#i think the issue i have w a lot of takes on him is that this core is missing
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[teaser] night d(r)ive | yjh
Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x GN!Reader
Synopsis: Jeonghan is the kind of guy who would drive 40 minutes out of his way just to pick you up, but also wouldn’t yield the last ramen at the local convenience store to you. He’s also the kind of guy people are quick to fall for, only to get crushed by his indifference for dating. As a close friend of the most sought-after man on campus, you’d like to think that you know Jeonghan well enough to predict his thoughts on romance and his territoriality over ramen. (Spoiler: You don't.)
Content: Angst, Fluff, Comfort | Friends to Lovers | College AU
Tags: short hair jeonghan, extreme pining, liking ramen as a plot device, crying, being losers for each other, insecure reader, lots of konglish w/ translations, overly indulgent kissing, no "y/n,” this is for everyone who voted jeonghan in the poll <3
Word Count: 5K (full)
Release Date: February 9
Masterlist
You‘d like to think that you know Yoon Jeonghan well. Surely, you do! Over the years, you‘ve come across—and committed to memory—dozens, if not hundreds, of his little oddities. You’ve witnessed his personality change with the length of his hair, and learned the hard way that cheating at card games is like second nature to him. At this point, you can recite more information about his pet rock than ramen, which is somewhat terrifying if you dwell on it for too long, considering that ramen is your favorite food.
But despite his chaotic personality, you also know that he’s incredibly smart, having sat next to him in countless college lectures and trivia events.
Honestly, it can’t possibly be a stretch to say that you know the man too well, can't it? And at times, it feels a bit unfair that you can only reply, “oh, I know him,” when people fleetingly mention him in conversation. It hurts that you can’t clarify that you know him—that you can’t ramble on about how he made the stupidest joke to make you laugh when you were upset about your most recent midterm, or handmade you the sweetest present for your birthday, or let you choose your favorite film for movie night for the third time in a row—because no one wants to nor needs to hear about it.
But, unfortunately, that’s all you can think about these days.
Because, unfortunately, Yoon Jeonghan is simultaneously the funniest, weirdest, kindest, and most devastatingly handsome man you’ve ever met.
Yoon Jeonghan is the kind of guy who would drive 40 minutes out of his way just to pick you up, but also wouldn’t yield the last ramen at the local convenience store to you. Though he gives into his internal demands for petty possessiveness quite often, he cares deeply for his friends.
He’s also the kind of guy people are quick to fall for, only to get crushed by his nonchalant but somewhat firm indifference for dating. You’ve witnessed him casually turn down far too many objectively gorgeous and incredibly intelligent people, which has convinced you that his standards are impossibly high. And if you were honest with yourself, based on the people he’d already rejected, it would be laughable for you to even think about confessing to him.
And so, as a close friend of the most sought-after man on campus, you’d like to think you know Jeonghan well enough to predict his thoughts on romance and his territoriality over ramen.
In fact, you’re sure about the ramen issue, because you’re witnessing it happen right now.
You’re staring at his smirking face in the instant food aisle of the convenience store, both of you gripping the last Neoguri cup like it’s a trophy.
“You gotta learn patience,” Jeonghan tuts, his lips upturned infuriatingly at one corner.
“No, you should learn patience. 손 빼, [Take your hand off,]” you demand, grasping the cup tighter.
“싫은데? [Don’t wanna,]” he says in a sing-song voice, raising his chin in defiance.
The ramen cup creaks slightly under the pressure of your combined grip, and a terrible thought forms in your head. Your hand is sandwiched between his hand and the cup, making you feel the heat radiating from his body. It’s something you’re afraid you could get used to.
You narrow your eyes, targeting his ridiculous, perfect lazy smile. “Take it off while I’m being nice.”
“Nah,” he replies immediately, smiling wider, his tongue sliding to the right.
Your heart lurches at the sight.
“치사하게 진짜 이럴 거야? [You’re so petty, are you really going to be like this?]” You chew on your bottom lip, eyes flitting between his face and his hand.
Jeonghan tilts his head slightly, his dark eyes sharp and steady on yours. He’s not really looking at the ramen anymore, and the intensity of his gaze makes your cheeks feel like they’re on fire.
“내가 여기서 이 옷을 입고 있는데, [I’m wearing these clothes here,]” he says, using his free hand to pinch the fabric of the expensive suit he always wears at his internship. “굳이 라면 하나 때문에 나랑 싸운다고? 그냥 빨리 가자, 음? [You’re really gonna fight with me over just one ramen cup? Let’s just go now, hmm?]”
You press your lips together and jut your chin in defiance.
He sighs dramatically, shaking his head. His shaggy, dark hair flows with it, and you can’t help but think that he looks princely like this, standing in the middle of this convenience store with his stupidly gorgeous face, and that dumb suit and tie.
“양보해. [Give it up.] I’ll give you whatever you want,” he says, his voice dipping lower. It feels less like an offer and more like a taunt, a challenge. His tone sends a small shiver through you, and for a second, you’re not sure if he’s teasing or serious.
You have to take a slow, deep breath to calm yourself down before even considering what to say next. You’re grateful for the ride (and his company), of course, but that doesn’t mean he can steal your rightful claim under your nose, in the same casual manner he has when letting one of his fans down.
You’ve always given into him. Because he means everything to you, of course.
But you’ve had enough of letting him have his way so easily, not with your precious ramen at risk.
You boldly step closer to him, cutting the distance between the two of you in half. You’re close enough to see your reflection in his eyes, now.
“I’m not letting go.” You firmly shake your head. You wouldn’t let him win this time. “I don’t want anything but this,” you add, stubbornly.
Tugging hard, you try to pull the cup toward you, but it frustratingly remains stuck on the shelf between the two of you. Looking back up, you see that he isn’t even straining to keep the ramen in place! You frown, wondering when your best friend got so strong.
He leans in just a fraction closer. “Keep trying,” he murmurs, and he’s so close that you can feel his warm breath tickling your face.
The world narrows to Jeonghan, and the faint scent of the cologne he only wears on weekends. It’s dizzying.
“야아아! [Hey!] I was here first!” you weakly defend, voice embarrassingly squeaky.
And then Jeonghan does something that completely short-circuits your brain.
His free hand lifts and brushes your hair away to your back, before resting on the divot between your neck and collarbone, where his thumb caresses the side of your neck. Feather-light, his touch is gentle, and his fingers are impossibly warm, a stark contrast to this slightly chilly convenience store. You just about choke on your surprise, your heart kicking into overdrive at the sheer intimacy of the gesture.
God, how is it that you never get a rest day with Jeonghan? How is it that he’s always flirting, always disregarding the boundaries of platonic and romantic love, always making you confused? And how is it that you just let it happen, that you just take whatever affection he gives you? How is it that you’re drawn into his dangerous touch, like a moth to a flame? Except that analogy doesn’t really work, because at least moths don’t know that they’re in danger when they reach fire—you know what you’re getting into, and you know all too well that Jeonghan will never be yours.
“Please?” he whispers.
Your breath hitches, suddenly aware that even for your overly-touchy friend, this level of skinship is extreme.
Does he know? Has he found out that you’re in love with him, that you’ve been keeping this ungodly secret from him for far too long? Does he know that every time he lets someone down, that every time he complains to you about people confessing and crying over him, you give him superficial laughs as you swallow your own feelings?
Does he know that you feel like sinking into the ground every time he entertains a random girl flirting with him, and that every time he crosses boundaries with you, it hammers in the fact that he thinks you’re a joke?
Does he know that you’ve spent over a year trying to convince yourself that you don’t have feelings for him, only to fail miserably, because there is no such thing as cutting Yoon Jeonghan out of your life, because he makes you feel so, so alive?
He must know. He must be making fun of you, now.
Your eyes widen, frantically searching his face for an ounce of malice. And you expect to see the look he always has when shredding the hearts of the brave people who confess to him, the face he makes when he casually tells someone that he doesn’t feel the same way. You expect to see an almost-cruel, blank stare paired with apologetic lips pressed together.
You expect him to crush your heart.
But instead, he’s staring at you with a gaze so, so, very soft, you wonder if you’ve hallucinated it. Shining eyes, raised eyebrows, mouth parted—he looks devastatingly beautiful.
Masterlist
Author's Note: coming soon for all the singles who need a big literary hug this valentines week
Disclaimer: nothing i write is representative of how svt acts off camera, take their names as stand-ins for oc's!!
Taglist: @syluslittlecrows - @junplusone
#yoon jeonghan x reader#jeonghan x reader#jeonghan oneshot#jeonghan x you#yoon jeonghan x you#jeonghan yoon x reader#yoon jeonghan oneshot#yoon jeonghan fanfiction#yoon jeonghan fic#jeonghan fanfiction#jeonghan fic#jeonghan x y/n#yoon jeonghan x y/n#yoon jeonghan fluff#jeonghan fluff#yoon jeonghan angst#jeonghan angst#college au#fanfiction#seventeen fanfic#svt fic#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#svt fluff#svt angst#svt x y/n#seventeen#jeonghan
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having some insomniac thoughts about how the public perception of the george vs max fight is affected by their PR personas, how much people value authenticity (or the appearance of being authentic) now in celeb culture, and how max uses that to his advantage….
#this is a deeply unpopular opinion maybe but i think max is a lot better at PR and manipulating the media than most ppl realize#like I don’t think that he is Faking his dislike of PR or his bluntness but I think that him and his team also know that ppl will#take what he says at face value and they use that to their advantage. like I have heard so many times that they believe Max’s word#about george bc max is ‘such an honest and blunt person he wouldn’t lie’. and that is the work of genius PR right there lol#and to contrast that w george…. who’s had the opposite image of being overly PR and therefore fake….#is it any wonder that ppl r siding w max over george?#also this is not me dunking on george and being like haha he’s fake what a loser bc that’s not my issue w him lol#idk i just think the contrast between the two in terms of their media image is rly interesting and directly feeds into their current feud
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i love twisted sugu and i love soft sugu i am just very firm on the point that he is a lonely boy reeking of summer at his very core. no matter the version
#i think the issue i have w a lot of takes on him is that this core is missing#truly and sincerely i love . nearly ALL takes on him it’s just v rare that i find someone who captures this aspect#even at his most twisted and cruel there is something deeply deeply fucking sad about him#and even at his kindest most beautiful there’s rot between his bones#that’s why he’s impossible not to fall in love with . he awakens the same instinct as a lonely woman at a bar#ari noises ✩
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DATV Spoilers Just in Case!) I’ve seen a head canon floating around that when solas puts a mage!Rook in the regret prison, it tranquilizes them. What do you think Viago’s reaction to this happening to a Crow!Rook would be?
i think there's a small terrible part of viago that instinctively thinks it was a bad investment/solution to send rook off with varric, since he's lost one of his best assassins. and then of course he hates that this is his first reaction because rook is more than that to him, but he's been conditioned by their lives to worry about his power and the mission first. and then i think he throws himself into trying to prove that he is a better man than that by finding a cure, without being obvious about it, even if his worry actually makes him messier and obvious. a similar outward reaction to what i've seen people headcanon about how he feels when he gets the news that rook is stuck in the fade trap in general (anger, determination, frustration, etc)
the idea of viago as a man who clings to "i rose to this rank for a reason, above the other crows. i'm a killer but with my poisons, i'm cleaner. i'm royalty. i'm better." is so beautiful to me. who he wants by his side/publically allies with is made more interesting to me for that reason. rook and teia make a very short list, so for him to lose either of them (especially to a fate worse than death. like i know there's a cure but i'm not sure if that's common knowledge and it has rammys bro) will inevitably cause a crash out the likes of which thedas may have never seen before <3
#tho also i have no fucking clue. i love viago and his high strung freakish tendencies#but a lot of this is just me thinking of viago and not necessarily this specific ask. sorry anon#there are other people on here with a better grasp on vi#and i plan to keep it this way because the moment i have to think of him as a mentor figure#it pollutes my vision board for him. LOL#i don't think i'll ever play a de riva rook because i'll ruin my own experiment#this is my control variable. it's a wildlife documentary…#just because the baby crow is about to be cannibalised doesn't mean i'm going to stop it from happening#sorry. i know i said all that and im now saying 'but idk' but its true#my understanding of viago i think is mixed at best. i have not read the comics he is in and#8 little talons is very much a high stakes scenario where he hates literally everything thats happening#so that might not be a perfect judge of character. ive never seen this guy relaxed ever#tho saying this. this is probably his default state LOL#viago de riva#txt#anonymous#answered#it just feels a bit weird for me to enjoy 'the crows are morally grey' but then be like 'not my favorite talon viago tho'#i think viago should mistreat rook. for my sake. but then i would feel weird. which is why i shouldnt speak on it#i cannot be an unbiased party LOL. like im not saying he /directly/ abused rook#because i think w his age and timelines it just wouldnt be him. but i also dont think he's fucking speaking up and going#'NO MORE CORPORAL PUNISHMENT! I'LL PROTECT YOU ROOK!'#like be serious. thats a grown man near the top of the hierarchy. just another crow so used to abuse#and double crossing and violence that he takes it as a normal and given for his life/world#which obviously. like. creates issues in his personal life. whether thats with teia or with rook. lmfao.#especially with a guy this paranoid. he just strikes me as the guy to intentionally hurt rook so others dont recognise his weakness#'they need to see me punish you so that they won't kill you' <- totally normal thought to have viago you're so normal
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Everyone arguing about Stannis, JonCon, Jaime, god forbid Jorah being the 1000th commander of the NW….when it will be Jon again 🌚
#btw this is not stannerism like i do have legitimate reasons why i think it will be jon at the end#i think an interesting part of jon’s politiking as LC is him realizing how deep the rot is in the watch#he spends an entire book - agot - realizing that he institution he spent his childhood idolizing is not so glorious#he spends the next book directly confronting the issues that come with being a good man ( helping gilly#and being a true man to the watch and starting to notice the cracks in the system#and then asos is like the turning point you know?#adwd is him trying to fix the watch from within but failing imo because as i said the rot is far deeper#it doesnt matter how many people you replace the watch needs an overhaul - a complete uprooting to the core#which is why i dont like theories of him being a passive bystander as the watch crumbles#its just too narratively juicy if he takes a part in the destruction of the watch coz yknow some things need to be cleansed w/ fire n blood#a nice lil parallel to dany and what shell be doing in the east throughout winds#i like him as the 1000th lc because its a nice round number and thats a bit silly but its also signifying a renewal#Its a blank slate which is essential to jon because he does have a vision for the watch and the wildings!#and he can start from the ground up - and like one of the most underrated themes in jon’s arc is nation building#ive said before that i think the show kinda got it right….like we’ll see a weird mesh of lc of the nw and kbtw as jon’s endgame#I wont get into that now….but i know a lot of jon stans dont want him back at the wall because it seems needlessly cyclical and i get it#and i get that the watch isnt the most glorious place to be…but i really do think its meant to be a vehicle to explore themes of rebirth#and renewal which appear in jon’s arc -think of jon’s messianic framing and the watch being his “new earth” after all is said and done#not so much a place of punishment but a place to find new meaning and exist beyond many societal frameworks#for the cripples bastards and broken things….anywayyyyy lmaoo#asoiaf#jon snow
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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apparently i also put tolerate it by taylor swift on my playlist for vene....... i also see it. perhaps in a looser sort of way.
#( 💭 faun thinks )#maybe i'll talk abt some of the songs i put on there for him..... because i can. nobody can stop me in my own home.#with this one in particular probably a controversial take but i see it relating to his close relationships#because... think about it...... a lot of the ppl he's closest to insult him... esp romano... and even germany#that + how i see him having issues w/ self worth given his history of being chased after for his inheritance#+ the fact that he clearly takes words to heart with how much he praises others and seems to love being praised#i think he actually doesn't feel that loved but keeps up w/ trying to be loving because it's all he can really do#acknowledging that feeling of discontent would just create problems he doesn't want to deal with#and doesn't think can be dealt with to begin with#do the people he loves actually love him or do they just tolerate him#also i see parts of this tying into his childhood w/ austria as well#being scolded and bullied despite attempts to Be Good and earn Approval#which i think particularly fucked him up after living w/ rome and being treated overall well#only for him to die and vene to be kicked out into the real world where he was terribly mistreated#i see him feeling like he fell from grace in some way going from being a good kid who was praised#to one who could never do anything right (being a hyperbole)#thus feeling like he has to earn back or maintain that status of being Good#yet also w/ his experience of being sought after for his inheritance... ok losing the point here but i have Thoughts#thoughts i keep in the tags... for now...#keep meaning to make on itapost on this topic but then i get too nervous lol#i've also been wanting to make an itapost on vene's feelings towards rome and how he feels like he has to live up to some standard#in relation to him (but obviously doesn't and how that affects his self esteem)#soon maybe#itaposting
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Sorry but am I the only one that thought that episode…sucked? Like it was straight up bad. Horrible pacing, no wrap up of all the random characters and plot lines they’ve thrown around all season (the tuskegee airmen, Westgates spying, literally all the guys beside like the main 4). (Seriously it makes me so mad that the three redtails got all of 5 seconds of screen time, almost no lines. Literally what was the point of introducing them other than to pretend the show was iNcLuSiVe) Even at the end of BoB and the Pacific you get a much better idea of what happened to all the remaining guys. In this they’re like what happened to DeMarco or Hambone or Brady or (insert character here) we don’t know! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The concentration camp scene felt shoehorned in compared to how it was done in BoB. Unless that actually happened to Rosie (which i haven’t heard anything about) but it was just like.. ok? It all felt so rushed and emotionless to me. Maybe I’ve just fallen out of love with MoTA but it’s been downhill for me since episode 6 or so.
i already made a little (read: long) post-finale write-up here, where i talk about the use of the tuskegee airmen, l'sandra, and overall editing/pacing issues i felt the show had. but i don't agree with the notion that adding the redtails was in any way insincere or trying to halfass being "iNcLuSiVe", i just think they suffer from this show's obvious time constraints. and to summarize what i wrote in my linked post, there's a limit to what white writers/directors/producers can do when creating a story about black people. there are some stories i'd feel uncomfortable with them telling on their own, truth be told. dee rees wasn't the sole nonwhite director, but she Was the only black one. i think she did her job well given the limitations and i appreciate that they let her direct those episodes, rather than leaving it up to a team of white people trying their best to tell a black story.
the worst i can say about the finale is that it didn't feel like That strong of finale, tho i wouldn't go as far to say it "sucked" or call it "straight up bad". i liked it plenty, it's just the weakest of the hbo war finales imo.
as for the concentration camp scene, artistic license was taken with both shows. unlike what's seen in the BoB, easy company wasn't the first to arrive at kaufering, and there's 0 mention of the all-japanese american 552nd who helped them liberate it). similarly, rosie rosenthal did assist in liberating those camps, though it would've been after the events shown this episode. idk if he saw one in that up-close way seen in this episode, but he could've (i should research this when i have time). plus, it would've felt weird Not having him acknowledge them at all. "shoe-horned" is an odd term to use here imo, as both scenes more-or-less center a jewish character (BoB's liebgott and MotA's rosie). the former show has survivors the characters can help, the latter shows no one left to help. the former has all of easy company there, the latter has rosie there all alone. rosie's scene felt deeply personal in that way. at the end of the day, both scenes are communicating different things. that doesn't make one better than the other when they aren't trying to be identical. (disclaimer, i'm not jewish, so i'd be interesting hearing from the perspective of someone who wrt whether or not they felt it was "shoe-horned")
i can understand if you've disliked the show post-episode 6 (and episode 6 was a very strong episode i'm ngl). eps 7 and 8 were weaker in many ways, even to me, so i get it. everyone's entitled to their own opinion (i'd be a hypocrite saying otherwise). just understand that this blog is run by someone who overall enjoys this show despite its flaws! basically, i encourage you to take this energy and make your own posts.
#masters of the air#hbo war#e9#asks#long post#masters of the air spoilers#mota spoilers#all the hbo war finales are different. i don't think MotA's is as strong but like#my fav hbo war show is still BoB and even Then i don't think it has a better finale than TP. and i dislike a lot of TP! like A Lot!#and Even Then we don't get a good idea about what happens to a lot of the minor-er characters in TP once they leave#anyone who isn't sledge or leckie (rip basilone) is hand-waved-'they went home'-away#not every show needs a sandlot ending w/ a voiceover going:#'[NAME] got really into the [INSERT DECADE] and no one ever saw him again' like they did to webster (rip webster)#and again! i'm mixed about the redtails. but i can Very Clearly See this show getting released without including them#which wouldve left many people (justifiably!) upset that they weren't shown when they were Literally there in the same pow camp#i'll give the hbo war team a lot of shit about a lot of things (despite the enduringly positive energy i try to keep up here)#but i Have to give MotA props for Trying. i don't see faux inclusion i just see it as not quite hitting the mark but an attempt was made#and i think that's worth Something given neither BoB or TP bothered trying#(like i think there was a missed opportunity in TP not mentioning what's happening to japanese americans on the home front)#this got away from me (i'm also opinionated) but while i can agree with you about how the show feels rushed#i do take issue with the idea that they were pretending to be inclusive. i'll blame money time and covid19 before i blame bad intention#maybe that's controversial here but it Is my blog. so.
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real rose fans would kill me for what ive done to him
#im sorry a corruption story fits him and the region so well. thats on them for making the matches feel like legit sports#i like seeing the takes on rose w his source material a lot and i enjoy the analysis of him#esp adding to his longtermism issue and how that reflects his real life counterparts#but actually. i want him to be a tiny bit worse#not bc hes evil i still need dimension to him. i still think he aids ppl as he sees fit without their input#but ourghhh that ego is what gets me#his ego is the part i have the most fun w and honestly if i had the time and energy id pick it apart from canon alone#bc yar its still v much present#gilly speaks
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There's also this dichotomy between Wanting to Care For/Wanting to be Taken Care Of. How it's so deeply ingrained, how it's an intrinsic core aspect of the personalities, here. What you've Always Known, what you're trying to unlearn, or what you cannot change. The Nature vs Nurture of it all, and in my case, the disability attached. And the key aspect, of where the one who's Taken Care Of becomes The Carer, the way you flip that on its head. Sometimes, you can't. At least, not in the way the one who Cares For does. Again, the disability. But you find ways to do it, your own way. But if you CAN'T can't? You're taken care of, regardless.
This is ALWAYS. ALWAYS something I'm thinking about but can NOT ever fully put words to.
#this is about alfonse and sharena and moe. actually.#you know how i mention from time to time alfonse just imprints on specific people.#it's tricky to parse out exactly the order of what happened here. since moe and alfonse are So Many Things to each other#but there was absolutely a degree (and still is tbh) of him imprinting on moe that exact way.#then you have the trickiness again w how that imprinting looks VASTLY different between moe and mani.#i think it goes back to the context in which he met each. the first impressions and getting to know yous#and learning that each have a different set of needs.#moe is notorious for replacing bad feelings w sex. mani is all the problems that CANNOT be 'resolved' w sex.#'different set of needs' or maybe just different ways of confronting the same issue.#they exist on a spectrum that's a continuum. they often do the exact same thing just in opposite ways.#also always just. agonizing over 'is it unfair to put alfonse in this position?' vs 'this quality is SO STRONG IN HIM#like. goes back to the Want to do this'. he actively chooses to do this.#at least. when i write him lmfao. and maybe i do take liberties...... but i try to always extract it from canon somehow.#the shrimp colors. it's always the shrimp colors w me.#lots of convoluted power dynamics happening. here. and that's not even touching on EVERYTHING#that comes w being The Summoner. who typically at least for a long time. cannot fight. but commands All This Power#and alfonse. man he was built in a lab to be a service sub. but WATCH OUT! he takes that very seriously.#moe tag#moe lore#for. the lore in the tags.
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for 7 years i have been a Plural Mob Truther
#obviously hes autistic but its true! the entire confession arc?? like to me that seals the deal#with mob observing ???% take his body and performing protective functions that mob doesnt understand#also ritsus speech... you arent a monster or something to be afraid of youre just another part of my big brother#and the mob immediately like No Thats Not Me‼️‼️#its so cool i think#the way one portrays identity is so cool...#no ???% isnt mob exactly. but ritsu correctly identifies him as his big brother too#the threat of mobs identity dissolving.. like!#just thinking about the way ritsu treats ???% kind of cements mob having a dissociative disorder to me tbhhh#IDK IT TOUCHIES MEEEE#the full acceptance of mob and his true identity by ritsu and teru. reigen and mobs perceived mutual ignorance of the true nature of each#mobs full acceptance of others as they come ultimately leads to them doing the same for him#not that ive (knowingly) experienced dissociation so major but autism comes endemic w a lot of identity issues lol
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link being in a position of authority (first mate) in post ph is so interesting is that even something he’s cut out for. with the composition and whatnot of the post ph crew its not like he has to be an actual authority figure but at the end of the day he’s higher ranked than damien and bellum. linebeck probably talks to him the most about sailing and adventuring plans and he likely gets a lot of input on what they do. he probably stays in charge of the cannon. also least assigned to swabbing the deck probably but i doubt he dislikes doing it
#post-ph#salty talks#god my tags have been a mess recently i think. rn trying to figure out post ph link’s wholr deal#its probably a mix of linebeck trusting him a lot and his experience letting him be someone to trust when it comes to what they come across#while also linebeck quietly using that role as an excuse to get him out of the longer and intensive tasks bc like. kid’s like twelve#i do think during ph linebeck trusts in links ability to take care of himself and be mature (partially out of irresponsibility/ w/e)#but post ph he wants to give him more of a break and like. take care of him in a sense return the favor. link needs some recovery time too#damien probably takes some time before really taking him seriously and would listen to him mostly bc he trusts linebeck#but does later just trust link but offers to help a lot (a little overbearing i think he has an issue of overriding ppl so to say)#(i know what i mean bjt i dont thinm its clear. im typing on moblie and have little patienxe so im not explaining)#bellum just hates it and link hates him so the first mate and the eternal swabbie just have hateful staring matches half of the time#bellum usually ignores anything link tells him to do but oncd he settles in and starts like. being more open-minded? he respects him more#in an old version aryll joined the crew for a bit but that got trashed bc she is a bit young and the groups morals have dipped#and idk what id do with her yknow. its not off the table to have her tag along for a lil but as a crew member? nah#where was i going with this. crew ranking is linebeck > link > damien > bellum#idk what actual role damien has (tbh idk if swabbie is a real thing i just see it around) generally he just helps out with stuff#he helps with repairs and stuff since hes got some relevant experience
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Ngl, I’m not entirely sure where the “Miguel and Hobie hate each other” reading comes from, when from their like. One interaction i don’t personally get the impression they think much about each other at all shdhdjfjf
Miguel seems kind of exasperated with Hobie sure, but the tone of that interaction is relatively lighthearted. It’s more of a joke that by virtue of Miguel being a stringent rule follower, Hobie not caring overly much about those rules exasperates him. And Hobie knows it annoys Miguel and thinks that’s funny, thus prodding him again with the “I’m not even here/nah still here” routine. But there doesn’t seem to be like, genuine personal anger on either side. Just an ideological divide that actualises even further when Miles’ very existence provides another answer to the overhanging stakes.
#I have like. a different post I’m writing talking abt how I think miles actually gives hobie hope and that’s an interesting way to read#their little dynamic#but for the purpose of this post - I get the impression hobie and miguel clash ideologically more so than any personal feelings for one#another on both sides. miguel is vaguely exasperated by a guy who flouts rules but he’s not pissed at him or anything#whereas hobie seems to take specific issue w the idea of having to do things a certain strict way#and this is what he cautions miles about leading up to the intro w miguel#hobie is all about asking WHY you should be a part of certain structures and systems#but I think his beef w miguel and spider society is more on the level of going I don’t like the idea of bowing down to fear of a cosmic#force and not saving people because of that and I’m preparing to dip from that structure once I’ve made a watch for Gwen so if she wants out#she can still choose to help people.#it’s more concern and critique about the harm Miguel + the society stands to perpetuate out of fear by adhering so strongly to this framewor#framework* of canon (this hobie going 😬 at the go home machine) and how that harm stands to land directly on someone like miles by virtue of#the way the system operates. and it operates that way BECAUSE of fear of canon backlash#and of course someone like hobie is going to go fuck that I don’t want to be holding off on saving people and stringently pursuing canon#conformity because I’m scared#wow I’m just detailing the other post I’m making shdhdjfjfj#but yeah the tail end of THAT stream of thought for me is that I think while hobie was disillusioned and critical of this system its#actually miles that gives him hope of being able to change it when he saves the police officer#idk. a lot of extrapolation but I like to think on why hobie agreed to join and why he stays and how he interacts w the society despite#being deeply critical of it#it’s interesting#tunes talks spiderverse
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This is so incredibly real. Like yes they’re AWFUL and they’re LOSERS but that’s not the issue we’re trying to fix here
“your characters need to be likeable” allow me to introduce you to the very worst guy who ever lived
#Hassan fakes his death for a year and doesn’t really think about the consequences#he also kills a man#and jumpstarts the rising of snger god from the cult he joined#Joanne is so mean but I’d never call her awful she’s simply just having the worst time#her girlfriend is her exact opposite and it physically pains her to hear her lie which is in her nature#her dad is her mom who killed him and took over his body and who killed her actual mom#she’s killed a lot and has to take care of her little brother who is slightly sociopathic because of how he was raised#Benjamin is his whole personal can of worms and Lee sucks but more in a loser w anger issues wau#jude is just awful generally she’s not nice#princess who doesn’t understand the amount of prissiness she gives off#she eats someone’s hand dorry#she was hungry#she hangs her father but that’s honestly the best thing she’s ever done#pez is a freak and has 3 children who do not speak to her anymore#she’s drunk medicinal alcohol when going through withdrawals and had to get saved#I have a lot of more bad people but they’re supposed to be awful#Anne sleeps with and kills a 17 year old for a cult sacrifice to conceive a child chimera who dhe absndons because she thinks he’s defective#from ages 30-47#and then posesses his body and makes him think he’s going crazy#and then she takes his boyfriend#-3/10#Malina is kind of awful#she’s just got a lot of trauma she’s working through and her chest gets tight when she has to even think about talking about her emotions#she’s started so many bar fights and then gotten mad at Leith for stopping them#Krina isn’t awful she’s just a bitch#Farah ronan and Amado r all safe because they’re all my favorites#and Lale Quinn leith and wryder from the other story#wryder is awful but he’s a 13 year old boy he’s allowed to be#my writing
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one day ill post my pokemon games + spinoffs tierlist that im slowly chipping away at and have been since, like, june or july . but i dont think people are ready
#aria talkz#tbf 'Scar/Vi was actually pretty good' isnt an unpopular take but its a popular ''controversial''(?????) take.#Yes i know about the bugs and slowdown and memory leaks yes it sucks its still a lot of fun for me#And i love the story ( esp the dlc oh my god ) and how pretty the textures are . I do not care if you dont like it . OK?#that being said the kieran battle had such a massive slowdown for me it was literally going at like 5 fps#it was frustrating but also kind of funny. i am the only person i know who seemed to have that issue tho#+ “hgss isnt that good” is more common nowadays too. But putting scar/vi and like#xy and s/m above it is probably controversial#i am literally a 3d / modern pokemon game defender. except lets go and bdsp fuck those ones.#Like i love the 2d era dont get me wrong but the starts of all of them are pretty slow and without the early global exp share its a slog#my fave 2d game has and always will be bw2 btw and has been since i was a kid. started w diamond/plat/gen 4 and pkmn stadium#rosa is me irl and i constantly imagined myself in my mindscape literally AS her which is funnier realizing i had DID later down the line.#if you squint at aria my oc / sona you can kinda see remnants of rosa#mainly the twintail hair and the pink pokeball shirt.#anyways the backtracking in HGSS at the start is so fucking abysmal and slow it kills all momentum for me#which sucks bc i think i do like hgss despite my constant trashing of it its just so hard to care enough to get past the like first hour#But like modern pokemon games gameplay loop is so much more fun bc its less slow and grindy and i heart it...#Like honestly ? If u just added the QOL to the older games ? Theyd probably be higher than or at the same lvl as the newer games for me#i love BW2. I dont even think hgss sucks ass although there are many questionable decisions in it . Its literally just.#How slow + grindy they are and the fact that theyre older so they dont have the modern games QOL stuff#which mainly means Global exp share like really early or at the start of the game i love pc anywhere too but i dont need it as much.#its also why its hard for me to play pokemon-likes like cassete beasts bc they go off of old pokemon formula . so. grindy. Sucks#Should prob put legends arceus higher on that tierlist too bc im playing it again despite 100%ing the dex#i love love love making oc ''rp'' (??) savefiles in pokemon#and like. giving what mons i catch and how i nickname them thought in context of the oc or canon im playing as#i do it any time im not doing my first playthru of a game. do it w x y a lot bc theyre super easy to restart.#im doing it in legends arceus as well w mocha and thinking ab him and how hed adapt sm. i heart aus.#can you tell im autistic about pokemon .
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i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh
#NOT COMPLAINING ABT THE MOD just personal preference im not saying the mod bc i dont want it seen as an attack but basically i like mods#that add a bit more realism while also keeping some stuff yfm... like 4 example Random example unrelated i like the idea of Having to decid#what to do with the remains of a dead sim and having the body stick around but i also like having the grim reaper appear.... so in my ideal#death mod the sim dies and then the grim reaper shows up to like. take their soul but the body stays. im not a modder so idk how possible..#also ig that kind of doesnt fully make sense since the ghosts r still afoot so ig itd just be him severing the connection btwn the body and#soul right. not taking anything... which i suppose is what he does in the basegame is he severs the connection and then takes the body w/#him. which is kind of funny. whats he need that for is it just courtesy or is he doing smtg w/ them. bc ik you get the gravestone/urn when#they die and those r the remains but like. ? he just like. conjures those doesnt he. body vanishes and then those appear. does he just#rearrange the atoms of the body into those things. bc i dont subscribe to the idea that he actually digs a hole for the corpse idt theres#anything down there bc u cn put a basement right under a grave and no issues. so i think he magics the bodies away and then either somehow#transforms those bodies into the appropriate grave marker (unclear on if theres even actually ash in the urn like is that mentioned. OR he#takes them leaves the urn and gravestone and then just has the bodies to do whatever with. WHATS HE DOING !!! is it a nice like Ill just#handle this so they dont have to (presumptuous. caring for a body is a rly important thing in many cultures and it can be a great way to#process a loss for some ppl (not all obviously. grief is very personal this is one of my autism things sry)) but ig in simnation society it#isnt that important Evidently. but idk... either hes taking them as a favor to help out/soften the blow bc obv nobody Likes seeing the grim#reaper olive sit down. connor sit down. so hes like well ill handle this. or is it something more nefarious WHTS HE DOINGG tell me. i think#funny to imagine he just teleports the body elsewhere ik he prolly just destroys it but its kind of awesome to imagine theres a giant magic#crematorium and like. a columbarium. idk why i assume cremation itd just save space in his. realm? i he has a realm. if i were him and i#didnt have a realm id be kinda pissed id call the watcher and be like heyyy um... yk. but ya i think thats cool bc i love lands of the dead#gotta be one of my favorite things (autistic) and i think its just cool to imagine a place where the remains of every person whos ever live#r kept. be that their soul as is traditional or their literal remains in this case. isnt that kind of cool.. love it. but again we probably#arent supposed to rly think abt it he prolly jut vaporizes them into nothing. i just wanted to have fun... bring a positive sort of vibe.#anyways. i would like to be able to have The body just bc i think thats cool and i think itd be awesome to have a mod that adds in more#grieving practices from around the world but obviously thatd be like. HUGEscale bc there are a millionnn different ways to grieve. and its#all so interesting to learn abt. read from here to eternity. by caitlin doughty. smiles <- it doesnt cover Everything obv but it talks abt#lot of stuff from around the world in a rly respectful way and its incredible to read abt and learn. my autism . but i genuinely love#learning abt grief and mourning and funerary practices in other cultures i rly wish that so many practices werent lost to colonization wher#ppl were forced to abandon their way of caring for their dead just bc it seemed ghoulish or barbaric or whathave you to the missionaries et#idk. id put death it up there with food as one of the biggest cultural signifiers...i cant continue the tag limit. wtvr. u get it
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