#i think they’d make great partners and parents and uncles and aunts

[sulevinen]

all the members of the catharsis squad survive the war and order 66 and the rebellion and have families..

question is, does that mean that my subsquad of the 190th can’t have the same?

[blorbologist]

Just barfing out my personal de Rolo quarter elf headcanons somewhere so I can keep em together and share them! Given I know mine are often a bit weird compared to everyone else’s.

90% of my thoughts have been about Vesper and Leona, due to writing fics heavily involving them, so they take up the bulk of this ahaha oops

EVERY one of these kids is queer, I don’t make the rules, it’s the law of the land.

My personal take on their ages is that Vesper’s the (accidental, oops) firstborn, the twins followed 4-5 years later, Dan a year or two after them (probably a bit of a honeymoon phase after the twins finally started sleeping through the fuckin night), and Gwen 4-6 years later. Vesper is the only one to really get a fair amount of adventuring done, so I could see her being Level 6-12 by the time she’s done while the rest of the brood end up around levels 3-5 depending on their niche and interests.

Vesper:

I am of the opinion Vesper is an Aasimar, because if my timeline knowledge is correct Vex was pregnant with her when she became Pelor's Champion (and if not, I think that's still enough to bless your bloodline enough for an Aasimar, cmon), and I highly doubt she experienced the sort of stress that made her dad go white by twenty in that Tal'dorei Reborn portrait. Plus, having an Aasimar eldest and Tiefling youngest is nice poetic symmetry <3

I decided to make her a Paladin of Erathis for a number of reasons. One, I loath seeing firstborn kids being perfect mixes of their parents' skills and specialties, and I feel the firstborn of two heros and leaders of a city would absolutely want to avoid being compared to her parents whenever possible. So instead of a DEX build like her parents, aunt and uncle, she's a front line STR heavy hitter. I settled on Paladin specifically to nod to Vax and to give her another way to separate herself from her lineage - because sure, her mom is Pelor's champion, and Pelor definitely blessed her, but that doesn't mean she has to be his paladin, too, so she turns towards Erathis instead. I also think she'd be Oath of Redemption, just because that subclass + the Lawbearer's whole thing both would help shape someone into a good leader, once she takes Cass' place at the head of the Chamber. 

Vesper’s very much an ‘everyone can be redeemed‘ person, as a logical extreme of hearing her dad’s story, and is fairly prone to black and white thinking with shades of grey frustrating her. She's also terrible with money, because please she's a noble kid of course she is, and it's incredibly funny to me that she and Vex would butt heads over this. However, they both fly together for short bursts (usually with a couple of the smaller kids with them, once Vesper’s big and confident enough to carry one with her), Vex on her broom and Vesper with her wings. She was initially very afraid of heights until Vex helped her out with that. 

She spends a few years in her early twenties adventuring, to learn how to handle herself and grow as a person. She comes out of this with a more nuanced understanding of life, and maybe she’s had to make a few hard choices of her own while out on the road she talks to her parents about. Vesper is also very close to Cass, though her efforts to distinguish herself from her parents, plus them both recovering from the trauma they’d recently endured when she was young, mean they’re not as close to her as the other kids. Vesper’s actually fairly close to Grog and Pike - Grog is a great sparring partner and helps her break down complex problems, while Pike’s ALSO fun to spar with while also being a religious mentor of sorts, alongside Yennen while he’s still alive.

A note on the twins, first: 

Leona, ‘Lonny’:

I HC that these are genuine identical twins, not fraternal twins as Vex and Vax or Whitney and Oliver likely were IF they’re cis (I’m very fond of trans Vax HCs but I digress). As a result, either Leona or Wolfe is trans. I haven’t decided which, but one is. Given they are identical and were almost indistinguishable as babies, in the chaos of the birth (kindergartener Vesper's wings poofed out the first time at this point because it was so Exciting) Vex is pretty sure they got mixed up once or twice and no one’s sure which one is the actual firstborn. Not that it matters, it’s just something she occasionally remembers that sends her into a fit of giggles.

No one is sure which of the twins is technically older, however Leona maintains that she’s the older twin so we’ll go with that. Leona’s being a little imp in the one art we have of her, and given the personality I have in mind for her I see her as being a Bard. It drives Percy completely fucking batty at times, but she spends a fair amount of time with Scanlan and Kaylie one Vox Machina dinner and that’s that. She is mostly an orator and singer, but can often be found playing a small harp (Laura Bailey, *harp music*) and looking deceptively innocent and charming before she pranks her siblings or some poor visiting noble. However, her real passion is stories and secret lore - she spends much of her time in the library looking for juicy details from history she can spin into song. I haven’t narrowed down College of Whispers or College of Eloquence for her, either could work imo! She would love Hamilton and Six the Musical, make of that what you will lmao

Leona is a complete and utter little shit. Her reaction to having important parents is to use that as an excuse to get away with all sorts of hooligan shit, because really what could they do? Her teenage years are directly responsible for Vex’s grey hairs, and she’s only interested in her dad’s tinkering so far as it can make fun toys to play with. Leona is at her least irritating when reading and looking for knowledge, though, so she and dad will spend long hour in the library chipping away at some question or another or bickering about which historical account is more accurate. Vex loves listening to her sing and absolutely eggs on half the trouble she gets into, and privately congratulates her on a well made prank once any offended parties aren’t looking and once her heartrate slows down. She’s a very weird balance of cute nerd and little shit, and smart enough to lean heavily into the former to cloak her intentions. Think how Vex would use her flirting and winks to get what she wanted, but less discrimination trauma and more Bard and Being a Lil Bastard Sometimes.

 She eventually has a bit of a crisis, realizing that because of her family she can get away with most anything and not let her grow for her own merits, on top of always being seen as part of a set with her twin. As a result, when Percy takes her on a diplomatic/Ugh Fine We shall visit Scanlan trip to Westrunn, she kinda. maybe. Runs off to join the Cobalt Soul. I’m writing that fic rn hands off :vv But long and short of it is she finds her calling with the Soul, caring for and finding knowledge and then sharing it in ways that actually stick in peoples’ heads. Maybe a bit of spying and information gathering of her own if she’s a Whispers Bard instead of Eloquence so she can put her nosy nature to good use. She takes a particular delight in either exaggerating or correcting tales of Vox Machina and no one can ever tell which she’ll go with in a given moment.

Wolfe:

Wolfe does not insist he is the older of the twins - however, he is the more mature, level-headed and not humble at all of the pair, so he absolutely implies Leona is lying about it. I haven’t actually decided on Wolfe’s class or subclass yet. I like the idea of him not having a lick of magic to him, unlike his Bard twin. However, I am dead set on Galdric (you know -  Purvan Suul’s ever-living wolf companion who now guards Whitestone and per the Tal’Dorei update can be a Warlock patron) having taken an interest in him. SO! I could see him as an Undying Warlock (because oh, man, the ties to Vax would have Vex so emotional), or a Gloomstalker Ranger hunting side by side with his mother and this huge fuckall magic wolf in turns, or a Cavalier fighter riding either a horse or Galdric into battle. 

Wolfe is very similar to a young, pre-trauma Percy, but with something similar to Vax’s bleeding heart worn on his sleeve. He’s a bit arrogant and uppity, but it all comes from a good place of trying to make his parents proud and being proud of his family in turn. His way of forming an identity of his own is really to live up to the peoples’ expectations of what he should be, and as the son of heroes, so he puts himself under a lot of pressure to be perfect (unlike his twin who deliberately fucks around). Vex and Percy reassure him as best they can that he doesn’t have to be anything, but they do appreciate that at least one kid isn’t causing havoc of somesort at a given time. He’s very much a ‘break a few eggs to make an omelet’ kind of guy, but he will cry about it after. Hunting in the forest with mom - using a rifle, not a bow - helps him get a better handle on his emotions. He likes shedding the expectations of court out in the woods, where it’s just him, nature, maybe one of his parents too. And Galdric, whose expectations are unknown to him. He’s very much in awe of most of Vox Machina and not close to them as a result, because he’s fairly intimidated. He IS the darling of Whitestone’s populace, though, and great at getting along with the everyman once he gets over his ego and lets his heart shine through.

Wolfe and Leona are not nearly as close as Vex and Vax, because that was 90% codependency as a result of the hell they went through and these two both have other siblings to rely on and don’t need an ‘us vs the world’ mentality to survive. They’re close by virtue of being the same age, but Dan is not much younger than them and both are closer to him than eachother. Which is kinda necessary - Dan keeps their contrasting personalities from blowing up into full blown arguments. Vex has next to No idea how to handle this, however Percy remembers Whitney and Oliver and is better equipped to help the twins sort out their differences. Tho one time a guy courting Wolfe ends up only being in it for the prestige and Leona makes his life a living hell, and Wolfe helps cover for Leona when she’s skipping lessons to read in some secret corner.  

He might very well keep Galdric’s patronage or protection or Whatever It Is a secret from his parents as long as he can, because he knows how it’d worry and upset them, so there might be some drama about that idk. Cass might help him keep the secret while he figures out how to tell his parents and what to do, to give the poor kid some breathing room. Galdric doesn’t see what the problem is. He might have a few brief interactions with Vax as a result of his ties to the Raven Queen through Galdric, but given he’s not directly working with RQ herself there is a measure of distance that’s enough to keep Vex and Percy from completely freaking out.

Vax’ildan, ‘Dan’:

He also goes by Freddie given he got that middle name from his dad. Dan’s the absolute softest of the family - Vex has taken each kid out hunting regularly enough as mother-child bonding time, except the first time she and Dan went out he broke down crying at the thought of killing anything so they just take walks together. He’s a Druid - not a high level one by any means. Circle of the Shepherd or Land maybe?

I like the idea of him feeling very much like the odd one out of his family - both named for his uncle (Vesper’s namesake wasn’t a world-saving hero, she was a *teenager*) and not outwardly seeming to have the traits his parents are well known for. He can’t shoot a bow, can’t handle a gun, can’t tinker, can’t do Pelor things, he’s just the kid that really loves plants. (Am I projecting a hell of a lot of autism on this kid? Yes. I Am. You can’t stop me.) However, Percy and Vex and the rest of his siblings are eager to learn with him - Percy takes up gardening more, mostly on the technical side of the science behind it, to spend time with his son, while Vex takes him on walks in the woods and they go foraging for mushrooms and fun treasures together. She makes little stick dollies and forest toys with him, like her mother used to do for her and Vax. It might be on one of these outings they find Charlie, maybe?

He spends a lot of time with Keyleth in Zephrah, or in the Patchwood or castle garden when at home, and once he’s older he might move to Zephrah completely. Dan picks up a lot of Kiki’s verbal ticks from being around her so much. He might have even been there for Kiki’s assasination attempt, if the angst is worth it >;3c 

IDK I don’t have as many ideas for Dan as the others :c beyond him being close to Kiki but not at all like Vax ;; He’s also close to Trinket’s cub Charlie, though given how bear reproduction and aging works that portrait would have needed to be completed in the early summer and Charlie would be absolutely huge come the next year. I gotta think on this kid more.

Gwendolyne:

(oh no im getting tired now gktjrngn fuck.)

Is the sweetest de Rolo and has inherited Velora’s Owlbear stuffie, given to her one time when the family Had to go to Syngorn for some contrived reason, and some elves raised a stink about this little toddler. Which was not wise; Vex blew her gasket in a big way, Percy took the liberty of voiding some important trade agreements (Cass handled the paperwork when they got home), Syldor tried to salvage the whole thing while defending his grandchild, and while they did that Velora cradled her newest niece in a back room and calmed her down with the old beloved teddy. 

I see Gwennie as 100% being a daddy’s girl. Poor Percy - none of his kids really Got tinkering until the last one. Sure they could help in the workshop and loved to watch him make things, or try to make things of their own, but none really got the itch for it until he found Gwen trying to sneak down to make something for her stuffie at 10pm. I see her as an Artificer (Artillerist or Battle Smith)! Unlike her father’s love of clockwork and pretty creations, now, Gwen is 100% all about shit that goes boom, which is super funny given how sweet she is. Vex gets so many more exploding arrows once Gwen starts helping her dad. However, there is a minor point of conflict in that she likes the guns, the bombs, the explosions,and thinks they’re cool, and cannot for the life of her grasp why her father is so upset about having invented such cool things. She really likes Tary too.

Though I don’t think she would be an adventurer, I like the idea of Gwennie leaving home to sell some of her inventions and creations. Say, stopping by one of Gilmores’ storefronts and spending a few days doing some demonstrations and sales there, just seeing the cities the world has to offer but without any monster fighting - she’d rather sell the monster killing shit than engage herself. Inevitably something of hers does get used for nefarious purposes, though, and she understands her dad a bit better after this.

I also really, really want to incorporate Tiefling virtue names into Gwennie’s life, and while away from home I can see her going by Darling. Because it’s something she associates with her mother, with love, and she’s so much of a daddy’s girl that it’s nice for her to have something of her mom’s. IDK if anyone in Whitestone castle knows that this mildly famous merchant of insane tinkering feats that goes by Darling is their Gwennie, and IDK if she’s actually deliberately hiding this or hasn’t bothered to explain. She gets her incredible salesman skills from mom ofc.

All her family learn Infernal, because sometimes when she’s stressed she’ll lapse into it, and it becomes the official language of gossip for the de Rolo family whenever they’re at some important event and have some tea to spill in polite company. 

holy fuck that was more than I expected lmao. Enjoy? or not? weee

[sdvvillagers]

Families reactions for bachelorettes and bachelors expecting a baby? (｡◕‿‿◕｡) Who would be extatic about becoming grandparent/auntie and so on, and who'd be scared of new role?

First off, I am SO DANG SORRY for how long it took me to answer this.  Seriously, this ask has been in my inbox for months (along with another one that I SWEAR I’ll get to!  I’m sorry!).  Long asks like these make my brain seize up and it takes awhile to kick my brain in the pants and reboot it.  I tried to keep all responses vague in terms of spouse (for male or female partner) as well as vague in terms of pregnancy versus adoption.  Enjoy!

Alex - Evelyn and George never thought they’d see the day that they would become great-grandparents.  It seemed so far-fetched that they’d never really considered it as an option, not even when Alex got married.  It wasn’t until they actually heard Alex announce that he was going to be a father that the reality set in.  Evelyn was so overjoyed she burst into tears, beckoning Alex over to her so she could squeeze him as hard as her frail arms possibly could.  George was happy, of course, but more than anything he was proud.  Not only proud of Alex and what a wonderful father he would be, but admittedly proud of himself for living so full a life that he lived long enough to see himself become a great-grandfather.

Sam - Jodi has been excited about the prospect of having grandchildren ever since Sam was born.  Having a family and children of her own is rewarding, she can’t deny that, but there’s something different about grandkids.  She saw the way her own parents interacted with Sam and later Vincent, and saw a far more carefree relationship.  Grandparents don’t have to be disciplinarians, they don’t have to enforce strict bedtimes or limit sugar intake, they don’t have to clean up after messes or potty train.  Jodi loves being a mother when it comes to interacting with her children, it’s everything else that gets overwhelming.  Jodi definitely shrieks in excitement when Sam announces that he’s going to be a father.  Kent, usually a quiet and stoic man, will struggle to hold back his emotions as he congratulates his son.  It isn’t until later when he has a moment alone that he properly processes the news and finally allows himself to feel properly excited about it.  So much of his own children’s lives was missed by him, he hopes he can be a more present in the life of his grandchild.  And Vincent… well, Vincent is just tickled by the idea that he’ll be an uncle before he even turns 10 and will insist that everyone start calling him “Uncle Vincent” before the baby even arrives.

Seb - Robin has NO CHILL when it comes to Seb announcing that he’s going to be a father.  For years Robin worried about Seb, concerned that he would be a hermit forever and would never live a life outside of the basement.  Seeing Seb flourish the way he has and meet someone new was rewarding enough and even once Seb was in a relationship, Robin wasn’t sure if children were ever on his radar.  He didn’t seem like he wanted kids in his life and Robin still would have been happy for him even if he never pursued having children… at least that’s what she thought until the moment Seb announced he was going to be a father.  Full-on freakout on Robin’s part.  Demetrius is outwardly proud of Sebastian and congratulates him, but a part of Demetrius is worried.  His relationship as a father figure to Sebastian never really worked out and he wonders what his place will be in the life of Sebastian’s child and whether he will be treated as a grandfather or not.  Maru is SO excited to become an auntie, already she starts thinking of all the cool and fun things she wants to do with her niece/nephew.  She’s bound and determined to be the stereotypical “fun aunt”.

Shane - Marnie has spent most of her life worrying about Shane for various reasons; worried about his alcohol dependence, worried about his depression, worried about his loneliness, worried about his future.  When Shane finally does meet someone, Marnie is ecstatic.  Of course someone new will never fix a person in itself, having a partner at least helps to motivate Shane to get his life on the right track.  Marnie is absolutely thrilled when Shane announces he’s going to be a father and this is one area where she’s not worried one bit.  She’s seen how he is with Jas and what a wonderful father figure he’s been to her, Marnie’s just happy that he’ll have the chance to have this experience from the beginning.  As for Jas, she couldn’t be happier.  It’s always been a bit lonely for her, it’s been tough for her to find her place in the family dynamic.  But with Shane getting married and now a new baby arriving, Jas finally feels like she’s settling into a family and becoming part of something she’s always wanted.

Abigail - Caroline and Pierre are so proud of the woman that Abi has grown into.  Yes, they had their disagreements as Abi was growing up and even into her young adulthood, but those were all overcome once Abi started to make a life for herself.  It was worrisome to both Caroline and Pierre when Abi was so carefree and didn’t have a direction she wanted to go in life, it seemed like the last thing in life she wanted was to settle down and live a domestic life.  Apparently all Abi needed was to find the right person to complement her and everything fell into place.  Abi is still the somewhat rebellious girl she had been and there’s still many things Pierre and Caroline will never understand about her, but it at least brings them comfort to see her happy.  When she announces that she’s going to be a mother, Pierre and Caroline are relieved and overjoyed.  It was never anything they thought would happen to them when their only child was so outwardly against domesticity, but they’re so happy that she found a way to live that life and still be happy.

Emily - When Emily announces that she is going to be a mother, Haley literally SHRIEKS in excitement.  At this point in her life Haley might not be ready for a baby, but that doesn’t mean she’s not completely excited to have one in her life.  What follows is the biggest shopping trip of Haley’s life, she finds herself buying more in preparation for the new baby than even Emily does.  No niece or nephew of Haley’s will go unspoiled.  She can’t wait to be the cool aunt.

Haley - It’s strange for Emily when she hears that Haley will be a mother.  Most of Emily’s life was spent caring for Haley more as her mother than as her sister, it isn’t until recently that they’ve been able to find a happy place in their relationship where Emily can finally feel like a sister.  Now the dynamic is changing once again and Emily feels more like a grandmother than an auntie, the connection to Haley and her child is that strong.  Somehow calling herself an aunt just doesn’t seem powerful enough, it doesn’t seem worthy enough.  Emily knows she will be more than just an aunt to Haley’s child and has ever intention of treating her niece or nephew the way any grandmother would.

Maru - Robin and Demetrius beam with pride when Maru announced that she’s going to be a mother.  While Demetrius always focused more on Maru’s success in her studies and her career, Robin always worried in the back of her mind if this measure of success was the only one Maru would cling to.  Robin hoped that Maru would learn that her success could be measured just as much by her personal relationships and family life and that Maru was smart enough and driven enough to have it all.  Seeing Maru in a happy relationship and hearing the news that she’s starting a family is a relief to Robin to see that she never devalued having a family and it’s a relief to Demetrius to see that his motivated daughter is living a full life.  Sebastian isn’t outwardly excited about the prospect of being an uncle, then again there isn’t much he’s outwardly excited about.  Inwardly, though, he’s strangely looking forward to being an uncle.  Yes, it will be awkward and he’s certainly never been a fan of babies or even small children, but somehow the idea of playing Solarian Chronicles with his niece or nephew many years from now is a vision he can’t stop seeing and enough to get him actually excited.

Penny - Pam knows how long Penny has waited for this moment and it’s for that reason that Pam is actually quite worried for her.  Pam knows how much the idea of being a wife and mother has been glorified in Penny’s mind but Pam understands from experience just how difficult parenting can really be.  It’s hard to truly make someone understand just how hard parenting can be and that it’s not the beautiful, rewarding experience it can sometimes be painted as.  Parenting can be soul-crushing, it can be exhausting, it can be overwhelming, and Pam worries that Penny might not be ready for that aspect of it.  Of course Pam is thrilled at the news that she’ll be a grandmother, but a part of her is also worried about what kind of grandmother she’ll be.  She fully acknowledges that she wasn’t exactly the best mother in the world and that somehow Penny turned out okay in spite of that.  Being told that she’ll be a grandmother gives Pam some relief that maybe she’ll get a second chance… she just hopes she won’t screw it up.

[wastelandcrown]

all’s fair in fake love and gore

CHAPTER 1: (un)predictability

Summary: Roman and Patton have been dating for a while, and it’s fine. Remus doesn’t care. Unfortunately, it’s another excuse for his family to put Roman on a pedestal. Except that, through a turn of events nobody expected, Remus ends up pretending to be madly in love with his close friend Logan for his family’s holiday trip. Both parties are convinced nothing will happen between them. Roman and Patton, however, are terrible meddlers who believe in the power of love.

Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Lightly tense family dynamics, Remus being Remus, OCs for family members (If I miss something please tell me!)

Notes: Listen-I hate the holidays but I live for this trope. I’ll try my hardest to do it justice and make it work. Name was suggested to me by the lovely @grayskiesrainyskies, thank you ma’am!!

Pairings: Intrulogical, Royality, Creativitwins

Two hours. It’s just two more hours. He’s reasoning with himself against all odds, but the urge to slam his head against the dining table is palpable and he’s barely holding it together. Remus had always hated family dinners, he hadn’t even bothered going up until recently. Adulthood was messy. Family was messier. More accurately, Remus was the mess of the family. Roman and him had long since mended their relationship, they even hung around in the same circle! That only made it worse when Roman and their mutual friend Patton started dating. It’s not that he wasn’t happy for them, he was. Their fluffy, happy, fairy-tale romance was something out of some god damned Disney movie, and Remus was so happy someone put up with Roman’s hopeless romanticism. Except now, because the family loves Patton.

He’s spent the entire night being as family friendly as he possibly could. It was a tiring effort to be dressed up like a “normal person”, without any makeup or accessories, and placating the old fleabags that he happened to be related to. Even then, he got the typical onslaught of negative attention. He didn’t even care. He didn’t, he really really didn’t. What made the dinner so wildly unbearable was Patton’s existence. He got along with everyone in the family, helped out with cooking, set the table, watched the kids, and was entirely sweet and rated-G. The family doted on him. Remus and Roman’s parents told Roman that Patton was “the one”. Both pairs of grandparents called him a “sweet young man” who was “the perfect homemaker for Roman”. Ugh. Perfect Roman, perfect Patton, and their perfect romance. 

Dinner came, and now the family can’t seem to stop asking them happy little questions. The kids table even came over with the occasional curiosity about Patton and Roman. Remus could tell Roman’s calm and polite demeanor was shattering around question thirty. Even Patton was tired at question fifty. Then Aunt Patty had to open her stupid mouth.

“Well Patton,” She says with a wide smile, “You really are such a great young man! It’s quite the blessing that you’re with Roman.”

There it is. That’s what Remus has been waiting for all night. 

“Aunt Patty, please,” Roman mutters, putting his head in his hands.

“Uhm, I’m not really sure what you mean!” Patton laughs nervously, genuinely confused about what she means. 

The table laughs, and Aunt Patty continues, “Oh, well, I just mean that you chose the right twin!”

Roman succumbs to the urge and lets his head slide onto the table, his hands are behind his head and squeezing at his neck. Patton stares at Aunt Patty like she’s gone mad. Remus slips his butter knife off the table and stabs the back of his hand with it. It hurts, but skin doesn’t break. Most of the table laughs. His parents, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, his adult cousins. They all laugh at the prospect of someone so nice dating someone like Remus. He stabs his hand again, harder this time.

His mother pipes up next, and Patton looks as if he’s going to lose his mind, “It’s a blessing really! If Remus brought someone home they’d probably be crazier than he is!”

“We really are lucky he doesn’t keep partners around for long!” Says his grandfather, and the table laughs again. Remus stabs his hand again.

He can see the gears of Patton's brain working as Roman sits up, “Guys,”

There’s something dangerous behind Patton’s eyes, “Can we please,”

Patton smiles in a way that makes Remus panicky, “Just leave Remus alone?”

He’s got a devious plan, and Remus can tell by the way he places a soft hand on Roman’s shoulder.

He brightly says, “See, Remus, this is why I told you you should have brought him!”, while making the most innocently intense eye-contact Remus has ever had. 

Patton has been spending way too much time with Janus. 

Everyone goes silent. Even the kids, which is a miracle. Remus stabs himself in the hand for the fourth time, the skin breaks. His blood gets onto the sleeve of the white button-up Roman lent him. 

“Remus,” His father speaks very softly, “Do you have a partner?”

Patton smiles at him again, he thinks it over once or twice, “Yeah, what about it?”

“Why didn’t you bring them?” His mother asks with excitement clear in her voice.

Remus scowls, and everyone knows why, “You literally just fu-freaking laughed about his mere existence.”

One of his uncles clears his throat and breaks the silence, “H-How long have you been with them?” 

“Six months.” Remus lies, he hopes the three of them can act well enough to pull it off.

That amount of time is five months longer than any of his previous flings, and his parents erupt into dramatic cries, “You haven’t told us after half a year!”

“I told Roman and Patton!” He yells back, turning back to his food and shoving some in his mouth to angrily chew.

“Roman! Patton! Who is it? Do we know him? Is it serious?” His father has stood up and has leaned over the table to interrogate the pair. 

“Do-” Roman starts, and Remus knows he’s doomed, “Do you remember my friend, Logan?” 

Remus kicks Roman under the table. As hard as he possibly can. His father stops moving, his mother drops her fork. 

“You’re lying.”

“He’s not!” Patton chirps, “None of us expected it either but they’re very cute together!”

“Is Logan that stuck-up boy from their high school graduation who kept talking about following the proper protocol?” His grandma asks with a surprisingly shocked expression.

“That’s the one!” Roman points as he speaks, then the entire family has their eyes on Remus again. 

“What? Are you looking for some explanation or something? He’s smart and he’s hot and he respects my choices,” Remus scoffs out, getting out of his chair and taking his plate to the kitchen, “I’m not talking about this anymore.” 

Patton and Roman follow him into the kitchen with their plates. As he scrapes his plate into the trash, he gives Patton the most intense glare. 

“Remus, I’m so sorry-” Patton pauses, and snatches him by the hand, “Did you stab yourself!?”

The next two hours, nobody brings anything up. It’s a breath of fresh air to have them shocked into respecting his damn privacy. Family leave or head to bed. The only people left awake when the trio are leaving are the twins' parents.

“What do you want, dad?” Remus asks when his father approaches.

His father gives a smile that he assumes was supposed to be warm, and opens his mouth to speak.

“Dad, Remus and I should really be going,” Roman cuts in, probably to try and save Remus from a potentially foreboding conversation.

Roman is pushing Patton and Remus towards the door, their dad chuckles. They must look fairly comedic with Roman angrily pushing against their backs as they stand without budge.

“Remus, you know the family’s winter trip is coming up,” 

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” He rolls his eyes, and Patton smacks him upside the head.

“Your mother and I would like to extend the invitation to Logan, to get to know him.”

The room is so silent, you can almost hear Aunt Patty snoring in the guest room. Despite everything, Remus can’t bring himself to just say “no” to this offer. The family Cabin is huge, beautiful, quiet, and has a very nice library. Y’know, rich people shit. It really does seem like something Logan would love under different different circumstances. 

He agreed to ask, but he was sure Logan would say no.

“No.”

Called it. Remus knew that even if himself, Roman, and Patton groveled and begged, Logan was not going to budge.

“Logan! It’s only two weeks!” Roman pleads.

“You need a break anyway! What’s more relaxing than being my little boytoy!” Remus grumbles, he’s only partially joking. Logan does need a break, he can tell.

“Okay but have you seen their cabin?” Patton asks in the innocently excited way he tends to do.

That piqued Logan’s interest. He looks at Patton and inquisitively moves his eyebrow vaguely upwards. Roman opens up a folder on his phone of photos from the cabin. There are nearly two hundred, but each photo is whittling down Logan’s resolve. He thinks again about their neat little family library. The fairly large room goes almost entirely unused, only with two exceptions. Remus, and long past on Gran-Gran. Remus remembers sitting on his great-grandmother’s lap while she read to him countless stories. She didn’t mind his weirdness. Logan didn’t mind much either. He’d be alone with hundreds of books for three weeks, what more could he want? He’d just have to let Remus sit in. 

“You know,” Remus leans in, whispering into Logan’s ear very gently, “We’ve got a big library.”

That’s what breaks Logan, who lets out the longest sigh Remus has ever heard in his life.

He agrees to go on two conditions. He will have physical contact with Remus but he will not kiss him, and he gets the make up the story of how the pair met. Remus couldn’t be more ecstatic. His family could suck it! He had a sexy ass fake boyfriend, who's probably gonna make up some dumb and adorable story about meeting in at a Library Book Club Meeting. Logan’s hot, he’s hot. It will work out. No strings attached. None. 

Roman jokes to Remus everyday before the trip that we all know how the trip will end. Remus thinks he’s more unpredictable than that. He hopes he is. 

[adarlingwrites]

Absolution

Summary:

noun: formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment

The Capital Wasteland lauded the Lone Wanderer as a hero, a Messiah, a savior who’s willing to give her life for the Good Fight. Beyond the legends, the propaganda, and the mythification that surrounded her legacy, there is only one person who knew her bare soul. She gave him his absolution, and now he will fight for hers.

XXVIII

January 14, 2278.

I woke up feeling confused.

Percy?

My wife?

Impossible. A ghoul marrying a smoothskin? Fucking insane.

I don’t think I’m even made for something as… normal as marriage. All my skills are geared towards killing and destroying. How can I even build a life with her?

Some people marry out of love, don’t they? My parents did, and they were happy together. When I was little, during their wedding anniversary, they’d leave me with someone else to look after me. Before she went away to study, Aunt Katya would do that for them. After she’s gone, it was whoever babysitter they can find.

They would always come home the next day with smiles on their faces.

When we started to become poorer, they’d spend the evening in the house, a lone candle illuminating the kitchen, and they’d dance to the radio in silence. My mother would look at my father with uncertain eyes, and he'd kiss the worries away.

“Annika, moya solnyshko, we’re going to be fine.”

Solnyshko. If I recall correctly, it’s a term of endearment in my parents’ language. I think it meant ‘little sun’.

I sighed and turned to Percy, still asleep, resting peacefully as the sunlight streamed from the windows and illuminated her face.

Is that something I want to do with Percy?

Hold her in my arms through thick and thin? Call her silly little things out of affection?

Is it love that drives me to dream of being her husband? Or is she just too involved in my life now for me to think of someone else?

Some people married out of convenience, after all. Like Aunt Katya.

I remember bringing the rings on her wedding day. She was already heavy with child, dressed in white. I couldn’t remember if it was in the year 2069 or 2070, but obviously, it was before I was taken away for indoctrination.

“Tetushka,” I remember addressing her during the reception. “Who is he?”

“Artyom, this is Nathaniel. He’s the man I married, and he’s going to be your uncle. Don’t be shy, say hi.”

The man steps closer, and kneels. He had some stubble on his jaw, square and shapely, and his hair is cut neatly, like the soldiers I see on posters.

“So this is the nephew you were talking about, Kitty. Hey there sport,” he greets extending his hand. I remember reluctantly giving him a handshake.

“I know this is all so sudden, but he’s part of the family now,” Aunt Katya explains, smiling, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“I think it’s time for the toast, dear. We wouldn’t want to miss it.” Nathan interrupts, whisking my aunt away and giving me a nod and a wink.

That night, as my father drove us home, he spoke to me.

“Artyom, could you make me a promise?”

“What kind of promise papa?”

“Promise me, when you grow up and if you decide to marry someone, make sure that you marry out of love, like I did with your mother. Don’t be like your aunt Katya.”

“I promise,” I tell him. “But what’s wrong with aunt Katya?”

“Ilya, I think we should save this conversation for another day. Our Artyom might be too young,” my mother tells father.

“Nonsense. It’s never too early to let him know. Artyom, your tetushka married that man because she thought she couldn’t take care of a baby on her own. I’m not sure if she loves Nathan, and that’s what scares me. Your auntie is strong. But I’m not sure how she will handle a marriage with uncertain feelings. It could destroy her.”

I blinked a few times. It was too heavy for me to understand back then.

“I think what your father is trying to say, Artyom,” my mother adds, “Is when people marry and start a family, they usually live together under one roof, like your papa and I. When you marry someone and live under one roof with someone you do not love, life can become difficult.”

“I think I understand, mama.”

I do understand now.

My reminiscing got interrupted when Percy cracked one eye open, and reached for me.

“Hey. Good morning, big guy. You slept well?”

I nodded.

“Let’s get some breakfast.”

After waking Butch up, the three of us packed our sleeping bags and went outside to start a fire. The dawn is just breaking, the horizon hazy. I can’t remember being this up early. Our sleep schedule was borderline nocturnal.

As the Cram sizzled on the clean sheet of metal we used to cook on while travelling, Percy was heating some clean water over the fire as well. She used it to rehydrate the Instamash, and the rest went into a cup. My partner then takes out a small sachet, the label washed out, but I can still see what it was.

“Found this in a coat pocket from Moira’s gifts the other day,” she giggles. “Hot chocolate!”

My eyes widened. Damn, I haven’t seen one of those after the war. Is it even safe to consume?

“Man, I miss the food in the vault. Lemme have some,” DeLoria exclaims, excited.

Percy pours it in the cup and stirs it with a spoon. She takes a sip, passes it to Butch, who wrinkles his nose, then to me. Well, if we can still eat Cram after 200 years of it sitting on some shelf, I think I’ll be fine with this ancient hot chocolate.

It’s hot. Comforting. The flavor is a little rancid, but what else is new with these preserved Pre-War foods? It’s still somewhat sweet. The nostalgia I felt for the life I left behind grew. I look into the cup, the dark liquid swirling, reminding me of Percy’s eyes. Then, I pass it back to her.

“You were smiling in your sleep,” Percy quips, looking at me with eyes still heavy with sleep. “Dreamed of something nice?”

Despite the cold, I feel the warmth spreading through me. Of fucking course I just can’t tell her that I dreamed that I wasn’t a monster, and she is my wife, and we had a son who looked like her while we’re frolicking at a beach in California. I have to think of something else.

“I dreamed DeLoria fell down the stairs.”

Percy almost spat out her drink laughing. Butch gives me a dirty look. “Yeah, real funny, you bastard,” he groans.

I couldn’t help but laugh at my own lie, too.

Butch put the fire out with snow, and we’re off again, heading west. The sun’s rising in the east, warming our backs as we pressed on. By the time we got to Lamplight, the sun’s risen, but was blocked out by clouds.

We approached the cavern entrance, and followed the trail inside. There, MacCready is still keeping watch.

“Hey, we got your friends back. Can we come in now?” Percy shouts, keeping a safe distance.

“I guess you’re okay after all, for a mungo. But you better not piss me off!”

As the three of us approached the gate, the kid pointed his rifle at DeLoria.

“Hey wait a second, you weren’t with them when they first came here,” he barks, suspicious.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s harmless. He’s gonna watch out stuff for us while we go in Vault 87,” Percy explains, pulling Butch’s arm hurriedly.

“Who the fuck are you?” the mayor asks Butch, and of course the moron puffed his chest out.

“I’m Butch! I lead a gang called the Tunnel Snakes and I helped them get your friends outta Paradise Falls too!”

“What kind of dumbshit name is Tunnel Snakes?”

Okay, I can’t fucking help it. I am laughing. This kid is just fine.

As DeLoria squabbles with MacCready, Percy sits down in a corner to catch her breath and rest, and I join her. Soon, some of the kids started gathering around us, and among them were the children we rescued from Paradise.

“It’s the ghost and the zombie that saved us!” one of them exclaimed, running towards us.

“Zombie isn’t a nice word to call him, kid. He’s called a ghoul,” Percy tells her, voice a little softer than her usual speaking tone.

“A pretty ghost and a scary ghoul saved you? Wow!”

Soon, the voices of the children grew louder as they chattered about us, the odd group of mungos allowed in the cave.

I felt uncomfortable as the children poked around and asked us so many questions. Some of them are too afraid to come closer to me, while some openly try to climb on my back and gingerly touch some of my scars. I guess the dream I had about having one will remain a dream. These children are exhausting to be around.

Yet Percy takes it all in stride, answering every question they ask her, showing off her stuff, and regaling them with tales from our travels. She’d gently pet the hair of one of the little girls who huddled next to her, and her patience didn’t waver as one of the boys accidentally spilled their Nuka Cola on her jacket.

She reminds me of my own mother. I’m sure she’d be a great mother if she ever decides to be one.

And when that happens, I’m not going to be the one by her side.

“Percy! Tell us another story,” one of the children, who was called Knock Knock, asks my partner, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“I think I’ve already told you all of my stories.”

“Well, you can always make one up,” another little girl, the one called Bumble, suggests.

“Hmm…”

Eyes flicking towards me, Percy offers the children a soft smile.

“Long ago, there was a young maiden, living in a fortress with steel walls. The most important rule was one was allowed to go in and out of the fortress.” Percy starts, leaning her head towards me.

“A maiden? Why not a princess? Princesses lived in fortresses, right? Or was it a castle?”

“Shut up, Zip! Don’t interrupt her.”

Chuckling, Percy clears her throat and continues. “She kept to herself, and kept herself busy with plants and books. The maiden was content with living in the fortress, but she always wondered what the world beyond them looked like. One night, while the maiden was exploring the lower levels of the fortress, a horrible beast took her away, and captured her. He put her in an invisible cage, which keeps her under his control.”

I think I know who this maiden is.

“Oh no, is she okay? Who saved her?”

“We’ll get to that soon. The maiden was kept in a cage for so long, that she thought that she'd never get out. Then, one night, word got around that someone left the fortress. In her desire to see the world, she grips the bars of the invisible cage, and bends it, finally escaping.”

The children were listening in awe. “What happens to the girl? Does she escape the fortress?”

“Yes, and she had to face the monster that captured her in doing so. In a show of courage, she wields a sword, and takes his head off in one slice.”

“Coooool,” one of the kids exclaimed.

“Then, she starts looking for her father. But she couldn’t do it alone. There were many dangers in the world outside the fortress. So, she looks for someone who can watch her back.”

“Is it a knight? Or a prince?”

“Hmm. No, her companion is neither of those. He’s something else.”

“What is he?”

“A ferryman.”

“What’s a ferryman, Percy?”

“Have you kids ever heard of a boat? A ferryman is in charge of running that boat.”

“Oh, so they rode through a boat?”

“Yeah. They did. This ferryman, all he knew before he met the maiden was to take the souls of people and deliver them to Death. Kind of like the Grim Reaper. Everyone’s gotta die some time, and it was his job to ensure that they make it to the other side.”

“Yikes! Why would she ask someone like that to watch her back?”

Percy pauses, unsure what to answer. Her eyes flick to her lap, then, she smiles at one of the kids.

“Because, the maiden knows better than to judge a book by its cover. Turns out, the ferryman was one of the most reliable, bravest, and kindest people outside the fortress, but he’s stuck to his job. So, they burn the boat, and the maiden, instead of facing Death, runs away with the ferryman. The end.”

“Wow, that was boring,” one of the boys quipped, which earned him an elbow from one of the girls.

“Are you kidding? That was amazing!”

“Aw, that can’t be the end! What happens to them after?”

“Do they fall in love?”

A short chortle escaped Percy. “That’s a story for another day. My friend and I need to get going.”

Bumble looks up to Percy with big, begging eyes. “Promise us you’ll tell the rest when you come back, please?”

A chorus of “Please, Percy” fills the cave. I couldn’t help but snort at the overwhelmed look on Percy’s face. Then, she gave them a quick nod, to which they responded with cheers.

“Alright big guy, time for us to go into the Vault. Wait, where’s Butch?”

On the opposite side of the cave, surrounded by mostly boys, including MacCready himself, Butch was shouting and cheering.

“Tunnel Snakes rule!”

“Tunnel Snakes rule!” the boys echoed.

We laughed at the scene. “Hey, looks like Butch have new gang members in no time.”

Striding towards DeLoria, Percy dumps the gear we didn’t need to bring near his feet. She takes off her leather jacket and scarf, and her sneaking suit’s helmet protracted over her face. It was a curious sight for the children, looking at her with bewildered eyes.

“Look after the stuff, Butch. If we don’t come back in eight hours, get help from the Brotherhood.”

“Got it. What but what if something else comes through the door?”

“If it’s not with us, shoot it. Help the kids defend this place.”

Butch gulps. “I… uh…”

“There are spare guns and grenades in one of the packs. You helped us with Paradise, Butch. You can handle this,” Percy encourages him, rubbing the back of his palm gently.

I look away.

“You’re right. See you in a few hours.”

Following a teenage boy who introduced himself as Joseph, who turned out to be the brother of one of the children we got out of the slave pen, we were led to a terminal which accesses a door to the vault. No one bothered to write down the password, so Percy cracked her knuckles and started typing away eagerly.

Eyes still fixated on the glowing green monitor, she had that determined look on her face again.

The door hisses open, and we step in. It was unnaturally cold and silent.

“This is it, Charon. We’re so close.”

[theblogthatdoesanimethings]

Kuroko’s Basketball: Scenario 

Prompt: As Parents 

Kuroko: Kuroko would be the best parent and the best husband. He would attend to all of his child’s needs and would be an attentive parent. He knows how to have fun and let loose, and I think he’d be really good with children (I mean look at him with Tetsuya #2). At the same time, he knows when to lay down the rules, which means Kuroko has a nice balance between fun and responsibility. He would take equal responsibility for caring for his child and he immensely enjoys spending time with his child whenever he can. The GOM (+ Kagami) would play a large part in his child’s life and would be the best uncles to his kid. He’d try to teach his child basketball when they get old enough to play, but he might have to ask one of his friends to teach them instead (I don’t think his child would have his lack of presence). The most important thing for him is that his child is happy and having fun regardless of the sport they decide to play (it doesn’t have to be a sport either). He’s big on friendship, and he teaches his child about everything that is important to him. As a result, his child would grow up to be quite responsible (despite the constant interfering from Aomine and Kise) and would have a good life 

Aomine: Aomine is a mess and his partner would have to take care of the harder stuff when it comes to raising their child. Despite that, he does try his best to help out whenever he can and he watches his partner carefully to learn how to care for his kid. When you overlook the basic things such as feeding, cleaning, etc, Aomine would be a great parent. He would enjoy playing with his child a lot and would take great joy from teaching his kid how to play basketball when they get old enough. He spends a lot of time with his child, and as a result, he becomes the fun parent while his partner becomes the ‘stern’ parent. He’s not good at discipling his child because he caves in too quickly (He blames it on his good genetics which made his kid so cute). After the whole ordeal with Kuroko, he tries his best to involve his close friends in his child’s life (and they’re grateful for it because the kid is great). Satsuki plays a huge part in his life and his child grows attached to her quite quickly (she also helps out his partner in areas he fails in). In the end, because of the large role of his partner and Satsuki, his child would grow up to be quite smart, but would be carefree and a bit impulsive at times. He has daily basketball practice with his kid and it’s their form of bonding 

Kise: Kise is better than Aomine in some areas, but worse than him in other areas when it comes to his child. He quickly figures out the basics of physically caring for his child and doesn’t flounder around in panic when his child starts crying. He’s very gentle with his child, and likes to coddle them a lot, especially when his child is still young. He’s worse than Aomine in the sense that he gives in immediately to his child’s demands, and his partner has too physically remove him from the room and have a talk with their child (Or else they’d grow up spoiled). He would definitely keep the GOM + Kagami involved in his child’s life, though he’d get jealous if his child liked any of them more than them. If his child said they wanted to marry one of them when they got older, Kise would throw a fit and kick them out. He’s very physically affectionate and he would love hugging his child. He would definitely teach his child basketball, but if they had gained an interest in something else then he would wholeheartedly support them and teach them that too (because he can literally do anything he wants). His child would grow up to be a bit spoiled, but would be very happy and successful in most things they do because he’s always there to support them 

Akashi: Akashi is the distant caring parent. When his child is still young, he’d be very helpful in physically and emotionally caring for them, and he would be highly attentive to his child’s and his partners needs, especially during the beginning. As his child grows older, he grows a little bit more distant, but he still cares for them and his child can see that through his gestures. He’s supportive and helps his child whenever they need help with something, whether it be homework or building a particular skill. Akashi is smart, and I think because of that, his child would grow up to be quite intelligent as well. He tries to find time to spend with his child and shows his affection and how proud he is of them during those times that they spend together. He would try to teach his child basketball, however, if they didn’t take interest in it he wouldn’t complain. All he wants for his child is for them to be happy and to grow up well. His friends would play a part in his child’s life, however, it wouldn’t be as large of an impact as it is with the others mentioned (they’d just be the fun uncles and aunt). As a result, his child would grow up to be responsible and would have a good life too 

Midorima: Midorima is even more reserved than Akashi, even when it comes to his child. When his child is younger, he’s a lot more carefree and more affectionate with them. He’s the parent that lays down the rules, but he also does spend time with his child. For example, when his child is still young, he’d enjoy spending time reading books to them and he makes it a habit to read them to sleep every night. He’s a smart person and I think his child would be intelligent as well because he would be there to help them with their studies and with other things they need. He wouldn’t try to bring up basketball, but if his child took an interest in it and wanted to learn, he would teach them (and try to teach them about how threes are more superior). He wouldn’t actively try to include his friends in his child’s life, but somehow they would wiggle their way in and the child would grow quite attached to them. In the end, his child would be similar to Akashi’s and would be intelligent and responsible 

Murasakibara: He is a child himself and wouldn’t be very good at taking care of one. It’s said in the anime that he’s incompetent in everything other than basketball, and I think that would involve taking care of a child. As a result, his partner has to deal with a lot of stuff and it’s a bit of a burden on them (they also have to take care of him sometimes). He’s a big guy, which makes him come off as intimidating to his child and he might make them cry unintentionally. Eventually though his child realizes he’s not scary and he spends a lot of time playing with his child and keeping them entertained with the baby toys they have. As his child grows older, they surprisingly are independent and it’s because they unconsciously know they can’t really rely on him (but they aren’t mean about it). He does try to support when he can and his child appreciates that immensely. He’d share his snacks with his child and just indulging in sweets would be a bonding moment for them. He wouldn’t really want to teach his child about basketball, but if they’re adamant about it he would cave in and would teach them. Akashi is the one most involved in his child’s life, but the others would be there too. His child would grow up to be independent and would be good at caring for themselves, but they’d be really fun to hang around and they know the best places to get sweets 

Kagami: Kagami, surprisingly, would be a good parent. At first he comes off as intimidating as well because of his large figure, but he quickly gets rid of that problem by playing with his child and keeping them entertained with the baby toys as well. He’s a very caring person and he’s quite attentive to the needs of his child. He likes to fall asleep with his child on his chest, and as a result his child would grow up quite attached to him. He would definitely teach his child basketball as soon as they are old enough to do so. The GOM wouldn’t really be involved in his life other than a few of them (Kuroko and Aomine), but Himuro and Alex would be very important to his child and to him. His child would probably be bilingual as well because he would teach them Japanese and English when they’re young so they naturally pick it up. He’s a good cook and he would teach his child how to cook just in case of emergencies and so his child would be somewhat self sufficient at a young age. He tries to help with homework, but he’s not the best at it other than English (which they wouldn’t need his help at that point because they’d be fluent by then). They’d have daily basketball practice and would bond over it. His child would grow up to be very fun and outgoing 

I’ve been re-watching Kuroko’s Basketball and it’s just been reminding me about how much I love the GOM + Kagami (in particular Aomine). 

-theloveproductofhetalia

[janetbrown711]

“I ask myself what did I do to get as far as I’ve gotten…”

Evelyn Covey had practically planned out her life for the next couple of years. Sure, she was just in seventh grade, but that meant she was close to highschool, which is close to college, which is close to the rest of her life, and soon enough she’ll be dead. Planning everything out in her life hadn’t been her first idea, but her mom and dad insisted she and Eric plan things out. After all, they were heirs to a pretty large fortune, they had to be careful what they did. 

Basically, Evelyn planned to be head of the yearbook committee in middle school so she’d easily climb up the ladder in high school to be head by, at the earliest, sophomore year, then become head of the student council by at least junior year. Senior year would be more reasonable but, as her mother put it, “my children are exceptional, not reasonable”. She would also be head of the dance team and become a master of point ballet so she’d be several years ahead of her class by the time she gets into Julliard and before she knows it she’s Prima Ballerina just like her mother. Also, at some point soon she was supposed to start dating, but only rich boys that were approved of by her mother. 

Along the way, she was supposed to make friends with powerful people’s children and use them to her advantage. For the most part, Evelyn was good at that, with a few exceptions (Odette Jefferson, for one). Evelyn had a pretty tight squad and was pretty well-liked, and she was even cool with Eric and his sporty guy friends who were supposed to help him with his future. 

However, there was one friend that was completely unpredicted and probably a liability in the eyes of her mother, and her name was Hazel. 

Evelyn had no idea what really drew her to Hazel. She was the cousin of one of her dad’s business partners (and a very powerful one at that, but for reasons beyond Evelyn’s knowledge, she and Eric weren’t close to) but she knew she definitely wasn’t rich like Selena. She was nervous and kinda dorky. She always wore a scrunchie with a messy curly ponytail. She was naturally beautiful, which was all the odder as Hazel didn’t even seem to notice it. In fact, Hazel seemed to always be hiding in a sweater of some sort. Needless to say, Hazel was nothing that Evelyn was used to. Maybe that was it...

She knew that her mom would probably not approve of their friendship, but after the fall formal dance, Evelyn found herself hanging out with Hazel more and more. They didn’t have the same lunch, but Evelyn would find her after school and they’d chat for a little bit, and Evelyn sat near Hazel whenever possible during science and PE. She knew it was suspicious, especially to her friends, but Hazel was just... enticing. 

Her smile, her eyes, her laugh, the way she drummed her fingers on her desk when she was thinking, the way she would just ramble on and on until she caught herself... she was... 

Evelyn thought Hazel was cute, but she didn’t admit that to herself often. It didn’t matter, she had ‘the plan’ to think about. Grades, friendships, eventual relationships, her whole future couldn’t fall apart because Evelyn thought maybe that one girl was kinda cute. 

However, despite the little warning voice inside her head, she had invited Hazel and her cousin (Hazel never went anywhere without Selena) to her and Eric’s 13th birthday party. If anyone asked, Evelyn would say Selena was the daughter and future heiress of Louie Inc. and despite not being big in the social circles, she was still important and her cousin was just a tag along. Eric knew better, of course, but her friends (and more importantly, her mother) bought it. 

Anyway, that was how she got to the present moment; at her house eating pizza with her group of friends- plus Eric and Selena- with Hazel in the corner on Evelyn’s window seat, reading something on her phone, and the rest of her friends gossiping and playing games while also posting to Duckigram.  

“Enjoying the party?” Evelyn asked, taking a bite of her pizza. 

“O-oh yeah! Totally!” Hazel blushed and laughed. “J-just a little tired is all.”

“I get it,” Evelyn gave her a smile, which seemed to relax her. “Selena’s kinda a natural, I didn’t expect her to click with all my friends that well, since she doesn’t really know them and all,” Evelyn commented. 

“Oh yeah, she’s very amicable like that,” Hazel nodded. “She just chooses not to get involved in popularity contests- n- no offense or anything-!” Hazel bit her tongue. 

“No, it’s cool, I get it,” Evelyn chuckled. “I get a little tired of it too sometimes, but I find my own ways to cope.” Hazel nodded in tired agreement. 

“Here- you wanna go outside?” Evelyn stood and set down her plate on a nightstand. 

“Y-you wanna leave the party?” Hazel glanced over at Evelyn’s friends. 

“Psh, they’ll be fine. We’ll breathe just for a minute, it’ll be fun,” Evelyn offered her hand. When Hazel glanced at it, she realized how stupid the gesture was and was about to pull away when Hazel took it and Evelyn helped her up. The two snuck out of the room and eventually made their way to the balcony. The night air had done exactly what Evelyn had hoped, Hazel seeming to relax in an instant. 

“This is pretty cool,” Hazel said, remarking on the fairy lights wrapping around the ledge, giving the balcony a nice soft glow. 

“Thanks,” Evelyn said, going to the rail and leaning on it. Hazel joined her. 

“You can practically see all of Duckburg from here,” She said, eyes shining like diamonds as she looked out. 

“Yep yep,” Evelyn found herself lacking anything else to say, so she just took a deep breath. 

“Are you okay?” Hazel asked, which made Evelyn blush a little. 

“Yeah, I’m just a little more tired than I realized,” She chuckled. 

“I feel you,” Hazel nodded. 

“You know, I think you should consider yourself lucky that you weren’t born into all this. There’s so much politics involved in every single friendship and party, it’s honestly one big headache,” Evelyn rubbed her arms and leaned more on the ledge. “I can’t even count the number of times I’ve just sat and wondered what the heck I’ve ever done to get as far as I’ve gotten... It’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t.”

“W-well I’m sure it’s not all bad. I mean, you do have a lot of friends. That’s nice,” Hazel said. 

“It’s hard to tell if they’re genuine or not though. A lot of my friends were simply formed because of our parents,” Evelyn said. “Not you though! You’re a lot different than most of my friends.”

“What do you mean?” Hazel questioned. 

“Not in a bad way-! I-i mean... you’re actually pretty cool. I choose you to be my friend, you know?” Evelyn cursed internally. Hazel smiled a little. 

“T-thanks. You’re pretty cool too,” Hazel said. Evelyn felt her heart give a flutter. 

“Thanks,” She smiled. They looked at each other for quite the moment, before returning their gaze to the city. Evelyn took a sip of her soda.

“You know... you’re really pretty. Have you ever been told that?” Evelyn asked, realizing it was a pretty stupid question to ask someone only after she said it. 

“I mean- outside of my dad and great aunt and uncle and Selena? No, not really,” She said, scratching the back of her neck. 

“It’s true, you’re really... really pretty,” Evelyn glanced at Hazel, but their eyes met, and they went back. 

“Thanks,” Hazel smiled more. “You’re really pretty too.”

Evelyn felt her heart do a summersault. 

“Th-thanks,” She said, turning her face away as she felt herself become a blushing mess. 

There was a moment of silence between the two, minus the ambiance of the night and the background music of the party not too far away. However, it wasn’t unbearable, in fact, it was relaxing. Just two girls enjoying each other's company on a cool Friday night... 

“Evelyn..?” Hazel asked. 

“Yes?” Evelyn responded, turning to her. 

“Y-you don’t... I-i mean... Do you...? I-...” Hazel couldn’t get the words out. 

“What do you mean?” Evelyn tilted her head a little. Hazel glanced at her before shaking her head. 

“N-nevermind. Forget I asked anything,” Hazel shook her head. Evelyn decided it was probably best she didn’t push and left it at that, taking another sip of her soda. 

“You know... I’ve never really been to a birthday party outside of my family,” Hazel said. 

“Oh?” Evelyn said. 

“Yeah... and I know that sounds a little stupid, but... I’m not the best at making friends... so... I just want you to know... I appreciate you. A lot,” Hazel said, facing Evelyn. 

“I appreciate you too Hazel,” Evelyn said, suddenly aware of how close they were. She looked into Hazel’s eyes and Hazel looked right back. 

“Y-yeah... I get really shy and quiet around people, a-and you’ve really helped me reach out and grow, even if it’s j-just a little. I never would’ve dreamed of this last year,” Hazel said, leaning in a little.

“You’re really cool Hazel, I’m lucky to know you,” Evelyn replied. Hazel blushed a little. 

Just then, Evelyn closed her eyes, leaned in, and kissed her.  

To her surprise, it felt good. Really good. It was better than any kiss Evelyn had ever had before. Those countless dares she had taken with her friends were nothing compared to this.

However, right after the moment passed, both girl’s eyes snapped right open, and they jumped away from each other in shock. 

“H-hazel- I-”

“Hey, Evelyn, where’ve you- oh hey Hazel. What’s going on here?” Eric appeared on the balcony door right on time. Hazel turned away. 

“Nothing much,” Evelyn cleared her throat to quickly get a grip on herself, though her heart was pounding a thousand miles a minute. “We were just about to head back, right?” she said, turning to Hazel. 

“Y-yeah,” Hazel said, still not able to look at her. Evelyn’s smile fell. 

‘Great job Evelyn, you just screwed up the best friendship you’ve ever had,’ Evelyn facepalmed internally. Silently, the three of them went back to the party and Evelyn did her best to act like it didn’t happen. 

It wasn’t easy though, as a voice in the back of her mind kept screaming at her. 

‘You’re such an idiot. Hazel doesn’t like you like that! Now she hates you.’

‘You can’t like Hazel, this isn’t with the plan. Mom will totally kill you.’

‘What the hell is wrong with you?! Who kisses a person they barely know?’

‘You can’t risk your future like this.’

‘None of your friends would approve.’

‘How do you even know what love is? You’re thirteen. You can’t like someone like that, especially a girl.’

‘Mom is gonna kill you.’

‘That was a mistake.’

‘You’re such an idiot.’

Evelyn wished she could just turn her brain off. 

Eventually, Hazel asked if she and Selena could leave. Evelyn managed a nod, expecting that. They left not long after that, and it was safe to say the rest of the party felt like a waste. Evelyn’s mind was eating itself alive and she wished she could take back the whole thing. 

But Evelyn knew she couldn’t. Sooner or later... this was going to have to address itself again. The thought wasn’t comforting; it only got her thinking about how her friends and family would react, which filled her soul with dread. 

So for the present moment, it was a lot easier to deny the truth. She just... couldn’t risk what she had built; what she was going to build. She had her whole future, she couldn’t just... drive it all off the rails. Not right now. 

She was just confused... there wasn’t anything really there. And even if there were, it couldn’t be worth it... right? 

Evelyn took out her phone and gave Hazel a quick text. 

“I’m sorry for everything” and sighed. She hadn’t meant to screw this up so badly... 

Hazel read the text but didn’t respond. 

Evelyn pressed the phone against her forehead, cursing herself for being an idiot. 

Evelyn added: “We can pretend it never happened if you want”

Hazel started to type, but after a long moment, stopped. Eventually, she gave the message a thumbs up. Evelyn groaned internally. She hated this, she never wanted to make Hazel feel bad, and yet... she sighed. 

Then again... maybe it’d be easier this way. Evelyn could just move on and pretend it never happened. Their regular old friendship would return in no time and everything would be fine and as planned. Evelyn would just play the part she was always meant to, and she’d move on and everything would just be okay. After all, she was only 13, none of this meant anything. 

“Evelyn, you good?” Eric asked, noticing her worried looks. Evelyn glanced around to see if anyone was paying attention to her, which no one was. 

“I screwed up,” she sighed. “But I’ll fix it, it’ll be fine... it has to be,” she muttered the last part under her breath. Eric gave her a sympathetic look but didn’t push further than that, which was good. Evelyn wasn’t sure how well she’d be able to hide this from him. He was her twin after all. 

That didn’t change anything though. This whole... Hazel thing was against the plan, so Evelyn would just pretend it never happened, keep being her friend and move on. 

She had to.

[kariachi]

So on Sunday my brain decided to throw Gwen/Mike/Kevin/Argit at me for some reason and today decided to continue with it, so.... Have a couple thousand word double feature.

~~

The house was smaller than the one Mike had been living in when they met, but just as if not more grand. Enough so that even Gwendolyn, nonetheless Kevin and Argit, had to stop as soon as they were out of the car to stare at its white stone walls, intricately paned windows, and the sheer amount of well-tended greenery and flowers. For all they had been told this wasn’t the normal place for family get-togethers due to being ‘not fit for hosting’, they simply couldn’t see it. It was still huge and gorgeous. No wonder Mike had been rolling his eyes when he said it. They couldn’t have been stood there gawking long before the front door opened to reveal a small woman dressed to impress.

“Mikey!”

“Monie!” And immediately Michael Morningstar- who in the three years since he’d gotten clean and the two he’d been a part of their little quartet had not engaged in displays of affection more grand than jewelry- bolted across the lawn, scooped the similarly excited woman up into a spin, and hugged her fiercely as soon as her feet had touched the ground.

“Remind me to get him to spin me at least once during this relationship,” Kevin grumbled as he and Gwendolyn rounded the car. “I don’t care if it happened right before he drops me into a volcano, as long as it happens.”

“Jealous, much?”

“Don’t be a hypocrite, Red. And stop scowling, she’s his cousin for fuck’s sake.” Something that was easier to tell as they came closer. There were plenty of differences- golden toned versus pink, tall versus short, blond versus grey, blue eyed versus green- but a few key features stood out. Their eyes were the same shape, they were of similar narrow build, and they carried themselves with the same proud bearing. The woman- Monie- stepped back as they approached, flashing them a toothy grin as Mike turned to present them.

“And these are my…” He goes quiet, mouth twisting and hand curling shut. They’ve never really worked out terms. Kevin and Gwendolyn were boyfriend and girlfriend, Kevin and Argit were partners, but Gwendolyn and Argit? Any of them and Mike?

“Yours?” his cousin offered in fond amusement. Mike nodded.

“Mine. Kevin Levin, Argit Levin, and Gwendolyn Tennyson.”

“Monette Morningstar,” she introduced herself, stepping around Mike and towards them. Gwendolyn stepped forward to offer a hand to shake, only to be wrapped in the same fierce hug Mike had gotten, and for Monette to quickly do the same to Kevin and Argit. “It’s a pleasure and an honor to have you here.”

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” Gwendolyn answered, still reeling a bit from getting a warmer welcome than she got from a fair chunk of her own family.

“We were beginning to think Sparkles was lying about having relatives,” Argit continued, “to make himself look better.” Kevin and Argit only had family in the Amalgam Kids and Cooper, who were always around, and they all were practically tripping over Tennysons, but Mike was the only member of his family he interacted with in their area, and the three times he’d gone to family events since they’d gotten together he’d insisted on going alone.

“Not surprised,” Monette said with a nod, “most of the others already hate you.” Gwendolyn snorted derisively while Kevin groaned beside her. They’d been warned the entire drive up, but still. “He doesn’t shut up about you, you know. Well, he hasn’t shut up about you since he was twelve-”

“Monie!” The woman kept her same easy, welcoming smile as he and Gwendolyn both went red around the edges.

“-but he’s even worse now. Shame, it would’ve been so fun to see him just drop you all on the family at once.” Stepping forward, Mike scowled at her.

“I am not putting them through that,” he said with finality as Argit snickered.

“Of course not,” she replied, waving off the very idea. “It’ll still be the funnest holiday since you ran off.” With another flash of perfect teeth she gestured them towards the house, falling in behind the little group with light steps. “Now come on, lunch is all ready and you kids must be starving-”

~~~~~

~~~~~

They had claim over the master bedroom whether they wanted it or not, their hostess more willing to eat her own legs than to risk them being crowded in one of the smaller beds. Not that it was much of a concern. Kevin had always been a tactile man, Argit had been born for piles of people, and between them it wasn’t at all difficult to cram the four of them into a space smaller than they had available.

It just meant they got to stretch out a bit, was all.

Gwendolyn was taking up as much space as possible, her legs hanging off the side of the bed and her head on Kevin’s chest. Meanwhile Mike had pressed the whole of himself against Kevin’s other side, stretched over him just enough so he could hold a tablet in place for he and Gwendolyn to read the book on it together. Argit didn’t even bother with distractions, content to doze splayed out across the boys’ legs, tail wrapped around Gwendolyn’s wrist. This was the norm for them, and Kevin had long accepted his destiny to be a mattress, generally working on a project or a book over the others’ heads until one of them groggily forced him to set it aside and go to sleep.

He’d already set it aside himself tonight.

“So,” he said into the quiet, fighting back a smile, “are we just not going to mention the whole ‘mine’ thing?”

“Yes.” Ears twitching, Argit snickered.

“Good. I’d much rather hear about how you talk about us all the time.” Mike groaned, shifting forward to bury his face in long red hair.

“Gwendolyn, lovely, perfect Gwendolyn-”

“Sorry, it’d work with Kevin but you know I can’t shut Argit up.” She shuffled away, just enough that she could turn her head and crane up to plant a kiss on his cheek. “It was nice to hear though. You’re harder to get an ‘I love you’ out of than Argit.”

“Because I don’t love you, Red,” Argit cut in cheekily, as Mike heaved something between a huff and a groan, “I tolerate you for the men’s sakes.”

“Uh-huh,” she replied, fidgeting with his tail, “you keep saying that.” Beneath them, Kevin chuckled as he reached out to tug gently at a lock of blond hair.

“We love you too, Sparkles.” In response Mike just pulled away with roll of his eyes and a huff, as if he wasn’t going red for probably the fourth time just since they’d pulled into the drive.

“I hate you all,” he answered with far less bite than he likely intended, “and one day I’m going to eat you out of pure spite.”

~~~~~

~~~~~

The first day of their holiday was definitely the best one. A nice, if simpler than expected, lunch with Monette. Meeting Mike’s Uncle Hector (Zombozo. Mike’s uncle was Zombozo. Zombozo, who wanted to start over fresh because apparently his line in the sand was risking making things harder on his nephew.) They’d had fresh pasta and baked apples at dinner, spent the evening exchanging stories, watching movies, and looking at pictures of Mike from birth to his teen years. Pictures Mike assured them, with a pained expression, had not been gathered for this event. His cousin and uncle were just exactly the types to have them on hand.

Monette’s parents had shown up on the second day and things had started getting tense. They loved their daughter, that was evident from the first moment they’d arrived, but otherwise… Nobody could really blame them for being openly unimpressed by Hector- excepting the younger Morningstars, apparently- but they treated Mike the same way some of Gwendolyn’s relatives treated her. Loving, but with the sharp edge of impossible expectations. The rest received polite distance, like they were some fling Mike’d drug along rather than people he’d been with several years. Still, they managed a nice, if awkward, dinner, and sat up late listening to embarrassing stories of Monette and Hector’s childhoods. It wasn’t fun, but there were fresh desserts and the evening wasn’t any more painful than larger Tennyson gatherings.

The third day though, that was Thanksgiving proper, and it brought the rest of the family. The middle cousin, Teddy, and his fiancé. His parents. Great-aunt Winnie. And suddenly, like a curtain was flung open, you could see how Darkstar happened. You could even see how Zombozo started.

These people did not like mutants.

They did not like aliens.

They did not like bastard children.

It hurt to know that the two had been outnumbered for so long.

Dinner was beyond awkward. Passive-aggressive comments flew to a degree even Argit hadn’t seen before, and he made it his job to antagonize Gwendolyn’s mother’s family whenever they met. Both sides threw jabs back and forth- about people’s jobs, people’s diets (never before had Kevin been seen passive-aggressively giving someone food but the moment Winnie had said something about Mike’s appetite it had been war), people’s lifestyles, people’s taste in clothing. Nothing, it appeared, was off limits, with the exception of a single “while you’re around” comment batted at Gwendolyn that’d had Mike tensing on the other side of the table and Monette putting her foot down as hostess. What sort’ve jab it had been was unknown to the non-Morningstars in the room, but it took a good forty seconds for people to begin talking again after the snapped reprimand.

By the end of dinner nobody was in a good mood. There was a steak knife lodged to the handle in the far wall of the dining room, from where Kevin had lost his temper and flung it at Teddy’s head (in his defense, he had warned the table about making any more comments about his partners, and Monette treated it no differently than if he’d had the misfortune to drop it on the floor), Argit was muttering about “no wonder you didn’t bring out the good cutlery for these people”, Mike, Gwendolyn, and Hector evacuated the room as soon as it was polite to do so for their own mental health, and Monette had a smile on her face that was sharp enough to cut glass. It was amazing nobody (namely Winnie) had been thrown out a window and most likely that was only because they were really nice, presumably expensive, windows.

The rest of the evening didn’t even have the decency to be entertaining. Just a slog they got through with tight-lipped politeness and a healthy dose of passive-aggression before heading to bed- ignoring the pointed comments about ‘making’ Monette give up her room as they went. Mental and emotional exhaustion had them sleeping soundly, waking at first light. They stayed long enough for coffee, breakfast, and Mike to hug his proper family members goodbye before heading out before anyone could wake up enough to start in again.

They were an hour down the highway when Kevin pulled over.

“Okay, I’m saying it now,” he announced in a tone that brooked no argument, “Monie can visit anytime, your uncle is a maybe, but I am never sitting at a table with the rest of those fuckers again in my life.” The others nodded at Mike in agreement, though Gwendolyn at least had the decency to try to look sorry.

“You know,” he replied, honestly looking like a weight had been taken off his shoulders- and with how Gwendolyn could be about her own family it probably had been- “I think I can live with that.”

[rhydianww]

Kicking and Screaming

“You don’t need the trouble, Rhydian. Just leave her alone.” This was the sage advice from the Slytherin’s just barely older sister. Owena sat next to her brother in the back seat of their mother’s car, a pile of snacks and a forgotten game of Uno laid between them. They were on their way to Kings Cross station, ready to start their fourth year of Hogwarts. 

But Rhydian was paying no head to his sister’s warning, he could hardly hear her over the music reverberating between his ear drumbs and the soft black cover over his headphones. His violet eyes were cast outward to the blurring scenery as the vehicle moved down the winding highway away from the northern welsh coast and the place they called home. Had his father been around, the family would have apparated somewhere with a floo that connected to King’s Cross, but Louis had been beckoned for work in the dead of night. His father had woken him up in to hug him goodbye and wish him well in school, and Rhydian had been too tired to be rude and deny his father the simple affection.

He felt bad for him, Rhydian, even if he’d never admit it to the older wizard’s face. But Louis hated his job and it was clear for anyone to see. He was always tired and grumpy when he came home from a mission, and he often didn’t speak to his family members until after Caerwyn would take her husbands hand and lead him to the bedroom, the door would lock behind them and they’d be gone to the world for a few hours. Rhydian knew some of what his father experienced must be horrific. Louis never spoke about work but Uncle Cleary, Louis’ partner and Rhydian’s Godfather, was much more forthcoming with information now that Rhydian was older. Knowing the bits and peices of what his father had done at work, and what had been done to him made  Rhydian just as sympathetic to his father as it did angry.

On one hand Rhydian understood his father put his life on the line and was witness to many dark and terrifying things for the sake of his family. Caerwyn and Louis had ended up pregnant and unwed at nineteen freshly graduated. His father had done what he needed to and found a job with security. On the other hand Rhydian felt that Louis’ experiences should have made him more sympathetic to his son’s illness. Louis never slept well and could be found nearly at all hours with a cup of black hot coffee in his hand. Rhydian knew it was because of work just like Rhydian had trouble sleeping because spirits. Shouldn’t that mean Louis could understand why Rhydian didn’t going new places? Why he needed his music? Why he couldn’t pay attention all the time? These were all coping skills Rhydian had unconsciously picked up from his parents after all.

But Louis didn’t seem to understand his son, and Rhydian felt he never would.

As if sensing the way her son’s thoughts were heading, Caerwyn spoke up. Owena nudged her brother, and two matching sets of violet eyes met in the rear view mirror.

“It’s Poppy’s first fucking year, you’ll keep an eye on her, won’t you?” Caerwyn asked. She was always interrupting Rhydian and Louis when they started to go at each other, always trying the ease the waves between them. Could she feel the impatience Rhydian had begun to stew in the fleeting thought about his father’s absence?

“She’s going to look simply adorable in her robes, oh I can’t wait to see her, I bet she’s going to be in Hufflepuff, just like Aunty Lils.” Owena cheered, always bright and cheerful. She was like the sun, Owena, and just like the gaseous celestial body, the world seemed to revolve around her. Everyone liked Owena, everyone wanted to be her mate. Rhydian was envious of such magnetism but also thankful. He had gone his whole life being left alone he shouldn’t think he’d take to being popular all that well now.

“Mmm.” Was Rhydian’s gruff response, his eyes falling away from his mother’s and back to the landscape. Poppy was one of Rhydian’s dozens upon dozens of cousins, a daughter of his father’s cousin Lily and her husband Lorcan. The Potter/Weasley family was large, too large for Rhydian to feel all that comfortable around every one of his cousins the way his father was, but he got on well enough with Aunty Lils’ girls. Briar and Thistle, the eldest of his aunt’s surmounting hoard, were close enough in age to Rhydian that they had been able to play as children. There were also no spirits in the valley Aunty Lils and Uncle Lori had made their home which meant Rhydian was willing to spend time there on occasion.

But home was one thing, school was another. As sort of a social pariah, Rhydian was generally avoided at school, even by his cousins. Rhydian didn’t care, he wasn’t particularly close to any of the one’s in his year anyway. Owena was really the only one he hung around with regularly at school, usually tagging along to whatever she was doing with her mates at her insistence. Most of the cousins he saw consistently were older anyway, after Addie had been born it was like a baby bomb had gone off. Sophia, Tante Vic’s daughter had been born, then James’ oldest, Junior, and then a whole ton more. If he had to pick favorites Rhydian would have to say it was Viktor, Tante Doma’s son, but he lived in Eastern europe with the Dragons so it was rarely Rhydian got to see him, they certainly didn’t go to school together.

Poppy was alright, but young and a girl. Shy but sweet. She’d make friends fast enough. Rhydian agreed with Owena’s assessment, Hufflepuff was likely.

“And leave fucking Maggie alone.” Owena quipped. Rhydian rolled his eyes as he replaced his headphones, not looking up to meet the violet eyes staring at him once more in the mirror. It was no secret what had happened over the summer at Addie’s going away party. Louis had blamed Rhydian but he hadn’t cared. There had been no use in arguing. But just because he had accepted his father’s lame punishment of having to sit at a table with him -probably what he would have been stuck doing anyway- that didn’t mean the Slytherin didn’t blame Maggie Stonefyre for him getting in trouble to begin with.

Rhydian wasn’t the forgiving type, and Owena was probably sensing her brother was scheming, but  Merlin did she have no idea what was in store for the weirdo snake bitch was in for. Maggie was a nice girl, according to Owena, ‘a Hufflepuff’ Owena had stated, dragging the house name out, her eyes reflecting exasperation. She believed no Hufflepuff was rotten to their core. And Rhydian supposed Maggie wasn’t rotten to her core, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t deserving of justice.

He started picking on Maggie the first day of classes. He found them sharing a bench in Potions oddly enough, other students were weary of the snake that curled itself around her body. Rhydian had learned the snake was passive enough though and so he took the opportunity and grabbed the seat next to her. They hadn’t spoken, but she had gone to the loo which allowed Rhydian ample time to poor a sickly smelling sap into her book bag. He had been carrying it around of hopes  of seeing her.

He expected to give her a hard time for a week or so, then move on. Just enough to upset the girl. Rhydian however did not expect retaliation. Perhaps he should have, looking back on the event over the summer, but he had assumed the gun had been Hads’ idea, she could be a wicked little thing Rhydian had observed. But you know what they say about hindsight; it’s always twenty-twenty. Maggie came back at Rhydian was a vengeance, pouring the same sap in his trunk and on his bed, he had no idea how she got in his dorm. From their things escalated to name calling, to school work sabotaging, and it was now to the point they were hexing each other in the corridors much the frustration of their Professors. They could hardly stand each other, Maggie and Rhydian to the point their anger was on sight. Peers knew to stay out of their way if they noticed the pair glaring at each other and drawing their wands. 

It landed them in detention more than once, but the Professors were loosing their patience. It wasn’t very fair either that they favored Maggie over Rhydian, especially the Arithmancy Professor who was particularly defensive of the annoying witch. But Rhydian couldn’t let it go even though he had received angry letters and phone calls from his parents by now about how often he was getting in trouble. Even Addie had written inquiring what it was that was upsetting her brother so much. He didn’t write back. Rhydian had always been a difficult and was in and out of trouble most of his school career but no one thought this fixation he had on ruining Maggie Stonefyre’s day was healthy. 

Eventually the Professors decided if the two couldn’t resolve their differences on their own, they would force them to do so. And so as a pair, the two were sent into the Forbidden Forest with Hagrid to tend to the Unicorns. Rhydian doubted it would go well, the whole thing was ludicrous. How was he, a boy, supposed to even see the unicorns?! How had Hagrid been feeding them to begin with?! It didn’t make any sense. 

“Yer Grandfather Ron-”

“Bill. My grandfather is Bill. Ron’s my great uncle.” Rhydian had reminded the half giant gently. He was getting very old, Hagrid, forgetful. He had enough wit however to recognize a Weasley when he saw one. His father having been close with Harry and Ron’s respective children, Auntie Rose and Uncle Shithead, had known the half giant well in their time at Hogwarts. And he was kind, Rhydian noted, in a way that was quite rare.

The two spoke about family and Great Uncle Harry’s heroism until they were joined under the stars at the edge on the Forrest by Maggie. Hagrid gave a small lantern to each of them a bid them to follow after him into the woods. 

[teatoohottohandle]

Friendships!

Thinking about how friendships are so much better than any romantic relationship I've ever had.

I just finished reading Samantha Irby's Meaty and this part on frenemies resonated with me because... who hasn't had a boyfriend (or toxic partner) who made them insecure about their relationship and did nothing to course-correct the insecurity infecting the the relationships wellbeing (and I don't mean to personify a relationship, but I think it's important to)?

I know a handful of motherfuckers throwing shade at MY ASS while scrolling through their boyfriends' text messages in the middle of the night trying to figure out whether those dudes are seeing someone else. [...] You know what I don't have to do? Wonder where my boyfriend is all day. Wonder why my boyfriend didn't answer his cell phone. Wonder why my boyfriend's Facebook is private. Wonder who my boyfriend is texting during dinner. All of this free time to read books and go to shows and cultivate personal interests can really get to a person.

And if that isn't the most gorgeous and truthful paragraph ever on insecurity in romantic relationships? I understand that maybe Irby is also implying you yourself have work to do if you're scrolling through your partner's text messages, and asking all of these questions that border paranoia, but it's very true. I felt very seen by Irby's words.

Being single and having a group of really great, thoughtful friends who question romance, the patriarchy, and capitalism and how they all work together to incite violent and toxic relationships make me feel like... I could die without a romantic partner and be surrounded by such great friends and still feel fulfilled and abundant.

This past therapy session, I spoke with my therapist about romance and what love looked like growing up (more like she helped tie some loose strings together that was eye-opening and like whoa). My parents argued often. My three older sisters fought and argued as well. They never spoke to one another. My parents never spoke unless they were fighting about money. Eventually we had some uncles and aunts and my naughty fucking cousin who won't be named, but folks who know him know how he's naughty -- move into our basement from Vietnam and that was hard on the family having so many people live in fear, anger, and loneliness. And that for me was what love looked like -- a lot of fear, anger, and unsolicited caretaking.

Out of fear, my mother never spoke up against my dad until she couldn't take it anymore and lashed out and then became slowly independent. Anger started arguments and fights and no one ever explicitly apologized so I never understood how to effectively apologize or if apologies were even necessary to heal what was hurt. My aunts and uncles relied so heavily on my mother that it drained her until she got incredibly sick, but even when they didn't need her, she showed up and gave unsolicited help/advice/guidance. She acted as a caretaker even when she couldn't handle it. Even when others don't ask and in fact, ask her to leave.

My therapist asked me if I saw fear, anger, and unsolicited caretaking in how I treated my romantic relationships. I said, yes. Absolutely.

Through TKJ, he had told me that he was the caretaker, but I resented him for that. I resented him and tried to one-up him all the time. And I was fearful of losing him that it made me angry whenever he made a new friend who was a woman. He was just making friends, but I couldn't admit that it was about my fear, I made it about how he was a player.

Beloved CDL had just lost his grandmother. Instead of giving him space to process and take care of his needs, I latched on harder and he pushed me back even harder. He broke up with me when I was drunk in the Tattered Cover parking lot on Colfax Ave citing "he was going through a lot". True, but still an asshole move.

And countless other dating / weird no-label, but only explicitly seeing each other situationships where it was so hard for me to voice my needs because I felt like I had to take care of them first. Note: I'm removing friends with benefits from this list because I don't count them as romantic endeavors. Rather, they're friends I'm intimate with?

Noticing and recognizing all of that made me feel so unbearable. I hate it when others take care of me or attempt to, even if I'm whimpering with my tail between my legs. I decline help and on purpose so I feel like I save the day. And all of this is really only with romantic relationships. Not with friendships.

My friends respect my boundaries and I, theirs. I never fear that I'll lose them to another friend, instead, I feel like they'd tell me when I'm being a bad friend and how to be a better friend. And I'll do what they ask of me. Our relationship is more malleable and full of love and abundance. If we're angry at each other, we'll ask and resolve it. Not just for the sake of returning to neutrality, but to truly and deeply understand one another. Yet I feel like I'm treading on thin ice in romantic relationships because I'm dancing with unresolved demons.

I'm not sure how to bridge the healthy behaviors and attitudes I have with platonic relationships and practice them in romantic relationships while healing intergenerational trauma. I suppose the first step is to identify it, acknowledge it, and the rest is going to be extremely difficult. Changing is hard and scary. But I really want to dedicate energy towards loving myself as it's clear that I won't find a wholesome and satisfying romantic relationship until that happens. Otherwise, I'll be falling into those booby traps of fear, anger, and unsolicited caretaking. 

[saltyaro]

[Image description: The cover of the 5th book of Aromantic (love) Story. It features a drawn woman in a red tank top, a white skirt that hides her heels, and red high heels shoes. She has her hands on her hips and looks confident.]

You know what I forgot to do? That review on the 5th and last tome of aromantic (love) story. For those who weren’t aware yet, I’m not going to keep the suspense going on any longer: yes, it is safe, no, the heroine doesn’t end up as a straight woman. That’s already a victory in itself, so now all of you can go ahead and buy it if it’s available in your country ;) 

The actual review is under the read more, it’s not spoiler free so!

So, Futaba (the main character) tried dating to see if she’s able to develop romance, or not. The person she chose to do so with of course knows about it, and they’re actually both trying it to see if they can understand romance. Futaba still can’t imagine romantic attraction outside of sexual attraction, which frustrates her, because she *knows* allo aces are a thing so obviously, sexual desire isn’t necessarily linked! The viewpoint of her (straight dude) partner-in-crime is...well, not surprising at all, actually. His opinion is that romantic feelings are born of, on one hand, wanting the other person’s happiness, while also wanting to possess them and keep them all to yourself. 

This is, well. A very Straight Man™ way of seeing things, but, on the other hand, this point of view isn’t limited to them. (I promise, I’m not going to ramble about how it’s scary that society puts such a violent feeling as the most beautiful and important. Not on this post at least)

Fun note, at least for me, you have the classical “guy is sick, girl brings him medicine” except...Futaba gives him the medicine and just. Leaves. I love her. Well, she ends up going to his apartment, but that’s where her being aro really stands out. Usually, in a basic romcom, everyone’s flushed, and it’s annoying. But Futaba is aro, so she isn’t embarrassed, she just sees someone she cares about being sick and wants to help. She’s very natural and stoic about the whole situation. It may seem like a detail, but honestly I find that so important!

She explains that, when she was a teenager, she avoided men as much as possible (to avoid romance) and I relate. So fucking much. I don’t know if any of you did the same, but with my parents bugging me about boys, I just avoided them as much as possible (with a few exceptions). I didn’t feel unsafe around men yet back then, so I know that’s not what it was. 

She explains she was afraid of creating misunderstandings, and ended up not using the world “love” at all because of that. I relate to that so much too, I’m trying to heal from that, and I think it’s important, really important, for us as a community, to learn to separate love from romance. Anyway, this kind of struggle that just...hinders your vocabulary options is really a shame, and I’m glad to see a character mention it (and not be shamed for it!).

Are you ready for some Hetero Bashing™? Because Futaba reunites with her friends and they talk a bit. The Straight dude (Kyosuke) asked Futaba to think about marrying him, and she’s a bit “huuuuuh” so she talks about it to her friends. Friend 1 is like “well, you don’t need to be *in romance* to get married. I have friends, a straight dude and a lesbian, who got married by necessity” and Futaba expresses that she never thought such a thing would happen to her, she never thought of marriage being an option for her. Friend 2 they says that it’s the contrary for her, impossible to avoid the idea of marriage and children, despite not wanting either, because it’s been so ingrained in her head. “you know, the “to perpetuate the specie” argument, like having descendance is every human’s mission...”

And the friend 1 says “ah...the perfect exemple of a notion made by straight people to validate their point of view!” and I love that?? I mean, in general, even in the larger queer community, we’re dancing around the argument, finding proof that there are non-straight animals in all species, and all. She then adds “If reproductions is *that* important...then rich single people could have a ton of kids using articifial fertilization and bingo, they’d have contributed to society’s well-being!” Friend 2 is like “uuuuh, that would raise ethical issues” to what friend 2 answers: “Personally, I kinda reaaally don’t care for lessons of morality from a society that considers sexual minorities and childfree people as useless. If we consider that humanity will necessarily go extinct one day, then mating to reproduce is nothing but a useless cycle”. I really like that take which’s why I *had* to share it despite it being so long to read haha. 

Futaba is surprised by her words, so friend 2 explains that friend 1 is worried that a straight guy is going to steal Futaba from them, and she doesn’t want to be abandoned. Friend 1 is bi but that’s a very aro sentiment here tbh. 

(Straight bashing, over)

You have the usual meeting with the family...god, how realistic is that, you see your aunt and uncle you haven’t seen in maybe years and the only thing they’re interested in, is whether or not you’ve found a romantic partner. I swear, I got annoyed for the character cause it’s so true. She’s bothered (and I am too) by her grandma’s affirmation that everyones gets married someday. I hate that, it really, really annoys me that I supposedly can’t be free to make my own decisions! But she also knows that it would be useless to explain to her grandma that her words are paternalism, so she lets her be. Because she means well, and maybe that’s the worst thing about amatonormativity and its assumptions...that the people upholding those mean well. 

The manga also touches (rapidly) on Futaba feeling of guilt for not being sincere with her family. Her parents aren’t pressuring her to get married, but she knows that seeing their only child, still single, and over 30, is sure to make them worried (especially given she’s not exactly wealthy). I can’t express how much I love seeing a character like that, she knows what she wants, but there’s still this lingering feeling that keeps you from feeling totally at ease, regardless of how much confidence you’ve got. It’s only natural and nothing to be ashamed of. 

I think one of my favourite moments of this book - maybe of all the serie? is after Kyosuke’s friends remotivates Futaba by, basically, telling her to do what she always did, fight out of spite, even if that means to accept to sometimes take hits (this happens throught the phone). Kyosuke says to his friend, that he would never have neeb able to say such things to him, and his friend answers that love blinds him, and prevents him from seeing what she really needs. To that, Kyosuke doesn’t answer, and his friend understands immediately and says “That look...maybe you actually nurture this self-deception.” 

And I love this moment because, for Futaba to be happy, she needs to be single, and free. From him, and his expectations of romance, because even though he knows, rationally speaking, that she won’t ever feel the same, he still wants her, and still wants to be the one at her side - when no one should be. Not in a partnership way anyway. He’s actually choosing to ignore the rational part of him because he still hopes for her to make the difficult choice, and stay at his side, because it’s not really that he wants her to be happy but rather, that he wants to be the one to make her happy, which is of course, extremely selfish and possessive. I love that it’s just laid here, without ambiguity. What’s great also, is that the straight dude in romo realizes what he’s doing, even if he tries to ignore that. Later in the manga, Kyosuke thinks to himself that he couldn’t help but hope that she would concecede, yield, and accept him, despite knowing that’s not what she needs, and knowing that’s not the way you build a positive relationship. I...don’t know if alloro usually know they’re doing such things? I don’t know what’s worse, to be confident you’re not doing that shit when you’re doing it, or to keep on doing it even though you’re aware. 

On a sidenote, I really, really like that she got boosted by the least expected person? They don’t like each other, they’re more or less at each other’s throat most of the time cause he’s sexist and unsentitive, but in the end, he was touched by the anger in the beginnings of her work, and it built a sort of...professional trust between the two of them. Like, those characters won’t ever be friends, but there’s still that little place of trust between them, it’s a delicate portrayal of ambiguous relationships. 

Basically, what ends the manga, if the end of Futaba’s own manga (the romantic comedy). And I really like the outlook she has on it, at the end of her 2 years and a half of work. Even though she didn’t want to write such a thing, in the end, she met a lot of people thanks to it, and, through challenging her own vision of relationships and romance, she finally managed to complete her certitude in herself and who she is. I think that’s a lovely parallel. 

It also ends her questions, and she rejects Kyosuke (I usually can’t help but laugh when a Straight man gets rejected in fiction I’m an asshole I know). Their conversation is really lovely after that, and challenged the expectations of partnership. Kyosuke asks her if she would have accepted his proposal if, like one year ago, he didn’t feel anything towards her. And her answer is no. She did think about it, imagining their marriage as a fake straight couple, and how she knew that, while it would have asked concessions and sacrifices from both of them, they could have been happy.  But what she needs isn’t some stability based on renunciations, but ton confront reality, so she can live in agreement with herself. 

Also, the moment after her choice, loneliness and worry strike her, and she acknowledges that feeling, because it’s okay, it doesn’t mean she made the wrong choice. It will pass. 

The younger guy who’s also in romance with her, interestingly enough, resolves the situation in a very mature way. He asks her if she’s found her answer, when they’re about to part ways (he’s no longer her assistant), and she says that, yes, she doesn’t feel romance - and he thanks her, for having endured his weirdness all this time, and bids her farewell. And we then have his thoughts - while his decisions, to act that way, was difficult for him, he did so because it was the right thing to do and he realized that insisting would have bothered her. That was nice. The situation is weird for Futaba too, because, as his senior, she kinda felt responsible for him, protective maybe? And she’s a bit overwhelmed by how much this kid’s grown. 

There’s an epilogue of sorts, and we can see that Futaba decided to entirely live while being true to herself, which also means making some changes. 

To conclude: I really liked this serie! It’s nice to see a woman over 30, finally embracing herself - despite having gone through doubts, even at her age - after making sure she was right about her feelings. She’s, well, asexual I think, but it’s the aro part that matters to her, and really has an influence on her life, the ace part is more of an afterthought. It’s also nice to see a nonamorous aromantic woman! Aro women are already hard to grasp in our amatonormative and migogynistic society, so a nonamorous one probably even more so. 

It was overall a really nice experience, I’m not going to say everything was perfect, and her aromanticism is the topic of the story, but Futaba is also her own person and this is never downplayed in favour of talking about her identity. Definitely something too rare and, as such, very enjoyable. 

[meddlingdaphne]

get to know DAPHNE BLAKE

The Blake family name comes with a legacy that extends far beyond Coolsville, California. Their wealth extends for generations, and their family tree spreads all across the globe. No matter what Blake you’re referring to, they’re doing something exceptional. An uncle that’s a movie director, an aunt that owns a record company, a sister that’s an astronaut. Everyone’s spectacular and it was just expected that Daphne would fall in line with that. 

Daphne’s the youngest of the Blake girls, and if there was ever a time where her parents were actively present in raising their children then it happened long before Daphne was born. Her father had a mega-corporation to run and her mother kept her phone glued to her ear as she organized galas and benefit dinners for the charity of the month. Daphne’s sisters were all teenagers when she was just a little girl, choosing parties and relationships over playing with their baby sister. With no one to turn to, Daphne grew close with the family butler Jenkins. 

For a while, Jenkins was Daphne’s only friend. He’d sit and dress her dolls with her, they’d have weekly tea parties with her stuffed animals and he’d read her bedtime stories every night. Jenkins always kept an air of professionalism about him, referring to her only as Ms. Blake despite the fact that he was more of a father figure to her than her actual father. The lines of their relationship are a little blurry, and Daphne is unsure if the butler truly does care for her or if he went out of his way for because he was expected to. Either way, she knows no matter what she can depend on Jenkins when she’s in a tight spot (and she often is.) 

When Daphne’s parents were around conversations hardly centered around her interests. Her parents are absolute pretentious snobs, judging everything the people around them did. A person’s worth was based on the quality of their clothes and the job they held. When she was younger she held some of those pretentious values herself, caring way more about people’s appearance more than much else. But becoming friends with Shaggy, Velma and Fred changed all of that for her. Spending time with them was the first time she’d ever felt truly seen. More than just the spoiled little rich girl, more than something to admire for her beauty.

At first, Daphne didn’t share much about her family with the gang. They knew she was rich and that she had a butler who’d move mountains to make sure she was happy, but not very much else about her life was shared. She never liked talking about how neglected she felt at home. She always thought at least she had parents, even if they weren’t around on a daily basis or put a lot of pressure on her. Her problems were trivial in the grand scheme of things, and a lot of their peers made sure she knew that. But never the Mystery Inc. gang, when she finally did open up they listened to her and gave what she had to say the same attention they’d give a mystery. Daphne was so touched she almost cried. She didn’t though because she didn’t want to ruin her mascara, but she almost did and that’s what matters. 

Daphne doesn’t have the best relationship with her older sisters, especially her sister Daisy. Growing up she often felt overshadowed by them. Their mother especially spent a lot of time comparing Daphne to her sisters, wanting Daphne to do something worthy of the Blake name when she grew older. While Delilah, Dorothy and Dawn were too busy to really bother their baby sister, Daisy took a special interest in picking on her sister. She picked apart the younger Blake’s outfits and made fun of her friends. If Daphne so much as got a B- in a class Daisy was there to remind her that she had been a straight A student. Life in sister’s shadow was cold, living under her constant nitpicking was colder. 

It isn’t until her sophomore year in high school that Daphne tells her family about Mystery Inc. By then they’d solved a handful of mysteries and had made a bit of a name for themselves around town for their meddling. The silly neighborhood mysteries the kids solved were no where near her parents radar, and despite a lot of the town knowing about it her parents were utterly clueless. The news didn’t come from Daphne by choice, rather by force. Daisy brings it up at dinner, knowing exactly the reaction the information would earn from her parents. 

It’s safe to say dinner doesn’t go well. Her parents write off Mystery Inc. as a silly game, something unimportant that they didn’t have to pay much attention to. They spent the majority of the dinner making fun of the entire thing and insisting that she and her friends were wasting her time. Most importantly that she was wasting her time hanging out with these kids in the first place.  

Danger Prone Daphne is a nickname she hates. Even though it does hold a lot of merit. In the pursuit of their cases Daphne is always the first to fall through a trap door, get kidnapped, or trip over something. It’s a part of the reason she started looking into self defense classes. She dropped a lot of money on getting the best instruction that she could. Thinking back on it, as much as she hates the name, she’s kind of proud of how far she’s come because of it. 

In high school Daphne was a part of so many clubs. She wasn’t dumb, but she knew her grades weren’t as spectacular as her sisters’ and especially not Velma’s. So she joined a lot of clubs hoping it would beef up her resume, and it was a great way to stay in the know and make friends! If something happened around town that needed investigating it was likely Daphne would hear about it first. One of the clubs she’d joined was the broadcasting club. She can’t lie, what initially drew her to it was the prospect of being in front of the camera. But the more she worked with her fellow club members and their instructor, the more she appreciated the work they did. 

Daphne was nominated for prom queen, because of course she was. The gang had been asked to investigate some suspicious sightings that was scaring away business at their favorite food spot. Her parents were thrilled at the prospect of their little girl being prom queen, and Daphne was excited about it too. Or so she thought. When the gang found out the perpetrator was skulking around the diner again, there was a moment where Daphne wondered if she was really going to leave her senior prom early to go chasing some creep. But the doubt lasted for only a second, and Daphne ran after her friends to go investigate the sighting. It was that moment that she realized solving mysteries was something she loved more than being applauded for her beauty and glamour. 

The diner case was, at the time, the biggest case the gang had solved at the time. It earned them front page in their local newspaper and the headline ‘Meddling Kids Save Local Business’ made its way across the web. Mystery Inc was slowly starting to get the appreciate Daphne always thought they deserved. 

When she told her parents that she wanted to major in journalism in college there were mixed opinions. On one end, they thought that would be a great job for her. Not as important as being a doctor or an astronaut or anything else her sisters were doing, but a good job nonetheless. Maybe she could own her own entertainment empire! That glee died the second they going out she intended to follow her friends and go to the same college. Daphne’s parents never miss an opportunity to tell her just how disappointed they are in her choices. 

She does have plans to own her own entertainment empire. She wants to start with an investigative journalism show, she’s thinking Coast to Coast with Daphne Blake has a nice ring to it.

Despite being ridiculously rich, Daphne thought it’d be in her best interest to learn some financial independence. Her parents still send her money monthly to make sure she’s ok, and of course they’re paying her tuition. But Daphne hardly spends the money they send her, she puts it away in her savings account in case of a rainy day. And even then she doesn’t really think she’s going to use it because of her pride. Daphne got a job at Bibbidi Bobbiddi Beauty, and she’s made a name for herself amongst their regulars for always knowing the best products to try. 

Always looks her best! No matter what. Her work out clothes are always the cutest, her makeup is always on point and her hair always perfectly in place. She’s not as vain and appearance obsessed as she used to be, but she still takes great pride in the way she looks. When she looks her best, she feels her best. 

Daphne is almost always spending her free time at the gym. She’s interested in expanding her knowledge of self defense outside of just karate. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS. 

MYSTERY BUDDIES!! anyone who knows anything about the powers and magic? She wants to talk to you 

SHOPPING BUDDIES!! this one is pretty self explanatory, she wants someone to buy cute clothes with pls 

REGULARS. anyone who comes into the makeup store, whether it’s for themselves or to buy a gift for their partner. chances are Daphne helped them and she’d be ecstatic to help them again 

CRUSH. canonically Daphne keeps a romantic interest, and i’mma be real she is very easily smitten so a crush or two, whether unreciprocated or not, would be nice 

EXES. yeah...yeah. y’all know i say this every time but the angstier the better

[justjibberjabber]

To Phyllis

Phyllis had never been to the zoo.

Her mother had been an alcoholic, and though her father had once been a kind man, he had become bitter with years of Vera’s drinking and handling the busy hardware store on his own. Nobody had time or interest in taking her to the zoo. There was a period of Phyllis’s childhood, from about the ages of seven to ten, that she spent summers with an aunt and uncle at their cabin outside the city.

Every morning, she woke to the smell of bacon and eggs cooking on her aunt’s electric skillet. Her aunt Edna would brown a piece of toast, slather it in butter and jelly, and cut it in half – diagonally, the way Phyllis liked. Then she’d make a smiley face on Phyllis’s plate – the triangles of toast for eyes, an egg for the nose, and a greasy bacon smile.

After breakfast, her uncle Tom would take her out fishing on the lake in the jon boat, or maybe they’d pick up sticks for firewood. Some mornings they’d drive to the filling station in town for fuel and the newspaper, and uncle Tom would give her a nickel for the gumball machine. Phyllis remembered many evenings spent around the fire listening to the crickets and frogs in the woods, counting the stars that peaked through the canopy of trees, and roasting marshmallows. Sometimes Phyllis liked to catch the marshmallows on fire, let the outside burn to a black crisp, and then peel the burnt shell off to enjoy the warm gooey marshmallow within. Other times, she would hold them high above the flames so that they wouldn’t brown but would be hot on the outside while still cool on the inside.

During the final weeks of summer as Labor Day approached heralding the return to school – and to life with her parents – Phyllis’s despair would mount with each passing day. It was March of 4th grade, just as the crocuses were in bloom and the trees were starting to green and the days beginning to warm, that the news came of her aunt and uncle’s death in a tragic accident. The local fire chief suspected that a windy March night had blown embers in through the open kitchen window, setting their home aflame.

As Phyllis grieved that summer for the loss of her aunt and uncle, she did her best to stay out of her father’s way and to avoid her mother’s drunken fits. She tried making bacon and eggs with butter jelly toast the way her aunt Edna had, but the eggs were runny, the bacon burned, and her father never bought any jelly.

When she was seventeen, a young man named Jack started delivering supplies to her father’s hardware store. At the behest of her father’s constant prodding and persuasion, Phyllis and Jack were married shortly thereafter. She didn’t realize it at the time, but her father had been eager to have someone else “take care of” Phyllis – her mother had passed when she was 15 from cirrhosis of the liver, and the hospital bills and funeral costs had nearly drained the family of any savings. Marrying her off had allowed her father to sell the house and save himself from complete financial ruin; for a few years after, he used the back office of the store as his lodgings and ate one meal a day from the diner down the street.

Phyllis and Jack’s marriage was happy enough – they took the car for rides on Sundays, and would sometimes go see a picture together. Jack would say things that made Phyllis laugh, and somehow, against all odds, Phyllis became quite a good cook for Jack. Phyllis had decided there wasn’t much passion or romantic love in their relationship, but more of a friendship – a partner, someone to work through the hardships of life together, to keep one another’s company and stave off the loneliness, and that was enough for her. They both took it pretty hard when they were unable to conceive after years of trying, hoping, but resolved to live out their days together in the good way that they got along, regardless of the unusual circumstances of their coming together.

When Jack passed unexpectedly of an early morning heart attack at the age of 73, Phyllis struggled at first with living alone. She realized she had never actually been alone in all her life, even if, at times, those that kept her company were disinterested in her and aloof. She eventually fell into a new swing of things, though, and did her best to keep busy. She got a kitten the following spring from a neighbor whose cat had born a litter  – a pretty little calico with fluffy cheeks and a bushy tail. “Kitten” was her name, even as she became a full-grown cat, and Kitten would keep Phyllis company while she tended her garden until her knees and back became too bad to bear the work anymore. The arthritis in her hands eventually made her put down her knitting needles, and when she fell in the bathroom, she finally conceded to herself that maybe it was time to sell the house and move into “an old people’s home.”

Phyllis told me all of this after shuffling over to the bench to sit next to me in front of the lions at the Bronx Zoo. She had quite a stooping posture, but with the help of her walker, she seemed to be fairly steady on her feet. She told me that her assisted living home had planned an outing to the zoo that day, and she was not going to miss it for anything. She had just left the area where they kept the hippos, and was surprised to find out that hippo teeth don’t look like marshmallows after all, like they always did in the cartoons she watched as a kid. That was okay though, she’d told me – she really just wanted to see a great big lion open its great big mouth in a great big yawn, and she’d be happy. They held a yoga class once a week at her home, and she’d learned the “lion’s breath” technique. “How neat it’d be to do a lion’s breath with a real lion,” she had said.

I found out that Phyllis’s home was not far from the pastry shop where I worked, so I’d stop in to visit her once a week and bring her a baked treat. I never said much during our visits – Phyllis did most of the talking – but I was okay with that. I got the feeling that Phyllis hadn’t talked much during her life and maybe needed to get some things out.

Eventually, I started to notice that Phyllis didn’t seem to be doing as well as when I had met her, and I feared she was truly going downhill. I stopped in one day, and Phyllis was lying in bed. She told me she didn’t feel like getting up that day, and she’d never spent a single day of her life relaxing in bed before, so by god she was going to do it today. She lay on her side with the pillow crammed between her arm and her head. She turned her eyes to me, and I swear she looked straight into my soul with those dark brown eyes when she said, “Life is strange. You gotta make the best of it. And that means different things to different people.” I gave her hand a gentle squeeze, smiled, and said, “That’s really nice, Phyllis. Thank you.”

We had been sitting quietly for a while when Phyllis finally spoke. “Get in my desk over there for me. In the top drawer on the right. There’s something in there I want you to have.” I opened the drawer, and there, on top of a stack of old postcards, lay a Christmas ornament. She had bought it from the gift shop at the zoo the day of the zoo outing. It was a ceramic purple hippo wearing a Santa hat, mouth wide open revealing the perfect dentition within – perfectly white, perfectly round, perfectly marshmallow-shaped teeth.

She passed away eight days later. The nurses told me she suffered very little, which I was thankful for. More than all, I was thankful that Phyllis chose to sit at the bench outside the lion den, thankful that I was sitting at that very same bench at that very same moment, thankful to have made her acquaintance and have her friendship. Because of her and the life wisdom she imparted upon me, I took a chance on myself and auditioned for a part in a Broadway play. I got the part. My acting career blossomed from there, and I quit my job at the pastry shop. Phyllis’s purple hippo hangs from the rearview mirror in my car, and I think of her every day when I look in my mirror at the mother behind me screaming at her kids in the backseat, or the construction worker munching on a sandwich on his way back to the job site – all just everyday people making the best of their lives in the whatever way means the most to them.

My nephew Ben visits me for a couple weeks every summer. I make him bacon and eggs and butter jelly toast, except he likes the toast cut horizontally into two rectangles. Every night, we cook a few marshmallows on the stove – some of them we burn to a crisp, and some of them we hold high up over the flames so they’re hot on the outside and cool on the inside. We clink our marshmallows together in a toast to Phyllis. Although Ben was confused at first and didn’t know who Phyllis was, he now joins in wholeheartedly as we pay nightly homage to the woman who helped me become who I am.

“To Phyllis!” he says.

I smile and say, “Yes. To Phyllis.”

[theoriginalladya]

Character Solidifying: 20-25 for Casey, 32-37 for Caleb, and maybe the last 5 questions for Ryn?

from this prompt list

Thank you so much for asking!!!

Casey MacKinnon-Theirin

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

Well, safe to say the Blight.  She’s about three or four at the time of it, so she has some vague memories of it, plus she hears stories from her parents and their friends, as well as Fergus and her uncle in Highever.  She is very aware of the events instigated by Rendon Howe at Highever - again, through those same sources.  In fact, when she is older, she asks her mother some specifics about it because for the first part of the Blight, Serafina is in occupied Highever.  

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

Casey is very well mannered for the most part; as a child, she is subject to the behaviors of a child, of course, which are as unpredictable as they are varied.  Her parents introduce her to the Hero of Ferelden - for a man who has the word in his ‘name,’ she tends to think of the Wardens as her ‘typical’ hero, though she is well aware that her Mama and Uncle Sean and Fergus are heroes in their own right, too.  Casey doesn’t really discover what true hatred of a person can be until she is an adult.  I’m not going to go into details on that right now as it is part of a plot line that will include her in the stories.

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

Oh boy, you really want me to think of her as an adult, don’t you?! lol  Let me see ... she has a group of friends (fellow pages/squires) when she is training at Highever with whom she is close.  As for lovers (I seriously haven’t given this any thought at all yet!), I suppose her ‘idea’ is someone who treats her as an equal, who respects her (as she will them) and with whom she is comfortable.  Her ideas of ‘perfect’ relationships are the ones she sees around her - her Mama and Alistair, her Uncle Sean and Aunt Josie (they’ve known one another since they were kids and always knew they’d end up together), Teyrn Fergus and his wife, etc.  I think she’d use those as ‘guidelines,’ if you will in what she looks for.  As to what she actually finds, that will have to wait and see!

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

For the first part of this question, see the previous one.  When she’s older, Casey wants to have a long term relationship with someone, definitely, and she knows sex will be a part of that.  As for her specific thoughts about it, again will have to wait. (that’s something I need to think about more in specific terms of when I know who she’ll be with!)

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

Casey is the ‘observer’ most of the time in a group.  She’s a people watcher, basically.  She’s pretty good at figuring them out based off body language and things like that.  Like her mother, she’s the lone rogue of her group, and because of some of the specific training her mother gives her from a very young age, she has a bit of an edge in that department.  There are times she likes to be the leader in the group, but those times are rare and far between, and  usually only in a closed sort of setting (like her mother and uncle, Casey and her friends like to gather down at the Cove and have bonfires without anyone else around)

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

Casey loves to read, sing and perform.  Outside of that, her grandmother (who is also in Highever when she’s there) teaches her how to knit, though she is bad at it.  At some point in her life in Denerim (before going to Highever), she spends some time during visits (either in Denerim or up at Vigil’s Keep) with the Grey Wardens and Nathaniel teaches her how to carve things out of wood.  Surprisingly, this is something she takes a liking to, and she becomes quite good at it over the years.  Figures, decorative pieces that can be turned into jewelry, etc.  It’s only later and a passing comment by her Uncle Sean that she recalls her great grandfather used to make instruments in a similar manner.  

Caleb Shepard

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

Caleb learns early on to compartmentalize things.  Life is all about survival.  He doesn’t recall his life before he was about age 6, and when he joins the Reds, the tactic comes in handy, especially if things go bad.  More than once he’s watched someone he considers a close friend die right in front of him.  This training is something that follows him through into his military years.  Only once or twice does he have difficulty shutting away his thoughts/feelings because of it.

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health? 

Caleb will drink occasionally - usually beer (if it’s Guinness) or whiskey.  Drugs are out of the question (it will tie in with his Reds experiences).  His health, outside of the punishment he is dealt on a daily basis as a soldier, is pretty good.

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

In a way (and he and Thane have long conversations about this during the hunt for the Collectors), he is very similar to Thane in the way he views himself.  He is a highly trained weapon.  Unlike Thane, he has a bit more leeway in deciding when to implement and utilize that.  I wouldn’t say he’s self-righteous or revengeful or even contemptuous.  However, afterr the Reaper War, he will have to face certain things that might well change that ...

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

Colin.  Nora.  Brennan.  Aoife. // Akuze.  Virmire.  Thessia.  These are some of the biggest ‘disasters’ and ‘failures’ in his life.  He takes them hard.  VERY hard, and never really gets over them.  As he gets older, the longer he serves in the Alliance, he learns to hide them better.  He and Kaidan will actually argue about this at some point in their stories. (I’ll wait and let the rest play out then)

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

This is an interesting quesiton.  Caleb doesn’t like to suffer, no.  Will he?  If it means someone else won’t have to, sure.  But suffering for the sake of suffering?  Nope.  Not his style.  

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot?

He is a son of Ireland - of course he has a sense of imagination!  I wouldn’t say he daydreams a lot - maybe once in a while, but very rarely.  Still, he loves the stories and poems and music of his native land and especially once he leaves the Alliance after the War, he will see what he can do about ‘reclaiming’ some of that in his life.  

Ryn Bailey

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

Kathryn Bailey is a biotic, a Vanguard to be specific, so her metabolism has always been on her side as far as that’s concerned.  She’s about 5′6 - 5′8 or so; pretty average height for a woman, perhaps a bit taller than usual.  (Reyes doesn’t mind, trust me! ;) )  She isn’t an overly physical person outside of her Alliance training.  In other words, she isn’t an athlete or into physical exercise really.  She’s pretty satisfied with herself, truth be told, and that was BEFORE she met Reyes (and oh yes, he approves! lol)

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible?

Ryn sees her self as an ‘average’ human woman.  Given her training, she likes to blend into a crowd rather than be seen, and she does that pretty well.  Even within Reyes’ group, she’s there, the others know she’s there, but she can be in the same room as everyone else and people will ask, “Where’s Ryn?”  That’s what I mean by ‘blend in.’

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

Um ... when she’s in biotic mode?  Definitely energetic.  She is, overall, a pretty controlled person.  “Weak” or “Sluggish” only comes into play if Reyes has been teasing her recently. LOL

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

Pretty average.  She and her twin both grew up in the Midwest US (Chicago area) and have a pretty plain way of speaking, no accent really.  She’s not a shouter unless she’s in the heat of battle and then adrenaline can do a number on her!  She might occasionally get into a situation where she’s caught too far off guard by a situation and it’s obvious in her voice, but that’s only happened once to her that she can remember, and that was when Reyes found out the truth about her.  He got over it, and so did she. :P

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

I’d say probably closest to cheerful.  She and her twin learned to be pretty independent from a young age and especially after their parents split up, but they always had each other.  Even now, 600+ years away from the Milky Way, things in Andromeda falling apart around her, she’s practical, but always seems to have a smile on her face when the going gets tough.  

[geewithluv]

jungkook ♛ meeting her parents

Ｐａｉｒｉｎｇ：Jeon Jungkook x Fem!OC Emmie

Ｇｅｎｒｅ：Fluff

Ｗａｒｎｉｎｇｓ： none

Ｒａｔｉｎｇ：G

Ｗｏｒｄ Ｃｏｕｎｔ：1.4k

Ａ／Ｎ： «this belongs in my headcanon universe and you can read the other parts in the masterlist, the description of the characters is [here] so you get a summary of who they are. »

ｍａｓｔｅｒｌｉｓｔ

Emmie had a big family. A really big family. Big enough that she had to triple check she brought gifts for everyone because a double-check had proven inadequate. She was one of 8 children and her aunts and uncles all had at least 3 kids as well. Annual family reunions looked more like concerts and despite having moved to Korea after her study-abroad turned into a dream job 3 years ago, she hadn’t missed a single family reunion and she refused to.

 Emmie and Jungkook had been together for about a year when family reunion season came around. It was between the Europe and Asia legs of the Speak Yourself Tour which worked out really well for Jungkook who wanted to meet Emmie’s family. 

 Emmie had explained to Jungkook that you didn’t just meet her family, you experienced them and she wasn’t sure a family reunion would be the best idea. They’d only been dating for a year and sure she wouldn’t be the first person to bring their partner, her cousin once brought a guy she had only been dating for a month and they broke up during the barbeque. But she was still worried. She knew it would be the 3rd year where her relatives would wonder if she was secretly miserable in Korea. She knew they did it out of concern for her but that didn’t make it any less annoying and she didn’t want to throw Jungkook into that.

 He insisted, however. And she agreed. Her mother was so excited Emmie thought she’d come to Korea herself to gather the couple. Her father shared similar feelings but played his ‘protective dad’ role well over the phone when she called them. 

 To Jungkook, this trip was an adventure. It was also a way to prove how serious he was about their relationship. He was so deeply in love and no matter how many times he said it and how many times she said it back and told him that she knew he loved her, he still felt like she didn’t really get it.

 “I think my mom had to straightjacket Amber.” Emmie tells Jungkook, referring to her 15-year-old sister who was a huge fan and upon figuring out Emmie was dating THE Jeon Jungkook had done her best Mariah Carey “Emotions” whistle note only cover on the phone. And she nearly fainted when she figured out she’d be able to actually meet him and talk to him. Emmie was less than thrilled as she tried to guide her sister into not being weird around her boyfriend (“No you cannot call him Jungkook-oppa.” “Why not?” “Because it’s weird.” “But he’s my oppa…” “He’s not your-- never mind.”). She loved her sister but not this part of her.

 Jungkook laughed. “She’s that excited?”

 “You have no idea. She might try to kidnap you.”

 “I’m always up for a little danger to get the blood pumping.” He said as the flight attendants started their spiel on safety protocol.

 Emmie had told Jungkook about her life back home. Her parents didn’t have a lot of money even before they decided to have 8 kids but they made ends meet, even if it meant small dinners and stocking up on cafeteria food at school to bring home. Bills were paid, water running, clothes on their back. They couldn’t complain. But it wasn’t great. There was still stress over paying bills and buying clothes as the children grew that carried over into their adult lives. It’s actually how Emmie started sewing, at first it was fixing holes and buttons and then sewing shirts and dresses for school.

 Emmie explained that her parents named all 8 kids after jewels. Crystal, Garnet, the twins Jasper and Jet, herself Emerald, Sterling, Ruby, and Amber. They hoped that the names would serve as some sort of prophecy and it seemed to work. The 6 old enough to had gone to college or got into a trade, the two youngest were doing good in school, and 2 of them were in happy marriages. 

 It really did work out well. To the relief of many who worried that the couple just birthed 8 children into the poverty cycle. 

 The couple caught a cab to Emmie’s house after deciding that she didn’t want to settle the ongoing argument over who will go to the airport to pick them up.

 “Oh my god…” Emmie said as the car pulled up to her home. Written on a banner hanging from her porch was “welcome home Emmie & Jungkook!” with some accompanying doodles she’s sure is the work of Amber. Though Jungkook found it endearing, Emmie found it embarrassing and her cheeks tinted a color similar to her hair.

 “That’s so nice!” Jungkook smiled as they got out of the cab, paying the driver and grabbing their bags. They hardly had time to stretch their legs before the whole family piled out of the house and straight into a group hug that Jungkook was not expecting to be pulled into. Questions started flying from everyone’s mouth, ‘how was the plane’ ‘did you bring anything’ ‘how’ve you been’ ‘are you excited’ it reminded Jungkook of all the times he was accosted at the airport.

 “One at a time, please.” Emmie huffed as her family started to release from the hug. “Can we get inside?” She asked with a laugh.

 “C’mon, c’mon. I got your room all ready for ya’ll!” Emmie’s mother clapped her hands together excitedly as various siblings started grabbing suitcases.

 Jungkook learned quickly that Emmie’s house was organized chaos. He wasn’t too surprised, the BTS dorms were similar in that way especially when they were younger and there were 3 less people there. 

 “Now, Aunt Betsy wants us over there a little early. Says she’s got some clothes she wants you to fix up and I tried to tell her you were on a vacation but you know how she is. Your father’s sister, truly.” Emmie’s mother tutted at the dinner table as food got passed around. 

 “It’s alright, momma.” She said truthfully. She never really took vacations anyway, she was always thinking about her job no matter how much Jungkook tried to get her to take a full break.

 “Now, Jungkook.” Her mother spoke and Jungkook jerked his head up from the mashed potatoes. “I was fully planning on showing you all Emmie’s cute little baby photos--”

 Emmie interjected with a gasp, “Momma!”

 “--I’ve got binders full of pictures of all my children, but Miss Amber here would just die if you saw her in ‘em too.”

 “Momma!” Amber screeched.

 “My god, you banshee!” Sterling, Emmie’s 21 year old brother, scolded. “You’ll make the guy lose his hearing and then how will he be able to sing, huh? Gonna sue you for damages or something, I can see the headlines now--”

 “The kid’s already a tomato, Sterling, cut it out.” The eldest, Crystal pointed at her youngest sister. Emmie was trying not to laugh and she could tell Jungkook was too. 

 “Ya know, Amber called every damn radio station she could find trying to win tickets to your show!” Ruby, only a couple years older than Amber, chimed in.

 “Really?” Jungkook’s eyebrows raised, he knew fans did a lot but he couldn’t imagine the time it took.

 “Yeah! She spent more time doing that than she did on her homework.” Ruby continued.

 Amber was quick to defend herself. “I wasn’t alone! You called like half of ‘em when you weren’t busy flirting with Jake from your--”

 “We are not talking about that!” Ruby dropped her fork in shock.

 “Whose Jake?!” All four brothers started.

 “Here we go.” Emmie groaned.

 “Now, look. I got one sister married, one dating, and now I gotta worry about another with some guy named Jake? I’m driving you to school from now on!” Garnet, the second eldest said.

 “Cut it out. You guys are gonna make Jungkook think we’re crazy.” Emmie’s father finally spoke up. “We should all just sit here and have a nice meal. See, Emmie’s not bickering back and forth. Being real mannered. C’mon y'all.”

 “Emmie’s only quiet cause she’s trying to impress her boyfriend.” Jet scoffed.

 “Hey, did Emmie ever tell you about the time when she was 8 and a girl in her class--”

 “Jasper!”

 “Oh this has to be good.” Jungkook motioned for Jasper to continue.

 After the evening had settled and Emmie and Jungkook had gotten ready for bed, Jungkook turned to her.

 “Your family is a lot.” He said.

 “Sorry.” She murmured with a sigh as she turned out the light.

 “No, no. I like it. It’s nice.” He spoke with a fond smile. “I just hope I’ll fit in.” He wrapped his arm around her. 

 “You already do. Get some sleep, I love you.” She kissed his lips softly.

 “Love you too.”

[lcofowler]

ashes to ashes

2014

The droning of Leo’s heart monitor is the only thing convincing himself – and anyone around him – that he actually is lying there, alive. It’d probably been two days since he’d moved out of the uncomfortable hospital bed willingly, even attempting to bite the nurse that’d tried to force him to go to the washroom. All that’d done is resulted in a threat of putting his catheter back in.

“Intimate. My jerkin’ arm still aches, wouldn’t mind some nice dick fondling -,”

“He’s joking. Please, excuse him. Leopold, if you don’t listen to the nurses, you’re not going to get better period -.”

He’d stopped listening by then.

Even though all he’d done the last two days was sleep, there was a constant, inexplicable exhaustion that settled so deeply into his bones he felt as if they’d shatter if he didn’t get to sleep every few hours. Curled in on himself awkwardly, he’d started counting the beeps from his heart monitor as a replacement for sheep, slowly drifting off when the slamming of his room door startled him more awake than he’d been since he got there.

“Why’re you still here? I thought you were going home today?”

Finn’s appearance is unexpected but not totally surprising. If anything it’s a bit depression – his cousin makes the time for him when his own brother’s can’t. Audrey’s in tow, face flushed like she’d just been running, and her expression is exasperated, but she waves at Leo all the same – like he’s not crumpled in on himself, already scrawnier and more baggy eyed than the last time she saw him. Like she wasn’t visiting him at the hospital.

“God, Finn, I don’t want your girlfriend to see me like this -?”

“Right here. I can hear you. And I don’t care, you’ve looked worse.”

Finn doesn’t acknowledge Leo’s question either way. Just raises a brow, waiting for Leo to answer his own.

“I don’t know when I’m going home. I burned a hole in my sinuses. And apparently, I had, like, three seizures before the ambulance even got me. I think they’re running extra tests, in case.”

Finn and Audrey flash each other a look at that, and Leo always hated it when they did that – secretly, of course. He hated the way they could look at each other and know exactly what they were thinking, but no one else could. Leo never did much enjoy feeling left out after all.

“Alright, fine – get up,” Finn insists, taking his phone out of his pocket at the same moment Audrey’s making her way to Leo’s bedside. She’s reaching for his hand before he’s even moved the bed into an upright position again, and Leo’s feeling a bit overwhelmed, “We’re dancing. So that your limbs don’t turn to jelly and your brain doesn’t eat itself from the inside out. It’ll be good for you. Get up.”

“What? Woah, stop,” he mumbled, barely managed to weakly tug his wrist out of Audrey’s grip, “No, I can’t. I can barely stand, it’s – I hurt, fuck off. I don’t want to.”

(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher by Jackie Wilson starts playing from Finn’s phone – which is a low blow. As if anyone could resist that song.

“I’m not asking you to run a marathon, dumbass. Just get up. Sway, if you have to.”

Leo has a weird thing about disappointing Finn. He doesn’t even try to protest this time around when Audrey’s grabbing him again, and once Finn’s set his phone down by the foot of the bed, he’s at Leo’s other side, supporting most of his weight.

“God – would’ve been helpful if I was the taller one here,” Finn huffs, but he’s grinning like Leo gave him the exact Christmas gift he wanted.

It’s awkward. The kind of awkward where within a few seconds, they’re all laughing hysterically to cover up how painful the situation actually is with humour. He’s clinging tightly onto Finn’s shoulder while Audrey’s still gripping his wrist, like that’s helpful at all, and he’s already worked up a bit of a sweat, and it’s great. The laughter’s still real – it’s the only time Leo’s smiled in the last few days.

“Tadpole, you’re a natural. Hips don’t lie! Lemme drive you home when you’re good, okay? I’ll come back tomorrow, anyway. See if your brain really has turned to mush.”

The offer to drive him home is mentioned out of sincerity but also as a warning. Three days later, Leo’s being driven home by Finn, but now, home has a different definition. Instead of Tallahassee humidity or Manhattan traffic, it’s the quiet and comfort of a Rochester home that constantly smells like flowers. It’s easily the happiest Leo’s ever been.

 2016

“I’m going to fucking kill him.”

It’s about the fifth time his uncle Steven’s said that in the span of five minutes and the only goodbye Leo gets before he’s leaving, slamming the door behind him. In search of Finn, probably.

He’d been missing for about two days now. It wasn’t uncommon by far, what was uncommon was the lack of an update to Leo that he was alive. What really ignited the fear was the call from Audrey’s parents asking if she’d been at the Fowler residence.

Leo’s not really sure what to do with himself, which makes the whole situation all that more alarming. The most he can do is awkwardly sit in the living room loveseat, Mitzie purring contently in his lap, waiting impatiently for the door to open and Finn to walk through. It’s too quiet with him gone – his aunt Marjorie’s manning Fowler’s Flowers in the meantime, in need of a major distraction, and Steven searches the streets restlessly.

A knock on the door has Leo launching himself out of the chair – apologizing to Mitzie under his breath when she cries in protest at the sudden movement. He doesn’t really put two and two together that it can’t be Finn, that he would’ve just walked in, more excited at the prospect his cousin could be home finally than anything else – he’d never been very logical anyway.

Initially, he’s stunned when he opens the door and two officers stand on the other side.

“Is this the Fowler residence?”

Leo doesn’t like movies very much – he can never pay attention for long enough and honestly, most of them are boring to him. Even TV never really grabs him, not enough to become properly invested in any show. And even then, he’s seen this scene. He knows what comes next.

“Is he dead?”

The officers look at each other like they weren’t expecting that, like Leo went off script and they weren’t expecting to improv. Which is annoying – it’s a simple yes or no question.

“Son, is this the Fowler residence?”

“Yes – yeah, but, uh. It’s Finn, isn’t it? Finnegan – his mom and dad are out – is he dead, or what?”

“Maybe we should talk about this inside – may we come in?” The taller officer sounds exasperated, while his shorter partner looks like they’re on the verge of tears.

“Is. He. Dead?”

There’s a pause, like they’re debating whether to answer or not – Leo gets it, he’s been called unpredictable enough to know that he’d be weary too of his reaction. Finally, after what feels like forever, the smaller officer says a shaky, “Yes.”

Leo’s the one to pause this time. His world doesn’t fall apart, which is kind of surprising – that’s what’s supposed to happen in moments like this. Instead, he nods, probably looks like someone that’s unsure and is just saying yes because they didn’t hear what the other said, but he heard loud and clear and there was no turning back from it.

“Yeah. Yeah, you better come in.”

He’s gone before his aunt and uncle get home, which was sort of planned. It’s selfish, but Leo doesn’t want to be there when they find out. He feels a pang of guilt when the police call after him once he’s wrenched the front door open, but it’s not enough to make him turn back.

Instead, he rides his bike all the way to the hospital. He’s sweating, more than a little gross by the time he gets there, but he doesn’t feel close to tired.

“Leo Fowler for Audrey Nguyen.”

Audrey looks like someone that’s been in a car crash. Her face is more bruise than anything else and she’s got a neck brace on. Her right arm’s in a cast, and Leo’s writing his signature on it when she starts to wake up.

“Tadpole,” her voice is so rough it’s almost inaudible.

It’s the first time Leo starts to reason with himself – or more or less beg. Pray this isn’t actually real and that it’s some pipe dream. Audrey’s already crying, clutching at her chest like each sob that wracks through her must hurt, badly. Leo’s not even sure what to do. He doesn’t want to cry but he doesn’t want to crack a joke. Instead, he takes her hand.

“What happened?” Most of it had been explained already, but it feels a bit like Leo will never know what happens until it’s explained to him twenty times.

“It was on purpose, I swear he did it on purpose. He tried to kill us – Finn tried to kill us. I tried to – I tried to stop him I’m – He was so high, he was so, so high – I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Leo, I’m sorry.”

His vision’s blurry now, stinging with the threat of tears that haven’t fallen quite yet. It still hasn’t hit him, really, and he still feels a bit numb to it’s entirety, but with Audrey gripping his hand like she was scared she’d never have human contact again and sobbing harder than he’s ever seen anyone cry, it’s a bit hard to avoid what’s happened.

Instead, he says, “Don’t cry – Just. I should go see… Marj and Steven they’re… they weren’t home. They don’t know – I should go see them I should… I have to go.”

There’s the implied I’ll visit but Leo can’t bring himself to say it. If he says it, he’ll have to – but he doesn’t, so he never does.

 2019

“There’s the little guy! Who’s the bestest boy in the entire world?”

Leo talks to Bear like it’s his own son that he hasn’t seen in months. Realistically, it’d only been just over a week, but he still flops to the floor before he’s even taken his shoes off to greet the pup once he’s walked through the front door.

“Did you miss me? Did you miss your daddy? Your daddy’s an actual daddy, did you know, Bear? DILF squad! Oh – Cas?” He doesn’t get an answer in return, feigning horror with a wide-eyed gasp of shock as he turns his attention back to Bear, “All alone?! Don’t worry, Zeke’s gonna be home soon. He’s grabbing more treats for you – doesn’t that sound nice? That sounds nice, huh?”

If left to his own devices, Leo could’ve sat on that floor for hours talking to Bear in a baby voice he’d never use if anyone else was in the room. The sound of his phone ringing, however, pulls him out of it – he’s still petting Bear’s head with one hand when he checks it, brows furrowing when he doesn’t recognize the number.

“Hello?”

“Jesus – Tadpole your voice is even deeper, I think. Did you hit a second round of puberty?”

Leo freezes up, immediately recognizing the voice, “Audrey?”

“We have a winner. Where the hell are you? No one’s at your place.”

“Oh, um,” for a moment, he considers lying – the last time they’d talked was at Finn’s funeral, Leo doesn’t know how much he wants to share with someone who’s technically considered a stranger now, “I’m crashing at my buddy Zeke’s place for a bit. Bougie place – you’d love it.”

“In between?”

A code name – for people they liked too much to just be friends with benefits and left at that.

“Yeah… yeah, guess so.”

“Still the same,” he’s sure it’s meant to be an insult, but her tone is completely fond, “What’re you doing right now? It’s – Tomorrow’s three years. We should… get drinks. I haven’t seen you since you turned legal, and –,”

“It’s what?”

A pause, “Three years tomorrow. Did you – did you lose track, or?”

Apparently, he did. They weren’t supposed to be at Coney Island as long as they were. He thought he had more time.

“I – I can’t, I’m – I don’t… feel like –,”

“Yeah, okay. I figured. I just – y’know, miss you. And I didn’t… I didn’t want to be alone tomorrow, I just – do you?”

No. “Yes.”

“… Right. Okay. Sorry to bother you, um –,”

“My birthday – it’s coming up soon.”

“Of course. I remember.”

“I think… I’m probably gonna have a party, or something. You should – wanna come? I want you to come, if you want to.”

“That’s – yeah, I don’t think so, Tadpole. Probably not a good idea, I’m… not gonna be in town by then.”

He doesn’t bother to clarify. He doesn’t really want a clarification, “Stupid, yeah. My bad.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I gotta go, my – my roommate’s back, he’s – groceries, lots of them. Lots of bags. I’m – he’s clumsy,” The excuse comes rushed, accompanied by a shaky voice and the realization that Leo’s about to, embarrassingly, cry. It was way too raw – he thought he had more time.

“C’mon, don’t go –,”

“Talk to you soon.”

He hangs up in a rush, sniffling grossly as he can feel the telltale signs of his nose starting to run. Which usually would be accompanied by a nose bleed. Leo cries rarely but it’s an entire event when it does happen.

“Stop it,” he whispers to himself – to Bear a bit, too, who seems incredibly confused by the sudden change in tone. He tries to flash the pup a look of reassurance, and that makes the whole thing worse – Leo’s crying in earnest now, “Shit – thought I had more time, Bear. I thought – tomorrow’s the 24th, I – I thought I had more time.”

He’s sad, which makes him angry, which makes him frustrated, which makes him get ugly. In an impulsive act to gain back some bodily control, he’s tossing his phone still in hand across the room – the screen shatters once it hits the fridge, and it’s satisfying for a few seconds before he’s blurting, “Oh, fuck, shit – what the fuck, why’d I – why’d I do that?!”

Bear’s whining once the tears pick up. Leo knew that animals could be empathetic, but this is ridiculous – he feels ridiculous. He can’t really remember the last time he cried, even before Finn was gone, but it didn’t feel so bad when he was around. When Finn was around, Leo used to crawl into his room and let his cousin read to him until he fell asleep.

“Do you like Lord of the Rings?” he’d asked.

“No, shit’s boring.”

“It’s not. It’s fun – it’s smart. You’re smart too, Leo. You’re allowed to admit it. You’re allowed to like smart things.”

There was no Finn, though, not anymore. Leo couldn’t go back home and crawl into his bed, listen to stories of Hobbits and Bagend, and be soothed the way only his cousin knew how to. Instead, he sits in the front hallway of a home that isn’t really his, with a dog that definitely isn’t his, with no one to crawl into bed with.

In the end, Leo really always just thought he’d have more time.