#i think its just easier to think about fun stuff from the past than stuff im looking forward to cause waiting sucks

[fruitsyrups]

hi guys. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. sorry i just thought about the passage of time

[paper-mario-wiki]

I have a genuine question, and I ask because as a follower, I admire your reasoning in most things! But I, like yourself, have criticized white rappers and the culture which values them. But I find it confusing that you do the same, while also writing and performing rap as a white girl. I'm curious about your reasoning! Is it because you don't really seek acclaim, or publish your stuff for any purpose other than just to make it? Would you say it's that you don't seek compensation or recognition? Or is it some totally different reason??

i think it comes down to how specifically you're looking at the issue.

the problem doesn't start and stop at "white people shouldn't rap because rap isn't for white people."

it's more along the lines of "the western entertainment industry at large has long enforced white colonialist ideals at its very foundation which puts white people at the top of the social ladder, making it significantly easier for them to become noticed and rewarded for being somewhat competent. for the past 30 years especially, people have been using imagery and themes originating from hip-hop culture to promote themselves with no regard for its history as a black art form. this leaves the actual black artists who create and uphold this artform underserved, underrewarded, underrecognized, underpaid, and sometimes straight up dead. and the crackers keep making money anyway."

so a couple things i decided before starting posting rap were:

i do not want to Be A Rapper, and im not going to try and become a rapper. there are plenty of white rappers already. im just a white writer who likes to rap. it's fun. if someone wants to buy a song i wrote off my bandcamp fine, if someone wants to collaborate with me that's awesome!-- but im not going to pursue this as any sort of financial opportunity.

im going to be fully honest with what i write, and how i write it. im going to avoid co-opting language that doesn't come to me naturally, and im going to avoid writing about a version of myself that does not exist. honesty is one of the most beautiful parts of my favorite raps anyway.

[cer-rata]

An incomplete but very angry diatribe about the missed potential of the Star Sapphires

So back in the day Geoff Johns and co decided to open up the Green Lantern mythos and add some more flavor and expand the concept of sci-fi tech powered by elemental emotion to more than just willpower. Which yes, is not an emotion, we ignore it and move on.

Anyway we got some really cool stuff! A rage tyrant fueled by experiencing incredible injustice on a personal and cosmic scale, whose vendetta twisted him into something terrible. An avatar of greed who was never allowed to have anything, not freedom, not family, not safety, who takes and takes and takes to fill a void that can never be satisfied. A priest who lost everything but presses on through his unshakable hope that the future can and will be better. It's a lot of fun stuff!

So in this great creative re-imagining, they had to do something clever and fun with the idea of an all female corps powered by love right? They took the opportunity to move past the purely romantic, sexual idea of love and the obsessed femme fatale archetype, because they had the chance to really explore different types of affection now that there were a bunch of different avatars with different stories to pull from right?

Right?

Nope! The only Sapphires we ever learn about are heartbroken over a cursed romance like Carol, grieving a dead fiance like Miri Riam, forcibly mind controlled to be one like Fatality, or just Miss Bloss who...kind of said she wanted to join up? No clue what her deal is, as far as I'm aware that's never really explained. And then we just never learn about anyone else, and still haven't. The hell is "The Lost Sapphire"? No idea, we'll likely never know.

It's frustrating because not only is this a glaring example of the depth of plotlines offered to women in comics compared to their male counterparts, but also a wild lack of imagination. Love is one of the most complicated emotions we experience. Fear, anger, hope, all pretty easy to quickly define. Love is multifaceted, cultural, incredibly contextual and a factor in so many different kinds of relationship. Just thinking logically it should be much easier to flesh out the motivations of a group pulling from such a nuanced source of power, versus something as clear-cut as rage. But no, the red lanterns got so many varied reasons for their rage, the male ones especially: Bleez being the woman was of course given the SA narrative, which I don't think is inappropriate on its own, that's an incredibly valid reason to be angry, but as the ONLY truly prominent female Red Lantern it's like...c'mon guys. But still, at least she and Atrocitus had different reasons for becoming what they are, and that variation was played for plot and drama.

But there's not a single Star Sapphire that personally champions something other than romantic love. And before you shoot me, it is explicitly mentioned that they DO protect other forms of love, so there's no reason for them to all be sexy and obsessed with kissing people. There are no Sapphires that are driven by:

The love of their children and families, even in a tragic sense, like Atrocitus and Saint Walker and Larfleez are...

Their love of their people, or their culture. It would have been interesting if Fatality was inducted BECAUSE of her pain at losing her world, but no, they just...replaced her anger with lovey vibes and called it a day.

Their love for nature. Not everyone is social, but social love isn't the only way to strongly experience the emotion.

Their love for themselves. Where is the fun narcissistic ass who loves their own self image to the point of getting powers? It would have been a fun twist and a cool way to get another villainous Sapphire if you wanted to.

Their platonic love of ANYTHING really. Are ace/aro people just...not capable of love then? It doesn't mean anything to be willing to drive cross country to help a friend move just because they needed it and you care? No? You need to be fucking for it to count?

It's like...fascinating if you really think about it. In this vast fantasy universe full of alien races with wildly different perceptions and life cycles, and where the other corps have plenty of non-human, truly alien looking members, that the women's only love corps is full of only hot hot scantily clad baddies. Most love that people experience in their lives isn't even romantic! You will have far more experiences with friends and family members and even loving strangers than you will have with romantic partners.

Like the reason is clearly sexism, duh, but we know sexism is bad, that's obvious, what I really want to make clear is how much this blatant, unexplored sexism just completely desecrated the potential of the worldbuilding here.

From another angle even: Let's say this this WAS the sex and romance all the time corps. Let's say that you wanted to keep it all women. I hate the idea that women are capable of love in a way that men aren't, that's such a bad take and just regressive and unhelpful, but let's just play ball for a moment. They're not even hot? Their designs are such ridiculously narrow versions of feminine attractiveness that they're not even successful at really being mass appeal sexy. I haven't even reached the point of complaining about the fatphobia and criminal lack of different body types yet, I'm still just saying that from the standpoint of fantasy sexy it's not even good at being stereotypical offensive fantasy sexy. It's just boring! They're all so visually boring! You can be scantily clad and still have an interesting and coherent character design! But that is not what they gave these women! They actually redesigned the classic Star Sapphire costume and made it MORE sexist and boring:

Yeah it was cheesy but it was also cute and fun? The design is playful classic sci-fi girl and this is when she was still a dangerous unhinged villain. Its fun to look at and feels tonally coherent next to Green Lantern.

And then they just...

No actually, I will not explain this one, you have eyes.

And yeah they fixed her costume finally,

But! She's still stuck as Hal Jordan's romantic punching bag, and has not gotten to have any new adventures on her own.

So.

What I'm saying is it's a flop all around. 2/10, and only because despite everything Fatality STILL managed to serve. I actually think that all of the corps have been poorly used since blackest night, even the greens actually, but they never even gave the Sapphires a chance. They last showed up in...a WW annual I think? During the whole dark gods event, they needed Diana to help them fight the evil god of love, and there was a guy in the corp finally, and they talked about sisterhood and then we haven't heard a peep from them since. I think Carol might be due to get her ring back in the GL ongoing but she's not really been treated well so far, so I'm not hopeful for anything fresh and well reasoned.

So my lovely ladies (and that one unnamed guy), until they let you get it together it may be time to

[lilac-nites]

List of Lolita Resources

Someone in my comm encouraged me to make this list of resources for new lolitas. We were talking about how hard it can be to find information from Google search and there's just so much misinformation out there. I have a list of links that I've bookmarked and read over the past decade for when I finally become a lolita. I organized the list by sections in a specific order. It goes from information about the fashion and then to where to buy it.

To any new lolitas, there is so much information out there about lolita fashion that is still available. Part of the fun for me was researching the fashion, looking at coords, and learning what makes lolita lolita. There's so much information out there for you to immerse yourself in and even more stuff that's not listed in this resource list.

What is Lolita Fashion

Fyeah Lolita - This is my favorite blog and I still go back and read it. The last post was made in 2016 and the fashion has changed a lot since then, but it's pretty comprehensive and provides a good base knowledge. Imo, I think these articles (1 2 3 4) are required reading for anyone entering the fashion Lolita Fashion 101 - Bay Area Kei did several videos on lolita fashion during lockdowns. I recommend them for anyone that prefers video format. Raine Dragon's Lolita 101 series - Raine is a lolita that still updates her blog and has a lot of information on the history of lolita fashion. And she has a really great article on Chinese indie brands that should also be required reading for anyone new to using Taobao.

Costs of Lolita Manufacturing - One of the first things you'll notice is that lolita can be expensive. This resource breaks down the costs associated with manufacturing and why brands charge what they charge.

Substyles of Lolita Fashion

The below links are for the three basic styles of lolita fashion. If you research more, you'll find that there are different directions that you can take your wardrobe, but I recommend starting with one of the three above to make it easier for to build your wardrobe. Classic Lolita Sweet Lolita Gothic Lolita

Where to get Lolita Fashion

Before even buying anything, you will need a tape measure to take your measurements. You'll need to measure your bust, waist, hips, and shoulder width in centimeters. That's how you will find out which clothes will fit you. Sizing can be different from brand to brand and country to country. I know many are used to buying using letter sizes, but it's best to go by actual measurements. Aim to buy clothes that are 4 - 6cm larger than your actual measurements to allow room for breathing/eating/etc. If you're brand new to the fashion, I highly recommend sticking to the sources listed in the videos below. It's very easy to get scammed if you don't know what to look for and I'd hate for anyone to lose their money on barely wearable clothes from Amazon/Ebay/Aliexpress. Where to Buy Lolita FashionHow to shop for Lolita Fashion online - secondhand is life for lolita fashion and there are so many options. PinkFakeFlowers goes in depth into the many ways to get it. I personally recommend 42lolita for anyone looking to buy from Chinese brands on Taobao.

Plus Size Lolita

Unfortunately, many of the Japanese brands and even some Chinese indie brands are not size inclusive. If you can't fit into the mainstream brands, don't worry there are still options. I always recommend Meta since they have a Plus Size and occasionally a Plus Plus size of their dresses and blouses that goes up to 160cm or even 200cm in some releases. Plus Size Lolita Crash Course Where to Start as a Plus Sized Lolita - This is a wonderful resource listing brands that are size inclusive.

Online Spaces for Lolita Fashion

Lolita fashion is pretty spread out now compared to the EGL (still recommend reading livejournal because its a cool time capsule of the lolita comm) days, but there are still groups on Facebook. BSoLF - Great for beginners to ask questions and be helped by others. It's hard to search here but I recommend looking through the group for info. Your Local Comm (if applicable) - most are still on Facebook even if they still have a Discord. You can search for your local one on this list.

More Resources for New Lolitas

Lolita Tips for New Lolitas Three helpful tips for coordinating an outfit Lolita Tips Tumblr - I don't recommend Fanplusfriend anymore, but 42lolita is a good replacement. This tumblr is a great resource for inspo and there are many answered asks to reference. Unfortunately, polyvore is no longer a thing and many pictures are missing as a result.

Bonus

These are just a mishmash of links to resources/lists/blog that I like. Lolita Collective

Lolita youtubers ask

Lolita tumblrs ask 20dollarlolita and her post on replicas

More plus size lolita brands ask Japanese Wikipedia entry for Lolita fashion and list of brands

Azuki Mikan

Buttcape

Old School Lolita

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Chapter 15

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

Ale ran around the lawn of Crown Castle’s gardens, his fluffy fur similar to freshly-baked sponge cake flowing with his movement.

Kate: The weather is nice and it’s fun running around with Ale.

Ellis: Hehe, it is fun. Kate’s happy face is cute.

Liam: Since Kate and Ale came, we’ve had more time for stuff like this.

Ellis: Yeah, you’re right.

(Ever since I’ve started helping out with looking after Ale, I’ve naturally been able to spend more time with everyone outside of missions)

When I squinted at the bright sunlight, I caught a figure through a window.

(Ah, Roger!)

When our eyes met, I waved at him in his room.

(...I hope I’m not making some kind of face. Am I smile naturally?)

(Ah, but he could hear my heartbeat from there if he wanted to…Calm down, calm down)

I acted as if everything was the same as usual, but my mind was full of memories from last night.

~~ Flashback ~~

Kate: If I were to fall in love, then I’d want us to fall together.

Because of that, I won’t ever confess that I like you until you believe that love exists.

~~ End flashback ~~

(I did pretty much just admit that I liked Roger)

By the time I noticed how the drug named Roger made its way into my body, it was already too late.

However…it didn’t matter how much I liked Roger if it was unrequited.

(Yeah. I want Roger to like me back)

Kate: …Looks like I’m more selfish than I thought.

Liam: Hehe, you’re talking out loud. Is it about Roger?

Kate: …How did you know?

Liam: If anyone didn’t, then they’re seriously ill. They should be sent to a hospital for being so clueless.

(I guess it’s that obvious…)

I looked away in embarrassment and Liam smiled beautifully like a rose.

Kate: I boasted that I’d be able to teach him about romantic love, but ended up falling for him…I’m so frustrated and embarrassed.

I don’t know why I can freely admit my feelings to anyone but Roger himself.

Liam: It can’t be helped. The human heart’s the most unpredictable thing in the world. It’d be so much easier if your heart followed your brain.

Liam’s eyes were downcast as he smiled. It felt like he wanted to abandon everything, like he was touching death’s fingers.

~~ Flashback ~~

Roger: Would it be good or evil to make curses disappear from this world?

You don’t have to answer me now. When it comes to you, let me know.

~~ End flashback ~~

(...The more I learned about the Cursed, the less I was able to answer the question)

Alec and Roger’s past, Lance’s death, Ellis who was next handed the Briar Bushes curse, and Liam before me.

(Values change so rapidly that it’s puzzling)

(But I shouldn’t stop thinking about it)

Liam: I’d like to see it. Roger being so smitten with you, I mean.

I’d like to see it too.

I hope it happens.

I’ll do my best. +4 +4

Kate: Then I’ll do my best!

Liam: Yeah, that’s the spirit. Unlike me, Roger’s a rational one. That’s why it’d be interesting to see someone like him be madly in love.

Kate: Hehe, was that a wicked look just now?

Liam: I’m cursed with being led by my own curiosity. So you’ll have to excuse my wicked interest.

(I don’t know if you can make curses disappear)

(I wonder if that’s a good thing. However…)

Kate: I promise when Roger’s smitten with me, I’ll let you know.

Sometimes it’s the small promises that are important to live for.

Liam: I’m looking forward to it.

As I smiled back at Liam, Ale and Ellis came back from playing.

(Ah, that’s right)

Kate: Um, do you know a place where I can get some beautiful flowers? I thought you two would be familiar with what’s popular.

Liam: Of course, but are they a present for someone?

Kate: You heard about how a Cursed One named Lance died the other day, right? I heard he was buried at a public cemetery and wanted to go leave some flowers.

(Lance won’t ever come back…so I hope he can rest peacefully)

Ellis: Then how about sharing the flowers from Victor’s garden? He grows flowers as a hobby. I saw him walking around with flowers this morning and I’m sure he’ll share them if you ask.

Kate: Hehe, I wasn’t aware. I’ll go ask him then.

Liam: That’s fine, but I’m worried about you going to the cemetery all by yourself. Lately, young people have been getting attacked or going missing.

Ellis: Do you mean the incidents Victor and Will are investigating?

(I do remember the barkeep saying something like that)

Unfortunately these incidents weren’t uncommon in Britain given its large population.

There is as much darkness as there are people.

(It could be related to how the girl Lance liked was killed)

Liam: I wish I could go with you but I have rehearsal…

Ellis: Sorry. I have work at Jude’s company.

Liam: Ah, Harrison might be free this afternoon.

Kate: I can’t be a bother to everyone! I’ll be fine going alone. I’ll just take Crown’s carriage to the cemetery and come back before it gets dark.

Liam: Oh? Then I guess we don’t need to worry too much.

Ale: Arf arf.

Kate: Ah, seems like Ale will be coming with me.

Ellis: Then take care of Kate, Ale.

Ale: Woof.

--

Victor had gladly shared his flowers with me and now Ale and I were being rocked around in a carriage.

When I glanced out the window, the carriage stopped not too far from the cemetery.

(Huh? But the cemetery’s still a bit of a ways down)

The coachman got off his seat, opened the door, and signed to me.

(“The road ahead…is too narrow for a carriage to take to the cemetery…”)

I somehow managed to read the sign language that I had just recently learned and tore a page out of my notebook to write a reply.

“Thank you. Please wait here, I’ll be back soon.”

I passed the paper to the coachman and alighted the carriage.

--

The sky started turning red as dusk approached.

(The cemetery’s really close. I’ll be in and out in no time)

We walked down the path leading to the cemetery.

For a while, the only sound was the grass being blown by the wind until— 

Ale: Arf arf arf.

Ale, who was walking ahead of me, suddenly turned and started barking.

Kate: Ale, what’s…

The bouquet fell from my arms.

I felt a cloth smelling like chemicals press against my nose and lost consciousness— 

--

Elbert: …

Elbert wandered around the castle looking for something, his face paler than ever.

Then—

Roger: Yo, El. Have you seen the ‘lil lady around? I wanted to get her to do some work for me, but haven’t seen her for a while.

Having found who he was looking for, Elbert rushed over to Roger.

Elbert: Roger. Listen to me calmly. It’s possible that Kate was kidnapped.

Roger: Kate? What do you mean?

Ellis: What you just said, is it true…?

They turned around and saw Jude and Ellis who had just come back from work.

Jude: The princess got kidnapped? By who?

Elbert: I’m not sure. Earlier in the garden, a coachman came up to me looking terribly disturbed. He said that he dropped Kate off not far from the cemetery, but no matter how long he waited, she never came back. He went to go look for her, but only found Ale. Here, he gave me this.

He handed Roger a piece of paper with “I’ll be back soon” written in Kate’s handwriting.

Roger: …

Ellis: Kate wanted to go leave flowers on the grave of the Cursed One who passed a few days ago. She said she’d take a carriage and be back before sundown, so she’d be fine.

Jude: That’s Saint Cemetery. Got a road so narrow that carriages pass through. Somethin’ must’ve the moment she got out.

Elbert: We don’t know what happened, but we can’t waste any time. What do we do, Roger?

Roger: …

There was nothing reflected in Roger’s eyes.

Elbert: …Roger?

Elbert waved his hand in front of Roger’s face and the latter blinked in surprise.

Roger: …

Ellis: Roger, are you okay?

Roger: Yeah…sorry. Just…a little shaken.

Elbert and Ellis: …(°ロ°)

Roger took a deep breath as if to calm himself, eyes now focused.

Roger: This likely has something to do with the recent incidents. Let’s tell Victor first and then gather the rest of Crown.

--

When news of Kate’s disappearance broke, all of Crown assembled.

Victor: Her Majesty gathers information from the masses. If Kate was kidnapped, then it’s believed to be related to the incidents.

Ellis: …So it is related to the incidents targeting young people. But why?

Jude: Human traffickin’, kidnappin’, murder for fun, there’s all sorts of reasons.

Victor: As you’re aware, Will and I have been looking into the culprit. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to identify them yet. However, based on where the victims have gone missing, we’ve been able to identify possible bases.

He spread a map of London out on the table.

Four areas were circled in red—

Victor: If Kate was kidnapped, she could be in any of these locations.

Roger: …

Victor: We don’t have time to waste. Crown will split into four teams and search each location.

Jude: I’ll be collectin’ a huge reward when I find the princess.

--

Jude: You’re up, ya dumb dog. Lead us to our dumb Fairytale Keeper.

Roger: Ale, I’m counting on you.

Ale: Woof.

A team of Roger, Jude, and Ale boarded a carriage and were now passing through a dense forest.

— Suddenly, the piercing sound of horses neighing was heard and the carriage screeched to a stop.

Roger: What the…?

Nica: Wie geht es dir (How do you do), Crown? Pardon me.

There was a polite knock on the carriage door and one of “Vogel’s” twins boarded the carriage.

Roger: You…

Nica: I just saw the Queen’s aide looking pale*. I heard Robin has gone missing?

Roger: If you already know, then get out. We don’t have time for you.

Nica: Don’t want to. Did the good doctor forget that we’re here to deepen our friendship? I’m telling you I’ll help you. I might be of some use?

Jude: …Oi, quack. We gotta move.

Roger: If you don’t wanna get kicked out then behave, older twin.

Nica: Allerdings (Of course), I’ll behave.

The carriage started moving again— 

Only Nica was happily petting Ale in his lap, as if he were on his way to a holiday resort.

His POV | Next

-

*Alternatively, red with anger. 血相を変えた was used, which in a literal sense, means ‘to change facial expression or color’. It’s contextual and in this case, Victor could be either.

[clownmoontoon]

HEYO LOVELIES!! \OUO/ <3<3<3!!! ive been itching to try a new art schedule i came up with so i dont end up drawing one character for two years straight again LMAO not that theres anything wrong w that ofc! its been fun! ;u; theres just SO MUCH on my "to draw" list im excited for and wanna get to work on and i think thisll not only make it easier for me, itll make it more fun for YOU! :D and to add a bit more consistency to my posting so its not 10 posts in a week and then months of nothing LMAO HELP from now on ill be posting on...

i may be working on a long form comic or animatic etc stuff that probably cant be finished to my liking in a week's time so the wednesday posts may be new photosets/edits etc of past art! either way ill be posting on wednesdays and following this schedule for my art from now on til i focus in on one of my specific stories! ((this doesnt impact how i reblog here or post to my patreon btw this is just for my art posting here specifically! ^^))

AND THE SCHEDULE WILL LOOK LIKE THIS! \OUO/

🤡MOON!! - anything off my draw list that stars my mascot, sona and fave oc MOON !! you've prob seen this rainbow, twintailed, fangy nonbinary clown monster around my blog at some point GET READY FOR MORE!! COMICS AND LORE AND ILLUSTRATIONS!! ITS CLOWN TIME BBY!! >:oD

🌈FANART - my fanart list is a MILE LONG LMAO and im so excited to dig into it!! lots of mini comics, long form comics, animatics and one off pieces scripted and planned!!! also if u followed me for a specific fandom chances are theres LOTS more of that coming!! theres so much on my list that, even after the hyperfixation passed, im like YEAH I STILL WANNA DRAW THAT

😈OC (not moon lol) - its about time i show off my other ocs who have been a bit neglected by me artwise ^^; I THINK ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME THO!! HONEST!! AND IM SO EXCITED TO FINALLY SHARE THEM AND THEIR STORIES W ALL OF YOU!! \QVQ/

🌈FANART (diff from prev!) - to keep myself from drawing for the same piece of media over n over in a row THIS fanart will be from a different piece of media than the last one i drew!! if i have multiple small ideas i wanna get out fast i may throw them all into one ⭐️Super Post⭐️ with illustrations and comics all contained! this isnt to say i will never do same media fanart again ofc, just not back to back!

AND THEN I !!!

I START BACK AT MOON! :o) im sO SUPER EXCITED TO GET INTO THIS LIST AND IM ALREADY TWO POSTS IN!! WOO!! LETS GOOO!!! RAAAHHH!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

LOVE U GUYS!!! \QUQ/ THANK U ALL SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT THUS FAR!! I HOPE U LOOK FORWARD TO ALL THE NEW STUFFS!! <3<3<3!!!

[gaybananabread]

HI HI HI, just noticed that you have ATSV in your fandom list and literally exploded?!???? I’d like to order oranges, bananas and cherries pls!! Ler! Miguel and like Lee!Reader BUT LIKE, the reader is like just a teenager?? Found family trope if you catch my vibe yk

TYSM IF YOU DECIDE TO DO THIS, if ya don’t ITS FINEEE BUT YEAH YEAH <333

Fruit(s): Oranges, Bananas, Cherries

This is a pretty fun idea, don’t get many insert requests! I’m pretty sure you meant the reader to be a spider person, so that’s where I went with it. If not, eeeeeh sorry! Never written for Miguel, so I hope he isn’t too crazy OOC in this. Also, since it wasn’t specified, went gender neutral. A tad angsty because it’s been that kinda week. It’s long because I’m a sucker for found family stuff.. Thank you for the kind words, and I hope you Enjoy!

Lee: Gender Neutral Reader

Ler: Miguel

Summary: You’ve been taking unnecessary risks on missions, trying to show off and impress a certain Spider-Man. It has the opposite effect, only worrying the man and making him question you. After you joke around and play off the danger, he uses a special tactic to make sure you learn your lesson.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

Your life was interesting, to say the least. For the past seven months, you had been your universe’s one and only spider person. That…that was hard. Especially when you had nobody to turn to. Trying to stay in school and keep the city safe was easier said than done, and it was still a mouthful. That stress took its toll on you, and it wasn’t pretty. Long story short, you managed to isolate yourself from everyone who cared.

On one particular night, you were fighting a strange villain you’d never seen before. He…kinda looked like he had a fishbowl on his head; his appearance was cartoonish. Called himself Mysterio. The guy kept yelling about his revenge; how Stark, whoever that was, wronged him. Just another crazy guy. Unfortunately, he was a very powerful crazy guy.

He gave you everything he had. Mists, holograms, hallucinations. You were reeling, struggling to stay in the fight. Mysterio prayed on your anxieties, your fears, your past: everything you had been facing. One thing was painfully clear. 

You couldn’t do it alone.

And that’s when your luck turned. A bright flash of orange and red light broke through the green smoke, someone’s booming voice bringing you back to reality. Glowing red webs popped the hologram devices, a blue-and-red suited man landing a hit square in the fish bowl. 

In a few quick strikes, the fight was over. The man caught your attention with his fighting skills and quick thinking. You could tell he was trying to keep Mysterio away from you. When the fight was over, you rushed over to him, trying to get any information from him. 

He looked you over, having LYLA scan your signature. You were…all alone. Everyone you loved had been shoved away. The man related a bit too closely to that…

Before you could come off as completely desperate, he tossed you a watch and waved you towards an open portal. The rest was history.

The man, Miguel O’Hara, took you under his wing. He was a bit temperamental, but it was clear he cared for you. No matter how many stupid mistakes you made, how many anomalies got the drop on you, he was right there. You definitely grew attached, placing him high on your mantle. You wanted to impress him, though that was more difficult than it seemed. Pushing your limits, you gave every mission your all, even if it put you at risk. You were fine. Just needed to do better.

-

Miguel was concerned. No, scratch that, he was worried and downright anxious for your every move. Why were you taking so many unnecessary risks?! He certainly hadn’t taught you that, though a few names came to mind… Regardless, it was a habit you had to drop.

The mission you went on that day was the last straw. It was a low-grade villain, just an average Kraven. Easy catch-and-send; only you didn’t make it easy. 

Kraven had laid all sorts of traps, though thanks to his brightly-colored universe, they were detectable. At least, they would’ve been if you hadn’t rushed in. In your mind, the quicker you captured him, the more impressed Miguel would be. Bursting into action, you didn’t notice the traps and sprung a flash-bang snare. While you managed to dodge the wire, you were dazed and your spider sense was left reeling. Not good.

Struggling to your feet, you shot out webs in every direction, trying to nail him or at least get a sense of where he was. The flash wasn’t good, though if you still caught him, Miguel would at least be a little impressed. A yelp to your left got you what you needed. As you ran to try and web him up, you stepped on a wire; a wire connected to a high-voltage unit. The sound of the electricity hit your ears before the shock itself. 

-

“What were you thinking?”

The dim lighting of Miguel’s office just made everything twice as intimidating. You had gotten a clean bill of health from the med bay, though it didn’t make you feel any better. It felt like you let him down. When you shrugged, he sighed, running a hand down his face.

“Malditos adolescentes.” He mumbled under his breath, trying to stay calm and collected. Miguel was far from mad, but he was definitely worried, and yeah, a little annoyed that you kept ignoring your training. Still, he knew showing that would only upset you further. “You going to start talking or sit here in silence a little longer? It’s empanada day, and I’d be happier if you came clean.”

You rubbed your arm, remembering the way your nerves lit up from the trap. It was safe to say you were embarrassed to admit the real reason you rushed. “Uh…felt like I needed a little recharge?” Okay, dumb joke, but it’s how you dealt with stuff. How a lot of spider people dealt with stuff.

He huffed, not appreciating your attempt to play off his concern. “Look kid, I’m gonna tell you how it is. You’ve been rushing missions, over exerting yourself, and making risky calls I’ve never seen from you before. Tell me what’s going on with you. I promise I won’t get mad.” His voice softened at the end, his look shifting to one of concern and worry.

That made you pause. Lying wasn’t going to get you far, and it was really close to lunch… “I…kinda, sorta, maybe wanted to…ya know, i-impress you…” Your voice dropped off at the end as you suddenly found a scuff on the floor incredibly interesting.

“Kid…” Miguel paused, taking a deep breath. “C’mon. You know you don’t have to try and impress me. I just don’t want you making stupid mistakes and getting hurt.” It didn’t take a genius to decipher the look of guilt that went across your face. Miguel thought back to a few weeks ago, when you had gotten a minor side injury. He had bandaged you up and made a rather adorable discovery while doing so. That’d work.

Trying to control his expression, Miguel got closer, sitting beside you on the ledge. Miggy was trying to get better with his people skills, and since he met you,  he was doing good. “Look, burbujita, it’s okay. Get the guilt off your face, try a smile~” 

You understood where he was going with that immediately. You quickly shot out a web, shooting up towards his tall office cieling. He shook his head, a throaty chuckle escaping him before he followed. It was big, but he knew his office better than anyone. Silently, Miguel landed on the cieling, scanning for you.

A place where rebar met the ceiling gave you a place to crouch. You clamped your hand over your mouth, trying to hide any giggles or heavy breaths. Unbeknownst to you, it was the only spot up there like that. He knew exactly where you were.

Miguel crawled over, springing up and grabbing you by the waist. He huffed at your shriek of surprise, carefully dropping back down and sitting you down on one of the ledges. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, sitting beside you and pulling you close. If he hadn’t been planning such silly antics, it would’ve been sweet.

Before you could try to shove him off, you felt five clawed fingers on your side. The arm around your shoulders tightened, blocking any escape routes. “M-miguehehehel?!” Tickling was the last thing you expected; maybe yelling or a two-week probation, but that? And he was so smug about it, too.

“You should really laugh more, kid. That sound? Que lindo…” Miguel raked his claws up and down your side, being extra careful not to scratch you. You twisted and squirmed in his grip, but it was solid; you weren’t going anywhere. “Cohohome ohon! Ihi’m sohohory!”

He clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “None of those apologies. Just stop putting yourself at risk, kid. I’m proud of you for just putting the mask on and going out to fight. You don’t need to overdo it.” Your cheeks reddened at the praise, though you blamed it on the silliness. 

Just when you thought he was done, you felt the claws move to your belly; specifically, he started on your navel. Ignoring your squeal of protest, he dug in. “They really need to make these suits thicker, huh? Great for flexibility, though not too good against wiggling fingers.”

You kicked your feet, squealing and laughing like a little kid. Miguel found it adorable. When he first met you, you were stuck in worries and the unpleasantness of life. It was nice to see you just let loose and laugh, even if it was a little unprofessional. 

He caught the redness of your cheeks, deciding to tease you just a bit further. “You’re so red, kid. Should I start calling you cara rosa?” Feeling your face heat up further, you tried to hide it in his chest. He tugged your shoulder, keeping your red face where he could see it. It was cute.

Wanting to hit one more spot before he quit, Miguel moved to claw at your ribs. He climbed up and down your ribcage, trying to get as many happy giggles out of you as he could. “You gonna stop trying to impress me and just do your best?” 

You nodded, thrashing like a worm on a hook. “Yehehes! Ihi prohohomise!” Miguel chuckled, pinching your side one last time before stopping. He rubbed your back, hugging you close and trying to help you settle down. “Was that so hard?” A small laugh escaped him at the look he received. “Alright, alright, I’m done. If you ever feel like that again, just tell me. I’ll help.”

Right as he stopped talking, a small sound made him smile further. You groaned, hiding your face in your hands. “Guess I tired you out, didn’t I? We should go get you some lunch.” He patted your shoulder with a smirk, standing up and walking to the door. You cursed your stomach’s stupid growl before following, reflecting on everything that had happened to you since you got bit. Living with a man who cares about you, working to keep the spider-verse and all the people within it safe. Yeah, not a bad way to live…

[zedecksiew]

THE BLOGGIES 2023: NOMINATIONS OPEN

If tabletop roleplaying games were a hydra, blogs would definitely be one of its heads.

Probably the smartest, zaniest one? The one with the unexpected ideas; the silliest quips; the most devious schemes; the most profound observations.

The OSR / post-OSR style of play arose on blogs. I was inspired to make roleplaying games because of a blog post (this one, by Patrick Stuart, specifically).

Beyond the actual playing of games with friends, blogs are the most important part of TTRPGs, to me.

+

Last year, Prismatic Wasteland hosted the inaugural Bloggies.

64 excellent posts from across the TTRPG blogosphere were considered. A celebration of our community, our psychic brain-trust---the many heads of this, our TTRPG beast.

All the nominees are worth perusing. Winners list here.

My post, "D&D's Obsession With Taxonomy", won Best Blog Post of 2022. (Thank you, everybody who voted!)

Because I won, it falls to me to host this year's Bloggies.

+

Nominations are now open for the BLOGGIES 2023!

Is there a blogpost about TTRPGs from the past year (December 2022 to December 2023) that you think deserves attention and recognition?

Tell me about it! Drop a link to it, tell me why you like it, tell me which category it falls under:

Theory---broad criticism, observation, and analysis about TTRPGs (its cultures, its aesthetics and texts, its politics, etc);

Gameable---cool stuff (monsters, subsystems, bits of design, etc) you could grab and add to your own games;

Advice---ideas, tricks, and procedures for making your games better / easier / more fun, basically adding to the play-culture;

Review---specific criticism of specific books / games / systems / adventures / products.

Drop your nominations in the comments below, or in this Xwitter thread, or wherever else you can get in touch with me on the Internet. Do this before the end of 31 December 2023.

+

How BLOGGIES 2023 Will Work

Here's how I am thinking of running things:

25 Dec 2023 - 31 Dec 2023: Nominations open!

1 Jan 2024: Nominees shortlist announced!

First week Jan 2024: Public voting for Best Theory Post!

Second week Jan 2024: Public voting for Best Gameable Post!

Third week Jan 2024: Public voting for Best Advice Post!

Fourth week Jan 2024: Public voting for Best Review Post!

First week Feb 2024: Final round of voting for Best Blog Post Of 2023!

"Imperfection is a feature, not a bug, of blogging," as Warren said about the Bloggies, last year. I am but a single person. I will be copying much of his methodology.

I will be whittling down the nominations I receive to a shortlist of 64 posts (16 per category bracket), via personal judgment. No blog will be represented more than once per category---except for reviews (3 posts per blog).

Public voting for each category will happen in four rounds (16 / 8 / 4 / finals). Winners in each category will face off in a four-way vote for Best Blog Post.

Voting will most likely happen on Twitter, same as last year. (I am loathe to do this, but Twitter is still the social-media network most TTRPG people are on, sadly. But am also considering Google Forms. Thoughts?)

Month-long voting gives us the space to celebrate / argue over all the work our community has turned out this year---and gives me time to create prizes. (Am thinking of making linocut prints, inspired by the winning posts.)

Finals being announced in February just before the Lunar New Year justifies the header art above---as the Year of the Rabbit gives way to the Year of the Dragon.

+++

Here we go here we go here we go!

[midnightshard06]

Happy Valentine's day to all who celebrate! For those who don't hope your day was great!

Wanted to try and do this a bit earlier in the day but here we are. Bringing you some art and a fic from this little au thing cause I felt like it. The fic will be below the cut. Enjoy.

Pairing: Sonic/Shadow

Word Count: ~2100 words

You can also check it out on AO3 here!

"Have fun you two!" Tails waved as Sonic led Shadow off.

"We will! See you in a while little bro!" Sonic waved back before gently grabbing Shadow's hand. As he always did he gave the other hedgehog plenty of time to pull away. Though Shadow simply glanced down at their hands before making a soft noise of approval.

Admittedly Sonic was a little nervous. This was the first time he was taking Shadow out on what he would consider a "real date". Sure they'd been out alone plenty of times but all those times Sonic had just been showing Shadow around or teaching him about something. This time though Sonic had specifically chosen a place they'd not only visited before, but that Shadow had actually asked to go back to on several occasions. Those times had been a massive win. Shadow for all his outward confidence actually had a hard time asking for things. No matter how small. An unfortunate byproduct of how he'd been treated on the Ark. The thought of what Shadow had to go through always made his quills bristle; Sonic almost wished he could meet this Gerald guy face to face. Almost. 

Sonic was pulled from his less than positive thoughts as Shadow squeezed his hand, concerned frown on his face. "You ok?" His tail was twitching behind him nervously as he searched Sonic’s face.

"I'm fine Shads." Sonic squeezed the other hedgehog's hand back. "Just thinking about some stuff I don't need to." 

Shadow hummed, not looking entirely pleased by that answer but he didn’t say anything else. Though Shadow did perk up in interest as he seemed to realize where they were going. “The Chao Garden?” Shadow glanced at him, a smile threatening to make its way onto his face.

“Course.” Sonic smiled. “I bet the little guys miss us.” Shadow hummed in agreement. “Wanna race there?” Sonic shot Shadow a challenging look. If there was something he’d learned about Shadow it was that the other hedgehog could get competitive. Honestly Sonic loved that. Sure the two of them could get carried away sometimes, but it felt like in those moments where the two of them were competing that Shadow was truly living. Not being weighed down by his past.

Shadow immediately returned the look. “You’re on.” 

Sonic regrettably had to let go of Shadow’s hand but that was alright, racing was much better anyway. “Three, two, one… go!” They shot off. Of course Sonic would have to pull back a little bit to keep things fair. Sure Shadow was naturally fast, but he’d forgone his air shoes today. They helped Shadow keep up a lot easier. Either way though it was close and Sonic only barely arrived at the entrance to the garden before Shadow. Both were panting slightly but Sonic couldn’t help but smile at the happy look on Shadow’s face. Even if it was quickly replaced with a more neutral expression. “Shall we?” Sonic gestured widely to the garden. Shadow huffed fondly before walking past Sonic.

As soon as the two were far enough into the garden they were swarmed by most of the chao population there. Shadow in particular had always been a big hit with them. Tails thought it had something to do with how much chaos energy Shadow’s body naturally gave off, but Sonic liked to think it was because of how he treated them. Soon enough two chao in particular made their way through the crowd. Sonic happily pat the head of the chao he’d been raising, the dot above the blue creature swiftly changing into a heart. Sonic had to hold in his laugh as Shadow’s chao had decided to plop themself down on Shadow’s head. Though to be fair Shadow didn’t seem very phased by the decision.

Maybe today he could finally get Shadow to agree to take the two chao back with them. Of course Sonic didn’t want to rush the other hedgehog into doing anything, part of the reason he’d waited so long to make any sort of move with Shadow, but he knew the two chao missed the two of them when they left. Sonic could of course take his own home, but he didn’t want to separate them from Shadow’s. Eventually the chao all settled down and most wandered off to do various things.

“Wait here for a sec. I need to grab something.” Sonic placed his chao in front of Shadow. They reached up for him, a frown on their face. “And keep an eye on them so they don’t try to follow me.” Shadow nodded and Sonic sped off to another part of the garden. A part where he’d stashed some stuff earlier. He grinned as he pulled out a small wrapped package and basket. Thankfully it looked like none of the chao had found and messed with it. Just as quickly as he left he was back. Shadow watched him curiously as he placed down what he’d grabbed. At this point Shadow was sitting while their chao played with each other nearby.

Sonic sat down in front of him and held out the wrapped package, a gentle smile on his face. Shadow froze for a moment before carefully taking the package from Sonic. “What is it?” He carefully turned it over in his hands.

“Well, you’ll just have to open it and find out.” Sonic shrugged, smile morphing more into a grin as Shadow shot him an unimpressed look. “Trust me, you’ll like it.” Well he hoped Shadow liked it anyway. It was hard to figure out what the other hedgehog would even like since he almost never talked about anything he wanted. Sonic did his best with what he had though and honestly he thought he’d done pretty good with this one.

After a moment more of staring at the wrapped package, Shadow carefully drug a claw down the wrapping cutting it rather cleanly and peeled the paper away. He stared down at the newly exposed picture frame. It wasn’t anything fancy and the whole thing was small enough to be carried around if desired. A small smile graced Shadow’s face and Sonic knew he’d done good. The second one he was more worried about but hopefully the first one going over well was a good sign. “I always liked that picture of you, me, and Tails.” Sonic hummed. “Even though it wasn’t too long after I found you I think it was the first time I actually got you to smile. Even if it was more out of surprise than anything.” He chuckled as Shadow put the first frame aside. Sonic got a little concerned as the other hedgehog froze once the second frame was revealed.

Sonic knew this one would be a risk, but he liked to think he was reading Shadow’s feelings about this correctly. “How?” Shadow briefly looked up at him, and Sonic wasn’t sure how to read his expression at the moment.

“Me and Tails, uh mostly Tails, did some digging around. Mostly in places that would not be considered public.” Sonic shrugged nervously, grabbing the edge of his scarf to fiddle with. “It was hard since most of anything to do with… the Ark was wiped out but…” He weakly gestured to the frame that Shadow had gone back to staring at. “We managed to find that.”

The silence between them stretched on long enough that their chao had taken notice. Both of them wandered over to their owners and attempted to comfort them. As soon as Sonic was starting to really regret this whole thing Shadow spoke. “Maria…” He looked up at Sonic. He opened his mouth to speak but quickly shook his head, raising his hands instead. ‘Thank you.’ He signed. ‘This way I’ll never forget the one person who made my past bearable.’

All the tension abruptly bled out of Sonic’s body. Ok good, he had been reading things right. That was a relief. “You’re welcome Shads. I’m just glad you like it, heh.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Now then, how about we enjoy something to eat?”

Shadow placed the second frame aside and nodded. “I would like that.”

“So…” Sonic started from his position of leaning comfortably on top of Shadow’s head. “Do you think today is the day we take these little guys home?” Shadow was currently petting his chao and Sonic’s was hovering close to the duo.

Shadow hummed in contemplation. He glanced down at his chao, who glanced back at him happily. Much to his chao’s disappointment he pulled his hand away from their head. ‘Would they be happier to come with us then stay here with the others?’

Well that was progress, it wasn't an outright no this time. "Chao bond real close with their owners." Sonic smiled as his chao reached out for his hand. "Sure they like being around other chao but we're a plenty good substitute." He started to pet his chao's head. "Plus we can always bring them back to visit their friends."

Sonic watched quietly as Shadow's tail moved slowly through the grass. After a while of Sonic waiting and just enjoying their close proximity, a huge step up from Shadow hissing or growling at him whenever he got too close, Shadow nodded. Well nodded as best he could with Sonic there. "Alright." Shadow scratched behind his chao's ear. "I think I'm ready."

Well who would have thought? Sonic was happy not only for the chao, but for Shadow. It had been a long road to help Shadow undo the damage from his past, and they still had a long way to go. This was a good step though, it would be good for Shadow to have something else that loves him unconditionally. Carefully Sonic moved to hug Shadow, and was happy when the other hedgehog let it happen. 

"We have to actually name them now you know." Sonic smiled even though Shadow wouldn't be able to see it.

"... I've never had to name anything before." Shadow frowned slightly.

"Just don't overthink it." Sonic squeezed Shadow briefly. "Just use whatever feels right."

"Do you have a name for yours?" Shadow asked, probably looking for an example.

"Course. I had a name picked out a while ago." Sonic turned to his chao which was watching him curiously. "I officially dub you Azure." The newly named Azure flew around in clear excitement before settling on Sonic's head.

"Azure huh?" Shadow hummed before a look of realization crossed his face. "Wait. Did you name them that because they're blue?"

"Heh… maybe." Sonic chuckled. "Still has a nice ring to it though."

"I suppose." Shadow sighed before looking intently at his own chao. “Gale.” He said after a while of what Sonic suspected was contemplation. Gale made happy noises as they grabbed one of Shadow’s hands with their two smaller ones.

“I think they like it.” Sonic removed his arms from around Shadow and stood up fully to stretch. “Is there a reason for the name or did it just come to you?” Shadow avoided his gaze and that only had Sonic even more curious. If he looked carefully enough he could make out a slight green flush to Shadow’s muzzle. Interesting. It took a lot for Shadow to get flustered. Now he had to know. “C’mon, you know I won’t judge you for whatever reason you have.”

Shadow quietly muttered something that Sonic couldn’t make out before turning to face him. “It’s because of you.” Sonic froze in surprise, mouth hanging open slightly and ears perked up. That had not been what he was expecting honestly, but he made him feel warm. Shadow sighed and raised his hands. ‘You have done a lot for me and I appreciate that. I figured this might be a suitable way to repay your kindness.’

Sonic reigned in his surprise and gave Shadow a wide smile. “I’m glad to know you think so highly of me, but you don’t have to try and repay me like that. Just getting to see you living your life is good enough for me.”

‘If you say so.’ Shadow shrugged before grabbing Gale. ‘The name stays either way.’

“Wouldn’t dream of trying to change your mind.” Sonic grabbed Azure before holding out a hand to help Shadow up. After a moment the other hedgehog took the offered hand. “Well what do you say, good first date?”

Shadow chuckled quietly as Gale flew up to land on his head. ‘The best I’ve ever been on.’

“Why thank yo-” Sonic blinked. “Wait a sec, you haven’t been on any other first dates.” He grinned.

‘It was still the best. I have no need for any others.’ Shadow hesitantly reached out his hand and Sonic happily took it.

“I’ll take that.” Sonic shrugged. “Now then, let’s head home.” It was a good day, and Sonic wouldn’t change a thing about it.

[bluegekk0]

would the adults in the family smoke/drink/take drugs? if not now, what about when their trauma was really bad?

Putting it under a read more because it's long, and because of the subjects mentioned which some may not feel like reading. Warnings for use of alcohol, drugs and sexual topics (I'm adding that last one because it is very relevant to this topic for Grimm specifically)

Grimm and Vyrm drink together from time to time, and sometimes Hornet joins them as well, though she doesn't like the taste of most drinks. Holly and Zote don't drink, as do the kids, naturally (though I imagine there are some non-alcoholic drinks they could sip on). Alcohols like mead and wine are especially popular during town celebrations, and there is also a tavern in the town that Grimm occasionally visits with Vyrm or the Troupe whenever they celebrate a successful performance. I don't think anyone smokes, and when it comes to drugs, there is the substance found in the beasts named Squit, which has some drug-like effects. Vyrm is occasionally under its influence if he ends up hunting for them in Greenpath, and while it can help him relax, it often has an opposite effect and for that reason he rarely consumes it outside of those hunts. Aside from that, I wouldn't say anyone else does any kind of drugs.

---

Now, in the past, things were a lot different for both Grimm and Vyrm. I'll start with Grimm, since he's the one who really experimented with this stuff. I don't think he ever smoked, but he attended many social events and parties where alcohol and other substances were plenty, and he definitely didn't spare himself any of it. He would get drunk and sometimes start fights in taverns for fun, and even during more sophisticated events he liked to drink and mess with everyone if he felt bored. During many of these events he also hooked up with strangers, so very often you'd see him leave the main event and disappear with whomever he wanted to have some fun with. He was definitely a party animal, so it's no surprise that he would drink a lot and do other things.

Things took a different turn after he met Vyrm. He didn't stop attending events and enjoying himself, but he tried to visit Vyrm as often as he could, and as his feelings for him grew stronger and stronger, he found himself thinking more about that than some of his more wild activities. Because of his new focus, he would also drink less. Getting to know Vyrm had an effect on his chaotic life, undoubtedly, he was already slowly in the process of settling down and leaving that life behind, even if he had no guarantee that he'd end up in a relationship with him.

Unfortunately, after Vyrm disappeared, Grimm didn't take it too well. He didn't attend as many parties as he had no energy for them, but he still drank a lot, more than ever, in hopes it would numb the pain of his heartbreak and all of his guilt. It was a period where he indulged in anything that would make him temporarily forget, which for him was primarily alcohol and sexual encounters. Divine and Brumm's intervention helped him from falling completely into the pit of despair, but he still drank a lot whenever he was by himself.

After Vyrm came back, Grimm was able to overcome that habit, certainly made it easier by the fact that he was replacing his physical body periodically (which meant that the effects of his drinking thankfully weren't nearly as destructive as they would be otherwise). Instead of reaching for wine whenever he felt down, he had a partner to find comfort in. He still struggled with the sexual part of his old habits, he would seek that frequently, often just to make himself feel better, which back then made him worry that he only saw Vyrm as another sexual partner. Which, of course, wasn't the case, he truly loved him, it wasn't just sexual attraction. These days, he doesn't deal with those fears nearly as often, he's a lot more confident in his feelings for Vyrm, and their private encounters are rooted in their genuine passion for one another instead of being framed as a form of escape. As for drinking, he was able to stop doing so to cope, and instead only drinks occasionally as a form of celebration, to mentally set the acceptable boundary and not fall back into his habits.

---

When it comes to Vyrm, he didn't outright have a problem with alcohol, smoking, or anything else that could be seen as addictive (like sex in Grimm's case). Well, almost anything, though he wasn't aware of it for most of his life. It was soul, the magical substance found at the center of his powers. He consumed it in liquid form in place of eating actual food, and he would rely on it all the time to heal any ailment he had through focusing it. At the beginning of his rule, things were perfectly fine, but as time went on, the lack of proper nutrients and calories had a bad effect on his body. Instead of eating, he would constantly rely on soul to keep him going, which inevitably put him in a spot where he was basically addicted to it. Any attempts at eating food were unsuccessful for as long as there was a source of soul nearby, as he was too terrified of embracing his instincts, especially after the Xero incident.

The reliance on the substance was slowly killing him, and only when it was stripped from him and when the hibernation messed with his knowledge of soul magic, was he able to leave it behind. It wasn't smooth at all, granted. Right after waking up from hibernation, he experienced what can easily be compared to withdrawals. Nausea and vomiting (inevitably also connected to the fact that his stomach had to adjust to proper food intake), insomnia, heightened anxiety, tremors, he had an absolutely terrible time for the first few weeks of not relying on soul. All of the symptoms were made even worse by his guilt, as well as the wound on his head that slowly became infected, which would cause him all kinds of pain and side effects.

Eventually he reunited with Hornet, Holly and Grimm, and while he had the opportunity to heal, he did struggle with the symptoms for a while. He would still experience tremors and anxiety, nausea became less frequent but it still sometimes bothered him. Luckily for him, soul wasn't a commonly found substance outside of the White Palace (in the AU, it works a bit differently; only a soul-based higher being can extract it from living beings, which disqualified Vyrm, and I see the soul totems found all over the in-game world as a gameplay only thing; meanwhile, the hot springs are filled with water without any soul in it), so he had very little chance of getting back into the harmful habit. Besides, he could not use any of the spells anymore, the hibernation erased his memories related to them, so he would have to re-learn it all to utilize soul.

The first year or two after his return were a healing period for him. As he found comfort in his new partner, and focused on eating to gain weight and heal the damage his body suffered throughout the years of relying on soul, his withdrawal symptoms softened. These days, it's all behind him, and while he does sometimes worry that he might relapse if he ever comes into contact with soul, his acceptance of his instincts and the gained love for food guarantee that whatever would happen, it wouldn't be nearly as bad as it was back in the day. Soul nearly destroyed him because he was scared of eating, which isn't the case anymore. That said, he still avoids it, as he's comfortable not using any magic and being an equal to those around him.

[minmin-vs-physics]

Hey! I’m gonna be a physics major next year, and I was wondering if the Mac and iPad combo have worked well for you, or if there’s something else you recommend tech wise?

short answer: yes.

but, im gonna use this has an opportunity to yap about my current study set up. this goes without saying, but what worked for me may not work for you, and my set up evolved over the years as i found what was best for me.

i use an iPad for lecture notes and homework. i think its the most organized you can get them to be without straight up LaTeXing the shit out of them (and i know people who do exactly that, more power to them)

i just write faster than i type, and an ipad allows me to copy paste equations and add photos and stuff which is helpful for diagrams. i use goodnotes 5, and i will sing its praises till the end of time.

i think it pays to develop a clear style for your homework and lecture notes, bc your work will be easier to navigate. here's an example of my lecture notes and my homework.

[hehe general relativity moment]

HOWEVER, you will mostly be having paper exams as a physics student so i recommend you don't get too reliant on your iPad. i tend to do all my studying in notebooks, or loose sheets that i can refer to. practice problems are always on paper.

[stat mech studying i did last week]

i started using legal pads for this from the end of junior year bc they're so convenient! im also incentivized by the stock our dept keeps in the mail room.

i have to do a lot of calculations for research and i prefer to do them on paper or a blackboard if it's something im reasoning out. idk it's so much easier to be stupid on paper than on goodnotes. ofc my research log is kept digitally, but i keep a binder with all my old calculations (both correct, and incorrect) along with my main reference papers.

[i was flipping through this just now and realised how much bs is in it.]

LaTeX is a good skill to have which i didn't realise until too late. if you have to write any paper that's remotely scientific, LaTeX is the way to go. none of that google docs bs.

i use both vscode and Overleaf for editing. i mainly just LaTeX my finalized research calculations into one big doc. it's much easier to show my advisor. also it looks cool.

i got a monitor when my laptop screen broke sophomore spring (something inside me broke as well that semester it was so fun). and if you have the option, i would totally recommend getting one. it's useful having a second/bigger screen.

i use mine for a bunch of things: coding, reading textbooks, genshin impact, Netflix, grading.

on the topic of textbooks, i use digital bc im cheap. but i do buy secondhand physical copies that i rarely reference, but keep around bc it doesn't hurt to start your hypothetical professor office bookshelf early. i only buy the ones i actually respect, like Peskin's Intro to QFT. but the digital copies are usually much handier. i keep an extensive digital collection of books and papers i might never need.

don't be like me keep your digital library more organized!

and yeah circling back to electronics! i use a Macbook Pro rn which has served me well. i guess things are different if you need to run solidworks or other specialized software, but you can always use the lab computers, so that was never a problem. i have an apple ecosystem bc im a slut for capitalism.. i mean i was already halfway there and now im just really used to it, so i like all my devices being friends with each other. my tip is always get more RAM than you thought you needed, and double the storage. but maybe that's bc im mean to my laptop and love hoarding files.

i also keep all my previous notes and printouts so may be i have an academic hoarding problem in general.

in the end, a mix of old school and new age technology bs works best for me!

thank you for your question! i hope this helps :)

[vestrix]

I'm getting increasingly annoyed at content claiming to be about hoarding and dealing with hoarding when it's not at all. At best it's disorganised clutter, at worst it's someone chasing minimalism.

An ACTUAL tip for fellow hoarders from a hoarder trying to do a downsize for a future move without overly triggering the "re-acquire at greater levels" response: You've got to start so early.

I'll move probably in September. I started in February.

My daily goal: Get rid of (charity, barter, bin) 3 objects a day. 2 easy, one harder. If I bin the harder, it counts for all 3 objects. I can go over the amount if I'm on a roll, but if afterward I'm looking at online shopping or thinking about acquiring more items, I pause for a few days.

I try to battle that anxiety by going through stuff in my collection for Fun, like rediscovering my objects I love, triggering those good feelings I get from my stuff, in an attempt to curb the urge to Get More by provoking that hit with stuff I already have. It's partially successful, honestly, and if I do end up buying stuff, I try to make sure I buy consumables. Food, a bathbomb, a scented candle, something I will use up. Or, I try to make sure what I buy is physically 'less' than what I got rid of, smaller / lighter / takes up less space.

Again, it's a battle against a brain which is having a panic response. There's only so much I can do.

But it DOES get easier to get rid of things when you go slowly, it's a muscle and an anxiety response and both need to be practiced, flexed, and rested. I've made a lot of physical progress and I hope mental / emotional progress, but I will always be fighting this fight, and I will always be a messy, cluttered, maximalist. It's just trying to keep it actually manageable (not what I think is manageable when I'm in denial) and where I'm happy, not overwhelmed and in distress.

Also to add, for me easy objects are never actually easy, but they're things I can rationally say are trash, or I don't like them, or I'm never going to use them, even if my Feelings are saying different.

These objects might be half a bottle of conditioner I didn't like, or a half used bottle of ketchup past its sell by date (which still looks fine), or a pen which only sometimes works now, or a tupperware which had gotten really mouldy and now I'm too nervous to use.

That's what I mean when I say "easy" objects. I am still anxious getting rid of those items, but they're less likely to haunt me.

Harder objects are things like a pair of shoes which are broken and don't fit me. A half knitted doll jumper which is the wrong size and I won't ever frog. A broken computer mouse. I don't make the rules about what is easy or hard in my brain, it often makes little rational sense, but it's usually based on (perceived) value, sentiment, or just liking the object even if it's in an unusable state.

That's the sort of stuff hoarders battle with.

Also, I'm begging you, if you're a content creator PLEASE stop calling things hoarding when they're not. Hoarding has clearly defined markers that need to be met, please be aware of these.

[moonyasnow]

Hehe so I saw the OCs types post... mayhaps I can find something right among my ocs...

Irina: I wanna say Aiden fits in a lot of these, he is taller than her, super protective... has one blue eye, darker purple hair, intimidating and strong... plus well... he is emotionally constipated mostly... unless it comes to cooking. But he is distant yet dedicated once you get through to him really.

Spike: I wanna say most of these is Carol .. Except the hair but she is a kind woman, nurturing... she is more green coded but certainly pulls of white well and also once she got her plant powers summons white lillies as well as has white flowers growing on her. Open-minded well depends on how you approach her, she can be judgy but she quickly changes her mind if she knows all is good. She is a good source of a Calm woman who embrace you and give you a safe space.

Junia: This one is harder cause many conflict... I thought Yuzuha cause he got glasses and strength and intelligence but he can be a teasing meany. Can be kinder if he wants to and thinks you are worth it though... sadly most of my himbos are also not the kindest but i would say Slice is the kindest but he is also a clown.

Veronica: I saw this and my brain went imidiatly to Flynn , Epitome of Joker, charmer, confident... always wears a mask to hide the things he did. But also he aint strong but a master at dodging and escaping death... I feel given he is friends with Vil he also for sure would try to get Veronicas attention

Victor: I said it before when you asked me for interactions but Eiji is still just the most fitting here fr. Literally ticks all of the boxes.

Artemisia: This one is pretty hard among my ocs... Actually more cause of age cause my only choice was someone older.... and i haven't made some of my younger ones that smart... closest would be Mellow. He is smart, has a softer voice, is a bit more introverted... however the rest he is lacking... he will get more confident as an adult so maybe by then he feels comfy teasing but till then.. its just him being red a lot.

Oooooo this is really interesting! ngl I did not expect anyone to care at all about my 'types' post lol So it's very fun it made you start thinking! ^^ (also wow sorry this took so long-- been pretty busy this past week; I usually see stuff faster than this)

Ok ok so

I 100% agree with Aiden! He is basically EXACTLY her type

And the shared trust issues and abandonment issues would definitely make Irina want to be closer to him after she learned about it

One of my literal first thoughts about Eiji was 'man, Victor would have a big crush on this guy as soon as he found out about the murder' lol

And their shared dislike of most of NRC would be another bonding-point haha

As for Flynn...

The big thing you gotta understand with getting close to Veronica is that usually, it is a SLOW process. And the other person basically always has to be the one to initiate it for a WHILE at the start. Her abandonment issues from being separated from everyone she's ever cared about before has made it so she pushes most people away before she can get attached, and losing them could hurt.

BUT! That she's actually close with people at all right now(Vil, Rook, Epel), and that she has her brother back with her, makes her less likely to try super hard; it calms her down a lot. But mostly just because she feels like she has everyone she needs.

That he's already close with Vil would make it like 100x easier for him than most other people to get close to her. Rule of thumb; if she has someone she really looks up to, and you're on good terms with them, she'll probably like you, or at least tolerate you more.

But honestly? The thing that would 100% work on her is teasing.

You know those kids who'd tease their crush in grade school? That shit works on her. She's always felt like no one ever tried to actually get to know or understand her, so the minute she meets someone new who can manage to push her buttons but in a harmless way, she's instantly interested, even though she would NEVER admit that.

It's legit the easiest way to get close to her; just keep consistently showing up to tease her until she stops trying to push you away and she's basically stuck to you like glue :) 👍

And they have a lot in common, too! Like fashion, and both being really rebellious, following their own sense of right and wrong rather than just taking someone else's word for it

[mangledscrimp]

HAIII,, Here is Desmond for dy au :3,, I redid her ref sheet and I think it looks so much better than the original sprite edit! (comparison)

(WILL HAVE AZRAN LEGACY SPOILERS.)

As a bit of a warning;; There will be nonsexual nudity in the post going over scars from surgeries and wounds (not very graphic)

As usual, going to go through each bullet.

•Pronouns

Desmond goes by He/She/They/Its. Everything pretty much goes for them. She’s genderfluid.

•AroAce

Desmond in this au is aroace. He still had that past partner like canon desmond does. But after she had disappeared, it helped him discover himself after being unable to be a suitable partner for anyone else due to stress and general complications with understanding people.

•Artistry

Desmond is still very much into art, but taxidermy is what she values higher than most. She thinks it’s a beautiful way to show the life an animal once lived or a creative way to express oneself through an animal.

•Airship or water ship?

Desmond in this au owns a mixture of both! She owns a cruise ship with an attached airship at the top (the Bostonius)! Making her able to leave the ship without having to turn the cruise around and an easier place to have the airship without having to put it into a hanger. Her crewmates often call her red or dessy, a fun little nickname!

•Glasses?

Surprisingly, her glasses are only for show. She’s got no lenses in those red rims and are merely an accessory.

•Profession

Desmond studied the arts of archeology and anthropology. He’s well versed in the two topics. Archeology is something that peaked his interest since it was a major thing in his childhood. Often times, his father would bring him to dig sites to see pottery from the past and how humans used to live. Unfortunately, his father was taken by a suspicious group of people, as well as his mother.

Anthropology also peaked Desmond’s interest as it went along with Archeology. Learning about how human being behaved throughout history over time is interesting to them.

This is more of a habit but, Desmond is also an interested hunter. While learning about different cultures and their practices, she learned more and more about different hunting strategies used by many cultures. These were inspirational, so it slowly became a hobby. Of course only in areas that allowed hunting. Nothing non-ethical for her!

———— AZRAN LEGACY SPOILS!!!

I feel like…you guys will hater me for what I did to descole for the au ok…Don’t get mad at me pleaseeeee!! :< She’s kinda cringe but I DON’T CAREEE MWAHAHA I AM FREE I CAN DO WHATEVER I WISH!!

Cannibalism and Hunting mention uwaaa

remember shit gets diabolical in this au, so don’t be surprised when the main villain is a cringe scary character that goes EEEVIL!!

ok yah this is..this is descole in this au.

Again, gonna do what I gotta do. A lot of what’s in here is related to lore stuff that some people may have or have not read..sooo tralala

This ref is general and not affected by gameplot!

•Similarities and differences

Desmond and Descole act VERY differently. Desmond is simply just an act for the public eye.

Also, not called “Jean Descole” in this au. She’d probably find it rather ugly to be called “Jean” and thinks that name is stupid. Her canon counterpart would definitely hate her.

Desmond and Descole both share the same pronouns, that part does not change. Same with their sexuality.

Desmond is more open and tries her best to communicate with people, while Descole acts more cold and serious. Descole also gets agitated more easily compared to Desmond.

•Outfit and design.

Descole’s outfit is made to hunt. It’s hunting gear. She has white hunting gloves and a purple hunting jacket.

The boa and cravat is for style, might as well look good when you’re hunting. (Not..very affective..but don’t tell her that..)

The cape is also for style but it’s also used to hide her belt and anything else she has concealed in her pockets. The pattern of the cape isn’t very consistent but it has the overall pattern of a leopard with a soft texture. Often times her chihuahua, treats, enjoys to lay in it. (Treats is the Keats dupe for this au! hehe). Can ditch the cape when she needs to run after prey and it’s slowing her down.

Her boots are lightweight so she can easily run after her prey if needed.

her hat is funny, that’s why I did it lols. She can’t own a cat, or else it would knock it off all the time haha!

Under everything, it’s just a plain cream shirt with her hunting pants.

The shadow is a design choice that I like hehe, it allows her to blend in with the darkness since she mostly hunts at night. Also makes her mysterious hehehe lalalal! Desmond can also have this shadow to show the cover being blown.

Mask to conceal her identity.

Wig is not connected to the hat, if she wants to take it off, she’ll take it off from the front, similarly to how the masked gentleman takes off the costume for the big reveal.

•Weaponry

Descole carries a belt on her waist that holds her smaller tools. For example, her cautery tool she stole from her adopted father (Raymond). Carrying it around incase she needs it for prey. (Of course, it’s only been used on one creature she’s hunted.)

Another weapon in her arsenal would be her handgun. It’s used near the ending of Randall’s game. She has larger ones but she carries a small one for quick trips and not for longer hunts.

Lastly, she owns a net guns. Made by herself. The case is a deep dark purple with a red “D” to label it as her own. It has foam to protect each netgun head and handle. The yellow button on the handle is to release her white web onto her prey. She mostly uses her net guns instead of killing what’s she’s hunting right away.

• Diet.

She’s a hunter that eats her prey. if her prey so happens to be Human, she won’t find a problem using every piece that she can.

With her normal hunting, she often uses every part of the animal. For example, if she were to hunt a deer, she’d use every piece.

Though, she has yet to eat a human being. She had plans to feast on a red headed woman after her plans had failed since she had no more use for her, but that sadly didn’t go through. Once you aren’t needed anymore in her eyes, she’ll find a way to satisfy her hunger.

Under the cut there is nudity!! NOT SEXUAL! Just to show Des’s body.

Warn for scarring and nonsexual nudity!! uwaa

This is how Des looks underneath everything!

•Under Both

During the Randall game, Des gets shot in her shoulder, leaving a scar after raymond tried to tend to its wound.

Des had gotten breast reduction surgery by raymond. Raymond has surgical experience, he’s a retired surgeon who decided to work in an orphanage where he met Des and her future crew.

Raymond is like a father to des and was happy to make her feel more confident in himself.

The wound on their right hand was caused by desperate measures going through the labyrinth in Randall’s game. She carved a pathway onto her hand so she wouldn’t get lost.

He’s got a symmetry line down its chest. Idk, just a neat body detail I wanted to add because I think it’s nice! hehe

• Under Descole

She wears a binder under her descole outfit to appear more flat chested. She doesn’t mind her breasts but she’d rather wear that when she’s hunting that a bra. Feels more contained.

OK LALALA THAT IT!!

[betterfettered]

Hello! Are you doing alright? If it's ok, could I please request the brothers' reaction to their darling being a reincarnation of their s/o?

For context I imagine that they and darling would have probably had a relationship from back when they were angels, but it was cut short when darling died during the celestial war (probably either killed while rebelling or just didn’t survive the fall). However, after becoming demons, they met darling’s new incarnation, and the uncanny similarities led to both the realization of the reincarnation thing and also a really weird dynamic because, while it was a break up via death and not either of them actually wanting to stop being the other’s s/o, darling doesn't have any memories as their s/o since, y'know, death and all, so in their mind darling is basically like “Who are you and how do you know so much about me?” (Unless they wanna try doing some weird soul stuff to jog their memory but in obey me cannon it seems like memories from past lives are only recovered upon death so not sure how that would work out)

Also, I realize that this scenario wouldn’t really work with Satan due to him being the only of the brothers who isn’t a former angel, so you can feel free to not include him if you like! Thank you in any case, and I hope you have a lovely day!

Hello my dear sweet anon. This ask plays really nicely off of another ask I got and I sort of want to do them together because it was fun to consider both at the same time, so I'm going to smoosh them together if that's alright with you! Here that ask is:

a request 🥹 pov the brothers had a ONS with a vampire mc (who lives on earth, didn't get chosen for the programm but since the realms are more connected it's easier for them to travel between them because magic n shit) so how would they react if they heard rumors of them being a vampire and meet them again per chance?? also they could rival them in strength so how would their obsession go? sorry this is so long, this could be a whole fanfic on it's own lmao but i'm 2 lazy

This response will be a little unusual since it's a mix of ideas from both of these (e.g. it'll be a long term relationship instead of an ons, the angel will be a vampire instead, the brother will have become yandere after they became a demon), so if either of you don't like the way it turns out feel free to resubmit your ask and I can answer it on its own!

(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere)(noncon)(gaslighting)(18+ readers only please, mdni)[This is fetish content and rape and abuse are disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]

Lucifer as an angel is about as proud as usual so I think he'd be kind of pissed about vampire darling being just as strong as he is LOL In fact, I can kind of see that being how the very beginnings of his obsession with this darling would form, he's training a lot so that he actually is stronger than they are and can put them in their place. He'd be very interested in vampire darling's life, I think, and not necessarily judgmental of it, similarly to how he was just curious about "Sully" in the first game after he cornered him for not being an angel.

Meeting an MC that was a reincarnation of his lost vampire darling, Yandere!Lucifer would probably try to play it cool at first, especially because the exchange program is so important for the devildom. As his obsession gets reignited, however, he is more and more likely to orchestrate a situation where MC is forced to stay by him and obey him, no matter how long it takes to do so. Because he "broke up" with vampire darling by them dying, he's going to be extremely controlling almost immediately, because he wants to protect them as much as possible. As usual, he isn't really all that concerned about your opinion on the relationship because in his mind you are meant to be together. If you're creeped out by him knowing so much - good. All the more reason for you to listen to what he says.

Mammon would also not do well with a vampire darling that's as strong as him and would constantly take opportunities to show off how strong he is or insist that he needs to do things for them because they are too dainty to do it themself LOL He would constantly ask super ridiculous stuff about vampire darling, including mixing up various legends and asking them stuff like if he should stay away during a full moon. At the same time, Mammon is pretty subby so he would be drooling every time they put him in his place.

Considering that Yandere!Mammon is already eager for any pretext at all to be all over MC, MC being his reincarnated darling will be license to do whatever he wants regardless of if he is explaining that to you or his brothers. He'll occupy all of your time and never leave you alone with any of the others, and at first it might be pleasant because Mammon is taking you to do things that he knows you like. Once it becomes clear how deep his obsession with you really runs, though, it would probably begin to sink in how creepy/unhealthy it is. Mammon also doesn't really pay much attention to the fact that he is further along in this relationship than you are. To you, he's a stranger; to him, you're a part of him. He'll be pouncing on you before you can even remember which room is his.

When he is an angel, vampire darling will probably the person who got the closest to Leviathan before MC -- he's so painfully negative after losing his purpose as admiral that someone sticking with him anyway would really open him up to a deep connection. It's so interesting to imagine this because before he cloistered himself away as an otaku, it would probably be possible for vampire darling to have a really normal relationship with a bf who seems just kind of reserved L)L As for vampire darling being stronger, Leviathan dreams of them stepping on him every day and could not be happier. It would probably take a long time for him to reveal all the little fantasies he has about both them being a vampire and being stronger than him, but he'd have them immediately .

No one can convince me that Yandere!Leviathan hasn't turned at least a third of his brain to applesauce due to extensive exposure to hentai, so I'm betting that he has already been taken with vampy kinks for a while when reincarnated MC shows up. He would feel so awkward and miserable when he realizes that he knows you and you don't know him, so his obsession with you would really grow in the dark of his room. Him looking at vampire dom/mes with glossy pleather boots and blood dripping down their bare chests and pretending that they are you. This would probably create a negative feedback loop where he says creepy things, you get a little weirded out and distance yourself, he craves your company and fantasizes about having it more, which makes him tell you creepy things about what he wants to do with you, which makes you distance yourself. He will eventually get jealous enough that he either locks you away from everyone else you talk to or he lashes out at you. He just wants to feel safe and wanted again. Whatever the cost.

(For Satan, we can just imagine it's earlier in his life when he's just learning about what feelings are vs. Later) Satan lowkey likes for his partner to take control, so wouldn't mind vampire darling being stronger as long as they don't tease him about it or flaunt it. In fact, i think he'd feel so much relief knowing that if he gets way too angry his darling isn't in danger, it would make him feel secure in a way he rarely does (read: in a way that he can grow addicted to). While one might expect him to read all he can about vampires to try and study them academically, I don't think Satan would actually look at vampire darling in that way. At first he just sees them as another creature in a world full of them, and by the time he feels gripped by the desire to know everything about them, he would already know a good amount about vampires.

With reincarnated MC, things would be awkward awkward awkward. Yandere!Satan will never know what to say or how to express himself around you, which would make him anxious as hell (read: angry). Because you'd always put him in a bad mood, I imagine your relationship with him would start as him bullying you because he hates that something about you always makes him act so odd. He'd also be so blindsighted that he would begin obsessively trying to learn about humans to get a better handle on the situation. If/when you submit to the bullying and let him have his way in all of your interactions, that is when you'll see the true yan tendencies start to appear. Now that you have accepted your place in the hierarchy, he can begin training you on other aspects of how he'd like you to behave.

NGL i am crying imagining reincarnated MC finally standing up to Satan and him just rolling over like a puppy because with vampire darling that was the way of things

Asmodeus is the ultimate switch so he would think a vampire darling that's stronger than him would be so fun to fuck. Trying to surprise and one up each other would be really arousing to him. But then the more mornings they spend together, cuddling and talking about nothing at all, the more he'd be entranced by them and want to spend more time with them (the more mornings they spend together). Meeting someone that felt superior to him in some way would make it so easy for him to get wrapped up in their relationship and grow comfortable with it.

Reincarnated MC fills an emptiness in Yandere!Asmodeus' life that he pretends he doesn't have, grief over losing vampire darling. He would likely be upfront that you are his reincarnated darling and that he wants to fall in love with you all over again; no reason to be shy since there's no one who can resist him, he's basically doing you a favor. If you say you don't want to be with him or he's scaring you or other "confused" things like that, it's fine: he doesn't mind persisting until you learn better than to say that you are not are in love with him. Eventually you will admit how you really feel, and he is willing to fuck you as many times as necessary to help you with your honesty :) Beelzebub would love a darling that's stronger than him because he'd want to train with them a lot. He isn't really competitive about his strength (yknow how in NB on the homescreen he compliments Diavolo on being strong and then says he wants to work out with him?) so he'd be really inspired by them. He doesn't see a really big difference between vampires and angels, except that maybe sometimes they'll need to borrow his blood? Imagine him really trying to eat as much as possible days before he knows vampire MC will want to drink his blood so he doesn't pass out and worry them. I can really imagine Yandere!Beelzebub meeting reincarnated MC, immediately treating you like vampire darling and hurting you by accident. He'd feel so, so guilty that he would stay by your side 24/7, and the entire time think about how fragile you are now and how easy it would be to hurt you. How you need him to protect you. At first, he'll just want to know where you're going, then he wants to walk you to and from every where you go, then he'll want to keep an eye on you 24/7, then he'll just want you to stay in his room where you're safe. Belphegor would be immediately delighted by a vampire darling, because he loves new experiences and people really different from himself hence why he loved visiting the human world so much. That difference from himself is what would make him more drawn to them than normal, almost to the point of fixation, but he'd be mostly manageable as an angel because of his milder personality. He doesn't mind vampire darling being stronger than him at all; he didn't particularly pride himself on his physical strength any way.

When reincarnated!MC shows up, Yandere!Belphegor would set up romantic dates between the two of you so he can refresh your memory of him, but he'll get frustrated pretty quick when it doesn't work as well as he wants it to and you don't fall as madly in love with him as he is with you. Belphegor is one of the most likely to express his obsession insisting on being cruel to you just to make you feel small and his. I think he'd express his frustration that things aren't easy between the two of you by trying to break you and make you cry, at least until he feels like you're taking him seriously. I hope you enjoyed!!! These asks together were so interesting to think about, and really picked my brain. Send in more asks, my ask box is growing empty!

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

i guess i need some. advice? encouragement? about some stuff thats been happening recently so suicide/violence cw under the cut

i won't go into detail but i had. a very huge emotional/physical/mental breakdown today. where i was just. basically screaming and howling about how suicidal ive been lately. I haven't said anything out loud/via text on the internet abt it because i know saying i want to kms so often is bad for my own well being and ultimately makes other uncomfortable as well

so yeah i've just been. holding all that in. i knew the thoughts were coming in and out the past few months but was just shrugging it off as just being stressed abt the nightmare year i had. but i really was just. lying to myself and others because i didnt want to worry anyone/didn't want to admit how horrible i was doing after a couple years of good progress. but as it stands things are heading into a really bad direction for me rn. its not normal to go to sleep suicidal and immediately be suicidal upon waking up.

I don't really know what i can really do harm reduction wise. i'm unable to have regular visits with a psychiatrist/therapist bc of availability issues + i tend to just. lie. because its easier to say im fine than it is to advocate for myself and get actual help. and even then medication will not save me and coping skills can only go so far if im so deep in it im unable to take care of myself/feed myself/clean myself/eat/etc so none of it is effective enough in the moment. i know it CAN be effective and some of the skills ive learned can help during situational issues but this is really deep rooted improperly treated mental illness and i need a stronger foundation to be able to use any of the skills

i use a means of self isolation to punish myself, because i'm so upset with myself for not being able to pick myself up on my own. people can say im not a burden over and over but theres always gonna be a catch in the end. i freak out because what if this is one of my last meltdowns before they decide enoughs enough and i just get abandoned. again.

I feel like maybe being so Online is making things worse?? but i don't know??? my concentration is completely gone even when trying to use dnd/closing discord completely and im just constantly refreshing social media every 10 seconds and just stew in the bad feelings.

I don't know if just. leaving the internet cold turkey for a bit would do more harm than good.....i dont want to be alone and caught up in my thoughts. but i have a hard time doing things in 'moderation' and don't know how to even begin to roll back my internet/screen time usage

fandom is fun and great. but i dont think i should be using video games as pure escapism or playing them 24/7. im already getting bored and unenthusiastic about the things i like because its ALL i do.... I want to have at least SOME time away from screens. i hate having the impulse the check social media or refresh even 30 seconds (im even doing it NOW) but i just dont know where to begin in cultivating non-screentime hobbies and have the ability to focus on things more long term without having than doing 1000 things all at once to keep myself busy. i play video games muted most of the time, have a yt video playing, sometimes i'll stop mid video game and pull out my ipad while still having the games open, and im always on discord

there's books i still want to read, i eventually want to pick up sewing again. im considering getting a craft set for making those beaded bracelets (my brother gets them from concerts all the time and thinks it would be fun to make them too) but that all requires money

and i just. idk where im going with this rn but. any advice or suggestions or just. words of encouragement would be. really nice rn