#i think the symptoms of my mental illness/meds are funny to me in a sort of

[nightmutt]

my meds make me dizzy and light headed as well as amplifying my memory lapses so i think im spending like 40-60% of my days utterly lost or confused

[oceanselevenism]

I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?

omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)

- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous

- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)

- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents

- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)

- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great

- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence

- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long

- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)

- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross

- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts

[id-on-parade]

A New Day

This will probably be a pretty long post. I’m gonna put the positives at the front, then i’m gonna exorcise some demons from my mind. This exorcism is to remove them from my head, not to put them into someone else’s, so i’ll go ahead and put an end to positives notice, and i guess read on at your own risk.

I am currently waiting on a list of approved Mental Health care providers in my area from my insurance company, I’ve just gotten off the phone with them and they said they would send it to me and I should pick one. After picking one and confirming they are accepting patients I should call the insurance folks back to get approval for a number of appointments. They close at five, so hopefully I’ll get the list soon so i can get this rolling - hopefully i’ll get this sorted today. Its funny that I feel this sense of almost giving up on doing it myself, this outdated cultural stigma at the same time that I feel a strong sense of hope that this will be a turning point in my mental health. I look back and wonder with a decent sense of awe how different my life might have been had I received mental health care as a teen when this all started.

I had a pretty heavy depressive episode yesterday, and am happy to report that today feels more like my standard levels of depression, i’m me again today - the me that most know, not the me that’s falling and can’t seem to catch hold. this information that today is a new day, i’ve survived, and the pit appears to have closed is the end of the positives for this post. here on in will be an unloading of a very stressful and difficult week, read on if you wish, but i gotta get these demons out somewhere, so here they go.

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I guess i should start at the start. I returned this last week from a week of sick leave wherein I had some Covid symptoms, my wife had some Covid symptoms and at the start of that sick week, that was majorly stressful.  I got tested, nasal swab, x-ray, and found to be negative for covid, or pneumonia. my wife’s insurance, however, had her do an online appointment, she answered some questions, the internet told her it was likely viral sinusitis, and wrote her a note to take the week off as well, no seeing a doctor, no actual tests. now, luckily, we both seem to have gotten better over that week - but boy was that frustrating.

When I returned to work, my boss and I had a bit of a disagreement about what a sick note through Saturday meant, he thought i should have come in Saturday, I thought i shouldn't. I even called Saturday and someone over the phone told me i was not scheduled Saturday. at the end of the conversation he had basically made it seem like i was dumb for thinking about it the way i did, that it didn’t matter about the call on Saturday, and that i might get in trouble. then he said “so, for next time, you know - come in on the day that’s listed.” So far, no trouble has come down the pipeline about that, but he’s been much less jovial with me of late.

That’s probably a decent bit of paranoia, we’ve all been less jovial of late, at my work. Providing mental health care to inpatient teens is hard. there’s a lot of secondhand trauma. (more on that later) there’s a lot of firsthand trauma. (more on that later). These kids are quite ill, and they are trying so hard, often put up against a life that’s honestly too difficult for even most adults, my whole heart goes to them. Right now, With the pandemic, and the rioting, they have more stress than ever, and less access to their loved ones, and anyone who knows anything about mental illness, knows what that means for their mental health. And with all of our patients having suddenly much worse mental health it means not only that my coworkers and I are dealing with more unsafe situations, and absorbing more trauma, but on the back-end we’re watching these kids backslide through months of progress, and sometimes that’s so heartbreaking. It’s normal, to backslide, and it doesn’t mean anything negative about the kids, but it doesn’t make it less heartbreaking. so yeah, coworkers are all in their stressed out, panic, survival modes, and its pretty visible right now - which means sometimes we are not as awesome to each other as we could be.

One of my coworkers was especially not awesome, to himself, this week. I really looked up to this  guy. takes heart to be openly flamboyantly queer with these kids, and he was, and he was always honest with them as far as accountability, a real no-sugar-coating type guy. when things got rough, it wasn’t unusual to hear him say “look at your life, look at your choices” to these kids, where other staff might handhold, and walk them through an analysis of what they’d been doing. Well, this week he must have finally snapped from the stress, as about 5 cop cars and a firetruck arrived at the neighboring cottage to retrieve him from the bathroom, where he had sequestered himself to huff aerosol mid shift. He won’t be returning, and he was damn good at this. he’ll be missed, and I hope away from the job he can recover.

Stream of consciousness, this brings us to kids and trauma. To avoid trauma, as the kids also care about that coworker, I ushered the kids I was outside with into the building. well, all but one. This is a fairly new patient, AFAB NB, spent a long time homeless before coming to us, family ain’t about the identity. As the cops rolled up, they were hurling insults, flipping them off, and generally saying things that I had to remind them to watch their language for. not that i reminded them very loud, because honestly, mood. But then they got silent as the cops sent to work, and they got real still. they stopped responding to me, and that was when i decided to walk around in front of them and force eye contact. they were on the verge of tears. I said “They aren’t here for you, you’re safe here, let’s go inside - it isn’t helping you to watch this.” they said It’s just --- the last time I saw the Cops they were hauling away my boyfriend”. - “that is extremely traumatic, if you come inside with me we can work on some coping, and help you to get the thoughts out, will you come inside with me?” -- “I wan’t to, But I just Can’t, I Can’t Make Myself.” - “Can you take my arm and we’ll walk together?” --”NO! I Can’t Have Anyone Touch Me Right Now, PLEASE” - “Absolutely, you’re safe here, how about if we take it slow, and I walk beside you instead?” -- “o-okay” it took us roughly 5 minutes to walk the 20 steps to the door. Once inside, they wept in a ball for some time, before beginning to work on coping skills with me. In processing, they let me know they were having such trouble because the boyfriend they were remembering had been very abusive, and the cops were hauling him off because of the beatings he had heaped upon them. that they hated the cops because they thought they loved him at the time, even though they now know he was not good for them, but knowing that hadn’t made them hate the cops less. And that seeing the cops had put their mind firmly into memories of being abused, and that they were having trouble breaking free of that thought trap. eventually we were able to get them involved in group activities and somewhat distracted, at least.

There’s a kid who reminds me of me as a teen, he’s depressed, and angry. unlike me as a teen he’s also very slow to process, and to avoid falling behind when he fails to process things he either makes cruel jokes, or explodes with anger. His dog is dying. His family barely sees him normally, but with the virus they don’t do much at all. His only contact is family therapy, and when he remembers to call them. he often doesn’t remember to call them until after phone time is over. then he wants to scream and shout and tear everything apart when he doesn’t get to make the call. This story though, is about a day he did remember to call. And his family let him know about the riots, all across the country. He’s trying hard to understand, but he doesn’t. He thinks, his being here, after drug and assault charges, has something to do with whats going on out there. that maybe his case is also unjust. but he also knows he needs this care. but he also sees himself backsliding and feels hopeless about progress, due to the depression. This is when he decides to try to recruit his peers to escape with him. All of his peers, to their credit, stayed the fuck out of it. but it did mean convincing him of the value of treatment, and the potential risk of breaking down a door - while he was trying to break down a door. he’s one of the few that I honestly don’t know, if i’m alone with him and he swings on me, if i could defend myself well enough until support arrived. he didn’t that day. but boy was that A Lot Of Stress.

The kid who has assaulted the most staff and peers, physically, verbally, sexually. started a plan that had him out of Low Stim and with peers in Close Attention this week, because we were receiving a new kid this week, at six foot, straight from juvie, a known fighter, and an off-meds psychopath. and, even though Low Stim has 2 rooms, we’re trying to get sexually assaultive kid out of there so there isn't risk in the dual occupancy. i’ll talk about new kid later, for now lets talk about the more long term patient. this patient has trouble with building relationships, an echo of the abuse he experienced in younger life, frequently he gets sexually explicit, physically assaultive and perhaps fecally oriented while doing so, especially when he is worried about relationships, or feels “too silly”. the trouble being of course, our counseling works best when we build strong relationships with patients, and even regular jokes can push him into the “too silly” category. He did well for the first bit. after about three days the back to back escalations began. a peer told a joke, he laughed too much, the staff pulled all the other kids inside and away from him to protect them. he whipped out his dick, pissed all over the place, tried showing it to staff, then began throwing sidewalk chalk everywhere, windows, doors, the roof, towards other buildings, whatnot. when the support staff arrived and 12 of us asked him to proceed to a quiet room, he did so of his own volition, rather than us taking him, and due to that, my coworker did not lock him there. no sooner had the extra staff gone than he came out banging around.we went hands on and locked him there. at the end of an hour and a half, my coworker deemed he had calmed enough to rejoin his peers. no sooner had he made his way back into the milieu than he began trying to hug and grope various staff.we again hauled him into a quiet room and locked him there. as the shift neared its end, we called security and had them help us get him back to his room in the LSA, not wanting to leave night shift with a kid in a QR. once back there, he tried to show staff his dick, again, and eventually settled into refusing to go to his room, when it was clear staff wouldn’t interact with him anymore for the night and expected him to go to bed, he went in his room, drug his mattress to being half down in the doorway, looked at me and said “is this in my room enough?” before laying down to try to sleep. he was scared, after everything he didnt want to be alone, and would rather not follow directions and potentially be in trouble, than be by himself in his room. I let him stay there. More of the same throughout the following day, and the day after that is when his story intersects with new kids in just about the most traumatic way.

New kid is over six feet, muscular, dead eyed, and arrived wearing a juvie orange jumper which he refuses to change from. developmentally, it is hard to distinguish this mustachioed individual from a fully grown man. in all of his dealings with staff, he was robotically polite. out of staffs sight he could be heard screaming angrilly, wailing in dispair, cursing out people who aren’t there, and then pleading “ oh no, no no no, NO NO NO NO” like you would expect to hear from a prone person while someone with a bloody knife walked towards them. I know because for a lot of the week i sat and listened to this. i listened to him strike himself after the pleading as well. and while I personally was not threatened in any way by his actions, it was still extremely stressful and distressing. Throughout the week, whenever the longer term patient overheard these things, he would should “would you stop, damn” to the new kid, and less polite versions. I tried to remind the long term patient that everyone struggled with different things, and that it would be better to ignore his peer, or at least make politer requests. no such luck. it seemed, throughout the week as though new kid simply did not hear long term patient.he proved that wrong on saturday afternoon, when he marched out of his room and began wailing on long term patient. after long term patient fell, new patient grabbed him by the hair and pulled him into a room, where the beating could be heard to continue. By the time we had enough staff to safely go in, new kid was standing one foot on long term kids throat, looking him in the eyes and repeating “i’m going to kill you” but, dispassionately.

I think thats it for work stress, I covered viral stress earlier. I am stressed by the riots. it makes me profoundly sad that it must come to this, but i also find myself firmly believe it HAD to come to this. that this rioting is righteous, and the only road to social change. I’ve been a punk since I was a teen, and I feel like i should do more for this movement, but honestly all of my energy is being spent keeping me going and treating these kids.

My depression has picked my relationship with bestie to fixate on in these trying times, and I fear I may have damaged that relationship because of it this weekend. bestie has just started a new schedule which is excellent for her. I’m so happy that she is now on a schedule that works for her needs, and will allow a healthy amount of sleep, and time at home, and for her to sleep close to the hours she’d prefer to be sleeping. I had been very lucky in that her last schedule was very close to my own schedule, and so our time at home nearly entirely overlapped. she chose to spend a number of mornings, and late evenings after the rest of the house just hanging out, her and I, and I absolutely love that time. I don’t want to sound entitled to it, at all. it is a gift she gives to me, that I am so happy to receive and which i am so glad she wants to give to me. With the new schedule she will have to leave early enough that the morning hangouts will not be an option, and because of this likely ought to go to bed early enough that the hangouts while the house slumbers aren’t a healthy choice. My depression tried hard to have me believing that this meant those times were just gone. After work saturday, bestie and wifey were listening to an excellent, but extremely despairing/sad audio drama.It was very enjoyable. It was probably not a mentally healthy choice for me to partake in that, and had I requested a different hangouts activity, they might have been a little sad, but probably would have swapped. instead, rather than be an even minor inconvenience I joined because i wanted the hangouts, and had a great time listening to a great story and felt like while the despair was growing in me, in resonance with the story, i’d sleep on it and it’d be alright sunday. I woke up sunday honestly too depressed to get out of bed. just laying in spiral. I asked bestie to join us in bed, when i heard her going to get her phone charger, hoping extra cuddles would help me get through, i don’t know why i couldn’t ask for what I wanted, I had the opportunity and I’m sure it would have been fine, now, in hindsight. I felt like at the time I was so certain something would go wrong. eventually everyone came to the bed and there was a semi-cudllepuddle. people didn't want to fall back asleep, it makes sense not to full cuddle puddle for that. as people set in on their various phone activities I started to get that feeling like i wasn’t part of what was happening (despite being there. I know, I don’t know why, but when the depression gets going it gets harder to fight.) and rather than grab my phone and to the separate activities together thing I just withdrew. i recall someone commenting on it, and I thought i said something confirmatory about it. The blondes (wifey and besties husband) went to the store, and I could tell bestie might fall asleep, so i tried to get her to stay awake, she needed to for the new schedule. in interacting i’d asked to hold her hand, and she observed i was sad to relinquish it when she wanted it back. admitting that made me sad, led to just an outpouring of all of this stuff sans work stuff. and the worry about time to spend. I shouldn’t have dumped all of that on her, she didn’t consent to listening to that, and she certainly had a stressful enough time. I hate that when I’m in the throws of this damn disease I can’t seem to stop this. I don’t want to hurt the people I love. I don’t want to push them away. She reminded me I ought to go to therapy. I worry I may have offended her by talking about worrying about time we’d get to spend together. That voice in my brain is trying to convince me that her response means that those times mean so much more to me than to her. thats a damn lie. its a damn lie and it needs to get out. I’m exorcising it with the lot.

I’ve just received the list. I’m ending this here, and moving forward with that productive enterprise

[ajroyalty68]

Withdrawal Part Two

So, both because I can really only talk to a few people in my life about this and because no one is likely to read this, I’m gonna go ahead and rant for a minute.

When I was diagnosed with depression in my sophomore year of high school, I was prescribed (after trying five or six other meds first) Venlafaxine (brand name, Effexor). Right up front, my doctor shared that it had been nicknamed by health professionals “Side Effexor” and to let him know if I couldn’t handle the side effects that would happen. He didn’t say “might” happen, he said, “would”. The side effects did suck, but after trying so many other meds that either didn’t help at all or made my depression worse, I was willing to stick it out. 

A few years later my diagnosis was amended to bipolar depression, and although another medication (Oxcarbazepine), was added, the fact that the Effexor was still working for me led my psychologist to suggest I keep taking my original meds as well. At this point, I was warned about the near certainty of debilitating withdrawal if for any point I was to stop taking the Venlafaxine. 

Less than a year later, I lost my health insurance and found out that one month of medications would be over $1000 without it. The withdrawal was brutal, but since I was also dealing with another million (or so it seemed) life issues on top of it, I didn’t realize how much of my miserable condition was caused by withdrawal.

Fast forward to last week, when I made an inexcusably stupid mistake. Right after picking up my Effexor, I cleaned out my car in the Kroger parking lot. As you may have already guessed, my medication made it into the trash can by accident. I attempted to get a new prescription (knowing that I would have to pay the cash price) but was basically ignored by my current primary care physician (don’t worry, I already have an appointment with a new PCP, this isn’t the first time they’ve made it hard for me to get medical help and I’m sick of it) and was unable to get a new refill.

Long story short, I knew I was about to go through withdrawal again, but having been through that sort of situation while my life was already falling apart a little bit, I figured it would be a lot easier now that I had a good support system and was honestly discussing my problems with my best friend (my grandma). And that is helping. A LOT. I cannot express how grateful I am to her and my current situation. 

But here comes the withdrawal portion of the rant. I’m basically just going to list complaints about my withdrawal symptoms and the rest of the post may be even more tiresome and incomprehensible than the beginning. You have been warned.

I am always cold. I have always been like this, and I’m used to it. But when I am huddled under a couple of thick blankets wearing a jacket using my dog as a heater and I’m still shivering so hard I have trouble answering my grandma because my teeth are chattering, that’s a little much. And that’s just at home. Earlier today at work, while on the phone with another bookstore, they actually asked if our heater was out. Because they could hear my teeth chattering.

Now for the opposite. Something I didn’t have to deal with the first time I went through withdrawal with these meds: HOT FLASHES!... Or at least I don’t remember them happening before. As I mentioned, I’m always cold. And the highest the temperature has been here for the past several days is around 40 degrees Fahrenheit, so the shivering has been easy to pass off as nothing. But when I feel like I’m gonna pass out until I strip down to my bra and hang out in the garage for a bit, that’s a little harder to explain. NOTE: I have been able to resist stripping in my classes and at work, but sometimes it’s been difficult to hold out!

Another fun thing is the shaking. Not just the shivering, but when my hands shake so violently that I have to stop doing homework. To be fair, I have a natural tremor. I literally cannot remember life without one, and it’s noticeable enough that at least once a week a stranger will remark on it. I often hear, “Are you nervous? I don’t bite!” HAHA! YOU’RE SO FUNNY!

I’m sick to my stomach all the time. I haven’t been eating much (which doesn’t help the shaking) because I keep thinking I’ll throw up if I do. I finally realized today that it’s pretty much here to stay for the near future and eating neither helps nor harms the level of nausea, so I’ve just been making friends with Pepto Bismal to negligible results.

I CAN’T STOP SLEEPING. Yes, I’m exhausted, but I also keep having to huddle up in bed in an attempt to keep warm and fall asleep in the process. Again, not conducive to homework or personal life. Shout out to having a grandma who went through an addiction to prescription drugs and understands what I’m dealing with.

Finally, I feel INSANE because I know, as soon as I get a new prescription, I’ll be beelining it to Kroger to get more meds. I hate my dependency, but I find it incredibly difficult to be a productive member of society who can avoid suicide attempts without it. I am more than willing to try alternatives and would love to find a non-medicated method of dealing with my mental illness, but at this point in time, I know I’m not strong enough to deal with my chemical imbalances without prescription drugs.

Thank you, Tumblr for letting me rant, and I apologize to anyone who may actually read this.

[flightysquip]

also time for some mental health babbling

this isn’t a rant or a complaint.  this is genuinely me curious.

so like

not that there are a ton of depictions of bipolar disorder in media (*that actually focus on treatment or humanizing the character or whatever, that isn’t just shorthand for Evil Or Slutty Person) but most of them i can think of off the top of my head (and i’ve been guilty of this myself in my writing in the past), when they name a medication, immediately go to lithium

which, like, i get it in a sense.  it’s an easy shorthand for bipolar treatment (i would guess a similarity would be ‘depressed person always prescribed prozac’ but my knowledge of antidepressants is not the strongest, the only experience i have with antidepressants was celexa and resulted in hospitalization).  and, like, it also sounds hardcore and medieval as fuck (well, that’s at least my reaction when i hear it mentioned), so it probably makes it easier to justify the inevitable ‘bipolar person stops taking their meds’ storyline that will inevitably pop up.  those are just sorta my guesses.

my question is

like

does anyone’s doctor, when they’re first starting treatment for bipolar (and i’m talking bipolar 1 specifically), actually jump immediately to lithium?

my experiences are limited, of course, and i’m just talking about myself personally.  and i’m sure factors like family history and severity and all of that come into play, maybe affects of other drugs on the patient or whatever.  i don’t know.  i really don’t.  i was initially diagnosed by a, like, a standard MD or whatever, like, a primary care doctor (i just mean she wasn’t a psychiatric doctor).  I made an appointment, went in because i thought i had depression, she did her assessment, diagnosis, and started discussing treatment options.  she DID mention lithium, but not in a “this is a possible route we could go” way but as a sort of, like, potential escalation if other meds didn’t work.  she also stated that she’d rather not go this route because taking lithium requires routine bloodwork and, I think her exact words were that it was a much more ‘high maintenance course of treatment’ than lamictal or some of the other options (i mean, obviously with lamictal you have to worry about the infamous “rash”, but no blood work was required, no concerns about it damaging your liver or anything in the same way that you have to monitor with lithium--again from my understanding with what she communicated that day).

she also started me on a really low dose, too, and built me up.  it wasn’t just ‘here’s a mindnumbing dose of this medication you’ve never taken, go on your way’.  i guess i can understand why this isn’t as explored in media though--it’s not really sexy or exciting, the little microadjustments and all that.

anyway, when i was eventually hospitalized (and taken off the celexa that i’d been prescribed to help with anxiety lol), once again the doctors in the psych facility did assessments and discussed treatment plans and all of that.  and i had another med added in addition to removing the celexa and keeping the lamictal.  and once again, lithium was discussed, as a sort of “if these meds don’t work, we have other options up to and including this form of treatment” and once again i was given the “we would rather not go that route” talk (i’m not saying this means lithium is bad btw!  i have no experience taking it, and different meds work for different people.  i just mean it’s a little ??? that almost all media i’ve consumed that features bipolar/manic-depressive patients, lithium is usually so casually namedropped).  side note, the whole experience of being committed involved a lot of assessments of other possible diagnoses because, like, bipolar holds a lot of similarities to other disorders (shoutout to my bpd and adhd sibs!)

and when i was released from the hospital and starting seeing a psychiatrist, once again we touched on treatment options, diagnosis, etc etc.  once again i went through some mild adjustments and communication about treatment options and so on.  and, like, i guess the reason i bring that up is, i’ve had multiple different levels of assessment (general practitioner, crisis/emergency psychiatric care, specialized week by week psychiatrist), and a fair discussion of meds and options, i’ve never been prescribed lithium or even had it seriously considered.  and, though again this is all anecdotal of course, i have a fair amount of friends/associates/familywhatever you want to call them who have bipolar disorder too, and i think maybe one of them has disclosed taking lithium (shit this makes it sound like i spend all my time sitting around talking about meds and symptoms with anyone who discloses their mental illness to me lmao fuck i’m obnoxious!).

you know what med universally gets brought up though across the board?  lamictal (my uncle even got that infamous rash, so i know it’s not actually a scare tactic!).  this isn’t me saying this should be the new shorthand medication in shows with bipolar characters.  but it’s just funny to me, i guess, that my personal experience doesn’t have a running narrative of “evil personality warping lithium!!!!” instead it’s “so hey i’m having my dose adjusted on this developed-as-an-antiseizure-med and hey does this look like a cluster of pimples or is it a rash because apparently if i get a rash i gotta hurry my ass to the doctor or i’ll die”

and i don’t know if maybe experiences with psychiatric care are just radically different elsewhere in the country, or if hollywood is just being hollywood, if it’s just out of date information or if my experiences are abnormal or what.  i mean, i guess it’s more, like, some variety would be nice, maybe?  not just in meds either, but all aspects.  some variety would be cool.

[conversationswithmybipolarchild]

#2: WHAT IS BIPOLAR DISORDER?

FELICITY: Bipolar disorder is a mental illness. Key word one: “illness,” meaning you are afflicted with it. Key word two: “mental,” it being a part of the brain. 

F: Mental health is as important as physical health. They are both very important, they go hand in hand. Bipolar disorder is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Whether or not it comes upon you after a traumatic event, or when puberty hits, or if it- if you show signs when you’re born, it doesn’t matter. it is all a chemical imbalance. 

F: You are born with it, no matter what. You can go...twenty five years without seeing any symptoms, simply because you never had anything to jumpstart your bipolar disorder. But, if you have bipolar disorder, were properly diagnosed with it...you were already born with it. It was already in your brain. 

F: Bipolar disorder is categorized by highs and lows in your mood. That’s why it’s called a mood disorder [edit: it can also be called a psychotic disorder]. Not just simple, everyday highs and lows like everybody has, it’s not just “oh, I feel sad today, it’s not just, “oh, I have a lot of energy.” It’s extreme. 

ANJA: That’s why they’re called poles. That’s why it’s bipolar disorder

F: Yes, it’s the two poles, the high and the low. 

A: The mania and the depression.

F: So mania, is when you...[trails off]...

A: It’s the high. 

F: It’s the high. Mania is the high, that means you have a lot of energy, you are very impulsive, can have a lot of aggression, rage, risky thoughts, risky behaviors.

A: Racing thoughts. 

F: Racing thoughts, absolutely. Nightmares, hallucinations, hypersexuality, violence, paranoia...

A: Also, I don’t think this is an official symptom, but coming from myself and a lot of other bipolar people, you get this feeling where you’re like, crawling in your own skin. 

F: Yeah. Definitely. I hear that one a lot. 

F: So, symptoms of a depressive episode is that you...well, you are depressed. Not just kinda sad, you feel really, really, down. When I’m depressed, and I have major depressive disorder, when I’m depressed I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to take a shower. I don’t want to get dressed, I don’t want to do anything, I don’t want to be anything. 

A: There’s no motivation whatsoever. 

F: No motivation whatsoever. 

A: I don’t get depressive episodes very often because I have bipolar I, and I get manic more than I do depressed. I don’t really- I don’t have to worry about depression, unless I like, unless I have no stimulation in my everyday life. 

F: You have to stay busy in order to not get depressed. I’m the same way. If I don’t want to sit in that pit, I have to stay busy all the time. That’s why I’m constantly going, and going, and going, and doing, because if I just sit for more than a couple days, I’m in that pit and I don’t feel good. 

F: So, another symptom, another result, of bipolar disorder, is uh, suicide. There is a hefty suicide rate among bipolar people. That is- that is the worst part. And as a parent of a bipolar child, knowing the statistics around bipolar disorder and suicide, it’s enough to kickstart me into a depression. It is- it worries me. 

A: The, um, I’m not gonna say the only reason, but it is one of the biggest reasons why I didn’t try to kill myself when I was younger, was because I’m so afraid of death. Maybe not death, but what happens after it. 

F: To tell you the truth, me too. It absolutely terrifies me. 

F: So, some statistics from the NIMH, claim that 2.9% of thirteen to eighteen year olds have bipolar disorder, and eighty one percent of those kids have it severe. It’s bad enough to be hospitalized, and make their life really difficult. 

F: So I was reading earlier...about bipolar disorder, and someone asked the question, “can someone with bipolar disorder live a normal life?” And it says here, “people with bipolar disorder usually go ten years before being accurately diagnosed. Treatment can make a huge difference. It is a chronic health condition that needs lifetime management. Plenty of people with this condition do well, they have families and jobs and live normal lives.” So that ought to give you a little hope for the future. 

F: That’s...that’s the other thing. Meds...they are- in my opinion, they are a must. It’s beyond me how people aren’t medicated. 

A: I think it’s really funny how, um, how after I was diagnosed bipolar, the last thing you wanted me to do was be on meds. Now, we depend on it. We have to. There’s no choice. 

F: As you were growing up and you were being misdiagnosed all over the place, meds were the last thing on my mind. We tried every single thing else. We tried discipline, rewards, I tried diet changes, we tried all sorts of therapy, I tried changing the way that I parent! And none of it worked. 

A: Because you can’t just change those chemicals. Without medication. 

F: You can’t! Exactly. You can’t change those chemicals. Absolutely. I’m the same way with mine, my MDD. It doesn’t fix itself. I need medication to give me the right chemicals. To balance those chemicals in my brain. That is a must. 

F: So, we’ve talked about what bipolar is, now let’s talk about what it is not. It’s not learned. It’s not a discipline problem. It’s not something that you can beat out of a child, teach out of a child, train out of a child, It’s not something that’s going to go away. And it’s not something that’s just going to one day change. It’s an ever evolving illness...

A: But it’s always there. 

F: But it’s always there. And unless you’re treating it with therapy and medication, you’re fighting a losing battle. 

A: Chronic is the key word. 

F: Chronic is the key word. Bipolar disorder is a chronic illness. 

A: Which, that really scares me. Because I’ll have to live with this for the rest of my life. 

F: Let me tell you something. I’ve described severe depression as rain. Imagine you have to go out in the rain. And you have to change the tires on your car, you have to check your mail, you have to walk your dog, you have to go to work. You have to hoe your garden, mow your lawn. Daily things, but you have to do them in the rain. That’s what my brain is like every single day. I will always live doing everything in the rain. And that’s a daunting thing to think about. 

F: I can still do all those daily activities, but you know how when you go in the rain, everything’s just harder? And you’re just slightly more miserable doing them? That’s what it’s like with MDD, I’m constantly having to force myself to do things. And when I do them, I’m miserable. It’s harder for me. It’s harder for me to go take a shower than it is for other people. It’s harder for me to do things because it’s like when you’re out in the rain, everything’s just that much harder.

A: It’s like- I’ve said it before- but it’s like when you do anything, it would be much easier for a neurotypical person.   

F: It is much easier for a neurotypical person. They’re not fighting chemicals in their brain. 

A: They’re not fighting their own mind on a daily basis. 

F: Yeah! And I know that’s exhausting. I know your brain is tired. I know you’re tired. I know you are. But you can’t really think about it that way, because then you’ll get overwhelmed. I can’t think about how I will never not be in the rain. I can’t think about it...because that’s just gonna throw me back in that pit. And I can’t live my life, raise my kids, and take care of everything I need to take care of..if I’m in that pit. 

A: And it’s okay to be miserable. It’s okay to rest. 

F: As long as you don’t give up. I like Kevin Hines’s hashtag, #beheretomorrow. Today might not have been the best day, but as long as you’re here tomorrow, that’s what matters. 

F: Let’s touch on what bipolar disorder means for you- for us. What does bipolar disorder mean for you? 

A: I really hate to say this but...bipolar disorder is a part of me. And I can’t change that. I mean, sometimes I really wish I didn’t have bipolar disorder, but I don’t know what I would be without it. 

F: Absolutely. I completely agree with you. I feel the same way about myself. I don’t know who I would be. I don’t know who my father would have been, who my grandmother would have been, without mental illness. 

F: While I understand your sentiment, I think that because you’re medicated, and nobody else was, you are more you.

A: And less bipolar disorder. 

F: Yes! Exactly. When you were eight years old and running away and acting out, being violent and raging, I didn’t know who you were! I couldn’t buy you gifts, I didn’t know what you liked. I didn’t know your personality...all I knew was this child I couldn’t connect with. All I knew was this child that absolutely hated me. 

A: I was mostly bipolar disorder. 

F: One of the more prominent symptoms that you had was lack of motivation. Smartest kid ever, bad grades. It’s not that you didn’t know the work, you just didn’t turn stuff in. Soon as we got you on medication, that mostly changed. 

F: Super energy. 

A: Aggressive. Frustrated. 

F: Violent. Raging. Yeah, those were scary times. 

A: I had anger issues.

F: A lot. Yeah. You couldn’t focus on anything. I know a lot of that are symptoms of ADHD. 

A: Which is why I got misdiagnosed.

F: But its the hallucinations and the nightmares that sealed the deal. That turned things around. When we brought those up, it turned things around. That’s when the term “bipolar” came into play, and it fit. It fit you. 

F: I know that some of the symptoms in my family, that are or were mentally ill, were definitely instability. Never being able to stay put. Not being consistent. Inconsistency was huge.

A: Even me, now, medicated, I can’t stay on the same routine or the same surroundings for more than a month. I have to change something about my life, whether it be my room, or, hell, my Tumblr blog. There has to be something that changes. 

F: I agree. I’m the same way. I get very bored very easily.

F: Money! Money was a huge problem when I was growing up. You know, nobody could save. They would spend wildly. 

A: Money? You mean lack of!

F: Yeah. It was impulsive spending. That’s one of the bigger symptoms of bipolar disorder in adults. Impulsive spending. That was a huge one when I was growing up. 

F: My family was never very affectionate. They were always very distant. 

A: I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t affectionate.

F: Well, that’s the whole reason I am affectionate, is because I was starved as a child. I needed affection and I never got it. So, it was super important to me that I be an affectionate parent. I don’t know what I would do if I wasn’t affectionate either, because I thrive on being close to you guys. And I don’t want to raise you in the same situation. In an angry, distant, impulsive, unstable situation. I don’t want to raise you that way. 

F: So, what did we learn today?

F: That it’s a little scary.

A: It’s scary.

F: But it can be managed.

A: It can be managed.

F: And you’re doing a fantastic job. And I’m doing a fantastic job, and your team is doing a fantastic job. 

F: Do you remember the time we were standing outside Old Navy and you told me you wanted to buy a gun?

[blank stare]

[nny11writes]

Declarations, Mental Health, and Other Things You Never Asked Me to Explain About Myself but I’m Gonna Anyways

Ok, it's been almost a year since my last update on this and I wanted to explain myself a bit? And also share my story a bit??? 

This is all personal stuff so no need to read if you can’t handle it right now or don’t want to handle it. You’re not obligated to, but I felt it was important to share all this.

Here’s hoping the “Keep Reading” link works!

cw: anxiety, depression, mental health, suicidal ideation, nightmares

SO. Last year I had been working in a hostile working environment under an abusive supervisor for 2 years. One of the things I had done a right before I got that job (and was unemployed, depressed, and heavily suicidal) was I picked up writing fanfiction again. I had been in about a two or three year dry spell where I was writing fanfiction but never posting. Just writing it for me. And then I'd unceremoniously dropped all after posting a Mass Effect fic that had great response/reviews. Because the pressure was too much for me.

I found SW: TCW while unemployed and desperately seeking something to help lift my spirits and distract me from my known but untreated mental health. I wanted VERY desperately to find something enjoyable in life again. I was literally only alive because I was afraid of where my cat would be placed when I died. I kept seeing interesting meta posts from MyLordShesaCactus and AlexKablob about someone called Barriss Offee and someone called Ahsoka Tano. Deciding that I had literally nothing to lose I gave the show a watch.

It was a lifeline. During a time where I regularly had nightmares of being a robot that was torn apart and decommissioned, or dreams where I'd barely nick myself and suddenly start bleeding out, SW TCW became an obsession. I was years too late to the fandom but I still found active people and love for this girl who was a little Too Much and a little Too Pushy and a little Too Scared to Fail. Ahsoka hits all my bingo slots for characters I project heavily onto. And soon enough my nightmares, while still consistent, were no longer a given. Sometimes I dreamed about star wars instead. The first time I had a dream where I WAS Ahsoka Tano I woke up and cried because I'd felt so good.

Then I got hired in what I thought was a life affirming and saving way, and instead was shoved into a different kind of hell. I became so depressed that first year that I self harmed by starving myself and denying myself sleep. Which, of course, makes it worse. I started writing "Twilight" as a way to cope with my increasing intrusive thoughts about suicide and physical self harm. Then it became a way to deal with intrusive thoughts about wanting to harm others. I needed an outlet and was denying that I need medication to manage my mental health.

I didn’t expect anyone to read it and like it. I thought people would hate it. Because it was awful because I’m awful, and therefore nothing I did could be good.

But people did like it. A lot.

Then I was escorted to Psychiatric Emergency Services because I wanted to kill myself on the job. The whole episode is a little weird in my mind, time warped a bit and I remember crying nonstop and being unable to stop shouting, but when I look back what I remember most is feeling completely calm. Calm and soft and light. I think that was due to me finally verbalizing my thoughts and seeing that others did care. That I wasn’t some worthless pest to them. When I got to PES enough time passed that I got my panic attack under control, and when a psychiatrist finally saw me I downplayed the whole incident out of fear I was going to be institutionalized. I was scared as fuck in my little temp room in my little plastic chair staring at my hospital band and desperately hoping that none of the other people there would talk to me. So when I saw professionals I lied. I got a doctor’s note to stay out of work for two days and went home.

I finally had to admit to myself that I was not doing well. I was not handling my anxiety or depression. I was not ok and that it was ok to not be ok.

I was still scared to get professional help.

Instead, I spent that November participating in NaNoWriMo, where I wrote what would later become the first several chapters of “The Apprenticeship”. The first installment to the Close But No Cigar AU. I decided that I wanted and needed to write something that was happier. Ahsoka Tano made me happy and I wanted to do something good, anything good (for once in my fucking life). And convinced that I’d never done a good thing and never could, I decided to do a good thing first for a fictional character. So in I went to a story where Ahsoka Tano was an anxious wreck of a person, but had support and help and love. Into a world where Anakin Skywalker got the sort of help he needed. A place where they could all still meet and be friends and be family. Not somewhere with no pain, but somewhere softer.

The next month I finally got a PCP, and at the ass crack of 2017 I finally got medicated again.

I had already posted the first chapter of The Apprenticeship and energized by the meds and the reviews I got hard to work on finishing that story.

Funny thing about medicine, it’s a hassle and often the first thing you take is a unique struggle that requires adjustment. My first medication seemed great! For about two weeks! Then I developed a hand tremor so serious I couldn’t feed myself. That night I seriously struggled to not drive my car into the oncoming traffic lane and avoided all bridges on my way home from work. What I took helped my depressive symptoms but made my anxiety worse. The hand tremor was also a serious and rare side effect. The next day I was off that medicine and on a new one along with gabapentin to help the tremors.

Writing was difficult as fuck with my fingers shaking and twitching on the keyboard but I needed it as much as my medicine.

The new stuff worked out much better for me, we tweaked the dosage and I’m still on it. I’m glad to be on it!

Let’s do a little time skip shall we? That summer, a year after my experience at PES, I started writing Declarations. I wanted to see more Ahsoka & Obi-Wan content. They seemed like two people who should be close friends, have more of a father-daughter relationship, and general be together more than they were on screen. I found the idea of two Temple raised Jedi, who seem to break a bit from the mold and thinking of the Order, exploring their feelings for one another to be fascinating. I quickly realized that it would work really well to show that they are both mentally ill as well. I don’t like the term “mental illness” but it is accurate so I use it.

So I seeded it in from the start. I wanted to have two good people with anxiety and depression and PTSD and who knows what else find each other and help each other out! I wanted Ahsoka and Obi-Wan to be happy damn it!

So I started writing the story I wanted to see.

And unwittingly did what I had already been doing, pouring my own personal self into the story.

I’m not saying that putting some of yourself into your writing is bad, it really isn’t! Writing can be an amazing tool to explore your own experiences and sort your own feelings. I had been using it for over a year at that point to help cope with my own awful experiences, many of which I was still having to live with and through.

What happened for me is that I put a little too much of myself into this story. At the same time I was doing that my supervisor had gotten even stranger and in some ways worse. I didn’t have daily dread of being fired but I still had daily dread over who I would find when I arrived. My supervisor came in two flavors: Angry and Blaming, or Sweet and Frivolous. I still can’t decide if she was really just that abusive or if she also could use a helping hand in the mental health department. I really can’t. She did abuse me verbally and emotionally at work, she did gaslight me, she did scare me. I’m not saying that she wasn’t an abuser at all but I just don’t know if she was that way because she needs help too.

I hope she gets help if she needs it. But I’ll be grateful if I never have to see her again in my life.

Back to Declarations.

I put too much in and it had great reviews and lots of love, and I got very nervous and defensive over it. Too defensive and nervous over it. I really want to shout out to White_Ithiliel again, because she really helped me make this fic A LOT BETTER. Like, A LOT. Y’all don’t even realize what she has saved you from!! In the process she also has had to deal with my wild anxiety issues and defensiveness.

Seriously, thank you for everything you’ve done for this fic and your endless patience with me!

The latest chapter I wrote in the spring of 2018, we started going back and forth with edits in the summer, and then I panicked over a good question and point she made. She wrote back and I very nervously peeked at her cropped response (the “show less” version) sometime around October 2018. My abusive supervisor had left but I had been asked to work with/under another lady who wasn’t not my supervisor. She was almost equally bad in another direction for me. My anxiety spiked and my depression got terrible again around the time we were working on this chapter. I saw literally half a sentence and read it weirdly, panicked, had a good cry, and closed the document.

I literally haven’t been in the head space to look at it since then.

My best friend moved in with me that fall, but he’d just had a suicide attempt a few month before. My own mental health, as I mentioned, was plummeting. This past winter my depression got out of hand. I stopped going to my band practices, I nearly stopped writing, I was exhausted. The only reason I didn’t go back to eating poorly and treating myself like shit was because he was there, and just having someone be physically there who I knew cared about me made a huge difference. If I had popcorn for dinner too often, he’d make us a frozen pizza. If I drank too much (and I abused alcohol this past winter for sure), he was there to help me with the hangover and violent sickness. Thank god for my best friend! My suicidal ideation went up but I didn’t become suicidal. This was the first winter in almost a decade where I haven’t wanted to seriously kill myself at some point. I had flashes of it, moments where the bottom of the world dropped out but they lasted for minutes or hours instead of weeks and months.

I talk to him a lot about my fics and fandoms, and he very patiently listens and helps me work through it all. He lets me read him what I’ve written or what I’m reading if I think it’s funny, and we talked a lot about this chapter of Declarations and my reaction to a sincere question regarding its content and characterizations. He offered to look at the chapter with me and see what my editor/beta’s response had actually been versus what I was afraid it was.

I turned him down in November for that because I realized I needed space and time away from this particular fic. This story where I made myself into Ahsoka and Obi-Wan and Anakin, which I could no longer separate the fictional world I had created from the emotions I was feeling about my “real life”.

White_Ithiliel, I am so SO sorry I never responded. I know my silence was probably anxiety inducing too. I want to say again that you didn’t do anything wrong or rude or mean to me. I just wasn’t mentally in a place to be doing what I was doing, and needed to turn myself off and on again.

Today, after having a full week of writing and nearly daily updating fics I enjoy I realized that my life has changed since winter.

I am at a new job with wonderful people that I really enjoy. It pays better so I’m also less stressed about money. My benefits finally kick in today and I plan on getting me a therapist soon along with a new PCP. I’m doing alright. I’m doing better than I have in years.

A huge part of that is thanks to having people PM me here on tumblr and being so genuinely enthusiastic about the stories that I write. So here’s to you all for helping me through my funk over the years, giving me ideas, and giving me a damn good laugh! dontcallmebugaboo

thirdbroomstick

woeful-woods

bobkitten

Gabby(Kirasoka)

And of course ithiliel-the-french-tolkiendil (AKA White_Ithiliel)

Y’all have been life savers, maybe even more so than I realized until I decided to write this whole crazy thing out!

Thanks to all of you, even those who just leave me a kudos or a like, I’ve been trucking along. Fandom has literally saved my life multiple times, and probably will again.

So today, feeling high on my new found writing powers, I finally went in and finished editing for the latest chapter of Declarations! Hell yeah me! :D

That said! I’m putting it on a formal hiatus!

I have the next chapter written (not edited) and several chapter ideas throw out on the page, but I also think I still need more time away from this story. I want to finish Declarations (y’all don’t understand how BADLY I WANT TO FINISH IT), but I also know that right now, where we are, we are literally on SEASON ONE, EPISODE 2.

Legit the next chapter takes place after the malevolence (AKA Episode 2 of season 1).

And we are currently over 32k in.

This is gonna be a long ass haul fic everybody. I didn’t expect it to be, I didn’t mean it to be, I wasn’t planning on it. I meant for it to be maybe 10 chapters and be super vague about the timeline.

But I think I’m just as much in love with this story as a lot of you are and dang it I want more! That means I have to write more, and that means I need to give myself space to actually be approaching it as a story.

And not as something I wish was happening in my life.

To anyone still reading, thank you, this thing was long than some of the stories I’ve written! But I wanted to share this. Yes, to explain why Declarations is currently in carbonite. But more importantly to talk about mental health.

Mental health fucking sucks my dudes. It’s hard and it’s messy and sometimes it comes out of nowhere and then leaves after eating your favorite snacks and cold clocking you at 3 AM.

I’ve been on a hell of a journey.

And a lot of you are too.

I’m not “tumblr famous” and I don’t think I’m any sort of well known fandom writer. But There’s enough of you out there that I wanted to post this in case you need to know that you’re not alone out there.

If any of you EVER need to talk, please shoot me a message! I’m legit down to talk about my fics, about your fics, about meta, theories, characters, what ifs, AU’s, etc. I’m ALSO legit down to talk about mental health and all the messy things that come with that. If you want to chat with someone about your fears, your ideation, your intrusive thoughts, HIT ME UP!

You’ve all been here for me, even though you didn’t know it.

I’d like to return that favor. So anytime, anyplace, please hit me up. I promise, nothing you’ve done is unacceptable or beyond the line. 

After all, in case you’d like a breakdown of the way I had a breakdown this last year, in the span of 10 hours I literally: 

Accidentally self inserted myself into a fic and didn’t realize it until asked about why characters were acting that way, got angry over someone not knowing what I didn’t even know especially when it wasn’t explicit, then immediately felt like the Worst Person ever for getting mad and anxious, went home and cried ugly sobs on my cat, debated if I deserved to live before immediately deciding that DUH OF COURSE I DO, but that I was just a sad sack and everyone knew it, ate one single can of vienna sausage directly out of the can for dinner, washed it down with waaaay too much box wine, cried again about fictional characters because I had “ruined” them, asked my best friend (drunkenly mind you) if I was a good person because I thought I was secretly the worst and a manipulator b/c I self inserted myself into my own fanfiction, and then spent the next 6 months or so anxiously opening and closing my google doc in fear of What I Might Learn About Myself or worse the discovery that I Had Been A Bad Person b/c I stated my thought process out clearly but obviously that’s just “mean” to do because I am a bad and can’t not do mean or something! 

Like...I get why I did it but fucks sake me. It took a lot of broken logic to get there. Looking back I don’t know how I did that actually. This is a self call out. I am @ing myself.

So, yeah.

Not sure how to end this. So...uh, feel free to talk to me if you want to!

[llovtabhonit1979-blog]

So I worked with him on that during the 2 weeks I had him and he was so much better by the time he was up for adoption. On the other hand, a lot of the dogs they get are complete angels haha. A lot of times they'll even say in the transfer album posting if the dog would be good for a first time foster (these are usually the ones they describe as easygoing, couch potato, lazy). I lived an AWESOME childhood (fortunately), I had plenty I "wanted", but always stayed "hungry" per sae. That mentality followed me through adulthood, as I kept wanting to work more for things. THAT is what I want to ensure my kids have when they are adults. Had an old guy call my family house 청주출장안마 when I was in high school, and before he hung up after I explained the wrong number, he said "You sound like a smart young man, do you know anything about computers?"This ends up happening once or twice a month from that point forward. I honestly didn mind, as he was actually very receptive and cooperative (total blessing when providing IT support to the elderly) and was super funny/interesting.As it turns out he only lived a few blocks away, so he started paying me to provide support as needed. He didn have any family, so we started inviting him to have dinner with us on holidays.He ended up coming over for every Christmas and Thanksgiving for several years until he passed away. The smaller man seemed disinclined to take his companion's advice and the monster could see the muscles bunching in his thick, pale arms. The creature lurched to its feet and staggered away from the pair as swiftly as it could. The darker man put his hand on his friend's shoulder and he did not pursue the beast.. My Doctor and Therapist have always said the DSM is sort of a guide, not the end all Law of mental illness. The way doctors prescribe meds and the sort of help you need varies depending on your diagnosis and needs. All of my symptoms say type 2, but I have had exactly 2 true manic episodes. I 100% agree with you. The best way to deal with bullies and trolls is to not engage. Bullying is a huge problem in most of these subs, and it's refreshing to see these mods actually trying to do something about it. Yes. I was remembering her complaints about his controlling behaviour and the haircut was not one of them. He very much did not want her doing a film having anything to do with satan and the occult. Light reflecting makeup is really pretty neat. When you compare it to conventional makeup, it's like using clever camouflage instead of a blanket to conceal less than perfect skin. They both do the job, but light reflecting makeup blends somewhat better because it uses tiny mineral particles like crushed pearls, titanium dioxide and mica to reflect light away from dark spots, wrinkles and blemishes. Unfortunately in my line of work, I have had to work with a child molester. He absolutely hated himself. It was very psychological with him. The doctors were very encouraging and saw us as young parents were very nervous. What helped my wife and I feel the most at peace about this was how well she was taken care of by the doctors. They treated her as preciously as we did. Yes so much is 청주출장안마 deeply rooted and I have never understood the basic "white women do it too" argument when white people (and women of other races) wear wigs/extensions that mimic their hair. I don't think people would take issue with black women wearing wigs/weaves/clip ins if it looked like something we naturally produced. Even if it was kinky textured straightened hair.

[nightinghoul]

My Mental Illness + Mental Health Awareness Post:

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I made this post for Facebook a couple of years ago, before I had a Tumblr account. It's really almost more about medication stigma, which I believe to be a huge problem. And, of course, I used little brains as bullet points, because I love them! I have edited it slightly:

���I have a mood disorder. Officially, I am diagnosed with OCD and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). Unofficially, I have a lot of stuff going on that's hard to explain. Mental illness is never really so clean-cut.

🧠Medications: Yes, I am on meds. I am on 3 medications for mood swings, intrusive thoughts, and anxiety. When I don't take them, I become anxious, paranoid, extremely irritable, wound up, and weepy. I have psychotic episodes, and physical anxiety symptoms, like nausea and tremors. I have intrusive thoughts, rage outbursts, and become suicidal. When I take my meds, I feel functional, and even do art commissions!

🧠Some people think that medications make you weak, or are a cop-out. There's nothing shameful about treating your brain. I love the phrase, "If you can't make your own neurotransmitters/serotonin/etc., store bought is fine."

(I don't know the original source of this. )

🧠There is a misconception that you can just take a pill and be fine, and that isn't true for everyone. The wrong medication is just as bad, or maybe worse, than no treatment at all. (I've had a couple of bad experiences with meds, but my doctors worked with me until we found a winning combination)

🧠When I take my medication, I still experience anxiety, and I still have OCD. Its just a lot more manageable. I know that my thoughts and behaviors are sometimes irrational, and it's something I manage from day to day.

🧠I am fully capable of doing anything that anyone else can do. I have friends, hobbies, pets, etc. Mentally ill doesn't have to mean "dysfunctional". (But, I would call my childhood dysfunctional, and there's nothing shameful about going through some dark times. Sometimes a healing period is needed. For anyone, really.)

🧠We all have very different experiences with mental health, and one experience does not define another. Some people with mental illnesses have jobs, and do very well with that. Some cannot work, and they don't need judgement from others. (I do commissioned art from home, as mentioned earlier. I find many work environments very difficult to handle.)

🧠It can show up at any time in life. I started having some very serious issues in my early thirties. Before that, I functioned without medications.

🧠Loaded Word: The word "Crazy" is so controversial! Some people see it as a huge insult. Some people (like me), wish to own it, and see it as an important, and cathartic word. My advice is to just try not to be purposely mean with it, and don't police how mentally ill people use it.

🧠I think lots of people feel like I don't "seem" mentally ill. And that's why I share so much: because I am a pretty good example of someone who is mentally ill, but not dangerous or toxic, and there are plenty of us out here.

🧠 My crazy BS is my responsibility! It is not a free pass for me to be abusive to people around me.

🧠 I actually don't like to describe myself as mentally ill. It feels like a sickness, when to me, it's just part of my life. Obviously, that's my personal preference, and it's why I often use irreverent language to describe my experience. And I'm using it here, because it's technically correct.

🧠 Mentally ill is not the same as mentally challenged. While I believe mentally challenged people should have all the same opportunities as the rest of us to follow their passions and enjoy life, we don't have the same needs. And of course, anyone with any sort of difference can also have a mental illness.

🧠 I get very frustrated when I try to tell people that something affects me a certain way, because I have OCD, and they think I'm being funny. I know some jokes about OCD, and "I have OCD," isn't a very good one!

🧠 Mentally ill is not synonymous with "weird", or even "crazy". Even if I say I feel crazy sometimes, I'm not crazy all the time. But I am medicating and managing my moods all the time.

🧠 You can help mentally ill people by: Being patient and understanding, and not expecting us to just be "fixed" in a way that seems rational to you.

🧠 If you are mentally ill: It is okay to get help in the way that is best for you. That might mean therapy, holistic solutions, medications, or a combination thereof. You may spend some time in a hospital, and that is not shameful. The first step is usually to find a professional you can talk to. (I edited this to "usually" because many people don't have the means, or have been burned by professionals, and need other sources of support first.) This can be difficult, but worth it. You have the right to discuss treatments that are right for you.

End Mental Health Stigma!

[cuteandtwisted]

hi wiss! not a prompt but i just read your birthday fic for Even and I found it so touching how you treat his MI with so much care. i don't mean to intrude but do you have an MI? it sometimes sounds like you speak from experience. Do you or someone close to you have a mental illness? and what did Even teach YOU?

Hmm. That’s an interesting question. Interesting because I don’t really know., because I’m not sure I’m articulate enough to answer it. Also it’s 8am and I still haven’t slept/been stranded in airports after 3 flights. And I’m typing this on my phone. It’s funny how I always leak and ramble about myself when I’m exhausted.

Long story short: I’ve never seen a therapist and my mental state is based on what I think I know/things I read. It’s all in my head pretty much, which I realize is the same as assessing yourself physically without going to an actual Doctor. Mental illness was always so taboo in my culture growing up. It was considered a curse, an impairment, a sign of weakness of character or of bad karma. And it didn’t only speak for you and your deeds. It also spoke for your entire family. Mental illness was something we only heard about but never got to live through. It was that thing that happened to others or to that one obscure/distant family member. It wasn’t exactly real and it wasn’t nuanced either. It was a death sentence so to speak. It was an ending in and of itself.

My first direct exposure to someone with a mental illness was to my uncle. He’s my father’s youngest brother and we’re barely 10 years apart. What’s most vivid about him in my childhood memories are his height, his silky hair, his talent for drawing, although he’s never had any training, and his tendency to smoke too many cigarettes and drink too many cups of black coffee. He also happened to be schizophrenic and delirious. His symptoms started around the time his parents got a divorce and his father (aka my grandpa) got married to one of his students (i know. Wtf). He got misdiagnosed and his meds fucked with his mind a lot. He never got to finish school or pursue his dream to be an artist. I’m always sad when I think of him because he is the perfect example of someone who could have been helped but who was cursed, not by his pained mind, but by society’s stigma. He always kisses my forehead when he sees me and it always breaks my heart when I remember how scared I used to be of him when I was younger. It wasn’t my fault, I later realized. Everyone around me kept telling me that i was to feel afraid. I often hear about him ending up at the police station and at the hospital, and I often heard my grandmother complain about how he ruined her life with his sickness. Terrifying, isn’t it? It doesn’t encourage anyone who might be feeling inadequate to ever speak up.

I personally started to feel /weird/ when I reached the age of 13/14. My parents said I read books I wasn’t supposed to have read when I was younger and that it messed with my thoughts and my mind. I loved philosophy, still do. Questioning my own existence became a thing I practiced religiously. At one point I was convinced I had superpowers and that I could escape reality whenever I wished to. Sometimes, it was pleasant but not really. Like being tickled. It makes you laugh but you don’t necessarily enjoy the loss of control. I thought I could control it, but then I realized that it was controlling me. Sometimes it was terrifying because I didn’t know what was wrong with me and Google wasn’t extremely helpful either. Later I realized that I was experiencing depersonalization/derealization and that I wasn’t that special. Recoiling into one’s mind to the point of no longer being able to perceive reality was something many others experienced. I was almost disappointed to learn that I wasn’t special.

I went through some terrible experiences around that time and my moods started fluctuating. I would go from elated to extremely down, never leaving my room. My parents were constantly traveling so they didn’t really notice. It didn’t help that I was an extremely proud, reserved, contrary, and cunning teenager. My mind was my best asset and I used to my advantage. Another thing that duped most was my ability to pretend that I was fine all the time. I could be crippled with sorrow and still have a smile plastered across my face. I could entertain groups of 10 for hours then go home and cry until sleep found me. I was proud, stubborn, ‘strong’. And strong people didn’t admit to feeling weak and needing to just sleep it off sometimes.

At one point, I convinced myself that I was bipolar. I even wrote it in my diary and my anonymous blogs back then. I didn’t know much about it. I just knew that my mood swings and my depersonalization episodes had to be attributed to something. Again, i never saw a therapist, so it was all BS. I also never splurged to the point of mania. (However, I do spend money recklessly sometimes. I do jump on flights at the last moment, buy the most stupid shit just for the heck of it, shove my tongue down strangers’ throats just to feel something, drink until I’m blind and throwing up against walls. I do feel larger than life sometimes, slightly invincible, convinced I’m special and have some insight into human nature, convinced i can see right through people and read their minds. I have my moments. But don’t we all?

I also do feel down sometimes to the point of not leaving my bed for days, ignoring everyone’s calls and messages, and just curling around myself in the dark. I do. I do. But don’t we all?

Control and pride are all I have, however. So you won’t find me whining about my feelings or my mood swings in real life.)

I kept entertaining my self-diagnosis and remained convinced I was bipolar until I first met a diagnosed bipolar person at the age of 17. I didn’t know he was bipolar back then, just that people called him ‘crazy’ and a ‘fucking liar’. I knew him as my boyfriend’s best friend/neighbor. I thought he hated me for the longest time. I even imagined that he was secretly gay and in love with my boyfriend. But he wasn’t. I asked him point blank why he hated me one day and he replied with “i don’t. I’m actually in love with you.” I still remember that day so vividly. My boyfriend and I thought he was joking. He wasn’t.

My bf and I eventually broke up, after which he got shipped to another city, but I maintained my weird friendship with his best friend/neighbor. He transferred to my school when we were juniors and I took it upon myself to introduce him to people and show him around. He walked me home on Friday afternoons and made me playlists which we listened to on his iPod. We shared his earphones as we walked to my house. He started writing me poems and posting them on facebook. He called me his 'colombe’ which translates to 'his dove’ and he became fixated on me to the point of following me in the streets when I was out with friends. I remember the night he stood outside of a McDonalds with a cigarette between his lips staring at me through the window. I started feeling scared. I rejected his advances and his poems were dark and accusatory now.

He came to school with a bandaged wrist once and i was afraid of asking him what happened. My english teacher pulled me aside at the end of class that day and asked me if it was true that I had pushed him down the stairs and caused his wrist injury. I denied it because it wasn’t and i started feeling slightly terrified. The guy left a note in my bag that day and stopped me during recess to ask me to not open it until i got home.

I opened it as soon as I finished an exam early and went outside waiting for everyone else to come out. It was dark and chilly. It was November. The note he wrote me was another poem and it was written in ?blood? I was shocked and I questioned it as much as I could. It could have been red nail polish. It could have been anything. But why do this to me? Why? I didn’t understand. He came out of the school and i snapped and it was just the two of us in the dark. He had followed me outside but i was so angry and confused that i failed to see that it was just us two now. I asked him what the hell was going on and he said that he cut himself because of me and of how i treated him and that he wrote me a poem with his blood. I think i might have called him crazy. I don’t remember. I was experiencing shock in its purest form so I don’t remember everything I said.

And then he hit me. He shoved me hard against the wall and he hit me across the face, then he said that he loved me and that I didn’t understand. I still remember how the blow felt like nothing. The worst had already happened. I internalized that hit so much, and perhaps I still do. I was tiny compared to him. I can fight people, but I was shocked by how utterly powerless I was at that moment. My limbs had just stopped functioning. And to this day I still find it hard to let my guards down around men or anyone physically capable of overpowering me. Biology, and all. My best friend came out of nowhere and a fight broke because he had me pressed against a wall. Then we all went home. I never told anyone that he hit me that night. I was too proud. I still can’t believe that it’s something that happened to me.

I cut my bangs to the side that night to hide my bruise, and thankfully I have brown complexion so it wasn’t that bad. I avoided him like the plague after that, even when he crawled back to me begging for forgiveness. He later sent me long messages explaining his diagnosis and his bipolar and how he had developed an ‘obsession’ with me, how it wasn’t really him doing those things. But I couldn’t find it in me to forgive him. Being mentally ill doesn’t condone shitty behavior, it doesn’t condone physically assaulting someone. I don’t know. He traumatized me.

I developed some sort of stigma after that. I was kind of like S3 Isak (which is why i think the show changed me so fucking much) I 'chose’ to stay away from 'mentally ill people’ to 'protect myself’.

The guy in question did continue being a shitty person until everyone around town knew to avoid him. He played girls and called them sluts and lied about everything and everyone and he was just pretty horrible. And it took me some time to understand that it wasn’t because he was bipolar. It was simply because he was an asshole.

I did develop empathy for him later on when I stopped being so angry and blaming myself for everything all the time. I guess I realized that some have it harder than others? Maybe his shitty behavior was a byproduct of how he had been treated so far? Maybe it was his only outlet, his only way of lashing out against the world for 'inconveniencing’ him with an imbalanced brain? I don’t know. But i forgive him now. Because I’m sure he wasn’t always terrible. I’m sure he has lived through his fair share of horrible things. I’m sure those weeks he spent in bed were daunting. I’m sure people weren’t always gentle with him. I forgive him but i will never forget. Because some people go through hell and still choose to be kind. Because what he did, using his bipolar to justify his awful actions, is selfish and only perpetuates the stigma around bipolar.

I guess this is why SKAM changed my life so drastically? The only depiction of bipolar i had been exposed to was from this guy who traumatized me and all the crap on TV that either romanticized it or simply turned it into a trope and showed people who suffer from it as helpless and completely delirious with no chance of ever leading a normal life. I’m grateful for SKAM because not only did it erase my previous biased and erroneous views which were influenced by a rather unfortunate event, but it also made me do research and read about it and learn more. I fell in love with Even and his mind and his kindness and all the love he has in him. Life can throw crap at you, but you can still choose to be kind. And that’s what Even and his story taught me. Mental illness is not a death sentence and you can still be loved and happy

Back to your question, I guess, I still haven’t paid a visit to a therapist lol. I’m scared i might find out something about myself that i won’t like. I’m scared of being called out on my bullshit. I’m scared of leaking like a broken faucet. I get dizzy thinking about some of the crap I went through and I sometimes think it’s better left in pandora’s box, that it’s better to keep the lid on. I don’t know. Sometimes my life feels like some really badly written CW show. But I’m still happy with where I am today. Always. One day i’ll organize my thoughts and write something meaningful about the storms in my mind. But until then, i’ll borrow the voice of fictional characters to work through some of my personal experiences.

Sorry about the rambling. I’m SO angry at Delta airlines right now. I had to channel that anger into something else haha.

[wirrrp]

What kinda meds are you on? If this question is too personal, you can just delete it, I won't mind.

(readmored in case people aren’t into TMI, but also posted publicly in case any of this sounds Uncomfortably Familiar to anyone -- I’m a big proponent of meds, when properly used)

Currently, I’ve run out of my prescriptions, and I’ve been that way for a year.  But, I felt remarkably better and healthier and more humanlike when I was on:

Fluoxetine.  It’s the first thing they try you on for depression, and I‘m one of the like 60% it works out for.  They started me at 20mg, and I needed the dose upped to 40, and that was pretty comfortable.  There were two main effects when I was on it -- 

My emotional range expanded significantly.  My emotions went from “specific cause and vague sense only” to “sometimes you are just happy for no reason and that is okay”.  I also gained the reflex that makes you laugh without meaning to when something funny happens, which did not previously occur.  Even a year off the meds, some of this is still sticking around -- I smile without meaning to, and cry when I’m sad now.  I did not do these very much growing up, and they tended to be things I let myself do when I knew it was contextually appropriate to do so, rather than responses to impulses.  There are also times when I’m just happy and catch myself having an expression about it.  Weird but positive change, even if I sort of miss having a consistant poker face.

Energy level improved dramatically, and executive dysfunction became impressively manageable.  I still had bad habits from a lifetime of depression, but I could just spontaneously decide to do things that needed to get done, and frequently did.  I was tired less.  I had more of whatever energy it costs to be around other people (yay introverts).  When I felt bad, it was easier to pick myself up instead of sleeping it off.

Vitamins.  I could probably skip them if my diet and lifestyle were less garbage, but that’s not happening, so specifically:

Vitamin D is great because I do not go outside as often as I should.  It helps me manage the borderline narcolepsy, and stay conscious and energetic for more than 8 hour stretches, which makes keeping a normal schedule easier.  Maintains energy level and positive mood.  Considering my current borderline stress-narcolepsy, I should really get back on this one.

B supplements are also great for energy regulation, and typically come from eating fruits and vegetables, which I do not. I noticed that I tended to have a better day after drinking energy drinks that brag about their B-vitamin energy blend, so I tried some vitamins on their own, and lo and behold, it worked without the caffeine and sugar.  It feels like they help with a different kind of energy than vitamin D does, since neither they nor D work on their own, but the two together work out for me.  Your mileage may vary.  I think these were the Introvert Energy and Spoon Supply, without actually making it easier to start tasks.  It made finishing them easier though.

Iron supplements are important because I am chronically anemic due to another quirk of my body chemistry.  I don’t eat enough meat and spinach either.  Sometimes I get dizzy if I overwork myself, and need to take a second to lean against something or sit down.  Physical exertion is hard and uncomfortable.  Constant low blood pressure.  When low in iron, I feel a little flimsy, and can’t maintain working on a task for long stretches without a break -- with the supplement, it’s easier to stand for long periods, to carry heavy things, to push my limits and work when tired.  Good stuff.  Blood’s important, people need that.

Lastly, birth control pills.  Those not fond of TMI can skip the rest of the post, and I highly recommend penis-wielders particularly do so, but you do you.

Birth control may sound odd on this list, but it’s not actually about sex -- what they do do for me is artificially regulate my hormones.  I’m not convinced that my body produces hormones on its own, or if it does, it does so very irregularly and at ineffectually low levels.  It’s hard to describe the general feeling of health that having these things managed by an outside source gave me.  I think I remember the doctor saying something about estrogen and progesterone when I got them, but it’s been ages.

I’ve been describing a lot of mental stuff, but imagine those descriptions in a physical way.  Imagine your body just feeling good and healthy for no reason, instead of just sort of existing.  Imagine “healthy” as a mood that your body can feel.  Maybe normal people feel that way?  I don’t know.  Anyway, the main thing that had the doc assign this to me was irregular, heavy periods (”Once a month for 3-5 days?  lol.  How about 1-4 times every 8 months, for 1-6 weeks each.  Also wear the biggest overnight pads you can find, 24/7, and double them up.”), combined with a few other physical symptoms of poor hormone regulation (mild facial hair and a low voice probably didn’t hurt).

Extra special bonus, these things usually come with a placebo week that’s designed to let your normal cycle happen...but the doc said I could skip that.  For a while, I skipped having a period entirely and it was delightful and amazing.  No more ruined clothes, no more surprises, no more “I guess I’m just physically invalid this week, and possibly for 1-2 more until it decides to go away, i guess I’ll work that into my schedule”.  They were about as expensive per month as buying pads would’ve been, or less, and very very very worth it.  This also rendered the iron supplements about 50% less necessary, but I kept taking those anyway with no ill effects, until I stopped doing meds entirely.

Being able to be a neutral human, who does not bleed, and feels healthy for no reason, and can initiate tasks, and can work on something for more than an hour at a time, and does not need to sleep every 6-8 hrs, is a very useful set of traits.  Being happy and having my face just do things without my permission is just novel icing on the cake.

Everybody’s body works differently, but that is the chemical blend that worked for me.

[allenmendezsr]

The Migraine And Headache Program! - Blue Heron Health News

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The Migraine And Headache Program! - Blue Heron Health News

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    I used to suffer from migraines.

Not headaches. Not bad headaches. Not even severe headaches.

Migraines.

Shocking, excruciating, life-denying, throbbing horrible migraines.

The kind of pain that frequently made my eyes water – if not cry.

The kind of pain that drove me to my bed… my place to hide away, to escape from the world and soak in the torment that was my regular migraine attack.

My migraine history wasn’t much different from many other people’s.

They started off bad. Then, over time, they got worse.

At first they were throbbing pains on one side of my head. Sometimes they were not too awful. Occasionally they were manageable.

As months and then years rolled by they steadily worsened.

They became more frequent.

They also lasted longer.

When they first started they’d be over by the next day.

But they eventually ran into more than two days – and those two-day migraine attacks disrupted so much in my life.

As time wore on my neck began to hurt.

My sensitivity to light and noise became more acute.

Originally I would sleep the migraine out in my own bed. But as they worsened even the slightest sound my partner made caused me pain.

In the end at the onset of a migraine I had to retreat to our second bedroom… to be alone and away from everyone and everything.

Another thing: I’d always felt nausea with my migraines.

But that nausea eventually became actual vomiting.

Nobody likes being sick – but I really, really hated it.

Strangely, of all the horrible symptoms of my migraines it’s the fact that I am no longer sick that makes me most happy!

Migraines Changed My Life

As my migraines became worse my life also changed as a result.

At first, when they had been less severe, I had simply dealt with them as they arose.

As the migraine wore on I would shut myself away in our spare bedroom, close the door, pull the curtains and almost literally hide under my duvet.

I’d close my eyes and try to will the pain away.

The onset of the migraine slowed me down. The migraine itself more or less rendered me useless. And the day or two afterward left me drained, sluggish and deflated.

Those headaches robbed me of 3 or 4 days of life.

The things I couldn’t do, the plans I had to suddenly cancel….

But I quickly found it wasn’t just the migraine itself that affected my life.

The fear of them – the realization that they could hit me at any time – influenced so many of my plans and my actions.

A simple example:

I couldn’t take a job where I had to be alert and on my toes all day. Or where I would be dealing with customers.

It had to be a job where – putting it bluntly – I could be quite ill from time to time… and then make up for the lost work hours in my own time.

After all, who would hire me if my migraine actively hurt their business?

The sheer unpredictability of my migraines made even the most ordinary things difficult.

I could drive short distances – but longer distances always created a problem. What if I became ill at the other end of my journey? Who would I call to pick up me – and my car?

My productivity – both in my personal and work life – was heavily knocked by my migraines. At times I simply couldn’t do a thing for myself or for anyone else.

One of the worst things about migraines occurs when you’re not even experiencing one.

It’s the fear of them.

Because just not knowing when to expect the next attack… wondering if a migraine will suddenly pop up and ruin a busy day at work, a trip to the cinema or a social gathering with friends….

The mental effort of dealing with background worries about when it will strike next was exhausting in itself.

Those years of suffering migraines were difficult years indeed. I don’t miss them!

So Many Migraine Remedies – But So Little Success

There are millions of migraine sufferers and, before I finally cured mine, I searched everywhere for some sort of relief.

But although there’s tons of information out there I gradually realized it all pretty much falls into just two categories:

Take meds, get treatment – medical stuff, in other words

Avoid the triggers that turn on the migraine attack in the first place

There’s a hierarchy of treatments – each one a step on from the previous one.

There’s lots to try, plenty to fail at and, of course, an array of potential remedies to spend your money on.

I tried plenty. I spent plenty of dollars too.

And no matter what I tried there was always something else I could have a go at just around the corner.

Not All Doom And Gloom?

Of course, some medications do work – in some ways.

There are so many variations of migraine sufferer. And, with so many medications on the market, it’s inevitable that sometimes a sufferer and a medication are just right for each other.

A match made in heaven, you might say.

The sufferer doesn’t usually get rid of the migraine. They still attack when they least expect it – but the meds make it more manageable.

For the rest of us though it can be a case of either soldiering on through the pain and nausea – or just sitting it out in darkness and silence until it goes.

And as I found, the meds rarely work in the way we’d like them to.

As in, getting rid of the migraines once and for all.

Sure, plenty of individuals get some relief from their symptoms from time to time.

I knew people whose drugs – if taken at the earliest stages of a migraine – would help make the migraines less severe than they would otherwise have been.

The results though are unreliable. Sometimes those same people will take their meds early and… the migraine rushes in anyway.

As if they’d never taken them at all.

My doctor warned me about taking too many drugs for my migraines. He pointed out the irony that taking too much medication had the side-effect of… medication over-use headache.

A headache caused by my headache medications!

I did laugh when he told me that. But it’s actually not that funny.

Migraine Remedies Are Hope-And-Pray Remedies

In fact, during my battle with migraines I developed a theory: that when a condition has so many medicines – and absolutely none of them work reliably for all or even most sufferers – then the condition itself is not properly understood.

When I suffered migraines I would try the various medications and treatments one at a time. And with each I would just hope – hard – for relief.

I quickly discovered that ‘hope’ is not a good strategy.

I also realized that the drugs companies are actually ‘trying things out’ – and, at best, getting temporary, short-lived successes. Their offerings were hit-and-miss – unreliable and uncertain.

And they’re tackling symptoms, not causes. If they successfully tackled causes then migraines would end.

But people like to pop pills because that’s easy to do – and we’re conditioned to believe there’s a pill for every problem. And pharma likes to sell pills because they make a lot of money.

So pills it is.

For A While I Thought Tackling Triggers Was The Key

On the brighter side, I found a lot of conversation around what triggers migraines.

Triggers are emotional, physical, environmental or dietary events that set your migraine in motion.

There are literally dozens of different potential triggers. Most people’s migraines are affected by just a handful of them.

The trick is to work out the few that affect you most – and then do your best to avoid them.

The avoidance of triggers was my favorite approach.

It’s free of cost to do because it mostly requires you to stop doing certain things.

More than that, it held out the hope of a cure for my migraines. If I could just pinpoint the one or two things that caused my migraines I could simply make sure I never did them again. And everything would be fine after that.

If only.

Addressing triggers does make some sense. For about half of us there are things that we can identify as prompting the migraine to start.

The thing is: how do we know what they are?

Easy Said, Not So Easy Done

Identifying your personal migraine triggers can be quite difficult. For some of us our triggers are almost impossible to spot.

For sure, if you can spot one or two triggers then it can make a world of difference.

I should know. When I first started out trying to cure my migraines I tried everything imaginable. And triggers seemed to me like a good place to start.

Turned out it was.

I found a guide to triggers online – with some very helpful advice on how to spot and deal with my own. The guide was created by a gentleman by the name of Christian Goodman.

I worked through his guide and two things happened:

I realized I had a couple of primary triggers mostly around posture and stress. As triggers these two are pretty difficult to address – especially the stress. But at least I knew. At least I had something I could do about my migraines.

I now had a tool that I could use to reduce the effects of my migraines. True, I was never able to prevent them – but if I got things right they were sometimes less intense. Given the awfulness of my migraines anything was better than nothing.

It was genuinely uplifting to suddenly have some control over what was happening to me. Even if I couldn’t actually stop it.

But here’s the thing.

Managing triggers is very difficult.

First, they’re hard to identify – and I suspect that I still had one or two unidentified triggers for my own migraines. Often, you think something is a trigger but it isn’t – it’s actually just a symptom.

Then, some triggers are just very difficult to manage.

If your trigger is in some of the food you eat then if you’re lucky enough to be able to identify that food then you can simply stop eating it.

It’s more difficult if it’s a whole food group – dairy, say, or wheat. But it’s still doable. You can cut these things out.

But what if your trigger is something harder to get a hold of… more difficult to properly address?

Background stress perhaps. Nervousness. Low mood. Energy loss.

This kind of stuff is normal.

It’s part of everyday life for everybody who has a job or a family – or a job and a family.

For some people a level of anxiety or stress is just their normal default state. It’s part of their make-up.

For almost everyone, we find that such triggers are a common part of our lives at some point. Whenever things get tough, when we work harder than usual or when we miss out on some sleep… that’s when the trigger comes into play.

Managing them is extremely difficult.

But Triggers Are Part Of A Dangerous Migraine Myth

The medical profession is united in one thing: they admit they don’t properly understand the causes of migraines.

Almost everything that’s ever said about migraines in the medical press has nothing to do with curing the migraine itself.

We talk about triggers – and managing them can help.

We talk about meds – they’re expensive but have some beneficial effects sometimes for some people.

But meds deal with a migraine that’s either about to happen or is in full flow. Meds are usually too late.

And triggers – which are good to identify and are where most people’s hopes lie – are not the actual cause of migraines.

Let me repeat that.

Because too many people think that if they get rid of their migraine triggers then they’ve tackled their migraine’s cause:

Triggers are not the cause of your migraines.

Here’s a way of thinking about this that makes it clear:

Why can some people drink a bucket of coffee and feel nothing while someone else drinks a cup and suffers 72 hours of migraine hell?

How come Bob gets exhausted after a couple of stressful days at work but recovers after a good night’s sleep… but John – who works with Bob and had exactly the same experiences – goes home to wild thumping head pains, ghastly light sensitivity and vomiting?

How come Bob is refreshed the next day while John has to shut himself away for 48 hours to cope with his blisteringly painful headaches?

It can’t be the triggers. Can it?

Both had exactly the same experience at work. Both came home tired and stressed.

So both had the same ‘triggers’.

Yet one is fine the next day while the other has severe migraines.

There must be something else at work here.

If you read Christian Goodman’s trigger guide that I mentioned a moment ago you’d realize that migraine triggers are everywhere. They are food triggers, psychological triggers, dietary triggers, environmental triggers…

Endless triggers for migraines.

Most of life is a migraine trigger!

We all encounter migraine triggers almost every day of our lives.

Yet only some of us actually get the migraines.

I used to get migraines regularly. You still do I’m guessing.

But my sister doesn’t get them. My best friends don’t either. My boss never has a headache, let alone a migraine.

They all experience many of these typical migraine triggers though.

Migraine triggers without the migraine.

What on earth is going on here?

The answer is this: the triggers aren’t your migraines.

They aren’t even the cause of your migraines.

If you think they are then you’ve been duped.

Consider this:

The trigger is triggering something isn’t it? So if we address that something… aren’t we getting to the root of the problem?

I think so.

Actually, no.

I know so.

Why do I say this with such certainty?

Because I found out something a short while ago. Something that I was able to make use of to put paid completely to my migraines.

It’s not exactly a secret because so many people do it now but… it’s not widely publicized by the medical industry.

You want to know why?

Here’s a clue: it doesn’t require meds, potions or surgeries. It doesn’t cost a penny to do it. There’s nothing for sale.

Let me tell you about it.

The Missing Link: What Cured My Migraine Forever

Notice I say ‘cured’.

Not ‘reduced’ or ‘helped’ or ‘made it a little better’.

Maybe what I learned will only reduce your migraines. I’d have been happy with that. But it ended my migraines. I haven’t had one for 14 months and counting.

For me this revelation has been one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Here’s what happened:

As I mentioned earlier, I had been using a guide written by Christian Goodman to identify my migraine triggers.

And it had certainly helped. I narrowed down several psychological and one possible dietary factor (some types of cheese) that seemed to set off my migraines.

By addressing those factors I managed to reduce the severity of some of my migraines. I still got them but sometimes they were noticeably less intense than normal. I was grateful for that.

Better still, my recovery was quicker. I previously had migraines up to two days at times. What I learned from Christian’s guide made sure I never got a two-day migraine again.

That guide is no longer available. But you can still get it directly from Christian.

I’ll tell you how shortly. It won’t cost you anything either.

But Then… Along Came Something Astonishing

One day, Christian contacted me and asked me if I would be part of a small trial group for some exercises he’d developed.

These exercises weren’t your usual keep-fit kind of movements. They were designed to tackle migraines at their root cause.

Christian told me that the intention wasn’t to relieve migraines but to eliminate them.

To get rid of them once and for all.

There were no drugs involved nor did I need to go to a gym, a therapist or buy special equipment. None of that.

He asked me, Would I like to take part in the trial?

Of course I would!

Before he sent me my initial instructions he told me what the thinking was behind these new exercises.

I was absolutely astonished by what I heard.

First, Christian explained how migraines worked.

Discovering The ‘Bit In The Middle’

The detail that matters is easy to understand – and it’s this: a migraine is the end result of a very short chain of events.

It’s a sequence basically and at its simplest here’s how the sequence works:

trigger > thing that gives you the migraine > migraine

The trigger affects something in your body. And it’s that something that causes migraine pain.

The trigger is the agent, not the cause.

It’s that something that is the real culprit.

It’s the bit in the middle that holds the key to your migraine pain. And its cure.

Because saying the trigger causes migraines is like your team winning a game and me claiming they won because the referee blew the starting whistle.

Yes, the starting whistle got things going but something else – in this case the team – won the game. The team was the cause of the win.

Migraine triggers are like referee’s starting whistles. They get the thing going – they trigger it. But the migraine itself is caused by the ‘something’ that the trigger sets in motion.

The medical profession either addresses the trigger – to prevent or reduce the migraine – or the migraine itself – usually drugs to reduce its effects.

They ignore the middle bit of the sequence – the ‘something’ because… well, they don’t know properly what it is.

But here’s what Christian told me:

He explained that oxygen therapy had been tried out for people suffering very severe headaches – migraines included – and that the therapy had some notable successes.

The therapy hadn’t cured the migraines but…

… given an oxygen canister and a mask patients in the middle of a painful migraine experienced genuine improvement in their condition. The improvements were quick – although disappointingly short lived.

But what Christian spotted was that migraine might simply be caused by lack of oxygen getting to the brain.

If that’s so then if you tackle that before a migraine even started then… haven’t you just cured migraines?

Not reduced it or improved it. But cured it?

Now, doctors already had oxygen-deprivation on their list of suspects for migraines. There was already a suspicion that a shortage of oxygen to the brain was a cause of migraine.

The experience of people directly inhaling oxygen at the point they were suffering migraines strongly supported this theory.

And migraine forums contain stories from people who say that if they go running – very fast – at the onset of a migraine then they can head off its worst symptoms and perhaps not have such a painful episode.

Running pumps blood hard around your body and into your brain.

And with that blood comes lots of oxygen…

So Christian wasn’t claiming to have invented the migraine cure he now wanted me to try out.

But he explained it to me this way: if oxygen was reaching my brain in sufficient quantities naturally – before there was any sign of a migraine – then doesn’t the problem of oxygen-deprivation disappear?

If your brain was always getting its supply of oxygen naturally then the cause of my migraine – lack of oxygen to the brain – is gone.

Isn’t that why some people get migraines and others don’t – because some people have healthy supplies of oxygen getting to their brains while others don’t?

Christian thought so. As it turned out, I believe he was right.

But do we really need oxygen tanks and masks to oxygenate our brains?

Do we have to run fast around the track in order to head-off a migraine attack?

No.

Thankfully we don’t.

Sure, oxygen tanks and running are both ways of getting oxygen to the brain.

But if the oxygen is already there then they aren’t needed.

And that’s where Christian’s program comes in.

Christian told me about the ways in which oxygen is prevented from properly reaching the brain in our everyday lives.

He was surprised to discover that the causes of this are varied but well understood.

There’s no mystery to any of this.

Two Plus Two Equals Four!

All he did was link it all together.

If specialists suggest that migraine agony is caused by lack of oxygen to the brain….

And the causes of lack of oxygen to the brain are pretty well understood…

Then doesn’t solving the oxygen-to-the-brain problem also cure migraines?

Christian answered this with a ‘Yes’ – and his uniquely simple migraine program was born.

And the program is indeed very straightforward: it’s just a set of movements that you perform at home.

I tried them out. All of them.

And they worked.

And Here’s How

So how did they work?

Was this some kind of magic?

Some sort of secret exercise discovered by ancient wise men deep in some south American jungle?

No, not at all.

This is what I learned from Christian:

Our brains need a lot of oxygen to function properly.

Some 40% of our oxygen intake goes straight to the brain – or it does if you’re healthy.

Oxygen arrives at the brain in the same way that it arrives at any of our body’s organs: it’s carried there by our blood.  

Many leading migraine specialists believe that migraine headaches are caused by a restriction of the blood supply to the brain. Restrict blood to the brain and you’ve restricted oxygen to the brain too.

Oxygen-deprivation in the brain is a serious matter – and the body takes it very seriously indeed.

It rushes blood to the brain – and so we experience a sudden and rapid increase in blood pressure inside the head.

And that’s where the pain comes from.

It’s as if your brain is literally swelling up against the inside of your skull, trying to burst out.

Which I remember clearly as being my experience of migraine pain.

Every pulse of my heart felt like a shockwave blasting through my skull, so painful that it made me wince.

Specialists Have Known This All Along

None of this is new.

What Christian has done is simple but very, very effective.

He’s linked the medical facts and addressed the cause of the low-oxygen.

Again, low blood oxygen has a number of causes – most of which are fairly well understood.

In a nutshell, we don’t breathe in properly. We don’t breathe out properly. And the air we do get into our lungs doesn’t adequately get to our organs and brain.

Again this is all medically verified.

Here’s what happens:

We don’t breathe in properly

I must admit, I initially found it difficult to believe I wasn’t breathing properly.

It’s such a natural thing to do – how can I be doing it wrong?

Turns out that millions of people simply don’t breathe in deeply enough to inhale sufficient oxygen to meet their bodies’ needs.

There are two reasons for this:

First, too many of us sit down way too much – at home, at the office, in cars.

Sitting for extended periods is now widely regarded as almost deadly to our health.

Amongst many other downsides it causes our posture and breathing infrastructure to weaken and sag due to lack of proper use.

Which physically ruins our ability to take in large, healthy lungfuls of air.

Second, modern life brings its own stresses and strains. Long hours, tight schedules, family responsibilities, job demands, not enough sleep, money concerns – all the usual stuff.  

And when we’re worried and tense or worn out and sleepy then we naturally breathe in less deeply. Our bodies are more tense and our breathing is medically proven to be less efficient.

We mostly don’t notice this happening to us – but this is exactly what is happening.

So again we’re reducing the amount of oxygenated air that gets into our lungs – and then into our body and our brain.

We don’t breathe out properly either

I found that pretty hard to believe too.

What could be easier than breathing out?

But I found out it’s true – and it’s a deadly failing.

When you breathe out you’re expelling carbon dioxide – a waste gas that is the natural consequence of breathing. Carbon dioxide is a poison.

But modern life – sitting watching tv, riding in the car and so on – plus general tension in the body means we’re not properly expelling carbon dioxide.

Which in turn means some of that carbon dioxide just sits in our lungs – which is where it absolutely ought not to be.

And while it’s there it’s taking up space where oxygenated air should be.

The oxygen we do get struggles to reach our brains

Turns out not breathing properly isn’t the only problem.

There are more than 70 muscles in the neck, face and head region.

Tightness in these muscles isn’t uncommon. If enough of them are too tense for too often then they actively restrict blood flow to the brain.

And in our modern lives muscle tension is widespread. Fatigue, stress… and looking down at laptops and smartphones creates huge tensions throughout our shoulders, necks, faces and heads.

We don’t always notice it because we’re so used to the stiffness.

It’s been with us for years or even decades.

But those tight, constricted muscles make it very difficult to get oxygenated blood to our brains. The tightness acts as blockages – valves if you like that have been turned to the ‘off’ position.

I know this was true for me. One of the very first things I noticed when I tried Christian’s exercises was just how tense my neck, face and head muscles had become.

And just how lovely it felt when they became relaxed and soft for the first time in years!

Nothing New Here

I’ll repeat this for good measure: Christian Goodman hasn’t single-handedly discovered the cure for migraines. He’s not claiming to have done that.

What he’s done is taken widely accepted medical facts and drawn them together to create what is, in many respects, an obvious remedy for migraines.

His program – called The Migraine and Headache Program – makes use of these well-understood facts about how our bodies do – and don’t – work.

For me, The Migraine and Headache Program addressed each problem area: first, not breathing in and out properly. And then oxygen not being able to reach my brain properly.

In a short period of time those problems had gone away.

And when the problems were resolved so was my migraine. Because they were causing my migraines.

Nothing Complicated Here Either

The exercises in The Migraine and Headache Program are gentle and mostly stationary. There’s no jumping around or any kind of vigorous activity at all.

Better still, as the exercises take effect and your migraines subside you can perform fewer of them. Today I do just enough exercises to keep the problem at bay.

In fact, Christian calls them ‘exercises’ but I call them ‘movements’.

To my mind, exercises are things you work hard at that make you sweat.

Whereas these movements are not hard work and they don’t make you sweat. In truth, most of these movements involve very little movement at all.

It’s mostly lots of easy standing or laying in one position or another. My kind of exercise to be honest!

But there’s power in these movements. Because they’re loosening muscles that have become tight and constricted… so tight that they’re stopping oxygen-rich blood getting to the brain.

Much of the program’s effectiveness comes from the fact that it focuses on small areas of the body that you wouldn’t normally give much thought about.

I was a little surprised initially at the exercises. I’d done yoga for more than a year so was used to difficult, strenuous stretches. If anything would have eased tense muscles I would have thought yoga would have done it.

Turns out that’s not so.

Several of Christian’s exercises were mostly ‘lying around’ exercises. They required almost no effort. More than once I nearly dozed off doing them.

But that’s pretty much all there is to it.

Once muscles have been loosened and relaxed blood flows much, much more easily. And when blood flows more easily it is much better able to carry oxygen to your brain.

And when your brain is getting all its oxygen it doesn’t create migraines.

So you can trigger all you like. If the cause of your migraine is no longer there then there’s nothing there to trigger.

Hope And Prayers Answered!

I am forever grateful for the day that Christian Goodman asked me to try out his Migraine and Headache Program.

I did everything he told me to and the results came quickly.

Migraines still occurred for a very short while.

But the very first migraine after I started his program was noticeably less severe.

It started mid-morning. And it wasn’t pleasant to be honest.

But it didn’t reach the throbbing agony I’d become used to – and it was mostly over by late evening.

I’d never had a migraine resolve itself so quickly.

Over the next three weeks I did all the exercises exactly how he told me to.

My next migraine was a shadow of its former self. I actually continued with my day stopping only for an hour or so when it peaked. But it was a far cry from what I was used to.

But it was a special migraine for me. I’ll always remember it.

Because it was the last one I ever had.

14 months later and while the memory of migraines hasn’t faded I have long stopped fearing the next one.

Because there isn’t going to be a next one.

I had already tried everything before being offered the chance to try out Christian’s program.

As I mentioned earlier, handling triggers brought some relief. But his exercises were a revelation for me.

And they have been for the several hundred people who have followed this program since then.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that these simple movements transformed my life.

I’m simply not the same person I was before.

Then, I was a migraine sufferer.

Now, I’m free.

It’s your turn now.

You can have the same program that I got. It’s tried, it’s tested. And it’s easy.

I didn’t need to go out and buy any equipment.

I didn’t need to join a gym – thank goodness.

Not a cent on meds. Not a cent on treatments.

No more doctor surgeries, clinic waiting rooms or consultants’ rooms.

I just stayed at home and did the exercises at odd moments during the day.

One exercise I’d do in the kitchen. Two others I’d do in the bedroom after my shower.

A couple I did while watching television.

Life didn’t stop for these exercises. I just incorporated them into my daily routine.

Now, I do one or two a day at most. I vary them throughout the week.

By maintaining that basic flexibility and balance I know I’m protecting myself for the rest of my life.

I really couldn’t be happier.

Yours is waiting – click below and get it now.

Send me my guide please

There’s Nothing To Lose

Well, there is – migraine agony.

But you might have concerns that all that pain you’ve experienced can’t be cured by some simple exercises.

I would understand that. I was quite skeptical when Christian first presented me with his program.

Over time I’d spent way more than $3000 on a variety of medications, adjustments and other treatments – just to cope with my migraines.

Yet, for the price of 4 weeks of pain meds, he was suggesting he’d do what the specialists had failed to do: cure my migraines.

I believed in him because his Triggers Guide worked so well. But even so, it was a bit of a stretch.

Of course, now I know that all along he knew what he was doing.

Because his remedy was neither made-up or invented by him.

It was, in fact, a scientifically-valid approach to addressing migraine pain.

What Christian has done is put his remedy into a clearly-explained and easy-to-follow program. Everything you need is in the guide.

It’ll work.

If within 60 days of purchasing the program you’re not rid of your migraine misery then he’ll give you your money back. No questions asked. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

Something Extra…

I told you earlier that I first heard of Christian Goodman when I bought his Migraine Triggers Guide.

Following his advice I uncovered at least two major triggers for my migraines – and probably a third (cheese, of all things).

Managing those triggers helped me reduce my migraines attacks from 2 days or more to little more than a day. And their intensity reduced with it.

You might want to address your triggers while you wait for the migraine exercises to take effect.

The guide cost me $97. Today, you can have a copy for free. It’ll come automatically when you order your copy of The Migraine and Headache Program.

This is a limited offer – best to act now so you don’t miss out.

So – how about you?

I don’t know how long you’ve suffered with your migraines.

Maybe it’s reached the point of being truly awful and life destroying.

Possibly, like I once was, you are fearful of the next attack… anxious about how it will disrupt whatever you’re doing at the time… nervous about how you’ll cope.

But hopefully it hasn’t reached that stage yet.

Which means you can tackle it before it does.

Get your copy of Christian Goodman’s ‘Migraine and Headache Program’ now.

It costs the same as a typical month’s migraine meds – but works forever. And unlike your meds, this program comes with a 100% money-back guarantee.

Get your guide – and your free bonus Trigger Guide – here:

Send me my guide please

Nothing will change until you get Christian’s guide. But when you do… then it can all change.

And it can change quickly and beyond recognition – as I found out for myself.

Remember: these exercises are devised around sound medical principles. There’s nothing mysterious about them.

But the effects are truly out of this world.

Your copy of the guide is here – and you’ll get Christian’s ‘Triggers’ bonus too. It will be with you in minutes so don’t miss out:

I need that guide now

You’ve tried the standard remedies and – my guess is – they are having little effect or no effect.

Certainly, they’re not doing the job you want them to do. You wouldn’t be here, searching for migraine remedies if you were truly satisfied.

And that’s the experience that too many of us have.

That’s how it was for me once upon a time. But I had a stroke of luck and found my lifelong cure. Let’s see if it’s your lifelong cure too.

Get the program now. Get the bonus now. And get your money back if they don’t work.

You deserve this. You need it. Putting it off won’t solve a thing. Be good to yourself.

Click below and start your recovery from migraines.

I’m ready – send it

[psychotherapyconsultants]

Podcast: Helping a Friend with Mental Illness



Even if we live with mental illness, ourselves, we can be frustrated when we don’t know how to help a friend or family member who’s dealing with it. We may find that coping skills that work for us may not work for someone else. Medications that work for us may not work for the other person. In this episode, Gabe and Michelle discuss how to help friends with mental illness, including the help available through caregivers, medication, and more.

  SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

“And I wonder to myself, ‘Why do you tolerate this s**t?’” – Gabe Howard

  Highlights From ‘Helping a friend with mental illness’’ Episode

[1:00] Fun with stereotypes.

[4:20] Gabe reads a letter from a listener.

[6:30] How can you help a friend who is struggling with mental illness?

[7:30] What’s up with caregivers?

[9:30] How can you help yourself during a manic phase?

[13:30] How can psychiatric medications help?

[22:00] When are we not okay?

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Helping a Friend with Mental Illness’ Show

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: For reasons that utterly escape everyone involved, you’re listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. Here are your hosts, Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer.

Gabe: My name is Gabe Howard and I have bipolar disorder.

Michelle: Hi Michelle, schizophrenic.

Gabe: And together we’re hosting a podcast. That’s where we got the name.

Michelle: Whoooooo!

Gabe: I think we’ve made that joke like four times in the entirety of the show which is now well over a year.

Michelle: Wow, Gabe I’ve known you for so long.

Gabe: You couldn’t even fake enthusiasm.

Michelle: I’m enthusiastic, I’m so happy.

Gabe: Have you taken your meds?

Michelle: Yes.

Gabe: Isn’t that was still the number one question that makes our audience cringe?

Michelle: I can’t stand that question.

Gabe: Now you know that I’m just kidding like I watched you take your meds because I don’t want you to hurt my dog. Stereotypes are funny. They’re also very offensive and insulting. And this show really aims to both break down stereotypes and use them for humor. So we have sort of a schizophrenic goal. Oh shit. Did I do it again?

Michelle: Oh, no, you did. This weather is just so schizophrenic.

Gabe: No, no, it’s bipolar. See that doesn’t offend me. That’s actually a really interesting point. I’ve heard you say that the weather is schizophrenic offends you. When people say that the weather is bipolar that does not offend me.

Michelle: I think that makes a little more sense because they mean one day it’s sunny one day it’s raining or cold. And schizophrenic weather I don’t get it because I’m like, what is the weather hearing right now?

Gabe: So you’re saying that the reason that the weather is schizophrenic is offensive is because the weather is not hearing voices?

Michelle: I just don’t understand how it makes any sense. What are they thinking that schizophrenia is that the weather it could possibly be schizophrenic?

Gabe: That’s a good point there.

Michelle: Is the weather delusional? Is the weather thinking that it’s raining, so it’s raining? Or is the weather sunny because it’s believing a delusion of sunnyness? I don’t get it.

Gabe: That’s a good point. When somebody says the weather is schizophrenic they probably mean that it’s like erratic or maybe unwelcome or violent or uncomfortable. So therefore the weather is schizophrenic and I can see where that would be. You’re right that is a lot more insulting than the weather is bipolar which like you said it was rainy one minute and sunny the next.

Michelle: I think it’s just people that don’t know what schizophrenia is and they just want us say something like maybe they think they’re smart. Like that when people say the word “conversate” and say it like they think it’s an actual word.

Gabe: Yeah.

Michelle: When the real word is converse.

Gabe: Right.

Michelle: They think they’re smart like we were just “conversating” saying like no no you sound like an idiot when you try to sound smart like that. Not a word. Conversate is not a word conversating is not a word. Don’t say the word conversate in front of me. I will think you’re an idiot.

Gabe: You know the one that I hate the most? The word “irregardless.”

Michelle: Is that what?

Gabe: It’s not a word. Regardless it’s not a word it’s regardless just just regardless. You don’t need an “irr.”.

Michelle: I don’t think I’ve even heard somebody say that.

Gabe: You know what I also hate? This literally makes me die.

Michelle: That doesn’t make any sense.

Gabe: Right? It figuratively makes you die.

Michelle: Yes. Because then.

Gabe: You’re literally an idiot.

Michelle: Because then you’d be dead. It literally made you die. You’d be dead. But you know and then the British they say literally?

Gabe: Literally?

Michelle: Why do they say literally?

Gabe: How would you know, you’ve never left the country?

Michelle: Yes I have.

Gabe: When?

Michelle: And plus there’s always British people on TV and there’s British people in movies and they say literally and they say Tuesday and they say schedule.

Gabe: So we’ve got an e-mail. We actually just drop these things in to see if people from across the pond are listening. If somebody writes in, “We did not like Michelle Hammer making fun of our entire culture and country.” We’re like hey we’re breaking in the U.K. We do get a lot of e-mail and we are going to try to answer more and more e-mails in future episodes. So bop over to PsychCentral.com/BSP and you’ll be able to see the form to ask us your own questions.

Michelle: Ask us anything.

Gabe: Megan sent us a nice long e-mail and she asked a lot of questions. We decided, hey, we might as well address them because you know we ran out of show ideas. She wrote I just started listening to your podcast and I’m trying to understand bipolar disorder more. So this works because it’s going to be about me. I would love to hear an in-depth discussion about how the brain works with someone who has bipolar disorder. Let’s kind of stop there for a moment. Gabe Howard lives with bipolar disorder.

Michelle: And I’m schizophrenic.

Gabe: And neither one of us are doctors.

Michelle: I am not a doctor.

Gabe: We don’t even play one on TV.

Michelle: No.

Gabe: We don’t even have like Neil Patrick Harris Doogie Howser.

Michelle: Not even.

Gabe: Yeah.

Michelle: We’re not even a kid doctor that’s a genius.

Gabe: Nothing. We’re not even a therapist.

Michelle: But I like brains.

Gabe: So you do not want to get in depth information about how the brain works with bipolar disorder from Gabe and Michelle.

Michelle: Or we can just make something up.

Gabe: We could. We can make something up. The brain works by firing synapses. Aww, shit, that’s actually correct.

Michelle: Synapses. There’s a misfire in synapses. That’s why that’s. It’s a misfire. And there is serotonin.

Gabe: Serotonin, there’s a word. Dopamine.

Michelle: Dopamine.

Gabe: You’re a dope, I mean, sorry.

Michelle: You’re dope, I mean, you’re a dope, like I mean, yo.

Gabe: Like the brain for as much as we need it and as much as we talk about it and the fact that everybody has one is a really misunderstood organ. So you really just don’t want to get information from anybody because they just don’t know.

Michelle: You gotta donate your brain to science, Gabe. There you go.

Gabe: I did. Harvard gets my brain when I die.

Michelle: Oh, that’s so nice of you.

Gabe: It’s the only way I’m getting into Harvard.

Michelle: OK.

Gabe: Who’s getting your brain when you die?

Michelle: I haven’t thought about it yet but I’ve gotten a brain scan that I gave to Mount Sinai Hospital.

Gabe: That was really cool.

Michelle: Yeah. The next question we can answer, though. It’s what are ways to help someone with bipolar disorder?

Gabe: The best way to help people with mental illness is to do something. So many people ignore the symptoms of mental illness because they don’t know what to say. They don’t know what to do and therefore they do nothing. Doing something is so much better, and some ideas are: talk to the person directly, encourage the person to seek mental health help, if the person is a danger to themselves or others, take them to the doctor or call 911 and stay with them provide support. The bottom line is so many people watch people spiral out of control from a distance because they don’t want to get involved. They don’t understand it. They think that it’s a moral failing. Or they go over and they start yelling at the person and they’re mean to the person and they demand that they get better.

Michelle: And you really have to be there for the person. Don’t run away. Stay with them, and try to educate yourself like Megan is trying to do.

Gabe: Megan is an excellent example of somebody that’s trying to do something. Her whole letter, which we won’t have time to read, it asked many many questions. And I sincerely hope that Megan, upon hearing this episode, doesn’t think oh well I’ve got all the information that I need in 20 minutes. That’s not realistic. You need to get on PsychCentral.com and read a lot. And also people who are trying to take care of people with mental illness, see your own therapist.

Michelle: Yes.

Gabe: You know being a full time caregiver to somebody that is really really sick that’s a lot.

Michelle: Caregiving is not easy. And then there’s also support groups for caregivers.

Gabe: A lot of people don’t realize that when it comes to mental illness. For alcohol addiction they have like Al-Anon. It’s for people who love somebody who is an alcoholic.

Michelle: Or like PFLAG.

Gabe: Exactly, which is?

Michelle: I don’t know exactly what it stands for, but it’s the parents of gays and lesbians.

Gabe: Really? You can’t get Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays out of PFLAG?

Michelle: Right. That’s right. You know, it Gabe!

Gabe: Why do I know more about your culture than you do?

Michelle: Whatever whatever whatever.

Gabe: There’s all kinds of support groups that are set up for the ancillary characters. And that’s really how I like to say it. They’re not people that are suffering, or have the impairment, or the issue that, you know, is at the core of this. But they’re still impacted by it. They are still impacted by something that happened to somebody else and they need and deserve support as well.

Michelle: Yeah, you’re not alone. You’re not alone. There’s bazillions of caregivers for people with mental illness and they need people to talk to as well.

Gabe: Exactly.

Michelle: Pause on that. Let’s take a break and hear from our sponsor.

Announcer: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counselling. All counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist, whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Gabe: And we’re back talking this e-mail.

Michelle: So Megan specifically asked this one question of how can they help themselves when they’re in a manic phase?

Gabe: That’s really tough. I mean, both Michelle and I have experienced mania and once you’re manic you’re it’s hard you’re kind of gone.

Michelle: Yeah, me specifically, let’s say last week I kind of had a manic phase. I even went to the doctor, just that my regular therapy psychiatrist doctor, and I was just in there and he’s kind of said to me you know you’re acting kind of manic right now are you OK? And I go Oh I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine everything is fine. And then I was kind of like hanging out with my friends and they were like Are you OK right now? You are acting a very very strange. What is going on? And that’s when I kind of self reflected and I was like I am totally manic right now. I need to do something about this. But I am an experienced with dealing with myself so I know what I need to do. So someone who’s newly into having a mental illness and finding it out for themselves, they need to learn what they need to do. So they kind of need to educate themselves. So, Gabe, what did you do when you didn’t know you were having manic episodes?

Gabe: I mean if you don’t know, you’re not going to do anything. Because mania, for as bad and as nasty and awful as it is, it feels good. It feels fantastic. I don’t think the average person who’s feeling fantastic would think to themselves hey what do I need to do to fix this? Especially with bipolar disorder, because there’s so much depression and suicidality and deep dark pits.

Michelle: Right? And you’re finally happy.

Gabe: Yeah. You’re finally happy. Why would you want anybody to fuck with that?

Michelle: I know. And then everyone’s telling you what are you doing why are you acting like this. You’re like What? I’m happy right now I’m having a great time Why are you trying to kill my jam? I’m doing great.

Gabe: Yeah. I would argue that one of the first things to getting better with bipolar disorder is this acknowledgment that all extreme emotions can be dangerous. People just have this belief that you can never be too happy. They’re like wait you can be too happy? What, can you be too rich? Look I don’t know if you can be too rich, but you’re can absolutely be too happy.

Michelle: I would love to be too rich.

Gabe: I can see that. Would you be like Scrooge McDuck?

Michelle: Like diving into my coins and stuff?

Gabe: I can see you getting rich and filling up like a giant bin full of money jumping into it and just immediately breaking your nose and smashing your face. That seems like the idiotic thing that you would do.

Michelle: I would not do that. But I might take a bath in money naked.

Gabe: Duck Tails. Woo hoo. I want to touch on another part of your story that you brought up, Michelle. Which is you were listening to the people around you when your doctor said it you were like OK and when your friends said it you were like OK. This takes some time to build. Obviously, Michelle, we’ve discussed that you have to really be in touch with your emotions to be able to know that you’re in a manic stage and know that you need to do something. That’s really the first thing that you have to learn. But once you’ve learned that so you realized you were manic. What did you do about it?

Michelle: Well when I noticed my friends were getting frustrated with me and bringing up that I was manic and you know they didn’t like it they weren’t enjoying it. They were kind of saying what’s going on? I was like you just took a seat on the couch took a couple of deep breaths, had some water, and just settled and self-reflected and just calmed myself down. Really just calmed myself down and realized how I was acting. I kind of got sad that it happened. I was upset that I got so manic. I was upset that I let myself get manic. So I just kind of got sad about it.

Gabe: Isn’t that kind of like one of the really shitty things about being mentally ill? You just described that you had a symptom of your mental illness and now you felt bad for it.

Michelle: Yeah.

Gabe: That would be like feeling sad that you have the symptom of the flu because you blew your nose.

Michelle: Yeah yeah.

Gabe: There’s a lot of regret when it comes to mental illness. Now I think you know Megan’s talking about her boyfriend a lot here and one of the things that she wants to know over and over again is you know how can he stop? How can he lessen things? And we’re trying not to make this episode about well just take your meds and you’ll be fine, because that’s not helpful.

Michelle: Yeah. Going on meds isn’t even easy, especially newly diagnosed. How do you know you’re going on the right med at the right time? How much meds do you need? What’s going to work what’s not going to work? That’s a whole new thing. That’s a whole process. So you can’t just say take your meds and you’ll be better. You don’t know what meds, what your meds are going to be?

Gabe: But it is helpful.

Michelle: It’s helpful of course. The journey of medication is it always leads to a better life. Well it did with me and you.

Gabe: Yeah.

Michelle: So I would say that is a good journey.

Gabe: But along that journey, to be fair, that journey does involve nasty ass things happening to you. From the time I started medication until the time I got to you know recovery was four years. Clearly that journey was worth it because now I can live well. But there was some issues along the way. It wasn’t like this nice beautiful country road. There were traffic jams. I wrecked my car a couple of times. Gas is incredibly expensive. I’m glad that I got from point A to point B, and I’m proud of myself for doing so. But I think so many people hear just take your meds. Just be med compliant. Meds have no downsides. Meds have incredible amounts of downside. She’s talking about her boyfriend who wants to manage bipolar disorder without the help of medication. I don’t think that’s possible.

Michelle: I don’t think that’s possible either.

Gabe: But I can understand why he’s scared. I mean her boyfriend wants to manage it without them and I really believe that he wants to manage a bipolar diagnosis without meds for two reasons. One, having to take medicine is shitty.

Michelle: Yes.

Gabe: I mean it’s a reminder every time you put those pills in your mouth that you are different from everybody else.

Michelle: Absolutely.

Gabe: It’s also seen as a sign of weakness.

Michelle: Yeah.

Gabe: Well you’re so weak. You need medication.

Michelle: Absolutely.

Gabe: And it’s not just that you’re weak, your brain is weak.

Michelle: Yeah.

Gabe: And your brain is where like your personality and your intelligence is stored. So your personality and your intellect, the core of who you are, is broken.

Michelle: That’s just one of the things that you think. It is.

Gabe: And it is hard to get over that because it sounds so sensible at the time but that’s just so incredibly stupid. It really is when you think about it. If you lacerated your arm right now and just a big old gash and just blood was pouring out and like your nerves in just a big old gash.

Michelle: Yeah, yeah, I get it.

Gabe: And a doctor comes in. The doctor comes in and says I’m going to stitch that up for you so that you can heal and you say no.

Michelle: I want to keep bleeding.

Gabe: I want to keep bleeding because I’m going to will the laceration closed on my own because I’m in control of my arm. It’s my arm. You will not do stuff to my arm. Or what if you broke your leg? I will fuse the bones together without medical intervention. We have people that live with diabetes and have to take insulin. They they don’t say no no no my chemistry is flawed. Or you know, I say chemistry, I actually have no idea how diabetes works, except that people take daily shots and those people live better. It’s the same way with mental illness. I’m really trying not to say stigma, but it’s got this stigma surrounding it that there is somehow a moral value in treating mental illness. I think there’s a moral value in not treating mental illness.

Michelle: You said there were two reasons why he didn’t want to take medication.

Gabe: I did give two reasons.

Michelle: You gave two reasons?

Gabe: Yes, you’re just not paying attention.

Michelle: OK fine.

Gabe: I’m not. Reason number one because taking pills reminds you that you’re different. Reason number two.

Michelle: Stigma?

Gabe: Number two, no not stigmas. Stop yelling stigma. What are you? Every single mental health advocate in the world?

Michelle: Person first language please.

Gabe: I apologize. You’re a person living with stupid ideas that you’re spewing out on our show. The first one was taking pills makes you feel different. The second one is that people feel there’s a moral value in taking their medication because they should be able to control their brains without help.

Michelle: Okay gotcha there. Gotcha. That’s one and two. Take notes people.

Gabe: Somebody who’s newly diagnosed with any mental illness, but especially bipolar disorder, they’re just reminded about how their brain is not working right and how they’re different and how they need to do better. And it’s a scary prospect but this is what I would want to say to this person if he were sitting in front of me. The medication will give you better control of your brain. It will allow you to use more of your faculties. You choose to take the medication so you are in charge. It’s no different than using a car to drive faster. It doesn’t make you weak. It’s just a shortcut. I don’t want to walk 20 miles to school. I want to drive 20 miles to school. It makes me intelligent that I’m smart enough to use a car to get there faster and safer. It makes you intelligent that you’re smart enough to use medication so that you can get there faster and safer. And then once you have better control of your brain you can start making decisions and doing what you want and controlling it just so much better.

Michelle: Yeah. I’m reading more of this letter and it seems like he’s so anti medication that he’s almost hurting. Really he’s like he’s distressing himself because he’s not going to doctors because he’s being told by doctors that he needs meds. So I mean if you’re going to go to a doctor for help and then refuse the help, why are you going to the doctor?

Gabe: Because he wants to hear something other than that. And you know he is right. There’s a line in here, “It sucks when everyone just tells him medication will work and they don’t give him any other options.” That’s irresponsible as well.

Michelle: It is. It is.

Gabe: We should point that out because medication while very helpful is not, I repeat not, the only thing.

Michelle: Group therapy for him as well. Why doesn’t he talk to other people who were told they are bipolar?

Gabe: Exactly.

Michelle: He can talk to other people and find out if they’re on meds. Then he can feel like oh if they’re bipolar and they’re on meds and they’re doing this maybe I’m not alone. You know maybe he feels alone with his disorder? But then will he go to group therapy is a whole different question, you know?

Gabe: I have no idea if he would or not. But the point that is being raised in the e-mail and that’s all we have we just have this e-mail. You know maybe they’re lying. I don’t know. But I’m going to take them at their word. What they’re saying is that he goes in and says to his doctor I have bipolar disorder what can I do to get well? And the doctor says your best option is A. And he’s saying look I want to be a health care consumer. And I don’t agree with A. I don’t want to do A. And his doctor is saying then forget it I’m not going to give you anything else. I’ll say that A is the best option. I agree that A is the best option. But he’s telling us, his patient is telling us, that he’s uncomfortable with A. Do you have a B? There is a B. Go to therapy. Go to group therapy. Use peer support. Talk to other people with mental illness. Discuss with a therapist why you’re so afraid of medication. Get more research on what exactly you think medication is going to do that you want to head off. He might have like a really really good reason to not want to take medication. Maybe he is a concert pianist and he has heard that medication causes tremors? That’s a very very common thing. And he is afraid that if he starts taking medication he will not be able to play the piano anymore. Now he’s not being ridiculous. Now he’s safeguarding something that is a passion of his. That is his whole life.

Michelle: Now I’m checking my hands.

Gabe: I know. We both lifted up our hands. We’re like hey there’s a look. Look.

Michelle: Do my hands tremor?

Gabe: Yeah, look.

Michelle: Your hands are trembling, am I?

Gabe: Yeah. You’ve got a little tremor there. Yeah. Look. Look at the pen.

Michelle: Oh, snap! I’ve got hand tremors.

Gabe: Yeah. But see, it doesn’t bother you because you don’t need fine motor skills for your job.

Michelle: I could never be a surgeon.

Gabe: You could never be a surgeon. You could never.

Michelle: There’s way more reasons why I could never be a surgeon.

Gabe: I could see you being a surgeon. You’d be like I’m here to operate, bitch.

Michelle: I’m here to operate. I’ll be a plastic surgeon. You want some big titties? I’ll give you some big titties. Oh yes.

Gabe: I also in this e-mail she says that she’s been dating this gentleman for six and a half years now, which is a long time. That’s like a solid relationship. That’s like all of my marriages wrapped into one. And she says that she can’t tell when he has a manic episode. She can tell when he’s depressed. And you know I kind of recognize how you can tell when somebody is depressed. It is very difficult sometimes to notice mania until it’s too late. Because sometimes you’re positive that mania is happening the minute they leap off the roof into the pool before then you just think through the life of the party they’re fun and they’re happy.

Michelle: One driving 105 miles per hour down the highway.

Gabe: Yeah. And you don’t want to tell somebody that’s like enjoying life. I mean I have driven a hundred miles an hour. I have. I’ve done it. And that’s probably maybe not the safest thing. I mean the speed limit was 70. I went 100. That’s 30 miles and over but it wasn’t because of mania. But you know what if it was? So how can somebody tell when Gabe’s driving 100 miles an hour because hey he drives a fucking Lexus and he wants to turn up the stereo really loud and race down the road? Or is he driving really fast because he’s manic? Remember the other day when we listened to I would Do Anything for Love at literally all the way to the top volume and drove 100 hundred miles and you like sang and recorded it and put it on Facebook.

Michelle: Yes.

Gabe: Yeah. The police came our court date is in like two weeks.

Michelle: Now shut up. No it’s not.

Gabe: You don’t know. It really was a bad idea to film it. You’re a moron.

Michelle: Filmed the speedometer.

Gabe: Michelle, we really get a lot of e-mails from caregivers, family members, significant others ,and they ask the same questions over and over: what can I do? How can I help them? And I really wish we had the answer, because we’d be rich.

Michelle: Scrooge McDuck rich.

Gabe: Right?

Michelle: Yeah.

Gabe: That’s the kind of thing that you could sell for tons of money. So I want people to know there are no easy answers because so many people are looking for that magic bullet. There isn’t one. And I think about like an email like this where she’s like You know I’ve been with this man for six and a half years and I love him and I want to help him but it sounds like for six and a half years he’s been symptomatic and just caused her problems. So it’s rough because there’s this little part of me that wants to say to people man why do you tolerate this shit? Maybe this isn’t the best relationship for you? Maybe you need to save yourself? I struggle with this in my own marriage. I’m not saying this to just her. I also think about this for my friends or my wife. Why does she want to put up with this? And I don’t know the answer, but I do know that if I want people to love me, I have to pull my own weight. And no matter how hard you try, you can’t make your loved one be better. They have to work on it on their own. They have to want it. The most that you can ever do is help them. But a lot of these emails they’re asking how to do it for them. And that can’t be done.

Michelle: A relationship is a partnership. And you can’t just help your partner if they won’t accept help themselves. You have to work together and you have to want to get better. To have a successful relationship that works well you’ve got to do what’s best for yourself.

Gabe: Truer words never spoken, my friend.

Michelle: I’m a true word genius. We’ve been conversating for awhile now. Thank you for writing in Megan. We hope that everything turns out OK. We hope we gave you some great advice. We hope we helped you and I hope that everything goes well in the future.

Gabe: And we believe that it can, because if for nothing else, we’re incredibly optimistic.

Michelle: You bet.

Gabe: Don’t people always say that about us, Michelle? That Gabe and Michelle, they’re so optimistic.

Michelle: I don’t know why people say that.

Gabe: I don’t know because everything sucks we’re all going to die. It is true. I mean everything does suck and we all are going to die someday. Maybe the optimism is that we don’t think we’re going to die today?

Michelle: Oh yeah, not today.

Gabe: Not today.

Michelle: Not tomorrow.

Gabe: Not tomorrow, either.

Michelle: One day.

Gabe: We’re fine for the weekend.

Michelle: We’re fine for this. Yeah. Yeah. We’re good. We’re good.

Gabe: We’re good for at least the end of the month.

Michelle: Yeah totally totally we got this. We got this. No accidents, no heart disease. You know the number one killer. None of that.

Gabe: Well that was depressing.

Michelle: Sorry.

Gabe: I probably do have heart disease. Oh now you gotta bring that up.

Michelle: Oh no. Heart disease and mental illness. The next episode.

Gabe: Please subscribe to our show on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, Spotify, or wherever you downloaded this podcast. Please share on social media. Tell all of your friends about it. We don’t have a huge advertising budget, but what we do have is your loyal support. Thank you so much. We’ll see everybody next week on A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to A Bipolar, a Schizophrenic, and a Podcast. If you love this episode, don’t keep it to yourself head over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app to subscribe, rate, and review. To work with Gabe go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle, go to Schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups, head over to PsychCentral.com. This show’s official web site is PsychCentral.com/BSP. You can e-mail us at show@PsychCentral.com. Thank you for listening, and share widely.

Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts

GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.

  MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/podcast-helping-a-friend-with-mental-illness/

[littlewalken]

June 18

Well, I thought there was going to be sorting between the circus stuff, I have a couple of circus book boards, and “steampunk” for a different book. There really wasn’t much that would be specifically “circus” so for now it’s all back in one pile. Still needs more sorting to make it easier to find price tags, maps etc. 

Not to say I’m tired of resting but I’m getting a bit tired of resting.You don’t realize how much bending, squatting, and just getting up and down from a seated position you do or should do until you have to take a moment and think how is my circulation feeling before you do it. 

I like fidgeting and getting up and down to ADHSquirrel because it helps keep me fit. I thought the dizziness was a bit of brain injury and family history of stuff with vertigo and some ear gunk allergy stuff. It was normal to think that pushing through the mild balance things because I was training my inner ear to balance. Not crazy ass running around stuff, just normal walking and standing. 

With my hit and miss mobility I’ve had personal goals of still walking at a certain age, nothing more than a cane at another, mobility scooter when the Olympics return to America... I’m looking for a walker with a seat at the junk stores so I’ll always have a seat now. 

That funny feeling walking around the store wasn’t because it was a hot day and lunch hadn’t got to your blood sugar yet, it was because my body was trying to figure out how to disperse what little hemoglobin I had left while looking for a jewelry tree and snatching up a couple of on sale sketchbooks. 

Just walking around a box store could have put me in the hospital.

But I still wasn’t wrong in thinking a good part of my symptoms were brain and back injury related. No matter how much potassium I take I still get leg cramps and the stuff around my C5 and C6 are still swollen and uncomfortable.

There’s still doll thoughts too. I have Barbie furniture to sort out in storage but that is waiting on the dollhouses getting together so I can see what I need but that is waiting on the new to me shelves getting in my room which is waiting on my getting better. And it involves taking Ignoritall because when my health issues are in someone else’s way...

I want to pick out a better body for Guy Man than the Ertl, it’s too fragile. I want to figure out how to dye or change the color on the old Gene doll I have. She’s already discolored from age and bald. I want to do an art doll thing of her. I have a Trent and Madra too and at last look they were holding up. My Orientdoll fits Trent sized clothes which is nice. 

They were part of a pre website idea to collect pairs of dolls, which also kicked in around the same time I started taking meds, and that mindset is another one I don’t want to get back in to because I was having freak outs about not having certain dolls or stuff etc. 

Rement/plastic crack doesn’t count but I don’t want to go back there. 

And there’s no knowing what of all that was just the anemia. I do know I needed to take meds for awhile to treat some health issues at the time so I do want to encourage readers to talk with their doctors about all treatment options. 

I can’t say it was a general women ignoring their health symptoms thing because I told the doctors I was seeing what was going on with my body. None of the dots were ever connected. I also happened to live in a household where health complaints were a sort of competition and my sister, who got a lot of attention as a child for being in the hospital and going to the doctor, is still so determined to win that she has to one up me. She has to have fibromyalgia, which I can believe some people really suffer from, compromised immune system, a mental illness she’s spoon fed excuses for, and any other special snowflake complaint she can think of. 

So I learned years ago not to bring up any health complaints unless it looked like something was broken or the bleeding wasn’t going to stop. I’m on fire but my sister has a hang nail so she comes first. 

Now I can only hope I can control the anemia and have a quality of life. 

Oh, but if it means home healthcare to do chores around the house and get us a handicap parking placard then we’ll listen. 

So yeah, I am so able to move out.

So tired and bored from resting. All the scrapbook stuff has been sorted in to separate bins at least. I have folios of 11x17 copy paper and plenty of book boards to make a book to paste stuff in for the sake of pasting it in to something and using it. A pack of tabloid paper and a long arm stapler (which will be your biggest expense) and you can make copy paper books to your heart’s content. 

If I had a book making friend to visit they’d go home with presents. I got to use or get rid of a bin or two of that stuff because it’s just time.

Didn’t get to arting yesterday and only a bit of transcribing writing notes but there’s hopes for today. Gotta play a nice long Cure concert and just do it.

Or watch the next calico catermellon.

[allenmendezsr]

The Migraine And Headache Program! - Blue Heron Health News

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The Migraine And Headache Program! - Blue Heron Health News

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I used to suffer from migraines.

Not headaches. Not bad headaches. Not even severe headaches.

Migraines.

Shocking, excruciating, life-denying, throbbing horrible migraines.

The kind of pain that frequently made my eyes water – if not cry.

The kind of pain that drove me to my bed… my place to hide away, to escape from the world and soak in the torment that was my regular migraine attack.

My migraine history wasn’t much different from many other people’s.

They started off bad. Then, over time, they got worse.

At first they were throbbing pains on one side of my head. Sometimes they were not too awful. Occasionally they were manageable.

As months and then years rolled by they steadily worsened.

They became more frequent.

They also lasted longer.

When they first started they’d be over by the next day.

But they eventually ran into more than two days – and those two-day migraine attacks disrupted so much in my life.

As time wore on my neck began to hurt.

My sensitivity to light and noise became more acute.

Originally I would sleep the migraine out in my own bed. But as they worsened even the slightest sound my partner made caused me pain.

In the end at the onset of a migraine I had to retreat to our second bedroom… to be alone and away from everyone and everything.

Another thing: I’d always felt nausea with my migraines.

But that nausea eventually became actual vomiting.

Nobody likes being sick – but I really, really hated it.

Strangely, of all the horrible symptoms of my migraines it’s the fact that I am no longer sick that makes me most happy!

Migraines Changed My Life

As my migraines became worse my life also changed as a result.

At first, when they had been less severe, I had simply dealt with them as they arose.

As the migraine wore on I would shut myself away in our spare bedroom, close the door, pull the curtains and almost literally hide under my duvet.

I’d close my eyes and try to will the pain away.

The onset of the migraine slowed me down. The migraine itself more or less rendered me useless. And the day or two afterward left me drained, sluggish and deflated.

Those headaches robbed me of 3 or 4 days of life.

The things I couldn’t do, the plans I had to suddenly cancel….

But I quickly found it wasn’t just the migraine itself that affected my life.

The fear of them – the realization that they could hit me at any time – influenced so many of my plans and my actions.

A simple example:

I couldn’t take a job where I had to be alert and on my toes all day. Or where I would be dealing with customers.

It had to be a job where – putting it bluntly – I could be quite ill from time to time… and then make up for the lost work hours in my own time.

After all, who would hire me if my migraine actively hurt their business?

The sheer unpredictability of my migraines made even the most ordinary things difficult.

I could drive short distances – but longer distances always created a problem. What if I became ill at the other end of my journey? Who would I call to pick up me – and my car?

My productivity – both in my personal and work life – was heavily knocked by my migraines. At times I simply couldn’t do a thing for myself or for anyone else.

One of the worst things about migraines occurs when you’re not even experiencing one.

It’s the fear of them.

Because just not knowing when to expect the next attack… wondering if a migraine will suddenly pop up and ruin a busy day at work, a trip to the cinema or a social gathering with friends….

The mental effort of dealing with background worries about when it will strike next was exhausting in itself.

Those years of suffering migraines were difficult years indeed. I don’t miss them!

So Many Migraine Remedies – But So Little Success

There are millions of migraine sufferers and, before I finally cured mine, I searched everywhere for some sort of relief.

But although there’s tons of information out there I gradually realized it all pretty much falls into just two categories:

Take meds, get treatment – medical stuff, in other words

Avoid the triggers that turn on the migraine attack in the first place

There’s a hierarchy of treatments – each one a step on from the previous one.

There’s lots to try, plenty to fail at and, of course, an array of potential remedies to spend your money on.

I tried plenty. I spent plenty of dollars too.

And no matter what I tried there was always something else I could have a go at just around the corner.

Not All Doom And Gloom?

Of course, some medications do work – in some ways.

There are so many variations of migraine sufferer. And, with so many medications on the market, it’s inevitable that sometimes a sufferer and a medication are just right for each other.

A match made in heaven, you might say.

The sufferer doesn’t usually get rid of the migraine. They still attack when they least expect it – but the meds make it more manageable.

For the rest of us though it can be a case of either soldiering on through the pain and nausea – or just sitting it out in darkness and silence until it goes.

And as I found, the meds rarely work in the way we’d like them to.

As in, getting rid of the migraines once and for all.

Sure, plenty of individuals get some relief from their symptoms from time to time.

I knew people whose drugs – if taken at the earliest stages of a migraine – would help make the migraines less severe than they would otherwise have been.

The results though are unreliable. Sometimes those same people will take their meds early and… the migraine rushes in anyway.

As if they’d never taken them at all.

My doctor warned me about taking too many drugs for my migraines. He pointed out the irony that taking too much medication had the side-effect of… medication over-use headache.

A headache caused by my headache medications!

I did laugh when he told me that. But it’s actually not that funny.

Migraine Remedies Are Hope-And-Pray Remedies

In fact, during my battle with migraines I developed a theory: that when a condition has so many medicines – and absolutely none of them work reliably for all or even most sufferers – then the condition itself is not properly understood.

When I suffered migraines I would try the various medications and treatments one at a time. And with each I would just hope – hard – for relief.

I quickly discovered that ‘hope’ is not a good strategy.

I also realized that the drugs companies are actually ‘trying things out’ – and, at best, getting temporary, short-lived successes. Their offerings were hit-and-miss – unreliable and uncertain.

And they’re tackling symptoms, not causes. If they successfully tackled causes then migraines would end.

But people like to pop pills because that’s easy to do – and we’re conditioned to believe there’s a pill for every problem. And pharma likes to sell pills because they make a lot of money.

So pills it is.

For A While I Thought Tackling Triggers Was The Key

On the brighter side, I found a lot of conversation around what triggers migraines.

Triggers are emotional, physical, environmental or dietary events that set your migraine in motion.

There are literally dozens of different potential triggers. Most people’s migraines are affected by just a handful of them.

The trick is to work out the few that affect you most – and then do your best to avoid them.

The avoidance of triggers was my favorite approach.

It’s free of cost to do because it mostly requires you to stop doing certain things.

More than that, it held out the hope of a cure for my migraines. If I could just pinpoint the one or two things that caused my migraines I could simply make sure I never did them again. And everything would be fine after that.

If only.

Addressing triggers does make some sense. For about half of us there are things that we can identify as prompting the migraine to start.

The thing is: how do we know what they are?

Easy Said, Not So Easy Done

Identifying your personal migraine triggers can be quite difficult. For some of us our triggers are almost impossible to spot.

For sure, if you can spot one or two triggers then it can make a world of difference.

I should know. When I first started out trying to cure my migraines I tried everything imaginable. And triggers seemed to me like a good place to start.

Turned out it was.

I found a guide to triggers online – with some very helpful advice on how to spot and deal with my own. The guide was created by a gentleman by the name of Christian Goodman.

I worked through his guide and two things happened:

I realized I had a couple of primary triggers mostly around posture and stress. As triggers these two are pretty difficult to address – especially the stress. But at least I knew. At least I had something I could do about my migraines.

I now had a tool that I could use to reduce the effects of my migraines. True, I was never able to prevent them – but if I got things right they were sometimes less intense. Given the awfulness of my migraines anything was better than nothing.

It was genuinely uplifting to suddenly have some control over what was happening to me. Even if I couldn’t actually stop it.

But here’s the thing.

Managing triggers is very difficult.

First, they’re hard to identify – and I suspect that I still had one or two unidentified triggers for my own migraines. Often, you think something is a trigger but it isn’t – it’s actually just a symptom.

Then, some triggers are just very difficult to manage.

If your trigger is in some of the food you eat then if you’re lucky enough to be able to identify that food then you can simply stop eating it.

It’s more difficult if it’s a whole food group – dairy, say, or wheat. But it’s still doable. You can cut these things out.

But what if your trigger is something harder to get a hold of… more difficult to properly address?

Background stress perhaps. Nervousness. Low mood. Energy loss.

This kind of stuff is normal.

It’s part of everyday life for everybody who has a job or a family – or a job and a family.

For some people a level of anxiety or stress is just their normal default state. It’s part of their make-up.

For almost everyone, we find that such triggers are a common part of our lives at some point. Whenever things get tough, when we work harder than usual or when we miss out on some sleep… that’s when the trigger comes into play.

Managing them is extremely difficult.

But Triggers Are Part Of A Dangerous Migraine Myth

The medical profession is united in one thing: they admit they don’t properly understand the causes of migraines.

Almost everything that’s ever said about migraines in the medical press has nothing to do with curing the migraine itself.

We talk about triggers – and managing them can help.

We talk about meds – they’re expensive but have some beneficial effects sometimes for some people.

But meds deal with a migraine that’s either about to happen or is in full flow. Meds are usually too late.

And triggers – which are good to identify and are where most people’s hopes lie – are not the actual cause of migraines.

Let me repeat that.

Because too many people think that if they get rid of their migraine triggers then they’ve tackled their migraine’s cause:

Triggers are not the cause of your migraines.

Here’s a way of thinking about this that makes it clear:

Why can some people drink a bucket of coffee and feel nothing while someone else drinks a cup and suffers 72 hours of migraine hell?

How come Bob gets exhausted after a couple of stressful days at work but recovers after a good night’s sleep… but John – who works with Bob and had exactly the same experiences – goes home to wild thumping head pains, ghastly light sensitivity and vomiting?

How come Bob is refreshed the next day while John has to shut himself away for 48 hours to cope with his blisteringly painful headaches?

It can’t be the triggers. Can it?

Both had exactly the same experience at work. Both came home tired and stressed.

So both had the same ‘triggers’.

Yet one is fine the next day while the other has severe migraines.

There must be something else at work here.

If you read Christian Goodman’s trigger guide that I mentioned a moment ago you’d realize that migraine triggers are everywhere. They are food triggers, psychological triggers, dietary triggers, environmental triggers…

Endless triggers for migraines.

Most of life is a migraine trigger!

We all encounter migraine triggers almost every day of our lives.

Yet only some of us actually get the migraines.

I used to get migraines regularly. You still do I’m guessing.

But my sister doesn’t get them. My best friends don’t either. My boss never has a headache, let alone a migraine.

They all experience many of these typical migraine triggers though.

Migraine triggers without the migraine.

What on earth is going on here?

The answer is this: the triggers aren’t your migraines.

They aren’t even the cause of your migraines.

If you think they are then you’ve been duped.

Consider this:

The trigger is triggering something isn’t it? So if we address that something… aren’t we getting to the root of the problem?

I think so.

Actually, no.

I know so.

Why do I say this with such certainty?

Because I found out something a short while ago. Something that I was able to make use of to put paid completely to my migraines.

It’s not exactly a secret because so many people do it now but… it’s not widely publicized by the medical industry.

You want to know why?

Here’s a clue: it doesn’t require meds, potions or surgeries. It doesn’t cost a penny to do it. There’s nothing for sale.

Let me tell you about it.

The Missing Link: What Cured My Migraine Forever

Notice I say ‘cured’.

Not ‘reduced’ or ‘helped’ or ‘made it a little better’.

Maybe what I learned will only reduce your migraines. I’d have been happy with that. But it ended my migraines. I haven’t had one for 14 months and counting.

For me this revelation has been one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Here’s what happened:

As I mentioned earlier, I had been using a guide written by Christian Goodman to identify my migraine triggers.

And it had certainly helped. I narrowed down several psychological and one possible dietary factor (some types of cheese) that seemed to set off my migraines.

By addressing those factors I managed to reduce the severity of some of my migraines. I still got them but sometimes they were noticeably less intense than normal. I was grateful for that.

Better still, my recovery was quicker. I previously had migraines up to two days at times. What I learned from Christian’s guide made sure I never got a two-day migraine again.

That guide is no longer available. But you can still get it directly from Christian.

I’ll tell you how shortly. It won’t cost you anything either.

But Then… Along Came Something Astonishing

One day, Christian contacted me and asked me if I would be part of a small trial group for some exercises he’d developed.

These exercises weren’t your usual keep-fit kind of movements. They were designed to tackle migraines at their root cause.

Christian told me that the intention wasn’t to relieve migraines but to eliminate them.

To get rid of them once and for all.

There were no drugs involved nor did I need to go to a gym, a therapist or buy special equipment. None of that.

He asked me, Would I like to take part in the trial?

Of course I would!

Before he sent me my initial instructions he told me what the thinking was behind these new exercises.

I was absolutely astonished by what I heard.

First, Christian explained how migraines worked.

Discovering The ‘Bit In The Middle’

The detail that matters is easy to understand – and it’s this: a migraine is the end result of a very short chain of events.

It’s a sequence basically and at its simplest here’s how the sequence works:

trigger > thing that gives you the migraine > migraine

The trigger affects something in your body. And it’s that something that causes migraine pain.

The trigger is the agent, not the cause.

It’s that something that is the real culprit.

It’s the bit in the middle that holds the key to your migraine pain. And its cure.

Because saying the trigger causes migraines is like your team winning a game and me claiming they won because the referee blew the starting whistle.

Yes, the starting whistle got things going but something else – in this case the team – won the game. The team was the cause of the win.

Migraine triggers are like referee’s starting whistles. They get the thing going – they trigger it. But the migraine itself is caused by the ‘something’ that the trigger sets in motion.

The medical profession either addresses the trigger – to prevent or reduce the migraine – or the migraine itself – usually drugs to reduce its effects.

They ignore the middle bit of the sequence – the ‘something’ because… well, they don’t know properly what it is.

But here’s what Christian told me:

He explained that oxygen therapy had been tried out for people suffering very severe headaches – migraines included – and that the therapy had some notable successes.

The therapy hadn’t cured the migraines but…

… given an oxygen canister and a mask patients in the middle of a painful migraine experienced genuine improvement in their condition. The improvements were quick – although disappointingly short lived.

But what Christian spotted was that migraine might simply be caused by lack of oxygen getting to the brain.

If that’s so then if you tackle that before a migraine even started then… haven’t you just cured migraines?

Not reduced it or improved it. But cured it?

Now, doctors already had oxygen-deprivation on their list of suspects for migraines. There was already a suspicion that a shortage of oxygen to the brain was a cause of migraine.

The experience of people directly inhaling oxygen at the point they were suffering migraines strongly supported this theory.

And migraine forums contain stories from people who say that if they go running – very fast – at the onset of a migraine then they can head off its worst symptoms and perhaps not have such a painful episode.

Running pumps blood hard around your body and into your brain.

And with that blood comes lots of oxygen…

So Christian wasn’t claiming to have invented the migraine cure he now wanted me to try out.

But he explained it to me this way: if oxygen was reaching my brain in sufficient quantities naturally – before there was any sign of a migraine – then doesn’t the problem of oxygen-deprivation disappear?

If your brain was always getting its supply of oxygen naturally then the cause of my migraine – lack of oxygen to the brain – is gone.

Isn’t that why some people get migraines and others don’t – because some people have healthy supplies of oxygen getting to their brains while others don’t?

Christian thought so. As it turned out, I believe he was right.

But do we really need oxygen tanks and masks to oxygenate our brains?

Do we have to run fast around the track in order to head-off a migraine attack?

No.

Thankfully we don’t.

Sure, oxygen tanks and running are both ways of getting oxygen to the brain.

But if the oxygen is already there then they aren’t needed.

And that’s where Christian’s program comes in.

Christian told me about the ways in which oxygen is prevented from properly reaching the brain in our everyday lives.

He was surprised to discover that the causes of this are varied but well understood.

There’s no mystery to any of this.

Two Plus Two Equals Four!

All he did was link it all together.

If specialists suggest that migraine agony is caused by lack of oxygen to the brain….

And the causes of lack of oxygen to the brain are pretty well understood…

Then doesn’t solving the oxygen-to-the-brain problem also cure migraines?

Christian answered this with a ‘Yes’ – and his uniquely simple migraine program was born.

And the program is indeed very straightforward: it’s just a set of movements that you perform at home.

I tried them out. All of them.

And they worked.

And Here’s How

So how did they work?

Was this some kind of magic?

Some sort of secret exercise discovered by ancient wise men deep in some south American jungle?

No, not at all.

This is what I learned from Christian:

Our brains need a lot of oxygen to function properly.

Some 40% of our oxygen intake goes straight to the brain – or it does if you’re healthy.

Oxygen arrives at the brain in the same way that it arrives at any of our body’s organs: it’s carried there by our blood.  

Many leading migraine specialists believe that migraine headaches are caused by a restriction of the blood supply to the brain. Restrict blood to the brain and you’ve restricted oxygen to the brain too.

Oxygen-deprivation in the brain is a serious matter – and the body takes it very seriously indeed.

It rushes blood to the brain – and so we experience a sudden and rapid increase in blood pressure inside the head.

And that’s where the pain comes from.

It’s as if your brain is literally swelling up against the inside of your skull, trying to burst out.

Which I remember clearly as being my experience of migraine pain.

Every pulse of my heart felt like a shockwave blasting through my skull, so painful that it made me wince.

Specialists Have Known This All Along

None of this is new.

What Christian has done is simple but very, very effective.

He’s linked the medical facts and addressed the cause of the low-oxygen.

Again, low blood oxygen has a number of causes – most of which are fairly well understood.

In a nutshell, we don’t breathe in properly. We don’t breathe out properly. And the air we do get into our lungs doesn’t adequately get to our organs and brain.

Again this is all medically verified.

Here’s what happens:

We don’t breathe in properly

I must admit, I initially found it difficult to believe I wasn’t breathing properly.

It’s such a natural thing to do – how can I be doing it wrong?

Turns out that millions of people simply don’t breathe in deeply enough to inhale sufficient oxygen to meet their bodies’ needs.

There are two reasons for this:

First, too many of us sit down way too much – at home, at the office, in cars.

Sitting for extended periods is now widely regarded as almost deadly to our health.

Amongst many other downsides it causes our posture and breathing infrastructure to weaken and sag due to lack of proper use.

Which physically ruins our ability to take in large, healthy lungfuls of air.

Second, modern life brings its own stresses and strains. Long hours, tight schedules, family responsibilities, job demands, not enough sleep, money concerns – all the usual stuff.  

And when we’re worried and tense or worn out and sleepy then we naturally breathe in less deeply. Our bodies are more tense and our breathing is medically proven to be less efficient.

We mostly don’t notice this happening to us – but this is exactly what is happening.

So again we’re reducing the amount of oxygenated air that gets into our lungs – and then into our body and our brain.

We don’t breathe out properly either

I found that pretty hard to believe too.

What could be easier than breathing out?

But I found out it’s true – and it’s a deadly failing.

When you breathe out you’re expelling carbon dioxide – a waste gas that is the natural consequence of breathing. Carbon dioxide is a poison.

But modern life – sitting watching tv, riding in the car and so on – plus general tension in the body means we’re not properly expelling carbon dioxide.

Which in turn means some of that carbon dioxide just sits in our lungs – which is where it absolutely ought not to be.

And while it’s there it’s taking up space where oxygenated air should be.

The oxygen we do get struggles to reach our brains

Turns out not breathing properly isn’t the only problem.

There are more than 70 muscles in the neck, face and head region.

Tightness in these muscles isn’t uncommon. If enough of them are too tense for too often then they actively restrict blood flow to the brain.

And in our modern lives muscle tension is widespread. Fatigue, stress… and looking down at laptops and smartphones creates huge tensions throughout our shoulders, necks, faces and heads.

We don’t always notice it because we’re so used to the stiffness.

It’s been with us for years or even decades.

But those tight, constricted muscles make it very difficult to get oxygenated blood to our brains. The tightness acts as blockages – valves if you like that have been turned to the ‘off’ position.

I know this was true for me. One of the very first things I noticed when I tried Christian’s exercises was just how tense my neck, face and head muscles had become.

And just how lovely it felt when they became relaxed and soft for the first time in years!

Nothing New Here

I’ll repeat this for good measure: Christian Goodman hasn’t single-handedly discovered the cure for migraines. He’s not claiming to have done that.

What he’s done is taken widely accepted medical facts and drawn them together to create what is, in many respects, an obvious remedy for migraines.

His program – called The Migraine and Headache Program – makes use of these well-understood facts about how our bodies do – and don’t – work.

For me, The Migraine and Headache Program addressed each problem area: first, not breathing in and out properly. And then oxygen not being able to reach my brain properly.

In a short period of time those problems had gone away.

And when the problems were resolved so was my migraine. Because they were causing my migraines.

Nothing Complicated Here Either

The exercises in The Migraine and Headache Program are gentle and mostly stationary. There’s no jumping around or any kind of vigorous activity at all.

Better still, as the exercises take effect and your migraines subside you can perform fewer of them. Today I do just enough exercises to keep the problem at bay.

In fact, Christian calls them ‘exercises’ but I call them ‘movements’.

To my mind, exercises are things you work hard at that make you sweat.

Whereas these movements are not hard work and they don’t make you sweat. In truth, most of these movements involve very little movement at all.

It’s mostly lots of easy standing or laying in one position or another. My kind of exercise to be honest!

But there’s power in these movements. Because they’re loosening muscles that have become tight and constricted… so tight that they’re stopping oxygen-rich blood getting to the brain.

Much of the program’s effectiveness comes from the fact that it focuses on small areas of the body that you wouldn’t normally give much thought about.

I was a little surprised initially at the exercises. I’d done yoga for more than a year so was used to difficult, strenuous stretches. If anything would have eased tense muscles I would have thought yoga would have done it.

Turns out that’s not so.

Several of Christian’s exercises were mostly ‘lying around’ exercises. They required almost no effort. More than once I nearly dozed off doing them.

But that’s pretty much all there is to it.

Once muscles have been loosened and relaxed blood flows much, much more easily. And when blood flows more easily it is much better able to carry oxygen to your brain.

And when your brain is getting all its oxygen it doesn’t create migraines.

So you can trigger all you like. If the cause of your migraine is no longer there then there’s nothing there to trigger.

Hope And Prayers Answered!

I am forever grateful for the day that Christian Goodman asked me to try out his Migraine and Headache Program.

I did everything he told me to and the results came quickly.

Migraines still occurred for a very short while.

But the very first migraine after I started his program was noticeably less severe.

It started mid-morning. And it wasn’t pleasant to be honest.

But it didn’t reach the throbbing agony I’d become used to – and it was mostly over by late evening.

I’d never had a migraine resolve itself so quickly.

Over the next three weeks I did all the exercises exactly how he told me to.

My next migraine was a shadow of its former self. I actually continued with my day stopping only for an hour or so when it peaked. But it was a far cry from what I was used to.

But it was a special migraine for me. I’ll always remember it.

Because it was the last one I ever had.

14 months later and while the memory of migraines hasn’t faded I have long stopped fearing the next one.

Because there isn’t going to be a next one.

I had already tried everything before being offered the chance to try out Christian’s program.

As I mentioned earlier, handling triggers brought some relief. But his exercises were a revelation for me.

And they have been for the several hundred people who have followed this program since then.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that these simple movements transformed my life.

I’m simply not the same person I was before.

Then, I was a migraine sufferer.

Now, I’m free.

It’s your turn now.

You can have the same program that I got. It’s tried, it’s tested. And it’s easy.

I didn’t need to go out and buy any equipment.

I didn’t need to join a gym – thank goodness.

Not a cent on meds. Not a cent on treatments.

No more doctor surgeries, clinic waiting rooms or consultants’ rooms.

I just stayed at home and did the exercises at odd moments during the day.

One exercise I’d do in the kitchen. Two others I’d do in the bedroom after my shower.

A couple I did while watching television.

Life didn’t stop for these exercises. I just incorporated them into my daily routine.

Now, I do one or two a day at most. I vary them throughout the week.

By maintaining that basic flexibility and balance I know I’m protecting myself for the rest of my life.

I really couldn’t be happier.

Yours is waiting – click below and get it now.

Send me my guide please

There’s Nothing To Lose

Well, there is – migraine agony.

But you might have concerns that all that pain you’ve experienced can’t be cured by some simple exercises.

I would understand that. I was quite skeptical when Christian first presented me with his program.

Over time I’d spent way more than $3000 on a variety of medications, adjustments and other treatments – just to cope with my migraines.

Yet, for the price of 4 weeks of pain meds, he was suggesting he’d do what the specialists had failed to do: cure my migraines.

I believed in him because his Triggers Guide worked so well. But even so, it was a bit of a stretch.

Of course, now I know that all along he knew what he was doing.

Because his remedy was neither made-up or invented by him.

It was, in fact, a scientifically-valid approach to addressing migraine pain.

What Christian has done is put his remedy into a clearly-explained and easy-to-follow program. Everything you need is in the guide.

It’ll work.

If within 60 days of purchasing the program you’re not rid of your migraine misery then he’ll give you your money back. No questions asked. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

Something Extra…

I told you earlier that I first heard of Christian Goodman when I bought his Migraine Triggers Guide.

Following his advice I uncovered at least two major triggers for my migraines – and probably a third (cheese, of all things).

Managing those triggers helped me reduce my migraines attacks from 2 days or more to little more than a day. And their intensity reduced with it.

You might want to address your triggers while you wait for the migraine exercises to take effect.

The guide cost me $97. Today, you can have a copy for free. It’ll come automatically when you order your copy of The Migraine and Headache Program.

This is a limited offer – best to act now so you don’t miss out.

So – how about you?

I don’t know how long you’ve suffered with your migraines.

Maybe it’s reached the point of being truly awful and life destroying.

Possibly, like I once was, you are fearful of the next attack… anxious about how it will disrupt whatever you’re doing at the time… nervous about how you’ll cope.

But hopefully it hasn’t reached that stage yet.

Which means you can tackle it before it does.

Get your copy of Christian Goodman’s ‘Migraine and Headache Program’ now.

It costs the same as a typical month’s migraine meds – but works forever. And unlike your meds, this program comes with a 100% money-back guarantee.

Get your guide – and your free bonus Trigger Guide – here:

Send me my guide please

Nothing will change until you get Christian’s guide. But when you do… then it can all change.

And it can change quickly and beyond recognition – as I found out for myself.

Remember: these exercises are devised around sound medical principles. There’s nothing mysterious about them.

But the effects are truly out of this world.

Your copy of the guide is here – and you’ll get Christian’s ‘Triggers’ bonus too. It will be with you in minutes so don’t miss out:

I need that guide now

You’ve tried the standard remedies and – my guess is – they are having little effect or no effect.

Certainly, they’re not doing the job you want them to do. You wouldn’t be here, searching for migraine remedies if you were truly satisfied.

And that’s the experience that too many of us have.

That’s how it was for me once upon a time. But I had a stroke of luck and found my lifelong cure. Let’s see if it’s your lifelong cure too.

Get the program now. Get the bonus now. And get your money back if they don’t work.

You deserve this. You need it. Putting it off won’t solve a thing. Be good to yourself.

Click below and start your recovery from migraines.

I’m ready – send it

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The Migraine And Headache Program! - Blue Heron Health News

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The Migraine And Headache Program! - Blue Heron Health News

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    I used to suffer from migraines.

Not headaches. Not bad headaches. Not even severe headaches.

Migraines.

Shocking, excruciating, life-denying, throbbing horrible migraines.

The kind of pain that frequently made my eyes water – if not cry.

The kind of pain that drove me to my bed… my place to hide away, to escape from the world and soak in the torment that was my regular migraine attack.

My migraine history wasn’t much different from many other people’s.

They started off bad. Then, over time, they got worse.

At first they were throbbing pains on one side of my head. Sometimes they were not too awful. Occasionally they were manageable.

As months and then years rolled by they steadily worsened.

They became more frequent.

They also lasted longer.

When they first started they’d be over by the next day.

But they eventually ran into more than two days – and those two-day migraine attacks disrupted so much in my life.

As time wore on my neck began to hurt.

My sensitivity to light and noise became more acute.

Originally I would sleep the migraine out in my own bed. But as they worsened even the slightest sound my partner made caused me pain.

In the end at the onset of a migraine I had to retreat to our second bedroom… to be alone and away from everyone and everything.

Another thing: I’d always felt nausea with my migraines.

But that nausea eventually became actual vomiting.

Nobody likes being sick – but I really, really hated it.

Strangely, of all the horrible symptoms of my migraines it’s the fact that I am no longer sick that makes me most happy!

Migraines Changed My Life

As my migraines became worse my life also changed as a result.

At first, when they had been less severe, I had simply dealt with them as they arose.

As the migraine wore on I would shut myself away in our spare bedroom, close the door, pull the curtains and almost literally hide under my duvet.

I’d close my eyes and try to will the pain away.

The onset of the migraine slowed me down. The migraine itself more or less rendered me useless. And the day or two afterward left me drained, sluggish and deflated.

Those headaches robbed me of 3 or 4 days of life.

The things I couldn’t do, the plans I had to suddenly cancel….

But I quickly found it wasn’t just the migraine itself that affected my life.

The fear of them – the realization that they could hit me at any time – influenced so many of my plans and my actions.

A simple example:

I couldn’t take a job where I had to be alert and on my toes all day. Or where I would be dealing with customers.

It had to be a job where – putting it bluntly – I could be quite ill from time to time… and then make up for the lost work hours in my own time.

After all, who would hire me if my migraine actively hurt their business?

The sheer unpredictability of my migraines made even the most ordinary things difficult.

I could drive short distances – but longer distances always created a problem. What if I became ill at the other end of my journey? Who would I call to pick up me – and my car?

My productivity – both in my personal and work life – was heavily knocked by my migraines. At times I simply couldn’t do a thing for myself or for anyone else.

One of the worst things about migraines occurs when you’re not even experiencing one.

It’s the fear of them.

Because just not knowing when to expect the next attack… wondering if a migraine will suddenly pop up and ruin a busy day at work, a trip to the cinema or a social gathering with friends….

The mental effort of dealing with background worries about when it will strike next was exhausting in itself.

Those years of suffering migraines were difficult years indeed. I don’t miss them!

So Many Migraine Remedies – But So Little Success

There are millions of migraine sufferers and, before I finally cured mine, I searched everywhere for some sort of relief.

But although there’s tons of information out there I gradually realized it all pretty much falls into just two categories:

Take meds, get treatment – medical stuff, in other words

Avoid the triggers that turn on the migraine attack in the first place

There’s a hierarchy of treatments – each one a step on from the previous one.

There’s lots to try, plenty to fail at and, of course, an array of potential remedies to spend your money on.

I tried plenty. I spent plenty of dollars too.

And no matter what I tried there was always something else I could have a go at just around the corner.

Not All Doom And Gloom?

Of course, some medications do work – in some ways.

There are so many variations of migraine sufferer. And, with so many medications on the market, it’s inevitable that sometimes a sufferer and a medication are just right for each other.

A match made in heaven, you might say.

The sufferer doesn’t usually get rid of the migraine. They still attack when they least expect it – but the meds make it more manageable.

For the rest of us though it can be a case of either soldiering on through the pain and nausea – or just sitting it out in darkness and silence until it goes.

And as I found, the meds rarely work in the way we’d like them to.

As in, getting rid of the migraines once and for all.

Sure, plenty of individuals get some relief from their symptoms from time to time.

I knew people whose drugs – if taken at the earliest stages of a migraine – would help make the migraines less severe than they would otherwise have been.

The results though are unreliable. Sometimes those same people will take their meds early and… the migraine rushes in anyway.

As if they’d never taken them at all.

My doctor warned me about taking too many drugs for my migraines. He pointed out the irony that taking too much medication had the side-effect of… medication over-use headache.

A headache caused by my headache medications!

I did laugh when he told me that. But it’s actually not that funny.

Migraine Remedies Are Hope-And-Pray Remedies

In fact, during my battle with migraines I developed a theory: that when a condition has so many medicines – and absolutely none of them work reliably for all or even most sufferers – then the condition itself is not properly understood.

When I suffered migraines I would try the various medications and treatments one at a time. And with each I would just hope – hard – for relief.

I quickly discovered that ‘hope’ is not a good strategy.

I also realized that the drugs companies are actually ‘trying things out’ – and, at best, getting temporary, short-lived successes. Their offerings were hit-and-miss – unreliable and uncertain.

And they’re tackling symptoms, not causes. If they successfully tackled causes then migraines would end.

But people like to pop pills because that’s easy to do – and we’re conditioned to believe there’s a pill for every problem. And pharma likes to sell pills because they make a lot of money.

So pills it is.

For A While I Thought Tackling Triggers Was The Key

On the brighter side, I found a lot of conversation around what triggers migraines.

Triggers are emotional, physical, environmental or dietary events that set your migraine in motion.

There are literally dozens of different potential triggers. Most people’s migraines are affected by just a handful of them.

The trick is to work out the few that affect you most – and then do your best to avoid them.

The avoidance of triggers was my favorite approach.

It’s free of cost to do because it mostly requires you to stop doing certain things.

More than that, it held out the hope of a cure for my migraines. If I could just pinpoint the one or two things that caused my migraines I could simply make sure I never did them again. And everything would be fine after that.

If only.

Addressing triggers does make some sense. For about half of us there are things that we can identify as prompting the migraine to start.

The thing is: how do we know what they are?

Easy Said, Not So Easy Done

Identifying your personal migraine triggers can be quite difficult. For some of us our triggers are almost impossible to spot.

For sure, if you can spot one or two triggers then it can make a world of difference.

I should know. When I first started out trying to cure my migraines I tried everything imaginable. And triggers seemed to me like a good place to start.

Turned out it was.

I found a guide to triggers online – with some very helpful advice on how to spot and deal with my own. The guide was created by a gentleman by the name of Christian Goodman.

I worked through his guide and two things happened:

I realized I had a couple of primary triggers mostly around posture and stress. As triggers these two are pretty difficult to address – especially the stress. But at least I knew. At least I had something I could do about my migraines.

I now had a tool that I could use to reduce the effects of my migraines. True, I was never able to prevent them – but if I got things right they were sometimes less intense. Given the awfulness of my migraines anything was better than nothing.

It was genuinely uplifting to suddenly have some control over what was happening to me. Even if I couldn’t actually stop it.

But here’s the thing.

Managing triggers is very difficult.

First, they’re hard to identify – and I suspect that I still had one or two unidentified triggers for my own migraines. Often, you think something is a trigger but it isn’t – it’s actually just a symptom.

Then, some triggers are just very difficult to manage.

If your trigger is in some of the food you eat then if you’re lucky enough to be able to identify that food then you can simply stop eating it.

It’s more difficult if it’s a whole food group – dairy, say, or wheat. But it’s still doable. You can cut these things out.

But what if your trigger is something harder to get a hold of… more difficult to properly address?

Background stress perhaps. Nervousness. Low mood. Energy loss.

This kind of stuff is normal.

It’s part of everyday life for everybody who has a job or a family – or a job and a family.

For some people a level of anxiety or stress is just their normal default state. It’s part of their make-up.

For almost everyone, we find that such triggers are a common part of our lives at some point. Whenever things get tough, when we work harder than usual or when we miss out on some sleep… that’s when the trigger comes into play.

Managing them is extremely difficult.

But Triggers Are Part Of A Dangerous Migraine Myth

The medical profession is united in one thing: they admit they don’t properly understand the causes of migraines.

Almost everything that’s ever said about migraines in the medical press has nothing to do with curing the migraine itself.

We talk about triggers – and managing them can help.

We talk about meds – they’re expensive but have some beneficial effects sometimes for some people.

But meds deal with a migraine that’s either about to happen or is in full flow. Meds are usually too late.

And triggers – which are good to identify and are where most people’s hopes lie – are not the actual cause of migraines.

Let me repeat that.

Because too many people think that if they get rid of their migraine triggers then they’ve tackled their migraine’s cause:

Triggers are not the cause of your migraines.

Here’s a way of thinking about this that makes it clear:

Why can some people drink a bucket of coffee and feel nothing while someone else drinks a cup and suffers 72 hours of migraine hell?

How come Bob gets exhausted after a couple of stressful days at work but recovers after a good night’s sleep… but John – who works with Bob and had exactly the same experiences – goes home to wild thumping head pains, ghastly light sensitivity and vomiting?

How come Bob is refreshed the next day while John has to shut himself away for 48 hours to cope with his blisteringly painful headaches?

It can’t be the triggers. Can it?

Both had exactly the same experience at work. Both came home tired and stressed.

So both had the same ‘triggers’.

Yet one is fine the next day while the other has severe migraines.

There must be something else at work here.

If you read Christian Goodman’s trigger guide that I mentioned a moment ago you’d realize that migraine triggers are everywhere. They are food triggers, psychological triggers, dietary triggers, environmental triggers…

Endless triggers for migraines.

Most of life is a migraine trigger!

We all encounter migraine triggers almost every day of our lives.

Yet only some of us actually get the migraines.

I used to get migraines regularly. You still do I’m guessing.

But my sister doesn’t get them. My best friends don’t either. My boss never has a headache, let alone a migraine.

They all experience many of these typical migraine triggers though.

Migraine triggers without the migraine.

What on earth is going on here?

The answer is this: the triggers aren’t your migraines.

They aren’t even the cause of your migraines.

If you think they are then you’ve been duped.

Consider this:

The trigger is triggering something isn’t it? So if we address that something… aren’t we getting to the root of the problem?

I think so.

Actually, no.

I know so.

Why do I say this with such certainty?

Because I found out something a short while ago. Something that I was able to make use of to put paid completely to my migraines.

It’s not exactly a secret because so many people do it now but… it’s not widely publicized by the medical industry.

You want to know why?

Here’s a clue: it doesn’t require meds, potions or surgeries. It doesn’t cost a penny to do it. There’s nothing for sale.

Let me tell you about it.

The Missing Link: What Cured My Migraine Forever

Notice I say ‘cured’.

Not ‘reduced’ or ‘helped’ or ‘made it a little better’.

Maybe what I learned will only reduce your migraines. I’d have been happy with that. But it ended my migraines. I haven’t had one for 14 months and counting.

For me this revelation has been one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Here’s what happened:

As I mentioned earlier, I had been using a guide written by Christian Goodman to identify my migraine triggers.

And it had certainly helped. I narrowed down several psychological and one possible dietary factor (some types of cheese) that seemed to set off my migraines.

By addressing those factors I managed to reduce the severity of some of my migraines. I still got them but sometimes they were noticeably less intense than normal. I was grateful for that.

Better still, my recovery was quicker. I previously had migraines up to two days at times. What I learned from Christian’s guide made sure I never got a two-day migraine again.

That guide is no longer available. But you can still get it directly from Christian.

I’ll tell you how shortly. It won’t cost you anything either.

But Then… Along Came Something Astonishing

One day, Christian contacted me and asked me if I would be part of a small trial group for some exercises he’d developed.

These exercises weren’t your usual keep-fit kind of movements. They were designed to tackle migraines at their root cause.

Christian told me that the intention wasn’t to relieve migraines but to eliminate them.

To get rid of them once and for all.

There were no drugs involved nor did I need to go to a gym, a therapist or buy special equipment. None of that.

He asked me, Would I like to take part in the trial?

Of course I would!

Before he sent me my initial instructions he told me what the thinking was behind these new exercises.

I was absolutely astonished by what I heard.

First, Christian explained how migraines worked.

Discovering The ‘Bit In The Middle’

The detail that matters is easy to understand – and it’s this: a migraine is the end result of a very short chain of events.

It’s a sequence basically and at its simplest here’s how the sequence works:

trigger > thing that gives you the migraine > migraine

The trigger affects something in your body. And it’s that something that causes migraine pain.

The trigger is the agent, not the cause.

It’s that something that is the real culprit.

It’s the bit in the middle that holds the key to your migraine pain. And its cure.

Because saying the trigger causes migraines is like your team winning a game and me claiming they won because the referee blew the starting whistle.

Yes, the starting whistle got things going but something else – in this case the team – won the game. The team was the cause of the win.

Migraine triggers are like referee’s starting whistles. They get the thing going – they trigger it. But the migraine itself is caused by the ‘something’ that the trigger sets in motion.

The medical profession either addresses the trigger – to prevent or reduce the migraine – or the migraine itself – usually drugs to reduce its effects.

They ignore the middle bit of the sequence – the ‘something’ because… well, they don’t know properly what it is.

But here’s what Christian told me:

He explained that oxygen therapy had been tried out for people suffering very severe headaches – migraines included – and that the therapy had some notable successes.

The therapy hadn’t cured the migraines but…

… given an oxygen canister and a mask patients in the middle of a painful migraine experienced genuine improvement in their condition. The improvements were quick – although disappointingly short lived.

But what Christian spotted was that migraine might simply be caused by lack of oxygen getting to the brain.

If that’s so then if you tackle that before a migraine even started then… haven’t you just cured migraines?

Not reduced it or improved it. But cured it?

Now, doctors already had oxygen-deprivation on their list of suspects for migraines. There was already a suspicion that a shortage of oxygen to the brain was a cause of migraine.

The experience of people directly inhaling oxygen at the point they were suffering migraines strongly supported this theory.

And migraine forums contain stories from people who say that if they go running – very fast – at the onset of a migraine then they can head off its worst symptoms and perhaps not have such a painful episode.

Running pumps blood hard around your body and into your brain.

And with that blood comes lots of oxygen…

So Christian wasn’t claiming to have invented the migraine cure he now wanted me to try out.

But he explained it to me this way: if oxygen was reaching my brain in sufficient quantities naturally – before there was any sign of a migraine – then doesn’t the problem of oxygen-deprivation disappear?

If your brain was always getting its supply of oxygen naturally then the cause of my migraine – lack of oxygen to the brain – is gone.

Isn’t that why some people get migraines and others don’t – because some people have healthy supplies of oxygen getting to their brains while others don’t?

Christian thought so. As it turned out, I believe he was right.

But do we really need oxygen tanks and masks to oxygenate our brains?

Do we have to run fast around the track in order to head-off a migraine attack?

No.

Thankfully we don’t.

Sure, oxygen tanks and running are both ways of getting oxygen to the brain.

But if the oxygen is already there then they aren’t needed.

And that’s where Christian’s program comes in.

Christian told me about the ways in which oxygen is prevented from properly reaching the brain in our everyday lives.

He was surprised to discover that the causes of this are varied but well understood.

There’s no mystery to any of this.

Two Plus Two Equals Four!

All he did was link it all together.

If specialists suggest that migraine agony is caused by lack of oxygen to the brain….

And the causes of lack of oxygen to the brain are pretty well understood…

Then doesn’t solving the oxygen-to-the-brain problem also cure migraines?

Christian answered this with a ‘Yes’ – and his uniquely simple migraine program was born.

And the program is indeed very straightforward: it’s just a set of movements that you perform at home.

I tried them out. All of them.

And they worked.

And Here’s How

So how did they work?

Was this some kind of magic?

Some sort of secret exercise discovered by ancient wise men deep in some south American jungle?

No, not at all.

This is what I learned from Christian:

Our brains need a lot of oxygen to function properly.

Some 40% of our oxygen intake goes straight to the brain – or it does if you’re healthy.

Oxygen arrives at the brain in the same way that it arrives at any of our body’s organs: it’s carried there by our blood.  

Many leading migraine specialists believe that migraine headaches are caused by a restriction of the blood supply to the brain. Restrict blood to the brain and you’ve restricted oxygen to the brain too.

Oxygen-deprivation in the brain is a serious matter – and the body takes it very seriously indeed.

It rushes blood to the brain – and so we experience a sudden and rapid increase in blood pressure inside the head.

And that’s where the pain comes from.

It’s as if your brain is literally swelling up against the inside of your skull, trying to burst out.

Which I remember clearly as being my experience of migraine pain.

Every pulse of my heart felt like a shockwave blasting through my skull, so painful that it made me wince.

Specialists Have Known This All Along

None of this is new.

What Christian has done is simple but very, very effective.

He’s linked the medical facts and addressed the cause of the low-oxygen.

Again, low blood oxygen has a number of causes – most of which are fairly well understood.

In a nutshell, we don’t breathe in properly. We don’t breathe out properly. And the air we do get into our lungs doesn’t adequately get to our organs and brain.

Again this is all medically verified.

Here’s what happens:

We don’t breathe in properly

I must admit, I initially found it difficult to believe I wasn’t breathing properly.

It’s such a natural thing to do – how can I be doing it wrong?

Turns out that millions of people simply don’t breathe in deeply enough to inhale sufficient oxygen to meet their bodies’ needs.

There are two reasons for this:

First, too many of us sit down way too much – at home, at the office, in cars.

Sitting for extended periods is now widely regarded as almost deadly to our health.

Amongst many other downsides it causes our posture and breathing infrastructure to weaken and sag due to lack of proper use.

Which physically ruins our ability to take in large, healthy lungfuls of air.

Second, modern life brings its own stresses and strains. Long hours, tight schedules, family responsibilities, job demands, not enough sleep, money concerns – all the usual stuff.  

And when we’re worried and tense or worn out and sleepy then we naturally breathe in less deeply. Our bodies are more tense and our breathing is medically proven to be less efficient.

We mostly don’t notice this happening to us – but this is exactly what is happening.

So again we’re reducing the amount of oxygenated air that gets into our lungs – and then into our body and our brain.

We don’t breathe out properly either

I found that pretty hard to believe too.

What could be easier than breathing out?

But I found out it’s true – and it’s a deadly failing.

When you breathe out you’re expelling carbon dioxide – a waste gas that is the natural consequence of breathing. Carbon dioxide is a poison.

But modern life – sitting watching tv, riding in the car and so on – plus general tension in the body means we’re not properly expelling carbon dioxide.

Which in turn means some of that carbon dioxide just sits in our lungs – which is where it absolutely ought not to be.

And while it’s there it’s taking up space where oxygenated air should be.

The oxygen we do get struggles to reach our brains

Turns out not breathing properly isn’t the only problem.

There are more than 70 muscles in the neck, face and head region.

Tightness in these muscles isn’t uncommon. If enough of them are too tense for too often then they actively restrict blood flow to the brain.

And in our modern lives muscle tension is widespread. Fatigue, stress… and looking down at laptops and smartphones creates huge tensions throughout our shoulders, necks, faces and heads.

We don’t always notice it because we’re so used to the stiffness.

It’s been with us for years or even decades.

But those tight, constricted muscles make it very difficult to get oxygenated blood to our brains. The tightness acts as blockages – valves if you like that have been turned to the ‘off’ position.

I know this was true for me. One of the very first things I noticed when I tried Christian’s exercises was just how tense my neck, face and head muscles had become.

And just how lovely it felt when they became relaxed and soft for the first time in years!

Nothing New Here

I’ll repeat this for good measure: Christian Goodman hasn’t single-handedly discovered the cure for migraines. He’s not claiming to have done that.

What he’s done is taken widely accepted medical facts and drawn them together to create what is, in many respects, an obvious remedy for migraines.

His program – called The Migraine and Headache Program – makes use of these well-understood facts about how our bodies do – and don’t – work.

For me, The Migraine and Headache Program addressed each problem area: first, not breathing in and out properly. And then oxygen not being able to reach my brain properly.

In a short period of time those problems had gone away.

And when the problems were resolved so was my migraine. Because they were causing my migraines.

Nothing Complicated Here Either

The exercises in The Migraine and Headache Program are gentle and mostly stationary. There’s no jumping around or any kind of vigorous activity at all.

Better still, as the exercises take effect and your migraines subside you can perform fewer of them. Today I do just enough exercises to keep the problem at bay.

In fact, Christian calls them ‘exercises’ but I call them ‘movements’.

To my mind, exercises are things you work hard at that make you sweat.

Whereas these movements are not hard work and they don’t make you sweat. In truth, most of these movements involve very little movement at all.

It’s mostly lots of easy standing or laying in one position or another. My kind of exercise to be honest!

But there’s power in these movements. Because they’re loosening muscles that have become tight and constricted… so tight that they’re stopping oxygen-rich blood getting to the brain.

Much of the program’s effectiveness comes from the fact that it focuses on small areas of the body that you wouldn’t normally give much thought about.

I was a little surprised initially at the exercises. I’d done yoga for more than a year so was used to difficult, strenuous stretches. If anything would have eased tense muscles I would have thought yoga would have done it.

Turns out that’s not so.

Several of Christian’s exercises were mostly ‘lying around’ exercises. They required almost no effort. More than once I nearly dozed off doing them.

But that’s pretty much all there is to it.

Once muscles have been loosened and relaxed blood flows much, much more easily. And when blood flows more easily it is much better able to carry oxygen to your brain.

And when your brain is getting all its oxygen it doesn’t create migraines.

So you can trigger all you like. If the cause of your migraine is no longer there then there’s nothing there to trigger.

Hope And Prayers Answered!

I am forever grateful for the day that Christian Goodman asked me to try out his Migraine and Headache Program.

I did everything he told me to and the results came quickly.

Migraines still occurred for a very short while.

But the very first migraine after I started his program was noticeably less severe.

It started mid-morning. And it wasn’t pleasant to be honest.

But it didn’t reach the throbbing agony I’d become used to – and it was mostly over by late evening.

I’d never had a migraine resolve itself so quickly.

Over the next three weeks I did all the exercises exactly how he told me to.

My next migraine was a shadow of its former self. I actually continued with my day stopping only for an hour or so when it peaked. But it was a far cry from what I was used to.

But it was a special migraine for me. I’ll always remember it.

Because it was the last one I ever had.

14 months later and while the memory of migraines hasn’t faded I have long stopped fearing the next one.

Because there isn’t going to be a next one.

I had already tried everything before being offered the chance to try out Christian’s program.

As I mentioned earlier, handling triggers brought some relief. But his exercises were a revelation for me.

And they have been for the several hundred people who have followed this program since then.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that these simple movements transformed my life.

I’m simply not the same person I was before.

Then, I was a migraine sufferer.

Now, I’m free.

It’s your turn now.

You can have the same program that I got. It’s tried, it’s tested. And it’s easy.

I didn’t need to go out and buy any equipment.

I didn’t need to join a gym – thank goodness.

Not a cent on meds. Not a cent on treatments.

No more doctor surgeries, clinic waiting rooms or consultants’ rooms.

I just stayed at home and did the exercises at odd moments during the day.

One exercise I’d do in the kitchen. Two others I’d do in the bedroom after my shower.

A couple I did while watching television.

Life didn’t stop for these exercises. I just incorporated them into my daily routine.

Now, I do one or two a day at most. I vary them throughout the week.

By maintaining that basic flexibility and balance I know I’m protecting myself for the rest of my life.

I really couldn’t be happier.

Yours is waiting – click below and get it now.

Send me my guide please

There’s Nothing To Lose

Well, there is – migraine agony.

But you might have concerns that all that pain you’ve experienced can’t be cured by some simple exercises.

I would understand that. I was quite skeptical when Christian first presented me with his program.

Over time I’d spent way more than $3000 on a variety of medications, adjustments and other treatments – just to cope with my migraines.

Yet, for the price of 4 weeks of pain meds, he was suggesting he’d do what the specialists had failed to do: cure my migraines.

I believed in him because his Triggers Guide worked so well. But even so, it was a bit of a stretch.

Of course, now I know that all along he knew what he was doing.

Because his remedy was neither made-up or invented by him.

It was, in fact, a scientifically-valid approach to addressing migraine pain.

What Christian has done is put his remedy into a clearly-explained and easy-to-follow program. Everything you need is in the guide.

It’ll work.

If within 60 days of purchasing the program you’re not rid of your migraine misery then he’ll give you your money back. No questions asked. You have absolutely nothing to lose.

Something Extra…

I told you earlier that I first heard of Christian Goodman when I bought his Migraine Triggers Guide.

Following his advice I uncovered at least two major triggers for my migraines – and probably a third (cheese, of all things).

Managing those triggers helped me reduce my migraines attacks from 2 days or more to little more than a day. And their intensity reduced with it.

You might want to address your triggers while you wait for the migraine exercises to take effect.

The guide cost me $97. Today, you can have a copy for free. It’ll come automatically when you order your copy of The Migraine and Headache Program.

This is a limited offer – best to act now so you don’t miss out.

So – how about you?

I don’t know how long you’ve suffered with your migraines.

Maybe it’s reached the point of being truly awful and life destroying.

Possibly, like I once was, you are fearful of the next attack… anxious about how it will disrupt whatever you’re doing at the time… nervous about how you’ll cope.

But hopefully it hasn’t reached that stage yet.

Which means you can tackle it before it does.

Get your copy of Christian Goodman’s ‘Migraine and Headache Program’ now.

It costs the same as a typical month’s migraine meds – but works forever. And unlike your meds, this program comes with a 100% money-back guarantee.

Get your guide – and your free bonus Trigger Guide – here:

Send me my guide please

Nothing will change until you get Christian’s guide. But when you do… then it can all change.

And it can change quickly and beyond recognition – as I found out for myself.

Remember: these exercises are devised around sound medical principles. There’s nothing mysterious about them.

But the effects are truly out of this world.

Your copy of the guide is here – and you’ll get Christian’s ‘Triggers’ bonus too. It will be with you in minutes so don’t miss out:

I need that guide now

You’ve tried the standard remedies and – my guess is – they are having little effect or no effect.

Certainly, they’re not doing the job you want them to do. You wouldn’t be here, searching for migraine remedies if you were truly satisfied.

And that’s the experience that too many of us have.

That’s how it was for me once upon a time. But I had a stroke of luck and found my lifelong cure. Let’s see if it’s your lifelong cure too.

Get the program now. Get the bonus now. And get your money back if they don’t work.

You deserve this. You need it. Putting it off won’t solve a thing. Be good to yourself.

Click below and start your recovery from migraines.

I’m ready – send it