#i think we need to open our minds more to the wonderful world of fuck it we ball

[guiltycorp]

Damn i really want to know tf happened in the writing room of arcane s2. Some of the downgrades were inevitable due to the show's corporate limitations (not being able to progress the class war story in a meaningful way, having to tie things back to league of legends in terms of making playable characters more appealing to well, play... rip Mel and Viktor in particular), sure. But i still feel like it's even worse than that? There are so many bad decisions that i couldn't even start listing them all... the characters, plot, pacing, themes, it's just such a mess? Even the dialogue writing, it feels much more mm Marvel at its worst i suppose. What i am most bothered by is probably just the straight up harmful messaging so um... Cycles of violence and abuse can be broken by individual decisions to become a better person! Got nothing to do with systemic oppression, living conditions, mental health issues, you can just conveniently ignore aaall the social context, live laugh love and then things get better automatically yep, oppressors famously stop oppressing you when you show them that you're harmless and won't put up a fight anymore. Literally three out of three suicidal characters dying to redeem themselves? Not even in a tragic/cathartic way but in a bittersweet 'they finally atoned for their mistakes' way? Groundbreaking lmao. Romantic relationship between Vi and Caitlyn including no communication about their biggest fight, just conveniently skipping to sex and getting back together - would have loved that if it was framed as the unhealthy fucked up thing that it is, skipping over Vi's hurt and her background to once again become a cop, her girlfriend's direct underling at that (!) due to her not having any other support systems... But nope that was our cute lesbian romance wrapped up, a good thing all around, not concerning at all. Jayce telling Viktor that what he 'always admired about him' was his disability and his deadly disease (??? from a character who spent the whole s1 and first act of s2 desperately trying to help Viktor find a cure? sure) and that those imperfections don't need fixing, just wtf truly. Magic bullshit was also weird, some implications of 'natural magic is ok, but achieving that power through other means corrupts you into a crazy robot bitch or just wilts your trees i guess', but tbh it was written in such a weird and inconsistent way that we can skip this one... Yeah actually a lot of things were just such a mess that I feel silly pointing to specific moments or lines I didn't like, I mean duh, it barely makes sense as a story at all... I am happy we have s1 which comparatively was a masterpiece, and i also really enjoyed s2 act1, i truly believed it would lead somewhere good at the time, my mind still kind of cuts off the story at that point when i think about it, that WAS the open ending of the show to me (is it possible that there were rewrites? targeting act 2 and 3? idk, wishful thinking perhaps). Despite my extremely negative feelings about this season's conclusion i remain glad that so many people appreciate the show regardless, it is clear that there was STILL a lot of love in the process of its creation (although i'd argue that even some of the visual aspects of the show suffered in quality, once again i have to wonder about behind the scenes mood of it all) and i get very upset when i see creatives online despairing over reception of their projects even when i'm absolutely in the disgruntled crowd hahaha... ...however yeah, this wasn't great In a world that increasingly grows more and more right-wing politically... we really needed something different i think.

[whamss]

Idk maybe it's just my perspective as an aro lesbian but I find the take that, bc the pale quadrant is defined as a type of 'romance' for trolls, all interpretations of pale ships should therefore be seen as strictly romantic and that pale pairings need to correspond directly with both characters stated sexualities to be remarkably limiting and smallminded, personally. I'm all for expanding the definition of what makes a relationship romantic but sometimes I feel like people take 'romance' a little too literally when they try to make 'romance = attraction' as opposed to approaching pale feelings as like. Their own thing. Moiraillagence being a kind of romance for trolls and also being a technically 'platonic' relationship (from a human pov, these are concepts invented by a Human to fuel fan discussion they aren't complex) with very little bearing on whether or not you feel romantic attraction to somebody are two concepts that can coexist.

[joelmillerisapunk]

Vicious

Dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Masterlist ★ Wordcount: 1.8k

📽 —★ Summary: In the quiet solitude of your own home, you revel in the rare freedom of an empty house, indulging in forbidden pleasures on a hot summer day. The unexpected arrival of your dads buddy Joel turns your casual rebellion into something far more thrilling.

📽 —★ Warnings: 18+, mdni, reader is in college but is called a "school girl", wears a uniform that has a skirt. Joel and reader are both kinda assholes to each other. Mentions of smoking cigarettes and drinking beer, age gap (reader is early 20's, Joel is whatever you would like but in my mind 40's or older) p in v, uses of slut and whore, in this world and my daydreams Joel is able to get off multiple times without a break (I am not going for supreme accuracy I am going for porn), if I missed anything please let me know

📽 —★ Notes: Hello, welcome to my comeback fic. Please note that I am very rusty since posting my last fic in July 🫠 but I am very excited to be back writing, reading and posting once again! I hope you enjoy. I've missed being here with all you lovely humans so much 🥹

📽 —★ A big thank you to my wonderful friends for reading/hyping me: @milla-frenchy @evolnoomym @thundermartini and @syd-djarin who also helped me with the mood board 💋 love you all so much. And of course @saradika-graphics for the lovely divider

“I’m home!” you shout the second you walk in the door. Dead silent, no response. You shrug as you make your way to your room but pause halfway up the stairs. No one. That means you can do whatever the hell you want. You walk back down, throwing your backpack to the floor an head to the kitchen, grabbing one of your dad's beers from the fridge, taking it out to the deck. You retrieve your hidden cigarette pack taped beneath the table outside. You grab a cigarette and light it up as you lean back in the chair, opening your legs until your feet rest on either side of the lawnchair. After a stressful day at school, you need some kind of relief. Plus, your schoolgirl uniform is much too uncomfortable on a hot summer day, causing you to undo the top few buttons of your white blouse, allowing the small but cool breeze to graze your exposed skin.

“I always thought you were a bit of a slut.”

You look up to see your dad’s buddy Joel leaning in the doorway, a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth as well. Instead of jumping up, snapping your legs shut, or covering your chest, you give him the finger. That guy can go fuck himself.

“And so polite too.”

“Joel, the last thing I need right now is you and your opinion. School sucked, and I don’t give a shit what you think of me.”

“Christ, kid, I was only fucking with you. I mean, you do look trashy as hell, but that’s okay. I like trashy.”

“Are you hitting on me now? Really? You’re like seventy.”

“Try again sweetheart,” he says, stepping out onto the deck. You try to ignore him as he walks closer until he stops directly in front of you.

“You like the view, asshole?”

“I don’t know,” he says, leaning down and tilting his head. “I wouldn’t have guessed white. I mean, you don’t seem like the innocent type. More like a black satin sort of girl.”

“Oh, don’t you know?” you reply, taking a drag from your cigarette. “We have to wear white panties too. They check us every morning. We line up in a row, and they make us lift our skirts so they can see what we have on under them.”

“I’ll have to see if they have any openings. Sounds like a good job.”

“Oh fuck you. Besides, you wouldn’t know what to do with one of us, let alone three hundred.”

The bastard sinks down until he’s squatting in front of your now wet panties, still smoking as he admires the view. You finally reach down, open your legs wider, and give him the finger with your hand right in front of your cunt. If he wants to look, he can fucking look at that.

“If you didn’t want me, you’d be in the house already instead of sitting there with those pretty legs open.”

“Is that what you think?” you ask, trembling in spite of yourself. He’s a huge dick, but he’s also right. You do like teasing him, and the thought of him going home and jerking off over you is fun.

“I know it,” he says, sitting down at the bottom of the chair.

“And what would you do with a girl like me? I’ve probably had more sex than you’ll ever have. Better sex too.”

“What, with some stupid school boy who fucks like a jackhammer, hoping he’s found the right hole?”

You look at him, rolling your eyes and shaking your head before butting your cigarette.

“Why don’tcha unbutton that shirt some more? Let me see how you’ve filled out.”

“Jesus Christ. What do you think my dad would say if he saw you eyeing his daughter up and down like a piece of meat?”

“What do you think he’d do if he saw you sitting here spread eagle, smoking a cigarette and drinking his beer? His sweet little angel, showin’ off for his friend?" he responds playfully, raising his eyebrows.

You sit up in the chair, never breaking his gaze as you undo the next two buttons of your blouse, revealing your naked chest.

“You’re not going to do a thing,” you say, reaching down and opening your shirt just enough for him to get a glimpse. “You’re going to sit there and drool over my body.”

“Is that whatcha think?” he chuckles. “What's actually going to happen is that I'm going to bend you over and fuck you until you cry.”

“You’d probably come the second you got a glimpse of my pussy. I bet you’re so hard right now you can barely think."

“Try me,” he says, moving up between your legs. His hand now under your skirt.

“Let go and I’ll show you,” you say, your voice nearly catching in your throat. He moves his hand in an instant. You reach down, gently touching the lips around your clit through the thin white fabric. Joel watches the entire time, never taking his eyes off of your hand. “Is this what you want?” you say, pulling the white cotton to one side, exposing your pussy to his greedy eyes.

“It’s a start,” he replies as he moves closer. He lifts your legs up over his knees. You are silent as he unzips his pants, and as much as you try not to watch, you can’t help yourself. He reaches in, and in one fluid motion, his cock juts out of his boxers.

“Jesus,” you say as he begins to stroke himself slowly. He’s only partially hard, but his cock is big and thick, and you are on dangerous ground.

“Just like those high school boys?” he asks, reaching out, grabbing you around the waist. Before you can protest, he pulls you up onto his lap, his hard cock stuck between your pussy and his stomach. His other hand joins the first until his fingers dig into the cheeks of your ass. His face is inches from you.

“You don’t have the nerve,” you say, not willing to look away.

Joel wastes no time as he tears your blouse open, the last remaining buttons flying off as he pulls it down over your shoulders, your bare breasts now fully visible. He tugs it down even further until it slides off your arms, leaving you topless.

“I’m going to fuck you, baby. I’m going to push those panties to one side, shove my big cock in you, and then listen to you scream.”

“I’ll tell my dad,” you whisper.

“No you won’t,” he says, sliding his hand all the way beneath you. As he holds you tight, he slips his fingers beneath your panties and then inside your now soaking wet pussy, working them in and out for a few seconds before bringing his hand up to your mouth and pushing his fingers between your lips. You gladly lick your excitement off his thick digits, feeling his large cock grow against you.

“You’re going to come in seconds," you whisper. “If you even make it inside me. You have no idea how sweet my little cunt is."

“Guess we’ll have to find out. But first, let’s see if you’re right, or if you’re just a filthy little slut who needs another dick.”

Before you can think of a response, he lifts you up, pushing your panties to one side, and then guides his large cock into you. In one swift motion, he’s deep inside of you, and you are on his lap. You try to suppress a moan as he pulls you closer.

“You knew this was going to happen the second you saw me. And so did I,” he adds.

He begins to move slowly, feeling him slide in and out of you each time you tighten your grip. Fuck, he feels good; his cock hitting your walls in all the right places. It’s not fair.

“And you’re a whore,” he says, moving his mouth down your chin, making his way down your neck.

“You’re an asshole,” you mutter, causing him to thrust harder.

“Which is why you’re letting me fuck you.” His hands run through your hair, gripping it in his hand as he continues to fuck you. You moan louder, trying to hold back a scream as his fingers grip tighter and tighter around your hair. You can feel his balls throbbing against you as his breath quickens. You are on fire as his cock pumps into your wet, hot, sensitive pussy, causing both of you to groan loudly. You can tell he’s close to his own release; you can feel your pussy convulsing, and you start moving on him harder. He grabs your hips, holding you still as he pounds himself into you. His balls clench tight as he groans loudly in ecstasy, his breath harsh with lust. His climax soon follows after, rope after rope of hot liquid exploding inside of you. He stays buried inside of you as the orgasm takes over him completely. After a few moments of catching his breath, Joel looks at you and mutters between breaths, "Just because I came doesn’t mean I’m done with you.”

And then he pulls out of you, flipping you over, pushing you down onto the deck chair and your panties to the side so you can feel him against you, his cock still dripping. But then, somehow, he’s back inside of you, fucking you into the fabric of the chair. “You might be cute, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop.”

“Oh fuck,” you gasp, feeling his weight against you, pinning you down. When he reaches an arm around your neck, you begin to moan. Oh god, don’t stop Joel. Don’t stop fucking me; I’m gonna come.”

“That’s right, baby. Come for me. Come like the little slut you are.”

“Fuck!” you cry out, feeling yourself let go completely. You shake and tremble as you clench around him. His breath picks up as he’s close to his own orgasm.

“I’m going to come in this pussy one more time.”

“No!” you beg, needing to at least pretend to resist when in fact you don't want this to ever end. The thought of him coming in you again makes your pussy tighten in anticipation. Then finally, when it seems he won't ever come inside of you, he does. Your entire body begins trembling, fighting against another orgasm. As you feel him pull out of you, he turns you over, putting his hand in your panties and cupping your cheek. Your eyes open wide, and you can feel the warm liquid dripping from your thighs. He looks down at his own cock. It too has started to twitch.

“Look at the mess you made," he whispers, placing the tip of his cock into the wetness. "You'd better clean this up before someone sees. You're going to lick every drop,” he commands. You nod. "Good girl."

As you place kisses along his cock, licking away any remaining semen, Joel watches in amusement. You stand up, looking up at him.

“Are you satisfied?" you ask.

“For now," he smirks, turning towards the house. "See ya tomorrow." With that, he goes up the porch steps, his back to you and makes his way home, only to be back tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after.

[wordsinhaled]

thinking about how much crowley and aziraphale have been getting slammed for their poor communication and on the one hand... absolutely, i agree 100%. they have so much work to do in that department, they are always missing each other when it comes to seeing what they each want from the other and expressing it clearly. but on the other hand... like... encompassing six thousand years into a conversation? six thousand years of knowing each other. six thousand years of gravitating toward one another

like... the bit that really gets me, in crowley's confession, is - "...and we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't. i mean, the last few years, not really" - this implication that like... at least on crowley's part... since they saved the world together he's allowed himself to be more open in how he feels about aziraphale. that in his mind he's already long since chosen Their Side, they've chosen their side in their behavior towards each other, and they've talked about... our car, our shop, but even before that...

we see in the minisodes, the way they already act. they're a pair that shows rather than tells all the time and it's so abundantly clear that everyone around them can see it, is constantly asking about it, assuming it, reading it on them like they're an open book - with everyone but each other.

but like how do you put into clumsy human words how much love you feel for someone who stood next to you while you created the stars? who helped you create them? how do you say openly how you feel to the one person who understands you and your nature better than anyone else, who indulges your every whim because they want to see you happy while everyone else says you were built wrong, you're too indulgent, you're too soft but you're perfect for him, specifically, because you stood at the beginning of the universe together?

like how are they supposed to talk about that? especially when it's so forbidden to talk about that?

there are so few words that truly feel like they properly encompass what love truly and genuinely means? what loving someone TRULY means? how it's giving up your onliness and entrusting yourself into the hands of another, now you're not just you, now you're you but the world is brighter and sharper and more beautiful because of another? how we're all stuck on a spinning rock in the middle of space in the middle of the universe in the middle of the galaxy in the middle of eternity just little grains of sand and then there's another little grain of sand in the scheme of things, but it's the most important one ever created because of how happy it makes you?

but multiply that by six thousand years

so like of course you fucking cry and you stare at each other with tears in your eyes like you're absolutely ESSENTIAL to one another. but like how do you make it work in words when you don't know if there are even words for the prospect of existing without one another? and you have this absolutely incandescent and fragile thing between you that everyone understands to exist, you understand it to exist too, and sometimes it is scary as fuck to admit that you need someone. it is terrifying and uncomfortable and vulnerable and we're just people who live maybe 100 years on this earth? a blink of an eye compared to six thousand years of shared existence?

like...? truthfully i don't think i could talk about it easily either because oh my god that's fucking terrifying. that six thousand years of your comfortable and beloved shared existence could go up in smoke with one misplaced word. like no fucking WONDER he can't get the words out. and no fucking wonder, it's easier to couch things in terms like group and team and everything when you're on the verge of falling apart into a million pieces because the other half of your soul wants to leave you behind. it's easier to say come with me, work with me, be my second in command, than to admit he's first in your heart and mind every second of every day since you saw him bringing light at the beginning of the universe???

just... you know? they need a fucking break. they need a vacation. they need a cottage in the south fucking downs

[cherriegyuu]

to the start of forever | ljh

pairing: jihoon x f!reader   genre: fluff  word count: 0.9k  summary: eating out with your boyfriend leads to the start of a new life warnings: mentions of food  please, remember to comment and reblog, it does mean the world to me and i would love to know your opinions.

You made a low sound at the back of your throat as soon as the rich flavor of the tomato sauce hit your tongue. There was a high chance that you had found your new favorite street vendor or maybe you just were very much hungry after an entire day of not eating anything at all — you were late to leave the apartment in the morning. There was no time to eat during the day so that bite of pizza was the first real food you were getting since the night before. It was like they said, hunger is best seasoning, or something like that?

“You like it that much?” Jihoon asked by your side, laughter dancing in his eyes but he too had his mouth full, so laughing was a no. He knew how you got if you so much as caught a glimpse of the food in his mouth. 

“You don’t?” you took another bite, closing your eyes and shaking your legs a little. 

Sure, hunger did wonder for the taste of the food, but there was no way it got that delicious just because of it. Whatever it was in there, you wanted more of it. 

“I like it, but I think I like that place close to the mall better” he shook his shoulders;

“You’re fucking crazy, that tastes like ass” the seller laughed loudly, pointing a finger at you with a knowing smile. You turned to Jihoon, eyebrows raised “He agrees with me”

“It’s a fine ass”

It was almost like a reflex, you half hit his arm, half pushed him away. It was all a joke, both of you were both laughing and it was much needed after the shit day you had. 

When you dreamed of being a teacher you knew that it was hard, knew that there were going to be bad days, and days that you would want to give up, but those were starting to be the normal. Being late that morning was nothing and it barely mattered. But Jihoon knew just how bad it had gotten, he had learned to read between the lines of what you said, and he knew what to look for in the thing you didn’t say. And for that alone you loved him. 

To Jihoon, your mind was like an open book he could read at anytime time. And it had been like that from the start. The kind of connection the two of you shared was intense from the start and it was larger than anything either of you ever experienced. It was unexpected how you just felt drawn to him, and him to you. After the first meeting, when you got introduced to him by mutual friends you did something you had never bothered to do before: you went looking for him on instagram. You didn’t mean to follow him and you certainly didn’t mean to like one of his pictures from years before. 

It was a surprise, truly, when he first DMed you — something that later on you found out that it was completely out of character for him. And from there on, both of you were just stuck together. You were talking for months through texts and then when you finally met in person, it was explosive. 

That happened two and a half years before and every day ever since was filled with Jihoon and his quiet love. Quiet, yes, but all so big. Every day you felt like you were embraced by him, even on days you didn’t see each other. 

Jihoon nugged you with his knee drawing back your attention. 

“Hm?” you smiled at him.

He ran his hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face, his face turned towards the sky for a second before he looked at you again. There was this different light in his eyes, something you had never seen before, but it was enchanting. 

“I know our lives aren’t really easy right now, we are not at the place we want to be without jobs, and a lot of it isn't looking good or promising yet. But there’s one thing I’m sure of and it’s that I want to be with you every step of the way. I want to wake up with you every day, I want to take you for a greasy pizza after you had a shit day. I don’t have much to offer you, but whatever I have, I want to share with you”

You felt like your heart stopped for an entire minute. It was like your body forgot that it was supposed to do things on its own. 

“Are you proposing?” you breathed, forcing your lungs to work again.

He smiled a little, somewhat embarrassed while nodding.

“I know it’s not amazing and I don’t even have a ring to give you. All I have is my love and this promise, and I know it’s not much…”

You covered his mouth with your hand. Your eyes were filled with unshed tears at the same time a smile took over your face.

“No, no, it’s perfect” you moved your hand, holding onto his cheek and pulling him to you until your lips were pressed over his “I love you so much”

“I promise to make a better proposal later, give you a ring” he laughed a little.

“Don’t you dare, I love this” you shook your head “It was perfect. This is absolutely my new favorite place in the world. I say yes to ring though”

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[ohno-the-sun]

Spoiler heavy fnaf ruin dlc rant up ahead

I am so fucking proud of steal wool they really took every criticism from the original game and fixed it and even added more

Like Cassie actually acts like a human being?? And like her knowledge of the original characters and cute little comments on every item are so endearing there is so much detail going into this.

The fact that they expanded on one of the fan faves Roxanne and giving her a great arc I’m in love I’m so happy

They honestly gave more depth to all the animatronics too like we finally see Bonnie’s design and get and get a taste as to what happened, also that poster Freddy gifted him I’m crying they are so cute and gay I love them

😭😭😭

Also the whole dark ride section with Monty is so fascinating like is that narrative kind of true or is it just fabricated by fazbear inc to cover up the decommissioning of Bonnie

Why replace Bonnie with Monty?? Why not make a new Bonnie model?? With the prototype label on Freddy it may be confirmed that they make multiple models (well we already kinda knew that with Freddies comments but oh well)

Also Freddy?? Like is that our Freddy or a different one?? They very clearly highlighted the prototype label so they want to emphasize it, but then the head is still missing like in the princess quest ending so what is the truth??

Feel bad for chica fans tho she really was sidelined hard

Aaaaa and my baby boys!!! There’s 3 now aaahaga

I was really not expecting eclipse to be the way they were, very… normal? Is that the right word?? Like obviously a little delusional on when the daycare is gonna open again, but in the right mindset of like this child needs to leave this place is not safe. It is interesting to me that both he and Roxy thought that it was Cassie’s birthday, maybe that was the last day before she left the plex? Or maybe that was the day the plex caught fire? Or maybe most depressingly we are playing on Cassie’s birthday so the animatronics have it in their systems what her birthday is and wish her a happy one (if they are in the right state of mind lol)

Some peeps are upset moon is a little too villainous

I think you can still say it was mainly the virus but I would argue even if it’s not the virus I feel like moon is kinda justified here. Like sun has been shutting him away for a long time before this (if the books are to be believed but also in general) so when he finally gets a chance to roam free of course he’s gonna take it. And idk about u but if my alternate personality was constantly trying to shut me out and I finally got control, I probably too would try and keep my control for as long as possible. Also from what I have seen so far, not even moon is all that aggressive? Like he grabs you at the beginning, but I think that’s just his very ineffective way to get kids to sleep and other than that he just kinda stays away

Poor sunny baby is stuck in the ar world 🥺🥺 I didn’t notice at first but yeah everytime you talk to him it’s only in the ar world. And the end part where you switch them out for eclipse if you do that in the ar world, he says not for me it’s for moon.

I will say though I noticed the voice acting for them changed a little this game, like both have a higher pitch and are more goofy sounding? Like more gremlin energy than evil villainy. I wonder if that was on purpose? Both of them sounded more like the other so maybe that was the reason? Interest interest

Also their mouth moves?? Sort of?? That’s so silly to me they have a whole working mouth system and their face mask doesn’t work with at all 😭

Does give me lore intrigue tho cause like why do their mouths move but not anymore?? Did something happen?? Are they just not maintained enough?? They also move outward instead of up and down (at least from what I saw) so is the mechanism different?

Also the way that sun and moon talk about eachother is so interesting. Like moon says the light hurts “us” and sun says “no the other me” like they seem to almost consider eachother more connected than we first thought, like they’re not just coworkers or strangers they are almost like two sides of the same person. It’s very interesting and I wonder where people will take this.

Overall great job I’m so excited to comb through the game and find every little secret (especially regarding the dca) aaaa

Ok ok update moon does have a jump scare but it’s ridiculously hard to get and I’d still argue he’s not as vicious as he was base game. I mention in another post but eclipse being as kind as he is and being (presumably) a combination of both AIs, gives even more evidence moon is supposed to be kind and caring like his posters suggest but something went wrong. Also Cassie’s comments on their plushes show that there were kids who truly liked the daycare.

[hazelfoureyes]

Sending in anon because I'm a coward... 😩

I'm a new reader, and I just have to say-- your "a doe in fall" series is just... AMAZING!!

I could go on, and on and on about how much I love it. But what gets me the most is always Alastor's dialogue, because as someone who is also on the aro/ace spectrum, I just get it so much. Especially the subtle hoping that reader can like... Read his mind about how he feels for her, and the weird sort of stockholm syndrome we sometimes develop with ourselves after being alone with only our own company for so long, and it really is, lol, like you just get so used to being alone for so long because you know the idea people have of you, you can't truly live up to, so you don't want to "disappoint" them that you actually aren't like they are, so you just sorta... Keep them occupied at arms length-- Therefore you're forced to adapt to your company being the only love you have for a long time. it's like an obligation.

And when or if the special somebody who understands you comes along, you realize... "Wow, I've been living like this for so long, is this what it feels like to be loved and appreciated, in spite of my oddities, or maybe even in favor of them? Strange..."

Emphasis on the "strange" part because, when you're so deeply entrenched in your own soul, sharing your space for another almost feels more like learning how to swim rather than an instant "click", sparks, fireworks and whatnot. The excitement of the magical "other" has been long since drowned and snuffed out of you.

So, when this somebody who is similar to you, or just simply understands, doesn't try to change you or ignore you, but instead envelopes you and adores you, the appreciation is deep and overflowing. But there's a part of you always pinching your heart, a sort of awareness of something that isn't the case, wondering "Is this a dream? what if it is and I'll wake up and this is not at all what I was thinking?".

Haha... ANYWAY, sorry for the slightly morose and LONG read 😂 But I always think of how similar I am to how you write alastor and it's scary in a way, but comforting (especially since he's my first and biggest fictional crush) except in this case my profession would actually be burlesque. Especially since I work in the exotic dance world. It's fascinating being aro/ace in the SW world, I could go on forever- But yeah, I absolutely love your writing!! Makes me feel less alone in this world. Annnd surprisingly I always feel so sensual after reading, I love love love it!! Reading before work always gets me in the mood to dance and pretend I'm Y/N, lol!!

Much blessings ❤️❤️

*cracks knuckles* listen here babycakes, I eat this shit UP. Exploring Human Ace Alastor is my BREAD AND BUTTER. I go into ESSAYS in the AO3 comments in this 😂

you really understand, which makes me so happy and is confirmation I’m conveying him the way I want to.

Now I’m gonna ramble and echo you basically 😂

I really think Alastor (atleast in this story) feels that excitement and strangeness of how open he can be around Autumn (since she doesn’t have a proper name cuz she’s reader 😂). He’s a fish out of water despite the fact he’s actually being his most authentic self. Like you said, it’s new to him just to be … Alastor. To be honest and upfront. His normal operating mode has been so restricted for so long he’s struggling with how to be himself. And then that fear—- well what if I’m too much? What if I ruin this, when I finally have something worth keeping? He’s never gotten this far and the fear of losing that comfort is terrifying but so is the actual comfort itself. It’s new and foreign.

A deep uneasiness that’s if he fully embraces this he’s gonna just fuck it up and it’ll be his fault this time. Not a misunderstanding or misalignment of needs but a confirmation he wasn’t good enough anyway.

“it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all” he would say that’s bullshit

and because of the situations he’s been in before, he’s never gotten to actually explore physical intimacy in a “safe” environment. He was always going into interactions because he had to if he wanted to keep people around. It was a necessity, not something he actually sincerely wanted to participate. So he tried to keep them happy with other means of affection and intimacy to maintain some safe distance but eventually, always, things would fall apart. At a distance or up close.

that’s why that most recent part was called Learning. Alastor is trying new things to learn more about what he’s okay with or doesn’t care for even offering in the future. Autumn is learning (that night, tho she doesn’t understand it yet) that he’s still figuring out how to meet her halfway (even tho she’s not even asking for that) when he’s used to being forced to meet people where they are. And Detective Brady, of course, is learning he may have found motive for Tommy’s disappearance.

I’m really glad you’re enjoying his portrayal and that you’re resonating with parts of him! That makes my soul hum! 💖 your line of work mixed with your Aro/Ace-ness sounds like such an interesting conversation if we’re honest! That’s a small aspect I love about Autumn. She’s in this field that’s (wrongly) considered to be hyper sexual and full of air headed wanton whores, but she’s the first person to be like “oh! You aren't into this stuff. Let me adjust my expectations. I’ll ask for clear verbal consent, not initiate, and I’m totally okay with never fucking again if it’s for your love and company.”

I work in the SW industry in a sense (Personal Assistant) and one of my biggest pet peeves is all of the shit people project on SWers.

sorry for the essay I could talk about this for ETERNITY

omg and THANK YOU! 🥺💖💖💖💖

Referencing:

A Doe in Fall (Human Alastor x Burlesquer Fem Reader)

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦

[siremasterlawrence]

Paying My Dues

Hey guys last new story for a week or two I need to take a break after some strange three half weeks. Nearly had two incidents with cars, had family medical health issues and I need to focus on me. See you guys in two weeks.

The moon is full circle during super high tide all over the house as midnight appears it is shining on full display looking quiet bold and white dancing across the sky as I welcome my many guests on honor.Ten actors who are either clearly in of help from someone who is willing to go their even if they don’t appreciate them at all because well I am Master Lawrence and I am fucking super awesome no matter what you think. I am standing in front of my mansion as they all walking through the door as I slide them both to the side fully opening the door for him as I smirk and watch as Chris Evans is exiting the car happily. I spot him from a faras I smirk waving him forward in to the void of my home he soon notices the place is at odd totally empty and he panics as he can’t escape all that’s left is a letter written in ink for him to read.

Tom Hardy walks in to the home with a hot and heavy world of some sort of issues for me to play with as my appetite only grows the more I play and I lead him in to similar room as Chris. His issues grows intensely as he takes another step he is stuck in the center of the room as his life flashes by him and all he can do is fear what’s next no way he can fight it. No matter what he does, he says or thinks, and feels he stuck here with a strange letter on the table as he picks it up for a chance of a lifetime and he opens it to a shock. He grabs the knife cutting the top of it open as he yanks the letter from the envelope, inside on the piece of paper he isstun to see the words you will get freedom from all that plagues you if your give me your talent and career.

“Alan…Alan” a ethereal voice calls to him as he is recording a new video on his waked YouTube channel.

“Why are you so conflicted?”

“Who are you? Is that portal?”

“Never mind that, you have lost your way and you need help.”

“I can see when someone does not appreciate what they have.”

“I do and you are a crock shit “

“Why are you so scared then?”

“I am not scared of anyone “

“So come to the mirror”

“Fuck! Fine”

“Hey wait! Release me “

“Read this “

“What the…”

“I give you permission to take the life I have and all that comes with it “

“Hell no! I did not authorize that “

“Hahaha “

“What’s is funny?”

“You just did dummy “

“Where are am I?”

“Hey Liam!”

“How did you get here?”

“All good buddy “

“We agreed to me”

“Since when?”

“It’s not important “

“You think so?”

“I know so”

“Who are you?”

“I am you now, we agree to switch”

“Impossible “

“Look in the mirror”

“I am your life”

“No? Get out of my body”

“This fine specimen is my body “

“You will learn to love this new world like your allies “

“Bastard! I will…I will…what was I saying?“

Chris Pratt use to appeal to me as the super kind affable guy I could hang with until this bullshit with his kids and his wives because he is wolf in sheep’s clothing because he is a dick. It’s the perfect night to stay at home with his wife and kids unfortunately for him my future pet he is a total dip shit that is totally unaware that his family disappeared until 8 pm. He sighs getting up from his seat as he roams out of the living room in to the ever winding hall to his mansion but he soon is distracted with a bright light in his master bedroom as he races upstairs. What finally hits him he is alone a he stares in to a empty room from the hall and he creeps in like the little shit notices the mirror is glowing in a wake blue color he sneaks closer and a hand yanks him in.

Stephen Amell should learn to stay at home instead of wondering our of his front door in such a state early in the morning, nah just joking I woke him up with a phone call early in the morning. He screamed at me as if I care I mean really nobody is going to think twice that man loves to make scenes like when he went off in his wife in a drinking stupor on the airplane such a embarrassing man.

“Why do I feel like the house is stifling me tonight?”

“That strange call left me feeling hot”

“Seeing my wife irritated “

“She will kill me if she wakes up”

“Ah fuck it”

“Such a bitch “

“I need man time for myself “

“By my”

“Out in the…the…woods…who the fuck are you?”

“I am the guy …”

“On the phone ?”

“God! You are tense “

“You are major trouble”

“Shit! Should I be scared”

“Not! Zip it “

“I am charge now “

“I will be disappointed”

“So time for a lesson”

Tom and Colton are in a major independent project shooting in England somewhere in the background of the set the camera is all a go ready to roll and they talk unsuspecting the danger looming ahead.

“Where is everybody?”

“Anybody?”

“Say cheese “

“Fuck! I can’t see”

“Am I blind?”

“Your eyes will return momentarily “

“Bastard “

“Pussies! Do a me favor?”

“Never “

“How collaborative?”

“Not working “

“Kneel NOW!”

“You can’t…”

“Tell me”

“No way!”

“Kneel “

“Much better “

“Good bois “

Ben and Chris this is a party like no other

as they enter into a misty plane through the door into a whole new world, the doors been closed their lives are vanishing into avoid of dreams, self-destruction, self obsession and happiness into complete submission.

“Congratulations! You made one hell of a Faustian deal!”

“All of you in here will escape the lives you are dreading.”

“What do you get in return?”

“Your talent, your life and your everything “

“No takesy backseys”

The end

[faegoddessog]

Day 10: Favourite co-star

Ok loves, I've decided to try something to stretch myself creatively with this challenge. I'm gonna dribble my drabble and see if I can tie each theme into an actual story that I'll write day by day! We'll see how it goes! Wish me luck!

Here is my ongoing masterlist of this project.

My other works are here if you are interested!

Check out the fun challenge here by @slowsweetlove . Feel free to jump in too!

Day 10: Favorite Co-star

WARNINGS: Mature content, 18+ only, Enjoy my teasing!! straddling, nudity, sexual intercourse implied, stroking.

His thumb rubs gently along the inside of your wrist as you approach the door to his suite. You are quickly coming to recognize that petting is one way that he self-soothes.

He pauses, pulling out his key card, but  he turns to you instead of tapping the lock. 

“Before we go in there, I just want to make sure you are ok,” he gestures at you with the flat piece of plastic, “because this is where I need to stop if you don’t want to do this, if you don’t want me.” 

You are a little startled to see his hand shaking with nerves. The earnest look in his blue eyes rims the deep seated wanting. Even the most gorgeous man in the world can think that nobody wants him. You shake your head with a smile. 

His face falls, he swallows and nods. He tries to drop your hand, but you won’t let him. 

“You are just the perfect gentleman, Austin. It’s hot as fuck,” you say stepping close and pushing the hand holding the key card onto the lock. “Now take me inside that room,  cuz I’ve half a mind to do you right here.  I don’t want to leave until you are worn out and I’m too sore to walk.” 

His eyes widen as he realizes what you are saying. The lock beeps. 

He pushes the door, holding it open for you. 

“After you Ma’am,” he licks his lips. 

…

You untwist yourself from the white hotel bed sheets, wondering if your jelly legs could carry you to the bathroom. You smile at the fact that you aren’t sore, not yet, not after one round. But Oh, what a round!  When you come back, Austin has propped himself up on pillows, with a space next to him for you. 

“Wanna watch something while we catch our breath?” he asks, patting the space next to him.

You wonder if he wants to watch porn or something, not that it’d bother you. You nod and climb into bed next to him, snuggling up against his chest. All awkward pretense and nervousness had dissolved the moment you had walked through the door. The moment all his nervousness dissolved into a blur of passion and kisses and clothes disappearing like so much tissue paper on water. 

He drapes his arm around you and clicks the remote. It is a scene of two girls talking intensely, one in a towel. The TV is muted.  Just before he clicks the menu button, the scene shifts to a man with water running over his face. 

“Hey that’s Callum!”  Austin smiles. “We worked together recently” 

“Yeah, I’ve seen him before, what’s he like?”  You had binged watched movies and shows set in New York when you first moved back from Milan. He had been in one that you really enjoyed. 

“Oh,” Austin’s voice drops low as the picture switches to Callum fully naked in an open barn shower, his cock hanging out. 

“Oh,” you breathe out, “isn’t he pretty.”  

“Yeah well… he’s a….  a good guy,” you notice how Austin’s eyes don’t leave the screen. You silently wonder if they did more than just ‘work together’. 

“Is he now,” you stroke Austin’s thigh, noticing that his cock has definitely ‘caught its breath’.

“Mmm, hmm” his lip curls up and he pulls you close. You are pretty sure he didn’t exactly catch your innuendo. 

“Yeah, how good,” you swing your leg over him, straddling his thighs. His dick is sticking out between your legs, hard and inviting. 

“Not as good as you,” he gives you the sexiest smolder, eyes half lidded in want. 

Your hand slides between your thighs and onto his cock, “well that implies a certain kind of comparison, Mr. Butler.” 

His chest puffs in an inhale at your touch. “Maybe,” is his noncommittal answer. 

The idea of having both these men touching you at the same time leaps into your mind. It fires you up. 

“Well, in order to objectively compare and contrast, I think we need more than one set of data points,” you tease. 

“ Actually,” he says, pushing his hips forward into your hand, “I’m supposed to meet up with him tomorrow. He’s here in New York for something. You wanna… come along?” 

Oh snap… maybe he HAD caught your innuendo.

credit to @saradika for the graphic!

Always tag me: @purejasmine, @slowsweetlove, @richardslady121, @austinbutlerslovers, @tadpoleteef, @allittakesisoneflight

"I've been tagged by you before Lumiere!": @thisworldisntrealhoney,  @1nho,  @megangovier, @briaandthephantoms, @andro-inherdreamworld @callumsgirl @blombardo  @fefeisastar @hacunamy @nestito702 @denised916 @jayydep @r0m4nitcl0v3r @heyidc03, @secondchild-2, @flander42 @natural-born-rebel-spirit @lecosymood @kathrynzaragoza @bsunshinexo @jayydep @ifyouloveweedletsgosmoke

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

I want him back

Hii, this story is inspired by Olivia Rodrigo's "get him back!", I hope you enjoy it and comment if the reader should get revenge on him or forgive him.

Absolutely! Here’s a more polished and enticing version:

From a summer love to a withered romance in spring, filled with shouts and screams about everything. Max was a lot. He was exhilarating, showing you a new world every time he took you out, with riches and extravagance that would blow anyone’s mind. Yet, he was also egocentric and temperamental, acting as if he were superior.

From midnight dances on a private yacht to screaming matches in his house, from following him around the world for his races to him flying you out to buy your forgiveness or silence. How cruel it is that my heart loves him while my brain hates him. It's ridiculous how you can still love someone who has hurt you so much. But the real question is: is it love or want?

If I had to choose right now, I want him back. I want to make him regret every comment, every flirtation with my friends while telling me I was the only girl, every demeaning action, and every instance of gaslighting. Yet, at the same time, I want him back because I miss him. I miss his blue eyes that I get lost in, the restless nights we spent together with endless kisses and laughter, and I miss his love.

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to drink a whole bottle of wine by myself, I think, as I send Max a text: "I want you back." My friends are going to kill me, I think, as I start looking through our old photos together. Is it mean that I want his heart just to break it, but at the same time wanting to stitch it back together?

My phone buzzing distracts me from my thoughts. "Fuck," I mutter as Max's contact appears on my screen. "Missing me, liefde?"

Annoyance courses through my body as I toss my phone onto the bed. If I were smart, I would’ve left him on read and blocked him. However, it seems I’m ready to make the second bad choice of the night.

"Don't act as if you don't miss me. You were never a good actor or a good boyfriend, if we’re being honest," I reply.

"Wow, harsh. But if we're being honest, you wouldn’t be reaching out if I was that bad. And you're wrong about me missing you because I never stopped thinking about you," Max answers as fast as he drives.

"You always had a way with words when you needed to. Maybe I do miss you, but that doesn’t change how much you hurt me. Convince me you’ve changed, and maybe—just maybe—I’ll consider giving us another shot."

"Done," Max responds with a single word and an attachment. As I open it, I find plane tickets and paddock passes. I wonder, should I get back together with him or break his heart?

[ursemma]

Video games: chuck bass × f!reader

Warnings:

Being friends with benefits with Chuck Bass on a random summer break wasn't bad until you caught a disease called love. Willing to do anything to make him fall inlove with until you realise he's still in love with Blair.

Based on lana del rey's song video games

Swinging in the backyard

Pull up in your fast car

Whistling my name

Open up a beer

And you say, "Get over here

and play a video game"

I was swinging in my backyard, and I heard chuck calling my name "y/n" he came with a scotch glass in his hand, "wanna play our game?" i chuckled while walking towards him, our game meant a no string attached fuck.

Well atleast for him because it meant more than something to me.

I'm in his favourite sundress

Watchin' me get undressed

Take that body downtown

I wore his favourite purple sundress with a high slit, just how he likes it, "strip" he said and i started undressing under his intense gaze, hunger and lust flashed in his eyes as he kissed me, and the afternoon went just how we wanted.

I say, "You the bestest"

Lean in for a big kiss

Put his favourite perfume on

Go play your video game

"oh god you're the best" I said while trying to catch my breath. He leaned in for kiss and said, "I need to leave for work" I nodded at him and watched as he perfumed himself, "good luck" I wished him knowing how hard he was working, he gave me a smile and went for his work.

It's you, it's you, it's all for you

Everything I do

I tell you all the time

Heaven is a place on earth with you

Tell me all the things you wanna do

I sighed deeply as I knew he would never love me back, I did everything I could to make him feel something about me but everytime I try, nothing works out. The reason I agreed to this FWB thing because I love him.

I still remember the day i was hanging out at a bar where I met him. The only thing he said was "you look lonely, mind if I join you?" And that's how we ended up in his bed.

All he asked was for simple fuck with no feelings but having attachment issues really didn't helped a bit.

I heard that you like the bad girls

Honey, is that true?

The Upper East side was surely missing their it girl and the queen b, Heard the IT girl and the queen B are back in town from their trip to paris.

Well I hope S you've made your decision, surely you don't wanna walk down the campus single.

And as for B I heard our bad boy is single, but the question is his bad girl available though?

You know you love me,

Xoxo, Gossip Girl.

I sighed at the gossip girl blast, I mean she is true isn't she? He likes girls like Blair Waldorf.

Smart, independent, Queen B, pretty and beautiful, and me? I'm not even close to her.

Suddenly I got a text from chuck, telling me to be ready at 5, we've a party to attend, and my mood instantly lit up.

It's better than I ever even knew

They say that the world was built for two

Only worth living if somebody is loving you

And, baby, now you do

Is he trying? I don't know. I'm not getting my hopes high.

I got ready according to the theme, which was, saints and sinners masquerade ball. I don't know but I'm getting weird feelings of it.

Singin' in the old bars

Swingin' with the old stars

Livin' for the fame

We arrived at the ball and every one was busy dancing, and chit chatting.

I went to the drinks counter and drank whiskey, I heard flashing of cameras every where, you can see the paparazzis through the door.

My mind wondered to chuck. Where was he?

Kissin' in the blue dark

Playin' pool and wild darts

Video games

He holds me in his big arms

Drunk and I am seeing stars

This is all I think of

I heard everyone gasping, i went towards the crowd to see, chuck and Blair kissing and hugging eachother. His games.

I ran with tears running down my eyes and I ended up in a bar.

I finally calmed down, and decided to go home, but I bumped into someone and my purse fell down.

Him and I, we both bent down to pick it up at the same time and our hands brushed eachother, it felt weird.

I looked up and saw his beautiful ocean eyes and a smile that can light up the town.

"Hi I'm Nate Archibald" he said while grinning, and giving his hand for handshake, "I- I know, I mean hi I'm y/n l/n".

.

[shirotaangel]

࿔‧ ֶָ֢˚˖𐦍˖˚ֶָ֢ ‧࿔ Babies

- KOZUME KENMA × READER

- SYNOPSIS: you just want to have your Kozume's babies but you're too fucked up.

tw : attempted murder (?), sexual tension, mentions of sex, angry sex at the bottom.

╰┈➤ YOU WERE WITH HIM in the empty classroom when you thought of the question. The rest of your class went down to the canteen but Kenma insisted on the both of you staying here, mumbling something along the lines of people become savages at lunchtime in the canteen.

He said you wouldn't like the lunch being served today.

"And that is-?" You smiled, raising your fine brow.

"You don't like anything," he leaned backward by the elbows in the window, sunlight striping his forehead, "Don't matter what the canteens are selling."

You were writing on the blackboards, scribbles both of your names and faces of cartoons. You drew a pink cat since there's no red chalk. Kuroo would normally be here, slacking off, but midterms got him by the leash.

Now it's you and Kenma.

And your great question.

"Kozume," you turned to him. His body was halfway through the window, balancing, closing his eyes. His bleached hair fell behind, shifting in the light breeze.

Summer looked pretty on him, you thought.

He asked, "what."

You thought about it at first, if you should ask him since it's not really what he would hear from you everyday, or generally from someone with a decent mind. But you're curious of his answer.

"Would you fuck me, Kozume?" She asked, almost bored, "get me pregnant."

His head lolled to your side of the classroom, his slanted eyes opened, "what kind of question is that?"

"Nothing much," you shrugged, "would you?"

"Huh," he says, unbothered, proceeding to think. He never answers a question of yours without giving it good pondering, "do I fuck you just to get you pregnant?"

"Yes . . . Just for that sole benefit," you inspected your acrylic nails, "squirting inside to get the baby in me. What do you think?"

He frowned a bit, his head lowering down the window, "if you'd ask for it, then sure."

You were surprised. Hardly anything surprised you nowadays, especially if it's Kenma. Actually it's him who hated the surprises - saying he didn't like the way it it made him contemplate.

You remember arguing that some questions didn't need to be deep. He answered that you were a trickster - and he needed to dissect everything that comes from you to the very bone of it.

"You would?" she says, turning back to the board. You picked the blue chalk, starting to draw small penguins, whales, dolphins, "even now?"

He doesn't budge from his careless position, "if you ask."

"Let's say we did," you wondered, squinting as you added some scales to a chubby fish, "right here, right now. You fucked me hard. You cummed."

"Go on," he muttered, barely there.

"Suddenly, I'm carrying your baby, a boy maybe," you trailed off, thinking pink waves would look pretty, so you took the pink chalk and drew, "what do you think he'll look like?"

"You decide," he said, glancing at you momentarily, the blowing curtains brushing his shoulders softly, "you already know what I'll say."

"You'd have our baby boy look like Baldur, or maybe even Sean Bean," you turned to him, glaring a bit, "You're a horrible father."

"Why, I thought you'd want it to look like Sean," a small, amused grin tilts his thin lips, "we can cast him in some new medieval franchise somewhere in the future."

"I don't like those films," you sighed, disturbed, "I already rejected HBO - I didn't want to play Sansa."

He hummed.

You paused, imagining your baby boy, your little prince with Kenma. You're the more beautiful one between you two, but you'd actually like the kid to have his father's face - golden eyes, sharp features. You want all that is Kenma in your boy. You'd love him more than anything in the world.

"He can have your face," you put the chalk down, padding slowly towards Kenma. He's your best friend, your quiet baby boy. You stood between his legs, leaning down the window until your chests were pressed together, "our precious baby."

The third year classroom was in the third floor, reaching the top branches of the tallest tree on campus. Leaves were nearby so you plucked a few, tucking them in Kenma's blazer pockets.

"Why not yours?" he raised his head slightly, but not much, just to look at you face, brushing his finger on your jaw.

"Because I want our baby boy to look like you," you rubbed the tip of her nose lightly against his, smiling, "is that too much to ask?"

A small chuckle rumbled from his throat, his brows raised, "poor kid."

"What do you mean?" You asked softly, lacing your fingers through his and placing a small, quick kiss on his lips, "that's why I wanted you to make me pregnant, no one else."

"Yeah?" He slung an arm over his forehead.

The sky was a sweet blue above you, with barely any clouds. A little bird flew past, darting into the branches and leaves near.

"I want you to be mine forever," you breathed.

You two dangled a part of yourselves across the window, between what you could compare to life and death.

You could rise and nudge him back to the classroom, or in a little tilt you could send you both to Hell.

We deserve it so damn bad, you thought, playing with a stray streak of his hair.

"I want him to be fat, chubby, small, has your eyes," you took the hand of his you held, kissing those tan knuckles tenderly, "I want you to fuck me, Kenma, give me your babies."

He chuckled, his brows creasing together, "pump you full with my kids, huh?"

You laughed, kissing his lips once more. A small, precious kiss, "My Kozume."

He sighed, amused, "you'll be the death of me."

"And you're the death of me," you whispered, twirling of strand of his hair. It's almost dried from the bleach down deep to his roots.

You pressed yourself further against his chest, getting heavier and heavier, slowly tilting you two lower . . . lower.

Kenma grimaced, sternly saying your name. You don't listen.

"What the fuck are you doing," Kenma's narrow eyes were wide, breathless. He gripped your arm, pushing you back. He kept saying your name, each one more agitated than the last.

You kept silent.

You and him were slipping over the window sill - you deepened your body on his when you pressed your mouth on his jaw, pressuring his head downwards and downwards.

Kenma tried to grab on the rails but, he gasped against your lips when you threatened to push yourself lower down -

You curled your arms around his neck, abruptly pulled him back into the classroom. You landed on your back, Kenma on top.

Breathless as he is, Kenma pulled his head from you, his eyes wild. You knew he was cursing you, wanted to kill you in the most brutal ways. Maybe like stoning you to death naked in the middle of Shibuya. You'd like that death.

He did something much worse though. He gripped your wrists and fucked you. He fucked you hard, fucked you well.

The grudge in that? He didn't give you babies.

copyright belongs to @shirotaangel

[jethrowest]

the closer i get is the further i feel…

- synthetic love by motionless in white

i needed to write something for these two, no matter how small or convoluted. be the change you wish to see!

pairing : homelander/victoria neuman

word count : 679

warnings : light light smut (blink and it’s gone), dominant/submissive, mostly neuman’s conflicting thoughts. 18+, mdni

writing tag

———————

“You’re distracted.”

Victoria (or maybe she was Nadia this time? She couldn’t seem to keep it straight lately) was spread like a lounging feline across the couch, blouse unbuttoned and open, completely nude from the waist down. Homelander had gone straight to work as soon as she strolled through the door, heels heard by him well before her key hit the lock. Her light floral perfume filled his senses in an almost dizzying manner, innards buzzing like a bursting beehive. He was always early. Sometimes she’d keep him waiting on purpose.

His hot mouth between her legs was normally enough to keep her from teetering off the ledge she’d managed to construct. Something cruel and unrelenting had forced itself through her brain not long after she’d realized how malleable he could truly be. She was in the business of blackmail and using others as it were. This had started out that way, with a bit of “make sure he doesn’t go full-tilt insane.” However, she wasn’t sure what she was using him for or doing here at this point. She had an idea, but feeding into it only made it fester. In any case, he’d been more than cooperative, going above and beyond as far as her personal agenda was concerned; as far as keeping him in tow, which also happened to be underneath hers- pun intended.

So, how exactly did this arrangement manage to uncover wounds she either believed she’d buried, or never knew existed? She felt nauseated entertaining the notion that she and Vought’s star-spangled, homicidal lackey had more in common than she had with anyone else in her life.

“Yeah, I’m just…” she sighed, tapping a manicured nail to her forehead. “- thinking.”

His chuckle was felt against her ignited flesh, like concentrated heat from the inside of an oven. “Wasn’t it you who said we weren’t meant to think during our little sessions?”

She scoffed in response. “A woman’s mind never rests.”

Homelander licked his chops, her taste flowing from his tongue and permeating every part of him. He could tell she wasn’t as focused as she usually was. Her chemistry was off. Plus, she had been awfully quiet, both in shudders of pleasure and instruction. They would have been close to fucking by now. Instead, he’d remained attached to her slit like bumblebee to flower. And the flower wasn’t giving him much of that nectar he needed to survive.

“Sorry.” Victoria shook her head, straightening so she was sitting as opposed to partially draped over the armrest.

He paused a moment, then took it upon himself to plop down next to her, tucking his cape off to the side. She watched him do so, wondering if she should put her slacks back on and call it a night. But she didn’t… want him to go. That was also attributing to the frenzy upstairs.

“Wanna talk about it?” His unsheathed hand squeezed her exposed thigh, and she couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. In what world would feelings enter their equation? She should be staving off his orgasm, not hollowing herself out to a greater extent. Shit, she probably shouldn’t even be doing the former.

She looked at him again, really looked at him. He presented her with a pursed smile, and she couldn’t tell if that was an attempt at sincerity or not. Perhaps he was a little offended that she found some kind of sick amusement out of his grand gesture. Both were plausible.

Blanketing her palm atop his clothed leg, Victoria leaned in, pupils roaming his semi-forced features. “Why don’t we talk about you instead?” Her fingers traipsed across his uniform, softly stroking his inner thigh. He shivered, eyes snapping shut. They fluttered half-open eventually, his expression resembling carved marble: solemn with an incomprehensible depth. “We’ll start off easy, okay? Now, where in our brief exchange did you get the idea that you were allowed on this couch next to me?” He stiffened, inhaling through his nose.

His arousal was back, and stronger than ever. So was hers.

[one-piece-aus]

Unbottle Your Emotions

Eustass Kid x Reader (Part 3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 Ahoy, apologies for the delay to get part 3 out, I had written half of first but suddenly became under the weather and was unable to complete it until now. The wait is worth it, this chapter takes the first glimpse of Eustass' POV Enjoy! ^-^

You let out a sigh of relief. Finally in your room. You love your dad but after your internal stress at school today, you didn't want to stick around his current perky self in case his mood changed. You didn't know if you could contain yourself if you weren't able to dodge a bullet.

Rummaging through your closet, you pull out comfy loungewear and change into them. You glance at your phone, thinking of putting on metal music to drown out the world as you fall back onto your bed when a notification goes off. You open it up and it sends your messenger app.

[Leader Eustass Kid] Hey

'Was that what Kid named himself?' You wondered why he put that as his contact name in your phone.

[You] hey

[Leader Eustass Kid] You started writing ideas for the project before we left class, right?

You checked the time, seeing it was still relatively early evening. You didn't expect him to text about the project until late at night or the next day in class. At least he takes initiative, unlike some other classmates you've dealt with in the past.

[You] Yeah, uh- you want me to list 'em out or...?

[Leader Eustass Kid] Yeah send 'em over

Great, that means you had to look over your notes. You scanned around your room, relaxing when you saw your bag sitting by the door, relieved that you had already brought it upstairs with you. Reaching over, you grabbed the strap and flung it onto your lap. You unzipped one compartment and fished out your binder for English, tossing the backpack off your bed now done with it. Flipping through the pages, your fingers brush to the sheet where the rough ideas for what to do for the project. There were only three ideas... you sighed as your typed them over.

[You] Fan letter to the artist a review of the song analysis of the lyrics

[Leader Eustass Kid] Really? That's it?

You frowned your brows and growled, comfortable to do so behind the screen and in the safety of your room.

[You] I didn't have enough time to write more down before the fire alarm rang

'Asshole.' You thought to yourself before quickly typing again to keep up your useful and respectful persona.

[You] We can think of other ideas if you want.

There, now you're not obligated to do all the thinking. If he thought you were gonna do all the thinking yourself without him contributing then he had another-

[Leader Eustass Kid] What if we wrote what we thought of the song

You deadpanned. Technically that fell under review or analysis of the lyrics, you felt the need to correct him, yet you didn't wish to risk making him upset over something so meaningless even if it was over text.

[You] Sure Did you have a song in mind?

[Leader Eustass Kid] No

[You] You wanna do All Star?

You couldn't help but crack a smile. Yeah, you texted it on impulse, probably out of habit of joking with Hawkins.

[Leader Eustass Kid] Fuck no! I'm not doing some meme for a project like strawhat and his brothers

[You] Right

You were tempted to change his display name to "Mr. Serious" or "No Joke Eustass", you opted those thoughts out knowing it wouldn't end well if he saw it.

[Leader Eustass Kid] But you got the right idea of doing one of the classics

[You] I think it would be a good idea to lean toward rock over metal

[Leader Eustass Kid] Why?

[You] In case the teacher wants us to play the song in class

[Leader Eustass Kid] Tf does that have to do with anything?

[You] Well, not every0ne's ears are tuned to metal and they probably wouldn't be able to understand the lyrics

[Leader Eustass Kid] So? Fuck them This ain't about them, this is our project

[You] It'd be easier for Ms. Makino if she needed to listen to the song as she's grading the papers

The message stayed on read for a good five minutes, enough time for worry to crawl and whisper how you messed up into your mind. Anxious joined its friend, suggesting you should skip class tomorrow. You played with the idea until you heard the notification go off and checked it instantly.

[Leader Eustass Kid] Fine

You let out the breath you were unknowingly holding.

[Leader Eustass Kid] But I get to choose the song

[You] Fair enough

You didn't get a text for a while after that, and you figured he was busy looking for a song. Deciding to be productive, you went through your other subjects and progressed on their homework. When pondering the idea of taking a break, your phone notified you. You received a message, you thought maybe Kid found a song. Oh, how unprepared you were.

[Leader Eustass Kid] Is it true you don't have anyone else to hang with?

[You] Why do you care?

You sent that before you realized how aggressive that sounded.

[You] Sorry Sorry, I mean I didn't intend to sound rude, I was just cut off guard with your question

[Leader Eustass Kid] I don't give two shits if you're some brooding teen But that jackass can't be the only one who hangs out with you

[You] You mean Apoo?

[Leader Eustass Kid] Yes, that jackass

[You] Well, there's Hawkins

[Leader Eustass Kid] Oh great, you're friends with him too

[You] We just hang out and Apoo tags along It's better than sitting alone at lunch and being bullied

You could feel the heat in your cheeks while you typed your defence with frowned brows. What does he know? Jerk has a whole ass gang and beats others up, he wouldn't understand your situation. 

"Asshole." You throw your phone at your pillow and roll to face the other way. Your hand comes in contact with a plushie and you punch it off your bed. At least in your room, you're free to let out your anger without worry.

A ping from your phone alerts you he sent another message. You remain lying with a frown, you don't want to keep talking to him, but the thought of him getting angry at you for not responding and berating you for it tomorrow makes you pick up your device. You could at least say you have to go for the evening, at least you were.

[Leader Eustass Kid] You could sit with me and my gang at lunch

Your features soften, a little taken back by his offer. You bit the inside of your cheek, unsure what to make of this. Is he really inviting you to hang out with him, at lunch, with his gang? Your fingers hover over the keyboard.

[You] I'll think about it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[L/n] I'll think about it

Kid turned off his phone and rubbed the side of his face with his free hand.

He didn't know why he offered. It just felt right. That's what bugged him, why did he feel that way? Is it because you didn't piss him off like other people? No, texting you showed you could bug him if you wanted to...but you did it similar to how his gang did it. Maybe he felt like you were one of his kin, one that has yet to be welcomed home. Was that right though?

He glances at his phone again, feeling the emotions swim, emotions he couldn't pin down to identify. They were almost as puzzling as you were. One moment you were bland, the next you had a sparkle of personality before you seemingly snuffed it out. What was your deal?

...

The parallels between you and his gang, before they joined, wouldn't leave his mind.

He could only hope you'd agree to join them at lunch.

[notmorbid]

dead like me, season 1.

dialogue prompts from season one of bryan fuller's dead like me.

i excel at not giving a shit.

a sunny disposition goes a long way in any line of work.

if it's my lunch hour, why is it only 35 minutes?

i know what might cheer you up.

everyone always says the same shit at funerals.

why do you have to be such an asshole?

they're not invisible. you just can't see them.

leave the plastic. cash is king.

isn't stealing from dead people kind of tacky?

i'm sorry, i tuned you out. were you whining?

as childhood traumas go, nothing beats the realization that everything dies. including you.

unhappy people do unhappy things.

you need to leave now. you're making me tired.

souls go bad in all kinds of ways.

all you can ever hope to do is make it easier. that may not seem like a lot, but it is.

i think for me, death was just a wakeup call.

you know what your problem is? you wake up every morning wondering what the world's gonna do for you.

i'm going to say this as politely as possible: i will fuck you up.

i am really trying to respect you. i am. but it's really hard sometimes.

carving my own path seems like way too much work.

just so you know, i'm very prone to anxiety attacks.

most of the time i'm talking out of my ass. i don't know shit.

just smell some fucking roses already.

you know, you can talk to me about stuff. if you want to.

monotony is the mind killer.

what you do now matters. what you don't do matters.

what is an average heart, anyway?

the password's 'rimjob', if you want to get on.

i wish people were more complicated, but they're not.

i don't want my picture taken.

it's very tempting to think the little jewels from our lives will bring it all back. but they won't.

i was dreaming about frogs.

i'm pretty sure they put mind control drugs in the water cooler.

you can't come up with a more original way to act out?

intuitive thinkers are the worst.

people lie all the time. it's not a bad thing.

if a lie is big enough, there's an instinctive need to protect it. it's almost maternal.

i need somebody to give me lessons on how to communicate with you, because i'm at a loss.

i need to be unconscious.

have you ever kept a scrapbook?

the lengths i go to for free food.

you've got a worldly quality. a certain je nai se quoi.

falling's easy, you just fall. jumping requires strength of will.

my face gets sore if i smile too much.

do you have to be such an asshole?

there's a finite number of personalities in the world, and i have met them all.

no wonder your children don't come and visit you.

jesus christ, fella, cut the cord.

you always seem to go a different way than everyone else.

open door's an invitation. gotta jump while the door's open.

why do i keep losing all the things and people that i care about?

when you can't make sense of someone leaving, you try to make sense of what they left behind.

i just don't get our culture's obsession with moving on. what are we afraid of, remembering? being sad?

you want to steal something, don't you?

you want to be a bowling pin your whole life, or would you rather be the ball?

i'm sorry, i'm trying to flirt with you. it's not really my thing.

why are you stalking me?

i could burn you a really great cd, if you want.

your perversions are coming into disturbing focus.

not in that life, not in this one, not ever.

you get close enough to see the pain, and it's no longer funny.

i really liked kissing you.

we all create, in our heads, who we are. who we want others to be.

what fresh hell is this?

just because you're dead doesn't mean you have to give up.

i'm not good at the pet thing.

i don't exactly know where home is, these days.

if you don't know the difference between flipping and flopping, we're knee-deep in water without a paddle.

i'm concerned you don't know what you're asking for.

i think some people wander because that's who they are.

you are a very internal little creature.

is it wrong to decide someone's a great person because they're so much like you?

you want to get coffee? i think that's what you're supposed to say when somebody's having a fucked-up day.

you do know the story, right?

you didn't do anything wrong. i'm just screwed up.

i didn't know that was all the time we'd have.

a girl's got needs, you know. even a dead girl.

i'm sure there's going to be some karmic reward for you down the line.

how's the whole 'dead' thing working out for you?

everybody grieves in a different way.

i could've, should've. didn't.

when you're mourning yourself, closure is a little tricky.

the one death you never get over is your own.

you can go fuck a duck.

i think i'm going to miss you the most.

do you want to do some acid?

i feel that my current reality is altered enough.

traveling alone has a certain magic.

what, did you all get together to vote me off the island?

the world is a very big place, and you are not the center of it.

let's just pretend everything is back to normal.

if you stand too close to a painting, all you see are patches of color. stand too far back, and you're missing all the detail.

haunting is all about envy.

i've always wanted to knock over a liquor store.

people mostly just want to hear themselves talk.

i work better alone.

i love the books that people leave here.

if a tree falls in the forest, who gives a fuck?

you can't smoke in here.

you have no respect for authority, you know that?

this job is really getting in the way of the business of living.

you only have one shot at life. this isn't a dress rehearsal.

i'm sorry i wasn't sweeter.

i'm sorry i didn't show you as much affection as i felt for you. i did love you.

i keep forgetting how young you were.

i love cemeteries. the quiet. the stories on headstones.

[sorrowsofsilence]

Burning Out • VII

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

I was lost, but now I'm found Under the lights and in the sounds So let us sing and sing it loud That we're not perfect, but we're proud of who we are.

Noah Sebastian is lost. His crime-filled lifestyle is anything but perfect; but everything changes once he meets you.

Words: 4.4k

General Fanfic Warnings: 18+, explicit language, smut, alcohol, drugs, violence, mentions murder/suicide, panic attacks/anxiety, nightmares

Authors note: Chapter Seven - I wish I wasn't lost (EDITED 09-03-24)

new? start from chapter one here

THIS IS A FANFICTION USING REAL PEOPLE IN A FICTIONAL SITUATION! I AM NOT IMPLYING THESE PEOPLE WOULD DO THE THINGS IN THE STORY OR ACT THE WAY THEY DO IN THE STORY, IN REAL LIFE! IT IS SIMPLY FICTION, AND JUST FOR FUN! THINK OF THEM AS ACTORS LOL.

+

I moaned as she slid down one more time and I gripped her hair, holding her still. I filled her tongue as threads of my release coated the back of her throat. The sight below me left my legs shaking as I pulled away, tucking her hair behind her ears, and rubbing my fingers underneath her chin in endearment.

What have I done?

“Good girls swallow,” I whispered and she moaned.

“Open,” I said, watching in complete reverence as she stuck out her tongue, showing me that she obeyed, drinking in all of me.

I leaned down towards her, pulling her chin up to kiss me as I melted into her lips, sighing with commitment.

What have I done?

+++++

NOAH

I wonder how How can it be that two souls live beneath my chest? I wander on Through the snowfall And the firestorm

One week passed.

I had resorted to stealing from a few homes, but the objects I took were worth nothing compared to the cost of Y/N's drugs. After selling everything, I only made 4.5k, barely enough to maintain my daily goal of 645; and I was desperately trying to come up with another scheme to earn more cash. With my stolen money in hand, I went to one of D's associates, feeling a surge of anger at the smug grin on his face as he greedily snatched the envelope from my grasp.

‘Having fun Sebastian? Surprised you even made this much yourself.’It took everything in me to walk away without bashing his fucking face in.

As each day passed I was being eaten alive by guilt, and I could barely look at Y/N. She noticed the shift in my behaviour, persistently asking me what was wrong and if she had done something.

‘Nothing,’ I would say.

‘Just stressed,’ I would say.

Our final night together was the night I stole her medication. As she held me in her arms, drifting off into a peaceful slumber, I couldn't bring myself to close my eyes. Instead, I quietly cried while she slept, unaware of the lies that lay next to her.

The next morning, I lied and said I would sleep in the spare bedroom across the hall. The expression on her face was heart-wrenching.

‘Oh, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I know that the nightmares are hard to deal with.’ She had said, her eyes falling briefly before she attempted to hide her expression with a smile.

My heart yearned at her words, wanting to hold her against my chest, ready to block out all the evil in the world if it meant protecting her. It wasn’t the nightmares that pushed me away, it was myself.

‘I don’t want to invade your space more than I already am.’ I responded.

I watched her take her pills when she did, my chest clenching in shame with every sip of water that followed the lies.

I wish I wasn't afraid of The haunted valley

The boys watched the remorse control me as I began to shut off the world, secluding myself from Y/N, and them.

I wish I wasn't a failure That nobody needs

“Noah?”

In the depths of my mind, I'm lost and confined A question gnaws at my core; I can't deny

“Noah.” Am I a mere illusion, a ghost in the crowd? Or do I carry a soul screaming out loud?

“Noah!”

I pulled out my earbuds at the call of my name, and my eyes squinted open. Ruffilo stood over me as I lay on the mattress in the basement, drowning in lyrics. The music blared from the removed bud as Nicholas glared, folding his arms.

I wish the voices in my head stopped their shrill tongues Just for a second so I could breathe some fresh air For a moment so I could stop sinking into despair I am a traitor in the face of myself

“Did you want to work on the song?” He asked, “Or are you wallowing in self-pity?”

A slave to a maggot that eats away my soul I ask the mountains to consume me as a whole How long will I be captured in this maze in the hail?

The song.

Y/N had hooked us up with a gig at Sammy’s tomorrow night, and Jolly had the brilliant idea of finishing our first-ever set with an original song; despite us never even playing for an audience. I wasn’t sure if I was more nervous about playing some shitty music in front of an audience of strangers, or that one of the audience members would be Y/N.

I shrugged and closed my eyes, sinking into the softness of the pillow with the bud still in my ear. Nicholas shook his head at me. He leaned over, tugging on one earbud to make me listen to him.

"Come on, you can't mope forever," he said with a sigh.

"I can try," I retorted, pulling the bud back from him as I sat up.

"You've been ignoring her for days. Can't you see how much it's hurting her? You messed up, not her." Nicholas' words hit me like a slap in the face.

I turned away from his piercing gaze, but I couldn't help but notice Jolly and Folio pretending to work while eavesdropping on our conversation.

"She's been bringing your regular coffee every day after work because you haven't even been showing up," Nicholas continued, his tone sharp.

I felt guilty as I chewed on the inside of my cheek, unable to meet anyone's eyes. She has?

I rolled my head back “I know. None of it is fair to her.”

Nicholas perched on a chair by the wall, observing me with caution in his eyes. "You need to stop taking your guilt out on her," he said.

I let out a deep breath and got up from the bed, tossing my earbuds onto the sheets. "I can't even look at her without feeling like she sees through me," I admitted.

"Is that such a bad thing?" Nicholas asked.

I scoffed and threw my hands up in frustration. "Yes it is, because I took her pills and had to watch her swallow fake ones," I ranted as I paced around the room. "Pills that are supposed to help her, but are nothing but deceit!"

Nicholas kept his gaze on me, his brow furrowed. Folio's face also showed disappointment as he watched from the side.

"She takes those pills expecting relief, but I took that away from her!" I stopped walking for a moment, pressing my palms against my eyes and exhaling loudly in turmoil.

"You made a choice," Nicholas stood up and approached me, standing in front of me.

He looked into my eyes with a mix of anger and sadness. "I hate seeing you like this, Noah, but you messed up."

"I know I messed up, Nick," I replied, my chest rising and falling rapidly. Nicholas wrapped his arms around me, offering comfort.

"You need to tell her," he advised, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

I collapsed into his hug, holding onto my brother tightly. "I can't...not yet," I whispered.

“So you plan on ignoring her for weeks until everything with D is over?” Nicholas shook his head, “We’re living with her now. You can’t just avoid her and you shouldn’t after everything she’s done for us.”

I stepped back from him and nodded in agreement, “I know; that’s why I’ve been considering...”

“Considering what?” Nicholas raised an eyebrow.

“A pharmacy robbery.”

“By yourself?” He chuckled, watching me carefully. “Are you serious?”

I heard Jolly laughing in the corner and gave him a sharp look.

“Of course I'm serious,” I shrugged. “But I could make a ton of money from this Vincent guy by getting pure drugs.”

“The last time you pulled off a big solo heist was when we got into this mess in the first place. You don't take on big jobs alone.”

The lights flickered around the room as I sat on the motel bed, my chest heaving with excitement. A seventeen-year-old Ruffilo sat beside me with the tattoo machine ready to brand my knuckles as twelve-year-old Folio watched eagerly.

“Today’s the day,” Jolly cheered, a wide smile stretching across his face as he threw a beer in my direction, “Our young padawan becomes a man.”

The can fumbled between my fingers as I looked down at it proudly, jittering with thrill. Jolly’s never let me drink before.

I opened the can in acceptance, hesitant to take the first sip with shaky hands, before bringing it up to my mouth. The beer was pungent and bitter, my lips puckering with furrowed brows; yeah, it was disgusting.

I tried to hide my distaste with a weak smile, “Yum.”

Jolly laughed, throwing his head back in amusement.

“You might want to chug it,” He said, taking a sip of his own beverage, “the knuckles hurt like a bitch.”

My eyes danced between him and the can as Nicholas and Nick began chanting, “Noah, Noah, Noah!”

Jolly joined with a raised fist, smiling with admiration as I chugged the drink, throwing the can to the floor in excitement as I stomped on it, the scream of elation ripping through my lungs as we all laughed. Nicholas hollered as he grabbed my shoulders, shaking me and I grinned, living within this moment of adventure.

“You ready?” Nicholas said, raising a quizzical brow as I began to feel the buzz. I nodded eagerly, throwing my hands in front of the table placed next to the bed.

Nicholas slid plastic gloves over his own tatted fingers before he wiped my knuckles with an alcohol wipe.

“There’s no going back,” He smiled as I sucked in a breath, anticipating the familiar scratching of the needle as it embedded the letters into my skin.

“Happy fourteenth birthday, baby bro,” Jolly walked over to me, patting my back. He handed me a crumbled paper bag, and with my free hand, I reached inside excitedly, pulling out the fabric.

I bit my lip as I tried to hide my smile but couldn’t. I was finally one of them.

“Your first mask.” Jolly nodded in approval. I tried pulling it over my head but couldn’t with one hand, so Jolly reached over, pulling it down over my face.

He bent down in front of me, his hand on top of my head as he shook me with fondness and it took everything in me not to cry with happiness at his praise.

That evening Nicholas wrapped my knuckles with black tape, protecting the freshly wounded skin. He went over the plan with Jolly, pointing towards the map indicating where I was to go, and where I would meet them after.

“This garage is filled with fancy as fuck cars,” Jolly nodded, leaning over the table, “so you have options. Don’t settle for any car, but don’t linger too long.”

“Remember, Kia’s and Hyundai’s are easier to hotwire, so you’ll have better luck getting in and out,” Nicholas said and I nodded as I jumped up and down, amping myself up.

“The alarms will go off almost immediately once you break in. People in this hotel get that shit valet, so someone is bound to notice right away.”

“Don’t forget, one, Underneath the steering wheel column find the wiring harness connector, Two, Pull aside the battery, ignition, and starter wire bundle, Three, Strip about 1 inch of the battery wires and twist them together. Fourth, Connect the ignition on/off wire to the battery wire.” Jolly listed and I nodded with each of his commands, reciting them back, “And don’t forget to break the steering lock or you won’t be able to drive.”

“Wire bundle, trip and twist, ignition to the battery,” I repeated, “Steering lock.”

+

“Well, I have no choice,” I threw my arms up, laughing, “What, you want me to ask Y/N then?”

Ask Y/N…

“No but-” Jolly started, but I interrupted him. Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. She could be a diversion. A distraction in the plan.

“Y/N could be an extra body, and perhaps…” I trailed off, my mind wandering in thought. Yes, this was crazy; and the idea that followed even more so…but perhaps it could work.

“Okay,” Nicholas said as anger started bubbling from his tone as he watched me with disbelief, “And?”

“And,” I grabbed his shoulder as a smile wound up on my lips, “I can steal Y/N’s prescription while I’m there, and then replace her meds. So, she’ll never know.”

Nicholas rolled his head back in annoyance, almost laughing at my words, “Dude, you’re just going to dig yourself a hole here. You can’t be serious. Just tell her the truth about the fucking pills rather than getting her more involved.”

“I will eventually,” I sighed, “Just not now.”

“You do know how hard it is to steal from businesses alone versus a few houses here and there?” Jolly said as he scribbled in his notebook, “What is Y/N going to be able to do? Other than putting her and you in danger?”

“I have a plan,” I said, as I started pacing around the room.

“You’re considering her help? Are you fucking insane?” Jolly’s mouth hung open, “Du är en riktig klydderöv.” (You are an ass who likes to make things harder than they are)

“Listen,” I held my hands up in defence, but Nicholas threw his arms up.

“You can’t be serious; she could get hurt! You’re just using her?” he seethed.

“And you guys aren’t?” I laughed, pointing to the guitars and motioned around the room, “We are fucking freeloaders.”

“Aren't you worried about her getting injured?Caught? Better yet, Arrested?” Nick asked through clenched teeth. Why did he care so much?

“Of course I fucking am!” I growled, trying to not let any more guilt eat away at my insides, “I just want to have her as an extra body for that bit of fear factor. I don’t want her doing anything upfront or dangerous.”

“That’s still dangerous!” Nicholas exclaimed, “The fact she will be in that situation in the first place is not a good idea.”

I nodded in agreement, “I know. But what other choice do I have right now?” My eyes danced past each of the boys.

I knew this wasn’t the best idea, but my options were slim. I wanted to continue whatever was going on with Y/N- I didn’t want to feel this guilt, and if I was being honest with myself…

I was scared.

I was scared she wouldn’t see past my deceit, and I was scared she would hate me. That she wouldn’t forgive me.

I knew I had to make up for everything that had happened, but the first step was getting her proper medication back.

And to do that, I needed her help.

I wonder how How can it be that two souls live beneath my chest? I wander on Through the snowfall And the firestorm

“Let’s work on the song,” Folio changed the subject as the room heated, and I sighed heavily.

“Yeah, whatever,” I sat back on the mattress, pulling up the lyrics I wrote on my phone.

“Whatcha got Noah?” Jolly asked as he picked up the guitar.

“You've run out of luck, and I'm calling your bluff You stabbed me in the back, but not deep enough But not deep enough I see through you.” I hummed.

Jolly nodded as he tried to match the chords.

“Then the chorus, yada yada,” I said, eyes scanning my device as my thumb scrolled the screen.

“You said I'd never make it, you said I'd fall on my face But now I'm right where I belong, and I put you in your place You said I'd never make it, you said I'd make a mistake But now I'm right where I belong, and you've got nothing to say.”

Jolly eyed me briefly with a slight glare as I spoke, and I avoided his eyes.

“I like it,” Nicholas said, plucking the bass.

+++++

Y/N

With my fingers wrapped around the paper coffee cup, I sighed, fiddling with my keys to open the front door to my house.

Noah’s sudden distance made my chest clench in worry.

“look at me, show me those pretty eyes while I fuck your mouth,” he demanded and my lashes flicked up toward him, his body shuddering as I stared into him with complete greed.

The last time we spoke was that night.I chalked it up to him being busy paying back D, but I couldn’t help but feel slightly broken, and that it was my fault for his distance.

Doubt ate at my insides, beginning to regret inviting them into my home.

I wish I wasn't afraid of The haunted valley I wish I wasn't a failure

Maybe Noah saw how unwell I was, after the nightmare. Maybe this whole situation made him uncomfortable. I made him uncomfortable.

That nobody needs That nobody needs That nobody needs

I'm sure he heard me wake up screaming at night, and it hurt me to know that he wasn't the one who came running in to check on me. But that's okay, not that he had to. However, Nicholas was always there in a heartbeat. Living with the boys was easy, and I enjoyed spending game nights with Nick, Jolly, and Nicholas. Surprisingly, we got along well and I developed a close bond with Nicholas over the past few days. He must have noticed my internal struggle because he would often reassure me when I came home between shifts, rushing down to the basement with a cup of coffee to see Noah, only to be disappointed when he wasn't there.

“Hey,” Nicholas had waved, his gaze falling when he saw the coffee in my hands.

“Not home?” I asked, giving him a sad smile.

“No… I don’t know where he is either.”

I shared a curt nod before turning around to run back up the stairs.

“Y/N?” Nicholas called out before I took the first step up.

I stopped, sucking in a breath before sighing, “Did- did I do something wrong?” I asked, turning to look at him briefly.

Nicholas shook his head quickly, “No! No, of course not. You’ve done nothing but be kind to us.”

“Then why do I feel like I’m the problem? Did I scare him away?”

Nicholas’ shoulders dropped as he patted the seat on the couch next to him, pulling me into his side. I rested my head on his shoulder as he rubbed my arm warmly.

“Noah is a difficult creature,” He said, “But I haven’t seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you.”

I sniffed, “Then why is he ignoring me?”

Nicholas stiffened at the question, and I tried to shrug it off, but I knew that he knew.

“I- he’s going through it. This is a lot of money for him to get himself, without any help.”

I pulled away from his hug, “I just wish he would let me help.”

I closed the door behind me, smiling down at Juice as he greeted me. I heard someone puttering in the kitchen and assumed it was Nicholas.

“Hey, Ruffilo-” I shouted, slipping off my shoes and prancing into the kitchen. I immediately gasped in surprise when it was not Ruffilo, but Noah, who sat at the table munching on a grilled cheese. Our eyes locked as we silently exchanged words, and my breath hitched in my throat. Why did I feel so nervous?

My face flushed with embarrassment as I stood frozen in place, staring at him for a moment too long before bowing my head in anxiety. My heart raced, and I couldn't help but want to stare at his perfect smile or the way his long hair framed his face.

"Hey," he said gently, his eyes burning into me as I placed my bag on the counter and took a deep breath. I tried to distract myself by placing his coffee on the counter and grabbing a cup from the cupboard to fill with water.

"How are you?" he asked, still gazing at me intensely. I hesitated before turning around, my back pressed against the counter as I let my eyes meet his. I couldn't help wondering why he suddenly wanted to talk to me after days of distance. Part of me wanted to walk away.

"Um," I took a slow sip of water, the cool liquid offering little relief from the tension between us, "I'm good. And you?"

He watched as I took another sip, his eyes scanning over the glass and my fingers wrapped around it. He hesitated before speaking again, as if afraid of what he was about to say.

"I'm okay," he began, trailing off before looking away, fixating on the ground as he spoke softly, "I've missed you."

My heart raced as he revealed his feelings, and I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. Part of me wanted to brush off his words, while the other part wanted to wrap my arms around him and give in to his touch. Did he truly miss me, or was he just trying to ease his guilt for being absent for the past few days? Regardless, the way my breath caught in nervous anticipation showed how thrilled I was to see him.

"I got your coffee..." I murmured, not sure what else to say as I turned and handed him the cup. Our fingers grazed each other lightly as we exchanged the drink, sending tingles up my arm and butterflies fluttering in my stomach - reminiscent of the day we first met.

He gave me a small smile and thanked me shyly, but I could sense that something else was on his mind as he took a sip.

For a brief moment, silence hung between us as unspoken thoughts danced in the air.

“I’ve missed you too,” I confessed quietly as my cheeks warmed, and I began playing with my fingers nervously.

Noah’s ears flushed with colour as he genuinely smiled, “Let me take you out tonight.”

“I- I have work,” I stammered, excitement replaced with disappointment.

“Call in. Let me take you on a date.” He shook his head as he took another sip, refusing to let down.

“I can’t afford to call in,” I gave him a sad smile, “But I would love to go out with you this weekend when I’m free?”

“I’ll give you the money then,” He stood up now, grabbing the glass from my hands before pulling my palms into his grasp, “Just let me treat you.”

His October eyes begged as they bore into me, trying to read my mind. I looked away, trying not to succumb to his silent plea but instead, I smiled, looking at our connected hands. Why was he suddenly being this way?

“Stop looking at me like that,” I laughed.

“Like what?” He teased, before sticking out his bottom lip, packing on the puppy dog eyes.  

“Like that!” I giggled, and Noah tugged on my arms, pulling them so they were wrapped around his body as he buried me in his chest.

I sunk into his arms in alleviation as we swayed in the kitchen to the beat of our hearts.

Part of me wanted to pull away, tempted to see if he would bring me back. The other part of me wanted to berate him for his attitude. Part of me wanted him to take me against the kitchen table. There were so many questions I wanted to ask him, but I didn’t want to ruin this moment together.

“I’m sorry I’ve been distant,” Noah whispered now, his voice vibrating from his chest as my cheek was pressed against his soft cotton t-shirt. I nodded against him in response, squeezing his torso as I closed my eyes, my mind beginning to overthink everything that’s happened between us.

I finally sucked in a breath, hesitant to ask, “Did I do something wrong?”

Noah immediately pulled me from his chest to look me in the eyes with a sullen expression, his hands cupping either side of my face, “You haven’t done anything wrong. You’re perfect.”

My eyes began to glaze over as my mind eased a little, and I chuckled softly, “Definitely not perfect.”

“Definitely are,” He whispered, hesitating once more before his broken eyes began analyzing my own. He made me feel like I had no reason to think he was lying. He made me feel perfect.

Noah watched me carefully before his eyes closed briefly. He sucked in a breath, hesitating, “I- I think there’s something wrong with me. I’m so lost right now.”

“I hope you know you can talk to me,” I matched his tone, my head tilting in empathy as we stood in the kitchen, holding each other. My fingers gripped onto the fabric of his shirt as I pulled him into another hug, embracing all his insecurities.

“I know,” He sighed, before masking his sorrows with a smile.

“Please come out with me,” He pulled away and pleaded again, the pad of his thumb beginning to graze across my cheekbone before tracing the outline of my lips, “I want to spend time with you. I want to hear your story.”

I smiled at his words, my breath catching in my throat as we watched each other, completely mesmerized as my eyes travelled across the outline of his ochre eyes. The slight stubble outlined his perfect lips that wrapped around the whites of his teeth as he smiled charmingly, and it left my palms sweating.

“You know plenty about me now,” He said gently, concentrated eyes devouring me, “So who are you?”

Subconsciously I began leaning in closer to his touch, our lips inches apart, “Why are you so convincing?” I whispered, the warmth of Noah’s breath cascading along my face.

“Ahem.”

I turned immediately at the cough, and Noah pulled away from me, staring back at the ground. I looked between him and Ruffilo, who stood leaning against the wall, watching Noah with analytical eyes.

“Hi, ruffles!” I then smiled warmly, confused at his interruption but happy to see him. He acknowledged me briefly, nodding in my direction before glaring daggers towards the brunette.

“A date?” Nicholas's eyebrows furrowed as he crossed his arms and spoke with a tone of accusation.

Noah gave him a sharp look and I glanced between the two of them, trying to make sense of their tense exchange.

Noah turned away from us, shaking his head. “It's none of your business.”

“It is my business now.” Nicholas stood up, positioning himself next to me in a protective manner.

I furrowed my brow and took a step back from Ruffilo. “Can someone please explain what's going on?”

A cynical smirk appeared on Ruffilo's face as he let out a quick laugh, scoffing at the brunette in front of him. “You didn't ask her where you really wanted to take her out, did you?”

Noah ran a hand over his face. “I was getting there.”

I looked between them again before turning my head towards Noah. “Where were you planning to take me?”

Noah licked his lips thoughtfully before turning to me. “I need your help.”

Chapter 8

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