#i think. lol gotta reread my own writing

[helianthus21]

excuse the bad pics as always (low quality book that's already falling apart) but i feel so validated having written this part before even reading qotd:

[soaps-mohawk]

Hehehe thank you for giving me the permission to yap. Idk how long this will end up being so grab a snack to read-

(and to my ask before. I agree with you. I was close to rage quitting SO MUCH but then I'd cry cause I didn't want to loose where I was in the mission so I cried my way through it. Darn you Kyle for falling out of that plane... and yes. I used youtube vids for the alone mission HELP)

Okaayyy my fic idea. Its possibly going to be a dystopien omegaverse fic, reader is a omega, Price and Ghost are alpha's and Soap and Gaz betas (I've always imagined them like that since reading ur fic, but i make them other things depending on the ship. and what the story is like. like nikprice, i oftern think of alpha x alpha or make John a omega heh)

So outline part 1 is, the worlds population has been greatly plumeting, since the old goverment wasnt strict as the new one. The new goverment takes over, and builds a intitute that forces omegas into it as soon as they present to teach them to be the 'perfect omega'. its one of those VERY messed up places, like the guards or workers dont give a damn, they get no help and are brainwashed to not tell anyone abt how it works. (This was one of the parts where i was scared it was close to urs, thats why im yapping now so if u think its too close u can scold me and tell me to think of smt else LOL)

As soon as omega's hit 18, they are sent out into a pack or with an alpha. betas can join a waiting list, but alphas get priority. Now, when the rest of the task force was offered, they declined. But poor Johnny just wanted his own lass, he didn't think it'd be bad. so he joins the waiting list, and ends up getting reader. And well the rest arent happy cause now they gotta help look after this traumatised lil thing.

What i was thinking, Johnny has never had a omega, because of the intitute and goverment. So he has no proper idea on how to care for an omegas needs, like heats and everything. so he ends up getting the rest of the team to slowly help (it overtime becomes a poly relationship) but as reader feels safer, she ends up feeling safe enough to talk about what happened in the institute (cause whos gonna come after a military pack, they're protecting her?!)

but ofc, the goverment finds out and like nup they aint having that, and they take her back. (this is sometime idk when) but they all end up turning against the whole goverment and yada yada. Theres prob A LOT i would change so far and add, but I havent gotten that in depth yet.

do u think thats too simular to CRCB... idk I was thinking about it once then i remember oh crap thats sounding a lil familiar- part of the reason i wanted to tell you abt it, also just bc i wanted to yap abt it bc if i end up writing/changing it its just rlly interesting. you dont veen gotta answer this if its too close just msg me and scold me HELP-

anyway ill stop my yapping before it turns into a novel.

Reminder to get a drink and a snack, I hope you can get plenty of rest <3 (apologies for any spelling mistakes, I'm half asleep and couldn't be entirely bothered to reread and Im just praying it makes sense. Grammarly dont like me)

I think that's a great idea!! Very unique!! I'm glad I could inspire you to write your own fic and I don't mind the similar ideas. (So long as credit is given where credit is due)

[waywardstation]

hi! i havent been on tumblr in a Hot minute but i wanted to come here JUST to tell you that hfbe might be my fave pla fic ive read ao far! the worldbuilding and the characterization of everyone just feels so so right i fall in love

i reread it on ao3 and even tho its not completed its still a joy to reread everytime

Hello hello!! Anon you have no idea how much it meant to me to get to read this. Knowing I put something out there that you wanted to back to and reread means A LOT.

I’m glad you like it so much but man I have been editing the first two chapters (fixing errors, making characters say and do things that are more in line with how I write them now, and just adding scenes in between to help things seem more clear or hit harder), and I’m like man this really isn’t that good haha.

It’s fun to see how much I think I’ve improved since I’ve started trying to write fanfics (I wasn’t aware of how obsessed I had been with commas and run-on sentences at the start lol)

So reading this nice message really gives me such a boost of motivation. I’m so glad you like the worldbuilding, and it makes me excited to get more out because later chapters are when I really introduce specifics on a lot of things. Namely the Pearl Clan’s hunting parties, that has been my favorite.

Now I just gotta get more out! Hoping to put more out for you to read soon kind anon, I really appreciate that you find it’s something you like to reread!

For now, here is a snippet below the cut; I am unsure if I have shared this before, but it’s a scene where Ingo is preparing to advocate for the Clan to use pokeballs to store their pokemon in, so that there is less food consumption (as in HFBE, it’s emphasized that pokeballs put pokemon into a stasis where they don’t need to eat, drink, sleep, etc. for as long as they’re in them. Ingo does it with his pokemon, and he wants the clan to do it too, for their own sakes).

Wording is subject to change (VERY MUCH SO), but enjoy!

—————

“Excuse me Miss Irida, but may we talk for a moment?”

The Pearl Clan leader turned back to see Ingo – he was trailing behind the group, purposefully so. He had been waiting for the right moment to approach her.

“Right now?” Irida’s eyes flickered back over the tops of people’s heads, up towards the communal hall at the top of the hill. “I’m sorry, but can it wait until after the meeting?”

“It is actually about the meeting.” Ingo’s grey eyes were unwavering, waiting — he wanted to ask her something. And Ingo was not one to usually ask for things.

“Ok,” She relented, pausing in the snow both so he could catch up, and they could have their conversation with some privacy. “You have until we reach the hall.”

“Thank you, I assure you it will be quick.” Ingo fell into step beside her, shuffling through the snow as they now both trailed behind the group heading towards the warm hall. He kept his head tilted down just like her, using the brim of his hat to protect against the wind and snowfall. “I, well… I am planning to re-propose a proposition at this meeting tonight. I’d like to make another attempt at advocating for the use of pokeballs.”

“Tonight? Are you serious?” Irida lowered her voice for his sake, looking back between him and the group. How could he possibly think about proposing that when this meeting was for them to discuss how to prepare for this famine? “I’m saying this not as your leader but as your friend, Ingo; now is absolutely not a good time for that. Everyone is already going into this meeting angry. And if you try and start this again, they’re going to-”

Irida took a deep breath; she was already getting stressed over it.

“You know how people are going to react to that. You know who it’s going to upset, Ingo. Especially after last time. And you said you’d let it go.”

“I am well aware of what I said and I intended to stick to it, but these circumstances have changed our tracks, and I believe this may save us from derailing!” Ingo whispered back. He kept throwing quick glances at the nearing hall, gauging how much time he had left to persuade her. “Pokeballs can help us much more than the clan realizes – I’m confident that this can bring us closer to a solution, if not at least be a part of one!”

Irritation and confusion were replaced with genuine curiosity, but a fleck of doubt hesitantly followed after. Irida shook her head, not understanding. “How could they possibly help with all of this?”

“I will explain that in the meeting.” Having conquered the snowy hill, the two reached the warm light that spilled through the hall’s windows to project onto the snow. “But to do that, I need to actually present my proposal, and I’m afraid that will be difficult with the elders tonight. I am trying this for the fourth time now, and I’m aware of how this will most likely be received. I expect they’ll call to send me back to my seat before I even start.”

Ingo paused just outside the doors, waiting for Irida to go in first — she could do so and end the conversation right now if she wanted to, but she didn’t. Instead she stood there, staring at their fading shoeprints in the snow.

Irida could see why he approached her about this now, and a part of her felt sorry for him. “So you want me to vouch for you.”

“Not the proposal itself. Just the time to talk.”

[johnslittlespoon]

So, I've reread TAS about 6 times, maybe. With every read through, the story somehow gets better. Anyway, I gotta know: when Gale chooses the horror movie before their first kiss, did he do it with the intention of scaring John into his arms? I remember that cliché from media growing up. The guy choosing the scary movie so that he can wrap his arms around the pretty girl.

You write Gale really well, and he's doing the whole "we're taking this at your pace" thing. So I want to know if the scary movie was a calculated decision.

Also, thank you SO MUCH for writing this story; it is my current obsession.

okay gonna get into some TAS gale pov asks bc i have a few >:) but SIX TIMES???? i will literally never ever be able to wrap my head around anyone rereading my stuff, it’s so mind boggling and it makes me a little (a lot) teary wtf :’)) <33 that’s actually insane LMAO thank u this is so so sweet 😭💗 ok buckle in bc i had a lot to say oops

tbh i definitely had that cliche in mind while writing it, like as soon as i decided they’d be watching a horror movie, i knew they’d have the cliche ‘hold me i’m scared’ moment, because it would be a good way to ease into the first kiss. however i don’t think it was fully intentional on gale’s end, because really, i think gale would’ve been happy to sit through like a three hour documentary if that’s what john had wanted lol.

so i don’t think he was swaying john one way or another, but he definitely had zero complaints about having an excuse to hold john when he got scared ;) and obv at that point, gale’s not dumb (and john is not subtle lmfao), so gale was probably 99.9% certain john had feelings for him, and he was giving john every opportunity to do something about that, since gale was so stubborn about giving john space to figure things out for himself and make the first move. :)

another rereader i cryyyy <333 thank you, would also run thru a brick wall for u 😭💖 YES gale’s pov very much interests me, i’ve got a whole section for it in what i call my TAS masterdoc lmfaoo. i have a stupid amount of oneshot ideas now in his/other character’s povs that i’d love to get to at some point!

but also hey ouch thanks for hurting my heart <3 😭 i do feel like there were probably a few “oh no” moments for gale after meeting john, like the classic ‘i’m fucked’ realizations, and i think seeing him smile properly for the first time would be one of those. john’s so caught up in his own head half the time that he probably didn’t notice the way gale stopped breathing the first time he was on the receiving end of his sunshine smile :’)

i genuinely think gale’s internal monologue during that moment would just be ‘fuckfuckfuckfuck’ because really, what else can he do but fall head over heels? i’m sooo excited to dig into gale’s pov eventually, to get into how much he wrestled with himself and how he’d told himself never again after losing johnny, and then in walks this gangly, sweet, loud–mouthed college kid, and gale’s never been so happy to have his life turned upside down.

(john and gale actually do have a little bit of a conversation about this in ch11 because i couldn’t resist, but until that’s up, i leave you with the assurance that gale was smitten from day one and just trying to repress it for a multitude of reasons, but then the incident happened where gale saved him from the blind date, and it was all over from that moment on. the urge to protect john and to keep a smile on his face hasn’t left gale since that moment <3)

LOLL. definitely an admonishing “gaaaaale” moment. 

i’ve had so many questions in AO3 comments asking if i’ll write gale’s pov of the conversation he has with marge, and i 100% want to, it’s the first gale pov oneshot (aside from the smut i posted lol) i’m planning on writing for this fic. i’ll try to answer some of those other questions here just to keep them in one place:

i think marge definitely had her suspicions about gale’s feelings for john — she knows gale too well to not know when something’s up, but she also knows that gale comes to her about things on his own time, that she just has to be patient, it’s how he’s always been since they were kids. but there’s no way she wasn’t squinting at gale when she found out john had spent the weekend (multiple times) at his house.

the first time is one thing, because when gale explains that john had gotten wayyy too drunk and seemingly had some situation he didn’t want to go home to, she’d understand gale letting him crash at his. she sees how gale is with john at the beach after that, and it probably gets the wheels turning in her head, but she also knows gale to have a big heart and to be prone to taking strays in, so it could just be written off.

when she finds out that john’s been staying at gale’s every weekend after the incident with his mom, at the very least she had to have asked him who takes the couch just to watch gale squirm, which then confirmed her suspicions lol. after that it’s only a matter of time before gale spills it all to her, and her reaction will eventually be detailed in one of those gale pov oneshots :-) 

[creampuffqueen]

Year-End Writer's Roundup: 2024 Edition!

thanks so much for the tag @sweetorangepoptart!! i had to wait to actually do this until i finished the last fic i wanted to post for the year, so now it's time for the roundup!

i'm honestly not sure who to tag, so if you see this and you wrote anything this year, feel free to do it and say i tagged you!!

Words written (published or not, WIPs totally count too!!):

let's not even get into my WIPs there's so many lol. going by just published works, i wrote 73,234 words!! honestly crazy to think about!

Smut scenes:

three! all in their own standalone works. doing the math, that means my smut fics alone take up about 1/3 of my words written this year haha

New things I tried:

i've written for lots of ships for the first time this year! in fact, i believe all the ships i wrote for are the first-time ships for me, which is always very exciting

as well, i tried a slightly different writing style than usual in my fic i'm glad i get forever to see where you went. i really enjoyed writing like this, and i can definitely see myself doing it again in the future!

Fic I spent the most time on:

i think that title has to go to my fic Likewise, as it sat half-finished in my drafts for... honestly most of this year i think

Fic I spent the least time on:

i can't say 100% for sure, but i think my fic Something Nice. it was written for yangvik week, and it was quite literally written the same day it was published. i did that several times during the week, but as this one's word count is a bit lower than the others, i think it's most likely the one i spent the least time on

Favorite thing I wrote:

ughhhhh this is like asking me to pick my favorite child. i love them all!! but if i had to choose, i think i need to go with The Push. i am honestly so proud of this fic, and i actually go back and reread it quite frequently. it also became popular beyond my wildest belief, and was sort of my jumpstart into the yangvik ship/fandom. the response to it helped give me the confidence to write seven (and counting!) more yangvik fics!!

Favorite thing I read:

actually this is like having to pick a favorite child. how can i possibly choose when i read not only lots of fic, but lots of good fic?? i've gotta choose multiple lol

anything by my lovely mutual @katkastrofa, i legitimately can't choose any specific one to focus on because they're all so incredibly written! Ruby by KingWuko; i love all your wuko fics but this one in particular gets me every time! and outside of the atla fandom, i've been really enjoying this owl house fic on ao3!

Writing goals for next year:

honestly? just keep writing! writing fanfiction has honestly been incredibly helpful for me while i'm in college. seriously, my mental health is always so much worse when i'm not writing. even if i don't publish it, writing is so good for my brain. so i want to keep up with it as i go into the new year!

i've also worked on a loose writing schedule for the upcoming year - i'm not holding myself to it super strongly but i really am going to try and follow it! it's just a way to help me focus more on individual fics and know when i want to try and finish them. that way i can do things like publishing fics for friends' birthdays and participating in more fandom events!

and last but not least, a semi-writing goal that i have is to host another wonderful yangvik week! the 2024 event was amazing, and since it ended even more people have found it and expressed interest, so i 100% would like to do it again. and if i do it again, this time i'm going to try and write for all seven days! considering i wrote for six last time, it seems pretty manageable lol

----

thanks again for the tag! this has been a great writing year for me, and i can't wait to see what 2025 holds!

[lesbianherald]

hello! firstly, I am completely enamored of your writing. coming home altered my brain chemistry I think. it is a great story with even greater execution. I'm astonished with how thought-through and loved CH feels! I come back to it very often, both to reread my favorite abstracts and to take in the language, because it's written absolutely magically, which, I believe, is what makes it so emotional (oh, the things it makes me feel). secondly, I've just read your analysis on viktor's s2 arc and it's sooooo good! I've really struggled to pinpoint why exactly does it feel so unsatisfying, but you articulated it perfectly, and now my own feelings feel coherent. so thank you for sharing this! anyway, your analysis made me curious about your major? (if it's personal and you don't feel comfortable sharing it's totally okay and im sorry for overstepping!) you definitely have a way with words and a great understanding of building a compelling story. so I've been wondering if you majored in literature, because, you know, it makes a lot of sense.

also, if you ever happen to feel like sharing your thought process regarding writing or posting some tips (on anything, really. world building, character development, details or even wording), I'd be so so thrilled to read that! you're insanely skilled and brilliant, and it would be an honor to get some advice from you!

hope you have a wonderful day, I wish you a lot of inspiration and excitement!

wow wow wow ! thank you so much ! I'm so touched you go back and read some of those passages. Coming Home was a byproduct of both planning and delusional spontaneity born out of varying levels of depression. dlskfajdh sometimes "planning" for me was just going back and seeing what I wrote before. that's a good trick lmao. being like ahh yes. see. because I wrote this thing if I do this other related thing it'll make me look wayyyy more in control of this narrative than I am KDSLFHJSD

re: majors.

i'm in graduate school right now so no major just a focus and a ton of debt.

in undergrad i double majored in biology (with a particular passion in astrobiology) and creative writing.

i'm about a year or so away from my masters in a graduate program (hence why I teach so much, I TA for big lectures and for other graduate writing lectures that have breakout sections) the degree involves writing/storytelling amongst other things but I wont go into too much detail there :) gotta keep some air of mystery/privacy alive lol. both being a student on scholarship and a teacher of sorts was definitely a huge inspo for my approach to academia in coming home.

so glad you liked my season 2 viktor thoughts. i really just spat that out over coffee but I also keep linking to them because I am happy with at least how generally I was able to talk about it hehe. i feel like there was something big I missed which I keep forgetting to talk about but hilariously I'm forgetting it now. i will yell in the tags if I remember

so sweet of you to ask !

[aeternallis]

Kim's Place in the Mafia: Novel vs Show

The one thing I can say without a doubt in my mind is that from the crumbs we get of Kim and Chay from the book and show, these two are obsessively in love with each other. So I'll say that now and get that squared away.

And I know, most of the fandom detest the book due to its problematic authors and will never read it, and that's completely valid. Furthermore, I will say now that the book is trash and hardly coherent at times. But as my favorite English scholar for Ancient Rome, Mary Beard, once said: "It's trash...but it's very valuable trash."

For what it's worth, reading the book at least once can provide a more nuanced understanding of why the showrunners made the changes they did in the show. The changes in and of themselves makes for a more cohesive story (SOO MUCH MORE COHESIVE), but it also goes without saying that a lot of the events in the show remain faithful to the novel, so in that regard, there is some merit to be had.

Finally, when I say the novel is "trash", I mean the narrative itself, not necessarily the translation (although it's not perfect by any means). If anything, I'm grateful for the translators who took the time to translate this novel into English, since translation is a thankless job most times in fandom (lookin' at you, MDZS). As I speak no Thai whatsoever, I can’t give an informed opinion on DAEMI's technical writing abilities, since I'm not a native speaker, nor am I the book's target audience.

But, I digress.

The more I reread the book (in all its trash glory), the more I find myself questioning Kim's views in regards to how he sees himself as part of a mafia family. 🤔

In the book, Kim is a lot more accepting of his place within the mafia, despite his initial tendencies of disappearing on his guards and staying away from the main house. In fact, that pretty much changes once Chay enters the picture.

Gotta love a Kinn who's curious about his little bro's love life. XD

Kim is firmly settled into the fold of the family business (if that scene in the secret warehouse is anything to go by) and there’s a scene in the beginning of the book where Korn obligates all 3 sons to dress up in some fancy suits and visit their chocolate factory, since he’s particularly keen on getting it off the ground. This shows that although Kinn is set to inherit (in public, at least) the other two sons still have their duties to the family.

In fact, I will say that one of the most interesting things about reading the book is finding out that Kim's sleuthing is actually canon. Lol Granted, it's sleuthing more in regards to finding the mole and not really about Korn's game plan, but sleuthing nonetheless.

But in the show, his role within the family business and how he views it are a little bit more foggy because he has his musical career to keep him occupied, besides his sleuthing into Korn’s affairs. He’s not active in the way one would typically expect a member of the mafia to be (and who knows, this may be due to limited time constraints on the part of the showrunners), but he’s active within that sphere nonetheless.

And because of this, contrary to the general fandom consensus, I never really got the impression that Kim wanted to be out of the mafia, yknow? Personally, I think it’s too big of a leap to say him moving out = him not wanting to be in the mafia. Having that sort of character motivation wouldn't really make sense either, because then we would have had stronger hints of it, I think?

At the very least, by the end of the show, Kim--just like Chay--has more reasons to stay than not. The way I see it, Kim wanting to be out of the mafia would actually somewhat contradict his actions in the show.

Despite his effort in staying away from the mansion his father and brothers live in (and later on, Chay), Kim benefits from being a Theerapanyakul. We see this in a lot of different ways: the penthouse he lives in, the cars he drives (he gets his own set of the Maserati fleet, yo), his private studio, the freedom of movement he has in being able to easily get information (although this may be debatable), using Big as a gopher.

I highly doubt his career as a young musician is maintaining his luxurious lifestyle (perhaps only a part of it, like the fame); imo, there’s a calculated reason why BOC chose to keep the level of his fame as vague as possible. The way I see it, Kim moved out and pursued music simply because, due to his unique position of being the youngest son (aka the spare), he just had the luxury to do so.

If he truly wanted out of the mafia, I'm firmly on the camp that he could have done so already. We've seen in both the show and the book that unlike Kinn who's constrained by his duties, Kim does have the freedom to disappear, even to the point that it's to his detriment at times. Lol

Maybe I can go even further, and suggest that perhaps the reason he chose to move out is to get a better vantage point of the circumstances surrounding his father's schemes and the ongoing tides of power. Kinda like, he has to move away from the trees, in order to see the entire forest.

I wouldn't go so far as to say he wants power for himself (although this idea would be fun to entertain, especially within the context that he now has Chay in his life to protect), but again, being a member (a high-ranking one, at that) of the Theerapanyakul family benefits him in a lot of different ways.

In one of BOC's interviews and then in Jeff's goodbye message during the last KPWT, he mentioned something about Pond changing up Kim's character in order to make Jeff Satur shine. Idk about y'all, but that's quite a touching gesture, and one I definitely approve of, whilst I get a better understanding of the similarities and differences between novel!Kim and show!Kim. It's obvious from the show that besides changing Kim's maturity level and changing his image from a fuck boi to a cool prince, giving him a passion for music definitely humanized him and served as a way to balance out the other two love stories.

But be that as it may, although we the audience don't know as to what extent Pond changed Kim's character to better fit the story, at the very least maintaining Kim's position as a legitimate contender in the politics of the mafia world remains consistent in both the book and show.

Whether that observation lines up with the idea that he wants out of the mafia though, is entirely up to you. XD

[rosesradio]

so I never finished Heroes of Olympus but also I never liked Percy/Annabeth in PJO (……. which makes me an outcast I know) my reasons were silly but I was like 13 when I read the first series. (something something she was too mean to MY Percy and he deserved better) ALL this is to say, I’m curious on your opinion of HoO Percy/Annabeth:

“was not a fan of the amalgamation they became in HoO, but that’s another post”

would love to hear your thoughts as to why it was better in PJO or whatever you feel like sharing!

so first off, you should definitely finish HoO !! i'm not a huge stickler for "you have to read all of the source material" (because i haven't read past the first ToA book), and HoO is really only Peak Literature if you're like 14 (not to say adults can't like it obv, i do, but when you get older you notice some glaring flaws lol). that being said, you should still finish it, it has its rises & falls. i for one have been rereading son of neptune (very very slowly) & listening along to the newest olympian podcast. but anyways

i honestly can relate to your take on being young & having a book boyfriend & feeling overprotective of him lol. when i was like 14 & first reading HoO, i felt that way with leo when calypso was treating him like absolute garbage...like that's my little guy lol

so my take on percabeth is kind of a, "like it more than i don't, not overly invested in a fandom sense, take it or leave it" on the tier list. i enjoyed their development in PJO despite the moments where annabeth did give him a bit of a hard time, etc. they had a close friendship & trusted each other & i think it developed into a nice relationship (i will say them getting together the morning after annabeth's older brother figure/childhood crush/war rival Died is some Unhinged romantic timing on Richard's part, but i get that ya gotta wrap up the book & the underwater kiss was still cute, etc).

that being said, i understand how they were seperated in HoO & circumstances were desperate, but obv the judo flip scene was just...ick. i think i saw a post somewhere that rewrote it to where she pulled her knife on him, he pulled his sword on her, the romans got freaked out & then they just kinda half-play sparred with no winner, and that helped percy gain back some of his memories, which i think was a sweet rewrite. but anyways.

in the rest of the HoO books they're just kinda...wildly codependant with no individual personalities. annabeth needs percy to save her in battle because it's not like she's been training Longer than he has, and percy needs annabeth's wisdom because Obviously he has none of his own, Right?? (someone save percy from the stupid allegations i can't do it in these conditions Richard—this is all your fault Richard & the fandom Is Not Helping—)

all in all i think Richard's just...not good at writing established relationships as opposed to build up, which is funny because he pairs so many ships off-page & then we gotta see the amalgamations for the rest of the books (someone save solangelo i can't i need a cig—)

also for the record i think perachel is underrated. i think there was a point in tlo where percy admitted in the narrative that hanging out with rachel was more carefree than hanging out with annabeth, and that's kind of the ideal you would want in a partner.

so i'll take them or not, i like fanart & cute hc's with them & having them as a background pair. i don't see myself writing anything with them unless it's like a request or something though. i ship both of them with other people more in a Fandom sense, remaining a casual fan of percabeth. i know there's a niche group in the pjo fandom that are anti-percabeth & say annabeth is abusive—i'm not gonna say that's a lie or the truth or anything, i can see where they're coming from but i can see the other side of it too.

so yeah, that's pretty much my unorganized ramblings on percabeth ! thanks for asking !!

[drbtinglecannon]

Hello, friend!!! I hope things have gotten at least a little better for you 💖

Meanwhile, for the fanfic writing asks: 1, 7, 10, 22, 29, 37, 72 (the questions are truly so good, haha, stopping now)

Thanks pal, I had a couple days off which was nice! Unfortunately I had to go to the vet again lol

(there are so many good questions haha!)

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the idea strikes?

I do both, but I will say going for it as soon as the idea strikes yields more finished projects than when I spend a lot of time daydreaming about it because sometimes it's like, so vivid I end up not writing anything because I got to "read" the fic already haha

7. Post a snippet from a wip

I gotta be honest all the wips I've been working on the last couple weeks are smut lol, but I did really enjoy this bit! (completely sfw)

The man had a pep to his step as he kicked the door shut behind them and led Genshin into the messy living space, knowingly stepping over every pile of miscellaneous items littering the floor without sparing any of them a passing glance.

Mikotoba had the patience of an angel to deal with such clutter.

“You can lay him down here," Sholmes gestured to a pink chaise lounge. It had a dark stain on one cushion and singe marks down the front legs. “Coffee, and a tiny – nay, miniscule – fire, neither a thing to worry about." Sholmes explained without prompting while gesturing with wide hand movements the entire time.

10. Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

I typically jump around between ideas, but if I'm trying really hard to focus on something I will only work on it for as long as I can until it's finished or I get distracted

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

This one really fluctuates and is partially dependent on if I have a brand new document open or if I'm just adding onto a LONG document full of miscellaneous ideas and wips. It's so chaotic but that's usually what I do when I first get into something so I can just pump out all my thoughts as quickly as possible and focus on the ideas I really like haha. Brand new documents I need to title otherwise it annoys me to see "untitled document" in my list

Sometimes I have the title before I have anything written (and sometimes that results in the title changing), sometimes I come with it while writing and immediately title the document/section of long ass document as such, and sometimes I'm staring at the AO3 page like "oh yeah I forgot to come up with a title"

Fic titles aren't difficult for me tho, I really love coming up with them! They are usually play on words around the fic premise, or just puns or references haha, and occasionally I'll do song lyrics titles. But yeah titling fics is no problem for me, it's titling original content that I can never think of anything

29. What's something about your writing that you're proud of?

37. What fic has been the hardest for you to write?

Honestly I'm just proud of ever writing at all haha. For the most part I really enjoy rereading my own writing and it's just a nice sense of accomplishment when I finish an idea since honestly I finish like <5% of my wips. So many ideas end up just being a title/summary/a few paragraphs written down before it's unfortunately abandoned for presumably forever haha

So yeah I'm proud of ever finishing stuff

Definitely "The extension of your soul in my unworthy hands" oh man writing fight scenes is difficult lol. I was pretty proud of that fic at the time despite the difficulties writing, but I haven't reread it in a while so idk how well it held up to my standards

72. What's your favorite writing compliment you've gotten?

I have been lucky to receive a lot of beautiful and sweet comments on my writing (that I unfortunately am. So bad at responding to and I'm looking at the timestamps screaming from how long they've been....) but one that stands out was a mutual telling me that my prose is straightforward and emotional but doesn't linger for longer than usual and I about died receiving such a professional critique.

I.. want to respond to old comments so so badly but I'm afraid haha, especially since I'll have to apologize in all of them oTL

[anarchy-and-piglins]

just hopping off "first fic i read from you" here, mine was "I Will Come Around When the Time for Sleep Is Through". it made such an impact on me, physically changed my brain chemistry, like wow. idk how many times i've reread it but MAN i love the premise and the writing and the everything so so so much. it's bby techno but also angst and the scene where tommy and phil go to the graves and the lines "theyre not dead but theyre still gone" and "phil would have told him how tired he was of losing everything that mattered" !!! living RENT FREE IN MY HEAD i tell you. RENT FREE.

i just. i love explorations of grief and like, how do you mourn someone who's technically still there but not really? how much of someone consists of memories & experiences, if those are wiped away are they really who they were before? and the characterization of how self-sacrificial techno is bc he seems to feel like he's the same in every lifetime (but he also doesn't deal with the emotional aftermath) but for phil, not so much bc he's the one who has to grieve by himself every time while also raising a toddler who's kind-of-maybe-used-to-be his best friend. ALSO the way phil's lived centuries and techno's never made it past 25 which speaks to so much loss, and how phil wishes techno would choose himself for once but idk if he would ever tell him that, you know? and even if so, if techno would actually ever choose himself because hes so undyingly loyal to the people he loves.

anyways. yeah.

i didn't have an ao3 account back then, i saved fics in my browser bookmarks like a maniac and i checked them every day. i remember VIVIDLY being so excited whenever i found an update for this one. now i stay updated via email notifs, which i gotta say, takes a lot less time. long story short <3333

Ah, this brings back some memories. How weird it feels to know I wrote that fic a good 3 years ago now. That's how long I've been obsessed with Techno... I have mixed feelings towards my old fics (I have mixed feelings towards all of my own writing lol, every artist is their own worst critic I guess) but there are some parts of that fic I really do still like a lot, the handling of grief is one of them. I'm glad it resonated with you so much, Anon. I think writing something that sticks with a person even years after they read it is every author's big dream, so I'm very honoured <3

[korrasamibottles]

I just reread the space between heartbeats and I suddenly need you to tell me everything about it! What gave you the idea for all the story beats and details???

Thank you so much for asking (and for re-reading?? Such an amazing compliment wow)!! I'm still completely floored by how sweet everyone has been about this fic....I wrote it from the heart so the positivity really means a lot😭 Also sorry this got so long oh my god lol.

Before I even started writing, I knew I wanted to come at the whole thing from Mako's perspective. He's such a complicated and fascinating character to me, and there's so much potential to explore how the trauma of witnessing his parents' murder and the depersonalization of having to be brother-father-protector-provider to a younger sibling while also still a child led to him being SO detached from his own wants and needs and feelings, and so used to thinking of himself as a tool rather than a person, that if somebody asked him point blank what he wanted his head would pop.

But maybe...after spending a lot of time around somebody who isn't afraid to openly want things and ask for them....Mako could start thinking about what HE wants, so that when somebody finally does ask him he's able to untangle his feelings enough to actually put them into words.....?

Mako's character has such a strong presence and I didn't want Wu to feel flat in comparison, or for it to seem like he was only there to further Mako's development, so I decided to give Wu the benefit of having the setting be all about him.

This also gave me an opening to show how Mako's influence could give Wu the push he needed to shake off the spoiled prince persona and become the more mature, compassionate man he always had the potential to be. We saw the beginnings of that in the show and in Ruins of the Empire, and I like to think they'll continue on that trajectory even though I'm not getting my hopes up for any wuko crumbs whatsoever in the Mako solo comic.

(Everyone already knows this because I never shut up about it, but what makes me so bonkers about wuko is the potential for them to bring out the best in each other. That kind of dynamic is fucking gold to me.)

Anyway. Once I had the POV and setting figured out, I had to give Mako a reason to be there, and I thought, well, he hasn't yet reached the point where he's able to admit he has feelings for Wu (even inside his own head) so the pretext of him deciding he had to keep Wu alive to protect the fragile democratization process felt right and seemed plausible.

The first two scenes came together from a few lines I poached from an unfinished korrasami wip....

"That's not–I'm not–we're just colleagues, Asami," he splutters convincingly.

"Yeah? So everyone at the precinct just hand-feeds each other moon peach slices in the morning, then? That's standard 'colleague' behavior?"

"Asami–"

"And right at the breakfast table," she whispers dramatically, shaking her head in mock disapproval and relishing how the blush has spread from his ears down his neck. "We all saw you practically purring into his hands, Mako. Like a damn octocat."

....and this bit of dialogue from the closet scene

“What kind of closet locks from the inside!?”

“You tell me! You grew up here!”

“Not in this closet!”

I turned the peach lines into a whole scene because I loved the idea of Wu being like "teehee I am getting him to try something new and fun" meanwhile Mako's like 3 seconds away from just snapping and sucking on Wu's fingers. Except it's rated T so. You know. Gotta be more subtle about it lol.

As for the closet dialogue....I'm a simple woman and I will never ever get tired of closet-themed jokes and accidents. My personal headcanon re: Wu's sexuality is that it was kind of like an open secret among the royal family. Like he'd flirt with women in public just to keep up appearances but really, everyone knew. Hence the "not in this closet!" line. To be clear, I don't think the royal family was ok with it, and I'm sure he suffered for it, but in this fic I positioned him further along in his own self-acceptance journey than Mako.

The next scene didn't unfold as easily, and I really, really struggled with it. Mako was a bit of a ticking time bomb by this point in the story–the tension had been rising for a while, and I knew it had to break eventually, but I wanted it to break in the right way.

I wrote several different versions, but every time the dialogue got away from me and it always ended the same way: with them getting into an actual argument and Mako storming out the door. And that was Not the vibe I was going for. I wanted more of an "oh fuck" moment rather than a "this guy is pissing me off and I have to get out of here" one. Mako has a tendency to get snappy in emotional situations, and that combined with him being an acts-of-service kind of person made the "it's my job to worry about you!" line finally click into place.

Deep down, Mako knows he's more than just a bodyguard to Wu, he knows how Wu feels about him, but he can't let himself really think about it. Because if he's more than his work, more than just a tool to be used, if Wu wants him around simply because he enjoys his company and not because Mako is providing a service, then that means Mako's entire sense of self is built on a lie. That's a terrifying realization, with or without the added element of internalized homophobia (and I had to add it. For maximum angst.)

I knew I wanted the fic to end with Mako realizing that the way he'd been operating simply wasn't healthy or sustainable, followed by a dramatic confession of feelings, but how to get there? Well why not invent a weird old bug woman. I thought a sort of grandmotherly figure might be somebody Mako would take seriously, and also I selfishly just wanted a woman in the story lol.

I honestly don't know where the ant spiral idea came from–maybe it's something I learned about as a kid that's been haunting the crevices of my brain for years. But it felt like an interesting way to symbolize how Mako was on a self-destructive path of repeating the same harmful behaviors over and over. If he kept depriving himself of meaningful connections, never stepped outside his comfort zone, continued avoiding learning how to process his emotions, and kept letting his fear and his pain decide what he was and wasn't allowed to want, he'd only keep inadvertently hurting himself and the people he cares about. That sort of thing. But he's stubborn, and needed to figure it out himself, so I let Qin Li give him the pieces (dare I say peaches?) so he could put it all together.

The final scene was written in its entirety at the auto shop, because apparently that's where my muse lives. Great place to write, can't recommend broken cars highly enough. Anyway, I wanted his eventual admission to feel like removing a giant splinter, which is to say: extremely painful and strained, but a huge relief once it's out. Difficult as it was, he needed to actually verbalize that shit not only for himself but also because it wouldn't have been fair for Wu to have to be in a relationship with somebody who couldn't even admit the feelings were real. And of course I had to have Wu jump into his arms at some point. Couldn't resist :)

One other thing I just thought about (and can't figure where to put it in this post, so I guess I'll just stick it here) is that I had fun giving both of them weird little quirks. Like Mako being an anxious/compulsive skin picker and Wu being fidgety and refusing to wear his glasses.

OH YEAH ONE MORE THING. Mako yanking on the doorknob in the closet was 100% a euphemism. For something.

[herbofgraceandpeace]

My informal review of The Last Graduate (here be spoilers)

Well, I just finished The Last Graduate, and I’m just sitting with all my muscles clenched in tension and sorrow, lol

But seriously, what an interesting ending……I’m not sure what to make of it yet? The narrative was leading you to expect a big push/big sacrifice from El when something inevitably went wrong, and I was hoping that everything would simply go right (obviously), but I wasnt unaware of Orion’s opportunity to make the self-sacrifice play. WAS IT NECESSARY THOUGH???? *insert look how they massacred my boy meme. i think i read way too much of this book late last night (whoops), so my comprehension of it is not as developed as with the first book (shame on me for reading too fast like a glutton), but what a great sequel! I liked watching El wrestle with learning to trust people and work as a team, I loved watching her relationship with sisters sorry her friends develop, and I loved the growth of her relationship with Orion as well*. I will say I think his character has been a little underutilized at times, in a way not untypical for a romantic interest of either gender, but Novik that’s my mannnnnnnnnnnn, I wanna read about him! But we definitely did get some good scenes that developed he and El’s relationship and seemed the seeds for some of his own character development (let this man GROW). I’m not sure yet how I think the ending plays into that. If Patience-Fortitude was truly going to recenter the world, then his sacrifice was noble and necessary. But if it wasn’t, then why does my precious child need to kill it himself instead of letting El cast it into the void, hmmm? Side note: I loved El finally coming to appreciate the Scholomance cause I was freaking devastated by her willingness to condemn it. Maybe if I had suffered as much as she had, I’d hate my Alma mater too, but the loss of a place you know so well, a place where you have the happy memories of making your first friends—that’s gotta count for something, right?

I forgot to mention this in my review of A Deadly Education, but El’s Mom and their relationship is so important. God bless her, I’d love to meet her. I’d be exasperated at her character role as the Sole Voice of Truth and Goodness, except that’s the truths attributed to her are valuable, nuanced, and beautiful, and her knowledge of them makes sense in the context of how she has chosen to live her life. A life of uncomprising, open-hearted service and self-sacrifice teaches you a lot! Which brings us to one of my favorite bits of the book. I adore that Novik, Scholomance, and El all realize that you have to be faithful in the little moments because they shape you!!!! She had grown accustomed to saving the freshman instead of sacrificing them for her own benefit, and this shaped her character and prepared her to realize and then do what needed to be done to save them all. (I have so many good quotes saved without page numbers, so you’ll get those later, but boy howdy, these books have so beautiful things to say)

I’m so, so invested in what’s going to happen in the next book, but I’m not ready to have finished this delightful trilogy either. They’re going to be great rereads for sure! Here’s hoping things turn out okay for Orion (also why did El’s mother warn her off him? We do not know.) I’d love to see El get to change the world with her tiny enclaves, despite my dislike of large stakes in a story since they often render the plot unwieldy to the point of disbelief. It’s hard to write a story about something that changes the world without either 1. Writing Lord of the Rings or 2. Being massively and disgustingly reductive about what it takes to change the world and the u comfortable, uncontrollable consequences of doing so. Nevertheless, I am ready to be hurt again!

*I am once again asking for people not to put sex scenes in books. Please. Don’t do it. Ever.

[wannaeatramyeon]

HELLO Tom and Olly anon here. DUDE YESSS You absolutely should if you ever get the time or want to!! I personally think they have alot of potential esp with Olly with his absolutely tragic backstory and how "Big Daddy" became, he's got layers and complexity to him, going from an actual really good mannered scholar little boy on the top of his class to an insanely strong numb druggie gangster training under Gun and running Hostel for a while. Even his Hostel members are really amazing and I love all of them so dearly, Chuck Peng and Justin Kwak alongside James Gong(literal crazy ass bitch, Olly 2.0, he's my everything) and Jasmine(rooting for her with James, they deserve each other). I do also majorly love brothers Chuck and Justin but honestly they don't got much going after Olly's death, except for their lil food stand.

Tom on the other hand is kindaa just...big papa? Not alot in terms of backstory and complexity imo I don't think but his character is absolutely hilariously terrifying and so entertaining, and he has a very interesting stance on like...romance? Sensual stuff? I don't even know what to call it, his continuous blabber about women and Ms Kim and dangglers and whatnot. And per Ms. Kim reaction to him saving her and also Minseon Kang calling him an ugly motherfucker, I think it's safe to say he isn't quite, a chick magnet, in the usual pretty boy sense? So l've always let my mind wonder on about that untapped rusted over faucet that is interactions with him.

Super sorry l'm just spilling in the asks, I just wanna share my own little blabbers and thoughts to boost your interest if you still are.😭💖 Thank you for reading over if you did! AH AND ALSO very much thank you for the link last time, you are literally serving us buffets of thoughts, 600+ is insane!!! And your interpretations of the characters are So good its arms in arms with canon stuff honestly, I’d say its super accurate or at least enough to be able to envision the characters acting like that. 🥹🥹💖🙏🙏

Hello Tom and Olly Anon (this made me lol). Yknow I was actually thinking about Olly today. Man I really really need to reread the chapters cos I gotta be honest you've piqued my interest!

I am also really hoping James and Jasmine and their deranged army of lil Eli Jangs make a reappearance cos that shit was so interesting.

Tom is a harder sell for me to take seriously or at least with the stuff I usually write which is sorta fluffy, occasional crack. Maybe the crack fits him better cos all the dangler comments (whether actually serious or not) is all I can remember of him lmao.

Aww thank you for being so sweet! I think the overall fandom has done a lot with adding to the characters tbh, and talking about them with other people has helped so much with fleshing them out! And then in turn, I'm a lil gremlin in a darkened corner churning out my brainrot and headcanons 😁

[castlebyersafterdark]

i gotta say i’m not really one to spiral about being single or worry about my relationship status much other than a stray thought or comment here and there (inevitable when you’re a fic reader lol) but oh man vinnyyyy… reading your takes on byler intimacy and sex and established relationship shenanigans paired with the lovely tidbits of your life with your partner that you’ve chosen to share with us have made me actually upset over being single for the first time in YEARS 😭 it’s not just about me wanting to be in a relationship or date someone, if that makes sense, but more specifically that i constantly find myself yearning for the type of intimacy and closeness that we talk about on this blog so often and just really looking forward to the day when i’ve found someone to build that foundation and share that life with! thoughts inspired by a reread of your recent fic on ao3 lol, someday it’ll be my turn to get my hair tenderly washed by my s/o in the bath. somedayyyyyy. hope you and z are doing well haha 🫶

Hello dear 🫂 Awww I don't even know what to say, I want you to feel ok!! Don't despair. Everyone has their own journey, there's joy in life all around. I get it, I understand, I do. I'm so inadequate at finding the words to reassure but I hope there are things you find that do bring you comfort. It can happen for you, keep dreaming, keep allowing yourself to be open to love - and it sounds like you are, as that's what you're yearning for. Your day will arrive. I was in your shoes, dreaming and aching for it. Someday. Yes, I found it. It was a process. And we are all always a work in progress. Never give up hope ❤️

But also - thank you for your kind words, it means a lot that you think I've succeeded in portraying that sort of relationship in my fic. Really was my goal because I'm so inspired by these two lovely characters. And it's also a way to process and share some of how I do honestly feel in my own life. I infuse a lot of myself in my writing, that one in particular was a piece written out of a desire for comfort and from what my own relationship provides me. So glad it worked.

We are very very well, thank you, since you so kindly asked. We've made a lot of big decisions lately, some unexpected, as this is our year ❤️❤️❤️

[dogsstew]

Will you ever add a chapter 3 to the bends 🙏

yes I will. its not abandoned. I think I just get into these fits of 'im actually a terrible writer and I hate it' moments so I stop and forget about where I was, or what the last thing I wrote was. I had this streak of writing every day, so I have reread that opening paragraph, no joke, 40+ times and I got so sick of it. BUT I WANNA POST IT! this 14k is not even the finished chapter (which is prob bad news lol). I made the Spring Break fic as a distraction, and then it also started turning into homework so I think I just gotta sit down and finish one then the other. SB will be done by march! (I know ) I started writing it for fun, and then it started to become not so fun bc it was a really serious fic and honestly it's hard to think of shit! especially when these characters arent mine, I dont wanna swerve OOC too much bc I hate that for my own writing. I make art like a crazy person, everything gotta be perfect LOL.

I have many more ideas and half edited pics I gotta finish too! idk HOW or WHAT took over me to get that second chapter of SB out dawg. I think im gonna post a snippet of it on my Patreon soon because it's been in the dark for so long. Thank ya'll for still being interested in it though! I feel like I cringe when I go back and read it, but I really appreciate the noise about it. I still get kudos I still get comments, it's very sweet. TBH, I still love my Bends fic I just think it could be way better. But nobody can help me with that because people cant write for me so it's like a loop.

[lunarleonardo]

Holy fuck I’m so sorry for my last ask. (The one about my brain neurons exploding with multiple misspellings and improper grammar.) My brain was dying; I’m so sorry mate. It’s so illegible it’s not even funny. Uh anyways, I hope you keep on writing even if you decide not to upload works anymore. It’s sad to think about, but we can’t upload works forever, even if we want to. Life just goes on. But what I don’t want you to do is to give up doing something you enjoy. Writing is an art, and you’re Leonardo Da Vinci. (Pun intended.) Even if you hyper-fixate on another fandom, I’ll follow that work. This sounds weird coming from an anonymous person on the internet, but I’ve given up so many things in my life to make others around me happy; I don’t want you to try and push chapters out if you’re feeling burnt out mate. Also, don’t let anyone tell you fanfiction isn’t real writing, coming from an fanfic writer who has been told too many times my work isn’t worth the paper it’s written on lol. Have a wonderful time on earth full of whimsy and inspiration.

Don't worry about that last ask! I thought it was really funny xD Hope you're recovering well from that electric fence though .... /j

Don't worry, nothing could pull me away from writing ^_^ I've been writing and creating stories from the moment I could. I notice a lot of you seem to think I'm pushing myself to write chapters, but I'm really not QwQ . I write because I want to. If I don't want to write, I won't. There are some times I'll force myself to write but thats just the nature of being a writer-- there's some boring things you've gotta tough out. Writing is fun for me! It lets me express how I feel and put my favorites through The Horrors! I wouldn't ever give that up.

and posting fics is really nice :3 I love being able to share what I do. I love the ao3 format so I can go back and sadly reread my own stuff when fics are dry. And if I can provide a bedtime story to anyone else I will happily do so (^○^)

Other than that, thank you!! I'm not sure who's telling you fanfiction isn't "real writing"... I'm not sure what else it'd be @_@; ?? Stay strong out there and keep doing what you love o7 !!!!