#i think one of my favorite being when he said esther could ruin his life and he'd thank her for it 😭😭

[not-the-living-ghost]

DANNY MOTTA MADE A REACTION VIDEO REACTING TO DEAD BOY DETECTIVES!!

If you don't know who Danny is, he's a popular YouTuber who reacts to fun TV shows — I know him most from his series in which he reacted to Good Omens. He has a very large platform, so boosting videos like this will help a ton with introducing DBDA to a wider audience. Plus, he is incredibly funny and I thoroughly enjoyed watching his reaction, so go help the show out and watch his video!!

It is worth noting that he's only reacted to Episode 1 so far. But he has made it clear that he'll be sure to react to more if there is a demand for it. So please please please, go like, comment, and make the fandom heard!

[rere-the-writer]

hey!! If it’s not too much to ask, could I request a kol x reader where the reader is a witch and a doppelgänger? Like somehow the reader and Elena are both doppelgängers, but after Klaus broke the curse the reader was able to live a fairly normal life in New Orleans, that is until Esther comes back. Maybe because of Klaus’ presence in Nola the reader has allied with Marcel for protection, resulting in her befriending Davina and encountering the newly resurrected kol? Kol attacks her when he sees her because he thinks she’s Elena, but when she overpowers him with her magic he realizes she’s not Elena. They eventually become friends and start to develop feelings for each other maybe? I hope that isn’t too specific. I really just would like something a little angsty and fluffy with witch! Kol. I really admire your work. It’s very uplifting and comforting, especially, your kol content. He’s my comfort character but I’ve exhausted the supply of fluffy kol fics 😅 Thanks! Make sure to take care of yourself, love ❤️

I'm glad you like my Kol. Time for some fluff for my baby boy.

Warnings- Fluff, Kol be simpin', A bit of angsty

You had been living in New Orleans for a year now to be away from Katherine and Elena as you were a different doppelganger and still carried the Petrova family name. You were a powerful witch and didn't care that Elena was like your long distance cousin because of the bloodline you shared.

Once you had heard Klaus was spotted in Mystic Falls, much to Elena's disappointment you got the hell out of dodge not wanting to be used by the Original as you knew your family's history with the Mikaelsons. Marcel had took you under his wing much like Davina as you help teach the younger witch to control her magic.

You were angry that your life had been fucked over because of Katherine but after Klaus broke his curse you were able to life a normal life in New Orleans that was until a pregnant wolf and Esther coming back.

"The Originals are in town be careful." Marcel told you knowing if Klaus knew of another doppelganger you would be in danger. But Elijah knew about you as he came to you about Davina and you managed to tell him she wasn't a threat.

"So your family has history with the Mikaelsons?"

"You could say that De."

You could feel Esther's magic as it was heavy in the air even more after Davina told you she brought back Kol. It happened in a blur you were held against a wall by your thoat.

"You killed me litt...." Kol was cut off holding his head as you looked down at Kol with a glare as your hand was in a fist.

"I am not Elena, vampire." You growled as Kol felt like his head was on fire as the pain was unbearable. Kol could see that you may have the same face as Elena, your hair was cut short and curled as you got tired of people mistaken you for Elena or Katherine.

"I see....that....now....you're a powerful....witch." Kol panted as you let him go and Kol couldn't help but stare at you. You were attractive and Kol cursed to hisself now seeing what his brother's saw in the Petrova women.

"And you are annoying Kol Mikaelson."

"Forgive me but I don't know your name."

"And you won't." You say walking away leaving Kol laying there as he got up before deciding to ask Elijah.

"You ran into Y/N Petrova?" Elijah questioned his younger brother putting down his book catching Klaus's attention. Kol had got to Elijah to see if he knew anything and was glad.

"Yes so she is a doppelganger?"

"Yes, it surprised Niklaus when Katherine threw her under the bus. Y/N is the last pure blood Petrova witch." Elijah says as Klaus smirking sitting down remembering when he found you on the third day of him being New Orleans. Unlike Katherine and Elena, you didn't fear Klaus as proven when you made his heart stop when he tried taking you from Marcel.

"She is a little feisty witch. Rebekah likes her better than Katherine and Elena which is saying something."

"Oh?" Kol said standing smirking as Elijah and Klaus knew that smirk this crazy boy was going to try to date you.

"Be care Kol. If Marcellus doesn't kill you then she will."

When you got a call from Klaus saying he needed a powerful witch to weaken the hybrids under mother's control you thought he would talk to Davina.

'I need a Petrova witch love.' Was what Klaus told you and you walked into the compound annoyed when Kol smirked following you up stairs.

"Any plans this weekend?"

"Non of your business." You said annoyed hoping that Kol would have lost interest in you by now but the wildest Mikaelson just fell harder with every name calling and magic sent his way.

"Maybe I could take you out."

"No." You told him glaring but it didn't stop Kol from trying to ask you out or buying you flowers and gifts.

"De! I AM IN LOVE WITH AN IDIOT!" You shouted one morning scaring Davina when you came into your shared apartment. You founded yourself falling for Kol which to you was an idiot and didn't know why. You spent the day ranting to Davina that you couldn't love Kol because he was a Mikaelson and you were a Petrova.

"Hello darling."

"What do you want idiot?" You asked working on a spell to help Elijah when Kol had came over and stepped up behind you. You looked up at Kol and your breathing hitched seeing how close he was and your eyes flickered to his lips.

"I was....hoping that...you would finally. " Kol muttered leaning in as your cheeks flushed moving in also and his lips were on yours. The kiss was explosive as sparks flew and you moan against his mouth kissing back.

"Does this mean you like me and we can see one another?" Kol asked sounding unsure his cheeks tinted red as you smiled softly for the first time since he met you.

"Yeah, you goof." You whispered as Kol brighen kissing you again and let out a whine when you pulled away.

"I need to finish this spell." You tell him letting the vampire cling to you watching you work.

It didn't take Marcel and the other Mikaelsons to notice that Kol and you were seeing one another a lot more. You had managed to mellow Kol out as he now turned all of his focus on you. But one thing you and he agreed on was not tell anyone that he proposed eight months into your relationship as you both didn't know how Klaus would react.

"Cute place."

"What do you want Katherine? I thought you didn't want to be anywhere near Nik?" You questioned walking in to your apartment seeing Katherine sitting in a chair drinking your good wine.

"You cut your hair."

"What do you want?" You asked glaring as your magic was stirring up as Katherine huffed before spotting the engagement ring on your hand.

"You're engaged?"

"Yes now Katherine what do you want?!"

"Fine....I need help and you are the only powerful witch I know. Elena had turned off her humanity and I know you have a spell to get her to turn it on."

"Since when did you care about Elena?" You questioned pulling out your grimoire as Katherine watched you huffing sipping her wine.

"The brothers are boring and all angsty over it. It is annoying but I hear you and Kol are a thing."

"That is non of your business." You tell her getting to work then dropped a small bottle in her hand.

"Have Elena drink that it'll compel her to turn it back on." You tell Katherine as she smirked thanking you before leaving and while she was at it sent a text to Klaus that you were engaged to Kol.

Klaus was angry when he learned of you and Kol ever more angry when learning that Kol was going move out of the city with you after your marriage. In Klaus's eyes you were taking what was his while both Rebekah and Elijah was happy for Kol.

"Go warn her. I'll hold Niklaus back." Elijah told Kol hearing Klaus growled throwing things. Kol was quick to head to your place which smiled brightly seeing him walking in.

"So what kind of cake....Kol are you okay?" You asked seeing how terrified your future husband looked. Kol cupped your face tearing up as if to commit your face to memory.

"Nik knows and is coming for you....you need to run and hopefully he'll calm down and we can marry."

"Kol.....I....don't want....to live...like Katherine had.....please don't." You whimpered as he kissed you gently and helped you pack. That night after using magic to hide your tracks, Kol went to blows with Klaus while Katherine suffered at the hand of Elijah when he learned the vampire was the one to ruin Kol's slice of happiness.

"Come on Elijah, the little witch could use so....." Katherine was cut off when Elijah slammed her against a wall hand warped around her thoat.

"If Y/N dies in the hands of Niklaus, I will not be merciful Katerina."

Four years you were on the run visiting Kol's favorite places which made you feel closer to the Original while learning new magic's getting stronger. You sat in your London flat watching the snow falling gently while unconsciously playing with your engagement ring while thinking about Kol.

"Darling can you let me in?" You heard Kol ask making you rush to the door tearing it open letting him. You jumped up into his arms kissing him deeply pulling a deep moan from Kol.

"You're here! Oh my god I missed you. Never again idiot." You said inbetween kisses as Kol smiled looking up at you with adoration.

"I missed you too darling. You did a better job at hiding than Katherine."

"Wait.! But Klaus?"

"It took three years but Elijah and Rebekah calmed him then I spent a year looking for you." Kol said kissing you again as he took you to your bed relearning one another's body.

"You kept it."

"Yeah....ask me again." You tell him taking the ring off as Kol slipped out of your bed getting on one knee.

"Please marry me? You gorgeous, beautiful woman that I would be honored to be her husband."

"Yes....a thousands times yes." You said tears falling as Kol smiled putting the ring back on your hand. Kol rushed up kissing you again as you both fell back into the bed.

"I love you, my beloved."

"I love you too, Kol." You whispered back as you both finally got to be happy.

[koscheimaryas]

send me a ship yada yada + dexther

send me a ship and i’ll tell you ─ starring esther and declan

where was their first date?: that might still be up to debate, since esther has already lost count of how many casual first encounters she and declan had before starting to actually go out together. the one that is still the most vivid in her mind, however, is the memory of making plans to see him in a party alpha would throw, the one they hadn’t even bothered attending before sneaking off to get to his kombi.

what my muse would do to cheer yours up: declan always has the worst mood downpours when stressful things happen and there’s little he can do about it. over the months, esther learned how to deal with those by forcing him out of his misery state by talking to him, coming up with new things and places for them to visit and absolutely anything where she could actively help by being there for him. but just like herself would say, there’s nothing like sex to lighten up one’s mood.

who wakes the other up with kisses (and where)?: since declan is the early riser, he’s usually the one to wake esther up with neck kisses, all the way up to one shoulder before she’s out of her sleep and perfectly ready to retribute him by doing what she does best. 

who would pour water on the other to wake them up?: esther, probably, since she’s just oh so funny. it would be one of the worst pranks ever since both sleep in the same bed, but her boyfriend’s pissed reaction would be absolutely priceless.

how my muse would wake your’s up: she’d probably spend a good 10 minutes just staring dreamily at declan’s soft, relaxed expressions that prove that he’s far, far away in sleepland. she’d then proceed to pepper kisses all over his face, her fingertips tracing his skin and pretty much anything that she can get her hands on before he wakes up and throws her off her own game.

who would start a food fight while baking or cooking?: esther would playfully smear some flour on his face and end up dirtying one of his ten thousand black t-shirts. he’d do the same. next thing they see, it is food war I and no one’s safe from the mess they made in their kitchen.

who would suggest putting marijuana in the brownies?: esther, obviously. she’d bring up the subject once and after any of his slightest agreements she’d put the task into gear. they’d probably end up feeling sleepy as fuck and collapse on top of each other for 12 hours. 

who said i love you first and how (or when) did they say it?: declan gave a hint about it first, back in the camp trip their university had prepared. esther almost ruined everything by trying to do it through texts, but later that night, at the fireworks exposition, declan brought her close and said it first.

who would get into a physical altercation over the other?: esther would, for literally any reason she could find to justify it. it would probably be because of jealousy.

who insists on purchasing a pet together (and what kind of pet?): both really wanted a dog since way before they even moved in together. hannibal, their big, stupid and maddening dog, is the best thing that happened in their lives. he makes a mess out of their loft and eats his fair share of shoes and clothes, but he’s still the most beloved pet.

who is louder (in and out of bed)?: esther is the one who’s extremely loud in bed, bless her heart. it really is all because of declan’s doing, though. out of it, however, they’re both pretty much quiet people, esther’s exceptions happening when she’s got two or three drinks in her system.

who takes more risks (in and out of bed)?: they both like to try out new things whenever the subject is brought up, but esther’s probably the one who does it first. she just knows he will be on board with whatever she suggests, anyway.

who would bring up the word ‘daddy’ first?: none of them, since they find that the daddy kink is a very disgusting kink to have. when discussing the subject once, through text, esther innocently asked if declan had a daddy kink, and then proceeded to never think about the idea of it again.

what is their shared, favourite kink?: anything aboard the bdsm train is their go-to choice, mostly bondage and making good use of their dominant/submissive roles. there’s no need to wonder about who’s playing what: esther’s the little sub bitch through and through.

describe their typical kiss: it is usually the maddeningly slow one, the one that’s deepened as each second ticks by, which ends up becoming way more than just a kiss, since they can’t help themselves as soon as they’ve got their hands on each other and the slightest bit of privacy. there’s not even the need for privacy, depending on their situation.

how my muse shows their love for yours: esther is constantly finding new ways to show her love for her boyfriend. she loves searching up for new songs that express how they got to know each other, how they got involved, how life’s been a rollercoaster ever since they got together. one of her favorite ways is sharing poems, lines and beautiful things she finds during her days, always the most romantic ones possible. she wonders if there really is something that could ever fully express how stupidly in love she is. 

their favourite ways to give affection: sharing songs and thoughts with each other, touching each other constantly, confessing how they feel on a daily; how even the slightest things make them remember about their moments together and how blissful it is.

who is more dominate?: this is not even up to debate. declan is.

who sings in the shower?: esther is not much of a singer, so it would probably be something that declan does and that’s absolutely out of his context. his song choices must always be any great 2010 punk-rock hit.

who washes the other’s hair in the shower?: esther does, and she simply loves to do it. one of her favorite things ever is feeling his strands between her fingers, no matter the context of it.

who initiates shower sex despite being in a rush?: that is probably a conjoined idea that they put to the greatest use, no matter how late they end up being. esther will tease him first, try to get away with it and then realize how hopeless that would be as soon as he puts his mind to making her suffer.

who teases the other under the table at dinner with the family?: esther does, and she thinks it’s the funniest thing ever to watch declan squirm as he tries to maintain a conversation with his mother, since they don’t really visit her own family. his mom probably even knows what must be going on in the places her eyes can’t reach.

who has the weirder taste in music?: they’re both avid music consumers, but esther went through more phases during her life, even dipping her toes in the reggaeton pool once. declan likes his alternative rock better, no matter how doubtful his choices are every once in a while.

who would initiate dancing in the rain?: declan would twirl her around the street first and she would take it upon her to get them waltzing until they’re back home, laughing until her cheeks hurt.

who would be the one to suggest marriage?: they both want it so much that it probably was a very conjoined thought. and it might happen soon enough.

what would they name their children?: some nice, simple name for a very sexy child, esther would say. one that would take from something they admire a lot. no, it won’t be ryan ross

who would their children take after more?: declan, probably. their little four-eyed gremlin would be the same as his father, all quiet, brooding and brilliant. he’d get his looks from his mother, though.

[xxwritemeastoryxx]

I’ve Got a Plan

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x Reader, Damon Salvatore x Reader (frenemy)

Requested by: Anon-  Okay I don't know if you're taking requests but I've been listening to Billie Eilish's Bad Guy on repeat all day and I cant stop seeing a whole scenario. Reader is trying to get Elijah to see shes into him but he's either oblivious or unwilling so she goes and parties/dances (suggestively?) with Damon and then jealousy kicks in. The thirst is real and I love protective/jealous Elijah.

Word Count: 5.5K

Warnings:  Drinking (Alcohol and a bit of blood), jealousy, possessiveness, thoughts of killing a character, you know the usual XD 

Author’s Note: Y’all, this got away from me. I wasn’t expecting to write this much for this one, but it happened.  I blame all the ideas that clouded my head once I read the request. I do hope this is what you had in mind Nonnie. Enjoy. 

(Gif Credit goes to rightful owner!)

For a vampire that has been alive for almost 900 years, you knew that most of the emotions that you felt would just be a fleeting moment. Many of which you couldn’t care less about. Love was the only emotion that you tried to not feel. You knew the emotions and the memories that came with it could have long lasting affect if things ever went badly. Especially when life seemed infinite as a vampire. 

It was probably why you had found it easier to keep a hold onto the darker things in life. You thrived as a vampire compared to the helpless human you had been before your death. This new life had changed your perspective on so many things. You made it so that those that knew your name would tremble in fear. You took what you wanted and survived through the centuries doing just that. 

That was until you met a certain Original. For one that was used to causing chaos and destruction in your wake, he made you feel different. The feelings you had told yourself that you would never feel, they dug their way in and it scared you to no end. But you let them in hoping that it wasn’t just you feeling that way. 

No matter what feelings had taken hold within your heart, they no longer mattered in this moment to you. You wanted nothing more than to forget the emotions that went with the name. To forget the memories that went with the face. Just for a few hours anyway. It wasn’t exactly like you can completely forget about the man you had known for more than half your existence.

But you were right there on the edge, about to say to hell with everything. That was obvious with the with the number of refills you had with in the last hour of the glass of whiskey sitting in front of you. It was a chance to drown your sorrows before taking your leave. Because if you didn’t leave, you knew you’d be prone to causing a bit of bloodshed without any care. 

We can't.

Why are you fighting this?

You know why, Y/N. It never ends well and things are better left as they are.

The memory of the words that had been said hours ago played on an endless loop in your mind. If it was possible to hear a heart shatter, it happened in that moment when you stormed out of the Mansion and found yourself headed towards the Mystic Grill.

While you had hoped that it would be almost empty, that way you could ignore what little people were there and get lost in a bottle, it was the opposite. The place was packed with locals. But being the only bar in town, you stayed needing some form of alcohol in your system.

The music was loud and the bass could be felt from the moment you had entered the place. The areas that usually held the tables and chairs, along with the area that held the pool tables, had been converted into the dance floor. The booths left untouched to give space for those that wish to sit or eat. The Grill looked like a completely different place compared to what it looked like yesterday. 

Where you currently sat at the bar, is where you had been for the last few hours. You hadn't minded just sitting there. No one dared to bother you, especially when it only took a bit of compulsion to get them to easily leave you alone. 

You made the decision that tonight would be your last night in Mystic Falls. You felt as though you no longer had any real reason to stay. That your presence would just make things more complicated than it already had been. With the pain that was currently residing in your chest, you figured it would just be better to leave this place behind and move on to somewhere new.

"You look like someone just murdered your pet bunny in front of you." Damon's voice broke the thoughts that had been on a continuous loop in your head.  

Your Y/E/C eyes looked towards him. His signature smirk was plastered on his face as he took a seat next to you. Unlike the rest of the people in this town, you were somewhat friends with Damon. You had been for decades.

"No, but you are very close." You said with a shrug before bringing the glass up to your lips and taking a drink. The alcohol burned your throat as it went down and you welcomed it. Anything to distract you from the hurt.

"Let me guess," He said as he signaled the bartender to bring himself and you a drink. "You're all mopey because one of your diabolical plans to take over the town fell through."

You were by no means one of Mystic Falls’ favorite visiting vampires, that had been obvious. You had killed your fair share of locals during your stay in town the last few months. You’ve been threatened and shot at, but for how old you were, you weren’t easily taken down. Every time they attacked you, you retaliated in some way, causing them to take a step back. 

On a scale of Damon to Klaus in the not giving a damn scale of who you killed, you were right in between them. Okay, maybe closer to the Klaus end of the spectrum if you had to be honest. You could continue to go on as you had, but eventually there would be no one in the town left to do anything. Though once the Mikaelsons began to settle into the town, you were asked to reign in your usual antics by Elijah and Klaus. They didn't exactly want you to ruin the plans they had during their stay in this town.

"Ha!" You scoffed shaking your head. "Guess again." You wished it had been that some scheme of yours had fallen to pieces. Hell you wished it had been anything other than what the real reason was.

Before Damon could even joke around again, he watched as your shoulders slumped the moment the front doors opened. He watched as your eyes seemed to fill with tears before you looked away, hoping the tears wouldn’t escape. When his attention turned towards the door, he watched Elijah and Klaus walk in and make their way towards the opposite corner of the place.

"Ah, I get it now." He said before looking back over at you. "After all the flirting you had been doing the other night at the ball, things didn't go where you thought they would."

You suddenly found the bottom of your glass to be fascinating, not wanting to acknowledge that Damon could just as easily put things together. But then again, when hadn't he? He may have been more of a frenemy to you, but you both knew each other pretty well.

Where you had told him how he should move on from his obsession with Katherine, Damon had always given you advice as well. He just didn't know at the time that he was giving you advice about a certain Original vampire. At least it wasn't until the ball Esther had thrown that Damon had begun putting two and two together.

"He made it very clear that it would be a bad idea." You sighed softly. You hated even thinking about the conversation or how much it got to you. But the words had been said and there was nothing that could be done about them. "After all these years he's still more concerned about what happens to that brother of his than his own happiness.”

“His loss.” He shrugged his shoulders before picking up the glass in front of him and taking a drink. 

While he would usually find the information you were giving him to take down the enemy, this was you he was currently talking to. Damon had very few friends and while the two of you would easily be on opposite sides when it came to the people in this town, you were a friend more or less. He wasn’t going to tell his group of friends that the way to get Elijah to do something was currently sitting next to him. You were his friend first before the others were. 

“It's why I’m leaving town.” You brought your glass up to your lips to finish off the liquid before grabbing the fresh glass that had been placed in front of you. You down the liquid quickly before placing the glass back on the bar. 

“You’re really going to leave town over him?” There was a bit of hurt in his voice that you had picked up on. “Why not stay for a friend?”

A chuckle passed your lips. “Oh Damon, we both know I have a short fuse. My current emotions are playing with that fuse. One wrong move to piss me off and-”

“We’d have a blood bath on our hands because of that lit fuse.” Damon said with a slight nod. 

“Your friends wouldn’t like that very much.” You said with a shrug. “Then again this town could use a change.”

“Don’t even think about it.” A huff passed his lips as he looked over at you. "What made you reign in that lovely personality of yours that I enjoyed so much?"

"What made you reign in yours?" You asked as you gave him a knowing look. 

_____

"Fraternizing with the enemy." Klaus said as he took a seat in the booth. "I must say she's got some guts."

Elijah really didn’t see the point in coming to the Mystic Grill when Klaus had asked him to accompany him. It wasn’t like they enjoyed coming to the place like the rest of the locals did. The awful music that played through the place was enough to make him wish he had stayed back and let Klaus go alone. 

But Klaus had mentioned needing to keep an eye on a particular set of people. Elijah had summed it down to Klaus really only wanting to keep an eye on Caroline. Yet as he looked around, she and her friends were nowhere to be seen.

"They've been friends for decades Niklaus." Elijah said annoyed as he took his seat across from his brother. "Her loyalties have been established upon your decision to move in to the neighborhood."

Klaus laughed and shook his head as he looked towards his brother. "Are you sure those loyalties haven't changed after the lovers spat the two of you had a few hours ago?"

Elijah's stiffened in his spot before looking over towards his brother. While Elijah had believed that the conversation you two had was safe from prying ears, he didn't think his brother would have thought of trying to listen in on it. Yet Klaus was telling him he knew about it. 

"That was a private conversation." He noted almost glaring at Klaus. 

"Oh I wasn't listening in." Klaus said with a shrug. "It's just hard to ignore the fact Y/N looked rather upset leaving. In all the time we’ve known her, I’ve never seen her like that. Pissed off maybe." He shrugged as he looked over at you. “But never like this. I must say, it’s not a good look on her. ”

Elijah sighed as he shook his head. He hated the words that had left his mouth earlier. He wanted nothing more than to return the feelings that you were expressing to him, but he couldn't. He couldn't bring you into this life of his. He saw first hand what happened to the women that he loved. He refused to see the same thing happen to you. 

So he pushed you away. He saw the hurt in your eyes the moment he had said the words. He watched as the light of hope your eyes held had dimmed. He hurt you in a way that he had told himself he never would. 

His attention turned towards you and Damon. He could see the way your head was hanging as you looked at your drink, your finger lightly running along the rim of the glass. Even as you spoke to Damon there was a slight pout on your lips. He wanted nothing more than to get up from his seat and go over there to speak with you. To make sure that things between the two of you were okay. But he fought himself on leaving the very spot he sat in. 

Klaus had been right though. The way you currently looked wasn’t something he was used to seeing on you. Your personality reminded him of a lot of Klaus from time to time. You were ready to take on the world if it meant you got what you wanted. The confidence you usually displayed was nowhere to be seen as you sat at the bar with Damon.

_______

Damon shook his head slightly as he looked over towards where Klaus and Elijah currently were. While it was only for a moment, he couldn't tell what it was that they were doing there. But if the party that was going around them was any indication, they might have been there to enjoy it as well.

It was when Damon’s attention turned back to you that an idea came to his mind. He just had to get you to agree to it without giving you details. "What if I told you there was a way to get him to change his mind about the whole thing?”

You rolled your eyes. "What are you going to do? Go over there and convince him to be with me, I highly doubt that would work."

A smirk grew on Damon's face as he stood from his seat. He held out his hand towards you. Your eyebrow rose as you looked at him do so. With the slight tilt of his head gesturing the dance floor you began shaking your head at him.

"No, not happening." You protested before reaching for your glass, disappointed to find it empty, again.

"Just trust me on this." The smirk had disappeared on his face, leaving a small smile. "I've got a plan."

You eyed him for a moment before finally nodding. While you had no idea what this plan of his was, there was a part of you that was all for it. It wasn't like anything could get any worse than they already were. 

The moment you placed your hand in his, Damon pulled you up from your seat and lead you to the dance floor. As he did, you swore you could feel eyes on you the whole time. But you didn't want to look around to find the source. Not that you had to, you just knew that it was Elijah.

As you reached an open spot, Damon had began to dance to the music that had been playing through the speakers. You had stood there to yourself, not really sure if you were in the mood to dance.

"Come on, Y/N!" He said as he grabbed your other hand trying to get you to dance with him.

A laugh passed your lips as you shook your head. Giving in you began dancing with him. It didn't take long for you to enjoy yourself a bit. Your hips moved with the beat of the music. Damon spun you around for a second before bringing you back to him, your back against his front as the music changed.

With the song change the lights changed with it. What was once a slightly dimmed place, grew to almost darkness. The bar lights and strobe lights giving off some resemblance of light throughout the place. The place signalling that it was now free of anyone under the age of eighteen, causing to the party goers to erupt in cheers for a moment.

____

"You're staring." Klaus's voice carried to Elijah, who had been getting a kick out of watching his brother fight himself over wanting to go over to where you were.

Elijah would have argued that he wasn't staring, that he had simply been observing. Knowing his brother, he would have said it was pretty much the same thing. From the moment he had watched you take Damon's hand, he hadn't stopped watching. It was one thing for you to talk to his least favorite person at the moment, it was another for you to go and dance with him. The sight alone made his blood begin to boil.

"She is free to do as she wishes." Elijah said never taking his eyes off you. Though he meant the words, they really didn’t sound convincing to either of them. 

"You know you could always go over there and get her attention." Klaus said with a smug look on his face. He may have not understood why the two of you had been fighting, but he knew Elijah cared for you. He had been close friends with you to see you cared for his brother as well. "Although she does seem pretty content right where she is at."

Klaus's words had caused Elijah's jaw to tick as his eyes never left the both of you. He had watched as a laugh passed your lips every now and then at something Damon said, the way you danced against Damon, as his hands moved up along your sides.

Elijah had never believed himself to be the jealous type. But there in that moment, as he sat there watching, he wanted nothing more than to rip Damon’s heart out just for touching you as he was. His eyes narrowed as he watched Damon whisper something in your ear before a smirk pulled at your lips and you nodded your head. 

That smirk that played on your lips was one that he was all to familiar with. While he couldn’t see your eyes in that moment, he knew they held a devilish gleam that always came with that smirk. Anytime that smirk came into play, it wasn’t long after that you would find yourself at the head of some chaos being caused. 

_____

Damon's plan had finally made sense to you. While you never voiced your realization, Damon saw when you put it all together. The grin that played on his lips was enough to make you laugh. But it made sense as to why he didn't tell you right off the back. You either would still be drinking the bar away, or someone might of overheard the conversation and the whole thing would have fallen apart.

The whole time you had been with in Elijah's eyesight. And while you would have normally threatened Damon for some his hand placements, or the occasional feel of his lips on your neck, you knew it was actually harmless. You and Damon had never crossed the line with each other and you doubt you ever would. 

For the last few minutes Damon had been trying to convince you to share a drink with him. Not of the alcohol variety of drinks that currently sat behind the bar just a few feet away from you, but the drink that could easily be obtained by the surrounding bodies that were dancing close. 

At first you had protested the idea. You had made a promise that you wouldn’t do anything to the locals. How Damon had even suggested it had made you curious at how he was suggesting knowing he would hear it from the others as well. But it was what Damon had just whispered into your ear that had your smirking and agreeing to the very idea. 

“You’re the bad guy, remember. Plus if he is going to continue to just watch and not do anything, it’s not going to hurt to have a little fun on your last night in town.” His lips had been right there by your ear as he spoke, his hands sliding lower on your waist. “Plus, when is the next time we’ll get a chance to party together?”

The words were dangerous. You knew that the moment you heard them. But the way the words appealed to your darker side, it had you agreeing in an instant. For weeks you had held back. Tonight there was nothing stopping you from doing what you want if you were on your way out.

Damon had left your side for only a moment. He came back with a woman he had 'invited' to dance with the both of you. At first you had only danced with her, making her feel comfortable with dancing with someone she hardly knew. You and the stranger had danced the duration of the current song before Damon had pulled the both of you towards him.

A laugh passed both of your lips as he did. The woman had been trapped between the both of you. You watched as Damon had placed his hands on her face, compelling her. Her head tilted to the side slightly and you watched as Damon had bit into her.

Brushing her hair away from the other side of her neck, you felt your mouth water at the thought of the blood that lay just under the surface. Even the scent of blood that came from the wound Damon had created was enough to say to hell with everything. You could easily feel the veins move along the skin under your eyes.

You weren't sure if it was the continuous feeling of being watched or that you knew if you looked up from the crowd that surrounded you that you'd see Elijah in your line of sight, but that is exactly what you did. You could see the way his eyes narrowed as he watched you. From there you could see the way his fist was clenched and see the tick of his jaw while Klaus sat across from him with a smug look on his face as he turned to look towards his brother.

It was the first time you actually looked at Elijah longer than a second since he walked in the door. While earlier you hated the thought of him seeing you while you drowned in your self pity, now it was different. The darker side of you wanted to see the look on his face as you fed from the human in front of you. The darker part of you was practically screaming that his words wouldn’t have a hold on you if you didn’t care. That this was who you were and Elijah knew that.  A smirk pulled at your lips, showing the tips of your fangs as you gave him a wink before leaning your head towards the woman's neck.  

Your fangs barely reached her neck before you felt someone grab a hold of you and pinned you against the far back wall. You were away from the crowd of people and if anyone happened to look this way, it would look like you two were simply talking. Your smirk returned to your face as you looked up at Elijah. Damon’s plan worked. You thought as you looked up at him.

"Something the matter Elijah?" You asked knowing very well what was wrong. 

"What do you think you are doing?" There was a mix of concern and anger mixed in his voice. He couldn’t believe that you would go and feed in a public place such as this. Especially when the town already had multiple reasons to kill you. One wrong move and that would be it. 

"Enjoying myself." You shrugged your shoulders. It wasn't like you actually did anything. If he had waited any longer you would have. “Is that not what one does when coming to a party?”

"Are you not in the least bit worried that this could have been a ploy to get you killed?"

A laugh passed your lips. "Like little Elena Gilbert would put a local through what was about to happen just to kill me. I would have expected something if it had been someone they knew." A thought crossed your mind. "If you had actually paying attention while you were watching, Damon had compelled her and then drank from her first ensuring her blood was clean of any vervain."

The mere mention of Damon had Elijah narrowing his eyes at you again. You weren't stupid. You knew what buttons to press when the moment called for it. You also weren't oblivious. You knew from the moment you looked over at him before attempting to bite into the woman that Elijah had been jealous. 

You've known Elijah for centuries. You probably knew him a whole lot better than his siblings did. The face he currently wore as he had you pressed against the wall had been jealousy. While Elijah didn't get jealous often, you knew what it looked like on him. And boy did you enjoy seeing it in the moment. 

“That doesn’t mean he does not have some plan in place.” He needed to hear something. Anything that would confirm that Damon was against you. Anything that would give him the green light to rip Damon’s heart out without a second thought. 

“No ulterior motive this time. Just to have some fun and live a little.” You shrugged slightly. “While I would have just been fine with drinking through the bar’s supply, Damon just happened to be there to encourage the fun.” You swore you heard a growl coming from him. It had been mixed in with the music that had been playing, but it wasn’t hard to miss with your hearing. “What’s wrong Elijah?” The smile on your face never leaving your face. “Hate that I’m enjoying myself Damon?”

“I’d prefer if you spent your time with someone else.” He said as he watched you. The smile on your face as you taunted him with the fact that you had just been spending time with Damon was driving him crazy. It was fueling the jealousy he had already been feeling. You weren’t exactly helping the situation. It was clear to him you knew exactly what you were doing. 

“And who exactly should I be spending my time with?” Part of you said you should keep your mouth shut after the question passed your lips. But the other part of you was still upset about earlier that didn’t care if anything you say is hurtful. “The person I wanted to spend my time with tonight told me he thought it was a bad idea for us to be together. So why stick around for that?”

While it only lasted for a second, you had seen hurt flash in Elijah’s eyes. “He clearly wasn’t thinking you’d run into the arms of Damon Salvatore after telling you that.” This time a growl left your lips at his words. 

“I didn’t run into his arms.” You said placing a hand on his chest to push him away, but he didn’t budge. “If you want to see running into someone’s arms, I can damn well show you what that looks like, Elijah.” 

While you really had no idea who’s arms you’d actually run into as he had suggested, you wanted to get away from Elijah for a moment. To get a chance to clear your head. Because if you didn’t show him exactly what he accused you of doing, the alternative in your mind was ripping out a few hearts and sinking your fangs into a few necks as you left the place. 

To say your fuse was lit was an understatement. It was lit and quickly eating away at what little reserve you had left. Elijah could see that in your eyes and hear it in your voice. Letting you step away from him now would be a bigger mess. Not that he wanted you to leave his sight any time soon. 

Before you can even attempt to push him away again, his lips descended on yours. It actually shocked you at first, considering you were about to act on your words, or your thoughts for that matter,  in some form or another. After the shock had worn off you began to kiss him back.  

There was nothing gentle about the kiss between you two. The emotions you two had been feeling had been put into the kiss. Elijah’s jealousy was evident as he fought to be the one to control the kiss. While you were angry towards him and upset, you weren’t about to let him get the upper hand, even if the both of you were enjoying it. 

It wasn’t until an unsettling thought crossed your mind that you pulled away from his lips.  You looked up at him, wanting to make sure he was paying attention to the words that were about to come out of your mouth. "I swear if you end up saying that this was some kind of mistake later-"

You didn't get a chance to finish your sentence before Elijah’s lips were back on yours. You weren’t sure if he was only kissing you to stop the thoughts that filled your mind or that he just didn’t want to think about what would happen later. Though for now, it was enough to silence the thoughts of what the future might hold. 

As your hands ran up his chest before one of them came to rest at the back of his neck, his hands had began to move down your sides. As his hands came to rest at the back of your thighs, he lifted you up slightly, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist. The moment he had you where he wanted, his lips left yours. 

“Mine.” He said into your ear before his lips began to travel down your neck.

A shiver went through your body at the words, causing a small smirk to form on your lips. It was only hours ago that you had begun to believe that you’d never hear those words come from him about you. It almost made you laugh that it had taken him being jealous to act on his feelings. 

The sound of a throat clearing had been enough to pull the both of you out of your own little world. It was a reminder that you definitely weren’t alone. From your spot, you could easily see who had been interrupting you. You rolled your eyes before looking back at Elijah to see him look rather irritated at the interruption as well. 

"If you are about to start removing each other's clothes, now would be the time to tell you that there are vampires here that can easily hear what's going on even if the humans can't." Klaus said as he leaned against a pillar. 

"And while you two may not care about who may be able to see, I sure as hell don’t want to see it.” Damon said as he stood by Klaus. 

A laugh passed your lips the same time a growl left Elijah's lips. While you had gotten a good laugh at it, Elijah obviously didn't like that Damon was close by. Not with his jealousy still in play. 

One quick look at Damon and Elijah slowly released his hold on your legs and allowed you to plant your feet back on the ground. His hand reached for yours, immediately intertwining his finger with yours. 

“We’ll be leaving right now.” Elijah said as he stepped away from you before gently pulling you away from the wall. 

A smirk pulled at your lips. “Your place or mine?” That had caused Elijah to give you a smirk in return.

Damon groaned at the question seeing as you were currently staying in one of the extra rooms in the Salvatore home. While you had been spending a lot of time at the new Mansion the Mikaelsons had moved into, you hadn’t actually made the move into it. 

“I’d rather not go home and hear whatever you two are in the middle of.” Damon noted with a roll of his eyes. 

“Your place it is.” You said before Elijah could really react to Damon’s words. Elijah’s hold on your hand tightened for a moment before he began leading you past Damon and Klaus. 

Damon raised his hands up the moment he watched Elijah glare and bare his teeth at him. You held back a laugh, not wanting to start anything between the two in that moment. There was definitely no way that Damon was going to get involved now. He had only done what he did to help you and that was as far as it’d ever go. 

Klaus laughed and shook his head at the display. He had never seen Elijah become so possessive over someone before. It had been entertaining to say the least and it was something he definitely wasn’t going to let Elijah forget. Plus it would definitely come in handy later when he knew you’d be on his side and Elijah needed a bit of persuading. 

You look over your shoulder as Elijah pulled you through the crowd of people. You could see the smirk on Damon’s face as he shook his head at you. Your own smirk pulled at your lips as you gave him a wink before Elijah pulled you out the door. It caused Klaus and Damon to shake their heads at the action. 

I’ve Got A Plan: @mschellehitt @kpopgirlbtssvt @xanderling (If you would like to be moved to a permanent taglist let me know.)

Always & Forever Tag: @rissyrapp20 @taylordrunkonwhiskey @thewolf-and-thesheep @wayward-dan @neeadinghugs @fafulous @cassienoble2000 @kenmen02 @elizamonet @dora-the-grownup @itswingedprincess

Stag Tag:  @elejah-wonderland @cheers-my-dears-16 @xxsoveriegnsarayaxx

The Originals Tag: @zillahvathek

As usual, bold tags mean that for one reason or another, I cannot tag you in this. If you would like to be added to, or taken off, the taglist please let me know. 

[twilightbimbo]

Solstice pt. 4: Twilight AU

Solstice is a Twilight AU with my own OC characters. 

Nathalia

I crouched down on a small cluster of boulders. I felt my lips curl back as I narrowed in on my target. A herd of deer, five of them, grazed the forest greenery. I had hoped that I would get over it by now. I hate killing those deer, I feel bad. There. I said it. Also, they taste kinda gross. It’s just not the same. 

With just a  quick leap off the boulder, I launched myself in the direction of the biggest one. My mom used to yell at me so much for how much of a messy eater I was. I guess some things never change. Gross, I know. 

“Oh fucking hell,” I exclaimed. “I just bought this shirt!” I moaned, hitting the palm of my hand against my forehead in frustration. Blood soaked the upper third of the front of my top and splatters dotted my sleeves. I sat on top of the poor dead animal, dabbing the front of my shirt in vain. I finally gave up and rested my head in my hands, my elbows firmly planted on my knees. 

I felt exhausted. Mentally, of course. Physically? I felt like I could demolish a tank. I had talked to more people in the past thirty six hours than I had in months. 

Suddenly, I heard the soft crunch of a leaf being stepped on in the distance. I stood silently, appraising my early morning breakfast. If my heavy-footed friend was a human, maybe a fisher or hunter, they couldn’t find this deer and get suspicious. I kneeled quickly and made the wound look more animalistic, more feral. It wasn’t hard to do since my messiness helped me in the beginning. 

Curiosity got the best of me, I wanted to see who intruded on my introspective wallowing. I climbed up the nearest fir, finding the best branch with a view that also allowed me coverage. I became still as a statue. 

While the sounds of the footsteps sounded closer, they also sounded lighter. Maybe my friend slipped earlier? I listened carefully as faint grey-green light began to leak through the crowded forest ceiling as I waited. 

Rigor mortis started to set in on the poor animal when the footsteps became loud enough for a human to hear. I craned my neck a bit further to the west, the direction the person was coming from. In one lithe and dramatic jump over the boulders, my guest was directly under the tree I perched on. This was no human. 

The vampire was definitely a woman, she was short but I couldn’t see much else as she wore a long and black hooded cloak. She hesitated by my kill, briefly analyzing it before moving on. I could tell it distracted her, she must be curious about what, or who did that. 

My chest tightened and a phantom feeling of my heart pounding ached deeply. Her vampire scent wasn’t familiar to me, but it didn’t mean that she didn’t recognize mine. There was no way I was followed all the way out to Brookings, much less this deep into the forest. My mind raced as I replayed all my movements over the course of the late night into the early morning. I was certain that I was alone the whole time. 

So who was this visitor? This area of the woods was too far away for humans to be wandering into, so it wasn’t ideal hunting grounds. Maybe they are hiding a body. I’ve stumbled across quite a few discarded meals with the iconic two point bite mark. 

I waited patiently for a long time before even considering relaxing my posture. The sunlight faded as the cloud cover settled deeply into the sky. When the stranger’s scent finally dissipated and I was positive that only the scattering of birds was my only company, I made my way down the fir tree and started to make my way back to town. 

The brief encounter with the other vampire never quite left my mind but I focused on making my new apartment my own as the days of the weekend slowly melted together and passed me by. 

My animal based diet gave me golden eyes when my thirst was down. They looked a bit unusual but allowed me to blend in with the humans. Thanks to my gift, the local coffee shop was hiring. I didn’t need a job but I thought having a job gave me a better chance at blending in. And, it gave me something to do. When I was in high school, and a human, I was a barista. I saved up quite a bit and put it in a bank, my parents prided themselves in teaching me finical responsibility. It gave me a bit of comfort that they had inherited my pocket change when I went missing and eventually declared dead. 

I missed my little sister the most. She’s only fourteen months younger than me and everyone would mistake us for twins. We had the same green-blue eyes and messy dirty blonde hair, but she kept hers way nicer than mine. She was driven, determined, and was wildly competitive. She thought she was stuck in my shadow. I always knew that Margot would do a million times better than me in life. I was right. It’s probably the hardest thing to do every day to not check in on her. 

I wasn’t too close to my mom. She’s too much like me. We’re stubborn, opinionated. We would argue all day and night, but I knew she loved me fiercely. Fierce is a good word to describe Josie. She was the CEO of a record label, climbing her way to the top and taking about every man down along her way, my father one of them. My dad liked that she was in charge and bossed him around. My mom was lean and slender, with a mildly obnoxious boob job. Margot and I got our hair from her, but my mom chemically treated it to be straight. Vanity is a deadly disease in Southern California. 

My parent’s marriage is rocky, to say the least. They took “breaks” often. When I was thirteen I thought they were about to actually divorce but after sticking my sister and me with an au pair for a nearly two months long trip to some private island off of the coast of Mexico things settled down for a couple of years. I never asked what they did down there. 

Beau, my dad, was about twenty one years my mom’s senior. “Spineless bastard,” My mom often muttered behind his back. My dad was quiet and an avid believer in red wine. He spent more time in his cellar and vineyards than he ever did with us, which I didn’t mind. It was pretty obvious that it bothered Margot but she wasn’t one to talk about her feelings. It was a family trait. It’s not like my dad didn’t love my sister and me or anything, in fact in some ways I felt more loved by him than my mom. He just did it in his own way, like making sure my favorite snacks were always stocked or carrying my sister to bed when she stayed up too late studying. 

I wouldn’t call us a happy family, but we were family. I miss them. It made me sad to think about what they about me since my disappearance was framed as drug-related. I try not to fixate on that, though.

I was weirdly excited to go back to school. But, I was also scared. What if I couldn’t control my thirst? What would they say happened on the news? “Crazed teen ruthlessly murders entire class, more at eleven”?

I want to stay. I want a home. I decided I was going to feed as much as possible before my first class. I wanted to be so full that the smell of humans would be overwhelmed. But that could never happen, not for a vampire.  Satisfying our thirst was our number one priority, always. I’ve heard that some very, very old vampires don’t have the same obsession anymore but I find that unlikely.   

My thirst was the first thing I noticed when I came to. My transformation was painful. It felt like I was set on fire and every pore on my skin had a sharp needle stuck through it. I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone. It didn’t help that I didn't know where I was when I woke up. 

I shook my head rapidly, almost like I was trying to physically get those thoughts out of my head. I was nearly done re-furnishing and decorating my apartment. The large windows were shielded by blackout curtains with delicate lace accents weaved into it. I kept things minimal as possible, light, and beach-y. I updated the furniture to the twenty-first century and hung the one personal item I owned, a photo of my family. The one thing that I probably had too much of was plants. Something had to be alive around here. 

Samson 

“Are you sure it’s one of us?” I asked again, two days later after Stella announced her discovery. 

“I’m not a dumbass, Sam” Stella snapped. Stella hates when vampires roll into town. We all do. They usually fuck things up and leave us to clean up the bloody mess. Literally. “Also, shouldn’t you be able to tell?” She pointed out. 

It was true, if she was lying I would know it. But, it’s still shocking. We haven’t encountered a nomad in the three years we have lived in this town. When we lived east of Seattle it wasn’t surprising to get four or five nomads a year.

Suddenly, a wave of calm washed over the room. I could see my siblings relax, Esther’s eyes drooped, the new trashy book she was way too invested in relaxing slightly in her hands. If she was a human, she would pass out on the spot. 

“No fair, Sun,” Stella rolled her eyes. 

“This was supposed to be a nice family game night, you kids are ruining it by getting worked up,” Sunny said sternly.  

“You shouldn’t forcibly quiet us,” Stella retorted. Stella hated being told what to do. Sometimes I’m shocked she even chooses to live with us. 

“I didn’t shut you up, I wish I could!” Sun said, chuckling to herself and patting me on my head. “I just calmed you down, you all are children,” 

We sat around the “dinner” table, Sunny at the head with me sitting on her right. The mahogany table was oval shaped with an ornate red and tablecloth runner. Stella sat facing Sunny on the other side of the table glaring at Sunny with hands folded neatly in front of her and her hair braided and resting on her shoulder. Everett sat on Stella’s left staring intensely at her, most likely talking to her in his own complicated gift’s language. Chip and Esther sat together, Esther perched on his lap, engrossed in her book and Chip absentmindedly played with her hair. 

The stars shined brightly tonight and despite the thick coverage from the forest encasing our home, the moonlight lit up the dining room. Our entire south facing wall was a glass with a view of the Rogue River snaking around our home. I paid little attention to Sunny and Stella’s bickering, focusing on the light bouncing off the crystals of the chandelier which reflected rainbows on the walls, reminding me of my skin in the sunlight.  

“Sam, what do you think?” Sunny asked, nudging my elbow. I cocked my head to the side and gave her a funny look. 

“Huh?” I said quickly and then went over the conversation the family carried on that I barely processed while I was zoning out. “Oh, I don’t know about hunting this vampire down,” I shrugged. “I don’t really see the point in doing that, they might just be passing through,” I continued. 

“If they were just passing through Sam,” Stella said sharply, she hated when I challenged her gift. “I wouldn’t feel their presence anymore,” She finished bitterly. 

I rolled my eyes at her and started to fiddle with the dice that came with the game. “Give them a chance Stells,” I mumbled under my breath, knowing that would just piss her off more. She narrowed her eyes and chucked her phone at me which bounced off my head and landed on the hardwood floor, surprisingly not breaking. 

“I do think it would be best if we got the upper hand on our visitor,” Chip said quietly without interrupting his focus on Esther and her hair. 

“What if they are cool?” I asked jokingly. 

“When are nomads ever not a pain in the ass?” Esther teased, poking fun at Chip who is our newest addition to the family. Chip was a nomad for roughly a hundred years. 

“That is a good point, Esther,” Sunny said, her face soft and thoughtful. “It’s worth looking into who this nomad is,” 

“I’ll round up the search party!” I exclaimed, standing up and slapping the table in excitement. 

“We are the search party, dumbass,” Stella huffed in exasperation. 

Esther

My family decided to waste their evening arguing about the newcomer and then later doing a run around the perimeter of the town, coming up empty-handed. Stella, Everett, and Sunny returned solemnly, a bit defeated early in the morning. Sam was oddly excited to plan another search. 

“Should we go again tonight?” Sam asked, about bouncing on his feet. 

“Let’s wait until their scent leaves a trail,” Sun said, her decision final. While they were chasing down a ghost, I got ready for my first day of school. My seventy-sixth first day of school. 

Thanks to an old friend in Seattle, all of us had forged official documents so no one questioned us enrolling. In my human life, I was Esther Rosenburg. After joining the coven, all of us took the surname King, except for Stella and Everett who kept Stella’s last name Hayes. Samson, Chip, and I typically went to high school while Stella and Everett did community college. This time around, I switched it up and did community college with Chip while the rest abandoned education. 

“Let’s take a first day of school picture of y’all,” Sam said chortling, slapping Chip on the back. 

“Yay!” I exclaimed gleefully. Stella rolled her eyes, yet again, at us but still helped set up the camera to take a tasteful photo of Chip and I standing in front of the spiral staircase. Chip wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close and kissed the top of my head. I looked up at him smiling and I heard the lens of the camera shutter. 

“Beautiful,” Sunny said, looking over Stella’s shoulder at the digital screen of the camera. 

“Thanks, Mom,” I grinned at her. Chip laughed quietly and squeezed me tighter. 

“Shall we?” He said, taking my hand lightly. I stood up on the tips of my toes, kissing his cheek. 

“We shall,” I whispered. In the human blink of an eye, I flashed to the side table by the door and grabbed the keys of my black Volvo. 

“Be careful,” Sun warned, both of blending in and the possible threat of the vampire in town. 

Our home was on the outskirts of town, tucked deeply in the forest. Chip drove us to school, following the winding road. Trees crowded the sides of the road with fog clinging to the asphalt. Chip and I listened half-heartedly to the morning news by the local public that droned on quietly from the car radio in the background, but nothing disturbing happened to indicate that the nomad vampire was active. 

Chip kissed the back of my hand that he was holding as we pulled into the parking lot of Brookings Community College. I looked into Chip’s red eyes and kissed him. When I pulled away, his eyes were brown and I knew mine would be the same color, even though I could pass with my golden eyes. 

“Master illusionist,” I smirked. 

“You know it, baby,” He winked in response. He got out of the car and walked leisurely around to my door, opening it for me. 

We only had two classes today, Introduction to Marine Biology and World History. History is one of my favorite courses, it’s fun to see how wrong textbooks get it. Chip grabbed my hand and we walked to the light blue science building, weaving between the humans hurrying to their classes. 

As we walked into the classroom, Chip immediately stiffened and pushed me back half a step as he let out a low snarl that only I could hear. My jaw dropped as my eyes landed on a girl with dirty blonde hair and golden eyes whipped around to stare at us, her mouth shaped in a small “o” of surprise. 

Previous Chapter

[vmohlere]

More Infinite Coffee Q&A

@musings-on-bucky-barnes​ had some more questions from last year’s Q&A, and after AGES of procrastination on my part, here’s the first set of answers. Also on Ao3.

·         When does Pepper teach Bucky to wink?

 I have no idea! That’s not one of the little details that my brain bothered to supply.

 Or perhaps he saw her do it (to himself or someone else) and decided to copy it.

 Very possible! Barnes definitely watches Pepper closely, because he considers her a reliable source for acceptable social cues.

 ·         Reactions of the Tower residents and other friends when Bucky recovers enough to start grinning and winking? (We know that Natasha said it makes him look epically hot!)

 Pretty much the universal reaction to being grinned at by Barnes for the first time is being stunned and maybe a little turned on. Barnes doesn’t bring out the flirting that often – most often with the Olds and the folks at the Lucky Carp, because of his comfort levels – but Barton and Sam flirt with him pretty shamelessly, trying to get him to smile. Hill has been known to save up a particularly juicy smart comment so she can make it in front of him. And Tony would deny it forever, but once Barnes laughs softly at something during arm maintenance, he ramps the Tony Show up to 13 to try to make Barnes laugh again.

 And also what about flirting at and with Steve? Lucky Steve would get the full force of it when they’re together.

 Prior to Upgrade: Advanced Happiness Skills, Barnes only flirts with Steve when it’ll cause maximum embarrassment and/or make Steve drop something heavy onto his own foot.

 ·         The reactions of the others to Steve and Bucky being together? We get to see the main Avengers and the Olds react, but not Pepper, Maria, Bruce, Katie, Peggy and the Carp clan.

 Hill yells at them for ruining No-Touch Valentine’s Day, but come on – you know she’s delighted. Especially since their timing meant that neither Barton nor Tony won the betting pool for how long it would take. (Pepper won, because she picked the date Nat told her to).

 The others might complain that the bet is then null and void because Nat had insider information ;)

 Who would dare complain (to her face)?

 Mr. Hayashi blinks at them for a minute, until Kazue fusses at him for being old-fashioned.

 How does he then react?

 Oh, he’s fine, just momentarily surprised.

 Katie cries with happiness, and Steve’s a sympathy crier, so that’s a very damp conversation.

 Bruce notices. Eventually. (Nah, I kid – all the Tower residents saw this coming miles and miles away.)

 So that means that they are good at keeping their poker faces, as Bucky says in Advanced Happiness Skills that none of them (apart from Nat) noticed and that they appeared to be morons. (Which could mean that HE was so happy and distracted that he was actually the unobservant moron!)

 Correct.

 Sadly, I’m not sure that the Peggy in this world would be mentally together enough to hold onto the news. But her objective was always that Steve be safe and happy.

  ·         Steve and Peggy’s relationship - how it was affected in the period after Bucky’s ‘death’?

 I don’t have anything for this. Just thinking about it makes me so sad, though.

It is ironic that Bucky remembers more about Steve’s sex life than his own, like Steve & Peggy in the room in Lyon. Poor Bucky…

 Oof, his own sex life has a lot of stuff he didn’t want to remember, so he walled off all of it.

 Steve’s reactions to knowing that Bucky loved him and was jealous of Peggy

 Capt. Compartmentalization took that knowledge and tucked it very far back in his mind, bringing it back only when he wanted to torture himself by feeling guilty about it.

                 Will Steve and Bucky discuss Steve’s feelings/guilt about how he felt he let Bucky down during WW II?

 Oh, sure. They live for a very long time, and eventually, they talk all of it through.

  ·         Other Tower residents & Olds after Bucky has been shot

 Widespread frantic worry. There’s a phone tree for updates. Barton remembers to add the Hayashis to it.

 Steve’s reactions to wounded Bucky’s ramblings – including the ‘you’re my favorite person’ comment

 Well, you know, Buck was just as high as a kite there, couldn’t be held responsible for anything he was saying, and there definitely was no teeny tiny little part of Steve that had been in love with Bucky Barnes since he was 15 years old that was 100% thrilled.

 ·         Does Bucky ever run into Tyler and Dale again? Or they recognize him on TV when the media realize Bucky is alive/helping the Avengers?

 Oh man, I don’t know. I have thought about The Dale & Tyler Question a number of times, and I haven’t ever been able to decide what the funniest option is.

 ·         Bucky’s next birthday – will he be recovered enough for a big birthday party of his own?

 No, but I’ve just decided this minute that they rent out the Carp for the evening and have all the mission-assists for dinner. Barnes has to sit with his back to the wall near the front door, but he loves it.

 ·         What made you decide to do Steve’s POV? It was the first look at Bucky from the outside in this series.

 That section rose up and demanded to be written and fell out all in one lump. The only thing I changed while revising was to rearrange it a little. I really loved writing Steve’s voice.

 ·         Tony’s reaction to someone apart from himself doing something risqué/scandalous (the skinny dipping)

 He hates it, of course! While secretly loving it. Incapable of having a straightforward emotion, that one.

 ·         Solo trips to the Carp by other Avengers

 Oh, sure. They’re very good for that place’s bottom line. And Nat visits the Olds on her own.

 ·         It seems that Ollie’s honey Wayne died not long before Ollie encountered Bucky for the first time. How did the Olds all meet? Did they know Wayne?

 That must be so, given the way I mentioned things, but the timing wasn’t deliberate. Esther and Lidia had both lived in the building for several years, moving in when it was a much less dire place, and neither could afford to leave once it started getting bad. They were “nodding neighbors” until O’Reilly bought the place and started using it for nefarious purposes, and then they clung together for safety. Ollie moved in because it was what he could afford. They took one look at how sad he was and adopted him.

 Eventually, all three of them move to California, because the NYC winters get to be too much for their joints, and Ollie’s family is so happy to have him more active in their lives, and they don’t want to be separated. Barnes is NOT a fan of the plan, though it’s what ultimately makes him stubborn about learning to make air travel okay.

 That makes me sad and happy in equal measure. Tony would probably offer to do something whiz bang to the building’s heating, but a permanent move to warmer climes makes sense (and he and Pepper would make sure they got a great home). Hopefully Cat Eleanor likes her new home!

 Yeah, they are all really happy in California. Ollie’s family takes them all in with open arms.

 ·         Use of first names/surnames/nicknames and the importance of choice of which.

Like how you mentioned in a Tumblr post that you were very specific in Bucky’s use of Rogers, Steve and Stevie. And there is also how he only seems to prefer to let Steve say ‘Bucky’.

 Using a first name is a sign of intimacy for Barnes. Surnames keep people at arm’s length – or, in Hill’s case, are a sign of recognizing one as an equal.  His using “Steve” or “Stevie” means that it’s a moment of the programming losing power.

 And yes. Only Steve can call him “Bucky.” Only the Olds can call him “Jimmy.” He thinks of himself as “Barnes.”

 ·         How quickly did it take the Olds to realize that their mysterious new neighbor was Bucky Barnes?

 A couple of weeks.

 ·         Any more snippets of Cat Eleanor being her glorious cat self with the boys?

 Oh man, I wish I had one for you, but I don’t.

 They do eventually adopt their own cat, though, after the Olds move. His name is Jack, and he’s a hideous old grey thing with one eye. He and Barnes are devoted to one another. Jack tolerates Steve as a second-class roommate.

 ·         In ‘This You Protect’, you mention that Barnes is somewhat of a prude when Steve trolls him by singing rude and yucky songs. Is that a feature of old Bucky or new Barnes or both?

 Barnes

 Bucky thought all those songs were hilarious.

 ·         Recently you gave an intriguing one line summary about your original novel – please repeat that and tell us a bit about the genre, what stage it is up to, why you decided to write it.

 oh jeez.

 Did I say it was about a lady and her six werewolf boyfriends? I’m working on my query letter now, and I don’t know whether it’s urban fantasy—with—romance or paranormal romance, because marketing labels are a mystery unto me, but it’s full of jokes and people being dumb about their own emotions and baked goods. It’s definitely a coffeeshop AU, plus lots of boning.

 It’s not high art, but I had a ton of fun writing it.

 Honestly, I wrote it because I got mad at a bad fic (non-MCU) and decided I could do better. I will NOT link the fic.

 ·         Tell us the story behind your choice of that Battle of the Planets art for your icon.

 HA! I loved that cartoon when I was a kid. But mostly that picture just makes me laugh every time I look at it – it’s so cheesy. There’s something about the pose and the facial expression that I find hilarious, and I’ve used it for long enough now that it would be weird to change it.

 xXx

[gwynne-fics]

where to begin p3

one. “You were unsuccessful,” Eun-Sang murmured when he rolled off of her to catch his breath. She laid her head in the crook of his arm and pressed her lips against his skin. “You should’ve taken one of us with you. How many of us have you gone through tonight?”

He ignored her tease. “I came straight to you. I wanted to see Jung-Woo first.” Which he missed because it was late when he arrived to the palace. Jung-Woo was already asleep.

“You have other sons.”

“Jung-Woo is my blood. Woo-Young isn’t. Once I am king, we will do a blood drop test to prove it.” He kissed the top of her head. “I might be able to make him heir but I cannot make you queen.”

“I don’t want it,” she reminded him. “I am happy to just be with you when I can. What was she like?”

“The smartest person I have ever met. She’s beautiful but that isn’t why I want her.” He paused and then corrected himself. He didn’t lie to Eun-Sang. That was their rule. “It isn’t the entire reason why I want her. I have to make her queen. She doesn’t realize how much our country needs her. Hyo-Shin doesn’t love her. If he did, I would...”

“You wouldn’t give up.” She sat up and looked down at him with a little laugh. “You’ve never given up on someone you wanted. Does she love him? You said they were friends before you went on your tour. That means they like each other at the least.”

He thought about the nights he passed her room, only to hear Hyo-Shin making love to her. He stood there, silently angry at the man he once loved, for taking Rachel away from him, before he even had the chance to try. He’d written Lady Esther and told her to wait.

But it was too late. Hyo-Shin won. And it pissed him off.

“Enough to get her pregnant,” he muttered bitterly. He sat up and intended to find his clothing but Eun-Sang grabbed his arm and gave him one of her looks. 

“You cannot steal a pregnant woman,” she said seriously. “Babies change things. I nearly destroyed myself with poor protection because I refused to let Tan get me pregnant. Jung-Woo is a gift I never thought I’d have because I did not want that tie. Give up.”

Young-Do pulled his arm away. “Our country needs to repair. I need to implement more reformations that I can count. She is the one that can make it happen. I don’t have the luxury of giving up and I won’t kill Hyo-Shin to make it happen. Da-Kyung hasn’t had a problem having children by two men.”

“Da-Kyung never liked Won. She likes you more than she liked him. Young-Do...you have to be careful. It’s not like you love any of us. The choice between a man she is friends with and a man she doesn’t know is an easy choice.”

He stood and started pulling on his clothes. His problem wasn’t that he didn’t love any one of his concubines more than the other. He loved all of them. Even little Chae-Mi, who had been much too young when she was given to him. He let her grow up and intended to wait until she was more mature before consummating their marriage.

He wanted to make legal and cultural reforms that would allow women like Eun-Sang and Da-Kyung to love as many people as they wanted without guilt. The right to divorce wasn’t enough. Women needed more rights and he was in the position to give it to them.

“Lady Rachel desires me more than Hyo-Shin. That has to matter.”

He didn’t bother with putting his hair back up. He turned around to find Eun-Sang sitting with the blankets pulled up to her chest as she looked at him thoughtfully.

“I say this, with all the love in my heart, Young-Do, but how could you possibly know that? Desire isn’t a competition. It’s more simple than that.”

There was a part of him that recognized that Eun-Sang was right but he couldn’t admit that out loud. “So you’re saying Tan and I aroused you the same amount?”

She rolled on her side so her back was to him. “Tan forced himself on me. I had to pretend to enjoy him or risk ruining my cover. There was no desire, Young-Do. I didn’t know it existed until I met you.”

He immediately felt like shit.  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I knew that and I brought it up anyway. I was wrong.”

“Yes, you were. Go away.” He knew better than to try and cajole her. He would come to her tomorrow and see if her mood was better or if he needed to give her more space after his fuck up. He left to go to his rooms and immediately his mood lifted when he looked at his bed.

Three of his children were curled up on top of it. Woo-Young and Ji-Young were asleep but Joo-Young sat on the edge, kicking her tiny little legs, as she sucked on a candy. The two girls were his daughters even though Woo-Young was Won’s son. There were ministers uncomfortable with his choice to become Woo-Young’s father but he was uncomfortable killing a boy under the age of one.

“You’re supposed to be in bed,” he told Joo-Young.

“Joo-Young in bed,” she pointed out and held out her sticky hands to him. He went over to his water basin and dampened a cloth before coming over to her, wiping her hands and face, before picking her up and hugging her. “Appa, home. Stay? Long time?”

It would be unlikely he would be able to leave the palace in the first year of his reign. Father was still technically alive but it was a matter of days. He carefully rearranged the children in his bed before kissing Joo-Young’s forehead.

“I’m home,” he promised. “For a long time. Sleep, okay? Omma won’t be happy if you’re cranky tomorrow.”

“Joo-Young delight. Not cranky.” But she curled up next to her brother and closed her eyes. By the time Young-Do wiped himself down and changed, she was asleep, too.

Young-Do covered them with the blankets after he climbed into bed with them. He fully expected to be woken up by excited toddlers. It really was his favorite thing about coming home.

two. Rachel acutely felt Prince Young-Do’s absence in the week that followed his departure. It didn’t help that Hyo-Shin appeared to miss him just as much as she did. They kept waiting for the news of the king’s death.

She wrote her mother about the visit, carefully omitting the prince’s advances towards her, while mentioning the chance she was pregnant. Rachel found herself touching her stomach at nearly every opportunity, even though Hyo-Shin had retreated from her at night.

They were eating lunch when the news of the king’s death reached them. Hyo-Shin appeared pained for a moment before he took a deep breath and handed Rachel the invitation to the coronation in a month.

“I will be fine to travel by then. We can stay with my grandfather.”

“This won’t be temporary.” He took her hand and encouraged her to sit in his lap. “I’m sorry but we need to be prepared to move to the capital.”

“You are the one who will be made minister of justice,” she pointed out. “I will need to continue to run the province. I’m not a city girl. I’ve lived my entire life either on the border or away from the capital. I wouldn’t be comfortable there. Not with the new king attempting to become my lover. What has you so worried? I thought you loved him.”

“I did. I do.” He closed his eyes and bowed his forehead to shoulder. “The king learned of our relationship and threatened to kill me. Young-Do ended it and then just...left for war. I was so hurt that I did something...unfair to him. It’s going to have long term consequences. I didn’t think that through.”

Rachel pressed her lips to his temple and struggled with what to say. She had enough hints this last month to understand what he was alluding to. “I chose you. If I didn’t think you could offer me what I wanted, I wouldn’t have agreed. Being queen is a huge responsibility. I like being a provincial lady more. Are you worried that our new king will arrange for you to have an accident?”

Hyo-Shin let out a low breath. “No. That’s not how he does things. I’m sure he just believes that until you fall in love with him, he and I can share your bed without jealousy because we’ve done it before. He doesn’t have that...possessiveness...most men get about their wives. He doesn’t need to be a person’s only lover.”

“Just the most important one,” she mused. “I can’t tell you that I don’t want him. Those few weeks he was here...I understand why you can’t let him go in your heart. But Hyo-Shin, I am a passing distraction. Now that he is king, with more responsibilities, he will forget about me as soon as I’m out of his sight. He has an entire harem full of women eager to please him. He doesn’t need one more. Especially, not a selfish lover like me.”

Hyo-Shin chuckled and then lifted his head to kiss her. “Seriously,” she said a few seconds later, in an attempt to be playful. “I just lie there and expect you to do all the work. I don’t bother to do much more than that.”

“You are perfectly enjoyable lover. Surprising you is its own satisfaction.”

Hyo-Shin just kissed her again before he stood, placing her on her feet, and took her hand. He led her to her bedroom and let her be selfish.

three. Father’s death hit him unexpectedly and Young-Do spent the mourning period hiding in the nursery with his children. He built several forts, organized several battles involving pillows and spilled treats everywhere, and had more baths with his messy children than he had their whole lives. 

Everyone, including his concubines, left him to it.

It was a week before the coronation when he sat on his daughters’ bed, brushing Ji-Young’s hair while Joo-Young attempted to brush his, when a servant came to tell him that Hyo-Shin had arrived.

“Did he bring Lady Rachel with him?”

“No, your majesty, he was alone.” He tried not to be annoyed. He had to put the comb aside or risk pulling Ji-Young’s hair. His little girls looked up at him solemnly before he sighed.

“I’m getting my children ready for bed. Tell him to wait.”

“Yes, your majesty.” She bowed and left him to finish his time with his girls. He got them into their night clothes and read them a few stories before Da-Kyung and Eun-Sang showed up to say goodnight. He went over to the boys and hugged them, too. Jung-Woo was surprisingly clingy and tried to climb on his back twice.

“Will you still play with us when you’re king, appa?” Woo-Young’s eyes matched his sisters when they were about to start begging him for treats and Young-Do knew he had to answer carefully. He knew he couldn’t lie to children. So he pulled both boys in his lap and held them close.

“I love you both, very much. When I am king, I will be very busy. I can’t promise I’ll always be able to play with you. I will try hard to spend time with you. As much as I can.”

“Okay, appa,” Jung-Woo said and wrapped his little arms around his neck. Woo-Young didn’t seem convinced but he was the oldest of the four in this room. Young-Do put them to bed, did another round of kisses, before he knew he couldn’t keep Hyo-Shin waiting much longer.

He went into his study and tried to smile before Hyo-Shin raised an eyebrow. “Eun-Sang says you haven’t left the nursery for days. Are you alright?”

“Not really.” Young-Do ran his hand over his mouth and was comforted a little when Hyo-Shin gave him a tight hug. He wanted to hold onto him and remember a simpler time when they were together and Hyo-Shin could talk sense into him to remind him why he’d struggled for so long.

Hyo-Shin cupped his face and gave him a tight smile. Fuck. Young-Do missed him so much. There was an intimacy with Hyo-Shin that he’d never been able to achieve with his concubines. He bowed his forehead to his and didn’t even care that he started to cry.

“You are going to do this better than your father,” Hyo-Shin said softly after Young-Do composed himself. “You’ve been putting together your reforms for over five years now. You have a plan. You can do this.”

He didn’t feel like he could. Not without someone like Rachel.

“I invited both you and your wife to stay at the palace. Did--”

“No. She’s not here. Rachel is staying with her grandfather, Lee Jae-Shin. I came alone.” Hyo-Shin’s expression darkened and he shoved several envelopes at him. Four, to be exact. He sent six. “She never saw them. I made sure of it. What the fuck are you doing?”

“Fixing my country,” he snapped. “Everything she has done in your province has resulted in lower crime, a stronger economy, and less poverty. It is the same in Lady Esther’s province but I can’t marry a Lady Regent. I need Rachel to do it for the capital and the rest of the country. The only way she can do that is if she is my queen.”

And he knew Hyo-Shin well enough that if Rachel asked for a divorce, he would give it to her without a single argument. They held the same beliefs when it came to men and women. The person he needed to convince was Rachel, not Hyo-Shin.

That’s what the letters were for.

“You seriously aren’t pulling this shit on me. Rachel stabbed someone and that’s why you want to fuck her. I am not blind to my wife’s beauty, Young-Do, or her many charms.”

“And still you don’t love her.” He said it quietly and Hyo-Shin balled his hands into fists.

“Neither do you. You aren’t offering her anything more than I am. You don’t love people. You use them until you’re bored. You claimed to love Eun-Sang but here you are, three years later, lusting after my wife.”

I’m bored with you, Hyo-Shin. I’ve found someone else. He deserved having that thrown back in his face.

“She shouldn’t be your wife!” It wasn’t what he wanted to say to Hyo-Shin. He wanted to remind him of his love and beg forgiveness for his pride. He’d lost the one love that he’d held above all others simply because he gave into his father’s threats. His snarl put Hyo-Shin aback and he needed to explain himself better. “You should be here with me. My father is gone and you...we...You never should’ve married her. If you were here then she would be...available to become queen.”

“Well, she’s not,” Hyo-Shin said hoarsely after a minute of silence. “And you can’t have her. Pick someone else.”

“There is no one else.”

four. Rachel loved her grandfather’s estate. She had fond memories of visiting him when she was a child. She missed the wide, open fields and mountains in her home but there was something lovely about the curated garden that beautifully intertwined with the buildings Grandfather owned.

She woke up the sweet smell of the beautiful flowers he grew. She sat on the veranda during afternoon tea. She was alone so she reached into her dress and pulled out the two letters she received from the new king.

There were clearly other letters missing, just from the half thoughts and phrases that he alluded to. Hyo-Shin must have intercepted them. Rachel traced her fingers over the words offering her something...special.

He even asked about how her pregnancy was progressing. Part of it felt so right just as it felt so weird.

She jumped when Grandfather sat down next to her and tried to hide the illicit missives. He just smiled at her and offered her tea. “Picking a queen is never easy and our family has long been on the outskirts of that. Our bloodline is older than the king’s and...that is a risk.”

She knew why. Mother brought it up when Hyo-Shin came to woo her.

“I have a good husband,” she stared down at her tea. “I like my work at home. I want my children to grow up free to run around in the hills and fields that brought me so much joy as a little girl. Hyo-Shin is my closest friend, Harabeoji. That is worth protecting, despite how attractive the king’s offer is.”

Grandfather was quiet for a few moments before he sighed softly and refilled their cups. “I don’t have a solution for you. Our country was at war for too long and Khitan is eyeing our border towns. Having the right queen would settle our country. In this, I agree with King Young-Do. You are the right choice for that.”

“I can’t leave Hyo-Shin.” She touched her small pregnancy bump and looked down at it. “My own father was mediocre but I know Hyo-Shin wouldn’t be. I know the king has taken in children who are not his own but...I can’t.”

Grandfather didn’t say much to sway her opinion of that. She knew he liked Hyo-Shin and gave his blessing when they married. But she almost wanted Grandfather to tell her what to do. He was so smart, so politically saavy, that she knew it would be the right decision.

Hyo-Shin didn’t return from the palace that night so she got ready for bed simply and didn’t bother to put on any special scents. She let her hair down and intended to brush it herself when she sat down at her vanity alone. She heard the door open but assumed it was a servant when no one was announced.

She felt a warm, calloused hand take the comb away from her and when she turned to look behind her, Rachel gasped as Prince--no--King Young-Do knelt down behind her. “What are you doing here?”

“Something incredibly stupid.” He kept his voice low, which meant no one knew he was here. “Your husband is staying in the palace tonight after telling me he kept my letters from you.”

“That’s his right as my husband,” she pointed out as he continued to brush her hair. It was sweet and gentle and reminded her that her husband did not love her.

“No.” He sounded angry. “No one has the right to make this choice for you.” Rachel looked away. She tried to breathe and think clearly but it was so difficult when she caught his gaze in her mirror.

“Even you?” Why did she sound scared?

King Young-Do stopped combing her hair and slowly turned around to face her. “I won’t command you to be my queen, Rachel. The enormity of what I need from you demands that this be your choice. That doesn’t mean I won’t do everything I can to convince you.”

“I don’t understand,” she said after a moment. “I don’t like feeling torn between two duties.”

“Marriage should not be a duty. It should be a delight. Let me show you.” He turned her face back to look at him and kissed her. She was surprised it was so brief. “Let me make love to you tonight. Come to the women’s court tomorrow. Spend time with me. I will show you how I do marriage and the opportunities I am offering you. Give me a chance. Please.”

Rachel stared at him and his audacity and finally heard what he’d been trying to impress upon her from the beginning. This was her choice. 

But...

“I don’t understand,” she said finally. “I mean, I understand why you think you want me. I don’t understand why you are courting me in the first place. I’m married.”

“Technically, so am I.”

Mother made her very aware of this double standard. There was a part of her that longed to be free of it. And here was a king, offering to do just that, if only she take the risk.

“Alright,” she said. “I will give you a chance.”

King Young-Do smiled and then kissed her.

[sophisticatedloserchick]

Fanfic - Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue - 1/1

Summary: All the most important people in Iris’s life give her tokens for her wedding day.

Rating: PG

Word Count: 2259

A/N: Day 5 of Westallen Wedding Week : Wedding Traditions

Something old

Iris coughed loudly as a cloud of dust entered her lungs. She was currently on her hands and knees searching in her grandmother's very small, very low ceiling attic. The single light bulb hanging above did very little to help her actually see what she was looking for.  

“Did you find it yet dear?” Grandma Esther called from down below.

“Not yet,” Iris said between coughs.

“Well you better hurry,” Grandma Esther lectured. “Before you lose a lung from breathing in all that dust.”

Iris grumbled under her breath knowing better than to complain outright to her grandmother.

“What was that?” Grandma Esther's sharp hearing as always picked up any dissent.

“Nothing grandma,” Iris answered quickly.

Iris went back to moving boxes around. Trying hard to unearth the one her grandma wanted. Normally Barry did this job. His lean frame and long arms made him the perfect candidate to pull things down from the attic. At every holiday he was at Grandma Esther's beck and call to pull down boxes of decorations. It was no secret this made Barry a favorite in Grandma Esther's eyes. For years she'd made sly remarks to Iris on 'why can't you find a nice boy like Barry?' that drove her nuts. No one was more pleased than Grandma Esther when she found out they were getting married.

“Found it!” Iris called out triumphantly when she found the box at the very back corner.

Carefully she climbed down the ladder with the box cradled under her one arm. Once she got down the two of them headed to the kitchen to sit down.

“Whats in this box?” Iris asked while brushing lint and dust off her clothes.

Grandma Esther didn't reply but got to work on opening the box with her gnarled but surprisingly deft hands. Iris watched as her grandmother carefully pulled out a cotton bag she then pulled out a long bundle wrapped in tissue. Iris's curiosity was certainly piqued at this point.

She leaned forward as her grandmother pulled back the layers of tissue to reveal lace. Gently her grandmother spread the lace out to reveal a wedding veil. Iris marveled at the pure ivory white material to the white satin headband with beaded designs.

“This is beautiful Grandma,” Iris said wonderingly.

“Its yours,” Grandmother Esther said simply.

“What? No, no I couldn't.” Iris said in disbelief not that Grandma Esther was paying much attention.

“This veil has been in the West family for sixty years,” Grandma Esther gazed down at it lovingly.

“Sixty years?” Iris was shocked. “But it looks brand new.”

“I've taken good care of it,” Grandma Esther said proudly. “You need a veil for your big day. The ancients in Rome said a veil warded off the bad spirits and protected the bride.”

“You think that's true?” Iris eyed the veil having seen her fair share of magical items.

“Not at all,” Grandma Esther laughed. “But I do believe it brings good luck to the bride. I know it will bring you good luck.”

“I'll definitely wear it,” Iris touching the lace lightly with her fingers. “But I don't know if I should keep it.”

“Nonsense,” Grandma Esther waved her off, “It belongs to you now. That is until your daughter is ready to be married.”

“In that case,” Iris reached out to grab her Grandmother's hand, “I promise to take care of it. Thank you grandma.”

Something New

“Do I want to know why you've dragged me into this lingerie store?”

Iris was none too thrilled as she glanced around her surroundings. Her eyes straining against the bright neon pink interior of the store. There were posters of women sexily pouting posing in underwear everywhere you looked. She wasn't opposed to buying lingerie, she actually had quite the collection back home especially in the color of red ever since dating Barry. But that didn't mean she loved the atmosphere of the store where you felt like you walked into a Victoria Secret catalog.

Nor did she have any idea why Linda dragged her in here in the first place.

“I'm performing one of my duties as the maid of honor,” Linda answered while her eyes keenly browsed the merchandise.

“Which is?” Iris asked while eyeing a mannequin dressed in leather bustier with too many buckles and feathers hoping that wasn't what Linda had in mind.

“Finding you a garter,” Linda walked through the store with purpose. “For the garter toss.”

Iris winced at the mention of that particularly embarrassing wedding tradition. Don't get Iris wrong, there was nothing she loved more than Barry getting on his knees and putting his head between her legs. Barry himself couldn't seem to get enough of it. However Iris didn't know how she felt about Barry going underneath the skirt of her dress in front of all their friends and family to retrieve a piece of lace to toss it at the bachelors for them to fight over.

“You're doing it,” Linda said firmly, “Don't even try to argue your way out of it.”

Iris openly scowled at her best friend but remained quiet. She had learned many times through out the process of planning the wedding that Linda took her maid of honor duties very seriously.

Iris stood over to the side arms folded across her chest as Linda browsed through their selection. She knew there was no point in fighting this but that didn't mean she had to be helpful in the search.

“I assume you being the proper lady you are,” Linda said while Iris rolled her eyes. “You probably prefer lace over satin. How about this?”

Linda held up a ring of lace fabric with a very large blue bow attached to it.

“Not feeling the bow,” Iris grimaced.

“It is rather large,” Linda agreed. “But I figured the bow will be helpful to Barry. Don't want him losing his way down there.”

Iris felt a wave of protectiveness sweep over her. She bristled at the thought of Barry's abilities being questioned.

“Don't you worry,” Iris said without hesitation. “Barry knows what he’s doing.”

While she didn't regret defending her man but Iris could of done without the dirty grin and raised eyebrow Linda sent her way.

“What about this one then?” Linda held up another garter. This one was a simple white lace with rose designs. Iris did prefer the understated style. While she didn't look forward to the idea of Barry going up her skirt in front of a crowd of people at least she'd like the garter. Plus it didn't have a ridiculous bow.

“I could live with that one,” Iris reluctantly admitted.

Ten minutes later, after Linda paid for the garter, the two of them were sitting at a coffee shop. Iris ordered herself a large mocha with an extra shot and extra whip cream because after today she deserved an over caffeinated, over sugary drink.

“Can't believe you bought me a garter,” Iris said laughing at the surreal situation.

“You'll thank me,” Linda said knowingly. “The last thing you want is a previously used garter. Anything lingerie related should always be brand new. I'm just taking care of you.”

That was one point Iris could never argue against.

“Besides you want a quality garter, nothing cheap.” Linda gave her a sly look. “Its the sneak peek for Barry on what to expect on the honeymoon.”

Linda gave her an over the top wink that had Iris laughing.

“Speaking of...do you need help picking out what to wear on your wedding night?” Linda asked with too much eagerness in her voice.

“Nope, no way.” Iris shook her head. “Some things should stay between a husband and wife.”

“Spoil sport,” Linda pouted which only had Iris laughing again.

Something Borrowed

As Cisco led Iris into his workshop the predominate thought in her head was 'what could he possibly have in here to go with my wedding dress?'

Iris glanced around the workshop at the various gadgets, laser guns and meta-human detectors to name a few, Cisco was in the middle of working on. All the counter space was covered with blue prints and scraps of metal. Not exactly what you'd think of as a place that would make anything to wear on your wedding day.

“Okay found them,” Cisco presented a velvet jewelry box for Iris to take.

Cautiously she opened the box, you never knew when one of Cisco's inventions might combust to reveal a pair of diamond tear-drop earrings.

“Oh wow,” Iris gazed at the beautiful craftsmanship of silver and sparkling diamonds, “Cisco these are gorgeous. And very expensive looking, I can't accept these.”

“Of course you can,” Cisco scoffed at her. “I made them for you.”

“You made them?” Iris arched up an eyebrow. “Since when do you make jewelry?”

“Well these aren't your typical earrings,” Cisco gave a mischievous look. “Both can be used to track you in case aliens abduct you or some crazy evil speedster takes you.”

“I don't think we're expecting either of those things happening at the ceremony,” Iris said dryly.

“Never hurts to be prepared,” Cisco reminded her. “Not in our line of work.”

Iris couldn't disagree with that.

“Now the left one,” Cisco continued on. “If you pull the bottom diamond it becomes a mini grenade. Perfect to use if someone tries to attack you.”

“Exactly how violent do you think our wedding is going to get?” Iris asked in disbelief.

“With the right one if you push down on the second diamond it becomes a flash bomb that will blind anyone within twenty feet,” Cisco continued.

“Just what every bride needs,” Iris said dryly.

“Totally my thoughts too,” Cisco agreed either he completely oblivious or he was teasing her. “I want you to be safe and for nothing to ruin you and Barry's big day. I love you guys.”

“Oh Cisco,” Iris broke out into a smile. “That's actually very sweet.”

Iris reached out to pull her friend into a hug. Sure the gift was a little over the top but that was Cisco's style. Exploding earrings was just his was of showing that he cared.

“Hey listen can you bring the earrings back to me after the wedding?” Cisco asked. “I want to do a couple more adjustments to them before I give them to Cindy.”

“So you're letting me borrow my own wedding gift,” Iris dead panned.

“Well yeah,” Cisco gave her a confused look, “Is that not normal?”

Iris gave him a withering look before leaving the workshop to a very bewildered Cisco.

Something Blue

“I have something for you.”

Iris glanced up to where Barry was standing in front of her. She frowned at the expression on his face. He looked nervous but also eager. And he couldn't quite meet her eyes. She quickly noticed in one hand he was holding a thin white jewelry box.

“Barry,” Iris softly admonished. “You didn't have to get me anything.”

Barry moved to take the empty space beside her on the couch. Iris powered down her laptop and put it away to give her complete attention to him. She shifted till she was facing Barry. Instinctively he reached out to drape her legs across his lap. Happily Iris curled closer into his side.

“Whats going on baby?” Iris ran a hand through his hair to soothe him.

Barry stayed quiet and held out the box for Iris to take. Still confused Iris obligingly open the lid to find an antique blue hair pin. It was long and thin, made from sterling silver that had been recently polished. At the base was a floral design that had been painted a brilliant robin's egg blue.

“Oh Bar,” Iris breathed out. “Its beautiful.”

“It belonged to my mom,” Barry smiled pleased at her reaction.”She wore it when she married my dad. I thought maybe you'd wear it too.”

Iris felt her chest tighten at the sweet gesture. Iris knew parts of the wedding had to be bittersweet for Barry. While he still had family by his side that didn't take away that he lost his parents. Her heart broke at how little was left of the Allen family. She consoled herself knowing she'd be a Allen soon and so would their future children. Thinking of this Iris realized how much weight was in the gesture. How important it was for Barry to include what little of parts of his parents he could.

“Only if you want to of course,” Barry said nervously when Iris didn't immediately respond. “Probably doesn't go with your outfit does it. You don't have to wear it if you don't want to.”

“No, no Barry.” Iris reached out her hand to grab Barry's. “I want to wear it. This is just such a sweet gesture.”

“Yeah?” Barry breathed in relief. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” Iris pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. “I would be honored to wear it. I want as much as of the Allen family as possible on our day.”

“I love you Iris West,” Barry looked at her in wonder.

“Iris West-Allen,” Iris corrected before she pulled him into another kiss.

[deafwestnewsies]

Here’s a Headline

jack & davey, 1808 words

based on this post

(so i was looking for inspiration to write this and i heard it was issac’s { @miserysucculent } birthday??? so since this is his hc i thought hey why not. pls enjoy issac, happy birthday bud. also this turned out a hell of a lot longer than i meant it to be)

It was one of those summer days that made everything seem insignificant. It was hot, hot enough to make Davey flee the constraints of his room. Since he shared with Les, it felt too constricting to sit and listen to another story about cowboys and the wild west. Sarah was already starting her homework for next year, and kept spouting facts about the moon. Davey wrinkled his nose thinking about the pile of homework that sat on his desk, waiting to be started. Choosing to neglect his duties, Davey chose to take a walk down to the farmer’s market for his mother. It was just as stifling outside, but a thin breeze blew between all the people that crowded the sidewalk. He pushed his way through the crowd, realizing that this was not the greatest choice he could’ve made, relieved to see the big signs advertising fresh fruit and baked goods.

He grabbed a basket and checked his phone for the list again. Apples, broccoli, chicken stock, and the daily paper. As much as Sarah and Davey had tried to convince their father that all of the news was online, and buying a newspaper was unnecessarily killing trees, Mayer insisted on having the real thing, right there. Davey grabbed everything and headed over to the small newspaper stand, carrying all the big names. A boy was leaning against the post, reading the New York Times, with a bloody and fascinating title. Davey went to pick one up, and the boy lowered the paper as he watched Davey grab it. He felt the the boy’s eyes rake across his body, and ignored him as he opened to the Arts & Leisure section. “Well extra, extra.” He heard, the boy’s Manhattan accent thick. “I’m gay and you’re cute.” Davey smiled slightly, folding the paper.

“Extra, extra. Yeah I’m cute, duh.” Davey walked on past the boy to pay for his items. Maybe the trip wasn’t useless after all.

&&&

“I was in the middle of the Battle of Hogwarts!! Molly Weasley was about to say bitch! You can’t just take me away from that!” Sarah rolled her eyes as she tugged on his arm, sending his whole body out of the door frame. Davey huffed, picking himself up off the floor. Sarah had demanded that he come out of his room and ‘socialize,’ even though there was no one to talk to in the middle of July. Her girlfriend Kath was out of town, Davey’s friends Mush and Skittery would rather suck face then talk face-to-face, and everyone else made Davey feel like he was losing braincells the more they opened their mouths. But Davey knew that Sarah couldn’t stay in the house for too long, or else she would go crazy. So he reluctantly followed her out the door, complaining the whole way.

“Where are we even going?” He asked, still annoyed.

“Anywhere the winds blows us!” She sighed, twirling in the wind. Sarah’s soft pink skirt puffed in the wind, her hair streaking around her. Davey gritted his teeth, plodding along behind her. They kept walking until they ended up at the farmer’s market, in front of the lemonade stand. Sarah pulled a five out of her pocket and paid the man for two drinks that looked pink and fizzy, but tasted surprisingly good. They walked around for a while when Sarah saw the newspaper stand.

Pulling Davey’s arm in a direction he did not want to go for the second time that day, Sarah led him over and picked up a Tribune. Davey read the title until a voice jarred him into looking up. “Extra, extra. Does cute boy have a band-aid?” Sarah opened her mouth, confused, but Davey raised his hand to silence her.

“Why?” He said, smiling.

“‘Cause I think I scraped my knee falling for you.” The boy winked at him, and Sarah’s mouth fell open.

Davey grabbed Sarah’s arm and dragged her away from the stand. “Well, good luck with that!” He called over his shoulder.

“Care to explain what the hell just happened?” Sarah asked, disbelief etched in her words. Davey smiled, a dreamy look in his eye.

“It was the wind.”

&&&

Mayer had forgotten to get his paper coming home from work. “Damn!” He said, sitting on the couch, good-naturedly. Esther swat at him with the packet of papers she was filling out.

“Not in front of Les, Mayer.” Les grinned at him from the other couch, a ring of blue encircling his mouth from the popsicle he had earlier. Davey giggled, and returned to the english homework that was sitting on his lap.

“Any of my lovely children want to go and get one?” Mayer jokingly asked.

“Me!” Davey said, shooting up, dropping all of his books and papers and sending them to the floor. There was an embarrassing silence as everyone’s eyes watched a slow piece of notebook paper drift to the floor. Esther raised an eyebrow, clearly confused.

“I- I’m just passionate about world politics!” He said, nodding his head. Sarah laughed, getting up from the kitchen table.

“And that newsboy’s ass.” She said, leaving the room before her mother could lecture her. Esther sighed and shook her head, returning to the paperwork she was doing. Davey picked up his papers, putting them on the couch.

He walked quickly out the door before anyone could question him. “I’ll get it!” He called, shutting the door. Davey looked at the sidewalk, and walked down the stairs in the direction of the farmer’s market. He got there in record time, slightly out of breath. He saw the boy and smiled to himself. Sarah wasn’t wrong. He has a fantastic ass. As he picked up a Post, the boy laughed.

“Extra, extra. You can stare at this ass all day long.” Davey’s eyes widened in horror as realized what he’d said out loud. He stuttered for a second before dropping the paper and walking away as fast as he could.

Mayer was confused and slightly angry when Davey returned with nothing but red cheeks and a story to tell Sarah.

&&&

“Please take Les out of my hands. This report is due tomorrow, and I’ve barely started. Please oh please?” Davey stared at his mom, not wanting to get up from the spot on his couch. He had finally found a comfortable position to read in, and he knew how rare it was to find one. Esther sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “I’ll give you twenty bucks to go get ice cream. Please?”

Davey reluctantly peeled himself off the couch and set his book down. She smiled tiredly, and he smiled back. He walked down the hallway and reached his mom’s office, where Les was creating necklaces out of paper clips and singing musical theatre songs at the top of his lungs. “AIN’T IT A FINE LIFE, CARRYIN’ T-”

“Les!” The younger brother stopped, looking at Davey like he had ruined a Moment. “Let’s go get ice cream, yeah?” Les’s eyes lit up as he shot to his feet, and Davey doubted the idea of giving him sugar for a second. “Get some shoes on and we’ll go.” As Les left the room, Davey grabbed his arm. “And no Newsies on the way there, please. It’s so overrated.”

Les’s face look offended, and he pushed Davey out of the way. “You’re overrated!” He yelled, leaving Davey to roll his eyes.

The summer heat was too much for Davey, not to mention the fact that it did nothing to subdude Les’s energy. By the time they both had ice cream, Les was practically bouncing off the walls. He had learned to tune Les out, so he was walking along and being pulled of his sugar haze every once and while to stop Les from breaking something or talking to a stranger. Because of this, he didn’t notice where they were going until they were there, in front of the newsstand.

“Oh- Les- Let’s go… look… at that thing over there!” Les pulled his arm out of Davey’s grasp, picking up a random paper.

“Let’s get dad his paper now!” Davey sighed and picked up a paper, trying to cover his face with it. The boy cocked an eyebrow, amused at Davey’s lame attempt at hiding. He was a six foot tall beanpole. There was no hiding Davey Jacobs.

“Extra, extra. Cute boy owes me his number.” Before Davey could say anything, Les answered curiously.

“Why?” He asked, and Davey almost died of embarrassment. Jack laughed and leaned over to match Les’s height.

“Because I dropped mine when I first saw him.” Davey brows furrowed for a second. That one didn’t even make sense? At least he’s trying.

This moment of confusion, unfortunately, gave Les the opportunity to talk. “You lost yours? Oh no! I can give you Davey’s, don’t worry. It’s (212) 34-” Davey clapped his hand over Les’s mouth and began to drag him away. Les fought for a moment before shrugging and giving up, shimmying out of his embrace and skipping ahead. Davey turned around and shot a sheepish smile at Jack, who grinned right back.

&&&

It had been a bad day. Everyone was fed up with each other, Sarah had yelled at him twice, Les broke one of his favorite pens, and Esther had gotten so mad at him that she just pointed at the door and yelled ‘Go!’

So Davey went. He walked in no particular direction, just angry and trying to blow off some steam. As he walked down the pavement, he carefully avoided any cracks and counted his steps. 1, 2, 3, 4…

497. Four hundred and ninety-seven steps until he was in front of the farmer’s market, where his subconscious had led him, and he knew the exact reason why. He hadn’t been back since the phone number incident with Les, and he was dying to see the boy again. He had made small appearances in Davey’s dreams often, and Davey couldn’t seem to get his face out of his head. So Davey ever-so-casually walked up to the newspaper stand and grabbed a Times. He saw the boy look at him for a long moment. Davey was itching to know what line the boy would drop today when the boy cleared his throat. He walked next to Davey and bumped shoulders with him, pointed at the headline on the Times. “Extra, extra. Cute guy agrees to dinner with charming man.” Davey laughed for the first time, a full, broad sound that made the boy’s face light up.

“Extra, extra. They’ll kiss after persistent guy walks cute one to his door.” Davey leaned over and pecked his cheek, leaving the boy grinning as big as could be. As he walked away, the boy called after him.

“I’m Jack!” He said.

“Davey!” He called over his shoulder.

(tag urself i’m les calling davey overrated because he called newsies overrated) 

[erickmalpicaflores]

Erik Malpica Flores Erik Malpica Flores recommends: SUITS Recap: We’re A Community |

SUITS’ “Sour Grapes” saw members of opposing factions in the Next Name Partner Battle of 2018 team up on two separate cases. For Harvey Specter and Samantha Wheeler, the task at hand involved standing up for the firm’s slimy landlord and newest client, David Fox. Alex Williams assisted Robert Zane with a personal business matter; and that left Louis Litt’s drama of the week to be purely personal.

We found Robert Zane. Insert Firm Name Here’s current managing partner has been absent from recent SUITS episodes, but he finally made a reappearance in “Sour Grapes.” For Robert, the episode title was about as literal as it could get: Because he received his barrels too late, the product at his winery had gone sour — and his business was tanking.

So, when the boss called Donna to say that he needed Alex Williams’ help, proving he’d taken the COO’s commentary about “fostering harmony” to heart, “Red” purchased Alex everything he would need and sent him on his way.

Zane was convinced that he wasn’t treated fairly because of his race, especially because of the all-too-familiar looks he’d received at the bank and elsewhere in the community. In a heated meeting, Mr. Newton, who had sold Zane the barrels, actually admitted to some sabotage — but because Robert was a rich outsider, not because of the color of his skin. After a falling-out with Alex and some good advice from Donna, Robert wound up taking the man at his word and working things out. He even decided to give something back by funding a community tasting room.

So, SUITS really did the whole, “it’s not racism” thing here. That’s unsettling, given that people of color don’t normally cry racism for no reason, but that’s none of my business. The storyline included a moment in which Robert stated that, if some outsider came into his own community, he’s not sure he would have acted any differently because where he grew up, the people were “tight and close, mistrusting of outsiders.”

That would all be fine and good if we weren’t ignoring the reasons for that mistrust. Between that and the supposed problem with Robert’s “Wall Street money,” the story gave shades of the “economic insecurity” argument that’s been debunked time and again in America…And that’s really not a good look.

Surprise! She’s not pregnant! Louis Litt might have actually gotten some work done in SUITS 8×07 if Sheila hadn’t called him on his “sex phone” to inform him that she was pregnant and ask him to promise to keep her pregnancy a secret. Instead, said phone call did happen; and Louis…didn’t do such a great job of keeping secrets. Gretchen was the first to know, thanks to Louis’ in-office happy dance, but the party didn’t last long.

When Louis took Sheila to a fancy dinner to celebrate [insert euphemism for becoming pregnant here], things took a predictably bad turn for SUITS’ least healthy relationship (and that’s including the non-relationship mess that a certain other pairing has trapped themselves in for 13 years, by the way). This week’s order from Sheila was that, not only would Lous not be able to raise his child Jewish, but he should also just, like, completely drop the conversation: “This is supposed to be a celebration. Can’t you just let it go?” Yeah, Louis. Let something that’s clearly a major part of your identity go. Because why have a discussion, when you can take Sheila’s orders and leave it at that?

This sent Louis in search of persons two and three to learn of his “secret” news: Esther (his sister) and everyone’s favorite therapist, Dr. Lipschitz. Esther was surprised to hear that Louis wouldn’t raise his child Jewish and had always just assumed that any future Litts would attend Camp Bracha, just like their daddy and aunt had. But when she heard that the decision was Sheila’s, not Louis’, Esther was a little bit less accepting — especially when Louis mentioned that the couple hadn’t even had a real conversation about it. The situation reminded Esther of her failed marriage, which fell apart from a lack of communication, not anything that her husband had done to her.

So, Louis finally stood up to Sheila — for once — only to have her shoot him down with passive aggressive nonsense about he and Esther dragging her for being a shiksa. Evidently, Sheila’s decision not to raise her kid one way or the other had to do with not wanting to further alienate her Catholic parents, who already had a problem with her for not being particularly into their religion. But when Louis tried to explain to her that his wishes weren’t about what was important to his parents but, rather, what was important to him, Sheila made it all about her.

“What about what’s important to me?” Literally your entire relationship, Sheila. Question answered.

Unlike with Harvey, Louis chose to solve his relationship problems with Sheila in a solo session with Dr. Lipschitz. Louis wanted his doctor to wave a magic wand and get Sheila to let him raise their child the way he wanted to; but it wasn’t that simple. The therapist explained his own family story to Louis, the all-too-familiar one of a family that could have had a better chance of surviving in nazi Germany if they’d denied their identity — but didn’t.

Lipschitz’s advice highlighted the hard truth about this relationship: “I’m saying if you can’t be on the same page about how to raise your children, maybe you should discuss not having them.” But when Louis told Dr. Lipschitz that it was too late, the advice was softened to, “it’s more important that you make a decision together than what that decision is.” And then, SUITS’ greatest hero congratulated Louis with a “mazel tov” and a hug.

Louis went home, hoping to (finally) have a real discussion with Sheila, but she’d already changed her mind because Esther had called to welcome her to the family. So, as nice as it was that Sheila was willing to compromise — exposing the baby to both traditions — and even surprised Louis with his mother’s kugel, I’m still calling this one a fail. This couple should have had real discussions before thinking they were pregnant, and the more Sheila continues to control every aspect of the relationship, the more it, quite frankly, needs to end.

Unfortunately, the end is not in sight. Louis tried proposing to Sheila again, but she wanted to be the one to pop the question this time. Yay. They’re engaged…Ummm, and they’re not actually pregnant, so now they get to have (one-sided, probably) conversations like (terrible) adults before any Litt heirs actually come into being. Woo!

Harvey, meet your new client: David Fox. Remember when Donna made a deal with the devil and promised him that Harvey would be his lawyer for a year, for free? Well, Harvey doesn’t because he was never told.

Insert the world’s worst “not-actually-married spouses screaming at one another” fight when Harvey was approached by David Fox with the news that not only was he in the dark about the deal, but it was also time to deliver.

When Harvey confronted Donna about not keeping him informed, she said she’d added Fox to his client roster — I guess Donna’s still holding Harvey’s hand like a secretary, even now that she’s COO? — something she knew Harvey never checked. After admitting that she just wanted to see the look on Harvey’s face when he realized he didn’t have a choice in representing Fox, Donna also told him to “suck it up, take one for the team, and get this thing done.”

…and the whole dynamic was of the head-scratching, “no, really, what is happening with these two???” variety. There are some bottled-up emotions out here, being expressed through work spats, that do not actually appear to be about work. It’s confusing and frustrating…and exhausting.

When Harvey grudgingly went to see his client, he learned that David Fox wanted to by a building from his rival, John Billups, who was refusing to so much as put the building up for sale. Harvey tried (and failed) to make the purchase with a series of lies, but Billups saw right through him. Billups knew that Harvey was lying for David Fox, and he stayed firm in refusing to sell.

While this was happening, Donna was approaching Samantha about being Harvey’s backup on the case. The COO’s philosophy was that, sooner or later, the (snooze-worthy) competition between Sam and Alex would finally come to a resolution; and “no matter who [becomes name partner] first, the other team isn’t going to be happy about it. But the more we’re bonded as a family before that happens, the more likely we’ll stay a family after it does.” During the conversation, Donna also admitted to her and Harvey’s mutual hatred for Fox, which Sam took into account when doing her (as always) solo research.

So, when the meeting between Fox and Billups went downhill, complete the reveal that his client had been paying one of Billups’ clients tens of thousands of dollars per month so Billups couldn’t kick him out, Harvey snapped. He told Samantha he didn’t “give a shit about Donna’s deal” and refused to represent a client who lied to his face, then went back to the firm to have yet another huge argument with Donna.

And it got ugly, fast. Harvey went so far as to say that he was the reason Donna was even in her position, to which she had to remind him — for the millionth time — that she’d earned it. With one last plea to Harvey to keep her reputation in tact, Donna turned to her new best buddy, Samantha — whom Harvey was already jealous of because she kept secrets from him but seemed to share everything with Donna — to ask her to please keep working the case.With much less of a fight than Harvey had put up, Sam agreed.

Darvey found dead in New York. Murder suspect: Damantha.

Harvey finally came to his senses and went back to see David Fox, giving him one last chance to come clean. As it turned out, Fox was actually doing something good with all of those payments — helping out the guy who could have ruined his life for some teenaged theft but instead taught him the value of hard work. Samantha and Harvey were able to put their respective knowledge together and come to an outcome that, while not great for Fox’s ruthless image, was exactly what he needed for his mentor.

With the case finished, Harvey went in search of Donna and Sam, who happened to be together and chatting about what a terrible gift-giver he was. The ladies joked about Harvey’s terrible apology-giving style and barely addressed him while he stood there, dumbfounded, as SUITS’ newest power relationship flourished.

Sorry, Harvey. You snooze, you lose.

…but whatever that weird reaction from Donna was after Harvey tried to joke back at her, leads me to question, for at least the billionth time, what exactly is happening in the SUITS universe. Will we ever know, or is the series just going to continue to drop hints and let viewers interpret things as they will?

News & Notes.

Welcome back, Amy Acker! And please come again! Acker is amazing in everything she does, and the face that “Esther” made when she heard that Louis wasn’t going to raise his child Jewish was so, so relatable.

“I’m taking my side.” Finally, Donna. Go off.

“No, Harvey, I’m in my position because I [f-ing] earned it!!” Again, I say, “GO. OFF.” We love one incensed woman.

I never want the phrase, “sex phone” used on SUITS, ever again. Thank you.

“I’m a big, bad motherfucker, and I’m here to drink your goddamn milkshake.” Here for it, Mr. Zane. HERE. FOR. IT.

Isn’t it wonderful that Louis never once thinks about the fact that he might not have a son? What time period is this?

“I may have to represent you, but I don’t have to tolerate your mouth.” Harvey Specter, y’all.

Pretty sure Louis called his sister’s ex an asshole, meaning the Litts have a type.

“Being Jewish isn’t just a religion to me. It’s in my blood.” This is the most real SUITS quote of the week.

Louis’ story in “Sour Grapes” really hit home for Yours Truly, given that I am the product of a mixed marriage, who didn’t even wind up practicing the religion that her parents chose for her. Not to mention, I work in an environment where I see the blending of Jewish and non-Jewish families all the time. There were some great moments highlighting that struggle, and I particularly loved when Lipschitz got personal…But, ultimately, as most things do when Sheila is involved, the story fell flat. So much for great potential.

“I understand as much as anyone the value of maintaining a Jewish identity.” Same, Doc. Same.

“I didn’t know you could read.” Ok. It’s official. Sam can stay.

“Ok. Let me put this in words that you’ll understand: I have integrity. You let him go, you’re making me a liar.” Canon: Harvey can’t read, needs to be spoken to in words he’ll understand only. One of those words, however, is not “sorry.”

“There’s no way if I’m white we’re in this situation right now.” There’s your narrative, SUITS…not the way that Zane’s story actually unfolded.

Why do we never get enough Gretchen? A quick laugh about Louis not being “the only middle-aged white man who wants to be Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman,” followed by that beautiful “you don’t need to be strong for me” moment, is just teasing SUITS viewers by dangling good food in front of their faces before starving them to death.

Loved sweet and reassuring Louis, hated that it was wasted on a toxic relationship.

“This was Donna’s idea?” “Yes. It was.” “Then, why don’t you sit down, and I’ll bring you up to speed?” Harvey can’t do anything without making sure Donna is behind him. Ok then.

Harvey was a pretty good gift giver that for that one anniversary…too bad Donna was in a relationship with someone else, though. Meanwhile, Robert Zane’s poor gift-receiving is an interesting nugget to try to look at in terms of characterization. Jury’s still out on what it all means.

“Wouldn’t you rather have people know you’re loyal than have them think you’re an asshole?” The Harvey we met in SUITS’ first season is in shock.

Is anyone else loving “The Adventures of Pops and Red” this season, or is that just me?

No, really. What is happening with Donna and Harvey in SUITS season 8? It’s…something. Donna’s certainly made Harvey do things he didn’t want to before, and they’ve certainly argued plenty, but the level of anger just didn’t fit the perceived slight with this whole Fox thing.

The next all-new episode of SUITS airs on Wednesday, September 5 at 9/8c on USA.

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[scottymcgeesterwrites]

A Crash Course on: The Old Testament

    The Old Testament of the Bible is quite possibly one of my favorite set of ancient scriptures – ripe with ancient mythology, symbolism, and inspiration for fantasy writers everywhere.

    I took a Biblical Studies course in my Catholic high school and it was probably one of the Top 3 classes I ever took in my entire educational career. My teacher (we all called him Doc) was the best in the business, being that he himself was going to become a priest. But he was always so chill with us and humorous, never raising his voice for anything. He didn’t need to though – we wanted him to teach.

    Anyway.

    The Old Testament is comprised of 46 books. They are, in order:

  Genesis, Exodus , Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1&2 Samuel, 1&2 KIngs, 1&2 Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, Tobit, Judith, Esther, 1&2 Maccabees, Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, Wisdom, Sirach,Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations, Baruch, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah and last but not least Malachi

Collect them all now for a low-price of $25.99!    This list can change though for different sects. For example, when Martin Luther began Protestantism he rejected 7 books as canon - Tobit, Judith, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, 1 & 2 Maccabees. Basically, Christianity is so fractured into different sects they are like wildly different fan groups of the same fandom arguing about which character romance is canon.

    Just like we have our fandom canons of our favorite character relationships, every religion has its own canons. This is how different sects (and ultimately different religions) form – Protestant, Catholicism, Methodist, Mormon, Baptist, Anabaptist – all of these are like different canons for the same fandom.

     You may have heard of things like “The Council of Nicea” and the council of this and that and so forth. Those councils were basically priests and other clergymen coming together and saying, “Okay, what’s canon?” The actual Hebrew scriptures are different in the literal translation from the Bible you might have lying around somewhere gathering dust. For one example, the literal translation of Genesis suggests that there were more gods – not simply one God.

    These ancient words are believed to have been lingering for ages before they were written down. One can find parallels to old Babylonian mythology (The Great Flood), suggesting a long line of oral tradition before the Hebrew scriptures were written down at around 1,000 BCE.

    We’re first going to talk about the Pentateuch (Greek for Torah, which is the Hebrew word for “teaching”). This includes the first five books of the Old Testament (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy). They are generally the most important in the Old Testament because they narrate the events from the beginning of the universe to the moment Moses leads his people to the Promised Land and dies. The importance is the carrying on of the covenant God gave to his chosen people beginning with Abraham. In short, Christians believe that covenant was finally fulfilled with Jesus Christ. Jews still hold to that covenant that was last tied to Moses.

    Up until the 19th Century, people assumed the Torah was written by Moses – it only seemed fitting. But then there’s the blatant fact that Moses actually dies by the end, and it fucking reads  “And so Moses died."  So scholars began to wonder. It’s like those stupid movies where the main character narrates but dies anyway at the end. So how could they be narrating?

LIke that movie Looper.

    Whoops, guess I ruined THAT for you.   

Scholars scrutinized the Old Testament and actually found something very fucking interesting: There are 4 different writers. You can sort of figure this out on your own by reading your modern Bible over and over if you have literally NOTHING ELSE TO DO.

There are two different versions of stories throughout the Torah. There are two different creation stories in Genesis 1 and Genesis 2-3. Two different accounts of how Abraham sends out Hagar with her son Ishmael to the desert in Genesis 16 and 21. Two different accounts on how many pairs of animals Noah takes to the Ark in Genesis 7:2 versus 7:9 and 15.

Scholars found these and MANY more inconsistencies within the Torah.    

So, they decided to separate them and realized the writing style was unique among 4 different sources.

They named them as the following:    

The Yahwist Source (J) – God is named Yahweh. He’s a much more personal God walking and talking with us. J stands for Jahve, the German word for Yahweh. Because Germans are annoyingly scholarly and can tell the world what to name things.

  The Elohist Source (E) - God is named Elohim. He speaks to us in dreams and there is emphasis on prophecy, one should fear him.   

The Priestly Source (P) – God is also called Elohim. Worshiping him on a somewhat cultist approach. Stresses on obeying law. Likes to list things.

  The Deuteronomist (D) – Within the Torah, unique only to the Book of Deuteronomy. God is called Yahweh. Strong moralistic approach. Stresses on obedience to the law according to Moses.    

One can go much more detailed into these sources, but that’s the gist of it. They sort of pop up in the rest of the OT, but they shine in the Torah.   

The Torah is easy to outline:    

Genesis: the origin of all life which ends in punishment and mercy. Genesis then continues with the “Patriarchs,” every feminist’s worst nightmare. The Patriarchs began with Abraham and continues until Moses in.

Exodus: God saves his people and promises them their own land.

Leviticus: which is literally a huge list of rules to follow once they get the 10 Commandments.

Numbers: also comprised of rules but actually gets into some narrative as the Hebrews wander the desert killing other tribes that get in their way, along with the fabled Ark of the Covenant.

Deuteronomy: Moses’s long speech warning everyone to obey God or lose the Promised Land. Moses actually never gets to walk into the Promised Land; he dies the moment they see it. Spoiler alert. After the Torah is what scholars call the “Historical Books” (Joshua all the way to 1&2 Maccabees).

This set records everything from Moses’ death to the aftermath of the Babylonian exile. Scholars also separate these books by different sources. Joshua to 1&2 Kings is believed to be from the Deuteronomist source, as it is somewhat droll and keeps tying itself back to Moses’s warning.

1&2 Chronicles to Lamentations has its own source labeled “Chronicler’s History”.

The rest, as I mentioned before, is only included in the Catholic Bible. These are seen to others as “apocryphal texts” or aka – non-canonical.   

The Book of Judges is one of my favorites, mainly because it tells of how Israel rose to power through the use of B-movie action heroes with gratuitous violence and gore and adventure. They called these heroes “judges”, because after their violent heroic exploits, they ruled the land for some time and judged with great wisdom. Then the plot repeated itself as Israel turned away from God, sinned, a new tyrant rose, and another judge arrived to save the day. Basically like a typical action movie sequel. I think more people would be apt to look into the Bible if they were aware such amusing stories were written.

Just a small preview, Judges include:    

Ehud – he assassinated the fat tyrant king of the Moabites by gutting him with a sword. He did so in the most Samuel L. Jackson way possible. He went up the king and said, “I have a message from God for you.” The king was so fat that when he fell the entire sword fit inside him.    

Samson – a strong man with supernatural strength like Hercules. He fought lions and slayed an entire army wielding the jawbone of an ass. His only weaknesses were pretty women and the cutting of his hair.   

Deborah – one of the few oldest passages in any ancient scripture having a female protagonist. She led an army against Jabin, who had ruled over Canaan. On her free time she chilled underneath a palm tree and passed her judgments there. Because thrones and courtrooms are fucking boring.    

Abimelech – son of the judge Gideon, who became a tyrant. He died by the hand of a woman who threw him out of a window into a mill-stone. His wounds were fatal, but he was so offended by this that he ordered his armor-bearer to kill him instead so that it won’t be said that he died by a woman. Well, fuck, dude, I guess that didn’t work out did it? Else I wouldn’t be here typing this.

   Dredd - Judge Dredd was the most kickass of them all –haha, only like five people are going to find this funny.

 The rest of the Old Testament is winding down now. There’s more history that I won’t get into until later downward, and then there are fables and "Wisdom books”. Judith and Ester are fables not meant to be taken seriously. They serve as tales to show the glory of serving God and whatever. They also have female protagonists. The Book of Job is another one of my favorites. (It’s the inspiration for my character Job McCony in my sci-fi writings). God and the devil make a bet to see if Job loses faith in God. It’s a classic tale meant to show man’s determination to believe in God even when shit hits the fan. Song of Songs is actually a bit erotic. Proverbs and Psalms are self-explanatory. At this point, I’ve gone through the bulk of the Old Testament except the Prophets. So I’ll skip to that.

The Prophets are books from Isaiah and Jeremiah, then from Ezekiel to Malachi. Like the Judges, the Prophets are separated into minor and major groups.

We need to do a quick jump back here though because there are two major Prophets who DO NOT have eponymous books - Elijah and Elihsa. Their deeds are recorded in the Book of Kings 1 and 2.

Kings 1 and 2 are also the source of many ancient astronaut conspiracy theories, but that’s another topic for another time. Like Judges, they are filled with adventures, but with mysticism and magic.The kingdom was in turmoil then, split into Israel and Judah, and prophecies arose of when all this would be fine and dandy and a “messiah” would come to rescue them from the clutches of Assyrians and Babylonians and whatever other pagan nation that bullied the Israelites. Kings are very entertaining books - I pretty much just love the entire Old Testament at this point, let’s face it. The tales of Elijah and Elisha include intrigue and magic. There is one hilarious passage, 2 Kings 2:23-24, without any clear explanation. A few little boys make fun of Elisha. Elisha then summons two she-bears to eat the boys, and NONE OF THIS IS EVER MENTIONED EVER AGAIN.

It’s great. I really suggest you read it.

See, the reason why Elijah and Elisha didn’t have their own books was because they never wrote down their own sayings. These other men did.

The Prophets are where we get the foreshadowing of a savior, although when he finally did come, things got more complicated. The Old Testament ends with these hopeful prophecies.   

Biblical Archaeology: How Much of This is Based on True Events?

Biblical archaeology is really fascinating. Like any other search in archaeology though, one shouldn’t be focused so much on finding out if legends are true. Rather, one should seek the truth of the culture and history surrounding the legends.    

Most of this shit is old.   

Jericho is noted in the Old Testament as the first city that the Israelites conquered. In reality, it’s one of the oldest continually inhabited cities in the world, reaching as far back as 9,000 BCE.

Do you know how fucking old that is? The Egyptians weren’t even a thing until around the 3,000’s. However, Jericho has evidence of being destroyed, rebuilt, abandoned, and repopulated many times over. 

  Historicity and archaeological evidence presents much broader ranges of time periods in which these events could have occurred. Like Jericho, a lot of this shit is old, and the Old Testament is attempting to illustrate specific events anywhere within 9,000 BCE to about 10 BCE.

This creates some controversy when people really want to place the events told in the Bible in their implied time frame. You hear shit like people finding the Ark or the resting place of Noah’s Ark. Another big dispute is when the Hebrews were slaves in Egypt. There are very little Egyptian accounts of such a time, and when they do pop up it’s much later than when Exodus implies it took place.

Ramses II is a popular candidate as the Exodus Pharaoh, depicted in many movies and cartoons. However, again, there is no concrete evidence. 

Once you start talking about the split of the Israel after King Solomon’s death, their civil war, the creation of Judah, and the Babylonian captivity, the Old Testament actually merges with known ancient history of the world.

Tiglath-Pilesar III (Doc’s favorite historical figure) was an actual Assyrian king who said “Fuck everyone” and conquered the known world at the time, including Israel and Judah. (They later were conquered by Nebuchadnezzar II of the Neo-Babylonian Empire, resulting in the Babylonian Captivity). Tiglath was wily and took advantage of Israel’s civil war. He was known for making mounds of skulls from dead warriors, just to show people how much of a dick he was, I guess. Speaking of dicks, do you have any idea how they kept a number count of the dead after a battle back in the ancient world?

You guessed it – they cut off the dicks of soldiers.

Imagine having THAT GUY’S job.

Ol’ Tiglath was also the inventor of the standing army. He amassed so much that he realized it was a good idea to have a professional army that stood around even in times of peace.

And that’s my first article on the Old Testament. I’m sure I’ll write much more about it because it can honestly take up volumes.

‘Till next time.

Sources:

Reading the Old Testament: An Introduction by Lawrence Boadt

101 Myths of the Bible: How Ancient Scribes Invented Biblical History by Gary Greenberg

FUN FACTS:

- Elijah battled wits with Jezebel, a pagan princess. Jezebel was known for being very cunning in trying to fool Elijah. For this reason, the name Jezebel has been stigmatized; you were seen as a woman who was a whore and immoral, although in today’s world this is mostly forgotten.

- In the 1981 movie Raiders of the Lost Ark, Marcus Brody mentions that the Bible “speaks of the Ark leveling mountains, laying waste to entire cities.” No such passages were ever written. The Ark is mentioned and is carried by the Israelites but there are only a handful of scenes where it actually does something, which includes inducing plagues and killing farm animals. The last we ever read about the Ark is when the Babylonians sacked Jerusalem, leading to the captivity. No extra-Biblical sources mention the Ark.

- Ezekiel 25:17 is a passage made famous by the movie Pulp Fiction. The verse in the movie has several alterations though.

[yearinthejournal-blog]

January 9th

2013

So much has happened I’ve been overwhelmed and intimidated by all there is to write about. Easy stuff first. I started school at the local college here on Wednesday the 2nd, a week ago, and I LOVE IT! And I’m doing well. I read the book, preview the lectures before class, take copious amounts of notes, study, do the homework, preview the labs. I’m understanding it and retaining it. I’m trying to make friends, especially with other POC’s, which make up like 75% of my class. Lots of Arabs! Today I gave my info to someone named Kristen. 

I hunt out with Andrew on NYE. We smoked weed and talked, watched things, listened to music. Andrew is one of my favorite people I’ve ever met and one of my best friends. He’s deeply sensitive and feeling, I think, although he doesn’t show it. What a lucky circumstance being his roommate at the stumphouse. He stayed the next day and Esther hung out with us. We got burgers and dressed up and then Andrew and Esther hooked up which was awesome. Andrew’s been really lonely and Esther too, so I was happy about that. Esther is going up to see him this weekend!

I have a crush on my roommate Jenna. I think I have ever since I found out she’s a writer. She’s introverted and reads and she’s personable. It seems obvious to me that there’s a lot going on under the surface and it’s intriguing. I’ve been trying to talk to her more and relate to her. 

After I went to see Lauren, we’d been texting back and forth every day. She would say sweet things to me, like how she went to that sushi place and it didn’t feel the same (we went there together). When I stayed with her, we watched Reno 911 while we were high, and I did that on 12/31, so I texted her and told her and she was being really mean about it, said she was judging me for being high “all the time” and when I said I was trying to be nice, she said “I don’t care.” So I said, “Everyone was right about you.” And that’s when it started. She said the meanest things to me. She said I don’t have my shit together and to act my age. Also, someone was sending me anonymous messages on tumblr telling me to kill myself and I thought it was Lauren so I sent her an email addressing those, and the texts, and that led her sending me a barrage of texts, and posting something on her tumblr with my full name that said I was abusive to her, coerced her into sex, manipulated her into being with me, and isolating her from her friends and family. It was fucking ridiculous. At first I was in so much shock that it shattered my sense of reality and made me feel like my life was ruined. But then Nikky and Heather reached out to me and I found all this support. Nikky told me so many stories about Lauren, and she has done this to a lot of people. She has the same abusive pattern. Lea and Jenna were talking about beating the shit out of her. Nikky is getting together all the people they know that Lauren has harmed and we’re going to have some sort of meeting I guess. I’m waiting to hear back from them. I was feeling a lot better that I’m not alone, and validated. Nikky is lovely to talk to. They really know how to be respectful. Lauren told me Nikky is the worst person she’s ever known, which is just fucking asinine. 

But then I talked to Heather on Monday night and was feeling worse. They were together for 9 months and everything Lauren told me about Heather was a lie. Heather insisted on being polyamorous from the start and was completely honest. Eventually she found out that Lauren had been slowly isolating her from her friends and verbally attacking them behind her back. She finally sent her an email breaking up with her and telling her not to come home. Lauren started attacking Heather too, but also begging her to take her back. Lauren didn’t want to be with anyone else, she didn’t even want to have friends. It was much different from our situation, where I was the one who wanted to be monogo and was codependent. 

I find myself being jealous of Heather! Ugh! Like I want Lauren to want me back. I want her to cling to me, and to not have wanted to see other people. I think how much longer our relationship could have lasted had I not been so clingy. And I feel so awful for feeling this way, what the hell! How fucked up that I want that, that I want such a fucked up relationship with such a fucked up person. I feel like such a freak. I feel like everything Lauren said about me is true. She knows all my faults, all my insecurities, all my triggers, and she used them all against me. She has really affected me, and I try to tell myself that she’s wrong, she’s just a mean irrational person, but I think she’s right about me and it makes me feel hopeless and depressed. I am not okay. I am dysfunctional as fuck.

But I made a promise to be optimistic and also not dwell on things, but get to work. I was thinking about why I want these things, and I think it’s simply that I want someone to care about me in that way. But I never learned how to healthily care about someone, so I don’t distinguish between healthy want and unhealthy want, I just want someone to want me.

I need to not be so desperate for want though. But I’m so scared if I don’t settle, nothing better will come along. But also if I am healthy and don’t allow unhealthy things, I think I will find someone. I’m mad that I do this over and over and over - sabotage every fucking relationship with my codependence. 

Also I feel like I deserve what Lauren is doing to me because I did use to be abusive. And even though I’m not anymore, this is what I deserve perhaps. All my past catching up with me.

For Christmas I went to Marie’s sister, Arlene’s house and we ate food and went to see the Hobbit. It was a joyous day. I love Marie so much. I love having someone to talk to about my deep feelings and thoughts and she validates me a lot. Sometimes I get annoyed because she is constantly asking to borrow money, but it’s helping me to be better at setting boundaries, which is something I need to practice.

[gwynne-fics]

Becoming Royals

wedding day

“Stop peeking.” Go Nam-Il lightly smacked the back of his head when he kept trying to see through the crack in Rachel’s door. He had several court ladies of his own trying to dress him and it wasn’t going well. There were just too many layers. “Do we need to go over it again?”

“No.” He tried not to pout. There was a ceremony, a procession through the capital, a return to the palace, a banquet, entertainment, gifts and then they could retire. He craned his head to peek through the gap and ducked when Nam-Il tried to chide him.

“What’s wrong?” Nam-Il waved off the court ladies and took over the final few steps of straightening his marriage clothes. “You’ve been off all morning. This is more than just jitters. You’ve been excited for this day for the last four months.”

Young-Do winced and tried to look away. “I keep making her cry.”

He almost went into her room twice last night to apologize again. Nam-Il’s expression softened and he cupped the back of Young-Do’s neck and looked at him seriously. “Are you trying to make her cry?”

“No. Of course not.”

“Then your apologies are sincere and she will understand. What was it this time?” Young-Do hated that there was a this time.

“I yelled at her about her mother.” He could’ve handled it better, especially since she came into the room to find him with Hyun-Joo. Once Rachel started crying, he never knew what to do. He was too panicked and just wanted it to stop.

Nam-Il was silent for a moment before he sighed. “I do not know what you could’ve said to her to warn her of the king’s evil and his hatred of Lee Esther. I honestly don’t, my prince. But, she needed to be warned, and you haven’t done it properly.”

Letting down Go Nam-Il was the worst feeling, now only second to letting Rachel down.

“I’m worried about tonight.” He couldn’t even look at his mentor. “I didn’t get to check in with her and...and I’m just worried. If she refuses me, the king...”

“I have seen the way the princess looks at you. She is not like your father. I don’t believe she will withhold affection from you simply because you poorly expressed concern over her safety. But if she does, that is just something you must bear with grace.”

“I will,” he promised and Nam-Il smiled at him. He smoothed out the lines of his wedding clothes and then nodded. “I like the black and red,” he admitted. Nam-Il laughed softly 

“The princess should be ready soon. You should go outside and wait for her.”

Young-Do did as commanded and tried not to get anxious while he waited. The sun was rising beautifully over the palace and city. It was going to be a lovely day if they could get through it. When the doors opened and Rachel stepped through with the help of her attendants, Young-Do almost stopped breathing.

Her gown was the traditional blue with the bright red edging the neck and sleeves. Rachel was smiling at him, phoenix ornaments in her hair and gold dragons decorating her sleeves. He always thought she was beautiful but today...

“You look very handsome,” she murmured. “And you can kiss my cheek. I don’t want you to ruin Hee-Jin’s hard work.”

“You look beautiful,” he almost stammered it and he heard Go Nam-Il hide his amusement in a cough. He absolutely accepted her invitation to kiss her cheek. “Are you warm enough? We have to walk to the throne room and I don’t want you to be cold.”

Her smile felt like a gift after the discomfort of last night. He kissed her forehead and her cheeks again and got a giggle out of her. “I think we’re wearing the same amount,” she teased as they started walking. “If I get cold during the procession, I will just snuggle up against you.”

She wasn’t mad at him. He tried to hide his relief but she caught it anyway. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly. “Nothing is wrong. I’m pretty sure this will be the happiest day of my life.”

Rachel just looked amused. She tugged on his sleeve and brought him down so she could kiss his cheek. “Mine, too.”

It was a long day. Young-Do enjoyed making promises to Rachel about just being her husband. He didn’t know why he was so relieved or giddy when they started their procession through the city but he actually enjoyed the cheers and blessings people shouted at them.

Rachel sat in her sedan chair and didn’t seem to get exhausted or annoyed as she smiled and waved at people. She allowed children to come up to her with flowers and small gifts even though it definitely slowed them down. Young-Do knew her school for orphans made her popular among the merchants and law enforcement but he was still surprised to see how much the average commoner liked her.

No wonder the King wanted to get her under his control. 

“What’s with that look?” She handed him a clementine after peeling it and wiping her hands on her handkerchief.

“I don’t know how to explain it. I think I’m just surprised at what you’ve done in just over a month.”

Rachel took his hand and brought it to her lips. She left behind a small coloring stain and there was this sigh through the crowd. “My mother used to talk about how popular Queen Kyung-Ran and Queen Jae-Kyung were when she lived here before the previous king passed away. They allowed the people to know them. I decided to follow in your mothers’ footsteps, giving transparency to the school, and speaking with community leaders myself. They encouraged you well, too, my prince. The people know how hard you work for them and that’s why they’re excited for us.”

He didn’t know why her explanation sat poorly in his gut even though the fruit tasted good and made him feel good despite how long the procession was taking. Rachel caught it and handed him more fruit.

“Yes, it is dangerous, especially with a king whose pride is easily injured by women, but I would rather die living up to my obligations as a crown princess than avoid it and allow him to destroy our country further. I will always be in danger as Lady Esther’s daughter. I can’t change that. I can’t control his actions so there is no point in trying. I know you will do your best to protect me and that is enough.”

“Fuck. Rachel...” What did he even say to that?

“We are married now, my prince. And I love you, so very much.” To his surprise, she reached into a small box in her chair and handed him a rice ball. “I had Eun-Sang prepare these for us. It is going to be a long day and dinner is so far away. I want us to keep our strength up for tonight.”

“I’m really looking forward to tonight,” he said, probably blushing, as he practically swallowed the rice ball in one gulp. Rachel had tea for them and it made the rest of the very long procession just a little bit shorter. They stopped at the closest temple to the palace and made their first offerings as a married couple. It was the last leg of their trip before going home.

The banquet was set out and he was almost embarrassed when his stomach growled until he heard Rachel’s stomach. It was adorable the way she waited for him to sit before sticking herself in his lap. “I should probably be dainty but I’m starving. Point out Prince Myung-Soo’s love to me. She’s supposed to be here when the gisaeng dance, correct?”

Young-Do nodded and filled his rice bowl with everything she could possibly want to eat. He ignored the sidelong glances of the king and ministers. The amused and wistful smiles of the younger members of court were more palatable simply because Rachel wanted them.

“It will be a traditional sword dance. Ye-Sol is very good. She may be Myung-Soo’s favorite but her mother has been grooming her to take over the pavilion these last few years. I’ve promised Myung-Soo he can take her as a wife if she wants it when I become king but...” Rachel almost made a face but she hid it behind a few bites of meat. “Does he still make you uncomfortable?”

She let out a sigh. “He is doing a good job with my school, I cannot complain about that. I can understand his aversion to me but he still threatened a woman because he could. No matter what her station, that is unacceptable to me. I don’t know if I can ever...trust him. I’m sorry. I know you love him.”

“That’s fair,” Young-Do said and kissed her neck so she would giggle. He was pleased that they got to eat to their hearts content as the best their country had to offer entertained and blessed their wedding with music, art, and dance. The gifts took longer than he wanted them to, especially when he noticed the exhaustion creeping up on Rachel. Her head fell back against his shoulder and her eyes closed several times until Go Nam-Il appeared carrying a large, long wooden box.

“This is my gift to you,” she said as he placed the box on the table in front of them. “It does not compare with the school you’ve given me, but I hope you like it anyway.”

She sat back down in her seat while Nam-Il lifted the lid to reveal a sword. Young-Do blinked and stood when his mentor took it out of the box and offered it to him. Before he even drew it, he could tell the balance was perfect, and when he drew it, it sang as it came out of its sheath. He went through a few practice exercises with it before sheathing it again. He was tempted to replace his sword right now, but he put it back in the box and bowed to Rachel.

“Thank you. That is an amazing gift.”

“There is now a sword stand in my room, for you to place it there whenever we are together at night.” She leaned close and kissed him. “I hope we are always together at night.”

He wanted that so much. He wanted them to live together, to want to always be together. He wanted nothing like what the king had with his queens and concubines. He kissed her back and took no care with her lip coloring. There was something of a cheer (he could hear Bo-Na whistling inappropriately) and he laughed when Rachel had to wipe her mouth and then his with her handkerchief.

Once all the formal ceremony was observed, his friends and the ladies of the court came to offer their congratulations. It took time, even though the men could tell he was obviously eager to retire, because Rachel, again, invited the women to interact with her the way she had with the common people. She accepted thoughtful gifts from the women and hugged every one.

Hyo-Shin and Myung-Soo quietly teased him while he tried to be patient. Bo-Na waggled his eyebrows at him suggestively after flicking at his ears. Young-Do thanked him for protecting Rachel these last few nights and he smiled. “It was a delight. Oh look, she’s being taken away.”

Finally. The court ladies would change her into the red and gold gown that was much easier to take off. Over the last few weeks, Rachel like to tease him about it, to the point he felt uncomfortably hard every time he saw her. There had been very little relief, even when they kissed, and her fingers got curious.

“Everything is in place for you?” In between working with the Rites Ministry, he’d worked with Go Nam-Il for a safe place for Bo-Na and Yoon Chan-Young to elope to. As far as he knew, everything was ready for them to runaway in two days.

Bo-Na smiled and nodded. He took a deep breath and wrinkled his nose as he whispered, “I still haven’t bled yet but there are no other signs. My father will be so angry when he finds out. I’ve written him a letter for when you talk to him. Remember to do that when you come up for air.”

He hugged Bo-Na tightly and kissed the top of his head. “I won’t let you down.”

“You never have.”

He had. He let Bo-Na down when he accused him of lying about his gender. He didn’t deserve Bo-Na’s forgiveness. This was the least he could do to make up for it.

“I think she’s ready,” Bo-Na nodded as Eun-Sang came out of his part of the palace and slowly (too slowly) made her way over to him. She had a slight frown which concerned him.

“Is there a problem?”

“I hope not, she’ll be upset if tonight doesn’t happen. Someone gave Rachel alcohol. It always puts her to sleep. She can’t really tolerate it. I talked to the monk at the temple in preparation for today and he assured me she wouldn’t have to drink anything during the offering but...Hurry, your majesty.”

He tried not to run or get too angry as he went to her rooms. The servants were almost conspicuously gone, so after knocking, Young-Do went inside Rachel’s rooms. He was almost immediately disappointed. Rachel sat on her bed in her lovely red and gold dress, her hair still prettily done with delicate gold ornaments and a red veil, but her eyes were closed as she leaned against one of the bed posts.

Young-Do shoved his arousal and disappointment aside. Obviously, someone was trying to sabotage him tonight. The King probably arranged for the alcohol to test him. He went over to her and gently laid her down after taking off her veil and loosening her hair. 

He meant to stand when he felt a tug on his pants. He looked down at her and found her smiling softly up at him. “Madam Chang-Yi suggested I have a small drink on a full stomach to help my women’s spaces relax for you. I’m not drunk and I’m not too sleepy. Eun-Sang overreacted before I could explain.”

Rachel slowly sat up, her hand moving up his chest, as she smiled at him. “It is my turn to see all of you, my prince. Will you disrobe for me?”