#i think next ep is gonna go crazy

[mythomaniia]

nothing against zac’s characters (gorgug is my bestie and skip is my little guy) but usually they don’t make me feel crazy the way that say siobhan’s or emily’s tend to but the ravening war is changing that. not to sound like raphaniel here but what the FUCK is up with colin provolone

[neonsbian]

i keep thinking abt why kangs dad is so weird around saifah, like it can't just be the asking his patients to buy him nice things thing, like maybe it'd be a point of concern but theres no actual evidence of him stealing shit and it can't be bc he just hates poor ppl bc he's never had a problem w sailom and idk, if i was a rich dude working on a political campaign i wouldn't gaf abt one of my many employees unless they specifically did something to piss me off which he didnt really so im just wondering if they have a connection we just wouldn't know since the storys mostly in kanghans and sailoms pov

[prodkeiji]

ep 9 is a lot to process uhm

[d8tl55c]

adding screenshot jic readers of the future missed the post

like me i dropped everything upon seeing this to go find it lol

still fucking insane. 5 MORE EPISODES. FIVE

for some reason i expected there to be less. like around 3?? but oh my god. they are going to reveal so much. especially considering the last episode will probably be WAY longer than others are. they are going to answer so much.

(theres NO way dark wont be mentioned more in this season im giddy and kicking my feet. also. possibility of king n purple cameo.)

[r0-boat]

Feral!Lighter brain rot

I'm very normal about his EP

Cw: Dubcon, consent non-con, rough sex, No beta we die like men

Thank you for coming to my TED talk...*explodes*

Even the undefeated champion can get overwhelmed whether it be from stress or simply becoming drunk off adrenaline from a fight.

All he wants to do is maul the next thing he sees, like a feral animal.

That's what pretty little things like you are for. He tells you over and over that he'd never hurt you in a soft voice that makes your heart swoon. But you know full well that he can.

He knows precisely what you want, You're not exactly the most subtle with your desires.

That thought had been driving you crazy. The What if Lighter: Your sweet, protective boyfriend wasn't so sweet with you? To see you as a toy to play with than someone that he cherishes more than anything else in the world.

Why not give you an experience to remember?

This is what you want. To have him come in just when you're about to go to bed. You're lying on the couch when your door knob clicks and turns. You know exactly who it is... There was only one other person you gave your spare key to.

It's not that you didn't want to see him. It's just that you weren't expecting him; usually, he would shoot you a maximum of three-word text when he came to crash or visit.

But this time, he practically barges in, slamming the door behind him. The look in his eye shivers down your spine as an imposing figure stocking closer toward you.

Your heart fluttered in your chest, especially when he left his jacket and shirt, dropped on the floor forgotten. He took his red scarf and wrapped it around his left hand.

"On. Your. Knees."

That wasn't a request.

You looked at him, eyes wide., Whatever was showing on your television was long forgotten. Your legs shook everything, urging you to drop to your knees and let him do whatever he wanted. But something within you stirred inside, whether it be curiosity or blind courage. It made your lips move.

"Make me."

Lighter's green eyes flicker at your blatant challenge. His eyebrows raise slightly. The silence is deafening as his lips curve into a smile. His left hand grips the red fabric as the other takes off his shades, tossing them.

He comes after you in a flash, His hand roughly grabbing at your color, yanking you until he hoists you over his shoulders. His fingers dig into your back as he brings you to your bedroom, tossing you on the bed with little care of where you end up before crawling on top of you, licking his lips. He could practically smell your arousal.

And he was just as aroused as you were. Scratch that He's more aroused than you are. He feels so bad for handling you similarly to how he handles riffraff. But he can't deny how hard his cock was pressing against his jeans.

He lets out a snarl His arms flexing as he tears his pants in two. Before doing the same to your shirt and pants.

"Hey! I just got those!" You yell, hitting his rock-hard chest. It's kind of cute how you think you can hurt him.

"too bad doll, should've listened to me the first time."

There was no ounce of gentleness to how the man handles you to flip over, grabbing your wrists, and tying you with the scarf.

Coating his fingers in his saliva before plunging it inside you. His hand and thick fingers force you open. His callused palm and rough scarred fingers groping your ass spreading you whiter as wide as he could to force his fingers deeper stretching you out for the hardness you can feel grinding against the crack of your ass.

Fuck... Your muffled screams sound so good. He wanted to be at least gentle when he fucks you, but It looked like his body had other plans. Taking you like this was so thrilling. His eyes rolled back as he lost himself in his own lust, ravaging your body till there was nothing left.

"Gonna fuck you... Going to fill you up and teach that naughty little mouth not to talk back!" Lighter growls in your ear taking out his fingers before plunge again in your mouth You're empty hole soon filled with something bigger screaming against his mouth and fingers as he immediately sets his pace.

You're tasting yourself on your tongue. The thought alone was setting Lighter a blaze.

Why do you make him like this? He could feel every ounce of self-control crack and crumble.

He was making so much noise from the bed rattling and his own moans your neighbors could probably hear but to be honest he doesn't give a fuck. All he cares about is fucking all the stress he has built up from god knows how long.

From how tightly you were gripping his poor cock, to your shaking, quivering body and you're sobbing, muffled mess with your tears soaking his thumb and palm, you were close. Lighter was, too. Lighter was so close. And all he wanted to do was fill you up fill your insides tell you were leaking.

You felt him sink his teeth into your shoulder before the both of you exploded at the same time. Lighter can feel you milking him as he came harder than he ever did in his life.

For the first time since he first started training, his body felt sore as he practically collapsed on top of you before quickly rolling off so he doesn't crush you.

When he finally catches his breath, He rolls over to your side, wrapping his arms around you and holding you to his chest, kissing your face.

"hey hey hey...shhh It's okay... It's okay we're done... I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

He'd never forgive himself if he did. But he got his answer when your arms wrapped back around him and he saw your beaming smile. He sighs in relief smiling back kissing your lips.

"I guess It's safe to say that you liked it.... Good... I did too."

[soft-pine]

spn20rewatch: 1.18 something wicked

say your desk is covered with a pile of paperclips. something wicked is the magnet you drop in the middle and then they all stick to it; they're all connected.

it's all here. the parentification, the neglect, the way john treats dean which sam doesn't witness, the extreme likelihood that john was using his kids as bait, and the intentional, specific, glorious, lovely ways dean has specifically chosen not to be like his dad.

in the flashbacks, we see dean is in charge of feeding and looking after sam for (at least) three days in some random motel room with the shades drawn. he's not even supposed to go outside. he doesn't have a number for john, just the instruction that if john's not back by a certain time, he's supposed to call pastor jim.

we see john giving dean instructions and responsibility (and criticisms) which he's not giving to sam.

dean is at most 11 years old (ep takes place in 2006. dean says the case from when he was a kid was 16-17 years ago (1989/1990). john's journal places it in 1988; dean was 9)

crucially, even as an adult, dean barely talks to sam about what he remembers of the case when he was a kid. he lets go of little bits at a time and absolutely necessary to the case. but he does not want to process what happened. even when he's so torn up that he breaks down and explains what happened, he doesn't want to talk about it. in part, of course, because he's ashamed of failing to kill the shtriga. but also because dean keeps john's secrets (9.07). and even when he doesn't, sam is not who he tends to process with.

but it's deeply impactful to have an episode where we get to see how dean was treated as a child versus how he treats the kids he meets.

dean is so kind to children throughout season 1, from lucas in 1.03 to lily and charlie in 1.05 to michael here. there is something so great about the way he is both clear that the bad things aren't these kid's fault, while also understanding kids have agency and insight.

i know dean is torn up about using michael as bait for the shtriga but feels he doesn't have much of a choice in order to stop the thing. but the conversation he has with michael is so thorough it really gets me.

DEAN: This camera has night vision on it so we'll be able to see clear as day.... Are we good? SAM: A hair to the right... There, there. MICHAEL: What do I do? DEAN: Just stay under the covers. MICHAEL: And if it shows up? DEAN: We'll be right in the next room. We're gonna come in with guns. So, as soon as we do you roll off this bed and you crawl under it. MICHAEL: What if you shoot me? DEAN: We won't shoot you. We're good shots. We're not going to fire until you're clear ok? Have you heard a gunshot before? MICHAEL: Like in the movies? DEAN: It's gonna be a lot louder than in the movies. So I want you to stay under the bed, cover your ears, do not come out until we say so. You understand? DEAN: Michael, you sure you wanna do this? DEAN: You don't have to, it's ok, I won't be mad. MICHAEL: No I'm ok. Just don't shoot me. DEAN: We're not going to let anything happen to you. I promise.

what a specific contrast that is with

DEAN hesitates, terrified. As he does JOHN bursts through the front door, gun raised. JOHN: (Shouting) Get out of the way! DEAN ducks and JOHN shoots the shtriga multiple times with his hand gun.

something wicked is up there with monster at the end of the book for episode titles that'll make you crazy if you think about it too much.

some other thoughts are just, the first time i watched this scene i thought i was going to explode with love:

DEAN: Yeah well, first of all, I'm not going to open fire in a freakin' pediatrics ward.... Second, wouldn't have done any good, because the bastard's bullet proof unless he's chowing down on something. And third, I wasn't packing, which is probably a really good thing cause I probably would have just burned a clip in him on principle alone.

moral compass boy i would die for you a thousand times and get up and gladly do it again.

and nothing - i mean nothing - hits like dean's voice cracking over the "if it means anything sometimes i do too." like i could actually go insane.

also watching supernatural is how you fill up a computer disc with pictures of dean looking ever so beautiful. like. look at him!! ethereal!!

also also ilu microaggression michael. they should have brought you back in the finale, king.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Japan is Winning on Kisses & Other Alternate Realities

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - It would be great if we got the alternative romance with dead Kram from Tai’s perspective (JBL style.) Still I like this show. It’s a little bit like I Feel You Linger in the Air only with a love triangle. And while I'm not a fan of triangles as a general rule, I don’t mind it here because the set up is clever. Wayu and  ao are fun sides too. It sure is moving very quickly, which I like. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on. But that’s normal for me with this kind of Thai drama. 

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 4 of 8 - They are extremely sappy boyfriends. I love that mom has a secret gf. Could we please have more of them? The love triangle sides are ridiculous, but I do like that it’s all out in the open. I also like they are actually addressing the complicated parental dynamics of owning a sex club. Honestly, I think Khem should have to be a host too. Learn him the right way, girl!

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - It’s good, I like the fallout and them actually having to deal with crazy fans and past relationships. They’re so good at communicating it’s kind of a pleasure to watch them suffer through external pressures, because I have faith that they can make it through.

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 6 of 8 - They are such cute puppy dads and so clearly meant to be together, the fact that they aren’t is just frustrating. The fight thing was stupid. And not a whole lot happened... plus singing. I’m getting fatigued with this one. 

1000 Years Old ep 7 of 12 - Did I miss something happening, or did nothing happen? 

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 6 - It’s so boring, there’s so much guitar playing, and it got weirdly voyeuristic (in a very much not sexy way). I’m totally out. DNF

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) ep 3 of 6 - I can’t tell if this is trying to be a BL Romancing the Stone, or a BL Hangover, or both. The problem with situational comedy is it must be both situational and comedic, not just option one. The problem with calling something BL, is that it must be BL. This show got 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. DNF 

Honestly, it's the HANDS with these two. They do beautiful beautiful things with their hands. If you're one of those hands-obsessed BLabies you should be watching LIBTSTA!

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube & Viki) ep 6 of 11 - So the worst finally happened. The mountain of pain has fallen down upon us. And now, hopefully in the second half things get better for our boys. But what a rough ride. Normally, this is not my style of BL, but everyone is doing such a gorgeous job with it, I can’t fault it… except that it hurts. The red thread symbolism was elegantly done. I’d like to hope we get a reunion in the next one, but knowing this style of series they’re gonna draw it out. There's gonna be a more pain first.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - Those fuck me puppy dog eyes were perfectly executed. I would not have been able to resist either. Gosh they are so damn cute. This is a great show.

Jazz for Two (Korea Gaga/grey) eps 1-2 of 8 - This comes from the Shoulder to Cry On team so I'm scared, but this one is all actors* not idols so maybe they'll be braver. Boy howdy does it have a fantastic opening sequence. Also the lead is fucking adorable. Mr Broody McBroodypants is cute too. Korea sure loves “pretty but broken.” On the JBL end of the spectrum, is everyone in love with their siblings? That’s weird. The dining room scene was painful. All in all, it's good, I'm intrigued. Let's see how you go little show.

I stand absolutely corrected the lead is a member of NEWKIDD (in my defense I'd never heard of them until Build Up last month). I did recognize him from To My Star because at the time I thought he was too pretty to be only a side character.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 10 fin - Again there was overuse of previous footage and maudlin navel-gazing grief over something we knew was going to happen. So I didn’t really feel much emotional connection to the drama. 7 year time gap.? t was a cute reunion but the moral quandary never really got resolved. I don’t know how to rate this, I’m not sure I will ever watch it again, so that is a big mark against it.

There’s nothing objectively wrong with this BL except how upsetting it is because of the foundational pygmalion story - grown man falls in love with an android who is basically both his slave and, by maturity level, a child. Yet that premise is crystal clear from the get go, so we watch it eyes open. The actors are cute, the romance sweet, the physical chemistry on point (of course, it’s Taiwan) and yet I was left ultimately unsettled by the concept, content, and plot. 7/10 

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - I'm so ready for this to be over, and for Gaga to have something good on. Soon please?

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) - It's too much to ask me to keep up with 2 minute verticals, I don't have that kind of TikTok endurance training. Waiting to binge.

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Tangential to the genre

There has been the occasional discussion on this topic here in this little corner of tumblr so I thought there might be a few intersted in this podcast: AmericanThaiGuy Ron Weaver on the Complicated Issue of Racism in Thailand (The Bangkok Podcast)

Thailand passed its Marriage Equality bill through the lower house. It's expected to pass the high house and get signed by the King, but that hasn't quite happened yet.

And MaxTul dropped a photo shoot.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting Soon

3/31 Only Boo! (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, baby boy idol can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.

3/31 The Next Prince (Thai ????) 12 eps - trailer. ZeeNew in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince - YES PLEASE. (Apparently this is just the pilot, not the start of the actual show, see comments.)

4/1 Love is like a Cat (Korea ????) 12 eps - This completed filming Aug 2022(!) which means there have been serious problems with post-production. This is another of Silkwood's Korean+Thai colab projects. Mew Suppasit plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish animal daycare director (JM of JUST B). There is a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. Geonu of JUST B is also in the cast. Dual languages.

Hum, trash-watch-a-licious?

4/3 We Are (Thai GMMTV YouTube iQIYI) 12 eps - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN!

4/11 Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan ????) 10 eps - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why, they fall in love along the way. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake.

4/11 Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea ????) 4 eps - SooHyuk is only just surviving and reunites with YoonDae, an old friend. They end up living together. One of the leads is played by Choco of Choco Milk Shake.

4/18 At 25:00, in Alaska AKA 25 Ji, Akasaka de (Japan Gaga - may not be global) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn.

Seriously? You're killing me with these titles, boys.

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks well complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner) and Best, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Just these two, in my head, rent free. Thanks Japan!

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy. (With so many tags when does a weekly tumblr post become a newsletter? That is this week's philosophical question...)

[love-byers]

Hi! Not gonna lie I was a bit disappointed that you believe the birthday gate stuff... The Duffers wouldn't have admitted to have made a mistake if that were the case. And most of all, it would've come up in volume 2! Now if something happens in S5 it would just feel like they came up with it during the 3 years between S4 and S5. They can say it was planned all they want, people would call bullshit, and rightfully so. I'm sorry I can not believe how anyone can think birthday gate could be a real thing. Not to mention it doesn't even make any sense. Please bylers let's just accept the Duffers made a mistake!!

i disagree with everything you said

1. "the duffers wouldn't have admitted to have made a mistake if that were the case"

they lied.

the duffers are sneaky snakes who want us to analyze and always be looking for little details. they have literally said there are no coincidences in the show.

so yes, i completely believe that they would go out of their way to lie in order to save the surprise for s5. i mean actually think about it, if it really was just a mistake, why would they not just fix it?? they have the full power to just do a little voiceover edit and boom, problem solved. they explained exactly how they'd do it. but they didn't. 2 years have passed and they still haven't changed it when that little tweak would literally solve all their problems if it really was a mistake.

they lied. they're liars.

2. "it would've come up in vol 2"

since when does every single problem have to be solved in one season?? do you know what show you're watching??

there are hints and foreshadowing all over the seasons. vecna is foreshadowed in s1 ep1 when will's door was opened with telekinesis, and we had no idea he existed until 6 years and 3 seasons later.

in s1 they don't fully explain how will was communicating with joyce. but after s4 everything clicks into place.

they show us that will can clearly hear her and is finding a way to make the lights light up. then in ep 8 they show joyce and hopper making the christmas lights light up as they walk through the byers upside down house. jonathan sees this and asks if it's joyce, and joyce hears him.

that isn't addressed AT ALL in s2 or s3. it is fully explained and explored in s4, when nancy steve eddie and robin are stuck in the upside down. they fully show us how it works and acknowledge that it was how will communicated with joyce.

the creators knew exactly how the light upside down stuff worked the entire show. but it wasn't time for it to be explained just yet. it was meant to come up later on. it's a masterful way to write a story with longevity.

stranger things teaches you to never just write something off. everything is important. don't let it go just because it hasn't been fully explained. there will be payoff.

3. "now if it comes up in s5 it would just feel like they came up with it the 3 years between s4 and s5. people would call bullshit."

respectfully i think you're projecting a bit.

the average viewer who does not spend their time on forums is not going to think that whatsoever. the average viewer is going to think "wait what?!", go back and watch s4 ep 2, and think "holy shit it was planned all along that's so cool!"

like that's such a dumb way of thinking. you have to be a master level hater to see a well written plot twist and think "they just did that to cover their asses" like that's some next level hating

and i guarantee you once s5 comes out the duffers will be like "yeah of course we had to lie you guys were too close to figuring it out!"

david harbour has talked about how hard it was for him to flat out lie to people about hopper being dead. it's really not that crazy to think they lied

4. "it doesn't even make any sense"

....it does.

i don't know how you could think it doesn't make sense

rink o mania day was march 22nd. will's birthday. they have not changed his birthday. his official canonical birthday is still march 22nd.

but no one mentions it. even will doesn't seem to know it's his birthday.

s4 is all about memories and trauma and feeling isolated from others. we also literally learn there is a powerful monster man who can read minds and enter other people's memories, just like el can. so i don't see how it's so outlandish to think there's some memory fuckery going on.

of course we can't explain exactly why or how, because it hasn't been adressed yet. you have to wait for the pay off.

5. "just accept the duffers made a mistake"

i would accept that they made a mistake if they actually fixed the mistake LIKE THEY SAID THEY WOULD. they said "we are going to edit the episode and change it to say may 22nd" and then DIDNT. EVER.

and not only that, they wished him happy birthday on march 22nd 2 years in a row. noah schnapp posted a bts photo on march 22nd 2024 with the caption "Do you know what March 22nd is? It's your birthday. - Joyce Byers"

they are saying "yes it's still his birthday so get hyped for s5 where it'll be addressed" every way they can without spelling it out for you.

i really don't know what more you need

[bu-blegh-ost]

Let's analyze Captain Rose's final message (ep. 113 spoilers!!!)

I have transcribed the entire thing into my notes, and there are few parts that I believe give us some subtle hints to important lore bits. So let's take a look at these fragments, shall we?

"Even with the Emperor’s gracious accommodations, I can never feel at ease unless I’m sleeping on the sea. Tomorrow, we depart this beautiful country for one last ride."

Nothing that crazy here, but now we have a better grasp at the timeline. So this confirms, that the last place Black Rose Pirates have been to, before they departed for the final adventure led by Hendrix's map was Onowa Country, and judging by what comes next, the chest was also created and left there during that last stay.

"But…if you’re hearing this, it means we all died."

If you recall, Drey mentioned few episodes back, that thier final excursion was of little significance, barely worth remebering. But here Rose is, about to embark on it, his last adventure before he retires, and he believes that he's going to die. That they all are. Rose must have hidden the true importance of this adventure from the rest of his crew. He KNEW that it's very likely they are not coming back from it, he KNEW he is not actually retiring. So, the question is, did Rose truly meant to leave life at sea for his wife and children, or did he chose to retire cause he knew he was about to die and he needed an excuse, to tie all the loose ends before he goes without alarming anyone?

"Even so, freedom can look so different for the individual. Not every pirate’s gonna play fair. I’ve been prepping for this moment a long time. The day I’d be outmaneuvered."

Something happened to Rose before that. If you ask me, something must have been put on Rose. A spell? A deal perhaps? Something must have happened between Rose and Hendrix (I can't be sure it was him ofc, but I feel like it is pretty obvious at this point). The map he gave him was a final retirement gift. Whatever happened, Hendrix surely did or offered something that made Rose unable to refuse the last adventure. Rose was forced to open the Hole in the Sea. He was forced to attempt to free the Nameless Prince, and he knew, he is bringing his crew to possible death. He knew they may not make it out of the sea in time, before whatever he had to do takes effects, before the sea turns black. I don't believe he would do this if he could find another way. This line makes me feel like he was tricked, finally cornered by Hendrix. It would also make sense why Rose never listened to Finn's warnings when he told him abt Hendrix hiding his true arcane ability. It's possible he knew already. It's possible he was already chained by it.

"Now I fear, we’ll be remembered for something we didn’t do."

The hole in the sea. The one thing people always mention when Black Rose pirates are concerned. He was right. But it only proves, that Rose in this entire game was a tool. Just a person forced to do another's bidding, to be at the right place, at the right time. A sacrifice, but not a player. Niklaus told Chip it was Rose who opened the Hole in the Sea. And he was right, kinda. TECHNICALLY it was Rose. But he was not acting of his free will. He was forced to do it. And who made him? Well, probably the one person who knows that it was him.

"Anyways, I think I should have cared about how my friends would remember me. My family…"

A beautiful comparison between Chip and Rose. Rose sought fullfillment, legacy, Chip sought to recreate his childhood, but they both realised that what they always wanted in the end was family. Rose realized it too late, Chip did so on time. And he did manage to create a family he can feel content about, be proud of. Rose's story is a reminder for him, of how things could have ended.

"If my wife is still alive, tell her, tell our child, her child, I’m sorry."

Rose left Onowa knowing he will not retire. He knew he lied to his wife when he told her that he'll raise their child with her. Did he ever mean it? Did he know that he is doomed from the start, or was there a true intention of going back to her, before Hendrix came and his fate was sealed? Also, that makes me think that Reuben is not Rose's biological son. "OUR child" refers to the kid they had together, "HER child" might refer only to his wife's son, to Reuben. Still, he must have cared for him enough to decide that he also deserved apology.

"Thanks for coming to look for us. I knew you would.

Take care, Chip. "

I wonder if he actually knew. Could Hendrix promise him that Chip would be saved? He didn't seem to expect anyone else to make it, so it's possible that either Chip was supposed to play a special role in some way, or maybe he already did, or he was guaranteed to make it out alive regardless of the circumstances to make the journey he is on now. That could mean that Riptide Pirates were truly always destined to meet.

Okay, that will be most of my thoughts! Feel free to share yours!

[watchingblsnowandforever]

We Are Ep.14: Part 1/3

Hello!!! =D

Welcome back to my crack posts!

Part 2, Part 3

Ep 14 ruined me, just so y'all know. I'm honestly scared for what the next episode will do to me. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

Warning: long, long post 😊😅 (also divided into three parts this time because I wanted to screenshot the whole damn thing, but this is next best)

I did not expect Q to be the one to stand up for Phum, but I wasn't really surprised after the last ep. Previously, he'd be the first one to go up in arms, but he's starting to understand maybe everything isn't that straightforward, and despite his friends meddling in his own relationship, he wants to leave Peem alone.

Conclusion: he's a very good friend.

Of course. I should've known something like this would come up 😭

Of course they've taken baths together.

I love this friendship so much.

You again. 😶 I swear to the gods, this guy will give me high blood pressure or something. Please please just leave Peem, alone. Learn to take a 'no' and mantain social distancing.

Peem... you're too kind for your own good. (I get it though)

You have no right to say that, especially without knowing the full story. But I'm feeling kind, so you're still a (mostly) decent human to me. Try not to ruin that impression. And never, ever again say anything to my babie Phum. Ever.

Oh my gods my heart broke for Tan 🥺 Here he was, probably never having dated after he fell for Fang, so knowing that Fang had dated even after whatever they went through must be so painful to him.

FANG KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG AND HOW TO FIX IT.

Just like we see Tan waving away Fang's insecurities every time, Fang does the very same for Tan.

I love them. <33

🥺🫶🏼

They're both so whipped-

Fai: I didn't see anything 👀😗 (we all know she's fangirling so hard inside)

Fai is me, I am Fai.

No but, Phum, are you sure Peem staring at you for a long time won't make your heart race?

Whipped. They're both so goddamn whipped. *sighs fondly*

The horns I'm dying 😭😂

Phum wasn't even surprised 😭👍🏼

Okay, not the best impromptu band performance/concert I've seen, but this is Thai BL, and they need some music and at least like 10 scenes with some band to pass whatever standard of approval, so I'll let it slide. Also, I'm terribly fond of these idiots. <3

HANDS.

They're besties for a reason hehe

You're asking the question, but are you ready for the answer?

I have already gone crazy over this too many times, I really don't have the energy anymore.

Peem is definitely winning Best Non-Confession Confession of the Year Award.

Are we still talking about the painting, or...?

Honestly though, when he was saying this I got actual flashbacks of Phum kicking the ball into his painting and how their relationship developed from there till where they are right now.

HE-

He named it "Happy" because it's all the things that make him happy. 😶

I had to pause here to take a deep breath so I didn't break out in tears two eps in a row.

WHAT IS THIS SERIES DOING TO ME.

Also, taken together, they are a story in 3 pics.

I'm just gonna go sob in the corner.

When faced with that smile and that "na, Peem, na" how could he ever deny Phum anything 😭

Textbook definition of a blushing boy who just became boyfriends with his crush the boy he loves. <3

No, he thinks he's a babygirl and rightfully so.

THIS HUG. That's it. That's all I have to say. I have no words for how this made me feel, and will make me feel for the rest of the forseeable future.

I end Part 1 here. Part 2 and 3 will be out tomorrow (because they are quite a bit long and I have Thoughts about them that I need to write in detail)!

If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading!! 😊

Here, have a taco 🌮

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter fourteen: "A pearl in my head"

Summary: Spencer and his wife are trying to deal with their issues, but things are more complicated than just a few silly arguments about dirty dishes. Spencer plans to go to Mexico by the way...    Word count: 10.871 Warning:  Criminal Mind spoilers S12 Ep 21 and 22, plus smut, angst, fights. This chapter has is all. It even has Cat Adams.  A/N: I'm sorry I didn't update in the last few weeks, things haven't been easy here. Hopefully I can make it up to you with this chapter.  

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(Y/N)’s point of view

There are no words to explain how hard life was at that moment. Living with Diana was, for the lack of a better word, “challenging.” Spencer took some extra time off to help Diana transition and get used to Nurse Cassie, to trust her, and to basically not yell at her every waking minute of the day.

The nights were a little better. She would take her medicine and sleep at least nine hours straight. She would wake up a little lost, sometimes scared, a few times screaming. That wasn’t helpful around the children. Raven was fully aware her Memaw was sick. Of course, she didn’t understand her disease. We constantly discussed whether we were doing the right thing for Raven and Vincent. Diana wasn’t gonna hurt them, or so we hoped. They really didn’t get to see her much, only under our supervision, which meant my mother was taking care of them a lot those weeks.

I couldn’t stay at Quantico. Emily had required me to travel with the team, which I understood. She tried to keep me at the police station though, working with families and making geographical profiles. That was probably the smartest thing to do, a part of my brain stayed at home with Spencer each time we had to go to a case out of town.

And I could see the state he was in each time I laid on the bed next to him, how he couldn’t sleep. He was restless, trying to find a way to help his mother. It was an obsessive thought that hunted him day and night. He wanted to find a way to help her get better. I tried to tell him a few times that spending time with her and enjoying the good moments was the best way he could help her. But no. He wanted to find the cure for Alzheimer's and dementia, and have enough time to cook dinner I guess. It was crazy and absolutely unachievable.

After two more weeks, my husband returned to work. Diana was getting along with nurse Cassie, though she still had moments of severe confusion and paranoia. During that first day out of the house, while we were stuck in traffic, I asked him if he was sure he wanted to return.

- “Maybe you could still help from home. I don’t know if having you away will help your mom.” - I explained and looked at him. His eyes were stuck on traffic in front of us, and his hands gripped the wheel.

- “No, chipmunk. I need to focus on something else for a while at least. My conscience will be working on the case and my unconscious will be able to think of ways to help my mother.”

My first reaction was to laugh, but I didn’t, thank god. ‘Cos I knew my husband was serious about his delusion, and I couldn’t just break his heart like that.

- “I just don’t know if staying at home with Cassie will be good for her. We could try to find a place here in Washington that could be good for her. We would be near and could visit three times a week or more.”- I suggested innocently.

- “Mom needs to get to know Nurse Cambell, I can’t be there all the time.”

I dropped the subject there and started rambling about Raven. Our little girl was going great in preschool and my mom had recently taught her to jump the rope, something that obsessed our daughter. That brought a smile to my husband’s face and that made me feel a little better. I could see Spencer’s struggle and how he was still keeping things from me, probably not to worry me. The fact he still felt like he had to deal with things on his own to protect me made me so sad and angry. I just hoped things didn’t end as badly as they had when Emily was supposed to be dead.

We had to go to Santa Monica that week to solve a very gory case. Torsos were showing up around town. Men who had recently broken up with their significant others were the unsub’s target. While we were away, Spencer called nurse Cambell and talked to her about Diana’s health many times. I took a step aside ‘cause I didn’t want to be pushy. I knew he would tell me what was on his mind when he felt ready to talk.

And he was ready when we caught the unsub: the murderer was ready to kill his own husband when we got to him. When the police took the killer, Spencer stayed behind to talk with the victim and then with Prentiss, who knew there was something wrong with my husband but didn't have the time to talk directly with him until then. I stared at them from a distance, trying to figure out what was gonna happen when we got home.

- “Spence has been under a lot of stress lately.”- JJ stood next to me and rubbed my arm.- “How are you holding up?”

- “We deal with it. We try to enjoy the good moments, and manage the bad.”- I replied and cut her a short smile. I really didn’t want to ramble with her about how messy our lives were at the moment.

- “I’ve been trying to get a minute to talk to Spence. I feel like he needs a friend right now.”- I slowly turned and looked at JJ. She widened her eyes and started gesticulating and explaining.- “Not that you are not of any help, of course! It’s just that sometimes you need an outsider’s point of view, someone who isn’t in the middle of the whole situation. You know, to get some perspective of the problem.”

I just nodded and stared at her, raising an eyebrow. JJ was clearly uncomfortable talking to me, yet she had been the one to approach me and bring Diana into the dull conversation we were sharing. If you can call that a conversation.

- “Chipmunk.”- Spencer stood a few feet away from me after a short talk with Prentiss, and I walked towards him.

- “How are you feeling?”- I asked and held his hand as we walked a little farther from the team.

- “I got the feeling this isn’t working.”

And my heart stopped. I turned to him nearly in shock and though it took him more than a second to realize what was happening, my husband finally explained.

- “No! No! No! That’s not what I meant! I mean my mom!”- Spencer explained and placed both hands on my shoulder.

- “Never say that again! You nearly killed me!”

- “I’m sorry! Sorry, chipmunk!”- Spencer kissed the top of my head and I sighed at his touch.- “I meant everything that’s going on with my mom.”- he paused and looked into my eyes, keeping his hands on my shoulder- “I feel like I made a mistake.”

- “It hasn’t been easy, I'll give you that. But I wouldn’t call it a mistake.”

- “I’m thinking about flying to Houston. Maybe I can talk to Dr. Stanfield. I asked Em for some more time off.”

I nodded as I heard him, thinking how strong my husband was. He kept trying to find ways to help Diana and make her happy, beyond her disease. So I nodded and fought the tears that hunted my eyes, and he hugged me tight.

- “I’m sorry hun.”- I whispered and wrapped my arms around him.- “I just… think this whole thing is so unfair for you.”

- “Don’t worry, ma cherie… it’s not your fault”

- “But I wanna make you happy, and life keeps getting in the way.”- Spencer kissed my temple and I took a deep breath to put myself together.

- “You make me happy, and you are my life. Never think otherwise.”

Spencer’s point of view

I lied to my wife. Again. I wasn’t planning on going to Texas. I wanted to go to Mexico and talk to Dr. Nadine Ramos, maybe get more of her natural medicine to help my mom. I knew that would stabilize her. Why couldn’t I tell (Y/N) the truth? I don’t know. Probably ‘cause I felt like I was doing something wrong. It all had started behind her back and I was so embarrassed to tell her I, the most pragmatic man on earth, was trusting homeopathic medicine, and risking my job in the process, just to make sure I was covering all the grounds helping my mom’s Alzheimer's and schizophrenia.

The day I was leaving started off. Raven didn’t want to eat and she was running a little fever, so (Y/N) asked her to stay in bed and sleep a little longer. The weird part was watching her do as told, considering she was always eager to get out of bed and play. But sadly, that wasn’t it. My bag was next to the door and I was just about to call a cab when Vinny started puking and crying. He was running a fever as well.

- “Where did you get that ring?”- my mom yelled suddenly, as (Y/N) held Vinny and tried to clean him and herself from all the vomit.- “That’s my grandma’s ring!! Why do you have it?”

And before I knew it, mom was on (Y/N), trying to rip the ring she gave me to propose to my wife. She didn’t mind Vinny was on the way, she was out of herself, and (Y/N), covered in puke, could only try to cover our baby son from his Memaw.

- “Mom! Mom! Calm down!”- I ran and wrapped my arms around my mother, pushing her away from my wife, as she kept kicking and screaming, out of her mind.

- “She is a thief! You can’t trust her, Spencer! She is gonna steal everything we have!”

- “Mom, I need you to stop yelling! you are scaring Vincent!”

- “Why do you worry so much about a kid you can’t even be sure it’s yours!!”

It was as if the whole world froze. Mom had had episodes, she had been crazy, and violent with me and some caregivers. But never with my wife and neither with my kids. And that was the one thing that gave me peace of mind. But that day, it was an eye-opener.

I was not going to be the husband who left his wife alone with two sick kids and a mental mother-in-law. So I canceled my flight and held Vincent so (Y/N) could take a shower. I also gave my mother a sleeping pill and asked her to lie down for a bit. Surprisingly, she didn’t fight me. For a brief minute that afternoon, my mom cooperated. That didn’t make our weekend any easier, though. Raven got the hand, mouth, and foot disease, which meant Vinny most probably had it as well. We got the pediatrician to come home and put an eye on them, there wasn’t much we could do but give them something for the pain, disinfect the entire apartment, and wait around ten days for the virus to go away.

We didn’t sleep much the following week. Between sick kids and disinfecting every toy in the house, we had our hands full. I had those days off, but (Y/N) had to go to work. Luckily, she didn’t have to leave town for a case.

- “Let me hold him a little, darling.”- Mom stood next to my wife and raised her arms, to hold Vincent.- “You look like you could use a nap. Let me help you two.”- my wife didn’t hesitate and handed her our baby son. Moments like those were the ones keeping us sane. Mom smiled and kissed Vincent’s forehead.

- “He is still running a little fever.”- (Y/N) whispered and stared at the two of them from our couch.

- “Yes, he still feels a little warm, but he is looking better. Look at those eyes wide open, staring at the world. I remember when Spencer was this small. I could tell he was meant for big things. And he didn’t let me down.”

I looked at my mother from our dining room table, where I was drawing with Raven, sitting on my lap. Yes, those were the moments that gave me hope. But I couldn’t live in those fragments, ‘cos they weren’t our entire reality.

So I called doctor Dr. Stanfield, and tried to get mom back into the Houston facility, but it was impossible. I should have seen it coming, it was a place with a very high demand ‘cause it was top on their field. I just never imagined things would go so wrong with her at home. When I took her out I was sure she would live with us until she got better. (Y/N) was the one of us who was still mainly positive, I don’t know how. She said I could call Las Vegas to the mental facility she had been in for years. It made sense, mom had said she wanted to “go back to the place she was before before,” and she still talked about her friends there. But no, they couldn’t take her back. It was heartbreaking when I heard their decision, and though I tried to change their minds and literally beg, there was nothing they could do.

There wasn’t much left but to start looking for a new facility for my mother, which somehow made me feel selfish and like a failure.

We took our time looking for a new facility, and Cassie was of much help because she knew most of the centers in the state. There was one last tiny problem: the one we liked and that could accept my mother asked us to wait for another two months to take her in, ‘cos they were building a whole new center and were about to move.

- “It’s just two months, honey.”- (Y/N) whispered as we cuddled in our bed after putting the kids and my mother to sleep.

- “A lot can go wrong in two months.”- I replied under my breath and felt my wife’s kiss on my cheek.

- “I know you are scared, but are not alone. You’ve got me and our friends, and my parents. We are all here for you.”

It wasn’t the first time my wife reminded me that I wasn’t alone. But like every time she did, a few tears filled my eyes and my heart raised inside my chest. I couldn’t reply. I just melted in her embrace and sighed, decided to, for once, not overthink things.

Of course, easier said than done. Those two months were hell. I had never had many fights with my wife, but those weeks were a build-up of so many little things that were driving us nuts. It really wasn’t our best moment, and it was not what we wanted to have our married life based on: arguments.

I missed Morgan. I was sure he would know what to say. We would go out for a drink and have a heart-to-heart. He would laugh and call me kid and then drop the best advice I could ask for. I did call him once, but it just wasn’t the same as having him there, knowing what was going on in my life. After he moved back to Chicago with Savannah and little Hank, we struggled to keep up with our lives. As it usually happens with adulthood, I guess.

But in the absence of Morgan, I still had friends in town.

- “You know what you need?”- Frank sipped his beer and looked at me from his seat at the other side of the table. We were at the same bar where I had asked (Y/N) to marry me. Me, Frank, and Mikey eating a burger and having a beer after work.- “You need a weekend to decompress from all this bullshit.”

- “We can’t take more time off work.”- I replied and sipped my beer shaking my head. But Frank kept explaining his idea.

- “I’m not saying go out on a cruise. You could actually even stay in town and go to a nice hotel, get some couple’s massages, maybe a nice dinner with candlelight. All that shit Nugget loves.”- Frank grabbed a bunch of fries after he finished talking and I simply sighed.

- “It’s not that easy. We have two kids and we still have my mom at home.”

- “Exactly why you should do it.”- Mikey said and supported Frank’s plan.- “We could take care of the little rascals.”

- “And you have a caretaker that will keep your mom company.”- Frank added as he kept chewing.- “It’s either that or wait another three weeks for your mom to get to the medical center, and I don’t think your marriage can wait that long. Can it?”

Were things that bad? Yes. We were arguing about the silliest things, ‘cos we were both so exhausted we couldn’t even think. We were always tired and busy and never seemed to have a moment to be together until late at night, and sometimes not even then, ‘cos Vincent was sharing a room with us since my mother was living with us, so we were pretty much always around someone.

I don’t mean to sound hormonal, but I needed to be alone with my wife and get some couple’s time and real rest. Frank’s advice made sense after all. So I talked to Emily about it.

- “Trying to get some romantic time with your wife?”- she asked and winked. - “Ready for baby number three?”

- “Definitely not! Vinny is just one year old, and we are barely making it with two.”

Maybe my confession had been too straightforward 'cause Prentiss frowned as I sat on the couch in her office and sipped my cup of coffee.

- “I just need Friday off so I can take my wife away for the weekend.”

- “Of course…”- she stared at me in silence and sat by my side, holding a cup of hot beverage of her own. - “We haven’t had time to talk lately. JJ told me she is worried about you.”

- “We haven’t had time to do much in the last few months. That’s why I think Frank convinced me taking (Y/N) on a romantic getaway will help us get through the last weeks before Mom moves out.”- Emily nodded and didn’t say another word for a moment.

- “Are you sure you are ok? You look exhausted.”

- “I feel exhausted. I know we both do. It’s been more challenging than we both expected. And trust me, we knew this wasn’t going to be a day at the beach.”

- “That reminds me, Rossi has a house in Kent Island. Maybe you guys could go there.”- but I shook my head right away

- “I don’t wanna bother him.”

- “He would be thrilled to help you.”- I continued telling Prentiss not to ask Rossi, but she kept arguing it was a good idea. And we were just bickering about it when (Y/N) knocked and opened the door.

- “Sorry to interrupt. Here are the files you asked for, Em.”

- “You are just in time, Reid. Help me convince your husband Rossi would be pleased to lend you his beach house.”- Em chuckled as she spoke, but my wife frowned, totally lost.

- “Why would he do that?”

- “For your romantic getaway.”- Emily stated matter of factly. (Y/N) looked at her and then looked at me, crossing her arms on her chest.- “The one Spencer clearly hadn’t told you yet. I’m so sorry…”

- “I was just asking for Friday off to… well… have a few days to relax on our own.”- I whispered as I walked toward my wife and watched her staring at me… upset?

- “You could have asked me first.”- she muttered under her breath.

- “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you when I had everything ready, so you didn’t have to worry about anything.”

- “What about the kids?”

- “I talked to your mom. She said she could take care of them, and your dad will help.”- my wife nodded, but still scowled at the idea.

- “My dad has been using the kids as an excuse to be around mom a lot lately.”- I chuckled at those words and simply answered.

- “He just wants to be helpful.”- (Y/N) sighed at my words and turned to Emily.

- “Tell me more about this house in Kent Island.”

(Y/N)’s point of view

Leaving the kids with my mom seemed like the most selfish thing to do. There were so few weekends we got to stay home. So little time we were with them, ‘cos work and Diana were killing us. And yet, we did ‘cos we needed a break from life.

Mom said she was happy to help, and Spencer was right, my dad was gonna help the entire weekend. He was considering retiring soon, and he was already getting used to having a few days off. My husband thought he was sure my mom and my dad were gonna have a second chance. I wasn’t so certain, though I always dreamed of them getting back together.

- “Think about it, chipmunk. They never really moved on. They never had a serious relationship after they broke up.”- he had told once after we dropped Raven with them.

- “You don’t know how they were when they were together. Trust me, those two are not getting back together.”

But they were amazing grandparents, and they were always there to have fun and take care of our kids. So, we dropped Raven and Vincent with them, left Diana with Cassie at our apartment, and drove all the way to Rossi’s place in Rose Haven.

I don’t know why I thought he had a humble, small, beach house there. Of course, he didn’t. It was Rossi after all. The place was ridiculously expensive and big. As soon as we walked in, I was sure someone was going to show up to tell us we were trespassing.

- “I don’t know why I thought about an actual cabin.”- Spencer said and left our bags in the master bedroom.

- “Me too…”- I looked around in silence until I finally looked at my husband.- “I’m glad you dragged me here.”

- “I didn’t drag you, chipmunk. You wanted to come.”- he replied with a smug smile as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my lips.- “And I’m glad we are here, we deserve some mommy and daddy alone time.”

- “That’s true”- I whispered and kissed him one more time. - “I love it when you make "daddy and mommy" sound so dirty when we are alone.”

- “You see through me, ma cheriè”- Spencer’s hands traveled down my back to my ass and gripped me tight.

- “Do you think Rossi knows we are gonna do it in his place?”- I had to ask, and my husband groaned against my lips as he stopped kissing me.

- “I didn’t want to think of that!”- I just laughed at his reaction, still holding him against me.

- “Like that’s not the sole purpose of this trip!”- I love teasing my husband.

- “I brought you here to relax and stop arguing about dirty dishes and laundry and who forgot to do what.”

- “And to fuck me in every single room of Rossi’s house.”

- “That too.”- he replied and rubbed his lips against mine, making me sigh.

- “And considering everybody back at home knows it, I think we should get started, doctor.”

Spencer laughed when I jumped and wrapped my legs around him, straddling him. He grabbed my ass and kept me steady as he deepened the kiss and my hands quickly moved to his hair, running through his curls.

- “I love your hair like this.”- I whispered and moved my lips to his neck as he walked us to the king-size bed behind us.- “You look so hot. Such a hot daddy.”

- “Hot daddy?”

- “That’s what all the teachers at Raven’s school are saying.”- I whispered and felt the weight of his body as he lay on me.- “You are her hot dad.”

- “Are you jealous, ma cherie?”- I felt his hot breath on my neck as his hands moved freely underneath my t-shirt

- “No…” - I paused and opened my mouth, already nearly moaning as his lips moved from my neck to my chest. Spencer raised his eyes and stared at me, knowing I was lying.- “Maybe… fine, yes. Yes, I am a little jealous of those women staring at you.”

- “You should be proud.”- he replied softly and rolled up my t-shirt, the one I quickly took off along with my bra, and his tongue immediately found my nipples, teasing and licking. The only things coming from my mouth now were moans and mumbles.

- “Maybe you should mark me, and show me around like yours, ma cherie.”

- “Mine.”- I whispered, arching my back and moving my hips upwards to find his erection. I needed some friction, anything to help me handle the heat. I knew I was already dripping wet. It had been too long. I was ready for my husband and I wasn’t even naked yet.

- “All yours. What are you gonna do with me?”

- “Fuck you until you can’t take it anymore.”- I replied, unzipping his pants. Spencer smiled and continued licking my breast, making me moan harder. He slowly made his way back to my lips and our mouth collided. I grabbed his dick in my hands and felt him groaning against me. Those are the things I like the most when we are together.

- “Someone is eager.”- he whispered in a cocky tone.

- “Your dick is dripping, that means so are you.”- I replied and he just kissed me harder. I knew he needed me the same way I needed him, and neither of us could wait any longer. I guided his hard cock to my entrance, just the sensation of the tip of it made me moan, I just wanted to feel him slipping into me slowly. Which is exactly what Spencer did next. I kept moaning and whimpering as he entered me slowly. Very, very slowly. I could feel every inch filling me.

Spencer rested his forehead against mine as he started moving inside of me. I kept staring at him, as he did the same, and my hands on his back kept him as close as possible.

- “You feel so good.”- Spencer whispered, his cheeks flushing and his voice trembling.- “Shit, I missed you.”

- “Me too.”- I managed to reply as he kept thrusting into me, hitting all the right places. We kiss heavily, and Spencer whispers he can hear how wet I am. I tell him that’s how he makes me and he curses a few times. I know he is close. So I am. It’s been too long, trust me, and my whole body is burning with each one of his thrusts.

- “Hon, I’m…”- I can’t even speak when my orgasm hits me. I’m scratching his back as I raise my hips and move so he is even deeper in me. He’s gasping loudly, coming with me, hiding his face on my neck, swearing, and losing control.

After a moment, still on top of me, trying to catch his breath, Spencer chuckles.

- “I had a more romantic plan than fucking five minutes after we got here, I promise.”- and his words made me laugh as I play with his hair and feel him rolling to the side, and rolling with him, so I’m laying next to him, still feeling the warm of his body and his arms around me.

- “This was actually my plan.”- I said and stuck my tongue to him.- “I needed to get under your belt as soon as possible or I was gonna murder someone.”

- “Really?”

- “SAA turned into an unsub due to the lack of sex. That would be a great movie.”

- “Write it down, I’ll produce it.”- Spencer kissed the top of my nose and stared at me.- “I love you, ma cherie.”

- “I love you too, honey.”- I whispered and sighed, enjoying every second of that moment.- “I’ve missed you so much. Just being with you not thinking something is gonna happen or that we have to do something.”

- “Me too. I’m sorry…”- but I placed a finger on his lips right away.

- “There is nothing to apologize for. I love you, we are together at this. Taking a break from the routine was a great idea.”

- “Frank’s idea, actually”- Spencer confessed.

- “Remind me of getting him some of his favorite beers when we get home.”

Spencer’s point of view

The whole getaway idea was brilliant. Me and my wife were enjoying every second of it. We had lunch out and walked to the pier and took a bunch of pictures, then we drove back home for a nap and some more lovemaking. When we woke up, we looked for a nice place for dinner, but before we headed out, I called home to talk to Cassie and know how my mom was doing, while (Y/N) talked with her mom and asked for our babies.

- “Yeah Mom, everything is ok. We are gonna have dinner now. I’m glad you and dad got everything under control. Let me know if anything happens.”- I stood by my wife as she wrapped up her call with Sofia.- “Spencer says hi.”

- “Can you ask her if she has seen my mom”- my wife stared at me confused

- “Wait, Mom. Spencer wants to know if Diana has stopped by today. Yeah, thought so. I don’t know. I’ll call you in a bit, ok?”- of course not. I don’t know why I asked.

- “Cassie ain’t picking up the phone.”- I announced, trying not to sound as freaked out as I was.

- “Did you try her cell?”

- “Yeah, and the apartment. Nothing.”

- “That’s weird.”- I nodded and stood next to my wife.- “What do you think might have happened?”

- “I don’t know. Maybe they are out for a walk.”- I suggested, but added right away - “But it’s too late for that.”

- “Wanna ask someone to stop by?”- (Y/N) suggested, but I really didn’t want to bother anyone.

- “I don’t know. Am I being too paranoid?”- I asked ‘cos I was in fact worried I was overreacting.

- “I don’t think so. I’d be more at peace if we knew everything was ok.”- my wife looked at her phone and asked.- “Want me to call Prentiss? Maybe she could stop by.”

- “Yeah, that’d be good.”- before (Y/N) even dialed, I just kept talking.- “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

- “Me too… but it might be due to exhaustion.”

- “I don’t know. In the last few days, I got the feeling I was going insane and kept waiting for something bad to happen. Maybe you are right, it could be just exhaustion.”

- “Maybe, maybe not.”- (Y/N) looked at me like there was something she wanted to add but didn’t want to worry me.

- “The other day I was sure our down-the-hall neighbor was that girl from a case like ten years ago…”- I confessed and my wife widened her eyes.

- “Lindsey Vaughn?”- there was no way she could have guessed that. We had worked on a thousand cases together.

- “Yeah, how did you know?”

- “I had the exact same thought the other day when I was getting home. I was almost sure I saw her walking down the street.”

We looked at each other for a second without saying a word. There was something off about the whole situation.

- “Prentiss, we need your help”- my wife said as soon as our friend picked up and put her on speaker.- “We need you to stop by our house. We think something happened to Diana.”

- “What are you talking about?”

- “Cassie ain’t picking up.”- I said and turned to my wife.- “We are going back home.”- and she nodded, then started gathering our things.

- “No, Reid. Stay there. It’s probably nothing.”

- “She ain’t picking up her cell and neither our apartment’s phone.”- (Y/N) yelled from the other side of the room.- “We are not gonna take any chances!”

- “Maybe she is with Sofia and the kids…”- Prentiss suggested.

- “Already called her. She hasn’t seen her. And there’s something else. We are both sure we saw Lindsey Vaughn in our building this week.”- I started explaining, but Em didn’t even know who I was telling her about.

- “Lindsey who?”

- “From a case in Chula Vista! She was kidnapped ten years ago, and her father was a hitman!”- I nearly yelled, already too nervous and upset to stay calm. Prentiss didn’t say anything for a few minutes. I knew she didn’t believe me and I was starting to lose it.

- “Reid…”

- “You remember, right? Her father, that case, April 2007? Her father's Jack Vaughn, a former hitman for the Irish mob. He and Lindsey were in Witness Protection. Lindsey and her friend Katie were abducted, Katie was killed, and Jack murdered the unsub in front of me.”- my voice was getting too high as I kept spitting facts from the pass to my unit chief, who most likely thought I was acting crazy.

- “Ok. Maybe you think you saw her…”- Emily tried to find a reasonable excuse, but my wife stopped her in her tracks.

- “We both saw her at two different times on our own. We just never talked about it because we thought we were being crazy and exhausted. But it can’t be a coincidence, Em. It never is.”- there was a short silence and our friend sighed.

- “I’ll stop by your apartment. I’ll call you as soon as I get there.”

- “Thanks Prentiss. We are getting into the car as we speak. Talk to you later.”- I dropped the line and sighed. (Y/N) had our things ready.

The hour-long drive back to Washington was hell. It didn’t get any better when Prentiss called us back and told us no one was home. She used the spare key we gave her a few years ago. We had all exchanged apartment keys as a way to make sure we always had each other’s back. And to keep Morgan from kicking our door down.

- “There’s no sign of an entry. Nothing seems off. The place doesn’t say abduction, but we can’t rule it out, all things considered.”- Prentiss explained as I accelerated and (Y/N) placed a hand on my leg to comfort me.

- “We’ll be there in an hour. Is there any way Garcia can help us track my mother?”

- “I’ll call her. Rossi is on his way to the BAU and I’m meeting him there.”

- “Thank you Emily.”- my wife remembered how to be polite in a minute where all I could do was to feel guilty about leaving my mother alone so I could have some romance with (Y/N). - “It’s not your fault.”- she whispered that very same second, and I bit my lips. I felt too guilty at the moment to say anything coherent. I just caressed her hand on my leg for a moment and locked my eyes on the road.

When we got to the BAU, the entire team was gathered in the conference room: Lewis, Alvez, Stephen, Garcia, JJ, and Emily. They turned to us with sorry eyes as soon as we walked in, and JJ immediately walked to me and hugged me tight. I wrapped an arm around her as she whispered and kissed my cheek.

- “We are gonna find her, Spence.”

- “Thank you.”- I replied and moved to have a seat at the table.- “What do we know so far?”

The team had covered the background of Lindsey and her father. How they had stayed in the witness protection program after the case that crossed our paths. Until that minute the only thing we knew was that my mom, Cassie, and her car were missing.

- “What about Cassie’s phone?”- (Y/N) asked and opened the case file on the table. Lindsey’s picture came up on the first page. It was the same woman I had seen in our hall. I felt sick to my stomach just to think what could my mother be going through as we sat at that table to theorize about her location.

- “We don't know. Her phone goes straight to voicemail. She's not returning texts, either.”- JJ explained, and my wife didn’t even turn to look at her, she just nodded and asked.

- “Garcia, did you ping it?”

- “I tried, munchkin, but the battery must be dead. The GPS was turned off.”

- “Fuck!”- my wife muttered and closed the file.

- “What about Cassie’s car?”- I asked and Prentiss turned to Penelope.

- “Garcia, where are we on that APB of her car?”

- “I don't have anything yet.”

- “Ok. Also, search recent traffic in and out of the Reid's apartment. If she was around, the cameras must have got her at some point.”

- “Copy, copy”- Penelope replied and kept typing on her laptop as fast as possible.

I stood up and walked around the room, trying to make my head work and be useful. But I was too scared, too angry, too out of myself to even get my facts straight.

- “I’m gonna get us some coffee.”- my wife whispered and left the room. JJ walked to me and hugged me one more time.

- “We are gonna find her, Spence.”

- “Thanks.”- I hugged JJ back for a moment, neither my head nor my body was there. I was anywhere else trying to find a reason why Lindsey would abduct my mother. The whole team stood up to get to work, but JJ kept her arms around me.

- “I know a marshal that can help cut through WITSEC's red tape.”- I heard Luke say as he walked toward the door with Lewis.

- “Yeah, I'm friendly with some people at Homeland Security.”- she added and grabbed the phone. I put my hands on JJ’s shoulder and moved her away from me the second Rossi said.

- “I got a buddy at the DOJ, lost a lot of money to him at poker. He owes me.”

- “Is there anything I can do?”- JJ asked me, standing in front of me as I slowly pushed her body away from mine. I shook my head. How could I tell her to just do her job? I know it sounded cold, but I needed everybody to put their heads on the files in a way I couldn’t do: with a cold head and open eyes.

- “Thank you.”- was all I managed to whisper as I stood in the conference room with teary eyes and shaky hands. JJ held my face with both hands and opened her mouth to say something, but I was just greeted with silence. She froze before saying anything and moved away from me quickly. I turned around to see what had shocked her so much and met my wife’s eyes staring back at us as she stood in the hall outside the conference room holding two cups of coffee.

(Y/N)’s point of view

I knew it wasn’t time to start acting jealous. We were busy, my mother-in-law was missing, my family was broken, and JJ was… whatever the fuck she was trying to do to my husband. Spencer stared at me, confused and upset. Not with me, but with everything around him. I sighed and walked to his desk, leaving his cup of extra sugar with some coffee on his desk.

Instead of staying at my desk, in front of his, I walked to Garcia’s. Spencer needed some room I guess, well so did I. I called my mother there, and explained what was happening. She nearly lost it. I was glad my father was there with her. He wanted to go to the station, but I managed to convince him it was better if he stayed put.

- “Right now, from where I’m standing, a psychopath kidnapped my mother-in-law. We don’t know if she is going for our babies now. It’s better if you stay there with them. I’d give me so much mental peace right now.”

- “Of course, peanuts. But please, call us as soon as you know something.”

- “I will dad. Love you.”

Penelope held my hand during that entire phone call and hugged me the second I hung up. I started sobbing in desperation, giving myself the time to lose it for a couple of minutes, before I wiped off my tears.

- “Ok, enough of this shit. Now I need to put my hands on this bitch!”

- “It’s ok to cry, munchkin. I know how you are feeling.”

- “I know Pen. But I’m so tired right now. No matter what I do, I can’t catch a fucking break!”

- “My precious baby, it’s been a shitty year!”- Pen hugged me tighter as I fought the tears back into my eyes.

- “I think everything has been shit for so long… I need a long vacation from any serial-related thing.”

- “I know it looks shitty now. But we are gonna take Diana back home and then we are gonna plan your vacation, ok?- I just nodded as Garcia kissed my cheek and moved a chair closer for me. - “Now, let’s get to work.”

Police found Cassie’s car and Luke was out on his way there in no time. Prentiss asked me and my husband to stay out of the case, which was… harder than I imagined it’d be, to put it in gentle words. I didn’t want to deal with JJ or Spencer after whatever had happened in the conference room between them. Was I jealous? Always had! Never dealt with it. Did I trust Spencer? Of course, I did! I trusted him with my life. But I hated knowing he could get comfort from JJ instead of me. Random? Yes. Petty? Definitely. True? Sure! But I was not dealing with it at that moment. It wasn’t the time or the place. So I played it cool, stayed with Penelope, locked in the bat cave, and heard Luke calling from Cassie’s car.

- “Garcia.”

- “What do you need? I’m here with Mrs. Dr. Reid by the way.”- I knew she said that to stop him from dropping any fact that might be too much for me to handle. It was sweet and stressful at the same time.

- “Metro P.D. found Cassie's car and called it in immediately. No signs of her or Diana. No foul play. There are... There are 3 visible cameras. One nearby and two down the way.”

- “I can tap into them, see what I can find.”- Pen was starting to type the location of the cameras when her phone rang.- “Oh, oh, uh, uh, Walker and JJ are calling in. You want me to patch you through?”

- “Please.”- I kept pacing across Garcia’s office as I overheard the entire conversation, biting my lips as I tried not to open my mouth. I couldn’t say a word.

- “Walker, JJ, you're on with Alvez.”

- “Hey, Luke, no luck finding Cassie or Diana.”- Stephen said, it sounded like he and JJ were already in the SUV.

- “All right. Well, I'm at Cassie's car right now.”- Luke announced- “Forensically, it's a dead end, but, uh, behaviorally we might have something.”- Luke whispered the last words as if he was focusing on something going on at his end.

- “What is it?”- I asked as soon as the silence became too much for me.

- “Hey Reid!”- he greeted me and sounded happy to hear me- “Her car is parked down the block from a high school.”

- “A high school is where Jack Vaughn killed Lindsey's abductor in front of her and Spence.”- JJ pointed out. I just kept walking around the office, hearing them talk.

- “Well, placing the car there could be a taunt at us.”- Walker suggested. I nodded along ‘cos I agreed.

- “That's what I'm thinking.” - and clearly so did Luke.

- “I can look into that. I can... Oh!”- as soon as Penelope gasped, I jumped and stood by her side.

- “What is it?”- I questioned staring at the screens not getting a shit.

- “Garcia?”- JJ asked from the other side of the line.

- “Oh, uh, uh, per Emily, I was supposed to look at the recent foot traffic in and out of the Reids’ building. There is no sign of Lindsey, but a Jaime Lamantia keeps popping up. She lives in unit 26 down the hall from the Reids. She paid 6 months of her rent upfront in cash, and there's been not a peep from her since.”

- “How's Jaime connected to Lindsey?”- JJ asked and I replied before Garcia could even think.

- “Wake up, Jennifer! There’s no Jaime, come on! They are the same fucking person! And bitch rented an apartment right down the hall from us!”- I hit the desk and stormed out of Garcia’s office. I wanted to cry, to scream, and to break a wall with my fists.

A psycho had been living down the hall from my babies for weeks and I never even noticed! What kind of SSA could do such a thing? What kind of mother was I? I was never going to forgive myself if something happened to Diana.

- “Chipmunk! Wait!”- Spencer’s voice came from somewhere around the bullpen as I kept pushing the elevator’s door as if it might actually force the doors to open sooner.

- “Not… my best moment, hon.”- I managed to say and bit my lips. Spencer held my hand and walked with me into the elevator, no questions asked. We got to the first floor in silence, and I walked outside. I needed some fresh air, to stay away from people. I wanted to wake up from that nightmare.

- “Lindsey rented the apartment at the end of the hall from us.”- I told him after a few minutes. Spencer opened his eyes and mouth but didn’t say a thing. His brain was going a thousand miles per second, and mine was blank. I felt useless.

- “Yeah.”- I added, crossed my arms on my chest, and simply walked in circles in the front of the building.- “I feel so stupid. So blind!”

- “Me too.”- he whispered and sat on the front steps of the building. His head hung down as his hands rested on his neck.- “I feel useless now and I can’t shake the thought this whole thing is my fault. But I can’t think about anything that might have done wrong against Lindsey and her dad ten years ago! What did I do wrong that was worth kidnapping my mother right now!”

- “I don’t think you did anything wrong, hon. She is a fuckin psycho.”- I stood in front of my husband and watched the state he was in. I don’t think I had ever seen him like that. It broke my heart to think I didn’t know how to help him.

- “It just doesn��t make sense.”- he whispered- “Why here? Why now? Why mom?”

- “I’m sorry honey. I… I just don’t know.”- my chin quivered as I broke into tears one more time, feeling useless and dumb.

- “Oh chipmunk.”- Spencer quickly stood up and wrapped his arms around me.- “I don’t expect you to fix it on your own, I’m sorry.”

- “I’m sorry... I just… feel no good for anything! I should have seen this coming!”- my voice was muffled against his shirt, yet I knew he understood what I had just said ‘cos he grabbed my face and forced me to look into his eyes.

- “Don’t say that.”- Spencer whispered and kissed my forehead. - “Please, don’t say that.”

- “I’m so sorry! This should go the other way! I should be comforting you! But I can’t even do that right.”- tears fell from my eyes as I stared at his own eyes getting damp.

- “No, ma cherie.”- my husband held me even closer to his body and kissed my cheeks and forehead several times.- “It’s you who I want by my side this entire time. I wanna comfort you, hold you. Just knowing you are by my side this entire time is the only thing keeping me sane right now.”

I closed my eyes and felt him resting his forehead on mine as we just held onto each other, trying to keep each other sane and safe. Spencer didn’t mention what had happened with JJ and I didn’t want to bring it up. It didn’t feel right at the time.

Spencer’s point of view

JJ and Walker had found Cassie’s body in Lindsey’s apartment in our building. She had been shot once, execution style. It gave me an odd sense of peace to know she hadn’t suffered. She wasn’t tortured. She just… died at the hands of a psychopath only because she worked for me. I was never going to forgive myself.

Along with Cassie’s body, there were pictures of us, (Y/N), me, the kids, and Mom. Walking into the apartment, getting into the car. Playing in the park nearby. Dropping them in school, visiting Sofia. Lindsey knew everything we did, everywhere we went. I knew I shouldn’t have access to all that information, but even when Prentiss kept asking us to leave the BAU and go home with our kids, we couldn’t just stand aside and let them do all the work. We were the target, there had to be something we knew or did that triggered Lindsey.

When the ballistics results came in, we were with JJ, Rossi, Tara, and Garcia in the conference room. They confirmed the bullet that killed Cassie was the same gun Jack Vaughn used when he was a mob enforcer in Boston.

- “It's because she's a daddy's girl.”- I said and held yet another cup of coffee between my hands, as my wife, who sat right next to me, added.

- “The gun is an odd touch of sentimentality for an otherwise logistical killer.”

- “Yes, but she took the gun because she's a daddy's girl because they were inseparable.”- The team stared at me and nodded. I couldn’t help but think about my own daughter. We were a team. We would do so many things together. We had our Saturday mornings just to be together, go to the library, or to the park. We visited museums and had smoothies. I wondered what I was teaching her. Was I making it right? Would she hate me when she is older and she realizes her parents spent most of her childhood catching serial killers instead of being there for her when she was scared and when she was happy. When she had to sing in the talent show in school.

(Y/N) squeezed my hand and took me from my thoughts at the right time: seconds before I fell down the rabbit hole of self-hate and doubt.

- “I think we should go home.”- she whispered.- “I know the guys already investigated the scene, but we live there. We’d know if anything was off.”

- “Worth the shot to ask Prentiss.”- I murmured and nodded.

- “Ok. I know it's a different agency and all, but couldn't someone have told us that Lindsey left WITSEC?”- Garcia

- “No. It's for her own protection.”

- “The marshals stay away unless you're in trouble. Even our own case agents aren't told about their member status.”- Lewis explained and Garcia sighed, defeated. Prentiss walked into the room and turned to us.

- “How many times do I have to ask you to go home?”

- “Until you give up trying.”- (Y/N) replied and I was about to ask our unit chief to let us go to our apartment when Penelope announced.

- “More ballistics literally just came in on Jack Vaughn's gun, and, oh, my goodness, Lindsey has been a busy evil bee.”

- “How busy?”- Lewins asked as Pen shared the info on the big screen so we could all see.

- “That gun has been involved in 15 murders in the last 5 years.”- Garcia pointed out and we could trace her path of murder on the map. She had been in fact very busy and mostly worked down the Mexican border.

- “Single shot to the back of the head with a modified hollow point.”- JJ said, confirming the same MO she had done on Cassie.

- “That's our Lindsey.”- Rossi pointed out.

- “You guys see the geographical pattern? All of the kills are along the U.S-Mexico border.”- JJ commented what I had already noticed but couldn’t say, ‘cos we couldn’t work the fucking case.

- “And each of the victims has apparent cartel ties.”- Pen added as I kept taking mental notes.

- “So.” Tara sighed and stated the facts- “Lindsey's been a cartel hitwoman ever since she left the program.”

- “Ok, but why is she using her dad's gun? That helps us, and it's risky for her.”- Garcia questioned and I knew the answer, I was just hoping someone would say it.

- “It's an impulse. It's not a choice.”- JJ explained and I nodded in silence from the couch.

- “I wonder if Luke and Walker will get to talk with Lindsey’s dad.”- (Y/N) murmured as we kept our eyes glued on the screen, trying to see a pattern.

- “I hope so, or we are fucked”- my reply was honest, I couldn’t lie to her under those circumstances.

- “Guys, please go home.”- Prentiss begged the second we set foot in her office. She was talking with Rossi and looked at us with the most concerned and upset look I had seen from them.

- “That’s what we are here to talk about. Maybe we could be of use.”- I started explaining

- “No guys, you can't be part of the investigation.”

- “We know that, but we can put an eye on our apartment. Maybe you overlooked something.”- I proposed and (Y/N) nodded.

- “We are the owners, we have the right to be there. And if Lindsey touched or moved anything, we’d know.”

- “It’s not a bad idea.”- Rossi supported us but Emily just sighed and shook her head. Luckily, her phone interrupted her and gave us some extra time to argue back.

- “Luke.”- she got our attention as soon as she said who she was talking to. We were all waiting for feedback from him and Stephen after talking with Lindsey’s dad, Jack.

- “Ok, we’ll talk about it when you get here. Thanks, Luke.”- Emily’s face changed. Her eyebrows were lowered and drawn together, and her lips were pressed together.

- “What is it? I can read the anger and the fear all over your face.”- I said, knowing she was not supposed to tell me anything.

- “Jack said Lindsey was looking for a contact for scopolamine and sevoflurane. The same drugs Scratch uses.”

All I could feel was cold, like water running down from my head to my toes, soaking me with desperation and freezing fear. My heart was beating hard on my chest, and I could actually feel it in my throat. (Y/N) grabbed my arm and gripped it. It wasn’t what we were expecting to hear. It was worse than I had ever imagined. If Mr. Scratch was behind my mother's capture, who knew how he was torturing her, messing with her already damaged mind.

- “What are we gonna do?”- I asked Prentiss and missed the tears in my wife’s eyes. - “We need a plan! We have to get to our apartment! We…” - I know I was nearly hyperventilating, and losing it slowly. But I couldn’t remain calm and logical all things considered. I felt (Y/N)’s hand losing its grip on my arm, but I never noticed when she walked out of the room. All my mind could focus on was the fact Mr. Scratch was gonna hurt my mother the way he had hurt Aaron, Jack, and Tara’s brother.

- “(Y/N)!”- Prentiss called my wife, but she stormed out of the office. I stood frozen on my spot for a few seconds, waiting for an answer.

- “What are we gonna do?!”- I ended up yelling, and Rossi held my arm, trying to calm me down.

- “You should take your wife home and get some sleep, kid. We’ll come up with a plan as soon as Luke and Stephen are back, and we’ll keep you posted.”

- “David, we can not step aside now!”- I argued, I was seeing red and kept feeling like a prisoner in a cage.

- “That is exactly what you have to do if you want us to get your mother back. Trust us. Please.”- Prentiss’ voice was calmed, probably trying to soothe me while I could feel my blood boiling.

- “How could I… just sit and wait?”- I struggled with the words ‘cos I was too furious to think straight.

- “You can start by comforting your wife.”- Rossi suggested and tapped my shoulder.- “She needs you more than the team does right now. Get some sleep, and rest that brain. We could get you to your apartment tomorrow.”

I wanted to argue, but my head was overwhelmed by all the information. And my heart felt heavy in my chest.

- “We’ll call you if we know anything. I promise.”- Prentiss hugged me and I couldn’t reciprocate it. I was still on fire inside. But I was defeated, so I sighed and walked out, ready to find my wife and take her home.

(Y/N)’s point of view

I was sick of crying. Tears kept rolling down my cheeks, and I kept whipping them out with my sleeve as I sat in Garcia’s office. My friend had gotten me a glass of water and hugged me for what felt like hours as we just sat there in silence.

- “I…”- Garcia whispered after a few more minutes. She caressed my cheek and looked into my eyes, trying to put herself together for me.- “I don’t know what to tell you, munchkin.”

- “It’s ok, Pen. You don’t have to say anything.”

- “It’s just not fair.”- she murmured and I nodded.

- “It never is. That’s what this job has taught me.”- I sighed and tried to smile at my friend, but failed massively.

- “It hasn’t been easy lately.”- Pen started rambling.- “It never is here, you are right about that. But lately, it feels like…”

- “Life has been kicking us on the floor and just won't let us go.”- I added and she nodded.

- “Exactly.”

- “I just… keep thinking about what we do every day and how it always turns against us. And I can’t help but wonder why am I still here.”- I confessed and Pen’s face didn’t even flinch. I thought she might freak out, but it shocked me when she didn’t. Instead, she agreed with me.

- “I wonder the same sometimes. How much pain can I handle?”

- “Exactly. And I keep feeling this job is taking pieces of me every day and in the end there won’t be any left of myself. And it’s awful 'cause it was exactly what I was afraid of when I first joined the BAU. That I would lose who I was due to this job.”

Garcia stared at me and just held my hand tighter. Neither of us said another word. I felt like it was not needed. She knew how I felt ‘cos she felt it too. And I couldn’t be more grateful for her friendship at that minute.

- “Garcia, have you seen Spence?”- JJ stormed into the office suddenly and Penelope and I nearly jumped. JJ just stared at me, wide-opened eyes, like she wasn’t waiting to bump into me there.

- “Do we have a lead?”- Pen asked her immediately.

- “Eh, no. I just wanted to check on you two.”- JJ excused herself and walked toward me.- “We haven’t had much time to talk, and I wanted to know how you are dealing with everything.”

I stared at her, trying to read her, wondering if she really meant it.

- “Just tired.”- that was the best I could reply without telling her exactly how I felt. I didn’t want to share my feelings with Jennifer at that moment. It didn’t feel right.

- “And the kids?”

- “With my mom. We should go put them to bed soon.” - just on cue, Spencer walked into the office, still looking upset, but more together than earlier.

- “Hey.”- he whispered, locking eyes with me.- “Sorry, I lost it.”

- “It’s ok, Pen kept me company. What did I miss?”

- “Couldn’t change their minds.”- I sighed and nodded as my husband kneeled next to me and held my hands, just as Garcia had done before.

- “It’s ok. I was just telling JJ we should go put the kids to bed.”- and just then, Spencer noticed JJ and Pen were there as well. He cut them a smile and stood up.

- “Ready to go, chipmunk?”

I gathered my things from my desk and walked to the elevator with Spencer. Garcia hugged us and promised to call in case anything happened. I wanted to trust her, but I was sure she wouldn’t. She couldn’t, after all. We were supposed to stay out of the case.

The drive back home felt eternal. I decided to get behind the wheel because I needed to focus on something that wasn't in my head for a little while. Besides, it felt like Spencer could use some time to think before we had to face my parents and our kids.

- “Mommy!!”- Raven ran to us as soon as we opened the door. It was already past her bedtime, but according to my mom, she wouldn’t go to sleep as soon as she heard we were going to be home. She wanted to see us.

- “Hey there, Birdy!”- I hugged my daughter tight and kissed both her cheeks.- “Are you having fun with Nana and Pop?”

- “Yes, they showed me pictures of you when you were little. And they said sometimes you were naughty and didn’t eat your greens.”- my daughter giggled and looked at me with a sweet smile. I fought the tears as I held her, and Spencer moved closer to us and kissed Raven’s head.

- “Come on in, kids. Dinner is ready.”- Mom whispered from the kitchen’s door. Dad looked at us, holding Vincent, who was clearly asleep already.

- “Want me to put him down to bed?”- I asked him as I still held my daughter in my arms, but he shook his head.

- “I don’t feel like letting go.”- and I knew exactly what he meant.

That night, my husband and I barely slept. We were cramped in my old bed, holding our kids tight and just going through the night getting as little rest as expected under the circumstances. At a certain point, I felt Spencer’s hand on mine, and I turned to look at him. Tears kept falling from his eyes as he intertwined his fingers with mine. Raven was softly snoring between us, basically clinging to Spencer’s pajama, while Vincent kept kicking my ribs as he dreamed by my side.

I held Spencer’s hand tight and kissed it. He cut me a short smile and sighed. I whispered “I love you” and he replied with the same words. My whole world was in that tiny bed and I wanted to wrap my babies in a bubble to keep anything from hurting them.

Around two in the morning, we got a call from Prentiss, the team was waiting for us with news: they had gotten a secondary address for Lindsey late at night, she had a house in southeast DC. They needed us asap. It was so hard leaving our kids alone in bed that morning. It made me feel a little calmer knowing the police force was protecting my parent’s house.

I woke up Mom, left the babies in her bed, kissed them goodbye, and walked to the car. I just hoped we could get Diana home that day. I needed my family all together again.

However, it felt like things could only get worse because the second we stepped into the conference room, we were met with the awful truth. It wasn't Mr. Scratch who had gotten Diana.

It had been Cat Adams all along. 

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[violetfaust]

Sometimes I think about

Misha telling the story of how, at the start of SPN s4 or 5, he went to Robert Singer and asked if Singer had any ideas about where he should take his character, and Singer looked at him with utter contempt and said, "You're not gonna be one of those actors, are you?"

And now, at Gotham Knights...

Misha: Maybe Harvey could change clothes now and then?

Jennifer May Nickel: Sure--let's go with two to four custom-fitted suits per episode, all with some subtle detailing playing on the number two or calling back to an iconic Two-Face story.

Misha: You know I have a motorcycle license...wouldn't it be cool...?

TPTB: Next ep, you're riding a motorcycle!

Misha: You would not believe this crazy dream I had about Harvey...

TPTB: Brilliant! Let's put it in the show!

Why am I so pleased that this middle-aged total stranger is finally being valued at his workplace?

[solarwynd]

https://www.tumblr.com/solarwynd/757367162624180224/what-do-you-think-is-next-for-jimins-career-will?source=share

I'm starting to hear who outside kpop spaces which is excellent news. Jimin already built a solid fanbase with face, and I honestly think he's going to get more mainstream attention with muse. Not like Sabrina Carpenter or Taylor Swift level attention because you need a lot more label support and frankly payola or a boatload of luck for that to happen after just two solo eps but Jimin is rising.

I think it's fantastic that he's doing better and better with every solo release. His next full length album is going to go crazy. I only hope that Hybe slowly see the light as well. They killed like crazy in every way possible. They didn't give who much support but at least they're not actively suppressing it. Maybe I'm too optimistic but I hope that Hybe either open their eyes and provide proper support for his third album or Jimin walks for his solo contract I hope. In any case as long as Jimin keeps releasing solo music, he's going to keep getting bigger and better, of that I have no doubt. When he released lie I thought he couldn't top it but he released like crazy. When I thought he couldn't top like crazy, he released who. I can't wait to see what he releases next.

Also critics are so snotty about EPs which is one of the reasons why I hope Jimin make his next album full length. I think critical acclaim could be one of his next frontiers and in that respect he has the vision and direction down but critics will not go for a 7 song album with an interlude and an intro. Like they already have a prejudice against kpop so the limited songs aren't helping even though structurally it makes more sense to have separated the songs and we know Jimin was on a time crunch before enlisting

Soooo agreed.

If there’s a step or 2 below like a full blown GP artist I feel like that’s where Jimin resides. A lot of people know of him, others might have some vague familiarity, but when you hear that he’s releasing music there’s definitely automatic intrigue there. I also think that Jimin has managed to do something very smart in where people now know to anticipate his title tracks because he’s 2/2 with them.

I think back to that translation I saw of what he said about his “standard of excellence rising.” and I get so excited. Because here’s a man who worked very hard of MUSE but knows that it wasn’t peak him because he was on a time crunch like you mentioned. So when he’s finally free of enlistment and has unlimited time to really sit down and explore even more, I really believe that PJM3 is gonna be his best work. And I’m genuinely hoping that it’s an actual album with like 10+ songs

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon ep 168 spoilers and thoughts that IM NOT LATE WITH FOR ONCE! KIND OF! YAY! and more below the cut

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OKAY. OKAY CAN WE TALK ABOUT THESE TWO PANELS WITH LLOYD AND JAVIER REALLY REALLY QUICK. i would save this for the end of the post since its closer to the end but im super impatient okay what else can i say. LOOK AT THE WAY JAVIER IS LOOKING AT HIM

HE IS LOOKING AT HIM SO DAMN FONDLY. WHAT THE FUCK. THERE IS WARMTH IN THAT GAZE I SWEAR TO GOD IM NOT CRAZY. "you're such a terrible person" AND HES LOOKING AT HIM LIKE THAT. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. crazy. CRAZY.

the adaptor knew what they were doing . i swear it . like "yeah thats MY evil boyf. he's back to being evil and lively and his perfect bastard self." I SWEAR IT I SWEAR IM NOT CRAZY

this is proof of llovier. im so serious dont even joke lads

back to the top!

not much to say here lloyds expression is just so real sobs yeah . yeah,,, older gens having goofy ass back and forths over things that really arent the main issue here is universal

like i dont quite remember what season theyre in now but its past winter by this point and based on the two panels showing the time of day they had to have been arguing about this for AT LEAST FOUR HOURS 😭 LIKE WHAT THE FUCK (idk how accurate that estimate is im notoriously bad at time but still. a long fucking time) these BUFFOONS

also lloyd being dramatic as hell is so fucking silly HAHAHAHAHHAA

AND THEN THE LORDS FUCKING STARING AT HIM WHEN HE BRINGS UP THAT HE HAS AN IDEA. HELPPP all eyes on lloyd now !!! what brilliant idea do u have next thats absolutely totally not secured through lowkey social engineering!

so so SO happy w how confident he looks here heehee :3 whats with the pose tho lol is that a reference? maybe?

anyway they plan to make a train thru the pantara mountains? vantara? pan,,, idk what the correct translation is ive seen vantara and pantara

also lloyd just knowing exactly how to talk to those old ass political lords and understanding how to string them along idk what it is but i really really like that, it makes sense to me personally

i figure that thats probably something suho just Had to pay attention to back in korea, idk how korean politics works exactly but i imagine the principle of "person in charge can make or break a lot of things" still stands

so like it'd make sense that he pays attention to whoevers in charge of the finance stuff, which political figures care about money, and where that money goes, bc if they fuck with the funds for education thatll directly screw him over. idk if korea has financial aid but whatever equivalent that is that allows suho to get scholarships n stuff so he can stay afloat, if someone comes into power that will negatively affect his odds of getting that funding, he'll need to know and prepare! though maybe this is reaching a little too deep it might not be That Serious lmfao

again i really like how many of these confident / plotting expressions have been showing up IM SOO SO SO HAPPYYYY my schemer my little scheming guy he's BACK HES BACK

the two of them also look really really nice here in these two panels for some reason. i think im going crazy. i dont know why i like these panels its just. !??!?!?!?!??! like javiers hair is completely messy but idk i just ?!?!?!?!? im completely aro so its not like an attraction or anything but idk!?!??!?!?!

finally our first look at the overworld demons!!! these two kiddos seem super cute i really hope they dont . misunderstand or anything and that lloyd and javier can have some fun and heartwarming moments with them,,,, more sillies and soft fluff please!!!!! thats all i ask!!!!

okay that's all! not much to say this episode is just really really cozy to me. ok well as cozy as "lloyd frontera making evil expressions" can get LMFAO it feels like build up into the next section and im really excited to see what he's gonna do with this train idea and with the overworld demons...!!!!!

there was a notice at the end of the ep that the artist is taking a small break for their health so no ep next week, but there'll be one the week after i believe. we must be patient!!! rest well artist!!!!

that's it ill see yall in. two weeks? ill probably have some other yap post for the hiatus week idk, it depends on how my schoolwork goes. see yall then!!!!

[moii3]

My Candy Love New Gen Episode 8- Little Review&Commentary

!Spoilers Ahead!

I'm not that excited while writing this review today because I honestly feel like a lot of people clocked beemov's ass really fast in regards to how innapropriate this whole story was and i respect the good points ppl made. I don't know how much i can add to this discussion then you guys.

No matter how much some members of the fandom might imply we are being dramatic or harsh in our opinions, i don't agree with them at all. And i want a little round of applause to y'all for not letting this slide.

Devon and Thomas are the two characters that change the story's direction in the way of Ysaline choosing to go with them (everyone but Amanda basically) to try to spy on Roy.

I honestly didn't have any opinion about Devon prior to this but being on Thomas's route currently, this whole thing pissed me off. I really think Thomas has a pretty privilege or something because imagine if there was a guy in your office (well, two guys) that suggested you go spy on your naked coworker and they weren't conventionally attractive 😭 Wouldn't you be more creeped off? Just goes to show attractive people be getting away with everything.

Thomas being possibly/probably being neurodivergent has been discussed here before but like, the comments he made and the way he acted was not it. Grown adults acting like spies.

Devon being their boss and still doing that shit to his supposed "friend" was also an hr nightmare.

Amanda won my heart in this episode by having some sense to refuse to go. Everyone acting like she is so stuck up was the only realistic part of this episode tbh. Feeling like you are the only sane person in a work setting is real.

Also beemov making Amanda openly imply this whole idea is off putting and innapropriate makes this whole thing worse. Like you knew what you were doing& how it might have been recieved by writing this.

I played the whole thing towards Thomas's illu to see what happens&how bad the episode went. As i predicted, we didn't see him naked (of course...) and i was relieved this shit didn't get more out of pocket.

Also when it comes to the special scene&illustration, i agree with people saying our romance is moving a little too fast. Like i'm not shaming anyone who says they love quick-paced heated romance stories or games. Nor do i shame people who say they would move fast like this with their date/crush irl. Honestly everyone can do whatever they want as long as they are safe. You do you.

But like is it that crazy not to expect Ysaline being naked in front of the guy she have known for only a few weeks, without not even properly kissing him? (the one on ep 7 doesn't count, come on.)

MCL games usually have more classic slowburn romance elements and i didn't expect this.

I wish i played Amanda's route before but seeing im on this journey with Thomas, i think he has an issue with personal boundaries and this is gonna be pretty interesting..

welp

i think we should start chasing cishet men around with baseball bats.

Elenda and Brune agreeing to go with these freaks..

Stand up queens..

I usually put more illustrations&more commentary to these but i don't feel like this one is going to be long.

There is a month left for the next one so, until next time

xoxo

[podsn]

⚠️ Major spoilers for Ahsoka ep 4 ⚠️

This fucking episode was so good. My favorite so far and I just can’t believe how much I’m enjoying this show.

First I know all the Marrok theorists are punching the air rn. I had a feeling he was gonna be a nobody especially when he was fighting Ahsoka. She disrespected this man so bad using only one saber the whole time.

Shin vs Sabine rematch was cool. Nothing too crazy like their first fight but the “you have no power.” Line was delivered so well. It sounded almost as if Shin was making fun of Sabine or calling her weak. Something like that

We got Ahsoka vs Baylan which was very cool to see. Now despite Ahsoka losing I do think they are evenly matched. Ahsoka had the disadvantage of focusing on the map. Also I didn’t expect that it would burn the shit out of her. I’m really excited to see if they will have a rematch later.

Ahsoka force throwing Shin into a wall. At first I thought Ahsoka was gonna force choke her and I was like okay go ape shit then but no just a force throw.

Sabine not destroying the map was interesting. Shows that she has too much attachment. She literally would rather join (get captured by) dark side users for a chance to see Ezra rather than let him go to prevent a war. I’m very excited to see where they take Sabine’s character.

Also Shin force choking her afterwards. Shin is an interesting character. I can’t tell if she hates Sabine but I also feel like Shin is the type of character that would rather prove herself by killing Sabine in battle but she force choked her and almost went for an easy kill. Idk cuz we don’t know much about Shin and where she stands morally yet so yeah.

Okay and now for the most exciting part. HOLY FUCKING SHIT WBW AND ANAKIN. HAYDEN CALLED HER SNIPS AND SHE RESPONDED WITH MASTER AHHH. HES HERE IM SO EXCITED FOR WHAT WE ARE ABOUT TO SEE NEXT EPISODE WITH THESE 2.

I think Ahsoka is gonna ask Anakin for advice with Sabine. I also think they are definitely gonna confront the past both clones wars era and talk about Vader (maybe) but definitely talking about them in the clone wars