#i think theres something really interesting about. helping a system you hate and a system that has hurt you before because YOU'RE

[frootbyethefoot]

you know i would LOVE to learn more about calebs childhood bullies if hes 50-60 years old and hes STILL thinking about them and thinking about killing them and getting his revenge.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hi, may i request some headcanons for Toby, Ej and Ben with a S/O who is really clumsy and always has new bruises?

toby, ej, and ben x reader who is clumsy

my legs hurt i hate how they tense up when i get stressed out it hurts so much notes: reader is gn, ben is platonic as i do not feel comfortable writing romantic for him, heavy hcs for all of them naturally but esp ben cws: edit

toby

he has a little bit of a disconnect between pain and injuries- both for himself and other people. obviously for himself its because of his CIPA, and that leaks into how he perceives others. he knows it hurts for them but he doesnt fully understand to what degree

still, he does his best to sympathize with you when you get hurt- actually you guys likely come up with a system.. a scale to rank how painful it is.. not just for physical pain! i can easily see this being used as a general thing for you guys to rate an experience both lightheartedly and as a serious thing

gets you meds as well as an icepack for your bruises so youre not too sore- hopefully

keeps an eye on the coloring of your skin, headcanon that he keeps tabs of the look of how an injury looks to determine severity.. as well as generally having a curiosity

he doesnt outwardly judge you all that much for your clumsiness, he knows his tics have caused some accidents so hes not going to fault you for a lot of your accidents

eyeless jack

tries to find a reason for your clumsiness, or at least tries to clear it of "okay do you have something internally thats happening", and if you actually do he does what he need to accommodate you

makes sure you dont needlessly get put into a situation that can lead to you getting hurt, he doesnt babyproof his place or yours.. nor does he treat you like youre a kid, but he does make precautions

lightly scolds you for not being careful if youre careless and roll with it as you get hurt- he doesnt want you to get hurt even if its something small

knows some tricks to lessen bruises before they get too bad, as well as ways to relieve any pain and swelling

medical interest really coming in clutch!

he hears crashing sounds and he just preps himself for whats about to transpire

he loves you but he does try to help you manage your clumsiness

ben

he thinks its a little funny that youre constantly hurting yourself, as long as its not a major injury- he also thinks its a little... pathetic... its a little mean for him to think that but hey, hes a bit of an asshole so its to be expected

he cant do much most of the time on account of him not being physically there- stuck in your phone or computer or some other device. but he does try to verbally be there for you- there in spirit!

if hes connected to the internet and hes able he does try to find some solutions to either lessen your clumsiness or how to make your bruises fade faster

tries to see if theres a cause to your clumsiness but its mostly him bullshitting you

"it could be a tumor" "you little shit its not a tumor"/ref/hj

more of a "lets move on and forget about it" kind of person, which isnt terrible especially if you find yourself embarrassed by your clumsiness

[stevie-petey]

I know you just dropped a new chapter but I have a blurb if you wanna write it. Could we see others perception of bug. Like Mrs. Clicks class, bugs just chilling and doing her work while there are people so entranced by her and she doesn't even know it. Like Robin, Steve, Jonathan, Nancy, maybe Eddie 👀

ooooo i LOVE a good character study thank u for this request !!

enjoy <3

"your book report isnt bad, but..." you sigh, trying not to let your disbelief of how horrible the paper is show. "it could use some work."

jonathan nods at you solemnly. the librarys florescent light burns down upon his shame. "be honest, how fucked am i?"

"... pretty fucked."

the boy covers his face with his head and groans, causing the librarian to harshly shush him. its the middle of study hall, the entire section is overtaken by a crowd of kids either pretending to study or silently mourning their grades.

youre the only one actually doing any work, jonathan has long since given up on his stupid essay. english has never been his best subject, youve always basically written all his papers for him in exchange for math help. its been a good system.

until goddamn mrs. greer caught on and threatened suspension.

"its okay, maybe i could try and copy your writing style?" you suggest, but jonathan only responds by dropping his head onto the table. he doesnt even know what his writing style is. you rub his back in soothing circles, hopeless as well. "okay, yeah. i tried."

robin buckley sits a few seats away from you and jonathan. she watches you curiously, eyes narrowed at the hand on the boys back. she doesnt quite understand your relationship with jonathan. truthfully, she doesnt really pay much attention to the guy. she thinks hes cool, sure, maybe quiet, but youve always interested her more.

jonathan says something to you, which you laugh at, and again the librarian shushes the two of you. jonathan ducks his head down, embarrassed, but you only giggle with a flushed smile on your face. you try to hide the smile, though even robin knows that its impossible to hide a smile like yours.

youre wearing a soft purple sweater today, a flannel far too big for you covers your shoulders, and robin desperately wants to ask you where you got it from. shes always wanted to talk to you, but fear has stopped her from ever getting too close.

she isnt sure if the fear is from your beauty or from how genuine of a person you are. youre known as hawkins sweetheart, youre practically untouchable, and robin doesnt think youd like someone like her. shes awkward and annoying and speaks too fast and talks too loud.

eddie munson really hates the library, but he hates hawkins high even more. he'll be damned if he has to spend another fucking year here. so here he is, pretending that he knows what the fuck hes doing as he starts on one of his long overdue assignments. theres thirty he needs to hand in for one class alone. hes fucked.

it doesnt help that someone behind him keeps giggling.

he turns in his seat, ready to tell the girl to shut the fuck up, but then he sees that its you. he freezes, his anger suddenly gone.

youre the girl who loaned him a pencil last week. eddie had been so nervous for the exam that he had forgotten a goddamn pencil. he had panicked, he really couldnt afford to fail, but mrs. greer wouldnt let him get up to find a new one.

eddie had been close to tears, embarrassed and overwhelmed, when you had tapped his shoulder. "here,"

in your hand was a pencil, offering it to him. eddie took it from you, relief flooding through him, and he gave you a curt nod before frantically starting the exam with five minutes wasted.

eddie never actually thanked you for that. in fact, he had completely forgotten all about it until he saw you later that day talking to mrs. greer to arrange a time for you after school to retake the exam. apparently you also didnt have a pencil ready that day.

you had given him your only pencil, knowing youd fail the exam, just so eddie wouldnt.

so eddie turns back in his seat, grips your loaned pencil that he still has, and goes back to his assignments. your giggling carries over to him, and the sound is a pleasant one now. all things considered, youve got a cute laugh.

nancy wheeler stands in the romance section of the library, waiting anxiously for steve harrington. hes late, he promised her hed be there right after lunch, yet she stands alone.

she can hear your laughter from where she stands. she peers around the corner, sees you with jonathan, and she rolls her eyes fondly. youre always together, but she does find it cute. youre sweet together, in an old, married couple kind of way.

jonathans eyes drift from your laughing frame to nancy. she sucks in a breath, caught, and he raises an eyebrow at her. hes intrigued, wonders why shes staring at you and him, and nancys cheeks burn. she doesnt really talk to you and jonathan, she hasnt for a long time.

nancy turns away awkwardly and pretends that she hadnt seen jonathan at all.

steve sees you first when he enters the library, late and out of breath. well, he hears you first, and he smiles even before he can understand why. he knows you hang out in the library with jonathan, hes expected you to be there, but its still somehow a pleasant surprise.

youre head is thrown back, mid laugh, and steve shakes his head at you. youre always smiling, always kind, always lovely. he sees the paper jonathan has you reading for him and steve supposes that eventually youll be trading english essays in for marriage licenses.

its inevitable.

who wouldnt want to marry someone like you? steve knows he does, and he finds nancy waiting for him in the romance section, and he thinks hes finally met your match.

[ganondoodle]

fuck it, elden ring DLC rant (spoilers) (long post ... oh dear)

so, to start this- this is a very emotional reaction, so take everything with a ton of salT (i need to get this out of my system bc i need to go and do stuff today, i literally couldnt get much more than 3 hours of sleep bc my mind was racing) i only know two screenshots and what others have told me (thank you) so i might be missing more context and havent seen or read it myself

(more details and spoilers for the DLC below the read more thingy)

also, just to explain a bit, i dont usually get this upset about things i like, i like alot of things, but its RARE as fuck that i care, like actually care care about something, and that just kinda happens, i dont choose it or can decide to not care, i just do, and when something like this happens its like ... a sort of grief? i cant help but care about it but it messes with me emotionally, i have no control over it and cant change anything about it when it gets bad or done dirty, leavign me to just have to watch it be real even when i dont want to accept it-- i wouldnt say so much that i 'expect' somethign specific and cant handle when its not like that (common accusation about disliking totk)- and no i dont have somethign specific in mind, i just dont want it to be bad OR things that seem done and closed off suddendly out of nowhere be revealed to 'actually' have been like this, new stuff that either makes no sense or invalidates alot about what i valued about it, what i thought was the point

(i remember two .. my only two other intersts before- see what i mean RARE- that also went down simiarly like this; transformers (bay movies and mainly prime series, listen i didnt choose it either) with each movie it got more messy and stupid, primes second(?) season had an end i hated and the following movie was the final nail in the coffin- and one piece after that, which i slowly fell out of love with bc every chapter seemed to go more into a direction i didnt like, then the reveal that luffy is a god actually was my final ok i hate that moment)

i knew demise for a long time but wasnt obsessed about him at all, it took me learning about how hylia was depicted in a non canon (?) manga (which made me annoyed me bc i didnt like it and made a design for her to counter demises instead) and then reading his few lines of dialog about her again that it suddendly HIT me, like cupids arrow into my head-- i liked but wasnt that super interested into elden ring until radahn showed up, instantly his design made me go owo and then learning his (base game) lore it HIT me (i love sort of tragic side characters that might have been powerful or heroic at some point but now arent anymore- not saying he is that elden rings lore i messy and no ones good tm- and especially so if that character is widely hated for no good reason, dismissed or forgotten, has little lore etc)

i have things i like but dont care this much about, like okami or bloodborne, i like it alot, theres characters i really like (oki) but im not like, fixated on them?- and to have two at the same time, while not equally strong, i dont think i had before, and then have both be damaged or potentially lose it in a similar way within barely a year hurts so damn much--- anyway, getting into the actual rant now lol

so, to sum things up (that i know), in the elden ring DLC later on

miquella is actually a master manipulator and brainwasher (even to his sister???? which means alot of impactful things about his relationship to people is kinda invalidated or made meaningless, shitty)

he wanted to become a god by marrying radahn (his half? brother, same father) of all people that has never been mentioned before until now somehow?? ) you can argue it was hinted to but i find it completely out of left field

miquella sent malenia after radahn to kill him so he could be put into the realm of shadow so miquella could marry him (there were better candidates for that??)- its unclear (to me) if radahn ever actually accepted when sound of mind or even knew about it at all, but failed and he was isntead inflicted with rot to slowly waste away but not die (like he is in base game)

which also means that, what i found really impactful in base game, the festival of radahn, that i thought was a tragic sort of last wish/effort for of radahn to grant him an honorable death as a respected general after being made into mindless people eating zombie, organized by his soldiers/friends- might have been just yet another attempt to kill him and get him over there to miquella (and even if not, it still makes it way less impactful and now i feel like letting him continue to roam as a zombie is more of a favor than killing him bc hes just gonna a puppet again! which turns the whole tradgedy of the stuff in base game on its head imo)

you need to kill him to get into the DLC (and i was even sus of that but shrugged it off when i heard it ..) bc that way miquella could take whatever was left of his soul and stitch it into mohgs corpse?? (which is why hes so small in that DLC fight) bc his body was rotten by that point, which also allowed miquella to control radahn and make him agree, force him to do whatever miq wanted (which ALSO might mean mohg 'kidnapping' miquella wasnt that actually but mohg too was manipulated so oud kill him and make his remains usable)

radahn in DLC is a voiceless meat puppet essentially ... like a mindless rotting zombie eating friends and fow alike wasnt enough- also means that we never ACTUALLY GET OT KNOW RADAHN HIMSELF bc hes eithe a zombie or a literal puppet (if you are gonna do him dirty at least let us meet actual real him *cries*)

his fight is super hard apparently (though i have been hearing people complain about the entire DLC being too hard, while the -casual player- streamer i watched is beating main bosses so fast they dont even get to start their second phase) when his fight in base game, and him by extentsion, was also hated bc of that ALREADY, which means more people are gonna hate his guts (he doesnt deserve that!!) AND most people probably wont get or care that its not actually HIM him so its like a repeat boss that everyone hates

it feels weirldy forced in for it to be radahn (like miquella was already said to be one of the strongest gods out there .. why hed want radahn so badly when his goal seemed to be rather .. combat less?? if you get what i mean, and radahn also rejected him??? and the tarnished is right there too????) bc theres plenty others it would have worked with that are barely used- it feels like someone jsut wanting him to be tha main guy not matter what (when he worked so much better as a side character!!!!)

a tragic but well rounded off side character (imo) was made into the main guy this is all about actually tm (i generally dont like main guys and this jsut feels so .... it just hurts, it didnt feel foreshadowed at all, and its not even truly HIM that is reveal to be a creepy asshat but hes just manipulated and controlled with the whole time, be it by rot or miquella)

and for miquella its like, no theres no even mildly good people there, hes brainwashed and manipulated everyone actually tm, a giant plan all to force his half brother into marrying him by making him into a corpse puppet bc he rejected miquella- inlcuding potentially manipulating his own twin sister, which goes agaisnt what you learn of what hes done for her in the base game i think?? (not that much into that part but yeah ... it feels unfair to her too)

it also kinda just leaves other lore from the base game in the dust? like the whole haligtree plan, how miquella cared for the rejected (i guess he didnt then??? and it was just more manipulation tm??) that castle with the eclipse stuff

(is the gloom eyes queen, marika, and or st trina even .. important at all to any of this??)

ok from reading tweets from people talkign about it, miquella says radahn agreed apparently but whether thats true remains uncertain and given the circumstances i do not think radahn did- others said that it kinda sounds he agreed to something that he didnt think would involve him marrying miquella

everything feels like its in shambles for every fan of every involved chaarcter

yes i know you can argue that it was all planned from the start and meant to be a twist and everything and that people having a different idea of characters isnt the fault of the creators .... only to some degree bc why then build up make so much lore and story about stuff that turns out to be like saying 'actually it was all a lie' like its not valid to feel betrayed then, you can plan things out all you want but that doesnt mean it cant be bad oder underwhelming

(i wished to be able to meet or know more about radahn but like in a non rot way or like past flashback whatever kind of way and then not like this anyway, like i was interested into his relationship with jerren and just .. more about him i suppose the monkey paw has curled hasnt it -or however you say that-)

and there i was like two days ago going "omg radahn mention!!!" when that one .. feyja? NPC says she fought alongside him at some point ............................................................

leonard isnt there in the DLC to my knowledge, you know it cant be truly radahn if his horse isnt there (the sole reason he learned gravitiy magic for and it stayed with him even after the rot!!! i know people have started to hate it bc people love that but i love that, it made him so endearing to me, like a character i already found cool omg has a confirmed softer spot??? in MY fromsoftware title??)

sorry for the long post of rambling, i am a mess, barely slept 3 hours, yes i am weird to care, autisms or whatever .. i need to go somewhere in an hour and havent prepared as all bc i needed my thoughts out of my head- might have forgotten stuff, idk if i will add it later or just kinda .. stew in it for a while

(and yes a big point why i feel so strongly is both bc its just gonna make more people hate him even more AND feels so invalidating of alot of other stuff- pulls other characters down with it- the entire time i was watching the streams i and trailers i thought i was like, its onw thing, with miquellas littel adventure and more background info on marika mostly on its own from the base game BUT NO I GUESS)

(read all this in the sense of an utteraly disoriented confused and drunken seagull yelling around pls i am not in serious mental distress ..)

[daily-singularity]

i beg of you… hux/gabriel headcanons? i think about them an unhealthy amount 😭

This'll be a mess but heres some of my headcanons!

My fav types of ship though are ones that aren't really like your standard kissing n lovey dovey stuff (Classic aro move) and I def project that onto my Gabehux stuff.

Gabriel had never really been interested in other people in a romantic sense. He later chalked it up to being something Huxlee conditioned into him- crews were easier to manage when there wasn't any relationship drama after all.

Gabriel doesn't even realize his fascination with Hux was anything abnormal until he's talking with the other survivors and they give him strange looks while hes talking in what he believes is a normal n average fascination with a piece of machinery. (Sable just nods along though this is normal 2 her)

Hux is still literally learning what his emotions are and while he is learning at an exceptional rate, he is starting from ground zero in learning and defining his emotions. He doesn't have people to help him either because Hux HATED humans- no shit he avoids the fuck out of the other killers. this man has no friends- no support system.

Anyways The feelings realization for them is less of an "Oh... oh." fanfic moment, and more of them helping eachother in a more utilitarian sense- a mutual fascination, until they have something that just works for them.

Its one of those relationships where someone would cheekily go "ooooh are you daaaating?" and Gabriel would just like, shrug. Because they just have a dynamic that works for them.

Hux really enjoys physical touch, its not something he's ever really experienced before, and especially not in a gentle or caring way. He will shamelessly lean into Gabriel's touch, slumping against him.

Some people are convinced they're an item, while others vehemently deny it- say theres no fucking way. Gabriel never gives a straight answer. (Vittorio n Sable 100% know theres smth going on. Vito bc hes been there with Tarhos- Sable bc shes Sable)

[polyhexian]

Ive been wanting to know what you think about the possibility of alajasrius VERY FAR INTO THE FUTURE most likely if ever even possible, it took the aladarius ship 4 YEARS to be just hinted at becoming canon. Jasper is a very complicated character, he and Darius love eachother a lot but he also just HATES him he cant not, he ignored his baby for his whole life and only regretted it later on and after everything had gone down. All of his emotions are extremes. Alador and Darius have always just had a Thing, I could see Alador and Darius slowly getting closer and Als just wondering what the situationship with that jasper guy and darius is?? Their entire relationships just forever screwed and it just SUCKS for them! Everyones trying their very best (for Hunter of course)

Jasper needs a support system so badly, too, the most recent chapter was such a perfect example of that

god you know before i got to post canon eventually i was like "this is the one where im finally pulling the trigger on alajasrius" but ive now made darius and jasper so unbelievably obsessed with each other i forgot to even mention alador existing.

yeah i need to actually WRITE it but i have notes on it. luz took one look at hunter and said "my brother now" and i wanted to show thats a trait she picked up from her mother lol, camila takes one look at this fucking walking disaster and shes like "my brother now" or, well. friend, you know. its for the bit. but shes takes a distinct interest in "get out of your stupid cave and come to wine and soap opera night" vibes. i mean, hes her sons dad, and like, i think its hard for a parent not to sympathize on some level with him as a parent so fucking desperate to keep his baby safe. and like shes also been in a position where she lost luz, and she lost her because she failed to provide her a life she could live in. and she could have died because of it. and now luz is living with someone else, a new parent she found, because thats where shes happiest and healthiest and because she loves her she has to let her go live that life shes actually happy living. and SHE is parenting a kid now whose parent is in a similar position. he cant provide him a life where hes safe and happy so hes found a new parent. in another dimension, even. and again like. luz gets her overwhelming empathy from her mom. theres this guy here and hes suffering and sad and he has absolutely no one. she moved out here with her son and her husband and her husband died and she didnt know anyone in town and. she was just alone. she didnt have a support structure or friends or help. just a kid she grew farther and farther apart from. nobody was there for her then and shes damn well not going to watch someone go through something similar when shes right there and can do something about it.

also she doesnt really like darius either because of how he treated hunter in the past and shes not particularly a fan of the fact hunter lives there sometimes and she kinda thinks he should fuck off so they can complain about him together

[dandyshucks]

realizing i wanted to ask - how did u first fall in love w/ guzma (irl) ? :o (@dmclr)

ougghh (/happy) Clara you always ask such good questions omg 🫶

umm... okay so. i should give a general "abuse CW" label i guess fjfkdl but I'll keep it vague and to a minimum of mention! also putting it below the cut because I RAMBLED SO MUCH, SORRY IN ADVANCE

tumblr kind of went crazy for the guy when the anime finally introduced him in 2019 (it took SO long to get to him, over 100 episodes in the su/mo arc 😭) and at first i didnt think much of him rly, but then somehow eventually (a few months later) i found out through osmosis that he's got trauma going on and my ears kind of perked up a bit LOL

(underwater just to set it apart from the rest of the post so it doesnt blend in and get confusing fndkdl) screenshot of the post i rbed where i first mentioned liking him fdsjkl

around the same time, i was having some realizations about my own experiences with childhood and family etc, and there was some other stuff going on in my life (also. the plague started so uh. that too.) that was just kind of culminating in like. A Lot of stress and fear and stuff. so seeing this character who has experienced somewhat similar things was ... comforting in a way? shared experience or something, idk. plus I've always been a sucker for misfit archetype characters, especially if they make a little family out of other misfits :')

another big part of the intrigue (because my crushes always start with a sort of 👀 phase fdsjkl, I have to think somebody is interesting in some way and want to find out More about them, and then feelings develop from there) for me was just the fact that he was Angry. like... the way I've personally learned to deal w abuse has been to always be meek and fawn. so seeing someone who went in the opposite direction, to become angry and strong and defiant instead, was SO fascinating to me and I was very curious to learn more about him.

so I looked into him more, loved what i found, related to him a bit, accidentally by some random occurrence stumbled upon some bf audios of him somehow??, wished he were real so we could hang out, thought about how I'd act around him and started to feel a little flustered about it ... it's all downhill from there once u reach that point smh 😔😔 (/silly)

for a long time i didn't really fully step into s.elfship territory w him - i dabbled a little but he wasnt The Focus™ in my brain yet. also we (as a system) have had a host change since then, so there was a previous juno that was not Me (even though we kept the same main name between us two parts), and they didn't like the guy as much as Current Me does djfkdl - theres also some ... relatively significant personality differences between the two versions of Juno, so I think Juno2.0 (me) meshes with him a lot better now than Juno1.0 did in 2020/2021

and then last year, i found and joined the s.elfship community and um. I absolutely did not mean for him to become The Main Guy and never would've guessed he would be, but... well,, we dont always plan things i suppose, feelings just happen 😭

anyways. it maybe seems kind of messed up but his ~tragic backstory~ is what drew me in initially bc it helped me feel less alone and scared when i was Going Through some pretty major shit lol. and then after that, i just kind of took the character base that pkmn had in place and ran with it to build on it and sort of make my own version of him that I could be friends with and eventually fell in love with ^^;;

TL;DR it was a mix of timing, similar history of abuse, intrigue bc of our opposite reactions to the abuse, and um... the way he is like,, strong and builds a safe place for other young ppl who feel unsafe or not accepted in general society fdsjkl

i get embarrassed talking abt it bc ppl seem to really hate it when abuse victims are weak in any way and need help, but ... i do really like that he is strong in some ways and would be able to give me a sort of safe place to let my guard down and receive help and care (as shown by the way he provides a safe place for the grunts, all the misfits and outcasts of Alola) ^^;;;; honestly kind of a Big part of it for me (and for pretty much all my s.elfship dynamics) is that he is able to protect me and care for me, because I have not like. experienced that ever. at least not properly. when your parents are the ones being abusive, you not only do not experience protection and care but you're also being actively hurt in some way by the people who are supposed to keep you safe. so to be freely given care and safety is kind of crazyyyy to me LOL, that is something i like a lot about him :')

OKAY RAMBLE OVER. i really tried to keep this as short as i could but,, brevity is not a strength of mine (esp when it comes to him) LOL. THANK YOU for the question !!! its fun to look back at how it all happened tbh :]

[vyladromeave]

all of them >:)

jkjk

17 and 27?

17. any headcanons you're attached to?

BOY DO I HAVE SOME HEADCANONS IM ATTACHED TO. First off this post is required reading. its over a year old and its all stuff i stand by pretty strongly in regards to vylad. lets just start there.

ok hmmmmmmm see now this is hard for me because you could ask me about any specific like character or location or concept within mcd and i could give you headcanons for them immediately i have too many options. here's what I'm going to do I'm going to open the aphmau wiki and randomize a page on the mcd characters section and whatever I land on is what I'm going to talk about here i go.

I GOT KENMUR OK ITS KENMUR TIME. Well first off he's bi4bi and t4t with emmalyn so jot that down. Emmalyn is more on the history and literature side of things, but Kenmur is much more on the science side, he likes reverse-engineering things and he likes understanding how things work. He doesn't usually get as visibly excited over findings as Emmalyn does, but they are still very much equal in nerdiness.

Despite him going to the Irene Dimension, we don't get a lot of his thoughts about the weird stuff that happens to/around him in canon. I think he'd be very interested in Irene's Dimension, not necessarily because it's Irene's, but because it's a weird weird place with weird rules about how you enter and leave and how time flows while you're there and that's fascinating to him. He would've loved talking about the process of Zoey's portal activation with her if she wasn't so cagey about it.

I'm not big on the whole "Sasha was his fiancee thing" but I do like the idea of them being friends :) And I ESPECIALLY like the idea of him trying to figure out how to cope with the fact that a lot of the people he knew and grew up with turned into Shadowknights. Sasha, Laurance, even Hayden's guard, these were people he knew who all just died around him, some of which becoming much worse people for it. Shadowknights are so poorly understood that nobody (not even Shadowknights!) seems to really understand how it works or why it happens, and that frustrates him deeply. I think he'd be very interested in studying Shadowknights, but also feels very weird about asking Laurance to essentially be his lab rat. So he just quietly makes notes whenever he notices something weird and moves on. World's First Shadowknight Scholar!

27. what's something really interesting that you wished canon decided to explore more? alternatively, what's something interesting that you wished the fandom acknowledged more?

this question is fun because its actually two questions in one which means i get to spend more time talking heehee. there's pleeeenty of stuff in canon, not to go Kenmur-mode but we still barely have anything on how Shadowknights actually work aside from "you died oh noooo now you have to kill someone." This is not helped by how much conflicting information we get.

We ALSO also don't get a lot on how the magicks system works??? Oh everyone has magicks but not really but also kinda but you have to find it and some abilities are passive (Kiki can talk to animals all the time) but also most are active (KC animates dolls, gets tired when she uses it too much, its a big ordeal she has to work up to) and also some are so well-documented that there are entire categories for them (WHAT THE HELL IS BARRIER MAGICKS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THATS JUST A WELL-KNOWN THING. EVERYONE ELSE HAS UNIQUE ABILITIES AND THEN THERES JUST "BARRIER MAGICKS" WHAT DOES THIS MEAN) and also maybe magicks are passed on by blood but also maybe not and also theres WITCHES now fuck you. And they hate magicks users for noooo reason despite "magick" being incredibly poorly defined at best. What is a curse? How do potions work??? Cursed Objects???? Cursed AMULETS????? WHY????????????? At least they tried to explain things about Shadowknights, when it came to magicks they just fucking gave up. I know its like this because they just used magicks as the macguffin of the week and had no plans on actually developing how it works, but i would literally kill to see plans on how they intended for this to work.

Interesting things Fandom should acknowledge is also fun. There are many. There are so many. I think the politics side of mcd is VERY interesting and very rarely looked at by fans, which is shocking to me considering how central it is to mcd's plot. Because despite the title of "Lord" there IS no active monarchy in Ru'aun, and that's BECAUSE of Irene (which was incredibly based of her), which changes the definition of Lord entirely. ITS REALLY NEAT!! O'khasis has a council!! Who the fucks on it? I don't know!!! But they have a council!!! Isn't that exciting?? This is not a joke I mean this so genuinely. Do you ever wonder if maybe the High Priest is on that council and thats why Zane got the job. Do you ever wonder if there's a reason someone so young and literally THE SON OF THE LORD got put into a position so early? Do you think having that extra vote on Garte's side helped things crumble at a quicker rate than it had been previously?? I do. I wonder these things. And you should too. please.

And SPEAKING of Irene being incredibly based, she did in fact do some things that are incredibly based!!! I know most people like to write her as a Secretly Malevolent God™, which like fair whatever I like to give her some evils too, but I really wish people would take more of a look at what was established about her in S1. There is a reason she is worshipped so widely by the people of Ru'aun and it's because she Literally Is a hero of the people. I think people are generally blinded by how she was portrayed in MCD S3 and in Mystreet that they forget that she was a person for a very long time before she lost it. Go back and look at some of the earlier Irene lore!!! I promise its much more complex and fun than "oooo your goddess is secretly evil and was never good and there is no hope or joy in the world ooooo."

(ask prompts from here!)

[jupitercl0uds]

hi! i'm ash

they/them/xe/xem • panromantic • asexual • non binary • autistic (with suspicions of having adhd) • english • atheist quaker • a tad bit silly

been on the tumbler since 2021 so i know my way around here but i dont get every little reference (i get most and for the ones i dont i just nod and smile along). i am still a teenager so some Classic Posts are older than me and most are from when i was in primary school.

i dont really have a sophisticated tagging system, but if it helps, spouting to the void is my text post tag. i dont even strictly use it for text posts tbf

blogs i run:

this one (obviously)

@blues-amazing-blog - oc blog (currently on hiatus)

@wswe-autism-fic - fanfic blog (for waluigi says 'wa' everyday until dekuyama is popular). i also treat this as an alt account for fandom stuff sometimes

@knuckles-with-a-keyboard - silly little blog where i pretend to be boom!knuckles (i really really love this blog its so fun)

@jupitercl0uds-art - my art blog (shock horror)

@nonbinary-sticks-the-badger - my sonic blog

external links (whoops forgot to add this)

maybe one day ill set up a linktree idk

ao3

letterboxd

twitter (i only use this for posting from my switch now)

spotify profile

email me - jupitercl0uds.burner@gmail.com

dm me on discord: jupitercl0uds

i think thats it

click this link for more external links including some of the above ones but specifically how to contact me if i cant use tumblr

interests:

omg i love so many things its not even funny. a few important ones are waluigi (special interest), sonic the hedgehog (special interest AND hyperfixation (omg please kill me)), art (like, as a general thing, but particularly visual) and you WILL find me randomly posting oh-so-passionately about something ive never even mentioned before.

i do animation and illustration but that's over on my art blog. also all my animations are WIPs. you probably won't find anything other than a few weird lip syncs from when i was like 11 (i got into animation because of gacha life and animation memes). most of my art is sonic atm lol.

i also read and write fanfic! my wattpad and ao3 is jupitercl0uds :D

wattpad is mostly old stuff, crack and occasional reposts of my ao3 stuff. ao3 is mostly whatever is on my mind at the moment and WSWE.

misc

occasionally i get all heated up about actually important stuff. that's usually sandwiched inbetween my regular goofy goober behaviour. for the basic gist of it: very left wing, the tories are cunts, vote green, free palestine. you also need to understand the weight of that sentence because i hate swearing.

i have other socials too but i dont really use them that much. got bored of twitter and i forget about all my other accounts. only ones i use now are whatsapp (lmao), tumblr and i guess ao3 and wattpad. theres no real point in linking something i havent used in months

anyway, have a nice day and please go to bed on time!

faves (non-exhaustive)

AUTISM BOY!!!! ANXIETY GUY!!!! MILES 'TAILS' PROWER!!!! he's been my favourite sonic character since i was little!!!! except for that brief period where it was amy because i found out tails was a boy and i, as a 7-year-old girl who had just learned about misoginy, decided amy was better because she was a girl. and that briefer period where it was cream because she had confetti in sonic dash.

my favourite iterations of him are scu tails, classic tails and sonic boom tails!!! i h/c him as autistic, having anxiety, low self-esteem but also being really cheerful and nonchalant about a lot of stuff. i enjoy trans tails of all kinds, but i believe in cis gnc tails.

NON-BINARY ICON!!!! TOP SURGERY GUY!!!! WALUIGI!!!! call me thomas jefferson cause i have an entire binder on this guy. waluigi is THE blorbo from my spin-off-party-shows. i got into him because 'hahahaha! it is the funny garlic man's funny rose partner!' and that became 'they could marry me and i'd say yes on the basis that we'd get to see each other everyday, even if i only love him as a friend.

im very passionately hateful about 'hot' waluigi. shut up. waluigi is perfect. i hope he can be canon one day <3 i h/c him as autistic, transmasc non binary and really into gothic lolita. i interpret their relationship with wario as romantic partners and waluigi being super super poor. also, wlw mlm solidarity with rosalina!!!!!

anti-faves

dr starline i love a bisexual icon as much as the next person but starline is not it. i want him to Suffer. which is why i then go on to make loads of fanart of him where he's crying over something. in the one shown above, i have just kicked him in the balls (full image). i also would love to be a VA for him because that'd really piss him off. good style tho. you go girl.

manjimutt (sorry but i only have 1 image of him)

hello to the other living yokai watch fan out there. i hate manjimutt. when i was younger i felt sorry for him, cause i was like 'oh, poor guy, always going to jail!!!' no. die. i do not like him. i hate manjimutt. i do like saying his name tho. MAnji-mutt! i think i hate him more than starline, because at least starline has redeeming qualities. the only redeeming qualities manjimutt has is pity because hes not actually committing crimes. thats it. hes not a nice person. hes just a guy. hit him with a wooden plank (har har).

that poor poor poodle though

posts i like

idk posts on my own blog i like a lot. idk if thisll be A Thing because im literally only doing tthis because of the first post on the list

recognising a url and the chaos that followed

stuff about my lgbtq+ identity idk

THIS IS HOW MUCH I KNOW ABOUT SONIC OK!!!!!

can you call me that slur?

[twsthc]

oooo if you ever wanna talk abt caters system my dms are always open!!! :D also i wish you luck on your journey, ik how confusing it is in the beggining (i have did) ,,,, im sure youll figure it out, slowly! and i know some stuff abt it so if you want to learn lmk :]

i also have a hc of ortho osdd-1a or 1b :3c im not so sure on the specifics but ye

now to the rambling!!!

for floyd i go off some HCs i have for her, like him having the adhd + autism + bpd combo, which makes him a very unstable fella. i also HC that the coral sea was Rough, principally where he comes from, so the circumstances werent at her favour and Boom, did system

some of his alters are sea-life based, but brainmade, with a ton of diff species! the others are based off songs she likes & characters she sees herself in/relates to! sometimes the characters resemble jade, too. theres only a few trauma holders, most are protectors or soothers, and some persecutors!

theyre like. that weird, big family down the street. they all like each other a lot but they looove to bicker and brawl and all of that. ALSO all of them Love jade too! they see him the same way they see floyd :D shes included in their weird family, floyd says shes an honorary member of his system!!

iii think his inner world would be like. a beach house! close to the sea and such, cause hes a mermaid but he also likes having legs. so beach house it is! its veey big and lively! i also think hed learn it after he comes to land, maybe in the middle of his freshman year, but he wasnt very affected by it. hes also very open about it he does not give two shits lol

for riddle... its canon that her childhood was shitty, ever since she was old enough to talk & walk, so its no wonder hes a system too lol. i hc her as autistic + bpd and that heavily influenciated the whole splitting too

she has some brainmades, mostly based on flowers & animals (ladybug & rabbit), But i also HC that she has some alters from an old novel she red while small ! one he loved soo much and his brain split the guys. i even have their roles (soother, protector, gatekeeper, and some others) but anyways! most of her alters are either from books or brainmade, and theres a shitton of trauma holders. she has like only 1 or 2 guys from songs cater showed her and Thats It. no more song guys lol

most of them are either very smart and prideful and all of that, or theyre sillay. very funny fellas, love having fun, but still smart as hell !

after her overblot he like. split three or five more in a week 😭😭 it sucked ass and he had an awful headache for days. + he was only made aware of her system After the overblot, during the recuperation week, bc the other alters went to check on her, and it was. Something. she told cater & trey right away and they helped her navigate it all, then she told adeuce duo too and some other few close friends!

i hc that her inner world is a big ass red white pink and black castke, in the middle of a very dense florest, with a maze and all. the fauna & flora are kinda diverse and all ! very pretty :]]

also i am. a big fan of florid..... and i think theyd start dating someday. and when they do. they turn into partner systems (if u dont know what it is lmk) and lots of other alters from their systems start dating too lol. they take turns to stay w their s/o.... theyre all so annoying and cute

(i have some names for their systems too.... rosewell for riddle's and vortice for floyd's... yay)

and PLLSS tell me abt kalim osdd . if u want. i love him so much hes my special gal !!! im interested in the HC :D it makes sense. in mah head

anyways hope the rambling entertained you!!! the voices in my head told me my HCs and to me these voices are right. theyre very real

⚠️ mention of kidnapping

OKGGMGMNE i love this. all of my alters hate me #cantrelate floyd. i will be n ur dms soon...

for cater i have an entire google slide of alters that's unfinished but ill send that to you later :3

i don't really have much to add.. very cute very real.. 5 stars would dine again..

UHH ALSO KALIM OSDD3 i think when shes distressed she disassociates for a few hours and after jamils OB she was out for a week; her brains response to the kidnappings and other traumatic shit she was put thru. i don't hc her to have alters tho! one of my RAMCOA friends hcs her to have HC-DID tho!

i also think the human brain is super interesting.. i was wondering how traumatic events would effect merpeople/beastmen differently so it's interesting to see someone hc floyd as someone affected by his upbringing. i think there's a thin line of difference between what's considered normal/traumatic for humans and non humans (for example, jade being implied to eat his and floyds siblings is considered normal, but would the violence down there be?)

[quietlywatchingwritingreading]

I saw @zeddertop-bugstersterster 's post about Larry and Greeta. It got me thinking, and I wanted to do a bit of my own analysis on the characters and their relationship. I wanted to link their post just because it inspired me to try my own analysis of sorts.

I'll post the rest of my thoughts under a readmore, because the post is very long.

Now to me, I think that Larry holds a certain sadness to him. In his very first battle against you, he talks about having to teach you that real life isn’t just being true to yourself. His star pokemon’s main attack becomes stronger when they’re suffering. 

Almost implying that Larry believes that there is a value/strength to sadness and pain. 

That he sees his current position in life as a mostly negative thing, but he himself has no desires to try and aim for anything better. Possibly even attempting to cope with this, by convincing himself that theres a strength to his sorrow. or that theres a value in continuing along the current path.

I imagine Champion Greeta is not a huge fan of this sort of mindset. Its the sort of defeatism that is generally very bad when it comes to education.

After all, without a desire to strive to be better, to do better, to find your own treasures to value and chase? Then why would you want to learn? What would you get out of school? Would you intentionally misread or stretch lessons in order to support your world views, rather then trying to challenge your world views?

We don’t see much of Greeta. But I feel that she doesn’t like that sort of mindset. That she doesn’t want that sort of belief system to spread around, and that she’s tries to counter that sort of defeatism whenever possible. I’m not 100% sure, but I believe that she’s done similar things in the past. For example, having Grusha join the elite 4, after his career derailed do to some sort of accident. 

I find it interesting that she not only forced Larry to be on the elite 4, she suggested Larry chose a different type in the Elite 4. It’s only in the remach that Larry himself realizes that she was trying to find some way to encourage him. That she wants him to fly to the skies. To find something he’s willing to both fight for, and drive him forward.

Something more then just trying to summon all his strength though suffering.

I believe that she was hoping that a change in perspective, a change in his usual patterns, might help him find that certain spark in life. Though the protagonist, and their strength, seams to be making more of a positive impact. 

[djuvlipen]

wait actually, same anon from earlier, i have another question please, hope this isnt a stupid one. how do you/what other opinions have you heard abt the incentives taken to educate roma kids? im particularly interested in this bc in romania both among us and the roma part of the issue w trafficking is that girls are uneducated and lack opportunities, and generally im all for education being done in small rural communities, and in the future id like to spend my time in communities trying to do anything at all to help w this mess. but. at the same time ive always felt theres something - i hate this word but oh well - problamatic about it? obviously roma kids deserve equal access to education, and i know specifically for roma girls this is often harder because at times they are expected to marry young - which happens w us too at times. but at the same time, there are many roma in romania who dont want to send their kids to school, even when the opportunity is presented and insentives are taken, and from what i get one of the reasons is that there are those who see it as an attempt at forced assimilation....is it systemic opression to use the state to get these kids to school? at times too i have gotten the sense that the education system is in a way trying to make the kids less roma, if that makes sense, and that i rly dont agree w or think its gonna help much

Hi anon! This is a really tough question

You identified the different issues at play here. On the one hand, it is true that education is very important as it leads to employment opportunities and as it lowers the rates of early child marriage, sex trafficking and prostitution, and sexism overall.

On the other hand, European countries (not just Romania) have all used their institutions (be it the healthcare system or the education system, for example) to persecute Roma, take Romani children and forcibly assimilate them into the white dominant culture by separating them from their families. That was the policy in my country in the 18th century and during WWII, for example. That's why many, many Roma distrust any State officials, including medical professionals and teachers. This relationship is even more complicated by the discrimination you can get at school for being Romani (bullying from classmates, discrimination from teachers, up to outright segregation in specific Romani classes).

And still today, many national or European-wide programs or organizations are still embedded in this rhetoric. I'd advise you to look up Angéla Koczé's book Gender, Ethnicity and Class (I have a link to it in my pinned post, it's available for free online), she's a Hungarian Romani academic who talked a lot about the colonial dimension of these programs. Here, "colonial" is defined as the exercise of a political and economic power by more powerful groups over weaker ones. You get a lot of pro-Romani orgs, like the Open Society Fundation, a very famous one that played a key role during the Decade of Roma Inclusion, that will back programs in support of Romani rights, but will do so in a paternalistic manner, using the rhetoric of "civilizing the Roma". These organizations are led by white people, with Roma rarely being in commands, and their Romani employees regularly experience racism from them. Grassroots Romani programs get sidelined, they often don't get invited to programs led by these big groups, which leads Koczé to qualify it as a silencing technique.

If many Roma don't want to send their kids to school, it's because the trust we put in the education system is very eroded, has been eroded by a history of persecution, and is still very flimsy nowadays. This, as well as misogyny, is then justified by "culture" ("we take our daughter out of school to get her married"), which is a good excuse to naturalize sexism, but also, to prevent us from being fully aware of the history of anti-Romani racism

Because it's not true that Roma don't want their kids to receive an education. I don't live in Romania but I work with an association that helps Romanian Romani immigrant children with school, their homework, etc. Romani parents are either enthusiastic, or are interested in the project but can't rely on it because they have other priorities. Once, a 6yo Romanian Romani girl I was helping didn't come because she had to help her parents earning money. This Romani family eventually dropped off the project because they were evicted from their home so they moved to another city to find a new place to live.

tl;dr, no I don't think it's systemic discrimination to use the State to get Romani kids to school. However the way it's being done right now is most often than not systemic discrimination, because Romani kids are often subjected to bullying at school, they are sometimes put in segregated classes, and lack of education is a reason that was/is still used to take Romani children away from their parents. It could be done differently, in a non oppressive way, but European countries all have a long history of anti-Romani racism that they are not addressing, and using the State to force Romani kids to school will not help build a relationship of trust between Roma and education professionals. Moreover, as long as European States don't fix their economic system, that has been marginalizing and impoverishing Roma for so long, no progress will be made, as poverty prevents children from receiving good quality education

Hope this helps!

[didwho]

Hello! You mentioned looking for more info about labels and stuff, so, if you're interested, here are a few things we've personally learned from several years as a "Origins Are Weird And Confusing" system who has been in therapy for A While at this point, in case they're useful to you: - you deserve whatever support you need, regardless of origin or dx or anything else. Therapy, friends who listen to you and support you, academic or workplace accommodations, the right to be unhappy and having a shitty time--you don't have to prove anything to be allowed to want/have those things. - trauma is a subjective experience about how your brain processed something difficult--not about whether the events were 'objectively bad enough to count', because there is no externally defined threshold. (There are certain types of negative experiences that are statistically very likely to be traumatic to the average person, but that absolutely does not mean that only those types of experiences "count".) - if you are experiencing lasting negative impacts from something that happened to you, 1) there is nothing you need to prove in order to be 'allowed' to get support for it; 2) anyone telling you that it wasn't bad enough to affect you is wrong. (This is true even in contexts completely unrelated to syscourse, btw!) - DID in specific is predominantly associated with chronic trauma/adverse experiences during childhood. However, if you have struggles with mental health issues and feel like a system, your options are not just either "100% Definitely DID" or "You're Making It All Up". Whether the label that happens to fit you and your experiences best is DID or any other label (OSDD, MaDD, PTSD + system, "stuff is shitty rn" + system, "who even knows", etc.) is between yourselves and the people on your support team--it's not the business of internet discourse randos trying to tell you whether or not you're valid. (Besides, figuring out what labels fit you best often isn't actually easy or obvious right away, for any number of reasons--including the fact that sketchy and/or 'muted' memories of awful experiences is a big part of many CDDs--and that's okay. Really. You get to figure stuff out at your own pace.) - you are allowed to use/benefit from CDD management strategies and ways of thinking whether or not you have one. (People without ADHD can use bullet journals. DBT isn't just for people with BPD. Etc. If it helps you, the important part is that it helps you.) - don't let the haters get you down. (There are folks out there in syscourse with complex and nuanced opinions, legitimate critiques of communities, etc.! And also, there are sometimes people who just want to be 'allowed' to feel hateful towards someone, aren't in good faith, and aren't interested in listening. What those people think of you or say about you Does. Not. Matter. They are howling at the moon.)

Good luck out there <3

thank you so so so so so much for the kind words!! i preach all of the same things yet sometimes its hard to believe it for yourself, so i genuinely really appreciate the reassurance.

i am looking for a label as of currently because i dont really know whats what, yknow?? its hard for someone like me because despite preaching all of those things, i struggle to understand what defines trauma!

a lot of my headmates tend to agree we do have trauma, but those who dont tend to feel very strongly about not, so it kinda pushes that positivity away!

it really sucks to be both your own supporter and your own enemy at the same time (not calling my headmates enemies its just the best way i can describe it)!

the vents i post are usually when im feeling fired up or upset over things, and again, for that post/ rant i had earlier i spread misinfo, which i feel HORRIBLE about, but i will keep the post up because someone else made a point on it and had the patience to help educate me!

i am still learning and alla that, its hard to navigate this community because theres so many terms, and due to general amnesia, whether it be the fact im a system or due to my ADHD, its hard to get a grasp on all of those!

anyways, sorry for the ramble and thank you so much for the kind words! i hope you have an amazing day ❤️

[trans-axolotl]

hey ive only recently learned that antipsychiatry is a thing and im trying to learn more about it. i came across your psych ward post and i totally see your point. and im trying to think about what could be done differently. for example a couple years ago my friend had drug induced psychosis and his friends brought him to a hospital where he then had to stay in the psych ward. especially in the beginning i could tell he hated it there. but at the same time he was having delusions. and unfortunately i just dont know what else couldve been done in that situation to help him. do you think theres a better way to deal with that kind of situation? or would it only be possible to deal with it differently in a totally different world? i hope its ok to ask u this question im just interested in ppls perspective who have personal experience w this

hey, anon! thanks for the ask.

I think it can be really difficult at first to imagine what alternatives to psych wards are when psych wards are all we've ever known. It can feel like the options are psych wards or no mental healthcare at all, which really sucks! But I firmly believe that there are other options, and in fact there are people creating those in the world right now. My answer might get a little long, but I'm going to try to organize my thoughts!

Replacing psych wards is definitely a big task, and is one that requires fundamentally reshaping the entire psychiatric system. Right now, so much of mental healthcare is really entwined with the restrictive, carceral, and oppressive systems of government. Whether it's the fact that most crisis hotlines call the police, that therapists have mandatory reporting laws around self-harm, or incredibly restrictive medication laws that make it difficult for people to actually get the meds they need, almost every area of professionalized mental health is connected to this fucked up structure. Lots of different parts of the mental health care system work together to perpetuate psychiatric incarceration, so it's not just psych wards that are the problem.

Another factor that feels important to me when talking about getting rid of psych wards is addressing some of the factors that push people into psych wards in the first place. There are always going to be mentally ill/mad/neurodivergent people and there are always going to be people in crisis, but I think that if our mental healthcare system wasn't so fucked, that maybe some people would be able to get help before things get to a crisis point for them. If medication was more accessible, if therapy wasn't super expensive, if there is more acceptance and education and resources and communities were better informed about how to support mentally ill people, then maybe not as many people would end up in some types of crisis. We can't talk about getting rid of psych wards without also talking about fighting against racism, colonialism, capitalism, transphobia--the things that are contributing to a lot of people's experiences of crisis.

In terms of actual physical replacements for psych wards, something that I think is really promising is peer respite houses. Basically, peer respite houses offer 24/7 crisis stabilization, staffed by people with lived experiences of mental health. They differ from psych wards in that they are not locked spaces, they are usually in a home-like environment, they are not focused on psychiatric diagnoses, and there's a large focus on trying to eliminate power imbalances between staff and residents. Here's a great link to read more about the mission and structure of peer respite. Here's a link to a mostly current directory of peer respite in the USA. I think peer respite is pretty awesome, and that's definitely something that's on my personal crisis plan for when I get to a crisis point where I cannot stay safe living on my own.

Realistically, psych wards don't really provide treatment, don't really work for many people, and are not really places that you go for healing. When you're at a psych ward, you aren't getting tailored therapy, you often only see a psychiatrist for fifteen minutes once or twice a week, and the stated goal really isn't on healing or treatment. It's on crisis stabilization to get you to a point where you are no longer at risk of harming yourself. And I think peer respite can do crisis stabilization so much more effectively, without locking up people, without giving them huge medical bills, without restraining people or drugging them without consent. There's a lot of peer respites that are connected to outpatient treatments and get people set up with therapy and medication if that's what they need.

I can't really speak to what would or wouldn't have worked for your friend, but I fundamentally believe that mentally ill/mad people deserve the right to our autonomy, and deserve our consent to be respected. It can and does get tricky in cases when people are harming themselves, delusional, or incoherent. However, as someone who has experienced all of those things, that is still not an excuse to just take away people's ability to consent and to lock people up. There are ways to support people who are refusing treatment, don't think there is a problem, or are unable to express their wishes. I could go on about that specific topic for a lot longer haha, but I'm just going to end with the fact that although it can seem like psych wards are the only option, there actually are a lot of people creating community resources as alternatives to psychiatry! We are working on building the different world that we want to see, and even though we are definitely not even close to there yet, there really are so many cool things that people are already doing to support each other.

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

*swings bat a hornets nest* ok but like what DID odalia know about the day of unity? when alador told her to stop helping the emperor he was really vague about it like “oh no odalia were going to hurt ppl” like alador honey king literally told you everyone was going to die maybe be more urgent with your warning. even if odalia wanted to be “royalty” theres no point in that if theres no one to rule over and extort money from so she couldn’t have supported the plan if she knew it was going to kill everyone.

she and her husband both also have a sigil. i dont think we ever see hers but it doesn’t make any sense for her not to have one. she’s a reputable business woman who flaunts her membership in the oracle coven and did cool oracle magic in her custody battle with her husband. the government wouldn’t have allowed such a public figure to not have a sigil. she was only in on belos’s plan since escaping expulsion so even if belos would make an exception for an ally to not get a sigil (which he wouldn’t he hates all witches) odalia still would have been pressured into getting one years ago when she was finishing her education.

she very pointedly looked at her sigil when alador was telling her about the spell. she couldn’t have gotten it off after she found out about the day of unity bc it doesn’t seem like there’s a way to do that. if there was belos wouldn’t have freaked out that much when luz sigiled him in king’s tide. and again. belos wouldn’t allow that because he wants her and all the other witches to die. (and no she wasn’t doing illusion magic in that scene in COTH thats just a summoning spell weve seen other sigiled characters do it)

(not to mention if she didn’t have her sigil, then the show would be drawing a parallel between her and eda for being practitioners of wild magic. it would be an interesting parallel to see luz’s mom embrace her wild magic and use it regularly while amity’s mom hides that part of herself to fit into polite society. while eda’s wild magic helped her encourage luz to rebel against the system odalia’s wild magic would have made her try to force amity into the emperor’s coven, where she could practice the same magic as her mom did but in a legal way. however obviously the show isn’t doing that so there’s no reason for odalia to get special treatment from belos to not have a sigil. even less reason for her to know the full truth of the day of unity, something that even the coven heads didn’t know.)

speaking of the coven heads it seems they were the only ones that knew the day of unity was a “draining spell.” and the coven heads seemed to think the drained magic would bring them to paradise somehow. was odalia told the same thing? did she think her magic would be drained but its okay bc belos would reward her? did she think she would somehow be exempt from the spell so she (and her family) would keep their magic? if she thought her family would lose their magic then is that why she signed amity up for the emperor coven tryouts after she started doing business with belos? because when everyones magic is gone the other covens would be useless except for the emperors?

is it just like. the lifetime of brainwashing she went through as a resident of the boiling isles making her unwilling to question belos too hard? i know shes supposed to represent one of those irl billionaires that bury their heads in the sand and profit off the world burning down. but theres a difference between knowing youre making money off of poor ppl in your factories dying of preventable workplace injuries and knowing that literally tomorrow you and every person in your society will die. even if odalia didnt care about her husband or her kids she would still be personally affected. and if she knew that she would be killed literally the next day then she wouldn’t care about the money. so like. what did belos tell her?

[lilkermit14]

Lavender & Mint

Fem!reader x Pero Tovar 

Synposis: In the conventional village of Cullfield lived an unconventional woman who served as an apothecary for the townsfolk. Stubborn and set in her ways, the woman of three tens remains unmarried and childless and plans to continue as such for the rest of her life, much to the horror and confusion of the village. But this unconventional woman has some surprises in store for her when an unconventional man named Pero Tovar rides into town, an event that will change both her and his plans forever—and may flip Cullfield upside down too.

Notes: Idk why I kept mentioning poop complications this chapter but I’m sorry and enjoy. It’s been a while but the CHAPTER is here. Please reblog!!!!

General Warnings: minor injuries, slow-burn, eventual smut, blood, childbirth

For this chapter: Non-sexual references to poop, mention pregnancy, murder, implicit brief reference to infanticide or child abandonment, pre-marital pregnancy and it’s complications in the 1400s, religious “morals”. 

Chapter 5: Garlic 

Last chapter // Next chapter

“When was the last time you passed bowels, Mister Ashdown?” you inquire, pressing on the old man’s stomach knowing you have found the root cause of his stomach issues. He blinks for a moment thinking as he lays on your observation table, before telling you, “quite some time I’m afraid.”

“I see,” you move your hands away putting your hands on your hips, “well, it seems that you just have a case of constipation––burdensome but not something hard to fix or that will have you laying on your deathbed.”

“You sure?” he asks, almost confused, moving to rise up from the table by himself only for you to come to his assistance. You clarify yourself, “Yes, you have many signs that point to it. It can be caused by a lack of competitive foods in your diet and is more likely with old age.”

“I’m not that old,” He interjects, but you compete, “Yes, but you're old enough for a blockage sir––you’ll be glad to know you’ll live to be truly old as long the burden is treated.”

He huffs now in a sitting position with legs dangling from the table, “so what do you have so i’ll shit.”

You huff at his language, “standard garlic will help move the process along, and I’m suggesting you make sure to eat more greens and berries to clear your system.”

You always assumed that you were let free to discuss any matters with your patients when they were the only ones in the shop, as no one else resided in your residence besides you. But that arrangement had changed and you were not the only one that resided in your home, “If my cock and bowels stop working just have someone put me out of my misery.”

You turn rigid and scandalized to see the face of Pero Tovar standing in your back entrance of the shop—entered unbeknownst to you through quiet steps and a lack of clear view. Mister Ashdown has no qualms defending himself, “I’m only five tens and if my cock doesn’t work how is my wife pregnant?”

You want to scream having to hear this conversation and did certainly not want to be reminded of the conversations you were subjected to by Farrah Ashdown. When the woman at four tens and five found out she was pregnant she spared no expense in telling you how it happened. You opted to rush him along before you could get his account of what he does with his wife, “okay sir here’s your supply get going now.”

“Enjoy the shit,” you hear Pero say and before mister ashdown can respond he is out your door. You turn to Pero fury and rage evident on your face as you are prepared to let the flames of hell loose on him. All he has is a stupid look on his face as he lets out the word, “what?”

“You bastard,” you begin pointing your finger at him moving towards him with menace in your voice towards a man that stands unbothered, “you do not talk to ANY of my clients in such manner especially in my shop.”

“Why is that hermosa? I would be rude to that man outside of your business, what makes your apothecary different?” He queries again with that name, only increasing your anger and distaste for him at the moment. With clenched teeth, you answer him, “I don’t care what you say to Mister Ashdown in town, but my shop is a place of respect––a place where anyone can come for health problems even if they are embarrassing. I want people to know they won’t be judged here because if they feel like they will be, they will come when it’s too late and I can’t do anything for them.”

Pero raises his brow at you, but lets you continue your rant uninterrupted, “When my mother was still alive, a young woman at ten and six came to us complaining of diarrhea, something she was embarrassed to talk about because it was gross and she did not want suitors to find out. Turns out she had sickness from a miasma––we took one look down the town well and discovered a deer had fallen in and died overnight.”

“That was lucky,” he comments, still invested in your story despite the vile nature of talking about excretion. You continue, “Yes, and we may not have caught it so soon if she didn’t come to us. The sickness is fast acting, in hours many more villagers could have been sick, but it was only her––and she lived.”

“Lived?” you smile at his question feeling pride at the healing powers your mom had and hope you live up to, “Yes, the sickness causes dehydration quickly but if you keep the person well hydrated and area clean to prevent reinfection––they will live. This summer she gave birth to her third child at my aid.”

“So their trust is important to you?” you give him a simple nod, glad he is understanding what you were asking of him. You turn to clean up the materials you had brought out to examine Mister Ashdown, not realizing that Pero was not done with questions, “Like how that woman came to you the other day crying in distress?”

You freeze––you had really thought the interest in Mariam had ended when William had first asked you about her the day after asking if she was okay. You nodded and told him it was just feminine needs and didn’t serve much interest in men, something that usually turned men away from asking questions. Well not Pero Tovar I guess, “Why was she crying?”

“It’s a complicated matt––”

“Things of safety are something I have to worry about you know,” He interjects, and you turn your head looking at him to see something serious cross his face, “I have to keep everyone in this village safe––you in particular hermosa––and I want to know if theres something you need to tell me.”

“Part of gaining trust is not telling personal information,” you counter, pulling together to formulate a lie, “It’s nothing of safety she was upset about something––she’s a friend of sorts to me.”

You can tell he doesn’t buy it––he can probably pull the full story together even though you doubt he’s heard a single thing about Mariam’s husband beating her––but he accepts, slouching and learning against a table in thought, “William and I may go for a short hunt––there's not much action in this town I’m afraid and we could use some fresh game.”

You nod, “If you catch any pigeon, I know how to handle it so it's not gamey.”

He huffs, “We're not very good hunters I’m afraid, so you’ll probably only get that or rabbit.”

–––––––––––––––––––

Pero Tovar had useful traits to him––like getting you pigeons––but he was mostly an annoyance. His mere presence always had you on edge, as you waited for something, something from him. It was usually something he said but if not it was his scent or stench rather of pine and something that was him. It was also his sloppy manner, the way he seemed raised with no table manners as he ate all your meals. He spoiled Mite, petting him and feeding him table scraps much to your despair. He was also too loud, his boots filling up the cottage and shop with noise, something that never usually happened.

You lent some time today to make more bread for the household, settling at your dining table and working the necessary ingredients for dough together. Mite lays in the corner, not doing his job as per usual and watching you with some sort of interest in the mannerisms of bread making, but he was likely just hoping for more food in the future. Kneading dough you begin to imagine the dough is Pero kneading your frustration into it. You press and it is his stupid broad shoulders that take up too much space. You pull, it’s the curls on the nape of his neck that are too unruly and untidy. You slam it down, it’s that stupid smile that appears on his face when you have entertained him. God you hate Pero Tovar.

“You may want to stop before you overwork the dough sweetheart,” You stop and see Mildred Becker staring at you with an amused look on her face. You huff Jesus, what does she want, “Sorry for my state, I didn’t hear you enter.”

“Don’t worry I understand too well––I always work out my anger into the dough,” you chuckle a little thinking about how a woman with too many children works out anger the same way as you––you definitely hate Pero Tovar, “I just stopped by because I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.”

You perk up, “Is Cateline suffering from baby blues again.”

“No, No thank the lord––we’ve been watching over her better this time,” Mildred rounds off, and you remember despite the grievances she gives you, she is a good mother to her children. She was the first to notice that something was wrong with her daughter after the birth and came to you to talk about it. From there Cateline was able to recover and enjoy motherhood, “Something with your house guest Pero Tovar has come to my attention.”

“What did he do,” You ask, prepared to beat Pero Tovar with your broom, but Mildred settles you, “nothing he did, just something someone is doing around him.”

You raise your brow at her beckoning her to continue, “You know Stanislava Rolfe?”

“Of course,” you affirm, surprised she is asking you such a question when you have treated everyone in Cullfield five times over. Mildred continues, “Yes well, She has begun to work at the Inn as a barmaid––she did well with charming Balthasar I guess.”

You were wondering why a poor farmer's daughter’s career path interested you, but you didn’t interject, “I happened to take a quick ale there with my husband, when I noticed something with her and Pero Tovar. You see she appeared extra flirtatious with him––and although barmaids usually are flirty with men in hopes for extra coin, it was more intentional.”

You frown, how could such a beautiful young girl be interested in such a disgusting brute, “Why is she interested in him?”

“Who knows? Many of the girls around Cullfield were excited to see unfamiliar battle-hardened men I supposed,” She ponders for a moment, “all we do know is that she is likely interested in him.”

“I don’t think he is interested in taking a wife,” You contest, brushing aside that Pero would have feelings for the young girl of two tens. Mildred just gives you a hardened stare, “He doesn’t have to be interested in matrimony to want something from her.”

Oh

“Was he showing interest back?” you dig trying to figure out the full extent of what you are formulating must be a whirlwind romance. Mildred hums, “no I suppose not, but sometimes men take persistent interest as a way to have a good time.”

You bite your lip remembering that Pero did not fornicate with prostitutes but barmaids, and feel a ball of ache and pain in your stomach at the thought. Mildred instates, “I came to you about this because I want you to try to stop it.”

“Stop it?”

“Yes, make it clear he is to not have such guests,” Mildred explains, and you can tell by her tone and expression you are in for some sort of story, “You know well enough that things go arigh when an unmarried woman gets pregnant, right.”

“Of course,” you remember the chaos that erupted in families when one of their daughters ended up pregnant, and the hasty weddings that came from it. But Mildred had a different story, “although most of the time it gets swept under the rug with a quick marriage and everyone just chooses to ignore it––horrid things can happen when there's not one.”

Mildred sits down at the nearby table, in clear thought of something dark and you go to sit down at a nearby chair, “When I was about ten and eight, and old enough to understand these things, a girl was taken advantage of by a soldier in our village. She was ten and six, and him far older so he should have had the wisdom not to mess with her. What mattered was after it happened, he left with his troop and was never seen in my home village again. She got pregnant, and tried to hide it at first––her mom was dead and she had no older sisters or aunts to go to, so she was afraid to go to her father. When it became too obvious, hate inspired awful things in the leaders of the village, and by the time she gave birth it accumulated.”

Mildred takes a moment to pause, emotions brewing inside her and you feel yourself frozen in place, “she tried to talk to them, pleading, saying he pressured her––persuaded her, but they all pointed and said witch and condemned her son too. She was burn’t at the stake, and her son––well he was never seen again.”

A pause fills the air as you sit in shock, digesting what Mildred has told you, “I’m sorry you had to witness that.”

Mildred huffs, “I’m sorry too, I made sure to get a husband that would get me out of that village and landed a good one on the way––I had seen what that village did to women and children for the sake of moral value and did not intend to stay so my daughters could see too. Adultery is a two person crime that only one party, the feminine one, receives punishment for.”

“So that's why Pero and Stanislava are of such concern to you?” You assume, and Mildred nods, “Although I think Cullfield is of better standing, I don’t desire to find out what they would do if such a case erupted. The girl may be doing this because she intends to capture a man with a better job, but mercenaries rest for a few women and not those of ten and eight.”

“I can understand her intentions I suppose,” you contemplate, believing that she doesn’t hold much true interest in him, but for a better life. Mildred hums, “so is there a chance you can talk to Pero about it?”

“I already established that he is to not bring guests into my home, and I doubt they would find a secluded enough place otherwise,” you reassure, standing up, “I can even remind him today if you would like.”

“That would be good,” Mildred agrees, joining you in standing and allowing you to guide her to the door, “be on the lookout too if you see her come preying––even though he lacks true interest.”

“I will,” you say, and somewhere in your heart you feel prepared to beat Stanislava Rolfe with your broom instead of Pero.

________________

Gardening was no easy task but it was the most necessary task the runner of an apothecary and a household had. Today your tending to crops was more focused on your food supply rather than collecting the necessary ingredients to keep your shop running. You're pleased to see that the last of your harvest grew well, and know that your winter stock will last even with your house guest. You had already pulled out all the carrots, and beets, and had shucked the vines wounding your house of beans and brussel sprouts. You were now left to work at the tough vines of the gourds and squash, planning on leaving the single pumpkin for Pero to handle––who should be on his way home from helping Balthasar with something at his inn.

Standing up with the final gourd in hand––you see something that fills you with immediate displeasure and sickens you to your core. Pero is walking up to your house pursued by Stanislava. You don’t quite know why you feel this angry at him; maybe it’s because you gave him explicit reminders on conduct or maybe––something else. Seeing the near, and well hearing Stanislava, you attempt to think fast to try to get her to leave. Greeting them both in an unnatural kind manner, “Pero, Stanislava, greetings.”

Pero gives you an immediate strange look while his shadow is oblivious and greets you back, “I was just telling Pero this wonderful stor––”

“Oh I must ask how is your rash healing up,” You feel like clapping your hands over your lips the moment the words fly out of your mouth. Stanislava stops in her tracks staring at you blankly, “what?”

“The one I gave you the ointment for––on your groin,” Oh my God what were you doing.

Stanislava turns bright red, “Good thank you––I––I have things to tend to at home, good evening you two.”

Stanislava hurries off, and an amused smile erupts on Pero’s face, “thank you for finally scaring that crow off––she’s been yapping my ear off with nonsense for weeks––I guess you're my scarecrow.”

“Excuse me?” scarecrow, you were going to kill this man. He smiles, a genuine smile, “Yes you scared off my crow––like a scarecrow would. Plus you're covered in leaves right now.”

“Do not call me that”

“Fine mi espantapájaros”

“I swear I’ll smother you in your sleep”

“Is that a true promise for you? Like how you promised not to tell customers private information yet just shouted about the crow’s crotch rash,” at that your body works on it’s own, taking the gourd in your hand and flinging it at Pero’s chest. It was a magnificent shot, and caused the vegetable to break and splatter it’s internal organs onto Pero’s chest and neck. Pero steps back from the impact and looks down on the goop he’s now covered in, “Now, no good espantapájaros does that.”

You press your palm to your face, “Just cut the pumpkin for me and bring it inside, you could use a good bath anyway, your stench is disgusting.”

“I do not smell,” he retorts, and you ignore him, bringing inside your harvest. You really do hate Pero Tovar.

----------------------

Apothecary’s feelings––hate or nah yall?

Garlic is use to treat a lot of ailments in Arab traditional medicine, including  heart disease, high blood pressure, arthritis, toothache, infections, and––as seen in this fic––constipation. Listen, I know the constipation part is true because I ate a pesto made with raw garlic and LORD did I shit. Anything else, not quite sure but hey worth a shot if you are desperate. 

It is also seen as an immune booster for colds and coughs––in fact if you are congested from a cold putting a clove of garlic in each nostril can clear that shit OUT.  

Garlic is also believed to help asthma symptoms. IDK if it actually is true but that’d be iconic because my mom loves garlic and she has asthma. 

Garlic is my favorite seasoning. I put it in my soup. I put it in my eggs. I put it in my ramen. I put it in my burgers. I put it in my cooch––

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