#i think its cool to compare this to what was seen in the olympics last week

[tipsywench]

I didn't search super hard but so far this is the only lengthy boxing video with english commentary that I've found that has Imane Khelif.

She lost this fight to Amy Broadhurst of Ireland, who is one bad ass looking woman. Like holy shit! I love both these ladies.

I'm sure there's super technical boxing stuff to point out in this vid, but my fav moments are Imane just parking her ass on that chair in the beginning. The commentator going with: "...she's got those long, kind of, telescopic arms..." because that's the kind of dumbass comment I'd make then regret it 3 seconds later. And Amy Broadhurst being so smiley and happy at winning, she looks like a ray of sunshine that could beat your ass. I love it.

[undoundue]

i don’t know anything except how stories go

i don’t know anything except how stories go

the music isn't as good as i thought it would be

i'm not sure if i've taken enough drugs or too much

when i take too much, i get grandiose: big ideas. little follow-through.

when i take not enough, i also get grandiose, but i know it,

and i sound like a graveyard glass harmonica when

the wind passes through. when i take the right amount, i do not ask

whether i've taken enough drugs or too much.

instead i hallucinate that i'm a cicada, an elegant disgusting jewel

smithed by mommy nature to reproduce a tinny song,

and i'm grateful to my parents

and the 17 years i spent gestating

and this morbid cherry tree

because nobody buckles their tymbals like i. also, cicadas lack

the relevant receptors altogether,

so the dosing question doesn't apply.

(beat) say,

have you noticed that zoomers are really into columbo?

(you nod)

i've seen him on twitter twice lately, asking "just one more

question—which would you prefer as an afternoon snack?"

and there's a poll, cheez-its

or little debbie snack cakes.

the appeal, i think, is to a generational forgetfulness, to

a generation most in need of alarm clocks and aricept,

to the desire to see forgetfulness as a superpower, as an

equivalent to innocence, to be so impervious to

reality's demands. but haven't we been here

before? didn't milennials all die for the sin of inventing "retro

gaming"? and by the way,

did you hear the one about the guy who gave himself three-hundred

and ninety-one concussions, each time suffering retrograde amnesia

which knocked out his memory of his last pokemon red playthrough?

ah. ah yes. it is not a tale the jedi would tell you.

when i take too much, i get despondent. when i take not enough, i

get grandiose. but the line breaks are for the poet's benefit anyway.

besides, there are kids smoking brick weed in lebanon, we should be

thankful for what we have.

and hex maniac is pretty cute. her pupils spiral

counterclockwise,

going from out to in; in some of the fan art they go the other way but

you can tell those guys don't "get it"; the allure of a counterclockwise

spin on how you are perceived, to have your silhouette distorted

and your details properly misunderstood, to lose at games you've

never heard of it, to eat with chopsticks incorrectly,

to trip and fall and look at the sidewalk and say "thank you.

yes. i had grown complacent in my patterns, my

nucleus accumbens

was running on fumes; and i certainly wasn't expecting that!" and

mean it. i did this once. i was in a state of rare tranquility after

masturbating for sixteen consecutive hours (essentially a

performance enhancing drug for meditation—which is why,

in the tibetan olympics, strict no-fap is required for a week

before competition—and they take semen samples to be sure!)

so (you nod), when the buddha saw me

so grateful for life's misfortunes, he made a "look

at this fucking guy" gesture to ganesh and then said "look at this

fucking guy" as if the gesture wasn't enough. naturally,

i was offended, and besides i recalled the old koan "If you meet the

Buddha on the road, kill him," which i had read in a collection

of koans for children titled "If you meet the Buddha..." which

my Mom had purchased for me in the novelty gift section

of an urban outfitters in santa barbara ("Mom, why are you shopping

at urban outftters?" "son, yr mama just tryin' ta stay cool. say, you

heard of this MF DOOM cat?" "ugh! Mom!") and which had

such thought-provoking aphorisms as:

"If you meet the Buddha in an airport, buy him a cheeseburger."

"If you meet the Buddha at a dive bar, play him some new wave—the

Buddha is big into that shit." the idea being, you're prepared for any

circumstance, which is what buddhism is all about. so i did a

bunch of fast attacks; the buddha blocked; i said "shouldn't

it be all the same to you if i kill you?" the buddha said "it would,

except i want to get home and watch columbo, and i don't

want to wait to respawn." i said, "jesus. just—jesus." then the buddha

kicked me through a brick wall. everyone in the WeWork

screamed and fled, leaving their kombucha behind, and

for some reason the sprinklers went off. then, after the initial

impact, a lone brick fell (because of torque—force times the length of

the lever, remember) and hit me comically on the head, causing a

concussion. i said "guh."

yup, (you nod sympathetically),

i was feeling mighty grim. then it occurred to me: why don't i

play pokémon red? unfortunately, on my cellphone i only had

the romhack version, you know, where all the pokémon are allegories

for depression. so you got your depressionmander, depressioneleon,

depressionizard, and for pokémon where that doesn't work

they use it as a suffix, e.g. bulbadepression, ivydepression,

venudepression. also you can't leave the starting room and

your character moves really slowly. the indie gaming press

loves it. one of the features that reviewers single out is

that, instead of a lone Stand By Me reference, the TV in your room

goes line by line through Aguirre, the Wrath of God, except the

murders are replaced with pokémon battles and at the end

aguirre tries to command a horde of mankeys ("depressionkeys"),

which is a metaphor. dark stuff. it makes me think back on my youth:

lying on my child-king sized bed, masturbating to polyhedral

stellations, suffering from severe geometric dysmorphia as i

compared myself to the grandeur of those idealized forms—god, i

used to hate myself for those wasted hours. i mean, i still do, but i

used to, too. only after years of therapy have i developed a mantra

that eases the pain:

"i am mostly a cylinder.

i am mostly a cylinder." presto. you can get off to anything, even

loomis.

(you nod, hesitantly.) on saturday night,

i throw open the window and scream at the children: "you'll get old

too! an abstractome of brittle opinions even as your bumbling

homunculus drops the data you once used to back them up!"

the children reply "not necessarily, given the rate of advances in

biotech. also, no one cares, grandpa." they play soccer. my

mad pilgrim hair blows in the wind. i scream: "suffer! suffer! i am

omniscience!" they say: "oh yeah? how many fingers am i

holding up?" "four! five! four!" "it was five, you old fart." "the thumb

doesn't count as a finger! you should have a specified!" "OK, new

game: what sort of person am i?" "you are—you are—!" and so

i peer into their souls and know the answer, but i can't

find the words. the words do not come. i have forgotten them.

silently i draw away from the window. the children smirk, but only for

a moment. for they know i am right.

ah, to reveal the soul's heist, to be seen through by the omniscient

and powerless, what a delight! who among us would not cheerfully

kill the buddha when he's comin' through the rye? who among us

has not been blessed by the kind words of a stranger? and yet, we

shouldn't incentivize people to be strangers. society would collapse.

besides, we are no longer strangers to ourselves, you and i.

(you nod.) we will have much to discuss about that.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #482

Top Ten Sega Games

So I read somewhere on the internet that in June it’s the thirtieth birthday of Sonic the Hedgehog (making him only a couple of months younger than my brother, which is weird). This is due to his debut game, the appropriately-titled Sonic the Hedgehog, being first released on June 23rd. As such – and because I do love a good Tenuous Link – I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s list to Sega (also there was that Sonic livestream and announcement of new games, so I remain shockingly relevant).

I’ve got a funny relationship with Sega, largely because I’ve got a funny relationship with last century’s consoles in general. As I’ve said before, I never had a console growing up, and never really felt the need for one; I came from a computing background, playing on other people’s Spectrums and Commodores before getting my own Amiga and, later, a PC. And I stuck with it, and that was fine. But it does mean that, generally speaking, I have next to zero nostalgia for any game that came out on a Nintendo or Sega console (or Sony, for that matter). I could chew your ear off about Dizzy, or point-and-click adventure games, or Team 17, or Sensible Software, or RTS games, or FPS games, or whatever; but all these weird-looking Japanese platform games, or strange, unfamiliar RPGs? No idea. In fact, I remember learning what “Metroidvania” meant about five years ago, and literally saying out loud, “oh, so it’s like Flashback, then,” because I’d never played a (2D) Metroid or Castlevania game. Turns out they meant games that were, using the old Amiga Action terminology, “Arcade Adventures”. Now it makes sense.

Despite all this, I did actually play a fair few Sega games, as my cousins had a Mega Drive. So I’d get to have a bash at a fair few of them after school or whatever. This meant that, for a while, I was actually more of a Sega fan than a Nintendo one, a situation that’s broadly flipped since Sega stopped making hardware and Nintendo continued its gaming dominance. What all of this means, when strung together, is that I have a good deal of affection for some of the classics of Sega’s 16-bit heyday, but I don’t have the breadth or depth of knowledge you’d see from someone who, well, actually owned a console before the original Xbox. Yeah, sure, there are lots of games I liked back then; and probably quite a few that I still have warm nostalgic feelings for, even if they’re maybe not actually very good (Altered Beast, for instance, which I’m reliably informed was – to coin a very early-nineties phrase – “pants”, despite my being fond of it at the time). Therefore this list is probably going to be quite eccentric when compared to other “Best of Sega” lists. Especially because in the last couple of decades Sega has become a publisher for a number of development studios all around the world, giving support and distribution to the makers of diverse (and historically non-console) franchises as Total War and Football Manager. These might not be the fast-moving blue sky games one associates with Sega, but as far as I’m concerned they’re a vital part of the company’s history as it moved away from its hardware failures (and the increasingly lacklustre Sonic franchise) and into new waters. And just as important, of course, are their arcade releases, back in the days when people actually went to arcades (you know, I have multi-format games magazines at my parents’ house that are so old they actually review arcade games. Yes, I know!).

So, happy birthday, Sonic, you big blue bugger, you. Sorry your company pooed itself on the home console front. Sorry a lot of your games over the past twenty years have been a bit disappointing. But in a funny way you helped define the nineties, something that I personally don’t feel Mario quite did. And your film is better than his, too.

Crazy Taxi (Arcade, 1999): a simple concept – drive customers to their destination in the time limit – combined with a beautiful, sunny, blue skied rendition of San Francisco, giving you a gorgeous cityscape (back when driving round an open city was a new thrill), filled with hills to bounce over and traffic to dodge. A real looker twenty years ago, but its stylised, simple graphics haven’t really dated, feeling fittingly retro rather than old-fashioned or clunky. One of those games that’s fiendishly difficult to master, but its central hook is so compelling you keep coming back for more.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Mega Drive, 1992): games have rarely felt faster, and even if the original Sonic’s opening stages are more iconic, overall I prefer the sequel. Sonic himself was one of those very-nineties characters who focused on a gentle, child-friendly form of “attitude”, and it bursts off the screen, his frown and impatient foot-tapping really selling it. the gameplay is sublime, the graphics still really pop, and the more complex stages contrast nicely with the pastoral opening. Plus it gave us Tails, the game industry’s own Jar Jar Binks, who I’ll always love because my cousin made me play as him all the time.

Medieval II: Total War (PC, 2006): I’ll be honest with you, this game is really the number one, I just feel weird listing “Best Sega Games” and then putting a fifteen-year-old PC strategy game at the top of the pile. But what can I say? I like turn-based PC strategy games, especially ones that let you go deep on genealogy and inter-familial relationships in medieval Europe. everyone knows the real-time 3D battles are cool – they made a whole TV show about them – but for me it’s the slow conquering of Europe that’s the highlight. Marrying off princesses, assassinating rivals, even going on ethically-dubious religious crusades… I just love it. I’ve not played many of the subsequent games in the franchise, but to be honest I like this setting so much I really just want them to make a third Medieval game.

Sega Rally Championship (Arcade, 1994): what, four games in and we’re back to racing? Well, Sega make good racing games I guess. And Sega Rally is just a really good racing game. Another one of those that was a graphical marvel on its release, it has a loose and freewheeling sense of fun and accessibility. Plus it was one of those games that revelled in its open blue skies, from an era when racing games in the arcades loved to dazzle you with spectacle – like when a helicopter swoops low over the tracks. I had a demo of this on PC, too, and I used to race that one course over and over again.

After Burner (Arcade, 1987): there are a lot of arcade games in this list, but when they’re as cool as After Burner, what can you do? This was a technological masterpiece back in the day: a huge cockpit that enveloped you as you sat in the pilot’s seat, joystick in hand. The whole rig moved as you flew the plane, and the graphics (gorgeous for their time) wowed you with their speed and the way the horizon shifted. I was, of course, utterly crap at it, and I seem to remember it was more expensive than most games, so my dad hated me going on it. But it was the kind of thrilling experience that seems harder to replicate nowadays.

Virtua Cop (Arcade, 1994): I used to love lightgun games in the nineties. This despite being utterly, ridiculously crap at them. I can’t aim; ask anyone. But they felt really cool and futuristic, and also you could wave a big gun around like you were RoboCop or something. Virtua Cop added to the fun with its cool 3D graphics. Whilst I’d argue Time Crisis was better, with a little paddle that let you take cover, Cop again leveraged those bright Sega colours to give us a beautiful primary-coloured depiction of excessive ultra-violence and mass death.

Two Point Hospital (PC, 2018): back once again to the point-and-clickers, with another PC game only nominally Sega. But I can’t ignore it. Taking what was best about Theme Hospital and updating it for the 21st Century, TPH is a darkly funny but enjoyably deep management sim, with cute chunky graphics and an easy-to-use interface (Daughter #1 is very fond of it). The console adaptations are good, too. I’d love to see where Two Point go next. Maybe to a theme park…?

Jet Set Radio Future (Xbox, 2002): I never had a Dreamcast. But I remember seeing the original Jet Set Radio – maybe on TV, maybe running on a demo pod in Toys ‘R’ Us or something – and being blown away. It was the first time I’d ever seen cel shading, and it was a revelation; just a beautiful technique that I didn’t think was possible, that made the game look like a living cartoon. Finally being able to play the sequel on my new Xbox was terrific, because the gameplay was excellent too: a fast-paced game of chaining together jumps and glides, in a city that was popping with colour and bursting with energy. Felt like playing a game made entirely of Skittles and Red Bull.

The Typing of the Dead (PC, 2000): The House of the Dead games were descendants of Virtua Cop’s lightgun blasting, but with zombies. Yeah, cool; I liked playing them at the arcades down at Teesside Park, in the Hollywood Bowl or the Showcase cinema. But playing this PC adaptation of the quirky typing-based spin-off was something else. A game where you defeat zombies by correctly typing “cow” or “bottle” or whatever as quickly as possible? A game that was simultaneously an educational typing instructor and also a zombie murder simulator? The fact that the characters are wearing Ghostbusters-style backpacks made of Dreamcast consoles and keyboards is just a seriously crazy detail, and the way the typing was integrated into the gameplay – harder enemies had longer words, for instance – was very well done. A bonkers mini-masterpiece.

Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 (Switch, 2019): the very fact that erstwhile cultural enemies Mario and Sonic would ever share a game at all is the stuff of addled mid-nineties fever dreams; like Downey’s Tony Stark sharing the screen with Bale’s Batman (or Affleck’s Batman, who the hell cares at this point). The main thing is, it’s still crazy to think about it, even if it’s just entirely ordinary for my kids, sitting their unaware of the Great Console Wars of the 1990s. Anyway, divorced of all that pan-universal gladhanding, the games are good fun, adapting the various Olympic sports with charm, making them easy-to-understand party games, often with motion control for the benefit of the youngs and the olds. I don’t remember playing earlier games extensively, but the soft-RPG trappings of the latest iteration are enjoyable, especially the retro-themed events and graphics. Earns a spot in my Top Ten for its historic nature, but it’s also thoroughly enjoyable in its own right.

Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if all those crazy internet rumours were actually true, and Microsoft did announce it was buying Sega this E3? This really would feel like a very timely and in some ways prescient list.

[kasey9395]

BTS ON STAGE: THEN vs NOW

After watching the 2 HYYH concerts last night at BangBangCon D1 (whew, those Floor Seats were tough to get), I realized some interesting things that I probably knew before but didn’t consciously register it into my thinking. I was excited, as I’m sure many newer ARMYs were, because this was the first time we would be seeing some of BTS’ older concerts. Yes, I’ve seen countless clips from them but I’ve never seen one (pre-Wings era) in its entirety, so I was curious to see how the boys performed ‘back in the day’ and compare it to the juggernaut performances we are witness to today. Did they improve? Did they always slay? Did the songs connect more with the fans? I was intrigued.

Just for reference –

HYYH on Stage (SK) : 27th – 29th November, 2015.

                                     SK Olympic Handball Gymnasium (cap. 5000)

HYYH on Stage – Epilogue (SK) : 7th & 8th May, 2016.

                                     Olympic Gymnastics Arena (cap. 15,000)

Yes, these 2 concerts were roughly 5 months apart….Just 5 months.

Here goes:

1.   What they wore: Five months between these 2 concerts. F.I.V.E. And the difference in concert attire quality was staggering and probably indicated just how much of a boost the HYYH era was to BTS and BH in terms of finances. We know they were still struggling well into 2015 but to see it manifest in this manner, I don’t know, did something to me emotionally. For HYY, The boys had just 3 wardrobe changes (+1 with just a jacket added). Yes, their clothes looked cool (I loved their fashion concept for this era) but the quality in what they wore sometimes was blaring. It was so simple. Fast forward those five months to May 2016 and their attire and jewellery was more of the glitz and glamour we know the boys to have.

2.   Jungkook really…I mean REALLLLYY grew into his own in terms of stage presence and performing on stage at their own concerts. The Jungkook I know, absolutely owns the stage when he performs so I was a little taken aback watching HYYH as I felt his timidity and a bit of awkwardness at times on stage. But boy did that fly out the window in HYYH: Epilogue. Here, I saw the JK I know. Confident, cheeky, comfortable. I guess it just made me appreciate him more as I realized this natural charisma on stage we get today wasn’t always that natural to him.

By extension, I could also see a visible improvement in the comfort level of all the boys in being on stage in HYYH: Epilogue vs HYYH. They were all more playfully interactive with each other and their confidence level seemed like it sky-rocketed in those short 5 months.

3.   Jung Hoseok was always…ALWAYS the King of the Stage. I mean, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2019…it does not matter. J-Hope’s stage presence has always been top notch, bar none. I felt from him then what I feel from him now. And, after seeing them live, I can say without a doubt, Hobi should be everyone’s ‘concert bias’. That man simply owns a stage.

4.   BTS has always had stellar live vocals in concerts. It’s that simple. No explanation needed.

PS. Geez do I miss Tae’s husky growls in songs.

5.   This is just my personal opinion from what I felt last night, but I could almost tangibly feel a shift in their on-stage aura when they performed their more hip-hop oriented songs. It was almost like they were more comfortable performing that area of their discography. They truly came alive then.

6. Min Yoongi’s passion on stage while performing is always 100% true and ‘felt’. That man bares his soul every single time he raps.

7.   BTS’ aura needs a big stage to unleash its full potential. Yes, it’s true they will always own every stage they step on no matter its size, but seeing them in on that HYYH stage made me feel like they were restricted because I know what they can do when given the physical space to do so.

8.   Their goals for their careers were so ‘within the box’. I can now better understand why they were so emotional in playing at Citifield…a STADIUM…in a country outside of ASIA.

Ultimately, these concerts have shown just how far these boys have come, further than they ever thought possible (and that is no exaggeration), just how hard they have worked for every single ounce of success they have achieved, just how much they have earned that success and last but certainly not least…that when it comes to a stage, there a few in this this world, if any, that can even come close to their dominance.

[lovemesomesurveys]

“I’m going to stand on the ground like a skyscraper”

Is there a necklace that you wear all the time? No. I haven’t worn a necklace in years. How often do you wear skirts? Never. Do you enjoy baking? I used to, especially during the holidays. I haven’t done any baking the past few years, though. Do you have a large kitchen? No, it’s really small. Is anything sore on your body at the moment? Of course.

Do you like 3D movies? No. Where were you 3 hours ago? Sitting right here on my bed. Have you ever heard of Hot Chelle Rae? Yeah. I liked a couple of their songs. Do you know where Poland is? I know it’s in Europe. Are you afraid of dying? Yes. Are you wearing socks right now? Always. Do you speak your mind? I keep a lot to myself. If you found a wounded bird, what would you do? I honestly don’t know. I’ve never encountered a wounded bird. Ever rode on an elephant? No. Have you ever had braces? Yes, but not for my teeth.

“Cause I finally realize that I can’t get you off my mind”

Have you ever eaten a crayon? No. Do you like strawberries? Yeah. I haven’t had any in years, though. Wrestling or boxing? Neither. When's the last time you went to the mall? Last December. Have you ever gone Christmas Caroling? I have, actually. A few of us from the psych club I was in at my community college went caroling one year to a few different nursing homes. It was nice, they seemed to enjoy it. What song do you never get tired of? There’s numerous songs that will always be a favorite of mine. Do you have a favorite chef? No. Do you know who Travis Pastrana is? Yeah. What song pumps you up and makes you feel good? Hmm. What's bothering you right now? My back and the fact that I don’t feel well.

Favorite flavor of gum? Minty flavors. Does your school have air conditioning? How many mirrors do you have in your home? 5 that I know of for sure. That doesn’t include handheld mirrors, though. What does your wrapping paper look like for presents this year? I haven’t bought any, yet. Do you like Jay-Z? I’ve only liked a couple of his songs. However, the Linkin Park and Jay-Z collab album was/is dope.

“we’re gonna party like it’s your birthday”

What time was it 14 hours ago? 5:30PM. What's the craizest thing that happens in your hometown? Uh, high crime rates. :X Have any of your friends ever stabbed you in the back? Yes. What's your favorite city? Beachy, touristy cities throughout California. Have you ever laid on a hammock? I think I have as a kid. Who's the most famous person you met? Jamie Lee Curtis. Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend stolen from you? No. Where do you want to live someday? Near the beach. I’d love to have a beach home one day. Do you like your eyes? I wish I had blue or green eyes instead. Do you wear a watch? Nope. Do you like peanut butter? Yes. Do you tan easily? If I spend a day at the beach I’ll sunburn and then it turns into a tan. That’s the only time I spend a long period of time outdoors. Do you have sensitive skin? Yes. Do you care if people smoke/drink? Not in general, no. If it becomes a problem then yes. Has anyone ever gives you roses? Nope.

“every little thing that you do, I’m amazed by you”

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Sigh. I dozed off around 5AM and slept until 7AM and here we are now at 7:53AM. I don’t understandddd. D: I’m going to definitely attempt more sleep, but I have to call my doctor soon. Do you hate it when babies cry? If it’s loud and excessive it gets overwhelming and annoying. Would you like to get snake bites? (the piercing) Not now, but I wanted them back when I was like 16.  Would you move to a new state/country to be with the one you love? That’s one of those situations I’d have to be in to know what I’d do. It’s hard for me to even imagine cause I’ve never even been close to that before. It’s also hard for me to imagine ever moving far away from my family. I think I’d try to work something else out to be honest. Like, maybe they wouldn’t mind picking up and moving here? Why would I have to move?  What is your name? Stephanie. What do you plan on buying in the future? Christmas presents for my fam soon. Who is your favorite "That '70 Show" character? I don’t have one. I actually watched that show during its original run, but I tried again years later when I was older and couldn’t get into it. There is a mummy behind you. What do you do? Uh, run? What do you think of Miley Cyrus? I like her. Do you tend to think you are always right? Absolutely not. What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbies. I was obsessed. Do you think more about your funeral or wedding? Uh, neither.  Dinosaurs or unicorns? Unicorns, I guess. You need new jeans. Where do you go? I haven’t bought a new pair of jeans in years. I’d probably look at JCP first since that’s where I used to get them. I always found the perfect fit there. What do you think about Maroon 5? I like a lot of their music.

“someone pinch me, I must be dreaming again”

Have you ever snuck into an R-rated movie when you weren't old enough? Nah. How many Emily's do you know? I don’t know any. Have you ever slept in a tent outside? No. What's your favorite kind of Girl Scout cookie? I like all of ‘em really except for the coconut ones. Their newer cookie, Lemonades, are quite delicious. What do you hear at the moment? An ASMR video. Why do you think a lot of people left Myspace for Facebook? Facebook became cooler for some reason. I remember not wanting to make the move at all, I thought Facebook was lame lol. I just did it because everyone literally left. I don’t know about everyone else, but when it happened for me it was soon after graduating high school and Facebook was for college students, so I guess we just graduated from Myspace or something. *shrug* It’s crazy how quickly it flip flopped, though. Myspace became lame and now we all kinda laugh about it. Do you watch the Olympics? Nope. Have you ever been to Minnesota? No. What's the strangest thing you've seen on TV? Hmm. What do you miss most about elementary school? I miss being elementary school ages the most, but also school was fun back then. I liked the projects and music class and this thing called field day that we did on the last day of school every year that consisted of like relay games and whatnot. It was fun. Anything funny happen to you while you were at Wendy's? Uhh, no. I very rarely even go to Wendy’s. It’s been awhile. When's the last time you picked up a stick? I have no idea.

How often do you have camp fires? Never. I’d like to do bonfires in the fall.

“honestly, I haven’t been happy for a long time”

How long has your computer been on? Hours. Do you like chips and salsa? I used to love chips and salsa. I can’t eat spicy food anymore, though. :( Do you have any pictures of the guy you like? There’s no such guy at the moment. Ever touched a fish? I don’t think so. Maybe as a kid with my pet fish. When's the last time you uploaded pictures onto Facebook or Myspace? I uploaded a new profile picture last month on Facebook. Do you have any band-aids on right now? Nope. Ever had a blister? Yes. Not fun. Do you watch the show The Hard Times or RJ Berger? No. Have you ever voted for anything? Yeah, for elections and other smaller stuff. Do you like high top shoes? I can’t wear them cause they’re hard for me to get my foot into. Do you think those nerd glasses are cool? What are nerd glasses, exactly?

Do you own any t-shirts of your favorite band/singer? Yes. Have you ever worn a tie? No. Have you ever made dinner for someone? No, cause I don’t cook. Do you only listen to your muisc loud? No. I like to listen to it at a comfortable level. It varies, but never super loud.

“my give a damn’s busted”

Have you ever taken drama class? I actually did take two drama classes in community college. :O Shocking, I know. Have you ever rode a mechanical bull? Nooo. That would be very dangerous for me to do and I’d never even attempt it. Have you ever played on a basketball team? No. Ever stayed in a motel? Yes. What number was your jersey in high school? I didn’t have a jersey, I didn’t play any sports. Have you ever choked on something? Yes. I had one really traumatic experience that changed how I take my medicine ever since. That happened almost 10 years ago now, but ever since I’ve had to crush my pills. When I tried taking pills again not long after it happened, it literally felt like my throat was closing up every time and I was terrified of it getting lodged again. That day was really scary, my dad literally almost had to put his finger down my throat. Do you wear a belt? Nope, I only ever wear leggings. I’ve actually never worn a belt before, though. Do you have a rug in your room? No. Do you go camping during the summer? Nope. I have no interest at all in doing that. Do you carry a purse everywhere you go? Not anymore, but I used to. In most recent years it was a mini backpack. Where's your favorite place to get coffee? Honestly, I’m a basic bitch and just go to Starbucks, ha. It’s nearby and convenient and yeah. Plus, people hate on it but I actually like it. *shrug* I get really into it when they come out with their winter drinks, like they have now. I wish we had a Tim Hortons so I can see what that hype is all about. What's the last time you searched on Google? When’s the last time I searched on Google? Earlier. Which of these singers have the best voice: Katy Perry or Usher? I think they both sing well. They’re very different, you can’t really compare. What food is your weakness? Boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings from Wingstop. How many unread emails do you have right now? I don’t feel like checking at the moment.

[rika-kihira]

Rika Kihira - interview with SkatingChina after 4CC

A kind fan on twitter shared with us the translation of Rika’s interview with SkatingChina, done right after her win at 4CC. Thanks to our proof-readers for their editing!

You can find the original interview at this link, with some beautiful photos of Rika during 4CC ---> https://m.weibo.cn/status/4339891153804578?

Q - Did you sleep well last night? A - I slept from around 3.30am to 9.30am. After returning to the hotel, I used LINE, did some cooling down exercises to relax my muscles. I video called my grandmother, received messages of congrats from my father and sister. I met with my mum at the hotel.

Q - There were many unforeseen circumstances (at this competition), what left the greatest impression on you? A - The issue of my finger. Last year, there was a similar injury and there was a cast placed. Back then I worried that due to the immobility of the finger it could be dangerous to skate, so I didn’t practice the 3A for one to two months, but this time I immediately resumed training the day after my injury. At first, I could not succeed in the 3A, but after regaining composure, I attempted and succeeded in jumping a beautiful 3A. I initially planned to take out all 3As, but my condition improved, so I believe I overcame this ordeal.

Q - How different is winning 4CC from winning gold at GPF? A – Well...I didn’t really consider this question before, as I just thought of both as “international competitions”. This competition made me realise, no matter what obstacles I face, I should not give up easily. At GPF I focused on how to ensure my condition (peak) timed correct at the competition, but this time to even arrive at this condition was an effort. It was only until the morning practice before the free skate that I started feeling some confidence in my condition, and then I adjusted that so I only needed to stay focused. The pace was different from GPF, but I just thought I shall go on with all my might.

Q - Will you withdraw from the challenger event (Challenge Cup)? A - I will go for a thorough examination after I return back to Japan, and then make a decision based on the diagnosis. For now, I do not plan to withdraw.

Q - How do you view the assignment of challenger event? A - I am competing for (World Ranking) points, not because I want to make my schedule packed. I think it is beneficial to earn more points before Worlds, so I accepted the assignment.

Q - How do you plan to adjust your boots? A - For now, I have only changed the left boot. If everything stays fine, I will use this combination till Worlds. But to be safe, I have prepared another three pairs.

Q - Are you making use of the Challenger event to make adjustments before Worlds? A - I need to remember the feeling I had at the GPF of skating my short program clean. I hope to perform a perfect short at this event, to build confidence going into Worlds. Besides checking the SP, I want to adjust my condition to its best and have no worries.

Q - You mentioned GPF and 4CC are “international competitions” to you. What about the World Championships? A - Although all are competitions, but subconsciously I differentiate them into domestic and international ones. But I should and I hope to treat them all the same, to aim to give my best performance.

Q - Are you aiming for a World title, or even an Olympic gold? A - Every time after the free skate, I will pray for good results. I believe it will be the same for Worlds. However, during practice, I do not pray about things like placements. I think about how I can perform my two programs perfectly.

Q - Where did you go in the morning? A - I visited the person who helped dressed my finger to continue with the treatment, then I went to eat Italian food. My mother told me she ate at a really good Italian restaurant a few days ago, so she wanted to bring me. We looked at our schedule and found we only had time this noon, so we had our lunch at that restaurant.

Q - Did you go shopping? What do you like? A - I have not. I like things that are pink in colour and soft and fluffy. The plushies at home are pink in colour. Gifts from everyone are usually picked with suiting me in mind. As for myself, I am not particularly picky.

Q - What kind of impression do you think you give people? A - I never particularly think about this question, but I think the gifts people give me fit the impression I give. My mum often says that it is easy for others to know what I like, and I agree. I really like the colour pink, my bed sheet is in light pink, my bag, luggage and jacket are all in pink too. I realise I should take note about it. Recently, I have reminded myself to have self-control and buy things in blue or other colours too.

Q - Here at the 4CC you did not succeed in the 3A in the short program. At Worlds do you plan to have a layout with 3 3As (between SP and LP)? A - I have not yet performed 2 clean programs in competition, so I am motivated to plan 3 3As between my programs, and ensure that they are executed with quality, no negative GOE. My performance at GPF still had flaws, so performing 2 clean programs is my goal.

Q - Have you thought about your plans after this season ends? A - To increase the number of dance classes and to learn more English. My daily life is centered around training, and I train to perfect my programs and make no mistakes. Hence, I think maybe I should shake up the rhythm once, so it is easier for me to go back to the basics, to improve my dancing and foundations, and increase training in other core aspects outside of on-ice training.

Q - I heard you went to Ghislain Briand to change your technique on the Salchow- that it is more like launching up while grabbing a circle, and it is believed to be easier to execute? A - Although this method is not easier to execute the jump, but according to Ghislain, this method of jumping the Salchow makes it less prone to popping. Although I spent some time getting used to the change, I slowly adjusted and applied the technique to the triple Salchow too. During my training in Colorado, my 3S also became much more stable. I believe this is the reason why my success with 4S followed.

Q - Was the change a very difficult process? A - It was. Originally, I never jumped (the Salchow) this way, and it took a lot of time to adjust. Especially for my 3S, the axis was very tilted at the beginning, such that I wasn’t in the state to consider practicing the 4S. Afterwards, my 3S became stable, and because the foundation was there, I attempted the 4S and successfully landed it.

Q - What are the difference between the two methods specifically? A - The previous method does not allow the left foot to climb over the right foot, and on the ice when bearing weight, you do not use the right foot, so you rely on the left foot/leg to jump. (The current method) allows the right foot to take on some of the weight, but in the end require both feet to work together to jump. My current method is the way Hanyu-kun jump, while the previous one is the method Nathan Chen uses.

Q - So it is easier to jump the 4S than the 4T for now? A - Yes. I was not good at the Toeloop jump to begin with. When my condition is good I can jump it, but I often find my axis in air to be very unstable. Hence, I changed my entry into the Toeloop to a 3-turn, but I am not completely used to it. At the moment, the Salchow is more stable than the Toeloop.

Q - During the process of changing the salchow technique, did you take reference from Hanyu’s videos?                                                                          A - Yes, Ghislain will show me the slow motion replay of Hanyu-kun’s 4S. After watching it, I will have a better image in my mind on how to jump it. So I have always thought of it as a very useful reference.

Q - Did you personally manage to watch him jump close-up? A - There wasn’t any chance to. Even though we did meet at ice shows, he usually jumped the 4T. I hope there will be a chance for me to observe properly in the future.

Q - Previously, you had dance classes and you were seen dancing to Michael Jackson’s song with Satoko Miyahara. What kind of experience was it? A - It was different from the usual dance lessons. It is a style of dance that requires speed and accuracy. There are many things I need to pay attention in steps. Comparing to just remembering the steps, it was much more difficult to pay attention to every detail and I learnt a lot. The next time I go to Colorado, I can still experience such lessons and I hope to challenge myself to more types of music genres.

[shibyn]

and the wind sounds like the world’s sigh

persona 4 & 5 | shiho-centric, investigation team Near the end of May, Shiho transfers to a sleepy town called Inaba for a fresh start. However, Inaba isn’t the sleepy town her parents thought would be best for her— its on edge with unsolved mysteries, and Shiho finds that there’s a bit more behind what meets the eye regarding some of her classmates and a TV screen.

chapter 2 | 3.8k | ao3

Shiho smiles. She tries to force her grip on her phone to loosen up, even just a bit, so her knuckles don't creak against it. In the classroom beside her, Morooka shouts loud enough she's sure the whole school can hear him. It makes her tense up a bit-- he wasn't that pleasant of a teacher first impression wise. He had scoffed when she walked into the teacher's office, and he grumbled the whole way to the classroom. She just hopes today's an off day for him. 

Shiho jerks awake as thunder cracks outside her window. The shutters rattle outside, and she can feel her bones vibrating with the resonance. Sheets of rain crash against her window, deafening, yet a mere white noise compared to the thunder. Sudden alarm hums in her veins, and she groans, knowing she won't sleep anytime soon. Her mom told her about this, hadn't she--? The neighbor warned there was going to be a storm tonight. There's been a lot of storms recently, her mom recalled the neighbor's words. She rolls on her side and tries burying her head in blankets and pillows so it could maybe muffle it all, but it's fruitless. The air still cracks with the thunder and her whole room is lit with a flash. A dread settles in her bones when she looks towards her closet door. The Yasogami uniform hangs on the door handle like a mourning flag. The yellow looks solemn in the dark, occasionally illuminated a sickly glow by the lightning outside. She hadn't tried it on, yet-- it felt like an acceptance of her fate if she did, but-- really? She's already here. Might as well deal with it. Yet-- and yet-- The buzz of her phone is sudden, even in the noise around her. She feels around for it-- her hand eventually brushes against the plastic case underneath her pillow, and she pulls it out. Clicking it on, the brightness nearly blinds her for a moment, even though it's on its lowest setting. Ann [1:42 A.M.] hhhhhhhhhh inui's gonna killl meeeee i dont care about  the ancient olympics >:// can fail this test ,, pls,, i havent slept in days,,, Shiho snorts despite herself. The sky rumbles outside, and she keys out a response. Shiho [1:43 A.M.] idk... if you started earlier you could've had more time to sleep :// Ann [1:43 A.M.] what are u doing up young lady u better be going back to sleep and dont give me that!! u know my heart is dedicated to rewatching sailor moon Shiho [1:43 A.M.] says the one who messaged me sailor moon would want you to forgo watching her show and to study Ann [1:44 A.M.] have u even SEEN sailor moon? shed be in the same boat im in She's miles away, miles and miles away. It-- god, it's going to be awful, tomorrow-- Ann won't be there. She won't be there, she won't be there waiting at the metro, she won't greet her in the mornings with the smile that lights the days. She doesn't want to go, she can't go, she doesn't know anyone there, she doesn't want to go-- Shiho takes in a steadying breath. Her phone buzzes even though she hadn't responded. Ann [1:44 A.M.] ur first day is tomorrow, yeah? hows the uniform? Shiho [1:45 A.M.] [image attached] what are your words, oh fashion goddess Ann [1:45 A.M.] hm.... it'll look cute on u definitely one hell of a uniform... doesnt beat shujin plaid, tho ;)) have u gotten any sleep? Shiho [1:45 A.M.] I have, worry about yourself !! I dont wanna go The uniform looms in the corner of her eyes. She's tired, so tired, her knees ache, she wants to go home. But now this is home-- this house, in the middle of nowhere, Inaba, filled with moving boxes and tense silences and unspoken thoughts. It's been like that since she left the hospital, even at the old apartment back in Tokyo, and-- when has home felt like home? Ann [1:46 A.M.] i know im sorry ill be here for ya, yeah? just one year there you can do it!! Shiho squeezes her phone. She wishes she could have an ounce of the confidence Ann has for her. — Ann [8:14 A.M.] so?? first impressions?? Shiho [8:14 A.M.] its,, like any other school? maybe smaller than shujin? i might just be use to having the school smack dab in the center of the city, tho Ann [8:14 A.M.] isnt it just hills and hills out there?? god... its kinda spooky to think about that... no crazy tall buildings within miles... Shiho [8:15 A.M.] hey, i think it's pretty quant out here Shiho smiles. She tries to force her grip on her phone to loosen up, even just a bit, so her knuckles don't creak against it. In the classroom beside her, Morooka shouts loud enough she's sure the whole school can hear him. It makes her tense up a bit-- he wasn't that pleasant of a teacher first impression wise. He had scoffed when she walked into the teacher's office, and he grumbled the whole way to the classroom. She just hopes today's an off day for him. Ann [8:15 A.M.] sure, sure how does it feel?? being one with nature?? ahh the cool spring breeze, the pollutionless air--!! Shiho [8:15 A.M.] i think that pollution is finally messing with your head Ann [8:15 A.M.] HEY!!! The door slides open abruptly beside her, making her jump and nearly launch her phone down the hall. She shoves it quickly into her pocket, swiping at her skirt for dirt that wasn't there. Morooka sneers, which looks kinda strange with his overbite. "You kids these days and your damn phones..." he spits, and stalks back to the podium without another word. Her hands shake, so she clenches them to keep them still. She takes a deep breath, thinking, please let this be a woke-up-on-the-wrong-side-of-bed morning, and steps in after him. The first thing she notices is that the class is dead silent. They stare at her owlishly, and briefly, she thinks something's wrong. Is her uniform crooked? Backwards? Inside out--? Her hair weird? The humidity might've made it flick up in weird places-- She spent so long this morning making sure everything was alright, though it was more out of an anxious habit rather than to make a good impression-- Was-- was she walking weird? She straightens her back, eyes focused on her feet, right, left, right, left, one after the other-- she didn't think her limp was bad today-- Her fingernails bite into her palm and stands beside Morooka's podium. It's okay, it'll be okay, she thinks like a mantra, trying hard not to show her nerves. She won't--can't-- let something like being introduced to class let her stumble. They're looking because they're curious, she reasons, which does a significant amount to reducing the tension in her back, they're not looking because they're malicious. They're not looking because you walk weird. They're not. It's okay.

"Lets hurry an' get this over with before I waste any more of my time," Morooka says, scowling in her direction. The tension regrows along her spine from his scrutiny. Just as she opens her mouth to introduce herself, he cuts her off-- "Due to some trashy circumstances, this kid's been tossed to this dump not even a quarter through the stinkin' year. Couldn't even wait till the end of the semester, huh?" He looks towards her, as if actually asking her.

Her limbs suddenly feel like they're locking up under his mocking glare. Her mouth goes dry. Is this for real? she thinks, a bit astounded, because wouldn't the teachers here be warned of-- "I..." she starts, maybe to say something back, because he's looking at her like he wants an answer. But-- what is there to say? What answer can she give? She doesn't want to be here, he doesn't want her to be here, so-- Is this what it was like for Akira? Shiho thinks fleetingly, glancing towards her new classmates yet not at all-- none of them wear an expression, an indication, even a hint of what she should do-- he-- he had it so much worse, didn't he? People thought he was awful before he even stepped foot in the school-- "Well? Hurry an' tell them who ya are." He sounds agitated. He motions back towards the class like it's a dismissal. Shiho chews on the inside of her cheek and tries to steel her nerves. "I'm. I'm Suzui Shiho," she says, trying not to trip up with all the eyes on her, "It's nice to meet you." "You shits better not think about tryin' anything funny," Morooka says abruptly, his eyes darting from boy to boy with a nasty glare. "She's comin' straight from Tokyo, and while that place is a shithole and full of assholes, none of you baboons can measure up. I better not see any funny business goin' on later!" Are— are teachers allowed to curse this much? Shiho blinks, glancing towards him. She doesn't know whether or not to be grateful-- it's hard to tell with the mix of insults in his words. No one in the class looks put-off by his word choice, which doesn't exactly help. "You, you're gonna sit over there," he says, motioning vaguely in the direction of the second to last row of desks, near the door. She takes this as her leave, trying not to acknowledge the eyes following her as she sits down in her seat. The girl next to her is silent, staring openly, chin propped up in her hand, eyes half-closed. Some people towards the front of the class crane around in their seats, peering at her. She tries to ignore the stares, the whispers that quietly arise, and she twiddles her thumbs. This is awful, awful-- Soon enough, Morooka starts teaching (can she call it that? it's more aggressive than any teacher she's ever seen-- Ushimaru can’t even top it) and focus is shifted off her for a while. She slips her phone out of her pocket, trying to discreetly hide the fact that she's on it. Honestly-- she doesn't care. Her body's too tense and high strung and she really just wants to see Ann. Ann [8:16 A.M.] shiho? ya still there? Shiho [8:24 A.M.] I think my homeroom teacher beats ryuji in terms of how much he swears Ann [8:24 A.M.] oh!! did u just get introduced to your class!! how was it!! Shiho [8:24 A.M.] not. the best? i kinda just want the day to be over aren't you meant to be focusing on class Ann [8:25 A.M.] youre much more important than whatever ushimarus talking about :// besides!! u say that as if we didnt text each other during class time at all !! be sure to message me when your break and lunch is!! ill try to keep messages in those time so i dont get ya in trouble so early on so!! im gonna go radio silent for now so ya dont get scolded good luck!! ♥♥ message me if ya need anything!!! The corners of her mouth lift up ever so slightly. — Shiho's never been one for being the center of attention. It was just a guarantee, being quiet-natured and friends with a foreign-looking student that everyone seemed to have a vendetta against. Ann's always been the one to dispel unwanted attention previously, too. But she's not here-- so when a couple of students crowd around her desk after class ends, she can feel herself freezing up. "So, you're from Tokyo, too!" One peppy girl says, her hair pulled into a half pony tail. "What chance! It's so rare to get transfers here in the same year! And for them to be from Tokyo!" "I wonder if it's gonna be a trend, like more people from the city will come flooding in," the girl with glasses says. "How's the jump, huh?" The boy who sits in front of her asks, sitting backwards in his seat to face her. She bristles at the question, ice creeping in her veins. He grins innocently, to which she realizes of course they wouldn't know, don't worry, its just weird phrasing, "Seta-san didn't say much about it. What about you? From the city to the middle of nowhere?" Its quiet for a beat, and Shiho really wished they weren't looking at her. "It's... alright, I mean," Shiho says slowly, trying to choose words that aren't too strong in feeling. She had lived in Tokyo for her whole life, and the countryside is so, so different, but she doesn't know how to explain the feeling to these people. She doesn't think any of them will really understand what it's like to be plunged into silence after being surrounded by noise her whole life. "It's... kinda nice being able to see an actual hillside when I walk around, though?" The girl with glasses giggles at her response. "Nature over industry, right? Seta-san adjusted pretty quickly, so I don't think it should be a problem for you!" Well, sure. But that's also Seta-san. Seta-san probably wasn't booted from his home, his friends, his life, all because of the decisions that were outside of his reach, and then dumped off in a place so different, so far away from all he's known. She isn't Seta-san, and she doesn't want to be here. Shiho smiles instead and pinches the back of her hand. "Hopefully." "Have you had the chance to wonder around Inaba yet?" the boy in front of her asks idly. Shiho briefly wonders how long break is, so she doesn't have to sit through much longer of this. She wishes this could just end. She wishes the day would end. "I have," she says, trying to ward off the strain in her spine. "Um, I didn't get to see much, though. We only went to a noodle place, really, which wasn't far..." "Oh! You mean Shishio's Noodle Bar?" One of the girl chimes. Shiho can only nod yes, because she doesn't really know what place it was and it seemed like the proper thing to say. "I love that place! They just put the right amount of sauce on, and the perfect amount of meat in!" the girl gushes, "There's tons of independent restaurants around here, and all of them are incredible!! You really need to try them all, Suzui-san!" Shiho tries to say something back, maybe like the noodles were great or what are your favorite places or just ok, because that seems like the things to say, she can't just give up having an okay school year here just because she doesn't want to be here, right? Even if her skin is crawling at the prospect of conversation with strangers. Ann would want her to try, wouldn't she? And besides, these people-- they're trying to make the effort to talk to her, she has to at least respond. Maybe they want to be friends? But— she finds herself drowned out the second she opens her mouth. "Oh, have you been to the Steak House recently?" the glasses girl asks, unknowingly right over Shiho's quiet words, "they added a new flavor and a kebob option! It's super tasty!" "No way! I gotta try some now! You wanna come with me after school?" "Definitely! You wanna come, Asahi?" "Oh, hell yeah! I'd never pass up going to that place!" "We can go if it's not raining after school. I swear, all it's been doing is raining! Some spring it is..." "It's karma! We didn't get much snow, so now we have tons of rain." Ah. Suddenly, it's like a void has grown around her and the people lounging on the desks around her. She knows these people are trying, maybe, trying to welcome her here, to make her not feel lonely, maybe to be friends, but-- she doesn't feel there, not physically, with people talking all around her, and-- She squeezes her phone. It'd be rude to pull it out and text Ann, wouldn't it? These people seem nosey, they might ask her who-- "Ah, isn't the Steak House near where the police are hanging out, though?" The boy asks solemnly, arms crossed over the back of his chair. "The street might be blocked off, since they're investigating every corner of Inaba." The glasses girl grumbles aloud. "What a pain! I swear, they're just everywhere now-a-days, especially since Tatsumi went missing..." Tatsumi. Shiho remembers that name. She remembers the police officer asking her and her father, in the dark of night, if they knew where the kid was. Wasn't he a student at Yasogami? These-- these people don't seem particularly alarmed that he's missing. "I, uh--" Shiho starts, curiosity bubbling out of her. Should she even ask-- well-- it's a little late to recoil, with the curious expression on the boy's face and the two girls peering at her. She swallows, and starts again. "I-- who... who is Tatsumi Kanji?"

The reaction... isn't what she expected, if she's being truthful. The boy's mouth twists into a brief sneer, the girls scowling. It's like she spoke words of taboo, and not someone's name. "Tatsumi? He's just a punk." The boy waves it off, like he isn't someone missing. "All he knows how to do is pick a fight. Some first year asshole-- thought he was on top of the school..." "Don't worry about him, Suzui-san," one girl says politely, yet it's the furthest thing from it, "he's probably off with a gang doing who knows what-- drugs, getting drunk, whatever. He's total a creep." And. And it hits her like how it was with Akira. She remembers dimly, words of warning, pointing fingers, averted gazes, all regarding a transfer student with curly hair and dorky glasses, don't speak to him, he's a criminal, you know? Akira only wanted to live quietly, and yet-- his whole life in Tokyo, shattered, from day one. Yet-- yet he was nothing like what people said, he wasn't a bad person. Ann trusts him, trusts him wholeheartedly. She told Shiho that he's exactly the dork that he looks like, he loves Big Bang burger challenges, he loves cats, he's a prankster, he-- he didn't deserve to have everyone scorn him-- And she remembers the quiet confession of Mishima to her, his hands shaking violently, eyes glassed over, he told me to. He told me to ruin Kurusu's life, to share the criminal records. All because of Kamoshida-- Shiho doesn't know Tatsumi Kanji, doesn't know if he's actually a creep or a punk or an asshole, but he's still missing. Shouldn't-- shouldn't they in the least care--? "Hey, lay off." They all turn— there's a group of kids sitting in the middle section of the classroom, two of them glaring. The two glaring are both brunettes, and there's a black-haired girl trying to divert their attention, with quiet 'don't start a fight, you guys--' yet with a hard look in her eyes, and a gray-haired boy sitting down, a mix of a scowl and a simple frown on his face. His eyes are sharp, but he's not stand-offish as the other two. A girl scowls in front of her. "What are you talking about, Hanamura?" "Tatsumi isn't some creep or asshole. All of you just are judging him without knowing who he really is," the brunette girl says, fists clenched by her sides. "I don't know about that," the boy in front of her says languidly, "Don't you know the kind of deals he's been making with those biker gangs? He's a delinquent, through-and-through." The brunette boy looks ready to retaliate, but the bell cuts him off before he can start. The people around her disperse, her seat mate returns, and class starts. Shiho fiddles with her phone, and wants to leave. — Shiho resorts to fleeing from the classroom when lunch begins, hoping to avoid any curious classmates and to maybe figure her way around the building. She opted out for lunch, anyways-- she left the box on the counter, knowing that she might not be able to eat with her stomach roiling with nervous energy from being in this school. The halls are sparse with students. Some talking, some wandering, some staring. She bristles, knowing she’s like a sore thumb in this school-- in Inaba, really, which is apparently so countryside that a new family moving in was about the most intriguing thing around. That can’t possibly be true-- sure, Inaba wasn’t big, the high school even smaller, but there’s no way that this community was so tightly knit that everyone knew everyone so anyone outside of the goddamn place was the most interesting person around, with stories of places so far away. There’s a train station here, it can’t be like there’s no outsiders around. She just wishes Ann was responding so she could keep her attention off the lingering looks and curious glances. She heads up a flight of stairs, trying to scope a library she might be able to stake out lunch in for the rest of the school year. It’s always quiet in the library, and hopefully it’ll keep any students from trying to talk to her. Especially with just being there, in the classroom, surrounded but alone, included but only because of proximity-- she doesn’t think she has the guts to really talk with anyone today, anyways. She might not have the guts to talk in the next few weeks-- she’s never been the new kid, never been in a different house, never not been surrounded by busy streets, she’s only known her home in Tokyo. She can’t find the library or any club rooms, which is kinda strange. Maybe they’re on the first floor? There’s another set of stairs ahead of her; it’s either the rooftop, or another floor that might have them. She doesn’t see anyone else heading up, so it must be the roof? Ah. Well, she’s still got time to explore. The roof might be a place of solitude if the library isn’t. Kinda ironic, she thinks fleetingly, footsteps quiet as she goes up. The hallway is bright with light from a set of doors-- it’s the roof. There’s no signs or anything to keep students out, so Yasogami must be one of those schools where the roofs are open. Shujin wasn’t, but it’s not like anyone really cared. She briefly wonders how things would be if they did. She opens the door, and the wind immediately seems to pick up the second she does, sending her hair whipping around behind in her pony tail.  The air’s weighty with rain soon to come, but it’s only fairly cloudy out. Ah, wow-- the roof is clean, free of abandoned desks and instead has an applaudable amount of solar panels set up. There’s a couple of students up here already, talking amongst themselves and picking at bento boxes resting on their laps. It’s a big, open space. It’s nearly strange not to see tall buildings blotting out the sky, or casting long shadows over the rooftop. It sets the roof as a whole different entity in her mind-- her knees ache, but not in the same crippling way they did on Shujin’s, when she stood up there with Ann and Akira and tried to keep face while looking down. It’s bright, clean, and she can see the sky. So. Maybe it is a kind of fresh start. She still hates Inaba and wants to be back in Tokyo, but hey, it’s something.

[iwroteinapastlife]

Here I am again with the chlonath fake dating AU no one asked for. Read it on AO3 here!

Enjoy! <3

Was painting her under the glow of the rainbow Christmas lights too much?

Well, okay, rephrase. Was giving her a painting of herself under the glow of the rainbow Christmas lights too much? Because, if he was being honest, there was a very slim chance that he wouldn’t paint it anyway. The question was whether that would be a gift that she would appreciate or find creepy.

He had painted her before, plenty of times. And she knew that. She had even deigned to model for him on occasion. But those had all been paintings of Queen Bee, not Chloé.

Well…okay. He had also painted Chloé before. But she didn’t know that. He hadn’t told her. Just like he hadn’t told her he…loved her.

Nathanaël tasted blood. He was chewing the inside of his cheek again. Damn it. He forced himself to stop and tried to focus on the dishes in front of him instead, intently watching the way the hot water glided over the surface of the plate, washing away the soap bubbles. Not thinking about Chloé. He set the dish on the drying rack and picked up the next one. Still not thinking about Chloé. He scrubbed the frosting off the bowl in his hands. Definitely not thinking about the way Chloé had swiped a finger in the frosting when she didn’t think anyone was watching. He washed off one of the icing knives and didn’t think about how much Chloé’s face had lit up when he’d handed her a cookie decorated specially for her. He most certainly wasn’t thinking about how much he loved seeing that glowing smile on her, especially knowing that he had caused it, and especially knowing how stressed she had been all day with the various family members arriving at the house, specifically her mother.

He sighed and didn’t notice as he drew his cheek in between his teeth again. It wasn’t the first time he had seen her stressed like that of course—in fact, he had seen her much worse. Like that time when Chef Césaire and the rest of her cooking staff had fallen ill the night before the hotel’s annual investors dinner. Or the time when Papillon figured out that Ladybug and Chat Noir were both out of town so Chloé, Alya, and Nino were left to defend the city without the miraculous cure.

Compared to that and countless other times he had seen the blonde stressed out? Her mother arriving was practically nothing. Chloé handled herself with a certain level of grace—like she always did—even when her hand was squeezing his so tightly he had bruises. Even when she had to practice deep breathing exercises every five minutes to keep calm every hour when her mother inevitably said another slap-in-the-face-type comment.

She really was…such a strong person.

And that’s what made it so absolutely heartbreaking to see her break down crying the way she had the night before.

He tasted blood again. Crap. He forced his mouth to sit still, locking his jaw and glaring down at the pan in his hands as he vigorously scrubbed the burnt cookie pieces off. He just wished there was more he could do for her than just…be there next to her. All he had managed to be was a shoulder to cry on (literally) and a hand to hold (literally), but what good was that when she was still so—

Nathanaël stood upright, pausing all movement as two arms suddenly encircled his waist from behind. Not a second later, his momentary panic settled down, the familiar scent of Chloé’s shampoo falling over him as she leaned her head on his shoulder. He was glad she couldn’t see his face then—he was sure it was falling deeper into shades of red by the second.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her cool breath sending a trail of goose bumps along his skin.

“They’re just dishes, it’s no big deal,” he responded in a low voice, smiling to himself and wishing more than he ought to that they could stay in that position forever. Her hold around his waist tightened just the slightest bit, sending all sorts of butterflies fluttering through him.

“Not for that, stupid.” He chuckled at her ever-loving insults. “For being here with me. It means a lot to me.”

He huffed a tiny, self-deprecating laugh. “I feel like I’m not doing anything.” She squeezed even tighter.

“You are.” Then, Nathanaël knew he was living up to the namesake of “tomato”, when Chloé very simply pecked him on the cheek. It was funny. Even after all the cheek kisses and the lip kiss that they had shared for her family, that small gesture—because it was 100% genuine—was the one that floored him. “Thank you,” she repeated. And with one last squeeze, she was gone, leaving the redhead with a blush to match his hair and a stomach back flipping its way to the Olympics.

[watchingthesuperbowl]

Notes taken during Super Bowl LII

KITTEN AND PUPPY BOWLS

Is this the first-ever Kitten Bowl to go to overtime? Tied at 28. Feline Manning throws deep. Macaroni grabs it in the end zone. Touchdown! 34-28 Panthers, final score.

I've never thought much of Feline Manning in the regular season, but you can't argue with his results in the Kitten Bowl.

There's a new Puppy Bowl stadium? This is embarrassing. The taxpayers are getting fleeced again.

OH HELL YES. THE REFEREE AT PUPPY BOWL IS A SLOTH.

Update: Puppy Bowl is tied at 14 after a quarter. It's anybody's game.

Dammit. Should have called it a pupdate.

Puppy Bowl is 24-21 in the second quarter. It's quickly becoming apparent that dogs can't play defense.

Pupdate: Fluff 28, Ruff 24. Presumably, we're deep into the second quarter.

Now it's 31-28 Ruff. Still in the second quarter. I'm sure Puppy Bowl XIV is on track to destroy the all-time record for total points scored in a single game.

Last second touchdown! Fluff pulls off a 52-47 win over Ruff!

PREGAME

Okay, I've got a beer, dinner is on its way, and I'm settling in to finish this project. The only reason I've finished this is that I'm a stubborn SOB. This hasn't been fun for about 6-7 months now.

A feature about Tom Brady's mom. She had cancer in 2016 and was only able to be at one of his games, Super Bowl LI. A nice story.

Oh, cool, now Dan Patrick asked Brady when he knew he could be great. It's no longer a heartwarming story about his mom, now it's about slurping on Brady.

Patrick comparing Brady to Michael Jordan. Brady says he doesn't think about that very often. Could never be compared to his childhood heroes.

Brady has no idea how he'll fill the void when he retires. Maybe coach his kids. He's happy his kids are old enough to see him play. His son didn't pick him in fantasy football. Took Cam Newton instead.

You know what NBC should do more of? Talk about Tom Brady. I wonder where they rank him on the all-time list.

Now it's a feature about the Eagles defense. Not a ton of big names, says Chris Long, but they have a bunch of good players.

And then they end it with more about Tom Brady. Good. More of that, please. I never get sick of it.

One thing I've noticed, in watching all these Super Bowls, is that the team with the better defense wins more often than you'd expect. If one team is offense-reliant and the other is defense-reliant, the defensive team wins a bunch of games. That would be the Eagles here.

Rodney Harrison: Patriots will run short passes and screen passes to avoid the Eagle pass rush.

Commercials. Zelle. Applebees has a quesadilla burger. George Washington crossing the Delaware Turnpike for Geico. Turbotax. Promo for a new NBC series, Good Girls. It's not about puppers, unfortunately. Promo for the Olympics.

NBC bumps in with a bunch of sound bites from Eagles and Patriots fans. The Patriots remain the worst. I hope this old guy gets to see an Eagles championship.

Rodney Harrison: Tom Brady gave me a hug, told me he loves me, and gave me a little wink. I've seen that wink before. That means he's going to have a big game.

Dungy and John Harbaugh talk about how loose and calm the Eagles seem. Harrison says the Patriots need to come out and start fast. Can't fall behind the Eagles like they did last year against Atlanta.

Harrison picks the Patriots. Harbaugh picks the Eagles, says they'll hold New England under 24. Dungy picks the Eagles, says he's fallen in love with Nick Foles. Dan Patrick doesn't pick anybody. It's good to be the host.

Commercials: HQ trivia. You can watch the game in Spanish on Universo. Local ad for Tim Hortons. Local ad for Columbus Cyberknife prostate cancer treatment. State Farm insurance. State of Ohio PSA saying you shouldn't drive drunk. YoutubeTV. The commercial for Youtube TV includes a bunch of NBC programming.

Time for the "Youtube TV kickoff show". Starts with a Carrie Underwood song. Great. This is where I need a fast forward button.

There's a rap breakdown in the middle of this Underwood song. They show Super Bowl legends including Roger Staubach during that part of the song. Staubach has been one of my absolute favorite players to watch in these Super Bowls, but he is the least "hip hop" person on earth.

Al Michaels: This is a league built for parity and the Patriots are on the cusp of their sixth championship in 17 years. Eagles have a history of success, but have never won a Super Bowl.

Cris Collinsworth: Everybody knows Tom Brady, but not Nick Foles. But Foles is capable of having a tremendous game. Had one of the greatest seasons in NFL history in 2013. Chip Kelly says you're welcome.

Commercials: A really long commercial for Mass Mutual that involves people singing a Pretenders song. Red Sparrow.

Eagles walk out to the field. NBC runs a montage of their players introducing themselves. "Donnie Bag of Bones Jones" is the punter.

Patriots now. "Chris Hogan, Penn State lacrosse." I wouldn't want to be associated with their football program either. (Also, he didn't play football in college.)

It's very clear very early who the fans in the stadium want to win. The Patriots are loudly booed as they take the field.

Commercials: Kraft, US Bank, Mercedes Benz, Terrell Owens for Pizza Hut, Winter Olympics Promo.

Walter Payton NFL Man of the Year Award. J.J. Watt, unsurprisingly. He did a ton of work to raise money for hurricane relief after Houston got leveled.

America The Beautiful. Leslie Odom Jr. I genuinely have no clue who this person is. He can sing, though. He nails it.

It turns out Leslie Odom Jr. played Aaron Burr in Hamilton. This would explain why I don't know who he is.

The Star Spangled Banner. Pink. She also nails it.

Commercials. I spaced out and may have missed one. The Quiet Place. Lionel Richie for TD Ameritrade. Big Mac.

Michaels: What's the most likely way the Eagles win this game? Collinsworth: The offensive line and defensive line. They need to be able to run the ball and they need to be able to pressure Brady without blitzing him. It's hard to imagine that this game could come down to anything other than Tom Brady.

Coin toss: Medal of Honor winners. Very cool. Herschel "Woody" Williams will toss the coin. Won the Medal of Honor for valor at the Battle of Iwo Jima in World War II.

The referee called him Willie Williams. Oof.

Now he called him Corporal Wilson.

Eagles call tails. It's heads. Patriots defer, Eagles will receive.

Michele Tafoya: Eagles coach Doug Pederson told Nick Foles "You're not Tom Brady. Be Nick."

Commercials. I spaced out again. Is there a new Jurassic Park movie? There was a thing for that. Also YouTube TV.

NBC bumps in from commercial with a bunch of sound bites from past Super Bowl heroes. Staubach, Namath, Hines Ward.

FIRST QUARTER

Okay, kickoff time

Line-drive kickoff. Clement takes it out to the 25.

First play, pass right to Agholor. 5 yard gain.

Agholor for 2 more yards on second down. Michaels says Foles completed 15 passes in a row at the end of the NFC championship game. It's 17 in a row now.

18 in a row. Foles buys time on third down and hits Alshon Jeffery for 15 yards or so.

Well, there's an incomplete pass. Torrey Smith can't come up with the ball on a 2nd and 12 downfield pass.

Smith more than makes up for the incompletion - goes up the ladder to make a 15 yard catch on 3rd and 12. Eagles approaching field goal range.

Eagles running a bunch of "RPO" plays. (Run-pass option.) Ajayi runs for six on first down. Next play is a screen pass to Corey Clement. Takes it to the New England 5. The Patriots were blitzing and got burned. First and goal.

2nd and goal from the 2. False start on tight end Zach Ertz. Ouch. Offensive penalties inside the 5 are brutal.

Yep, that false start penalty was a killer. After incomplete passes on second down and third down, the Eagles will attempt a field goal.

Got it. A chip shot field goal ends a 14-play game opening drive. 3-0 Eagles. NBC bumps out to commercial with "The Underdog" by Spoon, which is cool.

Commercials: Toyota supports the Paralympics. Sprint has a Westworld parody

Eagles kick off. It's a touchback. Then more commercials.

Commercials: Solo, a Star Wars story. With Donald Glover! Nothing brings it down quite like Dr. Oz in the next commercial. Ugh. Go away. Turkish Airlines. He is Turkish, so there's that. Promo for a new show called Rise. Looks like a musical. Great.

Stop me if you've heard this before. Brady completes a short, outside pass to James White for a first down. 15 yards. Next play is a pass to James White. Because all he does is catch passes in the Super Bowl. That play's wiped out after a 12 men on the field penalty on the defense.

Brady to Chris Hogan underneath, coming across the middle, for a gain of 28. They're inside the Philadelphia 30. Next play is an end around to Hogan for four yards.

Brady to Gronkowski coming across the middle. Another completion, another first down at the 14.

Oh, hey, it's a completion to James White. Gains six yards, down to the 8.

NBC is using a white line to mark the line of scrimmage which is horrible and I hate it. I can't tell which is the line of scrimmage and which is the 10 yard line. Brady throws behind Gronk on third down and the Patriots settle for a Gostkowski field goal attempt.

Yup. 26 yard field goal for Gostkowski. 3-3, late first quarter.

Commercials: Bud Light with a Dilly Dilly ad that I've seen before. M&Ms. The red M&M turns into Danny Devito, who walks down the streets of New York asking if people want to eat him. Promo for the halftime show. Justin Timberlake. Winter Olympics promo.

Kenjon Barner with a decent kickoff return. Kenjon is my dude. Thrilled that he's had an NFL career. Incredibly cool guy.

Big, big run for another Duck, LaGarrette Blount. 36 yard rumble into New England territory. Collinsworth says the Patriots asked Blount to take a pay cut, he said no, and went to the Eagles.

TOUCHDOWN! Foles deep to Alshon Jeffery, who makes an incredible grab in the end zone.

Ugh, they blew the extra point. 9-3 Eagles.

A good article about Barner. He studied, among other things, ballet dancing at Oregon.

Commercials: Ram trucks, Wendy's. Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.

HEY, JEFFERY. NICE CATCH, JEFFERY.

Commercials: A Hulu show from Stephen King and J.J. Abrams. Heroes Arena mobile game. Olympics promo.

The Patriots look very human at this point. Which, yeah, it's the first quarter of the Super Bowl. Gronk false start, Brady overshoots Hogan, and it's 3rd and 7.

Hey, you guys? You might want to cover Danny Amendola. Amendola is wide open deep and Brady hits him. First down at the Philadelphia 29.

Collinsworth: Eagles defense led the league in highest percentage of threes-and-out in the regular season, but they're struggling with New England's fast-paced offense.

First quarter ends. Philadelphia 9, New England 3.

Commercials: Peter Dinklage for Doritos. Morgan Freeman for Mountain Dew Ice. Both are lip-synching rap songs. David Harbour for Tide. Skyscraper starring Dwayne Johnson.

289 yards of total offense in the first quarter between the two teams.

SECOND QUARTER

Third down, Brandin Cooks on a jet sweep. Tries to jump over a tackler but can't get that done.

New England botches a field goal attempt. Holder drops the ball, Gostkowski has to stop, then start, then drills it into the left upright. Big break for Philadelphia.

Foles with a nice move to avoid a sack on third and long. Probably could run for a first down but throws to Ertz. Incomplete. Donnie Bag of Bones Jones to punt.

Fair catch at the 37.

Commercials: Another Dilly Dilly ad for Bud Light. ETrade. A movie. I was looking away. Mission Impossible? Is there one of those? Olympics promo. After the game, "This is Us".

Brady to Cooks downfield for 23. Gets absolutely annihilated by Malcolm Jenkins and he's not moving. There was a bit of helmet-to-helmet contact. Commercial time.

Commercials: Rocket Mortgage. Avocados from Mexico. The Cloverfield Paradox.

We're back from commercial. Cooks has been taken to the locker room. There was no penalty on the hit because he was a runner and not defenseless.

Third down, the Patriots run a reverse/throwback play, a pass to Tom Brady. Incomplete - Brady dropped the ball. They go for it on 4th and 5 from the 35. Incomplete pass. Turnover on downs.

Commercials. Diet Coke with Mango, Jeep, Tide, WeatherTech. Halftime show promo.

Michaels: Patriots DB Malcolm Butler has played zero defensive snaps today. The team says it's "a coach's decision".

Foles downfield to Zach Ertz, First down at the New England 43.

Great throw and catch from Foles to Jeffery downfield. 22 yard gain.

Next play, LaGarrette Blount! Blows through the defense for a 21 yard touchdown. 15-3 Eagles. They go for two, which I absolutely hate. Incomplete pass. It's still 15-3.

Commercials: Pringles. Febreze. Chris Pratt for Michelob Ultra.

Anyway, back to the "going for two" thing. I wouldn't do it until I absolutely had to. The second quarter is not that time.

NBC graphic: Most championships by a coach/QB combo: Belichick-Brady and Lombardi-Starr are tied with five.

Cutaways: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez. Mike Trout, who Al Michaels calls a California Angel. Missed it by a couple decades, Al.

Big play from Brady to Burkhead. A screen pass - he nearly breaks it for a touchdown. Gets it to the Eagles' 29.

Third and 8, the Eagles completely blow up a screen pass with backfield penetration. Brady throws it away. Gostkowski kicks a 45 yard field goal. 15-6. And that's why you kick the extra point. A ten point lead is so much better than a nine-point lead.

Um, hello? The screen has gone black. I don't know what just happened. No commercials. They go back to the stadium after 10-15 seconds.

Tafoya: Brandin Cooks will not return. He has a "head injury". Patriots now have a total of three wide receivers available.

Michaels: Foles nearly retired when he was released by the Rams. Decided there was only one coach he'd play for, Andy Reid of the Chiefs. Reid wanted him.

Collinsworth: I love what Nick Foles is doing. When the Patriots blitz, he's throwing the ball to the area vacated by the blitzer.

Big run from Ajayi on third and 4. Inside handoff, looks like he's in trouble, and he bursts through the hole to the New England 43.

Huge break for the Patriots. Alshon Jeffery makes a one-handed catch downfield inside the 10 but the ball squirts loose, hits him on the other hand, and bounces to a New England defensive back for an interception.

Commercials: Squarespace, Dodge Ram uses a Martin Luther King speech to sell trucks, which is unbelievably gross.

Gross.

Brady deep to Chris Hogan inside the 30. Next play, James White breaks about eight thousand tackles on a 26 yard touchdown run. Patriots doing Patriots things right before the half.

Gostkowski blows the extra point. 15-12 Eagles as we hit the two minute warning.

Nope.

Huge play for the Eagles on third and 3. Corey Clement runs a swing route down the right sideline and Foles lofts it to him for a 55 yard gain inside the 10.

Next play, Clement powers up the middle to the 2. Nice power run from a third-down back. Clement again on second down. Up the middle again, gets to the 1. Patriots call timeout. 0:40 left.

Good lord, Alshon Jeffery got tackled in the end zone before the ball got there. Incomplete pass. They'll line up to go for it on fourth and goal.

Timeout, Eagles. They want to think about this. The offense is back on the field.

OH WOW. OH WOW.

Direct snap to Clement, flips it to Trey Burton, who throws to a wide-open Foles in the end zone. Touchdown. 22-12 Eagles with 0:34 left in the half.

Once again, Al Michaels says Mike Trout plays for the California Angels.

Patriots have the ball at midfield with 0:03 left. They're lining up for a Hail Mary.

They don't run a Hail Mary. They throw a swing pass to Amendola, who gains 20 yards as the half ends.

At halftime: Philadelphia 22, New England 12

Eagles coach Doug Pederson on the fourth down call at the 1: Our guys marched downfield and I wasn't going to let them get stopped at the one.

HALFTIME

There are commercials happening, but I'm going to grab a snack and a drink. It's a local break anyway.

Commercials: "Unsolved" on USA Network. Pepsi.

Halftime show. Justin Timberlake. Opens with an unbelievably cool laser show under the stage. Now he's coming upstairs into the stadium. Not sure what's with the wardrobe choice. A black leather jacket with fringe and a bandana tied around his neck.

Justin Timberlake isn't my thing musically, but this has been a good halftime show. Better than the Coldplay/Beyonce thing. Better than the Black Eyed Peas. He seems to be changing stages for every new song.

Timberlake doing a "duet" with Prince, which is something Prince was pretty adamant about opposing when he was alive.

Mental note: Make a GIF of the saxophone guy Timberlake walked by just now.

I remembered. Look at sax guy on the left. He's the new Left Shark.

Okay, halftime show over. It was good. Not the best I've ever seen, but solid.

Commercials: A "Jack Ryan" series on Amazon, which seems like exactly the sort of show you'd make if you didn't want me to watch it. Verizon.

Dan Patrick: This is the first game in NFL history to be 22-12 at halftime.

Commercials: Promo for The Voice. Spectrum cable. Giant Eagle. This is obviously a local break. PSA about drinking and driving.

This is the first Super Bowl in history where both QBs were over 200 yards passing in the first half.

Tafoya: Asked Belichick why Butler wasn't playing. He said he makes decisions to give his team the best chance to win. Belichick says they need to do everything better in the second half.

THIRD QUARTER

First play of the second half, Brady misses a wide open Gronk.

They connect on the second play of the half. 25 yard completion downfield to the 50. Next play, Brady to Gronkowski again. 24 yards this time, to the Philadelphia 26.

3rd and 6, Gronkowski again. First and goal at the 8.

It's all Gronk, all the time. Brady zips it to Gronkowski in the end zone on second and goal. 22-18, pending the extra point.

This is not optimal defensive positioning.

Got it this time. 22-19 Eagles. Brady up to 344 yards passing with more than 12 minutes left in the third quarter.

Commercials. Anheuser Busch. Turbotax.

My dude.

Eagles called for a block in the back on the kickoff return. They'll start this drive inside their 20.

Third and 6, Eagles trying to avoid a three-and-out. Agholor with a catch underneath, breaks a tackle to pick up the first down.

A couple of nice runs from Blount and they're into New England territory.

Collinsworth suspects something's up with Jay Ajayi and maybe it is, but Blount has been great.

Ajayi looked okay on that run. Gains 9 on 2nd and 10 and gets to the New England 40.

3rd and 1, Foles to Ertz down the sideline. Gets to the Patriots' 26.

3rd and 6, Foles throws into the end zone. What. a. throw. Corey Clement double covered and the ball is perfect. Looks like Clement bobbled the ball. It's under review as NBC goes to commercial.

Commercials: Jeep. Westworld on HBO. Turbotax.

Ruling on the field stands. Touchdown. It was a close call. Collinsworth is flabbergasted. I don't know what a catch is anymore, to be frank, but I've seen worse calls than that. Extra point is good. 29-19 Eagles.

Commercials: Kia. Blacture.com. Eli Manning mumbling incoherently for something or other. Olympics promo.

Eagles called for defensive holding. Gronk sold it well.

2nd and 8, Dion Lewis up the middle for 6. 3rd and 2 from the Eagles 45.

Brady downfield to Amendola on third and 1. Amendola to the 26 yard line. Next play, Brady to Hogan, who falls into the end zone. Got it. Touchdown. 29-25 with the extra point to come.

Extra point is good.

Commercials: Avengers. T-Mobile. Jesus Christ Superstar promo.

Cutaways: Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton, Floyd Mayweather, Jimmy Fallon, Bradley Cooper.

Commercials: Toyota. Wix. Kraft. The Today Show.

Brady is 19-32 for 404 yards, 2 TD, 0 INT.

First play of the next drive, Folds downfield to Agholor. First down near midfield. Next play, Foles to Torrey Smith. 18 yard gain.

Jet sweep to Agholor for 9 on 2nd and 8. First down inside the New England 25.

NBC graphic: The two teams have combined for 955 total yards, the most in Super Bowl history. And it's still the third quarter.

Third quarter ends. The Eagles have a 3rd and 3 from the New England 15 yard line.

After three quarters: Philadelphia 29, New England 26

Commercials: NFL promo. ADT. Ohio Northern University. Obviously this is a local break. State Farm.

FOURTH QUARTER

Patriots blow up a swing pass to Agholor on third down. Eagles will presumably attempt a field goal after a loss of 8.

Jake Elliott drills a 42 yard field goal. Sets the record for the longest field goal kicked by a rookie in the Super Bowl. 32-26 Eagles. AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T GO FOR TWO IN THE SECOND QUARTER.

Commercials: Monster headphones. Michelob Ultra. Groupon.

It's a Rex Burkhead kind of drive for New England. Burkhead run for 5, then Burkhead for 9, then Burkhead for 4.

3rd and 3 for the Patriots. It's clear from motion that the defense is in man coverage, so Brady throws to Amendola. Because that's what he does in man coverage. First down. Next play is a pass downfield to Amendola. First down at the Philadelphia 20.

Hey, have I mentioned HOW BAD AN IDEA IT IS TO GO FOR TWO IN THE SECOND QUARTER?

Swing pass to Amendola for 9. Second and 1 inside the 10.

James White up the middle. First and goal at the Eagles' 3.

Brady is up to 453 yards passing. Throws incomplete on first and goal. Gronk. Brady into the end zone for his big tight end. It's tied at 32, which Michaels describes as the Patriots' first lead of the game.

Brady is now up to 457 yards and 3 TD.

Extra point is good. 33-32 Patriots.

Commercial: Amazon Alexa.

"So I said to myself 'We need that point. We have to get it back. We need to go for two.'"

2nd and 6, Foles throws deep to Smith on a one-on-one jump ball. It falls incomplete. Weird play. It's a huge third down here.

HUGE PLAY. Foles to Ertz for 7 on 3rd and 6. Nice throw.

Clock under 7:00 as Foles throws to Clement. Seven yard gain on 2nd and 8. It's third and 1.

Eagles throw on third and 1. Ugh. It's a swing pass and it's stuffed. Pederson will go for it on 4th and 1.

WHEW. They threw the ball and picked it up. Foles to Ertz for 2. Clock below 5:00. Eagles near midfield.

Philadelphia uses a timeout with 4:52 left in regulation. They have two left.

Commercials: Coke. Peyton Manning for Universal Parks and Resorts. The World Cup on Telemundo.

Nice play by Agholor. Foles escapes the pocket and hits Agholor on the run at the sticks. First down. 3:30 and counting. First and 10 from the New England 43.

Agholor again! Foles zips it to him across the middle. There was a tiny window to complete that pass and he did it. First down inside the 25. The clock is about to become a factor here - the Eagles are likely to take the lead, barring a turnover. The question is how much time Brady will have and how many points he'll need.

Foles is up over 350 yards now. It's pretty obvious that the winning quarterback is going to be the MVP.

1,081 total yards tonight. The most in any NFL postseason game, ever.

Foles to Agholor for 10 yards to the Patriots' 14. Forced out of bounds.

Ajayi for three yards up the middle. Patriots burn their second timeout with 2:30 remaining in regulation. It'll be 2nd and 7.

Incomplete pass on second and 7. Third and 7 here. 2:25 left. Brady's going to have some time, it looks like. If they can get 8 yards on this play, that would be perfect.

TOUCHDOWN! I think. Yeah, that's a touchdown. He had the ball, took a few steps, and dove into the end zone. Ertz took three steps before the ball hit the ground. It seems obvious that this is a touchdown. Collinsworth thinks they have to overturn it. I think he's insane.

I don't see how this is a close call. He caught the ball, started running, dove, got over the goal line, and then the ball popped loose. How is this a question?

What is Collinsworth smoking?

Yeah, they call it a touchdown. That was an easy one, I think. Collinsworth is silent.

Eagles up 38-33. They'll go for two.

Nope. Incomplete pass. AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T GO FOR TWO IN THE SECOND QUARTER. DAMMIT.

Brady has 2:21 to put together a touchdown drive.

Collinsworth is still talking about this?

Michaels: In all five Super Bowls Brady has won, he has come back to win them.

Brady to Gronk for 8. 2:16.

BRADY FUMBLES! HOLY CRAP! EAGLES RECOVER.

The game isn't over, but it's damn close. Start chilling nem bottles of champagne.

We reach the two-minute warning with 1:56 left. It'll be third and 5 from the New England 26. They'll run the ball, get the clock down to 1:20 or so, then either kick a field goal (if they don't pick up the first down) or take a knee (if they do).

Blount stuffed on third down. Clock will be down to 1:10 before the field goal attempt. Eagles take a timeout with 70 seconds left.

46 yard field goal, dead center from Jake Elliott. Eagles up 41-33 with 1:05 left. Hell of a clutch kick by a rookie.

Patriots try to run a trick play on the return, but Burkhead is stuffed at the 9. Brady needs to go 91 yards in 58 seconds.

1st and 10, incomplete to Hogan.

2nd and 10, incomplete to White. 0:48 left.

3rd and 10, Brady under pressure in his own end zone, gets the throw off. Incomplete. It's 4th and 10. Now or never.

Complete to Amendola for 12 yards. They spike it with 26 seconds left. They still need 78 yards.

Brady to Gronk. Gets out of bounds at his own 33. 0:20 left.

Brady to Gronk for another 16, gets out of bounds. Near midfield. 0:13 left.

Eagles take their final timeout to talk this over.

Incomplete pass on first down. 0:09 left.

Next play, Brady buys time, chucks it deep, and it falls incomplete in the end zone as time expires.

THE EAGLES HAVE WON THE SUPER BOWL.

THIS ONE'S FOR PHILLY BOY ROY.

Final score: Philadelphia 41, New England 33. Nem Eagles got it done.

POSTGAME

Commercials: Scientology.

Yes, I’m curious. Where’s Shelly Miscavige? Why has nobody seen her in public in more than a decade?

Tom Brady threw for 505 yards, three touchdowns, and zero interceptions. And lost.

Brandon Graham: We are the world champions because we worked our butts off.

The Patriots punted zero times. And lost.

Collinsworth: Nick Foles was unbelievable tonight.

Trophy presentation. Darrell Green carries the Lombardi Trophy to the stage. Weird that they'd have an NFC East great who didn't play for Phiadelphia do this. Apparently he had a big game in Super Bowl XXVI. I contend that game never happened, which is a shame because the Bills were supposed to be in it.

Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie: For Eagles fans everywhere, this is for them. This is the most unique, together, group of men I've ever been around. An incredible group of men, players and coaches. Attempts to dedicate the win. Dan Patrick blows through that, but Lurie somehow gets the microphone from him and dedicates this championship to Eagles fans around the world and especially to his mom and dad.

Doug Pederson thanks Jesus. Praises his players. Has the best players in the world, loves the coaching staff and the owner. Has the best fans in the world.

Pederson: Wanted to stay aggressive with Foles. That was the plan coming in.

Ertz: No doubt that it was a touchdown. No telling what would have happened in the city of Philadelphia if it had been overturned.

Nick Foles is the MVP. Jokingly says it was just another game. His infant daughter tries to grab the microphone. Foles says he's very blessed.

Commercials: Motorola with Amazon Alexa. H&R Block. Discover Card. McDonalds. Eagles championship gear at NFLShop dot com. Xfinity.

Dungy: Foles made big plays all night, but when he needed a touchdown, he went to Ertz.

Harrison: Said Graham would make a difference on defense for the Eagles, and he made the big play late in the fourth quarter.

Bill Belichick: I obviously didn't do a good enough job coaching. We missed a lot of opportunities in the first half. Not good enough on defense. Not good enough in the kicking game.

Harrison: If the Patriots are going to come back to this game, they'll need to improve that defense. Just not enough athletes.

Dungy: Foles knows this is Carson Wentz's team, but was ready to go tonight.

Michaels and Collinsworth awkwardly fist bump.

[singtotheskiies]

Eight Summers

pairing: john laurens x reader modern au words: 7000 (yeah I got carried away a bit) warnings: fluff summary: follow yourself and John through eight summers as you become friends and mAyBe even fall in love. a/n: I've been wanting to do this forever (I can't believe I haven't done a John x reader yet) so let's see how this goes. the second summer contributes nothing whoops 

❇❇❇summer one❇❇❇ You sighed, flopping back onto your front porch. You had been so excited for this summer, and now, midway through June, nothing was happening. "I'm so bored," you said to the clear blue sky. As if by magic, your thinking aloud was interrupted by the rumble of a large moving van. Sitting up, you watched as it came down your street, trailed by a blue SUV. Both the vehicles pulled into the driveway of the house across the street and diagonal from yours. The house had been up for sale for the better part of the year, and only recently had a sticker reading "SOLD" been slapped onto the advertisement in the front yard. It was a large, spacious house that edged a forest, and you had often wondered at its slow sale. The rumble of the two cars had dwindled to a stop, and two men got out of the moving van and proceeded to open the back of the large vehicle. Meanwhile, a couple emerged from the SUV. The woman had brown, curly hair and looked to be in her early thirties. Her husband, or so you supposed, looked to be a few years older and had the same shade of hair as the lady, except his was stick-straight and short. Both of them waved at you, and you waved back with a smile. Under normal circumstances, you would have gone over to say hi, but this was their moving-in time and you didn't want to distract from that. I wonder if they have any kids​​, you thought, and your question was soon answered when the back left door of the car opened and a boy stepped out. You couldn't see very well since his back was to you, but he looked to be about your height and had clearly inherited his mother's curls. They fell halfway to his shoulders, and you didn't think you had ever seen a boy with hair quite like that. He exchanged a few words with his parents, and his mom motioned to where you were sitting. He turned around and looked at you before looking back at her, but his hesitation was ended as she pushed him gently. Now he was headed across the street and up your driveway. You stood up. "Hi! What's your name?" you asked brightly. "John," he answered, biting his lip before looking at you. "D'you have a last name?" you inquired. "Doesn't everyone?" he pronounced the first word as if it contained no s. "I think so. What's yours?" "Laurens. I'm John Laurens." "I'm (Y/N) (L/N). Nice to meet you." You stuck out your hand and he took it with surprising firmness. You looked at him closer as you shook hands. His curly hair was shiny and soft-looking, and it framed a face with a honeyed caramel tint which was covered with a liberal dusting of freckles. His eyes were a vibrant green, and they met yours with an unwavering gaze. The features on his face were well-shaped and defined, although his cheeks still carried a roundness that hinted at youthful innocence. "How old are you?" he asked, releasing your hand. "I'm ten," you answered proudly. "So am I!" he exclaimed, his first real show of enthusiasm, and the two of you grinned at each other. His mouth quirked up to one side, bespeaking a hint of mischief that was confirmed by the sparkling in his eyes that matched his bright smile. His whole face transformed when he smiled, illuminating his face and stretching his freckled cheeks adorably. "But which one of us is older?" you wondered, and you compared birthdays. "Yes!" John exclaimed triumphantly, pumping his fist in victory when he learned that he was a full two months older than you. "It's only two months, though," you griped, crossing your arms as you felt some of the pride rubbing off. "Yeah, but I'm older!" he exclaimed. "I'm always one of the youngest in my classes and now I won't be the very last one!" "Oh, stop," you said, cuffing him playfully on the shoulder. "You'd think you won the Olympics or something." "Maybe I did," he retorted playfully. "The being-older-than-your-neighbor event is my thing." "Whatever," you said, rolling your eyes. "So this is your house?" he asked, looking up at it. "Uh-huh!" you answered proudly. "We'll be almost right across the street from each other, then," he observed. "I know! We'll have lots of fun," you resolved. "John!" A voice interrupted your conversation. The man was crossing the street. "Time to go. We need your help moving some boxes." "Okay, Dad." he sighed. "This is (Y/N). She's our neighbor and she's my age right now, although I'm two months older." Mr. Laurens smiled at you. "Nice to meet you, (Y/N)," he said. "I'm Henry Laurens. Thanks for being so welcoming. I know John was a little nervous that there wouldn't be any kids his age, but I guess that problem's solved, right, John?" "Yeah!" he responded. "Bye, (Y/N)! See you later!" "Okay! Friends?" you asked. "Friends." He smiled at you again before going back with his father. You smiled as you sat back on the porch. Summer just got a whole lot more interesting. ------ You didn't hear the conversation that went on between John and his father. "She's so nice, Dad, and friendly and pretty!" "I could tell, son. I'm glad you made a friend." Henry drew his son close to his side. "Yeah, me too." John couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. ❇❇❇summer two❇❇❇ You were lying next to John, your back against the firm wood of his tree house, which was really nothing more than a few planks nailed together to form a floor-like object which was placed in a crook of a tree. It was secured to the branch by nails and was surprisingly very comfortable. "I can't believe you haven't told me about this yet," you said, turning your head to look at him. "Yeah. It's pretty great, isn't it?" ​​​​​​ It was. The tree was a tall one and all sounds of other people faded, giving way to birdsong and the occasional humming insect. It was a hot day, but the heat faded, impeded by the canopy of leaves stretched out above the two of you. The sun would poke through at different times whenever the leaves would drift apart, lifted by the cool breeze wafting through the forest. All was peaceful and you smiled at the calm that filled you as you lay there, John by your side. "Those leaves over there remind me of your eyes," you said with all the innocence of an eleven-year-old, pointing over to a part of the forest that was dappled with shade. John hummed in agreement. That was one thing about John. The two of you could maintain perfect silence without it feeling awkward or strange. You could still understand each other just as well through words than you could through none. He always seemed to know what you were thinking and vice versa, which was one of the things that made him your best friend. He always understood. Even at this young age, you knew that that was important in any close friendship. John was special and you were glad to know him. He never failed to make you happy and bring a smile to your face. And as you thought of him, a stirring arose in your heart, a new, unfamiliar feeling that wasn't necessarily uncomfortable. You didn't know what it was, but the future was sure to tell. ❇❇❇summer three❇❇❇ "C'mon, John!" you exclaimed, pulling insistently on his arm. John and his parents had come over for dinner, and now the adults were just talking on the back porch which served as an eating area. You wanted no part in it—the fireflies were out tonight, and you had never seen so many. "Hey, that rhymes!" he quipped, smiling that smile you knew so well. "Wow, great observation." You rolled your eyes. "I know. Aren't you glad your best friend is brilliant?" "You're about as brilliant as—" you paused, trying unsuccessfully to think of something dull— "as, well, never mind. But let's go, please? Those fireflies are just waiting to be caught." "Okay, okay, I'm coming. Hey, Mom!" he called. "Yes, sweetheart?" Mrs. Laurens replied. "(Y/N) and I are gonna catch some fireflies." "All right. Have fun, you two." She gave you a sweet smile. "I'll get the jars," you told John. "I'm pretty sure we've got two with holes already punched in the top." You went inside and emerged in a few minutes, carrying a jar in each hand. "We should make this a competition of who can catch the most," John said, taking his jar and looking at you mischievously. "Oh, definitely. You're on," you said, matching his grin. "Ready—" you drew out the word. "Set..." "Go!" you yelled together, running in opposite directions to spots where the insects illuminated the night with their flashes of light. You found a great spot right away, and you quickly grabbed the small bugs and let them crawl off your fingers into your jar, slamming the lid down when they had entered fully. The bugs tickled as their feet made their way down your fingers, and you giggled at the sensation. "You're going down!" you heard John yell from somewhere in the yard. "Nuh-uh!" you retorted, continuing your mad dash through the grass. ------ As the two of you ran around the yard, your parents watched you with smiles on their faces. "They're such great friends," your mom said. "Yeah, they really have a special bond," agreed Mr. Laurens. "There's not a day that goes by that John doesn't talk about (Y/N). There's always something exciting with those two." "He better not steal her heart in a few years," inserted your dad, jokingly but also with a hint of seriousness. "Well, I'm afraid (Y/N)'s on her way to doing that with John," Mrs. Laurens said. "He always tells me how pretty she is, although he's never hinted at a crush." "Well, if I had to choose anyone for my son, it'd be your daughter," Mr. Laurens told your parents. "She's really a great girl." "We could say the same for John," your mother replied. "That he's a wonderful boy and all. Not that he's a great girl!" The four laughed and turned back to watching you and John. ------ "Okay, I think that's enough time," you called to him, breathing slightly heavier than normal. "Aw, are you just tired?" he teased, coming over to you. "No, but I bet you are," you shot back, trying to suppress your heavy breathing. "Nope!" he boasted, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. His curls were long enough to be put back in a short ponytail now, and you teased him about it occasionally. "Okay, well, let's count the other person's fireflies, and whoever wins gets the last two cookies," you said. ​​​​​​ "Sounds good," he replied, and you switched jars and began counting, which was a tricky job since the bugs kept crawling around and many were on the bottom of the lid so you had to tip the jar up to see them. "Fifty-one," you said when you had finished. John was just finishing up, his tongue stuck out slightly as he counted. "You have forty-two which means I won!" he shouted in joy. "All right, good job," you said, sticking out a hand. "A for effort." "Effort starts with E, stupid. Now let's go get your cookies," you replied, smacking him lightly on the shoulder. "Sounds good to me," he said, yelling, "I won!" when the two of you reached your parents. "So he gets the last two cookies," you explained, giving the prizes to him. As he contemplated his reward in his hand, he looked up at you. "I'll give you one," he conceded. "I could never let my best friend go hungry." "I appreciate it," you said, and sat down on the steps, setting your jar next to you. John sat down as well. "We should probably let them go," he said, and you agreed, opening your jar as he did. The fireflies flew into the night, releasing light as they went, and you watched them go. John glanced over at you, your face illuminated by the soft glow of the bugs, and felt his heart expand inside him. What a best friend. ❇❇❇summer four ❇❇❇ The August afternoon was drawing on to evening, and a coolness stole into the air, barely noticeable but still there. Fall would come soon, along with school, and you wanted to savor every last second with John. He lifted his head from his sketchbook as a breeze blew through the trees at the edge of the forest, where the two of you were sitting on an old blanket that John's parents kept for picnics and outdoor use. You were still unaware of what he was drawing, and didn't hear the quick scribbling of his pencil as you looked upward at a few golden-tinged leaves that had fallen due to the wind. "It's so pretty out here," you said, turning back to look at him. He was drawing a long, curving line but that was all you could tell as he had his sketchbook tilted away from you. "Mhm," he replied absentmindedly, a look of intense concentration on his face. He had a certain habit when he was drawing—he would bite his lip on one side and poke out his tongue on the other. You never figured out how he did it, and it was one of the endless unique things that made him John. As you watched his pencil move, his eyes flicked upwards to yours and you looked away quickly, your heart racing inexplicably. You had noticed that you seemed more shy around John. He was still your best friend and closer to you than anyone else, but something was changing. He wasn't the same boy anymore. His cheeks were still sprinkled with freckles, but they had lost much of their roundness, showing hints of defined cheekbones. His hair had grown out to a bit longer than shoulder length, and was usually tied back in a ponytail. He had grown nearly a foot in the past three years and now stood a full head taller than you, a fact he never failed to tease you about. He'd call you "small one" often, to which you would cross your arms and pout. He was growing up remarkably, and you couldn't help but think that he was getting handsomer every day. Although you didn't want to believe it, you could feel yourself becoming attracted to him and hated yourself for it. He's your best friend, you'd think. What's wrong with you? But all the berating in the world couldn't stop your feelings from developing more and more. "They're still not right," you heard him mutter, breaking you out of your thoughts. "What?" "The eyes. They're not right." He turned his sketchbook towards you and you gasped. There on the page were five sketches of your head and upper body in different positions, and they looked as if they could have come from real life. Everything was perfectly proportioned, and you marveled at how he could add such reality to the images with just a few lines of shading. "John," you breathed. He looked at you, hopefully, a hint of anxiety in his eyes. "Do you like them?" he asked, genuinely nervous. "Oh my god. They're beyond words," you said, still looking at them with awe. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness. I just couldn't get your eyes right on this one," he said, pointing to a sketch of you looking up. "There's a certain light in them that I just can't duplicate." You looked at his face next to you, inches away. "I think they're amazing." He smiled at you, no hint of cockiness or self-assurance, just a warm smile that heated your cheeks. "Thank you," he said. "No, thank you," you answered. "Wow!" "Ah, it was nothing, just a few sketches." He rubbed the back of his neck as he tapped his pencil almost nervously on his leg. "I'm just glad you like them." Hit with a sudden impetuous desire, you threw your arms around him. He hugged back after a moment, clearly surprised, and you smiled at the feeling, the rightness of it. "You're the best," you whispered. "No, you are." "I'll fight you." A laugh, a change in tone. "Whatever you say, small one." ❇❇❇summer five❇❇❇ "But it's so cold," you complained. "(Y/N), it's sixty-three degrees. That hardly qualifies as cold," John answered you with a shake of his curls. "It does when it's summer and there's no sun. It feels like forty degrees and I don't care what you say it really is." You crossed your arms and shivered, even as you were standing on John's screened-in back porch. "So you insist on not coming." "Not if I'm going to freeze my butt off!" He sighed. "Fine, wait here. I'll be right back." He vanished into the house and you stood there alone, tapping your bare foot on the wooden boards. You heard him coming down the stairs a few moments later and he came out the door with something in hand. "What's that for?" "You. It's just one of my old sweatshirts you can wear so you're not as cold. It's got fleece on the inside, see?" You felt the shirt and agreed to put it on, your heart warming even as your body did. It smelled like John, a hint of lemons swirled in with cotton. It came well to your mid-thigh area and the sleeves enveloped your hands, forcing you to push them up a bit. "Thanks, John," you told him. He was looking at you in his sweatshirt and seemed to snap out of a trance as you spoke. "Oh, yeah, anything for you," he said, ruffling your hair. "You look nice in it." "Yeah, right. As if I look nice in anything," you said, rolling your eyes. "You do. Y'know, I almost got you a pair of my sweatpants since you seemed to be the most concerned with freezing your butt off, but somehow I deemed that inappropriate." The soft look in his eyes was briefly replaced with a hint of their usual roguish gleam. "Perv. Now let's go look at the freaking stars because you wanted to." You bumped him with your shoulder and smiled at him. "I think you secretly want to look at the stars as well," he teased, holding the patio door open for you. "Thank you. And maybe, maybe not. You'll never know." (You did.) The two of you stepped into the night, shivering slightly as you did so. The stars were bright and shed a soft light on John's wide backyard. You picked a spot and lay down on the grass. "Ooh, look, the Big Dipper!" you cried softly, pointing at the constellation above you. John smiled at the wonder reflected in your star-lit eyes. "There's the North Star," he replied, and thought that even though he had seen these basic constellations a million times before, they had never been quite so shining and clear as when you were there next to him. After a few minutes of picking out the images in the sky, you remarked, "I'm still cold." "C'mere, then," John answered, and drew you close. The warmth from his body seeped into yours as fingers of electricity washed over your body at the contact. He felt amazing and right, and you closed your eyes as you leaned against him. ​​​​​His heart was beating; you could hear it, and his chest rose and fell gently. He looked down at your form and sat there with you, the girl who made the stars shine brighter. ❇❇❇summer six❇❇❇ You looked at John warily. "You want me to ride in this? You literally got your license two days ago." Your voice was teasing. "And it was well-deserved. C'mon, (Y/N), just for a bit? It'll only take a few minutes and the sun will start setting soon anyway." "I'm just kidding. Of course I'll go." "Ah, so you do trust me." "Shut up and drive, Laurens." He made his way to the passenger door and held it open for you, making a sweeping gesture that was coupled with a mock bow. "My lady," he said. "Oh, stop." Your heart was secretly bursting within you at the chivalrous action, however lightly it was meant. John closed the door after you and walked to the driver's side. "Are you ready for the time of your life?" he asked you. "Ready as I'll ever be," you told him, and he turned the key in the ignition. "Then let's go." And with that, he pulled out of his driveway. ------ ​​​​​​There was a road near your neighborhood that was mostly used for drivers' ed purposes. Since it was nearly school, classes in your community had ended and the road was empty. It was surrounded by trees on both sides and a few faint birds could still be heard deep inside the trees. As John turned onto the road, he looked at you with a smirk before stepping on the gas. "Oh my god, John!" you screamed as your hair was whipped every which way. "You're going sixty miles an hour!" "I know." "Just be careful!" you cried, even as a joyous whoop escaped you. John looked over at you again, and his heart flipped over. You were laughing, mouth wide open, and your hair was blowing around your face, tinted slightly by the now-setting sun. As you turned to look back at him, your cheeks were flushed and your hair was a mess, but John had never seen you look more beautiful. His gaze moved down your face, and he was unable to get enough of you. "Eyes on the road," you quipped. "Ah, yes, right," he nodded. "But I'd rather look at my beautiful best friend than a black stretch of asphalt." "Shut up," you told him, shocked inwardly at the compliment. "Watching the road will actually keep you alive." "Maybe I need you to live as well," he murmured. "What?" "Nothing." ❇❇❇summer seven❇❇❇ Every year, the Mulligans and Motiers, two families in your neighborhood, would get together and have a huge party. They would play music cranked up as loud as possible, and was audible on the other side of the subdivision, where you and John lived. Miraculously, none of the numerous complaints would deter them from their fun, and so the whole neighborhood suffered in unison for one long night. Tonight was the oh-so-joyful occasion, and you had invited John over, knowing that having him next to you was the only thing that would keep your sanity in one piece. He had had dinner with your family and the two of you were out in your backyard, where an old swingset stood. You were sitting on one, swinging your legs softly back and forth while John sat next to you, listening absentmindedly to the music while catching glimpses of you whenever you weren't looking. The current song ended and another began. "I love this song!" you cried, instantly recognizing "I Saw Her Standing There" by the Beatles. Well, she was just seventeen You know what I mean And the way she looked was way beyond compare "You're seventeen. Fancy that," said John. "And I must admit that you do look nice tonight." You looked down at your old clothes with a skeptical glance. "Yeah, right." "May I have this dance?" He held out a hand to you. "Of course." So how could I dance with another When I saw her standing there? You giggled as John twirled you around the yard, slowing when you were out of breath. He stepped with you slowly, your speed rapidly decreasing and then stopping altogether as you looked up at him to see him gazing down at you. Well she looked at me And I, I could see That before too long I'd fall in love with her She wouldn't dance with another Oh, when I saw her standing there "(Y/N)," he whispered, softer than you knew anyone could ever speak. "Y-yes?" "May I kiss you?" A shocked silence. "Of course." You finally overcame your shock. He bent down and you felt his breath on your cheek. And with a soft tilt forward, he captured your lips with his and the only thing that existed was him. It was pure and perfect and everything you had imagined and wanted it to be. As you pulled apart, you whispered, "I love you." "I think I loved you ever since I saw how adorable you were when you were mad at me being older," John confessed, rubbing his thumb gently over your bottom lip. You looked into his eyes, saw the love, the pure emotion, and knew you needed him, needed him desperately. He drew you in again, and the music was forgotten. ❇❇❇summer eight❇❇❇ "I can't believe this. Summer reading? Especially Shakespeare summer reading?" John lamented. "Well, some people actually like Romeo and Juliet and consider it a literary masterpiece," you commented. "And I happen to be one of them." "My own girlfriend," he groaned. After a year of owning that title, it never failed to give you butterflies when hearing it. The two of you were sitting in a clearing of his forest, and the sun shone in a dappled pattern on your languishing forms. "You should really get started on it," you told him. "I suppose you're already done." "I, for one, do not procrastinate." "Well, then, you leave me no choice but to begin." "You should read it to me." "Anything for you," he said, cupping the back of your neck and kissing your forehead before lying down and placing his head on your lap. "It'll be more comfortable this way." And with that, he began to read, and you listened to the voice you loved best read the classic tale of love. After the first act, your hands were begging for something to do, and so you gently pulled at his hair tie, releasing his long, bouncy curls which floated freely at their leisure. You wove your fingers through them, feeling their lush softness and kissing his shiny locks every now and then. After a few minutes, you parted his hair into three sections and began braiding, picking a few flowers to finish off the woven hairstyle. He was now at the balcony scene, your favorite part, and he paused. "You be Juliet. I'll read Romeo," he said. You laughed and held the book with him, your fingers entwining. The words were interrupted often for a kiss or two, and he smiled at you, thinking that you were the most beautiful thing to ever walk the earth. He finished the scene, and sat up slightly, running his fingers along the curves of your neck while you kissed his freckled cheeks. "How'd I ever get you?" he asked in pure, breathless wonder. You simply smiled before kissing him deeply, eliciting small noises from his throat. The book was pushed aside as he sat up fully, setting you on his lap. "I love you," you said. "And I you." And there you were, young and with your lives ahead of you. The future was yet unknown, but you could face it together as long as you were by each other's side. You looked into his eyes and both of you thought that you had never felt such perfect happiness. 

[cursedcandyroses]

My 5th Birthday Present To Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’“The Heist”

A gift like this isn’t something you wrap up all nice and neatly in the way some poor bastard working in a JCPenney’s around Christmas time would prefer to do it. This is one of those big gifts your parents drunkenly set up overnight in the backyard, slapped a bow on it, and the next morning said “Hey, go get your sister we have something cool for her”. My gift to “The Heist” is something that isn’t given often. It’s the gift of perspective, the gift of a defense, the gift of an explanation that may sway the still-salty Hip-Hop traditionalist inside of all of us. A gift that will be presented with dignity, grace, and by giving all the projects bed-time-story-book-level equivalents . “The Heist” rightfully won the Grammy for the best Hip-Hop album at the 2014 Grammy’s. Yeah, the Grammy they won over Jay-Z, Kanye, Kendrick and Drake. An album that came out in 2012 and became every soccer mom’s entrance into a world they stand out in (like Macklemore in most Hip-Hop events not attended by execs) Besides how strange is was that the award was given out in 2014, but thanks to the Olympics and the odd Grammy rules made it that way so we’re gonna sit down and like it. This was the year the little Seattle duo should have been honored to even be mentioned in the same breath as artists so many leagues above them. But there was a method behind the impending madness.

THE QUALITY TALK

Now as far as quality of the overall album, the only project nominated that year that was worse than “The Heist” was Jay-Z’s beautifully produced coconut of an album we call “Magna Carta Holy Grail”. Now since we’re on quality Kendrick’s “good kid, m.A.A.d. city” is in a different universe compared to “The Heist”. As far as other nominees went “Yeezus” was seen as one of the most polarizing albums since Kanye’s last experiment, 2008′s “808′s & Heartbreak”, yet was still critically acclaimed, and Drake’s “Nothing Was The Same” was seen as containing some of Drake’s best work to date. The win here goes to Kendrick, but Macklemore and company are no slouch. 

Round 1 Elimination: “Magna Carta Holy Grail”

THE POLITICAL TALK

Now we all know Kanye’s history with the Grammy’s, and that is something he may never be truly forgiven for in White America and the Committee’s eyes. If “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” can’t win Album Of The Year while being one of the most raved about albums of ALL TIME, do you really think they’re going to give an award to something like “Yeezus” an album comparable to a silverback gorilla when woken from a very wonderful nap featuring a grand dream only to see that his shoes are being eaten by the weaklings of the jungle. As powerful as an enraged sneakerhead ape may be, it is again no match for the crushing strength of the Grammy Committee and its voters, which in this scenario we’re gonna picture as the Justice League if the Justice League was made up of guys who looked like Mitch McConnell and former winners.

Round 2 Elimination: “Yeezus”

THE REALLY BIG NUMBERS TALK

Now the Grammy’s have claimed for years in statements and in the description of what makes an “Album Of The Year” ( “ ..honor artistic achievement, technical proficiency and overall excellence in the recording industry, without regard to album sales or chart position.”) that sales have no influence on the future winner. Yet looking back at past winners of “Best Rap Album Of The Year” up until that year over 65% of the winners either had higher first week & total sales for the time leading to the award being given or more top 10 singles in comparison to it’s competitors. Oddly enough “The Heist” had the lowest first week sales of all the nominees with only 78k compared to 658k (Drake), 528k (Jay-Z), 370k (Kanye) and 242k (Kendrick). As far as singles went is where something strange happens. Kendrick had no Billboard Top 10 Hits, yet 3 singles moved into the Billboard Hip-Hop Top 10. 

*SIDEBAR: DIFFERENTIATING THE BILLBOARD CHARTS*

For those unknowing of the difference between the different types of Billboard Charts here’s a quick breakdown.

Every genre of music has their own individual chart, making it easier for artists to compare themselves to their contemporaries. R&B songs will be put against R&B, jazz against jazz etc. Now there is the Billboard Hot 100 Chart. This chart is a comprehensive ranking of songs regardless of genre, to see who has the most popular songs whether it is a hip-hop record or a rock record. A key thing to realize is that just because you have the most popular hip-hop song, that doesn’t mean you have the most popular song over the entire span of music. For example Migos could hold the #1 spot on the Hip-Hop/R&B charts because it is the highest selling and highest played hip-hop song, but the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100 could be a song by Justin Bieber. Now back to our regularly scheduled bedtime story. 

Yet compared to Drake and Macklemore, Kendrick was left in the dust. This is the part in the story where our hometown hero, picture Bruce Lee mixed with the great Achilles but way cooler and travels the globe in a balancing out level uncool mini-van, becomes stagnant in the battle for the hallowed Grammy, and by forces against his powers falls to the wayside.Young Kung Fu Kenny has failed himself, yet made his hometown so proud. So now the only competition Macklemore faces is the Lightskin Megalodon in a Raptors jersey we know as Aubrey “Drake” Graham. Drake peaked with his (at the time) second highest charting single behind “Best I Ever Had” (which peaked at #2) with what has become a staple wedding song in “Hold On, We’re Going Home” a track that peaked on the Billboard Charts at #4. Not only did Drizzy hit the Top 10 with the Majid Jordan assisted track, he also hit #6 on the Billboard Charts with the anthem “Started From The Bottom”. Both monstrous and inescapable songs during this time period. Yet the international outreach wasn’t really there. North America loves Drake, yet as far as international chart rankings “Hold On��� peaked in the Top 10 in 9 countries. Now this is the part were most people wished they had had a warning before hearing. So here it is; shit’s about to get soul crushing. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis hit the Top 10 in over 20 countries with TWO different singles. Yes, those white boys took Hip-Hop across the globe with “Can’t Hold Us” and “Thrift Shop” (the later of which hit number 1, the absolute peak position, in TWELVE non-North American countries.) You couldn’t even avoid the annoyingly toxicating horns of “Thrift Shop” in Lebanon, a country Drake hit number 2 in which makes me wonder if Lebanon is either a) the ultimate hypebeasts of American music or b) a country of questionable taste, yet i again digress. The Drake-alodon (yeah that’s what we’re going with) has finally met it’s match.The only duo on Earth that, against all odds, can defeat any who stand in it’s way. Mack & Ryan are the Sam & Dean Winchester of this fabulous tale (and to those who have never watched “Supernatural” and don’t get this reference, like, what the fuck guys come on). Thought just mortals in a battle against beings much more powerful than them, they find a way to take down all in their path, though they aren’t motivated in the same “save world” type way most heroes have, it’s more in the “family business” type way. Forging their musical careers in the most ironic way possible, by literally starting from the bottom with no chance of ever making it this far, the tag team has found a way to come out victorious. 

Round 3 Eliminations (The Double Wammy Round): “good kid, m.A.A.d. city” & “Nothing Was The Same”

THE X-FACTOR TALK

Now yes Drake was pummeled thanks to the powers of a European and Pacific terrestrial radio fanbase, but by the grace of Wayne Gretzky Drake is given a second wind. Now we get a smidge serious and look into what led Macklemore here, in a less-then-story-book-level way. Another field Sir Mac crossed that Drake could not, is a message. “The Heist” was a vehicle carrying tales of pain from addiction, ideologies of equality, and being true to oneself over beats that didn’t fit the typical Hip-Hop mold. Though yes Kanye screamed in hopes of being accepted, and Kendrick crafted a story that comes to life to often, they didn’t meet the previous qualifications. Drake and Jay boasted their way threw their tracks with only glimpses into anything more than opulence and success, a characteristic Macklemore rarely touched, and heavily spoke down upon on tracks. A humble, conscious, loveable loser is a storyline the mainstream public can relate to more than a prodigy like Kendrick, a wealthy businessman (and a business, MAN) like Jay, an angry and disgruntled creative like Kanye, or an innovative powerhouse like Drake. That was the X-factor in what has become one of the most controversial Grammy moments in Hip-Hop history. A factor Macklemore and Ryan Lewis may or may not have intentionally used to leverage their way into the hearts and radios of America, and the world. Though the Drake-alodon seemed to have caught our heros by surprise by lashing back once again, they knew far to well to grow comfortable with success. With a final blow to the monsters impeccable beard, the monster was sent flying into the stars, not to be viewed again (at least for a few years anyway). Our heroes have finally reached the pinnacle, with their competitors left deep in the their dust. Now holding the Grammy in their hand, they feel as if they have finally done it. They have reached what they have dreamt of their whole lives, in a moment they’d never give up. At least Ryan wouldn’t want to give up, because within hours Sir Mac is sending a carrier pigeon to The Chosen One, a young Kung Fu Kenny to apologize about not helping him out. 

Final Round Elimination: “Nothing Was The Same” (for real this time)

Now back to reality, where I tuck “The Heist” back into my CD holder and tuck it away for a while until i build up the want to listen to it again, which may or may not ever come back. By all official and unofficial qualifications the indie duo outshined its competitors in numerous ways. Don’t get me wrong “good kid m.A.A.d. city” is an album my GRANDCHILDREN will be given as a birthday present, probably more than once. But “The Heist” crossed international barriers and at the end of the day showed Hip-Hop to parts of the globe the Kendrick’s and Drake’s of the world have only just begun crossing into. Macklemore isn’t the best version of Hip-Hop i personally want the world to see, but he isn’t the worst. An indie artist who crafted legendary crossover songs is still an artist very much who gives props to his backpacker influences and inspirations such as The Hieroglyphics, Talib Kweli, Mobb Deep and Wu-Tang Clan. The duo of Macklemore & Ryan Lewis earned the Award of Best Hip-Hop album in 2014 by filling nearly every box, and leave a bigger check mark then their competitors. It isn’t groundbreaking work, it isn’t life changing work, but it is work that deserved the Grammy that night in January.

[thefinalcinderella]

DIVE!! Book 2 Chapter 9-SUMMER VACATION

Full list of translations here

Last time on DIVE!!: There should be a spinoff about the training camp.

“Even if you said that you have three days off, excluding coming here and going back, you only have one day to play around fully.”

“We’d looked forward to this day, so we want to spend it nonstop, as much as possible.”

In response to that request, the next day Shibuki, together with Kyouko, led the two to a nearby waterfall, where they spent the morning dripping. Kyouko, who worked at the neighborhood supermarket, had also entered her one-week summer vacation today.

For Tomoki and Youichi, they were having their summer vacation for the first time this summer, and for Kyouko she was finally having her summer vacation. However, Tsugaru’s summer was quicker to escape from than that of Tokyo’s, and though the hot weather lingered during the day, there were no swimmers in the sea because of the jellyfish that had already appeared there. Until a short while ago, even the children who played in the sea until they burnt black weren’t seen much, having moved their turf to the rivers and the mountains, or possibly catching up on homework at home.

In a child’s mind, did the waterfall have the image of “a little sad-looking place?” The area around the waterfall wasn’t very big, and it was always quiet. On this day as well there were only two girls sketching in the shade of rocks and an old person hanging their fishing pole down from a large rock in a stream.

“Wow, look at those birds!”

“Wow, look at those fish!”

“Wow, look at that dead body—”

They gave the frolicking Tomoki sidelong glances as they tread upon the wild path surrounded by bushes, and before long the whooshing roar of the waterfall brushed against their ears, which turned into a thmp-thmp sound as they got closer, and as they approached even farther it turned into a rumbling sound. The four stared at the powerful performance swooping down to the waterfall lake from the steep cliff.

“If Coach Fujitani was here, he’d say something like, ‘Know the mind of the waterfall.’”

“The old man wouldn’t say that. Well, nowadays he’s been overpowered by Asaki Kayoko’s American ways.”

Tomoki and Youichi snickered.

They watched the waterfall for a while, then they turned their backs to the roaring, the sound of water becoming a steady BGM as they went towards the stream.

The wind that blew on the stream was refreshing. Sunlight filtered through the green leaves, sprinkling a clear emerald color on them as they sat on the rocks of the stream.

“I can’t stand it anymore!”

Tomoki kicked off his shoes and socks, and shouted, “Just a little bit--!” as he dived into the stream that was only ankle-deep. No one followed after him. Kyouko turned to Youichi and eagerly asked him questions like, “Did you see any celebrities?” and “How many times have you gone to Disneyland?” Shibuki stared at his girlfriend’s profile with a bitter smile. It was an nonstop day, just as he had wished.

They had their fill of nonstop-ness and returned home, where they had their lunch of chilled soumen (1), and everyone was struck by drowsiness in the tepid early afternoon.

The four laid down side-by-side on the tatami mats, and had a pleasant afternoon nap for about an hour.

It was already two when they woke up. Tomoki suddenly spoke like he just thought of something.

“Hey, let’s go to the cliff where Okitsu-kun always dived from.”

As its name suggested, it was definitely a very precipitous cliff.

It was a separating wall that cut off the sea and land.

The cliff didn’t let the rough, scattered wave crests come near even a little, and its tip pierced the sky at its highest—

“Is that twenty meters…?”

They walked for forty minutes from Shibuki’s house before finally arriving at the cliff, and stepped onto the rugged scaffolding that was laid down, so different from the platforms. Looking down at the sea that heaved far below, Tomoki and Youichi, who were supposed to be used to heights, held their breaths all at once, and lost their words for a brief moment. The magnetic field of the world shook unsteadily, as if the very earth itself lost its stability.

“It feels somewhat spooky. How long have you been diving from here?”

“Since I was thirteen. In the past, when the eldest son of the Okitsu family turned fifteen, it seemed that for a while they were taken to this cliff for their coming-of-age ceremony, but my Gramps broke that custom and dived from here when he was fourteen. He seemed to have stirred up plenty of disapproval, but in my father’s generation that custom had completely disappeared, but I wanted to surpass Gramps and dive here at thirteen.”

“Thirteen…that’s one-year younger than me.”

Kyouko’s provocative voice came from besides Tomoki, who was gulping deeply. “Do you want to try diving?”

“What?”

“Cut it out.”

Without listening to Shibuki, Kyouko walked forward until she was just a step away from the empty space, and crouched down at the tip, hugging her knees.

“Three years ago, when I started to go out with Shibuki, he made a declaration to everyone in the village. He announced that if there was anyone who wanted to steal me away, they should come here, become his opponent and dive from here.”

“Awesome~. That’s so cool.”

“Definitely.” Kyouko replied bluntly to Tomoki, who was looking at Shibuki with eyes of respect.

“Everyone was interested, even me. Though because of that, anyone who wanted to steal me away still hadn’t said anything yet. Apparently when stuff like that was said after a guy like that appeared, they were laughed at by Aya-san. Well, when I think about it now, Shibuki was still just a kid, but I still feel embarrassed about that.”

“So in other words, even now no one has appeared yet? No one else dived from here?”

When Youichi broke into a smile as he said that, Kyouko nodded and said, “Yep,” seemingly reluctantly.

“No one has dived here. Until today.”

“Until today?”

“When I heard that friends from the Tokyo diving club were coming here, I was really excited. I thought that that time might finally come, and that I won’t end up blushing every time I come here.”

Kyouko’s eyes were filled with expectation. Youichi skillfully avoided them and turned around to Tomoki.

“If that’s the case…”

“What, no way!”

With Kyouko’s gaze pouring onto him, it made the bottom of Tomoki’s eye twitch.

“We have to do it from here?”

“Because you’re divers, right? Surely, you feel good about it.”

“That’s just assuming things…”

“It’s alright, it’s lower than bungee jumping. Only there’s no bungee cord attached.”

“Eek!”

Compared to Tomoki who was completely backing away, Youichi was calmer.

“Thanks, but no thanks. If I get injured now, then the two weeks of training camp would all be for nothing. If I do dive, it’ll be after the Olympics, and after I check the depth of sea bottom with my own eyes.”

Kyouko raised her chin up. “Aw, that’s too bad,” she laughed. “But you, you’re pretty smart, aren’t you?”

Was it his imagination, or did Youichi’s cheeks turn slightly red?

Changing the topic quickly, Kyouko said, “let’s go back” as she stood up, her purple skirt flapping in the air.

“It’ll be dinner time at the Okitsu house soon.”

On the way home, Youichi bought up all of the fireworks from a small candy store, in order to have a firework display after dinner that day. The faces of Miyuki, Misaki, Minami, Kyouko, Shibuki, Tomoki and Youichi, which were illuminated by the dim lights of the fireworks, all resembled those of innocent children. A wind disturbing the night air extinguished the light of the candles, from firework to firework, and when the relay for stopping the spark from being extinguished began, everyone became more and more electrified, acting desperate as though they were protecting something tremendously important.

“Somehow, when we do stuff like this, it’s like we’re just ordinary friends.” Tomoki casually murmured while he drew pictures and characters on the board of darkness in front of the fireworks. Beside him, Shibuki and Youichi casually nodded, but if it was looked at from another perspective, it usually indicated that how much that they didn’t have the relationship that allowed them to be ordinary friends.

The end of the fireworks was always lonely.

Even if the fire was used up first, even if the fireworks were used up first, it was all unsatisfactory in the same way.

“Ahh…” Then they broke up suddenly while becoming silent, and Tomoki, all worn out from the excitement, fell asleep within ten seconds of returning to his room.

“Do you have a moment?”

It was after that that Youichi brought Shibuki out to the porch where the smell of gunpowder still floated.

“I want to confirm this once.”

Youichi got straight to the point.

“Do you know that the new semester starts in four days?”

“Oh, I’ve never counted, but it’s really in four days, huh.”

“You’re saying that you’ll be coming back to Tokyo in four days.”

“…”

“You’ll also be returning to the MDC.”

“…”

“What?”

“Today, where we went…”

“Ah?”

“The first time that I flew from that cliff, I was definitely only thirteen, but it was long time up until then.”

Am I just dodging the question, or is there actually some kind of connection? While knitting his stout fingers on his knees, Shibuki falteringly spoke. From the darkened windows of the Okitsu house where the lights were quickly turned off in succession, and only the flickering dim dots of the fireflies in the shade of the grass could be seen from the porch where the two were sitting.

“In the beginning, I dived from one- and two-meter cliffs, like Gramps told me, and when he died I walked for hours on my own, trying to find a convenient cliff…once I cleared a height, I pursued techniques next. Gramps did indeed teach me the basics from the first to sixth groups, but I could only do up to 1½ somersaults. Because when Gramps died, I was still only around eight years old. I recklessly practiced the 2½ from then on, by myself. I might have hurt my back because of that, but it couldn’t be helped. I wanted to go higher, do more amazing techniques. It was our instinct to aim for the top like that. I challenged new things, failed at them, challenged them, failed at them…I dived because of that most amazing feeling when I finally succeeded.”

But then Shibuki laughed without any power.

“But Asaki Kayoko told me that the 3½ is impossible for me now. There are athletes somewhere in the world who can compete overseas without doing 3½.”

“…”

“I can’t do the 3½. I can’t strive for amazing techniques. So now, honestly, I can’t see what I’m going to do for the future.”

To Shibuki’s bitter confession, Youichi only murmured, “I understand,” and cast his eyes down. Although he was too timid to say more than that, he understood Shibuki’s feelings so well that it wasn’t really possible to put it in words.

The surging of his heart when tackling new techniques. And the sense of accomplishment when he was able to do them. Divers seeked that moment of ecstasy that makes them feel like they wanted to roll around, and so would put up with the painful and cold practices. If they had been robbed of that…

“Even I don’t know what will happen if I’m in your position. Something like this could happen to anyone someday.”

Youichi’s voice became gloomy, and in order to show that this was never someone else’s problem, he spoke about something that, until then, he had hesitated over whether or not he should tell it to Shibuki.

“It seems that Asaki Kayoko intended to teach Tomo the 4½.”

“4½?”

Shibuki murmured, flabbergasted, and then repeated it again a few seconds later. “4½?”

“Ah, when I first heard of that, I thought there was something wrong with my ears. Even Tomo himself didn’t really accept it. But during the Beijing training camp, it seemed that he gradually came to feel that way. I guess he truly felt that he couldn’t catch up with the rest of the world if he stayed as he was.”

“4½…is that even possible?”

“Even if I used up everything to my full strength, it would be impossible for me. I know my own limits. However, I don’t know Tomo’s limits. If he could pull off a technique that I absolutely couldn’t do, I might have to quit diving.”

“…”

“But even so, I still might not quit.”

“…”

“Well, I won’t know until that time comes.”

Raising his arched eyebrows, Youichi looked into Shibuki’s face.

“That time might have come for you now. Of course, you’ll be the one deciding for yourself, but I just want to say one thing. I want to dive with you again. At the competition, it was the first time that I had so much fun, and the first time that I felt so frustrated. I want to do that again.”

The sound of fireworks came from somewhere in the distance. The sounds could be heard, but the petals of gunpowder couldn’t be seen. While the night quietly grew late, the matches beneath his feet, the sunflowers in the garden, and the towels hanging on the fence—that black mouth swallowed up all of those lingering summer scents.

To Shibuki, who currently seemed inclined to be swallowed up together with them, Youichi couldn’t press the answer here any further.

“Well, for now there are still four days left. So, take your time thinking about it. But, whatever you decide to do, you should call Ooshima-san. He seemed to be really depressed.”

“He’s depressed?”

“When you decided to pull out, he cried in front of the old man. He wanted to let you go to Beijing because it was a rare opportunity, but he couldn’t do it when he thought about your future. I don’t really get it, but it seems like that Ooshima-san himself, during his athlete days, had a lot of bitter feelings. I guess there was a lot of different factors. Then, after that…”

Leaving Shibuki puzzled, Youichi stood up and came back with his backpack in his hand, which was left in the hallway.

“I have something that Asaki Kayoko entrusted to me.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll know when I give it to you.”

What appeared from the backpack was a B5 envelope, and when he opened it after receiving it, there was a videotape and letter inside.

Shibuki’s fingers shook as he ran his eyes over the label on the video.

“Okitsu Shiraha IN 1937”

Translation Notes

1. Soumen are thin white noodles.

Next time on DIVE!!: The real canon ship of these novels.

[curdinway-blog]

Top 102 Movies of the 2010’s, According to a Crackpot

I’ve decided to try the impossible.

The seed for this idea came from Polygon.  The site ran an article by which various staff members ranked their top ten movies for the decade.  Naturally, that got me thinking about MY top ten films for the decade.  Then I realized I hadn’t seen most Oscar winners, let alone enough movies to qualify to make a list.  Then I realized I would have much, MUCH more than ten movies in my list.

Thus, I embarked on a madman’s dream.  It involved crunching movie after movie after movie, then trying to hopelessly rank it on my list if I thought it was good enough.  I missed my own deadline of New Year’s.  Now, I am releasing this on my next deadline: The Oscars.  Literally now, when they are already underway.

I hope you will read this list with some forgiveness in your hearts.  Biting off more than you can chew doesn’t describe it.  There are a whole host of movies I wanted to see before I made this list I haven’t gotten to and probably never will.   There are many movies on this list I saw close to a decade ago and am trying to place in a ranking against pieces I just saw a few days ago.  Oh, and I’m comparing across genres and types.  What I’m trying to say is, this list is probably going to suck in a lot of ways.

With that being said, I really did try to rank the following to the very best of my ability.  I racked my brains, racked them, and racked them again. Ultimately, I made my decisions from a whole host of criteria, ranging from everything from pacing, to various aspects of entertainment value, to complexity/themes, to cinematography.  I tried to be objective as much as possible, but I also think that how much you like a movie should be considered a piece of criteria as well. After all, that’s primarily why we go to the movies; we want to have a good time.  As such, expect to see a lot of science-fiction and animation of this list. In my defense, it was a great decade for each.

And now…without further ado…let me introduce…The Top 102 Films of the 2010’s, According to a Crackpot!

  102. Live Die Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow

Starship Troopers meets Groundhog Day, Live Die Repeat is a well-executed mecha-battle movie with a wrinkle of time-travel tossed in for good measure.

 101. Wreck-It Ralph: Ralph Breaks the Internet

It may not be as good as the original, but Wreck-It Ralph 2 makes the grade with some cunning swipes at internet culture, the world’s best worst Disney Princess song, and bittersweet revelations about what it means to be a true friend.

 100. Mirai

Few films truly approach their story from a child’s perspective; but in tone, structuring, and imagination, Mirai lets us see again through young eyes.  Director Mamoru Hosoda uses time travel as a vehicle for exploration of deeply personal familial relationships, and how they shape us into the people we become.

 99. The Last Gold

The Last Gold is an unheralded little gem about a quartet of female US Olympic swimmers who found themselves competing in an impossibly frustrating and unfair situation; the 1976 Olympics.  As East German swimmers swept podium after podium (with the aid of a systematic doping program), the US Women’s team faced intense public criticism, especially phenom Shirley Babashoff, who could have been the female Mark Spitz if not for the rampant cheating going on.  Largely forgotten and regarded as a disappointment by the American public, The Last Gold illustrates the team as one worth remembering and dignifying; in particular, for their final, desperate effort at gold in the 4 x 100 m freestyle relay.

 98. Mad Max: Fury Road

Pretty much nonstop surreal nutty action, Mad Max surely has some of the most creative and tricky stunts done in the past decade.

 97. The Amazing Spiderman

Utterly forgotten in the wake of its more successful follow-ups (and predecessors, for that matter), The Amazing Spiderman is nonetheless a solid reboot of some well-worn material. The concept behind Spidey’s origin is well-thought out and original, and ties directly to an interesting villain who is more the victim of his own genius than the archetype evil megalomaniac.

 96. Doctor Strange

Doctor Strange marks itself as unique among the various Marvel offerings by pondering nothing less than the meaning of life… and overloading us with psychedelic, Inception-esque imagery.

 95. Concussion

Featuring a terrific and vocally unrecognizable Will Smith, Concussion asks not only some difficult questions about the country’s (and my own) favorite sport, but also some difficult questions about what it means to be an American.

 94. The Big Sick

I’m not a big rom-com guy, but The Big Sick won me over by creating romantic tensions from realistic scenarios; in particular, the difficulties that arise from differences in race and religion.  The film’s awkward sense of humor is well-incorporated, making this a funny movie as well as an intelligent one.

 93. Bridesmaids

A funny movie about friendships and change (anchored by an excellently tragicomic Kristen Wiig), Bridesmaids showed the Judd Apatow formula could work on equal terms for the female sex.

 92. 50/50

50/50 tackled the cancer movie with an unusual slant of good humor, and chased it down with heartfelt drama and good performances.

 91. Hanna

In which a supergirl Saoirse Ronan (pre-fame and accolades) is honed into an assassin by her father so that she can kill a wicked, hammy CIA operative Cate Blanchett before the agency gets to her first.  If you ever wanted to see a small girl beating thugs to death with her bare fists in the style of Jason Bourne, this one’s for you.  Loads of fun, totally bananas, and dripping with cool.

 90. Hunger Games

More or less a faithful adaptation of a literary bestseller, Hunger Games nonetheless deserves credit for doing the job right.  The cinematics and ideas here are very nice for a teen blockbuster, and Jennifer Lawrence rightfully turned into a star for BEING Katniss Everdeen.

 89. What We Do in the Shadows

Quirky, subversive, hilarious, and utterly “New Zealand”, What We Do in the Shadows made vampires and werewolves funny again…in a good way.

 88. Icarus

An accidental documentary seemingly spurred on by fate, Icarus is about the creep of misinformation and deception into every aspect of our lives, even sports, by the unscrupulous and powerful.

 87. Prometheus

A film I absolutely adored the first time around, but toned down my enthusiasm for with a more critical eye to detail.  Nevertheless, Prometheus should be appreciated for its immense scale of ambition and huge open-ended philosophical questions; it should also be appreciated for throwing a veritable kitchen sink of full of campy horrors at its viewers, including a crazy autosurgery scene.

 86. 10 Cloverfield Lane

10 Cloverfield Lane flies high on its simplicity.  Three main actors, one small doomsday shelter, and loads of palm-sweating, stomach-clenching, double-guessing suspense.  John Goodman, you so craaaaazy.

 85. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Give J.K. Rowling credit for not making this a cynical cash grab; the writing in Fantastic Beasts is actually delightful.  There is a strong balance here between the sweet magical whimsy going on and some dark, brooding commentaries on American society.  A strong cast of endearing characters rounds out a very robust entry in the Harry Potter series.

 84. How to Train Your Dragon II

A very good sequel to a classic, HTTYD II still provides the acrobatic, dragon-flying goods, even as it steers us into a troubling, thought-provoking battle between might and right, fixed circumstances and free will.

 83. The Big Short

While Inside Job will always remain the definitive work on the maddening 2008 financial collapse, The Big Short is a strong effort featuring intimate inside perspectives of the actual people who did the dynamiting.  A slick sense of humor and a celebrity all-star team intent on ripping Wall Street a new one makes this film a winner.

 82. Captain America: Civil War

Cap: Civil War is noteworthy in that it makes civilian collateral damage the primary fulcrum and conflict of a superhero movie.  It is also a bit of a “mini-Avengers” that successfully incorporates some slam dunk additions to the team; then pits them against each other.

 81. Get Out

One of the decade’s cleverest and most ambitious horror flicks, Get Out shows how the sum of a million little microaggressions equates to something very ugly indeed.

 80. The Hateful Eight

A slow-burner as far as Tarantino films go, The Hateful Eight is an interesting social play interspersed with exaggerated violence and profanity; a commentary on how our nation was forged in the fires of overcoming racial and societal differences.

 79. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Catching Fire does what all good sequels aim to do; take the appealing constructs of the original film and pump them up on steroids.  Everything the Hunger Games did, Catching Fire does bigger, badder, and better.

 78. Big Hero 6

A weeaboo’s dream, a great superhero flick, and a gentle meditation upon loss and healthy grieving, Big Hero 6 is a very entertaining film with a big heart and a wonderfully plush-looking buddy robot.

 77. Mary and the Witch’s Flower

Mary and the Witch’s Flower is a Studio Ghibli flick, helmed by Studio Ghibli animators…under a non- Ghibli studio.  Here are all the familiar beats we love as viewers; the weird, wonderful setting (a school of sorcery for talented children), abuses on the natural world wrought by technology and ambition, and a delightfully ordinary red-headed girl who must think on her feet and grow if she is to survive.  Harry Potter crossed with Miyazaki…who could ever resist that?

 76. Avengers: Infinity War

The key to Infinity War’s successes is Thanos.  The Mad Titan had been waiting in the shadows for most of MCU’s run during the past decade; in Infinity War, we finally see him in the formidable flesh.  At once terrifying and tragic, Thanos is the most iconic villain of the 2010’s; a villain finally worth pitting an entire squad of heroes against, and perhaps, more than a match for all of them.  The film’s shocking ending and willingness to go to darker places makes this movie MCU’s The Empire Strikes Back.

 75. Alien: Covenant

Man, did Covenant get a bad rap.  Audience members branded its characters stupid, its monsters unscary, and its premise a letdown from Prometheus.  They were wrong on every count.  The characters of Covenant act as normal explorers should; not as we, in all of our omniscient wisdom, should advise them to.  The monsters are absolutely bloodcurdling; truly nasty, unrelenting creatures which are content to flay their victims alive if they cannot kill them outright.  And the story did not answer many of Prometheus’s big questions because it was simply better and more interesting than that.  I posit the reason Covenant was such a flop is not any failure on its part, but rather a failure of audiences’ openmindedness and tolerance for the macabre.  Alien: Covenant is the best Alien movie since at least Aliens; a pitch-black, bordering on nihilistic tale of bad things happening to good people.  It is also a successful conglomeration of the various qualities of Alien, Aliens, and Prometheus, and a fascinating cross-examination of an android who is too human for his own (or anybody’s) good.

 74. The Shape of Water

Amélie meets The Swamp Thing, The Shape of Water is an odd, intriguing romantic Cold War thriller that celebrates those members of society who are ostracized, marginalized, or cast aside.

 73. ParaNorman

Funny, scary, and important, Paranorman is a spooky, kid-friendly take on tolerance and the price of ignorance.

 72. Gasland

By all practical accounts, Gasland is horrifying.  This is a film that shows the surreal consequences of free-for-all fracking; water that can be set on fire, air pollution that exceeds 100x the safe limit for some toxins around fracking wells, and literal poisoning of wildlife and residents via breathing, drinking, and skin absorption.  While all of this content would make for a great documentary, it is banjo-pickin’, easy-going filmmaker Josh Fox who makes this film even better. His heartfelt personal accounts and willingness to stand aside and let the victims speak for themselves gives this documentary a warmth and decency usually missing from such explosive exposés.

 71. Wreck-It Ralph

A hilarious mash-up of video games and memorable arcade characters, Wreck-It Ralph manages to stay clever, hip, and inventive the whole way, even as it plays expertly off audience nostalgia.

 70. Green Book

Thanks in large part to its pair of terrific leads, Green Book manages to be an uproariously entertaining road trip buddy movie; even as it brings to light the racial problems which existed (and continue to exist) in America.

 69. Scott Pilgrim vs The World

Possibly the most Millennial film ever made, Scott Pilgrim is a busy, delicious barrage of video games, garage bands, pop culture references, and comics.  Intricately detailed and gut-bustingly funny, Scott Pilgrim’s supply of visual gags and uber-referential one-liners is practically (turns 8 sideways on fridge) infinite.

 68. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Winter Soldier is high-tier MCU.  The electric superhero proceedings benefit from a deliciously twisty plot, and a surprising injection of sharp political commentary.

 67. Dunkirk

One of the most viscerally intense PG-13 movies ever, Christopher Nolan’s war epic is a nightmarish tour-de-force that places viewers directly in enemy crosshairs.  In typical Nolanian fashion, however, this is also high-brow, intellectually stimulating fare.  There is not only the logistical puzzle at play of how to successfully evacuate 300,000 plus English soldiers from the French coast; Dunkirk understands warfare as a product of two extreme and opposite polarities of human nature. War cannot be waged without nasty, selfish streaks of human survival, as there will simply be no one left to fight it; neither can it be won without remarkable acts of courage and willing sacrifice.

 66. Blackfish

Deeply troubling and disturbing, Blackfish shows what happens when you take the most intelligent and sensitive animals in the world besides us and confine them in a bathtub for their entire lives.  A stirring call for respect for nature, and a long-running tally of SeaWorld’s sins, Blackfish is a must-see documentary.

 65. Contagion

Contagion is one of the decade’s scariest films.  After all, murdering mask-wearing lunatics and supernatural bumps in the night can be discounted as a trick behind the camera; but the boogeyman in Contagion almost assuredly exists, a nuke buried somewhere in the bosom of Mother Nature.  If we blunder into it, God help us all.  The film’s chilly, distant demeanor and scientific accuracy (Contagion gets bonus points for being the most scientifically accurate movie of all time) makes its depiction of a modern plague frighteningly plausible; its fixations on points of transfer are enough to convince anyone to wash their hands twice.  

 64. How to Train Your Dragon

One of the best movies to ever exit out the Dreamworks pipeline, HTTYD is an excellent parable about hate and jingoism, wrapped up in an exhilarating thrill ride that made us all want a Toothless of our own.

 63. Restrepo

Restrepo is such a hard film to gauge.  It doesn’t take aim at politics, or delve too deeply into the lives of its subjects; American soldiers in the Korangal Valley, Afghanistan.  Restrepo is content to simply put us in their boots.  Never has combat been so realistically brought to the American doorstep.  In Restrepo, one can see the terror of death, the adrenaline hit of downing an enemy, the tomfoolery of kids messing around with one another in between bouts of fighting for their lives.  This is the pure essence of modern war; in its DNA, one can see what so many directors of fiction have been trying to recapture in their work.  Restrepo is a remarkable and dangerous accomplishment; an accomplishment that would eventually cost co-director Tim Hetherington his life while shooting a subsequent film in Libya.

 62. Abominable

Dreamworks has been a rather lackluster studio in comparison to the rest of the industry.  With that being said, it is more than capable of making great movies; and Abominable is right up there with the best the studio has ever made.  This gorgeously made Asian-flavored film explores China as a meeting grounds of various philosophies; wealth and privilege versus working class, urban versus agrarian, East versus West, and how exploitation and cultural diffusion have reshaped life there.  It is also simply a wonderful tale of an introverted girl who must travel to the Himalayas to deliver a magical yeti back to nature; and how that journey unlocks her ability to grieve and connect with others.

 61. Winter’s Bone

Winter’s Bone is the movie that announced to the world that this Jennifer Lawrence person could act, I tell you h’what.  This menacing coming-of-age journey through the Ozark drugscape shows the importance of family in such poor, isolated communities as something more than a cliché of hillbilly pride; it is actually a means to survival and redemption.

 60. The Boy and the Beast

The Boy and the Beast can certainly be appreciated simply as a fantastical, colorful training/battle movie about an orphaned human boy and his cantankerous bear master.  But it is as it dives deep into the complexity of the male mind that the film fascinates thematically and generates stirring emotional resonance.  In particular, the film has something to say about the anger that can spur young men to violence, and the stabilizing force a mature male presence can have (but does not always have) on that anger.  The benefits of fatherhood extend to father-figures as well, who become more emotionally aware and sensitive, and gain deeper meaning and fulfillment in their lives. Hosoda is truly one of the best directors working in animation today, and The Boy in the Beast is typically intelligent, thematically dense work from him.

 59. The King’s Speech

A feel-good film done with classical style, The King’s Speech is an elegant, touching tale of friendship that will surely play well among lovers of The Royal Family.

 58. The Artist

Thanks to rich visual storytelling and fantastic performances, this pre-talkie throwback hardly needs words to delight.

 57. The Tale of Princess Kaguya

Isao Takahata’s final film The Tale of Princess Kaguya feels like a beautiful pastel picture book brought to life.  At once a fable of ruinous greed, classism, and sexism, it is also a haunting soliloquy of love, nature, freedom, beauty, and death…all that makes life precious.

 56. Kubo and the Two Strings

Kubo and the Two Strings makes me mad.  Not because it is a bad film; far from it.  I am angry because Kubo had everything going for it.  It had big-name actors, it had effects which pushed stop-motion to its limits, it had a big marketing push in theaters to push viewership, it had great critical reviews.  It was supposed to be Studio Laika’s crown jewel; the film that would win big at the box office and thrust the studio of perennial indie hits like Coraline and Paranorman into well-deserved limelight.  And it was good.  Like, really good!

Unfortunately, Kubo and the Two Strings flopped at the box office, for reasons I cannot imagine nor articulate in polite company.  But it will get its due here; Kubo is a stop-motion masterpiece with rich, resonant themes and ground-breaking visual effects.  It also has a rendition of “My Guitar Gently Weeps” on a Japanese samisen. So go see the damn thing.

 55. The Wind Rises

We might be getting another Miyazaki film after all, but The Wind Rises was a fantastic send-off piece for anime’s most legendary director.  This is a truly complex, mature film about the relation of beauty and art to woe and suffering, and a critical examination of the tunnel vision that often grips great artists.

 54. Knives Out

A classic whodunit tweaked for the modern era, Knives Out balances its twisty mystery proceedings with some well-timed black humor and more than a few pokes at the wealthy elite.

 53. Inside Job

A carefully researched and scathingly delivered incrimination of the greed that ruined a nation, Inside Job is one of the best documentaries of the era.

 52. Hugo

A wondrous, Dickensian-tale of an orphan who lives in a Paris train station and discovers the secret of a mysterious automaton, Hugo is an intelligent, sensitive family picture and a touching love letter to early cinema.

 51. Moonlight

Being different is hard, as I can say from firsthand experience.  While I can hardly imagine what it is to be African-American or gay, let alone both at once, Moonlight offers some glimpse into that difficult reality.  The film’s touching love story is a journey of self-acceptance and courage that is well worth seeing.  

 50. Tangled

Tangled was Disney’s announcement to the rest of the field that it was back, baby.  After a period of shaky and poorly thought-out 3-D projects in the early 2000’s, Disney took a long, hard look at itself and identified what it did best, then brought out the best of those qualities in its witty, triumphant take on Rapunzel.  Here are the songs, guffaws, villains, and magic we all love as fans, delivered perfectly into the next dimension.

 49. Source Code

Groundhog Day via sci-fi thriller, Source Code is a clever, action-packed take on time travel, but also an emotionally investing take on what it means to live each day-and life-to the fullest.

 48. Toy Story 4

Rarely has a sequel piece ever seemed as risky as Toy Story 4.  The studio had its closing piece in Toy Story 3; a film I thought was respectable but not particularly interesting.  But rather than let sleeping dogs lie, Pixar opted to throw that ending in the garbage…and pulled something far more bizarre and wonderful from the trash.  Toy Story 4 is a wacky, existential riff that acknowledges the importance of family and responsibility in our lives, while simultaneously declaring that it is okay to value ourselves outside those traditional parameters.

 47. Arrival

Arrival is hard science-fiction done exceedingly right.  Depicting an extraterrestrial visitation across the globe, Arrival seems truly tangible in a way most alien films do not, down to the very form of its decidedly non-humanoid creatures.  In vein of Contact or Interstellar, Arrival picks the brain and heartstrings with equal acumen, making it a lasting and valuable commodity to anyone’s sci-fi library.

 46. Spiderman: Homecoming

Spiderman: Homecoming is the geekiest of Spiderpieces.  This is the Spiderman where Spiderman is Go-Pro-ing himself before a big battle, or joining a quiz bowl team, or building a Lego Death Star with his nerdy confidante, complete with miniature Lego Palpatine.  Light, refreshing, and utterly hilarious, Homecoming gets a lot of mileage out of Tom Holland’s awesome portrayal, and tells a simple, uncomplicated story that doesn’t impede the shenanigans.

 45. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2

Audiences were expecting a fireworks show for Deathly Hallows: Part II, and boy did they get one. A terrifically exciting heist sequence and a grand final battle made this the most epic and exciting entry in the Harry Potter canon.  The culmination of carefully laid character arcs and sentimental links back to the series’ early days had fans smiling through their tears and punching their tickets to Platform 9 ¾ again and again.  A splendidly satisfying sendoff.

 44. Skyfall

Apparently, you can teach an old dog new tricks.  Skyfall brought Bond into the new decade in style, modernizing and sharpening all its facets while remaining, yes, Bond.  James Bond.

 43. Argo

Argo is a rock-solid retelling of a tense CIA extraction op, hitched to the allure and wonder of good old-fashioned movie making.  

 42. Free Solo

Free Solo is a marvelous documentary, and I mean that quite literally.  Marvel at the jaw-dropping heights depicted, marvel at the logistical challenges of filming a free climber without killing or distracting them (which would mean the same thing).  But most of all, marvel at the huge cojones of subject Alex Honnold, as he attempts to climb the world’s largest rock wall; without the life-saving grace of a rope. As a thrill act, Free Solo is visceral and terrifying.  But as a character study, it is equally fascinating.  The same things which make Honnold such a one in a billion talent are the same things which cripple him emotionally and socially.  Watching Honnold slowly start to conquer these own personal obstacles-even as he prepares for the physical obstacle of his life-is a truly satisfying experience.

 41. The Lego Movie

Endlessly imaginative and hilariously subversive, The Lego Movie is not only a worthy standard-bearer of its iconic toy brand, but also a glorious celebration of creativity and free expression.

 40. Snowpiercer

I’m gonna describe Snowpiercer using single word describers.  Okay?  Hilarious. Bloody.  Ambitious.  Tragic. Exhilarating.  Revolutionary.  F***ing insane.  Okay, that last one was two words.  How about amazing?  Yeah. Amazing works.  This dystopian satirical piece is a mad thrill ride on a runaway train through an environmentally wrecked world, and it is one of the craziest things I’ve ever loved in my life.

 39. Moneyball

This movie is a sports genre gamechanger about a sports genre gamechanger; that is, the “Moneyball” strategy that forever changed the world of baseball evaluation.  Watched purely on the terms of its baseball X’s and O’s, Moneyball succeeds.  However, it is the tale of lovable loser Billy Beane, and the film’s assertion that winning comes second to loving yourself, that really turns this hit into a home run.

 38. The Social Network

As eccentric and brilliant as its central genius, The Social Network depicts the synthesis of Facebook as an unflattering mirror for the site itself; that it is often driven by negative emotions of inadequacy, jealousy, and loneliness, and serves as a proxy for the real social interactions we require for fulfillment and happiness.  Slickly edited, funny, and smart, this is one of the most iconic and generational films of the decade.

 37. Gravity

The opening few minutes of Gravity is one of the most intense movie scenes not only of this decade, but of all time.  From there, the tension just barely relents.  Suspenseful and tightly-spun as a space survival story, Gravity is also a technical marvel which redefined zero-G cinema forever; and made us eternally thankful we are safely on the ground.

 36. Beasts of the Southern Wild

Beasts of the Southern Wild is a ground-level view of poverty and climate change in the Mississippi River Delta region, seen through the eyes of a child.  Quvenzhané Wallis brings her role to life with an incredible child performance, and lends this work a sense of deep intimacy and emotional resonance, even as it grasps at themes which are national to global in scale.

 35. Incredibles 2

Incredibles 2 is one of Pixar’s best ever sequels.  Here are the same witty, relatable family dynamics we fell in love with in Incredibles 1; but the superhero shenanigans have been one-upped and then some.  In fact, Incredibles 2 has the best action sequences I have ever seen in a 3-D animated film.  Add in a smart ideological battle between the current age’s (perhaps correct) cold cynicism and yesterday’s quixotic beliefs, and you have one of the best superhero movies ever, as well as a film that arguably beats out its OG.

 34. Guardians of the Galaxy

I admit that from the film’s opening credits, where Chris Pratt canters across an alien planet to “Come and Get Your Love” and utilizes a scurrying lizard creature as his own personal microphone, that I was sold on Guardians of the Galaxy.  This is one of those rare works like Shrek or Princess Bride that simultaneously skewers and elevates its genre; in this case, the old-timey B-movie science-fiction flick.  A riotously funny movie that just doesn’t give a (expletive), Guardians of the Galaxy is also surprisingly poignant when it chooses to draw its eclectic bunch of outlaws into an impromptu family.  This is absolutely one of the best films in the MCU.

 33. Coco

A gorgeous, vibrant love letter to Mexico full of zesty music, Coco has some big things to say about art and its link to memory, and how exploitation can tarnish its beauty. Pixar has once again illustrated a remarkable ability to craft a world utterly original and believable in its own rich details and machinations; a world which sets a grand stage for its intimate story.  It has also once again illustrated an ability to make us all cry our eyes out.  Curse you, Pixar!

 32. Her

The film that made a romance between an artificial intelligence and Joaquin Phoenix work somehow, Her is a thoughtful and sensitive film that expands our definition of love to encompass all levels of intimacy and circumstance.  It is also, to my knowledge, the most gentle and hopeful AI movie ever made, and it deserves commendation for that.

 31. Spotlight

Spotlight is a black hole. This film about the Boston Globe’s reporting on the Catholic Church’s coverup of child molestations by priests starts off slowly, then sucks you in more and more, gathering its mass until you are crushed under all the weight of deception, apathy, pain, and despair.  I suppose this is also a strong allegory for the value of reporting or something like that, but frankly, I was too upset for most of the film’s duration to notice.  As a lifelong Catholic, Spotlight made me feel utterly betrayed and angry; not only at the Church, but also at myself for sleeping at the wheel. This simply cannot happen again.

 30. Citizenfour

Citizenfour qualifies as arguably the most important film of the decade.  Laura Poitras’s documentary on government informant Edward Snowden is an intellectual horror flick; full of deserved paranoia, stunning overreaches of executive power, and spooky mirrors to the Orwellian nightmare of 1984. Citizenfour reveals how the alluring promise of the internet has betrayed us, and provided a means to the exponential surveillance of everyone in our supposedly free Western society.

 29. Marvel’s The Avengers

Avengers seemed like a fantasy project when it was announced.  How could anybody hope to make a movie about not one superhero, not two superheroes, but a whole team of them, without sacrificing narrative coherence, without losing sight of the big personalities at play?  Joss Whedon proved such an all-star game could be possible, and somehow, work synergistically.  This is one of the biggest popcorn movies ever, and it changed the expectations for superhero flicks towards bigger, grander, better. The success of Avengers also established MCU as the defining franchise of the 2010’s; and perhaps, beyond.

 28. Inception

Inception’s script took Christopher Nolan 10 years to tweak, and watching the film you can believe it. This is a 3-D maze of a caper/heist movie, in which dreams form the substance of worlds stacked atop one another. It is a devilishly tricky exercise, but one that is done with the greatest precision and execution. Featuring impressive and trippy set-pieces, one of the generation’s best femme fatales, massively cerebral ideas, eerie atmosphere, and an insidious sense of ambiguity, Inception kept me awake for quite some time after I watched it at two in the morning.

 27. Room

Focusing on a kidnapped mother and her young son Jack, who has only known captivity, Room could have been a very dark movie.  Instead, it chooses to tack a different route; how do we survive trauma, both its initial effects and its aftermath, and triumph over it?  

The film is sold by Brie Larson and Jacob Tremblay.  Larson deservingly won an Oscar for her role;  Tremblay’s performance is the best child performance I have ever seen.  Together, they create a mother-son relationship that is utterly real and compelling.  The film is also noteworthy for its camerawork, which is used very effectively to suggest changes in Jack’s worldview as he grows older.

 26. Django Unchained

Brash, bold, and unapologetic, Django Unchained is a gloriously socially-conscious revenge fantasy. Featuring buckets of blood and Wild West shoot ‘em up gunfights against Klansmen and slave-holders, the film charts the course of a former slave on his way to rescue his sweetheart from the clutches of a diabolical slave owner.  

 25. Lincoln

Thanks to yet another star turn from acting legend Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln is a witty and warm biopic of one of our greatest presidents.  It is also a glimmer of encouragement during the political gridlock and dysfunction of the early 2010’s.  Rather than proving democracy does not work, Lincoln seems to argue, such issues are actually a sign of a functioning and healthy democracy.  Our ability to disagree strongly with one another and come to imperfect compromises in order to solve our problems is our country’s greatest legacy.  It was also the means to the passing of our noblest and most overdue piece of legislation: The 13th Amendment.

24. Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Won’t You Be My Neighbor is, for me, the best documentary of the decade.  Focusing on the extraordinary Mr. Fred Rogers, the film does a great job of humanizing Mr. Rogers; revealing his insecurities, relentless drive, and sly sense of humor (often through dream-like Daniel Tiger animated sequences) while demonstrating that yes, he really was that good of a person.  As it progresses, the film grows increasingly melancholic and encompassing.  The qualities Mr. Rogers stood for-namely, understanding, love, honesty, and respect-seem sorely lacking in today’s society.  Even more distressingly, it would seem the saintly Rogers was beginning to have his own doubts about his life’s work as the cruelty and hate of the 21st century emerged in full on 9/11.  Won’t You Be My Neighbor expresses human goodness as something fragile which must be fostered and prioritized by all of us if Mr. Rogers’ message is to mean something in our modern world.

 23. Moana

Moana’s audiovisuals are off the charts amazing.  The lush tropical landscapes and utterly lifelike oceans make this the most graphically impressive 3-D animated work I’ve ever seen.  The soundtrack, partially composed by Lin-Manuel Miranda, stands as one of Disney’s best all time.  But it is Moana herself, the titular princess, who stands as the film’s greatest game-changer.  Realistically proportional, of Pacific Islander descent, and strong enough to carry a story without a love interest, Moana is a refreshingly modern character utterly in command of her own destiny.  Add in a rich story steeped in Polynesian culture and veined with environmental undertones, and you get the new high bar for the Disney Princess Movie.

 22. The Breadwinner

The Breadwinner is a testament that must be heard.  Adapted by Cartoon Saloon from Deborah Ellis’s excellent book of the same name, the movie is a street-level account of Parvana, a young girl who goes undercover as a boy to feed her family in Taliban-era Afghanistan.  The conditions portrayed are nearly unimaginable; imagine being a prisoner in your own home, only let out for reprieve under the supervision of a male guardian.  Such was the reality of thousands of women and girls in Kabul as late as 2001.  Cartoon Saloon drenches this film in a constant, lingering fear; at the same time, normalcy is depicted and triumphed. Siblings still squabble.  Clothes are still washed, meals are still cooked and eaten, water is still fetched.  Stories are still told.  The Breadwinner is not just Parvana’s tale; it is the voice of the thousands who live in war-torn or oppressive societies worldwide, and yet still make their own brand of normalcy, still form expression and find joy.  Their daily survival is an inspiration to us all; their story is to glimpse the resiliency and spark of the human spirit.

 21. A Quiet Place

A Quiet Place is one of the most auspicious debuts I can remember.  First time director John Krasinki makes his creature feature a masterwork of tension and clever sound editing, and crafts an indelible world where so much as a pin dropping puts everyone on pins and needles.

 20. Inside Out

Pixar’s peek inside a child’s mind is a work of the utmost intelligence and sensitivity.  Intuitive enough for even the youngest viewers to understand, yet nuanced enough to describe the transition of a human consciousness from child to adult with painful clarity, Inside Out is one of the studio’s very best features, and a strong defense of mental health and self-expression.

 19. Your Name

For so long, director Makoto Shinkai was an exercise in frustration.  5 Centimeters Per Second was gorgeous.  Garden of Words was the most visually stunning 2-D animation I had ever seen.  And yet the writing was pedantic.  The plot was tepid, the characters flat.  I would watch these films, eye candy at its most pure and non-nutritional, and seethe that they were not better, that all that glorious potential was yet unrealized. And yet, I never stopped believing in the potential of Makoto Shinkai.  One day, I reasoned, this guy was going to piece a story together with some semblance of care as he did his illustrations, and on that day something special would be born.

I saw Your Name just a short time ago.  Of course it’s jaw-droppingly beautiful, that goes without saying.  But here’s what else it is, folks: it’s funny.  It’s heartwrenching.  It’s suspenseful.  It’s got plot twists.  It’s got a story.  And not just a good story, but a GREAT one.  

I imagine watching this movie must be like watching your kid graduate high school.  You forget all the mouthing off and dirty socks left all over the place and that fender bender with your new car, and just soak in the glow of that special moment you always believed would come.  You couldn’t be happier.  You couldn’t be prouder.  And you know this is the beginning of something truly wonderful.

Congratulations, Mr. Shinkai.  You did it, man.

 18. Interstellar

The knock on Christopher Nolan was always that he had the heart of a robot and didn’t have strong female characters.  Debate whether that is true of his other films, if you must; but not this one, because Interstellar is possibly the biggest tear-jerker in sci-fi history, and Jessica Chastain’s Murph is a bitter, brilliant centerpiece to it all. Interstellar stands tall as one of the best science-fiction films of the decade.  It has strong, ambitious science wrapped in glorious visual effects, and is very quietly a solid piece of Americana, lovingly arrayed amidst America’s cornfields and dusty roads in a tribute to The Great Depression.  Most of all, however, Interstellar is a wondrous joining of heart and intellect, a working theoretical thought experiment that demonstrates love is a force greater than gravity, space, time, or any other cosmic entity the universe may foist upon us.

 17. The Force Awakens

While it is not number one on my list, perhaps no film brought me greater joy this decade than watching The Force Awakens during its Thursday night premiere.  It was nothing less than the very Star Wars movie I had hoped and dreamed for as a kid.  As a massively entertaining blockbuster surpassing huge expectations, Star Wars: The Force Awakens is terrific.  As a perfect passing of torch from beloved old to promising new, it is an utter triumph.

 16. Rogue One

Okay, is my bias showing yet?

Perhaps this is a bit steep for some people, but heck, when you are dealing with the second-best movie in one of Hollywood’s most beloved franchises, you have to give props where props are due.  Rogue One is such a gamechanger for Star Wars.  Its gritty, pulpy sense of realism seems peeled straight from a Star Wars comic book; its characters immediately strike as memorable, particularly K-2SO, who is like C-3PO if C-3PO got sent to prison and came back jacked.  Rogue One also is important for its many departures from tradition.  Many of the innovations credited to Episode VIII were done first-and done better-in this film.  Rogue One is not afraid to show the rebellion in terms of moral gray; a shocking act shortly after the film’s opening establishes this and destroys the previous model of basic black and white good vs. evil.  If Luke, Leia, and Han got to play the part of hero in A New Hope, then it was because there were elements in the Rebellion doing the dirty and morally-questionable grunt work shown here; Rogue One shows how the war was won.

Rogue One also introduces a few other themes riffed heavily by Episode VIII, including the idea that the Rebellion/Resistance is not a neat, idealistic counter to oppression but an uneasy conglomerate ravaged by internal conflict, and that force-sensitive people are not necessarily the product of hereditary chains of Jedi and Sith, but often sporadic and independent products of the Force.  It is, on top of what it initiated, simply a well-paced and superbly-crafted piece of space opera.  Rogue One has the best romance (besides Han and Leia) in Star Wars history, has hands-down THE BEST Vader scene ever filmed and another that is a classic in its own right, and has one heck of a villain in Director Krennic. Krennic is one of those mid-level bureaucrats that must have always existed for the Empire but which never received such deserved attention before; his position of weakness, coupled with burning ambition, makes him a hilariously pathetic figure, one you might begin to feel bad for were he not such a nasty piece of work.  Even the soundtrack is great.  Rogue One is a war film, and Michael Giacchino of Medal of Honor fame makes this sound like a war film, even though it also sounds very much like Star Wars. Ultimately, that’s what Rogue One is. It is a Star Wars film that manages to be a war film and everything else it wants to be terrifically well.  To hell with it.  I’m putting it this high.  If you have a problem with Rogue One being the #16 movie on my list, you can go kiss a wampa’s backside.

 15. Roma

Like its protagonist-a nanny to a wealthy family in 1970’s era Mexico-Roma is a film of marvelous patience and understated strength.  Alfonso Cuarón’s otherworldly composition and autobiographical authenticity makes this movie a deeply complex take on class and gender, as well as a heartbreaking meditation on what it means to love and be part of a family.

 14. Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse

Spiderverse was such a brilliant reimagination of what the superhero genre could be.  Not only did it break convention by featuring an African-Hispanic-American kid as its protagonist; it prismed a classic Marvel character in danger of going stale into a delightful and zany spectrum.  At once funny as hell and a poignant portrait of growing up as a minority in America, Spiderverse isn’t just the great animated Spiderman movie that nobody saw coming; it’s one of the best superhero movies ever made.

 13. Baby Driver

Baby Driver is the coolest movie of the decade.  The film centers around Baby, a gentle young getaway driver locked up in bad deals with bad hombres, motoring through traffic and criminal plots in an attempt to just get out and get his girl; but it is so much more than that.  This is Tarantino, juiced up on Bullitt, playing in time to a nonstop eclectic jukebox.  The dialogue is sharp and hilarious, the characters are all immediately memorable and lovable (even the baddies), and it should go without saying that the car chases are PHENOMENAL.  This is entertainment on nitrous oxide.

 12. Lady Bird

I did not go into Lady Bird expecting great things.  Lady Bird is a family drama.  I, for the record, do not like family dramas.  But I liked this one.  I liked this one a heck of a lot.

Lady Bird is told with so much humor and honesty about the mistakes we make as kids and parents.  Struggles for independence and control, respectively, fuel furious arguments and alienation during the difficult period of adolescence.  It is not until later that we gain the wisdom to understand why we fought and gain a richer understanding and appreciation of one another’s feelings.  In Lady Bird, there is a key revelation regarding the girl and her mother that seems to unfold at the film’s close.  It is a profound and emotionally resonant moment that brings the film around to a highly satisfying conclusion.

This movie is also one of the first “time capsule” pieces on the early 2000’s.  As we grow older, I would expect more of these films to emerge, but as of right now Lady Bird is the only one that comes to mind.  The film absolutely nails the sense of growing up in a troubled time; the Iraq War blares constantly on the news, full-time employment becomes a tenuous prospect no matter how qualified you are, and gay rights are still something very much in infancy.  Lady Bird plays out its teenage struggles against this backdrop, showing how such crises were navigated, albeit painfully sometimes, and overcome.  Few films have been so well-rounded, nuanced, and well-crafted this decade.

 11. Song of the Sea

If you are unaware of the name Tomm Moore, it may be time to become acquainted, as the guy has been killing animation since he first stepped onto the scene with Secret of Kells in 2009. It is no exaggeration to call him the Irish Miyazaki; and Song of the Sea his Spirited Away.  Like that film, there is a deeply human story to be told, but it is all dressed up in fantastical trappings.  In Spirited Away, a girl struggling to grow up found herself working in a spirit bathhouse.  Song of the Sea uses Irish mythology as a gateway to understand the deep and complicated love between siblings, and the necessity of expressing and sharing loss.

This is one of the most beautiful animated pictures this decade.  Were the framed stills not hundreds of dollars on Cartoon Saloon’s website (yes, I’ve looked at them), I would probably own at least a few by now. The animation style is so distinctive and innately appealing, with gentle watercolors that soothe and invite the mind. The Celtic musical arrangements are similarly intricate, wonderful, and soothing.  Together, story, art, and music come together, and work some deep and affecting magic on the soul.  Song of the Sea should be regarded as one of the best animated films this decade.    

 10. Sicario

Sicario is an utterly bleak, magnificent film that truly depicts the drug war as it is; a chaotic maelstrom of murder, torture, and corruption, spinning and spinning with no end in sight.  In such a storm, there is no moral high ground to claim, let alone hold.  There is only power to control which direction the storm is heading next, whom it will chew up and devour in its path.  And as for the powerless, the best they can hope for is to stay out of its way.  Sicario is a sharp critique of American drug policy and a stark glimpse into the grim reality of cartels, packaged perfectly as an ultra-violent thriller.

 9. Looper

It is hard to do a time travel story well.  Managing plot threads makes plots a nightmare; it is a difficult juggling act merely to keep one’s head above water.  That is what makes Looper so special.  It is not only a cool-looking, cyberpunk-flavored noir that manages its logic very well; it also features great characters, and larger overarching themes of fate and redemption it advances via those same logistical acrobatics.  Looper blew my mind the first time I saw it.  It is easily one of the best time travel stories ever, and a sci-fi classic to boot.

 8. Blade Runner 2049

It is going to ruffle some feathers to say this, but I think Blade Runner 2049 is even better than the original Blade Runner.  While Ridley Scott’s dark, smoggy Los Angeles will always be iconic, Blade Runner 2049 had Roger Deakins behind the camera, and he took us to sections of our nightmarish future we had never been before.  Patterns of solar farms set up outside of town to feed swathes of humanity.  A post-apocalyptic landfill outside of town for the city’s forsaken.  Best of all, a neon-orange radioactive Las Vegas.  That seems to be the common theme of 2049.  It has taken all the best features of Ridley’s classic and expanded them while trimming down the less successful elements.  The defining theme of Blade Runner-what makes us human-is here expounded upon and taken to even deeper levels.  And the film’s beautiful ending brings the franchise to a truly satisfying conclusion.

 7. Zootopia

Zootopia feels like Disney’s final evolution.  The cute critters from its primordial past have fully anthropomorphized, to the point that they must contend with some of the same societal ills as us; chief among them prejudice.  Visually gorgeous, full of top-notch tongue-in-cheek gags, and the slickest, most concise cartoon buddy cop riff since at least Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Zootopia counts as one of the most finely crafted animated features I’ve ever seen.  Its timely message, coupled with its fantastic quality and outreach potential to the young, makes it one of those rare movies that can change the world.

 6. Ex Machina

Ex Machina is one of the most finely-tuned and lean films science-fiction has to offer.  In the age of growing research into artificial intelligence, it is also vastly important.  Many films have explored the issues associated with artificial intelligence, but few have so fully delved into the ethical quagmires which might arise.  Creating new minds means accepting responsibility for the lives of welfare of other beings.  Are we prepared to do such a thing?  We, who are constantly waging war and victimizing one another?  Also, if we are so morally limited, how can we avoid passing on negative traits to our digital children, who will be vastly more powerful and intelligent than us?  What if they think differently than us?  The possibility of misunderstandings would be catastrophic for both parties.

Ex Machina explores all of these issues with deep intelligence and building tension.  This film is one of those beautifully ambiguous works I love so much that require you to pay attention and come to your own conclusions.  The primary question in the film asked of the characters is the same one the film asks you: is Ava, the artificial intelligence in question, essentially human?  For me, the question was left unanswered until the final, remarkable, tragic shot.  

 5. The Revenant

Bloody as hell and absolutely gorgeous, The Revenant is a deep plunge into our primal hearts, into the remarkable human invention of identity.  At the most fundamental level, we are all the same species; we share the same roots, the same trunk.  Yet by means of our human experiences, our courses of life and interactions with other humans, we draw deep fundamental lines between one another.  These lines are powerful things.  They are what we see ourselves as.  We draw lines of genetic heritage; lines of cultures born into, or adopted.  Lines brand certain people as friends, while others remain strange or alien.  Sometimes, lines can even define people as something hostile; a new species which may destroy us if it is not destroyed in turn. And there are lines which describe the people we call our families; those whom we love and protect at the most fundamental level of our being.

The Revenant draws attention to the lines we draw as human beings; how they are as deeply ingrained to us as breathing or bleeding, for better, and for worse.  Aided by director Alejandro Iñárritu’s magnificent direction, and anchored by Leonardo DiCaprio, who has never been better in his storied career, The Revenant is a deep, uncompromising gaze into our personal and national Heart of Darkness.

 4. Zero Dark Thirty

Zero Dark Thirty became the unfortunate victim of warring politics.  Right-wingers decried the portrayal of torture in the movie, while leftists criticized the movie’s account of torture supposedly supplying the correct information (Director Kathryn Bigelow acknowledged to Stephen Colbert her lead, being from the CIA, might be untrustworthy on that particular facet but she was operating with accuracy to her source).  That is all a shame, because such criticism misses the point of the movie entirely.  Zero Dark Thirty is made in the spirit of true and utter neutrality.  There is no political axe to grind.  There is no glorification in the act of Bin Laden’s death; in fact, the face of America’s most notorious terrorist is never shown. Zero Dark Thirty is a work of national recollection.  It begins with a deeply painful call to authorities on 9/11, and does not end until Bin Laden’s assassination over 9 years later.  In between, there is torture, bombings, false leads and frustrations, hours upon hours of poring over data and entries, and finally, that fateful, dangerous foray into Pakistan.  We are reintroduced to each of our own actions through the eyes of Maya, the CIA agent who supposedly made the case that it was in fact Bin Laden hiding in Abbottabad.  At the end of Zero Dark Thirty, the movie adds up that long tally of what we sacrificed in order to defeat our greatest enemy and posits a simple question: was it worth it? Each will have their own answer to that difficult and important question.  This is one of those rare films that forces us to review our path as a nation, examine what we did right and what we did wrong, and adjust our trajectory accordingly. Zero Dark Thirty is an essential American masterpiece, crafted by a true and powerful auteur at the top of her game.

 3. The Raid 2: Berandal

The Raid: Redemption was a revelation in what could be attempted in a martial arts movie.  Its creators decided that wasn’t enough and upped the ante. What ensued was the madness of Berandal.

The stuntwork of Berandal has to be seen to be believed.  Some participants were knocked out cold; it is amazing nobody was killed.  It is doubtful something like this will ever (or should ever) be attempted again, so we may as well enjoy it.  There are car chases, assassins affectionately known as “Bat Boy” and “Hammer Girl”, simply loads and loads of fantastic martial arts combat, and more.  But in between all this ruckus, there is a compelling gangster story to be told, populated with fascinating characters.  A son looking to take over and dangerously expand his father’s influence; a creepy rival leader who cheerfully pulls out razors for throat-slitting; a sad, old-timer assassin who confesses to his daughter that killing was the only way to provide for her; an informant, caught in the middle of the maelstrom and sweating out the possibility that he will be discovered and never make it back to his young family; and of course, Hammer Girl.  She’s my favorite.  

In The Raid: Redemption, character Mad Dog talked about the pulse.  Berandal is that pulse, fully transposed into brutal, symbolic symphony, in which the façade of civilization and negotiations between thugs break down into savage, unbridled violence.  This is the best action movie ever, and the Indonesian Godfather, all rolled into one.

 2. Avengers: Endgame

No list of top films of the decade would be complete without Avengers: Endgame.  It’s the biggest blockbuster in history; and for once, that title is deserved.  Nothing like it had ever been attempted before; indeed, it may be hard to do ever again.  Facing 1 in 14 million odds, the Russo brothers pulled off a miracle, wasting not a moment in a three hour movie that never feels long and completing the arcs of over a dozen beloved characters, en route to a final and wholly satisfying conclusion to the most ambitious film project ever attempted.  If that wasn’t enough, there are more than enough in-jokes, clever riffs on past movies, and sensational action pieces to please even the most critical fan.  Avengers: Endgame is the closest to pure catharsis you can feel, and without a doubt the best superhero movie ever made.  I confess that I moved it back and forth between #1 and #2 on my list at least a few times; ultimately I left it at #2, with the compromise that even if it cannot be called the best movie of the decade, it will forever be known as THE film of the decade.  

 1. Wolf Children

Wolf Children is one of those movies you come across that can only be described as magical.  As a simple tale of motherhood, it succeeds. As a complex allegory for race and adolescence, it works equally well.  It can be shown to the young.  It can be shown to the old.  It can be shown to all in between.  It is sublimely beautiful, patient, and paced.  It is excellently scored.  It has some of the most fully-realized characters ever depicted in animation.  It is warm.  It is gentle.  It is funny. It is sad.  It is life; in all its unpredictability, twists and turns, and wonder.

But I think the reason I truly love Wolf Children is because it engages with the two most difficult and important aspects of being a good, healthy, happy human; how do I love others, and how do I love myself?  Wolf Children shows us a truly rapturous example.  For being the most beautiful movie, both inside and out, I have seen this past decade, and for a whole host of other reasons, Wolf Children deserves to top this list.  Truly, it is Alpha Wolf.

[sarahaltmanposts]

An Ode to the Gymnastics Mom

December 14, 2018

Taking a much needed break from the cancer blogs to write about a new season.  Nope, I’m not talking about Fall or Winter, but gymnastics competition season.  

My younger son is a competitive gymnast.  Although he trains year round, his current competition season has just begun. So around this time of year I start to get that feeling.  Ugh.  I recognize it right away- a feeling in the pit of my stomach that starts very small in October and grows exponentially through the end of his season in May. I’ve dubbed this with several names based on the affects it has on my body: my seasonal diet, mommy nerves, and gymnastics tummy. Just one of the wonderful reminders that I’m a gym mom.

I’m not sure if moms experience this with their kids in every activity. I certainly don’t have the same feelings with my older son as a musical theater performer. I mean, I guess kids compete for different roles in a show, and watching him on stage can be a little stressful, but it doesn’t create nearly the same level of nerves and tension that I experience with gymnastics.

This is my son’s sixth competitive season, so it’s not like it’s a new experience.  At the beginning, I was surprised by the amount of stress I felt at these competitions.  Having been a competitive gymnast myself, (but not nearly as capable as my son), I had a sense of what the sport was about.  But in my new role as mom to a gymnast, I had no idea what I was getting myself into!

I confess to watching a few episodes of “Dance Moms” several years ago.  In my experience, Gym Moms (and Dads) don’t go that far, but we are a batty bunch and there has been quite a learning line on how to navigate the competitive waters and parent an athlete.

I love to watch my son.  He is a beautiful combination of grace and strength.  I find something so compelling about watching him grapple with new skills and take on the challenge of perfecting them.  His determination and strong will are so admirable.  Not to mention, he just looks really cool doing this stuff.   There’s just something about watching a person do something they love that draws me in and affects me so deeply.  It’s not unusual for me to be moved to tears watching ice skating, a great number from a musical, a piano or violin soloist, or anyone who is immersed in their passion. I see such beauty in their talent and it tugs at my heartstrings.  And even though my son’s just eleven years old, his love for the sport is overwhelmingly evident. So I try to stay out of the coaches way, while watching from a distance.  But come competition season, things get a little more tense.

Gymnastics is considered a competitive team sport.  But in its essence, the gymnast gets one opportunity to present his routine to a judge who determines the score. And that score influences both the team and individual results.  One chance- that’s it.  So many hours of training, but when it comes down to it, they get a single shot at a competition.  ONE.  He takes one mis step, places his hand off by a millimeter, loses focus for an instant, and that could be the difference between doing well and doing poorly.  This creates a tremendous amount of pressure for us parents at competitions; comparatively, the boys seem to handle it much better!

I’ve often wondered what I look like at a competition?  Remember Aly Raisman’s parents at the last Olympics?  They were doing every move with her as she competed.  Yeh, it’s kinda like that for me.  Only worse. I had a horrible mom moment at one competition when my son fell off one of his stronger events.  I had a reflexive reaction as the word “Shit!” exploded out of my mouth.  And it was loud.  Really loud. And I’m not even a curser! I was so embarrassed and quickly apologized to the other parents around me.  Oof.  Not a proud moment for me at all.

And my craziness extends beyond the gym during competition season. I become hyper vigilant about germs. Any sign of an illness within fifty feet of my son and I become the germ police.  I encourage A LOT of hand washing.  I use homeopathic remedies to boost his immune system.  And I freak out  (mostly silently, but sometimes aloud) if I see other kids around my son who are sick.  I try to keep the paranoia to a minimum, but one illness can put him at a disadvantage or take him out of competition. And we certainly can’t have that.

Right about now you’re thinking I’m nuts, right?  Wait, it gets worse.

During the last competition season, my son’s coach approached me to give me a little coaching.  “You need to enjoy his competitions more. When I look over at you, your face is all red and you look so worried.”  Uh.  Yeh.  (I guess that answers the question of what I look like during competitions. And btw hot flash + competition = red face/ very unpleasant!) But I got his point and made a concerted effort to let go and try to enjoy these competitions.  I’m certainly making progress, but wow, it’s hard.  I’m aware of the skills to look out for- the one’s he’s concerned about. And I want him to succeed.  Is that so bad?

And that’s one of the hardest parts for me. The nature of competition is that someone wins, right?  Our kids are part of a team, true, but  they compete for individual awards.  So when my son began competing years ago, I found myself feeling threatened.  And I’m embarrassed to admit that these feelings expressed themselves in very unattractive ways.  I mean, I didn’t go all crazy mom, yelling at the judges like I’ve seen with some baseball and soccer moms on the news.  But I found myself creating adversaries with some of the other parents (mostly in my head, but some played out in reality) for the sole reason that their child was more talented than mine.  I know, it’s horrible; I’m presently burying my head in shame. And what’s worse is that I was painfully aware of the bad feelings inside that were provoking this behavior.  I judged myself, beat myself up, and continued to question why I was having this experience.

Luckily, my education has offered me the skills to examine my feelings and behavior.  And after a great deal of introspection over the past several years, I got really clear and painfully honest with myself.  The truth is that the feelings I experience have very little to do with my son and gymnastics, but are more a reflection of the way I’m holding on to and judging my own inadequacies. Ugh, take a moment to let that settle.

Sure, my son is not the only one making an investment in the sport. We’ve done a lot to accommodate his passion and the entire family has made sacrifices. The choice to homeschool him was not an easy one. (That’s a whole other blog!) The financial commitment is tremendous; without support from my sister, much of his training would be impossible.  And then there’s the time commitment, driving him to and from every workout.  He’s at the gym twice a day most days, about twenty-six hours a week. And some competitions have us traveling.  If I weren’t a stay at home mom, none of this would be possible.  

And as his mother, witnessing him coming home sore, swollen, and exhausted is tough; not to mention the numerous injuries and doctor’s visits. And trying to discern which injury requires a doctor’s visit and which cold symptom should keep him out of the gym for a workout has taken quite a bit of learning. My desire has always been to support him in his passion, but there are days that he’s just beaten down physically or emotionally and it’s hard to witness without questioning what this is doing to him in the long run. So I’ve had to learn that there are just bad workout days (weeks or even months) and my job is to support him through those times.  And separate.  I have to separate my feelings from the whole situation and look at it as objectively as possible.  Some days I’m better at that than others

But the truth is, all of this wouldn’t be causing so much upset in me unless it was triggering something deeper. And here’s the awareness that’s most painful for me to acknowledge: I am attaching my own worth to our boy’s accomplishments.  Ouch!  Even though I’ve been working with this awareness for a while, it still hurts to admit and share it aloud and openly. There’s so much shame and pain involved in this truth.  It ties in with some very core issues about my own self-worth.

I can see how this misinterpretation evolved.  I chose to stay home with the boys, leaving my career as a Casting Director. I don’t regret that for a second, but by doing this, the BOYS became my career.  And there’s no yearly progress review or bonus from supervisors marking my success in my career as a  mom. So I began to judge how well I was doing at my job as a mom by basing it on how well the boys were doing. Were they happy and successful?  It seems that’s a HUGE trap for us stay at home moms. When the boys are doing well, my self-worth was in tact, but if they’re doing poorly, I internalize it and it surfaces as my own failure.

It has taken a lot of work to shift away from this way of thinking. I’ve had to change the hardwiring I’ve created in my head that has led to these misinterpretations. I work with a lot of self-forgiveness and releasing of judgments. And mostly, I remind myself that these beautiful children have their own experience that has absolutely nothing to do with me.  They call into their lives the experiences they need to evolve on their own Spiritual journey. And I’m merely here to love them through it as best I can.  

I’ve apologized to those parents who were affected by my behavior several years ago. I’ve even shared some of my learning with them. It seems we agree that as parents of gymnasts we want all the boys to do well.  We just want our own child to do better. So yes, I cheer for all the boys on the team and I genuinely want them to do great!  I also genuinely want my kid to do better. That’s just the plain old truth.

Gymnastics has offered my son so much.  He is learning discipline, respect, the meaning of hard work, social and leadership skills, and determination. He has a great group of friends. He has an amazingly healthy, strong body and is laying the ground work that will lead him to find success in whatever he chooses to do with his future. And most importantly, he LOVES the sport.  

The sport has presented me with many gifts as well.  In addition to providing me with experiences and opportunities to deepen my learning, I’ve also made some amazing friends. We  share a common bond, going through all the trials and tribulations of learning how to parent an athlete together. And I would imagine most of us are experiencing a slew of similar emotions revolving around the sport. These parents have not only stood by me at competitions when I’m feeling upset or worried, but they were the first ones to jump into action when I received my cancer diagnosis.  And they’ve remained supportive through my entire treatment.  These families and coaches have become part of my family and I’m so grateful.

So while my son is gaining so much by participating in this sport, he is unknowingly helping his mom evolve too.  As he flips and twists, I am going through my own type of emotional and spiritual acrobatics, doing my best to find my center and live a life of purpose and alignment.  

There will be many ups and downs in my son’s gymnastics career.  With any luck, we can both stick our landings!

In loving,

Sarah

[ultrasfcb-blog]

World Cup 2018: England expects - but how do their rivals feel?

World Cup 2018: England expects - but how do their rivals feel?

World Cup 2018: England expects – but how do their rivals feel?

World Cup 2018: What would happen if England actually won the World Cup?

2018 Fifa World Cup last 16 Venue: Russia Dates: 30 June – 3 July Coverage: Watch live on BBC TV, Red Button and iPlayer, BBC Sport website and app; listen on Radio 5 live; follow text updates online

“It’s coming home.”

As World Cup fever builds among England fans, that phrase has become something of a soundtrack to the tournament in Russia.

Having lifted the trophy in 1966, the Three Lions are the only previous winners in the bottom half of the draw, which is regarded as the easier route to the final in Moscow on 15 July.

Sweden, runners-up in 1958, are the only other team in that section to have reached the final, with Colombia, Switzerland, Croatia and hosts Russia looking to get there for the first time.

Russian fans were dancing on the streets of Moscow after their shock victory over Spain, but were they singing pridot domoy (it’s coming home) too?

BBC Monitoring has taken a look at the hype, or lack of, in the countries who could stand in England’s way.

Switzerland (Fifa world ranking – 6)

“We’re not allowed to come home before 16 July,” Switzerland striker Breel Embolo told Le Nouvelliste, referring to the day after the World Cup final.

Embolo has just returned to Russia after a short trip home to be at the birth of his daughter, and has seen how excited people are about Switzerland’s progress.

“People I bumped into asked me to keep it up,” he said. “I will tell my team-mates that we are not alone – thousands of people in Switzerland are supporting us.”

The Swiss finished second in Group E behind Brazil and face fellow European side Sweden in the last 16 on Tuesday (15:00 BST).

Victory would take them into the quarter-finals for the first time since 1954, and news website 24 Heures said the country “will meet its fate”.

“Switzerland dreams,” it said. “After the talk must come the actions.

“Manager Vladimir Petkovic and his team could make history by beating a solid Sweden. This time, they can’t miss their chance.”

Colombia (16)

The last time England played Colombia at a World Cup

Colombia reached the knockout stage by finishing top of Group H, and have set their sights on spoiling England’s party.

The South American side have had mixed results against European teams at the World Cup, winning three, drawing two and losing five.

But with James Rodriguez, Radamel Falcao and Juan Fernando Quintero in their ranks, they are a dangerous outfit, and reached the quarter-finals of the last World Cup in Brazil.

“Under the technical direction of Jose Pekerman, the Tricolor has gradually shaken off the dominating teams,” says daily newspaper El Pais. “On Tuesday, it is time for England. Will the good streak under ‘Don Jose’ as a coach last?”

Elsewhere, fiebredefutbol.co reflects on several of the big nations suffering shock exits, leaving the draw open.

“Colombia in the ‘less difficult’ part of the tournament?” it asks. “It would be silly to describe it as easy.

“The surprise elimination of champions Germany and other surprises like Croatia winning Group D over Argentina caused a change to the board, leaving one side of the table imbalanced compared to the other.”

Croatia (20)

Highlights: Croatia 1-1 Denmark (3-2 on pens)

Croatia finished third at the 1998 World Cup in France and are widely regarded as the most dangerous team in the bottom half.

They won all three of their group games, including a 3-0 dismantling of two-time champions Argentina.

Then came a dramatic penalty shootout victory over Denmark – captain Luka Modric showing his character by taking a penalty in the shootout after missing one in extra time.

And there is plenty of optimism around the Croatian camp.

“In order to get to the end, one needs luck,” said a commentary on index.ru. “One needs to have balls to try again after missing the first time.

“Croatia has finally got rid of the last psychological barrier – an aura of doom which has followed the squad ever since Vienna [when Croatia lost to Turkey in a penalty shootout in the quarter-finals of Euro 2008]. It is finally on the scrapheap of history.

“The last reason is now gone for manager Zlatko Dalic and his squad not to embrace the favourable draw and say they are going to the end.”

Should they beat Russia in the quarter-finals, Croatia will head to the Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow, which is hosting one semi-final and the final.

“We can already see Moscow through the binoculars,” said a piece in Vecernji List online. “But we need to go to Sochi first where the host country Russia awaits.

“Croatia is still there and there is no stopping now.”

Sweden (23)

It is fair to say they are not getting overly excited in Sweden. That is despite topping Group F – the one Germany were expected to win but finished bottom of.

Swedish Public Service TV has dampened any enthusiasm by quoting statisticians Gracenote who say Sweden have only a 3% chance of lifting the trophy.

Over the weekend, a columnist in tabloid newspaper Expressen appeared to be one of a few who dared hope Sweden will win, but the overriding sense is one of caution.

In the forest-covered province of Smaland, a local newspaper asked people on the street what they thought.

They found no-one is uncorking the champagne – or even starting to cool it in the fridge.

“I think we’ll beat Switzerland, and then we’ll see,” said a half-hearted local.

Russia (70)

Highlights: Spain 1-1 Russia (3-4 pens)

Russia is gripped by World Cup fever.

The hosts are the lowest-ranked team in the tournament and were predicted to go out at the group stage, but have surprised even themselves how well they have done.

It was not pretty in the last-16 match against Spain – emerging victorious on a shootout – but belief has been heightened around the nation as they prepare to face Croatia on Saturday.

“Our team can win the World Cup,” said Olympic swimmer Evgeny Korotyshkin, who won silver in the 100m butterfly at London 2012. “All of Russia now believes that they are able to do. Even the Olympics didn’t bring this much excitement to the country.”

Football commentator Denis Kazansky told Business Gazeta: “For me, this victory confirms that this is the most interesting World Cup with unpredictable results and where even teams without any star players can win.

“When Greece won the Euros in 2004, it seemed that another miracle could not reoccur. But I reckon that we can make this happen again in this World Cup.”

Perhaps Russian former footballer Vladimir Klontsak put it best.

“The appetite comes with eating,” he said. “At the beginning of the tournament everyone thought that making it past the group stage would be enough.

“Will we win the World Cup? Anything is possible!”

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'The appetite comes with eating' - are England's rivals getting excited?

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2018 Fifa World Cup last 16 Venue: Russia Dates: 30 June – 3 July Coverage: Watch live on BBC TV, Red Button and iPlayer, BBC Sport website and app; listen on Radio 5 live; follow text updates online

“It’s coming home.”

As World Cup fever builds among England fans, that phrase has become something of a soundtrack to the tournament in Russia.

Having lifted the trophy in 1966, the Three Lions are the only previous winners in the bottom half of the draw, which is regarded as the easier route to the final in Moscow on 15 July.

Sweden, runners-up in 1958, are the only other team in that section to have reached the final, with Colombia, Switzerland, Croatia and hosts Russia looking to get there for the first time.

Russian fans were dancing on the streets of Moscow after their shock victory over Spain, but were they singing pridot domoy (it’s coming home) too?

BBC Monitoring has taken a look at the hype, or lack of, in the countries who could stand in England’s way.

Are England good enough to take World Cup chance?[1]

Switzerland (Fifa world ranking – 6)

“We’re not allowed to come home before 16 July,” Switzerland striker Breel Embolo told Le Nouvelliste, [2] referring to the day after the World Cup final.

Embolo has just returned to Russia after a short trip home to be at the birth of his daughter, and has seen how excited people are about Switzerland’s progress.

“People I bumped into asked me to keep it up,” he said. “I will tell my team-mates that we are not alone – thousands of people in Switzerland are supporting us.”

The Swiss finished second in Group E behind Brazil and face fellow European side Sweden in the last 16 on Tuesday (15:00 BST).

Victory would take them into the quarter-finals for the first time since 1954, and news website 24 Heures said the country “will meet its fate”.

“Switzerland dreams,” it said. “After the talk must come the actions.

“Manager Vladimir Petkovic and his team could make history by beating a solid Sweden. This time, they can’t miss their chance.”

Colombia (16)

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Colombia reached the knockout stage by finishing top of Group H, and have set their sights on spoiling England’s party.

The South American side have had mixed results against European teams at the World Cup, winning three, drawing two and losing five.

But with James Rodriguez, Radamel Falcao and Juan Fernando Quintero in their ranks, they are a dangerous outfit, and reached the quarter-finals of the last World Cup in Brazil.

“Under the technical direction of Jose Pekerman, the Tricolor has gradually shaken off the dominating teams,” says daily newspaper El Pais. “On Tuesday, it is time for England. Will the good streak under ‘Don Jose’ as a coach last?”

Elsewhere, fiebredefutbol.co[3] reflects on several of the big nations suffering shock exits, leaving the draw open.

“Colombia in the ‘less difficult’ part of the tournament?” it asks. “It would be silly to describe it as easy.

“The surprise elimination of champions Germany and other surprises like Croatia winning Group D over Argentina caused a change to the board, leaving one side of the table imbalanced compared to the other.”

Croatia (20)

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Croatia finished third at the 1998 World Cup in France and are widely regarded as the most dangerous team in the bottom half.

They won all three of their group games, including a 3-0 dismantling of two-time champions Argentina.

Then came a dramatic penalty shootout victory over Denmark – captain Luka Modric showing his character by taking a penalty in the shootout after missing one in extra time.

And there is plenty of optimism around the Croatian camp.

“In order to get to the end, one needs luck,” said a commentary on index.ru. “One needs to have balls to try again after missing the first time.

“Croatia has finally got rid of the last psychological barrier – an aura of doom which has followed the squad ever since Vienna [when Croatia lost to Turkey in a penalty shootout in the quarter-finals of Euro 2008]. It is finally on the scrapheap of history.

“The last reason is now gone for manager Zlatko Dalic and his squad not to embrace the favourable draw and say they are going to the end.”

Should they beat Russia in the quarter-finals, Croatia will head to the Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow, which is hosting one semi-final and the final.

“We can already see Moscow through the binoculars,” said a piece in Vecernji List online. “But we need to go to Sochi first where the host country Russia awaits.

“Croatia is still there and there is no stopping now.”

Sweden (23)

It is fair to say they are not getting overly excited in Sweden. That is despite topping Group F – the one Germany were expected to win but finished bottom of.

Swedish Public Service TV has dampened any enthusiasm by quoting statisticians Gracenote who say Sweden have only a 3% chance of lifting the trophy.

Over the weekend, a columnist in tabloid newspaper Expressen appeared to be one of a few who dared hope Sweden will win, but the overriding sense is one of caution.

In the forest-covered province of Smaland, a local newspaper[4] asked people on the street what they thought.

They found no-one is uncorking the champagne – or even starting to cool it in the fridge.

“I think we’ll beat Switzerland, and then we’ll see”, said a half-hearted local.

Russia (70)

Media playback is not supported on this device

Russia is gripped by World Cup fever.

The hosts are the lowest-ranked team in the tournament and were predicted to go out at the group stage, but have surprised even themselves how well they have done.

It was not pretty in the last-16 match against Spain – emerging victorious on a shootout – but belief has been heightened around the nation as they prepare to face Croatia on Saturday.

“Our team can win the World Cup,” said Olympic swimmer Evgeny Korotyshkin,[5] who won silver in the 100m butterfly at London 2012. “All of Russia now believes that they are able to do. Even the Olympics didn’t bring this much excitement to the country.”

Football commentator Denis Kazansky told Business Gazeta:[6] “For me, this victory confirms that this is the most interesting World Cup with unpredictable results and where even teams without any star players can win.

“When Greece won the Euros in 2004, it seemed that another miracle could not reoccur. But I reckon that we can make this happen again in this World Cup.”

Perhaps Russian former footballer Vladimir Klontsak put it best.

“The appetite comes with eating,” he said. “At the beginning of the tournament everyone thought that making it past the group stage would be enough.

“Will we win the World Cup? Anything is possible!”

References

^ Are England good enough to take World Cup chance? (www.bbc.co.uk)

^ told Le Nouvelliste, (www.lenouvelliste.ch)

^ fiebredefutbol.co (fiebredefutbol.co)

^ a local newspaper (www.ostrasmaland.se)

^ swimmer Evgeny Korotyshkin, (www.sports.ru)

^ told Business Gazeta: (www.business-gazeta.ru)

BBC Sport – Football

'The appetite comes with eating' – are England's rivals getting excited? was originally published on 365 Football