#i think my tiktok is going to be just the most random use of sounds

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗜 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗙𝗔𝗖𝗘

　　　　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: Where Y/N has had a crush on Matt for years but hid her feelings out of fear. She just didn't expect Matt to feel the same way about her.

WARNING: None.

REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

The sounds of random music and different audio from TikTok echoed through the four walls of Matt's room.

The brunette was lying in the center of his double bed, his torso lightly supported on the headboard, above his fluffy pillow, while his right arm was half raised and supported on the bed by his elbow.

His hand held his phone up tightly while his thumb scrolled through the screen, double-clicking on it every now and then, liking some videos. His left hand was on Y/N's back, who was in her favorite and most comfortable position; on top of Matt.

Y/N had her body lying completely on the boy's body, her chest pressed against his while her legs rested against the mattress and between Matt's open ones. Her head was lying on his left shoulder, right in the crook of his neck, her hair tickling his jaw and chin every time she moved it, sometimes to watch one of the videos, but mostly just to admire his features.

The girl had a huge crush on Matt and that wasn't news to anyone. Although she never talked about it, everyone saw the way she acted around him through her body language - that spoke louder than any words could -, except Matt himself.

But he wasn't the only oblivious one among the two. Although he didn't make his years-long crush on the girl so apparent as she did - even while trying not to -, he liked her just as much.

Y/N watched Matt's varying reactions closely and attentively to each different video, her eyes scanning his features carefully, getting lost in each line of expression. Her pupils carried a glow that only appeared when she looked at him, shining bright.

Her right hand was raised over Matt's cheek, her fingertips lightly caressing his smooth skin, tracing every line she could see, and the ones she couldn't too - she had all of them already memorized and embedded in her mind.

She was completely sure that Matt was the most beautiful boy she had ever seen; every trait and habit of his captivated her, as much as his aura, which was so calm and sincere that it made her want to never leave his side again. Just the thought made her smile like a fool, and the gesture didn't go unnoticed by the brunette.

"Why are you smiling like that, hm? You're not even watching the TikToks." Matt asked, his voice came out slightly hoarse from lack of use and the laziness that hugged his body like a light blanket, caused by the extremely comfortable and warm position.

"Hm? Nothing, I'm just thinking." Y/N smiled shyly, lowering her gaze, suddenly feeling small under the boy's gaze.

"Want to talk about it?" Matt frowned in a mix of curiosity and concern, locking the screen of his phone and throwing it aside, focusing fully on the girl above him.

“I just…" Y/N paused, a sigh escaping her mouth before her teeth caught her bottom lip in a light grip, mentally pondering whether she should answer him truthfully or not.

Matt remained silent, looking at her with a calming gaze, an almost imperceptible smile on his lips, passing her security and comfort.

The low, yellow lights of Matt's room illuminated him perfectly, kissing his skin so that it glowed, his most beautiful features standing out, taking the girl's breath away. Without even realizing it, her mouth opened slightly in awe, losing her trail of thoughts as her orbs traveled over the boy's little details.

The way his longs eyelashes caressed his own cheeks every time he blinked made her want to pass her fingers over them, while his roguish smile pulled light wrinkles at the corner of his lips, that seeming to call out for Y/N's lips.

"I just like your face." The whisper escaped her mouth before her mind even processed what she was about to say, the tips of her fingers gently caressing the space between his eyebrows, running down the bridge of his nose slowly.

Her eyes automatically widened in surprise a few seconds after hearing her own voice utter the words she had never before planned to even say out loud, her movements stopping abruptly.

Matt's calming smile turned into an amused one, his blue eyes traveling over the small reactions Y/N's features displayed in response. He slightly lifted his chin up, touching the tip of his nose to the tip of Y/N's fingers, which she had lightly moved away from his skin after getting the shock of reality.

"I mean, I don't like your face- no, wait, I do, it's beautiful for you, every detail fits you perfectly, I just-"

Matt rolled his eyes playfully before slightly lifting his torso, sealing his lips over Y/N's gently, shushing her instantly. A surprised sound escaped the girl's throat, her mind racing at high speed, trying to process what was happening before finally giving in.

Y/N closed her eyes tightly, her right hand - which was previously caressing the skin of Matt's face - traveled to the back of his neck, tangling her fingers in the curly strands, massaging the area lightly, eliciting a nasal sigh from him.

The brunette's warm tongue caressed her bottom lip momentarily, asking for entrance, which was quickly granted. Their tongues intertwined in an infectious dance.

Y/N's left palm rested on Matt's chest, lifting her upper body slightly, generating more access to the kiss. Matt's hands squeezed her waist, his thumb running under the fabric of her t-shirt, caressing the warm skin of her bare hip gently.

When the air ran out, Matt slowly pulled away, his blue eyes analyzing Y/N's reactions closely. A smile stretched across his cheeks when he saw her eyes still closed, her lips parted as she pushed her chin forward slightly, searching for his touch blindly.

"I like your face too."

taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chris @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @rootbeerworshiper @junnniiieee07 @elliesturniolo1 @sstvrnioloo @lightsgore @gidgett11037 @iammattswife

(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)

[moralesluvr]

what girlfriend!billie does when she misses you / fluff & all things sweet, i thought about this earlier so :) stay tuned to the end for something i made 🫣

01. — WHEN BILLIE MISSES YOU… she can’t stop blowing up your phone. if your busy or at work, or even just taking a nap— she’s gonna send you every funny tiktok she sees, every random picture she takes, all of it. you’re one of the most important things in her life and she always wants to show you what’s going on.

my love — here’s finneas eating celery

my love — really just thought you should know

like literally, she’ll send you anything that’s going on. but quality time and being together is such a big thing for her, there’s no way she’d go even an hour with speaking to you or giving you updates unless she physically couldn’t.

02. — WHEN BILLIE MISSES YOU… that’s literally all she can talk about. she really is the “i miss my girlfriend” type, and she has zero to no shame. it’s half because she loves to say the word “girlfriend” out loud, because she thinks it’s cute.

“my girlfriend?”

“nah i can’t, i’m going to see my girlfriend.”

“my girlfriend would fuck with this.”

“i miss my girlfriend.”

if she’s on a long road trip or flight, everyone’s eyes start to twitch a little bit anytime the first syllable of “girlfriend” even comes out her mouth. but they know that she loves you so much, and that you make her happy— and that’s all they could really ask for. no, no complaints.

“i deadass miss my girlfriend so much y’all, like— please, i need to see her. can we just cancel tour, lowkey? maybe for like a day? so i can see my—“

“billie,” zoe giggles, “you will see your girlfriend, i promise. just let it rest for a second.”

03. — WHEN BILLIE MISSES YOU… she’ll catch herself rereading old texts, or looking at old videos and pictures because the memories mean so much to her. she likes to search up key words in your chats to find sweet conversations you had when y’all were just talking, or even when you first started dating.

if you sent her any voice memos, she’s definitely listening to them. your voice is one of her favorite sounds and there isn’t anything else she’d rather listen to. she’d pop her airpods in and play some of you singing or just talking, and she’d loop them until the words didn’t even make sense anymore.

04. — WHEN BILLIE MISSES YOU… she can get a little grumpy or upset. it isn’t on purpose, but she’ll feel really bad about it later on.

a lot of the time, it’s when she’s already running late and stressed— just a long of things on her plate. and as if it couldn’t get any worse, you were busy too and so your ability to calm her down and comfort her was put to no use. she’d be with her team getting ready for interviews or something, and she’d just be mad.

“billie, did you eat before this? it’s a four hour drive, and—“

“i’m not hungry.”

like literally, the sassiness can get crazy. finneas will usually have to bring her back a little bit, but he usually just lets her grumpiness run its course for a little until she finally calms down.

“you done now?” finneas would tease, giving her a playful hit to her shoulder as the bus pulled into the parking lot of where they were being interviewed. billie gave him fiery eyes, but she wasn’t upset anymore. she just really missed you.

“i miss her.” billie frowned, getting all her things together with a pout, “i always do.”

05. — WHEN BILLIE MISSES YOU… she’s gonna tell you. she’ll often leave you many texts or phone calls, repeatedly telling you how much she longs for your presence and how she wished she could be with you.

it was especially killing her now because of tour, and the time zones were not in her favor at all. so, she’d send you voicemails when you wouldn’t answer her call, like this one. (click the video and slide to the beginning to listen to the voicemail!)

transcript if you can’t listen: hi baby, it is very, very late, um— but i wanted to, uh, send you a voice message, and just tell you that i miss you so fucking much. i wish you were with me. honestly, i think we should just come back and get you so you can do tour with me. uhm…ugh, okay— it’s…it’s late, and i’m tired as hell, and i bet you’re already asleep. um…i miss you always, and i love you. sleep well mama, i miss your beautiful face. bye.

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taglist: @vharperr | @47lake | @hopingforgoodblogs

[melonnmiru]

being a professional volleyball player had gotten kiyoomi an onslaught of— albeit, somewhat unhinged, fans.

he'd never say he hated his fans. in fact, he appreciated their constant support for his growth as both a person and a way too attractive volleyball player. however, the way some of them would show their support was rather... unique for his standards.

the two of you were sprawled out on the couch, you mindlessly scrolling through tiktok, and him ultimately deciding to do the same. this was one of the few times he ever even went on the damn app and the first thing he's greeted with is an edit of him from his most recent game. he somehow felt inclined to open the comments but a part of him knew his scowl would only deepen if he did.

you leaned over and tried to smooth out the crease in between his brows with a hum. "you gotta give them credit, 'omi. you look really hot there."

"it's a 15 second video of me drinking water."

"still hot."

he rolled his eyes, switching his phone off and leaning on your shoulder. you went back to running through his hair with one hand, and scrolling on tiktok with the other.

while kiyoomi was mainly focused on how nice it felt to have your fingers gently carding through his hair, he was also listening along to the random audios that played each time you scrolled onto another video. eventually, a song oddly familiar to kiyoomi started up on your phone.

wait.

kiyoomi paused, turning to look up at you in a comically slow manner with a grimace painted on his face. you bit back a laugh at his sour expression, batting your eyelashes back at him. "what's wrong, my sweetheart, honeybunch, sugarplum, light of my life?"

"ignoring those disgusting pet names— is that the same edit i just saw?"

the familiar song played faintly as you offered him an innocent grin. you glanced at your phone then back at him, quickly swiping up. "edit? don't know what you're talking about."

alas, the algorithm knew you a bit too well. maybe it was coming after you with the fact yet another kiyoomi edit popped up after you swiped. the two of you stared at the screen silently, your thumb sliding over to press another button.

"...what a coincidence, huh 'om-"

"did you just favorite it?"

you didn't respond. he shifted closer to grab your phone, you leaned away. this ultimately led to you and kiyoomi wrestling for your phone. as you two were tugging at your phone, it slid to unsurprisingly, another kiyoomi edit.

"i'm gatekeeping these, get off!"

"they're literally edits of me!"

eventually, he decided to dig his fingers in your sides, causing you to break into what sounded like a mixture of a scream and manic laughter. he smiled triumphantly, using his free hand to grab your phone from your— now weak grasp and going straight to your favorites.

he scrolled through the random collection of cooking tutorials he knows you won't do, cat videos you've shown him multiple times, and of course, edits of him. from clips of him from interviews to his monstrous spikes, you had it all.

"this is— an invasion of privacy!" you whined, trying to get your phone back to no avail. kiyoomi looked through all your saved edits with an amused look. "think you might be even more obsessed than these fans." he teased, his shoulders shaking as a chuckle escaped his lips.

"god, can't someone enjoy videos of their jaw-droppingly handsome, gorgeous, hot, attractive boyfriend in peace?"

"not when you're right next to said handsome boyfriend, watching those videos on the highest possible volume."

you waved off his quip, "details, details." you propped your head on his shoulder and watched in silent amusement as he regrettably decided to open the comments on one of the edits. he's not even sure how some of these comments slipped past community guidelines, while some were rather tame, gushing about how good he looked, some were so depraved he thought he was going to get permanent frown lines just by looking at them.

"if you though that was bad, you should see what i say on twitter."

for the sake of his sanity, kiyoomi decides against checking your twitter account.

my 31 pending school reqs will not stop me from kiyoomi posting!!

[ktaerssoi]

caught lacking

paige bueckers x fem!reader

summary: you get caught watching edits of paige.

notes: not proof read.

you had been getting edits of the team for a while, most of them were pretty cool and you liked to interact with the fans. that being said, some of the paige edits had you thinking about her more often.

you were in the weight room with ice, you had taken a little water break while she went off to finish some set. you hadn't noticed her walk over to you until you heard her laughing. you turn around quickly, shutting your phone off as you began to get flustered.

"it was on my for you page! it's not like i looked it up!" you were tryijng to defend yourself but you weren't helping much. "well your for you page is based off of things FOR YOU, so girl if you think paige is fine just come out and say it." ice smirks at you as you cross your arms, waiting to hear your confession.

"she's pretty yeah, but i wouldn't get with her. we're friends." you weren't even convincing yourself at this point, you knew you were in for it. "listen just please don't tell anyone else on the team, please."

because you have the best luck ever, paige, nika, and kk all walked into the weight room as you were speaking. your team was a nosy to say the least, so you weren't shocked when you heard "girl boo, i want to hear! you gotta tell me"

you shook your head at kk, sighing as you heard her start to complain about being out of the loop. you tense for a moment as you feel an arm around your shoulder but quickly relax when you realize its just paige, ice giving you a very obvious look.

kk, being the annoyingly observant idiot that she is gasps as she puts the pieces together. "finally!" paige and nika look over confused from the conversation they were having, and your face is paling considerably.

"kk bro shut up, its not what you think it is." you brush her off, going to focus back on whatever paige was talking about but she had taken her arm away confused. "wait what? i don't get it? what can't me a nika know?"

paige looks a tad betrayed, as if you holding information from her was a devastating loss. "it's nothing P, kk is just getting a head of herself." paige narrows her eyes at your excuse, not quite buying it.

"mhm okay," she goes back to whatever and it seems the topic is dropped.

-

a few days later you had gone out to dinner with the team, everyone had gotten up to get drinks but you, leaving you to entertain yourself for a minute or two. you pull out your phone, opening tiktok and seeing edits of paige and kate martin on your screen, scrolling for a little you find a weirdly entrancing edit of paige.

"hey, i know you said you didnt want a drink but i got you a dr. pepper.." paige's voice trails off as she notices clips of herself on your screen. you jump at the sound of her voice, causing you to drop your phone, the phone that it still playing once paige picks it up.

"i swear that was random, i almost never get those." you hurry to explain yourself, but are quickly cut off by paige. "dude, if you think i'm going to judge you based off the edits you watch of me, then yiou have never seen the ones of you. i mean seriously, you look good."

you nod at paige's words, a bit dumbfounded that the girl you had been slightly obsessing over just admitted to watching tiktok edits of you. "well, sounds like we should both get one of those privacy screen protectors." she laughs a little, nodding.

"also, um, sorry if this is weird but would you want to catch dinner some time? like just the two of us?? it doesn't have to be a date or anything," you cut paige out of her ramble, nodding as the team returned.

"sure P, just text me."

[nkjemisin]

Hey there. I'm writing a story set in New York City and am not American. I have few characters, but most of them are arab or white. I can't help but feel a bit wrong about it, given that America is much more diverse than that, and NYC being an emblem of that. Do you think I should force myself to include more representation or should I just tell my story, and leave that more diverse cast to some other story I could write? I know this is a neverending debate and there are many opinions about it, but I've always agreed with everything you've said in matters of representation in fiction, and so I'd be curious to know your personal answer on it.

I'm a little confused by how you're using "representation," here. It sounds like you think representation = "randomly sticking BIPOC everywhere." I think when most people use that word, it means something more like "create an accurate or at least plausible depiction of a group or place." In actual New York, there are plenty of Middle Easterners and white people who live in relatively homogeneous small communities where they might only see someone of a different ethnicity on the subway. If your story is set in one of those communities -- and you do stick some random BIPOC in that subway scene, because that's plausible -- then it sounds like your characters might be an example of good representation.

(Note: if you're not writing something set in the real world, but it features human beings, it needs to represent humanity as a whole, unless there's a good in-world reason not to. But if it's our world? You can get specific.)

Here's the catch, tho: plausibility is relative. If you've absorbed some biases and haven't done enough research, then you might end up writing something that feels plausible to you, but which isn't actually representative or plausible to anyone else. The way to avoid this is to do the research and check (to the best of your ability) your biases. For example, you aren't American, I assume you've at least visited NYC? If not, you should. You can visit some of the communities I mentioned! You can eat in restaurants, visit mosques, have conversations with actual real people who are living the life you're writing about! If you don't have the time, money, or spoons to do that, there are other ways to do good research -- films and YT/Tiktok videos made by people from the communities in question, for example. But you'd need to watch a lot of them to get a good representative sample.

I recommend this book to all the writing students I've taught at Clarion, and other writer workshops: Writing the Other, by Nisi Shawl and Cynthia Ward. There's a particular part of it that seems relevant here, which is a kind of hierarchy of "appropriate" appropriation, I think first mentioned by Diantha Day Sprouse but included in Writing the Other. Basically it says that if you want to write about a culture that isn't your own, you can learn about that culture in one of several ways: a) You can be an Invader, and just go take whatever intellectual and artistic tidbits from that culture that you want, regardless of how damaging this might be to members of that group. Example: non-Indigenous people who write about actual secret practices, or who encourage the desecration of sacred places. b) You can be a Tourist, in which you're still mooching from that culture, but at least you're figuratively paying someone for it and accepting tidbits that the culture has chosen to sell. Example: getting a sensitivity reader. Or c) you can be an Invited Guest, who brings in as much as they take out, and who has formed relationships that are beneficial to all involved. Example: being part of an exchange program, both as a student and later as a host, and maintaining those friendships outside of the program.

The goal is to be an IG, but that isn't always possible. Tourist is still better than being an Invader. (...I feel like I'm leaving out a category. It's been a while since I read the book; any more recent readers want to check me here?) But the closer you can get to actually participating in that culture, the more your work will be informed by reality instead of biases or misinformation, and the more likely your work will read as plausible not just to you, but to your widest possible audience -- people familiar with the culture and people who aren't.

(I'm a little concerned about your phrasing of "force myself to include more representation," note. Why would that need to be a forced thing? A writer's goal should be to write something that feels lived-in and authentic to [if it's a real place] most people's experience -- not to meet some arbitrary standard, but because that's how you master immersion and characterization. If good immersion and characterization feel forced to you right now, that suggests you need more practice. I recommend writing short stories!)

[kideaternomnom]

My Jumble of Random YutaMaki Headcanons

"But he has Rika 🤓☝🏻" stfu. She's a dead toddler so go find another post instead of commenting like some deranged monkey who got their banana taken away.

Yuta sends Maki those corny ass "send this to someone you love" videos on TikTok. She claims to hate it, however behind the screen she is blushing and having a crisis of how to reply to such affection on the inside. (Some people may disagree with this, but she's secretly kicking her feet and loving them. Even if she struggles to accept affection due to being put down her whole life.)

We all know poor girl struggles to accept basic affection at times due to being abused and underestimated her whole life. So, to try and heal from this and at least adjust to showing love she may try to warm up Yuta's hands if it's cold. Whether it be breathing on them, putting them in her jacket, or just holding them.

Yuta tries to take Maki out on walks when the weather is nice or pretty.

Gege said on Maki's page in the manga that she likes junk food. So I made a headcanon that she loves eating sweets or junk food with Yuta in his dorm.

This may sound cliche asf however I think he's most likely to be the type who would share headphones with his Maki to just relax and listen to music. She doesn't mind at all and is genuiunely surprised he has good music taste- (cough cough Mitski cough cough)

As I said in the last headcanon, they both share headphones to listen to stuff, right? Well Yuta most likely knows how much sexism and misogyny she went through in the Zenin household. So she sometimes turn on those "alpha male" podcasts just to make fun of them with Yuta and so they both can get a kick out of them- 😭

Panda back then would sometimes make Yuta use those cringe god awful pick up lines that claim to have "rizz" on TikTok. Poor boy was genuinely so naive he tried to use them for Maki but instead got a side eye and cringe look. (She cringed, but she deep down loved the effort.)

[velvetgutz]

Mine and Yours… (Pt. 1)

Leon Kennedy x M!reader

Summary: In what was probably the worse situation of your life, drunk and depressed at a bar with people you hate, a stranger at the bar lends you a hand…

Ao3 Link (More parts to come!)

When I pictured going to college for the first time, I thought It would be paradise compared to the pitiful high school experience I had. Never in a million years did I imagine I would be cramped in a shitty, 3 bedroom apartment with assholes from my high school,who judged me constantly for no real reason.

An ex-crush of mine, his girlfriend, and her best friend. All the same people who berated and humiliated me until graduation… But that’s not important.

I’ve always kept to myself, stayed as far away as I could, and minded my own business within the confines of our tiny apartment, not really ever interacting with them, or wanting to. So when they suddenly invited me to go out with them one night for drinks, dread pooled in my stomach. Even using the most absurd excuses couldn’t shake them from dragging me to whatever local bar they were planning to go to. Before I could protest any further, I was shoved into the back someones car, and on the way to the bar.

~

Screeching tires brought me out of an absent minded daze. I guess we’re here. The bar logo flickered every so often, neon lights disappearing in intervals. The place was fairly busy, a couple cars parked here and there. Stepping out into the crisp fall air, I exhaled deeply as a last ditch effort to rid myself of anxiety.

Generic Tiktok trend garbage floods my ears, and a familiar stench of alcohol sets me a bit at ease. My roommates gather at an already occupied booth. oh fucking great. An audible sigh falls from my lips. The occupants are friends of my roommates, all the more reason to be nervous.

Sitting at that table is not an option.

I begrudgingly walk over to the counter, picking the farthest seat possible. Not paying close attention, I ended up in the second-last seat, empty bar stool to my left and an occupied to my right. Waving over the bartender, my order was placed and shortly 2 shots sat in front of me. The more wasted I get the better I’ll feel. A intricate mixed drink was added to the palate for tonight.

From my peripheral view, the figure to my right stole a quick glance at my drinks and then to me, a look you’d miss if you blinked. Fuck, tonight’s gonna be hard…

~

My whole body burned from the alcohol in me. Even after drinking until I was almost too drunk to stand, the bicker and insults from my roommates couldn’t be blocked out. Could they just fuck off. If it wasn’t already obvious, the slurs thrown my way surely gave away there was a gay guy sat in the bar. The embarrassment enveloping me weighed down my body, almost resting my head on the counter as I swirled around another random cocktail in it’s glass.

Downing the last drops of my drink, I attempted to order another before a hand pushed mine flat to the counter.

“Don’t you think that’s enough for tonight, kid?” A rough, deep voice sounded in my ears. Ever so slightly turning my gaze to my right, my eyes focused on the man next to me. A dirty-blonde, mature looking guy. His hand moved from mine.

“Drinking doesn’t make it feel any better, go home.” He talked sternly. Who’s this guy think he is… My displeasure must’ve been written on my face, he let out a small sigh. “What’s the big deal with them anyways?” He tilted his head in the direction of the table behind us.

“My roommates,” I was slurring my words, the liquor was really hitting me. “thought it would be funny to take me out and announce to the whole world what a ‘disgusting faggot’ I am…” Fuck I sound pathetic. My voice came out low and raspy, alongside the slurring. A scoff sounded from the man as he downed the last of his drink. Slowly he stood up and stretched, reaching for my shoulder with a small tug.

“I’m calling you a cab, c’mon” There was that same tone of voice from before. I wanted to refuse and continue drowning myself in booze, but in the state I was in, refusal was impossible.

“I don’t want to go home…” It came out quiet, almost whining. Now half sat up, I was looking him in his eyes, pouting. He pulled me up from my seat the rest of the way and began to drag me out of the bar, laying a few big bills on the counter before our exit.

“I never said you had to go home.” I would’ve missed what he said if not for the sudden change of scenery. Outside the bar was cold, quiet. So quiet. Letting go of my hand, he grabbed a cellphone from his pocket and began calling someone. My whole body buzzed from how quickly I was brought upright and outdoors. Slowly swaying side to side, feeling the wind brush past me. Turning to the man, I watched him pull out a cigarette and bring it to his lips. A cloud of smoke bloomed shortly after as we stood on the sidewalk outside the bar.

“… cab will be here soon.” I was too focused on the way he looked in the streetlights to fully hear what he said. He was glowing, his features accentuated by the dramatic light shining down on us. “You there kid?” His fingers snapped in my face.

“Yeah, sorry…” Fighting myself not to gawk at him again became a challenge. “Where are you bringing me?” He glanced up the road, blinding headlights coming into sight.

“You can take my couch until you’re coherent,” he tossed the last of his cigarette to the ground, putting out the embers with his boot, “then you can go home in the morning.” The cab was here now, screeching to a halt. Grabbing my shoulder again, he guided me to the back of the vehicle, opening the door and motioning me in. Climbing in was hard, I was disoriented from everything I drank. He quickly joined me in the backseats, murmuring an address to the driver and slouching back into the seat next to me. What the fuck is my life… I relaxed as the cab began its route, my vision getting darker by the minute. As I swayed with the rhythm of the car, sleep took over…

[whaleofatjme1920]

Random mix of characters - sal fisher, alto clef, kondraki, and Ticci Toby - using their s/o’s titties as a pillow and just falling asleep there lmaoo

Sal Fisher, Dr. Clef, Dr. Kondraki, and Toby Falling Asleep on Their SO’s Chest

[GN!Afab reader]

[Warnings: it,,, gets a little suggestive? I mean, not really imo but be warned I do talk about tits. MINORS DNI.]

[AN: I describe ALL titties here (it’s kept very general; I don’t want to leave anyone out!!) but know my love is to those in the IBTC bc I’m biased <3]

Reblogs are appreciated!

Sal Fisher

Whatever’s comfortable is comfortable. Cares more about falling asleep to the sound of your heartbeat rather than the flesh on your chest. That said he has no preference whatsoever. I think Sal is boob guy through and through, loves them all. Literally.

I honestly think he’s a little shy telling you he wants to fall asleep in ‘such an intimate area.’ This doesn’t change if you were amab either! Sal isn’t a terribly bold guy. He’s always so respectful about asking too but doesn’t make it awkward. It’s a very natural thing between you two.

But he finds comfort snuggling up on to her chest and resting there. He’s worried he’ll like, suffocate you somehow? But it becomes to natural after a while he doesn’t even bat an eye. Mostly does this for nap purposes, sometimes for cuddle reasons. He actually prefers your head on his chest when cuddling!

He thinks you’re soft there. That’s all I really have to say on that. That and he gets to head your heartbeat, which makes the naps so enjoyable.

Dr. Clef

He’s a creepy man and makes lots of crude comments about “milkers” because he unfortunately was allowed access to tiktok but he doesn’t give a shit about the actual size. You could wear AAs and he’d still call them milkers.

Anyways yeah he’s gonna be your weighted blanket so buckle up baby. He won’t let you go. He wants a nap? Boom. Head down on your chest, he buries his face in them like he wants to suffocate and sleeps. Knocks right out. He’s also admittedly the most casual when it comes to this as well, using your breasts as a pillow whenever he feels like it.

He thinks that’s the most comfortable part of your body. Purely physically speaking—he does actually love you. Like clef is a pretty decent partner when he wants to be.

He finds it quite relaxing in the sense of de-stressing from the day. He’s kinda bad at coping mechanisms and doesn’t know how ask for help. So, when he wants to take a nap on your chest, and you’re willing, let him. He needs it. Needs you.

Dr. Kondraki

He’s one of those guys that doesn’t care about size but might lean towards medium (whatever that means, what even classifies as medium??). But regardless of size, I don’t think he’s really too crazy about falling asleep on your chest that much.

It’s not really against you, but he’s busy. Like really busy. Doesn’t want to slow down and cuddle that much at all! But on the rare occasion he’s too tired and you’re begging him to rest? Yeah, that’s the first place he’ll rest his head as long as you’re able.

He thinks your heartbeat relaxes him and he honestly enjoys the warmth. You tend to run your fingers through his hair, sometimes braiding it, and it puts him right out. He feels safe just being held by you.

Enjoy it while it lasts the man won’t do this often. It’s just not in him. Sometimes, late at night you’ll get him to crack and he’ll place his head on your chest, getting lost in the softness but most of the times no. So really, enjoy it while it lasts.

Toby

Yeah look at him and tell me he doesn’t have an affinity for boobs. I think, purely aesthetically speaking because this is sfw, he likes the shape and well, everything about them. He won’t ever call them milkers but he does call them your chest pillows.

Yes, he is always laying his head on them. Always. You often can’t get him to stop when the two of you are together. He gives you these puppy dog eyes and asks if he can cuddle and it always entails him resting his head on your chest.

He will bury his face in them and eventually pass out. You think it’s due to the lack of oxygen at first but Toby doesn’t care, your boobs are soft and he’s sleeping. Don’t wake him even if it feels like he’s stopped breathing.

The whole thing is kind of a safety thing for him. He feels safe with you like this, and well, he’s comfortable. Your body is soft and comfortable to him. Normally, he feels this weird need to be a protector and provide to prove something but when you let him lay his head down on your chest? It kinda changes. He won’t admit it, but he likes being taken care of that way.

[gavisuntiedboot]

Just Pretend (Gavi x reader)

Part 5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Epilogue

Warnings: SMUT!! MDNI or if you're uncomfortable! Profanity!! Swearing!! Ferran and Martin (based on the reactions I think they deserve their own warning)!!

Word Count: 11.2K (fun fact! If you've read the whole story, you've read 46 pages!)

A/N: I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, BUT THERE'S A LOT I WANTED TO INCLUDE IN THIS PART (AS YOU CAN TELL BY THE WORD COUNT)

[Incoming Facetime call from: Gavi]

"Gavi, you're going to have to learn to live without seeing my face 24/7. I don't want you experiencing withdrawal symptoms while I sleep."

"I just had a question about- is that a jar of pickles?"

"Yes. I felt like having a snack."

"You're disgusting."

"Listen, I brought several things back from university life in America, and a pickle addiction was one of them. Let me have little joys in life. What did you call me for? Besides to shame me for my midnight guilty pleasures?"

This was the 7th time in two weeks that Gavi had Facetimed you at odd hours. After your little heart-to-heart while drunk in the club, and him covering for you at work the next morning, he caved into the impulsive thoughts and called you, wanting to make sure you were okay.

"Gavi it's 10pm. If you want me to help you hide a body, call me during working hours."

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding at the sound of your voice. You were okay. Like actually okay. All of the distress in your voice, the shakiness, the panic - it had all disappeared. You were back to your cool self, and it filled him with a warm and gooey sense of relief. He kept you on the phone for about 10 minutes before his internal monologue told him it was enough, and he went to bed with a strange tightness in his chest.

For the first three weeks, it had been strictly texts and phone calls. Gavi was still sending you his daily little updates, some relevant, most not.

[Gavi]: Compression socks are really tight on my shins. Feels like they're cutting off my blood flow.

[Gavi]: pedri keeps telling me to eat bananas to help with my back cramps. Fact or cap?

[Gavi]: saw someone on tiktok make a Joao Felix thirst trap. Anything you want to confess?

This texting remained constant, and then he supplemented with phone calls. After the check-up call, he had to find new excuses to call you. He started scheduling his early-morning sessions over the phone instead of over text, asking about your life in the meantime. He started "forgetting" things in your office, calling to tell you he would be there before practice to pick them up. It hadn't annoyed you, per se, but confused you. Why was Gavi so comfortable calling you and just talking about random things on the phone? Initially, you had joked with him to stop calling you so frequently.

"Gavi, personal number. Personal. You should keep all work related stuff to emails only. I don't get paid to listen to you ramble about Game of Thrones."

"I know you well enough by now to know that if you didn't want to hear my voice, you would hang up."

He wasn't exactly wrong. You were not one to shy away from hanging up in someone's face if you were irritated (you had done it to Ferran the one time he called you from Gavi's phone). You also didn't really have anyone else to talk to. Angelika, despite acting unemployed, worked for a design house in the city, and her designs had been approved as part of the new line. She now spent every waking moment working on the spring/summer collection that needed to be shown in February. She had even stopped bugging you to go to the club. The only times you heard from her were when she sent "Hey I'm alive just busy" texts, or on the weekends when she begged you to drive her to the far fabric stores. There weren't many other people that you wanted to talk to. Your friends in the US were several hours behind. Your friends in Barcelona were kind of exhausting, and not who you wanted to hear from after a long day of work. And Martin?

Martin was ... interesting. You definitely liked being with him in person. Your dinners were romantic. Martin always picked you up and took you to the nicest restaurant, allowing you to order the expensive plates that would actually make you full. He always complimented your dress and your eyes and the way you looked despite having a long day at work. He was a theoretical great boyfriend. You liked going out with him every 3-4 days. You liked getting good morning and good night texts and the hot pre-game selfies whenever you checked your phone between shifts at work. But in those late nights when you were bored and lonely, and your TV shows were all boring you, Martin was not the first person you thought of calling.

While he was great over dinner, he wasn't the most entertaining or comforting presence. He had a habit of downplaying a lot of the things you were feeling or going through.

"Baby, people make sexual comments all the time. Just look at how people on Twitter talk about the players. You should be more flattered than anything that he complimented your ass."

That was the last time you ever called him after a long and tiring day of work. Your text messages were filled with only pleasant conversations. A good goal he scored in practice. Praise you received from the rest of the medical staff for your progress. Never your frustration with your job or your life or the sad boring things that regular, not famous not football players went through.

"It's like 7pm this is not a midnight snack."

The sound of Gavi's voice brought you back from your abstract thoughts. You looked at his face lit up on the screen. His hair was a little wild and still slightly damp from his shower. He was in a white t-shirt that hugged his shoulders. He placed his phone down so that he could show you his complaint.

"Remember how we were talking about my knee and thigh tightness? I've been trying to work out the muscle for a while but it's not helping."

He moved back from the camera, letting his black gym shorts and legs come in to the frame. He lifted his left short leg, showing off the pronounced muscles in his thigh. You brought the phone a little closer to your face, focusing on his leg. He flexed the muscle, and you swallowed hard. You had seen some of the best legs in football laying in front of you - so why was Gavi's slightly blurry form on FaceTime overwhelming you?

"Have you been doing the routine I gave you to improve blood flow? It looks like you haven't."

"It's hard to do! I tried multiple times and I'm just in pain every time. We just have a match tomorrow and like it's kind of uncomfortable. It's fine I can just play through it if you don't have any other recommendations."

This made you sit up. If there was one thing that would get both of you in deep shit, it was Gavi playing through a known and documented discomfort.

"You're not going to do that. If you get injured during the match then I-"

"Awe doctora, you're concerned about me getting injured?"

He got up close to the camera, smiling cheekily and feigning shyness. You rolled your eyes.

"If you get injured in the match I will get in trouble because your muscle tightness is in your file. So you have two options: do the blood flow massage I told you to, or I need to email Xavi now and tell him you should be playing a maximum of 60 minutes in tomorrow's match."

This statement made Gavi sober up, looking instantly more serious.

"We're not telling Mister Xavi anything. I actually don't know how to do the blood flow stuff without feeling like I'm peeling off my own skin."

"Would it kill you not to play all 90 minutes tomorrow?"

"Yes." There was not one indication, neither in his tone or on his face, that he was kidding. Gavi's love for football was evident, but it was deeper than most people saw. Barca wasn't just his club - it was the air he breathed, the blood in his veins. It was his family, his brotherhood since he was a child. It was the greatest love he had ever experienced, and he was honestly willing to lay his life down if it meant making Mister and the boys proud. He would die for this club.

"You know what doctora? You can just do it for me tomorrow morning before the match."

"You can't play right after we literally batter your muscles to increase blood flow. You have to do it within the next few hours to have enough time to rest. I wish you told me this morning, I could have..." Your sentence trailed as you looked at your front door. Your car keys were sitting in the dish. You had been thinking about going out to get some dinner, too tired to wait for chicken to defrost.

"Hello? Can you focus on the crisis at hand instead of daydreaming?"

"What if I came over and did it for you now?"

Gavi's eyes got wide and he stared at his screen. He was trying to process the information that had just slithered into his brain. You? At his house? At night? Alone???

"Wait." He said, and then hung up the call. You looked at your screen in confusion.

He stabilized his hands enough to find the contact.

*Calling: ~banana king pepi~ *

"Pick up pick up pick up pick up-"

"Hello?"

"Help. Me."

Pedri paused his game, much to the dismay of his brother, who was about to score a virtual goal.

"Pablo I know you didn't go to regular school, but you should know that in an emergency you should call the police."

"Y/n asked to come to my house."

Pedri bit back a laugh, removing the controller from his lap and putting the call on speaker so Fernando could be a part of the drama.

"You finally confessed that you're in love with her and want to kick her boyfriend's teeth in?"

"I'm not in love with her, we're just friends. That second part you might be right about." Gavi summarized your reasons for coming over quickly, asking Pedri for some sage advice while he and Fer raised their eyebrows at each other in amusement.

"As long as you have condoms, invite her over Hermano."

"I don't like her like that."

"Then why are you nervous about her coming to your place?" That was a good question. He didn't know why the idea of seeing you outside of work put all his internal systems on high alert, but it did. His hands were sweating at the prospect of opening the door and seeing you standing there in something other than scrubs.

"I'm not. I'm just going to tell her to come over. No need to make a big deal about it."

"Have fun Pablito." Fernando chimed in. Gavi scoffed and hung up. He called you once again.

"Where did you go?"

"Pedri called me to make sure we were going to the stadium together tomorrow. So, are you going to come here?"

"You never gave me an address. Or a yes for that matter." You laughed out. Your heart beat began to pick up. Did Gavi not want you at his place? Did he have another girl there? 'Why would he be calling you if another girl was there?' I don't know, brain, men are weird.

"Oh. Yeah. Yes. To coming over. I want you to. I'll text you the address right now." Something in your chest tightened at this statement. Your phone dinged, and you looked at the address Gavi had sent you.

"Cool. I'll be there in 20."

The drive to Gavi's place was calm. Old One Direction played over your car's aging speakers. The chilly night air came through the rolled down windows, winter finally making its first appearances in the middle of November. As you got closer to your destination, the surroundings started to look familiar.

Gavi was looking at the street from the window of his bedroom. In his La Masia shirt and black shorts, he had perched for all 18 minutes that it took you to drive over, right after he tidied the house. He didn't want you to think he was a teenage slob. If Gavi really thought about it, he would have admitted: all he wanted was for you to respect him - see him as a man. Someone put together and capable.

You parked at the bottom of his building, texting that you had arrived. He tried not to, but he ran down the whole staircase, swinging the door open before you had gotten out of the car.

"Hey. You know you live like walking distance from Martin?" You said, approaching the front door. Gavi's face soured at this news. He was never subtle about his distaste for Martin. After that night at the club, he had made it very obvious that he thought you should break up with Martin, or at least give him a stern talking to for leaving you to stumble around drunk and alone - especially since he was the one forcing drinks on you.

"Wonderful. I'll make sure to go and give him a nice neighborly gift."

"Like what? A black eye?"

"I was just thinking of pissing in his bushes but now that you mention it I really do think "bruised" is a good look on him..." He lifted his hand to his chin to look like he was thinking. You shoved him off balance, walking towards the door.

"Lets go, Gavi. I get cranky if I don't get all my beauty sleep."

He walked into the house first, holding the door open for you. You were honestly impressed: the place did not look like a teenager's house. The bottom floor was a spacious living room and dining room, with the kitchen connected by a low wall. The tan walls had vintage Barca and Spain National Team posters hung on them. There was a large TV mounted on the wall, a PS5 placed on the shelf beneath it, a pile of games stacked high. His couch was a long L shape. black leather wrapping around a black coffee table.

"You have a Barca coffee table book?" You asked, giggling slightly as you picked up the massive picture book.

"I've been with the club since I was like 11. Everything I own I have it in Barca colors."

You looked over at the stairs and the soft glow from the top of them. Something in you was dying to know what Gavi's bedroom looked like. How many hoodies he owned, what color his sheets were, how many pillows he slept on...

You shook yourself from this line of thinking. Despite the two of you getting closer and friendlier, Gavi was still technically just your coworker. You shouldn't want to know all these things about him.

"Ok where is the stone I gave you?" You put your hand out expectantly, and he dropped the black massage gua sha in it. Gavi moved to lay on the couch, mimicking what he would do in your office.

"Before you sit down, what have you been using as lubricant?"

He snapped his head at you, cheeks and the tips of his ears turning pink.

"I, I, um, lub- why do you need to know what kind of lubricant I use? That's a really personal question?"

You stared at him in confusion, wondering why he had gotten shy and stuttery at the question.

"So I can use that lubricant on you now?" He stood up, swallowing hard. He took several deep breaths before saying:

"y/n, I didn't invite you here to do anything sexual. If this is a joke that Pedri asked you to play it's-"

"Pablo you brainless bitch. I meant what have you been using as massage lubricant, because you're not supposed to scrape the stone across your dry skin."

You both stared at each other for a long moment. You had one brow raised, smirk playing on your lips. You were holding back a laugh at the thought: Gavi was thinking you wanted to know what he used to jerk off. Or sleep with someone. That second thought made you slightly nauseous. Gavi's eyes were wide, his mouth still open in shock. You had the courage to speak first.

"I see that the reason you have been feeling pain is because you have been giving yourself microabruises. Go get some oil or lotion so I can do this for you, and I expect my gas money in full tomorrow on my desk."

"Can you, uh, turn around?"

"Why?"

"I don't... I don't want you seeing where I got the lotion from."

"See now Pablo, if you had just gone upstairs, I would have thought it was from the cabinet or the bathroom. But since you've made it weird, you've confirmed that it's from your bedside table. Just go before you make this situation more sexually awkward."

“No but I-“

You held up one finger to your lips to silence him, then pointed in the direction of the stairs. He shuffled past you awkwardly and then took off, taking the stairs two at a time. You laughed to yourself. It was always funny seeing glimpses of innocence and youth in Gavi, especially since he was always pushing himself to act older and more mature.

Pablo was not having a good time. He ran to his bathroom to splash cold water on his now violently blushing face. He thought you would be able to see the mess of clothes in his bedroom if he opened the door. Now the conversation had shifted into an oddly sexual realm, and he didn’t know how to deal. The idea of sex didn’t usually embarrass him - it bothered him when the guys would talk about nothing else, but he thought he had finally reached a level of maturity where he could say “pussy” and not giggle. So why was he so damn shy right now? Why was he embarrassed to his core that you had mentioned him jerking off?

Pablo would describe his masturbatory habits as efficient. Once he and his teammates at La Masía turned 14, the medical staff had all sat them down for “the talk”. Obviously there was the parental stuff about safe sex and all that, but from a sports aspect he knew: sexual frustration is bad for performance. So a couple nights a week he would rub one out hoping to ensure optimal performance. Lately, however, he has lessened his “alone time” significantly. Since Ferran had shown him that picture of you, since he started daydreaming about holding your hand, the feel of your skin, he was borderline afraid to jerk off. He didn’t want to see your face. Coming to terms with the fact that he liked your company was already too overwhelming. Pablo was convinced this was a waiting game: you were just new and exciting. Eventually he would see another picture of another girl, and you would go back to “that one girl physio”, and he could jerk in peace.

He came back downstairs, sheepishly handing you a tube of lotion, and then quickly laying on the couch, hoping to avoid your line of sight.

“Lotion for Men? Gavi, you know that your skin won’t melt off it the product doesn’t say ‘for men’ right?”

“We had a media intern last year that saw a tube of strawberry chapstick in my bag, and she sent the picture to 3 or 4 gossip instagram pages, saying ‘look! Stuff for women! Gavi has a girlfriend!’ So now I only use stuff that can’t be mistaken as something for my nonexistent girlfriend.”

“What if they think you have a boyfriend instead?”

“That might be ideal actually. Then maybe I could go home without being mobbed.”

You smiled at Gavi, who was now more relaxed and far less red. His arms were crossed behind his head, legs stretched out and shorts rolled up slightly so you could access the upper parts of his thighs. You placed some lotion on his legs and began rubbing it in.

“Wow. Does the rest of the team know you offer private massage services?” He asked, resting his head and looking up at the ceiling.

“Obviously not. You think Ferran would ever leave me alone if he knew this was an option?”

Gavi laughed loudly at this. Watching you reject and diss Ferran on an almost daily basis was the highlight of training. Sometimes your responses were so creative that he would run to write them down before the end of the break. His personal favorite was when Ferran asked when you two were finally going to go on a date, and you replied with ‘After my lobotomy next week so my brain is immune to mind numbing conversation with you’.

But as he looked down at you, Pablo noticed that your face was twisted in distain. You began moving the stone around his thighs, working in sweeping downward motions. The frown lines etched hard into your skin, eyes narrowed in concentration and slight disgust.

“Does Ferran make you uncomfortable?”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“So the answer is yes he does.” Gavi’s voice was lowering with genuine concern. He and the team, the coaches, and even the rest of the physical staff only really laughed at or brushed off your daily interactions with the player. He hadn’t realized how deeply the comments were bothering you. But now it was evident as you swallowed and started working his thigh a little harder.

“I don’t want to speak ill of your friend.”

“If he’s bothering you, you should have told me. Or someone else on the team. We could have made him stop.”

“But why wasn’t me telling him I didn’t like it enough to make him stop?”

You pressed harder into Gavi now, stone running alone the muscles in his calf. You should have been using a lighter hand, but emotion you had been suppressing for months was all bubbling to the surface.

“You’re going kind of hard on my leg…”

“Why does it have to be you or Xavi or Dr. Gonzalez? Why do my words hold so little weight? So little value?”

“Okay this is painful now-“

“Why does it have to be one of you to say ‘hey, you shouldn’t make sexual remarks to someone on staff’? You think he tells anyone else their ass looks good in scrubs? Or that he’s glad their office has a door with a lock? No. It’s just me. Because I’m a girl he can talk about fucking me in broad daylight around the whole squad, and I have to shut up and keep him happy or I lose my job. It’s just so-“

“Ay fuck y/n!” Gavi yelled out, grabbing your wrist and tugging it forcefully to get you to stop your abuse on his leg. You grabbed his other thigh with your free hand, digging your fingers into the flesh. He looked you in the eyes, and finally noticed the tears starting to form.

“I know how you feel.”

"No you fucking don't, Pablo!" You yelled back, hand digging into his thigh, the other still in his grasp. This is when the first tear finally fell. I had been weighing on you for weeks - the slow realization that you were never going to respected in the way you deserved. A part of you knew that Martin was contributing to this burden as well. The arch of his brow when you talked about sports medicine terms, the mocking smile that played on his lips. The way he had adopted Ferran's disgusting little pet name of 'nurse'. You were disintegrating from the inside, and knowing that the others thought it was a joke, that Pablo thought it was a joke, was the final straw.

Gavi could do nothing but stare. His eyes softened, taking in your slumped form. It was like watching Hercules fall to his knees. Like watch the stars were falling from the sky and hitting the Earth in a fiery blaze. Watching you, who was normally so cool, so confident, so self assured, shake with silent tears was breaking something in Gavi. The way you said his name made his heart physically ache. You rarely diverted from his nickname to use his first name. 'When you did, it usually indicated a serious tone 'Pablo' meant there was something serious, something heavy. Now that heaviness was against your throat, suffocating you, and you were tired of carrying it.

Gavi stopped thinking. He acted on impulse only. He tugged the wrist that was in his hand, pulling you in. Your head met with his hard chest, and you felt one arm circle your shoulder. You remained like this for a long moment: up against Gavi, his arm pressing you into his chest, his shirt soaking up the wetness on your cheeks.

"'m sorry. I wont let him talk to you that way anymore."

You composed yourself, pushing yourself off Gavi and wiping your eyes. You looked away, embarrassed that you'd made him comfort you - that you'd broken down in front of him.

"It's okay. I can deal with Ferran."

"But you shouldn't have to."

"It's not your job to protect me, Pablo."

You finished the rest of your job in silence. Your fingers moved expertly around his skin, working out the muscle and pressing into his flesh, a soft gasp or hiss from Gavi being the only sound to fill the room. Your anger was irrational, but you couldn't quell it. You had gotten this far in life without the protection or defense of anyone, and you weren't prepared to be coddled now. You finished quickly, wiping your hands on your pant legs and moving to grab your bag.

"I'm going to go now. Get some sleep for tomorrow's match against Betis. Good night." You tried to walk past Gavi without looking up, but he blocked your path.

"You're in my way."

"You're not leaving while you're upset."

"You want me to stop being upset? Stop pretending you give a shit about my feelings. You want to look like a man? Telling off Ferran so people think you're a good person?" You shoved past Gavi once again, and once again he moved in front of you, blocking the door completely.

"Just because you're older than me doesn't mean I'll let you disrespect me in my own house. I'm not pretending to give a shit. I do give about your comfort and your feelings because last I check, we're friends. I've been waiting to break Ferran's shins for weeks, I've just been waiting for you to say so."

"You think it would make me feel better for you to hurt a teammate? Could you be any more juvenile?"

Gavi took a step towards you, arms crossed over his chest, breathing more heavy. He looked you straight in the eye, not allowing you to break from the gaze.

"You can yell at me all you want. You can be angry at the fact that I care about you. You can punch me," he hit on his chest, "right here if you want to. But I am not a child. Don't refer to me as one. So you can go an be upset and pretend that everything I do is selfish, but you know deep down that no matter how much you push me away, I'm looking out for your best interest." He opened the door and stepped aside.

"Drive safely, doctora."

You walked to your car, turning to gaze at Gavi, who leaned against the door frame, watching you intently. You were the most confusing person he had ever met. You were stubborn and easily irritated. You refused to accept help. You were fucking frustrating. But as he watched you walk to your car, something warm filled his body. He didn't want you to leave. He wanted to rush after you, pull you into his chest again, and take you upstairs. He wanted you to see the mess in his bedroom. He wanted you to lay on the couch. And the drive didn't feel like you were going home. It felt like you had left something important behind.

~

The next morning you were up before your alarm. You couldn't find sleep or peace. Your words to Gavi had eaten you alive all through the night. You knew you had been too harsh, projected too far onto him, but you hadn't been thinking straight. It hurt differently to think that he was laughing at your expense. The guilt followed you around all morning as you prepared yourself for the match. You slicked back your hair, pulling it away from your face, and dressed in the slacks and pullover that all the field medics were regulated to wear. But as you sipped your lukewarm coffee, the guilt still sat in your stomach, swirling and festering and making you nauseous. So you swallowed your pride with your last sip of coffee and pressed the call button.

"Uh, hello? Am I late?" Gavi's voice asked, raspy and dripping with the remnants of sleep. He sounded like a child who was woken up for school.

"Oh no, you're not late. I'm up early... couldn't sleep."

"Why not?" Gavi was now fully awake after processing that you had called him. His heartrate elevated slowly, the sound of your voice helping the tiredness slip away from his very being.

"I... I feel guilty about yesterday. I shouldn't have taken out all my anger on you and your thigh tissue. I really appreciate you looking out for me. I guess I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

Gavi was leaning against his sink, swaying back and forth and smiling stupidly. You were thinking about him. You appreciated him. It made him swell with pride. He listened intently to the rest of your apology, hypnotized by the sound of your voice.

"There's no need to apologize doctora. I understand that you were upset."

"But I still feel bad. I was.. pretty mean to you yesterday. I want to make sure that you're not still upset with me."

Gavi looked into the mirror, smiling and dancing at your response.

"If you really want to make it up to me, I would like to cash in my favor."

You were in the process of grabbing your keys when you paused, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"Favor? I don't remember owing you any favors."

"La doctora, you don't remember? Let me refresh your memory. You go home drunk and don't set an alarm. I come up with a wonderful and convincing excuse for Dr. G so that you don't get in trouble. You owe me, and I quote, anything I want. Ring any bells?"

You scrunched your face and groaned in distain. You remembered rather vividly now the promise you had made.

"Alright Gavi, hit me with it. I can take it. How am I repaying you saving my job?" You heard a low chuckle from the other side of the line.

"You'll be driving me home from the stadium starting today until we break for Christmas."

"What?!"

"You'll be driving me home. Pedri is working with Adidas for several campaigns over the next month, and it'll be a pain getting home after practice. Since you know the way now, you can get there easily. And hey, you can even visit Martin afterwards."

You started your car, thinking about the ask. It was on your way home anyways to drive by Gavi's neighborhood. And it would probably make you both even after your missteps.

"Fine. We will discuss further in the stadium when I see you. Go go, prep for the match. I want us to win today."

"We are going to win for sure. Give us a harder goal."

"Don't be arrogant Gavi. See you at noon."

~

Matchday at the camp was always extremely hectic, but especially for the medical staff. Meetings started at 9am despite the game not beginning until 3pm. All the equipment had to be approved by La Liga through inspection. Your wardrobe was inspected as well, and once again you were told off for not removing your rings. You pulled them off your fingers begrudgingly, hearing once again the lecture about rings tearing gloves. You were already over the match by the time the players started to arrive.

You made your way to the locker room to do some checks on players with pre-listed discomforts, making suggestions to prevent injury during the game. You were greeted warmly by the players as you pulled out your clipboard and pen. You made your way around, telling certain players to wear compression socks, and instructing others to stretch in certain ways. You made your way over to Pedri and Gavi, pulling out your notes.

"Pedri, how is that right thigh?"

"Amazing, y/n. I've been using resistance bands nightly like you instructed. I feel as flexible as playdoh."

"Always great to hear. Also congrats about the expanded Adidas contract." Pedri lifted his shirt over his head and looked at you somewhat confused.

"Ah thank you but... which contract specifically?"

Gavi's eyes were wide in panic. He had forgotten to fill in Pedri about his little white lie. It was true that Pedri had some filming with Adidas, but it would take about 3 days max. There was no reason that Gavi could pinpoint that would make him lie to get you to drive him home for 4 weeks. But he did it anyways, and now he needed to make sure it didn't collapse because of a lapse in communication.

"Gavi told me you'd be filming with Adidas, so I'll be driving him home until the Christmas break."

Pedri shot a look to the younger boy, one eyebrow arched, and found the expression of desperation on his face. The smile crept onto Pedri's face, proud of his friend for finally making some sort of move with you, even if he was yet to admit it was made because of the crush he was harboring.

"Oh that's right! They have us filming a lot of content at night to show off the color of these new boots, so it's really helpful that you'll be taking little Gavi home."

The sigh of relief was almost a little too loud. Gavi would fill Pedri in later, but for now, he was glad that he hadn't been caught in the lie.

"Anytime. Now onto little Gavi himself - how is the thigh tension?" You worked on Gavi, evaluating his physical form.

"I didn't know the nurse was making house visits today!"

Your jaw clenched and eye twitched at the sound of Ferran's voice. You took a deep breath, calming your nerves, and continued to check for signs of bruising and distress, crouched close to the ground to inspect Gavi's thighs.

"Wow Pablito, got her on her knees for you? You'll have to tell me the secret."

"Ferran, you couldn't get a dog to love you if you were covered in bacon. Be quiet and get changed so you can sit on the bench for 90 minutes."

You looked up at Gavi, shocked at his response. You squeezed his thigh, causing him to meet your concerned gaze.

"Gavi, tell me to shut up again and you'll be preparing for a prolonged hospital stay."

"I'd like to see you fucking try, Torres." Gavi moved from his place, approaching Ferran, before a hand from Pedri gripped his shoulder. One of the assistant coaches noticed the argument and rushed over, eager to prevent his players from killing each other.

"What the hell is going on?"

Ferran looked at Gavi with disgust, and then turned his eyes to rest on your chest.

"I think y/n is creating an uncomfortable environment in the locker room. I'd prefer if she wasn't here." He said, smirk playing on his lips. Your face paled, the colors draining and nausea bubbling. The last thing you needed was a complaint from a player.

"She wasn't doing anything except looking at my leg. She didn't even speak." Gavi responded, voice high and a touch too loud to be respectful.

"y/n, it may be better if you leave for field inspection. Send in Antonio to continue current problem rounds."

You nodded and walked out of the locker room, feeling utterly embarrassed. All you ever wanted was to make a good impression and be respected, and it seemed that no one paid your wellbeing any mind. You bit back your feelings and went to find Antonio. Gavi was not as merciful.

"What mental deficiencies do you suffer from that would make you say that? What if she loses her job?"

"She won't lose her job. She'll get a warning because of player complaints, and then she'll come to me and do whatever I ask to get the complaint removed. Just want to watch her bend over that desk just once before they realize she's incompetent."

"Say nasty shit about y/n in front of me again and I'll kick your fucking teeth in."

Ferran wanted to laugh, but the sound died in his throat when he saw the look in Gavi's eyes. His eyes were angry, cold-blooded, and murderous.

"You wouldn't dare." He retorted, trying to regain some confidence by calling the bluff.

"We play football for a living. I can make it look like a fucking accident." With that, Gavi left the locker room, ready to be away from Ferran and his punchable face.

~

Normally, you loved being on the sidelines for matches. You got to watch all the action as it occurred, and you got hands-on experience with the Barca players and the visiting teams (maybe it was bad, but you prayed Joao would need medical attention when Atletico was at Camp Nou). You got to enjoy every aspect of your job, and feel like you had come a significant way in your journey. Normally. Today, you wish you were at home or in your office or anywhere but the sidelines. Word had gotten back to both the coaching staff and the rest of the team about the little disagreement in the locker room, and now all eyes were on you. Xavi gave you the normal courtesy head nod, but gave you specific instructions to stay away from the bench and the players. It was a mortifying experience, and you prayed this game would end quickly and painlessly.

Your wish was granted in the first half. The team was playing cohesively and relatively safely, with a couple fouls here and there but no injuries requiring any attention. Lewandowsky scored a goal in the 34th minute, putting the team in the lead 1-0 at the half (during which, you were asked not to be in the locker room or the tunnel). This only made you feel worse. Player complaint were the kiss of death for any aspiring professionals in sports. You get into a disagreement with a player? You're gone. Why? Because there are thousands of physios and photographers and water boys, but only onw left forward worth 48 million Euros.

In the second half, however, you did not get your wish. Areal collisions came one after the other, requiring you to rapidly check players for any sort of head trauma. In the 67th minute, Gavi assisted Pedri with an amazing goal from deep in the box. You jumped when you saw the ball hit the back of the net. Pedri did his signature goal celebrations, and after he pulled away, your eyes locked with Gavi. He raised his eyebrows at you and you returned the gesture, and then he resumed the aggressive attacking. At minute 70, you were contemplating packing your things. The intensity of the match had died down significantly. Barca were passively looking for a third goal, and were not as prone to injury. This all changed in minute 72, when the midfielder decided he hated Gavi. Dribbling with the ball, Gavi was trying to turn to give him more options to pass or dribble, but he was surrounded by three people. As he tried to break free, the Betis player's knee collided with Gavi's groin. Hard.

The sound of the collision and then the fall to the ground sounded like it was heard in the entirety of the stadium. Your jaw went slack and eyes went wide. Gavi was on the floor, unmoving. You didn't even think, using enough brain power to grab the medical bag at your side, and then sprinted across the field to Gavi. There was a crowd of players surrounding him now, creating a tight ring of people. You approached the group, placing your hands on the nearest person, and then shoving.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY! MEDIC! MOVE!"

You finally go the bodies to disperse, and laying there was Gavi, tears in his eyes and whimpering from pain. He had one arm slung over his face, and the other gripped his shirt in immense pain. When he saw you approach, he looked at you with pleading eyes, begging for anything that would stop the throbbing pain he was experiencing.

"Gavi, where did you get kneed exactly? Where is the most intense pain?" You asked, kneeling to the ground and pulling on your gloved.

"My... my dick. I got kneed in the dick and it feels like hell." He replied. He was in too much pain to be shy. His dick fucking hurt, and he wanted anything to soothe the pain as quickly as possible.

"Gavi, I'm going to touch you now, okay?" You asked, hand hovering over the area. He nodded, not fully processing what you were saying or what was happening. You placed your hand over his dick and his eyes shot open. You began to massage the area slightly, moving your hand around, trying to prevent receptors of pain from activating and working to increase blood flow to the area.

And increase blood flow you did. Gavi felt the blood begin to pool in his shorts, and now that the pain was subsiding the embarrassment was returning, he took in what was actually happening. You had one hand on his cock and balls, moving them around slowly, and one on his hip, making sure the area wasn't sensitive. You looked up at Gavi, who was still in somewhat intense pain.

"Here, give me your hand." You placed your hand atop his, guiding it to his injury.

"Keep moving your hand around where you got kneed, and we'll get you on the bench. I would give you ice but I don't think that's idea here. Can you walk alone?" Gavi nodded, and you and the medical staff cleared the field. Gavi walked to the bench himself, earning cheers and love from all the fans in the stadium. He sat on the bench, continuing to massage his bruised genitals, and trying to make his blush subside by the end of the match.

~

After a stunning 3-0 win, you were ready to go to bed and never wake up again. Your whole body ached, and you had gotten dizzy from the sun exposure mixed with the biting chill of late November. You were barely able to drag your body to the players area - which you still could not enter. You received an email on your phone saying that Dr. Gonzalez would speak to you personally regarding the player complaint. Just as you were ready to burst into tears, Gavi emerged from the locker room, Pedri trailing close behind.

"Enjoy the game today?" Pedri asked, pulling you out of your trance.

"Loved it. I just wish Gavi could stop running into people so I could have a better viewing experience."

Gavi took this as an opportunity to enter the discussion, groaning on about how the other teams bullied him and were extra tough on him as the three of you walked to the garage.

"See you tomorrow, Pedri." You waved, unlocking your car and climbing into the driver's seat. He waived at you, and approached Gavi to hug him goodbye. As he pulled the younger boy in he whispered in his ear.

"I don't know how you thought of this little lie, but now you're going to be alone with her every day for four weeks. Ready to admit that you like her?" Gavi let out a fake laugh, playfully slapping Pedri on the shoulder.

"I don't like her like that. I just want to relieve some burden off of you, Hermano."

"Mhm yeah I'm sure. Just try not to get hard watching her drive on your first ride home. Wait until day 4 or 5." With that, Pedri walked to his own car, getting ready to call Fernando and update him about the circus that was Pablo's love life, and enjoying only being mobbed by 1/2 the normal amount of fans.

Gavi walked to your car quickly, climbing in and tossing his bag in the back. He tried not to think about Pedri's words. He was perfectly capable of sitting next to you, his friend, without being aroused just because you were a girl. At least he hoped he was. He was not hunched over and thinking deeply. Why did he decide that this was the best way for you to repay him? It's not like Pedri had ever complained about chauffeuring him around. And it's not like he didn't enjoy rides home with Pedri, listening to Quevedo and making idle conversation. But lately he just wanted to be around you - make sure you were okay.

The ring of your phone broke Gavi's train of thought. You answered on your car's speaker.

"Hola Martin. How are you doing?"

The sound of Martin's voice twisted Gavi's intestines, making him nauseous and fatigued. He hated the sound of his voice, the thought of his face, the words that he strung together and decided to say to you.

"Hola sexy. How are you doing this evening?"

You rolled your eyes. You knew exactly why Martin had chosen to call at this time. You had texted him earlier in the day, asking if he would be home that evening so you could drop by. This had led to a brief inquisition, with Martin wondering why you wanted to see him suddenly, and why you would be in his neighborhood. Once he found out it was because you would be in a car with Gavi alone, something in his behavior switched. He suddenly wanted to be a doting boyfriend who called and checked up on you.

"I'm doing well. You're on speaker in the car. I'm driving Gavi home right now."

"Are you still coming over afterwards? I've missed you so bad." Martin whined out that last part in such an animated way that it made you want to laugh. You knew what he was doing. He wanted to assert his dominance over Gavi, and make it think that you were going to swiftly go get railed by Martin right after you delivered Gavi at his doorstep. the truth was, despite dating Martin for several months now, you two had yet to go all the way. There had of course been kissing and some heavy petting, but no articles of clothing had never his the floor.

"I'll see how I'm feeling after Gavi leaves and call you then. Bye Martin." You said quickly, hanging up the call once you took a quick look at the disgusted look Gavi had plastered on.

"I'd mock you if I didn't think I would throw up." He said, trying to be lighthearted but failing. You didn't reply, feeling slightly embarrassed that he had to listen to your boyfriend's weak attempts to prove his manliness.

"No it's okay, go ahead and mock my boyfriend who moans on the phone when other people can hear." Your laugh was also stiff and forced. The call had made the air thicker and the mood more tense. You handed Gavi the phone, instructing him to play some music so that you weren't sat in the awkward silence that Martin seemed to always create between the two of you.

"This is a lot of pressure now on me. I'm never on AUX." He says, scrolling through his music. He pressed the song, and the sound poured from the speakers.

"Enrique Iglesias? Isn't he before your time?" You asked, smiling from ear to ear. You loved Cuando Me Enamoro, and the familiarity helped release the tension from your shoulders. As the song played, you started softly singing along. You opened the cover of the moon roof, allowing more of the street light to enter the car.

Gavi turned to look at you, examining your features. Your eyes were soft, focused on the road ahead of you. Your fingers drummed against the steering wheel to the beat. You had one leg up as you drove, leaning into the door slightly. Your lips moved along with the lyrics, singing contently. Gavi could not move his eyes from the sight. Your lips forming every letter were drawing in his focus, hypnotizing him. He never wanted to look away from the soft pink flesh. His thoughts began escaping his control. He wanted to hear you sing louder. He wanted to hear you speak, watching those lips talk about anything your heart held a passion for. He wondered what they would feel like against the pads of his fingers. He imagined what it would be like to kiss them - softly at first, just to feel their warmth and softness. Then harder, to interlock with his own, to bite them, pull them, have them stretched around him, make them cry out his name.

"Pablo?"

He snapped up, giving himself whiplash. Gavi had not noticed that he had rested himself on the center console, leaning against his palm and daydreaming so deeply it drowned out the sound of your voice calling his name.

"Sorry to disturb your deep pondering, but we're here." He looked up at you, vision still rose tinted from the deep dive he had conducted on your lips. His mouth hung open, wanting to say something, but the words would not form in his head. He wanted to touch you. He wanted you to be closer. But he couldn't say it. So instead he extended his hand for a fist bump, coupled with a quick mutter of 'goodnight'. He grabbed his bag, quickly closing the door and digging for his keys.

"Gavi?"

He looked back at you. Your eyes locked for a moment. His hazel eyes conveyed an emotion that you couldn't understand. You didn't want to look away from him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" There was a plead in the question that didn't escape either of you. It was a request. You wanted to see him. His eyes softened, crinkling at the sides as a smile spread across his space.

"Of course, doctora. Drive safe, and let me know when you get home."

Your eyes remained locked until Gavi shut his front door. He leaned against it breathing deeply, as you leaned your head against your steering wheel. You both felt a deep longing for the other, the feeling of "I miss you" sinking in as soon as the door clicked. But he got off the door, and you turned your engine back on, and you both ignored the feeling that something was missing.

~

Gavi was proud of himself. He was only half hard after leaving the car, despite the most sinful and inappropriate thoughts about your lips festering in his mind. He tried to eat, but he had no appetite. All he wanted to do was call you, text you, read your old messages. He threw his phone on his bed. He didn't understand why you now took up so much of his headspace and thought. He went to shower for the third time that day, hoping to relieve the tension permanently etched into his limbs.

You knocked on Martin's door for a third time. You had called him from Gavi's to let him know you were coming. He answered the phone out of breath and rushed, telling you to just come over, and hanging up quickly. It was night and day from the concerned lover that had called earlier. On the drive over you rationalized his behavior. Did you really have time for a boyfriend that wanted to talk to you often and be with you and have sex and sleepovers? No. You were busy and focused on advancing your career. So maybe Martin and his distance and indifference was actually perfect.

He finally opened the door after three rounds of knocking and two phone calls.

"You're here sooner than I expected." He said, cheeks slightly pink and breathing fast.

"Yeah Gavi lives really close by. Can I come in?" You asked, raising an eyebrow at his form, which blocked the entryway entirely.

"Uh," he looked over his shoulder before responding, "yeah sure. Come in." You entered his house, removing your shoes at the door. Martin had called you "backwards" the first time you did this at his house. As a person in medicine, you couldn't comprehend tracking the entire bacteria ecosystem onto the floor of his house, but it was one of those things you just agreed to disagree on.

"Making sure the other girlfriend left before letting me in?" You laughed, and he spun around quickly, grabbing you by the shoulders and leaning down to look at you.

"I know you make a lot of jokes, but this can't be one of them," he said, his tone somber and serious. "Don't ever joke about me being a cheater. It's not who I am and I am a better person than that." You were shocked by his sudden change in mood, putting your hands up in surrender and apologizing.

Gavi laid awake in bed, legs tangled in the sheets, moving from one side to the other, unable to find a single moment of rest. He checked the phone on his nightstand every couple of minutes, waiting to see your name light up the screen. Why weren't you home? It had been over an hour since you had left his house. Martin was definitely not interesting enough to keep you at his place for so long, especially after a match day. The longer he thought about it, the more the sweat pooled on his brow and the dread seeped into him. Maybe you two were having sex. Maybe you would be spending the night at his house, and Gavi would never get the "I'm home" text. He tried to calm himself, but everything irritated him. Why did you have to leave him to go to your stupid boyfriend's house? Why did he want you to tell Martin to fuck off and lay on the couch with him? Why did he want to know so badly if you two were having sex?

As with most news he got about your relationship, he heard the tip from Ansu who obviously heard it from Ferran: after three months together, you and Martin had still not had sex. After the initial 'why the hell are you guys talking about this', Gavi started to listen to Ansu's gossip as he packed his things after practice. He heard about Martin's complaints.

"Apparently, he told Ferran that she will kiss him and touch him and make him hard, then she will pull away and go home. He said first it was like exciting - ya know, being teased, playing hard to get. But now he's kind of getting impatient ya know. Ferran told him to get another girl."

"To break up with y/n?" Gavi asked a little more enthusiastically than he intended. Pedri looked up from his phone and raised an eyebrow at Gavi, but refrained from making a comment. He wanted to go home, and he knew the longer this conversation continued, the longer it would be till he could sit in front of his TV and play FIFA.

"No not to break up with her. Ferran was like 'oh you know she's wife material like she is good in front of cameras and will look nice for your Wikipedia page. But if you want to have sex just go to a girl in a club and sleep with her and then do the couple shit with y/n when you feel like it. You already set her expectations low."

Pedri swears to this day he saw the smoke rise from Gavi's ears at the suggestion that Martin cheat on you. In football and in life, Gavi hated cheats. He wanted to tell you, but was advised against it.

"Unless we hear that he is actually cheating on her, there's no need to hurt her feelings or add stress to her life."

So now he sat in bed, frustrated in more than one way, as he thought about you and Martin having sex. He closed his eyes, hoping to conjure up a new mental image, but all he saw was you. You were in the same sweatshirt and leggings that you had come over in the other day. Martin was nowhere to be seen. You were in the living room, laying on the soft leather of the couch, beckoning Gavi over.

He felt the blood begin to pool and his cock start to harden. He threw one arm over his eyes, groaning loudly. It had become a common occurrence for him to get horny when thinking about you, but usually he could will the image away by reminding himself that you two were friends and would not be anything more. Usually. Today it wasn't working. The image of you on his couch, licking your lips and calling him over refused to disappear. The tighter he closed his eyes the stronger it got.

He moved his hand to palm his aching erection through the fabric of the boxers he had worn to sleep. The you in his head was standing now, playing with the hem of your sweatshirt. The sight of skin (imaginary as it was), encouraged him further, and set his very skin ablaze. He pushed down his boxers, stroking himself slowly now. In his head now, you had slowly stripped away your sweatshirt, leaving you in a bra and tight leggings that cupped your ass in the most sensual ways. He was panting now, breathing heavily, switching between stroking his cock and playing with the head. In his mind you stripped off your leggings, leaving you in just your bra and panties for him to stare at, taking in the sight of your body. Beads of precum formed at the head, which he spread around, teasing his most sensitive nerves. He knew once he came you would disappear, and he didn't want to be without you.

The real you was in a similar position: seductive and shirtless. You were currently under Martin, shirt having been discarded somewhere in the living room as he pressed you into the couch. He broke from you to pull off his shirt, then captured your lips once again. You move fervently to match his pace. He kneaded your breasts between his hands. Rough. Everything Martin did was fast and rough. And you tried to keep up, but the only sounds leaving you were heavy breaths from exertion, not arousal.

The scene in Gavi's head switched perspectives. He was now on the couch, legs spread open, inviting you in. You walked towards him slowly, and he drank in the sight of you. You crawled onto his lap, straddling him, and rested your forehead against his. Your eyes, your lips, your breasts - the image of all three sent shock waves through his body and straight to his cock. He gripped it now. He wanted to turn to his nightstand, grab something to lubricate with and stroke in earnest, but he was afraid he would lose the vision of you.

In Martin's house, the real you was searching for an escape. Martin was kissing your neck, grinding into you like a dog in heat. After a few minutes he noticed that you had gone silent, even your breathing relaxing now. He came up to look at you. What kind of girl didn't get turned on from activities like this? He decided to switch positions so that you were laying on top of him, and he dug his fingers into your hips and ass pressing your clothed core against him. He was unmistakably hard, but you felt nothing. There was no pool in your panties or heat in your loins. You were kissing him hard but felt, well, indifferent. Like you might rather be doing laundry.

In Gavi's head, you were a puddle. He had captured your lips between his own, kissing you deeply as you rocked against him, the kiss only breaking when he hit your sweet spot, causing you to moan out. He let his hands roam your bare skin, and he could almost feel the warmth. Fingers resting on your waist, he moved with you, rutting against each other and chasing your release. He looked down at the two of you, watching the wet spot on your panties grow as you ground your clit into his hard-on. He moved to your neck, kissing and suckling until little marks bloomed on the skin. You whimpered out, and now Gavi wanted to do everything in his power to make you moan in earnest. You were looking at him with those gorgeous eyes, begging, pleading, imploring Gavi to do more. And he wanted to do so much more.

The action ended for the real you rather quickly. Martin was pushing you against him, bruising your pelvic bone as he chased his own orgasm, almost forgetting that you weren't a sex doll. You decided to help finish him off quickly and go back to your place. Maybe you would still have time for that laundry. You placed your hands on either side of his head, his face basically buried in your breasts, and you started to grind into him earnestly, rocking your hips in a way that you knew drive men crazy. Within 45 seconds he was cumming in his pants, moaning loudly, and pressing into you so hard you were worried it would leave marks. You gave him a quick kiss and tugged your shirt back on. You both exchanged words about seeing each other soon, and you walked out of his house to your car alone and unsatisfied.

Gavi was almost in pain. His cock was angry and throbbing, begging for him to stroke himself in earnest. But he couldn't do it dry, and he would rather remove his cock entirely than lose this dream of you. You were now in front of him, on your knees, touching his upper thighs. He felt the ghostly sensation on his skin as he remembered every time you pressed your fingers into the muscular flesh in your office (or on his couch). You pulled down his boxers, and his cock sprung free. You leaned over and let your tongue hang from your mouth, your drool flowing on to his cock. Gavi brought his hand up and spit in his palm, pretending it was you. He brought it back down and began stroking, long fluid motions from base to tip. You were also stroking him, looking up at him with those big innocent "fuck me" eyes, and he couldn't stop himself from moaning out.

He wanted you. He wanted you to be on your knees for him, on his lap, under him in bed. He wanted you. He had never been harder in his life. And then he got to those lips. Those pink perfect lips that spoke to him so gently, teased him, called out his name - in his mind he watched them stretch over his cock. His self restraint snapped. He brought his hand up again, spitting into his palm multiple times, and beginning to stroke his cock rapidly. He wished it was you. He wished it was your smaller hand wrapped around him, so he could guide you to stroke it in just the way he liked. He was playing with the head of his cock now, imagining your lips sinking deeper and deeper over him, looking up at him with tears in your pretty eyes.

There was no more pretending and no more care. The sheets were thrown off, the room filled with heavy breaths, groans, and the squelching sound of Gavi pumping his cock. His dream you had pulled of and was now leaving gently kisses on his cock, licking the head shyly. Your lips were red and swollen, a product of his passionate kisses and his member. Gavi was almost there. He squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could, trying to see you, imagine you more clearly. You were alternating licking at his slit and sucking on his head. He was gone. Moans of your name mixed with "please" filled his room. He wished you were there. He wanted to feel your skin, the smooth warmth under his finger tips. He wanted to hear your voice, soft and silky and telling him how good he was going. He was so, so close. He had never edged himself this much in his life, but he wanted to keep watching you.

The dream you pulled off of the head of Gavi's cock, placing a kiss on it, before crawling back up his body. He tried to capture your lips in yet another kiss, but he couldn't. He felt you drape yourself over his thigh, grinding into the muscle there as you pumped his cock for him. He fisted his own cock at a bruising pace. He would deal with the consequences afterwards. Now he was ready to cum to you, for you. You leaned into his ear, still riding his thigh, one hand wrapped around him, and you moaned out,

"Pablo."

His orgasm washed over him in a tidal wave, knocking the air out of him. He moaned your name out loudly, filling the whole house with his sounds of pleasure. Cum landed on his chest, and he continued to pump himself through the orgasm, thinking of you and riding out his high. When it was over, he calmed himself and worked to slow his breathing. His eyes were still screwed shut, but you weren't there anymore. He was alone and covered in his own load, and he was still thinking about you.

Once he had composed himself (and his legs were stable enough for him to walk, he went to the bathroom and cleaned himself, donning a new pair of boxers to actually sleep in. Once he returned to his bed, he saw his phone light up.

[Doctora]: I just got home. Have a good night Pablo

His chest got tight again as he laid in bed, staring at your words to him. You hadn't forgotten. He set his alarm and laid down, the exhaustion from his orgasm settling in now and making his eyelids heavy. When he closed his eyes, he saw you again. This time you were fully clothes - in one of his hoodies and a pair of his sweats. You were in bed next to him, arm stretched out, beckoning him to come closer to you. Gavi hugged one of his pillows close to his chest, imagining it was you sleeping in his arms, and drifted off.

[Gavi]: Have a good night, doctora. Dream of me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: not proofread because I don't feel like it. I hope you al enjoy this part! I think this is the last part of 'exposition'/ setting up their dynamic, so relationship building will start in the next chapter, so I hope you all stick with me for the rest of the story! I love hearing all your reactions in the comments, so please don't be shy to comment! Or if you're a little shy, feel free to send me an anon ask!

Also please comment if you want to be added to the taglist ok bye

*~*Taglist*~*

@l0verl4ne @vibinwkay @anastasia-nova @mxgvmiii @mads-grace4 @bubblebeep69 @katluckybear @scuderiabarca @alwaysclassyeagle @simpingmyassoff @grlwithprblms @lqvesoph @pink-manz @graziemille @xxenia14 @nngkay @icedlattewithextracaramel @gyusrose @vip-access @julianalvarez9

[lazerv4]

Thoughts on Game Changer (Seasons 1 to 5)

Just my raw thoughts not a review or anything

A.K.A. a small love letter to dropout.

One day you are a simple person scrolling through shorts/reels/tiktoks, just mindlessly looking for something entertaining to watch for like a minute at a time, suddenly you stumble upon a weird game show with ridiculous stipulations and incredibly funny rants in the middle of it, you think to yourself wow I really wanna watch the full show but then you find out it’s exclusive to a streaming network called Dropout and you don’t really want to spend money on it, but you keep stumbling upon the shorts and suddenly you start getting other shows like Um, Actually, Dirty Laundry and Dimension20, your curiosity gets the better of you and you subscribe on either the main page or become a member on their youtube channel and boom, your world has been turned completely upside down by a new hyperfixation that might be some of the best and highest quality streaming every made, a community of people that truly care for each other and feel like they are creating things they really love, this is about one of those, the darling of CEO and host Sam Reich, the always entertaining Game Changer the only game show where the game changes every show, my favorite show on Dropout and just one of my favorite shows of all time. But as we know the only way to learn is by playing, the only way to win is by learning and the only way to begin is by beginning.

Season 1 is short but a swat and beautiful little beginning, it starts with the iconic Lie Detector episode where a lot of the popular clips come from, a brilliant idea by Sam to bamboozle his players with the twist that the robot indicating if they are lying is really their partners in the next room just pressing a button, a very ingenious and funny concept that would be fully perfected in season 6 but for now it starts the show with the right leg with both concept and contestants as this is also the debut of all time favorite Brenan Lee Mulligan, one of the most fun to watch comedians in general be it improv or not. The episode is followed by a 3 time game samer that would eventually turn into its own show making some noise which I will probably explain further if I cover the full show. Being two for two is fantastic but the show still hit us with some other great episodes such as a Game of Prizes which sees the contestants guessing what prizes are real and which are just made up words put together to sound appealing, Whodunnit which is a who would have thought a whodunnit and finally Nom Nom Nom a flavor guessing game with a big disembodied mouth approving or disapproving their choices. The selection of Season 1 was small but a strong start for the show and setting what we would come to know as the game changer formula plus it gave us a lot of the shorts that we still see promoting it to this day even 4 years and 6 seasons later.

Season 2 begins with a game samer that being the previously mentioned second part of the segment that would turn into Make Some Noise which is a little strange of a start but the waters where still being tested and Dropout was still CollegeHumor which was owned and operated by IAC, a company that expected ridiculous profits from the young streamer that even with its high quality programming was nearly impossible. Episode 2 in a way is revenge against IAC as Sam very clearly is just giving away money for making the contestants do ridiculous challenges testing the good old phrase, how much money would you do that for to it’s full extend, this is follow by Sleeper Agents, one of my favorite underrated episodes where the contestants must go outside and talk to random people trying to trigger a response from a set of questions to see if they are hired actors playing the titular sleeper agents or just normal people walking down the street. Another banger and progenitor of some of the other popular clips is A Sponsored Episode were in a fun twist the contestants must become infomercial hosts and sell Sam on some ridiculous and stupid products like the iconic only p keyboard or flavored toilet paper for eating ass it’s just hit after hit and even with all that it’s not the best episode this season. Next we get another underrated episode with The Everything Factory where contestant most essentially become workers with an assembly line and construct different contraptions all to the glee of Sam and his wicked imagination but as fun as it is being sandwiched between the sponsor and the finale is a tough spot as the grand ending to season 2 brings us possibly the most iconic Brendan moment and by extension the greatest rant in the history of game changer with the episode Yes or No which I implore you to watch before I spoil the twist. The episode is simple, Sam will keep asking continuously yes or no and awarding points with seemingly no rhyme or reason with the objective of figuring out the rules of the game and why he awards points, at first it seems completely random until something weird starts to come to our attention, Brenan isn’t scoring points, which in game about 50/50 you would think would be impossible and you would be right as it is slowly figured out by everyone and finally by Brenan himself that the rule is simply that he cannot win anything which trigger the mother of all monologues as he compares himself to Icarus flying too close to the sun as a competitor and a statistical wonder before delivering the punchline at the end and wrapping this season with one of the greatest moments in the show’s history as the ending theme kicks in and Sam says goodbye until season 3 arrives.

Season 3 was heavily affected by the covid19 pandemic as episodes had to be filmed remotely via zoom or an equivalent, a lot of is a little forgettable as the struggle to make the show work was front and center but still a few gems came out of it like the premier Tell Us About Yourself in which they have to figure out the identity of a secret masked individual (who turns out to be Tony Hawk), the game samer Sell Outs which is a repeat of the sponsored episode, the always fun Secret Samta duology in which well they do a secret santa spin on a competitive game to a really hilarious extend, a personal favorite in Make It Fashion which is about well making outfits out of nothing, Tome of Terror follows as a horror story maker and the finale Next Slide Please which weaponizes random ted talk slides to create funny presentations in a very Jackbox way that is still very entertaining regardless. Overall Season 3 struggled but it did the best it could with the hand that it was dealt and Sam should be commended for his handling of the situation and the way he still made the show work and be fun while people needed it most, it hits a little different now that it’s all over but it is by no means a skip and has the same classic laughs even if they are from different points in the map.

Season 4, one of my favorite preview graphics of all time that I really really want as poster Sam please I need this. S4 gives us many many iconic episodes, possibly the highest number of them to date and some really special episodes so this section might be a little long as I want to talk extensively about this season. First off it starts with Sam Says that while pretty tame this time around grows into possibly the single best series of game samers in the entire show with the ways it twists such a simple game as simon says into pure chaos and fun which is then followed up by another progenitor for a game samer with Like My Coffee which birthed some incredibly iconic clips like the green virginal one from Grant and was just incredibly funny the first time around and also when it came back again, now we just need a third one to wrap up the samer. Noise Boys follows which at this point I’ve explained enough and you should know what it is and then another game samer (are you getting tired of reading game samer yet) with the last and possibly greatest Secret Samta which just ups the ante by making it happen in the actual studio this time and works wonders on giving this samer a proper closure. Filmed Before A Live Studio Audience is one of the most interesting and experimental episodes yet with essentially a clap and boo track slowly leading the contestants into a sort of sketch action by action and thrive on their bewilderment at the situation they are in. Then comes one of my favorite episodes with The Official Cast Recording and this one is special, the sheer amount of talent being shown by improvising an entire musical even with it’s wonky story is fantastical, the numbers are all so incredibly good and the ongoing jokes make me laugh every time, it is truly a wonder that it was even possible to create this entire game which also spun off into it’s own series with Play It By Ear. The episode is just a marvel to behold and while not a recommendation to introduce people to Game Changer it is an incredible showcase on what makes this show unique and interesting so enjoy your temporary stay on Mounport. We then reach one of the most beautiful displays of love you can ever see with Don’t Cry, the episode starts of as a seemingly normal challenge about not crying with some games but as it goes on it starts to get really emotional and lovely till it reveals itself to be a tribute to Jess Ross their friend who had a really rough pandemic that canceled her wedding. This episode is so special, it never fails to make me cry and just makes me feel like so incredibly happy. I won’t spoil much more because it really is an experience you should have but I do wanna say that if there is anything I can ever ask for in life it is to be loved by the people around me at least a little like how everyone at dropout loves Jessica Ross.

Resuming the normalcy in this random collection of words I’ve been rambling on for a while now we have Race to the Bottom which also turned into a game samer, can you tell this season is good? it’s basically a reverse bidding war with the twist that the contestants have to unionize to win the game, which is kind of a really cool and interesting message  that was somehow given through a game show. It’s a great episode and will hopefully turn into a great trilogy when the third one drops. Then we have the final two parter, another progenitor of game samer and of technically it’s own mini season during season 5 Survivor which puts the contestants in a game of well Survivor, a simple but really fun idea since Survivor the actual show is an incredibly entertaining reality but with the unhinged cast of dropout anything can go so further beyond, particularly because Brenan is in this episode and it turns out he really loves Survivor so he will do anything to win and the twists and turns this creates are so mesmerizing and shocking you won’t know what to expect until the season ends and you are watching the extra episode on the things this season Cut For Time which is a new addition that has Sam talking you through everything that happened during the episodes and what they couldn’t show, think of it as extra features on a DVD/Bluray. It is quite short but it wraps an incredible season just reminding you of how great of a run it was as you see small parts of all previous episodes and at this point you can just smile as Game Changer has been fully realized and shown that it is one of the greatest pieces of TV to ever exist.

Now it’s a little awkward to go into Season 5 after how I ended the last segment but rest assured the momentum didn’t stop and it will never stop as we kick off the new season with Sam Says 2 a game samer from last season that is as funny as it was previously with new running jokes and some incredibly smart and weird prompts from Sam to keep the contestants on their toes even in a game as simple as simon says. If you are watching this in a playlist you’ll immediately see this season’s new feature in the BTS videos which are short 6 to 10 minute episodes about well the making of the episode with Sam explaining the origin of the game and the why of the selected contestants which in general is just very interesting ad a cool extra feature that we got along the Cut For Time at the end so it’s a general gain plus it’s pretty good. A game samer into a game changer it’s Karaoke Night a kind of spiritual successor to my beloved The Official Cast Recording but with pop music instead of musicals and there is no structure it’s more about impersonating styles of several musician correctly and well this is another incredible display of raw talent and a very fun episode that while it starts a little slow it wraps up magnificently into a crescendo of it’s own making which drops us off into the next episode, another game samer with Like My Coffee 2 a funnier and stupider evolution to a very simple concept that somehow keeps finding ways to entertain and just bring me joy whenever I click on the video on dropout. So far we’ve had two samers and one changer which means that we need a changer and what a game changer we got with an absolute top 5 Name A Number which comes with an all time cast rivaled by few in Becca Scott, Izzy Roland and Erika Ishii bringing in pure chaos to a game that at first seemed simple with just prompts that they had to name how many times they could perform until midway through the game the prompts become unknown until the number has been named, the absolute diabolical connivingless of Sam has been fully realized and deliver some of the absolute funniest of laughs and some incredibly hard to watch cringe. I hope Becca got her money for the feet stuff. A Game Most Changed seems to be a somewhat divisive episode that people either really like or don’t seem to care for at all, it’s an improvised shakespearian play with random prompts throw in about the topic and things that need to be mentioned which just in the raw concept you should know if that appeals to you or not so moving on to the next episode which is another instantly iconic one As A Cucumber which in case you can’t tell it’s an episode about remaining calm but with Katie, Brennan and Carolyn onboard you know shit is about to go down. The way this episode works is by attaching heart rate monitors to the players and by maintaining their resting heart rate below 20 above they can score points and hence win the game. The approach taken by each one of them was varied with Katie’s not so good attempt at just remaining cheerful and normal, Brenan’s competitive enlightenment and Carolyn’s laid bad chill switch we see all kinds of reactions and ways people can be driven to madness, particularly in what might be the peak of all Game Changer clips is the name that bird segment in which Brennan completely loses his temporarily acquired enlightenment in a sort of calm rage as he gets more and more upset as the segment continues before it’s revealed to be roose to upset Brennan and break his streak. This episode is just great, I hope it become as samer with season 7 later this year and so we move to the next episode which happens to be a double parter, the first non finale one which is The Bi Bachelor a show that does well The Bachelor with Grant O’Brien being the contestant and having to choose from a pool of candidates to go on a trip to Cabo San Lucas.

The game has so many twists and turns that covering it would just be a retelling of the entire thing and you don’t need that, you need to sit down and watch this great parody of trashy tv with an ending you are just not ready for. The finale not finale is Escape The Green Room, why finale not finale well because the true end of Season 5 is an extended semi season that will get it’s own spot after this but now Escape the Green Room, Game Changer’s take on the escape room. The episode begins with the contestants on a room that is not the normal show floor awaiting the order to go proceed downstairs and begin the episode, Sam is there with them until he is called downstairs mid magic trick and then the door locks and the screen turns on, the game begins. Secretly the entire room has been customized and modified around the classic escape room concept that if you’ve ever been to one you know how the episode will go with the exception that Siobhan, Brenna and Lou just really don’t give a shit and will tear through everything to get out in another banger of an episode that had my laughing the whole way through, this one also has one of the most interesting BTS videos as it goes into the making and design of what was basically making a escape room from scratch. I would love for this to be made into an actual place I can visit but at least I got to see it happen and it was wonderful. This sort of ends the season as the next few episodes are kind of it’s own thing but the Cut For Time episode is after them in the playlist but it also has its own playlist so I’ll just handle it like a limited series sort of event that will be talked about as a single episode instead of the 5 episodes it is.

Game Changer Battle Royale a 3 hour plus spectacular semi samer to the original survivor episode that takes all that made that episode great and dials it up to 11, as the show is longer, the totems are harder to find, the challenges are harder and there is more on the line than ever before. Everything about this mini series is gold with it being incredibly funny and sometimes even impressive in what it’s capable of doing and a very funny surprise guest that showed up out of nowhere, the one and only fault I can think of that is not even a fault is that Ana Garcia who was making her debut in Game Changer got injured on episode one and we missed out on her antics since she has proven to be an incredibly funny comedian in every other show she has show up on dropout. Battle Royale was just so much fun and reached the apex of the reality idea for Game Changer which I’m not sure if it can be topped but it can for sure be iterated upon and I do hope we come back to see it again every few years.

Now to wrap up this massive massive post I just wanna say that I love dropout, they are a wonderful set of people that truly do care and deserve all the support they get, a lot of entertainers and comedians have been recently trying to leave youtube and copy the dropout system without getting what made dropout great to begin with, it is the charm, the effort and pure love they put into everything they make that makes it so great, not the production values or how much money they spend on it, it’s about the people it gives a home to and what they are able to accomplish when you give a genius free reign to make whatever they think is best, dropout is a special place and Game Changer is a great signature show to lead the brand, I will always love it and be here to support it, it is as Brennan once said to Sam “You’ve made a home where my favorite people get to show the world how brilliant and amazing they are.”

[lawlietscaramels]

okay okay okay I know you said no stories (understandable the holidays wiped me out too agshwsj) but I just got this random idea in my head and I could wait...!

So you know how voice filters are so normal now? even copying VA's to a seriously convincing level. What if people started using L's usual voice filter? Like nothing malicious, just people posting the craziest shit using THE detective L voice.

voice clips, shit posts, thirst traps, tiktok sounds of his public challenge on kira, people hating and simping on main and L can only helplessly watch. His pride won't allow him to change the filter he uses he made that himself it's his damnit! it'd be useless anyways, they'd just copy that too .

What can he do? are there legal repercussions? can he even copyright that? or is he doomed to be the biggest meme for the next 3 months like all public figures are subject to in life? Does L even notice?

So can I request an L-centric headcanon for this? You don't have to do it right away! Write whenever you feel like it! I just thought it'd be funny. Have a happy holiday!✨

–🍰 anon

That's My Voice! ╾ L

PFFTJSBAHHAHA CAN YOU IMAGINE?! this is the best way to start of 2024 pfft

also I have rested and relaxationed™ so I am doing a hc/story snippet mix!

okay okay yes. let's go.

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

It's hard to say how quickly L would notice if this happened. Perhaps on the first day; perhaps he'd remain oblivious until it all blew over. the former is more likely than the latter.

but oh gosh once he notices...

Putting the key in the lock and turning it, you expected to find L standing right in the doorframe to greet you, the affectionate weirdo that he is. But he's staring in horror at one of the monitors lighting the room, mouth wide open and a lollipop forgotten in his mouth.

"y/n, they've stolen my voice!"

he probably hasn't encountered this kind of technology outside of like, criminals faking voices to commit crime or whatever so he's completely confused as to how and why ordinary citizens are using the voice filter he spent months of his childhood tinkering with.

they should make their own! can't he use copyright or something?!

"Oh, don't worry so much, L. It's just a trend, it will blow over quickly! There is no harm in them having fun."

He throws his arms in the air and for a moment you're concerned he's going to tip his seat over again. "What do you mean there's no harm?! They are 'simping,'" with the most dramatic air quotes you have ever seenー L must have learnt the term and immediately decided it did not deserve to be a wordー "for a cartoon man named Miguel from Arachnid-Man! In my voice, y/n!"

And you burst out laughing, which doesn't seem to help at all.

L goes silent and furious for a good hour as he desperately searches for a way to stop this from happening. I don't know the copyright laws myself, but I imagine as it isn't L's real voice and he likely wouldn't have seen the need to apply for a patent (or whatever equivalent there is to protect a voice filter), he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

he would still seriously consider taking these good-for-nothings to court though...

You watch with both a- and bemusement as L taps his bottom lip over and over, fast.

"L," you say, "what are you thinking?"

It's not a good sign when that British accent begins to fall over his words. "I am weighing up how likely it is I would win a court case to sue for millions, strip these imbeciles of the right to technology, and publicly humiliate them. Do you think we could bring back tar-and-feathering...?"

DO NO T LET HIM. hahags it will take a solid hour or more of convincing but L will eventually give up, pouting and dedicatedly following the hashtag #iamLtoo

he might actually learn a lot about popular culture

he might also fall out of his chair in shock and cry

so, you win some, you lose some. maybe it's best to just take away his browsing privileges and remind him of whatever case he's working on. DISTRACT DISTRACT!

you're right, his pride would definitely stop him from trying to stop these "trollers" (he called them trolleys at least three times) via changing his voice filter. He made it himself, he won't give it up because of some teen living in their parents' garage!!! Though he might try to rig a program to detect people using it and delete their accounts or whatever

not sure how to segue into this one but here's another story bit

After finally calming L down and reminding him the tar-and-feather punishment was abolished for a reason, you manage to get into bed for some rest. To your surprise, L joins you, staring expressionlessly at the ceiling. This is what he always does when thinking, so you assume his mind is on the case and he's forgotten about the whole voice fiasco until he starts... cackling.

"L..."

Yep, there's a good chance he'll swing from "this is the most horrible thing that's ever happened to me ever!!??'!;;'!;';!!;"! :(" to quoting the memes.

he might actually really enjoy some of them.

though it's hard to tell if he genuinely thinks some of what these "trolleys" are doing is creative and amusing or if it's just a coping strategy for the next few months.

well, that is until he makes a subtle reference to the most viral of the videos in his next address to the public...

after that I'm afraid the craze sets off once again

L will sit back and watch with a smile

though if one of the uses of his voice filter insults him the whole thing is shut down faster than you can say tar-and-feathers

"You're a strange man, you know that?"

"So is this 'Miguel' character."

　★━━─・‥…━━━☆

𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖙 ˏˋ⋆˖⁺˖⁀➷ 𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖗𝖊𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 + 𝖋𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖔𝖜

©lawlietscaramels. Do not repost on other sites, claim as your own work, edit, rewrite or “fix,” feed to AI or otherwise use unethically.

[v1trum]

I dont even care anymore i have to talk about how cool i am

Like i try to not sound like im bragging about it but i am all i ever want to DO is brag about it. So let me brag. I might lose some followers for this

Ik i talk about it a lot its not a pity thing or attention seeking thing i just genuinely think it's one of the coolest things to happen to me bc i have an extremely uninteresting life so this happened and became my entire personality 🫶

Me omw to get out of the smoking car, hop onto my broken ankle while holding my shattered arm against my torso and walk a distance (idk how long the distance was but it was a distance)

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to chill in a random car for 10 minutes with all of these injuries doing absolutely nothing

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to be the only reason the old lady in the car next to us didn't die (if my side of the car hadn't been crushed by two dif cars and a pole i wouldn't have broken so many bones, but also that lady would 100% have died)

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to sit in an ambulance acting like its the most normal thing ever (im strapped to the rolling bed thingy with all these injuries, no pain meds yet, and still not crying)

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to fucking START GIGGLING in the ambulance bc the only thing i could think was "heh ... Im JUST like (the superhero character i was obsessed with at the time)" 😭 ✋

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to get my shirt that says "not today, satan" cut off of me in the ER (it was in fact that day.) (i again felt like i was in a movie bc CMONNNN THEY CUT MY CLOTHES OFFFFF)

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to try not to laugh hysterically at how being rolled into the ER i was just chilling and literally every nurse around stopped in their tracks to stare at me with the most "😨😧.." look on their faces ever but i could not have given less of a fuck 😭

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to get several painful x-rays of my shattered arm and broken ankle, the doctors say "hey we're gonna put you under emergency surgery to set your broken arm" and i was like "ok" but then i moved my arm around and set it in place in front of them and was like "that feels good" . They did another x ray and i in fact did just set my own fucking arm on no pain meds in front of them 🫶

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to ditch my crutches and big walking boot one(1) day after getting home from the hospital and walking on my broken ankle consistently bc i was tired of that shit

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to get put on literal KETAMINE so they could put a cast on my arm (bc of how shattered it was it wasn't able to be done without pain meds)

And stare at the mickey mouse painting on the wall and then go "IS THAT MY ARM??? 😨😨😨" when i saw it next to me. Like no bro its ur foot YES ITS UR ARM 😭??

Also worth noting the ketamine didn't really do anything for pain it kinda just made me unable to make a coherent thought while they shoved my freshly broken arm around inside of my flesh! That shit hurt more than the actual snap crackle pop when i broke it

But also i literally blacked all that out so ofc it hurt more than that cus I don't remember it 😭

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to awkwardly stand outside a different hospital (the one my mom was at) looking distraught bc i had just gotten out of MY hospital, was still extremely swollen, bruised, freshly in casts and struggling to use crutches while i waited for my dad to get a wheelchair for me (i kept almost falling over and ppl were a tad concerned.)

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to call my friends giggling in the hospital before i was even on pain meds like "YO GUESS WHAT" (i couldn't even see my screen bc the neck brace wouldn't let me move)

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to have raw. RAW. Infected skin under my cast (a velcro one you could briefly take off to clean but needed to stay on otherwise)! Also me omw to have scars from that velcro cast cutting extremely deep into my skin as if it wasn't enough pain already like damn 💀

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

Me omw to STILL not remember literally the entire car ride leading up to when i "woke up" in the car. Which btw i never actually passed out it was all shock. I was awake physically the whole time but i do NAWT remember that shit and ik its for the better but if i remember it maybe I'll take it seriously again and stfu abt it bc it'll be traumatizing instead of cool?? 💀

[insert the proud tiktok emoji]

I could go on and on helppp

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

How do you know from whose PR articles are coming from? Can’t it be that the publications are just writing them themselves?

Recently, there have been articles about how Kate feels lonely without Meghan. It’s clickbait obviously. The article just talks about how they could’ve been like Diana and Sarah, but then continues to says that Kate has been successful in the rf because of her inner circle. Where do you think this is from?

Also, during the BAFTAs, William asked one of the nominees about her experience filming, saying they must have had fun. It was completely innocent and was said in a politely engaging in a casual conversation kind of way, but the Daily Mail spun it to look like a “gaffe” because the film was about a girl who was raped. I stumbled upon a sussex squaddie’s tiktok talking about it and although the account acknowledges it was a spin, he also says “William must have made some enemies” meaning there must be someone trying to make him look bad. Do you think that’s true? I thought maybe it’s just the dailymail stirring stuff to punish William for keeping himself and Kate away from public eye these days.

Honestly, this is the thing that drives me insane with royal watching. It causes paranoia. And most royal watchers begin to hate on certain royals just because they assume certain narratives are coming from that royal’s pr even though we have no proof.

You sound like you might be new to the analytical side of royal watching. That's okay!

The only reason I mention that is because if you've been a royal-watcher since before Meghan, you would have noticed a very distinct, very obvious shift in how the royals are covered and discussed in the media after Meghan came in (2016/2017). This happened because Meghan had her own PR, strategy, and comms people, Sunshine Sachs and Gina Nelthorpe-Crowne among them, promoting and marketing instead of relying on the BRF or just doing it herself personally as all the other royal girlfriends/married-ins did. And we know Meghan kept her LA team even after moving to London and getting married; it was confirmed in one of the royal books. I think it was Bower's Revenge.

How do you know from whose PR articles are coming from? Can’t it be that the publications are just writing them themselves?

It's in the details. Here are a few.

If the article is talking about apologies or olive branches, it's from the Sussexes. They're the only ones who've demanded apologies and olive branches, ever since the Oprah interview and including in Harry's Spare interviews.

If the article is discussing several members of the royal family but Meghan is listed first, it's her PR. If the article uses titles, it's from the BRF. If the article uses their first names but William and Kate are first, it's just the publication writing.

If the article is about Meghan and it's on a random topic (like that beauty article the other day about her magical hair) or it appears randomly (like when she otherwise hasn't been in the news), it's her PR. Publications aren't going to randomly write about someone unless there's cause, and cause is usually a pay incentive.

Now, People will also take stories from the BRF too, especially and mostly about Kate. Usually any long-form article about Kate that includes "close sources" or "palace insiders" quotes, it's from Kensington Palace/William's PR.

People and US tabloids also regurgitate stories from other media. If you see similar articles with near-identical quotes, that's their own writers, not usually sourced from someone's office.

Everyone also has preferred journalists that they give info to and will seek out for stories. For Meghan, it's Scobie (though she doesn't seem to be talking to her anymore, probably because she's pissed about the Dutch Endgame leaking the names) and Gayle King. For Harry, it's Bryony Gordon. For the BRF, it's usually one of the Richards, sometimes Rebecca English. For Camilla, it's Piers Morgan. (I track some of this in my Timeline series.)

If an article is about Charles and talks about a new idea or a new initiative, it's from his PR. We call them trial balloons - Charles is notorious for using the public reaction to these ideas to decide what to do.

If the piece is overly critical of Kate in comparison to Meghan, it's usually from Meghan's PR. If Meghan's name is listed first, then it's definitely from her PR. If it's bashing the Waleses children or criticizing Kate's parenting, it's from Meghan's side (though she's been very careful lately not to have her name directly connected to those stories).

If the piece is overly critical of the Waleses/Cambridges while simultaneously full of gushing praise for the Sussexes, it's usually Sussex PR.

I don't believe that William/KP briefs against the Sussexes anymore but back when they used to in late 2018/early 2019, you could tell when it was KP speaking versus the publications reporting - e.g., stories about concern for Harry's mental health were William and KP.

There are also key phrases that each principal royal like to use. Like you'll hear "keen" a lot with Kate - that's Kensington Palace speaking. "Olive branch" is Meghan.

There's also a very specific way that the writers refer to insiders/close sources, especially for William/Kensington Palace, but I'm totally blanking on that right now.

There are other ways to tell whose PR has sourced a story. These are just the ones off the top of my head. If anyone else can think of others, please share them!

Recently, there have been articles about how Kate feels lonely without Meghan. It’s clickbait obviously. The article just talks about how they could’ve been like Diana and Sarah, but then continues to says that Kate has been successful in the rf because of her inner circle. Where do you think this is from?

Kate feeling lonely without Meghan is from Meghan-friendly associates. Meghan might be shit when it comes to public service, but she really knows her shit when it comes to PR and media. She knows that for maximum effect, she needs an affiliation to Kate. That's why she wears outfits similar to Kate's. That's why she styles her hair in big bouncy Chelsea blowouts. That's why she tries to be kid-friendly like Kate. She needs Kate for the attention she can't get on her own. Meghan needs Kate. Kate doesn't need Meghan - she's shown us that over and over again.

Anything that connects Meghan to Diana is also from Meghan. There was a whole PR campaign back in 2017/2018 when she was trying to convince Harry's world that she was royal material about how she was just like Diana. So Meghan (and Harry) also uses Diana for the attention boost.

However, anything that mentions Diana and Sarah together, that's not Meghan. Those are from the reporters themselves. Meghan so obsessively wants to be Diana that Sarah is the last person she wants to be associated with or compared to. Meghan thinks she's better than Sarah.

Kate being successful because of her inner circle is KP. Kate herself rarely speaks through PR - she's content to let William and their comms team speak for her. (Which I suspect is one of the reasons why Meghan immediately disliked her; Kate has no interest in using all this fame she has for her personal benefit where you know it's Meghan's dream to be that famous.)

Also, during the BAFTAs, William asked one of the nominees about her experience filming, saying they must have had fun. It was completely innocent and was said in a politely engaging in a casual conversation kind of way, but the Daily Mail spun it to look like a “gaffe” because the film was about a girl who was raped. I stumbled upon a sussex squaddie’s tiktok talking about it and although the account acknowledges it was a spin, he also says “William must have made some enemies” meaning there must be someone trying to make him look bad. Do you think that’s true? I thought maybe it’s just the dailymail stirring stuff to punish William for keeping himself and Kate away from public eye these days.

Nah, it's just the Daily Mail stirring shit up. It goes back to the old adage "if you won't give me the news, you'll be the news." It's not really punishing William so much as using William for clicks, attention, and traffic, which is how digital media makes their money. Everyone does it and everyone understands that to keep their media coverage positive, they need to give the reporters something to write about. It's an unofficial pact that the palace has with the media.

William and Kate do understand this but it's not their priority to do something just for the optics and media coverage. I suspect this approach largely comes from how they were both treated by the media and paparazzi - they both understand that the interest in them is organic due to their positions. It's very 'if you build it they will come' so they don't necessarily worry about media and press coverage the way others in the BRF might.

(I do think they're a little too extreme with how media-averse they are. On the one hand I understand it because maybe they do have legitimate PTSD from how they were treated by the media and they seem to be closer to the Elizabeth/Philip style of monarchy with royal mystique and palace intrigue than the Charles/Diana/Camilla style of royalty and monarchy with transparency and open coverage. But on the other hand, they're public servants living in publicly-funded and publicly-subsidized estates; they need to be pulling their share of the weight and that means needing to be seen by the public on a regular consistent basis doing regular, consistent service. This is a lifetime commitment, not a "in 20 years when I'm King" commitment. Obviously exceptions apply when there are health concerns at hand, like there are now, but they can't alawys lean back on health concerns - not when Charles has cancer and is still seen regularly by the public.)

Honestly, this is the thing that drives me insane with royal watching. It causes paranoia. And most royal watchers begin to hate on certain royals just because they assume certain narratives are coming from that royal’s pr even though we have no proof.

And that's fine! I don't think it's paranoia though - it's more stan culture to me, where the more consumed you are by your favorites, the more obsessive you become about how they're treated by others and covered in the media. At the end of the day, it's all parasocial relationships. The celebrities we favor, pay attention to, follow - they have no idea we exist and they have no idea how consumed by their life we are. Collectively, sure, they get it but individually? No. They have better things to do and they think we have better things to do.

That's why I think it's healthy to take a few steps back, look at everything more objectively, and ask exactly the kind of questions that you're asking.

As for not having proof about certain narratives, to an extent you're correct - no one is going to explicitly come out and take responsibility for saying certain things or causing certain drama. But they have subtle ways of showing their hand and giving us the proof. You just have to know what to look for and, barring that, just wait for the royal books. The books fall on a spectrum with deeply researched and investigated (like Tom Bower) on one side and biased reporting (like Scobie) on the other. If you read more of the 'biased reporter' books, those authors are falling over themselves to defend their sources and when they do that, they throw everyone else under the bus and end up confirming rumors or spoiling someone's PR game.

[evangelineshifts]

Kinda Serious.

I’ve decided to take back my shifting journey cause you know what? why not? like at this point I’ve realized it’s my journey, like no I’m not gonna listen to some random shifttalker telling me to try a method they just came up with or smth. Like when people say ‘oh you should tried this method’ or ‘you should try that subliminal’ I’m simply not going to. like no if I don’t wanna do it I’m not gonna do it. I can just not do it and I’m not going to.

so what I’m gonna do is just start trusting myself more. like I’ve already been doing my stuff from before this and it’s been working well enough. Why do I keep changing? Why am I letting people get in my head? Like I understand when people tell me ‘oh well you should still try things out they don’t work out at least you know’ and I can see the logic but no, like know it’s not gonna work so why would I try? I’m not gonna set myself up for failure anymore.

They’re not gonna take this from me. This is my shifting journey. It’s my journey and I’ve let the people on TikTok and Tumblr tell me ‘you need put all your effort into each shift, you need to use subliminal, you need to use LOA, you still need to try it out.’ but I won’t because I don’t need to. This is my journey. so you know what? They can say ‘oh you should try this method’ ‘You should try that subliminal’ and I still not gonna do it because it’s my journey why would I ever change to do something that you want me to do.

like I’m doing it myself now I’m gonna be what I wanna be and do what I wanna do and what I wanna do is just let myself go with the flow again. I just wanna go with the flow like if I shift i shift and if I don’t I don’t but I had a good time and I’m feeling OK even after this practice attempt so all is well, all is good. That’s all that I care about. I just want this is about me not anyone else so this isn’t gonna turn out to be some 5 years of shifting attempts type shit, god knows I’m not patient enough for that shit. I can’t take that kind of pressure, I feel nothing but respect for those who can but I can’t and I won’t.

I won’t be sending asks or little scenarios for my drs or whatever at the moment, I might but I feel like I’m just gonna let it go. I’m gonna just take the time and be myself. And it’s not like I’ll still be around cause I will be but I’m not gonna worry about this anymore. There’s no point worrying about my shifting journey. It is what it is at this point, I’m making my choice and I’m choosing shifting-🦭

SO PROUD OF YOU MIMI!!! honestly the most progress is always made when you don't give a shit so i think you're on the right track. it's way more draining worrying about subliminals and methods and shit. i mean the first time i shifted i wasn't really doing a method and i had brown noise on and the second time i literally just had on rain sounds and was half asleep like promise it was NEVAAA that serious trust! hope everything has been going well!

[messrsrarchives]

hi robyn! did you ever apply to oxbridge for uni and did you get an interview? any advice on that as it’s application season and i’m terrified x

HELLO oh god rough time of year init this brought back memories. giggling over the fact your first thought was a marauders tiktoker 😭 putting this under the cut because it's long but hi yes, cambridge offer holder here

i think my firsttt piece of advice is knowing whether it's truly for you or not! i spent my entire academic career doing courses for them and getting my name known there only to get in and go :/ i don't think this is for me actually. it was more just the expectation, yk? so literally a weekkkk before move in i asked my current uni if they'd still take me and just kept cambridge open as a phd option

that's my first bit of advice! oxbridge isn't the be all and end all <3

the actual application? unique. i know personal statements are different now but i used a different version for cambridge than i did elsewhere that was more,,, academic? more focused on what areas of my subject i enjoy and everything that i'd done with cambridge previously -> the more unique the better tbh, i waffled about the introduction of the printing press (literature degree)

you're also gonna want to put things in that, if you do get to the interview, you can expand upon a lot. AND subject ties! i applied for literature and included other subjects in tandem which they really like

interviews ! they're really not as scary as people suggested actually! i did an entry exam and three interviews, all of them were fine but they do ask the famous questions 😭 i got asked what kitchen utensil i'm most like so yk,,, that's not a myth at all LMAO. they mostly just ask about your personal statement BUT then move onto like "what do you think about this other random book/what about this other topic?"

OH ALSO !! idk if this is degree based or a universal thing but my first interview had a mini test where they gave me an extract of old english and i had ten minutes to translate it.

really unlike other unis your academics are the forefront obviously: they want proof that you care about this subject, proof of what about it you like, and examples of things you've done outside of your classes to facilitate your learning (i.e i did summer schools, dissertation courses, young magistrates, competitions etc etc blah blah blah they love that stuff)

also !! colleges !! there's not too much pressure on what college you choose because if that one doesn't take you but they see potential in you, they'll chuck you into the pool for others to take. i initially didn't get in because the college i chose had a lower deprived quota :/ so they didnt need another poor kid lols but i got into the pool and got KINGS?! which is like,,, i didn't apply there because of how elite it is

so colleges aren't the be all and end all either !! choose what one feels right for you, but don't lose hope if that one rejects you.

idk if any of this was helpful actually it's just the three big things you're told when you apply anyway oopsie but,, that's it really. they really are just like other unis but with a pretty label and prestige.

so my main advice is that,,, (1) it's meant to be difficult ! and if you get further in your application, don't worry if you don't know things. in the interviews they ask you obscure and random questions not because they want to catch you out, but they want to see your thought process !

and (2) it's difficult. it's elite and they get so many applicants, a rejection doesn't define you. which sounds like i dont believe in you LOL but i do !! even getting to this point is so so so impressive and i hope it all goes well !! but if it doesn't? the world keeps spinning and you're no less brilliant without oxbridge

anywayz ! dms are open if you want to yap or need help with anything !! i'm no expert but i've had the post-application sobs and the general AHHHHHH i suck moments and still somehow managed to pull it off