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thegirlwhowritesawksh-t · 4 years ago

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la douleur de l'amour - georgenotfound x f!reader

author: @thegirlwhowritesawksh-t me!

word count: 4.7k +

warnings: hella angst, mentions of blood/scabs/injuries. if there’s any you think that you see, please let me know!

a/n: hi y’all :)) first off, to whoever’s reading this: stay hydrated, smile and laugh! and second: this is my submission for @bozowrites writing event! <33 congrats!!

**this is my second fic, and i’m hoping to push more out as i get more comfortable with writing! i’m thinking to maybe make a part two to this but i don't know yet. please let me know what you think! *sending besitos to y’all :))*

Prompt: Why are you crying?

1:15 p.m.

In the corner of a dimly lit studio in front of the barre, (y/n) leans over to her left, counting four beats before resetting and proceeding to stretch over her right side. After months spent choreographing, picking costumes, and endless bandages wrapped around her feet, it has led to the final product: her first piece in her dance company’s annual recital premiering tonight.

All (y/n) could feel was pure energy and pride at what she has created. It’s her baby after all and nothing could ruin the day for her.

Feeling her joints start to loosen up, she runs through a mental list in her head making sure each dancer had their costumes, knew where all the dancers would start and end on stage, as well as remembering her own choreography, seeing as she had an important section to end her piece. After double-checking, (y/n) then begins to travel to the center of the studio, and begins to run over the piece.

Remember the triple pirouette here, before you end with a leap to fourth position. Finishing in the fourth position, she lets out a curse as she accidently stubs her right thumb toe, a small scab already tearing at the edge. Shaking out her pain, she reattempts the move, succeeding with an effortless bow.

“You know, your piece is going to be excellent. Why are you so worried?”, a voice calls out in the quiet studio, with (y/n) yelping and trying to find where the voice came from. Standing against the edge of the doorway stood Liam, her dance partner and best friend. (y/n) begins to chuckle and runs the piece over again.

“Can’t help but make sure it’s perfect. I have drenched all my blood, sweat and tears creating this dance, this- this masterpiece. It is my first, and most certainly not my last choreographing piece at this company. There’s too much riding on this for me.”, she replies.

“Even if so, I’d like to think you��ll be fine. Don’t stress, it’s amazing. Otherwise, how are you feeling?”

“Kind of excited, kind of feeling like I should run away.”, (y/n) replies. Avoiding to answering the question entirely, she begins to run the piece over again. She continues,

“I think regardless, it should be a great night. George is coming to the recital tonight and it’ll be the first time he’ll be seeing this dance.” With George editing and recording videos for the Dream Team, his Twitch channel, and YouTube channels, (y/n)’s barely seen him since the start of the dance season. The only time she’s been able to spend time with him has been going to bed with him - even if it’s been a bit more rare lately - and sometimes, a free day on a weekend with no dance practice or no recording for George.

“So that’s why you are nervous, how cute.”, Liam laughs, with (y/n) leaping over to Liam and swatting their arm lightly.

“He swore that he’d come tonight, and he knows how much time I’ve spent perfecting this. I just can’t imagine tonight going any other way. I made sure to get him a seat right in the front, so he’ll be able to see the whole performance, and me.”, (y/n) smirks. As soon as (y/n) found out she would be choreographing one of the pieces in the recital, she immediately told George her good news. George had told her she deserved it for working her butt off since the start of her being at the dance academy. Making him pinky swear, George swore that he would be there for her first performance with her also starring as a choreographer.

“So focus on that instead of thinking your piece is going to crash and burn! Relax a bit. We only have a bit of time before we start getting ready, so let’s run it over a few more times. And don’t even think about slacking off now, missy, we’ll stretch and go get ready after.” Liam decides, and she nods, thinking it’s probably for the best. Running to her bag, (y/n) sends a quick message to George.

George J: hey, can’t wait to see you tonight! i left your ticket on your nightstand, and remember to dress up slightly, it’s a dance recital after all ;) lub you xo - sent at 1:34 p.m.

Content with her message, she tosses her phone back into her bag, and heads back to run over the piece with Liam once more.

>>>

6:47 p.m.

Sticking the last bobby-pin to her bun, (y/n) glances in the mirror to make sure no mistake is in place. Eyeing her look, she can’t help but smile looking at her dance attire, admiring how her purple leotard and dress matches her eyeshadow. Paired with a dark nude lip, she smirks and turns to check her phone for any messages, hoping that one could be from George.

Out of the nine messages she received, most were from friends and family, wishing her luck on her performance tonight. She replied with a thanks and a heart emoji before finally reading the last message coming from George about two hours ago.

George J: hi darling, i saw the ticket, i am so excited for you! can’t wait for you to take my breath away, as you always do. love you more xo - sent at 4:48 p.m.

Smiling even wider, (y/n) puts her phone on silent, before walking towards the backstage area, passing dancers along the way. Grabbing their hands and wishing them good luck, she arrives at the destination, nerves buzzing as members of the audience start gathering at their seats. Deciding to take a peek, (y/n) rushes to the curtains, peeking her eyes out towards the front rows, trying to spot the pale boy who danced into her heart. First row, seat G for George, she giggles to herself.

“Trying to find your lover? I’m right here!” Liam asks, with (y/n) turning around.

“As much as I’d love that, I’m no Harry Styles, so I don’t think I’m your type…” (y/n) smirks.

“Hm. Where’s George, I want to see him!”

“I’m looking for him right now, Liam. Give me a second.”, (y/n) laughs as she turns back to the audience. Finding his seat, she subtly frowns seeing as he’s not in his seat yet. He’s probably in the bathroom, or still in line to get to his seat, (y/n) tries to explain to herself.

“He’s not here yet, I think he’s in the bathroom or something. But give him time, he’ll be here.” (y/n) mutters as Liam frowns at her.

“He better show up, it’s your night, (y/n).”, they grumble. They start to say more however-

“Places, everyone! Take your places! We’re starting at seven sharp!” the stage manager yells out. He continues,

“We start in five minutes!” Rushing to get off the stage, she sees dancers brush past another wishing them luck. As the ballet dancers start to move into their places for the intro piece, she then walks over to Liam, helping them set up the microphone as they begin to breathe slowly.

“Hey, you got this. It’s just reading off of cue cards and announcing pieces. And then you’ll be set for my piece. You’re going to do great, Liam.”, (y/n) tries to motivate, with Liam smiling shyly at her.

“And your piece is going to kick ass, (y/n). It’s perfection. Just wait until George sees you dance. I’m a hundred percent sure he’s going to fall for you even more.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see…” (y/n) laughs. Liam clears their throat a bit before raising the microphone to their lips. (y/n) proceeds to head to the viewing room, where a broadcast of the show would play for other dancers to watch and support their fellow castmates.

Taking a deep breath, Liam starts to speak as (y/n)’s nerves start to palpitate.

“Hello, how are you this evening? And welcome to the 67th Annual Recital for the London Dance Academy! I am your emcee, Liam Barrings, and let me introduce you to the first dance of the night created by Sam Hastings. Here is Invictus!”

>>>

8:51 p.m.

An hour later, seven dances, and many whispered good jobs, it is finally time for (y/n) to step on stage and premiere her masterpiece. Slowly tip-toeing to her first position on stage, she glances at her castmates, thanking them silently in her mind for them to trust her to bring her visions to life. Before the curtains open, she turns to Liam on her right, kneeling down and grabbing her thighs, and they smile back at her.

“Ready for it?”, they smirk. Thinking to herself, she nods and turns back to the front of the curtains waiting for the music to begin. Remember the triple pirouette after Liam grabs you. And try to look like you’re in pain from loving him. It is exquisite pain, right (y/n)? Liam is toxic, yet you still love them. Make it believable. And finally, breathe.

Another emcee, Josh begins to speak.

“And now, I present to you (y/n - y/ln)’s dance. This is her first piece with her own choreography with the London Dance Academy, and tonight, we are the very first group of people to watch her story come to life. Please let me introduce you to (y/n) and her piece, La Douleur Exquise!” the audience claps softly, before the curtains open its wings to reveal the creation.

The background, a stark white, yet the lights casts hues of soft lilacs, with streaks of dark reds splattering across the dancers’ bodies. With a small pause, music begins to sing out of the speakers. Liam and (y/n) begin the piece with a small duet. Following closely behind, a quad of dancers mimicking their moves with childlike innocence.

Liam turns to (y/n), conveying an I love you through their linked hands and they abruptly pull her to their arms, as she looks at them with confusion in her eyes and pulling away. Gliding towards the middle, the quad walks slowly to (y/n), enveloping her with open arms, before having a dance section with (y/n) in the middle as Liam looks on, hellbent on grasping (y/n) once more. Every other beat, (y/n) turns to Liam, feeling lost as if they were missing from her.

As the quad looks away, having their own small solos, (y/n) slips away from the group only to leap back into Liam’s arms with her hands grasping their face as Liam slowly grips her waist. Looking at her with renewed interest, his face morphs into fury as one of the dancers pass by her, softly guiding his fingers from her shoulder down to her inner wrist. An angry duet starts, with Liam and (y/n) clashing against each other, as if saying they hate but love each other at the same time.

(y/n) leaps into Liam’s arms, before slowly sliding herself off him as the quad of dancers, follow closely behind, lifting (y/n) to her feet. Everyone proceeds to move as one, with the quad dancing in the center, whereas Liam paces their way to (y/n), lifting her into the air once again, before they land in a small leap. Conversing with their bodies, Liam guides (y/n)’s hands to their heart, slightly pulling her along. Finally coming to the end of the dance, (y/n) runs to the center of the stage, facing the audience.

Grabbing her left arm is Liam, pulling her to their side, and the quad of dancers are pulling her on her right. The war between the two goes back and forth in a tug-of-war before (y/n) seemingly gives up and slams herself to the ground, as the music fades into silence. The audience erupts into booming claps and cheers, and (y/n) feels herself being pulled up from the ground by Liam as a light blush covers her skin. Glancing up at the audience, she tries to smile despite the stage lights burning into her. I did it, I managed to make a story, my story come to life. Hearing the audience continuing to clap, realization sets in and she finds her eyes wandering over to the front row, seat G for George. Seat empty, her smile falters and her eyes become glassy. Some would think because of her success with her piece. She couldn’t tell if she was happy or sad, maybe it was a little bit of both.

>>>

9:23 p.m.

He’s here, he has to be. He’s probably peeing or waiting for me in the front with flowers, or in the dressing room. He has to be here, I know it, (y/n) mutters to herself, hellbent on her beliefs that George is here. Yet the bitter taste of rejection starts to seep into her bones. Shaking her head a bit and attempting to put on the brightest smile, she starts to rush back to the dressing room, a sinking feeling residing in her stomach with each looming step.

Facing the dressing room door, (y/n) can’t help but hope that maybe George is standing there with a bouquet of flowers and kisses reserved for her. Slowly opening the door, her hopes slip through with her mouth curling as she stares at only her reflection in the mirror. He swore that he’d be here. He swore that he would be here for my first performance, (y/n) softly whispers to herself, tears threatening to fall. Gasping, she finally lets herself breathe as she repeats to herself again and again that he wasn’t here.

A soft knock on the door interrupts her thoughts, causing (y/n) to quickly wipe her tears before foolishly yelling out,

“George?”, as the door opens to reveal Liam and the Director himself, Nicholas Anderson.

“(y/n)? It’s us. Where’s George?” Liam asks, a frown settling into his brows.

“Oh, he’s just in the bathroom, he hasn’t been feeling good.” She lies, feeling bile itch her throat. A little white lie shouldn’t hurt anyone, (y/n) thought.

“Hello, (y/n). You looked wonderful out there! Your dance was easily one of the highlights of the night, I couldn’t stop replaying the duet between you and Liam in my head. Your dance truly captured the aspects of a toxic relationship not from one side but from both of point of views. It truly showed exquisite pain, knowing that you would always go back to Liam, but would Liam be there for you?” Nicholas explains, his words smacking (y/n) at full force. Is- is George there for me?, (y/n) thinks to herself. Nicholas continues on,

“I think you are a great addition to our Academy, and tonight truly proved how ready you are to become a full-time member. So how about it? Next season, we’ll be adding you to the roster of choreographers.” Eyes wide, (y/n) nods furiously with a yes and hugs Liam. Nicholas smiles and exits the room, leaving behind two excited dancers jumping around.

“You did it! Now we have to celebrate! Club night, I don’t care. We are going to get plastered! Bring George!” Liam laughs. At the mention of George, her stomach turns as she then realizes George wasn’t here. What sounded like good news turns to rot as she starts thinking of George.

“Let me check my phone, it has been a while in the bathroom, huh?” (y/n) tries to joke, trying hard to not let her voice waver and letting her brain scramble to come up with another small lie. Reaching through her phone, she reads over the texts once again sent from family and friends, finding the conversation between her and George. No new messages, her heart sinks as she slowly starts to open up the rest of her notifications, scrolling to most likely find the purple box that would always stay permanently stuck on her home screen. With bright white letters glaring at her, her heart begins to ebb away feeling a familiar sense of loneliness.

1h, 53 min ago: MINECRAFT MANHUNT W/ THE DREAM TEAM

Relying on her emotions, she turns to face Liam, hoping that her excitement of her promotion would overcome the feeling of abandonment of the man she loved. Plastering a sad smile through watery eyes, she forces out,

“George isn’t feeling well, he’s got an upset stomach. I think it’s the stomach flu going around.” If you can convey pain through dance, you can lie through this as well, (y/n) thought. She continues,

“I don’t know if I should be going out since he’s sick.” (y/n) mutters.

“So we go without him! It’s your celebration, his loss.” Liam rolls their eyes. His loss, my loss - seems like the same.

“I- I don’t know, Liam… I’d want to celebrate with him as well.”

“And I get that, but at least go out with us. You always have tomorrow with him, or later tonight. Do it for tonight, do it because you’re going to be a choreographer next season! At least do it for me and the group. We’ve worked our ass all season and we made your vision come true.” Liam explains. Contemplating with herself, (y/n) resolves with a soft smile and mutters an okay. Pumping their fist in the air, Liam excuses themselves to notify the others of the good news and plans.

Once again facing the mirror, (y/n) repeats with determination to celebrate her night. It’s her night to celebrate with loved ones, even if the one she loved the most isn’t there beside her. So much trying to take your breath away when you weren’t even here, George. Taking a breath, she forces out a shaky laugh and tries to smile. Let’s go celebrate, (y/n).

>>>

1:39 a.m.

Slightly stumbling out of the taxi, (y/n) manages to slowly walk her way up to his doorsteps, phone still showing that George was still streaming. Pausing her hand on the doorknob, she resolves to try to wait until morning to confront him, not trusting herself completely to be okay in front of him. Opening the door softly, she walk in, attempting to not make a sound. With small steps, she closes and locks the door before setting her bags down. That can be cleaned tomorrow, (y/n) thought. Rubbing her eyes, she decides to make herself tea before she goes to bed, most likely not with George until he finishes his stream.

While making her tea, (y/n) thinks of everything that she has worked for in the last few months. Endless changes to her dance, countless small injuries, whether it be a jammed toe/finger, scrapes of blood scattered around her feet from dragging her feet too hard across the floor, everything. Why is it that with her triumph, she is beyond proud yet the idea of George not being there to witness her moment shatters that accomplishment? Mulling it over, she doesn’t notice George bustling down the stairs, finished with his successful 5 hour stream with Dream and Sapnap. Spotting (y/n) making her tea, he slowly approaches her and wraps his arms around her waist, landing a soft kiss to her shoulders.

“Why are you home late, Darling? It’s nearly almost two in the morning.”, George chuckles, as (y/n) freezes in his arms. Softly shaking her head, she tries to side-step out of his arms and brings her tea to the opposite side of the room, wrapping an arm around herself. Clearly, he didn’t remember, (y/n) slowly starts to think and repeat to herself.

“Why do you think I was out, George?” she softly asks, taking a sip of tea to calm her nerves. I guess we’re just going to have to hash it out now.

“I don’t know, but did you see the stream? I beat Dream at the last second and he was this close to defeating the Ender Dragon!”, George starts to explain while laughing, with (y/n) taking a harsh breath in. Pinching in-between her brows, she snaps,

“No, George, I didn’t see the stream because I went out to celebrate.”, she mutters, tears slowly starting to escape.

“(y/n)? Is there something wrong? Why are you crying?“ Turning around, (y/n) tries to look anywhere but him. She settles on looking at the clock, watching as time went by, and her nerves increasing with each second. George starts to say more-

“I needed you tonight. Do you remember what tonight was? To my career? To me?”, (y/n) cuts him off. Standing there without a thought, dread slowly seeps in as George realizes that he missed her performance. He starts to stutter,

“Darling, I- “

“No! No. You do not get to apologize. I needed you and where were you? Sitting on your ass playing Minecraft with Dream and Sapnap! I get that your career is very reliant on you being consistent with your uploads, but you couldn’t have taken a night off? For me? I- ”

“(y/n), it’s not like that at- “

“Don’t- just don’t try to explain or come up with excuses. I just don’t want to hear it George. I spent months working on this, exhausted yet still pushing myself for the damn Academy. You swore that you would be there. I left you the ticket on your nightstand, you even texted me saying that you were excited to come! So imagine me standing on stage, looking at the front row, seat G, and where the hell were you? Not there, George. You were not there. I looked like a fool waiting for you to see me perform and dance. Do you remember Nicholas Anderson?”, (y/n) tries to ask calmly. George only stare at her with defeated eyes as he shakes his head no. Cursing, she heaves out a breath before continuing,

“He’s the director of the Academy, George. He’s offered me a position to be a permanent member and choreographer for the London Dance Academy. So please, let me ask again: where were you? I had to lie to Liam and say that you had an upset stomach and that you couldn’t come out! So, Liam invited me to celebrate with the dancers, to celebrate tonight’s success.”

“(y/n)- (y/n), we can celebrate now. I know- I truly know I messed up, but I can fix it, we can celebrate right now!” George stumbles out, walking towards her to grab her hands. Stepping back, she glares at George, appalled that he truly thinks he could resolve this. Shaking her head harshly, she bites out,

“I don’t want to celebrate with you. I’ve already celebrated with loved ones.” Rolling his eyes, George tries to reason with (y/n).

“Okay, I get it. I’m the bad guy in this scenario. But I’m trying to make this right. I am so sorry, darling, but I want to make it up to you, you know I am sorry.”

“You know, I never ask you to cancel a stream or get off of the stream. I always try to understand for the life of me why the streams have to be long, but I try. I always watch your streams and interact with your fans for your sake. I’ve had to explain countless reasons as to why you never show up to my performances, or why you can’t go out with me with the other dancers. And I am okay with it, don’t get me wrong. I know how much Twitch and YouTube and the Dream Team means to you. But you mean everything to me as well. So forgive me if I wanted to be a little selfish and ask you to support me in one of the biggest performances of my life.”

“I can go to the next one, (y/n). It’s not like it’s the last performance.” George snaps.

“You don’t get it, do you?”, she asks, wiping furiously at her tears, trying to not stutter through her words.

“What is there to get? Clearly I’m trying my hardest to make it up to you.”, he replies.

“I love you. I’m so much in love with you, it hurts. But you don’t get it. I have been there for everything in your career. Your first hundred subscribers, your first million subscribers, when you won the MCC back to back, everything. This was- is the important night of my life, and you didn’t show up. You stuck with Dream and Sapnap and decided to stream instead. This night was important for my career, and you knew! I told you months and weeks in advance. I wanted you to take charge and clear your schedule for today and- and sit in the damn seat that I chose because G stood for George. It was for you.” She sobs out, chest shaking as she tries to collect the words tumbling out of her mouth. With eyes flashing in annoyance, George tries to speak over her tears,

“(y/n)- “

“I created this dance for you! For me and- and for us. Because we believed in each other and had the support for each other. Clearly, it was one-sided and tonight proved that.”

“(y/n), listen to me- ”, George stops himself. Watching (y/n) fall apart, he takes a shaky breath and tries to walk closer to (y/n). However, (y/n) takes more steps back, leaving a distance of hostility and guilt between the two lovers.

“I love you. I love you with all of my heart. And… and I know you love me. But I needed you. Do you even need me?” she asks, the thick silence covering the air.

“Yes! How- how could you even say that, (y/n)?“ George replies just as quick as she finished asking. Looking at him for the first time tonight, she lets out a sob. With cheeks red, hands tugging at his hair, and George frantically looking at her, (y/n) can’t help but cry a little more.

“Because tonight proved otherwise. I wanted a night of you to myself to watch me be pretty and dance, and you didn’t even give up one night for me.”, she says, tugging at her sweater. Looking up, she further goes on to say,

“How stupid would it be if I were to ask to choose between me or the Dream Team? Or- Or your career?”, barking out a bitter laugh as George stares with guilt. As silence meets her ears, (y/n) slowly starts to sober up, eyes slightly widening with shock.

“George…”

“I’d find a way to make it work, I’ve been making it work for us since the beginning!” George snaps.

“George, you know I would never ask that, because I personally think it’s a selfish question. But if I decided to ask seriously, right now. What’s your answer?”

“And I’m telling you, I am making both work. Please believe me, (y/n).”, George says quietly, grasping at whatever opportunities there are left to resolve this potentially fatal matter.

“I can’t tell anymore.”, her voice cracking as fresh tears pool down her cheeks.

“I don’t think I can stay here for a while. At least until I’ve had some time to think.”, she manages to force out.

“(y/n), you can’t be serious. No, we are fixing this now!” George tries to say with an unwavering voice, eyes slowly becoming glassy.

“I can’t look at you George without wanting to cry, and- and scream- yet tell you I love you, even if you don’t deserve my love, especially right now. I need to go- I’m going to go. I’ll be back in a while.”, (y/n) says, choking on her words. Walking backwards, she turns to the door, with George following her and watching her pick up her dance bags. Lying on the ground was a bouquet of flowers, crumpled amongst her heart. Choosing not to pick up the bouquet, she mumbles out,

“I’ll call you when I’m ready.” Pausing, (y/n) looks up at George for the final time tonight, willing herself to not run back to him, despite how much the desire is growing to do so.

“I love you, George.”, opening the door, George yells out,

“I love- “, the door cutting through his confession, acting as a wall between the two. George tries to reach the door knob, ready to run after the love of his life. Yet… he’s frozen on the spot, with tears finally trickling down his cheeks, and pushing deep breaths out to steady his shaking heart.

Why are you crying, George?

146 notes · View notes

marauder-exe · 5 years ago

Text

AU list!

hi! These are a bunch of Au’s that i could write,and you could request! (reposting because it didnt work the first time)

General

Fake dating (My personal favourite)

Soulmates

Coffee shop

Modern Royalty

Rockstar

Running From The Police

Rebel Against The Goverment

High School

University

Law school

Delayed-Flights-And-Were-Stuck-In-The-Airport-And-Its-Like-2Am

Roommates

Road Trip

Arranged Marriage

Im-Arranged-To-Marry-Your-Brother-But-Were-In-Love

Amnesia

Tattoo-Artist-And-Coffee-Shop-Worker

Loved-Since-Childhood

Professor-Student (of age)

Met-On-Holiday

More detailed

21.You were singing/playing guitar/etc. in the park to protest the war and a policeman tried to dismiss you for 'disturbing the peace' but you argued that you were promoting peace and things got heated and next thing you know you're being arrested for assaulting an officer. You intrigue me, so I'm here to bail you out and maybe take you on a date?

22.the nice one who everybody loves with the grumpy and strict one that the students hate and the students wonder?????????how what the fuck

23.we just had a one-night stand but a massive storm hit so now we’re snowed in, hello awkward

24. i sit at the rental booth at our local ice rink and watch you teach children how to skate

25. alternatively, i watch kids teach you how to skate because you’re a terrible skater

26. i’m running late to an important interview/meeting and you accidentally spill your hot cocoa all over my outfit

27. you’re my hot ski instructor and i’m failing the bunny hill

28. i slip on some ice and you’re the stranger who catches me

29. i gave my winter coat to a homeless person and come into your store to warm up

30. our friends rent a cabin to go skiing and we’re the only ones who stay inside

31. you’re the asshole of our group and we don’t get along, but then i find out you make soup for the local shelter

32.we’re waiting in line for the club when you complain that your roommate stole your gloves so let me warm your hands up with mine

33.my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and i’m so sorry

34.the power goes out in our apartment building, but i’m not prepared for this, and you come to check on me

35.i’m having a snowball fight with my friend in the park and i hit you instead

36.a storm is delaying our flight home and i’m afraid of thunder, please talk to me while we wait

37. we’re both in small claims court and i got into a huge fight with the person suing me but you stepped in to hold me back before security got there

38. i drove two hours to the closest video rental store that’s still operating and you were checking out the only copy of the movie i was after

39. i hit you with my car but luckily you’re okay, but we should still exchange information i guess

40. i was worried about buying something off of someone creepy from craigslist but oh no you’re hot

41. my friend talked me into playing a drunken game of spin the bottle even though we’re all adults and now we have to make out

42. we both decided to take a [yoga/fencing/cooking etc] class and we’re the only two assholes not taking it seriously and everyone else is giving us dirty looks but we keep grinning over at each other

43. my date just made a scene in public and got arrested and now i’m stranded in a city without a ride home

44. sharing a cab together

45. you’re trying to get me to sign a petition and i have no idea what you’re talking about

46. you’re drunk at this festival and dancing on the table and when you eventually fell i caught you

47. we both play this stupid game online and you keep beating me every single goddamn time so i called you out and you are pretty cute but can you not

48. im a bartender and you just came in here without shoes sat down and ordered a chocolate volcano and idk what the fuck that is and im scared to ask

49. we are neighbours and every night at 3:14 am you start yodeling for no fucking reason??? why???? is that you yodeling??? its been 2 months???

50.im a pizza delivery person and i just delivered a pizza to someone in the middle of a satanic ritual and they gave me their number???

51. i woke up this morning to find you sitting in my living room with a goat in a poncho??? who are you??? why is the goat wearing a poncho??? how did you get the goat in here i live on the 12th floor???

52. we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know

53. im a cashier and i saw you stuffing you pants full of potatoes and i would stop you but you already have 27 and i want to see how many you can fit

54. its 4 am and im drunk as fuck in a mcdonalds and you have been watching my trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes

55. i was playing beer pong with a coin and i accidentally threw it right into your eye at a party

56. i’m at the beach and some kids thought it was funny to bury me in the sand when i dozed off can you please dig me out

57. it’s unbearably hot and we’re both fighting over the last handheld electrical fan at the shop at the amusement park

58. hey i just met you, and this is crazy, but i get sunburned really easily so can you please help me put sunscreen on my back?

59. thunderstorm after a menacing heatwave and we’re both getting weird looks for dancing in the rain

60.i have no idea who you are but you just fainted right in front of me holy shit dude you need to drink more in this heat

61. we both chased after the leaving ice cream van like ten-year-olds and now we’re both out of breath and a bit embarrassed

62.i clearly reserved this deck chair by putting a towel on it why on earth are you lying on it who the fuck do you think you are

63. My friends bet I wouldn’t buy these three weird and questionable items and you’re my cashier.

64.Once a week I go visit the pet store just to stare at the cute kittens and puppies and you’re the nice employee who always lets me hold them and wait I think I’m going to cry hold on.

65.You’re the DJ of the University’s radio station and every time you give an opinion on a current event I have to call and argue with you because could you seriously be anymore wrong?

66.We both wait tables at the same restaurant and you’re always mad at me by the end of the night because I make more in tips

67.We have the same class and once a week you wear this graphic shirt I don’t understand and I really want to ask you about it.

68.We both work at the same craft store that literally has no customers so we have nothing to do and I’m always reading at the register but you always have to criticize my book choice what the hell?

69.I’m working the concession stand for this week’s home game and this is the fifth time you’ve come back for snacks wait are you flirting with me?

70. we’re at a bookstore and you and I seem to have similar taste in books have you read this one? How about this one?

71. you look like you need help and I’m a professional roller/ice skater but I don’t want you to feel bad about how much you suck but wow you suck

72. You ordered your food before me and they gave you a drink you didn’t want so you gave it to me

73. We’re sitting at adjacent computers in the library and I’m taking extra care not to look at your screen out of respect but what the fuck do you keep laughing at

74. as a joke I yelled out “happy birthday to someone!” in this store and you called back “thank you!” who are you

75. You heard me talking about a TV show in class the other day and now you’re passionately yelling at me about how good it is we’ve never actually spoken before

76. It’s 10:30 at night and I left my glasses at home so I can’t read any of these labels and you’re one of the only people in the grocery store and GODDAMMIT DO YOU HAVE ANY TOMATO SAUCE WITHOUT CHUNKS

77. We go to the same support group; I have social anxiety and you’re a kleptomaniac who sorta stole my heart

78. You thought you were alone at the bus stop so early in the morning so you started passionately singing Fall Out Boy but your Patrick Stump impression could use some work and I’m not really afraid to point that out

79. I’m an artist and you have a really nice face so would you mind if I drew you?

80. We’re rival up-and-coming singers and every time one of us releases a new single the other does a cover to try to make it better; we’re always trying to top each other and out-cute each other, but half our fans aggressively ship us; our agents use this to their advantage and decide we should do a duet because it’ll be popular; unfortunately now that we’re in the same studio and I’ve seen what you’re like I really wanna know what your lips feel like

81.PLEASE I REALLY CANNOT FIND MY CAT AND I KNOW IT’S THREE A.M. BUT NEIL CATRICK HARRIS AND I WOULD BOTH APPRECIATE THE HELP

82. We were both stood up for dates at the same nice restaurant so we decide to eat together and split the check but I dunno you’re pretty interesting aside from your distractingly enormous eyebrows

83. We met at a mutual friend’s cheesy masquerade party and we agree that the only good thing about this party is the masks so you can’t judge a book by its cover only now that we’ve been talking I want to see your face but I don’t know how to ask

84. You used to date my friend who absolutely hates your guts after a messy breakup and now you’re flirting with me and I really shouldn’t be so interested in you but I am

85.We pass each other every day while we’re biking on the same path so we’ve started smiling at each other and one day you’re stopped because you’re having an asthma attack so I offer you my extra water bottle and now we’re talking and now I’M the one who’s breathless

86.I lost my little sibling in IKEA and I need your help finding them

87.I'm a private detective hired to follow you, but you're endearingly boring and mostly I just like watching you and oops, I sort of find you adorable.

88. You've been sketching me for half an hour now, and just shuffled up to hand me the finished product and it's TERRIBLE but you just wanted an excuse to talk to me.

89. I'm at an art exhibit and I just badmouthed the art, because I don't get it, okay? And it turns out you're the artist. I'm so sorry, maybe I could get you coffee and you could explain what it was supposed to be?

90. We're the only two people who turned up to an underground gig and it should be awkward, but the band is amazing and you asked me to dance and hey, there's nobody watching but us.

91. You live in the apartment next to me. We're not supposed to have pets, but I KNOW you have a cat. I'll make you a deal, I won't tell, if you let me pet it.

92. I punched you because I thought you were insulting my friend, but it turns out you know each other and it was an inside joke and I'm so sorry, let me drive you to the hospital?

93. We both wanted to rent a bike for an hour but the only one they have is a tandem bike

94. I’m on a terrible date and you’re my waitor please help me

95.Our dick landlord just evicted us both

96.I’m your neighbor and I can hear you fucking someone who shares my name

97. You’re sort of famous and we vaguely know each other through bumping into each other all the time but the media thinks we’re dating

98. Your roommate cheated on me and I just threw your laptop out the window thinking it was his

99. It’s 2am on the night of my 21st birthday and we gotta fix this fucking mess by morning or else we’re fucked

100.Fuck you and your bee farm I’ve had enough

Feel free to use any of these as your own! If you wanna request you could drop an inbox saying ‘ could you do ____ AU with this character’!

#remus lupin x reader #sirius black x reader #james potter x reader #lily evans x reader #cedric diggory x reader #regulus black x reader #fred weasley x reader #george weasley x reader #hermione granger x reader

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therappundit · 3 years ago

Text

***Best of the 1st Half of 2021: SONG EDITION***

Six months into 2021 and since 2020 wrapped up...some things in the world have changed, while other things remain the same (for better or worse). Folks, it’s time to talk about rap music in 2021...

One trend definitely has continued well into 2021: the underground rap world - I’m talking the artists, the aesthetic, the sound, the full projects, every box you can think of - continues to kick the mainstream rap world’s ass. There are already signs of the two imaginary separate worlds intermingling more and more, and we will have to deal with the pros and cons of that down the line...but one thing is for sure: rap music runs deeper, and more sonically diverse than ever before, and as long as there is an internet to enlist the ears and talents of artists from all over the world, the art form will continue to divide, change shape, borrow from the old and add some new, again and again. And we will all be better for it.

So let’s dive right in. As usual there are about 1,000 more songs that I would love to cram into this list, but there are only so many spots...and I’m married with a toddler, so even though I am listening to rap music for a concerningly large portion of my day, it takes a lot of extra coffee and less sleep to keep these posts going (but it’s still worth it, I love connecting with folks over the same under-discussed but ridiculously dope songs and artists).

There are many lists but none quite like this one, here is THE RAP PUNDIT’S LIST OF THE BEST RAP SONGS FROM THE FIRST HALF OF 2021....hope you find some joints you never heard before and really enjoy. And to all of the MCs, Producers, mixers, singers, curators, readers, writers, critics - anyone that contributes something to this music I love....thank you, as always. 🙏

[Bonus joint] 55. “GANG GANG” - Polo G feat. Lil Wayne

https://soundcloud.com/polo-g/polo-g-lil-wayne-gang-gang?in=polo-g/sets/hall-of-fame-675200176

[Bonus joint] 54. “Furious Styles” - Illa Styles feat. Nickelus F https://illastyles.bandcamp.com/track/furious-styles-ft-nickelus-f

[Bonus joint] 53. “Box of Churches” - Pooh Sheisty feat. 21 Savage

https://soundcloud.com/ceo-mrpooh/box-of-churches-feat-21-savage

[Bonus joint] 52. “Beating Down Yo Block” - Monaleo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnMPEfV0bSA

[Bonus joint] 51. “BUZZERBEATER” - Rahiem Supreme feat. Al.Divino & Estee Nack

https://franksvinylrecords.bandcamp.com/track/buzzerbeater-feat-al-divino-estee-nack

50. "A Man Apart” - Rx Papi

https://soundcloud.com/rxpapi/a-man-apart-prod-by-noisy?in=rxpapi/sets/100-miles-walkin

(Face it: you’re either feelin’ the Rx flow or you’re not. The endlessly quotable MC is not always taken seriously, but similar to how the saddest clowns are most adept at masking their pain behind a smile, Papi needs to be taken seriously as a talented rap artist.)

49. “Moving On Up” - Evidence feat. Conway The Machine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5F35OOXvQ4c

(Evidence, Babu, Daringer and Conway all joining forces on a record feels like a timeline altering reach between two completely different generations of elite underground hip-hop artists, but in the case of “Moving On Up”, it’s not just a “hey wouldn’t it be dope if” fantasy, it’s a sweet reality. Ev has connected with the Griselda camp before and of course the results are dope. Add this one to the list, one of the many fine moments off of Unlearning Vol. 1.)

48. “Gordon Ramsay Freestyle” - Remble

https://soundcloud.com/remble2/gordon-ramsay-freestyle-prod-by-laudiano

(An attention grabbing MC if ever I heard one, Remble clearly hails from the same camp as Drakeo The Ruler - Stinc Team - but with that flow and sense of humor, he may develop a lot more than just a strong following out on the West Coast. Look out for Remble, he is knocking on the door of blowing, he’s just one key feature away...)

47. “The Shifts” - maassai feat. AKAI SOLO

https://maassai.bandcamp.com/track/the-shifts-feat-akai-solo

(If you haven’t checked out one of 2021′s most quietly impressive albums, I cannot recommend With The Shifts enough.)

46. “BOXINABACK” - Bris feat. Alphie Blood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3ai7WYivGo

(The career of Sacramento’s Bris was really beginning to pick up momentum in 2020...sadly, he was killed the same year. I cannot pretend to be an expert in the Sscramento rap scene, I just know that it’s been bubbling for a while, and this song really captured my attention as soon as I heard it. RIP, Bris.)

45. “Last Day Out” - Rio Da Yung OG

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB51CUUod1w

(Right before Rio Da Yung OG entered the penitentiary, he dropped “Last Day Out”, a song that perfectly captures what the rap game will be missing while he’s gone - and more brutal honesty than we are accustomed to hearing from Flint, Michigan’s punchline killer.)

44. “Thousand Miles” - MAVI

https://mavi.bandcamp.com/track/thousand-miles

(The whole EP is impressive, but I think this joint most actually captures MAVI’s rhyme skills, flow and song writing ability. With young talent like this bubbling up from the underground scene, the future of rap music is as strong as ever.)

43. “Appletree” - Valee & KiltKarter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPO2AXgZMSc

(Not necessarily a vibe that everyone will be into...but one that if you are into it, you will reap the rewards in abundance. It’s so enjoyable to hear Valee applying his unpredictable cadence to new music once again, made that much more enjoyable by the fact that he has already dropped THREE mixtapes in 2021 and it’s only July!)

42. “Next Chamber” - Peter Rosenberg feat. Method Man, Raekwon & Willie The Kid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1amHQefki98

(Admit it: this is the type of production we have all been wanting on Wu-Tang albums for years. We won’t get it, but this is closer to the sound that they represented....and of course let’s not forget about the always welcome WTK feature, who does more than hold his own over the NY legends.)

41. “St. James Liquor” - Skyzoo feat. Aaria

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWC_tFzqUz8

(Pen game’s don’t come much finer than Skyzoo’s. The Brooklyn MC put a lot of work into All The Brilliant Things, and the final result was a collection of thoughtful rap songs like this one: descriptive, autobiographical rhymes over beautiful instrumentation that conjures memories of classic Roots records, and the headspace that only the greatest early 90′s East Coast lyricism could provide. Great song, great album.)

40. “10″ - Drakeo the Ruler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIRJoQFyS6c

(One of the best stories in 2020 rap music was when Drakeo hit the street once again, after a painfully long stretch of time in prison. He really hit the ground running in 2021, dropping one quality track after another...but then again, he never really stopped making dope rap in the first place, be it in the studio or over prison phone.)

39. “MASSA” - Tyler, The Creator feat. DJ Drama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vGz0bFutZs

(When folks were saying that Tyler was RAPPING rapping on his new album, this is what they were talking about. Not since Kanye West has a polarizing rapper-producer excelled so well at spilling his guts all over a track, and moments like this "MASSA” make Call Me If You Get Lost the standout project that it is.)

38. "DARTGUNZ” - Chuck Strangers

https://soundcloud.com/chuckstrangers/dartgunz-produced-by-samiyam

(Chuck Strangers remains low-key one of the best MC / Producers in the game, but Chuck is merely flexing his bar-work on this Samiyam produced gem.)

37. “Messy” - Nappy Nina & JWords

https://nappynina.bandcamp.com/track/messy

(Big shout-out to Pitchfork for putting me on to Nappy Nina within their rap song of the day section, The Ones. I love her music, and when paired with the incredibly gifted producer JWords - who I was only somewhat familar with thanks to previous terrific collaborations with MIKE and maassai - the result is a dope ass album like Double Down.)

36. “Nobles” - The Alchemist feat. Earl Sweatshirt & Navy Blue

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQoKO_v93g0

(The instrumental sounds as a triumphant as you could expect music from this trio to sound. My only complaint about This Things Of Ours was that it wasn’t 10-50 songs longer.)

35. “Nothing Like The Sun” - Tree feat. Roc Marciano

https://mctreeg.bandcamp.com/track/nothing-like-the-sun-feat-roc-marciano

(Okay so for the past few years, I had been pressing Tree, Closed Sessions, and just about anyone that would listen that a less than a minute clip from an old Tree promo featured an unreleased Tree & Roc Marciano joint. So finding out that this joint would *finally* being released on Tree’s Soul Trap album, it felt like Christmas morning. Now the world finally gets to hear two of the finest rap artists from the past decade plus!)

34. “nine lives” - maassai

https://maassai.bandcamp.com/track/nine-lives

(A great example of a song that seems to get better and better as it goes on, maassai & that horn sample are undeniably good on here.)

33. “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” - Drake feat. Rick Ross

https://soundcloud.com/octobersveryown/drake-lemon-pepper-freestyle?in=octobersveryown/sets/scary-hours-2-1

(This one really radiates, “YES, you have heard this before”...but when it works so well, that’s not such a bad thing. Drake came ready to rap, and it will propel this joint to the top of many lists you will find on those other web sites.)

32. “triboro.” - Remy Banks feat. Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire, Wiki & A-Trak

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwSJ-DtZRBk

(I dig this in a big way. A few of NYC’s finest, flexing over what feels like blasting Kraftwerk out of a boombox on the L Train? I’m so on board.)

31. “Safe To Say” - Good Gas, Fki 1st & Band Gang Lonnie Bands feat. Band Gang Biggs & Glockboyz Teejaee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aykhcv625u0

(Of all my favorite projects that dropped in 2021 thus far, I don’t know if any have been as inexplicably under-discussed as the Good Gas, Fki 1st & Band Gang Lonnie Bands banger, Street Dream Team. I stumbled upon the project completely by accident one week while thumbing through all of the new joints that dropped from Detroit MCs one week, and I have kept it in heavy rotation ever sense. While not necessarily a spot-on snapshot of Band Gang Lonnie Bands’ typical sound, for a Michigan outsider like me, it makes for a great entry level intro to one of my favorite rappers out of the Motor City right now.)

30. "Early Exit” - Lloyd Banks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BUofKVrb-A

(Yeah the Roc Marciano verse sounds like it was recorded over an old radio on cassette tape, but as someone from the real mixtape era, I’m not going to let shaky sound quality distract from the fact that every other part of the song is fantastic. The bars are there of course, but the beat and hook are all spot-on, and sound quality be damed it’s just great to hear Banks & Roc together.)

29. "Yonkers” - Wiki & NAH

https://wiksetnyc.bandcamp.com/track/yonkers

(Rife with experimentation and half-freestyles, and sonically living somewhere between Company Flow and Ratking, the subterranean metro sounds of Wiki and NAH’s Telephonebooth might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you have been checking for Wiki’s music prior to this point, chances are you are going to be feeling this collaboration with NAH, a producer that I was previously not familiar with, but became a huge fan over night thanks to cuts like “Yonkers”.)

28. “John Wick” - AKAI SOLO & Navy Blue

(Whether you still believe “lo-fi” rap is a legitimate sub-genre or not, there’s no denying the abilities of these two gifted writers/artists. The wind is blowing in this direction my friends, I just hope you get on board soon and stop neglecting all of the great rap music rising from this corner of the underground.)

https://akaisolo.bandcamp.com/track/john-wick-prod-navy-blue

27. “Let It Roll Interlude” by IAMNOBODI feat. Phonte & BeMyFiasco

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVA1hXEnwnE

(Hard to believe that arguably the strongest rap verse of 2021 would be so under the radar, but here we are...)

26. "Taylor Made Suit” - Evidence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qLIuc3z7KQ

(Perhaps the thing I love most about this new Ev - both the song itself, as well as the entire album - is how incredibly effective he sounds over minimalist production throughout. “Funeral suit, same as my wedding suit”...shout-out to the legendary MC and producer, both for everything that has has endured in his personal life and his ability to turn his pain into art.)

25. “GOOFIEZ” - Mother Nature and Boathouse feat. Valee

https://mothernaturebarz.bandcamp.com/track/goofiez-featuring-valee

(When Chicago talent gets busy on a record, not many can hang with them. Be on the lookout for more and more big things from the likes of Mother Nature, Valee, and Boathouse.)

24. “Peach Cobbler” - Navy Blue

https://navybluethetruest.com/

(I’m not sure if there is a “chosen one” right now, someone destined to reach such levels of success and/or respect that Drake & Kendrick-esque waves are felt over a generation...but if there is, the mega-talented producer/MC/skater/whatever he wants to be Navy Blue might fit the bill.)

23. “Rose Gold” - 42 Dugg feat. EST Gee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhmKfKZr-PQ

(There are more than a few songs off of 42 Dugg’s Free Dem Boyz that belong in my Top 50, but “Rose Gold” gets the nod off the strength of the menacing beat paired with 42 and one of the most scorching hot rappers walking the earth right now, EST Gee)

22. "MANIFESTO” - Tyler, The Creator feat. Domo Genesis & DJ Drama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnDXCoHRl4o

(The Selena Gomez/Justin Bieber bar will garner most of the hype around this joint, but don’t let it distract from the fact that this song is one of the best collaborations between former Odd Future members since the collective’s creative peak.)

21. “What’s Next” - Drake

https://soundcloud.com/octobersveryown/drake-whats-next?in=octobersveryown/sets/scary-hours-2-1

(Pay attention to this Drake guy, I think he has a shot of making it. He makes it seem so easy, yet he has no peers at his level right now. There’s the growing underground elite...then there’s Drake, and little competition to duke it out with him when it comes to smash rap hits....assuming that is still supposed to be a thing?)

20. “MOMENTZ” - Mother Nature and Boathouse

https://mothernaturebarz.bandcamp.com/track/momentz-2

(You would be hard pressed to find a more enjoyable, high quality tape than SZNZ. The Chicago MCs rock a beat that sounds like a Camp Lo leftover - and I mean that in the best way possible - and show a natural penchant for earwormy choruses that should serve them very well in this biz.)

19. “Grace Jones” - maassai

https://maassai.bandcamp.com/track/grace-jones

(Somewhere between spoken word and where Lyricist Lounge-era Rawkus resides, you can find the warrior poet that is maassai: quite simply one of the most impressive MCs in rap right now.)

18. “How It Feels” - Lil Baby & Lil Durk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAsRTTO8L2k

(I know how it feels to care relatively little about a collaboration project between two of the game’s more revered Lil’s, then be blown away by both of them rapping their asses off for like 20 songs.)

17. “Falling Out the Sky” - Armand Hammer & The Alchemist feat. Earl Sweatshirt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctmTme9cG74

(There’s wavy, and then there’s wavy in the hands of The Alchemist, Earl Sweatshirt and Armand Hammer. One of Haram’s many standouts, this one is probably not what fans expected when they first saw the album’s tracklist, but it might actually be more special than we expected.)

16. “Capitol 1″ - EST Gee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ng7Sg1_RTM

(Mark my words: by the time we reach the end of 2021, EST Gee will be in the top 10 of every reputable rap site’s best MC list. At least I know that he will most likely be on mine.)

15. “LUMBERJACK” - Tyler, the Creator feat. DJ Drama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WOjaYotX1c

(Who knew we needed Tyler to join forces with DJ Drama to rap over a Gravediggaz joint? Never one to do what everyone expects, when this cut dropped about a week before his new album was released, it was clear that he was ready to pick up where he left off with his impressive bar-work on a flurry of features in 2020. Now that I think about it, after “Something To Talk About” and “327″ maybe we shouldn’t be surprised that Tyler dropped one of the hardest joints of the year.)

14. “The Stellar Ray Theory” - Mach-Hommy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3GWJrL2ht0

(The single that Mach & Griselda stans were terrified to hear, at the risk of revealing their no-longer-a-secret project to be a painful example of how far the parties had drifted since their over-publicized fallout, only to find the opposite: Mach & Gunn didn’t just find their chemistry once again, they improved upon it.)

13. “Sandra” - MIKE

https://mikelikesrap.bandcamp.com/track/sandra

(With his new Disco! album, MIKE managed to step outside of his typical lane of delivery, showing how nimble he truly is as a MC, and even takes his skills to another level as a producer, delivering what might be the most enjoyable album of his career thus far.)

12. "No Time” - Your Old Droog feat. Wiki

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y8Ozq9tMLE

(The new YOD album sounds so painstakingly written and executed, you would never believe it just casually dropped out of the blue one evening. Few are better at crafting themes without compromising the joy of listening to the music, Droog delivered once again.)

11. "What The Money Taught Us” - Skyzoo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV2QEbxMYgU

(This new Skyzoo album has so much beauty to unpack, please dig in if you have been keeping it on the back-burner for some reason.)

And now the Top 10...

10. “Folie Á Deux” - Mach-Hommy feat. Westside Gunn & Keisha Plum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF1-VvJsbqI

(Conductor Williams does it again, putting his own unique touch to one of Pray For Haiti’s standout cuts. The song is almost beautiful sound if it wasn’t for Westside Gunn, Mach and Keisha Plum pumping their own unique rawness into the beat. This one represents everything going right with Griselda right now.)

9. “Hallways” - Peter Rosenberg feat. Roc Marciano & Flee Lord

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrDrvozDzo4

(Superior to anything on last year’s Mt. Marci, Disco Vietnam really blessed Flee Lord and Roc Marciano with the type of late night loungin’ in New York banger that Roc knows how to knock out the park better than anyone. “Hallways” screams late night underground radio in a way that feels both nostalgic and fresher than just about anything out right now.)

8. "Seeing Green” - Nicki Minaj feat. Lil Wayne & Drake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diUcHDlCqMo

(Many have tried to recapture the skill, swagger, and star power of The Roc in the early 00′s, but most have not been able to come close. Leave it to the diamonds in Young Money’s crown to come through and capture the pomp and circumstance so successfully, it’s amazing that Just Blaze wasn’t somehow involved. If you aren’t feelin’ at least one of these verses, time to join a hater support group.)

7. “Prayers Over Packages” - DJ Muggs & Rome Streetz & DJ Muggs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2r2AYxN20ZI

(Most underground artists must be so excited to have the legendary DJ Muggs lace them with a full project, and I’m sure Rome Streetz was honored. But while Muggs delivered another strong performance on Death & The Magician, it’s Rome that elevates the material to truly masterful levels.)

6. “Wants and Needs” - Drake feat. Lil Baby

https://soundcloud.com/octobersveryown/drake-wants-and-needs-feat-lil?in=octobersveryown/sets/scary-hours-2-1

(Yes Drake still has the touch, one of rap music’s few legitimate hitmakers left....but hot damn, it’s Lil Baby coming through to turn the joint to ashes that carries “Wants and Needs” to song of the year caliber levels.)

5. “S.R.D.” - Peter Rosenberg feat. Styles P, Ransom & Smok DZA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tzSrIZ8tso

(Don’t overthink it: the watery boom-bap backdrop provided by Buck Dudley is exquisite, and all three MCs go in. I think it’s time to admit that if it wasn’t for the like him or passionately hate him aura around Peter Rosenberg, a lot more folks would. be praising this compilation as one of the finest since peak DJ street tape era.)

4. “Black Sunlight” - Armand Hammer & The Alchemist feat. KAYANA

https://armandhammer.bandcamp.com/track/black-sunlight-featuring-kayana

(What more can I say about this union by now? Al dipping into his breezy bag to bless the lyrical onslaught of billy woods and ELUCID was not something that I thought I needed, but after hearing them cook together I don’t know if I ever want Armand Hammer to go back to the bleak soundscapes they’re often know for. The contract in style was so effective throughout Haram, bringing out the best from all parties, in my not-so-humble opinion...hopefully even more to come from this alliance.)

3. “TV Dinners” - The Alchemist feat. Sideshow & Boldy James

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuUGrlVivic

(A slick, seemingly harmless little head nodder from The Alchemist, Boldy and the rapidly ascending main-stage level Sideshow. I felt this one right from the jump the day Al’s This Thing of Ours EP dropped, and it’s remained high on my list of 2021 favorites ever since. Give me a bunch of chill MCs doing deceptively slick pen-work over a jazzy but simple loop, and I’m set.)

2. “The 26th Letter” - Mach-Hommy feat. Westside Gunn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7jcjW8h230

(Forget the albums that go for thousand of dollars. Forget the mysterious aura around him, forget the Twitter stan-dom and those that loathe them, and forget the flames of Griselda gossip that are fanned by both fans and doubters....and just imagine you never heard this MC rap before and you have just pressed play on “The 26th Letter”. )

1. “Kill All Rats” - Conway & Big Ghost LTD. feat. Ransom & Rome Streetz

https://bigghostlimited.bandcamp.com/track/kill-all-rats-ft-ransom-rome-streetz

(Whenever attempting to wrangle my favorite songs into one tidy list, there is one ex-factor that can elevate a collection of bars to an elite song: execution. You already know that when punchlines kings the caliber of Ransom, Rome Streetz, and Conway The Machine get on a record together, it’s bound to be a bar-fest....but to the extent of “Kill All Rats”??? Not expected. The name of the song itself invites a certain degree of redundancy, but when three great MCs jump on a track and write verses near the top of their skill level - and when a producer like Big Ghost sounds equally incensed with the instrumental that he brought to the table - even a straight-forward posse cut can end up being the best rap song of the year thus far.)

*COMING SOON: BEST RAP ALBUMS, AND RAP VERSES OF THE FIRST HALF OF 2021...stay tuned.* 👀

See also:

https://therappundit.tumblr.com/post/649527317251670016/best-of-the-1st-quarter

https://therappundit.tumblr.com/post/638904640503726080/the-best-rap-songs-of-2020-great-songs-that

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dontasktheradiodemon · 4 years ago

Text

Radio Host & Radio Ghost - Nov 14

Alastor meets a ghost possessing a vintage radio.

He’s absolutely delighted.

Valera

Valera hums, rubbing their hands together. What a lovely day to bring demons into their home. Not a single consequence could possibly result from this! With Alastor's okay, they could finally get around to opening a portal for him, whatever water he'd decided was sufficient rippling and turning into an inky void before his eyes. On her side, Valera plops back on the couch and awaits his arrival.

Alastor

And Alastor’s more than ready to jump through the inky void he’s been promised is a portal!

He has not, however, been informed that the portal he just jumped DOWN into is VERTICAL on the other side.

He lands on his back with a blurt of confused mixed frequency crosstalk. What.

Valera

A laugh track plays from across the room, and Valera leans forward to get a good eyeful of the poor, confused fellow. "My dear, if I'd known you were falling all over yourself to get here, I'd have invited you much sooner! Come now, pick up those sorry spirits and have some spirits with me." Funny way to talk about spiked tea, but alright Val.

Alastor

Disoriented by the 90° shift in the angle of gravity, he blinks up at the ceiling for a moment. “What, was the repeated pleading to come see it not obvious enough?”

As his head sorts itself out he abruptly registers the laugh track—SOMEBODY ELSE’S laugh track—and he immediately sits up and looks toward the source of the sound. “Well!!” He’s on his feet in a flash and crossing the room, heading like an arrow toward the authentic, vintage, genuine, incomparable 1931 Philco 90 Baby Grand Cathedral Radio. “Oh my goodness, what a beauty! Look at this! Oh, this is the only cathedral I’ll ever worship at.” He kneels down to get a better look at the front of it. “The wood needs a little love and care—walnut, isn’t it? I don’t know wood but I know my radios, I could swear Philco used walnut—but it’s in fantastic condition!” He presses the side of his head to the front, eyes closed like he’s trying to listen to it. “All nine tubes sound beautiful, just beautiful!” Apparently that’s something you can hear, at least if you’re Alastor.

He sits back and turns to the man sitting next to the radio, beaming. “Listen to me, gushing away without even—Hello! May I compliment you on your lovely home, sir!”

Valera

Whatever Valera was planning to say is forgotten immediately, Alastor's enthusiastic response to her latest acquisition more than entertaining enough to distract her from her train of thought.

The radio flicks on and off like its fluttering its lashes, dial twirling playfully in a reflection of the Ghost Of The Hour's own beaming grin. A waggle of his fingers, and he speaks, voice emanating from the radio and rather garbled as the dial flicks back and forth.

"Compliment taken and appreciated, you beautiful stranger! Aren't *you* all the candy and then some? Lovely to meet a man who knows his stuff, you're right on all counts! Walnut, hand rubbed finish, this is a genuine type two article straight from the production line of late 1931! Updated with AVC and the beautiful addition of type 47 power pentode tubes for the finest and most reasonably priced audio on the market!" A pause to "breathe" as the radio's light flickers, and he shrugs, still beaming. "I'd offer to shake your hand, my good man, but I find I left my tangibility back home. Though I'm happy to try!"

Alastor

His invisible studio audience oohs and aahs appreciatively at each new technical detail. “Reasonably priced, oh, boy—I’d barely paid off a ‘32 when I died! Eighty bucks, if I remember right! Well with the price but good golly if I wouldn’t have loved to enjoy it a little longer.”

He gets to his feet, leaving one hand lingering on top of the radio affectionately. “Oh, I’d give it a shot! Typically, the dead can touch the dead.” He offers his hand. “The name’s Alastor! I’m a radio man myself—on air from ‘24 to ‘33, you might have heard me if you were in range of New Orleans! And what do I call you, my friend?”

Valera

"Oh! A fellow dearly departed? And so close to my own time, give or take a few years! I'd offer my condolences on your departure from the mortal realm, but it seems to me that you're doing rather well for yourself! PLEASURE to meet you, Alastor!" He takes the offered hand in his own, grinning even wider when he realizes he can actually touch the red newcomer. He's got a handshake like he's going to sell you something, firm and eager. "New Orleans, you say? KTRD? Well I never! I do believe I played your station in my old shop! Your broadcast helped me sell quite a few radios back in the day."

A delighted chuckle, and he gives Alastor's hand a last squeeze before dropping it to mess with his suit lapels. "My friends called me Al, but my name is Alexander! I had some other names too I'm sure, but they haven't found their way back yet."

Alastor

He shakes back just as eagerly and his grin stretches wider. “Yessiree, that was me! *Your Pal Al, first voice you hear in the morning and last voice you hear at night!* Why, if I’d known that I was doing free advertising for Philco, I would have written them a letter and asked them to give me a Baby Grand on the house. Still, probably the best eighty bucks I ever spent.”

He takes a step back, giving Alexander a bit of his own space. “I’d catch you up on what you missed, but I’d probably only be able to offer you a couple of years—were you ‘31, or did that just happen to be the model you had nearby when you shuffled off the mortal coil?—and I’ve spent my time since then down in Hell—hope that’s not too off-putting, you know how it is, make a few little mistakes and forget to say your Hail Marys before you kick the bucket and suddenly you find you’re serving an afterlife sentence without possibility of parole! I expect you’ve had a better chance to keep up with the news than I have!”

Valera

"I'd have sent you one myself if I hadn't bought the farm! But your business was appreciated, I'm sure. A radio broadcaster with your chops has quite the eye for quality if I do say so myself, your radio was in the best hands possible!"

"This beauty was a gift from my parents, got it new and died within the month, if memory serves! Damn shame, but it all worked out. I'm sure my mothers would be charmed that I was so attached!"

He waves off the news of Alastor's new home with a scoff. "Oh, pah to that! I was never much for religion before I bit the dust, God always struck me as a terrible sort of man. If you wound up in Hell, it's probably for the better! I'd hate being in close quarters with the kind of parent who thinks tossing his children into fire and brimstone was the best teaching method!"

Alastor

A studio audience laugh at “attached”; attached in more senses than one, apparently. “They must have been women with exquisite taste! Quite a pity about the timing, but at least you’ve had plenty of time to enjoy it! Amazing how well it’s held up, can’t tell you the last time I saw quality like this. Of course,” he arches his eyebrows, “that might just be a side-effect of the neighborhood I’ve been living in, eh? Lucky you latched onto this beauty—otherwise you probably would have ended up living there too, considering your personal leanings. Fair enough if you don’t want to move into that big gated community in the sky, but I wouldn’t recommend the alternative, either.”

He glances over at Valera—wow, look at that, he actually does remember that they’re in the same room. “Speaking of which...” He nods at the spot of the portal he so gracelessly stepped out of earlier. “You probably don’t want to take this with you the next time you spend the night at your fiancé’s. I’ve never heard of a ghost voluntarily walking into Hell so I’m not sure if they’d immediately notice, but I do know that imps conducting business topside are charged with keeping an eye out for rogue spirits that ought to be down below. You take him in, they might not let him back out.”

Valera

Alexander rolls back on his heels, happy to peek around Alastor and back at Valera. Ah, his unexpected rescuer who he's trying very hard not to be wildly rude to by screaming at over the existence of actual aliens! Thumbs up!

As for Valera, she looks at Alastor with raised eyebrows. "Good to know! I hadn't made any plans yet, but it would be a damn shame to get this fellow stuck in a new prison so soon after getting him out of the previous one." A sip at her cup, and she curls her tail politely around her legs. "Either way, I brought you here to help with repairs! Bring your friend over here and lets start getting the cobwebs out of his home, hm?"

Alastor

“Why, of course! Pardon me—“ And up it goes. As he carries the radio over to Valera he’s cradling it half like it’s a heavy sack of groceries and half like it’s a baby. “I didn’t have an opportunity to look around the back, what all needs doing?”

Valera

Valera opens her mouth, and is immediately cut off as Alexander practically flings himself forward to 'sit' on the floor next to the cleaning supplies. "There's almost no damage to the internals, lucky for us! My lovely little number's managed to hold up beautifully despite the.. Unideal conditions. This sweet faced dame here scraped off most of the wax from my previous landlord's attempt at what I assume was an exorcism, but a gentle wash wouldn't hurt! Aside from that, it's largely dusting and polishing! Mindless, really."

He chuckles, the dial on the radio tapping back and forth like a metronome. "Though the lady here took one look at the bottom of the chassis and said she'd rather call an expert, poor thing. From what I saw, it's just a bit of rust and dirty wires, nothing even a child couldn't handle! I'm sure a man like yourself wont even break a sweat!"

Alastor

“So I see.” He leans forward, arching an eyebrow as he inspects the remaining wax. “What kind of ‘unideal conditions’ are we talking about, here? And how *did* this end up here?” He directs that question to Valera. “Of all the places I’d expect to find a ‘31 Philco, you have to go pretty far down on the list before I start listing locations off of planet Earth. And even at that ‘the moon’ and ‘Mars’ would have been my next guesses.” SPEAKING OF WHICH, he leans toward Alexander and gives him an excited look. “Did you know we put ROBOTS on MARS?”

Okay, exciting news shared, back to business. He carefully inspects the bottom of the chassis himself—nothing too bad down there. “I’m as good an expert as you’ll need! I’ve lovingly cleaned off enough fine old radios in my time—although I’m hard-pressed to think of one as fine as THIS!” He looks over the selection of cleaning tools.

Valera

Valera's attempts to speak are once again completely drowned out by Alexander's crackly voice. "Oh she got me on Earth, rest assured! I was in one of my.. grand nephew's attics, I believe? And yes, I DID hear about the robots on Mars! I had nothing to do but listen to the radio while I was up there, and as much as they like to pretend they've murdered the art of broadcasting, there certainly are still plenty of stations out there sharing the news! Nothing compared to your own, of course, but still." A dip of his head towards Alastor, and he scoots closer to watch him work.

The standard tools are available. Wood cleaner, a few soft rags, a small steel wool brush, and rust removing solvents, along with a little pack of cloths for polishing brass. Val side eyes Alexander and deliberately doesn't speak as she picks up a rag to offer to Alastor.

Alastor

He's starting to detect a pattern here. "Say, my phantasmal friend!" He leans over and slings an arm around Alexander's shoulders. "I realize you haven't had much experience with conversation in a while—but let's let our friend Valera get a couple of words in edgewise from time to time, shall we?" He winks, then returns to studying the radio, this time inspecting the innards. He takes the rag and starts brushing out the worst of the dust, just a rough pass to get out the easy stuff. "Ah, of course you would have heard! Naturally. What kind of a state is radio broadcasting in these days, anyway? I've heard some dismal things."

Valera

There's a flash of confusion on Alexander's face as he looks between Alastor and Valera, but he nods without any protest, obligingly leaning in until Alastor releases him from the casual half embrace. "Of course! Terribly rude of me, I'll curb the enthusiasm. My manners could use as much dusting as my radio, it seems!" A light chuckle, and he props his chin on his hands, watching Alastor's movements intently.

"Miserable! It's atrocious the kind of programming they think passes standard these days. Once they broke the stations into specialties, the bar dropped straight past hell! Why, if you have a grave, Alastor, I'm sure you were rolling in it. Half the contents is advertisements, and the other half replays the same songs every few hours with no shame!" He heaves a dramatic sigh, shaking his head. Valera rolls her eyes.

Alastor

“Oh, Hell hasn’t fared much better, I’m afraid—although I’ve helped keep things interesting on the AM band, at least!” A weary sigh. “And to think in the twenties we were butting heads against the regulations that discouraged specialization. Who would have thought the alternative would make so many stations so bland?” His tone darkens. “Although I blame the networks more than anything else, truth be told.”

He’s got a bone to pick with networks.

Valera

Valera finally has a chance to speak? Good. "Well, I'm glad you two have so much to talk about! I'd say you should exchange numbers or find a way to talk in DMs, but I haven't had a chance to try and explain texting or tumblr blogs to Alexander yet." And she is NOT looking forward to it!

"Though, Alastor, if you'll indulge my hypotheticals while we tidy this fellow up. What do you think would be the best way to deal with his current state? I've thought about asking Pentious to make him some kind of automaton frame around his radio, or find a way to separate him from the radio entirely and... Force him to manifest some form of body."

Alexander shrugs, flipping a dismissive hand. "I've got no knowledge of the supernatural, and barely any on the normal natural either, so this is all Greek to me!"

Alastor

“I wonder if it would be possible to get a radio signal through to Hell! I’ve never picked up a radio broadcast from the living world before, but as far as I know none have been sent out by the dead. At any rate, if Internet can get between here and Hell, radio should be able to just as easily—it’s all the exact same stuff, just traveling through the air on different frequencies.”

Alastor considers the issue of Alexander’s body for a moment, glancing over at him. There’s a brief quiet humming noise like microphone feedback from the radio’s speakers as Alastor stretches out with his own energy field, prodding around Alexander’s, measuring it.

Then he snaps it back in and continues working. “Automatons are all well and good, but if you want to know how I’D do it—the easiest thing would be to get him trained up as a poltergeist! There’s three parts he’d have to learn: drawing more energy from his environment than he’s currently getting through passive processes; focusing it so he can telekinetically affect his environment; and finally, focusing it to visually and physically manifest a form for other people to see and touch. It’s essentially what I’m doing any time I step out of Hell, although I’m cheating: coming straight from Hell means I’m carrying enough Hellish energy with me that I don’t need to gather or focus any more, I’m fully solid from the outset. But it’s a skill that can be learned!”

He beams at Alexander. “You’re lucky you’ve got a focus for your energy, here! I’d hazard a guess that all this time you’ve been using what ambient energy you’ve picked up to help power it—but I bet it wouldn’t be too hard for you to use IT to help power YOU!”

This is all too exciting. The study of the interactions between spirits and electricity had only been going a few decades when Alastor died, and the topic is obviously irrelevant in Hell; what he’s proposing was supposedly possible even in his own time, but he can’t imagine what information might be available today.

Valera

Alexander twitches as Alastor's field brushes against his. It's an almost ticklish sensation, like almost but not quite touching something charged with static electricity. The moment passes, and he rubs at his arms. Could ghosts get goosebumps? It sure seemed so! Weird! Everyone he's met has been so strange and colorful, he'd hardly even thought about his own appearance. Immediately distracted, he starts looking for a mirror to check his hair in.

"Hm, I don't have any experience with poltergeists.." Valera's at a bit of a loss, narrowing her eyes as she squints at the two radios. Three radios? Does Alexander count as a separate entity from the radio? Gods, she should have taken the Mortals and Their Souls elective in school. She heaves a sigh. "Well! I hope you're willing to help teach him, Alastor, because otherwise I'm going to have to start doing _research_."

Alastor

“You and me both! Ha! Most of what I learned about poltergeists in life was how to get rid of them, imagine that. But! You know where ghosts end up once they’re got rid of! I’ll inquire around, see if there are any ex-poltergeists interested in sharing their tricks of the trade. If not, I’m sure the imps will know all about it.”

He beams at Alexander. “Oh, this is going to be fun. I haven’t had a reason to dip this deep into the occult since the sixties!”

Valera

"Oh that's marvelous. Thank the gods, the less I have to try and muddle through human focused occultism the better, it gets damnably frustrating trying to find books that aren't full of teenage angst and garbage." She sighs, taking her tea in hand and busying herself with draining the glass. That's ONE problem out of the way.

Alexander glances over, feeling eyes on him again, and offers Alastor his sunniest grin. He wasn't really following the conversation, but that doesn't matter when there's an obvious opening. "Don't leave us hanging, my good man! What happened in the sixties? Inquiring minds, and spirits, want to know!"

Alastor

“The first step is to get book recommendations from actual occultists.” Where is Valera picking up teenage angst?

Oh, Alastor is going to love this new guy, he follows up on the topics that Alastor leaves dangling. “A deep dive into angelology! Researching what sort of defenses Heaven has aside from being ridiculously high in the air—this was before rockets, you see, so we couldn’t just fly up and check—and trying to deduce any of the angels’ vulnerabilities.”

Valera

"Fair enough, I assume you knew a fair few back in your day?" Meet enough overly young heroes and some of them are going to write about their experiences while unfortunately being teens. Combination diary and field guides are the _worst._

Alexander BEAMS as Alastor speaks, the light on his radio dial glowing like a little beacon. "Fascinating stuff there, Alastor! I never even knew that was a field of research, shows what I know! Did you learn anything useful in your forays?" A pause. Wait. " You have rockets in Hell?"

Alastor

“A decent amount! I had a healthy circle of pen pals. None of them quite as successful as me, if I do say so myself—but that had less to do with their occult knowledge and more to do with their heads for business. All the symbols, herbs, and precious metals in the world won’t do you a lick of good if you don’t know how to make a deal with a demon.”

He’s gotten the inside about as clean as he feels safe to while the radio is still clearly *on*—there’s probably no way to fully turn it off as long as Alexander is connected to it, is there?—and starts on the outside. “In the living world, it probably isn’t one! Angelology in general, sure, but penetrating the gates of Heaven? Maybe in an ‘astral projection’ way, but certainly not a ‘breaking and entering’ way! I can’t say I picked up much of practical use, but...” He falters a moment before rallying. “The project I was researching it for fell through, so I abandoned it early with several research avenues unexplored.” Shrug.

For a moment he’s tempted to let Alexander think they DO have rockets. But then he bursts out laughing. “No, no, hah! I only meant that humanity in general has rockets, don’t we—and enough people with the know-how to make ‘em are in Hell by now. We *could* have rockets if we decided to. But we don’t have our act together enough for that—put together a list of everyone who could make it happen, and even the person at the very top of the list has priorities pointed very firmly elsewhere. Anyway, where would we go with them?”

Valera

"You can say that again. Though of course, my experience is decidedly _not_ from the mortal's side." A hum, and Valera leans in to take a peek at Alastor's work. "I knew you were the person for the job, that little darling is looking almost as good as new." A grin for his efforts, that's more than payment enough. That and getting to work on such a nice radio. Probably.

Alexander snickers, pressing a hand to his chest in mock dismay. "My goodness, you really had me going for a moment there, Alastor! I suppose there wouldn't really be anywhere to go, you're right! Though that does beg the question. How *does* Hell compare to all the biblical stories? I can't imagine it being all fire and brimstone if you're as well dressed and decidedly not prodded by pitchforks as you appear to be!"

Lowering her empty cup to the table, Valera flicks her eyes over to watch as Alexander quickly turns to try and pick up the teapot to offer a refill. Bless his dead little heart, he gave it a good shot even if all he managed was a slight rattling.

Alastor

Getting to work on such a nice radio is *absolutely* its own reward. “A professional could do something about the scuffs. And you definitely want somebody else to do something else about the last of the wax.” He rubs a thumb over the last little bumps stubbornly stuck on the wood. “I don’t think I can get the remains off without scuffing the wood.”

He tries to think back to what he was taught Hell was like before he saw the real thing. What had his first impressions been like? “Picture Dante’s Inferno. So you’ve got your rivers bile, your fields of icy mud, your endless hurricanes—but then dump a bunch of humans in it and assume they’re going to do what humans always do. We build cities and civilizations in scorching deserts, frozen tundras, and smothering jungles—and we do just the same in Hell. Sure enough, fire and brimstone is Hell’s natural, untrammeled state—but we’ve been trammeling all over the place for thousands of years by now! The native demons and fallen angels in charge are largely content to ease up on the pitchforks as long as our labors improve their standard of living, too.”

Alastor watches Alexander attempting to manipulate the teapot, then puts his hand on top of the radio and focuses on channeling as much of his own energy into the cathedral case as he can. “Try again now.”

Valera

Alastor

Valera

"Fixing the wood? Not a problem. I just didn't trust anyone else with the internals!" She shrugs, seemingly content to lay back and idly listen as he explains the inevitable human nature of settling even the inhospitable lands of Hell. But the moment Alastor's powers are channeled, Valera stiffens, head swiveling to stare at where his hand at the radio meet as her fins flare out.

Alexander looks between Valera and Alastor, then down to his radio. You know what that reaction sounds like? None of his business! He nods, then carefully, carefully, picks up the teapot and pours a single cup of tea out with a look of utmost concentration. Once the teapot is safely back on the table and the cup is delivered into Valera's hands, and ONLY then, he shuffles back a few feet, looks around to make sure there's nothing breakable near him, and finally throws his arms in the air with a cheer. "Alastor! Whatever you did got me back on the trolley!"

Alastor

The motion catches Alastor's attention and he meets her gaze. Oh, hello? What's all *that* about?

But he doesn't get a chance to ask before Alexander is celebrating his triumph. Alastor switches his attention back to him, beaming. "Back on for the time being—although I'm afraid this trolley company makes you pay by the block and I essentially gave you one nickel. Still, it's proof of concept! You're powering your radio—and your radio can power you. This expands our options immensely!"

Valera

Scoffing while grinning ear to ear isn't something you see often, but Alexander is quick to wave off even minor pessimism with the cheeriest dismissal. "Bah, who cares about that! That's more interaction with my environment than I've managed since I died, I'll take this nickel as far as they'll let me." He pushes the teapot to the left, then the right, and then picks it up once more for good measure before moving to start carefully prodding at Valera, who tolerates it with the face of the family dog tolerating bratty kids yanking their fur.

Alastor

“I suppose five blocks is exciting if it’s the first time you’ve been allowed on the trolley,” he says dryly; then, while Alexander is distracted, he gives Valera an inquiring look. He’s not going to ask Valera about their reaction to his magic while Alexander is around, but he wants them to know he *noticed* and he’s *going* to as soon as he has a chance.

Valera

Valera looks at Alastor, giving him the most innocent stare they can manage with those big ole eyes... And then snorts, shakes their head, and gives a thumbs up. Yeah, yeah. Quiz them later, radio deerman.

Looking back to Alexander and his prodding hands, Valera finally hauls herself up to cheerfully clap her hands together. "Well! This has been lovely, but I think that's enough excitement for the day. We've both got new projects to get to, and the sooner we sort this fellow out the better!"

Alastor

“I think you’re right! Happy I could offer my assistance.” He offers a hand to Alexander. “And a pleasure to meet you, my good sir!”

Valera

Alexander pauses in his prodding to take Alastor's hand in both of his, giving it a firm shake. "I hope I'll see you again, Alastor! Even if we can't figure out how to help me, meeting a fellow radio enthusiast of your caliber is more than worth being stuck in an attic for so long!"

Alastor

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll find a way!” And a firm shake back. “And even if not, I’ll be visiting from time to time anyway, never you fear.”

Valera

Val would ask if that was a threat or a promise, but she isn't really sure she wants to know. A portal is prepared in short order, one wall of the sitting room turning a familiar inky black as she rises from the couch. She does, however, make a point to look Alastor dead in the eyes as she speaks her goodbye. "I'll see you in Hell, Alastor."

Alastor

It’s only a threat if Valera finds his presence threatening.

“Imminently, or eventually?” He *does* still want to find out what that Look was about.

Valera

She grins, ignoring Alexander as he quietly oohs and aahs over the portal. "Eventually! I'll be there tonight or tomorrow, depending on wherever Penny decides to sleep, but who knows when you'll actually _see_ me there."

Alastor

“Well, track me down to talk when you can.” An unnecessarily dramatic half-bow and he steps through the portal.

Carefully. He doesn’t know what angle he’s going to emerge at.

#chat log #autokrates

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stella-monstrum · 4 years ago

Text

Rob Zombie; "Why it's time to step outside the confinements of his own box."

For close to four decades,

Rob Zombie has brought nonstop psychedelic grooves and a rockstar presence while gracing his own music and the silver screen with gut-churning, drug-tripping visuals. He not only commands quite the presence in films (whether his own successes or others’), but also makes appearances within many other horror soundtracks. There’s no denying that Zombie is a bloodied savant who has stayed incredibly consistent.

[ᴿᵒᵇ ᶻᵒᵐᵇᶦᵉ. ⁽ˢᵒᵘʳᶜᵉ: ᴳᵒᵒᵍˡᵉ ᴵᵐᵃᵍᵉˢ⁾]

(Written by Stella, edited by Jacob J.)

(Side note; tumblr’s photo formatting is a pain)

Let’s take a dive into his music before getting into his film library. From 1985-1997, White Zombie released six albums (between studio and compilations). La Sexorcisto: Devil Music Volume One didn’t break into the Billboard 200 chart until a year after its 1992 release. Shortly thereafter, it became the hot and groovy bong success of the band, going on to sell two million copies. Astro Creep 2000, their final and fourth studio release, was their first and only album to chart within the Top 10 of the Billboard 200 in 1995. Up to this day in 2020, “White Zombie” has been featured in 47 TV, film, and video game soundtracks, from Beavis & Butthead to Pen15 to Bride Of Chucky (which includes a personal favorite moment of mine), amongst many others.

After the disbandment and separation, Zombie continued on his solo journey. He has gone on to release six studio albums, with a seventh on the way in March 2021, titled The Lunar Injection Kool Aid Eclipse Conspiracy. A multitude of hits—eight to be exact—sat within the Top 10 of the Billboard 200 records.

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Zombie’s extensive film career is a “Super Beast” on its own.

He has been very vocal about gaining inspiration from 1920s-1980s horror culture. In many interviews, he’s cited Stan Lee, Bella Lugosi, Alice Cooper, and Steven Speilberg as being responsible for molding the brain that we know today.

Some of his influences include:

George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead (1978)

A Clockwork Orange (1971)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

The Shining (1980)

Zombie’s upbringing in the carnival industry alongside his family is another key influence.

[[I’ll only be focusing on Zombie’s live-action films here.]]

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In 2000, Rob made his directorial and (very memorable) screen debut with House Of 1000 Corpses.

It took three years to be released because of quarrels with major production companies regarding the film’s majorly aggressive themes of torture, blood, violence, sex—not to mention his arrogance with MGM, fighting to get rights back from Universal. Eventually, Lionsgate bit the bullet, albeit with the major stipulation of having Rob edit it down much further so House could pass with a “tame” R rating.

[[House of 1000 Corpses: Rainn Wilson as taxidermy merman (Source: Tumblr—and if you’re brave, you can view the scene here.)]]

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In 2005 and 2019, the franchise’s next two installments—Devil’s Rejects and 3 From Hell—were released. The franchise is heavily influenced by the shocking, sickening, and unforgettable ’70s classic Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It follows a family of psychotic, sadistic, and bloodthirsty (if I’m being honest) necrophiliacs. They kidnap, kill, torture and brutalize anyone who gets in their way. At the end of Devil’s Rejects, they somehow manage to survive a police shootout, escape prison, and waltz on into Mexico (as seen in the franchise finale 3 from Hell).

Look, it’s all complicated.

Main Characters from the franchise:

Captain Spaulding—Sid Haig

Baby Firefly—Sheri Moon Zombie

Otis B. Driftwood—Bill Moseley

Momma Firefly—Karen Black (recast as Leslie Easterbrook after Karen’s passing)

(Other notable appearances throughout: Chris Hardwick, Rainn Wilson, Danny Trejo, Dee Wallace, Ken Foree, and Diamond Dallas Page.)

⁽“ʰᵒᵘˢᵉˢ ᵗʳⁱˡᵒᵍʸ”, ᵈᵛᵈ ˢᵉᵗ﹔ ˢᵒᵘʳᶜᵉ﹔ ᵗᵃʳᵍᵉᵗ.ᶜᵒᵐ⁾

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The notorious/controversial Halloween (John Carpenter, 1978) remakes from 2007 and 2009.

(ᵃ ᵛⁱᵉʷ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵒˣ ᵃʳᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ʰᵃˡˡᵒʷᵉᵉⁿ ʳᵉᵐᵃᵏᵉˢ ⁽ˢᵒᵘʳᶜᵉ﹕ ᵃᵐᵃᶻᵒⁿ⁾)

Look, this is a remake that you either adore or hate with a burning passion. If you’re a horror fanatic, you know what’s up with the original.

I personally adore Zombie’s take. The fact alone that he gave us an entire background story as to why Michael became the psychotic slasher that we’ve come to know and love. Plus, with an increased suspense and gore factor? Worked incredibly well and did justice (in my opinion).

The film made me feel bad for Michael, with moments of child Myers in therapy, particularly his love for making masks to pass the time while he was locked up and the touching family moments between him and his mother Deborah (Sheri Moon).

ᵈᵉᵇᵒʳᵃʰ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐⁱᶜʰᵃᵉˡ ᵐᵉʸᵉʳˢ ⁱⁿ ʲᵃⁱˡ ᵗʰᵉʳᵃᵖʸ. ⁽ˢᶜʳᵉᵉⁿᶜᵃᵖ, ʰᵃˡˡᵒʷᵉᵉⁿ. ˢᵒᵘʳᶜᵉ﹕ ᵍᵒᵒᵍˡᵉ⁾

[Michael’s cell in the 2007 Halloween remake. (Source: Google)]

Add in the supporting cast of Michael McDowell (Loomis), Brad Douriff (Sheriff Leigh), Scout Taylor-Compton (Laurie Strode), etc., and I honestly think that it came together very well as a remake.

The films rated relatively low, but they did gross higher than the budgets that they originally had to film on. Again, I’m not going to give much attention to the higher-ups of critical perception—it all comes down to personal taste.

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“Lords of Salem” (2013)

[[Promotional art for Lords of Salem. (Souce: Google Images)]]

A film that’s centered within Salem, Massachusetts,

this film—you guessed it—tackles witches, occultism, possession, Satan, and all the usual topics. Heidi (Sherri Moon) is a radio DJ who gets sent a mysterious record that’s labeled as being from “The Lords.” From then on out, shit gets a little dicey and admittedly, very disjointed. You can’t fault the cast here, and I loved the visuals that they were going for. However, with set schedule conflicts and multiple rewrites, which led to essentially running out of time to film? As a whole, what looked great on paper just couldn’t be done justice.

My FAVORITE sequence within the film (SPOILERS):

youtube

I can forgive the disjointedness solely because of how mind-boggling and brilliant the film’s history and proper visuals were. Also, we got to see Dee Wallace, Judy Geeson, and Patricia Quinn as creepy and badass witches who moonlight as Heidi’s landlords. Also Meg Foster who leads their coven? Can we talk about what a femme-fueled power cast that is?!

[[Left to right: Patricia Quinn as Megan, Dee Wallace as Sonny, and Judy Geeson as Lacy Doyle. (Screencap, Lords of Salem. Source: Google) ]]

[[Meg Foster as coven leader Margaret Morgan. (Screencap, Lords of Salem. Source; google)]]

Like I said prior, the film gets a little wild. If you’re...well, buzzed prior to watching, it may make a little more sense.

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“31” (2016)

[[Film poster for 31 (Source: Google)]]

[Synopsis from IMDB; “Five carnival workers are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, hellish compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game, the goal of which is to survive twelve hours against a gang of sadistic clowns.”]

Here, we clearly see that Zombie is invoking his childhood growing up within carnivals. In a 2013 interview with LA Weekly, Zombie divulged more about it:

“When we were kids, my parents would [work at the carnivals], and me and my brother would get dragged along to these things all the time and have to work.”

He went further on to say;

“Yeah, and it's not the nicest world. As a kid, you get exposed to the crazier underworld of the carnival. Me and my brother, when we were very little, we'd be inside the haunted house playing all day. So, already, what people are paying money to be scared [of], we're just playing in because it's fun. We saw the inner workings behind the machines.”

youtube

(”31″ trailer, source; Youtube)

Once again in this film, Zombie brings a powerhouse cast:

Jeff Daniel Phillips as Roscoe Pepper

Meg Foster as Venus Virgo

Malcom McDowell as Father Murder

Judy Geeson as Sister Dragon

Richard Brake as Doom Head

You can view the entire cast at IMDB here.

Set in 1976, Zombie stays true to his nods. Again, depending on taste, this is a huge hit or a wild miss with mindless homicidal violence, campiness, and climbs across the monkey bar of standards that we’re used to seeing from him.

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So at this point, you’re probably wondering why I think that it’s time for Rob Zombie to step out of the confinements of his own box...

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It’s no secret that Zombie sticks to only a small group of tropes:

Slashers, families or groups of homicidals that lack remorse, the occult, etc. There’s no shame in sticking to what you know. Hell, Zombie has seemingly cracked the code over the past two decades that he’s been in the film industry that so many directors still don’t seem to get.

IMO, despite whatever you personally feel about the films mentioned above- I feel like we’re living a freaky groundhog day repeat within Zombie’s filmography.

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Now, if it ain’t broke, why fix it? Look, I’m not saying that Zombie has to change anything. However, I would love to see him tackle some other nuances that we’ve already seen from him in small doses.

- Children: We haven’t seen Zombie exactly take on what horror films depict kids as. Sure, he made a breakout and impeccable choice with young Michael Myers (Daeg Faerch) back in 2007. I personally would adore to see a reimagined (NOT remade) Children of the Corn on acid, one we all know Zombie can tackle and turn every existing view on its head.

- Witchcraft, The Occult, Satan, Voodoo: Zombie genuinely had a phenomenal concept (on paper) for 2012’s Lords of Salem. It was unfortunate that they ran out of resources and ran into unfortunate circumstances on set while filming.

The film wasn’t a total tank, though, given how inspiring and insane all the visuals were throughout the 1 hr, 41min film. I am absolutely positive that, given a full-force opportunity, Rob could rectify the mess that was out of his control. We completely saw that he provided visuals that left quite the impression, and he could take those taboo subjects by the goat horns.

- Animals (not the human form): It’s no secret that Rob and his wife Sherri are ethical vegetarians. It would be so tongue and cheek to see them take on such topics as animals getting their revenge, or even vegetarians torturing carnivores. This twist on the formula would make for an interesting viewing.

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2.) In regard to time periods,

Zombie stays within—and pays homage to—the 1970s and 1980s quite a bit. Obviously, those are the eras that Zombie personally loves the most when it comes to filmmaking. However, it would be very interesting to see him take on current day settings.

Zombie has such a unique viewpoint. Given changing climates in politics, human decline/growth, the economy, etc., he would do work that could easily put Ryan Murphy to shame.

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3.) He could also do with some different casting every now and then.

Let me preface this by saying that I adore every repeat casting choice that Zombie has made for his films.

Of course chemistry is a huge thing, and sticking to his friends is a very smart choice. However, he also has the potential to make new stars, boosting the power of those that may be under the radar. He can support those new stars with cameos from classic actors that we haven’t seen in awhile. I can’t begin to even fictionally cast those who fit the bill, but I do believe that with the “Zombie Touch,” he can bring so much more fresh air to the usual casting.

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There’s no doubting what Rob Zombie is clearly very good at. Despite mixed reviews from the horror world and critics, it’s time that his fans open their eyes to new possibilities. Of course, there are die-hards, but digging your feet in further doesn’t allow the growth of horror and its ever evolving themes.

[[ʳᵒᵇ ᶻᵒᵐᵇⁱᵉ, ˢᵒᵘʳᶜᵉ﹔ ᵍᵒᵒᵍˡᵉ ⁱᵐᵃᵍᵉˢ]]

This theory has been on my mind for a very long time—since 3 from Hell came out. I’m sure, in his usual fashion, we won’t be seeing any new films from Rob anytime soon (what with his new album set to release in March 2021, not to mention the toll that the pandemic has had on Hollywood.)

Still, it never hurts to challenge the set standards and ways.

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miragerules · 5 years ago

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With theaters unfortunately shut down, and me sadly being laid off because Oregon has a shelter in place order it's given me a lot of time to play video games as well as think about the best films of each decade, and the who I believe are the current directors of all time. I am going to start with who are believe are the current 15 best directors of all time.

15. Bong Joon Ho: I have not seen all of Bong Joon Ho films only seen Snowpiercer, The Host, Memories of Murder, and Parasite with Snowpiercer being his best film.

14. David Lynch: David Lynch is probably the most visionary and unique director on this list. It has not paid off for Lynch all the time, but all his films and series are certainly memorable. I have seen Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, Dune, Twin Peaks, Dune, Lost Highway, and Mulholland Drive with Lost Highway and Mulholland Drive being is best films. Even though Lynch has not directed a full-length feature film since I think 2006's Inland Empire Lynch is still one of the best directors of all time.

13. Clint Eastwood: Although this biographical themed obsession Eastwood had been on this past decade with good, but flawed films in Richard Jewell, The 1517 to Paris, American Sniper, and J. Edgar among others it does not take away from Clint Eastwood's nearly fifty years of directing with some of his classics being Unforgiven, Mystic River, The Outlaw Josey Wales, A Perfect World, and Letters from Iwo Jima to name a few.

12. David Fincher: I could say David Fincher is the best suspense thriller director, but that would be disrespecting the one and only Alfred Hitchcock, so I will that Fincher is the Hitchcock of our time with his most known film being Fight Club, but not his best film. That would go to Gone Girl, The Game, and Se7en. Then here is the elephant in the room by the name of Alien 3. Alien 3 had its problems in production and especially with studio interference by FOX in not having faith in the young up and coming director, which hurt the film, but by no means does that make Alien 3 a bad film. Alien 3 had good acting by Charles S. Dutton, Charles Dance, Sigourney Weaver, and the rest of the pretty unknown cast. The score by Elliot Goldenthal is riveting, and one of the best scores in the Alien franchise if not the best. William Gibson original screenplay would have been the best route to go with the film, and there were a lot of hands on the script for Alien 3 with ultimately the writing brainstormed, poorly put together, and written by producers Walter Hill and David Giler. The screenplay was definitely flawed, but not bad with a decent story and good ending to Ripley’s journey that was ruined by the truly terrible Alien Resurrection. Overall, I say Alien 3 is the third best Alien film not as good as Alien or Aliens, but not as bad as the rest of the Alien films or the Alien vs Predator films.

11. Zhang Yimou: Sadly, I have not had a chance to see some of Zhang's older films like Not One Less, Raise the Red Lantern, and especially To Live, which some have said is one of Zhang's best films. I have seen all Zhang's films since the new millennium with films that include Hero, Shadow, Under the Hawthorn Tree, House of the Flying Daggers, Coming Home, Curse of the Golden Flower, Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles, Happy Times, The Flowers of War, A Woman, a Gun and a Noodle Shop, and The Great Wall. Zhang is a master of using aesthetics whether it be the story, lighting, or choreography of his action sequences. The Great War is easily Zhang's worst film, and it is not a terrible film, and not for the reasons you might be thinking. I know when The Great Wall was coming out and came out a certain group of so called up set people were outrage that a fantasy film had a some white characters in the film and Zhang and the writers were using the white savior trope in the film, but if you actually watch the film that was not what happen or why The Great Wall was a mediocre film. It was because of the at best average CGI, poor writing, and uninspired action sequences. As for Zhang's best films they are Hero, Curse of the Golden Flower, Happy Times, and The House of the Flying Daggers. Yes, Zhang Yimou is best known for his historical films with simply masterfully choreographed action sequences I definitely recommend you give some of his smaller films like Happy Times and Coming Home a chance.

10. Ridley Scott: Although some of Scott's latest films like Robin Hood, Prometheus, All the Money in the World, and Exodus: Gods and Kings have not lived up to the directors reputation Ridley Scott will still go down as one of the best directors of all time by directing some of the best films of all time. I would also recommend Kingdom of Heaven. It is one of Scott's best film that was underrated by critics and the general population.

9. Michael Mann: Like Scott above Michael Mann's most recent films in Blackhat, Public Enemies, and Miami Vice have not lived up to the reputation Mann has earned as a director or his vision and style as a writer and director. Mann as not directed a lot of films and it is debatable what his best film is between The Insider, Heat, Thief, and The Last of the Mohicans. For me it is Heat.

8. Denis Villeneuve: Denis Villeneuve has only been directing since 1998, but has already made it into the top 10 of this list, and it is for a reason. Villeneuve is helped to craft some of the most riveting and compelling stories in films this past decade that was also greatly impacted by Villeneuve’s masterful use of cinematography creating an atmosphere in his films with Arrival, Blade Runner 2049, and Sicaro being masterpieces and three of the best films this past decade. I am really looking forward to his vision of Dune.

7. Hayao Miyazaki: Miyazaki is by far the most mainstream and acclaimed director of anime films from Japan, and for good reason. Hayao Miyazaki is a masterful writer and director who stands by his belief of caring for the environment, being anti-war, and love. Speaking out on his beliefs regulating not caring if it offends some of his fans or his own government. His beliefs play a heavy influence in his films, which I think make is unique visions all the better for that. In my view Miyazaki’s best film is Princess Mononoke. 1999 was a terrible year for me on many levels and Princess Mononoke just blew my mind and help to lift my spirits and my will to go on. No other Hayao Miyazaki film has come close to affecting me that way.

6. Terrance Malick: Terrance Malick has been directing films for directing films for 47 years, but has only directed ten films in that time with 1973’s Badlands. I think the reason is while other directors like Uwe Boll, Michael Bay, and Paul W.S. Anderson will just make films no matter the quality of the film Terrance Malick is determined that his artistry be perfect, and it shows in his film. Malick’s determination to perfection shows in his true mastery of cinematography and his use of nature and the environment to enhance the story and isolate they characters. His perfectionism shows in all his films, and while Malick’s films may not always land on perfection, but his films always leave a mark on the viewer. I consider Terrance Malick’s best film to be 1998’s The Thin Red Line, and a far better film than Saving Private Ryan that came out earlier that year.

5. Christopher Nolan: We have finally reached the top 5 of what I consider to be the current best directors of all time with number five being Christopher Nolan. Nolan is number five on this list, and is the best director alive today. There are better directors on this list, but they all have passed away. Christopher Nolan is known for his love of the theatrical experience, and the technical side of filmmaking. Christopher Nolan along with his brother Jonathan Nolan and other writers to craft unique and captivation stories and their use of memories, time, space, dreams, perspective, and war in each of film of films. Nolan has also directed has put his stamp on Batman and the comic book film genre by directing the Dark Knight Trilogy that is the best superhero/comic book trilogy. As for what is Christopher Nolan’s best film, it is too hard for me to choose between Prestige, The Dark Knight, and Dunkirk.

4. Alfred Hitchcock: Alfred Hitchcock is and as far I am concerned will go down as the best suspense thriller director of all time. Hell, the term Hitchcockian was named after the type of films he wrote and directed. It wasn’t just the huge impact Hitchcock had on the suspense, thriller, and horror genre’s, it was Hitchcocks technical and writing imfluence that has had a lasting impact on in film and popular culture. Alfred Hitchcock’s basically created a new filmmaking style using camera’s for perspective many times putting making the viewer the voyeur in his films to brilliantly adding to the suspense to his films. Hitchcock along his early writers created for better or worse the plot device called the MacGuffin that has a tremendous influence today in filmmaking that is used too much in not correctly. In my view Alfred Hitchcocks best films are North by Northwest, Rear Window, and Strangers on a Train.

3. Sergio Leone: The legendary director Akira Kurosawa who had a huge influence on Sergio Leone’s filmmaking, and in doing so Sergio Leone created his own impact on filmmaking creating the “spaghetti western” with his script writing long sprawling epics, and the use of long sweeping shots and extreme close ups. While Leone did not direct a lot of films, he did direct perhaps the two best unofficial trilogies of all time in No Name trilogy and the Once Upon A Time trilogy. All six films could easily fit into the top 50 films of all time and two of them in the top 20 films of all time. While both Clint Eastwood and composer Ennio Morricone were in the business of filmmaking Sergio Leone should get credit for lunching both to super stardom of the film industry in the 1960’s.

2. Stanley Kubrick: Whether it be Crime drama, Science Fiction, Epics, War, or Comedy Kubrick has had a lasting influence on virtually every genre. Like Terrance Malick, Stanley Kubrick had a different style with his filmmaking process saying his scripts were never really finished before his film started filming so he could be willing to adapt during filming, his relentless and sometimes endless scene takes sometimes making his actors shoot scenes dozens of times trying to get what he view as the perfect shot. Some film historians would call Stanley Kubrick the most influential filmmaker in history with in my view Paths of Glory, Dr. Strangelove, and 2001: A Space Odyssey.

1. Akira Kurosawa: It was a little hard to choose between Stanley Kubrick, Sergio Leone, and Kurosawa, and in my view the most influential, and all-around best director of all time is Akira Kurosawa. Kurosawa has had so much influence on cinema in story, style and technique throughout the years influencing directors like George Lucas, Sergio Leone, Quinton Tarantino, Clint Eastwood, Stanley Kubrick, and countless others. Akira Kurosawa introduced the world two different story styles/tropes in with the “Team building” trope, and the perspective or Rashomon style that can be seen in the Dirty Dozen films, Star Wars films, Ocean 11 films, Hero, Knives out, and countless other films as well as just about every part of popular culture. Akira Kurosawa as faced some criticism over his career with one that I can understand was his filmmaking during WWII. Like many filmmakers throughout the world in the late 1930’s and through the 1940’s they were pushed, paid, and sometimes forced to make propaganda films for the citizens of their countries. Akira Kurosawa was one of those directors, and I can understand the criticism of Kurosawa’s first films as a director in the early 1940’s. Another criticism that is completely unfounded and is laughable was by the French new wave movement in the 1950’s with many of the film makers saying Kurosawa was elitist and his films were not Japanese enough. Really men Frenchman from a former colonial power telling a Japanese filmmaker that his films were Japanese enough. That would be me as a white man like telling Spike Lee that his films aren’t black enough or Zhang Yimou that his films aren’t Chinese enough. Simple that is unfounded and just wrong. Even with some small legitimate criticism of Akira Kurosawa’s life and work it does not take away from his brilliance as a filmmaker crafting some of the best films made influencing countless others. As for Kurosawa’s best film that is hard, but even though I love his sprawling historical masterpieces in Yojimbo, Seven Samurai, Ran, Rashomon in my view it is one of Kurosawa’s smaller films that is the director’s best film. That would be 1952’s moving and poignant drama Ikiru.

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Honorable mentions that I briefly considered for this list: David Lean, Steven Spielberg, John Ford, Charlie Chaplin, Sergey Eisenstein, Ingmar Bergman, and Billy Wilder to name a few. I have seen very few films from the silent film era.

#The 15 Best Directors of All Time #Best Diector of All time #Movies #Film #akira kurosawa #christopher nolan #clint eastwood #dennis villeneuve #alfred hitchcock #stanley kubrick #sergio leone #Terrance Malick #michael mann #Ridley Scott #zhang yimou #david lynch

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the--blackdahlia · 5 years ago

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Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 47 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)

Title: Too Young to Fall in Love 47

Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.

Series warnings: Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.

“(Y/N), can you come into the office? I got to talk to you,” Nikki was getting the paperwork ready for (Y/n) to be the head of their own record label. Nikki smiled at what he did. He only hoped that she would be happy with the work he put in.

“Hey babe, what’s up?” (Y/n) asked, coming in. She was wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top. She had been giving the house a deep clean, because her mother and aunts were going to be coming by at some point to go over engagement party details. She thought she looked like a mess, Nikki thought she looked hot.

Nikki pulled her close and leaned her against the table, “you look hot.” he muttered against her skin. “But I have a surprise for you.” he pulled away for a moment and gave her a contract.

“What’s this?” She asked, looking up at him.

“You are the sole owner and the executive of Motley Records, although we might turn it into our own production company and label with other artists that we contract with.” Nikki shrugged with a smile.

“What? No. Nikki. I...this is yours. I can’t take that from you.” She went to hand the contract back to him.

Nikki shook his head, “it’s what you got your degree for and you are one of the best producers out there (Y/n). you are going to crush the competition and you are going to be a legend.” Nikki looked into her eyes, “You have worked hard for this babe.”

“But so have you. I wasn’t out there sweating off fifty pounds, lugging around a bass and dressing like Beetlejuice.” She smirked a little. Nikki knew how much she loved to tease them for past stage clothes choices.

“Then we can co produce, if it’ll make you happy but it’s your company and your business to run, you pick and manage the talent,” he smiled at her. She kissed him gently.

“Are you sure you want this?” She asked.

“To be the hottest producer to produce Motley Crue and be my awesome hot wife? Yeah I do.” Nikki pulled her into a hug and spun her around in the office.

“I’m not the hottest producer.” (y/n) laughed, cuddling into his hug. “I told you when we first met that I’d make you rich.” She smiled at him.

“Oh baby girl and how,” he chuckled. “And I’m not talking about money.” he kissed her and placed her on the desk. “How do you feel about office sex?”

“You know, surprisingly, this is the only place we haven’t had sex in I think.” (Y/n) laughed.

“Well, might have to change that,” he said as he lay her on the desk.

They didn’t emerge until a knock could be heard from the door. Nikki and (Y/N) laughed as they got dressed. “Were we expecting anyone tonight?” he asked her as he helped her get dressed.

“My mom and aunts said they might come by tomorrow, but mom said she’d call before they came by.” (Y/n) told him. “If it is them though, I better go get something ready to give them to eat and drink.”

“I’ll get the door,” Nikki gave her a quick kiss and sighed when he saw Mick. “You alien what are you doing here?” Nikki hugged him, “(Y/n) It’s just Mick!” he yelled out. He let Mick in and smiled. “(Y/n) is officially the crews producer and manager.”

“Really? About time!” Mick called out. (Y/n) smiled.

“Want something to drink Mick?” (Y/n) asked.

“I’ll have some water,” he smiled.

“Engagement party is coming up soon… by the way one of (Y/n)’s aunts digs you.” Nikki chuckled.

“Really now?” Mick asked with a laugh. (Y/n) came in with a water for Mick.

“At least she’s not the pincher.” (Y/n) laughed. “So, what’s up Mick?”

“Came to see how you crazy kids are doing and I noticed you got a new pupper,” he looked down at Jett. Jett rubbed up against him, loving the new guest. Ziggy stood by, watching. He knew Mick, but the older dog had grown protective of the new one.

“Yeah, that’s Jett.” (Y/n) laughed. “Who’s my sweet little girl?”

“Well you guys look super happy, so i’m going to go bother Vince and Nessa. I hear Nessa has him running all over the city for her cravings.”

“Surprised he hasn’t bailed honestly,” Nikki said. “He must really love her.”

“I guess so man,” Mick looked at him. “Oh you forgot to pick up your cheetah badge,” Mick gave him a badge that had cheetah spots.

Nikki blushed and chuckled, “Thanks Mick.” (Y/n) started to laugh.

“Okay, what’s this?” She asked. “I saw the other animal badges that you have on your messenger bag. What’s going on?”

“Just my way of promoting him from when he moved like a sloth with you,” Mick winked at her. “He’s made me proud.” He smacked Nikki’s shoulder and made his way to the door. “I’ll see you two crazy kids at the engagement party.”

“See you later Mick!” (Y/n) waved to him. She smiled as Nikki let him out.

***********

The Engagement Party

Nikki smiled as he said hello to all of (Y/n)’s relatives. There were a lot of people gathered around, mingling. Nikki had invited a few people from his side of the family, but not that many. He found Vince and Vanessa over to the side.

“Hey Nik.” Vanessa said, smiling. “Where’s your blushing bride?”

“Being fawned over by her cousins,” he smiled proudly at her, “She looks beautiful.”

“Kinda surprised you two just haven’t eloped already,” Vince laughed. “Waiting for Mick to revoke your cheetah badge.”

“Shut up,” Nikki punched his shoulder, “her parents want a big wedding and I know she wanted a beach wedding so that’s what we’re doing.”

“I don’t think she wanted a big wedding,” Vanessa said. “She always said she just wanted a small, quiet wedding. But I guess she doesn’t want to disappoint her family.”

“What?” Nikki looked at (Y/n) and tilted his head, “I’m going to go talk to her.” Nikki went to make his way over to her, but was blocked by family that wanted to talk with him. Some of her younger family wanted to talk to him about his music. He smiled politely and answered as bet he could, he was able to excuse himself and make his way to (Y/n). “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Oh, yeah.” They made their way to someplace quiet. “What’s up honey?”

“I want you to please answer me honestly,” he held her hands, “is the wedding at the beach something you want?”

“Yes, of course it is.” (Y/n) said. “I always wanted to get married at the beach.”

“I want to make you happy (Y/n), and I don’t want you to hate me for not giving you what you want,” Nikki caressed her cheek. “I’ve messed up so many times in our past that I don’t want to mess this up for you.”

“Honey, we could get married anywhere. As long as I’m marrying you, I’m happy.” she smiled softly, but he noticed she looked tired.

“Let’s get you to bed,” he kissed her. “I love you (Y/n). I want your day to be special. I want it to be about you, not your family or anyone else just me and you and if a beach wedding won't cut it we can do something else.”

“I love you too Nikki. And I want the beach wedding.” She rested against him. “We have a house full of people. I think they’ll notice if I have to go to bed. I’m okay honey.” She shivered a little.

“Hun, we’ve been at this for hours and you need your sleep,” Nikki kissed her. “Besides I think you’re aunts would be happy to hear I’m taking you to bed.” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Oh, I don’t want them to think about us like that.” (Y/n) groaned. “It’s bad enough I had to keep Erato from trying to pounce on Mick.” She rested her head on Nikki’s shoulder.

Kissing the top of her head he smiled, “I want you to be happy sweet girl. And I am here to do that ok?” She smiled and nodded.

“You deserve to be happy too Nikki.” She told him.

“I am happy,” he kissed her, “Ok let’s go get fawned over and have some food then go to bed and work off the calories!” (Y/n) just smiled and let Nikki lead her back inside the party. Thalia pinched his butt three more times by the end of the night.

“Do I need to check you for a bruise?” (Y/n) laughed.

“I think you just might,” Nikki smiled.

As the last guest left for the night, Nikki and (Y/n) found themselves on their couch and the aunts, Voula, and Athena helped clean up.

“I can help clean up.” (Y/n) yawned. “No big deal.”

“No you two rest!” Voula smiled. “Besides you cleaned up the house and we came and did this so we can pick up ok?”

“Okay, okay.” (Y/n) settled back down against Nikki. Ziggy laid by him and Jett laid in her lap.

Nikki held her close and kissed the top of her head, “This was a great party. I think I loved the dancing.”

“I’m glad you had a good time babe.” (Y/n) kissed his cheek.

**********

The next morning Nikki had headed out to the studio, leaving (Y/n) to prepare things for their new label. She worked on some things for a few hours, setting up a distributor and such. But she realized after a bit that they were very low on groceries, so she headed out to the store. She drove towards the new Target that wasn’t too far. As she walked up and down the aisles though, she felt like someone was watching her.

“Hello (Y/n),” a woman came up to her and smiled.

“Um...hi?” (Y/n) asked. “Can I help you? Do I know you?”

“I’m Deana Richards,” she smiled. “I’m Frankie’s mom.”

“I don’t know a Frankie.” (Y/n) said, knowing who she was talking about.

“I… I know he goes by a different name but he’s still my Frankie,” she gave a sad smile. “I was glad to see that he is doing better but he won’t call me or return my calls and… I really wanted to talk to him please?”

“I don’t think that’d be a good idea.” (Y/n) attempted to go around her.

“Please, you’re his nice girlfriend, the one he loves alot. I know you were with him back in 84 and I was sad that you broke up but I was so happy you got together again.” she smiled at her. “Please, I miss my Frankie.”

“Ma’am, Nikki has told me about things that happened. The step fathers that beat him while you stood by. The neglect, being shoved off onto his grandparents, going to more school than years he had been alive. So no, I’m not going to have him call you. If he wants to, he will. But I won’t make him.” She walked around her, going to grab some milk. Deana grabbed (Y/n)’s arm and her eyes widened at the glare she received.

“You know, my brother grabbed me that way,” (Y/n) hissed. “And I didn’t talk to him for months. What the hell makes you think you’re allowed to touch me?”

Deana let go quickly and walked away in a hurry. (Y/n) stood there for a moment, breathing heavy, leaning against the cart. She closed her eyes before finishing up her shopping and heading home.

****

One Week Before the Wedding

“Nikki? You home?” (Y/n) called out as she walked around the house. She sighed. He must have went to the studio for the day. She thought was going to help with the attic. With a shrug, she pulled down the ladder and headed up on her own to the boxes upstairs.

“This place is so dusty.” She said, shaking her head. “Gross.”

There nestled in a corner was a box labeled Diaries. From time to time (Y/n) would watch as Nikki wrote in his journals sometimes smiling, sometimes pensive. But when she would get near he would close it up and pull her in for a deep kiss. She wasn’t sure if she should touch it, but something was drawing her to them. Carefully she took out the top one and cracked it open to read it.

Hours later, she hadn’t cleaned a damn thing, but she had read his journals and something in her had changed. She knew it was her fault these things had happened to him. If she could’ve been better and stronger for him, maybe it wouldn’t have happened. Maybe he wouldn’t have felt the need to gorgue himself on drugs and booze. Or find women that looked like her. While a couple stories made her smile a little, like him running around naked during an earthquake, most of it made her sad and hate herself even more.

Before she even realized what she was doing, she was grabbing her keys and leaving the house, heading to the place that was like a second home to her. The Sunset Strip and the liquor store there that she used to go shopping for Tommy at when he got banned for screwing the owner’s wife.

Nikki came home and cracked his neck. He was working with a few artists and things were going well. With a smile he looked around and walked to the office.

“(Y/n)? You home?” he called out.walking all over the house he made his way upstairs and noticed the small steps to the attic. Going up he called out again, “(Y/n)? You up here?” he sighed when he realized she had asked him for help and groaned. He turned on the light and froze when he saw his box of journals. Some of the books were open on the ground and he closed his eyes, “Shit.”

He looked at the dates of the ones she might have read and ran a hand across his face. She had read the ones from his heroine days, from his darkest days in his past. Taking a deep breath he dug around looking for the ones he knew he should show her. He grabbed his journals from when he first met her and the ones from after up until their break up. Climbing down he sat on the couch waiting for her, hoping that she would walk through the door.

But the hours went by and Nikki started to pace, his worry overcoming him. What if she wasn’t coming back? What if she had walked out again, thinking he was unfixable? He grabbed an apple, letting his paranoid brain take over and block out his logical brain. He picked up his phone and called Mick.

“What?” Mick answered.

“Is (Y/n) with you? I came home and she’s gone and I think I did something to screw it up and she’s leaving me again,” Nikki rambled.

“Why would she...Nikki, what’s going on? Why isn’t (Y/n) there?” Mick asked.

“She found my journals from ‘86 man,” Nikki breathed.

“Oh.” Was all Mick said. “Want me to go out and look for her? Maybe she went to Vanessa’s?”

“No, just I’ll call Vince’s and see if she’s there with Ness. Can you keep an eye out? She might come to you.” Nikki ran a hand across his face and grabbed another apple.

“Of course. Keep me posted.” Mick said before hanging up. Nikki dialed Vince’s number.

“Hey man. What’s up?” Vince asked.

“Hey man is (Y/n) there with Ness?” Nikki breathed. By now he was holding on to the countertop and his hands were shaking.

“Uh, no. I thought she was cleaning the attic today. She crawl through a wardrobe to a new world?” Vince chuckled.

“She read my ‘86 journals,” Nikki murmured. “I think she left me and I didn’t get a chance to explain them to her.”

“Oh shit.” Vince breathed. “I know it’s a long shot, but maybe she went to Tommy for some explanation?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Nikki nodded his head and closed his eyes. “He was on Zombie dust most of the time but I’m sure that he remembers some of it,” Nikki closed his eyes. “I’ll try Tommy see if she went to him.”

“Okay, let me know.” Vince told him. Nikki and him hung up and Nikki took a deep breath. That’s when his phone rang.

“(Y/n)?” his voice cracked hoping it was her on the other end.

“Uh, no. It’s Tommy.” Tommy told him. “I just saw (Y/n). She’s on the strip. Is everything okay?”

“What? Why would she go back there?” Nikki ran his fingers across his hair. “She read my diaries from ‘86. Tommy… I think she’s thinking about leaving me man.” Nikki’s voice seemed to break at the thought.

“Nikki, she didn’t look good. She had Jack and I tried to stop her but she told me to fuck off. I lost sight of her head over to the old place.” Tommy explained.

“I’m on my way over, just try to find her if you do stick with her but don’t let her see you ok?” he looked to the journals and grabbed a few grabbing his keys with him.

“Okay. I’m heading over that way. I’ll call you if anything changes.” Tommy told him before hanging up. Nikki rushed over towards the strip, heading towards the Whiskey. Parking his car a block away he took wide steps towards the old apartment building. He saw her on the sidewalk. The bottle of Jack almost empty as she slumped forward. Taking a deep breath he grabbed his journals from when he met her and walked towards her.

“Sweet girl…” he murmured as he took a seat next to her. “Any reason why you ran over here?”

“Maybe if I came over here and… and… and talked to you in… in ‘83 and told you not…” she let out a small hiccough, “to fall in love with me, you wouldn't be so miserable.” (Y/n) whispered to him.

“Sweet girl… I was miserable when you left not when we were together,” he muttered as he placed his arm around her. “You were this light that came into my life and knocked me off my feet.” he breathed. “I just… I just kept going down a spiral because it was one I was on before I met you.”

“But all I did was let you down…” Thunder boomed in the distance, making her jump and knock over her bottle. “My drink…”

“You didn’t let me down… I let you down,” he held her face in his hands. “I let you down and I could never ever fix it. I hurt you in ways that I think have caused you all this pain you’re feeling.” he kissed her forehead. “Let’s get you home, come home please.”

“Why would you want me there? I ruin everything. We can’t even have kids because of me!” She started to cry then. Tommy pulled up then, having searched the block looking for her. Rain started to sprinkle, leaving dots on the sidewalk.

“We have two great kids named Ziggy and Jett,” Nikki smiled. “So we can’t have human kids… I’ll live.” he looked into her eyes full of sadness. “I can’t lose you again… please come home.”

“Take me home. Please?” She whispered. Tommy walked up to them slowly.

“You guys okay?” He asked. “Need anything? I can drive her car back. Pamela is here. She can get mine.”

“I got her Tom, I guess I think her car is here, we might need to get that back to the house.” Nikki sighed. “I have a call to make and somewhere to take her day after tomorrow,”

“Where?” Tommy asked. (Y/n)’s head rested against Nikki as the rain started to fall.

“My therapist, Tom…” Nikki left it at that. As he drove off towards their house.

“Nikki?” (Y/n) whispered as they drove home. “‘M sorry.”

**********

The next morning Nikki made (Y/n) his special hangover breakfast. He never had to make it for a while but he sighed when he looked at how much pain she was in. He knew he caused it, and she was thinking she caused his. Placing the food on the tray he made sure to grab the bottle of aspirin before heading up stairs. With a deep breath he walked in just as she was beginning to stir awake.

“Morning,” he mumbled.

“Morning.” She groaned, rubbing her eyes. “I’m never drinking ever again.”

“Here,” he chuckled, “best hangover breakfast and aspirin,” he smiled at her. “So…”

“So?” She looked up at him. “I’m really sorry.”

“I think we should talk about what you read,” he sighed. “Those were my darkest moments when you were gone…” he took a deep breath, “This is from when I first met you.” he handed her the journal and smiled. “I wrote a lot in my journals and… I think it gives you a bit of what I was going through before I met you, after I met you, and when we broke up.” he caressed her cheek. “You are the best thing that happened to me and nothing was your fault ok?” She carefully took the journal from him.

“You sure you want me to read this?” She asked, looking up at him. “I should’ve asked about the ones I read. I didn’t..I should’ve asked.”

“No secrets,” he smiled and kissed her forehead. “I have my own reading to do,” he said holding up her notebook. “I was really scared to read it… but I think I should.” getting up off the bed he gave her a kiss and smiled. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me ok?”

“Okay babe.” She smiled at him. “And Nikki?” She stopped him before he got to the door. “I still love you.”

“Love you too sweet girl,” he gave her a smile before closing the door and heading downstairs to the couch to read.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme

Motley Crue Tags: @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @sweet-dreams-on-butterfly-wings @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @flamencodiva @deacyduck @scarecrowmax @major-tom-is-a-junky @anyasthoughts @bandaids-not-groupies @ilovetomkeiferslips @kaitieskidmore1

Nikki Sixx Tags: @daisystuffsstuff @unknownoblivion @deakysblueoutfit @fandomshit6000 @sixx-mckagan

Too Young to Fall in Love Tags: @kingbouji3 @leximus98 @thekidbakerinthetardis @crystalbaby12 @shawnsstxtches @knockemdeadgirl @deansgirl1993 @haileynicoleseavey17

#too young to fall in love #Motley Crue #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x reader #nikki x reader #the dirt #dirt!nikki sixx #dirt!nikki sixx x reader #dirt!nikki x reader #dirt!nikki #fanfiction

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peterparkerstarker · 5 years ago

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ok ok ok so i very recently found out RDJ was trained in ballet, and we all know Tom was. so what about a starker au where peter and tony are in the same ballet company, tony is a Principal dancer and peter is a freshly promoted soloist. peter gets to work directly with tony and he's so excited and starstruck because tony is so talented and hot and tony thinks he's so fucking cute and they fall in love fdjkhfjshfs sorry for rambling i just have a lot of feelings about ballerinas

Ahhh thanks for this prompt! I know basically nothing about dance or ballet, and such a fun time researching for this. I completely fell in love with this story as I wrote it. I would absolutely love more prompts!

The song I reference is Billie Eilish and Khalid’s “Lovely”

@thotticusmaxximus @readysetstarker

Fluffy Starker Ballet AU: 1,831 words

Peter’s hands shook a little as he went through his regular warm up stretches.

Mr. Stark hadn’t arrived yet, though apparently that wasn’t uncommon for him.

The Shield Ballet Company was incredibly strict about being ready and on time, but they seemed to make an exception for Tony Stark. After all, he was their principal dancer and they were lucky to have such a talented soloist in their group, people would whisper reverently.

Peter was pretty sure Mr. Stark could get away with murdering half the company if he wanted to.

That’s just how good he was.

Peter knew this was an incredible opportunity. He’d not only made it into his dream job by the age of 20, but now he was being offered a solo in their biggest fall production.

Which meant he had to spend extra time practicing with Mr. Stark as his teacher to make sure he was ready for it.

He fell into the monotony of the stretches. Peter let his hips shift, opening them wide as he put pressure on his knees and toes with his bent wrists, noting how the burn of his muscles settled into a dull ache.

You can do this, he told himself. Just go through the warm up routine until he shows up.

He eased his loosened body up, standing and grasping onto the barre, rolling his feet and neck, shifting his hips back and forth. This was easy. The same stretches he did everyday.

The only difference was pretty soon he’d be dancing for Mr. Stark, and the thought of trying to impress him left Peter with an uneasy feeling in his gut.

He glanced at the clock mounted high on the wall across from him. 4:47 pm.

He’d been here for nearly an hour.

Maybe Tony got the time wrong?

Peter knew he was supposed to be here because Natasha had shown him in to the practice space, assuring him Mr. Stark would be arriving shortly.

It was becoming more and more clear that he wouldn’t be coming.

Oh well, Peter sighed.

Might as well make use of the private practice space since he had it for a couple more hours. He still needed to hone his routine for Prokofiev’s Cinderella, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t have a little fun first. A little extended warm-up, he told himself.

He grabbed his phone from his bag, selecting his song of choice, and cranking up the volume.

Thank God for soundproof practice rooms. I doubt Director Fury would approve, he smiled broadly as the song started up.

The dulcet tones echoed in the empty space and Peter found himself getting caught up in the music.

“Thought I found a way, thought I found a way, yeah.”

Peter took a deep breath and began moving, focusing on the gentle piano notes to guide his rhythm.

“Oh, I hope someday I’ll make it out of here, even if it takes all night or a hundred years.”

The two voices wove in and out of each other, building and building.

He knew the words by heart, had spent hours listening to it on the floor of MJ’s bedroom, eyes closed and imagining how he’d dance to it. He’d spent so long thinking about it but hadn’t worked up the courage to try it out until now.

But there was no one here to judge him, and the space was so large. Much larger than the little area of his tiny studio apartment that he’d cleared for home practice. This was the perfect time to bring his ideas to fruition. His eyes fluttered closed and he leaned into the sensation of it, felt it in his bones.

“Tear me to pieces, skin and bone, hello, welcome home.”

The words were so sad, only made more so by the soft but driving piano and gorgeous harmonies.

He squeezed his eyes closed even tighter and listened, really listened as he experimented with the steps, making adjustments, spreading his arms wider, bringing his knee in a little tighter.

The words washed over him, enveloping him like a hug goodbye.

“Isn’t it lovely, all alone?”

He danced harder, increasing his speed as the strings soared, the harmonies coursing through his veins, it felt like.

He landed a perfect jump on the last note, and stood there, panting for a moment.

Clapping.

Someone behind him was clapping.

There was someone else here.

His eyes darted open, and he turned to find Tony Stark standing there, sunglasses on and gym bag draped over his shoulder, clapping and grinning.

Holy fuck.

How long had he been there?

How much of Peter’s improvised routine had he seen?

Peter knew he’d started out like he’d planned. But halfway through it felt forced and stiff, so he’d let himself make changes, adjusting to what felt right.

And Tony Stark had been standing there long enough to know that, he was sure.

His face went hot, flushing red with embarrassment. Tony Stark had seen him dancing when he didn’t know anyone was watching.

It made his stomach do little flips of anxiety and hope all tangled up.

He tried to say hello but his words stuttered out into broken syllables, and Tony cocked an eyebrow in response. He looked good when he did that. Sexy as hell, in fact.

“That was excellent, kid. A little stiff and trite in the beginning, but once you let yourself get into it you really had something there. Me, I’m a classics guy. Give me Giselle or La Sylphide and I’m a happy camper. But that was breathtaking at the end, kiddo. How long you been working on that?” Tony spoke with an easy grace, a sincere smile on his handsome face as he set his bag down and began unpacking.

“Since now,” Peter said frantically. “Uhm I mean, that’s the first time I’ve danced to it. Not that it’s the first time I thought about dancing to it. No, I spent a lot of time planning it out, but when the time came, none of it was quite right. So I uhm, I improvised.” He could feel the heat practically steaming off his ears.

He was mortified that Mr. Stark had caught him dancing a modern routine that he hadn’t even practiced before.

Tony nodded, beginning his own stretches as he replied. “That bit at the end, do you remember what you did?”

Peter thought for a moment, then nodded shyly.

“Good, Think you can teach it to me?” Tony asked, popping his neck and giving Peter a confident grin.

“I can try,” Peter mumbled, still in awe at this gorgeous, talented man.

-----------

7 weeks later they were waiting for their cue.

The concert hall had been dimmed to near darkness, and Peter could only just make out the lines of Tony’s muscular body. They’d start out in near darkness, across the massive stage from each other.

As the song went on, the lights would grow brighter and brighter, and they’d work their way towards each other. The closer and closer they came, the more they were pulled back, fighting against invisible forces with all their might to meet in the middle.

The stage lights would brighten to the point of being uncomfortable, heat radiating down on their exposed skin, the blinding glare so intense that the audience could hardly stand it.

And the moment they met in the center of the stage, hands finally touching for the first time at the very last note of the song, the lights would turn off, descending them back into darkness, the contrast leaving the audience, as well as Tony and Peter near-blinded by the sudden pitch black.

It was Tony who had first suggested it.

They’d spent nearly every day since that first day developing it, honing each graceful move until Peter could do it blindfolded, or without the music, or sometimes both, and hit every step perfectly.

And Tony had insisted they do it that way for some rehearsals.

He was relentless in his quest for absolute perfection. It was exhausting and infuriating. But it had been worth every frustrating moment, because Peter had never loved a routine so much.

Had never loved a dance partner quite so much.

Tony had asked Peter to show him what he remembered that very first day, and they’d built off of it, refining the awkward beginning, letting themselves loosen as the song continued. Their movements shifted from tight and calculated at the start of the routine into something wild and passionate, needy even, by the end.

Tony had asked for Peter’s input, and it was still kind of dazzling to Peter that he cared so much about his ideas and opinions.

“Well of course, kiddo,” Tony had replied with a half-cocked grin. “You’re the one who started this. I’m just helping you finish it.”

Peter had learned to not stutter when Tony looked at him like that, but he couldn’t help the way his heart would clench, hanging onto every word the older man said.

And now here they were, standing on stage for the first truly modern performance Tony Stark had ever done in his professional career.

It had been advertised like crazy.

Tony was right when he said he was a classical-only kind of guy. Tonight’s performance was a huge deal for both of them.

As the orchestra cued up, Peter stilled his breathing, focusing on the vague outline of Tony he could make out across the stage.

And as the lights grew more brilliant, he kept his focus on Tony, reaching out for him, never quite close enough to touch, letting himself imagine he really was getting yanked back, away from the love of his life.

Well, the unseen hands were the only thing he had to imagine.

The love part was real.

He hadn’t told Tony, had been so careful in all their practices to keep it professional even when Tony teased him and cuddled close to him while they rested in between sets.

But tonight, Peter couldn’t hold it back, couldn’t deny what he’d been feeling for quite some time.

He loved Tony.

Loved the gentle curls of his dark hair, loved his lean muscles that were earned from years of hard work and dedication. Loved the way he ruffled Peter’s hair when he made a bad joke, and loved the encouragement Tony gave him even through the worst of their rehearsals.

He loved Tony.

And as they drew nearer and nearer, finally beginning to break free of the unseen bonds keeping them apart, a thought flashed through his mind.

What should have been a fleeting one, but it took root in his mind and heart.

And as they finally met in the center, stage lights blaring to a dazzling haze, he grasped onto Tony’s calloused hands and kissed him as the world around them went dark and the roar of the crowd’s applause enveloped them.

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thehomierobbstark · 6 years ago

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Do you think Erik likes being in front of the camera? Like if his woman was a photographer and asked him to do an x rated photo shoot just for their eyes only. I’m talking baby oil and everything, would he be a little nervous?

A/N: First, l want to say that I absolutely LOVE this question. I know I’ve been sitting on it for a minute, but every time I read it I get so many ideas in my head of how this would go, and I love how unique this thought is. I also really wanted to incorporate the above twitter post into a story, so I figured this would be the perfect opportunity! I broke this up into two parts because I felt like it would flow better, so more is to come for this. As always, thank you for asking! I hope you enjoyed my interpretation of this!

Warnings: At the bottom 👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿.

This is for all my lil cute ass black gorditas out there rockin back fat, belly rolls and thick ass thighs that touch!! x Reader is always gon be black, chubby, and sassy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I want you to come home.”

Erik lies face up on the arm of the couch, his long legs making his feet dangle over the edge on the other side, his huge body taking up all the space in the middle. He throws an arm over his forehead, blowing a raspberry and playing with the coiled extension cord that strung out from the base on the wall.

He was soo bored, waiting for her to get back to keep him company and make his night much more interesting.

“Baby, you know I’m working late tonight. I won’t be back for another few hours, I’ve got one more client left to shoot.” Y/N looks out the large glass window of her downtown studio, looking at the traffic pile up down below.

She hears him groan on the other side of the line, followed by the sound of shuffling.

Erik sits up, leaning over the back of the couch to look at the wall clock. 6:47. He kisses his teeth, pressing the phone back to his ear as he lays back down.

“Is this that same picky ass indie chick that cancelled on you twice already?” The bass in his voice comes out, and she can tell by the way his breathings changed that his nostrils are probably flared out in irritation and his grip on the phone is tighter.

It was 6:47 on a Friday night, and instead of being laid up on the couch with him, his baby was still at the studio waiting on some flake.

“You should’ve told her to find somebody else, my baby time far too valuable to be sitting around for some bummy ass knotted haired white chick to show up.”

“Relax, babe! Please? She called earlier and told me she’d be here at 7:15. I’m good babe, I promise.” Her voice is soft and soothing in his ear, and the veins in his forehead smooth down at her request.

Fine. He’d relax. But only because she’d told him to.

Rolling over to his side, he changes the subject, not wanting his own sour mood to influence hers before the shoot.

“You eat yet?”

“…No,” she admits, voice meek.

“I’ve been caught up in portfolios since three, but I’ll see if I can take a break around 8:30 and order in. Maybe that Indian place down the street?”

It was one of her favorites, and she’d discovered it one day when she was scoping the area for her studio a few years ago.

“You ain’t eat since WHEN? Uh uh. I’m coming down there Y/N. That lady got you and me fucked up.”

He shoots up from his spot on the couch, reaching over to grab his Nike Air Bakin’s he’d kicked off earlier.

“Erik-”

“Nah babe, that bird not coming, and my girl not going hungry a second longer. Call up that Indian place and order what you want. I’m on my way.”

She doesn’t even have a chance to dispute the plan before he air kisses her over the phone and hangs up, the hum of the dead line left ringing in her ear.

“Well, OK then,” she shrugs, and she holds down the switch, listening for the dial tone before typing in the number to Akbars Indian Restaurant.

At 7:30, Erik rolls into the parking structure under the building, the warm to-go boxes of Indian food filling the car with their mouth watering aroma. He’d taken it upon himself to order a couple extra samosas and garlic naan, even though Y/N said she was swearing off carbs a couple days ago.

He knew she loved the baked goods, and even though she didn’t agree, he loved the way she looked when she carried some extra weight on her. All he wanted to do was keep her fat, happy, and laughing.

His perfect little plump princess.

He keys himself into the building, riding the freight elevator all the way up to the top floor. He lifts up the gate with one hand, stepping onto the dark marble floor of the wide open space and hearing the melody of soft jazz echoing around from the overhead speakers.

She often liked to work while playing music, stating that it helped to get her mind in the zone. He eases up on his heavy footsteps to quietly navigate his way through the hallways, the veins in his forehead making a comeback.

Even if that bird did end up showing up he didn’t care, she was just gonna have to wait in the lobby or some shit while he pulled Y/N aside for a lunch break. And if she had any problems about that she could speak directly to him. He had a few things of his own he wouldn’t mind getting off his chest.

He turns the corner into the main room, seeing a white backdrop and studio lighting on the far wall, the reception desk mirroring it on the other end of the room.

A few white leather couches decorated the space in the middle surrounding a dark oakwood coffee table, and off to the side laid an old quilted blanket with a couple floor pillows thrown on top, looking out of place.

He puts the food down on the coffee table and walks around, looking to see where Y/N is. Before he can exit out into one of the neighboring storage rooms, she appears from around the corner, carrying some silver utensils and napkins from the kitchen as well as a couple bottles of water.

Her face warms as she sees him, mouth spreading open to reveal that gorgeous million dollar smile of hers that Erik couldn’t get enough of.

“You’re here,” her voice is airy and light, and he walks to meet her halfway, enveloping her into his arms. She lets herself be engulfed, burying the side of her face into his chest.

They stay like that for a few minutes, no words being said as they hold each other, Erik making soft grunts of contentment as he presses kisses into the top of her head. He lets the smells of her blueberry scented hair products fill his nostrils, taking in a huge breath.

“I missed you.” He finally speaks, and she leans her head back, neck craned as she looks up at him, resting her chin on his stomach.

“I missed you too,” she smiles, and she links her arms together behind him, his head dipping down low to kiss her on the lips, groaning lowly at how soft and plush like they feel against his.

He closes his eyes, letting his mouth lazily rest on top of hers, too comfortable to move away.

“Where patchouli at?” He mumbles against her mouth, and she snorts a laugh.

“She not coming.” She sighs, and he sniffs, giving her an admonishing Uh huh, told yo ass.

“Whatever,” she grunts, peeking around him towards the coffee table, the smell of the Indian food sparking the interest of her nose and her stomach.

She tries to pull away to go check out the awaited meal, but he pulls her back, whining from the back of his throat.

“Mmm nooo, I’m not done yet.” He lays his head on top of hers and holds her in place, her weak little attempts at wiggling out of his grasp failing miserably.

“Mooveee,” she moans at him, fake crying. “I’m hungryy.”

He can hear the pout in her words, and he smacks his gums and lifts off of her, succumbing to his baby girl.

“Fine. But I’m laying on you while you eat.” He takes her hand and leads her over to the blanket and pillows on the floor, grabbing the bag of food on the way.

“Baby ass…” she comments under her breath, but his ears pick up it, and he drops her hand, swatting her on the butt.

“Yeah and you love it too, don’t even front.” He remarks confidently, and a bashful smile pokes at her cheeks that she fights from becoming full blown. She did love it.

They sit, working together to lay out the food, Y/N grabbing one of the brussels sprouts out of the container and popping it into her mouth, chewing hungrily as she finishes filling up her plate.

She sits cross legged, digging in as Erik settles himself with his head in her lap, the rest of his body sprawled out on the floor far out of the range of the blanket. He doesn’t care at all though, rubbing his large palms against her thighs and nudging his face under her shirt to kiss at her increasingly expanding stomach, happy to see all of the items on his list of three being fulfilled.

He munches on some of the food eventually too, mainly after she’d shoved one of the potato samosas into his mouth to stop his nipping at her tummy so she could finish in peace.

After scooping the last bits of saag paneer into her mouth, she packs up the leftovers, Erik taking it to go put it in the staff refrigerator. She folds up the floor blanket, dumping it and the pillows into one of the storage chests lined against the wall.

Before she even realizes he’s back in the room, Erik latches back onto her, wrapping his arms around the front of her waist and puling her back into him, humming into her neck and rubbing her full belly.

“You gon gimme a tour now?” He asks her, and she laughs at their little ongoing joke.

Y/N always changed around the decor and artwork of the studio, utilizing the projects of her latest clients and collaborations to give her fresh ideas and inspiration for upcoming shoots.

Every few weeks there was a new theme, and since Erik could only visit a couple times a month because of his own busy schedule, every time he came it was like a new experience for him.

Since it was February, her current theme was “Black Love,” her way of honoring both the cultural celebration for the month and the Valentine’s Day celebration that fell in the middle. There were portraits of several of her old clients hung around each studio room, like family portraits, engagement photo shoots, and maternity spreads.

Each studio had a different focus, too, so it was almost like walking through a museum the way that each room told it’s own story.

Since Erik had wedged himself back into his favorite spot - arms around her shoulders and nose buried in her hair - she had no choice but to waddle herself (and his) out into the hallway to begin the tour, starting with the first door on her left.

Opening the door, they step in, immediately hit with the scent of cinnamon and soft vanilla, and it feels like the aura of the room wrapped them in its arms for a warm, comforting embrace.

“I present to you: Studio One; Age Ain’t Nothin But a Number.” She smiles lightly to herself at the name she’d borrowed from Aaliyah’s infamous first album. She’d absolutely loved the artist since childhood, and wanted to pay homage to her legacy, honoring her the right way.

The color scheme was a shimmered gold and deep burgundy, the colors immediately, reminding Erik of his friends grandparents house he’d often visit after school back in Oakland. Their house smelled exactly the same, and he could even spot the cinnamon broom sticks in the corner, giving off the fragrant smell.

The couch was vintage but it wasn’t old, and the carpet under his feet had him flashing back to the countless nights he’d spent on one just like it playing hot wheels and street fighter Sega matches.

The whole room reminded him of his childhood, a feeling somewhere between nostalgia and longing striking him in the chest. It was solidified even further for him when he looked up at the wall and saw the portraits that were hung around.

Staggered along the wall were pictures of older black couples, some by themselves, and some of couples portraits.

The biggest picture hung in the middle, and it was of a young black couple, maybe early to mid thirties, the man a deep chocolate and the woman and ebony goddess.

It wasn’t until Erik took a closer look that he noticed the clothing they wore appeared to be from an older time. As he studied their facial features, he realized that all of the pictures in the room were of them, just at different ages.

“One of my first clients,” she speaks from under his chin. He’d walked them further into the room, stopping in front of the wide portrait to get a better look.

“They came in for a shoot to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary and they told me their story. How they met, their first kiss, their first ‘I love you’s’. Four kids and eight grandkids later, and this is the legacy they’ll be leaving behind.” She smiles warmly as her eyes roam around the walls, taking in the history of their love.

“I asked if I could feature them in this months theme and in return restore their old photos for them, and they happily agreed. They even lent some photos of their own parent’s for me to use.”

She points over to the corner of the room, Erik shuffling the both of them over to look at the aged photos from another time.

The both of them observe silently for a few moments, finally separating from each other to explore on their own. Since Y/N had already seen the collection, she hung by the door, watching as Erik walked around the room like he was visiting and exhibit.

“I wanted this room to represent love in it’s truest form, and how it can survive through the years if you’re willing to put in the work. It’s never too late to find love, or do everything you can to keep it alive.”

The entire display was absolutely beautiful, and after Erik was done soaking in everything, he felt as if he’d experienced this couples love story, right along side them.

“What are their names?” He asks her, making his way back to her to assume his original position.

“Judy and Maurice Jackson.” She answers, and it’s almost as if by saying their names it breathes life into the room.

“This is amazing, baby. You’re so incredibly talented,” he praises her, and he brings her hand up to his mouth to kiss her knuckles, making her cheeks warm shyly.

“Thank you Erik,” she whispers back, and she kisses him on the cheek before grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the room, turning off the lights and shutting the door behind them.

For the next hour, that’s how they spend their time; moving from studio to studio as Y/N explains the story behind each idea.

The themes explored parental love, familial love, friendship, and cultural identity, the last one detailing just a few examples of how diverse and expansive black culture is in the United States.

Each studio had it’s own name as well, titled in order: ‘Me and Your Mama’, ‘We Are Family’, ‘Way Back’, and ‘Say It Loud’.

The last studio was a private one that Y/N had been working on for the last couple months to get it prepared for a new service she was offering in the spring.

The service would only be available to select clients, but she’d been dying to give it a test run.

Luckily, her favorite client had decided to drop by today of all days, giving her the perfect opportunity to try it out.

Approaching the closed door, she slides herself out from under Erik, instructing him to stay put while she goes inside to get the room ready.

Thinking it’s an interactive theme, he stays put, his only complaint being for her to hurry up because it was cold without her.

A few minutes pass with Erik out in the hallway by himself, and when she finally opens up the door, her small body is looking up at his, her favorite DSLR camera around her neck with a 28mm lens attached to it.

Before he has a chance to voice his confusion she pulls him into the room, shutting the door behind her.

This studio is significantly bigger than the other ones, large enough to fit an entire California King size bed and two sofas, one a suede midnight black and the other a leather blood red. Fur pelts decorate the ends of the couches, and a gigantic faux white fur rug sits in the middle of the floor.

A couple lighting setups are sitting in the corner of the room, along with a few shaded lamp covers, one in purple, one in red, and the other in white.

Over the bed hangs a low hanging chandelier with both red and purple bulbs alternating around it.

Erik hadn’t said a word since he’d stepping into the space, just the sound of his footsteps as he walks around the room, observing everything.

His curiosity leads him over to a table on the far side of the room, and he picks up one of the many bottles of baby oil sitting on top of it.

He turns around, and his face says it all.

“Y/N….” She can hear the unnervingly calm tone in his voice, meaning that she had about 5 seconds to start explaining before he put a hit out on all her male coworkers.

“Okay BEFORE you start freaking out, just wait a minute and listen.”

His nostrils flare out a little bit and he works his jaw, putting the bottle down and crossing his arms.

“You got one minute.”

She launches into her rehearsed pitch, already having practiced it in her head ten times before she even opened the door to let him in.

“Spring is coming up, and I want to offer a new service to returning customers who’d expressed their interest in the past when I brought it up. I’ve done their maternity shoots, their engagement portraits, their anniversary photos, and now I want to try my hand at…boudoir photography.”

He opens his mouth to speak, but she cuts him off, still having 30 seconds on the clock.

“It’ll only have a trial run of two months and I already have five clients booked. It won’t become a permanent service yet until I can get feedback from them, but… I need someone to test it out on first before I can start.”

His eyes grow wide at that, his eyebrows almost up to his hairline. He’d met a few of her loyal clients, and while he tried to keep it under control, he couldn’t help but be a little bit cautious when it came to some of them.

She was adored and loved by all of them, and on more than one occasion he felt like a few of the women had tried shooting their shot at her, right in front of him.

When he’d brought it up she’d laughed it off, telling him he was just being paranoid because she was bisexual, but he knew what was up.

No way anyone could just take one look at Y/N and not be immediately drawn to her; she had that effect on people. He had to protect what they had, and he wasn’t about to just watch it slip through his fingers.

“Nah babe, Ion like it. You already got way too many people up in here tryna get atchu, they don’t need an entire room dedicated to giving them an opportunity. Get one of your interns to do it.” The plain look on his face combined with his still crossed arms indicated that the conversation was over, and there would be no further discussion on the topic.

He must’ve forgot who he was fucking with.

She narrows her eyes, taking a step towards him.

“First of all, I wasn’t asking for your permission, I was telling you about my next business venture. I’m a grown ass woman and this is my business. You have no say here, Erik.”

His eyebrows were raised again, but for a different reason this time. It wasn’t often that he and his girl got into arguments, but when they did he always got just a little bit aroused at the fire in her eyes when she started going off.

She continued.

“Second of all, my interns aren’t paid to soothe your bruised ego, they’re paid to assist me when need and to gain valuable experience in their field. So try again.” She’d gotten increasingly closer with each word, and before either of them realize it she’s back in front of him again, her presence dominating.

He gives her a once over before laughing humorlessly, looking away for a moment before speaking again.

“So, what? I’m not even allowed to have an opinion on this?” His brows are furrowed together, eyes concentrated on her face.

Her own facial features soften, and she reaches out with one hand, holding his face in her palm and stroking her thumb over his cheek.

“Aww babe, of course you’re allowed to have an opinion.” A small smile appears on her lips, and she finishes her statement. “Just make sure you have it quietly.”

She drops her hand and turns and walks away to finish setting up one of the light fixtures in front of the bed.

He stares at the back of her head as she goes, burning holes into it with his blazing thoughts.

She was completely right. He had no place trying to take control over her ideas regarding her studio, especially after just seeing how amazing the outcome could be when she had creative license.

Even so, he couldn’t help but to be pissed with the way his princess was speaking to him. He’d have to remind her before they left tonight about keeping that mouth of hers in check when she was popping off at him like that. He figured a few backshot sessions over the front desk would be a good memory refresher for her.

Reaching down to adjust himself through his pants, he grunts in acceptance, following her over to where she was.

“Well, do I at least get to have a loud opinion on who it is you’re gonna be testing this out with?” He pouts.

She clicks the soft white shade into place on the camera, then walks over to the light switch to turn off the main fluorescent lights and tun on the red ones, their subtle glow primarily on and around the bed.

“I hope so baby. Because you’re the one whose gonna be testing out for me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings: Fluff, Humor, SoftBoi! Erik

#nons #TheHomieFics #erik killmonger x black!reader #erik killmonger x reader #erik killmonger #bp #black panther #black panther fandom #black panther fanfiction

413 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 4 years ago

Text

916

What Rhymes With “AIR”?

1. Are the walls of your room bare or do you have things hanging up there? I have some things on the wall, yes. A few paintings, Audrey Hepburn wall decors, and a poster of Nam Joo Hyuk. I used to have wrestling posters but my mom, ever the control freak, removed them because she didn’t like them. Sigh.

2. When’s the last time you went outside to enjoy the fresh air? I went out this morning to take Cooper to the vet for his anti-rabies shot. I didn’t necessarily do it to enjoy the fresh air, but that came along with the experience as well anyway.

3. Do you watch the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? I started watching it this month actually! It’s super fun and Will Smith’s physical comedy is hilarious, but it isn’t really the type of show I’d binge-watch given how old the jokes and some of the tropes already are. I definitely don’t dislike it, but I just take longer to watch the episodes.

4. When’s the last time it felt like you were walking on air? Sunday, when I had my virtual grad and found out my parents and aunt and uncle got all my favorite food delivered to the house :) We had baked sushi, baked samgyeopsal, Pancit Malabon, and pichi-pichi that day, aaaaahhhhhh.

5. Have you ever been on air, on a radio station? Very briefly. One of our field trips in high school was a visit to a major broadcasting network, and we we were brought to their AM radio studio. The broadcaster on air at the time – one of my favorites of all time – welcomed us and gave us a chance to say hi on air.

6. Have you ever felt like all of the air was coming out of your lungs? Sure, but I guess it’s more accurate to say that I’ve occasionally felt the sensation of my chest increasingly tightening.

7. Has it seemed as though anything has ever disappeared into thin air? Have you ever pulled an idea out of thin air? The first one, yes. I have this stupid ability to drop a certain thing and have it disappear forever; I hate that it happens to me all the time lol.

I can relate with the second situation as well; when I was still in school and had to write essays, reaction papers, anything of the sort, I’d wait till the last possible minute to start working on it since it’s by then that the good ideas start pouring in.

8. Have you ever wanted to be on “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”? Sure. I’ve enjoyed trivia for as long as I can remember, so the show has always been right up my alley.

9. Do you know a billionaire in real life? No. I know a loooot of CEO kids, kids of MNC owners/executives, and kids of political dynasties though...comes with the environment I grew up in and the schools I went to.

10. Would you like to be an heir or heiress to a fortune? I wouldn’t say no to that.

11. Would you be able to successfully get away if you ever came across a bear? The one thing I keep hearing is to stay very still, so I’d be doing my best to do just that. I got no other survival skills though and if there’s apparently anything more that needs to be done during a bear encounter, then I don’t know of them.

12. Where’s your favorite place to go? How long does it take to get there? Hmm I’ve loved going to many places. My favorite vacation spots so far have been Sagada - that’s a 15, 16-hour road trip from Manila; Vigan - 8-hour road trip; and Palawan - an hour or so plane ride from Manila. If we’re taking nearby places, I like going to coffee shops to unwind and have a pastry or two. I don’t have a favorite one; I just go to whichever one’s the nearest to me at the moment.

13. How often do you err on the side of caution? I keep it at a healthy 50/50. There are times I’m okay with taking a big leap, but if I’m not super invested in something anyway and/or if there’s not a lot in it for me, I play it safe.

14. How often do people say they’re angry with you? My life revolves around being a (very cautious) people pleaser and making sure I don’t piss off people. The only people who have told me they’re angry with me are my mom and girlfriend.

15. Do you own any long underwear? I have never heard of these until today. I’d love to live somewhere so cold I need to wear clothes specifically meant to be worn underneath my actual outfit lol

16. How much Tupperware do you own? I’m Filipino, man. Filipino moms practically make it their life’s mission to collect as many Tupperware containers as they can. I’m pretty sure we have a bunch that we didn’t even own to begin with - just magically ended up in our cupboard after all the parties and gatherings we’ve had hahaha.

17. What color is your underwear right now? Green.

18. Do you still sleep with a teddy bear? I never slept with stuffed animals; I preferred pillows.

19. What pair of your shoes has the most wear and tear? In my first year of college the only shoes I owned was a pair of Keds. Used it for everything and it unsurprisingly ended up being super worn out - soles got detached from the shoe and all that. I think we still have it here at home – still destroyed – but it’s been untouched for a while.

20. Do you like to play Solitaire? It was a great boredom buster game for me for a time, especially when phone apps weren’t all that expansive yet. I haven’t played it in many months though.

21. Do you or your family own a full set of silverware? We do.

22. What do you have to take everywhere with you? Phone, wallet, car and house keys. Because of school I’ve also developed a habit of accidentally bringing my laptop nearly everywhere I go – I brought it to the vet once, lol

23. Would you like to visit Delaware? Yes. Delaware actually stands out in my memory because I remember reading in a kids’ almanac many years ago that it was the first to become a US state. Ever since then I’ve kinda bookmarked the place in my head.

24. Last time you received dental care? December. My tooth had been hurting for a couple of months but it became absolutely unbearable by that month so I had to book an emergency appointment days before Christmas. I felt super bad for the hassled dentist (who doubles as a family friend, which made it more embarrassing)... but at that point I was crying myself to sleep every night and would wake up at 3 AM crying in pain, and I would’ve done anything for the toothache to go away.

25. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Somewhere brutally cold.

26. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? I’ve never been able to relate to this question, lol soz.

27. Are you satisfied sitting here, taking this survey, or would you rather be elsewhere? I’m satisfied for now. I found more potential leads when it came to job-hunting and I’m not feeling too anxious anymore. I’ve been so focused on looking for corporate communications/PR jobs in the private sector that I forgot about the possibility of applying my skills in something I’m even more passionate about - museums! We have a few government agencies focused on museums, culture, and the arts and I definitely see myself performing in the jobs they offer. It’s even better because it’ll help me get my foot in the door in government positions, and as someone who’s indecisive about law it’ll be a great bridge to start with. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

28. Last time you sat in a barber’s chair? Early March.

29. Do you own any cans of compressed air? I’m not sure...had to look that up. Maybe we do? Idk. Dad will sometimes hoard random grownup stuff from the hardware store so I’m not ruling this one out.

30. Do you have a swivel chair at your desk? Nope.

31. Do you prefer an armchair or a rocking chair? Rocking chair.

32. Would you rather have a beanbag chair or a hanging swing chair in your room? Hanging swing chair sounds so hipster and awesome lol. I’ve had my time with a beanbag chair anyway.

33. What’s the last non-survey related questionnaire that you had to fill out? SSS form.

34. Are there any crimes that you feel make someone deserving of the electric chair? Not really a death penalty kinda gal, but if anyone had to sit in the electronic chair it’ll be people torturing and abusing animals for fun.

35. Do you know anyone who uses a wheelchair? Yes.

36. Do you know anyone who is on welfare? I probably do.

37. Do you play Modern Warfare? Nopes.

38. Do you ever feel like life is unfair? It is, objectively. I’m a little pessimistic when it comes to this.

39. Have you ever visited Times Square? No. I dunno if I wanna go there...it seems so crowded and claustrophobic, not to mention super tourist-y haha. I’d love to visit once just to see the bright lights and the giant ads, but I’d much rather be at museums and historical sites.

40. Do you tell people to “take care” at the end of a conversation with them? Sometimes. I’ve been saying it a lot more often these days, for obvious reasons.

41. Where is somewhere that you would like to move to? Canada. But I also feel like if I moved there immediately it would be such a culture shock in terms of the weather, culture, how far away I am from family, etc. and I doubt I would cope well. I suppose I can move to either Vietnam or Singapore first, as kind of like a baby step.

42. What is something in your home that needs to be repaired? One of the stovetop burners stopped working last night and my dad’s determined to fix that.

43. What kind of sleepwear do you own? I go to bed in just my normal home clothes; I don’t change to anything else.

44. What skin care products do you use? Water. ;) I’m one of the lucky ones lol.

45. Do you have any spyware on your computer? Nope.

46. Do you own any sportswear? What sports? I have athletic shorts from when I played table tennis.

47. Do you like Fred Astaire? Sure. I’ve only seen one movie of his (Funny Face) and he was a delight in that.

48. How long does it take you to prepare a meal? I only ever make instant meals, oops.

49. Do you know anyone named Pierre? Yes, Eva’s youngest sister is a Pierre. I’m just not sure if it’s also the same spelling.

50. Are you going nowhere fast? I hope not. I’m giving myself a quick break for now after studying for 18 years straight but like I’m not out of ambition or anything like that at all.

51. How often do you have a nightmare? Not very. They only show up when I’m going through a depression. My last nightmare was two or so years ago.

52. How often are you able to catch something in mid-air? It’s unpredictable with me. Some days my reflexes are great but sometimes I’ll just be so clumsy.

53. What do your lawn chairs look like? Brown and wooden.

54. How many chairs are at your dining/kitchen table? Six; just right for our family of five.

55. Favorite type of footwear? Sneakersssssss.

56. When’s the last time one of your senses were impaired? From what? My left eye still gets irritated from time to time. We never really found out what’s wrong with it; my first checkup happened on the day before lockdown, so we never got to go back. When it starts to act up, I usually have no choice but to wait for it to go away.

57. Have you ever been in a hot air balloon before? No. I’ve been to hot air balloon festivals though. That’s enough for me haha; I’m not desiring to be in one and be up in the sky.

58. Do you have a good health care plan? My parents do for us kids.

59. Last time you went to the hardware store? Months ago.

60. Have you ever played foursquare before? No. I thought that was just a website. Oops.

61. Do you own any types of eyewear? I’ve worn a pair of glasses since I was 11. I had needed them much earlier but my mom always thought I was being a sissy and just ‘wanted’ glasses to fit in with other kids. It was such a stupid mindset, and it was so stupid of her to not believe her kid WHO WAS STARTING TO NOT SEE. It was only when I took an eye exam at the school clinic and the school wrote her a letter that she finally believed me, but I had been suffering for a while and could barely read the chalkboard for like two years, which definitely affected my grades.

62. What brand of cookware do you have a lot of? Not sure about brands.

63. Nothing can compare to: Having a complete, loving, and supportive family.

64. Have you ever worked in a childcare center? I haven’t.

65. Do you have a “beware of dog” sign on your gate? Nah. I usually say it myself. Kimi never got used to strangers.

66. Have you ever attended daycare as a child? I guess you can say that? It wasn’t daycare per se but some malls used to have play areas/centers and my mom used to drop me off in those while she ran errands for a few hours. Those aren’t too common nowadays because I guess it’s more dangerous to leave your kids now, even with attendants, but they were a fun part of my childhood.

67. Are you very aware of your surroundings? I’m honestly a little ditzy so no. I always need a more responsible, more street smart friend by my side especially when I’m going somewhere unfamiliar.

68. Have you ever had an au pair or a nanny before? We used to have househelp, but we never saw them as nannies. A vast majority of them never met my mom’s (extremely high) expectations and quit in a few weeks or months, sometimes even days; the few ones who did eventually wanted better lives for themselves and resigned after a few years, which we didn’t stop them from doing. At some point my mom gave up having help around and realized that ultimately, she’d rather clean up and do chores her way.

69. Do you know anyone who has had an affair? Yes.

70. How much are you willing to spend on airfare? I’ve never bought my own ticket so I don’t know how much they’re supposed to be on average...but I imagine I’m willing to pay a lot of money if it means going to the destinations of my dreams.

71. Who do you care about the most? The friends that I count as family.

72. Are you more likely to choose truth or dare? Truth. I’m too shy to do dares and I’ve never had a problem telling the truth anyway.

73. Have you ever seen the Blair Witch Project before? Yes, a few times.

74. Do you like the name Claire? Would you spell it with or without the I? I love it, it sounds elegant and graceful and it’s one of my favorite names. I prefer it with an I – I don’t know any Clares, actually.

75. Last time you went to a fair? Last week of January.

76. What can be done to make life more fair? Ending world hunger and poverty and making education accessible for all.

77. How much are you willing to spend on cab fare? Not much. Cab fares should be fair after all.

78. Do you have a lot of flair? To some extent, I guess. I’m certainly not dragging myself down haha.

79. Do you own flare jeans? Nopes.

80. Is there a glare on your computer screen right now? There isn’t.

81. When’s the last time someone glared at you? Sometime in the last week would be a safe guess. My mom will sometimes communicate through glares and I’ve picked up the habit from her as well.

82. What type of hair do you have? (color, length, texture, etc) How often do you wash it? It’s black, quite thick, a bit on the wavy side, and has a tendency to get frizzy when it’s humid. Length-wise, it currently reaches just my collarbones. After a rebonding disaster around a decade ago my hair got a bit dry and it never really recovered from that, so I need to wash my hair with a giant blob of conditioner every time I take a shower otherwise it would get dry and hard.

83. Do you know the difference between a rabbit and a hare? I know hares are larger, but that’s about it.

84. Do you like to eat eclairs? LOVE them.

85. What do you consider to be your lair? My car has served as my safety bubble for so many depressing days in college. That’s why I got a little heartbroken when my dad told me he might have plans to sell it to my aunt (his sister).

86. A female horse is called a mare. What is a male horse called? A baby horse? Stallion; foal. Thank you, kid’s almanacs haha.

87. Have you ever used Nair before? Did it work? I used Veet in middle school when razors still scared me. It worked, but it took a whiiiiile and sometimes it wouldn’t even take all the hair off, so eventually I just started shaving.

88. Has anyone ever told you to “grow a pair”? No, and no thanks.

89. What is something that you own a pair of? Dogs.

90. What is a rare quality that you have? Other people will have to answer that. They’re the ones who see me and get to decide what’s rare about me.

91. Last food you pared? I don’t think I’ve done that.

92. Do you know someone who is a debonair? Sure.

93. Do you like to scare others for fun? No.

94. What is something that scares you? The idea of being in a plane crash, for one.

95. Do you like Sonny and Cher? Can’t say I’m a fan or that I’ve listened to anything of theirs.

96. Do you know how to share? Do you like to share? Sure. The only thing I’m a little selfish about is my food lol.

97. Have you ever played a snare drum before? A few times before, yes.

98. What do you do with your spare change? I give them to the tambays who help me get out of parking spots. That or I use it to buy food in school, since everything in UP’s cheap enough to pay with coins.

99. Do you know how to put on a spare tire? No. I’m interested to learn though.

100. Have you ever gotten a spare while bowling before? Yep, it’s happened a few times.

101. When’s the last time you wished someone would spare you the details? A week ago.

102. Do you win games fair and square? Sure. I’ve only cheated once and that was on an exam.

103. Do you know how to find the square root of something? Not anymore. I do have a bunch of perfect squares still memorized, though.

104. What are the characteristics of a square shape? Four equal sides that are also right angles.

105. Have you ever been called a square before? No. I don’t know what that means either, so if I got called that I wouldn’t know how to react.

106. Do you prefer the elevator or the stairs? Elevator.

107. Do you ever stare at other people? Only if it’s a bizarre situation. Once when this drunk guy got arrested in BGC and was being physical with the police, I stared and watched the whole thing. I do try to look away for most scenarios though.

108. How often do you swear? A few times a day.

109. Do you ever “swear on your life”? It’s not a saying that I commonly use, no.

110. What do you like to “tear up”? Eh, I don’t really like tearing up things.

111. What type of wares would you sell? Not interested in sales or business, so that’s a pass for me haha.

112. What kinds of clothing do you like to wear? I like wearing whatever’s trendy, as long as I genuinely like the look.

113. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare before? Never. [a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

#survey #surveys

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nessa-is-bored · 5 years ago

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100 reasons why I love Lee Taeyong

I’m not good at making gifs or making fancy video edits with emotional music playing in the background, so instead I give you some of the reasons why I adore Taeyong. Happy birthday to an absolute angel!

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1. I love how he’s an amazing leader and someone who his members can always rely on.

2. I love how much he loves Ruby and how he talks about her fondly.

3. I love how much he always thinks of the fans, and tells us to take care of ourselves.

4. I love how humble he stays, no matter how many opportunities he and NCT get, he always says it’s because of us, NCTZENs.

5. I love how even the earpiece he wears on stage is a dedication to NCTZENs.

6. I love how passionate he is during every performance. It doesn’t matter if the venue is big or small, he gives his all during every stage.

7. I love how much Taeyong loves music. He’s involved in creating NCT’s music and you can just tell how much he loves being in the studio.

8. I love the passion he has for his job. An idol who just cares about making money can’t compare to an idol who genuinely loves what they do. And I can see and feel, with all of Taeyong’s performances, that he loves the stage.

9. I love how much Taeyong wants to be acknowledged for more than his looks and how he works hard every single day to make that happen.

10. I love how beautiful Taeyong looks when he genuinely smiles.

11. I love how precious his laughter is. It’s like music to my ears when I hear that man laugh.

12. I love how Taeyong puts others before himself and how selfless he is.

13. I love how Taeyong tries his best to speak to fans in their native language when he visits a new place.

14. I love how big of a heart he has.

15. Taeyong is the cutest when he sees animals and pets them, I love that so much 😊

16. I love that he loves plushies so much! I mean, how much cuter can he freaking get?

17. I love him because he set up a scholarship to help students in school.

18. I love that he has had this scholarship set up since he debuted and he didn’t do it to make himself look good, he did it out of the kindness of his heart. If the principal of that school hadn’t said anything, we wouldn’t even know about it.

19. I love how he finds time in his busy schedule to volunteer.

20. I love how he makes sure every member is given a chance to speak if they want to during interviews.

21. I love how Taeyong is constantly trying to better himself, as a performer and a person.

22. I love that he once said he tries to keep his opinions of things to himself so that each member can comfortably come to him and express their thoughts.

23. I love how versatile he is. I feel like there’s no concept that Taeyong can’t pull off!

24. I love how much he loves sweets.

25. And I love that when he goes live and is eating sweets, he looks so happy and overall precious!

26. I love that when he is live he just talks to us as if he were catching up with a friend.

27. I love how excited he gets talking about his day and about his music while he’s live.

28. I love the pictures he takes in every new place he visits to share with us.

29. I love every photo shoot he’s ever done with dispatch.

30. And I love how cutely he greets dispatch photographers at the airports.

31. I love that when he feels the beat he just starts dancing.

32. I love the expressions he make while he’s dancing.

33. I love the dance he choreographed for Whiplash. Iconic!

34. I love how stunning he looks when he wears headbands.

35. I love how pretty he looks with bobby pins in his hair.

36. I love how I swore no one could pull off a mullet, but somehow he could do it.

37. I love how he can make any hair color work because he’s Lee Taeyong

38. He can work any hair color but I love Taeyong with black hair because he looks like a prince. And black hair with a suit? Forget about it! That boy has me weak.

39. I love how fluffy his hair can look and how soft it looks when he runs his fingers through it.

40. I love his nose and I wanna boop it!

41. I love his side profile, but then again, Taeyong’s perfect from any angle.

42. I love how he dresses and how clothes are another way for him to express himself

43. I love the customizations he adds to his clothes to make them even more unique.

44. I love how cute he looks in oversized clothing.

45. And I love how cute he looks in glasses

46. Taeyong’s hands. I love them.

47. I love that he can cook. Men who can cook themselves and others a meal are sexy and that’s that.

48. I love the Halloween costumes he comes up with every year.

49. I love how he looks in sparkly clothes.

50. I love how he sometimes (almost always) gets shy when he gets compliments. You would think he’d be used to them by now but he still turns into the cutest, shy bub when he gets one.

51. I love how absolutely beautiful Taeyong looks in unedited, fan pictures.

52. I especially love how he looks in Tyrant Syndrome’s photos.

53. I love how adorable he was when some of the members went on the bridge and he was scared the whole way through it.

54. I love that he wrote the lyrics to their predebut song ‘Piece of Mind’

55. I love how my eyes are just drawn to him during NCT performances.

56. I love that when Angel of Mine comes up on my playlist, the first person to pop into my head is Lee Taeyong.

57. Also when I hear ‘God Must Have Spent A Little More Time on You’ I always think of Taeyong as well.

58. I love what a dork he can be.

59. I love how precious he can be when he’s sulking.

60. I love that he’s learning to play the ukulele. Can’t wait for his first, full ukulele cover!

61. I think we all loved when Mr. Lee Taeyong performed ‘Wakey-Wakey’ in a fucking crop top. That was a moment!

62. I loved watching Taeyong perform ‘Baby Don’t Like It’ live because that performance nearly ended me.

63. I love every fan cam of Taeyong performing ‘Cherry Bomb’, that’s just his fucking song!

64. Oh and also, I have to mention that Mark and Taeyong performing ‘Mad City’ is one of the best things ever! I love that shit as well.

65. I love the pretty earrings he wears.

66. I love Taeyong in all the ‘Boss’ era outfits and I want everyone to freaking know that.

67. I love how he can make walking through an airport look like a runway fashion show.

68. I love how on stage he’s so charismatic and powerful and off stage he’s the cutest bub ever.

69. I love how he’s taken care of the Dreamies since they were young and how Jisung said he wanted to be like Taeyong when he grew up.

70. I love how when he’s with Johnny and Yuta, he’s suddenly the cutest baby.

71. I love how he lets his members tease him. I mean, they kept that TY Track joke going for a while and he always just laughed it off.

72. I love how he and Doyoung are always bickering.

73. I love how much he loves his nephew and how happy he is when he talks about him.

74. I love how much he’s come out of his shell since his debut days. I mean that cute Taeyong we know now wasn’t the image he was giving us during debut days.

75. I love that he’s comfortable in his body. And all you people who wanna comment on his, or anyone’s bodies, need to not. If he’s comfortable then that’s that.

76. I love how during his debut stages, Taeyong never ever slacked even when he was the only member who the “fans” wouldn’t cheer for.

77. I love how when a fan expressed that they missed OT10 while Winwin wasn’t promoting with NCT 127, Taeyong said that he did as well and that one day they’d all be together again. He also said not to be sad.

78. And as much as people want to act like NCT ignore WayV, I love how Taeyong mentions them during a lot of his lives.

79. And I love that when Winwin was added to NCT, Taeyong went out of his way to make him feel comfortable and to make sure he had the choreography down.

80. I love how the position of leader isn’t something he takes lightly. He monitors NCT’s performances and works with the staff to make them the best.

81. I love and admire how when Jungwoo was nervous backstage, Taeyong was there comforting him.

82. I love how Taeyong is slowly getting more involved in the production side of music. I think in the future he’s really going to give us even more gems and I’m looking forward to it.

83. I love when he allows himself to be confident in his skills, because he has every right to be.

84. We don’t hear it enough but I love Taeyong’s singing voice, and I hope I get to hear it more often.

85. I love his rapping style and I don’t care what you bitches try to say, I think he’s a freaking amazing rapper.

86. I love Taeyong’s lyrics. And I love how some are slightly suggestive, some are like an insight into his thoughts, some are just plain weird, but I freaking love them all. I love the fact that there’s a variety and that he can write about several topics.

87. I love how in My Van, he not so subtly tells people that being an SM idol doesn’t mean they have it easier or don’t work as hard as others.

88. I love the predebut song he performs with Kun and Doyoung, Switch Off. It’s a masterpiece and everyone needs to go listen to it!

89. I love how absolutely adorable and precious he looks when he pouts.

90. I love how when NCT wins an award or a weekly music show, Taeyong thanks, not only us, but the members families as well.

91. I love how Taeyong keeps post it notes that fans give him to read them back later.

92. I love how he tries his best to talk to fans during fansigns, even when the staff is rushing them

93. I love how big his eyes are and I like that they look like they’re shining.

94. I love the look on Taeyong’s face when he looks out into a crowd of fans.

95. I love watching him grow. I still remember watching Open the Door back in 2014 and becoming and instant fan! And to see how much he’s grown as a performer and person since that day, just amazes me.

96. I love how much his seniors adore him because he’s so respectful towards them. BoA, Yunho, and Heechul, just to name a few, talk great about Taeyong.

97. I love him because he literally pushes through the pain just to put on the best performance for us. He shouldn’t have to do that, but he does and I love him for always doing his absolute best despite the circumstances.

98. I love how Taeyong once said that it won’t be easy for us to like him and how now he’s learning to love himself and to let himself be loved by others.

99. I love how strong he is, because he puts up with so much and has put up with so much unnecessary hate since his debut.

100. I love how happy being his fan makes me. My world doesn’t revolve around an idol, but Taeyong is one of the few things in life that makes me happy. I’ll support him forever and alway!

#taeyong #happy taeyong day #happytaeyongday #nct #nct 127 #anyways this is cringe but i had to do something for taeyongs birthday

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vexedtonightmares · 5 years ago

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last dance (elu ballet au) chapter quatre

Lucas is in his final year at the Paris Opera Ballet School and he’ll be damned if he lets his former friend-turned-rival Eliott steal the lead role in their production of Swan Lake.

aka- lucas and eliott are rivals who are forced to room together for their final year of ballet school before they try to enter the company. we can all see where this is going.

i. ii. iii. iv.

ao3

Vendredi 8:00

When Lucas was anxious, he stretched. As he sat in the hallway waiting his turn for his solo audition he alternated between a right, center, and left side split as if doing so would calm his nerves. Manon would hold his leg in an oversplit every now and then, sometimes forgetting she was even doing it when she went into one of her pre-performance dazes.

Lucas was the type of person to mark everything out with his hands before combinations or performances, but Manon marked in her head, face going completely blank as she entered her own mind and didn’t come out until she had her routine perfected. While Manon was enraptured in one such daze, Imane sat down directly in front of Lucas as he stretched, looking at him pointedly.

He took out one of his earbuds and raised his eyebrows at her. “Yes?”

“I just wanted to wish you luck,” she said casually. He raised his eyebrows further. Imane wasn’t usually one to wish him luck or compliment him. They’d stood beside one another at the barre since the first day but they hadn’t really talked much outside of class, at least no more than they normally did.

“You… wanted to wish me luck?” he clarified, shifting from a split to butterfly position, rolling out his feet as he spoke.

She rolled her eyes. “Yes.”

“Ok…”

She rolled her eyes again. “You could say thank you.”

“Thank you, Imane. Can I ask why you’re suddenly concerned with wishing me luck?” He propped his elbows on his ankles and leaned forward to put his chin in his hands.

“Because.” She glanced to the side, lowering her voice. “I’m rooting for you.”

He was surprised by her explanation. “Really? I thought you and Sofiane were friends, and isn’t Eliott friends with your brother?”

She shrugged. “Sofiane doesn’t want the Prince. He wants Von Rothbart. And Eliott… well, Eliott’s my friend too, but he doesn’t need my luck.”

“Thanks a lot.”

“I’m not saying he’s better than you, I think you have a real chance at the role Lucas. Seriously. I just know think Eliott likes to tackle these things on his own, so he doesn’t need me wishing him luck. Part of what makes him so good is that he does this because he genuinely loves it, not because he wants a role, or a company spot, or whatever,” she explained. “You’re the same.”

Lucas agreed to disagree in his mind. If Eliott danced simply because he’d loved it, he would still be the same Eliott Lucas had been friends with as a child. Unfortunately, that Eliott was either long gone or buried too far to ever come back out again. Lucas was somewhere in the middle. A part of him didn’t care if he was ever a principal dancer, so long as he got the opportunity to dance for as long as humanly possible, but the other, slightly louder part warned him that it would all be for nothing if he didn’t get this role, the company invitation, the successful career most dreamed of but never achieved.

“Plus,” she added, “You have a real chance, unlike us girls.”

He furrowed his brows. “What are you talking about?”

Imane lowered her voice, but Manon was still in a daze, headphones in her ears. “Please, we both know Odette is Manon’s role and they’re probably just going to go ahead and cast her as Odile as well.” She grimaced, but looked resigned to the fact. He understood how she felt, it was how he’d always felt about Eliott. He wanted to argue with her, tell her that he thought she had a fighting chance as well, but it would have sounded hollow. They both knew it wasn’t true.

“Well, good luck regardless. Maybe you’ll be the Queen Mother,” he suggested.

She gave him a half smile. “Maybe. I’ll just settle for not being cut.”

“Psshh, come on, that doesn’t sound like the badass competitive Imane I know. You’re going to get a role, and it’ll be better than Odette, but don’t tell Manon I said that,” he said, grinning at her.

She laughed and held out a hand. “I won’t tell if you don’t tell anyone I wished you luck. My reputation would be ruined.”

He clasped her hand and shook it once. “Deal.”

The door to the studio opened and Yann came out, widening his eyes at Lucas and shrugging helplessly. That wasn’t a very promising reaction, but Lucas knew how hard Yann always was on himself, so he expected that the audition had probably gone better than Yann thought it did.

“Lucas Lallemant?” Madame Rigaux called, as if he wasn’t right in front of her. He stood and took a deep breath, looking back down a moment at Imane before starting towards the door.

“Break a leg,” she whispered to him as he went, and he couldn’t help but smile. As the door closed behind him and he stood in front of all of his instructors waiting to be judged, he was filled with a surge of confidence. He could do this.

He smiled again to himself as the music came on, and he let himself remember the days he and Eliott spent rehearsing this same piece back when they were seven, eight years old. Granted, they hadn’t known how to do any of the steps at the time, but he was just as passionate about the dance then as he was now. He channeled that passion, feeling every movement, every pause, every breath, forgetting that this was even a competition at all.

Vendredi 21:39

Lucas hadn’t stopped overthinking since he’d finished with auditions earlier that evening. Sure, they’d felt great at the time, but what if he was being overconfident? What if he really wasn’t as good as he thought he was? Why did he have to wait until tomorrow night to find out if he’d achieved one of his dreams or failed miserably?

He sat in a slightly catatonic state on the couch, not even worried if Eliott would show up and try to engage with him in any way. Eliott, oddly enough, hadn’t even returned to the room yet, even though auditions were long over. Lucas decided not to think about it too much, decided to just be grateful.

His phone buzzed at his side and he picked it up to see that he had a message from Yann in a group with him, Yann, and Arthur. He rolled his eyes at the fact that Yann was texting them when he was just down the hall from Lucas and a room away from Arthur.

GROUP CREATED: ballet bros

Yann: Feeling up to talking about auditions yet, anyone?

Lucas: *insert zombie noise here*

Yann: Oh, good, glad to hear it

Lucas: Just come in here if you guys want to talk, Eliott’s god knows where so I’m alone

Yann: Can’t, I’m making noodles

Yann: Also, Arthur is out

Yann: You can come in here?

Lucas: I physically cannot move. I will not be able to move until cast lists are posted.

Lucas: Wait, where’s Arthur?

Yann: Where isn’t Arthur is the better question

Arthur Broussard changed the group name to “ballet hoes”

Arthur: You’d better be able to move before results are up! The party, remember? Night of our lives?

Lucas: He lives!

Yann: Night of our lives might be a stretch, but Arthur's got the right spirit

Lucas: I don’t know guys…

Arthur: Come on, Lulu. You promisedddddd

Yann: ^^^

Lucas: Ughhhhhhh

Arthur: Would it make it better if I told you that there will be a ton of hot guys there?

Lucas: …

Arthur: No? Damn, I thought that’d do it for sure

Arthur: Would for me

Arthur: Fuck, I miss Alexia, the only one I could freely thirst with

Lucas: Easy there, loverboy

Lucas: I’m just not really in a dating mindset, there’s more important things for me to be focusing on like, hmm, I don’t know, ballet?

Arthur: Who said anything about dating?

Lucas: Ugh, Yann where’d you go

Yann: … I regret to inform you I’m with Arthur on this one

Lucas: I hate you both

Yann: Hey! Come on, what’s so bad about a one-time hookup? Might help you get the stick out of your ass

Arthur: Or in your ass

Lucas: A R T H U R

Lucas: I’m blocking both of you

Lucas: I hate you

Arthur: Hate us all you want, you know we’re right

Lucas Lallemant has left the group “ballet hoes”

He did know they were probably right, which was why he left. He didn’t want to deal with anything other than his own melancholy at the present moment. Then again, a ton of hot guys didn’t sound like the worst thing in the world. If anything, it could help distract him.

Arthur Broussard added Lucas Lallemant to the group “ballet hoes”

Arthur: Not so fast Lulu

Lucas: Should have blocked when I had the chance

Yann: You could never block us and you know it

Lucas: So…

Lucas: What time is the party again?

Arthur: WE GOT HIM

Yann: HELL YEAH

Arthur: It’s at 22h but we’ll probably get there a little later

Arthur: Fashionably late is back in style

Yann: And it’s going to take you an extra hour to pick out your outfit

Arthur: Yes, that too

Lucas: Fine, fine. The booze had better be worth it

Arthur: *boys, but yes

Lucas Lallemant has changed the group name to “I hate both of you so much :)”

Arthur Broussard has changed the group name to “Way harsh, Lulu”

Yann Cazas changed has changed the group name to “Yann and Arthur are the best.”

Lucas Lallemant has left the group “Yann and Arthur are the best.”

Samedi 22:47

“What’s up bitches!” Alexia greeted Yann, Arthur, and Lucas at the door, grinning so wide Lucas was sure she was going to pull a muscle. There was already quite a few people there and Lucas felt a bit anxious about arriving at the time they did. He very much liked to be places on time or early and even though this was a party, he couldn’t help but feel his stomach twist at the thought of being so late.

Alexia pulled Lucas into a hug and he hugged her back tightly. He’d missed her presence at the school quite a bit, but she seemed to be thriving away from it, which was good. The ballet lifestyle wasn’t for everyone. Sometimes Lucas wondered what his life would be like if he was a bit more like Alexia, or even Arthur.

He was pulled from his thoughts by Arthur’s hand gripping his arm and pulling him further into the house, aiming for drinks. Lucas pondered a moment about whether the extra calories would be worth it, but decided he could risk it for the night. It wasn’t like he drank often enough for it to cause a problem for him.

Arthur mixed him up something that tasted awful, but that was to be expected. He downed as much of it as he could in one gulp, staying true to his plan to try to get so drunk he’d forget that he was a mess of anxiety over the casting that was due to be released in any minute.

“Easy there, save some for the rest of us.” Arthur patted Lucas’ shoulder and refilled his drink before drifting away into the middle of the crowd. Yann stayed with Lucas, watching from afar.

“It’s strange, huh?” Yann asked, gazing at all the people.

Lucas turned his head up to look at Yann. “What is?”

Yann took a drink and shrugged. “The normalcy of it all. Most of the people here do things like this every weekend.” “Yeah,” Lucas agreed, following Yann’s stare. It was sort of weird to think about, how all of this was so normal for so many people, and such a treat for people like them. Well, maybe treat wasn’t the best word, but he didn’t know a better one. Anomaly, maybe. That’s what he felt like, at least.

“Would you like to indulge in this mirage of the ‘normal teen experience’ with me?” Yann asked, holding out a hand. Lucas laughed and rolled his eyes at the melodrama of it all, but he took Yann’s hand and allowed himself to be led for the second time that night, this time into the center of a room full of people dancing.

He saw Imane, Daphné, Manon, and Emma dancing with Alexia in a little circle of their own making, each of them looking happy to be reunited with one of their best friends. Basile was with Arthur, the latter trying to teach Basile how to do the robot dance and failing miserably.

Imane’s brother Idriss was even there, standing in a corner chatting with Sofiane and Eliott. Wait— Eliott? What was he doing there? Lucas racked his brain to try to remember if Eliott had mentioned that he would be out that night, but Lucas quickly realized he hadn’t seen Eliott all day. He hadn’t come back to their room until nearly one in the morning the night before, going straight to bed without saying a word to Lucas, and then was gone before Lucas woke up that morning. He wasn’t complaining, but it was a bit weird.

It still didn’t answer why Eliott was there, either. Sure, he was friends with Sofiane and Idriss, but as far as Lucas knew he and Alexia hadn’t been very close. Yann noticed Eliott at the same time Lucas did and sighed. “Ignore him, Lucas.”

It’s not that easy, he wanted to say, even though it should have been. Why was it never easy for him to ignore Eliott? Eliott happened to look his way right at that moment, locking eyes with him over the heads of a sea of people. There was a hardness in his eyes that wasn’t usually there, uncharacteristically closed off. Lucas wondered if it had anything to do with their talk a week before. They really hadn’t spoken at all since, Lucas realized. Good.

“Let’s dance,” Lucas decided, setting his empty cup down and trying his best to sway to the beat in a manner that would constitute as normal for anyone who wasn’t training to become a ballet dancer. It was harder than he’d anticipated, and Yann was on the verge of laughing at him. “Fuck off, like you can do any better,” he spat bitterly, watching the way Yann’s eyebrows raised in amusement.

As it turned out, Yann could do better than him, which was utterly infuriating. Now he didn’t just have to worry about his actual dancing, he had to worry about stereotypical party dancing as well?

Someone bumped his shoulder, and Lucas turned sluggishly. Maybe the alcohol was finally starting to get to him. Wow. The guy that had bumped his shoulder was kind of hot, and, judging by the way he was looking at Lucas, the bump hadn’t been an accident.

“Sorry,” the boy said anyway, but he didn’t look it. “I don’t think I’ve seen you before. I’m Jackson, you?”

“Lucas,” Lucas replied.

“Lucas.” The boy mulled over the name a minute before smiling. “It suits you. Would you like to dance, Lucas?”

Not the way you want to, Lucas thought to himself. There were worse things in the world than dancing with a pretty boy, of course, but then again, Jackson wasn’t even that pretty. Not like Eliott or something.

What the fuck Lucas? He couldn’t just go around thinking about Eliott being attractive, pretty. Where the hell had that even come from?

Sure, Eliott was objectively attractive, he would be an idiot not to notice, but Lucas hated him so much that normally this was just another thing to hate. Countless girls would end up falling for his wild hair and pretty eyes, unaware that their attraction had led them into the nest of a snake.

Jackson was still looking at him hopefully, eyes green and bright. “You know what? Sure,” Lucas found himself responding, taking an outstretched hand for the third time that night and allowing himself to be swept away.

They were playing a song he actually knew now, and it was easier for him to dance more ‘normally’, whatever the hell that meant. Yann caught his eye and winked, which made Lucas blush. Jackson noticed Lucas blushing and blushed back, giving Lucas a small twirl. Maybe Arthur had been right, maybe he could pretend to fall in love for a night and let things happen as they so often did when one was young and stupid and drunk.

Lucas was feeling a bit more bold, so he brought his hands up around Jackson’s neck. There were some perks to being short, after all. Jackson blushed even harder at this, leaning closer very hesitantly.

“I think you’re very beautiful Lucas,” Jackson said quietly. Lucas couldn’t find words to respond so he just smiled. Something about it felt real, something about it felt fake. It wasn’t every day a boy called him beautiful, but the flutter in his stomach that should have accompanied an admission like this wasn’t there.

Jackson leaned closer still. “Can I kiss you?”

Lucas found himself nodding, wanting to feel something for a boy that he should have been feeling everything for.

Their lips met softly at first, Jackson letting Lucas take the lead, pull back if he wanted to. He wanted to, and he didn’t. He wanted to be kissed, he realized, but for some reason Jackson wasn’t giving him the kiss he hadn’t known he was longing for.

It wasn’t a bad kiss, quite the contrary, but it didn’t make Lucas feel like he was flying, like he was alive. Granted, Lucas had never had a kiss like that, but he’d hoped it would happen sooner rather than later.

Another thing he realized while kissing Jackson was that he couldn’t do the one-time hookup thing. Maybe it worked for other people, but he couldn’t just be intimate like that with someone with no sort of follow up. It was all or nothing, something that kind of carried over to his life as a dancer as well.

Having a boyfriend would probably be nice, but Lucas couldn’t stand the ‘talking’ phase, wondering if a person actually likes you or if they’re just being nice or if they just want one thing from you, so he’d settled for nothing at all, not even bothering to try to look. As far as he knew, Arthur was the only boy in his year that wasn’t straight anyway and that was just too weird to think about, so what was the point in trying? Looking elsewhere was impossible, he was too involved in ballet to care about anything outside it.

He was vaguely aware that he and Jackson were still kissing.

They broke apart after an eternity and Lucas was met by a look of utter adoration. Jackson really was beautiful himself, but if being looked at like that couldn’t stir something inside Lucas, this whole thing was fruitless. He blinked and when he opened his eyes again he was staring right at Eliott again, who was staring back.

The expression Eliott wore wasn’t as blank as it had been before, but Lucas still couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. Not that he wanted to.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Lucas said abruptly. Jackson blinked, then smiled.

“Do you want me to come with?” he asked.

Lucas laughed and hoped it didn’t sound as harsh as it felt in his mind. “No, no. I actually really have to piss.”

“I see,” Jackson laughed, releasing Lucas, “See you in a bit?”

Lucas couldn’t force himself to answer, choosing instead to smile before rushing off to the bathroom. Once inside he caught a look at himself in the mirror and was struck dumb by the sight. He didn’t look great, to say the least. The bags around his eyes looked deeper than they had been an hour before, his hair was disheveled from Jackson running his hands through it, and his eyes looked wide and shocked.

He’d barely locked eyes with the mirror longer than a few seconds before he was bent over the toilet bowl, spilling everything he’d drank back out the way it came. He hated vomiting, hated it so much.

There was something about the lack of control he felt with his head in the toilet that made him begin to shake, barely able to breathe between spurts of throwing up, tears starting to stream down his cheeks involuntarily. The shaking wouldn’t stop and he was barely able to grip the toilet seat properly, almost banging his heat on it when his hands slipped. He allowed himself to collapse face down on the floor, curled into a fetal position on the mat in front of the toilet, silently screaming inside his mind.

He felt like he was in one of those dreams where something is chasing you and you open your mouth to scream but nothing comes out or you move your legs to run but stay in place. He blinked quickly and frequently, trying to figure out if his vision was actually spotting or if he was just blinking so much it seemed that way.

He didn’t know how much longer he stayed on the floor like that, lungs screaming for breaths he couldn’t take properly, mind screaming at him for being so stupid as to allow himself to get drunk to the point of vomiting in the first place. Had he even been that drunk? He didn’t think so, he could still stand straight and think straight for the most part.

When he finally felt like he could possibly sit up, seeing more than just blurs of darkness at last, he took a deep breath, grunting into a seated position. He rested his head back against the wall and pulled his knees up to ground himself further. His phone lit up beside him and he saw that it was past midnight, which meant that the casting had to be up by then. He’d been so preoccupied with the façade of normalcy he’d forgotten what he had put on the façade for.

Immediately, he was sober, all remnants of everything that had just happened clearing from his system. Indeed, when he checked his email, there was a message from the director with the cast list. He closed his eyes before clicking on it, praying to any deities that might be listening.

SWAN LAKE CAST LIST

ODETTE - MANON DEMISSY

PRINCE SIEGFRIED - ELIOTT DEMAURY

BARON VON ROTHBART - SOFIANE ALAOUI

ODILE - MANON DEMISSY

BENNO VON SOMMERSTERN- YANN CAZAS

WOLFGANG - JULIAN DAHL

QUEEN MOTHER - DAPHNÉ LECOMTE

CYGNETS - EMMA BORGÈS, INGRID SPIELMAN, CHLOÉ FARGE-JEANSON, IMANE

BAKHELLAL

CORPS DE BALLET* - EMMA BORGÈS, IMANE BAKHELLAL, ARTHUR BROUSSARD, MARIA LANIER, LUCAS LALLEMANT, INGRID SPIELMAN, SARAH BUI, CHLOÉ FARGE-JEANSON, VALERIE THOMAS, JACQUELINE PAGE, LEIA BISSET, CHANTAL MARCHAND

UNDERSTUDY TO ODETTE/ODILE - IMANE BAKHELLAL

UNDERSTUDY TO PRINCE SIEGFRIED - LUCAS LALLEMANT

UNDERSTUDY TO BARON VON ROTHBART - ARTHUR BROUSSARD

*Some dancers in the corps may be selected for secondary roles to be established during rehearsals; understudies will be expected to practice alongside their counterparts for the majority of the rehearsals, filling spots in the corps only once they have perfected the roles they understudy.

REHEARSAL SCHEDULES WILL BE IN YOUR INBOXES BY 23:59 SUNDAY NIGHT.

Lucas’ phone fell from his hands in a dull clatter. He’d failed. An understudy. An understudy. Eliott’s understudy. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and he didn’t stop them from falling. He’d earned these tears, would let them flow freely as they wished until he had to return to the party and pretend his dreams hadn’t been crushed once again.

He was unsurprised by Manon’s role, and happy for Yann. Yann was never really singled out either, so this would probably come as a welcome surprise to him. Julian must have been the dancer from the year below them that had made it into the show, so Lucas didn’t totally know what to think about that yet. Arthur was an understudy, just like him, but he didn’t think Arthur would be too upset about it. There was no possibility of Sofiane having to back out from his role, so Arthur would just have more free time on his hands. Imane was in a similar situation to Lucas, but she was also one of the cygnets, performing the famous ‘Little Swans’ pas de quatre, so she’d get an opportunity to shine regardless.

His phone was buzzing continually, filling with messages from Yann, Arthur, and Manon. He didn’t bother to read any of them, knowing they all held condolences and not wanting to deal with it. Turning his phone on silent, then turning it off completely, he slowly made his way to standing, bracing himself up against the counter as he looked directly into the mirror again.

The tears were gone from his face, but there was a hollow look in his eyes that everyone would see right through. He splashed a bit of water on his face and forced a smile, trying to look every bit as nonchalant as he would be expected to look. He could fall apart in the privacy of this bathroom, but he couldn’t be a sore loser out amongst the throngs of people. From their point of view, he was probably lucky to be an understudy. At least he’d get to practice for the role he’d dreamed of, right?

Stumbling back out into the party, the low lighting made it difficult to see at first, which made for a good excuse when he pretended not to see Yann, Arthur, and Basile huddled together in conversation. It was improbable that they were talking about the casting, but it was hard for him to think that they weren’t. Maybe he was just being narcissistic, but it felt like everyone there was looking at him with pity. He had to get out of there.

Jackson caught his eye and smiled, raising one eyebrow suggestively, but Lucas ignored him, brushing past without a word towards the door. He cast one last glance around the room before leaving, gaze landing on a pair of eyes he hadn’t realized he’d been searching to find.

Eliott looked at him not like he’d won, and Lucas had lost, but like he understood exactly what Lucas was feeling in that moment. It was unnerving, but Lucas couldn’t look away. Something passed between the two of them, something that Lucas might have considered further if he hadn’t been completely defeated. Lucas finally broke the stare, looking down at his feet before glancing back up to find that Eliott was still looking at him. It felt like they could communicate without words again like they used to. Are you ok?

No, Lucas wasn’t ok, but he found himself nodding. Eliott gave him a small smile that should have been infuriating, but it was comforting. It was a true testament to how out of it he was that he didn’t feel disgusted by the fact that he’d found comfort in Eliott’s smile. Maybe he would tomorrow, but for tonight, it was exactly what he needed. Thank you.

Lucas barely had time to register the surprise in Eliott’s eyes before he was out the door, wandering aimlessly through the streets until he found his way back to school. If he stopped on the way home to scream and punch a fence, bloodying his hand to the point of tears, he didn’t have the mind to care. If he collapsed onto his bed without setting an alarm to wake up to work out in the morning, he didn’t give a shit. Let lives of perfection be left to those who had earned it.

#skam france #elu fic #elu ballet au #elu #lucas lallemant #eliott demaury

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emoboijk · 6 years ago

Text

MYG | Lo-Fi Beats (03)

Lo-Fi: an aesthetic of recorded music in which the sound quality is lower than the usual contemporary standards so that imperfections of the recording and production are audible.—fluff, angst, idol!au

prologue :: 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 :: 06 :: epilogue

1,065 words

p.cred

You arrived at the door to Yoongi’s studio at 7:47 PM, punched in the key code you’d memorized and maneuvered the door open while juggling two large bags of chicken.

“What are you doing here?” He didn’t look up from his computer screen. He knew it was you because you were the only person who: one, knew the passcode and two, was unafraid to use it. (One time, right after the Blood, Sweat, and Tears comeback, Yoongi hadn’t come out of his studio for nearly 24 hours and a manager used the code to get in and check on him...the results weren’t pretty).

“It’s past 7:30, Yoongs - have you had anything today besides that cocoa and some coffee?”

“Fuck, is it really? ” Yoongi rubbed his eyes and turned around in his chair. He ran his fingers through his hair, “I had some water.”

“I brought chicken,” you held up the bags for him to see, and moved to sit at your favorite spot on his couch.

He sighed and stood from his chair, moving slowly across the small room toward you. You leaned over and unpacked the bags as he sat down close to you, his thigh touching yours. Out of habit he leaned against you and said, his voice brimming with love and gratitude and exhaustion, “You’re the best.”

“Yes,” you agreed, holding out a pair of chopsticks to him, “But I won’t feed you, so get up.”

It took less than thirty minutes for Yoongi to devour nearly half of the food. You reached up to wipe a crumb from his chin affectionately, “You shouldn’t starve yourself.”

He shrugged and reached for another piece of chicken, “I don’t do it on purpose. I’m just busy.”

You frowned. You respected his art, loved his art, but you thought there should be a limit to how far he would push himself for it. It was one of the only things you both consistently disagreed on. But you weren’t in the mood to chastise him, he was an adult, after all, he can take care of himself. Instead, you changed the subject.

“So, who was Mr. Heebie-Jeebies? From earlier?”

Yoongi chuckled and swallowed the chicken in his mouth before replying. “Daniel Ito. I guess he’s a big-time producer in Japan? He’s half Japanese, half American.”

You furrowed your brow, “What’s he doing here?”

“He made an offer to Joon and me.”

“An offer?”

Yoongi nodded. He’d been putting off telling you all day because he knew that you would want him to take the opportunity, and he was afraid of how much that might hurt him. He took another second before he couldn’t put it off any longer, “He knows that our contracts with Big Hit are expiring soon, so he made an offer to sign us with a company in Japan. A company that gets lots of international attention.”

“Woah, what?”

“Yeah. He offered us a ton of money, a contract that would allow us to keep working with BigHit, luxury apartments in Tokyo, creative freedom...”

“Oh,” you nodded. “What did you say?”

“No,” he said nonchalantly, taking another piece of chicken.

“What? Why? That’s an amazing opportunity.”

He shrugged like he hadn’t just turned down a multi-million dollar contract, “Well, I had to stay in Seoul.”

“What for?” you furrowed your brow.

“I mean the boys are here, I’m not ready to give up on BTS. I don’t think I ever will be.” He looked at the ground and fidgeted with his hands. He was nervous.

“Well, you all are going to have to take a break soon, right? Seokjinie is about to enlist, and Japan is pretty close, you could come back for projects.” You were trying to convince him, you could hear yourself trying. It was an amazing opportunity, a way to get his name even further out there, to get him the success and recognition he had always deserved. You were ignoring the sharp pain in your stomach that came at the thought of him leaving; but, it wasn’t about you.

He looked at you, wide-eyed like when you were kids, “But you’re here.” He furrowed his brow like he had said something Earth-shattering. And maybe he had because your heart was beating like a jack-hammer, your mind racing through the implications of that statement.

“Yes...” you said slowly, letting his sentence ferment in your mind.

Yoongi looked at the ground and in a voice smaller than you thought he was capable of, said, “You’re my best friend...I don’t think I can live without you.” He looked up again, and his expression was so serious that it made your breath stop in your chest.

“Yoongi,” you whispered, your hand finding his atop his knee and squeezing his fingers, “You will never have to live without me. I’m—” yours, you would’ve finished, but your phone rang suddenly. A harsh sound compared to the soft whisperings of your conversation. Instead, you flinched and said, “Sorry,” twisting to retrieve your phone from your bag.

“Hello?” you said, the irritation in your voice less than hidden.

“Hello.” You’d only heard the voice once, but you immediately knew who it was. Daniel Ito. Your brow furrowed, and Yoongi tilted his head in question. “I need to speak with you.”

“Excuse me?” you said. Who did this guy think he was?

“About a potential contract. I’m sure Yoongi-ssi has mentioned it to you by now.”

His voice was like a knife being sharpened against stone, and it unsettled you. How did he know Yoongi would tell you about the opportunity? Why did you get the feeling he knew even more than that?

“Yes,” you said.

“I’m still interested in working with him, and I’m sure you want what’s best for him, maybe you can give me some ideas on how to win him over.”

Your mouth was open, but you didn’t know what to say. You looked over to Yoongi, who was watching you with curiosity and a trace of concern. You already knew you would do absolutely anything for him, as long as it was in his best interests.

“Okay,” you said, nodding even though he couldn’t see you.

“Wonderful,” he said, and the sound is almost sinister, “Let’s meet on those benches by the river tomorrow at 9:30. And let’s not bring Yoongi, hmm?” And then the line went dead.

author’s note—cue dramatic music ;)

04: blackmail ↝

for more of my works check out my m.list

#bts #rosynamjoon #hyunglinenetwork #bangtanbuds #bts x reader #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #suga #yoongi #min yoongi

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