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m1sa-w1sa · 7 months ago

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Animal Party!

The harbingers finding out you had a pet

(Some of the animals are tigers lions bears sharks etc etc, characters might be a bit OOC cuz this is kinda a crackfic but if yall want more srs ones lmk)

Tartaglia

For him Lets say you had a pet bear it would go kinda like this, since you and him live in a big house you wanted a big backyard, he never knew why but he Never said no, his siblings could run around there so when he came home from work you were not anywhere to be found.. until he heard you call someone a “goodboy” from the backyard, his bow was already drawn as he would have a stern expression on his face until he saw you with a bear. “[NAME]…” “So i forgot to tell you…” “WHY DIDN’T YOU THEM ME SOONER?! HE’S SO CUTE!” overall tatamis loves the bear

Scaramouche

For Scaramouche you had a cat a fluffy white one, this time you went over to visit him with your cat just hanging out in her purse “Took you long enough-… What the fuck is that..” “Its [CATS NAME]…” I deeply feel like scaramouche would be jealous if the cat took to much of your attention but would warm up to the cat, not enough to not show at least a HINT of jealousy

Arlecchino

So You had a spider for this (if you dont like spiders then imagine something else) and again you went to visit her, Arlecchino actually does like spiders (or just insects in general based on voice lines) so wheb she sees one crawling on you she was surprised that you had one just hanging around, She doesn’t mind it and also gets close to the spider, Leney (idk if i spelt his name right) almost killed it becuase he thought it was creepy😞

Signora

You have a silly little snake!!! This can go either way you visit her, she visits you..OR she sees it slithering around and she calls you over “[NAME]! WHAT THE FUCK—“ “Signora! You found [SNAKE NAME]! Thank you!!” Signora would be surprised and confused..how can you live with that…THING?! Why is it built like that… Signora is ALRIGHT with your pet she isn’t to fond with it but would take care of it for you

Pantalone

You have a cat! Not the small one a BIG one so.. a lion for him you TOLD him you had a cat..just not what KIND of cat “Pantalone do you want to see my pet?” “Of course [NAME] it cant go that bad..” It went that bad, when he came to visit you and saw a whole ass LION he froze when did you get the beast?! “Ha..[NAME] you said you had a cat..” “I know! This is [LIONS NAME]!” “Why didnt you say that you had a lion?” “It was less fun..” hes alright its pretty tame, (might get a little jealous from all the attention the lions getting…)

Dottore

Simple way to put it, you have a shark said and done same with Pantalone you TOLD him just not that detailed in your words “Dottore you like fish right? You wana meet mine?” “Sure, I suppose it wouldn’t be that much of a hassle..” Well when he cane over he wondered why your house had a pool in the backyard, until he saw the fin sticking out of the water “See Dottore? This is [SHARK NAME]! “You said you had a fish” He doesn’t really care for it because he doesn’t go swimming often or study the oceans yet but he isn’t going to tell you to give it away

Columbina

You had a swan, a elegant animal it was plain and simple so there isn’t that much convincing that the animal WONT hurt them, You and Columbina have hang outs (aka dates..) by the pond, She only REALLY opens her eyes around you (she wears the mask so she wouldn’t fall in love with someone else again but your a exception) and saw that you had a swan with you she was like a kid in a candy shop in her eyes it was a perfect animal for someone as perfect as you! She loves your swan and has a good relationship with it

Sandrone

You had a hamster (a FAT one) it was just in your hands eating sunflower seeds (ofc it is..) as you were going to find your beloved Sandrone “[NAME] whats the dust in your hand for?” “Its my Hamster!” “What..” Sandrone is sarcastic so she does make jokes how its a fucking FATASS but she secretly thinks its cute and would do anything for that little fur-ball

Capitano

You have a fox! I feel like when he found out you didn’t know he was off today, so you were outside playing with your little fox friend while he looked at you, even if his face was covered he had a small soft smile who ever knew that his s/o could be so cute..but he doesn’t know much about taking care of animals so he loves hearing you talk about it and slowly warms up to your fox!^^

Peirro

Last but not least! You owned a monkey (or a spider monkey) but you and your monkey go EVERYWHERE together so its not hard for him to figure it out, since you two starting dating he was introduced to your monkey, he doesn’t mind that silly little fella he just wants to spend time with you and sometimes when your off doing errands or something else, your monkey just hangs out with Peirro, one time, Peirro had the monkey on his shoulders while in a fatui meeting (I feel like any of them would take your pet to a metting when there good with them, besides the shark… sadly)

(We are finished! I really hoped you enjoyed this!!^^ Tags: @jadestone2 )

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fabricated-misslieness · 11 months ago

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ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: wriothesley x gn reader

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: you're afraid of (cock)roaches so you call him to help

ʀᴇ𝐐: no ~ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 304 ~ part 2

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: swearing, murder of cockroach, crackfic

ᴍᴀʏʙ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: based off a real experience, written at ~11 pm

☾⋆☆⋆☽

Picture this: you're minding your own business, pissing away at your toilet, and then you see a cockroach, on your shower wall.

"WRIO!!!"

With the way you're screaming all hell for him, he thinks it's a big emergency, an SOS type thing. That's why he comes rushing over.

Seeing you cowering away at the bathroom door, but certainly not in immediate danger, he calms down. "What?"

"Cockroach."

He sighs, "Just hit it with a shoe."

"I am NOT hitting it with a shoe. Can you SEE the size of that thing??"

He heaves an even heavier sigh and takes off his house slipper, then heads off into the shower half barefoot.

He closes the shower door, for your sake, and smacks the cockroach dead. It takes a few smacks, which leaves you mortified, then asks for toilet paper.

The next minute, the cockroach is spinning circles down the toilet water whirlpool, wrapped in its paper coffin.

You sigh with relief, leaning your head against the door dramatically as if you'd done all the work.

Wriothesley laughs and comes over to chide you about it, all while teasing you as well; but you stop him with a hand on his chest, enforcing an arm's length of distance between you two.

"Wash your hands."

"I didn't touch it with my hands."

You scrunch up your nose at him. He sighs, again, but obeys like the good boyfriend he is.

"Thank you..." You mutter, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your head into his broad back as he washes his hands.

"Yeah, yeah." He huffs out a laugh, "You're lucky I love you."

"That, I am."

Why do you have a boyfriend, if not to kill cockroaches for you? True romance lies in the murder of the disgusting little things on behalf of one's beloved.

#wriothesley x gn reader #wriothesley x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x gn reader #🌸 // success!#🤬 // swearshirt #🎫 // wriothesley #🎟 // genshin impact

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just-some-random-blogger · 2 years ago

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may i request for somewhat of a aemond x wife!reader crackfic? i just cant get the thought of aemond's wife suddenly going "if you really love me, catch me" and she just randomly jumps off a window or cliff or smth, knowing fairly well how sturdy she is and that she'll survive with a few broken bones max. but aemond doesn't know that and so he prince-charming-style-on-a-dragon saves the stupid lump that is the love of his life and goes "i do not appreciate these tests to measure my loyalty and love for you. first the question of whether or not i would love you as a worm. and now this stunt? what's next? make me choose between you or something very absurd?" "now that's an idea."

The Test Of Love

Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary: There is a saying that people do crazy things for those they love... Aemond has come to terms with the fact you're simply crazy.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: fem!reader, wife!reader, mom!reader, exasperated!aemond, 'dear gods its genetic' -aemond, crackfic, fluff, typos, etc."

A/N: THIS IS SO SPECIAL BECAUSE THIS IS MY FIRST AEMOND REQ HIHIHHHIHIHI HI NONNIE TYSM FOR THIS I HOPE YOU LIKE IT NONNIE MERRY CHRISTMAS ps i didnt name the child cos it seemed like too much responsibility nvm i felt bad for keeping him nameless also i used a translator for the high valyrian dont come for me if its wrong i like to imagine this gif is the moment aemond realized his wife is crazy and he's like 'aw shit' HAHAHHA Tagging: @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda

"Kepa, kepa!" a small voice calls, alerting Aemond, who had been in his study, going through some papers.

Aemond turns to the little boy, eye roving over his wide violet eyes and short, stubby legs, deciding in that moment, he was not injured or harmed.

"What is it, my love?" Aemond asks in High Valyrian. He straightens from his seat, lips curving into a soft smile as his son makes it to his side.

Aemond brings him to his lap. He brushes Aurion's hair back with one hand while the other is secured around the side of his soft belly.

"Mother is-"

The sound of his father humming cuts Aurion off. Aemond's brow quirks as he looks at his child.

Aurion sighs, placing his tiny hand on his tiny face, correcting himself, "muña."

"Kessa, muña," Aemond nods in confirmation, continuing in High Valyrian, "very good, my boy. What about mother? Is she calling for me?"

"Muña ivestretan nyke..." the boy starts as he racks his head, thinking of the next words to say.

Aemond hums, translating his Aurion's words, word per word, "mother told you..."

"Naejot ivestragon ao..."

"To tell you," Aemond trails off.

"...bona ziry's jumping hen se jimy."

"..."

Aurion turns to his father, watching his kepa's eye widen at the information he relayed. Aurion blows air out of his lips, making buzzing sounds as he shifts in his father's lap.

Aemond is tense as his Aurion places his clammy hands on his father's cheeks.

"Say that again, boy," Aemond knits his brows.

"Muña--"

"In common tongue."

Aurion stands on his father's lap, stroking his kepa's long hair as he mumbled, "she said she was going to jump out the window, papa."

Aemond grabs his son's hand, making the child draw his eyes upon his father's worried one.

Aurion is indifferent as he continues, "she told me you were going to catch her before she f-"

A loud fit of laughs rip through the room when Aemond grabs Aurion and practically teleports outside, exactly where their bedroom window would be.

He didn't need to see to know you were there, as there were a bunch of worried servants outside, looking up with worried faced, making him worry ever more.

Aemond does not miss how one of them says, 'thank the gods the prince is here.'

Aemond drops his giggling son as he cranes his neck up.

I break into a wide smile and look over my shoulder when I hear my name being barked out, "hello, my love!"

Aemond's breath is extremely taxed as he walks beneath the ledge I was standing on, "GET INSIDE RIGHT NOW!"

I roll my eyes, not even turning to the open window as I opted to hammer on the stone wall before me. It was a bit difficult, seeing as my breast was pressed against the surface, as I did not have much room to walk on. Still, I pressed on so I could hang the twig figure my son made in a place it would get the attention it deserved, "I'm busy."

Aemond clenches his jaw, arms going out to the side in fear, ready to catch, if ever his extremely poor in decision making wife falls.

Aemond calls my name out again, more worried, less threatening.

I release a sigh and hang my child's creation on the nail, "Aurion, what did you tell your father? He's worried sick."

"That you were going to jump," the princeling plainly, making the servants around him exclaim in worry and horror.

I furrow my brows and snap my head Aurion, "that's not what-"

Alas, I do not get to finish, as my quick movements make my feet slip. I helplessly descend from the height. I grip the hammer tightly, not wanting it to crash on my husband's head.

With a huff and a heave, I find myself in Aemond's arms, Aemond, who is incredibly relieved and livid all at once.

"Hello, my lo-"

"You told him you were going to jump?!" Aemond quips, eye narrowing.

I raise a brow, throwing my arm around his shoulders, discarding the hammer off to the side with a loud thud, "I did not. I told him that if I fell, you would catch me."

Aemond's nostrils flair as he turns to look at his son, barking out his name impatiently, "what is the meaning of this?!"

Aurion shrugs, "I wanted to see mama jump."

Aemond eye twitches.

I scold him for this, but Aurion is all but affected by it. I turn to my husband and snort, kissing him quickly on the lips before jumping out of his arm. Aemond is frozen in his spot.

I beckon my son over. When he does, I point a finger at him, "what did I tell you about distorting the truth?"

Aurion sucks in his lips as he rolls back and forth on his heels. He avoids the question by saying, "you jumped anyway!"

"She did not jump, she fell," Aemond quips, stern expression moving from Aurion to me.

I knit my brows at him, "I chose to fall, because I knew you would catch me."

Aemond feels his false eye rattle in skull as he words darkly, "chose?"

"Oh, please," I roll my eyes, "I used to jump down from trees much higher than this as a child, Aemond."

"Mmm, right!" Aemond says tightly, "and you landed on a field of grass, not cold, hard, concrete!"

I shake my head at his words, "what does it matter? All this proves is that I was right."

"Right with madness?!" Aemond raises a hand, "right with what?!"

"That you would save me no matter what." I raise my chin when I say this.

Aemond is practically vibrating in anger, his stomach wound tightly with worry. It all evaporates when a hand goes to his face.

I smile at Aemond, rubbing the scar on his cheek.

He sighs, utterly defeated. He opts to lean into the affectionate touch.

I utter causally, "this reminds me of the time I jumped off Vhagar."

"YOU JUMPED OFF VHAGAR," Aurion exclaims with excitement and wonder

Aemond grabs my wrist as he pulls away, "I still have nightmares of it."

"Oh, please, you told me it was okay for me to do it."

"I DIDN'T ACTUALLY THINK YOU'D DO IT!"

I huff, pulling my hand away, "that was your mistake."

"I WANT TO JUMP OFF VHAGAR!" Aurion calls, jumping up and down.

"NO!" Aemond barks, pointing a finger between the two of us, "no one will ever jump off anything ever again!"

Aemond grunts where I laugh when Aurion dashes over to him. The boy crashes against his leg; the man reels back slightly. I snort when my husband looks away, knowing he was not strong enough to behold the puppy dog eyes that was surely being thrown at him.

"Pleaaaassseeee, kepa!" Aurion whines, "I'll promise I'll study High Valyrian even harder!"

Aemond scoffs, then peers down, eye narrowed, "say that in High Valyrian then."

Aurion scrunches his face in thought. He begins to turn a shade of scarlet. He slams his head onto his papa's thigh, "no fair..."

Aemond huffs, crouching down, gathering the boy into his arms, "I will not hear of this nonsense again, child."

"Kepaaaaaaa!"

"Enough," Aemond dismisses, turning to me. He reaches his hand out and I gladly take it. He sighs as he pulls me close, placing a kiss on my temple. When I lean into him, he shuts his eye and mutters, "kepa will not know what to do if anything ever happens to you and muña."

Our son makes a sound in protest, "but you will catch me if I fall, just like mama!"

I smile at the sentiment, reaching out to my child's cheek.

Aemond turns to his son, leaning his forehead onto his, "do me a favor and not follow into your mama's footsteps."

I snort, pulling away from Aemond.

"But mama's fun!" the boy pouts, "you're not."

Aemond presses his lips into a line.

I break into a fit of giggles, stopping in my tracks to bend over in amusement. Aemond is snorts and swiftly grabs me, cutting my laughter off. I am, without warning, manhandled over his shoulder. I shriek when my stomach is folds over him. I grab onto his back without much else left to do.

Hearing my sons giggles makes chuckles find their way out of my lips again.

"Spank your muña's bottom," Aemond commands. My son does not hesitate.

"Aemond!"

"You have been naughty," he quips, beginning to walk off, "and deserve every bit of punishment I will inflict on you tonight."

I am silenced by his words.

"Papa no!" Aurion exclaims, "mama's a good girl."

I bite my lips at the defense of my child.

"Mmm," Aemond hums, "we'll see about that."

#aemond fanfic #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemon targaryen x you #aemond x you #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond #house of the dragon fanfic #aemond fluff #aemond targaryen fluff #dad!aemond #aemond x wife!reader #aemond one eye #aemond needs a vacation rip

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thegradus2 · 2 years ago

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Okay so ive always thought afo was a fun character especially with the crackfics and the “afo is gen z” talk bc just the moment you bring crack near a rlly canonically scary character its like drugs to me i just have to have it

And weve seen several aus thatre like “this character is a clone of afo” or “this chara is the son of a clone of afo” (mostly midoriya or dfo related of course)

And i got thinking like. I wanna make smth like that just for me. Afo clone who was made as a second option if shigaraki didnt work out, but he became too sentient and he ran away off to ua bc its harder to catch him there and now hes under nedzus care

Whenever hes around midoriya one for all just fucking proceeds to swarm out angry vibes and noone know why the fuck thats happening (yoichi thinks thats his brother who is just fucking around)

So here he is! Unhinged fuken.. boy. Maybe ill call him hisashi. It wouldnt entirely make sense for afo to give his clone his civilian cover name but i cant think of anything better rn JSNNSS

Bonus: the time some of afos lackeys tried to get him at ua

#bnha #all for one #principal nedzu #idfk what else to tag here #bnha au #just drawing dmm #just talking dmm #cloneboy au

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ninjas-and-coffee · 22 days ago

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What I love rn about the Ninjago Live action panic is that it has almost nothing about the plot. It's about the collective and primal fear of Chris Pratt and whitewashing.

I have seen a couple plot posts, but like there was nothing to prepare us for the crackfic high-school au of the other movie. So I don't think there's any need to try and guess the plot.

Maybe we should make our own movie. Like guys, we could make the anime everyone lowkey wants from the creators. Almost everyone I know has some version of a plot fixing rewrite or retelling thats almost beat for beat with the source material. But like better with longer character arcs and more cultural accuracy.

Like besides humanity's allergy to group projects, why don't we just do it???.

Like I'll start with the basis of my retelling: S1 but with an already teenage Lloyd releasing the serpentine as a misguided attempt to gain his father's attention and being a shadow villain to the serpentine problem. Followed by a zuko style redemption arc when it is accidentally revealed that he's the green ninja in a combat situation.

The first half of the season is about the teams backstories and picking up the lore crumbs on the serpentine and why Garmadon and Wu separated while trying to figure out who has motive, and opportunity to release the serpentine. And since the Golden weapons are conduits for their power. Their true potential is learning to control their power separately from their weapons by becoming "whole" and reaching their full potential. The second half of the season reveals Lloyd's story and his shift from causing harm to gain attention to just asking for it and learning to be loved. (Yes, and sorry its Lloyd centric but he's the villain of the story untill...) Then the serpentine realize they're better together than apart and relase the Great Devourer and you essentially know the rest.

It would have a rather grim/serious tone and probably have some mixture of the demonslayer or attack on titan style. Leaning into the Japanese lore and possibly leaving hints about the nature of Oni and Dragons as more myth and legend than fact. Until a *minor god (the devourer) is released and this leaves the door open for other things to slowly become real. Personally I think the dragons could have been more sentient and revered than was shown, and I'd probably change Lloyd's name to be something Japanese with "Lloyd Garmadon" as a title he gave himself to be more like his father and it just sticks in the others minds so they keep calling him that until he's ready to shed that skin. I'd probably change the others names too or at least make them region specific. I hate hate hate childs play so I'd delete it. And Nya would take up her samurai training after being kidnapped so she doesn't feel like a burden on her brother. And uh Cole will be gay but due to the time period he feels unsafe telling others and learns to trust them. Also I'd probably kick the time period back to late Edo era Japan because the way of the ninja was still studied but becoming harder to come by. And gives a reason why there are no other Ninjutstu masters or students running around. So they're be reviving a somewhat dying art and be praised for it by commoners.

So now I ask. If YOU could retell Ninjago in a episodic anime how would you do it? What does it follow? What would you remove and why?

#ninjago #coffee speaks #coffee doodles #this probably has a millions typos buts its 4am so goodnight

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isoobie · 8 months ago

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MOOT GAME: " make up a trope for your moots and their biases. doesn’t need to be romantic. can be crackfic/funny/anything you want

THIS WAS SO FUN thank you anon !!!! i suck at crackfic so im doing the most basic tropes i can think of sadly :/

@boyfhee & jay as friends to lovers

cael and jay who have been besties since diapers !!! they both like each other secretly but don’t confess because it might ruin their relationship but jay being the man is takes her on a (friendly) date to tell her his feelings as he plays the guitar for her and sings the song he wrote by himself. im the no1 caeljay shipper 🙏🏼

@weoris & jungwon at the amusement park

xin and jungwon being silly little goofballs as the amusement park with the matching headbands, the photo booth pictures and making fun of each other because they are too scared to go on certain rides. but for the cute part they would hold hands wherever they go and jungwon would always steal a couple pecks on the cheeks w/o xin knowing !!!!

@soov & jungwon as part of student council

rei and jungwon as student council buddies who help each other all the time, greet e/o in the hallways and text all the time after school. your friends would ship the two of you together and set you both up so that one of u confesses either way because they know that secretly you guys like e/o. its giving school it couple and i love it !!!!

@urszn & niki as grumpy x sunshine

es as the upbeat, bright girl whose friends with everyone whereas niki is that mysterious, cool guy who only talks to his 6 friends. but they slowly become close and niki starts to have a soft spot for her and when they're dating he becomes a little version of her. eski all the way 🧘🏻‍♀️

@jjunae & jake as brothers best friend

honestly idek ur bias but its okay 😆 ( u just give me jake vibes ) kae being annoyed whenever her brother invites his loud friends over but little does she know that one of them was her soon to be crush. jake would accidentally come into her room thinking its the bathroom, resulting in an awkward first encounter. but both of you would think that the other was reallly cute. shy introverts who are too scared to speak ㅠㅠ

@hoonvrs & sunghoon and the wrong number

sunghoon being the silly little goofball he is would be drunk and accidentally call saint because he pressed the wrong number but they’d both have a light heart conversation while one is sober and the other isn’t. and after that day, those little texts would grow into voice messages and into video calls and then a meet up where they both fall for each other even more!

@okwonyo & jake as strangers to lovers

jiji and jake suddenly bump into each other one day and thats when the attraction begins … they realise they both go to the same university and jiji is very shy at first but its okay because jake is initiating all the conversations first because she’s giving him oblivious hints that she likes him & the rest is history ㄱㄱ

@tyunni & niki on a skateboard date

my favourite couple !!!! i refuse to believe that niki and may AREN’T that skater couple. but seriously niki would be such a goat at it while may would trip every 2 seconds cause she has a bad sense of balance but niki being the amazing boyfriend he is, he’d help her and teach her 😁 ( even put his hand on your waist )

#⠀ 𝑓un⸺ games ⟡

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onboardsorasora · 1 year ago

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I've been writing this since I posted Part 10. @hitgirl0707 thanks for outlining this with me. It's almost 2k words, it's like I couldn't stop myself. *singing like Haley Williams* how did we get here?? Our liddol crackfic got a mind of its own guys!

Part 1 | Part 10

Part 11

To say Max didn’t sleep a wink was an understatement. He was worried. Those idiots better have taken care of Daniel. He was going to kill them maybe.

Finally, early in the morning he got a message to the groupchat from Lando that they were back at his place and Daniel was sleeping. Lando even sent a photo of Daniel curled up in his cat nest still in his party clothes sans shoes. Sassy was sniffing his hair and Jimmy was curled in his chest.

Max knew a drunken pass out when he saw one and just knew Daniel was going to have a killer hangover later. He was so annoyed, so mad. But he was relieved because Daniel was home at Max’s and he looked no worse for wear.

He was able to sleep a little and woke up early before his next meeting with Christian and Adrian. He spam texted Lando until he responded– the message was unintelligible, but all that mattered was that he answered.

He tried calling Daniel but it didn’t seem like he was going to answer. He was about to hang up when the facetime connected and he was greeted with Sassy’s face sniffing the screen. She chirped at him, a sound he was getting used to.

“Hey Sassy Girl, did you answer the call? Smart girl!” He praised, getting a mrow in return. Sassy eventually shifted from the phone and he saw Daniel was laying curled on his side with his arms over his eyes. Sassy sniffed and licked his forehead a little and he groaned pitifully in response.

“Daniel, how are you feeling?” Max asked softly but the worry was there. Daniel shifted his hand and Max could see a peak of nose and soft brown eyes.

“Maxy?” Daniel whined and Max’s heart clenched.

“Daniel, I’m here.”

“...hurts.” Daniel mumbled and tried to shuffle to get comfortable again but groaned instead. Jimmy bumped his head against Daniel’s arm.

“Daniel, you need to drink some water and some electrolyte juice, maybe. You’ll feel better, I think.”

“No…” Daniel murmured and sniffled and Max’s grip on his phone tightened. He was going to kill his friends.

“Daniel, it's the only way you’ll feel better. I promise.”

Max didn't have time to continue to beg Daniel to get up and ingest anything. He needed to head out if he didn't want to be late. He whispered apologies and told Sassy and Jimmy to continue to look after Daniel, he ended the call after hearing what sounded suspiciously like a whined ‘miss you Maxy’. He wasn’t allowing himself to acknowledge it, Daniel wasn’t coherent right now.

Max was clearly unsettled, Christian noticed and pulled him aside after the first meeting. He’d kept checking his phone, he received no messages from Daniel and the messages in the group chat weren't confidence inspiring.

"What's going on Max?" Christian was looking at him concerned. "Is everyone alright?"

"I need to leave." Max was blunt, Christian got more worried.

"Why what's wrong?"

With a sigh, Max explained everything. How Daniel was magical adept and was staying with him. And how he might be sick and no one was available to take care of him.

"You can't just leave because your friend is hungover Max." Christian rolled his eyes.

"Christian you don't understand. He couldn't even answer my calls. Sassy answered the phone. I know how it sounds but you have to believe me."

Christian didn't look moved at all and Max felt his heart sink into the pits of his stomach. His phone rang, Lando was calling him– finally.

"Lando! Please give me good news?"

"So like, Sassy keeps chirping. What does that mean?" Lando sounded pathetic on the other line. No doubt he wasn't going to drink again for another year.

"What do you mean? What else is she doing?" Max watched as Christian raised an eyebrow.

"Well she kinda led me to the cat nest. Daniel's still asleep I think. But Sassy keeps chirping at me and sniffing Daniel's hand."

"I dunno mate. Check his tattoos, maybe?"

Max watched as Lando's head moved off camera, he could hear Sassy's chirps; they didn't sound promising. Max tried to hold onto his fear, especially which Christian watching his every response.

"Uhm." Lando's voice squeaked with panic. "The rose looks pretty pale. Is that supposed to happen? It's pretty droopy too."

Lando's panicked eyes engulfed the screen.

"Show me!" Max demanded and bit his lip when the camera flipped again and Lando wrenched back Daniel's sleeve to show his tattoo that was indeed pale and sick looking. Christian looked over his shoulder and together they watched as the rose lost a petal.

"Max what do I do???"

"Well I'll be damned." Christian murmured in shock.

"Christian, I need to go." Max tried again, hoping some form of proof of urgency would help.

Christian sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Fix this then come back."

Turns out, travelling is still a nightmare even if you have your own plane. Things like clearance and pulling staff from days off became a hindrance. But what was the point of being rich if you couldn’t throw money at your problems? And that’s how Max was on his way home.

Max was livid, and he let his ire be known in the group chat. Lando was groveling with memes, Charles said sorry (it was more like ‘sprrh’ but the spirit was there). And Alex was trying to recreate a timeline of events.

None of that, however, made his dread any less when he received a text message from Michelle. It was just a link and ‘???????’. Which could never be good.

And it wasn’t. Because on his screen was a video of Daniel’s rose blooming and glowing with strobe lights and EDM blaring in the background. The caption was pretty simple, expressing shock at the moving tattoos and you could hear Daniel giggling in the background. They didn’t show his face thankfully.

Max groaned, because fuck.

He didn’t need to look at the views or likes to know that this video had gone viral; how else would Michelle have seen it on the other side of the world? The phone rang in his hand and he answered it while dragging his other hand down his face.

“Max, what the fuck?!” Michelle was, reasonably, upset. It was painful to explain that he hadn’t been there and that Daniel was suffering. He could see the distress and distrust churning in her eyes. Eventually she let him go after he promised updates, it took nothing less than actual vows for her to believe him.

When he finally made it home, he truly didn’t know what to expect. The cats welcoming him back with loud meows and chirps were not it. He followed them to the cat nest where Daniel still layed, there was a bottle of water and gatorade sweating beside him but both were unopened.

“Oh Daniel.” Max cooed, kneeling on the outside of the blankets and pillows. Daniel still hid his face from presumably the brightness of the living room. Max looked around, unable to locate Lando, which was probably for the best right now.

“Maxy…?” Daniel murmured, pained and unsure.

“I’m here. Can you drink some water for me?”

“Maxy, hurts so bad.” Daniel’s voice wobbled. Max’s heart clenched.

“I know Daniel, but you need to drink. You’ll feel better.” Daniel groaned pitfully and Max sighed. He crawled into the cat nest and gently maneuvered Daniel to rest against him. Daniel buried his face into Max’s chest, nuzzling his sternum. “If you drink some for me, you can go back to sleep and I’ll order pizza. Does that sound good?”

Daniel hummed and Max proceeded to help him drink half the bottle of water and half the gatorade.

“What about your work?” Daniel rasped and Max waved him off, they didn’t need to talk about that. Lando came out of the powder room then, looking like death warmed over. No doubt he had been praying to the porcelain gods.

“Max, you’re here! Thank god!” Lando sagged with relief and threw himself onto the couch. “Wait, how are you here?”

“Doesn’t matter–” Max cut himself off from saying that they had a problem. Even though they did. He shook his head and focused on the task at hand, which was taking Daniel to his bed in the guest room. They didn’t quite make it and hand to beeline for the toilet where Daniel pitifully released what remained churning in his stomach. It wasn’t a lot but his body didn’t know that apparently. Max petted his hair while he dryheaved and then helped him into the soft sheets after. The cats padded and curled around him worriedly, and Max took that as an ok to leave the room to talk to Lando, Sassy would get him if anything.

“Mate what the fuck?” Max hissed at Lando, who shrunk back into the couch to hide.

“Mate, I dunno. I’m sorry. We didn’t even leave him for too long.”

“Long enough!” Max pulled up the video and shoved it into Lando’s face. Lando paled further and looked like he was about to be sick again.

“Well, fuck.”

“All you had to do was keep him company, Mate. That isn’t so fucking hard. For fuck’s sake man!” Max ranted, dragging his hand through his hair in agitation.

“He thought you were like his ex! Who was super controlling and wouldn’t let him go anywhere without him!” Lando cut in, Max froze.

“What?”

“Yeah, when I told him we weren’t going he got all sad and stuff, Mate. You can ask Alex and Lily, started talking about how he thought you were good. I defended your honour by the way! Thankyouverymuch-ow” Lando cradled his head in his hand.

“His ex was controlling?” Max whispered, the clench in his chest was back.

“Yeah, apparently he didn’t want Daniel singing. And Daniel had to stay home when he was gone. Couldn’t go anywhere. He was so upset Max, we couldn’t not go.”

“I’m not mad you went out, I don’t care about that. I’m mad he was left alone and got drunk. Who knows what else could have happened. What if someone slipped him something? What if more than this video is on the internet?!” Max was pissed, he wanted to teleport to Perth and meet this ex, he just only wanted to talk. Truly.

But he couldn’t do that so he had to settle for yelling at Lando.

“I’m sorry…” it was faint and both men turned around to see Daniel leaning against the wall in the hallway. He looked pitiful and sad, maybe a bit withdrawn.

“Daniel– you should–”

“I’m sorry– I should have known better. I shouldn’t have– Sassy says you don’t normally come back so quickly. I messed up your plans again didn’t I?” Daniel sagged against the wall. Max rushed over to help him with wide eyes. Lando stayed on the couch– once again out of his depth.

“Daniel–”

“I’m so sorry Max! I didn’t mean to, I promise! Please don’t be mad.”

Max grabbed Daniel’s shoulders, dipping his head to look into Daniel’s sad downturned eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I came back because I wanted to take care of you. I’m not mad at you, I promise.” Max held his pinky between them.

Daniel searched his eyes for a moment, staring deep into Max’s soul with his haunted brown cow eyes. Before he hesitantly raised his own pinky and hooked them together.

Part 12

#how did we develop a plot and subplots out of this????#how did we get here???#maxiel #max/daniel #enchanted au #disney princess dan

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alpydk · 3 months ago

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🌿 🌸

Good morning anon. Thanks for the ask, talking about fics I love! I did a huge post the other day so quickly going to add them in here as well. - Recommend only one hahahahahaahahahahahaahaha.

🌿Rec someone else’s BG3 fic and tell us what you like about it!

The 5 from the other day (Find the post here to see why)

Alchemy 410 Broken Horizons Weave me the Sunshine Professor Dekarios Twin Compasses

And now some more that I didn't link Weave and Woods - @weaveandwood - Honestly I just love the pairing. Auroria is such a good character who I genuinly see ending up with Gale. And it's not been all that eay relationship where they fall in love and are happy. They have their challanges. I most of all love seeing her learn new spells because that doesn't really happen in fics and its great to see. (Especially how proud she is with it.) "The second, third, fifth, ninth tries were similar. On the tenth try, she thought she saw a few sparks of electricity surrounding the arrow, sending a surge of pride through her. She was close, she could feel it. " - Come on Ori, you can do it!

---

Strange Highways - I have been on about this fic since chapter one. No fic has caught be like this. It's like it calls to my chaotic nature and I will keep screaming it into the Tumblr void like some insane looney fan. Just me alone with my billboard - READ THIS FIC. It's Cazador in a rock group in the 80's. It's funny, has amazing music referances but most of all it's just so fucking good to read.

The words spoke to his soul, into the very depths of it. He felt them with every cell of his body. This was not like the weak melodies bards played back in Faerûn. This music had authority. It had power.

Master of puppets, I'm pulling your strings

Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams

Blinded by me, you can't see a thing

Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream

It was perfect. He imagined saying the words, making them his own. This was a supreme incantation, it had to be. This one would make people obey. Just Fuck Yeah!

--- Paperback Writer - (Short 600 words) - Haarlep edits Raphael's novel. It's fucking funny and I love it. Simple as. "Quivering, the hero took my hand I’m pretty sure Tav told you not to touch them, and it made you pout for a week."

And now the non Bg3 ones... because oops...

RE: Umbrella Asylum (Resident Evil) - @judasiskariot - It's got that lab, depressing, in your head build up mood. You know the one, everything is clinical but there is evil shit going on. The descriptions are fucking beautiful and I love it. "Icy blue eyes that were at least as cold as the black lenses of the glasses." - Just that about Wesker. I still think of it even now. ---- La Petite Mort - One of the most beautifully written crackfics I've ever read. Barbie/Dracula. - Just try it and love it. He should have gotten rid of her by now. Made a meal out of her, at least, even if only the once: her blood will surely be sweet, so sweet, heady and deep and dark when he drinks from her.

But he keeps finding excuses.

Not yet. If I'm honest my reading of fics has been limited recently. I have a few too many that just seem to have been abandoned and I'm becoming hesitant to start up reading newer chapter fics. I'm also a little put off when I see things at chapter 54 and then find its over 200k worth of words to catch up on. Yeah, I need to have people recommend fics to me so if people want to send me asks with their recs go ahead.

🌸Rec one of your fics and tell us what you like about it! Only one.... But I'm so good. (They say, going through the 40 fics knowing they really could be better.) I'm my own worst critic. Fuck it, you get more than one. This is my answer!

Cabinet of Oddities - It's Nana's story. What started all this chaos. It is love and adventure and mental illness and healing all rolled into one big Galemancer sized ball. 56k words of just me. I may also be writing the sequel/prequel right now... “A kiss does not necessarily have to mean love though, just as a hug certainly does not. Is that what you were expecting to feel?” He looked into her eyes. He had always been that of the hopeless romantic. As much as he wanted to believe his own words, he knew he was not the type to kiss without love, or at least potential love.

She gazed back at him. “I’m not sure. I wasn’t expecting to feel fear though.”

“And, do you fear me?” He hoped that she would say no. That maybe this feeling could blossom, that all their unspoken feelings could be revealed and yet he was also nervous of her answer. That if she said no, it would be something else holding him to this mortal coil, someone else who would eventually realise he was not good enough. Just look how fucking good that is. (I'm not allowed to be down on myself so the other end of the spectrum it is)

--- Tattered Souls - RuganxGale (Also writing the sequel right now) - This is my ZhentWeave baby. This is all for me. I love it and that's all that matters. Honestly writing something like has been extremely liberating and I recommend everyone write something like this at some point. “Just get out of here...” Rugan’s voice was weak, his gravely tones quiet, and he tried to lift himself from the ground.

Gale spoke calmly, keeping his eyes on the mercenaries in front of him. “Not without you.” He could unleash the lightning bolt and possibly fire a magic missile before being hit if he moved quick enough.

“This isn’t your fight.” A hacking cough brought up small amounts of blood, which were spat onto the ground. “Just leave.”

An arrow flew from a trigger-happy archer whistling past Gale’s ear and he almost unleashed the lightning bolt in reaction, stopping only as he saw Rugan stand before him in defence of the female Zhentarim.

“Gale, not your fight...” Love me some cliches and tropes. Love them.

--- Okay, last rec. Not that anyone will read all of this, anyway. You're all looking for your own fics after all (I do that then get quietly depressed when my name isn't on the list... But we all do that, right? Right???)

Where is that child now, I wonder? - Gale past short (500 words). I keep thinking of this one a lot recently. Of young Gale and his relationship with his father. This is probably more a head cannon than an actual fic but it's stuck with me. - I recommend a read if you're looking for ideas. "No! I won't let my son read poetry and become like a delicate flowered prick of an elf. Weak, pathetic! No, he will do as I say and do it when I tell him to!"

Again, thanks for the ask. I do love talking about recommendations and I have a number of Chase whump fics on the bookmarks list, as well as a few quick one shots I've enjoyed. Would love recs from others as said - The more angst the better. :)

#ask box #fanfic rec #bg3 fanfiction

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kkooongie · 8 months ago

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MOOT GAME: " make up a trope for your moots and their biases. doesn’t need to be romantic. can be crackfic/funny. ^ㅇ(๑>◡<๑)ㅇ^ "

OMG ANON IM SO SO SORRY THIS WAS SO LATE but it was so fun at the same time hehehe but srsly im so sorry of how late im doing this. also if i get any of your biases wrong IM SORRY :'D

@wonumatics + wonwoo in "college friends to lovers". yeah the two of you probably became friends after being the only two members in the ten member group project who actually worked and lo and behold! maybe wonwoo is cute. and maybe...wonwoo thinks the same too.

@thepoopdokyeomtouched + mingyu in "met though mutual friends". honestly you were losing track of all the friends your friend was currently introducing you to until you saw mingyu. and honestly mingyu was feeling bored until he started talking to you. now its just mingyu trying to babysit a wild you but hey you both love each other this way.

@aaniag + soonyoung in "meet cute". when people said kids love the zoo, the last thing you expected was your nephew to start crying on seeing the tigers roar. until a stranger took it up as his personal mission to make your nephews realise they weren't as bad as they sounded. the same stranger whom you were sharing an ice cream with (without any nephews).

@nishloves + soonyoung in "met through mutual friends". when your friend wonwoo texted you saying he unfortunately had to bring a friend over for your pvp session, you didn't expect the said friend to be...such a cutie. and right now you were on purpose destroying him just to see soonyoung's cute sigh of frustration. and soon it became a regular thing until even wonwoo wasn't invited to your sessions. or...date as soonyoung called it.

@haecien + minghao in "museum dates". you hadn't meant to spill your dirty water on his clothes. really. the pain box happened to slip out of your hand as a new surge of crowd walked into the room, knocking over the jar of water onto the stranger beside you. and you opened your mouth to quickly apologise but you froze, because right in front of you was the most beautiful stranger you had ever seen. and the rest was history.

@slytherinshua + joshua in "picnic au". your expectation for the perfect sunset picnic was completely ruined when a dog ran amok and knocked over all your food. until your perfect neighbour joshua appeared suddenly to your rescue. and now as you sipped tea with him under the sun, you realised that maybe it wasn't too bad.

@mangocustard16 + seokmin in "childhood best friends to lovers". seokmin was your everything. quite literally because if not said best friend then who else? but he added lover to the everything after kissing the corner of your lips one drunken evening, murmuring how much he loved you and making you realise that so did you.

@weird-bookworm + vernon in "library au". was vernon a library person? no he always prefered the movies. but would he be willing to stay in the library for hours if it meant staring at you and maybe, maybe talking to you? sign this man up immediately.

@nonononranghaee + seungcheol in "fake dating au". reason for fake dating (lie vers): 'i need someone with me for my sister's wedding'. reason for fake dating (truth vers): 'i'm in love with you and i've heard dating opens up new sides of people so maybe i'll find something icky about you'.

#GUYS I LITERALLY MADE THIS A HOW YOU MEET SVT IM SORRY IF THIS WASNT WAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE #ANYWAYS I HAD GREAT FUN!#if you all think my writing is nice check out my writing blog @gyu-effect :D #just kidding lmfao #asks.

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starlit-seadragon · 3 months ago

Text

Day 6 - Halcyon

So. I could have finished this. But I think it's funnier if I just submit it in exceedingly rough draft form like this. In the spirit of the challenge.

Spoilers for Shadowbringers, Endwalker, and post-Endwalker maybe. I forget.

Please enjoy this crackfic. :)

In the halcyon days of the world before, Emet-Selch chances to cross paths with Azem and their most recent creation.

It is... disconcerting.

My FFXIV Write Masterpost here.

The moment Emet-Selch saw Azem, he knew there would be trouble.

Not the sort of trouble that had any serious repercussions -- not if he became involved with it, at least -- but the sort of trouble that would make his forehead ache, with teeth clenched so hard he thought he'd grind them down to paste.

They seemed preoccupied, deep in an explanation to another individual--

Emet-Selch stopped dead in his tracks. Elidibus was in rapt attention, asking questions and occasionally looking down at something out of sight.

Emet-Selch made to turn around, to change course before they spotted him.

"Emet, is that you?" Azem gasped.

Damn. He'd been caught. Better to get it over with. It was far less exhausting to follow Azem's flow than to kick against it.

He approached the pair with the sternest look he could muster.

"Azem. I didn't see you there."

Azem smiled and winked. "Liar."

"'Tis good you are here, Emet-Selch. Azem was just [showing me] a concept of their creation."

"I call it a 'cubus,'" declared Azem proudly.

[He looks at the thing. It's horrible. It has an awful smell. The texture is. Upsetting. Why would Azem make that. What could possibly be the purpose.]

"...it bears no resemblance to a cube," was all he could manage.

"Precisely what I said!" [verbed] an enthusiastic Elidibus."

"To which I responded, '[lol I know right]'"

Emet-Selch [considered/tasted] several words before he finally [settled on], "So what is its purpose?"

"You can eat it." Azem beamed.

Emet-Selch [staggered, blinked. He feels the headache coming on.]

"Would you care to repeat that? I thought I heard you say it was edible."

Azem nodded. "You heard correctly."

A familiar ache in his molars began.

"[What the fuck]"

"It's exceedingly aetherially conductive," Azem explained, looking a touch more serious. "The shape, or rather, shapelessness, allows it to [do something important. Maybe it's good in certain areas that have a lack of resources. Mountains, islands, sea floors.] It also allows the safe consumption of historically-inedible matter and material, like lava, or a rainbow."

"What?"

"Emet-Selch," they began with mock horror, "Do you mean to tell me you've never wondered what a rainbow tastes like?"

"As it happens, I have not," he ground out.

"Well," Azem sniffed. "Far be it from me to spoil your ignorance then."

[Azem's a genius. But also batshit insane.]

"Why," is all he can manage. "Why this?"

He gestured to the cubus, oozing contentedly on the ground.

"It's kind of cute, don't you think?" Azem smiled, patted it on the head, and then licked the slime off their fingers. "Ooh, that's a strange one."

"Might I try a sample?" Elidibus asked.

[Emet's jaw is on the floor, so to speak. He was wrong after all. There is no interaction with Azem that does not exhaust. ]

"Oh, damn." Azem snapped their fingers. "I forgot to account for their tendency to accumulate detritus as they move. Back to the drawing board, I guess."

They held a hand out, [slurped up] the cubus's aether, and sighed.

Emet-Selch walked away without another word.

#everyone loves the cubus #cubus #ffxiv write #ffxivwrite2024 #non-binary Azem #oc tag: starlit seadragon #oc tag: anarchy rainbow #for Yume's Azem :D #emet-selch bullying hours #also baby Themis is here :)

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forgwater · 2 years ago

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You know what!? Trying to stop Rook from terrorizing the NRC students, but this time it ACTUALLY IS Valentine’s Day!

crackfic

gender neutral reader

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 Valentine’s Day (but it’s August)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

romantic

The most anticipated day of the year is finally here! What day that is, you might ask, why! it's Valentine's day!

And your dear boyfriend, Rook, asked you to meet him in the schools forest.

No doubt, he planned something especially romantic for you.

Ah, the anticipation is just killing you, and so might've that arrow, if your hunter wasn't an exceptional marksman.

As always, the arrow that almost hit plenty of students while it made its way towards you, is carrying a message.

How romantic!

Doesn't it just make your heart beat faster?

The envelope, lightly scented, contains a very beautiful poem, filled with Rooks love and adoration for you. The dreamy sigh leaving your lips does not escape the hunters keen senses as he lets out a light chuckle.

"Rook-" you startle.

"Mon amour~" a kiss is placed upon your warming cheek "Your reactions are always a delight to witness!... and it is my pleasure to be the one that causes them!~" and with a wink, the hunter starts leading you away.

"Where are we going?" you manage to ask in your flustered state.

"Hmmm~ Where do you think we're going?~" he shots back, eyes gleaming with great interest.

Your pause prompts him to continue.

"The forest, my dear. I've finished preparations earlier that anticipated and I couldn't bear to be away from your presence anymore!" even with a dramatic hand placed upon his forehead, Rook does not take his eyes off of you.

The walk is short, but lively as you chat with your beloved. When you finally reach the clearing in between the ancient apple trees, you are greeted with a blanked laid upon the ground and on it a whicker basked, no doubt filled with only the most delicious foods.

A beautiful bouquet of your favorite flowers is set to the side, waiting eagerly to be presented to you. Truly, what a nice little date your boyfriend arranged for the two of you. Speaking of...

With a hand open for you to take, the hunter calls:

"Shall we, mon ange?"

And how could you refuse such an invitation from the most alluring man you've ever laid eyes upon.

platonic

It's finally time. The final day has arrived and Yuu is feeling sick to their stomach.

After their last encounter with the hunter, the prefect has been avoiding every possible meeting.

But they did not give up. No, that would be impossible. The prefect just needed some time to regain their strength and plan.... and pray that this is the last time.

As if it worked the last six times.

But, you know what they say!

New day, new horrors to face!

And so, Yuu gets ready to exit the safety of Ramshackle, only to be immediately cornered by the hunter.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" the prefect is at their limit, they can't do this anymore. They ready one of their knives, but Rook starts speaking.

"I will give you a break from our little, friendly... competition, for a month. If-" but he gets cut of.

"If?!" the prefect narrows their eyes, it's not everyday a deal like this presents itself.

For a moment Yuu questions whether or not this is Azul, disguised by some kind of transformation potion or... wait! don't tell them! This BETTER not be one of those personality swapping accidents-

"If..." the hunters voice brings the prefect back to their senses "if you help me prepare my date with Y/N." he finishes with a smile.

wait... what....

Suspicion coats Yuus features, but Rook isn't fazed, as he continues.

"Si, c'est vrai! I am telling no lies!" the hunter insists.

"But... why?" the prefect is truly confused now.

"I have much work to attend to, and I refuse to be late with the preparations for mon amour and my date. So, I would like your assistance, trickster."

"... And what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to go and pick some things up for me, that is all!" and suddenly there is a list in the prefects hands. "Au revoir!"

There he goes, unbothered by the world and making it everybody else's problem.

Well... might as well get on with it.

It may not be much, but it's honest work... or so the prefect thinks.

~~~

"Ah, prefect! What brings you to the Mostro Lounge?" Azul inquires, a bit too delighted for this to be a genuine question.

"...You are in on this... aren't you?"

"My, what an unfounded accusation! I am disappointed you would think so lowly of me." feigning ignorance, huh.

"Whatever. Just give me the stuff from the list."

"Normally I'd ask why you're in such a hurry, but considering today is Valentine's day, I am quite busy myself and I quite enjoy doing business swiftly. So do go in the kitchen and grab a uniform."

"...What..."

"My apologies, force of habit."

"....Riiiiight..."

It sounds like there's a little more going on here, but the prefect's not gonna question it... for now.

~~~

"Trey!" the prefect calls at the third year.

"Oh, Yuu. I suppose you're here to pick the desserts and flowers for Rook." At least Trey is easier to deal with than Azul... right?

"Thank you." as the prefect grabs the pastry box and bouquet, the green haired man askes:

"You've been taking care of your teeth, right?"

Weird question, but okay.

"Uh... yeah! Sure!" suddenly, Yuu feels nervous. What is going on?

"Let me see."

what.

"Uhhhh.... you know...." the prefect tries to put as much distance between themselves and the teeth maniac as they can "I gotta go!" and they book it. Not looking back even as Trey screams something about proper dental care in the background.

'This school is full of psychopaths!' the prefect thinks. At least they got away... this time.

~~~

"Here's your stuff." Yuu hands the hunter the listed items "Now, please leave me alone!"

"For a month." Rook smirks, the glint in his eyes dangerous, as it promises a tough battle for the future.

"I hope I never meet you again, Hunt." the prefect shakes their head. They've had enough. The have to get some better blackmail on Crowley. This has gone on for long enough.

And yet, as they turn to leave, they freeze at the hunters words:

"We'll see." he says "Now, I'll have to ask you to leave. I have a picnic to arrange and it must be beautiful enough to compliment my beloveds visage!"

And then Rook moves back towards the forest.

What a nightmare this Twisted Wonderland is.

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masterlist

#twst rook #rook hunt #rook x reader #rook hunt x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x you #twst #twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst wonderland #twst crackfic #twst crack #twst imagines #gn reader #twst yuu

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just-some-random-blogger · 2 years ago

Text

Accidental Targ

Scene I: you guys into roleplay or what? | Masterlist

Daemon Targaryen x Modern!Reader

Summary: There was a party at the old castle ruins which raised the talk of an old urban legend. As the lore goes, upon the strike of midnight, for one whole minute, the arch, which used to be the entrance to the castle gates, would be a portal back to the height of the Targaryen dynasty. Of course, that complete and utter rubbish.

Word Count: 4k+

Warnings: fem!reader, time travel au, descriptions of reader's hair, incestuous gremlin!daemon, crackfic, typos. etc.

A/N: The lore of this is actually based off an urban legend from the high school i went to, which is like 400+ years old, thus the ruins and portal back in time HAHAHAH Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx @deniixlovezelda @targaryenmoony @risefallrise @slavyanskiyahui @fan-goddess @daemons-kelitsos

The truth is, maybe I was a little too drunk to remember exactly what happened between the grinding in front of the DJ booth and game of dare or die, but I do know for a fact that I was incredibly lost. I recognized none of the landmarks that I stored in my head, and by the looks of it, I had wandered so far from the party I was now at the renaissance fair in town. Fucking Libby.

I pull out my phone from my tiny, glittery clutch bag and sling its gold chain around my shoulder. I go through my contacts and begin to ring Libby, heaving as I walked through the square.

The sound of the bustling people filled my ears. The night market was very much alive; it both gave me comfort and great anxiousness.

A bunch of people holler at me, calling me princess and my lady. I ignore them and continue in silence.

There was suddenly a wet squelching sound that snapped me out of my focus. I freeze in my spot, "fuck." I let out a groan and pull up the flare of my pants, "ohh fuckkkk."

These hot pink gogo boots were brand new! And now they were hot mess gogos, caked in fucking mud.

I tug up my shimmery and equally pink bell bottoms, doing my best to evade the rest of the mud in the area. I tread carefully, not wanting to further ruin my clothes or slip and fall on my ass.

I blow my hair out of my face. They really just had to add mud for the authenticity, huh? I comb through my silver hair after I get through the brown sludge.

Where the fuck is Libby?

I feel another wave of anxiousness creep up on me as I grow acutely aware of the people staring. I stand by the side of the street and stare at my phone. I release a breath and feel an ominous atmosphere thicken around me. I look around, catching a bunch of eyes staring back at me, and shift uncomfortably. I furrow my brows and clutch my purse and phone tightly, deciding I did not feel safe in this area. I begin to walk again.

I curse my phone when I see the no signal notification and cautiously put it back in my rhinestone bag. I adjust my leather jacket and wrap my arms around myself.

"Fucking hell, Libby," I mutter to myself as I muster courage to make it though the crowd so I can eventually get out of it.

I brush my locks back and wipe the sweat building at my nape.

I reach a less congested place and stand by a pillar next to a building. I observe the people in their old timey clothes and costumes, not a single other person dressed in modern clothing. I figure it was cause it was pretty late and they must be closing up their booths any time now.

I tug the collar of my silver halter top and turn to the side. Immediately, I spot a butch man, clad in armor and a cloak. I stare at him for a moment and think, wow, that's a really good costume. I find myself deciding he was pretty good looking too. I instantly look away when he catches me starting.

I clear my throat, wrapping my arms around myself. My jacket tightens around my arms. I clutch my bag in my chest again.

Wait, if he's dressed like that, does that mean he's, like, a guard or something? Maybe I can ask for his help to look for Libby.

I clear my throat and steal a look again, and to my horror, the man is making his way towards me.

In my panic, I shift and face the opposite direction. My flight response kicks in, but before I could bolt, he comes to my side and speaks.

"Speak your name and business, stranger."

I pull my head back and look to the man. He stares at me as brush my bangs away from my face. Why's he coming off so strong, "what?"

The man looks at me through his stupid helmet and furrows his brows, "speak your name and business," says he, rather threateningly.

Hold on. Is he for real? If this was supposed to be part of his weird-ass dialogue for his roleplay thing-- or, heaven forbid, a pickup line, dear gods, it was not about to work on me.

My initial response was to be extremely hostile, but after taking a deep breath I decide against it. I hit him with an uno reverse as raise a brow, "what's your name and business, soldier?"

His dark brow quirks at that. He says nothing for a moment.

His over-the-top golden cloak flows back, as does my platinum hair when a gush of wind blows. I make a face when I catch a whiff of something rank. I rub my nose and push my curls back behind my ear. I re-pin one of my golden clips to keep my tresses in place.

The solider shifts in his spot. "I am not a solider--" ok, not a soldier, "I am an officer of the city watch," he shakes his head, "Ser Harwin Strong," he raises his nose, "and my business is your business."

I pull my head back. My jaw slacks.

I clear my throat.

Why he kinda-

I sniffle, very much not at all expecting that response. Well, I guess maybe his pickup line kinda works... And well, I mean, he kinda cute so-

I tell him my name and then tell him I lost my friend after a round of dare or die and now I'm looking for her.

"Dare or die," he repeats rather seriously.

I shrug and shake my head, "it's just a stupid game."

He hums, "and your friend, she is as... strangely dressed as you?"

I raise a brow again, tightening my crossed arms, "says the man in armor and a gold cape."

Harwin makes a face.

I chuckle softly. Not expecting that, were ya?

I huff. Ok, my bad. I know these renaissance people really get into it, and, yeah, I mean, he was right. I was in a glittery silver halter top, hot pink bellbottoms and gogo boots with a leather jacket and a bedazzled clutch. I was an LSD trip. He had his schtick and I had mine.

"Yeah, no, eh," I look around, "she's in black skinny jeans and a fuchsia, like, off-shoulder situation. It's pretty hard to miss her, which is why I have no idea why I can't find her anywhere."

"Off shoulder?"

I turn to him as he mutters this.

I give him a look then motion, "yeah... like, it's cropped here," I move my hand by my shoulders, "and it has ruffles and-- OH! Also she has blue hair!" I raise a finger, "it's really, really hard to miss her."

Harwin looks at me like I just told him my friend was secretly Hannah Montana.

I am about to respond when suddenly we snap to the side as someone calls out, "Lord Strong." A man in a grey cloak nods at Harwin and turns to me, "you're looking for someone, yes?"

I blink at the man with a hood, trying to get a better look of his shadowy face. Immediate no.

I slowly nod though after he stares too long. I don't like the fact I can't make out his face.

Hood man tilts his head and walks off.

I stand still in my spot as he makes his way down an alley.

What the fuck was that? Tsch. Am I a dog? Did he honestly think I'd suddenly follow him just cause he tilted his head to the side?

I turn to Harwin and with a sour look. He looks back at me and tilts his head to the side. Not him too!

I huff in disbelief, "you want me to follow him?"

Harwin makes a face, "it would be wise if you do."

"Why?! What, is he-- does he work here?"

"In the marketplace," he looks around and shakes his head, "no."

I think for a second. I huff, "is he one of those people that do the lost and found things. Can he help-"

"OI!" a voice cuts me off. We turn to the side again and hood man is back. He quips, "do you want to find your friend or not?!"

Well why didn't he just say so?

I nod and shrug simultaneously, finding myself following after him this time around. The things I do for love. I mean, it's a renaissance fair! They... they're just a bunch of weird nerd guys that have never felt the touch of a woman.

I gulp. Okay, maybe not the soundest explanation as to why I think I won't get kidnapped.

For someone who wants to be followed, he sure moved like he wanted to lose me. I jog up behind him and grab his arm, "slow down! I've been on my feet for hours."

He slows then stops. He looks at the arm I was clutching.

I release a sigh, "do you have a name, manager?"

He turns from his arm to me with a scowl, "what?"

He pulls away just as I release him. I clarify, "do you work at, like, HR?"

He stares at me for a moment. I stare back, vaguely seeing his face from the shadow of his hood. He somehow looks familiar, like... like a less hot version of Matt Smith. He turns front and walks off again, "and what would HR be?"

I huff and follow after him. The whole in-character thing was really getting on my nerves. I rack my brain for what HR's equivalent would be in this day and age. I shake my head, "I don't know... public servitude? Public Relations? Okay, no, that's PR-"

Hood man eyes me, "PR..."

I slow my pace as I think. He rolls his eyes and grabs me by the wrist, dragging me as he takes us off to wherever it was we were headed.

"Good government?" I said questioningly.

He snorts, "good governance, you say?"

I look up at him and find a small smirk on his lips, "well, actually, I said-"

He mutters, "I am certainly not one of those."

"... okay... ... Mr. Edgelord."

He shoots me a look but does not respond.

He takes me to a dark backstreet and for some reason, I didn't think it strange up until we entered. The place, I kid you not, was a brothel. From the moment we stepped in, there were people making out and getting way further than second base in front of my very pure, unwilling eyes.

This was it, wasn't it? Would it be in bad taste to say at least I died in a cute outfit? No, wait, you're right. It would be in great taste. Purr.

Immediately, my hand goes to my eyes and I choke out a squeak, "oh dear fuck, is this legal?!"

Hood man turns to me and stops for a moment. He drags me again, "are pleasures illegal where you're from?"

I peak through my fingers, finding that we were headed for a flight of stairs. "For fucks sake, this is the dangerous type of pleasures, sir," I struggle as I try to keep my eyes closed and opened all at once.

"How dull," he looks over to me once as we go up the stairs, "danger is a form of respite."

I make a face, "yeah well-" I gasp when I nearly miss a step. Hood man yanks me up so that I don't fall. I sheepishly look up at him and was about to thank him, up until I see a bunch of dudes going at it on the second floor. I cringe, continuing my train of thought, "--tell that to STDs."

"STD..." he mutters under his breath.

Hood man takes us to a room that is empty, save for a woman with long dark hair. She looks at us as we enter, then turns to our joined hands. Upon catching this, I pull my hand away.

Hood man turns to me then to her, "show her the girl."

The dark haired woman side steps and immediately I gasp, "Libby!"

I run up to the low bed she was laid upon. I brush her damp bangs back and she immediately groans.

"Your friend was drunk and nearly attacked by some men," the woman explained, "they backed off when I told them she was one of mine."

"Homaygosh," I look over my shoulder and pant, "I- thank you for helping her."

Her expression softens a fraction. She mentally notes the reaction.

I look back to Libby and adjust her pink top. "She's a ditzy drunk," I sigh, brushing her damn awful blue hair, "which was why I followed after her. I didn't expect her to come this far."

"Far you say. Where are you from?" the man asks.

"We came from the party in the old castle ruins."

"Party?" she says just as he says, "ruins?"

I turn to them and stand, "yeah, the old castle up the cliff," I point to nowhere. I look between them and huff when they look at me wordlessly.

The woman turns to hood man. They speak to each other telepathically it seems.

I release a breath, "okay. I get it. You guys are into roleplay. It was a-- celebration dance... event."

They turn back to me.

"Thank you again for helping her," I turn to Libby, back to the woman, "what were your names?"

I offer a smile to hood man as I introduce myself.

He does not offer me the same courtesy.

Hmp.

The woman places her hands in front of her, "I am Mysaria," she says and I smile at her. She smiles back then turns to him. We both look at him for a hot second.

Hood man does not respond.

"Okay then..." I shift awkwardly in my spot, "well, thank you, Mysaria and... sir...."

"What house do you belong to?" he utters.

"What," I pull my head back, "house?"

He does not clarify but looks at me expectantly.

I make a face and think for a moment. What does he mean? I am hit by a sudden realization. But surely he doesn't mean this? "Uhm... ... ... Gryffindor?"

"Gryffindor?" his face contorts in thought.

I nod slowly, "that is what you mean, right?"

Mysaria crosses her arms, "where does house Gryffindor hail?"

What?

My eyes pinch in confusion. I raise a finger, "like... which part of Hogwarts do they stay?" What the- "I don't know! This is entirely too nerdy for me to understand. Also, I was never really a potterhead."

"Potter head?" hood guy asks.

I roll my eyes and sigh, "okay," I wave my hands, "since we've already broken the forth wall and you've broken characters-"

"Characters-" he mutters.

"-can I borrow a phone? Mine says no service," I lean towards Libby and begin to shake her awake, "or if any of you are heading back to the city, can we just hitch a ride?"

Libby groans as I shake her.

I hiss, "girl, get your ass up."

The man scoffs then chuckles. He walks over to me, "girl, I think you are sorely mistaken."

I straighten up and involuntarily squeak when I find him right next to me. He is so close that I finally see the color of his eyes, even though the room was quite dim.

"OCA4," I blabber.

He knits his blonde brows, "what?"

I step back, cursing myself for remembering that stupid fact from grade 6 biology, "you- you have violet eyes," I gulp, "it's a recessive trait."

The man blankly stares at me for a second.

Great. I've really done it now.

He narrows his eyes then looks me once over. "Issi ao doru-borto?" he mutters. Are you stupid?

"Hey!" I raise a brow, "I am not."

His expression slips. He is evidently shocked, "you know High Valyrian?"

Mysaria's eyes widen.

I place a hand on my hip, "I'll have you know, I took High Valyrian as an elective, but everyone knows what doru-borto is."

I turn back to shake Libby again, but instead, I am snagged by the arm. Hood man yanks me towards him and mutters, "gūrogon nyke naejot se pryjata."

I twitch as alarms go off in my head. Instead of shaking him off though, my mind buffers at the barely recognizable words. I try to make sense of it and slowly translate, "take me... ?"

He tilts his head and completes it, "take me to the ruins."

I pull my head and arm back. He does not release me. I clench my jaw at this. I huff, "you can't miss it. Just go up th-"

"I want you to take me there."

I begin to get increasingly agitated, defensive, and tired, "look, sir," I place my hand on his iron grip and push him off me, "I really appreciate your help, but we should get goi-"

"You will not go anywhere with your companion unless you take me to the ruins which you speak."

I freeze at his words. I stare at him, taking in his stoic expression. His look was as serious as explosive diarrhea. I feel my entire body flush with dread. I look to Mysaria for help, but it was instantly clear by her expression that if there were sides, she was on his.

I shudder and pull the hand I had atop his, finding no point in trying to free myself from his clutch, "so what?"

His brows furrow. A challenge?

"I take you there," I word carefully, "and then I come back, and you let us go?"

He takes in my expression. He scans my hair as it slips from my shoulder. He looks at the golden pins by the top of my head then releases me. I rub my arm as he brings his hands in front of him. He shifts on his leg.

I clench my jaw, "well?"

"So be it," he retorts.

"So be it?" I scoff, "swear it."

He tilts his head and narrows his eyes. His lips curve slightly, "what?"

"I need to hear you say you will not harm her," I add, turning to Mysaria as I say this, "please."

Mysaria's face softens though she knits her brows. Hood man laughs and it makes me glare at him. Mysaria looks to the man as he says, "I swear."

"On your life," I quip mindlessly with an air of fake confidence though my heart was pounding. I was well aware that if he intended to do us ill, no amount of words would save us. Still, it was good to hear it.

In all honesty, I am surprised when he retorts with, "on my life and my honor."

I find myself shaking my head, "okay then."

"OK..." he repeats slowly.

I do as he says, since I don't really have much of a choice.

I lead the man, or rather he leads me out of the grimy establishment (my poor eyes), and then I lead him up to the ruins.

The walk is silent, as I am no longer keen on fostering any type of relationship with him.

He stays a few paces behind me but I can very much feel his lingering presence.

As I do my best to retrace my steps, I slower each passing 'landmark', or lack thereof. We pass a church that was way smaller in my memory, and the large oak tree I was looking for was nonexistent.

Eventually, I come to terms with the fact I was lost and just try my best not to show it as I navigate the landscape through instinct.

When I was about to fess up, I glanced upon a building I knew for sure had scaffolding when I passed it earlier today. See, aint no way they finished the renovations that quickly.

I pick up the pace, following the directions I remember taking and my breath hitches. My jaw drops and my eyes widen at the sight of the full blown fortress before me. What the fuck.

I let out a breath to calm myself but I can no longer mask my panic.

"Who are you really?" hood man mutters.

I snap to my side and clutch my chest as the man steps closer. He pulls me toward him by ripping at my dangling purse. I helplessly topple forward.

"Are you a dreamer?" he reaches out to my face and brushes my silver hair back, "emagon ao rēbās rȳ jēda?" Have you walked through time?

I pull away from him and swat his hand off, "don't touch me!"

He recoils as I glare at him and catch my breath. He pushes his hood down, revealing his face and long, alabaster hair tucked behind his cloak, "and why wouldn't I? Blood of my blood."

What? I pull my head back and wrap my arms around me as I step away. This man is insane.

"Ēza iā nādrēsy hen ñuha lentor issare āzma isse Gryffindor?" Has a bastard of my house been born in Gryffindor.

My body flinches when bells begin to toll.

He takes my panic to his advantage. He grabs me by my arms and forces me close. My boots skid as I come to an abrupt halt. My hands dart to his chest, "I-I don't know what you're saying."

He presses closer to me, uncaring of how my palms repel against him. The bells ringing put me further on edge.

"Where were you born, little dove?" he mumbles softly but I find malice in it.

I feel my eyes begin to water as my breath strains. I don't know why he asks me this, and I don't know why I answer, "K-King's Landing."

He lets out a deep chuckle and nods, "how many years after the Conquest?"

"What?" I shake my head, "why do I have to-"

"Kesrio syt aōha dārilaros epagon." Because your prince asks.

"Dārilaros?" I mutter lowly.

The bells stop ringing. Suddenly, I remember that stupid urban legend about the castle arch. Wait. I look at the man's face and risk looking over to my shoulder. As I turn my head, I see the locked gate with the same motif of the arch I went through as I chased after Libby when she was dared to go through the stupid thing.

I chuckle manically. No. NO. That's fucking insane. Realistically speaking, portals that open at midnight are not real! It's stupid! Nonsensical!

And also, yeah, if people say the ruins has an arch that'll take you back two thousand years, maybe don't go through it. I mean I didn't! I- I was following Libby! I-

He hums and nods, "kessa, dōna run, iksan aōha dārilaros," he brushes my hair back. Yes, sweet thing, I am your prince.

My eyes widen. Is he being for real? Be so fucking for real right now.

I open my mouth but I do not respond. Suddenly, it's like I'm back in high school, giggling with my seatmate over the pictures of the Rogue Prince. What the fuck.

He takes in my expression and smirks.

"D-Daemon?"

He howls in laughter, "very good-"

"What the fuck?!"

"-you know me even where you're from," he smirks.

"You're a really good cosplayer!" I wrangle out of his grip, "and this- this is a really elaborate set!"

Daemon the cosplayer lets me break away and I wipe my face as I snap some sense to myself, "I must be dreaming-"

"Mmm, a flattering thought," he laughs

"-I'm fucking roofied!"

"But, I assure you, I am very real."

I shudder as I pant and pace around. This can't be real. I look up to the wall. But this fucking castle is so fucking real. I grunt and walk over to it. I hiss and pull my hand back when I touch the stone; it was as if it burned me.

No. No. No! This is a renaissance fair! A- a medieval cosplay event! A fucking- a fucking-

"Gīda ilagon," he mutters, grabbing arm.

I turn to him as I brush my hair back in frustration. I whimper, "what?"

"Calm down," he strokes my arm, looking at the clip that slipped off my head, "I will not harm you."

I raise my brows at his words.

"After all," he grabs my clip and readjusts it in my hair, "what kind of forbearer would I be if I harmed my sweet little girl?"

I hang like a pirated CD, "I beg your pardon?"

He chuckles, stroking my cheek.

I feel an immense heat crawl up my face in realization, "y-you think--" I'm a Targaryen?!

Aint no fucking way.

I laugh nervously, "right."

That's why he's been helping me?!

"I must say, I am happy to know the princess lives in excess," he brings his hands to the collar of jacket and pushes it away. He takes in the glitter of my halter top and smiles when finds the skin of my shoulders, "very good."

I shriek and shove him off.

He chuckles as he recoils, raising his hands in surrender.

I wrap my arms around myself as he takes in the rest of my outfit. Oh my gosh, man doesn't know about plastic.

When his eyes dart back to my face, I realize he must think my golden clips were actual gold. I mean, thank you?

"I took you to the place," I quickly sputter, "I'm going back and leaving with Libby now."

He gives a lopsided grin, "I see no ruins before me, princess."

I shiver. I'm in danger.

Suddenly, I think about how Daemon was said to be misunderstood, that most of the things he did, historically, were out of love. He wasn't actually a bad person-

"You said you weren't going to hurt me," I mutter.

"No," he chuckles, "what I want to do to you doesn't have to hurt."

My eyes widen. I raise my hands, "Prince Daemon, please-"

"All in good time," he smirks and undoes the ties of his cloak by his collar.

My heart races, "no- please-"

"Shhh," he shakes his head and throws his cloak over my shoulders, "on my life and my honor," he ties the string around my neck, "no one shall touch a hair on your head," he smirks, "none but I."

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