#i think the conclusion makes sense to come to but i really love that the project allows for so much gray area and deliberation :')
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thanos fluff hcs pls ?
Thanos/Choi Su-bong - Headcannons
Synopsis: fluffy thanos headcannons..
A/N: i have so many thanos requests i'm tweaking out !! glad to know i'm not the only one who loves him..
Warnings: none just thanos being a cutie :3
➠ Thanos might be a little unhinged but he’s actually a total sweetheart when it comes to his partner
➠ I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again, he always has an arm around you !! he likes touching you in public because he’s very open and proud of you
➠ I’m ngl.. He probably sleeps on top of you
➠ Somehow, you two go to sleep with you on top of him, his arms around your waist, and then the next morning you wake up with him on top of you practically crushing you
➠ If he wakes up before you he’s going to coax you awake with neck kisses for the record
➠ If you’re both in the squid games, he’s always right next to you. He will never leave your side and he will make sure you’re safe !!
➠ If you almost get killed then he totally dips from the game and decides the money isn’t worth it
➠ To him, you are everything
➠ On a different note, he makes far too many raps about you !!
➠ He’s always talking about how he’s so deeply in love with you and how you’re so pretty and it’s so god damn corny but he refuses to stop
➠ Sometimes he even freestyles out of nowhere
➠ (probably freestyle rapped at your wedding)
➠ Honestly likes playing with your hair and like twirling the strand of hair between his fingers..
➠ He does NOT care if it's corny, he has matching rings with you far before he even proposes to you
➠ He really really really loves matching with you !!
➠ He probably gained a sixth sense with you too
➠ Like the typa sense that makes him hand you a tissue right before you feel a sneeze coming on
➠ Everyday with him is also super fun because he's always taking you out to places
➠ Parks, clubs, concerts, beaches- literally anywhere with you because he every place is his favorite place if you're there
➠ In conclusion, he's an absolute sweetie who adores you and wouldn't trade you for anything !!
"Yo, senorita! Did you miss me?" the familiar voice of your boyfriend calls out as he skips toward you. He throws an arm over your shoulder and pulls you close to him with a smirk. Despite the confident smirk, his eyes told a different story of vulnerability and trust. "I was thinking I could take you out on a nice little date. Treat my girl, yeah?"
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soft gaon thoughts 💭
· get ready to handle the silliest goofiest bf ever
· i feel like you guys know alllll of each other's references and jokes. same sense of humor, too
· he'll text you some shit like
· "Shrimp���🦐🦐!!!" at 2 am
· you just reply "real"
· "☺️"
· i feel like you're both strange. but i love that for you
· MUSIC. this guy is always humming a tune or making up a little song about something super mundane...
· "im washing the dishes 😎 im washing the dishes yeah uh huh😎" (i imagine he's doing a little dance to go along with it, like a dork)
· "... jiseok what are you doing."
· you know exactly what he's doing. it has become background noise at this point
· it depends on how he's feeling but sometimes if you catch him doing something really silly he just goes completely still and silent exactly where he's standing and you guys have a very tense staring contest until one of you guys breaks
· in that way he's always trying to make you laugh, your face constantly hurts from how much smiling you do when you're around him!!!!
· and unlike a certain maknae i think he'd let you win things most of the time.
· if he's tickling you to mess around with you, and you need to break free, you totally get back at him by pressing your cold hands against his neck and laugh as he shrieks and pretends like he just got fatally wounded in a war
· "y/n.... how could you........" (HE LITERALLY STARTED IT??)
· he dramatically rolls his eyes back and crumbles to the floor???
· and when you get up to pull him up after he pretended to literally die, YOU GET PULLED INTO HIM FOR ANOTHER ATTACK
· this was indeed the last time he'd ever attempt this because he has also neglected to remember he is also very very ticklish.
· there has to be a study on why he likes to wrestle you so bad when he also claims he's fragile and delicate if you fight him back too hard.
· other than that you've probably won every thumb war, rock paper scissors, and tag match against him at a ratio of 9999:0.
· sure he can get competitive sometimes but he's weak and likes to see you cheer out of excitement when you win ("it's too cute ..." he thinks) even if you know it wasn't a tough battle to begin with.
· and on the off chance he DOES win you get what you want in a roundabout way anyway.
· you don't know how he comes up with some of his insanely convoluted conclusions to justify you getting what you want even if he was the one that won but y'know. he's head over heels for you
· maybe it's because while he is very silly, he's also Incredibly Smart
· you both always have really deep, insightful questions and discussions. about anything, from your favorite movie and why, an exact numerical scale of what counts as "too salty" or "too sweet" to every individual, if trees have feelings, if spongebob would survive living in seoul, or if the fish from shark tales is really that sexy
· i think he aims to spend meaningful time with you since he's so busy, and picking apart each other's brains is a very deep form of bonding to him as someone who's constantly meeting others in a fast-paced, unpersonalized way and also values good discussion
· he likes to go a little slower around you, in all ways. i feel like he's usually moving really fast, both physically and mentally, going from photoshoot to band practice to home, or thinking of everything that's next and what's passed
· when he's with you he really savors that time. he feels at ease when you're around, giving him a little break from everything to just be himself. your presence means so much to him
· he wants you to feel the most safe and loved ever when you're with him and to do so he always always wants to know your thoughts and views and boundaries. you've never once felt ignored or dismissed by him, and he's always taking your side into consideration even if you guys get into rare arguments
· back to being a DORK he sometimes will kiss your cheek with a LOUUUUD kiss noise, going MWAAAHH >3< (yes with the exact face)
· or he'll hug you from behind and sway you a bit
· or rest his chin on your head when you're cuddling watching a movie and gently thrum his fingers on your arm out of habit
· he's just so silly and in love with you and is NOT afraid to show that.
· loves the sound of your laugh the most. could listen to it all day. would go to Great Lengths in order to make you smile and luckily it doesn't take much when he's around :]
· seriously the cutest pair in the world
#RETURN OF THE SOFT THOUGHTS SERIES!!#im sorry for being so dead lately guys 😭#in all honesty i have been writing but i keep dropping it/getting writing block halfway through#doing my best tho 💪#xdh imagines#xdinary heroes imagines#xdinary heroes x reader#xdh x reader#gaon x reader#gaon fluff#also sorry if this is long and got too abstract i am alittleee tipsy rn but its okay hi guys#— plutoenjoyer 𓇬
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Hey so I thought of this idea so I’m just gonna ramble about it (very rough idea as I’m writing while I’m thinking pretty much so expect it to not be completely fleshed out)
I’m imagining of a fic set post s2e9 where Vi finds out Jinx faked her death and she stays up endless nights thinking about what Jinx’s motives were for faking her death, where Jinx could be, whether she should try to go out and find her, whether it’d be worth trying to rekindle things with her if she were to find her, whether she actually feels safe in Piltover with Caitlyn, whether her and Caitlyn’s relationship was just built on a matter of convenience and trauma bonding or if there’s something actually there, the continuous guilt of being a “class traitor” outcasting her from from being able to ever reconnect with community in Zaun, if it’s worth all the prejudice and alienation she continues to feel from the Pilties no matter how much she tries to assimilate herself for the sake of Caitlyn, what love really looks like for her, what love does she desire most, while she can see reasoning in giving up the fight in a more literal sense is it still worth giving up the fight in a more figurative sense?
Vi starts to emotionally invest in her and Caitlyn’s relationship less which Caitlyn takes notice of VERY quickly and causes an array of arguments between the two. Vi then turning towards reconnecting with Ekko (which is initially met with reasonable resistance from Ekko’s end at first), eventually they both confide in each other in regards to Jinx, Vi getting more insight to where Jinx was at mentally after Isha’s death, and both give each other advice and when it comes to whether Vi should go to find Jinx what is said ultimately is;
“In the end it is up to you to figure out what you want and to know there is no real expectation in terms of whether it will work out in your favour. You also have to accept the possibility that she might not want the same thing as you and that you’ll be okay with that. And it’s also a matter of who you are at your core and who you feel the most like yourself with, what do you want to achieve in life for yourself. What interests you? Would you rather want to make an impact on the collective in your lifetime, making an impact on those you deem closest, or do you want to make an impact on yourself?”
This answers some of Vi’s queries but leaves others still open.
Due to Vi and Sevika now being in closer proximity to eachother in Piltover due to Sevika employing the council seat, while reconnecting with Ekko she simultaneously tries to alleviate bad blood and connect with Sevika. Again, initially met with reasonable resistance from Sevika’s end, they eventually come to meet in the middle. Confiding in eachother and Vi gaining more insight to Sevika’s motivations when it comes to Zaun and discovering what led to Jinx becoming who she is now during those 7 years Vi wasn’t there. Sevika in turn, also gets advice on leadership from Vi. Also again, when it came to the big question, her and Sevika also came to the same conclusion.
With her and Caitlyn, however, things continue to not get any better. Fights becoming more and more constant.
To Caitlyn, Vi is changing, and not in a way she’s ready to accept at this point in time and becomes insecure in the state of their relationship. Because without Vi to keep her in check of what life is really like outside the sheltered bubble she still resists to step out of herself, she’ll have no idea who she is, she fears having to be properly violently confronted with the consequences of her actions. She knows who a Kirramman is but who is Caitlyn? The closest she’s ever gotten to being able to find that out is with Vi.
So in response to all of her fears coming to the surface she acts out irrationally, becoming possessive and entitled to Vi in some ways in efforts to try and salvage the relationship which Vi doesn’t take to lightly.
As Vi has more time to think about things, she reflects and gains belief that there could be better opportunities in life out there for her. That it’s okay to act in accordance with what you believe you want and is best for yourself rather than solely for others. That stability isn’t easy to find and shouldn’t have to sacrifice/ignore parts of yourself to settle and there’s a whole lifetime to figure shit out. Vi is only 23 after all, it doesn’t have to be forever.
So after yet another argument with Caitlyn (who is starting to ultimately lose hope), Vi makes the decision that she’s had enough, going to try to find herself. And she’s adamant that as long as she stays in Piltover, she’s not going to be able to do so, nor is going back to Zaun an option.
She needs to escape. And that is what she does that night while Cait is asleep, leaving with no other trace than an apologetic and sentimental letter. Making sure to not give information on where she intends to go for the better.
Using all the memories she can muster of her dad teaching her how to use a boat and navigation when she was a young kid, she goes off before dawn and sets sail towards a place completely foreign to Vi and what she’s grown up with….
Bilgewater.
To make money to get by, she gets a job as a cellarman in a small, cozy bar with complimentary accommodation. A fresh start.
Although.
Who waltzes into her life? None other than…
Miss Sarah Fortune.
#arcane#arcane season 2#vi arcane#vi#miss sarah fortune league of legends#miss sarah fortune#miss fortune#sarah fortune
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Rookanis angst, anyone? (✿◠‿◠)
#rookanis#dragon age the veilguard#lucanis x rook#lucanis dellamorte#rook thorne#dragon age#oc: ghilasara thorne#I tag as I intend to commit to ACTUALLY posting about her and not just rotating her in my head#well maybe if I feel like exposing myself to the society#either way I go a little feral thinking about whatever must have been going through Lucanis's head while Rook was missing#the idea of Lucanis being so adamant about *not* hoping for Rook's return comes from his comment about romanced blighted Neve btw#and it makes sense for him honestly - he has already lost so much can he really commit to the risk of losing Rook *twice*#first time for real and second time to false hope#in conclusion: your honour I love them and have sosososo many thoughts about them#veilguard spoilers
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It makes me sad when people read the Milgram vote percentages as if it's saying characters are "more deserving" of a verdict with a higher percentage. A big ratio number doesn't mean we really think they deserve that verdict, maybe everyone who voted for that outcome just barely came to that decision. It's showing the ratio of final decision of the fan base, not the strength of their opinions...
I just feel like it dumbs down/ignores so much of the complex reflection that goes on for a lot of fans. Maybe some people vote with 100% of their spirit, but for a lot of people it's an interesting and complex choice that may be made hesitantly because of all the factors at play
#when people assume fans love decisive characters more than the close call characters its doing a disservice to how complex the latter are#and how exciting those votes can be#does it count as vagueblogging if i cant even remember the original posts that inspired it? this is drafted from months ago lol 😅#and i dont mean it harshly at all!#i think the conclusion makes sense to come to but i really love that the project allows for so much gray area and deliberation :')#the numbers cant be taken at face value#milgram#rose posts
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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the way prince's gambit depicts the "attraction -> attachment -> acceptance of Having Feelings -> crush -> private acceptance of love" pipeline is way too fucking real
#damen and i attended the same school of down bad-ism#i also attended classes with laurent but i'm not nearly as good at denial#capri#lamen#prince's gambit#also note how i said private#bc i really like how much time this series takes for characters to kinda come to these conclusions on their own between the lines#like i don't even think there's a spoken love confession?#bc it's not necessary#they know. we know.#i feel like capri is just as much about damen and laurent individually learning what love is and allowing themselves to have it#as it is a story about them falling in love#if that makes sense
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most annoying thing about being me is that i cannot engage with like. any fanon shit about dennis because i'm constantly on some advanced derangement and the stuff i thought two years ago when i was first getting comfy in the fandom is still the way everyone else looks at dennis but i'm like. yes but its Worse than this. you're like a quarter of the way there. this isn't the interesting bit, this is a symptom of it, keep going.
#ada speaks#i tried reading fic. i got probably 5 minutes in and was like hm i dont think i can do this#it doesnt like. piss me off. it just also does not interest me in the least#that post going around the other day got me thinking too like fjsmbfkfkj#i think maybe macbrain often causes ppl to come to the wrong conclusions too but 🥴#like i see so many people apply the same logic that makes sense with mac to dennis and it's like whoa. wait a minute. huh??#we're doing the catholic guilt thing here with him...? you think he's got a complex with that?#you think den's been anything other than openly queer since the show began ?? jdehkbfjkherbfjh i dont know man. where are you getting that.#dennis' shit is so far removed from anything else i think you NEED to understand him in a vacuum before applying individual circumstances#ie. when trying to understand dennis' behaviour Around Mac i don't actually think it has much to do with mac at all#or at least nowhere near as much as ppl give him credit for lol#he's just. like that. he's behaving perfectly in line with himself just not. with anything else. its not that complicated really#i also don't think that he hates himself nearly as much as everyone seems to think#conversely. also nowhere near the narcissist everyone makes him out to be.#still cant get over the absolute deranged interaction i had on twitter a while back where it was like.#''dennis isnt legitimately interested in Anyone because he's too in love with himself.'' like hdksbkfngmdjshdkfjfndj LOVES HIMSELF??#first of all the SINNED system is right there and those steps and that GOAL Mean Something secondly fhkfnskjrjdkbsnsnfnfk#meanwhile i was talking about some fic concepts & hcs a while back with a friend and they were like youre straight up writing plural dennis#like. ah. yeah. victoria is an alter. somehow i've written this while being like. hm. what IS victoria to him.#these two are distinct people coexisting in this body and dennis still *exists* even after coming out and transitioning...?#but how can i even begin to talk about this when i don't agree that much of anything in canon points to this. it's like.#i dont think brian lefevre or hugh honey or his random personas are alters. its specifically victoria and a few other instances#and victoria isn't even. a thing. glenn just conveniently gave a 'canon' name to a thing i was Already conceptualizing but its? not canon#anyway golden god firefighter and victoria manager. hello. anyone. dennis and victoria co-fronting.#this is more about. IFS than DID but it's.#idgaf about the macden other ppl froth at the mouth over im inside dennis' brain poking around i find them fascinating but not like that#(there is something wrong with me)#genuinely wish i could enjoy the stuff in the tag and the stuff that showed up on my dashboard regularly this is a curse DBKSBFMF
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i think what some people don’t understand is sometimes i will be obsessed with a media and then realize a few months after the fixation leaves me that i don’t even like it that much. but there could be one character or aspect or something about it that compels me so i have to know everything about the media just so i understand everything there is to understand about that one single aspect
#this is kinda how i felt about henry oak. he still makes me a little crazy.#oak family in general actually .#but like i don’t think i’ll ever relisten to dndads#n i haven’t started the third season yet#i think the way the last season ended just felt so off to me. like it really felt like it needed a few more episodes to really come to a#a full conclusion#the whole normal and sparrow love wolf thing makes me so sad but it does make sense for how things went ? idk#n also the bbeg being willy again just kinda felt cheap to me ! another novelty packed into a season that could have been very distinct from#its predecessor! theres also so much hermy shit that just feels so. forced tragedy. idk
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childhood was spent thinking i’d go to hell and men would not love me if i swore so now to heal from that i am swearing as much as i fucking can until i come to my own fucking conclusion about how i feel regarding the usage of such crude vocabulary
#it needs to be my own decision and understanding that i do not want to swear#not because other people Told Me it’s not ladylike or im going to go to hell if i do it#if i end up deciding hey you know what i really dont like swearing then Boom i actually have a reason other than guilt and shame#because i will have been able to feel something Other than guilt and shame when swearing. if that makes sense#like instead of being consumed by guilt and shame every time i swear or think about swearing#i am able to come to it without bias and understand for myself (without guilt and shame) why it is wrong or harmful#(or rather IF it is wrong or harmful. ive not comr to my conclusion yet but you can see i still have preconceived notions about it)#and who knows maybe men wont love me after all and i will be unloved by God if i swear#then so be it because ive never known a single thing in my life without someone else telling me#i just want to figure it out and understand for myself without someone holding my hand because im too stupid to come to my own conclusion#my parents put me in a classical school so i could learn to think critically but then have removed every chance for me to think critically#because they are afraid i will make the wrong decision (even though supposedly i have learned critical thinking™)#and they didnt do that intentionally of course. and this sounds resentful but i truly dont mean it that way#i LOVE my parents and the fact that they wanted to put money into giving us good education rather than just nice possessions#they have wonderful hearts and the best of intentions. but no parent is perfect and every single one will affect their kids in some way#whether they meant to or not. or maybe they did something with good intention without realizing the harmful outcome#every day i realize that individuation is an actual thing and its not just a montage in a disney movie#froegis meep tag
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tbh i do think changeling jack would have been a better option like. first of all i think just actually sticking to the changeling plot, rather than the antagonists being the changelings and the borg in an alliance that i guess doesn’t not make sense but ultimately brushes aside the changeling stuff at the end probably would have been better, but i also think there’s some potentially interesting stuff in there. again with the caveat that this is kind of operating off of like...not totally changing the setup but trying to do something better with the same beginning.
like ok loose concept 20 years prior to ep 1 beverly picks up this kid while she’s on a mission in the wake of the dominion war and initially doesn’t know he’s a shapeshifter or anything, just that he’s a child who needs help. he’s on her ship for a while and she gets kind of attached to him, especially when he shows an early interest in medical stuff, but at some point she gets confronted by some subset of starfleet that’s after him, and it comes out that he’s a changeling who did something bad in an attempt to escape capture by starfleet and they’re here to take him back.
and like. she’s gotten to know him, and she feels protective of this kid and she believes he was genuinely acting out of fear and possibly reacting to mistreatment, whereas their charges seem. kind of questionable? they feel like the result of paranoia in the wake of the dominion war and she doesn’t trust the people that are going to bring him in to treat him fairly, and she’s already somewhat more disillusioned with starfleet than she used to be because she’s already lost one son to starfleet ideals and is starting to regard jack as another, so that questioning really gets kicked into overdrive here on a broader scale. she makes the choice to protect this kid that she’s gotten attached to and they escape, but they have to go on the run, and that’s why she’s been off the grid for so long. she raises him, and they do their medical thing, but eventually they run into trouble and she doesn’t know where else to turn, so she reaches out to picard and tells him not to involve starfleet (both because they’re potentially compromised but also because her trust in them is still not at an all time high)
and then also since that’s dealing with the dominion war and that story belongs to ds9 i would have loved to bring back sisko (probably like. as at least a 2-3 episode arc, one of which replaces the episode w/ro laren bc i love her and all but she deserved better and we could have made the points that were made there in other ways). like. put him face to face with picard for the first time since the ds9 pilot and have them reassess each other after this time. i don’t know exactly how i’d see that dynamic playing out but i think bringing them back together to try to negotiate a threat would be super interesting AND like. i would really love to see picard going to sisko for advice about fatherhood tbh. maybe picard has read jake’s work and is familiar with the fact that they have a very close relationship so in trying to bond with jack he realizes sisko could be a really good person to learn from, even if they’ve had personal struggles in the past (and even if they’re never like Friends now). idk feels like a way to bring sisko back in and give him some closure that would have worked thematically on multiple levels.
like idk i dont have a whole plot seeing as ive been thinking about this for. not very long. but by focusing more on the changeling plot and giving it personal relevance we can focus on questioning starfleet and the federation, and how having to question these things picard has dedicated his whole life to affects his identity, but ideally to me the conflict would be one that shows the potential for positive change.
#for context the answer to 'why are you writing so many long ass posts' is usually a combination of mild hypomania + writing going badly#so you can just. act on that assumption in the future lmao.#like i said in the last post i dont really like the setup but even with it there were more interesting things that could have been done#and like...idk weird changeling kid jack trying to figure his shit out in the space where the dominion war is over but people are still#kinda weird about people like him is infinitely more interesting to me than specialest borg guy jack#even if ultimately i would prefer that they just. didn't do a secret child plot at all lmao#(as a side note i dont love the ds9 episode that comes to a kind of like. well people will always just be prejudiced conclusion#but i do think there's a difference between 'that's just always how it'll be' and showing people actively making an effort to be better)#i honestly have no idea if anything i've said today makes any sense wahoo but here we are babey!!#pic#picard spoilers#san rant#changeling!jack
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#ohhhhhhh i really do dislike the tonal shift in bg2/tob so much........ and by that i mean mostly in xan's mod 😭#i mean maybe the sense of betrayal and disappointment is immersive but it really leaves me with No idea what to do with him#in my version of radri's story. like. do i do my best even with all the parts i find ooc? do i cherry pick what i want and forget the rest?#and even after all my complaints i keep thinking back to his author. the fact that somehow this is the *intended* experience#currently feeling like the necromancer who resurrected their wife and is convinced she came back wrong but who just never truly knew her#i keep going back to 'estel'amin'. the fact that xan named charname his hope--and then quickly stopped using that name for her#once her bhaalspawn nature continued to affect her life after the conclusion of bg1#so--basically--i'm to assume that he changed his mind? she's no longer his hope; his light; and if she is it's rare#he just calls her beautiful now; something far more shallow#and the fact that in tob he vacillates between subtly criticizing her for her nature which she has no control over#(and which in radri's case she has never even willingly given in to)--#and attempting to comfort her after her nature makes bad things happen to her & around her#--but then his comfort is once again undermined by the aforementioned shallow compliments#it's coming across as 'i love your body despite what you are in spirit' and really isn't a great look at all#look maybe i'm crazy but in bg1 i got the impression that he was able to accept and move past it fairly quickly#like 'ok you're a bhaalspawn so now let's move into problem solving. obviously i have to quit my job and travel with you full time'#but in bg2 he spends most of his time lamenting about how hard it must be for her to live like this#while also pointing it out as a personal flaw of hers. as if she'd had any say in who her father was#like there are npcs literally shouting 'i hate all bhaalspawn!' and here he is--supposedly her closest supporter--#also subtly saying 'i hate bhaalspawn' right to her face#when literally as a neutral alignment and as a companion of 1-2 years-- he should actually have THE most nuanced take on her???#in bg1 he says murder is unavoidable in the life of an adventurer. then in tob he comments that charname kills everyone haphazardly--#--as though in another jab to her nature. meanwhile as a constant companion he should know better than anyone that it wasn't so simple#idk. i'm almost feeling gaslighted by the narrative in a sense#because when everyone else talks about xan in bg2/tob--including charname via the dialogue options/written internal dialogue--#they say that he's ~gray~ and calm and collected and emotionless etc#meanwhile he's literally the most emotional guy in the game. like. he's freaked out SO many times#so?? how am i supposed to take anything here genuinely?? how am i supposed to engage??? SIGH#anyway today's my first day at my new job and i have to wake up in 2 hours & im certain that i'll be too nervous to eat today#my goal for today is just to not be fired 👍 12 hours from now it will be over...
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i consider myself a bit of a connoisseur of besties-turned-lovers stories but one thing that has always bothered me a little is when the besties actually become lovers and then the relationship loses all bestie-itude LIKE correct me if im wrong but i feel like these things aren’t usually mutually exclusive... i see it more often with m/f besties but i see it with same gender, etc besties on occasion too and like. YES its realistic that friendships change their dynamics over time (even without turning into lovers) but i always see this thing where these two besties get together and then are immediately like “but i CANT dick around with my bestie anymore because theyre also my significant other” you could if you werent a coward. can’t u dick around with ur bestie romantically. can’t you dick around with ur partner bestie-ly. what am i not getting here
#and i mean maybe its because i do enjoy a m/f relationship often in a very bisexual and mildly genderly sort of way#that this character relationship development style is so like. alien and bizarre to me. what am i not understanding#had pacific rim on the mind and i was thinking about some m/f besties i like. mako and whats his nuts#(sorry i really like his character but i havent seen that movie in like 7 years orz)#i really adore their relationship as besties and also i do like the fun little flirty scenes they had a couple times in the movie too#thats a m/f bestie couple i quite like in like a romantic and platonic way folded over itself. if that makes sense#i think its very sweet and awesome. mako deserves a handsome bestie to flirt with. as a treat#thank god they never removed any bestieness from their relationship. even in the goofy flirty scenes they had they were still bestieing#thank u mr del toro#wait sorry now im thinking about mixed gender besties. i love mulder and scully of course we all do#and in the three seasons ive seen ive come to the conclusion i like them in the sense that like#theyre platonic theyre romantic theyre both theyre neither theyre something else entirely#but most importantly. theyre scully and mulder LOL#its a category in and of itself. a very interesting form of besties#oh and recently ive been rewatching elementary since i never saw the past the first season#that one as of the season ive seen i adore fully and completely platonically. oh these guys are very platonic besties#only sherlock story on earth where sherlock and watson are purely platonic LOL#god their relationship is great. oh speaking of platonic im still like fascinated with that one webcome i never finished. villainess no more#i think thats what it was called. someday i'll finish it. its fun and the romance is sweet but i still like.#kinda liked their relationship more when they were just besties at first sight. marriage of convenience turned platonic besties#probably not intentional from the author. sorry. im a sucker for romance so thats kinda new for me too#theres so many variety of bestie. so many layers. its a rich artform: the bestie
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(insane post incoming) okay i've been a taylor swift re-recordings hater since the beginning but the Speak Now re-recording is making me INSANE i think it's partially just that i'm having a weird time emotionally anyway but like "Timeless" made me TEAR UP like bro WHAT like something about it being soooo essentially of that era but new like the novelty of it BONKED me over the head with a reminder of what it felt like to hear all those songs off Speak Now for the first time when i just had this IDEA of what love was & hadn't actually experienced it yet (& wouldn't for many years!!) like way before i even knew i was a lesbian just listening to taylor sing "enchanted" alone in my bedroom wondering who the guy she was singing about was & if she ever saw him again (because i was #blessed to not have internet access and therefor not know it was the dude from owl city she was singing about alsdfhaklsdhfasdh) & i remember just pouring through the little lyric booklet & its pictures & intro & mostly it was just me & the music & this picture of her in a ballgown in my head & this made up but hopeful romantic idea of what love is and like S C R E A M
#anyway i'm doing fine in case you're wondering#not to overshare but i think it's like. also because in my relationship rn we are like having to work through some things & like not even#anything out of the ordinary like just compatibility stuff that comes up for any longterm couple but we started talking about like spending#the rest of our lives together in very hypothetical way but still like really early in the relationship & now my gf is more like 'okay i#do really want to date you but i want to focus on working through these things & it feels overwhelming to talk about the longterm future rn#like not even in a way where i don't trust them & us to work through this but i'm just like. at the end of the day i guess i AM a romantic#& do have this idealized version of love that i believe in like i think that can be a bad thing (part of what kept me with my abusive hs ex#& i think it can also be a strength like i think it's NICE that i can still so clearly see & believe in a future with my gf even when we ar#working through hard stuff & when they feel overwhelmed but like. it's like is that DUMB or just like. i feel my feelings in a really inten#*intense way that i DO think is (sigh) like taylor a LITTLE BIT & it's like oh what does it mean for other people to not necessarily share#my same relationship to love like even the people you love will have a different relationship to love than you if that makes sense which li#*like duh but is also feeling like a mindfuck rn ANYWAY in conclusion i don't think my feelings are REALLY just about speak now but i DO#also think Speak Now WAS this formative text for me & represents/influenced the way i relate to love and like. SIGH. well i am thinking#about it. and i DID listen to 'timeless' on repeat & feel so emotional over it i literally felt like i was going to throw up <3#and it's objectively like not even THAT good of a song asdlfjashdfasdfahsdf#anyway hiiiii how is everyone
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god every time I think too much about this my brain wants to explode a little, but going into teaching as a nonbinary/genderqueer person is really going to be something huh
#thinking about this again tonight bc in one of my grad classes today we were all gendered as minus the one guy in the group#like during discussion someone (who i do love) was like. well I think because everyone here idenfities as a woman etc etc#and the other day in a different class my prof was talking about the demogroahics of the class in the same way relating it to teaching#how we were all the except the guy women etc etc#and there are so many other examples and ive been wondering like...how is this possible#and how does this happen so foren bc like#my cohort is very tiny and weve all been in classes for years together and most i know really well AND an out too#and my profs are lovely and know my pronouns#and this has never happened to me in other classes before to this level let alone with people i know so well#but i think ive come to the conclusion that these are all teaching spaces and people just dont think of teachers as gender diverse at all#like even the most well meaning progressive people in literal educational justice classes just it does not occur to them as a possibility#in our class but also just in general#and we talk so much about other stuff but it constantly feels like people are leaving this out the equation#anyway this probably makes zero sense#but i am just. thinking thoughts and need to put them somewhere.#its just fascinating#teaching#nonbinary#queer
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Hi. This is my first time writing arequest so i dont really know what im doing but i love your husband sukuna series and i wanna ask for a husband sukuna with a shy baby daughter bc your sukuna is 🤌
reluctance — ryomen sukuna x f!reader
a/n: so glad you like my husband!sukuna works <33 hope this one is to your liking as well MWUAH 🫶
“come on, d/n,” you coax gently.
your daughter, barely two years old, shakes her head from behind your legs, her tiny hands clutching the fabric of your kimono as she hides from the imposing figure of her father.
sukuna stands at the doorway, his arms crossed, his usual stern expression in place.
“she’s still hiding?” sukuna raises an eyebrow, his deep voice filling the room, though it isn’t harsh.
you kneel, gently petting your daughter’s head, “she’s shy. you know how she gets when you’re around.”
sukuna exhales slowly. he observes your daughter quietly. wide-eyed but cautious, her tiny fingers tightening their grip on you. your daughter was notably quite soft.
it didn’t help that her father, sukuna, didn’t exactly have the most inviting presence.
“come here,” he says, his tone gruff, holding out a hand.
the little girl hesitates, her bottom lip trembling slightly. you place a reassuring hand on her back and whisper softly, “it’s okay” you smile, “that’s your dad; he won’t hurt you.”
at your words, sukuna looks down at your daughter, his daughter.
she looks up at you, then back at sukuna. with the smallest shuffle, she takes one step toward him then sees him quirk an eyebrow which makes her quickly retreat, still unsure.
sukuna clicks his tongue, while you giggle. your daughter clings harder onto you at the sound of his disapproval.
“she sure is jumpy,” he says, stretched hand moving to rest on his hips, “how the hell is that my daughter?”
“ever studied biology?”
“do not get smart with me,” he warns, but his threats have long lost their effect on you.
the little interaction gives your daughter a sense of familiarity, seeing you talk so easily with him. with some courage finally mustered, your daughter blinks up at sukuna, her small voice barely audible as she mumbles, “papa...?”
sukuna’s sharp gaze relaxes just the faintest bit at the sound of her voice, “yes. I’m right here.”
she stares for another moment, before she toddles over to him. she stumbles and holds desperately onto his legs. she looks up at him, and he gives her no reaction.
your daughter takes that as a good sign, and she looks back at you with sparkly eyes.
“there you go,” you laugh, standing up. “see? not so bad.”
sukuna looks at your daughter, then back at you, “you coddle her too much.”
you fold your arms with a playful smirk, “she’s two. she’s allowed to be coddled a little.”
“she’ll be stronger if she learns early.” sukuna’s voice is firm. she is clinging to him now, a little less hesitant as she begins to tug at his kimono.
she lets out small mumbles as she tries to gain his attention.
"uh-huh, sure," you tease, stepping closer and placing your hand on his forearm, "you’re so tough, honey. maybe we should get her a little curse to toughen her up. would that make you happy?"
he scoffs but doesn’t answer, his attention flicking back to the girl holding onto him. you could see the faintest hint of something in his expression, though it wasn’t something he would ever acknowledge verbally.
for some reason, the scene of his daughter faced with a curse, at least in this age, doesn’t particularly please him.
her eyes are soft. her entire being is. there is no way that she would survive, and knowing his little daughter, she will burst into tears the moment the curse appears. that conclusion makes him think.
he stays silent, before he finally mutters, "never mind. she's fine the way she is.”
you beam at his words and pull his face down to place a kiss on his cheek, “aww, you are going soft, yay!”
“I will kill you,” he sneers, but then he feels his daughter raise her arms. he looks down at her with a scowl, “what do you want, you brat?”
the tone makes her flinch back, but then she tightens her fist and stutters, “u-up!”
“you and your mother are insolent,” he side-eyes you, and you raise your hands in surrender. his eyes flick back to her, “you ordering me around?”
her eyes start to water, but she tries to persevere, “up…?”
your husband groans and bends down to pick her up. the way he gives into her demands is sweet in its own way.
it would make you laugh, if he didn’t pick you up in process which instead makes you gasp. now, both you and your daughter are carried—effortlessly—in his arms.
you smile widely at your husband, while he avoids looking at you. sukuna instead looks at you daughter. he then asks, “are you happy now?”
your daughter stares silently at him, and he stares at her back. in the midst all this staring, your daughter realizes something: her dad has a second face.
her lips start quivering, and she raises her hands to cover her face as she starts bawling and wailing
“ugh, why is she crying now?” your husband groans, irked by the sudden loud noise.
“your face probably scares her.”
“I hate kids.”
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