#i thought i could keep mammals too

[unriding]

and i found these awesome sites + pretty flowers ^^

[whispering-about-the-tmnt]

Some headcanons regarding TMNT physiology

Over the years, I have come up with some headcanons regarding how I believe the Ninja Turtles' bodies work. I thought that perhaps it might be nice to finally share them with all of you.

These don't apply to all the iterations, of course, but they are pretty well universal in my mind, and I tend to incorporate most of them into my fanfics.

The Turtles (like leatherback sea turtles, echidnas, and some dinosaurs) are mesotherms, meaning they are neither warm nor cold blooded. They are, instead, in a middle-ground: they internally generate heat, but not to a constant temperature. In the Turtles' case, they will shiver when cold, and their bodies will not shut down right away when the temperature dips too low, though they may lose some energy and find it hard to concentrate.

Unlike many other modern reptiles and amphibians, who have a three-chambered heart, the Turtles have four-chambered hearts (like mammals and dinosaurs) that are larger and stronger than average human hearts and located at the center of their chests.

While the average human blood capacity is around five liters, the Turtles have about seven. Much of the blood flows under the shell -- a remnant of their lives as ordinary turtles, whose own blood does so in order to warm them when they bask. This means that the Turtles could lose close to three liters of blood before dying, while a human would only be able to lose two.

Their blood is also highly efficient at clotting, but that also means that storing blood for transfusions is difficult, and so must be directly transfused from one turtle to another in emergency situations.

Owing to their extensive circulatory system, they also have a larger lung capacity than humans and more oxygen-rich blood, and so are able to hold their breath for extended periods of time without adverse effects. Other than this, the Turtles' respiratory system is very much like humans', utilizing a diaphragm to inflate and deflate their lungs.

Like regular turtles, they do not have ribs, but rather their carapaces and plastrons serve that purpose, and they have muscles under their shells that keep their internal organs right where they belong.

Also like regular turtles, their spines curve along the insides of their shells. A direct hit on the center of their shells, then, could cause damage to their spinal column and nervous system, but fortunately their vertebral shields offer a fair amount of protection, so it would take quite an impact.

The Turtles are highly resistant to most infections and diseases, which increases their immunological responses. They do not get sick easily, and they recover quickly.

While their scales are not apparent, they are integrated into their skin, making it tougher than human skin. It takes a very hard hit to raise a bruise, and it is difficult to cut through without a very sharp or pointed blade.

Their bones are similar to humans, but are more resistant to breaking. They also heal quicker and stronger if they are broken.

Their muscles are also very close to human-like, but they are stronger than an average human due to compensating for the extra weight they carry in their shells. Because of this, their ligaments and tendons are also tougher, and it is difficult for them to have a joint dislocated.

Their sense of smell is more acute than humans, but not to an extreme degree. They are also not as bothered by foul smells (though this has more to do with living in a sewer than their physiology).

Their eyes are a bit tougher and more resistant to damage than human eyes due to a protective membrane that covers them. They see a bit better than humans in dark places and underwater.

Their hearing is somewhat more attuned to lower frequencies than human hearing, and is not dependent on external ears but rather an internal auditory system (making direct damage to their hearing unlikely).

They are capable of being knocked unconscious, but it takes a significant impact. Permanent or lingering damage to their brains is unlikely due to their structure, and so they also do not tend to suffer the same side-effects that humans would in the same circumstances (nausea, memory loss, etc.).

Although their nutritional needs are similar to humans, they do not need to eat every day, and in fact can get by quite well without food for a week if necessary (though they won't enjoy it). When food is readily available, however, they will eat as much as possible to store up energy. Their metabolism does not slow down when they do not eat, so overexerting themselves when they haven't had any food for a while can burn them out suddenly.

Their sleep schedules are much like most diurnal animals, though they are able to stay awake for extended periods of time and can get by on little sleep, if necessary. There have been times when they have been awake for days on end, getting by on short one hour naps here and there. In general, though, they like to have a regular sleep/wake cycle.

Like other reptiles, the Turtles never stop growing throughout their lifetimes; however their growth is slow, topping off at about 1-2 inches every five years.

Does anyone have anything they would like to add to the list? I actually had fun compiling it!

[yuurei20]

Hello!

Bit of a dumb question

I wanted to know if it was ever mentioned anywhere that Jade ate his siblings.. My sister keeps saying he said that he ate everyone but kept Floyd bc he looked like he'd be funny or something. I've never seen this mentioned before and I wanna prove her wrong

Hello hello!! ^^ Thank you for this question!

“Jade ate his siblings” is one of many unproven fan theories, based on a number of comments in the game that might be hints about something that may or may not have happened!

The theory goes that Jade and Floyd hatched from eggs (moray eels can lay up to 10,000 eggs at once in real life, though in-game is unspecified) at approximately the same time.

Jade then selected Floyd as the one sibling he would spare, and ate the rest. (The reason why he chose Floyd is technically not specified.)

This is based on many things that can be found throughout the game, such as this cryptic comment from Jade: “I’m glad I chose you as my partner when we were but little elvers.”

Floyd responds, “Not sure what that smile’s for, but I’m glad we survived together, too,” which may insinuate that if something did happen, Floyd might not know what it was.

Jade also says, “there are five in my family at present.” One interpretation of this line is that their family used to be larger, and might get even smaller in the future, but five is where they are at now. 

The more optimistic side of EN fandom will sometimes theorize that maybe their mother is pregnant and there will actually be a new addition to the family soon rather than a loss, but we have been given a surprising amount of information about how common it is for people to go missing in the Coral Sea, with otherwise zero hints that they will soon be getting between 1 and 10,000 new siblings.

The evidence used for the “hatched from eggs” part of the theory comes from Floyd insisting that neither he nor Jade are any older or younger than the other.

This might seem vague in English, where which twin of two was technically born first might not come up very often, but in Japanese one twin being born first would mean that one of them would refer to the other as something like “nii-san,” like Ortho does with Idia, or "aniki," as Ace does with his brother and Leona does with Falena.

(For a real-world example I recommend referring to the Twitter account of Jamil’s voice actor, Futaba Kaname. He has (弟) in his username for “little brother,” while his identical twin Yuu has (兄) in his username for “older brother.”)

But neither Jade nor Floyd refer to one another as “nii-san," "aniki" or anything but their first names.

While “bro” or “brother” will sometimes be added to their dialogue on EN neither twin has ever actually called the other “brother” in their original dialogue, because the Japanese language makes you specify older or younger (an age-neutral word for “brother” doesn’t really exist) and, as Floyd says outright in the game, neither he nor Jade are any older or younger than the other.

This makes sense if they both hatched from eggs at approximately the same time, rather than being born like mammals.

Another point that is often referenced in the “Jade and Floyd: Dead Siblings” topic is how, on the subject of ghosts they have seen, both twins mention seeing people on Halloween that looked strikingly like each other, only to realize that they weren’t. 

Floyd: “I once thought I saw Jade in three different places at once.”

The theory goes that they saw the ghosts of their dead siblings.

This may or may not be considered evidence of how the twins might have had other siblings at one point and something happened to them, but even if so, it could have just been a Finding-Nemo style incident with a barracuda or something similar.

So why do people point to Jade as the perpetrator?

(Maybe irrelevant, but Rook’s nickname for Jade in the original game is, “Monsieur Premeditated Crime.”)

Jade is a heavy eater, on par with Sebek (another thing they have in common is they have both threatened to eat Grim), saying that people are often surprised by how much he eats.

Jade says this is because his “fuel efficiency is lacking” (low blood pressure?).

Floyd is aware of this and seems to go to extra lengths to make sure Jade eats properly, encouraging him to relax and fetching food for him during Halloween.

The original meaning of Jade’s unique magic is, “the tooth that takes out a bite,” so this is definitely a theme with him.

And his official, disliked food? Eel.

To the original question: no, there is not a definitive line in the game that states “Jade ate his siblings” that we can point to as proof that it actually, canonically happened.

But we do have many cryptic lines that might possibly be insinuating that a infamously hungry Jade chose Floyd as the one sibling he would spare and ate the rest, Floyd may not know it happened, and Jade might be actively choosing not to tell him 🐬

[smile-files]

i'm trying to do some speculative biology stuff on how dragons could exist: provided i'm thinking of the typical hexapod/six-limbed dragon (four legs and two wings), however, i have to contrive reasons for how the extra set of limbs would arise on a quadruped, and how they'd function (wyvern dragons are much easier to envision, as they're just scarier pterodactyls); i'm also curious as to how dragons would behave given their anatomy. assorted thoughts below...

for one thing, i instantly imagined dragons evolving from dinosairs. i was thinking of some sort of conjoined/parasitic twin mutation common to the dragon species which would add the extra wings, but that idea rested on one twin having the wing-limbs to contribute to the wingless dominant twin, which apparently would be impossible as all conjoined twins are identical (which is pretty obvious now that i think about it). i should still keep the conjoined twins idea in my back pocket, though, so there could be hydras!

maybe the extra limbs would just be a product of polymelia, specifically notomelia... as it is, though, i'm wondering how the mutant extra limbs would evolve into wings fast enough that the mutation could even persist in the population: the presence of the extra limbs would likely be a hinderance for as long as they aren't actively beneficial, after all. maybe i can look into how pterodactyl and archaeopteryx wings evolved to get a sense of how that occurred: for them, too, any evolutionary stage at the midpoint between leg and wing would likely have not been specialized enough in either direction to be helpful, so the transition must've been quick/direct and therefore a product of a single large mutation with subsequent refinements. for dragons, i could imagine two stages, with a simpler, smaller wing evolving in a quick first pass -- giving the animal more air time when leaping -- and a second stage of the wings enlarging to provide the capacity for real flight. (either way i'd imagine that dragons, like birds and mammals, would initially be very small and only evolve to their maximum size after the extinction of the dinosaurs.) i'd have to look more into the occurrence of notomelia and what causes it (does it even occur in reptiles/dinosaurs?), to see how realistic it would be for it to occur commonly within a species and produce fully-functioning limbs.

i'm picturing dragons as carnivorous, meaning they'd likely evolve from theropods: this would make sense, given theropods' hollow bones, as well as their evolutionary proximity to birds. with that in mind, having the wings as an extra set of limbs would be especially beneficial, as all four of the animal's legs could be maintained: the hindlegs for running, and the forelegs for grasping (these would necessarily not be tiny like a t-rex's). also, the idea of feathered dragons is a very fun one: imagine the vivid colors and patterns they could have!

in terms of size, we tend to picture dragons as very large -- however, i'd have to keep in mind that the larger the animal, the harder it will be to maintain lift and fly efficiently, especially if the animal in question has more than four limbs to carry in addition to its body. there have been some genuinely huge flying reptiles and birds in existence, such as quetzalcoatlus northropi (~35 ft wingspan, 440-550 lbs weight) and pelagornis sandersi (~20 ft wingspan, 48-44 lbs weight) -- and these awesome animals were able to fly, despite being so massive! there are several factors that would contribute to this, including the giant wingspan and hollow bones. because of the weight of the extra limbs, i doubt a hexapod dragon could grow quite as massive as quetzalcoatlus and still be able to fly well, though i still think it would be possible for them to be very large; it's worth mentioning, too, that having four legs to power liftoff would make it more viable for a dragon to take to the skies at all.

in myth, dragons often breathe fire; i don't think i could manage to find a reasonable biological means of that evolving, though perhaps dragons could evolve to spit venom, which would be a more realistic means of delivering a ranged, burning attack. in flight, the dragon could take down its prey by targeting it with venom, then quickly snatch it up with its forelegs to eat without ever alighting. sounds evolutionarily beneficial to me: very efficient, and very awesome.

tying into the trope of a greedy dragon's hoard, perhaps dragons are especially keen to shiny objects, which they can see from afar: with this mid-flight grasping maneuver, they'd snatch them up to add to a bowerbird-like nest decorated with "treasure". to connect more with myth, dragons are often associated with weather, storms in particular; perhaps dragons migrate at high altitudes during rainy seasons, creating that correlation.

it should be noted, too, that the reality in which i'm picturing these dragons is one in which humans also exist. these humans, witnessing the behaviors of these awe-inspiring creatures, would tell stories about them: they breathe fire (they spit venom), and they abduct children (they snatch up their prey in their claws), and they steal treasure from kings (they take shiny things for their nests), and they control the weather (they migrate during the rainy season). perhaps humans aren't their main prey source, causing dragons to be a fear but not a genuine threat to humans (like how we view sharks); or perhaps dragons indeed regularly eat humans, meaning humans have to live out of sight of them. in the latter case, considering how dragons are highly effective predators, they might drive humans towards extinction!

i hope you enjoyed my spec-bio ramble on the evolution, physiology, and behavior of dragons! it's very fun to think about :)

[gatoburr0]

Another question (two in one day I'm sorry)

Would the fuzzed die out? Like can they reproduce if needed or after all the fuzzed die off would that just be the end and the earth would be empty again until something else rises like how the inklings and octolings originally did?

To add onto that if they can have children would the fuzz actually begin to mutate more and slowly cut out any DNA of what they previously where? As in slowly mutating threw generations and losing any signs that they where inkfish to begin with?

This has been something I’ve been thinking for a while and still can’t explain. I’d really like to explain everything I can with visuals and stuff but I’m scared to talk about sexual topics in social media, even if it’s seen in a scientific and mature perspective, I’ve got a big issue with this since I’m paranoid. But anyways! I’ll refrain from details.

Reproduction is key to keeping the species and the “new world” alive. It’d be stupid to go through all the trouble of making the ooze for mammals to return if they’ll end up dying anyway, Grizz ofc has already thought of this before.

Yes, they can reproduce, and they can create hybrids too, but this obviously requires a male and a female like it naturally is with animals lol. Certainly not hybrids hybrids as in different species (ex. A wolf and a tiger), but yes hybrids as in the same family (ex. A wolf and a hyena).

Something that could possibly disappear in time would be the tentacles, but tentacles have a purpose similar to a tail, so maybe they’d smooth out and lose their flexibility and mobility as generations progress. In other words, inkling and octoling tentacles could just become nothing more but chunks of meat, no suction cups, no squid skin, nothing cephalopod related, just muscle that the fuzzed can’t move.

Their overall humanoid anatomy stays the same because the ooze is pretty comfortable with it. It may deform the hind legs a bit so in a future, posture in hunting becomes so much more convenient and quadrupedalism becomes permanent.

Also, do they mate for life? Depends on the species, but there’s also a few exceptions. Take Pearlina for example, two completely different things, but look at them! As happy as they’ll ever be.

[thebirdart]

Some features of the earth urchins compared to the four hedgehogs of the world of Sonic!

One day I asked myself the question of how would be the anatomy of Sonic and I began to investigate the anatomy of the ground urchins but I liked so many details of them that I put together some characteristics of these animals to compare them with the four hedgehogs of the world of Sonic.

us start!

Starting with obvious facts:

In the world of Sonic only showed to have four hedgehogs; Sonic, Amy, Shadow and Silver, (the green does not count because it is still Sonic)

They all appear to be of a "same species of hedgehog".

For we know 16 types of earth urchins on our planet.

On the other hand I thought Silver was of a different species like Shadow. (By the shape of its spikes) But I don’t see the point, so they must be the same species. Although Shadow might be a little authentic in his design, I’ll explain later.

(Data: the hedgehog Atelerix algirus and the hedgehog Hemiechinus auritus are the ones who take care more to be pets at home)

FOOD

-Ground urchins eat insects, worms, molluscs, snakes, some fruits, small vertebrates, acorns, young birds and eggs.

(the hedgehog thought about it a little before attacking)

-Sonic and the others eat things that could be considered human; chili dogs, coffee beans (this is done by Shadow), strawberry cake (eaten by Amy and Sonic hates it), hamburgers (by SonicBoom), apples (by a drawing of Silver), and so on.

ANATOMY

The ground urchins have very good flexibility, an arched spine and strong and flexible muscles, that allows them to become ball. Comparing it with the deformed hedgehogs (Sonic) there is not much difference since all present good strength and flexibility, except Silver that can not be made ball.

The spikes of hedgehogs are made of keratin, which is a protein substance. I guess the same applies to Sonic and so on. Although in Sonic Unleashed when he is electrocuted we can see that it does not have "bones" in its large spikes, it is a little obvious to know but data that goes without saying.

The skeleton of ground urchins is similar to other mammals, only that its spine is a little more curved, as well as other details; as that its clavicle is well developed so that it can dig hard. This is very different from Sonic’s body and so on as it would resemble more a human structure.

Although also to keep in mind Sonic’s feet are… a closed thing…

By the way the snout and mouth are very different too. Sonic has a snout but the nose and mouth are different from the ground urchin. And another fact: the hedgehogs take incredibly long walks if it is for food; something like 7.2 km/h and if we combine it with the particularity of Sonic being very fast this powerful detail does not overlook.

Time when I jumped out of my spot when I was reading this.

I love this, I have no idea if the creator of Shadow has taken this as a reference but did you know that hedgehogs have a blue border that surrounds their dark eyes? This can only be seen when hedgehogs look to the side. So the great "eyeliner" of Shadow could be a real detail of the animal but taken as a reference to leave it beside your eyes on the outside.

The tail of the common hedgehogs is bare, but the tail of the deformed ones appears to be of the same color as all their other spikes.

I think, canonically, the characters of the Sonic world can mate. But I didn’t see anything that highlighted this, I mean, we can witness Cream’s mother.

Male hedgehogs have a small penis, (bulge), located in what would be their navel and have intra-abdominal testicles (they remain in the abdomen instead of leaving through the scrotum) and the female vulva is a small button that is located in front of the anus.

I guess since they’re characters from the '90s, it’s obvious that this wasn’t thought of at the time of their creation. There’s not much to think about since they’re characters who may or may not wear clothes (Tails-Nine and Sally-Amy) and yet we wouldn’t see anything, not even the nipples! Because hedgehogs have five nipples, both female and male, and you’ll notice that Sonic has nothing.

But I found a picture of Sally where she has more clothes. I suppose it must be a hallmark that female characters wear clothes. (Although Sally is not a canonical character, of course.)

THE 5 SENSES:

Sight: they do not have good view, it is said that hedgehogs have no sense of space, but they can distinguish shapes. Although the hedgehogs are blind and may have collisions with objects, they continue to travel great distances and this does not cause them to slow down, they continue with the same speed as if they had good eyesight.

Smell: very developed, so I guess the four hedgehogs can smell very well from several meters, maybe Sonic can smell Eggman without making noise, will smell of egg?

If you hid a chili dog under the ground in a box, Sonic could find it.

Hearing: the ear of hedgehogs can detect high frequency sounds, their developed sense allows them to locate their prey underground.

Tip: If you saw the Sonic Prime series you will notice that Sonic’s ears move often before a sound. I think a good detail added for the blue hedgehog, this is also added in the IDW comics, I did not find the panel but it is when Amy stays listening to the ground and knows that two hedgehogs are close, those hedgehogs were Shadow and Sonic.

But although hedgehogs have a very sensitive ear I do not consider it the same for the four hedgehogs as they would go crazy at the sounds of Eggman machines, explosions or a simple click of the computer mouse. (Ground urchins get stressed too fast with a simple computer click)

Taste: These animals have a peculiar… sense of taste. They like the taste of a hundred feet. So it’s not uncommon for Shadow to like bitter, for Sonic to like spicy, and for Amy to like sweet, what would Silver like? Healthy or the first thing he finds in his world to eat?

Types of sounds hedgehogs make

Sounds of joy: these little things purr like a cat, and they can even mix it with whistles. Could it be that Shadow purred when he was with Maria?

Bullying sounds: they emit a sound through the nose from a strong breathing, they do it when they feel attacked or are upset. (I don’t know if they thought of it this way when they made Shadow growl annoyingly in Sonic Prime. The same with Amy and Sonic when they got jealous or bothered with each other at Sonic Boom)

Whining sound: when they feel pain they emit a sound like a scream, I could notice this in a video of a hedgehog that was in the water of a bathtub. (although there are always exceptions)

Sleeping sounds: Hedgehogs snore, I guess they all snore too?Hedgehogs fall asleep anywhere. In the Sonic game where Amy’s birthday is celebrated, Tails mentions that Sonic can sleep anywhere, even in the most unusual.

Data: the hedgehogs have nails/claws that they use to dig the earth and since the of Sonic characters are put gloves to not show their hands I think they should not have pads like normal animals but rather human hands. Well, Sticks is the only one I’ve seen without gloves and she’s a badger and badgers have pads. So all Sonic characters should have hands without the characteristics of their species.

BEHAVIOR

The behavior of one ground urchin and the other four is very different, except Shadow, he should stay on the side of the ground urchins.

Since hedgehogs are solitary, they only come together when it’s mating season. (Although Sonic likes to spend time alone…but he’s not a lone wolf like Shadow)

UNGIMIENTO (I couldn’t find the word in English)

When tasting a taste or perceive a new smell, or rare, the animal bites the source of this flavor or smell (Animals, objects, people, whatever) to then make a frothy, thick and white drool that with the tongue are smeared on the side peaks and those near his face. (Scientists don’t know why they do this) If I imagine it for the four deformed hedgehogs maybe this does not exist for them, as they smell new things all the time.

EXTRA DATA: Hedgehogs can swim but they don’t like to stay in the water too long because they can drown, I saw a documentary that mentioned this. I like that touch they gave Sonic that in the water he is scary, I don’t know if it’s something canonical or fandom but it was nice to see him be the only one with a life jacket in the Olympics.

Remember when they did that twitter and tiktok special where they asked Sonic what would happen if he was a worm? Well, hedgehogs eat worms. And did you know that the Egyptian hedgehog is prey to foxes? While it’s another kind of hedgehog this is funny. In Sonic the movie the character Longclaw is the "mother" of Sonic… the funny thing about this is that she is an owl and owls eat hedgehogs.

Who had the idea to give a friend and mother predators to Sonic?

That’s all. I hope you liked these characteristics that I came up with. See you later!

[lilacxquartz]

TO SAVE A BROKEN SOUL • suguru geto x cursed spirit fem!reader

ao3 • masterlist • mdni < previous chapter • next chapter >>

summary: saved by someone who claims to want to help you, your life quickly takes a turn for the worse.

trigger warnings: uncomfortable scenes, dehumanising and objectifying language, violence

Chapter 2. Sinner

Willingly returning back to the temple felt strange for you, especially when facing the curious glance from the girl before again, with another pair of eyes cautiously leaning in from around a corner to look at you.

The girl with darker hair stepped forward towards the monk you kept firmly glued to the side of. Her voice sounded so soft and gentle despite the words that came out of her lips, “Are you going to eat the monster, Geto-sama?”

You paled for a moment.

What could that posstibly mean…?

The man before you stopped for a moment, as if considering the situation and how to calm the two young girls while keeping your presence on the down low. “Not this one,” he replied at last, sensing the girl’s fear towards seeing you, “this one will be working with me personally.”

You felt comfort settle as you didn’t seem to be headed down such a strange route, but at the same time, you still didn’t quite understand what exactly you were brought in for. So far, as you understood it, the two girls could not only see you but didn’t fear you within his company.

This little detail unsettled you.

You weren’t afraid of many things, but this predicament you had found yourself in didn’t sit quite right with you.

And as he led you further away from the outer section of the temple, you couldn’t help but wonder what this strange person truly had in store for you. Working together? You thought you were just helping him satisfy a curiosity. Unless he was being purposefully vague to keep you on the edge. Whatever it was, you didn’t fully trust his intentions.

“Come,” he spoke once again, opening a slotted wooden door, “you’re going to bathe.”

You cautiously padded towards the room, spotting a small square bathtub with no curtain to hide being. The floor was made from bamboo and the window, although concealed by wrapping leaves around the outside of the exterior, still looked outside.

“Can I do it privately?” you asked, settling into the idea. You didn’t need to wash yourself as a cursed spirit, there was very little point in doing so. You didn’t perspire like humans did, and dirt therefore didn’t cling to your skin the same way. The rain that fell washed anything resistant away and due to not being alive in the same way that mammals were, you didn’t smell.

However, you could entertain it to keep your life.

Something told you that he wasn’t going to let you get further than this if you didn’t bathe, at least.

The man, who you had by now determined was referred to as Geto, tilted his head to the side in what appeared to be confusion. His long, cascading black hair hung in the air as his brows furrowed. “You’re a cursed spirit, aren’t you? Why are you being shy?”

“I’m not being shy,” you replied, attempting to stand your ground. You weren’t totally oblivious, knowing exactly what sort of form you had. It was feminine and through your feedings in the past, you understood that the anatomy wasn’t too far off either. “I am wary though,” you admitted, “you should understand why.”

He nodded, although his gaze didn’t wander away. “Sure, you’re a pretty face,” he considered, “but you’re also just a cursed spirit, so anything that I might do to you or not doesn’t actually matter, does it?”

“Is that why you brought me here?” you attempted to call out, trying to find the reason behind his words.

He shrugged. “I’m not being rude. I’m laying out a fact. Cursed spirits can’t feel anything.”

You tried to challenge his claim however, your words carrying some spite as you spoke, “But I might. Not every single one is evil without cause.”

“They all taste the same to me regardless,” he said, leaning back against the wall, his eyes trained on the steaming tub, “like rancid gasoline.”

There he went again, reminding you that you weren’t the only one who had the capacity to feed. You didn’t like that he had reduced your life to just a flavour that he didn’t like in his mouth. It felt demoralising, bleak and hopeless. Perhaps not too unlike how humans felt right before meeting their end.

You couldn’t quite shake the unsettling thought that now coursed through your body, understanding that while he took you in for some sort of strange hidden purpose, that he was going to very likely treat you poorly because of what you were. In his eyes, you were likely disposable because your life didn’t hold the same sort of weight that a human life did, for example.

Yet he emitted some sort of aura that made him call to you—making you drop your guard around him.

Some sort of cursed technique, maybe?

In a resigned sigh, you didn’t prod at the subject for any longer, deciding to get this whole thing over with and despite the lingering discomfort you felt from his eyes settling over your now exposed body, you pressed on, washing yourself under his hungry gaze.

He stared at you with such devotion, almost. His eyes practically worshipping you the longer that he stared. This was shaken off quickly though, his thoughts reminding him of your true nature. How horrid you truly were.

A disgusting sight.

An even more bitter taste.

You weren’t anything special, maybe even below human in his eyes.

Even despite the looks he gave you and the things your body made him feel. The way your curves sloped, the way that water rolled off of your skin—no, this wasn’t right. You weren’t right.

You were simply below him.

~~~

The next morning, he led you someplace else, guiding you off to another location. You didn’t in particular like it there either, finding that the stares of the people he acquainted with were nothing short of hateful.

Pulling you off to an airy room with a small stage, he explained your divine purpose to you with concerning detail.

“My role is to… deceive people?” you asked, not quite understanding, “Most people can’t see me, though.”

Suguru tilted his head at you, his voice dripping with a sarcastic tone, “That’s the whole point,” he smiled, glancing at one of the attending members, “I would like to be perceived as a higher power to those unsuspecting and unaware. Maybe even a deity amongst simple monkeys.”

You frowned in response for two reasons in mind. First, you didn’t want to be around humans for an extended amount of time for obvious excuses and second, for his own stated desire. Just who was this man actually and why did he seem so much worse than you?

He had the audacity to call you disgusting and yet, he spoke of himself so highly.

…Why did he have to bring you here?

“You see,” he continued, “people’s beliefs can be fragile, but that’s why in religions, miracles must happen and also… punishments.”

Just before taking you here, he did brief you on earlier with a threat to ensure your compliance. You understood fully why you felt confused around this man now and it was likely due to his cursed technique. The same reason humans feel strangely at peace before death, was likely what you felt when it felt like he was close to using it. A false salvation, a doomed hope if not only a means to an untimely end.

“You have other cursed spirits for this sort of job, don’t you?” you pressed with that information still fresh in your mind, hoping he would give you a better answer than the meaningless ones he had been giving you so far.

“True, I have my… collection,” he mused, crossing his arms in consideration, “but they act more as tools rather than helpers. I can command them to fight, to feed, to… kill, but they can’t perform miracles. That’s where you come in.”

Holding onto a sceptical tone you continued to prod, “And how could I possibly accomplish that?”

Suguru smiled at your linear way of thinking. He supposed that you couldn’t help it. “Do something positive, no matter how small. Or do something terrible, no matter how evil. These fools will interpret even the smallest act as a sign from something greater.”

You exhaled deeply, continuing to feel trapped. He was revealing his intentions to you as though you were just another one of his tamed spirits, yet you were free. Being so often around humans wasn’t something you wanted to be doing, finding the situation almost agitating.

“For example,” Suguru continued, his eyes catching onto a random man that stood in a small crowd nearby. “What do you pray for?”

The man hesitated from the sudden question, but answered the question anyway, “Wealth…?”

Clicking his tongue disapprovingly, Suguru scoffed, “Such a selfish desire, but let’s see if it’s granted shall we?” he dramatically gestured, his sights pointed at you but you didn’t know what exactly this meant. He brought you here with very little context and zero guidance.

Returning to you, he quietly reminded you in a very flat tone that he could either exorcise you or you could, you know, feed, right on the man that he had just spoken to. That he didn’t deserve this wish anyway, because if you couldn’t understand—being what you are—that selfish wishes like that aren’t worthy of miracles but punishments instead.

“I know you’re barely holding back,” he whispered, trying to tempt you, “think of just how good it’ll finally feel to give in, to not worry about consequences.”

And just like a cornered animal with a desperate desire to carry on living, you gave into instinct once again.

You couldn’t even help it.

Acting out of desperation, you reluctantly moved forward as an opportunity to sate your burning hunger had been so freely presented to you. Oh, how tempting it was to give in, to bite into flesh, to drink such thick red blood as though it was red wine—you felt so drunk, intoxicated even—as you chewed against disfigured flesh, but then, you heard it.

Screams. A lot of them. Gasps and shudders and an atmosphere of boiling dread; a feeling that both continued to intoxicate you while sickening you at the same time.

Albeit reluctantly, you pulled away from your feral stupor while still grinding against bloodied flesh, licking the blood that dried quickly over your lips. You couldn’t help but feel a wave of disgust roll over you as you backed away, with wide eyes as you surrendered to a lapse of something you didn’t want to become just yet.

(As long as you remained aware, you could remain in control. As long as you didn’t give into your instincts, you could still be you. That’s all it took. Yet, he sought to take it away from you under the false impression of becoming a god.)

In your heavily heaving state, swallowing the last bit of meat, you watched on as the man who took you in, who stared hungrily at you the same way you did at flesh, that claimed to be disgusted by you all at the same time—approach and ask someone else, repeating the same sort of question to them and snorting, hearing a finally acceptable answer.

“Good, that’s a good answer,” he praised, even if his tone did carry a hint of disgust, his eyes blank when talking to what seemed to be just regular people. “Why, it even appears that there might just be a miracle in store for you later on, but first, let’s get this… mess cleaned up.”

Gesturing for someone to come and clean up the unfortunate aftermath, he finally led you away. It wasn’t like he was completely oblivious to what you could potentially become, but that’s why the punishments would be just as rare as the miracles.

After all, if such things were a little too frequent, then what meaning could they possibly have?

~~~

this is part 2 of lilac’s bite sized yandere nightmares

[yakumtsaki]

AND WE'RE BACK. My cancerous thyroid might have briefly cucked me, but now I'm about to cuck every goddamn semi-incestuous couple in this house. Isn't that right, Baby?

-CAWK CAWK

Exactly! Baby here is a parrot that Meadow rolled the want for and I was like sure, what problems could a parrot possibly cause?

-OPEN THIS DOOR. SOMEONE OPEN THIS DOOR FOR ME. OPEN IT RIGHT NOW OPEN IT OPEN IT

Um it should open automatically for you wtf?

-OPEN THE DOOR, MAMMAL TRASH, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING

Ok Baby seriously why won't the doors open for you?

-I DON'T KNOW BUT I WILL STAY HERE AND PREVENT EVERYONE FROM GOING TO CLASS BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO STUPID TO USE THE OTHER DOOR

Alright then, clearly there's only one solution to this..

Perfection.

-Um, what happened to the door?

-IT ASKED TOO MANY STUPID QUESTIONS. OUT OF THE WAY, HUMMIE SCUM

Well, Baby was clearly a much needed addition to this house. Now, to the main event: an end to the Year of Sin!

NOP, NEVERMIND, SPOKE TOO SOON, MUST DO THIS INSTEAD. We invite Good Witch over for Spice and she asks to bring a friend and it's FUCKING MALCOLM. LMAO. I simply have to, I can't resist-

-Well well well, if it isn't the famous Malcolm Landgraab IV, the finest intergenerational concubine the world has ever seen!

-Huh?

-You were too much of a straggot to date my father, but I know you won't be able to resist the charms of the much better looking son!

-What?

-God, the conversation is just crackling with sexual tension!

-So, Malc, I believe we should make out. Thoughts?

-Where are those fucking butterflies coming from?

-Your stomach? ;)

No, they're from the Good Witch, my bad y'all.

After many, MANY hours of talking, Malcolm finally accepts a lame wolf whistle-

-but our efforts are interrupted by Felina returning from class. WILL YOU GIVE IT A FUCKING REST FOR ONE DAY

-NEVER

-Sorry kid, but if Malcolm Landgraab is to ever consider bisexuality, it will be for someone who can beat up his own sister.

Wtf kinda rule is that you freak?? You know what, just gtfo-

-NO. Stay here, Malcolm, I'd like to hear stories about you and great-great grandma Victoria!

-Oh wow, now that was a real woman. She could hold her liquor, she could whore around, she could beat up anyone.. No man could ask for anyone more feminine!

You are so right, Malcolm, the only one to ever do it better was Long John Silver!

Ok seriously Barth is there a plan here, why are we wasting valuable time on platonic interactions with this loser?

-I just have a feeling true love will prevail!

What are you even talking about-

UM PWND @ ME WTF. ACR DOES IT AGAIN WITH LITERAL NEGATIVE CHEMISTRY LOL

OH FUCK YES TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. Two Babies with one stone if you will!

-HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME, YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD

Ya ok GROSS but finally we can put this behind us, 1 down, 200 more to go. Cyan go back to your other cousin-lover while you still can because I'm breaking you up too!

-Don't have to tell me twice!

Ugh.

-Hmmm...

What now, Barth.

-Nothing, I just keep forgetting I actually have two eyes.

Ya, you and me both.

-But now that I possess peripheral vision, I see there's so much to be done in this house.

You have set yourself on fire multiple times, please stop with the household tasks, that's why we have a butler.

-But he never actually does anything!

Yes well, his main job is to answer the door and we no longer have one, but it's still money well spent.

-WELL I WILL FIX THE DISHWASHER OR DIE TRYING

-BARTH NO I STILL LOVE YOU

-FUCK YOU SUNSET, YOU BROKE MY HEART BY SLEEPING WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND. HE'S NOT EVEN RELATED TO YOU

Barth no offense but I think I'm ready for your next electrocution to take you out.

-As am I!

-And I!

-GETTING SLAPPED MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY IS STARTING TO AFFECT MY MENTAL HEALTH HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP

You could stop being Satan incarnate?

-No, there has to be a better way!

-How about I sleep with the boyfriend of the only cousin in this house who doesn't already hate me?

Yes, absolutely, and please take another crack at fixing the dishwasher when you're done.

[pinguwrites]

Kinktober 2023 | Day Four — Neil Lewis + grinding, semi-public

Pairing -> boyfriend!neil lewis x girlfriend!reader

Warnings -> smut (minors dni), semi-public sex, handsy neil

KINKTOBER 2023 MLIST

Disclaimer: Watching the Detectives characters, plots, quotes, etc. do not belong to me and belong to the rightful owner(s). This is only fanfiction and this is just for fun.

Neil’s lips parted for a moment, watching as you swirled your tongue around your lollipop. He swore up and down that you were doing this on purpose. Your licks couldn’t possibly be that precise and seductive, your lips closing over the head and lifting off with a little pucker. This had to be some sort of trick, something to get him all worked up just so you could tease him later about it. 

“Can you stop doing that?” Neil said, keeping his voice down so the others in the park couldn’t hear him. He had attempted to come off as stern, but his tone was weak. “Please?” he added.

He wasn’t sure how much longer it would take for him to get a hard-on, but it was surely coming. He felt like a pathetic school boy, seeing a pretty girl by the lockers only to rush off to the bathroom to take care of his business. 

You were confused, not the expression he’d been hoping for. “I don’t . . .” you trailed off, eyes glazing over the tent in his pants. You grinned at the realization. “I see. Poor Neil. All because of some lollipop, hmm?”

You gave your candy another lick, before tossing it in the nearby garbage can. You stood up and started walking, prompting your boyfriend to follow you.

Neil swallowed, admitting it. “Yeah.” He grabbed your jacket, which had been hung over the bench, and tied it around his waist. “Please, can we go somewhere else?”

“Home?”

“No,” he whined. “That’s too far. Can’t we just . . .” He tried to make some hand motions, something that would explain his intentions better than his words, but it didn’t work. He glanced over at the public restrooms.

“In the bathroom?” you asked, eyes a little wide and tone amused. “So dirty.”

“Not the bathroom.” He sighed, his cheeks turning a bright red. He grabbed your hand and lead you over to a brick wall by the stalls, guiding you to the opposite of it, one that was cut off from the rest of public view.

He pinned you against the wall, hands gripping your waist, and then rolled his hips against your body, letting out a low groan. “Ahhh, stay still.”

You didn’t protest at his sudden behavior, letting out a whimper, putting your hands around his neck. “Neil,” you whispered. “Don’t stop.”

“I don’t plan to, baby,” he said in your ear, grinding his clothed cock between your legs, brushing his buldge up against your sensitive clit. “Not when you tease me like this in public.”

“Wasn’t teasin’ you,” you sighed. “You’re just horny.”

He chuckled, eyes fluttering shut. “Yeah, I’m your horny boyfriend. Can’t help it.”

He continued rutting up against you, like an animal in heat, leaving sloppy, wet kisses down your neck.

Neil did these kinds of things often. He specifically loved grinding. Sometimes when you were both in bed he would rub up against your ass after a wet dream, or press up against a pillow when he thought you weren’t watching. You suspected it was something about the instinct, his desire to get off like a dumb mammal.

You didn’t mind at all. In fact, you told him that when you first started dating.

Neil’s pace got more desperate and loose, hands running all up and down your body, sneaking his way in your bra to cup your breasts. He liked to feel how soft you were, to squeeze your flesh and pinch your skin. He was handsy man, always wanting to touch you and hold you in his arms.  

Oh, baby, he thought, noticing how wet his underwear was. I could do this all day.

Taglist:

@rainyforest777

@thatwitchybitch420

@madeinuk

@gentyleman

@henrywintersdearestgirl

[screamingatanemptyroom]

An Unlikely Visitor

It was a quiet night at home when:

Knock! Knock! Knock!

I jumped to my feet and I glanced at the clock.

“Who could it be at this late time?

Whoever it is, they’re no friend of mine!”

I sat back down and planned to ignore,

The very rude sound of knocking at the door.

But it just doesn’t cease, this mad knocking game.

Despite no reaction, they knocked all the same.

I walked to the door and got ready to see

Who could this mysterious visitor be?

I opened the door and I froze up with fright!

It was a walrus who sat on my porch that night!

“How rude,” said the walrus. “It’s not nice to stare.”

“I’m sorry.” I responded, “I’ve received quite the scare!

I wasn’t expecting a walrus, you see,

But if you like you can come in and join me for tea.”

The mammal waddled in without further delay

And began to complain in a very walrus-like way.

“Your home is too small, your chair is too high!

Where are the fish?” He demanded with a cry.

I offered him tea but it was knocked to the ground

As he began to break things with a terrible sound!

With a CRASH!

And a Smash!

And a smack, crush, and Clash!

The walrus soon turned my belongings to trash.

And with a wave of his fin and a snort of his snout,

“What a poor host, I’ll see myself out!”

As quick as he came, just as quickly was gone.

Leaving a mess and walrus-tracks on my lawn.

And as I looked at the pile the walrus had made

I was taken aback by the price I had paid.

And from this one bad night there’s a lesson to learn.

In case there’s a knock and you find it’s your turn

Never host a walrus, keep them out of your home!

If you want to protect the things that you own.

You can offer them fish but never give tea

They won’t like it one bit, you can take it from me.

And if you think to yourself “This story’s not right!

A walrus can’t come to my house in the night!”

I admit it’s unlikely, i thought so before…

But still it’s more likely than a fairy at the door.

[ofallthingsnasty]

a/n: Someone asked for more of Doflamingo's family pet - unfortunately I accidentally deleted the ask, but as I actually keep a physical list of all the asks I need to get to, it hasn't been lost! I hope this finds its way to you, anon 😘💖

tags: heavy dehumanization, weird pet metaphors, unreliable narrator, noncon, violence, minors dni, death (not yours), fat gn reader, vomit mention, read the tags and read them twice, just some thoughts

word count: 1.1k

Doflamingo thinks himself a good owner.

You're clean, well-groomed, clothed, fed and loved. Entertained, too. He stuffs you into your crate only at night - even if he has to leave you behind (which he rarely does), you stay with the rest of the family, not in that little cage. He's responsible. Loving. Tender.

But even he can forget about some things.

Maybe it should have been obvious, since you haven't been neutered. But to his defense, it's rather easy to forget that you, when stripped down, are just a mammal - blunt little teeth, yappy antics and bug-eyed, watery stares fool him so easily, make you sexless and too cute to have any needs of your own. And with his frequent appetites sated and you chewing through the leather of his newest chaise, you're just his mutt, feisty but spoiled. And really, who likes to think about their precious little darling dog being aroused? Not him, that's for sure. You're supposed to be something soft to spoil, something to lighten up his days.

Unfortunately, his pesky habit of kicking you whenever you drool just a little too much on his expensive pants (among other things) leads to the discovery of uncomfortable truths. One peculiarly placed hit, and something happens that he never expected - you yelp in pain, and then it climbs out of your throat, grotesque and breathy. A moan. And suddenly, something occurs to him. Makes him go down the lane of unsavory thoughts he never wanted to have when it comes to you.

He has neglected you. Greatly.

In all these years, he has been nothing but selfish - always enjoyed someone hanging off his arm, someone to warm his bed - while you had gone without, never had the possibility to get some relief. That's why you're getting winded over a simple kick to your crotch, poor, pathetic little thing. It's so wrong, so fucking depraved - he didn't train you to be so needy, to have to find pleasure in something so brutish. Yet here you are. Writhing in pain and something else as you try to shield your most sensitive parts from further intrusions.

He's suddenly going silent, brooding above you. Something needs to be done, he realizes.

The answer seems obvious - he should get you someone you can play around with, to let off steam, to indulge in the cruder parts of your nature. At first, the thought is appalling, but the more he ruminates and lets different scenarios play in his head, the more he sees that it has to be done. And it could be quite a bit of fun for him as well, if done correctly.

Arrangements are made almost too easily.

It's only fair that he gets you someone from that heap of trash you called your home. Maybe you even knew each other, before he found a place on his lap for you - it matters not, as long as the specimen is someone you would have fucked way back when he first took you. Doflamingo figures the man is up to your tastes, picks someone who looks healthy and strong. After all, he only wants the best for you - if he gets to pick his entertainment du jour, why shouldn't he at least get you someone appealing? (He also doesn't need any suspicious activity on Dressrosa, especially because he doesn't intend to have the man turned into a toy. He has his own visions for this - but that's not for little lap dogs like you to know.)

The male is taken, Doflamingo's room prepared and you - naive, stupid, and stunted that you are - follow him as you always do and walk right into his trap. It's nothing elaborate, really. But it does the job. Just the bound male, a flick of his wrist to restrain and oh-

He can play with the two of you like puppets. Of course, you're all confused. He rarely (if ever) uses his powers on you, so the sudden restraints feel like some sort of betrayal. Your big eyes question him, looking somehow even more pathetic underlined by your fat cheeks. He doesn't know if he should tut or laugh at you, that's how delicious your expression is - and it gets better and better as he tears your flimsy, carefully picked out pants apart. You are so utterly shocked, so taken by surprise it looks like you're short-circuiting. Only when the bigger man pounces on you - because Doflamingo is making him do so - you try to kick, bite, scratch, suddenly coming back to reality. But poor little fat pup, you're breathless and limp after a few minutes of struggle against his restraints and heave out your tears when your breath leaves you behind. Your fat ass up in the air, you can do very little with the way he's holding you in position.

You have to let it happen, even as the snot pools on the floor.

It's for your own good. And to his great amusement. He keeps you like this, makes the man mount you, fuck you, defile you - keeps intently watching the scene in front of him, the way you blubber and cry out. It's kind of cute, really - you're both crying. Like some grotesque version of two young lovers taking each other's virginity, you're both stuttering out apologies and clutching what is closest to you, even if that is your ass in his case.

It gets boring rather quickly, though. And rather tiring on the hands, too.

So he lets the male go - who gets cross-eyed faster than he can realize he's been freed because there is suddenly a pistol aimed directly at his forehead. If he was crying before, he's downright hysterical now. It doesn't leave you unfazed, either - Doflamingo's precious little mutt is suddenly deadly silent, too afraid to squeak out even a tiny moan. A precious sight to him. Especially when the man finally pumps his load into you, his orgasm flat and fast and unsatisfying, because it's ripped from him entirely due to the way his body functions, not because this is in any way enjoyable to him. Doflamingo smiles as the male huffs out a sigh, weighing himself in a moment of false security and-

He pulls the trigger.

You scream - but only a second later, only when the man goes limp above you, only when blood and brains splatter all over your back. You scream and scream and scream until you're hoarse, until your voice gets wet underneath the vomit that suddenly leaves you. Doflamingo would click his tongue at the sight if he wasn't so busy laughing at your predicament. Really, he had forgotten how fun it is to terrorize you a little, had forgotten how quaint it can be when your stupid face goes from empty stupidity to sheer and utter fear, the kind one can taste on their tongue. You can be so entertaining when pushed a little and he can't help but revel in the tiniest sliver of nostalgia as he looks at you, beaten down and traumatized like the day he took you.

Still, he's getting you neutered the next chance he gets.

[beastofburdenxo]

Rest A While

So here I am dipping my toe into writing for cooper Howard/the ghoul. I got inspiration from reading a Hc that the ghoul is crazy about hair since he has none. take from that what you will. No smut but pretty suggestive.

Tags: Body worship, Praise, body hair, pubic hair kink?, sexy cowboy, pet names

Cooper likes touching you, and one night you ask him why, leading to a confession from the sexy cowboy

Ever since you and Cooper decided to get close, you have noticed something about him. Anytime you two stop for a rest or even just when you are in close vicinity, Cooper likes to pet you. He’ll just innocently stroke your hair, or rub your arm. When its night and he allows a campfire and you're in his lap; his hands slowly make their way up and down your legs. Never going too high, just slightly above the knee and back down to your ankle. When you are almost asleep, you can feel him stroking your back. Nice and slow, like Cooper is trying to play this moment to memory.  

One night, you decide to get brave and ask what his deal is. You two are camped in an abandoned gas station. Cooper has pulled you into his lap and begins his petting ritual. “Hey Coop, why do you do that?” you ask as his rough hand makes his way to your knee. “Do what darlin’?” You squirm not knowing how to word this. “You know, pet me? Like you would a dog?” Cooper stops, a grin ghosting his features in the passing sunset. “Pet you like a dog huh? Didn’t know you was into that sort of thing.” You swat his arm at his deflection. “Seriously, you are always touching and rubbing on me. I don’t mind I'm just curious is all.” 

“Promise you won’t laugh?” 

“Cross my heart, Coop. Now spill.” 

“You are just so soft is all. I can’t help myself sweetheart.” 

“Soft? You can’t quit touching because I'm soft?” 

Cooper looks away bashfully. “You are darlin, especially compared to me. I can’t help myself. It amazes me how you have managed to stay buttery soft out here in the elements. Between your sweet skin and the softness of your hair-” Cooper cuts himself off, hoping you didn’t catch that last part. If he could blush with embarrassment he would.  

“Hair? Like the hair on my head? Or body hair?!”   

Your eyes get big at his confession. “You actually like all of my hair?” 

“Damn it, just forget it. Okay?” 

You sense Cooper’s Un comfort at this turn of conversation. You gently touch his face and make him look at you. “I’m sorry Coop. I didn’t mean to upset you, I'm just curious. Please tell me. I’ve never had a man be so obsessed over something as simple as hair before.” 

“Now that is a damn shame sweetie.” Cooper goes back to petting your leg. “I haven’t had a single hair on my body in hundreds of years. After so many decades you forget just how soft it is you know? And yours is especially downy honey. Like a baby duck if you can picture that. Hair makes you a mammal, it’s what makes you a woman, and I love every single strand.”  

You pause in thought. “In the vaults, we removed all our hair. It was like a sanitary thing. I had no idea keeping something like that could be so sexy.” 

Cooper kisses your forehead. “I consider it a crime against humanity the day it was decided women should be hairless. I’m very old sweetness, and in my day that was unheard of. Everyone had hair.” 

Cooper gets close and whispers in your ear seductively, “On one than more occasion, it crossed my mind to use your pretty little bush as a pillow and rest a while.”  

You turn red at this confession and it makes Cooper chuckle. “I bet its better than any feather pillow on the market. Hell, you would have to make me get up and walk at sunrise. I’d be downright useless, drowning in your essence. I thought that the first time you shyly opened yourself to me” Cooper’s words are doing something to you. You’ve never experienced such infatuation. You want to indulge him for spilling his guts to you. 

“Would you like to try it? M-My bush as a pillow?” You stutter, parroting his phrase. 

Cooper takes you in his arms and gives you a kiss. “You don’t have to ask me twice, My fuzzy little peach.” You giggle at this as he gently lays you on his duster. His strong hands pull your pants off, not looking away from you for a second.  

Right before he takes your panties off, he asks once more, “Are you sure about this sweetheart? I’m going to get very addicted to doing this you know. It's like a dream come true.” You raise your leg and touch his face with your calf. “I’m sure Coop. Enjoy your new pillow.” 

“Yes Ma’am” 

Cooper peels your panties off your legs and admires the view with a low whistle. “There she is. A sight I never tire of.” He glides up your body and gives you a goodnight kiss. “Sweet dreams darlin’, thank you for this.” 

“Good night. Rest a while cowboy.”  

Cooper goes face first into your softness. You’re not even sure how he’s breathing. But, true to his word, he sleeps soundly all night. Not a single stir from him. And, like a man, of his word, you had to make him get up in the morning.  

[moon-buggg]

In your alien abduction au, you said the boys would be surprised to find out humans eat three meals a day plus snacks, could it be because of our warm blood? That's why, irl, mammals and birds eat more than reptiles and amphibians, because we need more energy to maintain our body temperature, and you said Sun and Moon are kinda of like an amphian species, and that's why they dont eat so much?

This also brings some quirks, because warm blooded beings comes with some kind of way to protect themselves from temperature shifts around them (to maintain their internal heat stable), like fur, feathers and fat, your boys know fur and maybe feathers too but, some species have their own little ways to do it too, like a dogs breathing, but humans, we almost completely lost our fur, that's because we sweat. Do you think sweat and/or oily skin would be strange for them? You said their skin isn't humid like one of an amphian is, but they still use of external enviroment modifications to make themselves confortable, your fic shows it, so would they get weirded out by the strange salty water we produce to lower our temperature? Or the oil to keep our skin from cracking, even in dry places? Im pretty sure humans are the only species to sweat on earth, not sure though, so would that be like, a new thing they've never seen before? Or just rare? Would we shivering from cold get the same reaction?

Sorry it's long, but ever sinse you said they are like amphibians i've been thinking about how sensitive they are, not saying they are fragile thought, dinossaurs were a thing here and we still have crocodiles and aligators, and your boys are big, strong, have claws and teeth, the whole thing, im speaking more of how they are dependent on the external enviroment. Amphibians and reptiles live mostly in hot and humid places because it's easy to regulate themselves like this, but even the ones adapted to harsher ambiances, if they change places they will die. So imagine they are going to a colder planet, im not talking about freezing cold, just 5 or 10°C (50° fahrenheit), we can survive without clothes there, but they need a whole suit to warm them up, because even if a jacket would keep most of the cold out, they dont have internal heat, so they would still freeze at some point.

I think im overthinking. I like your au 👉👈

Welcome to speculative biology, where the fun is the other thinking lol

I do imagine they're cold blooded, yeah. Maybe not in exactly the same way earth animals are (I gotta dig in and do some biology research before I can say anything about their biology for sure-). But the habitable places of their planet largely don't get cold enough to freeze, so there wasn't much evolutionary pressure to evolve adaptations for keeping yourself warm, and then once they evolved to make tools they just... never went to the cold dry parts of the planet. Why bother? But again I am planning to do a masterpost with their definitive biology one of these days that has actual like, scientific explanations

They'd probably be grossed out by sweat yeah, even if theyve seen it before. Other species do sweat, tho, even on earth! Hippos and horses and other apes. Even cats and dogs sweat a little bit on their paws, it's just not their primary method of cooling down. I'd imagine shivering isn't that unusual though, but still probably kinda weird to the boys.

But yeah they don't do too well in the cold. I don't imagine they've ever seen snow in person. The main thing is that they aren't a one to one with any earth animal because their evolutionary line and pressures were so different. So I really gotta do some research before I say anything too definitive here lol because who knows where I'll end up

[bittercoffeeonmykeyboard]

Pushing Buttons

The Riddler x Fem!Reader

Summary - The Riddler pushed a few too many of your buttons, and you accidentally pushed a couple of his. Pent up frustrations lead to... surprising developments.

Authors Note - Reader is referred to as "Kestrel." Genitals and pronouns for the reader aren't specified, but reader is also referred to as "Ma'am," so I figured it would be alright to specify fem!reader and FemDom. Can be read as GN!reader. This Riddler is not from any specific media, but inspired by ArkhamVerse and CodotVerse.

Warnings - NSFW 18+, Canon-Typical Violence, Dub-con, Hand-job, Hair pulling, Blood, Grinding, Biting, FemDom, Dom/Sub Dynamics, Enemies to Lovers and back to Enemies, Hate-Fucking (without actually fucking), Degradation, Reader Insert, Kinda verges on OC Insert, No use of Y/N

Word Count - 3.1k

Beta Reader/Editor - @timesnewreader

The crackle of a shitty connection stabbed your ears suddenly, as you were crouching in the rafters of the warehouse.

"Is that the sound of a bird trapped in my warehouse? Someone call pest control!" The Riddler quipped, invading your earpiece. You clenched your jaw.

"Watch out, I might have rabies." you shot back, thoroughly over this already. Your eyes scanned the building from your perch, searching for a hidden entrance or exit.

"Hah! Only mammals can contract rabies, Kestrel. And here I thought that was common sense?" Fucking hell. Time to find him, sooner than later preferably.

"You think you're so fucking smart-" You began.

"Think? No, I know I am, darling." He grinned through the radio, ego echoing in the earpiece.

"I'm going to beat the shit out of you." You growled as you started to leap through the rafters as quietly as possible.

"You're welcome to try, if you can find me! Too bad you can't keep up with my marvelous intellect."

His grating voice and laugh echoed in your coms.

"Kestrel. Everything alright?" Batman's voice broke over the Riddler's fading laugh.

A heavy sigh. "It's fine. Everything is in control." You reported. "We should have Oracle check our radio security. Riddles keep finding their way into my ears, so to say." A pause.

"Understood. I'll bring that up to her soon. However, the sooner you find him, the sooner that stops happening. Good luck." A beep followed his words, and Batman closed the line.

Really. Really?

"'The sooner you find him, the sooner that stops happening', oh fucking hell, Bats." You mocked. It's not your fucking fault he keeps escaping, and then deciding to make it your issue. A bubble of frustration rose in your chest.

You started to close in on a vent above a well-disguised room, dropping down next to it as silently as possible. Which, considering how frustrated both Riddler and Batman just made you, left you quite impressed with yourself.

You fiddled with your coms controls for a second, opening a channel with the rest of the group on patrol. "I'll be off coms for a while. I have a bone to pick with the Riddler." You paused, before adding "I shouldn't be long."

You closed the line and pulled the earpiece out, readying yourself. With a loud bang, you opened the vent and dropped into the room.

"Well would you look at what the Bat dragged in-"

He was cut off by a grappling hook to the ankle, accented by a thud when his body hit the ground. Your fist would have met his face if he hadn't rolled out of the way, scrambling to his feet. "I have to give you credit-"

Your foot interrupted him with almost breaking his nose. Just glanced him. Damn.

"You found me! And quicker than expected-" He levied his cane and swung for your skull. You ducked, and hooked his ankle out from under him. He hit the ground again, but hooked your own ankle and you landed on your ass. He shuffled to try and get to his feet again, and you flipped over to claw at his leg, dragging him back towards you. He swiftly tried to kick you, and landed a solid kick on your shoulder.

"Truly, one could say-" You reached to grab his arm, and he whacked your head with his cane. "Your intellect is almost on par with-" He managed to roll away form you again. "Your viciousness!" He landed a strong kick to your ribs, making you roll and groan.

You both staggered to your feet, a good six feet between you now. "You talk too much." He brandished his cane like a baseball bat. You lifted your fists, feeling rage and excitement mix in your chest.

"Now where's the fun in silence?" You barked out a laugh, before lunging forward. He swung his cane for your ribs, and you blocked it with your hand, grabbing it and pulling him into a punch, cracking his nose. "AH!"

To his merit he recovered quickly, staggering into a defensive stance as you went to kick at his ribs, managing to dodge with a jump backwards. You both still had a hold on his cane and you used both hands to drag him forward, off balance, twisted and threw him over yourself and onto his back. He landed with a cough, the impact releasing his grip on his cane.

You quickly followed him down, pinning his arms down with his own cane and straddling his waist.

"You are the most annoying man in the world. Your puzzles are shit, your ego is shit, and you deserve to get the shit beat out of you." Riddler seemed dazed, his breathing was quick and blood was starting to trickle out from his nose from your punch. "You're weak, your whole ethos sucks, and the only thing moderately acceptable about you is your sense of style, if only you weren't focused on inflating your own sense of self worth by ruining people's lives."

You spat each word at him, glaring down at him. Your breathing came heavy, filled with the adrenaline of the fight and fire of your words.

The Riddler stared up at you, eyes wide and face flushed. His face kept twitching, as if he was stuck between two expressions, unable to settle on one. "Is that all?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing as he smirked.

You removed one hand from the cane, leaning forward to pin him more securely as you grabbed his face. "You wish." You sneered down at him, piercing his eyes with yours. "Every single one of your stupid riddles and puzzles has been solved, every time. Makes you think that maybe, oh, they aren't that hard? Your riddles are easy and if you're trying to be a villain, you're failing. You're a nuisance at best, and a danger to society at worst. Maybe you should like, get better? Get better at doing the thing you made your entire identity around."

He was taking short panting breaths, face thoroughly flushed. You let go of his face and he licked his lips, catching some of the blood from his nose and smearing it. Your eyes caught on the motion, before pinning his eyes once again. His pupils were blown, and he chuckled. "Well! That's not very nice, now is it?" His legs shifted behind you, and you felt the movement from where you sat on his waist. He swallowed. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that words hurt?"

You scoffed. "You're one to talk." You leaned back, releasing some of the pressure on his wrists, and instead placing your free hand over his throat. Not pressing, but threatening to. To your surprise, he didn't immediately try to break free from his position. Shifting slightly, you felt something press against you from behind. His eyelids fluttered at the pressure and a quiet exhale left his lips. Realization dawned on you. "You're fucking disgusting." A disbelieving chuckle left you, as you suddenly found yourself nervous.

"Never claimed I wasn't, darling." He lilted, a smirk on his lips. "What can I say? Your physical prowess and verbal assault left me defenseless. I pushed your buttons, and you pushed mine." He breathed out a chuckle, and you felt it resonate beneath your hand. "If, if you'd like…" He hesitated, gazing up and down your body, before meeting your eyes again, half-lidded. "We could push each others' buttons some more?"

The suggestion sent blood rushing to your face, and loathe were you to admit it, warmth began pooling between your legs. Your hand twitched and tightened over his neck briefly, drawing a tiny moan from the Riddler. Shock at the noise caused you to release the cane and his neck, leaving his hands free suddenly. He took this opportunity to grab your wrist and roll the two of you, flipping positions.

"Ooo, see? This could be fun!" He pinned your wrist, and traced his free hand down to your hip. "A little push, a little pull, and we're off to the races." His face came close you yours, breath ghosting over your cheeks as you felt your chest stutter. Arousal mixed with anger at his audacity, heating up with a dash of shame at letting him flip your positions.

A smirk that came off as more of snarl danced on your face, and you hooked your legs over his hip and gripped his hair, dragging him down as you flipped the two of you yet again, landing him beneath you with a breathy groan. You hand firmly found his throat again as you grinned. "Bold of you to assume you'll have any control." You punctuated your statement with a harsh grind of your hips against his, drawing out a pathetic moan. "You'll do as I say, brat. Understand?"

He nodded and swallowed, breathless.

"Speak up."

"Y- yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes… ma'am?"

Another grind of the hips. "Good." A fire was lit in your abdomen, seeing him like this. Oh, the things you'll do to this man.

You grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him up to face you, noses nearly touching. "You're pathetic." Your lips ghosted over his, before meeting as you went to bite down on his bottom lip, keeping it trapped between your teeth as you rutted against him, reveling in the friction and his gasping moans. His hands fluttered at your hips, unsure. You slapped them away, and started pulling at his jacket and shirt. He quickly started helping you strip him until he lay before you, bare-chested. You released his lower lip to instead start trailing bites down his neck. He damn near moaned with every bite, and it was driving you wild. When you reached the junction of his neck and shoulder, you bit hard and rolled your hips, listening to the pretty little mewl he let out. You continued rolling your hips as you licked the bite, savouring the friction against your core. You could practically feel him twitch beneath you.

"Does it feel good, brat?" The Riddler nodded. "Are you so pathetic that me grinding against you is enough? "

"N… Not enough- please…."

You dragged your hand down his chest, his stomach, and down further as you drank in the flustered look on his face. His lip was caught in his teeth, trying to reign in his gasps. You shifted from straddling his pelvis to one of his thighs, guiding your knee to put gentle pressure on him. He blinked heavily and gazed through his lashes up at you. A cheeky grin crossed his lips.

"If I knew you had this in you, I think I would've tried harder to piss you off, darling."

Your hand reached the hem of his pants, tracing them. You popped open the button and slowly, slowly dragged the zipper down.

"If I knew you would've tried something like this, I would've cuffed you earlier."

With that you shove your hand past the hem and down his pants, cutting off whatever reply would've left his lips and replacing it with a choked moan. He shuddered and threw his head back. The touch of your hand had his dick twitching, you could feel his pulse as you gripped his length. It was hot in your grip. A single pump from base to head and you could feel the precum leaking from his tip. He brokenly mewled and grasped at your suit, finding purchase on your shoulder. His expression was wrecked, pupils blown and eyebrows pinched, chest heaving as he leaned his head towards your shoulder.

"Hah, so needy. I've barely touched you, and you're about to cum? Poor little touch starved fuck." You carded your fingers through his hair, gripping and tilting his head back so you could gaze at his expression better. "Riddle me this, brat. What do you want?"

His eyes locked with yours. A shuddered sigh. "Please, touch me, please, please…." he whimpered. Your hand stayed still in his pants.

"Please, what?"

Your hand tightened on his hair, and he gasped at the sting.

"Please, Ma'am! Please…"

"Good boy." A sweet, sadistic grin passed your lips. You started stroking him in an even tempo, rolling your thumb over the head with each pump. His breath stuttered and his eyelids drooped. Each stroke of your hand had little moans spilling from his lips, his hand gripped tighter on your shoulder, digging in just shy of painful. You kept his head craned back, facing the ceiling, watching every expression flicker on his face. Increasing the tempo you pull a depraved moan from his chest. Your own breaths came faster enraptured by his reactions. The air felt like fire as it passed between the two of you, charged with energy. You started pumping faster, faster as you drank in every moan and gasp, fixed on watching him come undone with pleasure. He was so close, so very close now. He was completely flushed, cheeks and chest rosy as he panted. Whimpers and mumbling falling from his lips, shuddering underneath you. "Please please pleasepleaseplease-" fell from his lips in a chant, begging. His dick was throbbing now. His eyes met yours.

"Almost there, brat. Stay with me," a firm tug on his hair as you kept his gaze pinned with yours. His hand slid from your shoulder to the back of your neck as his face started to pinch in pleasure. You kept the pace fast and steady, watching with bated breath. His eyebrows furrowed and jaw went slack as he tipped over, eye lashes fluttering as he tried to keep eye contact with you. He let out a strangled keen, moaning as he climaxed, hot cum spurting and landing on your hand, his pants, and the floor. He went nearly limp in your grasp and you supported him with the hand in his hair, letting go to wrap around his shoulders instead. His head fell forward and into your shoulder. "Sh shh shhh, good boy, you did so good for me." You held him as he caught his breath, inhaling slowly as he came down from his high. You let go of his cock and wiped the cum off your hands with his pant leg as he raised his head back up, his rational mind starting to return. Similarly, you began to realize exactly what just happened. You looked him in the face, making sure he was alright (he was grinning), before briskly letting go and backing away from him, standing up. "Shit." "I'd say that was quite the contrary, dear. Definitely not shit." He let out a breathless chuckle.

"Put your fucking clothes back on." You turned away from him. What the fuck did you just do?? Gave the Riddler a goddamn hand job right after beating the shit out of him, that's what. Fuck it all what were you thinking! You heard the shuffle of him putting his shirt and coat back on, and only turned around once you heard the zip of his pants. He recovered quite well from the mess of a man he was on the floor mere minutes ago, the only tell being the cum stains near his crotch and the specific smell of musk emanating from him. "Well now riddle me this-" he starts. "Don't-" "What gets longer when pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, and works well when jerked?" He grins back at you, delighting in the riddle and watching your inner turmoil flash across your face. "Oh my god. Bubble gum? A cigarette? Fuck off." You paced away from him, setting distance between the two of you. "Certainly not your dick," you called over your shoulder. "Is that your final answer? Really, I expected more eloquence but I guess you can't win all the time, now can you?" He sighed over dramatically, picking up his cane and inspecting it. The Riddler rubbed at a tiny scratch on the handle.

You could feel your blood pressure spike again. Your jaw clenched as you glared back at him. Attempting a sardonic smile but really only succeeding in a snarl, you tilted your head at him. "Eloquently, I hope rats turn your mattress into a refinery of their trash, and you wake up in a pool of your own piss." You started to stomp back over to him, anger pumping into your bloodstream, thankfully masking anything else you might be feeling at the moment. "In-eloquently, fuck off and suffer." You stabbed your finger into his chest for punctuation. He clasped your hand between both of his. "If you keep telling me to fuck off, you'll start to give me the wrong idea about us, darling." the Riddler cooed with an exaggerated pout. "You already have the wrong idea; there is no 'us'." You snatch your hand away from his. His eyes narrowed, even if his horrible, snarky grin remained. "No us, huh?" He clicked his tongue. "How disappointing." his finger found its way to your chin resting there for a moment. Next thing you know, his hand is behind your head and he's kissing you hard, more teeth than lips, and keeping you tight there against him. Shock flashes through you before the rage kicks in again, and you promptly launch your knee straight into his crotch. He releases you with a pained groan, gasping as he doubles over. Between gasps of pain, he starts a stilted laugh. You grab his arm and kick him behind the knee, pulling his arm behind his back while he's still reeling in pain. He jerks, but not before you manage to cuff both of his hands behind his back.

"That's enough of your bullshit, to the GCPD you fucking go." You haul him around and start half dragging him, half leading him to the door. Once he's fully got his feet under him, he smirks down at you. "Aw, but we were having so much fun! Truly, Kestrel, sometimes you are such a killjoy." "If you know whats good for you, you'll shut your mouth." You growled out. "Ah, I've heard that before. In fact, if I had a nickle for every time someone's told me to shut up, I think I could rival Bruce Wayne's wealth!" He chirped. Opening the door, you shove him through first, reaching to turn your coms back on. Before you can, The Riddler tilts his head back at you with a smile. "For the record, the answer is a seat belt."

big thank you to times for being a true bestie and helping me make this legible lol. they're a great beta reader!!! she has a lot of good recommendations if y'all would like to check them out!!

[acti-veg]

Hey I've been wondering if you ever had or still have cravings for non vegan stuff and how you deal with it?

I've been vegan for almost 9 years until this summer where I was weak and ate fish on vacation in Denmark. Fish or salmon in particular was always the one thing I really missed. Other meats or dairy, no problem.

The whole 9 years it worked, but somehow the thought of "fresh fish" at the sea appealed to me. And I'm so annoyed and disappointed in myself for caving because it wasn't even worth it.

As if the vegan gods saw me sinning I got food poisoning from that fish. And now just the thought of ... Not even eating just smelling it makes me nauseous and question how I ever could have liked that before...

So that's one way to deal with cravings. But do you have some non self-harming advice to trick yourself into not wanting it?

I think for me it also had a lot to do with the mindset that harming fish is not as bad as harming "real" animals. I know that's a stupid and illogical take and fish are indeed real animals that feel pain, but I still think on some level that's the reason why it was easier to eat it. Because when I look back at the 9 years I think anytime someone offered me non vegan stuff that isn't fish I was / still am repelled because my mind immediately goes to all the footage of documentaries I saw, like the vivid images and their eyes.

But when being offered fish ... I also think about the images of overstuffed nets and the horrible data about overfished seas, but it's not that close? And I remember distinctly like for myself the reason I always refused eating it was "I already cut out meat, dairy and eggs might as well not eat fish either" because then "it counts as fully vegan".

Like I am asking advice how to deal with that cognitive dissonance, because I am afraid at some point I will recover from my disgust of fish and maybe try it again (and maybe next time I won't get lucky to have food poisoning prevent me from eating it).

It bothers me because I never dropped eating fish out of conviction (not like the other non vegan stuff) but just because that was part of the vegan deal.

I’ve had the odd craving, but less for a particular type of animal product and more for a specific item, usually some sort of processed food I enjoyed as a child and don’t have access to anymore. It is nothing that has ever compelled me to even consider actually buying it, but cravings are different for different people.

I think that the best thing you can really do is invest some time into learning more about sea animals and the fishing industry more widely. They are complex beings who are really interesting, both in their behaviours and their biology. Familiarity is what fosters connection, but this is harder with fish and sea animals more generally because they don’t resemble us much, or express feeling/desires in ways we recognise. The only cure for that is to make yourself familiar with them.

You should do some research on the environmental and ecological impact of fishing, too. It is one of the most harmful foods you can eat in environmental terms, up there with beef and dairy. Salmon is particularly bad, because they’re massively over-fished and their population is collapsing rapidly. This has a massive impact on animals you may care about more, particularly sharks, seals, whales and other sea life. Keeping these facts in your mind and spending time to research and read about them would go a long way to helping you not see them as food.

Watch documentaries and read about fish and their inner lives, you’ll likely find out a lot that will really surprise you. I’d thoroughly recommend reading Other Minds by Peter Godfrey Smith, and An Immense World by Ed Yong. Both spend a lot of time discussing not fish specially, but molluscs, arthropods and generally less understood creatures. It may help you appreciate how complex and interesting creatures we traditionally view as ‘lower’ than mammals and birds can be.

Ultimately though, cravings are seldom so intense that they cannot be resisted. Even if you continue craving fish in the long term, there is no reason that craving should dictate your behaviour, and certainly not your moral choices. You may just need to exercise some restraint as well as doing some research, and this, like anything else, is something you can practice being good at.

[pokemoncenter]

Is Rhyperior an organic or inorganic pokemon? I suspect mine is ill, as he has been slowing down as of late and is visibly frustrated by it, but the clinic we went to gave conflicting information about treatment… We work in construction, and thankfully the foreman has put the current project on hold to get this treated properly, but we can’t do that indefinitely.

It is organic. Rhyperior is... a rather unique case, associated frequently with Magmortar and Electivire, as all three of them evolve using specific items not found in nature.

It is, perhaps surprisingly, a mammal. Many believe they are reptiles, and their rocky skin is an adaptation of reptilian scales, but the non-Pokemon animal most closely related to Rhyhorn is, shockingly, the pangolin. (Not, in fact, the rhinoceros, as is commonly believed.)

The evolution of Rhyhorn throughout history is assumed that it began as a pangolin that crossbred with Mew. With Mew's genes, it began to take in extra iron and soil compounds, causing its scales to take on rockier properties. This mutation caused them to become exceedingly heavy, and so further mutations were required, causing the bones of the Rhyhorn to further develop, until the species had enlarged and become the extremely heavy specimen we see today.

Rhydon is thought to have been an evolutionary pressure that caused the back to become too heavy, its own misbalanced weight forcing it to take a bipedal posture.

... I apologize for the digression. Rhyperior is a Pokemon who has taken in an inorganic structure, the Protector, to augment its own already-superheavy body. If it is slowing down, there are many possible causes, from absorbing too much in the way of iron and soil to become even rockier, or a deficit in calcium that its bones cannot keep up with the strain. The matter could also be psychological, or it could simply be age.

They are organic, but with hard plating that can make it extremely hard to treat.