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#i think this is the first time ive posted her on tumblr
staracket · 3 months
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somEBODY SEDATE ME
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mg549 · 2 years
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god i wish season 2 of h2o wasnt unwatchably misogynist 
#my posts#h2o#put it on for bg noise. got to my least favorite episode ever of all time [irresistible]#the whole season is rly bad tho. charlottes entire character is jst. jealous bitch stereotype nothing else#like yeah yeah shes meant to be dislikable. do you maybe want to meditate on why they wrote her the way they did any deeper than 'on purpose#'? bc it was on purpose. im aware of that. pls think deeper.#this isnt a take ive seen on tumblr mostly jst in the youtube comments btw#like. the character setup of granddaughter of the original trio is so interesting. but they hate women love loses#also i HAAAAAAAAATE ash. everytime hes on screen i have to pause to go watch sth else for a minute he makes me so mad#girl you look like live action william dunbar Go In The Dark. his mra talking points are so. i haaaaaaate it emmas such a butch lesbian 😭😭#my less popular take is that i dont like zikki either sorry. i think theyre both gay. i think they are wlw mlm bffs who shop at hot topic#god. the straight coupling literally ruins any sense of like. individuality they had in the first season [which still suffers from misogyny]#why write character development when you can jst do the same relationship drama over and over again#also i hate how the color grading got darker and less saturated in an attempt presumably to market towards older kids. looks bad#this is why s2 never got a rewrite in my hallucination doc. i have Ideas but theyre basically literally removed from canon entirely#i had an iced coffee so now im Going#<-he cant handle caffiene well but loves the taste
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toastsnaffler · 5 months
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ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee
#love my roommate but urghhhh. sorry they dont make enough fictional female characters that interest u but u dont need to justify it to me#write your mlm its literally fine. sorry but ur not gonna gain my respect or approval by defending why u write more mlm than wlw#i dont care if u have equal amounts of each or not LOL we just have different tastes thats all there is to it#and I KNOOOOOOWWWW she writes femslash too im not denying that !!!!!!#most of my fav media is lesbian centric bc I have a strong connection to my identity as a dyke. so i gravitate towards things that explore-#that + complex relationships to gender + its social enforcement etcetc. and its easier for me to get attached to characters that i can-#connect with bc we have shared experiences or the world percieves us in similar ways or we percieve the world in similar ways etc#and shes said she DOESNT feel particularly attached to her sexuality in that way. so ofc shes not going to be looking for the same things-#in media and thats OKAY!!#literally have nothing against her writing gay men i like some fictional mlm relationships myself!! and its cool that she enjoys it#i just find it disappointing that we dont have much in common taste-wise bc thatd be more fun to talk abt#but thats why i come on tumblr dot com.. to talk abt fictional women w dykes who understand them like i do amen#and im happy to listen to her talk abt things she likes and projects shes clearly enjoying working on like thats awesome love to hear it#but sometimes its like shes trying to persuade me abt smth but theres nothing to persuade. i dont knooooow#like ik shes not trying to get me into her interests she already has plenty of friends who are. but theres no approval to win from me???#i think im just annoyed bc i feel like i cant rly talk abt the things im into w her bc she disliked them so much#and also annoying to be around someone who shares an identity w me but is clearly more uncomfortable w it than i am#maybe thats not even true actually the real reason im annoyed is bc ive had a long and exhausting week and im coming down from-#my first day on new meds and im soooo so so tired have i sajd that already. and my head hurts#and i want a fucking hug and im just projecting my lack of physical and emotional intimacy onto her bc she happens to be the person i-#spend the most time with. but thats really unfair of me its not her fault or obligation at all. ah i just want to shower and sleeeepp#and tomorrow day 2 of meds im gonna get so much shit done!!!!!!!! i hope.. i wanna finish drafting my comic too teehee#wouldnt it be so crazy if now im medicated i might actually be able to start and finish projects i reallyyyy want to do..#well i wont get my hopes up yet#anyway........#another day another 5 million tag rambling post complaining abt everything. and dont expect me to ever stop 😚#.diaries#literally why would i care abt the tastes of a girl whose fave character in tlt was naberius........#she rly had to pick one of the ONLY men and not even one of the particularly interesting ones. and shes not even straight???? her loss 🙄
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sheepgirlmaidtummy · 7 months
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man. this whole thing pisses me off because like. even when people talk about staff having a history of hating trans women, that this isnt the first time, without fail black trans women are forgotten to be included again and again. im not surprised this caused such an uproar when the popular white woman gets deleted. nobody should be, its been that way like forever. some cunt in my inbox got annoyed i called rita a sex worker (lol? okay)
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but i mentioned that in my post because so many black trans women have gotten removed from this site for their sex work alone, regardless of if it "broke community guidelines" or not, especially when tumblr live and the ads on this website are so fucking horny. idek what to say rn because like. this wont get as many notes as the posts talking about her will. the exploding car thing is gonna get more attention than the trans women on this site you dont actually care about listening to. ive been talking about how unfair it is to be a black tgirl on this site for years and nobody cares.
i love rita, we talked abit the other day and she's doing fine, dont get it twisted and think i hate her or some bs, she's a big fucking reason im not fucking homeless.
but part of why her deletion got to #1 trending on tumblr for multiple days in a row is that she's white
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hannieween · 13 days
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moonlight | lights out series
Joshua had not only fallen in love with you, but with the life he had by your side. He just had to learn to find the balance between the life he was so in love with and the life he had worked so hard to achieve.
✮pairings: yoon jeonghan x female reader x joshua hong ✮ genre: angst, fluff, smut [18+] ✮ aus: theatre director jeonghan, rockstar joshua, polyamorous relationship ✮ word count: 25.3k
› 🎧: limbo – dpr ian | horizon – i.m | hold me – hojean | cheese and wine – dpr live | different – woodz | love scene – baekhyun | take my hand – zerobaseone ‹ note: this song is so cute and perfect | ditto – new jeans | bad sad and mad – bibi → season one — season two — read more › smut warnings under the cut
✮ warnings: sleep paralysis, smut with plot, dom jeonghan, switch joshua, switch reader, alcohol consumption, slight mlm themes, slight dubcon: reader takes care of drunk hannie. reader is on birth control, smoking, corruption kink, dirty talk, unprotected p in v sex, blowjob, handjob, deepthroating, dacryphilia, fingering, creampies, tongue fucking, pussy drunk hannie, squirting, hair pulling, doggy style, rough sex, consensual recordings of sexual intercourse, a bit of cockwarming, vanilla sex, lazy love-making, nipple teasing, couch sex, dirty talk. brat taming: pussy slaps, spanking, edging, praise/degradation kink, light impact play, 1 slap on the cheek. pet names: bunny, beautiful, baby, princess, bad girl, filthy girl (hers), handsome, big baby, (jeonghan) babe, baby, handsome (joshua) ✮ author's note: this is incredibly self indulgent. also, these chapters are getting longer... having to write about two boyfriends at the same time is not for the text-limited posts on tumblr. i'm going to start posting my fics on ao3 too soon... so be on the lookout for that? hehe ✮ author's note 2: there are some instances where the word Bunny and/or Princess are with capital letters and that is to signify Y/N, ok? ok i'm terrible at explaining this .. i just don't like using the Y/N nomenclature. i feel like it pulls me out of the reading ✮ author's note 3: also thanks to @onlymingyus who helped me figure out some scenes! thank you baby 🩵 ✮ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.
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part iv
The candles were half-burnt, still lit, and sitting on the table with a forgotten charcuterie board and two empty cups of red wine. You had not finished cleaning the table when you got sidetracked by a serious conversation with your boyfriend on the couch.
A conversation that, predictably, ended with a heavy make-out session.
Joshua had to finish packing his suitcase, a thought that he pushed far back into the list of things he needed to get ready before he left for his first tour the following day. The number one priority to him though, was you. Despite the heavy topic of conversation that you both just had, he could match the passion of your kisses quite effortlessly.
It was his last night with you for what would be weeks. He was not sure when he was coming back exactly, since this tour was going to Midnight Haze’s first big tour.
This was a huge achievement. It was something he dreamed about when his band was just a local indie one. Now they were signed. They had their first studio album. And they were going on tour to visit different countries. A dream come true.
However, there was one thing holding him back.
Joshua never thought of himself as a romantic person. Not even remotely. He used to think he was content with being on his own. He never looked for love and made it very explicit with every partner he had. No relationships, no attachments. Only one goal, and he achieved that goal.
But in his journey, he never thought he would fall in laove. He was not expecting you. When he met you and accepted your proposal to have an entirely sexual relationship, he never noticed the warnings in his brain. Joshua blindly gave himself to you.
It shook his world to find you.
He wanted to stay in the coziness of the home you had given him. And to think that you were neighbors for years before you saw and talked to each other… he wondered sometimes what would have happened if you crossed paths differently, would he be here with you?
Involuntarily, his hands gripped your waist tighter, pulling you closer on his lap. You stifled a moan in his mouth, one hand cupping his chin, while the other had slid down his chest, clinging onto to his plaid shirt.
“Babe,” you paused, but he protested with a groan, his hand sliding up to the middle of your back to keep you from pulling away from him. “Josh,” you mumbled in between desperate kisses. “You have to pack your things, don’t you?” you asked, a giggle fleeing between your lips.
You knew already that he had to finish packing, but that did not stop you from starting the make-out session. And he knew you were just trying to tease him because there he was, all riled up, becoming more and more addicted to your lips.
“I have till five in the morning,” he responded with a hoarse voice, his hand left your back to meet your cheek. “Come here.”
The hand clinging onto his shirt flattened between his pecs. “I mean, but you also have to sleep, right?”
“I can sleep on the plane.”
Joshua heard an airy chuckle leave your mouth as his hand cupping your cheek motioned you in for another deep, heated kiss. It was his turn to smile into the kiss then your hand on his chest found the first button of his shirt, slowly and almost meekly undoing it with one hand.
But you broke away, a playful grin curving your lips. “Are you sure though? I can help you pack, and then we continue where we left off?”
He shook his head slightly, getting lost in the features of your face. It was going to be a while before he saw you again like this. Even if you were planning to visit him soon, he could not last a day without holding you. He had to make the most of the time he had left with you.
“I want to be close to you tonight,” he mumbled, holding your gaze. “I can pack later.”
“I just don’t want you to be late,” you replied dismissively, because you wanted the same thing as him just as badly.
Joshua smiled in full endearment of your worry. It was not unusual for you to worry about the smallest of things. “Don’t worry, I’ll just throw a few things in there and that’s it,” he shrugged, a knowing look appearing on his face.
You hated that at once, you shook your head. “Joshua, you need to do it right,” you said in a more serious tone, chastising him a little. But when his smile widened, scrunching his nose, you just pushed his shoulder.
“I will, baby,” he reassured, nodding with his head. “But only if you keep kissing me,” he challenged.
You returned the smile. “And if I don’t?”
He shrugged. “I’ll just finish packing and go to sleep,” he said nonchalantly.
You tried holding his gaze, but then your facial features broke into a pout.
“I’m just teasing you, baby,” he giggled, his eyes turning into half moons as he tipped his head back slightly.
You loved the sound of his giggles, sweet and merry. You could not resist yourself, grabbing his face with your hands to plant a kiss on his scrunched nose, catching him off guard. But he recovered quickly, grabbing your waist again to capture your lips with his own, to continue where you left off.
Your hand returned searching for the buttons of his plaid shirt, feeling the curve of his pecs in the process as you undid each button hurriedly, his shirt parting, leaving his chest in sight. Your heartbeat fluttered at the sound of his breathing hitching, and your hands slid beneath the plaid shirt, caressing the bare skin of his chest freely.
His pectorals bulged, and it was hard not to notice them lately. You knew he had been working out consistently as of late, so when your hands cupped his pecs, he bristled.
“Sorry,” you whispered sheepishly.
“It’s okay,” he reassured with a soft smile. “You can do whatever you want to me.”
“Okay,” you breathed out.
Having the green light, your hands explored his chest beneath his shirt, the pads of your thumbs teasing his nipples lightly. You felt his thighs tensing beneath you when you rubbed his nipples gently, cupping and massaging the soft muscle of his pectorals.
Joshua sat up straight, his hands securing you firmly, so you did not lose balance. In a wordless exchange, your hands slid from his chest to his shoulders and down his arms, thus pushing the sleeves of his shirt off him.
Once he was freed from the first piece of clothing on his body, his hands were on you again. Your fingertips grazed his veiny biceps, tracing a line to his collarbones and then cupped his neck, all the while kissing him heatedly, humming slightly on his mouth every time he outlined your lower lip with the tip of his tongue.
“Can I mark you?” you asked with a breathy tone, your fingers trailing down the soft skin of his neck.
Joshua knew why you asked. As his band gained more traction and recognition, their agency had to hire a PR management company, which instructed the Haze boys to be careful with their image.
“No, baby. You can’t,” he replied with a saddened tone. He hated to say no to you. He also hated to have this pristine poster boy front that he did not care for about at all.
“Mn, okay,” you breathed, not giving him the opportunity to see your full reaction, you leaned to kiss him again.
You broke away from the kiss, but rested your forehead on his, slowly littering him with pecks. One hand left the side of his neck, and Joshua tilted his head back to pay attention to the detour your hand was taking. You tucked your hand behind your back, grabbing the lace tying the back of your dress, and unravelling it with one movement.
In a silent sequence, Joshua gathered the long fabric of your dress that you had worn for the occasion by grabbing the skirt in bundles and pulling it up your body. Your hair got ruffled in the process, and you laughed meekly as your fingers removed the strands from your face and tucked them behind your ears.
But Joshua was caught up in the fact that you had been wearing absolutely nothing beneath the dress he had just discarded on the side of the sofa. He took one look at your naked body sitting on top of him, and then his eyes met yours. “Were you wearing nothing beneath that the whole time?”
You nodded with your head meekly, biting your lower lip to hide your smile. “I thought you’d appreciate it,” you shrugged.
Even though you had been together for months now, a blush still painted your cheeks red in utter shyness. From the night he met you, he has seen you naked, due to the nature of your relationship. It was natural for him to see your shyness then, but now, after all these months, he found it endearing.
“You know I do,” he admitted as you leaned over to latch your lips with his. “You know everything you do drives me crazy,” he purred in between kisses.
His hands explored your back, circling over to clutch at the curve of your waist, knowing that would bring your body alight. You pushed your chest to him, muffling a moan in his mouth, something he returned at once when he felt your pebbled nipples on his skin. A hand pressed on your back, squeezing you to his hard body.
Your fingers found his nape, sliding to tangle on the locks of his beautiful dark hair. He dyed it recently with a dark chocolate tone, bringing back the shadow of the man you met when he used to live right next to your apartment. Your fingernails grazed his scalp, bringing out a salacious moan from him.
The sound reverberated against your chest, sending a chill that ran thick through your body. It only egged you on, your fingers trailed down from his nape to his neck, caressing his skin ever so gently.
The delicate touches left tingling sensations in their wake, slowly driving Joshua crazy. His hands clenched the curve of your waist one more time before finding your ass, cupping it with a raspy groan from his part.
You pulled away from his lips with a rich smacking noise. “Not so fast,” you mumbled with a tilt of your head. A confused look shot through the features of his face, making you clarify: “Not until I get your clothes off.”
Joshua understood where you were going right away. His dark, glinting eyes marvelled at the sight of you, face still flushed, naked and on top of him. He nodded, letting you take his wrists and driving his large hands from your ass to your thighs, where they rested instead.
You grabbed his chin with your fingers daintily, leaning over to place a small peck on his lips. “Good boy,” you whispered. “Now let me get you out of those jeans.”
Completely enamored, he just nodded, heart fluttering uneasily in his chest when you flashed him a cute smile. You placed another kiss on the corner of his lips, fingers pinching his chin softly before you carried on with your task.
You raked his torso with the tips of your fingers, making him draw in a breath sharply at the sensation. “I like you so much,” you mumbled with an airy tone, looking at his figure, the curve of his strong shoulders and biceps.
In your admiring his body, you were not aware of his eyes doing the same thing, outlining every inch, every curve of your body on top of his. “You’re so hot,” you added almost aloofly.
“Ditto,” he mumbled, recalling the times you have exchanged a similar expression. He squeezed your thighs gently, bringing your gaze to meet his. There, in his eyes, you saw the love and adoration he felt for you.
You did not resist the urge to kiss him, so you did exactly that by closing the space between your lips.
“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” he mumbled sweetly, the statement bringing a light chuckle out of you, so he emphasized: “The hottest. I fell for you instantly.”
“Did you?” you smiled.
“Absolutely,” he whispered. “All grumpy at me in your bunny pjs,” he enjoyed the meek smile appearing on your face. “The prettiest… and the hottest.”
You rolled your eyes, but the smile did not disappear. “Shut up,” you mouthed, the aloofness persisted as you ran your hands on his chest, feeling his pecs up. Then he understood that you were entranced, your eyes lost on his nakedness.
“Make me,” he whispered, a knowing smirk spreading on his beautiful lips.
Your smile turned playful, giving him a chaste kiss. “Bad boy,” you whispered, propping yourself on your knees to scoot back a little and then he felt the tips of your fingers on his lower abdomen, making him draw in another breath.
He looked at your fingers tracing a line over the soft hairs of his happy trail, meeting the band of his boxers peeking beneath his jeans. Then he darted a look at your face, finding out that you were biting your lower lip in excitement and anticipation. Your eyes locked with his briefly, the corners of your lips lifting a little right before you tugged at the button of his jeans free.
Joshua smiled slightly when you gave him a rushed, feathery kiss. “Help me?” you whispered, climbing off him and the couch while hooking your fingers on the band of his boxers. He lifted his hips from his seat, as you pulled both his jeans and boxers down his thighs and got rid of them completely.
But instead of climbing back on top of him, you eased down on your knees between his legs. Joshua noticed your eyes widen slightly as you outlined his body, your hands caressing his meaty thighs. He leaned back on the couch, so his head was resting back as he watched you explore his body with your eyes, with your hands.
Joshua was a beautiful man. As you took in the sheer beauty of his body, bathed by the soft orange glow of the lights, you felt lucky of being his partner.
You caressed his thighs with your hands, as he cupped one of your cheeks, making your eyes fall on his bulging biceps and his well toned pecs, the curve that formed beneath them. A half smile tugged his lips when you licked yours.
You held his gaze for a moment, a fluttering sensation invading you in your tummy. Joshua was ready for you, the features of his face relaxing slightly when your hand circled his shaft. You touched him at first, his soft and veiny skin, pumping him gently from the base of his cock to the head slick with precum.
You spread the precum with the palm of your hand all over his cockhead before moving your fist up and down, enjoying the way his gaze darkened, his mouth parted slightly. His lust-filled eyes were trained on you as you leaned down, pressing your lips on the tip of his cock, kissing him playfully.
Joshua smiled lightly at the sight of you, using his fingers to push your hair away from your face. But the smile faded, just as you took his cockhead inside your mouth, licking his precum, humming slightly in delightfulness at the taste of him.
He released a small grunt through his parted rosy lips, you took him deeper inside your mouth, your hand moving to his base to pump him with gentle strokes at first. You bobbed your head slowly, eyes locked on his face to see him responding to you just how you expected.
Joshua closed his eyes, closing his mouth to breathe in slowly. His hand slid from your cheek to the side of your head to thread his fingers through your hair, following the movements of your head on his cock. “Faster… please, baby,” he mumbled faintly.
You followed suit, picking up the pace. You hollowed out your cheeks as you pulled your mouth up to his cockhead, swirling your tongue on his tip. His body tensed on the couch, his nose scrunching as he groaned, gritting his teeth. “Fuck… yes,” he sighed. “Just like that.”
A fluttering sensation invaded you, chest swelling with pride when you heard his raspy, deep grunts escaping him. His fingers coiled around your hair, and his other hand joined on the other side of your head, helping you move on him as you took him in deeper.
Silence had flooded the room, only interrupted by soft, smacking noises and the deep grunts from Joshua. Occasionally, he would cuss under his breath, but his face remained relaxed, lost in the sight of you taking his cock in your mouth expertly.
Joshua loved watching you like this, he loved that you knew every step to drive him absolutely crazy. It was taking everything in him to stop his hips to thrust forward. However, you read his movements, pausing before attempting to take him ever deeper into your mouth, gagging around him as his cockhead reached your throat.
“Careful, baby,” he cautioned, retaking the control. You followed, pausing for breath before you tried to deepthroat him again. He saw your eyes start to water, and his thumb reached to scoop a tear rolling down your cheek.
It was your eagerness to take him whole what made him tip his head back, his throat bobbing as he swallowed a deep moan. “Fuck,” he breathed, feeling the muscles of your mouth relax and contract around his cock. “You’re taking me so well, baby.”
Your movements slowed down slightly and became smaller now that his cockhead reached your throat, you retreated your head slightly and pushed again, drool dripping down his shaft and onto your fist. You kept pumping him, though languidly, all your focus was on your mouth on his cock.
“Oh god,” he moaned, opening his eyes to the sight of you deepthroating him, sucking him whole. “Fuck, I’m coming,” he rasped.  
But then you stopped, carefully pulling your head back. But the change made your eyes water, you coughed a little, breathing through your nose.
His mouth hung open, frowning in confusion. “Why did you stop?” he asked, watching you wipe the drool from your lips with the back of your hand.
You grinned, climbing back on top of him to place a chaste kiss on his lips. “You’re coming when I want you to,” you mumbled sweetly, booping the tip of his nose with your finger.
“Baby,” he rasped chidingly, elongating the final vowel of his protest. But his large hands welcomed you, grabbing your hips as you straddled him.
You giggled, kissing his protruding lower lip as he pouted at you. “You’re cute,” you teased.
His studded eyebrow jumped slightly; you should have known better than playing with him like this. “You think so?”
You nodded with your head, a satisfying look glinting in your eyes. “The cutest baby boy,” you purred, bringing a hand on his nape before kissing him. Your other hand searched for his throbbing cock, blindly guiding it to your sopping wet pussy.
A deep moan vibrated in your mouth when you sank down on him, pausing yet again but now to savor the slight painful but delicious stretch of his cock in your walls. Joshua groaned, dropping his head on the headrest of the couch, his hands kneading on your thighs as if that helped him resist his orgasm.
“Look at you,” you cooed softly. “You look so good like this,” you added, toeing between mocking him and appreciating the sweet features of his face riddled by pleasure.
Joshua gulped hard. His gaze, darkened by lust outlined the features of your face as you rolled your hips on his cock. He could not lie, he loved when you took control, he loved to see you grow confident on top of him.
But with one, sudden movement, he thrusted you onto the cushions of the couch. The non-existent heed for your body made you yelp in surprise. He propped himself on his knees, grabbing the back of yours to press your thighs onto your chest.
“Joshua–,” you tried protesting, your face broken in utter confusion when in seconds, he had torn through your dominance like ripping through a piece of paper.
You braced yourself before it happened. Joshua brought down his hand on your exposed cunt, slapping it firmly. Both excitement and pain shot through your body, making you cry out a loud moan that sounded lewder than anything.
Joshua heard the rawness in your moan and understood right away that you had liked it. He tilted his head to one side, smirking as he asked: “Want more?”
You nodded, a glazed look in your eyes before you closed them briefly. Joshua brought his hand down again, right on your sensitive clit, noticing your arousal smeared on the pads of his fingers. He pushed his fingers between your wet folds, to rub circles on your swollen nub.
You flinched when his hand slapped your cunt, but the sound coming out of your mouth did not convey pain. Your face scrunched up in pleasure, your eyebrows knitted, and glossy lips puckered. “More.”
Joshua stopped rubbing your clit with his fingers, raising his hand once more to bring it down with a harsher slap, enjoying the whiny sound tearing through you. He continued to rub your cunt, getting unbearably harder when he noticed the arousal pooling in your entrance. “Filthy girl,” he whispered, a smirk playing in his lips.
“More,” you demanded, your tone dropping to a question.
But Joshua had removed his hand from your throbbing pussy, his fingers encircling around his shaft, pumping it to smear your wetness all over himself. “You’ll take what I give you.”
He then placed a hand on the arm rest above your head, lowering himself on your body as his hand grabbing his hard cock drove it to your entrance, easing himself inside you in one go, filling you up to the point of bringing you to tears.
An airy moan escaped you, and it was not only because his weight was on top of your legs, crushing your chest almost. It was also feeling his girthy cock stretching your pussy, reaching a spot inside you that had your walls clenching around him.
“F-fuck,” you gritted, pushing your head back onto the cushions of the couch. “Joshua,” you whimpered, grabbing his shoulder with one hand. “S-so deep.”
Tears spilled when you blinked, bringing out a wolfish grin from him. “Who’s cute now,” he purred, starting to slam his hips against you with a fast, near animalistic pace. As much as he loved seeing you try your hand at domming him, he loved even more to be the one in charge.
The depth of his hard thrusts became addictive, like fire consuming you rapidly. You writhed beneath him; the tip of his cock reaching a glorious spot inside you every time he slammed his hips against yours.
“Oh god, Josh…” you said between deep breaths. “I’m coming.”
Joshua smiled like this was a game that he just won. But he nodded, kissing the inner side of your knee. He revelled at the sight of you like this: you were crying, stirring, and whining loudly as your orgasm washed over you, making your walls clamp erratically around his cock.
But he kept thrusting inside you, loving the wet sounds that came from your pussy, the way your moans turned airy and raspy. Your eyes had rolled back, your mouth fell open, and he committed to memorize that image of you.
“Joshua… Joshua…” you whimpered, over and over until you were completely breathless.
He eased one of your legs from your chest, wordlessly commanding you to wrap it around his waist, lowering his hips on you, burying his cock deep inside you again. You moaned languidly; eyes closed as you savored the gentle aftershocks of your orgasm.
Joshua was lost in you. In the midst of it all, the faint reminder that this was your last night together in some weeks made his heart clench. He leaned his head down to press his lips on your forehead, the tip of your nose and your lips.
“I love you,” he whispered, unable to bring his voice any louder.
You hummed in response, opening your eyes to see his face. “I love you, Joshua,” you responded, cupping his cheek with one hand to kiss him deeply.
Joshua rested his forehead on yours, sliding a hand under your nape, his fingers tangling in your hair. He retook the brutal pace of his thrusts, feeling your mouth fall open and he blindly mimicked you. Now you were breathing on each other’s mouths, moaning in unison.
Your hands circled his back, holding onto him for dear life as his thrusts knocked the air out of your lungs. “Baby, don’t,” Joshua rasped when your fingernails started digging on the soft skin of his back, bringing out a raw moan from him. “Oh, you fucking brat,” he groaned in both pain and pleasure as you dragged your fingernails down his back, piercing his skin.
You giggled impishly, and he responded with a grin. You removed a hand from his back, cupping his cheek to pull him into a hot, sloppy kiss. He groaned in your mouth, egging you to kiss the underside of his jaw, the curve of his neck, his throat.
“Fuck,” he whispered when you suckled the sensitive spot on his neck you liked so much. But he did not protest or stop your rebellious marking of his neck and back.
You brought his lips back to yours, kissing him chastely. “A little reminder,” you whispered. “So that everyone knows you’re mine,” you traced a circle with the tip of your finger around the marked spot on his neck.
Joshua moaned, pushing his hips desperately against you. “Leave more,” he gasped. “Mark me,” he whispered out his plea to you, turning his head so you could have an easy access to his neck.
The thought of you being possessive over him drove him crazy, pushing him to lose control on top of you. He rolled his hips against you, moaning salaciously as you marked him up from his collarbone to his throat.
“Fuck, baby. Ah. God, fuck,” he squeezed his eyes, scrunching his nose as his thrusts became sloppy. “I’m coming,” he whispered, dropping his head on your shoulder. He moaned repeatedly, fucking his cum deep into your walls.
He pressed his body on yours gently. You wrapped your legs around him as you both regained energies, enjoying each other’s warmth.
You brought a hand to caress his nape, your fingers threading gently his hair. His face was still nuzzled in the curve of your neck, breathing raggedly on your skin. Then he moved his head and rested it on your chest, humming tiredly but relishing in the gentleness of your touch.
Your hand slid from his nape, now caressing gently over the scratch marks you left. A lazy smile drew on your face when you ran your fingertips over the bumpy lines along the line of his back.
Joshua heard you smile, lifting his head to press your lips with his own in a tender way. “Bad girl,” he whispered playfully. “You’re gonna get me in trouble.”
You arched an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah? I didn’t see a lot of resistance from your part,” you teased.
“How could I resist? You have a very effective method of persuasion,” he smirked, nose wrinkling when you chuckled.
“Do I now? Since when?” 
“Since forever,” he rolled his eyes, laughing at the way your voice raised higher. “And you’ve known it since day one.”
“Mm, I don’t think I did,” you mumbled with a sing-song tone. You did that whenever you flirted with him.
Joshua gave you a sweet smile, one of those that melted your heart. “No? Well, you’ve had me wrapped around your finger ever since.”
Your face took on a more serious look, your gaze fell on his lips. You wished to make this moment longer, to postpone his departure. A dark part inside you, one dominated by greed, wanted to ask him to stay with you.
“I love you,” you whispered, searching his eyes again. You tried to convey with those simple words that you were going to miss him, that you wanted to stay with him in this moment forever.
Joshua read your face, noticing that your mood had dropped a little. “I love you,” he replied, thinking of what to say.
And then, a loud knock came to the door.
You jerked in alarm beneath him, drawing in a sharp breath. “Oh god,” you whispered, stretching your neck to look at the door.
But Joshua did not move.
“Josh, someone’s at the door,” you whispered, your body recoiling again when the knock became louder.
“Pretend we’re not in,” he mumbled, nestling his head on your shoulder again.
You turned to look at him in utter disbelief. “Babe,” you tried to move him with one hand. “Move so that I can see who is knocking.”
“But we’re not in,” he did not move an inch.
But whoever was at the other side of the door was not quitting either, knocking once more with urgency.
Joshua groaned in complete annoyance, pushing his body up with his hands, peeling himself off you. “Wait here,” he commanded, a hand reaching for the blanket on the arm rest and draping it over your body.
You watched him curiously as he put on his boxers and walked up to the door, yanking it open and peering out to the hall. Holding the blanket to your chest, you propped your elbow on the cushions of the couch, trying to get what was happening on the exchange.
Joshua appeared to nod his head, stepping closer to the doorframe as if to cover the interior to the apartment to the eyes of whoever was standing in front of him. He nodded once more, lifting a hand to receive something and closed the door with a sharp move.
He rolled his eyes, exhaling softly as he discarded a piece of paper on the table, walking back to you.
“Who was that?” you asked upon seeing his face scrunched up in annoyance.
“We just got a noise complaint,” he announced. “Another one.”
Your heart dropped. “Why?” you demanded, trying to sit up on the couch but you stopped yourself with a horrified expression: “We can’t have more than two, we’ll get an eviction notice.”
“I know, I know,” he muttered softly, sitting next to you on the edge of the couch. “Relax, baby. We could look for another apartment somewhere else,” he shrugged with ease, but you could tell he was still annoyed.
You gaped at him. “What?” you uttered.
“By the looks of it, they want us out of here,” he explained solemnly.
“Why do you say that?”
“They had a noise complaint printed and ready to deliver it,” he exhaled, pushing his hair back with one hand. “Seems like they were waiting for the perfect moment to do it.”
You eased back, sighing with him. “God,” you frowned. “Well, I don’t like that. We weren’t being loud!”
Joshua arched one eyebrow at your protest.
“Not like other times,” you mumbled sheepishly, but your eyes wandered into the nothingness. Your mind had started to fly through all the possible routes of action.
“Hey,” he mumbled, yanking you away from your thoughts. “It’s okay. We could start looking for an even nicer place, with bigger rooms…” he said, his tone fading off.
“Mmn, yeah,” you replied, not noticing that he had thought of something else.
But he recovered swiftly, patting your tummy gently. “Let’s not think about it right now, yeah?” he suggested, giving you a soft smile. “Let me take care of you.”
He rose to his feet, pushing the blanket off and with great ease, he scooped you from the couch, carrying you in his arms bridal style. You squealed in surprise, but you welcomed the nice act, smiling at him softly.
In the shower, he noticed your dreamy eyes on him. “I wonder,” you asked, bringing a finger to connect the marked spots on his neck and collarbones.
“What?” he asked, finishing to rinse the shampoo from his deep brown hair.
“What your fans might will say about these,” you mumbled, finishing the trail of connected lovebites, the last one sitting bellow his collarbone.
“There’s already a lot of speculation,” he said, grabbing your finger from his chest to kiss the pad.
“Oh? What is it about?”
Joshua shrugged with ease. “It’s mostly a debate between people that think that I have a partner and people that think that I’m a serial fuckboy.”
You snorted at the last bit of the sentence.
“Is that funny?” his studded eyebrow twitched slightly.
“A little,” you mumbled, slipping your arms around his neck. “Serial fuckboy,” you teased with a grin. “If they only knew.”
He rolled his eyes at your teasing. He closed the water tap, being so that you both had finished cleaning up. His hands circled your waist, keeping a hand flatly pressed on your lower back. “They’ll go crazy with their speculations when they see these,” he pointed with his nose to his chest.
“That just comes with the job, right?” you mused, looking at him almost dazedly.
He leaned his face to yours, water dripping down his forehead and the tip of his nose. “I just don’t want them to snoop on what we have together,” he shrugged lightly.
“What if that happens?” you asked on a more serious tone.
His beautiful dark eyes read your face intently, but he just shook his head lightly, placing a kiss on your forehead. “It won’t happen,” he said, his tone lace with promise.
Then he removed his arms from your body, reaching behind you to grab your bathrobe, offering it to you. “You’re pretty sure of that,” you observed as he helped you put the robe on.
“What are you thinking? Do you want to plan?” he offered, darting a look to your face.
You could tell that the topic of conversation made him uncomfortable. He didn't like the idea of the world knowing about you and, quite possibly, ruining your writing career, in which anonymity was a major part.
“I just think that I want to be ready if they find out about our relationship,” you said nonchalantly, exiting the shower and went ahead to towel dry your hair. “If it comes to it, we can handle it. Who knows, maybe it won’t be that bad,” you suggested offhandedly, walking out of the bathroom.
Joshua followed you to the bedroom after wiping himself with his towel. “Wait, you’re not worried about your anonymity?”
“I don’t know, Josh,” you sighed, sitting down on the foot of the bed. You clasped your hands on your towel, pausing pensively. “I think that it’s best if we’re prepared.”
Joshua walked up to you slowly, making your eyes swivel from the wall of the room to meet his gaze. “Why don’t we leave the plans for another night, mn?” he suggested, bringing a hand to your cheek, cupping it briefly.
You nodded, taking in a deep breath. “Alright,” you said.
He pulled a pair of clean boxers up to his waist and turn around to continue packing his bags. You noticed he did this in a near mechanical way, by grabbing the clothes that were already folded from the closet. You drew your legs in and hugged them as you continued to see him finish packing the first of his suitcases.
As Joshua turned to continue with his task, it was then when you noticed his back, red with the marks you left with your fingernails, some of the scratches looked thicker than others. “Oh my god, I marked you up so bad,” you giggled shamefully, bringing a hand to cover your face.
Joshua gave you a confused look, but then he understood. “Is it that bad?” he walked over to the full body mirror you had on one corner of the bedroom, turning to peek to his marked up back.
His eyes fell on you, sitting cross-legged on the bed, one hand covering your face in complete shame. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled.
“It’s not bad, baby,” he decided, turning around to take a few steps toward the foot of the bed where you still sat.
He planted a knee on the edge of the bed, followed by his hands at the same time you laid back, moving your legs for him to slot his body between them.
“I kind of like it,” he said, pressing his lips on the tip of your nose. “I like it when you act all possessive over me,” he smirked. “And I remembered that you have a thing for pain during sex.”
You let out a muffled sigh. “Josh! I don’t think I do,” you countered, but your tone sounded so insecure that it had you smiling shamefully.
“Mn, you bratty little thing, did you like to inflict pain on me?” he purred, enjoying the flustered look on your face. He did not wait for your answer, because he already knew it. “If it makes you feel better, I liked it too.”
“Why don’t we do it more often?” you pried, sneaking a look at his eyes that had your tummy clenching in nervousness.
Joshua had to pause for a second to gather his thoughts. “It’s not the thing that I’m more inclined to do,” he said pensively, his eyelids hooded to look at your face. “And also, I still don’t know how far I can take you.”
“Well then we should try it one day and see,” you offered him a meek smile.
“If you want to, baby,” he whispered, planting a light kiss on the tip of your nose. “Let’s add it to the list.”
Okay, you breathed, noticing the heavy-lidded eyes starting to look drowsy, even his speech had started to become slow and slurry. “Let’s go to bed?” you offered.
Joshua nodded his head slowly. “Let’s go to bed,” he accepted.
You moved on the bed until you reached the fluffy pillows. Scurrying beneath the covers you patiently waited for your boyfriend to occupy his space in your bed. You watched him get beneath the bed sheets beside you, a soft smile drawing on his face when you scooted to him at once.
You had four hours until he had to go to the airport. You saw his phone screen lit up, showing the picture he had of you as his wallpaper. He made no note of your eyes shifting from his phone to his face, he was deep in thought.
“Nervous?” you whispered.
He nodded again, much as if it were sinking within him that these were his last hours of normalcy before he was launched back into the wild-paced life that is being a rockstar.
“You’re going to do great, baby,” you said with a reassuring tone. “I’ll be here cheering you on, watching you.”
A warm feeling poured over his heart. “Once I learn when I have a break, I’ll come see you,” he promised, the feeling in his heart making his tone quiver. “Or I’ll fly you in wherever I’m at.”
Joshua hated how repetitive he sounded. He said this right before he left for his first tour. And you wondered, inevitably, if this time would be different.
“Take things easy,” you mumbled, your speech had started to sound languid too, dragging the words. “I don’t want you to stress yourself over things you can’t control, Joshua. And those you can, take them one at a time.”
Your boyfriend had to pause and let your words take form inside his mind. When he knew what you meant, he nodded. “I’m trying,” he said faintly. He knew you meant well. He did. But he could not help but feel a deep wave of shame wash over him. “I’m trying to get better at this.”
Your eyes dropped. “I know, babe, that’s not what I meant,” you tried to justify, but it was too late. “I–I just mean–I don’t want you to stress yourself too much.” 
He pushed the feeling deep down and nodded. “I won’t, baby. Don’t worry,” he breathed out the words. He shifted under the covers and onto his back. “Come over here,” he motioned you to his chest, and you lied your head on his heart.
You felt his hand searched for yours, and you instinctively held his fingers. He brought your hand to his lips, kissing the tips of your fingers one by one to then kiss your knuckles.
You raised your head a little, planting a kiss on his cheek. “I love you,” you mumbled, drawing his gaze from the darkness to yours.
“I love you,” he mumbled back, pressing your lips with a featherlight kiss. “So much,” he emphasized.
It broke your heart to hold back your true feelings about him leaving. Joshua already looked sad. As though he were mere minutes to leave, not hours. You lied back on his chest, his heartbeat strumming under your ear, bringing you to a quick sleep without you even knowing.
Joshua did not want to leave either. And that thought he carried onto his dreams.
His sleep was interrupted abruptly. A tight feeling trying to choke him was what drove him to snap his eyes open. As his mind gained some lucidity, the bits and pieces of his dream stung his eyes, the tight feeling coiling in his chest giving way to a broken sob.
“Joshua?” you raised your head right away, bringing a hand to touch his cheek. “What’s wrong? Babe?”
It took him some time to realize that he could not move, fear set in instantly, but he held onto the touch of your hands, and the sound of your voice calling his name. First, he blinked the tears away, letting them go unwillingly but his eyes found you, then his hands.
“Joshua, answer me,” he heard you plead, the worry in your tone palpable.
“I’m okay,” he rasped, gulping hard before reassuring, more to himself than to you: “I’m okay.”
“Tell me what’s going on,” you said, not buying his words.
Joshua frowned before he could even understand what you were demanding. He closed his eyes briefly, his eyelids trembled over the tears that threatened to brim in. Fragments of what he saw last flooded his mind and he shook his head, remembering nothing.
“I think it was just a bad dream, baby,” he reassured. But the broken feeling in his chest persisted.
Your thumb caressed his cheek. “You can talk to me,” you mumbled, and when his eyes found your face again, he saw the worry he had heard in your tone.
“I don’t remember anything,” he swore, and he saw your eyes dim. “Let’s go back to sleep.”
You nodded, placing your head back on his chest. Your hand lowered from his cheek, caressing his bare chest.
Joshua heard you release a sigh, and then your body eased back on top of him. The caress of your hand ceased slowly, and then he knew that you had fallen asleep again.
It would not be long before he came back. He would go away from some weeks, then he would come back and leave again; he would have opportunities to come back home to you. To sleeping next to you. Being with you.
But the prospect of not having this frightened him. Joshua had not only fallen in love with you, but with the tiny, quiet life he had by your side. He just had to learn to find the balance between this life he was so in love with and the life he had worked so hard to achieve.
Joshua woke up again to the sound of his alarm, jolting at the frantic stammering of his heart, his fist instinct was to reach for his phone and shut the beeping alarm off.
His arms encircled you again, it seemed as though you had not changed positions, your head was still lying on his chest. You inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of his skin, humming sweetly as his hand found a way beneath your t-shirt, caressing your back.
Not a word was spoken. But there was an unmistakable feeling lingering in the air that you both tried to push away. Joshua met your cheek with his hand, at the same time that you craned your neck to find his lips with your own.
You brushed his hair back with your hand, a low moan coiling in the back of your throat when he wrapped you with one arm, effortlessly pulling your body on top so your front was fully flushed with his.
His hand moved from your cheek to meet the curve of your waist, sliding down to grip your hips from both sides while you moved your knees on each of his sides, straddling him. Your hands cupped his beautiful face, deepening the slow and sloppy kiss.
Both of you hummed at the same time, Joshua’s low, raspy tone only caused you to sit harder on his lower tummy. His hands helped you move down on him, now pressing your crotch to his, swallowing a moan as your tongue outlined his lower lip.
“Josh, we don’t have time for this,” you whispered, a tiny giggle making your words quiver. “We’ll be late.”
“I don’t care,” he responded gruffly, his hand was already searching for your panties, pushing them aside with one finger as you lifted your hips.
Your hand pushed his boxers down, grabbing his cock by the thick shaft. You rolled your hand once, pumping him a couple of times before easing yourself down on him. A strangled moan came out of you once you bottomed out on him.
“Alright?” he whispered, hearing your groan, and recognizing that it was not entirely from pleasure.
“It’s okay,” you replied, bending over to rest your forehead on his. “I’m just a bit sore from last night, that’s all.”
“We can stop,” he offered, his hands tightening their grip on your hips.
You shook your head. “Just give me a minute,” you mumbled shakily.
Joshua nodded slightly. “Kiss me,” he whispered, moving his hand from your hip to your cheek, bringing your lips to his own.
He moaned as your walls tensed and loosened around his cock, your warmth covering him down to his hilt as your arousal started to drip down. Just to feel him hard and buried deep inside you turned you on so badly you kissed him harder, making him moan.
“You don’t have to move,” he rasped when he felt your hips swaying up and down. “We can stay like this.”
“I want to feel you,” you responded quietly, rolling your hips with a fuller motion. You joined your lips with his, slowly deepening the kiss.
Joshua moaned, letting himself be swallowed by your warmth and love, trying to memorize to heart what it feels like being yours. To be loved by you. He closed his eyes tightly, breathing out the euphoric feeling gripping him wholly.
You pulled back for air, your lips making a soft smacking noise when you broke the kiss. “I love you, Joshua,” you breathed, burying your fingers in his mane of dark hair.
“I love you too,” he responded, his voice thickening with emotion. “You can’t imagine how much.”
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Even though it was early in the morning, the airport was busy. As you climbed out of the car, you noticed Joshua’s anxiety kicking in. The posture of his body changed, and his gaze seemed to darken, and it was not only because of the hairs of his fringe tangling with his eyelashes. It was the way he looked around, probably making sure that the coast was clear.
Joshua did this lately. After he made sure that no one had known of his whereabouts, he extended a hand for you to hold. And when you did, he laced his long fingers with yours, pulling you closer as though he did not want you to get caught in the sea of people.
“Do you see Hannie?” he asked quietly beside you, adjusting the mask covering his mouth and squaring his shoulders to shift the backpack hanging on his shoulders.
You shook your head no. In fact, you had not started looking for him until your boyfriend suggested the idea for you.
Finding Jeonghan was quick. And easy. “There,” you squeezed Joshua’s hand with yours and nodded to the man perched on a massage chair.
Jeonghan’s head was lolling to one side languidly, his chest and shoulders shaking as the massage chair worked on his back. Joshua spotted the man as soon as you pointed and changed courses to meet up to him.
“Hey,” Joshua gently budged his shoulder, freeing the handle of his suitcase to do so.
Jeonghan opened his eyes, raising his head to peer under his baseball cap. “Oh, Joshuji,” he giggled awkwardly when his voice vibrated too. “There you are, you two. You’re late.”
“Yeah, you don’t say,” Joshua mumbled dismissively. “Let’s go, Hannie,” he urged the man, budging him another time but firmer, chuckling as he did so.
“Can’t you wait until this thing finishes?” he nagged, but then surrendered quickly when Joshua used his hand again to slap his shoulder. “Ah! Fine, okay,” he sighed, rising to his feet in front of you. “Hi, baby,” he muttered warmly.
“Hi, Jeongjeong,” you smiled at him, seeing his face made your tummy flutter uneasily. His eyes found yours, right before he planted a peck on your lips. His hand brushed your arm gently before he placed one peck on the tip of your nose.
The fluttering feeling intensified, making your breathing ragged. Your eyes shifted to your surroundings, thinking that people would find it weird that you were kissing one man while holding the hand of another man.
But you found out that no one was paying attention to you.
“Come on,” Joshua squeezed your hand gently.
“Okay,” Jeonghan conceded, following you when Joshua pulled you to his direction as he strode to do check his bags. Where you stayed back with Jeonghan as you both waited for Joshua.
“You’re okay, princess?” Jeonghan asked quietly, standing with his arms crossed and closely behind you.
You turned to see his eyes, partly covered by his cap. “Yeah, I’m okay,” you replied flatly, but your lie was made obvious by the way you quickly yanked your gaze from his face. “You know,” you sighed. “I don’t want to say goodbye.”
“Well, it’ll just be a few weeks,” he said in a consoling tone. “And we are going to visit him, we’ll watch him play for the biggest venues, it’ll be fine.”
You searched his eyes one more time. The confidence and reassurance he offered you never failed to do their work.
And he also never failed to read you perfectly well. “It’s not that what’s got you anxious, is it?” he mumbled with a lower tone.
You swallowed your words.
“What happened to trusting him?” he mused, the slightest of smirks playing on his lips. “When did that fly out the window?”
“I’m just overthinking,” you brushed off, sending a glance towards your boyfriend and felt guilty. “I didn’t like doing long distance the first time he went away.”
Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “Again, baby. It’ll be just a few weeks,” he leaned his head to his shoulder, looking at you with gentle eyes. “Don’t be afraid. Let’s just trust him, okay?”
Joshua was walking back to you and Jeonghan, you knew by the look on his face that he needed to go. “The boys are at the gates already,” he mentioned, sighing with heavy reluctance, and looked to you. “I have to go now.”
You nodded, but you could not stop the remorse gripping your heart. “Yeah, okay,” you forced out.
Joshua scanned the features of your face briefly before turning to Jeonghan. They exchanged a meaningful look, making you wish for the nth time to tap into the wavelength they jealously kept to themselves. But you kept your eyes on them as Joshua extended a hand for Jeonghan to clasp firmly.
Joshua pulled him into a hug. “Ah, okay,” Jeonghan muttered with an air of awkwardness, being caught by surprise. “I’ll miss you too, Joshuji,” he coughed up a chuckle.
“Take care, Jeonghannie,” Joshua brought up his hand to pat on his best friend’s head, and something told you this used to be a normal exchange between them.
“Yeah, you too,” Jeonghan darted a look to your face. “Keep in touch, yeah? Don’t be a stranger.”
It was then that you felt some semblance of reassurance. You could feel your own distractions dissipating as soon as you saw the two men you love hugging each other. Joshua was trying to change, so you had to let go of your fears too.
“Course,” Joshua muttered as he stepped back, a weary look in his eyes as these searched you one more time.
You reached out to him just as his arms wrapped you in, once your chest was tightly pressed against his, you let out a tiny sob.
“No, baby, don’t cry, please,” he muttered, turning his face so he could press a kiss on the crown of your head.
You took a big gulp of air to calm your sobs. “I’ll miss you, Josh,” you told him, tightening your arms around his torso.
“I’ll miss you too, baby,” he replied with a strained voice. As soon as he heard your sobs, the sharp feeling returned to grip his heart. “I’ll call you. Every day.”
“Please,” you whispered shakily, moving your face to meet his.
The feeling coiled around his heart tighter when he saw your teary eyes, but you kept yourself steady and strong as you locked eyes with him. Your plea to him was clear, and he nodded to you.
“I promise,” he whispered back, leaning down to press his lips in your forehead.
You grabbed his face with your hands, giving him a quick kiss. “I love you,” you mumbled meekly.
Joshua sighed, smiling at the shyness you displayed. “Kiss me properly,” he giggled into your mouth before slotting his lips between yours.
A warm tingling feeling invaded you, lingering beneath your hot cheeks. The kiss deepened, and even if you were aware of Jeonghan’s eyes on both you and Joshua, you let yourself ease into the kiss, moving your lips on his in a seamless dance.
“I love you,” he mumbled with a sweet smile, leaning to press a kiss on the tip of your nose.
And with that, Joshua released you from his embrace, patting Jeonghan’s shoulder right before turning to walk towards the gates, where he joined the mass of people and eventually disappeared.
Joshua was gone again.
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The ride back home was a strong reminiscent of the first time Joshua left on tour.
The sun was rising, the wet pavement was shimmering with the sunlight and from the rain that washed overnight. The windows of the car were covered with a light layer of mist, you rubbed your hands together, trying to warm them up a little.
You lifted one finger and drew a smiley face on the car window.
“Oi,” Jeonghan jolted you awake. “No drawing on the windows!” he berated you playfully.
You added some rays around the face, turning it into a smiley sun.
“Ah, you little…” he giggled, sliding a hand on your thigh. “So, have you decided what you want for breakfast?”
You shook your head, gaze falling on Jeonghan’s hand parked on your thigh. “I just want to go home.”
“Okay, home it is then,” he mumbled sweetly.
You paused for a second. “I do want blueberry muffins, though.”
“Ah, alright,” he giggled, patting your thigh gently. “Let’s go get muffins, baby.”
You knew that Jeonghan had commenced his plan to distract you from the emptiness of going back to an empty apartment. When you got there, and saw the table cluttered with the stuff from the dinner of the night before, it was not as painful as you thought it would be.
Jeonghan kept quiet at first, helping you remove the cups of wine and taking them to the sink. The glances he sent to check on you continued until he decided you were alright, that your silence was not because you felt sad, and although you did, it was merely because you were going to miss Joshua.
“Do you want coffee?” Jeonghan, his soft voice breaking through the barriers of your mind.
“I’d love that,” you replied, offering him a reassuring smile.
You followed him to the kitchen, putting the rest of the plates in the sink. “Leave that there,” Jeonghan muttered as you reached for the scrub. “I’ll do the dishes.”
“You don’t have to, Hannie,” you said, noticing that he was trying to accommodate to your gloomy mood and do nice things for you.
“But I want to,” he shrugged, but then you saw a light smirk lifting the corners of his pretty lips. “You do the breakfast, though. It’s your turn,” he said, finishing with a broader smile.
“Pff, okay,” you huffed, a smile appearing on your face.
Jeonghan’s eyes lit up, outlining the features of your face swiftly. “And then maybe we could watch a movie,” he offered, trying to hold your gaze for as long as he could. “But then I have to go to work.”
You raised your eyes to his. And he noticed the question written in your face.
“Wanna come with?”
You nodded with your head silently.
“Okay, then,” he breathed in, pressing the button on the coffee maker on. Then he busied himself with doing the dishes, swiftly looking your way as you prepared two omelettes.
A shy smile crept on your face, being scrutinized by his sweet brown eyes just made you feel uneasy. Jeonghan noticed, moving to stand behind you so you would not feel his gaze on you, but then he did matters worse. His arms encircled your waist, hugging you from behind, his chest pressed to your back.
“What?” he asked when you lowered your head, smiling when he pressed a kiss on your shoulder.
“Nothing,” you mumbled, squirming slightly when his breath fanned your nape. “You make me nervous.”
“Why?” he whispered, he looked at your eyes, then your lips.
“I like you,” you replied in kind. You thought it was obvious.
The way his eyes lit up made your stomach flutter with butterflies. “I like you more, princess,” he said, his low tone quivering.
Your cheeks tingled, making you focus back on the stove and served two plates almost in a methodical way. “Do you think it’s strange?” you pried. “That I want to be with two people at once?”
“You know I don’t think so,” he replied matter-of-factly. “If the real question is, do I think people would find it strange, then yes.”
You coughed up a chuckle. “That’s helpful,” you scoffed, but you could not ignore that it had deflated you a little.
“But they’re not us,” you felt him shrug behind you. “What matters is what happens between Joshua, you and me, right?”
“What do you think?”
Jeonghan pondered for a second. He stopped hugging you and took the plates from the counter, turning to set them on the table. "Sit," he nodded to the chair before turning back to grab the two cups of coffee.
You sat down as Jeonghan set a cup down on the table for you and then himself. He then dropped himself into the seat next to you, a hand flipping the visor of baseball cap.
The tips of his ears poked out; his hair tucked behind them. You instinctively reached out to push some lose hairs behind his ear, drawing his heavy lashed eyes to yours.
A small smile appeared on his face as he caught your hand, pressing his lips to the pads of your fingers. Your stomach dropped in nervousness.
“So?”
“I don’t think it’s weird that you want to be with Joshua and me at the same time,” he said, sinking his fork into the omelette. As he chewed on his food, he lifted his gaze to the ceiling, appearing to be formulating his sentence: “I think we haven’t talked about the… more complicated aspects of dating two people at the same time. At least not the three of us.”
“Oh, so you have. You and Joshua?” you raised your eyebrows.
He nodded. “I asked him if he was sure about all of this,” his lips pouted as he chewed.
“What did he say?” you asked slowly.
“Eat,” he motioned to your untouched food, noticing that you were so caught up with the conversation that you forgot to eat your omelette. “I asked why he agreed to this, since he’s the most jealous guy I’ve ever known,” he shrugged, pausing with the piece of omelette in front of his mouth. “He says he doesn’t know why, but he wants this. You know?”
You nodded, chewing on your food.
“But I think we need to have this conversation again, the three of us when he comes back,” he continued, much as if his thoughts had organized neatly in his head. “Because I’m new to this, sometimes I feel like I’m catching up to the two of you.”
“I’m new to this too,” you frowned.
“I mean that I’m sort of… joining the two of you. Joshua and you already have an established relationship,” his eyes flitted around the room. From the two large noise amps that sat on the corner of the living room, to the table beside the dining table covered in photo frames of shots of you and Joshua. His eyes glanced at the shoe rack by the front door, filled with your and Joshua’s shoes before resting on you once more. “I just got to the party.”
You smiled at the way he conceptualized the polycule you have arranged. You set your elbow on the table, resting your head on your fist. “Well, we have time to bring you up to speed,” you smirked at him.
That seemed to catch his attention. His eyebrow quirked up. “Mm, I like to hear that,” he smirked back at you. He looked at your other hand resting on the table and did not hesitate to take it in his, his fingers playing with yours. “When do we start?”
“Today,” you giggled when you did not skip a beat to give him your answer. “You need to get ready because you're going to speed through this, old man.”
Jeonghan laughed, the sound of his chuckles warming your heart. “Oh yeah?” he arched an eyebrow. “What are we going to speed through today?”
“I don’t know what the steps are,” you admitted. “Joshua and I kind of flew through the steps to having conventional a relationship.”
“And I just got here to make it even more unconventional?” he added, smirking playfully.
“Or to make it more fun,” you quipped but then you shook your head. “I don’t know. You could take me out on a fancy dinner. Give me a reason to dress up.”
“Is that step number one?” he asked, enjoying your playful back and forth.
“Oh, no, you’re in like step number five already,” you quipped with a light chuckle.
“Ah, yeah?” he raised his eyebrows. “When did I climb the other four steps?”
You held up a hand and showed him your pointer finger, signaling a number one. “We hold hands,” you held up another finger, signaling number two. “We’ve kissed, multiple times. Three, we’ve slept together, four we’ve had sex–,”
“Multiple times,” he rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you’re right. What’s next?”
You shrugged. “You tell me,” taking a big gulp from your cup of coffee.
“I’d like you to meet my friends,” he said, giving you a meaningful look.
Jeonghan gave a lot of importance to his friendships. You knew that even before you met him, since Joshua told you about him, about him being his greatest confidant. So, meeting his friends meant a lot to him.
Your ears perked up at this. “Oh, your friends from work?” you asked, and he nodded with his head meekly. “Let’s do it. I’d love that.”
“Nice,” he smiled with satisfaction. “Step number five.”
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“You’re gonna grow bored,” he commented off-handedly as he held the door open for you.
“That’s why I brought a book with me,” you replied with a sing-song tone. “I don’t really know what you do for your job, so I probably will be paying attention to you.”
“That’s not…” he sighed and dropped his gaze to the ground, smiling shyly. He took your hand, looking at your fingers as you laced them with his.
You laughed in nervousness at your own bad attempts at flirting.
Jeonghan lead you through the establishment. You had been here before, but everything you remembered about the place was a blur. That time you were distraught, your mind was cluttered with thoughts about your big argument with Joshua, and your feelings for Jeonghan.
The interior of the place was beautiful, it struck you along with its quietness. As you followed Jeonghan through its cold halls, you marvelled at the walls decorated with large posters of their most successful plays.
“This way,” Jeonghan whispered, not really noticing that you saw his name plastered on one of the posters. He opened a door to you, showing you to the room that extended bellow you in rows of seats, and large steps that lead to the big stage. “Come on.”
The stage was not vacant, as you initially had expected. A group of people sat in a circle, and some were practicing a choreography in the background, a couple of men pushing a large stage prop to one corner.
It was so packed in fact that no one noticed you and Jeonghan coming in. “Wait here,” he mumbled, showing you to one seat in the front row.
You watched as Jeonghan paced towards the stage, rolling the sleeves of his hoodie up to his elbows. Something encircling his wrist caught your eye, just as he grabbed it to toy with it. It was your scrunchie, and it had been so long since you had seen it that it brought a smile to your face.
You sat down on the seat, closely following Jeonghan. He put himself to work at once, he was handed a tablet and people approached him, you saw him nod and shake his head, then he pointed at the stage lights.
He nodded to the person he was speaking to and seemingly came to an agreement. Then he turned, looking at the tablet in his hands as he approached your seat in the front row.
“Bored yet?” he asked, seating himself beside you.
“The opposite,” you grinned. “What are you doing?”
He lowered the tablet on his thigh. “Just doing a general revision before this rehearsal. We’re closer to putting this show together. These are the final days before the opening show,” he motioned to the table sitting on his lap. “And here I can see which are the scenes we’re going to rehearse, and I know what to oversee.”
You moved your head up and down, slowly. “Interesting,” you noted. “And what scene are we rehearsing today?”
Jeonghan leaned to your side, looking at the screen. “At the gates of Emerald city,” he recited the title scene with a pleased tone. “So, lightings, costume changes, the song, and choreography. Easy.”
You raised your eyebrows at him. “Easy, eh?” you mumbled.
He sucked in a breath through his teeth pensively. “I just have to make sure that everything’s going smoothly, you know?” he smirked. “Imagine I’m the teacher and the class are showing me their homework.”
You laughed, and that brought a big smile to his face. “And that’s all you do?”
“I get the playwright, the writers, the cast, the crew, and the budget,” he listed with a straight face, but you saw the cunning in his eyes. “I call the shots, baby.”
You snorted but drew from his confidence to say: “Alright, chief. Let’s see what you got.”
Jeonghan’s eyes flashed back to you, then to your lips. “Ready when you are,” he mumbled, continuing to lean to you when–
“Director-nim!” a snappy voice called from below one end of the stage. You followed the sound of the voice. The young man was flashing Jeonghan an annoyed look.
“What?” Jeonghan responded, his tone dropping to one you rarely heard on him.
“Yoon Jeonghan! Stop flirting and come here!”
“This guy,” he said under his breath as he stood up. “I’ll be right back,” he told you as he approached the group where the young man was showing him a daring smile.
The phone you stuck between your thighs started vibrating, pulling you out of your focus. Joshua’s name displayed on the screen, along with a photo of him that you took on one of your dates.
“Hi, handsome,” you responded to his call, a smile spreading on your face almost at once.
“Hi, beautiful,” his sweet voice came to your ear a second after. “I just landed.”
“How was your flight? You sound tired,” you noted.
“I didn’t get much sleep on the flight. But we’re on the way to the hotel and hopefully I can sleep before I begin with the promotional activities,” his tone dropped slightly, then he paused pensively before: “I can’t wait till I’m back home. I miss you already.”
A spasm in your chest made you choke out. “I miss you too, babe,” you replied, sneaking a look to Jeonghan walking back to you.
“I’ll call you when I’m at the hotel,” Joshua said. “I have to go.”
“Okay,” you mumbled. “Love you.”
“I love you too, baby.”
Jeonghan sat down beside you again, a knowing look on his face as he motioned a question with one movement of his head. “Everything okay?”
You tucked your phone between your thighs again. “Yeah. Everything’s okay. Josh just landed,” you sighed and looked back at him. “You?”
Jeonghan nodded when he saw your assurance. “These brats were trying to grab my attention,” he said with a hint of annoyance, which was quickly replaced with a cheeky smile. “They want to know who you are.”
“Oh, are they your friends?” you asked, sending a quick glance to the small group of performers gathered to one side of the stage. You caught the eye of one of the men. And you recognized him right away.
Jeonghan leaned back on the seat, crossing one leg as he nodded. “My friends first. Then I tried to get them into castings, and when I got my company settled they were there every step of the way.”
“They seem… fun,” you frowned, paying attention to the commotion that was starting to take place in the small group of Jeonghan’s friends. “I know one of them.”
“Who, Seokmin?” he guessed right away.
“Yeah, he was–,”
“Joshua’s flatmate, yeah. I introduced them,” he smirked.
“And you think it’s okay to introduce them to me like this?” you asked sheepishly.
“Well, we don’t have to give any explanation,” he shrugged. “But I do see how this could be uncomfortable for you.”
“I just don’t want people close to Joshua to think that I’m cheating on him,” you whispered, dropping your gaze to your hands.
Jeonghan stilled. “Yeah, I didn’t think of that,” he sighed with a hint of disappointment. “Maybe we could do this another way.”
Your heart deflated at once. “I still want to meet them.”
He pondered about it for a second. “I don’t want people to think you cheated on Joshua either,” he agreed, pursing his lips. “Tell you what, let’s wait for another opportunity. With a lot more privacy.”
You looked around the theatre room, catching several pairs of curious eyes on both you and Jeonghan. “Yeah, you’re right.”
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After being with him all day in what truly felt like a regular day you would spend with a partner, Jeonghan took you to dinner with him, and went for a stroll, talking about everything and nothing while holding hands.
It had been a nice time, but more pressing matters distracted you: work. You needed to work since the last few days your focus was on enjoying Joshua’s last days at home.
“Are you… staying the night?” you asked as the car turned down the street you lived in.
Jeonghan had one hand on the steering wheel, and the other was clasped with yours. “No, baby, not tonight,” he decided after two long seconds.
“Can I ask why?” you asked with caution.
“I have to do some work early tomorrow. Plus, I don’t have clothes, or a toothbrush,” he replied with a shrug.
You looked at your hands laced together. “You can bring some of your things, so you can stay someday… if you want.”
You hated how tiny and vulnerable you sounded. But you did not want to spend the night alone.
But Jeonghan did not notice, his focus was on pulling to the curb right in front of your building. “I’ll bring some in, baby,” he replied aloofly.
“Okay,” you replied begrudgingly.
But you did not make a motion to exit the car yet, your seatbelt was still put on, your hand still in his. Jeonghan smiled, noticing your reluctance. “Come here,” he breathed, leaning towards you, a pair of fingers slipping beneath your jaw to kiss your lips tenderly. “See you tomorrow?”
“See you tomorrow, Hannie,” you replied with a sweet smile like his.    
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Midnight Haze Rocks the World: New Album Breaks Streaming Records in 24 Hours
Read the headline on your monitor screen. A picture of the three members of Midnight Haze appeared on top of the article published that morning. It was the third day since Joshua left for his first tour with his band Midnight Haze. And as expected, the internet flooded with overwhelming love for their phenomenal skyrocketing to success.
As such, a lot of eyes were posed on Joshua. A deluge of articles and videos were coming out every day, about his personal life, about his artistic process to write his lyrics, and speculations about his lovers.
Joshua was right. There was a huge part of Midnight Haze’s following that suspected he had a partner. And there was an even larger part that suspected that he was no more than a womanizer.
To some extent, it was painful to read some of the things you found online. And as much as you wanted to avoid it, you could not. So you did what you knew best: bury yourself in work.
Midnight Haze Sold-Out World Tour Breaks Box Office Records
It had been ten days since Joshua left.
His texts came less often. Same as his phone calls. Whenever he did call or text, he said he was busy, stressed. But he was trying to keep in touch with you. And that was all that mattered.
Midnight Haze’s Joshua Hong and Mysterious Woman Spark Romance Rumors at Exclusive Event
It was fourteen days since Joshua left. It was becoming more difficult to ignore the headlines and rumours created around him to draw in attention from the public and his fans. Although he seemed more consumed by the fast-paced nature of his job, he still called everyday.
Deciding you had your fill of nonsense you found online, you rested your head in your arm, sighing deeply in exhaustion.
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“Baby, wake up,” Jeonghan’s soothing voice pulled you from your dreams.
You lifted your head abruptly, drawing in a breath. “I’m up,” you blurted sluggishly. “What’s up?”
Jeonghan giggled as you rubbed your eyes. You were in your studio, sitting on your armchair. There was drool smeared on your cheek, as you came to find out when you rubbed your face.
“You fell asleep,” Jeonghan pointed, giving you a kind smile. “Let’s go to bed.”
“When did you get here?” you slurred out. The room had darkened, the only source of light coming from your double monitor idle screens.
“Just got here,” he said, and you had started to notice the hint of concern in his voice. “Go to bed, so you can sleep better.”
You turned to your screen to look at the time. You had been asleep like this for nearly four hours. “Oh no,” you gasped. “I slept for too long. I must keep working.”
“Why?” he asked slowly. “You’re clearly tired, baby. Sleep some more and come back when you feel more refreshed.”
“Mmn,” you pondered his request for a second. You ran your sleeve over the tiny puddle of drool on your desk and looked at him.
Jeonghan was standing beside you, looking at you as if you were a baby in your crib. “You missed here,” he whispered, bringing the tip of his finger to the corner of your lips.
You slapped your hand to your lips, wiping the drool that was there.
He giggled. “Come on, princess, let’s go to bed,” he egged, motioning to the door to the bedroom.
You shook your head. “I want tea,” you pushed yourself from the chair.
“Tsk,” he sighed heavily, but he followed you down the hall, nonetheless.
“I don’t want to hear it,” you mumbled groggily, knowing what was coming.
“You’re overworking yourself again, Princess,” he reprimanded.
“Here we go,” you said in a sing-song tone.
“Just rest for a day!” he suggested with earnest. “You’ll feel better, and probably will get more work done.”
“I can’t rest, the deadline to submitting the first draft is nearer,” you protested as you got to the kitchen, getting to the electric kettle, filling it with water and turning it on. “And I’m nowhere near done this draft.”
“There is nothing wrong with taking a break for one day,” Jeonghan tilted his head to one side, his brown eyes following you. “Just take a break for once.”
You locked eyes with him, now considering his request.
“For me,” he added, the corners of his lips tightening, trying not to break into a smile.
“Pfft,” you scoffed loudly when he finally gave in, laughing merrily at his own cheesy addition. “See, I was considering it, until you said that,” you pointed.
“Please?” he said, bringing a halt to his laughs and his features took on a more serious look. “Just for tonight.”
“Okay. Just for tonight,” you conceded, heart fluttering uneasily when he smiled in victory. “Tea?” you raised your eyebrows.
“Sure,” he muttered, nodding with his head once. He had crossed his arms on his chest, his eyes trained on you as you moved in the kitchen. “Did you stay up writing last night?” he pried.
“And the night before that,” you sighed, handing him a mug of tea with milk. “It’s just not going well.”
“Can I ask why?” he leaned back on the kitchen counter.
“It’s just a writer’s block,” you shrugged, but both of you knew that was not true.
“What is the problem?” he asked again, his tone was gentle, it gave you that cozy sense of familiarity he never failed to give you.
“I just can’t…” you started faintly, toying with the teaspoon. “I’m out of ideas. I planned the whole book, the whole trilogy, but I just can’t string them together. I’m paying too much attention to tiny details, and I can’t get my creativity flowing.”
Jeonghan pursed his lips. “It seems like you have the problem narrowed down.”
“Yeah,” you said dejectedly. “I just can’t solve it.”
“Well, stepping back can help,” he shrugged, flashing you a knowing look. “Maybe you need to… reframe your initial ideas.”
It was reasonable that Jeonghan had experience with this. His line of work is very similar to yours, in some way. Even if he did not always write the plays he directs, he knew what a creative block was.
You rolled your eyes to the ceiling, humming pensively as you tried to retrieve your answer. “I wanted this book to be like a bridge gapping the first and the third book but, now it just feels like I’ve written myself into a corner.”
“Don’t say that,” he protested, leaving his mug aside. “I get that you’re stressed and the deadline and all that,” a hand reached out to grab yours, gently pulling you towards him. “But you’re talented and smart enough to get out of any corner you find yourself in.”
His arm circled on your lower back, and your hand fell on his chest. It brought a smile to your face to hear his words. “Thank you, Jeonghan,” you said. “You’re right. I just focused on the smallest details, now I feel jaded.”
He nodded in understanding. “I know how that feels,” he said, his kind voice lowering a little. “Listen, why don’t we just relax for now? Continue tomorrow, take it one step at a time, see where that gets you.”
You nodded, sighing deeply. “Alright.”
Jeonghan smiled cutely at you, making tiny dimples appear on his chin. “You got this, baby,” he mumbled.
“Thank you, Jeonghan,” you whispered, meekly pushing yourself on your tiptoes to reach his lips with a kiss.
“Don’t thank me,” he breathed, his other hand came up to cup the back of your head, his fingers tangling with your hair. He slotted his lips between yours, and you tasted the sweetness of green tea mixed with sugar in his kiss.
“Mmn,” your hands found his face. Jeonghan’s kisses were always tender, and delicate. Almost as if kissing the petals of a rose. Even during make-out sessions, just as this moment was turning into, he kept his lips gentle on yours.
But he pulled away too quickly, sucking in a breath between his teeth. Dropping his head back, he stared at the ceiling. Jeonghan had been doing this for the past few days: stopping himself before the kissing went too far.
“What’s wrong?” you mumbled.
He shook his head silently, and then he lowered his eyes to meet yours. “Let’s go to bed,” he suggested, taking your hand again.
“Okay,” you whispered, a coy smile appearing on your face.
“Knock it off,” he snapped, but he started smiling too.
“I didn’t do anything!” you giggled as he took you to the bedroom. “What’s with that serious face? I thought you were onto something.”
“Careful, princess,” he cautioned, but you heard the hint of playfulness in his tone.
“Or what?” you smirked as you sat down on your bed and kept your eyes on him as he emptied the pockets of his black sweats on the nightstand. His phone, the keys to his car and apartment, and a green vape pen.
“Or nothing,” he huffed, motioning at the bed. “Are you going to lie down?”
“Yeah, I just…” you saw him lie down on the mattress; legs spread wide open. You sighed.  “I’ll change into pjs,” you announced, a smirk painted on your face as you rose to your feet, stripping your cozy pullover with one movement and then your pants.
“Tsk,” he clicked his tongue and reached for his vape pen, tucking it between his rosy lips. Even as you turned your back to him, you knew his eyes were on your semi-naked body. You sent him a glance to confirm your suspicions were true and smiled.
“Don’t smoke in my bedroom,” you chastised him, but your tone was made insecure by his eyes staring at you.
“I’m not smoking,” he mumbled faintly, and his statement was true. He had not drawn from his vape pen yet, but he kept it tucked between his lips.
You finished smoothing Joshua’s oversized t-shirt over your frame and walked to the bed. Jeonghan watched you crawl to where he occupied the mattress, which was your side of the bed.
“What does it taste like?” you wondered, tilting your head in curiosity.
Jeonghan said nothing, he just handed you his vape pen, matching your curiosity with his eyes. And you took it, you tried to mimic his movements you always saw him do by tucking the tip between your lips. A faint smirk appeared on his face when you sent him a glance and sucked in a breath from the vape pen.
You started coughing at once. The light smoke invaded your throat and coating it with an overly sweet taste, making it impossible to get an actual experience of what Jeonghan was so addicted to. He chuckled as your coughing died.
“It’s slowly, baby,” he instructed, taking the vape pen from your hand gently and motioned your eyes to him. “Like taking a small sip from a straw.”
He took a draw from the vape pen slowly, his throat bobbing as he seemingly swallowed the smoke, and then exhaled it through his mouth and nose.
“Try it.”
You sent him a reluctant look, but took the pen to your mouth, nonetheless. Slowly, you sucked in a breath once again, getting a taste of the green apple flavor that reminded you of Jeonghan. Then you quickly blew the light smoke with your lips.
“That was disappointing,” you mumbled. 
“What did you expect?” he chuckled.
“This is what you’re so addicted to?” you raised your eyebrows, giving the pen back to him.
“No,” he rolled his eyes. “I was that or tobacco. And I just need to keep my hands and mouth busy. This helps,” he signaled to the vape pen.
“Hands and mouth busy, eh?” you smirked.
“Shut up,” he hissed, but a wide smile took over the features of his face.
“Make me,” you whispered, zeroing your eyes on him in a tantalizing way.
Jeonghan paused, the only sign that he was not expecting you say that was a single twitch of an eyebrow. He took a long draw, an even longer one, that went on for seconds, filling his chest out with smoke.
“Come here,” he said, not letting go of even a ghost of smoke through his lips. He extended one arm, his hand cupping your cheek, holding your face inches away from his. “Open your mouth.”
You instinctively parted your lips, just as he exhaled the smoke he had been holding in his chest, pouring it into your mouth. It felt cold, it tasted like green apples, it filled your senses with the taste of him as you exhaled.
Jeonghan sealed your lips with a kiss so soft it had you asking for more. You moaned, a hand coming to hold his face to help you kiss him harder, enticingly. “Princess,” he grunted through your continued attacks with your lips. “You need to rest.”
You pulled away from his lips, looking at him in utter disbelief. “Okay,” you frowned.
Rejected, you lied down on the opposite side of the bed to Jeonghan, turning over so your back was to him. Your heart deflated with pangs of pain at each beat, your mind riddled with questions as to why he was keeping you at arm’s length.
You jolted in surprise when Jeonghan’s arm encircled your waist, nuzzling his face in your hair. Just as he did the last time he slept in your bed.
“Are we just cuddling?” you sulked.
“Yep. Just cuddling,” he mumbled, scooting his body to yours so he could perfectly spoon you.
“Why?” you whispered, closing your eyes to push down the tears trying to sting them. You felt ridiculous.
“You need to rest,” he repeated with a calming tone.
“Jeonghan,” you turned over to see his face. “Did I do something wrong?”
He frowned. “No,” he shook his head. “Why do you say that?”
“You haven’t been… as physical as usual,” you mumbled out with caution. “I’m beginning to think that I’m doing something wrong.”
Jeonghan blinked, an alarmed look settling in the features of his face. “I just wanted to take my time with you,” he said, gentleness coating his words. Once he saw your features relax, he continued: “We started with the wrong foot. I wanted you to get to know me outside of the sexual aspect, you know?”
“But I do know you outside of the sexual aspect,” you blurted. “You’re my best friend.”
As soon as the words left your mouth, you wished to take them back. 
“That’s not…” Jeonghan sighed with a frustrated air. “When you mentioned the steps to a relationship, I thought we could take it slow, and let you know me intimately.”
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, yanking your gaze from his face.
“No, I’m sorry,” he replied in the same fashion. “I never wanted to make you feel rejected.”
You noticed for the first time, how struggling it was for him to speak out his inner thoughts. He was an excellent communicator sometimes, but it was different when it came to his feelings.
“It’s okay,” you reassured, now enclosing the space between you on the bed, so you could entangle your body with his. “But I’m confused. I do know you intimately.”
He shook his head lightly. “You mean as your friend,” he said wearily. “I mean as a boyfriend.”
Your heart stopped, and the moment between you too. In all the past few weeks you have been with Jeonghan, in all the considerations you were trying to bring into the relationship, you somehow thought that was a given.
“Wait,” he blurted, closed his eyes tightly and then: “I want to ask you formally.”
You blinked at him, a smile slowly curving your lips. “It’s okay,” you repeated. “I’d like that, Jeongjeong.”
“You would?” he smirked. “I’m sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve done serious relationships. And I’m old. So, I don’t know what’s in anymore.”
“You’re not old,” you said slowly. “And I don’t know what’s in either, so… Chances are that whatever you have in mind is something I like.”
“Okay,” he sighed, looking more relaxed, but then he pressed his lips into a tight line. “Just so you know, it was never within my intentions to make you feel like I don’t want you.”
“It’s okay,” you reassured with a light smile. “It was just confusing to me why you didn’t want to be physical anymore.”
Jeonghan let out a low chuckle. “Princess, believe me, there’s nothing more I want right now,” he rolled his eyes in shame. “Especially when you undress yourself in front of me, doing those sounds when I kiss you.”
You had to laugh at his face in complete frustration. “Well, if you had said something about it, I wouldn’t have teased you so much,” you pouted.
“Ah, really?” he snickered. “Really, princess? I don’t believe that for a second,” he emphasized.
“Why, don’t I get the benefit of the doubt?”
“Not when you’re both mine and Joshua’s partner, mm-mmn,” he negated with his head on the pillow.
“What is that supposed to mean?” you asked, though pointlessly. 
“You’re a tease,” he said with an obvious tone. “You know what will work on me because it works on him.”  
“Mmph,” you hummed thoughtfully. “You know I don’t see it like that.”
But it did sound familiar to something Joshua said a couple of months ago. It was something that you had started to find very real: Jeonghan and Joshua were so similar to the point it could be eerie. And it did not seem impressive to Joshua that Jeonghan would find you attractive, because he also did.
“Let’s go to sleep,” he said after taking a look at your face.
“Okay,” you conceded, turning over again to be cuddled by his body.
Some moments later, you could still hear him breathing normally. His movements were kept at minimum, but you knew he was still awake. He shifted slightly behind you, you heard the rustle of the bedsheets, when he moved his head on your pillow.
You just closed your eyes, trying to fall asleep but his body behind you was too distracting, your feet bumped into his, the warmth pooling inside your tummy making you smile.
Jeonghan shifted again on the bed, encircling his arm around your waist languidly, now his body fully pressed against yours. You could understand the reason why he struggled to find a position to rest with your body close to his.
“Are you okay?” you breathed.
He blinked, darting a look to your face. “Yeah, I’m just…” he sighed, smiling shyly at you. “You’re very warm.”
“You don’t like it?” you frowned. “We don’t have to cuddle, we could–,”
“I do like it,” he cut in. “That’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?” you mumbled, giggling softly at his indecision.
When you went to bed, you had forgotten to close the blinds completely, a faint light coming from the windows painted his face in a pale white color. You could see his eyes properly as he contemplated his answer.
“I don’t think I can wait much longer,” he mumbled, laughing sheepishly at his own demise. “I thought I could, but I guess I’m not so strong when it comes to you.”
Jeonghan had his arm folded and tucked under his head, so that way his eyes lowered to find your face as you turned over, your back pressed against the mattress.
“Well, you’ve been edging me and yourself for nearly two weeks now,” you said, smiling at him as he laughed harder. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I want to be a good boyfriend to you,” he pursed his lip into a pout. But his hand parked on your tummy over your t-shirt.
Your heart stammered in your chest frantically, making your blood rush to your face. “You are a good boyfriend, Jeonghan,” you mumbled, flashing him a cheeky smile. “You can be a good boyfriend and have sex with me.”  
“I–,” he broke into an airy laugh, squeezing his eyes in utter shyness. “Don’t tempt me, princess. You’re tired and haven’t slept well.”
“Mmn, okay,” you said, but you could see it in his eyes: Jeonghan wanted you. His rosy lips parted slightly, his heavy-lidded eyes reading your face. “Come here, baby,” you whispered, sneaking a hand on his nape to pull him to your face.
Jeonghan reciprocated the need of your lips without skipping a second. The strangled sound that coiled in his throat only egged you on, your hands slid from his nape to graze his scalp with the tips of your fingers.
“Call me that again,” he breathed gruffly into your mouth as he repositioned his body on top of yours.
You paused, looking at his face that was now hovering on top of yours. “Baby,” you hummed, an ecstatic shudder shaking you when he saw the fascination flash in his eyes. “Kiss me… please.”
Jeonghan leaned down but stopped before he could reach your lips, a smile broke the features of his face. “You’re going to be the death of me. You know that, right?”
The tip of his nose bumped with yours playfully taunting you before he slotted his pretty lips with yours. You felt the weight of the pillows shifting when he placed his forearms on the sides of your head, caging you in. Blindly, you parted your legs for him just as he slotted himself between them.
He kept kissing you, he never stopped. The softness to which he was kissing you made you drunk, wanting more. “Hannie…” you whispered, turning your head as his lips kissed the apple of your cheek, trailing down to the line of your jaw.
“Tell me what you want,” he mumbled faintly, his breath fanning a spot below your earlobe.
You recounted in your head every sexual experience you have had with Jeonghan so far. Narrowing down what had made you so dissatisfied the last time you had sex with him was easy: there was a lack of connection with him. One that you craved deeply.
“I want you–,” you gasped when his lips reached your collarbone, as he pushed back his body, his hands retreated from your sides, finding the hem of your oversized t-shirt. His hands were cold upon sliding on your tummy. “I don’t care how, just do anything you like.”
A flash of déjà vu hit you hard. Jeonghan lifted his head from the curve of your neck, his long dark hair obscuring his eyes. “Anything?” he asked, tilting his head to one side slowly. “There must be something you need, princess.”
“I don’t know,” you smiled at him sheepishly.
Jeonghan leaned forward, his fingers trapping your chin. “I’ll do anything you tell me to,” he purred right before capturing your lips with his for a shallow kiss. “You call the shots, baby.”
Your breath hitched; his hand came to cup your cheek. “Keep going, please,” you muttered, though it was not necessary, his lips were still on yours, giving you soft pecks.
Jeonghan gave you no verbal reply, but he kept kissing you anyway, each kiss tenderer than the one before. It made you dizzy, the softness that he put with every touch.
“Jeonghan,” you put a hand on the center of his chest, bringing a stop to his sweet kisses at once. His dark eyes locked with yours, giving you the confidence you needed. “Can you be rough with me?”
Upon hearing your request, he stilled completely. “How rough?” he asked, much as if he did not give a second thought to your words, nor pause to ask why. He knew this was what you needed.  
“Just do it,” you asked, your tone waning over the nervousness that kicked right in. “I promise I won’t break.”
“I know you won’t,” he smirked, diving for another shallow kiss, laughing softly at the low grunt you gave him in protest.
Then he kissed you again. Harder this time, showing you how much he had been holding back. Before his touch had been delicate and tender. But now, his kiss was forceful, passionate. He crushed your lips, making you muffle out a moan in his hot mouth. 
“Want me to fuck your brains out, baby?” he rasped, backing away to take a look at your face. The lascivious glint in his eyes was unmistakable, and so eerily familiar.
“Yes, please,” you mewled, your hands snaked from his chest to clutch at his neck.
Jeonghan sighed in your mouth. “You needy little thing. You really are made for us.”
“I am,” you replied in a frenzy, returning each needy kiss he planted in your mouth.
A hand pushed your t-shirt up to your chest, uncovering your tits to him. “Do you know how fucking much I love these?” he rasped, sending you a look before dipping his head to litter your skin with kisses.
His lips attached to one of your nipples, his tongue toying with your pebbled bud, to then suckle at it with a smacking noise. “Fuck-k, baby,” you mewled, your fingers tangling with his long dark hair, giving it a soft tug.
“Mmn,” he searched for one of your hands on his head, grabbing it and driving it to the mattress. No touching, he wordlessly commanded, locking his fingers with yours.
“Sorry,” you whispered. “God, fuck,” you squirmed helplessly, the back of his tongue teased your nipple, swirling around it and suckling at it hungrily.
His free hand fumbled your other breast, his fingers pinching and tugging your hardened nipple as his mouth continued to work on the other, making it sensitive. He detached his mouth with a wet sound, his eyes marvelled at your body for a second as he released your hand.
“Behave,” he conditioned before leaning down again to tease your other nipple with his mouth.
First his lips tugged at it, to then graze at it with his teeth, making a sharp hiss come out from you. You lowered your gaze, finding his. Jeonghan smiled at you, pulling his tongue out to tease your nipple, swirling around it.
You sighed out the pleasure burning within you, sinking in the pillows as your skin prickled. “Please… more,” you mewled, your hands clawing on the bedsheets. “Keep going, Hannie, please.”
The corners of his mouth lifted slightly, but the motion of his tipped tongue did not stop. His hands cupped your tits, making them bulge, and he lowered his face onto your chest. The low grunt that he muffled in your tits told you that he was enjoying sucking at your nipples just as much as you.
You closed your eyes, focusing on the pleasure building in the pit of your tummy, your muscles clenched in response when he sucked harsher, then changed to toy with your nipple with swift motions.
“Ha-hannie,” you called shakily. “I think I’m gonna come.”
For a moment, you thought Jeonghan had not heard you. He made no move, no sound to acknowledge your words. He just kept going: sucking, licking, pinching your sensitive nipples. Drool dripped down on your bumpy skin, the wet sounds Jeonghan made, paired with the low groans he gave you whenever you moaned. 
“Oh god… I’m coming,” you choked out, hands clenching around the bedsheets. Your orgasm flooded within you, it was quick and sweet, and even though the feeling was short, it had you panting. And wanting more.
Jeonghan hummed with satisfaction, leaving a kiss on each of your nipples before meeting your eyes. “Was that a first?”
You recognized where his game was going at once. “Yeah,” you sighed with a meek smile. “It felt good. I needed that.”
“Mn, princess, you’re such a needy mess,” he said gruffly, his hand caressing your bumpy skin over your tummy. “Is that why you can’t write, baby? Too much in your head?”
“Think so,” you replied coyly.
Jeonghan sat back on his heels, contemplating you for a second under the pale light coming from the window. “These need to come off,” he toyed with the band of your wet panties with his lithe fingers.
He hooked his fingers around the hem of your panties, pulling them down your legs with your help, lifting your hips for him.
“No, not that. Keep that on,” he instructed when he caught sight of your hands trying to get rid of your t-shirt.
Then he stretched one arm, reaching for something on the nightstand. Your heart stammered when he grabbed his phone. “Are you ready for this?” he asked, sending you a glance.
“Yeah,” you replied.
The flash of the camera hit your eyes, making you squint at it. But you quickly adapted, seeing Jeonghan’s fascinated face behind his phone as he directed it to your naked body. He caught on video everything he liked to see: your face, your tits smeared in his spit, and your pussy.
“You got so wet, baby,” he mumbled, making a trail with the tips of his fingers from your bellybutton to your mound, caressing it. “Baby needs to be fucked everyday, or she can’t function properly. Right, princess?”
The white light returned to your face, you nodded. “J-jeonghan!”
His fingers continued trailing down, finding your pussy lips spread open. “So fucking wet,” he sighed in awe, dipping one finger in your pooling entrance. “You got like this just by playing with your tits a little…”
Another finger joined in, pushing inside your throbbing walls as the phone captured it in video.
“Jeonghan,” you protested. “Please, just fuck me.”
“Stay still, baby,” his voice was low whenever he gave you a command, and that way you knew not to challenge him again. “I’ll give you what you want if you promise to be good.”
You sighed in frustration. “I promise,” you hated the way your voice sounded.
That seemed to please him. The flash of the camera went off, Jeonghan tossed his phone on the bed near your body, pulling his fingers out of your pussy.
The loss of stimulation had you protesting with a lewd whine. “So impatient,” he tutted. Then he nodded his head at you. “Knees up.”  
His hand pushed on the back of your leg, making your chest compress a little right before he dipped his head to your needy pussy, his tongue swiping a line between your folds. Your muscles tightened under the overwhelming sensation of his tongue licking your arousal, drinking you in.
“Fuck,” you gritted, your hands flew to grab your own legs to keep yourself in place for him.
You heard a muffled laugh, his breath fanning your wet pussy causing you to shiver. The tip of his nose bumped against your clit as his tongue sank inside you, then retreated, only to dive in again, his face pressed flush against you, fucking you with his tongue.
A strangled gasp escaped you, his tongue left your pussy and was quickly replaced by his fingers, slipping them in until he was knuckle deep inside you. But his tongue slid to your clit, teasing it with swift jabs, getting it to swell by teasing it with his lips, tugging and suckling at it.
“Oh, g-god,” your body shook on the bed sheets, your eyes squeezed shut so tight you started to see colors.
The low hum he gave you was paired with one deep intake of breath on his part, breathing you in practically, his mouth unrelenting on your pussy. His fingers kept dragging inside and out of your throbbing walls, delighting himself with moans each time you clenched around him.
“Fuck, Hannie,” you mewled, pushing your head back onto your pillow. “Don’t stop, baby, please…”
Jeonghan pushed his face onto your cunt harder, groaning against you as his fingers thrusted inside you harshly, curving inside your walls and finding that spot effortlessly. Your mouth fell open, pelvis tilting towards his face. All focus, was narrowed to his mouth making out with your pussy, his fingers teasing that spot inside your walls.
“I’m there,” you sighed out. “Jeonghan, I’m coming,” you let out a long cry of pleasure, body shaking on your bed.
Your orgasm washed down your spine, burning inside you. His fingers kept thrusting inside you, his mouth helping you ride your high without stopping for a second to breathe. Just as you were coming down, he detached his mouth from your throbbing pussy, but his fingers did not.
“Jeonghan?” you panted.
His fingers kept teasing that spot inside you, the force from his hand on your cunt had started to make a single vein pop out along his forearm. “Can you give me one more, baby?” he asked, his free hand reaching for the phone he had discarded earlier.
“I… yeah,” you decided, holding your legs to your chest with your hands.
The camera flashed your eyes again. “Good girl,” he whispered, capturing the mess that you were in. It occurred to you that Jeonghan did not want you to remove the t-shirt you were wearing… he wanted to fuck you in it for Joshua to see.
He pointed the camera at his hand pumping in and out of your puffy cunt, the wet sounds coming from it sounded loud and almost dirty. His fingers picked up the pace, now teasing relentlessly inside you, making you gasp and jolt at each harsh jab.
“J-jeonghan!” you cried out.
“Careful, we can’t make too much noise, remember?” he smirked at you.
“I-if you keep going, I’m gonna… I’m gonna–,” you choked out, arching your back on the mattress as the hot liquid spurting from you landed onto his hand and the bed.
Jeonghan smiled, his fascinated eyes flitting from the screen of the phone capturing the mess you were making, to your body writhing on the wet sheets. “Tsk, messy girl,” you heard him say between the loud wet noises and your own breathless moans.
To see him smile sent you onto another wild frenzy. You moaned as his fingers left your throbbing pussy, his other hand tossing his phone heedlessly. Then, Jeonghan grabbed his t-shirt, peeling it off his torso with one swift motion.
“Remind me to put a towel under you next time,” he smirked, using his own t-shirt to wipe your arousal and his own spit from his chin, then his hands.
You sighed, embarrassment heating your face, but you could not deny that you liked this. And Jeonghan saw right through you. He leaned over to you, capturing your lips in a kiss, he smelled of you, and you could taste yourself in his mouth. The act was so dirty it had him swallowing your moans, your pussy clenching around nothing.
“Jeonghan… I want you to fuck me, please,” you whined when he pulled his head back.
“Do you think you deserve it?” he asked, his voice was low and slightly raspy.
“Yeah?” you smiled coyly.
“Why shouldn’t I edge you a little bit more?” he grabbed your legs, wrapping them around his waist, as he pressed his chest against yours, grinding his hips against yours.
The bulge of his hard cock pressed against your cunt. “Jeonghan,” you gasped when he ground against you harder, teasing you. “You’ve been edging me for days now.”
“You said I could do anything I wanted to you,” he smirked, his hand grabbing your jaw before pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. “
“But I want you now,” you mumbled wantonly.
“Don’t argue with me,” he retorted, the glint in his eyes giving away the playfulness behind his actions.
“Stop teasing me, Jeonghan,” you whispered, your hands holding onto his back as he kept rubbing his hard dick against you, smearing your wetness all over his boxers. “Please, I need you, baby,” you whined pathetically.
He dived for another hungry kiss. “God, you’re so fucking needy,” he protested, but his tone made him sound just as pathetic.
“Don’t mock me, Jeonghan,” you bit back. You should not have done that.
The slap came to your face in the blink of an eye, it was swift and painful, but the wave of both excitement and arousal barreled down your spine, making you gasp. Your widened eyes found his face, gaping at him as your cheek tingled.
“I told you not to argue with me,” Jeonghan laughed, and the sound of his laughter sent a wave of shame that burned in your face.  
A low moan escaped you when his hard cock rubbed against your swollen clit. “Jeonghan, please fuck me. Fuck me now,” you pleaded with a whiny tone, ignoring how pathetic you sounded, or felt.  
“That’s it, baby. Beg for me,” he purred, nibbling at your lower lip right before kissing you. His tongue caressed the roof of your mouth, making you whimper at the sensation.
Then you understood what he was doing, he pushed his boxers down, freeing his pretty cock. He grabbed it with one hand, one thumb pressing down his tip, directing it to your pussy. And just when you thought he was finally going to fuck you, he decided to do something else.
“I don’t hear you begging,” he said, fucking his cock between your pussy lips, making his tone waver. A low grunt escaped his lips, and you responded with your own.
“Please,” you breathed.
“Please, what.”
“Fuck me,” you mumbled, regretting the minute you asked him to be mean with you. But you could not lie to yourself, you liked this. You liked seeing his cock glistening wet with your arousal.
“I am fucking you,” he chuckled airily, pushing his hips against you so his tip nudged your entrance, but slipped between your folds.
“I need you inside me, Jeonghan,” you whimpered as his shaft rubbed against your clit. “N-need your cock inside me, please.”
“That’s better,” he sighed, retracting his hips to then sheathe himself inside you with one full thrust. He lowered the upper half of his body to yours, repositioning his arms above your head.
“F-fuck, Jeonghan…” you gritted as his cock filled your walls. You sighed in pleasure, finding his face with your hands to pull him in a kiss.
You saw something flash across the features of his face, making him groan as his lips met yours. “God,” he gasped. “I love how you squeeze around me, baby.”
“Y-yeah?” you breathed pathetically.
“Mmn, yeah. Your pretty little c-cunt feels like magic,” he shuddered in pleasure, grunting in your mouth before kissing you again.
“It’s yours, Hannie,” you replied dazedly.
“I know,” he grinned, his hand finding the back of your knee, pushing it to your side to hold you open for him. “You’re such a needy slut for us, right?”
A wave of arousal tore through you. “Yes,” you breathed. “I am.”
Jeonghan noticed your demeanor, your eyes glazing and mouth parting in utter pleasure. “Wait,” he stilled. “Turn over for me, baby,” Jeonghan pulled his body, sitting back on his heels as you reluctantly turned facedown on the bed. “Ass up.”
Then on your side, Jeonghan handed you his phone, the front camera was already recording. You grabbed it and searched for somewhere to place it, deciding for to put it against the lamp on your bedside table. You saw yourself on the screen and Jeonghan on his knees behind you.
Through the screen you saw Jeonghan sneaking a hand between your body and his, then felt the tip of his cock searching for your entrance. A strangled moan came out of you as he sheathed himself in, a hand pushing your lower back down for you to tilt your pelvis for him.
“God,” he groaned, his head lolling back, grabbing your hips with his hands as he fucked you slowly.
You were too entranced by watching his face through the recording to focus on his cock massaging your walls.
“You feel so fucking good, princess,” he swallowed a moan, making his throat bob. 
“Y-you too, Hannie,” you responded faintly, lowering your face back onto the bed covers to see him through the screen of his phone.
“No, no. I want Joshua to see your face,” Jeonghan rasped, grabbing you by the hair, pulling your head upward with little to no heed for you.
The sheer thought of Joshua seeing this made you clench around Jeonghan’s cock. He moaned in response too, his fingers digging into your skin, squeezing your ass firmly as his other hand kept pulling your hair.
“Jeonghan,” you called breathily, the hard thrusting had you panting already. The rails of your bed banged against the wall with the pacing of his thrusts. “Harder. Fuck me harder.”
Jeonghan laughed, ignoring you completely. He pulled your hair firmly, making sure the camera captured your teary eyes. “Jeonghan, please.”
“Alright, alright,” he conceded, placing his hands on the middle of your spine, pushing your chest onto the mattress. “You asked for it.”
You could no longer see yourself on the video, your face was mushed against the covers, giving you space to cry out as Jeonghan started pounding on you. The brutal pace of his thrusts knocked the air out of you, the sound of skin slapping against each other was the only thing you could hear above your muffled cries.
“Jeonghan!” you forced out, your sweet release flooding inside your body. “Oh, god, Hannie…”
“That’s it, baby,” he rasped. “God. Keep squeezing me like that,” his hands clenched on your ass, switching the motion to his hands, fucking you on his cock instead of moving his hips. “Fuck,” he gritted with a sigh. “Yeah, just like that…”
You gathered yourself, breathing in slowly as you lifted your head. In the screen of his phone, you saw him looking at your body, moving your hips to meet with his languidly.
“Hand me the phone, baby,” he made a motion with his head.
You reached for his phone in your nightstand and passed it to him, turning your head to see what he was doing. He was now pointing the camera lens to your ass, and you knew that he was capturing your messy cunt, filled with his cum as he kept pushing his cock inside you.
He was panting when he tossed the phone one final time. “Are you okay?” he asked breathlessly. “Want more?”
You shook your head. “I’m sensitive,” you admitted. And you were so tired that all you wanted now was to rest in the pleasure he had given you.
Jeonghan nodded, caressing your ass gently before pulling out of you. “Lie down, baby,” he muttered as you just eased onto the bed with a tired sigh. “I’ll bring you something to clean up, hold on.”
The bed shifted around you when he climbed off the bed and exited the bedroom. You closed your eyes, breathing out in pure bliss, enjoying how languid your body was after being pleasured over and over.
You heard him come in. “Turn over for me, princess,” he mumbled with a sweet voice. He had a towel in his hand, soaked in warm water. “What do you need?”
“Sleep,” you slurred out. 
Jeonghan nodded. “Do you have clean blankets?”
“In the closet,” you said, pointing to the double doors in the bedroom.
Jeonghan got a bundle of blankets, spreading them over your naked body to then slip beneath them and next to you. As you searched for his body to hold him, you realized that he had not slept naked with you before.
“Thank you, Jeonghan,” you hummed happily, wrapping your arms around his torso.
“For what, baby?”
“For taking care of me,” you mumbled, your heart swelling with warmth and love. “And for fucking my brains out.”
Jeonghan chuckled, his hand brushing your hair slowly. “Anything for you.” 
“Do you think we’ll get another noise complaint after this?” you asked sluggishly.
“If they come to the door, I’ll deal with it,” he said decidedly. “Sleep for now.”
You lifted your head to give him a kiss. “Goodnight, baby.”
Jeonghan gave you a sweet smile. “Goodnight, princess.”
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“We have a date tonight,” Jeonghan announced the morning after.
“We do?” you asked. “You know, I’d appreciate it if you invite me out with more time in advance.”
“I forgot to tell you last night… you kept me busy,” Jeonghan rasped sleepily, his arm wrapped your back, his fingers trailing gently down your spine.
“So it’s my fault,” you laughed.
“We’ve talked about this,” he slurred out, but a lazy smile spread on his lips. “Everything is your fault.”
“Maybe last night was my fault,” you conceded playfully, lifting your head from his chest. “Where is the date?”
“Mmn, I don’t know, I have to ask,” he mumbled, his eyes were closed but you noticed his heavy lashes shaking slightly.
“Ask?” you inquired.
“It’s a double date,” he explained, peeling one eye open.
“Oh,” you gasped. “With whom?”
“My best friends,” he said with ease, but you knew how this important was to him.
“You have a lot of best friends, baby,” you chuckled.
“Mmn, yeah, you’re right,” he said, his voice was still lazy, but he had gained more lucidity. “These are friends I met in school, while I was getting my degree.”
“Exciting,” you smiled at the way the features of his face were lax in the serenity of his sleep.
“What?” he noticed, his lips pouting slightly as he asked: “What, why are you looking at me like that?”
“I like your face, handsome,” you mumbled sweetly, running the tip of your finger down the bridge of his nose.
Jeonghan looked confused for a second. “I like your face too, beautiful,” he whispered.
The effect his words had on you made you freeze in place. You leaned to plant a small kiss on his lips, which he reciprocated with a low hum.
But then you were turning around, reaching for your phone on your bedside table to check if you had any updates from Joshua. He had replied to your last few texts, telling you excitingly that he had a date for you to visit him soon. And that he could not wait to see you again.
“That reminds me,” Jeonghan sighed, reaching for his own phone on the bedside of your side of the bed.
The videos. As soon as he unlocked his phone, the sounds from the night before flooded your ears: your whiny moans, the sounds of skin slapping together. Jeonghan wrapped one arm around your waist as you leaned your head on his shoulder and watched the videos you recorded together.
You hid your face flush on his shoulder when you saw a few seconds of one of the videos, making your insides twist in utter shame. “Oh god,” you groaned.
Jeonghan rested his hand on the back of your head. “What?” he asked, shifting his face to take a look at yours.
“It’s so…” you made a motion to the video playing on the screen, grimacing at the lewd sound of your moans.
“Hot?” Jeonghan lowered the phone after hitting Send with his thumb, sharing the videos to your boyfriend with nothing else to say in the message, no preamble whatsoever.
“Can I see?” you mumbled, extending your palm.
“Sure,” he deposited his phone in your hand without hesitation.
The videos were saved in a secret folder that he shared only with Joshua, you realized. “You were quick,” you said. He must have created the folder after recording he fucked you in a changing room.
“I don’t want them to fall on the wrong hands, princess,” he muttered, lazily drawing in a breath before yawning.
“Mmn,” you swiped your finger through the set of videos. You saw your face in so many of the frames captured. “Can I have access to this too?”
“Of course, baby,” he giggled sweetly. “I should’ve asked, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you mumbled, aimlessly fidgeting with Jeonghan’s phone. You went back to the main folder where he kept all of the photos he took.
Jeonghan did not stop you, so you dived in the rows of snapped memories. Most of the photos were of himself with his friends, photos you helped him take, photos with you… Joshua.
The tip of your finger chose a photo, almost as if it had a mind of its own. “Where is this from?” you asked.
Jeonghan had chocolate brown hair in the photo, his head leaned on Joshua’s shoulder. The smile plastered on his face was sweet, two fingers in a peace sign held to the camera. Whereas Joshua had a pale bond hair, also smiling and holding a peace sign.
“That was… I think it was one of the first times I saw one of his shows,” he said, coughing a laugh. “He was a complete mess. He wasn’t the confident sexy rockstar you know now.”
“Mmph,” you smirked. “So you think he’s sexy?”
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The restaurant was located on top of a hotel building. The tables were beautifully flanked by water gardens, lamps hanging from the open ceiling, illuminating everything with a warm orange glow.
“They’re usually late,” Jeonghan explained. But this was not said with his nonchalant and characteristic way. He anxiously looked around the tables with a pout on his face.
The air was damp, urging you to fan yourself with your hand in slow, lazy motions. Jeonghan wore a white shirt, unbuttoned all the way through, a white tank top underneath it. His long dark hair tucked behind his cute ears, he chewed on his lip.
“Are you nervous?”
His fleeting gaze fixed on your face. “A little,” he admitted, giving you a meek smile.
“Should I worry?” you raised your eyebrows.
“No, baby, not at all,” he slipped a hand under the table, finding your thigh to five it a squeeze.
“Okay,” you sighed, returning the smile he had given you.
Then you saw a familiar face, something helped by the fact that you had scrolled through Jeonghan’s photos on his phone. It was a friend of both Joshua and Jeonghan’s, but apparently so, Jeonghan had met this person long before Joshua did.
“They’re here,” he announced with a shaky mutter, standing up as the couple approached the table.
Then, with the nervousness that you had never seen in him before, he introduced you to his friends by name, sending you a glance. He probably saw the nervousness mirrored in your eyes, but somehow his confidence was restored upon mentioning that you are his girlfriend.
The man that was introduced to you as Choi Seungcheol blinked from your face to Jeonghan’s one time only. There was something exchanged there, but it was quite obvious that the man was not understanding this. The thought of this going badly set your nerves on fire.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” his girlfriend stepped in quickly, reading the situation too. 
“Baby, why don’t you go with Cheol’s girl to see the water gardens?” Jeonghan cut in, giving you a knowing look.
You paused before nodding with evident reluctance, stepping away from the table, leaving both men to have a moment alone.
“What the fuck?” Seungcheol whispered, looking around the tables to avoid dragging attention in. So he sat down.
Jeonghan returned to his seat too. “What?” he shrugged, pulling out his vape pen from his pocket.
“Why do you have the same girlfriend as Joshua?” as soon as the words left his mouth, Seungcheol grimaced.
“Because she is Joshua’s girlfriend,” Jeonghan replied with faux nonchalance, drawing a long stroke from his vape pen.
“Gimme that,” his friend gritted, yanking the vape pen from Jeonghan’s grip. “Jeonghan, I’m being serious,” he regained some control before asking: “Is she your girlfriend?”
Jeonghan exhaled slowly, trying to keep his heartbeat steady. “Yes, she really is my girlfriend,” he replied. “We’re both dating her.”
Seungcheol blinked, looking at his girlfriend in the distance walking alongside you. You both are looking quite friendly with each other, laughing, and chatting. “So, when you told me that you found someone, you meant…”
Jeonghan hated this, he hated to be open and vulnerable about his feelings. But this was Seungcheol. Jeonghan could not hide from him, and he did not want to.  “We’re all in a relationship, us three… It’s complicated,” he choked up a little, rolling his eyes to the sky. “I love her.”
For a moment, both men were lost in thought.
“Are you happy?” Seungcheol asked.
“I am,” he forced out. That was a lie; Jeonghan was not fully happy. There were somethings he still needed to figure out with you, with Joshua. But in that evening, he felt happy.
“That’s all I need to know,” Seungcheol sighed, pushing his hair back with one hand.
“Good,” Jeonghan agreed. “Can I have that back?”
Seungcheol rolled his eyes, giving the vape pen back. “You know, you’ve always been really weird, you and Joshua.”
This made Jeonghan tilt his head to one side “Weird how?”
Seungcheol shrugged. “I noticed it before but never said anything. When we get together, talking, or playing a game… something always made me think about it. It’s like you two share one mind. It’s creepy.”
“Pffft,” Jeonghan broke into a chuckle. “Alright.”
“What? You move at the same time, you finish each other’s sentences! It’s weird!” Seungcheol protested with a pout.
“Let’s order something to drink,” Jeonghan dismissed, raising one hand to motion for you to return to the table.
As soon as you sat down, you searched his face as he grabbed your hand again. You sent him a questioning look, subtly asking if everything was okay. Jeonghan laced his fingers with yours, giving you a reassuring squeeze with his hand.
And at that, the evening went on. Meeting his friends gave you another insight into his personality, and you were glad to find out that his friends were accepting of you. Soon, you felt a bit embarrassed for being so nervous before, as you realized that Seungcheol and his girlfriend were really understanding.
“Would you share a bottle of red wine with me?” you asked, reading the menu.
“I don’t know a thing about wines. But I trust you,” Jeonghan mumbled beside you. He chewed on his lip, absentmindedly mouthing the words his eyes were going over on the menu.
“You’re okay?” you asked discreetly beside him, darting a glance to the couple sitting across the table.
“Why do you ask?” he replied as quietly, shifting his gaze from the menu.
“You look worried,” you pointed, sending another swift glance. “Something happened?”
“Nah,” he discarded the idea at once. “I’m just thinking what to order, baby,” he said reassuringly, grabbing your hand to nibble at your knuckles with his lips.
“Let me order for you,” you offered, sweetening your voice involuntarily. “Something that goes with wine.”
His eyes triangulated to your own and your lips. “Alright, beautiful,” he smirked. “Impress me.”  
You gave him a badly coordinated wink. “I got you, handsome,” you said, laughing at yourself.
He shouldn’t lie to you, he reprimanded himself with a stab to his heart.
“Oh, shoot,” you muttered under your breath, getting your phone from your handbag. Jeonghan knew who it was before he even thought to glance at the screen. “I’ll be right back. Order, these,” you pointed with your finger at the menu, pressing the phone to your ear.
“O-okay,” he stuttered, watching you leave the table to take Joshua’s call.
Jeonghan hid his reaction behind the menu, but he knew Seungcheol was looking. The man was resting his chin on his hand, and Jeonghan wished that he just spoke what his eyes were trying to say. It would have been better that way, instead of suffering the weight of his dark gaze. 
But he ordered the bottle of wine and pasta that you pointed to before leaving.
The order arrived just as you were returning to your seat. Jeonghan made no question, no comment about Joshua’s call, like he usually did. But instead, he just grabbed your hand, giving it a comfortable squeeze before raising his wine glass and giving it a generous gulp.
Jeonghan made a face.
“What, you didn’t like it?” you asked, taking the glass of wine to your lips.
“It was just a big gulp,” he said with shame in his eyes.
“Small sippy sips,” you indicated, lifting a finger in a knowing expression.
Jeonghan laughed. “Sippy sips,” he repeated, giving you a nod before raising his glass at you. “You’re cute.”
You touched his glass with your own. “Try it again.”
Jeonghan took another sip cautiously, letting the rich taste of wine linger on his tongue as he savoured it. “It’s fine,” he decided, nodding approvingly.
“It’ll taste better with the food,” you pointed at his plate with your fork.
You ignored the two pairs of eyes watching your interaction with Jeonghan, smiling at him as he experimentally took a bite from his plate of pasta, chewing graciously and washing the flavours with the red wine.
“I like this,” he said contently, giving you a loving smile.
“See, I told you,” you replied in kind.
As the minutes passed, Jeonghan began to loosen up. His shoulders slacked, leaning back in his chair as he downed the first glass of wine and pouring himself another without you noticing. The warm glow of the lights above showed the light dewy layer of sweat on his forehead.
“Are you hot?” you asked innocently, setting your empty glass on the table, leaning towards him.
“You are hot,” he replied, breaking into a hearty chuckle.
“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes. “Not here.”
Choi Seungcheol lifted his head, frowning lightly at the pronounced sound of Jeonghan’s laughter, but made no comment. Jeonghan’s lucidity had started to wane, and only a keen eye like Seungcheol’s would notice.
“Let him have fun,” his girlfriend advised him, giving him a gentle nudge with her elbow.
Seungcheol nodded, visibly discarding his worry away with a light shaking of his head. “So… how did you two meet?”
Everyone on the table noticed that the question was good in nature, harmless, but indirectly putting you in a tight spot.
“Joshua introduced us,” you explained, ignoring the groan from the other two displeased parties. “He wanted me to meet his best friend.”
“How does it work?” Seungcheol asked, ignoring the more aggressive jab of his girlfriend’s elbow. “Sorry, I have to ask. I need to know.”
“It’s okay,” you assured. “I realize how this is confusing; it was for me too. But we just work it out. Make sure that it’s all fair for everyone in the relationship. It’s still all new but I’m glad we made this choice.”
Jeonghan placed a hand on your thigh in a subtle gesture of thanks. You eyed him, noticing the light glow in his face, the rosy cheeks, and lips.
“It seems like a difficult choice to make. How did you arrive at it?” now Seungcheol’s girlfriend asked, equally as curious. And you only understood it as them caring out for their friend.
“We had a threesome,” Jeonghan blurted, a bemused smile plastered on his face.
You realized too late, that as the night had worn on, Jeonghan’s demeanor had changed, from being rigid and nervous to being less coherent, and more reckless.
“You’re drunk,” Seungcheol sighed, dropping his forehead onto his palm at Jeonghan’s chuckles. He had been blunt in order to stop them from asking more questions.
“How much did you drink?” you asked him, taking in his flushed face, his glazy and unfocused eyes.
“I don’t know. A whole bottle, maybe,” he admitted with a slurry speech, a light frown on his sweaty face. “I’ll be right back.”
He grinned sheepishly as he excused himself from the table, walking disjointedly to the bathroom.
“I’ll take you home,” Seungcheol told you, motioning to a waiter to bring the bill.
“No, it’s okay,” you shook your head. “I’m okay, I can take his car.”
Seungcheol stilled, cocking one eyebrow at you. “He lets you drive his car,” he pouted sulkily, looking at his girlfriend. “He doesn’t even let me go near the wheel.”
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“Come on,” you struggled to get the tall man through the hallway of his apartment, nearly dragging him into the marbled floors until you reached the master bathroom. You giggled nervously when his shoulder bumped against the doorframe, making him groan in pain.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he mumbled some seconds after, making you think that the alcohol had set deeper in him during the ride to his home.  
“Help me, Hannie,” you giggled at his clumsiness.
“Don’t you laugh, I’m drunk!” he pouted, his eyebrows pushed inwards in a cute frown.
“Sorry,” you sighed with a smile. “You’re a big baby,” you explained, groaning as you helped him sit down on the rim of the bathtub, you swiftly turned the shower on and kicked your heels to one corner of the big bathroom. Jeonghan languidly raised his head to follow your movements, tilting his head back to look up to see your face. “Let me take these off, okay?”
He blinked slowly, taking some seconds in to process your words, biting his lower lip, he nodded.
“Don’t get any ideas,” you whispered, but could not help to also mask your smirk as you worked to get his white shirt off.
Jeonghan smiled, giggling goofily. “Caught me,” he muttered, raising one hand to clutch your wrist, looking now at your arms working to get his clothes off. “You’re very beautiful.”
“Tha-thank you Jeonghan,” you awkwardly replied. “You're beautiful, too.”
That made him chuckle again, slowly, but it was a joyless laugh. “That’s not what you said earlier,” he muttered, raising his arms as you peeled the white tank top off his torso.
“Did I said something earlier?” you asked with genuine curiosity, making a gesture with your hands, motioning him to get to his feet, which he obediently did, but with paused movements.
“Don’t play coy with me,” he tilted his head to one side, his half-lidded eyes now lowered to find your face.
“I’m not,” you blinked, but noticing it was just playful and drunken banter, you continued to undress him. “I–I’m taking your pants off, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, his head bouncing and then he smiled shyly, bristling when your cold fingers slid on his belly, unhooking the waistband of his pants to push them down. “God, I’m so drunk. This is not how I pictured this night going. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it,” you shook your head dismissively. “Are you okay though? Can you step in the shower?”
Jeonghan nodded, wordlessly moving to stand under the shower stream. He let his head hang forward lazily as he seemed to come back to life under the lukewarm water.
“Is the temperature right?” you asked, leaning against the wall, enjoying the sight of him standing upright, and tilt his head back, letting the water shower on his face fully.
His hands pushed his damp hair back, feet stumbling clumsily as he seemed to lose his balance for a second.
“Be careful,” you mumbled, quickly shuffling on your feet to ready yourself to lend him a hand if needed.
“I'm okay, I'm okay,” he tried to reassure you, but your brow did not relax. “I’d be better if you hop in here with me.”
“Jeonghan,” you said chastising.
“Alright, alright,” he chuckled, nodding his head as he washed his face nearly methodically. When he was done, he looked around and said: “Can you pass me that towel?”
You should have known better, from the moment he did not seem to be shutting the tap off, you should have just waited but you dumbly grabbed the folded towel and handed it out to him.
Jeonghan was swift, grabbing you by your arm and pulling you in with such a strength that you nearly stumbled over his body.
“Jeonghan!” you squealed, awkwardly steading yourself before you made him stumble too.
But he seemed to be fine, laughing like a kid playing in the rain, his hands grabbed you firmly by your waist, pulling you to him so you were now pressed to his body.
“That’s better,” he whispered, making you stop in your attempt to step out of the shower and raised your eyes to him.
“You’re crazy,” you half scolded but could not continue suppressing your smile. “I don’t have a change of clothes,” you mumbled, being swiftly swept away by the beauty of the man in front of you.
Now you remembered. You had called him handsome. You called him in the same way you did to Joshua routinely and although he noticed your clear mishap, he liked it.  
“I can lend you something,” he replied, his voice was barely a mumble. “Will you stay here? With me? Please.”
You quickly understood what he was doing, playing the same cards you did on him when you wanted him to stay the night at yours. You smiled at him knowingly and he quickly returned your smile, although his was relaxed.
“Of course,” you whispered, eyelids fluttering repeatedly when Jeonghan swayed your body in a drunken motion, the shower stream washing over you, dampening your hair and dress.
“Good,” he mouthed, pressing a lazy kiss on your mouth. Then his hands moved from your waist to remove the pin from your head, releasing your hair.
“Jeonghan,” you called when he pressed desperate kisses on your lips, trailing down to your chin and then your neck, breathing heavily as if tired. “Hannie, let’s get you to bed.”
“Mmn, yeah, okay,” he sighed, but he did not stop kissing your neck, lips pressing quick kisses. But then in a movement, he lost his balance once again, his body stumbling over, pushing your back against the wall. “Oh, shit, shit. I’m sorry,” his hands held onto the wall to regain some balance.
“Let’s go,” you insisted, blindly finding the tap with one hand to shut it off.
You managed to slip the straps of your dress off, removing the soaked material from your body and stepped off the shower, grabbing the nearest towel from the hanger and wrapped your body, handing the bathrobe to the very drunk Jeonghan who just followed you with his gaze.
“You look troubled,” he mentioned, much as if he could not stop his mouth. “Am I overstepping?”
“No,” you immediately blurted. “No, Hannie, I’m just worried about you.”
“Don’t be,” he muttered, squaring his shoulders as he adjusted the knot of his bathrobe. “I can do this, I’m fine.”
Then he turned to leave the bathroom with a slow pace in his footsteps. “Jeonghan, wait,” you chuckled at his determination.
You followed him out of the bathroom, across his walk-in closet and to his bedroom. Where you were mildly surprised by the minimalism of the space occupied by a lonely king size bed. It was neatly made, the white covers folded by the hem, pillows fluffed.
Then you realized, Jeonghan had not spent a night at his place in a while. He had been spending night after night at yours, just sleeping and leaving the next day for work.
Jeonghan stood by one of the sides of the bed, clumsily getting on it with his hands and knees crawling to slump down on the pillows with a pleased groan.
Hesitant, you approached the other side of the bed, sitting beside his body, thinking that he had already fallen asleep. But he lifted one hand, blindly searching for your body. He first found your hand resting on your lap, then he palmed your thigh, right before he moved his head to rest it there.
“I’m sorry, this wasn't in my plans for tonight,” he mumbled, his cheek was tightly pressed against your towel covered lap, making his words partially muffled.
“It’s okay, Hannie,” you sighed, bringing a hand to caress his wet hair. “I’m beginning to think that you like being babied.”
He chuckled, his body vibrating slightly on his bed. “Yeah, maybe I do,” he replied, moving his face against your body to nuzzle you slightly. “But not like this. I wanted you to have a nice dinner.”
“I had fun tonight,” you replied with a sweet tone, feeling crushed when Jeonghan pouted, turning his head to see you face to face. “I thought your friends were nice.”
“Did you really?”
“Yes, of course,” you smiled at him. “Let me take care of you, yeah?” you muttered, his dreamy eyes blinking confusedly at you. “I’ll dry your hair and get you dry clothes, okay?”
Jeonghan took a long second before nodding with his head in a stiff motion. “Okay,” he conceded.
Once you got him to wear some clothes you found in his closet, he slipped underneath the heavy white bed sheets and covers, motioning you over to his side. Jeonghan was quiet, the kind of quietness that no longer felt welcoming, nor comfortable.
You unwrapped the towel before sliding to his side under the covers, thinking that he was about to fall asleep. But he raised his gaze at you, and your stomach twisted violently when you understood that there was a reason why he had been behaving like this.
“I want to be more than your best friend,” he whispered groggily, struggling to stay awake. “I want to matter to you as much as Joshua does.”
“Jeonghan, that's not what I meant,” you breathed, chest deflating painfully upon finding what the root of his erratic mood was. “I trust you.”
Jeonghan decided that it was best to wait to hatch this conversation again once he was sober. You waited for his answer, but instead, he was surrendering himself to the fatigue that was accentuated by the alcohol.
“Hannie,” you called, but he made no motion. “Talk to me, please,” you whispered, shaking under the stress of thinking that you had hurt him with your actions.  
“It’s nothing, baby,” he whispered languidly. He should open up before he gets worse, he told himself. But Jeonghan was not a person who would confess his feelings first. His ability to think coherently was almost completely gone, and he feared to say something he might regret the next day.
“Are you sure?”
“Let’s talk tomorrow. When I’m sober,” his hand came to your cheek, whispering a sorry when you bristled upon his cold contact.
“Yeah, okay,” you mouthed, wriggling closer to him, where he received you with a kiss on the crown of your head.
But you could not fall asleep at the same time he did. You watched him breathing slowly, his heavy eyelashes tremble in deep slumber. You kept your movements at minimum, as quietly as you could, admiring his beauty without him knowing.
When you could finally fall asleep, you adjusted in his welcoming embrace, letting yourself ease into his warmth and leaving your worries for the following morning.
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Jeonghan groaned, waking up to a light, but throbbing headache. But you were buried beneath the bundles of white covers with him, peacefully asleep, your cheek squished by the hand you kept under it.
He remembered you tend to have a light-sleep when you wrapped your arms around his torso too. “Good morning, princess,” he whispered, sounding gruff.
Your arms tightened around him slightly before you moved your head back to lock eyes with him. You looked tired, but there was a calmness in your entire demeanor that Jeonghan knew that was not because of your recent sleep. It was something else.
His heart sank once again. Did he say something last night? What happened?
But you just pressed your lips against his, humming in delightfulness when he reciprocated the kiss. “I love you,” you whispered.
Shock, relief, joy. Elation. All coursed through him upon hearing you say those words. He knew just how much you had been overthinking, grappling with questions about fidelity, jealousy, hurt feelings and such. So, to hear you finally say it lifted a stone from his chest.
Jeonghan took one look to your face and smiled. “Well, look at that,” he whispered, teasing you. But he could not deny, he was over the moon pressing his smiling lips to yours repeatedly. “I love you too, princess.”
You smiled on his lips. “I'm in love with you,” you reaffirmed, almost as if it was relieving for you too to say it out loud.
Jeonghan laughed in your lips, shyly lifting a hand to cup your cheek. “I know,” he touched your forehead with his own. “I'm in love with you too. I have been for a while,” he whispered nervously.
“I know,” you giggled too. The truth was, whatever Jeonghan thought he felt, you felt it too.
“Mn, I know you do. You made me suffer a little,” he teased, his voice muffled by the closeness to which he kept his lips on yours, pressing them repeatedly.
“It wasn't on purpose, Jeonghan,” you replied with a remorseful tone, pausing the kisses to send you a saddened look.
“I'm joking, baby,” he cupped your cheek, moving his hand to tuck your hair behind your ear. “I wanted to wait for you to be ready.”
“Thank you,” you whispered shakily, denoting on how much this still affected you on an emotional level. “I'm sorry I kept you waiting.”
“I'd do it all over again,” he assured, his eyes reading your facial features slowly, committing to keep the glint in your eyes in his memory.
“I never wanted you to feel shunned,” you confessed, feeling emboldened by the honesty in his eyes, the softness to which he welcomed you in his arms. “I'm still thinking of how to make this relationship fair for everybody.”
“But this is fair,” his brow furrowed slightly, lips pouting slightly as he spoke. “I just wanted to feel reciprocated.”
“I know,” you nodded slightly, still looking at him in his eyes, which had something in his chest fluttering crazily. “I took my time to realize that.”
“It's okay. And it's all better now,” he whispered, leaning so his forehead touched yours once again. “I know this is hard for you.”
You nodded again, taking a deep breath. “Having two boyfriends is difficult,” you confessed.
“Yeah, I imagine. And it must be doubly difficult if both boyfriends are possessive, clingy, and obsessive, right?” he conceded with the smallest of smiles. “Maybe you should leave the thinking on how to make this fair for you to Joshua and I.”
“Mn, that would be nice,” you muttered, but you were quickly swept away by the softness of his lips, the way he hummed in delight as you kissed him repeatedly.
Jeonghan sighed deeply, nearly shuddering with the ecstatic feeling coursing through his veins. “I love you,” he whispered.
Both of his hands came to cup your face, squeezing your cheeks as he pressed more loving kisses on your lips. It made you smile the way his kisses took on a more hurried speed, as if he were trying to convey all his adoration before combusting.
“I love you, Jeonghan,” you replied when he stopped for air, deciding to keep his forehead resting against yours.
“I needed this,” he mumbled in between kisses. “Needed you.”
“I know, baby,” you admitted. “Me too.” 
Your hands searched for him while keeping your lips latched onto his. You found his torso, sneaking beneath his t-shirt. This time, Jeonghan did not protest against your touch, he let you touch his torso freely, roaming the skin of his back with your fingertips. You swallowed one of his moans, shuddering against you. 
“We never finished watching that show,” you muttered aloofly as you continued giving him open mouthed kisses, almost as if you found it impossible to part from his lips, and he very much welcomed it.
“What show?” he hummed, equally aloof, his hands were already on you. A groan tore his chest when his hands found your bare skin and he remembered that he held your naked body through the night.
“Love Island, I think is,” you giggled nervously when his hands pulled you to him just as he turned on the bed, lying flat on his back, with you on top of him.
“You think?” he asked, but none of you were interested on the topic of conversation, you and Jeonghan were all about to keep touching each other, unable to stop the warm, open kisses. “I thought we did.”
“Mmn,” you breathed out as you placed your knees on each of his sides on the bed. “They released another season,” you said right before diving on his lips for a longer, deeper kiss.
“Mn,” his hand cupped your chin, keeping you close with his pointer and thumb on you. “Wanna watch it, baby?” he asked, but his voice had dropped to a low, raspy murmur.
“Yeah,” you breathed out aloofly, then realizing how your voice sounded, you giggled.
“Right now?” he paused, his sweet brown eyes scanning the features of your face swiftly.
“Sounds like you have a better plan,” you quipped, running the tip of your finger down one of his cheeks, a soft smile spreading on your lips when you realized the lascivious need glinting in his eyes.
“I might have one,” he replied, a shyness in his face revealing itself in a smile and he finally giggle, making you do that too.
“Of course you do,” you quipped.  
“Come here,” he whispered, pulling you with his hand already on your chin for a kiss.
With that, Jeonghan came to his resolve. He was in love with you. And he was determined to make this work with you. No matter what.
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✮ author's note: hi hi hi hi there i really have nothing to say. i was thinking of explaining the dynamic between bunny and joshua, and her dynamic with jeonghan but i hope i did a good job of conveying that in this chapter so tell me what you guys think? hehe also, i want to thank you guys for showing me your love for this fic in the last chapter. i was losing purpose in writing and seeing you guys show this fic some love made me so happy. i thank you for staying and for being here on this journey with me. i love you all 🩵😭 anyways, toodles!! ✮ STAY TUNED FOR THE FIFTH CHAPTER!! ✮ JOIN MY TAGLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTERS | BUY ME A COFFEE? (●'◡'●) © RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.
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felassan · 2 months
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Snippets. 🐺💜 DA:TV spoilers under cut.
Game Informer reporter Wesley LeBlanc has mentioned that he will not be at the DA@SDCC stuff [source]
Saira: "i won’t lie, my very first council note for lucanis was “can’t wait to fuck puss in boots”" [source]
Jay: "And you killed it!" [on Alex Jordan's - one of the actors of Rook - post announcing his role in the game] [source]
Ashe: "say it with your chest HELL YEAH HE DOES" (context: Council members sharing that Lucanis' voice in-game does indeed sound like the actor's Spanish reel video) [source]
Erika Ishii might sneak into the actor panel at SDCC [source]
A user asked "when are the announcements of the different languages voices?" An EA Community Manager replied "We’re not ready to reveal everyone quite yet, but stay tuned!". [source: the official BioWare Discord]
In the Discord, the ask-bioware channel is for questions folks may have for BioWare. they can't guarantee that all questions put there will be answered, but if you have one it's still worth popping it in there as the channel helps them "for future Q&A sessions and the like" [source: the official BioWare Discord]
In the Discord, a user asked about pre-orders. An EA CM replied "Not yet announced!" [source: the official BioWare Discord]
In the Discord, a user asked about the release date. An EA CM replied "I wish I could. Gotta keep it under wraps until it's ready though!" [source: the official BioWare Discord]
EA CM Violet: "always stirring in the bioware lighthouse. hard working team full of passion ❤️" [source: the official BioWare Discord]
A user said regarding the talent lineup for Rook's actors, "This entire lineup is INCREDIBLE." Corinne: "So glad you like it! 😊" [source]
Ghil Dirthalen shared that she thinks Bellara "rocks- so excited for people to meet her ❤️" [source]. She also mentioned that Bellara isn't really like Peebee from Mass Effect: Andromeda [source]
Ghil also shared non-DA voice clips of the companion actors that she thinks sound most like their voices as-used for the companions in DA:TV. This is the clip shared for Taash, although it's not super-close as Caitie had trouble finding a clip of this actor. "but their voice in DAV is a lot more dead pan? In a good way though- Taash is fun!" [source]
This is the clip shared for Emmrich. "this is closer to the Emmrich voice than the other clip ive seen floating about. I would say less cartoony than this performance, but with the same voice??" [source]
Malcolm on Emmrich: "you might have to buy him dinner or something first. He's a classy guy." [source]
Bryce: "someone on Tumblr who follows me for dragon age content called this the Veilbus and I'm-" [source]
John Epler is heading to SDCC [source]
John on the recent Game Informer video: "not shown - the piece of wood digging into my spine for 45 minutes as i filmed this. me after: 'yeah i had a piece of wood digging in between two of my vertebrae' them: 'why didn't you say something?' me: 'i was on a roll and i didn't want to lose it'" [source, two]
Trick: "I thought I knew who I was romancing in DAI until the first time I heard Sera giggle. I suggest pinballing wildly between whoever strikes your fancy as you learn more about the characters until the game comes out and then seeing who wins your heart!" [source]
User: "I was wondering about tavern songs in DAI. There’s a song for Samson, but not for Calpernia. I was wondering if there was an in-universe reason for that, or if it was due to real world limitations?" Trick: "I think the tavern songs were about what the lyricist found interesting, so they weren't a sign that Samson or Sera or Harding was more important than anyone else." [source]
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re-colligere · 2 months
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The Gene Archives: All the Other Ships
More ship stuff, this time all the other guys that aren't fashion disaster <3
As per usual, warning for old ass art and a lot of images.
Fashion Disaster | General Art
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I. BRICKSTAR
I think this was my second favorite ship next to Disear back then. I still find them pretty neat (and the 2nd movie certainly added fire to the flames, im sure) but funnily enough it's not in the forefront of my mind as much anymore. For personal headcanon reasons. Still think the dynamic's very fun.
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II. JORILEY
um. APPARENTLY? ?? It was probably the heteronormative side of my head that somehow got attached to this average hwhite boy enough to ship him with Riley. I don't know how to feel about them now really...I think they're better as friends. Only half-related but I rewatched Riley's First Date? and that's STILL so funny to me I need more shorts like that actually. Please Pixar I'm begging on my knees I need to see other characters' emotions and stuff as the focus pleas please pleaseeeee
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This last one very much doubles as a disear thing, but this gets to be here.
III. JOYNESS
They get to have their own section because I'm not normal about them now, and this disturbing lack of yuri is unacceptable. This is a reminder of my crimes I need to atone for. I'm so sorry women.
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IV. THE OTHER SHIPS
Collection of other sillies that I didn't focus on too much, still think they're all adorable though :'] I think a majority of these were tumblr requests as well.
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Sorry I did the "Anger pulling Fear's nose to kiss him" twice. I think it's still a fun way to get Fear's tall n lanky ass down to kiss mr. blockhead over there.
Also, Sadness x Sweaters is peak actually!!
V. FANKIDS
There's not that much I made... I drew more fusions than fankids, and I'm putting the fusions in a separate post because I didn't exclusively design them with romance as the starting point for the emotions. Also there's a lot of drawings and I kinda want to fluff up the "general" post with more thangs in there.
Unsurprisingly, it's mostly the disear fankids. Surprisingly, there's also tearnerve babies in here. ??
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I've remade Revulsion in his own post, but he does have a little sister! I'm unsure of bringing her back. I probably will...
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Good lird....the anxiety.............
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pluraldeepdive · 3 months
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Let's Fact Check: Was MPD renamed to DID for Harmful Reasons?
(Disclaimer: This post contains descriptions of ableism and disbelief in plurality. I do not condone any hatred towards any person mentioned on this post. If you see anyone attacking them, please report them for harassment! This post was made to spread awareness, not negativity.)
In this post, we will be investigating the claim that multiple personality disorder (MPD) was renamed to dissociative identity disorder (DID) for harmful reasons.
Origins of the claim
This claim most likely originated from a (now privatized) wordpress blog post made in 2019.
Click here for an archive of the blog post.
In this post, the author is discussing a blog post they found that's written by Allen J. Frances, the chairman of an outdated edition of the DSM. After reading his blog post, they came to the conclusion that Frances renamed MPD to DID out of malicious intent towards people with MPD because his blog post states that he does not believe in MPD.
This wordpress post was later linked on Twitter, where many users began repeating the claim. As it spread across Twitter and other social media platforms, the claim has adopted several variations. Some people claim that Frances attempted to get rid of MPD entirely, some claim that he renamed it as a scheme to erase all plurality, and some claim that “DID” is an ableist or offensive diagnosis because of all of this. It seems like most of the people spreading these claims do not have DID themselves, however.
Click here for a link to an imgur folder showing examples of this claim in online plural spaces.
The post by Frances
Now, let's look at the blog post that was cited as proof that MPD was renamed to DID for harmful reasons.
Click here to read his post (TW for fakeclaiming and ableism).
This post was written in 2014. In it, Frances is expressing how he doesn’t believe in what he calls MPD. He personally adheres to the debunked skeptical models which suggest DID is created through therapeutic suggestion or is a “fad”. He talks about how he wished he could remove MPD from the DSM-IV, but couldn’t do so. The next best thing, to him, was to allow controversial statements to be injected into the manual. These statements were removed in the current edition of the DSM.
Frances does not mention anything about the diagnosis's name change.
Addressing bias & concerning behavior
First of all, it’s important to look into the author of the wordpress blog to understand how reliable their word is. The author is a median system who I found out, from the blog, is @/multi_sapphire on Twitter. She also runs the blog @/acting-nt on Tumblr, which is a fact known by many in the online community.
At the time of making her blog post, she did not identify as having DID. She is openly anti-psychiatry, as well. While I don't want to make this a big focus, this system also has a history in the plural community of being very hateful towards the DID label. I have had to make a PSA about them before for posting hatred in the DID tags (source). They are the coiner of the term "traumascum" among other things (source). Many, many PSAs have been made about her by other systems about various concerning behavior (source).
Frances’ post can be easily triggering to anyone with DID, OSDD, or plurality. It’s understandable how a system, who was already unfavorable towards psychiatry, came to think that all of the changes made to DID in the DSM-IV were done out of malicious intent. Let's investigate that next.
Addressing how the DSM is made & who coins names
For anyone who doesn't know, "DSM" stands for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It is a handbook used by clinicians to diagnose mental disorders.
The DSM-IV is an outdated edition that is no longer in use. It was published in 1994 and was replaced by the DSM-5 in 2013. While Frances was the chairman of the DSM-IV, he was kicked off the taskforce and has nothing to do with the current DSM. Most of the changes he made were completely reversed in the current manual.
The DSM taskforce is run by many people. Diagnoses are divided across different work groups who receive input and data from researchers that specifically research and work with people with those disorders. Suggestions are proposed from the researchers to the work groups, who then analyze this, conduct field trials, and propose changes that should be made to the DSM (source).
While Frances oversaw the taskforce, he is not listed as a member of any work group or researcher in the DSM-IV. This means he did not come up with any of the proposed changes to the DSM-IV.
Why MPD was renamed to DID
All of the dissociative disorders were renamed at the same time! All of them, except for DPDR, were changed to have the word “dissociation” in them. Researchers explain that they proposed this change in order to make the dissociative nature of these disorders more understandable.
Psychogenic amnesia was renamed to dissociative amnesia.
Psychogenic fugue was renamed to dissociative fugue.
Multiple personality disorder was renamed to dissociative identity disorder.
Atypical dissociative disorder was renamed to dissociative disorder not otherwise specified.
When it comes to DID in particular, there are two main reasons for the shift from multiple personalities to dissociative identities. Hersen et al. states the one of these reasons is that the term 'personality' defines "the characteristic pattern of thoughts, feelings, moods, and behaviors" of the whole brain (source). This is what makes alters identities rather than personalities. According to this definition of personality, having multiple personalities would mean having multiple brains! The second reason is that the older term emphasized the alters over the dissociation (same source).
In my opinion, refocusing on the dissociation rather than the alters allows people with DID to have the full spectrum of their symptoms recognized, and helps distance plurality from disorders. Many plural systems don't view their systems as the problem. Many systems don't have DID, either. The shift in this diagnostic language has made it much easier for that distinction to be made! It's very unfortunate that false claims have been made about this, casting more stigma onto both DID and non-DID systems.
Summary
To summarize everything:
The claim that MPD was renamed to DID for harmful reasons most likely originated from a 2019 blog post.
The author of the blog post was reasonably concerned about a figure of authority being ableist. However, their own biases against the DID label likely influenced their claim that the DID label was created by said figure of authority.
In actuality, that guy did not come up with the name "DID." Researchers are the ones who did.
MPD was renamed to DID in order to make it more understandable and put an emphasis on dissociation.
All dissociative disorders were renamed along with DID to include the word "dissociation" in them.
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x-liv25-jamieswife · 4 months
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unpopular(ish) tig opinions/mostly just me ranting
a few people have done this so here are mine (also just me ranting)
this one isn't super controversial but i don't really like alisa. she's nice and all, but the way she treats libby is just so weird to me and i can't bring myself to love her.
most people in this fandom are grayson stans but my fav is jameson. i love grayson, don't get me wrong, but i feel like his character is sort of overdone. i mean, almost all love interests nowadays are moody, broody, i never smile except when im with you. im happy avery ended up with jamie not just cause they fit together, but bc, for once, the love interest isn't the broody type (like i said, love grayson dont hate me)
i commented this under a post, and i don't think this is super unpopular but im lyra neutral. i literally cannot love a character unless i know them (i dont hate her either, i just don't have an opinion)
ok, this one might get me some hate, but, although grayson had the right to be mad in tig bc avery inherited the money, i do think he did go too far sometimes. there's this one time, where he was just unnecessarily rude to avery, telling her she didn't know what it was like to suffer (midway through to book, don't remember the chapter but its there and it makes no sense bc she grew up with no money while this dude is a privileged white man, like all of his brothers (except for xander cause he isn't white)). like i said, he had the right to be mad, but avery did nothing to him, and, so, he had no right to say some of the things he said to her. he does get better, and he does apologize (i think, but even if he doesn't idc cause hes nice to her now). like i said, he had the right to be mad cause i mean he did grow up thinking he'd inherit and he didn't, but he shouldn't have taken out all of his anger on her. he had the right to doubt her and think she had ulterior motives, but he had no right to accuse her of being a gold digger when she had done NOTHING to gray for him think that (dont take this as me not liking gray, he's one of my fav characters ever (but no one beats jamie (and nash)))
idk if this one will make sense and ik some people will agree with me if this does, but the way avery is treated in this fandom is really shitty. she's pretty much only mentioned when people are talking about the love triangle. she's bashed bc she didn't choose grayson (which she had the right to bc jamie was made for her and gray wasn't), her trauma is super overlooked. i wish people would pay more attention to her. also, i mentioned this earlier, but some people (not many but some) let other people (like gray and thea) get away will at the mean things they said to avery bc they're their favorite characters. (obviously, they can be your fav characters. my best friend's fav character is gray, and, when i first read the books, i liked gray over jamie for a small period of time, but its wrong to let them get away things just bc you like them.
people will agree with me, but jameson and grayson's trauma should NOT be compared. trauma is trauma no matter how "bad" it is (note the quotation marks around bad). ive mostly seen people compare jamie to gray saying that gray's trauma is worse which is so fucking mean. they both have trauma. they both have it bad. no one should be comparing. i will make a longer post about this bc this is smth i'm very passionate about and it pisses me off. (ive lost count of the amount of times ive compared my trauma to others thinking i had no right to complain bc others had it worse, so don't do it to fictional characters plsss)
the tiktok/insta fandom sucks. the amount of averygrayson shippers ive seen bash avery on those platforms is too much. the only healthy part of the fandom is on tumblr.
not controversial but thea is not a girl boss, she's just a mean girl. she's not iconic.
people should not bash people for their favorite characters. i've seen this mostly on older posts (like before tfg was released) but some people will go 'xander's my fav' or 'avery's my fav' and people in the comments would go 'but grayson exists' or 'but jameson exists'. let people like who they want to like. all characters are great (mostly, i hate thea and all of the bad guys).
i couldn't care less about eve's redemption arc. she ruined toby's life, and as someone who loves toby and avery's father-daughter dynamic, i will never forgive her. she also treated grayson horribly, basically got alisa kidnapped (cause alisa wouldn't have gotten kidnapped if eve hadn't gotten toby kidnapped), and more so if she ever does get a redemption arc, i will be throwing hands.
if i see people complaining about lyra's character when tgg comes out bc 'they were expecting someone different' i will be pissed. im sure lyra will be great (hopefully). it doesn't matter if she's a girl boss or more like rebecca.
grayson is not 'the most misunderstood character in the fandom'. he's literally the most popular character. people are constantly gushing about him and his trauma. other characters like avery, jameson, and xander (and others) are so much more misunderstood. no ones takes the time to understand them like they do with grayson. people are constantly talking about his trauma, and how people shouldn't hate him bc he's 'misunderstood'. people have the right to hate him, and his trauma isn't overlooked as the fandom's most popular character. he is a complex character, and i will be making in depth posts about him bc i find him interesting and i really like his character, but he's the most understood character in the fandom. i've noticed that people tend to say he's misunderstood right after coming up with the most nonsensical take defending all of his actions saying that he has trauma (trauma is not an excuse its an explanation)
even if grayson would've gotten up to help avery after the bombing 1. he would've never gotten there on time and 2. he might have gotten more hurt.
i said this earlier while talking about gray but trauma is not an excuse its an explanation. do with that what you will. i just have to repeat it.
people who claim jameson was not affected by emily are the bane of my existence (yes, they exist, i've seen them)
ik i mentioned gray a lot in this and it might seem like i don't like him, but i swear i LOVE him. i find his character very interesting and complex and i really wanna analyze his character once i'm done rereading. i just hate toxic grayson stans (most of yall aren't, but they exist)
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ramiecutesy22 · 5 months
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I illustrated 100 ASoIaF Characters
" A Song of Ice and Fire" is a series that has become rather (in)famous for its depictions of violence, and abundance of s3x scenes .and while criticism can definitely be made for these, it's important that we dont end up overlooking the important life lessons, nor end up with wrong takeaways from the story.
you see, at its very heart , i believe ASOIAF is a story of the human experience, as well as a commentary about the twisted ways of this world ( set within a fantasy backdrop). being caught in the middle of loyalties, ambition, Reputation, vengeance, culture, faith, and familial acceptance . its themes like this along with complex and relatable characters that youll pity and root for in one scene, only for you to be appalled by and flinch at in the next scene, is what i find so appealing in this series.
Spectacle, Political Intrigue and Character Drama (all present in the story too btw) aside , its a story that really makes you think ,reflect , and learn upon. and i love it for that!
so today , i just wanna show my appreciation to arguably the best aspect of this series: The Characters . for over a year now, i have made fanart for 100 characters from the series. some are major pov characters. some iterally appear for only 1 chapter. but all help bring so much depth and color to this story!
special thanks to:
@nobodysuspectsthebutterfly . your blog has been such a HUGE in help giving me inspiration and references for design and clothing . i also appreciate you reblogging art from fellow asoiaf artist to help give them a boost
@amuelia , i really love your design for Areo, and it was actually the basis for art for him! its only fitting that i give you credit
@whoknowsnugget . i was having a haaaard time coming up a pose for Asha when i first designed her, it wasnt until i saw your own fanart for her ( the one with her arms crossed while holding axes) that i finally found a fitting pose for her. because it was such a huge help, i figured i should give you credit as well!
@buildoblivionthenwewilltalk for being with the journey since last year!
and @squidprinceofwinterfell too, who is my other fellow asoiaf pal from tumblr!
..............................................................................................................................
i really hope yall like this one! i know this may really come off as unexpected, but ive actually liked asoiaf since 2018! ( with a massive revival of interest starting late 2022). as for THAT show, i have yet to watch an actual full episode yet hehe.
as for my account, let this be considered my proper comeback after months of inactivity. this project of mine played a large chunk for my absence, because i frequently get artblock coming up with a new post for every new character i make.
#asongoficeandfire #asoiafart
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speakofthedebbie · 2 months
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you (read: i) asked so you shall recieve: radioapple fic recs august 2024 update!!
the following are the ones from the last post w/some minor changes (think: misspellings and even more osas praising) (sorry for the re-tags!!):
Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis
just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it
Managerial Liberties by the same fella
these two tags explain it pretty well
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something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 4 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic. has the same vibe as bedtime rituals, but it is NOT a sequel
devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss
also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)
i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella
the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.
ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut
Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])
if youre even half the radioapple fanatic i am and havent read this, literally what are you doing?? i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, with some daily compliments sprinkled along the way, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i foam at the mouth every friday
Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)
if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. lilith is particularly an asshole even tho we havent seen her yet (or maybe we have. idr, mightve chatted with al) also emily is there (fallen) and has a lil smth to do with als and liliths deal. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)
Freely We Serve by @romanaxe
i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6-7 (rosies words) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)
A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)
this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s(30s?) au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and mimzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!!
The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli
{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}
basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent off for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)
somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)
this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace
new recs below!! ↓↓
Alastor and Lucifer do whatever the Hell this is (series) by Vagabond_Sloth (personally asked, no Tumblr, but they might make one 👀)
i know this is radioapple fic rec post but... *cough* Husk and Angel do a Romance for some soft huskerdust *cough* anyway- basically, a perplexing flower arrangement leads to a blossoming something between the resident radio demon and king of hell. seriously, its some good shit, and the author is really nice!
A Compliment A Day by @decembercamiecherries
spinning this around in my head at all times
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basically, a classic "charlie makes al and luci compliment each other as a bonding excessive" but it does not disappoint (check out her other three radioapple fics too)
a lovely night (lalaland is that you??) and pancakes, small talk by @mirotic_chess (X Twitter account)
in a lovely night they do a lil dancey dancey and in pancakes, small talk luci makes some pancakes!!
Sin and Sentiment and Time On My Hands by demon_fawn (supposed Tumblr leads to a dead end)
oh my god future debs here and i am so fucking tired of doing these descriptions but. um. the plot for sin and sentiment def seems very interesting and time on my hands is an incomplete (but good!) attempt at radioapple week. hmm not sure if they still post bc the most recent update was july 12th
honestly just every radioapple fic by @otoshigo (i think ive read all but Forbidden Fruit of the Poisonous Tree)
if you look underneath the little island that is radioapple, on god otoshigo is one of the creators holding it up. all 19 (yes, 19. we eatin good tonight [excluding forbidden fruit]) of their radioapple fics are fantastic, buuut if i had to recommend anything specific: A Guide to the Care and Maintenance of the King of Hell (fuck count furfur!) and The Devil's Trip to the Big Apple
not to continue the trend, but basically anything by @thief-of-eggs (even the singular huskerdust) but personal recommendations: Trust and Hair Pets and Let Me Be Your Shelter (sickfics 🔛🔝)
idk if youll catch me doing the descriptions for these anymore shit was exhausting
tagging time!!!! (i want to end it all)
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ragnviindrz · 1 year
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I like your writing so much. Can I request a yandere!Kaveh x f!reader but its somnophilia and when reader wakes up he doesn't stop and keep non-conning her? Sorry if its sounds hard to understand, English isn't my first language.
I understand if you're uncomfy to write!
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did you sleep well? // kaveh x f! reader
info: ever since you moved in with your cousin alhaitham, kaveh's had his eyes on you... but you seem to be oblivious to his advances and he takes you whilst youre a sleep instead.
this content includes: NONCON, somnophilia (unconscious people dont want tea), unprotected sex, piv, creampie, dacryphilia, spanking ig, p*rn without plot, drugging, panty stealing, hes cooch drunk, overstim (both parties), multiple orgasms
note: ive been CRAVING for kaveh stuff now, ever since ive started trying to build him and baizhu. tumblr stop flagging my posts pls :(
tysm for requesting, im glad you like my writing and ur english is perfect dont worry! <3
two more works coming in soon, sorry for inactivity as i'm so busy.
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Ever since you moved in with Alhaitham, being introduced as his cousin (with Kaveh being surprised because how can you be related to him?!?), he's always had his eyes on you.
He cannot help but jerk his dick whilst imagining it was your hand. You were just so pretty. He's even stolen some of your panties from the wash, using it to jerk his cock off and having to shove it deep in the bag to stop anyone from seeing the thick gooey liquid on it. Hell, he's even taken on the laundry much to Alhaitham's surprise.
Today, he insisted on making dinner - which the scribe wasn't too bothered on, as he just nodded and went back to his own thing.
Little did the two of you know, Kaveh had slipped something in your food - a drug that'll help you fall asleep so he can do whatever he wants.
That's how he's in this position right now, his face buried between your legs as he flicked his tongue on your clit. You were wet, and let out tired moans and whimpers. You've already came twice, but he hasn't stopped yet.
Unconsciously, your hips bucked to meet his face - more reason why he thinks you're enjoying it. His trousers were tight, his erection wanting to be free. God, he was so hard already. Letting out groans of satisfaction as he dived in your wet slit, he unzipped his pants finally allowing his hard cock be free.
He wrapped his hands around it, jerking it slowly as he ate you out. For the third time, you squirted all over his face. He thought the sight was absolutely stunning, his mouth and face dripping with your juices as he came on your sheets. He'd have to clean that up later.
Kaveh wiped his mouth, and kissed you deeply, shoving his tongue in your mouth as he aimed his erect cock against your wet folds and slid in. He let out groans in the kiss, as he came once again - this time deep inside your pussy.
This doesn't stop him, of course - as he slowly thrust in and out of your wet folds. It was easy, since he had prepped you before.
He pulled away from the passionate kiss, a string of saliva connecting the two of you before it snapped. His thrusts got faster, as you start to stir - though he hasn't noticed yet.
Slowly, you opened your eyes - feeling filled up and extremely sore. Your pussy unexpectedly clenched around his cock, squirting once again. Looking up, you saw your cousin's roomate - seemingly deranged and absoloutely out of it.
"Kaveh.. What are y— Ah!~" Your sentence was abruptly stopped as he thrust inside, hitting a sweet spot.
"Shh... F*ck. That dose wasn't enough to knock you out. Whatever. This is better when you're awake anyways." He grabbed onto your arm, holding it against the bed as he practically pounded into you like a madman.
"Kaveh.. Stop~!" You groaned out when he hit that sweet spot inside you. He seemed to take notice of it, and continued his never ending pouding. Some of his cum, from the previous load has been bulldozed out of your tight pussy.
"You feel so good.. I can't... Please cum with me.." He whispers in your ears, placing a wet kiss on your cheek. He kept hitting that spot, making your eyes roll back. His thrusts, although sloppier - still made you feel good. He removed one of his hand from holding your arm, and started to rub your clit in a circle.
Clenching around his cock even more, making him almost unable to pull out as he let out gasps. He watches your tears, biting his lips and his thrust got even more sloppier.
After three more consecutive pounding, you two came together. Clenching hard against his hard dick, he finished inside you again. He teared up from the overstimulation, but he kept himself buried inside your wet pussy.
He hoped that his seed would take...
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veryace-ficrecs · 5 months
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Jim Kirk Tarsus IV Fic Recs
This list will include all ratings and tags, so read at your own discretion! :)
Starfleet Academy for Gifted Youngsters by Ael - Not Rated
Starfleet Academy, home to carriers and mutants alike. Three years before Nero's attack on Vulcan, Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy begin to forge what will one day be a legendary friendship. A series of snapshots of how it all began.
More than Innocence by CasualBanshee - Rated T
Throwaway one-shot. Jim Kirk survived Tarsus with more than just mental scars and how that could change the events in the second reboot film.
sound as stone by starknjarvis - Rated T
The three people who figured out that Jim was on Tarsus IV.
A Star To Light The Way (In which Jim never thought he’d live past 22, anyway) by AlyssiaInWonderland - Not Rated
A fic based around the following prompt excerpt on Tumblr: “So, captain,” she began, eyeing him mischievously. “Where would you be if you hadn’t joined up?” Jim shrugged nonchalantly, pursing his lips for a moment in thought. “Dead probably,” he finally replied, lightly but absolutely serious– oblivious to the shocked expressions of his crew around him. “Or halfway to it in a bar in Iowa somewhere.” Or, Nyota's journey from first meeting Kirk, to loving Jim, through three, increasingly angsty, incidents spanning Academy Era to post 2009 film.
Predetermined by BonesOfBirdWings - Rated T
James T. Kirk always goes to Tarsus IV - because George Kirk can die, Vulcan can be destroyed, and Jim can be resurrected, but Tarsus IV is immutable. OR - An exploration of the fanon fact that Jim always experiences the massacre on Tarsus IV, no matter the universe.
i think i'll keep you (like a secret) by hoosierbitch - Rated T
Bones came to Starfleet with a hell of a lot of baggage. Jim came empty handed.
Over Exposure by SadieYuki - Rated T
Jim would much rather deal with an army of assassins wielding pine nuts over having to weather the storm caused by this single video.
Five times Jim talked about Tarsus and one time Nyota heard him by jenny_wren - Rated M
Jim is not exactly over Tarsus but he's over it enough to be casual about it, so times when Jim nonchalantly horrified someone by being casual about Tarsus
Theory and Practice by Writer_at_the_Table - Rated T
He's sitting stiffly, back straight and face utterly blank. There is no laughter twinkling in his eyes. She feels wary at the sight of him, this cadet who only superficially resembles the one she thought she knew. Starfleet Academy professor Anita Cornerstone calls Cadet Jim Kirk to her office to discuss his response on an essay assignment. The conversation they have is not the one she was expecting.
The prison of your mind by EternalSheWolf - Rated T
The kid takes him to the ground, hard and fast, and the knife punches right through his throat. The man gurgles and blood sprays, and the kid’s head snaps up, blond hair flying everywhere, as he gives the blade a final, savage, twist and pulls it free. He’d know those eyes anywhere. It’s Jim Kirk.
Recognition by jademac2442 - Rated T
Based on the TOS episode Conscience of the King. Post Tarsus IV. Riley is assigned aboard the Enterprise. He recognizes Kirk.
Once More unto the Breach by AnEscapeFromReality - Rated T
James Kirk was the rudest student Professor Heleine ever taught. He stomped out of the middle of the professor's lecture like he wasn't a mere cadet. Well, the professor was done putting up with him. If he couldn't sit through an expert lecture, then he should give the lecture about Tarsus. That would teach him some respect.
Linguistic Ambiguities in Vulcan Ethical Codes by elumish - Rated T
The thing people always forget is that it was a Vulcan ship that reached Tarsus IV first.
A trail of crushed laurels by Kandelaar - Rated T
Jimmy Kirk isn’t an old soul stuck in a young body, his teachers whisper, he’s sharp, jagged edges and a too-bright mind wrapped in skin and bones all glued together with his stepdaddy’s fists.
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justm3di0cr3 · 6 days
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Fav blog on tumblr and why 👀 (being moots dont count)
Sorry anon I got multiple (sequence means nothing)
-> @midnightmah07 : She is actually so sweet and understanding, plus her oc x canon makes me scream into my pillow because they are just that cute. Her art style is so unique too and I love how distinct it is. She was also one of the first blogs i got introduced to on tumblr so i feek like i continued using it because of that since my anon-ed interactions wuth her always felt genuine
-> @4necdote : GREAT👏 WRITER👏She was actually my inspiration to start writing myself and It really helped ne improve so I owe that to her. Besides again, the sweetest person ever cuz me crying because of smth nice she said isn't allat uncommon. Also her aesthetics are always top-tier.
-> @natsukishinomiyaswife : Great writer part 2 because her fics have caused me to need to go outside for fresh air and try not to scream my lungs out. Not to mention, she is very giving when it comes to her mutuals and cares alot about ppl who support her work (isn't prideful at all when lowkey she has a right to be cuz wdym u wrote all that... I thought it was some hidden masterpiece literature.. )
-> @boopshoops Ok can yall blame me for adding dear shoopy here? This feels like an unnecessary explanation because the quality of her art and writing speaks for itself. Another person who is so giving towards the community cuz I will never forget her taking as much ocs she could and making that 40 hour piece. I would've cried if that were me. Bailed half way so gotta pat her on the back for that motivation.
-> @oya-oya-okay : recently got introducted to her but I've seen their blog alot on my feed as a Black butler and twst fan. Somehow her art of azul is tolerable so much so that i dont scream roach when I see him on their blog but this isnt about 🔵, it's about Oya whose art and oc x canon are just pookiest, wookiest, cutest things I've seen. They are at 2,000 followers FOR A REASON 👏
-> @skibidibabygirl : i love her sm chat... Sobs. She is so fun and sweet to talk toand if you have interacted with her yknow what im talking about. The first time i saw her art, i ended up staring at it for a hot minute and I have a certain attachment to her ocs and blog. Plus as a POC, her to go above and beyond to make her ocs representative is commendable.
-> @twtysevapr : HAVE YOU ALL SEEN HER ART?? ITS THE PRETTIEST EVER 🙏 and she has made interactions so fun for me to the point, talk with our ocs (mainly marx, mina amd cass) is actually smth i look forward to sm that i cant put it into words. Besides im biased as hell and rapunzal has always been my fav so-
-> @le-monchou : this is my first tumblr moot chat and she is studying literature and it shows. First twst fics i read were from her and ive never been the same /pos. Sometimes i lay awake and think about that one fic she wrote for my oc x canon in an event of hers. Plus her sense of humor really resonates with mine (and we also live in the sane region) so it always makes me feel nice.
-> @catboiie16 : Cat is actually so sweet that my teeth are falling out. Her art is so pretty that it is actually my phones lock and home screen wallpaper rn amd she knows im not joking. Another thing is her way of writing and how she carries the narrative that encourages me to get better. Also sephie. Yes that is a reason and a valid one.
-> @seuing : she doesn't really post anymore but her art is so so shsjshs. The twst slander on her blog is smth I would frame. She has been my bff for two years and her art has sent me throu a spiritual ascension where I high-fived Jesus and had a tea party with the angels. Trust me if she posts art here again, you guys would understand.
-> @xxoomiii : This girl is so sweet and I love her design choices in ocs (curls that look like roses GAHDAMN ) ANDTEH WAY SHE COLORS HAS ME HOOKED. HAVE YOU ALL SEEN THE OUTFITS SHE MAKES. Actually so gorgeous that it hurts. Bonus points for being a Riddle kisser.
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pienhime · 11 months
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Ten Under-Recognized Jirai Kei Characters!
Ive been meaning to make a post on some jirai kei characters that i think are underappreciated by the overseas landmine community! Mostly i think its bc they don't wear girly kei, cybercore, or other fashions associated with us on SNS, and bc their media came out before 2020. So ive compiled a list and an explanation for why i think they're jirai! I have another list for pien kei characters who arent jirai in my opinion too. If u have any characters u think the western jirai comm sleeps on, comment/reblog and tell me who & why!
1. Celestia Ludenberg
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Celestia (Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc) has screamed landmine to me for like, ever! She's wrapped up in her appearance and at first glance makes the effort to come off as regal and formal. But she frequently lets that disguise slip and shows her sadistic side at the slightest inconvenience, threatening violence and screaming in peoples faces. She's got both a superiority complex AND inferiority complex, and has an unhealthy obsession with gambling, her super high school level talent.
2. Nijimin Anazawa
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Nijimin (Mahou Shoujo Site) is super popular in the japanese jirai comm, and its easy to see why. She's easily lovestruck and a borderline yandere (dependent type), murderous and hellbent on revenge, and her magical power literally revolves around manipulating others. She's a beloved idol and a symbol of cuteness, but she's a murderous magical girl? How much more jirai can you get!
3. Mayoi Ayase
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Mayoi (Ensemble Stars) is a very interesting character! From his obsession with the occult to his self depreciating behavior to his obsessive and stalkerish tendencies, he's an overall offputting yet charming guy. As an idol, he has fans who have a totally different image of him than the creep (affectionate) he can be at times behind the scenes. Also, not to stereotype, but his favorite sanrio character is kuromi, whos super popular within jirai.
4. Yuri
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Yuri (Dokidoki Literature Club) being a landmine seems a little self-explanatory to me. She's a yandere character who's probably the most unassuming of the cast at first. She's shy, smart, kind... and a self-harming yandere with a knife fetish who will literally kill herself if you get involved romantically or reject her.
5. Yoosung
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Wow, when's the last time I thought about Mystic Messanger? No idea, but Yoosung feels pretty jirai kei to me in retrospect. In the beginning of the game, hes the adorkable self-conscious junior with an unhealthy online addiction. But, by the end, he's a self-harming yandere who refuses to let the player character go, and is willing to do whatever it takes to secure a happily ever after.
6. Kusokawa-chan
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While I have an immeasurable hatred for her creator, Kusokawa-chan (Menhera-chan spin-off 4komas) is a comfort character of mine... for some reason. With a name that means "kawaii trash", her personality is probably predictable. She's human trash, a sadistic asshole with no respect for others who will insult and berate you at the drop of a hat, and turn on a dime on her fans. She tries to cover it up by putting on an exaggerated innocent act and kawaii-fying herself and her life, but she just cant stop herself from exploding on others with no remorse.
7. Azusa Mukami
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Admittedly, everything I know about Diabolik Lovers is through its fandom as I've yet to cave and buy the games. But from what little I know, Azusa seems pretty jirai. He seems innocent, fragile even- but has the typical amount of yandere tendencies for the series. He has a self harm addiction, and if you peruse his route you're in for a toxic time.
8. Satou Matsuzaka
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This might be cheating because she's so popular on yandere tumblr, but Satou Matsuzaka (Happy Sugar Life) is ultra jirai kei. It's no wonder she's such a popular choice of pfp on japanese jiraitwt! She's obsessed with living out a fantasy saccarine-sweet life with the object of her desire, and given her full-blown yandere nature and her lolicon status, its no doubt shes a toxic partner. She's beloved at her school and workplace for her seemingly sweet nature and cute looks, but her kindness is only for the purposes of manipulation.
9. Kosame Amagai
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Again, I'm no expert on Diabolik Lovers! But based on what my friends on yandereblr tell me, this guy is definately a jirai danshi. He's a lover of all things cute, who uses his cute shota-like appearance and polite manner of speech to lure others in. In reality, hes an abusive partner in his route, and takes his anger out on others verbally. He's willing to cry, scream, and threaten over the smallest of transgressions. Of course, he's also a yandere as per series standard.
10. Momonga
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Okay so this is only half-serious, but there's a reason Momonga (Chiikawa) is so beloved by jirai girls and often depicted fitting the visual jirai stereotype in fanart. She's ultra cute! But she uses her appearance and acting vulnerable and innocent to try to get away with shithead behavior. She's loud, erratic, and self-obsessed, and often cries when she doesn't get her way. She's obviously the worlds cutest little manipulator, and she knows it.
I hope you enjoyed this list! There's a list for non-landmine pien kei characters coming soon, so feel free to send me asks with recommendations! And feel free to add on to this list in reblogs and comments!
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gunpowderraven · 1 year
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critical role: by someone that hasn’t seen any of it
hi so we recently got into dimension 20 and our friends have been tugging us towards critical role for a very long time at this point but we still haven’t watched any of it nor do we know all that much about anything that actually happens in it. however we do intend to actually start watching soon so we decided it was the perfect opportunity to make one of those ‘all the things i know about this thing i haven’t watched’ posts, show it to our critrole friends, and then actually get into critrole and be able to look back and laugh about it later
also the images are all sourced via friend so this is all one hundred percent no wiki no google knowledge, just from tumblr and discord convos and stuff. and some cast compilation videos that were very funny
update: we are now watching cr3! liveblog tag for silly lb -> #cr3 lb
vox machina
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from left to right:
- i have literally no idea who the two halflings are. i’ve never seen them before in my life. what. uh. paladin and bard? im literally just guessing. who plays these characters. what
- grog? grug? this is travis’ pc maybe. also hypothesizing hes a half-orc barbarian or something similar? ive seen like one clip of him
- percival frederick von something something de rolo i think there’s a iii in his name as well, his name is long and very german but he does not have a german accent. or a french one. at separate times i have thought this character was german and french and then i heard him talk and was like. What. anyway i know he’s taliesin’s pc and he invented guns and is also possessed sometimes by big bird demon, and he has a nifty plague doctor mask. also tragic backstory. his entire family is dead i think. no mercy percy! he has a thing with vex? also his hair did a wilbur. the gay people on tumblr love this twink. i also think i love this twink
- vax’ildan! i think i may have actually spelled that right! half-elf? vex is his twin? and he’s... liam’s pc i think. yeah that’s it. he gives me angsty boy energy tho. not as much as percy but this boy has seen some shit. also he might be a rogue or a ranger who even knows. he looks like gay jon snow
- vex’ahlia which i definitely didn’t spell right. i think the next one is marisha’s pc so this one is... uh... laura? i think she’s the ranger actually. i think she has a bear. not like a gay bear like an actual animal bear. though it could be gay too i dunno. she has a think with percy. or everyone wants her to have a thing with percy. i genuinely can’t tell. anyway get that traumatized twink girl
- keyleth... marisha’s pc. some kind of spellcaster? maybe sorcerer? wild magic? she Also has a thing with percy maybe. or vex. or both. who even knows. everyone wants that twink. one time she threw herself off a cliff and turned into a goldfish and almost died and it was hilarious
anything else i know about this:
- there are evil bitches called the briarwoods and they might be vampires
- this is the one that got a tv show and might have also been the first critrole campaign idek
- d. ragons? chromia something. dragons. i hope i haven’t been lied to about the dragons. i hope there are actually dragons in this. there’s like a chromium something with dragon symbols tho
mighty nein
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from left to right:
- mollymauk! ...tealeaf? another taliesin pc. the trans people like this one. i don’t know what their pronouns are. but theyre slaying every time i see them at any time. no idea what class but maybe a spellcaster?
- ...beau? i know her exclusively through lesbian ship art so i know her name is beau something bc that’s the ship names but i don’t know if that’s short for something. monk? no clue. also no clue who plays her either. maybe marisha?
- i have seen this character but i do not know their name. or anything else about them
- oh this is the sad wizard boy caleb widogast. he’s gay for essek thelyss (or something. i didnt spell that right) who is a npc i think. yeah. sad wizard. every time i see him he’s just being a wizard and sad. the gays love him too but he’s more of a distraught otter than a sad twink. maybe he and percy should start a club tho. also i think he’s played by liam
- i KNOW this character’s name i think it starts with s but i can’t remember for the life of me. scriv? scrat? no thats the rat from ice age. possibly a menace? i think im getting them mixed up with someone else. they look cool as hell though
- jester!! laura pc i think perhaps. i want to get drunk with her and tell her about all of my problems. yeah. i dont know anything about her actually. beaujester exists tho i know that
- YASHA. CRUSH ME HOLY FUCK. sorry im normal ? her voice makes me a little crazy insane. ive seen a few clips of her. mostly gay shit with beau. uh she’s played by ashley and she could kick my ass very easily
oh my god there’s another photo
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- i think there’s only one character different here and it’s caduceus clay fun fact i hated this mfer for really dumb shitty personal reasons for a while before deciding it was very stupid to blame a fictional character for interpersonal drama and now im fine with him. wait does mollymauk die or something. wait a second. no, wait, fuck—
- ALSO WHO’S THAT FUCKER IN THE BACKGROUND I JUST NOTICED THAT
anything else i know about this:
- yeah i got nothing. no idea about the lore or the plot or anything bc i pretty much exclusively see gay ship art of these pcs. love wins i support it
bells hells
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from left to right, one more time:
- look my brain is just saying gertrude from dungeons & drag queens but obviously that’s incorrect. so i don’t know who this is
- or this! but she looks very pretty and i love the little... monkey... bird? pls tell me these two characters have some kind of wild opposites dynamic they look like they do
- LITTLE ROBOT GUY . fcg? fgc? i think it was the first one. uh. liam pc? ?????? i think he gets bitches
- orym...? i know one of these characters is named orym. and i think it’s this one. i also see gay fanart of him
- i don’t know who the guy underneath him is
- or the lady with the purple hair god i really don’t know shit about this campaign sorry
- ashton greymoore, taliesin pc, my friend luna loves this guy, he’s. rocks? he’s rocks. groovy.
- someone in this campaign is named like dorian or something and im guessing its this one bc idk who they are either
anything else i know about this:
- flying.......... ship?
- this is the ongoing one i think
thank you for coming to my ted talk, i can’t wait to look back at this in a few months and laugh my ass off. hope u enjoyed this mess
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