#i thought in this day and age people would start to get over cringe culture and harassing people for liking things | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

donnabroadway · 1 year ago

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Millennial Cringe

Every generation talks about the generation under it as if they're the most depraved people to ever walk the earth. Stop it. Every generation has been nasty, this is just the first generation to do it in real time. Every generation has had a piece of technology that the masses thought would end humanity. Even though Motown and early Rock and Roll may seem corny and tame compared to what is online today, let's not pretend that parents weren't losing their minds over the dancing and lyrics. People have been using morality and respectability politics to shame young people since adolescence became recognized and people weren't exploiting young people for their bodies, sexually and for work purposes.

For Millennials to sit online and disparage and misgender an artist that you don't like because you think they're trash, is disgusting to me and unnecessary. I know we don't think the music we listened to wasn't "that bad" but it was. There was a reason why music released in the late 80s, early 90s had a parent advisory sticker on it. The radio and our parents may have played the clean, radio edit version but Lil Kim wasn't on album cover with her legs open because she was singing gospel music. It was "that bad." It's just that it had to be played on radio and the videos had to air on family friendly programing because parents were in the car listening to the radio with their children or there was only one TV, so artists recorded two versions of their singles, one that was completely nasty and raunchy, and one with cleaned up lyrics, that only had a sprinkle of "n-words" and light curses like hell, damn, or ass. That was acceptable but let's not act like it wasn't that bad. The only reason you say it is real "music" when your parents called it noise, is because it's nostalgia and the memories but a lot of it was trash and a money grab. Let the babies have their music and pop culture. We're no longer the target audience and we don't have to like it or the artists, especially since everyone has ear buds and a handheld phone where they can listen to whatever they want.

It is also disgusting how people grow up, get families, have long term careers, become respectable members of society and want to stick their noses up at people and say "I wasn't like that" and while they may not have done the exact thing they're looking down upon, they were borderline hell on wheels back in the day. They may not have done "that" but they did enough that even if they don't agree, they should be quiet. That's why I love family discussions because those elders remember and they are quick to remind and humble. I don't care if Freaknik was started as an alumni picnic for respectable career minded individuals who wanted to relive their college days, it ended with someone's mother shaking their behind on a car and someone's father allegedly inappropriately touching someone. Gen X can try to rewrite history and allege it wasn't "that bad" but there were too many people shaking in their boots when the documentary was announced for me to believe that lie and if Gen X can hide behind youth, why can't Gen Z? It's cool when you do it, a problem when they do it. Got it.

The cycle is being wild and crazy, to either growing up or aging out and subsequently sticking up their noses at the youth and pointing out every mistake and wanting punishment and atonement for sins, to realizing this is the cycle of life and what it is what it is and if everyone else got through it, so will they. There is nothing new under the sun.

Getting called old is a cannon event and retorting back by saying the other person looks old or that you don't look your age, isn't the flex you think it is. In terms of pop culture, millennials are old. We're in our late 30s, and while our face cards may still work but it takes a lot of effort to only be slightly overweight, we're more concerned with responsibilities, making sure we have a roof over our heads, our kids can eat, that we can pay our bills, namely student loans, and still have a little bit left to play with. If we do spend a lot of money on frivolous things, it is only a few times a year, maybe a concert, convention, vacation or something major like a party or social event of the season. Gone are the days when we try to rob Peter and never pay Paul, to look fly and have experiences. Gone are the days when we'd rather have our lights off or eat ramen and hot dogs, for protein, to follow our favorite artists around the country. As much as we love Beyonce, lets not pretend that her audience isn't millennials or Gen X. Gen Z is not checking for Renaissance or anything that she has done past Single Ladies, maybe Lemonade, if we're generous. The peak of millennial pop culture was 2008-2016; Gen X and Xillenial was 1999-2006.

Let's face it, our artists have reached their nostalgia age. Many millennial artists have passed their peak and have either transitioned to a career behind the scenes, retirement, social media/reality TV fame, or nostalgia touring. There are two millennial artists I can think of that still have consistent hits and that's Drake and Chris Brown but Drake has to use younger artists such as 21 Savage and SexxyRedd to sell tickets and records and Chris Brown is played on the contemporary r&b station. I remember when Drake came out, people were telling older artists to retire and now people are calling Drake old to his face and saying he's having a mid life crisis. It's the cycle of life. Even Katherine Heigel, who is in her late 40s, is having to deal with Gen Zers, who are watching old clips of Greys Anatomy on Tik Tok, asking her if she's Izzy Stephens mother. We all get called old. We all age. Some age better than others but we all age.

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years ago

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Into The Unknown, Part 8

First

Marinette had never thought that living in another world would be this hard.

Sure, she had known that she would have issues when it came to the whole ‘she wasn’t technically supposed to be here and therefore needed a new identity’ thing. That was kind of obvious. The story they’d come up with had been simple enough -- she had grown up in Gotham with her parents, was highschool sweethearts with Tim, they had gotten married, he’d moved in with her, and her parents had died so she’d gotten custody of Damian. She was pretty sure Tim had a tragic backstory, but she didn’t really have that memorized yet. She wasn’t all that worried about it, though, she spent quite a lot of time dodging answering questions about her private life as Ladybug. Marinette probably wouldn’t even need to memorize his backstory (she would, of course, because she was nothing if not an overachiever, but she was well aware of the fact that it wasn’t quite necessary).

But, no, it was the small things that made it difficult.

Like affection.

Marinette was Parisian, she was used to greeting people with kisses on both cheeks. Hugs were something reserved for people you were close to.

But, no, Americans just insisted on being backward in everything that they do. And, supposedly, Marinette was American. She could get away with her accent because Gotham had a bunch of different people and it was easy to claim she came from the French part of town, but when it came to customs? No, she had to at least try and act like someone who had lived in America for her entire life.

So, when she was greeted with a hug from the most affectionate of her fellow interns, Marinette suppressed a cringe and patted her on the back awkwardly.

“Hi, Paige,” she said.

Paige beamed. “Ready for work?”

Marinette squinted up at the building. The WE in this universe was even taller than in her usual one.

… or maybe it just looked like that because she dreaded going inside. Ugh. Being an intern was going to suck.

“No.”

“Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”

“Thanks…”

But, despite Paige’s assurances, it did not go fine.

And it wasn’t even the job thing that wasn’t going well. That, at least, she could handle. No, it was this world’s meme culture that sent her spiraling.

She’d been holding exactly nine cups of coffee, seven mugs of tea, and one energy drink can. Marinette didn’t know if it was her time working in a bakery or some sort of latent Ladybug skills or what but it wasn’t even all that difficult to hold them all.

Paige raised her eyebrows at her, looking vaguely concerned. “Do you need help?” She asked, hands already out as if expecting her to say yes.

Marinette cracked a grin. “No. I’m fine. It’s not even that hard. I could probably carry another two drinks, even.”

“Freaky flexing, but fine.”

“... the fuck did you just say to me?”

Tim hummed lightly as he bounced on the balls of his feet, baby sleeping soundly on his shoulder. Marinette fumbled the keys to their new apartment, mumbling curses.

She’d outright told him that she didn’t really care, that she’d lived above a bakery for most of her life so it wasn’t like she would mind as long as the place had counter space…

So why was he nervous?

He felt the tiny hand in his shirt grip him tighter and he looked down. Damian was still fast asleep, sucking on his pacifier peacefully. Tim wondered, idly, how that worked. Was it a reflex that humans lose as they age like the grasping reflex or was it a learned behavior that went away when it wasn’t reinforced anymore?

Marinette managed to open the door, her cheeks tinged red at how difficult it had been, and she swung it open.

He stopped bobbing up and down to watch her face.

But she just shrugged to herself and bent down to grab the box she’d brought up.

He tried not to look too relieved as he followed her inside and watched her set the box down on the kitchen island.

She glanced back at him. “I call cleaning and setting up the apartment!” She said brightly.

“Okay…?” He said, confused as to why she was so excited to clean up…

But then Damian started to stir.

Oh. If she had cleanup duty… then he had…

Baby duty.

Oh.

Oh no.

“Shit, Mari, wait --!”

“Too late! You already said okay!” She said, already heading to the door.

Damian spat out his pacifier and took that one long, deep breath he always took before he was about to scream.

“Mari!”

She stuck her tongue out at him and disappeared around the doorframe just as the baby started to cry.

Tim heaved a sigh and pressed a kiss to the top of the kid’s head. The wailing quieted a little, but didn’t stop. Tim would take it, he hadn’t even been expecting Damian to quiet himself. This was an absolute win in his book.

He glanced at the box that had been brought up but, unfortunately, they hadn’t had enough foresight to bring the baby supplies.

He poked his head out the door and yelled for Marinette to bring up the box with the baby stuff first. She yelled ‘fuck you’ in response but when she came back she handed him the box regardless.

He smiled -- or, at least, he smiled as much as it was possible to smile when a baby was screaming at you -- and went to work figuring out what was wrong.

There was good news and bad news.

Good news was that Damian was starting to learn that crying was okay.

Bad news was that Damian was starting to learn that crying was okay.

And, listen, Marinette obviously preferred that. She wanted to know when the kid was hurt or hungry or even just craving affection… but ugh.

She twisted around in the bed to squint at the clock.

Three o’clock. Great.

She groaned softly and buried her face in Damian’s hair again. “Dami, please, I have work tomorrow. Shhhhhhhhh,” she pleaded. As if she didn’t have to go to work every day.

Damian, of course, didn’t stop crying.

Marinette thought she was going to cry.

Tim pulled his arm from around them so he could cover his ears with his pillow.

She reluctantly sat up. Damian banged his little fists against her shoulder in an attempt to tell her… something. Probably that he wasn’t happy. As if the entire apartment complex couldn’t hear just how unhappy he was.

She changed his diaper and then got him Cow. Hopefully that would sate him for the rest of the night.

She clambered back into bed and sent Tim a weak smile when he wrapped an arm around them.

She scooted toward him, because Damian was reaching for him and his eyes were closed, and tucked her head under his chin. He tensed just slightly before relaxing and tangling his legs with hers.

Damian seemed to like being cocooned between them, because he made a vague happy sound and settled down to sleep without much (more) fussing.

Tim hummed lightly. His voice was terrible, but it seemed to calm Damian so Marinette wasn’t about to complain.

It took a while for Damian to go back to sleep but, eventually, he did. Unfortunately, he fell asleep while biting the crinkly ears of his plush and it was hard to sleep with the steady crkcrkcrkcrk sound right next to her.

From the way Tim’s breathing had yet to slow, he wasn’t asleep either.

Well, at least that was something to do.

“I’m beginning to think the reason babies are so cute is that otherwise we would kill them,” she joked, her voice soft so as not to wake the kid again.

Not that it would matter all that much. She could, unfortunately, not see herself going back to sleep before her alarm went off.

He chuckled and nodded as much as he could with her head beneath his. “Right? I just want one night of good sleep --.”

He stopped suddenly.

She drew back a little to check that he was fine, only to see him looking mildly horrified.

“We need to go back home soon. I’m going to get used to sleeping like a normal person. I can’t do that,” he said.

She grinned. “Oh no. The horror.”

“No, you don’t get it. If I do that then I’ll be giving into my family’s wishes. I can’t let them think they’re right about something!”

She giggled, shaking her head. “Here, I’ll make it easier for you: I don’t want you to sleep. As Dami and I are your only family -- legally -- for the next fifteen years, you must not do what we want. Therefore, you have to sleep.”

“Ah. Reverse psychology.”

“Well, I am a psych major.” Some of the amusement faded. “Was a psych major.”

“... really?”

“Yeah. I dunno. I’d figured it was the closest I could get to being Ladybug again.”

“You’re still Ladybug.”

She shrugged just slightly. “Yeah. I dunno,” she said again. She tried for a grin. “Doesn’t feel the same when there’s no emotional terrorism involved.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to do the same thing over and over again for a million years.”

“There’s some comfort in things staying the same.”

“Oh? Maybe we should trade.”

“That’s an amazing plan that I see no problems with. You get to go around beating up the Meta Of The Week and I’ll stay in Gotham dealing with all the idiots in spandex.”

“Are we switching outfits, too?”

“Oh yeah. Obviously. Gotta commit to the whole ‘switching’ thing. I bet I’ll look cuter in your outfit, too.”

“Ah, yes, because cuteness is the most important part of vigilante costumes.”

“We end up in papers all the time, being cute is totally important.”

He chuckled lightly and she felt the arm around her give her a tiny squeeze. She buried her face in his chest.

“You should try and sleep.”

“Hypocrite,” she teased, but she could already feel her eyelids drooping.

He hummed. She thought that, maybe, it didn’t sound so bad as to make him stop.

Tim had been in the middle of bathing Damian as he always did before bed when he’d accidentally splashed water on his face.

Perfectly fine and normal.

What wasn’t perfectly fine and normal was that the baby responded by saying: “Oh shit!”

Tim’s eyes narrowed.

“MARINETTE,” he yelled.

Marinette was there in seconds. There was some kind of green paste on her face. She’d been in the middle of her usual skincare routine. He thought it was kind of weird that near-immortals needed skincare routines but that wasn’t the point here.

She looked around frantically. “What?! What’s wrong?!”

“Damian just said sh --... he said the s-word.”

Marinette relaxed at that and sent Tim a glare. “Don’t blame this one on me. You’re the one that says that.”

Tim frowned. Because, now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure she was right.

“Now, if he’d said ‘fuck’, that would have been on me, but he didn’t, so --.”

“FUCK,” Damian said brightly.

Tim glared at Marinette again, this time rightfully so.

She looked a little sheepish. “... okay, yeah, that one’s on me.”

~~~~~

@nathleigh @peachmuses @unoriginalmess @hammalammadamdam @astrynyx @laurcad123 @927roses-and-stuff

#my baby cousins are starting to rub off on me #yesterday i said 'im sleepies' in a normal conversation #girl help #into the unknown #maribat #timinette #timari #timmari #shutterbug #ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #red robin #tim drake

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astroismypassion · 5 years ago

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REACTION TO VENUS IN THE HOUSES💖

Credit: Tumblr blog @astroismypassion

This comes from TAURUS VENUS in the 6TH HOUSE female

A while ago a reader of this blog asked me to react to Venus in the houses as well. So coming in hot, Venus in the houses! 🔥

VENUS IN THE 1ST HOUSE

💚the type to boss around their lovers

💚wants someone, who's in a relationship to fight for them and win them over, while being in the relationship themselves

💚they stir up drama, just to test how much they mean to you

VENUS IN THE 2ND HOUSE

💝 “your love can't give my stability, but your money can"

💝 the type to not get in a relationship just because they value stability (mental and finacial) too much and want to spend THEIR money on THEMSELVES, not some lover that might leave tomorrow

💝they WILL hold a grudge towards their ex

💝once you lose them, don't try to ever contact them, because they won't answer

💝 beautiful neck and eyes

VENUS IN THE 3RD HOUSE

🧡they like dates just because they get a chance to talk really

🧡 takes so many trips around the hometown and show their lover around

🧡they don't call their partner "partner", but more like "my talking buddy"

🧡they like relationship solely because someone is actually listening to them now

VENUS IN THE 4TH HOUSE

🤍would very much like the idea of first date happening somewhere intimate and with as little people as possible because they would just like to be comfortable and not cringe

🤍dreams of ice cream dates with their crush

🤍 so nostalgic towards memories of places where they ate delicious food (“do you remember that place where we went for that delicious cake?”)

🤍 doesn’t know what to do with their hands on a date

VENUS IN THE 5TH HOUSE

💛wants to have butterflies in their stomach even after it has been 5 years

💛try to bring them flowers, chocolates all that romance, because they don't want to lose the spark ✨

💛"oh, ok, so now we are becoming one of those boring couples?"

💛they will probably give you concert tickets for your birthday present

VENUS IN THE 6TH HOUSE

💗they keep a mental list of your likes and dislikes

💗loves grocery shopping with their partner

💗gets annoyed when the surprise dinner didn't go according to their plan

💗the type to plan your birthday gift 3 months in advance (and your Christmas too) 😉

💗don't annoy them, or else you're gonna move from their "to-do" to "done" list ✅

VENUS IN THE 7TH HOUSE

💘they pick up on your emotions so easily, so intuned with your emotions

💘you start hanging out with them and they start mirroring your body language

💘"no, I said it first", "yeah, but I thought it first"

💘they are not calling it "resolving our problems", but "you trying to pick a fight"

💘 totally loving, harmonious and chill UNTIL they get into a relationship, then suddenly they become an argumentative person

VENUS IN THE 8TH HOUSE

🔥 the right opposition to love is not hate, but death

🔥 as in you're death to them

🔥 always something profound, transformative happens to the person they start involving with or just before starting to date

VENUS IN THE 9TH HOUSE

💝acting around their crush like there's no tomorrow

💝 flighty

💝 oh did I mentioned?? FLIGHTY

💝they stare into the distance when you’re talking to them

💝 the best person to have culture talks with (about music, art, film, anything really)

VENUS IN THE 10TH HOUSE

❤️they are not accepting any love offers until THEY feel it's the right time

❤️they type to crush on someone for ages and then like out of nowhere one day realizing that it’s *TIME* to tell their crush about feelings but now they are back to self-hating, because they were too late and their crush already moved on

❤️ attracted to age differences and teacher-student dynamic relationships

VENUS IN THE 11TH HOUSE

💙 "oh so you're asking me out on a date??" "no, not really. I think we should just hang out."

💙 the odd friend you like, but is so unique, you don’t know how to approach them

💙 they heard about the trend yesterday

VENUS IN THE 12TH HOUSE

💜forehead kisses

💜so much hand holding, your palms start sweating

💜hand fetish really

💜kiss that ends in a hug is their fantasy

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fantasia-monogram · 3 years ago

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As the clock strikes midnight, part 1

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / epilogue

♥️ Taeyang x reader (nonbinary, female anatomy) x Jaeyoon; mentions of other SF9 members

♥️ Suggestive (~2k words); smoking, mentions of alcohol, (lightly) implied BDSM. Mutual pining. Next part is going to be NSFW (and reveal more about the characters’ history).

♥️ You’re a beast at work, having to be tough to climb up the corporate ladder, but what you never thought of is that your attitude might be intimidating to your long time crush. Luckily, your much more laid back friend is here to help... both of you.

♥️ Disclaimer: this is just for fun! I’m not claiming that’s how they are in real life, it’s just my imagination doing whatever it wants. Read at your own discretion.

“Ah, the exciting world of corporate banking.”

You were too tired to check the time, but one look over the room gave you a clear idea of what kind of stage the party has reached: vast office space, with all the desks pushed against the wall and a long table situated in the middle, was littered with barely-sober people, most of them in groups of two or three. The goal was to let coworkers of various titles and positions mingle in a casual manner, as the fairly young company’s hierarchy and employer count was expanding proportionately to its growth - friendly office culture was a staple in this place. Truth was, after a couple drinks (or, in case of some tougher individuals, whole bottles of soju), everyone would group into their regular lunch break cliques, usually within the same department.

Long gone were the days when the business was much smaller, and it was easier for people from different departments to form close bonds.

Luckily, you remembered them very well, and that’s why, as the party was dying down, you shared a (small and not very comfortable) couch with your two best colleagues: Lee Jaeyoon and Yoo Taeyang.

“Look at him. What a fighter,” Jaeyoon said with a hushed voice, pointing his almost full glass of whisky towards another corner of the spacious room. There, behind one of the squished-together desks, Quality Department leader Kim Inseong was still angrily babbling about work-related statistics to the nearly-wasted Training Supervisor, Baek Juho. The latter, with his forehead propped on his hand, kept waving at his superior to stop, as coherent words would not come out of his mouth at this point no matter how hard he tried. Inseong, incredibly professional yet warm and welcoming when sober, would do a total 180° after a single bottle of soju and turn into a snarky bastard ranting at everything going on in the company.

“Supervisor Baek is holding on strong, though,” Taeyang added in a matter-of-fact tone before taking a sip from his glass.

You couldn’t help but cover your mouth and snort with amusement.

The three of you were an unusual group.

You all joined the company on the same day, and underwent basic training for a couple weeks. Even though Jaeyoon was close to your age, the gap between you and Taeyang was much bigger. Add their impressive height and you had to admit, it was awkward to sit between these two guys every single day. Soon enough though, your small talk during short breaks would turn more and more enjoyable, and when the last week rolled in, as the oldest one, you mustered up the courage to invite them to a nearby coffee shop. Formally, you just wanted to celebrate the end of your training stage, but honestly… You grew fond of them, so there was no harm in getting to know them better away from the workplace.

Who knew the three of you would find common ground during that fateful meeting?

“Hey… Y/n… You there?” Jaeyoon’s voice snapped you out of a trip down the memory lane.

“Yeah. What were you saying?” you asked, a bit embarrassed.

“You don’t seem to be having fun at all. I haven’t seen you around the bar even once,” Jaeyoon ranted, haphazardly shaking his glass.

“You know I don’t drink.”, you stated calmly.

“Aish… It’s a party! No need to be so strict. Am I right?”

For some reason, Jaeyoon looked towards Taeyang with a wicked grin, and you followed. The youngest one, sitting by your right side, cleared his throat theatrically.

“I’ll go get myself another one.” he mumbled, already leaving the couch.

“Don’t overdo it!” Jaeyoon yelled, then turned back to you. “You could really use some percents, though. Just saying.”

“I have an image to maintain,” you said quietly, crossing your arms against your chest.

“You dressed like it’s every other day at work, too,” your friend pointed out, “It’s just a different colour.”

You looked at him resentfully. That’s true, tailored suits were your usual look, not just because you simply didn’t like dresses or skirts. It was the easiest way to elongate your silhouette, and you were already lacking in height compared to all the higher-ups attending company meetings with you.

A powerful look was expected from the Compliance Supervisor who rose to that position in a record-breaking time and was nowhere near done career-wise.

Besides, you had to admit, your neat suits in a whole variety of colors boosted your confidence every single day. You had all of them adjusted, so they would accentuate your figure in all the right places. Oh, all the times you and Jaeyoon would shamelessly ask poor Taeyang who’s got the best ass out of you two (“Okay, forget it. Taeyangie does,” Jaeyoon would end the competition each time, making Taeyang cringe).

"You're just jealous because I look better in red than you do," you barked, although lacking any real bite.

"Listen, what I'm trying to say is…" Jaeyoon leaned dangerously close to your ear. "...I don't mind your uniforms, but someone over there is on the brink of losing his mind right now."

You backed off, wide-eyed. Your friend discreetly threw a glance towards Taeyang, who just came back with his glass refilled.

Still dumbfounded, you kept looking back and forth at each of your friends, not realizing how silly it must have looked.

"Did I miss anything?" Taeyang asked, clearly feeling something went down during his absence.

"Yeah, I just said that maybe we should leave this remnant of a party and move somewhere else," Jaeyoon replied, looking over your shoulder at the youngest.

You furrowed your eyebrows, but ultimately decided his idea wasn't that bad after all.

"I don't know… Wouldn't it be rude to leave so early?" Taeyang mused.

"Seokwoo left, like, at 9," Jaeyoon pointed out. "Way before anybody had a chance to get drunk."

"Ah, our lovely Escalation Specialist," you sighed, talking about Kim Seokwoo, your right hand man at the Compliance Department. "You could say the party escalated too much for him."

"At nine!", the older of your friends laughed.

“What time is it anyway?” you asked. It didn’t matter that you could just check it yourself. You were used to people doing things like this for you around this place.

Jaeyoon, who knew it very well, fished his phone out of his shirt pocket.

“Uh… Fifteen to twelve,” he announced.

Taeyang tapped your shoulder.

"Happy early birthday," he threw casually.

Pleasant warmth rose to your cheeks. You were just starting to smile, your eyes crinkling already, when Jaeyoon jumped in his seat, startling both of you.

"Wait, what?!" he yelled, making a few heads turn for a second or two.

"What kind of a friend are you, really?" Taeyang snorted dryly, "It's y/n's birthday tomorrow."

Jaeyoon let out a sound that could best be described as a happy roar and pounced forward in an attempt to give you a bear hug. You dodged it by moving backwards, thus colliding into Taeyang's side.

You briefly glanced at each other, awkwardly nodding as an apology, before he uttered a quick it's fine and slid further into the couch.

"Hey, that hug was supposed to be a present!" Jaeyoon whined, recovering his dignity after the failure.

"Thanks, but no, thanks." you retorted, staying at a safe distance.

"Okay, but now we really have to go somewhere else. This calls for a celebration!" Your overly enthusiastic companion wasn't giving up that easily.

You turned to your other friend.

"Taeyang?"

"That's enough social interaction for today," the boy in question replied, "One more crowded place and I'll pass out on the spot."

He was known for his introverted tendencies; even at work, he occupied a desk that was a bit further from everyone else, guaranteeing him all the peace he needed, and had only one coworker he was somewhat close to apart from you two.

"What about we go to my place instead? I've got no alcohol, but there are plenty of leftovers for a late dinner if you're hungry," you offered instead.

"Sounds like a plan!" Jaeyoon clasped his hands. "I'll pay for the cab."

Taeyang bottomed out his glass.

"Wanna go for a smoke while we wait?"

As soon as you put a cigarette in your mouth, Taeyang was there to light it. You could swear his eyes lingered on your lips, but maybe it was so late that your eyes started pulling tricks on you.

A good five minutes passed of the three of you smoking in silence, enjoying the cool summer breeze and the sight of a nearly full moon above you. Taeyang was the first to finish, with you following. Jaeyoon was the last to end his cigarette, throwing it into the trash can nearby in a somewhat angry manner.

"Taeyang, I can't possibly imagine a better time to tell them than now."

Both you and Taeyang turned your heads towards Jaeyoon.

"Tell what?" you posed a question, confused.

The guys exchanged looks. After that, Taeyang averted his eyes, while Jaeyoon locked his with yours.

"I think he should be the one to explain." Jaeyoon stated firmly.

"It's fine," Taeyang's voice was unexpectedly weak, "I'm fine with you telling them."

You felt your heartbeat quicken all of sudden.

"He's head over heels for you."

And then, it was as if your heart just stopped. No, that couldn't be. Your pretty, soft spoken dongsaeng you always had your eyes on? In love with you?

"No way." you muttered, turning to face Taeyang. He still couldn't bear to look at you. "Is that true?"

Internally, you were screaming for him to say yes.

Poor guy seemed like he was about to get a panic attack, breathing in and out loudly, hands balled into fists. You could see him biting his lips.

"Come on." Jaeyoon ushered, "I did the hard part for you. Now it's your turn."

Taeyang slowly raised his gaze. His doll-like eyes were glazed over with tears - a sight so stunning it almost made you gasp.

"It's true. It's been going on for more than two years now." His voice was quiet, but steady.

You kept staring at his gorgeous, flushed face, unable to say a word. It was a clue for him to continue.

"I knew I had a chance. I'm not stupid. I noticed you treated me differently than Jaeyoon or any other friend at work. But I also knew your no relationships at the workplace policy and your attitude towards age gaps, and decided to keep it to myself."

Your heart was about to burst.

"I'm just as demanding in love as I am at work," you explained, "I'd ruin you."

Jaeyoon circled you. As soon as he stopped, he put his left hand on Taeyang's shoulder, while his right on yours.

"Tell them," he encouraged the younger guy again.

As if on command, there was fire burning in Taeyang's gaze. You felt it consume you as a whole.

"I'm not fragile," the boy declared, “I want to be ruined.”

You thought you were dreaming, but a squeeze of Jaeyoon’s hand on your shoulder anchored you back to reality, this reality being your crush at first sight confessing to you.

“Your confidence… How strict and relentless you are…” Taeyang went on, his voice breaking, “The tone of your voice… And your suits. Oh, your suits. It all turns me on so much.”

“What a guy,” Jaeyoon chuckled, shaking his head.

Both you and Taeyang decided to ignore him for now.

“I repeat,” Taeyang insisted, “I want to be ruined.”

Despite Jaeyoon’s continuous hold on both of you, you reached towards Taeyang’s face to caress his smooth cheeks with the back of your fingers. That was all he needed to surge forward and plant a brief, fluttering kiss on your lips that still managed to leave you with your head spinning, needing more.

“Happy birthday, y/n,” Taeyang whispered, holding his forehead against yours.

It was only then when you realized you were both breathing heavily, even though nothing had happened yet.

The moment was interrupted by the ringtone of Jaeyoon’s phone. At last, the guy ceased his hold on you to check the device.

“Okay, lovebirds, the cab is here. It’s gonna be a fun night.”

You glanced at Jaeyoon, then locked your eyes with Taeyang’s again. He reciprocated your devious smile.

(to be continued)

#sf9 scenarios #sf9 smut #sf9 imagines #yoo taeyang imagine #yoo taeyang scenario #Another long piece of writing...#Please bear with me #As the clock strikes midnight

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creylune · 4 years ago

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i’ve liked kpop/actively listened to it since 2011, in fact when i started my original tumblr it was a kpop blog LMFAO. that said it’s been so wild seeing how kpop fandom has changed over the past ten years... i want to say that yes kpop fans were deranged back then too but it felt way less insane than it is now since platforms like twitter and instagram are their primary platforms (instead of wordpress, forums, livejournal, tumblr), so everything is instantaneous/real-time/artists do streaming now?? kpop artists are now super accessible to everyone which is nice because yay! spreading of good music and culture, plus higher chances for fans to actually communicate/be acknowledged by their idols. back in my day we only had cyworld/yfrog and sporadic twitter updates, we had to rip audio from youtube or shady looking album download sites, the western world would label all kpop as gay and girly because the men had “guyliner” and long hair/acted cute....

but also 🙃 i think kpop fans now truly do not have brains... an artist can tweet their condolences about another singer dying and fans just kneejerk reply OMG??!??!?!?!@?!@? HUUUUUUUH WHAT WHAT and spam fancams in response bc they literally do not have brains. they’re basically brainwashed cult members lol and it’s only exacerbated by the total commercialization of kpop (STREAM <insert shitty song by subpar group> WE NEED MORE ALBUM SALES) + social media becoming so ingrained in daily life. i will say that people with public kpop twitters/instagrams as their main social media accounts seriously have problems lol. the dedication is admirable and it’s nice that their artists have benefited their lives but seriously... it’s ok to like things a normal amount. or at least restrict it to a private account like the rest of us kpop fans who have shame......

there’s a reason i made a completely new kpop sideblog/twitter and don’t talk about it on my main social media, being a kpop fan is cringe and there’s good reason to not want to associate with any kpop likers because of how infuriatingly annoying they are. spamming/stalking/being brainwashed/being willfully ignorant of everything EXCEPT what their idol ate for breakfast that day, obviously no one with a right mind wants to get near that with a ten foot pole. it’s on a different level from admitting you like anime publicly because at least that deals with fictional characters. i hate anime fans too but they don’t comment on every single unrelated youtube video saying STAN MIKU HATSUNE/ARMY HERE 👇👇👇 LIKE MY COMMENT

(i have a personal grudge against bts likers because i moderate comments on my company’s social media and i swear to god. i want to delete every single bts comment i see)

on a side note/a totally different conversation from this, i really feel bad for kids since they grow up with social media as it is today... it’s really harmful and i could not imagine being a teenager in this day and age. there are so many teens and kids into kpop obsessed with streaming videos/putting things out there online... it’s... just... MAN...

i’ve had these thoughts swirling in my head for the last couple months ever since i re-entered public kpop fandom on twitter and tumblr. that insane™ kpop twitter post just reminded me. stans on twitter are literally INSANE and it’s terrifying/hilarious to observe but only from a safe distance imo. i followed a couple of stans for the chinese kpop idol i like but their tweets are just... SO.... WEIRD. like everyday, like clockwork, they tweet some variation of “minghao is just so special... <insert stuff like the way he looks at animals is so gentle and loving you can tell how good and wonderful he is>” every single day and it’s JUST... IT’S SO WEIRD AND UNCOMFORTABLE LOL. this is coming from someone who’s covered her wall with minghao and has his photo framed on her desk!!! if he has a scandal or something it’s fine, i can just resell all the stuff i’ve bought and move on. but these people 100% worship/are brainwashed and are not well.... stan culture is not healthy unless you’re able to acknowledge how weird it is/the parasocial nature of it all. which of course young kids/teenagers aren’t gonna be able to discern healthily ok anyways i have too many thoughts about this stuff lol

#this is just a kpop rambling post lol #pufftext

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maplerosekisses · 3 years ago

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One thing about antis that will never cease to confuse me is the way they act like things they don't like are just unthinkable.

I started wading into fandom at age 14 in the heyday of ff.net when ao3 was just a dream being discussed in places I didn't know existed. I didn't know anything about fandom culture or history or any of that. I wouldn't find "community" or friends in fandom for another 5 years.

To this day, 15 years later as a grown ass adult, I remain an easily-squicked vanilla kind of person who prefers healthy relationships and domestic kidfic over darker stuff. I can't handle torture or MCD or infidelity and I cringe if a ship just feels like incest to me, even when it's definitely not. I don't even like mafia AUs or A/B/O.

And the first time I encountered content for indisputably incestuous ships, or teacher/student fics with large age gaps, or reprehensible villains being shipped with the heroes, or other very obviously abusive dynamics -- my first and only thought was "ew, no!"

And I didn't click.

(or sometimes I did because morbid curiosity but that's a different conversation)

At no point did I think "WHY would you EVER write this?!?!? What kind of HORRIBLE IRREDEEMABLE PEOPLE would ship these things??? These fics need to be taken down and the writers banned from posting!"

I didn't send them messages about how gross their ships were, never even considered it. I didn't go make ranting posts on message boards about how awful those people were. I was only mildly surprised those fics existed in the first place, and I didn't make assumptions about the character of the writers. When I eventually made friends in fandom some of them liked ships and tropes that I found deeply unsettling and we joked about it!

And I just don't understand where that concept went. How did we get here?

#i don't even know what this is anymore and i should probably draft it but fuck it

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annetteblog · 4 years ago

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Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone.

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??”

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance.

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly.

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

/as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet.

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed.

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience.

P.S. And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian. i like it better and what will u do haha

#jikook #kookmin #what am i even doing here #i'm gonna regret this #long post

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theonethatwatchesalotofshows · 4 years ago

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Ranking every teen drama I've watched

I have gotten really into teen dramas lately, because it's quarantine I can't go out and have fun, but I can still watch other people my age going out and having fun and doing things I don't get to do. Anyway I haven't seen all teen dramas, I was never interested in supernatural ones, so you won't find Vampire Diaries and similar shows on this list.

From worst to best:

The Secret Life of the American Teenager

I will never understand how this show ran for five seasons. It will forever remain a mystery to me. This show is so bad it's good. The writing resembles a wattpad story, Amy's pregnancy is inconsistent (like how was she five months pregnant for like five or six episodes, aren't the episodes supposed to be set a week apart?), the acting is bad (that is not to say that Molly Ringwald or Shailene Woodley are bad actresses, obviously they're not, I'm talking about Amy's sister that has the same facial expression no matter what her mood is supposed to be), some of the views this show expresses are very old-fashioned and damaging (the madonna-whore binary, the fact that they can't even utter the word abortion) and every single male character on this show is a creep and a cheater. I can't believe I watched like thirteen episodes of this. I will never get that time back.

Weirdest moment: "I'm a whore!" "Well, you're my whore." (Was this supposed to be romantic??)

Best moment: none

Glee

This is going to be unpopular and don't get me wrong, I like Glee, but I feel like the writers put much more thought into the musical numbers than the storylines. Again, Quinn's pregnancy is inconsistent (but I'm starting to think TV shows are always inconsistent about pregnancies), the characters don't look like they're in high school at all, the cheerleaders wear their uniforms 24/7 for no reason (Quinn even wore it to her sonogram, like seriously?) the whole celibacy club thing is weird and Mr Schue is a terrible teacher. However, the visuals and the musical numbers are great, Sue Sylvester is iconic (albeit also a terrible teacher) and some of the scenes are really emotional (Kurt singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand made my sister cry) so overall, it's pretty good.

Weirdest moment: Finn praying to grilled cheese (what??)

Best moment: Quinn giving birth to Bohemian Rhapsody, Kurt singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Dawson's Creek

I LOVE their 90s' outfits and Joey and Pacey are really otp material, but I just can't stand Dawson! He got mad that Joey didn't tell him about his mother's affair, as if it was her place to get involved. She was 15! It's understandible she didn't want to get tangled into that mess. He also slut-shamed Jen in a really gross way. He literally stopped talking to her for a day when he found out she isn't a virgin. Why are both Joey and Jen into this guy?? This would've been a much better show if it was called Joey's Creek or Pacey's Creek.

Weirdest moment: the way Dawson's mom confessed her affair to her husband. I don't think any irl human would use this choice of words. Also that scene where Dawson's father was teaching him how to kiss while Joey was watching. Cringe.

Best moment: any time Joey and Pacey are bickering. My shipper heart!

Pretty Little Liars

I loved the book version of this, but the TV version seems way too dramatic. First of all, they romanticized Aria and Ezra's relationship (ewww) and made the whole thing seem much more overdramatic. I don't know how to explain it, I mean the books are also dramatic but the TV show somehow took it to a whole new level. None of the girls look like they're in high school, but I love the way they dress and do their makeup. It's almost as though the writers put more thought into their outfits than storylines. I still loved watching it until Netflix took it off, though.

Weirdest moment: Spencer somehow trying to block A's number from her laptop in the middle of a park and then being confused that it didn't work. Weren't you supposed to be the smart one, Spencer?

Best moment: Haleb in the shower, hiding from Hanna's mom.

Skins

This is a classic. Effy is iconic (I somehow heard about her even before watching Skins) and the musical number at the end of season 1 was out of nowhere but still somehow fit perfectly into the story. I also give this show point for being one of the few TV shows where teen characters are actually played by real life teens. They look their age, talk their age (no "I reject reality" or other cringy lines like that) and aren't unrealistically perfect like characters from American teen dramas tend to be. They look like people you might actually meet in high school. However the show loses points for all the continuity errors (are 8 episodes supposed to be the whole school year??) and the number of unneccessary death/tragic accidents. It seemed kind of over-the-top and unneccessarily dark and brutal at times.

Weirdest moment: Chris's graphic death

Best moment: Wild World

Euphoria

The Gen Z American version of Skins, but with better visuals. Much better. I loved the aesthetic, the colors, the lighting and glitter. Zendaya's a great actress and I give this show points for casting an actual trans actress in the role of Jules. However I find it weird that all guys on this show are complete irredeemable assholes (except of Jules's dad and Ethan that is). Are we supposed to just root for the girls and not the guys? Also I find it hard to believe that any of these characters are actually 16/17. They have sex all the time (yeah teenagers have sex sometimes but on this show they treated Kat as some kind of a chaste nun for being a virgin at 16) and have seemingly no rules and no curfew. It would've been much more believable if they were in college.

Weirdest moment: Nate breaking into Tyler's house, beating him up and then taking a shower. The audacity this guy has!

Best moment: "You did this to me!" and Rue having an anxiety attack on the stage in theater class

Gossip Girl

I know this is also an unpopular opinion, because many claim Gossip Girl is the best teen drama ever, but for me it just got way too soapy as the seasons went on. The first two seasons were believable, even though they didn't really look like they were in high school, but after that it was just more and more weird plot points. I will give this show points for the fashion (I mean Blair's headbands and school uniform inspired a fashion line), the acting ("I killed someone"- iconic) and the choice of background music (Nate and Serena kissing to Paparazzi, Thanksgiving with Watcha Say). Despite the wild twists and turns of events, I just had to keep watching because this show had me hooked.

Weirdest moment: Bart Bass somehow flying off the building for no reason (seriously, what he did there had no logical explanation and defied laws of physics), Dan being Gossip Girl, Bart faking his death and returning more evil than before, Serena becoming Gossip Girl, the affidavit, everyone randomly stopping going to college... there are so many but Bart takes the cake I guess

Best moment: the Thanksgiving flashbacks from season 1, Dan placing a plastic crown on Blair's head

Freaks and Geeks

This is one of the few shows where high school is depicted realistically. It's not all glitter and parties and not everyone has sex and does drugs. Okay, I admit, the bullying was over the top and it was weird how no adults cared but other than that, it was pretty spot-on. It was emotional without being too dramatic and far-fetched and also had funny moments. Yes some of the characters may have been stereotypes but at least the show seemed self-aware of that. It's truly a shame we only got 18 episodes of this show, while The Secret Life of the American Teenager somehow got five seasons??? I don't get it.

Weirdest moment: when Cindy suddenly got super mean once she started dating Sam

Best moment: Daniel showing up at Kim's doorstep, Sam breaking down in tears in the end of 'Garage Door'

Gilmore Girls

I'm not sure this one counts as a teen drama, maybe it's more of a dramedy but I'm still including it here. It's funny, the dialogue is witty and full of obscure pop-culture references and the relationships between generations complex. Same as with Freaks and Geeks, the portrayal of high school is pretty realistic. Characters are shown studying and taking tests and not just partying all the time. However the show loses points for getting weirdly soapy in the 7th season. The dialogue wasn't as good and the camera angles were soap opera like and the storylines weren't very good either. You could really tell the show changed show-runners. The earlier seasons are the best. It's hard to explain but something about them feels cozy like a warm blanket and a cup of hot chocolate on a rainy day.

Weirdest moment: Lorelai marrying Chris and then making the whole "you're the man I want to want" speech, Lorelai defending and loving Dean for no reason

Best moment: Rory's graduation speech, Rory yelling at Chris and calling him out for not having been there for her, Then She Appeared, "Yes Emily, you may go first"... there are so many!

#teen dramas #the secret life of the american teenager #glee #dawson's creek #pll #skins #euphoria #gossip girl #freaks and geeks #gilmore girls #i would've included the oc but i havent seen enough of it yet

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peachcitt · 4 years ago

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okay, so style reference you say? I'm 👀

YES STYLE REFERENCE I SAY

this is going to be. a very long post i think with probably a lot of tangents and probably with a lot more thorough explanation than you could ever want but. here we go

because all of my theory/explanation posts end up So Long, i like to organize myself by keeping myself to a structure, and i also like to think if i put stuff in sub categories with bolded titles, people reading can skip ahead to the stuff they want if they're low on time or don't feel like slogging through everything. so here's the structure of the official Peach Style Reference Narrative

1. Early Days - how i started writing, my early inspirations, origins

2. Current Days - discussions of current style references plus examples and comparisons, discussions of original content versus fan content

3. Future Days - where i expect my writing to grow, trajectories i want, conclusory thoughts

without further ado, let's get into it!

1. Early Days

like i mentioned on the discord server, ive been writing creatively for. a very long time. i just turned 20 (like. literally today. we love to see it) and that seems very young, but i remember writing creatively when i was maybe six or seven, and before that i played with dolls a lot, which meant every day i was creating little narratives for myself. in addition to this - and this is probably why i started writing so young - i was (and am!) a very avid reader. i was that little jerk in elementary school reading chapter books and going into the older kids' section in the school library because i'd already mentally surpassed the books in the section meant for kids my age. so, basically, ive been writing for maybe 13 or 14 years at the least.

when i was young, my favorite books that i remember trying to copy in my own stories were: the magic treehouse books, harry potter, and percy jackson.

the magic treehouse

i honestly could not tell you which magic treehouse book it was, but i remember reading a specific magic treehouse book where the magic lady that left the treehouse for the kids sends the kids (jack and annie??) a note in distress, and she didn't get to finish signing her name because whoever had gotten her had interrupted her. it had been printed in the book with the ink on her name running.

i could not tell you anything else that happened in that book, but i can tell you that at some point in time soon after i read that book i started writing a story with an interrupted letter just like that. i loved the drama, the mystery of it all. i wanted to do something that was a little scary like that, a little exciting.

harry potter

harry potter isn't much of a style reference, but it was a huge impact of my childhood. truth be told i kind of hated the books when i was really young because i grew up watching the movies, and when i tried to read the books when i was in elementary school, the teenage angst that hits about book 5 simply Did Not make sense to me. i also find the language of harry potter to be super cumbersome, and sometimes it feels to me like the books are long just for the sake of being long. they have a huge cultural impact, but i feel the same way about harry potter's style as i do about dickens. cool and interesting, but, like, could you get to the point already? (and also my opinion of j.k. rowling has steadily been growing worse and worse over the years, for obvious reasons. harry potter is nostalgic for me, but i can't look at it now without thinking about it critically, which really lowers my opinion of it)

however, you could probably call my first fanfiction a harry potter fanfiction. i started it when i was maybe six or seven, and it was a rewrite of the chamber of secrets with my childhood best friend as the main character (she didn't know about it, i just had her as the main character because i thought she was cool). i of course never finished it, but harry potter probably did a huge part of planting that seed of magic in me. everything i want to write included some form of magic - although my perspective on what can be considered magic has steadily expanded over the years.

percy jackson

of all my childhood "style references" that still influence me to this day, percy jackson has got to be the biggest. for starters, it's magic. second, it's main themes are about friendship and family - things that i like all my stories now to always include. third - and most important - is the narrative voice.

in terms of narrative voice, percy has a huge personality. he's witty and snarky, but also very thoughtful and poignant. a lot of my early writing was in first person, and it's probably because of percy. also, percy jackson was the first fandom i really got into, and it was the first media that i started officially writing and posting fanfiction for. percy's voice is so clear and hooking, and i wanted to be able to write something funny and real like that.

also - chapter titles. the original pjo series is famous for its weird and hilarious chapter titles, and even though i didn't really start writing fics or stories that were long enough to need chapter titles until a while later, i loved the idea of putting in a chapter title that would make a reader laugh, or maybe even make a reader feel a little apprehensive about the events to come.

but back to percy's narrative voice. i loved that style, almost conversational, so much that i started thinking like it. when i wasn't doing anything, like walking home in middle school, i often found myself narrating my life in my head like percy would, trying to find that humor and spark in my every day surroundings. i still find myself doing that very often, but not necessarily in the classic pjo style. now i narrate everything in my head a little differently, but that practice narration in my early days really helped my shape my voice, i think.

other series i read when i was younger include: a a series of unfortunate events and the name of this book is secret. i don't remember seeing a lot of influence in my early writing from those books, but i definitely think the styles of those books hit me a little later, which i will talk about in the next section.

but, yeah. these were the big three of my childhood. i also read a lot of ya romance, children's mystery books, princess stories, and various types of fantasy, which i think you could probably tell from the genres i like to stick to now. except i don't write a ton of mystery because, as much as i admire the complicated plots, im not sure if i'd have the patience to plan all that out.

in terms of the rest of the genres, a ton of my earlier writing included classic ya romance and fantasy tropes - chosen girl, love triangles, angsty overpowered teens, etc etc. even though those kinds of stories are not necessarily the kinds of stories i want to write or read now, i think my early writing of those kinds of things was really valuable. it's kind of a dirty secret with finished or unfinished works generally considered 'cringe' - often that writer is a new writer, or they're trying something new, or they just haven't found their voice yet. all of those things are perfectly okay and normal, and a lot of people in the writing community preach that kind of thing, but i don't necessarily see people cutting new writers slack in actual practice. writing "overrused" tropes isn't cringe, it's normal, and, besides, what trope isn't overrused? people have been writing and telling stories for thousands of years - nothing is really new. what matter is that someone new is telling the story, and that's what makes it valuable.

so, yeah, a lot of my childhood writing is cringe to me now, but i wouldn't be where i am without it.

with that being said, let's actually look at where i am now

2. Current Days

im going to break this section down into two parts, sort of: original fiction and fanfiction. because i think both of these things have become really important to me, and i don't believe i personally could exist as a writer without one or the other. it's a symbiotic relationship.

we'll start with fanfiction.

my relationship with fanfiction is relatively positive in online spaces: i write what i want to see from media that i like, and i have fun doing it. i also get some comments on my fics by lovely people that detail exactly what they like - some even go so far to talk about narrative style, voice, or tone - and that's really helpful. generally, i see fanfiction not only as a fun hobby and vent space for my strong positive feelings about certain media, but also as a place for me to try new things, experiment, and earn positive feedback.

i don't often share my original fiction online (and if i do, never at the same scope as my fanfiction), so i don't get that same opportunity to see what "works" with readers. fanfiction gives me the space to see that, and i apply new knowledge ive learned to my original fiction. that's what i mean by a symbiotic relationship.

in terms of specific style references for specific fics (which is what i know you probably most want to see), i'll try my best to pick them all out and give specific examples.

those benevolent stars and i am the messenger by markus zusak

in my favorite book list, i saw you mention tbs, so i'll start there. to be honest, i had no idea what my style reference for tbs was when i first saw your tags, and i almost didn't think there was anything specific. style references are a bit sneaky like that - if you've been referencing for someone for a long time, it becomes less of an intentional reference and more of just a you think, so it gets harder to tell.

lucky for this post, i just finished doing my yearly reread of zusak's i am the messenger, and as i was reading, i noticed a few spots where i was like wait hey i remember doing that.

for starters, iatm has been my favorite book for about six or seven years now, so i would say that some aspects of my style certainly comes from zusak because of how much i love iatm but also his other books. zusak has this huge talent for writing short, punchy sentences that convey so much in just a few words, and i think i've ended up trying to do that in my own writing. often, in my writing you'll see fragmentary sentences such as "He stopped. Blinked. Looked at her." that's not from anything specific, but i know ive written something like that maybe a million times over. zusak doesn't do the same thing - often his fragments are jam-packed with imagery in a way that mine aren't - but there's a thoughtfulness in his fragments that are in mine, too. a sort of pause. a hint that there's thinking happening in the narrator or a certain character. for example, i did a quick flip through of my copy and we have:

"We stare across the table.

Just briefly.

At each other." (I am the Messenger, p.144)

so you see how my common sentence fragment of "he stopped / blinked / looked at her" tracks with a fragment like this? i like the way zusak broke up sentences to make you dwell on them a little longer, consider the importance of each section, so i started doing that wayy before i wrote tbs i think.

also, at the time i wrote tbs, i think i was in the process of, or had just finished doing my reread of iatm, and, like i said, zusak loves imagery. tbs is a very imagery-heavy fic. tbs was influenced by a lot of music - a lot of the scenes have very specific pieces of music that i wrote imagining the tone and vibe of. iatm also references a lot of outside media sources, mostly music and films.

there are a couple of scenes in tbs that i think i wrote specifically mimicking or accidentally referencing from iatm. for example, we have this scene in tbs:

"It was almost like he could feel Marinette’s eyes on his back, steady and gentle. 'But you still love her.”

'Yeah,' Adrien said quietly, 'I still love her.' His eyes moved along a streak of purple that bled into a dark blue. 'I hate her a little bit, too.'

Marinette was silent.

He turned around, giving her a smile." (Those Benevolent Stars, chapter 3)

and this scene from iatm:

"'Do you hate me, Ed?'

Still stupid with bubbles and vodka in my stomach, I answer. Very seriously.

'Yes,' I whisper. 'I do.'

We both smack the sudden silence with laughter." (I am the Messenger, p. 233)

obviously there are differences, and i don't think i did it on purpose, but the interaction is very similar. i love the gentle intimacy of that scene in iatm, that weird complication relationship between the main character and the person he loves, the hurt, the brushing it off with laughter. so i wrote a scene that incorporated those things

zusak is also really good at writing moments of quiet into his books that aren't necessarily important to the plot, but are still important. if you've ever read that ghibli meta post talking about the 'quiet' between scenes in studio ghibli scenes, meant to give both the audience and the characters space to breath, it's like that. nothing in iatm is not imporant - it all serves a purpose, even the quiet moments, and i try to do the same thing. there's moments like that in tbs i think, like:

"Marinette gave him a small smile before turning back to her ice cream. Adrien tried to eat his ice cream a little faster, licking up where it had dripped onto his hand.

They were quiet for a while longer, and Marinette finished her ice cream. She leaned back on her hands and looked up at the dark sky, littered with stars.

He could see them all in her eyes, too." (Those Benevolent Stars, chapter 3)

and in iatm, you get scenes like:

"Our feet dangle.

I watch them, and I watch the jeans on Audrey's legs.

We only sit there now.

Audrey and me." (I am the Messenger, p.120)

so i definitely think tbs is a very i-am-the-messenger/markuz zusak-inspired fic. there's a lot of zusak's quiet, and there's the pieces of zusak's style that i've picked up along the way that really shine in tbs

tomorrow and this body's not big enough for the both of us by edgar cantero

ive talked about cantero a few times recently, but, as you've probably noticed, in relation to my fic called 'tomorrow.' i wrote tomorrow pretty soon after reading this body's not big enough for the both of us, and i used tomorrow specifically to experiment with cantero's visual writing style. in all the books by cantero ive read, there's this kind of hyper-awareness of a film gaze - how a certain scene would be shot on a camera, dialogue as script writing, and other things like that mixed with prose. i thought it was fascinating, and after finishing this body, i really wanted to play around with that idea. so i wrote tomorrow keeping in mind a "film gaze." for example:

"Two figures sitting on a rooftop, silhouettes. The moon hovers over them carefully, a crescent afraid to break the silence. One of the figures takes a breath, looks up into the sky at the hesitant moon, and he sighs. He closes his mouth again." (tomorrow)

versus in cantero's work, where we get descriptions like:

"And then, like a high-heeled coup de grace, she arrived.

She paused briefly outside the door, her hourglass silhouette cast upon the glass panel with the fresh shiny vinyl letters" (This Body's Not Big Enough for the Both of Us, prologue)

the tone of the two excerpts are very different, but there's a very visual sense to both of them, like they are being described from a shot in a movie rather than a regular work in prose. in tomorrow i also work a lot with specific camera imagery - saying where the camera goes in the scene, what it focuses on - and this body doesn't do this too much, but cantero's meddling kids does at least once that i remember.

regardless, after finishing this body, i wanted to try my hand at the visual structure that cantero uses in his works, so i really leaned in to the idea.

chat noir's white french man hit list for feminist purposes and grasshopper jungle by andrew smith

this is, as of right now, the most recent fic on my ao3, and i started it the literal day i finished grasshopper jungle. i think you might be getting a theme here - i read a really good book, and then immediately after i start writing something. the easiest way to get inspired as a writer is to read.

chat noir's hit list is a fic that is very much aware of the fact that it is a story being told - you don't know by who or for what real reason until the end, but it's a self aware sort of story. it's also very snarky and sarcastic, and it expands past just the confines of its own story; it's about chat noir and his hit list, but it also talks in depth about emilie agreste, chat noir's relationship with ladybug, and his relationship with himself. this is very much the kind of thing that you would find in an andrew smith book - grasshopper jungle is a story being told to you, and it's also about more than just the original pieces of the plot. the narrator tells the story that expands past regular confines of the story he means to tell - he's telling the 'history' of his life and his town, but he also talks about his great-great grandfather, the origins of the ketchup his girlfriend's dad eats, and what's happening in other parts of the country as he and his best friend are hanging out. the line in chat's hit list of "stars exploded, the sun did not, life continued on" was very much a grasshopper jungle and andrew smith-inspired line.

at the end of adrien's narration in chat's hit list, he says:

"It should be mentioned at this point in time that this story is not over, although I’ll stop telling it here.

So that’s the story of Chat Noir, who is also Adrien Agreste, who was very much a normal boy, except for the fact that he wasn’t. It’s a sad story, but it is also a happy story, and it is highly confidential. I’m sure you understand." (Chat Noir's White French Man Hit List for Feminist Purposes)

and at the end of grasshopper jungle, as the main character is closing out his narration, we get:

What I have written here is not the history of Eden. It is the history of the end of the world. All real histories will be about everything, and they will stretch to the end of the world.

The end of the world started when Andrej Szczerba slid into the cold sea as his boy, Krys, watched and wept and drifted closer and closer to the United States of America.

Nobody knew anything about it." (Grasshopper Jungle, p.382-3)

It's not overtly similar, but the structure is the same: recognition of the end, short summary of where we started and left the story, tag phrase that was used prior in the work. when i was writing the end of adrien's narration, i didn't mean to mirror grasshopper jungle so closely, but sometimes things just happen that way - honestly, so many of the things i do in my writing aren't intentional, they're subconscious. when i make a conscious choice, it's related to plot or to a new strategy im applying to style or voice that i'm not used to, but a lot of the things i do fly under the radar in my brain unless im purposefully trying to piece them apart like i am here.

i will say the meta-story of chat's hit list was pretty directly inspired by grasshopper jungle because i love meta stories, and i like using opportunities to put them in. i just love the idea of reading a story of someone telling someone else a story, which is what the two books by andrew smith i've read have been, and i think that's just fascinating, which is why i used it here.

ive gotten a couple of comments on chat's hit list that liken the narrative style to pseudonymous bosch's the name of this book is secret and lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events, which i thought was really interesting, because i was purposefully trying to make the voice an impression of andrew smith's voice adapted to the tone of ml, but i could definitely see their reasoning.

andrew smith, like i mentioned before, likes specifics - what exactly people were doing at certain times, where a specific bottle of ketchup came from, etc. from what i remember of the name of this book is secret and a series of unfortunate events, i remember the descriptions included in those books chock full of highly specific, snarky details that aren't truly necessary, but do a whole lot in terms of adding a certain flavor to the narration. i won't try and look up examples from unfortunate events and the name of this book, but here are a couple examples:

"See, the thing about Emilie Agreste, formerly Emilie Graham De Vanily, is that she was what could be generously called a ‘radical.’ Born in 1969, like most amazing and world-altering things, Emilie Graham De Vanily grew up in London alongside her twin sister, who is a nice enough woman and who is not really that important to this story, and she was raised with the firm and gentle hands of people who had witnessed war and cruelty and had found that they did not like at all. Emilie Graham De Vanily grew up learning about the true history of England, which is not a very nice history, truly, and she grew up knowing that people with white skin like her were historically not all that great. That, historically, was a very radical thought." (Chat Noir's White French Man Hit List for Feminist Purposes)

from chat's hit list, and this:

"In 1905, being seventeen years old made you a man. In 1969 when hungry Jack fought in Vietnam, seventeen years old was a man. My brother, Eric, who was somewhere in Afghanistan, was twenty-two.

Krzys Szczerba came across the Atlantic with his father. They planned on working and earning enough money so Krzys's mother, brother, and two sisters could come to the United States, too. People who did that were called Bread Polacks. They came here to make money." (Grasshopper Jungle, p. 68)

from grasshopper jungle. once again, obviously very different, but you can tell im playing around with that same feeling of giving a surplus of facts in my narration in the same way that andrew smith does. you can't really tell in the grasshopper jungle excerpt, but oftentimes the surplus of 'facts' serves almost a comedic effect, which is definitely something that you can feel in chat noir's hit list.

[REDACTED] and six of crows by leigh bardugo

as a reward for sticking around through this, i'll give out something fun here. the current long fic that ive been working on recently has proved to be very bardugo-inspired, particularly six of crows-inspired.

in six of crows, bardugo gives us action right off the bat and then integrates flashbacks into lulls of action so that there's never truly a dull moment. i found [REDACTED] to be a fic where i wanted to use flashbacks in a similar way, so that i would get something like:

"She doesn’t stay for the whole parade, but she stays for enough of it. Nothing unusual happens, just like always, but she still makes cursory patrols around the city, ending up at the Eiffel Tower, just like always. She sits on the railing way up at the top, and she crosses her ankles, swinging her legs back and forth and humming softly to herself as she watches the sun set.

'Little kitty on the roof, all alone without his lady,' he used to sing when he’d gotten back to their meeting point from patrolling his half of the city before her. It was just a silly little song, one that he’d clearly made up for himself."

It didn’t hurt until he’d been akumatized, and she’d seen that one version of the future - the one where he’d destroyed the whole world because of Gabriel Agreste. She’d seen him then, a lonely figure in white, humming his little song to himself. Who knows how long he’d been like that before she’d been transported to him, how long he’d been really and truly alone. (REDACTED, chapter 1)

and in comparison, we get a lot of scenes in six of crows like:

"Kaz leaned against the ship's railing. He wished he hadn't said anything about his brother. Even those few words raised the memories, clamoring for attention. What had he said to Geels at the Exchange? I'm the kind of bastard they only manufacture in the Barrel. One more lie, one more piece of the myth he'd built for himself.

After their father died, crushed beneath a plow with his insides strewn across a field like a trail of damp red blossoms, Jordie had sold the farm. Not for much." (Six of Crows, p.205-6)

bardugo uses most of the flashbacks during a time in which the main characters are on a long sea voyage, which means they have a lot of time to reflect on their pasts and what brought them to these situations - it's a smart way to fill the empty space of the sea voyage and to really dwell on how important the voyage is. in a similar way, i chose to use the flashbacks in dull or lulling moments in the events of the story, ones in which marinette lets her mind wander or sees something that makes her remember something specific.

however, here's a situation where you can see me adapt the style into something that makes more sense for me, personally: in my excerpt, the tense changes between the current events and the flashback events, while in bardugo's excerpt, the tense stays the same at a comfortable past tense. when i was writing my fic with the flashbacks, i thought the constant, sometimes abrupt, switching would get confusing, so i made sure to always have a clear line using the past and present tense that readers could consciously or unconsciously take notice of.

so there are a couple of instances within some fairly recent fics i have that have specific callbacks to specific books. there are a whole bunch more, i think, but these are the ones that ive played around with intentionally the most recently or the most often.

3. Future Days

based on my recent rapid experimentation in fics (the most recent four fics on my ao3 have been very experimental in comparison to most of my works), i really anticipate a lot of growth in my overall style. ive been having a lot of fun experimenting and throwing in things that a few years ago i would've never even thought of, so im really excited to see where that might lead me, style wise.

i think as a writer there's always room for growth and learning, and that kind of growth and learning comes from not only practicing writing, but also reading. i cannot stress enough how valuable and impactful reading is on writing. considering ive been trying to read a lot more than i have been in recent years, it makes a lot of sense that ive been making a lot of weird decisions and learning more about what i want to see in my own writing.

honestly, if you ever want to know about any of my other fics, or you want to see how this kind of thing translates to my original works, just shoot me an ask! this post is already long enough, so i think i'll go ahead and end it here, but just know you can always ask questions<3

thank you so much for asking me this question and letting me indulge, and thank you for reading!!!<3<3<3<3

#ask #miabrown007 #writing #writing meta #writing style #writing style reference #my writing meta #this took. actually i will not say how long this took because i do not want to hurt myself that way #just know that this took a while. did it need to? fucking no absolutely not you didn't ask for something this long i did this to myself #this is why i didn't answer this for a couple days btw i wanted to take time to actually sit down and write down a thorough post like this #for you and i didn't have the time when you first sent it #technically i should not have had the time today but that sort of thing doesn't count in the middle of the night #happy birthday to me im giving myself a super long meta post where i info dump about some of my favorite things #also you did not. you did not ask for writing or life advice and yet i also gave that. im sorry it just happens i don't know how to stop #im so tired. i have class tomorrow (today) my cat's being a little piece of shit. we love to see it #thanks so much for asking this and i seriously mean it when i say you can ask any time #i obviously didn't go over the majority of my fics and most of this was done off of memory alone #(in terms of my own fics. the books i had to flip through to find the quotes i wanted)#so if you have any more questions about a specific fic don't hesitate to ask!! that goes for everyone btw #anyway now i have to pay attention to my cat and then go to sleep goodnight love y'all

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ikingsley · 4 years ago

Text

Ina x MC: Sabbatical (Part 2)

Second part of the Sabbatical Series. Read the first part here: Sabbatical (Part 1).

Summary: Ina hears about Luna’s accident and tries to do something about it.

Warnings: I’m gonna call it angsty fluff. But I guess more angst than fluff.

Tag: @samanthadalton @domakir @kulaykape @hellyeah90sbaby @dopeyouth @kwaj05 @thedaft1 @swimmingshoebakerydreamer

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.

Author’s Notes: Yes, this was going to be a two part series, but then I had an idea and well, it got long. It’s probably going to be 3 parts now. Sorry, @kwaj05! This is what happens when you ask for angst.

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A couple days had passed. Ina still hadn’t heard back from Luna. She was a little disappointed that Luna hadn’t answered her, but she figured Luna was busy and had other priorities. Instead of focusing on her heartbreak, Ina immersed herself in her work.

Admittedly, Ina enjoyed New Orleans. It was a weirdly quaint, but big city. She started her mornings at Cafe Du Monde with a large coffee and a beignet. She read the news, sipped her coffee, observed the people around her and then made her way to work on her research. She strolled through the streets, analyzing the French influence on culture, behavior and life. The first-hand experience she was gaining would be a big boost for her career. Then, each dusk she would return back to her hotel and write bits and pieces of her paper.

Most of the time, Luna was just a side thought. But there were times she couldn’t help but remember Luna. She’d see constant reminders of Luna and think Luna would want this or Luna would do that. Then she’d go down the rabbit hole, imagining what Luna was doing at the time, or reminiscing on their time together. Ina made no attempt at getting over Luna, mostly because she believed that their separation hadn’t been official. She only wondered if Luna had gotten over her.

This morning began just like any other morning. Ina got up and went to Cafe Du Monde and unlocked her phone to read the news. Then she got curious about Belvoire and the drama between Poppy and Luna. She looked around and made sure she recognized no one. The T was a funny source, but it was probably one that a professor shouldn’t have frequented. Belvoire drama was basically her scoop of reality television and mindless entertainment. She typed up ‘The T’ into the search engine and clicked on the link. The rankings were the first thing that popped up. Poppy first then Luna...Then she clicked on the ‘Search’ tab of the website and typed up ‘Luna Garcia.’ When she got to the title of the latest article concerning Luna, her jaw dropped open and her eyes watered.

“Poppy’s Nemesis Injured in Car Accident”

Ina quickly skimmed the article. It outlined Luna’s accident and how she’d been taken to the New York Presbyterian Hospital. At the end, it wished for her speedy recovery.

Ina’s heart shattered. She should’ve been there. She then looked at the date of the article. Saturday. 1/16. The same day she’d left to New Orleans. Guilt consumed her body. Had Luna been trying to reach her? Had she gotten into an accident because of her? No. No. No. It couldn’t have been. It must not have been.

Ina was normally stoic and unemotional in public rather than a sappy mess, and she was far from a crier. But this pushed her over the edge. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. She slammed her hands on the desk attracting the unwanted attention of patrons around her, paid for her coffee and beignets and walked towards her hotel, ignoring the stares of the passersby. Her tears ruined her makeup, but she couldn’t care less. Luna was the only thing on her mind. And she needed to get to her.

Ina booked the next flight out of NOLA, sabbatical be damned. She would face any and all possible repercussions later.

She had to wait a couple hours before the flight so she went back to her hotel. Ina pulled the covers over her, rocking back and forth like a baby. Her tears stained the pillow, creating a soggy mess. She was worried sick for Luna. The woman she was madly in love with, the woman she hurt. She needed Luna to be okay. She needed to be by her side. She needed to see Luna smile again, at least one more time. She needed to hold her hand. She didn’t know what she’d do if she didn’t have the opportunity to tell Luna that she loved her once more. She only wished that when she told Luna she loved her, that Luna could hear and understand her. Ina, even though she was not pious by any means, fell asleep, praying that she would be blessed with a few more moments with Luna.

Ina boarded the plane in the evening, wearing uncharacteristic sweatpants and a hoodie. She opted for sneakers rather than her famous high heels. She also realized there was no point in wearing makeup. Often times, she just burst into tears unprovoked, effectively ruining any makeup she had put on. Her brain still filtering through all the things she felt, and she realized how deeply in love she was with Luna. She was everything she could ever want in a woman - gorgeous, brilliant, clever, attentive. Luna was damn near perfect in Ina’s eyes. And in retrospect, she took Luna for granted; Ina realized how lucky she was to have Luna. Her heart ached to see and have her again. She yearned for her touch, her smile, her laughter. And if Luna were gone, Ina didn’t know what she’d do.

Then she began worrying that Luna may not want to see her again. She worried that Luna would blame her for the accident. The saddest part was that it could be true. And Ina would never be able to forgive herself if Luna couldn’t forgive her.

But even a bigger worry was if she couldn’t talk to Luna again. What happens if- She didn’t even want to think about it. Her last conversation with Luna could not be a fight. It just couldn’t.

“I know that look. Young love?” an older gentleman had asked.

Ina was brought back to reality. She nodded slowly.

“I was once in your place. My advice: don’t let her go once you have her. Cherish every moment you have with her. Be with her through the good and through the bad. Love her and appreciate her endlessly. You never know what life will throw at you from one day to the next,” he reflected.

Ina mulled over his words. She decided that when she got through to Luna, she’d never let go.

Ina felt like she was trapped on the plane for forever. Finally, the pilot announced its arrival at LaGuardia. Ina’s heart raced. She couldn’t get off the plane fast enough. Ina ran down the airport’s vast area, knocking several items, including people, around her. Most of them were tourists who just remembered that New York citizens had the reputation of being rude. She hailed a taxi and ordered the cab driver to take her to the hospital. It was then when she noticed how out of breath she was, but she needed to be with Luna.

Ina almost left her bags in the cab in her rush. She rushed into the hospital, with a check-in bag, carry-on and purse. It attracted the attention of the people around her, but she hadn’t noticed. .

“Garcia!” Ina exclaimed.

“Excuse me?” the receptionist answered.

Ina subsequently remembered her manners, her face flushing in embarrassment. She realized she hadn’t talked to anyone for several days now, and in that time, it seemed like she forgotten all social cues. “Sorry. Do you have a Luna Garcia here?”

The receptionist stared back at her for a couple of seconds.

“At least tell me if she’s okay. Please. Tell me she’s alive,” Ina begged.

It was one thing for Ina to look untidy. Sometimes when under high stress like when a paper was due, Ina did put her appearance to the side. But for Ina to beg, that was a different story. Ina never begged, not even in the bedroom. That was Luna’s job.

“I can’t disclose that information, ma’am,” the receptionist said calmly.

Ina was getting desperate. And it showed. She went back and forth with the receptionist. Finally, Ina got the receptionist to at least check the records.

The receptionist quickly did so.

“She’s...not awake to approve visitors and I don’t see your name as a contact person. So how are you related to the patient? Her sister? Her mom?”

Ina visibly cringed at ‘her mom.’ But in all honesty, Ina looked like she had aged a decade in the past weeks. The woman looked disheveled, capped by huge bags under her eyes due to her lack of sleep.

“I’m her...uh...partner,” Ina said slowly, realization setting in. She remembered that she may not be anymore.

The receptionist was still reluctant to let Ina through. And Ina could tell.

“Please. She doesn’t have any family here in New York. I really need to see her. I’ll do anything. Just please let me see her,” Ina pleaded.

The receptionist was unsure what to do. But she looked deeply into Ina’s eyes where she saw genuine concern shining through.

“Okay, fine. She’s in Room 9121. Ninth floor. Second room to the right.”

Ina thanked the annoying-turned-kind receptionist as she lugged her baggage around the hospital. She entered the elevator and suddenly felt nervous. It had been a while since she’d seen Luna and she didn’t know what to expect. She found the room and took a deep breath before heading inside.

Luna slept peacefully as the machines around her beeped rhythmically. She had a few bruises and a cast on her right leg, but overall, she looked good. Ina let out a sigh of relief. Luna was okay physically. She would make it. Now her concern shifted to her reaction once she saw her.

By now, it was almost 1 AM. Ina put her bags in the corner of the room and pulled up a chair next to Luna. She put her hand out clasping Luna’s weak hand.

Luna was out cold. Ina’s heart filled with gratitude that Luna was next to her. Ina then began talking to Luna.

“I’m so sorry Luna. I was a fool. I should’ve told you about the sabbatical and we should’ve discussed it before I jumped in with both feet. I was just so excited about it. But no. If we’re together, we’re a team. And I should’ve considered you in my decision. I hope we can talk about this later. I love you with everything in me. And I’ll do everything to show you how much I love you.”

Ina rambled on for a couple more minutes before falling asleep herself, holding onto Luna’s hand throughout the night.

Luna was the first to wake up. She looked around confused. She saw someone’s bags on the side of her room. Then she saw her hand was being held. It was to her greater surprise that this hand belonged to Ina. She instinctively jerked away from Ina. She loved her. But after their quarrel, after the life-changing accident, it hurt. Her heart weighed heavily, torn between her love for Ina and the pain Ina had caused her. Ina was awakened by Luna pulling away from her.

“What are you doing here Ina? I thought you were in New Orleans,” Luna said plainly.

“Luna, oh my- oh thank god! I saw ‘The T’ about the accident. I’m so sorry Luna. I should’ve been there with you. I should’ve protected you. I-” Ina confessed.

“Go. Please. Just leave me alone. I don’t know how I feel right now. I went out to find you, Ina! I loved you. I still might. But it still hurts. It hurts to even look at you. Just give me time. Alone,” Luna said turning away from Ina.

“Please,” Ina pleaded.

“Go! Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” Luna said firmly.

“Lu-” Ina began.

“Don’t you dare Lu me. I could’ve died for Christ’s sake,” Luna paused to change her tone of voice. “GET. OUT. I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU,” she roared.

Ina had never heard Luna so angry. Her heart ripped away from her soul. It caused her physical pain to hear the words, but she had to respect Luna’s wishes if she wanted a chance to ever talk to her again. And so she conceded, somberly picking up her bags. She threw Luna one last, sad look as she opened the hospital room door. Her tears rolled off her face like cars racing down a street. She put her bags down to wipe her face and sniffled. Luna hadn’t been looking at Ina, but she heard the sniffle. She looked up to see Ina full-on crying, quite uncharacteristically.

Luna finally took a good look at Ina. She’d never seen Ina look so old or tired. Neither had she seen Ina full-on crying. In all honesty, she had never seen Ina look so well...bad. And even if this may have provoked a feeling of empathy for Ina, Luna was too heartbroken and hurt.

As Ina closed the door behind her and choked back a sob, Luna whispered out, “Goodbye, Ina.”

#ina kingsley #ina x mc #queen b #choices #luna garcia

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nightcoremoon · 4 years ago

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it's evident people haven't watched enough kids media to adequately understand just what constitutes a kids show as opposed to a show that kids can watch and be entertained by

when I was a kid I watched king of the hill and blues clues (among other things). king of the hill is NOT a kids show by any stretch of the imagination; it is an adult animation, replete with fairly heavy subject matter, sexual themes, political humor, cultural references that kids won't understand, discussion of religion in the modern day, depression and suicidal thoughts, adultery, puberty and sexual awakenings, body image, propane, propane accessories, and ultimately above all else what it means to be family. and blues clues is a show about a man who plays with a shovel & pail, talks to his condiments and mailbox, and sometimes he teleports into the felt dimension, all while playing Sherlock Holmes hercule poirot with his dog, and teaching kids how to count and draw and recognize colors and learn their ABCs. do you see the fucking difference? no? then I'll make it more clear.

dora the explorer & go diego go, mickey mouse clubhouse, handy manny, octonauts, bob the builder, super why, wild kratts, zoboomafoo, jojo's circus, wow wow wubbzy, stanley, doc mcstuffins, max & ruby, wonder pets, bubble guppies, ni hao khai lan, backyardigans, little einsteins, caillou (ugh) and p*w p*trol (double ugh), these are all undeniably kids shows. their audience is children (and the occasional adult by age with severe intellectual disabilities) and maybe the parents whose brains are too fried to care what's on the tv. these shows main purpose is to educate while entertaining on subjects one would encounter in preschool and kindergarten. counting 1-10, ABCs, basic color, basic language, basic intrapersonal skills, basic emotional literacy, problem solving, using your imagination, what sounds do animals make, breaking the fourth wall to ask the audience to answer what's 2+2 or tell them a lesson they learned today like I LEARNED TO NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER or some simple message like that. it's always light, there's no edgelord grimdark "what if they were dead the whole time" bullshit. it's just good clean simple wholesome [except for paw patrol] programs for kids to be distracted for a little bit of time, while also letting them walk away having said they learned something. at least half of the time dedicated to every single one of these shows is devoted to the same shit over and over again. I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map I'm the map WE FUCKING GET IT YOURE THE MAP! backpack backpack I'm the backpack loaded up with things and knickknacks too, anything that you might need I've got inside for you. we did it we did it we did it HOORAY! come on vamanos everybody let's go, come on let's get to it, I know that we can do it,

WHERE ARE WE GOING

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

THESE SONGS ARE BURNED INTO MY BRAIN AND THEYLL BE STUCK IN MY HEAD UNTIL I DIE

say click take a pic, the hot dog dance, CAN HE FIX IT???, pizza! spaghetti!, THE DOC IS IN AND SHELL FIX YOU UP, max & ruby ruby & max max & ruby ruby & max MAX & RUBY RUBY & MAX MAX & RUBY RUBY & MAX, wonder pets wonder pets we're on our way to help the friend and save the day, we're not too big and we're not too tough but when we work together we've got the right stuff, goooOOO WONDER PETS YAAAAY~, yoooour backyard friends the backyardigans (weve got the whole wide world in our yard to explore, thATS WHY EVERY DAY WEEEEERE BACK FOR MOOOORE), were going on a trip in our little rocket ship SOARING THROOOOOUGH THE SKY!!! little einsteins!

I swear to god I've been forced to watch so much children's television in my life it's no wonder there's no room left for serotonin executive function or the ability to speak to morons

point is I know my way around kids shows. my sisters were born in 98, 02, 05, 06, 10, and 18, I think, I don't even know because they're all a blur, I'm literally closer in age to my parents than to my youngest sibling, I never stopped being exposed to kids shows. I know what is and is not a kids show.

adventure time? not a kids show even though kids watch it. it's a "for everyone" show. it's got a target audience of 100% of the planet. steven universe? not a kids show even though kids watch it. miraculous ladybug? not a kids show even though kids watch it. scooby doo? not a kids show even though kids watch it. I'm not discussing the history of adult acceptance of animation, adult animation, or anime, so don't ask. dexter's laboratory. the grim adventures of billy & mandy. codename kids next door. teen titans. fairly oddparents. kim possible. invader zim. AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER. totally spies. courage the cowardly dog. the proud family. SPONGEBOB F*ING SQUAREPANTS. powerpuff girls. foster's home for imaginary friends. oh yeah you know what's coming next. my little goddamn pony friendship is mother fucking magic is not. a. kids. show. even though kids can watch it. it is a cartoon. it is an everyone show. that's why it's disingenuous and fucking stupid to decry any fan over the age of 7 as a pedophile and a weirdo creep; it participates in the infantilization of femininity. why is it ok for 20somethings to keep watching aang and squidward and finn & jake and zim and "return the slab" and everyone's totally fine wth that but when it's twilight sparkle suddenly everyone's like whoa you're a huge fucking loser for watching this girly wussy baby show for girly wussy babies. oh some bronies are sex crazed perverts? I'm sorry have you seen just how much porn there is for spongebob? oh some bronies are cringe? I'm sorry have you met half the steven universe fandom? oh some bronies are fascist rick sanchez kinnies with fedoras and katanas? BREAKING BAD FANS, HELLO!?!?!?

this is such a stupid tiring boring argument. maybe magic talking horses being friends and turning their friendship into magic rainbow nuclear fucking arms and blasting the evil out of a demon and turning her into the coolest fucking half-unicorn biker lesbian in the world is something that brings me, and adult, pure wholesome joy, in between bojack horseman and dark souls and breaking bad and deftones and fallout new vegas and jojo and cannibal corpse and other bleak depressing edgy shit that also brings me comfort. and MAYBE me at 16 starting to watch MLP:FIM becoming finally comfortable with the outward public expression of "traditionally feminine" interests is the main reason why I realized I was a girl when I did, and MAYBE I just like how pretty the colorful ponies look, AND MAYBE I KIN WITH ONE OR TWO OR EIGHT CHARACTERS, WHAT OF IT?

AND MAYBE ITS LITERALLY THE BEST LONG RUNNING FANTASY TV SERIES ON THE MARKET RIGHT NOW* SINCE GAME OF THRONES FUCKING SUCKS

but whatever, kids watch it sometimes so it's illegal for anyone who's not a kid to enjoy it, but only if it's something girly because liking girly things is bad because girliness is inherently bad, and the only things that are good have predominantly male casts*. right? right??? wrong, fucker. g4mlp has so much more in common with adventure time & atla than with blues clues or dora the fucking explora...r.

but keep in mind I'm saying this while hugging a blues clues plushie my grandma gave me for valentine's day because it reminds her of when I was a baby because I may not watch blues clues but it still means a lot to me for nostalgia and is 50% of the reason why I love ray charles. kids media isn't necessarily bad. I still do enjoy watching it with my little sisters. all this is is me being anal about categorization because I'm autistic and I LIVE for categorizing everything.

*besides atla obviously

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adorpheus · 4 years ago

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on fujoshi and fetishization

Lately, more and more, both here on tumblr and on other sites, I keep seeing people spew unfiltered hatred at fujoshi - that is, women who like mlm content such as gay fanfic and fanart featuring men with other men. And I don’t mean like a specific type of fujoshi, like the ones who are genuinely being weird about it, but just like a general hatred for girls (but especially straight identifying girls) who express love for gay romance.

I hate to break this to you all, but women (including straight women!) actually are allowed to like mlm fanfiction and fanart, even enthusiastically so. A woman simply expressing her love of gay fanfic, even if it is in kind of a cringey way or a way that you personally don’t like, is NOT automatically fetishization.

I’ve been on the receiving end of fetishization for my entire life, from a very young age, as many black and brown folx have, so I consider myself pretty well acquainted with how it works. Fetishization isn’t just like, being really into drawings of boys kissing, or whatever the fuck y’all are trying to imply on this god forsaken site.

Fetishization is complicated imo, and can encompass a lot of things, such as (but not limited to):

1 - dehumanization, e.g. viewing a group of people as sexual objects who exist purely for entertainment purposes, rather than acknowledging them as actual people who deserve respect and rights

and

2 - projecting certain assumptions onto said people based on their race/sexuality/whatever is being fetishized. These assumptions are often, but not always, sexual in nature (like the idea that black people in general are more sexual than other races, etc etc etc).

I’m going to use myself as an example to illustrate my point. Please note this isn’t the best or most nuanced example, but it is the most simplistic. A white person finding me attractive and respectfully appreciating my black features as part of what makes me beautiful is not, on its own, fetishization. A white person finding me attractive solely or mostly because I’m a PoC is now in fetishization territory. Similarly, assuming I’m dominant because of my blackness (like saying “step on me mommy” and shit like that) is hella fetishistic.

That being said, theres definitely a difference between how fetishization works in real life with real people, and how it shows up in fandom.

Fetishization manifests in many different ways in fandom, but most commonly on the mlm side of things, I personally see it appear as conservative (or centrist) women who love the idea of two men together, but don’t actually like gay people, and don’t necessarily think LGBT+ people deserve rights (or “special treatment” as its sometimes dog whistled). These women view queer men as sexual objects for entertainment rather than an actual group of people who deserve to be protected from systemic oppression. I’ve noticed that they often don’t even think of the men they “ship” together as actually being gay, and may even express disgust at the idea of a character in an mlm ship being headcanon’d gay. In case its not obvious, this is pretty much exactly the same way a lot of cishet men fetishize lesbians (they see “lesbian” as a porn category, rather than like, what actual LGBT people think of when we read the word lesbian). There’s a pretty popular viral tweet thread going around where someone explains seeing this trend of conservative women who like mlm stuff, and I have also personally witnessed this phenomenon myself in more than one fandom.

The funny thing is, maybe its just me buuuut.... The place I see this particular kind of fetishization happen most is not in the anime/BL fandom, from which the term fujoshi originates - I actually see these type of women way way more in western fandom spaces like Supernatural, Harry Potter, and Hannibal. I can’t stress this enough, there’s a shocking amount of people who are like, straight up trump supporters in these fandoms. If you want to experience it, try joining a Hannigram or Destiel group on facebook and you will probably encounter one eventually especially if you happen to be living through a major historical event. Like these women probably wouldn’t even be considered “fujoshi”, because that term doesn’t really apply to them given they aren’t in the BL/anime fandom, yet they’re the ones I personally see actually doing the most harm.

Of course this isn’t the ONLY kind of fetishizing woman in the mlm/BL world, there are other ways fetishization shows up, but this is the most toxic kind that I see.

A girl just being really into BL or whatever may be “cringe” to you, or she may be expressing her love for BL in a “cringey” way, but a straight woman really enjoying BL is not, on its own, somehow inherently fetishization. Yes, sometimes teenage girls act kind of cringe about how much they like BL and that might be annoying to you, but its not necessarily ~problematic~.

That being said, IT NEEDS BE REMARKED that a lot of the “fujoshi” that you all hate so deeply, are actually closeted trans men or nonbinary people who haven’t yet come to terms with their gender identity, or are otherwise just NOT cishet. I know because I was one of these closeted people for years, and I honestly think tumblr and the cultural obsession around purity is one of the many reasons I was closeted so deeply for so long. STORYTIME LOL!!! In my early adolescence, I was a sort of proto “fujoshi”. I identified as a bi girl who was mostly attracted to men, or as most (biphobic) people called it, “practically straight”. I wrote and read “slash” fanfic and looked at as well as drew my own fanart. We didn’t use the term fujoshi back then, but that’s definitely how I could have been described. I was obsessed with yaoi, BL, whatever you want to call it, to a cringe-inducing degree. I really struggled to relate to most het romances, so when I first discovered yaoi fanfics (as we called them at the time), I fell in love and felt like I finally found the type of romance content that was made for me. I didn’t know exactly why, I just knew it hit different. LGBT+ fanart and fanfiction brought me an immense amount of joy, and I didn’t really think too hard about why.

At some point, in my early 20s, after reading lots of discourse™ here on tumblr and other places like twitter, I started to get the sinking feeling that my passion for gay fanfiction was ~problematic~. I had always felt a sense of guilt for being into mlm content, because literally anyone who found out I liked BL (especially the men I dated) shamed me for liking it all the fucking time (which btw is literally just homophobic, like can we talk about that?). In addition to THAT bullshit, now I’m seeing posts telling me that girls who like BL are cringey gross fetishists who inspire rage and should go die?

Let me tell you, I internalized the fuck out of messages like this. I desperately wanted to avoid being ~problematic~. At the time, I thought being problematic was like the worst thing you could be. I was terrified of being “cancelled”, before canceling was even really a thing. I thought to myself, “oh my god, I’m gross for liking this stuff? I should stop.” I beat myself up over this. I wanted so badly to be accepted, and to be deemed a Good Person by the internet and society at large.

I tried to shape up and become a good ally (lmfao). I stopped writing fanfic and deleted all the ones I was working on at the time. I made a concerted effort to assimilate into cishet culture, including trying to indulge myself more deeply in the few fandoms I could find that had het content I did enjoy (Buffy, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, etc). I would occasionally look at BL/fanfic/etc in private, but then I would repress my interest in it and not look for a while. Instead I would look at women in straight relationships, and create extremely heterosexual Couple Goals pinterest boards, and try to figure out how I could become more like these women, so I, too, could be loved someday.

This cycle of repression lasted like eight years. Throughout it all, I was performing womanhood to the best of my ability and trying to become a woman that was worthy of being in a relationship. I went in and out of several “straight” relationships, wondering why they didn’t make me feel the way reading fanfic did. Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why straight intimacy didn’t work for me. I just didn’t enjoy it. I always preferred looking at or making gay fanfiction/fanart over actual intimacy with men in real life.

Eventually, I stumbled upon a trans coming out video that someone I was following posted online, my egg started to crack, and to make an extremely long story short, after like 3 years of introspection and many gender panic attacks that I still experience to this day, I realized that I’m uh... MAYBE... NOT CIS..!? :|

I truly believe if I had just been ALLOWED TO LIKE GAY STUFF WITHOUT BEING SHAMED FOR IT, I probably would have realized I was trans way way sooner. Because for me, indulging in my love of gay romance and writing gay fanfic wasn’t me being a weirdo fetishist, it was actually me exploring my own gender identity. It is what helped me come to terms with being a nonbinary trans boy.

Not everyone realizes they are trans at age 2 or whatever the fuck. Sometimes you have to go through a cringey fujoshi phase and multiple existential crises to realize how fucking gay you are AND THATS FINE.

And one more thing - can we just be real here?

A lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment is literally just misogyny. omg please realize this. Its “women aren’t allowed to enjoy things” but, like... with gay fanfics. Some of the anti-fujoshi posts I see come across my dash are clearly ppl projecting a caricature they invented in their head of a demonic fujoshi fetishist onto any woman who expresses what they consider to be a little too much enthusiasm for gay content and then using their perception of that individual as an excuse to justify their disdain for any women, especially straight women, ‘invading’ their ~oh so exclusive~ queer fandom spaces.

god get over yrselfs this is gatekeeping by another name

idk why i spent so long writing this no one is even going to read it, does anyone even still use this site

*EDIT: HOLY SHIT WHEN DOING RESEARCH FOR THIS POST I FOUND OUT THAT Y-GALLERY IS BACK OMG!!!

#rant #fujoshi #I SAID WHAT I SAID #personal #gender stuff

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miss-noo-na · 4 years ago

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Strange Love (Part 1)

Title: Strange Love

Featuring: Johnny (NCT) x Reader

Rating: Mature. Future updates to include BDSM themes

Summary: Your job is finally recognizing all the hard work you’ve been putting in, and assigns you to a special project that includes travel. The only downside is that you have to team up with your cocky co-worker. In the process you learn about his predilections and what he does to relieve stress in his downtime, and how they might come to benefit you, too.

The copier spluttered and buzzed as it spit out page after page of the same report. Sometimes it jammed and you had to tap it just right for it to start up again, you knew it like clockwork now, not even having to shift your stance or your gaze to do it. You had made friends with the piece of equipment ages ago, this thing was older than some of the new hires in the office.

You had been there for 3 years now, but it felt much longer. You found the job out of college because of its promised upward mobility and company culture, and after a while neither one of those things mattered anymore. You had only had one partial raise and “company culture” really just meant there was cake in the break room once a month.

You didn’t know why you stayed. Actually, you did, but didn’t want to admit it to yourself. You were afraid.

You had always been timid, knowing what you wanted but too anxious to go after it. You could be stubborn and even stand up for yourself, but often you fell by the wayside, worried about making too much of a fuss. You developed a fine-tuned talent for painting on a smile, seeming agreeable, then grumbling under your breath and to your friends over drinks. You would convince yourself things would change, but they never did.

When the copier stopped with its signature grinding halt you snapped out of your reverie, piling the papers in arm to hand them out around the office. Busy-work, per usual.

When you stepped out of the room you immediately looked across the hall to the windowed room of your manager, able to hear his muffled laughter, head tossed back as he slapped his hand on another mans back. Your eyes set into a narrow glare at the other person.

John Suh had only shown up 9 months ago and he was already 2 positions ahead of you, with his fancy degree and family connections. They liked to pretend they didn’t play favorites but it was obvious from the moment he stepped in the door that he had something the rest of you didn’t, connections and his daddy’s money.

Plus, there was just this air of overconfidence he carried that enraged you. Not only did he have an advantage, he liked to act like it was his savvy business sense and charm that got him there.

The most annoying part of all is that no one else felt the way you did.

He was clearly attractive, the only person in the office who didn’t get shit from the boss for growing his hair out or not buttoning up his jacket. Every girl in the office from the 19 year old receptionist to the 67 year old accountant practically swooned when he talked to them. This, of course, made you look like the asshole to your colleagues. They called you distrustful and told you to be a little more open-minded, but you didn’t have patience for nepotism and unearned praise.

If you thought about it too long, the frustration built up and where did that leave you? You went about your business for the afternoon, intent on ignoring his presence like you usually did.

As you neared the manager’s door, he suddenly poked his head out and smiled at you.

“Hey there, can I grab you for a second?”

And then he disappeared inside, through the glass you could see him speak to your nemesis once more. Your stomach dropped, what could he possibly need? You set the stack down on your desk and returned to the office, clearing your throat as you entered since they were chatting and laughing like you didn’t exist.

“There you are, have a seat.” He said as he went to his desk, gesturing to the chairs in front of it. You were surprised when John took the seat next to yours, but chose to pretend he wasn’t there.

“I’ve had this project brewing for a few months now, and whilst going over potential candidates your name came up.”

Project? Your name?

“You’ve been loyal to the company for years, your workflow looks great, and I’ve never heard a fuss out of you. You’re honestly a prime worker for this position.”

“What position would that be, sir?” You asked gently, knowing he had a habit of going on tangents if you let him. Plus, all of this was lip service you’d heard since you started. They were always quick to praise, but never do anything that actually showed that it mattered in a way that helped you. Empty compliments.

“This is our main office, and the system we have here is the best in the business, but unfortunately that’s not the case in some of our smaller offices. They’re falling behind and their technology and practices aren’t getting updated in a timely fashion. Basically, they need help, and that’s where you two come in.”

Two? You peered over at the man next to you from the corner of your eye, and quickly back again.

“I’m not sure I follow. Aren’t these offices spread out all over the country?” You asked.

“Precisely. We’ve opened up a position for trainers, someone who is free to travel and can help these places get set up. You would spend about a week or less in each place, we would make sure you have proper accommodations and a stipend, of course.”

It dawned on you what he meant and you felt a mix of emotions. It was about time someone realized your potential and the hard work you had been putting in, even if you were still confused on how your name got brought up. You didn’t have any problem traveling, there was no relationship or particular thing that kept you tied down in one spot.

“Oh, and the 30% raise.”

You perked up at that, then quickly tried to make yourself appear neutral again.

“That does sound enticing.”

“What do you say? I think you both would be great at it.”

You fully looked over now, and made brief eye contact with the man who offered you an encouraging smile.

“We would be working...together?”

“It’s a two-man, excuse me, two-person job. I can tell you now I think you would make an excellent team.”

You didn’t even know him like that, and everything you did know you weren’t particularly fond of. You had maybe spoken a handful of words to each other, in passing. Things like “excuse me” and “here’s that report you needed.” The idea of having to spend so much time around him didn’t sit well with you, but how could you pass up such an opportunity? it was strictly business, it’s not like you had to be best friends.

“Okay, then.” You nodded and forced an uneasy smile.

“Fantastic! I’ll draw up the paperwork tonight and get you on your schedule within the week. In the meantime, I encourage you two to get to know each other.”

You left the office, intent on going straight back to your desk, but your new partner stopped you.

“I don’t think we’ve ever been formally introduced, I’m John, but everyone just calls me Johnny.”

He stuck his hand out and you had to fight the urge to cringe, there was no way in hell you were going to call him that.

You were cordial, shook his hand and told him your name, avoided eye contact. Being this close to him you didn’t realize until now how tall he was.

“You want to grab some lunch with me? My treat, we can hammer out some details.”

“I’m a little busy this aftern-”

“It’ll be fine, the boss insists we form a game plan and I know a spot around the corner.” He cut you off and started to walk away as if you already agreed. You wanted to fight him on it, but that wasn’t the best way to start out a brand new position. You sighed and followed.

The “spot” was basically a sports bar, that was practically dead, save for a few people at the bar watching a baseball game. You sat at a table near the back and wished you could get a beer, but you still had a whole work day ahead of you.

“So it’s like, part trainer, part teacher, part IT. Do you have any experience in IT? I actually started out in computer science before I switched to business, my dad thought it was the best for my career path. I mean, I guess he was right because here I am.”

He was….different, than you thought he would be. You only saw him in the office, turning on his charm and worming his way into things. Here, he was talkative and friendly, and it was throwing you off-guard. The casual humble-brag about his background wasn’t making him anymore likable, though.

“No, I majored in English.”

I swear to God if he says-

“English? Aren’t you already fluent?”

You closed your eyes for a second while his stupid laugh rang in your ears.

“Anyway, I think this is going to be an awesome opportunity for us. I mean, how lucky are we to get picked for this?”

“I wouldn’t call it luck.” You grumbled before taking a drink, not really intending him to hear it.

“What’s that?”

“It’s not luck.” You said as you met his eyes fully for the first time. “Not for me. I’ve worked my ass off for this company for years, it’s only luck for people who got a head start.”

You sank your teeth into your tongue just as the words left you, and you could see the smile fade from his face. You suddenly felt flush and thought about apologizing, but he spoke up.

“Ah, so you think I had a leg up?”

“I didn’t mean-”

He waved a hand and laughed. “It’s fine, I know everyone thinks that, you’re just the first person to say it to my face.”

You couldn’t tell if he was offended and playing it off, or if he was really this nonchalant about it.

“Look, no offense, but I don’t think we need to be buddies for this to work. I would rather just get in the field and work things out from there.” You explained as directly as you could.

“That’s fair.” He nodded, to your surprise.

The small-talk ended and when he tried to pay for lunch, you insisted on giving your share. The rest of the day was uneventful, except for the twinge of guilt you had when you thought back on how you spoke to him.

When you got home, you collapsed on the couch next to your roommate, a graphic designer who worked from home and was always in her PJs. You envied her.

“Another rough day at the office, sweetie?” She asked, patting you on the head, condescending but still sincere.

“Remember that douchebag at work I told you about?”

“Oh, the cute one?” She asked with a smile, having seen him when coming to drop off some lunch for you once.

“Whatever, anyway.” You sat up to face her. “The good news is that I got a promotion to a position that lets me travel.”

“Hey, that’s great!” She beamed.

“The bad news is that we have to do it together.”

She looked to consider it for a moment before her lips curled into a devious smile. “On the road for work? Hotel stays? Working in close proximity? Ohh, this is like a spicy romance novel!”

“Ew, stop.” You scowled.

“Only if you stop pretending he’s not hot.”

“Someone can be objectively hot and I can still not like them or be attracted to them. He’s arrogant and he seems to think we’re on the same page somehow. He’s oblivious to his own privilege.”

“Okay, I get that, sorry for teasing you. But hey, this is the break you were looking for, right? Focus on the positive.”

“Thank you.”

She opened up her arms and you hugged for a long moment.

“Maybe while you’re traveling you’ll finally get laid.” She said suddenly into your ear, and you pulled back and glared at her.

“Sorry, sorry! I just know that lately you haven’t really been-”

You stood up from the couch as she spoke. “I’m going to my room now.”

“Let me know if you need help packing!”

You closed your bedroom door and sighed. She meant well, but she had a way of saying things so bluntly that it didn’t quite help. She was right about that, though. Your career wasn’t the only stagnant thing in your life.

You hadn’t had a steady boyfriend in 2 years, and in that time had only experienced a sprinkling of dates that never went anywhere and the 2-3 times you randomly hooked up with someone to great disappointment. Frustrated was an understatement, and you knew part of it was bleeding over into your professional life.

You didn’t expect to have any sort of passionate tryst while out for work, but maybe simply getting into a new scenery would make you feel better?

To Be Continued

#johnny suh #nct #nct scenarios #johnny scenarios #nct johnny #nct 127

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pradaxstyles · 4 years ago

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Sunrise Encounters

*not my photo*

hi everyone!!! i’m very excited to share with you my submission for @helladirections Summer Feeling Fic Challenge! my prompt was sunrise! this is my first ever fic challenge and i’m very happy with how this turned out. the masterlist for everyone’s work is here. check them out and send them some love!! i hope you enjoy! also a big thank you to @chxrrylove for helping me out and just being an amazing person. don’t forget to reblog! feedback is always welcome and appreciated 🥰

disclaimer - i don’t know anything about perth, australia. so if it’s not accurate or anything just roll with it, it’s fiction

song i listened to while writing (in case you wanna listen to it) - 5am amber run

word count - 2.7k

warnings - small mentions of being alone and uncertainty about life plans. other than that, nothing major.

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The cool breeze of the summer air ran through her hair, almost as if it were playing with it. She was sitting in a clearing above Perth. The Australian city was brightly lit, creating little shadows on her cheeks. A million things were running through her mind. She knew it was late, but she enjoyed being out during the early morning hours. There was something about the city during 4 am that she loved. Maybe it was the stillness of it. How the usual bustling city sat quiet and dormant. Or maybe it was the vibrancy of the buildings among the horizon. It showed that even though the city lay still, the beauty of it was everlasting.

The beach was one of her favorite spots in the city. The openness gave her a sense of peace and calmness. It allowed her to process the thoughts that ran through her mind and just let go for a little while.

Having just moved to Perth, she wasn’t familiar with many places or people. The one place she felt most at home was the beach, watching the stars. It was something she did back home when the clouds didn’t crowd the dark sky. On the rare nights she couldn’t see the stars, she’d turn to her notebook full of poems. Y/N didn’t dabble in poetry often, but when she did, it acted as a release. It was a release of the emotions she couldn’t get rid of.

Tonight in particular, there were no clouds in sight to cover the universe’s beauty. Her fingers dragged through the smooth sand as she traced random shapes. A sigh left her lips as she wished she could be back home. Y/N had left behind family, friends, and everything she knew to move to Perth for a “new beginning”. Before the move, she was excited. Y/N was excited to see the world and meet new people. But once she arrived, second thoughts riddled her brain. She wasn’t familiar with the area and didn’t know anyone which put a damper on her mood.

She came upon the small beach when she first moved. Needing to find an escape from a reality for a bit, she ventured to the streets, looking for a place she could call a home away from home.

This brings her to today, 4:30 am, sitting on the beach overlooking the city. The colorful beach towel lay underneath her, shielding her body from the sticky grains of sand. Y/N leaned back just enough so she could watch the stars while she was lost in her ocean of thoughts.

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The beach was also Harry’s favorite place. He had a small house in Perth. He’d come when he needed a break, or simply when he needed a vacation. Harry had stumbled upon the clearing purely by accident. During some nights when he couldn’t sleep, he would go for runs and end up watching the sunrise.

On this specific night, he was wide awake. After a night out with friends to celebrate a win for their favorite sports team, he figured he would sleep nicely. Alas, he laid wide awake in bed staring at the ceiling. Sighing, he yanked the duvet off of his body and sat up. The lights strung along the walls lit up the room just enough so Harry could see the clock across from the bed. He closed his eyes in frustration as the numbers read 4:30 am.

Figuring he’d start his day, he stood from the warm bed and shuffled over to the closet and slipped on some shorts and a tee shirt. Making his way into the bathroom, he flickered the light on. He reached for his toothbrush, turned the water on and began brushing his teeth.

He sat on the bed and leaned down to tie his shoes. Moving towards his nightstand, Harry reached for a clip and twisted his curls into place so they wouldn’t fall to his face as he ran.

Waltzing into the kitchen, he munched on a granola bar and sipped some water before making his way outside. The clearing wasn’t far from his house, he estimated about a mile. Taking a deep breath, he picked up his pace until he was jogging. The air whooshing around him filled his ears as he looked around to take in his surroundings. He was used to jogging this late, but it never hurt to observe the nature around him.

The thoughts of his life consumed his mind. Harry was unsure of what he wanted to do with his life. His parents were both doctors and his sister went on to be a lawyer. There was always a pressure on him to follow in their footsteps, but he knew deep down that he wanted to do something else. He wanted to do something that inspired people.

Wherever he was in the world, he often found himself watching the sunrise. Harry realized that wherever he went, the sunrise always looked different. When he was visiting Greece, he found the highest point in Mykonos to watch the sunrise. The sun rose above the water and a beautiful array of colors were put on display. Different shades of purple and pink littered the sky as the sun was saying good morning. Or when he was in Colorado visiting some friends at their mountain house, he was blown away at the beauty the sunrise held. Hues of pink and orange illuminated the skies as the snow on top of the mountains seemed to reflect the colors, it was truly one of his favorite sights.

It was during his escapades around the world that he discovered his love for the beauty of the world. He enjoyed making art ever since he was younger and it’s something that’s stayed with him as he grew up. Sketching people in the park, or painting the sunrises, he came to the realization that he wanted to paint the world in a way people didn’t often look at it.

He sighed at the memory, a smile creeping its way onto his lips. He felt at peace with the path ahead of him in life.

A thin sheet of sweat laid against his tanned skin as he glanced down at the watch on his wrist, 4:40 am. The sun was just starting to peak above the earth as he came up to the beach. Slowing his pace, his gaze fell upon a girl who was sitting on the sand. She looked to be his age, but he couldn’t get a clear look at her face. Harry wondered why she was here so late, there was usually no one at the beach this early. Shrugging it off, he decided to just come back on his way home and not bother the girl.

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Y/N’s eyes squinted ever so slightly, trying to see the stars as the sun was beginning to rise. Laying down against the towel, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wondered if she’d ever find her place in the world. Y/N wanted to live dangerously. She wanted to go on adventures around the world and immerse herself in different cultures, soaking up all that she could.

Tapping her phone screen on, the clock on her phone read 4:45 am. Glancing at the sky, she took note of how the stars began to fade as the sun began peeking through the buildings. Along with the stars, she adored watching sunrises. The way the sun brought so much light and warmth as it rose made her feel small in the world, content in a way.

The sky that was once dark had begun to erupt in hues of pinks and oranges. She sat up, bringing her knees to her chest as she rested her head on them. The sand beneath her was cool, making her shiver slightly.

Above her head, birds soared high and the sounds of their chirps could be heard. Cicadas buzzed and hummed around her. The scene was serene, as if it was something out of a movie.

Y/N took a deep breath as she admired the changing sky.

Unbeknownst to her, Harry had come back to the beach. He was contemplating going up and seeing if she was okay or just heading home. He racked his brain, trying to remember if he had seen her before. But he had no idea who she was. Harry wondered how she’d found the beach since it was pretty well hidden from the public. He knew he couldn’t just leave her be without knowing if she was okay or not, so he moved towards the girl.

“Hey, are you okay?” Harry questioned softly.

Y/N jumped slightly, unaware there was someone on the beach with her. A hand lay on her chest as she mumbled, “Jesus, you scared me.”

Harry chuckled quietly and moved to sit next to her. He put some distance between himself and the girl, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. Stretching his legs out to sit comfortably, he cringed slightly as the sand clung to his exposed legs. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

She glanced at him and noticed his hair was pulled up into a clip and how his forehead glistened with sweat. “What are you doing here so late?”

“I could ask you the same question. What’s your name?”

Her lips curved into a small smile, “Y/N, and you are?”

“Harry.”

“Well-” she broke her stare from the sky and met his gaze, “it’s nice to meet you, Harry.”

He smiled slightly and she returned it. A comfortable silence fell over them as they both turned their heads back to the city in front of them. More cars were seen driving down the streets and people walking around. Harry’s watch read 4:55 am, which is the time the sun officially began rising.

“I’m okay. I just come here some nights to watch the stars and sunrise.” Y/N whispered, breaking the silence. She kept her eyes on the rising sun that had peaked through the tall buildings, casting shadows everywhere.

Harry’s face softened at her words. After all, he does the same thing when he can’t sleep. “I do, too. I’m surprised we haven’t run into each other more.” His head tilted upwards as he took in the colors that painted the sky. Different shades of pink, purple, and blue covered the sky. Some clouds had rolled in and they reflected the colors beautifully.

She nodded slightly at his words, before she spoke. “I just moved her from Tennessee. I found the beach while looking for a place to clear my mind. Its been my favorite place ever since, plus you can see the stars beautifully from here.”

He hummed in agreement. There had been numerous nights when he ended up on the beach stargazing. It was far enough from the city lights that you could still see everything. “That’s cool, I’ve never been to Tennessee before. I’m originally from England.”

Y/N giggled softly, “I figured, I could tell from your accent.” She glanced at him just as his cheeks started to heat up. The tinge of red could be seen and Harry knew it, his cheeks were on fire. He laughed along with her and sighed.

“What are you doing in Australia?”

“I’m here for a new beginning, I guess.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, “You guess?”

He turned his body so that he was facing her now. Her head turned towards him as she observed him with curiosity. Realizing what he was doing, she did the same. The beach towel that was underneath her body was long forgotten as the sand also clung to her legs. The pair was now facing each other and Harry finally got a clear look at Y/N’s face. Her delicate features fit her perfectly.

“Yeah, I guess. I mean, I’m not too thrilled about being here since I have no friends at the moment. I don’t even know what I wanna do with my life.” She spoke lowly while laying her head against her propped up knee.

“You’ve got a friend, you have me.”

A smile made its way to Y/N lips and she glanced at Harry, who was already looking at her. He thought she was so beautiful. In his eyes, he felt like she represented the sunrise. A new side of her was always on display, and there was so much more for him to learn, so much he wanted to learn.

“Well, thank you for being my first friend.” Her gaze lingered a bit longer on Harry’s soft features before she turned back to look at the sky. “Thank you for watching the sunrise with me.”

Harry could have melted on the spot from her words. He just met Y/N but he was prepared to watch every sunrise with her. “No need to thank me, but you’re very welcome.”

Y/N scooted closer to Harry and he opened an arm to her. His breath hitched as she laid her head against his chest. She didn’t know why or how she felt so comfortable around someone she had just met, but she felt like she’d known him her entire life. Inhaling deeply, Harry moved his arm to her waist and held her tightly. He loved the feeling of her body pressed against his. It felt familiar, it made him feel warm.

“So..” Y/N began.

“So…” Harry continued

“Wanna get breakfast?” Y/N twisted herself slightly so that she could look up at Harry. He glanced down at her and his tummy erupted with butterflies.

“Of course we can get breakfast. Anywhere specific you would like to go?”

She shook her head, “I don’t know any good places around here. You seem like you’ve got good taste, you choose where we go.”

He chuckled at her statement, “Hm, well what are you in the mood for?”

Y/N thought about it. Back in Tennessee, there was an amazing crepe place by her house. Her and some friends would get breakfast there every Friday before school. She smiled fondly at the memory and made her decision.

“Are there any crepe places around here?”

Harry thought for a moment, “Yeah there is. Do you wanna get some crepes?”

Crepes were Harry’s favorite breakfast, but he wouldn’t admit it out loud.

“I do, only if you like crepes though. We could always go somewhere else.”

“No no, we’re going to get crepes. Don’t worry your pretty little head over it.” Harry moved to stand. Dusting off his pants, he reached a hand down for Y/N.

Y/N was too distracted by his comment to realize his outstretched hand. Harry noticed her red cheeks and smiled to himself.

“Come on, we can walk back to mine and I’ll drive.” Harry said.

She placed her smaller hand in his and felt sparks fly through her body. He pulled her up and she grabbed her towel that was left in the sand. “Sounds like a plan.”

Harry smiled sweetly and Y/N shot him a toothy grin.

Y/N was thankful she found herself at the beach. If she didn’t feel the need for an escape, she would’ve never met Harry. She could already tell they were going to be best friends. Who knows, maybe she’ll bring him back to Tennessee.

For once, Harry was happy he couldn’t sleep. He was also happy he knew of the beach. Y/N was like a breath of fresh air. She felt real, like she didn’t care about what anyone had to say. She was the friend he was looking for, someone who he could feel free with.

The pair walked together, hand in hand, back to Harry’s house. The sun was a bit higher in the sky now, but the remnants of orange and pink could still be seen. Birds were busy chirping high in the trees and people were on their way to work.

With the promise to watch the sunrise together the next morning, Harry and Y/N both felt giddy about the day to come.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles one shot #harry styles x y/n #harry styles #ahhh i hope you enjoyed this #this is honestly my fave piece so far #please dont forget to reblog!!#feedback is always welcome and appreciated ((:#xoxo #aae writes

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