#i think the song is not meant to be romantic but rather about jealousy and stalking | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

glitteredrry · 2 years ago

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how to lose a guy in 10 days

hello, welcome to the beginning of my romcom h series where i’m just writing harry in to iconic romantic comedies. now it won’t be verbatim (although some iconic quotes are used), so don’t expect that. it has the same plot though. i hope that you love the start of this series. thank you for reading. 💌

summary: a journalist who is in desperate need of a promotion has only has one simple task, lose a guy in ten days. what happens when Y/N meets a man named Harry that she can fool? Oh, but the only thing is he has his own promotion task to complete…he needs to make a woman fall in love with him in ten days.

warning: fluff, angst, & good ole cheesy romance.

wc: 9.2k (grab a snack)

“I’ve acted batshit crazy with this guy, he’s not budging,” Y/N complained to her friends in her living room.

She was at a loss, her only task for promotion was to lose a guy in 10 days. She wanted this promotion not just to have bragging rights that she did in fact lose a guy, but to be taken more seriously as a journalist.

Living in New York, it was hard to get out of the pool of writing small dating articles. Y/N was over these small sections about topics that weren’t going to change the world.

She wanted something more serious. Perhaps covering world news or something in politics. Her dream of being a journalist surely wasn’t where she is at right now. She wasn’t one of those people who were unappreciative of her opportunity, just a woman looking for a change.

So, when her boss opened up the opportunity of getting to write more serious topics, she was willing to do anything. Even if it was using some guy as a pawn. Sitting with her closest friends sharing a bottle of wine, they talked about her journey so far with the task at hand.

“Well tell us about everything that you’ve done, list it from crazy to out of this world,” Miranda spoke up feeling entertained by this situation her friend was in.

Y/N blew raspberries, “well the least is that I made him take care of these nearly dead roses I bought at the store. I told him that they were a representation of our relationship; if they died it meant he wanted our relationship to die.” She said with an evil smile.

“Once I gave him the flowers I then dedicated a song to him.” Laughter filled the small living room.

“What song?”

“You’re so vain.”

“You didn’t!”

“Even added his name in while I was singing. He looked mortified.” She said finishing off her glass of wine and then going to refill it.

“That’s the least? How crazy did you get?”

”Oh I’ve been terrible, you think that he would have blocked me by now. Listen to this one, we were at a game- oh a basketball game. The game was intense, I mean it might have been the best game of the season. I looked over at him,” she looked at her friend Kendra reenacting what she did.

“And said I don’t think I feel so well. The look on his face was something I’ll never forget. He quite literally looked as if he would have rather told me to go to hell than leave the game, but we left.” She laughed. Y/N knew that the actions were cruel, but she also knew that this would be a great story to tell her grandkids one day.

“What else?” Her friends asked on the edge of their seats.

“Well, a small thing is jealousy. Which I thought guys hated but he just takes it and reassures me. I’ve accused him of dating other girls, and looking at other girls; I’ve made him get into a fight with a guy at a fair.”

“Then right when I was about to have sex with him I called his dick princess Sofia. That didn’t go over well but we agreed on another name. I honestly thought that would have done it. It didn’t.” Y/N said reaching inside their popcorn as her friends just looked shocked.

“I called his Mom too.”

A gasp filled the room because they couldn’t believe how far their friend was going.

“Told him that I cared about having an important relationship with her.”

“And that didn’t steer him away?”

“Nope. Nada. Nothing. He just was okay with it! Sometimes I can just see this look in his eyes that he wants to lose it on me, but he doesn’t.” She said in disbelief herself.

“He will break soon, I feel it.”

“Well, what about today?” Her friend spoke up to ask.

“He plays cards with his friends, it’s my day off.”

“That was before he met you.” Y/N looked over at her friend confused.

“He played cards with his friends before he met you. You need to go, ruin boys' night. There is nothing more that men hate than when their friend's girlfriend comes to crash the party.”

It was as if a lightbulb went up in Y/N’s head as her friend Linda was in disagreeing with it all.

“What’s his name?

“Harry.”

“Harry must be a sweet boy why are you trying to break his heart?”

“He’ll get over me, Linda. It’s only 10 days.”

…

Harry was sitting in his apartment passing around a joint with friends. He had finally gotten the chance to breathe without Y/N breathing down his neck. All the nicknames, baby voices, and constant need for his attention were put on pause.

The Y/N he met on night one was a complete 180 of the Y/N he was currently dealing with. The woman he met was this beautiful woman. Someone who was intelligent and witty, it was someone whom he would have felt bad for making fall in love with him just for his personal benefit. The version he was dealing with now was a demon.

Although she did have her moments where he had a glimpse of the person that he originally met; Like when she would hug him and her fluorescent perfume would mix with his beautifully. Or when they decided to watch a game together in his apartment and she was cheering at the screen with him. She did have her good moments, but then again the bad outweighed the good.

He couldn’t complain much because he needed her. She was his only way of being able to move up at the fashion company he worked for. For him to lead the campaign for the new season of the women’s collection, he needed to get a woman to fall in love with him. Harry told his boss that women love him and that he understood women. So, his boss wanted to challenge that by having only one simple request. Getting a random woman to fall in love with him. He was nailing the assignment since Y/N was still around.

“So, Styles. Do you think that girl is in love with you yet?”

“I’ve got her wrapped around my finger. She’s hooked.”

“Have you fucked her yet?”

“There’s no way that he hasn’t.” One of his friends added in.

“Don’t ask me a question like that. She isn’t a piece of meat.” Harry said in all seriousness. He might have not been trying to date the girl, but he wouldn’t let his friends disrespect her. They all knew what she looked like since she had come up to his job…several times.

“Fine…but have you?”

“Well…no I haven’t.” He said while looking at his hand of cards.

“So, you have to deal with her craziness and get nothing in return?”

“I’m getting something in return, and that’s a campaign.” At his words, keys rattled from outside making all the men at the table turn around.

“Booboo bear,” Y/N called out entering with their cat she got them as practice for their future child in hand.

“Oh, hell.” He said under his breath going to stand as all his friends mocked the nickname while trying to conceal their laughs. Y/N let down their cat whom she named Muffin to the ground.

“Honey,” he said opening his arms as she walked inside them. Hugging momentarily, Harry breathed in her scent that he was becoming all too familiar with.

“What are you doing here?” Harry asked breaking away from her and looking down as she smiled up at him. That smile that he was kind of cute…kind of.

“I just happened to be in the area, then Muffin started meowing when I walked in the direction of your apartment. So, I think that she was telling me to come here. She must have missed her, Daddy.” She turned away from Harry to pick up the cat, “you missed your Daddy, sweet girl.” Y/N’s baby voice was on, and the only thing encouraging her to continue was his friends dying of laughter in the back.

“Continue your game. I’ll be like a ghost you won’t know that I’m here. Just dropping off some things.” Pressing a kiss to his cheek, she turned and headed to the kitchen to laugh to herself.

Harry sat back down at the table daring his friends to say another word. Just when he thought that Y/N was going to be true to her word, out she walked with a platter of vegetables no one asked for nor wanted.

“Excuse me, just wanted to bring healthier options,” she looked over to one of his friends who had a wing in his mouth. Staring it down, she took her fingers and yanked it out his mouth, and all of the men gawked at her actions. “Healthy celery, healthy carrot look how yummy.” She said to Harry’s friends as if he was a toddler.

All of his friends looked around at each other not believing how crazy this girl genuinely was.

His friend slowly let her place the vegetable in his mouth and she patted his head, “good boy.”

Harry couldn’t even find the words to say right now. He placed the joint back in his mouth trying to calm his nerves that Y/N was trying to drive through the roof.

Then coughs began to start as she stared down Harry. They progressed from small ones as if she was clearing her throat to overdramatic ones as if she could not breathe. He knew she was being over dramatic, she stopped in the middle of it all, eyeing him down one more telepathically telling him to put it out.. He put it out with a forced smile.

“Thank you, my sweet honeybun.” She cooed.

Then the drama came as she directed her eyes to something across the room.

A blood-curdling scream came from her lips as if someone had stabbed her, making all the men join her not knowing what they were screaming. “Harry, our roses. You killed them, you monster.” Y/N said theatrically moving across the room to hold the nearly dead roses.

“They’re just roses, I can buy you more,” Harry said rushing over trying to calm her. He was not expecting her to have this kind of reaction…well he had planned for this to happen actually. Tomorrow before he came back from work, he had wanted to go buy fresh roses to replace them. His plan failed…clearly.

“What did you just say?” She looked at him with a twitch in her eye. He thought that he could only see something like this in a movie. His mind couldn’t wrap around that this was his life. Out of all the women in the world that he could have picked for this bet, he picked the worst nut in the package.

“These roses were a symbol of our love. Our young, beautiful, festering love. Do you want our relationship to die?” She said with accusation.

“No, honey. I don’t want our relationship to die. Wait-”

“I don’t want to hear another word.” She said huffing as she began to stomp back to the kitchen with the rest of the roses in hand. She took a moment to collect herself. This was slowly driving her to insanity, but she couldn’t help to admit how fun it was to see the different reactions across the room to her antics.

Just as she walked back into the room with a platter full of pretzels, her eyes were on the back of Harry’s head as he motioned to his friend that she was crazy.

Back into character, I goes.

All of Harry’s friends were trying to silently motion to him that she was behind him. As Harry slowly turned around, he watched her slow stride as she approached the table. All of Harry’s friends watched anxiously because this girl was unpredictable.

“Are you saying, I’m some kind of mental person?” Pretzels flew up in the air and came down like confetti. All of Harry’s friends jumped back as they began to vouch for him.

“No, he didn’t say that.”

“He told us he loved you.”

“Right, Harry?”

“I’m in a room full of liars and snakes. If you would lie to me then you would steal from me, and if you would steal from me then you would cheat on me. Are you cheating on me, Harry?” Y/N said with a small fake sob beginning to spill from her mouth. Every man in the room looked at each other confused. It was as if she was flipping through several personalities.

“No, I wouldn’t lie, steal, or cheat on you. Where did you even get that phrase from?” Harry said, going to stand feeling more confused than ever.

“Quite frankly, Harry you would.” She said immediately cutting off her sobs and going back to normal only making the men in the room question her sanity even more.

“I know that you did cheat, I just can’t prove it. First, you let our love roses die, and now I’m a mental person. I don’t want to be with someone who thinks I’m a mental person.” She said moving to collect her purse and the nearly dead roses.

“Goodbye, Harry. I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.” As soon as her back was turned to the men, she smiled. Walking out the door and hearing it shut she felt victorious.

Her assignment was done for good.

There was no way that after that Harry would be trying to come back. Y/N nearly felt bad for all the pretzels that he would have to clean up.

“You can’t let her go, Harry.” His friend spoke up not forgetting about his promotion. Harry on the other hand had the promotion in the farthest part of his mind. He was happy to no longer deal with her shenanigans.

“Let her leave, I’m in hell. I can’t deal with that,” Harry said feeling slight relief at her finally leaving. Her random meltdowns, phone calls, and popping up where he was were over with.

“The promotion.” His friend reminded him. Harry forgot about the task at hand, and he needed that promotion. Jumping up, he began to run out his door. He was wishing on a star right now that he could catch her.

She had finally gotten rid of him.

“Y/N, wait.”

Or so she thought.

She turned her head to see Harry running down the fire escape in search of her. What was it going to take for this guy to leave me alone? She thought. Turning around to face him, she jumped right back into acting mode making her face screw up as if she was pissed off.

“What do you want, Harry? Why are you running back to talk to a mental person?” She asked. Yes, she was acting, but she truly wanted to know why he would decide to come back to find her. Either this guy was falling for her or just like the crazy within her.

“I’m here to apologize. It was cruel of me to call you mental. You just care. I’m willing to do anything to fix it. I messed up. Please, forgive me.” Harry looked down at her with puppy dog eyes that made Y/N’s stomach curl a bit. She felt a slight blush on her cheeks looking at him in this vicinity. It was the same feelings from the first night that they met. Quickly, she broke eye contact trying to push those feelings down.

“I’m not sure that I can forgive this.” Harry watched her lips and how she kept a prominent pout as she said the words to him. It was cute. She was cute. Harry broke himself out of fonding over her and those beautiful lips.

“I’m willing to do anything,” he slowly dropping to his knees on the New York sidewalk, and she couldn’t figure out whether to find this enduring or disgusting. He kept his green eyes on her as he lowered himself to the ground. “Anything, Y/N.”

“Couples therapy?” She asked knowing that there was no way in hell he would agree to that.

“If that will make you forgive me then, yes. I’ll go.” He rose off the ground going to hug her as she twisted her face in confusion as soon as his head was tucked into her neck. Harry breathed in her scent that the wind was trying to blow away, but he could still smell it.

When they broke contact, she looked at him sternly.

“I love you Harrypie, but I don’t have to like you right now.”

With that said she continued her walk down the street until she was able to fetch a cab ride home. Harry watched her disappear in the night, walking back up to his apartment he ended the boys' night. He was left in a room filled with scattered pretzels and a grumpy cat looking back at him. His dreams were filled with a messy girl with pouty lips and a scream that could wake up the world.

…

Couples therapy was hell…well for Harry it was hell. Y/N seemed to enjoy throwing him under the bus at any moment, not only throwing him under the bus but weirdly partnering up with the therapist against him; At the same time, she accused him of trying to sleep with the therapist.

To say the least he left the session with a happy woman, a major headache, and a dent in his wallet. He honestly had a gut feeling the therapist was a fake one she found off the internet. One thing that he wasn’t expecting the therapist to suggest was taking her away for the weekend to go visit his family.

His family was originally from England, but when his Mom remarried they settled in a small town in Connecticut. He felt calm bringing her because Y/N had already formed a bit of a relationship with his Mom. He could tell that Y/N was nervous.

As he turned down the street where he had spent the majority of his childhood, he watched Y/N’s leg shake as the anxiety was creeping down her body. Maybe this was too far? She thought about pulling into the driveway of Harry’s childhood home.

She tried to calm herself with the fact that this relationship was just to get her ahead in life. It was just three more days, and they would both move on with their lives. Once Harry cut off the car, they both climbed out. Harry grabbed their bags to go inside the house. Before they could even step through the door, Harry’s Mom was greeting them with a smile. “My boy,” she called out, going to kiss his cheek.

“Mom this is Y/N. Y/N this is Anne. I shouldn’t even be introducing you two, I forgot that you already have talked.” He said with a smart-ass tone causing Anne to hit him with a small rag she had in her hand.

“Nothing wrong with a little girl talk. Go drop the bags off in your room. Leave Y/N to me.” Harry walked away up the stairs to his room. Anne moved closer to Y/N with a low voice as soon as the coast was clear.

“You know you’re the first girl that Harry has brought home. You’re too are cute. Come on, let’s go introduce you to the whole family!”

Harry’s family was so loving. She loved the dynamic that they had. Anne introduced Y/N to his sister who had much to tell her about the childhood she shared with Harry. Then his grandfather was currently teaching Y/N how to play poker. It was beautiful scenery too with a hidden lake out back.

“When you fold, that means you’re surrendering. Pretty much you’re throwing the towel in before it even starts.” Harry’s grandfather spoke to her.

“Your cards won’t be able to be played.” She was nodding her head trying to wrap her hand around the game's entire concept.

On cue, Harry walked out the back door and immediately found Y/N. He was happy to see her fitting in with his family. He found it cute.

“Look at the poker champion,” his uncle called out making Harry claim the title loud and proud.

“I don’t think you’ll be winning today, Harry. Your girl is becoming a poker pro.” Y/N blushed at Gemma calling her out.

“Is that so?” Harry asked Y/N as he sat down right next to her.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders at him hiding her cards. “I think I can steal that title from you.”

“We’ll see about that. Deal me in.”

With the help of Harry’s family, Y/N just so happened to win over Harry. The night was filled with laughter and accusations of cheating...which she was. Y/N felt something inside of her brewing but she couldn’t tell what it exactly was.

She loved when Harry called her name out each time he accused her of cheating. She loved how he chased her around the backyard when he found out she was indeed cheating. That night she went to sleep with a charming boy, who had a dazzling smile in mind.

…

Today was peaceful. Outside of the city, it felt to Harry as if their energy shifted. His emotions with this girl have been up and down. Right now he felt so infatuated with her that it was overwhelming. He would find something about her each hour that made him laugh harder or smile a bit brighter. They were practically attached at the hip, only separating when needing to go to the bathroom.

Everything was feeling like the first night that he met her. It was something more personal. He wasn’t sure if it was because of them getting to be by themselves or the fact that he had finally brought a girl to his family, and they loved her. He just knew that as of right now he didn’t want to let go of her.

Right now, the pair were cuddled on the couch watching a movie as Harry’s family were running around doing other things. Suddenly, an idea came into his head as he looked at Y/N laughing at a scene.

“Want to go get naked?” He said randomly in her ear causing her to shoot up giving him a wild stare.

Without a doubt, she knew that she was sexually attracted to Harry, but his just randomly saying it caused panic to run through her.

Harry laughed at her reaction purposely teasing her, he watched as her eyes dilated while holding shock in them.

“Sorry, what I meant to say is would you like to go by the lake? We’ll be in swimsuits, I assure you.” Y/N held a hand to her chest blowing out air that she had been holding in.

“Although, if you would like to get naked, I wouldn’t stop you.” Y/N let out that loud laugh that was music to Harry’s ears.

“You’re such an ass.”

“You love it. Are we going?”

“Show me the way.”

…

The cool air hit Y/N’s legs as Harry walked in front of her leading her to the lake. They had a small picnic basket filled with goodies that Harry had decided to pack. Harry turned his head multiple times to ensure she was okay, and she gave him a kind smile right back each time.

They walked down the passageway until they hit the hidden area. Harry turned to face her feeling a bit shy about bringing her here. It was a sacred oasis for him when he would come to visit. It was something that he had to himself since he was a teen. “Welcome,” he said to her as she took in the location.

She never grew up in a small, close-knit town like this. It was a complete contrast from what she was used to. It was always loud noises coming from the city or the busy streets of New York that she had to walk down bumping into people; Here it was silence.

Just the sounds of nature flooding her ears. She felt at peace. “This is gorgeous, H.” Harry felt his face burn. He wasn’t sure if it was because of how soft her voice was while being dripped in pure adoration or because of the nickname she just assigned to him. He was going to just go with the latter.

“Early in the morning, it’s even better believe it or not.”

They sat down their belongings and undressed. While peeling off their clothes, the both of them stole secret glances at each other. Once they were settled in their swimsuits, Harry overlooked her body as her swimsuit hugged her curves.

She was beautiful.

He was beautiful.

His tattoos were melting into his tanned toned skin as she tried not to let her stare linger for too long. “I’m going to head in, you can keep making googly eyes at me.” Harry teased running into the water. This time Y/N was the one to blush. She chased after him not letting him get too far away.

They played innocently in the water, it was childish splashes shared between them, and a game of marco polo. After getting tired of the water, the both of them watched as the sun was gradually setting. Harry was laid across Y/N’s plush thighs as she was snacking on some grapes. As their bodies dried, Harry was in a deep thinking process.

Harry didn’t know how to describe the way that he felt. It was a weird set of emotions for him. He had never had a serious relationship, then when he happens to meet someone that has driven him mad in all of the ways one can imagine; It happens that he is using her for a bet.

He looked up at her as she unknowingly was stuffing her mouth with grapes. “You look like the cutest chipmunk ever,” she looked down at him, as Harry flashed those bunny teeth that caused her heart to throb.

Hitting him playfully, he sat up moving away from her attack. After she finished chewing she began to speak, “they were really good grapes I swear.”

Harry turned his head up focusing on how the sky had become a little gloomy, “Hey, Y/N, I think that we should head out now. I think that it’s going to-” Before he could finish his sentence, the weather did a 180 causing them the laugh at the small sprinkles of water that began to hit them. Sprinkles the turned to hard rain hitting their skin

Quickly gathering their thing, they ran in the direction of his family home as their laughs got lost in the pouring rain. Once, they made it inside they ran upstairs into the bathroom together and locked the door.

“Let me get the shower for you, if you hear someone flush a toilet be sure to jump out,” he laughed to her as he turned on the water. He turned to face her with a smile on his face.

“Who knew things would change so fast,” Harry said with a laugh shaking water out of his hair. Y/N knew that he was talking about the weather, but she couldn’t help but feel emotion spark within her with his choice of words.

This was all supposed to be a silly bet for her to promote to a higher position, she didn’t know that she would have ended up feeling these kinds of emotions about him. She turned from him as guilty tears ran down her face. Harry immediately noticed a shift in the air as she sat on the toilet lid in distress.

”Hey, hey what’s wrong?” Harry cooed kneeling infront of her and moving her wet hair behind her ears, wanting to get a better look at her face.

Y/N looked up at him with red eyes as she tried to explain her emotions without fully giving them away the reason behind her tears. “It’s just this weekend has been so nice, hasn’t it? Your mom is so kind and it’s just your family is so nice. It w-” she cut herself off with a deep breath before she was about to reveal herself.

“My family loves you and I- yes it has been a great weekend. One of the best I’ve had in a while.” Harry moved his hand to her thigh and she looked down at when he was touching her. There was a connection and both of them questioned if the other could feel it.

“A beautiful girl like you is never meant to cry. Can you show me your smile? I love your smile.” Harry spoke to her with a slight rasp in his voice.

“C’mon, you know you want to smile for me.” He said poking her cheek and teasing her as she tried to contain the blush rising on her cheeks.

She showed him a smile…just not the normal one. “That’s a scary smile, I want my girl’s smile.” She pursed her lips before showing her natural smile.

“There we go, think you have some spinach in your teeth though.”

“I do not.”

“You don’t, I just wanted to mess with you,” Harry said laughing as he moved closer.

He wanted to kiss her.

She wanted him to kiss her.

As if they could read each other’s minds, their lips connected in a way they had not before. It was an overwhelming feeling for both of them. They couldn’t understand when the line started to merge.

They both tried their best to keep their lips connected as clothes began to fly off. By the time they hit the shower, they explored each other in the same way how they wanted to on the first night they met. It was the same burning desire running in them, only now they were both in love with each other without fully admitting it to themselves.

…

Saying goodbye was always bittersweet, but it shouldn’t feel like this. After a weekend together like this he wanted it to stay for good, they were infront of her apartment lingering outside not wanting to say goodbye.

“Well, this is me…” she said not wanting to leave but knowing she would have to.

“I know, kiss goodbye?” She nodded her head wanting the same thing. Pressing a kiss to his lips she moved to move away.

“Bye Harrybooboo,” she said with a laugh using the nickname not to annoy him this time, but just to tease him.

“Bye, honey bear,” Harry teased right back.

Y/N laughed stepping away and walked to the door of her building but stopped hearing Harry shout her name.

“Tomorrow my job is hosting a gala, will you be my date?”

“I would love to. What time?”

“8 on the dot.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

…

Harry looked down at his leather boots while he waited for Y/N to come downstairs. It was finally the night of the gala and he was dressed to impress, not only because he was a representation of the company. He wanted to impress Y/N. He was dressed in one of the suits from the newest collection coming out soon.

Harry waited for her patiently not wanting to rush her but knowing that they were cutting it close. His body leaned against the chauffeured car that he had gotten for them. His nerves were an absolute wreck, he was doing every single thing that he could to distract himself; He fidgeted with each one of his rings and tossed his hair in every which way.

“Hello, Harrybooboo,” all of the nerves fell away before his eyes could even look at her. Just by being able to hear her voice, he felt a calmness.

Looking up at her, he felt as if someone had physically punched him in his chest knocking all of the wind out of him. She was beautiful. He held his right hand over his heart to calm how rapidly it had started beating.

Y/N stood on top of the stairs feeling a bit timid, she had spent all of the time trying to look her best. It was all worth it to see him looking at her as if she was the most prized possession in the world.

Harry observed the yellow silk dress that matched her perfectly. It clings to her body, the body that he had fallen for so fast. Her hair was in an updo showing off her beautiful face. He was completely and utterly gone for her. As she walked down the stairs he opened the door for her to climb in first.

“You clean up nice,” she said with a smile before going to greet him with a hug.

“You’re not too shabby either,” Harry said flashing her a toothy grin.

“I’m going to head in, you can keep making googly eyes at me.” She said to him with a teasing smile climbing into the car. Harry laughed at her repeating his words from two days ago.

“Gladly.”

…

The gala was beautiful, and the designs from the upcoming collection were on display. Ranging from jewelry pieces to styled outfits. Y/N was in awe.

She was happy to be here with Harry…although he wasn’t right by her right now. This was still a work event for him so he couldn’t be by her side through it all. They had gotten separated somewhere along the way. She was now looking at one of the styled outfits on display that caught her eye.

“Y/N,” she heard her name called by an unfamiliar voice.

Turning her head, she made out the face to be Harry’s boss from one of her too many visits to his job. “Mr. Bardot, you’re Harry’s boss. Hello.”

“That I am, and you’re his…”

She was never asked this question before, they weren’t technically anything official. It had only been ten days for goodness sake.

“I’m his date.”

“Right, but I’ve seen you lingering around my office more than once. You can’t be just a date.” She swallowed nervously not knowing what to exactly say.

“I guess you could say that I’m more than just a date. Harry and I have a weird dynamic.” She ended her sentence with a peal of nervous laughter hoping that his nosy boss would catch a hint, and go meddle in someone else’s business. Turning back to look at the styled piece, she nearly spits out her champagne at his next sentence.

“Right, I guess things do become weird once you fall in love with someone.” He said nonchalantly.

Turning her head back to him, “l-love? I didn’t say that.”

“Well, that’s what would make it a weird dynamic, right? I mean I’ve been looking at you both since you walked in together. That looked like love.”

Y/N felt as if she was having some kind of existential crisis, it was if she had started questioning everything. She knew that her feelings for Harry were growing rapidly without her even knowing. But love? It was as if everything had come crashing down on her at once.

Even though all the silly gimmicks that she pulled, she had gotten to know him on a personal level. There were real feelings and moments between them. Moments that caused her to have butterflies in her stomach anytime she thought of them. Y/N looked at his boss while she stumbled on her words.

“I think you know deep down. For what it is worth, I believe he feels the same.” With that said he was gone leaving her alone in her thoughts. Swallowing her emotions that were trying to come up, she downed the rest of her drink.

Harry was having a rather sociable night. He’s talked to every important person here that would only further his career. Even an older woman who got a bit too handsy with him. Through it all, he just had one person missing by his side. Harry was on his way to go find her because everyone was soon to be seated.

“Styles,” he heard his name being called. He knew who it was immediately because his boss was the only person to call his last name instead of Harry.

“I met her. The girl is in love with you. Congratulations, the campaign is all yours.”

With that said his boss disappeared into the crowd as Harry stood there trying to process what he had said.

“Y/N is in love with me,” he whispered to himself. Scanning the room for his girl in the yellow dress, his eyes spotted her sitting at a table near the front of the stage.

“She’s in love with me,” Harry said in disbelief. Just as he was about to pick up his heart off the floor and head to her, someone else got in between them.

“Oh, you’re looking at, Y/N.”

He turned to see an older woman watching Y/N along with him. “You know her?” He asked still staring her down.

“I’m her boss, she is one of the star journalists at my company. Right now, I asked her to work on this assignment of making some unlucky guy out there fall in love with her. She had ten days to fool someone, and the stories she has told us are ridiculous. We actually kind of feel for the guy.”

Harry felt his heart drop hearing her boss speak about this unlucky guy. He was the unlucky guy. Her boss kept talking in his ear, repeating all of the things that Y/N had done to him. So, many emotions crashed into his body at once. He felt embarrassed that he was the laughing stock in her life, he felt stupid for not seeing through her behavior then getting played by her, and lastly, he felt betrayed for falling in love with a girl who clearly never felt those feelings.

Walking away from Y/N’s boss in the middle of her talking, he walked to the bar in desperate need of a moment to collect his thoughts.

Little did he know Y/N was across the gala with a smile on her face waiting for Harry as the dinner was about to start, she felt the presence of someone behind her thinking that it was Harry, only for it to be his two friends from work.

“Hey, guys,” she said as they sat down confused as to why they were here.

“Hi, Y/N. We just wanted to ask you something. Harry has worked really hard in the company to finally get where he is; So, if you could just keep playing along with our boss and pretending that you’re in love with him that would be great.” Y/N’s face dropped at his words.

“Yes, he doesn’t need to know anything about the bet. Just smile and convince him that you’re in love.” Harry’s other coworker added in.

Y/N picked up her champagne glass swallowing the remains. She agreed so that they could leave the table and leave her the hell alone.

It was hard to pinpoint one emotion that was running through her body but the main one was at herself. She felt foolish for falling for Harry. All his chivalry, and how she looked at her were all fake. A surge of anger ran through her, ad a person is never more vulnerable than when they’re angry. Anger is only a protective shield to protect the sadness she didn’t feel like showing yet.

It was as if she could feel a burning stare in her neck. When she turned, she could see Harry watching her from across the room. Both of them have hardening stares. Harry’s jaw was clenched as he tried to control himself since this was a work event. Y/N scoffed at him turning away, not even wanting to look at him.

What reason does he have to be mad?

What reason does she have to be mad?

Both of them thought at the same time.

The lights in the room began to dim signaling that it was time to pay attention to the stage. Harry moved through the dining area but ended up getting stopped by the same older woman from before who didn’t know how to keep her hands to herself.

He tried to move away as he heard the announcer introduce the performer for tonight. Just as he thought his night couldn’t get more dramatic, he heard the sweet voice that he is the most upset with right now.

“Yes, let’s all give a hand for this. I’m sorry to impose but I just needed to give a special shout-out to someone. Harry Styles is a hard-working man, a great swimmer, and a real charmer. He cares deeply about his job and is willing to do anything to succeed.” Y/N and Harry stared each other down as if they had become sworn enemies in their short time here.

“I must say, that even though he has many great attributes. Out of all of his many great talents is that he is a hell of a singer. And he has decided tonight to perform for you all. Harry, come on stage and sing your song.” She said with a fake smile as a spotlight found Harry standing in the middle of the room.

Harry couldn’t believe her, clearly, she had found out about his bet and wanted to make a spectacle. He would give her what she wanted. Everyone in the room clapped, encouraging Harry to go.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Harry Styles.” She said with an artificial voice. Adjusting his double-breasted jacket, he moved through the crowd keeping his eyes on her as he walked onto the stage. She placed the mic down on a stool, and began to make her escape. Harry dashed to the stage picking up the mic as she tried to leave.

“Y/N. Y/N don’t leave. You couldn’t dare walk out and not show the world that beautiful voice of yours.” If looks could kill Harry would have passed out on that stage. “Doesn’t everyone want to hear a duet tonight?” The crowd went wild wanting more than ever for the pair to do a song together.

Y/N flashed an awkward smile at the cheers. “Everyone please, give a warm welcome to, Y/N.”

Harry grabbed a mic that wasn’t in use and held it out for her to grab, Y/N wasn’t going to back down at him challenging her right now. So, with a smile on her face, she walked right back up to the stage. As Harry turned to the band asking if they could play a certain song for them.

As the instrumental for You’re So Vain began to play. Y/N was now on stage as Harry nodded his head to the beat. “Oh, that’s nice,” he said on the mic turning to face her.

“You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht.” He said emphasizing his words as he sang. Y/N rolled her eyes at him as she grabbed the free mic from his hand aggressively.

He continued going, taunting her and not really knowing any of the words. This only further upset her because now she needed to correct him. Getting sick of his antics she went to go sing.

“And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner,” she said in a mocking tone really giving the audience a show. Not one that they expected but one filled with drama and tension.

“Harry’s so vain,” she sang into the mic off-key.

“You probably think this song is about you. Harry Styles, you’re so vain.” She dragged out her singing as Harry attempted to talk over her muttering that she was the vain one.

Getting sick of being up here she stopped in the middle to direct her attention to him as if they were in the room alone. The instrumental of the song kept playing as they talked in the mic letting everyone hear them. “You tricked me into falling in love with you. Do you have an ounce of shame?”

“And what did you do? You trashed my place and took me to some fake ass couples therapy so that you, you Y/N could have a promotion. You also made me miss the biggest game of the season.” He said on the mic arguing his side of things.

“Do we hear that ladies and gentlemen, Harry missed a game? I want everyone to know that your sex is lame.” She said in a singsong voice.

“You named my dick princess Sofia,” Harry said arguing back as the audience gasped at the back and forth between them.

“Well, why did you have to bring that up?” Y/N said as the crowd now began to laugh at them. It was a hot mess and everyone was eating up the drama of it all.

“You’re so vain.”

“No, you’re so vain!” Y/N finished off getting sick of all of this back and forth, and threw her mic down to exit stage left.

“There she goes, ladies and gentlemen. Running away, good job, Y/N.” Harry yelled on the mic. As she tried to run through the gala, Harry dropped his mic and immediately ran after her. He wasn’t going to let her get away this easily.

Pushing through the bulky doors of the gala, she ran down the steps trying not to trip on her dress.

Harry was right on her tail, and as he watched her approach the bottom of the stairs he called out for her. “Y/N, just wait. We’re not done here.” He said losing his breath because he just had to catch her.

“No, we are done.” She said turning around. Pointing to him in anger, Harry walked right up to her with a scowl on his face.

“You played me, just to get a campaign. You’re a backstabber!”

“Oh, so you’re innocent? Coming into my life and turning it upside down for a fucking article. Was it worth it?” Harry said in complete anger. He was in love with her, he knew this for certain. Now it all meant nothing. It wasn’t going to go anywhere because she doesn’t have the same feelings as him.

The both of them looked away from each other, Harry had to walk away for a moment gathering this anger inside of him. He didn’t want to yell at her or act this way toward her. He couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal. He didn’t like this feeling. That anger that Y/N started to have was melting down to just pure sadness. Harry wasn’t in love with her. He only had one goal in mind and accomplished it.

“So that’s all I was to you?” Harry said turning around to face her again. Instead of anger being laced through his voice, it was low and full of sorrow. “Just some project to you. Something for you and your coworkers to get a good laugh at?”

“I guess I was just some random girl that you picked out.”

“Your readers are going to love this. What a beautiful twist for you, truly, I hope they love the article.” Harry said with sarcasm dripping in his voice.

“I wonder what the odds are of them liking it, want to bet on it?” She said with a sour tone. Tears began to fill her eyes, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of crying infront of him.

“Bravo, Y/N. Your job was to lose a guy in ten days, and guess what? You just lost him. Congratulations.” Harry attempted to walk away from her for good wanting to have the last word.

“How can I lose a man that I never had, Harry?” With that said she turned around no longer wanting to be here. Harry watched with a heavy heart as the woman that he loved walked away from him for the last time.

…

The last few days for Y/N have been hard. She had ended up writing, and turning in the article wanting to finish her assignment. When she turned in her article, she also notified her boss that she would be resigning. This place no longer served what she needed, and she could see that even though she had completed her boss’ task, her boss wasn’t willing to give her what she had promised. Walking out of the office building for the last time was bittersweet, but it was the next step in her life. Heading to her apartment, she was beginning to pack for her move across the country.

…

Harry had thrown himself into work. Yes, he loved that he had gotten the campaign, but at what cost? It was as if the world was mocking him each time he had to go into his job. Right now, he was giving his opinion on one of the fabrics as his friend approached him.

“Harry, I think that you would like to see this.”

He turned around only to be faced with a magazine. A magazine with his girl right on the front. Well, it wasn’t his girl. She never truly was. Taking it from his hands. He started lipping through the pages, he found her article and began to read it. Once he got to the bottom, what he read shocked him. It was almost as if he could hear her voice.

When I began to write this article, it was to call out all the silly dating faux pas. In the end, I ended up losing someone special to me.

Those same emotions hit Harry. It wasn’t one of anger but what he had initially felt for her. Love. He needed to get to her. Harry refused to go on another day without her because of the mistakes that they both made.

“I need you to look over this, I need to go get my girl.”

Rushing out of his office building, Harry grabbed the helmet to his motorcycle he pulled out of storage to ride trying to get Y/N off his mind. He was thankful that he had it because New York traffic was a bitch. Speeding down the streets of Manhattan. He first arrived at her job hoping that she would be there.

He needed her to be there.

“Sorry, she is not here. Y/N quit two days ago, she is heading to the airport right now to go to an interview across the country.” Her coworkers told him as he cursed himself.

Looking more at her coworker's face he noticed her, “I knew that you weren’t a real therapist.” He said walking away from her and grabbing their love roses that Y/N happened to leave behind.

“She made me do it.” Her friend said smiling at him.

“You owe me money,” Harry called out exiting the building.

He hopped right back on his bike and began his journey to her apartment. Just as he approached her could see her hair as she climbed into the back of a cab. Due to the noises in the city, there was no way for her to hear him calling out her name.

“Shit, I’m not giving up on you,” he said to himself. Revving his bike, he dodged in and out of traffic tracking her cab. Even almost getting her cab mixed up with a sea of yellow cabs. He gained speed as they approached a bridge. Harry could see the silhouette of her head in the back of the cab. Pulling up to the side of her cab, he hit the window, startling her.

“Harry? What are you doing?” She said in disbelief as she lowered her window.

“Pull over, Y/N we need to talk.” He screamed in the wind. He pointed to an area where technically it would be illegal to stop but would make them not stop traffic. Not wanting Harry to die, Y/N kindly asked her driver to pull over. Even though it was an inconvenience, he pulled over. Y/N hopped out of the car as Harry took off his helmet.

“If you’re trying to get yourself killed then you’re on the right track,” Y/N told him crossing her arms.

“Is this true?” He asked in distress holding up the magazine. He needed to hear these words from her. He needed to know that this wasn’t for her to sell some articles and that what she wrote were her true emotions.

“Harry, please. I have an interview-”

“Is this true, Y/N? Please, just answer the question and I’ll walk away forever if you want me to.”

Y/N swallowed her pride and for once put down the shield that she would have normally had up. “Everything that I wrote is real. I would never be that vulnerable if it wasn’t how I felt, Harry.” She said feeling herself get choked up.

“Then why are you leaving me?”

“I need to find a job, Harry. I want to be a journalist, writing real stories with meaning. I can’t do that here.” She said wiping the stray tear that decided to escape.

“I know you have an interview. A journalist like you doesn’t need to travel across the country to find something. You fit in right here. You deserve to be right here. There isn’t a job in New York you could find to love every single part of you.” Harry spoke to her wanting her to see, and understand the talent that she had inside of her.

“Where are you going?” He asked the same question only different this time. Y/N bit her lip because she was at a loss for words. Here was this beautiful soul she had known, and got to love practically begging her to stay.

“I told you it’s the only place I can go if I want to be a real journalist.”

“Well, I think that you’re running away.”

“You can keep these thoughts for the next girl you want to bet on, I’m not running away?” She said going to turn and climb right back in the car.

“Are you going to fold?”

Y/N stops in her tracks.

“If you tell me right now that this, this between us, is a risk for you; And you don’t want to take that risk. I want you to tell me. I need you to look me in my eyes and tell me. Tell me you fold. Because for me, you’re worth every risk. Time and time again I would choose you.” Y/N turned around to face him taking in every emotion across his face.

He wanted this. He wanted them together.

Harry stepped closer to her getting into her space, they were so close yet miles apart. He wanted to taste her lips again. He wanted to breathe in that scent that he fell in love with.

“Lady, what are you going to do? I have places to be.” Her cab driver asked. Harry could look into her eyes and tell that she wanted to say yes. They were worth the risk. His stubborn girl wanted him just as much as he needed her.

Pulling out his wallet, Harry pulled out a large bill and handed it to the driver while keeping his eyes on her. “Take her stuff back to the apartment. She will be riding with me.”

“How do you know what I’ll say?” She asked with a smile dancing on her lips.

“I’m calling your bluff, baby.” At those words, Harry took her face in between his hands, and connected their lips together. He never knew that he could miss a person this much. Y/N was elated at this feeling inside of her. Love was hard and consuming but it was all worth it. She wouldn’t change one thing that happened to lead them to this moment.

Breaking away from the kiss, they held hands as they walked toward his motorcycle. “Look who tagged along.”

“Our love roses. I love you so much, Harrybooboo.” She teased pinching his cheek with one hand as she went to go pick up the roses with the other.

“I love you more, honey. I’m never letting this relationship die again.”

#harry styles #harry styles fan fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles fic rec #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles x y/n #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine

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goatchulu · 4 years ago

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jealous! lucifer x gender neutral! reader

Genre: fluff, ig? slight smut in the end.

Fandom: obey me!

Prompt: you find yourself in a fake relationship, and now you're introducing your "boyfriend" to the demom brothers. they don't take it so well, especially lucifer.

Warnings: mentions of drinking, mentions of harassment and stalking, they make out in the end, reader's gender is unmentioned for your imagination (and inclusion).

lucifer takes another swig of his whisky, a slight burning sensation lingering on his throat. no matter the amount of alcohol he consumed that night, he couldn't escape the bitter feeling that was left inside his chest.

the two of you have been hitting it off pretty well for the past few weeks, if he could say so himself. the harmless complimenting and the subtle glancing had turned into ardent flirting and shows of affection overtime. you two were finally going somewhere with your mutual pinning, or so he thought.

lucifer didn't think his small (not so small) crush on you would lead anywhere, really. nor did he think you would reciprocate his infatuation. but with all the friendly interactions you had of late, anyone would assume you two were together in a romantic light.

now look, lucifer prides himself as a person. he was assertive, efficient, productive, level-headed and the voice of reason when stress is most prominent. but as a lover? lucifer wasn't so sure. he assumed you'd like someone more jolly and eccentric like mammon or someone more confident and charismatic like asmodeus. he didn't expect for you to even spare him a second glance when it came to the dating game. lucifer was a busy man after all, and he wasn't the most expressive when it came to emotions; not very ideal for a lover.

but what lucifer also did not expect was for you to bring home a common demon boy and introduce him as your significant other.

let's just say that all the built up tension and courting were all ruined by a single dinner party.

you had gathered all the demon brothers earlier that morning, claiming you had an important announcement to make. you went as far as inviting diavolo and his loyal butler, barbatos, to spend the evening over for dinner. they thanked you for the invitation, but they unfortunately, could not attend because of their hectic schedules.

lucifer, on the other hand, was more than happy to accept your invitation (though he was quick to cover up the smile he held when you came up to him). seeing as he already lives under the same roof as you, anways. his happiness would soon be diminished and grinded into dirty, pathetic, dust, though.

lucifer's eyes narrow as mammon's loud laughter bounces off the walls of the dining room. lucienne, your "boyfriend", had managed to crack the demon up with one of his silly stories about a strange elderly wizard that sold expensive medication made out of fairy wings that turned out to just be bedazzled dragon fly wings. he worked wonders with the avatar of greed, considering the fact that just a moment ago, mammon was cursing in jealousy and resentment as you sat with your newly introduced boyfriend.

luficer would've told mammon to shut up, but he feared saying something far more vulgar out of anger. the previous tension was already eased into a more domesticated athmosphere (credits to lucienne's charm and humor), lucifer didn't want to ruin dinner for his brothers, and especially not for you.

i mean, lucifer felt betrayed, he felt used and-- and played. how could you lead him on like this? but deep inside, he knew there was something else. he felt disappointed, he felt defeated, he felt crushed, he wished he'd done something sooner before this lucienne stole you away from him.

but anyways, back to the dinner party.

"you seem unusually quiet, lucy." asmo teases from across lucifer's seat. the phrase seems to capture everyone's attention, all eyes now on the grimacing and glaring lucifer.

"asmo's right, you haven't uttered a word since lucienne arrived, lucifer. is something wrong?" you chime in, causing lucifer to perk up. the thought of you worrying about his state sent sparks into his heart, but they were quick to disappear when lucienne asks him the same question.

"i'm fine." he replies to your concern, unable to hide the venom that strung on to his words. this only causes asmodeus to snicker, and leviathan to sink deeper into his seat. everyone else watches in concern as lucifer downs another glass of demom whiskey. you're about to ask him again, unsure about his reply, but he stops you before you could even form a word.

"i said i'm fine."

the air is tense, until eventually, mammon gasps out of nowhere. "don't tell me! lucifer is jealous!!~" he repeats in a sing song manner, only irking lucifer even further. no one else speaks up, the whole situation akward enough.

after a while, though, lucienne speaks up. he gestures at mammon, especially. hoping to stop the demon from escalating the situation. "hey mammon, wanna hear about that one time i accidentally professed my love for my eight grade math teacher?" mammon only settles back into his seat, ready for another laughing fit. the avatar of pride snaps at this, slamming his fists down the table before abruptly excusing himself with a "i have something to do."

he spares you one last glance. his heart aching with guilt from the way you had lowered your head in shame. lucifer didn't want to make you feel like he owned you, or that you weren't allowed to be with someone else... he just, he has enough reason to justify his anger right now and he really wants to dwell in it. he turns his head away from you, biting his lip to contain the guilt and pain that was threatening to seep out. he doesn't turn to look back as he walks away from the dining room in long and rushed strides.

lucifer walks down the dark hallways of lamentation, familiar with every nook and cranny the mansion had. he sighs in relief as his palm reaches out for a familiar door. it creaks as lucifer walks into his room, sounding just as glum as lucifer is.

he heads straight to his paperwork, silently hoping that they would provide him some sort of comfort. he tries to focus on anything but the thought of you or your unavailability, his mind barely processing any of the words that were printed out in front of him. he groans, his hands pulling on his jet black hair in frustration.

i mean, he should've expected this. lucienne was everything lucifer thought you would love. funny outgoing, caring, expressive, charismatic, a smooth talker and he looked at you with utmost respect and admiration. i mean, who in their right mind would choose old-schooled lucifer over the flawless lucienne?

you deserve lucienne and although lucifer thinks that no one in the three realms could ever deserve to call you theirs, he still thinks that lucienne is more deserving of you than lucifer could ever be. what were you doing to the poor demon? he was never one to admit defeat like this, and he especially wasn't the type of person that'd lower themself like this.

his rollercoaster of thoughts are interrupted by a gentle knock on the door. his ears already familiar with this particular knocking pattern. he can't help but straighten himself up, suddenly aware of the way his hair is all sprawled out. he slicks it down with saliva, muttering a small "enter" soon after he finshes checking on his appearance.

his mood lightens just a little bit at the sight of your face. as much as lucifer wants to hate you right now, he couldn't possibly feel that way towards you. never, not in a quadrillion light years.

you sit down in front of him, a genuine look of concern on your face. this makes lucifer visibly frown, catching you a bit off guard. "i wanted to talk to you about something, lucifer." his eyes grow curious and a bit hopeful, wishing it were about something that would distract him from the current situation or give him even the tiniest bit of closure.

"it's about lucienne." and once again, you manage to crush all his hope with only a few words. lucifer swears that if he hears that name one more time, he would personally shove your lovely boyfriend down the deepest depths of the underworld.

you watch his brows furrow and his fist tighten on his quill. lucifer looks far from happy to hear you talk about your significant other right now. "look, i know you'd rather not hear about lucienne again, but it's really really important and i want you to just hear me out. just this once, please?"

lucifer couldn't stand the pleading look you were giving him. your puppy eyes were a weapon that you used on him often, and they always managed to work. a tired sigh leaves his lips, if it meant getting it over with then he'd listen. "fine," he snaps, not before rubbing at his temple in obvious distress. he's said fine, but his body language told you otherwise.

"someone's kind of harassing lucienne at the moment. stalking him, giving him unwanted gifts and constantly professing their love for him when he's told them multiple times that it made him uncomfortable. they're an admirer of some sorts. i'm posing as lucienne's lover in hopes that they'd back off for a while, but i wanted to see if you and diavolo could do some actual help. it's worrisome, really. and it's been stressing lucienne out for the past couple of weeks. pretending to be his significant other is the most i can do for him, i hope you understand."

lucifer only freezes in shock, guilt washing over him all so suddenly. you call out for him, effectively snapping him out of his short daze. of course you'd offer to help lucienne out, you've always been a kind person. in lucifer's eyes, atleast. he coughs into his hand, avoiding eye contact with you as he degrades himself for his previous selfishness.

"of course, i'll do my best to make sure this harasser is punished. the school and i will ensure that lucienne won't be seeing this stalker anytime soon. just keep supporting him like this, i suppose. tell him he can sleep here for the night. thank you for informing me about this." you smile at lucifer's response, relief overwhelming your senses. if this meant that lucienne was finally going to be safe and unbothered, you were overjoyed.

you jump at lucifer, thanking him, all the while, squeezing the life out of him. his heart races impossibly fast at the gesture, and you can't help but smirk at the red that tainted his cheeks. "just so you know, i still like you. and only you, lucy."

his breath comes to a halt. he was no longer able to contain the butterflies that crowded his stomach; shock and well, pure bliss apparent on his face. "does this mean i can kiss you?"

"do anything as you please."

lucifer lunges at you. capturing your lips into a hungry and impatient kiss. his hands roam all over your torso, looking for anything he could hold onto. he settles for your waist and you drape your hands over his shoulders. heaven knows how long he's been waiting for this moment.

he manages to stumble through his room, leading you two to his bed. you part as he pushes you down to sit at the end of his king sized bed. he grins at the sight of you, disheveled and thirsty for more. the avatar of pride couldn't help but be excited for the faces you'll make in the unholy endeavors he's planning for you. he'll devour you, tear apart every innocent limb you have in your body. his imagination runs wild as he thinks of the many ways he'd mark you as his, exhibit you to the world and spread you wide open for his contenders to see. for them to know just how pathetic and needy lucifer could make you in an instant.

he bends down to kiss you again, pushing against your tounge with his own. he squeezes your thighs, digging his nails deep into the skin under the cloth still covering you. groans and grunts leave your lips as he countinues to caress your plush thighs.

as you two part, panting, a newfound possessiveness overtakes lucifer's eyes.

"you're mine."

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lavenderjacobs · 4 years ago

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fluff alphabet - Sapnap

➳ wc; 2,1K (she’s a long one lol) ➳ pronouns; gender neutral<3 ➳ song reccomendation; heart eyes - coin

A=Attractive (What do they find most attractive in a partner?)

nick’s an ass guy and you can’t convince me otherwise. he’s also just loves your thighs and your stomach. he loves how soft your skin is, and how good you smell. whenever he’s sad he just rests his head on your stomach while you tangle you fingers in his hair.

B=Best memory (Their favourite memory of you)

he cherishes your first kiss so much. he just has such a soft spot for that memory. the moment he finally found out you felt the same about him, the moment he finally found out what your lips against his felt like. it’s just something he had looked forward to for forever, and to him, it was perfect.

C=Cuddles (What type of cuddles do they like?)

sapnap is a WHORE for cuddles. if it where up to him, you two would just lay in bed all day, tangled in each other’s arms. after a long day, he just wants to hold his favourite person and fall asleep with them, so he just wraps his arms around your waist while he uses your chest as a pillow. but if he’s in a chatty mood, he’ll just talk your ears off, ranting about something he finds interesting, while you’re all snuggled up in the crook between his neck and shoulder.

D=Dirty mind (Do they have a dirty mind?)

I mean, come on. it’s sapnap. we all know he does. he gets *excited* very easily, which can sometimes get in the way when you two are just trying to cuddle. he just has such a soft spot for your body and has to have his way with you once certain ideas have entered his mind.

E=Effort (How much effort do they put in the relationship?)

nick would definitely try his best. honestly you don't care if his plans actually turn out the way he intented them to, it's the thought that counts. and nick knows that. but theres just something about you that makes him want to spoil you and treat you like a princess. so prepare yourself for fancy dates, him making you your favorite food, all that type of stuff.

F=First date (What was your first date together)

arcade date arcade date arcade date. sap is super competitive and I feel like he would thrive in an arcade. he would play it off like he was just trying to proof how good he was at the arcade games. but he'd just love to see how hard you would be trying to beat him. obviously he'd let you win a lot, and when he collected enough tickets, he would get you the biggest prize he could find.

G=Gentle (How gentle are they with you?)

it....depends???? lmao. nick CAN be super gentle with you, he’s pretty protective of you and would never want you to get hurt, so he’s definitely very careful not to do anything to hurt you. but sometimes his instinct just kinda takes over and well, he can get pretty rough.

H=Hands (Do they have nice hands?)

hmmm nick has like,,very manly hands,, if you know what i mean. i dont know, they're just so rough but yet so pretty??? and they're like really big compared to yours so when he holds ur hand, yours looks so tiny in his. and omg he won't shut up about it. "LOOK AT YOUR HANDS THEY'RE SO SMALL🥺"

I=Impression (What was their first impression?)

he just thought you were so ~cool~. like he immediately knew he wanted to be your friend. he was just so in awe of how funny, chill and charismatic you were. and it literally took two days for him to develop a crush on you. his friends would notice this right away and tease him about it so much omg.

J=Jealousy (Do they get jealous often? If so what do they do?)

YUP. nick gets jealous so easy yup yup yup. jealousy, protectiveness, possessiveness, you name it. you two would often get in fights about this, but most of the time you would just think it’s cute how riled up he gets. he doesn’t get mad at you (because you’re his precious little baby and can do no wrong in his eyes :D) but god help the souls of whoever tries to flirt with you, because they’ve got a hell of a storm coming.

K=Kisses (What type of kisses do they like/give?)

god nick’s such a passionate kisser. or at least he can be lol. he loves the way your face fits into his hands, and how soft your lips are. so he definitely is a fan of just some wholesome passionate kisses. but damn this man gets sloppy when he wants to. his lips constantly trails off to your jaw, neck and collar bones.

L=Love (Do they show their love?)

i feel like his love language would be like a mix between words of affection and physical touch??? he’s definitely very verbal with his love for you. he doesn’t shy away from saying i love you or letting you know how much he appreciates you in any other way.

M=Memory: (Their favourite memory in general?)

there are certain moments where nick just sits back, watches, and realizes how amazing his life is. and how grateful he is to have you. for example, you were playing minecraft on his pc, and your house kept getting blown up by creepers, he found it adorable how mad you got every time. he just watched you play, while sitting on his bed. after a while, you looked over at him, and caught him staring. “what?” you asked after letting out a soft chuckle. he felt like he was gonna explode from how much he loved you.

N=Nickname (What nicknames do they call you?)

i’m getting very strong “baby” and “doll” vibes from nick. he loves baby-ing you and smothering you with other loving nicknames. just any petnames that show how much he loves you he’s all for. he would also love calling you “pretty” or “beautiful” for obvious reasons.

O=Over (What happened the one time you ��broke up’?)

nick HATES fighting with you, but once you two get into an argument he can get pretty carried away. he’s definitely the type to let his emotions get the upper hand on him. raising his voice a lot, stuff like that. but the second you leave to get some space he just breaks down. sliding down the wall and resting his face in his hands, just letting all the emotions out. he never meant to hurt you. when you came back to him, ready to be enclosed in his arms again, he had a hard time letting you back in. he just felt like he didn’t deserve you after he treated you like this. it took some convincing, but once you broke down his walls again, it was like he gave you all the love in his body. just smothering you with “i’m sorry”s and kisses.

P=Parents (What would they be like as a parent?)

dilfnap dilfnap dilfnap omg he’d be such a good dad. like just very caring and loving, but also strict and stern when he needs to be. he’d constantly be telling stories to the kids about the absurd adventures him and his friends would get into, and omg the dad jokes he’d make. idk maybe it’s my daddy issues but dad sapnap lives in my mind rent free.

Q=Quirk (Something special about them)

he loves holding your hand. especially in public. if you’re in a crowded space, he just holds onto you very tightly as not to lose you. or if you two are just going on a walk together, his hands would just feel so warm and soft around yours. and omg he loves it when his hands are in his pockets, and you put your hands in there with him, and intertwine your fingers with his. hmmm he gets so soft when you do that.

R=Romantic (How romantic are they?)

i- uh- I MEAN HE WOULD TRY he really would, and again, that’s all that matters. I feel like he would be the type to try to prepare a whole surprise dinner, he would cook all the food himself, he would set the table all cute, with candles and shit, but just completely ruin the surprise by accidentally giving it all away by saying something or just behaving very obviously suspicious.

S=Sad (What are they like when they’re sad?)

he just gets really quiet. he would never want to bother you or be a pain in the ass by complaining to you. but obviously you notice when something is wrong with ur bby boy. a sentence like “are you okay?” or “what’s wrong?” would immediately send him over the edge, burying his face in your chest, trying his best to supress his sobs. but he eventually calms down, and once he does, he’s able to just rant to you about whatever is bothering him.

T=Together (What are they like when you’re together?)

i feel like it would really depend on his mood, like he could be either SUPER chill, just wanting to savour the time you two had together. or he could be really hyper, constantly talking, wanting to do all kinds of activities with you. he’d be the literal definition of :D

U=Understanding (How understanding and empathetic are they?)

very. i just get such empathetic vibes from him. he’s such a good listener and he’ll just listen to you talk whenever you have something to be upset about. he never invalidates your feelings and omg he’d give the best advice.

V=Value (What do they value most about the relationship?)

he loves that he can 100% be his self around you. there’s no part of his personality that he feels like he has to hide, or tone down, whenever he’s with you. you also aspire him to be his best self, he just wants to be the best boyfriend in the world. all his friends have noticed this too, you bring out the best in him.

W=Wedding (Would they want marriage? If so what would they like?)

eh. if you’re a person who really values marriage, he’d 100% do it for you. but it’s not like he HAS to. he gets a bit scared by the idea of this whole big event, where everything is about you two, he would way rather celebrate the love you two have in the comfort of your own home, just the two of you. the one thing he would love about a wedding, would be seeing you all dolled up, walking down the aisle, omg he’d be the proudest man ever to be able to call you his.

X=X-Ray (How well can they read you?)

the SECOND you start to feel sad or depressed in any way, nick notices immediately. he knows you better than anybody else, and he knows exactly what to do to cheer you up. it’s like his superpower. if you’re feeling anxious he’ll just wrap his arms around you really tightly, holding on to you until you calm down. and when you’re sad, and in need for something to cheer you up, he’ll take you outside for a walk in the park, or he’ll just sit in bed with you, watching your favourite show.

Y=Yuck (What they would never want in a partner)

he hates when you flirt with his friend, even when you’re very obviously joking. his jealous ass can’t deal with that lmao. he also gets super pissed when his friends make flirtatious jokes towards you, they know how much it gets on his nerves and that’s really the only reason they do it. but omg he gets so pissed when it happens.

Zzz (How do they sleep around you?)

nick would be the cutest sleeper ever omg. he doesn’t like to admit it, but he loves being little spoon. he loves resting his head on your chest, while you play with his hair, patiently waiting for him to fall asleep.

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years ago

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Let’s talk: Serendipity with a side of 4 O’Clock and other guest appearances

by Admin 1 and 2

We’ve been meaning to write a analysis/theory/discussion on Serendipity for the longest time, especially after I once mentioned in a previous post how I think the song can be interpreted in a way that works for both vmin and namjin. So, while I’ll add my thoughts in regard to the latter, the vmin portion is more based on conclusions and thoughts Admin 2 arrived at. I think their idea presents a perspective I haven’t really seen anywhere else before yet, so I think it’ll hopefully be interesting.

As with any song analysis/discussion/theories, this only represents some of our interpretations which don’t have to be right and no one is meant to take this as gospel. Art is subjective and while we all listen to the same song, read the same lyrics, our understanding and thoughts may/will vary, so you might not agree with any of what we say and you are not obliged to do so. This is just meant as a discussion, some pondering, and perhaps we can discover something along the way that we haven’t considered yet.

With that being said, let’s get into it.

Additional preface: this post will work off of the assumption that both vmin and namjin have romantic feelings for each other and/or are together. If this isn’t an angel you’re interested in reading about, this likely isn’t the post for you. Furthermore, if you’d prefer to put on your delulu hat for the duration of this post, please take a moment to put it on now. Enjoy!

All lyric translations are from doolset.

Serendipity is the opening song on Love Yourself: Her, the first album of the Love Yourself trilogy, and was released September 18th 2017. Of all the members, Namjoon is the only one credited as lyricist on it along with four other people (two outsiders, Slow Rabbit and Bang PD). Based on that we can say that Namjoon definitely had a big influence of the content of the lyrics and the story they tell so analyzing the song in the context of Namjoon makes sense. But at the same time the song is Jimin’s solo so I don’t think it is that farfetched to think that he kept Jimin in mind when writing the lyrics, and judging by how attached vmin, and especially Tae, seem to be to this song, thinking that there might be more to it than just the fact that it’s Jimin’s solo, again, seems like a sensible conclusion to arrive at. In 2020 Tae even used a moment where he recommended Serendipity (as part of the digital Map of the Soul ON:E Exhibition which, by the way, opened on Jimin’s birthday) in order to wish Jimin a happy birthday.

Serendipity /ˌsɛr(ə)nˈdɪpɪti/ as: the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

Looking at the meaning of the title and the big focus on the concept of destiny displayed in the lyrics, I think it makes a lot of sense in the context of Bangtan. The members themselves have spoken about how it was meant to be them, these seven men, and just think about how many different factors had to work in their favor for them to end up not only as trainees for BigHit but also as members of BTS. If Seokjin hadn’t gotten on that specific bus and gotten off on that station the BigHit staff might’ve never seen him and approached him, if Tae hadn’t gone with his friend to the audition and hadn’t gotten talked into auditioning himself, he wouldn't even be an idol at all, and if Jimin’s dance teacher hadn’t encouraged him to audition he wouldn’t have come as trainee to Seoul either. And if one of the BigHit producers hadn’t seen Namjoon, hadn’t shown him to Bang PD, BTS wouldn’t have been created at all. As the lyrics themselves say:

이 모든 건 우연이 아냐 All this is not a coincidence

Timeline wise we think Serendipity is about two different moments in time depending if you look at vmin or namjin. For the latter I’d say it’s about the beginning of their relationship which, if namjinists are right in our thoughts and theories, would put this sometime 2013. Meanwhile for vmin, Admin 2 actually thinks it would be 2016, more specifically the time of the dumpling incident, so before FIRE was released. This also leads us to the main idea that Admin 2 arrived at and thought of, being that Serendipity and 4 O’Clock tell two sides to the same story, as in Tae in 4 O’Clock is the one waiting for the other person, who describes the moment in time and the feelings he had when that person came to meet him. Meanwhile Jimin is the one who came to meet him, who asks him to love him, who cried because of his feelings and who’s telling him about those feelings and thoughts (as displayed by the sentiments of Serendipity). Namjoon also wrote both, and he knew as many details of the incident as Tae was willing to share with him which, seeing how filled with emotion and deep the lyrics to 4 O’Clock are, I’m sure were rather extensive. How else would he has been able to write such beautiful lyrics?

Actually, to sidetrack for a moment, Admin 2 thinks that it’s not a coincidence that Namjoon isn’t just on 4 O’Clock was writer but also as artist, that in a way he also verbalizes his own pain/troubles through his verse even though, as far as we know, namjin never had anything that would be like the dumpling incident, but in this sense it’s more about what the incident represents rather that the literal event. As in, for vmin this was the big fight they had, a majorly significant moment that brought about a change in their dynamic and bond, and according to them it was their last big fight in general. Like a moment that was destined to happen in order to allow for them to later down the line grow into what they are today in connection to each other, but we think it was also a moment in which, while they might’ve realized and opened up to each other about their feelings, it was also when they had to realize that despite there being more to their feelings, it wasn’t the time for it.

As the lyrics in Serendipity say:

설레는 만큼 많이 두려워 As much as my heart flutters, I’m afraid

운명이 우릴 자꾸 질투해서 because the destiny keeps getting jealous of us

너만큼 나도 많이 무서워 As much scared as you are, I’m, too, scared

When you see me When you touch me

Destiny in this case represents their career and them being idols, being part of a group destined to become the phenomenon and the superstars they are today, meaning that this destiny stood in the way of their bond in a romantic sense. They had to prioritize this destiny over their feelings, over wanting to be with each other, because they were afraid of the repercussions that could otherwise bring upon them (as well as the other members). Besides, they could also look at namjin who, in a way, came before them. If theories are right and namjin were together sometimes starting in 2013, they had to eventually split romantically for the greater good of the band, so if their relationship had to take the back seat, so to speak, destiny having gotten in their way (gotten jealous of them), how could vmin know it wouldn’t be the same for them? Besides they already had so much going on with Jimin’s feelings of jealousy due to Tae’s Hwarang hyungs, Tae’s work on the drama keeping him away from the band and exhausting him even more, and the sad things still to come which they couldn’t know at that time just yet.

From Sweet Night we know that they had a first chance that Tae didn’t take, that he couldn’t have known that one day he would wake up and feel more for his best friend, as in Jimin, even though, deep down he realized that he’d long reached the shore already. So, in that park that night the conclusion they arrived at was that while they couldn’t move forward with their feelings (because perhaps Tae didn’t even know just yet the extent of his own), he realized that Jimin is an angel after he told him that he at least wants to be his source of strength which subsequently unleashed arrows of pent up emotions from his heart. So while it was a positive event in sense of it bringing clarity, to a certain degree, about their feelings for each other, it was also one of sadness because they knew they couldn’t follow those feelings. Remember how when performing 4 O’Clock Tae cried in the end? If it were a song just reminiscing about two friends making up at the park after a fight over them being stubborn about dumplings, would he really feel saddened enough to cry, to get to that level of emotionality?

Later in the song the lyrics say:

이젠 곁에 와줘 Now, please be by my side

우리가 되어줘 Please be us

I don’t wanna let go no

그�� 맡기면 되는 거야 We can just leave it to fate

말 안 해도 느껴지잖아 We can feel it even if we don’t talk

Here the important part would be the line about how they can leave things up to fate, which can be interpreted as even if things might not be what we want them to be right now or anytime soon, they will happen eventually because that’s how it’s meant to be. The lyrics generally make a lot of mention of how their love is destined, how their happiness together has been destined since the universe was first created. So it shows a sense of trust that regardless of what will happened, or might’ve happened in the past, they will find their way back together eventually (in a romantic sense). Like, again, in Sweet Night where Tae didn’t use his first chance but hopes he’ll get a second one and, judging by the hopeful tone of the song and everything that we know currently, it looks like he got it and it worked out in their favor. The same, I think, can also be said about namjin.

Looking at the lyrics of Serendipity, the idea of them being fated even though their meeting was serendipitous, Namjoon is basically telling us that here, too, he believes that his connection to Seokjin, if we are correct in the interpretation that Seokjin is the lover hinted at throughout different songs on the Love Yourself albums, was also meant to be and that it will remain as such even if they had to step away from each other romantically, that while they used to be scared back in the day to be together, to open up to each other about their feelings, it still was destiny and that it would work out in the end. Looking at how much they’ve influenced each other, how Namjoon even went as far as saying that Seokjin is his muse/inspiration in a way, would such conclusion really be all that farfetched?

The first line of the quoted verse also reminds me of the same sentiment that Jimin wrote about three years later for Friends in which he wrote:

언젠가 이 함성 멎을 때 stay hey Someday, when these cheers die down, stay hey

내 옆에 함께 있어줘 Stay with me by my side

영원히 계속 이곳에 stay hey Forever, keep staying here, hey

We know that forever/eternity is a big thing when it comes to Jimin and Tae which we’ve seen as early as 2014 with the picture of their intertwined hands that Tae posted on twt with the wish of them keeping going together for a long time and then with Jimin’s addition of saying forever. Later during Bon Voyage 4 he also said that again, how he wants to live with his lovely Taehyungie forever, and years before that how he wants them to be together until they’re grandpas.

So, in a way, it isn’t just destiny they trust that will be in their favor, but it’s also their active wish and “work” in that direction, that it’s not just something a higher force has foreseen for them but it’s also something they consciously want for themselves as well. All because of that serendipitous fact that they ended up as trainees and members of BTS.

넌 내 푸른 곰팡이 You’re my blue mold (penicillin)

날 구원해 준 that saved me

나의 천사 나의 세상 My angel, my world

Here is where we can draw two connection directly to Tae and Jimin, one because of something Jimin said about Tae years prior and the other due to the fact that as recently as the second half as 2020 (DICON Magazine) Tae said he had Jimin saved on his phone as Penicillin. We also know that after the song came out, Tae made a phone case for Jimin with the word penicillin on it which Jimin proudly used and showed off.

Furthermore penicillin itself is something that can save you, and while we might not know from what, exactly, Jimin needed to be saved, he did say that Tae is more than just his close friend, he is also his savior.

As for Namjoon, there was certainly a time where he would’ve needed someone to save him, from himself and his dark, less than life positive, thoughts (as displayed by the lyrics in Always) but also the world around them back in 2015/16 where he was seen as the worst of the worst for things he’d said that had been purposefully misconstrued and misunderstood, as well as lyrics he’d written which, again, where taken to mean things much different from what he actually tried to say. While there is nothing I can use or base any assumptions on that Seokjin would be the one/was the one who saved him, contextually, I don’t think it would be farfetched that he did help him and was there for him during that time, much the way the other members surely were too. Based on what we know about Abyss and the background of that song, we know Namjoon helped Seokjin in some ways with it, so if Seokjin came to him and spoke to him about the hard time he was having in 2020, it isn’t that out there to think that Namjoon might’ve done the same back in 2015/16, and during other times between when they first met until Namjoon wrote these lyrics, right?

난 네 삼색 고양이 I’m your calico cat

널 만나러 온 that came to meet you

Love me now touch me now

Calico cats are very rare, and usually you’ll only find female calico cats, meaning that male ones are even more rare than that. Looking at Namjoon as a person, I’d say he is a very rare type of person as well, I mean, how many teenage underground rappers turned idol group leaders who might also be queer and is also a literal genius do you know off the top of your head? Furthermore calico cats are seen as lucky cats in many cultures and places so in this sense Namjoon/Jimin would represent something lucky/positive that came to their partner which, if we again look at things that were said over the years, Jimin did say that Tae is the happiest when he’s with Jimin.

As for Namjoon and Seokjin, this could be connected to the fact that Seokjin was thankful that Namjoon is on their team, their ally, instead of someone from another group, thus seeing it as luck that they are together (Rolling Paper FESTA 2020), like he is their good luck charm that played a major role in them getting to where they are, so to speak. And yes I’m aware that he said that three years after the song was released but it wasn’t the first or only time he ever voiced such sentiment. Seokjin has underlined how much he admires Namjoon’s abilities as leader and lyricist many, many times over the years.

“Our leader, RM. This guy is amazing. There are 2 more older guys than him, yet he is great as leader. I want to thank our leader personally.” -- Seokjin as a concert which, judging by their hairstyles (and the use of Namjoon’s old artist name) must’ve been some time around Dark & Wild perhaps?

As a side note, the mention of calico cats reminds me of a picture Seokjin posted for Namjoon’s birthday in 2019 (so two years after Serendipity had already come out) in which Namjoon is seen asleep while sitting and hugging a calico cat plushy. You’ll recognize both the plushy and the ARMY B*mb hat as part of the VCRs for 4th Muster in 2018. So I’m mentioning this as more of a cute thing rather than some kind of definitive sign of any sort really. By the way, that same cat plushy can also be seen when Tae lies sleeping and Jimin sits next to him singing the calico cat line and places the plushy on Tae.

But, what I think is, for me at least, the biggest hint toward Serendipity being, to a degree at least, about/inspired by vmin is the fact that early in 2017, February more specifically, Jimin and Tae both called each other their soulmates during one of their fansigns. And what are soulmates if not two people destined to meet and be with each other, two people quite literally meant for each other? And here Jimin is singing a song about how his love for this person and his happiness with them was fated, that destiny had this planned for them regardless how scared they may be and how destiny (outside factors) might be jealous of them (keep getting in their way).

Furthermore, isn’t it curious how this song, specifically, is written as gender neutral instead of with female pronouns like their songs in the past or even Outro: Her off the same album? Yes, Namjoon explained in their interview with Billoard that this decision was one he made because these rare moments and special things in life are something that transcend genders, cultures and barriers between people, and love is also something that doesn’t care about genders, in this case love and destiny don’t care about the fact that they are all the same gender because they are fated anyway, they are soulmates, each others fated person, and their happiness is meant to be in one way or another. Together.

#vmin #namjin #song discussion #serendipity #4 o'clock #Jimin #Taehyung #Namjoon #Seokjin

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morganayenneferburnham · 3 years ago

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Have I Known You 20 Seconds or 20 Years? – Nikolai Lantsov Series

Chapter 1: Devils Roll the Dice, Angel Roll their Eyes

Chapter 2: You Did a Number on Me

Chapter 3: You Could Call Me Babe for the Weekend

A very short summary: Y/N has been working with the crows for a few years. Her life feels complete until she meets the insufferable Nikolai Lantsov. She finds herself forced to work with the King of Ravka on one of Kaz Brekker’s crazy schemes.

Word count: 2k

A/N: Finally starting to get somewhere!! I just started writing chapter 4, so it might take a bit longer before I upload again. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter in the meanwhile.

Thank you for reading! Just send me an ask if you want to be added to my taglist :)

Chapter 3: You Could Call Me Babe for the Weekend

The next morning went by in a blur. They had moved everything to Wylan’s house on Geldstraat. Kaz was right. It would’ve been too suspicious if they had left for the party from the barrel. Questions about the job were being thrown from one person to the next. Various answers about cues and schedules flying in every direction.

“Wait, what time are we supposed to get to the party again?”

“Quarter after 6 bells, Jesper!” Yelled Wylan running by with an armful of party clothes.

“Nikolai and I are getting there at 6 bells. That way it won’t look like we know each other.” Y/N had been heading off in the opposing direction.

“Wylan! You forgot your jacket in the music room” Kaz’s raspy voice was easily recognizable above the others.

“I’ll go ahead and scout for the best location for you to hide to summon the storm. I’ll come get you at a quarter to 8 bells.”

Nikolai had to admire the crows’ ability to understand each other and get the job done in such chaos. They were running back and forth in every direction trying to get everything ready. Even Zoya seemed at ease discussing the plan with Inej. He needed this job to succeed. He needed to guarantee his country’s future. Once he was done dealing with this newest threat from Fjerda…? He’d like to work with the crows again. He felt much freer. Maybe it could become a side hustle for him and Zoya. It would give them a nice break from ruling a country.

He felt a soft hand rest on his arm. “Hey, we should probably go get ready for the party. We’ll meet here at 5 bells? That way we can go over last-minute details and head over.” She was smiling up at him. Her smile was soft as if she could tell he was anxious. He let his eyes trail over her tailored face and couldn’t help but miss her true features once more.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you then, my darling.” He pressed a quick kiss to her knuckles and watched her disappear up the vast staircase.

---

Nikolai made his way to the room Wylan had so graciously offered him that morning. It was not his room at the Grand Palace, but it was much nicer than the one he’d had at the slat. He took his time putting on the rich merch’s clothes Kaz had picked out for him. He was still in awe of the work Y/N had done on him. The young king found himself unavoidably staring at himself in the mirror mounted to his wall. He finished buttoning up his shirt and folded his suit jacket on his arm. It was almost 5 bells. He knew he should make his way back to the mansion’s parlor.

Nikolai had barely sat in one of the large armchairs when an appreciative whistle sounded on his left. He followed Jesper’s gaze to the stairs. Y/N’s dress accentuated her new body in all the right places. Nikolai couldn’t help but think it would’ve suited her even better before the tailoring.

“No one warned me I’d have to fight off every man who lays eyes on my wife.” He complained.

He watched as Inej and Zoya approached Y/N. The women shared a few whispered comments before they lead Y/N to him. He could’ve sworn he saw the girl’s cheeks turn red. He had to put up a lot more effort than he was used to in schooling his own features. The way the dress moved along to the sway of her hips, with every step she took, made his brain go blank. He imagined the way it would’ve been even more sensual with her natural curves. Maybe he could convince her to wear the gown again once she’d tailored them both back to normal. His mind was racing with images of her, twirling in his arms, wearing that damned dress.

“Anything you want to go over before we get going?” She was looking at him expectantly, her eyes bright, her tailored lips stretched in a small smile.

His mouth felt dry. All eyes were on him. He had to fight to kick start his brain again. “Nope, I think we’re ready.” He offered her a hand, his natural charm coming back to him. “Shall we, my darling wife?”

She took his hand and they headed for the door leading to the elegant boathouse. “No mourners” she called over her shoulder.

A unified “No funerals” rang out behind them. Nikolai made a mental note to ask them what the saying meant, at some point, when he wasn’t so distracted by the beautiful Grisha on his arm.

---

They’d taken a small, polished boat to make their way to councilman Van Verent’s house. It had only taken a few minutes for them to reach the sophisticated boathouse on the councilman’s property. A Stadwatch officer had taken their invitation before guiding them to the stylishly decorated mansion. Flowers from every guest’s country were arranged in beautiful crystal vases matching the colourful silk ribbons adorning the banister. As they entered the main hall, they were stunned by the sheer number of guests already in attendance. The main floor was filled with dignitaries from Kerch, Novyi Zem, Shu Han, Fjerda, and the Wandering Isle. Nikolai noticed the absence of anyone representing his country. Good, he thought, it’ll make the job easier.

To his dismay, Y/N was already catching the eye of a few men standing off to the sides of the room. He wrapped his arm tightly around her waist, pulling her closer, sending the interested parties a nasty look. He felt her breath hitch but didn’t release his hold on her body. She was his wife. Anyone who wanted to get to her would have to go through him. Nikolai was surprised by the jealousy he felt. He was usually in control of his feelings, always choosing to be pragmatic rather than emotional. He knew they had to put on a convincing act. He still wasn’t supposed to be this possessive of a girl he’d only met a few days ago, right? All the Saints and their mothers, Zoya will murder me if she finds out about this.

Y/N had maneuvered them towards a group of Zemeni dignitaries, quickly engaging in easy conversation with one of the wives. Nikolai used the opportunity to present their made-up business proposal to a few interested parties, promising to send them more information as soon as they went back home to the Wandering Isle.

They navigated group after group of foreign and domestic dignitaries for about an hour. He had to admit Kaz had done a wonderful job when creating their false identities, but he was tired of the constant mindless chattering. How lucky, he thought, the dance floor seems very appealing right about now.

He leaned in close, letting his lips brush against Y/N’s ear, interrupting her conversation. “You are doing a fantastic job, my love.” He felt her shiver against him. “I’m sure we’ll have plenty of business partners once you’re done here. Now, however, I would very much like to dance with my beautiful wife.” She looked at him, surprise evident in her deep brown eyes. Nikolai smirked; he could get used to this. He offered her a hand before guiding her swiftly to the dance floor.

He felt men staring, once again, at ‘his wife’ as they graciously made their way to the middle of the floor. The small orchestra started playing a beautiful soft song, perfect for a romantic moment between lovers. Nikolai rested his right hand on the small of Y/N’s back, pulling her close, keeping her hand tightly in his own. He felt her free hand gently come to rest on his shoulder. His heart beating more quickly than he would’ve liked. Why am I so nervous? She was gazing up at him, a gentle smile gracing her lips. He swallowed hard. Nikolai had never felt more grateful for the dance lessons he’d taken as a child. He’d only done it to please his mother. He had to admit he was glad they were paying off now. To anyone watching them, they simply looked like newlyweds, madly in love, eager to share a dance.

They turned elegantly, in time with the slow music, their bodies completely in sync. Their breathing even, their steps well-balanced. The deep green skirts of her dress following every graceful movement they made. She followed his lead perfectly as if they’d been partners for years. She seemed to trust him completely, showing him how safe she felt in his arms. Time slowed for a moment. Nikolai found himself forgetting all about the job, about the plans they had to steal, even about his country. He wanted to stay in this moment, holding the talented Grisha against him, forever.

The sound of applause brought him out of his reverie. He took in their surroundings. Y/N looked as surprised as he felt. Her eyes wide, cheeks flushed. He had no idea how long they had been dancing, how many songs had been played. It dawned on him that they were the cause of the applause. People had stopped dancing and talking to watch the young couple, completely lost in each other, moving elegantly across the floor. He saw Jesper and Wylan, wide grins plastered on their faces, in the far corner of the room. They looked way too pleased. Saints, I hope they won’t tell Brekker about this.

He bowed, Y/N following his lead once again, before walking off the dance floor, towards the grand staircase. They had to stop drawing so much attention to themselves. He wished he could have a moment to talk to Y/N, alone, away from the prying eyes of the crowd. She was playing her role to perfection, all smiles, as couples complimented them on their dancing for the next few minutes.

The ornate wall-mounted clock chimed. Zoya, Wylan, and Jesper would create the distraction in 15 minutes. Wylan subtly nodded to him, indicating he had already placed the small incendiary charge in the dining room. He had developed this newest marvel by studying and modifying one of David Kostyk’s discoveries. It seemed the boy truly was a genius. Jesper would detonate the charge at 8 bells, the sound of his shot covered by the storm Zoya would summon. The fire would require all-hands-on-deck to be put out, leaving the office unguarded. If everything went according to Kaz’s plan, it would give him and Y/N about 30 minutes to pick the lock of Van Verent’s office, crack the safe and make their way back to the party with the blueprints safely tucked in the sheath hidden beneath Y/N’s dress.

They came to a halt in the shadow of the staircase, ready to spring to action at their cue. Nikolai made sure to pull Y/N close, slipping an arm around her waist.

“I didn’t know you were such a good dancer, my love.” He murmured. Better keep up the act. She makes it easy, though. I don’t even have to lie.

She laughed softly and turned in his arms, snaking her own arm around his neck, pressing her lips quickly against his cheek. “Thank you, darling. I am full of hidden talents, you know...” the raise of her eyebrow and her tone so suggestive Nikolai had to fight to keep a straight face. She’s only doing her job. She’s supposed to be my wife. It’s only normal that a young wife should flirt with her delightfully handsome husband. He was trying to convince himself but the playful look in her eyes told him otherwise. She spun around once more, keeping his hand on her waist, leaving him to observe the guests enjoying the party.

The clock chimed once more. 8 bells. Thunder boomed outside, rain battering the windows. A high-pitched scream sounded to his right, coming from the dining room. Other screams quickly followed. Guests ran past them, fleeing the room. Guards came rushing down the stairs, towards the fire. It was complete chaos. Nikolai found himself impressed, once again, by how brilliant the crows were. Maybe I could convince Kaz to help me plan my next military campaign? Or get Wylan to come work with David. I should at least sail with the Wraith and her crew.

Y/N’s fingers closed around his wrist. “That’s our cue.” She said with a sly grin on her lips.

---

Taglist: @power-of-words23

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov fic #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #zoya nazyalensky #my fic #ari's fic #have i known you 20 seconds or 20 years #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #grisha #nikolai series

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twentytarot · 4 years ago

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hi everyone! in this pick a card i hope to show you the person that you will (romantically) love the most in this life, and answer the question of whether you will be able to be happy with this person forever. this means this person isn’t necessarily your soulmate, they’re just the one person you dream of choosing over anyone else! pick the image that sets your thoughts off and scroll down to your respective pile for your reading~ 💞

PILE ONE: SUNSET

your person has gone through some things in life, and it’s made them smart, strong, tolerant and patient. what more can we ask for, honestly, right? for most of you this person will be a virgo, but for some they’ll be a leo. or maybe a combination of both. the only small issue i see here is that they don’t really pay much attention to their emotions, and by extension, others’ as well. not that they would offend people on purpose, just that they may prioritise a goal over someone’s feelings, for example.

lucky you, it looks like you will be with this person for a very long time! you might have just met, or you’ll be meeting them soon at school or work. at least one of you will still be pretty junior when you meet. the connection will be a little bit magical, a little bit telepathic, like you understand and complement each other down to each of your powers and your nature. like i said, this person doesn’t really think about romantic things, but they will start to do more and more of the things you like— basically, they want to and will treat you right if you give them a little push in the right direction. you will start a family that is very balanced and has a healthy amount of discipline. i’m feeling libra... maybe you’ll have a libra child with this person? or maybe it’ll be libra season when you meet, or become official, or marry... it’ll resonate differently for everyone.

lastly, i want to say that this connection is very much mental > physical. i feel like some of you may be asexual? regardless, it’s unlikely that you will be attracted to each others looks at first, you’ll love each other for the other’s personality.

PILE TWO: COUPLE

what an exciting soulmate this is! firstly, yes, this person is your soulmate above being the person you will love the most. huge libra vibes. some of you will see scorpio or gemini, though. your person is daring, they have no trouble leaving safety if they think the next big thing will be worth it, and they’ll adapt to the next environment to the point where they’re unrecognisable from their previous self. yet, they’re pretty intense, so i can’t call them a chameleon. your person also has a way with words— they could convince someone the sky is green if they tried hard enough. they could work in the legal fraternity.

now, for the question on whether you’ll be happy together forever, i want to say it’s a soft yes right now. this relationship might be a little volatile; perhaps you or they are a rather argumentative person by nature (more them than you, honestly) so “fights” break out often. i also get the feeling you’re not someone who actually goes against the flow very often— you like your stability in the long run, even if this intense person excites you. they may not appreciate the steadiness you offer, and you may find their drastic ways too dramatic for your comfort. lady luck is on your side, so i think you will pull through, and the two of you will also be very genuinely and purely in love with each other. that being said... at the point where you meet and get together, neither of you would have your eyes wide open enough to see what the other is here to teach you. and so the puzzle pieces will fit, but wrongly. and when the two of you get to fitting the last few pieces, you’ll realise your mistake. i don’t see you getting out of having a huge fight when this happens. will you have the patience and tenacity to crumble the picture back to pieces and start again? i hope you will, darling, because i really think it’ll be worth it.

PILE THREE: SNOW GLOBE

wow, we have a very good looking person on our hands! for some of you this person could just be a little younger than you, but for most, i’m feeling pretty immature vibes coming from this person. they want what they want, you know? they’re likely a sagittarius-capricorn cusp, but more likely capricorn over sagittarius. they’re determined, ambitious and cocky, but boy do they have the qualifications to back themselves up. when they approach you, they will already know they have you.

and yet, you will not stay. this person underestimates the choices you have. you are not powerless yourself, and they know, yet they choose to believe you won’t use it. but you will, because no matter how much someone has your heart, your heart is not your everything, and i know you are not the kind of person to drop your professional life over a 5-carat diamond ring. neither are you the kind of person to allow someone to stand you up more than once without so much as a text. and so you will reconsider your choices, and there will be someone else. a water sign. you will always remember the fire you had with the person before, but this other person will wash away the flames and leave behind a calming stream that you will have to admit, is better for you in the long run.

i know you really wanted this person, darling, but they were dimming your light without even knowing it. and they might have been the person for you, but you weren’t the person for them. or maybe there’s no one that will be able to make them understand. whatever the case is, this person is not yours to keep.

PILE FOUR: HANDS

gosh, i can totally see why you’re smitten for this person. they’re so romantic! it’s in the way they push their hair back, in the way they look at you when you’re recalling a story, and in the flowers they have sent to your workplace, and the sound of them singing love songs to you, and their lofty dreams of a beautiful family in the future... it all makes you swoon. and how apt, this person is a pisces or a taurus, both pretty romantic signs! did i mention they’re not too bad looking either? wow. it’s the full package.

...except they’re not the sharpest tool in the shed. they’re not dumb, just not very clear cut or focused. they’re a little easily distracted, and people will want to distract them, for sure. and honestly, buddy, i’m not sure if you want to have to deal with all of that jealousy and people trying to steal your s/o out from underneath you.

which is why i would say soft no to staying together for the long haul. it’s really not just you, like i said, this person’s a little scatter-brained and may not have the one track mind they would need to make anyone feel secure in a relationship with them. there will be quite a few major gaps between you in terms of where you stand in life, love and your careers, and it’s bound to create misplaced feelings of insecurity. it’s truly not that you can’t make it out to the other side, in fact, if you do, it’s a relationship that will really last forever. but it will be hard, and when you’re at that crossroad, you will just have to go with your gut. you’ll know which path you’re meant to take, and even if it’s the one where the two of you don’t work out, you’ll look upon your days with this person fondly.

#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card reading #free tarot reading #tarot reading

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romchomp · 3 years ago

Text

nana rewatch notes- episode 15

-“back then, i wasn’t really able to love someone properly. yet I couldn’t help but want to be loved” lesbian

but yeah this aligns with hachi’s actions/ideals on relationships+love and also explains her tolerance with shitty men- if she could convince herself that they loved her, it was okay.

-okay so the show is self aware about junko’s lecture lol. junko is also unforgiving towards shoji (which i would hope since he’s the one that’s actually in the wrong). I think her telling shoji that hachi hates him was her way of keeping him away from hachi. junko probably thought there was a chance of hachi taking him back- however for us, the viewer, that seems unlikely.

-actually, i think a lot of what junko and kyosuke are saying right now is out of fear that shoji might try and take hachi back. so they’re telling him to not bother apologizing to hachi and etc. the bar is so low…but i think the fact that they’re trying to avoid the possibility of hachi getting back with shoji is worth appreciating. there is no going back. he hurt hachi once and they don’t want to see it happen again.

- the fact that junko and kyosuke recognize romance/being in a relationship as hachi’s ENTIRE identity…..yikes. and the way this scene is played off as a joke DO NOT get me started!!! i think it’s played as a joke intentionally- hachi’s flaws and struggles are constantly minimized by the characters and even the story’s universe.

-hachi...why do you continue to emphasize how much EASIER you find your relationship with nana to be in comparison to your past romantic ones? and why do you keep saying it feels like true love? would you say it feels more...natural?

-like obviously this is meant to be the buildup of hachi’s first intimate friendship with someone, but there’s this undeniable relatability to her experience with female friendships that aligns with soooo many sapphic friendships paired w/ infatuation. this goes for nana osaki as well.

-now we see a big shift in hachi’s view of love. she calls it tiresome, hurtful, and that it never lasts. it’s no longer easy for her to put up with shitty treatment. no more asuda’s or long distance relationships with shojis. and this lasts for a relatively decent amount of time- and i don’t think it’s a coincidence that this lines up with hachi’s developing friendship with nana.

-“what i want is not a boyfriend, i want a knight to protect me”

like i said earlier, takumi ends up being the guy willing to be this knight- which is quickly revealed to be less than ideal. the subversion is that no one is going to “save” hachi. not even nana who definitely tries at the end.

it’s also a relatable line, personally. hachi wants someone to absolve her of her flaws and insecurities- she wants something to wash them away. i think it has a lot more to do with that rather than wanting a man to take care of her materialistically.

-hachi watching nana perform made her feel as if she was being left behind…hmmm. wait no hachi is saying that most of nana’s songs evoked a feeling of being left behind.

“that’s exactly how i’m feeling”

“don’t leave me behind, nana”

-considering this is after realizing nana has fans like misato- i think this is yet another similarity between nana and hachi. hachi wants to be prioritized by nana. she wants feel special to nana.

-also, without knowing anything about ren or nana’s past- hachi was able to read nana’s feelings and resonate with them. the two of them understand each other a lot more than they think.

-remember when hachi said her relationship with nana was easier because there was no jealousy involved? lmaoooo

-oh my god she’s so jealous

- the thought of women keeping hachi up at night once again.

-“but they’re both women” HACHI I STG

-this girl is fr a headache

-obv platonic jealously is a thing and i DO think that is what hachi is experiencing right now. but that doesn’t make this any less fun to watch lol.

-this is also a good sign of hachi growing/building INTIMATE relationships with people outside of dating. past hachi wouldn’t have experienced this. this is also why I think hachi is so weirded out by her own feelings here (which also makes it way more gay lol)

-i could say something about the shoji and nana parallel and make this gay but honestly the platonic sapphic energy radiating from this episode is already enough.

-ah so hachi made the connection on her own. okay, i take it back. this is gay.

-after seeing sachiko at the grocery store hachi comes home to see nana happy w/ misato + gets angry...i think for the fist time in the series. It’s honestly a bit jarring. especially looking at her expression. this is a scene that has been ingrained into my memory since the first time i watched it, it always stuck with me. hachi’s outburst is just so satisfying.

“everyone is taking away my places of comfort.” yup i’m adding this to the ‘hachi’s childhood wasn’t actually that good’ theory. she definitely went through some neglect.

-instead of nana getting angry, we see her almost completely deflate. it’s a side of nana that we’ve only seen a glimpse of so far. we also know now that nana is surprisingly (but not that surprising) bad at handling confrontation.

-i originally wrote in my notes that nana was empathizing with hachi here but looking back i’m not sure if i agree with that now. i think whatever nana felt here was internal. regardless, this is a bit of a role reversal.

previous episode

next episode

#nana #ai yazawa #episode 15 #this episode is MEATY #no like so much happened in this episode #i wrote a lot lol #sorry this took so long

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uwua3 · 4 years ago

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hello! it's me again!! um.. can i request a day at an amusement park with taichi please? i feel like he doesn't get enough love.

thank you so much for requesting, clover~ ♡ please enjoy this super fluffy piece, just for you~ ´͈ ᵕ `͈ ♡°◌̊ i put lots n lots of #LOVE in it! <3 i love you with all my heart!!!

summary: even cupid deserves love, too!

warnings: bad relationship (slight mention), envy/jealousy, loneliness, misunderstandings

author’s note: happy valentine’s eve eve, my friends! i’m sooo #Happy !! i love valentine’s so much ♡(*´･ω･)(･ω･`*)♡ if you are Free on February 14, i am here waiting with flowers <3 (◞ꈍ∇ꈍ)◞⋆**💐 (please celebrate v-day with me TT) ~ in celebration of my favorite holiday, please smile at this fluffy headcanon of taichi as the lovely, adorable cupid! 🏹💗 i love you all!

word count: 3,567

music: heart attack – loona (chuu)

stupid cupid.

🍁🛹 nanao taichi

every year, taichi spent valentine’s day alone

february 14th was another day of being absolutely single. but, for him, there was nothing better than seeing love in the air

especially as the “cupid” working all february long!

as cupid, taichi looked forward to becoming the epitome of pink & red hearts every year. it was a job no one else except him could do; who else to predict the probability of relationships than the matchmaker himself?

taichi loved love! he always could tell when people had crushes on others growing up like it was second nature. he couldn’t even count on both hands how many successful relationships he’s gotten together

love came easy to taichi. it was everything valentine’s was: floating heart balloons, bouquets of red roses, sights only romance movies would show, chocolates that came in heart-shaped boxes, poems from the heart, and so much more~!

the moment taichi set his eyes on someone, it was like he was the one who loaded the arrow and fired it. he knew who liked who, it was what he did best. his intuition was second to none, he was the amusement park’s cupid

for a month, all taichi had to do was sit at a booth and predict a person’s love life leading up to valentine’s day. it was easy money considering his success rate was 99%!

(we don’t talk about the time taichi accidentally caused a break-up... but, that’s beside the point!) (at least they’re happy now...)

yet, there was one thing wrong: taichi was loveless

despite being made of love, breathing love, living out of love, taichi had never celebrated valentine’s. it seemed like all the arrows missed him completely

taichi had never experienced any of the things that made love love, but that was okay! sure, it was a little lonely seeing happy couples all month but... it was worth it to see the smile on people’s faces! love wasn’t just romantic, platonic love was super important!

still... taichi forced himself to smile to apply the heart-shaped blush to his cheeks. there was a part of him, a hole in his heart, that longed to know what valentine’s felt like

FEBRUARY 1 — taichi fluttered the pair of angel wings excitedly, happy to be back in his valentine’s attire. he couldn’t help but jump up and down, squealing about how good it was to be “back in business”

even without his usual pink & red contacts, taichi’s eyes would’ve had heart-shaped pupils with how much love he had for this holiday season! as he greeted his coworkers for the first time in a year, taichi stood out amongst the crowd of workers listening to their orders for the day

as usual, taichi would be the cupid at a small, glittery booth that was louder than life itself. sure, it was a very discreet and low-budget set up, but it always was a fan favorite to catch this valentine’s season

taichi couldn’t help but run off to his station the moment he was dismissed, his wings flapping behind him and sling of heart arrows jostling. he almost slid past his stool but skidded, luckily landing in the right place with a bright grin on his face

when the afternoon officially began with people beginning to come in to the amusement park, taichi tapped his feet with exhiliration. showtime!

“welcome~! find out your love fortune this valentine’s season!” taichi happily advertised, putting his heart and soul into gathering the attention of the masses. slowly but surely, people began flocking to his side, unable to resist the teen’s infectious love and happiness to be here

it was like taichi raised the bow & arrow and fired into the squad. it captured the hearts of a hundred as people sat down across from him, seeking his love & relationship advice

there was a multitude of ways taichi could make someone’s day. whether it was reading love oracle cards or mixing up candy hearts, taichi loved putting on a show for people to enjoy

during a gap between couple sessions, taichi leaned his cheek against his hand and quietly whined to himself. he had recently just met such an adorable and lovey-dovey pair, even he felt sick with how much sweetness there was!

taichi wished he had that... before looking up. suddenly, his heart skipped a beat

it was like the gods & goddesses of love had heard his prayers because today was the first day he saw you

someone passed by the forming line. you hadn’t even noticed him, but taichi had certainly noticed you. when the moment passed and you disappeared, taichi had to focus before getting back into his cupid persona, smiling charmingly like nothing had happened

but, something did happen. taichi had just experienced love at first sight!

taichi hadn’t even had time to load his arrow before you hit him with his

it’s not like he was going to see you again, though... taichi’s loveless life wasn’t a romance film. nor a sappy piece of literature, unfortunately

though, for once, cupid wished he had someone to share this special month with like everyone else

FEBRUARY 3 — taichi was in charge of the valentine’s decorations comimg up. this was perhaps, the best news he had received in his entire life

there was something about folding a million origami hearts that made taichi’s own heart grow a thousand times larger. it was calming during his breaks to fold and fold again, with no thought process behind a skill that came naturally

as taichi cut the colorful paper into the perfect size with ease, he was humming the latest pop song on the radio before he heard something that made his heart break

arguing?! in the loveliest season of the year?!

taichi glanced around and noticed a distinct couple. the pair was fighting rather publicly despite the other person trying to keep their voice down and calm their partner down. before taichi could turn away and mind his own business, they sighed and turned in his direction

taichi felt his breath hitch in his throat as his hands froze, the paper suddenly bent in his tight grip. it was you, the person from two days ago!

so much for it being an one-time thing... taichi could already feel the butterflies in his stomach just at the thought of this being fate. twice in a row? did this mean something?

as taichi tried to search through his brain for what the chick flicks and rom-coms liked to say, you had already left with the person you were arguing with. as they walked ahead of you, you hung your head low with the shame and embarrassment of public humiliation

for some reason, taichi hated seeing you like that despite not knowing anything about you. he was irrationally frustrated as well; how could anyone just make you sad like that and not apologize?

taichi figured he could do one last love reading for the day

when you passed by his booth, you didn’t notice how taichi had left a surprise in your jacket pocket

you exhaled softly when you arrived home, leaning on the door and closing your eyes. when you put your hands in your pockets, you paused as you felt something between your fingers

pulling it out, you noticed a small red origami heart. inside, was a message in a messy, hurried scrawl

“leave them, you deserve better. be with someone who makes you smile! — cupid ♡”

despite everything, you smiled

FEBRUARY 5 — taichi barely had time before there was a person at his booth: you

before taichi could even process that you were real, you spoke: “i broke up with them.”

taichi blinked. this was the first thing he’d learn about you, and it wasn’t even your name! this type of news usually wouldn’t make taichi feel like this, but he was honestly over the moon. he didn’t need to know anything else to know your previous partner had little to no consideration for your feelings

he’d definitely be a better boyfr—wait, what?!

“oh.” taichi said lamely, but his heart jumped when you laughed. it was a nice sound, one that made him think of giant teddy bears and sugary sweet candy. taichi wondered how hard the arrow hit, it must’ve gotten bullseye

“what’s your name?” you took the words right out of his mouth, and taichi blushed under the attention. despite being the main focus of the valentine’s event every year, it was different coming from you. it was like... you were really seeing him

“cupid, at your service!” taichi quickly jumped into character, bowing with a flourish. if he was in an anime, he’d be sparkling with rose effects right now, taichi thought proudly

but, you didn’t clap or amuse him like his other customers. instead, you observed him with a questioning look. it was like you were picturing him without the valentine’s attire, without the wings, bow & arrow, and glitter across his face

“i meant your real name.”

taichi blanked. you were a surprise; he had never been this speechless in his entire life... it was honestly kinda embarrassing for him, taichi was flustered for once

“but, why do you want to know?”

“because you make me smile.”

when taichi told you, you said it aloud and he finally understood what it meant to have a crush

all it took was one conversation and taichi was head over heels for you

FEBRUARY 7 — taichi had never been a target of love before. no one had ever liked him, nor had he ever developed a serious crush on someone before. he was far too busy fixing everyone’s disaster of a love life, never mind his own!

yet, it was like the world aligned so you two could meet. taichi swore the stars aligned, fate was working its magic so you both would meet at this giant amusement park during the most romantic month of the year

even though it had only been a week or so since taichi first met you, it felt like you two knew each other for your whole lives. after getting over the fact you made his heart beat way too fast, taichi quickly warmed up to you and vise versa

while you only came to actually thank cupid for helping you get out of a bad relationship, you realized you very much liked the person behind the angel wings. taichi was everything you expected and more, with his personality that reminded you valentine’s maybe wasn’t so bad

speaking of, taichi was absolutely in hysterics when he found out your stance on valentine’s

“what?! what do you mean you don’t....” taichi took in a deep breath, as if it pained him to continue. “you don’t like valentine’s day?!”

you knew it was ironic to befriend literal cupid when you didn’t have a taste for romance to begin with, but you tried to hide your entertained expression with a lighthearted eye roll

“i’ve never celebrated it. it seems like a capitalistic excuse to buy a bunch of overpriced stuff, to be honest.”

you physically winced when you heard the crack of taichi’s poor, poor heart. his puppy eyes widened at your revelation and leaned forward, uncharacteristically serious for his cupid persona. luckily, he was taking a fifteen-minute break so the curtains were drawn to hide his immense sadness

“b-but!” taichi spluttered, his brain running a million arguments at once, which was way too fast for his mouth. “it’s valentine’s day! it’s sooo romantic! love is everywhere! how can you not love love?”

you thought about it some more before shrugging, crossing your legs and trying to not break taichi’s heart even more. the poor cupid, it looked like he was going to cry like a baby

“why do you love love then?”

only you could render taichi silent. he had never been truly asked that question before, nor had he reflected on why he was the first person to become cupid every year

when taichi struggled to answer, you waited before he started speaking. it lacked the usual wonder and excitement he always had, it seemed like it was almost... personal

“i love love because... love is who i am. i didn’t...” taichi stopped, as if considering sharing with you before continuing, not giving you the second to tell him he didn’t have to. he wanted to, anyways

“i didn’t have love to call my own, at least, not the way i wanted it. so, i made my own love. i love people, i love the world, i love everything. everything deserves love! just because i love a lot, doesn’t make it any less special.”

you thought taichi would’ve said the expensive bouquets florists made of the prettiest roses. or the largest stuffed animals holding stitched plush hearts in their paws. or sunsets with classical music playing in the background like a nicholas sparks film. not... not that

“okay you sap, maybe valentine’s day isn’t that bad if you like it, then.”

taichi’s wings fluttered and he sat up, a smile upon his face

“i promise, valentine’s day is the best!”

now, that i’ve met you, taichi thought

FEBRUARY 9 — taichi came to work only to find a bouquet of flowers upon his booth. they were the grandest displays of affection yet, with the best-smelling hundred petal roses he had ever imagined

you, on the other hand, weren’t so impressed

“cupid, have you stolen the heart of another?” you said in the tone of a dramatic shakespearian actor, pretending to swoon when taichi hid his face in the flowers

“i... usually get flowers like these when i work, it’s nothing, really.” taichi mumbled, holding the flowers to his chest as a warm feeling spread across his body. he usually never got flowers, this was the first time someone had found his charms alluring enough to gift him such a pricey present

one look and you already knew he was lying. your heart fell a little when you noticed how happy taichi was, but you pretended to not care as you winked at him

“oh~ taichi has a lover now, huh?” he giggled in response, adamantly denying it despite holding the bouquet like it was his most prized possession. you glared a little harder at the red roses more than you’d like to admit

why were you feeling so... jealous? it’s not like you wanted the flowers or anything so—oh

when taichi turned that lovesick gaze towards you, you suddenly felt like you were on a sugar rush

when taichi performed his role better than ever with his newfound love for all things traditionally romantic, you watched off to the side

you reached up to your chest to feel the arrow, but to no avail

have you fallen for cupid?

FEBRUARY 11 — taichi shuffled the cards professionally, but his behavior was anything but that. the last time you had sat on the other side of the booth was days ago, but here you were, waiting for your love reading

when taichi met you, you weren’t a person who heavily believed in love. romance wasn’t something that made you happy nor did valentine’s day make you count down to february 14th like him. yet, you suddenly paid for a reading

you stared expectantly at him, your face once again unreadable and hard to distinguish. even if taichi was friends with you, he never mastered the art of reading you like a romance book. it was one of his most prominent talents, too, so it was strange why he couldn’t

you only showed him what you wanted him to see, unfortunately. regardless, taichi did the whole shebang, theatrics and all even if you had seen it a thousand times by now

“welcome to cupid’s love booth! let me read your love life~” taichi laid out the pink cards in a pretty, attention-grabbing manner before asking you to pick three. you did so relatively quickly, which taichi admired you for (he had once sat waiting for someone to pick, but they had taken nearly ten minutes. there was only so much cupid could do)

when taichi flipped them over, it was surprising, to say the least. of course, you didn’t understand a thing as you waited for him to explain. however, taichi fell quiet, reading the cards with furrowed eyebrows

“awww, come on, cupid, give it to me straight. am i destined to be single forever?” you joked but a part of you worried about taichi’s reaction. even though he wore his heart on his sleeve and always expressed his feelings, he had never reacted this negatively to a reading before

taichi laughed at your joke, but it felt like a customer service one. it seemed strained and before you could ask if he was okay, taichi’s brilliant wink put him back as the amusement park’s favorite cupid

“is there someone you’re not telling me about~? it seems like you have a friend you like, am i right?” taichi had hit bullseye; how did he know just from those cards? you didn’t answer, just offering an innocent shrug as if you didn’t care. you very much did, though

“so i am! i’m seeing that you’ve recently liked them, ahhh, young love~” taichi sighed, as if in love with the concept already. “looks like love’s in the air, my dear, so don’t worry about a thing! they like you back, without a doubt.”

you looked up at this, eyes wide before returning to your nonchalant state. taichi wondered what that could’ve meant even as he tried to maintain his shaking hands

“they do? how do you know?”

taichi held a finger to his lips, as if it was a secret only cupid could know

“shhh, i just know. trust me, they’d be a fool to not like you back.”

you could tell it wasn’t cupid just talking, and you knew what you had to do

“i’ll ask them to be my valentine tomorrow, then.”

taichi’s heart broke but... as long as you were happy, how could he say no?

FEBRUARY 13 — taichi wished he had a valentine. if only you liked him, maybe he would’ve asked you, his first crush, to be his this month (and even longer). but, you were somewhere else, asking someone else to be your valentine

taichi frowned, finding it hard to maintain his happy excitement forever as the line began becoming longer and longer. taichi huffed, looking around as if you’d suddenly appear. but, taichi’s life wasn’t a movie...

“hey cupid, why so sad?”

taichi turned around to see the biggest plushie he had seen in his entire life. it covered your entire frame, with the dog ears flopping over its giant black eyes cutely. in its arms was a red heart with the cursive words “i like you!” in white stitching

before taichi could even react, you peeked over the plush’s shoulder with a slightly embarrassed look

“can you take it already? i’ve been getting weird looks from everyone i’ve walked by.”

taichi took the plush and placed it on the seat next to him, about to speak before you pulled out an even bigger bouquet from behind your back

they weren’t just red roses. they were a rainbow of them, ranging from pink, white, yellow, blue, red, and even black! taichi could barely even count how many there were before you passed it to him, doing your best to not pass out and die from how sappy this all was

“see, these are even better than the bouquet you got last time. i clearly am the better, uh, person for you, you know?” taichi didn’t have the time to respond before you turned around again and presented a display of chocolates, all of them heart-shaped and tied in ribbon

“you like chocolate, right? yeah, of course you do, i also got—” before you could keep rambling, taichi gently held your hand. your heartrate skyrocketed and you froze, unsure of what to do when taichi was looking at you with his heart eyes

“you got all of this... for me?” taichi was genuinely amazed and flattered, a light dust of red across his cheeks at how romantic all of this was. you blushed as well, looking away bashfully

“i mean, yeah. i don’t see anyone else around.”

“but... you don’t like valentine’s day?”

you sighed, knowing the next words out of your mouth are word he’s going to never let you forget

“but, i like you.”

“but... i thought you liked someone else?”

“stupid cupid, i like you. only you.”

taichi stood up, not as cupid, but as himself. when he softly turned your head towards him, he smiled gently, squeezing your hands with all the appreciation in the world

“i like you, too. with or without the romance, i would’ve said yes to being your valentine no matter what you did.”

you breathed a sigh of relief. sure, you didn’t love love like taichi, but... he deserved it

“i have an idea.” you proposed, leaning in closer as taichi awaited your response with bated breath

“you should open a kissing booth.”

“you’d be my only customer.”

“then give me my kiss already!”

FEBRUARY 14 (valentine’s day) — every year, taichi spent valentine’s alone. until, he met you

“stupid cupid, i like you.”

you and taichi were shot by cupid’s arrow this valentine’s day

#nanao taichi #taichi nanao #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3!#mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #taichi x reader #a3! taichi #a3 taichi

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orsuliya · 4 years ago

Note

Many are saying, that there is no passion betweenAwu and XQ. That from the beginning they both behave like old couple that have been together for 50 years. Calm, respect and domestic bliss. No craziness, no passionate words and deeds, no nothing. And I feel so sad that their crazy passionate all consuming love is not obvious to everybody. I've been married for 12 years now and my hubby still treats me like I'm made of glass. There is no craziness, but the calm I feel in mt heart... It is invaluable. For me their love is the perfect one. And I honestly haven't seen anything so perfect on the screen before.

Many need to check their glasses prescriptions, because that passion is right there and small it ain’t, that’s for sure. I thumb my nose, oh ye doubting Thomases, at this alleged lack of passionate words or deeds. Don’t know about you, good people, but for me the Re-do Wedding itself maxes out the scale; as far as grand gestures go that one is just perfect: very grand indeed, utterly shameless, more than a little schmoopy and, at the end of the day, surprisingly useful. Do I even need to comment on all those timely rescues? For all that Awu is not exactly a damsel in distress, she sure has been a subject of a lot of those. I hear that dramatic rescues are supposed to rate among the most romantic things a male lead can do, was my info faulty...? And it’s not like that’s one-sided since Awu runs into danger without hesitation, declaring that should anything happen to her husband or father, Song Huaien will need to carry her own cold, stiff body back home. As far as passionate romantic declarations go...!

Also, let be me disgustingly prosaic for a moment: for all that nobody gets naked onscreen (well, other that Mi’er), it is rather obvious that Awu and Xiao Qi get it on. A lot. In probably rather adventurous ways. I mean, they see absolutely no problem with promising each other various... things. While in public. In the middle of the Imperial Palace. Where anybody can hear them - and they probably do! - but is there even a hint of genuine, non-playful bashfulness to be found in their demeanor? The answer is a big, fat NO.

At the end of the day, their relationship - as is yours, you Unbelievably Lucky Nonnie - is the eternal fire of the hearth and the steady heartbeat of the home. A love like that doesn’t throw us at the mercy of waves and storms, but anchors us to home, wherever that home might be. For all the things simple and domestic to withstand the withering effects of time and everyday adversities, there must be a great burning love hidden in that hearth; hidden does not mean non-existent, but rather treasured and carefully guarded.

Okay, that is getting a tad too sentimental even for me, back to more prosaic considerations! The reason why this particular drama doesn’t seem to resonate with a good portion of younger audiences is rather simple. Bloody Mouse from Hell. Okay, not only Disney, western pop-culture as a whole. See, we’ve been taught that all conflicts and sweeping declarations of passion come before the marriage or even before the first grand kiss. After that there’s only the Happily Ever After, a concept as mind-boggling as it is suspicious. Yes, I know that Disney has been stepping away from their straighforward romance formula recently, but I am a true millenial, I have a constitutonal right to point some very pointy fingers at dear old Walt. All the work gets done before the final declaration of feelings and it’s smooth sailing from then on. Any male who makes an effort is guaranteed to be rewarded with a female; the only healthy exception being Gaston, who, when you think about it, is the scariest villain of them all (and there is good reason for that). Moms die in mysterious ways and females supporting females is a thing that happens from time to time... but is by no means guaranteed. Oh, and if you are not a walking talking perfection with one, maximum two funny quirks, there’s no place for you among the heroines. Those are the lessons I learned in my childhood. Didn’t stick, let me tell you. Wait a bloody moment, Zitan totally watched himself some Disney!

Now, let’s look at what happens in a considerable portion of mainstream adult programming. What happens is that if a couple gets together in the first season finale (which is early all the same), there is little chance of them being left to simply... be, unless they get relegated to background characters. Happily Ever Afters are booooring. Fine, I say, maybe they are. You need CONFLICT. And that’s fair! But there is no reason why you can’t spice things up using external factors; have this couple form a united front against a common danger and there’s your conflict! Yeah, no. Internal conflict and especially romantic one is much easier and cheaper. I am not saying it’s all bad - couples naturally go through such obstacles - but there comes a point where you have to ask this question: why the hell are they still together when they would never be able to trust each other again? Forgiveness only stretches so far and does not mean a totally blank slate. This is not, by any means, an invitation to start fridging female characters! I see what you’re doing, you bastards!

Thankfully things are changing. Not always and not always in the right direction. Disney in particular is doing something... weird with its main canon or was Mulan a one-off hiccup of terrifying proportions? Female-empowering that wreck was certainly not. Unless they meant Special Females, who are not like Other Females... okay, not the point right now.

The point is that Awu and Xiao Qi are married by episode 8 and in love by episode 14. Which is right where the end of the first season would be. And then... nothing. They are in love and form a rock-solid front against external enemies. The only real change in their relationship is that they grow stronger, first individually and then together.

It gets worse! We, the viewers, get a metric tonne of false leads of the kind, which we have been taught will inevitably lead to at least four episodes of conflict. So where are our four episodes of dealing with Xiao Qi’s household and uppity maids? Do as Wangfei says, that’s what we get. Where’s Xiao Qi’s burning jealousy over Zitan? I would prefer you not to go, but do as you wish, that’s the extent of it. By all known rules, he should start looking at Awu with suspicion once he guesses that Song Huaien is infatuated with her or at least take Huaien to task. There’s... absolutely nothing? This whole affair with Screecher? What do you mean you can simply ask your husband what happened and then trust his answer?! That’s not how it works! Get thee away to Turnip’s house for a couple of episodes at the least! And don’t even start me on the great performance of the Yuzhang Acting Company! There is a reason why people were loathe to recognize it as a performance and nothing but!

The Rebel Princess keeps purposefully missing those obvious cues for conflict and thus the viewer, used to much, much higher emotional amplitudes, simply nods off on this relationship. But that’s not on the drama, that’s on our erstwhile trainers.

#ask and answer #the rebel princess #okay sorry for the rant #and the preaching #but I simply had to #and don't ever start me on Mulan live-action Disney thingy UGH

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fromzerotoeuphoria · 4 years ago

Text

The Way Haru Gets Sentimental When He’s with Rin

This is gonna be a long one, so I put the rest under the cut. There's just so much to say about RinHaru and how they get all cute and sweet when they're together ^_^ Hope you guys enjoy this as much as I did writing it!

✧ ✧ ✧

So I noticed in the Drama CDs and some of the character interviews that Haru readily gets sentimental when he’s with Rin; you’d think that, sensitive crybaby that he is, it’d be Rin who would initiate the sentimentality, but surprisingly, oftentimes it’s Haru getting all up in his feels while Rin is the chill one.

And coming from a non-expressively sentimental person as Haru, I die and come back to life every time these moments happen because they’re just way. too. PRECIOUS 💜 I don’t know what it is about Rin, but for whatever reason Haru is just more open with his sentimental emotions with him—it’s like Rin brings out the “romantic” in Haru ^_^

For example, from the BD Extra Rin and Haruka Special Talk:

Rin: Yeah, those guys, in the time I hadn’t seen them they’ve become much more senpai like.

Haruka: I don’t really know how to say it but, I feel like our feelings and bonds will be passed down forever……

Rin: Haha, you’ve become sentimental huh?

Haha, Rin even calls Haru out on his sentimentality! Haru randomly texts Rin to tell him he left his water bottle at Haru’s place when they were hanging out with each other. As Haru can’t type to save his life, he ends up calling Rin and they start chatting about the All Japan Selection and the after party. Not exactly a sentimental conversation, and yet still Haru openly gets all tender and feelsy. We don’t often witness Haru get all like this, so seeing him do so in a random convo with Rin is so adorable and really highlights how their relationship is something special (and not just a rivalry like some people try to make it out to be).

We get another display of it in the RinHaru Character Song Duet Series Drama, Track 3:

Haruka: The futon’s over there. Lay it out yourself.

Rin: …Are you even listening to me?

Haruka: Or do you want to sleep together in the bed again like old times?

“Or do you want to sleep together in the bed again like old times?” FOLKS THE WAY I TOTALLY LOST IT WHEN I FIRST HEARD THIS DRAMA OMGGG. Haru is canonly offering Rin to share the bed with him. Like they used to before. And Haru isn’t being facetious about it, listen to the way Haruka says this line and you’ll hear how he was 100% sincere in his offer. And Haru strikes me to be the type that isn’t all that touchy-feely, so for him to offer someone to share a bed with him is just…not a normal Haru thing to do. But he offers so to Rin and like PEOPLE. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS ACTUALLY CANON AHAHAHAHA I’M THRIVING XD.

And then on top of “wanna sleep together?” (as if that wasn’t enough death for us), we have a very caring Haru pulling a Mamakoto and asking Rin a bunch of questions to make sure he’s good:

Rin: Oh. Thanks for pulling out the futon.

Haruka: You didn’t bring your pillow?

Rin: As if I would.

Haruka: Will you be able to get to sleep?

Rin: Don’t make fun of me.

Haruka: Are you leaving early tomorrow morning?

Rin: I’ll be waking up at 6 to go for a jog before I go. If I miss even a day’s training, it affects my performance.

Haruka: Then I’ll run with you.

[more sentimental-when-with-Rin Haru under the cut ⬇️ #bless]

Haru is firing off all these questions to Rin, asking him if he’s gonna be able to sleep without his pillow, wanting to know when he’s gonna leave in the morning, telling Rin that he’s gonna run with him in the morning so he can spend as much time with Rin as he can before Rin even has a chance to offer Haru to run with him. We get a glimpse of clingy!Haru, and the way we see this side of him come out around Rin (is too adorable) says so much. Haru is so involved—and you have to listen to the audio to really experience the way Haru is asking these questions, for you can hear just how concerned about and interested in Rin he is.

[Haru quietly enters his bedroom. RIN is sleeping]

Haruka: [smiles] Good night, Rin.

This part killed and then resurrected me, omg HOW AM I EVEN ALIVE?? Haru not only takes a moment to smile while watching Rin sleep (you literally hear the pause and Haru’s little laugh in the audio), the way he whispers “Goodnight, Rin” is so soft and caring; Haru sounds so content and happy to have Rin back in his life, just like old times, and it’s too much for my soft RinHaru heart to handle 😩.

The impression I got from this entire drama cd track is that Haru is just so happy to have Rin back in his life, but not only just back in his life, but back as a friend. After all these years and heartache, they’ve reconciled, reunited, and they’re doing things like they used to back in elementary school. We know that Rin’s friendship in elementary school meant a whole lot to Haru (just watch Starting Days, read High Speed 2 and rewatch all of Season 1 if you want to doubt that), and now the two of them can resume that precious friendship. Haru’s whole demeanor and actions read as excitement, contentment, and a touch of anxiousness that he and Rin and doing things together again like they used to—Rin spending the night at his place being one of those things.

I’m sure Haru felt a little anxious about it all, similarly to how someone finally gets that thing they’ve been yearning for and wants to make sure it’s taken care of. We see it in his “clinginess”, in the way he offers Rin his favorite t-shirt, in the way offers Rin to share the bed with him; we see it in the way Haru fires off questions wanting to know if Rin’s gonna sleep well and when he’s leaving in the morning. It’s the way someone who lost someone they cherish but gets them back in their life would act—it’s attentiveness and anxiousness, eagerness and contentment and wanting to spend as much time with the person as they can.

There was also a brief but still very cute Sentimental Haru moment in the Free! Illustration Works CD Drama, Track 8: A Promise of Rainbows

MAKOTO: The four of us swimming together like this reminds me of our days in the swimming club. Like how Rin tried to make rainbows while we were playing in the pool.

NAGISA: That sure brings me back.

MAKOTO: Rin back then was a lot more open about his emotions.

RIN: Lay off it. […]

[(Makoto and Nagisa) jump into the pool, leaving Rin and Haru standing on the side]

HARUKA: Rin.

RIN: Hm? What?

HARUKA: …Make rainbows again, okay? [jumps in]

RIN: Make them?

NAGISA: Rin-chan, come on in!

RIN: …Heh. Okay. I’ll make rainbows for you.

Again, you really have to listen to the audio track in order to fully appreciate the softly tender way Haru tells Rin to make rainbows again. And the fact that Haru waits until it’s just the two of them to say this to Rin makes it extra intimate and special.

Also in the Free! DF Drama Cd, we see Haru’s sentimental side crash right into the party, no invitation needed (Track 10 - Haruka and Rin’s Drive):

Rin: There’s… still another 3 hours until we reach the training camp. You can sleep if you want, Haru.

Haruka: You’re such a rough driver that I’m too worried to fall asleep.

Rin: Heh, speak for yourself.

Haruka: Besides…

Rin: Huh?

Haruka: This is the only time we can talk properly.

You guys already know how I lost my mind over this drama cd track (if you like to witness my meltdown, you can do so here) for this entire drama is everything and more. Haru would rather spend the long drive to “talk properly” with Rin instead of sleeping, since it’s one of the only chances they’ll get. It’s so sweet and shows that Haru does value the time he gets to spend with Rin, whether it’s swimming-related or not.

Haruka: What is it like living in Sydney?

Rin: It’s pretty good. I train with my friends every day, then we go eat after training.

Haruka: So you made new friends there.

Rin: Yeah. There’s David, Chris, Johann, my coach Mikhail, and many more.

Haruka: Were you able to see a sight you’ve never seen before with these friends?

Rin: Eh? I wonder… I probably did see it, but…nothing compares to the sight I saw when swam with you and the others, I don’t think. What about you, Haru?

Haruka: Same here.

So the guys are just chatting about their life in Tokyo and Australia when suddenly, Haru brings up the “sight you’ve never seen before” motif. Both Rin and Haru cherish that “sight” they saw together, the one that Rin promised to show Haru during their first ever relay as a team. For Rin, “Nothing compares” to it and Haru agrees. (Also, can we please appreciate how Haru wants to know if Rin’s new friends can show him that “sight?” Hahaha Haru, luv, your jealousy is showing).

Rin: Let’s nap for an hour?

Haruka: Okay.

Rin: Do you know how to put down your seat?

Haruka: Right here?

Rin: Yeah.

(silence)

Haruka: This reminds me, around this time last year, we slept together like this, Rin.

Rin: Huh? …oh you mean the hotel in Sydney?

Haruka: My whole world changed since that day.

AHAHAHAHA omg—Rin is all, “Great let’s sleep” and after a few moments of silence, Haru’s suddenly goes “REMEMBER WHEN WE SLEPT LIKE THIS TOGETHER IN THE BED RIN??? IT WAS LAST YEAR AND RIGHT NOW TOTALLY REMINDS ME OF HOW WE SLEPT TOGETHER LIKE THIS IN THE HOTEL ROOM” KSSFKSDKDKK I’m CACKLING, omg Haru’s too much 😂 Rin’s tryign to sleep and out of the blue Haru starts reminiscing on RinHaruralia and how they slept together and he wants Rin to reminisce too 😂 Haru’s so sentimental around Rin it’s so friggin precious. And Rin’s just all “YAWN oh yeah…the hotel YAWNS” and I imagine Haru with his hands behind his head, reclining in his seat and smiling up at the stars through the windshield as he says “Yeah and my entire world’s been changed ever since that day we slept together like this Rin.” People this drama cd is too much omg.

Haruka: I want to… swim relay again.

Rin: Let’s swim together. But on the world stage this time! I don’t know what the team will be like, though.

Haruka: Yeah. One day, definitely.

Haruka: Rin?

Haruka: He’s asleep.

Haruka: One day, definitely, we’ll see a sight we’ve never seen before again.

THE END

Sentimental Haru is too precious for this world. I love that when RinHaru is together, our sensitive and quick-to-tears shark prince is the one who’s all chill and laid-back while it’s Haru—the prince of bare-minimum expressiveness—is the nostalgic, sappy one. Do you see what these two bring out in each other? They complement each other in such a dynamic and interesting way, it’s lots of fun to watch/hear them together, especially now that they’re friends again (though they’re entertaining to watch as rivals, too).

Before I end this, I’d like to leaves some quotes about Rin’s effect on Haru from KoyAni staffs/the actors:

“Haruka can’t ignore Rin, he’s concerned for Rin, and of course he loves Rin–that’s the kind of existence Rin is to him.” — Shimazaki Nobunaga {x}

“Haruka rarely shows emotion and uses water as his reason to live. However, when Rin appears in his life, his entire world changes.” — Producer Shinichiro Hatta {x}

“The one who is always able to *stir feelings in Haru’s heart is Rin.” — Nobunga Shimazaki, cast interview in the Haruka and Rin Mook

(*Other translations for “stir feelings” included fire up/arouse/put in motion) [translation via: hinalilly]

It’s never too late to jump aboard the SS RinHaru, people. We have cherry blossoms and loosy-kun t-shirts—oh, and a whole lot of canon material to feast on 😉

#rinharu #harurin #free! iwatobi swim club #rin matsuoka #haruka nanase #free!#the way i can talk about this ship for hours #i seriously can't get enough of these two sue me #SENTIMENTAL HARU IS TOO PRECIOUS #RIN MAKES HARU SENTIMENTAL #rin making haru feel things is canon #no one can tell me haru doesn't have a special kind of love for rin #rin being the one who's always able to stir feelings in haru's heart is canon #the power of rin matsuoka #would this be considered meta?#free! meta #free! ramblings #free! drama cd

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andyet-here-we-are · 4 years ago

Text

Head Over Feet

Words: 4,057 Chapters: 1/1

Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion

A/N: Thanks @3tothe1 for checking my errors. You are the best, sweetheart.

Additional Tags: Soft Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, but not that much angst etc so no worries, Fluff, Geralt writes a song for Jaskier, Geralt sings to Jaskier, mention of nightmares, Happy Ending

I hope you enjoy reading this, my dear Witchlings! 💛

(P.S: I highly recommend listening to Jonah Platt’s “Head Over Feet” cover since I was inspired by it, but shhh, we’re gonna pretend that Geralt wrote that song.)

***

“No, Jaskier. I won’t fucking sing. You better stop waiting for it.”

“But Geralt!” Jaskier whined, “You promised me!”

Yeah, right. The promise Jaskier wasn’t supposed to hear in the first place.

The promise Geralt was more than glad he had heard nevertheless.

“And now I’m saying that won’t happen.”

About two weeks ago, being the foolish, brave bard he was, Jaskier had tried to distract a Slezaerek so Geralt could kill it effortlessly. It had worked, but not without a cost, sadly.

Jaskier was hurt in the progress of doing that, and “Witchers don’t have feelings” his ass, Geralt was more than terrified that he was going to lose his little hummingbird for good this time.

“Just keep your eyes open, please,” the Witcher had almost begged as he tore a strip from his already ripped doublet and tied it cautiously around Jaskier’s wound to stop the bleeding.

“You need to keep your beautiful eyes open, understood? Jaskier? Do you understand?”

He wasn’t supposed to sleep. He shouldn’t. Because the thing with Sleazaeraks was, getting bitten by one meant there was no waking up ever again if you fell asleep.

Too bad the poison they had in them was enough to put a whale to sleep.

“And w-what’s in it for me?” was Jaskier’s answer, eyes already heavy with sleep. The antidote the Witcher made him drink wasn’t near enough to what he needed, yet he still hoped that it would be enough to keep Jaskier awake for a while.

“Keep your damn eyes open,” Geralt wanted to say.

And maybe the old Geralt, who rarely expressed his feelings to anyone unless those feelings had gotten something to do with anger, would say that.

But what left his mouth instead was: “I’ll sing a song for you if you hang on, if you don’t fall asleep. Just hang on till I get you to a healer.”

“Promise..?” The bard’s eyes had closed for a second before he revealed his baby blues to Geralt again, “you have to promise. It feels so tempting to sleep right now, my dear. You–”

“I promise. Hang on for me, little hummingbird. You always wanted to hear me sing, right? You have to hang on then.”

Thanks to all the gods in every religion -if they even really existed- Jaskier had managed to stay awake with Geralt’s help.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life!” Jaskier walked towards him with loud and determined steps, breaking the Witcher away from his thoughts.

“You have been waiting for only two weeks. Don’t be dramatic.”

“No, I’m not being dramatic, I’m being honest. You stop talking rubbish. I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life!” Jaskier insisted with a little, cute frown, making Geralt let out a small chuckle.

Yennefer rolled his eyes at the bard, “Ever the dramatic. Also, honest? Really? You are the most dishonest person if your songs are anything to go by.”

“You. Lying. Snowman.” The dramatic bard in question ignored her, poking Geralt’s chest with his index finger between every word. “I knew it, I fucking knew you wouldn’t keep your promise! I should have just kept my eyes closed!”

“Don’t say that.” The Witcher said. “You…”

“You wouldn’t be here now if you did,” was unheard. But Jaskier understood anyway.

“At least I wouldn’t have to witness such a– such a betrayal!”

Instead of saying something, Geralt looked at Yennefer, she gave him a knowing look in return -which Jaskier didn’t miss, of course-

“Wait a minute, you’re hiding something!”

“Yeah, his desire for killing you so you would finally stop nagging like a bitch,” Yennefer sighed tiredly, clearly feeling a bit annoyed by Jaskier’s antics.

“I’m not hiding something,” he lied.

He was definitely hiding something, but Jaskier didn’t need to know that.

Not yet.

“I hate my life sometimes,” the bard kept complaining, crossing his arms and finally accepting that he wasn’t going to hear Geralt singing today: “Anyway, I’m not cooking today, you are on your own.”

“And how is that supposed to be a threat? Jask, no offence, but even Ciri cooks better than you. We nearly had food poisoning the last time you tried to cook.”

“I’m sorry. What do you mean by even?” came Ciri’s voice.

Well, fuck. He probably shouldn’t have said that.

“Hey, I’m gonna go take a walk, wanna come?” Jaskier asked Ciri before Geralt could answer Ciri’s question.

“He is trying to save my ass even when he is mad at me,” Geralt thought, looking at the bard with such a loving look, but then the other man added: “Betrayed people gotta stick together, you know,” and that loving look immediately turned into a “Disappointed But Not Surprised” look.

“Sure,” agreed Ciri, giving Geralt a meaningful look before she disappeared into the woods with Jaskier.

“Wow, you really have no idea how to talk a lady. Also, you better figure out how to complete that song before your bard gives you another tantrum and crush his lute over your head or something,” said Yennefer

“Helpful as always, Yen.”

He couldn’t deny that she was right, though.

***

After spending six more nights to complete his song, Geralt was finally ready to fulfill his promise finally.

It was certainly going to be a big surprise for Jaskier since Geralt had made it clear that he wouldn’t sing. And just three days ago, Jaskier had apologized to him.

“I’m sorry that I kinda overreacted before,” he had said. “Okay, not kinda. But I just… I’ve always wondered what your singing voice sounds like, so when you said you weren’t going to sing, I felt disappointed. Anyway, I wrote a new song, you wanna hear?”

So, yeah. He was gonna be so surprised.

And oh God, he had no idea how Jaskier could do it before so many people. “Having the voice of an angel probably helps,” his mind suggested not-so-helpfully.

He had an audience of three people, three people that mean the world to him, and he was already stressed as hell. He would rather sing to an Ethereal instead.

The Witcher didn’t even know how to do this. How should he start? By saying “I’ve written a song for you,” or by singing out of the blue? Should he stand while singing? Or is it a better idea to just sit?

And for God’s sake, where should he put his damn hands?

Would it be weird if he just kept his hands at his sides? Would that make him look like a puppet in a box or something?

For a moment, he wished he knew how to play the lute. So he could just sit down and play it, not having to think about his hands. He should have let Jaskier teach him when he offered it months ago. Well, there was no point thinking about that now.

“Okay, Geralt, give yourself a minute. You can do this,” he assured himself and took a deep breath. “Just remember why you’re doing this, and just do whatever feels natural. Say something romantic before you start, maybe.”

When he took a look at Jaskier, who was sitting by the fire across from him with Ciri and talking to her excitedly about something, he knew that he shouldn’t be worried about any of these things. And he shouldn’t worry about forgetting the words, even though he felt like he would forget and make a fool of himself.

“Jaskier!” He called as Ciri stood up to go to Yennefer’s side. “Are you planning to shut your mouth at least for a couple of minutes anytime soon?”

“So much for making a romantic remark before you start singing. Well done Geralt, way to go,” a voice inside his head scolded him as Jaskier said something he failed to catch. It wasn’t his fault that it was what felt natural. Being romantic wasn’t his strong suit, but he was trying to improve.

“Okay, so. It won’t be the best song you’ve ever heard, but it’s the best I can do. If any of you laugh at me while I’m singing, I’ll kick your sorry asses.”

“Wait, wha–”

He took a deep breath once again and started singing, keeping his eyes on Jaskier as he gaped with wide-open eyes.

“I had no choice but to hear you

You stated your case time and again

I thought about it

You treat me like I’m a damn prince

I’m not used to liking that

You ask how my day was”

He heard Ciri letting out a little chuckle at the “damn prince,” part, and he gave her a warning look before turning his gaze on Jaskier again, standing up.

There was no lie in it, Jaskier did treat him like he was a prince. He treated the Witcher like he wasn’t someone people were afraid of, but someone good and royal. Someone who deserved to be respected. Someone who deserved all the compliments in the whole world, not ugly slurs.

Someone who deserved to be loved.

“You’ve already won me over in spite of me

And don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet

Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are

I couldn’t help it

It’s all your fault,” he sang, pointing at the bard while singing “it’s all your fault.”

Geralt nodded at him like saying “yes, I mean you, you silly bard,” when Jaskier briefly looked around as if he wasn’t sure Geralt was singing to him.

Of course, he meant him.

Because it sure was his fault.

It was Jaskier’s fault that his smile was more bright and dazzling than the afternoon sun, warming Geralt inside every time.

It was his fault that he had the biggest heart of gold Geralt had ever encountered, filled with so much love.

His fault that he had a voice that would make angels weep with jealousy. His fault that he was just so… Jaskier.

“Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole

You’re so much braver than I gave you credit for

That’s not lip service”

He found his hands moving naturally against his will as he sang. Guess he was worried for nothing.

“You’ve already won me over in spite of me

And don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet

Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are

I couldn’t help it

It’s all your fault”

He sang the chorus once again, walking towards the man who he was able to render speechless for once, for a good reason hopefully this time. Speechless, and surprised as hell.

When he was finally in front of Jaskier, he reached his hands out tentatively towards him, hoping that the bard would just take the hint and hold them. Sadly, he didn’t. So Geralt just bent over and grabbed his hands, pulling him up from the log he was sitting on. Then, with a barely audible sigh, he closed his eyes, not sure if he could sing that part while looking at Jaskier.

He kept singing after swallowing thickly to find his voice again, not letting go of the bard’s dainty hands:

“You are the bearer of unconditional things

You held your breath and the door for me

Thanks for your patience

You’re the best friend that I’ve ever had

Let’s be boyfriends

What are we waiting for?

What took me so long?”

“Did he just ask him to be his boyfriend?” Geralt heard Ciri gasp quietly.

“Fucking finally,“ he was sure that Yennefer was rolling his eyes right now, “they were already acting like boyfriends anyway. Well, or more like an old married couple.”

Wait, were they?

Deep down, he knew that Jaskier had feelings for him, too. But still, he couldn’t help but think “What if I’m wrong?”

What if he was opening his heart only to get it broken?

No, no way.

He was being ridiculous.

Jaskier loved him, too. There was no way that would happen.

He knew that he did. Maybe Geralt was just too stubborn to see it at first, maybe it got him decades to accept that someone could truly love him, yeah, but he finally did accept it.

They loved each other.

And it was only Geralt’s fault that he kept pushing Jaskier away from himself for so long.

It was only when he finally was succeeded, he regretted it.

He regretted it deeply.

He was aware of everything after having to spend half of the year Jaskierless - yes, it was a real word to him, more real than any word, even, it meant “suffering” “pain” and “sadness” in his dictionary - he was aware of his love for him.

If anything, it was Jaskier who should have been afraid.

Afraid of getting hurt by him again, afraid of being vulnerable again.

Because he had already laid his heart bare to the Witcher before, yet Geralt had broken his heart so badly.

But Jaskier had given him another chance anyway, and Geralt had promised himself to do his best not to make him regret it.

The white-haired man had said goodbye to The Old Geralt right when he got that chance.

“Goodbye,” he had told him, “no longer hiding behind excuses, no longer always avoiding to express yourself. Maybe it will be difficult to say goodbye to you, I know. And you will appear again in front of people I don’t know, as it should be, but I have to say goodbye to you. ‘Cause if I go on like this, I will only cause harm to my loved ones, thinking that I am protecting them.”

Perhaps it seemed like there was no radical change at all since one couldn’t suddenly say goodbye to the person he had been for years. Old habits die hard, after all.

But changing was the important thing, no matter how slow.

Back in the day, Geralt would pretend he didn’t care or like it whenever Jaskier composed a new song. But the new Geralt would make little comments on his songs instead of acting like he wasn’t even listening.

And even just saying “That’s a nice song,” or “I don’t hate it,” with the tiniest smile was enough to make Jaskier happy. It was enough to make him realize that things weren’t the same anymore.

The new Geralt showed it when he was concerned for the bard, and he paid attention to Jaskier’s feelings, to his warnings, to him.

He tried his best to make it up for his every mistake.

He tried his best to be the friend Jaskier deserved since the very beginning.

It wasn’t just a one-sided deal, though. Because Jaskier had his own regrets as well, and he knew that neither he nor Geralt was flawless.

There were moments Geralt would get mad about something that had happened; moments that required him to be alone for a while.

While old Jaskier would try to lighten the mood with jokes and would force him to say something, new Jaskier wouldn’t do that.

He would just say: “I’m here if you wanna talk,” and when Geralt was back, he would do his best to make him feel better. He would get him in the bath if Geralt wanted him to, washing him with such care. Then he would make him a nice cup of tea before insisting that he needed to take a nap.

Not once would he open his mouth to say anything about whatever had upset Geralt unless the white-haired man said something about it first.

One of these days, Geralt had asked the bard while he was washing the Witcher silently: “Do you remember when I said that I needed no one..?”

With that question, the gentle hands that massaging his scalp had come to a halt.

“You know what they say,” Jaskier had replied bitterly, the tone of hurt in his voice making Geralt ache “one has to forget first to remember.”

“I was wrong,” Geralt had admitted with a mumble after a moment of heavy silence, turning to his right a bit and reaching over to hug the bard’s legs. “I was so wrong.”

“I need you,” he had thought, his hair dampening the other man’s trousers, “I need you in my life, Jaskier. I can’t say it out loud, but please hear my silent words. Find them in my actions, find them in my touch.”

As if reading his mind, Jaskier had moved one hand to Geralt’s bare shoulder and caressed the skin there gently and slowly before saying: “You have me, Geralt. And I’ll be in your life as long as you want me to be. As long as you act like it.”

Things had changed again after that. In a good way.

They had become more touchy with each other. Jaskier was already a touchy person, but Geralt couldn’t say the same for himself.

Normally.

After their little conversation, Geralt was feeling more comfortable with showing his affection with little things, like ruffling Jaskier’s silky hair when he would pout, annoyed at Geralt for something. Or when he would do something impressive.

Little things like calling him “little hummingbird” instead of just “bard” because Jaskier reminded him of one.

Just like a hummingbird, he was unique and beautiful in every aspect, and it was hard to catch up with him since he was constantly in motion. Also, he usually talked non-stop and when he would stop singing or talking, he would start humming this time. And eh, let’s not forget about his colourful outfits that suited him so well.

So, Geralt called him “hummingbird”, and he could swear that Jaskier’s eyes shined with happiness whenever he called him that.

Maybe he could finally call him “my little hummingbird” pretty soon.

“I’ve never felt this healthy before

I’ve never wanted something rational

I am aware now

You’ve already won me over in spite of me

And don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet

Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are

I couldn’t help it

It’s all your fault”

And he was done.

Yet, even after he finished singing, he couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes.

When Jaskier pulled his hands away, he felt his heart clench in his chest. He cursed himself in his head, feeling too anxious to even breathe. Did he fuck everything up? Just like that? Did he just misread everything like a goddamn fool?

What was gonna-

Before he could ask himself any further questions, he felt a feather-light touch on his cheeks.

He opened his eyes only to find Jaskier’s stunning blue eyes shining with tears, looking at him like Geralt had just caught the moon for him.

Geralt waited for him to say something.

Anything.

“Was my singing so terrible it made you cry?” He asked when Jaskier said nothing in a full minute. The bard’s face was so close to his that he could count the drops that were nestled on his long eyelashes.

The white-haired man wiped his tears away with his thumb gently as he leaned in to press their foreheads together. “Or you didn’t like the song? I believe it was much better than The Fishmonger’s Daughter.”

He knew that Jaskier would say something if he made a comment on one of his songs. This was a trick he had learned a long time ago.

“Excuse me,” here it came, “but The Fishmonger’s Daughter is a great song.”

“No, it isn’t. You just sing ‘ba ba,’ and ‘ta-da-da’ for half of the song. Even four years old can do that.”

“And people love it. They love to sing along and it’s catchy, also it has a story in it like every one of my songs,” Jaskier claimed with a weak voice and swallowed as Geralt ran his fingertips lightly along the side of his neck. He sounded like he could break at any moment as he whispered after wrapping one hand around the Witcher’s waist: “Now will you just shut me up with a kiss or should I just keep–”

And who was he to deny Jaskier of something he wanted as well..?

So Geralt shut him up with pressing his lips against his soft lips, kissing him gently but passionately. At first, Jaskier just held him close instead of kissing him back, but then his eyes closed and he returned his kiss with equal fervour.

He could hear the distant cheering of Ciri and Yennefer as they kissed for God knows how long. It was strange how a couple of minutes had felt endless, but also too short at the same time.

“Hey,” Jaskier swallowed again when Geralt pulled back a little and broke the kiss so they could take a breath, “I’ve never heard this song before. Where did you…”

“Because it was written for you, you silly, beautiful dandelion,” answered the Witcher. “By me.”

A beat.

And with that, a loud sob broke free from Jaskier’s throat, tears falling freely over his beautiful face as the sound of footsteps going off into the distance was heard.

“I’m so afraid that this is all happening in my head,” he whispered, burying his head on Geralt’s shoulder, his frame shaking slightly. “I’m fucking terrified that this is nothing but a vivid dream. I’ve waited for so long, Geralt. Countless times I’ve dreamed about hearing you say that you wanted me, too. Not just as a friend, but more. And now, I–” Jaskier took a shaky breath, “Could we just…”

Geralt hugged him, rubbing small soothing circles on his back, not needing Jaskier to complete his sentence.

He knew what he meant anyway.

Because Jaskier wasn’t the only one who felt like this.

There were nights Geralt would still wake up in cold sweat, finding it hard to believe that Jaskier was in the same room with him for real.

More often than not, the bard wouldn’t realize that Geralt had woken up since he was a heavy sleeper who wouldn’t notice if an earthquake happened. So, the white-haired man would just watch him sleep until he could convince himself that he was real.

An impulse to brush his fingers through Jaskier’s silky hair would come up every time without any exceptions.

Sometimes he would almost reach out to him, but then he would instantly retrieve his hand, afraid of waking him up even though he knew that he probably wouldn’t.

But sometimes, he couldn’t resist that impulse and would brush his fingers through Jaskier’s hair oh so carefully. And then stroke against the softness of his cheek before pulling the thick comforter over him, smiling because: “this is real.”

In that rare moments when Jaskier would wake up to see Geralt awake, trying to calm himself, he would ask him what was wrong. And the look Geralt would give him would always be enough for him to understand that what his nightmares were about.

The bard would pull him into his arms then, singing softly, lovingly in his ear.

“Can you just…”

Geralt would start after Jaskier would stop singing eventually, but he could never finish his question.

He could never ask: “Can you just keep holding me for a little while longer?”

But he didn’t need to.

“Sure,” Jaskier would keep holding him as Geralt would close his eyes, listening to the relaxing heartbeats of the bard.

“I’m here, you adorable, big snowman,” he would whisper afterwards. “I’m here.”

So, no.

Geralt definitely didn’t need him to complete his sentence.

“Yeah,” he nodded, pulling him even closer to himself, not even able to tolerate being two-inch apart from him, “we can stay like this, Jaskier.”

“Don’t let go,” Jaskier begged after a while, “Please, don’t let go.”

Just like he did when his screams would break the silence of the night sometimes, alarming all of the Witcher’s senses with concern.

Just like when Geralt would hold him loosely to calm him down, telling him to just follow his breathing and to breathe with him, nice and slow as he would take Jaskier’s hand and place it on his own broad chest.

“Never.” He assured him sweetly, breathing in Jaskier’s heavenly scent and placing a little kiss on his shoulder “Never again, my little hummingbird.”

Seriously…

What took him so long..?

#the witcher #geraskier #jaskier #geralt #the witcher fanfiction #my writing

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xmanicpanicx · 4 years ago

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Romanticized Things That Aren't Actually Romantic

1) The "shut up" kiss

It happens in more movies, TV shows, and novels than I can even count. One half of the couple (usually a woman or girl) will be talking, and the other person (usually a guy) will suddenly lay an ol’ sloppy one on her mouth. Often times, she’s rambling about her insecurities, so some people think it’s cute when he kisses her, symbolically laying her worries to rest. Don’t worry, hon! There’s nothing to be insecure about! He likes you! There are two big problems with this. The first is that when someone is speaking, you shouldn’t cut them off; best case scenario, it’s rude. Of course, people cut each other off all the time in conversation, so that’s different. But when a character interrupts another character’s speech to kiss them, they are essentially prioritizing their sexual desires over the other person’s need to express themselves. It’s an action that has an agenda. Everyone wants to be truly listened to when they speak. So if, for example, we have a female character babbling about her insecurities, the male character should hear her out, and then respond to what she says. There is plenty of romantic potential in words — even more than in kisses, in my opinion. His response could still be a kiss after she’s finished speaking (as long as it’s not a rattlesnake-strike type of kiss that doesn’t give her a choice). However, we still have another problem: the female character’s self-confidence shouldn’t be contingent upon the male character’s opinion of her. In other words, a kiss from a guy, no matter how much she loves him, will not and should not heal her negative perception of herself. Not healthy. Real people and characters should accept themselves on their own terms rather than on the approval of others.

Sometimes, the sudden kiss will come in the middle of a female character’s angry rant. The male character thinks she’s cute or sexy when she’s angry, which can be frustrating and patronizing for anyone who voices their anger because they want to be listened to and taken seriously. But regardless of why the character is talking, the other character should stop kissin’ and start listenin’.

2) Female double standards

Women and girls often feel really uncomfortable when men objectify them and make comments on their bodies, so they call these men out — and rightfully so. They also call male authors out for only describing women in terms of their bodies and giving them very little, if any, personality. Once again, rightfully so. Unfortunately, in real life and in literature, there is a double standard here. It’s one thing to write an erotic novel in which bodies of every gender are described in explicit detail and with an express purpose. But I’ve read novels without any sexual content that go into so much detail about guys’ looks. And these male characters are often not well-developed, either (think of the stereotypical jock with a hot bod and no brain). Authors — especially female authors, who are usually the ones perpetuating this — need to do better than this. If it's not okay to do that to girls, it's not okay to do that to guys, either. Also, what is up with that scene from The Notebook? The one where Rachel McAdams repeatedly slaps Ryan Gosling because he’s breaking up with her. How on Earth is that okay? The Notebook is widely considered to be a super-romantic movie, but there is nothing romantic about that scene, and it should be a deal-breaker for their relationship. If the tables were turned and Ryan Gosling slapped Rachel McAdams for breaking up with him, the entire plot of the movie would be different. It would be a thriller, a story about a woman trying to escape a scary ex. We would never root for the two of them to get back together.

3) Overly-metaphorical sex scenes

Cheese, cheese, and more cheese. Would you like some crust and tomato sauce with all that cheese? So many novels shy away from the anatomical details and favor metaphors for how the sex makes the characters (or just the narrating character) feel. In theory, there is nothing wrong with this, but I personally tend to roll my eyes more often than not at the actual execution. The narrator will say something too dramatic, like “our bodies became one and the universe opened up before me.” Or “and then we were flying, soaring with and through one another.” Or something else that is just… not sexy. As far as being poetic, there isn’t anything special about those phrases, either. There is nothing wrong with describing sex as it really is. I realize that novels featuring sex that are aimed at young adults probably cannot describe things too explicitly, but there’s no need to replace dirty details with flowery language. Go for whatever sincerity you can in the situation. There are plenty of different emotions to mine and sensual details leading up to the actual sex that read more thrillingly than the sex scene itself.

4) Instalove

It's simply not as much fun to see characters fall for each other right away. And how could they possibly fall for each other right away, anyhow? Is it all about looks? If so, both characters are instantly less likable because they're shallow. And that's not real love, either. You need to actually know someone in order to feel a such a deep emotion for them.

It's also important to note that making the characters "love" each other at the outset of the story does not heighten the emotional stakes. It actually cheapens them. Because how can we take this so-called love seriously when we don't get to know, don't get to care about, the characters as individual people before they fall for each other?

Now, if we get to know each character and watch them get to know each other, and slowly fall for each other, that's much more rewarding. It's character growth, and it's a whole process that we, as readers, get to experience vicariously though them.

This may just be a personal preference, but I think it's best to even avoid phrases like “my heartbeat skipped” or “my skin tingled when our hands brushed” in the beginning stages of the story. Even though the declarations of love and outright displays off affection may come later on, statements like these reveal instant attraction, which still isn't as rewarding as attraction that grows over time and through events.

5) Love interests being obsessed with each other

From approximately 2005-2015, YA literature saw a horde of books featuring teenage girls and boys who are everything to each other. I almost mean that literally. The first really popular book like this was Twilight, but it had a huge influence on everything in YA that came after, especially YA fantasy. How romantic, some people think, that hero lives for the heroine! And vice versa! Perfect! Meant to be! Everyone wishes they could have that one, true, perfect love!

Listen. Go back to Britney Spears’s first album and play the song “Born to Make You Happy”: ”I don’t know how to live without your love, I was born to make you happy.” Solid 90s bubblegum pop, but with unhealthy lyrics. An unhealthy mentality. Most of us are familiar with that heady, all-consuming feeling of falling in love, how it feels like that’s the best and happiest part of life as it’s happening. There’s nothing wrong with portraying that. It’s relatable. The glorification of it beyond all else is the problem. The hero and heroine have scares throughout the story during which they almost lose each other, and that brings to light just how strongly they feel each other, to the extreme that nothing matters except each other. Then, of course, they ultimately end up together, happily ever after, never having to part again. But in real life, people break up, or sometimes even die. People have no choice but to be apart from the person they loved so much from then on. And it’s devastating, but it’s not the end, even if it sometimes feels like it. That’s why it’s so important for books to give some indicator that there are other things that matter besides (and dare I say even more than) the one person the hero/heroine is in love with. The characters have to have some sense of self-love or resilience. They have to have other people they care about, or at least values/principles and goals. They have to be an actual person, not just a vessel filled to the brim with love for just one other person. Romanticizing a co-dependent relationship can be hope-crushing message, especially for teenagers who haven��t had enough time to grow, to weather the storm of life and toughen up and become wiser and more self-aware and self-confident.

7) The super dominant male love interest

Okay, I’m not trying to kink-shame anyone because I know there are people who absolutely love this trope. I want to say it’s fine, as long as it remains in Tropeland. But even if women want to keep these love interests solely within their fantasies, I do worry about the message it sends to men, if it makes them think that they can be abusive douchebags because women are into that. I already know of far too many men who think that women are only into assholes.

Personally, I’ll never understand the appeal of a man, fictional or otherwise, who dictates what a woman should wear, her food choices, where they go and what they do for dates ALL THE TIME. And jealousy! Sure, jealousy indicates that someone cares, and it’s a normal human emotion, but I’ll never understand the appeal of a guy who gets so jealous, he won’t allow his girlfriend any freedom. I’ll never understand how cruel, disparaging words could ever be on the same sexiness level as dirty talk. And I really, really will never understand how a man physically harming a woman could be considered sexy. It’s weak and cowardly, hurting someone who doesn’t stand a chance of fighting back because they’re nowhere near as strong.

I get the appeal of a guy who sees a woman as his equal and isn’t afraid to spar with her, challenge her, and maybe even be a little bit rough with her, knowing that she can handle it. I see the appeal of a confident man who isn’t afraid to tell a woman what he wants. When his presence becomes legitimately threatening and completely selfish, that’s when I personally see a problem. But hey, to each their own.

#writing #writing advice #ya fiction #writing rants #writing rambles

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wings-of-a-storm · 4 years ago

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So there’s a scene in ‘Love, Victor’ that I can’t seem to stop thinking about. It just fascinates me to a ridiculous level (probably more than it warrants, to be honest). It’s when Benji sings ‘Call Me Maybe’ to Victor at Battle of the Bands.

Yes, this moment! I have yielded to its power.

Like where the hell do I even begin to start unpacking the existence of this kind of moment so early on in the show?

To start with, I used to be haunted by the question: Was Benji actually singing to Victor with that intense eye-contact for the whole song or was the entire thing just “Victor Vision” and symbolic of what Victor wishes was happening?

And at first, my answer was: There’s just no wayyyy Benji could have actually done that! For the simple reason of HOW THE HELL WOULD HE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO JUSTIFY THAT TO HIMSELF? Singing a love song inspired by another guy, to that guy’s face, while the boyfriend he is super committed to is literally standing beside him, dropping phat beats on his bass to help the song come to life?

And yet…over the course of the performance, Benji starts to look almost angry/bitter/sad as he’s singing.

And as soon as the performance wraps up, Benji’s eyes are still locked right onto Victor’s as he steps off the stage. Like there is no searching, he knows exactly were Victor is and heads straight to him. And even more telling, once his Singer Persona drops off, he is nervously fiddling with his hands as he walks to Victor, like he’s waiting for Victor’s verdict of the performance. Kind of like: “Did you like it? Because I know how much you love that song and I sang it for you.”

I mean… Excuse me, sir? Consider me convinced that Benji really was singing it while staring at Victor the whole time, and Victor Vision just embellished parts. And you know what, that suddenly turns a fairly tropey scene into something so much more psychologically stimulating. Welcome to the holy trifecta of burning questions:

- Why did Benji make a cover in the first place? - Why did he sing it staring at Victor the whole time? - How did he justify it to himself?

The beauty of Benji's enigma is that the answers to those questions can be anything you want them to be. So many reasons fit, and so many overlap. It’s really rather fun to try and figure it all out, especially when there aren’t really any wrong answers.

So I guess here are mine:

WHY DID BENJI MAKE A COVER IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Fact: After sharing a fun Moment with Victor (dancing together like no one but Victor’s mother was watching, hah), Benji went home inspired to turn that song into a cover of his own. Why? Looking at it logically, their time together must have meant a lot to Benji, more than anyone could have realised. It affected him to the point where he had to preserve that moment, live in it for a bit longer, and also unpack it in his own mind in a way he’s most familiar and comfortable with: a creative outlet.

I love the idea of Benji listening to ‘Call Me Maybe’ over and over again when he got back home. At first just to relive the high he got from sharing such an uninhibited Moment with Victor (a rare occurrence after spending so much of his time walking around egg shells with Derek?). But then, after the nth play, getting the inspiration to make his own slower version of the track to better explore his feelings about that night and the way Victor makes him feel. Then finally re-listening to the song over and over again but this time to get the right chords and the right splicing/arrangement of lyrics that could convey his feelings but not completely cross the line into full on romance…

But Benji making that cover could have been inspired by so many tangled up reasons, like:

- He realised the lyrics were mirroring his own thoughts and experience, so singing it out loud was helping him process the harmless crush he seemed to be developing

- He wanted to preserve the memory of their dancing Moment because it gives him a dose of happy feels to relive it

- He may have partly intended to make the new version as a sort of gift to Victor that he’d one day play for him (maybe even at Battle of the Bands if Victor changed his mind and showed up). A gift that would further tie them together and cement their friendship, be a way to show Victor how much their friendship already means to him, and give back a little to Victor for trusting Benji with personal/embarrassing information about his guilty pleasures. Like a pre-Drawing gift, with similar energy

And let’s be real, also to try to impress Victor so that Benji can feel a little cool and desirable since it seems he doesn’t often get to feel that way around Derek. Like seriously, who can forget the lingering looks of anticipation Benji gave Victor when he first told him he was a Lead Singer in a Band. He wanted to impress Victor so badly. And who wouldn’t crave Victor’s sweet brand of attention?

Okay, so now Benji has a cover. But…

WHY DID BENJI SING IT STARING AT VICTOR THE WHOLE TIME?

Well firstly, how passionate must Benji have been behind the scenes if he was able to arrange a cover in less than 24 hours before the contest and prioritise it in band practice so that everyone was on board with his musical whim? (And how did he convince Derek to play such an unpretentious song?)

But I imagine the Intense Staring was probably a mixture of:

- Benji had probably spent a lot of the night hoping that Victor would miraculously show up after all (that mood of secretly looking through the crowd every so often throughout the night just in case…). And then when Victor actually did show up, Benji made the band play CMM even though they were still workshopping it, and got so caught up in his excitement and determination, he zeroed in on Victor hard and forgot to reign it in

- Because Benji feels something for Victor (even if he can’t name what exactly that is), and performance is a safe way to express the things he’s not meant to be feeling. It’s a safe space because when you’re performing something, you have the creative freedom to be someone else, to become another version of yourself, a persona, with the license to use whatever emotions you have in your arsenal to tell a story. Benji could express his yearning and fascination (etc) for Victor with the distance of a parallel universe or alternate reality. Stage Benji is allowed to stare

- Because Mia was there with Victor and Benji felt compelled and determined to win Victor’s attention back. You know, some good old fashioned jealousy born of insecurity -- that feeling of being a little insecure and protective of a new friendship, of wanting that person to just see you as special, of feeling like you have something to prove or you’ll end up forgotten in the background. (And maybe he was also a little sick of straight(?) girls having it so easy with the cute guys…)

- Because Benji subconsciously wanted to telegraph to Victor that he is interested in him (and is bitter that it’s not that simple) and wanted to see if Victor bites back. For science

- Or maybe because Benji saw a perfect chance to perform the song as a cute gift to Victor since he actually showed up, but then his intentions quickly unravelled into the prior points, haha

And that leads me to…

HOW DID HE JUSTIFY THE INTENSE* STARING TO HIMSELF?

(*Because even if the song was meant to be something innocent like a homage to an in-joke with Victor or a harmless means to process his feelings on this new and exciting friendship with an attractive boy, the intensity with which he sang it felt like something else entirely. It transcended friendship into a very ambiguous zone. And there was so much yearning in it. Particularly by the end...)

I think Benji probably justified his behaviour by thinking:

- It’s okay for Lead Singer Benji to stare at his muse while performing a story. (It’s just a persona, there’s no need for guilt!)

- It’s normal to be excited by a new friendship and it’s okay to want to sing a giddy song about that experience. And at worst, it’s just a harmless crush that will eventually fade once the novelty wears off. It’s not like he has any intention to do anything further with it since he is committed to Derek. It’s just fun to feel the tingles of a teeny crush…….

Alright, that’s it. I’m out. I’m done. I’ve got nothing left. Thanks for the ride, Benji, you mysterious, complicated, hopeless romantic.

#Love Victor #Benji Campbell #Victor Salazar #Venji #Battle of the How Dare You

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hazzabeeforlou · 5 years ago

Text

Fine Line Masterpost:

A breakdown, musically and lyrically

In Fine Line, ‘raw honesty’ doesn’t really mean delving into the details of who Harry Styles is sleeping with, but rather it’s a glimpse into the world of a 25-year-old who is both deeply in love and who fucks up a lot; he’s given to sugary supplications, is plagued by jealousy, pouts at consequences, and struggles with understanding an inner self that keeps prodding him towards exploration of his identity.

The album is constructed to be consumed by various factions of the fandom. There’s no getting away from the surface dedication of HS2 as an ode to a blonde supermodel with a delicious French accent whose new boyfriend’s father owns a gallery, a girl who has golden hair and blue eyes. I won’t be arguing that away, because it’s intentional, it’s meant to be the surface layer.

The mantle is not the crust, though. Taken individually, each song can be seen as speaking to the queer experience in varied and complex ways, and I’ve seen some truly beautiful explorations of this angle. Especially with TPWK and FL, the anthemic solidarity with queer experience is astounding and gorgeous. I think it’s no accident that this broad take holds true as we zoom in and look at the complex details; Harry has written songs that speak both to this meaning and also hold incredibly personal and intimate significance between him and a partner (in this post we’ll call them Subject).

I will be focusing on the album as a cohesive narrative in the context of it’s chronological, linear progression. Fine Line details an incredibly personal struggle; it’s a love letter, an at times embarrassing, self-loathing reflection on a love gone wrong, a love struggling, an emerging self, and a hope redeemed.

Please feel free to ask questions if any of the technical stuff is confusing, but please also remember that these are my opinions, coupled with my analysis as a professional musician (meaning, hopefully I’m remembering those torturous years of theory dictation correctly!)

Side A

All four songs share an off-kilter-ness, a restless, unsettled, frantic feeling, as if Harry is balancing, undecided between throwing himself at the feet of the one he loves or pulling away. This is no illusion; the tonic base is missing from each song save WS (but even here the tonic is sabotaged in our ear, as we’ll discuss). We’re on a journey to side B; we start with a hope that sweet memories and lust can salvage love, and we end with Harry going his own way.

Golden: There are only two chords in this song, DM and CM7, the V and IV7 of the implied tonic, G Major. We never get to tonic though. We never touch that home base. The songs “da da da’s” give it a happier, peppier illusion than the text reveals.

Harry is already broken, already reflecting and hopeless as the song begins. His intended listener, Subject - the sun, the golden one - waits for him in the sky, and is all he’s ever known. Subject has always browned his skin just right, but now, Harry reflects, perhaps has been too bright for him. (Is some aspect of Harry buried in the brilliance of Subject’s light?) This golden Subject is scared, though, scared Harry is so open. Harry doesn’t want to be alone, but he also needs to peel back edges of himself previously unexplored. Stepping into and away from light is a major theme for Harry, and this opening song sets that precedent. Subject is scared because “hearts get broken,” but Harry’s heart is already broken, so perhaps this refers not to interpersonal heartbreak, but situational. Harry recognizes he’s “out of his head...” BUT, he counters, “Loving you’s the antidote!” He naively gushes out poetry while Subject remains unconvinced. We establish an impasse.

Watermelon Sugar: The Dm - Cm - Am6 - GM chord progression is an odd one; my best guess is that the song is in D minor, so the progression is:

i, VII, v, IV

That’s not typical in a minor key. Usually the leading tone note (in this case a C) is raised (so C#) making the five chord Major (V) not minor (v) and the seven chord diminished (viio) not Major (VII). also the Major IV ignores the B flat in the key signature of D minor and instead uses B natural. So all this to say that the tonic base STILL doesn’t feel like a tonic home, because the normalcy around the key signature is erased. Everything still feels unsettled, unresolved.

Much has been made of the oral sex interpretation, so, ya. This is a song about remembering the best of times, a prayer to Subject, a plea for summertime and bellies and strawberries, and a feeling Harry is desperate to get back.

Adore You: The three chords in this song, Cm - BbM - AbM, imply an E flat Major key, so vi, V, IV, respectively. The tonic, Eb (I), is (once again) never used, and instead vi, V, IV circle without ever coming to rest.

Subject, “Honey,” creates a rainbow paradise. This is another love letter to Subject, let me adore you, I’ll walk through fire for you, you don’t have to say anything just listen to me, you don’t have to say you love me too, just please, please... you’ve been on my mind. Let me adore you like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do. By this wording, Harry admits that adoring Subject is not the only thing he ever does, yet he wishes Subject to remember, or imagine, this false reality.

Lights Up: We’re in C Major here, with the chords Am - GM - FM, creating the same exact chord progression as Adore You, vi, V, IV. We (yet again!) never reach the tonic of C Major. It’s a constant tease of resolution, but there’s no solid home base. We’re suspended in limbo.

Subject is “sorry, btw.” What does that mean, Harry asks? Sorry we’re here in this place, that this is happing? This song is Harry’s declaration: he’s not staying, he’s not coming back down. It would be sweet if things stayed the same, but no, I’m stepping into the light. “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark”... even all the golden sun of Subject couldn’t heal the void in Harry’s soul? Harry asks subject, do you know who you are? implying that he’s determined to answer this for himself. I’m reminded of the crab in Moana, singing “Shiny.” There’s a certain bravado here, a reckless glittery happiness, a flaunting, an exuberance in discovery.

Side B

Tonics are all over the place. Harry is certainly certain about heartbreak. No ambiguity here.

Cherry: GM - Em - CM, or I, vi, IV. We’re in G Major and we know it. Repetitive “cou-cos’s” pepper the track like hanging fruit (let’s imagine from cherry trees).

The song is a simple one, simple in its jealousy. Harry has let Subject go, and now Subject is at their best... and Harry hates it. He doesn't want his former pet term of endearment used on another, even though he has no claim on Subject’s actions anymore. Harry keeps finding bits of Subject in how he dresses. They’re not talking lately, and Harry perhaps is most upset that this separation isn’t going how he planned... Subject is at their best without him.

The gallery line is inserted as a bridge, a unique line of music rather separate from the rest, an intentional narrative. But what’s most fascinating is the end of the song. The previous repetitive chord progression changes. Now we have

GM - AM7 (an added C#) - Am7 (4/2 inversion) - GM

or I, II7, ii7, I

The “cou-cou” lands during the AM7 (the II7) and it lands EXACTLY on the note of B, extending the 7th chord to a ninth chord, before, on its second syllable, dropping to the A and holding there (a kind of suspension) while the chord progression resolves to the Am7 (ii7), making the A a chord tone. This is deliberate. Unless the whole piece was harmonically built around Camille’s random use of a B to A in a voicemail (also randomly in the perfect key for Harry’s voice) this was purposely recorded for aesthetic effect. I for one really love it, I could listen to breathy french girls mutter about beaches endlessly...

Falling: A straightforward progression. In the key of E Major,

EM - C#m - BM - AM or I, vi, V, IV

With Falling, the only ballade on the album, we see Harry shift from jealousy to self destructive behavior. I don’t believe the ‘wandering hands’ line is about cheating (he and Subject were already apart) but rather, Harry seeking to wound Subject by turning to others. Communication is back open, because Subject says they care, they miss him too, but now Harry’s gone and fucked it all up. What have I become? What if Subject never needs me again? I can’t unpack the baggage they left. I just want Subject AROUND! Harry isn’t even begging for a romantic connection, he’s simply begging for Subject’s presence. He was so sure he could discover himself in LU, and now he keeps asking, what am I now? Who has he become on his own? He’s falling, and there’s no one to catch him.

To Be So Lonely: This song waffles between two keys, just as Harry waffles between defending himself to Subject and finally, finally admitting (in just one small line) that he is, in fact, sorry. The song seems to start out in C Major, with CM and Am chords (I, iv) but then at the chorus the Am chord elides from a iv to a i, revealing the key is really A minor. The chorus goes on to be:

Am - GM - Em - FM

or i, VII (lowered leading tone in minor), v (lowered leading tone in minor), VI

A fluttering mandolin mimics a fluttering heartbeat, and a folk music lilt gives the song a certain feel of heartbreak.

Harry asks for Subject to not blame the drunk caller, likely himself. Harry was away. He missed Subject. He was just a little boy when he fell, and presumably Subject caught him that time. Subject is trying to be friends, they mean well, perhaps have taken pity on him, but Harry cannot stand to be called baby now, not when that name doesn’t mean what it used to, not when it’s a hollow word. Harry’s ‘home’ is suddenly a lonely place, but Subject has his reasons for how he’s acted, presumably good ones, and finally Harry gives his mea culpa, “this is it, so I’m sorry.”

Interestingly, only after admitting that he’s made mistakes too, that he’s not perfect, that he shares the blame, does Harry confront and open himself to the realization contained in the next song, the heart of the album and the crux of what Harry’s been dancing around up until this point.

She: In E minor, both verse and chorus use the same progression:

Em - DM - CM - Am - (Bm, a quick lead-in to) - Em

or i, II, VI, iv, v (no raised leading tone), i

This Bowie-esc sounding song is the first to have characters. In addition to the Subject (perennially addressed as ‘You’) there is The Man and She. I would argue The Man and She are both Harry, a duality. The man drops his kids off at school, the man is thinking of You, like all of us do (everyone thinks of their SO perhaps). The Man goes through mundane daily tasks, but is he faking it? Does he really know what to do? He’s playing pretend, so pretend.

Now Harry introduces She. (When speaking of She, Harry sings in a high falsetto.) She lives in daydreams, she is the first one he sees, and Harry doesn’t know who She is. A Woman just in his head, who sleeps in his (a jump up to the falsetto for just this one word in the verse) bed while he plays pretend. Much has been said about the gender/fluidity discovery in this song, and by better than me. It’s clear what Harry is saying, it’s clear what he’s going through and wrestling with. He’s thinking of Subject, but also haunted by She, in his head, in his mind’s eye, in his daydreams. She is a part of Harry, and Harry wants to know who She is.

Side C

Uncomplicated tonics! All Major! A shift into happiness perhaps?

Sunflower: F Major. BbM - FM - CM, or IV, I, V. The bridge is fancy:

iii, IV, V, vi, I, V vi, V (vi?) V

Some trippie hippie song from the 60s! Two lines of thought are apparent from the get go; Harry says he wants to get to know Subject, but then says “before I got to know you.” It’s as if this is a new beginning, like he and Subject are starting over. Much is made of the ‘seed’ thing, a metaphor for new life and rebirth, “plant new seeds in the melody.” Harry is trying hard not to talk to Subject, to not seem eager, not act a fool. He was just tongue tied, then he’s still tongue tied, implying he’s done this whole dance before. He implores Subject to hold their sweet memories: domestic times, kitchens, kids. In Golden, Subject was the sun. Now Subject is a sunflower, hung up high in the gallery, out of the shade, in the light a sunflower needs to thrive, into the light, step into the light. Little gasps from Harry interject throughout; is he surfacing from water (LU music video?), is he breathing between kisses, is he suddenly gifted new life like Gandalf atop Isengard? The end of the piece devolves into calls of unbridled, nonsensical joy, like birds song, like mating calls amongst brilliant plumage.

Canyon Moon: D Major. DM - GM - AM - DM (I, IV, V, I)

Bridge DM - (Em transit?) - AM - DM (I, (ii), V, I)

Chorus DM - AM - DM - GM (I, V6, I6, IV)

Perhaps the most straightforward tonic bound song of the album. Harry is missing Subject, but it’s a happy nostalgia now, a hopeful one, a “two weeks and I’ll be home.” Home is no longer a lonely place, like in TBSL. The world is happy waiting (there’s no rush? No need to have everything figured out?). “Doors yellow, broken, blue.” You can’t bribe the door on the way to the sky a sky where Harry’s Golden sun awaits him, and now the sky door is broken, busted through, that blue door to a blue sky that never looked so blue.

We get another glimpse of She here; Subject remains You, Harry remains Harry, but there’s also a She who plays old hippies’ love songs and pretends to know the words; perhaps this is another Camille reference for narrative purposes, but I lean more towards this being another reference to She as Harry, exploring odd new music he’s never heard, trying not to be so pretentious about it but failing. (He’s such an Aquarius.) Most charmingly of all, the single whistler becomes two by the end of the song.

Treat People With Kindness: F Major. This is the most interesting piece in terms of text painting.

We start with CM6 - FM, then FM6/4 - BbM, then back to CM6 - FM, then we hold on the Am chord, and then repeat the whole thing. So analyzed in F Major this would be V6, I, I6/4, IV, V6, I, iii.

But. By using the I6 to IV, Harry plays with the idea of a V of IV, where you take the IV chord of the key and pretend it has its own dominant (V) and use the V of IV not as the I chord normally is used, but as a Leading Tone chord to IV.

ALL THAT TO SAY. He’s illustrating the lyrics. During “Maybe we can find a place” the chords are playing with dual resolutions. Where is the actual tonic? Is it F Major or B Flat Major? It’s ambiguous! We don’t know! We haven’t found our place yet!

But then! The bridge. “And if we’re here long enough” and look where we land, on a CM chord, then BbM, then FM, a solid V, IV, I progression. And THEN (bless this boy) on the word belong we get the same A minor chord (the iii) but we get a 7th added to the chord, a G, and Harry holds this G in the melody (plant new seeds in the melody), a note that VERY MUCH DOES NOT BELONG because in no universe does a iii chord in Major have a 7th added! And Harry not only ADDS but draws attention to this note, this note that doesn’t belong!!! Then this iii7 chord resolves to C Major (V), making the G note a chord tone, making it BELONG, making it fit perfectly.

GOD. Weep with me.

This is Over the Rainbow. This is Hair, this is Age of Aquarius. Somewhere there’s a place we can belong and feel good and people will celebrate and rejoice in us, someday a new age will dawn.

Harry is plunging into the deep end, dreaming, caught up in his good feelings and his euphoria in being “given second chances.” He’s tentative about admitting reckless hope to Subject; instead he says, “Maybe we can find a place to feel good?” Harry says he doesn’t need all the answers. He said in LU “do you know who you are” then in Falling “What am I now?” then in She “I don't know who she is” and now he’s at peace. He feels good in his skin, and he will keep on dancing.

Most personally, I think the sudden somber turn of the line “If our friends all pass away” is in reference to grief. He’s speaking to Subject, but also to himself. It will be okay, okay, okay. Harry can’t control his life, he doesn’t have everything figured out, but he’s come to accept that.

Side D

Fine Line: D Major. We come full circle, returning to the use of only three chords like at the start of the album. This time, though, Harry resolves to tonic in a repetitive pattern used for both the verses and chorus:

Bm, GM7, DM6/4, or vi, IV7, I

FL is the summation of the album, the thesis statement, the conclusion of the journey. Harry has endured tests of patience, and accepted that there are things he’ll never know. He’s trying to shake off trepidation (of plunging in the deep end? Of hoping?). He says “My hand’s at risk, I fold.” The poker analogy is an interesting one; Subject (presumably) has gotten past Harry’s poker face, has sussed out his fronts and acts and strategies, and Harry is left bare and exposed, vulnerable before them. He’s been brought to this point, but willingly he folds. He laments that “spreading you open is the only way of knowing you.” We should open up before it’s all too much. Harry is done fighting. He’s also done sleeping in the dirt. For the first time he’s not sugar-coating his words, avoiding their problems via sex and pretense and flowery language. He’s matured enough to admit, “Man, I hate you sometimes.”

Again we have the reappearance of She. Harry says to Subject, “We’ll get the drinks in, so I’ll get to thinking of her.” This She is something between them, within them now, another facet of his and Subject’s relationship. Harry is going to spend time thinking of Her. She, I believe, is a part of him.

A fine line is a balancing act, a tightrope, a suspension between extremes. But Harry calls out into the echo of the music, “We’ll be alright.” A declaration, a hope, a promise. Brass, strings, and a building crescendo, a cacophony of movie-credit-worthy emotion, sweeps us towards closure. Ethereal voices fade out, moving from dominant to tonic, but then a solitary piano plinks on a V chord, twice, hanging in the air, a question, an invitation, a hope.

#fine line #masterpost #musical analysis #HS2 #Harry Styles #lyric interpretation #theories #opinions #Golden #Watermelon Sugar #Adore You #Light Up #Cherry #Falling #To Be So Lonely #She #Sunflower #Canyon Moon #Treat People With Kindness

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