#min vs fa24

[minmin-vs-physics]

[18/11/24] hey guys, sorry it's been a while. just had some things going on, but hopefully now im back!

grad apps and research and studies still exist. im horribly behind in two of my classes, but im just sleepy. all the time. this is such a pretty place to study, but i hardly get anything done here because of that. ugh. this is the week i get my shit together.

the horrors persist, but so must we.

[minmin-vs-physics]

[6/12/24] what's min up to? qft mostly. it takes up a lot of mental space and im still behind in the class lmao. my fault for taking it as an undergrad :P

suddenly my grad apps are just a week away, but the cold makes me slow and unmotivated. i really want time to be a lump and then a normal human being with hobbies over winter break. im so close.

yet so far. min vs fa24 but fa24 may be winning.

[minmin-vs-physics]

[28/10/24] i locked in on black holes tonight after a lot of dilly dallying bc i have a gr exam tmr. really pumping the music helped A LOT. im kinda cooked bc this prof is in a whole other intellectual tax bracket and is known to have devastating exams (i have experienced them before). there is a LOT of math i am Not Confident on.

still, i was lowkey w0w bc black holes are so metal. at one point i wanted to do black hole physics and idk every kid wants to know more abt black holes bc they're so cool and wow im finally doing gr??? that's wild.

my friend once described our gr lecture as a pbs spacetime video and i Could Not stop laughing. but he's right! it feels like we've passed the event horizon of pop science now.

its always nice to get a moment of clarity after two L's in a row. time for another fight!

Supermassive Black Hole - Muse obviously in theme

[minmin-vs-physics]

[26/10/24] only in college will you

drive an hour to write the gre

flunk the gre

come back to grade exams

lock yourself up to finish a problem set

finally go to a party and get drunk

all in the same day. the whiplash is very funny to me. i love being a party girl and also a physicist (my party crowd is only physicists but we party hard)

but hey! the primary decay mode of a top quark is a bottom quark and a W+ boson.

[minmin-vs-physics]

[17/10/24] my favourite season is in full swing. im kinda sad that its my last fall in this gorgeous town, but i don't have enough time to fully appreciate the leaves changing. im telling myself that i just need to grit my teeth for one more week, and then its smooth sailing.

...well ill still have my usual workload + statements of purpose to finish writing. it's really weird that what i do now will decide where im living next year. im excited for what grad school will bring but i don't want to leave this place.

i would 100% do my phd here given the chance but ugh "we're supposed to explore and learn from different places."

anyway. qft calls. im doing the pset which is supposedly the rock bottom of the course, so im looking forward to what the class brings next. im still standing! (drop deadline is next week)

[minmin-vs-physics]

[30/9/24] today i had the chance to interact with a prof im interested in working with for grad school! low-key went to all the events that would allow me to talk to this person. im even going to another talk tomorrow. i hope i made a good impression, and he’ll remember me when grad apps roll around,,,, or perhaps my PI?

research is lurching and creaking but i think i just need to redo some parts of the calculation. I’ve started yet another week of GR and QFT psets (may the lord grant me strength)

i did touch grass and catch an epic sunset though. i live in a very nice town with very nice things to do.

[minmin-vs-physics]

[26/12/24] well, just like that senior fall is done! it's been a brutal crunch, what with 10 grad app deadlines sandwiched in between finals week! but now im back in California, wrapping up my remaining 3 apps and waiting for the other ones to get back to me.

i got an A in qft which is great bc that class took everything from me. GR didn't go as well, and i am absolutely gutted bc i definitely put a lot of time into it.

the end of the year is rife with trepidation, so im just sleeping and lying in bed thinking about what to do if i don't get into grad school.

ah. you know. the classic doomposting.

anyway, my college town looked like a ski resort when i was leaving which was very pretty and i am struck by the very few months i have left in it. make the most of senior year guys! whatever may happen after it.

[minmin-vs-physics]

[29/9/24] im feeling under the weather so i went to work in my office bc no one's there on weekends (i was wrong bc my cubicle mate showed up later in the afternoon). as i lay on our grungy couch, since being sick makes ur mental faculties slower (who woulda thought), i pulled kinich! yay for gacha addiction.

i went to applefest afterward so good food and good vibes. (kinda sad that im going for the first time as a senior) i still got a fair bit done in the evening bc im feeling better.

lowkey, i was really happy to do research again (bc i was on a forced break last week to study for the physics gre) my code's still wrong but she's getting there! i atleast know where there's a mistake if not how to fix it.

[minmin-vs-physics]

[5/9/24] the math library had a sale, so i went and bought a book on algebraic topology that im never gonna read. my only encounter with topology was through a matrix groups class and then a little romp through a homotopy textbook with a math grad student. i AM interested in the topic, but i was so sucky that im more hesitant around it.

i feel like a bull in a china shop around mathematics. yeah i do fine in the context of my degree but god they can get pedantic ugh. im just an unruly physicist im sorry.

but mathematicians amaze me! im so close to a math degree as well but i could never be a mathematician.

ah. what a shame. truly, a shame.

[minmin-vs-physics]

anyone applying to grad school feel like their list is wayyy too unrealistic? idk whenever i do grad app stuff, i take d10 damage from impostor syndrome. (and i have to rlly do grad app stuff now so guess what's happening)

[minmin-vs-physics]

[18/9/24] I was on my feet pretty much all day today because I was either teaching or in a study hall since 9am, with brief breaks for slipping into a library to work on problem sets. Dear lord, am I tired! I want to be more consistent with posting because don’t get me wrong,,, I’ve been studying! So much so that I don’t have time to post about it.

I’ve really been enjoying QFT and GR. So glad to have the chance to think really deeply about these topics because we’re covering symmetries in both of them, and one thing you have to know about me is that I am in love with symmetries and group theory and Noether’s theorem. Conservation laws, my heart!

Should I do a post about topics I enjoy like this one? I feel like there’s a lot to say about the beautiful mathematical formalism around deep physical topics. There are some concepts in this world that completely take over you once you know they exist. (Another Noether’s Theorem plug)

[minmin-vs-physics]

[26/9/24] prof makes a dollar, i make a dime, and that's why i shipost in office hour time. (it was a slow hour! i do my job just fine!)

my qft pset is turned in, probably rife with sign errors, but i must move on. im actually itching to work on my research, but i have to cram for the physics gre now. god, im so annoyed at that test. im so frustrated today (probably bc i need to wash my hair)

[minmin-vs-physics]

[24/9/24] nothing like practicing for the pgre with league soundtrack. i switched over to my QFT and GR psets (bc life goes on and those need to be done too)

ive been pacing like an under enriched zoo animal between both of them but barely got anything done :D we are doing symmetries in both but my brain is not stretching to accommodate right now.

look as much as i think noether's theorem is cool, i cannot compute the noether current for this symmetry. don't get me started on lorentz transformations. i have seen too many indices today and i dont know what any of them mean.

we have a lovely juxtaposition here because im getting my ass kicked by both freshman mechanics and relativistic quantum field theory.

[minmin-vs-physics]

Min vs FA24

Now that I'm officially a college senior, I thought a post of what I will be up to is in order. (Especially since I was absconding last week) Gonna take some hard hitters for classes this semester, pray for me.

Intro to General Relativity: FINALLY. I've been waiting for this since before I was a physics major. I know it's gonna be good since my QM prof from last sem is teaching it. (Lowkey wanna switch to the grad version because my QM prof from last sem is teaching it)

Relativistic Quantum Field Theory: Another scary class but still highly anticipated! I've basically been doing QFT all summer, but the class is scarier because formalism. Of course, it will unlock some doors in particle theory.

Statistical Thermodynamics: lowkey im most nervous about this one. another beast of a topic in physics and i rlly want to learn it but idk we don't talk abt it much??? (except abt how much we're dreading it) the whole cohort will come together for this one.

Intro to Sociocultural Anthropology: always gotta throw one curveball in the schedule. not much to say bc im just taking it for a gen ed req.

Computational Physics: I should drop this bc taking four physics classes in grad apps season is kinda overkill. i wanted the lightest sem i could make but still ended up w this kraken. but no math class! (i had to pry out topology) this is the first and only semester i won't have a math class. in addition to courseload i also have

TAing for a CS class: ik my way around it so its not a problem but its still a time sink

TAing for a QM class: this is smth i def just do for the love of it, so another time sink basically but i look forward to it

Research: gotta work on that thesis y'all. i wanna make smth good out of it in time.

Physics GRE: broccoli on my plate

Grad Apps: waking nightmare. but it'll be fine i can drop out and become a finance bro.

but i also wanna make memories with all the other seniors because what? how are we seniors? (im writing this after going stargazing with my friends on a school night.)

[minmin-vs-physics]

[9/9/24] ive been staying pretty late in the physics building and its eerie but peaceful, since im p much the only person on this floor. my desk looks more cheerful now but im woefully behind for assignments. the weather's getting colder which means i get sleepier. i am once again dreading the prospects of postgrad life and i assume that feeling will only be amplified in the coming months.

however, one of my former students told me they were glad im once again TAing a class they're taking, and i was so touched. maybe all this will be worth something in the end.

[minmin-vs-physics]

[21/9/24] pro tip: don't write the physics gre when you're hungover. party last night went longer than it was supposed to, so i didn't get much done today. felt like absolute shite about it bc i tanked my practice gre this afternoon. (i did register for the test next week though)

instead of working on problem sets, i spent the evening building my grad school list and getting exceedingly sad about it-- grad apps are lowkey really depressing and i feel sick to my stomach since im an underqualified theory applicant.