#i think its the separation of it from yourself tbh

[tooquirkytolose]

Asexual people are capable of saying the most off the wall horniest fucking thing imaginable, I dunno where this delicate little fragile chaste flower thing comes from, the things I have heard and read from these ppl would put regular hornyposting to shame

[ef-1]

legs & lessons in perseverance | march '23

[oars]

i also learned that being top ranked in your class does not make you very smart..a lot of these kids were either just so out of touch from things outside of academics, they grew up in honor roll and would look down at people who were in normal classes and i think having friends and classmates with those kinds senitments really harmed me when i started to be in normal classes, and some of the dumbest things ive ever heard have come from peers who were top ranked in our class

[plutojester]

actually let me include my tags too

Fragile multidimensional characters >>> badass bland characters. Yes even if they're fragile in ways other than "is sad a lot." Yes even if they get unpalatable because of their insecurities or mess up a mission because of their emotional distress/lack of prowess. Especially then even. Softness is more than sweetness

[cryobabyy]

I think something that makes the bear so compelling is its dedication to showing complex and realistic interpersonal relationship. With s3, it’s obvious that despite Carmy’s misguided efforts to right his wrongs, he is still falling short. Being unable to do right by yourself prevents you from doing right by others. Sydney and Carmy are in the negatives because Carmy isn’t personally and emotionally evolved enough to nurture a successful partnership right now. He’s so in his head that he’s unaware of the damage he’s inflicting on his and Syd’s relationship. And Sydney is is too scared to admit that she’s unhappy. Two people can care so much about eachother, but unable to work it out. This is the unfortunate reality of this kind of dysfunction in relationships. If someone is not getting their needs met, they either move on or grow to resent the other person. It’s sad, and it’s even worse when you still care about the person but it’s just not working out. It’s a seriously complex story to tell and I can’t wait to see where they take it. I personally think Carmy needs to fail. His career has been on an upwards trajectory, and something like a bad review and losing his partner might be enough to disrupt the emotional gridlock he’s in. Some separation will do both of them good. Carmy needs to heal his relationship with the kitchen, and Sydney needs an environment where she can grow. I think a lot of times audiences can get caught up in the tunnel vision of fandom and be feel disappointed by where the story is going. But tbh, I’m impressed with the direction storer is steering towards. I appreciate the fact that he’s not making Sydney a slave to Carmy’s dysfunction in the name of “soul mates” or “twin flames”. That’s real life. People have options. They move on. They grow apart. People get left behind. Don’t be discouraged though! Tribulations and separation makes relationships come back stronger. Hang in there sydcarmies 🥺🫶🏽

[juyeonszn]

NECTAR

PAIRING kim sunwoo x f!reader

WORD COUNT 7.14k

GENRES smut ﹒ fluff

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, umm age gap!! reader is like 10 or so years older than sunwoo (it’s never really specified what her exact age is), reader is also eric’s older sister, there’s a bit of spanish thrown in here lol they’re in mexico for vacation what did u expect, sun eric and hak are professional baseball players, there’s a scene where a waitress is kinda icky to reader bc she’s older, i think mentions of alcohol, sunwoo is down BAD down bad to the point of no return it’s crazy, he’s also a horny impatient little shit, soft dom!sunwoo ig idk, oral (m! & f! receiving), face fucking, handjob ish, a little bit of hair pulling, vaginal fingering, So Much Praise, UNPROTECTED SEX pls be safe!!, edging, delayed orgasm kinda, missionary position, creampie, aftercare :P, the last scene is so cute and disgusting i hate couples

SUMMARY despite being nearly a decade older than him, sunwoo’s always had his eyes on you. so when your younger brother invites you to join them on vacation, you fall right into his trap. you can’t really blame him for finally taking the bait after all these years.

MORE woah hey again 😋 this one isn’t as wild as the hyunjae fic, but it has its moments LOLL if u ever read my warnings about this when it was on my wip list, then u know that this was actually an old fic back from when i wrote for anime 😭 i changed a lot tbh but a good chunk of the original plot is still there 👍 i got inspo for the last scene from a tumblr quote my irl posted on instagram isn’t that crazy anyway….. enjoy!!

PLAYLIST nectar — wayv, tangerine love (favorite) — nct dream, delicious — the boyz, passion fruit — the boyz, horizon — jaehyun, moonlight sunrise — twice

When you agreed to go with your younger brother on a vacation in Mexico for a week with his friends, you weren’t sure what you were expecting.

You knew your brother’s friends well. They'd gone to high school together and after partly going their separate ways following graduation, decided to go on yearly trips to make up for any lost time. This year, the destinations were the gorgeous beaches of Mexico. Cozumel, Cancun, you name it. You were hitting all the spots.

Those were the luxuries of being the older sister of a professional baseball player.

From the start of your getaway, every single one of your movements felt like they were being watched. Your skin burned with the heat of mocha brown eyes staring at you. Half of you wanted to point it out to Eric, but figured you’d save yourself from the drama. Besides, you were a big girl and two could play at that game.

The first instance took place before you even left for the trip.

You lived about an hour away from Eric and since you were all taking the same flight, you thought it would be more convenient to just ride to the airport together. And because he was closer to the airport, he offered for you to stay at his and Sunwoo’s apartment. Haknyeon would be meeting you there due to prior engagements with his own team.

When you arrived at your brother’s place, you immediately regretted it. You hadn’t called before going over and Eric happened to be out, leaving you alone with Sunwoo. There was nothing wrong with him, you just hadn’t seen him in a couple years and you were afraid of it being awkward.

The younger male helped you bring your things inside, huffing when he dropped your suitcases in the guest bedroom. He wipes away imaginary sweat from his forehead, blowing out a raspberry as he turns to face you.

“Did you pack bricks in there? Why the fuck was that so heavy?”

You laugh. Sunwoo had always been quite the clown as long as you’d known him. “I’m a girl, what did you expect? We never pack lightly.”

“You can say that again,” he snorts, twisting his torso to pop his back. “Uh, are you hungry? We have some leftover takeout in the fridge ‘cause you know damn well neither of us know how to cook.”

Before you can respond, you’re distracted by the sight of him raising his arms to stretch, his t-shirt riding up to show a sliver of his abdomen. From the way his slender fingers lock above his head to the taut skin peeking behind the fabric, you’re entranced. Your brain finally comprehends the fact that Kim Sunwoo was no longer a teenage boy, but rather a grown man.

He clears his throat, breaking your trance and forcing you to stop staring. Your cheeks flush slightly as you attempt to hide the embarrassment flooding your features. His lips are pulled into a smug grin, making you aware that he caught you. He doesn’t say anything though, keeping the cocky smirk as he leaves the room. (Presumably to go to the kitchen.)

With hefty feet, you drag yourself to follow. He’s already warming up the leftovers for you as you take a seat at the island barstool, resting your chin on your palm and your elbows on the counter. Your moment from a few minutes ago is long forgotten as you become transfixed by him on the other side of the island.

It’s weird for you to think about how much Eric has matured, coming from an older sister’s point of view. But having that same realization for Sunwoo is a completely different can of worms. You watch as he extracts the container out of the microwave and opens a drawer beside him to grab a pair of chopsticks simultaneously, all without skipping a beat.

He spins on his heels to place the food in front of you, pausing when he notices that you’re staring at him again. The glint in your eyes was more wholesome than before and it made his heart stutter in his chest. He slides the container across the surface of the island, leaning closer to you.

It was almost like your gaze trapped him in a spell, taking over his actions and drawing him towards you like a magnet. He’s never wanted you as much as he did right now, seeing you in his home, sitting on the stool in his kitchen. Your eyes widen when you’ve snapped back to reality.

Before he can do anything, the sound of the front door unlocking stops him and he’s stepping away to tidy up his mess as if nothing happened. Eric comes in to greet you happily and life continues on just as it had prior to Sunwoo leaning into your personal space. He acts like it never occurred, laughing along at a stupid joke your brother made.

And for some reason, you thought he would keep pretending nothing happened. What a rude awakening you were in for.

It’s a couple days into your trip and you were sitting on a lounge chair poolside, while Eric and Haknyeon had gone to get drinks. Sunwoo placed himself in the seat next to you, his sculpted chest and torso gleaming in all their tanned glory.

He knew it was wrong of him to pine after his best friend’s sister, but how could he not? There was something about your maturity that drove him crazy. But even if you ignored that, anyone who could see would find you stunningly gorgeous. The sight of you scantily clad in a bikini was enough to make the strongest men weak.

Perhaps it was also the thrill that you were nearly a decade older than him.

At this point, you weren’t sure if the warmth engulfing your body was from the sun or the brunette’s intense gaze, but you want to push your luck, the incident at the apartment still fresh on your mind.

“Sunwoo? Do you mind putting some sunscreen on my back for me?” You ask innocently, grasping the base of the tube firmly. His tongue darts out and swipes across his lips.

She knows what she’s doing, he thinks to himself.

“Yeah, s’no problem,” he responds cooly, standing from his chair to sit behind you on yours.

You’re borderline on his lap, so close that you can feel his breath on your neck. Just to fuck with him some more, you reach behind yourself to untie your swim suit top.

You’ve been on this playing field long enough to know when a man wants you, but you’ve never been an easy target. It was like a game of cat and mouse for you. Right when they think they’ve got you, you always seem to be three steps ahead.

This little chase that you were leading Sunwoo on wasn’t any different.

His fingers dance dangerously low on your back, working the lotion into your skin wonderfully. As you’ve gotten older, your body has undoubtedly changed. The fat of your thighs was far more than it was when you were in your early twenties/late teens. Your stomach was lined with stretch marks, no two the same. But even so, you remained ever confident. You wouldn’t put up with anyone who wouldn’t agree that your so-called ‘imperfections’ were beautiful.

After a few minutes, once the trap had been set, you tied your bathing suit back. The ghost of his skilled fingers lingered as you stood from the lounge chair, spotting your brother and Haknyeon walking back.

The brunette had never been denied before. He got what he wanted without fail, and he’d be damned if this was the one outlier. He’d just have to prove to you that even though he was younger, he was more of a man than any you’d ever been with. And that was a promise.

Later that evening, the four of you had gone to your respective rooms to shower and get ready for dinner. Luckily, Eric had used his brain for something good and reserved separate hotel rooms for each of you. ‘Just in case,’ he’d said.

You did the finishing touches of your makeup and checked your phone, finding a text from your brother.

[8:07] eric: we’re all in the lobby

[8:07] eric: just waiting on u

[8:07] eric: but take ur time dear sister pls don’t rush on our account

[8:08] eric: it’s not like we have an uber waiting for us or anything

[8:08] eric: note the sarcasm btw

You roll your eyes as you grab your purse, tossing the device inside. Who was he to talk about how long it took you to get ready? You were in your thirties and you were not about to be bossed around by your little brother. Back when he was still in high school, you were the one telling him to speed up his morning process.

Your dad had gotten a job halfway across the country right before his second year and it crushed him. You remember how upset he was when they broke the news, the thought of packing up his entire life and leaving all of his friends stung. So instead, you got a well paying job and bought a two bedroom apartment for the both of you, that way he could stay and finish out the rest of high school. You made some sacrifices, sure, but you were practically done experimenting in your life. You were in your late twenties by this point, what more was there to do? You’d already graduated from university so helping out your brother was doing everyone a favor.

After living together for nearly three years, you and Eric had grown a lot closer. With such an age difference, it’d been difficult to relate to one another and bond over certain things. When he’d discovered a new phase to go through, you had moved past it years prior. You were always just out of reach from each other until then. It was like the universe itself was trying to bring you together.

Even now, both of you much older, he still calls and asks to come over to your place so he can hang out. You meant just as much to him as he did to you.

The elevator dings, opening so you can stroll towards the group of young men waiting for you. Right when they caught sight of you, you started making your way to the Uber parked under the carport outside of the hotel.

The drive to the restaurant was silent, but you could feel an intense gaze on your form. Purposefully, you’d worn your most revealing outfit. A nice tight dress to hug your matured body and some skinny heels to elongate your legs. You were thankful that your brother wasn’t the type to be overly protective, well aware that his older sister could carry her own by now. However, you think even Haknyeon had started to pick up on your actions and the unspoken tension between you and Sunwoo.

You arrived at your location for the evening, stepping out of the car gracefully. You received multiple stares from other patrons and even a few employees. You weren’t sure if it was because you were just that drop dead gorgeous, or if it was another reason entirely. Maybe they were wondering what three men who looked as young as they did, were doing with an older woman such as yourself.

You don’t have to dwell on it for too long, a host showing the four of you to a booth almost immediately. Shout out to Eric and Sunwoo for having connections.

The seating arrangement ends up with you and Sunwoo on one side, Haknyeon and Eric on the other. You had a feeling this was not a good idea. They’d dropped you right where he wanted.

When the waitress comes to take your drink order, you feel the toasty warmth of a hand on your thigh, nearly tripping you up as you point out a margarita on the rocks from the menu. After she jots everything down, she taps her pen against the tablet. She then gestures between your party.

“Are any of you dating?” she asks curiously, eyeing you with a quirk to her brow. To anyone else, it’s a normal question. Eric, Haknyeon, and Sunwoo were indeed good looking guys. (One of them was your brother, of course he was attractive— where do you think he got it from?) But you could see right through her fake act. She had to have recognized the three baseball players.

“Haha, no actually. She’s my sister.” Eric chuckles, pointing at you with his thumb. She narrows her eyes momentarily before covering it up with a sickeningly sweet smile.

“Ah, tú hermana.” She tries to laugh off, but when the boys furrow their eyebrows, she realizes it fell upon deaf ears. You fight the urge to burst into laughter at how stupid they were.

“She said ‘your sister’ in Spanish. Idiots, I swear.” You explain to the still confused table. They let out a chorus of ‘ohhhh’s in response. Learning Spanish was something you’re glad you did, seeing as you sometimes needed to translate during your trip. You would definitely hold it over them when you got back.

The waitress seems to notice how close you and Sunwoo are sitting, but doesn’t call you out on it. While the other two are oblivious to her fixation, the brunette catches on quickly, squeezing the inside of your thigh as she continues her silly little version of twenty questions.

“Cuantos años tienes?” She asks you personally, realizing that you can understand her. What ever happened to girls supporting girls?

“How old are you?”

“En mis treinta.” You answer without hesitation, not exactly telling her for the sake of your own satisfaction. The press of Sunwoo’s fingers trails upward, causing you to shift uncomfortably.

“In my thirties.”

You can sense that she wants to say something snarky to you, her opposition to your age clear as glass, but she chooses not to. Whether that’s because she wants to seem like a good person in front of the boys or otherwise, you couldn’t care less. As long as you hadn’t been disrespected. And you knew if you were, Eric and the guys would jump to defend you with all their beings.

After what feels like a millennium, she finally leaves you alone, even going to the extent of switching tables with another waitress. Was that even allowed? You’re not entirely sure, but at least you didn’t have to deal with someone rude.

The majority of the dinner goes smoothly, the drinks and the food tasting unlike anything you’d ever had. Haknyeon couldn’t stop raving about the different flavors he was experiencing. At some point you think he told the waitress to send his thanks to the chef, in true Haknyeon fashion. That was the majority. The rest of the dinner was spent in absolute agony.

A certain baseball player couldn’t keep his hands to himself, eating with one and teasing you with the other. How no one paid any attention to what was happening right in front of them was beyond you. You’d even accidentally whimpered, covering it up by pretending the food was just that good.

The check couldn’t come fast enough, your body betraying you and anticipating getting back to the hotel. Your brother had different plans, claiming that the night was still young and he wanted to have drinks somewhere else. Your disappointment must’ve been obvious, because Sunwoo comes to your rescue.

“Eric, I think your sister’s ready to hit the hay.” He pats the brunette’s shoulder, one hand on his hip.

“Oh we can head back then—“ You interrupt him.

“No no, it’s fine, Eric, I'll be okay on my own. You guys have fun, don’t let me stop you.” You dismiss him. You could get rid of your problem yourself this way. No one to bother—

“I’ll go with you. Someone’s gotta make sure you get to your room safely, N/N. Besides, I'm beat. The sun’s starting to catch up to me.” Sunwoo grins, ruffling your hair. You glare at him, your irritation coming to light for the first time since you’d landed in the country. You’d done so well at acting like he wasn’t affecting you.

“Alright sick! Thanks, Sunwoo! Hak and I will see you tomorrow I guess,” Eric says. He turns to you, hugging your side. “I'll check to see if you’re still awake later.”

And that was that. You and your brother went your separate ways, ordering two Ubers for the pairs you were in.

It took all of about seconds following the ding of the elevator reaching your floor, for Sunwoo’s lips to meet yours. You jump, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, his large palms supporting you from your ass. It was so attractive that he could hold you like this— showing off the muscles he’s built from all his years of playing baseball, a far cry from that scrawny kid you knew when he was younger

He fumbles with his keycard, waving it frantically in front of the sensor. There’s a flash of green and he pushes the door open wide enough to fit the two of you through its threshold. Never once do your mouths disconnect, kissing each other so feverishly it raises the temperature of the room. He kicks the door closed behind him with his foot, pressing you up against the floor to ceiling mirror-wall beside the bathroom. The heat radiating off of your body fogs up the outline of your figure.

Sunwoo can’t seem to get enough of you, groping and grabbing any part of you that he can. You have to admit, you’ve never felt so needed— so wanted— in your life. In the messiness of teeth clashing and tongues tangling, your desperation begins to run rampant. You whine as he tugs at your bottom lip.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this, N/N,” his voice is husky and breathy, his soft pants filling your ears. He pecks your bare shoulder affectionately, cupping your right breast in his hand. “How long I’ve been waiting for you to take me seriously… to let me treat you like a real man should.”

His knee nudges itself between your legs, creating some much appreciated friction momentarily, his erection prominent against your thigh.

“I know that you know what you're doing when you dress like this. All slutty and revealing, showing yourself off to everyone,” his mouth hovers over the skin of your neck, goosebumps littering the surface. “But really, you do it for me, huh? You do it on purpose ‘cause you know how crazy it makes me. You know exactly what I’ve been wanting since we got here. That’s my smart girl.”

You can’t help the small moan that erupts from the back of your throat, his words and the wet feeling of his tongue circling the area he had just been sucking on going straight to the excitement pooling in your belly. He smiles mischievously, thumb running over your clothed nipple.

You’d been so lost in pleasure that you hadn’t even realized he’d moved you to the bed, your back on the fluffy white comforter and your thighs spread apart for him. He takes a hold of the back of his collar and removes his shirt in one swift motion, pushing your dress upward afterwards to assist you in discarding it.

His eyes rake your now half-naked body, the fullness of your tits nearly spilling out from the lacy nude strapless bra you were wearing. He drags a finger along your lace covered slit, his lips curling when he watches you shudder underneath his touch.

“Sunwoo, please…”

You don’t even know what you’re begging for, just that you need it. And you need it badly.

“Please, what?” He tsks, now massaging your inner thighs, working you up just like he wants. You pout, hoping to convey the message without pleading. Embarrassment floods your body when you realize he’s not gonna make it easy for you. “Use your words, sweetheart.”

You shut your eyes, hoping to will away the sheer mortification flushing your entire being. “P-please touch me.”

This fuels his ego even further. As if it could get any bigger.

“Open your pretty eyes, baby,” he coos, leaning forward to kiss you. When you obey his request, he hooks his long fingers into the waistband of your panties. “There we go. See, good girls get what they ask for.”

He slides them off, parting your legs immediately. The cool air makes you flinch. The one article of clothing that kept you unexposed was gone now, along with the confident woman from earlier in the day.

He repeats his actions from minutes ago, his pointer finger collecting your slick as it slides through your folds with ease. The squelching sound it makes is horrifying, your shame settling back into place. He kisses the plane of your stomach gently, murmuring into the skin.

“Do you hear that, sweetheart? Do you hear how excited you are for me? There’s no point in trying to hide it anymore.”

Your eyes widen at his words, opening your mouth to say something in retaliation but he takes this opportunity to bury two fingers inside of you. A gasp leaves your throat consequently, your back arching on instinct. It had been a while since a man had set aside time for foreplay. He truly was making good on his word, treating you like a real man should.

He lowers himself, positioning his face in front of your pussy and darts his tongue across his lips before flattening it against your clit. The sensation makes you shiver, though that reaction is nothing compared to what happens next. He curls his fingers inside of you, brushing that certain spongy spot that drives you insane, then begins alternating between kitten licking and sucking on the engorged skin of your clit.

You cry out, hands flying down to tug at his hair and dig your nails into his scalp. He doesn’t appear to mind at all, more like he enjoys it, reveling in the way you’re losing yourself to him slowly but surely. It's a dream come true for him. He's finally getting the opportunity to completely ruin you after waiting for-what-felt-like-ever. Horny, teenage Sunwoo would be jumping for joy over this.

He remembers the first time he met you. Eric had invited him, Haknyeon, and other members of the team over to your shared apartment for a team bonding during their second year. The only thought in his mind upon seeing you was ‘damn, I love older women.’ You were just so sure of yourself, he couldn’t help the tightness in his pants and the thumping in his chest.

And those feelings never seemed to fade.

In fact, it appeared that they grew with time. He’d dated other girls since then, especially because he was so popular in high school and in university. Yet for some reason he could never quite pinpoint, things never worked out. They just didn’t feel like the one for him, so he’d end the relationship before anyone got hurt more than they had to. Then the yearly trip would happen and Eric would update him on your life and his crush on you would come rushing back to him.

Even when you’d gotten engaged a few years ago, nothing could stop the way his heart beat only for you and you alone. He didn’t really like the dude all that much, but expressed support for you anyway because he wanted you to be happy. After Eric told him that he broke off the engagement to pursue someone else, Sunwoo just about lost it. He wanted to hunt the guy down himself. He couldn’t fathom how one could just throw away the once in a lifetime opportunity of calling you his. You deserved the world and so much more.

Everything resurfaces and it’s evident in the way his fingers dive even deeper inside of you, his appendage lapping mercilessly at your aching clit. You don’t question him even if you wanted to, your entire body feeling like it’s on cloud 9. He takes a break from licking and sucks at the sweet spot harshly, ripping out a prolonged moan from your lips.

Your release is in your field of vision now, so close that you can nearly taste it. You attempt to buck your hips up into his mouth to chase what you’re yearning for. He senses exactly what’s happening, so he slows his assault, much to your aggravation. You can’t even help the pleas that tumble from the back of your throat.

“No no no no, please,” you sit up, your hands still intertwined with his messy brown locks. “Sun, please… why’d you stop?”

His smile is almost conniving, you swear you can see his canines peeking through. He hovers above you, caging you between his torso and the bed. “You've been having all the fun, so now I think it’s time I have some, too.”

You’re about to ask what he means, when he steps back to undo his belt and zipper, pushing down his pants in record speed. Even through the black material of his (expensive looking) briefs, you can tell he’s well endowed. You rub your legs together, still sensitive from being deprived of your orgasm, and your hunger for all of him increases immensely.

“Eager, are we?” He chuckles, switching places with you. He sits at the edge of the bed, his legs open enough for you to fit between them. You bite your bottom lip, gripping each of his muscular thighs. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing to get crushed by them. It sure would be a hell of a way to die.

He leans back onto his palms, bunching up the sheets in his fists. You move forward to press your mouths in a searing kiss, cupping his clothed erection in your hand. He groans as his teeth nearly gnash with yours. You seize the chance to discard his underwear and massage his cock. The warmth and length of it makes your mouth water, almost whimpering at how flushed it is. You can tell that he’s painfully hard in the way he’s extremely responsive to all of your touches. You swipe your thumb over his slit, collecting the pre cum that’s formed there.

After deciding that enough is enough, he parts from you in favor of ordering you to get on your knees. You maintain eye contact as you wrap your lips around him, the nerves you’d been feeling all night finally washing off. Your tongue swirls around the tip a few times before it licks a broad line from the base back up along the underside. You take him down your throat this time, massaging his balls as you do so. Your cheeks hollow out as you bob your head, your hands jerking what you can’t fit.

An erratic knock at the door startles both of you and you’re about to remove yourself from him, but he keeps you there with a large hand, urging you to continue. You listen reluctantly, assuming the person would just go away if you ignored them.

However, the knock comes again moments later. Sunwoo looks down at you. His eyes tell you all you need to know, so you don’t stop.

“Sunwoo! Hey, have you seen my sister? She’s not in her room.”

You practically choke on him at the sound of your brother’s voice, but he still doesn’t let you pause. His attention doesn’t leave you as he replies.

“Uh yeah, she’s borrowing my shower. Hers wasn’t working.” He lies. His eyes bore into yours intensely, the knowledge that he had Eric’s hot older sister right here in front of him on her knees shrouding his mind.

The brunette outside seems to find that answer sufficient enough and doesn’t interrogate further. “Okay, cool. Just tell her to text me when she gets back to her room.”

“You got it.”

His footsteps can be heard padding against the carpet of the hallway as he walks away.

Your nose brushes against the hair at the base of his cock before he cups your cheeks and lifts your mouth off of him. You take in a deep breath, keeping your hands on his dick firmly. As you regain your breathing, you leave kisses all over, starting at the tip and ending down the shaft. You feel him shudder beneath you, a satisfaction coming from knowing that you’re the one who has him so weak.

You had Kim Sunwoo wrapped around your pretty little finger.

Unbeknownst to you, that’d always been the case. Since day one. But it didn’t matter at the moment. All that either of you cared about right now was wrecking each other.

He slides his cock down your throat again, loving the sight of you getting face fucked by him. You moan around him, the vibrations causing him to grasp at your hair tightly, though you don’t mind the sting either.

“You look so gorgeous like this, sweetheart. Your lips look so pretty wrapped around me. Can’t wait until I’m inside you,” he hisses when your tongue runs over his slit. “You want me to fuck you into the mattress? Until you can’t even remember your own name?”

You release him from your lips once more, nodding frantically. It’s almost pathetic how needy you are for him, your brother’s best friend, someone nearly ten years younger than yourself. “Yes, please, Sunwoo. I want you so bad. I want you to fuck me so hard, I can’t walk properly.”

His smirk from your pleads is ungodly. He swipes his thumb across your bottom lip, pinching it between his fingers before he pulls you up to kiss you roughly. Even though he has this big dominant act up on display, you know he wants you just as much. And he conveys it in the desperate way he moves his mouth against yours with such fervor.

After a few minutes, both of you get sick of wasting time and he flips you around so you’re on your back. He nips at your neck, whispering dirtily as he pumps himself in his hands.

“The only thing I want on your mind is me, you got that?” He lines his dick up with your hole, nibbling on your earlobe while he does so. “The name Kim Sunwoo is gonna be engraved in your fucking brain after tonight.”

Without any semblance of a warning, he pushes himself in, giving you no time for adjustment. His cock fills you up nicely, better than you’ve ever been before, and the feeling alone rips a particularly loud moan out of you. “Oh my god, Sun. Y-you're so big and your cock f-feels so g-good. So s-so good.”

“You’re so tight, your pussy is squeezing me. You gonna cream on my dick?”

He gives you another one of those sly grins, where it’s almost like he’s baring his canines to you, and you swear you’ve never wanted to be ruined as much as you do now.

His pace is unrelenting, nothing but sheer power going into every thrust of his hips. His cock hits places deep inside that you didn’t know existed. It amazes you how much stamina he has and it doesn’t appear like he’s letting up any time soon.

“Sunwoo, just like that— f-fuck yes— right there,”

“Look at you, Y/N, so fucking messy and all because of me.”

He hooks one of your knees on his shoulder, plunging even further into your pussy. The mewl you release is voluminous, enough to wake up anyone in the rooms surrounding his. One of his hands holds your leg in place while the other travels south, gripping your side and using his thumb to vigorously circle your clit.

The added stimulation is just what you need to nudge you closer to your tipping point, what you were deprived of earlier. He, of course, notices that and stops his attack with his finger. You whine in protest, not wanting to deal with his teasing again right now.

You open your mouth to express your distaste at the same moment he rolls his hips experimentally. So instead of complaining about his edging, you let out a choked groan.

“Sunwoo, please, let me cum. Please, I'm begging. I need to.” You hate that you’re in this position, but you can’t hold out much longer. Fatigue is catching up to you and if you don’t cum soon, you might pass out.

“You wanna cum, baby? You want me to let you cum?” He all but growls in your ear. You moan wantonly in response, quickly becoming a babbling mess. “I think you can wait a bit longer. Take it like a big girl, yeah?”

Your other leg wraps around his waist, allowing his already buried cock to kiss at your cervix. The new angle is unhinged, short circuiting your brain. Discarding any thought behind your actions, moving on autopilot, you pull him down to press your mouths together.

The combination of passion and pure lust drives both of you wild, fueling your desires. His lips part from yours and he moans breathily as you clench down on him, the exhale fanning over the lower part of your face. The sound is unlike anything you’ve heard before and you’d do just about anything to hear it again. The brunette was completely unaware of the effects he had on you, something as simple as a noise kicking you into high gear.

But it seems even he’s reaching his limits, not able to hold himself back anymore. In an attempt to finish you both off quickly, he brutalizes each piston of his pelvis. Your nails sink into his shoulders.

“F-fuck— S-Sunwoo I’m gonna— I’m gonna cum— so fucking—“

His thumb finds its way back to your clit and resumes its previous attack, the other circling around a peaked nipple, cutting you off. You arch into him, trying to bring the two of you impossibly closer. His cock rams in and out of you almost inhumanely at the rate he was going. With one particularly harsh thrust, he commands,

“Cum for me, sweetheart.”

The words send you overboard and you release around him, simultaneously gripping him like a vice and moaning so pornographically, you kind of feel bad for everyone else staying on this floor. Your whole body spasms with your orgasm, hushed moans falling from your swollen lips. Seconds later the twitch of his dick alerts you as he follows, filling you up with the warmth of his own cum. Had he not still been inside you, you were certain it’d flow right out, something akin to Niagara Falls. But you’re both too busy trying to catch your breaths to really pay attention to any of that extra stuff.

The ache was settling in your bones instantaneously, and you half-regretted encouraging him to ‘fuck you so hard you couldn’t walk properly’.

After what feels like an eternity, he slowly pulls out his softening cock, your pussy clenching at nothing and feeling empty as he presses a soft peck on the tip of your nose, his dominant personality dissipating along with it.

The moment feels strangely domestic, his coos of praise and the worry that he was too rough with you not flying over your head. Things like ‘you did so well, sweetheart’, ‘I’m so proud of you, baby’, and ‘your pussy was made for my cock’ floated around the air. He caressed your belly with one hand and your hair with the other before pulling himself away from you fully.

“Let me go get you a towel,” he smiles warmly, disappearing into the bathroom he told your brother you were borrowing. When he comes back, he has a fresh pair of briefs on and a damp washcloth on his forearm. “You know, I‘ve had the biggest crush on you since high school. The moment Eric introduced us, I practically fell in love.”

He carefully cleans up your cum covered thighs, weary of how sensitive you are. It dawns on him that you’re fighting back your sleep, but he also realizes that you can’t stay in his room, running the risk of being compromised and Eric finding out. He helps you into a sitting position and leads you to the bath.

He washes your hair and body for you, increasing the overwhelming amount of domesticity that you already started to feel. Even with his admission, you didn’t want to assume that this was something he really wanted. You’d made that mistake before, with your asshole of an ex fiancé, and you couldn’t stomach the thought of that happening with him. He was a young, hot professional baseball player. Why would he want to be tied down to you?

With a towel wrapped tightly around your body and your clothes draped over a shoulder, he aids you in your sneaky trip to your own hotel room. You fumble a bit with the key card, nervous under his gaze for some reason. When you finally get it open, you hurriedly enter, desperate to get away from him to avoid small talk. You were a grown ass woman and here you were, acting like a petulant child.

He reaches for your wrist and stops you prior to getting too far past the door frame. “Hey, hey, what’s the matter? Why won't you look at me? Did— did I do something wrong?”

“N-no! You didn’t. I just— I don't wanna misinterpret the situation...” You betray yourself and look him in the eyes, nearly melting at the soft chocolate color staring right back. He leans forward to kiss you on the lips. It isn’t rushed or forceful like any of the others from earlier in the night. It’s more like the loving one he placed on your nose. It conveys exactly what he wants to say, but can’t put into words, and rids of your doubts all at once. You instinctively shut your eyes, a smile working its way across your face.

“I’ll see you in the morning, sweetheart. Goodnight,” is what he leaves you with, scampering off to his room.

You bring your fingers up to your lips, the stupid grin not disappearing. He wasn’t kidding when he said the name Kim Sunwoo would be engraved in your brain tonight.

The next day, the four of you visit one of the beaches. You chuckle to yourself as you observe Eric and Haknyeon attempting to skimboard, but failing miserably. Your brother flies forward when his board skids to a stop and he stumbles a bit before regaining his bearings. The older laughs at him, hunching over and clutching his stomach as he does so.

Your eyes stay on them for a bit, but your head turns at the sound of footsteps approaching you and the beach towel you were sitting on. You finally glance over when a grunt fills your ears over the crashing waves. Sunwoo leans back onto his palms, sunglasses perched on top of his head. The goods you wanted were set between you, a bag nearly full to the brim with mandarin oranges.

On your way to the beach, you passed a vendor on the street selling different fruits. Among said fruits were the mandarins that caught your attention. You pouted when you realized you left your purse at the hotel, only having your I.D. on you. Being absolutely smitten with you and having no self control, Sunwoo made a promise to himself to come back when you were least expecting to buy you as many as he physically could. (Gift giving was one of his love languages.)

He smiles as your eyes light up like a Christmas tree in August, instinctively reaching for one of the oranges. You bring it up to your nose to smell the faint citrusy scent of the rind, humming contentedly afterwards. With the summer breeze blowing through your hair, the humidity painting your cheeks rosy and the sun behind you giving you a halo-like glow, you look like a scene ripped straight from a movie. Sunwoo feels like the most fortunate guy in the world knowing that he’s the only person who gets to see you like this, committing the visual to memory so he can look back on it whenever he pleases.

He decides that he could die right here right now, and he’d be satisfied with his life. He can already see it, his headstone; Rest in Peace Kim Sunwoo, 2000-2023.

You slowly start to peel the mandarin, each corner of your lips curled upwards. You pop a piece into your mouth, closing your eyes and savoring the taste of its nectar. Without pausing to think about it, you scoot closer to Sunwoo, feeding him some of the orange. A small giggle escapes the back of your throat when he smiles again, this time at how much more comfortable you are with him. (And also how yummy the mandarin is.)

“It almost tastes as sweet as you.”

He meant for it to be an innocent insinuation, but completely forgot about the fact that it could be misconceived as an innuendo. You slap his shoulder with a gasp because that’s exactly how you took it, and he raises his hands in surrender.

“Woah, I was trying to be cute. You’re the one with the dirty mind.”

You roll your eyes, shoving a few more pieces of mandarin into his mouth to shut him up. “Kim Sunwoo, you’re lucky I like you.”

His cheeks are puffed up with the fruit and he tries to smile at you, his pouty lips making him look a little silly. You press a quick kiss to them, forgetting that you were very much in public. He turns to you with eyes like a deer caught in headlights.

“What if Eric sees?” He swallows thickly.

You shake your head. “Let him. I’m happy. That’s all he really cares about.”

It befuddles you that just a week ago, you never would’ve thought this could happen. A week ago, Sunwoo was still that high school boy who stuttered whenever he spoke to you and came over to yours and Eric’s apartment every day after school. A week ago, you were still apprehensive about putting yourself out there, out of fear that you’d just get hurt again. But somehow, Sunwoo managed to change your entire perspective. And sitting here on this beach towel, feeding him mandarins and giggling at his jokes solidifies that for you.

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[larcenywrites]

Could you write about how Tony is with a younger gf that's like half his age? And maybe a lot more energetic than him if you know what I mean 🤭 I understand if age gaps make you uncomfortable and you don’t want to write it though!

I’m into age gaps given the right circumstances, and I completely understand the appeal! I wasn’t quite sure what to write since it’s not something I really put much thought into anyway, but I think it turned out okay and pretty cute :)

Warnings: 18+ for sexual references and themes | mentions of Dom/sub stuff | age gap obviously | like two feminine/she/her pronouns used

💠 Tony doesn't particularly mind either way that his s/o is (a lot) younger than him, but admittedly, he didn't expect that he'd end up with someone younger! He figured he'd prefer someone closer to his age, with whom he could share similar experiences of life...

💠 But the world works in mysterious ways! And it definitely works in mysterious ways when you find yourself in a loving relationship with Earth's grumpiest Avenger! Well... one of Earth's grumpiest Avengers 🤭

💠 It's partly his older age and partly his stressful job that has him tired and irritable, but lucky for him, you found this grumpy old man sweet and handsome 🥰

💠 And now he’s your grumpy old man 🥰

💠 He’s always had a thing for being the more dominant one. He wants to be bigger and stronger, the protector and provider, and his older age helps play into that!

💠 He definitely loves to spoil you! Anything you want!! He just loves spending money on his lovers, but in a way, he’s kinda showing off 🤭 not necessarily to you, but to prove that him being older still has its advantages 😉 a much younger man probably couldn’t treat you this well 💅

💠However… there’s often a difference between how much a person in their early 20s works and how much a person in their 40s works. You may not be used to your boyfriend working like 8-9 hours a day nearly every day! It might be quite the learning curve not having him around as often as you’d be used to :( Tony does feel pretty bad about it, he can remember being much more free and clingy too, so he cuts you some slack when you wanna bother him at work or in the lab 😉🩵

💠 He loves when he can teach you new things! He has a soft spot for it 🥰 even if it’s just the cleanest way to separate the egg yolk or just, like, how to do taxes, he enjoys being helpful and teaching you new things :) it’s cute tbh 🥰

💠 And he also loves getting to watch you practice things and keep learning things!! Are you cooking a ton of new things every day? Awesome! Even if it’s the same stuff or doesn’t always turn out good!! If you’re a college student, he’ll adore watching you work and read!

💠 You’re also from a whole different generation than him, so you’ve probably got a few things to teach him, too 😌💅 From new music to social media! While he’s still not really into the latter, he does enjoy all kinds of music!

💠But because you’re from different generations, his gestures may feel a bit more… old fashioned? But they’re classy! Always bringing flowers, always kissing your hand, always offering his arm for you to hold onto on a walk, offering his coat— it’s enough to make you feel like royalty honestly 🥰

💠 Though, it may feel a bit weird at first hanging out with his little social circle? They’re pretty much all Tony’s age, so you may feel a little out of place. Rhodey is actually quite welcoming though! Well, you weren’t there when he teased Tony about it a little 😅 but it wasn’t aimed at you! Honesty he was just happy to see his friend going out again :) in fact, Rhodey is probably the first person you’ll meet! After all, Tony’s parents aren’t around, and there’s no one else quite so important and close to him 🥲

💠 But don’t worry, Tony feels just as awkward with your similarly-aged friends 😅 and he was very nervous to meet your friends and/or family! Shit, he’s likely the same age as your parents 😭 while that might make things a little awkward as well… it’s actually pretty nice that they can share and bond over their very similar experiences and childhoods!

💠 Sometimes he wonders what his parents would think… but he’s pretty sure his dad was older, too! He likes to talk about them a little bit, and about his younger years. It probably kinda reminds you of how your own parents talk about how they grew up and how different it was from how you did, but it’s much more cute to hear Tony talk about it 😘

💠 Obviously loves to be called Daddy, but the age gap really has it driving him up the wall 😈 it's an authority thing, a power thing, and definitely a Dom thing 😏 and plus, you’re probably more, uh, innocent than he is 😏

💠 Bunny, princess, little deer, sweetie— he has all sorts of pet names to remind you of not just the age gap, but the gap in your power dynamic, too 🥴

💠 He definitely also loves teaching you new things in the bedroom 😈 there’s gotta be something you haven’t done yet if you have been sexually active before, and he’ll be sure to figure it out and teach you right 😌😉

💠 But he is still older, probably a lot older, and that does come with some… differences. Sure, he can go for a while, but once he cums a time or two 😮‍💨 he’s down for the count! So when you still want to go for another round, he’ll probably just have to hype you up while you touch yourself, or you’ll just have to settle for his hand 😅 it is kinda cute, the way you can tire him out 🤭 and he does find your high sex drive pretty hot 😘 he can go again as long as you can wait like an hour or two! The cuddles are great, though, if you do fall asleep 🥰

💠 He calls you the Energizer Bunny since you can go for so long 🤧 but he can remember being like that, too, when he was younger 🥴

💠Sometimes he (maybe a bit sad or insecure) jokes about if only you’d been able to meet him when he was younger, but give him a little kiss and remind him how glad you are to have met him now 🥰🥰🥰🥰

💠 He never thought he’d be insecure about his age, but… he is a little :( especially if you do comment on a picture of a younger him about how hot he was 😔 young age had him so naturally sculpted and more physically inclined. He was very pretty, huh! And while he’s obviously still strong, he’s got a little bit of tummy, and scarring, and crinkles in the corners of his eyes— a shame you didn’t get to see him back then!

💠 “You’re so silly, Tony~” you scold lovingly, interrupting his reminiscing of the past. You enjoy hearing his stories, but not when he starts to beat himself up! Another quick kiss shuts him up 🥰 And eventually he stops worrying so much about it ���

💠 But… Tony Stark dating someone younger? Possibly someone even like- half his age or more? It’s bound to gain traction in social media. Of course, some are positive, some are not, but either way, he really doesn’t want to deal with it :/ and he really doesn’t want you to deal with it :( and it kinda makes him feel worse that you have to :(

💠 But he’s gotta admit: your brighter mood and energy has made him happier, even at work! He wants to do stuff again! Like take you to his favorite cities and go on picnics and to the aquarium! Like the dates he took plenty of exes on when he was your age and loved 🥲 sometimes he even comments about how you make him feel young again 🥰

💠 And when he says stuff like that, you’re probably like “🙄 You sound old when you say stuff like that 🤭” but without skipping a beat, he makes sure to correct you.

💠 “I am old 🤨.”

[juvenillia]

Rammstein [headcanon for König]

a/n: @actuallyhiswife had a post about a Rammstein song fitting König and as a German metalhead who follows this band for a very long time I’m eager to share some of my culture with you guys. Tbh most of those songs are for a quite possessive and masochistic version of König, but tbh I can see that and I can’t wait to write some stalker!masochist!König inspired fics by those songs. I also attached a spotify link for every song.

tw/cw: suggestive content, mentions of cannibalism, smut, sex, piv, noncon, dubcon, possessiveness , power play, masochism, degradation, toxicity, manipulation, pain and more

If you want to know anything more about the specific songs or anything, just comment or message me.🩶

》 Masterpost 《

Ich tu’ dir weh

This song is about the pleasure of pain mixed with degradation and manipulation. A line translates into: “Your body is already distorted, but it doesn’t matter because everything is permitted that pleases. I’m gonna hurt you.” And, how a person (reader) is obsessed and dependent from another (König) and this person literally doesn’t care about it.  Another line translates into: “You’re completely devoted to me; You love me because I don’t love you. You gonna bleed for my salvation.”

Bück’ dich

This song is literally about submission and degradation. One line literally says: “I don’t care about the face, just bend over.”

Pussy

I have to add this one for obvious reasons. It’s just a song about having sex. I don’t think I need to really explain it, but I want to translate one of my favorite lines from that song that would fit König way too good. The line says: “Pretty Misses, do you desire more? Let’s have a blitzkrieg with my meaty rifle.”

Giftig

This song is literally about a toxic and dangerous relationship. A relationship that you can’t cut loose. So you rather destroy yourself with it than leave them. A line for example translates into: “The poison flows slowly into my blood, I start to see white lights and yes, somehow I do like it. There is simply no remedy.”  

Link 2 3 4

Originally this song was a statement to deny the accusations of the Band being part of the right scene in Germany.  But the marching beat (added as irony back then) is something I just find fitting. A line translates into: “They want my heart on the right spot, but then I look below, it beats left there”

Rein Raus

This song is just about having sex and fitting a very huge dick into a tight cunt. Yeah, I don’t need to explain that further. A line to translate: “You moan, I predict you: An elephant into a bottleneck.”

Mein Teil

This is literal song about cannibalism. (Was inspired by the criminal case by the cannibal of Rothenburg.) Won’t go into any further details because the song speaks for itself. A line to translate: “Today I will meet a gentleman; he likes me so much he could eat me up. Soft parts and even hard ones are on the menu”

Waidmanns Heil

A song that totally holds hunter/prey vibes. It's about the thrill during a hunt. About the ecstasy the hunter feels while chasing his prey, and about the power balance/play. A transalate of the very first lines: "I've been in heat for days, so I'm going to hunt myself a doe and I'll sit there until morning, that I can give it a chest hit."

Du hast

It's, as I believe, one of the most known songs outside of Germany because of the simplicity of its text. But we have a big double meaning here, because "Du has(s)t mich" can be translated into "you have me" or into "you hate me". It explores the detriments of marriage, and the developing separation and resentment drawn from a long-term relationship.

Bonus:

Bismarck by Sabaton – Sorry but I won’t argue about it, he does love that one! So I just needed to put it onto the list. If you don't know Sabaton, they make really cool power metal inspired by actual historical war victories, heroes and soldiers.

[ra3kiv]

hi hello! any tips on composition? yours is just breathtaking!

so what i like to do is to come up with the main element at first! usually its a character doing something they might be standing/sitting honestly just draw them however you want they might be holding something etc you can think of a background if you want to..and then i like to think about all the things thay i think "match the vibe" of the main element and of what i wany to achive and with every other element it kinda just gets easier...honeatly with my sea drawing i knew from the beginning that i want to put a few things in boxes but i wasnt sure what i wanted to add but the more i thoughy about the sea the easier it was to come up with things its honestly just an association game tbh it doesnt always have to make sense haha honesyly just try to have fun sometimea i draw every element separately and then glue them together however i want to and sometimea i add or change things while im mid rendering hahah composition is a struggle for me too but i try my best sorry that was a long response😭 also i know it takes time but its worth it figure out by yourself what works for you, i think you alwats have to keep in mind that digital art is digital art and it has soo many possibilities sorry if thay was too chaotic im to lazy to read it all again...

[cherri-balms]

♡﹕𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓, 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓! — PROLOGUE

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A/N﹕YAY I FINALLY FINISHED THE PROLOGUE FOR MY FIRST SERIES!

This is the first full fledged fanfic I have written in a long time, I hope anyone who finds this finds it enjoyable, I had a fun time writing this prologue chapter and I currently have around a 10-12 chapter vision for this series as it stands, but if this proves to be something you guys like I will be happy to extend the series! I do plan to create a tag list, if you would like to be added shoot me a DM and I will add you to the list! As always any replies will be made through our main acc @caravan-mad!

This prologue pretty much gives most if not all the information about the reader aside from important plot details. I wanted the reader's demon form and time period to be as ambiguous as possible and limit the use of Y/N, the reader in this story has allegories to butterflies.

Not all chapters will have warnings nor does this one, however the full fic will contain dark content and will be under the dead dove do not eat tag.

Some content will include but are not limited to: Unhealthy relationship dynamics, N.SFW, Unrequited love, Yandere themes, Dubcon, and pretty much any tag youd find listed in Hazbin Hotel tbh

𝐄 × 𝐌/𝐅 × 𝟐.𝟔𝐤 × 𝐎𝐧𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 × 𝐀𝐎𝟑

♡﹕Bored at work performing repetitive choreography and pleasing faceless demons, you find yourself reminiscing on life, death, and limbo.

♫ envy baby ~ ♫

“Lights clear? Sounds clear?” 

“We’ve been fucking over this Steven! We’ll know it’s clear when they finally stop tuning our shit-” 

“Anne chill, we still have six minutes till airing. Don’t waste all your energy on the roadie.” 

“That crowd doesn’t seem to be getting any quieter does it…” The little imp’s observations were now only being met by eyerolls and silent treatment by the two drummer girls as the completed instruments silenced in countdown. 

Lights crew above, sounds crew from behind, and effects team surround. The way every single backstage member of your cast would run and scurry around you to get their various tasks done always made you think of little mice, rats even, so worked up making sure everything was in perfect position before those curtains had a chance to stop separating you, from them.

It was cute enough to make you laugh as though you were still a highschool girl.

“Broadcasting live in 60 seconds!” Dark blue scene lighting begins to fade your entire surrounding to a pitch black, and among doing so freezes your little mice into statues all around. Only the tiniest crack in the fabric ahead illuminated the space with a sharp vertical line down the curves of the figure that stands as the adorning center piece of this particular attraction. Roaring bass brings about a quake to the stage beneath your feet, queuing time for you to give your puppies a treat.

“Awwwe~ Did we leave you waiting long?” The volume of pure passionate devotion always rang to your ears louder than any electrical speaker could achieve. 

The wave of the new future adorned in electrical inventions was something you’ve always been prepared to face; why even in the faint blur of the overworld it was all the grown ups could ever yap enough of! No, that wasn’t where that bitter taste came from.

In the full truth of things, you just never knew you’d stick around long enough to bear full witness to its infection of mankind.

Oh come on. Who are we kidding right now?

“Hi. I wanna people save, all right? ”

You’ve never been more liberated.

“You’re in m-my way!!”

Your eyes have but a second to adjust to the flood of bright neon before life hits play once again. The choreography you, and and the other 4 devils fanned out beside you have programmed into your bodies for the past months flow across the stage with ease. among the camera men you can make out the mass of waving pen lights stirred ablaze after the long anticipation, oh how you love they always use the color dearest to your heart…

“The tightrope falls, broken by others”

Once you felt the rushing high of the stage the first time around tolerance for it subsided immediately after. You’ve seen the looks on those poor saps down in the front row, each one hyper fixated on every movement you make wishing they could be you, or be up here with you.

And of course, you all flash them bright smiles, longing gazes and praise them with verses of purity more fitting for the angelic souls looming up above. Customer service is the utmost desired, as they say!

“What a lady, she’s gonna jump

towards the light and shatter humiliatingly”

Actually, can you even remember when your first performance was? How old were you even? All of this came from a cheap shot of gaining a few quick pennies back in the day. Landing yourself a handsome and rich husband with the filth you wore on your back was the first childhood dream you found dead on arrival, but what you were cursed in status you were blessed with the cuteness that made kittens hiss in envy. To say you had “the voice of a goddess” would mayhaps be a bit too presumptuous, but who were you to refute the compliment when it came your way?

Well, maybe trying to parse through finding the day your career debuted or took off was a fool's errand, but the moment it ended certainly still remains as a burned film stuck to your mind. You stopped caring about the “Oh woes me~ what did I do to deserve this~” a long time ago. Still, the punishment you received in death far exceeded what you ever did to earn in your eyes, more so than your sentencing of eternal damnation.

“High and without care I’m lonely, lonely”

Right on que, as always every time you reach exactly 32 seconds into your first song the intrusive memory flashes the same images of the past over your current reality it almost feels as if you were stuck suffering that fate again each time.

You wish there was more to say on the matter of your demise, but there’s only a brief two second window between staring down some heckling loud mouth making a scene in the crowd and a bomb beneath the stage going off before your soul is falling down under the earth’s crust as a blazing comet onto the asphalt below.

And two days before your 21st birthday too are you serious?! UN-Fucking believable!

“From their idle words, the clown becomes a prisoner”

The only thing you wanted to do was scream in the immense burning agony you were suffering until the whole world knew the kind of pain you were in, but each time you cried not even a croak could get past your scorched throat

Even after the blazes subsided and your charred cocoon was all that was left behind, the inferno decided your vocal chords were going to be its payment.

…. That was it?

This was your payout…

And after all that work…

“It’s the same love as always, no way I’d have regrets”

Surreal didn’t even begin to describe what became of the following weeks, months, you haven’t a clue. The construct of night and day seemed to mean jack in the bizzare wonderland of maddness holding you, only so much telling what shade of putrid red in the sky was darker than the same shade of fucking red from two hours ago! What a productive way to spend your newfound endless time!

Every aspect of this place made you absolutely sick, enough so to have you still praying you just were drugged and having the worst trip of your fucking life, but the horror in maddness is the consistency that lies between the lines. You’re certain that damned illuminated “WELCOME TO HELL!” sign and the stranger you befriended in the mirror was that line that made you finally cave.

“Hey, it's a amazing.”

Honestly, you couldn’t say what specifically led you into the epiphany you had, all of a sudden one day you heard a sudden snapping sound in your conscience, and like that everything made sense to you. Why your life was snuffed before you could emerge from your cocoon, why your makers deemed this your new home, and why that bomb taking your life just wasn’t enough to deem your afterlife a hell.

There was a certain liberation that came with hell that you were never going to get being the glowing little diamond you were in human society, through terrorism, cannibalism and bloodshed one thing would remain a constant throughout devil society. No one would ever give a damn about anything.

Hell became your fucking playground by the time your first extermination came around, and keeping on the move while broke as shit was a cakewalk this time around, but your first encounter with an overlord after catching your foot in the grave in the casino humbled your inflating ego. Chaos for society did not necessarily mean chaos without hierarchy, and going without a voice to call your own put you at an extreme disadvantage.

“LA-LA-LA!”

The crescendo of the opener is right around the corner, for the leading front and center of your group your vocals and choreography had primarily remained reserved for backup. The primary color of lights among the crowd made the obvious clear with who the majority of these demons were here to see, your manager was aware of this more than anyone else.

Your fans tended to be aware of this for a majority of your shows, your parts in particular tended to stand out even as mere background vocals.

“I’m ready for this this lover baby! 

My garden of love is in danger from a drawing hand. 

Truly, this this lover’s crazy! 

In the garden of harm, the bud of a human is a lie-ai-a!”

Sinners rejoice once the solo everyone was edging towards drops with the bass of the loudspeakers and the flares of the strobes above. The pitches your vocals were now capable of hitting and the frequency you were able to synthesize between notes wasn’t just inhuman, it was impossible for any singer whose notes carried on oxygen.

Your manager always made it a note in the writing room or when creating your setlists that overfeeding wolves with delicious treats would dull the taste over time, your solo singles often did well enough to prove this didn’t need to always be the case, but whenever it came to the business decisions you always put your full trust in him. Where you are standing right now is more than enough proof in your eyes that he knew exactly where and when to move his pawns, and in doing so he turned you into a valiant queen.

“Ah! I love you and even things about you I probably shouldn’t love 

I love you too much, on a count of one and two 

Lie-lie loving you, such words 

and doing such things, you’re in m-my way!”

Survival was of the least of your concerns after so much time had passed, but survival was all you could find yourself able to do in your forced retirement. Where you yearn for character in sound you were able to temporarily find when turning to radio, but living vicariously only quenches so much before greed starts cozying up within.

Plausible excuses for your laziness were wearing thinner by the day, even the last sane smolder of human morality trying to keep itself sparked wanted nothing more than to argue you weren’t supposed to be living to the fullest in hell, but the mute silence in your throat was beginning to phase your memory of the voice your inner conscience called its own too, and you'd sooner go mad trying than wither away again a fucking waste.

“Here comes the love maniac who never misses,

Stack up all the whining,

Fall in a high-fi love lie-ai-a!”

Overlords were still beings that had you nauseous upon first glance, your first meeting of one of these overlords had you vowing to never end up in the claws of one again, should you find yourself in a deal you can’t unbind yourself out of. Pride stuck thick to the roof of your mouth and there was nothing more you wanted to do than stick to your morals and prove use on your own, but reality had pelted you with stones throughout your entire afterlife.

You were going to need to write out a loan before you’d find yourself with any ounce of power to call your own, not like you didn’t have options for whom to choose! Even so, you needed to keep a steady head and an even sharper nose. In your ponderance you'd come to realize there was only really one option for you to go to this whole time. Maybe that gambling kitty taught you a valuable lesson on staking bets in the long run.

“Copy their acting and keep the truth hidden

Stacking three and lonely, lonely 

You’re surely a clown, a prisoner”

A bet on the future was what you were going to stake it all on.

“Copy their acting and keep the truth hidden

Stacking three and lonely, lonely 

You’re surely a clown, a prisoner”

Everything about how the world operated changed so rapidly from the days walking in the sunlight to your eternal party in the redlight, the wave of the future had finally hit with the promise for a solution to everyones problems. There couldn’t have been any better timing, if technology was going to be the way of the future, who's to say you couldn’t prove what was achievable? Like that, you had your sales pitch. The hardest part on your end was complete.

“Hey, it's a amazing.

LA-LA-LA!”

“So you were a singer in life and lost your voice in death, and just what the fuck made you think I was the man to go to for this?” Those were the magic words you were waiting for, with his composure shaken it wasn’t long before he was the one asking the questions and allowing the ball to move into your court. Your fingers dance on the illuminated tablet laying on the table once again before you flip it over toward his direction.

~Have your inventions not made it to that level of advancement yet?

Hook, line, and sinker. You had a hunch a passive aggressive challenge toward the ego would be what ultimately won you over with any overlord you chose, but the speed in which he stood from his desk and held out his hand, it felt almost too easy.

“If it’s a new voice you wish to invest in, consider your stocks opened, Monarch!” Finally…

“I’m ready for this this lover baby! 

My garden of love is in danger from a drawing hand.”

“Now for what you have to offer me,” You don’t care. “I hope you weren’t planning on extorting me out of a generous gift and then making the big bucks with it, hm?” These overlords just love to hear themselves go on.

“Truly, this this lover’s crazy! 

In the garden of harm, the bud of a human is a lie-ai-a!”

“I suppose I could just issue a royalty for your voice, after all you wouldn’t be making a sound without my tech. Lucky for you, I’ve been having fleeting thoughts of entering the music industry. So why not invest in each other instead~”

“Ah I love you and even things about you I probably shouldn’t love 

I love you too much, on a count of one and two”

Being owned by an overlord in the end wasn’t so bad, or maybe this is the fated “stockholm syndrome” everyone seems to be crying about these days. Either way, the biggest price you had to pay in the end was just having someone else do all the “business” part in show business.

Naive maybe, but rosey eyed you weren't. For all that he’s done you still fail to see how your end of the deal has in any way repaid what’s given, which can only lead to one thing down the line. You were going to have to give him your everything.

… Yet, how could you find yourself ungrateful to someone who fulfilled your afterlife dream and still continued to provide for you?

“Lie-lie loving you, such words and even such things, they’re in m-my way!”

The audience went absolutely ballistic at the final group pose signifying the end of your opening set, some of the really hardcore fans in the front row you swore passed out the second eye contact was made.

Yet when you turn your chin upward to the VIP section after performing your tricks so well, all you’re met with is a turned back and a schmoozed up producer instead of a tasty bone.

“Thank each and every one of you for coming to see us tonight!!” No, you only wanted him to come out to see you.

Only you.

Hey, Vox?

Can you just turn your stupid flat head this way?

[reiimicxii]

tbh i just dont want the dsmp to be remembered in infamy for being just a server who had criminals on there. it was so much more than just a minecraft server to me, and if it means that im the only dsmp fan lying around, so be it. i like the lore. i LOVE the characters.

i dont care if some of the cc's are assholes/just vile people, im fully separating the characters from em, because, y'know what? the characters aren't the cc's, they're fictional.

i think im gonna plan a lil project, yknow, just to send a "farewell", well, not for me, im still gonna be here lmao, but to the people who're leaving/left the fandom permanently.

to make the memory of the server not tainted by whoever was exposed for doing something vile, to make the memory of the server alive.

it's to make it less bittersweet, and more happy. im happy you were here, im happy you had those memories here. don't be sad or frustrated because it's over or some shitty cc's, be happy because it happened at all. be happy for all the experiences you had in this community.

that server was purely driven by fanworks, you made that server happen, you were apart of its success, you made that little song a whole symphony. and i wish you well on your future :)

-

also, kindly fuck off if you'd like to hate on dsmp or mcyt in general because of creeps, this server wasn't only here because of them, it was the fanbase, the songs, the animations, the art, the fanfiction.

there was a story here, tons of lore throughout hundreds of hours of livestreams on twitch. a story about war, about broken friendships, about nations falling them rising back up and then falling again, about a man wanting control, about a child soldier, about an anarchist, about so, so many things.

so many former fans that have a superiority complex where they deem themselves "better" than people who left later or are still here just because they left. you arent better than any of them, you need to learn that. you just left earlier, you cant just call yourself better than any of them.

im so sick of hearing those fucking jokes with minecraft or dsmp youtubers as the punchline, this is why so many dsmp cc's distance themselves from it. not every minecraft youtuber is a terrible person, what about grian? what about tommy? what about joel? what about scar? what about lizzie? what about tubbo? are they all just bad people apparently because they're minecraft youtubers and/or associated with the dsmp or other servers? no, they arent.

have a more open mind.

WS supporters and dream team stans also kindly go fuck off (support victims btw). i support shelby, alice, niki, lexie, caiti, andi, and freddie, get out of my page, this isnt a safe space for you. get off, go on.

-

just be happy you were here in this beautiful community to begin with :D

anyway, on a lighter note

here's a lil info about my lil project: everyones gonna have new designs / outfits for it !! :D / its an animatic thing lol

(im a lil excited abt it buttt im keeping it under wraps lol)

have a wonderful day :)

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

How would Vyes be with period comfort? Like I feel like he's the perfect person for that tbh, especially since his data collection obsession probably lends itself well to comfort.

(And I think Monty is the dude that'll send you a picture of the health isle and ask "What size pussy you wear?")

Tw: Afab reader

Absolutely. Yves collected enough information to know what ticks you off and what placates you during your period. Not to mention, since he has special environmentally altering devices around his house, you will find that your period symptoms are non-existent at best, mildly annoying at worst.

You will find it strange that you possess the energy and painlessness to do whatever you see in those sanitary products advertisements on TV. Yves has to remind you to change your pad or tampon regularly, because he is so good at alleviating it to the point you don't notice the ickiness down there. It's as if you don't have it.

He will pay extra attention to your nutrition during this time. Because you are losing blood and your hormones are running amok. Yves knows what each craving means; which mineral or vitamin you're lacking. He would fortify the meal with the required nutrients so that he could stop your desire to eat something unhealthy.

It depends on who you are as a person during menstruation, if you're the type to be clingy and whiny, you would notice a stark increase in his presence. Yves would touch you more, become a lot more chattier but his words are subliminally making you think highly of yourself. He knows that you tend to self hate during this vulnerable time.

If you want to be left alone, he will give you that. But within reason. Yves will be very careful with his words, getting straight to the point yet loving. So he wouldn't need to waste any of your precious patience.

Don't get him wrong, he understands when you're pushing him away because you want attention. There is a distinct difference even though it may be unnoticeable and irrational to the normal person.

Yves would stay with his arms crossed, waiting for you to give in and admit that you're acting standoffish because you thought he was going to leave you. Of course, he would reassure that he wouldn't and that he loves you more than anything in the world. Then, he would give you a light scolding for your behavior.

He isn't doing it to embarrass you. Yves is doing that in hopes of eradicating any thoughts pertaining to Yves being incapable of loving you at your worst.

Yves would do anything for you if you asked nicely, you're going to get told off if you're rude. It's not like you would be mean to him anyways, since he ensures that you're always in a good mood.

However, if you're staying away from him, you are expected to be lethargic and irritable. He doesn't have his intricate system fitted into your current address, but it doesn't mean he can't control the temperature, light, humidity and even pressure of your room.

You're definitely noticing that you're having your period, but your mood always greatly improves if Yves is around. Maybe it's because he does all the chores for you, your way without asking. He seems to know your personal system, nothing he does will ever be "wrong" in your eyes. He cooks your meals the way you like it, Yves puts everything back to its original place.

Maybe you would have to endure some nagging if the placement of your items doesn't make sense (eg. Storing canned food in your bathroom drawer), but otherwise, he is compliant to your standards. It is your home, after all.

You would not have to be embarrassed when he handwashes everything stained with your blood, separate from your other clothes. He enjoys taking care of you and would be visibly upset if you take that joy away from him.

Yves knows your favourite brand of sanitary products. He understands why, you probably liked its texture, its durability, the fragrance or lack thereof, the size and shape. It's important because in the case where the brand was discontinued, he could easily find a replacement that is equally perfect for you.

He has a section in his information vault reserved for your menstruation cycle. It contains all possible records of your symptoms, the factors that may be affecting said symptoms, the length of the cycle, your discharges and microbial compositions, lab results of your blood, even some used pads and tampons. But they're preserved safely and neatly with appropriate labels.

His collection is extensive, Yves even has swabs of the pus from pimples during your period, swabs of your skin, sweat and other somatic samples. Photographs of your face and body, allowing him to discern if there were any differences if you were at that time of the month or not. Recordings of your voice, reports of your breathing, twitching, heart rate, blood composition and toilet habits. Digital copies of your internet activities when you're suffering from different blood flows, studies regarding the menstrual cycle and so on.

Yves knows how you smell before each phase of the cycle. He puts his degree in chemical perfumery to good use, creating fragrances that are an amplified version of your scents so he has something to refer to. Yves would be alarmed when you smell completely different from his reference materials because that usually spells impending illness. And he is never wrong.

The smell doesn't necessarily mean the odor coming from your groin. It's the scent he detects standing six feet or closer to you. Your hair, your sweat, your skin, your breath, etcetera.

All this time, you simply thought he was a very attentive boyfriend or husband. You never wish he would go away while you're suffering with your period. He always knows what to say, how to say it and what to do. If only you knew the full extent of his research...

Montgomery on the other hand, he is panicking every month when you bled through the sheets, thinking that you're in excruciating pain.

It's clear as to why, because the women of his family have severe cramps and would be put out of commission during menstruation. An inherited curse. Coupled with the sight of heavy blood flow, the men in his family understand that it's not a walk in the park to have a uterus.

You're lucky that he's mostly occupied with work, or else he would have forced you to be bed bound. No cooking, no going to work, no going to the toilet without him (you could faint and hit your head!), no walking around and straining yourself in any way.

He doesn't get how not all people react the same way to their periods, sometimes Montgomery would be reduced to tears if he knows you're doing his chores while on your period, babbling about how you shouldn't torture yourself for him. Montgomery's insistence that he takes care of you, would annoy you to hell. Especially if his way of caretaking doesn't align to your idea of comfort.

Montgomery would look like you lost your mind if you asked for period sex. That is like asking to fuck an open wound in his dear spouse: insane, cruel and dangerous. It's one of the few instances where he would say no to sex.

Montgomery wouldn't ask which to get, because he will get one of each. He will bring it back home and will continue to buy the ones you liked. You better remind him which brand and size, because if he forgot, he is going to buy the entire aisle off.

He is susceptible to marketing tactics employed by companies that use periods as an advertisement tool. For example, if he happens to look up from shovelling dirt all day, wiping his brow and sees a gigantic billboard telling him that a notebook is all it takes to soothe period cramps, that will be the first thing he buys for you that day.

Anything to alleviate your period pain, his poor sweetheart must be under so much pain, and it kills Montgomery that he can't take the hurt away.

He may not be helpful at times, but Montgomery means well.

[pedroshotwifey]

Christmas Countdown Day 24 - Joel Miller

Make You Mine

Pairing: DBF!Joel Miller x afab!reader

Word count: 884

Tags/Warnings: Fluff, smutty themes, implied piv, sexual themes, implied age gap, insinuations of marriage, daddy kink (like once at the end), Joel spoiling reader, secret relationship, stuff im forgetting

Summary: You and Joel finally get a second to yourself after you arrive home from college

A/N: This is all over the place lmao. Super sweet but also very hot. Also, this marks the end of my first ever challenge!! I can't believe I stuck with it and got everything out on its designated day, but here we are! Kinda proud tbh. Thank you all for reading!

***

Your panties are unbelievably wet. 

You’ve endured almost an entire night of stolen glances from your father’s best friend. Silent but hungry looks have been passed discretely throughout dinner, gifts, and now whilst you watch a movie, sat in the living room with Joel and your parents. 

You’re back from college for the holidays again, and since you’ve been in town, there hasn’t been a single chance for you and Joel to reconvene. 

It’s been a long few months of facetime calls, late night texts, and self-provided orgasms. And now that you’re back within reach, the sexual tension is thick in the air between you. Your parents are oblivious as usual, of course.

The two of you stare at each other now, not bothering to hide your want as your parents keep their eyes glued to the TV. His expression is dark, full of lust and frustration. All you can think about is how much more delicious that’s going to make things once he does get a chance to pound you into your bed. 

You glance toward your parents, finding that your father is already asleep, and that your mother is almost there herself. Joel sees the slip of your eyes, and knows what you’re thinking immediately. Once they’re both out, the two of you are free to do whatever you’d like. 

Another minute of fucking eachother with your eyes, and two sets of faint snoring come from the couch. You smirk, jumping up from your seat to race up the stairs before Joel gets the chance to catch you. 

You can practically see the look on his face as he bounds after you, being as silent as he can as he chases you to your room. He catches you just as you're slipping through your doorway, shoving you into the room and closing the door behind him.

You’re crushed against the wall, his lips on yours as his hands roam your body before you can take a breath. His tongue slips into your mouth, and you welcome it with a moan as you tangle it with yours. 

Reluctantly, you separate after there is no breath left to be shared between the two of you. You’re both panting as you stare deep into each other’s eyes. 

“Hope you know how goddam much I missed you, darlin’,” Joel breaks the silence, resting his forehead against yours. 

“Can’t be near as much as I missed you,” you say, winded. 

Joel huffs a laugh and brings his hands up to gently cup your cheeks, kissing you tenderly now. Your hands come up to grasp at his wrists as you tilt your head up for him, moving your lips against his. 

“Doubt that,” he argues when he pulls away. You roll your eyes playfully at him, a dorky smile adorning your face just from being alone with him again. Every second you get with him feels like a dream. 

“Got you somethin’ else,” Joel whispers. 

You smile wider. He never fails to spoil you. 

His hands slide from your cheeks to dig in his jeans pocket, pulling out a small velvet box. You gasp, recognising the Tiffany logo on the top. 

“Joel, you better not have spent too mu–”

“You’re worth every damn penny to my name and more, baby. Don’t you forget that.” 

He places the box into your hand before you get a chance to respond, and you glance up at him one more time before flipping it open. Inside is the most beautiful necklace you’ve ever laid eyes on. 

It’s a circular pendant, adorned with diamonds. A leafy embellishment curves up at the bottom of the circle, also covered in the gem. It’s delicate, sparkling slightly in the moonlight provided by the small window. 

“It’s gorgeous, Joel,” you say truthfully, tearing up without realizing. 

“Should suit you well then, baby,” he tells you, placing a kiss on your forehead. “‘M glad you like it.” 

You lean up to capture his lips in another lingering kiss. 

“Hope you know what I mean when I give this to you, sweetheart.” 

And you do. Painfully so. He knows it by the way you look up at him, eyes soft with love and aching with desire.

“When the time is right, I’ll make you mine. That’s a promise, angel.” 

You sniffle at him, nodding as you place the box on the dresser next to you before slinging your arms around him. 

“I love you so much, Joel,” you whisper. 

“I love you too, honey. More than you could ever know.” 

The two of you embrace each other in silence, content to each other tenderly. Until you tip your head to nibble slightly on his ear. 

Now that you have the chance, you’re going to thank this man for all he does until he can’t stand. He hisses as you suck on his lobe, his hand traveling down to squeeze a globe of your ass. 

You part from him, leaving hot kisses as you pull away. Your hands find the hem of your dress, and you pull it over your head as you watch Joel smirk, the bulge in his jeans growing rapidly. 

He starts to work at his belt, the metallic sound music to your ears.

“Now get on the bed, darlin’. Daddy’s gonna fuck you to next Christmas.” 

*** Thank you for reading! Please consider interacting if you enjoyed this fic!

WCC: @amyispxnk @melaninmommy @brittmb115 @mandoalorian @yorksgirl (Lmk if y'all want to join my general taglist <3)

Link to prompt list

[senseofnewness]

thinking ab toxic relationship w patrick cause i love angst. like yeah he's ur bf but he's constantly checking out other girls and telling u about them too . but like its ok and u forgive him cause you're really really in love with him(i love pathetic reader tbh)

like he just does. the shittiest things ever. but u always forgive him :((((

i need more therapy than i already have because i would die for this

listen

There was no doubt that you loved Patrick, you always had. But the present was not the past and things weren't like they used to.

In the beginning, when your eyes first locked, an unstoppable force drew you together. The attraction was raw, almost animalistic, a primal hunger neither of you had experienced before. You had craved him like you had never craved anyone before. And so you had him, in the club's bathroom, in the back seat of his car, in every room of your apartment. His taste lingered on your tongue, a constant reminder of the brief minutes that separated each fervent encounter. The thrill of exploring each other's bodies for the first time was intensified by the secrecy, the illicit affair that shadowed every touch. Patrick had someone waiting for him at home, a girlfriend who unknowingly played a major role in the dampness between your legs. There was a thrilling excitement in knowing that he had a woman who could meet his needs, yet he still desired you above all.

But everything had changed when she had found out about you and dumped his ass.

For Patrick, asking you out was a natural progression, born from the countless hours spent in post-coital bliss, dreaming and discussing a future together. He savored every moment by your side, loving the fact that you were so willing to please him in anyway. His little toy to play with.

'Once a cheater, always a cheater. Good luck, bitch.' She had sent you. You ignored it. It was different with you, it was love.

Now the fire that once defined your relationship had dulled. Life got in the way. With work consuming your time, you could no longer join him on tour and let him release his frustrations on you. Though he always returned to you, things had changed. You sensed you were no longer enough, unable to meet all his needs. It began with casual comments about girls he met : how pretty and fun they were. Then he started mentioning how firm their asses were and how plump their breasts felt. That was where you had drawn the line. You had screamed and cried, and he had apologized, his head between your legs, whispering polished words about how you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. And how they had nothing on you.

It had only taken a few days for him to get back at it. And you had ignored it because while he was talking about other women, he was still fucking YOU, no one else. And if he was telling you about it, it meant that he wasn't hiding anything.

Then you had caught him smirking at his phone, the same smirk that had first captivated you across the club. You had to know what lay behind it. Once he had fallen asleep, you had taken his phone and discovered hundreds of sexts. Furious, you had slapped him awake. He had apologized, claiming it had been only words, insisting he had been faithful to you. It had just been a way to keep himself occupied when you were away, a distraction from his loneliness. He had sworn he could never fuck another pussy than yours.

Until he could. One day, he had managed to persuade you to invite over that ball girl he had been talking to you about. The one with the nice thighs. It had ended up in bed. Despite not being into girls, you had said yes because as long as you were present, it wasn't cheating. So you had obliged, watching him slam himself balls deep into another girl while she pleasured you. You had detested the sensation between your legs and resented the feeling in your guts. Eventually, you had excused yourself to the bathroom to throw up. There you had burst into tears while hearing their moans through the door. He sounded the same when he was with you and it crushed you. When she had left, he had whispered repeatedly in your ear how much he loved you and how no one could ever be as perfect for him as you. You hated how those tender moments seemed to justify all the pain. A part of Patrick, however flawed, felt infinitely better than a life without him. It was all worth it.

He had done it again. With another girl. Except now you weren't really involved anymore. You knew he had fucked every tight little cunt he had encountered and wasn't even hiding it. Each time he returned to your arms, he reeked of sex, his body still marked by the traces of another encounter, the scent of swear clinging to his skin and the remnants of another girl's juices matted in his pubic hair. You had cried once more, but he had dismissed your fears as paranoia. When you threatened to leave, he had promised to change, to be faithful, vowing never to make you cry again. For a moment, you wondered whether he found solace in manipulating and humiliating you. Then, a reassuring thought crossed your mind : he was your Patrick, and he would never intentionally hurt you.

But he did, when after fucking you, he had asked you :

"I think we should have an open relationship, what do you think?"

Was the guilt consuming him from the inside? Did he suffer from his lies as much as you did?

"I'd do anything for you." You hated yourself for it. You could feel yourself completely fade. You were now only the woman Patrick wanted you to be.

Except you would never let another man fuck you, you belonged to him only.

But now, at least, he wasn't technically cheating on you.

[not-goldy]

Right now there are some tkk left confused. Some left after Paris, some have been barely hanging on. Even saw some saying what Tae did with JK with the face time shirtless screenshot, actually mad them angry because now they feel Tae is gaslighting them or trolling them, esp since its all but confirmed he was in fact dating Jennie for 2 years. Coming to terms with things isn't easy or instant. It takes time. You don't have to switch from Tk to Jikook and accept Jikook is real now. What you can do is set yourself on your own path, away from the major big TK accounts still gaslighting you and making hella money off you. You say, well they aren't leaving and staying for a reason, maybe they do know things about TK. OR maybe its more like, why would they leave, even if Taekook is not real, cause you give them clout, money, attention and exposure. They ain't leaving when you do that, but you can.

The 5 big tk accounts who always end up on report accounts and you know who they are. Start with reporting these accounts and help them get taken down. Or better yet, take a stand against them and speak your peace to them. You earned the right. Do you honestly, deep down really think Jikook did this because there were no other choices? Come on. Don't do that to yourself. You've been corrected by Karmy who actually speak Jk's language on what he wanted to do and the reality is, it wouldn't have been where Tae is. And Tats didn't prevent him for being with Tae, cause Tae could have scarified and did this with Jk and went with him and you know this. This isn't a case of Jk will transfer to be with Tae after 5 weeks. You also know that is not gonna happen, it would defeat the whole point of what Jk did enlisting through buddy system. I am speaking to you like a rational adult. Like a human. Don't let these accounts who have gaslit you and made money off you, continue to lead you down a path of thinking Taekook are real and dating and Jimin and Hybe are villains keeping them apart and after military Tk are gonna come out and announce they are married with 2 adopted children. (TBH, you should have reported that grumpy tkk woman the day she said this, cause you know that is not sane. Its actually defamation, slander and mental illness) that you went alone with. You know Jk is a capable adult. You wanna say, well he liked a taekook tiktok. And honey he is the creator of GCF Tokyo, the biggest Jikook edit with a queer love song. He might have liked a TK tiktok edit, like he did a Jinkook edit, but he went with Jimin to Japan for 5 days right before enlisting. Sorry, to me that holds more significance. Saying Tae showed them shirtless was sending a message. They were also in sperate houses, talking and Vmin also said they video call shirtless, so there's that. Not to mention Jikook were standing next to each other on their private vacation with arm around their naked torso, in Jk's bday post pic from Jimin. The word T O G E T H E R, not separate houses. Don't do this to yourself and do the compare game, it won't work out for you. Do yourself a favor and Take what Jikook did with this enlistment as a reminder, to never let anyone else tell you what to feel or think, cause Taekook lives is telling you Jikook are not close, but Jikook are showing you different. Think for yourself. Or, wait around and keep holding on and let the fall be so bad, you will never recover from it. That is a scary thought to live with. If you think Paris was a bad fall, you wait for Jikook out of the Military. This was your warning shot from jikook. Your way as an out for good. Their way of telling you nothing will ever stop them from prioritizing each other and best believe they gonna show you when they get out. I would listen to them, if it were me and not someone gaslighting me to make money off me. Choice is yours.

💜💜💜💜💜💜

[the-bonfires-ember]

ive been thinking about that thing people say about mental illness. yknow, 'its not a part of your personality' 'dont make it your identity' etc

but when you have a personality disorder, that doesnt really make sense anymore.

which makes my feelings on cluster b pride flags a little conflicted. coz, sure, it is fundamentally a part of your personality and certainly shapes your identity, but something about pride flags has always been off to me. perhaps especially as a person with aspd.

now, sure, on the one hand i get it. theres something appealing about having that kind of validation that you arent alone, especially when you are constantly masking and shifting who you are to fit the situation best.

we might have antisocial personality disorder but we are still, at our core, social creatures. we still desire community, we're just also afraid of it.

so yeah, a banner of community and others 'like us' seems fair enough, right?

BUT

theres still something... off to me about it. what it was, exactly, only came to me after a discussion with my partner about DID and PluralKit - yeah i know, im diving into plural drama now, lfg i guess

they showed me an infographic about the process of DID recovery which showed the progression from very disconnected and separated identities to a more blended 'final fusion' (a term they take issue with but thats a different story). i said that PluralKit must be confusing for people on the later ends of the spectrum they were showing me because, at that point, how do you tell who is blending with who? when the lines are blurry, how do you know who to tag yourself as? it seemed like an inhibitor to recovery if you were constantly cutting yourselves off from each other. (this is not me saying anything one way or the other about plurals and recovery in DID or whatever the fuck else, im just using this as an example. stfu i dont care about your opinions on any of this so dont waste your breath)

i think my feelings on aspd flags is somewhat similar. coz i mean, they are pride flags, right? and i think if you are taking pride in being aspd then you are far more likely to lean into your symptoms, and i think thats a slippery slope to go down and has just a very 'anti-recovery' vibe, if you know what i mean.

with that all said, i also very much think that if you dont want to recover, you dont have to. i dont think you can force anyone to recover and i dont think you should even try to. recovery is fucking shit and its hard and if you arent ready for it, you are just going to hurt whoever you are trying to make recover.

but i also think that you can have that opinion, whilst also being a voice for recovery, and be against 'anti-recovery' thinking.

because look, like it or not aspd is a fucking disorder. and at some point that becomes unhelpful or it wouldnt be a disorder. symptoms of aspd are debilitating and pretending otherwise that helps nobody. especially with all the 'all pwASPD are evil' scum out there.

so yes, i think the pride flags are... unhelpful at best and harmful at worst. but what about the other stuff? the creatures alla tbh creature and the plushiedreadful rabbit? (i think both of those designs suck btw but thats not the point)

idk those feel like they are in a different category. theres not really a sense of pride in those, more a sense of comfort. again, community, but also a sort of softness(??) that the pride flag things seem to miss - especially when they are like 'vampire aspd' or 'evil aspd' or any of the other bullshit things ive seen out there. i guess they are also just way more 'mental illness' coded than pride flags are.

pride flags have always been a 'we're here and theres nothing wrong with us' kind of thing. but the creatures and the bears are more lighthearted and sort of making fun of the conditions a little bit. highlighting symptoms and coping mechanisms. just look at the imocreature - specifically the worm one which is my favourite - and the way its able to be so pathetic looking and cute. its not meant to be cool or badass or whatever else, its just a lil guy that gets sad without supply.

which, yknow, relatable.