#i think this is the longest one I've posted hehe

[silverselfshippingchaos]

Pairing: Ash (self-insert)/Seifer Almasy (Happy Late Birthday, Seifer!)

Word Count: ~1.8k words

Warnings: A bit of swearing, brief descriptions of past self-harm, vague FF8 spoilers. More of a character study than anything. Ash and Seifer were both child soldiers and are learning how to live again. Just some good ol' hurt/comfort

Synopsis: It had been a few years since it had all ended and peace was returned to the world. Ash, an elite mercenary once known as the Garden's Perfect Ten was now living alongside her rival-turned-lover, Seifer. But despite their new, peaceful life, scars from the past remain. For the first time in his life, Seifer doesn't have to face his trauma alone. He is loved.

Seifer never fully recovered from Edea's mind control. He is in control of himself and his actions, but what of his mind? Sometimes his head aches, thoughts that aren't his feel so real again. He's 18 again, grabbing at his head and wanting nothing more for it to just stop. Chills run down his body, and he can't do anything but sit there and take it. The whispers aren't as bad as they were when he was a teenager, but they're not gone. Maybe they never will be.

Seifer is more than aware that he has done awful things in the past. He was once a teenager in charge of an army, he awakened an evil god from her slumber, and he tortured a man he now calls a friend. Seifer is different now, that much is a fact, but he considers it his responsibility now to live with the weight.

Would things have been different had he done something else? What if he made SeeD? He'd sooner die than admit it to Squall, but Seifer knows that going through would Squall did would break him.

Seifer has spent a lot of nights on his own after it all happened, staying awake and staring at the ceiling, sometimes even crying. Always thinking too fucking hard. Life had never been easy for him, and the one time he felt like he had a purpose... He fucked it up. He tells himself he was true to his ideals until the very end, but in reality? He was nothing but a scared little kid.

Seifer sits up in bed, his body covered in a cold sweat. He buries his face in trembling hands, trying to get himself to calm down, trying to get the throbbing in his skull to just stop already. He had gotten accustomed to waiting these moments out, drinking some water, and rolling over and going to bed once more.

But the days where he spent his nights alone were long since past. Warm arms wrap around him, and it feels like a safe haven. Ash holds him and pulls him into her chest.

"Seifer..? Heard your breath shake."

Her voice is soft. Gentle, but comforting.

"I'm sorry."

It's a quiet whisper, something so unlike him. Seifer always took it upon himself to be bold and brash, always leaving an impression (whether it was positive or negative was something he simply did not care for). Ever since he was a child brought to the Garden for the first time, he had one lesson drilled into his head. Personal feelings didn't fucking matter so long as you yielded results. He took that to heart.

But with Ash, for the first time in his life, he doesn't mind talking about how he feels. He knows that she'll listen and he doesn't feel afraid. Being vulnerable wasn't scary, the one thing in his life he could never do. Seifer never felt weak whenever he talked to her about his feelings.

Still, the last thing he wanted was to disturb her sleep. They bickered and they fought, even tried to kill each other as teenagers, but he loved this woman more than anything the world had to offer. If she wanted her to kill, he'd do it. If she wanted to see it all burn, he'd bring the matches.

This woman was his life. When they were children, she'd giggle and read him picture books, little fingers following the words as she tried her best to sound them out. Now that they're adults, she still smiles at him the same way.

"No, no, baby... Don't apologize. Tell me what's wrong."

Ash's soft voice is like a beacon of light in the night that was the aching headache. Nights like these were especially awful, and his head felt almost exactly like it did the day it all went fucking wrong.

Seifer wraps his arms around Ash's waist and holds onto her tight, maybe even too tight. Ash doesn't complain. Seifer lets out a soft whimper, and he knows that he must seem fucking pathetic, some sorry excuse for a guard dog. Seifer knew he could be himself around her and that she would never judge, but he was still her knight. Her protector...

Not that she needed protecting, of course. He learned that lesson all too well when they were still enemies and she didn't hesitate a moment before pulling the trigger, shooting him in the shoulder. Still, he'd rather be the one taking blows than her. It's a lot fucking harder to kill him, after all.

"Is it another headache?"

"Yeah."

And Seifer's voice breaks, like some pathetic, scared little kid. Maybe that's what he was, what he never really stopped being. A mask of fake pride and false bravado could only last for so long. He could only build the walls around his heart so high before they all came crashing down.

"Oh, Seifer..."

One of Ash's hands finds its way to Seifer's hair, freshly washed and soft as ever without its usual gel, and starts to play with it. Light scratches across his scalp, running her fingers through his blond hair in an attempt to soothe him.

Taking care of each others' hair had always been important to the two of them. Seifer had put so much time in effort in learning how to properly take care of Ash's curls, and the feeling of his hands as he braided her hair always brought her comfort. She thinks to herself that perhaps she can make him feel the same.

"It's okay, Seifer. I'm right here... It's all over now."

Ash kisses the top of his head, and stays there for a moment. His hair smelled like her favorite shampoo. Ash knows that she's changed him, impacted him, and she can tell by the way he smiles when they're on dates that maybe this is what he had always needed. Even when they were students and they "hated" each other, Ash never thought he was a bad man. Misunderstood and misguided, sure, but never bad. Never evil.

It was far from Ash's first time comforting him through one of these moments. Sometimes it was so easy to get caught up in the past... So Ash always reminds him that the past is gone. Now it's just them together their bedroom and Seifer is absolutely safe. Matron had long since apologized to Seifer for everything. After all, she was being controlled too, but the impacts of everything couldn't be reversed. Seifer would heal, yes, but never would he be the same. That didn't mean he had to face the past alone though.

The longer Ash plays with his hair, kisses the top of head, whispers sweet little nothings about how it'll be alright, how nothing can hurt him anymore... The headache begins to fade. His body still feels generally uneasy, trying to fight something that isn't even there anymore, but he's getting better. His breath evens, and he just holds Ash closer, snuggling his face into her neck. He smells the remnants of her cologne, barely clinging to her skin after a long day's work. What a lovely smell.

"Ash..?"

"Yeah? You feel better?"

"Mhm. Thanks."

"Good."

He can hear Ash's smile, and he likes it. He wants to protect that smile, make sure she never gets hurt again. Seifer had felt powerless against so much, and the only real constant in his life has been this urge to protect and serve. Being a knight was his duty and his calling. But protect what? Serve what? And now, he has found it. This is why he lives.

"I love you, Ash."

"I love you too, honey. More than anything."

Seifer's head is still buried in Ash's chest, so his words are a little muffled.

"Love you so much it hurts. Y-you're really too good for a guy like me sometimes, y'know that?"

"Hmm," Ash giggles, "I don't think so. You're the only person in the world I'd ever want, Seifer."

"With you I feel... safe."

It's hard for Seifer to be vulnerable, Ash knows that. But she's proud nonetheless. Ash kisses the top of his head once more,

"Heh, guess in a way... I'm your knight then."

"My knight... Think I can get used to that."

Ash chuckles, and before she knows it, her Seifer is fast asleep, bare arms still wrapped around her. Even in the dim light of their nightlight and the moonlight fluttering in through the window, Seifer was so beautiful to Ash, sharp and strong features so relaxed, blond hair like gold falling into his face.

The scar across his face had begun to fade, but it was still there. Ash was glad it was healing, but she couldn't deny a certain affection for that scar, finding it both equal parts attractive and adorable.

Seifer told her that if she feels that way, she can go fucking ask Squall to give him another since he had no intentions of getting his face cut open again. The memory almost makes Ash burst out laughing. Her life had become so happy these past few years. It wasn't without its hardships, sure, but nothing worthwhile ever was.

"I love you, Seifer. With all I am."

For too long, Ash had been a weapon, a tool, a SeeD. No one really wanted to say it, but the words were all synonymous. Whenever Ash is with Seifer, she can experience the same joy she had back at the orphanage... The honor to just be herself.

She wasn't the Garden's Ten, she wasn't the wielder of Eight and Two. Sometimes she remembers her earliest days of gun training. There she was, a scared child sobbing in a pool of her own blood because she shot herself and it hurt. She was scolded and reprimanded when she woke up in the infirmary, but she didn't understand why. If she was to inflict this pain onto others, she wanted to feel it for herself. From that day onward, she devoted herself to her guns.

For too long, Ash was the gunslinger that was forced to grow up too quick, barely an adult rushing onto a battlefield (quite literally) guns blazing. Pulling a trigger was as natural as breathing to her... No. Not anymore.

With a smile on her face, Ash drifts off into dreamland too. Ash is excited to see what tomorrow holds. Not just for her, but for the man she has grown to love with every fiber of her being, Ash rests easy, knowing that she will get to wake up to the sight of his smile. What a lovely life she led.

[a11eya]

TITLE: lights will guide you home

CHAPTER: 4

PAIRING: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

SUMMARY: Soul-lights aren’t as common in this day and age as they were in the past, before quirks, but they’re common enough that people do still find their soulmates.

At thirteen, you meet Bakugou Katsuki, and he lights up for you in orange and gold. You tell him he's your soulmate. He sneers and tells you that you aren't his. He makes your adolescence miserable until you part ways.

You meet again as adults, late at night, in a grocery store, over a pile of bok choy. He apologizes for how he treated you when you were children.

(In which you have a choice—to reject Bakugou's apology, reject him, or to let him show you the man he's become, to learn with him what it means to love and forgive.)

TAGS: soulmate au, trope inversion/subversion, slow burn, getting together, falling in love, fluff, aged up characters, pro-hero characters, eventual smut, mild bullying

NAVIGATION: Series Masterlist

The nerd comment aside, Bakugou’s last words to you as he left the coffee shop fill you with a vague sense of worry. What did he mean, it isn’t over? It sounds like the kind of line a movie villain would say to the superhero protagonist before retreating to plot some hardcore revenge. Isn’t he supposed to be a hero?

But two weeks pass, and nothing happens. You’re beginning to think he forgot all about you. You relax. 

Waving goodbye to the front desk receptionists and wishing them a good weekend, you cheerfully make your way onto the streets of Musutafu. They’re bustling as office workers like you go home for the day. You think of kittens waiting for you at home, filled with fluffy anticipation.

You have to make a pit stop before heading home, though. They’re running low on food, and there’s something in particular you want to buy for them, so you make your way to a pet store your coworker had recommended. He’d said that the store carries food and specialty items the typical stores don’t. You’re eager to check things out. 

Your head is so full of images of cute little whiskers and pink toe beans that you don’t hear when someone calls your name. 

It’s only until the voice is right in your ear, an annoyed growl, that you snap to awareness of your surroundings. Your body is a step ahead of you, though, because you’re taut with tension; your body knows that voice.  

You turn slowly.

It’s Bakugou, in full hero gear, looking intimidating and broad-shouldered. His bracers are clipped at his waist instead of on his arms. Despite this, somehow, he looks even bigger when he’s wearing his suit. He has a frown leveled at you. 

“You ignoring me or something?” he demands, eyes smoldering. The crimson of them is even more vivid against the black of his mask. “Called you three times.”

A man hurries by, nearly bumping you off the sidewalk. You make a surprised sound, barely sidestepping. Bakugou crowds you, using his body to corral you closer to the buildings on the left. You find yourself with your back to the wall of some building, Bakugou in front of you. This way, he’s in-between you and the stream of people coming and going. It’s a testament to how off balance you are that you let him herd you around. 

“Sorry,” you tell him, trying to get over the sudden shock of seeing him. “I was just lost in thought.”

People give the both of you—him a wide berth, glancing at the pair of you. Some look wary; you think it’s smart of them, considering Bakugou’s reputation for unfriendliness, even towards his fans. Others look curious, even excited. Despite his grumpy attitude, Bakugou’s popular, you concede wryly. But everyone keeps their distance, pretends to mind their business. It occurs to you that they might think Bakugou’s stopped you for a crime. He certainly looks severe enough to make that assumption. 

He clenches his jaw. “Pay more attention when you’re walking around, du— Pay more attention.”

You narrow your eyes at him. It sounded like he’d been about to call you something mean. 

“Aren’t you on patrol?” you ask. “Should you even be talking to me?”

“I’m off,” Bakugou says, crossing his arms. “Next shift’s just relieved me.”

“Oh.” 

Now that you’re paying attention, you see that his spiked hair is drooping a little, and the black around his eyes, underneath the mask, is smudged and faded. You wonder if it’s been a long day for him. 

Movement behind his shoulder catches your eye. You spot a very large man with red hair hovering several feet away, very obviously stealing glances at the two of you. 

He looks vaguely familiar. He’s clearly a hero, with a black headpiece framing the lower half of his face and black and red sleeves and pants. His gear leaves his torso bare, which doesn’t seem like a very practical choice. 

“Uh… Do you know that guy?” you ask Bakugou, pointing at the man. “He looks like he wants to talk to you.”

Bakugou turns, looking around. His eyes snag on the man. He growls. 

The red-haired man takes Bakugou’s eye contact as a sign to come over, and Bakugou moves to intercept him. But the man is too fast, arriving with a startling speed to where the both of you are standing, looking bright and eager.

Bakugou shifts in front of you, blocking the man’s view of you. You find yourself with a view of just his back. He starts, his voice a warning rumble, “Ei—” 

“Hi!” the man exclaims, paying Bakugou no mind, leaning around him to look at you. The skin around his eyes creases with how widely he’s smiling. “I’m Kirishima Eijirou. The hero name’s Red Riot! I’m Bakugou’s best friend. It’s so nice to meet you!”

“Oh, hi! Nice to meet you too,” you say, a little overwhelmed. You give him your name, smiling tentatively. In front of you, Bakugou’s crossed his arms over his chest, biceps bulging. You can just imagine his scowl. Kirishima’s completely unaffected. 

Feeling a little ridiculous talking around Bakugou like this, you take a step to the side and forward so you can see Kirishima properly. 

“Are you taking over Bakugou’s patrol?” you ask. 

“Yeah! Just came from our agency. It’s a couple blocks down that way.” Kirishima jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “You should come visit us sometime! We just opened a few months ago, so it’s a little rough around the edges in places, but I’m sure Bakugou would be happy to see you.”

“Oh, um—” You glance at Bakugou just as he erupts into motion. 

“Get outta here, you got work to do.” He shoves his—best friend? in the other direction and dogs his steps, as if to make sure he goes and stays gone. Kirishima laughs good-naturedly and waves goodbye at you. 

You wave back, amused and thoughtful. Bakugou hadn’t denied Kirishima’s statement that he’s Bakugou’s best friend. It strikes you as a little funny, the contrast between them. They seem like total opposites. Kirishima seems… nice. Friendly. 

Even more baffling, you get the feeling Kirishima has the mistaken idea that you and Bakugou are friends. You wonder what Bakugou’s said about you to give him that impression. 

“Where’re you going?” Bakugou asks when he returns to your side, looking grumpy and ruffled around the edges. Without waiting for you to reply, he starts walking in the direction you’d originally been headed. After a half-step, you shake your head and follow him. 

“I’m going to this pet store nearby. Isn’t your agency the other way?”

“I’m headed this way,” he says, in a tone that invites no further questions. “You got pets?”

“...Kind of,” you tell him. “I’m fostering some kittens right now. It’s my first time trying it out, but I like it. I need to pick up some food for them. Maybe a couple of toys too.” 

Bakugou grunts, scanning the crowd out of what looks like habit. You wonder if he’s even listening to you. 

You squint at him, studying his side profile. “Why’re you really talking to me, Bakugou? I don’t think it’s because you find our conversations particularly riveting.” 

His eyes slide over to meet yours. 

“Told you we weren’t done, didn’t I?” he says. 

It takes you a second to connect the dots and recall what he was referring to. What he’d said to you last time. You give him a look.

“No,” you say. “You told me, ‘This isn’t over’ in a super ominous way and then called me a nerd. And I’ve been meaning to say that if anything, you’re the nerd. You acted like you didn’t try hard at anything in junior high but you were always at the top of your class. I bet you hit the books for hours. Bet you were like that in high school too.”

Bakugou stops in his tracks. He studies you for a long moment, and the crimson of his eyes pins you, leaves you feeling a little like a rabbit that’d just spotted a wolf. You get the ridiculous urge to hold your breath.

“You grew up mouthy,” Bakugou says, a strange inflection to his voice. You don’t know what to make of it. 

“...Thank you,” you tell him primly, having no idea what else to say, and then ahead to duck into the pet store you’d just arrived at. You’re not running away; you’re just making a strategic retreat. 

The store’s small and very crowded. You sigh. Grabbing a shopping basket, you head towards the food section. As you squeeze past a woman coming out from the aisle, you wish you’d come during a less busy time. 

You scan the shelves for the brand of food you’d been feeding the kittens. Bending down to slide a multi-pack of canned food off the shelf, you straighten and almost drop the thing when you realize Bakugou’s appeared right next to you. 

“Jeez, you’re quiet,” you say, heart racing. For someone as big as he is, he shouldn’t be that quiet. He’s wearing boots. 

“You just needa get out of your little head and pay more attention to shit around you,” Bakugou says. He plucks the box out of your hands. When you move to try to take it back, he holds it out of your reach. 

You look into his face; it’s pure stubbornness. You let him have it without a fight. If he wants to carry the thing, fine. 

“I really don’t think that’s the problem here,” you tell him as you make your way out of the aisle. 

He bares his teeth at you in a smile that’s not very nice. “And you’d be wrong.”

You roll your eyes.

You pass by the toy section, grabbing a pack of springs and new attachments for the teaser wand you have at home. Bakugou follows you, and you’re conscious of the glances you’re garnering from other patrons. Bakugou does look a little out of place in this store, wearing his hero suit. You try to speed up. 

You get to the section dedicated to household items and supplies and stop. Here, you take your time looking at each of the shelves.

“What’re you lookin’ for?” Bakugou asks, shifting his grip on the cat food. 

“I’m looking for something that’ll stop the kittens from destroying my couch.” You frown, giving up. It doesn’t look like they have anything that’d work. You head over to the register where you’re thankfully immediately seen. 

Greeting the cashier, you place your items on the counter. Bakugou steps up next to you to place the cat food there too, his arm brushing against yours. 

“I’ve tried scratching posts, distracting them, bribing them… But they love my couch. I’ve had to move furniture to surround the couch and block their access,” you explain as you pay. “But I hate that. Almost fell trying to get water the other night because I forgot I’d moved stuff around.”

“Your fault. Shoulda known the fleabags would tear your shit up,” Bakugou says, looking down at you. You gasp, indignant. 

“They don’t have fleas.”

“Furballs, then.”

“Do you have something against cats?” you demand.

He shrugs. “They’re whatever. Don’t have time for pets. Work too much.”

You roll your eyes. Gathering your bagged items and thanking the cashier, you make your way out of the store, Bakugou on your heels. You can’t imagine him with a pet anyway. Pets make people approachable, somehow. You think it’s because pets are proof that you care about something in the soft way people do with pets. Soft is not a word you associate with Bakugou. 

Once you’re outside, back on Musutafu’s streets, you find yourself unsure of what to do. You transfer your bagged purchases from one hand to another, then clear your throat. You look up at him and find he’s already looking at you.

“Thanks for keeping me company, I guess.” It’d been a little weird, the way he’d inserted himself in your plans, but… you hadn’t hated it. You’re surprised, contemplative, as you acknowledge the thought. “I’m headed home, so…” 

“See you around, brat.” Bakugou turns on his heel and walks away. 

You stare at his back until he disappears around the corner. Shaking your head, you head home. 

So it seems like Bakugou never grew out of name-calling. Nerd, brat… But somehow, it doesn’t feel malicious. Not like it did when you were kids. You’re not sure where the names come from, but you’re surprised to find that it doesn’t really bother you.

What bothers you is why he’s doing this. Going out of his way to prolong contact with you. You can’t imagine it’s because he wants to be friends.

A small, ugly, bitter part of you wonders if he’s doing pre-emptive damage control, trying to get to a point with you where he doesn’t have to worry about you coming forward to air out your past and taint his career as a pro-hero and agency owner. You wouldn’t put it past him. It’s practical. 

But who knows what Bakugou’s thinking? He clearly would be the last to tell you. So you put it out of your mind, trying not to worry about things you don’t have control over, and sigh as one of the kittens uses your couch as a scratching post.

[kquil]

hi pretty baby!! I have a very important question for you:

the year is coming to a close and it has brought us many great things (like your sweet sweet stories) and I'm simply dying to know.... if you were to do a 12 fics for 12 months sort of wrap up of your own blog, what would be your 12 most memorable fics of the year? which of your pieces really stood out to you? I'm eager to hear what my friends' proudest works are!

xx

i'm a pretty baby? my stories are sweet? ( /)///(\✿) AHHHHHHHH!

and that's such a fun thing to do as a way of rounding off the year omg! this requires some thought though, so i hope you don't mind if i take a while to answer

these fics aren't in any particular order but would say that the following are my 12 most memorable fics this year... (i will also include fics from my side blogs as those are my works too hehe~)

DIVORCING ORION BLACK CHAPTER 5

this was the fic that i first posted when i came back from my hiatus so it holds a special place in my heart~

DIVORCING ORION BLACK CHAPTER 6

DIVORCING ORION BLACK CHAPTER 7

i'm including all updates for the DOB series because i honestly think it's my magnum opus and i managed to stay consistent with updates until the end of the year ever since coming back from my hiatus

JAMES POTTER | HOW TO DRESS (nsfw)

this is from my nsfw side blog ; it took me an entire year to write this oneshot for james and it's 16k words long, which makes it the longest fic i have ever written AND it's the first ever NSFW oneshot I've ever written and posted haha! so it represents a big milestone for me

SIRIUS BLACK | BIKER BOY

this was dedicated to one of my dearest moots and close friends here @somewereinthegalaxi / @thebestofoneshots and was a fun little way of showcasing an interest we both share motorbikes, biker boy boyfriends and sirius black (づ> v <)づ♡ 

REGULUS BACK | HOLD HER PART 2

i've always loved the trope of characters being given insight into their futures somewhat, in fact, a niche of fanfiction i adore reading is based on that e.g marauders watching/reading the harry potter movies/books or harry traveling back in time and interacting with the marauders -- this is my little way of finally dabbling in the trope without writing another fix-it fic atop DOB (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

REMUS LUPIN | ONE NEGRONI

this combined a guilty pleasure of mine, mob boss aus and the marauders, mainly featuring our beloved Remus Lupin -- it just seemed natural making him the mob boss  (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵) hehe~

JAMES POTTER | GENUINE

i literally couldn't sleep until i wrote this and i'm so happy i did too because you darlings seemed to really enjoy it too! now i have a deep love for the actor james x singer reader trope (๑>◡<๑)

JAMES POTTER | LIKE LOVERS DO

this was sooo self-indulgent ( /)///(\✿) it's a manifestation of my love for james potter and the friends to lovers trope -- this fic is secretly how i want to my relationship with james to blossom in another universe where he's no longer fictional and i have a chance at making him mine!

JAMES POTTER | BOUDOIR PHOTOSHOOT

i've been seeing tiktoks of this on my fyp for a long time and i kept thinking of james every time i saw it, my real life responsibilities kept getting in the way of me writing it until i finally committed writing it even if it meant sleeping super late again (๑˃́ꇴ˂̀๑)   

GROUP EFFORT SERIES

this imagines series is from my mcu + misc. side blog and i predict having a lot of fun with it in the future ; i'm writing it from a random thought i had during my hiatus when i got into the mcu fandom, it went along the lines of: i wonder how the avengers would handle babysitting a baby like Jack-Jack from the Incredibles -- i slapped my love for single mother reader tropes on it and this imagines series was made!

THE PRINCESS' SEVEN MERCENARIES

after getting into the mcu fandom during my hiatus, i also fell in love with many of Chris Evans' characters and started reading fics about them too, combine that with my love for fairy tale aus, drawing inspiration from a writer with a phenomenal nsfw fairy tale series and you get this snow white au series with seven of my favourite Chris Evans characters (。>\\<)♡

damn... look at this list makes me realise how much i've written this year despite my hiatus -- i need to give myself more credit since half the time i feel like i'm not writing enough omg! thank you so much for prompting me to do this, my love!

[bvidzsoo]

bvidzsoo's tumblr wrapped, 2024

tagged by the lovely @sorryimananti-romantic thank u! <3

2024 review

I've been writing for a very long time now, since I was like thirteen I'm not even joking, but 2024 was the year where I pumped out story after story, and I think it was also my most inspired year. I really loved creating so much and I wish time was more lenient with me so that I could write even more lol, but I've entered the 'real life' now and I'm sure updates and new stories will come slower from now on, sigh. My readers and mutuals definitely made the year more colourful and exciting, so thank you for the love and support you have shown me on here!

I'll try to wrap up my on-going stories this year, but I write for what I feel most inspired for, so I really cannot promise anything...

total statistics of 2024

no. of fics: 42 total wc: 533.4k (what would I do without my maths genius, thank you Mina! <3) no. of wips: 10 (and I keep getting ideas, sigh...)

genres explored in 2024

tbh, everything, I have really been the most creative this year, huh...from royal to dark fantasy, to gore and dystopian, to very fluffy and romance related stuff, heavy on crime and gore, action and thriller, plenty of supernatural too? yeah, I think this is it...

first fic of 2024: Who am I?

posted: january 10th

pairing: gangster/mafia!yunho x female reader

comments: this whole story is a 'joke' (it isn't actually), I started writing it on a whim, very randomly, without constructing an actual plot for it like I do all the time...with this one, I had a few outlined ideas and I just went with them lol...it was a funny experience because I cannot remember the last time I wrote anything so unplanned and unorganised (I think the story isn't bad tbh despite it)

longest fic: Preying on you tonight

posted: march 31st

pairing: werewolf!mingi x vampire!female reader

comments: man, I got the idea for this in the funniest way...I remember being in lecture and someone had a presentation in which they used Twilight as a reference, then Jacob was brought up later, and the truth is that I hate werewolf stuff/lore/fantasy LMAO, so I figured huh...what if a vampire (since I'm a vampire girlie) gets imprinted on by a werewolf she hates?? and since Halazia!Mingi will be forever iconic and I've always wanted to write something with him..tadaa, here's this gem that I still love very much lol

last fic: Is Santa the new Cupid?

posted: december 25th

pairing: hongjoong x female reader

comments: it was my first time partaking in any writing event and I so excited to write this! especially when I saw who I was writing for, hehehe...at the time I was also feeling super unwell due to a sudden health issue (which I'm still struggling with, sigh), so it took my mind off things a bit...before speaking to Kat, I had Seonghwa in mind as the lead, but she chose our Captain, so...the story came to life hehe

top 3 most popular fics of 2024

Preying on you tonight

comment: I'd like to add this bit since I've already talked about it...I certainly did not expect it to blow up this much, I didn't think people would enjoy this so much lol...but I'm grateful!!

The trace of you

posted: december 5th

pairing: psychiatrist!yunho x patient!female reader

comments: I watched the series Alias Grace and kind of became obsessed with it for a few days, so, uhm...this story came to life and it seemed very fitting to have Yunho as the male lead, so yeah...I had a lot of fun exploring their characters while trying to keep the essence of the series as well...but also giving it a shadow of mystery, I suppose

Obliviate Me

posted: july 29th

pairing: dark/evil!seonghwa x female reader

comments: if you look at the moodboard, you'll see the picture in the middle, yup, I was inspired by that one picture...when I saw it, I just knew I had to write something...I like Harry Potter a lot, and ig confession time: I'm obsessed with Tom Riddle's era and just his whole lore and such, hence his huge presence in the oneshot lol

Ariadne's personal picks

Marionette

posted: july 17th

pairing: Aphrodite's son!yeosang x Hera's daughter!female reader

comments: honestly, this whole Greek series I have created I'm obsessed with, but out of all the written drabbles, Yeosang's part is just >>> to me, I had so much fun writing this and I just genuinely love the plot I created, it's dark and twisted and not something I usually write...I wish more people would've liked it tho, sigh (also tmi, but all the titles in the series are taken from Red Velvet songs, wink)

Haunted me, haunting you

posted: september 23rd

pairing: victor!mingi x female reader

comments: I love the Hunger Gams like nothing else on this Earth, my thesis was also about the second book and quite frankly, I got this idea while writing my thesis, so...the Mingi in this story is very dear to me, writing him felt so tender and heartbreaking at the same time, I want to protect him from everyone ACK

Daemonium

posted: july 15th

pairing: demon!wooyoung x female reader

comments: man...writing this was a complete humour project to me...the plot was meant to be funny, the MC wasn't supposed to take anything seriously, and Wooyoung was supposed to attempt murder on her at least a dozen of times lmao...so yeah, idk how my humour landed, but I was so excited to write it and also amused by it, it was once again quite different from what I usually write, but I love the supernatural so I was in my element lol

2025 goals

hmm, I think I wish to continue writing like before and I pray I don't get a burn out lol, because I hate those

finish everything that I've started because I hate leaving unfinished stories, it irks me a lot

write more for ao3 since I have a bunch of mxm ideas as well, but ig I prioritise tumblr for now

I'll tag: @hongjoongspoetry @kitten4sannie & anyone who wants to do this! ^^

[whalyrae]

THE OLD GUARD - CHAPTER 3

"We don’t get a say on how it ends, we never have. But we can control how we live."

Summary : You are a powerful witch, cursed and hurt through ages. Owner of your esoteric shop, you were resigned to live this lonely life when the powerful magic of soulmates and fate came to you.

Pairing : poly BTS x reader (she/her)

Genre : soulmate au, demons bts au, witch y/n au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, polyamory relationships

Status : In process

Word Count : 4.5K

Warnings : eventual smut, angst, mention of depression, death, suicide, past trauma, violence, blood, past (sexual) abuse, past torture, PTSD, scars, self harm, and more.

Tag list : @blackrockshooter780 @babyymeme @starrlo0ver @suckerforv @mushroom-main @m1sss1mp @prettydancingdamzel @i-have-no-life-charlie @avadakadabra93 @veronawrites @kawaiikpoplover268 @didi-9310 @ghostlyworld @carolinexkpop @gooooomz @00ihatesnaku

A/N : HEY YO I'M BACK !! Okay, I'm really sorry it took so long to publish the chapter... my exams, and after that I took a long rest because I travel in Spain and then in Paris during a whole month ! So as an apologize, this chapter is hella long I think it's the longest I've ever wrote in my life jfdkljgfk... I hope you'll like it !

Feel free to comment or send me a message (anonymously or not!) and give me your reactions, your impressions, your questions… I don't mind at all, on the contrary!

In the next chapters, there will be revelations, and answers to questions hehe so please don't hate me too much…!

A BIG THANK YOU again for all these views, I thought that by being absent for so long, my writings would be forgotten … but not at all!

Enjoy your reading, and thanks again, take care, I love you ♥

OH BY THE WAY !! I made a spotify playlist ! If you have any songs who made you think about the story, you can share it to me and I'll add it on the playlist !

Here is the link : The Old Guard Playlist

ps : sorry for the mistakes, it's already 1am here, but I really REALLY need to post something..... ENJOY :D

Masterlist | ao3 | wattpad

Chapter 2 // Chapter 4

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

“I did it! I beat Ganon! Did you see, Jimin ?”

Jungkook put down his controller next to him on the couch, raising his arms with a big smile. Beside him, Jimin didn't seem to pay attention to him. His eyes focused on his cell phone. 

Jungkook frowned, and turned to Taehyung, sitting on his right. 

"Taehyung, Taehyung! Look!!!"

But he noticed that Taehyung also seemed lost in thought and was not paying any attention to him. 

Jungkook puffed out his cheeks, a pout on his face. 

"Hyungs! What's going on?”

“Do you know where Yoongi is? " 

Taehyung's question surprised Jungkook. He arched an eyebrow and thought for a few seconds. 

He knew that Namjoon and Hoseok had gone to the public library for some research, but he couldn't remember which. Jin had gone to the grocery store. 

And Yoongi... well, he didn't remember seeing him or even remembering him leaving the apartment. 

"He's been missing for a while, he doesn't answer when I try to call him..." Jimin sighed as he threw his phone down next to him. 

They remained silent for a few seconds, while the game on the television continued to play its cinematic. 

Jungkook turned his head and noticed that the window was slightly open. He pointed at it with his chin to his partners. 

The three demons then glanced at each other. They figured it out. They knew where Yoongi had gone.  

"You think he went..." began Jungkook. 

"I wouldn't even be surprised, he was very quiet yesterday after Namjoon’s explanations." Jimin continued.

And they all knew that at those times, it meant that Yoongi had something on his mind. And when he did, he became the most stubborn person alive. Nothing and no one could make him change his mind. 

"That guy... Ah, when he gets home, he'll hear me." Taehyung sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

Jungkook jumped to his feet. 

"Are you going to wait quietly for him to come back?" He asked, crossing his arms before straightening up from the couch. "Because I'm not. We've been waiting for this moment for way too long." 

°°°

Yoongi was… well she couldn’t describe him. His voice was sweet, his little vibrato always made her body shiver a little. Besides, he was so kind, so gentle, she had never seen so much tenderness in a gaze that was destined to her. 

Well, of course, there was Jin. But that was so, so long ago. 

She bit her lower lip nervously. Thinking about him made her heart ache. She was close to him like she never was since the two of them were separated, yet so far at the same time. She still hadn't thought about how she would manage it. She'd never figured out how to get his memory back, and she’d never found him at all to try anything though. 

At first, she had planned to spend the afternoon with her books, researching curses, spells, or some kind of memory-related magic. She wanted to have some sort of plan before she tried any approach with her soulmates. 

But it seems that one of them decided otherwise. 

Yoongi never took his eyes off her. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts for some reason, probably his visit disturbed her. 

He couldn't read her mind, she was probably powerful enough to block her mind to telepaths, as he and his demon boyfriends were. His admiration for her only grew stronger and stronger. 

He wanted to know what was happening in her head, what seemed to be troubling her. 

From the moment he saw her through her shop window in his cat form, busy watering her plants when he saw the lines on her face when he realized he was standing in front of his last soulmate, the world stopped in front of him for a moment. 

Just as he felt when he met Namjoon, Jin, Hoseok, Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. That feeling of being face to face with someone he'd known all his life, even though he'd never spoken to them, someone who completed him, who finally made him feel whole and fulfilled. 

A soul mate, pure and simple. 

She felt the same way. Like the day before with Namjoon, and when she was with Jin before they separated. However, she wasn't used to experiencing... so many positive feelings and emotions like that.  

She'd also thought that Namjoon would never talk about her or want to see her again. 

Apparently, she was wrong. 

She fidgeted nervously with her fingers, keeping a certain distance between them. She wanted to ask Yoongi where the others lived, to meet them, and finally see Jin again after all these years.

But the problem was that Jin didn't remember her. And when Namjoon, Yoongi, and the others hear about what happened, they probably wouldn't want anything more to do with her. And that was what she was afraid of. 

The pain of losing a soul mate is a sharp pain, like having her heart ripped out, without any anesthetic, raw. 

She met people who had been rejected by their soulmates, or who had experienced the death of their soulmates. They were a shadow of their former selves, and remained so for the rest of their lives, until their last breath. Most of the time, they ended up taking their own lives, the latter being a gentler and more bearable solution than living without one or both halves. 

She'd been through it once, with Seokjin. If she hadn't been immortal, she wouldn't have survived it. 

"I don't know what's been going through your head, or what you've been going through all these years alone," Yoongi began, taking a step towards her, "but it's all over now. I mean, you're not alone anymore, not now that we've found you. You should have seen Namjoon when he came home yesterday, I haven't seen him this excited since we met Jungkook decades ago." He let out a chuckle. 

She looked up at him, he was close to her, very close. 

If he knew, he wouldn't say that. Even though she couldn't deny that those words warmed her whole being without really controlling it. So, Namjoon was happy to meet her? Were they all? 

"You really thought Namjoon wouldn't tell us about you and we wouldn't want you?" He asked, tilting his head to one side. 

"Honestly, yes." she admitted with a shrug, smiling shyly, "I'm... old, very old, I spent several centuries alone, never finding my soulmates so... I always told myself that they weren't looking for me, or simply didn't want me."

And the only one I ever knew, I lost him, she thought.

"Oh, sweetheart," he murmured, his deep, soft voice making her shiver, "I'm sorry it took me so long to find you, we all are, believe me."

He raised his hand, without hesitation, to place it gently on her cheek. Normally, she wasn’t the most comfortable with physical touch, but strangely, she hadn't flinched, she hadn't moved. The warmth of Yoongi's hand against her skin felt good and soothing in a way she couldn't describe a comfort she hadn't felt... for ages. 

She surprised herself leaning slightly against it, even closing her eyes when he started to rub softly her cheek with his thumb. 

She opened her lips to reply but heard something behind Yoongi that made her take a step back. She heard the bell of her shop signifying that someone was entering.

"I knew it!" she heard a deep voice approach them, "I knew you wouldn't listen to Namjoon hyung!"

She tilted her head as Yoongi turned his, not disturbed by the interruption. She was surprised to find herself facing three new people. She didn't need to ask who they were, nor she didn't need to ask Yoongi who these three beautiful and handsome men standing in front of her were. 

When her eyes met those of the smallest of the three, while the other two were talking to Yoongi, she didn't even know about what because she wasn't paying any attention. Her gaze was completely absorbed by this pink-haired person standing a few meters away from her. She was feeling for the second time today what she had felt earlier with Yoongi.

These three people were part of their bond. They were their soulmates too. 

One of the other two noticed the smaller boy's attitude and turned toward him. 

"Jimin, are you..." he began, turning his head to follow his gaze, "Okay..."

His voice trailed off when he saw her.

She didn't know what to say or do, she could feel four pairs of eyes on her now. 

She noticed a smile tugging at the corner of Yoongi's lips and she bites her own nervously. 

He knew that the maknaes would notice his absence, and would quickly realize where he was and, most importantly, that they would come to her. 

"Are you..." the smaller one, Jimin, whispered in a trembling voice, taking a step towards her. 

"Yes... Yes, I am." she replied, looking away, "It's a pleasure to meet y-ah...!"

She hadn't had time to finish her sentence when she felt a pair of arms around her waist and a body pressing against hers. She looked down, surprised to see a pink ball, slightly trembling. 

"We've been waiting for you for so long..." he murmured shakily. 

She felt her head spin slightly under all these new sensations, not so new, but ones she hadn't felt for ages. It was as if she was rediscovering them.

She didn't know how to react and didn't have time to think about it when she felt two new pairs of arms around her waist. 

"Jimin, don't monopolize her yet!" a young man with blue hair sulked, "Ah, I can't tell you how happy I am to finally meet you... Can I call you Noona?"

She didn't know what to say and didn't have time to think about it either.

"Noona," the tallest of the three murmured as he hugged her a little tighter, "I can't believe I can finally hold you... You’re real...!"

She was surprised to see Jimin sobbing quietly in her arms. She looked up, utterly confused, and searched for Yoongi, who was standing not far from her, his hand resting on Jimin's back, stroking him affectionately as he looked at her. He gave her a gentle smile and shrugged. 

"They are our maknaes, Jimin," he pointed to the pink-haired one, "Taehyung," he pointed to the blue-haired one, "and Jugkook, the youngest." He finished by pointing to the last one, who was looking at her with shining eyes.

“Noona, you’re so gorgeous,” Jungkook said, making her blush furiously. 

“Kook’… you're making her uncomfortable," Yoongi grumbled as he brought his hand up to stroke Jimin's hair. 

"I'm not... thank you..." she smiled as she saw Jungkook's face light up, then looked down at Jimin, "Is he all right?" she asked, worried to see him in such a state. 

"Don't worry about him," Taehyung caught her eye and gave her a big smile, "he's very sensitive and just happy to finally find you."

"And we've been waiting for you... "Jungkook continued before letting out a shy little laugh, "Ah, you must have heard it lots of times since yesterday but... It's true... we've been looking for you for years, without success..."

"We've all always had that hole in our hearts..." Jimin spoke again, raising his head, his eyes bright and slightly red, "It was painful sometimes when all that was missing for us was you, I don't even want to imagine how you must have felt without any of us..."

She didn't even notice that tears had started to fall as they spoke. She wasn't the kind of person who cried easily, far from it. But in less than two days, this was already the second time it had happened.

She didn't know why she was so moved by their words, perhaps because they were the people she'd been looking for all her long life, never finding, thinking they didn't want her, which turned out to be wrong. 

She could feel the deep empathy in their words because they'd been through the same thing as her - less so because they were all together - she felt understood by the people who were meant for her, and that feeling was indescribable. 

Noticing her tears, the three maknaes backed away slightly but stayed close to her. 

"Noona I... we're sorry if we said something hurtful..." murmured Jimin nervously. 

"No, I'm the one who's sorry," she replied, shaking her head, "I'm just... I don't know, it all seems so unrealistic..."

And it still was. Knowing that she found her soulmates, that Jin was only a few miles away... After all those years of loneliness, of feeling guilty, of secretly envying the people who crossed her path, happy with their soul mates...

She thought back to Minji's words, yesterday’s evening in their apartment...

« You deserve it more than anyone else. You spent your whole life helping anyone who asks for help, sacrificing your life more than once - literally - for the helping and saving. You deserve to be happy, with those who are destined for you. »

The thought of those words made her tears double. Because after all these years, centuries even, in darkness, the light was finally coming to her, the hope of a more bearable and less lonely eternity was growing inside her.  

“Hey, sweetheart, please don’t cry,” Yoongi’s sweet voice brought her out of her thoughts, “You’re prettier when you smile.” 

She blinked several times and looked at each of the people around her. 

There they were, her soul mates. 

“Ah, I think Namjoon hyung and Hoseok hyung are back home," suddenly muttered Taehyung, who had his phone in his hand, "They want to know where we are..."

"I think we're in a bit of a mess..." chuckled Jungkook, resting his cheek against her shoulder. "Oh, you don't know Hobi hyung yet!"

"Same for Jin, I think we're going to have a bad time when we get home... they're going to be even more jealous!" added Jimin with a small smile.

Her eyes had widened when he'd mentioned Jin's name. He was with them. There was no doubt about it now. The confirmation twisted her stomach slightly with anticipation and excitement. 

Jin was alive. He was in the same town as her after... over five hundred years apart. She didn't know how to deal with it all, again, it all seemed so unrealistic. She felt like she was in a dream, that she'd wake up sooner or later, and that everything she was experiencing now was an illusion. 

If this was indeed a dream, she hoped she'd never wake up.

"I have an idea! Why don't you come with us?"

She lowered her head at Jimin's question. This was something she hadn't expected. 

"So you can meet them too and see Namjoon again! Good idea, Minnie!" Taehyung came and hugged his partner, kissing his cheek affectionately. 

Jimin giggled in Taehyung's arms, making her smile. But the idea of finding herself in the same room as not just one, but all her soul mates. Seeing Jin again, without the certainty that he'd regained his memory... If they found out the truth, what had happened, she'd lose them for sure.

Selfishly, she didn't want that to happen. She wanted to see Jin again, of course. It was all she could think about, constantly, ever since they both split up. But the risk was too big now. She wanted to come to him with a plan, a way of getting his memory back if he hadn't. She owed him that.

"I know we're all more than happy to find her finally," Yoongi began, "but our beautiful soulmate can't just walk away from her business, can she?"

"But Yoongi hyung... I don't want to leave her..." pouted Jungkook, rubbing his cheek against her shoulder.

"I know Kookie, me neither," Yoongi sighed softly, understanding with Jungkook because he too didn't want to part with her, "but I think she needs some time to herself, to get over her emotions, am I right?"

He looked at her, his lips stretching slightly into a thin smile. She could see in his eyes that he wasn't reproaching her and that he was also prepared to stay if she asked him to. Every one of them was ready to go and get the moon for her if she asked them to.

"I understand... it must have been a lot of emotions for you..." Taehyung sighed sadly as he pulled away from Jimin, "So can we give you our phone number? And we'll give you our address too!"

"Good idea!" Jimin exclaimed and snapped his fingers to summon a piece of paper and a pen, " So you can come and see us whenever you like! Usually, there's always someone at home, but if there isn't, we'll give you the code, and you can just make yourself at home and wait for us!"

"Deal," she replied as Jimin wrote their numbers and addresses on the sheet of paper, "and you, feel free to come here, whenever you like, my apartment's upstairs, but I suppose you already know that..."

"What was I saying, she's extremely intelligent, our soulmate, as well as being beautiful," Yoongi smirked, making her blush.

"Aaah, I don't want to leave you, Noona..." Jungkook whined, grabbing her arm, "You smell so good too..."

YoShe u held back a smile, feeling a slight pinch in her heart.

She didn't want them to leave either.

°°°

“You did what ?!”

Sitting on the sofa, Yoongi chuckled as the three maknae shrugged their shoulders at Hoseok, Seokjin, and Namjoon. Namjoon had his arms crossed against his chest, his eyebrows furrowed, while his two companions beside him looked desperate but amused at the same time. 

"You're incapable of listening to a tiny indication, are you..." Namjoon blurted out accusingly, "I hope you haven't scared her..."

"Knowing these three," began Hoseok, addressing the maknae, "they would have been able to jump on her..."

Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook glanced at each other. Without needing to reply, Jin's eyes widened. 

"You jumped on her..." It wasn't a question, but a statement. 

"I... I wouldn't go to the extreme of using the word jump Jin hyung..." defended Jungkook with a pout, "and then... it was Jimin who clung to her first and cried like a baby !"

The said Jimin turned to his boyfriend, outraged and betrayed. 

"At least I didn't make her feel uncomfortable by showering her with compliments! "Oh noona, you're so beautiful, you're so intelligent noona!" cried Jimin, pointing his finger at Jungkook, who was frowning, and Yoongi, who wasn't paying any attention to the conversation.

Hoseok and Jin couldn't help laughing as they watched their younger partners bickering, while Namjoon rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He should have known that his partners wouldn't listen to him and would go and find her the second his back was turned. He wasn't that angry with them, he understood them. From the second they'd said goodbye the day before, all he could think about was seeing her again. Yoongi was the most stubborn and obstinate of them all, and if the maknaes were by nature very impatient, he was even more so. 

He couldn't blame them, she was their soul mate just as she was his. And even if a reason they didn't know existed had darkened her heart and saddened her soul, she could not want to have something to do with them. She just couldn't. 

His four companions had only listened to their hearts.

"Did it at least go well?" finally asked Hoseok, who had settled on the floor, facing the maknaes, "how is she?"

"She's incredible hyung!" exclaimed Taehyung, "She's beautiful and her voice is so sweet..."

"Aaah, I miss her," Jimin added as he dropped onto Taehyung, "we shouldn't have left..." 

Hoseok chuckled and turned to Jin. 

"That means we're the last ones who didn't meet her, ah, that's not fair... Jin, are you all right?"

They all turned to the older man who had sat on the edge of the large sofa. He was staring into space, his face disfigured by pain. 

Yoongi was the first to react and got up to approach his elder. 

"Hyung, is it the same as yesterday?"

Jin took his head in his hands, nodding. He didn't understand why these violent migraines were suddenly coming to him, and more importantly, why he was now having these flashes and memories that weren't his own. 

Or were they? He had no memory of living in a human village with a hill and a big oak tree. And who was this person he was with? He couldn't see their face correctly, it was blurred, like everything that had happened since yesterday. 

"What's wrong with him, Yoongi?" asked Namjoon, concerned. 

"He's never been like this..." Jungkook sat down next to him, also worried.  

Yoongi told them about yesterday's episode in the kitchen, which made Jin wince, not wanting to bother them with it. 

"It's nothing," Jin muttered after a few seconds massaging his temples, "It's just tiredness I guess."

He wouldn't talk about the memories flooding his mind. He didn't want to worry them anymore. He'd look for the answers himself. 

"Hyung you've been very tired before, you've never had this kind of response..." replied Jimin who had gone into the kitchen to get him a glass of water. 

"He's right, maybe it's a problem with your powers? Or... argh, I don't know." Taehyung grumbled in frustration. 

"It'll be fine," Jin reassured him with a small smile, "I'll get some rest, and everything will be better tomorrow. But I will remember that you met our soulmate and Hobi and I are the only ones who don't know her."

He chuckled when he saw the innocent looks on the maknae’s faces and ruffled Yoongi's hair to reassure him. 

"If it happens again, you won't be able to escape," Yoongi replied simply, rising to his feet. 

He said nothing, but when his gaze met Namjoon's, the two demons understood each other. Jin's condition coincided strangely with the meeting of their last soulmate.

Pure coïncidence? Or was there a link between her and Jin's condition?

°°°

Every day there was an outdoor market in Seoul. She used to go there regularly to find various types of plants for her potions, spells, and other magical preparations. But also, fruit and vegetables for her personal use.

This time, Handong has decided to come with her. She closed her shop for the morning and set off in the early hours. 

She looked up at the sky and spotted the moon, gradually disappearing to make way for the sun. The full moon was for tonight. 

She knew that the moon was a very powerful force for witches. It was also that moment when she recharged her crystals and prepared her moon water for the month. 

But above all, the full moon influenced her powers. It was the best time to cast powerful spells and make sure they worked. It was therefore the perfect opportunity to find any spell that would help Jin recover his memory. 

The day before, after Yoongi, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin had left, and after spending a good hour recovering from her emotions, she went back to combing through every magic book and grimoire she owned, whether in the bookshop or her personal library.

She hadn't found anything very conclusive. All the chapters on memory magic had one thing in common: the spells, their effects, and their duration always depended on who was casting them and who was being affected by them. 

The spell cast on Jin could have disappeared, just as it could still be present. She could only know this by seeing him and talking to him. But even that was a tricky thing to do. 

"Is everything all right, sweetie?" Handong asked in a soft voice, after noticing that she’d been quiet for a while now. 

"Hm?" she turned her head towards her, before smiling and nodding, "Yes, of course! sorry I... I was thinking about my research last night."

"Don't apologize," Handong smiled at her, "It's perfectly understandable. Don't hesitate if you need advice, I'm not a specialist, but I'll gladly give you my opinion."

She nodded again and explained what she’d found. Her different ideas, but they all came down to a single point. She had to see Jin to find out about his condition and memory. And that was where she was stuck. 

During her explanations and conversation, she had arrived at the market, and without stopping to talk, she looked at the different stalls, buying some fruit and vegetables from old ladies. 

In the distance, she notices a stall selling papaya. She hadn't seen or eaten papaya for a long time. It was also Jin's favorite fruit. 

Handong was busy with a merchant, so she waved back and headed towards the stall. She greeted the old woman manning the stall and looked carefully at the fruit on display. 

As she reached out to take one, she saw an arm in her field of vision landing on the same papaya as her. Surprised, she turned her head mechanically to see who it was, before freezing, her eyes wide. 

No, it couldn't be true. 

She had to be hallucinating, it couldn't... be him. 

And yet she could recognize that face, those features above all others.

Jin. 

Kim Seokjin was standing in front of her. 

°°°

"By the way hyung, why were you and Joonie at the library yesterday?" 

Jimin was currently sitting on a stool, watching Hoseok who was busy preparing lunch while Jin was away. 

"Namjoon wanted to research our soulmate," he explained as he chopped some onions, "At first I didn't understand why honestly, but you know, over time, you and I know very well that Namjoon's instincts are never wrong."

"Does that mean you've found something?" exclaimed Jimin, suddenly straightening up. 

Hoseok nodded, now working on dicing the vegetables. What they had found in the library... he could still hardly believe it. 

Should he tell Jimin? Or should he wait until they are all together to share the results of their research? 

He didn't have time to think about it any longer. He heard a loud knock, startling Jimin. It wasn't long before Yoongi and Jungkook emerged from their room, also startled. 

"What's going on here?" Asked the older one, "I don't suppose we were expecting company?"

"Maybe it's Jin who's back and his arms are too full to open the door!" Jungkook added, tilting his head to one side. I'll get the door!"

He trotted to the door, dressed in a long sweatshirt belonging to Namjoon, who was still asleep in the room, just like Taehyung. 

He opened the door with a big smile on his face. 

"Hi! What took you so long Jin hyun..."

He didn't finish his sentence. His voice faded as he saw what was standing in front of him. At his silence, Yoongi and Jimin joined him, themselves freezing in front of what was in front of them. 

Y/n was standing in front of them, totally panicked, out of breath, and sweating. 

But she wasn’t alone. 

"Help me... please..." she begged, her voice breaking. They could see she was holding back tears. 

She was supporting Jin, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. A completely unconscious Jin. 

[oldiesstationlover11607]

HIII BFFF!!!🤗🤗 i hope u are well!!!

sorry for not being active 😣😣 a gal has been booked and BUSY. but hopefully i’ll have some more free time soon 🙏🙏

i was going to write something like this… howeverrrr i have a lot of ideas already & i think you can do a really good job with this!!!

but basically you can pick either josh or tyler & the reader is a pop rock kinda artist & tyler/josh have always admired her from afar. so they invite the reader to open for them on tour. there’s some romantic tension & reader plays a song dedicated to tyler/josh & the fans r all 😮😮😮

something like that!!!! you can do whatever with it, i think there’s a lot of directions you can take this:3

p.s how are you feeling abt getting a LIVE ALBUM… still in shock.

Smithereens - Tyler Joseph x Singer!Reader

Warnings: Nothing hehe

Word Count: 3648 - pretty sure this is officially the longest fic I've written and posted on here :)

A/N: OH MA GAWD THIS WAS FUN AF FREN... this is so freaking cute I can't even deal with it! I'm in massive shock at the fact we're getting a live album btw my show isn't even until November and things just keep getting better and better with the tour lol I can't believe we're getting some of the transitions like natn to hds like WHAT THE WOW oh and the possibility of hometown x slowtown (um slowtown on streaming???? Tyler the man u ur–and josh bc ily). I cannot wait. oh and heathens into next semester... I'm so excited bc the setlist is so good it's gonna rock and be on repeat forever. Anyways, enough rambling onto the amazing fic I am incredibly proud of! 😁

“What!” I barked into my phone, rubbing my eyes until my vision went from blurry to clear. It had been a crazy night before, staying up late partying with my friends before falling to sleep at 3am. What had woken me up was a series of buzzing noises from my phone, buzz after buzz after buzz until it started ringing. 

“Y/N? It’s Mary.” Shit. My manager. 

“Oh! Sorry! It was a hectic night,” I laughed, running a hand through my hair. 

Her laugh echoed through the speakers of my phone. “So I’ve heard. It’s all over social media.” I shook my head, knowing exactly who had posted what to their thousands of followers.��

“What’s up?” I asked, flopping down onto my perfectly plump pillows. 

“I’ve booked you a tour!” I could tell she was ecstatic, even more so that I was. We’d been hoping to book a tour for the last year and a half and finally we’d done it. It was hard trying to find bands or musicians who were open to having newer and alternative artists open for them–especially someone whose genre is somewhat all over the place. 

“What?” I shot up in bed, wide awake now, the sleepiness immediately replaced by a rush of excitement and nerves. “With who?”

Mary hesitated for a moment, letting the anticipation build. “Well... how do you feel about opening for Twenty One Pilots?”

My heart practically leapt out of my chest. Twenty One Pilots? As in Josh Dun and Tyler Joseph? I’d always admired them, like... from afar. Sure, we’d crossed paths a few times at festivals and award shows, but nothing like this. In fact, I wasn’t even sure if they’d heard of me before.

“You’re kidding,” I breathed out, my voice barely a whisper.

“Not at all,” she replied, her tone giddy with excitement for me. “They specifically asked for you. Apparently, Tyler’s been a big fan of your music for a while. This could be huge, Y/N.”

I could hardly process it. “Wait… they asked for me? Tyler listens to my music? Sorry WHAT?!” Tyler Joseph? A fan of my music? It felt unreal. “I—” I stammered, feeling overwhelmed. “When does it start?”

“Next month. But you’re going to need to rehearse like crazy to get ready.”

“I’ll be ready.” I hung up the phone and collapsed back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling in disbelief. I was going on tour with Twenty One Pilots. Tyler and Josh. The guys I had admired for years were now... going to be watching me from backstage? I felt a shiver of nervous energy run down my spine.

A few weeks later, rehearsals were in full swing, and I was gearing up for the first show. 

“Y/N! They’re here!” My friend Joseph had screeched running into the rehearsal space. “No way.” I covered my mouth to try and hide the growing psychotic smile on my face. I was going to pass out from excitement. This wasn’t happening. I turned to the entrance to see the two of them strutting in, shaking the hands and bumping the fists of crew members they both knew and didn’t know. My heart was pounding as I watched them walk in, every movement somehow both casual and magnetic. Josh, with his surprisingly natural brown hair and classic easy smile, waved at a few familiar faces, while Tyler, wearing his usual baseball cap and oversized hoodie, exuded that quiet intensity I’d always admired. They looked like they belonged, like they owned the room without even trying. And here I was, standing in the middle of the rehearsal space, trying not to lose my cool.

Joseph was practically vibrating with excitement beside me, nudging me with his elbow. “Dude, go say hi!” he whispered, eyes wide.

“I-I can’t. Look at them,” I replied, clenching my jaw through every world to hide my delusion.

I swallowed hard, my palms already sweaty. What was I supposed to say? Hey, I'm Y/N, a rando who's admired you from afar for years? Oh, and thanks for asking me to open for you on tour, no big deal.

Before I could overthink it any more, Tyler's eyes landed on me. My breath hitched as he gave me a nod and a small smile, his gaze lingering just long enough to make my pulse race. He elbowed Josh, who turned and followed his gaze.

“Oh man, it’s her!” Josh said, grinning as they walked over. Sorry, what? 

“Y/N, right?” Tyler said, his voice warm but somehow deeper in person.

I turned to look around the room as if trying to figure out if he was talking to me or not. “Uh… yeah?” I said, it came out more like a question than an answer. “Yeah, that's me,” I repeated, trying to sound casual even though my heart was doing backflips. “Thanks for, uh... asking me to open for you guys. It's an honor.”

Tyler exchanged a glance with Josh, something unspoken passing between them. “We’ve been following your music for a while now,” Tyler admitted, rubbing the back of his neck like he was just as unsure of what to say as I was. “You–You’re really talented.”

I blinked, trying to process the fact that Tyler Joseph just said that to me. “Thanks. That means a lot, really.”

“We’re stoked to have you on board,” Josh chimed in, flashing that friendly, easygoing smile. “I think the fans are gonna lose it when they see you perform.”

“Yeah,” Tyler added, his eyes meeting mine again. “It's gonna be a good tour.”

There was something in the way he said it, the weight behind his words, that made my skin tingle. I felt that spark again, the same one I’d felt from watching him in interviews and onstage, but this time it was real. Tangible. 

Over the next few days, I kept catching Tyler’s eyes during rehearsals, our conversations short but loaded with something unspoken. It was subtle—just the way his gaze lingered a little too long, or how his smile felt more personal when it was directed at me. I wasn’t sure if I was crazy–my immense crush on the multi-talented lead singer getting the best of me–or if he had noticed the same thing. The energy between us felt electric, charged with something we weren’t quite saying out loud.

One evening, after my home city show, I was sitting out on the stage–the venue completely empty. I was alone, staring out at the abandoned seats and floor, still able to feel the energy from less than a few hours ago. Letting out a deep sigh, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to see Tyler standing there, hands in his hoodie pockets, his expression unreadable.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked softly.

I shook my head, patting the spot beside me. “Not at all.”

He sat down, close enough that I could feel the warmth radiating off him, the proximity making my heart race. We sat there in comfortable silence for a moment, the faint hum of the venue’s equipment the only sound. I could feel his eyes on me as I picked up my ukulele which was sitting next to me and started absentmindedly strumming a few chords.

“I didn’t get to say it earlier,” Tyler started, his voice quiet, like he wasn’t sure how much he wanted to reveal. “But… your performance today? It was incredible.”

I glanced over at him, biting back a smile. “I didn’t know you were watching.”

“I’m always watching,” he said, his gaze intense, sending a shiver down my spine.

I swallowed hard, trying to keep my cool, but it was impossible with the way he was looking at me. “I’m trying… I’m so worried that I’m gonna mess up and make a fool of myself in front of your fans.”

“You’re not and you won’t,” he said quickly, his eyes searching mine. “Far from it, actually. Last time I checked twitter they were talking about how much they love you.”

We fell into another heavy silence, the air between us thick with tension. My pulse was racing, and I felt like there were a million things I wanted to say, but none of them made sense in my head. Tyler shifted slightly, his knee brushing against mine, and even that small touch sent sparks through me.

“Is it weird,” I started slowly, my voice fragile, “that I feel like I’ve known you for longer than I have?” 

The question clearly caught him off guard. His breath hitched, but I forced myself to stay calm. “No, it’s not weird,” he said, glancing down at the floor. “I feel that way too.” Tyler smiled, a small, almost shy smile that made my heart flutter. 

“It’s just… I’ve been following your music for so long, and now that you’re here… I don’t know, it’s different.”

“Different how?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

I hesitated, his eyes flicking to my lips for just a second before I answered. “Better. Way better than I imagined.”

The air between us felt charged, like something was about to happen, but neither of us made the next move. I could feel the weight of his words settling into the space between us, making everything feel more real, more intense.

I had to break the tension before it swallowed me whole.

“Speaking of better,” I said, trying to lighten the mood but failing to mask the shakiness in my voice. “I was thinking of doing something special for tomorrow’s show.”

Tyler raised an eyebrow, curious. “What’s that?”

I glanced at him, feeling a rush of boldness as the idea solidified in my mind. “I was thinking… I’d cover one of your songs.”

His eyes widened, clearly surprised. “You’d cover one of our songs?”

“Yeah,” I said, biting my lip nervously.

Tyler blinked, taken aback, and for a moment I wondered if I’d gone too far. But then his expression softened, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Which song?” he smirked, laying back on the stage.

“Something off Trench, it’s not on your setlist if that’s what you’re worried about,” I laughed, joining him. 

“Why?” he asked, his voice low, like he already knew the answer but wanted to hear me say it.

I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of what I was about to admit. “Because it’s personal. And I’ve listened to your music for so long. It’s always been a dream of mine to get to perform one of your songs live.”

For a second, the world seemed to stop. Tyler’s smile faded, replaced by something deeper, something I couldn’t quite read. His eyes searched mine, and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, waiting for his response.

“You… you’d really do that?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah,” I said, my voice steady even though my nerves were all over the place. “I mean, if that’s okay with you.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, just kept looking at me like he was trying to figure something out. Then, finally, he smiled—a real, genuine smile that made my breath catch.

“It’s more than okay,” he said softly. “I think it’s… perfect.”

The tension between us didn’t break; if anything, it intensified. But it was different now, like we’d crossed some invisible line, and there was no going back.

The next night, the arena was buzzing with energy. I could feel the excitement in the air as I took the stage, the fans screaming and cheering, completely unaware of the surprise I had in store.

After a few songs, I paused, taking a deep breath as I stepped up to the mic. The crowd quieted, waiting for what was next.

“How’re we doing tonight Seattle?” A roar of screams and cheers rang through the venue. “I’ve got a little surprise for you guys tonight," I said, my voice echoing through the speakers. “I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to do a cover of a song that means so much to me. A song that a certain band didn’t put on their setlist this tour. Any guesses who I’m covering?” I laughed. 

The crowd erupted into cheers, and I smiled, glancing toward the side of the stage where Tyler stood, watching me. Our eyes met, and I felt that familiar spark, the unspoken connection between us stronger than ever. 

“You want to come up and play piano for this one Ty?” I asked, the crowd erupting in cheers. Tyler shook his head, hiding his face in his hands. “No? Oh come on, you know you want to. The sheet music’s up there…” I turned to the audience, “I haven’t told him what song I’m playing yet,” I laughed. “You sure you don’t wanna come play?” The fans started chanting for him to join me. 

“Tyler! Tyler! Tyler!” 

“Oh fine!” he shouted, his voice barely audible over the crowd. He climbed on stage and jogged over to the piano, shaking his head with an embarrassed smile. “You're really doing this, huh?” he teased as he adjusted the mic on the piano, sitting down with an exaggerated sigh. I walked over to him, turning the mic off for a second. 

I grinned lightly as the energy of the crowd buzzed in the air. “Oh, I am definitely doing this. And you’re gonna enjoy it.”

Tyler's hands hovered over the keys, clearly waiting for the cue. “Smithereens? Really?” he laughed and I nodded, proud of myself. Tyler turned the mic back on as I waltzed back to my spot. 

“Alright,” I said, glancing over at him. “This one’s for you Tyler.” 

The crowd went wild, their reaction so loud it almost drowned out my words. Tyler chuckled into the mic, shaking his head again in disbelief, but his fingers were already on the keys, playing the opening melody. The soft, familiar notes filled the arena, and my heart started racing again, but for a different reason this time. This was personal. Intimate. And Tyler was right there, playing along with me.

I began singing, my voice steady but carrying all the emotion I had for the moment. I looked over at Tyler as I sang the words, and he glanced up, meeting my gaze for just a heartbeat. There was something in his eyes—something deeper than just admiration, something almost vulnerable. My chest tightened as I sang the next line, the weight of the song suddenly feeling more significant, more real than ever. 

Tyler’s playing was flawless, but there was a hint of tension in his posture, like he was trying to keep something in check. I knew exactly how he felt; the energy between us was palpable, the tension from all those unspoken moments finally reaching a crescendo. The crowd sang along, but it was like they were in the background, as if this performance was happening in our own bubble. Just me and Tyler. 

Every word felt like it was meant for him, and I couldn’t stop myself from looking at him between the lyrics, feeling the connection spark every time our eyes met. When I hit the chorus, the crowd sang so loud I almost couldn’t hear myself. Tyler grinned, his fingers dancing over the keys, the music swelling around us, and for a second, I forgot we were even on stage. It was just him and me, sharing this raw, unfiltered moment. 

As the song came to a close, the final notes ringing out, I turned to face Tyler fully. His gaze was locked on mine, his expression unreadable but intense. The applause and cheers from the audience roared to life, but I barely heard them. Tyler stood up from the piano, slowly walking over to me, and without thinking, I pulled him into a tight hug. The crowd went wild again, their cheers reaching a fever pitch, but it was just background noise to the heartbeat pounding in my ears.

As Tyler wrapped his arms around me in a warm embrace, time seemed to stand still. The world outside faded into the background—the roar of the crowd turned into a distant hum as I buried my face in his shoulder, savoring the moment. His warmth enveloped me, grounding me in the excitement and emotion of what we had just shared.

When we finally pulled back, Tyler kept his hands on my shoulders, his gaze holding mine for just a moment longer than necessary. A shy, yet genuine smile played on his lips, and my heart fluttered. I could feel my cheeks heating up, but I couldn't look away from him.

“Thank you for that,” Tyler said, his voice low but filled with an intensity that made my heart race. “You were incredible.”

I nodded, still breathless. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“I didn’t just like it Y/N, it means more than just liking it,” he whispered into my ear. 

The energy in the venue surged as I turned to the audience, their cheers echoing through the air. With a grin, I stepped back to the mic, trying to compose myself. “Wow, thank you, Seattle! You guys have been amazing tonight!” The crowd roared, and I took a deep breath, adrenaline coursing through my veins.

“This is the end of my set, but stick around because the real show is about to start! Twenty One Pilots is up next!” I waved to the fans, their cheers drowning out my words. “Thank you all so much! I love you!”

As I stepped away from the mic, Tyler clapped a hand on my back, leading me off stage. The moment we were out of view from the audience, the energy shifted. Tyler turned to me, his expression more serious, and I could see a mix of admiration and something deeper in his eyes.

“You made that song come alive in a way I never expected. You’re something else aren’t you?” he said, stepping closer, the air thick with unspoken words. 

I chuckled, shrugging slightly and running a hand through my hair. “I just felt right to play,” I admitted, heart pounding. “It means a lot to me, Tyler.”

He took a step closer, his voice dropping to a soft, intimate whisper. “You’re more than just a talented artist, Y/N. You’re something else entirely. That performance made me realize how lucky I am to have you on this tour. And honestly?” He paused, searching my eyes, the tension palpable. “It just further confirmed how I feel about you, not just as an artist, but as a person.”

My breath caught in my throat, a rush of warmth flooding through me at his words. “I admire you too, Tyler. You and Josh have been a huge inspiration to me.”

Tyler smiled, a soft, genuine smile that made my heart race. “No, really. That was more than just a performance to me. It felt personal. There’s something here, between us.”

I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest as I took a step closer to him. “I feel it too. I’ve been trying to figure out how to say it.”

He brushed a thumb over my cheek, his gaze unwavering. “Then let’s not overthink it. I’m here, you’re here, we clearly both feel something for each other,” he brushed a strand of hair that had fallen into my face behind my ear. “Every time you look at me, it’s like you see straight through to my soul.”

I swallowed hard, his words washing over me. “I could say the same about you.”

“Good,” he replied, his voice deepening. “Because I want to explore whatever this is between us. I want to see where it leads.”

With the distance between us closing, I felt the thrill of the moment, the intensity of his words and the warmth of his presence enveloping me. I wanted to lean in, to let him know just how much I felt, but the excitement and nervousness tangled together in a way that made me hesitant.

Tyler stepped forward, closing the gap even further. “Y/N,” he murmured, his voice soft, yet commanding. “You’ve got to know that every word of that song was a reflection of how I feel about you. It might not have been written with anyone in mind but it’s exactly how I feel about you. And I’ve been waiting for the right moment to tell you how much you mean to me.”

Before I could respond, he leaned in, his lips brushing against mine, sending sparks of electricity through my entire being. The kiss was soft, yet filled with an undeniable passion, and in that moment, everything else faded away. All the worries, the nerves—everything was drowned out by the intensity of his kiss.

When we finally pulled apart, breathless, he smiled down at me, his expression both playful and serious. “I think I’m going to enjoy this tour a lot more now.”

I laughed, the tension lifting as I felt lighter, happier than I had in a long time. “Me too, Tyler. Me too.” I held onto his hand, brushing my thumb over the back of his hand. “Now, you’re supposed to go on in 10 minutes so you should probably go find Josh.”

“Oh damn you’re right,” he looked up at the clock on the wall noticing the time. He started down the hall in the direction of their dressing room but stopped to turn back towards me. “I–We–We’re going out after the show, okay?” 

I nodded, letting out a quiet chuckle. “I’ll come find you. But you really need to go,” I smiled. 

“I really need to go,” he repeated, looking slightly sad that he had to leave. And with that, he walked back into his dressing room, the excitement of the night still crackling in the air. 

//

REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN TEAM!

[reading-stains]

soukoku fics: recs and reviews

look, i really like fanfiction. and i've always felt people sometimes don't give good enough reasons to actually read a lot of it. if you scroll down enough, you'll see i did that too. so i thought i'd help out some people that don't know what to read tonight. you'll notice i took my reviewing seriously hgdsafvkhagsv i'll add more in my reblogs as i go on with this review style, but for now, here are three fanfics that pushed me to do this. fair warning, they're long ones.

A Lesson in Thorns by arkastadt

Word Count: 454,556

Tags: Arranged Marriage, BSD Beast!AU, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Character Death, Heavy Angst, Happy Ending, Ghosts, So Much Smut

Review:

As one of the longest fics I’ve ever read, it took me three days to read it, and a lot of lost sleep. A Lesson in Thorns is a journey that no one is truly prepared for. It’s surprising, I think, how one only notices the slow burn in the beginning, and forget they didn’t start out together in the end. So many things happen in the span of those fifty chapters, and so many feelings arise alongside their events. The reader watches Chuuya grow into himself, despite the haunting (hehe) that surrounds him by the end. Dazai becomes a man wishing to live, despite becoming a ghost of who he used to be. It’s quite magical, the way the story builds upon itself. What is usually some home, this piece makes an empire. 

This author appealed a lot to the wants and needs within these characters, making a paced build up to the challenges the characters face. Furthermore, there is a wonderful line of thought that is unwavering, consistent to the very end. The reader meets Chuuya getting ready to be married. A deal has been struck with the Port Mafia, and as the leader of the Sheep, Chuuya must marry their boss. A questionable and confusing task, but Chuuya has no more cards under his sleeve, and he has to save Shirase from the pending prison sentence. He walks into where he is to be married, looking to find a wrinkled, aging man. Instead, he faces the bandaged limbs and cunning eye of Dazai Osamu, and the story truly begins. 

The reader already knows it’s not a choice left for random that Dazai takes Chuuya under his wing. It’s already stated that on the first day in his position as the boss, right after killing Mori and sixteen months before he and Chuuya marry, he finds the redhead. A search that is broken down as the story unravels, and an effort that builds them and breaks them apart and puts them back together. 

This fanfic is clearly derived from a lot of the factors pointed in Bungou Stray Dogs’s BEAST light novel, which in my eyes makes it all the more interesting. I tried to give a short insight into the beginning with as much care as I could without creating any spoilers for the reading. I guess from me, all my notes just say it’s worth it. This fic really drags you through so many stages of feelings and excitements, and it builds off from them until you reach a new peak all over again. 

On Deathless Feet by AbsoluteNegation

Word Count: 71,848

Tags: Caretaking, Controlling Arahabaki, Canon-Divergence, Port Mafia and Post-Port Mafia, Smut

Review:

There are some stories that find themselves tucked into a hidden corner. It does not make them any less, and it does not make them any better, it just makes them quiet. Which in turn, when they are finally found, makes them all the more surprising. That is how I feel about On Deathless Feet, tucked in a corner of Ao3, and all incredibly surprising. 

Written with a nonlinear narrative, the reader meets the famed Double Black in different moments, recently met, in the middle of their rise through the ranks, at the brink of their end, after their disconnection with years of silence. AbsoluteNegation makes a wonderful story threaded in different moments, contextualizing their uncomfortable return to each other with interruptions back to their old lives before Dazai’s split from the Port Mafia. The author mainly focuses on Arahabaki, and Chuuya’s relationship with understanding the singularity as it slips out of control. Dazai is sent in to help counter it throughout their time together, and long stretches of contact are needed to get it down to normal. 

With a state of constant carataking, the two are thrusted into communion, needing to learn to accept living with each other for the time being. It isn’t a foreign feeling, seeing the other there, but at the end of the day it’s hard for the two with all that past. A past the author explores in detail just as much, not holding back on making it layered and pretty and very intense. They are creatures of passion, that’s what drives this ship and makes it so loved, and the author doesn’t shy away from building on it. Just as well, however, does the author place their own touch to their relationship, with the care and devotion the two also experiment between them. This fanfic is a welcomed balance to the rockier roads often explored surrounding these two. It never lacks sharpness, but it definitely warms the heart.

music for our funeral by itotypes

Word Count: 67,723

Tags: No Smut, Angst, 70s, Musicians!AU, Drug Abuse, References to Child Neglect, Songwriting, Artistic Lyricism

Review:

Music for our funeral by itotypes is a breathtaking composition, and there is not much like it. Set in the 70s, the author explores the surrounding setting of the rock genre, and writes a story of struggle and connection. Starting out with a run-away teenager, we meet Dazai’s lackluster perfection, the narrative often picturing him as a clinical artist. After leaving home, we watch him make himself something, and see him survive until he looks to live. Meanwhile, the other side of the piece plays with a striving perfectionist, and a reckless guitarist, in the form of Chuuya. The man comes from a struggling family (a stark contrast to the origins of his partner), and finds himself lost in the music. 

An interesting part of the story is that we get to know the characters before they meet. In a way, it allows the reader to explore the lives privy to the explosion, and before the pining and intensity that sparks between the two. One of the most appreciative factors that make this story one of my personal favorites is the usage of images throughout it. With beautiful lyrics exploring the essence of a character’s beliefs without them needing to admit it to themselves, there is a clear view into the conflicts and selfish needs that each character has. 

This author’s work is best described as an ode to music. It comes as a surprise at times, the way words fit together in reverence to this branch of artistry. Yet the fact that it’s done through another form of storytelling, through the use of words on a screen instead of notes on one’s ear, makes it all the more captivating. There is no question this is a must read. 

[prince-dolls]

Week one of the @look-back-month-challenge !

Since I only started collecting dolls recently, I'm including all the toys:) and I'm bad at doing daily things so here's the whole week^_^

Day 1: introduce the newest toy to the one you had longest

I've had Bella since I was two! My sister was born at that time so we got a puppy each<3 she's still the cutest plushie ever to me! Newest is the Miku doll that I got in the beggining of january. I basically only got her body, face is 3d printed and everything else I made myself.

Day 2: chronologically oldest toy

For this day, we got my furby Jace Furbelen and my bunny!

I bought Jace, but the bunny was gifted to me by my childhood friend. She was a little older and a single child, so she had all the cool toys! He never got a name, but I played with him a lot, mainly with my sister, who had a cat lps. We would build houses for them from leaves, grass, sticks and magnolia flower petals or dig them caves in the sand:) then she would get mad at me when my houses were better xD

Day 3: a toy you love but rarely photograph

This could be almost anything, since I only post dolls and furbies, but I love my little dragons! We got Saphira, Firnen and a snalgli:)

They're 3d printed and I made them into Inheritance characters<3 Eragon and the other books were everything to my child self, so I adore having these out! They're so cute, I love how Firnen is a bit smaller and he has to look up at Saphira and I'm happy they get to be together forever on my desk/shelf<3

I also made the lil snail guy look like the ugly slugs (the slimy look included hehe) and I love him for it>:)

Day 4: do you still have any toys from your childhood?

YES!! A LOT!

I love my toys, and when I love something, I don't want to get rid of it. These are just some; I get *very* attached to my things, from toys to the laptop I had for years after the hinge broke and I had to prop the screen up every time I used it. I still have my bakugans, gormiti figures, my filly ponies, lps animals... I do only keep one to three of each thing, though. Others I usually give away to my little sisters. So I have a big range of toys from my childhood, but not a lot of them in numbers. I got two fillies, three gormits, two bakugans, one pony toy... for the ones in the pictures, we got my TMNT Mickey figure (that lost his skateboard and that looked much better to the child me lol), a fairy I got in a pink heart bath bomb (I didn't know it was a bath bomb and made it diffuse in a jug of water to get her out and she smelled amazing for a decade after getting her) and my beloved bakugans that live on my desk lamp!

Day 5: any buying regrets?

that little penny's box goat girl...😒 I really, really thought I would love her. I did not. It was bad, I felt bad and seeing her made me feel worse. Luckly, with the help of my boyfriend I managed to fix everything and I love the sheep boy that she became! I actually made a whole post about fixing him already:)

Day 6: any you're thinking about getting rid of?

Eh.. no. At least not in the foreseeable future. If I get bored of dolls or furbies I'll keep them, since it's not like there's a lot. For the other toys, they already passed the "keep at most three of a kind" test, so I'm left with only what I really loved or what has a big sentiment attached.

I did cancel one order this week though, for the UfDoll tea series boy. I would fully change him anyway, and he was meant to be a bigger version of a doll I already have, so with a bit more thinking (and the seller being late on shipping the guy) I decided against it. Sure, it would be nice, but I don't really need him. I'd rather save that money for something else:)

Day 7: a toy you like, but don't want any more of that kind/line/style

Most of the toys from my childhood, I already have the ones I wanted and I don't want any more. I also don't want any more furbies, I got my beloved Frupi and Jace and they're enough for me:) I love my furbies so much, I feel I don't have the capacity to add another one! I could not care for so many>_< also, for as much as I adore the UfDoll 1/12 body dolls (I got 3), I think that's my limit:)

Bonus picture of the toy shelf!^_^

[tigreblvnc]

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP — @ssstar

Your match is...

— Itoshi Rin

✦ Forgive me, my lord.

✦ I'm about to embark on another endless psychoanalysis…

✦ But I always want to do this when I receive such detailed and complex bios!!!

✦ Listen, I've never read about anyone on Tumblr who made me think of Rin as much as you…

✦ Who are you? Where are you? What do you do? How do you like your eggs in the morning???

✦ … You know what?

✦ Even before reaching the last paragraph of your last message, the one indicating your MBTI… I already knew I was dealing with an INxJ, hehe.

✦ The longest and most detailed descriptions I receive usually come from INFJs or INTJs, and it makes a lot of sense with the way your messages are structured and your complex, rich, and introspective way of thinking. It’s clear that your words are well-thought-out and have been maturing for a long time. I love these MBTI profiles and could talk about them for hours. So, thank you for stopping by for a matchup! I always enjoy receiving such material and discovering different temperaments and stories.

✦ "I wouldn't be able to get along well with someone hyperactive and noisy. I quickly get tired of communicating with very expressive people." Just this sentence alone allowed me to rule out a large part of the cast when I was making my selection hahaha

✦ "I notice that sometimes I find it difficult to get in touch with my negative emotions, but in recent years I have been learning to be more open with sadness and trust my loved ones more when I feel bad." This is a challenge many INTJs experience because in their stack of cognitive functions (in order for INTJ: Ni-Te-Fi-Se), their Introverted Feeling (Fi) is in the Tertiary position. This means it’s one of the functions that INTJs struggle the most with and have the hardest time mastering (the worst being the Inferior: Se). Introverted Feeling (Fi) is the function that focuses on being in harmony with one’s own feelings and values. In the third position for INTJs, it’s hidden under what others might perceive as coldness. This explains why people might sometimes say you seem intimidating.

✦ This is a very common characteristic of MBTI profiles where Extraverted Thinking (Te) is in the top two functions. Unlike INFPs and ENFPs, whose Introverted Feeling (Fi) is at the top of their cognitive stack (making them very in touch with their own emotions), ENTJs and INTJs often struggle with their own inner feelings because they’re so focused on achieving their goals (manifesting their Te) that they have little contact with their inner emotional world. This is why they sometimes struggle to understand themselves on this point.

✦ (That was a little MBTI note)

✦ (Back to the matchup now)

✦ I thought of two other characters for you because I think they resemble you a lot. I’ll tell you more about them at the bottom of the post.

✦ "So, because of this, from time to time I fall into melancholy and thoughtfulness" The INTJ temperament is often melancholic-choleric. I understand this as someone who, deep down, feels a kind of poignant, inexplicable blues, sometimes motivated by the past, sometimes because they feel a strong disconnect from the world and others. This melancholy occasionally turns into anger when this gap becomes too great and unbearable. Typically, it reminds me of this phrase you wrote: "I've had enough of human idiocy for today. And I deeply regret that I share the same species with these people."

✦ In fact, I think you and Rin share a lot, but really A LOT of characteristics. Logical sense, your individualism, the tendency to analyze everything, your occasional caustic response when disturbed. Your inclination for solitude, the fact that there are only certain very specific things for which you open up… Which makes me think that you probably see a lot of yourself in him through his motivations, his way of being with others, and who he is at his core. And since you share the same MBTI, the fact that you and him are so similar don't surprise me.

✦ I have a philosophy that we often resonate with characters who resemble us. We recognize ourselves in them.

✦ "I approach everything I do responsibly if I'm interested in it and tend to immerse myself in what I like, sometimes forgetting that my body needs to replenish its water and food reserves. (Neglecting my own condition is something I've been struggling with for a couple of years now)" There's a moment in the manga (Chapter 110) (Yes, I looked it up) where Rin is training, and Isagi joins him. Rin says to him: "If I break down from this, that just means that's all I was ever gonna amount to." And I think that resonates with your tendency to overwork yourself without paying attention to your physiological needs. There's a drive to achieve your goals that’s so strong that your body becomes a tool for your ambitions, nothing more.

✦ Ultimately, it’s Isagi who ends up reminding Rin to drink.

✦ Indirectly, seeing someone work as hard as he does to achieve their ambitions resonates deeply with Rin, and he respects that ability. It’s the cowards, the weak, the incapable who give up.

✦ In fact, as the manga progresses (well, a little less during the BM x PXG match, let's be honest *cough*), Rin opens up a bit to Isagi. It’s not direct; it’s very subtle, but we see them talking together! Whereas before, if Rin didn’t outright ignore him, he would clearly tell Isagi to get lost.

✦ And as their relationship evolves, as they face their opponents together (specifically during the Japan U20 match), Rin shows gestures of almost solidarity towards Isagi. He ruffles his hair to bring him back to earth, tells him not to get "swallowed." He even promises Isagi, when they’re in a tough spot: "In 90 minutes, I'll turn those cheers into screams of anguish." This is how he ensures their own victory to Isagi.

✦ Like you, he shows more human, less harsh, less ruthless aspects of himself.

✦ Honestly, I’m convinced that there’s still a bit of the child Rin within the current Rin, but it’s completely buried under layers of poison and vengeance because of Sae.

✦ "I am more open with my family and friend" Yes, Rin used to do that too...

✦ (please help him)

✦ "I'm still learning to accept help normally and admit that I need it at all" Do I even need to say anything… Reminding Rin to drink!!

✦ "But I am tough on betrayal and would never forgive a person who would cheat or betray me." Well, you see, I think it’s the same for Rin, and that’s why he changed so much when his brother abandoned him -- betrayed him.

✦ "I also love ambitious and purposeful people who are burning with their goal and know what they want. If they can also make a joke, whether it's sarcasm or a pun - great." Yes, I think you’ll be well off with Rin!

✦ I’ve always thought that humor says a lot about a person’s creative intelligence, and it’s a quality Rin recognizes. Someone who has wit and knows how to banter with their opponent at the right moment. I even think that if he heard you, it would make him give a slight amused snort, you know? And maybe, if we look closely, under a microscope… We can see the hint of a smile forming at the corner of his lips.

✦ "This is a bit special, but I get along well with traumatized people prone to reflection. Most likely because I can understand them well and it is easier for them to understand me and my traumas." Well, you’ll have plenty to do with him. I also think he’s the type you’d desperately want to save because his deepest wound (aka his brother’s betrayal) can be healed.

✦ … And at the same time, I see Rin as someone too proud to admit that he needs help. He even reacts violently when someone tries to approach him, like with Isagi. I think he can’t stand the idea of being pitied, and at the same time, there’s something very sad about him, you know. His inner child is calling for help. The fact that you can pinpoint this inner wound makes your relationship incredibly powerful.

✦ Rin is not, but I mean NOT AT ALL expressive about his feelings (except for his rage to win, I mean), but he knows very well how to make someone feel special to him. In my opinion, his love language is totally quality time and words of affirmation. It’s when he starts paying attention to what the other person is saying that you can tell something has unlocked.

✦ "I'm not particularly compatible with very active people" Rin is very active, but in his own way. Especially when it comes to his career and football. But outside of that… I see him as someone completely disinterested in living adventures or things like that, you know? I even think he spends most of his time at home taking care of his own business rather than being at shopping centers.

✦ "I can't stand liars and manipulators, as well as people who don't keep their word. For me, honesty is more important and I would prefer a serious, albeit painful conversation, rather than a 'pleasant lie.'" I don’t see Rin as a manipulator or a liar; quite the opposite. His honesty is so abrasive that I can’t imagine him trying to lie. In a relationship, even if he’s not very demonstrative, he’ll immediately express when something isn’t right. He actually expects the same in return and cannot tolerate those who act behind others' backs. I really think it’s a strong principle he stands by.

✦ "I would also not tolerate someone who does not respect me, considers me 'inferior' to themself and does not consider my opinion." Well, I think Rin tends to underestimate just about anyone who hasn’t proven themselves on the field or directly in front of him. This rule applies to any individual in the sport.

✦ Because outside of the field… Well, I think everything leaves him a bit indifferent. He neither esteems nor despises. If it doesn’t help him achieve his goals, then it’s useless.

✦ He’s still a perfectionist, and that makes him demanding and ruthless. But finding someone he respects makes him less harsh.

✦ "My little weakness is horror games, I love them, but I rarely play them myself, preferring to watch others play them." It’s crazy how so many little details about you resonate with Rin, even though we don’t know much about him! Were you destined for him from birth or something? In the Egoist Bible, here’s what we learn about him: "He spends his holiday either playing horror video games or immersing himself in horror movies."

✦ ...Yes, hello?

✦ It seems that words speak for themselves, but I’ll elaborate by saying: YES, of course, you both spend your days off in the room, you watching Rin try-hard the latest horror video games.

✦ In fact, he wouldn’t pay much attention to your presence, so absorbed would he be in his game, but hearing you occasionally gasp or comment on certain aspects of the game would remind him that you’re there.

✦ One evening, while he’s been playing for thirty minutes facing the screen, you’re there, sitting on the bed, flipping through books and glancing at the TV from time to time to see Rin making progress.

✦ At one point, a horrible jumpscare appears on the screen, and you let out a sharp squeak that makes Rin’s neck snap towards you.

✦ "Did that scare you?"

✦ He asks, even though technically, it shouldn’t be you getting the question.

✦ But as I said: words speak for themselves.

✦ "There’s nothing scary about it."

✦ (Deep down, he’s scared too)

✦ (Too proud to admit it, obviously)

✦ "You should try this level."

✦ Because he knows there’s a horrible boss in it that you really don’t like, and it makes him laugh softly to see you struggle in front of it.

✦ Laugh, I said laugh!

✦ Because these are the rare moments when you see him without his usual furrowed brow. Just relaxed, doing something he enjoys, with someone who doesn’t stress him out.

✦ And while you’re playing, struggling with hordes of terrifying zombies…

✦ … The "You died" screen flashes up, and a compassionate hand rests on your shoulder.

✦ You jump. It’s Rin coming to sit back down, with a tray full of snacks and drinks.

✦ "Don’t forget to eat. It’s late."

A word about your match: I also considered Ego and Sae, as you share many traits with them. I ruled out Ego because I think that in terms of compatibility and depth of relationship, it would have been complicated over time, especially between two intellectuals too focused on their own goals. I mostly see a professional relationship for you two. And regarding Sae: he’s the kind of person who can betray without a second thought or any remorse, and I think you, like Rin, would find that hard to swallow. So for me, the most relevant match is with Rin! Good luck managing someone as stubborn as he is fascinating.

© TIGREBLVNC 2024 | AUGUST '24 MATCHUPS EDITION.

[samsalami66]

AO3 Wrapped (author's edition!)

Tagged by my wonderful @seiya-starsniper , I swear mine's going to look so sad compared to yours, but let's do it!

in chronological order, the fics I posted this year:

No Honour Amongst Justice (WIP, The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Between Sweat, Turnips and That Bloody Cow (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

A Monster Would Not Care (Baldur's Gate 3 - Astarion/Tav)

Ball is Life (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Don't Go Kicking My Heart (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Red Card Plays (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Catching Up With The Past (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Early Ball For My Goalie (The Sandman - Destruction/Johanna Constantine)

A Canvas For Revenge (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Easy as Breathing (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Shooting for the Sky (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Cinnamon Warmth (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Too Good For Me (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Tangled Dreams (WIP, The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Rising Malevolence (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Stats:

Works Published: 15 in 2024, 28 total

Work subscriptions: 106

Kudos: 1,273

Comment Threads: 252

Bookmarks: 218

Hits: 8,861

Word Count: 67,301

Naww it's nice to see I've achieved so much this year! Best stats I've ever had! Let's hope 2025 brings more words and even more engagement!

Top 3 fics (of all years) by kudos:

Embrace me, my sun, as we eclipse (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Motionless (WIP, Harry Potter - Harry/Draco)

A Canvas For Revenge (The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

I'm not very surprised about the first two, but it's amazing to see one of the fics I posted just in November 2024 to be on place 3!! I also love that fic so I'm not mad at all :))

Top 3 fics (of all years) by word count:

No Honour Amongst Justice (WIP, The Sandman - Hob/Dream)

Motionless (WIP, Harry Potter - Harry/Draco)

Technically my number three is a fic I've co-authored and therefore I wrote less than half of it, meaning I'll just take the next one in line!

A Knight in Shining Armor and his angel (Harry Potter - Harry/Draco)

All of this is a sign that I need to write more longer fics, can't be that two of my longest fics are from 2021 X)

Top 3 ships of 2024:

Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling (13 works)

Astarion/Tav (1 work)

Destruction/Johanna Constantine (1 work)

Top 5 tags of 2024:

Alternate Universe (13 works)

Alternate Universe - Football (7 works)

Pre-Slash (7 works)

Fluff (6 works)

Found Family (5 works)

Hehe, I wrote too much soccer au, didn't I. I think I missed tagging some of the fics as Found Family and fluff though, they should also at least be 7, but whatever X)

Tagging @mid0khan @bazzybelle and @valeriianz in case you guys haven't been tagged already, I know I'm a bit late on this one.

[sheepboychibi]

fandom rp ask blog(s)?

ooouuuu my main oc rp ask blog is kinda dead lol, was thinking of turning it into a coffee shop or flower shop au blog but i might make that its own blog... however i also kinda wanna do fandom rp blogs too... but i dont wanna overwhelm myself cause im busy with school... got a few ideas, which one would you guys be more interested in? FNaF - theres a few ask blogs i could make with this one!! i could do one for PatPat (my silly janitor bot for security breach!), i could do one for Marley!! (silly bluebonnets au thing, but the other person part of that isnt on tumblr :pensive:), and i could do one for Mathew!!! (silly kid who's searching for his dad :D ik ive made a post about him here before x3) Undertale - lets seee uhhh i could do one for my UT oc Echo!! but for their normal human.. or for monster echo is the question.... ooouuu i could also do one for Flowey/Asriel or Chara!! they're my favourites in the main game :3 ough i also have an old undertale au me and a friend made, fusion!tale!!! NOT a ship au dont worry. i would crumple. but the main premise was, Chara and Sans' soul got fused, and Asriel and Frisk's soul got fused. may change it up because at the time of making it we made our characters based on who we felt like! i felt a lot like a mix of sans and chara (because i was lazy and liked chocolate and was called the "fudge king" at school cause i'd always get fudge icecream bars) and my friend chose frisk and asriel, i dont remember their reasoning behind it. but they rp'd chara the most and basically identified as them for the longest time so really their fusion shouldve had chara in it lol. now-a-days i feel like all 4??? chara, sans, frisk, and asriel (i mean.. hehe i took asriel's name for my irl chosen name x3) Dandys World - ehehe not really sure what i wanna do for this one, maybe an ask blog for my star-time astro design? mayhaps also one for razzy dazzy? (i love razzle and dazzle they're so cute) maybe i could make them into 1 blog? oough i also wanna make a dandys world oc but im not sure what i want them to be besides: Sheep, support or heal. and i have an idea for one of their skins, but i dont want it to be their main outfit x3, (sheep in wolfs clothing is the skin idea!) Cookie Run Kingdom - eeeeeee like DW im not really sure what i'd do for this blog hehe. my favourite character is Pure Vanilla though so definitely something to do with him!! or maybe a ship blog between the bar regulars (sparkling, herb, vamp, mint choco)? PHIGHTING! - not sure what i could do for this one either but i like medkit :3 and i also have a phighting! oc named puppet!! Pokemon - hehe could do one for my silly glaceon kid? or mayhaps i could make one just for the eeveelutions in general or all my fav pokemon, ive got a few jshdbfjh Danganronpa - could do one for my silly oc! or one for chihiro!! they're my fav character :3 My Little Pony - transmasc fluttershy x3 or mayhaps an oc if i can remember any of my old mlp ocs Squid Game - waaaa i've got a silly oc!! he's a silly rich boy gone broke. also become a guard (somehow x3 not sure how he does yet)

[lovely-showtimes]

soft moments . . . ♡ (part one.)

characters - honami, minori, akito.

type - scenario.

warnings - i wanted them to be the same length (ish), and akito's ended up being the longest somehow... and also the most filled with romance? i'm so sorry honami & minori nation

a/n - first writing post since my break! hope you all enjoy!! in case anyone has been wondering where i've been, here's a longer post explaining my reasonings for being gone. as i'm intending to do something for my favorite member of each unit, part two will be the last two characters im missing!

"Ah, Hona! This place looks nice, doesn't it?"

Your girlfriend turns her attention to the café you were standing in front of. She studies it carefully, putting a hand to her chin in thought.

"I've never eaten here before... Although, I think a friend of mine has spoken about it before." She glances at you and smiles softly. "Maybe we could try it out?"

You nod eagerly, taking her hand and leading her inside. The atmosphere inside the cafe was pleasant, with quiet chatter coming from the people sitting at the tables, the gentle clanking of cutlery against plates, and soft music playing through the speakers.

The two of you were quickly seated. The chairs were surprisingly plush and comfortable, making you feel right at home immediately.

Honami scans the menu, her face creased in thought. You can't help but think this expression is cute on her - then again, no matter what she was doing, you'd think she was cute.

"I want to try this sandwich," she says, pointing to an option on the menu. "It's something I've never had before, but it sounds tasty..."

She looks up at you, smiling curiously. "What about you?"

You hum in thought, scanning it for yourself. You weren't actually all that hungry at the moment, so you decided to get something light.

"Maybe their specialty soup. It sounds pretty nice, plus I haven't actually had soup in a while." You respond, leaning your chin on your hands.

Honami looks satisfied by that, nodding and closing the menu. Before long, the two of you had ordered, and were now eating your meals.

--

"Man, I'm stuffed." You sigh in relief, leaning back after finishing your meal.

Honami had finished shortly before you, despite the fact her meal was bigger than yours. She clasps her hands together, looking quite pleased. "Did you enjoy your meal, love?"

You nod eagerly. "Mhm! Your friend was right about this place, the food's good."

Honami giggles lightly. "Then I suppose we'll have to come here on dates more often then, right?"

You grin right back at her. "Mhm! Definitely!"

After you had paid for the food you ordered and were leaving, you gently nudged Honami's side. "Wanna get some apple pies on the way home?"

Her eyes lit up in joy, making your heart feel warm and tingly. "Of course! We'll share them together!"

Beaming, Honami takes your hand in her gentle one, and leads you away.

You hum a gentle tune to yourself as you set out all of the baking ingredients on the kitchen countertop. You glance over at Minori, who was reading the recipe carefully.

"Thats's everything, right?"

After some thought, Minori beams and nods happily. "Mhm! That's all the ingredients we need! Now we can finally get to actually making the cupcakes!"

You excitedly clap your hands together, bouncing on the tips of your feet. You've always dreamed about baking with your girlfriend... it seemed so romantic to you!

"Let's get to it!" You exclaim, causing Minori to also bounce on her feet and lean over the recipe.

"Okay... First we need to measure out the flour..."

---

The entire time the two of you had been baking, you had been hoping for some way to let you do a sweet romantic gesture for your girlfriend. Maybe when she's having trouble with something, I'll wrap my arms around her from behind and help her with it! Hehe, I'm sure that would make her swoon!

Despite your mini fantasies, however, no such opportunity arose. Minori was actually a really capable baker, which you probably should have guessed - she does work at a cafe, after all. You couldn't be too disappointed about this though, you had made a delicious batch of cupcakes! Well, you'd hoped so. They weren't done yet, they had just been put into the oven.

Minori hums a tune to herself as she starts putting the ingredients away. You had been a little zoned out as you watched her, before quickly snapping out of it and realising you should help.

You try to call out to Minori that you'll get the flour, but you don't manage to say it in time as you both pick it up at the same time and pull it towards yourself, causing the bag to tear a little and for flour to spill everywhere.

You immediately begin spewing apologies. "I'm so sorry! I should have called out sooner that I would get the flour, oh no..."

"No no, it's my fault!" Minori responds, shaking her head as she looks up at you with worried eyes. "I should have seen you were reaching for it and got something else! Oh, and now you're covered in flour..."

Well, you weren't covered. A little bit of it had gotten onto your face and hair, however. "Let me try and..."

Minori reaches up and tries to dust the flour off of you, but with her own flour-covered fingers, it only spreads the flour on your face.

"Ack!" Her worry grows, creasing her face further. "Oh goodness, I'm just making everything worse... I-I'm sorr-"

"Hey, it's okay!" You try to soothe her, clearly she felt more beat-up about this than you did. She probably thought that her bad luck was causing things to go wrong again. "Let's just put the flour away, and then start cleaning it up, alright? Plus, it's just a little flour on my face. I'll survive."

Minori still looks guilty, but your joking made her smile again. "Alright. And then we can pipe the icing, right?"

"Of course!" You beam. "But for now, let's get this all cleaned up."

You ring the doorbell and wait outside of the Shinonome household, hands clasped around the strap on your bag. You were fairly excited, as it wasn't often you actually came over to Akito's house. He usually came to yours.

Soon enough, Akito answered the door, his usual casual smile on his face as he opened the door.

"There you are. I was wondering if you were ever gonna show up," he lightly teases you, causing you to playfully roll your eyes.

"I'm a slow walker. Not my fault you live too far away from me." You walk past him as he shuts the door behind you. "Anyway, it doesn't matter, 'cause now I'm here and you have to deal with me for the rest of the night!"

Akito chuckles lightly as he leads you to his room, nudging you in the side. "Oh, the horror. How will I ever survive?"

You turn around and nudge him right back, slightly harder than he nudged you (although not nearly enough to hurt him). "Shut up, you love me."

Akito might have tried to nudge you back if you hadn't collapsed onto his bed, letting out a sigh of relief. "That's so much better... My legs hurt like hell."

Your boyfriend takes a seat beside you, eyeing the bag you brought with you. "Did you bring something to sleep in? That bag doesn't look very big."

You open the bag, shifting through it. "Of course I did! I made sure to put it out on my bed the night before so I wouldn't forget. Hold on..."

A few moments of silence pass. You shift through your bag with increasing worry as Akito's amusement at your shortcomings grows.

"I... It- It's here, hold on..."

Akito folds his arms, leaning forward. "I think you forgot your bedclothes."

"I might have... done that." You clear your throat and avert your gaze, your cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment.

Akito shrugs, getting up and beginning to root through his closet. "It's fine. I've got this hoodie that's pretty oversized on me, you should be able to use it just fine."

Your eyes light up in joy and you smile, eager to wear his clothes. "Thank you, 'Kito!! You're the best!"

You jump up and wrap your arms around him in a tight hug, causing him to yelp and almost drop the hoodie he was holding.

"Your hugs are weirdly strong for someone who can barely walk to my house," he sighs and hugs you back, smiling.

You narrow your eyes at him and pull away, pretending to be annoyed by that comment.

Akito laughs again at your misfortune (which you think is rather rude of him, to be honest!) before sitting down on his bed, pulling his laptop over and opening it.

Intrigued, you sit beside him, leaning on his shoulder to watch the screen. "What are you doing?"

"We're gonna watch a movie, aren't we?" He glances at you out of the corner of his eye before pulling up his streaming service platform of choice. "We always do that whenever I stay over at yours."

You'd kind of forgotten about that. But it makes sense - what else were you gonna do? Talk? Cuddle? Both at the same time? That sounded really nice actually, but it was probably too late for that now.

"Right. What are we watching?"

"A movie Kohane told me about. Apparently her and An went to go see it together, and they both liked it."

Sounded pretty good to you. You trusted An and Kohane's taste in movies.

Akito made sure the two of you were comfortable before putting the movie on, which included wrapping a blanket around the two of you.

The movie played on, but you weren't paying attention. The warmth of the blanket, combined with Akito's comforting presence and the feeling of his head resting on yours was making you feel pretty sleepy. You at least tried to pay attention to the movie, but your eyelids were getting heavy.

"Hey, 'Kito?"

"Hm?" He shifts his head slightly to look at you.

"I lied earlier," you confess sleepily as your eyes gradually close. "I didn't forget my bedclothes. I just wanted to wear your clothes."

Akito is silent for a few moments, before you hear the rumbling of his laughter against the side of your head. "I should've known. You were way too eager when I told you you could wear it. You're the worst, you know?"

You didn't respond. You had already fallen asleep.

Akito watches you for a few moments before stopping the movie and putting it down, pulling you closer and getting the two of you into a comfier position.

"Sleep well."

[pineapplefulfillseveryneed]

Sparks tour 2023

Posting this close to a whole year after the fact, but a tour this good really takes time for me to process. My chest was constantly exploding with how much I loved it all and I have no idea how to put that into words. (I've fully come to understand why Sparks themselves stick with a lovely audience photo after every show accompanied by a massive "THANK YOU!".) However I do want to preserve my tour memories with more detail as well, so at a risk of terrible writing... here's part one of me attempting to write it all down. I went to 5 shows (Manchester, Royal Albert Hall x2, Utrecht and Brussels) and I'll be making posts for all of them. (...I am unreasonably excited to talk about the show in Brussels, but all in good time.) This first post will probably be the longest one as I will be including my first reactions to all the songs, and will equally talk about Mr. B's set in detail :) (Spoiler alert: he too was absolutely amazing and contributed considerably to how great everything was.)

Show #1: Bridgewater Hall, Manchester (may 27, 2023)

Things had not gone smoothly at all for me with the ticket sale for this show, but it worked out amazingly as the result was that @where-did-the-groove-go got to be my concert buddy which was such an honour! It was her first Sparks show and my first one of the tour and honestly, you can't do much better than to start of with a Manchester show. I had been worried about how far away our seats would be but it was a lot closer than photos of the venue had made it seem and we had an amazing view: we were in the centre of the middle of the first balcony, the seats were on a slight slope so no heads were blocking our view. Both of us had decided not to listen to the album before the show as it had only been out for a day. It was a tough decision to make, but it was absolutely the right one :D Okay, onto the show!!

Opening act: Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer

I was so excited to see Mr. B! I've known about him for years independently of Sparks and had missed out on seeing him with the Hippopotamus tour, so FINALLY I was seeing Mr. B! He came on in an amazing outfit and graced us with the opening lines of... Here Comes Bob?! I was losing my shit! We're not just being treated to Mr. B, but we're treated to Mr. B playing Sparks?! I am not normally one to enjoy Sparks covers, but I was having the time of my life! I love this guy! He then went on to play the Mr. B classic All Hail The Chap! (my sister would be jealous hehe), which I loved so much! The audience was a little slow to catch on, but eventually got there with doing their part which I was happy about. This was followed up by once again familiar notes... Amateur Hour?! MORE SPARKS?? Are you kidding me right now, what did we do to deserve this! IT WAS SO GOOD! After which it didn't end, because then he went on to play Get In The Swing (which is one of my favourite songs of all time - I was being very normal and chill about everything). It took me a moment to grasp the fact we were being treated a full-blown Sparks medley, because it didn't stop there and he just kept going with the Sparks songs. The medley lasted nearly 10 minutes and my mind was blown at many points. He included so many songs that I had only ever dreamed of hearing live. I was having THE BEST TIME. He ended the medley by loudly singing "ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT IS SEX!!!!". I was laughing so much, it really was the perfect medley. The next song was one of his own songs that I hadn't heard yet but it had me chuckling so much, a song called Looking Forward To Leaving that he thought might resonate with the Sparks sensibility and their fans. (All too right, sir, all too right.) He finished his set with a cover of Suburban Homeboy and I couldn't have been happier. THE Suburban Homeboy supreme covering that song, Mr.B you have all my love. Sparks had yet to hit the stage but this evening was already made. (@dinkydiamond had seen the show the night before and like a good friend who doesn't spread spoilers, had only told me that at many points she had thought about how much I was going to love it. I hadn't even thought about the fact that that statement would include Mr. B's set to such a degree!)

Mr. B's setlist

(You may enjoy listening to the medley first before knowing what songs were part of the medley, so proceed with caution. I've added asterisks to the titles of the songs within it that blew me out of my seat the most.)

Here Comes Bob

All Hail The Chap!

Medley: Amateur Hour, Get In The Swing*, Big Boy, Moustache, What Are All These Bands So Angry About?*, Strange Animal*, Mickey Mouse, I Predict, When I'm With You, Missionary Position*, All You Ever Think About Is Sex*

Looking Forward To Leaving

Suburban Homeboy

_____

The music played in the hall was SO TENSE AND DRAMATIC. You just got to love and respect Sparks for their music picks to play in the hall before the show, they really know how to set the scene and get the audience excited and anxious in equal amounts. (A few shows later we learned it was film music by Bernard Hermann, which really was such an amazing choice. I'll come back to this subject later on with a bit more info on the songs in my write-up of another show.)

The big event! ~Sparks!~

HOLY SHIT their entrance music was so exciting and beautiful!!!! Russell's outfit! GOD YEAH. It also immediately became clear this audience was going to be AMAZING, everyone was so ready to go! RON WAS WEARING JORDANS!!!! (A dream of mine to see one day!!!) To a lot of very loud cheering, Russell proceeded to do his famed "So.... Manchester, may we start?" to start things off. Still the perfect opener, and I never tire of when So May We Start kicks off and Russell does the jump. The audience response was amazing, which was really fun to see from the balcony! I was really enjoying the lights, which also were especially great to see from our balcony seats! (Also Russell gets an award for performer of the year for pretending to look at his imaginary watch while singing "it's time to start".)

I loved doing the ah-ah-ah's with the entire audience for The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte, and it was so cool to see it live! The lights were absolutely excellent. But a gif will say what I loved the most about the performance of that song a lot better than words ever could, so:

Russell was being really sweet about how playing Manchester is always really great and then added it was the "first time we play this ProPEr THeAtrE, but uh we'll try to make due anyway". (Footage of him saying this exists and it's extremely blessed.) He spoke about the new album and asked the audience which number it is. The audience incoherently shouted some things back, to which Russell's response was to roast us all by saying "Clearly you don't know."

Eaten By The Monster Of Love was a totally unexpected treat that blew my mind! It's quite possibly my favourite song from Angst In My Pants and I love the synth line so much! So lucky!!! I loved Russell's dancing during Angst In My Pants, I had really missed his dancing and with that song it's always especially excellent. Beaver O'Lindy blew my brains out! I'd not expected that at all! The lights were amazing (the spotlight for the accordion parts, the portraying of the letters, light flashing on Ron from all sides - I've got footage of this and somehow it looked especially good this night), shouting along to B-E-A-V-E-R, Russell's falsetto... What a perfect song, it's got it all :D "Yes I knooow - WOO!" When I'm With You was so special, it's so blessed that they chose to play it. It's how we all feel about them, and what's better than to sing it back at them while they're playing it for us :) It's also a song that highlights Russell's amazing voice especially well, his voice absolutely kills me and I wouldn't have it any other way. I also loved those swirly lights! And what we've gone on to affectionately refer to as "Russell's swim dance". Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is is an absolute banger and it was my favourite of the 3 singles that had already been released before the album came out - I was so ready to go :D I loved Russell's moves for this song so much! Something that really stayed with me is that he actually spun around for "Take a look around and you'll understand". (Can I love him even more?)

The time arrived for the first new song from the album that me and @where-did-the-groove-go hadn't heard yet, which Russell introduced with these words: "This is another brand new song for any of you who feel like maybe you're not on the right course." *small pause* "It's a song that's called 'It Doesn't Have To Be That Way'." ...I was simultaneously having an out of body and in of body experience and already felt teary eyed, and the song hadn't even started yet. It hit me really hard, it was so beautiful and I am so grateful that this was how I first heard this song. "It doesn't have to be that way, OKAY". I was literally holding my heart throughout the whole song (which I was doing quite often during the show anyway but, I literally couldn't do anything else). Absolutely transfixed. "I'll pay for it, I'll pay for it". Thank you so much Sparks for having our backs <3 Genuinely one of the most beautiful experiences and songs ever. (We all spoke about it for many days, for weeks, even months after the show. And obviously I am still talking about it now. I've got my full essay on it elsewhere so you'll be spared of that here - I think you all understand what I mean anyway.)

BALLS hit me in the face like a brick! (Positive. SO VERY POSITIVE.) It's one of my current absolute favourite songs and I had been raving about Balls all the time for the last year or so! I would have never expected to hear it live, AND HERE WE WERE! I was completely losing my shit!!! It was intense, banging, and also beautiful. Also the lights during the instrumental bit?! The way the light filled the hall?!! R&R were both going at it with full energy, I couldn't love it more! Balls and shouting along to it with my fist in the air was one of the absolute biggest highlights of the show for me! (And there were so many highlights.) I am pretty sure there was at least one BALLS [insert fist emoji here] aimed in my direction which I am so grateful for! It was so cool! *synced up BALLS!* Hearing one of my favourite bits of lyrics live, "Do you want to wait, or crash the gate?", was just something else. Balls is one of THE inspirational songs of all time. At least to me. (After the show 3 friends seperately came up to me and shouted BALLS! at me before saying anything else and I love you all so much, you all really know me well [teary eyed smile emoji] That was really special to me. I've made some gifs of some of my Balls footage too, most of my footage of it is rightfully feral but some of it came out well: 1, 2.)

Shopping Mall Of Love remains such a win live, Ron is appropriately intense and cool (not that Ron is ever not cool - Ron is always cool) and I love the way he performs the song. Russell did some great dancing behind Ron too, and also walked around like a badass while singing his "Come, the shopping mall of love, come with me" parts. Award winning! Also THE CLAPS. Always, THE CLAPS. And Manchester audiences know how it's done [fire emoji] Toughest Girl In Town was yet another absolutely amazing and surprising setlist choice, so cool! What I especially liked was that I could see Sarah and Amanda losing their shit to it downstairs in the stalls, dancing so hard in their seats :D That really added to it - some big Toughest Girl In Town fans down there! (I am so proud of my friends.) Also.. THE TAMBOURINE!!! [heart emoji]

The next song that was new to us was Escalator, and I loved it SO MUCH!!! It had me immediately. The driving machine type of sound, the very clear and bright sounding synth sounds, Russell's escalator dance (!!!!! which he did a lot, btw, almost the entire song), the lights! This song just *feels* amazing, the lights going up and down - hell yeah. Russell's escalator dance really is everything to me. I was holding my heart the entire time. I live in this song now, this is now my new home. You can wake me up in the middle of the night for a live performance of Escalator. Any time. (To say it was an instant favourite is an understatement.)

We Go Dancing was similarly new to us, and sadly it felt like it went over most of the audience's head a bit because obviously very few people had heard the album so far and it's a hard one for catching the lyrics live. A very intense experience but also really cool, it's a super blessed thing to be able to hear songs live before hearing it elsewhere. After hearing it I was excited to find out later what the song would have been about.

*Ron plays piano motif* OH MY GOD BON VOYAGE?! YOU WHAT?!! Russell's vocals were literally everything and I loved all the arm swaying, it was such a sweet experience and another song that so clearly shows how awesome Manchester audiences are when it comes to Sparks. I loved this so much! Russell's moves for the "two of you, two of them" bit were absolutely *chef's kiss* too :D All of this was soon followed by me gasping yet again when the first notes of Music That You Can Dance To filled the hall! My literal reaction was OH MY GOD THEY KEPT IT!!!!! *proceeds to go nuts* One of The Live Songs Ever, a song I already loved before hearing it live, and possibly my favourite live song from the tour the year prior too. (I am pretty sure I screamed quite audibly and notably on the previous tour every time they played it, and I am happy to report I still feel exactly the same.) We all know this gets everyone out of their seats, and with this being Manchester it was especially amazing. It was so great to watch everyone equally going nuts from the balcony, party of all time! Russell's mic stopped working at some point though which was sad, but it only lead to him clapping and dancing harder. So mic be damned, it was possibly even more fun and special because of it.

You know there's little point in sitting down after Music That You Can Dance To (and I don't really want to sit down after that to begin with, if at all, but I am a bit self-conscious about dancing in the balcony), so we leaned on our seats for a second while the opening notes of When Do I Get To Sing My Way were played. It obviously *really* took off again rather quickly :D Unfortunately the mic problem came back but this time it was rapidly solved and Russell got to sing almost the whole song anyway, and I can not overstate how great it was to watch this whole audience dancing.

The party continued with The Number One Song In Heaven which obviously always wins, and of course included Ron's dance - HELL YEAH. However towards the end of the song Russell's microphone stopped working YET AGAIN. He was handed another microphone, which was equally not doing anything, and so he yeeted the mic. (all too right honestly, how many broken mics are you going to hand him?! That was not ok.) Of course this really sucked, especially for Russell, but this man's a true professional and made all of this extra fun for everyone: he went at it extra hard with the clapping and dancing and no one in the audience was going to let this ruin anything either. Russell gestured for the audience to sing the lines and we *really* did our best. ([salute emoji] On it boss!) It ended up being extra special because of it and we all still had the absolute best time. But of course at the same time it was rightfully upsetting. Once Russell had a mic that worked again he expressed his disappointment in not being able to sing the end of the song, which is one of his favourite parts. (Oof tech team, bad job.)

The show went on and Ron did a false start for This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us which is always a great time, people go nuts and then the song doesn't start hahaha. This audience was so phenomenal, it was the best time. And such a party when the song did properly start! Obviously there was a really large applause after that :) Which seemed to only stop because they started playing Gee, That Was Fun. It was so beautiful and touching. And really sad because indeed, noo, we don't want this to end! The standing ovation afterwards was massive and so very love filled. From my perspective even the bouncers seemed in awe with the audience. This audience could switch from going nuts to completely silent to a loving standing ovation in an instant, depending on what was happening on stage. It really was one of the best audiences I've been part of, I loved it so much! ^^ Ron and Russell very sweetly waved before leaving the stage :)

~Encore!~

They came back to a lot of cheering to which Russell said "Thank you - THE PARTY IS NOT OVER!" and we all cheered yet again, as A Love Story started. Another new song! WOOOOHH THIS WAS HITTING HARD! I loved it so much! And the lights with the massive X's were so cool! Absolutely a highlight! When My Baby's Taking Me Home started me and @where-did-the-groove-go yelled out in unison which is still so funny to me and also, all too right, all too right!!! It doesn't matter if you've seen it live a couple of times or if it's your first time - it HITS. The audience was once again utterly amazing, really heightening the experience. (ALSO, the rainbow lights that fades to white!)

During the band introduction Ron was still clapping for the other band members when Russell went "oh yeah..." and went to stand beside Ron and did a cheesy grin, "the guy who writes much of what you've heard this evening and what you've heard on albums 1 to 26", *Ron does a Ron-cringe*, "my big brother, Ron Mael." This started a RON RON RON chant which made me so happy :D When it seemed to die down just a tiny bit, Russell interrupted and said "He says thank you." asdjhds, sir XD He also added that Manchester shows are always amazing but "this one tops them all". [insert teary eyed smile emoji] (True though, it really was one of the best shows I've been to, if not the best one!) After that, All That was such a smiley lovely performance and I did quite a bit of internal screaming with how lovely exactly it all was and had been. (When I watch footage back I can't help but say "aww" out loud quite a few times. It really was so sweet.)

Something I hadn't realised as it happened but learned about later was that they were so happy with their bow - which was so fun. I had avoided spoilers of course but I learned that there was a bit of bowing-chaos in Oxford. So in Manchester there was a 'Wahey, we nailed the bow!!' moment after bowing XD (I made a post about that, it's too good.)

MASSIVE STANDING OVATION. Russell forced the microphone on Ron, saying "Here! He hasn't spoken on the tour so it's only cos it's Manchester", as he proceeds to evily walk away. This moment was so funny to me because Russell clearly knew very well what he was doing and Ron was just standing there smiling looking at this happening, with no chance of handing the mic back. His speech was wonderful and really sweet, starting off with saying that the citizens of other cities were going to hate him for this XD The audience was so silent while he spoke and didn't start cheering until he had actually finished speaking which was real nice. Russell wanted to grab the mic back after that but Ron didn't want to let it go yet, which was another moment I really enjoyed witnessing. Ron introduced Russell as the vocalist of the band, which had Russell standing there smiling really wide, after which Russell quickly grabbed the mic back. (I love them so much hahaha.) Russell asked to take a photo with "all of you fine people" (I am normal about this) and happily bounced after the photo was taken. The applause got going again and it was just the best. Russell blew kisses to people and the amount of love in the hall was just so damn high.

It felt like they didn't want to have to leave that stage and obviously we didn't want them to leave either. Everyone was just so happy to be there. What a show. What an audience. It really was the sweetest :)

Sparks setlist

So May We Start?

The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte

Eaten By The Monster Of Love

Angst In My Pants

Beaver O'Lindy

When I'm With You

Nothing Is As Good As They Say It Is

It Doesn't Have To Be That Way

Balls

Shopping Mall Of Love

The Toughest Girl In Town

Escalator

We Go Dancing

Bon Voyage

Music That You Can Dance To

When Do I Get To Sing 'My Way'

The Number One Song In Heaven (featuring Ron's dance)

This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us

Gee, That Was Fun

A Love Story

My Baby's Taking Me Home

All That

(I did not make it into the photo as I am behind Ron's head, but @where-did-the-groove-go and some other friends did make it in ^_^)

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~ Bonus: post show shenanigans ~

After the show we were hanging out with a little group of us in the entrance hall of the venue, quite a lot of our tumblr people and even some of our friends from Japan were present which was so cool! It was so very nice to see everyone, whether it was seeing again or for the first time! I went to say hello to Mr. B who was manning his own merch table to let him know how much I'd loved his set, and that covering Sparks isn't easy to do in my opinion but that he truly nailed it. He said he had been nervous about it and only had had 2 weeks to prepare. (Sir that's incredible!) He was really lovely. He said he hoped to see me again and I gave him the cringiest: "Oh, you WILL!" (With fingerguns.) (...I really am like this.)

Our little group decided to check out the artists entrance, but there were so many people there and so when Ron and Russell actually *did* come out me and another friend both instinctively hid behind a wall. (Normal behaviour. ...but we just really don't want to crowd them.) There was another round of applause, which was really lovely. I was very busy hiding behind that wall though so I am not the most reliable person to say what happened next, but Ron and Russell kept their distance and stayed for a little bit to wave and smile at people which was really lovely. When they entered their car to leave, the fans instantly parted like the sea to clear the road for the car and I love that our fandom is like that :) We all waved as they passed by, and then ...the car had to immediately stop in front of a red traffic light 5 metres away. I absolutely lost it, you just can't make this up XD (We left immediately.) It was so hard for our group to then have to split up after such a lovely evening, but attempts to sleep needed to be made and there was the journey to London the next day. (Not that we slept much at all, there was a lot to discuss and think about.) Luckily a lot of us would be going on to London so at least we'd all be seeing each other again soon :)

[wulfdreaded]

[okey!! i'm gonna be around in a lil bit and today i'm truly gonna try working through things. been kind of a rough week. death tw under cut but long story short, imma get to replies today <3 if all goes well, all of them hehe. if u wanna plot or a starter, lmk. <3 especially lance and ella could use more threads. well, always zeke, too.]

my soulmate died earlier this year (getting v close to 1 year and i still can't believe it) and with my birthday having happened a few weeks ago, gladiator (we were both pedro stans and insanely hyped for like a YEAR to watch it together) and ...today's his birthday. well, would've been. his best friend and i were on the phone last night cause he posted an audio+one of the pics i sent him of my love on insta and it autoplayed and hit me like really hard? like when you click on someone's profile and the current story suddenly GOES OFF.

yeah.... i wasn't expecting that. so we talked a lil while cause we both miss him so fricken much. i had like the longest cry and i feel a little lighter today. headache-y but lighter. he's been on my mind all week which is why i've been kinda awol. that and issues at home bla. anyway. he loved my grumpy pedro boys so imma sit my ass down and do replies, starting with zeke and lance i think.

[nekrosmos]

*burst into your room through your window* hi- *coughs glass shards out* I am here to say MANY things, positive things about your fic you wrote, but honestly it's more like my live reaction and my fav parts of the fic, it's gonna be long!!!! I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND READING ME YAP!!!

First of all, ∞/10, this is your first fic??? IT'S SO GOOD!! you got the atmosphere the vulnerability the softness the banter AND the good ol smut down, I love it, it was like I was joining them in the fishing trip because of how nice the visual was

ok from here on out it's all about my fav parts of the fic HEHE

the two had aged together is!!!!!!so!!!!!!!!freaking!!!!!!sWEET!!!!!they've been through it all together for the longest time!!!!!!

something about this just makes me change the way Im looking at Price, like..."he just love her" is such a deceivingly simple line but it holds so much weight. He may have "love" him but it was never a full attachment, rather just...embracing the love he was offered. He loved her because he could, not because of...everything el1se that matters. At least that's how I see it and GOD it hurts so good

ah hem AKSJDHAKS how did Nik not choke on air for that- anyways

Im getting my pitchfork for that CO (even tho the bastard is not around anymore) and the way Nik also got him?! *wails*

"there had been a lifetime of missed opportunities between the two" IS SUCH A GOOOOODDD LINEEEE GRRGGR YOUR BRAIN!!

🥺something about them giggling and being themselves just GRIPS MY HEART!!!!

it's the fact that the "friend" turned to "love" that got me feral I was SOOOO KASJHDKADJ hAPPY for em

chef au....

Nik the mAN YOU ARE!!! THE REST I COULD LIVE WITH!!!!GRRR!!! SUCH GOOD LINE!!! HIS NIK!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was walking when I read this part and basically fist the air in victory KASJHDKAJH also I love the train of thought here for Price...it's such a him thing to overthink

there is nothing wrong with that - URGH RIP MY HEART OUT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

again, another great line, frame this and smack it to my forehead because yes, that is Nik

I really really like in between the spicy scenes there are goofy scenes because...my god it just make everything lighter and more...how to say? real. In the moment and all, yk, it's so nice reading them laughing and stuff. But also this line "their romantic relationship wasn't born today, but weeks ago" again, chef kiss

very long ramble and Im surprised im allowed to type this much into an ask (ah heck it could get cut for all I know but) just know this fic was a lifesaver during my lunch break, had an extremely hard day and this helped a bunch.

Im looking forward to see your future fics if you do write them!!

Okay I'm officially smiling like an idiot and I think I'm gonna have to reread your ask many, many times because HOLY SHIT you just made me so unbelievably happy ​😭​😭​❤️​❤️​❤️​

It was my first fic with them !! I've been writing for a long time, switched to english a few years ago and have been writing casually ever since ,,,, But this was the longest fic I've ever posted and it was a nice challenge honestly !!

Also the way you pointed out some of your favorite scenes jdvlskjd,vpùidjvbpvj I'm losing my mind, I'm so happy ​😭​ I literally couldn't ask for better feedback !!!

I actually really like your interpretation of that line about his ex wife !! I left it pretty open so people can hc whatever they want :3c In my personal hc, he really did love her immensely, but he kept hurting her unintentionally by never being around, never giving her what she needed because of his work, etc. ​Just one of those "it wasn't meant to be" relationships. (Also, other random hc, but Nik was here at Price's wedding, he got along really well with his ex wife, but everything about it broke his fucking heart over and over again. Oops 💔)

And I'm so glad you pointed out the banters during the smut scene !! It's my favorite thing to do honestly !! To me, sex scenes don't have to be so serious all the time, I like when characters communicate while it's happening, I like when they're laughing together <3 And these two have so much shared history that it just makes sense to me !!

God, again, thank you so much for this, you really did just make my day Gomz !!!! You're absolutely lovely !!

[celli-ohs]

2024 Tumblr Wrapped

saw @suhnandmoon do this and thought 'omg me next!' bc yall 2024 was an exciting year for me on tumblr!! yall don't even know but I was shadowbanned for YEARS!!! i just thought I was having technical difficulties... oopsies! finally got unbanned so I could post and be active again lol 2024 was also the year I got back into kpop, everyone say thank you txt!! huening kai really pulled me outta the gutter of what was 2023 anyways cheers to all my fanfic/smau writers out there!! happy new year and looking forward to many more fics <3 <3

2024 fanfic stats!

number of works posted

2 series, 2 smaus, 4 drabbles, and 1 fic (she's unfinished tho... does that count?)

fics in progress

oh god.. 3... but i have so many notes on future wips tho (how yall feel about boynextdoor??)

total words written:

roughly about 37,000! lot less than i thought but i've been doing more smaus than i planned on

top 5 posts

nepo baby (nishimura riki x reader) the way this one blew tf up...

nepo baby pt.2 (nisihimura riki x reader)

11:40 pm (sim jaeyun x reader)

hubba hubba! (choi yeonjun x reader)

awooga! (choi soobin x reader)

most recent fic

yeowza! (choi beomgyu x reader)

longest fic

I Can't, I Have Rehearsal (she's my only written series/full fic so far)

favorite fic i wrote

ugh this is so hard. I don't know I don't knowwwww! Maybe hubba hubba! bc I feel like I got a lot better at writing/forming smaus and it was fun to create! but I also love love my kai drabble,, he's so silly and cute hehe

goal for 2025

i was gonna say get better at writing smut but honestly I just want to finish my two series so I can write more and more!!

fav fics i read this year

you plus me by @paarksunghoon

this changed my life. genuinely. I CRIED reading this. I am a different woman than I once was after reading this fic.

dance with me, baby by @suhnandmoon

oh this is hands down one of my faves and you know its good bc I was literally recommending/telling my normie friends about it lmaoo I cannot unsee loser heeseung now

home for the bitchless by @hannie-dul-set

i reread this constantly. i strive to be this chaotic. also i love pathetic men.

half return by @heesdreamer

oh i love me some softie jay like seriously i love himm, i lovE HIMMMMM

sundered by @tojikai

for my gojo lovers and anime enthusiasts i don’t usually do angst but this one had a chokehold on me!

idk who to tag as i don't have many moots but yall do this lol its fun and I think it highlights your accomplishments as a creator!! happy new year!! (also peep the newjeans bubblegum inspired theme hehe 🙈)