#i think.....i think i need to become an i3

[linuxmint-official]

keyboard fuck yeha i love fucking using the keybaord. i can navigate th e eveyrything on the keyboard i am so POWERFUL

[ms-demeanor]

Since some people might want a Mac, I'll offer a Mac equivalent of your laptop guide from the perspective of a Mac/Linux person.

Even the cheapest Macs cost more than Windows laptops, but part of that is Apple not making anything for the low end of the tech spectrum. There is no equivalent Mac to an Intel i3 with 4 gigabytes of RAM. This makes it a lot easier to find the laptop you need.

That said, it is possible to buy the wrong Mac for you, and the wrong Mac for you is the 13-inch MacBook Pro with the Touch Bar. Get literally anything else. If it has an M2 chip in it, it's the most recent model and will serve you well for several years. Any new MacBook Air is a good pick.

(You could wait for new Macs with M3, but I wouldn't bother. If you are reading these guides the M3 isn't going to do anything you need done that a M2 couldn't.)

Macs now have integrated storage and memory, so you should be aware that whatever internal storage and RAM you get, you'll be stuck with. But if you would be willing to get a 256 gig SSD in a Windows laptop, the Mac laptop with 256 gigs of storage will be just as good, and if you'd be willing to get 8 gigs of RAM in a Windows laptop the Mac will perform slightly better with the same amount of memory.

Buy a small external hard drive and hook it up so Time Machine can make daily backups of your laptop. Turn on iCloud Drive so your documents are available anywhere you can use a web browser. And get AppleCare because it will almost certainly be a waste of money but wooooooow will you be glad it's there if you need it.

I get that you are trying to help and I am not trying to be mean to you specifically, but people shouldn't buy apple computers. That's why I didn't provide specs for them. Apple is a company that is absolutely terrible to its customers and its customers deserve better than what apple is willing to offer.

Apple charges $800 to upgrade the onboard storage from a 256GB SSD to a 2TB SSD.

A 2TB SSD costs between $75-100.

I maintain that any company that would charge you more than half the cost of a new device to install a $100 part on day one is a company making the wrong computer for you.

The point of being willing to tolerate a 256GB SSD or 8GB RAM in a Windows laptop is that you're deferring some of the cost to save money at the time of purchase so that you can spend a little bit in three years instead of having to replace the entire computer. Because, you see, many people cannot afford to pay $1000 for a computer and need to buy a computer that costs $650 and will add $200 worth of hardware at a later date.

My minimum specs recommendations for a mac would be to configure one with the max possible RAM and SSD, look at the cost, and choose to go buy three i7 windows laptops with the same storage and RAM for less than the sticker price of the macs.

So let's say you want to get a 14" Macbook pro with the lowest-level processor. That's $2000. Now let's bump that from 16GB RAM and a 512GB SSD to 32GB and 2TB. That gets you to $3000. (The SSD is $200 less than on the lower model, and they'll let you put in an 8TB SSD for $1800 on this model; that's not available on the 13" because apple's product development team is entirely staffed by assholes who think you deserve a shitty computer if you can't afford to pay the cost of two 1991 Jeep Cherokee Laredos for a single laptop).

For $3000 you can get 3 Lenovo Workstation laptops with i7 processors, 32GB RAM, and a 2TB SSD.

And look, for just $200 more I could go up to 48GB RAM and get a 4TB SSD - it costs $600 to upgrade the 14" mac from a 2TB SSD to a 4TB SSD so you could still get three laptops with more ram and the same amount of storage for the cost of one macbook.

I get that some people need to use Final Cut and Logic Pro, but hoo boy they sure are charging you through the nose to use products that have become industry standard. The words "capture" and "monopoly" come to mind even though they don't quite apply here.

"Hostile" does, though, especially since Mac users end up locked into the ecosystem through software and cloud services and become uncertain how to leave it behind if they ever decide that a computer should cost less than a month's rent on a shitty studio apartment in LA.

There's a very good reason I didn't give mac advice and that's because my mac advice is "DON'T."

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group I Round 1: #I3 vs #I6

#I3: Girls get magic from a hamster to have any career they want.

It’s the first day of the new school year. 5th grader Ari and her best friends, Suha and Min, have started an after-school activity called the Problem Solving Club. However, no one seems to have any problems that need to be solved. Disappointed, Ari ends up discovering an unconscious hamster on the road. Amazingly…the hamster begins to speak. “I must find the magic ring…”

#I6: High-schoolers babysit kids—funny and sweet.

After losing both parents in a fatal plane crash, teenager Ryuuichi Kashima must adjust to his new life as the guardian of his younger brother Kotarou. Although Ryuuichi is able to maintain a friendly and kindhearted demeanor, Kotarou is a reserved toddler still too young to understand the reality of the situation. At their parents' funeral, they are approached by Youko Morinomiya, the stern chairman of an elite academy, who decides to take them under her care.

However, there is one condition Ryuuichi must fulfill in exchange for a roof over their heads and enrolment in the school—he must become the school's babysitter. In an effort to support the female teachers at the academy, a babysitter's club was established to look after their infant children; unfortunately, the club is severely short-staffed, so now not only is Ryuuichi responsible for his little brother, but also a handful of toddlers who possess dynamic personalities.

Titles, propagandas, trailers, and poll under the cut!

#I3: Flowering Heart

Propaganda:

I first watched this show back when I was in middle school, so it has some nostalgic value for me. Though, looking back on it now, it was a little odd. I think the concept is pretty cool, as they are girls who can magically transform into adults and have the skill set for that particular career (like Barbie, I guess). The reason they started doing this was to help other people, so the show does have a nice message to it. Overall, it’s a pretty standard magical girl type anime, so if you just want something that’s not too overwhelming, I think this would be a good watch.

Trigger Warnings:

Animal Cruelty – one of the antagonists almost gets this girl’s dog killed. It’s nothing graphic, but the dog might’ve died.

Flashing lights – there are magical girl transformations which are very bright

Pedophilia – the 3 girls are all in 5th grade (so around 11), and there is one guy who has a crush on one of the girls (he’s 18) (idk if they end up together as I can’t find a decent translation for the 2nd season)

#I6: School Babysitters (Gakuen Babysitters)

Propaganda 1:

It is one of the cutest slice-of-life shows, with some really sweet moments. It’s a bit sad that not many people know about it, because it is a very lovely show. Some downright hilarious moments with almost all lovable characters, each with their own quirks, and some unexpected, yet awesome friendships.

Propaganda 2:

It’s definitely one of my comfort shows. Cute, little slice of life where you see the activities of the kids in the club. (They’re super adorable and the stuff they do is so funny.) The bond between Kashima and his little brother, Kotaro, is so sweet, and I love seeing him open up to his new-found family.

Trigger Warnings:

Deaths in MC’s family, which are mostly mentioned in reference to grief. Nothing explicit or graphic. Also, one side character gets overly excited and has nosebleeds around the kids. It’s played for laughs, but at least he’s called out for it being weird. Lastly, there is a pedophile side character, and the other characters think he’s gross and find him uncomfortable to be with.

If you’re reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

[ailurinae]

I'd like to go back to Linux, I think modern wine/proton/bottles/etc might even enable all the gaming I really care about, unfortunately there are no mid-weight Wayland compositors right now: the space that under X11 was filled with XFCE, LXDE, LXQT, even things like OpenBox seems basically empty.

With Wayland it is either Gnome or KDE, or the ultra light compositors like Sway that are comparable to i3, dwm and the like. Which are fine if that's what you want... I used AwesomeWM for years and some other similar systems before that, but they are very much "build your own". You have to put in a lot of work on the config file typically, and you need to add your own status bar, menu system, sys tray, etc generally. Nowadays I'd rather have *some* basics there for me already. But Gnome and KDE are just as all-inclusive and heavy on disk space as ever, if not moreso.

Right now Wayland is becoming more and common, really taking over, but it seems the middle weight category is stalling on transitioning from X11.

Wayland is the better system for sure, and even if it wasn't, it is clearly where Linux is going in the future. It does have issues that need addressed, mainly more protocols need to be made/finalized to fill in the gaps (e.g. accessibility is fucked right now due to different, incompatible versions of the protocols). And then it just needs diversity and maturity of the ecosystem.

Oh and then there is the other issue: More and more common cross platform apps now distribute only one of the semi-sandbox formats: AppImage (modern form of Klik), Snap (Canonical NIH nonsense), and FlatPak (xdg-apps). FlatPak is the most thought out of them, and the best in most all ways... and it still sucks ass.

It needs a LOT more work and evolution, and even then kind only really makes sense if the vast majority of GUI, desktop software was being distributed that way, and the OS package managers somehow could work with it in a reasonable way. Oh, and probably even then, we would want affordable SSDs larger than 4 TB (really 2TB seems the limit of affordability right now).

That's best case for FlatPak. But right now not only do we not have that, everything is split. Some is FlatPak. Some is AppImage. Some also have Snap. Some few might be Snap only... It's horrific.

Sure, if you are using native Linux apps you are probably fine with your classic package manager, but if you want Telegram, Discord, Joplin, Signal... all kinds of stuff like that, you are in trouble. And yeah, I have issues with most of these being Electron nonsense in the first place, but at this point I am dependent on them and there aren't really viable alternatives, one way or another...

In theory I see that maybe the future is highly isolated apps. Mac started doing some of that ages ago. And iOS and Android do it to a large extent too. But IDK that GNU/Linux as it exists now is a good fit for that style. I'd rather see some major forking and a different OS name TBH, if not a totally different system. But that runs into all the issues anything like that always does with the amount of work needed, the adoption issues, etc... (for that matter the containerization/isolation/etc of server stuff that we see with cloud, k8s, docker, etc would all also be better served with a whole different type of system...) (as always we just need infinite time and money to make a new, good system, and then instant world-wide adoption. Easy!)

Windows 11 is by all accounts a disaster and they're rushing Win10 through EOL so in a few years I might be using Mint or Zorin.

[captainjimothycarter]

Once again I thank you SO SO much @avengersbingo for running this amazing, low-key event. Your bingos have brought me such joy. I hope to do another round :)

I feel like I've gotten nothing done this year but this bingo proves me wrong.

A Touch Of Home B1 - Mistaken As A Couple Steve/Peggy From the moment that they’d met, Peggy Carter had become that little touch of home.

What Makes Us Whole B2 - Taken Captive StevePeggy “You think vengeance is the missing piece of the puzzle, that it will make you whole again, but all it does is break you further." Steve's life drastically changes when his best friend dies in his arms and he learns that things may not be what they seem. And it seems he might not know his fiance as well as he thought. Set The Mood B3 - Soulmate AU Steve/Peggy After Peggy leaves him wanting at the bar, Steve thinks about what could’ve been. At least, until he forgets about the bond between them. Playing Hooky B4 - Cuddling Steve/Peggy What does a 10-year-old son who doesn’t want to go to school + a father who doesn’t want to work equal? Why, playing hooky, of course! Chapter 3: Buried Memories (Once Upon A Time) I1 - Kissed To Keep Quiet Steve/Peggy Prince Steve learns more about the world around him and some things he’s forgotten. Captain America Story Time I2 - Science Experiment Steve/Peggy The Captain America Reading Program was just supposed to be a pipe dream and nothing more. A daydream Steve entertained himself with as he watched bored kids try to listen to the same storytellers of the week. When he accepted the job, Steve never thought it would end up with him dressed in a red, white, and blue suit and carrying a handmade shield to read to kids. He never thought he’d come to love it so much. Or that it would lead him to the woman of his dreams and delicious coffee Chapter 1: A Child Gets His Wings (Learn To Soar) Square I3: “Keep Your Eyes Open.” Steve/Peggy In a reality where people who are born with wings are seen as abominations to society, Steve Rogers defies society and keeps his wings. He can't use them to fly and they might cause him to nearly black out anytime they start to flutter but Steve is proud of them. Chapter 2: Punishment Reeps Reward (The Queen and The Hammer) I4 - Size Difference Steve/Peggy Peggy joins Thor in making sure Steve knows the error of his ways. Chapter 6: The Heart Grows Fonder (The Best Things in Life Are Unpredictable) N1 - Rescue Mission Steve/Peggy After Steve is pulled from the rubble and placed in a medically-induced coma, Peggy learns more about the father of her children. Chapter 2: The Little Guy (Learn To Soar) N2 - Reunited Steve/Peggy Steve finally meets the mysterious woman with wings, but not in the manner he expects. The Most Bestest Birthday Ever N3 - Snuggling Steve/Peggy It's his mom's birthday and James Micheal Carter is determined to make it the most, bestest birthday ever. Chapter 1: It’s Just One Phone Call (A Promise Doesn’t Mean Forever) N4 - Soft Under Hard Exterior Steve/Peggy Steve swore that when he and Peggy broke up, he’d never contact her again. Her job at SHIELD was far too much for him to handle. The lies and the anxiety were too much baggage for him. He swore off ever seeing her again and wanting nothing more than to just forget Peggy Carter existed. That’s until her number called him a year later.

Chapter 5: Midnight Meeting (The Best Things in Life Are Unpredictable) G1 - Nose Kisses Steve/Peggy Steve just wanted one chance to make this right.

Chapter 1: Goodbye Sex (Risk = Reward) G2 - “Please don’t leave.” Steve/Peggy No one is happy about the situation. Steve isn’t pleased that Peggy is going undercover to work with Hydra in a long, complicated plan where the ending is uncertain. He’s not happy about losing one-third of his mates. Peggy isn’t happy she’s leaving Steve on a bad note but they all have a job to do and hers is to destroy Hydra from the inside out but first - she needs to knot her Omega and promise him she’ll return. Bucky is upset to have learned about all of this last minute and gets to watch one of his mates walk into Hydra with every intent of destroying them. Chapter 1: Carter vs Rogers (Head Of The Class) G3 - Rivalry Steve/Peggy The second he met her, Steve knew Peggy Carter was going to change his life. She was going to push him, challenge him, and rival every decision he made. Their rivalry would take them from simple college roommates to teaching at the same high school and trying to fight the flames for one another. Strawberry & Applesauce G4 - Childhood Sweetheart Steve/Peggy After a lifetime in the army, Chester Phillips spends his days bonding and looking after his godkids, Micheal and Peggy. He never bothered with the idea of love, far too busy for it during his military career and now that he’s retired, he has all the love he needs when he meets a little blonde boy who asks him for basket after basket of strawberries and his mother.

[x3kristax3]

After Duskwood

First | Last | Next

Chapter 21

We spent all night walking around Colville showing me all his favorite restaurants and places he would hide out until the sun started peeking out. 

He pulls me into an alley and pins me against a brick wall. I've been wearing his sweatshirt for a while because I got cold and he looks down at me seeing a bit of sun hit my tired face. "I didn't realize you were so tired," he says.

"I enjoyed this. After the police station we can take a nap" I say as I lean up and kiss him. 

We hear someone call his name, this time its a guy and he instantly rolls his eyes without looking. "I'm sorry for what you're about to witness" he says inches from my mouth as he turns around putting his back to me. "What jerkface?" He says.

"What are you doing back in this city? I thought you left for good?"

"Just back for a little bit there's some things I need to tie up here" says Jake. 

"Who's that cutie behind you?" Says the guy.

"Leave her alone" says Jake blocking me from the guy as he comes closer. My arm latches onto him and the guy sees the ring.

"Oh shit I know who that is. You know it's not polite not to share."

"Jerkface just leave. I'm not putting up with your shit anymore. Especially not when it comes to her'' says Jake.

"Fine man… by the way I heard you're finally not wanted anymore. Congrats on that one" the guy says as he walks away.

"Jake please don't tell me you use to share women with him" I say into his back.

"No he's just always wanted what I had but he's not even coming near you" he says turning around to me again.

We head back to the hotel and while we wait Jake is on his computer at the desk and I try to catch some sleep but I keep just dozing off to wake up. I end up getting up and heading over to Jake and I pull up a chair and sit next to him leaning into his arm.

"Can't sleep?" He says.

"No, I think I'm so worried about what's gonna happen that I can't.  There's a part of me still afraid of losing you" I say with my eyes closed.

He rubs my arm drawing circles on it "we were able to fly international with no issues I don't think they are gonna go back on their word now" he says. "Just stay here and catch some sleep, my love."

"It's more than the FBI. A part of me feels this is too good to be true that i3 think this is just a long dream" I say. 

"It's definitely not a dream" he says as he looks over at me and see me finally sleeping.

Im only asleep for an hour before I jump up out of my chair and Jake is still right next to me "how long was i asleep?" I ask 

"About an hour. We should head over though because of traffic" he says.

I throw on a tshirt  and jeans and touch up my makeup real fast, still half asleep.  "Do we have time to stop for coffee?" I ask as Jake is leaning against the bathroom door.

"Yeah but then your taking some sleep meds when we get back" he says pulling me close.

"Will you lay with me?" I ask looking up at him.

"Of course" he says kissing my forehead.

We head over to the police station after grabbing coffee and Jake asks if I can join him sitting in for the interview. They agree because I helped but told me I can't say anything.

As I sit there quietly while they ask Jake all they did for them during those times before he went into hiding I find myself playing with the ring he gave me last night as I'm on edge. Hearing everything makes me realize he was just trying to survive and I'm thankful I didn't join the force to find him otherwise our lives would have never crossed paths.

They are finally done and stop recording. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him as I lean my head  on his.

They thank him and tell him he's free to go. They ask me to stay back. 

"Can Jake stay?" I ask nervously. 

"Sorry but this is about when you were an agent he is unable to be in the room or even hear" I squeeze his hand, as my fear becomes greater.

"I'll be right outside waiting for you okay?" He says I lean into him and just smell him for a moment until an agent pulls him away.

I sit down "MC, you are aware that because you didn't help on the task force to locate him it puts you an accessory to everything he did after that."

"What? I hadn't even known him until I got brought into finding hannah" I exclaim.

"How can we know that for certain?" He says.

"Look at my phone history until that case I never had a connection in any form with him" I say getting frustrated.

"How was your location rate so high for someone so new then?"

"Because I prided myself in learning everything I could and being the best" i say on the edge of breaking down.

"You never worked with any hackers, correct?"

"Never" I say as tears roll down my face afraid my worst thought is gonna happen that I'm gonna be arrest.

All of a sudden someone comes in and hands him a file. He's quiet as he looks through it and I put my head in my hands on the table "MC you're free to go" he says, closing the file and standing up to the door. He opens it and I run into Jake's arms.

Jake's POV 

I'm waiting outside the same interview room I was just waiting for MC. I hear her raise her voice. It feels like they have been in there forever and even though I can't see her I sense she's about to break down. I pull out my phone trying to take my mind off what could be going on. My mind wanders to last night with her.

The way she asked for my moms ring was so innocent but she was scared of not having me at arm's length. I wonder if she knew this was gonna happen today.

All of a sudden someone walks into the room with a large file and I catch a glimpse of her. She's crying in there and I just want to wrap my arms around her. The guy that just walked in walks back out without anything and I'm getting nervous for her.

I lean against the wall "MC, what did you get yourself into that I couldn't be there to keep you safe" I say to myself.

As I do, the door opens and she wraps her arms around me crying. I just pull her close as her head leans into my chest. I wish I knew this was gonna happen. I would have made sure she got sleep last night instead of walking around the city.

[s1rcus]

The Road to Love and Truth (Blackhill)

Rating: Teen and up

Words: 2827

Chapter: 2/2

Fandoms: Marvel

Characters: Natasha Romanoff, Maria Hill, Steve Rogers, Nick Fury

Additional tags: -

Summary: Maria struggles after her night with Natasha. She gets some good advice from Steve.

Authors note: Blackhill Bingo square I3 "Steve Rogers"

Story below the cut or in AO3 here

Maria still has a huge headache. She's been debating taking another aspirin to ease it down for the past 10 minutes, but it hasn't been too long since she took the first one and it might just not be working yet. The situation with Romanoff might not be helping either.

Without thinking she's making her way towards Phil's office. She's not sure why, she knows she won't talk about something like this to him. He's a good friend but she just can't talk about her sex life with him, less about feelings. Maybe he'll have some work she can do to distract her from the night before. She can't use her key card on a day off, (Fury has made it very clear she's not supposed to be doing work during any type of leave) so she can't go to her own office to continue work.

Phil isn't in his office. Now that she actually thinks about it, he has been on a mission since yesterday. She still needs something to distract her though. Maybe Fury would let it slide this once if she'd go do work, but she'd rather not see him right now. She decides to just go for a walk. Hopefully that'll clear her head a little.

------

The fresh air does help her headache and clears her head just the tiniest bit as well. She stands outside of the Triskelion for a short time and decides to go for a short walk along the river.

She keeps her eyes mostly on the water as she walks hands in the pockets of her sweats. She probably should've changed if she's honest, but she didn't want to go back to her room. SHIELD agents weren't that rare sight around these parts, but they definitely didn't go out in their gym clothes. She kicks around some pebbles every once in a while that are lying around the sidewalk.

She loses track of time, trying to just focus on nothing but the movement of the water. And she might have let her guard down, because she gets startled, when a hand taps her on the shoulder.

"Maria, what are you doing out here?"

"Jesus, Steve. Warn a girl next time."

"I literally yelled your name when I saw you. You're not usually this distracted. Are you okay?"

There's concern on his face and Maria doesn't like it one bit. She's fine, and even if she wasn't, everyone else needs to think she is.

"Everything's fine," she lies.

Steve gives her a long look, not quite believing her.

"You can always talk to me, you know? Whatever it is that's bothering you, I'll listen."

Damn Steve, and his kind heart.

"I know," she says.

"Okay, well I'm gonna finish my run. Come and find me if you want to talk about whatever this is," he says as he runs past her.

Maria just waves him off. She continues along the river for a while longer until her headache becomes worse again. Deciding it's best to just go back and take another aspirin, she turns around and heads towards the Triskelion again.

------

Eventually Maria realises she needs to talk to someone so she heads towards Steve's quarters and knocks on his door. He opens the door with a smile. They're good friends but it's quite rare she actually ends up on his doorstep.

"Hey, Maria. What's up?"

"I slept with Natasha," she answers as she pushes past him into his room. She sits on his bed, head in her hands. She hears the door click shut as Steve closes it.

"Not what I was expecting. How are you feeling?"

Maria groans at the question, "I don't know. I find out she's queer and few days later I find her in my bed. That's not how that should go. And worst of all I want to do it again, but I don't think I can just keep it at that."

"So you want to ask her out?"

"I think so?" She says and lays down on the bed so she can stare at the ceiling. "But I'm her superior, it's unprofessional, not to mention way too complicated. How am I supposed to be able to send her out there, if I'm worried if she'll make it back? How is Fury supposed to trust in me, if I get compromised because of her? Or what if I make the wrong decision, because I can't--" Steve cuts her off. She feels the bed dip, as he sits next to her on the bed and places a hand on her knee.

"Maria, you're forgetting one important thing, she's the Black Widow, she knows how to handle herself. Do you know how many times she's saved me out there? Because I've lost count by now. And Fury won't see you any differently if you start showing normal people emotions. Also stop worrying about 'what if's. Those are situations you can't know the answers for before it's too late. And for the record, I think you're already compromised. You care more about her than you know. Have for a long time."

"Fuck", Maria breaths the word out.

"Language."

"No, I actually fucked up."

"What did you do?"

"I just left her. She wanted to talk, and I just left her. I wasn't thinking clearly. I told her it was a mistake. Well it technically was because that was definitely not how I wanted that to go, but… I let her believe I don't want her. Shit!" She gets up quickly and starts pacing around. "I gotta go find her. Tell her that I'm sorry for how I treated her. That last night was great. Not that I really remember anything. To hopefully ask her properly out." She freezes on her tracks and turns to face Steve. "What if she says no? How am I supposed to continue working with her then?"

"Maria", Steve warns her.

"Right, won't know the answers before it's too late." She takes a deep breath. "Okay, I'm gonna go to find her. I wonder where she could be."

"At the gym with Barton."

"How would you know that?"

"Just a hunch."

------

She does find Natasha at the gym. She's beating up Barton at the mats. Maria decides to just stay by the door and watch, she'll notice her eventually. Natasha seems more tense than normal, maybe even a little angry. She doesn't move around as smoothly as she usually does. Her movements are a little more jacked, more forced. Maria realises that she's not fighting with a clear head. She's trying to push her feelings out. Maria was the reason the Widow's usually flawlessly smooth fighting style looked harsh and broken. It makes her heart twinge.

Eventually Natasha pins Barton down and he taps out. She gets up and her gaze shifts to Maria's. Maria physically flinches under her gaze. She quickly straightens her back and neutralises her face, when Barton gets back onto his feet and notices her presence.

"Commander," he coughs, eyes moving from Maria to Natasha and back again. After a couple of beats of silence he starts backing towards the men's locker room. "I'll just go then."

Maria just looks at Natasha, not really sure what she's supposed to say. Before she's able to say anything, Natasha turns on her heels and heads towards the women's locker rooms. That gets Maria on the move as well. She runs after Natasha and grabs her from the upper arm.

"Natasha wait," Maria says and Natasha stops on her tracks. "I'm sorry about earlier. Can we talk?"

Natasha turns around and Maria tries to look as apologetic as she can. Natasha just stares at her for a while.

"Fine. My quarters in 10."

Maria nods and drops her hold of the other woman. She didn't even realise she had still been holding her upper arm. Natasha eyes her quickly once more before she turns around again and heads out of sight to the locker room. Maria just stands still for a while, looking after her, until she spins around as well and heads out of the gym and towards Natasha's quarters.

------

Natasha is punctual as ever, and appears exactly 10 minutes later. Maria follows her silently into her room. Natasha sits down on her bed, one leg under herself while the other hangs off the edge. Maria is reminded of the morning. She stays standing near the door, but is faced towards Natasha. She's trying to figure out her words, even though she's been trying to figure out what to say ever since she walked out of Steve's quarters.

"Well?" Natasha prompts her.

"I fucked up. I'm really sorry for how I treated you. I panicked and I fucked up. I try my best to keep my private life and work separate, and I mostly live at work so… I'm having a hard time, to put it lightly. I also have never done this before."

"What? Been with a woman?" Natasha asks with a serious tone. It takes Maria a beat to realise she's not actually seriously asking that.

"No, Romanoff. You know that's not what I meant. I mean sleeping with a co-worker. Actually kinda never slept with anyone without being on a date first. And especially never had someone in my bed in a SHIELD facility."

"So I was your first one night stand?"

"About that, I wouldn't mind doing it again."

"Was I that good?" Natasha asks with a smirk.

"Natasha! I'm not talking about the sex. I'm talking about all of it. Everything since the mission. Spending time together at that bar and during the mission and also everything that came after."

"Wow. Is Commander Hill getting soft?"

"No,” she says. Taking a breath she continues, “I'd just like to see if this could become something. You're one of the few people around here who I can stand, and I actually had a really nice time yesterday. And I'm not regretting what happened after, so that probably says a lot."

Natasha gives her a small smile.

"What changed?"

"What do you mean?"

"You left the room in such a hurry and now you're here saying you don't regret it."

"Yeah, that. I might've talked to Steve and he had some good advice."

"You went to Steve?" Natasha's voice sounds almost scandalous.

"Who else would I go to? Fury? Do you think I have many friends around here? People who I could talk to?"

"Fair enough."

"So, if I'd ask you out on a date what would you say?"

"I would love to, but do you really want to go on a date? Because I feel like we're not the dating kind of people."

That was actually fair, she did always hate going on dates.

"What do you suggest then?"

"How about this?" Maria is really unsure about how she should feel about the smirk that follows that one simple question.

Natasha gets up and walks towards Maria. She stops when their chests are basically touching. She grabs Maria's hands and wraps them around her waist. Then she wraps her own arms around Maria's neck and rises up on her toes to kiss her. Maria basically melts into it. Eventually she lifts Natasha up and they move on the bed. Natasha seems very impressed that Maria can lift her. Maria might be a bit hurt about that.

------

When they decide to leave for an early lunch (neither remembered to eat breakfast), they're barely 100 feet down the hallway from Natasha's room, when they're stopped by a junior agent.

"Commander, Agent Romanoff. Director Fury wants to speak to both of you."

Maria and Natasha exchange a look.

"Did he say what about?" Maria asks.

"Not really," the Agent answers but there's a look on his face Maria doesn't like. It's like he knows something he shouldn't.

Maria debates for a little bit, if she should push and get some answers from him but decides against it. She dismisses the agent and starts heading towards the Directors office with Natasha.

They get a couple weird looks and smiles on the way there. They walk the whole way in silence. Both clearly trying to figure out what Fury wants from them.

Fury sees them immediately, which tells Maria that it's something important. She's getting nervous. Natasha is here as well, so her mind goes only to a specific direction, but how would Fury know?

"Director Fury, you wanted to see us?" Maria greets him.

"Hill, Romanoff. Has either of you checked the news today or any social media?"

Natasha shakes her head. She's been awfully quiet after they ran into that agent.

"No, sir. I haven't checked my phone at all today. Pretty sure it's dead anyway. I've been a bit distracted," Maria answers truthfully. There's no point in lying.

"Well, you probably should stay out of social media for a little while but that's just a suggestion. Do you have anything else to report to me?" His eye shifts from Maria to Natasha and back.

He knows. Maria takes a deep breath. She feels Natasha's hand touch hers, a sign that it's okay.

"Yes, sir. We, uh... Natasha and I are involved."

"Will it be affecting your work?"

"No, sir."

"Then I'm happy for you," he says with the slightest hint of a smile.

Maria is surprised and she can sense that so is Natasha. She lets her posture get a little more relaxed.

"Now to the real reason I invited you in," Fury says as he pulls some tabloid articles up on the screen behind himself. They're all saying basically the same thing: Black Widow at a gay bar with a mystery woman . Some of them have clearly done a better job with trying to figure out who this "mystery woman" is because a couple of them have actual pictures of Maria along with her name. And there's pictures. Pictures of them kissing, the intense looks they changed during that night and pictures of them leaving together.

"We tried to get them down before they spread too far, but clearly we didn't manage that. Anything about the Avengers' personal life spreads like a fire. I'm sorry about the situation it puts you in."

Both of the women just nod. There wasn't anything to say. Fury takes this as his answer and turns off the screen.

"Well then, you're dismissed. Hill, if you could stay for just a little longer?"

Natasha squeezes her shoulder a little before she steps out of the room.

"Sir?"

"No reason to be that formal anymore. This is just me checking on you. How are you feeling?"

"Well, that's a lot, but I think I'm fine. It's not the way I wanted things to go, but I guess it's good that it's out. If we wish to go out, now we don't need to worry if someone sees us or not."

"Okay, still I wish the situation wasn't this. I strongly suggest that you don't check any social media for the next few days. I know you think you can handle it, but there's gonna be some bad stuff there and I'd prefer the dust settles a bit first. Also if anyone, and I mean anyone, in SHIELD gives either of you a hard time because of this, let me know. I will handle it. It's out there, so everyone knows. I wish you could've handled this on your own terms, but the situation is what it is."

Maria smiles at him.

"Thank you, Director. I know I said it won't affect my work, and I truly believe and hope so, but if it ever seems like I'm putting her before the mission; pull me out of it, if possible. I know I won't be happy about it, but I need to know that I won't be making mistakes because I'm compromised."

"Of course. But I have full belief that you'll do great even then."

Maria nods and heads towards the door but Fury's voice makes her turn around before she gets to open it.

"Also, before you go. I am truly happy for you, Maria."

Maria smiles at him and nods her thanks and joins Natasha on the other side of the door.

Natasha hugs her as she closes the door. Maria circles her arms around her and presses her cheek against Natasha's head.

"That went better than I expected." She hears Natasha mumble against her chest.

"It did," Maria agrees.

"I'm so sorry about the articles though. If I would've just realised--" Maria quiets her with a kiss.

"Natasha, there's nothing you could've done about it. The second we walked in there everyone was paying extra attention to us. Those articles would be there even if we hadn't kissed. I'm just glad we did. I don't think I would've ever dared to take this step otherwise," Maria says. She looks Natasha in the eye and they exchange smiles. "Now, how about that lunch?"

[ibelieveinturtles]

A Very Darcy Advent Bingo

I think we've all looked at December at one time or another and thought to ourselves, I should do an Advent Fic thing this year, and then 2 or 5 or 10 days into it, Life Happens and we abandon it.

So, what with Bingos having become my new obsession this year, I thought WHAT ABOUT AN ADVENT BINGO?!?!?

It's low-stress and low-commitment because who needs that at this time of year?

Rules

I've done one bingo card for everyone to share. So no swapping of cards or squares but if there's a prompt you don't vibe with, no worries! Pick yourself a new prompt from any of the lists I've linked. Like I said, Low Stress!

Write as much or as little as you like. No minimum requirements! Same goes for moodboards, art, etc. Want to draw a stick figure? Go ahead!

This is a Darcy event first and foremost but go wild - feel free to ship, crossover, and fuse with who and whatever you want.

Fill the prompts for whatever holidays you celebrate - Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Years etc.

Bingo fills can be fic, poems, artwork (physical or digital), gifsets, moodboards, graphics, playlists, crafts, fanvids, fic recs.

Please remember to include content warnings. If you post your fill on Tumblr and it is NSFW, please leave it under a break.

You can combine with squares from other bingo cards/challenges.

No character/ship bashing, no kink shaming, no incest, underage or bestiality themes please.

Fills are best shared on Tumblr and AO3. Please tag your works #averydarcyadventbingo2020 and #avdab2020, and I've created a collection for Advent Bingo works on AO3 - A Very Advent Bingo.

The Prompts 

G1  Mistletoe / Star / Party

G2  “This calls for eggnog.”

G3  “SNOWBALL FIGHT!”

G4  “Where’s all your holiday spirit, you Scrooge?”

G5  Ugly Avengers Christmas Sweaters

I1  “This tree’s bigger than my future.”

I2  Christmas at Avengers Tower

I3  “How many Christmas lights does one person need?”

I4  Snowman Competition

I5  Family / Midnight / Candles

F1  “My house, my rules. The Christmas music stays on”

F2  “You made gingerbread zombies?”

F3  Free Space (Picture of Darcy as an Elf)

F4  “Hey, cut it out. It’s the holidays.”

F5  Reindeer Games

T1  "O Christmas Groot, O Christmas Groot."

T2  Hannukah / Shield / Bubbles

T3  “Did everyone else come with a date?”

T4  Twinkle / Hot / Taser

T5  “Aren’t you just Santa’s Little Helper?”

S1  "It's a bird, it's a plane, it's…"

S2  “How did you manage to get tangled up in tinsel?”

S3  Dreidel / Presents / Night

S4  “I can’t believe no one has spiked the eggnog yet”

S5  Darcy Bakes

Prompt Sources (1) (2) (3)

Other fandoms 1000000% welcome to use. Go wild.

[darthbloodorange]

Here are all the works I created for the @samwilsonbingo Round 1.

[Link to my Extended Masterlist on Dreamwidth]

[Warning! Some of the following works may contain; Adult Content, Mental Health issues, Violence etc. Each work should be tagged with warnings. For full tags, please visit my Dreamwidth for my extended masterlists.]

~

★ Card 1 - SFW★

[B1] – Fantasy [Moodboard] The Mage and the Knight - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Sam and Steve come together to take on the Hydra threating the kingdom, and fall in love along the way. TumblrLINK / AO3link [B2] – Bakery [Moodboard] Free Bird Bakery - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Sam and Steve retire from superheroing and open up a bakery together. They spend their days enjoying flour fights, creating delicious treats, and loving one another. TumblrLINK / AO3link [B3] – Rags to Riches [Moodboard] Finally There - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: They finally made it after all those years. They've been working hard for that perfect future since they got together in college. Now they were finally here, moving into their dream house. Next step: pets... maybe a kid or two. TumblrLINK / AO3link [B4] – Training [Moodboard] The Gym - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: After the fall of SHIELD, Sam needs to find a new place to train, preferably somewhere small and quiet. He finds a local gym, where he meets the gymnast Steve Rogers. TumblrLINK / AO3link [B5] – Stressed [Moodboard] Sam’s Vacation - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Sam takes a well-earned vacation, trusting the other Avengers to take care of things while he sets down the Shield and gets some much-needed R&R. His vacation is made all the better when he meets massage therapist Steve Rogers. TumblrLINK / AO3link

✪

[I1] – AU: Modern Setting [Moodboard] On the Football Team - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Sam and Steve meet at university; attending on sports scholarships. They become fast friends, then more, moving in together on campus in their second year. TumblrLINK / AO3link [I2] – Steve Rogers [Moodboard] Fresh Food - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: It's hard, but Sam manages to find time to continue working at the VA while he's Captain America. One day, while at the VA, Sam gets to meet the head gardener of a local community garden that donates extra produce grown to the VA. Sam may be smitten... TumblrLINK / AO3link [I3] – Compromised [Drabble] Compromised - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 100 Words Summery: Purple Base is compromised, Sam isn't too worried though... TumblrLINK / AO3link [I4] – Flying [Art] Flying with Redwing - Pg - 616 - Sam & Redwing - 0 Words Summery: Sam flying with Redwing TumblrLINK / AO3link [I5] – Paparazzi [Drabble] Paparazzi - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 100 Words Summery: The paparazzi interrupt Sam and Steve's date. TumblrLINK / AO3link

✪

[N1] – Role Reversal [Drabble] Questionable Hook-Up - Teens and Up - MCU - SamSteve - 100 Words Summery: Sam's been in this line of work long enough to know this is a bad idea. But there was something about the man that just drew him in. TumblrLINK / AO3link [N2] – Cap!Sam [Moodboard] Date with the Fireman - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Firefighter Captain Steve Rogers asks Sam back to his place for drinks after Sam helps him out. Sam is delighted (he'd been wondering how to ask the man out for a while.) TumblrLINK / AO3link [N3] – Free Space [Moodboard] Camping Together under the Starry Skies - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Sam and Steve go camping to spend some time alone together, away from the pressures of the world. TumblrLINK / AO3link [N4] – Natasha Romanov [Moodboard] Romantic Samtasha - Pg - MCU - SamNat - 0 Words Summery: Sam and Nat & Roses and Candles TumblrLINK / AO3link [N5] – Human Disaster [Drabble] One of Us - Pg - Avengers Assemble - Gen (Sam & Avengers Team) - 100 Words Summery: Maybe, he thinks, joining the Avengers wasn't such a great idea... TumblrLINK / AO3link

✪

[G1] – Mermaid AU [Moodboard] Captain Wilson’s Treasure of the Sea - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Sam is notorious for being the only pirate able to charm the merpeople. And he has a favourite who loves to bring him painted seashells, Steve. TumblrLINK / AO3link [G2] – Werewolf [Moodboard] A Warm Den - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Sam and Steve buy a nice cabin in the woods to spend their full moons... and maybe, sometime in the future, raise some pups. TumblrLINK / AO3link [G3] – Struggling Artist [Moodboard] Love and all that Jazz - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Sam performs at a small gay bar, hoping to earn enough tips to pay rent... he doesn't expect to fall for a man, a friend of the manager, who happened to come in that night to repaint the art on the walls. TumblrLINK / AO3link [G4] – First Date/Kiss [Moodboard] Picnic Date - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Not wanting the attention of the media, or the crowd they'd undoubtedly draw at a restaurant, Sam and Steve have a quiet picnic as a first date. TumblrLINK / AO3link [G5] – Humor [Drabble] PSAs - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 100 Words Summery: Steve never going to live those films down. Sam and the team were going to make sure of it. TumblrLINK / AO3link

✪

[O1] – Slow Burn [Drabble] Accidental Slow Burn - Teens and Up - MCU - SamSteve - 100 Words Summery: It's been months since they had gotten together. They'd both been waiting for the other to be ready to take the next step in their relationship... Not realising that they were ready long ago... TumblrLINK / AO3link [O2] – Wing Fic [Moodboard] Hearts and Feathers - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Whenever they're apart, they like to keep each other's feathers tucked against their hearts. TumblrLINK / AO3link [O3] – Avengers Tower [Art] Billiards - Mature - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Sam and Steve fucking over the Billiard table in Avengers Tower. TumblrLINK / AO3link [O4] – Running on Coffee [Moodboard] Love, Cafés and Coffee - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Being Captain America is hard work, sometimes he thinks coffee is the only thing keeping him going. One day, after a long meeting, he finds a small café on his search for coffee. There is a cute barista to smile whenever he sees him, laughs at all his jokes. Sam is smitten, and it's clear the guy is too. He worries if Steve would fit into his wild superhero life. TumblrLINK / AO3link [O5] – Enemies to Lovers [Drabble] Morning Routine - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 100 Words Summery: Sam enters the kitchen, stretching with a yawn. TumblrLINK / AO3link

~ ~ = + = ~ ~

★ Card 2 - Lemon★

[B3] – Phone Sex [Drabble] Meeting Sexts - Mature - MCU - SamSteve - 100 Words Summery: Steve keeps sexting Sam during meetings TumblrLINK / AO3link

✪

[I1] – Lingerie [Moodboard] Pretty for You - Mature - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Sam and Steve love dressing up for one another, playing with lace and lingerie. TumblrLINK / AO3link

✪

[N1] – Exhibitionism [Drabble] Slipping away from the Party (To have one of their own) - Mature - MCU - SamSteve - 100 Words Summery: Sam and Steve sneak out of one of Stark's charity galas to have sex. TumblrLINK / AO3link [N2] – Crossdressing [Drabble] Pretty - Mature - MCU - SamSteve - 100 Words Summery: Sam and Steve like dressing up pretty for one another. TumblrLINK / AO3link [N3] – Free Space [Moodboard] Steamy Celebration - Mature - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Sam and Steve celebrate Sam taking up the Captain America mantel. TumblrLINK / AO3link [N4] – A/B/O Smut [Drabble] Slippery - Mature - MCU - SamSteve - 100 Words Summery: Sam and Steve enjoy their heats synching up. TumblrLINK / AO3link [N5] – Dom/Sub [Moodboard] Give and Take - Pg - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: There is something freeing about giving your trust and control to someone, the intimacy that comes with the vulnerability. There is no one Sam and Steve trust more than each other. TumblrLINK / AO3link

✪

[G1] – Shower Sex [Moodboard] Post-Mission Ritual - Mature - MCU - SamSteve - 0 Words Summery: Things get hot and steamy in the shower after Sam and Steve return from missions. TumblrLINK / AO3link

[avengerscompound]

Bartoned - Chapter 8

Bartoned - A Hawkeye Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Square: @clintbartonbingo​ - I3, Trust

Rating:  M

Warnings:  angsty, sex talk, unplanned pregnancy, talk of abortion

Pairing: Clint Barton x F!Reader

Word Count:  1625

Summary:  Clint’s name has become synonymous with fucking things up.  When you have a one night stand with him, your whole life gets Bartoned.

Chapter 8

At least Steve had been good about this pregnancy.  He’d spoken to you in private and said while the timing wasn’t ideal, he’d make it work.  Training would stay the same unless it got to the point it couldn’t.  Then he’d work out something else.  He’d work out ways for you to learn the fighting techniques without heaving sparring, so there would be no risk to the baby.

The last time you spoke to Clint had been in that closet when you told him you were pregnant and that had been a week ago.  He hadn’t even been showing up to training anymore.  You wondered if you’d broken him in some way.

It was the weekend when you saw him again.  Normally you’d go out, but the funk you’d been dragged into made everything feel like such effort.  You’d ordered pizza and when there was a knock at your door, you’d assumed it was the pizza guy.

It was Clint.

He stood at the door looking sheepish and guilty.  His eyes rested on just about everything except you.  “Can I come in?” he asked.

You stepped out of the way and he came in just as the delivery guy appeared in the stairwell.  You paid him and came and sat down opening the box and grabbing a slice before pulling the blanket back over yourself and starting to eat.  You didn’t say a word to Clint during that time and you could tell that the silence was eating at him.  He stood fidgeting, not sure if he should sit, or start talking or turn around and leave again.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally.

You grunted through your mouthful of pizza but other than that didn’t acknowledge him.  You weren’t even sure which part he was apologizing for.  The initial ghosting.  The more recent ghosting.  Or the fact that he had not worn a fucking condom when you’d told him to.

He seemed to decide he needed to sit and moved to the recliner near you.  “I guess… I guess I should just talk,” he said and when you didn’t respond he let out a breath.  “I’m sorry about the condom thing.  I really… I guess I got caught up in the moment.  I was sure you meant don’t worry about wearing one.  But why would you mean that?  You didn’t know me.  Fuck, I can’t even believe I didn’t do it anyway.  Like… you could have been anyone.  I’m sorry I did that.  I’m a fucking idiot.”

You nodded and took another bite of the pizza.

He scrubbed his hands down his face and continued.  “I’m sorry I cut you off like that.  I freaked out.  It wasn’t your fault.  I just… I thought it would be fun, us working together and all at once it hit me I’d just dragged you into this world where you could really get hurt.  I was blaming myself for the fact they attacked you.  It was my class.  And I couldn’t even do anything to comfort you because I had to be the boss.  I fucking hated it.  And … and the only way I could think to deal with it was if we weren’t friends anymore.  In my head being your friend meant that you’d definitely get killed and it would definitely be my fault.”

You sighed and looked back at him.  “You really hurt me, Clint.  Weren’t we doing what we were doing to avoid the ‘getting hurt’ bit?”

He sunk back into the couch and huffed.  “I am the worst person.”

“Don’t do that,” you said.

“What?”

“Try and make me feel sorry for you.  Don’t try and make me tell you how, no, no, it’s okay.  You’re a good person,” you said.

He sat up and looked at you.  “Right.  Sorry.  I guess I do that sometimes.  I’ll … yeah.”  He paused and shook his head.  “I’m sorry.  My point was, it’s on me.  It wasn’t anything you did.  It was the same self-sabotaging bullshit I’m always on.  I do want to be friends with you but I understand if I hurt you too much for you to want it too.”

You shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I mean… were we ever really friends, Clint?  We knew each other a bit and then one day we decided we’d be friends for a handful of weeks we fucked constantly.  Then you ghosted me.  Is that friends?”

He seemed to shrink down.  “I thought it was.  For a bit.  I really like being around you.”

“I liked being around you too… and now here we are.  Completely fucked.  I don’t even know what to do.”

He looked up and huffed again.  “What do you want to do?  If I hadn’t been a complete asshole.  If we were still how we were.  What would you do?”

“I’d want to keep it,” you said, without even needing to think about it.�� “It’s dumb.  I know it’s dumb.  We weren’t together.  We barely knew each other.  But we were making our dumb thing work and I do want to be a parent and maybe… our dumb thing would work and I could forego shitty relationships and still get what I wanted.” 

Clint shook his head.  “It’s not dumb.  I think wanting to have a kid with me is the idea of a huge masochist, but it’s not dumb.”

“But you did do that, Clint.  And even though I do want to be a mother, I have no idea how I could do it alone,” you said, running your hand over your stomach.

“You don’t have to be.  Alone that is.  I think I’d probably be a shit dad, but… I’ll step up.  I dunno.  I like kids,” he said, ruffling his hand through his hair.  “Besides, I think you’d be a great mom.  And - And I couldn’t live with myself if I was the reason you didn’t get to be one.”

You shook your head.  “I feel the same about forcing you to be a parent, Clint.”

Clint sighed and tapped his hands on his thighs.  “Can I tell you something?”  You nodded and he began to twist his hands together.  “My dad was really abusive.  Like… daily beating abusive.  I’m deaf in one ear because of him.  Then when my parents died I just bounced from one abusive foster home to another until I ran away.  I don't know anything other than that.  How can I be a good parent to anyone when I have no idea what that looks like?”

“So when you've dated in the past you were abusive?  If I called up Nat or Bobbi that's what they'd tell me?” you asked.

“What?  No?  I would never…”

“Do you dislike kids?  Find yourself irrationally angry around them?”

He shook his head.  “No.  I like kids.  Back when I was at SHIELD and I had my own place I used to babysit for this single mom down the hall.  It was fun.”

You grabbed another slice of pizza though it wasn't really sitting right.  You felt slightly queasy and you really wish you had a milkshake.  “Then I think you might be overthinking it.  I dunno though.  I pretty much firmly sit on the line of the last people who should be parents are people who don't want to be.”

“Can I have a slice of that pizza?” Clint asked.

“Knock yourself out,” you answered as you lay down on the couch.

He took a slice and folded it in half before he took a bite.  “I don't not want kids.  I think that kids would not want me,” he said, mouth still full.  “If you want to do this, and you want me to be part of it, I'm in.  I'll do whatever you want me to do.  If you can't stand being around me, I can give you money and leave you alone.  If you want me to move in and try at happy families.  I'll do that too.  But I'm in.  I'll support you.”

You looked at him, sizing him up.  “Yeah?”

“Yeah.  Whatever you want.”

“You know what I want?”

He looked at you and frowned.  “Not to be pregnant?”

You shook your head.  “No.  A chocolate malted.”

Clint got out his phone.  “I think there's somewhere that will deliver.”

“Seriously?” you said.

“What city do you live in?  This is Manhattan, baby.  Whatever you want, whenever you want.  Here look.  They have just chocolate or you can do choco fudge or cookie dough…”

“They have malt?” you said.

He nodded, a huge grin on his face. “Why would I do you dirty like that?  Of course, they do.”

“Chocolate fudge then,” you said.

“Done and done,” Clint said, tapping on his phone.  “It's on its way.  You want me to go?”

“What so I can have some alone time with my milkshake?”

Clint started laughing.  “No.  Because I'm an asshole and I've used up my time.”

You shook your head.  “No.  I know we didn't know each other that well, but I have actually missed you, Barton,” you said.  “Besides, if we're going to try and raise a baby together, we should at least try and be friends.”

Clint sat forward on his seat and smiled broadly.  “Really?  We’re going to do this?”

“Yeah, but you're on thin ice.  No more ghosting me.  If you're scared, you tell me.”

He nodded.  “I promise.  I'll even make sure I tell Nat to beat me up if I even look like flaking out.”

“Good,” you said with a nod.

He grabbed another slice of pizza and relaxed back in the chair.  You took a deep breath in and as you let it out you told yourself, new start.  Time to let him prove himself.

// NEXT

[locktobre]

Ooh, your Princess Power soft reboot has me intrigued! Could you possibly expand on it more? Like how Kara and Corrine lose their powers, get new ones, and how Wes becomes a villain? I myself don't him because he LITERALLY revealed Kara's identity for views and that's. fricked up.- That PCS Anon

Sure, I can do that. I debated how deep to go into it, bc my Princess Power headcanons (like everything else) depend so heavily on a million other things, but hopefully this ended up semi-coherent. It also ends up fairly dark, as my Princess Power/Spy Squad backstory are some of the darkest headcanons I have. So fair warning for that. I’m not solid on some of this (I always say, it’s not canon until I actually put it in a fic), but as of now, here’s how it’s gonna go down:

Kara, Corinne & their powers

Kara and Corinne lose their powers for two reasons: 1) It makes sense to me that they would, and 2) It gets rid of the pet powers, too, which I need to happen bc I just think it’s beyond ridiculous that they got them in the first place. (Not Bruce’s, but I might get rid of him another way. We’ll see.) The Baron, whom I’ve named Charles, drank a potion, which I can buy as producing a permanent change. But the girls got their powers from a mutated butterfly, and somehow... it’s supposed to be equivalent? I don’t think so! So I have their powers start to fade some time after the movie, as their powers are actually tied to the butterfly’s life force, and it’s dying. Butterflies don’t live for very long on average (less than a year), and also having the butterfly die keeps anyone else from getting powers that way, since that was already a whole fiasco. (It’s a magical butterfly, but it’s given out powers 4 times, so that’s sapped it more than anything.)

Kara and Corinne have opposite reactions to this: Kara is horrified, and wants to find some way to get her powers back, but Corinne is sort of relieved, since without powers, they can go back to being normal. I think the high of being a superhero would wear off pretty quickly for Corinne, especially since she’s not competing with Kara anymore.

Kara, in her desperation, goes to see Charles and see how he got his powers, bc she will do anything to keep hers, at this point. The novelization says that Kara connects the butterfly to Charles, but as I pointed out in my post about it, she has absolutely no reason to do that, bc it makes no sense whatsoever. So since she doesn’t know where the magic butterfly came from, she goes to the guy she knows also got powers out of nowhere. I’m not sure what he would tell her, but even if he doesn’t say anything, she could still search his lab and maybe have Madison and Makayla reverse-engineer the potion (which I think would go badly, as they’re engineers, not chemists). Whatever the case, she ends up drinking that potion, and that combined with the last of the butterfly magic, produces... a mutation. I go back and forth on whether I want that mutation to be permanent, or if she can shift between butterfly and human forms, but that’s how she ends up. I’m thinking there may be some sort of chrysalis stage she goes through, bc I need her to be sidelined for Corinne’s power reset, but like I said, I’m still working on this.

Corinne is in some kind of lab accident (possibly in Madison and Makayla’s lab, or maybe in Windemere’s I3 branch), and ends up with her new powers. However, she takes this opportunity to say that her powers actually wore off for good, and essentially retires, which she feels comfortable with bc there are two other heroes running around with Kara now. She’s technically the strongest of all of them, so she’ll step in if they really need her, but she leaves the day-to-day stuff to them. She might stay in hero support with Violet, or she might just go back to her life for the most part.

Wes’ descent into villainy

This one has gone through a few different stages, and I honestly don’t know where I’m going to land with him. I’ll most likely give him a redemption arc at some point, but I’m gonna put him through the wringer first bc he is a weasel who outed Kara for no reason and I’m spiteful like that. And I’ve said before that I don’t think Kara was as unaffected by that as the movie would have us believe.

Anyway, with all that, I think his motivation stems from a combination of rejection from Kara, and goading from others. The rejection from Kara is not romantic, bc I’ve always thought of him as too old for her--he tries to pass himself off as a serious journalist in the movie, which wouldn’t work if he was a teenager, would it? So I think he’s like, 20--but like, she doesn’t want to be his friend anymore. She’d be cordial but not all buddy-buddy like she was before, and he’d be able to feel the difference.

So, there’s that, putting a wedge between them, and at that point, he’s got ppl whispering in his ear and enabling him, for their own purposes. Originally, this was going to be Charles, but I think Charles is just a smidge too goofy. He seems interested in power, but also like he would have no idea what to do with it if he had it. Like, you want to be king... why, exactly? What are you gonna do once you have the throne? He’s not exactly stupid (altho, I mean, I’d call having Bruce around stupid), but not like, cunning enough to manipulate someone in that way.

We’re gonna take a detour for a second to talk about Charles’ family and some backstory, since that will make this make more sense (I think). Bear with me.

Basil was the Baron before Charles, and also the head of Windemere’s branch of I3 (WI3). He had a good public face, but behind the scenes, he was a real shady bastard. WI3 is almost entirely corrupt due to his influence. He’s the reason Charles ended up as a villain. The reason Philip and Anne didn’t is that they got away from his influence.

Philip went to work in the USA in the late 80s, at LA’s branch of I3 (obviously, as per Spy Squad). Anne was also in LA in the 90s, having her secret relationship with Finn, and while Philip was aware of what she doing, he didn’t rat her out, in part bc he had his own relationship that resulted in a child. (Patricia wasn’t given up for adoption like Sloane was, but she was raised primarily by her mother, as per Marguerite’s wishes, which worked out pretty well for Philip’s situation. They were a way more casual relationship than Finn and Anne.) Anne eventually did return to Windemere, but her charity work and Camp Royalty actually kept her away for the most part. So Philip and Anne had long periods away from their father and his tyranny. They did try to get Charles away too, but Basil had a much tighter hold on him (as the eldest son and heir), and also Charles actually ended believing in Basil’s vision for their future, which Philip and Anne never did. (I’ll point out now that I do feel bad for Charles, and he may get a redemption arc at some point, too.)

Anyway, so Basil does a lot of shady shit. He has Wendy Marvin (mother of Lazslo, Madison, and Makayla) killed in 2006; she was an engineer at WI3 and didn’t like how they wanted to use her research, as she joined to help ppl, not hurt them. And soon after that she died in a fire in her lab. Two years later, her husband Lysander, dies in a similar “accident”; he was actually Kara’s doctor, and trying to determine the cause her mysterious illness.

While Basil did know that Lysander suspected foul play, he did not know that Lysander had actually approached Eleanor about it, wondering if she had seen Basil doing anything suspicious. (Everything the man did was suspicious, but she knows what he means.) After Lysander’s death, Eleanor puts the pieces together and realizes that yeah, Basil was doing something to Kara (most likely slowly poisoning her, as that’s what Lysander had thought). Kara’s about 9 years old at the time--not that it would be any better if she was older, but she’s really just an innocent little kid. (Incidentally, this mysterious illness is why Kara’s parents are so overprotective of her. They never find out what was causing it, or figure out how she got better.)

At this point, Eleanor decides she’s had enough, she’s watched her husband corrupt their son and drive their other two children away and she’s not been able to do anything about it (who would believe her? He’s a perfect gentleman, in public), so she decides to end it. She kills Basil, and then her self. (She would have happily gone to jail for putting the world out of his misery, but she knows that with his contacts at WI3, she’s on borrowed time as soon as he’s dead. And she wants to go out on her own terms.)

This actually lines up with where I put the events of Spy Squad, in 2008. Philip was already about to transfer to WI3, as per Basil’s wishes, to be his #2. But then, with his father dead, Philip actually ends up in charge of WI3, and his #2 is his father’s former right-hand man, Creighton Weaver. (Basil was going to try to get Philip back under his thumb, before his death. He had mostly tolerated him being in LA bc he didn’t need him in Windemere, but once that was no longer true, time to come home, son.) Weaver’s every bit the bastard that Basil was, and Philip can tell, but he has no proof. So Philip is in WI3, with nobody he can trust except Patricia and Lazslo, who ended up transferring with him. (Lazslo so he can be there for his sisters, Patricia bc she wants to be there for Lazslo. And also her dad, kind of.) He basically starts collecting any evidence he can on anybody at WI3, but doesn’t make a move, bc technically nobody is getting hurt (none of the shady research is being applied), and he wants to flush everyone out in one go, if he can.

Fast forward to the summer of 2015, and the events of Princess Power happen. WI3 is contacted to try to make sure that Charles can’t escape his cell, so they end up being one of the few who actually know what happened to him, due to the actual events leading up to the volcano’s eruption being pretty well covered up. Now, Weaver’s known for 7 years that Philip is trying to take him and his cohorts down, but he’s played dumb bc it’s been convenient. However, with Charles going full supervillain, Weaver decides it’s time to jump ship, so he and a bunch of the other most corrupt agents at WI3 basically leave to go be Charles’ henchmen. I’ve tried to come up with a more poetic name for their organization, but so far I only have Dunbar Loyalists--their ultimate goal, of course, being to put Charles on the throne of Windemere, by any means necessary.

However, as I said before, Charles is... not exactly the valiant leader they were looking for. He’s not the man his father was, that’s for sure, so Weaver’s the one actually calling the shots, bc he knows Charles isn’t up to it. And Charles is pretty fine with that, as long as they’re helping him. Makes things easier. (Incidentally, I think this will end up being the set-up to Charles’ redemption arc. Bc teaming up with them, and especially Weaver, is going to get him in way over his head, and I think he might decide at some point it’s not worth it. Especially if Philip and Anne ever end up in danger, bc I think they still do care for each other, even with everything that happened.)

So, to bring this all the way back around to Wes, since Charles isn’t really the type to be manipulative... Weaver certainly is. So I think he’s going to be the one to do it. He can push Wes’ buttons, tell him that no, Kara isn’t right to be mad at you for outing her. You were just doing what you had to do, for yourself, and that’s good. She thinks she’s so great just bc she has powers, you should get back at her, you should show her that you can be special, too. And I just happen to have the technology to make that happen. (Remember, the Loyalists are made up of at least some shady engineers.) So he gives Wes some kind of experimental super suit and sets him loose in the city to wreak havoc against Kara and her crew, mostly to keep everyone’s eyes on that while he does other stuff. Weaver is basically a puppet master for crime in Windemere lol.

And that’s about as much as have so far, which feels like a lot and also a little. I’m not sure how the whole thing will end, who will be redeemed, who might end up dying... Not sure. It could go a lot of different ways, but that’s for future me to decide. I hope that was at least somewhat interesting, even if it was also... very dark. I didn’t try to make it that way, but when dealing with superheroes and spies, it just kind of happens.

[anotheronechicagobog]

Dunder Mifflin Meets Intelligence AKA

Volomag and Vodka Part 2

Warnings: swearing, mention of vomit, numerous times, pranks

Written by @anotheronechicagobog

A/N I hope you guys laugh at this as much as I did writing it. The pranks are from a show called “The Office U.S.”, I do not own that or One Chicago Also, Kevin’s sister Vinessa makes an appearance

Whoever coined the term ‘morning sickness’ deserves a slow and painful death. Kim thought bitterly as she was hugging the toilet at ten at night. “Kim? I made you some ginger tea and I got you a glass of water.”

“I fucking love you.”All Adam could do was laugh as he sat on the edge of the bathtub and gathered Kim’s hair in one hand and rubbed his hand up and down her back. Kim let out a grateful hum before her stomach lurched again. The gruesome sound of Kim spewing more stomach acid (because let’s face it, there’s nothing else left for her to throw up) into the porcelain toilet bowl.

Several minutes later Kim felt better, not good, but better. She felt okay enough to get off the floor. She stood up and grabbed the glass of water Adan had brought her from the sink counter and washed out her mouth before grabbing her toothbrush to complete the process of removing the acidic bitterness from her mouth. By the time she raised the mug of tea to her lips it was cold. “Thank you, Adam. For everything.” Her eyes met his in the mirror as he came up behind her to wrap his arms around her middle. “No thanks is necessary. This feels like a dream come true.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I... I don’t think that I’ve been this happy in a long time. I know that we’ve had our issues, but I love you. I have for years. Even when we broke up, I can’t stop. Even if I wanted to.”

“I love you too.” And she did. She might not know where she stands with him right now, she might not want to be labelled as his girlfriend right now, but she does love him. Dating after Adam was hard because she was always comparing them. No matter who they were or how much she tried to stop it, none of them came even close to the bar that Adam had raised. “C’mon,” he kissed the crown of her head, “let’s go to bed, we’ve got work in the morning and you might wake up a few more times in the night.” She smiled softly as he guided her towards her bedroom.

They hadn’t moved in together, but they were looking for a place. Three bedrooms. One for the baby, and one per adult. Adam and Kim, they had such a dramatic history, that they weren’t actually sure how to handle it. They wanted to have this baby, they wanted to parent together, they just weren’t sure if they should be in a relationship while doing so. It was a complicated situation, but they were doing their best to make it work.

————————————————————————————————————

The next day Kim was standing behind the desk at the 21st district. It was a... Unique change, because despite her bubbly personality, she’d managed to be grumpier than Trudy was behind the desk. It had absolutely nothing to do with the work, the officers, or the civilians, and everything to do with her pregnancy symptoms. Nausea and soreness kept her awake at night, causing her to be exhausted and in need of coffee, but she can’t have coffee! And on top of all that, people were constantly bringing food in that thrust her into a constant state of “if I don’t keep my mouth closed I’m going to hurl on everything in front of me, yes I have tried ginger ale, saltines, and ginger tea, and no, none of them have worked”. She was excited to be a mom but she was ready to behead somebody.

“Hey mama, how are you holding up?” Trudy, yes she was letting Kim call her by her first name now, had become her saving grace. Since Kim was covering the desk Trudy was free to do work in the back office and go on patrol. In return, Trudy was making sure Kim always water, Gatorade, and Polish beef barley soup (it was the only thing that didn’t make her hurl). “I haven’t disintegrated anyone with a glare today, so good.”

“Ha! Well, I brought another blue raspberry one for you. I’m gonna head out with Tay for the day since O’Donnel is out sick today.”

“I’m so glad that you were able to get her assigned to 21 again. I missed her.”

“Spare me the love fest, Burgess.” Her tone may have been snappy but the smile on her face and light in her eyes gave away just how happy she was. “Have a good day Sargent.”

“You too.”

————————————————————————————————————

Hailey and Vanessa had been keeping her up to date with all the goofiness of intelligence. All the jokes and all the pranks. When they noticed that Kim looked like she was going to cry, scream, and throw up, they figured they should do something to cheer her up. And since nothing ridiculously funny was happening on its own, they decided to make it happen, with some inspiration from one Jim Halpert.

First, they decided to try one of Vanessa’s favourites. The vending machine prank. They grabbed all of the small knick-knacks from the guys’ desks (excluding Voight because they didn’t have a death wish) and convinced the vending machine guy to let them put them in the vending machine. Adam’s Groot bobblehead, name plaque, and Chicago Bears bouncy ball, in places C4, D2, and H7 respectively. Kevin’s Chicago Blackhawks hockey puck, large globe pencil sharpener, and small Chicago bears teddy bear, in places A6, I3, and F2. Jay’s magic 8 ball, Deadpool figurine, and ‘cereal killer’ spoon, in places G5, D9, and A3.

Second, they moved Kevin’s desk into the bathroom. Phones, computers all plugged in. And aside from the items in the vending machine, all were where they normally were on Kevin’s desk. Vanessa even placed all of his files in order and each spine of the folder a couple of centimetres forward each level. So it looked kind of like a staircase made of folders, and that was how he always did it, according to Vanessa. That earned the dark-haired woman a knowing chuckle from Hailey who, Vanessa reminded, really didn’t have room to talk.

Third, they moved Jay’s desk into the corner of the bullpen, where Al’s used to be, and put a large navy blanket over it. Figuring that was enough to keep his desk out of sight. Together, with some scrap wood from one bewildered Matt Casey, they wrapped the pieces of wood together in such a way that they imitated a desk, a chair, a computer monitor, a phone (that one was a pain), his file divider, pencil cup, pencils and pens, and stacks of files. They were both so proud when the got to look at the finished product.

Fourth, Hailey had gone to a hardware store and gotten a spool of red wire. She plugged on end into Adam’s monitor before placing the wiring with tape along the front of his desk, the floor, all around the edge of the break room, out into the bullpen again, before going down the hallway to the interrogation room, up the wall across from the gun safes, attached to a plastic tub filled with neon coloured ping pong balls. This one went a little off-script, but they were both excited to see how it would turn out.

Fifth and finally, they took the containers out of the fridge that they had made first so that the contents would have time to solidify. Taking off the lids of the three containers, the two women flipped them over quickly onto plates. Thankfully the jello stayed completely intact, each confection clearly showing the mugs inside.

Giggling they stood back and high fived, feeling good and excited for the next day. A heavy cough interrupted them from their internal praise and sense of accomplishment. “Sargent. Hi. What are you doing here so late? We don’t have a case.”

“I was about to ask you two ladies the same thing Upton.” The two women looked at each other and sighed, knowing they were caught, Hailey answered.

“We were setting up pranks for the guys.”

“Don’t you two think that’s a bit childish?”

“It’s to cheer Kim up. She’s been so stressed, and the pregnancy symptoms have been so awful that we thought she needed a good laugh. Plus, it’s not like the guys will get mad at us. Adam and Kevin will go puppy-eyed once they realize this was all for Kim, and Jay’s in love with Hailey so he won’t be mad at her, and he can’t be mad at me if he isn’t mad at her since we came up with all of this together.”

“Hey! He doesn’t... Whatever,” she muttered when she saw the look Voight gave her, “Plus, we didn’t do anything that involved your office, your stuff, or you.”

“... Alright. At least there’ll be some entertainment to distract from the boredom of spending all day doing paperwork. Now get out of here, get some sleep, you have to be back here in five hours.”

————————————————————————————————————

“... Where is my desk?”

“Forget that, why is mine wrapped up like some kind of present?”

“Mine looks fine... But different? Does that even make sense?”

“I’m gonna need coffee if I’m gonna deal with whatever th fuck this is.”

“Start a big pot, Kev.”

“Hey what is this red wire? And duct tape?”

“It’s a computer, Ruzek. It has wires.”

“Thank you for your sarcasm Rojas, but seriously, what is going on? And why are your and Hailey’s desks normal?” Hailey pulled out her phone and started recording Adam as he unplugged the red wire and pulling it up. The duct tape came up with a sticky ripping sound. Everyone watched closely and angeled themselves to get a better look as the tape lifted up from the bullpen floor and continued into the breakroom, Adam growled in frustration as he exited the breakroom pulling the wire up just after he had entered and gone in a circle. Everyone followed him curiously as he went down the hall to the interrogation room, just as Jay was about to shout out an agitated question, the tape went up the wall. When Adam gave a final tug, the last bit of tape came off the wall, but he’d also pulled the rest of the wire, at what it was connected to, down to him. Causing started gasps and shouts from the guys as 100 neon ping-pong balls rained down from the ceiling all over them. “Okay seriously, what was that?!” Hailey, Vanessa, and Voight were all in the background enjoying the show.

“Wait, wait... Do you hear that?” The shouts stopped and everyone strained their ears to listen to what Kevin was pointing out. A desk phone ringing. From the men’s bathroom. Voight subtly took Hailey’s phone to continue the recording. “What the hell?!” Kevin, Adam, and Jay had found Kevin’s desk in the bathroom. Looking confused as hell he looked to his brothers before picking up the phone. “... Hello? Oh, hi Vinessa. Listen I’m gonna have to call you back, something’s going on at work. I love you okay? Say ‘hi’ to auntie for me... Okay, I’ll tell Kim you say ‘hi’. Bye.” He hung up the phone before sitting down and stretching his arms out over his desk. Almost nothing is out of place. “What the ACTUAL fuck?! And where is my hockey puck?!”

“Okay, now I’m even more curious as to why my desk is wrapped up like a birthday present.” Numbly nodding their heads all the men left the bathroom and cornered Jay’s desk. Vanessa had Hailey’s phone and she watched with her boss and roommate as they did their best not to blow their cover. Jay shook his head, puzzled at the state of his desk before putting his arm on his desk and plopping down in his chair... Everything immediately collapsed. Leaving the girls pushing back tears as Jay tried to stand up in the sea of slippery wrapping paper and wood. “Fucking hell someone please tell me that the coffee is done.” He looked like Bambi on ice trying to get up as Kevin hollered from the breakroom, “pot’s done! And thank fucking God for that! Hey! Why is my hockey puck in the vending machine?!” Hailey and Jay followed the crowd in last, Hailey having to help her partner get up. They entered and Adam looked like he was about to blow a gasket. “My name plaque! Groot! Who- Why would someone do this?!”

“Who the fuck put Deadpool in the vending machine?! And where is my desk?!”

Taking shaky breaths all the boys muttered the holy word; “coffee.” Kevin went to get the creamer when he stopped dead in his tracks. Three thuds later, and each of the boys’ favourite mugs were on the counter, floating in piss yellow jello. “Why is my mug in jello?”

“I washed these last night! First the ping-pong balls and now this?!” Adam reached into the jello and pulled his mug out, the jiggly substance still visible inside the mug. The two pranksters (and witness) burst into tear-jerking laughter. Hailey snatched her phone back and sloppily emailed the video to Kim before the boys could stop her. “O-oh - oh m-y- Fu- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“You two did this?!” The girls quickly got off the floor and hauled ass to the women’s bathroom. The lock clicked just as the guys reached the door. “Hey!”

“Get out here now!”

“What did we do to deserve this?!” Their voices were lost in a mixture of laughter and yelling. Hailey and Vanessa were curled up on the floor hugging their stomachs and each other as the laughter became painful.

Suddenly the yelling stopped, and their boss’ voice made it’s way to the two hyenas. “I think it’s time to explain, ladies.” They took deep breaths, their laughter finally coming to an end. They untangled themselves and stood up, but didn’t dare leave the sanctuary of the ladies’ room. “Kim’s been really sad lately. We wanted to cheer her up.”

“And you thought that pranking us was the best way to do it, Hailey?!”

“Yeah, Jay. We all get a kick from joking around now and then, and she’s told Vanessa and I numerous times that sending pics and videos of funny work mishaps brightens her day.”

“We just wanted her to smile again, guys. She constantly looks like she’s about to burst into tears or rip someone’s throat out with her teeth.”

“... Fair enough. I know that this has been hard for everyone, but Kim and I really appreciate your support.” The click of the lock and squeeze of the door had Jay looking into the delighted eyes of his favourite person and... he wasn’t angry. He’d calmed down when they were talking about Kim, but seeing Hailey smile? Really, truly smile? He’d do anything for that. Vanessa stepped out of the way, and into Kevin as Jay wrapped Hailey in his arms, tucking his face into the crook of her neck.

“Kim is my best friend.”

“Hey!”

“Shut it, Adam. Kim is my best friend. Thanks for caring about her.”

“Don’t thank me, it was really, really fun.” And just like that, the intense emotional mood was broken. Causing laughter, from everyone this time, to reign supreme.

“As much as I love this... I’ll call it team bonding and get HR paperwork on hand, we have a desk day today. And we all need to work. So let’s put Atwater and Halstead’s desks back in their rightful places.”

“Okay seriously, where did the two of you put my desk, Hails?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The signature footsteps of Trudy Platt raced up the stairs to the intelligence bullpen, drawing all eyes to her. “Can any of you explain why Kim had to excuse herself to the back room to roll on the floor laughing?”

[formulatrash]

south african anon back again, thanks for the info! didn't mean to sound cynical about cape town, i'm sure many factors went into the decision like you said. but there's a reason we all call it little europe lmao. i'm not super knowledgeable about motorsport in general but i was talking to a friend about this and it sucks that more or less the last period of influence our country had there was basically not our country at all but the old SA, and stuff like this could go a long way to fixing that

No it’s cool it’s a good question, I was genuinely surprised it wasn’t Johannesburg. 

Here’s (some of) the interview I did where he talks about it: 

Iain Banner: My background is in sports and entertainment, I was the sponsorship director for 12 years for Richmond, a luxury goods business that was previously in the tobacco industry. So I oversaw, as sponsorship director of the global activities sponsorship of the Williams team from ’94 to ’99, when we had the devastation of Ayrton Senna crashing and then the elation of Damon Hill winning I 1996 ad through that I got exposed to motor racing at a very high level, fortunately with a team that was doing very well and got to know the key players - Bernie Ecclestone, team managers, etc. and in 1995 Bernie said he was very keen for a race in South Africa and he mandated myself and Johan Rupert to see if we could get support for the race.

We wet to see the minister of sport and he loved the idea but having just come out of apartheid there were so many other priorities there was no way he could direct a very limited budget in any way towards Formula One. 

Bernie asked me again in 2001 to have a look and see but by that time it had become unaffordable for the country, as far as I was concerned. It just couldn’t be done.

There were many people that spoke about Formula One and I always said look, I’ll get the contract and I’ll show you what it costs and that’s just to secure the opportunity and that’s hard currency in a soft currency market.

So I had a bit of prior involvement in motorsport but my last big push in sports was creating, building, co-founding the Laureus World Sports Awards and Laureus Sport for Good Foundation, which we started working on in 1998 and we launched in 2000. We’ve just, in Berlin ten days ago, had our twentieth anniversary of the awards but my real push there was Sport for Good, where we use sport as a tool to bring kids together and to address social issues and community. I’ve raised over €150 million since we started that and over 160 projects around the world, over 5 million children impacted - it was one of the forerunners for sport for development, which has become a very big thing. 

I moved back to South Africa, after starting Laureus in London and became in various businesses and then bought the i3 and started to see the impact of electric cars and I started dabbling a bit more in the world of sport, secured to the rights to the World Triathlon Series and I partnered with an old schoolfriend of mine, Bruce Forsyth - who has a business called World Sport with logistical infrastructure and we worked on events in South Africa and Abu Dhabi and then we started talking about Formula E. 

We’d heard about it, we thought it might be a good idea and so we entered the feasibility stage and that resulted in us paying what we had to pay to do a feasibility study and we started that in July last year.And we’ve moved in relative terms quite quickly, Formula E representatives including the track designer came down in September and we started working on the potential of what this might look like and I’m delighted to say we’ve made great progress with the city, with important meetings happening yesterday and on Tuesday [March 3rd] - I think 2021 is ambitious but it could be realised, potentially. 

Me: I mean, Riyadh came together in three months, I’d think 2020 might be possible?

Iain Banner: If not then 2022.

Me: Why Cape Town, I thought that Johannesburg, as the capital-

IB: It’s not the capital

Me: Oh, is it not?

iB: No, it’s Pretoria.

Me: Right, well, shows what I know - so if not Johannesburg then I thought Durban had the track, which was used for A1GP whereas I’ve never heard of racing in Cape Town?

The beauty of a motor race like a Formula E race is to be visually arresting, so that you create brilliant television pictures because part of the job is to promote the place that you’re racing in. It’s not just about what happens on the day, it’s about what happens afterwards as a consequence of having the race so Cape Town makes aesthetic sense and commercial sense.

Cape Town is probably the most progressive city [in terms of emobility] and they’re discussing banning combustion vehicles or at least, petrol or diesel vehicles from sales by 2030 in favour of electric, hydrogen, etc. That’s just talk, it’s not legislature but they want to be seen as a green city and it’s very much an objective.

The why is - there’s lots of boxes that need to be ticked to justify putting on an event like this. For South Africa, it’s a very expensive exercise - but if you can promote the country, if you can promote alternative energies, if you can really get people to start thinking differently as a consequence of the race then that’s what matters. 

The race will be great - but our objective is to do more than a race, we’ve called our company E-Movement for a reason, we want to have everything electric; business to consumer events, a big exhibition where people can come and see everything electric - car manufacturers, skateboards, bicycles, everything. And have an activation zone potentially on the track or within the track or in the stadium adjacent to the track. 

We’ve got to bring people’s consciousness up about this alternative to traditional fossil fuel transport.

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group I Round 2: #I7 vs #I3

#I7: Older brother plays catch-up with his younger sibling

#I3: Girls get magic from a hamster to have any career they want

Details and poll under the cut!

#I7: Space Brothers (Uchuu Kyoudai)

Summary:

On a fateful summer night in 2006, Mutta Nanba and his younger brother Hibito witness what they believe to be a UFO flying toward the Moon. This impressing and unusual phenomenon leads both siblings vowing to become astronauts, with Hibito aiming for the Moon and Mutta, convinced that the eldest brother has to be one step ahead, for Mars.

Now an adult, life hasn't turned out how Mutta had pictured it: he is diligently working in an automotive company, whereas Hibito is on his way to be the very first Japanese man to step on the Moon. However, after losing his job, Mutta is presented with an unexpected opportunity to catch up to his younger brother when the Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency, commonly known as JAXA, accepts his application to participate in the next astronaut selection. Despite self-doubts about his prospects, Mutta is unwilling to waste this chance of a lifetime, and thus embarks on an ambitious journey to fulfill the promise made 19 years ago.

Propaganda:

Have you ever wanted to see adults pursue their dreams in anime, even those they abandoned along the way? Do you enjoy space or the arduous process to become an astronaut? Do you like characters being so well-rounded while still being positive even if they fail? Well, this series is exactly that, but with a touch more wholesomeness. Ranging from comedic moments to heartfelt revelations, this series feels so grounded in reality while still having that air of positivity around it, it just motivates you to follow any dream you might currently have. It is a long journey, almost 100 episodes, but it uses it well to flesh out not only the main pair, but many of the side characters, each coming from different backgrounds. A very character driven story that sometimes doesn’t shy in mentioning the risks of space exploration, but also presents us with the marvel and importance of it.

Trigger Warnings: Discussion of possible death. It’s not in depth, but there were moments where they did discuss the possibility of death since it has a high risk of happening in space.

#I3: Flowering Heart

Summary:

It’s the first day of the new school year. 5th grader Ari and her best friends, Suha and Min, have started an after-school activity called the Problem Solving Club. However, no one seems to have any problems that need to be solved. Disappointed, Ari ends up discovering an unconscious hamster on the road. Amazingly…the hamster begins to speak. “I must find the magic ring…”

Propaganda:

I first watched this show back when I was in middle school, so it has some nostalgic value for me. Though, looking back on it now, it was a little odd. I think the concept is pretty cool, as they are girls who can magically transform into adults and have the skill set for that particular career (like Barbie, I guess). The reason they started doing this was to help other people, so the show does have a nice message to it. Overall, it’s a pretty standard magical girl type anime, so if you just want something that’s not too overwhelming, I think this would be a good watch.

Trigger Warnings:

Animal Cruelty – one of the antagonists almost gets this girl’s dog killed. It’s nothing graphic, but the dog might’ve died.

Flashing lights – there are magical girl transformations which are very bright

Pedophilia – the 3 girls are all in 5th grade (so around 11), and there is one guy who has a crush on one of the girls (he’s 18) (idk if they end up together as I can’t find a decent translation for the 2nd season)

When reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

If you want to criticize one of the shows above to give the one you’re rooting for an advantage, then do so constructively. I do not tolerate groundless hate or slander on this blog. If I catch you doing such a thing in the notes, be it in the tags or reblogs, I will block you.

Know one of the shows above and not satisfied with how it’s presented in this tournament? Just fill up this form, where you can submit revisions for taglines, propaganda, trigger warnings, and/or video.

[sarcastic-sunshines]

ABIONA AU - Before Abiona Interlude Part 6: Be His Peace

Pairing: T’ Challa x Black!Reader

Warning(s): None

Word Count:  4192

Link to ABIONA by @writingmarvellousimagines

Link to Face claims (2)

Part: (1) (2) (3) (I1) (I2) (4) (I3) (I4) (5) (6) (I5)

Be His Peace

It had been a difficult two weeks for Alix and T’challa. It began when T’challa told her he would not be coming on Wednesday as he normally did. He had to attend a press conference in Vienna after the Avengers incident in Lagos. Alix for some reason had a terrible feeling about T’challa going.

“Just say you will miss me Alixandre” He joked as they laid on their bed on Saturday night before he was supposed to leave early in the morning as he normally did. Alix was nestled warmly in T’challa’s arms as he kissed her head and shoulder. She nervously played with T’challa’s fingers as she smiled at his comment.

“It is not just that babe. Obviously, I will miss you, but I just have this feeling, I don’t know but just promise you will be careful okay. I know you are the Black Panther and all but I just need you in one piece” She said grabbing his hand to kiss it before closing her fingers around his. “I don’t feel comfortable with you leaving so close to the due date. You know we only have a few more weeks until my due date”

“I promise I will be more careful. And I promise that by the next time I come back I will be here for at least three weeks after the baby is here. Do not worry. I will also be using this opportunity to talk to my father about you and the baby moving to Wakanda again.” Alix turned to face T’challa.

“Really? I thought you said it would be better to do it after the baby got here and he could meet them?”

“I did, but I have realized that it is better for us so we can start planning to move after the baby comes. Also, it is time for me as a man to defend my family and I shouldn’t wait because both of you deserve to comfortable. And I cannot wait to show you all my favourite parts of the country” He said as he kissed her cheek.

“Did you happen to take your past flames to these favourite spots as well” T’challa stiffened before speaking.

“Possibly, however that does not matter because that was when I was a different man and Alix you are the only woman in my life. Truly entle, I am here for you and you only and -” Alix giggled as she stopped her nervous lover from his normal word vomit.

“Babe it is okay, I just wanted to see you squirm. I know that wherever we go in Wakanda will be made special by you.”  She said as she kissed his cheek, T’challa released a breath that he did not know that he was holding. “Now if we were going to Brazil I would be a bit worried.” T’challa groaned

“Oh my Bast Alix you will never let that go will you”

“Nope. Goodnight. Have a safe trip okay.” She giggled as T’challa kissed her goodbye and headed to the guest room for the night. Even as she laid to sleep, Alix rubbed her belly but the feeling of imminent trouble didn’t leave her. And it continued through the night and grew as T’challa came to kiss her and the baby goodbye. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T’challa sat across from his father as he prepared for his speech. He stared out the window and admired the Vienna skyline. His mind thought of Alix as she walked the streets of Vienna to and from work. Most likely finding a little café where she would often lounge. She loved her time here and hoped that he could bring her and the baby back here. He had begun to grow nervous being here, just because of Alix’s reluctance to have him go. She kept reminding him of a funny feeling she was having. At this point, he was afraid that something might be wrong with the baby and it was not just her instinct. He turned to face his father. 

“ I think you should cut that line out. It sounds a bit redundant” His father looked up from his speech.

“ Thank you uyana wam, I wasn’t sure about that line”

“ What does this mean for Wakanda, signing the accords. Are we not allowing foreign jurisdiction over our sovereignty?”

“ Many theorists have written about the social contract. It is said that for societies and individuals to have peace they most offer some of their freedom in return. That is what Wakanda is doing, we can sit by while our own die in other lands.” T’challa nodded. “It might be time for Wakanda to begin to show itself more in international affairs. I know we as a culture have been against it, but it may be time to help those who need it the most. If we do it smartly, we may be able to succeed without compromising Wakanda’s safety.” T’challa continued to nod surprised at the new position his father had begun to take. What surprised him more is his father’s next question.

“How is Alix, and the baby? She is due soon no?” His father had never asked about Alix nor her pregnancy. He rarely commented on his weekly trips. T’challa had thought his father saw it best for their relationship if it was never discussed.

“She is good and baby is good. We have about three weeks until the baby is supposed to be here” 

“That is good to hear. One's first child is an indescribable journey. The love I felt after meeting you the first time can only be battled by the love I felt when I met Shuri” The pair shared a smile

“Your mother tells me you are getting along better with Alix, have you gotten what you sought out for all those months ago?”

“I think so, Alix and I are happy. Of course, we are moving at the pace she feels comfortable, but we are moving and that is what matters now. I am just happy to know the baby is going to be coming home to a house with two loving parents. Baba, I want to bring up the discussion of the two of them moving to Wakanda. I know you had previously said no but I need to be able to have my family with me, Baba. It isn’t fair for me to have to go back and forth” T’challa began to ramble as he normally did before his father stopped him.

“I hear you uyana wam, and I have begun to agree with you” T’challa looked at his father with surprise and happiness “I have seen you handle your duties so well while still making time for Alix. I am proud of you for that, but you are right it shouldn’t be as strenuous as it has been” Both men turned to face Ayo who let them know it was time to go “We will talk more when the Accords are finished with. You must know, I am excited to meet my grandchild” He said as he got up and patted T’challa’s cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He had reassured Alix that he would take care of himself and be back in one piece. So she held onto that reassurance while he was gone. Not until Wednesday rolled around and she got an alert from a colleague at work about the explosion in Vienna. Alix felt the world around her freeze. She immediately began to pick up her things to go to Vienna. Luckily Jules was there to calm her down.

“Woah Alix, you have to sit down, this stress isn’t good for the baby. T’challa will not appreciate missing his child’s birth because you are freaking out. T is fine, I promise, he is probably going to call as soon as the dust settles.” Jules held his sister as he tried to help her stay calm. The siblings moved to her bed and laid facing the ceiling as Jules made her laugh to distract her from her never ending fears. Just like when they were kids and the other needed comfort. When the phone finally rang and T’challa’s voice came through, Alix felt like she was allowed to breathe again.

“I am so happy you are okay.”

“I am fine, please do not stress yourself. I cannot be worried about the two of you while I am gone.”

“Gone? Gone where? You aren’t coming back here?”

“Alix” T’challa took an extended pause trying to control his emotions. “Alix, my father, he died in the explosion. I must return home and proceed with the burial traditions, as well as challenge day. I will be becoming the King of Wakanda. I must go back and do this as quickly as possible so I can be there for you and the baby” Alix was stunned. In her fear of what has happened to T’challa, she had refused to check the news. She was heartbroken, she truly admired T’chaka as a leader and a man despite what had happened. But, truly she was heartbroken for T’challa whose relationship with his father was so strong despite their issues.

“I am so sorry T’challa, how are you taking it? I am here if you need me” T’challa took another pause

“I am fine entle I am as good as I can be. Please just take care of you and the baby okay. Tell them I will be there as soon as I can. And thank Jules for me. I am so grateful for him being there. I love you entle and I will be there as soon as I can.” And with that he was gone again,  for the two weeks he was gone contact was rare. 

It had been foreign to her, T’challa had gone from calling her twice a day when he was usually in Wakanda to a less than 5 minute call each day. The day of the challenge she was nervous but knew that he would win. Luckily Jules had moved into T’challa’s study so  Alix would not be alone, in addition to her mother coming every day to help her. But none of that compared to the comfort that T’challa had made her accustomed to. She continued to send him pictures of her and the baby as a way of saying that she was doing okay. And despite the strain that the distance created T’challa always responded with praises making Alix smile. She was happy to finally hear the joy in his words after challenge day. And that joy continued the next day when he started his rule as King. She was disappointed to hear that he was meant to go to South Korea for his first mission. But again she held on to his reassurance and prayed for a safe return. She again got a call from him about a cousin who he did not know existed and have to do go through with the challenge again. Alix was afraid, the similar indescribable feeling returned. That day she and Jules laid on her bed and he tried to calm his sister’s nerves. But when a call never came, nothing seemed to calm Alix’s nerves. When she didn’t hear anything she grew scared. T’challa had said he would call as soon as everything was done with, and if he didn’t Ayo would come and talk to her in person. As she sat in the nursery stressed out of her mind, Alix still hung on to T’challa’s reassurance. Though he had not called yet, Ayo still hadn’t come so she tightly held on to his promise to come back to her and the baby safely. That night she tossed and turned with no chances of falling asleep. She felt her baby kicking and began to rub her stomach.

“Hey there, you can’t sleep either? Not that you ever really sleep at night. Things have been a bit restless since your Baba left. I know, but he promised he would come back to us. “ Alix began to silently cry in the dark “He has to because I can’t do this without him and I don’t want to. Who is going to sing you that lullaby when you are fussy? He promised he would do that and I am holding him to it. And he still needs to help me pick a name for you. I am not choosing without him so he needs to hurry and come back. He is so excited to meet you, you can probably tell by all the kissing, singing and talking he does with you. He is so excited to be your Baba, he makes me excited even on the days when you test me. I need him to come back because you deserve to meet the amazing man your Baba is and I still have so much to tell him and I don’t want to know that my fear stopped me from saying how I truly feel about him”.

 Suddenly the kimoyo beads T’challa left started flashing. Alix struggled to sit up and reach for them as quickly as her bump would allow. She tapped them just as T’challa had taught her.  She looked up to see T’challa’s tired but alive hologram. 

“Thank God!” and she began to shed tears of joy, “I thought I lost you. You don’t know how happy I am to see you”

“Trust me entle I am thousand times more happy to see you. Please stop crying it is not good for the baby” Alix wiped at her eyes.

“Are you okay T’challa? What happened?” T’challa slowly explained to her what had happened, his words were delicate with his near death experience and his eventual revival. He knew it was a lot of information for the expectant mother, but Alix took it all in strides. She was more happy to know he was fine and wanted him back as soon as possible. But he assured her that he was okay and that he would be back tomorrow.

“I promised I would be back didn’t I. I know it is has been a whirlwind but I back do not worry.”

And that morning as she was about to start her day, T’challa walked through the door. She held onto him for a whole minute, taking in his smell and the comfort that being in his arms gave her. When she finally looked up she saw the sadness in his eyes. He leaned down to kiss her and slowly led her to the bed where they held on to each other as a way of making up for the lost time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T’challa woke up the next morning feeling nothing like himself. He felt as though he was dragging his body to do simple tasks. It had been a difficult two weeks for him. He thought he could come back and continue his happiness in Paris. But after the dust had settled and he actually had the time to think, his grief replaced his stress in no time. He didn’t get the opportunity to mourn his father, and now it seemed as though his brain was going to take the time. To reflect on what could have been, to think about all the unfinished discussions and lessons he would never get. When he was in Wakanda he had spent every free moment looking at pictures and videos Alix sent of herself to him. He couldn’t wait to get back to her. But now that he was here, he only wanted to be alone. He was overcome with emotions he didn’t want her to see. He wanted to remain strong for her and the baby, He was afraid that the stress of the two weeks would cause her to go into labour or have complications. He thanked Bast for watching over them when he couldn’t. He hoped Bast was still there because he couldn’t find it in him to perform simple tasks. He wasn’t hungry, he would lay in his bed for hours but couldn’t sleep. He would sit in his office but couldn’t find the strength to get anything done. He tried his best to smile for Alix when he was around her, but he knew she was starting to notice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 There was something different about T’challa. He was quieter and less of the jovial person she was used to. She would catch him sitting in his study staring off into space or laying in the bed but not sleeping. He looked exhausted.

“T’challa” The  King jumped at the sound of her voice

“Are you okay?” She asked as he invited her into his lap and kissed her bump.

“Yes, I am fine. Have you had lunch yet?” he smiled but his eyes looked empty.

“Have you had anything to eat at all today? I have barely seen you get up from this chair. Come eat with me” She slowly got up and held his hand to follow. He pulled his hand from her grip and spoke 

“Actually entle I am not too hungry but you go ahead and make sure you and the baby are fed okay.”

She stared at him with skepticism but he kissed her hand and told her he will be there for dinner. Dinner came and T’challa picked at his meal. She watched as he mindlessly went to bed with the sadness written all over his eyes. T’challa continued to wallow in the sadness the next day. She again encouraged him to eat with no avail. By dinner time, Alix was more than ready to get her charming lover back to himself. Unlike T’challa, Alix was not gifted with the magic of stringing words together to create poetry. So she decided to comfort him the best way she knew how. 

She started by going to the store and the bakery down the road. She began to make dinner as Jules walked in.

“Hey sis, I thought T’challa was home why are you pretending to be in the kitchen”

“Well look who it is France’s top comedian. I can cook and pretty well thank you very much. We also had the same teacher so I don’t know why you think you are better than me. T’challa loves my cooking”

“T is also trying to get in your pants so he will say and do anything if it increases his chances” Alix through a dishtowel at Jules who was laughing at his own comment.

 “ What are you making and where is T?”

“Pilau and Lamb, just like we used to have in Kampala. He made it for me a while back. He needs to get some food in his system so I made a meal I know he will appreciate. And I even got his favourite cheesecake from the bakery down the road.”

“What is this? Alix showing affection for the man who has been begging for her attention for months. I need to take a picture for Maman as proof” Alix glared at her brother but turned her head to hide her growing smile.

“He has just been sad since he came back. He went through so much and although he refuses to talk about it I aim to provide at least some comfort just as I know he would for me.”

“Okay well, I am going to leave you to pretend to play house. Save me a plate. I will stop by tomorrow to pick it up.” He said as he kissed his sister goodbye and left. When Alix was done, she was tired but proud of her work. She waddled to T’challa’s study and found him staring off into the distance again.

“Hey babe” He slowly turned to her “Come here I want to show you something” T’challa slowly rose and followed her to the dining area. The smell of the rice hit him and the first time in days he felt hungry. 

“Did you cook? Why didn’t you call me to help?” He became frantic and afraid Alix was overworking herself.

“Don’t worry I am fine and I need to move around anyways. Can you please just eat,” she said as she led him to sit down and served him a plate. She kissed his cheek and sat next to him making sure he finished his plate. T’challa for the first time in a few days began to feel happiness. He was grateful that Alix had thought of him enough to make a meal that meant so much to them and their relationship. He kissed her hand in appreciation.

 T’challa did not struggle to eat today and even went for a little more. 

“ Thank you. This is really good Alix. I mean not as good as when I made it but a close second” she smiled, happy to have him joking with her again. The cheesecake truly lifted T’challa’s spirit. He didn’t realize how much a good meal could help lift his mood.

“Cheesecake is truly one of Bast’s greatest creations”

“Bast didn’t do that. The bakery down the road did”

“I truly believe she was present during the baking process. You cannot change my mind” Alix giggled at his silliness.

 When they were done and had cleared the table, Alix put on Real Housewives of Atlanta, which was T’challa’s favourite installation of the series.

“Hey, come watch with me please.” she patted her lap. As he slowly sat down she again patted her lap for him to lay his head. T’challa lowered himself on to her and allowed Alix to pamper him. She rubbed his ear and his curls just as he liked. She allowed him to make all the commentary he wanted without any ridicule. Alix’s love engulfed him into a serene state. He thanked Bast for bringing a woman into his life who knew when he needed his love the most, even when he could not say it himself. As he laid on her lap, he was sure he had begun to feel his body become light again. 

“Though I have seen this episode, I am still unsure as to why Porsha came on the girls' trip knowing that Kandi was going to call her out for her rumours. Could that make any less sense? I do not know why I watch this. ” Alix smiled as he rambled on. During a commercial break, he grew silent. He finally spoke but it was slower and seemed more reserved than T’challa normally was.

“Being back here is the first time it is truly hitting me that he is gone. Though  I met with him in the planes, the fact I know he won’t ever back have really rocked me these past few days.” Alix wiped away the few tears T’challa had let fall. “He will never be able to meet our baby, and it so funny because when I brought up the two you coming home with me he was willing to talk about it. He said we would go further into detail after the conference. He even said he was excited to meet his first grandchild. Now that will never happen and it truly breaks my heart knowing that.” T’challa began to cry a bit harder. “I thought if I came here and was strong for you and the baby I would be able to forget, but the sadness has taken over my body” Alix wiped at his eyes again

 “T’challa you do not always have to be tough for me or the baby. You don't have to hold it in. Let me be the strong one for you sometimes. Let me be the shoulder you cry on. And know this, your father may not have gotten the opportunity to fully amend this issue, but I know for a fact he is proud of the man and King you have become. And you are going to be an amazing Baba. His memory lives in you, so make sure you do great things with it.” 

T’challa got off her lap to give Alix a kiss before lowering himself back on her lap.  “Thank you entle I truly feel a sense of relief in your arms. “

“Don’t thank me for doing my job.”

“Who knew that the hungriest and crankiest pregnant woman could be this kind” Alix laughed out loud almost as though she was thanking God for the small sense of normalcy that had returned.

“There is my baby daddy. Always taking my good gestures for granted” They both laughed as T’challa snuck a kiss to her hand. They went back to watching the show with T’challa’s added commentary that made Alix giggle. 

 Even in his stage of sadness, Alix’ s proximity to T’challa still made her feel at home in her own apartment.  Alix’s comfort had allowed T’challa to open and release a sea of emotion he did not realize he was holding. In her arms, the world stood still and waited for him. He had never felt a sense of peace as he did with Alix. He thanked Bast for providing him with a woman like Alix. More importantly, he thanked Bast for providing him with more time to enjoy the mother of his child and making her his inner peace. 

______________________________________________________________

Taglist:

@writingmarvellousimagines @chaneajoyyy @oceanscorazon @teechallas-blog @ashanti-notthesinger @wakanda-inspired @90sinspiredgirl @lovely-geek @fd-writes @chefjessypooh @imagine-mbaku @dopegalkk @liyahshaeking

[sweeetmonstrosity]

music haunts his bedroom

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Mentions of PTSD, Mourning, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: In which Tony is gone, Bucky survives the snap and now he must learn how to live without his heart.

Word Count: 4305

Link: AO3

Square(s) filled: @marvelfluffbingo : I3 - Sleeping under the Stars; @buckybarnesbingo : Y4 – PTSD; @star-spangled-bingo : I3 - Huddling for Warmth

A/N: This wouldn't be here without the amazing thattardiskey who Beta'd it and put up with all my questions. 💕 --Sections of Italics are memories.

It’s been five days since the snap.

Five days since Bucky has put on the metal arm that signifies a fight is about to happen. Five days since he’s heard Sam’s smart-ass comments about him being old. Five days that Shuri hasn’t helped him understand that he’s completely healed from what HYDRA did to his head. Five days since his little angel has gotten to feel her papa tuck her in and kiss her goodnight.   

Five days since he’s seen the love of his life, Anthony Edward Stark.

It wasn’t until two days after being taken back to Stark Tower with his angel when Pepper and Rhodey had pulled him aside and told him the words that made his heart drop into his stomach.

Pepper grabbed his hand and squeezed tightly. “James, no one has heard from Tony since before the snap happened. We don- we don’t know what happened to him.” Pepper’s voice cracked when she broke the news. Rhodey gripped his shoulder and continued where Pepper left of off, but Bucky didn’t hear a thing. Everything sounded far away and staticky, he felt his world begin to collapse, but he had to hold some part of it together for his angel.

These past five days had been terrible with the not knowing whether Tony was snapped away like half the world was, dead somewhere on another planet or stuck up in space with no way to contact anyone. Bucky had to believe his love was alive, or it would take the little bit of soul he had left.

“Daddy, I want papa and horsie, pease!” Bucky’s angel cheerfully asked as she skipped into the bedroom. Pulling his angel into his lap, he began telling her the fabricated story of how her fathers had met.

Living in memories was one of the ways Bucky was coping – and now that it was less than two weeks away from their anniversary of officially getting together, Bucky had begun reliving their first times.

~~~~~~~

The first time Tony ever went to Wakanda to “have a talk” with Bucky, was on the thirteenth of February. It was the first time they would see the other since the fight in Siberia where Bucky had just lost his arm for the second time and was still processing the feelings that came with losing an arm and Tony was almost killed by the hands of a friend that held the shield Tony’s own father created. So, when Tony showed up at his little farm, it wasn’t a friendly visit. But walking into Bucky’s little hut to see him sitting execution style in the middle of the room, it hurt Tony’s heart. It was like Bucky was expecting nothing less than him dying on that day. Seeing Bucky down on his knees, mumbling to himself that he deserved it, that he didn’t blame Tony for needing to do this and that he was forgiven, shocked him to his core.

Tony tried to hold on to his anger the best he could, tried to keep the images of this man – no, of this  thing  – killing his parents, murdering his mother just because she was in the car. But the second he placed his hand on Bucky’s shoulder, to have  this thing  face him when Tony gets his revenge, he felt Bucky’s entire body go slack.

That was the straw that broke Tony’s back.

If this man  was  a cold-blooded murder like Tony has been picturing in his head for months, then wouldn’t he be at least putting up a fight to explain himself?  That’s  what was fucking with his head so much. This guy, who killed his parents and probably hundreds of other innocents over the past 70 years, was just giving in to his death without trying to explain away like Rogers did for him.

So, running off gut instinct, Tony squeezed Bucky’s shoulder and sits next to him while demanding an explanation. Which is precisely what Bucky does and they spend the entirety of the night talking about both of their lives and all the bad shit they’ve gone through along with all the good things in their lives.

Early the next morning, Tony gave Bucky an untraceable phone and promised to call him the second he could once he returned to Stark Industries – and he did. From that point on it became a very beloved habit to both men.

~~~~~~~

It was hard that first night after he had dreamt Tony had showed up in Wakanda. He felt like he didn’t have anyone to lean on since it was just always the two of them after Tony came to Wakanda the first time. He knew he had said goodbye to friends and family before, but with the conditioning HYDRA had put him through, mourning had become like a distant memory — he didn’t remember the true meaning of loss.  He  was always the one that died,it was never his problem and now he realizes he never wants to be in this position ever again.

Now that Bucky didn’t have his rock next to him, how was he supposed to mourn his new friends? How in the hell was he supposed to mourn the love of his life?

He didn’t have Shuri or Sam anymore, Steve had become a shell of his former self. He was alone on his side of the fence. After the fight in Siberia, he knew Tony had Rhodey and Pepper to always lean on and now we they had each other to hold on to through these times of not knowing. There was no way he could possibly go to them to help him get through this because they probably wanted Bucky dead since he was the reason Tony almost died in Siberia.

During the nightly dinners that were still set up, courtesy of Tony, Bucky tried to make amends with his love’s two best friends. He tried to apologize for what happened in Siberia, for killing Tony’s parents, for all of the things he’s done to hurt Tony — knowingly or unknowingly — but they never fully forgave him. That didn’t mean Bucky wouldn’t sit near them at the dinner table to feel the pieces of Tony they had in them, or that he would occasionally brush against them when walking down the hallway to get that same shock power his love used to give off. But he knew it wasn’t enough to fill even the smallest corner of his heart.

With all this running through his mind, Bucky knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.

“You’re not sleepy anymore, daddy? Did you have a bad dream?” He heard his angel’s soft voice melt from the darkness. “That’s okay, we can go look at the pretty night lights like we did with papa after I had bad dreams.”

So, with his angel by his side, he decided to go outside and look at the night sky – something he and Tony would do in Wakanda every time he came to visit and he had nightmares from his winter soldier days.

~~~~~~~

Every time Tony showed up, they spent the day together inside, wrapped up in each other’s arms. But near the end of the night he would drag Bucky outside to stare up at the clear Wakandan skies. Just holding each other, and little mentions of the future together while looking at the night sky would help center them both. Tony wanted Bucky to enjoy the small things like how visible the stars were or how relaxing the quiet could be — even if there was something bad waiting around the corner. He knew Bucky needed to feel safe no matter where they went, and he wanted the night sky to be one of those safe places.

Some nights, Tony would anticipate Bucky having a nightmare or a hard time dealing with his PTSD and would set up a small area to lay with his soldier under the stars, watching the world slowly turn. Some days days were easy to recover from and others took longer to get through to Bucky and let him know he was safe – especially when Tony had a busy day as Iron Man or dealing with SI problems.

Tony would allow him to lay his head in his lap to allow Bucky to feel both his two safest places at the same time — of being in Tony’s arms and safe underneath the night sky and bright starts. Bucky would feel his body relax as Tony ran his fingers along Bucky’s flesh arm to help ease the tense muscles. Fingers running through his hair, love around him and the stars watching over them both would let Bucky relax fully. He would relax completely, knowing there wasn’t a dangerous fight coming, or that there is someone hunting either one of them down to kill or hold captive.

There were many nights that Bucky and Tony were allowed a break from their past traumas and their future problems to be able to sleep under the stars that kept them safe.

With knowing there isn’t something bad waiting for him or his Love, it will always be hard to actually believe it. So the times in which their safe bubble was first created, it was a very much need peace of mind .

~~~~~~~

It’s been two years since the snap. Two years since Bucky has felt Tony wrap him up in his arms. Two years since he’s felt his love’s lips connect with his own. Two years since he’s seen the sparkle in his angel’s eyes. Two years since he’s felt the warmth and light Tony brought to his soul.

On the good days, Bucky stood outside for hours talking to his love. He would tell Tony how he’s not doing so well without him, how much their angel misses her papa, how quiet it’s been without his voice always in his ear. How cold it was without his love wrapped around him like he always was, or how lonely he felt.

On the bad days, Bucky would go outside in the pouring down rain, he’d even go stand outside in the middle of a snow blizzard. Those were the days Bucky would yell, scream as loud as possible and beg for someone – beg for anyone who was listening — to let him trade places with Tony. He would beg for hours because he is the one who has done the terrible things that deserve the possibility of isolation or death.  He was the one who has murdered for years and got away with it, he’s the one who has killed innocent people without thinking twice and he’s the one who deserves to suffer.

“Daddy! Stop! Please! I’m begging you, please!” His angel was crying out in glee as Bucky continued to tickle her.

But once his mind had registered what his angel was crying out — whether it was with glee or not — it began to remind him of the day when he knew Tony deserved to know his demons and everything he remembered during his time as the Winter Soldier.

~~~~~~~

It was about six months into their relationship when Bucky started becoming a little distant with Tony.

He wouldn’t answer his phone calls right away and when he finally did answer, he kept his answers short and simple. When Tony came to Wakanda, Bucky would flinch when he was touched and hoped Tony never noticed – but of course his love picked up on it.

He knew Tony would figure it out, he just hoped it would be later rather than sooner.

His love had cornered him inside his little hut. There was space where Bucky could run, but he knew this conversation was bound to happen and decided it was going to be harder to do later. Bucky tried to stay strong, tried so hard to keep his demons to himself because he didn’t want his love to be disgusted with him. He needed to keep all things he remembered about his time with HYDRA to himself, no one needed to know the horrors he was a part of.

Bucky didn’t want taint his stars or his love with his darkness, so he tried his best to stay away from them so they could continue to bloom in the sun.

But of course, he would fall in love with a man just as stubborn as him and he wouldn’t give up until Bucky explained what had him pulling back. He had never seen his love pleading like this. He could hear the cracks in his voice when he asked if it was him, if he caused Bucky to pull back, if he finally realized he was better off without a Stark chaining him to the ground. And that is what broke Bucky.

Bucky fell into his love’s arms and cried his heart out. He tried his best to explain how his nightmares have returned and so have some of the memories. How when he wakes up after nightmares it's almost like he could still feel the evil in him, swirling around, trying to find some part of him to latch on to again. How his worst nightmare and his biggest fear is that evil taking root inside his soul again but instead of going after innocents or anyone of importance to the world, the Winter Soldier would go after Tony, Sam, Steve and the rest of the team, and he wouldn’t stop until he had ended the entirety of the Avengers.

His love held him and whispered that Winter was gone. He wasn’t ever coming back because Shuri had helped take that evil out. Tony stayed with him for an entire week and helped piece his soldier back together, to show Bucky that nothing he ever said could make him run. The only place he would be running is straight into his soldier’s arms or right past him to protect him from any harm. That week, although it started out terribly, ended in a way neither of them expected.

That was when their first “I love you” was said to each other.

~~~~~~~

It was two years and seven months, that every night Bucky goes into Tony’s bedroom and breaks apart. Two years and seven months that both Rhodey and Pepper piece him back together to the best of their ability until Tony comes back home – if  Tony comes home. When they aren’t in the room with Bucky, FRIDAY keeps them updated on how bad it is the nights Bucky goes silent. Those silent nights are the ones where Pepper and Rhodey must ground him by reminding him he’s got an angel that is counting on him. An angel that needs him whole.

The silent nights are when he mourns his love. Those nights come after days that he could see the sadness in his angel, of not having her papa around. Yelling at the sky that Tony deserves to be here with his family while Bucky is the one who deserves to be stranded on a planet or snapped into dust. He deserved all the bad things that would rip out someone’s soul. His love deserved nothing but the best.

The loud nights are when he fights to believe his love is still out there. But no matter the type of night Bucky is having, no matter what he says to himself in the privacy of his own room or anywhere in the tower – Tony hears it all.

**

Over two years’ worth of recordings FRIDAY has been sending to Tony’s suit to let him see how his loved ones are doing — rather than keeping them in a secured file like Ms. Potts asked because Rhodey believes if Tony is alive somewhere, he’d work harder knowing his partner and little girl needed him.

Tony hears absolutely everything. He hears when Bucky is begging someone to let him take Tony’s place, he hears all the memories Bucky relives on the good and the bad days. He hears how broken his soldier is, Tony can feel the pieces of his Bucky breaking every single day he’s not there. He can hear how Pepper and Rhodey try to take care of his soldier for him and how they cling to each other to stay afloat because Bucky needs them more than over.

Over two years of not being able to give Bucky responses because he’s been breaking apart his suit to find a way to help get him home. Two years of witnessing his soldier’s heart in a constant state of heartbreak. Over two years of agony of not having a way to tell Bucky what happened. To let anyone know and to let his soldier know that he’s okay, he’s as safe as he can be and he’s doing all he can.

He needed someone to scream it from the rooftops for him. Bucky needs to know that Tony’s coming home to his soldier.

**

It’s been over two years that Bucky has held on to this ring. The ring that he had gotten to propose to his love. Two years that Bucky has been rewriting his vows to Tony. He’s done it over a hundred times and after every version he reads them out to the sky to see how Tony feels about it. Waiting for a sign to say, “it’s perfect soldier”, but that never happens. The sign never comes so Bucky just keeps rewriting until the vows are perfect – are worthy enough – to be heard by Tony Stark.

“That sounds perfect, daddy! Papa will love it, I know he will!” His little angel happily chirped out as Bucky finishes his one hundred and seventy-third reading.

Bucky doesn’t say anything as he pulls his little angel into his arms, he just shakes his head because he doesn’t feel like he would be or have anything worthy enough for his love, but Bucky would absolutely die trying to prove himself.

~~~~~~~

It was finally the day.

The day in which James Buchanan Barnes was going to ask the love of his life, Anthony Edward Stark to marry him.

Everything was planned out with the help of Shuri, there was a table set up in the Royal Palace for dinner, but before that, Shuri had helped orchestrate a path that feature the best views Wakanda has to offer. That’s all Bucky needed, he didn’t need to do anything fancy or go all out with proposing, since the beginning it was always just him and Tony. There wasn’t any need to bring all these strangers in for their intimate moment.

Tony always came around the same time, he never came later than an hour past the usual time of 11 in the morning.

So when it was a little after one in the afternoon he started to get nervous that his love hadn’t arrived yet. But Bucky was always nervous that Tony would wake up and realize he deserved so much better than a brain-washed former assassin who was ordered to kill his parents. And Bucky truly believed Tony deserved better than him. But he knew, he  knew  Tony wouldn’t just abandon him, that didn’t help curb the feeling that he wasn’t ever going to see his love again.

It was five hours past the time Tony usually showed up and Bucky was on the edge of full-blown panicking, but that’s when the jet finally came through the barrier. Bucky walked towards where it was landing, and he could feel his heartbeat pick up tremendously. But the second he saw his best friend step out, he knew his fear of never seeing his love again was turning into reality.

The fight to save the universe. The biggest fight to date, the only fight the team willingly let Bucky fight beside them. The fight he knew would end in heartbreak.

And he was right.

~~~~~~~

It was coming up on five years without his love, and the days never got easier to get through. Nothing ever changed, he still talked to Tony every night, still told his angel stories of her papa Tee, still cried some nights in Tony’s bedroom. Most importantly, he never gave up hope that someday Tony would come back from wherever he was - the snap or otherwise.

The nine year anniversary of the day they got together, and the sixth birthday of his little angel was coming up tomorrow and there were a lot of feelings going through Bucky that he couldn’t explain.

Once it hit midnight and became the thirteenth of February, Bucky walked outside to talk to his love. He had his three-hundredth rewrite of his wedding vows for Tony and had decided months --  no, years ago  -- that this would be the night he married the love of his life, whether Tony was back or not. His angel was right by his side because they were going to sleep under the stars tonight to be closer to their missing piece. She was squeezing Bucky’s hand as tightly as she could, trying her best to give her daddy all the strength she could and she stood the tallest she could just like papa always told her too.

They walked over to the blankets laid out to sleep on and Bucky had to gaze up at his stars to center himself before he began reading his vows to his husband-to-be.

As he was reading, he could feel his face becoming wet and his angel had began hiccoughing out sobs the more Bucky read to the stars. He could hear his angel whisper out her agreements to his vows, hoping that would help bring her papa home. It was almost two hours later when Bucky’s vows were finally coming to a close, he was trying to pull himself back together as he stood back up to grab the lantern that held the first version of Tony’s ring.

As he started to light it up, his angel spoke out with her raspy voice, “daddy, can I hold it before you let it go, so papa has a piece of me too?” Bucky’s heart broke a little more at the expression on his angel’s face and he handed it to her before looking back up to the night sky.

Focusing on how the stars looked brighter tonight, Bucky wasn’t sure if he heard his angel gasp or if it was his mind playing tricks on him, so he brushed it off for the time being. He felt her grab his hand and glanced down at his angel who had a twinkle in her eyes again, for the first time since Tony disappeared.

“Let’s finish this, daddy, together.” She smiled so sweetly as she waited for him to say his final words of the night.

“With this ring, Anthony Edward Stark, I am yours like you’ll forever be mine. My heart belongs to you, my soul is yours to keep, my stars are yours to gaze at, and my angel is your guidance. You were and always will be the first person I run too, you will always be the one look to when I need advice to raise our girl, you will forever be the one who I count on. You are worthy of the family you have with us, with Rhodey and Pepper and the team. You deserve every good thing that has ever happened to you. You are perfect, my love, and now, you are my husband as I am yours.”

Bucky lets go of the lantern and waits for it to rise to the stars, but when it doesn’t he turns to where his angel was and finds her missing too. It makes a surge of panic go through him as he spins around to find no one in the backyard with him.

He begins walking back to where their blankets still lay and when he glances up to the empty field and he drops to his knees. Hands clutched to his chest, breathing erratic, tears streaming down his face -- he’s breaking down and becoming a complete mess.

Because in the middle of that empty field, is now husband, Anthony Edward Stark, with the biggest grin on his face.

“That was perfect, soldier. Perfect just like you are, baby.” Tony whispers out once he has placed himself right in front of his sweetheart. Bucky is still speechless, tears are still streaming down his face, but he is now clinging onto any part of his love he can get his hands on mumbling things at one hundred miles per hour.

Helping Bucky stand up, Tony guides him to sit back on the pile of blankets right next to the tree where their little girl is practically vibrating as she waits for them. The second she sees Tony she curls around his back and whispers, “here is your ring papa, daddy was gonna send it to you but I saw you come back.”

Tony kisses her forehead and wraps his arms around both her and Bucky whispering in their ears that he’s sorry he’s been gone so long, he’s sorry couldn’t get home sooner, and he’s so sorry that he broke the hearts of his babies. For hours, they sit there, wrapped up together, healing the broken cracks they have all sustained over the five years they were apart. They stay like that all night long, it’s only about six in the morning as the sky is just starting to lighten up and their stars are disappearing, that they finally drift off to sleep, their girl having knocked out shortly after the cuddlefest.

The last words said on that early morning as they slipped into the best sleep either of them has had in over five years, was the first “I love you” said as fiancé's.