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cursedcandyroses · 7 years ago

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My 5th Birthday Present To Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’“The Heist”

A gift like this isn’t something you wrap up all nice and neatly in the way some poor bastard working in a JCPenney’s around Christmas time would prefer to do it. This is one of those big gifts your parents drunkenly set up overnight in the backyard, slapped a bow on it, and the next morning said “Hey, go get your sister we have something cool for her”. My gift to “The Heist” is something that isn’t given often. It’s the gift of perspective, the gift of a defense, the gift of an explanation that may sway the still-salty Hip-Hop traditionalist inside of all of us. A gift that will be presented with dignity, grace, and by giving all the projects bed-time-story-book-level equivalents . “The Heist” rightfully won the Grammy for the best Hip-Hop album at the 2014 Grammy’s. Yeah, the Grammy they won over Jay-Z, Kanye, Kendrick and Drake. An album that came out in 2012 and became every soccer mom’s entrance into a world they stand out in (like Macklemore in most Hip-Hop events not attended by execs) Besides how strange is was that the award was given out in 2014, but thanks to the Olympics and the odd Grammy rules made it that way so we’re gonna sit down and like it. This was the year the little Seattle duo should have been honored to even be mentioned in the same breath as artists so many leagues above them. But there was a method behind the impending madness.

THE QUALITY TALK

Now as far as quality of the overall album, the only project nominated that year that was worse than “The Heist” was Jay-Z’s beautifully produced coconut of an album we call “Magna Carta Holy Grail”. Now since we’re on quality Kendrick’s “good kid, m.A.A.d. city” is in a different universe compared to “The Heist”. As far as other nominees went “Yeezus” was seen as one of the most polarizing albums since Kanye’s last experiment, 2008′s “808′s & Heartbreak”, yet was still critically acclaimed, and Drake’s “Nothing Was The Same” was seen as containing some of Drake’s best work to date. The win here goes to Kendrick, but Macklemore and company are no slouch.

Round 1 Elimination: “Magna Carta Holy Grail”

THE POLITICAL TALK

Now we all know Kanye’s history with the Grammy’s, and that is something he may never be truly forgiven for in White America and the Committee’s eyes. If “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” can’t win Album Of The Year while being one of the most raved about albums of ALL TIME, do you really think they’re going to give an award to something like “Yeezus” an album comparable to a silverback gorilla when woken from a very wonderful nap featuring a grand dream only to see that his shoes are being eaten by the weaklings of the jungle. As powerful as an enraged sneakerhead ape may be, it is again no match for the crushing strength of the Grammy Committee and its voters, which in this scenario we’re gonna picture as the Justice League if the Justice League was made up of guys who looked like Mitch McConnell and former winners.

Round 2 Elimination: “Yeezus”

THE REALLY BIG NUMBERS TALK

Now the Grammy’s have claimed for years in statements and in the description of what makes an “Album Of The Year” ( “ ..honor artistic achievement, technical proficiency and overall excellence in the recording industry, without regard to album sales or chart position.”) that sales have no influence on the future winner. Yet looking back at past winners of “Best Rap Album Of The Year” up until that year over 65% of the winners either had higher first week & total sales for the time leading to the award being given or more top 10 singles in comparison to it’s competitors. Oddly enough “The Heist” had the lowest first week sales of all the nominees with only 78k compared to 658k (Drake), 528k (Jay-Z), 370k (Kanye) and 242k (Kendrick). As far as singles went is where something strange happens. Kendrick had no Billboard Top 10 Hits, yet 3 singles moved into the Billboard Hip-Hop Top 10.

*SIDEBAR: DIFFERENTIATING THE BILLBOARD CHARTS*

For those unknowing of the difference between the different types of Billboard Charts here’s a quick breakdown.

Every genre of music has their own individual chart, making it easier for artists to compare themselves to their contemporaries. R&B songs will be put against R&B, jazz against jazz etc. Now there is the Billboard Hot 100 Chart. This chart is a comprehensive ranking of songs regardless of genre, to see who has the most popular songs whether it is a hip-hop record or a rock record. A key thing to realize is that just because you have the most popular hip-hop song, that doesn’t mean you have the most popular song over the entire span of music. For example Migos could hold the #1 spot on the Hip-Hop/R&B charts because it is the highest selling and highest played hip-hop song, but the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100 could be a song by Justin Bieber. Now back to our regularly scheduled bedtime story.

Yet compared to Drake and Macklemore, Kendrick was left in the dust. This is the part in the story where our hometown hero, picture Bruce Lee mixed with the great Achilles but way cooler and travels the globe in a balancing out level uncool mini-van, becomes stagnant in the battle for the hallowed Grammy, and by forces against his powers falls to the wayside.Young Kung Fu Kenny has failed himself, yet made his hometown so proud. So now the only competition Macklemore faces is the Lightskin Megalodon in a Raptors jersey we know as Aubrey “Drake” Graham. Drake peaked with his (at the time) second highest charting single behind “Best I Ever Had” (which peaked at #2) with what has become a staple wedding song in “Hold On, We’re Going Home” a track that peaked on the Billboard Charts at #4. Not only did Drizzy hit the Top 10 with the Majid Jordan assisted track, he also hit #6 on the Billboard Charts with the anthem “Started From The Bottom”. Both monstrous and inescapable songs during this time period. Yet the international outreach wasn’t really there. North America loves Drake, yet as far as international chart rankings “Hold On” peaked in the Top 10 in 9 countries. Now this is the part were most people wished they had had a warning before hearing. So here it is; shit’s about to get soul crushing. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis hit the Top 10 in over 20 countries with TWO different singles. Yes, those white boys took Hip-Hop across the globe with “Can’t Hold Us” and “Thrift Shop” (the later of which hit number 1, the absolute peak position, in TWELVE non-North American countries.) You couldn’t even avoid the annoyingly toxicating horns of “Thrift Shop” in Lebanon, a country Drake hit number 2 in which makes me wonder if Lebanon is either a) the ultimate hypebeasts of American music or b) a country of questionable taste, yet i again digress. The Drake-alodon (yeah that’s what we’re going with) has finally met it’s match.The only duo on Earth that, against all odds, can defeat any who stand in it’s way. Mack & Ryan are the Sam & Dean Winchester of this fabulous tale (and to those who have never watched “Supernatural” and don’t get this reference, like, what the fuck guys come on). Thought just mortals in a battle against beings much more powerful than them, they find a way to take down all in their path, though they aren’t motivated in the same “save world” type way most heroes have, it’s more in the “family business” type way. Forging their musical careers in the most ironic way possible, by literally starting from the bottom with no chance of ever making it this far, the tag team has found a way to come out victorious.

Round 3 Eliminations (The Double Wammy Round): “good kid, m.A.A.d. city” & “Nothing Was The Same”

THE X-FACTOR TALK

Now yes Drake was pummeled thanks to the powers of a European and Pacific terrestrial radio fanbase, but by the grace of Wayne Gretzky Drake is given a second wind. Now we get a smidge serious and look into what led Macklemore here, in a less-then-story-book-level way. Another field Sir Mac crossed that Drake could not, is a message. “The Heist” was a vehicle carrying tales of pain from addiction, ideologies of equality, and being true to oneself over beats that didn’t fit the typical Hip-Hop mold. Though yes Kanye screamed in hopes of being accepted, and Kendrick crafted a story that comes to life to often, they didn’t meet the previous qualifications. Drake and Jay boasted their way threw their tracks with only glimpses into anything more than opulence and success, a characteristic Macklemore rarely touched, and heavily spoke down upon on tracks. A humble, conscious, loveable loser is a storyline the mainstream public can relate to more than a prodigy like Kendrick, a wealthy businessman (and a business, MAN) like Jay, an angry and disgruntled creative like Kanye, or an innovative powerhouse like Drake. That was the X-factor in what has become one of the most controversial Grammy moments in Hip-Hop history. A factor Macklemore and Ryan Lewis may or may not have intentionally used to leverage their way into the hearts and radios of America, and the world. Though the Drake-alodon seemed to have caught our heros by surprise by lashing back once again, they knew far to well to grow comfortable with success. With a final blow to the monsters impeccable beard, the monster was sent flying into the stars, not to be viewed again (at least for a few years anyway). Our heroes have finally reached the pinnacle, with their competitors left deep in the their dust. Now holding the Grammy in their hand, they feel as if they have finally done it. They have reached what they have dreamt of their whole lives, in a moment they’d never give up. At least Ryan wouldn’t want to give up, because within hours Sir Mac is sending a carrier pigeon to The Chosen One, a young Kung Fu Kenny to apologize about not helping him out.

Final Round Elimination: “Nothing Was The Same” (for real this time)

Now back to reality, where I tuck “The Heist” back into my CD holder and tuck it away for a while until i build up the want to listen to it again, which may or may not ever come back. By all official and unofficial qualifications the indie duo outshined its competitors in numerous ways. Don’t get me wrong “good kid m.A.A.d. city” is an album my GRANDCHILDREN will be given as a birthday present, probably more than once. But “The Heist” crossed international barriers and at the end of the day showed Hip-Hop to parts of the globe the Kendrick’s and Drake’s of the world have only just begun crossing into. Macklemore isn’t the best version of Hip-Hop i personally want the world to see, but he isn’t the worst. An indie artist who crafted legendary crossover songs is still an artist very much who gives props to his backpacker influences and inspirations such as The Hieroglyphics, Talib Kweli, Mobb Deep and Wu-Tang Clan. The duo of Macklemore & Ryan Lewis earned the Award of Best Hip-Hop album in 2014 by filling nearly every box, and leave a bigger check mark then their competitors. It isn’t groundbreaking work, it isn’t life changing work, but it is work that deserved the Grammy that night in January.

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