#i think maybe this is obvious and im making a big deal but i need to formulate the thought somehow

[thepromisedbride]

ok hear me out: i don’t think mrs flood is necessarily evil or scheming. she’s tied to the pantheon in some way, but her name isn’t harbinger. and whoever ruby’s parent is, they’re almost definitely also tied to the pantheon too. it seems more than possible that mrs flood was placed there to keep an eye on ruby until the time was right, not to cause trouble or a disaster of some kind, but just as an observer

[jentlemahae]

-

[acid-ixx]

I’m new, I just read your fic about neglect reader. I haven’t read through your blog yet but I am so excited after reading this fic. I am an emotional wreck right now and my curiosity is eating me alive with this question “Does reader know about Jason? Will they ever met? Ever have a platonic relationship together? Will Jason be more of a brother to reader?”

I’m sorry I speed through the fic and tears are in my eyes I couldn’t think straight BUT I notice that Jason is hardly there so I’m curious. Please this is such a brain rot, it’s way past midnight after I read this cause I keep stopping to cry.

major (?) spoilers below.

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

hello anon !! im so happy ppl are getting more exposed to the content i have written so far. anyways, i can't believe i also got others to cry bec i did too when i was writing 😭

anyways, to answer ur question: yes! the reader will meet jason and he would actually be the first sibling you would meet after you have left the manor. the way he would turn yandere for you is a different approach to how the others would be because in the prequel, it has been stated that you had your fair share of encounters with him.

"will they ever have a platonic relationship with him/see him as a brother?" maybe, maybe not. because your meeting with him would all be a blur to you, and jason's obsession would stem from the trauma he had experienced, causing him to be more protective of you.

you're not in your best mindset and you're vulnerable walking through the streets of gotham and all alone? oh god, only a dumbass would do that— but once the red hood recognizes your face and the way you carry yourself so pitiably, he immediately tries to take you in his arms just as he should.

but the moment you push him away? tell him to fuck off despite your drunken state? the moment you cry and tell him you could deal with everything yourself without his help or anybody else's? you just remind him of himself and that triggers his first spiral into yandere-ism.

it's the way you share trauma, the way you both feel immense anger. he should've noticed sooner because you two would've been as close as peas in a pod. and yet he failed you by being a hypocrite. you were literally taken into the manor right after his death and discarded like you were mere trash. he should've taken you away when he had the opportunity to but he was too caught up in his feat of revenge.

yet the worst part was that he had taken notice of tim before he did you, and jason had momentarily hated you too because he thought bruce had replaced him. if he had looked through that veil of contempt that he had for you, and saw just how neglected and in need of attention you are, then he would've taken you under his wing.

but he didn't, and he had done the same thing to you as most did.

so take it as you will when i say you're more or less going to be closer (albeit unwillingly) to jason than anybody else because unlike his other siblings who are bound by their vigilante duties, your big brother jason wouldn't mind shooting any creeps who think they could touch his precious angel.

and he gets it, too, angel— you hate him, you hate them all and that's valid. but you can't just walk out in the streets alone and expect to be home in one piece; so leave it to him to scout your apartment alright? leave it to your big brother jason to intimidate the goons who try to stalk you when you're not looking. even if you don't want him near you, you'll always find warm food by your table and a note reminding you to take care of yourself more often.

it hurts when you rip the paper to shreds but it breaks his heart even more if you refuse to touch the meal he would leave for you, because that probably means you saw him as danger more than anything else. and he doesn't know it, but you're already planning to make a run for it now that you're under red hood's radar.

it's obvious that you have no experience when it comes to living by yourself, so please don't fucking push him away and let him protect you from any harm. your self destructive habits only causes him to become more protective of you and it only lets him stalk you more often to ensure nobody would touch his precious angel.

just like dick, you'll be treated more like a child than that of a young adult, but at least jason has the concept of personal space compared to your eldest brother. but still, jason wishes to hold you in his arms.

heaven forbid if the joker ever got his crummy fingers on you. jason would go berserk.

little does he know, little does your family know just how much they had lost the opportunity to keep you in wraps inside the manor.

they should've never let you out in the first place.

[aluciahaz]

Omfggg ur writing is SO unbelievably good i love it sm 😭🙏🙏

I got kind of a prompt for a sub!vox x gn (maybe afab) reader ✨ Okay so what if, since we all know vox is OBVIOUSLY a bratty bottom, the reader fucks the brattiness out of him? And he goes from trying to be a dom, to resistant bottom, to bratty bottom, to just begging to come with all his life, maybe even crying cuz the reader won’t let him

TYSM!!!! im glad you think my writing’s good ❤️ALSO FINALLY A VOX REQ AGHH

i have like 50094949 drafts for like all of the other stuff in my inbox but i just have to write this vox fic first ok im self indulgent i apologize 😭

—vox x gn!reader

—includes : sub!vox, dom!reader, light bondage, edging

vox is so obvious.

he clearly has a thing for control. a need, a desire. it was practically his core personality trait. yet, he’s most certainly not made to wield it.

sure, he can try and sweet talk you, saying sultry things and bragging about his power in order to get you to feel below his level. but you know how frail that persona is. a single slip up, and it would all come crashing down into deafening static.

which, was almost impressively easy to do.

his claw-like fingers runs up your neck, one of them stopping at your cheek as he smirked. if he wasn’t careful, he could fuck up and draw blood. he was tip-toeing the small line here.

a small line that if he crossed, you’d switch up this silly little game immediately, taking the control of the show and making him the contestant.

live only for you.

but, you entertain his farce of dominance, a smile playing on your lips as you see what he has in store…if he had anything, that is.

“you’ve been waiting for me all day, haven’t you?” he asks, clearly rhetorical as he caresses your cheek gently, his voice steady as he speaks. he leads you down to the bed with teeth raking your neck as he crawls over you. there’s something fun about watching him try and fluster you, to get you to say the things he wants. but you were no people pleaser.

“perhaps. unfortunately i can’t say the same for you,” you respond, your smile forming into more of a smirk at the ends of your lips as your hands snake around his delicate waist, tightening around it like a corset.

you can already see the hesitation in his eyes, the brief moment of surprise at your sudden grasp. it was too easy to surprise this man. it’s a wonder he hasn’t exploded yet.

“what do you mean by that?” he asks, his eyebrows furrowing in both nervousness and curiosity, almost like he didn’t want to know. the fingers on your cheek seem to barely just get too rough as he looked at you.

“don’t act like i didn’t hear you in the office this morning, moaning my name like some prayer,” you mock, your knee slotting between his legs with ease. vox keels over at the sudden feeling, a sharp gasp getting punched out of his system with little effort.

“impatient.”

“what’s the big deal? am i not allowed to jerk off anymore?” he complains, bringing himself back up to his hand and knees over you as he glares with indignation.

“i told you to wait.”

“and i don’t remember needing to!” vox snarled, the grasp on your face tightening until you saw him pull it away, a droplet of blood adorning his finger.

simply unacceptable.

instantly, with a loud yelp of complaint and confusion, he hits the mattress with a thud, cursing in annoyance as he looks up at you. his face, once filled with irritation, shifted into one of almost astonished fear as he gazed upon your expression, cold and unforgiving.

“i’ll make you remember.”

his screen flickers before going back to normal, his face scrunched up in anger as he spat out his unwise words.

“i’d like to see you try.”

so, try you did.

his hands were cuffed with plush handcuffs to the bed-frame—you know he wouldn’t be able to handle real ones—and of course since he was never good with self-control, he had a cock ring on as a ‘treat’.

you’re delighted by how much of a fight he puts up though. considering how fragile his ego is, you were sure that he’d melt into your hands the moment you bound him to the bed.

“this is your plan?” vox rolled his eyes, watching you pour lubricant on your fingers with an unimpressed look. “not very impressive. you’ll need more—ngh! shit! give a guy some warning—!”

“beggars can’t be choosers.”

“i don’t fucking beg—!”

“you will.”

there was no mercy from that point forth. one finger after the other, shocks of electricity would course through his veins, mouth agape as your quick hand inside kept making him feel sparks of pleasure through his entire body.

“let me—cum! ass—zz—hole!” he shouted, tugging at the handcuffs to no avail. he wanted to touch himself so bad, yet you were adamant.

“if you ask nicely, maybe,” you tell him, circling your fingers before pressing deep onto that electric spot again, making him cry out in frustration and enjoyment.

all he could do was shoot you a disgusted look before yelling once more, kicking the blanket underneath him in exasperation. his anguish crackled through his veins like a current, trying to fight the urge to just submit.

but it was all too much. he was weak, even if he convinces all of hell that he’s not, he wouldn’t be able to fool you. the bucks of your fingers were replaced with the movement of your hips, making him wail for more.

an hour had passed, and his indignant claims of “i don’t feel anything!” or “you’ll never get me to beg!” shifted into more pleasant glitching screams of “don’t stop!” and “please, more!”

finally, he was using his manners.

“let me cum—ple—zz—se! i c-can’t—!” vox cried out as you quicken the pace, thrashing underneath you with his legs now wrapped around your waist, holding for dear life as you drive into him.

“i—hic—mm! ‘m s—zz—sorry! ‘msorry-AH! sorry!” his back curves off the bed as he squirms, crying in earnest now. tears fell his face with broken pixels blinking in and out underneath, his screen cutting at random points to an error warning from the overstimulation.

“pathetic,” you spit out, your hands digging into his hips as you practically manhandled the man, making him move once he lost all the energy to match your movements. “you listen to me. you do what i say, and you don’t talk back.”

you hear him shriek desperately as you grab his cock, red and weeping as you overwhelm him with pleasure, but never letting him over the edge.

“do you understand? you’re mine.”

you run your finger underneath his tip, and you see him glitch out into an expression you truly loved.

his screen was tear stained and his were graphics broken, yet it was clear enough to see the hypnotizing hearts that pulsated in his eyes as he yelled in defeat, small whimpers leaving his ruined throat as he babbled on and on.

“yours! your—yours! ngh—! please! pl—let me cum! plea—zz—oh, FUCK!”

his whole body trembles from need like electricity burned his skin. his legs fall from your waist, too weak to hold them around you anymore, yet you catch them, pushing the underside of his thighs until he was folded in half.

“cum for me then.”

instantly, vox does as you say as you slip the cock ring off of him, his wails loud enough to shake the room as he finds his release. his screen completely blanks out for a second as a shock flitters around his wrists, frying the cuffs and making them break into two before slumping back down to the bed.

you can’t even scold him for letting his powers go rampant before he pulls you over him, wrapping his arms around you as he sniffles into your ear.

“thank you—hic—thank…thank…”

this big baby. you sigh, rubbing your hands on his sides gently as you kiss his cheek. “yeah, yeah. just remember this the next time you think about acting out, okay?” you said quietly, feeling him nod into your shoulder as he starts to slowly relax.

but as per usual, he apparently forgets what you taught him in the next week.

fortunately, you’re a patient teacher. and you’ll remind him again and again about the lessons he foolishly dismisses.

sorry that this is shit 💀 i tried my best but the writing juices arent flowing this week😭 hopefully this weekend i wont have writer’s block and will blast through all yall’s reqs!! trust me, im working on them <3

tags: @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @drlucichen @mvskedxrtist

[a-boca-do-inferno]

NSFW ALPHABET (caesar x human!reader) [request]

warnings: swearing, interspecies smut mention(duh)

words: 2.4k

notes: howdy caesar girlies! this was so much fun. im so excited bc ive never done a nsfw alphabet before, i hope i did well lol enjoy xx.

Aftercare; what he’s like after sex.

Affectionate to a fault. It would come to no surprise that Caesar is very protective of you—always careful not to hurt you given your difference in size and strength. He’ll constantly rub you arms up and down soothingly in silence, scanning you with his green eyes to look for any unintended marks he might have left on your hairless skin. The king restrains from being too rough a lot, but sometimes he can’t control himself and he knows it, even if you actually like it when he does that. And he’s not as stealthy as he thinks himself to be while checking on you, however you allow him to do it without any teasing comments, for his own self-reassurance. It’s adorable.

Body part; his favourite body parts of you.

Caesar has a thing for your chest. Regardless of size or shape, just the softness of it... How it fits into his big hand, how wrinkled your nipples get under his touch. Loves tasting your breasts with his tongue, cupping them, kissing them, the whole deal. And your belly, too; maybe it has to do with the fact that it’d be impossible for you to bear his child, yet he just cannot help himself from imagining how your womb would look like with a baby bump. 

Cum; anything to do with cum, basically.

This ties into his love for your belly and the kink part later on, but obviously Caesar has a breeding kink deep down, even if he doesn’t think about it too much. In his more, shall I say, animalistic moments, his aching need to fill you up with his seed is almost unbearable. He becomes another person—another creature, even—whenever his eyes watch your entrance dripping with his semen, hot, pale, thick, trickling your thighs gloriously. The sight is enough for him to get instantly hard again.

Dirty secret; a dirty secret of his.

Caesar is just a sucker for the sounds you make, although he shall never tell you this; mainly because you two have to keep it low profile, otherwise it would be embarrassing—at best—for him to face the council the next day after the whole colony heard your passionate… love-making. He can get aroused by the tone of your voice only, when you speak a softer word or produce a deeper murmur. Especially if you talk into his ear. And even though he never actively makes you aware of it, you can tell whenever his fur stands on end after you whisper something to him, no matter how trivial the subject is. With one look, you know it’s on.

Experience; does he know what he’s doing?

Mostly. Caesar is undoubtedly well versed in the art of sex with a female ape, but with you—for obvious reasons—he will often ask what makes you feel good, genuinely curious and eager to learn so he can please you. It doesn’t take much for you to get him going, yet he knows human females have a different pace for things, as you’ve mentioned a few times in casual conversation. He’s thankfully not shy when it comes to learning new things, be them about sex or not, and that makes for a considerable improvement every time you two fuck.

Favourite position; this goes without saying.

Doggy. Albeit Caesar can’t help but find the term ridiculous, occasionally making a joke about it and calling it apey style—to which you only snort softly and roll your eyes. He loves seeing your shapely figure all bent for him, completely under his mercy while you take his cock with your face muffled against the nest, moaning repeatedly. His palm tightens around your hair, guiding the rhythm of his thrusts as he goes faster and faster, pounding into your very core. The king enjoys every second of it, coming inside you with warm spurts all over your butt. It’s really a sight to behold.

Goofy; is he more serious in the moment? is he humorous?

Caesar has a sense of humour, sure, but he takes your intimate moments very seriously. He’s a natural leader, after all; and with authority comes an almost unshakeable sterner and more focused way to behave. Fortunately, he knows when to loosen up in bed, and it’s usually at times where he can sense you’re a little nervous or insecure.

Hair; how well groomed is he? does the carpet match the drapes?

lol All natural here, baby. Rightfully so, and Caesar knows for a fact that you absolutely love his fur in all the imaginable places. His natural musk turns you on to no end and the king is very aware of that, frequently using it in his favour. It’s annoying sometimes, how he’ll rub himself on your side when you’re mad at him for some random thing, and you just melt instantly as his furry skin tickles you. Interspecies advantage that the king just loves.

Intimacy; how is he during the moment? the romantic aspect.

Tender and loving all the way, except when Caesar’s really feeling it, which usually occurs whenever he’s had a bad day and you happened to be spending a little too much time with other males. Not that he’s the jealous type—he’ll never admit it, but it adds more fuel to the fire when he can smell the scent of other apes on you. He’s determined to erase it and replace it with his.

Jack off; masturbation headcanon.

Wouldn’t go as far as to say Caesar is a big fan of it, since he’d simply rather have your inner walls around him as opposed to your hands, but he will occasionally indulge in it. It mainly goes down to how much time you two have at your disposal, and how much stamina. Caesar’s an old man, let’s face it; sometimes he just wants to nut with your presence around and it will be enough for him. His only concern is your pleasure, anyway, but we’ll get to that...

Kink; one or more of his kinks.

Breeding is just a dead giveaway at this point. The fact Caesar can’t ever impregnate you is both a lingering frustration deep within him and somewhat a relief when it comes to coming (hehe) inside you, seeing as he can do so as many times as he wants, free of charge. And believe me, he does it a lot. The best part of sex with you is when his nostrils flare and his cock pulses desperately, releasing his seed and marking you as his, just how nature intended—in his mind, anyway. 

Location; favourite places to do the do.

Caesar’s got a thing for rivers, waterfalls, bodies of water in general. His favourite place to fuck you is underwater, preferably when you two go hunting and it takes longer than expected—something he often makes sure to happen, pretending to lose sight of a deer or two just so the sun goes down and he can use his favourite excuse that you should stay the night. He lives for the way you look all wet (hehe) whilst bathing in the river, so vulnerable and naturally beautiful, how the droplets contour your naked curves… The sound of water is a turn on for him too, yet you’re the one in the centre of his thoughts. There’s also a certain thrill of being in “public”, arguably, but he’s much too careful for it to actually be a risk. 

Motivation; what turns him on, gets him going.

Caesar loves your curves because they come with a plus of smoothness that only human females have; the way they shift as you move, making your body a feast for his eyes. You were forced to sew your own clothing as time went by with you living in the colony, and the scarcity of animal fur makes for quite the flashy outfits that show a lot of skin—which he isn’t mad at, at all. This softness of your body shape, paired with your strength, makes you irresistible to him, embodying the perfect balance of sensuality and resilience. You are, to the king, the epitome of femininity in your own way, and he can't help but be drawn to it.

No; something he wouldn’t do, turn offs.

Caesar’s pretty open minded and easy-going sexually, but something he would never do is definitely share. No getting freaky with other males, even females, if he can help it, nope! He’s not jealous per se—or so he keeps telling himself, it’s just the mere thought of having your attention split between him and others, in your intimate moments, no less… It makes him mad, not just turned off. Besides that, anything goes, as long as you’re both safe; especially you. In bed, you’re the boss.

Oral; preference in giving or receiving, skill.

Oh, my, does Caesar love eating you out. There’s just something about the human anatomy of your pussy that he can’t get enough of; your scent, your taste, how much you squirm and suffocate him with your tender thighs. He loves to tease you with his fangs, grazing his teeth over your pelvis before going all in with his skilful tongue. He laps your folds as if he’d been in the desert, without water—or food, in this case—for far too long, just deeply savouring you. Again, he’d much rather have your vagina around his cock, however he can appreciate your orals too. He won’t ask for it, letting you decide when you want to do it, if you feel like it. He’s happy to oblige, but he’s definitely more on the giving side of things.

Pace; is he fast and rough? slow and sensual?

Caesar is adaptable. He’s mindful and watchful of your needs, only getting rougher on his own account in those moments where he’s unable to hold back from his most animalistic urges. His default is slow and sensual, always wanting you to let go and relax after busy days in the colony, and you’re beyond grateful for that. But when you want it rough, do brace yourself. Face against the nest and all that.

Quickie; his opinions on quickies, how often.

Loves them and there are seasons—around winter and autumn—when it happens more often, as the colony affairs take most of his time. Caesar’s a patient guy and would choose to do things at his own pace always, sure, but the reality of leadership isn’t all peaches and cream and he knows how to navigate through that with you like no other. Man got skills.

Risk; is he game to experiment? does he take risks?

Caesar can’t afford to take too many risks because he’s got a reputation to maintain, as stated before. But, he will definitely experiment within the limits—more so if it has nothing even remotely potentially dangerous involved, as he is overprotective of you.

Stamina; how many rounds can he go for? how long does he last?

Being a chimpanzee has its perks and one of them is definitely resistance. Although chimps’ intercourse is fairly practical and quick, Caesar’s simply built different. You reckon that’s also a reason why apes respect him; perhaps they can somehow sense the king’s physical advantages over any other males around. You have no complaints, that’s for damn sure.

Toys; does he own toys?

Caesar’s familiar with this concept after you tell him, but it’s no secret the options are scarce in your conditions. When you find an untouched vibrator in one of your scavenging trips to the city, though, his curiosity is instantly peaked. He’s still sceptical about the toy’s ability to satisfy you over his own cock, of course, yet the option seems more reasonable when you ask him to stimulate you further with it while he’s fucking you. He’s always happy to oblige if it adds to your pleasure.

Unfair; how much he likes to tease.

Caesar’s genuine nature doesn’t really allow him to make you suffer often, even if it’s for a reward later on, however he can tease you from time to time. Mainly whenever you get too cheeky with your jokes about giving more attention to the males in the colony, Koba from all apes. He finds himself rolling his eyes in a mix of impatience and amusement at your jabs about there being a thin line between love and hate for humans. Puffing his chest in response, he will sign to you playfully, with a cocky grin, that no other ape in the colony would ever be able to satisfy you like he can. Additionally, he makes his case for it that night, coming three times inside you without batting an eye. You have no choice but to yield.

Volume; how loud he is, what sounds he makes.

Fun fact: Caesar is regretfully much louder than he should, but he just can’t control himself with you. It’s particularly hard for him to shut the fuck up whenever you get the idea of bouncing on his cock. Not his favourite position, yet for some reason, just the sight of you riding him with so much necessity, practically coming undone with every movement is enough for the ape king to snarl and growl almost like he’s being gutted, filled with pure desire for you.

Wild card; a random headcanon.

Caesar’s favourite hobby includes casually grooming you after sex. Not that you have lice or anything like that; he knows you manage to keep up with your hygiene even whilst living with the apes, but the king enjoys bonding like this with you, similar to when you teach him new human customs he never got the chance to get in touch with before the flu.

X-ray; let’s see what’s going on under that... fur.

Caesar’s stature is impressive for an ape and his cock, while not disproportionate to his size, is certainly above average for his species. He’s thick and veiny, qualities that can both be a delight and a burden when you turn him on in public with your teasing.

Yearning; how high is his sex drive?

High as fuck. Seriously. Caesar might kill someone with his bare hands if he spends too much time without touching you. Apes already drive him crazy almost on a daily basis, but if on top of that he can’t even come home with the silent hope you’ll be there waiting for him to fuck you senseless, the ape king will fall apart. He’s that needy.

Zzz; how quickly he falls asleep afterwards.

Depends on what kind of a day Caesar had, really. If he’s been stressed and took the opportunity to blow off some steam, then he will be most likely to pull out of you and hold you to his chest, closing his eyes and drifting off the next minute. Oppositely, if he only improved his day by having sex with you at night, he makes conversation and asks about you and your day in the colony. Ultimately, it all comes down to context.

[feelo-fick]

WELCOME TO PHIO'S EXTREMELY SELF INDULGENT AU HOUR!!!

"Oh, FINALLY, another visitor! It's so quiet in here, it's unnerving..."

—

This AU was meant to be posted on halloween but eh.... Happy Thanksgiving? HAHAHHA

still dont have a name for it, but basically, back in october i was suddenly hit with the need to have a halloween au, so now we have ghost-ified prismo and vampire/witch-ified scarab :D ( although didnt finish the scarab reference spread in time because uh, school and i lost motivation unfortunately )

au synopsis and rambling below the cut!!

the premise of this au is simple : scarab is a real estate agent whos known for his manners ( never barges in, always waits to be invited! though it is a little weird how he keeps asking to be let inside even if they already agreed that he was going to come over... ) and efficiency at his job - that is, convincing people to buy high-end housing for a good price. although his social skills need some... work, his ability to persuade people isnt something to be laughed at.

unfortunately for him, persuading the higher-ups is a completely different story - which he learned the hard way after flunking something big for the company. they dont choose to fire him, no. instead, they put him through a trial, assigning him to sell their most unprofitable property : the mansion in a small town locally known for being haunted by an "evil spirit". if scarab manages to sell it (for good profit) within six months, he is excused and is able to go on with his job. if not... well, best not to think about it, yes? after all, he'll succeed with ease - all he has to do is dispel any worries about some fake "ghost" that only exists as a result of filthy rumors. maybe clean up the place. not too hard, right?

meanwhile, stuck inside said mansion is an extremely bored prismo. hes been hangin around this place for like... how many years now? forty? a hundred? meh, all the same, lately the place has been quieter than usual. i mean- of course people dont just walk into a creepy mansion every day, but there would usually be at least a few bold kids or vloggers coming in now and then for him to entertain but even then they wouldn't stay long ( for obvious reasons ). and now, just some unbound spirits or dumb animals would pass by and thats about it. a guy can only entertain himself for so long, yknow?

that is, until today. when some posh-looking business man entered the premises and started snooping around ( whats the deal with that, by the way?? ). must be prismo's lucky day!! this is the perfect chance to pull out all the stops and play the FUNNIEST prank ever! hah!

... oh. looks like things've gotten a little out of hand.

—

WOOT WOOT WOOTTTTTTTTTTT!!! im so so happy to finish this because ohhhhh my god this has taken ages for no reason other than the fact that ive been really dragging myself to make presentable art JSNDJSJXNSJX.... i realize that i have never worked in real estate ( or at all ) which means i have probably fucked something up but uhh um ill deal with the backlash later :"D im also realizing how many odd unanswered bits and bobs this au is going to have in the future, which... i am ignoring for the most part for now, but there are SOME things that i DO have figured out like ghost lore... but thats for another time, for now i leave you with this >:)

[genderkoolaid]

advice on how to get over the fear that t is going to make me ugly? or that i’m going to miss “the old me”

i’m a queer trans guy and i’ve been questioning going on t for years now and i know i definitely want bottom growth, body fat redistribution and more body hair.

but im err on the side of face and voice changes. i’m scared of disliking my new voice and suddenly growing dysphoric over it (i dont have too much voice dysphoria now) and disliking how my new face will look. i’m kinda genderfluid as well so it’s complicated. but i don’t want to go my whole life without knowing what it’s like to be on hrt. but i can’t get over the fear of looking/finding myself ugly and undesirable and losing my community... which is ironic cuz i find other trans men attractive as hell. i discussed this in therapy and i still feel this way :/

i wish there was a way for me to start without telling anyone and then breaking the news when i’m experiencing changes and feeling more confident about it. i have my gender dysphoria diagnosis and i can start if i want to, but i need my family’s financial support. i don’t want to make it a big deal since it’s just something i’d be trying out to feel more like myself in certain ways.

sorry this turned into a long ass rant and you don’t have to reply but i’m just gonna kindly leave it in the ask box 💀

There's a post that goes like "all of life is irreversible. i cannot go back a single second" and I think thats something good to keep in mind when you are thinking through this. You are already living with a body that has changed and will continue to change in ways largely out of your control. You are already living in a post-irreversible-alteration body.

If you do go on T and find you don't like how your voice sounds: for one, you can stop at any time (& if you haven't checked out microdosing as an option, you should). But two: plenty of people live with a deeper voice than they want. Plenty of people live with facial hair they dislike. You can pursue the same therapies and procedures they do. Or maybe you don't, and you find ways to live with a voice or face you aren't totally in love with.

So much detransition fearmongering, especially directed at transmascs & assoc. trans people, heavily relies on the specter of the fallen woman, itself steeped in trans-misogyny & intersexism. The idea that, for one, a "woman" who has mixed-sex features is ugly and undesirable, and two, that a "woman" made undesirable is forever doomed to be miserable and worthless. The transphobic story of detransition keeps our bodies stuck in this moment of revulsion and regret, narratively preventing us as characters from being able to move on and live happy lives in atypical bodies. Even if you do regret/dislike some things about T, you are not forever stuck in that feeling. The story does not stop at that! You will just keep living and find new ways of dealing with your bodily feelings!

The social aspect of this is a bit more complicated but I also have some firsthand experience with it. Because, as mentioned before, there's a lot of transphobic misogyny/misogynistic transphobia that affects transmascs & others who go on T, who have to confront the feeling of losing your potential desirability. And then there's also the way many people are treated after going on T, facing a whole new area of bodily scrutiny: you may suddenly have people making comments about how someone needs to force teenage boys to shave because their facial hair is a personal offense. I went from being self-conscious about how high my voice was to being self-conscious about how undeniably trans my voice was. And, specifically, my facial hair, voice changes, etc. were all signs of my transmasculine desire, and I became self-conscious about how obvious it was that I desired being trans, I desired this body. I could no longer let everyone pretend I was a cishet girl at family gatherings and avoid confronting these issues, because I had essentially written I WANT TO BE A TRANNY all over my physical form.

This is something I'm still struggling with myself. I, like many other queer & autistic people, already struggled with feeling desirable or worthy of being seen alongside conventionally attractive cishet people who could act normal. Being visibly trans, and taking a huge step away from the desirable cis-perisex-girl body, can really open up that can of worms. Especially being genderfluid/genderqueer! Because we often cannot find a comfortable space for ourselves within the conventions of attractiveness for cis men, like some binary trans men are able to.

But ultimately, I don't regret going on T at all. I would have had body issues regardless, and I got a lot out of going on T. I think mentally preparing yourself to struggle with these things, and seeking out other transmasc people, is a big help. Again: all of life is irreversible. we cannot go back a single second. We are already living in imperfect bodies we struggle to love or see as worthy. If you know you want some of the things T can offer, and you don't want to go your whole life without knowing, then just do it. Dive in, and don't feel any shame if you decide to get out. Just keep living and finding ways to live better right now.

[isappuccino]

hey babe :3 u said reqs r open so i hv an idea!! make like a fic w gunwook n its highschool volleyball au where u both r the captains of the boys n girls teams idk how to explain it.. also do u think miumuras is a good username for my blog cs im gna change it once my smau is overrr

this ask is so old, omg im so sorry!

f!vbcap!reader x vbcap!rival!gunwook . fluff . no tw . rlly rlly cringe...

"gunwook." you say as you look up at him. "yn." he replies smiling, making fun of your seriousness. it really wasn't a big deal in his opinion, all he did was steal your court. "this is our court, we were here first." you state, trying to focus on his eyes and not the obvious smirk on his face, "yet you all left to get ice cream. meaning free opportunity, so i took it." he says, leaning down to get closer to your face.. you flinch away, scrunching your face up in the process. "bullshit. we booked this court a week ago! i'm getting coach." gunwooks smirk fades as he grabs your hand stopping you from walking away, "don't. fine, we'll give you the court, but only for today. don't keep expecting me to be nice." you scoff, watching him walk away 'what is he? some villian?' "alright, girls! on the court!" you hear your coach call out.

you walked out of the school, looking up at the heavy rain. quietly, you curse at yourself for not bringing an umbrella. "fuck. guess i'll have to run" you huff, annoyed since you're still sore from practice. "need help?" you hear from behind you. turning around you're face to face with the captain of the boys volleyball team, and your worst enemy. gunwook. 'great. just my luck.' you turn back around, rolling your eyes. "no. gunwook. i dont need your help." taking off your backpack you carry it above you as you step out into the pouring rain. "holy shit! its fucking cold!" you scream out, hearing giggles behind you, "do you need help now?" gunwook says, walking next to you with his umbrella dawning only above him. torturing you seemed like his favorite hobby. "oh fuck off dude. i dont wanna play today." you yell, walking faster than him.

it had been 10 minutes since you left the school, slowly hating how far away your home is from the school. weirdly enough, gunwook was still next to you walking with his umbrellla. you had passed by many people, staring at the two of you wondering why one of you was drenched in water, while the other remained dry. "fuck! fine I need your help!" you screamed in a last effort. the rain had gotten even worse. "okay!" gunwook said, instantly pushing himself closer to you. "feel better now, sweetheart?" gunwook smirks, "whatever, shut up and walk." you say shoving his side. you cant lie, his presence had been comforting. "say, do you really walk this far? everyday?" he asks, you nod before answering him. "i live this far, idiot." he laughs, looking down. "you're really pretty." he says randomly, a blush creeping on both your faces causes an awkward tension. "... you too." 'FUCK!' "you too?? can't even say thank you, huh?" he smirks, "shut up, i'll take that back too." yeah, maybe his presence wasn't so bad.

[personwhowrites]

gaz, soap, ghost, graves, valeria, alejandro and prices reaction to them proposing to the reader and the reader says no?

Moment I saw this request I my mind went straight into fucking writer mode. I also added Rodolfo cause, I been getting attached to that man. His seriously a pure person that needs more attention 😀

John “Captain” Price

Will set up just the perfect spot, perfect lighting and the perfect ring for you.

When he hears the word no his heart will immediately shatter. Yet he will understand or will try to understand.

Asks you why in the most respectful way and what can he do to make you yes in the future.

Still your boyfriend even though it hurts him not call you his wife.

It becomes obvious he can’t take the heartbreak and breaks things off with you. Try’s his best to still at least end it in good terms.

Realizes his mistake after a few weeks of being apart and begs to be with you again.

“Y/n, please..im sorry that I broke our relationship off..” Price says holding your hands tightly so you can’t escape his grip. “..Please take me back, Im a fucking mess without you.. please..”

“..Okay..” You mumble looking at him slightly scared of his behavior. “..Just let my hands go it’s hurting me.”

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Sets up a romantic dinner with you, has everything planned all the waiters and half the restaurant involved.

When he hears the words no, the people scream thinking you said yes, but soon realize you didn’t.

Things become hella awkward in the restaurant and you leave quickly.

He will chase after you and grab your hand and start asking why you said no.

Will start making a slight big deal about it and become embarrassed when you tell him you’re not ready yet.

He will break off things immediately.

“Y/n! Why? I seriously.. made it the best way to propose..” Gaz says holding your arm tightly. “You know what.. maybe we shouldn’t even be together anymore..I’m sorry.”

“..Gaz I wasn’t ready..” You mumble softly as he lets go of you and walks away. “Gaz..!”

John “Soap” Mactavish

He proposes on a beautiful night on a beach.

Surprise to see you said no and respects your choice.

Apologizes for proposing to you and try’s to make things normal.

Feels that the tension is too much and walks away from you after a couple minutes.

Too worried about the whole thing and texts you instead of talking about the problem face to face.

Soap: Y/n, maybe.. we should stop seeing each other. I don’t understand what made you say no.

Y/n: where are you soap?

The recipient you are sending to has chosen not to receive messages.

Simon “Ghost” Riley

Sets it up when you open the desert that he made for you.

Remains hella silent when you say no and get up from the table.

Grabs your hand tightly with force and stares at you for a long time.

Lets you go after realizing some fear in your eyes and tells you to get out.

You do as told and leave his house immediately, only to hear a loud crash of plates in the house.

Doesn’t break up with you but becomes hella more distant. All the trust and things done together mean nothing to him now.

Will be more cold towards to you when you try to be lovely with him.

You break things off after a while he doesn’t like that. Making him show up late in your apartment.

“Ghost..did you break in?” You mumble softly seeing the lock pick in his hand. “..please leave my apparent..”

“..Mhm..” Ghost hums looking your sleepy face. “Go back to bed.”

Alejandro Vargas

Sets up the most romantic and over the top proposal.

His smile fades when you say no making him drop the ring.

Asks you why multiple times in Spanish and shakes his head in disappointment.

Torn between asking you again or letting you go.

Asks you why in later following days until you finally snap and tell him you’re not ready.

Feels hurt by your response after years of dating.

Decides it’s best to not be together and breaks it off and completely disappears into his work.

“Alejandro I’m just not ready..” You say handing him back the rose. “I’m sorry..”

“..Okay..” He mumbles before walking away. “Adios Mi amor.”

Rodolfo “Rudy” Parra

Same with Alejandro, he wants to make sure you’re treated like a queen.

When he hears the words no from you mouth he goes into a complete meltdown.

Begs you to tell him what he did wrong to make you say no.

Begs you to marry him and he will treat you way better than before if you do.

Alejandro has to stop him from becoming a crazy man and takes him away ending the relationship at the moment.

“¡Por que!” Rodolfo says looking a you, tears running down his face. “What did I do wrong? I I can treat you better! I swear I’ll treat you way better!”

“Rudy!” Alejandro yells pulling him away from you. “I’m sorry y/n..uh.. you should go home..”

You give a nod as Alejandro pulls Rodolfo away from everyone sight.

Valeria “El sin nombre” Garza

Sets the best fucking thing she can think of which is at a party she’s throwing.

Glares at you when you say no answer gives a cold dry laugh thinking your joking.

Notices you aren’t and drags you away with the guests.

Demands to know why you say no.

Laughs when you tell her your not ready.

Insults you telling you someone else would love to be in your place. Wishing to be next to the best damn girlfriend.

She then forces to put the ring on or else she would kill you and replace you easily.

“What do you mean not ready?” Valeria hisses at you holding your arm tightly. “Do you know how many damn people would love to be in your spot!? You better put this fucking ring on before I kill you here right now and replace you like that.”

“..Okay..” You mumble softly in tears as she forcefully puts the ring on you.

König

Sets it all up at his home, with some of the other members and close friends.

When you say no the who the room goes silent. Hella solent that puts König in the spot, he becomes anxious and leaves the room.

Doesn’t bother stopping you from leaving the home.

Shuts himself out for days and ignores your calls and messages apologizing.

Finally has some strength to see you face to face..way late at night.

Knock a on your apartment door and breaks things off.

“Y/n.. This isn’t working out.” König says looking at your sleepy face. “Bye.”

“What..” You mumble as he walks away quickly. “..König..?”

Phillip Graves

Sets up a somewhat romantic date. Doesn’t go over board but gets you a nice ring.

Becomes silent when you say no and stares at you.

Gets up and throws the ring away in front of you then walks back to the table.

Crosses his arms and glares at you until finally asking you why.

Laughs when you say you aren’t ready and shakes his head finding humor in your “childish” behavior.

Gets up from the table and makes you pay for the bill then ghosts you right after that.

“Not ready?” Graves gives a long laugh making others look at the table. “Jesus..what a dumb reason.”

“Graves!” You hiss as he leaves the restaurant. “Mother fucker..”

[vlkyriesgf]

pink cigarette // cruella x fem!reader

a/n: OKOK i finally got this out im so sorry it took so long! took a break but jumped right back into it. courtesy to pink cigarette for motivation for this fic <3

summary: As captivated as you are by Cruella, work for the Baroness’s Charity Event is the second thing to invade your mind. Seeing her on the balcony has you debating whether or not it’s the perfect time to let her know how much she’s charmed you.

warnings: mention of fake death, internalized homophobia (like for one sentence), some previous rudeness and insults, very much fluff and pining! but all in all enemies to lovers i guess you could say?

word count: 2.6k

Helping Cruella get her plan in motion for the Baroness’s Charity Event had you busy day after day. It was nice to get back into how it was before the “accident” which had you scared for someone that you had come to care for deeply.

When Cruella brought Artie on board to help her make her label, he also brought you along knowing that you’d be useful, since he considers you an amazing tailor. At first, she seemed like some cold, self-centered designer wanting to make her way to the top of the industry.

During the series of her stunts you’d get snarky remarks and sarcasm for your work. Though your designs would come out great and seem like they’re greatly appreciated, but you couldn’t help but have feeling like you’d be thrown out the moment she doesn’t need you anymore. It was comments that made you feel small and like if you were wasting your time helping her. Maybe it was because of the way she’d talk you down. She was so close to the point where her attempt at intimidating you worked, leaving the scent of her perfume lingering around you. Honestly you don’t know how you put up with her at all.

Cruella showed a liking to you over time, meaning she wasn’t as hard on you as she was on Horace and Jasper. Surprisingly, she told you about her motivation for what she’s doing: her mom and that little necklace. She even went as far to tell you her real name. It was bittersweet, though it was mostly her talking and you listening as her back faced you, unable to see her vulnerability. But you swore heard something genuine in her tone as she decided to show a little bit of herself to you, this changed your mindset about her tremendously.

Unexpectedly, she kept you and Artie around and you noticed that your relationship with her basically went from trial and error to a genuine friendship. You thought it might have been because she had another girl to be around, you know, similar struggles and/or interests. Though, you never would have thought that it would because she started to fancy you.

Throughout the preparation days for her planned Fashion Riot at the Baroness’s Spring Show, she was a little more flirtatious while being cautious about it. Instead of the usual spiteful comments, she’d give you smiles and glances and if she’s having a good day she’ll give you a cup of tea. You admired those gestures and it kind of excited you, making you think what would come next. So it’s safe to say that you were distraught when you saw the warehouse on fire and definitely relived when she came back to you alive.

You now find yourself going around and doing a few finishing touches before you catch a glimpse of Cruella sitting outside on the balcony. Buddy is comfortably sat by the window, his tail wagging when you come near to pet him.

Looking out the window, Cruella is staring out into the city as the sun sets. You gaze at her for a little longer, she looks so peaceful, like it was the first time in a few months that she’s able to relax this way. She’s beautiful. But you can’t confess to her now, not tonight. It was obvious to you that she was in a contemplative state. Of course she would be though, tonight is a big deal for her.

You decide to pour some tea for her and yourself. Walking back towards the window, you place both cups near Buddy before stepping outside. You take a deep breath in as the cold weather hits you, slightly shuffling in your coat while taking the cups and using them to warm you hands.

“Feeling alright?” you ask her after clearing your throat. Sitting on the window ledge, you admired her as faced the city.

“You could say that.” she replied, her tone almost showing no emotion, leaving you to figure out if she was telling you the truth.

“Tea?” you softly spoke out. You aren’t sure where this interaction was going but honestly you’re willing to go with it.

Cruella nods as she finally turns her head to your person, tapping the space next to her. You assumed that she meant to put the cup next to her, so when you turned back after placing it you didn't expect her to call out to you.

“Come sit, darling. I don’t want you to tire yourself out before the tonight.” she coos out.

When you realized the action, you felt your face heat up as you make your way next to her. Her eyes never came off you, even when you take a sip of your tea while you muster up the courage to ask her something.

“Do you really want to go through with this?” you don’t face her as you ask, mainly because you know the answer and expect her to berate you about why she is.

All Cruella does is sigh and put her attention back to back to the city. You were taken aback but weren’t entirely surprised at the action. You’re definitely not going to take her back facing you as an answer this time.

“Cruella, no, I’m being serious.” you retort, attempting to move your head into her view so she can’t avoid your question.

“Awh and you’re so cute when you are.” she teases, quickly turning to you as she said so for your reaction. It’s just the one she wants, her comment flusters you but to her surprise you managed to swiftly compose yourself as you gave her a serious look.

Sighing, she looks at her lap in thought, trying to figure out the right words. “I want to. Have to, need to, it doesn’t matter but its for her.” She looks back up at you and sees you’re finally meeting her eyes, catching her off guard a bit. “..And for me, of course.”

You hum in reply, knowing that shes referring to her adoptive mother. Though, you can’t shake the fact that she can actually get killed this time if anything goes wrong.

“Look, you’re so strong and brave I wish you knew you don't always have to be. I'm here, if you're ever willing to let me help shoulder those burdens." you insisted.

You put your cup down as you move your body towards hers. Looking down, you realized that the tip of your fingers were on hers. “I just want you to be careful. You need to look after yourself as well, not just us so don’t actually die this time okay?” you plead, staying fixated on both of your hands.

Cruella stays staring at you, not just with awe but also with perplexity. “I won’t.” she says breathlessly, the feeling of your hands brushing around hers making her heart race.

To her, it almost felt like a promise, it sounded like your cared about her. She doesn’t know exactly why or when it happened, but Cruella feels like she has to protect you. She came to terms with her infatuation, knowing that there’s so many things that she admires about you. Then again, her mind has always been obscure, you have to let her know gently so she doesn’t-

“Even after all this, after how I treated you, the amount of trust you have in me is truly marvelous.” The recalling of her behavior around you before made you lift your head, it almost had you protest but she continues.

“Sometimes you amaze me, darling. I mean you always do, you have such intuition and real wisdom about things. I like understanding the way you see the world, how you see me." she admits, realizing with each word, she takes a risk.

“Well then, I guess it’s safe to say that we can leave that behind us.” Finally looking back down, you notice that her hands are lightly holding yours. Though it’s not your entire hand and it’s just over your fingers, that gave you enough sense of bravery and reason to let her know how you feel.

“Cruella, I feel like there’s something I should tell you.” you almost blurt out, quickly darting your head up towards her which startles her for a moment.

Stopping yourself to collect your thoughts, she stares at you out of confusion. “Alright, spit it out then, darling.”

Wondering what you’re going to say next, Cruella softly rubs her thumb across your fingers to see if it calms you. It didn’t, though it feels nice, it’s getting you no where near to what you want to say.

Doubt and fear clouds your mind but you breathe in and decide to see how this plays out. After all, this could be the only opportunity to tell her. You turn to her and grab hold of her hands, having them rest on top of your knees comfortably in your gentle grasp.

“Cruella, I really like you. I know it’s.. “unnatural” for me to feel this way about another woman but, honestly, I can’t help it.”

You looked down out of nervousness saying that last part, her staring made your mind start to trail off thinking she was about to explode on you. She didn’t do that at all, surprisingly. Instead, Cruella’s expression is plastered with confusion, her eyes still locked on you. You see how they shift from side to side as if she’s trying to some some complex puzzle.

The silence is deafening, you quickly remove your hand off hers as you’re about to stand and begin to apologize. “Okay, never mind, this wasn’t a good time for this. Just forget that came out of me, I’m sor-“

“No wait, stop.” Cruella interrupts, grabbing your forearm to stop you from walking away. “I was cruel to you, why are you not intimidated like the others?”

Why is she asking that? Did she disregard what was just said? You assume this is her processing, so you just comply. “I said it’s in the past” you start off, still standing with your arm in her grasp while.

“But if it makes you feel better I was, my perspective changed later on. You’re a person too, you know. One that’s capable of change no matter your status or ego.” you tell her, seeing her face soften as you sit back down.

“After the fire, I’ve put you all under great worry. Ever since the start of all this, all I’ve done is hurt the ones I love.” Cruella doesn’t make eye contact, knowing it’s a sign of vulnerability.

Though, what she said gave you hope, she was being vulnerable and admitted her love. As much as you didn’t want to push her boundaries, you really needed to know if her feelings were mutual.

“So you do love me?” you say abruptly. Her shoulders tense slightly but drop right after. She’s tried of trying to go around this conversation in any way out of fear, so she decides to just go with it. No matter how it ends.

“Unfortunately, I do” she finally says, reluctantly.

“Why say it like that then?” you ask her, confused as to why she seems to hate the idea of why she likes you.

“Because I can lose you, don’t you understand?! What’s the point of having you to myself if there’s a chance where you can be taken away in an instant?”

All you could do was stare and listen as Cruella continued her short outburst. You wanted to give her a big, warm hug since this was probably the first time in a while she was able to express her emotions like this.

“I’m sorry. It’s just..you’re very valuable to me” Cruella then shifts closer to you to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, hoping that her motion of gentleness calms you.

Bursts of confidence surge within you as you decide to hold her hand in place. “It’s nice to know you mean it.”

You then turn your head towards her wrist, placing a kiss and letting your lips linger. A small smile forms on you lips after feeling the pulse on her wrist.

Before anything else can be said, you hear a honk from below. Startling the two of you and feeling Cruella’s warm hand swiftly leave your space.

Leaning towards the edge you see Horace standing next to a newly fixed car not believing that it was the very car that Cruella had driven, badly, after the Black and White Ball.

“When I fixed it, I noticed a name. Do you now what this car’s called?”

Your eyes shift to Cruella in confusion to Horace’s question, her attention still on him.

“A devil!” He proudly yells out, not knowing he mispronounced the name on the license plate.

“Horace, I think it’s pronounced “DeVille”. You know, “De-Ville”?” you reply, chuckling as you spoke.

“I like that.” you hear Cruella simply say before she grabs your hand to head back inside. You tug her arm to stop her. “Cruella?”

“Yes darling?” she replies genuinely as she turns to you, the nickname that she always throws around seeming personal this time.

“Please be careful tonight.” You tell her, remembering the possibly life changing event tonight with the Baroness.

Cruella sighs and and fully envelopes you into her embrace, you hands comfortably placed on her waist and her head slightly tilted down to meet your face.

“I will, love. Don’t worry too much, it’ll mess with your lovely head while going through with the plan” Cruella stares at you for a moment, an intrusive thought starts to swarm her mind. She then takes hold of your face and teasingly squishes your cheeks, making your lips pucker.

You’re about to protest since you don’t know why she’s squishing your cheeks, furrowing your eyebrows out of confusion. She then leans in and pecks your lips quickly, gently resting her forehead against yours afterwards.

You freeze up because of that, it’s nice to see this side of her. The side where it seems she has no worry and where she can begin to appreciate these new moments.

“I wonder if this would’ve been different before the fire” you whisper, breaking the comforting silence. Keeping your eyes closed, too shy to meet her eyes after what she did.

“I’m not too sure. I don’t want to ponder on that.” A few seconds pass until Cruella feels you lean in close for a kiss before she backs up a little, confusing you once more.

“What’s wrong?” you look up at her, your tone coming out a little defeated.

“Doing that would be very dramatic, darling. I’ll give you this for now.” Cruella places her hand under your chin and gently lifts your head, titling it to the side a bit.

Goosebumps quickly form on your neck to your shoulders from the sudden cold air hitting your skin. You see Cruella lean down towards your neck, feeling a soothing mix of her warm breath and the cool air.

She places a kiss, similar to the one left on her wrist, where your neck and head meet.

The feeling of her lips makes you melt but when she places one last peck, the blissful feeling is replaced by a tickly feel that makes you let out a small giggle. Facing you again, Cruella fixes your hair to cover the mark her lipstick left.

“When this is all over, you’ll get a proper one, I promise.” she says as she finishes adjusting your hair and coat.

“I guess I have something else to look forward to then.” you tell her, gently squeezing her sides out of excitement.

Nothing else is said as the smug grin you’ve grown to love forms on her lips, her hands reach for your hands once again as you both start to head inside. Even if you both didn’t know where tonight was going to go, you know that you wanted to be by her side the whole way through. Cruella, too, hoped for this, knowing that she’ll get to love every single bit of you.

[kalkori]

ok prefacing-prefacing this with: this talks about rape!! if you can't handle that then skip!!

ok preface: i think that mouthwashing is an incredible game. i just have on criticism:

so like. imo i feel like jimmy's rape of anya was dealt not great and honestly was not nessecary.

like, handled poorly as in hard to tell, i guess? like ofc im not talking about when you have jimmy's perspective but like. i feel like theres only one line that actually hints to anya's pregnancy is due to rape and if you miss that well you kinda just miss out on that part of anya's deal. and also tbh i thought for a good chunk of time that it was swansea? like ofc maybe im just a dumbass since you do go talk to jimmy after talking to anya but. iirc literally right before that part you see swansea acting violently, and anya describes the father as kinda violent, hiding the gun from him. And its only after that!! that jimmy gets freaky!! and not immediately!!

i also find it strange that they don't make it more obvious. rape is a big thing‚ but it feels that the pregnancy part is made more important than the rape part. like idc if the ending is from jimmy's perspective, maybe make some more emphasis on that?!?!

and as someone had once said: if your story/character doesn't need rape, don't write rape. in my opinion, this story doesn't need that. jimmy already tries to kill the whole crew, in fact, jimmy already berates and gets pissed off at anya. you don't need rape to show that jimmy is an asshole, nor to even show that he's horrible to anya. and if you took the rape out, this story would still be basically the exact same. Jimmy. Does. Not. Need. To. Be. A. Rapist.

if you have a counterargument go ahead but i feel like rape is that One Thing you can't just put into a story without tact and care or just offhandedly. this is one of the few cases where if someone went "im going to ignore the rape part of this story" that i feel it would be justified, as it truly just ain't that great here.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 45

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

Pieces by zenstrike

Five times Keith found comfort with Lance, and one time he tried to return the favour.

look i know i talked about zenstrike last week and im here to do it again. i know what the secret relationship trope is, i know there are so many great fics but like. zenstrike reaches something in my chest and fucking twists it. i read something of theirs for the first time like two years ago and i remember being actually fucking struck dumb on my bed and clutching my phone because the way my stomach churned and my heart pounded and i well and truly FELT every fucking emotion!! when keith nervously pressed his palm to the junction of lance's neck and his breath sharpened mine did too!! when the swirling dread of fear and nerves turned in lances belly it turned in mine too!! idk what it is about zenstrike but they have touched me in a way no other author ever has in my whole life and i cant always read everything they write in one sitting, sometimes im consuming it all in a frenzy and sometimes one fic takes me days. anyway keith loving lance with every goddamn molecule but being physically unable to say it but determined to show it will always make me insane sorry for the goddamn essay

2. when you're here loving me by orphan_account [EXPLICIT]

“’Look at me, I’m Keith,” Lance muttered, “’I run directly at Galra sentries and don’t even think about the big, glowy thingies in their hands. What are those called again?’” He tightened the gauze, gently despite his trying to act angry, “’Right! Guns! Can’t possibly hurt me, right?’” Keith scowled, “I know what a gun is.” ✦ they come back from a mission, gross and in love.

this one is kinda porny lol but its pretty goddamn funny. of COURSE these two are the massive losers who play rock paper scissors after they bone 💀💀

3. The Samurai and the Sharp-Shooter by orphan_account

It's tough going on missions when you have to pretend you're dating your rival. Tougher still when you're actually not even rivals but lovers forced to hide that fact for the sake of the team's greater mission. Not canon, but still in space and everyone's there. Fluffy with zero angst.

this fic makes me CRY with laughter bc why are they fake dating to hide that they're real dating on a god damned assassination mission 😭😭 they're actually so goddamn stupid

4. Headshot by @angelwithaknife

“Guys,” Lance grunted, lying down behind a couples of rocks and aiming at some soldiers again, “I appreciate that you appreciate me but please stop waving at me after I save you, I’m sick of running around trying to find new spots, I specifically chose a long-range weapon so I could lie down all the time.”

this is so CUTE the team loves lance so bad. and as they should!! bc hes so smart and amazing and cool and wonderful and talented honestly i just love him so bad

5. What's Something You've Never Told Me? by @fondaboo

The lady drops a slice of lemon into it and slides it back towards him. “You’ve got pretty good taste kid,” she says. Her cordial smile turns wicked and teasing, as she jerks her chin to the dance floor. “And it's not just limited to drinks, I'd say.” Keith follows her dark gaze, before he can help himself, biting down on a groan when he sees where she’s looking. Lance. Jesus, he can’t even go to a bar without someone calling out his—blatant and painfully obvious—crush on Lance. “Friend of yours?” She croons. He drags a hand down his face, maybe he needs something stronger than whiskey. Ketamine maybe. “Best friend actually,” he squints through his fingers, glaring darkly, “not that it’s anyone’s business.” Or the author overuses em-dashes while trying to make Keith talk about his damn feelings! OR ace Lance has to deal with a smitten Keith and just wants to watch disney

ACE LANCE ACE LANCE ACE LANCE ACE LANCE ACE LANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!! god i love him. also fondaboo literally never misses

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[ofmdee]

😵

been having some thinky thoughts today, and for a while, rly, abt my Feelings abt breathing underwater and i tried to type something up on twitter but that jsut was not letting me think my thoughts correctly

i love BU........... so goddamn much. it started out as nothing more than a silly idea abt little mermaid ed meeting stede and kind of ballooned into what ive built it up into today. it's so important to me... but it's making me a little miserable right now?

miserable because i dont want to work on it, but i WANT TO want to work on it, i want to tell this story and read the finished product, ive got so many ideas, but i just. cannot get myself to do the actual WORK of making sentences and then staging all the pics........... what used to be a fun little pastime now feels like a chore, an obligation, a compulsion almost. it sucks, but it sucks more NOT doing it, you know what i mean? idk.

i know ive built it up into this big THING to myself, like... idk, i do this so often, i have big ideas and love to plan and organize them and then i get going with such intensity until i abruptly fizzle out. i start things and dont finish them, and i guess i just rly dont want this to be another thing that gets thrown on my unfinished projects pile :/

i have the next 2 parts drafted, but every time i go back to poke at them and edit them i just get so disheartened because it's obvious that my heart wasn't really in writing them, and it's difficult to salvage a rough draft like that. part of me wants to just delete those parts entirely and say fuck it im taking an indefinite hiatus, and i will start fresh when this is fun again! which would probably be the best thing, actually, but... i am reluctant to do that, because i just dont have anything else to rly fill my time rn.

i havent been getting a lot of joy out of... anything, rly, for a long time now, im so bored and apathetic and even my normal go to things arent cutting it anymore. and idk if it's a depression thing or if im truly outgrowing some interests, but either way i know i need to get more Things in my life somehow, because writing and sims are my two biggest pastimes, and then i combined them, and then i got sick of both so ive got so little to go on! so i keep poking at the things that i used to love, hoping to find that spark again 😪 i love these little guys and their little world!!! and it makes me sad that im not actually having Fun with the PROCESS.

it doesn't help that i am constantly torn between man i wish more ppl read my fic!!! i work so hard on it!! and man i never want anyone to perceive me or my writing ever it's so amateur!! idk what i want and idk what i want to DO about it!!

so, idk!! idk where this is all going, lol, i just... wanted to try and organize these thoughts somehow.

trying to reason w myself that at the end of the day, i am writing a fanfiction. that's it. it's not that big of a deal, and yet it feels huge to me, somehow. I don't wanna let down the ppl who are reading it, and i dont wanna let myself down again, either.

BUT it's not supposed to make me feel miserable it is supposed to be fun i am lowkey crying rn because like urghghghgh why isnt it fun?!!?!

so. i think i gotta do some more thinking, because not making any kind of decision is making things worse! and idk, if all of this hasnt put u off of the idea of my fic, here is the series page lmfao i could use some encouragement i guess......

but i am going to seriously put more thought into an official hiatus, because i think i am getting Too preoccupied with it again and it's messing with me!!!

i actually had a decent time doing those kitty ed pics today, even tho they didn't do so hot, so maybe i am just gonna try to focus on that kind of thing, doing stuff that actually catches my attention, and also doing things without the intention of sharing them at all. allowing things to be messy. i get so caught up in the thought of someone else seeing my work that i paralyze myself trying to make it PERFECT.

i had a decent time doing that oneshot from ed's pov as well. so maybe i need to work on projects that are a bit smaller scale. i dont have to say goodbye to BU stuff forever, but i am just so ALL OR NOTHING that it feels like a way bigger decision than it actually is 😓

so i guess....... im gonna sleep on it for a while. think about it and try and come to a firm decision. because if i take a break, i need to REALLY take a break, which includes not thinking about it all the time and constantly beating myself up for not doing it 😅

idk, thank you if you read this far, here are a few kitty pics of ed for ur time:

[dennydreadful]

HI THANKS FOR ANSWERING MY UNHINGED ASK THIS WILL BE VERY LONG BUT I READ THE COMIC IN ONE SITTING. im now going back and forth between imagining what kind of deeply toxic pseudo-vigilante shenanigans bunny (and caleb by association) get into post epilogue and thinking up scenarios where before shit got really real they both get soooooo much good therapy and heal together and end up toxicly codependent and kinda bad for each other still but in a way that doesn’t involve murder. like one of those aita posts where the general consensus is the couple should stay together bc even tho they’re both just exacerbating each others Issues at least nobody else is getting hurt. also i think dave and juicybaby hook up at some point.

have you ever seen that post that’s like “media in which it’s so very obvious all the problems could’ve been avoided if this guy got some therapy and a consensual bdsm relationship but that is very much Not What Happens in the story”? bc i feel like that applies to caleb. rip caleb you would’ve loved being a more well adjusted girl’s puppy and being led around the mall on a leash until security kicked you out. maybe next time king.

none of this to say i didn’t enjoy the comic as presented immensely btw. despite my ramblings here i think the comic ended in the most satisfying (for the audience at least) way possible. we love to see a dogboy beg for his own demise <3 we love to see a pretty girl go from justified anger to righteous rage <3 we love when characters have a deeply unhealthily fucked up perception of love and care and mental stability <3

like imo psychological horror is at its best when you take relatively normal people facing relatively mundane horrors then letting the aftermath of those horrors warp them beyond repair. in a good psych horror (at least when it’s like ii is and based on deeply human characters dealing with stuff in the most unhelpful way they can) you should be able to understand why and how things turned out like they did. you can think of a million ways it could’ve turned out differently if only the characters had seen the end coming, but the end they met was inevitable bc they *can’t* see it coming. the red flags aren’t obvious bc they increase so gradually. the bones of the building were there from the very beginning, but how were the characters supposed to know whether it’d be a home or a slaughterhouse? there were no plans, just bricks to lay and a storm coming. and that’s exactly how i felt finishing ii.

anyways. a caleb shaker charm would be so awesome i would love to go darla from finding nemo on his ass. thanks for the incredible comic my brain chemistry is different now and i’m kissing u on both cheeks in thanks MWAH MWAH

Cut because this post ended up really long, but here's Dave and Juicy:

idyllic island is a big old vent comic in a lot of ways. i drew on a lot of my own emotions and experiences to make it. i was in a very dark place for a very long time. i could have very easily gone down an even worse path, and very easily have been taken advantage of in a very dangerous way. but "guy goes to therapy and learns how to stop climbing into a wood chipper" is not a terribly interesting story imo, even if it's obviously the better outcome in real life. much more interesting to read about characters hurtling headlong towards certain doom lol

that said i always enjoy a good tragedy that leaves me feeling like "it didn't need to be like this..." (even though I know it was always the only way it was ever going to be) and imagining a happy world where everything worked out as best it could, so it's really cool to hear about someone doing that something I made!

before you read the next part just know that i LOVE hearing people's headcanons so feel free to disregard anything/everything i say here. death of the author and all that lol

imo he would have needed to never meet bunny for him to actually heal, and for her to not charge ahead on her path of destruction. even if he had gone to therapy and straightened himself up, bunny is so toxic she would have found exactly the right way to break him again (and honestly she would enjoy the added challenge). and couple's therapy would be SO BAD for him because she'd learn how manipulate and gaslight him even harder.

honestly I can't see a future for bunny where she DOESNT commit murder. she's a scorpion. it's simply her nature. it's not her fault we live in a society. perhaps she could have become a doctor and euthanized her patients discretely. i think she'd enjoy forensic science as well, but that would literally make her girl Dexter lol. maybe she could work for a three letter agency.

but yeah I absolutely agree that caleb would have LOVED to be in a 24/7 lifestyle BDSM relationship with a girl that did not want to grind him down to dust and scatter him on the wind. being a kinky freak with a loving partner would have fixed him 100%

[angelmichelangelo]

so i just want to talk about the whole donnie and april thing from the 2012 series since i have a lot of thoughts on them both and need somewhere to just. get it out my system.

so off the bat im gonna say i’m pretty neutral about the april/donnie ship. i.. don’t really care for it but if it’s there it’s not gonna overly bother me. i’m pretty much on the fence for most things tmnt ship related (though, big exception for woodyangelo just cus. lol) that being said i do have some thoughts about how it was handled in the 2012 show.

as most people might agree, the writing for these two wasn’t great. i think, just in my humble opinion, that the writers kinda ping ponged back and forth depending on fandom criticism of the ship. one minute the relationship seemed to be slowly developing, a nice easy slow burn and then it’d take a sharp turn and it was back to a lot of uncomfortable pining and uncertainty as to where they would both end up. i think the writers wanted to appease both ends of the fandom here by making it somewhat ambiguous but it kinda blew up in their faces. big time.

so then you have the people who put all the blame on april for this. “she’s leading donnie on!” “she’s playing with both donnie and casey!” “she just wants the attention!” and, yeah. maybe. but here’s my defence: (bad writing aside for a moment, let’s pretend that all of this was done on purpose) april doesn’t know what she wants. when we meet april in the show it’s evident that she’s a little dorky and uncool and she doesn’t have ANY friends. she has irma but it seems to be one of those friendships built out of pure convenience. “oh you don’t have friends, i don’t have friends. cool. let’s hang out.” in every scene they have together it’s awkward and weird because they don’t really seem to click. april has like, as little social skills as the turtles. she doesn’t have friends let alone have TWO guys show her any appreciation and affection. how is she supposed to know how to deal with all that? she’s a teenage girl, feelings are complicated.

and some people might blame donnie. “he kept persisting even when she gave clear hints” “he was being a weirdo about it” “he made her uncomfortable” donnie is a teenage boy who happens to be a mutant. a mutant that lives underground and had never even MET a girl until they saved april. donnie’s only point of reference for romance is what he’s most likely seen on tv or in books. it’s that really cheesy affectionate stuff that might work in movies, but in real life is just strange. donnie has even less social skills that april. he’s only ever had his brothers and dad to talk to. he doesn’t know how to communicate his feelings properly because up until he met april, he probably never even knew what it was to have a crush on somebody

my headcanon for these two is that donnie is clearly autistic. he’s very overly empathetic towards april but can’t understand why his efforts aren’t paying off like he thinks they will. i think april being a young teenage girl with a lot on her plate, might not recognise why donnie is acting this way. ive seen a lot of people also headcanon that april is aromantic which i totally 100% love and agree with. i don’t think she recognises this in the way donnie recognises his own autism. it causes them to clash, and neither of them really understand why that is, and can’t quite communicate it to the other until they’ve figured themselves out.

a lot of people say that 2012 ruined the donnie and april friendship that was pretty strong throughout the franchise but honestly, even the 2003 show had pepperings of donnie’s slight crush on april, even back then. it’s not as obvious but it was definitely there. obviously it never got brought up, which imo is a little heartbreaking to think of poor don harbouring these secret feelings for his friend and then having to just. get over it when she marries casey but i think their friendship is still pretty special to them both that it eventually stops becoming an issue for him.

2012 donnie was a social wreck. he had no clue what he was doing and i think the writers could have done waaaay better in making that less of a fault and more of just. idk. just something that made people hate him a little less. it’s in the same vein as mikey’s adhd. i think the writing was a product of its time and that’s why mutant mayhem tackles those issues way way better than 2012 ever did.

it could also be said that donnie and april don’t even really have a lot in common, like some iterations. she’s smart but she’s not a scientist, and donnie’s crush is first of all born out of just physical looks, meaning that maybe donnie just happened to latch onto her because he felt a teeny glimpse of normality (“i could love a girl and she could love me back”) and kinda just held onto that. any of the other girls in the show, donnie doesn’t really draw himself towards but that’s because the other girls are mostly his brothers love interests and donnie is a firm believing in sticking to the bro code lmao (although maybe just from mikey’s perspective, but donnie does seem quite friendly with renet but that might have just been a 2003 callback perhaps, but they have more in common than her and mikey do)

all in all, the donnie/april thing could have been handled way better, especially with casey thrown into the mix. but is there one person solely responsible for the way their relationship played out? absolutely not. they both crossed some boundaries and both made some mistakes that backfired but like i said, they are far from perfect and looking back on their arc together, it’s a little heartbreaking to see how.. unsure they both are, of themselves and of each other. but that’s just my two cent on the whole thing.

i don’t think female characters were the 2012 writers strong point sadly and april suffered as a result but i genuinely think in her good moments, she shines. and donnie isn’t a creep, he’s just a good kid that wants to find his own happiness, even if he looks in the wrong places, both their intentions are good, i believe.

okay rant over sound off in the tags/replies what you think of the donnie/april dynamic in 2012 😎

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

I am so excited about all of you fics and can’t wait to see the next chapters from each of them!!!

🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮🦮 (Oh cranberry!!!)

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸 (Oh OH and to think it was Eddie I was worried about I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!!)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟(Im not so patiently waiting for Eddie and Maddie and Chris to make it Sunport… Also I love how you had Bathena meet and I’m excited to see them develop)

🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮 (Intervening universe made me cry and I’m not ready for when Buck and Bobby actually talk)

HEY!!!!! Thank you so much!

So I posted Cranberry. Is there 30 of something else I can do for ya?

Here are the rest!

30 for 🩸 (YEAH SORRY I THOUGHT IT WASN'T GONNA BE SURPRISING BUT GLAD IT WAS):

---

After Eddie leaves Chris, he finds Maddie and Sophia wearing twin expressions of distress. Truly, the disappointed, peeved expressions of two sisters - one of whom isn’t even his - might just be too much for him to stomach. He’s kind of terrified. 

“What’s wrong?” Eddie asks. “Apart from the obvious.”

“He took all the keys,” Sophia says. “Every single set of car keys. What the hell did he do that for?”

Eddie thinks of May collapsing. 

“He doesn’t want me behind the wheel.” He presumes. “In case he kills her. My heart will stop.” 

“Oh my god,” Maddie sighs. 

“Can we take your car?” Eddie asks. 

Maddie nods. “We’ll have to.” 

He follows her and Sophia out into the driveway, locking the door behind him. He climbs into the front passenger seat of Maddie’s sedan. Sophia slides into the back. 

“So,” Maddie says. “Where am I going?”

“Long Beach,” Eddie says. 

“We have to search all of Long Beach for him?” Sophia replies. “Nothing more specific.”

“She works at the Promenade, she lives in MacArthur Park.” Eddie replies.

---

42 for 🧟 (hehehehe very soon!):

---

It is a big deal, though. It’s a big deal to Eddie. 

He gets this stupid idea in his brain. Really, he knows it’s stupid. Born more out of desperation than real logic. But here Maddie is, this chance encounter he made and had the opportunity to save. He did it, didn’t he? He saved her. And she likes his kid. She’s good with him. She has somewhere potentially safe to go. 

Maybe Maddie would do it. Maybe she’d take care of Chris for him, while he looks for Shannon. Maybe she’d keep him safe, her and her brother. Not forever. Just for a little while. 

Eddie needs to leave his son with someone he can trust. And he thinks he can trust Maddie. 

▪️▪️▪️

When they’re finally far enough away from the scene of their near devouring, Eddie pulls over off the side of the highway. He lifts Chris out of the backseat and holds him tight, wrapping him up as if Eddie is a weighted blanket, until his breathing and his heart rate are normal again. 

“I was so scared, Daddy,” Chris complains quietly. 

“I know, buddy. I’m sorry you were scared. You’re safe now.” 

But he’s not. Not really. Eddie can say it all he likes. He can be determined to make it true. But it isn’t. Not yet.

They take a long enough break to stretch their legs and collect themselves. They pee in a push. They drink and eat from what little Eddie has in the truck. Then it’s time to get going again. Based on the map, Eddie estimates they only have a little under two hours left. Nothing, really, in the quest for safety and reuniting Maddie with her brother. 

They check the radio again as they get closer. There’s still no signal. He sees the worry blossoming on Maddie’s face, though she tries to remain positive. There’s nothing more Eddie can say to comfort her. He feels badly about that. But they both know the only thing that will quell the anxiety is an answer. 

---

30 for 🔮(well we are getting right to the actual talking here):

---

He has his own issues with both of them, of course. Deep, painful ones that have left profound scars. But Bobby genuinely doesn’t know what it feels like to suspect that your parents don’t love you, and have their every action prove you right. He actually can’t imagine how that would have changed things for him. How much harder it would have all been. 

“It’s fine, Bobby,” Buck says, when he sees him struggling to articulate his thoughts. “It was a long time ago.”

No. No, it’s not fine at all. It’s the opposite of fine. 

Bobby shakes his head. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” Buck asks.

“Buck, just let me…” Bobby sighs. “If I have ever made you feel the way they made you feel, I’m sorry.”

Buck’s eyes bulge, face awash with anxiety. He doesn’t reply. 

“If I did, it wasn’t intentional. It didn’t come from the same place. And I hate that… God, I saw you, just a kid… I hate that I couldn’t…” 

Fix it for him? Whisk him away? He doesn’t really know. 

“It’s not your responsibility, Bobby,” Buck says quietly. “You can’t… It’s not your fault I let myself get carried away.”