#i think. lol gotta reread my own writing

[helianthus21]

excuse the bad pics as always (low quality book that's already falling apart) but i feel so validated having written this part before even reading qotd:

[cerealmonster15]

rereading my fics is like a constant cycle of being like "teehee that was funny. oh god that line was cringe. hehe that was funny. wait why did i say that 😑. hehe. wait i forgot about that part. hang on didnt i plan to write xyz into this why did i never get to that. teehee that was funny-"

[aeternallis]

Kim's Place in the Mafia: Novel vs Show

The one thing I can say without a doubt in my mind is that from the crumbs we get of Kim and Chay from the book and show, these two are obsessively in love with each other. So I'll say that now and get that squared away.

And I know, most of the fandom detest the book due to its problematic authors and will never read it, and that's completely valid. Furthermore, I will say now that the book is trash and hardly coherent at times. But as my favorite English scholar for Ancient Rome, Mary Beard, once said: "It's trash...but it's very valuable trash."

For what it's worth, reading the book at least once can provide a more nuanced understanding of why the showrunners made the changes they did in the show. The changes in and of themselves makes for a more cohesive story (SOO MUCH MORE COHESIVE), but it also goes without saying that a lot of the events in the show remain faithful to the novel, so in that regard, there is some merit to be had.

Finally, when I say the novel is "trash", I mean the narrative itself, not necessarily the translation (although it's not perfect by any means). If anything, I'm grateful for the translators who took the time to translate this novel into English, since translation is a thankless job most times in fandom (lookin' at you, MDZS). As I speak no Thai whatsoever, I can’t give an informed opinion on DAEMI's technical writing abilities, since I'm not a native speaker, nor am I the book's target audience.

But, I digress.

The more I reread the book (in all its trash glory), the more I find myself questioning Kim's views in regards to how he sees himself as part of a mafia family. 🤔

In the book, Kim is a lot more accepting of his place within the mafia, despite his initial tendencies of disappearing on his guards and staying away from the main house. In fact, that pretty much changes once Chay enters the picture.

Gotta love a Kinn who's curious about his little bro's love life. XD

Kim is firmly settled into the fold of the family business (if that scene in the secret warehouse is anything to go by) and there’s a scene in the beginning of the book where Korn obligates all 3 sons to dress up in some fancy suits and visit their chocolate factory, since he’s particularly keen on getting it off the ground. This shows that although Kinn is set to inherit (in public, at least) the other two sons still have their duties to the family.

In fact, I will say that one of the most interesting things about reading the book is finding out that Kim's sleuthing is actually canon. Lol Granted, it's sleuthing more in regards to finding the mole and not really about Korn's game plan, but sleuthing nonetheless.

But in the show, his role within the family business and how he views it are a little bit more foggy because he has his musical career to keep him occupied, besides his sleuthing into Korn’s affairs. He’s not active in the way one would typically expect a member of the mafia to be (and who knows, this may be due to limited time constraints on the part of the showrunners), but he’s active within that sphere nonetheless.

And because of this, contrary to the general fandom consensus, I never really got the impression that Kim wanted to be out of the mafia, yknow? Personally, I think it’s too big of a leap to say him moving out = him not wanting to be in the mafia. Having that sort of character motivation wouldn't really make sense either, because then we would have had stronger hints of it, I think?

At the very least, by the end of the show, Kim--just like Chay--has more reasons to stay than not. The way I see it, Kim wanting to be out of the mafia would actually somewhat contradict his actions in the show.

Despite his effort in staying away from the mansion his father and brothers live in (and later on, Chay), Kim benefits from being a Theerapanyakul. We see this in a lot of different ways: the penthouse he lives in, the cars he drives (he gets his own set of the Maserati fleet, yo), his private studio, the freedom of movement he has in being able to easily get information (although this may be debatable), using Big as a gopher.

I highly doubt his career as a young musician is maintaining his luxurious lifestyle (perhaps only a part of it, like the fame); imo, there’s a calculated reason why BOC chose to keep the level of his fame as vague as possible. The way I see it, Kim moved out and pursued music simply because, due to his unique position of being the youngest son (aka the spare), he just had the luxury to do so.

If he truly wanted out of the mafia, I'm firmly on the camp that he could have done so already. We've seen in both the show and the book that unlike Kinn who's constrained by his duties, Kim does have the freedom to disappear, even to the point that it's to his detriment at times. Lol

Maybe I can go even further, and suggest that perhaps the reason he chose to move out is to get a better vantage point of the circumstances surrounding his father's schemes and the ongoing tides of power. Kinda like, he has to move away from the trees, in order to see the entire forest.

I wouldn't go so far as to say he wants power for himself (although this idea would be fun to entertain, especially within the context that he now has Chay in his life to protect), but again, being a member (a high-ranking one, at that) of the Theerapanyakul family benefits him in a lot of different ways.

In one of BOC's interviews and then in Jeff's goodbye message during the last KPWT, he mentioned something about Pond changing up Kim's character in order to make Jeff Satur shine. Idk about y'all, but that's quite a touching gesture, and one I definitely approve of, whilst I get a better understanding of the similarities and differences between novel!Kim and show!Kim. It's obvious from the show that besides changing Kim's maturity level and changing his image from a fuck boi to a cool prince, giving him a passion for music definitely humanized him and served as a way to balance out the other two love stories.

But be that as it may, although we the audience don't know as to what extent Pond changed Kim's character to better fit the story, at the very least maintaining Kim's position as a legitimate contender in the politics of the mafia world remains consistent in both the book and show.

Whether that observation lines up with the idea that he wants out of the mafia though, is entirely up to you. XD

[anarchy-and-piglins]

just hopping off "first fic i read from you" here, mine was "I Will Come Around When the Time for Sleep Is Through". it made such an impact on me, physically changed my brain chemistry, like wow. idk how many times i've reread it but MAN i love the premise and the writing and the everything so so so much. it's bby techno but also angst and the scene where tommy and phil go to the graves and the lines "theyre not dead but theyre still gone" and "phil would have told him how tired he was of losing everything that mattered" !!! living RENT FREE IN MY HEAD i tell you. RENT FREE.

i just. i love explorations of grief and like, how do you mourn someone who's technically still there but not really? how much of someone consists of memories & experiences, if those are wiped away are they really who they were before? and the characterization of how self-sacrificial techno is bc he seems to feel like he's the same in every lifetime (but he also doesn't deal with the emotional aftermath) but for phil, not so much bc he's the one who has to grieve by himself every time while also raising a toddler who's kind-of-maybe-used-to-be his best friend. ALSO the way phil's lived centuries and techno's never made it past 25 which speaks to so much loss, and how phil wishes techno would choose himself for once but idk if he would ever tell him that, you know? and even if so, if techno would actually ever choose himself because hes so undyingly loyal to the people he loves.

anyways. yeah.

i didn't have an ao3 account back then, i saved fics in my browser bookmarks like a maniac and i checked them every day. i remember VIVIDLY being so excited whenever i found an update for this one. now i stay updated via email notifs, which i gotta say, takes a lot less time. long story short <3333

Ah, this brings back some memories. How weird it feels to know I wrote that fic a good 3 years ago now. That's how long I've been obsessed with Techno... I have mixed feelings towards my old fics (I have mixed feelings towards all of my own writing lol, every artist is their own worst critic I guess) but there are some parts of that fic I really do still like a lot, the handling of grief is one of them. I'm glad it resonated with you so much, Anon. I think writing something that sticks with a person even years after they read it is every author's big dream, so I'm very honoured <3

[korrasamibottles]

I just reread the space between heartbeats and I suddenly need you to tell me everything about it! What gave you the idea for all the story beats and details???

Thank you so much for asking (and for re-reading?? Such an amazing compliment wow)!! I'm still completely floored by how sweet everyone has been about this fic....I wrote it from the heart so the positivity really means a lot😭 Also sorry this got so long oh my god lol.

Before I even started writing, I knew I wanted to come at the whole thing from Mako's perspective. He's such a complicated and fascinating character to me, and there's so much potential to explore how the trauma of witnessing his parents' murder and the depersonalization of having to be brother-father-protector-provider to a younger sibling while also still a child led to him being SO detached from his own wants and needs and feelings, and so used to thinking of himself as a tool rather than a person, that if somebody asked him point blank what he wanted his head would pop.

But maybe...after spending a lot of time around somebody who isn't afraid to openly want things and ask for them....Mako could start thinking about what HE wants, so that when somebody finally does ask him he's able to untangle his feelings enough to actually put them into words.....?

Mako's character has such a strong presence and I didn't want Wu to feel flat in comparison, or for it to seem like he was only there to further Mako's development, so I decided to give Wu the benefit of having the setting be all about him.

This also gave me an opening to show how Mako's influence could give Wu the push he needed to shake off the spoiled prince persona and become the more mature, compassionate man he always had the potential to be. We saw the beginnings of that in the show and in Ruins of the Empire, and I like to think they'll continue on that trajectory even though I'm not getting my hopes up for any wuko crumbs whatsoever in the Mako solo comic.

(Everyone already knows this because I never shut up about it, but what makes me so bonkers about wuko is the potential for them to bring out the best in each other. That kind of dynamic is fucking gold to me.)

Anyway. Once I had the POV and setting figured out, I had to give Mako a reason to be there, and I thought, well, he hasn't yet reached the point where he's able to admit he has feelings for Wu (even inside his own head) so the pretext of him deciding he had to keep Wu alive to protect the fragile democratization process felt right and seemed plausible.

The first two scenes came together from a few lines I poached from an unfinished korrasami wip....

"That's not–I'm not–we're just colleagues, Asami," he splutters convincingly.

"Yeah? So everyone at the precinct just hand-feeds each other moon peach slices in the morning, then? That's standard 'colleague' behavior?"

"Asami–"

"And right at the breakfast table," she whispers dramatically, shaking her head in mock disapproval and relishing how the blush has spread from his ears down his neck. "We all saw you practically purring into his hands, Mako. Like a damn octocat."

....and this bit of dialogue from the closet scene

“What kind of closet locks from the inside!?”

“You tell me! You grew up here!”

“Not in this closet!”

I turned the peach lines into a whole scene because I loved the idea of Wu being like "teehee I am getting him to try something new and fun" meanwhile Mako's like 3 seconds away from just snapping and sucking on Wu's fingers. Except it's rated T so. You know. Gotta be more subtle about it lol.

As for the closet dialogue....I'm a simple woman and I will never ever get tired of closet-themed jokes and accidents. My personal headcanon re: Wu's sexuality is that it was kind of like an open secret among the royal family. Like he'd flirt with women in public just to keep up appearances but really, everyone knew. Hence the "not in this closet!" line. To be clear, I don't think the royal family was ok with it, and I'm sure he suffered for it, but in this fic I positioned him further along in his own self-acceptance journey than Mako.

The next scene didn't unfold as easily, and I really, really struggled with it. Mako was a bit of a ticking time bomb by this point in the story–the tension had been rising for a while, and I knew it had to break eventually, but I wanted it to break in the right way.

I wrote several different versions, but every time the dialogue got away from me and it always ended the same way: with them getting into an actual argument and Mako storming out the door. And that was Not the vibe I was going for. I wanted more of an "oh fuck" moment rather than a "this guy is pissing me off and I have to get out of here" one. Mako has a tendency to get snappy in emotional situations, and that combined with him being an acts-of-service kind of person made the "it's my job to worry about you!" line finally click into place.

Deep down, Mako knows he's more than just a bodyguard to Wu, he knows how Wu feels about him, but he can't let himself really think about it. Because if he's more than his work, more than just a tool to be used, if Wu wants him around simply because he enjoys his company and not because Mako is providing a service, then that means Mako's entire sense of self is built on a lie. That's a terrifying realization, with or without the added element of internalized homophobia (and I had to add it. For maximum angst.)

I knew I wanted the fic to end with Mako realizing that the way he'd been operating simply wasn't healthy or sustainable, followed by a dramatic confession of feelings, but how to get there? Well why not invent a weird old bug woman. I thought a sort of grandmotherly figure might be somebody Mako would take seriously, and also I selfishly just wanted a woman in the story lol.

I honestly don't know where the ant spiral idea came from–maybe it's something I learned about as a kid that's been haunting the crevices of my brain for years. But it felt like an interesting way to symbolize how Mako was on a self-destructive path of repeating the same harmful behaviors over and over. If he kept depriving himself of meaningful connections, never stepped outside his comfort zone, continued avoiding learning how to process his emotions, and kept letting his fear and his pain decide what he was and wasn't allowed to want, he'd only keep inadvertently hurting himself and the people he cares about. That sort of thing. But he's stubborn, and needed to figure it out himself, so I let Qin Li give him the pieces (dare I say peaches?) so he could put it all together.

The final scene was written in its entirety at the auto shop, because apparently that's where my muse lives. Great place to write, can't recommend broken cars highly enough. Anyway, I wanted his eventual admission to feel like removing a giant splinter, which is to say: extremely painful and strained, but a huge relief once it's out. Difficult as it was, he needed to actually verbalize that shit not only for himself but also because it wouldn't have been fair for Wu to have to be in a relationship with somebody who couldn't even admit the feelings were real. And of course I had to have Wu jump into his arms at some point. Couldn't resist :)

One other thing I just thought about (and can't figure where to put it in this post, so I guess I'll just stick it here) is that I had fun giving both of them weird little quirks. Like Mako being an anxious/compulsive skin picker and Wu being fidgety and refusing to wear his glasses.

OH YEAH ONE MORE THING. Mako yanking on the doorknob in the closet was 100% a euphemism. For something.

[herbofgraceandpeace]

My informal review of The Last Graduate (here be spoilers)

Well, I just finished The Last Graduate, and I’m just sitting with all my muscles clenched in tension and sorrow, lol

But seriously, what an interesting ending……I’m not sure what to make of it yet? The narrative was leading you to expect a big push/big sacrifice from El when something inevitably went wrong, and I was hoping that everything would simply go right (obviously), but I wasnt unaware of Orion’s opportunity to make the self-sacrifice play. WAS IT NECESSARY THOUGH???? *insert look how they massacred my boy meme. i think i read way too much of this book late last night (whoops), so my comprehension of it is not as developed as with the first book (shame on me for reading too fast like a glutton), but what a great sequel! I liked watching El wrestle with learning to trust people and work as a team, I loved watching her relationship with sisters sorry her friends develop, and I loved the growth of her relationship with Orion as well*. I will say I think his character has been a little underutilized at times, in a way not untypical for a romantic interest of either gender, but Novik that’s my mannnnnnnnnnnn, I wanna read about him! But we definitely did get some good scenes that developed he and El’s relationship and seemed the seeds for some of his own character development (let this man GROW). I’m not sure yet how I think the ending plays into that. If Patience-Fortitude was truly going to recenter the world, then his sacrifice was noble and necessary. But if it wasn’t, then why does my precious child need to kill it himself instead of letting El cast it into the void, hmmm? Side note: I loved El finally coming to appreciate the Scholomance cause I was freaking devastated by her willingness to condemn it. Maybe if I had suffered as much as she had, I’d hate my Alma mater too, but the loss of a place you know so well, a place where you have the happy memories of making your first friends—that’s gotta count for something, right?

I forgot to mention this in my review of A Deadly Education, but El’s Mom and their relationship is so important. God bless her, I’d love to meet her. I’d be exasperated at her character role as the Sole Voice of Truth and Goodness, except that’s the truths attributed to her are valuable, nuanced, and beautiful, and her knowledge of them makes sense in the context of how she has chosen to live her life. A life of uncomprising, open-hearted service and self-sacrifice teaches you a lot! Which brings us to one of my favorite bits of the book. I adore that Novik, Scholomance, and El all realize that you have to be faithful in the little moments because they shape you!!!! She had grown accustomed to saving the freshman instead of sacrificing them for her own benefit, and this shaped her character and prepared her to realize and then do what needed to be done to save them all. (I have so many good quotes saved without page numbers, so you’ll get those later, but boy howdy, these books have so beautiful things to say)

I’m so, so invested in what’s going to happen in the next book, but I’m not ready to have finished this delightful trilogy either. They’re going to be great rereads for sure! Here’s hoping things turn out okay for Orion (also why did El’s mother warn her off him? We do not know.) I’d love to see El get to change the world with her tiny enclaves, despite my dislike of large stakes in a story since they often render the plot unwieldy to the point of disbelief. It’s hard to write a story about something that changes the world without either 1. Writing Lord of the Rings or 2. Being massively and disgustingly reductive about what it takes to change the world and the u comfortable, uncontrollable consequences of doing so. Nevertheless, I am ready to be hurt again!

*I am once again asking for people not to put sex scenes in books. Please. Don’t do it. Ever.

[wannaeatramyeon]

HELLO Tom and Olly anon here. DUDE YESSS You absolutely should if you ever get the time or want to!! I personally think they have alot of potential esp with Olly with his absolutely tragic backstory and how "Big Daddy" became, he's got layers and complexity to him, going from an actual really good mannered scholar little boy on the top of his class to an insanely strong numb druggie gangster training under Gun and running Hostel for a while. Even his Hostel members are really amazing and I love all of them so dearly, Chuck Peng and Justin Kwak alongside James Gong(literal crazy ass bitch, Olly 2.0, he's my everything) and Jasmine(rooting for her with James, they deserve each other). I do also majorly love brothers Chuck and Justin but honestly they don't got much going after Olly's death, except for their lil food stand.

Tom on the other hand is kindaa just...big papa? Not alot in terms of backstory and complexity imo I don't think but his character is absolutely hilariously terrifying and so entertaining, and he has a very interesting stance on like...romance? Sensual stuff? I don't even know what to call it, his continuous blabber about women and Ms Kim and dangglers and whatnot. And per Ms. Kim reaction to him saving her and also Minseon Kang calling him an ugly motherfucker, I think it's safe to say he isn't quite, a chick magnet, in the usual pretty boy sense? So l've always let my mind wonder on about that untapped rusted over faucet that is interactions with him.

Super sorry l'm just spilling in the asks, I just wanna share my own little blabbers and thoughts to boost your interest if you still are.😭💖 Thank you for reading over if you did! AH AND ALSO very much thank you for the link last time, you are literally serving us buffets of thoughts, 600+ is insane!!! And your interpretations of the characters are So good its arms in arms with canon stuff honestly, I’d say its super accurate or at least enough to be able to envision the characters acting like that. 🥹🥹💖🙏🙏

Hello Tom and Olly Anon (this made me lol). Yknow I was actually thinking about Olly today. Man I really really need to reread the chapters cos I gotta be honest you've piqued my interest!

I am also really hoping James and Jasmine and their deranged army of lil Eli Jangs make a reappearance cos that shit was so interesting.

Tom is a harder sell for me to take seriously or at least with the stuff I usually write which is sorta fluffy, occasional crack. Maybe the crack fits him better cos all the dangler comments (whether actually serious or not) is all I can remember of him lmao.

Aww thank you for being so sweet! I think the overall fandom has done a lot with adding to the characters tbh, and talking about them with other people has helped so much with fleshing them out! And then in turn, I'm a lil gremlin in a darkened corner churning out my brainrot and headcanons 😁

[j2zara]

YAAAAAAY EHEH I GET TO SEND YOU A BUNCH OF ASKS 💖💖💖💖💖(<- these ones are just me being excited)

💖📥👀📊🍰🌝💻🧠

HIIIII SORRY THIS TOOK ALL DAY im so exhausted which is why i feel like my answers are not the best but here u go

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

Argh…. Ngl i sent this one to more than one person in the circle of perverts bc I want to force ppl to say nice things abt themselves and now i gotta do the same thing. I feel like my answer before this year would’ve been my dialogue!!!!!!! Like. I do think i’m good at that. It’s hard to even say that because I feel like when I do enjoy a good quip and i feel like whenever i reread my original stuff im like “oh. I’m so marvel brained”. I don’t think dialogue is my strength in cloneverse tho.  At least. I don’t think it stands out. But otherwise that’s what i would land on.

Maybe it’s bc i’ve been in a very sorry for myself slump lately bc my current wip is giving me such a struggle but i don’t even know. Before now and my latest wip driving me crazy I would’ve said. Maybe coherence or theming? Like i don’t even know if thats a thing i CAN say like is it possible to be good at themes? Sorry im being so hard on myself rn I think if i were to look at my writing i would say i think it’s halfway decent but i don’t know the answer to the question…

📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?

Oh this is an interesting one. For such a long time the answer would’ve been my old Talentswap fic for DR, tbh it always was like. Surprising and honestly kinda nice to get like a random comment of someone being like ‘hey i just discovered this! Sad its not updating but i really enjoyed it!” something like that. And I think b/c it was multichap it was very interesting and different when ppl were reading Almost for sure.

My secret weird answer is IYWD. Like. I’m at peace with the fact that its practically dead and nobody is gonna find it again i guess but a small part of me still considers it my favorite thing i’ve done in a long time so nobody does comment anymore but. That would be the thing i secretly kinda want. I’ll take literally anything tho obviously i love anybody that ever comments on anything.

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

I have a Love is Blind au for a fandom I’m not gonna mention. Idk i might’ve mentioned it somewhere but eh. Its like ten chapters but only the first 5-ish are done i’m kinda 

And i’ve talked abt this this isn’t really a. Like. Oh I’m hiding this forever thing but. I have a DR Togakure hookup fic that’s written like. To take place during a naegiri wedding like in the post first game canon. And it is one of my favorite things i’ve ever written even tho it is smut, ngl my friends have been trying to convince me to post it and i might but im genuinely terrified nobody is gonna read it and im gonna be. Sad about it

📊 Current number of WIPs

Lol um… lj3porter fic. I’m two sentences into twelfth night coded j2 wooing Jace for Porter fic. Unfinished creeper Jace + j2porter fic…  a Jace topping Zara zarajaceporter fic. A fic that is in the IYWD verse that’s like a prequel that’s normal SB related. And if we could old fandoms I have semi abandoned talent swap (the ch 3.3 doc is like 10k lmao). Love is blind au.

If we’re counting original projects. My fantasy pseudo taming retelling. Horror comedy / locked room mystery called Date / Die. I have a. Sports romance (don’t look at me). And my weird lofty rom com thing that is this decade spanning story and used to be abt a “platonic” romance but idk I was like. They’re best friends they’re the most important ppl in the world to each other and they like having sex does that make this a normal romance. Maybe. Maybe not.

So ten. Yikes.

🍰 Name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave).

This is such a weird pull b/c i haven’t read it in years but Wing Man is a Bokuaka fic thats one of my fav of all time that makes me so happy idk its so like. Sweet and tbh i feel bad i never commented on it i really should bc they deserve to know i still think about it. but i just don’t reread fic all that often even my favs.

Actually that’s a lie i just remembered! I’ll cite something recent and i’m a little shy to cite something from the circle of perverts but also this is completely sincere i know i jokingly call @innskeep bambi’s LJ3 fic the perfect piece of fiction all the time but i do reread it… I just like them. I think it’s really cute and i like my little guys…  I love getting J3’s pov so much like i genuinely think its so comforting and special…

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

I won’t lie I have a total DurDawn soft spot so like. I do think it wouldn’t fun to write something small for them. Also fucking hilarious as zukkacore that I’ve never written zukka and like. In my heart I would like too but they’re almost too precious for that? It’s hard to explain. Actually another answer might be for Mailee I actually think Mailee is soooooo underrated as a ship bc they have so much potential to be good for each other that wasn’t able to foster under azula’s thumb so I like that slightly toxic edge 

💻 Do you do research for your fics? What’s the deepest dive you’ve done?

I do a little bit of research but honestly not at much as i should. Last super deep dive i did was on the different filipino mythologies and history throughout the different regions bc ithink that subject is so interesting. but that has nothing to do with the sb circle that was for my own stuff. Lately I had to look up a little bit of elvish for something sb related lol. im such a fake fan of LOTR i love it but i’ve never actually read the books

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

A few! I’ve talked abt Jace hireling au I think that would be fun. And I joke abt Clone gamechanger au all the time and I SAID I wanted to try and make it work so like. Maybe. I’d love to try clone gamechanger au i think its funny and cute and i wanna do something indulgent.I feel like i’m forgetting something. Jess has real estate in j2porter vegas roleplay so i kinda wanna try maybe doing J2porter 50s housewife roleplay as a sort of sequel? I still like the idea of doing a You’ve Got Mail Shop Around the Corning fic. And. I feel so so so so indulgent wanting to write LJ3 stuff but like i just like them. I don’t know what i would wann write for them but i just like them

[mermaidsirennikita]

Ok, so maybe this question is too broad. But what are your hands down favorite sex scenes in contemporaries? Just the scenes you return to again and again?

Sex scene questions are NEVER too broad. The depiction of sex in media is one of my favorite things to talk about, for srs or for "YOU GOTTA SEE/READ THIS" purposes.

Soooo lol I left a few Sierra Simone books off the "angstiest contemporaries" list because while they are not paranormal or whatever, sometimes her New Camelot-verse books feel too... intense? But whatever they're contemporary and these books have some of my favorite sex scenes ever so YA GETTING THEM.

(Among, as it turns out, many other scenes from many other books.)

New Camelot:

American Queen--Embry deflowering Greer which has a) surprise virgin b) possessive dark Embry content, which is some of my FAVORITE content in that series; the whole "talking to my groom on the phone while riding the best man's face and listening to him jack off and we're actually all kinda sad about it" scene--Ash giving Embry to Greer as a wedding present is SOOOO FUCKED but SOOOOO GOOD; the wedding night scene with the first threesome hell fucking yeah

American Prince--Ash and Embry's first time in the flashback with all the blood and the "you look beautiful in the moonlight"-ing; Embry and Greer's hardcore CNC scene where it begins as like, therapeutic playacting and evolves into it being THEM and one of the central conflicts of the series (Embry and Greer love Ash but are both so devoted to Ash that they also, especially Embry, resent his presence because they need their own space together) and then at the end he sees her in the full light and like gasps in horror because she's covered in bite marks and bruises and she's like :D about it because Greer is a freak; the "blindfold you with a Mt. Rushmore tie and blow you to express my eterrrrnal gratitude scene; the "let's make Greer feel better" kinda fucked up green apple scent threesome; the "Ash is very sads because his first wife died so he shows up in the rain and fucks the shit out of Embry to cope" flashback; Greer thinking that Embry Cheated On The Polycule and being like "WELCOME HOME CHEATER" and asking him if Abilene's pussy is as sweet as hers before he's like "THERE'S NOBODY SWEETER" and drops to his knees to eat her out while she's standing.

He's my faaavorite.

American King: OBVIOUSLY, the "it's a very sad occasion and The Polycule Measure Is Being Threatened So We're Gonna Have A Threesome For Three Chapters" scene, AMAZING, shoutout for Embry being balls deep in Greer and before Ash can put it in being all "I THINK WE SHOULD DISCUSS OUR RELATIONSHIP AND ITS BOUNDARIES" and Ash being like "are you fucking kidding me" before just forging ahead, one of the funniest things I've Ever read; the Greer/Embry reunion sex where he comes inside her super quick and is like "WHOOPS SORRY" and eats her out immediately after; the "Embry Lost So He Gets Mild CBT" scenes which fr is one of the filthiest things I've EVER READ; the "Ash Lost So He Gets Face Fucked" scene, largely because of "the might Maxen Colchester has a gag reflex" ugh kill me; the "Embry fucks Ash with a dildo in the sex club" flashback; Ash and Embry's Last First, CRYING TEARS.

Writing all that out (and look dude, when I say I reread those scenes a lot, I AM SERIOUS) I realize there isn't a single solo Ash/Greer scene, and it's not that I don't love them, but they have the least FRAUGHT sex scenes so it's less memorable. Like, my favorite Ash/Greer sex scene is in American Queen after he finds out Embry had sex with her first and he's super jealous of both of them (and she doesn't... fully realize that yet) and fucks her being like "AND DID HE DO THIS??? AND THIS?????". It's great love that content.

Salt in the Wound: the scene where Mark takes Isolde's virginity with fingers on and is like "LOOK AT YOU DOING SO GOOD" while she cries and fully realizes that she is a true masochist, 'twas very hot

Salt Kiss: obviously, the entire "deflowering of Tristan" saga lmao, but ESPECIALLY when Mark is like "Tristan I've fucked you like twice in the last hour I'm not gonna fuck you again" and Tristan goes ":(" only for that sentence to end with ".... so instead you get to eat my ass while I sit on your face, LUCKY YOOOOOOU". I also really love the scene in the mini short "Beg Me" where Mark makes Tristan fuck a pocket pussy (while being all "IF I HAD A WIFE I WOULD LOVE TO WATCH YOU FUCK HER AND IT WOULD BE AMAZING AND GREAT", a fact??? Tristan??? Super????? Misses out on???? When it turns out Mark DOES have a future wife????) before he fucks Tristan and continues to talk about how great it would be if there was a wife here lmao; I also reeeeally love the scene where Tristan and Isolde fuck in that yacht chapel thing. SO. GOOD. SUCH. ANGST.

Obviously, I love many scenes from her Bell Brothers series; the altarfucking scene in Priest; the "holy oil as anal lube" scene, also in Priest; the "let's have anal sex for the first time in a convent" scene in Sinner; the "let's pretend I'm a naughty monk and you're tempting me" outdoor blow job in Saint. All great content. Love it. Amazing.

ANYWAY. NON-SIERRA. Sierra is just the queen of sex scenes, I'm sorry.

I looove the scene in Give Me More by Sara Cate where Hunter, Drake, and Isabel finally have sex after Hunter's admitted that he loves Drake in a romantic manner. It's super hot and also weirdly sweet.

Kristen Callihan's Game On series is REAL GOOD in terms of sex scenes. There's a great scene in The Friend Zone where the heroine is like, taking care of the hero because he's typically been a real caregiver in his family. First of all, she greets him wearing a fake jersey that says "nothing's getting past my tight end". He's a tight end, and I personally think that's love. And then she fingers his ass during to climax and he's super grateful about it because nobody has ever done that before and he felt very loved lmao.

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield has SEVERAL very good scenes where they're roleplaying stepfather/stepdaughter stuff, but I think the scene that really sticks out to me remains the first scene where they're in the dark and she doesn't know it's him (and he doesn't know that she doesn't know) and she's going down on him and starts calling him "Daddy" and he like. FREEZES lol.

Reckless by Stella Rhys has an amazing scene where the hero and heroine are boss/employee but also best friends, and he's been helping her get through her realization that her fiance cheated, which has caused a lot of sexual tension... And then in his OFFICE one day, he's just like "use me" and BOOM FRIENDSHIP CORRUPTED. There's also a later scene where he has a very bad work call and she like, undoes her top and is all "you may use my tits to help yourself recover from the manpain you're experiencing right now". Like they're his pacifier. I was... about it.

Minx by Sophie Lark has a scene I read like thrice where the heroine is blowing the hero and then begins fingering him and he's like "nooooow I get why women like to be penetrated". There's also a scene I love where she's like "oh no, I'm on my period" and he goes "DON'T CARE". He might even go down on her.

The All the King's Men Duology by Kennedy Ryan--the scene where he gets her off by sticking his head under her sweatshirt and going to town on her nipples while her coworkers are on the other side of the wall; I mean, I hate to continue... to show my hand.... with this lol, but also the scene where she's blowing him and gives him the ol' bonus pleasure (a finger in his ass)

Mercy by Sara Cate--the pegging scene. That is all.

Possession by Adriana Anders has an amazing scene where the hero kidnaps the heroine (with her consent beforehand) and spit roasts her with his ol' buddy ol' pal. There's also a deleted short about them where he brings in like... three other buddies.... and they all go at her at the same time. AMAZING.

Managed by Kristen Callhan--the whole scene where after they have this really passionate sex he pushes his cum back in her

Lead by Kylie Scott--the scene where they're all "it'll be fine if we just get it out of our systems!!!" and he fucks her on a table while she's wearing like, a FUCKIN BOOT FOR HER BROKEN FOOT LMAO (she broke her foot trying to kick down a door dramatically); and the scene where they have emotional missionary sex and kiss for the first time

Deep by Kylie Scott--the hero finds out the heroine, pregnant with their one night stand baby, has been masturbating a lot and is all "I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR TAKING CARE OF YOUR NEEDS FROM NOW ON" and fingers her to orgasm lol

Preferential Treatment by Heather Guerre--the scene where they play chess while he's inside her and she's in his lap facing away from him, and if he comes he loses or something lol

Heated Rivalry and The Long Game by Rachel Reid--the scene where Ilya's won player of the year or something so after he drinks vodka while watching Shane finger himself; the "I want to look at you during" sex scene where Ilya uses endearments during and Shane is like "OH NOOOOO HE'S LIKE FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME??? ABORT!!!"; the scene after they actually say I love you. SUCH EMOTIONAL SEX SCENES. Oh wait also the scene where Shane is on the phone with his BFF and Ilya is like "I'm just gonna blow you during carry on".

And in TLG, the "I'm fucking a king in his throne room" scene because sometimes you've just got to fuck the confidence back into someone.

[thousand-winters]

Getting to Know You Meme

Tagged by @ygodmyy20 thank youuu 💕

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

Nope. And as much as I joke about getting a partner for couple's cosplay, I honestly don't care that much ahaha. Arospec and all

02) What was your dream growing up?

Mmmm, in general? I think most often I dreamed about being a writer professionally, but I had so many dreams. Kind of an overachiever little kid, I thought knowing fractions at 5yo was gonna get me far ahaha (it did not 💔)

03) What talent do you wish you had?

At this point I'm consider being able to identify your own emotions and where they come from a talent because oh, boy, am I bad at that. It would sure help me.

04) If someone bought you a drink what would it be?

I'm not sure if I'm missing context here but... a juice box? That's what my friends always say they would get me ahaha

05) Favorite vegetable?

Oh, I adore broccoli. Texture and flavor wise it's just so nice

06) What was the last book you read?

Clockwork Prince around the beginning of the year, if I'm not mistaken. I haven't followed through with actually finishing my reread of that trilogy, oof, too many things to do

07) What zodiac sign are you?

Aquarius

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?

No, but I want to get the Flapjack tattoo one day, and a close friend and I are planning to get matching parabatai rune tattoos eventually. They're kinda waiting on me for that one

09) Worst Habit?

Not stopping to breathe and relax when I'm having trouble regulating my emotions, sometimes I just explode and get stressed and feel like the world is out to get me and I really need to work on that

10) What is your favorite sport?

I did not have one but dressage looks so very cool ahahaha

11) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?

I used to be a pessimistic and most of the time I say I'm a realistic, but honestly? I'm sick and tired of my own mind tripping me up so lately I've been trying to be optimistic no matter what, I think it's helped me a little

12) Tell me one weird fact about you.

I feel like I'm pretty standard for a person ahaha. Mmmm, opinion has it I can imitate a cat meowing perfectly? If that counts?

13) Do you have any pets?

Oh, absolutely, I have 13 cats. Yes, it is a little messy as you can expect, but because I spend so much time at home, they're pretty comfortable and happy, honestly

14) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

... Annoying. I actually spent some time reflecting on why and I realize clowns always took it personally when I wouldn't find them funny and double down to try and make me laugh and I just couldn't pretend and it stressed me out 😭 Having my LOL arc moments at children parties...

15) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

It took me SO long to be okay with how I look because I used to have some pretty bad internalized racism and as my ex put it, I look, well, Mexican ahaha. They knew just looking at my face. But anyway now I'm pretty happy with my looks mostly, though I've had eyebags since I was a child and they never go away, so... honestly I would like not to have them

16) What color eyes do you have?

Dark brown/black? Obviously not pitch black but you gotta look really close to notice the separation between iris and pupil so I thiiink that counts as black?

17) Ever been arrested?

Nah

18) Bottle or can soda?

Can soda, they are nice

19) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

I would save it, honestly

20) What's your favorite place to hang out at?

I don't think I have one? I like anywhere that has somewhere I can sit and where it can be quiet in case I run out of energy

21) Do you believe in ghosts?

Yeah, it comes free with the culture /j. No, yeah, I kinda do? Maybe not so passionately but I think spirits are such a soothing thought

22) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Writing, talking to people, playing videogames and reading

23) Do you swear a lot?

Depends. In English I do, a lot. In Spanish I can't do it, I use the baby version of swears, which is fun tbh, there are studies on this

24) Biggest pet peeve?

People who make everything about themselves to the detriment of others. We're all a little obsessed with ourselves, alright?Iit's healthy to be so you don't fall in the self-deprecation trap. But when you start to not leave space for others and just think about yourself, it gets annoying really fast, and it can manifest in so many ways and all of them drive me crazy ahaha. We're social creatures! Community creatures! You gotta remember your wishes and feelings don't matter more than others' so you don't start stomping all over them

25) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

Emotional as well

26) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

Yeah, sure. I think it can be a sweet thing, if it is for me varies in my head every time, but at the very least I think it can be such a beautiful thing in general

27) Favourite and least favourite food?

Favorite is a hard one... I don't have a set favorite food but I like the typical food here so much, honestly, reasons why I can't never move countries, it just makes me so happy. As for least favorite, well... I'm really picky with food due to sensory issues so... there's a lot there but I would say meat? I like meat but it can be cooked in so many ways that I can't eat that it's always safer for me to not have any if I'm not sure about what it is or how it's prepared

28) Do you believe in God?

Not really, at least not an specific one. I sort of believe in higher forces, something not understood yet, which is why I tend to default to saying "gods" in plural whenever I use expletives. I'm not thinking about specific deities but if we're talking divinity I guess I find it more sensical if it's like the forces of nature like in some cultures, instead of one thing that decides everything about life and the universe

29) What makes you happy:

Seeing my cats being silly, sharing interests with friends and being able to create in the way I want

30) Currently listening/the last thing you listened to:

The Crane Wives

31) Favorite place to spend time:

I don't think I have one

32) Favorite lyric:

"And in my worst of days, I want to keep wanting to be kind" (Exotic Monsters - Penfriend)

33) Recommend a film:

I don't watch many movies, honestly. Nimona?

34) Recommend a book:

Hope for the Flowers, by Trina Paulus. I read it as a child and it stuck to me ever since, I reread it many times.

35) Recommend a band, a song, or album:

Recommending Penfriend so hard. Or Eliza Rickman. I just love the kind of melodies and lyrics they both come up with. Penfriend particularly is a very small artist so she definitely could use the support!

36) Recommend a TV show:

Andor! It's Star Wars, but other than some general context, you don't really need to watch the entire SW catalogue of movies and shows or anything, if you have a vague notion of the Original Trilogy and watch Rogue One, you're golden. The show itself is beautifully written, and it has some very well developed themes of fascism, colonialism and racism. There's an undergoing theme of those who have the privilege to choose to fight against these awful systems in place and those for whom the option was never there because no matter how much they try to resist, they get brought back into this struggle they didn't decide. Very relevant to current events in the world, unfortunately.

37) Where are you from, and do you still live there? Where have you lived?

I'm from Mexico and yeah, I have never lived anywhere but where I am right now. I was born like 15 minutes from my house ahaha, everytime I go out I pass through the clinic where I was born.

38) Do you have any pets or animals in your life? How did you find/get them?

Oh, boy. I've had cats, a chicken (I was too little to remember that one tho), three dogs and then more cats. All the cats have been strays that sometimes bring their babies with them, Idk about the chicken, and one of the dogs was bought, but of the other two, one was about to be put down and the other was kept in awful conditions and rescued. Generally I prefer to adopt animals in need because duh

39) What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten?

Due to the aforementioned pickiness with food, I don't think I have ever eaten anything super unusual, actually? My parents used to eat crickets but I never dared.

40) How did you 'find' fandom?

I was always in fandom ✨ Sort of. I wrote fic, drew comics and roleplayed with my siblings about the fandoms we liked, since I was very very little. Officially though I got into an anime forum when I was around 10? Which was around the time I found out the concept of fanfic and how my siblings and I weren't unique and super smart for making them ahaha

41) Make a list of 5 things that you see without getting up.

One of my cats. My hairbrush. My phone. My little Kuromi mirror. Hair cream.

My desk doubles as the place I put my care products.

42) How do you style your hair?

Now that I know how to care for my waves/curls more properly, it's either loose or I pin it with a hair clip so it doesn't get damaged. I sometimes do braids or ponytails if it has gotten dirty but it's not often

I get so rambly, I'm so sorry, ahaha. No pressure tagging if you want to do it!!! @oh-cramity-its-amity @justmagicalgirl @neoncherryblossom

[mindthedocent]

6, 16 and 17 :333333

omg eden hiiii edennnnn :333

6. the word that appears the most in your current draft (wordcounter.net can tell you)

I'm fucking embarrassed that my most used word is "MIN" and my second-most-used word is "RYAN" and my third-most-used-word is "MIN'S" and my fourth-most-used word is "LIKE"

so idk what you want man. i write at an 11th grade level according to this website LOL

16. favorite place to write

in a word doc DUHHH

no uhh i havent written in a while (basically since getting the new job) but it Used to be, at the desk at work while i was supposed to be standing and running around and working haha,

i also like writing in bed on my phone, and on the couch on my phone :3 is the computer better? absolutely. do i pull it out ever? no <3 <-guy who is on their computer right now hence the lack of emotes

17hold on post paused why did it do this

anyway 17. talk about your writing and editing process

so ive definitely talked about this before! but each part is difficult in its own way i think. if im not feral about a story its gonna take me a long time to write. but when i AM writing, i have to make an effort to set aside time to do so. i usually will try to aim for like, 100 words when ive made a decision to write. but sometimes its just a sentence! and thats okay, it happens! im glad to get something down when the going gets tough. but yeah what happens a lot is that as it goes on i get less excited about writing it and i have to really push to get it finished. i DO like finishing fics guys i PROMISE.

once its done i let it sit for between a week and a month. i dont look at it. i dont even Think about it (try not to anyway, lol). once ive decided that its editing time, i read through it again. this first time is not Really the time for spelling and grammar, but i do correct those things as i see them anyway. no the first read is for flow. do i need to add more detail? did a scene drag on too long? did a story feel too short?

(fun fact, in committing to the bit, i reread through it when i thought it was done and felt pretty bad about my contributions to it and felt like id have to go through a rewrite, complained to my cowriter about it, fell asleep, woke up to them giving me a lot of positive feedback, reread it again, and then added in a couple short scenes. and that fixed it.) (points to whoever can guess which parts i added in last)

uhhh and then after reading for overall flow, ill let it sit again for another few days, and repeat the process. if it feels good, ill go back in and read for smaller things. spelling, grammar, awkward sentences. let it sit again, read it again. once it feels upwards of 85% good to me, i decide im done.

WHEW. its a lot of letting it stew and rereading it. i think thats what it takes sometimes. that, and letting it be imperfect. its never gonna be Perfect, but there comes a point where its gotta be Done, u know? u know exactly what im talking about

thank uuuu for this ask ily!

the quastions

[tearitar]

16, 18, 20 ✨

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Currently... actively... 4! That I've written actual more than 500 words for. One of them is based of Destiny's The Final Shape trailer where Cayde is doing this really wistful monologue and some kind of rabid monster in my brain liked it (as a D1!Cayde enjoyer). I've got a deadline for this one. It's before The Final Shape comes out so that I can post it and say that it isn't supposed to be canon. (Since I think he's currently IN the Traveler and no one prove me wrong, ok.)

18. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

There is no rhyme or reason. I've done it before/during/after. Sometimes I will have a placeholder title from a song lyric I was inspired by (and for doc naming). Other times I will look up a fancy word from the dictionary, or make a clever pun.

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

LOL, I hate knowing my own pet phrases/expressions. It really takes me out of rereading my own fic when I notice them. "Steadying breath" is one of them and I've been trying to stop. I know there's more but aaaaaaaaaaaaa it annoys me so bad being aware, LOL.

AS FOR THEMES THOUGH..... I love love love writing about characters confronting themselves, either physically (clone/mirrorverse/future or past self) or metaphorically. Then they gotta kiss themselves -- usually under the guise of a ship (like... oh, you have a crush on X? well in the future we're together and I, the Future You, knows how they kiss!) I will not stop writing those. I've used up every time travel/magic-gone-wrong trick up my sleeves and I have no problems repeating the same old scenario, i am PASSIONATE!!!!!

[thatbanditqueen]

i’m obsessed w all ur fics but i gotta ask…

are u planning on midge and ep making up some way in the next chapter or are u thinking ab dragging it out? (also wanted to let u know i reread the only sure thing probably once a week lmaooo)

So I'm writing chapter 8 right now and...... they are going to be colliding into each other at the end. Followed by three very very very smutty chapters. This and the last chapter where they are not together have been the HARDEST for me to write because I have the smut headcanons for the next chapters rebounding around in my mind grapes and I just want to get there already and I want the build up to be good but I have discovered this about myself as a writer. I'm not great at slow burn or storylines that don't lead to somewhat immediate smut..... lol.... maybe I'm off, but my favorite chapters of Only Sure Thing are 2 through 6..... I did like writing the scene in 7 where Elvis walks in on Midge writing fake fan letters for the Colonel.... but some of that chapter felt flat trying to accomplish more exposition and where i see them going... idk i am an aggressively hard on myself person, but i guess I think my favorite thing to write is pre-smut verbal foreplay which is hard to do if characters are broken up... so, this was a really long way to answer your question. The short answer is yes, and I'm sorry because I'm still learning how to write stories but I see ch 9 and 10 being.... um.... fun....

Once a week? My love.... im so fucking honored to hear you say that because I am really fond of these characters and I reread it everytime I write a new chapter, but I also want to rewrite it, especially some of the clunky paragraphs early on where I feel like I was over explaining Elvis' bio.... I might one day....

This is something I'm struggling with so I'm curious to know what you think... I don't want them to make up totally until March 1961 bc Elvis is going to convince Midge to go to Hawaii with him and he's leaving like the day after they reunite. But I also don't think it's realistic that he wouldn't try to see her every chance he can and try to wear her resolve down... I'm having him bombard her with telegrams and phone calls, and sort of explaining how he's off filming two movies and doing benefits and events in Nashville and Memphis as the reason he doesn't see her for six months... but I feel like I need to write ONE "look let me prove I can be just friends" scene from Midge's pov, where E shows up at her place unexpectedly because he's super impulsive and hyperfixated..... and he wants to use any excuse to get her alone and bring her back to his house ... uh... ok apparently this post became part of my writing process...

Thanks for reading and supporting my own hyperfixation. Im always down to chat about them. I really hope the fan community doesn't dissolve bf I finish these stories....I know I'm moving at a snail's pace..

xoxo

norAHHHH

The Only Sure Thing forthcoming in the next few days Ch 8 vibes...

[sesshy380]

For the writter ask game, 23, 40 & 41!

*rubs hands greedily* I see at least one real good question that's gonna make me wrack my brains lol

Onto the answers!

-23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

I've answered a similar question with the last ask game. It's number 17 here.

-40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

I am definitely a re-reader. I have so many subbed authors and fics so I can find them easier (Congrats! You're on that list!)

-41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

Now the hard question! I gotta pick just one? I don't think you realize how often I think that when reading other people's fics! And it's not the fics themselves that make me think that, it's the authors that write them!

I envy @x-atlas-x ability to write smut.

@tenderwulf characterization and scene setting inspired me to start writing and posting (I do have this bad habit of constantly comparing my own writing to theirs, but I am getting better at not being such a harsh critic of my own work).

The worldbuilding of @ninjam117 Roleplay AU is amazing, and I can only dream of coming up with something half as good.

Can't forget @crush3dmary poetic flow (I KNOW I'll never be able to write like that)

And then of course I wish I had your ability to make the reader want to hug the characters in the story to death (working on it!)

And those are just a few off the top of my head!

Thanks for the ask! Sorry I couldn't give a straight answer to the last one.

[eomma-jpeg]

Heyyyyfor the writer ask! 20, 32 (not me please I want to hear about other cool writers!!), 58, 66, 73, and 75 for itm have a good one!!!<33333

squid !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

I gotta brainstorm this

I used to use the word ‘jarring’ all the time because I say that in real life LOL

I think when it comes to writing and more dynamic themes, i think the main thing i try to emulate in my writing is that you know whats going on in the scene. I want to make sure that the reader knows the layout and how every person is interacting with each other. I try and go back over my writing over and over again to make sure it is understandable

I think a newer theme is emotions ? i focused so much on physical descriptions in my older works that it wasn’t,,,, fun? To read my stuff. So with my newer works i tried to experiment with more complex emotions, especially the physical repercussions of the emotions lol

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

Squid said i cant say her T-T

SmutWithPlot on FF.net is an author who’s style inspires me SO MUCH. Their description style and flow is something I aspire to have. tension is so good….. (they’re also on ao3)

I’ve said this before but @eilwen is SUCH an incredible writer. No Reason is a fic that I cry whenever i see that its been updated. Their style is so poetic and detailed and i lovelovelove the story and world building its so incredible.

Kuwakun or @tomboyyyaoi here on tumblr has the most beautiful like,,, poetic style of writing… i want to try my hand at poetry style writing one of these days. I have such a literal and straightforward writing style that i would need to practice if I wanted to write the beautiful imagery that they have in their works…. (I sincerely believe they are one of the only people that really understand trimax vashmeryl)

58. What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc)

Hmmmm

I think outlining and editing are tied in my mind. I LOVE creating the story, and that happens when i outline. I see it all in my mind and can normally get it down on the page okay, but the story really comes to life when i outline, and then it is reborn when i edit lol

I love going back over my work and editing. It helps me realize what isn’t flowing well, what words were strange to use, what sentences just make absolutely no sense because my brain was moving so fast that i forgot half of the words lol. But I love editing in general…. Its so fun.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

So far i haven’t faced a lot, which has been nice. I think what helps is that I do this because I like to. I love sharing it with people and knowing that others really enjoy the story,,, but its really a selfish act LOL 

If i get negative comments,,, those fly over my head. The positive ones far outweigh the negative ones (although, i havent gotten any ! which is so nice lolol)

Updating and deadlines,,,, i set those myself ? so like,,, if they need to be moved or adjusted i can just do that

And you can too ! please work at your own pace. Don’t feel burdened by those who read or consume your creations, I am certain most if not all are patient and willing to wait however long it takes for you to feel like its good enough to share

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hmmmmmm im gonna be a brat about this and say I write stuff that flows well. Funfact about lace, this is because I have written so many history papers, and those need to flow well in order to make sense. I go back over my works countless times to make sure everything is coming across well and that the audience knows whats going on. Is it perfect? No. I went back and reread chapter 1 of in the meadow recently and immediately wanted to start fixing lolol (i might do that 👀)

I would say it helps that I know grammar lolol,,,, i try to not put dialogue for different people in the same paragraph or do run on sentences,,, but I am certainly guilty of using the same adjectives over and over or putting too many commas in one sentence lol 

75. What scene in in the meadow took the longest to write? What was difficult about it?

Okay,,, there have been a few parts where i had to pause and take a moment before i actually got my thoughts down

The first was the fight between Milly and Knives about Wolfwood. I had planned that scene so early on,,, but I … i couldn’t figure out each character’s motivation for SO LONG. it took me forever to find why Milly would even put up with him when he was the one to kill WW but also Milly wouldn’t hold a grudge like that and yakjdlkfjsdlj it took so long and i went over it a billion times to fix it and change it ugh

Another one that was sillier was in the latest chapter (28) I was having the hardest time planning out the silly conversation with the sisters. It literally made me stop writing for like a week T-T I couldn’t figure out how to make the conversation flow or how to make Vash seem like a sleaze while not a huge sleaze or for the ladies to tease Meryl UGH

I still don’t think its good but it was the best i could get it

I also avoided writing the final chapter for a minute cuz i didn’t want it to be over,,, then i wrote the whole thing in one day lol (squid knows lol)

[ltleflrt]

My current obsession is gay audio books with narrators who have British accents. It started with Nicholas Boulton, and when I ran out of the gay stuff, I started looking for other good narrators.  Anyway, this morning I’m listening to a book that’s good, but I keep getting distracted by thoughts of my own writing.

In this book, the protags are in love by their 3rd meeting. 

It’s a lovely story, well written, very emotional.

But so unrealistic.

To be clear, I’m very much enjoying it, but like I said, it’s really making me think.  It’s stuff like this that reminds me why I could never write a book for a trad-pub company.  I’ve talked to my bestie @jupiterjames about how books get edited, because she used to do that professionally, and she’s mentioned how I tend to “meander” in my stories.  She’s not saying it’s a bad thing, she’s just pointed out things that would usually get cut out because there’s a formula that must be kept to and a wordcount limit, and I am always AGHAST because THOSE ARE VERY IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT BITS.  But it’s clear what she means, because I saw it in her earlier writing before I infected her with longficitis (HAHA 200K BITCH I WIN), and in how traditionally published books often tell romance stories.

The book I’m listening to is about romance, but it’s not about falling in love.  If I was writing this book, there would have been at least 3 more chapters between the 1st and 3rd meetings where they had many more meetings where they run into each other randomly and get to know each other.  As it stands in the story, they barely even know each other, and they’re already talking about moving in together.  And it’s like.. what?  Why do they like each other?  This is a classic case of trauma bringing them together, which is fine but if the rest of the story is about them dealing with the trauma, and not like... having some fun together outside the bedroom... I’ll still probably say it’s a good book because of the narrator’s performance, but I’ll never relisten to it, and if it was an actual book, it’d go straight into the donations box, because I’d certainly never read it again.  It was a free book under my Audible subscription, and I’m glad I didn’t spend any additional money or a credit on it.  I mean... it’s still good! If someone were to ask about it, I’d say sure it’s worth a read!  It’s just not to my specific tastes when it comes to romances novels.

I like to read about how characters fall in love.  I like to write about how characters fall in love.  Sure, there’s plot and trauma in my stories, and the characters have to navigate around that.  But I at least try to make it clear WHY they fall in love, aside from trauma bonding.  And if a trad-pub company made me cut that stuff out, the story would feel soulless, and I’d give up on writing altogether.

Anyway, these are the thoughts that distracted me so much from the last half hour of the book that I’ve gotta rewind and re-listen, because I know I was missing stuff while my mind wandered.

Sometimes my favorite thing about reading books instead of fanfiction is realizing that my writing is better than some stuff that’s published....very good for the ego lol

Oh, I just realized something as I was rereading this post looking for typos... you wanna know where I got it in my head that characters need something to make them fall in love besides their trauma?  The movie Speed.  They actually lampshade the idea of falling in love during a traumatic event.  I adore that movie.  In fact, now that I’ve thought about it, I might watch it today.  But Sandra Bullock’s character Annie saying how the love probably isn’t real because of how it started, and the fact that in Speed 2, it turns out she was right, has stuck with me for decades.  If Speed 2 hadn’t been made, then I could have lived in the fantasy that Annie was wrong and that she and Jack lived happily ever after.  But Speed 2 did get made, and because Keanu Reeves didn’t come back, they had to actually prove her right and ruin my suspension of disbelief.  I guess I have Keanu to thank for the way I write my stories lol