#i thought it was gonna be the gang thing but
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Angel Baby - Rafe Cameron x Kook!reader P7
pairing: Best Friend!Rafe Cameron x Kook!Best-Friend!reader
summary: Rafe and Reader have known each other since kindergarten, always side by side, the king and princess of Figure 8. So why now does he start feeling different towards her, when all she's ever been is his best friend?
a/n: MERRY CHRISTMAS MY SEXYS!!!!!!! For the holidays thought I'd ramp things up, Let's see, Y/n's a bit of a diva in this tbh, she's a little cheeky, get it ig she's just a girl after all. Midsummer's is well underway, little feature from the gangs group chat and y/n and rafe? well cue careless whisper and shut your eyes *wink wink nudge nudge*. I've never actually written smut before so cut me some slack but it's lowkey inspired by Chappell's 'Picture You' iygwim... Love you all so so so much, enjoy and have a great holiday!!!!!!!!!!
warnings: nsfw! smut, self pleasure (rafe), kinda pervy rafe? (idk idk don't shoot me) dismissive mother figure (y/n lowkey got mommy issues ngl), drugs, smoking, alcohol, driving under the influence, suggestive behaviour (y/n).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Midsummers was lingering around the corner, Y/n pacing at her front door anxiously as she waited for the courier, peering out the window by the door in hopes of sighting the van pulling up by the gates. If he didn’t show up in the next five minutes she was going to have a meltdown. Her phone ringing loudly made her jump, she looked down to the device vibrating on the counter as she picked it up the name ‘Rafey’ shining up at her,
“Hey Princess”
Rafe was sat in his room, lounging back on his bed, mindlessly staring up at the ceiling fan which was revolving in slow turns. It was Midsummers today, and he was feeling antsy, knowing he needed to get a gift for the girl, he wanted to get her the best gift possible, their little tradition starting when he got her a small bouquet of flowers a few years ago, he liked to say that it was her early birthday present, but it was truly just an excuse for him to get her something. Of course this year it had to be better, after the night a few days ago, after his.. realisation that the girl was more than just a ‘best-friend’, he knew the evening was his chance to talk to her.
If that's what you wanna call it then-
Y/n pressed the phone to her ear, her voice slightly breathless as she answered, “Hey, what’s up?”
“Where are you?” Rafe’s voice rang out over the phone, straight to the point as usual.
“At home. Waiting for the courier.” She started pacing again, one hand holding the phone, the other tugging nervously at the hem of her shirt as she started to ramble.
“They’re late, and if they don’t show up soon, I’m screwed. I need this dress or I’m literally not coming. I’m not coming Rafe -do you know how embarrassing it would be to wear the sam-“
“Relax,” Rafe said, his tone steady but with the faintest hint of amusement. “You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack.”
“I can’t relax!” she snapped, her frustration spilling over. “Do you know how much this means? If I don’t have it ready by tonight-”
“I know, I know,” he interrupted, the girl was prone to overthinking, his voice softening. “It's a big deal. You’ve been talking about it non-stop for the past two weeks but freaking out isn’t going to help.”
Y/n groaned, slumping against the wall near her door. “Easy for you to say. You’re not the one on the verge of public humiliation.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line, then he spoke again, quieter this time.
“What’s really going on..?”
She hesitated, her fingers tightening around the phone. She opened her mouth to respond, but the sound of a car pulling up outside made her stop. Her head whipped toward the window, and she exhaled in relief.
“Courier’s here,” she said quickly. “I gotta go.”
“Y/n—” Rafe started, but she hung up before he could finish.
Whoopsies
Fucking brat
She shoved the phone into her pocket and opened the door, stepping out onto the porch as the courier climbed out of their van. The man carried a medium-sized box toward her, looking apologetic.
“Sorry for the delay,” the courier said, handing it over.
“It’s fine, thank you.” Y/n muttered, clutching the package to her chest like it was a lifeline. She watched the courier leave before heading back inside, shutting the door behind her. Her phone buzzed again, and she pulled it out to see another call from Rafe. She sighed, debating whether to answer. Part of her wanted to ignore it and focus on the package, but the other part of her knew Rafe wouldn’t just let it go -he was probably going to scold her for hanging up.
“Hi, again-”
“-Don’t ‘hi’ me,”
Rafe shot back. “You hung up on me. What’s going on?”
The girl sat down on the couch, setting the box beside her. She took a deep breath. “It’s just… a lot, okay? Everything has to be perfect tomorrow, and mom’s been on my back about it and I’m scared I’ll mess it up.” She trailed off, biting her lip.
“Right” Rafe spoke out, though she could already hear the knowing tone creeping into his voice.
“Shut up,” she mumbled, though her cheeks were already burning, she felt embarrassed she was so bothered,
Always overthinking
Just a dumb party
“Listen,” Rafe said, his tone turning serious again. “You’ve been stressing yourself out, I get it—you want to impress everyone.”
She didn’t answer, but the silence spoke volume.
“Y/n, you’re already... pretty amazing,” he continued. “You don’t need some big, grand gesture to prove that.” His words caught her off guard, and for a moment, she didn’t know how to respond. Finally, she whispered,
“Thanks, Rafe.”
“Anytime,” he said lightly. “Now go open that box and finish whatever masterpiece you’re working on. And stop overthinking.”
“Okay, okay,” she said, a small smile creeping onto her face. “Talk later?”
“Always,” he replied before hanging up. Y/n set the phone down, staring at the box beside her. Rafe’s words lingered in her mind as she reached for it opening it, fingers sliding over the soft silky material.
You better look good bitch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The girl sat at her vanity, dabbing a final touch of highlighter onto her cheekbones, as her hands moved down to tighten the belt around her waist of the fuzzy robe she had on. The soft music filled the background as she admired the dress hanging nearby, waiting to be put on. She picked up her phone, her fingers tapped against the screen, nails causing little clicks to rise into the air of the room, mixing in with the soft sound of the music playing in the background. She typed to the group chat,
Princess. : Lowkey might be late …
She hesitated for a moment, then hit send, her phone buzzed almost immediately.
Young Rich & Sexy (1 unread message)
Rafey : u got ur whole life planned out to the minute tf u mean ur late
Princess : Fashionably ofc
Kels : Why are you such a
Kelc : Wait what is it she says
T-man : Diva
Kels : Yeah
Kels : Why are you being a diva
Princess : You guys are so dramatic. I’m just finishing up, okay?
T-man : Nah
Rafey : “finishing up” means ur still running around in a robe and slippers
Princess : It’s nothing!!!
Princess : Just running a little behind
Rafey : Oh, so you’re spiralling
T-man : Got it
Kels : How many outfit changes are we at? Three? Four?
T-man : Five Minimum
Princess : I hate all of you
Rafey : Big words.
Rafey : Are you actually leaving, though?
Kels : Yeah, just get here before Rafe starts flirting with himself in the mirror
Rafey : Shut up
Rafey : At least I don’t take an hour deciding on a bowtie like you
Kels : ...
Kels : Fuck you
T-man : Y/n, this is what happens when you’re not around to keep us in line
Princess : Are you guys drinking already?
Rafe : Yes
Kels : No
T-man : Yes
Kels : Oh
Kels : Yes?
Kels : BAHAHAHAH
Princess : You’re all hopeless
She grabbed her clutch and slipped her phone into it, giving herself one final once-over in the mirror before heading out the door of her bedroom to meet her parents downstairs. The group chat continued buzzing, but she ignored it, feet padding down the stairs to slip on her heels.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The driver eased the car to a smooth stop in front of the country club, a line of luxury cars wound behind them, each filled with kooks dressed to the nines, ready to celebrate… what was it again?
Something about tradition, about status-
She stepped out of the car, the setting sun warm against her skin as she adjusted her dress. She followed closely behind her parents, her father offering a polite nod to the valet while her mother stepped forward, her sharp eyes scanning the scene. Before the girl could take another step toward the entrance, her mother’s hand landed lightly on her arm, stopping her in her tracks. Y/N turned, surprised by the tight grip and the serious expression etched on her mother’s face.
“Wait,” Marie said in a hushed tone, her voice low but firm enough to cut through the murmurs of the other guests near the entrance. She straightened, smoothing an invisible crease on her dress before turning her full attention to her daughter. Y/N raised an eyebrow.
“What?”
Her mother’s lips pressed into a thin line. “I want to remind you to be on your best behaviour tonight.”
Y/N rolled her eyes. “I’m always on my best behaviour.”
“Don’t be clever,” her mother snapped quietly, her tone just sharp enough to sting. “This isn’t just some casual get-together. It’s important. People are watching, Y/N. People who matter.” She emphasised to the girl.
Classic
“Watching for what, exactly?” Y/N shot back, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
“To see if I chew with my mouth closed or if I trip on my heels?”
Her mother’s jaw tightened. “To see if you’re worthy of standing in this room. To see if you reflect the family we’ve worked hard to build. You think reputation doesn’t matter, but it does. It matters more than you realise.”
Y/N crossed her arms, her posture defiant. “Right, because it’s all about what they think, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” her mother said sharply, her eyes narrowing.
“You don’t have to like it, but you will respect it. Your father and I have done everything to ensure we’re respected. I won’t have you undo it with some thoughtless remark or petty argument.”
Y/N clenched her jaw, biting back the words bubbling on her tongue. She hated these conversations- hated being reminded that she wasn’t just herself but an extension of her family’s carefully constructed image. Her mother’s gaze softened slightly, but her voice remained steady.
“This isn’t just about us, Y/N. One day, it will matter for you, too. You’ll see that eventually.”
Before Y/N could respond, her father’s voice cut through the tension. “Are we going in, or are we standing out here all night hmm?” The man could never notice the tension between the two women, he only saw his caring wife and sweet daughter. He leant down pressing a kiss to his wife’s cheek before wrapping his hand around Y/n’s waist pulling her towards him holding both women closely, “my girls.”
Her mother straightened, her composure snapping back, she gave Y/N a once-over, her expression unreadable, before turning toward the entrance taking her husbands hand and walking with him. The man turned his head back shortly, sending a wink in the girls direction, her fathers action brought a small smile to her face. With a deep breath, she pushed her frustration from her mother comments aside and followed her parents into the club, the sound of clinking glasses and polite laughter greeting them as the door swung open.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The scent of champagne and roses hung heavy in the air as Y/N stepped further inside, clutching the stem of a freshly poured flute. She felt the weight of eyes on her as she moved through the room, the navy fabric skimmed her body, hugging her waist before cascading to the floor in soft ripples. It was all so curated, so polished, but Y/N barely registered the scene. Not until her eyes landed on Rafe. He was standing near the bar, leaning casually against the counter, a glass of whiskey in his hand. His sharp jawline caught the light as he turned slightly, his shoulders broad under the perfectly tailored suit jacket he wore.
As if sensing her gaze, he looked up. Their eyes met for a split second, his brow raising slightly as a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.
His grip on the glass tightened as he straightened subtly, his attention narrowing entirely on Y/N as she entered the room. She was impossible to miss, even in the crowd. The navy satin of her dress shimmered under the light. His eyes trailed upward, catching on the delicate V of the neckline that framed her collarbones, which glowed faintly with a soft sheen. Her hair, threaded with tiny white flowers, was swept back to reveal the curve of her neck. She looked…
Wow
His throat felt dry.
Rafe’s gaze followed her as she moved toward the bar, her posture poised but relaxed, her fingers curling around a champagne flute. As she made her way towards the boy, she noticed Topper and Kelce standing behind him, eyeing up a group of girls giggling by the tables.
“Surpriseeee.”
She sang out as she did a little spin in front of the boy, the silk swaying with her. “Only,” she looks over to the clock on the wall, “15 minutes late.”
His eyes ran down over her body as her movement, a little smirk on his face before he chuckled at her comment,
“15 minutes? Might as well have not showed” He teased her as he tilted his head, looking down at her once again.
“Asshole.” She mutters out shoving his shoulder slightly before she looked over at him.
Damn
“You look good,” she spoke genuinely, her hand coming out to smooth down the blazer she’d shifted as she pushed him, she spoke playfully,
“handsome.”
He watched her as she smoothed the non-existent wrinkles in his blazer, his heart faltering at her compliment.
Handsome huh?
“You look….you look beautiful Y/n” He spoke out quietly, leaning in a little closer to her, his eyes roaming over her face.
A pink hue lifted to her cheeks at his words as her hand trailed down from his chest where she’d smoothed the blazer out, down his arm, to his hand, where her fingers brushed against his, a warm feeling settled in his stomach as her fingers danced over his hand.
“Thanks.” She spoke out quietly. Their moment was interrupted by the sound of a wolf whistle, Topper and Kelce stumbling over towards them as they looked Y/n.
“Kook Princess does it again!”
“Looking good.”
Kelce and Topper speak out to her, both stepping forward, one placing a kiss on her cheek as the other wraps his arms around her in a hug.
“You look like you just stepped out of a magazine. Like, one of those fancy ones with the shiny covers.” Kelce started to babble, Topper following soon after,
“Like the ones you collect what are they cal-“
“Vogue?” The girl asked amused smile on her face at their antics.
“Fuck yeah you look fresh out of Vogue.” Kelce spoke with a shake of his head.
Never heard that one before
“You two always know how to make a girl feel special.” She shot them a playful wink of her own, clearly unbothered by their banter.
“Well I’d hope all those hours of getting ready weren't for nothing.”
She speaks as she looks over to the group of girls huddling together, a hushed giggle breaking out as Topper and Kelce turn around to look at them, one of the girls lifting her hand and wiggling her fingers in a small wave. She spoke to the two boys as Rafe watched, leaning back against the bar counter,
“But you guys clean up well, heard you’ve been turning heads tonight..”
“More like giving head..”
The girls eyes widen as she lets out a loud laugh hand coming up to cover her mouth.
“Are you being for real?” She whispers out in a hush as the boy next to her shrugs his shoulder in a nonchalant manner a smirk rising to his face, she pushes Kelce away from her, his hand dropping from her waist,
“Ew you freak” she giggled as she shakes her head.
The boys rambled to each other defensively as she shook her head rolling her eyes at them turning back to Rafe. Y/N reached up absentmindedly to adjust her necklace, a habit she couldn’t seem to shake, only to freeze when her fingers brushed against bare skin. Her brow furrowed as she searched for the familiar chain, but it wasn’t there.
Shit
“I forgot my necklace.” She spoke out frown on her face.
Rafe, who had been watching her from the corner of his eye, leaned in with a teasing smile, the missing chain on her neck was one of the first thing’s he’d noticed when she’d gotten closer to him.
"You wear it everyday? How’d you forget it tonight"
"I don’t know. I just got distracted.” She shrugged as hint of disappointment in her tone.
Rafe’s smile softened, and he raised an eyebrow.
Perfect
“Come on, I’ve got something to show you.”
“What is it?”
Y/N glanced up at him, surprised her head tilting slightly.
He flashed her a grin “C'mon," he said, gently taking her hand.
"Follow me."
The girl slipped her hand into the crook of his arm which he held out for her as he led her away from the main group, stepping out from under the harsh lights and into the quieter side of the party, where the music felt distant and the crowd’s chatter muffled. She followed him curiously, the sound of her heels tapping against the floor drowned out by the thrum of the distant bass. When they reached a secluded corner, Rafe pulled away from her and slipped his hand into the inside pocket of his blazer. Y/N raised an eyebrow, her interest piqued.
“Here.”
He pulled out a small, velvet blue box, holding it out to her.
“It’s your Midsummer’s present."
Y/N blinked, taken aback. "What?" She hadn't been expecting anything, especially not tonight.
What-
Rafe’s smile was genuine, one that didn’t appear often.
“Our tradition? We’ve been doing this for years, -yeah well I have I guess"
Y/N’s heart fluttered in her chest. A small gift- something thoughtful, not extravagant, but always meaningful. And somehow, she’d forgotten about it this year, she’d been so fussed with her dress and her mother, the boy being occupied with his family's business, she didn’t think Rafe would bother this year.
Her fingers brushed over the soft velvet as she took the box from him, her heart skipping a beat as she opened it. Inside lay a dainty, golden necklace, delicate but elegant, with a tiny heart-shaped pendant hanging from it. The pendant was engraved with their initials-
Y/N . R
Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as she stared at it for a moment, a soft smile tugging at her lips. The necklace was beautiful, but what really moved her was the thought behind it. It was a symbol of their years of friendship, of the connection they shared that went beyond just tradition.
"Rafe… this is…" She looked up at him, her voice soft with gratitude. “It’s perfect.”
“Yeah? You like it”
"I love it Rafe seriously.”
Y/N held the small velvet box in her hands, her fingers still lingering over the necklace inside. Rafe stood in front of her, a soft smile on his lips, watching her with a quiet intensity that made her heart race. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but something about the way he was looking at her made the whole moment feel different—more meaningful than it was in the past years when he’d given her presents.
He smiled, his gaze tender. “I’m glad you like it.”
She nodded, the gesture simple but meaningful. She felt a lump form in her throat, a surge of warmth filling her chest. “Thank you.” She closed the box and stepped forward, pulling him into a tight hug. “Really. I love it.” Rafe returned the hug, his hands resting gently on her back. When she pulled away, he held her at arm's length, a playful glint in his eyes.
“Want me to put it on for you?”
Y/N laughed softly, feeling a mix of warmth and comfort from his presence. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
Without breaking eye contact, Rafe gently took the necklace from the box, the soft gold chain catching the light as he held it in his hands. His movements were slow, deliberate, as though he was savouring every moment. He stepped a little closer, and Y/N’s breath hitched, her heart fluttering in her chest. She felt his warmth before she even saw him move, the proximity suddenly making the air around them feel heavier, charged with something unspoken. His hands were steady, sure, but there was a tenderness to them as they reached out, the chain dangling between his fingers.
Rafe’s fingers gently grazed the back of her neck as he moved to place the necklace around her, his touch barely there but still enough to send a shiver down her spine. She held her breath for a moment, feeling the heat of his skin against hers, the soft brush of his fingertips making her skin tingle.
There was something so simple, so intimate about it.
"Hold still," he murmured, barely audible.
She felt the coolness of the chain against her skin, and then, the soft click of the clasp as he fastened it around her neck.
“There,” he said, his voice low but warm. “Perfect.”
When he stepped back, his gaze never leaving hers, Y/N’s heart was still pounding in her chest. She touched the pendant, feeling the cool gold between her fingers, but her mind was still caught on the feel of his touch.
“You look beautiful,” he said quietly, his voice almost a whisper.
“Rafe,” she said, her voice thick with emotion she hadn’t expected to feel.
“This… this means so much.”
"I’m happy," he began, his voice lower than usual, as he fidgeted with the cuff of his blazer.
"I didn’t know what to get you this year, so-“
“You didn’t need to get me anything.’
“-I wanted to.”
He swallowed hard, trying to gather his thoughts. He hesitated as he looked at her, the necklace catching the light, glimmering as it rested against her skin. His bowtie suddenly felt awfully tight his tongue darted out to wet his dry lips, his breath feeling short. His shaky hand raised to his neck, finger shoving between his shirt and neck to loosen the material. Standing there right in front of him, he couldn't look away from her. His gaze lingered on her, a mix of admiration and something deeper—something he had been fighting to ignore for a long time. His heart was thudding so harshly against his chest he felt like he was going to pass out, he stepped just a little closer, his breath catching in his throat.
Say it now
He needed to.
“Y/N,” he started again, his voice quieter, but no less intense, he hesitated, his pulse racing as his eyes met hers.
"I lo—"
“Y/N!”
He jerked his head up, the words dying on his lips as he looked toward the source of the loud voice.
Wheezie yelled out as she pranced over to the girl happily wide smile on her face, Y/n’s head turned to look to her arms reaching out to catch the younger girl who’d bounded straight into her arms.
Fuck
Y/N’s expression softened immediately, and before she could even say a word, Wheezie was already wrapping her arms around Y/N’s waist, pulling her into a tight hug. Y/N let out a strained laugh and returned the hug.
Any time but now...
“Y/N!” Wheezie squealed, her voice full of excitement. “I missed you so much! I haven't seen you in like forever!”
Rafe stood there, frozen, watching them. His heart thudded heavily in his chest, the weight of the moment hanging thick in the air between them. His confession- his almost confession- had been so close.
So close, in fact, that it almost felt like it was still hanging there, unspoken.
Y/N smiled down at Wheezie, her arms around her tightly. "I know, I’ve missed you too, Wheezie," she said warmly.
"Things have been a little busy lately,” her eyes glanced over to Rafe as she spoke out. The boy cleared his throat, trying to shake off the tension, obvious to his sister. His eyes flicked from Wheezie back to Y/N, the opportunity was gone now.
The words he had almost said to her- words that had been building in him for weeks, months even- seemed to slip away, lost in the noise of the party around them.
He gave a tight smile, feeling a mixture of frustration and amusement. "Yeah," he said, trying to sound casual, even though his voice felt heavier than usual.
"Real busy."
Y/N, sensing the shift in the air, gave him a small but reassuring smile. She knew him too well, probably more than anyone else did. Wheezie ignored their silent interaction, eyes wide with excitement.
“You will not believe what I just found out!” She looked back and forth between them.
Rafe groaned at his sister.
Fucks sake
“Wheezie, not now…”
“You know Audrey and Max? They’re hooking up! For real!” She threw her hands up dramatically, as if she announced the discovery of the century.
“I heard them talking at the bar. They think they’re being all secretive, but—hello?!
Y/N’s brows furrowed slightly as she processed the gossip, but she couldn’t help but laugh. “Wait, seriously?”
“I was like, what? Audrey and Max? So sneaky!” Wheezie shook her head. The younger girl smiled smugly, then turned her attention to Rafe, who was standing there, still trying to regain his bearings. She raised an eyebrow, noticing the odd tension hanging in the air.
“What’s going on here?” she asked with a sly grin.
“Are you two like, having a moment?”
Rafe blinked, caught off guard by her sudden shift in focus. His heart was still racing and now, his younger sister was teasing him about it. He forced a smile, shaking his head slightly.
“No, just… catching up,” he said, his voice a little more strained than usual.
Wheezie raised an eyebrow, her playful expression shifting to something more teasing, glancing back and forth between them. She squinted at them, clearly working out what she thought was going on.
“Are you guys fuc-”
Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise, her cheeks flushing slightly,
Uh-
“What!? No, we’re just…” She stumbled over her words, clearly trying to keep things casual.
“Wheezie, don’t be ridiculous.” Rafe spoke out to the girl in a disapproving tone.
Really not helping here.
Wheezie just raised her eyebrows, clearly unconvinced. “Uh-huh, sure, sure. But just so you know, I’m, like, really good at reading people.”
Y/n laughed awkwardly as she looked over at the girl, “right well-”
Wheezie suddenly grabbed the girl by the arm and began tugging her away toward the drink table. “Come on, let’s get a drink. I need to fill you in on the drama.”
Y/N, looking apologetic, glanced back over her shoulder. “Sorry,” she called, offering him a small smile.
“It’s fine,” Rafe quickly replied, forcing a smile, even though a part of him was disappointed as he watched his sister drag the girl away, the navy fabric sewing around her legs as she got lost in the crowd of brightly coloured dresses.
It’s not fine.
He had almost said it- almost told her how he felt, how much she meant to him. But now, the chance had passed, and the more he thought about it, the more he felt like he’d missed it. That perfect moment was gone, stolen by Wheezie’s innocent oblivion. He sighed, shaking his head, trying to push the frustration aside. He had another chance, right? He just needed to be patient. The music continued to thump in the background, and the party went on, but Rafe couldn’t shake the feeling that the one thing he wanted most had just slipped through his fingers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rafe lingered by the edge of the party, his gaze fixed on Y/N as she laughed and talked with Wheezie,
“You okay, man?”
Rafe was startled out of his thoughts by the voice of Topper, who had appeared beside him, a beer bottle in hand. Topper's eyes were trained on the boy's expression, clearly picking up on the tension. Rafe swallowed hard, forcing a smile.
"Yeah, yeah. Just... tired,"
he said, but even to his own ears, it sounded hollow. He cleared his throat, wanting to change the subject before Topper could press. He glanced over at the group of girls, including Y/N, who was chatting with the boys sister.
“You’ve been kind of quiet all night.”
Rafe shifted on his feet, feeling the weight of Topper’s observation. "I'm fine," he said quickly, brushing it off again. But this time, it wasn’t as convincing.
“Okay, man,” Topper said with a skeptical smile. “If you say so.” He took a long swig of his beer, then added, more casually,
“Y/n liked her necklace?”
Rafe’s breath caught, and he nodded stiffly.
“Yeah, why?”
Topper shrugged, seemingly nonchalant, but Rafe could tell he was watching him closely. The boy let out a sharp laugh, but there was no humour behind it.
Seriously?
“What's the problem.”
Topper just grinned, his tone dropping to something a little more playful but still serious. “Look Rafe, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but you should just… say something.”
Rafe’s chest tightened at the words, like a weight had just settled on his ribs.
“What’re you talking bout Top-”
“Come on.”
Topper leaned against the nearby wall, clearly in no rush. “I’ve known you long enough to know when you're into someone. And I know how much you care about her. But don’t wait until she’s looking at someone else..”
The boys eyes drifted over to Y/n, who was now talking to Cooper, a smile on her face as she pushed her hair over her shoulder, laughing at what the boy was saying. Her hands reached out fixing his slightly bent tie, before the boy pulled her towards the floor where couples were dancing, he spun her clumsily to which she shook her head at him happily, her hands now resting on her shoulders.
“You think it’s that easy?” Rafe muttered, as his hand rubbed over his face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The lights strung up around the club now flickered softly, casting a warm, inviting glow over the crowd. Y/N, with her head tilted back in laughter, let out a genuine chuckle as Topper dramatically reenacted a conversation from earlier in the night, his exaggerated gestures making everyone laugh even harder. Kelce was leaning against the bar, his smile wide, eyes gleaming as he added his own commentary. The girl brought her hand up wiping away at the tear in her eye, maybe she had one too many of those champagne flutes that were being walked around. A warm buzz started in her chest and radiated outward, making everything feel just a little giddier. She glanced around, half-focused on the conversation unfolding before her, the words blending together in a pleasant, almost melodic hum.
Her gaze wandered for a moment, eyes catching on Rafe. The way his smile lit up on his face, the way he looked at her, even from across the room, made her chest flutter, but in a way that felt hazy. Maybe it was the alcohol.
Maybe it’s him?
She wasn’t sure. But everything seemed just a little more intense, despite the slight fuzziness clouding her thoughts.
A grin tugged at Kelce's lips, and he straightened up, pulling a blunt from his blazer pocket with an almost practiced ease. He held it up casually, letting the group see it, a playful smirk dancing on his face.
“How about a little fresh air, some space to breathe?”
His gaze lingered on Y/N for a moment, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of his mouth,
“I’m feeling like the beach is calling my name.”
Rafe, still nursing his drink, glanced at the others, his gaze drifting back to Y/N, a bit of quiet time away from the buzz of the club felt like a good idea. He met Kelce’s eyes for a second before shrugging.
“Couldn’t hurt,” he said. Kelce, sensing he was starting to win the group over, gave a knowing nod and flicked the blunt again.
“Exactly. So, what do you say? Beach, fresh air, good company—
“I’m down” Cooper spoke out as he stood up from his seat, Topper nodding along in agreement. Y/N hesitated for a second, but the thought of the beach, the quiet, cool night air felt tempting. She finally nodded, her lips curving into a small smile.
“Why not?”
She glanced at the group, who were already starting to make their way toward the door, then back at her mom. She wasn’t sure how long they'd be gone, and she didn’t want to leave her mom completely unaware of her whereabouts. The girl took a deep breath and made her way back to the bar, where her mother was still chatting away with a few friends, her laughter ringing out louder than it should have.
"Hey, Mom," Y/N said, leaning in close, tapping her lightly on the shoulder.
Her mother turned toward her, blinking as if surprised to see her daughter standing there. A wide grin spread across her face, and she let out a small giggle. “Oh! Hi sweet girl," she slurred lightly, “You havin’ fun?”
Y/N smiled, already feeling that familiar warmth spreading through her at her mother’s carefree attitude.
“Yeah, gonna head to the beach with the others... get some fresh air.”
Her mom squinted at her for a moment, still a little disoriented but clearly not at all concerned. She waved her hand dismissively,
“Oh honey, that’s fine, go, go... fresh air is good. Go. Have fun." She paused before pulling her daughter into a quick, tight hug. Y/N squeezed her mom back, her heart a little lighter.
“I will. Love you,” she said, stepping back. Her mom waved her off with a lazy grin, already turning back to her conversation.
"Love you too, baby!"
Her heart clenched slightly, her mother was only ever that way when she was drunk, and she wished it was more often that she got to see her like that. The drunken version of her mom- full of giggles, playfulness and affection- was a rare sight, one that always disappeared by morning. Y/N turned and walked back toward the group, as much as she loved her mom, as much as she appreciated everything she did, there was always a part of her that wished she could hold onto this lighter version of her just a little longer, that maybe one day she could see it without the help of alcohol or the haze of exhaustion. She turned back toward the door, catching up with the group stepping outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She walked a little further toward the back of the club, the sound of her footsteps soft against the path leading to the beach. Her eyes caught sight of the others already moving down the sandy shore, their figures distant in the night, laughing, talking, stumbling around, but someone was waiting for her by the edge of the club’s back entrance. Rafe leaned casually against the brick wall,
“You makin me wait, huh?”
Rafe teased lightly, raising an eyebrow as she stopped in front of him, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. The tensions of the early evening seemed to wash away, he couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol he’d drank over the night or if it was the girls presence, she seemed to put him at ease in a way.
Y/N smiled, feeling a little self-conscious as she glanced at him. “I had to tell mom where I was going,” she said, a slight shrug. “You know how it is.” Rafe’s smile softened just a little, his eyes flickering over her. “Yeah, I get it.”
As they stepped away from the club, the noise and lights faded behind them, leaving just the quiet hum of the ocean and the soft rustle of the wind through the trees. The beach stretched out before them, waves lapping gently at the shore. Rafe was moving ahead of her, his stride confident, hands tucked into his pockets. He glanced over his shoulder, catching sight of her slowing down a little, her heels sinking into the sand with every step. He smirked, clearly noticing the struggle, but there was a softness in his eyes that made it seem more endearing than anything else. Y/N sighed, shifting her weight to one foot as she tried to pull her heel free from the stubborn sand.
“Great”
She muttered under her breath, her gaze on the ground as she wiggled her foot, trying to free herself from the sinking trap. The sand wasn’t ideal, shifting beneath her with every movement, and the heels she wore weren’t exactly beach-appropriate. Rafe took a few steps back toward her, his grin wide but his expression amused.
“Need a hand, princess?”
He teased, the nickname slipping from his lips, she rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at her lips.
"I’ve got it,"
She said, trying to sound determined, but the truth was, the more she tried to pull her foot free, the more stuck she seemed to get. Before Y/N could respond, or even protest, Rafe’s strong arms slipped around her waist. With one swift motion, he lifted her effortlessly, pulling her off the ground and into his arms in a bridal hold.
Y/N let out a surprised hum, her breath catching at the suddenness of it. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck to steady herself, her heart skipping a beat as the world shifted.
That was unexpected
“What—Rafe?” she exclaimed, voice catching with a mix of shock and something else she couldn’t quite identify. The surprise was quickly replaced with a strange sense of comfort, the boy shot her a teasing grin, his arms strong around her as he held her securely,
"You didn’t think I’d leave you stranded in the sand, did you?"
Y/N blinked up at him, still a little stunned. Her voice came out slightly breathless as she muttered,
"You better not drop me."
His smirk deepened, and without missing a beat, he glanced down at her with that same playful gleam in his eyes.
"Drop you?"
He repeated, as though considering it. Then, just as Y/N was about to give him a skeptical look, he slackened his grip just slightly, as though he was going to drop her entirely. Y/N’s eyes widened.
"Rafe!"
She squealed, her hands instinctively tightening around his neck, pulling herself toward him. The sudden shift in weight had her clinging to him tighter, her heart skipping a beat as she could feel the way he was teasing her.
Oh my fucking go-
"Don’t you dare!"
"Gotcha,"
he laughed, lifting her back up his grip firm again as he steadied her. Rafe’s grin only deepened as she clinged onto him.
"Yeah, well, you’ve got a death grip on me now," He teased, his lips almost brushing against her ear as he spoke. "Maybe next time, I’ll actually drop you.” Y/N rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face was undeniable.
“I’ll remember that,” she said, but the words came out softer than she meant. As the others came into view, Kelce, Cooper, and Topper all gathered in a loose circle, passing something between them, Rafe slowed his pace.
"Alright, princess," he murmured with a small, amused smile, "this is where I put you down."
How about you don't?
Where did that come from-
Y/N, still nestled in his arms, raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You mean you’re done showing off?"
Rafe's grin softened just slightly,
"Something like that."
With a small chuckle, he gently lowered her feet to the sand, his hands lingering on her waist for just a moment longer than necessary, like he didn’t quite want to let go. Y/N felt a slight chill from being on her own two feet again, but the warmth from his touch lingered. Rafe’s gaze flicked up to the group as they passed the blunt around. Kelce was the first to wave them over with a grin.
“Took you long enough, you guys finally fuck or what?” He said, his tone light and teasing, his eyes already hazy from whatever it was they'd been smoking.
“You wish,” Y/n spoke back as she flicked her middle finger up at him. She glanced at the blunt in Kelce’s hand,
"Thanks for sharing,"
she said, her voice casual, though there was a slight challenge in her tone as she reached out for the blunt taking it from Kelce. Holding the blunt, she exhaled a soft laugh before bringing it to her lips. She took a slow drag eyes fluttering close, feeling the familiar, slightly heady warmth settle in her chest as she held the smoke in her lungs for a second before releasing it into the night air.
Kelce grinned, watching her. "That’s what I like to see," he said with a wink, before reaching for it again.
Y/N passed it off to him, the buzz from the first drag already making her feel a little lighter. She turned her attention to Rafe, who was watching her with a slightly amused, almost thoughtful expression. His gaze that lingered just a moment too long.
“See I can handle myself,” she teased, nudging him with her shoulder as she leaned back against the sand.
"No need to carry me around like a princess all night."
Rafe chuckled, shaking his head, but there was something almost protective in his demeanour as he shifted closer, taking a seat next to her.
"I’ll carry you whenever I feel like it," he said with a shrug, his grin returning. "Besides, I think you secretly liked it."
Y/N rolled her eyes and she gave him a small smile.
“Maybe. But don’t get used to it.”
The night had stretched into a lazy, hazy blur, the joint passed around clouding any coherent thoughts. The group was lost in their high now, their conversation drifting like the smoke in the air. The beach was quiet, save for the soft sound of waves crashing against the shore, and the occasional laughter that spilled from one of them, the sound of the party behind them occasionally breaking the calmness. Y/n, thoroughly buzzed from the weed and the champagne, was nestled against Rafe, her body leaning into him seeking his warmth. He was resting on his elbows, his posture relaxed, his gaze shifting between the distant shore and the girl every now and then; the sea breeze tousled his hair slightly, but he didn’t seem to mind, his usual tension gone.
The girl, on the other hand, was practically vibrating with laughter. Everything seemed funny to her- Topper’s latest comment, the random thoughts floating through her mind, even the way the sand beneath her seemed to shift with every movement she made. Her giggles were light and contagious, Rafe’s eyes flickered down at her, the corners of his mouth curving into a small smile.
Her fingers, wobbly, were fiddling with the buttons of his shirt, moving from one to the next as though they were the most fascinating things in the world. His shirt was loose, the fabric stretching slightly as she moved her fingers, Rafe felt a light tension coil in his chest. He couldn’t quite explain it, maybe it was the way her fingers traced his shirt, or the sound of her voice when she spoke.
He didn’t pull away, though. Instead, he let her keep fidgeting with his shirt, his focus shifting back and forth between her and the sound of Kelce and Topper laughing as they waded through the waves. They had made their way to the edge of the water to cool off, their carefree chatter and occasional splashes rising over the sound of the ocean.
Y/n shifted, her fingers brushing under one of the buttons on his shirt again, causing her hand to graze his skin. The brief contact made Rafe’s breath catch slightly, and his body went rigid for a split second, though he did his best to mask it.
So warm
“Stop fidgeting with my shirt,” he said lightly, though there was no edge to his tone, just a quiet humour in his voice. The girl looked up at him then, her lips curled into a, playful smile.
“I can’t help it,” she replied, her voice teasing, her eyes twinkling with a mix of mischief and warmth. “I’m bored…” She whined. Rafe chuckled, his gaze flicking between her and the others in the distance before he let his eyes rest back on her.
“Bored, huh?” he repeated, leaning just a little closer, the warmth of his body mixing with hers.
“Maybe I could entertain you...”
There was a pause, a charged silence hanging between them. Rafe’s words were a playful invitation, but his tone had shifted ever so slightly, an underlying edge of something more subtle in between them. His gaze softened as he looked down at her, his eyes lingering on her lips for just a moment before snapping back to her eyes.
Y/n didn’t seem to notice the shift, her giggles still bubbling from her chest, softening as her breath caught, fingers pausing on his shirt, her hand resting lightly against his chest for a brief second.
“Maybe you should,” she said, her voice a little dreamy.
Her heart was racing, thoughts a little jumbled from the joint she'd kept bringing back to her lips, she cursed herself for her lack of self restraint. She could still feel the heat of Rafe’s body beside hers, his arm brushing against hers as he shifted, his eyes never left hers, and the soft amusement in his gaze now mixed with something more intense, more uncertain.
Don't do it-
But what's the harm?
Her fingers trailed up to the top of his shirt, her eyes looking at the black bowtie done up under his neck, her finger looped around the material loosening slightly, watching as it falls around his neck. Her teeth bite at her bottom lip as she pops open his top button, trailing down to the next two opening up the material, his skin now exposed to the cool sea air, her breath hitched but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she leaned in just a little, her lips barely grazing the skin of his jaw. The move was slow, almost hesitant, but it was enough to make Rafe’s eyes narrow just slightly. He seemed to hold his breath for a moment, as if he was waiting for her to make the next move.
His hand, without thinking, shifted a little closer to her. His fingers brushed lightly against her side, a soft touch that sent a jolt through her. As she pulled away from his jaw slightly, her breath shallow, Rafe could see the flush spreading across her cheeks. Her lips were slightly parted, her pupils dilated, the hint of glassiness in her eyes betraying the effects of the drug. The subtle tremor in her fingers as she rested them on his chest didn't go unnoticed, and neither did the way her gaze wavered—she was there, but not entirely there.
Rafe’s heart pounded in his chest as he watched her, the air between them thick with an electric tension. She seemed so close, so present- but at the same time, there was a layer of fog surrounding her that made him pause. The way she looked at him, her eyes soft but unfocused, her body language so open and trusting… it created an urge within him, something that made him want to pull her in.
But the longer he looked at the girl, he came to terms with what was going on and his stomach tightened slightly. This wasn't right.
She's high you gotta stop
It wasn’t that he didn’t want her, God, he wanted her more than he could put into words—but in that moment, he saw the vulnerability in her that he hadn't before. The haze in her eyes, the way she was almost floating in her own thoughts, disconnected from the world around her. He could see the haze in her expression, the slight confusion, the softness in her gaze that wasn’t entirely hers. She wasn’t fully present. She wasn’t fully aware of what was going on, not the way he needed her to be.
His hand hovered at her waist, but he didn’t pull her closer now. He couldn’t. He was aware- too aware of what this moment would mean if he crossed that line without her consciousness.
He wasn’t that guy. He never would be.
Her fingers brushed his chest again, but this time, he didn’t respond the way he normally would. His eyes took in the way she looked up at him, her breath still shallow, the lightness in her smile tugging at his heart.
He exhaled, fighting the urge to pull her in, his heart beating louder with every passing second. She deserved more than this, she deserved clarity, not confusion. He could already see the trust in her eyes, an unspoken invitation in the way she looked at him, but it wasn’t real- not in the way it should be.
“Y/N,”
Rafe said quietly, his voice steady but with a hint of concern. He reached up, his hand brushing her hair away from her face as his thumb gently stroked her cheek.
“Don’t think this is a good time princess” His words were soft, but they held a weight. She blinked slowly, her expression still dreamy, and for a moment, Rafe couldn’t tell if she’d even heard him. But her lips parted, her eyes narrowing slightly as if trying to focus.
“Why not Rafey,” she mumbled, words slower than usual, the lack of clarity in her voice made his chest at her vulnerability.
So fucking stubborn
He could feel the tension building again, the desperate longing inside him clawing at his chest. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to pull her into him and lose himself in her. But something inside him, a voice that was louder than his impulses, told him to stop. He was starting to realise why she only smoked when he was around, he didn’t want to imaginer like this, so innocent and trusting at a party by herself, surrounded by people she didn’t know.
The thought made him nauseous.
He leaned back, his gaze holding hers, steady, but with an edge of hesitation.
“Not like this,” he said softly, almost to himself, but loud enough for her to hear. She tilted her head in confusion, her lips pursing as if trying to understand, but Rafe shook his head slightly. He could wait. He could wait until she was fully aware, he wouldn’t take advantage of her- he couldn’t- he'd never even think of it.
“Y/N, look at me,”
he whispered, reaching out gently to hold her face, his thumb grazing her soft skin. “I’m not going anywhere. But I’m not doing this with you like this.”
For a moment, there was only the sound of the waves and the distant laughter of the others in the background, and then, finally, she nodded, her expression soft, a slight pout tugging at her lips. She was still out of it, but she understood the sincerity in his voice, and it made something flutter in his chest.
With a sigh, Rafe pulled back just slightly, releasing his hold on her but keeping his gaze on her face, his heart still hammering in his chest. She didn’t say anything more instead she leaned into him ever so slightly, head resting on his shoulder, just enough to let him know she wasn’t pulling away, but she was still there, still trusting him.
And that was all he needed.
The boy took in a slow breath, then dropped his hand back to his side. He could feel the pull, the heat, the temptation to kiss her, but he resisted, allowing the silence to settle between them.
She's won't remember any of this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Rafe pulled outside the girls house, the soft hum of the engine and Y/n’s occasional delayed mumble of the song lyrics playing were the only sound between them, the night air seemed thicker now, charged with something unspoken. The glow of the streetlights flickered over the girl's face, catching the soft curve of her jaw, the faint flush still lingering on her cheeks. He had barely said a word to her since the conversation on the beach, unsure of what to say, his mind still buzzing from the way things had shifted and he knew she hadn't noticed, too preoccupied in her own little world.
He's got a nice nose
You know what they say about big noses-
Girl shut the fuck up
The car slowed to a stop in front of her house, but neither of them moved immediately. He kept his hands firmly on the wheel, trying to calm the sudden pressure that had started to coil in his chest. Every little shift of her body, every soft breath she took, seemed emphasise in the silence between them. Y/N didn’t seem in any hurry to get out, her fingers fiddling with the slit of her dress as she looked out the window, exposing her thigh to the air of the car. She leaned just a little closer,
“Thanks for bringing me back,”
she said softly, her voice sweet and laced with a quiet giggle that clung to the walls of the car. He nodded, his throat tight, trying to keep his composure.
“Of course. You okay?”
He asked, though he noticed the way her fingers were now tracing the fabric of his seat, the way her gaze lingered on him a little too long. She turned to face him, her lips pulling into a playful, almost mischievous smile.
“Yeah, I’m good,” she said, her voice insistent, as if she were trying to convince herself. She leaned toward him just slightly, her shoulder brushing against his arm as she shifted closer. Rafe felt the heat rising in his body, a surge of something he was desperately trying to control. She was still so touchy, so close. Her hand, which had been absentmindedly resting on her lap, now slid to his arm, her fingers lightly brushing his shirt, making his pulse hitch.
The light touch sent a spark through him, one that made him clench his jaw. He had to remind himself that she wasn’t fully in control of her actions, but it didn’t make it any easier. His muscles tensed as her fingers lingered for just a second too long on his forearm before slowly tracing up his sleeve. The soft caress sent an undeniable shiver through him, one that made it harder to concentrate.
He swallowed hard, his grip on the steering wheel tightening as her fingers trailed up to his shoulder, her palm resting against the side of his neck. It was too much—too much of her, too much softness in her touch, too much of the way she was looking at him like she wanted more. Her gaze, still slightly unfocused, held a curiosity, a gentleness that was intoxicating. She pushed herself slightly closer to him over the centre console, her dress dragging down slightly, the v-neck exposing her skin to him, the low cut revealing more of her chest than he was expecting.
"Rafe..." Her voice was barely a whisper now, like she was testing his name on her lips, her fingers now slowly sliding over the side of his neck, her touch sending goosebumps across his skin. His jaw locked, his teeth grinding together as he fought the growing desire inside him.
“Y/N, stop,” he said through clenched teeth, his voice low and strained, but firm. He turned his head toward her, his gaze intense, trying to pull her back into reality.
“Need to go home yeah? You’re not yourself right now.”
Don't wanna go home want you
She didn’t seem to hear him- or maybe she didn’t care, he couldn't tell. Her hand slid around to the back of his neck, her fingers brushing the nape of his hair, it almost made his resolve crumble. He forced himself to meet her gaze, but his heart was hammering in his chest, and he was so aware of the way her body was leaning closer, the heat radiating off her.
She smiled up at him, leaning in, her lips brushing against his neck in a soft, teasing kiss. “You’re so serious all the time,” she murmured, her breath warm against his skin.
“Why can’t you just relax?”
His whole body stiffened. His grip on the wheel tightened so much his knuckles went white. He tried to focus on anything but the way her lips lingered near his neck, the way her breath caressed his skin, how close she was.
“Y/N, you need to get out of the car,” he said, his voice strained, the words slipping out before he could stop them.
“Go inside, I’m not going to do this with you, not when you’re not yourself.”
She pouted, her gaze flickering down to his lips and back up to his eyes. “You’re no fun...” she said with a playful giggle.
Rafe let out a long, slow breath, he didn’t want to hurt her feelings,
“C’mon princess” he said quietly, his tone more affectionate, yet still firm.
“Go inside for me, yeah? You’re not thinking clearly.”
She didn’t resist.
After a long beat, she finally pulled her hand away, glossy eyes looking at him as she pushed open the door. Before she stepped out, she turned back to look at him one last time, her smile still lingering but faint; she pushed herself back into the car and placed a soft kiss onto his cheek.
“Goodnight, Rafey.”
She whispered, her voice wavering and slightly off-balance. She wiggled her fingers at him in a wave before closing the door behind her, and Rafe watched as she staggered up to her front door, her steps a little less steady than usual. She fiddled with the doorhandle, and he debated whether he should get out and help her open the door. Somehow she managed to crack the door open, she turned back to him blowing him a kiss before closing the door behind her.
Once she was inside, Rafe sat there for a moment, his jaw still clenched, trying to shake the weight of everything that had just happened. Her touch had been too much and as much as he had tried to keep his distance, it didn’t matter because his body was betraying him.
He shifted uncomfortably in the seat, feeling the tightness of his slacks against him, and he swore under his breath. The pressure between his legs was undeniable, a constant reminder of how wrong it all was.
She's high.
AND she's not herself.
He dragged his hand through his hair again, frustration gnawing at him. He had to leave. But the thoughts came anyway- the image of her lips, the soft weight of her body against his, the way her smile made his chest tighten. He could feel the pressure building again, the ache in his body, and for a split second, he imagined what it would be like to pull her back into the car, to kiss her until she forgot everything except him. To hear her moan his name, to feel her hands on him the way they were on his neck...
Rafe’s breath hitched.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The boy's hands gripped the wheel tighter as he rolled into the driveway of Tannyhill, the tires crunching over the gravel as he parked the car in front of the empty house. The quiet of the night surrounded him, only the distant hum of a few streetlights and the rustling of leaves in the breeze breaking the stillness.
He sat in his car for a moment, head resting against the steering wheel eyes closed and jaw clenched tight as he tried to push away the memory and the feeling of her touch. He felt guilty, but he also couldn't shake the feeling of wanting more. His body was still trembling as he remembered the way she'd touched him, the way she'd looked up at him with hazy, glazed eyes. He shifted awkwardly in his seat, slacks straining against him.
A glimpse of pink catches the corner of his eye, Rafe’s gaze lingered on the pink jumper in the backseat, the soft fabric wrinkled from weeks of being tossed around in the car, yet it still carried the faint scent of her. His heart thudded in his chest, and he couldn’t help the surge of desire that bloomed inside him. The memory of her wearing it, her figure draped in the soft jumper, rushed back with vivid clarity.
He reached over slowly, almost as if he was afraid it would disappear if he moved too quickly. His fingers brushed against the fabric, and the sensation sent a small shiver down his spine. Grabbing the jumper, he lifted it from the backseat, holding it in his hands like it was something precious. The soft material felt almost too delicate against his skin, his breath caught in his throat as his mind wandered. He could almost feel her body against his again, the way her soft hands had pressed into him.
He let out a shaky breath, the air in the car feeling warmer than it had moments ago. His fingers traced the edge of the sleeve, the softness reminding him of the girl. Rafe’s grip on the jumper tightened, and his chest rose with a slow, deep breath as he brought the soft fabric up to his face. The scent of her hit him again- intoxicating and something uniquely Y/n that made his stomach flip. His eyes fluttered shut as he inhaled, the softness of the material pressing against his nose, his lips. The familiar scent settled deep inside him, and he couldn’t stop the grunt that slipped out, low and unguarded, his head tilted back against the seat.
His mind swirled with visions of her, of what could have happened, of how easily he could have pulled her back into the car; the heat between them had been undeniable- much too strong to ignore.
He could feel the burn in his chest, the low, insistent throb heavy between his legs.
Rafe’s jaw clenched as he pulled the jumper closer to his face again, breathing her in deeply, letting her scent consume him. His hand drifted down his body, fingers fiddling with his belt as he loosened it, the rattling of the metal buckle filling the car.
He lifted his hips up slightly, shaking hand slipping his trousers down past his hips just enough. His breath was harsh and ragged, his body burning, the feeling of her scent surrounding him; the memory of her touch still fresh in his mind, making him twitch with want, he groaned aloud as he wrapped the jumper around his hand, needing to feel the softness against him.
The jumper was wrapped around his hand in a tight, desperate grip as he moved it down to his crotch, palming himself slowly through the fabric, the friction making his breath come out in quick, uneven huffs.
He let out a low, moan his voice thick with need, but it wasn't enough, it wasn't what he really wanted.
In a hurried movement, he slid his hand inside his briefs, grasping his length, and began to stroke himself, eyes closed as he let out a guttural groan, his head falling back against the seat as his body responded to the touch of his hand and the soft material wrapped around it.
He imagined the girl in the passenger seat, her eyes heavy-lidded with desire, her lips parted in anticipation as she was moments before he’d told her to leave.
He swallowed harshly as he circled the tip of his throbbing cock, beads of pre-cum coating his thumb.
His mind flickered back to the golf course weeks ago, the girl on her knees in front of him, innocent doe eyes looking up. He pictured the night going differently, his sweet best-friend leaning over, her lips wrapping around the head of his cock, her tongue swirling and teasing his tip, cheeks hollowing around him. He let out a heavy breath at the image of the girl in his mind, his hand gripping himself tighter. He imagined his hands threading through her hair, pulling it up into a ponytail as her eyes fluttered shut, pushing his hips towards her, the girls nails dragging down his thighs as she gagged around him. Her whimpers and whines echoing in his mind, his hand, still holding the jumper trembled slightly as he pressed it harder against his face, as he thrusted himself up into his fist at the smell of her. Rafe's strokes grew faster, his breath coming out in short gasps, his hips bucking up into his hand frantically as he envisioned the girl pulling away from him, eyes teary and glazed over like they were tonight, looking up to him her mouth open for him awaiting, lips reddened and wet with her spit.
“Fuck y/n” he groaned shakily as the slick sounds filling the car came to a stop, warm ropes of cum landing over the soft pink material wrapped around his hand.
Rafe's heavy breaths filled the car, windows now fogged up. The boy sat there motionless looking down at the mess in his lap, mind reeling.
What the fu-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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do you have a ranking of your favourite arcane characters?
this might come as a little bit of a shocker…
MOST
Caitlyn
Vi
Jayce
Mel
Sevika
Ekko
Jinx
Ambessa
Viktor
LEAST
caitlyn is my absolute FAVORITE character!! idk what it is about her but i want to have her children! i would definitely be her little housewife fr! she has me acting in ways… IM CONCERNED ABOUT. i would definitely be in her corner like “babe stop this isn’t you! look at me baby this isn’t you! don’t let jinx get you there.” …yeah it’s bad.
vi is a VERY CLOSE second. i absolutely ADORED her character. she lowkey reminds me of myself fr, willing to do anything and everything for the ones she loves. i have an older brother who has autism and would DIE for that mf fr! i really loved how even though she was frustrated with jinx… she never really gave up on her… in my eyes at least.
…now… jayce i’m not gonna lie.. he’s position on this list is a SHOCK to me. i was a jayce HATER all throughout the show! mainly because i was jealous with the way he got the baddest bitch in the show mel.. YES IM A HATER! but chileee… when he popped back up with beard… SUMN WAS PURRING 🤪 i’m a slut for mean with beards.
mel, mel, mel… when she first popped up on my screen I was deadass stunned with how stunning that woman was! then when she first started getting with jayce i was like: 🤨😕. i couldn’t believe it. i was also definitely one of those people who shipped her with sevika even though those two NEVER interacted. but yeah her aura was so strong she had me hating jayce. WHEN SHE UNLOCKED HER POWERS OH MY GOD I WAS SCREAMING AND JUMPING FOR JOY! baddest bitch. 😌
sevika was definitely someone else who caught my attention when the show first started! i thought she was THE COLDEST mf they introduced! even when she betrayed vander i was upset a bit, but also at the same time… i supported it??? because she just wants the best for her people! i was literally so pissed she kept getting that vegeta treatment tho… LIKE COME ON!
NOW the only reason ekko is so low on this list is because… most of the people above him they got EXTRA POINTS because i’m attracted to them! ekko is honestly so adorable and just the goat fr! that’s my son fr! little man when he was so small 🥹 MY SON!!! i was having heart palpitations when him, hiemerdinger, and jayce where glitching out during the wild runes scene! MY BOY JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HIS TREE!
the reason jinx is where she is on this list is literally the same as ekko’s! jinx and ekko idk how they are so that’s an immediate “you’re my child and if anything happens to you, i’ll kill everyone.” jinx was also one of them characters that deadass HAD ME DYING! the scene with enforcer not believing she’s jinx, when silco was calling for her but she was too busy jamming, when she jumped sevika and tied her up, asking her sister if her caitlyn fucked before she killed them, almost crashing out when viktor called her powder… THE LIST GOES ON! she an icon, a legend, and she is the moment! 😌
ambessa she had me in the first half, like when she was first introduced! i’m pretty sure if she didn’t end up being an opp… she would definitely be higher on the list! the only thing ambessa got going for her rn is she’s hot! I JUST HATE WAR STARTING/LOVING ASS BITCHES!! like for why! DO THAT SHIT ON YOUR OWN TERF DON’T BRING THAT MESS OVA HEA! also she slapped mel so that DEF docked some fucking points!
now this might be an unpopular opinion… i might get hate for it… i thought viktor was the most boring character on the show highkey fr! IM SORRY IM SORRY! like he had his moments that man is a sassy king… but other than that I didn’t really rock with viktor as a character or as potential boo thing. when it comes to science people… it’s hit or miss for me fr. also… that mf ran a cult 🙅🏾♀️ NO THANKS
HONORABLE FAVS
vander
isha
babette
shoola
lest
claggor
cassandra
HONORABLE LEAST FAVS
SILCO
that rat looking mf
MADDIE
mylo
that guy who was in sevika’s gang who was also licking something or someone
#trinity💭tings#trinityyaps 💬#arcane#arcane vi#vi arcane#arcane caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#arcane jayce#jayce talis#arcane mel#mel medarda#arcane ambessa#ambessa medarda#arcane ekko#arcane jinx#arcane viktor#arcane sevika#sevika arcane
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how genderbending the warriors (2024) is done not for the sole sake of "bad-assery"
okay here we go feminist ramble time for our newest chick on the block: warriors. now i'll be honest, prior to listening to the album, when i first heard that the warriors main girls were originally dudes in the movie and the novel, i thought that the decision for the genderbending, in lmm's perspective, were from the following: 1.) girl power move in like a very basic meaning of the word "bad-ass" 2.) simply a twist on a cult movie about big gang bros loved by the film bros, and 3.) a way to have the schuyler sisters back together gjfkdfldf
but when i read more about warriors and its development and how lmm took inspiration from the gamergate controversies of 2014-2015 aka among the peak of gamerbro misogyny campaigns, that's when i realized that Oh Shit Is Serious - because adapting a story about a group being framed and targeted and harassed for something they are accused of doing without any substantial proof other than a man screaming "THE WARRIORS SHOT CYYYYRUUS" with 21st century misogyny campaigns in mind makes the theme of fighting back a lot more complicated and a lot more resonant, going beyond just marketing a cast you can call "badass"
take the hurricanes' quiet girls, for example. the hurricanes (concept album version) is the only gang that lets the warriors off the hook and with a stern warning: quiet girls don't make it home. here, the hurricanes berate the warriors for not saying shit or attempting to defend themselves from accusations they know well aren't true. THIS MESSAGE IN PARTICULAR is what stays and influences ajax, fox, and swan til the very end of their stories.
literally one song after this does ajax show how easily she resonated with the hurricanes' lesson by finally sticking with her gut and actually choosing to fight back against both the baseball furies AND against the sleazy undercover cop. the latter encounter is one of the instances that really solidifies the recontextualization of the story because in the OG movie, ajax (a dude) WAS the sleazy fuck up harassing a woman in a park - and now with the literal character switch, ajax goes from being just a rebellious gangbro dude bro into someone whose want to fight is warranted. such a want to fight is seen in fox seeing as fox is the first to comment on the quiet girls scene and that, in the concept album, she is the one that instigates the rumble against the police in union square - saying that she is sick of being afraid of them and their 'fuckin powder blue' colors (also notice how she is the only warrior that really does say fuck the cops i think that's cool BUT I'LL TALK ABOUT FOX MORE NEXT TIME)
to a less obvious extent, swan also gets the receiving end of this recurring theme - by the album's finale, the usually violence-averse caution-first interim leader becomes a lot fiercer in protecting her crew. but perhaps among what i consider to be the biggest recontextualized change in the feminist sense is MERCY and her motivations to join the warriors in the first place. according to the wiki, her attraction to swan and the warriors and um seeing the orphans as wimps is what led her to switch sides BUT IN THE CONCEPT ALBUM, mercy's motivation to become a warrior is deepened, rooted in admiration rather than attraction - wanting to be like those women who hold their head up high. and again, we see this in Sick of Runnin' when she takes part in the rumble, finding her bravery within their ranks as they fight back. here, mercy becomes less of a swan tagalong and more of someone that wants what the warriors have: pride.
of course now that i type this out i realize that warriors is not based solely on the feminist rhetoric as with their theme of hope amidst adversity, the story is more intersectional and rooted in community struggle and wanting for more than that. but nonetheless, i genuinely believe that the twt filmbros arguments on why the genders should not have been changed in the first place just for "woke" points is kinda like,,,very shortsighted because not only does the narrative of women narrowly escaping unwarranted accusations actually fucking fit, but the act of learning to fight back amidst all odds - be it that of disbelieving, predatory men or the power of oppressive pigs - stays resonant for women yesterday, today, and the days to come.
ultimately, warriors (2024) is not solely a tale of female badassery - rather, it is a tale of the need for such "female badassery" in the face of past and present realities, which is why it somehow fucking worked.
#believe me i admire lin greatly but i did not think this would work as well as it did#i genuinely thought upon the reveal of the all girl cast that this was gonna be um woo girl power moment and just that#i was not expecting the recontextualization of the plot#eSpECIALLY WITH AJAX AND MERCY HOLY SHIT#i guess less so for swan and fox tho because swan is um character development throughout the show thing#while fox! fox is um look im gonna get right back to u peeps on that#because i an still studying their film version and um gathering my thoughts#because in the film fox was the one that saw luther shoot cyrus#so with cleon now taking that burden#im studying what would this mean for fox in the concept album#but thats a story for another day but in any case#warriors (2024) is not a story solely for selling musical theatre women looking cool as fuck in punk leather#it is ultimately a story of struggle - both in the feminist lens and the intersectional sense#(because gang and grassroot communities and all)#warriors#warriors album#warriors musical#eisa davis#lin manuel miranda
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oh, to be an absolute ten while a repressed belligerent asshole administers to you the kiss of life
#the radiant emperor#she who became the sun#he who drowned the world#xu da#general ouyang#my art#you THOUGHT. you thought. that xuyang would be safe from me well it's NOT#it's not and gang it's probably gonna get worse than this#anyway this is the second render i did for this and i flip flopped a LOT over whether I'd post both#but at the end of the day this one? just looks better#also I'm gonna start putting ids on things bc not doing so is irresponsible and dumb and there's literally NO reason not to do it#click for better quality bc god did tumblr make this look like I drew it across three pixels :))))
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* Kris...Let's go back there tomorrow, alright?
@pscentral event 30: friendship ↳ Kris and Susie: Deltarune Chapters 1 & 2
insp
#deltarune#kris dreemurr#susie#*#userbaz#userlaro#i wanted to do the the whole fun gang but there's not a lot of cutscenes with all of them where they're not just standing#also thought about doing susie and lancer because duh#but OH the two kids who barely know each other and isolate themselves from everyone in their lives to avoid vulnerability#but end up finding escape in the world they created together and UGH#and i didn’t notice until i started watching through the cutscenes#presumably the whole 'kris resisting your control' subplot starts with them ripping out your soul at the end of chapter one#BUT ACTUALLY IT DOESN'T#you know what the first action kris makes by themself even before ripping out your soul#without direction from another character or interaction from the player#IT WAS JUMPING IN FRONT OF SUSIE TO SHIELD HER FROM THE KING#ARE YOU KIDDING ME#THE FIRST THING THEY EVER DID ON THEIR OWN#also the fact that their weapons are LITERALLY EACH OTHER’S COLOR#I'M GONNA ROT
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@meltedmercury jokingly saying princess AU luz is a covid puppy made me DESPERATELY need to go make a Separation Anxiety Compilation, so:
princess luz the covid puppy, with some bonus polyamory....
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and this one COULD be cut off after "this cannot be news to you," but i'm a Big Fan of whatever the fuck lumiter are doing here:
.....one of these days you three are gonna HAVE to DTR.
#this isn't even complete. i didn't pull anything from the camila fic bc i was just grabbing moments i thought of off the top of my head#and the camila fic is mostly about HUNTER'S separation anxiety. which is nearly as bad as luz's.#one thing about me is if i get an opportunity to create a codependent relationship. it's gonna be CODEPENDENT codependent#i did forget just how gay that last amity hunter installment is and it's kind of killing me.#like girl. WHAT are you three doing. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGG#WHAT IS THIS. WHAT ARE ANY OF YOU DOING.#toh#princess luz au#my writing#luz noceda#hunter toh#amity blight#horrible mindscape trauma pals#shitty idiot repression gang#and who is that other witch
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Totally understand this isn’t everyone’s thing, but unfortunately for y’all I love fucked up family dynamics, SO
#my art#described#tw: pseudo incest#SHOULDVE ADDED THAT TO BEGIN WITH SORRY GANG#not gonna put this in the main character tags cus I know it’s uncomfortable for folks#well maybe I’ll indulge a lil with…#sorak#if ur tagging him ur probably acknowledging that he’s their son so lol#I just don’t think spock would like him all that much!! and in doing so repeat the sins of his own father!! raghhhhhhh!!!!!!#or at the very least it takes spock a lot of time to come to terms with that being his son and the conditions he was made under. like a lot.#saavik feels that brief hesitancy then decides that’s not gonna be a thing ever. like no her son is never going to doubt how much she -#- just adores him.#somethin about that hellguard upbringing…#Sorak knows how messed up it is. he’s reminded every time he looks in a mirror or hears his mother call his father ‘father’ too#he knows they’d probably be happier without him - he feels it radiating off his father. but he’s afraid to express how much he knows.#I thought of including the grandparents as well… namely I think sarek would have a heart attack LMAO but I didn’t have as much for them#anywagy
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"Such a massive skull....
It must be hiding an equally massive brain!"
TerukiWeek 2024, Day Five
Hair AND Trauma...
#terukiweek2024#i wanted this 1ne 2 b a little silly#i think its funny that ritsu thought he just had a bigass noggin when he first met him so i played off of that :)#also the trauma is ritsu's raging jealousy of teru's enormous intellect in case you couldnt tell [joke]#AGAIN I THINK ITS HILARIOUS EVERYONE DID HAIR AND TRAUMA CUZ I KNEW I WAS GONNA DO THE SAME THING#ritsu teru friendies is so funny 2 mi. like they are crazee#i like the wig btw guys. like actually its so fun to just draw upwards and have it kinda fizzle out#now im out til birthday day..... gotta work on that 1ne gang...........#mob psycho 100#mp100#mob psycho fanart#teruki hanazawa#hanazawa teruki#ritsu kageyama#kageyama ritsu#implied terumob as always
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coil ch
edit: tumblr stole half of my tags so i put a bad version of the second half of what i was trying to say in my notes :( sorry
#magic and mystery#m&m coil#this one was actually sweet tho#kinda mad that lockhart's getting any credit at all but what can ya do#i think i would be more destroyed if blaise actually killed him#hhow tf did he actually find the chamber tho???#like what could make you guess there???#i hope that gets answered#cant remember how he found out in the hp books either#think he followed them????? maybe???#but he took too long to have followed them in coil i think.. so idk#but it was an incredibly sweet ending#and i like that we got to see ginny's love for chaos form#if allegory writes another year then that year will be insane#especially w/ percy and pansy now in the gang too ??!!#man the gang is going#and again i predicted since early coil that by the end of coil pansy would join the gang#i believed in her#dad snape is back again and thank god too#obviously the pm is gonna mess w/ their relationship#but yk#him getting his name cleared and not being able to do anything abt it im happy but worried abt him going home#how are they even gonna end the year off??? will snape pomfrey and mcgonagall rlly let him go home#theyre gonna have too right??#also the diary is still in play and im concerned#but for now we have a ch ending on a nice note#ALSO I FINALLY GOT MY BLAISE POV ID BEEN CALLING FOR AWHILE NOW#surprised it took this long and that it didnt address things i thought it would#it was good and it made since for him to be thinking like that in the moment#but i rlly want him to atleast address pansy's arm getting broken eventually
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Another ask for the day! :D
How would Fleetway Sonic and Scourge react if Fleetway (Good/Amnesiac) Super Sonic got a girlfriend but that girlfriend is Rosy the rascal from scourge dimensión but she is chill except with scourge and still wants to Smash him with her hammer so Super has to calm down his girl
Ahkjdfasfd Scourge would be furious and outraged. Sonic how can you let Rosy into this dimension!!!! Aren't you worried she'll be a bad influence on Super? Do you want him to turn murderous again, because that's what Rosy will do.
Sonic, of course, would find this fucking hilarious (once he realises Scourge was not the one to let her into his dimension, just because he let Scourge in doesn't mean he's chill with lookalikes of all his friends running around in his dimension) and do absolutely nothing to help. If she posed a genuine threat to Scourge he'd probably step in, but until then, he's gonna sit back and watch the show. He is questioning how the fuck she got in this dimension, though
The good news for Scourge is Super will probably keep her away from him, because the further away she is from Scourge, the further away Super is from Sonic, and he is not exactly eager to be around Sonic at all if he can help it
#sonic the hedgehog#scourge the hedgehog#fleetway sonic#stc sonic#fleet!sonourge#asks#headcanon#fleetway super sonic#sonic is gonna be like 'damn scourge do u wanna invite the rest of your gang into my dimension while you're at it???'#super/rosy isn't a ship i've considered fhdkfj#although tbf i haven't considered most ships with super#except with mighty??? not fleetway!mighty but. prime mighty maybe#that might be cute. super would enjoy having someone who understands the pacifist thing i think#but i haven't thought about that MUCH just in passing#even if i had thought about it i'd probably have to talk about it on my main blog so i won't clog up this blog#super/rosy could be funny though and i do love a funny ship#(obviously. i wouldn't be shipping fleet!sonic and scourge if it weren't for the fact they're so damn funny)
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“a sicks’ dream come true; coming soon to fanfic channels near you”
#presenting my cursed sleep-deprived brainworm of the day: nagisa gets sold to ft4 for uni fees#or well. more like they’re looking for a live-in assistant dude. thing. or sth. idk#and papa shiranami just sells his son off bc ‘hey it’s literal free real estate!!! plus he’s gonna get paid for the entire deal so why not?’#nagisa initially pitches a fit at his dad a la gamushara yelling scene bc ‘dad!!!!!! how could you just sell me off to some strangers?!!!!’#‘shhhh son; think of the free housing. in ✨t o k y o✨. stuff’s expensive there yk’ ‘but still!!!!!’#so nagi sulkily packs his bags and heads out; trying to motivate himself with thoughts of ‘hey at least i’ll get to see hiyori more often’#then he arrives at the train station and sees our favourite 5-man non-idol gang… and promptly passes out#when he comes to… poor guy finds himself right smack in the middle of a hugeass canopy bed#with dai sitting smugly by the side like ‘the great me carried you back mans. you’re welcome ;)’ with a tip of his cool fedora#and that’s when nagi realises that 1) it’s not a dream and that he actually has to live with his oshis now. and 2) damnnnn this bed is soft#cohabitation shenanigans happen. as they would seeing as the entire gang + rio’s niece live together in this oddly huge megu-owned penthouse#plus free bi-weekly vacations to megu’s family villa bc they can never spend a waking moment without each other#and nagi finds it strange that the group is oddly accomodating of his uni schedule when it concerns his job tasks and such…#or that they collab with lxl (hi hiyori!!!) way more than they should typically be…#but he brushes it off when rio asks him to cook with him or sth idk i mean how often do you get to cook with your oshi????#and idk eventually the jig is up and it’s revealed that hiyori was the one who was accidentally behind the whole thing#like a ‘sorry nagisa i told uchida that you’d be moving here too but lxl were there the entire time and they went and got ft4 to buy you’#or something kinda thing. idk. bc everything has to be lxl’s fault; even when they’re just lurking in the bg#i’m def gonna regret this later lmao. it’s almost 2.30 in the am; i have not written in months; and i’ve never read a sold to 1.d. fic ev er#this is the kind of cosmic horror that only sleep-deprived brains can cook up ig…….. oh wells#it is suiyoubi my dudes#the dude from gamushara
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I brewed...
#so i was thinking about things to draw#but then i started brewing lore...#Ryoma turns trash into film and eats it as a snack#kinda tastes like a communion cracker#anyway the gang sees her do this one day#and she tries to defend it by saying that#“its free and its good for environment!”#“if i dont eat it- who will?”#anyway so. obviously theyre like 😦 dude what#methinks Josuke tells his mom and tomoko starts inviting Ryoma over for dinner#essentially Ryoma becomes her second kid sksbsn#also Koichi's mom#obv they get asked why they cant use the money they get from their two jobs for food#ryoma explains that most of their money goes to their uncle bc hes disabled (basically Gadzooks chopped off his arm) and unemployed#But the moms know that Ryoma's uncle gambles.. so theres an inkling of Ryuncles shittyness#gonna call him Ryuncle now its shorter lol#initially the moms thought Ryoma was weird but then they gave them the time of day and now they adore her#gahaha Tomoko chastising Josuke asking him why he cant be like Ryoma#ryoma brings the moms candy from the shop#wah it breaks Ryoma's heart when tomoko and Koichis mom treat her so well because she wished her mom loved her like that#i was thinking of something else but i forgor#ill rb this and add more if i remember
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x
#stuff#i stayed up til 6am last night finishing summer camp fic#gang this thing is 53.7k.#the last chapter needs to marinate for a little bit#and then ill probably have to go through and do a fulllllll reread which is gonna be fun lmao#and then uh. well. then i can post it#it's seventeen chapters lmaoooo we're gonna have a good time besties#oh god now i need to start figuring out the tags and all the chapter titles and everything#oh boy#anyway here's some basic info to tide you over: malum ensemble fic#and by ensemble fic i mean all of 5sos all of atl all of 1d#please bear in mind i started writing this fic three (!?!?!) years ago#at this point the characters in it are literally just characters#they bear absolutely no connection to their real life counterparts#including any. yknow. drama. coughs meaningfully#okay that's all im gonna split now#if anyone has thoughts about an update schedule for once i finally get this fic done for good im all ears#cuz if i post one chapter a week then ill be posting this fic for four months#which is a fucking wild amount of time to be posting a fic. if i do that then ill still b posting the fic when i go BACK to camp this summe#and that would be bonkers#anyway!!! bye!!!#ETA ive actually been writing this fic since may 2020 which means it's been almost FOUR years in the making. that. is. insane.
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Let's see how many anxiety and sleep meds I can take before I black out because I can't deal with being conscious anymore. Everything is fake and nothing is real, the rules are fake, they're made up and they don't matter.
#already took enough that i feel buzzed like i drank#i just wanna not feel like this anymore#i would take any drug that was offered to me right now#might hit up the giant homeless group at the park and ask if anyone wants to fight me#would love to get punched in the face so i can feel anything else#would also love to beat the shit out of someone to feel my fists make contacts with a body#is cool tho nothing to worry about#just gonna be joining that homeless group tomorrow if we can't pay $3000 lmao#i love being alive in this fake world with fake money and fake lines and people that hate other people for just living their life and being#a certain color or having pigments on their skin that make them look different and oh man gotta kill about it#gotta kill em. they look different? kill em#it's the only rational and smart thing to do obviously#you know#it's cool#being alive is cool#it's not fucking pointless it's not like I'm living the exact reason why i hate this fucking world#I'm a product of my environment#and this environment has filled me with so much rage and hatred and violent thoughts and wanting to hurt things#it's cool though#no biggie gang gang bitch#🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙#watermelon-sempai#personalmelon
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you just got transformed into the last drawing you did. how are you faring?
#uuuh#not well 😆#picture this: I am an ex assassin who fell in love with his target that cost a lot of money to find and bring to the comissioner#except I rebelled and broke him out of the dungeons and we escaped and became good friends and then I realised I'm very much in love#but I shouldn't but your friendship seems like the best thing that happened to you#I panic and leave him previously making sure he'll be safe at his brother's and then isolate myself#hiding from people from your former gang of assassins for hire who is after you and is trying to drag you back#you grew uo there and thought it's your family and that chief was your father#but you were just abused and used for money since very young age#you know you just ruined your safe friendship by abandoning him#but you don't know what else to do to keep him safe and stay sane at the same time#random supernatural lady emerges though to fix you#and be like ey yo don't be fucking stupid here let's be autistic together I will teach you how to cope with trauma#you also have a horse best friend so you have to stay around for him#bless the horse#the horrors will end at some point though it's just gonna be a tough fight with your abuser trauma yourself and shitty rich ppl#you're Shtefan my OC 🚶♂️#his character is actually my rant about being indoctrinated into catholic church and religion which hurt me and made me hurt others#anyway 🪦#at least I would be hot and wouldn't have to pay for top surgery and have di—#my art
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If I had a nickel for every time I had a wolfboy OC named Peter Andy Wolf I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, and it's a pity that I've only been able to use that name twice.
#Special thanks to my sister who came up with the middle name#They're not the same character one of them craves hugs like nobody's business the other one will only allow his friend to touch him#One of them wants nothing more than to be human again even though he can't while the other one didn't even know he used to be human#And is rather confused when his curse is broken#One of them is hopefully gonna be an allegory for breaking the cycle of abuse the other one is just a boy I'm putting through the wringer#Oh I just heard Henry's Peter snarl at me going all 'you mean you put me through all this for NOTHING?!'#So that's another of my characters who justifiably hates my guts so much that they tried to break the fourth wall to tear my throat out#Jokes on them i live in a more real plane of reality#Oh and Red's Peter is hunched in on himself#and saying in the tiniest voice that was ever not a whisper 'but i don't want to be an allegory for breaking the cycle of abuse'#So that's... something#Can't believe I made a fictional boy cry before giving him a single line of dialogue#Ah and now my girl Dot has decided to jump in to say 'you would have done it to me. But I don't think I remember how.'#And my boy Fire the sentient Fire has helpfully added 'you didn't give me tear ducts!' in the most fake-cheerful voice Ive ever not-heard#Sally is looking at me with the dissaproving eyes of a little girl who's killed a god before and isn't afraid to kill one again#I don't even know WHEN she killed a god much less how#And when I asked her she said 'you'll find out'#So. I guess that's another thing to look forward to then.#Only one that's left to round out the gang is Grin#but when I sought after his thoughts he was like 'don't look at me my only character trait is that I like falcons and other raptors'#It should be noted that he said that while stroking the crest of one of his falcons#So that's one fake child I haven't traumatized at least
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