#i think. part of the issue is a lot of peeps already dig a lot into it

[mercurydancer]

Spock for character bingo?

i still didn't get fucking bingo aflkhasdlfhlsadfhdfl

[melo-yello]

📚School Struggles📚 w/ 💥🪨KiriBaku💥🪨 HeadCanons

Pairings: KiriBaku X Black!Reader

Summary: College AU! Reader falls behind in course work, and won’t tell anybody. But Kirishima and Bakugou find out.

A/n: I’m an adult who went most of my life with undiagnosed learning disabilities so this would just be comforting to me. Lil angst! Lots of fluff. Implied ADHD and Dyslexia.

📕🖊 First tests are handed back in four of your eight classes.You’ve failed all but one which you barely passed. You are asked stay back as yet another professor suggests you find a tutor

📕🖊You’re lowkey offended. You’ve never needed a tutor before. Up until recently your performance in other areas compensated for your less than stellar academics. You were in gifted courses all your life. You would just hafta try harder

📕🖊 Kiri and Baku are saving a spot in line for you by the time you meet them at the cafe when you shove the thoughts of failure out of your brain and perk up to your usual self

📕🖊 Kiri’s face lights up as soon as he spots you. “Over here, Babe!” He beams flagging you down. Like it was hard to make out the giant red head in a crowd. Especially with the large lean, continuously pissed blonde scowling at everyone right by his side.

📕🖊 “Hey,Dumbass.” Baku smiles slightly and pulls a hand from his pocket to offer you a hug and a kiss on the temple

📕🖊 Kiri pulls you by your waist into his torso kissing your forehead “What took you so long?” He asks letting you free from the vice grip he had on your curvy hips

📕🖊 “I got a lil turned around again.” You lie pulling Bakugou’s free hand into yours then lean into his shoulder. There’s something very comforting about how warm he is all the time. You wanted to snuggle into his back but PDA really isn’t his thing and you are already pushing it

📕🖊 “It’s a big campus, Teddy, you just have to get used to it. You just transferred. Me and Eiji can take turns walking you from class to class until you get the hang of it, you know?” Baku says trying to read your eyes. He could just feel something is off. Your box braids and the angle itself saves you from any further scrutiny.

📕🖊“You guys, gotta be pretty sprung to do that for me, ya know.” You quip smirking up at him then over to Kiri. “Fuck you too, Teddy Bear.” Baku huffs smirking *maybe he was wrong, unlikely* “Yea basically, Pebs. Liking who you date is super manly.” Kirishima laughs grabbing his tray.

📕🖊 You three finally sit in a small wrap around booth. Bakugou taking the middle spot today. You do your best to not zone out and hyper fixate on your test scores by making sure to laugh at Kiri’s jokes and nod along with Baku’s venting

📕🖊 You slide your fork in and out of your picked over food as you strategize how to fix your current problem without alerting your boyfriends. Before you knew it your table is quiet with two crimson gazes fixed on you

📕🖊 “You’re quiet today, L/n.” Bakugou says fixing you with a deeply fierce gaze which was his way of looking concerned. Sharpness of your actual name drew you from your thoughts in a instant. “Hmmm I think Kats has a point, L/n Y/n.” Kirishima says in between slurps of his smoothie. His red eyes practically dripping with curious concern

📕🖊 You make a quick split decision between the truth and charm. “Wow, my government. I must be in real big trouble.” You pout trying to flirt your way out of a more serious conversation. You poke out your plush bottom at Kiri while slipping a hand onto Baku’s inner thigh and gently squeezing before hitting him with the same seductive pout

📕🖊 Big Mistake!😳 Bakugou’s vermillion eyes widen before becoming instantly stern as he grips your wrist tight enough to hurt. “The fuck are you doing?!! I was being serious, Y/n! And in public?!! You’re fucking priceless!” The ash blonde hisses with angry pink cheeks. Guilt washes over you when you snatch your wrist back. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to...talk about it.” You mumble. “Then use your fucking words!” 😤 Bakugou kisses his teeth and stands so Kiri lets him out. “He’s just a little embarrassed, Pebble. I needa talk him down. You can find your next class right?” He sighs watching Baku storm out

📕🖊 “Yea. I’m sorry. Tell him, Kiri. Please.” You squeak sheepishly grabbing your stuff. “He knows but I will. He’s mad about other stuff.” He nods following after Bakugou

📕🖊 It’s intimidating to compete with their history at times. You couldn’t bring yourself to just dump all your issues on them

📕🖊 You’ve only been dating since summer and Kiri and Baku have been dating since their senior year in high school year. You guys are starting your junior year and are still learning each other.

📕🖊 You get lost a couple times before finding the right building. The noise in your head going nearly at light speed to wrap all the problems you’re having. The professor passes the test you’d spent majority of last night and early morning studying for. You felt confident until it was in your hands.

📕🖊 You chew the pen top trying to finish up the last 7 short answer questions when then alarm for 5 minutes left is given. You panic not even having started the true false section on the last page. You scribble down answers just as time up is announced across the classroom

📕🖊 Defeat washes over while you shuffle out the door. You reach in your pocket to dig out the card for Student Accomidation Services your World Civ professor gave you. Maybe this was something simple as a “processing problem” as she had explained when you visited her during office hours

📕🖊 A throat clearing pulls you from your thoughts. You jump stuffing both hands into your jeans card and all. Bakugou stood unreadable propped up on a wall only a few steps away from you. “Eiji, thinks we need to talk about the cafe. Plus he doesn’t get out of lab til 3:45, so you’re kinda stuck with me.” Bakugou mumbles offering his palm as an olive branch.

📕🖊 “He’s probably right. I don’t mind just you, Tuff Guy. I really am sorry though, Katsuki.” You sigh interlocking your fingers with his. “I know, Teddy. I wasn’t really mad about that anyways.” Baku concedes as you two stroll down the hall. “I didn’t hurt your wrist earlier, did I?” Baku asks softly opening the door and meeting your eyes with gentle concern. “Nah, You didn’t, King Explosion Murder.” You laugh giving his hand a firm squeeze before kissing it

📕🖊 The walk to your dorm is quiet and peaceful. He lets you settle your school bag before speaking again “I just feel like you’re still trying to hide parts of yourself from us, especially me,” He says looking into your eyes now, “Like you’ve been pulling back. Eijirou thinks I’m looking too deep, but I doubt it. I know I can be a little rough and mean sometimes...well a lot of the times. I’m not easy to get along with. But you know you can talk to us when you’re upset or if something bothering you... if I’m bothering you. I don’t like you feeling like you have to pretend to be ok if you’re not.” Baku finishes crossing his arms tightly across your chest.

📕🖊 You dig your nails into your palms mercilessly. You open your mouth to reply and reassure him but the words won’t come. Baku notices what you’re doing to your hands and steps closer to take them into his. He rubs slow circles into the backs of them. Hot tears pool at the corners of your eyes as you try to find your voice. “Kats, I’m...I didn’t me...I...Of course you’re not what’s bothering me.” you croak out just as tears roll down your face and Baku pulls you to his chest.

📕🖊 Your breathing hitches and you just let yourself be disappointed, confused, frustrated, and upset about the last month and a half of struggling and wondering why you couldn’t tell anybody and why no one was even noticing. But He did. Baku had noticed. He rocks gently as you tremble in his arms rubbing firm circles in your lower back.

📕🖊 You two stay like that for what seems forever. Once your breathing evens out Baku’s hold relaxes. He kisses both your temples.You reluctantly let go , so you can pull wrinkled failing test pages from your backpack. “Please don’t laugh at me, Suki.” You peep placing the cause of your meltdown in his hands not attempting to have your puffy eyes met his red ones. Lifting your chin so you’re looking him in the eyes. “Come on, Teddy Bear. I wouldn’t dare.” He nods with the most serious face

📕🖊 Bakugou is quiet for a while as he leafs through the exam papers. “Why didn’t finish any of them?” He asks “Time. I’m a slow reader.” You mutter back. “I’ve seen you doing homework for two of these courses and passing those, what’s happening?” Baku says staring in disbelief at the scores at the top of each exam.

📕🖊 You swallow the lingering fear of judgement. You place a hand at your temple to remind yourself of Baku’s earlier tenderness. “I get anxious. It gets so much harder to read when I’m that worked up, and I can barely focus once I start forgetting answers...I know it’s just a test. I guess...That sounds dumb, doesn’t it?” You sigh shrug off your own explanation.

📕🖊 “Nope. Not dumb at all. Sounds like test anxiety to me. I struggled with that in high school . I didn’t know you were a slow reader, Teddy.” Baku says pulling your hand before you can dig your nails into it. “Yea. One of my professors thinks I have dyslexia and ADHD...but I’m not stupid sooo.” You hum rocking on your heels “That is not what either of those words mean, and I know you know that, L/n.” Bakugou growls he absolutely hates when you or Kirishima talk down on yourselves. “Yea but it feels like it though.” You sigh biting your lips

📕🖊 Before Baku can say a word, Kiri swings the door open. “Babes! Have you two hotties missed me?” The red head shouts coming through the door way smiling until he sees your puffy eyes and tense posture. “Bakugou Katsuki, I know you fucking didn’t?!!” Kiri questions suspiciously leaning down to rest his chin on your shoulder and wrapping a protective hold around your waist.

📕🖊 “The Absolute fuc-” Baku’s defensive rant is cut short as you kiss the hand holding yours to quiet him as you answer Kiri “No Eiji, he didn’t. I’m flunking like half my classes.” You huff meeting his eyes with quivering lips trying your best not to cry all over again

📕🖊 Kiri is stunted into complete silence. The only thing he can think to say is an apology to his boyfriend for jumping to conclusions. Last time he checked your GPA’s a lot more impressive that his. “How the fuck is that even possible? You transferred into the honor courses.” Kiri says completely baffled moving to where he could see your face.

📕🖊 You explain to your boyfriends all the things that have been tripping you up and confusing you. You detail how hard studying has been as far as staying focused and actually understanding lengthy test questions

📕🖊 Kiri has a million questions at first but stops half way through after Baku grabs your overnight bag and leads you out the door. “You’re gonna freak her out all over again, Shitty Hair, if you keep going at her like that.” He could tell you were getting overwhelmed, and might cry again “My bad, Pebs.” Kiri says kissing your cheek as he follows behind

📕🖊 Once you get back to their apartment and Baku askes for your help making dinner. He has you read the directions and ingredients to him. You stumble through most of it, but that doesn’t stop him from praising you as soon as you finish. He has since learned you and Kiri do best when told how well you’re doing vs his typical shouting method

📕🖊 The three of you set an assessment time with the Student Disability Services on campus that doesn’t conflict with the Boys’ schedules, because they insisted that they’d both be there to support their baby and wouldn’t take your bullshit excuses for an actual reason to miss it

📕🖊 Kiri helps you make flash cards for your next test. If he remembers nothing else from Baku’s tutoring sessions the importance of repetition is drilled into him...among other things. Each time you ask him how that went he’ll just shudder. “It was the most intensely terrifying experience of my high school career, and we fought villains pretty regularly.” Kiri deadpans before grinning like the Cheshire Cat and covering his head. “You’re full of fucking shit, Shark Week! I’m the best tutor you assholes could hope for.” Baku yells pushing Kiri’s face into his pages of notes.

📕🖊 The night before your disability assessment you find yourself tossing and turning at like 4:45 in the morning. Kiri repositions pinning you in place so you face Baku’s back. You trace soft shapes into him just before he flips meeting your eyes. “Lil early isn’t it, Babygirl?” He whispers brushing away a few stray box braids covering your face. You don’t bother answering and instead offer him your palm and he takes it without hesitation interlocking your fingers with his. “Nervous?” He hums when he feels the steady trembling of your hand.

📕🖊 “Katsuki, what if there’s nothing wrong with me? What if it’s just me? What if I’m just...” you trail off not sure if you want him to hear how much this subject shakes your confidence. Bakugou moves close enough for your foreheads to touch. “If you’re just not smart? Not even possible. Whatever it is me and Kiri will help you go beyond. I know this is scary, but every first usually is.” Bakugou smiles softly

📕🖊 “Bbbbbuuut maybe I’m just du-” You attempt to argue until a sharp nip on the side of your neck where Kiri was peacefully nuzzled quiets you. “Nope. Not a chance. Pebble, don’t talk shit about my girlfriend again.” He mumbles in a gravelly half sleep voice. He settles again and snakes an arm around hips as he tugs Baku into you with the other. You open mouth your more to defend yourself but KatSuki just bops your nose as he closes his eyes, “You heard, the sexy ass red mountain. You’re fucking smart. Go back to sleep, Kay?”

📕🖊 “Kay.” You sigh digging your face into the crook of Baku’s neck. You lay there out argued but feeling overwhelming loved, so you chose to let them win the debate. The boys hardly agree on most things so they were totally probably right about this one anyways.

📕🖊 You are on a very very short list of people who Bakugou Katsuki repeats himself for. Like boy lets you “huh?” the fuck out of him. He will often cup your face or hold your hands if he needs tell you something important b/c he understands you’re a tactical learner

📕🖊 Best believe that all your future successes in classes big and small will be celebrated you getting taken out for icecream and if it’s a graded paper they’ll put on the fridge like you’re in grade school. You find it a little embarrassing but it really makes you feel like you’re making progress

📕🖊 Kiri brings your favorite snacks for study sessions so he can reward you for right answers and staying on task. You call it “childish” at first until he shrugs “Oh my bad we can try something els-” about to put them away. “Noooooo no those are my favorites.” You nearly jump over the table. Kiri has a shit eating grin the rest of the study session

📕🖊 When giving directions from the passenger seat both Kiri and Baku typically do a good job of remembering you need them to point left and right

📕🖊 If you’ve had long day in tutoring and homework and you guys are watching anime Bakugou will read the subs to you. Sometimes if he’s in a particularly good mood he might even imitate a voice or two

📕🖊 Kiri would politely let you ramble about one of your niche interests and will help you get back to your point when you get lost in a tangent

📕🖊 Don’t let these two hear you call yourself “dumb” or “stupid” Kiri will just act like he can’t comprehend what you’re saying like deadass “Pebs, speak English please. Nope not catching that, Babygirl. Did you say you were a smarticle particle? An intelligent ass motherfucker?! Oh, of course you are!” While Baku is more like “Sorry what was that? I thought I heard a very accomplished and creative thinking ass bitch say something? A incredibly capable ass bitch say something?A smart ass bitch say something?” Your only response is yes and then you get a forehead kiss

[heresathreebee]

Old Stomping Ground

[Ava Starr X Female Reader]

Summary: One of the good things to come out of constant alien invasions are the abandoned ruins of New York, and you’re fixing to show Ava your favorite place. Previous Masterlist Next

Tag(s): 13+ | can be reader gender and race neutral reader but is written with woc readers in mind, no-snap au, post-Ant Man and the Wasp, Ava and reader on an adventure in post Avenger's New York, homelessness, alien trees and the power of community.

AN: no-snap au, post-Ant Man and the Wasp. No beta, we die like men. Just you and Ava having a short adventure.

You took three days off of work for this one. Packed two backpacks with food, water, clothes, and other supplies. Bedrolls and bug spray and hiking poles. Ava laughed at your enthusiasm but she seemed to vibrate with excitement right along with you. 

"Can you at least tell me where we're going," she pleaded. 

You ran through the end of the checklist for the third time, trying to be extra careful now that you wouldn't be hoofing it solo. You dodged the question expertly with a "it's not far and it's not dangerous so hush! Learn to enjoy the mystery, babe." 

Ava rolled her eyes playfully but stopped asking and let you finish. After that you ate a hearty breakfast and began your journey north by northwest. In the taxi, your girlfriend's eyes darted from building to building as you turned on every street and you mentally gave up on scolding her. She was too pragmatic to allow for that level of trust yet. 

You were surprised that it took her until you passed the ruins of the daycare you once attended that she whipped her head around to whisper, "is this… Leviathan alley?" 

You shush her but can't keep the excited grin from your face. "It's a bit more than just an alley." 

Once SHIELD was finished stripping for parts and gutting the cybernetically enhanced alien creature left behind in the Battle of New York, the rest was abandoned. The city's been planning to clean up and rebuild but there are scores in the earth where the leviathan crashed and crumbling, precarious buildings that need to be brought down first in the safest way possible. While the city’s been debating how to deal with the destruction, the poor and destitute had moved in and discovered the blood of the chitauri has some very interesting properties. 

"It's like it changes the property of concrete," you explained, climbing over rubble and reaching back to pull her up, "uhg– breaks it down into some kind of hyper fertilizer. There's this copse of trees growing where we think the stomach was and I think in its natural habitat, the creature was probably an omnivore of sorts and may have swallowed thousands of seeds–" 

"That's all very fascinating dear, could you please take this?" Ava shoves a canteen into your hands and cups your hands to bring it closer to your mouth. You've climbed for what feels like miles and hey, you are pretty parched. "Think we'd better rest and eat, maybe look for a safe place to set up camp and… oh, look over there!" 

Ava's sudden whisper makes you turn. It's green in that direction, though this 'alley' is shrouded in darkness due to the dome made from the spine and ribs of the leviathan, the sprigs seem to grow just fine, becoming taller as they moved farther away from you until they began to develop woody stalks and trunks. 

"That's the forest you were talking about," Ava whispered in awe. “I wanna get a closer look.” 

You gently caught her arm. “Camp first, eat. It’ll still be here tomorrow.” 

~ 

Ava didn’t expect you to take her into an encampment. There were two dozen people in tents, an open grill going and laughter. They seemed to recognize you. It was mostly older adults, a few elderly people wrapped in thick blankets and teens walking around asking anyone needed drinks. You grabbed the blanket from your pack and wrapped Ava in it as soon as she found a seat on a slab of concrete. 

"Comfy?" 

Ava smiled up at you, taking the proffered fruit slice from you. "Very." 

She examined the strange fruit. It had a thin violet skin with a spongy white inner layer and pink juice with black seeds  dripping from it. She leabed over your shoulder get a look at the fruit as a whole, and it seemed the pink goop was loose inside the fruit similar to a coconut. 

"Are these from the trees," she asked. 

"Yeah, they're edible don't worry. No side effects we've seen," you assure. 

Ava nods but as she's licking the tangy pink juice you continue, "well except for Nadia but she's a mutant." 

Ava flicks worried green eyes at you and slowly takes the fruit from her mouth. She's already swallowed on reflex so there's no turning back now, only managing whatever weird things would come next. 

"Uh… what do you mean by that?" 

You blink at Ava. "Oh it's not, like, bad or anything. Right, Nadia?" 

A dark skinned girl in an orange beanie looked up from her phone. "What?" 

"Tauri makes you, what, gassy?" 

The man on the grill threw his head back in a laugh and Nadia kicked a rock at you. "Ha hah, you're everybody's favorite clown in the circus. It doesn't make me gassy, you jerk, it makes me smell like roses actually." 

"Oh," Ava said, "that's all?" 

You and Nadia shared a knowing look. "It's strong. Not overpowering but strong like you've got your nose buried in a whole bouquet of them." 

"And your fingers tingle and you make sparkles– " 

"Nadia I think that's just you, baby!" 

People laughed and the conversation died down. Ava let the slip of tauri fruit linger in her grasp until you gently pried it out and ate it yourself. You were side eyeing her but kept your question to yourself and eventually Ava was able to relax. She fell asleep during Nadia's uncle Rodney's story with her head on your shoulder and dreamed of violet things. Violet dresses, violet paint, violet fires, and violet sprigs. 

All you could dream of was the smell of roses so close and so thick you could touch it. 

~

The walk through the natural path as the trees got thicker finally prompted Ava to ask the question that's been plaguing her. "How do you know them? Are they family?" 

You cast a quick glance over your shoulder and slowed your pace to match hers as your fingers tapped the straps of your backpack nervously. "Sort of. They were family when I had no home to go to. Then I got a job with enough money and a stupid good deal on my apartment because I had no priors. 

"Rodney and Jules and some of the others prefer it out here with the forest. Some of them have nowhere else to go or no way to take care of themselves. Nadia's been kicked out of every home she's ever been to, but she won't go to that gifted school for mutants in Westchester county. Can't say I blame her either." 

"School for mutants, eh," Ava said as she trudged on, "interesting." 

You walked along in silence, drinking in the inviting quiet of the forest and the tiny chirps and peeps of its new inhabitants. You'd almost say it would be a shame to tear this place down knowing it's a new natural habitat, but you know New York had a hundred bigger and more pressing issues to deal with right now. As long as any capitalist moguls kept their eyes elsewhere, the new jungle should be fine. 

As the forest becomes denser, you have to pull a rechargeable flashlight out to see the ground beneath you. Black bugs crawl under and over the brush and fallen twigs, and something no bigger than a cat scuttles away out of the path of the light. Ava puts a hand on your arm and you open your mouth to assure her you'd protect her, but as you look at her you realize she's ready to protect you. Arm poised out and eyes darting around for signs of sudden movement from the brush. 

You walk in silence for what feels like an fantastic eternity but when you look at the canopy you stop yourself. Ava looks up to, gently taking a hold of your hand to keep you close and it sends tingles up your arm. She rarely reaches for you but she seems to be growing more and more confident of it. 

Light dances beyond the thicket of the leaves. Green and gold flashes as a soft breeze creates gaps beyond the chitauri rib ceiling and every time a light flashes you feel warmth on your skin like soft little kisses. 

Something wooden creaks, and that creaking quickly turns to snapping. You unconsciously squeeze Ava's fingers as you spot a black tree trunk beginning to fall towards you. Suddenly, Ava's arms are around you and she pulls you down into a duck. 

Everything happens so fast it blinds you. You can't see, can only feel as shivers of warmth and cold jitter through your entire being, drowning you into sensations you've never felt before. It makes you feel fear more than anything. Is this how you die? Cowering? 

When the sounds of falling trees stop, there is only the wind and the rush of Ava's windbreaker against yours. You test your fingers to see if they still work and dig them into her back. Nothing broken, you're still standing if gravity is correct. 

She finally lets you lift your head from her embrace and survey the scene. That tree opened a spot in the canopy for more natural light to pour in which is good because your flashlight was lost among the thick bramble bushes. 

Ava brushes your forehead. "Are you OK?" 

It must be a trick of the light but she looks like she's shimmering. Perhaps you hit your head or something but it seems like you never fell. Your standing just beside the fallen tree but you could have sworn you'd almost felt it go through you. And then…

And then there was the smell of roses. 

"I'm fine," you say at last. "Let's get back, probably shouldn't have come here by ourselves anyways…" 

Ava gives you a look, it almost looks like trepidation. You steel your resolve and press on to retrace your steps, knowing you had a lot of walking to do before you would exit the treeline. 

Ava has powers and you're ok with that. You'll just let her tell you in her own time. 

[btsqualityy]

Scripted: Part 17

Namjoon x Reader; Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, President!Namjoon, Head of Security!Jimin

Warnings: (Reluctant) open relationship, mentions of cheating

Nine days. Nine days had passed without so much as a peep coming from Namjoon’s lips. There had been no change in his condition, for better or for worse, so it had literally turned into a massive waiting game for you and the citizens of South Korea. 

A majority of citizens were very much up in arms over the attempted assassination of their believed President. Many of them loved Namjoon for how insightful, progressive, and determined he was and it hurt their hearts to see some vile person try to cut that down. On the other hand though, there was a decent amount of the population who believed that Namjoon was a conceited asshole who needed this “reality check”; those are the people that you hoped would burn in Hell, right along with the dickheads who had tried to kill Namjoon.

Speaking of the killers, the last that you’d heard was that there were three possible suspects and that the special team that had been assembled just to find the conspirators were digging into that further. You couldn’t say that the news necessarily made you feel better, but it did ease the pain a little bit. 

As for you, you had been keeping consistent at Namjoon’s bedside the entire time that he had been unconscious. You’d leave sometimes, when Jimin managed to convince you that you needed to sleep in an actual bed or eat a full, regular meal, but that was only for a few hours at most and never overnight. Deep down, you knew that you probably should’ve been taking better care of yourself, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to leave Namjoon in that hospital room alone. 

As you were sat in your chair that was placed next to Namjoon’s bed, you were interrupted in the middle of reading a magazine by a knock on the door. As you lowered the magazine down onto your lap and looked over your shoulder, you saw Yoongi stepping inside. 

“Hey hey,” he called and you set the magazine aside before standing up, giving him a tight hug after he walked over to you. He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before pulling away, and you motioned for him to sit down in the empty chair that was next to yours.

“How is he?” Yoongi wondered and you sighed dejectedly.

“Still no change,” you told him. “The doctors said that some of the swelling that he was having has gone down, but we’re not sure if that’s a sign of recovery or not yet.”

“Dammit,” Yoongi huffed, shaking his head.

“How are things at the National Assembly Building?” You asked and Yoongi rolled his eyes. 

“It’s almost as if those old bastards were waiting for something to happen to him,” Yoongi spat as he motioned to Namjoon with his chin. “They’re already trying to undo the Farmer bailout plan that he introduced a few weeks ago.”

“Seriously?” 

“Seriously,” Yoongi nodded. “You know that they’ve always hated him.”

“Yeah I do, but I never thought it was that bad,” you grimaced.

“Us being young, open minded men who are more concerned with the lives of the citizens than we are with lining our own pockets will always bother them,” Yoongi explained. “The only reason that I haven’t let them have it yet is because I don’t wanna undo all of Joon’s handwork and I don’t want things to be harder for him whenever he does wake up.”

“I appreciate it Yoongi, and I know he does too,” you smiled softly. “Speaking of that though, anymore word on those suspects?”

“Oh yeah, that’s what I came here to tell you actually,” Yoongi gasped, remembering what he had wanted to tell you. Just before he could start talking though, you heard a raspy voice call out to you.

“Y/N-ah?” You whipped your head to the side, your eyes widening when you saw Namjoon’s head turned towards you and his eyes wide open. You sprung out of your chair, moving to sit on the edge of the hospital bed as you gently picked up one of his hands. 

“Oh my gosh, you’re up,” you smiled, trying to keep the tears from welling up and spilling over onto your cheeks. “Are you in any overwhelming pain?”

“Here,” he croaked, his other hand that you weren’t holding motioning towards his abdomen. You nodded and then looked over your shoulder at Yoongi. 

“Can you go get the doctor please?” You requested and Yoongi nodded, standing up from his chair and speed walking out of the room. You then turned back to Namjoon, reaching up and running your fingers through his slightly greasy hair. 

“I’m so happy that you’re awake,” you whispered to him. Before he could reply, the door burst open and Namjoon’s doctor was walking inside of the room followed by Yoongi. 

“Mr. President,” Dr. Song grinned, reaching up and removing the stethoscope from around his neck. “We’re very happy to see that you’re conscious again.”

“T-thank y-yo-,” Namjoon tried to say before coughing violently. You furrowed your brows while Dr. Song set the stethoscope on Namjoon’s chest, listening to his breathing. 

“First Lady Kim, do you want to get him some water?” Dr. Song asked. “His throat is probably really dry after 9 days.” You nodded and stood up from the bed, moving over to the side table where there was a pitcher of water and paper cups, grabbing one and filling it up before going back to the bed. Dr. Song had pressed the button on the hospital bed so that the top half of Namjoon’s body rose, making it so that he was sitting up.

“Here, slow sips,” you encouraged him, holding the cup up to his lips and watching as he took small drinks from it. After he had downed about two thirds of the cup, you pulled it away and set it on the side table.

“Better?” Dr. Song asked and Namjoon nodded slowly.

“Lots,” he replied clearly. 

“Do you remember what happened?” Dr. Song wondered.

“I was...shot, right?” Namjoon said and both you and Dr. Song nodded. “Was anyone else hurt?”

“I was alright, but Momo, Jungkook, and Taehyung all got hit in the crossfire,” you revealed and his eyes got noticeably larger. “They’re all ok though, don’t worry.”

“Thank God,” Namjoon huffed, a sharp exhale escaping his throat right after and you figured that his chest must be hurting. 

“We’re gonna do some more testing and xrays on you, to see if there’s any pressing issues that we need to take care of,” Dr. Song spoke up. “I’ll leave you guys to talk in the meantime though.” Dr. Song bowed deeply to Namjoon before turning and walking out of the room. 

“You have some timing, you know that?” Yoongi chuckled as he moved closer to the bed.

“You’ve been handling things in my absence?” Namjoon asked and Yoongi nodded. “I know the old geezers have been giving you hell, huh?”

“You don’t even know,” Yoongi groaned, making Namjoon chuckle deeply which then set off another round of coughing. 

“Relax,” you admonished him, making Namjoon nod before he leaned back against the bed. 

“So, did you catch the fucking bastards yet?” Namjoon wondered.

“That’s actually what I was about to talk to Y/N-ah about before you woke up,” Yoongi smiled. “We found the people responsible.”

“So those three were guilty?” You said.

“Yep,” Yoongi confirmed. “They claim to have done it because they believe that Joon is ruining the great country that South Korea is with his progressive ideals, and all that other bullshit.”

“We’re sure those old geezers in Assembly didn’t have anything to do with it, because that sounds like them?” Namjoon pointed out and you couldn’t help but to laugh softly.

“We’re sure,” Yoongi laughed. “The three who did it are in custody now and waiting for their arraignment.”

“Good, I hope they burn in hell,” Namjoon spat and you just shook your head at how much he sounded exactly like you did.

................................

Later that night, after Namjoon had gotten more tests and xrays done, he was back in his hospital room. The doctor found that the bullets had done some pretty bad damage to his chest cavity so he’d have to have another surgery soon in order to take care of that. 

“Would you stop fawning over me?” Namjoon chuckled, watching as you made sure that his blanket was tucked over his feet. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” you told him absentmindedly, moving up towards the top of the bed in order to fix his pillows behind his head. “Just because you woke up, doesn’t mean that you’re fine.”

“I’m alive, aren’t I?” He pointed out and you looked down at him, sighing heavily.  

“Yeah, but there were a lot of times over the last nine days that I thought that was going to change at any moment,” you admitted, dropping down so that you were sat on the edge of the hospital bed. “As much as I wanted you to be ok, the constant image of you falling down those steps with your chest bleeding replaying in my head made it hard to believe that you’d ever wake up. I think that’s why I didn’t want to leave your side once you were out of surgery.”

“You stayed here with me the entire time?” He questioned and you hummed in affirmation. “You know, when I was unconscious, I had dreams.”

“Really?” You said in surprise. 

“Well, I’m not sure if they would be considered dreams in the conventional sense, but that’s what they felt like,” he explained. “I dreamed about a lot of things, but mostly you.”

“Me?” You squeaked. 

“Yeah. I dreamed about how we first met, and our wedding day, and the day that we found out that you were pregnant,” he said and you smiled sadly. 

“You almost fainted in our bathroom when you saw those two lines,” you laughed at the memory. 

“Can you blame me for being terrified?” He huffed playfully. “I didn’t want to be the kind of father that my dad was to me, to our child so I was scared shitless.”

“You wouldn’t have been like your father,” you assured him. “You couldn’t have been that bad even if you tried your hardest to be.”

“I had a lot of dreams about that too,” he said before elaborating. “About me and my dad and our relationship.”

“And how was that?”

“Let’s just say that a lot of the things that he’s talked me into over the years, were more for his benefit rather than mines,” Namjoon summed up and you nodded because you had always known that. 

“I’m sorry,” you told him. “I know you’ve always had mixed emotions towards your dad.”

“Yeah,” he sighed before looking at you. “Can I tell you something? And you don’t have to give me an answer but I’d like for you to think about it.”

“Sure,” you shrugged. 

“I remember that you asked for a divorce before we got out of the limo that night,” Namjoon started. “Do you still want that?”

“Joon, with everything going on, I haven’t even thought about that,” you replied honestly.

“But you’re with Jimin, right?” He asked and you hesitated for a few seconds before nodding. “Well, I hope that you’ll still maybe consider me.”

“Huh?” You grunted in confusion. 

“That night, I just gave up and agreed to the divorce because I didn’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have,” he explained. “But in one of the dreams I had, I realized that I owe it to myself and to you to fight for what we have because we were good before all of this shit happened. I know that I’ve been the literal worst husband ever for the last eight months and despite whatever reasons that I thought justified that, it doesn’t make anything that I did right.”

“So what exactly are you saying?” You asked for clarification.

“I’m saying, that I’m going to fight for you Kim Y/N, because I love you and I’ve never stopped,” he declared firmly. “I’ll go to counseling, both on my own and with you, so that we could work on our issues if that’s something that you’d in interested in. And I ‘d do whatever else it takes to win you back.”

“It doesn’t just work like that though, Joon,” you told him weakly.

“I know and if you decide here and now that you wanna stay with Jimin and go ahead with the divorce, then I’m not gonna make it hard for you and that’s a promise,” he assured you. “But I’m also not gonna stand idly by without at least trying.” You just stared at him, wondering why the hell it had taken this version of Namjoon, the version that you had fallen in love with all those years ago in college, to show up. 

Instead of giving him an outright answer either way, you just leaned forward and pressed your lips against his forehead, letting your lips linger on his skin for a few seconds before pulling away from him. 

................................

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[plethora-of-imagines]

Gag Gift

AN: This time the trope I am playing with is gag gifts! 

Word Count: 1661

Warnings: caning, mentions of fisting, minor humiliation

Description: Missy doesn’t seem to understand what a gag gift is... or does she?

Tag List: @c-s-stars @queerconfusionthings @how-masterful @truthbehindthemysteries

The freezing rain outside was relentless. Rushing towards the doors of Missy’s TARDIS you found yourself praying to whatever merciful entities existed in the universe that the doors were unlocked. You had wrongly assumed that because it was winter there would be snow. Soft, surprisingly dry in comparison, snow. You felt like a drowned cat. Hair stuck to your face, chilled to the bone, and very unhappy with your current situation.

You hadn’t bothered to zip your coat up. A mistake on your part. You had hoped that you could keep the book you bought for Missy dry by covering it with your jacket. You had managed to keep the book relatively dry from what you could tell but at the sacrifice of your own clothes becoming soaked.  Focusing on keeping the one side of your jacket wrapped around the book in your grasp, leaving the rest of the jacket to blow around in the wind. You should have crossed both sides of your coat around yourself and the book. Then you might have remained dry. At least no one was around to witness your insanity.

You burst through the TARDIS doors as they teased you by opening with ease. Stumbling into the TARDIS and right into Missy’s face. Feeling her breath on your lips. Gasping wordlessly at how close she was to you in your soaked and disheveled state.

“Well hello there, poppet,” her wicked smile warned you to prepare for her to say something that would emotionally destroy you in some manner. “You do know that your shirt is deliciously see-through, your nipples look particularly cold today too.”

Well, making your entire face blush a bright red was one way to help you warm up from the chill... You tightly wrapped your coat around yourself to hide your soaked clothing from sight.

“Well, I feel very cold all over so you aren’t wrong.”

“Yes, I assumed as much. You’re dripping all over my console room floor too, and not in an entertaining manner.”

“Sorry, Missy,” you answered thoroughly, reprimanded even as you knew there was nothing you could have really done to prevent this.

Ignoring your embarrassment at exposing yourself again you removed your coat and shoes, placing the parcel you had purchased on the small table Missy had added next to the coat rack just for the small odds and ends you collected on trips. You awkwardly stood near the entrance, waiting for Missy or the TARDIS to show you some mercy and bring you a towel. You didn’t want to wander the halls in search of a bathroom for one and leave an obnoxious trail of water for you to clean up.

Missy took pity on your shivering body after a few minutes throwing a towel at you. Taking off your sopping wet clothes you left them in a pile near the doors for a lack of a better place for them. The towel wrapped around you and tucked into itself to help it stay in place on its own. You finally entered the console room properly now that you were naked underneath your towel and no longer likely to get water all over the floor. 

Padding to Missy’s side to ask what she wanted from you. She seldom waited up for you in the console room when you went on trips by yourself, unless- of course- she had a reason for wanting to see you right when you got back from your excursion. 

“Did you need me for something Missy?”

“No, not particularly need,” you waited for her to continue. “I have a gift for you, poppet, that I would like for you to open.”

“It’s not the holidays yet Missy,” you didn’t question her. She obviously knew that it was not the holidays yet. Keeping your curiosity contained to a statement of fact was the safer option.

“Yes, well it’s more of a gag gift than an actual gift. FIgured I would keep your cries of laughed separate from your crying over how “sweet and thoughtful” I am. Wouldn’t want to dehydrate you over the holidays.”

“Alright then, I suppose I am already thoroughly watered by the weather outside so tears of laughter can’t cause any real harm at the moment.”

Missy rolled her eyes at you before she shoved a wrapped box into your chest with enough force to make you exhale in surprise. 

You took care in unwrapping the gift, partly just to frustrate her by making her wait to see your reaction. The paper was shiny, with little raindeers prancing along in lines. The box revealed inside was discreet. Matte black with not identifiable labels, giving you no hints as to what was contained inside. Honestly, you had no idea as to what Missy would consider to be a gag gift. With your luck, it would be the body of some random person that she had shrunk.

Lifting the lid of the box revealed, a literal gag. Missy bought you a gag, as a gag gift.

You burst into laughter. You didn't know why the concept was so funny to you, it just was. Missy taking the idea of a gag gift so literally. Sucking in gulps of air your laughter reduced to giggles you whipped the tears from your eyes so that you could clearly see.

The gag was of impressively high quality. The ball was soft, yet firm. It seemed very bite-able for a lack of a better description. Three little pin-sized holes in the ball to allow for you to breathe if you panicked and forgot to breathe through your nose. The leather strap that would hold it in place was made of colored leather, purple of course to match Missy's personal aesthetic.

You let your fingers trail along it. It was an incredibly high-quality gag. You really wanted to use it, now.

"Missy as much as I love this, I don't think you quite understand how gag gifts are supposed to work."

"Now what possible issue could you find with a gag gift that is an actual gag. The object is right in the concept's name. A - gag- gift, a gag that is gifted to someone. You can't tell me I'm wrong, poppet!"

"I mean you do have a point. But normally gag gifts are just something funny that no one ever ends up using!"

"And the problem is?"

"Missy, I very much want to use this gag gift."

"I still don't see that being a real problem," Missy was smiling at you in a manner that reminded you of a smug cat.

You rolled your eyes at Missy’s antics.

"If you don't start being thankful poppet I'll have to shove that gag in your mouth and give you a solid canning right here in the console room until your eyes are leaking like a faucet."

"I-"

Your stuttered words were cut off by Missy shoving the gag into your open mouth with force. Ripping away your towel and throwing it across the room. This had all been planned, hadn't it? Missy just wanted an excuse to playfully torment you.

"So ungrateful," Missy complained as she secured the gag in place.

You tried to protest through the gag, muffled noises barely making it past the spaces between your mouth and the gag. Spaces that only existed because you hadn't yet accepted your position and bit down around the ball gag.

"The lip on you today, poppet. After I was so kind as to get you an early holiday gift," she was purposely ignoring your attempts to backtrack. "I suppose I will have to increase your punishment."

She tapped her fingers against her chin as she considered what to do to you. You watched enthralled. She was always so dynamic and interesting to watch.

"I know," she smiled cruelly with eager sparks in her eyes. "I'll give each hand an opportunity to try and fist you."

She shoved you towards the console. Immediately you obeyed her wordless command and assumed your position at the console. You didn't dare protest and increase your punishment. You couldn’t help but be nervous. Missy had never managed to fist you, no matter how much she really wanted to. You doubted that it would happen this time either, but her attempts would be as intense as they ever were.

Bent over the console, hands gripping the handles near the center. Handles you were almost certain had been placed there just for situations like this where she wanted you bent over the console. Legs spread shoulder-width apart. You could feel the nobs and dials digging into your skin. It was an uncomfortable position but you didn’t dare shift too much in discomfort. Not when you were about to be caned.

You trembled in anticipation of the first strike. When it hit its mark against your bare ass you screamed. Barely a whimper found its way past the gag. Missy had clearly spent a lot of money on a quality gag for her joke. Though you were beginning to suspect that it was more of a trap than a joke.

"Not a peep? I must not be hitting hard enough... My apologies, poppet, I'll make sure to correct that mistake so that you can learn to be thankful."

You could already feel yourself dripping at her words. She laughed as she watched your arousal dripping onto the floor.

"You're going to have quite the large puddle to lick up by the time your punishment is over! You are such a pain slut and size bitch after all, aren't you poppet?"

You would feel your cheeks flushing as she belittled you. You found yourself eager for this faux punishment that would serve to test out the new gag. If this was Missy's gag gift you couldn't wait to see what her more serious gifts would be. They promised a very good time if this one was an accurate example of her level of thought into her gifts.

[meloncubedradpops]

Repo! the Corona Opera: Part Two Fascist Boogaloo

Greetings fellow Repo! fans,

Here is my second installment of a series of three essays where I compare our contemporary times with the movie Repo! the Genetic Opera. My first piece detailed the similarities between the two worlds, and turns out, I have an awful lot to talk about still. I ended my last article by posing the question, "What went wrong in this dystopia to normalize the concept of death due to nonpayment?" No doubt, this movie is incredibly outrageous on many fronts, particularly within the dynamics of the Largo family. As mentioned in the previous piece, I highlighted the pervasiveness of GeneCo's power and influence towards the citizens in the city (is it called city of GeneCo? GeneCo-land? GenCity? An actual city in Italy??). 

People who write stories often bend the rules to make their story compelling. Be it exaggerating social interactions, creating scientifically impossible scenarios, or even allowing the characters to use technology that does not exist yet. I admit the creators of Repo! applied all those tactics and more, which makes the parallels I draw that much more surreal. I want to acknowledge this before I dive deeper because yes, I truly think it would be impossible to have a company who can offer cheap and dirty surgeries with an absence of debilitating class action lawsuits resulting from botched procedures, infection, or their body rejecting the organ transplant. And while I admit Zydrate does not exist, yet, but we do have a long history with opioid abuse. If you asked me when I first watched the movie if I think the Largo family could be a mirror of an ultra wealthy family from real life, I would have politely disagreed with you. But times right now are freaking weird. A single day does not go by where something completely outlandish is blasted all over the news, particularly in the United States. 

In my last essay I pointed out examples where the citizens in GenCity live a life after experiencing a mass extinction event. Besides the technological anachronisms, society and GeneCo have an uncomfortably close relationship with each other. GeneCo is not merely a corporation that offers healthcare and surgeries, it has an unyielding power politically too. I argue that GenCity is ran by a fascist government that is controlled and operated by GeneCo. 

If you're not a person who is super familiar with fascism, basically it's an extremist right wing government philosophy. I find it interesting that in the song "21st Century Cure", Graverobber says: Industrialization has crippled the globe. Although plagues, war, and other hardships existed before industrialization, that paradigm of change accelerated the imbalances between man and nature. Fascism did not exist until after World War I, after all. Between the world war itself and the Spanish Flu of 1918, there was a lot of pain and suffering felt all over the world. Fascists took advantage of vulnerable populations and asserted that their political party is the only correct party, and those who oppose are considered an enemy. Historically fascist governments have blurred the lines between the spheres of what's considered "public" and "private", and often danced harmoniously with business allies in pursuit of profit. As an effect, fascist governments have required citizens to foot the bill of a private company's losses. With enough propaganda, fascist governments will have you believing that this is ultimately for the betterment of everyone. And if you give them enough time, they will normalize terrible acts against humanity that barely make a peep, if the truth even comes to light. 

For the rest of this essay, I will be highlighting examples in the Repo! movie that correspond with characteristics of fascism, using political scientist Dr. Lawrence Britt's The 14 Characteristics Of Fascism, which was published in the spring 2003 issue of Free Inquiry magazine.

The 14 characteristics are:

1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism: Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays. 

The world surrounding GeneCo occupies itself with the concept that this incorporated area derives a sense of nationalism, in the absence of much dissent. If you see below, there is an advertisement on the top right corner that says, "Your Birthplace for a new Heredity". GeneCo is not just a company that sells organs and surgeries. It is its own incorporated city. This ad, combined with GeneCo's relentless messaging that not only did this company save humanity, you must conform to the idea that only GeneCo can provide you the experience of feeling clean, safe, and perfect.

2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of "need." The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.

Being able to legally repossess someone's organs because they didn't make their organ payments is about as disdainful as you can get. Nathan has a whole song called "Legal Assassin", and there doesn't appear to be many laws that would at least have the pretense that these repossessions are remotely humane. There are multiple instances in the movie where Nathan approaches a client who is already restrained, panicked, and powerless. From what I can gather from the media in Gencity, GeneCo proliferates the idea that the company would be dysfunctional if people could get financed surgeries and let those payments go to collections. When you're a mega corporation, they let you do it.

3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause: The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial , ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.

While the career of a Graverobber is certainly creepy and macabre, the idea that they could be executed without a jury of their peers is especially strange. After I created my last essay, my friend Veronica pointed out, that per "A Needle Into A Bug", one of the deleted scenes from the movie, that street zydrate is not actually derived from the brains of dead people. He extracts zydrate from bugs that nest inside the craniums of dead people, which in my opinion is a huge distinction. So who is he really stealing from? Is it morally okay to dig up a corpse to get drug goo to sell to junkies? Absolutely not, and the idea is incredibly disrespectful for the dead. And while I am sure there are graverobbers in this world that likely steal things like jewelry from corpses, I still wouldn't justify being executed extrajudicially. 

Further, Graverobber's relationship with the Largo family has me believing even more that GeneCo needs them more than their media campaign can justify. Rotti has access to incredible surveillance of the city, so you would think he would eliminate anyone who enabled Amber Sweet's addiction. My theory is GeneCo knows that street zydrate may result in more surgery sales. However they want to continue making money selling the lab-grown stuff. So the end justifies the means, if we can associate graverobbers and those who use street zydrate as criminals, we can continue believing that "they" are the enemies setting everyone else back.

4. Supremacy of the Military: Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized. AND 12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment: Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.

GeneCo employs a private police force to carry out law enforcement. They patrol around a graveyard, a quasi-public space carved out for those who mourn. And because there is pervasive video surveillance, Rotti can demand that they do his bidding at any time. An example is his order to murder the repo man. We aren't aware of any sort of involvement beyond the borders of GenCity, but even the concept of a graveyard being a warzone is a special kind of hell. 

5. Rampant Sexism- The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Opposition to abortion is high, as is homophobia and anti-gay legislation and national policy.

Genterns! On the surface, it’s pretty cool that there is a large volume of female medical professionals who are skilled enough to carry out surgeries. However behind the sexy veneer is the reality that Genterns are not set up for success. They are not provided adequate PPE and work under non-sterile conditions. In the "Mark it Up" scene, one is killed by Luigi. Imagine going to medical school for years and years, only to be tasked with the job of organ warehouse worker. Then on one of your shifts you are stabbed to death because the CEO's son bumped into you while you were working. Not only that, but you are also expected to dress proactively for the purpose of selling the GeneCo product and experience.  

6. Controlled Mass Media: Sometimes to media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common. GeneCo has a monopoly on the media of the city. Politics, entertainment, healthcare, you name it, they have a direct stake in, and control over, the media. We do see from time-to-time tabloid clippings of the Largo family. But generally speaking, GeneCo puts a lot of effort in upholding their image. The best evidence is Blind Mag's story. She is a singer who acquired the ability to see after a GeneCo cornea surgery. And while she clocked into work day in and day out, singing and advertising for GeneCo for 17+ years, her departure resulted in Rotti murdering her. But why? Was he afraid of the things she would say? Rotti knew he was terminally ill when she declared her resignation, and yet killing her on stage is somehow less of a scandal?

7. Obsession with National Security: Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses. Fascist countries use fear as a tactic to keep the masses scared and compliant. The universe of Repo! is one filled with tragedy. Millions of people have died. I would imagine that the series of events that would lead to the creation and success of GeneCo was contingent upon people being scared for their lives. While dealing with the coronavirus, I find myself constantly checking my temperature, keeping my distance from people, and wearing a mask out in public. The human spirit is resilient, which is how we have survived so long. However sociopaths smell our fear and use it against us. The city of GeneCo is surrounded by plots upon plots of graveyards, signifying the carnage left after their public health crisis. I have a strong feeling that GeneCo was able to harness the threat of whatever caused the massive organ failure epidemic and as an effect created a power vacuum. 

8. Religion and Government are Intertwined: Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government's policies or actions.

This one is going to be a reach, particularly because there is an absence of religion in this story. I don't think religion would be on the creator's of Repo!'s purview, and honestly I don't blame them. If you look at the imagery of the story, however, it is very gothic. We have no idea if religion survives, and if it does, to what extent. I would imagine that people still have spiritual needs, and I argue that the GeneCo Opera is an example of how they get that fulfilled. 

"If you want it, baby, GeneCo's got it"

The GeneCo opera is not your typical opera experience. GeneCo specifically tells their customers to "testify". People are singing in unison, praising GeneCo. Clearly GeneCo has taken several human rituals and blended them together to create an over-the-top entertainment experience that seeks to advertise their company behind the testimonials of its patrons. The benefits of the opera for GeneCo, as a fascist entity, are two-fold: have people associate their most nirvana moments with an experience only GeneCo can offer (zydrate and surgery), and distract them with religious-like concerts so they won't question their neighbors being murdered on the streets by that very same company. 

9. Corporate Power is Protected: The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite. AND 13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption: Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.

Throughout the entire movie, the Largo family is front and center. We know Rotti is terminally ill, and he utilizes his final moments to tie up loose ends in his life. His children feel entitled to his estate and the company of GeneCo. At no point do we see Rotti consult with a board of directors at GeneCo, a private fiduciary firm, or with any government entity. I would describe the company of GeneCo to be a weird combination of an aristocracy, government body, and corporation. His children commit crimes with no recourse or justice. Rotti kills the doctor who tells him he's dying. Luigi kills multiple people throughout the movie. In one of the opening scenes, we see a photograph showing Pavi is cutting off a woman's face. In the credits we see Amber's body guards lying dead on the floor during her press statement. What sort of corruption took place to make these occurrences so prevalent and normalized? 

10. Labor Power is Suppressed: Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed.

We aren't super privy to the machinations that make this city functional. But there is a clear stratification that has sustained itself long enough that healthcare is not a right in this city, and those who can't pay for necessary healthcare can finance it. In a just society, if we have the means to save humanity, we can figure out a way to pay for it. Be it taxes on the most wealthy or other cost-saving measures, if there is a will, there is a way. However if you give a company enough power and money, it will do everything it can to stay on top. The best examples I can think of would be Nathan and Blind Mag's tenuous career at GeneCo. Neither really wanted the job they were given, but they were forced into those positions by Rotti. Had Bling Mag belonged to a entertainment union, would she have had more protections? Would a proper investigation into the murder of Marni result in justice being served, and the opportunity for Nathan to live a better adjusted life? Rotti masterfully manipulates situations that create powerless outcomes for his employees.

11. Disdain for Intellectuals: Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts is openly attacked, and governments often refuse to fund the arts We don't see any particular evidence that GeneCo is currently hostile to higher education or academia. What we do know is the technologies of this world are akin to something we'd see out of the 20th century. However GeneCo is advanced enough to synthesize usable organs.  In my last essay, I drew parallels to today by highlighting that there may have been a "brain drain" of intellectualism as a result of academics dying from their public health crisis. Outside of the opera house, we don't see many examples of art in this world. Maybe this is what happens when a government stops funding programs it deems frivolous or challenges the status quo?

14. Fraudulent Elections: Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.

Based off context clues in the movie, we know that there is a group of voting citizens who help determine whether or not a company can repossess financed organs that are passed due on their payments. We don't know who makes these votes, the election process, or anything like that. So it is hard to say if GeneCo goes beyond their media campaign convincing voters to keep repossessions legal. Despite this lack of knowledge, I would argue that GeneCo wields incredible power regarding the course of elections for laws that apply to them. Okay, you want to pass a law to make organ repossession illegal? Fine, we don't have to offer products on a payment plan. The very threat of being able to take away healthcare is something right wing governments loveeee doing. 

Speaking of elections, the United States 2020 general election is approaching. Now that I argued the ways that GeneCo is fascist, I will tie together ideas from both of these essays into a final piece that I hope you will like. If you enjoyed this article, please send it to all your Repo! friends.

[sgtbuckyybarnes]

“You’re my family” For the Marauders and Dax. 

Requested by @isaaclahys <3

Daxia winced slightly as she lowered herself down onto the sofa beside Sirius, despite all of the treatments she had received over the years from Madam Pomfrey and the healers in the order her old Quidditch injury in her knee still gave her issue. 

“Here,” Sirius said, reaching his hand out for her mug of tea before she spilled it everywhere. He kept hold of it until she was comfortable, tucking her feet beneath his leg, before passing it back. 

“Thank you,” she answered as she took it, wrapping her fingers around the warmth and closing her eyes as she breathed in the smell of the honey inside. James always knew how to make the perfect cuppa. 

As his hand landed on her knee a laugh lit up his face at something James was mouthing to him from across the room and she couldn’t help but feel her heartbeat skip slightly in her chest. He had been gone, off on a mission from Dumbledore, for far too long and, despite the tension it caused between them, she almost couldn’t believe she finally had him back. 

“Oi Lestrange!”

Her eyebrows raised as her attention was drawn from the sweet smelling liquid warming her palms. Glancing up she smiled as she was met with Remus pulling a face “Yes Lupin?”

“You were in your own little world then and, as exciting as I am sure the side of Padfoot’s face is, we need you back in the room,” he said gesturing around the lot of them. He was sat opposite, almost buried beneath a pile of cushions James had thrown on the floor to accommodate both him and Peter, while James was staring over to her from where he was draped across the armchair in the corner. 

“If you had the chance to sit beside this-” Sirius paused to circle his face with his hand “- Moony I’m sure you’d be distracted too,” he said with a smirk, glancing to Daxia and sending her a wink as she rolled her eyes. 

“What riveting conversation was I missing then?” Daxia asked as Peter came into the room, flopping down on the cushions beside Remus. Despite the environment he still seemed to be uncomfortable as he gripped onto the bottle of butterbeer in his hand and glanced around his friends, his movements even more awkward and his eyes extra watery. 

“I was just pointing out that this is the first time the Marauders have been together, alone, with nothing else on our minds, since Hogwarts,” Remus explained before Daxia could ask if Peter was alright.

“We did try not to have things other than ourselves on our minds at Hogwarts,” James mused, reaching up and ruffling his hand through his hair “So Lily keeps reminding me anyway.”

“Is she telling Harry lies about us already?” Daxia asked with narrowed eyes “I’ll be having a word and telling him my versions of those bedtime stories as soon as possible,” she continued before taking a sip of her tea “He’ll love the one about the bowtruckles.”

“Bowtruckles? That one was weak!” Sirius exclaimed, smiling sweetly as Daxia sent him a glare “I’m just saying the day we enchanted all the History of Magic textbooks to sing when they were opened up was better! The look on Binns’ face was priceless.”

“You’re only saying that one because it was your idea,” Daxia huffed, digging her elbow into his side “What about-”

“All right, all right lovebirds,” James cut through with a chuckle “We all know the day we got the Giant Squid on side trumps them all. Moony? Tell me you agree?”

“You’re all focussing too much on the pranks when we literally wrote the Marauders Map,” Remus answered with a shake of his head “I do hope someone finds it behind that bookcase in the common room.” 

“I still think we should have brought it with us,” Daxia said with a pout.

“What was the point in us having it here? We need to influence the future troublemakers coming through those doors!” James exclaimed, laughter lighting up his face “Hey, maybe it’ll be Harry who finds it.”

“It better still be there for Harry to find,” Daxia said with a grumble “How about you Peter?”

“Huh?” Peter answered, jumping slightly at hearing his name “Oh yeah...the bowtruckle one was good.”

Remus shrugged as Daxia’s eyebrows fell into a frown “Think the butterbeer has gone to your head Wormtail,” he said reaching over and nudging his friend’s shoulder with his knuckles “You’re on another planet mate.”

“You’ve always been on another planet haven’t you Pete,” Sirius said teasingly, their comments seeming to bring Peter back into the room a little more “Harry will hear plenty of stories from us all,” Sirius continued “He’ll probably get sick to death of us reliving our glory days at the dinner table.”

“Can you imagine what it’ll be like when he goes to Hogwarts?”

“He’s one Dax I think we’ve got plenty of time to prepare,” James chuckled.

“And by prepare he means tell him all the tricks in the book,” Sirius added on with a wink. 

“I’m not sure Lils would be as impressed by that Padfoot,” Remus chipped in.

“I dunno, we got you guys pretty good on occasion!” Dax argued with a smirk, pausing for Peter to add something only to be disappointed once again “It’s nice to just be sat here,” she mused before taking another mouthful of her tea “Not worried about what’s to come.” 

Sirius sent her a reassuring smile as he squeezed her knee. There wasn’t much he could say to ease her troubles these days, especially with him soon leaving once again to head abroad with the Order. 

“You’re at the meeting tomorrow right Lestrange?” James asked, waiting for her nod of confirmation before continuing “I’ll pop by yours on my way, we can go in together.”

“Yeah,” Daxia answered, her fingertips tapping against her mug nervously “Yeah I’d like that.” 

They lasted another hour, Peter retiring back to his mother’s place to see her before they were placed on their missions once more in the morning and Remus heading home yawning after lasting as long as he could so soon after a full moon. 

“Come on then you,” Sirius said reaching for Daxia’s hand as she rubbed at her tired eyes “We better get going before Lily arrives to kick us out.” 

“Lily would do no such thing!” the redhead herself exclaimed as she emerged from the kitchen, sending her friends a grin before greeting James with a kiss “I snuck in through the back,” she explained to the confused faces glancing her way as she unwound her scarf from around her neck and slipped out of her coat “Have you asked them yet?”

“I was waiting for you!”

“I told you if I wasn’t here to just go for it.”

“And now you are here and we can ask them together.”

Sirius and Daxia exchanged glances “Is this some kind of married people code we’re not a part of?” he asked “Because we have no idea what is going on right now.”

“We want you both to be Harry’s Godparents,” Lily exclaimed, her hands soon slapping over her mouth as she sent James an apologetic look “Sorry,” she said, her voice muffled “I know you wanted to ask them.” 

Sirius and Daxia both looked on at the excitable parents with arched eyebrows, their jaws dropping open “Us?” they both asked at the same time “Are you sure?”

“Are you kidding?” James answered, pausing his whispering with Lily to glance at them with furrowed brows “You’re my family, I couldn’t imagine asking anyone better.” 

“Me too,” Lily added with a grin as wide as James’ “If anything were to happen to me or James-” she began, quickly adding “Which it won’t!” when she spotted Daxia’s bottom lip wobble slightly “We couldn’t imagine anyone who’d do a better job. You both already love him like he’s your own,” Lily said with a smile before turning to James “He has been sleeping hasn’t he?”

“Haven’t heard a peep from him,” Daxia answered automatically “I popped my head in earlier when I went to the toilet and he was cuddled up with that dog cuddly toy Sirius got him for his birthday.”

Sirius smiled sheepishly “I popped my head in too earlier, snores like his dad.”

James and Lily exchanged another one of their irritating, know all, smiles “And you’re wondering why we’ve asked you both?” James asked with a shake of his head “Actually you haven’t even given us an answer yet.” 

“Yes!” both Daxia and Sirius said at the same time “Yes we’d love to,” Daxia continued for the two of them, letting out a loud laugh as Lily jumped on the spot and threw her arms around her best friend, James and Sirius mirroring them.

“Thank you for trusting us,” Sirius said as they swapped hugging partners, Lily patting him on the back and pressing a kiss to his cheekbone.

“We trust you with our lives, both of you, Padfoot,” she said, happy tears twinkling in her eyes “So of course we trust you with Harry.” 

“Come on,” James said, reaching out and grasping hold of both of their arms “Come and have another cup of tea. We need to discuss the christening!” 

They hesitated for a moment, tiredness threatening to overtake them, but ended up exchanging grins. As much as they knew they would always be welcome at Godric’s Hollow and could pop by at any time there was something different that night, something keeping them with their friends. 

“Put the kettle on James!” Daxia exclaimed “And don’t forget the honey.”

Tag List - @jewelswrites-ish @foxesandmagic @prophecy-grrl @ocfairygodmother @stanley--barber @eddies--gazebos @ochub @oreostars

[heavymetalover]

Strangers In the Night (Xavier Plympton x fem reader)

Summary: You’re hitchhiking when getting picked up by an unexpected stranger.

Warnings: smut, dirty talk, oral sex, vaginal sex, daddy kink, fluff (omg).

Word count: 6.2k

A/N: im SORRY about the daddy kink AGAIN… i have daddy issues.

this ended up being wholesome, i feel letdown tbh.

~mostly inspired by the beautiful ones by prince~

~~~~

  You chew away on your gum, taking small steps through the gravel going towards your destination. Surrounded by nothing but a narrow road and some woods. As night begins to fall, you become a little more suspicious of each sound rocking in the trees. After all, there’s been a crazy murderer on the loose around LA. Gives you shivers just thinking he could be lurking, watching.

The sound of a car approaches and you follow the routine of turning towards the road and sticking a polished thumb up in hopes you’ll attract a Good Samaritan. The dusty red Nissan slows down to give you an unbearably loud honk and speeds away, you spit into the dust it leaves behind. “Fucker!” you yell out, although certain the road hog wouldn’t hear.

Another driver approaches, quite a large van. You shyly stick out your thumb again and feel a smile inching onto your face; sometimes friendliness can tempt the strangers. You can’t see them from where you stand, but their van pulls to the side of the road for you.

Not wasting a beat, you spit your gum out onto the road and skip over to the van. The window’s rolled down and a dapper man sits in the driver’s seat. Frosted hair hairsprayed to perfection, green tank top exposing his trim arms, and sunglasses tipped slightly over the bridge of his nose, exposing ravishing blue eyes. “Hey honey,” he greets with a smirk, “need a lift?”

You jump onto the step for the passenger’s door and lean into the window, head resting on your arms. “You headed north?” you ask, biting your bottom lip to entice the stranger.

“Sure am,” he replies looking out onto the road. “Just stopping at Oasis, is that far enough for you?”

You shrug your head into a shoulder, peering out onto the road with half a smile. You lean back on the step, gripping onto the window with your fingerless gloves. “Hey, beggars can’t be choosers, right?” you joke, leaning back into the window and turning to look at the handsome man again. He’s taken his sunglasses off completely, biting the tips seductively with his dazzling eyes plastered on you. Your heart sinks in your chest, not even bothering to hold back your nervous smile. You run your tongue between your teeth and his eyes find the floor of his van.

He shakes his head and puts his sunglasses back on. “You better get inside before you get me in trouble, baby,” he says with a slight sigh.

You jump off of the step to swing open the door and eagerly hop into the passenger’s seat, throwing your backpack into the back of his van and slamming the door shut. Digging through your pocket for a pack of cigarettes that you stole from your roommate before fleeing; you hit the box, taking the single stick that jut out, and sticking it between your teeth. “Mind if I…?” you trail off, dangling the cigarette between your lips.

His eyes dart towards you and back onto the road, “Oh no, of course not. Go right ahead,” he blurts, adjusting himself in his seat. “Actually,” he reaches beside him and grabs a small lighter, “I got that for you.”

He hangs over his seat, keeping one hand on the wheel. He sparks the lighter once, twice before it ignites. He holds the flame to your cigarette, his eyes meeting yours only for a moment. You sharply inhale the oaky, bitter taste of tobacco before hastily blowing it into his face. He leans back into his seat, suppressing an obvious smile as he goes back to focusing on the road. “You’re going to get someone killed one day if you wanna act like a gentleman, lighting up my cigarette and being all chivalrous.”

“Pfft,” he jeers. “Can’t kill anybody when there’s no one around.”

He glances at you, cross earring hanging from one of his ears and you feel a drop in the pit of your stomach. “You look so familiar,” you mention before taking another drag.

“I get Simon Le Bon a lot,” he nods.

“No,” you shake your head.

“George Michael?” he guesses with an apathetic shrug.

“No, no, not like that,” you take another drag. “I’ve seen you -your face- before somewhere,” you tap your chin, “somewhere.”

“Oh!” he sounds enthusiastic. “I teach aerobics! Maybe you came by the studio?”

“No, I haven’t,” you reply mindlessly, drawing more thick smoke into your lungs and tapping the tip of the stick to remove excess ash. You’re searching every crevasse of your brain for where you’ve seen this man before, but coming up empty.

He looks nervous with the more time you spend silently pondering. “I’m a pretty serious actor, maybe you’ve seen some of my stuff,” he suggests, trying to break the silence.

Your heart skips a beat and you accidentally fling your cigarette out the window from excitement. “Oh my gosh! Yes! That’s where I’ve seen you! I have seen some of your stuff, ooh baby, I’ve seen all of your stuff,” you exclaim, pointing down to his crotch. “One of my old roommates was gay, had a total hard-on for your VHS.”

The man shakes his head, nervous laughter evading his lips. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Oh, don’t you dare bullshit me,” your voice cracks into a squeal as you push his arm. He’s still shaking his head as confutation. “No, no, no, don’t even deny it. I saw a skinny guy taking a hard piping from you! I know it was you, how could I mistake that beautiful face? And you even have the earring, c’mon.”

“Look, I don’t know who you think I am, okay?” he snaps in distress. He doesn’t entertain your claims, instead shaking his head weakly. “I’m not…” his voice quivers. “I’m not gay.”

You feel an instant pang of regret for making such a big deal about the tape. “Oh,” you sigh, “well, I never thought you, you were.” You slump back into your seat, positioning yourself to face the road again. The man has gone silent. “I mean, for what it’s worth,” you start, but your mind screams at you to stop. Just let it go, he’s clearly uncomfortable.

You purse your lips together and sigh, suffocating your hands between squished thighs. You fill your cheeks up with air in hopes it’ll get you to stop yapping. The only sound present is the tires going over the gravelly road. “For what it’s worth?” he finally asks.

You hold back a smile, turning back to him. “I was just going to say you looked like you were really good,” you blurt out. “And big,” you bring your voice higher in an attempt to sound more flirtatious, “very, very big.” He exhales a lazy snicker and shakes his head. “What?” you throw up your hands defensively, “It’s true!”

He continues shaking his head. “You’re too much,” he exhales.

“Well apparently you are too,” you quip, raising an eyebrow.

His mouth is agape, no words coming out and too stunted by yours to even attempt a rebuttal. He glances at you, eyes peeping over his glasses to get a better look. “Who are you?” he asks.

You perk up in your seat, offering your hand to him since he’s already proven himself to be a careless driver. “I’m y/n,” you say with a jaunty smile. “And you are?”

He takes your hand limply into his. “Xavier,” he says, leaning down to give a small peck onto your gloved knuckles.

“Classy,” you whisper while retrieving your hand, Xavier returns his focus to the road. Part of you is kicking yourself for even wearing the gloves and missing out on the feel of his soft lips against your skin. Dammit, why did Madonna have to make them so fashionable?

You itch to cross your legs in your seat, but knowing that would expose Xavier to what’s underneath your dress, instead you opt to just sit on them. Would it be so bad to expose myself to him? “Xavier,” you say his name to fill up the conversational lull. “Xavier, Xavier, Xavier,” you singsong. “Why did you stop to pick me up? Pick up a lot of hitchhikers?” you keep your eyes glued on him and lean your head back on the seat to get comfortable. His van does have a very homey feel.

“No, you’re my first,” he responds.

You dramatize a fake gasp, placing a hand on your chest. “Little old me? Why am I so lucky?” you press.

“Well, the sun’s setting, you’re in the middle of the woods and you’re a girl. Not to mention the lunatic Night Stalker going around the area, guess I was feeling a bit generous,” he smiles. You begin nodding your head, satisfied with his answer, when he cuts you short. “Or,” he adds, “maybe I just thought you were one, very foxy chick.” You feel your heart flutter and cheeks burn hot; you want to fan yourself like they do in movies. “Either way, I still picked you up, didn’t I?” He asks, cocking a brow.

“Oh yes sir, indeed,” you smirk with a slight shake to your head.

The woods have disappeared behind you two and in no time, you’ve reached Xavier’s destination on Oasis street. He parks his car on the side of the road and takes the keys out of the ignition, finally turning in his seat to face you like you’ve done during the whole ride. The sexual tension is beginning to become an insufferable elephant in the room. “Where you heading from here?” he asks.

You shrug your shoulders. “Don’t know, maybe crash at one of those twenty-four-hour diners until they kick me out,” you say with a slight chuckle, recalling how many times that’s happened to you before. “Just gotta get out of this place, y’know.”

He tilts his head up. “Running from something?” he speculates.

“Aren’t we all?” you roll your eyes with a slight nod.

He grins, “You can say that again.”

You take one long look at him before letting out a bitter sigh. “Goddamn it, I guess I should bounce,” you say with a frown. You reach into the back of his van to get your backpack, making sure to spend extra long bending over in your short dress. You lean onto his seat, feeling your ass press up against his arm and can only pray he’s getting a good look at it.

You eventually recover your bag from the back and sit down, body twisted towards Xavier. You prolong the inevitable, not wanting to leave his van, not wanting to leave him. There’s something about this stranger that excites you, that makes you thirst for more of him. You can’t explain it, there’s just an overwhelming attraction.

You open the door to leave his van, sliding out when he grabs your wrist. “Wait,” he protests. You stand on the step to the passenger’s seat. “Ehm,” the words get choked at the back of his throat. “I’m not in a rush, you can stay with me for a while and chat,” he suggests. “Only if you want to, obviously. You can leave too if you want, but… I think you’re a pretty cool chick.”

You purse your lips to hide a smile. “Thought I was a foxy chick,” you joke, adjusting the backpack that keeps slipping down your shoulders.

“Oh yeah,” he lifts his brows, “mighty foxy.” He nods his head, half-lidded eyes ogling you with a wide smile spread across his gorgeous face, you can’t resist him. You climb back into his van and shut the door.

You settle into the chair and he pulls out a box of cassettes from under the driver’s seat, fishing through them to find a keeper. You dig through your backpack and pull out a cherry lollipop, his eyes squinting in confusion as you unravel the plastic. “Don’t give me that look, I feel myself about to crash,” you explain yourself.

“No judgement here,” he replies, fingering through his cassettes.

You nurse your lollipop, peering into his box to find any recognizable artists, but they’re mostly mixtapes. You pluck out a black tape marked ‘Purple Rain’, the newest Prince album. “Didn’t this movie just come out?” you slur your words, lollipop sitting passively against your cheek.

He glances up. “Yes, but the album came out a while ago,” he explains, still pawing through his collection.

“Well, I haven’t heard it yet,” you shrug and shove it into the cassette player. The machine takes a moment to read the tape.

“Songs are a bit wonky and out of order, I recorded it from my friend’s album,” he confesses.

The album starts playing with a funky pop beat. “See, it’s working. Now, put that away,” you order, grabbing the box from him. “Let’s talk.”

You throw his box into the back of his van and spin towards him again. He looks up for a moment, seemingly in thought, then back at you. His enchanting light eyes capturing you from the lightening fast contact. “W-what are you running away from?” he asks with a moment of hesitation.

You take the lollipop out of your mouth. “Wow, already with the hard-hitting questions,” you tease. He stares at you, but you can’t bring yourself to meet the bright blue that sweeps you off your feet. Instead, looking at your hands and cleaning under your nails. “I guess just a bad living situation. Been house-hopping for as long as I can remember, but I basically just live out on the road now,” you meet his eyes for a second, only to embarrassedly look away.

“I get it,” he nods.

You finally look at him, sort of in disbelief. Usually the people who drive you places always lecture you about making better life decisions, finding a job, pursuing school, yatta, yatta, yatta. ‘The whole world is at your fingertips’ spiel. It takes you by surprise that he understands. “You do?”

“Yeah,” he breaks eye contact, his thumb ghosting his full bottom lip. “I was in a tough spot not long ago. We’ve grown up in the prime time of being doped up drug peddlers and I was dumb enough to fall into that bullshit. And I’m talking about the hard stuff, not like M.J. or cocaine.” I don’t do many drugs, maybe a bit of weed here and there, but I thought cocaine was a hard drug. “But,” he breaks your inner monologue, “the strongest people always go through the toughest shit.”

“Cheers to that,” you smile and cheers the air with your lollipop, penetrating the sticky candy between Xavier’s lips.  He accepts the intrusion gracefully, keeping the sweet, ravished ball of cherry between his lips. “Any summer plans?” you ask.

He takes the candy out of his mouth, the crimson orb glossing over his perfectly plump lips. “Nothing much, just teaching more classes. Got this gnarly gig up at some camp in a few weeks, should be fun,” he answers.

“I don’t know of any camps around here. Which one?” you ask, half paying attention and half peering onto the road.

“Camp Redwood.” Your head snaps back to look at him and you instinctively slap his arm in hopes it’ll get rid of the idiot in him. “What?” he shrugs.

“What’s your damage, dude?” you gasp with a facetious smirk. “Are you honestly telling me that they reopened Camp fucking Deadwood and you’re stupid enough to go work there? Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Why? What happened there?” he asks, eyebrows knit in confusion.

You sigh, you’ve been on the road for so long and even you’re more up to date on the folklore of Camp Redwood. “There was a huge massacre there. Every single person ended up dead, stabbed to bits, and all of them had one ear missing. It was a psycho killer they called Mr. Jingles because his only giveaway was the sound his keys made,” you pause to imitate the sound of keys jingling, “ching cling cling, right before he slashed them to bits!”

He smiles and squints at you, taking a moment to absorb your story. “Not even! You kind of had me until you oversold it with the keys thing,” he exclaims, waving the lollipop around as he speaks.

“Xavier, I shit you not, that actually happened,” you explain, leaning closer to him. “And the worst part is that Mr. Jingles is still alive today. Probably waiting for the day that that fucking camp reopens to escape the loony bin and do it all over again,” you make your voice low to freak him out.

He scoffs. “So what? I’m not afraid of some drip named Mr. Jingles. If anything, he should be the one scared of me.”

You laugh a little too hysterically at his comment. “Mhm, yeah right,” you mock. “He’d take one look at your George Michael lookin’ ass and run in the opposite direction,” you deliver sardonically. You fetch your lollipop and slump back into your seat, turning the dial up on the radio. A song with a raunchy beat starts up and both you and Xavier exchange a glance. “What song is this?” you ask, puckering your lips against the lollipop.

He clears his throat, “S’called Darling Nikki.”

“Mmm,” you lean back in your seat, but keep your eyes locked on him. “It’s pretty sexy.”

He nods. “It is.”

His eyes meet yours, pink tongue running over his bottom lip. You shove the candy into your mouth, sucking on the sweet taste of artificial cherry. The song puts you in the mood. Not that you weren’t already in the mood, but it offers the perfect opportunity to stop beating around the bush.

You close your eyes and tilt your head back, bobbing on the lollipop in your mouth until the savory ball hits the back of your throat. Gagging, you pull it out of your mouth slowly, opening your eyes and giving Xavier a knowing look.

He slowly exhales watching you, now leaning against his seat and lightly covering the bottom of his face with one large, veined hand. “Holy shit,” you hear him breathe.

The lollipop clings to your lips before bursting out, keeping a connection through a filthy pink string of saliva. It detaches and smacks against your chin. You keep your eyes peeled on Xavier and he studies your mouth. You slap the candy against your sodden tongue and slurp up the mess you made, keeping the lollipop pressed against your lips. “You’re a nasty girl, aren’t you?” he whispers, white teeth tugging slightly at his lip. Fuck.

“You want to see something nasty?” you ask, leaning the passenger’s seat back in preparation. “I’ll show you something nasty.”

You suck on the lollipop one more time, slobbering on it just before it’s completely drenched in your saliva. Leaning back on the seat, you hike up your short dress and expose your favourite skimpy panties. After building up so much tension between the two of you, your pussy is already wet and craving the touch of his big hands.

You rub your clit in circles before pulling the fabric to the side. Xavier’s eyes watch every movement as you trail the drenched lollipop down your body, stopping at your pussy. You run the cherry-flavoured orb down your folds and press it against your tight hole. You apply pressure until it penetrates and let out a soft moan. Recalling how long and fat Xavier’s cock was in his dirty movie, you can’t imagine how it would ever fit inside of you.

You shove the lollipop further into yourself, trying to stretch yourself out a little bit in readiness for Xavier. Wiggling the stick around inside yourself and pushing it to the point of nearly disappearing inside your hole. You shimmy it some more before dragging it out against the resistance of your retentive walls. Reinserting the candy into your mouth and getting a saltier flavour this time.

Xavier shifts around in his seat, erection booming in his tight pants. A palm over his crotch for readjustment, he leans closer to you. You can feel the warmth of his body, it makes you tingle. “I find it rude not to share,” he finally speaks.

You take the lollipop out of your mouth and veer yourself towards Xavier, setting a small kiss on his lips. He puts a hand on your cheek, guiding more of your kisses towards him, while the other hand crawls down your body. His hand stops on your thigh and you feel a thousand goosebumps erupt on that leg, a shiver running through your veins.

His lips don’t part from yours, fusing with your face and sucking ever so gently on your lips. He combs his hand towards your pussy, fingertips grazing your thighs as he inches to the throbbing in your clit. You bring the candy back down to your folds, but he takes it from you, insistent on that whole ‘sharing’ rule.

Xavier leaves your lips for a moment to spit down onto your wet cunt, rubbing the candy against your slit before pushing into your hole. Once again, it demands a meager moan out of you, this time you moan onto Xavier’s lips. “That’s right, moan for me, baby. Moan for daddy.” You summon more moans as he fucks the lollipop into you, playing them up to turn him on even more.

You gnaw on your lip and look at Xavier, light sobs still faintly spilling from the back of your throat. You must seem irresistible to him because he mashes his lips into yours and leaves your pussy to place both hands on your face, pulling you closer to him. You pull out the candy he left inside of you and detach from his kiss to pop it into his mouth.

Xavier grabs both of your wrists and slips into the back of his van, bringing you along with him. He sucks all your juices off of the lollipop before spitting it out onto the floor. As he takes a seat in the back, you sit next to him, resting both of your legs on his thighs as you two join at the lips once again. His hands brush up and down your legs, feeling the rapid growth of goosebumps with each swipe.

The kiss intensifies, tongues colliding and lips smacking. You pull at his tank top as if silently begging him to take it off. A new song begins and he moans against your lips, pulling away eagerly and leaving you lovestruck, leaning in an awkward position and trying to reorient yourself. He slides away from you and pulls his top off over his head, then begins undressing you as well, pulling for your dress to come off. You lay onto your back and shimmy your dress off, still wearing a bra and panties set. In a matter of seconds, you’re skin to skin and Xavier is on top of you, teasing you with soft kisses. His lips pulling away to mouth the lyrics: “Baby, baby, baby. What’s it gonna be? Baby, baby, baby. Is it him or is it me?”

You bring him back, kissing the sweet cherry off of his lips. His hands rough up your body, grabbing a hold of every bit of you like he hasn’t touched anybody in years. One hand squeezing your hip while the other finds your cunt to rub back and forth on your swollen clit. When you push back from his kiss, pardoning a loud groan, he kisses your neck. He savours you, handles you like a prize possession, it makes you feel warm.

You palm the bulge in his briefs, feeling him grow and heat up under your touch. His breath catches and he jerks his waist away from you. You pause your kiss to shoot him a flustered grimace. “I want this to be about you, baby, not me,” he explains, before giving one more kiss on your lips. Then one on your neck, chest, belly, down to your pelvis. You let out a broken breath when he kisses right above the line of your panties. He slides them down your legs and taunts your aching clit with his delicate breath; appointing extra sloppy kisses on your thighs as he works his way to the main dish. He looks up at you, baby blue eyes unabashedly beaming with excitement before diving into your candied cunt.

You throw your head back as he begins licking you up and pushing your legs further apart. The pleasure so built and intense that you feel it hit the moment he lays his tongue flat onto your dripping core. You feel your muscles quivering under his lick, under his touch, and your body burns with desire. One hand lays limp on your leg while the other continues pulsing your clit, his tongue shoves its way down your gaping hole.

You reach down to grab onto him, grab onto something, anything. He holds up his hand and you lace your fingers with his, squeezing at each undeniable moment of pleasure. You scrunch up your feet as he quickens the pacing over your clit, then slowing it down. He plays your pussy like a gifted musician, speeding up and slowing down just when you need him to. “Please fuck me,” you beg, the words pouring out on their own, “Xavier, I want you inside of me.”

He stops gluttonously licking up your cunt to look up at you for confirmation on your words. “Y’sure?” he questions, making sure there are no misconceptions.

You prop yourself on your elbows, raking a hand through his perfectly gelled, thick head of hair. “Unless you’d like to stay down there, daddy,” you say, squeezing him between your thighs slightly on the pet name.

“Baby, I can stay down here forever,” he lays his head on your leg and you sit up, pulling him to meet your lips. His kiss makes the world feel dreamlike, so tantalizing and hypnogogic that you swear you’re tripping on acid when he touches you.

He gives an unexpected slap to your raw cunt and you jump, unable to hold back a short peep hiccupped into Xavier’s mouth. He smiles. “I love making my kitten purr,” he whispers into your lips, slapping you once again and you chirp another calculable yelp.

Xavier climbs on top of you with his lips pressed passionately against yours, fighting for dominance. His long fingers grip the back of your neck while his thumbs massage the curve of your jaw reverently. His big hands soon venturing to other parts of your body, running down your back and promptly unhooking your bra like a burden that could no longer be adjourned. The fabric falls artlessly and Xavier paws at your breasts before he can even see them. Still locked on your lips, he circles a finger around your nipple, motivating them to get hard sooner than you’d expected. Nipping at the tiny buds, he leaves your lips to suckle them; running his tongue against your areola and giving strong sucks. You appreciate the moment so much, watching Xavier suck on your tits like his life depended on it, that you completely forgot you were in his van.

You reach down to his crotch and he lets you this time. Rubbing his long cock in his briefs, feeling how rock-hard he is turns you on even more. A shudder rumbles through your body and you take his dick out. It’s already ready for you, long and thick, harder than ever. He stops worshipping your tits to kiss you again, this time lightly pushing you down so you lay in the backseat of his van.

He stands over you, holding his cock and spitting onto it to lube it up for you. He rubs his saliva onto the head and up and down the shaft before resting it on your hole. You prop yourself up to watch it go in, feeling your heartbeat quicken with each tiny amount of pressure he puts. “Are you ready for it?” he asks, smearing the head into your wet folds.

“Mmm,” you moan, just feeling his cock against you is enough to send you to euphoria. “Yes, daddy.” He slowly starts pushing himself into you, stretching you out so much that all you can do is stifle a moan. Your nails dig into his seats, no doubt leaving some kind of mark or even some polish flakes. “Slow, slow, slow,” you plead through gritted teeth.

He accommodates and moves into you at a snail’s pace, stopping every so often when he thinks he’s hurt you. Once he’s half in, he starts pumping in and out, stuffing you up with his chunky length. “Oh my,” is all you can contrive through deep breaths.

He sees how unravelled you’ve become and leans down so you could rest your head on his shoulder. “Hold onto me,” he requests. You follow orders, grabbing onto his back and guiltily digging your nails into him with every thrust. “Let me know if I’m hurting you,” he whispers into your ear.

The rational part of your brain has already called quits on taking his dick, but you’re too charmed by Xavier to tell him to stop. Of course there’s the pain, but his cock is so deep and so big that it vellicates a sensitive area inside your pussy that you’ve never felt before. Each plunge poking at it slightly and stimulating it just enough to keep you from surrendering to his length. You’ve explored your body enough to find your g-spot, but he tickles an area that’s causing you to completely shatter. He pumps again and you feel yourself loosening up to him, although that doesn’t stop your nails from clawing up his back.

All the pain you’ve felt is absorbed into overwhelming thrill. You sit up even more now and watch his cock pump into you, your pussy accepting more of him with each thrust. He keeps hitting that spot in you and your whole body tenses up with it. You look at him, trying to find his eyes, but he’s too lost in your pussy to meet yours. What kind of witchcraft is he doing to make me feel this way?

His hands, resting on your lower back, scooch you closer to him. He doesn’t even have to move much for the both of you to feel elated, just a slight wiggle is enough for you to feel everything. You sit up on his thighs and grind your hips against him. “Your pussy,” he whispers between breaths, “so fucking good, kitten.”

Your cunt writhes with each little movement, you can feel yourself dripping onto him. “Ugh’m God!” you throw away your integrity and scream. “Jesus Xavier, oh my…” you trail off, rolling your eyes back and feeling him hit that sensitive spot again. Your tendons tightening, teeth grinding, and eyes shutting with every movement.  

You lean your chin on his head, still slightly rocking your hips, but unable to bring yourself to complete the motion from crushing alleviation. His forehead is perched on your shoulder as he tries shimmying around inside your pussy. He’s too far gone to form a sentence, too. He holds onto your back, rests his head on your shoulder and breathes rapidly onto your chest. His eyelashes give your collarbones light butterfly kisses while he blinks himself back into reality.

The song is at its climax when you take the initiative to try to finish, unsure if you can even bring yourself to conclude this little affair. You start grinding harder against him, both of you undoubtedly withholding groans to save face. You rock yourself on him harder and he finally allows himself to make eye contact with you again. A pleading look in his pool-of-blue eyes already tell you everything you need to know without saying a single word.

You fuck him as hard as you can burying your head into the crook of his neck. You take in the smell of his cologne, now mixed with sweat. It smells so good. He contributes by gyrating himself inside of you.

“Fuck!” the word weeps out without your consent. You feel yourself unwinding, again you feel it coming with each thrust, the shattering. “Oh, my fuck! Daddy, your cock is so f-fuck!” you’re crying, jumping on his rock-hard dick.

“Shit,” he seethes under you, grabbing your hips and guiding them into his cock. “You fuck me so good, baby girl,” he groans.

You jump on him, his dick so deep you think it’ll push on your belly. “Son of a- huh,” you breathe, feeling yourself starting to come. You keep beating up that tender spot deep in your cavity, providing it all the love it was once deprived and smacking it with each stimulating bounce on his cock. “Yesyesyesyes,” you don’t take a breath, “ooh there.” You keep pummelling him into you, Xavier is close too. “Right. Fucking. There,” you breathe between each jump.

You can’t get any words out when orgasm engulfs you. You stand up to prudently pull his length out of your clingy lips, giving your clit a rub before soaking his cock in your juices. “Shiiiiit,” you moan, squirting a clear liquid out of your hole and all over him, all over his van.

“Damn, baby,” he utters. You feel a single tear drop escape your eye and swat it away before he can see. Without a word, you insert him back into your, now soaked, hole; not leaving until you’ve made him come as hard as you did. You slide him back inside of you, his length hitting you all at once again. It seems to hit him hard too, because his face knots the deeper you insert him. “Fucking tight,” he sighs.

He pushes you to lay back again and starts hammering himself into you. You moan with his harder thrusts, feeling him fill you up makes you fall apart; your whole body feels weak. He can’t control himself, contorted moans escape from deep in his throat. “Where do you want daddy’s come?” he asks, trying to hold himself together, but fails miserably.

“Right in my dirty mouth,” you reply, licking up your bottom lip.

He rolls his eyes back, “Oh, fuck you,” he says with a slight laugh. His smile immediately dissipating to a twisted expression. You feel him coming to release, his grip on your arm gets tighter and he pounds harder into your pussy. He pulls himself out of you and jerks his long length above your face. You obediently open your mouth and lay your tongue flat for him to use up.

He takes a second, zealously jerking himself over you, until he empties his seed onto your tongue. You feel the warm liquid hit your tongue and immediately swallow it down for him. Pressing your lips to the tip of his cock, giving a suck to clean him up and a small kiss on the tip.

He breaths out an exasperated sigh and limply lays down on top of you. “Get off,” you giggle, “you’re crushing me.” He rolls onto his side beside you and you roll onto yours so you’re facing him. He holds out his hand, wiggling his fingers with a small frown. You grab his hand and band your fingers together, he smiles when you accept his invitation. A moment of silence is shared between the two of you, not awkward, just comfortable.

“You know you’re the only one,” he says, a slight crack in his voice. You lift an eyebrow in response. He looks down at the hand you’re holding onto, “Everybody that knows about that tape doesn’t believe me. They think I’m gay or… they just cast me out for even doing it in the first place,” he opens up, caressing your knuckle with his constricted thumb. You stay silent, letting him get it off his chest and studying the woe that washes over his face. “I don’t know,” he gives his head a slight shake.

“Fuck those people,” you shrug, “you don’t need them anyways.” His pillowy lips twist into a smirk. You use your free arm to prop up your head. “Besides,” you continue, “they don’t know what they’re missing. You snooze, you lose, right?”

He smiles. “I like you, y/n,” he sighs. “I’m not letting you slip through the cracks.”

You unbind your hands to move a piece of hair that was stuck to his forehead. “Don’t worry about me leaving, I have no where to go. I’m all yours, baby,” you say with a jokey tone, but you hope he takes you seriously. He’s usually easy to read, like an open book, but when his face turns neutral it’s agonizing to imagine what’s going on in that pretty head.

“So… you want to meet my friends?” he asks, breaking the silence.

You cock your head to the side. “Huh?”

“Come to Camp Redwood with me?”

~~~~

smallest fucking taglist:

@codyswhore @odongreentea @liliesandforgetmenots @avesatanormalpeoplescareme

[markiafc]

so, a thought about how the star wars fandom tackles sw & buddhism.

people love making meta on this with zero focalization, which results in meta that’s shallow, insubstantial, and unproductive.

buddhism is an ancient giant of a religion, it’s massive and old and incredibly diverse. there are two (or three, or four, depending who you ask) main branches of buddhism, hundreds of sects under each, numbers of subsects under said sects. then throw in the many buddhist movements throughout history, and we get an extraordinary amount of buddhist schools. naturally, their beliefs and practices would be distinct to one another, fusing with the region’s pre-existing ideologies, developing to accommodate their own societal and cultural matters, changing across long histories as the locals undergo their own struggles. 

if meta is to be made, isn’t it natural that awareness should be given to what the term ‘buddhism’ even means in your meta?

like, star wars canon itself is pretty ambiguous on this too. it’s true. there’s no official mention detailing where and what was borrowed over. but we do know star wars was inspired off japanese films featuring samurai, so there’s reason to believe sw canon works off bushido / 武士道, which also indicates zen buddhism. which also also indicates mahayana buddhism / 大乘. (it also also also indicates daoism, confucianism and more but we’re only talking about buddhism here.) and there. that’s a designated playing field with infinite potential. 

you don’t need to be hyper-specific. you can, of course, generalize things. but if your sources are cursory, then meaningful insight is a pipe dream.

eg. let’s talk about 法印 / dharmamudra / dharma seals

from this sole concept of dharma seals, we have:

三法印 / the three dharma seals

derived from the text:《大智度论》/  the treatise on the great perfection of wisdom

the three seals being:

诸行无常

“all 行 / sankhara / formations are impermanent”

诸法无我

“all 法 / dharma / buddhist ways have no self”

涅槃寂静

“nirvana is calm / quiet / peace”

三法印 / the three marks of existence

tmk this is the non-mahayana version

derived from a different text + is grounded in a different buddhist school of thought (possibly theravada...?)

lies outside of my area of expertise orz

so taken from the wiki, it states

sabbe saṅkhārā aniccā

"all saṅkhāras (conditioned things) are impermanent”

sabbe saṅkhārā dukkhā

"all saṅkhāras are unsatisfactory”

sabbe dhammā anattā

"all dharmas (conditioned or unconditioned things) are not self"

四法印 / the four dharma seals

is basically a re-interpretation slash alternative of 三法印 / the three dharma seals where a fourth seal is added

derived from the text:《增一阿含经》卷18 / ekottaragama sutra, section 18

the quote: “ 一��诸行无常，是谓初法本末，如来之所说；一切诸行苦，是谓第二法本末，如来之所说；一切诸行无我，是谓第三法本末，如来之所说；涅槃为永寂，是谓第四法本末，如来之所说。是谓，诸贤，四法本末，如来之所说“

and for short:

一切行无常

“every 行 / sankhara / formations is impermanent”

一切行苦

“every 行 / sankhara / formations is suffering”

一切法无我

“every 法 / dharma / buddhist way has no self”

涅槃寂静

“nirvana is to surpass / go beyond everything”

五法印 / the five dharma seals

this is also outside of my expertise, there’s only a handful things i know about it but nothing in depth

is another re-interpretation slash alternative of 四法印 / the four dharma seals where a fifth seal is added

it tacks on the idea of emptiness, that gets expounded in the《维摩诘所说经》/  vimalakirtinirdesa sutra

the five seals being:

诸行无常

“all 行 / sankhara / formations are impermanent”

诸法无我

“all 法 / dharma / buddhist ways have no self”

色即是空

“the 色 / rupa / physical / external / tangible is empty”

寂静涅盘

“nirvana is calm / quiet / peace”

真空妙有

it’s something along the lines of  “true emptiness is...” (?)

another thing i’m not familiar with so i’m unable to translate

this is not an exhaustive or educational list on 法印 / dharmamudra / dharma seals, of course. but from this alone, it’s evident there are a number of versions for just this (1) concept. the same seal with the exact same phrasing of “涅槃寂静” can be understood as “nirvana is calm / quiet / peace” or “nirvana is to surpass / go beyond everything”. all versions of the dharma seals share similar and repeated ideas, such as “诸行无常; all 行 / sankhara / formations are impermanent”, but that does not make all these versions the same. even the two different forms of 三法印 / the three dharma seals mentioned share very similar ideas and the exact same title, but they still differ greatly depending on the branches of buddhism it exists under. 

none of them listed can be mistaken for the other. they each came about and continue to exist for their own intents and purposes, and are used in practice in various ways too. this is in spite of how similar the lines stated may seem, repeated or no.

if you want to comment or dig into anything, you have to be aware of what a dharma seal is and which interpretation of the seals you’re thinking of and why this? there are so many different and nuanced understandings of the dharma seals, why would you look into three dharma seals instead of the five dharma seals? because the five dharma seals re-contextualizes it all with a greater focus on emptiness? now how would that change the lines repeated in both variants? simply picking out what in star wars resembles a dharma seal will bring you nowhere.

a lot of buddhism works this way, where it’s essentially the same thing echoed all over the place. but so much of it is at the same time distinct, and different. because what matters is the interpretations and the applications. the why of why this variant exists, how is it used, what makes it different will be what brings forth insight and meaningful conclusions.

the tens of thousands of meta love throwing around 八正道 / the eightfold path and 四圣谛 / the four noble truths in their observations, while providing a blanket definition, a surface explanation to the vague one-liners. but without a focus and the full context of the concept at hand, it’ll never be anything more than saying x = y. you’ll never be able to go beyond one for one comparisons and parallels. and for an american franchise made by and for americans, a one for one parallel between star wars and actual buddhism simply does. not. exist. the entire resulting meta would be worthless because it is wrong. 

examples of a lack of focalisation leading to meta that says nothing includes this tumblr post and this twitter thread (what’s the point of telling me dooku’s name equates to duhkha that means suffering, it’s an observation that goes nowhere and is unproductive. what is the point.)

examples also include the dharma of star wars by matthew bortolin, where he makes simple comparisons, takes a general buddhist concept and slaps it with a selected aspect of star wars. and then explains how it is the same while giving zero insight to anything star wars or irl buddhism. 

like at one point, he brings up the concept of 蕴 / skandha / aggregates?

Buddhists further subdivide mental elements, bringing the total number of aggregates that comprise a sentient being to five: (1) physical form or body, (2) feeling, (3) perception, (4) mental formations, and (5) consciousness.

and goes down the list to explain each, while using a star wars analogy (which is already demeaning and weird to do, because why would you use an american and appropriating franchise as a case study for anything buddhist, especially so when your purpose is to be a primer for buddhist philosophies first). 

but alongside the concept of 五蕴 / five aggregates, he never makes a peep about 十二处 / twelve ayatana or 十八界 / eighteen dhatavah, which are concepts that come hand in hand with the five aggregates. 

why. just why? when these concepts, in practice and when discussed by actual buddhists, are so tightly woven together, they are a package deal! they literally belong in one big web, as you can see below. 

the five aggregates, inclusive of twelve ayatana, inclusive of eighteen dhatavah. there's so much overlap and interweaving connections. the combination is the full idea, is the full picture, is the complete purpose of 五蕴 / five aggregates concept.

matthew bortolin also has a major issue with terminology.

at many occasions, he straight up uses the phrases & words star wars made up for their fictional universe to explain buddhism. it’s terms lifted right out of the movie lines like yoda’s “fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” and he proceeds to adopt the structure and progression described in that line to teach buddhism as well. or he uses the term “dark side” to explain buddhist concepts of suffering when the “dark side” does not exist in buddhism, it is not a buddhist concept at all. he uses terms a white man made up for his white man movie to directly explain buddhism, a religion that exists in real life. which is very, very, very strange at best. deeply problematic and disgusting ignorance at worst. 

and sometimes he just says things like this:

Buddhist philosophers describe three types of desire that, when grasped or rejected, cause suffering. The three types are desire for things that are pleasant to experience, desire for something to not be the way it is, and the desire to have more or to be more.

which includes no terminology, as far as i can tell. i have no idea what he’s talking about. is he referring to the three types of 贪爱 / tanha / desire? is he talking about the 三毒 / the three poisons? i will never know. what he references is too vague, too general, too meaningless.

but tying this back to the original point: he introduces a buddhism that has no focalisation, and no awareness for the thousands of different interpretations.

matthew himself is a part of 十四項正念修習 / thich nhat hanh’s order of interbeing, a buddhist school under 禅宗 / zen buddhism. and they have their own main beliefs and concepts called the fourteen mindfulness trainings. but funnily enough, these fourteen ideals never make an appearance in his book. 

what does make it into the book are generic buddhist terms like nirvana, dharma, karma, samsara. the sanskrit terms suggesting he’s either referring to buddhism in its most broad and non-specific form, or theravada canon (whereas using the chinese terms would have signaled to me straight away that he’s tackling mahayana buddhism). 

he describes mindfulness and meditation, but that is yet again an all-inclusive buddhist trait. it indicates nothing. he also goes on to mention 八正道 / the eightfold path and 四圣谛 / the four noble truths, as well as 四正勤 / four right exertions, and gives a general textbook explanation with no nuance or meaningful wisdom. he does mention 二谛 / the two truths which was the only thing that was recognizably mahayana focused, but even then it went nowhere.

the use of sanskrit terms, plus the mess of vague buddhist concepts and explanations and the sudden (1) mention of a mahayana concept is... confusing. the buddhism he presents is scattered all over the place. it jumps from one big umbrella to another. i have no idea if he’s aware that clear distinctions exist within buddhism. it’s as if anything goes as long as it’s under the universal label of buddhism. which is, of course, exactly the case. the answer to ‘why this?’ is simply because it is buddhist.

he presents an incredibly blurred image where nothing substantial can be made out. though nothing he says in his book is wrong (other than the afterword where he proceeds to rationalise how a strictly non-violent religion like buddhism can sometimes allow murder and violence, yes, buddhists can have a little murder if they think it’s right, as a treat), nothing about it is right either. there’s simply no substance to it, so it falls in the grey area where no judgement can be placed upon it. nothing can be said about it, it sparks no discussion. it is very simply, utterly nothing.

thanks for nothing, matthew.

and everyone else who has proudly made buddhist & sw meta that serve no other purpose but to stroke your own ego.

[aroacepagans]

How can we, as a community (arospecs and acespecs) heal from this 'discourse' toxic shit? We've finally awknoledged how much it hurt us. ( i don't rmmbr who wrote the post rn but it was about how ppl should stop treating something so harmful as a discussion and everyone started pouring in with their stories). It's like we've all reached that level where we want to talk about it, what it's done to us, but for us, so we can heal- and to talk about how to move forward from here

Cause i gotta tell you, speaking about this feels like inviting 100 aphobes to your yard…but we’ve been silenced and we’re suffering, and we need to find a way to build helpful, vibrant lgbtq/queer communities we feel safe in, and aro/ace communities we feel safe in, online and off. Im not expecting you to answer, but i feel like just posting this and getting it circulating around aspec peeps we could gather ideas? I deleted my blog (it rly got to me) so im sending this to a blog i trust (urs)

This is a very big question and I certainly don’t have all the answers, but if I had to suggest a step by step process it would probably look something like this

Discuss and acknowledge the impact the discourse had on us as a community.

This is already happening to some extent, but as you said, a lot of folks are too scared to bring it up so it’s yet to become a community-wide discussion. My suggestion for handling this is to have these conversations in aspec specific space like Arocalypse and AVEN (and yes I know AVEN has lots of issues, but there isn’t a whole lot of variety when it comes to aspec forums). This would allow people to have these conversations without the anxiety that having them on Tumblr causes.

Look at what the aspec community was like before the discourse.

I was only part of the aspec community for a little less than a year before the discourse started, but I remember that community being incredibly vibrant. Those of us who remember it should talk about what it was like back then and folks who don’t remember it should dig up old blog posts and terminology from that time. The advantage of being a primarily internet based community is that all of our discussions are on record, let’s use that to our advantage. 

Decide what aspects of the old community we would like to bring back into our modern community.    

While the pre-discourse ace community was, in fact, vibrant it was not necessarily ideal. We had plenty of intercommunity issues back then, and while the discourse was destructive, I do think we were actually able to improve on some of these problems in the last few years. The pre-discourse community is a good place to start from, but it shouldn’t be brought back whole sail. 

Figure out what changes and new ideas need to be included in our modern community.

I think one of the biggest impacts of the discourse was that it made it difficult for the aspec community to advance, grow, and improve.  IMO, One of the most important things we can do to recover is to figure out where we want to be as a community and start working towards that goal. 

Encourage aspec community growth both in in-person spaces and on a variety of social media platforms.

One of the reasons our community was so thoroughly torn apart by the discourse is that we were very localized. The aspec community on Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, etc was small to non-existent and a significant amount of aspec community building was relegated to Tumblr, so while the discourse rarely left this website it was still able to decimate our community. Spreading out to other platforms and creating more in-person space will mean that if (gods forbid) this happens again, we will have more resilience. It’s hard to destroy years of community building if the community is spread out. 

I’m sure there are other things I haven’t thought of, but hopefully, this is a good starting point for a discussion.

If people have opinions or other things to add then, please feel free to add on! This is the community discussion that we need to have before we can get to all the other stuff.     

[dehvastation]

The Escape Room Part 1 (With @V_Bloodletter)

V: I was off patrol tonight and doing my diligence behind the wall of monitors. It seemed relatively quiet out. At the moment I hadn’t seen any things that go bump in the night. I was itching to get into something tonight, fuck anything. My boredom was at an all time high and nothing good came from me being inactive. I was randomly searching out areas through the helpful eye of Caldwell electronic eyes. Tapping into the city’s system had been too easy, especially in this day and time. Either way, I had access to everything Caldwell did. My fingers slid over the pad, scrolling through various alley ways. Nothing was out of order, the streets as per usual had your pedestrians that preferred the dark and your drunks stumbling down the sidewalks and of course there was your common back alley fucks going on. Absently I realized I was humming a beat and just when I was trying to figure out exactly what song it was, the phone line to the Brotherhood broke my concentration. Usually I let the Doggen at the Manse filter through the calls but yeah, I needed a distraction so here I was listening to the voice mails. ‘IT WONT STOP...THE FLOOR…….EVERYWHEREEE… PLEASEE HELP US!’ And that was what greeted my extremely fucking sensitive eardrums as soon as the recordings started. I sit up, grabbed the only info that was left behind which was the number, the call was too short for the trace to pick up. But that was cool because in under sixty I had the address where the phone was presently at, pulled up. I might have gotten a little excited when I quickly realized that for some odd as fuck reason I couldn’t bring the location up on my monitors. Now now now, I was just going on about how I had full access into the city street cameras and here I am now, unable to see anything surrounding the address where the phone is. I was on my feet and checking to see who was inhouse and not on patrol and lucky Dehv got the drawl. I shot a text to Mr. Suave “Yo, meet me at the location I’m pinging to your GPS now. V.” I wasted no time and gearing up and dematting.

Dehv: ~ I’d just settled in for the day when the door sounded like it was about to be broken down. The knocking was so loud that the fists would happily come through the wood without much persuasion. Qhuinn and I had frozen in the bed, hardly daring to breath in case they heard us. Not that it changed anything. Qhuinn had been marched off to the Mansion with barely a couple of hours until sunrise and that had left me at a loose end. I demated home and crashed around the place before my phone peeped. I felt my heart jump as I rushed to dig it out of my pocket on the hopes that it was Qhuinn. I felt disappointment flash through me when I saw it wasn’t Qhuinn, but my smile was still huge when I saw that it was Vishous. Though it quickly turned to a frown when I realised that he wanted me to meet him somewhere asap. Was he insane? It was almost daylight outside. We’d barely make it there and back before we were scrabbling to try and find shelter away from the death rays. I arched a brow and contemplated for about half a minute before shooting back a thumbs up. I quickly changed into a pair of jeans, proper boots and a heavy jumper over a lighter long sleeved tee. I shoved phone and keys into my pocket and then checked my phone, frowning even harder when I saw that it appeared to be in the middle of an industrial estate of some kind. What the actual hell was V thinking wanting me to meet him out there. I had to hope that he was just picking something up and needed an extra pair of hands. I didn’t mind if he wanted to take me back to the mansion afterwards to wait out the daylight. It meant that I could be there when Qhuinn finally got done with whatever he was needed for, and it meant that I could ensure Vishous was home in one piece while also catching up with the guy. I tried not to go overboard to talk to the Brothers when they were training us. Not that Vishous did, he just lurked now and again. I didn’t want to be different to the other trainees, and being wtih Qhuinn already meant I stood out. But with the amount of time it took to train and learn in the field and sleep around that I barely saw any of them. It would be good to see the male and possibly we could crash with his favourite poison and a good film while the sun did its thing.

Once I was sure that my place was locked up tight, I took a slow breath and dematted to the coordinates that Vishous had given me. I landed in a small enclosed area that was probably once a bus stop across from a run down looking building. I instantly settled my hand against the knife I’d had the foresight to hide under my arm before stepping into the flickering streetlight. “Vishous, you get here yet?” ~

V: While I was waiting for Dehv, I patrolled the area, checking out for any obvious signs of issues. At the present time there wasn’t anything that stood out. Not sure what I expected to find but absolutely nothing at all, was not it. Okay yes I didn’t think whoever was causing the disturbance was going to leave me a bloody trail to the crime scene. Although it would have been mighty helpful if they did, ya know, considering how damn close the rays of sun busting out were. But no such luck was laid at my feet this time. The location had been closed down twelve years ago, since then it had been bought and sold a few times and the newest owners had procured it about five years before. Public records fed me that info but as to the company that was holding the lease on the land now, I came up against walls. I would have delve more in depth but Dehv’s voice cut into my scrolling for info. I stepped out of the shadows, entering the barely illuminated area he was now occupying. “Evening, Dehv. Long story short, a 911 call came into the Brotherhood and I was able to trace the phones location to here.” I blew out a breath and glanced at the concrete structure that definitely had seen its better days before and my shoulders came up in a shrug as I turned my attention back to the male. “Let’s do a clean sweep, retrieve any bodies, alive or dead or remove any threats, whichever the case may be and then get the fuck out of dodge. True?” It my head it sounded like a simple enough job but my gut reaction to the place was not completely on board with that assessment. “Usually with the size of this place, I would say let’s split up and cut the time in half, but yeah this time around let’s stick together and see if anything goes bump in the night.” I moved out of the dim lighting and headed towards the entrance. “It use to be an auto parts factory and then after that it was transformed into a tire treading company and they leased out the upper floors. But that all seized years ago and it’s been abandoned since. Once one business started to close down around here, others followed soon and it seemed it has been deemed the ghost yard of factories.” I stopped at the double door entrance and cast Dehv a rakish smile. “If we find a ghost, I am for fucking real going to figure out how to keep it.” Chuckling low key, I turned back to the task at hand and what do you know, the doors were not even locked. Big surprise, not. “No wondering off, I haven’t had time to go over the blueprints and there is no fucking telling how many reconstructions have been done under each new owner.”

Dehv: ~ I turned at the sound of the voice behind me, my entire body telling me that I should just tell V where to stick it rather than go anywhere close to checking out the place. “That sounds like a solid lead. But I guess if they called and had to hang up fast, that would make sense. Though you’d think we’d see something.” I swept my arms in a circle, gesturing at the area that was quieter than I’d ever heard. I’d been to a lot of places growing up in the human world, and rarely to never was it basically silent. Normally there was birds, wind in trees, the hum of electricity as it moved through the wires. It was basically like a dead spot here. It was not normal and it was giving me the creeps. “You get signal here?” I tapped at my phone and tried to send a message, though nothing happened. I was glad I’d managed to let Qhuinn know that I was with V, and the coordinates he’d given me. Though he’d been stuck with Wrath all day, at least we’d have something to talk about when he got back. We’d started checking in on each other when the shit had hit the fan and we’d been pulled away every night to patrol or train or any other number of things. I liked it, and it made me feel a little safer for when the sun went down. Right now though I knew we only had a matter of time before the sun came up and trapped us inside one of these places.

I followed on after V as he made his way towards what was obviously the main entrance to the huge building that seemed to be shrouded in darkness. Even more so than the rest of the place. I snorted at his instructions and jokes, my lips twitching in amusement. “We see a ghost, you’re welcome to it. I’ll try not to scream like a pansy.” I grinned and pulled a gun out of its little holder at my back, keeping it trained on the floor while I stood behind Vishous, knowing that I wasn’t any good if I was nervous or uncertain. The plan to get in and get out was a good one, and it was something that we needed to do fast, without distractions. I nodded along and then chuckled. “You mean you weren’t 100% prepared when you came here. You’re slacking. If I walk into a room with no exit, I’m going to blame you.” I winked and then nodded towards the doors that separated us from whatever horrors were inside. I swallowed hard and rolled my shoulders. I’d been with the Brotherhood long enough to see my fair share of weird and horrible. I’d fought a few of my own horrors. But this was unknown, something neither one of us were prepared for, and I just had to hope I didn’t embarrass myself and throw up all over another Brothers boots. “Ready when you are. I’ve got your back, and I can follow instructions. Check it out, pull out bodies whether they are dead or alive and then get back to the Mansion before the sun comes up.” I nodded again and stepped in closer, thankful that my eyes weren’t bothered by the dark as the doors opened. It was pitch black inside, no light at all, had I been human I’d have been walking in blind. As it was I could see a wall ahead of me, and a corridor to the right. “Looks like we’ve only got one way in, one way out. Lead the way.” ~

V: I didn’t say anything back to Dehv after we walked inside and saw at first the simple layout. My brows drew down and I scanned the vacant lobby for anything. Not exactly the setup that I expected but that thought lasted about as long as it took to blink. Because with the next breath all hell broke loose and I had no fucking time to react. Doors slammed lock, walls that weren’t there before, were suddenly dropped in place and the corridor vanished with one of those spontaneous walls. My head was spinning in every direction as I heard all the strategic mechanisms clicking into place and then it was total quiet except for the sound of our own breathing. “What the actual fuck.” I had a blade in hand and cautiously approached one of the new walls that was decorated as if we had been yanked right back to the fifties. “We are gonna go with staying extremely in close proximity, Dehv.” I ran my leather covered hand across the hideous mustard yellow wallpaper, seaking out any kind of hidden lever, button or what the fuck ever might send this shit back to where it came from. But nothing, I fingered and rubbed all over that damn wall as if I was going to bend it over and fuck it next. I looked over my shoulder at Dehv. “We might have a small issue here.” That was putting it fucking mildly. It was as if we were in lockdown in one of those cheesy as fuck escape rooms. This shit was done with some severe elaborateness and more importantly, made to lock us in with no obvious way out. “I hope you like figuring puzzles out at a breakneck speed while killing what the fuck ever set this shit up because it looks like we might be a tad fucked.” And then those words were followed up but a stream of curses when I tried to demat and not a fucking thing happened.

Dehv: ~ I followed V as he moved slowly into the space. It wasn’t big, and I instinctively moved towards the one way deeper into the huge building. I’d barely taken more than a couple of steps when the noise rose in the building until even if V had spoken I was unsure I’d even hear it. I stepped backwards to put my back to the wall as I watched and waited for whatever was making the noise to appear. The wall disappearing from behind me made me stagger, and with effort I kept myself on my feet and the gun in my hand. “Fuck it. What is happening?” I spun on the spot and watched as walls appeared that hadn’t been there before, and others disappeared. No longer was there a space with an obvious corridor into the building. We now had a box of a room with apparently no exits. I felt my chest tighten at the thought of being trapped. This really was not the time for a panic attack. I heard V comment about sticking in close proximity, and my body complied with the request before my brain caught up. I moved in to cover as much of the room as I could while Vishous checked out the walls. I blinked slowly, eyes scanning the space, though it was just four walls and not much else. I focused on keeping my breathing even and my thoughts away from the fact we were about to be stuck in a tiny space for all eternity. “Small? Yeah, I would say that was the understatement of the century.” I turned in a small circle, eyes darting up and down as well as along the walls. I watched Vishous work his fingers across the wall in an attempt to find something that might help us. Then I blinked a few times and moved further into the middle of the room, there was something faint on the floor. It was glowing just enough that I could see it, and I was glad that I wasn’t a human in this place, no way would it be visible to them. “I have no experience with puzzles, but I do design for a living, so hopefully I can pick things apart and put them back together. Tad fucked is yet another understatement, Vishous. We have less than an hour until the sun comes up. So we either work to get out in an hour, or we’re going to have to fight to stay IN here for the rest of the day. I’m not sure which is worse.” I tipped my head and walked in a circle around the weird glowing markings on the floor. No matter which way I went, I couldn’t figure out what it was trying to tell me. “Found anything on the wall? This floor things isn’t really telling me much……oh no, wait, it’s maybe an arrow, but some of the paint has worn away completely.” I crouched and ran my fingers along the faint line. “You think that phone call was some poor humans who are stuck in this place, or a way to lure us here?” I followed the weird point of the arrow with my eyes to the wall, then up to the ceiling. Squinting once again at what looked like cut outs in the ceiling. Though it was higher than either one of us could reach or jump to. I couldn’t quite figure out why the lines seemed to line up with the glowing mark on the floor. “We’re completely fucked!” ~

V: “This was definitely a set up. By who is the question, because this is way fucking more elaborate than those pale fuckers get credit for.” My eyes narrowed and I drew in a series of breaths because this lock down thing was a head fuck. I wasn’t going to voice that out loud. The facts of the matter, was any kind of confinement was not going to go easy on me. If it was just me here, I’d burn this fucker down around me and take my chances on if I made it out or not. But it wasn’t just me, I had actually for once followed Wrath’s laws about doubly up on patrols or any Brotherhood business. I’ll blame the King for this shit. I blew out a breath and went about searching for any damn thing. I was coming up empty handed. No matter where I looked, felt or checked out, not a fucking thing. And then luck shined down on us, or as the case was, it shined up from a place in the false floor that Dehv found. I followed his line of site up the wall and onto the ceiling where markings are etched in place. “Alright, Dehv…” My face already had a smirk on it even before I spoke. “I’ll hoist you up and you see what those marks do or don’t do.” I closed the distance between us, which in this enclosed space it didn’t take long before I was right in front of the male and directly under the markings. My diamond eyes bore into Dehv’s and my tone was dry as fuck. “After this night, no talks of me giving you a piggyback ride. True.” I ended that with a teasing smirk before I turned around and crouched down.

Dehv: ~ I nodded at Vishous’ assessment. It would appear that the phone call was a way to lure us here, but was the person in charge of this weird ass game human or vampire? If they were vampire, why were they targeting the brotherhood, without picking a specific target. If it was human, was it by chance they got us, or was it someone who knew our secret and was deliberately playing with us? I checked my watch and saw that we’d been wandering around and looking for clues for nearly 45 minutes. We were not getting out of here before the sun came up. I opened my mouth to tell Vishous that when he came up beside me. Those intelligent eyes of his looking over the weird shape on the ceiling, and I hoped like hell he’d see something I couldn’t. The smirk didn’t bode well, and I felt my jaw fall open when he suggested that I get up on his back. Two 6 and a half foot plus males doing piggy back rides was not exactly how I’d seen my day going. But I’d learned a lot when I was training, and the first thing was that usually you had to think outside of the box if you wanted to get anywhere. I turned to look at the Brother beside me and met his gaze, nodding grimly as I tried not to laugh at the entire prospect. “No talks at all, unless of course it’s to tease you where you can’t kill me.” I winked, trying to lighten the mood before I moved around behind Vishous. “I am not sure I’ve ever done this before, so apologies if there’s a bit of a false start.” I cleared my throat and then placed both hands on Vishous’ shoulders, using them as a spring board to try and jump high enough to get my legs wrapped around his waist. At least then he could hold my feet and help me get higher if I needed to. The additional height gave me enough leverage to feel across the ceiling and poke gingerly at the little shapes in the blacked out surface. I pressed at one, and felt it give under the pressure, “They seem to open, though I’ve no idea why. Hold on.” I took a slow breath, willing my heart rate to go down as I talked myself into poking my fingers into the space without knowing what was beyond the little flap of metal. “If they take my fingers, I’m blaming you.” I snorted and looked down briefly to the male who was taking all my weight and holding me steady before shoving my fingers past the barrier and into the ceiling. I felt around for a minute, hitting what felt like a little box with a hole in the top. I gently poked until I felt the box tip. I indistinctly tried to stop it, jerking Vishous below me as I did. “Shit, sorry. Hang on.” I felt something under the bottom of the box and I pressed my finger to it, pain instantly shooting through the nerves with enough force to make me pull my hand back. My body jerked and I stuck my finger in my mouth to stem the flow, numbing around the digit “Feels like boxes with gems under them. The gems fit in the holes and then the boxes go upside down to connect the whole thing. All without being able to see a fucking thing. The little stone thingies are sharp and I am not entirely sure I won’t lose a finger doing this. If you want a break, warn me before you drop me so I don’t leave a finger behind.” I snorted and shook out my hand before sticking it back through the ceiling to try and work the little, stupid fucking puzzle out. ~

V: All I could say is I was glad as fuck that noone was around to see this display. I mean here we were, warriors giving piggyback rides. After this night I will just black this shit out of my mind and pretend it never happened. The problem with that was, I needed to make sure there was an ‘After tonight’. It was clear as fuck that whoever arranged this elaborate setup, had at least some brain cells. So far, I was slightly impressed. I mean yes, Dehv and I were the rats inside of this maze but still, it was hard not to give props where props were due. Even if the detailed trap was mostly devised to end our lives. I was a sick bastard like. I huffed out a breath and snorted when Dehv situated himself on my back and I locked my arms around his legs and glanced up periodically to see how things were progressing. Every minute felt like an hour. I was keeping the rage locked down. The one thing that would always fuck me up is having my freedom taking away, in any form, bondage or that of a prison. I blew out another breath, focused my diamond eyes on the wall before me, using it as a focal point. I was already devising ways to tear our captors apart in my mind. Taking my time seemed like a good a place to start as any. As a matter a fact, I think I will draw it out for however long it takes Dehv and I to get our asses out of this fucked up place. I just about missed what all he was saying as I was too caught up within my own head devising death techniques. “I’m used to taking the blame. Just get that fucker to open because it is not that noticeable yet but…” The ground shifted only slightly when Dehv yanked his hand free and I inhaled the slight scent of his punctured finger. I was pretty fucking positive that if he didn’t get that fucking puzzel figured out within minutes if not seconds, that the floor would do a lot more than barely shift. “I don’t want any kind of break. I’m pretty sure if you don’t get that unlatched up there, this ground is going to open up and swallow us whole...Literally. No pressure though man.” I looked up at the large as fuck male attached to my back and gave a smirk.

Dehv: ~ I could feel the blood slowly dripping from my fingers as I fiddled around with the tiny boxes. I had to feel for the little gem they hid, then try and figure out which box that went with before slotting into the right groove. Each time I touched the smooth gem thing, it’s sharp edges cut into the pads of my fingertips. I was going as fast as I could. Though Vishous was pretty stoic as males went, when he sounded like he did, I hurried. That smirk was there to reassure, or that is how I was going to take it, and I really didn’t want to go through the damn floor. Each time I tried to lock them in place I’d slip off the wood because of the blood. They never got a chance to heal before another was opened up. They weren’t even big slices, but they strung and hindered how hard I was able to push at each of the little locking mechanisms. I was not at all sure Vishous was going to toss me on my ass at any moment, with each shift causing me to grip a little tighter to the opening in the ceiling, which only meant more of my hands were cut open. I was glad that I was wearing a long sleeved shirt, it meant the blood trickled down to my wrists and then soaked into the material. Saving me from messing up the floor. After what seemed like an age I clicked in the last piece. I signed heavily and then jerked backwards so quickly that I managed to dislodge myself from Vishous and land with a loud thud on the floor. It took me a minute of gasping like a fish out of water to convince my lungs to inflate again, when they did I was up and on my feet. Eyes squinted to dispel the blindness and try and figure out what was happening. After another minute I realised that the windows on the main doors we’d come through had been blacked out, and they were now very much not. Letting in a stream of sunlight that slanted across the room like two death rays. I reached out to check Vishous was still with me, unsteady on my feet as I looked around for the escape. I spun and saw it behind me. “Thank fuck. Keep watching those doors and move with me.” I kept a hand on Vishous’ shoulder as we’d been taught in training, watching where I was going while trusting him to have my back. As I moved into the next room I had to blink slowly to get my eyes to focus again. “Holy shit.” I’d just passed the threshold of the room when I felt something snap against my ankle. I had a split second to tighten my grip on the Brother at my back before I threw myself forward and to the ground. “MOVE”.

I landed with another thump, wincing at the awkward ankle against my already bruised hip. The minute I did, my eyes started stinging again at the sudden brightness. I turned away and waited until the room started to dim again before trying my luck to look back towards the door. A shaft of light shone stark and unyielding across the doorway, which was now also closed. No way were we going back that way. And I had no choice but to slowly sit up and look around the place. The noise from the machines drowned out my thoughts. In any other circumstance I’d be like a kid in a candy store, but instead I just felt dread settle in my gut. “This shit isn’t made for humans is it? We’ve stumbled onto something specifically designed for our kind. Is it just me, or is that worrying?” ~

V: Time went from feeling like each sixty seconds that passed by, felt more like they lasted five minutes or more, to suddenly things were happening way to quick and I barely had time to catch my breath. I had been standing there, trying to keep my feet rooted in place while Dehv worked his magic on the puzzle hidden from sight in the ceiling. Then in the blink of an eye he was dislodged from my back and I was stumbling around, trying not to land on my ass which I was not too successful at. I knew the male had managed to slice himself up pretty good, I could easily smell his lifes blood in the air. But there was absolutely no time to dwell on anything because once the puzzle was solved, all things started to move and re-adjust in the makeshift room. It was pitch black and then there was light but fuckkkkk was it the wrong kind of illumination that we needed right now. My internal clock had already been screaming at me that the big ball of sun in the sky was approaching, so I knew we had missed our window to bail out of here at a decent time. Now the point was to survive this fucked up maze and hunker down until it was safe to travel outside again. I got up off my ass and followed the male out of the first escape room, keeping close as fuck to him but the second I heard that one word shouted from Dehv, I did just as he said. I moved without thinking, nose diving pretty much over his shoulder and eating the ground as I face planted and the once opening was now sealed up as if it had never been there. I rolled over onto my back, taking a moment to take full stock of myself before calling out to the warrior. “Thanks for the heads up, Dehv. Now tell me, what did you break?” I came up on my knees and closed the distance between us. “Yes, you hit that assumption on the fucking nose. This place is evidently designed to take out vamps and not humans.” On the tale end of those words the semi dark space we were in came to life as if someone had flipped a switch on. Lights of all colors flashed on and off, coming from various signs hanging on the walls and that was nothing of all the noises and blaring special effects that was bouncing off of each arcade game and pinball machine. If you were and eighties kid, then this place would be right up your alley, from the pacman game to the hair metal music pinging from the surround sound system setup in the room. “I really fucking hate games.”

Dehv: ~ I blinked again and let my eyes run around the room slowly. It really could have just been picked up and transported from one of those little seaside arcades. It had everything, from the pinball machines to the little air hockey tables and more. They were all crammed in together, and each one seemed to be numbered. I shook out my hands again, happy to see that they weren’t bleeding any more, and that the cuts weren’t as pronounced as they had been. Thank fuck for faster healing. Now if only the blood would work on my damn shoulder and hip I’d be a happy camper. I looked at Vishous, showing him my hands so that he could see I was fine. “Nothing broken, but I landed hard on my shoulder and hip. Nothing a little blood once we’re out of here won’t fix. I can move, so that’s all that we need to be worried about.” I moved to my knees as well and then stood, holding out my palm to help the Brother up if he would allow it. “It is for sure, the sunlight over all the entrances and exists tell that story. I wonder how many have gone through here, and when whoever designed it decided to involve the Brotherhood. Fucking dumb ass move on their part.” I snorted and then winced, “This place has been bleached to within an inch of its life. I’m guessing that means at some point there’s been blood spilt in this room. Watch your back.” I turned in a slow circle, not bothering to look for cameras or wires, I knew that Vishous could do that without thinking, and far more easily than I could do it. Instead I tried to see past the sunlight at the door into the other room. It was impossible though, the shaft of light was concentrated and fucking bright. Instead I moved slowly around the room, fingers drifting over each of the machines without clicking anything. The metal music that was blaring was really starting to wind me up, and I found my body practically vibrating with uncertainty. “I’m not bad at them, but they don’t look like they’re rigged. Can you see anything I’m missing? This air hockey table is set up for one player though, which is weird.” I exhaled hard and then stepped up to the pacman machine, rolling my shoulders I gave a quick glance over my shoulder to Vishous and then reached up to press the button to start it, swearing loudly at the electric shock that was delivered to my finger. “Fuck! Well that doesn’t look good if these aren’t even wired properly. They didn’t have you around to get it all sorted.” I shook out my hand again and then used the various buttons to move my little munching man around the screen. I realised quickly that the game was set up so that the levels were melded into one. The game got faster and faster until I was inevitably consumed by ghosts. The minute the GAME OVER came up on the screen another shock was delivered. Forcing my fingers into a fist with the power that zapped up my arm and constricted every muscle. It took every ouch of control to successfully pull away without breaking the various buttons as I scraped my fingers off the panel. I couldn’t speak, instead just curling in on myself while cradling my arm, breath coming in harsh pants while I tried to get myself back under control. ~ #TheEscapeRoomPt1

[ecmlol]

“Ok that works. You don’t have too even see him now”jude say

“ why don’t we just talk to him”noah says

“ you know what Oscar said he’s upset and he runs. Confronting him isn’t going to help the situation.”

“ what if I befriend him.”Noah asked

“ how?”jude asked

“ just lunch talking I can act like I don’t know who he is”

“ if the opportunity happens then ok but please don’t search him out.He’s not a story to chase he my brother that has mental issues “

“ I know jude but he’s your brother not a wild animal.”noah say

“ but he acts like one”jude says

Noah is getting frustrated with Jude because he feels like jude can benefit from having a relationship with his brother. Who knows maybe jude can help his brother deal with the revelation for having a twin.

“ maybe he needs a little compassion in his life jude . He was raised by Oscar. Maybe that’s all he needs.”noah say

It’s not often Jude thinks Noah is delusional or naive. This is one of those time.

“ noah I have a bad feeling about him.”

“ how bad can he be he’s your twin.”

“ he was raised by Oscar and he killed my moms dog!”jude say.

“ ok ok I get it . I just want us to have as much family in our life as we can. We both have been with out it for a while .

“I understand where this is going noah I do but I don’t think he needs to be apart of our support system if we even need one at this rate.”jude say

“ do you think Pax would man up and actually take the baby and raise it alone.”noah say

“ I don’t know but if you want to chase something like a story dig around in pax’s background.”

“ then what”

“ get a feel for him we already know he isn’t loyal and he has had some money issue” W.W.O.D. What would Oscar do. Jude thought to himself. Jude knows this is a dangerous road to travel down but day by day jude is growing to love the idea of a family with Noah.At first he thought that he could never have all of his dreams come true . There is no way he would ever be that lucky. Meet Noah and getting the devils he has figured out that he can have everything : Devils,a husband,and a family.

“ what do you know that I don’t “noah asked

“ the commissioners wife paid Pax to sleep with her .”

“Gigalowe! Are you serious he’s that bad at money management that he blow all of his money and had to sell his dick to make ends meeting?!!

“ please don’t ever make that a headline.”Jude say

“ I won’t. I promise but if I did it would be great”

“ thank you. We really don’t need those kind of headlines”jude says

“True”noah is starting to see that his marriage is going to mess with career. Noah has a lot of soul searching when it concern his career and how he’s going to handle it.He feels like he has to choice between a happy home life or his career. He know which one he will choice everytime. Jude. Period. The life he’s building with Jude means everything to Noah. The devils are as much of his concern as Jude’s.

The rest of the trip noah sat back and watched the sky line fly by.

At the arena

Brandon feels lost like a child sitting in the security office at the mall.Brandon has no clue how he got to the arena or what happened to his wallet. The last thing he remembers is being in Florida sitting in a rental car across from his mother’s house watching his sister play. His busted lips gave him a clue to where his things might be at. Snow the officer of duty at the moment walks in with a glass of water and a monster.

“ your father just called and he’s sending a car to come pick you up.” The sammy Davis jr look alike say

Brandon doesn’t have a clue what his game play is but he needed to regroup.

15 minutes later

Jude and Noah drive up to the arena and see a town car sitting out front.

“ do you think that’s car is for my brother?” Jude ask as he turns to park in the back.

“ stop “noah say

“ what?!jude stops in a rush luckly Porsche have great breaks Jude thought to himself.

Noah looks over and watches “jude”walk down from the top of the stairs .

Noah double takes looking at Jude then Brandon

“Holy shit “ noah say

Jude cranks his head to take a look.

“ I can’t see”jude says

“ from here I don’t think I can tell you two apart.”

“ well you really need to figure something out.”jude says in a worried tone.

Jude’s tone makes noah look at him.

“ I’ll come up with something I promise you Dane.”noah says as he leans in and gives him a quick kiss on jude pouted lips.

Noah and Jude have question written down and Put in the safe. The only person who knows the combination is noah.Noah tooks pictures of every scare birthmark and oddities on Jude’s body. They also are keeping those pictures on a disk in the safe.

Hotel

As soon as Brandon gets into his hotel room his phone rings.

Brandon already know who it is.

“ Father ?”

“ Brandon? are you ok?” Oscar asked

“I blacked out again”Brandon says

“ it’s ok come home and speaking to your therapist “

“ I can’t I’m this close to meeting him”

“ if that’s the case then why don’t you just walk up to jude and talk to him”oscar suggest

“ you know I can’t do that what if he doesn’t like me”Brandon say

“ Brandon I’m coming to get you. I’ll be in la....”

“ give me a month I’ll work up the nerves to talk to him I promise father “Brandon says in a small voice.

“ you’ll be on your best behavior? No more dead dogs?”

“ it was a accident I just wanted a closer look I didn’t know more then one sleeping pill will kill a dog!” Brandon voice changes into something more angry

“Kyle?”

“Yes!”

“ we can talk about this when my son wants to talk.”oscar says before hanging up.

At the arena

Jude is showing his personal security guard around . She wanted to see all of the exits in case of emergency. She is what he imagined Noah’s sister would look like. She almost 6’1 medium complex long legs and dark eyes but that’s where the similarities end. She has dark brown hair not black and she’s curvy like a real plus size model.jude thought

“ sir would you happen to have a list of places you frequent on a regular bases?” Officer Murray ask

“ of course “ jude writes down every place he can think of at the moment that he might go to.

There a knock on the door.Jude and Murray look up at the same time.

Noah and loinel walk in.

“ hey.”noah say as he wave to jude and walks over to Murray.

“This is my husband noah and my hag and Noah’s boss Lionel Davenport.”jude says

“ hi nice to meet you.”Murray say as she shakes both of their hands.

“ when ever I’m with either one of them you can take a break”jude say

“ all right. That works. I’ll go walk around and get comfortable with the building?”

“ sure that works be back in a hour.”jude says

Murray nods and disappears out the door.

“ ok what going on?”lionel demands as she sits down and gets comfortable.

Jude and Noah lean against Jude’s desk looking at lionel.

“Well I have a unstable twin brother that lives in New York that went to the same school as Eve”jude says

“A brother? Of course he’s unstable .Hello I was the man wife and never felt more unstable in my life.That awful. So what’s with the bodyguard.”

“ that where the unstable part come in “ noah say as he crosses his arm.

“ he has a split personality. I think I might be in danger of him trying to replace me.”jude says

“ ok I need a drink. “ Lionel gets up and head to the door.

Jude and Noah both look at each other and shrug.

They follow lionel out.

A few hours later noah and jude are walking into the house.

“ so tell me about officer Murray? Do you think she’s a good fit?”

“ so far I like her . She’s on time. She seems like she thinks outside the box.”jude says as he opens the refrigerator and grabs two beers

“Want a beer”jude ask noah who is leaning against the kitchen counter.

“ nah I think I’m good but I will take a water.”jude tosses noah a bottle of water.

“ thanks”

They walk out into the living room.

“ feel like Netflix and chill”noah asked as he sits down.”

“In bed yes.” Jude says as he heads toward the bedroom.

“ bedroom it is then.”

By the time noah gets into the bedroom after a pit stop in the bathroom jude is half naked.

Noah starts to strip. Noah notices that Jude’s shoulders are down and he keeps rubbing the back of his neck.

“ Dane? “

“ huh?” Jude looks over to noah who is pulling off his shoe in his closet.

“ sit on the bed for me”

“ ah ok” jude sits on the bed.

Noah sits on the other side and swings his legs over and the scoots over to sit behind Jude.

Noah starts to massage Jude’s shoulders.

“ god that feels so good.”jude sighs and rotates his neck.

“ good. So knowing Brandon is here really has you stressed out huh.”

“That obvious huh.”

“ I watch you all the time I can see it all over your face and in the way you move.”noah says

“ when you say things like that I worry a little less about you not knowing if it’s the real me.”

“ look at me.”noah says

Noah scoots back to make room on the bed for jude to turn and look at noah.

“ Jude you’re my best friend my husband and my world. We will get through this and anything else that gets thrown at us.”

Jude nods and leans into Noah.

Noah kisses Jude’s shoulders then the side of his head.

“ I missed us today”jude says

“ I missed our bubble too.”noah says

“ I guess we are back to reality “jude says

Jude sighs. Noah leans back and does a sloppy flip off the bed.

“ let’s go and be in our bubble in the shower.”noah says.

Jude smiles and follows noah into the bathroom.

The week goes quickly for both Noah and Jude. Neither one have seen or heard a peep out of Brandon. Noah has called and checked on Jamie everyday. There hasn’t been a sighting of Pax either. Was it the quiet before the storm jude thought at the weekly dinner that jude made himself.

On the menu this week : Mac and cheese, salads and grilled shrimp.

“ so how is it?”jude asked after he pushes the storm questions out of his head.

“ well shrimp is a little tough and the Mac and cheese could have baked a little older but besides that great job Dane.”noah says with a little sarcasm and a wink.

“ hey don’t blame me for the shrimp I’m not the one that cornered my husband and kissed him for like 5 minutes.”jude says

“ well ok. I can’t help myself you are just so irresistible when you cook and your wearing one of my wife beaters.” Noah said

Jude smiles and touches the love bite on his neck then rolls his eyes.

“ I’m kidding about the Mac and cheese it’s good by the way. So I found my baseball gear today while I was unpacking . Any chance you want to hit the batting cage or play catch after dinner?”noah asked

“ sure. Did you pick up my suit any chance?”jude asked.

“ no did you ask me to? Did I for get to pick it?”Noah asked.

“ no no I went to pick it up today after work and they said it was all ready picked up.”jude say

“ oh . Do you think they lost it?”noah asked

“ no I don’t Think they did. I have never had a problem with them before.”

“ do you think....”

“ my brother took them?”

“Yes anything possible jude . We know he’s in town”

“Great.”jude shakes his he and rubs the back of his neck “

“ ok take a breath and tell me which suit it was”

“ the brown one and I can’t remember the other one.”

“Ok the one I hate and a nother one got it.”

“ huh you hate the brown one ?”

“Yeah I should have rip it off you when I had a chance “

“ oh ok just remember the next time you see it i won’t be me wearing it.let me get it back before you do that. While we are on the subject of clothing. The next time I see you wearing underwear with holes I’m ripping them off you.”jude says with a smile.

“ is that a threat or a promise?”noah asked as he watches jude walk into the kitchen for a glass of water.

“ promise and I’m hiding those “ swim suit” too” jude says

“ I was wondering what happened to them.”

“ I hid them just before making dinner last weekend .”

“ oh so what do I have to do to get them back?” Noah says in his most seductive tone.

“Hummm I have to think about it”jude says teasingly.

“ I’m up for a challenge.”noah say

“Good because Im going to think of something good”

Noah gets a text. Noah’s face goes from flirty husband to worried.

“ noah everything ok?”

“She going to the hospital “noah say

“ what’s wrong” jude asked

“ not sure she said she feels off like something is wrong with the baby” noah say as he gets up and starts to walk away from the table.

Jude watches as noah grabs his shoes.

“ I’ll be back I want to check on them.”noah say

“ ok I’ll be here hanging out.” Jude say

Noah comes back and kisses jude before leaving.

“ love you” noah says on his way out.

Noah was so fast Jude’s response was only heard by his own ears.

“ love you .... too”

Two hours later jude receives a text from noah saying that it was just Braxton Hicks.

Jude didn’t really know what that means.

For the rest of the evening jude does some serious soul searching about the baby. Jude is thinking about everything noah has dug up on Pax this week. Pax’s brother was a baller that died in a car accident just before his first season in the league. His mother was never married and is a registered nurse. Pax didn’t make it through college. He flunked out just before the draft. Jude didn’t want to know how noah found out that pax is selling signed jersey online or that pax is in so much debt it’s ridiculous.

Jude thought to himself that noah has put so much time , money and heart into this baby that he know he’s not giving up on it no matter how much Jude has warned him about it. A part of jude is afraid that there is no way the universe is going to give him everything he has ever wanted in his life.Jude’s gut feeling is that he and noah are going to be heart broken by the end of the year.

Jude sigh and he gives up on trying to talk Noah out of this baby.

Jude picks up his phone and goes on to amazon to look up books on pregnancy and child birth.

Three hours later.

Jude has fallen asleep on the couch reading his new book. Noah walks in hoping that jude is awake because he has some news that he is dying to tell him.

Noah see jude on the couch with his phone in his hand.

Hummm I wonder if he was waiting up for me and fell asleep checking his emails.noah thought to himself

Noah takes Jude’s phone out of his hand and places it on the coffee table.

Jude starts to stir.

“ hey I’m home”noah say with a gentle shake.

“ what time is it “ jude say as he slowly opens his eyes.

Noah checks Jude’s phone.

“ 1245”

Jude rotates his head and stretches.

“ is everything ok still?”

“ yeah it’s great ! I have some news!” Noah is beyond giddy. He’s practically bouncing on the coffee table.

“Give me a second to wake up noah.” Jude say half a sleep.

Apart of jude wants to act like he is about to fall asleep but he doesn’t.

“ ok so what’s..”

Noah is smiling from ear to ear as he bites his bottom lip as he tries to contain his excitement.

“ it’s a girl!”Noah say as he grabs jude and hugs him.

“ seriously?!!”

“Yes I have pictures!”noah says with a smile.

“ sonagraphs you mean?”jude say

“ look at you using pregnancy terms”noah say as he takes the sonagram picture from his jacket pocket to hand to Jude.

“ if your wondering how I knew that I have decided to stop fighting you when it comes to our maybe baby and go with the flow. I download a few books to catch up on my knowledge on babies ,pregnancy and fatherhood.”

“ really?”noah says

“ yeah” jude says with a small smile.

“ god I love you”noah leans in and kisses jude. Jude smiles against his husband’s lips.

Jude sits back and pulls Noah with him. They stretch out on the couch. Noah is nestled in between jude ‘s legs.noah pulls away first.

“ tell me about what happened at the hospital”jude asked.

Noah rest his head on his back of his hands looking at jude.

“ every time I see her her belly it looks so different. It blows my mind.” Noah says

Jude holds up the first “photos “of their maybe baby.

“ wow look at her nose! Are those her feet?” Jude asked

“ yes I have a video you have to see it she’s sucking on her fingers!”

“ really?”

“ yes here she’s was totally spread eagle and you can see that she’s a girl clear as day.well that’s what the women says.”noah say

Jude smiles at Noah’s enthusiasm he thought it is contagious.

“ yeah her nose is cute.”noah say

“Oh wow these are really interesting looking” jude said as he hopes he is looking at the right ones.

“ ok I have to tell you something.”

“ ok ...what up ?”the tone In Noah’s voice says it could be some bad.

“She put my name down as the father. I didn’t asked to.”

Jude sighs

“What about the dna test you know we got the results in back yesterday.” Jude says

“ it’s been like this for months but I found out today.”

“ I think we need a lawyer.”jude says

“Yeah I think you might be right.”noah says

“ ok we can think about this later?” Jude says as he puts the sonagram pictures on the coffee table.

“ so what do you have in mind? Noah asked

“ happy 2 week anniversary”jude before pulling Noah into a kiss.

The next morning

Jude and Noah wake up the next day tangle in sheets .Noah’s head is at the top of th bed and Jude’s head is at the bottom with him feet next to Noah’s head.

Noah stretches his back and Jude’s feet hits his face.

Noah looks down at jude who is still sleeping and smiles to himself.He grabs his phone and turns on his camera app and starts to record.

Noah wasn’t sure how ticklish jude is. He knows he’s slightly ticklish from the fact that jude won’t get a pedicure with Lionel or him. He angle his camera to only show Jude’s foot and he runs one finger lightly over the center of Jude’s foot. Jude’s whole foot scrunches up. Noah does it again but a little hard. Jude kicks him in the face and almost fall off the bed .

Noah grabs jude ‘s leg so he didn’t fall off the bed .

“Nono” jude says in a groggy voice

“ what??”noah says with a devilish grin.

Jude scrambles to get up on the bed before noah looses his grip.

Jude sits up and eyes noah who is on his phone.

“ Jude I’ve been hacked. Wait you posted sleeping pictures of me?”

“I was wondering when you noticed when you were husband hacked .”

“ aww you even used a hashtag. I’m so proud of you.”

“ I said I would try this social media thing”jude says as he crawls to the head of the bed.

Noah smiles when jude leans in and kisses him good morning.

“ hey Dane . Sleep well.”

Jude rolls his eyes.

“You know I did .”Jude says

“ that dick the best sleeping pill ever!”noah says

“ and you can’t overdose”jude say offering his fist to pound.

They both laugh.

“ so do we have any comment”jude asked

“Of course . The one that shows my back and the top of my ass. Has the most likes.

“ you do look hot in that one.”

“ those gluts exercises are paying off.”noah say as he looks through the comments.

“ look at all the flames and heart eyes.” Jude says

“ yeah people love skin”noah say

As Noah scrolls down his comments one sticks out to him for some reason.

“ bigbro925.” Noah say out loud.

He is the first negative comment on the whole post so far.

“ is your brother older?”noah asked

[moody-by-nature]

Rescue Me | Chapter Six

Andrea’s POV

"Alright, fine. We'll do it your way this time. Emma has taken on more of an ownership role in the company and Shayla is now my assistant. She's wonderful, but my life has been getting busier and busier each day and we could use an extra set of hands. So, I wanted to ask if you'd be interested in working for me as an assistant? You'd be the perfect addition to the team, what do you think?"

My mind was racing, 'did he really just ask me to work for him?' I pulled my feet up and wrapped my arm around my legs, "I don't know Jared, that's a pretty big change to make so suddenly."

"Says the woman who packed her car and transported her life to Los Angeles without anyone to fall back on! You're obviously strong willed, what's your hesitation?"

I listened to him chewing on the other end of the phone, processing what I wanted to say to him. "I don't want to sound selfish, but I moved here to chase my dreams of acting and directing Jared, and I can't do that if I'm working for you. I mean, sure, I'd love to travel the world with you and learn from you, absolutely. But I feel like what I want would fall on the back burner."

"I promise you it wouldn't. Working with me could open a lot of doors for you. All the events I have to go to, you'd be right beside me. Rubbing elbows with the very people you want to work with."

"So you want me to use you to get what I want? That seems a bit silly and incredibly unfair. What's in it for you?"

Jared laughed quietly, "Honestly, it's an I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine situation, Andie. You help me keep my life together and organized and I'll do whatever I can to support and help you. You get a call to audition? Schedule it and go. You get offered the part? I'll be your biggest cheerleader. I'd never stop you from living your dreams."

I could hear the sincerity laced in his words. They spoke directly to my adventurous side, which wanted to instantly say yes. However, my logical side refused to let up just yet.

"Ok, and what about when we are in the middle of a tour in Europe when that audition happens, hmm? You just expect me to think it's ok to just leave you?" I asked incredulously.

"Shayla will still be around and she can pick up the slack when you're gone. Your role is being created to help take some of her work load off. Occasional trips to audition wouldn't be an issue."

I shook my head at his reply and grinned, "You'd be an excellent salesman if this multihyphenate thing doesn't pan out." Giggling, I added, "You could sell ice to an Eskimo!"

Jared let out a breathy laugh, "So is that a yes?" He asked in excitement.

"No! That was just a discussion of expectations of sorts. I need to think about it Jared."

"Ok, I understand. Hey, I have an idea! We have a show coming up at the Hollywood Bowl. Come to the show and hopefully by then you'll have your answer. Award season will be approaching soon and I'd like to have you with me by then, but no pressure."

I chewed on my cheek as I thought about his offer, "Yeah! I'd love to see you guys play again and I've yet to see a show at The Bowl."

"The Bowl. Listen to you, you already sound like a local." He said with a laugh. We continued talking for hours, just like the first night we met, until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

"Hey, J," I yawned, "I need to get some sleep, I have the early shift tomorrow at the coffee shop."

"Oh shit, I just realized the time! I was serious about my offer, Andrea. But I want you to take your time deciding and do what's best for you."

I sighed, "I know J, I will think it over, I promise."

"I like it when you call me J." He responded, "Goodnight, Andie, sweet dreams."

With a big smile on my lips, I replied,"Goodnight J, sweet dreams to you, too."

After disconnecting the call I walked into the bathroom to complete my nightly routine and climbed into bed. Lying there in my cozy bed, I generated a mental checklist of pro's and con's, the pro list was gaining traction quickly when I fell into a peaceful sleep.

The next four weeks flew by quickly. All of those auditions under my belt and I had finally landed a small part on a tv show. Along with that role, the exposure had granted me some advertisement work. I was asked to model for one of my favorite local boutiques. With those two projects lined up, I felt it best to resign from the doctor's office and picked up supplemental shifts at the coffee shop in between my time on set and photo shoots.

Jared and I spoke via text almost daily and on the phone at least a couple times a week. Things had been much better since he'd asked me to join his team and our friendship was progressing quickly. Shannon had kept his promise of staying in touch as well.

When I last spoke to Jared he said they were due to arrive home later today. Excitement bubbled through me as time ticked by waiting to see them again.

Unfortunately, that won't be until show day. The next two days were jam packed full of fourteen hour work days, and I know they will be just as busy prepping for the show Saturday.

In an attempt to make the days pass quickly, I threw myself into my work. I loved being on set so much. This is exactly what I want to do with my life. Every morning, I pull onto the studio lot and pinch myself as I glance up at the Hollywood sign to make sure I'm not dreaming. I spend any time I'm not in front of the camera sitting next to the director absorbing everything I can, and learn as much as possible from different crew members.

When Saturday morning arrived, I awoke before my alarm. Today was my first full day free of work in a solid month. Surprisingly, I felt refreshed and ready to enjoy this day to the fullest.

The sounds of Fleetwood Mac flowed from the speakers of my turntable as I danced around my kitchen preparing my favorite tofu scramble with sautéed veggies and coffee. I sat cross legged on top of the counter eating when my phone buzzed with a text.

"Please tell me you're free all day and what time I'll get to see you?" A big smile crept across my face as I read Jared's words again before sending a reply.

"Yes, free all day and how soon do you want to see me?"

Just as I hit send the doorbell rang. I jumped down and rushed to the door looking through the peep hole. Mumbling, "Are you serious right now?" before I opened the door as far as the chain would allow, "How does now sound?" Jared asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Great, except for the fact that I'm not decent! I'll unlock the door, but don't you dare come in here until thirty seconds have passed."

Jared smirked at me, "What are you smirking about?" I asked.

"You just said thirty seconds." He chuckled

I laughed and rolled my eyes, "Unintentional pun, but I'm serious." I shut the door before he could respond and unlatched the chain, then ran down the hall to put pants on. Jared let himself in and walked into the kitchen.

After a few minutes rummaging through my closet, I threw on a pair of black sweatpants, a fresh t-shirt and grabbed my glasses. I glanced at my reflection on my way out of my closet trying to decide the fate of my unruly curls. I made my way into the living room, deciding to toss my hair into a messy bun.

I found Jared sitting on a barstool next to my breakfast, gazing out the window. The sound of my bare feet on the hardwood floor alerted him of my approach. He smiled at me and leapt from his seat, "Hey!" he said, spreading his arms open for a hug.

"Hey." I smiled back, "Are you happy to be home? Would you like some breakfast? I have plenty and it's still fairly warm."

"Very happy and yes, I would please. It smells amazing!"

I pulled a plate out of the cabinet and filled it full of food before placing it in front of Jared. Then I walked back around the counter digging a fork from the drawer, "I have some tea if you'd like? Or some dark chocolate almond milk?"

Glancing up at Jared, I waited for his response, "I haven't had chocolate almond milk in a while, that sounds delicious."

I felt his eyes on me as I moved about. Butterflies danced in my tummy and I couldn't stop smiling. My hands trembled as I poured milk into a glass for him. I shook my head and quietly laughed at my silliness and placed the glass in front of Jared, taking a seat next to him.

Jared took a bite of his breakfast and moaned lightly, "Damn, Andie, this is delicious!" I shivered at the sound he made as it reverberated through me. I gazed at Jared as he said, "That's two meals you've made for me now that we're both great. Even more reason for you to join the team." He winked.

"I'm glad you like it, and don't push your luck, Jared, I'm still processing."

"Yeah, you've been quite the busy bee lately, how's your show going?" he asked.

"Well, it's hardly my show, but I love it!"

As we sat there eating I felt like my body had a mind of its own. My feet bounced uncontrollably on the barstool, my heart was racing and I had to focus on regulating my breathing. Surely it was just excitement for the show tonight. It's been so long since I've seen them play. Or was it something else?

Jared broke my concentration when he asked, "Hey, you ok? You've been staring at your plate for five minutes."

Readjusting my glasses, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about the show tonight, I'm really excited to see you guys play."

Jared smiled, "I'm excited too, should be a great show. You sure you're ok? I should have called before I came over, I'm sorry." He said with a sigh.

"No, no. It's fine, really. I just got lost in my thoughts for a minute there."

I stood up and started clearing our plates, while Jared finished his milk before he walked over and placed it next to the sink.

"Ok, well, I've gotta go. I have to get some things rolling for tonight. The meet and greet with the Echelon is at three. So if you want, you can get there around two and we will have a little downtime." He stated as he walked towards the door. I followed him, wringing my hands together as I listened to his instructions.

"Sounds great, I'll be there around two." I answered, smiling up at him just as he pulled me into another hug. I wrapped my arms around him once again, squeezing him a little tighter before letting him go, and held the door open as he left.

"Bye Andrea, see you in a bit. Oh, when you get there give them your name at the talent entrance."

"Ok. Bye, J."

Shutting and locking the door behind him, I stomped across the living room, fell face first into the couch and let out a frustrated scream. "Get it together, Bennet!"

Around noon I made myself a small pizza and decided to start getting ready. After a shower, I perused my closet for tonight's outfit. My goal was comfort, so I opted for a dark grey crop top with a pair of cutoff shorts, my favorite flannel and my comfy converse. I left my long hair down to air dry, praying for my curls to behave. I switched out bags to a small cross-body purse and made another sweep of my home to ensure I had everything I needed and called Jared.

"Hey, Andie!" He said

"Hey Jared, I'm headed over, need me to bring you anything on the way?"

"See, you're a natural." He chuckled

"What are you talking about?" I asked before it dawned on me what he was referring to. "Ugh. I was just being nice, forget I asked. I'm on the way. Bye."

I arrived at the venue just after two o'clock and checked in as instructed. The big burly man named Steve according to his credentials announced my arrival into a two-way radio. Moments later I hear a female voice say, Let her in, I'm making my way down the hall to meet her." Steve opened the door and I started walking down the empty hallway.

"You must be Andrea, I'm Shayla! It's nice to meet you!" She smiled warmly at me, I smiled back, "Hey, yes I am, it's nice to meet you too, Shayla." She turned and gestured for me to follow her, making idle chit chat as we walked until she stopped, knocking on a door as she pushed it open. "Jared, Andrea's here."

There was no reply, but Shayla said, "Go on in, he may be in the restroom. I'll be back to check on you in a bit. I have to get a few things taken care of." I hesitated entering his dressing room unannounced, but Shayla nudged my arm in encouragement and went on her way.

Jared's things were strewn haphazardly throughout the room. I glanced around at my surroundings looking for a place to sit, settling for the couch in the corner.

I sat there quietly for a couple of minutes playing with the ends of my hair when I heard a door. Jared walked out of the bathroom, completely unaware of my proximity, with nothing but a towel wrapped dangerously low around his slim hips; his hands busy drying his hair with another towel. I suddenly felt like I was violating his privacy, so I quickly grabbed for my phone to distract myself from looking at his body.

I opened my phone, but hadn't managed to get much further when he cleared his throat, "Andrea."

[meimikana]

A Beginner’s Guide to Caring for Your Luminary: Chapter 2: AO3 Previous Chapters: Ch1: AO3 | Tumblr Fandom: Dragon Quest XI Pairing: Erik/Eleven (eventually) Rating: Teen Summary: Follow along as Erik meets, gets to know, and slowly learns how to properly care for his Luminary.

Notes: Wow, this took longer to get out than I had intended. Very sorry for the protracted delay. It was mostly me wanting to find out the significance of the Orb in relation to Erik before committing to anything in this chapter. And then I just ended up being vague about it anyway. Go figure. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I have beaten the game now, so there shouldn't be such long delays from here on out.

P.S. The chapter is under the cut for people who don’t wanna go to AO3 for whatever reason. Cheers~ 

Ch2: Keep Him Close at Hand (But Don't Smother Him)

The old nun had taken one look at Erik and his companion's bedraggled state and had instantly whisked them off into the back room, closing the door behind them and clucking her tongue the entire way. She muttered something about fool boys under her breath as she directed Erik towards the single bed, then bustled about on what he assumed was a quest for extra linens. No questions were asked, and he silently thanked her for that, because he sure didn't know what to say at this point. He could make up a tale easily enough, but he didn't much feel like lying through his teeth when he was taking advantage of the church's goodwill. Some things you just didn't do.

The Luminary hadn't stirred at all throughout their trek and didn't make a single peep as Erik laid him out on the bed. That was… worrisome. Had he hit his head or something? But no, he'd looked fine when Erik had found him, just completely drenched. Speaking of which, Erik frowned in confusion as he reached down and fingered a lock of the Luminary's hair. It felt only slightly damp, almost dry even, which made no sense whatsoever. It hadn't taken him that long to make it to the church, and Erik could still feel water squelching around in his shoes with every step he took, but the Luminary… was almost dry. What the heck? Did being the Luminary give somebody a self drying ability or something? But no, that didn't feel quite right. This was something else…

Erik shelved that thought for the nonce as the old nun returned, her arms heaped with the linens she'd gone off in search of. Shaking her head, she clucked her tongue at Erik again as she foisted the heap off on him, told him in no uncertain terms to hurry up and get out of those wet things before he caught his death, then turned her attention towards the Luminary. Erik just shrugged and started stripping out of his clothes. What shame he had left in him was limited to very few things, and he highly doubted he had anything she hadn't seen before.

"How is he?" Erik asked once he was half down to bare skin and wrestling with a pair of shoes that got way too tight whenever they got wet. Ugh.

"A little banged up, but he'll be right as rain in no time at all." Erik nodded at her pronouncement, then did his best to fight down the intense wave of relief that had washed over him upon hearing it. He didn't need to be showing that kind of weakness to a little old lady, no matter how helpful she was being. Besides, he'd just met the Luminary. Erik had no business feeling this attached to someone he'd just met a short while ago. He didn't even know the kid's name yet, for pete's sake. Why was he being so ridiculous about this?

A sensation not unlike dread crawled up Erik's spine, instantly chasing away what he felt was a frivolous line of thinking. Uhoh. Swallowing against the apprehension clogging up his throat, Erik craned his head around and met the baleful glare the old nun was sending his way. Ah, disapproving old ladies, now this was something he was familiar with. Unfortunately. "Ma'am?" he ventured carefully. He knew that "Sister" was the more appropriate form of address here, but he didn't think she'd appreciate him trying to be proper at the moment.

"Scamp! What are you doing dragging this poor boy into your line of work?" The old nun grumped while waving her finger at him as if he were a naughty child she was about to take over her knee. Oh dear. "It doesn't take more than a glance to tell he's not fit for that."

Erik couldn't help a relieved breathless chuckle at her accusation. "You're right, he's not meant for thieving. He's definitely meant for something else." Something far greater. "But he was in a bit of a bind, and there was no one else, so I did what I could to help him out. That's all. Scout's honor." Erik held his hand up and grinned cheekily at the last. He couldn't blame her for thinking poorly of the situation. It did kind of look bad from the outside, especially to somebody who was nominally familiar with his trade. Only the truly heartless got kids mixed up in thieving… or worse.

The old nun hmmphed at him, but appeared to have accepted his explanation as she turned back towards the Luminary. "Be that as it may, you boys are welcome here as long as you have need. Don't need to be going out while you're still sopping wet, that's for sure. A stiff breeze would have me writing out your eulogy in no time flat." She nodded to herself and gave the Luminary's shoulder a gentle pat before turning her attention back to Erik. "I'll be heading up into downtown Heliodor in a short bit for the daily blessings and… gossip. You keep the bedroom door locked while I'm out, you hear? The knights are a just lot, but they've forgotten that mercy goes hand in hand, and I'd rather they not find out about my predilection for lending a helping hand to strays. You understand, I'm sure."

Erik nodded in agreement. Made sense. No one would question a locked door in a church, especially not when the resident lady of the cloth was out and about. And gossip would be good. He needed a good lay of the land to help him figure out what to do next. And well, there's no way this old lady would ever believe either of them were the "Darkspawn", so it should work out fine. Luck, fate, whatever anyone wanted to call it, had worked in their favor so far, no reason for it to stop now.

Of course, he couldn't do much until the Luminary woke up anyway. Which brought him back to his original concern. Erik waved the old nun off, then grimaced to himself and stripped the rest of his clothes off once she'd left. Snagging one of the towels out of the pile of linens, he vigorously scrubbed himself dry, then wrung the excess water out of his clothes and laid them out to dry by one of the windows. Stained glass wasn't all that great for letting sunlight in, but beggars can't be choosers. Shouldn't take too long, at least. A blanket pulled from the pile would serve to keep him warm, and solve the whole naked issue. Which just left the Luminary.

Erik grabbed a chair and dragged it over to the bed, plopping his butt down in it before reaching over and grasping the kid's wrist. His pulse felt normal. Erik frowned and leaned forward, placing his hand on the Luminary's forehead. No fever. And… Erik ran his fingers through the kid's hair. Completely dry. Huh. But still deeply unconscious, Erik thought as he tapped a finger against the other boy's cheek. Maybe… maybe it had something to do with him actually being the Luminary. That jump should have killed them, or seriously injured them at the very least. But Erik felt fine, and the old nun had said the kid would be perfectly fine.

Erik leaned back in the chair, crossed his arms, and stared up at the ceiling as he worked recent and not so recent events out in his head. He'd gotten arrested several months back when no one should have been the wiser about who had pulled off the theft of the Orb. A touch of severe bad luck on his part, or so he'd thought. The guards had been pretty lacking in actual guarding once he'd been thrown into jail, so he'd had an easy time of it digging a way out of that predicament. And then, on the day he finishes making his escape route, the Luminary waltzes into his life, just like he'd been told. Their escape hadn't exactly been easy, but when they'd gotten trapped, the bridge had oh so conveniently collapsed beneath them, then they'd somehow managed to not wash ashore in that cavern with any of the knights who'd fallen in with them, granted it had been the home of that freaking black dragon, and they'd barely escaped getting fried, but they'd still managed it. And then, when their luck had seemingly run out, they'd somehow survived jumping off a literal cliff.

Okay, so fate was working in their favor overtime, but it didn't explain how they'd survived that fall. But maybe there was another explanation for it. Erik got up and walked around to the other side of the bed. This was the Luminary, after all. Reaching down, Erik took ahold of the kid's left hand and studied the sigil emblazoned there. And maybe that was the explanation he was looking for. The Luminary was some divinely chosen hero, right? Maybe he had some built in mystical survival mechanism. Would make sense. But he was so young… Erik looked up at the kid's face, really, really looked at it. Probably sixteen, that was the usual age hereabouts when folks proclaimed kids to be adults and ready to handle whatever the world threw at them. So he was a kid with the power of a hero, but it was highly doubtful he'd had much practice in heroic pursuits, otherwise Erik would have heard about him already.

So. The kid's power must have been what saved them. That was the most likely and logical explanation. Nodding to himself, Erik walked back around the bed and plopped back down in the chair. And if it wasn't something that the kid used often, then it probably wore him out. That made a tremendous amount of sense given everything that had happened. And… Erik was good at noticing things like that. He'd had… practice… before. And while he truly doubted that the Luminary needed a caretaker, everyone needed somebody to care for them, right? Erik didn't much mind being that.

---

By the time the old nun had returned from her foray up into the city, Erik's clothes had dried out enough to be worn again. Which was good. He may not have much shame left in him, but he certainly didn't fancy waltzing around with his goods hanging out for all and sundry to take a gander at. The Luminary had yet to rouse, which really wasn't good, but there wasn't anything Erik could do but wait at this point. Carrying the kid might have gotten them here, but hauling him around elsewhere like a sack of potatoes would attract attention. Attention was definitely something they didn't want. For one thing, he was a criminal. For another, Heliodor was full of crazy people who all thought the Luminary was evil.

…Maybe there was something in the water? But no, he didn't think the Luminary was evil, and he'd been in town for awhile now. He was pretty sure no one in downtown thought that way either. So… something up at the castle maybe? Eh, best to steer clear of there if at all possible anyway.

The old nun brought back some interesting news, which she regaled him with after she'd calmed down. She'd burst into the room, nearly rattling the lock to piece in her haste to unlock the door, anxious and beside herself with worry, afraid that the Darkspawn might have gotten to them while she'd been out. Erik had almost jumped out of his skin, but had somehow managed to avoid pulling his blade on her. Not that he thought she would have cared much about that, she knew his kind well enough. You just didn't startle someone who lived in the shadows unless you wanted some steel in your belly. But still, it was the principle of the matter. He was a pro, thank you very much. He would keep his cool no matter what, or at the very least, pull off a pretty good pretense of keeping it.

Cobblestone. Erik had never even heard of Cobblestone. Which made sense, he supposed. A nowhere town was the most likely place for a hero to grow up with people being none the wiser for it. Hendrik was going to be a problem though. The kid would definitely want to go and make sure everybody he knew was all right and stuff, and Erik sure wouldn't blame him one whit for that, but there was no way they were going to get past Hendrik. They would have to lay low for awhile, which fit Erik's personal plans nicely. He didn't want to leave the Luminary all on his own. He couldn't. But at the same time, Erik had to get his hands back on that Orb. That thing… Honestly, that heist was going to be a pretty significant notch in his belt. The knowledge that he'd managed to nab something that rich out of Heliodor's stronghold of a castle would get him places, of that he had no doubt. But he really didn't care about that aspect, there were… other things that mattered when it came to that damn Orb. He couldn't- no, wouldn't leave without it, which meant he had to go back into the city to fetch it, and he was going to have to drag the Luminary along with him. Not exactly a wise choice of action, but it was something that had to be done. Now if the Luminary would just wake up already.

Wishing for things hadn't ever really gotten Erik anywhere, and it still didn't, but an hour spent poking the kid and hoping he would wake up soon seemed to have at least kept him from going stir crazy. It was the little things in life that mattered in the end, after all. The kid shifted away from one final poke and Erik couldn't help the grin that practically split his face in two. Finally. "Wake up, lazybones," Erik singsonged cheerfully. Another shift followed, and Erik couldn't resist one more chipper verbal poke before a pair of bright blue eyes blinked open at him. Huh, he hadn't had time before to think about it much, and he'd been too worried to really contemplate it later, but this kid sure was easy on the eye. That… might prove to be a problem. People noticed pretty people. That kind of attention was the last thing they needed. Erik was going to have to scrounge up something for the kid before they waltzed back into Heliodor. Neither of them were going back to jail, not if he could help it.

Erik went through an abbreviated explanation for everything that had happened after their leap of faith, overplaying the old nun's assistance and downplaying the likely mystical aspects of their survival. He didn't know why exactly, but he had the strangest feeling that the kid had no idea of what it meant to be the Luminary. Granted, Erik didn't really have much of an idea about it either. Something about saving the world and being the chosen hero of… something. Everybody knew about the Legend of Erdwin, the first Luminary, but not many folks could tell you any details about what Erdwin had actually done. Saved the world, sure, but how exactly had he done that? Well, Erik supposed they'd figure that out one way or another. But first thing's first.

He let the old nun give the Luminary the down low of what all was going on. The kid cringed slightly when the old lady waxed on about the dangerous Darkspawn, but thankfully managed to keep his cool. Good. That was a good sign. Erik sure didn't want to have to factor the kid possibly freaking out into their next course of action. A hero needed to keep it together anyway, right? Something like that. It wasn't hard at all to convince the Luminary to go along with Erik's plan once they'd bid the old nun farewell. And the nice little hood Erik had swiped from the church's stores fit the kid like a glove, so that problem was solved. Though…

"Try to keep your eyes to the ground while we're in town, they're a little too luminous to miss head on," Erik advised. The kid nodded his understanding. Oh yeah, that was something else he needed to fix too. "By the way, I haven't caught your name just yet. You know mine, so it's only fair."

"Oh," the kid had been pretty straightforward up until now, but at this he seemed a bit hesitant. Something wrong with telling Erik his name? "It's Eleven."

Erik blinked. What? Eleven what? What was the kid talking about? Was this some weird Luminary thing? "Eleven?" Erik repeatedly doubtfully.

The kid ducked his head down in what looked to be embarrassment, then reached up and scratched nervously at the side of his neck. "Yeah, that's my name."

"Oh," Erik said dumbly. That was… Well, that was certainly an odd choice in names, but who was Erik to judge? No one had a choice in how oddball their parents turned out to be in naming things. Besides, he'd definitely heard weirder ones in his time. Some folks, thieves in particular, were really kind of nuts about that stuff and went all out with stupid titles related to all sorts of outlandish crap. At least the kid's parents hadn't had the gall to name him Erdwin. That would have been really stupid and way too obvious. Eleven, huh? Erik could get used to that. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Eleven," Erik said cheerfully, emphasizing his statement pointedly with a jaunty two fingered salute and a sunny smile, "I have a feeling that this is the beginning of a beautiful partnership."

Even hidden in that hood, Eleven's relieved smile shone through.

---

The trek up to the city was uneventful for the most part, though Eleven displayed an alarming habit of trotting off the beaten path to go shove a tree or cut off a sprig of something to put in his bag. It was alarming because every single time it happened Erik wasn't expecting it at all, though it was interesting in a way. Here Erik had been assuming he was the veteran at all things survival related and the kid was already showing him up. He ought to stop doing that too. Eleven really wasn't a kid, and by Erik's reckoning, was only a few years younger than him. A young hero, but one old enough to make his own way in the world… with Erik's help.

Downtown Heliodor hadn't changed at all since Erik's arrest. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to feel relieved at that or concerned. It was still the same old sprawling mass of rickety buildings populated by loud, obnoxious people. Even the smell hadn't changed. Erik would almost consider it a home of sorts, but it wasn't. Home was the people you loved, not the places you lived in, and by that measure, Heliodor could never be a home to him. But it had served its purpose well enough. It had given him a roof over his head and an everchanging throng of marks to nick valuables off of. Maybe he'd come back once everything was said and done, but he doubted it. The only thing he really wanted from this place now was the Orb.

It wasn't where it was supposed to be. What the-? There was no Red Orb to be found anywhere in the garbage pile, and the place where they'd hidden it didn't look like it had been disturbed all that much. Didn't make any sense… unless…

He hadn't thought about Derk much during his incarceration, hadn't thought he'd needed to. Derk had always been a smart cookie and hadn't been anywhere near Erik when he'd gotten snatched by the knights. Besides, out of the two of them, Derk was the one with the real survival instincts. He'd always been able to find his way out of a jam. One way or another. That said, right about now, it sure looked like Derk's survival instincts included a nice big helping of stabbing Erik in the back. That dirty rotten-

Betrayal wasn't really a feeling Erik was all that familiar with. He generally didn't get close enough to folks to even make it a possibility. But he'd been close to Derk, had trusted the man with nearly everything. They'd been partners. Erik was livid. He was going to make Derk cough up that damned Orb if it was the last thing he did. He just needed to find out where the traitor was holed up at. Which meant it was time to go have a chat with Ruby. She'd know where that son of a- No. He needed to stop that. Erik took a deep, calming breath. If he didn't get it together, then he'd start ranting, which was never a good thing. Keep it calm and collected, at least until he got his hands on Derk.

Thankfully, he hadn't managed to run Eleven off with his snit. Did having the patience of a saint come with the whole Luminary package deal, or was he just naturally even keeled? It was a good thing either way, because Erik had ended up needing Eleven's help to track Ruby down. She hadn't been in when he'd gone to call on her at the inn. Of course not, why would anything be easy for him? She didn't really have good news for him either. The only way Derk could have opened up a shop anywhere was if he'd sold that damn Orb. That dirty rat.

Getting into uptown turned out to be a fairly painless process. That one sentry was never going to get promoted from his station in downtown, not unless he dealt with that ridiculous fear of dogs he had. Not that it was really any concern of Erik's, oh no, that fear worked ever so well in their favor. Convincing the little girl to let them borrow her dog for a short while probably would have been annoying without his inability to not snatch things or Eleven's inability to not pick up stuff in the great outdoors. The holy water Erik had nabbed at the church when he'd been digging for something to hide Eleven's pretty face served them well, and the berries Eleven had knocked out of a tree on the way into town cinched the deal. One eager doggie and one terrified sentry fleeing his post coming right up.

Uptown at least smelled better than downtown, but that was about the only good difference between the two. Heliodor proper was still stuffed full of loud, obnoxious people that Erik just had no use for at this point. He wanted that damn Orb back in his hands along with Derk's face bashed in for good measure. They had to wait til nightfall to make their way across the roofs into the "noble's quarters", but thankfully that hadn't been too far off. Not enough time for Erik to stew, which was just as well. He would have just gone barreling up on his own, endangering himself foolishly when he knew better. Having Eleven along with him kept him grounded. Being here was risk enough, he couldn't push their luck any further by acting on impulse. Or at least, that's what he tried to tell himself. Erik was still fuming though. Some partner.

If there was one good thing about everything that had happened, a silver lining if you would, it was the fact that most of the knights were absent from town while they tried to hunt down the Darkspawn. That left far too few guards to watch out for a couple of shadows slinking inbetween the rich people houses. If some other thieves weren't taking advantage of this boon gifted to them by the "evil" Luminary, Erik would eat Eleven's bag without emptying it first.

His reunion with Derk turned out to be a lot more surprising than Erik thought it would be, a lot less violent too. Go figure. It provided him with an explanation for why the guards in his cell block had been so out to lunch. Bribes worked ever so well on the bored and disillusioned, and having to play babysitters to criminals would have brought out those two feelings in droves. It still left Erik with the problem of getting his hands back on the Orb though. The Kingsbarrow was all the way out on the Emerald Coast. That would be quite the journey. Best to get Eleven back to Cobblestone first, though Erik highly doubted they'd be staying there for long. Hendrik and his posse weren't the type to give up easily, if at all. They'd have to hotfoot it out of the kingdom soon if they wanted any sort of peace. Well, they'd end up on the Emerald Coast anyway, maybe Erik could finagle their way onto a ship or something. Eh, he could figure it out once they got there. They had to get through the Manglegrove first before any of that would even matter and that was going to be quite the task. Erik was not looking forward to it, but needs must.

Derk wished them well, and asked no questions about Eleven. Smart man. Not that Erik thought that Derk would make anything of it, not now at least, but sometimes it was just better to not know. As long as the powers that be in Heliodor were acting completely bonkers over the Luminary being the Darkspawn, it just wasn't safe to know anything about Eleven's situation. Which meant it was time to skedaddle for good. Cobblestone by way of the Manglegrove ought to be quite the trip.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Regrets 6

A/n: Smut 

Link to Chapter 5

Words: 1, 527

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader 

_______

“Hey sweetheart. Miss me?”

Gabriel stood completely straight and motionless as you peeped around his arm. He used his elbow to push you behind him again.

“Don't talk to her!”

Gabriel snapped. His eyes started to glow for a moment before going back to his normal golden color. Loki raised an eyebrow before sitting back down. He clearly wasn't the least bit threatened by the archangel, even though it would have be wise to be so.

“Awe look at you Gabriel. Being the protective boyfriend. That is definitely a change of character. Thanks for keeping my girl safe. You can leave now.”

You could feel Gabriel starting to tremble with rage. Reaching out, you wrapped your arm around his waist. It wasn't like you would be able to stop him if he did start freaking out.

“Gabe, don't listen to him.”

You whispered softly. Gabriel didn't move. He wasn't about to hurt you! It didn't matter how angry he was!

“I am not going anywhere and she is my girl not yours. She doesn't like you. No one does.”

Loki raised an eyebrow.

“Funny that you say that, old friend. When she was with me before she was happy. I could make her moan like you probably never can. I never disappeared nor disappointed her like a certain archangel that I know. You two as a couple is really amusing! I have to say that Y/n must have been desperate for companionship to be with you. Sorry Gabriel, but with all of your issues I would think that you would be unlovable. Maybe she just wanted someone pathetic to have to look after.”

The lights in the room began to flicker. You wanted nothing more than to reach over and smack Loki as hard as you could. Part of you wondered if he was just a hologram at the moment. Was Loki really stupid enough to test and archangel and almost full power? The real answer to the question was how lucky was the demigod feeling?

“Gabe, don't listen to him.”

You whispered. If something happened between Gabriel and Loki at the moment there would be no way that you would be able to stop it. Gabriel pulled away from you before stepping closer to Loki.

“Get out of here! I'll face you soon enough and I'll show you weak.”

Loki smirked.

“Why wait? Let's see how tough you are.”

Gabriel shook his head before looking back at you. The petrified expression on your face was what stopped him. He wasn't about to do anything that would scare you any worse.

“No, I am not doing anything in front of Y/n. When I get you alone though...you won't be walking around with your smug as fuck expression much longer. I can promise you that.”

Loki crossed his arms over his chest. He looked back at you batting his eyes.

“Look forward to it. Unit then...cheers.”

Loki disappeared as quickly as he appeared. Gabriel didn't move and you were slightly afraid to yourself. After a few quiet moments you reached out touching the small of his back.

“Sweetheart?”

“Everything is fine.”

Gabriel said in a monotone voice. Rolling your eyes you moved to stand in front of him.

“Yeah and I was born yesterday. Gabriel, I don't want you to listen to what he said and I really don't want you going after him.”

Gabriel's face took on an apologetic expression.

“Sorry, Y/n. I have to now. Knowing that he wants to take you from me....I can't just sit around and do nothing.”

You look down at the ground miserably. Gabriel's hand was on your chin titling your face to his.

“I don't want you to worry. This is me that we are talking about.  I think I am going to come out ahead. Baby girl, I am lot stronger than I was. Now where were we before that jackass showed up?”

Gabriel was relieved to see you smile. As much as he wanted to throw a tantrum then go off after Loki, you needed him more. You needed him there with you. There was too much at stake in your relationship!

“You were about to kiss me.”

Gabriel's eyes were immediately serious and lust filled as he snapped his fingers; leaving the two of you sitting on the couch. You were sitting on his lap with one leg on each side of his body. His hand went up your dress squeezing a cheek.

“Mhm, I was about to press my lips to those ruby red ones then have my way with you. Trust me sugar, I will be thinking about what it feels like to have that mouth of yours wrapped around my cock or how it feels to be balls deep in that pussy of yours.”

When you blushed, Gabriel's face went ecstatic. He threw your hair over your shoulder  before licking a path down your neck to the valley of your cleavage.

“Did I just make my little witch blush? I think I can do better.”

He snapped his fingers leaving you naked on his lap. You looked down at his still clothed body with a frown.

“Not fair! You still have your clothes on!”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

“All the better to tease you with, my dear.”

He began to rock his hips into you. You whimpered as his erection began to dig into your already wet pussy.

“You are getting my jeans wet.”

He said with a frown. You reached out yanking his shirt open. Buttons flew everywhere! Gabriel looked around before turning back to you.

“I rather liked that shirt.”

You laughed as you took his hands and placed them on your breasts. Gabriel cleared his throat as he began to massage and tweek at your nipples. You whined as he began to rock his hips again.

“Do that little snapping thing that you do. Fix it right up, angel.”

You elongated the word angel because you knew that was a trigger to get him hot.

“Sugar.”

He half whined.  You pushed him back further against the couch. Leaning forward, you began to stroke you fingers through his hair. The other hand caressed his now obvious erection that was straining against his jeans.

“You like it when you make me blush don't you? Have your way with me, Gabriel. Make love to me like you used to. You can tie me to the bed. I'll be your good little submissive, just like you like. I like it when you bend me over whenever you want to fuck the living daylights out of me. When you touch me I could just come apart. I love you, angel.”

Gabriel's eyes snapped open.

“You mean like this?”

The next thing that you knew Gabriel had you bent over the table. His lips were kissing down your thighs while his finger ran down your slit.

“Someone is nice and wet. I want to taste that.”

“Oh fuck, Gabe.”

You whimpered as his tongue took the place of his finger. He licked down you slight before pushing your legs apart to suck at your clit. It took all of your power to stop yourself from rocking your hips.

“Fuck, sugar. I see why you have me addicted to you. You taste better than any candy out there. I'm going to fuck you now. I want that tight little pussy squeezing me tight. I want you to make me come hard, princess!”

Gabriel's words alone made you come apart on his fingers that had again began massaging your clit.

“I like when I can make you come by words alone.”

Before you knew what hit you, Gabriel's cock was shoving inside of you. Both of you moaned as Gabriel began to rock his hips. It took your body a moment to get used to having him stretch you. Sex with Ketch wasn't this good. Sex with any of the others that you had slept with weren't this good! No one could compare with the archangel inside of you

Looking over your shoulder, you smiled at Gabriel's sex hair. His golden curls were all over the place at he focused on the sensations going through both of your bodies.

“Fuck, princess...so close.”

You were surprised that he was coming for fast. This was not typical Gabriel behavior. Maybe it was just the lust of not being with you for some time. Feeling him beginning to get almost bigger inside of you was enough encouragement to make you get instantly closer.

“Damn it!”

Gabriel swore as he felt your body beginning to spasm around him. Seconds later he was coming inside of you. Gabriel leaned his head against the top of your spine. He pressed a soft kiss to your body before slowly pulling out.

“How about we go check out that big shower in there? As you know shower sex can be quiet fun?”

You smirked as Gabriel pulled you into the bathroom after him....

______

@sumara62

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[sonipanda]

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My Deets

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Shoes: Carvela

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All tights benefit from a little TLC.

If you have time, treat yours to a hand wash using lukewarm water and a mild detergent. If not, a delicate cycle in the washing machine should keep your tights in perfect condition.

Every pair of Heist tights comes with a dustbag, to keep them tidy and safe in your underwear drawer.

    The Packaging: now I gotta go in on the packaging for this. I love the way they came as soon as they were posted through the door. Now as I bought two, they came like this, so I wonder what they’re like when I only order 1 pair?

So they have their own parcel packaging which I think is absolutely amazing. When you get in, you come across a slim-line box, and as soon as you open it you see the hosiery sitting side by side.

Underneath these, there are two small hosiery bags to keep your tights in to preserve the quality of them, which is super amazeballs!

  So when you get inside the slim black packaging (opening like a envelope), you find the hosiery wrapped around a thin long card:

We know you’re busy

But below are a few things you may want to know about your brand new Heist tights.

How to show your Heist tights a bit of love.

After figuring out whether the yarn is softer than a Siberian goose or a particularly fluffy labradoodle, use the traditional ‘bunched up fabric over foot’ approach to put them on.

 So far so tights. Now for the uniquely Heist bit…

When you pull up the tights, grab a hold of a bunch of leg fabric as well as the waistband. In other words, don’t yank up the tights just holding the waistband. No matter how excited you are. 

That’s it. Leap, prance, or just get on with your day.

Tights myths debunked.

Putting you tights in a freezer doesn’t work.

The clear nail varnish tricks deliver mixed results.

Cacti and cat claws are not your friends.

The boring washing bits.

We love tights, so it’ll be no surprise that we recommend washing them by hand in lukewarm water. 

But we know you’ve probably got better things to do than scrub nylons in a sink, so we’ve designed them to love spinning around in your washing machine. 

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I love how detailed they go about their product on that piece of card. It’s such a great idea for newbies who don’t really do tights on a regular basis (or not at all)!

  Getting Them On: so I did what the card told me to do – even though I tend to do that anyways but I don’t go into great detail about how I roll up. This time I’m gonna do it without gloves to test this ‘durability’ they rave on about 🙂

Now not gonna lie … before I got them on, I saw a few little snags which really did miff me off and that was before I started the scrunch and roll. But I will get into that a little further down.

So over anklets, I took extra care as I don’t wanna be snagging them up, and they went over them completely fine.

  On The Legs: so let’s get down to it.

First let me talk about the denier; it’s 30 which looks about right on the legs to be honest. It looks great with patterned dresses and skirts to help make those legs look good, or even if you rocked with plain attire, it would still be nice.

The fit of them I have to say were pretty good; they hugged the legs well but then during the day I saw these have some really weird marking in the tights. it looked as if they had been pulled too much so the yarns were expanding a little. I can’t say these were tight on the legs or I had to tug them too much, but I was a little disappointed there.

The feel of them I have to say I wasn’t feeling; they aren’t as soft as you think, but that’s my opinion. I found them to feel a little rough and grainy, and I saw that on my legs too which wasn’t that pretty to look at.

Now the snagging; I am super annoyed. These are supposed to be durable and last, but I ended up with so many during the day. I can’t even say it’s my nails or anything doing it. These tights are meant to be pretty much snag-free, but that is something that I felt was lacking when I got this pair on – let alone it came with a snag already before I got them on the legs.

Not too happy here … Is Heist really that great?

  The Toes & Ankle: so onto the toes and ankle area. These are alright; not too sure if they are reinforced or not as it doesn’t state anywhere so I would be careful with long or sharp toenails wearing these as the last thing you want is a massive hole!

There is some wiggle room, but not as much as you would like; basically I couldn’t spread toes out and there were a few times I had to take my heels off to pinch the tights away from the toes to relieve some pressure.

Around the ankles, I didn’t encounter any issues, which is always a good thing. Just a nice smooth finish (no wrinkles or crinkles I mean by this).

  The Waistband & Gusset: now this is my favourite part; the band. It is super comfortable and one of the best bands I have tried to date. It is super smooth and just shapes really nicely to your body, making it feel like you haven’t got it around your waist. I love the thickness of it which gives you reassurance of that support. These are elasticated but not ones you can pull and stretch like you can with other tights; these are enough to fit your waist size.

Now the only downside here is that side image where you see that piece at the side and then those stretch markings on the tights which can easily be covered but I spent my day worrying about them pulling too much that they might end up ripping!

So these don’t have a gusset to them; it’s just pure sheer so not too sure what you commando-ers are gonna do here!

    My Thoughts?

Honestly… I don’t know about these. I personally think there is so much hype around them, and for me these didn’t deliver. I found the quality to be quite poor, and with all those snags and markings it has put me off them to be honest.

Don’t get me wrong, my legs look great in them and all that, but I like to go for pairs that actually are worth the money that you pay for them. I found these to be ok price wise, but not something I would recommend to followers if they’re after a decent quality pair.

Sorry Heist – not got my vote this time!

Let’s see how tomorrow’s review in the nude goes!

Heist ‘The Thirty’ Tights So after seeing adverts and hype about these tights, I decided to get myself a pair (or two) and give them a go myself!