#i think ted is definitely TRYING as much as he can

[coachbeards]

Ted is hard to love. He's pushy and he doesn't connect with people and he's just a whole lot. He's just too much at times.

and that’s definitely something he’s working on!!!!!! it’s never anything he means to do, he thinks he’s doing the right thing,,, it’s why sharon should’ve continued to be a focal point in season three bc. he def was not done in therapy

[thelassoway]

Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso » Ted Lasso 3.01 Smells Like Mean Spirit

[variousqueerthings]

havin some overall Thots about ted lasso, but may wait until the finale next week to fully get them out there. nothing that i haven't seen being said about this season, which is that the pacing is very odd, and i remember being surprised way back when it was announced that it was going to be three seasons and not four. i do not fully believe that it was intended to be three in the way the creators have said. feels more like something out of necessity, than the best way to tell the story, which, i wouldn't have anything against that if that was the case, i fucking love the sense8 final movie for existing, although i know/one can see that it had to tie some very fast knots and drop a bunch of potential storylines -- this final season feels similar. id prefer a rushed ending to no ending at all, if that's the way the tv-landscape looks (and these days it really does look like that as we know).

i can see how they've gotten to the conclusions of multiple of the storylines, but the methods used to get there have been uneven. but that is interesting, may wanna poke at it some more after the final episode. overall this has been a pleasant journey to go on though. i feel very warmly about these characters and the ethos of the show.

[chansaw]

i read donald sutherland’s letter to gary ross pleading for the role of president snow and was so struck by his eloquence, wit, and humor. i’m posting it in full below. what a loss </3

Dear Gary Ross:

Power. That's what this is about? Yes? Power and the forces that are manipulated by the powerful men and bureaucracies trying to maintain control and possession of that power?

Power perpetrates war and oppression to maintain itself until it finally topples over with the bureaucratic weight of itself and sinks into the pages of history (except in Texas), leaving lessons that need to be learned unlearned.

Power corrupts, and, in many cases, absolute power makes you really horny. Clinton, Chirac, Mao, Mitterrand.

Not so, I think, with Coriolanus Snow. His obsession, his passion, is his rose garden. There's a rose named Sterling Silver that's lilac in colour with the most extraordinarily powerful fragrance — incredibly beautiful — I loved it in the seventies when it first appeared. They've made a lot of offshoots of it since then.

I didn't want to write to you until I'd read the trilogy and now I have so: roses are of great importance. And Coriolanus's eyes. And his smile. Those three elements are vibrant and vital in Snow. Everything else is, by and large, perfectly still and ruthlessly contained. What delight she [Katniss] gives him. He knows her so perfectly. Nothing, absolutely nothing, surprises him. He sees and understands everything. He was, quite probably, a brilliant man who's succumbed to the siren song of power.

How will you dramatize the interior narrative running in Katniss's head that describes and consistently updates her relationship with the President who is ubiquitous in her mind? With omniscient calm he knows her perfectly. She knows he does and she knows that he will go to any necessary end to maintain his power because she knows that he believes that she's a real threat to his fragile hold on his control of that power. She's more dangerous than Joan of Arc.

Her interior dialogue/monologue defines Snow. It's that old theatrical turnip: you can't 'play' a king, you need everybody else on stage saying to each other, and therefore to the audience, stuff like "There goes the King, isn't he a piece of work, how evil, how lovely, how benevolent, how cruel, how brilliant he is!" The idea of him, the definition of him, the audience's perception of him, is primarily instilled by the observations of others and once that idea is set, the audience's view of the character is pretty much unyielding. And in Snow's case, that definition, of course, comes from Katniss.

Evil looks like our understanding of the history of the men we're looking at. It's not what we see: it's what we've been led to believe. Simple as that. Look at the face of Ted Bundy before you knew what he did and after you knew.

Snow doesn't look evil to the people in Panem's Capitol. Bundy didn't look evil to those girls. My wife and I were driving through Colorado when he escaped from jail there. The car radio's warning was constant. 'Don't pick up any young men. The escapee looks like the nicest young man imaginable'. Snow's evil shows up in the form of the complacently confident threat that's ever-present in his eyes. His resolute stillness. Have you seen a film I did years ago? 'The Eye of the Needle'. That fellow had some of what I'm looking for.

The woman who lived up the street from us in Brentwood came over to ask my wife a question when my wife was dropping the kids off at school. This woman and her husband had seen that movie the night before and what she wanted to know was how my wife could live with anyone who could play such an evil man. It made for an amusing dinner or two but part of my wife's still wondering.

I'd love to speak with you whenever you have a chance so I can be on the same page with you.

They all end up the same way. Welcome to Florida, have a nice day!

sourced from this article

[earlgreylatte]

2V1

In which you stand no chance against them.

Hal Jordan and Barry Allen

You were going to die. You were definitely going to die.

Writhing against the binds Hal constructed did little to let you escape Barry’s fervent mouth. You lost count on the number of orgasms the speedster ripped out of you, vibrating his tongue and fingers in a way that had you seeing stars. You’re not sure how a training session devolved into the two men trying to see how many orgasms they could wring out of you. This was not you intended your endurance training to go, but you couldn’t deny you were being pushed to your every limit.

Hal, using his ring, had kept you on the edge for what felt like hours, mercilessly teasing you with his fingers, forcibly keeping your body still with his constructs, the only thing you could do was cry and tremble. You nearly sobbed in relief when sweet Barry felt guilty enough to step in, kissing your thighs apologetically before pressing his mouth against your mound, eating you out like a men possessed. But now you were shaking and sobbing for a different reason as the man refused to even come out for air.

“You were so desperate earlier, begging to come, but now you want to tap out, sweetheart?” Hal crooned, watching you break again as he languidly strokes himself. “After Bar gives you exactly what you asked for?”

The man tsks mockingly as Barry nips at you, eliciting a yelp from you.

“Don’t focus on him, just let me take care of you, honey, I want you to feel good,” Barry murmurs, blue eyes gazing at you with a striking intensity as he moves up your body, peppering you with open mouthed kisses until he’s able to mouth at the pulse point on your neck.

Hal barks out a laugh, “You’ll spoil her like that.”

His suit dematerializes, revealing him in his full nude glory as he approaches your laid form with a smug smirk as you try not to gawk at his size.

“After all, you still owe us, don’t you, baby?”

Booster Gold and Ted Kord

Earlier you had insisted you could handle it. You were more than ready. Honestly, how hard could it be, you joked.

But as Ted began to slowly penetrate you from behind, you realize you might have bitten off more than you could chew.

Letting out a shaky moan, your head falls forward onto Booster’s shoulder, who nuzzles his cheek against your hair, “Just breathe, you’re doing so good.”

You can only whimper pathetically, panting at how overwhelmingly full you felt. You hear Ted groan into your ear, hands flexing against your hip.

“Almost there,” he grunts before letting out a hoarse laugh, “Might not last long with the way you’re gripping me.”

“‘Think that’s my line,” you mumble, keeping your face pressed against Micheal’s shoulder, before flinching away when you feel him twitch inside you.

“MJ!” You scold halfheartedly, keeping your eyes shut lest you finish embarrassingly quick.

“You’re both so hot,” he groans out, strands of blond hair sticking against his forehead.

Ted chokes out a laugh, sliding his hands up to grope your breasts, having finally bottomed out. “Let’s try not to make this into a fastest orgasm contest.”

“Don’t know if anyone is going to beat your record,” Booster teases you, kissing your forehead, as you try to shoot him a teary glare.

“Just shut up and move already—ah!” You are promptly cut off when Micheal sharply thrusts into you before laughing again.

“Don’t be in such a rush, we have all night to leave you in bed for the next week,” The blond hums, bringing a hand down to rub at your clit causing your breath to hitch.

“Besides, you look cute when you’re stuffed by our dicks…want to savour it, right Teddy?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t let him tease you…too much,” Ted whispers in a mock conspiratorial tone as his grip on your chest tightens.

Yes, you may have bitten off more than you could chew.

Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle

After dumping Bruce, you hadn’t expected another of his ex lovers to approach you nor did you expect for her to make advances towards you. But you count yourself grateful, knowing that the bat’s other lovers would have rather put a blade to your throat. And there was something undeniably alluring about her, something that left every one of her actions demanding your total attention.

And it was nice to talk shit about your mutual ex.

So, it wasn’t a surprise to when you found yourself drowning in her arms, every stroke and graze being devastatingly intentional, leaving you to completely submit to her whims. Not that you minded. What you did mind was when Bruce suddenly entered through your hotel room’s window while Selina had three fingers in you.

It was almost funny seeing the detective visibly stiffen in shock, seemingly out a loss for words, “I…I thought—“

“You know I don’t spend all my time stealing. Maybe you should spent more time out of that cowl too,” Selina smirks, still not removing herself out of you, only pressing more weight against your body when you squirm.

“Well, might as well stay for the show,” Selina jerks her head toward the armchair next to the window, “God knows you haven’t been getting any since you let this one go.”

You almost laugh at the woman’s boldness before she bends her fingers in a way that having you letting out a shaky moan.

“Eyes on me, sweet girl, let’s show the bat how a lady should be treated,” She purrs.

You quickly find yourself forgetting about Bruce until you hear the sound of his belt clinking and a quiet moan.

Huntress and Question

Honestly, you must have a penchant for attracting weirdos, you think, as you find your days consisting of a certain anti hero and conspiracy buff glued to your side.

Both were, without a doubt, nut cases; Helena, with her too knowing gaze and sharp tongue, and Vic’s muttering and faceless mask making the duo a bit odd in the eyes of others. But the two weren’t all bad. Helena always looked out for you, ready to come to your defence without question, even if it meant threatening people with her crossbow. Vic had a knack for remembering the most obscure details you’ve shared and always knew what you needed with just a glance.

Really, they weren’t as bad as people made them out to be.

However, you promptly withdraw any kind word you’ve said about the two of them when you’re left at their mercy.

You squirm against Vic’s lap, his grip on your naked waist unrelenting, as his erection presses against your rear as Helena tightly sucks your clit, ripping a strangled yelp from you. You’re sure you would have jumped out of Vic’s lap if not for his hold on you.

“Aww, you’re so cute, never had anyone lick this pretty pussy before?” Helena laughs before pressing her tongue against your folds as you let out a cry.

You feel Vic’s thankfully unmasked face nuzzle against your neck, “Based on her reactions and lack of any evidence of a former lover in my investigation—“

“Q!” You complain, feeling your face heat up before moaning when Helena slides a finger in you without warning.

“What have I said about names?” She scolds you with a twinkle in her eyes.

“A bit unfair considering you’re both still in costume,” you pant.

“I wouldn’t call my coat a ‘costume’—”

“Shut up, Q.”

Really, they weren’t that bad.

Yeah, wouldn’t be surprised if this was the first helenavic threesome fic LMAOO actually I will now take this as fact without verifying, it is my badge of honour…also I really put b in that chair lol… Masterlist

This is how rip hunter was conceived btw!!

[hunterrrs]

another sidnate love fest on SC ("he could be 50 and i'd still slide over" - said by man who fucked that old man) (plus he loves mitchy SO MUCH and wants to do a timmies commercial with him, sid and marchy causing Trouble)

Q: I was actually gonna ask you, now that you’re the reigning MVP, you used to have to go over to Sid’s gym all summer long. It was the older one, you spent all this money for the new upgraded one. Now that you’re the MVP does he have to come train with you? How does that work?

A: No, no, it doesn’t work like that *laughs* (You’re still getting bullied?) Oh yeah. Still going to his gym. All good. He’s 20 years in the league, so… Yeah. I train with Batheson so I make him come to my gym. He makes me feel better about myself, so… that’s what I do.

Q: What did you say to Sid when he took 8.7, did you know that was coming?

A: Yeah, I mean *laughs* I remember, like, in July I was like, man, you’re not gonna sing for 8.7. Like c’mon. He’s like, ah, I don’t know, we’ll see. It’s so cool though, the legacy he’s leaving. How much money is left on the table and his desire to still win. He’s still taking less to try and get somebody else this year and next year.

Q: As somebody who’s always looked up to him, he’s 37 now, he’s still doing it. That’s gotta not only amaze you but also kinda inspire you a little bit. Does that surprise you that he’s still doing it or not at all, knowing him?

A: Man, you should see this guy in the summer. My workouts are like a joke. The recovery summers I do, and he is just grinding. He just grinds. He loves it, I think. I think it’s also awesome, not that he wouldn’t be motivated having this Four Nations thing, and then the Olympics. So no matter what happens, he’s got two things to look forward to and be dialled in for and I think being the captain of Canada, I can’t imagine the pressure to be at your best. He’s ready. He looks amazing, All the guys on the ice, it’s amazing he’s 37. He doesn’t look 37.  (Because he doesn’t have kids!) *laughs* Must be the key.

Q: Did you actually have a cereal released in 2021 called MacKinnon Crunch?

A: I did. Frosted flakes. I picked the flavour though, I liked that. (Was that right before you got your deal with Tim Hortons, became a server at their restaurant?) That was 2015. (Do they have you do that same thing every summer?) We haven’t done that since then. We’ve always wanted to do one where we get Marchy in there just because we’re Nova Scotians, and he’s being a rat and messing up people’s orders, and we gotta like sit him down and tell him what to do. They haven’t done that yet. Marchy needs to be nicer on the ice to be more marketable.

Q: Would that be your dream line for the Four Nations? Yourself, Sid and Marchand?

A: That would be cool. (You’d play the wing?) Oh yeah. Yeah, I’m ready for the wing. Definitely. McDavid, Sid, one-two punch. And then everyone kinda figures it out. (In a room like that you’d essentially delegate to McDavid?) You’re not putting McDavid on the wing, that’s crazy! I don’t mind right wing, I’ve played wing, I’m comfortable there and I don’t know if those two have ever played wing. I’m sure they could easily figure it out. They’re two of the smartest players ever. But I think to have those two guys a one-two punch and then if I’m third line centre that’s cool, if I’m playing on McDavid’s right.

Should I tell Sid to go to the wing, do you think? (“I’ve been working at your gym all these years. I’m the Ted Lindsay winner and the MVP. I gotta get something out of this relationship.”) Yeah, I think he could be 50 and I’d still slide over. No problem. Being on a Nova Scotia line it would be really cool. I think we’d work well together too. The way Marchy plays he’s just gonna muck, forecheck, and then Sid’s Sid, and I can try to push the pace.

Q: You said you went to Europe this summer…

A: It’s just relaxing. Just get off the grid. I was definitely tempted to go to Worlds last year. Sid was bugging me and Schenner bout it. (Saying what, if you go, I’ll go?) Yeah. So we were all gonna go, but then I was just like man, I just played 105 games, just lost to Dallas. At this point I feel like I’m all in or it’s hard to go over there and like (Skate around and giggle.) It’s just tough.

Q: You skated in the summer with Marner, how’s he looking?

A: He looks awesome. You hear stuff that’s always negative, a lot of the time it’s negative and then you get on the ice with him and you’re like, how can anyone ever be negative about this? That’s why I think for me, I just admire how good he is because people chirp him a lot. Up in Vail he was sick. Him and McDavid were flying around together. It was so fun to watch.

Also, beloved health freak <3

I used to like going to Popeye’s Supplements as a kid with my dad and looking at protein powder and stuff. I don’t know. I’m just into it.

Q: We heard so much about you policing the food in the locker room. Are you still doing that? Are you still going on there, like no sugars, no sweets. Whit said you strangled Lehkonen because he ate a Snickers bar or something. Is that true?

A: Nawww, stop it. That’s not true *laughs* I’m trying to mellow a little bit for sure. I definitely see some shit and I get mad but I try to keep it to myself. I don’t know, you eat what you want but I just think when you’re at the rink, we’re the NHL, you’re a pro athlete, I think it should be healthy and good food. I just think the least you can do as a pro athlete is be in good shape.

[no-144444]

(more of)the grid: no nut Novemeber!

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Featuring: jenson button, mark webber, fernando alonso, nico hulkenberg, kevin magnussen, valterri bottas, zhou gunayu, kimi raikkonen, sebastain vettel

thank you to the person that requested this!!!

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Jenson Button: lowkey would really want to win but would just fall short 

Like yes… he could last like 15 or 20 days but… nah. Not one whole ass month. 

He would so make it a rivalry between him and Mark or something 

He would be so fucking proud of himself that he outlasted fernando. 

Weirdly into it all… like… bro calm down

He definitely set it up.

Definitely a bit grumpy during the month… like very grumpy

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Mark Webber: him and jenson should just kiss already

Mf would not SHUT UP about the rivalry between him and jenson 

At that point they should just kiss each other 

Anyway, he makes it a big deal and announces he’s doing it 

You dont gaf and he takes that personally

He is a little bit grumpy

Only cares about beating jenson 

When Jenson admits he lost he fucks you silly. 

I mean hours on end. No breaks. Insanity. 

Freaky freaky gal. 

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Fernando Alonso: does not even participate 

No.

He will not. 

He does not care. 

He won’t, end of story. 

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Nico Hulkenberg: winner!

If he can’t get a podium or a win now, he’s winning a dumb challenge to make himself feel better! 

He knows it's dumb but he’s so disciplined about it that you start to wonder if he knows how dumb it is. 

He feels very accomplished when he wins 

Also very much enjoys the prize money

ALSO fucks u silly at the end of the month to ‘make up for it’. 

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Kevin Magnussen: …prolly not

This freaky gal enjoys a challenge, but genuinely thinks they are all insane for doing this. 

I mean come on… he had a child nine months after his pole position in Brazil…

No, you’re his wife, he can fuck you when you two want to.

No bet is worth giving that privilege up. 

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Valterri Bottas: winner?

So doesn’t join in, but just does it for fun? 

No matter what he just doesn’t fuck you all month

Then he makes up for that

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Zhou Guanyu: he tried…?

Didn’t try at all

Gave up

He does not think it’s worth it at all.

He does get teased a lot. 

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Kimi Raikonen: no. 

Hahahahahhaha ur funny.

He isn’t giving shit up for a month, especially fucking you. 

He is a freak, and he doesn’t care who tf knows it. 

He would send in a video of yall fucking to their gc (with your permission ofc) with the money transfer. 

Unapologetic. 

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Sebastian Vettel: freaky freaky gal.

He would rather shit in his hand and clap than give up fucking you for a month. 

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk!

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

[derangedanomaly]

Bad Sanses x Princess! S/O perhaps? (That one bride and her ugly ass groom meme lol)

YES!

MASTERLIST

BAD SANSES X PRINCESS S/O

NIGHTMARE:

Nightmare is a royal himself (or so he addresses himself as one), so having someone be on the same power position as him, makes him respect you.

I mean, he is an asshole to everyone, but you.

He makes sure that you're treated with the utmost respect by the others too.

You truly overall get more advantages, being Nightmare 'princess friend'.

Now the next thing I'm gonna say, is gonna be shocking.... He's kind to you.

Yes, that's right. I'd say you're lucky. Being treated like a treasure by the king of negativity himself, is a huge achievement.

He even listens to you when you command him something.

"Night! Stop traumatizing this poor man!" "Yes, of course, anything for you, love."

He's determined to make Killer lay on the puddles of water, just so you can come across it.

A sugar daddy Nightmare??

He buys you literally anything you want. Anything your heart desires, you already posses.

You know that one song from Lana Del Rey? That's the kind of relationship going on with you two.

"Would you ever kill for me, one day?" Him immediately without thinking about it, replying; "Yes, of course I will my darling."

KILLER/BLADE:

When I say that this man's HOOKED. Then I mean he's hooked.

He would try to woo you somehow. Gives you flowers, flirts.

But Nightmare doesn't really let him, since he thinks that Blade is too much of a commoner to even attempt at wooing you.

He's devastated fr.

Ya know Romeo and Juliet? That's what's going on. He's gonna sneak himself through your window, while you're giggling at his silly behavior.

You'd probably think he was cute. (And he was lmao)

He's be interested in all the royal stuff, and definitely asks you about it more than once.

He likes your dresses. He wants to try them too! (And he probably did once)

You're like two high schoolers hiding from their parents (Nightmare) while giggling through it.

He'd get in a lot of situations, that you'll have to get him out of, but they're probably all done just for you.

Like, he saw this thing that you so desperately want, and he'd steal it. That kind of thing.

Y'all give me major Flynn Rider and Rapunzel vibes.

DUST/ACE:

Ace would be nervous at approaching you. He probably thinks that the worst possible thing happens.

He's gonna prepare for a conversation with you, a MONTH before talking to you.

You'd think he was cute or something, so you'd just look at him doe eyes. (That made him more nervous)

He wants to hear you talk all the time. Loves your voice, even more when you're explaining things.

He's such a good listener, I swear to god.

Ace would like the fact you two are completely different, when it comes to a position. He's not a royal, or anything like that, so he feels like it's really romantic.

Ace can't stop talking about you, whenever you're not near him.

"So then that happened." "Yeah, that's cool, but did you know Y/N-"

HORROR/TED:

Literally thinks you're the prettiest thing to have ever graced his eye.

He wants to treasure you, and make sure you're safe at all times.

He's gonna be like your personal guard. He's gonna carry you over puddles... Anything!

He's not really talkative though, so he'd probably just watch you intently while you're out here talking his nonexistent ears off.

Please, show him some dresses! He wants to see you in them!

Horror likes the nature, so there's gonna be a lot of walks through the woods or something.

He also likes chopping wood. So he's gonna be out there breaking a brick of wood only with his hands, and you're gonna be drooling over how strong he is. (Me too girlie. Me too)

[pleasestayawayidonotlikeyou]

I didn't know how much I needed to write this until you requested traveler 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Also yes! Ted's the name I use to write Horror (the one of the bad sanses.)

Featuring:Killer, Dust and Horror

Trigger warning: mentions of sexual content, swears, mentions of crimes and criminal cases.

Masterlist

Congratulations traveler, you are now dating three of the most dangerous serial killers in all the multiverse.

You're definitely not living in Nightmare's castle, nuh uh, it's not like he doesn't like you, it's just that your positive feelings may let Dream find the castle easily.Plus he doesn't want to hear you get banged by his subjects.

Every night it's a problem, Dust and Ted don't really mind sleeping together with you, but Killer? He bothers them until he can get you all to himself.

Which doesn't really work 90% of the time, as Ted is big enough to simply hold both Dust and you at the same time, leaving Killer to hug whatever side of your body is to his reach.

The times it does work though, it's usually when Ted and Dust are stressed out because of something, most of the time missions, they simply make Killer sleep on the couch while they sleep with you, sometimes even make him hear your moans as they senseless fuck you.

If you ever find yourself sick, worry not! Because Ted's hands don't know only how to smash skulls, they also do wonderful soup! Dust's going out to buy you the medicine you need, and Killer? Well he's cuddling you on the couch while watching some random criminal case Dust put on the TV.

Killer has a LOT of cats, like 8 in total, so I really hope you aren't allergic..

Be prepared for them to come home covered in blood and Killer running up to you, screaming how much he missed you as you think about how another of your favorite shirts is going to the washing machine because of him.

They take very precise turns cuddling you, the moment the time ends the other's already in front of you.

Dust usually gets really mad with Killer when he tries to find ANY excuse to have more time, especially when you're sleeping. "I want to get up, but they're just sooooooo comfortable here with me!".

"CABRON ES MI TURNO, DESAPARECE!!"

Ted's the one who ends their stupid discussion as he grabs and cuddles you, leaving both skeletons with their mouths open.

"Will... You two... Shut up.... Now..?"

Talking about Ted, you and him often cook together! You know, like a romantic date! Only you and him...except Dust and Killer are arguing in the background.

You snuggled against Killer's chest as he covered your head with the blanket while hugging your waist and kissing your forehead, seeing your eyes close to rest.

"Sleepy now are we, (____)..? Is your headache getting better..?"

He says, his hands brush your hair as you slowly nod. Suddenly he hears Dust's voice.

"Oh vagabundo, levántate, es mi turno."

"C'mon hood man, can't you see they're comfortable with me?"

"I don't care, it's my turn now, get the fuck up and let me cuddle them."

Killer moves so your head is laying on his lap and looks up at Dust.

"And what if I don't huh? What are you gonna do?"

He rests his arm on the armchair of the couch. Dust looks at him furiously, closing his fists as he watches Killer form a sly smile.

"Listen here you-"

The two start arguing loudly, attracting Ted's attention, who just got out of the shower and saw you press your hands to your ears, trying to muffle the noise. Ted signs and approaches you quietly, he grabs you and walks away to your room, he's gonna make sure you rest far away from any type of noisy fuss.

"...Good night.... Darling.."

[squinch-depraved]

got rlly inspired by @mister-sandwich's post about schlatt pissing you off and then just burying his face between your legs and i think i'm gonna continue off of the other oneshot i posted today bc something ab it was kinda yummyyy wrote this all in one sitting so i hope it's okay anyway can you tell i'm high and have the munchies 🤭

a few days later, still chuckle week, still sweltering, you sit in front of a fan on the bed you're staying in, legs hanging off the side and slightly leaning back onto your arms. eyes closed, waiting for your best friend(?) to come back so the two of you could start watching another movie. it was your new favorite activity to do together; he hadn't seen many and you got to show him your favorite films. doesn't matter that it usually ended with someone going down on the other, or that you both were too electrically aware of the other's presence to actually watch the flick. things between you two were certainly different than they were at the start of this trip, but at this point, it was a bit too late to care how relationship dynamics had shifted, what with the shoving of his cock down your throat all the time and that stuff. and when ted joined you guys, it was even more intense. the three of you definitely had something incredible, and you planned to all discuss it at the end of the week, when all the filming was done and you guys could finally relax. but for right now, ted was out with tucker hunting down some stuff for a video they were going to film together, and then they were going out to dinner with a group of friends not well known to the two of you left. it was just you and schlatt for the rest of the day and night, and you were thrilled. not that you didn't love having both boy toys, just that you were excited to have some time alone with him again.

"this fuckin' loser only keeps some weird bougie caramel top ice cream in his freezer, so i guess that's what we're having," his voice echoes down the hall until he's finally visible in the doorframe. he continues to approach until he's standing in between you and the fan and holding out a spoon.

"that's my ice cream, j," you reply tiredly, pinching the bridge of your nose. "i bought that for us to share tonight because i thought it looked good. you think i'd just tell you to go steal ted's ice cream?"

he's silent for a moment. "i think if you wanted to be cute and have a little ice cream date, we could have used ted's ice cream maker and made it a whole thing."

you whip your head up to glare at him. "are you fuckin' kidding me?"

he laughs. "what? mad i came up with a better date than you? in like, two seconds?"

"no!" you lie. "get out of the way of the fan, it's so fucking hot in here." you try to push him, or even move him at all, really, but you fail. "schlatt, i'm fucking serious. move. and give me that spoon."

he yanks the spoon back before you can reach it. with a simple, "nah," he opens the ice cream and begins eating it, much to your dismay.

"schlatt! stop it! that's for-"

"our cutesy little movie date? nah, toots, i'm gonna eat all this while you sit there and bitch about it, and then maybe, if you're cute enough, i'll eat you."

a stunned silence hangs heavily in the room before you finally regain the ability to speak, jumping up to grab at his hands (which he pulls out of reach as he continues to eat with a small smile on his lips). "sch- i actually don't even fucking know what to say," you fumble, growing more and more pissed. "i don't know why you're being like this?? what did i do?"

he sniffs.

"there's no way you actually eat that whole pint." your hands are on your hips now as you shoot daggers at him. his eyebrow cocks, as if to say, wanna bet? "i hate you so much."

he grins and goes in for another spoonful.

"you're such a dick, you know that?" you speak sharply, sinking back onto the bed.

"last spoonful. you want?"

you quickly look up at him to see him offering it to you, spoon in outstretched hand. you nod greedily and open your mouth, causing him to cackle and eat it himself. your eyes go wide, and then narrow to squint at him. "YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING- WHY WOULD YOU EVEN- I CAN'T FUCKING-" you stutter, starting time after time only to stop a few words later because your anger feels like it's consuming you. "WHY???" you scream. he simply continues laughing as he leaves the room. you sit there, fuming, unable to even move as you process everything that just happened. the rage makes you blind to him coming back and standing in the same spot. a moment later you look back up at him. "get out of the way. of the fucking fan. or i swear i'm going to-"

"shut the fuck up," he says.

you go silent for a few seconds before you ask, "where did you go?"

"throw away the ice cream. i told you shut up," he says. "can you just do one thing you're told?" his voice is sickly sweet, mocking you.

"i'm gonna punch you in the balls live on the podc-" you start, but are cut off by him pushing you back down onto the bed. "wh-?"

he wedges himself between your legs and rips the clothing off your lower half. you shriek slightly in surprise, and he buries his face in your cunt, immediately swirling his tongue over your clit, sliding a finger in. his face pulls back and looks at you, staring at the ceiling, lost in the whirlwind of things you're feeling, and says, "fuckin' knew you'd be soaking for me." he punctuates his sentence by spitting on your clit and you moan. "you taste so much sweeter than that stupid, fancy fuckin' ice cream." this makes you scream through gritted teeth (really, it was him slipping another finger in and working them inside you just right, but he doesn't need to know that) and you bring your legs to wrap around his head, fingers intertwining into his hair.

gasping and squirming under him, his tongue continues to dance all over your sopping pussy while he pins you by your hips down against the mattress. he's sloppy, borderline making out with your sticky sweet folds and you can see your essence all over his chops. his eyes, dark, drag up your body to meet yours and it triggers something in your stomach. a knot, forming and growing as he works now three fingers in and out, in and out, and curling them in all the most delicious spots. you're screaming now, his name, obscenities, how much you just hate him, how good he feels. the knot in your stomach has spread throughout your entire body, enveloping you in a warm embrace as fireworks explode everywhere, and you scream more, announcing your arrival at what feels like heaven's gate, but he just keeps going. sensitive, every nerve in your body feeling like it's being abused by this man (and truthfully, they are), tears begin to flow down your cheeks as you try to pull his head away, to no avail.

"please, j! i can't handle it! 's too much!" you cry out. he hmmphs on your clit, making you gasp loudly. something is building again, but it feels different. almost wrong. still pleasureful, but in such an intense way that your legs begin kicking, trying to get him off. but schlatt holds fast, mouth glued to the bundle of nerves that makes you move under him like this. he knows you're close, and by god is he gonna get you there. something resembling fire rips through you like a shockwave, and you release all over him, babbling something about a mess and tears falling from overstimulation.

finally, he pulls back, looking up at you while you regulate and come back down to earth. when you finally speak, your voice is hoarse. "why did you do that?"

he shrugs. "you were bein' a brat."

you nod, looking at the time.

"i'm gonna doordash that ice cream, by the way," he mumbles, grabbing his phone. " it was really good and you deserve some after all that. you still up for a movie?"

[croworro]

Movie night with Schlatt, Ted, and Charlie Drabble/headcanons

Im running on 2 hours of sleep and cant stop thinking about them

You’d be sitting on the couch with them, mindlessly watching a movie not really paying attention

You had all gotten a Airbnb together for some sort of video you were filming or a trip

You guys had all met through streaming/youtube

Constantly making content together or streaming together

You immediately fit in well with the chuckle boys

You always thought they were all handsome but would never make a move, fearing what the others would think

All the guys had been oddly flirty and handsy with you all day

Hand gently placed on your hip as they walked past you or next to you

Sweet petnames from all of them

Schlatts go tos are “toots” or “dollface”

Ted is a simple “darling” or “hun” man

Charlie would definitely be more of a “honey” or “baby”

Constantly catching them staring at you

You finally settle down for the night and decide to watch a movie together

Schlatt insists on sitting so close to you, insisting that “Charlie takes up too much room” but his arm ends up on the back of the couch behind you

Charlie would sit on the other side of you, sharing a blanket with you

You and Charlie’s hands would occasionally graze each others as you reached for snacks

Charlie would joke and pull you closer into his side, quote saying that “he’s saving you from the other monsters on the couch” aka Ted and schlatt

Ted is a quiet subtle flirt

Ted is a more refined flirt, subtle hand touches when he passes you snacks or catching your eye during a intense or romantic part in the movie

But schlatt, being the bold on he is, would instigate

It would start with his hand resting on your thigh beneath the blanket, slowly creeping closer and closer to your core

Slowly torturing you throughout the movie

Also I just imagine his hands are so big they practically cover your entire thigh

And whenever you squirm he would lean over and whisper in your ear “can you stay still toots? I’m trying to watch the movie”

This continues on and you kept quiet so you don’t draw any attention to you two

(I like to think that schlatt is just very handsy in general and has to be touching you 24/7)

that is until you let out a low mewl as schlatt pushes your sleep shorts aside and gently starts rubbing your clit through your panties

This catches Ted and Charlie’s attention

Some alcohol or weed may be involved in this night

Ted and Charlie just smirk, sharing a look with schlatt

Ted would just take a sip of his drink and lean further back into the couch, his eyes now fixed on you as you squirm beneath schlatts touch

I feel like Ted really likes to just watch and call all the shots

Ted would tut and say “couldn’t even keep quiet till the end of the movie darling?” His voice low and sultry

Blink blink

It takes you a moment to realize what’s happening

Ohmygod they coordinated

Schlatt continues to lazily rub circles into your clit

Charlie would pull the blanket off of you, and when you try to close your thighs he would gently pull them open, pulling your leg onto his lap

He would lean closer to you, gently rubbing circles into your inner thigh and places kisses along your neck and pawing at your chest

Of course ted was sitting directly across from you, that’s the whole reason he chose a spot so far away

You were flushed and disheveled and on display for him

Movie is completely forgotten

Ted’s eyes hold your own gaze and he has a sultry smirk on his face

If you try to look away from him schlatt or Charlie would hold your chin in place to look at him

You pajama bottoms and panties find their way to the floor

You’ve turned into a moaning mess as schlatt is now pumping his thick fingers in and out of you

Your top is pushed up as Charlie leaves hickeys across your chest, gently playing with your nipple with one hand and taking the other into his mouth

Ted has pulled down his pants and lazily strokes his cock while watching you come undone

His low sultry voice taunting you the entire time

“You look so good like this honey”

“We saw how you looked at all of us, this is exactly what you wanted” he’s not wrong with that one

Ted tells schlatt how fast or hard to go, or when to add another finger

Just as your about to cum, Ted tells schlatt to stop

You let out the most pathetic whine ever to which Ted just smirks

You end up in Charlie’s lap, him holding you legs open as his cock presses into you lower back and he places kisses on your neck

Schlatt pushes cock into you slowly, not before slapping it against your opening a few times

He’s B I G (he’s a big dude so like…to be expected)

You let out the most pornographic moan as he slides into you, you could have cum right then and there

Ted has since quieted a bit and just strokes his cock while sipping the drink he had been nursing

Charlie whispers sweet praises in your ear, in contrast to schlatt who slams into your pussy roughly while degrading you

“Yeah you fucking love this you little slut”

“You love being shared by the three of us don’t you? Our little cockslut?”

He is hitting your gspot repeatedly, you would definitely be bruised tomorrow

Charlie would slip his hand between you and schlatts bodies and circle your clit, sending you over the edge you were already so close to

Your back would arch off of Charlie’s chest and you would be seeing stars

Schlatt would continue to slam his cock into you before one final thrust emptying himself deep inside you with loud guttural moan

When he pulls out, Charlie is quick to adjust and slip himself into you

Unable to catch your breath from you last release, when Charlie starts pumping into you

“Can’t have it dripping out.” He would lowly whisper.

Charlie would wrap his arms around your waist and thrust up into you, his action countering his sweet praises

The closer he gets the dirtier his words become

“You’re doing so good babydoll”

“So good for us all”

“Your pussy is squeezing me fucking so tight”

“Gonna have you so full of our cum by the end of the night”

“Our perfect little cumslut”

Charlie is soooo noisy

Schlatt has settled next to Ted, the two of them stroking themselves while they watch you guys

Both of you so noisy and sweet

Charlie’s hands dig into your hips as he gets closer and closer

You whine, just as close as Charlie

Ted pushes himself off the couch and makes his way to stand in front of you

His eyes heavy lidded as he stares down at you, he grabs your chin and forces you to look up at him

“Look at me while you cum darling”

As you try to look away he holds your face tighter

“I said look at me” he says through gritted teeth

You whine and as Charlie continues to pound into you it finally snaps and you practically fall forward into Ted’s arms, Charlie’s release following shortly

“Oh so good honey, you did so good” Ted praises as you crumple into his arms, his hands stroking your hair

Charlie’s slips out of you and leans back into the couch breathless

Just as you think Ted going to be soft and sweet with you…. He picks you up off Charlie’s lap and drops you down on for a open spot on the couch

He quickly flips you over and pushes your face into the couch

Ted pulls you up by your hips, using a his thick fingers to push the cum dripping out of you back in before pushing his cock into you

Ted is a mean dom for sure, very degrading, he likes to make you thinks he’s gonna be sweet and then he’s not

He loves that’s you’re overstimulated, you’re so whiny

“You’re gonna cum for me again sweetheart okay?” You whine gibberish but something along the lines of ‘I can’t’

“Awww You can’t? You just can’t ?” He teases and begins to pound into you harder, causing you to whine and moan louder

You try to pull away from him due to the overstimulation but he has a firm hold on your hips and you are going nowhere

Safe to say Ted doesn’t stop until you’ve cum another 2 times and are completely cock drunk

When Ted finally cums, he pulls out you collapse onto the couch, his grip has been the only thing holding you up

Their mixed cum dripping down your inner thighs and onto the couch, but you could not be bothered to care right now

Aftercare is Charlie’s time to shine, he returns with a warm damp towel to clean you up, all while placing gentle kisses along your body

Once everyone is all cleaned up, schlatt and Ted wrap you up in a blanket and you are placed on Charlie’s lap

The four of you cuddle in the center of the couch and finally finish the movie that had been long forgotten

You begin to doze off in Charlie’s arms

“We should have done that way sooner” you say sleepily before dozing off, smirks all making their way onto the three men’s faces.

Only now just realizing how much I wrote… oops…. Also I barely proofread this

Anyway, need this rn. Being shared by these men is the literal dream

[keanusteddy]

🎸 NEW GIRL AT SCHOOL 🎸 ted logan x reader headcanons

A/N: Trying out something a little different. I’m very nervous to post this, since I’ve only ever done bots before. Hopefully it isn’t total rubbish.

Ted definitely hadn’t been paying any attention to what was going on in the classroom before you walked in. He and Bill had been too busy brainstorming new song lyric ideas.

“Who cares about some short dead french dude. We won’t need all this useless information when Wyld Stallyns becomes famous.” Bill had said to Ted, whilst messily scribbling down some lyrics at the back of his history notebook.

Ted had been so focused on his songwriting, that he didn’t even notice you walk into the room. It was only when Mr. Ryan told him and Bill to pay attention, that he looked up to see you.

“Everyone listen up! This is y/n and they will be joining us this year at San Dimas High. I want everyone to make them feel welcome.” Whilst Mr. Ryan introduced you to the classroom, Ted stared at you with his big brown eyes. He looked like a love sick puppy dog.

“I’m in love dude.” Ted shuffled his seat closer to Bill and whispered to him.

When you end up sitting in the seat next to Ted (it was the only seat in class left), he immediately became flustered and nervous. There was no way that he could focus on the lesson now even if he tried.

Throughout the whole lesson, Ted couldn’t help but steal glances in your direction. He also attempted to impress you with his laidback and nonchalant attitude, cracking jokes and giving witty responses during class discussions to catch your attention. However, it seemed that Ted’s antics had not impressed you.

Ever since you joined Ted’s history class, he had been arriving on time to Mr. Ryan’s lessons. Ted didn’t want you to think of him as the class slacker, even though he was already pretty much one.

Ted wants you to think that he’s smart. He’ll sit up a bit straighter in his seat and pay more attention in class. He even takes notes! Mr. Ryan can’t believe his eyes.

Ted may even raise his hand to answer questions and discuss historical events. He’s not correct most of the time but his silly responses sometimes get a smile and a giggle out of you, which makes his day.

Ted still goes back into his own world and daydreams in class (specifically about you). At the back of his notebook, he doodles your name and his together with a big heart around it. Ted is also a good drawer. He’ll draw pictures of you both holding hands.

He always makes sure his notebook is in a secure place. He would die of embarrassment if you ever saw his silly little doodles. Not even Bill knows about them.

Ted becomes incredibly clumsy and awkward around you, constantly tripping over his own two feet whenever you are nearby. Countless times he’s almost bumped into somebody, walked into a trash can and dropped his school books in the hallway.

Ted was harmless but he would low-key act like a stalker. During lunch times he would attempt to discreetly follow you around and he would bring Bill along with him for moral support.

“Dude. You are seriously acting like a total stalker. Just go up and talk to her. Recite her some lyrics!” Bill would always say to Ted, trying to convince him to make a move.

Ted has been observing you so much, that he now knows what you bring to lunch each day and where your favourite spots are to sit and eat.

Ted thinks he’s being sneaky, but a few times you have spotted him hiding behind a tree or a bush. His fluffy hair would always been sticking out.

Both of your lockers are right near each others in the hallway. Ted will peak around from his open locker door and watch as you put your books away or take out books.

One day you spotted him peaking around at you and you gave him a friendly smile. Ted nearly fainted on the spot.

You are now the inspiration for the songs that Ted writes. These songs often talk about your beautiful smile, and bubbly personality. Ted only wishes that one day you could hear it :((

[writingduhh]

im in the christmas spirit how would ted and schlatt spend christmas with reader

Ahhh love it!!! I did this as a “Christmas Season HCS” if that’s ok! If not omk I can redo it!!! Sorry this isn’t too good 😭

Christmas Season

Jschlatt:

▷ Schlatt would dive headfirst into decorating, but in a very Schlatt way. Think big, flashy lights all over the house, maybe even some crazy decorations like an inflatable Santa or a giant fake snowman in the front yard. He’d be “proud” of his work, probably grumbling about how “other people don’t know how to do Christmas right”

▷ He would play Christmas music non-stop. You’d hear him humming along to “Last Christmas” while sipping his morning coffee, acting like he’s too cool for it but clearly enjoying himself. You can’t help but smile.

▷ He’d love driving around town with you look at the best Christmas light displays. He’d have his hand on your thigh as he slowly drives down the snowy road, critiquing the houses and cracking jokes. Things such as “this one’s lame” or “finally, a house that gets it!”

▷ Schlatt rolls his eyes when you suggest matching Christmas pajamas, but secretly, he loves the idea. He picks a pair with some ridiculous pattern, like reindeer wearing sunglasses. He refuses to take them off the entire day, even when you suggest he change for dinner. “Why would I? I look damn good in these.”

▷ Schlatt would buy you your own personal Christmas Advent calendar, as well as a shared one but wouldn’t tell you until he brings it out one day.

“I thought it’d be fun to open this together every day.” Every day, you’d get a little treat or small gift, and each time he hands you the next door to open, he’s all excited, almost like he’s the one getting the gift out of your reaction.

▷ On Christmas Eve, Schlatt would get so giddy and excited. He’d keep looking at the clock, constantly saying, “Only “X” hours left until Christmas!” He’d want to stay up late with you and talk about past Christmas memories, cuddled up together on the couch as the fireplace .

▷ On Christmas morning, Schlatt would be up early ready to start opening presents, just like an eager child. He’d try to wake you up gently, shaking your shoulder and placing a kiss on your cheek. If that didn’t work he’d taking things into his own hands, literally. He’s scoop you up into his arms and carry you down to the living room. Setting you carefully on the couch.

▷ He’d act super casual when giving you your present, saying, “It’s no big deal,” but he’d be dying inside, watching your reaction.

▷ When you give him something thoughtful, he’d try to play it cool but would secretly treasure it, sneaking in a kiss and whispering, “You know I’m keeping this forever, right?”

▷ As the night winds down, he’d pull you under the Christmas lights, holding you close. He’d lean in for a soft kiss, grinning against your lips, and whisper, “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

Ted:

▷ Early in the month, Ted would start planning for Christmas well ahead of time. He’d get excited about all the little things like buying the tree (maybe getting one too big or too small for the space) and setting up decorations. Ted’s obsession with finding the perfect tree would be a big deal, and he'd drag you around to different lots to pick one out, overanalyzing which one has the "best vibes."

▷ Mid-December would also involve Ted trying to bake some Christmas treats, (I know, I know, shocking.), roping you into it as a way to spend time together. He’d insist on making gingerbread men or sugar cookies, and there would definitely be a flour mess, probably ending up all over the two of you. Or some other mishap with frosting. You’d end up with some hilariously lopsided gingerbread creations but hey, at least you had fun together.

▷ He sneaks little notes into your Christmas stocking throughout December, each one either a funny joke or a sweet message about how much you mean to him. On Christmas Day, you find them all and can’t stop smiling at his cheesy yet endearing efforts.

▷ If it’s snowy outside (assuming you’re not in Cali) Ted would drag you outside for some winter activities. Snowball fights or ice skating, building snowmen, absolutely everything you could imagine.

▷ Ted would get super into the spirit of gift shopping. He’d insist on buying everyone something “personal” and would spend way too much time wandering through stores looking for the perfect gifts for you. When he’s not shopping for you he’s dragging you along. Low-key I bet Ted to takes the longest time to pick out presents. Assuming you for your opinions on everything and possibly even going overboard on wrapping.

▷ Ted takes you ice skating, and while he’s surprisingly good at it, he keeps humble just to make sure you’re comfortable. At one point, he spins you around on the ice, laughing as you cling to him for dear life.

▷ Ted is terrible at wrapping gifts, but he’s so proud of his messy attempts. One of your presents looks like it’s been wrapped by a kindergartner, complete with too much tape. He defends his handiwork, saying, “It’s not about how it looks it’s about the love behind it!”

▷ Ted sneaks mistletoe into random places around the house. Anytime you’re caught underneath it, he swoops in for a kiss, smirking and saying, “Rules are rules.” By the end of the night, he’s hanging it from the bedroom door for one last cheeky kiss before bed.

▷ After opening presents, Ted would pull you into a warm, cozy hug, just basking in the Christmas morning vibes. He’d get really quiet for a moment, enjoying the peacefulness of the day. He’d rest his head on your shoulder

[impactrueno]

(thread i posted on twitter copypaste)

i think musical bj and lydia have the most interesting dynamic of the three…they go toe to toe, seem to be in perfect sync without even trying, she managed to turn his marriage threat on its head by tricking HIM back, and then a mini redemption arc? we love to see it but this also means it's hard for me to think of interesting things for them, because they already said everything that needed to be said in the musical. perfect closure too. what else is there even to tell?

thinking about this again since i've been rewatching the musical over and over. the emotional resolution and closure they had was so satisfying after offering what is probably the best (subjectively) and most balanced (objectively) dynamic of the three iterations

over at tumblr i've been talking about how cartoon bj and lydia's friendship isn't as perfect as it seems, especially in the later episodes. it's so sad to see but i'm also invested in their potential downfall and how that would go down…it's interesting to think about

but hey at least they're not movie bj and lydia lol. what….a mess of a dynamic those two have now with the sequel. it could've been handled so much better. they obviously wanted us to root for bj a little in this one, but the cool things he does amount to nothing, pretty much.

feels weird sympathizing with THIS beetleguy of all three but wow not even a reluctant "thanks i guess" or anything? idk feels like something was missing there. just one of the many things that feel like they're setting up for a third installment

thinking so hard about this because when i write them i gotta think about their motivations, feelings and why they feel that way, etc and bj saving astrid's life and exposing rory as a fraud and abuser (in an incredibly satisfying way) definitely tipped the scales in his favor.

so i'm still figuring out how lydia would feel about all that. i have this scene stuck in my head of her and astrid talking about bj. and astrid, who's really only seen him do good things, goes "…really mom?" and now i'm going "welp she's kinda got a point, lydia" NOW WHAT.

if i were in her shoes, me personally, that would've won me over or at the VERY least i would've forgiven him since he made up for the bad stuff. and i keep seeing people who feel the same way… then again, the ending does show he's still messing with her so idk. mixed feelings

trying my hardest to work with what canon gave us if you couldn't tell lol. sloppy as it was. i will try to make sense of it so i can do my stupid little comics

i guess at least she let him down easy lmao. as sarcastic her "look i'm sorry things didn't work out between us but the 600 year gap is a little much for me" line was. but he's not gonna give up that easily, is he? of course not. he's beetlejuice. he's gonna be annoying forever.

none of this would be such an issue if they had given them more screentime together to let their dynamic cook a bit and actually see how they get along 😑 hmph

anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk im done now

[believesthings]

Carnal Coffee Mornings // Ted lasso x reader

Summary: Ted surprises you with some morning coffee and some sexiness ensues.

Warnings: oral sex (f receiving)

Just a little something to get myself back in the swing of writing.

“Well, hey there Darlin’. Come on - sit down.”

Ted is standing in the kitchen, ushering his way towards you with a steaming cup of coffee in hand.

You make your way to the dining room table, taking the cup of coffee from his outstretched hands.

“Morning, Ted. What are you up to?” You ask with a laugh. Leave it to Ted to always have something up his sleeve when it comes to you.

“Just wanted to show you some lovin’ that’s all.”

You cock your head at him, “Ted, you do that everyday.”

“I know, I know but - we’ve both just been so busy lately and I feel like I haven’t really been able to spoil you like normal but…”

He trails off and his gaze lands on the clock in the corner. “It seems like we might have some extra time this morning.”

You open your mouth but he puts his hand up to shush you before you can protest.

“Now, I know we’ve both got work, you’re already dressed and I wouldn’t wanna ruin your pretty outfit, plus you’ve got coffee to drink before it gets too cold. So you sit right there and I’m gonna do the work.”

Of course. Ted is a giver. You shouldn’t have suspected anything different. You couldn’t help but squirm at the thought. Ted is making his way under the table, you hear him ask, “it okay if I move this skirt up, and take these panties off pretty girl?”

“Um - yes.”

You were trying to focus on your coffee, but good lord, he’s kissing your thighs. He couldn’t have really expected you to handle a hot beverage while he was between your legs, could he?

“Can’t wait to have a taste..” he murmurs against your pussy. The vibrations of his voice against your slit already has you gasping.

“T-Ted.” You let out rather breathlessly. Your hands instinctively move towards his hair and he groans against your pussy.

“Feel free to tug on my hair there, Darlin. Have fun with it. I know I definitely will.”

He fastens his mouth over your pussy, giving you an open mouthed kiss. You’re careful to try not to knock over your coffee cup as you steady yourself on the table. His lips and teeth are traveling over your cunt to your swollen clit, his nimble fingers teasing at your opening.

He pulls his mouth back, letting his fingers take over the job. “You seem pretty needy there, honey. You gonna take my fingers?”

Before you can get even let out a sound, however, his mouth is back to work. His tongue and fingers seeming to work in tandem. You scratch along his scalp as your hips rise against his tongue.

“Ah, patience.” He grumbles. Ted always likes take his time and appreciate you but good lord, this was a slowness you weren’t used to. There were so many slow strokes and kisses against your heat.

“You know what they say, right? Good things come to those who wait.” He paused pulls his mouth away and goes back to kissing your inner thighs and you can’t help but groan.

“I love hearing your breath hitch when I do this. Seeing you turn senseless cause of me? You spend so much time stuck up in that pretty little head of yours. I love having the chance to pull you out of it.”

God, even if you could think of something to say, you didn’t think your mouth would be capable of forming an actual response. He went back to kissing along the lips of your pussy, pausing to sink his tongue in as deep as he could, then withdrawing to suck on your clit again.

His fingers go back to work and he’s not letting up. “Can you feel my fingers baby? I love the way you respond to me. You’re so beautiful, you know that? You wanna cum, sweet girl?”

You didn’t take the time to question if he was teasing you. You nodded furiously. He kept stroking your walls and kissing your thighs and you were starting to worry you were becoming too sensitive.

“Lord. Your skin is so soft. I’ll never understand how you do that.” He murmurs almost more to himself than to you. “What if I just did this a little bit… harder?”

His fingers seem to move purposefully, pressing against all the tender spots his fingers have been skillfully avoiding this whole time. You head falls back and moan escapes you as he places the flat of his tongue against your clit, almost pressing down too firmly, his eyes flick up to see your head hanging back off the dining room chair, eyes closed.

He intertwines his arm around your leg, wrapping it behind his body. “Look down at me, baby.” His head gently nudges up, peaking his head out underneath the table. You turn your head down, eyes hooded, drinking him in.

“Put your hands around my neck and keep your eyes on me, okay? I want you to watch me devour your pretty body.”

You mindlessly did as you were told. You were in too much of a daze. “You’re mine, you know? And I’m yours. You fit so perfectly into me.”

Before you know it, you’re on the edge of climax.

“There we go. Let go for me.”

You’re gasping trying to come down from your high. You look at the cup of coffee in front of you, lukewarm and bordering on cold. It snaps you back to reality. You turn around anxiously looking at the clock.

Ted is acting like nothing happened. He pushes your skirt back down, and comes back up from under the table.

“Looks like it’s time to go work, huh sweetheart?”

“Yeah..” you were still in a daze. How was Ted so put together? As if he didn’t just make you come undone?

It’s only as you’re halfway out the driveway that you realize Ted never put your panties back on.

[elbdot]

Besides Latias being your favorite legendary Pokémon, what would be your SECOND favorite legendary?

Heck, what's your top FIVE favorite legendary Pokémon?

Aww man. There's WAY too many at this point, even top five is hard to pick. ALRIGHT I'll try...

Latias

Ultra Necrozma

Tapu Koko

Yveltal

Koraidon

...that's a lot of red Legendaries.

Latias I don't need to further explain, but probably Ultra Necrozma. The reason why he's THAT high up my list is because Ultra Necrozma IS A G O D. Like LEGIT, this dragon made out of PURE LIGHT is the absolute PINACLE of a Legendary to me. My other picks may be more personal than him, but in terms of what makes a Legendary a LEGENDARY Pokemon to me, THIS would be it. Heck, I'd put him above ARCEUS, make those two FIGHT FOR THE TITLE OF ULTIMATE POKE-GOD oh wait they already did

Otherwise Tapu Koko would've easily made it on second place. He's my next pick for a multitude of reasons. I think Tapu Koko absolutely BEAMS with personality. I love the Tapus all very much, but Koko is definitely my favorite. And I appreciate these Legendaries in particular because of their cultural significance for Alola. I think Alola may be the only region where Legendary deitys are not only KNOWN to exist, but play an ACTIVE role in their lives, interacting with the locals, protecting the islands, choosing ambassadors in form of the Kahunas and getting honored by the people of Alola. They're just. INCREDIBLY COMPLEX AND FLESHED OUT AND I LOVE THEM

Yveltal is my only pure nostalgia-pick I have to admit. Aside from me LOVING BIRDS and Yveltal being a KILLER BACON BIRD he was also the very first Legendary I ever caught by playing Pokemon Y. I may not hold much nostalgia for that game otherwise, but Yveltal definitely holds a special place in my heart.

Koraidon I just think is funny as heck. He looks SO STUPID when he's running. He's a cute goofy lizard throughout the game until he reaches his full energized form in the end and when he takes that stand he's just an ABSOLUTE badass and I LOVE that. While there's many other legendaries I could give the fifth place to, I wanted to give my appreciation for modern legendaries, because I do like the trend of some of them being included more in a personal quest. Getting to bond with them throughout your journey makes them feel much more special than others.

goofy ass lizard

HONORABLE MENTIONS: I have to give a shout-out to Rayquaaza, Kyogre, Dialga and death-noodle Giratina for being my old favorites. Xerneas is also pretty cool, I do appreciate magic fairy deer. I still think Mega Rayquaaza is THE ultimate dragon because I'm basic like that. I see badass Lung-like dragon I go WAOWEEEEE

Lugia used to be my absolute favorite as a kid but I HATE the way they've been anmating him as a 3D Model, he looks as goofy and unmajestic as one can get, what have they DONE to my boy... Meanwhile Ho-oh is doing SPLENDID in 3D, it's not fair 😞 Also shout-out to Ho-oh for having the prettiest shiny of all the Legendaries. And Galarian Zapdos is a huge improvement from the original one, that one also goes into honorable mentions.

Thank you for coming to my TED-Talk.