#i think the real problem is that i didn't cook the filling enough so you can still taste the tapioca starch from the roux

[grunge-mermaid]

there is no flavour combination more comfortingly autumnal that apple + bacon + sharp cheddar (bonus points if you add chicken and/or dijon mustard) but apparently mashed potato destroys it

[demonpiratehuntress]

they make you cry

featuring - Zoro x F!Reader, Ace x F!Reader, Kaku x F!Reader, Law x F!Reader, Luffy x F!Reader, Sanji x F!Reader, Usopp x F!Reader

summary - sometimes you just can't handle the things they say/do

warnings - angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

taglist - @kabloswrld

a/n - this took forever to write, and I'm sorry! had to fight my writer's block real hard to get this out ☠️ some of them seem rushed and im sorry about that too!

ZORO

Zoro could be mean, you knew this when you started dating him. He didn't mince his words, nor did he sugarcoat anything. Especially when he was angry, that's when he could be the cruelest. You just never expected to be on the receiving end of that cruelty.

You were just trying to help, honestly. You thought it might be a nice gesture if you wiped his swords clean for him while he napped, and you thought he'd appreciate it. But the moment you dropped them while putting them back and woke him up, it was like something had possessed him.

"What the hell are you doing?" He demanded, sitting up and looking at you, his eyes hard.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to clean them for you," you tried explaining yourself, hoping he wouldn't be too angry. Hoping he would calm down and stop looking at you like that.

"Why would you think that?" He scoffed. "I clean them myself, there's no need for you to do it. There's no need for you touch them at all, actually."

"I'm sorry," you apologised again, shrinking away and feeling hurt by his tone already.

"Just don't do it again," he snapped, "You don't know anything about swords. It wouldn't be such a problem if you were more like me and less like you."

"Less like me?" The tears filled your eyes before you could stop them. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing, just go away and let me nap."

And go away you did. You left his room with your eyes almost overflowing, hand covering your mouth to stifle the sob that was about to come out. You didn't understand what brought that on, why he had been so mean to you.

"(Name), wait-"

You ran off the moment his door opened again, trying to put as much distance between him and yourself as possible. You were hurt, so incredibly hurt, that you barely made it to your room before you broke down in tears, burying your face in your hands. You tried to calm down, you did, but his unprovoked verbal attack struck you right where it hurt the most, your heart. You didn't understand what he meant by "less like you", and you didn't think you wanted to. It was insult enough already.

A knock on your door startled you, and you quickly wiped your face to try and get rid of the tears but your eyes were still red and puffy. Which was immediately noticed by the swordsman when you opened the door, and he frowned.

"Were you crying?"

"What do you want?" You asked him, sniffing. "Did you come to insult me more? Maybe tell me again to stay away from your precious swords? Save it."

"I'm sorry," he interjected, taking you by surprise. He shifted nervously, not really knowing how to apologise but wanting to try because you meant more to him than he could ever say and he hated that he'd hurt you.

"Is that it?" You scoffed, about to close the door.

"No, no wait!" He stopped you, swallowing thickly and looking at the floor. "You know I'm not good with apologies. But I mean it when I say I'm sorry for what I said. You were just trying to do something nice for me and I snapped at you because I was in a mood. The stupid cook annoyed me earlier and I...didn't mean to take it out on you."

You crossed your arms, trying to look mad but you only looked sad and it tugged at Zoro's heartstrings, "Okay."

His expression softened, and when you allowed him he pulled you into his arms and hugged you, trying to show how sorry he was through his actions since he couldn't say it. He rubbed your back soothingly, pressing a gentle and apologetic kiss to the top of your head.

"But if you speak to me like that again, I'm throwing your swords into the ocean."

He chuckled, "Deal."

He spent the next few days making it up to you in various ways, either buying you a special gift from any island you stopped by, or hugging/cuddling you a little longer than usual, or teaching you some moves with his swords to prove he trusted you with them. Eventually, when his overbearing affection started worrying the crew, you had to forgive him.

ACE

The crew was celebrating a big win. Stopping by a nearby island, majority of the crewmembers could be found in bars and taverns, drinking their weight in alcohol. You were amongst them, not drinking as much but joining the merriment regardless. You smiled at the antics of your crewmates, who were trying to drunkenly flirt with woman around the room.

Your smile vanished the moment your eyes settled on your boyfriend, who was busy entertaining a crowd of younger women with the tale of your victory.

Now normally that isn't a cause for upset with you, but he tended to get a little overfriendly and even though you've spoken to him about it many, many times, he hasn't made an effort to stop his flirting - even if he didn't see it as flirting, those women certainly did. And that was the problem, he always let them think that and allowed them to get handsy with him.

You rolled your eyes, downing your drink so you could get out of here. When you lowered your pint again, the sight of one of their hands on his arm made you sick. Usually you would get angry and storm over there and break up the party, but today the sight brought tears to your eyes. It hurt you that he always did this, even when you'd asked him not to.

"(Name), where you going?" One of your crewmates asked you when they noticed you getting up. "It's still early!"

You forced a smile, trying to hide your glassy eyes, "I, uh-"

"(Name)!" Ace called you cheerfully, waving you over, "Come here!"

You frowned, then shook your head before turning and leaving the bar, letting the tears fall now that you were out of sight from the rest of the crew. Your vision blurred on the way back to the ship, but you somehow managed to get there without hurting yourself and broke down into quiet sobs as you sat on your bed and buried your face in your hands.

Sometimes it felt like you weren't enough for him, whether it was physically or emotionally. He could make you feel like the worst lover sometimes, like you couldn't give him what he wanted, even if he didn't mean to. You knew he had commitment issues, but you thought your relationship was getting more serious at this point.

"(Name)!" Ace burst into the room, looking worried. "Hey, why did you leave?"

You didn't answer, turning away from him and curling up into a foetal position facing the wall your bed was placed against. You couldn't look at him right now, not when the tears wouldn't stop.

"Baby?" He called again, the bed dipping beside you to indicate that he had sat down. "I know you're not asleep."

He reached out and gently touched your shoulder, urging you to turn around and face him. You sighed and shifted around, looking at him with a tear-stained face. His eyes instantly went wide and he flew into a panic.

"What happened? Did someone do something to you?"

"Ugh, stop it," you groaned, sitting up. "Don't pretend to care about me when you constantly do what I tell you hurts my feelings." Just mentioning it again brought the tears back, and you cursed.

He frowned when you said this, "But I wasn't flirting with them."

You gave him an exasperated look, "Do you ever realise that they consider it flirting? That they try to seduce you with all their little touches and stupid flirty smiles? No, you don't." You hastily wiped your eyes, now getting angry.

"I'm sorry-"

"No, Ace. You do this all the time. And it really, really hurts."

His expression softened, and he grabbed you and pulled you onto his lap with ease. No matter how mad you were at him, your body never fought his touch or embrace.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled into your hair. "I didn't realise they were trying to do that. I was so caught up in telling the story, especially the part where you took out all of those pirates, that I didn't see they weren't really interested. I'm sorry I'm so stupid."

The sincerity in his voice eased your mood, and you slowly stopped crying and pulled away to look at him, "Next time just ask me to come sit with you."

"I'll do better than that baby, I'll put you on my lap."

"You know that doesn't end well."

"On the contrary-"

You sighed and shook your head, unable to help the smile that formed on your lips. He really was an idiot, but he was your idiot and even if he did stupid things a lot of the time, you loved him very much.

KAKU

You and Kaku hardly ever fought, because he was a very patient and very reasonable man. He never gave you any reason to be upset with him, because while he was a ruthless assassin, to you he was an absolute sweetheart. The only problem was that he sometimes left for long missions, and you were left worrying about him at home and not knowing what was going on because he was deep undercover that he couldn't even contact you.

Like now, where he was working undercover as a foreman in Water 7. You had asked him once again if you could come with, seeing as neither of you knew how long he'd be away this time. But he refused, gently reminding you that he didn't want to put you in any danger and that your house - so far off the grid absolutely no one knew about it - was the safest place for you. You had no other option but to agree.

After many, many months spent worrying about him and struggling to sleep not knowing what's going on, your boyfriend stumbled in through the front door one night absolutely destroyed. You'd come down with one of his swords in hand - one that he kept around the house for you - only to stop dead at the sight of Kaku standing there. Actually, standing was generous. He was barely keeping himself off the ground, tall frame hunched over and trembling.

"Oh my god, Kaku!" You dropped the blade and rushed to his side, laying one of his arms around your shoulders so you could at least help him to the couch. "What the hell happened?"

"It's a long story," he groaned, laying his head over the back of the couch and closing his eyes. "Short version - the Straw Hats."

You frowned at his brief response, going to fetch your first aid kit - you'd learned after the first few times he came home that you'd need one - and bringing it back to him.

"I think I deserve an explanation," you pressed, sitting beside him and starting to tend to his more obvious wounds. "You owe me that much."

"I don't want to talk about it," he grumbled. "I'm sorry."

You didn't respond, and he cracked an eye open to see why. When he noticed how your eyes had become glassy and your bottom lip was trembling but you were biting it hard to stop it, his expression softened.

"Oh, honey."

He gently took the first aid from you and set it aside before bringing you into his arms, wrapping them around you securely. He pressed gentle kisses to the top of your head, ignoring the pain as he held you against his chest.

"I'm sorry."

"This is the worst I've ever seen you," you managed to get out, your voice small and hurt. "I had no contact with you for the longest time since you started working for them, and then you come back looking like this..." You couldn't help it, the tears just kept falling no matter how hard you tried to stop them.

He held you tighter, then moved one hand up to wipe your tears away, "But I came back, didn't I? I'm here."

You knew he was trying to reassure you, but it was difficult to be reassured when he constantly did this to you. You looked at him sceptically.

"Why would I ever risk dying?" He questioned softly, cupping your cheek in his large hand. "I have you to come home to, I don't put myself in a situation I don't think I can come out of." He kissed the tip of your nose, to make you smile like it always did. "Besides, did you ever think that maybe I like having you play nurse for me?"

You managed a small smile, warmed by his words, "Oh you do, huh?"

"Mhm."

"I guess I can forgive you. On one condition."

"Anything, honey."

"I'm coming with you on your next assignment."

"...I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Nope."

He sighed, but planted a loving kiss on your forehead, "If it will ease your mind, then okay. But you have to let me make sure your cover is safe too."

"Deal."

LAW

Law was a very complicated man, with a lot of baggage and trauma he liked to keep away from everyone else. He was reclusive, and he never quite expressed his emotions as healthily as he should. Most days you did your best to understand, to step back and be the more rational one. But sometimes his actions don't make sense, and he ends up hurting you a lot more than he thinks - or notices.

Take the last few days, for example. You two had grown quite close over the course of your relationship and he was now quite comfortable with you and showing you affection - although still privately. But ever since you'd met the Straw Hat crew and he'd been introduced to their smartest member, Robin, he'd been a lot more distant and a lot less affectionate. Like he was beginning to forget you existed.

You started to feel insecure about not being as intelligent as her and not having anything in common with your boyfriend. You'd never liked books, they paled in comparison to the adventures you embarked on on a daily basis. But now it had come back to haunt you, and in the worst way possible.

"Law, do you want to-"

"Not now, (Name)-ya," he didn't even look up from his work. "I'm just finishing some notes on something that Robin asked for."

"Oh, okay. Let me know when you're-"

"I will be heading to their ship shortly, she has a collection of books I would like to study."

"...Right. Okay."

You blinked back tears, knowing he would just get irritated with your emotional display. Turning away from him, you left the room to go get some air and maybe feel sorry for yourself. It did hurt, him immediately dismissing you for another woman, even if it wasn't romantic. He was spending less time with you, and more time with her.

"(Name)!"

Your face lit up, thinking Law had finally come to his senses. But when you turned around, you saw him making his way to the Thousand Sunny while Bepo was the one who had called out to you. And then you couldn't hold it back anymore; you burst into tears.

You usually didn't cry like this. You were good at keeping your emotions in check. It was a side-effect of being around the stoic captain so much - you'd learned how to control your own emotions. But right now, it was too much to bear and your insecurities and fears came crashing down around you, drowning you in sorrow.

"What's wrong??" Bepo asked worriedly, immediately pulling you into a hug. "Did something happen?"

"No," you hiccupped, "I mean, yes, but it doesn't matter."

Your eyes drifted to the deck of the Sunny, where Law was engaged in what looked like a meaningful conversation with the female devil fruit user. Sighing, you tried your best to wipe your eyes and gently pushed Bepo away.

"I'm okay, I just...I need to be alone."

As you walked off, Bepo followed your gaze and spotted the issue. He frowned, having also noticed that his captain had recently been preferring Robin's company over his own girlfriend.

"Captain!" The bear called, rushing over to Law and Robin.

"Not now, Bepo," Law dismissed him, returning his attention to the raven-haired woman.

"But something is wrong with (Name)!" Bepo protested, whoch was a half-lie, half-truth. There was something wrong, but it wasn't with you. He just knew Law wouldn't follow him back otherwise.

"What?" Law instantly felt worry start to fill him. "Where is she?"

"I don't know, I saw her just now, crying, and then she ran off."

Law frowned. He didn't like it when you cried. Not because it was irritating, but because he always got this weird, ugly feeling when you did. You should never have to cry, you should never have to feel pain. Instantly, he goes back to the Polar Tang but not to look for you. He just simply uses his devil fruit to get you back into his room, and when he does he feels guilty by the sight.

Your eyes are red and puffy and you're sniffing like you're sick, but you're not sick. You're avoiding his gaze and casting your eyes downward to the floor, unable to look at him. And you're hugging yourself.

"(Name)-ya," he calls, hoping to get you to look at him.

"I thought you were with Robin," you tell him quietly, the hurt evident in your small, vulnerable voice.

He frowns, "I was, but-"

"Then we don't need to talk about anything," you cut him off. "I'm fine, go bacl to your conversation." You can't help being a bit snippy, tired of crying and even more so of being sad.

"You have been crying," he argued, "That is my concern."

"Oh really?" You suddenly glared at him. "I didn't think you'd notice. But you didn't, did you? Bepo had to tell you, because you were so engrossed in your new girlfriend!" You scoffed, rubbing your face and getting up. "Leave me alone."

"No," Law blocked your path out of the room. "I want to talk about this. And...I want to apologise for hurting you." He paused awkwardly, never good with apologies. "I didn't mean to spend so much time with her and neglect you, I promise. I just kept losing track of time, and I got a little bit eager that someone else was interested in some of the same things I am."

"Yeah, I know," you mumbled, "I'm sorry I'm not that person. I'm sorry I'm not your ideal girlfriend." The tears started falling again, and the ache returned to Law's chest.

"That's not what I meant," he moved closer, "You are perfect just the way you are. I don't want you to be like me, I don't think I could date someone like me. I often wonder how you do it."

Your eyes widen at the vulnerable revelation, and that leads you to start listening to his sincere words and slowly calm down.

"If I neglect you like that again, please just tell me," he pleaded, taking your hands in his. "Don't suffer in silence, I don't like seeing how it's affected you. And I don't like being the reason you cry. So please, just talk to me when I hurt you. Pull me away from any conversation, throw my books, whatever. Just make sure I listen."

"Okay," you slowly smiled, nodding. "But you can't yell at me if I do."

He sighed, but felt relieved that he was forgiven, "I won't."

"Great. Now you owe me a lot of cuddles and even more kisses," you pout. "And double the amount of hugs."

"Done, done and done," he murmured as he leaned down to kiss you sweetly and gently.

LUFFY

If Luffy hasn't upset you in some way, you'd be suspicious. His carefree nature was bound to anger or frustrate you in some way or the other, and his tendency to overexert himself in fights often ended with you concerned for his health in general. He's never made you cry, because if there's one thing Luffy can do well it's keep his promises.

Until he meets Boa Hancock.

And you get it. She's gorgeous, she's powerful, she's a queen. She's everything a woman should be, and you can't help but feel envious of the attention she gets from men. Luffy doesn't really care for her looks, which is a little comforting, however she found the way to his heart and every time you guys met her on the ocean she had the nerve to throw him a huge feast. And your beloved, naive boyfriend always thought she was just being nice and gorged himself on her food, missing the way she looked at him longingly and not understanding her flirtatious advances.

But you understood them very well.

But as mentioned before, she's a powerful person. Not just because she's a devil fruit user, but also because she's a Warlord. You knew you couldn't piss her off in any way, for the safety of the crew, but she had no such qualms. It seemed she knew that you hated how much she attended to Luffy, she knew how much you hated her advances and how Luffy always ate whatever she offered. And she abused her title, doing it on purpose because she knew there was nothing you could do.

Most of the time it was just frustrating beyond comparison. But slowly it ate away at you, and one particular meeting had you excusing yourself in an attempt to escape what seemed like a suffocating situation.

Boa was once again on your ship - it seemed like she purposely sought it out just to see your boyfriend, and she probably did. Luffy was enjoying yet another one of her feasts, and she was sat right beside him. Touching his arm and saying sweet things to him like he didn't already have a girlfriend. Batting her eyelashes at him and offering him sweet smiles that would knock the socks off any man other than Luffy. Once again, he didn't seem to notice how uncomfortable it made you, and you felt your eyes brim with tears.

Maybe he did notice and just didn't mind. Maybe he did notice and actually enjoyed her attention like everyone else did. Maybe you had him all wrong in this particular situation. He had spent a long time with her on her island, after all.

"Excuse me," you mumble to no one in particular, rising from your seat and swiftly exiting the room. It was like you couldn't breathe, your throat burning as the tears started falling faster and faster, until you could barely see.

You were sure he hasn't even noticed you were gone. He probably hadn't even seen you leave. And that thought had you clinging to your pillow harder as you screamed into it, hot angry tears rolling down your cheeks in unstoppable waves. You were so hurt and upset that you didn't notice your room door swing open and a certain captain barge in.

"(Name)?" Luffy called, sounding confused. "Are you okay?"

You felt your body bounce a little as the overeager captain jumped onto your bed, but in your stubbornness you refused to look at him and turned away instead.

"Go away, Luffy."

Luffy was not used to hearing those words from you. Nor was he used to hearing the sadness in your voice, the way it cracked halfway, and the miserable sniff that came afterwards. He was not used to seeing you like this, so sad.

"What's wrong?" He tugged on your shoulder, trying to get you to turn back around to face him. "Are you sick? Is your stomach sore?"

"No, Luffy!" You sat up and yelled in exasperation. "I'm tired! I'm so, so tired okay!" You rubbed your face and curled up, thighs pressed tightly to your chest. "I'm tired of my boyfriend letting some other woman fawn over him with no boundaries. I'm tired of watching my boyfriend be sweet-talked and flirted with by some other woman. And I can't do anything, because she's a Warlord!"

Luffy's eyes went wide, and then he burst out laughing, "Are you worried about Hammock?" The incorrect name almost had you smiling, but you managed to keep your face stoic. "(Name), I only want you. You know that right?"

"Yes," you sighed, "And I trust you, Luffy. It's just...you never stop her and sometimes it makes me feel like I'm not enough. Like she does more for you than I ever could." Your gaze fell. "Sometimes I think you actually like her."

Suddenly his arms were around you and he was squeezing you in the tightest hug he'd ever given.

"I don't like anyone the way I like you, (Name)," he promised. "ANd I never will. You are the only person who makes me feel like this, and you do enough for me already. You cook for me! I bet Hammock doesn't even make the food herself. If it came to choosing you or her, it would always be you."

Your cheeks burned when he said that, and slowly a smile formed on your lips, "That's really sweet, Luffy. Thank you. I needed to hear that."

He nuzzled his face against yours affectionately, "I will remind you as many times as you want!"

SANJI

Sanji's most annoying habit tended to irritate you majority of the time, and every instance ended with you practically fuming and storming off after telling him off angrily. He would normally appease you with something sweet, or your favourite dish. In some extreme cases, both. But you never stayed mad at him, because he made it impossible for you to do so. You just never expected that one day the hurt would become too much for you to handle, and you'd react with sadness rather than fury.

The crew had been given the day off to explore another island. Everyone had split to do their own things, but the cook insisted on accompanying you because it was one of the rare times he got to spend alone with you for an entire day. So the two of you strolled through the vibrant town, enjoying the atmosphere and each other's presence.

That is, until Sanji forgot about your warning to not flirt with anyone on this island. He deemed it just being a gentleman, but you knew better than that.

When you caught him staring as your words faltered, you expected the usual bout of anger to flare within you. You were ready to tell him off again, a dozen insults coming to mind for that woman, when you felt a sharp pang in your chest instead. Your words caught in your throat, and a sorrow like nothing you'd ever experienced filled you.

Had he been staring the entire time you were talking to him? To make matters worse, he seemed to forget you were speaking and drifted over to the lady to compliment her dress.

You felt humiliated. No one here actually knew you two, but it was embarrassing that you couldn't even keep your lover's attention on you. Your cheeks burned, your throat along with them, and your eyes brimmed with tears. It was made worse when you glanced around at all the other couples, and found them happily clinging to each other and acting like they were the only two people in the world.

"What do you think, mon cherié?" Sanji's voice suddenly filled your ears. "Do you like it?"

You hastily wiped your eyes, trying to look like you did before, "Um, like what? Sorry, I wasn't listening..."

He didn't seem to notice the sadness in your tone or the forlorn expression on your face, he just barrelled on, "This pretty young woman's dress, what do you think of it?"

"A-are you serious?" You choked out, feeling the burning in your throat get worse.

"Yes! Doesn't it look nice?"

You couldn't take it anymore. You were hyperventilating at this point. Scared of being embarrassed further with your impending sobbing, you turned and sprinted as fast as you could away from the scene. He called after you, but you weren't listening.

He arrived at the ship at the same time you did, leaving you confused. You were about to push past him when he grabbed your waist, stopping you.

"Wait, my love, I'm sorry," he apologised, "Don't cry, please."

You smacked his hand away from your face, "No, don't. If you were really sorry, you'd stop flirting with every woman you see like I told you to! But no, you keep doing it." Your eyes watered again. "Do you have any idea what it's like? Seeing your own lover interested in someone else, not even listening to you?"

Sanji was speechless. He had no idea it affectef you this much, but he blamed himself for going on with it even when you told him not to.

"How would you feel if I flirted with every guy I saw?" You demanded.

"Oh no, please don't," he begged, heart sinking at the thought.

"But it's okay for you to do it?" You looked away, and his heart broke.

"I'm sorry," he apologised again, "I am, really. But I wasn't flirting with her, I promise! I was just asking where she got that dress because it looked so nice and I thought it would look good on you..."

Your eyes widened when you heard this, "Wait, what? Is that why you asked if I liked it?"

"Mhm," he smiled, "I wanted to get it for you if you did."

You were the speechless one now. All that time he had been thinking of you, and you'd gone and assumed the worst. Now you felt even more embarrassed, but for a totally different reason.

"Sanji, I-"

"No need to apologise, love," he immediately hugged you when it seemed like it was okay for him to. "I haven't exactly given you reasons to trust me not to flirt. But I promise, I am doing my best to not do it. I don't want to lose you."

He really was too cute to stay mad at, or even to stay sad about, and you ended up smiling and leaning in to kiss him.

"Fine, but do it again and I'm going to leave you for Zoro."

His face paled, "No no, mon cheriè, you can't be serious! Love, wait! Are you serious??" And he followed you to your room, begging you to tell him you were lying.

USOPP

You were well aware that Usopp had had a romantic interest in a girl long before he met you. He would never tell you about her, but Nami and Luffy told you about her and what they knew about her relationship with Usopp. As far as you could tell, they had never done anything more than kiss once.

You felt like you were getting in the way of their relationship, and most days that thought just put you into an emotionless daze. You felt like you couldn't compare, because she seemed to be his first love. And as bad as this sounds, you started to feel like you were a relationship of convenience to him. Someone to keep him company while he longed for another.

"You know that's not true," Nami would reassure you when you confided in her. "He's not like that. He really loves you."

"I can tell he thinks about her sometimes," you argue, "And we don't know whether or not he imagines her in my place when we kiss or do anything remotely romantic. Who's to say he wouldn't go back to her if we somehow made it back to the East Blue?"

Nami couldn't give you the answer to that, and it hurt all the more. You tried not to let it get to you, you really did, but some days were worse than others. Some days you felt inferior, like you were not as pretty as she was, even though you'd never seen her. If he was so crazy about her to still be thinking about her months after he'd met you, he surely still loved her, right?

"Usopp, I have a question," Nami asked the sharpshooter one day.

"Uhhhh, no I did not borrow any money from you..." He replied nervously, eyes darting around the room.

The navigator's eyes narrowed, "We'll get to that later. Anyway, if we went back to the East Blue, what would you do? Would you want to rekindle your relationship with Kaya?"

Usopp's face paled, "What kind of question is that?!"

"Just answer!"

"I...I don't know!" He cried, then attempted to flee only to see you standing in the doorway, your eyes glistening. "(Name)-"

"I get it," you swallowed thickly, "She was your first love. I just wish you'd stop pretending like this relationship means anything to you." You turned and retreated to your room, locking the door and falling down against it, tears flowing freely.

You knew it was unfair. You knew he'd known her his whole life and you just a year. But you kind of hoped that since you'd actually developed what you thought was a meaningful, deep romantic relationship with him, he wouldn't have to think about it. You kind of hoped he would just choose you, simple as that. And you know it was unfair to him, and selfish of you. But you couldn't help it.

"(Name)!" The sharpshooter knocked on your door. "Please let me in!" He sounded panicked, like he did before you all went into a fight.

"Go away, Usopp," you yelled, but the pain in your voice was too clear for him to ignore.

Normally he would give up. He does that very easily. But when it comes to you he doesn't stop, and he never will. He hates leaving you on your own, especially when you're upset and even more so when he's the reason you're upset.

"Please, baby," he pleaded, "Let me explain! I never said I would! Please, just open up. Let's talk about this!"

"You can say what you want through the door," you told him, "Otherwise we don't talk at all." And yes, again this was unfair to him, but again you couldn't help it.

"I know what you must be thinking," he immediately started, "And you're wrong. Yes I used to love Kaya, and yes we almost had a relationship, but that was clearly not meant to be. Because I met you, and I fell in love with you, and I can't imagine loving anyone else now that I know what it feels like to love you." He paused for a moment, thinking of what else to say, and then, "You're the love of my life now, and I know that it will stay that way even if we were to somehow end up back in the East Blue. You are my girlfriend now, and I only ever want or think about you. Please believe me, it'll only ever be you."

Hearing all of this slowly calmed you down, and you didn't even notice when the tears stopped. His sincere, loving words hit you right where you needed them the most, and you stood up to open the door.

"You mean all that?"

"Yes," he looked like he was on the verge of tears himself. "Please don't break up with me."

"Oh, Usopp," you laughed and wiped your eyes, "I could never do that. Especially not after such sweet words. You're stuck with me."

"And hopefully always will be," he added, immediately hugging you and almost crushing your bones. "I'm so sorry (Name), I'm sorry I made you cry!" And then he actually started crying.

"Usopp..."

[anakinstwinklebunny]

HI HELLO scooter barringer anon here

i meant just regular scott 😭 imbjust bad at typing

Author's note: it's okay Nonnie 😭😭 although I didn't feel like writing smut headcanons cause we need more pureness and fluffiness in our life 🙂‍↕️

SCOTT BARRINGER who's the definition of tortured golden boy. On the outside, he’s that easily cool, confident guy, but underneath, he’s filled with guilt and self-doubt. He hides behind charm and a cocky grin, but his heart? Oh, it’s soft and aching for someone to truly see and love him.

SCOTT BARRINGER who is the kind of guy to tease you endlessly but gets adorably flustered the moment you actually flirt back.

SCOTT BARRINGER who falls hard and fast, even if he’s scared to admit it. He always tries to keep some walls up, but one soft look from you? They’re crumbling faster than he can stop it. He'd also the one to often checks your social media, hoping to see more photos of your pretty face without filters

SCOTT BARRINGER who worships you in his own way--fixing your things when you ask so nicely, remembering the little things you say in passing, and showing up when you need him most, even if it’s 3 a.m.

SCOTT BARRINGER who's not really great with words, but his actions scream «I love you». Like when he lingers a second longer after kissing your forehead or when he pulls you closer in his sleep, mumbling your name in this drowsy tone. Holding your hand whenever you walk beside him

SCOTT BARRINGER who's love language is music

SCOTT BARRINGER who has a playlist for every mood, and whether he admits it or not, you’re the inspiration behind most of his song choices.

SCOTT BARRINGER who would play guitar for you, but only when he’s feeling like doing that (ofc). Mostly at night and mostly the songs are your favorite

SCOTT BARRINGER who's struggling sometimes with feeling like he’s enough for you. He’s terrified his mistakes will scare you away, but he tries so damn hard to be better for you every damn day.

SCOTT BARRINGER who, when he’s upset, retracts, but the second you're by his side, trying to actually cheer him on/help him, he’s immediately letting you hold him while he mumbles what's sitting on his chest or sometimes just being quiet while you run your fingers through his hair or press kisses to his entire face

SCOTT BARRINGER who loves holding your face when he kisses you, thumbs brushing over your cheekbones as his lips move slowly, devastatingly

SCOTT BARRINGER who's surprisingly good at cooking/making breakfast. You’ll wake up to him in the kitchen, in his shirt, making pancakes with music playing softly in the background. He'd even let you feed him off your fork, if you're lucky this day

SCOTT BARRINGER who loves cuddles (secretly). He’ll pretend he’s too cool for it, that it's not really for him but the way he pulls you into his chest at night when he thinks you're asleep says otherwise.

SCOTT BARRINGER who also loves when you play with his short hair

SCOTT BARRINGER who's protective to a fault. Anyone so much as looks at you wrong, and Scott’s stepping in, jaw tight and voice sharp, serious. «You have any problem?»

SCOTT BARRINGER who is all about love that’s soft, messy, and achingly real :((

TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @divineani @haydensprettyprincess @skyguys-princess @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @jediavengers @literally-izzy @anisluvrgirl @slutforfinnickodair @xhunnybeeex @fuckmyskywalker @gallerygourmet @deceptiive @ysrjune @anakinskwkler @bimbo-baggins17 @cookybananas @emotionallybruisedx @diorvalentina @sevinax @throughparisallthroughrome @aniiuv @ritosparty @ninastyless @lily-strnlo @thesassypadawan @awhhayden @sydkneez @anisangeldust @l1ttle-misssunsh1ne @anakinca

[boltwrites]

NEED to know what happens when logan meets your parents for the first time - does he flirt w/ your mom? What do they think about the age gap? Does your dad like him or is he all "nobody's good enough for my princess😤" do they know you're mutants? Giving you full creative freedom to do as you please just give it to me 😭😭

A/N: ok, so since you've given me creative freedom, we have: 20s-ish mutant fem!reader who teaches at the mansion on 10005, old man worst wolverine!logan, the two of you met after the events of dp3 and the relationship progressed from there.

also. this shit has been giving me so many problems. i was really trying to write typical white-picket fence, suburban sitcom-style parents, but honestly? i don't know dick about those type of parents. so you get these assholes instead.

this may actually be one of the worst things i've ever written. i might add a part two at some point, but really i just think this is horrible and want it out of my sight lmao. so here you go.

Your palms were sweaty, your heart racing, as you reached for the doorknob to your childhood home, Logan standing to your side. The last time you'd brought a boy home (and he had been a boy) things hadn't ended well.

Your dad was a traditionalist, you see, and your mom - well, she wasn't one to judge your choices, but you could tell that sometimes when you told her about your love interests, she was holding in laughter. But your dad - he was very vocal about the expectations he had for your partners. He'd never treated you like some kind of princess or prize - oh no. he was a man who saw his children as students of his own knowledge. No matter what your gender, he had taught you how to trim a tree, change a tire, wire a light switch, cook a filling meal - the basics of owning a home and keeping it put together.

Because of that, your parents hadn't often approved of your previous boyfriends. In high school, you'd been too frightened to bring them home. You'd only attended a traditional public school for your freshman year, and the rest of your time spent at Xavier's you'd been far too worried about your dates accidentally exposing themselves as mutants to justify introducing them to your parents. They weren't anti-mutant, per-say... but they certainly weren't supportive, and you didn't want to put even your prom date through that.

As you grew older (graduated college, was hired on as a teacher at the mansion instead of a simple student), you came to understand the reasons why your parents were so discerning as to your choice in men. Your mother's stoic judgment wasn't meant to be mean - she just wanted you to choose a man for more than just superficial attraction, to think of the bigger picture. Which, you'd been blissfully unaware of, as a teen. Your father's traditionalism wasn't rooted in outdated gender norms - it was simply connected to the fact that he wanted your partner to be able to support both you and your household in a significant way. That's why he was always harping on picking a "real man" - not some newfound conservative bullshit, but the simple understanding that sometimes men tried to do the bare minimum, and that he knew you deserved so much more.

And Logan, well. He could certainly support you. He was unlike any man you'd ever dated. He didn't have any social media you had to worry about - no feed or "for you" page filled with scantily clad women and sexist messaging disguised as finance advice - only a stupid flip phone he refused to text you on. He was helpful, attentive, affectionate - even despite the trauma you'd both experienced as mutants. You understood that his struggled has affected him far more than your had, that he still needed to heal - and even though that strained your relationship at times, you knew he cared, knew he tried - so you fought for it. That was something you couldn't say about your previous boyfriends.

Plus, you knew he could handle your weirdass parents.

"Nervous?" He'd asked you, when you asked him if he wanted to meet your parents. You'd given him a side-eyed look as you posed the concept, like you were giving him an out to decline.

"I mean, kind of?" You responded, hesitant. All he did was chuckle, smirking at you.

"What, am I gonna pull up to your dad cleaning his shotgun in the garage?"

"Honestly? Maybe, but that's not what I'm worried about," you admitted, fidgeting. "It's... it's hard to explain. I guess the closest thing is that they're - funny? Like - they'll make fun of you. My dad - he makes all of these horrible inappropriate jokes, like, all the time, and my mom is just really sarcastic, and she seems super judgmental because of it, but really, she's just being funny."

Logan just looked at you, one eyebrow raised. "

What?" You asked. You'd expected more from him. But he just snorted.

"Babe, I've been stuck in the void with Wade-fucking-Wilson. I'm not scared of your parents."

So, you took a breath, offered Logan one last "brace yourself-" and pushed open the door. Immediately you were met with the smell of something cooking - you recognized it immediately as one of your dad's signature dishes, sizzling on the stove.

"Hey, we're here!" You called out, you tried to usher Logan in and up the stairs of your split-level, but he insisted on closing the door behind you - and the shitty screen door that had been around since before you were born made a horrible shaking, scraping metal sound as it bounced along the concrete of your porch. Ah, the sound of home.

"Hey, you!" Your dad called, poking his head out of the kitchen. "What're you- hey, ho! Who's this?" He gestured to Logan with the spatula in his hand, and your face immediately reddened.

"Dad, this is Logan."

"Hey," Logan nodded in greeting, and your dad made a little shocked noise.

"Logan? Who's Logan?"

"Jesus Christ-" you huffed it under your breath, and Logan tried to stifle a chuckle. "He's my boyfriend, remember?"

"Boyfriend?" Your dad's voice pitched higher. "That motherfucker looks older than me!"

Well. There was your dad getting right to the point, as per usual.

"I am," Logan replied, and you fucking elbowed him in the ribs.

"No mutant shit - they don't know," you hissed a reminder, and he rolled his eyes.

"Hey - you see this guy, Nikki?" Your dad called to the dining room.

Your mom sighed - unlike your dad, she had some kind of decorum, and had the decency to shoot him daggers before she met you and Logan at the top of the steps.

"It's nice to meet you, Logan," she greeted him - you could tell that she was fighting the all consuming urge to shoot you a look or make a joke about this whole thing. She was trying so hard. It was like that scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit with the shave and a haircut song.

"Would you like something to drink?" she asked. "Since you're clearly old enough-"

It was like some demon forced her to spit out that line. You snorted, had to shake your head. This was a mistake.

"What do you have?" Logan asked instead, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, smirking at the whole situation. It was like he lived to see you embarrassed.

"Water, coke, iced tea -" she listed off.

"My dad's shitty beer," you added, and Logan's brow raised.

"Hey! Busch is good beer!"

"No the fuck it is not," you replied, because he didn't even drink the light stuff.

"I don't care, I'll take the beer," Logan cut in, and your dad wagged a finger at him.

"Yeah! I'll get you one - it's good shit, man. Somebody watch the stove."

Oh good lord. There he goes. Logan shot you a look - lip quirked into a little smile, before your dad clapped him on the shoulder and hauled him towards the stairs.

That just left you. And your mom.

She looked at you. You looked at her.

"Well?" you asked, stepping up to take your dad's place at the stove to watch the food. Your mom shrugged in response.

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you going to ask me about him - make some weird comment about his age? I mean - now would be the time," you hedged. You just hated this weird aura surrounding you all. How it felt like she had so many questions to ask, but was holding them all back.

"Obviously I can tell he's old," your mom replied. "It's not really a discussion. Is there something we do need to talk about?"

You knew what she meant. Were you safe with him? Were you happy? Did you bring him here to meet them because you needed help, not because you wanted to share your happiness with them?

Some people might find that sort of implication unthinkable, or rude to address - but you knew your mom. She watched a lot of true crime. She just cared about you.

"No," you replied, with a sigh. "I-I really like him. He's a good man. He actually - he knows how to be a man, if you know what I mean. How to take care of himself. I don't know - I didn't realize how important that was until I met him."

You mom nodded. Her arms were crossed, and she wore her typical resting bitch face, but you could tell she understood what you meant.

"Well. Hopefully your father doesn't shoot him."

[my-great-big-book-of-fan-fiction]

Gojo satoru x F!reader fic in which you and Megumi interact after his "adoption"

You guys I know Gojo's more like a mentor to Megumi in cannon, but pls pls pls just let me have this, I'll give you good vibes for a week if you do 😭 Also, Satoru is more like a side character in this one, sorry babes.

Warnings: Slight innuendo, some cursing, good feels

The walk home with Gojo was...interesting. No, scratch that. Annoying. Megumi could do nothing but listen to him talk and talk and talk, to the point that he wished he was getting sold to the Zenin clan.

"Man, you're boring for a 1st grader, huh? What are you, like 8?"

"I'm 6."

"Rightttt....most serious 6-year old I've ever met."

coming from him? Megumi liked that. Whoever Gojo found entertaining had to be crazy.

"You know, my usagi-chan is gonna looove to meet you,"

"Usagi-chan?" He stretched out the pet name, a confused and judgmental tone in his voice. What kind of parent names their kid "little bunny"?

Gojo beamed, holding his hand out and counting on his fingers all the things he liked about you. "Oh yeah, She's great! She's smart, and funny, and she's a great cook, and a really strong sorcerer, and..."

Megumi tuned him out. It was bad enough, dealing with this guy, now there were going to be two of you? He dreaded what the rest of his life would look like.

Gojo was still talking as they walked up the final steps to Jujitsu tech, making their way to the dormitories, only shutting up for a moment when he opened the door to Megumi's new room.

You were there, setting a bouquet of carnations in a vase and angling it perfectly on Megumi's new night stand. The second you realized they arrived, you nervously turned around and smiled sweetly. "Hi! You must be Toj- uh, Megumi Fushiguro!"

"Toji's son" sounded a little demeaning to you.

Megumi nodded, seeming to be examining your face, trying to get a read on you. "I'm (y/n), It's great to meet you...I was going to make lunch, but then I realized I don't even know what you like...so how about when you're settled you can tell me what you like and I'll make it for dinner?" So Usagi-chan wasn't your real name...

"Can you even cook," Megumi asked, the first thing he's ever said to you, his little voice mature sounding for a kid his age.

You giggled, his bluntness making you relax a little at how amusing it was. "Well, he thinks I can," you laughed, pointing at Gojo, who has now made his way over to be next to you, "But he thinks I'm good at everything, so how about you try it and find out?"

Megumi hesitantly nodded, satisfied with your answer, and plops his backpack on the ground. He's decided he likes you.

You made pork gyoza for him that night, some of the best gyoza he's ever had, yet to be matched in his mind. As time went on, Megumi came to realize that you and Gojo filled entirely different roles. While Satoru lived in the dorm right next to Megumi's, Megumi saw a lot more of you than him, even though you worked at the Kyoto sister school.

You came over every day, eating dinner with him and shoveling big portions on his plate because he was "a growing boy", helping him with his homework, listening to his problems, attending his elementary and middle school graduations. At first, Gojo really only interacted with him to train every weekend, to bring him up to his level, but as you took a more parental role, so did he.

Of course, neither of you wanted to be called mom or dad, and Megumi didn't want that either, so he just called you by either your names or "sensei" when being educated. That said, you and Satoru always joked with each other about being teen parents, lamenting the fact that you "got the kid without any of the fun." The very implication of you two doing that always made Megumi gag.

Speaking of that, having the talk with him was surprisingly easy for you and Satoru, disgustingly easy in Megumi's 12 year old eyes, and although at the time he never intended on putting the information to use, it was still good to have.

You were always patient with him, staying gentle during his angsty middle school years, and eventually helping him train even more once he entered high school. You even insisted he danced with you at your wedding, stating that you needed "at least one dance with a gentleman."

All of this said, none of the other first years in the Tokyo school even knew of your existence until the good will event. You showed up with your students, The first person you greeted being Maki. Despite being Mai's teacher, Maki loved you. You were just so...bubbly.

"Maki! Ugh, it's been forever since I've seen you," you squeal, bringing her into a tight hug. You greet Toge and Panda respectively, Before rushing over to your now husband and dramatically swooning into his arms. "Oh, Satoru," You sigh, the back of your hand resting delicately on your forehead. "Ah, Usagi-chan, How I've missed you in the time we've been apart," he sighed, holding you by your waist and the nape of your neck. The sight was completely cringe-worthy, but it was funny to you two and that was all that mattered.

The two of you kissed, much to the confusion of Nobara and Yuji. You opened your eyes, peaking at their faces, and quickly sprung out of the arms of your beloved husband.

"You never told me how adorable your first years are," You giggled, taking Itadori's face in your hand and examining it. You didn't release him as you turned back to Gojo, calling out, "This is the vessel, right?" Satoru nodded, saying, "That's him," proudly. Yuji finally spoke up while Nobara laughed at the sight, asking, "Uhhhh...who are you?"

You pulled back, posing a little and responding with, "I'm (Y/n) (L/n), Satoru's wife!" You never took his last name, seeing as just being connected to the Gojo clan made you a bigger target than you already were. Nobara and Itadori's eyes lit up, both of them shouting, "Tell us everything!"

You would have been happy to, but you saw Megumi out of the corner of your eye. "Ah, Megumi!" You zoomed over, hugging him so tightly his bones might crack. "I've been meaning to ask, what do you want for dinners this week?"

Nobara and itadori got even more excited, you being the best source of information on their closed off friend and surprisingly mysterious teacher.

"I don't care..." Megumi sighed, blushing a little at how open you were about all this. "Maybe Gyoza," he muttered.

Ok, you could be a little annoying sometimes, but that's how all mothers caregivers were. He wasn't mad, even when you invited Itadori and Nobara over for dinner after the event, or spilled all of the details (except for the ones not even Megumi knows) about your life with Megumi and Satoru. He was ok with this, albeit a little peeved, because at the end of the day you cared for him in a way he never would have imagined being cared for.

Life didn't turn out to be so bad after all.

I absolutely loved writing this, it's been on my mind for a while now! As always, let me know what you think :)

[shadowmaat]

Palia, a casual mmorpg review

A friend of mine was hyping a new game she was playing: Palia. Mostly she was hyping her attempts to romance one of the NPCs, but enough other details leaked through that I decided to give it a try. And I liked it.

I'm generally not a fan of the mmorpg genre, partly because I hate being social, and mostly because I hate fighting and my reflexes absolutely suck. Palia, thankfully, is more casual/cozy, and while there is a hunting aspect, they're all prey animals that run away. There's no fighting. Thank the gods.

The basic premise of Palia is that humans died out/disappeared a long time ago, leaving the world to the majiri, who have pointy ears and purple skin. There's also the grimalkin, a race of alien felinoids who arrived a few centuries ago and set up shop. And there are galdur, robots who have been around since the Age of Humans.

For Mysterious Reasons one of Palia's deities, the Phoenix, has started dropping humans back into the world, particularly around the remote village of Kilima. That's where the PC comes in.

A lot of Palia is your standard fare (I think). You get to know the NPCs and build relationships with them through talking and gift-giving (which is an actual mechanic of the game). There are quests and loot piles, and a number of skills you're meant to level up in: Hunting, Fishing, Mining, Cooking, Furniture Crafting, Foraging, Bug Catching, and Gardening.

The mainline quest, of course, is trying to figure out what happened to the humans and why you're suddenly reappearing. The list of items needed in order to complete the first part of the quest was... unpleasant, IMO, and involved a lot of epic-level rarity items that take a hell of a lot of time and resources to gather. That, again, is pretty much par for the course with games like this: allll the grinding. I've posted about that before, but thanks to some advice I did finally manage to get everything I needed. My main source of stress on that score is that I am a completionist, so leaving a task unfinished was stressful for me. Hells, it took me a while to accept that I didn't need to finish all tasks/requests immediately, and those are mostly plot irrelevant.

Once you accept that you don't need to do all the things right now ASAP, it's a lot more fun. Even the main quest only recently unveiled part 2, and while it includes some new (and easier, IMO) tasks to complete, it's also more waiting for the "big" update coming in '25, when a new area will be made available. Or I assume that's what's going to happen.

You get to build and decorate a house, which has been more fun than I expected. Tish, in particular, will make expanding your house easier, and you will get hecktons of furniture from loot boxes, from Tish's store, from recipes you can build yourself, and from the Grimalkin underground market.

I've been enjoying playing, even when all my current quests are filled. Even when there's "nothing to do" there's still stuff to do, and selling off all your excess supplies gets you more money for buying more things.

The NPCs are, for the most part, a lot of fun to interact with, even if every single one of them seems to have some tragic backstory. The only character I don't like is Tamala, and I think it's partly calculated that way. She's the witchy "vamp" type character and flirts outrageously with anything that has a pulse. I understand the narrative purposes of characters like that and I know the majority of the time the attitude is manufactured to keep folks at a distance, but I still find her unpleasant, manipulative, and mean-spirited.

The only real issue I have is that some of the longer-term players are clique-y assholes who like to tear into newbies for not following the unspoken rules of the game. Which are, y'know, unspoken.

Most people are very understanding of newbies and have no problem politely explaining the community-developed courtesy of "wait to chop down the magic trees til everyone can get here," but there's a handful who choose to bitch at each other about it and shame folks for chopping "too soon" and thus "ruining" it for everyone else.

Here's the thing: the grove of "magic trees" appears every in-game midnight, and time moves a hell of a lot faster in Palia, so you can get multiple groves in a single day. There is absolutely no reason to act like an inflamed, pustulating asshole just because you couldn't chop one grove. There's no reason to make newbies feel bad for not knowing something, especially when no one fucking tells them.

Thankfully that group is in the minority. I think I've only seen newbie-bashing bitch-fests twice, but that's still two times too many, IMO. Especially for, and I really can't stress this enough, something that isn't an actual rule of the game. If it was a rule, folks wouldn't be able to chop early. I appreciate the courtesy of people waiting for everyone to gather, but acting as if it's some grievous crime is fucking bullshit. Ugh.

Anyway, the game itself is fun. I love nerdy girl Jina and her helicopter mom galdur friend Hekla. Widower Ashura has Big Dad energy. Uptight librarian Caleri and her conspiracy-loving twin Elouisa. Zeki the grimalkin scoundrel with a heart of gold. Tau, the best pupper. Lots of fun and friendly characters, and very little need to interact with other players. You can also block/mute people or just mute the whole server, which is nice.

I'd recommend it, especially for people who like the idea of an open-world RPG thing but are more interested in stories than fighting. You'll get a lot of stories with Palia.

[anyasathenaeum]

YAY YAY YAY ITS OPEN AGAIN! Ok so I really really want a part 2 of Vash and his spouse visiting Lina and Sheryl. Maybe they even have a celebration similar to the one Lina suggested? It was so cute and I really want some more! They're such a cute family!

In The End (Part 2)

A/N: Hiiiiii Anon, omg yes! I'm happy to write this for you, I really loved writing the initial fic so here is a part 2! I absolutely love being able to write Vash being granted some peace and surrounded by lots of love :D

Warnings: Potential spoilers for episode 12 of Trigun Stampede, potential spoilers for episode 18 of Trigun, the author taking liberties

"(Y/N), Eri-I mean, Vash, please tell us everything that's happened since you've both left!"

Grandma Sheryl's movements were much slower than they had been the last time you'd seen her, but the old woman was still as sharp as ever. She sat down in her favourite chair, across from yourself and Vash, over the dinner table where you all had shared many a meal.

"Well..."

You and Vash exchanged glances as you both filled Grandma Sheryl and Lina in on your adventures and everything that had happened in the years since they had seen you last.

"And once it was all over, I finally decided I'd been an idiot for long enough and convinced (Y/N) to marry me," Vash finished with a smile, his loving gaze trained on you.

Despite having been married for some time, you still felt your cheeks redden as you smiled at your husband - you couldn't believe Vash had married you to this day. You might've dreamed of marrying Vash before, but for it to have actually happened amazed and dumbfounded you every day since.

"Didn't take much convincing," You admitted sheepishly as Grandma Sheryl and Lina both cooed over the news of your marriage.

"Oh, dears, that's absolutely wonderful! Lina and I both wondered how long it would take the two of you to see sense and realize you were perfect for one another," Grandma Sheryl exclaimed, smiling knowingly between you and Vash.

Both you and Vash felt your faces turn dark red, and you both realized just how blind the two of you had been for years if even Grandma Sheryl and Lina saw the signs of your feelings for one another.

"I'm just mad the two of you got married and didn't think to invite us! And I can't believe you never told us your real name, Vash!" Lina pouted, glaring at the two of you in turn.

"I had to keep my name secret, Lina, for my own safety. And we didn't invite anybody. We didn't have time. We didn't even have a wedding. It was just (Y/N) and I, the judge who married us and the secretary as a witness," Vash explained, his tone gentle as he spoke to her.

"Well, you'll have your wedding celebration here, then, so Grandma Sheryl and I and other townsfolk can attend!" Lina proclaimed, placing her hands on her hips and grinning widely, "Problem solved, and I might even consider forgiving you both!"

This caused you to burst into laughter. Lina was still as feisty as you remembered her being, if not more so now that she was older.

You could see Vash smiling happily at Lina's suggestion, and as the two of you made eye contact, you came to an unspoken agreement - you would have a celebration that both Lina and Grandma Sheryl could attend. They were the closest thing that you and Vash had to family, and if the two of you could make them happy by letting them celebrate with you, then you were doing it, no questions asked.

"Alright, it's a deal," Vash conceded, pulling Lina into a hug and ruffling her hair playfully, "You better help us plan and set everything up, though!"

Sure enough, Lina was happily involved in preparing your celebration with you and Vash over the next couple days, running around and decorating the house with different coloured streamers and flowers and other beautiful things while Grandma Sheryl cooked food for those coming to celebrate. You did your best to help Grandma Sheryl prepare everything, ensuring the old woman didn't keel over trying to make everything by herself.

Soon, before you knew it, the day of the celebration arrived. You found yourself waking early to the sound of Lina banging on your door, shouting something about how you "had to get ready this instant or you'll be late!". Before you knew it, you were surrounded by familiar people fussing and fiddling with your hair and your clothes and everything, getting you ready for your wedding.

"You guys do know I'm already married, right?" You teased your helpers, and they all laughed but continued their work.

When you looked in the mirror, the creature looking back at you was resplendent - truly, a thing of beauty. It moved when you did, and you couldn't bring yourself to believe that that magnificent creature was you.

"Oh, (Y/N)!" Lina cried, coming up behind you to gaze in the mirror, "You look amazing!"

"Thank you, Lina," You replied, hugging her gently to your side as she embraced you back, "Thank you for all you've done, for celebrating with Vash and I. I love you."

"I love you, too, (Y/N)," Lina answered, burrowing into your arms - despite being more grown up, she seemed so young. "Now, let's go! Or you'll be late!"

Before you could make sense of what was happening, you found yourself outside Grandma Sheryl and Lina's house, walking down a makeshift aisle towards the man who had been your husband for a couple years already.

Vash looked handsome as ever, in a suit that was simple but fit him well regardless. He looked like a demigod among mortals, his blonde hair swept back and his eyes shinning as he looked at you. Vash positively glowed seeing you walk towards him, done up and smiling at him with more love than he'd ever seen. He couldn't stop the tears welling up in his eyes as you approached him, looking like an angel, walking slowly but gracefully.

"Hi," Vash whispered to you, his blue eyes welling with tears of joy. He looked at you as if you hung the stars in the sky, as if you were his everything. Because you were. You were Vash's everything, and he would protect you from all the bad things in the world until the end of his days.

"Hi," You whispered back to him, smiling widely as Vash took your hand in his.

You stood together before the officiant, a kind old man from the town, who asked you both to recite your vows to one another. You and Vash both kept it short and sweet, given you had exchanged your more profound vows the day you'd first gotten married, and sealed your "new" union with a passionate kiss.

You could hear cheering from Lina, Sheryl and other townsfolk as you kissed Vash, and the two of you blushed bright pink as you smiled at the small group of people celebrating with you both.

"I love you, (Y/N)," Vash whispered to you as he kissed the back of your hand, "So, so much."

"I love you, too, Vash," You answered, reaching over to kiss Vash's cheek as the two of you walked back down the makeshift aisle.

The rest of the evening was spent among friends, laughing and drinking and eating, everybody happy to celebrate your and Vash's love for one another. By the end of the evening, you and Vash snuck outside for a moment with each other, just the two of you.

"Well, it seems now, at least by Lina's standards, we are officially married," You spoke softly to your husband, who laughed at your comment, his head resting on your shoulder as he hugged from behind.

"It seems so," Vash agreed, kissing the side of your head gently, "We're now Lina-approved."

"The highest honour," You chuckled, snuggling back into your husband's embrace, "So, what do we do now?"

Vash fell silent as he thought to himself for a couple moments, clearly trying to piece together your next steps.

"We live, (Y/N). You and I, together. We live."

[grassbreads]

im curious, whats your favorite longfic??

Oh my god anon you are enabling me so hard right now. Are we sure you're not some deep splintered section of my subconscious that split off just for the sake of sending me this ask?

Anyway, my favorite fanfiction is a Homestuck fic by oxfordroulette called Vanitas Vanitatum. This mildly pornographic novel-length fantasy au dirkjohn fic is genuinely, independent of actual Homestuck, one of my all time favorite written stories.

Vanitas Vanitatum is the third fic in a long series, but it's technically a standalone. The first fic in the series is a jadekat fantasy road trip adventure, the second one is about jadekat getting dragged into a bunch of mysterious royal intrigue at Jade's arranged marriage to Eridan, and Vanitas Vanitatum is about the aftermath of that intrigue. John Egbert ascends to the throne of their country after the death of his and Jade's evil mother in the previous fic, and he's totally fine guys! He's definitely absolutely having zero mental health troubles!

Dirk, our pov character, enters as a new member of John's secret police. He slowly befriends his new king/boss and, in doing so, begins to discover the extent to which John is totally definitely okay! He's fine Dirk so you can stop asking! And because he's Dirk Strider, when he discovers how John is struggling, he immediately wants to Fix Him. Enter a twisted mess of genuinely falling in love and horrible shadowy puppet master schemes.

Vanitas Vanitatum is the ultimate "I can fix him" romance. It is an "I can fix him" romance to the extent that Dirk's desire to "fix" John becomes one of the fic's main conflicts—in addition to John's genuine mental health crisis and the political crisis that's happening around them. If you know anything about my taste in fiction, you're probably looking at "dark fantasy story about a guy trying to unravel and understand his crush's mental health problems" and going "okay yeah. I see why Andie is obsessed with this."

If you're a Homestuck fan, even if you're not usually a DirkJohn person, I cannot recommend Vanitas Vanitatum highly enough. It's well-written, it's funny, it's heartwarming, and it's absolutely heartbreaking. The plot is twisty and, especially if you've read the rest of the series, absolutely filled with delicious dramatic irony. The way oxfordroulette writes Dirk's pov is an absolute treat. And while the fic is fairly nsfw (there's only three actual sex scenes if I remember right, but lot of discussion and thinking about sex in the interim), the real porn in this fic is the food and costume porn. The author knows what the people want, and it's decadent food descriptions and crazy fantasy royalty outfits. It's also illustrated!

Honestly, if the fic didn't require an understanding of troll romance quadrants to make any goddamn sense, I'd be recommending it to non Homestuck fans as well. It's just a really good story.

Here's the official summary:

You've determined the hobbies of the monarch you serve are as follows: 1. Ill-timed pranks. 2. Cooking. 3. Subconsciously pulling elaborate political schemes off perfectly, ad infinitum, every one of which inches his mind closer to some ineffable dark chasm you're curious to find the depth of. Anyway, he makes damn good lasagna.

Read it here :)

[hylias-library]

Twilight x Reader

Because he's my favorite and I'm biased and I said so

[Navigation]

"Alright, we're gonna stock up here and then keep heading south."

A collective groan went through the group. You hadn’t been able to sleep in a normal bed for what felt like ages. And Time's words only stretched that fact longer than it needed to be.

"Do we have a problem?"

"Nooooooo."

Time nodded in satisfaction while you got yourself ready to get food alongside Twilight, Legend and Wild.

Soon enough, you strolled down the streets, looking at the various stalls displaying meat, vegetables, fruit, and lots more.

"What should we get?" You asked Wild. He was the main cook, so his decision was final on the items you bought.

"We could use some meat, actually. And definitely milk, butter, and salt."

Legend and Twilight nodded along while Wild listed a few more things.

He turned to you. "We should split up and meet here again after we've got everything. I'll go with Legend to get the meat and salt. See ya later."

"W-wait!" You stumbled over your words with an embarrassed expression. That traitor. Wild knew about the huge crush you had on Twilight. You could strangle him for this stunt.

"Should we go?"

You blinked, and your eyes found Twilight, smiling at you. Blowing air out of your nose you nodded, smiling back, hiding a small blush. "Sure."

Even though you were more than nervous to be alone with the handsome hero, walking around with Twilight was calm and quiet.

A stark contrast to the chaos that always seemed present in the Chain as a whole.

It was nice for a change, and Twilight seemed to be in a good mood today, which was contagious, making you grin.

"You seem happy today. Any reason?" You glanced over at him.

"No. Just in a good mood." He paused a few seconds, looking at you. "You seem happier than normal as well. Do you have any reason?"

You shrugged, followed by an amused giggle. He didn't need to know it was him making you this giddy.

"No. Same as you I guess."

He nodded along, ears slightly tinted pink. "I like your smile. It's really pretty."

You almost stumbled. That was a compliment you didn't expect, but welcomed. A blush already creeping up your neck again.

Twilight stopped in front of a stall, displaying diary products. He glanced over at you, who was already pointing at a few bottles of milk and some packages of butter. The merchant happily nodding along to your order.

The green clad hero soon joined you, looking over your shoulder at the amount of items you got. It seemed like that would last you at least until you reached the next town.

"Anything else for the lady?" The merchant asked and eyed Twilight, who now stood behind you, putting a hand on your back.

"We could get some cheese as well?"

You nodded, your lips lifting yet again. "Good thought. I think we're running low on that, too. Thanks, Twi."

Now you were a few rupees poorer, but you had everything you needed.

"Your partner is a real catch, you know that, young man?" It was the merchant, smiling at Twilight gently.

After actually processing what he said, you looked at each other in shock.

"W-we're not."

"We're just-"

Twilight came to his senses first, nervously ruffling the back of his head, while you still stared at the vendor with wide eyes. "W-we're not in a relationship."

The salesman apologized. "I didn't know." He looked you up and down, then gave Twilight a onceover. "You'd make a nice couple though."

You, finally able to move your body again, thanked him and dragged Twilight away. Both of you with ears, the color of ripe apples.

"That was awkward." You mumbled.

"Tell me about it."

Relief filled you when you spotted Wild and Legend already waiting at the meeting point. The whole walk back, you and Twilight kept glancing at each other, instantly darting away your gazes when they met.

"There you are. What took you so long?" Legend looked at you two. "What happened? Did you guys run all the way here? You're both red in the face."

You glanced away from Twilight in mild panick, eyes directed to the ground, chewing on the inside of your cheek. "Let’s just go back. Time's probably already waiting for us."

With that, you darted away, Twilight hot on your heels while Legend and Wild exchanged confused glances, following with a shrug of their shoulders.

Having been busy running away from your internal problems, you didn’t notice a hole in the road, filled with mud.

And promptly, you slipped with a yelp, falling backwards, already prepared for the impact that never came.

You landed softly. In Twilights' arms. He had caught you just in time.

Now you were half laying, half standing in your crush's arms, your hands on his shoulders, his underneath your shoulderblades, and on your hip.

It almost looked like he had dipped you in a dance.

Staring wide-eyed at each other, neither one of you moved. Too busy drowning in each other's eyes until Legend's voice made both of your faces match his tunic.

"So... When's the wedding?"

Twilight almost let you fall, Wild and Legend snickering in the background.

Ignoring Legend and Wild, you let Twilight help you back up. Nervously wiping your hands dry on your pants.

"Thank you for catching me."

Twilight smiled, scratching the back of his head again. You found it to be very endearing. "Don't mention it."

He nodded forward, a silent question you answered with a nod, taking off toward where Time and the rest of the Chain was waiting. Leaving Wild and Legend behind. They followed with a sulky shout of "Wait for us!"

You giggled, eyeing Twilight again.

He looked back with an amused huff. "Hm?"

Crossing your hands behind your back, you gently bumped your hip into Twilights, your blush getting a few shades darker than before.

"I guess I fell for you."

[rielzero]

Hiii, let's see! This one is for Locke

(I guess this first one is dumb because, comic but)

-Does he have a specific story quest and can it end differently given the circumstances and choices?

TW: ED

-I know he has an ed(me too but shhh) how does that manifest throught the story, does he feel comfortable sharing info about it with the rest of the party or is he more guarded with sharing about it?

-And as a bonus question, how does he reacts/thinks about Astarion Ascending?

Thank youuuuu💫

I was originally going to answer these with drawings, but both questions require me to spoiler massively for his story, stuff you will eventually see pop up in the comic in some form.

So yes, MASSIVE Spoiler warnings for Locke under the ''read more'' You've been warned. TW: ED, gore, implied child abuse, suicidal ideation, illness

Locke's personal quest is a bit complicated because it keeps devolving from simple things to bigger issues, but he's actually hiding the fact that he's terminally ill as the result of a mix of problems with things being wrong in his body. The first being: Locke is a cannibal. He has suppressed this side of him since early adulthood by trying to get his body to consume normal food, but even if he's managed to somehow survive doing this for 8 years it has severely impacted his health. While he was consuming the flesh of other beings, he didn't do so willingly, nor was he healthy. He was forced to do this since he was a very small child. Everything tastes putrid to him, and even if its the only meat his body will digest without issue, He was doomed by it from the start.

If Locke was an ingame companion, the goblin camp dwarf meat will trigger a ! above his head. This is were you get a first real route marker for him, as it will severely impact his mental state when you progress towards act 2. An alternative trigger location would be any place that has a lot of gore and bodies. (like the gnoll's victims.)

If you succeed an insight check, the narrator would say the following:

The half elf appears troubled, but not by the sight of the roast, it's the smell. The corner of his mouth is involuntarily twitching. His eyes say it all, He wants to leave. He has to leave. Now.

If you succeed a high persuasion check to convince him to talk, he'll note that he will only talk about it during a long rest. Afterwards you need to persuade him again before he feels safe enough to drop the bomb that he was, or used to be a cannibal, including some more info notes about his horrible childhood in the sewers. Dialogue options would allow you to judge him, but also answer neutrally, or suggest that he should've fed from your enemies.

Locke will respond incredibly negative when you suggest he'd start eating his fill, he will not tell the player that it won't change much, and avoid mentioning that he is ill.

Coercing him into eating humanoid meat with intimidation/persuasion is where his main route splits in two, causing act 2 Locke to behave differently. He will behave more erratic, and begins spiraling, he has unique reactions to the act 2 bosses when they unalive themselves, he's putting up a tough front, and you will eventually have to talk him down from the ledge.

If you do not coerce him, instead ask him how he's been dealing with the situation, he will be more emotionally available and open about his past bit by bit.

Of course these two routes would have side effects, since he has insomnia, he can only short rest in the beginning of act 1, so a long rest has the potential of him waking up with his warlock slots but not full health. Coercing him into going back to his cannibalism will allow him to long rest earlier, but it will be harder to persuade him to talk about his story as his mental health declines. It also soft locks you out of romance if you keep pushing him too much.

IF you support Locke in his battle with his ED, he'll tell you about the amount of things he's tried, what kinds of techniques he's cooked, or types of meat, in hopes of getting his stomach to be normal. He'll even tell you about how his patron tortures him by transplanting the memory of flavors into his mind on a whim, flavors he can't taste. He'll rest easier knowing you don't judge him for his past, or allow him to manage his ED on his own pace.

When he opens up, he'll sound friendlier, even joking about his experiences sometimes.

2. Locke's survival is dependent on Astarion's ascension. I don't think he can coexist in the narrative if someone else romancing Astarion. By act 3, Locke encounters an npc relevant to his backstory that will cause his shaky health to rapidly decline, and the only way to safe him is to become a vampire.

This is why he wouldn't work as a canon companion, because I don't have alternatives for him, so you should think of the player being either an Astarion or Gale origin, or companions are actively romancing each other.

Locke is supportive of ascension, he is pragmatic. Letting loose 7000 vampire spawn while the Absolute crisis is going down sounds like you're just eager to end the world. He will die at some point after the ritual if Astarion does not ascend. I can picture there being an unique cutscene for this. If the absolute is beaten before a long rest, then he will drown in the water and the companions will have to fish his body out. Withers cannot bring him back because his body is the problem, not his soul.

Anyway I'm not a game dev so it ain't perfect :P

[ozma914]

Oodles of Books: the Gift That Keeps On Reading

"If the Beast gave me a library like he gave to Belle, I'd marry him too." -- Aya Ling

 So, my wife's bosses were going through storage units, and had to sort through all the books their daughter collected over the years. Some were damaged, but they offered to give Emily and me most of the rest. Their daughter, they said, read a lot.

Not long after, they filled our Ford Escape with so many books I was afraid it would bottom out on every hill on the way home. A few days later, they did it again. Then again.

Mountains of books! Forests of books! More books than you'd ever read in a lifetime!

Ahem. If you'll pardon me for quoting Beauty and the Beast. I may have cried a little. I also may have cried a little while we were carrying them all up the steps into the house, but enough about my back.

It was Emily who had to clean up the books because, as it happens, I'm allergic to both dust and mold. Never thought I'd be glad about that. But I forgot, and later when I was cleaning our former bedroom/new reading room (our own library!) I gave myself an allergy attack. Too bad--eight hours of sleeping off the Benadryl, when I could have been reading.

Freaking scads of books! 

We're still sorting them, by author and genre. Authors like me, who don't stick to a genre, will be a problem. But many of them were novel series (love a good series), which helped. We unfolded a table and Emily got started while I was cooking and doing the dishes, which is completely understandable when you realize how much more organized her mind is than mine.

Really, the only member of the family who wasn't thrilled was the dog. (This all happened before Beowulf passed away.) When we first put up the table he liked to lay down under it, but as we unpacked more books that space became filled, too. Sometimes he just walked up to the table and looks sadly at his former doghouse.

"I am NOT amused. I can't even read."

A large percentage of the books are what's called high fantasy, which I take it are better enjoyed when you're high. Wait, let me check ...

Oh. Well, it means epic in scope, with forces threatening a world that is not our own. Game Of Thrones stuff, and didn't it take us a whole year to read through those massive tomes. The novel I wrote (and am currently trying to sell) is low fantasy: mostly set in the real world, with the addition of magical elements. Now we're talking about Harry Potter and the Giant Dump Truck of Money.

Many others are space opera, again similar to another novel in my submission process. Think Dune, the Lensman books, and of course Star Wars. (My Junior English teacher in high school was the daughter of E.E. Smith, who authored the Hugo-nominated Lensman series. Fun old-timey SF, and possibly an inspiration for the Green Lantern.)

There are also history books, mostly involving World War II, which made me squeal a little. Okay, a lot. There are mysteries, and both nonfiction and fiction books about horses, and encyclopedia yearbooks covering all the earlier years of my life and some before. We have our own library of books--something I always dreamed of.

I took this photo to document that someone decided to leave their shampoo behind, and buy a book instead. If you never leave your couch, you don't need shampoo.

It all made me a little sad.

Let's face it: even if I gave up writing and put all my spare time into reading, there's no way I'll ever get to all these books, plus the ones I already have, plus the ones on my reading list. We've still got books in boxes in the garage. I've got friends writing books that I want to read. It makes me want to retire to a rustic cabin in the woods and just become one with a comfortable chair.

Still, just having all those books up on shelves around us will cheer me up substantially, and better too many than not enough. With books, I may never go anywhere again--but I'll go everywhere.

That's a pretty good way to spend your time.

Remember: Every time you don't read a book, the author has an allergy attack. Keep authors healthy.

We and our books--I mean, the ones we wrote--can be found everywhere:

·        Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO

·        Barnes & Noble:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

·        Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4898846.Mark_R_Hunter

·        Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/

·        Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/

·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/

·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914

·        Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/

·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter

·        Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter

·        Substack:  https://substack.com/@markrhunter

·        Tumblr:  https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914

·        Smashwords:  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ozma914

[xfulmen]

did laxus try several things to finding a hobby? like is he good at any hobbies outside of being a bad ass in combat?

In all honesty, Laxus didn't really get the chance to engage in various activities in order to find his preferential ones. Due to the fact that he didn't have a good childhood all because of the implantation of the lacrima in his head, followed by a set of calloused training --- all of it stems from his father, Ivan, he didn't get the opportunity to experience what could be considered a normal childhood. And no matter how much Makarov tried to make it up for it, it still wasn't enough since the damage was already done.

Here's a link to a more detailed headcanon about Laxus' childhood, because I don't want to be repetitive. ( X )

But slowly, going through adolescence Laxus started coming out of his shell a bit more. I think it also started with his discovering his strong liking towards music. Ever since he purchased those headphones ( and mind you, they were expensive so he was saving up money after accomplishing missions ) he wouldn't stop listening to music, since it helps him cast aside any problems that he has even if it is for a short amount of time. Not to mention it was quite relaxing to him but that also depends on the songs that he was listening to. He is a big fan of classic rock 'n roll music. Guns 'n Roses was his favourite band at the time ( and still remains as oe of his favourite bands ). But to return back to the topic --- music helped him a lot. Hence, he wanted to dive deeper into this and so;

He started collecting vinyls.

He didn't collect them for the sake of listening music through them since, as already mentioned above, he had his distinguished headphones. It's just that the whole concept of having vinyls at your own space, decorating them in a way that would capture your attention, was appealing to him. And back in the day, Laxus wasn't known ( and still isn't let's be real ) for his socialization skills, so to him this was his escapade. Hence, his room was filled with vinyls when he was still living with his grandfather but when he moved out to live on his own, he was able to divide them and decorate his living room and bedroom accordingly. Not too overbearing yet enough to catch your attention and make you question about them.

( though the thing is, Laxus wouldn't invite just anyone at his place, only those he trusts the most. )

Then he met the Raijinshuu, his teammates. Of course that didn't alter his love for vinyls but upon meeting them, it certainly brightened up a bit his horizons, opening doors for further explorations. However, one of the things that he was absolutely certain he will never attain mastery in, was cooking. Leave that to Freed.

Laxus was constantly concentrated on training and becoming stronger and stronger every day. Therefore he enver really gave himself the chance to experience the likeness of a child/adolescent/adult like an ' average ' person, if you will. His mind was focused on his goals and despite losing his path and resulted to his excommunication from the Guild, that didn't prohibit him from growing stronger. Therefore the less hobbies he had, the less distraction they would have been, or so he believed.

[ilikelookingatthings]

I had a weird as dream that I must write down. Imagine old tiny army cartoon or live action old army comedy show. We are in ghe perspective of a army nurse (also cook)who is very popular. Sam(Samuel) Ibie wellington(she likes imagine Sam I be smelling where she would hesitate over writing the last name cuz she'd feel the erge to write the smelling one for giggles...but she would wrote it in a fancy cursive with a heart.

The guys would get her fresh meat by hunting abd bring her first and leather...and she knew everyone of their stories by name.

WE know the entire troop is going to die because

They have been ordered to fight. They don't have enough time to make a plan and while they consider what if they just hid somewhere and ambushed...or just hid so they would live....if they AREN'T IN THE WAY AT AT LEAST slow the OPOOSING Army down the army would immediately get to Fort Knox who also don't have enough time to prepare and need at least that one day delay killing our troops would give or they and all the civilians they are protecting behind them to put up a proper fight.

If our troops just hid and the opposing army just passed by....a bunch mire people would be slaughtered and if our army lived people would question things and see it as them all turning traitor and abandoning their post woth at most gives yiu a death penalty and at least your court marshaled and you live in shame where if anyone they knew did live our Troup would luve in shame....because of course the army would have free ranger to attack more towns if they got through all the defenses.

The head of the Troup kniws this and is so angry they are being left to die...where he doesn't tell the troops the truth cuz he us angry and trying t solve it by himself and he doesn't think they habe enough time to solve the problem or put up a good fight...which is a mistake cuz it gives them even LESS time to find a solution.

Thry also have a basically blind person in charge(Mt mind got inspiration from this old comedy army show that my dad apparently used to watched that was black and white that showed in a doctor's office TV once...who was blind and old but wjo means well and wjo was taken foe a ride by his troops who would make fake scenarios to make him feel like they were doing their part because they didn't ACTUALLY want to go-to battle being led by a blind guy..where they actually shot down a big wig by accident who they already made a fake scenerio of giving a medal. But the senator or general sss understandably annoyed and pissed)....either way that's from the shoe not the dream ect ect.

Anyway we know in theory in the dream everyone is suppoused to die cuz it's history and its famous that they all were killed in the future(note I don't know much about history but this is definity not based on a real battle...99.999% my mind made it up)

Fort knox...really?my dream mind is weird.

Either way we see the nurse/cook somehow find out the truth with the troops and the other cooks and nurses and she is PISSED. She doesn't want to die. She doesn't want them all to die and if they just hidden they could kill Samuel in the other fort. But they have even less time to prepare.

They brought up gorilla warfare where they good hide in the bushes and camouflage but they are told the other troops are good at seeing throught it. Their 'bushes' also rumpled like a plastic or paper bag and are almost see through but they try to get more leaves and branches... to fill out the bush disguises...and our cook nurse lady brought up using all the furs amd leather they've brought to help with the sound problem and to make more disguises.

So everyone is dressed like different types of bushes and like the lost boys from Disney's Peter pan.

Wondering if they should give up and just die....the nurse cook brings up every one of their personalities and stories....like benjamin/Benny who's girlfriend left him where he was told he needs to live and find someone else or if he ever loved ger...he needs to live at least to see her whether they are together now or not cuz that was still regardless it was someone who had cared...bringing up family members and friends or even if they have no one....to bring up any one or any excuse to give they a reason to fight...enemies, aquatences, lovers, ex lovers friends, family ect.

And I woke up wondering if they were able to fight back and survive or if they fought back and they did die but this is the secret history that was never noticed.

Also I kept wondering who they were fighting? The British? Other Americans in a civil war? Vietnam or Korea? Wjat would have made the most sense for this imaginary too detailed dream war that was talked over by the narrator from old Disney shorts.

[rametarin]

"But how do you KNOW you're allergic to [etc]?"

You fat, bloated, denialist piece of shit.

A few years ago I was having some severe breathing problems. Just, could not catch my breath, was in severe distress. However, breathing normally gave me a bit of hyperventilation systems. So it felt like it was both hyper and hypo ventilation, in different parts of my body.

It caused my heart to race and become excruciatingly painful, as it didn't feel like I was getting enough oxygen. For fucking hours I struggled in my bed fighting the urge to go to the ER, because I hoped I'd pull through for free. It was weeks before COVID formally became a thing, and I had some mysterious problems that felt like lung and heart issues. Stuff that I was normally food sensitive to was causing problems in other parts of my body. Stuff that later I'd learn sounded like cytokine storms.

I've always had excruciatingly bad bowel problems. Like, inflammatory bowel issues. In the years since, I've cut cottonseed oil and eggs and anything with peanuts or made in facilities that also do peanuts, out of my diet. And enjoyed massive improvement in my ability to shit and also not feel pain. Whereas before for whole years since graduating highschool I had 4-6 day stints of not shitting and severe cramps and pain.

However, since I live with a narcissistic piece of shit mother, whom insists that because she lacks these problems, there's no reason I should have them, keeps "accidentally" trying to reintroduce them into my diet, and just making the most stupid arguments as to why "what you experienced was probably just a panic attack/not real."

Fucking excuse you, but I came in from shoveling snow a few years ago and absolutely could not catch my breath. My diaphragm felt like it was filled with wax and clogged and wasn't functioning properly. Th only 'panic attack' I felt was from what felt like death of being strangulated, and that came only from my breathing issue.

And the only correlation was that I'd eaten half of fish that was cooked in cottonseed oil between when I had a flareup the first time vs. the second time. Where I hadn't been out shoveling, I just ate the fish and started feeling short of breath.

And the time before that, I'd had a little peanut butter and experienced what truly felt like a heart attack and anaphlectic shock. My heart just randomly started beating crazily, painfully, so I lay down on the floor to prevent myself from passing out and falling. From that day onwards, I've avoided peanuts, peanut oil, or anything else with peanuts in it, or was make in a facility that processed peanuts.

Similarly, with chicken eggs. I was already strangely sensitive to chicken. I like the taste; what I don't like is my bowels swelling up into nonfunctional hypersensitive pain flumes and causing me so much agony I want to fucking die from constipation.

And that rancid fucking cunt keeps on trying to sneak these things back into my diet to "try" and prove that I don't have any problems. Keeps "forgetting." I argue these things make me excruciatingly hurt, and I do not want them. She argues, "Well you ate them before and survived, didn't you? I think you just suffered a big panic attack."

Fuck you. Panic attacks don't feel like your bowels are paralyzed but actively trying to bend themselves like suspension bridges collapsing during an earthquake.

Then she went on to list all her allergies and how allergies cause other things like rashes and eyes watering and how it's impossible to just have an isolated reaction just in your GI tract, lungs or heart. "I'm a NURSE, I know! If you were having an allergic reaction, it'd be over your entire body!"

You're full of shit. What I experienced, I rightfully should've gone to the emergency room. And if I had enough fucking money to go and not be out tens of thousands of dollars in medical debt, I'd have fucking went. You selfish, conniving, exploitative bitch.

Too fucking lazy to just NOT put all the foods that I can't eat in the god damned meals. Keeps trying to "sneak (teehee)" that shit into my food, just to "prove all your problems are in your head."

I've recovered THIS MUCH because I stopped eating that shit and feeling like death warmed over every day. You lazy, disgusting tub of fuck. I don't feel like I'm one bad day away from needing to visit the emergency room anymore. And she thinks that means green light go to put that shit back in my body.

I know she's doing it on purpose, because I keep telling her, shit with cottonseed oil, shit with egg in it (yolks OR whites), shit with peanuts or peanut oil, all that shit causes bowel and breathing issues for me, which is very much not a fun time. She keeps trying to catch me with my guard down and "accidentally" add it, it go missed, so she can then go "SEE!? IT DIDN'T HURT YOU, DID IT!?" and live out that fantasy I have no problems but mental ones. Because those are cheaper to quiet.

Doesn't give a shit that I felt like I was going to die from what the food did to me, just cares that I didn't die, therefore, "there was no problem." And once again insisted, it was purely a panic attack.

Declaring something a panic attack is her way of saying there was no problem, it was all just imagined, the fault lays in you. AKA, "you're just delusional, there is no problem."

Because the alternative, that there is a biological and chemical reason why my bowels and lungs behave this way, would just be too god damned expensive. So, she reasons it must be imaginary.

It doesn't help that she's one of those narcsissitic psychotic goons that believes "positive vibes" change the universe, and that stupid "The Secret" thing that was so popular among middle aged/elderly housewives for so fucking long. A belief system that rewarded you for thinking if you obstinately just ignore reality and insist it works another way with denial, you could retroactively change reality just by sheer stubborrnness.

As a result, I will not tolerate any woman with similar beliefs. You're a liability, on top of being a pain in the ass. Dangerous levels of denying reality so you can try and play chicken with causality and physics. And the fact so many of you bitches are insulated from the consequences of your own beliefs directly, using other people as proxies when your big "belief something is true" fails, you never have any skin in the game to fucking learn from failure. You never have any reason to fucking doubt. You never have to take any accountability for the hubris.

So she decides I don't have an egg issue and just buys me a snack with egg in it, I eat it and feel like shit, and low and behold it turns out she ignored I said, "don't buy me shit with egg in it."

[tavernkeep-fenne]

Simple Lasagna

   In all fairness, this recipe didn't have a measured sauce but instead used leftover, pureed ratatouille. I'd say it was probably 6 cups of sauce. based on the size of the storage containers. I have a serious problem with not measuring things.

    Now it's time to ramble to fill space and help theme this blog! 

    I play Pathfinder second edition, often shortened to PF2e, with a small group of friends. For those unaware and actually reading this, it's overall really similar to Dungeons & Dragons but with differences mainly in rules. Altogether, there are six of us each week. 

    I am the host, so I choose to cook instead of ordering out. I often try to theme the meals for the real life season as well as the in-game events. "Tavern" meals that I think would pop up in a fantasy tavern our players might come across.

    Last week was a build week, where we ate and sat around bouncing character dynamics and personalities off each other while talking about and figuring out what kind of characters we are building. For this event, I made lasagna. I had never made a lasagna before but have seen enough that I figured our the basics: sauces, cheeses, pasta, and meat. Well, meat is optional. This ended up making enough to satisfy 6 people, a couple of whom do not have small appetites. The Game Master (GM) is picky about lasagna and he's the one who ate the most! I felt such high praise from that. 

    This is a homebrew campaign called Dreadful Dawn. It's a penny dreadful genre and pulls themes from D&D's Ravenloft. If you aren't familiar with what the penny dreadful genre is, our GM likened it to League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Hellboy. It's pretty dark, with lots of things that go bump in the night. 

  Now time to cook!

    Ingredients

1lb ground beef, cooked and drained

28-36oz tomato based pasta sauce*

6-9 unbroken lasagna noodles (I used oven-ready and they did fine)

15oz ricotta cheese

16 oz shredded mozzarella cheese

fresh Parmesan to taste 

    How to Cook

    Preheat your oven to 400F/200C

    Heat your pasta sauce and add your cooked meat to it. Spread a layer of sauce in the bottom of a GREASED or LINED 13x9inch baking dish. Add a layer of 3 noodles, lengthwise. If you are not using oven-ready noodles, you should cook your noodles just before assembling the lasagna. 

    Add a second layer of sauce, topped with dallops of ricotta and a layer of mozzarella. Repeat until ingredients are used or you've run out of room in your dish. Finish with your Parmesan.

    Place is oven, uncovered, until your top layer ofcheese is the desired amount of toasty. Everything was assembled already cooked and hot, so we don't have to worry as much about that.

    Let rest on a cooking rack until cool enough to not burn your mouth. This can take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, but serving it ahead onto plates will help it cool a bit faster. 

*My pasta sauce was actually pureed ratatouille from another night. While it looks fancy, it's really easy to make in two different ways. I'll share these ways in a future post, for convenience.

[erabundus]

❝  skin  off.  ❞  the  chopping  halts,  if  only  for  the  moment.  a  deft  flick  of  the  wrist  has  him  gathering  the  sliced  pieces  of  chili  along  the  blade.  there's  a  brief  pause,  indigo  eyes  flicking  about  their  assembled  ingredients  —  before  a  hand  darts  out  to  grab  an  empty  bowl.

❝  it's  not  bad.  ❞   the  wanderer  says,  tapping  the  knife  against  the  bowl.  with  the  chili  taken  care  of,  he  turns  his  attention  to  the  ginger.  they're going to  need  a  bit.  ren  carefully  starts  to  slice  away  the  tough  outer  layer.  ❝  liyue,  i  mean.  i've  always  liked  the  idea  of  CONTRACTS ...  arrangements  born  of  mutual  benefit  are  generally  what  i  prefer  by  default.  if  you  think  about  it,  a  contract  is  merely  a  more  binding  version  of  that.  ❞   they're intended to be,  at  least.  he's  not  so  ignorant ( nor naïve )  as  to  assume  every  contract  is  based  in  FAIRNESS  —  yet  the  wanderer  finds  he  doesn't  particularly  have  a  problem  with  that.  this  life  is  filled  with  tiny  battles,  waged  by  means  that  extend  far  beyond  mere  strength;  if  anyone  is  shrewd  enough  to  negotiate  a  favorable  arrangement  for  themselves,  they  have  every  right  to  bask  in  their  VICTORY.  ❝  it's  surprisingly ...  ❞  ren  halts  his  chopping  to  gesture  vaguely  with  his  free  hand.   ❝  vertical?  you  would  think  that  might  be  more  mondstadt's  thing.  ❞ he supposes they're both like that in their own respective ways.

❝  although to be frank,  i  think  inns  are  a  waste  of  money.  ❞  the  wanderer  continues,  and  he  can't  suppress  the  urge  to  roll  his  eyes  a  bit  —  kunihide's  CURIOSITY  be  damned.   ❝  why  would  i  pay  to  spend  the  night  somewhere  when  i  don't  actually  sleep?  staying  OUTSIDE  works  just  as  well  —  and  it  doesn't  cost  a  single  mora.  ❞  he  spins  the  piece  of  ginger  on  its  side  and  begins  slicing  —  no  real  rhyme  or  reason  to  his  movements.  it's  going  to  be  MINCED  to  bits  either  way;  he  doesn't  have  to  worry about making  the  cuts  look  pretty.   ❝  i'm  apparently  in  the  minority there,  ❞  a shake of the head,  ❝  because  they're  awfully  popular ...  particularly  with  travelers,  of  course.  i'm  sure  i  don't  have  to  explain  why.  ❞

unsurprisingly, he was far less CRITICAL of such things when he didn't have to pay for his own room.

❝  i  don't  need  to  eat,  but  i  like  to  taste ...  so  the  act  of  COOKING  a  meal  still  holds  some  intrinsic  value  to  me.  ❞  he  repeats  the  same  action  from  before  —  gathering  up  the  minced  ginger  with  the  edge  of  his  knife  and  depositing  it  into  another  bowl.  ❝  my  first  true  introduction  to  the  world  involved  living  among  a  village  of  HUMANS ...  they  were  the  ones  to  teach  me  the  basics.  ❞

Obedient as ever, Kunihide gives a nod at the instructions that he's given and sets to work at completing them. It's certainly not his first time cleaning a fish, and while some might have been put off by the sensation, Kunihide is hardly bothered by it in the slightest. "Skin on or off?" It's the only other thing that he needs clarification on as he begins to scale the fish with the back of the knife he's been provided with, clearly comfortable with the process.

The sound of one blade scraping away fish scales while another chops away at vegetables is almost soothing, truth be told. Many of Kunihide's fondest memories involve cooking and eating together, and it's perhaps why he's so eager to assist Ren in preparing this meal. Even now, the puppet finds himself learning bits and pieces about Ren, and he does his best to commit them to memory, even as he listens quietly.

"What's it like? Liyue, I mean." He's heard descriptions - read about them in books and listened to tales when given the opportunity to do so. There's a part of him - a large part, if he's bring truthfully - that wishes he could see it all for himself. The world is wide, after all, and he's only seen the barest hint of it in the centuries that he's been alive. "Have you seen the rest of Teyvat too?"

He loves his home, but there's no denying that Kunihide wants to see everything else that the world has to offer. Even if only for a short while, even if he ultimately returns to the land of his birth in the end, just a taste of what else is out there would be an amazing experience. It's certainly one of the things that makes Ren different from himself - the other puppet's worldly travels versus his own ignorance with regards to the rest of Teyvat.

"I've never stayed at an inn before," he comments, holding Ren's gaze for a beat or two longer before it returns to the fish, bringing the tip of its knife to its belly so that he might begin making a first, shallow incision. Don't puncture any of the organs - he'd learned that early on after one particularly unpleasant experience, and has taken care to not repeat that mistake every since.

Considering his doppleganger's words, Kunihide hums for a moment thoughtfully, eyes flicking back towards Ren for a brief moment, "Do you enjoy cooking too, then?" He asks, unable to keep from searching for more similarities. "I can't imagine that you would bother if you didn't."

Why cook if one didn't need to eat, unless they liked both the activity itself and the experience that came from eating the food produced?