#i think...i might have pica but

[canisalbus]

Your art tastes like aged paper, sugar, and chocolate to me, with a hint of salt every so often

Machete looks like white chocolate, and Vasco's like buttery caramel

.

[clairethekiwi]

I love steamboat Willie

[nexus-nebulae]

i wonder if there's any good foods i can Consume when brain tells me it's time to eat grass

[mingot-studios]

am I the only one who likes the taste of pumastones?

it tastes like wet concrete and i can't get enough

for some reason

[eroguron0nsense]

Doflamingo, Love, and Arrested Development

This is mostly just me paraphrasing other Doffy metas and comments I've made but I kinda feel like the real tragedy behind Doflamingo's warped psychology kind of gets missed by people who focus more on his trauma in and of itself and get lost in discourses about having sympathy for characters despite their complete lack of morality and disregard for everyone (perfectly possible), or whether Doflamingo has any redeeming characteristics or genuine concern for anyone or anything outside of himself (he doesn't).

Doffy's story is fundamentally a tragedy, but not because of his childhood traumas or how drastic and painful they are; plenty of One Piece characters experience severe abuses or incomprehensible loss, but they're ultimately stories of how to find hope in the face of the incomprehensibly traumatic, or the salvation/redemptive power of love. Even characters who don't necessarily see their goals fulfilled (see Fisher Tiger, Pedro, Ashura Doji, EGGHEAD SPOILERS etc) aren't fundamentally tragic ones in the way that, say, Ace is, in that they die having fulfilled their goals to the best of their ability and knowing that people will carry on where they left off, even if they don't get to see the liberation they hoped for. Rosinante's story isn't a tragedy because he dies satisfied that he's given hope to someone he loves deeply (and to some extent tried to make amends for some of the guilt he clearly feels for participating in an institution that ruined that child's life).

Doffy, on the other hand, is a never-ending downward spiral from day 1. He was indoctrinated by evil people from birth and never has it addressed (his parents, for all their talk about living more simply than the Celestial Dragons, NEVER actually say "slavery is bad" to Doffy when he asks them why they don't own people any more and I have my own theory on why), who then suffers unbelievable trauma and has his sense of loss–both of his "birthright" and his innocence/ childhood–weaponized for evil. And he spends the rest of his life in this semi-permanent state of arrested development and violent entitlement. He can't have the station and privilege of the Celestial Dragons to... own slaves and live in luxury, so he builds a kingdom where HE reigns supreme and everyone who crosses him is killed or enslaved as a toy. His mother dies and he kills his father, so he assembles a cult-like "family" to try and compensate for the one he's lost/destroyed, but he doesn't and likely doesn't know how to love them in any meaningful way beyond being possessive of them and seeing them as extensions of himself (e.g. he's willing to kill anyone who makes fun of Pica because no one's allowed to antagonize his "family", but he also orders Monet to do a suicide bombing in Punk Hazard, and he's willing to sacrifice one of them for the eternal life surgery, etc). I think that might be why, even though he should know Corazon has every reason to hate and fear him, he's still so eager to take his brother in when they reunite as adults–he shouldn't trust him, and he eventually comes to suspect him of treason, but he's desperate to have a family and Corazon is emblematic of something he wants but can never have because he's a cruel stunted person who knows nothing but entitlement and violence and cannot process the idea that anything has value or merits selflessness and sacrifice.

Everything Doflamingo does is defined by trying to replace or compensate for the family and privilege he was "supposed" to have, but he doesn't love anyone or even understand how real love works because he's been taught to have no regard for human life and all he knows is that love = absolute servitude, that his interests are ultimately more important than the wellbeing of his "family" members, and that betrayal means death. And far be it from me to sympathize with a fallen aristocrat's deranged revenge power fantasies, but it does demonstrate how oppressive institutions inevitably deprive their own beneficiaries of some of their humanity, and consequently fuck them for life. Doffy craves genuine affection and has had his capacity for it permanently stunted by his former class station and indoctrination.

This craving for love combined with an inability to actually feel it in any meaningful way factors into why he's so obsessed with Law, who he kept hardcore projecting onto in the flashbacks and who he expected to turn out just like him. His brother chose Law over Doflamingo and even his undercover mission out of love, and for all his traumas and hangups, Law can find his own crew and friends who he cares about, and he's able to live on and find meaning even after losing EVERYTHING because Corazon genuinely loved him enough to die protecting him. Doffy, on the other hand, is doomed to a loveless, misanthropic, cruel existence where he tortures countless people to compensate, but he can't replace what he's lost and he'll never find it. It's not what Corazon would have wanted, but Law fighting for and honouring Corazon's memory in everything he does enrages Doffy, who will never be able to understand why they cared for each other so deeply, and why both of them are integral to his downfall.

[akanemnon]

What do you think about the theory that Kris might have Pica disorder (due to being essentially fed monster food, that isn't made to fill a stomach) ?

I don't wanna claim that theory as my own, but my doodles might have contributed to it...

[serxinns]

Table of contents

Master list

Hi! im Serxinn i write yandere mha feel free to ask!

My inspirations! (and moots)

@lady-ashfade (She made my super cute headboard)

@thefiery-phoenix

@yandere-class-1a (Or @yandere-x-reader)

@roxanndrummond

What you can request

Yandere Mha

Normal Mha

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Yandere vs yandere

A single person headcanon

Poly relationships

Lgbtq!

What you can't ask for

Smut - sorry not really comfortable with it yet =^=

Abuse - unless it's mentioned that the reader is abused but other than that I don't like writing wandered abuse their reader due to trauma and I can't really do it of have the courage

Non-con- yeaaa no...

Other fandoms- demon slayer is a maybe still thinking about it

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Masterlist

Yandere mha Scarlet witch reader

Part one

Part two

Part three

Part four

Part five

Extras

Spring bath

The dare

Big sis eri

Yandere Mha with Baby reader

USJ

Carnival

Babysitting

Badass reader

I HATE YOU

Yandere vs Yandere

Hawks vs aizawa

Yandere Endeavor, Hawks and mirko vs Yandere all night aizawa, nezu

Fatgum VS all might

Yandere Hero Dekusquad vs Yandere Vil Bakusquad

Part one

Part two

Drabbles and oneshots

Valentines days special

Their bloodsucking Goddess

Transfer Reader

I don't give a shit

Insomia Reader

Bunny hawk reader

Teachers kid

Teachers Kid part 2

Batman Reader

Reader doing the kadedon pose

Secret admirer

Bubbly but angry reader

Romantic bakugo and platonic class 1a

Poc reader

Tipsy trampoline

Bakugo reader

LoveFever~

Big Three's educational visit

Yan class 1a imagine pt2

Deadpool reader!

Izuku's cousin with pica!

Yandere Reader

Light Fury reader

The big 3 Reacting to you wearing revealing clothing

You gifted me sorrow I returned lilies

Gojo reader

Chubby reader

Reader with a eating disorder

Baker reader with mafia class 1a

Love potion

Denkis deal

Mocha Bunny

Part 1

Part 2:bunnynapped

Genderswap

Part 1

Part 2 (m/n Pov)

Fanart!

A beautiful and 1st fanart of izuku reader and bakugo reader by @diamondzoey

A wonderful and magnificent fanart of Scarlet witch reader by @candyswirl101!

Original/inspired series

Sweet treats!

Chap 1

Chap 2

Chap 3

A Hero awaits but with a deadly fate...

Part 1

Part 2

[eating-the-inedible]

ROUND ONE: Chalk vs. Marbles

Propaganda:

Chalk:

They're lying around everywhere at uni. You could just take them. It's like little complimentary candy

You might want to grind them and make them into some nice powder to add on top like cinnamon or cacao. Or you might want to add it to a drink. But I think they look like they could be good? A little like powdered sugar. (you might also want to lick them like a lollipop) ... Do you think different colours are different tastes? 

it just looks yummy...i bet it would crunch really nicely if you were chewing on it... apparently my mom really wanted to eat it when she was pregnant with me but couldn't obviously and my dad went out and got her tums to eat instead. then i tried to eat it myself as a toddler and choked and had to be rescued. still...i bet i could do it if i had some water its just a little dry (joking)

i have eaten it before. 0/10 wouldn't recommend but would do it again

has a very good crunch. also if chalk wins i will crunch a stick of chalk again

Chalk is one of the most commonly enjoyed foods by people with Pica, especially calcium deficiencies

The way it crumbles between your teeth is so so satisfying there's a reason this is such a classic Pica food. The calcium deprived and pregnant folk can't get enough of chalk. Have you bit through a stick of chalk today? The firm tension snapping and the spray of dust. The feeling of biting through a finger. Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just want to bite something you shouldn't? One time, 100% pressure, no consequences. Eat chalk. It's good for your spirit.

like 3 of my friends eat it on the regular

Marbles:

They look like they'd be fun to eat. They'd be like jawbreakers.

They're cheap and you get a bunch in one bag. Also, they come in a bunch of (colors) flavors!

shiny

They look like candy, man

Couldn’t find a picture that looks like the marble I’ve been dragging around, but close enough. They make me think of those napoleon candies

[innershoesuitcasebiscuit]

Another thing that I have spotted connecting Zoro and Robin is that they have this sort of fascination for flying humans.

You might not have remembered it but when Robin saw Pell flying she had this astonishment.

Then we have Zoro in the Dressrosa.

They were so fascinated that they even applied it in one of their battles (Robin using her wings and Zoro using it so he will reach Pica as earliest as possible).

Aside from that sometimes I think Zoro might be a little bit curious in what Robin is doing.

After all when Robin joined although he's a bit cautious his thought was "What is this woman up to?"

In my headcanon I always theorize that due to his cautious nature when Robin joined the strawhats he kinda observes her and he's also curious about the things she does just to make sure that she won't harm the crew.

And these things became his habit unknowingly and carried it still even if he already trusted her and considered her a friend.

💜💚🌸⚔️

[wrotelovelytears]

We r family

Mommy. sorry. Mommy. Sorry-

🦨Scorpio children tend to be very clingy.

🦇I don't mean this in a bad way, they tend to get very attached to family members, friends and even objects that bring them comfort

🦨On that note they also really sociable when young. These kids while quiet, always like interacting with others and learning about the world around them

🦨Capricorn children tend to be really reserved. They like to stick to themselves and figure out how things work through observation and trials.

🦇Its not until they being adults they start to loosen up

👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦

🦨Cancer kids, while "close" to their family prefer to learn more about things outside the home and how others home life is as a comparison.

🦨9 times outta ten if a Scorpio, Gemini, Sagittarius or Aquarius child gets really quiet they doing something they know they aren't supposed to

🦨This could be completely wrong, and I'm pretty sure that pica (in children) might be more common to Pisces and Taurus.

🦇Its the psychological comfort of chewing (oral fixation) that takes them a little longer to out grow.

👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦

🦨That being said Venusian children might end up with a long term oral fixation.

Ex Chewing gum, nails, Thumb sucking etc

🦨Virgo kids the type to eat their veggies, yet also hate certain veggies

🦨Virgos might have hypochondriac parents, they care a lot about the wellbeing of their child due to things they've gone through/witnessed

👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦

🦨Taurus children might enjoy watching their family cook and try to help out when they can

🦨I honestly think you grow into your moon sign and live out your rising when younger.

🦇I'm a Pisces rising who: wanted to be a mermaid, had a big head and spent too much time imagining things. Libra moon who likes aesthetic™, thrives in harmony and kinda maybe a flirt (idk that's what others say, I'm just being nice)

🦨Pisces kids have big heads. I'm sorry 😭 you gotta grow into it

👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦

🦨4th house- your moms rising

8th- your dads rising

12th- your grandparents (both sides) energy/ what you have in common with them/also could be linked to the planet that rules both(or one) parents moon sign

🦨I don't think Aries children are naturally competitive or really forward, they learn in order to get what the want they have to be really brash and self focused

🦨Same goes for about every sign they act like the sister sign until they have a life changing experience (more with people around their age/caretakers) then they embody the stereotypes we associate with them

👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦

🦨Having eighth house synastry with a family member is tough, especially parents. This can result in an almost codependent bond between the two. Also constant underlying tension with whatever sign and planets fall there.

🦨Still think 12th is worse because you enable behaviors in each other. With grandparents this isn't as much of a problem due to willingness to change being more prominent

🦨 South Node can also talk about things your family is known for.

🦇Aquarius- Being different from most of their societal peers and starting new traditions. Around when drastic societal changes and upheavals happened

🦇Gemini- New commutative methods or being well known in their local community. Around when new local communities popped up

🦨 North Node is things your generation adds to the family collective. Yes I'm aware not everyone will have the same North Node AND Nodes are collective energy not individual.

🦇Cancer- importance of family, national/ethnic pride, and nurturing. New family structures and emotional acceptance

🦇Pisces- re-incorporating old traditions, focus on spiritual/mental wellbeing, and patience. New spiritual movements and collective ideas

👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦

🦨I feel like despite what many say Virgo Moons can make really good parents. Its more so the aspects they have to their moon that makes them either more naggy or more sensitive.

🦨Another reason is that kids born now will have a Capricorn Pluto (opposed to the Sag from the current young adults), Virgo and Capricorns energy matches up a lot more than Sag and Virgo. Those kids are more willing to listen and observe situations rather than jump into them and play off consequences.

🦨I also believe Scorpio placements can make great parents. Not only do Scorpios actually really like kids, they understand the world isn't rainbows and butterflies yet independence is something needed.

👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦

🦨Sags might be a little too excitable for kids. What do i mean?

🦇Sagittarius, unless a circumstance has happened in which they mature (no offense), tend to act more like teenagers (regardless of age). Having someone who sees life as optimistic or pessimistic isn't healthy for a child. Children need middle ground.

🦇Yes a sag parent would constantly encourage their kid too explore, and sometimes they wouldn't curve behaviors that need to be curved before they become problematic.

🦇All in all they a little to free in terms of parenting and only give advice after they have gone through something themselvess.

🦨Aries parents might work well with younger kids, its when they become teens that issues start to come up.

🦇The clashing ideologies would cause the teen to feel like their parent is trying to limit them while the parent would feel like the kid is trying to grow up too fast or question them as a person.

🦨I think that Saturnian parents get along more with their kids when they are adults. After they have their own responsibilities and have experienced life a bit more. We have to remember Saturn (and Aquarius) are both ruled by time over long distances.

🦨Pisces parents are always active in their child's life, one way or another. They tend to try to keep their family together or at least be present in some way

👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦👨‍👧👩‍👦

(If you learned something new or would just like to support me you can leave a wittle tip via the tip button or one of the links in my masterlist. Kofi: nymphdreams🧸)

[baby-zakarii]

Appreciation post!

This is going to be a huge appreciation post for all babies who are stigmatized for various reasons!

Feel free to leave a comment if you think I should add anything!

Cw: there will be mentions of behaviors that might be triggering for some! Here are cws so you know what to expect! (Can't add them in tags cause they hide the post :(()

Cw: diapers, accidents, m*asturb*tion, s*x mention, medical stuff, add*cti*n, substances mention, selfh*rm

You are a valid regressor if you:

- use catherer/ostomy bag!❤️

- use a feeding tube!❤️

- are an amputee!❤️

- have acne, vitiligo, eczema or any other skin conditions!❤️

- have scars!❤️

- are fat!❤️

- have diabetes!❤️

- have heart problems!❤️

- have disorders (NPD, ASPD, BPD etc.)!❤️

- have STDs!❤️

- have PCOS!❤️

- have HIV!❤️

- have pica!❤️

- are hypers*xual!❤️

- have high libido!❤️

- m*sturbate while small for various reasons!❤️

- sniff, bite, lick things for various reasons!❤️

- stim by grinding against objects!❤️

- do dr*gs, smoke, drink!❤️

- are an add*ct!❤️

- struggle with selfh*rm!❤️

- have messing/wetting accidents!❤️

- are incontinent!❤️

- have hygiene problems!❤️

- pick your nose!❤️

- comfortvoid (wet or mess for comfort reasons)!❤️

And to every other baby, remember - the behaviors described in this post are often trauma responses! They do not mean that the person is gross, icky or s*xualizing regression!

And the disorders/conditions are never your fault baby, you are precious and deserve a headpat❤️

[alieninvasionsarenotajoke]

Everymanhybrid headcanons you have?

Ohmygod you have just opened pandoras box my friend and I thank you so much for it Before Slendy/The EMH channel: So I'd like to think all the boys met in Highschool with Jeff and Vinny meeting first and Evan joining the friend group around sophomore year. Evan gives me the vibes of an extrovert who adopted two introverts and never left them. He was also probably the one who introduced them to their other friends (Nick, Daniel, etc) and the rest is history !

They all like skateboarding, mainly Evan. He's the one who taught the other two how to with Vinny absolutely KILLING it and Jeff.... not so much.

This is less headcanon and more canon since Vinny and Jeff have guitars lying around. But they all play some sort of instruments and have definitely thought about making a band before. Jeff would be on the guitar, Vinny maybe the bass or keyboard, and Evan would go crazy as a drummer.

Speaking of which Vinny and Jeff give me big band kid energy. Mainly Jeff.

I can also see Vinny being a theater kid.

OH! Steph was homeschooled and chronically online (in a millennial way) because of it. This lead her into so many fandoms and she wrote so much cringe fanfiction. Some she wouldn't even let Evan see.

Also Steph is really into 2000s animated MTV shows and kinned Pheobe from Downtown.

One more thing about Steph because I love her and I'm 100% not projecting onto her ;D She loves mindless self indulgence, she wants revenge, and modest mouse. I feel like Vinny and her bonded over music, especially Modest Mouse.

After slendy/emh channel: Vinny is a very big Modest Mouse fan, like listened to all the albums and probably knows the bandmembers names and lore. His favorite album is "The Moon and Antarctica" which became a comfort album during his time living with Habit. He listened to "Alone down there" over and over because it reminded him of his friendship with Evan.

Sidenote if you haven't listened to "The moon and antarctica" you really should cause most of the songs give me EMH vibes. Especially Alone Down There and Tiny Cities made of Ashes. I honestly want to make a analysis on that album and how it fits with EMH, but that's for another time. :D Back to headcanons. Habit loves frustrating boardgames like monopoly or uno. Mostly because he feeds off the emotions. When Vinny lived with Habit, he would always bug him about playing Monopoly specifically. Vinny gave in one time and played for a bit until he realized Habit was somehow cheating.

Habit also ate the pieces in front of Vinny as a power move.

He also likes how metal tastes.

Habit might have pica.

That's all for now because if I go on any longer I'd start writing a whole ass book. If you'd like more headcanons I'd be glad to post some cause I have plenty !! Sorry if anything here is confusing I'm bad at putting thoughts into words sometimes XD

if you've read this far, here have an Evan:

[core-bagg]

DO ANGUS CIPRIANNI ‼️

ANGUS CIPRIANNI HCS:

-MAFIA BOSS (We all saw that coming from a mile away)

-Some his crew and the other residents think that he might have pica. He doesn't, he know that the police aren't crazy enough to search his stomach for anything Illegal.

-Unfortunately, he sometimes forgets to regurgitate the object he ate and only realises when it's too late (E.g: "Boss, have you seen my pen knife?" "Well...OH CRAP!!!-")

-Everyone on the first floor has a reason to want to tear his throat out (Peachman bros think he's too smug, the twins think he smiles too much, Lois wants him locked up for being in the mafia and Roman just hates everyone...Hey, I said that they were reasons, not good reasons)

-Can pull of being friendly and being threatening at the same time.

[peach-and-bugs]

Yellowjackets Theory (little to no spoilers)

I really wanna talk about my Yellowjackets theory, because I enjoy all the other ones but for whatever reason think mine is the most obvious so much so that it feels like a dead gov away which is why I think it’s right I guess.

Noting supernatural is happening. Not in the woods or in the present day. Nothing supernatural has ever been happening, and that’s the point.

A huge theme of the show is mental illness in woman and how it’s overlooked and seen as something that needs to be fixed rather than helped, and that is what’s going on with our girls. All of them has something going on at home or with themselves before they crashed, and it already was being ignored, so it only became more exacerbated with the addition of an immense life changing trauma, like being trapped in the wild for 19 months and needing to resort to cannabis to survive. Anyone with preexisting mental illness would have their whole worldview destroyed.

And I think Lottie has always been the prime example and indicator of this. She’s been schizophrenic since childhood. The medication she was taking if prescribed to treat and manage symptoms of schizophrenia. And, she went though a very rigorous withdrawal, having to go cold turkey on hard drugs that she’s likely been taking since she was extremely little. Probably as little as she was in the flashback of her with the car accident. That’s going to cause some major issues very quickly with someone’s psyche.

And all the “prophecies” Lottie has seen have just been convenient coincidences. The “visions” she has are part of her withdrawal, part of her actual mental illness as well as the hunger she eventually experiences. And all of the other girls are also experience hunger induced delusions. Part of why they believe so fiercely in what Lottie say is because they’ve lost faith in everything around them. They realize no god or man will save them, but they have Lottie. Lottie, in their eyes, is a miracle worker because her coincidences keep them alive.

Now, you might be asking about Tai, and she’s a whole other story. Tai is also extremely mentally ill. Her other personality is theorized to be because she could have DID, or dissociative identity disorder, where other Tai developed as some way of protecting Taissa. And personally, I think it’s possibly that the man with no eyes could also be an alter of hers, as she seems to be the only one seeing him, other than her grandmother. However, her grandmother would likely be completely unreliable and delusional as she was in the middle of dying as she saw him.

Tai has also developed a stressed induced variant of pica that other Tai is perpetrating called Geophagia, which is straight up just earth consumption. And other Tai going to all of the carvings could just be out Tai seeing them during the day and other Tai returning to them at night.

Another huge part of this explanation is that all of our girls, no matter how much we love them, are extremely unreliable narrators to their story, because we are learning their story from them directly. Their perception is warped and just really fucked up and they probably struggle discerning what is real and what isn’t. And honestly that’s part of why I love this show, because it’s so human. All the obsession and drastic decisions are due to extreme mental illness and ptsd stored up into a reality fucking perception of reality due to desperation.

[butchdykeorpheus]

writing a meta post about taissa turner and taissa/van and taissa/simone that other people have probably talked about more intelligently than i have but i have Yellowjackets Disease (mental illness) (incurable) and i need to exorcise this from my brain. i just spent 15m pacing the room writing this out in my head. i'm obsessed with her. anyway

taissa turner THE lesbian icon i love her SO much and i can't stop thinking about her fractured selves. we already see from s2 previews and the shots of taissa and her out-of-sync reflection that this is only going to become more extreme as s2 goes on but right from early season 1 taissa is constantly at war with herself in a very extreme way and reconciling these two sides of herself is going to be a major part of her arc

s1 flashbacks to taissa's childhood in the 80s show us that she was traumatised from a pretty young age by witnessing her deeply religious grandmother being tormented by horrific visions of the "eyeless man", and i think you can draw a direct line between that and taissa's personality and attitudes in 1996: teenage taissa is a relentless type A personality, unyieldingly ambitious and Always In Control. not only that, but it's notable that she is the most vocally sceptical of all the yellowjackets when it comes to the superstitions and beliefs the other girls (spearheaded by lottie, who quickly seems to be becoming tai's biggest rival at the cabin) are developing about the wilderness. for taissa, there's always a logical explanation. there HAS to be. and she HAS to take the lead and guide the others by example through the entire harrowing experience, to be The Strong One (i'm sure there's also connection there between that and the stereotype of the Strong Black Woman but i'm not in a position to make that point in any eloquent way)

of course, taissa is terrified. and on some level, she too can't help but wonder if there's Something Else Out There With Them. but acknowledging any of that isn't an option for her, except in extreme circumstances (when van is in mortal danger). she especially cannot acknowledge any shred of doubt, of belief, around whatever might be out there in the woods. around what lottie and her burgeoning cult believe in

i think taissa is painfully aware - and deathly afraid - of what her grandmother saw, and that it might be hereditary. taissa knows that her family has a history of mental illness and that on some level she's also vulnerable to that. so: she can't ever acknowledge that something may be happening in the wilderness that she cannot comprehend or understand. taissa needs to believe in facts, logic, what she can see and feel. taissa cannot believe in "bad feelings", spirits, or ghosts. to open herself up to that for even a second would risk inviting in that thing that tormented her grandmother

so she quashes that part of herself aggressively, crushes it down and shoves it into a corner in the back of her brain. her stress, her fear, her doubt. but of course it doesn't work like that. you can't just lock your emotional and mental issues in a box in your mind and expect that to work. in her desperation to stay In Control, she's fractured herself, and that repressed terror and stress has no choice but to manifest in her sleep: sleepwalking, pica, hallucinations

it's so significant that in 2x02 this week we explicitly saw taissa, whilst sleepwalking, following the same eyeless man seen by her grandmother, almost to her death. regardless of whether or not he's an actual supernatural entity (and so far i really like the way yellowjackets maintains that ambiguity, and i hope they keep it that way), he represents taissa's terror of that hereditary "frailty", that it is inevitable, that it will destroy her

we already know that adult taissa also sees the eyeless man, among other hallucinations. adult tai is very much like her teenage self, only worse after years and years of repressing her teenage trauma, to the point where on some level she seems to believe in the same ritualistic practices she actively scoffed at when she was younger (at least enough to commit ritualistic animal sacrifice in her fucking sleep) - again, the fracturing of her self growing increasingly severe. the fact that during her press conference in s1 she sees the eyeless man lurking at the edge of the crowd and barely even skips a beat, that she continues to smile and deliver her political speech as if he isn't there - as if she's used to ignoring his lurking - shows how tenuous her grip on total control is becoming the harder she clings. but this is how taissa has always coped, right from her youth: You Get On With It. we clearly see her dismissive attitude towards mental health support and psychologists when discussing sammy; when simone is (rightfully so!) concerned about sammy's loneliness and stress, taissa doesn't see an issue, or at least doesn't want to acknowledge one. she's been lonely and high strung for a very long time - this is normal for her! and look at taissa. she's doing just fine!!! 🙃

only in her vulnerable moment with shauna, one of the few people in the world who can understand, does she admit that she feels like she's going through the motions of normality: that despite doing everything she'd planned (going to college, dating a lot of beautiful women, becoming a lawyer) as if her stint in the wilderness were only a minor speedbump in the road of her life, sometimes it "still doesn't feel real"

this is also where tai and shauna's conversation about feeling "it" happens, and where van and simone come in. despite how i think some people have interpreted that conversation, taissa clearly really loves simone. "it" is young reckless love, that wild, whirlwind, all-consuming teenage attraction (not even necessarily love - i really do not think shauna felt any deep love for adam - but this isn't a shauna post lol). "it" is the love tai shared with van. what she has with simone is a different, more mature and settled kind of love you feel after years and years of building a comfortable life with someone. it doesn't make her feel "it", the butterflies-in-your-stomach, the excitement. but it provides stability, comfort, and that's not inherently lesser. for taissa, it's definitely "safer". the issue here, and what i think is going to become a key theme of the relationship between adult taissa and adult van, is that taissa's relationships with simone and van speak to different sides of her fractured self

tai's relationship with simone is normalcy and stability - she's the Very Deeply Normal Life that adult taissa is living in the start of season 1, the flourishing career in law and politics, the wife and kid and dog and the picket fence. simone is a well-adjusted, grounding, dependable presence in taissa's life. even now - with their relationship on the rocks and simone needing to prioritise the safety of their young son (which! understandable!! taissa put a severed dog head in their basement!!!) - simone wants taissa to get help so she can be a part of sammy's life, and she's been trying to get through to taissa and convince her to seek help since season 1. it can be easy to see simone's current attitude towards taissa as harsh, and i've seen people compare simone's fear of taissa's issues unfavourably with van's acceptance of taissa's strange sleepwalking behaviour, but a) the stakes are different (again, they have a young son to think of), b) simone presented her ultimatum (seek help and quit politics or i cannot let you near our son) specifically after seeing taissa's mental health deteriorate from the stress of her political ambitions and multiple times encouraging taissa to please i am begging you see a therapist, and c) as far as we know teenage taissa has yet to, like, commit any ritualistic animal murders in her sleep lmao. that said, there's a part of taissa that simone simply Cannot Truly Understand, and taissa clearly doesn't want her to

tai's relationship with van on the other hand represents not only that intense teenage love, but the wilder, more unpredictable side of taissa that's inextricably tied to her teenage trauma. taissa and van have a very real love in spite of the horrific circumstances they've landed in and van can understand that wild, traumatised side of taissa's self in a way that a well-adjusted person like simone never can, because van survived the wilderness too. but that also makes her dangerous for taissa's very delicate psychological balancing act. around van, taissa can't maintain the veneer of normalcy and stability she managed to maintain - van sees right through that bullshit, she was there, taissa can't lie to her. we haven't seen adult van yet so it's not clear exactly what their adult dynamic will be or how exactly van has been impacted by the wilderness in the long term, but teen van, at least, has one foot in lottie's camp: she believes in the "bullshit" taissa refuses to consciously consider and is trying to convince taissa to believe in lottie too, and we already know how that is going to turn out for them. van is providing all the emotional support she can and trying so hard to protect taissa in the wilderness, even willing to tie herself to taissa while they sleep at the risk of injury to keep her safe, but she's also tempting taissa towards the other, unthinkable extreme: accepting that there are things out there in the wilderness that tai can't understand and therefore can't control; submitting herself to lottie's brand of spiritualism. if i have to guess, i think the biggest reason that adult taissa is no longer with adult van is that they'll always have the wilderness, and the actions one or both of them committed as part of lottie's cult, between them, and taissa couldn't cope with that. and i'm assuming adult van is likely still dealing with mental health issues of her own, so taissa can't necessarily lean on van for stability the way she wants to

ultimately neither of these extremes are entirely healthy for taissa. she can't pretend that nothing is happening and expect to have a totally normal, controlled life, anymore than she can allow herself to fully lose control and embrace lottie's style of cultic practice or be tormented like her grandmother. tl;dr Get This Bich A Therapist but also she'll need to reconcile both sides of herself and accept that there are some things she cannot control if she ever hopes to have the stable life she wants. and based on the trajectory of this show i think taissa's general mental state is going to get far, far worse before it gets better

i know some people are apprehensive about a van/tai/simone love triangle or drama but honestly as long as no one here is vilified i think it could be REALLY interesting. the issue isn't even specifically van or simone - simone truly wants to reach out to taissa and get her help and make their family work, and most likely tai and van could have a stable relationship if both are willing to seek help and talk about their history and what they're struggling with - but rather the way taissa interacts with them and her inability to accept in a healthy way the parts of herself that aren't fully in control

anyway i spent way too long writing this and probably still misspoke or missed something. my point is that if taissa turner has a million fans i am one of them. if taissa turner has ten fans i am one of them. if taissa turner has one fan then i am that one. if -

[stormclouds-makeraine]

I just love the ideas and the chaos of "what if: baby" as a general concept for Canon. Cause like. I really feel like if Remus got pregnant he would use it as an excuse to be absolutely disgusting (Affectionate).

he’d be a freak yeah!!! i also think he’d be a side who’d actually plan out/intend to have a baby (even if he had no idea it was possible), and he’d be very happy about it!

(no one else is very happy about it. they’re all ready to bubble-wrap the baby when he comes.)

i’ve always thought he would get some baddd pregnancy pica, and he’s not the type of guy to resist it. i think the other sides would come downstairs in the morning to find remus unwrapping crayons and biting into them. he’s eating spoonfuls of gravel. he tries drinking gasoline at some point. he has the most horrendous combination of foods and inedible objects, and somehow he and the baby are always just fine.

he turns himself see-through to take a peek at the baby often. no one else is nearly as endeared by this as he is.

remus would just be obnoxiously descriptive about everything. logan doesn’t mind. he might mind the puke on the carpet, though.