ibelieveinturtles

[ibelieveinturtles]

Following up a career and era-defining fantasy franchise leading role with a steadfast commitment to playing weird little freaks.

[ibelieveinturtles]

[ibelieveinturtles]

‘I want to watch a show where characters just happen to be queer and their queerness isn’t the focus of the story.’ -you should watch the wheel of time

‘I wish there was more media that normalized polyamory’ -you should watch the wheel of time

‘I wish there were more focus on women and characters of color in fantasy and sci fi and genre fiction’ -you should watch the wheel of time

‘I want more shows that put a lot of emphasis on platonic relationships and not just romances’ -you should watch the wheel of time

‘I wish there were more fantasy shows that didn’t objectify sexual violence against women’ -you should watch the wheel of time

‘I wish television would cast more middle aged and older women in dynamic and interesting roles’ -YOU SHOULD WATCH THE WHEEL OF TIME

[ibelieveinturtles]

[ibelieveinturtles]

He can also have the arthritis in my knees

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

[ibelieveinturtles]

Go. See your family. Sing your song.

[ibelieveinturtles]

Should go without saying but never date a cop and christ never marry one. Rule of thumb if he's legally untouchable he's ethically unfuckable. You don't like that cop, you like buff men in tight clothing. I can show you more of those, better ones. Take my hand.

[ibelieveinturtles]

Do you think people who are virgin should write smut? I feel like most of them don’t even know what they’re writing and just write what they think sex is

the implication this ask suggests that people who write about murders, cannibalism, politics, magic, royalty au, sci-fi, wars, supernatural, time travel, medieval era, werewolves, vampires, mermaids or goblins must be murderers, cannibals, presidents, wizards, royalties, astronauts, ghost hunters, soldiers, time travelers, knights, werewolves, vampires, mermaids or goblins in real life is so funny to me

[ibelieveinturtles]

The real reason your sapient dragon character needs a "rider":

Dragons on the wing are vulnerable to being mobbed by smaller, more agile flyers, particularly in your large rear blind spot, like a bird of prey being mobbed by crows. Having a human armed with a long spear perched on your back helps to dissuade anyone from getting any funny ideas.

Breath weapons are impressive enough on the ground, but in flight they're really only good for strafing stationary targets; trying to use your breath weapon in an aerial dogfight is a good way to get fire up your nose. A real fight calls for sterner measures – and, concomitantly, a crew to aim and reload the cannons.

In today's competitive world, it's not enough to devour a flock of sheep and call it a day if you want to keep your edge. You're accompanied at all times by a qualified personal alchemist tasked with carefully regulating your internal furnace to ensure peak performance, and sometimes you even listen to them.

No dragon of any quality would be caught dead without their valet. It's not as though you can announce your numerous long-winded titles yourself when introductions are called for, can you? You suppose next you'll be expected to pick up the spoils of your conquests yourself, like a common brigand. Perish the thought!

[ibelieveinturtles]

If Obi-Wan had actually stayed on Mandalore with Satine after the Civil War and left the Jedi Order, it would've made The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones peak comedy.

Like, Qui-Gon would still be sent to Naboo and end up on Tatooine, he'd still meet Anakin and take him back to the Temple. But, in this AU, he survives the battle on Theed and takes Anakin as his padawan. And the entire Order would be making jokes:

"Congrats on the new padawan! Hope he sticks around longer than the last one!" "We'll keep this one off the bodyguard missions, eh Qui-Gon?"

So one day little Anakin’s like "hey master, what happened to your last padawan?" And Qui-Gon's like "oh he ran off with a girl, yeah he's royalty in the Outer Rim now".

And it's all fine and dandy until Anakin’s nineteen and they get assigned to protect Padmé, and Qui-Gon takes one look at this kid's face and thinks "You've got to be fucking kidding me, this shit again??"

[ibelieveinturtles]

Palpatine: My boy, I'm afraid to report that Master Kenobi is very likely sleeping with your wife.

Anakin, who knows for a fact that Obi-Wan is sleeping with his Commander, a good chunk of Ghost company, the Organas and Quinlan Vos: ...where is he finding the fucking time???

Palpatine, oblivious: Oh I've heard from some very reliable sources that-

Anakin: *pulls out a spexcel spreadsheet, the 3rd System Army's shared spoogle calender and a calculator*

Anakin: Your Excellency. That's just. not logistically possible.

[ibelieveinturtles]

Madeleine Madden as Egwene al'Vere in Wheel of Time (S03E05)

requested by anonymous

[ibelieveinturtles]

the colors of the sunrise

[ibelieveinturtles]

As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can't argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.

[ibelieveinturtles]

wheel of time is one of the most visually stunning shows right now

[ibelieveinturtles]

THE WHEEL OF TIME ↳ Season 3 ↳ Episode Seven

[ibelieveinturtles]

new doctor who tommorow. And I it’s honour- Here’s this Very Important Post