#i think the void was previous versions? but it’s not really that clear

[kipper-the-dog]

Generally wondering what is up with the teachers. Implications pointing to them being much more chilled out then in their lessons are so interesting,, imagine being given enough life to be sentient but then being used as a puppet for a cruel game and then being tossed out and left for dead when you’re done with

[reds-skull]

The frames of the video from the comic in the previous post. I experimented a lot with this, it was really fun to work with this chunky brush I found. Also the first time I draw the Reaper of Destruction as it was before Lumity!

More comments under the cut+a frame I ended up scrapping!

I'll go by order of appearance, because it's basically a chronological retelling of the events of part 1.

So the first frame is the least fancy because it was the first and I didn't nail down a style for this yet lol. It shows Ghost and Soap's first true meeting, in chapter 1, where Ghost helps Soap when he gets impaled by a rebar.

The second frame jumps to chapter 8, when Ghost first put Soap in Limbo. The triangle around them was a later addition, taken from the next frame. I love this scene, it's so fun to see it drawn out now :)

The third frame was the most important one to nail the style. I painted a whole frame, only to come back to it the next day and restart from almost 0.

This is the original third frame

They both show the same event - chapter 21, the second time Soap is thrown into Limbo. The difference is, one shows a more literal image of what happened, and the other is more symbolic.

And by now I think you know how much I love symbolism lol

What also bothered me with the scraped painting is that the composition isn't central, and the entire pose, while more dynamic, isn't fitting the mural feel the rest has.

There's an even earlier version of the scrapped painting, with Soap's face, but nowhere else there are faces in these series, so I went wild with it and covered it with flames. He had them behind him already, as the description of this scene in the fic says Soap had a helo of fire behind him.

(also hated how Limbo's victims looked in the scrapped version like... ew lol)

There wasn't a real reason to add the circles around Soap. I just wanted to lean more heavily into the mural style. But I took that circle motif to the end, after that, and added it to Ghost as well, hence the triangle.

Soap has one skeletal hand, and one palm. That one is on purpose, to show he's hanging in between life and death.

The fourth frame is pretty self-explanatory, it shows the part in chapter 21 where Soap gets the dark marks on his forearm. If the colors look weird in that one, it's because I messed with them so much I couldn't tell if they look good anymore on not

The fifth frame shows another favorite moment of mine, the moment Ghost gets his marks, the white tear tracks, when he finally notices Soap fighting in the void.

The sixth frame is my favorite of the bunch. Soap and Ghost, the triangle and circle combined. The moment they killed Graves, Ghost in full control of his subjects, Soap with his sword of white fire and army of burning moths. They look so scary in this one I love them

The seventh frame shows Void and Destruction. Void was straight forward, I've drawn it a few times before, but I had to make a more detailed design for Destruction, and I only had the very first sketches I made for Revenant AU to go off of, as well as Lumity's design. Idk why I designed Lumity before Destruction, but that's how it is. I wanted Destruction melting, like it can't handle its own heat.

The eighth frame is of Void and Destruction combining. In the fic they had in-between states, it didn't look like this, but for the sake of the video I thought it'd be nicer to have a clear frame of them combining.

The ninth and last frame is of our beloved Lumity. Their design is a little more detailed than the drawing I made a while back. This frame is also the only one that interacts with the foreground, aka Makarov. I think he was jump-scared, don't know how much that comes across.

Damn I had a lot to write. Well, when given the opportunity to ramble...

[kichiyosh1]

Deceitful Youth: "II - Pretty face"

< previous | Masterlist | next >

Scaramouche was never a man that would stoop down as low as to change his own appearance just for another. Running a hand through the synthetic material of what is to appear as real hair, length long and went far below his shoulder blades, he can't help but laugh.

It lay snug on his head and framed his face perfectly. Blazer and school uniform already ironed and worn, though the length of the skirt does bother him. His signature red eyeliner stayed unmoving, little has changed of his face, not that more was needed to be done. A bit of mascara to emphasize his lashes and a swipe of cherry lipstick, the substance slightly graced his tongue, and the taste was more than unwelcomed in his mouth. Was flavor a necessary factor in cosmetics? ridiculous.

After all was said and done, the product of his efforts was staring right at him through his glass mirror. "I almost look like her", his pointer finger stretching a little bit of the skin under his left eye, tongue out to mock the image he was seeing of himself. He did look like her, the genes sure don't lie. He'd even go as far as to say his sister was a carbon copy of that woman's face. Still, he took pride in the fact he looked good in both genders, 'cause had he been born female than they would have been fucked.

The halls were filled with what you'd expect from an all girls school. They lined the hallways like busy bees, buzzing with whatever chatter or gossip that crossed their minds, while others were decent enough to hurry on over to their next classes. This was where he had to make a choice. He still needs to get his schedule from his class adviser, though unnecessary since he's already made sure he was in your class. Despite this, he had absolutely no idea where he was going. His ego would surely take a hit if he got lost on his first day, but same thing if he were to ask for simple directions.

The school had provided him with the details, but all of that was now lost in this maze of disarray. Fortunately(in a way), before one of his vein vessels could burst, something collided into his back, almost knocking the air out of his lungs.

"WATCH-! ahem" he had to clear his throat, he was not going to lose his composure over some stranger that almost had him toppling over. (he needs to keep his voice nice and dainty too, less he wants his real tone to get out)

"Please watch where you're going, it's really crowded so you should be mindful of the people around you." Like he'd give a shit. As long as the people around him minded their own business, then he'd have no reason to be in theirs. Really, the nerve of some people to be so clumsy as to inconvenience others. He'll make sure to remember the face of such an annoying cause.

The moment he turned around, was the moment he wished to cut off all connections with his brain.

"Pretty..." That wasn't his voice, it was yours. You, who had been his first spark of hope in his desolated void of sorrow. His gaze was unfocused, or perhaps he was too focused that his vision started to shake. It took all gears in his puny brain to process the words that fell from your delicate lips. You think he was pretty? him? rather, the 'she' version of the 'him' you used to know? his knuckles had turned white from gripping onto the fabric of his school uniform, unsteady breathes while you only looked at the person in front of you with nothing but fascination.

"Ah, my apologies. I just blurted it out without even thinking!" It didn't take long for you to recover from the shock of bumping into some stranger it seems. "You're not hurt are you?" you took a step closer, inspecting him of any injuries, while he stood there stiff as a board. Lower lip quivering and hair standing on end.

too close!

"I don't see anything, what a relief! Again I'm really sorry for the trouble. Hope to bump into you again some other time— in a, eh, not so harsh way next time hopefully?" You did a little wave, but before you could leave the conversation(which was very onesided) and be on your way, you noticed how 'her' mouth kept opening and closing like that of a fish.

"classroom... lost... schedule..."

His thoughts were in shambles, only able to mumble out what little had been on his mind before you came. Fingers playing with the fold of his skirt, figure shying away from yours. He was all red in the face and he's barely said a proper sentence.

"You're lost? good thing we crossed paths then, I haven't been here for too long either but I already got a good map of the place. I can show you to your room if you'd like?" Before he could even respond you'd already seized his hand, pulling him by the wrist as you continued down the hallway. He didn't even give you the details yet and you already had him following.

look at you, taking on the role of guardian angel

his guardian angel.

From outsiders, the scene itself was just that of an ordinary girl tugging along her lost friend to who knows where, and that much was true! but the details had been blurred.

The plot has yet to cross over that blurred line into something far more greedy and sickening.

important note! when I refer to scara as 'her/she' i usually only do so when in the pov of reader and others that don't know he's a guy<3

____

Taglist! (pls tell me if i forgot to tag you!)

@r0ttenhearts @kazuuhhaaaa @ahseya @reirea-002 @silaswritesthings @scaraapologist @magica-ren @sketcheeee @dan9a-00 @bdf2 @tearsin @randomnl @xinhar @after-determination-tale @valeriele3 @serossidechick @worldhardtibbysoft @darkxrain @cloudycloudd @lazy-sanns @scara-alzwari @silly-ez @featuredtofu @st4rcheese

[poppy-purpura]

The Tin of Your Sight (TToYS) It was just a city with laboratories and experimental facilities. Tin was not the first of the purpose organisms with the ability to think; technically, he was the sixth. They were not yet called iterators and they did not have large bodies (and obviously they had some specific tasks and established identities). But it was precisely during the time of Tin that everything began to change. He was chosen to grow into something more, to have more opportunities (and jobs). But his construction turned out to be quite a long process and the House (Cult of Drinking Liquid Metals), which sponsored it, decided to first invest in the construction of another iterator - AoS, the construction of which led to easier access to the Void. Therefore, Tin was not the first, but I prefer to generally consider him to be zero. Anyway due to the fact that this city was mostly engaged in development, the whole structure looked more like an anthill. In addition, besides Tin, there were other “non-iterators” in the structure. Later, Tin had to take care of them (many of their processes were under his control). Tin was quite attached to the Ancients, especially to those who directly worked with him, who changed spare parts for his puppet. Although he knew about the religious intentions of the Ancients, he was still not ready to let them go. And he did everything his way, forcing at least some of them to stay.

This is just a sketch for the development of the structure. I usually call this structure an anthill. This is quite rough, because I don’t have a very good idea of the development process of such organisms. Maybe... Someday I'll draw it better.

Here are notes on what the Tin puppet looked like. It even had a slightly different way of interacting with the panels. You can also see here what previous versions of Tin look like. They don't have names, but they probably made them up. Not all of them have puppets, they're more like just AI. They can communicate, their bodies need to be maintained.

The final design of Tin and it is also shown here that it was the Ancient who led the TToYS project who gave him the headband.

It should be made clear that since Tin's superstructure was constantly being expanded and modernized, he had incredibly more freedom than an iterator could have. When he found that he did not want to let Ancients go, he changed their diet by adding certain plants. Yeah, he got them hooked on drugs to control their minds (for obvious reasons he could not perform a lobotomy directly) or something until they were the only ones left. Their religion has undergone a change, so that Tin now enjoys the status of God.

He is not very interested in his local group because he has always been involved in the affairs of the Ancients + he has his "family". He hides his actions from the group and is forced to defend his territory from overseers. Other iterators sometimes try to know about him but he speaks only to the point and simply ignores inconvenient questions. well AoS knows about TToYS's shenanigans with Ancients anyway. But this group has much problems so AoS just pretend he dont know anything

Swits are just... birds who can run and chase creatures. They are not really good at flying, but still they able to do it Overseers are slightly modernized in order to exclude other overseers

He is not very kind to his eldest. They depend on him, but they have their own consciousness and their own small tasks. In essence, they are really just calculators with their own opinions Only two of them has own puppets, other three are just text and some big boxes with em... brain staff (the 4th had puppet but it broken now)

Also he is a spoiled child tehee

[honeyoru]

resonance (steve harrington x superpower! reader) chapter seven

masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter

content warning for blood n gore!

“I said Dr. Sam Owens,” Hopper’s irritated tone floated through the Byers' house once you popped back into the living room, damp boots and hunting knife in hand. You startled Nancy, who was hovering nervously in the hallway, giving Jonathan space while he sat with his unconscious brother. 

Giving her an apologetic smile for the fright, you headed to the kitchen and nodded at Steve, who was leaning against the counter. “Did I miss much?” you muttered and began braiding your damp hair.

“What, was I supposed to count the bodies?” the older man growled into the receiver, shaking his head angrily. “I don’t know how many people are left alive in there!”

“Not really,” Steve replied. “Chief’s been on the phone since you left,” he gave your blood-free outfit a glance and coughed. “Could be going better, though.”

“I am the goddamn police!” The man in question yelled. “I’m fuckin' Chief Jim Hopper!”

“They didn't believe you, did they?” Mike asked Hopper when he eventually slammed the phone, fuming.

“We’ll see,” he hedged before nodding at your clean state. “That was a quick shower. You get any blood on my floor?”

“We’ll see?” the boy cried before you could reply. “We can’t just sit here while those things are loose!”

Raising your eyebrows at his attitude, you remained silent and finished your elaborate braid, flicking it over your shoulder. You looked knowingly at the man. “I teleported into the bathtub, so no." You swallowed, thinking of how much red had went down the drain. "Clean as a whistle.”

Choosing to ignore Mike as well, Hopper asked as nonchalantly as he could. “Is the cat inside?” 

Plopping onto the hard tile floor, you set to work drying off the boots with a dish towel, sending a nod to Max when she shuffled over to sit next to you. “Nope.” El appeared to be sleeping on a bus, for reasons unbeknownst to you, heading back to Hawkins from God knows where. She appeared safe in the void, but seemed to have gotten a makeover since she’d been gone. 

“It’s still weird that you two live together,” Dustin shook his head. 

Hopper’s condensed version of how you met when you arrived at the Byers’ earlier left something to be desired, simply telling the group that he had rescued you in the forest. No one asked questions. 

You all had other things to worry about, after all.

“Can we please focus on the problem?” Mike burst out. “Why aren’t we going to do anything?”

Hopper visibly resisted snapping at him, sending a tired glance your way. “We’re going to stay here and wait for help.”

You cleared your throat at the deflated look the boy wore and tipped your head towards the hallway, looking back at Hopper. “Have you checked on her?”

The man shook his head. Sighing, he trudged down to the room where Joyce had remained inside since your group arrived, lightly knocking before entering. 

“Did you guys know that Bob was the original founder of Hawkins AV?” The younger Wheeler asked the group (mostly Dustin and Lucas) after a few moments of silence. He was fiddling with a box in his hands.

You felt your throat tighten, flashes of the man's body flickered in your mind against your will. Your eye twitched and you continued to wipe at the shoes. 

Dustin hummed. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Mike said, looking sadly at a stack of puzzles on the table. “He petitioned the school to start it and everything,” he smiled wistfully. “Pretty awesome, right?” 

The other two boys agreed. 

“We can't let him die in vain." Mike stood up suddenly, wearing a stern expression. "We can’t.”

“Well, what do you want us to do, Mike?” Dustin said, throwing his arms up. “The Chief's right on this. We can't stop those demodogs on our own.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the dumbfounded look on Wheeler's face. He scrunched his eyebrows. “Demodogs?”

“Demogorgon,” Dustin sighed, clearly irritated at explaining the word for the nth time that night. “Dogs. Demo dogs. It's like a compound!” he rolled his eyes at Mike’s blank stare. “You know, a play on words?” 

“I know what a compound is Dustin!” he hissed before rolling his eyes back at him. “There has to be something we can do.”

“Maybe when it was just Dart we could fight them off," Lucas said. "But there’s a whole army of them now.”

“Precisely.” 

“You couldn’t even fight Dart,” Steve snorted. “You shitbirds let us do that for you, remember?” 

“His army!” Mike exclaimed, ignoring him. “The demodogs are his army! Maybe if we stop him, we can stop them, too.”

That got your attention.

“Whoa, whoa whoa, no!” Steve was already shaking his head when you stood back up, mostly-dry boots tugged back on your feet. “No way!”

“No way what?” Hopper walked back in.

“You said his army,” you cut in aggressively, jumping closer to the kids and startling them a little with your sudden participation. “Who’s he?” 

“Um.” Mike blinked at your close proximity and went to pick up a paper from the counter that had a drawing of a monster on it. “The shadow monster,” he said, handing you the paper. You frowned, it looked like a big ass spider. “It got Will that day on the field,” Mike explained. “The doctor told us it was like a virus. It infected him.” 

“Like in The Evil Dead.” Steve mused. “It’s possessing him?”

You bit your lip. The shadow monster.

A bout of dread churned through you at the thought of just who he could be. 

“And so this virus, this monster,” Max said, glancing between you and the paper. “It’s connecting Will to the tunnels?”

“Tunnels?” your eyes widened. “Ho-hold on,” you stammered, abruptly turning towards the many papers haphazardly taped on the walls. “Is that what these are?” you all but sprinted to the wall nearest you, where what was now clear to you as tunnels trailed out into the living room. 

You hadn’t had time to ask about Joyce’s choice of interior design when you’d first arrived.

“To the tunnels, monsters, the Upside Down,” Mike confirmed. “It’s connecting Will to everything.”

A small whimper escaped you. Fucking hell. Your heartbeat skyrocketed looking at the series of papers creeping along the walls, turning to glance fearfully at the boys and then back around to the wall you were closest to. 

“Slow down, Jesus,” Steve ran a hand through his hair, shooting a concerned look in your direction.

Not here. You squeezed your eyes shut. Not now. 

“Okay, so, the shadow monster is inside everything,” Mike mused, ignoring your outburst. “And if the vines feel something like pain, then so does Will.”

“And so do the demodogs,” you heard Lucas say. “Like Dart.”

They were speaking back and forth incredibly fast, clearly all thinking the same thing. Not that it really mattered to you; they might as well have been underwater. Putting a hand against the wall, you stared blankly at the paper in front of you and breathed heavily, trying to tune back into the conversation. 

“It’s like what Mr. Clarke taught us,” Lucas said excitedly. “The hive mind.”

“Hive mind?” Steve asked.

 “A collective consciousness. It's a super-organism. And this is the thing that controls everything. It's basically the brain—”

“—like the Mind Flayer!”

“The what?” Max and Steve asked in unison, causing someone, you weren’t sure who, as you couldn’t look away from the papers, to run down the hallway. 

Get it together, you scolded yourself, blinking rapidly at the hues of blue that weaved along the wall. You’ve got a monster to worry about, which is probably the one that sent you here in the first place. Why Henry would want to be a freaky spider monster, you weren’t too sure. 

It’s okay. You shuddered, taking a deep breath. It’s not like they want to go frolicking in the tunnels. Turning around, you rejoined the group that now included Jonathan and Nancy. Bury the fear, you told yourself. Refocus on the problem at hand.

It was Mike who ran back into the kitchen, slamming a large book on the table as everyone crowded around it. The boys explained over each other, describing the monster that they thought was terrorizing poor Will. 

“It's a monster from an unknown dimension—”

“—so ancient that it doesn't even know its true home—”

“—enslaves races of other dimensions by taking over their brains using its highly-developed psionic powers—”

“—Oh, my God, none of this is real!” Hopper finally lamented, wiping a hand down his face. “This book is just from that kids game you play!” He called out your name. “Help me out here!” 

You couldn’t help but shrug. “To be fair, it’s not like I ever thought monsters like the demodogs existed before I came here,” you peered down at the spider-like creature in the book, missing the look of delight Dustin briefly wore at you using his name for the monster. “Why couldn’t this one be real as well?” And I’m from the future, you thought. Someone could tell you pigs were flying and you wouldn’t be surprised. 

“Thank you!” Dustin exclaimed. “And this isn’t a game, Chief, it’s a manual,” he argued, his tone full of sass. “And unless you know something that we don't, this is the best metaphor—”

“—Analogy,” Lucas cleared his throat, correcting him.

You snorted at the look on the curly-haired boy’s face. “Really Lucas?” he asked snarkily. “Analogy? That's what you're worried about?” He rolled his eyes. “Fine. An analogy for understanding whatever the hell this monster is.”

Nancy sighed. “Okay, so this mind flamer thing—”

“— Flayer . Mind Flayer.”

Her eye twitched. “What does it want?”

“To conquer us, basically,” Dustin explained. “It believes it's the master race.”

“Right.” Steve nodded along. “Like the Germans!” 

Eight pairs of eyes blinked at him. “Um,” Dustin squinted at him. “Do you mean the Nazis?”

“Yes!” He snapped his fingers and despite the situation, you couldn’t help the tug of your lips at how proud he looked. “The Nazis!” 

“I mean, sure?” Dustin paused. Hopper rubbed his face in exasperation and looked at you before tilting his head at Steve, clearly questioning your claim that he would eventually one day become Chief.

Dustin continued. “If the Nazis were from another dimension, then yeah…totally.  Uh, it views other races, like us, as inferior to itself.”

Mike pointed at a paragraph in the book. “It wants to spread, take over other dimensions.”

“If this is the same monster we’re dealing with,” Lucas finished somberly. “Then we are talking about the destruction of our world as we know it.”

Nancy ignored Steve’s panicked outburst at the cheerful statement, leaning in closer to look at the book. “Okay, so if this thing is like a brain that's controlling everything, then if we kill it…”

“We kill everything it controls,” Mike finished. 

“We win.” Dustin said.

“Theoretically,” Lucas added. 

“Fantastic,” Hopper stated dryly. “So how do you kill this thing? Shoot it with Fireballs or something?” 

Dustin chuckled. “No. No fireballs. Um, you summon an undead army, uh, because,” he stammered, looking to his other friends for help. “You know, because zombies… they don't have brains, and the Mind Flayer, it… it... It likes brains? This is a game,” he broke off, shaking his head. “It’s just a game.”

Your eyes shot skyward as Hopper groaned and slapped the table. “What the hell are we doing here?”

“I thought we were waiting for your military backup!” Dustin sneered. 

“We are!”

Mike pointed to the book. “How could they stop this anyway? You can't just shoot this with guns.”

“You don't know that!”

Lucas put his head in his hands. “We don't know anything!”

Mike shook his head, straightening his spine to continue arguing with Hopper. You looked on with mild respect. The kid didn’t know how to give up. “We know it's already killed everybody in that lab. We know the monsters are gonna molt again. We know that it's only a matter of time before those tunnels reach this town.” You felt your heart stutter again. “So we need to do something. ”

“He’s right.” An angry, tear-stricken Joyce stood in the entryway, making your heart clench a little. “We have to kill it. I want to kill it.” 

“Me, too,” Jonathan agreed, putting an arm around his mother. 

"Me, too, Joyce, okay?" Hopper looked pained, his expression softening at the woman. “Believe me, I want it dead too. But how do we do that? We don't exactly know what we're dealing with here.”

“From what they said,” you spoke up faintly, eyes flickering worriedly to the illustrations on the wall again. “It sounds like Will does.”

“She’s right,” Mike nodded. “If anyone knows how to destroy this thing, it's Will. He's connected to it. He'll know its weakness.”

“I thought we couldn't trust him anymore,” Max furrowed her eyebrows. “Isn’t he a spy for the Mind Flayer now?” 

Nancy breathed, excitedly meeting her brother’s eyes. “He can't spy if he doesn't know where he is.”

…

“You okay, kid?” You jerked, almost slamming the piece of plywood you were holding into Hopper’s face. “Sorry. How's your cut?”

“Just stings a little,” you relaxed, walking towards the backyard with him. It was decided that Will would be placed in a blacked-out shed to confuse the Mind Flayer. “Nothing I can't handle. Hop. But it’s just,” you said, adjusting the wood in your hands and frowning. “The monster controlling Will, what if it’s… him ?” 

“Henry?” he asked, sighing when you nodded. The two of you passed Steve and Nancy, who seemed to be having a serious talk while gathering more materials to cover the shed with. “Could be,” he shrugged. “Course, that would mean that Henry was who got Will last year, too,” a frown graced his face. “Which would make a lot of sense, actually. Why the hell didn’t I think of that sooner?” He muttered, scratching his chin with the hammer he was holding thoughtfully. “Do you think it’s him?”

“Probably.” You adjusted the wood in your arms and grimaced. “It’s too much of a coincidence for it to be a different evildoer, right?”

He groaned. “I fucking hope not. Chief of Police doesn’t pay nearly enough for handling more than one. Best if we just have the one instead.”

You shuddered, thinking of the group that was now faced with defending Hawkins from evil for a second time. “How are you all so… calm about this?” you shook your head. “I thought another dimension and monsters would make people more…”

“Scared?” he offered. “Freaked out?”

“It's these kids,” Hopper sighed when you nodded. “They grew up playing that damn game and reading comic books, I think they’re the only people in the world who would see actual monsters and be excited about it.” You chuckled, setting the wood down inside of the shed. “They’ve met real-life superheroes, kid,” he nudged you playfully. “More than one now. They’re scared, no doubt, but this is still an adventure to them.”

“They’re reckless,” you whispered. 

“Someone else has always been around to save them,” he shrugged, and suddenly you were back in the living room of your old house, listening to your mother weave a not-so-happy bedtime story of just what could happen to kids who acted reckless. “Hey, don’t worry,” he said gently, misinterpreting your shift in demeanor. “Everything’s gonna be okay. We did this once before and managed to keep everyone safe.”

Swallowing, you looked up at him, feeling just as young as you really were. “And the tunnels?”

“What about them?” He squinted. “Wait, is that why you were staring at the wall earlier?” A sigh was released when his question was met with silence. “The tunnels,” he said. “That’s how those dogs are getting around town, they go all the way to the lab.” 

You shuddered. “And we have no reason to go in them, right?”

“Hell no.” He looked at you strangely. “I got stuck down there yesterday, really don’t recommend it. Relax,” he laughed at your panicked expression. “Those kids might be reckless, but they’re smart. They won’t go charging into danger, let alone those tunnels. Don’t worry about it.”

You remained silent the rest of the time you worked, praying he was right.

…

Once the shed was covered and deemed unrecognizable, you went inside to wait with Steve, Nancy, and the kids, save for Mike, while Hopper carried an unconscious Will out back. 

“How can you even be hungry?” Lucas shuddered, watching you rummage through the fridge after a few minutes of silence. The group had panned out, loitering nervously throughout the house. “You know, with all the shit you saw in the hospital.” 

“Lucas!” Max shot him a nasty glare, causing him to wilt a little. 

You smiled. I knew I liked her.

“What?” he argued. “It was a lot of blood! I’m just saying, I’d be too grossed out to eat right now if I had to kill those things and watch someone die.”

Your smile faltered. “Well it's a good thing you didn't have to.” You leaned against the fridge door, knowing he wasn't trying to be rude. “I spent most of today fighting those damn dogs so I’m pretty wiped out. If it’s alright with you, I’m gonna eat something not necessarily because I want to,” you said, raising an eyebrow at him. “But because if we get attacked again, it won’t do us any good if I pass out. Using my power takes up energy,” you said, spinning back around to dig through the fridge and grab a jar of jelly before blanching at the sight of the bright red color. “Unless, of course, you and your wrist rocket are gonna take on that army by yourself?” 

“If he finds out where we are,” Dustin said hesitantly, watching you make a face and put the jar back, choosing instead to make a plain peanut butter sandwich. “Do you think he’ll send those dogs after us?”

“He won't find out,” Lucas insisted. 

“Yeah, but, if he does…”

“Then we're fucked,” Max deadpanned, just as the lights in the house started to flicker.

“And on that note,” you hummed cheerfully, gesturing towards the kitchen light. “I’m gonna go sit while I still can.” You grabbed your finished sandwich and a glass of water before strolling out into the hallway, avoiding the tunnels that crept along the wall with you. 

Choosing to sit on the couch beside Nancy, you nibbled delicately at your sandwich in a way you knew wouldn’t cause any crumbs to fall, watching Steve swing his bat aimlessly in the corner of the room as the ticking clock above him alerted you that it was nearing 9 p.m.

“So,” Nancy hesitated, watching you eat with curious eyes. “You have powers.”

You licked peanut butter off of your finger. “Yup.”

“Like Eleven.”

Shrugging, you took another bite. “So they tell me.”

“But," she paused again. "You’re not from the lab.”

“Nope.”

She frowned. 

You almost wanted to smile. Gotta try harder than that, Wheeler.

“How long do you plan on staying in Hawkins?” Steve asked suddenly, leaning on his studded bat.

“Not sure.” You swallowed the rest of your sandwich, making sure no residue remained on your lips. 

“Why?” Nancy’s tone was pressing. “Don't wanna go back home?” 

You raised your eyebrows, taking a sip of water so you wouldn’t laugh at her determination. “No home to go back to,” you said evenly. 

“Oh,” Steve, the actual angel, replied, looking genuinely sad for you. “I’m sorry.” 

“Could be worse,” you shrugged, placing the glass back down on the coffee table. You started a little at Nancy’s wide, unblinking eyes.

“You’re lying.” Nancy’s accusation made you finally bark out a laugh. 

“Nancy!” Steve scolded. “She’s not on trial here.” 

She blinked at him incredulously. “You’ve only known her for one night, Steve, and you’re defending her?”

The against me went unspoken. “Yikes,” you couldn’t help but let out. “Can we not drag me into whatever this is?”

They ignored you.

“Uh yeah, I am!” Steve nodded furiously. “She saved all of us, Nance! Multiple times!” He cried, swinging his bat to rest on his shoulder. “And you’re interrogating her like you think she’s a monster!” 

“She’s a stranger, sue me for being cautious,” she scoffed. “She obviously lied to us in the store, she’s probably lying about how she ended up here too.” 

“The store?” you repeated, eyes curiously bouncing between the two. 

Nancy’s face tightened, almost like she was angry you dared to join the conversation. “You said you were trying to cheer up someone, a girl who couldn’t go outside on Halloween.” 

Movement out of the corner of your eye alerted you to an audience currently peeking from the kitchen at the noise. Little eavesdroppers.  

“And from what Hopper just told us,” she said. “That can’t be true,” she tilted her head tauntingly. 

“Oh, so you do remember Halloween night?” Steve laughed harshly, causing the girl’s face to drop guiltily. 

“Steve…”

“No, Nancy!” he held a hand up. “You know what? Who cares if she’s lying? She fought those things with me, a total stranger,” you winced internally. “and then she ran into the lab without thinking twice for Will and your brother! She saved us all practically by herself and is still helping us now even when she doesn’t have to! I think she’s entitled to a few secrets.” 

“She didn’t save everyone,” Nancy snapped defensively, freezing once she realized what she had said.

You swore the temperature dropped twenty degrees as you looked up at her expressionless, grateful the sharp pain that splintered across your chest didn’t reflect on your face. Nancy couldn’t hide the panicked glance she sent towards your hands, which were thrumming with energy. 

You would’ve snorted if you weren’t so upset. Not with Nancy, of course, but with yourself. 

She wasn’t wrong, after all. 

The door to the kitchen suddenly slammed open before you could say anything to the girl, sending you into fight mode. You quickly teleported into the room, everyone else following closely behind. Hopper was furiously scribbling on a notepad at the table. “What happened?”

“Will,” he rushed out. “He’s tapping on his chair.” Finally, he leaned back, allowing you to look. “I think he's talking, just not with words. We just have to keep Will, or the thing inside him, anyways, distracted while he tells us.”

“What is that?” Steve asked, and all of you hovered around the dots and dashes that littered the paper.

“Morse code,” you replied along with multiple people, nodding your head in approval.  “He’s smart.”

“H-E-R-E,” Nancy read.

“Here,” the group said in unison. 

“Will's still in there,” Hopper explained. “He’s saying something to us.”

“Looks like we got a plan after all,” Dustin grinned.

…........

The harsh words Nancy said were tabled for later, you supposed, as you all hastily repeated the corresponding letters to Will’s morse code that Hopper sent via walkie-talkie. The celebration of the resulting phrase “CLOSE GATE” was short-lived, however, as the Byers’ phone began to shrilly ring, sending you all into a frenzy.

“Who the hell is even calling this late?” Lucas yelled. The panic that filled you was swift and sudden, and rather than waste any more time you threw a hand in the direction of the phone, swiftly ripping it from the wall and sending it hurtling down the hall. 

You made a mental note to apologize to Joyce later.

“Do we, uh, think Will heard that?” Dustin asked, glancing around the house. 

“It’s just a phone,” Steve frowned. “Couldn’t it be from anywhere?”

A horrible shrieking, familiar to most of you, filled the air.

Wryly, you stretched your arms out and flicked your braid over your shoulder while the kids flew to the windows, looking for any sign of the dogs on the horizon. “Guess that answers that question.”

“Shit!” The kitchen door bounced off the wall once more, revealing the rest of the group and an unconscious Will. “Get away from the windows!” Hopper yelled to the kids, lugging two guns inside. “Can you use this?” he asked you, holding a shotgun out. 

The look on your face was priceless as you scoffed, waving your hands out dramatically. "Right." Nodding sheepishly, he asked the group the question again at large, ultimately handing it to, surprisingly, Nancy. 

“Alright,” You pushed over the kids heads to look outside, nodding a little. “I’ll be right back.”

“What?” The vein on Hopper’s forehead pulsed angrily. “You’re not going out there.”

“I’m the first line of defense, Hop,” you rolled your eyes, pointing at yourself. “I ate a sandwich, I’ll be fine!” 

He sputtered in response and without much of a farewell, you made sure to grab the hunting knife and teleported outside, hearing a faint “ ...away from the goddamn windows!” when you gracefully stepped down the front porch. 

You shook out your shoulders, clocking the creatures that were already creeping in from the tree line, the single street light at the edge of the driveway casting a particularly horrifying glow on their shadows. 

“Shit,” you shuddered, unable to remain as confident as you appeared in the house. No matter how much it thrilled you to fight, you couldn’t help but be nervous. You had no idea how many dogs were watching you.

It didn’t matter, you resolved. No matter what, you wouldn’t let them kill someone else. You spared a glance back to the house, letting out a chuckle at the faces that were smashed against the window again. 

Swallowing harshly, you allowed your mind to go blank. “Well, come on, already, Henry!” you taunted, beckoning whatever was out there closer. 

Adrenaline pumped through your body as the creatures begin barreling towards you in response. It was like a choppy ocean wave, the dogs tripping over each other just as they did in the lab in an attempt to get to you first. You cleared your thoughts, tuning into the environment around you, and began to fight as the first few screeched and lunged. 

It was likely that only minutes had passed by as you spared a glance down to the dogs that lay dead at your feet, the rush from fluttering around the yard leaving you a little dizzy. You had just taken a deep breath when you had to suddenly duck, the flailing body of a limp demodog was soaring over you, straight through the window of the house. What the hell?

Straightening, you were flooded with relief at the sight of the figure that stood a few feet away, commenting dryly. “Well, that was dramatic.” 

At the very end of the driveway stood El, still donned in all black. With a quick pop you appeared next to her, fluttering around as she began to attack the remaining creatures with determination you hadn’t seen before. 

“You’re a little shit, you know that?” you called out, yanking your knife out of a demodog and spraying the mailbox with blood. “I would’ve gone with you.” 

She smiled, gesturing to the many bodies littered across Joyce’s lawn. “I needed to do it alone,” El responded. “Looks like they would’ve been in trouble if you weren’t here.”

You couldn’t help but agree. 

“What happened?” she asked. 

Sharp pain suddenly flooded you as one of the creatures managed to claw at your leg when you were turned the opposite way, knocking you to the ground with a yelp. 

You heard someone yell from inside the house. 

“We need to close the gate,” you huffed, furious at the dog for pulling you into a puddle of blood. "I just cleaned those shoes!"

Her breath hitched. "Again?”

“Yep,” you grunted, kicking the monster in the head and closing your fist, squishing its petals with your mind. El helped you up, taking notice of the last remaining dogs that were left. 

Together, you both raised your hands, flattening the creatures and filling the night with silence once more. 

You looked at her, tucking a stray piece of hair back. “Where’d you go anyways?” 

“Chicago.” You pulled her in for a hug with a chuckle. 

Hopper was gonna have a heart attack.

Tightly, you squeezed her, feeling the smaller girl squeeze just as hard back. “Was it windy there?”

“Yes,” she nodded seriously when you broke apart. “Very windy.”

You snorted, sighing tiredly. “Did you find whatever it was you went there for?” 

“Yes,” El smiled, grabbing your hand and tugging you towards the house. “I did.”

[autumnsup]

Riding on the heels of my Mandy Slade appreciation post from yesterday, I had to drop in a few quotes from another blog I discovered recently that goes into depth about Toni Collette's performance. I don't know if I agree with every point the blogger made, but they certainly provided some interesting parallels and contrasts with previous analysis on the characters of Velvet Goldmine.

"[A]ll the praise in the world for Collette’s performance shouldn’t overlook how rare so many of the integral features to Mandy Slade are within her filmography. How many characters can you think of where her beauty and sexuality were this central? How often has she traipsed around bathed in so many riches and ornaments? When has she highlighted so many angles and colors to a person without quite revealing their core, the same way one might try to look through a jewel that’s too bright and multifaceted for anyone to comfortably say they’ve seen the center of it? I think my favorite sequence of hers, purely for how Haynes films her, is Jack Fairy’s 1969 New Year’s Party, where she talks about meeting Brian for the first time. She looks fantastic, yet she's so absorbed into Brian when she sees him that it becomes almost impossible to tell them apart for the rest of the party. Even for most of their sex scene, their bodies combine in a transfixing whorl of light and flesh that only occasionally clarifies whose body is whose. Toni Collette is fucking hot, and to see her beauty be so central to her character and so magnificently showcased should be more common than it is."

"Mandy goes through some of the most overt shifts in her appearance of anyone in Brian’s entourage, yet we never really get the sort of dominating style or private interiority that would suggest some core version of herself. Compared to Curt Wild’s feral, wounded, livewire attitudes or Brian Slade’s alien glam and aching wants, it’s not clear what Mandy really desires. She seems perfectly content with being a prized bauble in her husband’s collection of personalities, as she slips oh so comfortably in and out of her poses and costumes. Even in her unvarnished present, as Mandy candidly sifts through her memories, it’d be doing a disservice to Velvet Goldmine’s theories on presentation and self to ascribe this version of her as an ultimately truer, deeper woman. Rather than over-elucidating a hidden depth or thru-line of personality, Collette digs into each scene while working with the heightened cinematic grammars Haynes is using to meet her halfway. Sometimes Collette evokes a fiercely specific sense of who Mandy is, while in other moments she simply drains her face and lets the image of Mandy standing in a black void speak for itself."

"Toni Collette is the kind of actress with a dozen performances anyone could confidently pick as the very best in her career and feel absolutley justified in their choice. I still imagine her harrowing, wretched Annie in Hereditary will be my go-to for a while. But the absolute rarity of the sort of character work she does in Velvet Goldmine - blessedly freed from doing rescue work or needing to fully flesh out a character, and instead asked to preserve mystery, beauty, and wit across multiple timelines - makes it stand out in the best of ways. For my money, this is still the best film she's ever been in, and ranks among the most creative uses of her talents. Mandy Slade is an absolute gem, and I hope Collette will get another chance to play in this kind of sandbox again."

Source: https://href.li/?http://thefilmexperience.net/blog/2021/7/2/1998-toni-collette-in-velvet-goldmine.html

@25yearsofvelvetgoldmine

[snakesinsocks2005]

I’m so curious about your specific interpretation of Thor as someone who hyperfixated so hard on marvel at one point, especially the first two Thor movies for some reason. What is your opinion on the Thor movies actually, being as you seem to consume the animated series and comics too!

Ough believe it or not there was once a time I had very little idea about marvels comics, and solely fixated on the movies, and that's where my initial love for thor came from!

I still very much to this day Adore and wholeheartedly appreciate the first two thor movies (as admittedly boring Dark World was-) the amount of D e t a i l and work went into the costume design and the cgi and the sets and the. God just the everything... was Sooo well done. Chefs kiss.

Thor ragnarok, when it first came out in 2017? I think it was? I actually really liked! It was and still is a solid and fun movie. However looking back im kinda bitter at how it and taika kinda put the first domino (atleast in my opinion) in the downfall of the mcu.

The complete 180 on the dialogue, the writing off on sif and the w3, really just taking anything and everything thor ever had before like his family his friends his hammer his HAIR his eye his planet his culture his.well I could go on. And reading interviews on how taika thought of the previous movies and comics put a bad taste in my mouth, it was real clear he had little to no respect for the original (And Original) material, and how he was just making it more enjoyable for him specifically, no matter how it was planned to be in the start. Impulsive with good intentions middle english speaking mcu thor I miss you so much,,

I've grown up watching various marvel animated shows on Disney xd (rip) such as ultimate spider-man, hulk and the agents of smash, guardians of the galaxy, and my favourite of course Avengers assemble. After disney xd's TV channel poofed off into the void, I had to delve deeper into the mcu to get my marvel fix, and that worked for a good while. Until it was clear marvel was on a steep downslope (after endgame I kinda lost interest, I've kinda stopped keeping up with the mcu completely after quantumania and multiverse of madness. Sigh. I reckon wandavision was the last top quality thing theyve put out)

Re and rerewatching marvel shows has helped me regain interest with marvels characters, with that plain to see with thor especially (the latter half of the fourth and fifth seasons of aa im totally ignoring, seeing as how its desperately trying to mush itself into the mcus continuity sespite making No sense and just being kinda :///)

I've since then taken a greater interest in the comics, despite having no easy resources to read through any completely other than small snippets I happen to find (most of the comic pages I've seen I've reblogged on here lol)

And man!! There's such an appeal to love a character from a specific source and find out there's possibly hundreds of versions of him out there with different writers, story directions, and art styles with unique yet recognisable designs!!! (Herald of thunder from what I've seen of you you are GORGEOUS.)

As for my specific interpretation of thor and marvel overall, it's quite alot of my own indulgence and preferences sksjf. Mixing what I liked from parts of the mcu, the animated shows and the comics heaps of lore/s, it's basically a big hoge-poge au of mine.

Thor is both classified as an Alien and God because why can't he be both? There's elements to him that are very very different to humans biologically (hyper density, more efficient senses, inhuman physical capabilities, glowing eyes, glittering blood, no finger prints, etc etc) with mystic (able to sense and 'see' different energies, everything to due to his asgardian Allspeak ability, able to surive in space with no air) and asgards incredibly advanced it looks like magic tech (mjolnir!!!!!!) With lots of things a mix of the three (his ability to harness storms, lightning in particular (probably the best idea taika put in that film was having thor have magic on his own with mjolnir only serving to harness and focus it)

There's lots of other details I could write but Man is this getting long lmao

[obscurecharactershowdown]

Group E Round 1

[image ID: the first image is a black and white picture of Akama, a Japanese man with short black hair, a bandana or scarf tied around his neck, a long sleeve shirt or jacket, holding what appears to be a small glass of alcohol. the second image is of No Significant Harassment, a shadowy figure standing behind a sleeping pink-red, fox-like creature. their green hands seem to be holding up the floating creature. end ID]

Akama

Look, I'm a big Dostoevsky fan and when reading "The Idiot" I didn't like Rogozhin one bit. But watching the Japanese adaptation and the new/different version of his character Akama? Suddenly I understood why Nastasya/Taeko was willing to go to him. Look he's a little crazy and also definitely bisexual. Like very bisexual. I think if him, Taeko, and Kameda got together it would be the world's worst trouple but also incredibly powerful and great. Who talks to his love rival and suddenly go "swap with me your charm even though mine is very fancy and expensive and yours isnt and it will be sign of our brotherhood and connection and also now you have to meet my mother and wow she likes you and also i'm going to try to kill you but won't be able to do it and even though you know that I want to kill you you'll refuse to think less of me and now i'm going to kill the woman we're both in love with and you and i are going to spend the whole night up together taking turns watching her body and you're going to ask me to go into detail about how i killed her and you also knew i would kill her and wow does the fact that I was able to kill her but not you prove that I loved her more or less than how much i loved you and I know i've just damned myself to prison but please don't leave me until the morning and you're so so good so much that Taeko was scared to ruin you but i don't care if i ruin you too but also you're a lamb and you need to be careful about wolves like me and even though I killed the woman you love you're still lying next to me under all these blankets because there's a blizzard out and we have to keep the room cold to keep her body from decomposing and smelling because she looks so beautiful and you should go look at her too when the sun comes up and wow my life is worse for having met you but i can't curse you in any way because you are so so good." anyways i'm normal about him

No Significant Harassment

They're just a silly little guy. A jokester. Significant harassment if you will. Anyway, a more in depth run down: They're a city sized supercomputer built by a Buddhist adjacent society to figure out how to transcend the 'Great Cycle' (semi-metaphorical cycle of death and rebirth) in a safer way than the previous method (submerging oneself in the 'void sea' which is a mysterious golden liquid that dissolves whatever it touches). Despite being built for this express purpose NSH never really shows a pressing interest in ascension, even cracking jokes about those who are still looking for a solution. Whether this is due to indifference, dislike of, or humor to cope with being unable to ascend is not clear and really up to interpretation. Example: NSH: I wish them super good luck in that endeavor. How is it going to happen? Have the overseers gnaw through bedrock until their entire can crashes down in the void sea? BSM: Please be respectful when speaking of the Void Sea. Grey Wind, where did you hear this? CW: I really shouldn't say. He's going to attempt some sort of breeding program. Thought you might want to know. NSH: Haha with the slimers, lizards and etceteras? Surely the answer was in a lizard skull all along! He's very flippant, but does care very intensely for those close to him. NSH: Moon? It's me again. NSH: I do not know if you are receiving these. Please signal in any way you can. NSH: I need to talk to you. I need to know you're okay. NSH: … NSH: Its difficult for us to assist you over this distance. NSH: Even more difficult for us to do anything in the midst of these tantrums. NSH: Were going to try everything that we can. NSH: Just hold on a little longer. (Context for previous convo: They genetically engineered a super organism of a slugcat (the species you play as in Rain World) to help reset his coworker/sibling after her collapse and restart her systems. He was so desperate to fix her that he accidentally messed up the slugcat's (Hunter) genetic code and as a result it became riddle with the Rot (relatively similar to aggressive cancer) :( which parallels his other coworker/siblings condition who also has the rot. ) He canonically uses he/they pronouns too! Nonbinary swag! NSH has major internet troll vibes. He has sent a data pearl of "something distasteful" to his neighbors on several(?) occasions and causes chaos. If he had access to the wider internet he'd probably be an influencer So…yeah! Vote NSH this website likes the allure of heavy machinery and stuff like that so… there you go. Kind of a blorbo. End post.

[oceanera12]

Not sure if this still is going, or if this has been done, but could you have authors note/behind the scenes thinking on False's chapter from Built Family?

HI EP!!! Ignore that you sent this a long, long, long time ago it's fine I'm slow I know--

Yes, it's still going, and yes. I can do False's chapter(s).

Once again, to anyone who wants to read the chapter:

There you go. Now, on to the breakdown!

False's chapter, I knew from the start, was going to be long. Previous Hermits had gotten a bit of backstory, but not to the extent that False did. We didn't see Xisuma's people wiped out. We didn't see Joe's full rampage as Herobrine. We didn't see Mumbo's full work at Protech. Heck, we didn't even see Cle's server get wiped out by Protech. But the Watcher's wiping out False's server felt too important to just summarize or have happen off screen.

I had a few ideas for False, but I knew I wanted her to be a fighter.

I was originally going to have False and her Mom be a survival duo. Single Mom and her assassin daughter against the entire server. And while I enjoyed the idea, I decided against it. Not sure why but the adoptive fathers' angle just fit better with the vibe I wanted to do with False.

On a note of False's Dads, I would like to clarify: Sym and Gerrick were not romantically involved with each other in any way. Gerrick was his right-hand man, but Sym is ace in my head. Both see False as their adoptive daughter and are co-parenting but not romantically involved.

False had probably the most rushed introduction, but then had this really long, "Oh no, everyone is getting killed by winged demon/eldritch horrors" and, I'll be completely honest: that was not my intention at the start. I knew I wanted to show at least part of the server's destruction, but it just. Kept. Going.

I wanted people to hate the Watchers. I wanted to address the "some writers have the Watchers as redeemable/some of them are good or at the very least, redeemable." This version of the Watchers: Not redeemable. Yeah, we know they did something bad to Xisuma and Void but it's very vague as what exactly happened to them. I wanted to paint a very clear picture of: "These people are bad and 100% deserve what X is about to bring upon them."

I wanted to show that Watchers are not invincible, but it is very hard to actually kill them. Honestly, the only reason these players were able to kill as many Watchers as they did was because they have been fighting for years. In False's case, her entire life. These are professional killers and most of them were wiped out by five of these things. The only reason any of them survived was because Xisuma and company showed up.

It was at that point that I knew I had to split the chapter into two, partially because of how long it was and partially because the moment

False staying on the server wasn't really planned either. But, I quickly realized that, at that moment, she was grieving. She had accepted that she was going to die. The two people who cared about her the most were dead and she was going to follow them. But now, she wasn't dead. And she wasn't sure what to do.

Xisuma was the only person who could reach out to her (Cleo could have done it as well but seeing as she wasn't there at the moment--) and understand what it was like to lose everything you cared about.

Originally, I wanted to show more of the "hubs between worlds" but I didn't have time for it. I debated if False needed new clothes, but determined that she would have had more militaristic gear, not her Minecraft skin. The coat being both Sym's sniper and a piece of clothing was a last minute addition, but I didn't want False walking around with a sniper for a few reasons.

The main one being that I didn't feel like she would heal with it because she' never take it off, keeping her in the anarchy mindset. A knife is fine, because it is small, easy to forget. A sniper? Not so much.

Miscommunication! Not just the only form of drama for rom-coms, but also between friends and family, lol. I knew False would never have the courage to ask to stay. She had to wait for an invite.

... Which the Hermits forgot to give. A common mistake in their earlier days, but they get better.

I can't think of anything else but this note turned out a lot like False's arc.

Long.

[denimbex1986]

'“The Giggle” has been. The outcome: Ncuti Gatwa IS the Doctor! AND David Tennant IS ALSO the Doctor!

Well, people said they wanted a multi-Doctor story, I guess.

So what’s happened, what does it mean, and will anyone ever get to read the original version of this article that I wrote in an extremely broad German accent?

In the final act of 60th anniversary special “The Giggle”, David Tennant’s Fourteenth Doctor was shot with a massive laser by The Toymaker (Neil Patrick Harris) and started to regenerate. However, the regeneration energy disappeared, and the Doctor asked his friends to pull. The Fifteenth Doctor (Ncuti Gatwa) emerged as a new incarnation, leaving the Fourteenth alive and well and slightly confused. This is a ‘bigeneration’.

What the Flip Is a Bigeneration?

It’s apparently a Time Lord myth, and like many good Time Lord myths we’ve never heard of it before. It is essentially a regeneration where the old and new incarnation both survive to interact, the old one gets to grow old and – potentially – regenerate into the new one at a later date? Not 100% sure on that last bit, but it can be inferred from 15’s saying to 14 “I’m fine because you fix yourself”.

Showrunner Russell T Davies has suggested, in the commentary for this episode (available to stream on BBC iPlayer in the UK) that this concept might have spread throughout the history of the show, explaining fan theories such as the one surrounding Season 6B (the idea of 6B being that, after Patrick Troughton’s Second Doctor disappears into the void in “The War Games”, he doesn’t immediately regenerate into the Third, and ends up being used as an unofficial operative for shadowy Time Lord affairs – I know, imagine!). To be clear: this is not something Davies has confirmed for the future of the show, but it was mentioned as a possible way to have previous actors return to the role.

Is There a Precedent For This or What?

Absolutely not, no. However, there wasn’t a precedent for the first regeneration in 1966, which was a workaround prompted by the ill health of First Doctor actor William Hartnell, and fans eventually managed to cope with that one.

Two Doctors: No Peril?

Well, there wasn’t a huge amount of peril before, was there? Previously, the Doctor regenerated and we said goodbye to the old incarnation (barring multi-Doctor specials) and hello to the new. That’s still the case, really, so the actual threat level is pretty similar: we always know when a regeneration is coming so it’s not a huge surprise. The difference is that the previous incarnation is still cutting about somewhere.

What Does It All Mean for the Whoniverse?

Ah, I see you’ve adopted the official branding. Well, we don’t know the full ramifications yet. We don’t know if Ncuti Gatwa’s Fifteenth Doctor will regenerate or bigenerate. We don’t know if David Tennant is on speed dial for future series finales. What we know is there is potential here, and if we’re honest it could go either way.

Bigeneration felt like a farewell to Doctor Who (2005 – 2023). It needed a rest. The Fourteenth Doctor looked like an older Tenth Doctor, who brought down a government by saying “Don’t you think she looks tired?” in his first episode. Doctor Who (2023 – ) is still the Doctor Who that started in 1963 and restarted in 2005 (with a delightful barrage of references to demonstrate that), but it’s also a new start.

It’s quite a symbolic gesture to mark a significant change, which is a bold move given that the one thing Doctor Who fans cope with worse than change is symbolism.

The positives are the sense of closure it can give to the previous incarnation, who gets to hear the new one say “Don’t worry, I’ve got this”. There’s a support system in place, a reduction in post-regenerative trauma. The previous incarnations get to play their age in scenes like Tales from the TARDIS. There’s increased potential for stories. Also, if apparently set-in-stone aspects of the series can be challenged – and with the Time Lords currently dead again – who knows what that means for history?

But Does It Undermine Ncuti Gatwa’s Doctor?

Maybe. The worry is that – while the intention is for fans to fill in the deliberate (Curator-sized) gaps – the presence of past incarnations can loom over the current Doctor.

You remember the pressure on Matt Smith when he took over from David Tennant? That was without the in-story possibility of Tennant turning up again. Ncuti Gatwa is clearly positioned as a new start and the future in “The Giggle”, and the hope is clearly that the show will move forward and not have to look over its shoulder.

The expanded universe spin-off series that are expected to arrive will also provide a training ground for potential future showrunners. There’s clearly a plan in place to ensure that Doctor Who is a long-term concern.

However, we’ve just had the return of David Tennant and Catherine Tate as the Doctor and Donna. These characters are still around. We know that ‘Mad Aunty Mel’ (the returning Bonnie Langford, reprising her role as Mel after her brief two-series tenure as companion in the late Eighties) is back in Ncuti Gatwa’s first series, and surely the Fourteenth Doctor and Donna will be asked about.

Essentially we’re in new territory here, and at the start of something. Unlike “The Timeless Child”, which came in midway through Chris Chibnall’s time as showrunner, we know Ncuti Gatwa has at least two series to go and explore these ideas (as opposed to Chibnall having one COVID-abridged series in which to wrap everything up).

The gamble is whether or not folk will accept Gatwa as the Doctor to the extent that the past is remembered fondly and warmly but still very much considered The Past. The worry is, having brought Tennant and Tate back for these three specials and allowing them to be both nostalgia and a foundation, the audience that is brought with them pines for them in their absence. The new cast is haunted by the spectre of the old. Ncuti Gatwa’s era is hobbled by its opening gambit.

Or, alternatively, we might never hear about bigeneration ever again.

So There Might Be Absolutely Nothing to Worry About?

In the context of Doctor Who, ja.'

[a-canker-in-a-hedge]

the people (read: like 4 of you) have spoken! musicals only jfj playlist incoming!! brace for impact!!!

curator's notes below the cut, if you're interested in that sort of thing. otherwise, have fun! maybe i'll drop the frmc one next!

Into the Fire, The Scarlet Pimpernel

I think we as a society are sleeping on The Scarlet Pimpernel the musical, it's bonkers. This one's from act 1, where the titular Scarlet Pimpernel (arguably the first masked vigilante in English literature) and his buddies take off to rescue poor trapped aristocrats from the French Revolution. In a lot of ways, it's best read in conversation with Les Mis (the original novel was written by a baroness, it's reactionary as shit), but here I think it expresses an enthusiastic (and to be clear, Bad) English nationalism that speaks to a young JFJ and precisely what he thinks he's getting out of joining the navy. He is Not Correct, as we shall see.

2. Glory, Pippin

I think this one speaks for itself. Patina Miller as Pippin's Leading Player brings a terrifying, seductive irony and contrast to this number, contrasting the horror of war with the rhetoric that convinces people to go die in the name of the king. The narrative here is I think pretty clear; this is what it's actually like to nearly die in battle. It's bizarre and dizzying and confusing and kind of silly, and you'll only make sense of it later when you can build a performance out of the experience.

3. The I Love You Song, The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Oh James. If only mommy and daddy loved you. This one breaks my heart. Neglected children will do a lot to fill that void. This song provides context to the previous two. He wants to be loved, and he confuses love with attention and praise and power. And it will eventually kill him. Again too we see the theming of fantasy as a narrative device. James makes up stories about himself, for himself, contextualizing and recontextualizing James Fitzjames to suit his needs, whatever they may be.

4. The Last One You'd Expect, A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder

Men Will Tell Such Lies About Themselves. Gentlemen's Guide is so funny, everyone should go give the whole album a listen. I like the conclusion of this one as the high point of JFJ's pre-Terror success. Specifically, I like the struggle to stay ahead of the tidal wave he's built himself that's rolling up on his heels. It can't possibly catch up with you if you keep moving, right?

5. Where I Want to Be, Chess

CHESS THE MUSICAL BABEYYYY I AM NOTHING IF NOT ON BRAND. This is a pair with the previous song, an internal monologue as opposed to the external perception of success we've seen previously. The emptiness, the sense of loss of self, the fear and paranoia of living with one's lies, sacrifices, and the harm one's own ambition has caused those around you. It's also got those big stupid melodramatic violins. Fun Fact! The score for Chess was written by Benny and Bjorn from ABBA! I also think JFJ would have really enjoyed Mamma Mia. This is also the Josh Groban concert version, partially bc if I had to pick someone to be jfj's singing voice in the disney animated Terror, it would be him.

6. 30/90, tick, tick...BOOM!

Oh shit death is coming for you king, You Are Running Out Of Time. I feel like this one speaks for itself, if instead of grey hairs you could see the blood at your hairline. Well, not yet. But soon.

7. Is This What You Call Love?, Passion

Speaking of getting slept on, Passion my beloved. This is the most underrated Sondheim musical imo, and is one of the few songs on this playlist where I had a specific scene in mind when I added it. Yes it is that one. Songs to get punched in the face by your captain to.

8. Totally Fucked, Spring Awakening

Do I even need to say? You get it. We understand each other. Yes. This was the toughest one to fit in aesthetically with the soundscape of this playlist, but I think it works where it is.

9. You Gotta Die Sometime, Falsettos

Oh Shit Death Is Coming For You King. You Are Running Out Of Time. This is the 2nd song from a William Flynn show on this bad boy, which feels appropriate to me, somehow. I can't explain it, it's vibes. I think this song really gives JFJ a beat to breathe, to sit in the inevitability of his fate, and a bitter kind of acceptance. It works for me.

10. Any Kind of Dead Person, Ghost Quartet

And now we're having fun with it! This is the only Dave Malloy tune on here, and it's also one of the most lighthearted. As has happened several times before, this song is in direct conversation with its predecessor. You need to keep going somehow, even if you're only walking to the end. Very Samuel Beckett-core, now that I think about it.

11. I Don't Know How To Love Him, Jesus Christ Superstar

We understand each other. You understand why I have done this. I picked the movie version because I like the orchestration better. I have no other notes.

12. Come to My Garden/Lift Me Up, The Secret Garden

This is the most distant parallel line in this whole playlist, but this one is in conversation with The I Love You Song. Reconciliation with an absent parent, with the wounds of the child. They are calling you on. Make peace with yourself. We are almost there.

13. Love To Me, The Light in the Piazza

Please excuse Matthew Morrison's bad Italian accent. I love this song so much. There's a note in Sondheim's collected lyrics about simplicity, and I think this song embodies it. This song is so much about seeing someone for who they are, and it shows in the lyrics, in the lack of both musical ornamentation and complex text, even in the delivery. If I may have one more direct parallel, this song is speaking to 'more than god loves them.'

14. Finale: Make Our Garden Grow, Candide

Let me preface this by saying that this is not a fix-it ending. James does not live at this time. With that being said, I picked this one for two reasons. One, the resonance sonically and lyrically with the previous two songs, and two, the theme of letting go of ambition/expectation/demand. The acceptance of imperfection. The resolution into the simplicity of the body/existence/the reality of one materiality and mortality. There is no Eden to return to. We have only each other. JFJ has the only peaceful death we see onscreen, and for me, this song resonates with that. The release on that last note. 10/10 thank you Mr. Bernstein. That is all there is no more, thank you for coming to my ted talk. Goodnight <3

[meimi-haneoka]

I was just craaaaaaazy when Sakura said "la personne la plus chère à mon cœur" in front of everyone! I was so excited to see syaoran's face on the following page (all red and shy maybe 🤗 and bam! No syaoran 😆)

I still feel that the French and Spanish version have a deeper meaning (even the Portuguese one) compared to "favorite person" in English. What about the Japanese version?

Thanks

XOXO

Sorry for the delay, anon!

That was really a powerful scene, wasn't it? And I guess I can understand your "disappointment" with not seeing Syaoran's reaction, but -sorry to say it, I'm a SyaoSaku fan too but ever since my preferences re-balanced somewhere else I also have been more grounded about it- that wasn't *really* the focus of that scene.... The scene was all centered on Sakura and her wish to help her "sister". And that she was going to put everything she could on the table, even a joined effort with her own most important person (whom we know would follow her anywhere. Especially cause he'd feel more at ease that way, being by her side and being able to protect her when needed).

Besides, even if they showed us his reaction, it would've been pretty much as serious as the one we can see in the previous page. Because when things are serious, dramatic, there's no room for blushing or embarrassment. Syaoran won't be a blushing mess forever and those two REALLY came a long way from the period when Clear Card started....the absence of the blushing from both of them just goes to show how comfortable and secure they feel in their love now. There's no need to be embarrassed, no need to hide, no need to search for the right words to define their relationship....everything just feels natural and Sakura, fired up by the mission she just embarked on, knew her "family" would've received ad accepted her words.

Also allow me this but, if CLAMP inserted a half-comical scene with Syaoran being a blushing mess for what Sakura said (blushing scenes cause some degree of comedy, in a way), it would've been completely out of place. Someone just connected all the dots and found out that the pain she used to feel and her constant instinct to look for someone was because her most important person rewrote their reality and got deleted from it. Got deleted from her memories too, leaving her with an immense void. Not only that, but she also found out that the family she thought she belonged to isn't really her biological family. Akiho's certainties, her entire world is literally crumbling under her feet and Sakura spends her time reassuring her because she knows how she must be feeling, there's no room for comedy....

For the question about the terminology, I guess I ended up answering it in my own tumblr post... The Japanese original version used the super famous "my most important person" and I think it's *very clear* what Sakura means with this one. "Favorite person" is close but not the same, and I guess the French and Spanish ver. might get closer, too bad that they failed in another very important aspect of that sentence, which was to maintain the same terminology even when talking about Akiho's side, to convey that Sakura was aware that the level of importance of this mysterious person is the same that Syaoran got for her. The JP used the same term, and those languages should've done the same...😅

[abnomi]

here is a less flashy version of this post just in case anyone needs it ^___^

💥 ADHD 💥

STIMMING

Turbo's constantly moving around in some way; he's a very expressive character! even as King Candy, he can't seem to conceal his frequent giggling. it's a big habit of his; he seems to do it involuntarily to regulate himself, including when he's nervous or uncomfortable.

he seems to display other repetitive behaviors as well, like doing his iconic thumbs-up pose, sticking out his tongue, or hopping around gleefully. he is but a jovial court jester..

i personally like to think that his phrases, "Turbo-tastic!" and "Have some candy!" are vocal stims of his, although i equally really love the interpretation that these (and the aforementioned stims) are tics :-]

another headcanon; i think it would make a lot of sense for him to have an oral fixation of some sort (ignoring the whole sigmund freud part of the term ermm...); just lots of biting, chewing, needing to have something in his mouth. It would align with the whole idea that he smokes, too

HYPERACTIVITY

we can clearly see throughout the film that Turbo has a lot of energy, made abundantly clear by his mannerisms and general behavior. he's constantly moving, using exaggerated expressions and gestures to communicate + express himself. He's one of the most animated and bouncy characters in the movie, next to Vanellope! it's silly how a character not very grounded in reality is such a threat, but i suppose that's what makes him so threatening in the first place...

another factor in this is how he is very adrenaline-seeking, craving activities that give him a rush (sugar rush...😂😂). more on that in a bit!!

HYPERFIXATION

Turbo's fixation with winning is all-consuming for him; it's an obsession. he doesn't appear to care about much else, if anything besides it. this could be interpreted as a hyperfixation for him (or special interest if ur all about that autism lifestyle), as it overtakes all of his focus and impedes every process of his mind.

it's clear that racing is much more than a passion for him, and while that fact is due to how he was programmed, it's a major character trait of his regardless that could be correlated to neurodivergence.

HYPERFOCUS

There seems to be a big theme of "all or nothing" when it comes to Turbo. he will either be fully dedicated to something or brush it aside without a second thought. it can't be denied that he fully wraps himself up in what he wants, whether it's a conflict he can't let go of or a new pursuit he's hungrily chasing after. 

ultimately, his dedication varies depending on if it is relevant to him and his interests or not, but this aspect of him still shares patterns with neurodivergent thought processes.

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

Seeing as he has a tendency to cheat in his use of code to spawn in whatever his heart desires, it can be assumed that this could do with Turbo wanting instant gratification to fill that bitter, empty void inside of him. while this could simply be brushed aside as greed and his belief that he is obligated to have access to whatever he wants, this trait is consistent with his generally dopamine-seeking behavior and wanting to be instantly rewarded by his actions. His obsession with needing to feel good directly relates to his need for another buzz, constantly after the next rush. (a sugar rush if you will☺☺☺)

ADRENALINE-SEEKING

Closely related to the previous speculation, Turbo always seems to be chasing his next high. he loves the thrill of action and being surrounded by crowds of people below him. it's why his big thing is racing! people cheer him on, he can do whatever he wants, he can go really fast and look cool..

it's possible that a big aspect of why he does this is to distract himself from any kind of pain, because pain = vulnerability. bro does NOT know how to independently cope with his own problems.. HE MAD AS HELLLLL!!! 😂😂

STRUGGLE WITH SELF CARE

(i know this is reaching but bear with me... 🐻) going off of his appearance and tendency to make poor decisions, it can be gathered that this man lacks skill in the self care department. his yellowing teeth and sunken eyes not only serve to complement his design, but also give way to the idea that he neglects himself in favor for whatever weird scheme he's up to.

of course, Turbo does prioritize himself above everyone else, but he doesn't strike me as the type to care much about how others think he smells. him being a bother to anyone isn't a concern of his. he cares about whatever gets him the most praise and attention from as many people as possible, which is winning and racing. Who cares about how clean he is when he's up on a podium holding a shiny, golden trophy, anyway?

It's likely that he had to step his game up when he went under disguise as king candy, which is why he looks well-groomed in comparison to his more corpse-like appearance. Ugly hoe. it can also be assumed that he's had more time to focus on himself because everyone loves him without question... Well, except for Vanellope, but who cares about her, right?

also, i know he makes a condescending comment to Ralph about how bad his breath smells, but it's made abundantly clear that Turbo is a massive hypocrite. his comment doesn't erase the possibility that he has suffered from such "halitosis" as well.

💥 ANXIETY 💥

GENERAL ANXIOUS BEHAVIOR

i know, i know, this could technically be chalked up to be "Turbo is nervously giggling and shit because he's scared of getting caught," but guys. g

even in the flashback scene, we can see how easily stressed he can become in an alarmingly short period of time. he is extremely insecure, therefore i am led to believe he is not only emotionally dysregulated, but also by extension, anxiety ridden.

yes, this is purely speculative, but who's to say that he wasn't like this before? being high-strung and intense are significant facets of his personality consistently portrayed throughout the film. as long as he is getting exactly what he wants, he is happy; the moment he loses even a blip of control, however, he immediately grows extremely tense.

if Turbo wasn't anxious about his disguise as King Candy before, he was anxious about how much attention he was receiving on a given day. if not that, then he'd be anxious over how he presents himself. He hates how he can't control how other people perceive him, which is why he is constantly trying to act like he's better than he is.

its why he justifies his behavior to himself, proudly making others refer to him as the "rightful ruler" of sugar rush and relishing in the attention of his countless underlings. Any secure and stable person would NOT ACT LIKE THIS!!!!😭😭😭

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

As we can see a handful of times on screen, Turbo's instinct to protect himself is very easily activated.

 his fear manifests in anger and aggression. we can see at multiple points how easy it is to upset him or fluster him; his anger is one side of the same coin, the opposite end being his fear and paranoia.

Going off of this point, have you noticed that Turbo is either satisfied or furious without much of an in-between? how the second something isn't under his manipulation, he lashes out and fights back? I'm led to believe that this is how he responds to fear (AAUAAYAUUUUGGHHH 🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡). This guy is so against the idea of being vulnerable, that even when afraid, he will utilize violence to regain his dominance over the situation at hand.

CONTROL + PARANOIA

Turbo's always trying to writhe or fight his way out of uncomfortable situations, unable to exist outside of his comfort zone for seconds at a time.

his defensive, paranoid, and controlling behavior are all reflections of how deeply insecure this man is. He feels such an intense need for everything to go exactly how he expects it to go that the moment he senses any kind of threat, he instantly jumps to defend himself and what he feels that he has "earned," regardless of whether there truly is a threat or not.

this could potentially be a coping mechanism for his anxiety and sense of stability; can't forget to mention how territorial he is!! he jumps to conclusions about what others' intentions are before they even get a chance to reply, as seen with his first encounter with Ralph in the movie. 

the racer is so internally discombobulated that he seeks any sense of stability on his environment, including on those around him. his sense of self is so warped that he copes with constant distraction; being under the spotlight, being actively racing, having to be showered with attention, having others make him feel good because he doesn't know how to do it for himself. he needs to feel like everything is under control, lest everything falls apart.

"...if there's ONE thing I can't abide, it's ANYTHING out of order!"

💥 NPD 💥

INFLATED SENSE OF SELF IMPORTANCE

Turbo's most in-your-face trait above all else. It's made more than crystal clear in every scene he's in that his arrogance is a determining factor in how he interacts with others. This is exactly what drives him to desperately crave admiration, to chase after others he's envious of because he thinks he is obligated to take what they have.

he seems to genuinely think he is entitled to get whatever he wants, just because he is inherently "special" or "better" than everyone else. Why else would he have made himself a king, a step above princess?

EXCESSIVE NEED FOR ADMIRATION

Turbo's self worth is COMPLETELY dependent on the opinions of children and teenagers. I think i don't need to say any more than that, but i will. (Evil).

As cartoonishly massive as his ego is, i think that it's fair to assume that Turbo has a very unstable sense of self, distorting his perception of his own worth down with it. his near-constant flaunting and need to be the best is a dead giveaway to his deeply-ridden self-doubt. The foundation of his stability is built around how "good" he is (at racing and winning), how powerful he is, whether or not he is being prioritized above everyone else, whether or not he is the absolute best, etc. etc.

The racer outright manipulates others to shower him with admiration and undeserved appreciation. He is incapable of forming a true sense of internal value, instead heavily and codependently relying on others to form it for him. if he isn't the best, he may as well just be nothing.

INTENSE JEALOUSY

He reacts so severely to what he perceives as others taking away what is rightfully his that it only goes to solidify my previous points even further. the second someone else is getting more attention than him, Turbo will bend over backwards to rip back the praise he believes he so rightly deserves.

being extremely competitive, he will one-up against anyone he thinks of as a threat, dedicating himself to taking them down to the best of his ability, and making sure they STAY down to top it all off.

INABILITY TO HANDLE CRITICISM

if we really dissect the entire one-off joke with Turbo insisting that his stolen pink castle is actually "salmon," along with all of his other domineering behaviors, we can garner that he is very persistent in how he wants others to view him. i wholeheartedly believe that this would translate into him not only being defensive over his supposed "ownership" of Sugar Rush, but also over himself and his own insecurities.

He needs to feel good about himself or else he will die and quite literally try to kill everyone.

LACK OF EMPATHY

He appears to have a fondness for making jokes in very poor taste. Turbo has a big sense of humor, but it's always at the expense of others. Be it a pun about a "fungeon," or jumping to protect himself with a joke about "hitting a guy with glasses," he has a tendency to take serious situations very lightly. It's not that he's unaware of the weight of it; he simply doesn't take it Seriously.

its admittedly impressive how he was able to feign empathy so well for Ralph; it goes to show how he is very capable of understanding that what he's doing is wrong, but ultimately does nothing to change his behavior because it doesn't impact him personally. 

i would like to honor this part of him, because even in the possible alternate path of a redemption arc, his struggle with empathy can be explored in a variety of interesting ways :-] he can understand complicated emotions and situations on an analytical level, but he doesn't feel for them unless it has to do with him specifically. (this obviously doesn't make him inherently evil, his ACTIONS make him evil)

💥 ASPD 💥

LACK OF REMORSE/GUILT

One of Turbo's core characteristics is just how far he is willing to go for his own self-interest with lack of regard for how it impacts everyone else. he has absolutely no concern for how anyone else feels besides himself, willing to go so far as to attempt to mutilate a 9-year-old to achieve his petty goals.

Turbo is shameless when it comes to how he goes about getting his way. While I'd like to believe he isn't fully incapable of feeling regret, he doesn't showcase feeling it in the movie itself. The most regret he'll feel is when he slips up and exposes himself. anything else is the fault of everyone else; he is untouchable in his eyes.

DECEITFUL TENDENCIES + LYING

Where do i even start with this one.

well, first of all, let's acknowledge the... erm, horse? in the room? 🐎😅(Please someone help me there is a horse in my room help helphel) being that Turbo went under disguise as King Candy for at least a decade. Even before this, there's a good chance that he's already had plenty of experience with lies and manipulation. i'd be willing to bet on this!!

one of his specialties is being proficient in manipulation, be it the code of games or the minds of people. theyre basically the same thing to him, anyway... I'm sure you all know the scene where he uses 16 manipulation tactics against Ralph and wins. this was Obviously not the first time he'd done this.

REPETITION OF HARMFUL BEHAVIORS

Time and time again, Turbo can't seem to help himself when it comes to poor decision-making. he never internalizes that his bad choices aren't JUST bad for others, but also for himself, continuing to escalate further and further into very dangerous behaviors until he literally dies.

Here's a list of bad decisions he has made! (at least, that we know of)

Pinning himself above his peers

Harassment + stalking

Carelessly charging through GCS with his car, endangering countless civilians

Attempting to take over a game that isn't his x2

Vehicular manslaughter

Implied mass murder + attempted murder, attempted mutilation

Mass endangerment

Breaking and entering, theft, usurpation, plagiarism

and more!!!!!!!

AND HE LEARNS FROM ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS!!! with some of the items listed here, he's attempted to do multiple times! Absolute buffoon.

RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR SAFETY OF SELF AND OTHERS

Considering how he was willing to charge into a game that wasn't his own with the awareness that it could permanently kill him, going as far as to recklessly crash into another car (albeit it's possible this was unintentional), it's easy to gather that he doesn't seem to consider anyone's safety at all in the spur of the moment.

IMPULSITIVITY

his impulsivity and disregard for safety both go hand-in-hand. When it gets to a certain point, Turbo's emotions will boil over and blow up in a cold rage, thus causing him to spiral and act on impulse, becoming a detrimental force to himself as well as everyone around him.

What's interesting is how much restraint he is capable of; he typically is very strategic in how he orchestrates his plans! but once he reaches his breaking point, he snaps and leaves all of his hard work behind in favor of something that calls for his immediate attention.

💥 ETC. 💥

extra tidbits i didnt have enough energy to fully delve into :-]

BPD

Fear of abandonment

Blurry sense of identity

Feelings of emptiness

Self destructive tendencies

Emotional instability

Explosive anger

ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)

He seems so infatuated with his own autonomy that he gets to the point of being resistant and defiant

Resisting against the rules of the world that he directly caused as a result of his own actions, being that one shouldn't "go Turbo."

Enjoys upsetting/getting a rise out of others. this is more speculative as i am going off of the assumption that he thinks pissing people off is funny, based on his other behavioral patterns. (cruel sense of humor, wanting to feel above others via control & manipulation, enjoyment of inflicting pain onto others)

Forcefully defends himself and refuses any kind of criticism

Lashes out when he feels slighted

Excessive persistence despite all odds, whether it's beneficial to him or not

ok bye!! thank you if you managed to read this far ^^ peace and love take care of yourself! all in all turbo is so neurodivergent ok please Okay <3 get this thing his meds

EVERY REASON (that i can think of) AS TO WHY TURBO/KING CANDY IS NEURODIVERGENT 💥💥

i would like to make a disclaimer first and foremost about the obvious, being that Turbo/King Candy is heavily implied to have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Very often, characters with these disorders are portrayed as villains, and Turbo is no exception to this. There's nothing wrong with antagonistic characters having said disorders, per se, but when the only representation available for people with these conditions are found in characters you're not supposed to root for, it can be really disheartening. i won't be erasing these parts of him because i feel it would be in poor taste to gloss over those core elements of who he is, but plz keep in mind that having any kind of personality disorder doesn't make anyone inherently evil!!!🌞 your ACTIONS make you, not your brain

Also if anyone has any suggestions or other ideas for his neurodiversity, i would love to hear them! please do share!! I LOVE PSYCHOANALYZING CHARACTERS AND HEARING OTHER PEOPLE PSYCHOANALYZE THEM !!!! YAY🎉 if u agree or disagree with any of my points I'd love to discuss them further :-]

without further ado... click read more to find out…😈 be ready for a lot of reaches

💥 ADHD 💥

STIMMING

Turbo's constantly moving around in some way; he's a very expressive character! even as King Candy, he can't seem to conceal his frequent giggling. it's a big habit of his; he seems to do it involuntarily to regulate himself, including when he's nervous or uncomfortable.

he seems to display other repetitive behaviors as well, like doing his iconic thumbs-up pose, sticking out his tongue, or hopping around gleefully. he is but a jovial court jester..

i personally like to think that his phrases, "Turbo-tastic!" and "Have some candy!" are vocal stims of his, although i equally really love the interpretation that these (and the aforementioned stims) are tics :-]

another headcanon; i think it would make a lot of sense for him to have an oral fixation of some sort (ignoring the whole sigmund freud part of the term ermm...); just lots of biting, chewing, needing to have something in his mouth. It would align with the whole idea that he smokes, too

HYPERACTIVITY

we can clearly see throughout the film that Turbo has a lot of energy, made abundantly clear by his mannerisms and general behavior. he's constantly moving, using exaggerated expressions and gestures to communicate + express himself. He's one of the most animated and bouncy characters in the movie, next to Vanellope! it's silly how a character not very grounded in reality is such a threat, but i suppose that's what makes him so threatening in the first place...

another factor in this is how he is very adrenaline-seeking, craving activities that give him a rush (sugar rush...😂😂). more on that in a bit!!

HYPERFIXATION

Turbo's fixation with winning is all-consuming for him; it's an obsession. he doesn't appear to care about much else, if anything besides it. this could be interpreted as a hyperfixation for him (or special interest if ur all about that autism lifestyle), as it overtakes all of his focus and impedes every process of his mind.

it's clear that racing is much more than a passion for him, and while that fact is due to how he was programmed, it's a major character trait of his regardless that could be correlated to neurodivergence.

HYPERFOCUS

There seems to be a big theme of "all or nothing" when it comes to Turbo. he will either be fully dedicated to something or brush it aside without a second thought. it can't be denied that he fully wraps himself up in what he wants, whether it's a conflict he can't let go of or a new pursuit he's hungrily chasing after. 

ultimately, his dedication varies depending on if it is relevant to him and his interests or not, but this aspect of him still shares patterns with neurodivergent thought processes.

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

Seeing as he has a tendency to cheat in his use of code to spawn in whatever his heart desires, it can be assumed that this could do with Turbo wanting instant gratification to fill that bitter, empty void inside of him. while this could simply be brushed aside as greed and his belief that he is obligated to have access to whatever he wants, this trait is consistent with his generally dopamine-seeking behavior and wanting to be instantly rewarded by his actions. His obsession with needing to feel good directly relates to his need for another buzz, constantly after the next rush. (a sugar rush if you will☺☺☺)

ADRENALINE-SEEKING

Closely related to the previous speculation, Turbo always seems to be chasing his next high. he loves the thrill of action and being surrounded by crowds of people below him. it's why his big thing is racing! people cheer him on, he can do whatever he wants, he can go really fast and look cool..

it's possible that a big aspect of why he does this is to distract himself from any kind of pain, because pain = vulnerability. bro does NOT know how to independently cope with his own problems.. HE MAD AS HELLLLL!!! 😂😂

STRUGGLE WITH SELF CARE

(i know this is reaching but bear with me... 🐻) going off of his appearance and tendency to make poor decisions, it can be gathered that this man lacks skill in the self care department. his yellowing teeth and sunken eyes not only serve to complement his design, but also give way to the idea that he neglects himself in favor for whatever weird scheme he's up to.

of course, Turbo does prioritize himself above everyone else, but he doesn't strike me as the type to care much about how others think he smells. him being a bother to anyone isn't a concern of his. he cares about whatever gets him the most praise and attention from as many people as possible, which is winning and racing. Who cares about how clean he is when he's up on a podium holding a shiny, golden trophy, anyway?

It's likely that he had to step his game up when he went under disguise as king candy, which is why he looks well-groomed in comparison to his more corpse-like appearance. Ugly hoe. it can also be assumed that he's had more time to focus on himself because everyone loves him without question... Well, except for Vanellope, but who cares about her, right?

also, i know he makes a condescending comment to Ralph about how bad his breath smells, but it's made abundantly clear that Turbo is a massive hypocrite. his comment doesn't erase the possibility that he has suffered from such "halitosis" as well.

💥 ANXIETY 💥

GENERAL ANXIOUS BEHAVIOR

i know, i know, this could technically be chalked up to be "Turbo is nervously giggling and shit because he's scared of getting caught," but guys. g

even in the flashback scene, we can see how easily stressed he can become in an alarmingly short period of time. he is extremely insecure, therefore i am led to believe he is not only emotionally dysregulated, but also by extension, anxiety ridden.

yes, this is purely speculative, but who's to say that he wasn't like this before? being high-strung and intense are significant facets of his personality consistently portrayed throughout the film. as long as he is getting exactly what he wants, he is happy; the moment he loses even a blip of control, however, he immediately grows extremely tense.

if Turbo wasn't anxious about his disguise as King Candy before, he was anxious about how much attention he was receiving on a given day. if not that, then he'd be anxious over how he presents himself. He hates how he can't control how other people perceive him, which is why he is constantly trying to act like he's better than he is.

its why he justifies his behavior to himself, proudly making others refer to him as the "rightful ruler" of sugar rush and relishing in the attention of his countless underlings. Any secure and stable person would NOT ACT LIKE THIS!!!!😭😭😭

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

As we can see a handful of times on screen, Turbo's instinct to protect himself is very easily activated.

 his fear manifests in anger and aggression. we can see at multiple points how easy it is to upset him or fluster him; his anger is one side of the same coin, the opposite end being his fear and paranoia.

Going off of this point, have you noticed that Turbo is either satisfied or furious without much of an in-between? how the second something isn't under his manipulation, he lashes out and fights back? I'm led to believe that this is how he responds to fear (AAUAAYAUUUUGGHHH 🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡). This guy is so against the idea of being vulnerable, that even when afraid, he will utilize violence to regain his dominance over the situation at hand.

CONTROL + PARANOIA

Turbo's always trying to writhe or fight his way out of uncomfortable situations, unable to exist outside of his comfort zone for seconds at a time.

his defensive, paranoid, and controlling behavior are all reflections of how deeply insecure this man is. He feels such an intense need for everything to go exactly how he expects it to go that the moment he senses any kind of threat, he instantly jumps to defend himself and what he feels that he has "earned," regardless of whether there truly is a threat or not.

this could potentially be a coping mechanism for his anxiety and sense of stability; can't forget to mention how territorial he is!! he jumps to conclusions about what others' intentions are before they even get a chance to reply, as seen with his first encounter with Ralph in the movie. 

the racer is so internally discombobulated that he seeks any sense of stability on his environment, including on those around him. his sense of self is so warped that he copes with constant distraction; being under the spotlight, being actively racing, having to be showered with attention, having others make him feel good because he doesn't know how to do it for himself. he needs to feel like everything is under control, lest everything falls apart.

"...if there's ONE thing I can't abide, it's ANYTHING out of order!"

💥 NPD 💥

INFLATED SENSE OF SELF IMPORTANCE

Turbo's most in-your-face trait above all else. It's made more than crystal clear in every scene he's in that his arrogance is a determining factor in how he interacts with others. This is exactly what drives him to desperately crave admiration, to chase after others he's envious of because he thinks he is obligated to take what they have.

he seems to genuinely think he is entitled to get whatever he wants, just because he is inherently "special" or "better" than everyone else. Why else would he have made himself a king, a step above princess?

EXCESSIVE NEED FOR ADMIRATION

Turbo's self worth is COMPLETELY dependent on the opinions of children and teenagers. I think i don't need to say any more than that, but i will. (Evil).

As cartoonishly massive as his ego is, i think that it's fair to assume that Turbo has a very unstable sense of self, distorting his perception of his own worth down with it. his near-constant flaunting and need to be the best is a dead giveaway to his deeply-ridden self-doubt. The foundation of his stability is built around how "good" he is (at racing and winning), how powerful he is, whether or not he is being prioritized above everyone else, whether or not he is the absolute best, etc. etc.

The racer outright manipulates others to shower him with admiration and undeserved appreciation. He is incapable of forming a true sense of internal value, instead heavily and codependently relying on others to form it for him. if he isn't the best, he may as well just be nothing.

INTENSE JEALOUSY

He reacts so severely to what he perceives as others taking away what is rightfully his that it only goes to solidify my previous points even further. the second someone else is getting more attention than him, Turbo will bend over backwards to rip back the praise he believes he so rightly deserves.

being extremely competitive, he will one-up against anyone he thinks of as a threat, dedicating himself to taking them down to the best of his ability, and making sure they STAY down to top it all off.

INABILITY TO HANDLE CRITICISM

if we really dissect the entire one-off joke with Turbo insisting that his stolen pink castle is actually "salmon," along with all of his other domineering behaviors, we can garner that he is very persistent in how he wants others to view him. i wholeheartedly believe that this would translate into him not only being defensive over his supposed "ownership" of Sugar Rush, but also over himself and his own insecurities.

He needs to feel good about himself or else he will die and quite literally try to kill everyone.

LACK OF EMPATHY

He appears to have a fondness for making jokes in very poor taste. Turbo has a big sense of humor, but it's always at the expense of others. Be it a pun about a "fungeon," or jumping to protect himself with a joke about "hitting a guy with glasses," he has a tendency to take serious situations very lightly. It's not that he's unaware of the weight of it; he simply doesn't take it Seriously.

its admittedly impressive how he was able to feign empathy so well for Ralph; it goes to show how he is very capable of understanding that what he's doing is wrong, but ultimately does nothing to change his behavior because it doesn't impact him personally. 

i would like to honor this part of him, because even in the possible alternate path of a redemption arc, his struggle with empathy can be explored in a variety of interesting ways :-] he can understand complicated emotions and situations on an analytical level, but he doesn't feel for them unless it has to do with him specifically. (this obviously doesn't make him inherently evil, his ACTIONS make him evil)

💥 ASPD 💥

LACK OF REMORSE/GUILT

One of Turbo's core characteristics is just how far he is willing to go for his own self-interest with lack of regard for how it impacts everyone else. he has absolutely no concern for how anyone else feels besides himself, willing to go so far as to attempt to mutilate a 9-year-old to achieve his petty goals.

Turbo is shameless when it comes to how he goes about getting his way. While I'd like to believe he isn't fully incapable of feeling regret, he doesn't showcase feeling it in the movie itself. The most regret he'll feel is when he slips up and exposes himself. anything else is the fault of everyone else; he is untouchable in his eyes.

DECEITFUL TENDENCIES + LYING

Where do i even start with this one.

well, first of all, let's acknowledge the... erm, horse? in the room? 🐎😅(Please someone help me there is a horse in my room help helphel) being that Turbo went under disguise as King Candy for at least a decade. Even before this, there's a good chance that he's already had plenty of experience with lies and manipulation. i'd be willing to bet on this!!

one of his specialties is being proficient in manipulation, be it the code of games or the minds of people. theyre basically the same thing to him, anyway... I'm sure you all know the scene where he uses 16 manipulation tactics against Ralph and wins. this was Obviously not the first time he'd done this.

REPETITION OF HARMFUL BEHAVIORS

Time and time again, Turbo can't seem to help himself when it comes to poor decision-making. he never internalizes that his bad choices aren't JUST bad for others, but also for himself, continuing to escalate further and further into very dangerous behaviors until he literally dies.

Here's a list of bad decisions he has made! (at least, that we know of)

Pinning himself above his peers

Harassment + stalking

Carelessly charging through GCS with his car, endangering countless civilians

Attempting to take over a game that isn't his x2

Vehicular manslaughter

Implied mass murder + attempted murder, attempted mutilation

Mass endangerment

Breaking and entering, theft, usurpation, plagiarism

and more!!!!!!!

AND HE LEARNS FROM ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS!!! with some of the items listed here, he's attempted to do multiple times! Absolute buffoon.

RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR SAFETY OF SELF AND OTHERS

Considering how he was willing to charge into a game that wasn't his own with the awareness that it could permanently kill him, going as far as to recklessly crash into another car (albeit it's possible this was unintentional), it's easy to gather that he doesn't seem to consider anyone's safety at all in the spur of the moment.

IMPULSITIVITY

his impulsivity and disregard for safety both go hand-in-hand. When it gets to a certain point, Turbo's emotions will boil over and blow up in a cold rage, thus causing him to spiral and act on impulse, becoming a detrimental force to himself as well as everyone around him.

What's interesting is how much restraint he is capable of; he typically is very strategic in how he orchestrates his plans! but once he reaches his breaking point, he snaps and leaves all of his hard work behind in favor of something that calls for his immediate attention.

💥 ETC. 💥

extra tidbits i didnt have enough energy to fully delve into :-]

BPD

Fear of abandonment

Blurry sense of identity

Feelings of emptiness

Self destructive tendencies

Emotional instability

Explosive anger

ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)

He seems so infatuated with his own autonomy that he gets to the point of being resistant and defiant

Resisting against the rules of the world that he directly caused as a result of his own actions, being that one shouldn't "go Turbo."

Enjoys upsetting/getting a rise out of others. this is more speculative as i am going off of the assumption that he thinks pissing people off is funny, based on his other behavioral patterns. (cruel sense of humor, wanting to feel above others via control & manipulation, enjoyment of inflicting pain onto others)

Forcefully defends himself and refuses any kind of criticism

Lashes out when he feels slighted

Excessive persistence despite all odds, whether it's beneficial to him or not

ok bye!! thank you if you managed to read this far ^^ peace and love take care of yourself! all in all turbo is so neurodivergent ok please Okay <3 get this thing his meds

[marvelmusingsbyhertz]

Scars, chapter 7

A/N: This story is turning out to be a daydream for me. When I started writing, I really did it for me, getting back in my groove and writing the stories, I could see myself in, and somehow, you amazing people read my daydreams and understand them. I can really only thank you, although it is a small word - it is all I really can express. So, thank you to you all. I truly, really love you.

ALSO, my keyboard is broken just a little bit, so if there’s a missing space or an H, that’s why - my keys are tired of my shit, apparently.

Feedback feeds the soul and requests are open!

MASTERLIST

SERIES MASTERLIST

ASK ME ANYTHING/REQUESTS

Pairings: Bodyguard!Bucky x reader

Warnings: Fluff, slight angst, Soft!Boy!Bucky, language, flangst (like, if you squint)

Previous chapter

Chapter 7: If It Means That Much To You

You were scanning the website for dresses - since you weren’t allowed outside, all you had was the internet and then hope it would fit you, when it came. Two days from now, you were going to be at the fundraiser, surrounded by Avengers, publicists and/or bad, horrible Hydra people. One of them being your ex.

You still didn’t know much about the entire situation, but Tony had dropped by the day before, and gave you an update on the stuff you’d found and what was happening.

All in all, it was pretty horrible. Tony and the others thought that Hydra had been kidnapping homeless people with the promise of money and had brought them to the run down factory, where the rave had been held. Then they injected them with different variants of a serum, all of them seemingly unsuccessful, dumped the bodies and started over.

Pierce was the main head - or, rather, the one with money who could fund the project - while the scientist who conducted these experiments was only known as Dr. Death. All in all, the consensus was that Hydra was trying to reassemble and create what they’d lost; Bucky.

Tony had been smiling ruefully at the end of the meeting and announced that they were digging deeper into it, but for now, it seemed like everything was a dead end. The factory had been cleared out and not a single scrap, bloodstain or flake of rust left over, and it looked like Hydra had simply disappeared from the face of the earth, much to your chagrin. That meant more time stuck inside with Bucky, which in and of itself wasn’t too bad since you’ve decided to not kill each other, but you missed going out, feeling air on your face.

You groaned, pulling yourself from your thoughts and swiped through dresses on the website until your eyes fell on a floor length, navy blue chiffon dress and clicked on it. It was beautiful, although probably a little over the top for the fundraiser - but, you mused, it wasn’t often you got a chance to wear an evening gown and be escorted by a handsome man. You ordered it, shutting the computer down and stretched before going to the living room, where Bucky was sitting in one of the heavy, leather chairs, reading a very tattered version of The Hobbit. You grinned.

“I didn’t think you were a fantasy-guy.” He glanced at you with a brow raised.

“I’m not. It’s a force of habit.” He kept reading.

“Sure thing, Elf-lord.” He didn’t even look up from his book.

“You’re the reason God created the middle finger.” You narrowed your eyes at him, a little annoyed that he came up with a quip that fast. You leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Someday you’ll go far. I hope you stay there.” He cracked a smile and put his book down.

“Good one.” You smiled.

“What’s up?” He asked and you shrugged.

“I’m bored.” He rolled his eyes at you.

“That’s news to me!” you rolled your eyes right back at him - it wasn’t your fault that this fucking apartment was void of any fun things and you were going stircrazy.

“Shut up, it’s boring to be inside this much. I feel like I’m wasting away, my skin turning to parchment…” You said dramatically. “If I don’t see the sun soon, I might die.” He sighed.

“You’re just as depressing as an unsalted pretzel.” You glared at him.

“That comes from a man who ate beef jello.” He shrugged and silence fell between the two of you, while you made a cup of coffee from the slow, agonising coffeemaker. He hummed a song you didn’t recognize as you poured the coffee and took a sip.

“I have an idea for something we can do.” He finally said after minutes of silence. You smirked.

“I’m not into buttplay.” He groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Shut your mouth. No, I actually have an idea. Grab some blankets, put on a warmer shirt and some shoes and meet me at the elevator in 5 minutes.” He shot up from his chair and ran to his room, slamming the door behind him. Jesus christ.

You followed directions, gathering a bunch of blankets together before throwing on a jumper, a pair of fuzzy socks and a pair of nondescript black boots.

You met Bucky at the elevator, who had his hands full of a basket, stuffed to the brim with pillows and what looked like a sixpack of beers and a handheld speaker in his free hand. He grinned and pressed the button for up - you furrowed your brows in confusion. He didn’t say anything, simply grinning wildly at you and stepped inside the elevator when it dinged.

“I didn’t know there was an up.” You said with narrowed eyes. “Is this the point where you abduct me and kill me?”

“Clearly.” He chuckled. “Just relax.” You huffed in annoyance - you hated surprises.

The elevator opened up to the rooftop, the breeze grabbing your hair and you sucked in a deep breath, the smell of spring lingering around you. It felt fantastic.

“Come on, lazy bones.” He nudged you out of the elevator and you finally saw the roof fully.

Plants littered the terf, in pots and planters, different colours, sizes and leaves filling the otherwise empty space. A few poles with string lights stood in a square, marking a space in between them, where Bucky now placed the basket, grabbed the blankets and laid them down before putting the pillows everywhere. You hugged yourself as the wind bit through your jumper - you should probably have put on an extra shirt, but you didn’t know you were doing a rooftop-picnic.

“Come on.” he gestured for you to sit down, holding a blanket out for you to wrap around yourself. You sat down next to him, wrapping the blanket closely around your shoulders and gratefully took the beer, he handed you, as music flowed from the speakers.

“I know it’s not the same as going out out, but at least you’re outside.” You nodded and smiled at him, taking a sip.

“Does Steve and Tony know you’re taking me outside of secure areas?” You asked with a grin. He shrugged with a small smirk.

“I might’ve rerouted the cameras, so it replays us on the couch. Maybe.” You laughed, feeling freer than you had for days, and closed your eyes as another gust of wind grabbed your hair and threw it around your face. You glanced at Bucky in his henley and a pair of jeans.

“Aren’t you cold?” You asked with a concerned voice, feeling like you sounded like his goddamned mom. He chuckled and his face kind of fell, lines appearing around his eyes.

“I’m, uh, I’m always cold. Byproduct of the serum, I guess.” he said in a soft voice, like a secret was spilling over his lips. He glanced at you with big eyes. “I haven’t really felt warm since before… Well, since I fell off a train.” He smiled ruefully. “I haven’t really told anybody that before.”

It was a spur of the moment decision, but it felt right to take his hand in yours, wrapping both hands around his, gently rubbing your thumb over the exposed skin your hands didn’t cover. He sighed and closed his eyes.

You sat there for a minute in silence as you felt his skin heat up under your hands.

“Can I ask you something?” Your voice was soft and you let your fingers intertwine with his, squeezing it gently - a silent okay if he didn’t want to talk.

“Mhm.” He hummed an agreement.

“It’s totally fine if you don’t want to talk about it, but… Uhm, do you remember anything?” His eyes opened and he looked like he had just stepped back into the war, eyes darting back and forth. “Not about the war or what happened after, but before. Your family, your life?” He relaxed again and smiled slightly.

“Some of it. Some of it… Steve told me some things, but some things I remember.” His smile widened, and even though it was saddened and raw, his eyes shone with remembrance. “I remember my mom’s perfume. My sister used to draw me as a pig.” He chuckled and looked at you, his fingers tightening around yours. “My sister’s name was Rebecca. She was a spitball and took no shit from anyone and.. She was amazing.” he sighed. “My dad died in an accident in training camp, and I enlisted pretty shortly after. Rebecca went to our aunt, and I kept Steve out of trouble.” You smiled.

“I loved spring in Brooklyn. The way the sun would hit your skin… Women in summer dresses.” He grinned. “I loved that. Springtime was good. I was an athlete. My favourite flowers were forget me nots, which is ironic. I read the paper from dumpsters and I cuddled my pillow at night.”

It was like he hadn’t talked about any of this before, the words tumbling out of him. “I didn’t learn to drive until I was in the army. I hated brown. Coney Island was like a safespace, and I made Steve throw up after eating four hot dogs and going on the Cyclone. My mom always smelled like cookies and roses.” You smiled softly at him. “She was a force, that woman. Just… Headstrong, funny and every kid on the block was her kid, no matter what. She gave the best hugs and she used to slide her finger down the bridge of my nose when I was sick.”

“She sounds like a wonderful woman.” he nodded.

“I wish I could remember more about her.” His face was wrought with pain and grief, he’d probably never had the time to process. Your heart felt heavy at the thought - he had woken up from being brainwashed, 70 years after he thought he died, and had to find out that everyone he knew and loved had died.

“I still haven’t visited my sister’s grave. Or my mom’s, for that matter.”

“When all of this is over, we should go.” You said with a smile. He smiled back, eyes shining.

“I’d like that.”

You sat in silence, hands still intertwined. He looked down at it. “I haven’t felt… Normal temperature in a while.” he whispered. You squeezed his fingers. “Glad to help.” He drew his fingers from you and stood up, holding out his hand to you, and you took it, slightly confused. He turned the volume up on the slow jazz song, and he grabbed your waist with his metal hand and tugged you gently closer to him before he started swaying slightly.

“What are you doing?” You asked confused. He smiled down at you, before leaning forward and dipping you softly.

“I’m teaching you to dance.” You giggled like a fucking schoolgirl. “Uhm, why?” you asked as he turned you, letting your back stand flush against his front - it was surprisingly intimate with his chest against you, a hand on your waist, fingers splayed out under your breasts. You had to really use your brain to listen to him, because all you could focus on was how damn close his metal fingers were to your nipples.

“Because we’re going to a fundraiser and there’s going to be dancing. Probably.” He said, spinning you out from him so you were face to face with him. “Besides, I’ve kind of missed dancing.” He said with a boyish grin. You nodded.

“Fine, I’ll allow it.” You said, your hand finding his shoulder and swaying with him in a small circle. He smirked, eyes on yours.

“We make a good match.” You blanched at his words - his voice was so soft, so sincere and you didn’t know how to react.

“Uh, I mean, for dancing. Y’know, you’re not stepping on my, uh, toes. So good match.” His neck was turning a soft shade of pink. You nodded and pulled yourself a little closer to him, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach and the heat forming between your legs, as his thigh went between yours, dipping you again.

“Whatever you say, Buck.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TAGLIST:

@kingshitonly @honeywithemoney @ilovedoggies4everever-blog

@cjand10 @gloriuspurposee @janita @gloryekaterina

@brea-renee @anrimdjarin @thomasthetankson @lesbians4loki2021

@marvel-thor-lover @boofy1998 @anrimdjarin @the-omni-princess

@tfandtws @youtubersshipper @calstielwinchester

@lover-of-bucky @the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned

@marvel-whor

[salsa-di-pomodoro]

(I. ran out of space in the tags 🥲 Read those first then the post. Also sorry if i sound odd or repeat a lot the same words, i tend to already think in circles on my own for Reasons (i am getting a diagnosis), so all this talk of repeating cycles is hard to think about while keeping a clear mind (and i am not a native english speaker). Also it's a hard thing to explain and i already have trouble explaining myself normally because i go on tangents i will otherwise forget lol. Which doesn't help here. I got overwhelmed by outside forces too which definetly didn't help.)

What i think is everything that could happen during a cycle has happened/will happen/is happening but if saint ascends you then that's the only thing that will happen regardless. That cycle doesn't change for you it's the only one that. Stops cycling? It's the only one that isn't a cycle and therefore it's impossible for it to have different outcomes, in your current timeline that stemmed from a particular version of a previous cycle. In other timelines it IS different but only because the cycle was different before your last one.

Basically it's. I don't think that's the right name for it but i'd call it a singularity. While every moment previous to that could create a different timeline, ascension by saint is the one thing that when it happens, it is the only thing that doesn't branch off into different timelines. Everything that happens after that can again start to branch off but you'll still be ascended in every possible following moment of every timeline since that. I'm still not making sense. i would draw a diagram but i can't draw

As for saint themself, i'm not sure what their fare means, but it think they are indeed an echo and in that they keep waking up in the same cycle that they already passed, though this time without very clear memories (like they know what happened but they don't recall it as something that has happened. So they do it again with the knowledge that they already have but they keep doing it because they haven't really, not in this version of the cycle), but then a different version of them also just. Moves on. It's not original saint maybe, but considering they're the only one that can't have the end they're granting others, i think that's a given. The other version i'm not sure of the logistics but they probably keep on going back to the physical world to continue their mission in every coming cycle. It's a different saint since it goes forward in time, but it's also the same one, just in a future cycle. They seem to want to ascend the iterators and they can understand them (i like to think its because a mark of communication would carry over if you came back from the void sea, even if it technically hasn't happened yet or might not happen this time).

So yeah in conclusion saint is the only one who is very very aware of every cycle they've ever lived and also the only one who is seemingly cursed to never be able to ascend. Their cycle isn't much different than everyone else's except instead of reincarnating when they die they just wake up again in the cycle they died in without going forward in any way like i said the others do in the tags (so it isn't possible for a timeline where saint has died to exist because it doesn't branch off. Because saint goes back). And the only way they sort of go forward in any way is by reincarnating back into themself after ascending and moving to ascend another iterator and therefore starting it all all over again, while the other version of them becomes an echo and starts the same cycle all over again, and they're aware of all of it. I think that's the terrible fate Pebbles, Moon and the echoes were talking about, and also the reason they can't see saint's beginning or end. In their perspective there isn't one, because the cycle has ended for them and they are unable to see anything other than that one. They cannot see anything but saint repeating the same cycle over and over again. I am not sure if they can see that they will go forward in other versions of themself but they sure are confused about it.

Not sure about the part where they doubt that it's real but seeing everything like that would probably not feel real to me either. Though it IS real to them. Having ascended, they will not wake up again, dream or not, real or not. Saint cannot ever truly ascend, and therefore will, and needs to wake up again. They crossed the point of no return, but even so they just end up back where they started. By taking a step back and choosing to wake up they are able to control it, i think? They don't just go back, they also go forward. If they didn't wake up again they would just become an echo. When they choose to wake up they go from echo to real again and what i said before can happen. If they didn't, they would just be an echo until they chose to wake up anyway.

Again sorry if i sound confusing or confused. I very much am confused but i wanted to at least try to even vaguely convey in what way exactly i (respectfully!) disagree. I hope i succeeded even a little bit.

Also. I'm glad you enjoy my rambles! I promise they're never going to be this long ever again. I hope :')

@salsa-di-pomodoro i do not mind and it's pretty interesting to read your takes.

[lokiondisneyplus]

A review of “Journey Into Mystery,” the penultimate Loki Season One episode on Disney+, coming up just as soon as I paper cut a giant cloud to death…

Journey Into Mystery was the title of the first Marvel comic to feature either Thor or Loki. It began as an anthology series featuring monsters and aliens, but Jack Kirby, Stan Lee, and Larry Lieber were so smitten with their adaptation of the characters of Norse myth that the Asgardians gradually took over the whole book, which was renamed after its hammer-wielding hero(*).

(*) The early Journey Into Mystery stories treated Thor’s alter ego, disabled Dr. Donald Blake, as the “real” character, while Thor was just someone Blake could magically transform into, while retaining his memories and personality. It wasn’t even clear whether Asgard itself was meant to exist at first, until Loki turned up on Earth in an early issue, caused trouble, and Blake/Thor somehow knew exactly how to get to Asgard to drop him off. Soon, the lines between Thor and Blake began to blur, and eventually Thor became the real guy, and Blake a fiction invented by Odin to humble his arrogant son. It’s a mark of just how instantly charismatic Loki was that the entire title quickly steered towards him and the other gods.

But once upon a time, anything was possible in Journey Into Mystery, which makes it an apt moniker for an absolutely wonderful episode of Loki where the same holds true. Our title characters are trapped in the Void, a place at the end of time where the TVA’s victims are banished to be devoured by a cloud monster named Alioth. And mostly they are surrounded by the wreckage of many dead timelines. Classic Loki insists that his group’s only goal is survival, and any kind of planning and scheming is doomed to kill the Loki who tries. But this ruined, hopeless world instead feels bursting with imagination and possibility.

There are the many Loki variants we see, with President Loki, among others, joining Classic, Kid, Boastful, and Alligator Loki. There are the metric ton of Easter Eggs just waiting to be screencapped by Marvel obsessives (I discuss a few of them down below), but which still suggest a much larger and weirder MCU even if you don’t immediately scream out “Is that… THROG?!?!?” at the appropriate moment. And all of that stuff is tons of fun, to be sure. But what makes this episode — and, increasingly, this series — feel so special is the way that it explores the untapped potential of Loki himself, in his many, many variations.

This is an episode that owes more than a small stylistic and thematic debt to Lost. It’s not just that Alioth looks and sounds so much like the Smoke Monster(*), that it makes a shared Wizard of Oz reference to “the man behind the curtain” (also the title of one of the very best Lost episodes), or even that the core group of Lokis are hiding in a bunker accessible via a hatch and a ladder that’s filled with recreational equipment (in this case, bowling alley lanes). It’s also that Loki, Sylvie, their counterparts, and Mobius have all been transported to a strange place that has disturbing echoes from their own lives, that operates according to strange new rules they have to learn while fleeing danger, and their presence there allows them to reflect on the many mistakes of their past and consider whether they want to, or can, transcend them.

(*) Yes, Alioth technically predates Smokey by a decade (see the notes below for more), but his look has been tweaked a bit here to seem more like smoke than a cloud, and the sounds he makes when he roars sound a lot like Smokey’s telltale taxi cab meter clicks. Given the other Lost hat tips in the episode, I have to believe Alioth was chosen specifically to evoke Smokey.

Classic Loki is aptly named. He wears the Sixties Jack Kirby costume, and he is a far more powerful magician than either Sylvie or our Loki have allowed themselves to be. He calls our Loki’s knives worthless compared to his sorcery, which feels like the show acknowledging that the movies depowered Loki a fair amount to make him seem cooler. But if Classic Loki can conjure up illusions bigger and more potent than his younger peers, he is a fundamentally weak and defeated man, convinced, like the others, that the only way to win the game into which he was born is not to play. “We cannot change,” he insists. “We’re broken. Every version of ourselves. Forever.” It is not only his sentiment — Kid Loki adds that any Loki who tries to improve inevitably winds up in the Void for their troubles — but it seems to have weighed on him longer and harder than most.

But Classic Loki takes inspiration from Loki and Sylvie to stand and fight rather than turn and run, magicking up a vision of their homeland to distract Alioth at a crucial moment in Sylvie’s plan, and getting eaten for his trouble. He was wrong: Lokis can change. (Though Kid Loki might once again argue that Classic Loki’s death is more evidence that the universe has no interest in any of them doing so.) And both Loki and Sylvie have been changing throughout their time together. Like most Lokis, they seem cursed to a life of loneliness. Sylvie learned as a child that a higher power believed she should not exist, and has spent a lifetime hiding out in places where any friends she might make will soon die in an apocalypse. Our Loki’s past isn’t quite so stark, but the knowledge that his birth father abandoned him, while his adoptive father never much liked him, have left permanent scars that govern a lot of his behavior. The defining element of Classic Loki’s backstory is that he spent a long time alone on a planet, and only got busted by the TVA when he attempted to reconnect with his brother and anyone else he once knew. This is a hard existence, for all of them. And while it does not forgive them their many sins(*), it helps contextualize them, and give them the knowledge to try to be better versions of themselves.

(*) Loki at one point even acknowledges that, for him, it’s probably only been a few days since he led an alien invasion of New York that left many dead, though due to TVA shenanigans, far more time may have passed.

For that matter, Mobius is not the stainless hero he once thought of himself as. While he and Sylvie are tooling around the Void in a pizza delivery car (because of course they are), he admits that he committed a lot of sins by believing that the ends justified the means, and was wrong. He doesn’t know who he is before the TVA stole and factory rebooted him, but he knows that he wants something better for himself and the universe, and takes the stolen TemPad to open up a portal to his own workplace in hopes of tearing down the TVA once and for all. Before he goes, though, he and Loki share a hug that feels a lot more poignant than it should, given that these characters have only spent parts of four episodes of TV together. It’s a testament to Hiddleston, Wilson, Waldron, and company (Tom Kauffman wrote this week’s script) that their friendship felt so alive and important in such a short amount of time.

The same can be said for Loki and Sylvie’s relationship, however we’re choosing to define it. Though they briefly cuddle together under a blanket that Loki conjures, they move no closer to romance than they were already. If anything, Mobius’ accusations of narcissism in last week’s episode seem to have made both of them pull back a bit from where they seemed to be heading back on Lamentis. But the connection between them is real, whatever exactly it is. And their ability to take down Alioth — to tap into the magic that Classic Loki always had, and to fulfill Loki’s belief that “I think we’re stronger than we realize” — by working together is inspiring and joyful. Without all this nuanced and engaging character work, Loki would still be an entertaining ride, but it’s the marriage of wild ideas with the human element that’s made it so great.

Of course, now comes the hard part. Endings have rarely been an MCU strength, give or take something like the climax of Endgame, and the finales of the two previous Disney+ shows were easily their weakest episodes. The strange, glorious, beautiful machine that Waldron and Herron have built doesn’t seem like it’s heading for another generic hero/villain slugfest, but then, neither did WandaVision before we got exactly that. This one feels different so far, though. The command of the story, the characters, and the tone are incredibly strong right now. There is a mystery to be solved about who is in the big castle beyond the Void (another Loki makes the most narrative and thematic sense to me, but we’ll see), and a lot to be resolved about what happens to the TVA and our heroes. And maybe there’s some heavy lifting that has to be done in service to the upcoming Dr. Strange or Ant-Man films.

It’s complicated, but on a show that has handled complexity well. Though even if the finale winds up keeping things simpler, that might work. As Loki notes while discussing his initial plan to take down Alioth, “Just because it’s not complicated doesn’t mean it’s bad.” Though as Kid Loki retorts, “It also doesn’t mean it’s good.”

Please be good, Loki finale. Everything up to this point deserves that.

Some other thoughts:

* Most of this week’s most interesting material happens in the Void. But the scenes back at the TVA clarify a few things. First, Ravonna is not the mastermind of all this, and she was very much suckered in by the Time-Keeper robots. But unlike Mobius or Hunter B-15, she’s so conditioned to the mission that even knowing it’s a lie hasn’t really swayed her from her mission. She has Miss Minutes (who herself is much craftier this week) looking into files about the creation of the TVA, but for the most part comes across as someone very happy with a status quo where she gets to be special and pass judgment on the rest of the multiverse.

* Alioth first appeared in 1993’s Avengers: The Terminatrix Objective, a miniseries (written by Mobius inspiration Mark Gruenwald, and with some extremely kewl Nineties art full of shoulder pads, studded collars, and the like) involving Ravonna, Kang, and the off-brand versions of Captain America, Iron Man, and Thor (aka U.S. Agent, War Machine, and Thunderstrike, the latter of whom has yet to appear in the MCU). It’s a sequel to a Nineties crossover event called Citizen Kang. And no, I still don’t buy that Kang will be the one pulling the strings here, if only because it’s really bad storytelling for the big bad of the season to have never appeared or even been mentioned prior to the finale.

* Rather than try to identify every Easter egg visible in the Void’s terrain, I’ll instead highlight three of the most interesting. Right before the Lokis arrive at the hatch, we see a helicopter with Thanos’ name on it. This is a hat tip to an infamous — and often memed — out-of-continuity story where Thanos flies this chopper while trying to steal the Cosmic Cube (aka the Tesseract) from Hellcat. (A little kid gets his hands on it instead and, of course, uses the Cube to conjure up free ice cream.) James Gunn has been agitating for years for the Thanos Copter to be in the MCU. He finally got his wish.

* The other funny one: When the camera pans down the tunnel into Kid Loki’s headquarters, we see Mjolnir buried in the ground, and right below it is a jar containing a very annoyed frog in a Thor costume. This is either Thor himself — whom Loki cursed into amphibianhood in a memorable Walt Simonson storyline — or another character named Simon Walterston (note the backwards tribute to Walt) who later assumed the tiny mantle.

* Also, in one scene you can spot Yellowjacket’s helmet littering the landscape. This might support the theory that the TVA, the Void, etc., all exist in the Quantum Realm, since that’s where the MCU version of Yellowjacket probably went when his suit shorted out and he was crushed to subatomic size. Or it might be more trolling of the fanbase from the company that had WandaVision fans convinced that Mephisto, the X-Men, and/or Reed Richards would be appearing by the season finale.

* Honestly, I would have watched an entire episode that was just Loki, Mobius, and the others arguing about whether Alligator Loki was actually a Loki, or just a gator who ended up with the crown, presumably after eating a real Loki. The suggestion that the gator might be lying — and that this actually supports, rather than undermines, the case for him being a Loki — was just delightful. And hey, if Throg exists in the MCU now, why not Alligator Loki?

* Finally, the MCU films in general are not exactly known for their visual flair, though a few directors like Taika Waititi and Ryan Coogler have been able to craft distinctive images within the franchise’s usual template. Loki, though, is so often wonderful to look at, and particularly when our heroes are stuck in strange environments like Lamentis or the Void. Director Kate Herron and the VFX team work very well together to create dynamic and weird imagery like Sylvie running from Alioth, or the chaotic Loki battle in the bowling alley. Between this show and WandaVision, it appears the Disney+ corner of the MCU has a bit more room to expand its palette. (Falcon and the Winter Soldier, much less so.)