#i think it's entirely possible and actually quite likely
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Important Update:
It has been brought to my attention by several people that there was / is a blog that is impersonating me and posting very hateful & harmful things aimed at the jiraiblr community. This blog had a username very similar to this one (jiraiisupportgroup and then jiiraisupportgroup both with double “i”s at different points in the username) they copied my profile picture, header image, blog description, pinned post(?), and even went as far as to copy anonymous asks I have been sent and send them to themselves to reply to to create confusion and trick people into thinking that blog was me.
In light of this I want to make a few things clear:
- This blog is a side blog. It cannot follow you, it cannot like posts, and it cannot send asks. All of those things would instead link to my main blog. If any blog that looks like this one ever follows you, likes one of your posts, or sends you an ask please block them immediately.
- If this blog does get terminated for whatever reason, any back-up blogs to replace this one will be made as another side blog. So please know this warning to block any blog that looks like this one if they follow you, like one of your posts, or send you an ask will never change.
- In the event that this blog is ever terminated, the first few posts of any replacement blog will be proof that it is actually me. What this details I am not entire sure of at this exact moment, and likely will not share to avoid the case of another disgusting copy-cat.
I want to give so much thanks to @bpdgrrrl1312 @bl0odied-kittypaw @criminaldoenjangjjigae @twistedsweetheart @sakiyaki-sashimi @oneeyawn @jiraikasa-kun as well as any others I may have missed (and all the anons who contacted me) for bringing this first of all to my attention, but more importantly to everyone’s attention. Thank you all so much for spreading awareness about this impersonator, and for helping distance myself from the horrible horrible things this person was saying.
As far as I can tell at the moment it appears that the blog is deleted? (Can anyone help me confirm?) But I will keep an eye and ear out to make sure, and update everyone if they pop up again. Thank you all so much for reporting this blog while I was not online for the night T-T not only for myself but also for the jiraiblr community as a whole.
It really hurts my heart and sickens me to know that someone impersonated my blog to spew hatred and vitriol. I did not get to see a majority of the things the blog did post (I saw screenshots of maybe 2 or 3 of the posts), so I can’t even imagine what else they were saying (especially to get banned so quickly because tumblr typically does not ban accounts very fast).
If this blog targeted you or even if you had the misfortune of seeing this blog, I am so deeply sorry. Please know that no matter what this person may have said you are loved, you are important, you are valid, and you deserve to be safe and feel welcome. I truly believe that, and I am so sorry that anyone tried to make you feel otherwise.
I am sending all of you so much love and as much support as I can ♡ I know many of us are stressed going into holiday season and this whole situation did not help with that. From what I can gather you all handled it quite well and for that I am so so appreciative. ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊ love all of you so much and I am sending everyone the warmest wishes and happiest days I possibly can ♡ ♡ ♡
#please forgive me as I mass tag because I just want people to know T-T#important#update#!!!#psa#jiraiblr#landmineblr#jiraiblogging#landmineblogging#jirai#landmine#landmine type#lifestyle landmine#lifestyle jirai
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Early Sunsets Prologue
7 months ago, the world was normal, save for one small lab in the middle of nowhere. The lab was ordinarily quiet and privately owned by the head scientist (and most likely his janitor too), but this was about to change. Pac was only beginning to pull on his coat and start his day when his janitor, the only other staff he ever had regularly around) alerted him to a van pulling into the driveway. The vehicle was almost entirely unmarked, save for a large insignia on the side that Pac knew at once: The Federation. He stepped back from the window, his eyes wide and his jaw clenched. He hadn’t been working on anything illegal- well, not recently- but there was no reason for the government to be on his ass this time. A car door slammed shut outside as both Pac and the janitor quickly pulled every blind down.
“Calma, calma- It’s going to be alright Pac. You didn’t do anything wrong, what could they possibly want from you?” The janitor cooed softly to the other as he had begun to pace.
Pac dug a hand into his hair. There were voices outside, but they weren’t distinct enough for him to actually make out words. “Fitchi- They don’t come here for no reason! They might kill me! Or us! Or you!”
A hand gently clasped ahold of Pac’s, and another soon took his other. “I will protect you if it is the last thing I do, Pac,” Fit gently squeezed his hands. Pac hoped it never ever came to that. A knock at the door finally pulled them from each other’s eyes.
Pac begrudgingly let go of his janitor’s (lover’s) hands and crossed the room to get the door. A masked employee greeted Pac blankly before stepping past him into the lab. Another employee followed, and Pac quickly noted that both had large guns within his view. Finally, a third fed followed behind them. This one was not visibly armed, but the chill dancing down Pac’s spine told him he didn’t need to be. This worker was still clad in the signature ghostly white of the Federation, but they wore their long white hair in a crafted bun atop their head. Their uniform was different, too. Instead of the smooth white masks of the grunts, this worker had an unsettling smile printed onto their mask and a pair of bear (he assumed) ears attached to the top. If Pac weren’t so on edge, he might have been able to admire the clear effort that had gone into their appearance. No more employees came in, but he doubted the Federation would waste a full van on three people.
“Can I help you?” Pac asked, straightening up his posture a little before slumping just slightly again. Fit’s firm hand found its way back into Pac’s.
“Actually… you can.” The third employee spoke slowly and carefully, crossing to the centre of the room now. The other two flanked either side of them like the bodyguards they may well have been. “You see, the Federation has been keeping a close eye on this here…laboratory… for quite some time now and we think that, perhaps, you might be of some use to us.”
Pac cocked his head to the side a little before looking over at Fit, who was equally as confused. It wasn’t like Chume was one of those major labs right now. They weren’t pumping out medicine, or drugs, or even anything really. Shouldn’t the Federation have their own labs? Fit squeezed his hand slightly. Pac returned it.
“Perhaps you’re not understanding me-” The Bear, as Pac was now mentally calling them, effortlessly switched into Portuguese despite never having an accent in English. “Pac, você tem habilidades que a Federação pode usar. Nós precisamos de você.” (‘You have skills the Federation can use. We need you.’)
Pac blinked a second before just staring. “O que- O que vocês precisam?” His gaze flicked over to Fit quickly, which did actually help him calm a little. He could practically hear his voice even though he wasn’t speaking, his eyes said it all. Calma, Pac, calma. Pac steadied the slight shake in his hands– the only real tell that he was nervous at all– and let out a quiet but heavy breath.
“Seu laboratório é muito útil, e você é muito inteligente, mas… você sabe disso.” Pac could practically hear the smirk lurking in their voice. (“Your laboratory is very useful, and you’re very intelligent, but… you know that.”)
“E? E o que você precisa?” He took a small step towards them and started to study their mask now that he was no longer trembling too much to see straight. Now he could see that this mask was even further different from those of the usual feds. This mask had actual eye holes behind a thin mesh that made up the dull eyes of the smile printed onto it. Something about this caused the hair on his neck to stand on end. He hadn’t even noticed previously that the plain white masks didn’t have eye holes, but now that he had, that shiny plastic (assumedly) would be burned into his brain.
“Eu quero que você crie um vírus.” (I want you to create a virus.)
<><><><><><><><><><>
Authors notes: Hello!! If you enjoyed this please please reblog and be ready to catch the rest of the fic on Ao3 tomorrow! The rest of this fic is going to be Spiderbit with some cutaways to Fit and Pac bc I had so much fun writing them here! Also, feel free to send me asks about the AU as it comes out!!
#eefspeaks#fic#qsmp#wowzaitseef#spiderbit#spiderbit fic#some hideduo#^ for the whole fic#hideduo#qsmp fic#early sunsets over monroeville#early sunsets fic#zombies au#apocalypse au
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In light of the reveal of Abel's complete design, have this dumb doodle i made on magma a week ago based on an interaction my bsf @plushtoothpanic acted out while we were joking about Vivziepop's lack of diversity(the dog character is his sona).
Also, rant below involving Abel, I don't want this to become a critical blog since Hazbin has held a special place in my heart since 2021, but oh my God I am so sick of the shit that Vivzie is pulling
Making Adam white was already quite a choice, I had a pretty specific vision of a dark-skinned curly-haired man before his face was revealed. Although I had been expecting a biblically-accurate Adam, I didn't mind having him white as long as Eve wasn't made white as well.
Abel's design throws this out the window.
First let's focus on Abel being the child of Adam and Eve. This means Eve is white, and likely also blonde. Historically, the first humans were East/South African, and not white. Ok, well what about biblically? The popular depictions of biblical figures are mainly European interpretations from when Europe adapted the Bible and made all the figures pale, like them. It's more likely that the dark-skinned writers that originally complied stories into the Bible meant for the figures to look more like them. It would make more sense if one or both of them was dark.
Saint Peter is a whole nother' piss drawer that I don't wanna open, but whitewashing an actual human being that existed is just so gross.
Now, the other thing I wanna talk about that talks less about race and more about theories surrounding Abel being blonde... People were already theorizing that maybe one of the kids was Lucifer's spawn because of the implied affair with Eve. It wasn't the most popular theory but now it's making a comeback with the reveal of Abel's complete design.
I dislike this theory(besides the fact that it's just stupid) because
1. Cain is Adam and Eve's firstborn son. Abel is their second. Even if Eve and Lucifer had an affair in Eden, that would result in Cain, not Abel. Also we aren't entirely aware of Lucifer's powers involving entering the living world but I doubt he can canonically go there, or at least not after Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden, since Hell was made as a punishment for him and any mortal that sins and I don't think he would be able to waltz back to Earth that easily. I suppose maybe they could be twins and Cain could just have been the first one born, but I don't think that's usually what "firstborn" implies, or how it's generally interpreted?
2. This is gonna look really bad on Lucifer's part?? Like, this implies that Lilith left Adam for Lucifer, then Lucifer got with Eve(possibly cheating on Lilith if she wasn't aware/didn't consent to the affair) and cucked Adam for a second time???? Lucifer would straight-up be getting the Stolas treatment where they keep making him more and more shitty then try to justify it anyways. Cmon guys.. I wanna be able to cheer for Lucifer too but he doesn't seem remorseful at all for anything he's done, more like he's been playing the victim for a decamillennium despite being a possible cheater and the one who destroyed Adam and Eve's life.
3. How would this be plot-relevant at all?? My closest guess is to make a disconnect from Adam like "oh he was never my ACTUAL father anyways" and also to try and make a bond with Abel and Charlie being blood-related so he would decide to side with her or something. Also on top of that I hate the whole trope of someone suddenly not giving a fuck about the parents who raised them in favor of their biological parents who didn't raise them. It's a dumb trope and if this theory is canon and they pull something like that.... ughh.
yeah. Overall, too many Aryans, pleasepleasepleaseplease pleaseeep please don't make Eve white even though I know they will anyways, and if that stupid theory is true then Lucifer is a snake-tongued, home-wrecking, unfaithful pile of shit that is disguised as a poor depressed dad that the fandom eats up and woobifies. Not that I don't want him to have flaws, but he doesn't seem very sorry for what he did(he has his whole snake and apple motif, that's like saying you feel guilty for a murder then using the hyper-specific murder weapon as your symbol) and also Abel being his son would be such an unnecessary plotline that would make him look soooo so so so so much worse because he wouldn't have much of a wholesome excuse for that.
The only good things I'm getting out of this are that I can post about Abel without having to tag it as leaks and also people are cracking jokes about Abel being the son of Lucifer and Adam
#tw vivziepop#tw racsim#tw cheating#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel criticism#hazbin hotel critique#vivziepop critical#vivziepop criticism#vivziepop critique#if eve is white AND abel is lucifer's son im throwing hands
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Frankly, I don’t agree with your conclusion.
The reality is that Rhaegar and Elia’s marriage was loveless (in a romantic sense) and was arranged by Aerys. There’s been much conjecture over why Aerys chose Elia and therefore Dorne, but most agree that it was a mix of reasons, three being that Elia had Targaryen blood, by marrying Rhaegar to Dorne Aerys could isolate Rhaegar’s growing power block, and it’d insult Tywin. Therefore we readers know this wasn’t a normal marriage. And GRRM, if I’m remembering correctly, called Rhaegar and Elia’s marriage a tragedy.
So, from what little we know it’s fairly easy to conclude that this marriage was not healthy for either party.
When people use the arranged marriage “excuse” they’re not really excusing anything, because they don’t attach the normal standards of marriage to this relationship. The way I see it, most arranged marriages are legal ways to buy and sell people for profit under the guise of marital sanctimony. So to me, both parties (Rhaegar and Elia) should have been able to have lovers outside of their arranged marriage, however, that was not possible because of the patriarchal standards women are unfairly expected to uphold and subject themselves to.
The only “cheating” I wouldn’t justify would be cheating between couples that actually fell in love. Therefore, your usage of Ned Stark to support your point actually doesn’t in my eyes as his and Catelyn’s marriage is love based. There is a clear difference here and equating their marriage to Rhaegar and Elia’s is doing a disservice to GRRM’s writing and any reader of ASOIAF.
To go over some of the other points you made 1) the idea that Rhaegar got with Lyanna specifically for the prophecy is bs that’s been consumed and regurgitated way too many times and has no standing as a legitimate theory if you actually read the books. 2) The idea that people would readily support Rhaegar and Lyanna’s relationship is iffy at best. You’re overstating the North’s standing and image as to many in the South the Northerners are nothing more than barbarians who worship tree gods. The only reason the North seems to have a better standing than Dorne at the moment is because of Ned and Cat’s relationships outside of the North. So no, the world wouldn’t just fall over at Lyanna’s feet and abandon Elia because of xenophobia. If anything, Lyanna and Jon would be the ones in need of protection. 3) Believing that Elia and her children’s lives would be in danger is, quite frankly, an unnecessary concern when taking into account Lyanna and Rhaegar’s personalities and the little we know about Rhaegar’s relationship with his children (he clearly loved them and had a good relationship with them).
To play the devil’s advocate for a sec, I want to say that I completely understand the distaste towards cheating and anything of it’s like. I really do understand why people take issue with Rhaegar and Lyanna’s relationship, however, when taking the entire situation into account I don’t believe that this actually qualifies as “cheating” as we know it, nor do I think it’s okay for stan’s to completely warp a character just because Rhaegar did something as human as falling in love outside of his arranged marriage.
Also, I as a reader love the complexity of this situation. I understand all parties and sympathize with all characters. Frankly, all three characters got the short end of the stick and it’s terrible, but I don’t think it’s the characters and their actions that need changing, I think it’s the volatile system that needs to be upended and rebuilt from the ground up.
Why do people in this fandom normalize an affair between Rhaegar and Lyanna?
Because Rhaegar’s marriage was arranged. So it means the reason for arranged marriage is an excuse for cheating and cheating with a highborn woman and running away with her?
Not like that. Just because the marriage was arranged doesn't make it an excuse to affair and run away with the other woman, especially to fulfill the prophecy.
If the three of them were still alive after the rebellion. And People knew the relationships between Rhaegar and Lyanna, the people would surely support them. Because Lyanna is from the North and she is the Stark. And that put Elia and her children's lives in danger. It can happen like the Blackfyre rebellion. Because a lot of people are racist and sentimental towards Dornish.
This fandom is sick of normalizing an affair between Rhaegar and Lyanna. But if happens to Ned Stark if he really has an affair or their other favorite character in the affair, they will be mad.
#it would’ve been wonderful if Elia could have found love outside of her marriage like Rhaegar#sadly the Westerosi social structure is very much anti women so idk if that would’ve been possible without breaking lots of social norms#i get it but also you’re not treating rhaegar and lyanna as their own characters with understandable motives#you’re treating them as an extension of elias tragedy#apologies for any errors i’m feeling lazy
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i wish i had more friends that lived near me
my irl besties from high school are like impossible to reach most of the time
#there are only two people i know that live near me#one i don't know that well so i'm awkward#but i would love to get to know#the other i'm p sure doesn't like me anymore lol#not even like an anxiety or bpd oh everyone hates/dislikes me moment#i think it's entirely possible and actually quite likely#anywayssss tri state/nyc metro area mutuals hmu#mars.txt
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Does no one else find it odd that magic that had been inhibited by the Malleus Key keeps being slowly and quietly returned with seemingly no changes to the key itself? Is the Solstice still stuck or is it simply progressing very slowly? Is anyone working on this in Exandria? Can we get some answers about this?
#filed under: posts written deliberately to be much funnier with my url#i am genuinely curious but i also think Essek would be like 'HELLO CAN WE LOOK INTO THIS WHATS HAPPENING'#alternatively he already has. it's possible honestly.#i could actually see the answer being that the apogee solstice is progressing very very slowly and has been since the bridge went up#specifically because it was not quite right when it was activated#but in that case I'm just like. okay but what does that mean for. everything.#is the bridge becoming weaker? is it possible the ley lines will shift enough that it breaks down entirely?#I just wanna know. i wanna understand. matt how are you conceptualizing this.#critical role#cr meta#also the answer to my last question is: we cannot cuz the hells simply will never think to ask 😔#okay I'm going back to my course readings ANYWAY
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Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.
So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!
But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.
According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.
He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!
So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.
Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.
And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.
And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.
Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.
Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.
Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...
One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.
Gepard doesn't sleep that night.
Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.
Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.
She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.
"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.
Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.
His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?
“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.
Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”
“A plan?”
“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.
“We don't even know-”
“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.
“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.
It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.
The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.
“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-
Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”
“No what?”
“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”
Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”
Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed.
Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.
“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”
“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.
From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light.
The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.
He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.
Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.
Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.
Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.
In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.
Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.
He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.
He only hopes that it's enough.
#honkai star rail#gepard landau#hsr gepard#pelageya sergeyevna#hsr pela#hsr#smacking Gepard out of Hoyo's hands and running off with him skzjmdkd#tentatively Figuring Out how to write these two... It feels a little tricky starting out with extreme circumstances like this haha#I feel like a lot of people see Gepard as naive for trusting Cocolia so much but I don't think that's quite it. He's not stupid.#He's not even naive.#He's someone who has been groomed since birth by his own parents to be an obedient Guard and nothing outside of that role.#You are not immune to propaganda etc etc#But even then there are a lot of things like all the included screenshots where he. Doesn't actually seem to like/trust Cocolia much.#I think Serval was a really good influence on him as a kid. He might have turned out much much worse without her.#and even with how I've written him here. I don't think he's normally slow to act or one to stand aside and make other people lead.#it's just that this specifically was a pretty extreme circumstance for him.#and also he openly states elsewhere that Pela is overbearing and he tries not to interfere with her work whenever possible nskzhdjdjd#Pela too. I don't know that I normally see her as someone with a bad temper or quick to anger.#But again; extreme circumstances haha#Bc like. they both would have seen what happened to Serval when she stood up to Cocolia. they know damn well what's going to happen to them.#if they fuck this up and get caught then they're done.#and I mean. What are they supposed to do? they're two people against the highest authority of the entire nation.#regardless I do love Gepard agonizing over this in the future after Bronya takes over and everything has settled down#did he do the right thing? did he make the right choice? if he went vigilante how many soldiers would have died without his protection?#would Belobog have fallen completely? how many people died because he DIDN'T run away? was it actually enough?#I love characters forced between a rock and a hard place. no good options. pick your poison.#no winning- only weighing what you can and cannot bear to lose.#make your choice and decide whether you want to rot or to burn.
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a part of lisa deep down gets feverishly excited every time the waiter gets taylor’s order wrong because it means she gets to say that she asked for no pickles
#i think taylor would ask for pickles actually but the sentiment still stands#i say a part bc she does not want taylor to get the wrong order .. what she wants above all is for taylor to b happy#+ that means things running as smoothly as possible#but she has turned saving taylor into her number one priority like she has centred her entire being around it#she has predicated her sense of self on it after such little time#so she needs those little moments in those little social corners that taylor doesnt yet know how to quite navigate#like gaining xp#lisa wilbourn
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Bowtie Charm! Inspired by @zarla-s‘ super cute rendition hehe 💕 (Patreon)
Bonus collar breakdowns:
Changes depending on the doodle!
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#And a couple other sonas! Haha#Very yays and thank yous again for the trade ♥ She's so cute hehe#She doesn't normally wear a bowtie but her collar can look a lot like it at times!#I decided to go all in to see just how she Would look with a bowtie and the answer is cute! I for one am shocked#My bowties tend to be quite poofy huh always very rounded - Charm's collar tapers kinda almond shaped#I'm still not entirely sure how the double-tapered look works.... It's scalloped >.> That's what I always say lol#Really she probably would and should have the Mandarin collar - possibly more scalloping >:3c - I just go outside the margins a lot haha#I've drawn her once or twice with the butterfly collar tho! Where her collar dips down into her spiderweb pattern at the top of her shirt!#It's a really cute shape ahhh it works best with my lineless stuff but even here I think it turned out nice! :D Cute! Pretty!#Butterfly in a spiderweb........wings something something much to think about#Butterfly were 100% my gateway into finding bugs and eventually spiders cool so there you go symbolism-wise lol#Still remember being too excited to sleep as a littley on the promise of going to a butterfly house the next day hehe <3 Love 'em!#Fullbody as well - the larger dot in the middle of her kneepad in Zarla's looks like a donut to me so I had to try that out too!#Smol's actually been talking about making a donut/eclaire-themed JD Resident lately I can't steal her thunder hehe ♪ Oh just this once#Donut kneepads probably would offer a good bit of support that cookie kneepads don't huh :0 Less pressure right on the kneecap#All the cutes! Though I did keep her double-scalloped thigh-high shoes I can't help it they're my favourite haha#And ending off with the other two Bowtie Sonas! Hall of Mirrors definitely deserves that moniker she was introduced with that as a feature#And their cane but pfsh details - the important part is the bowtie! And they have that!#Will's is just to break up his design a bit haha - I think Erase has the same style of bowtie now that I think of it??#White on white tucked into the jacket... Hm!#Always love a trio or duo or however ♪ The fun the fun ♫
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#prefacing this w ik in fanfiction they're all just our little barbie dolls we're making kiss and it doesnt matter whatsoever but like Do you#understand how much love and respect and loyalty there is between connor and leon irl#like in connors nhlpa ama he immediately no question said that leon's the nhler who knows him best + that he's spent his entire professiona#career w him. whenever leon's asked what he thinks of connor the first sentance out his mouth is 'you [the media] know. he knows' and then#he carries on talking about how he's the best player in the world + connor never hesitates to return the sentiment#and between the two of them it's not sentiments they sau it like its fact bc it is#and their whole 'cup or bust' thing every analyst and their mother have taken it as a 'they're going to win in edmonton or not at all' in t#e sense that they want to stay in edmonton n stay together <- like not even in an insane person edmonton polycule type of way in the they'r#the best players in the world and have insane chemistry on the ice and are eachother's best friends type of way#like a reason why their pp is so lethal is bc those two on a line + the other team down yeah ofc thats going to be automatic#and leon saying that their best beats anyone else's best no doubt and connor talking about building the team from the ground up like leon w#s there when they got boo'd off the ice in 2014 he was a part of building the team that's thier damn team and in turn the sheer amount of#respect the rest of the team have for them and they have for the rest of the team and the trust that while they're the best players they#don't have to play for all of them n that's part of thier whole like. our fourth line stands up to any other first line rock solid belief#like and ofc thier on ice hugs and lockerroom hugs and that moment in the sportsnet knee injury doc and how they mention that they're best#friends whenever theyre asked and how their gf's are also best friends and also their damn dogs#NOT TO MENTION. he's my ride or die. im really lucky our paths crossed here in edmonton. as a friend it was really tough to watch that#<- leon's insane 2022 playoff run on a broken ankle#and the way leon's been dubbed the german gretzky and connor's been the next next one since he was 15 and the way they have such a solid#control of the lockerroom together and i dont know if they've ever said conflicting things to the media and how they've said that they push#eachother to be better (connor saying that leon told him to score more)#and their little taps throughout their season and bringing back their team from the dead and leon being the one to make connor laugh in#pressers and on the bench#ALL TO SAY. like i am a mc.matt.drai enjoyer in the threesome/winners room/asg/2997 are actually quite abnormal about eachother and matthew#has never been normal about anything in his life and this might be fun. kinda way#but 2997 are soulbonded in ways quite possibly none of us will ever be able to truly understand#<- also i do mean this genuinely like they're not normal people but both of them are not normal#SORRY FOR RAMBLING. i just wish there was better written fanfiction.#<- wish to be the change you see in the world innit tho#so funny to me how the eh is just canadian innit.
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I love that the bg3 guys are all written to have this intense adoration of karlach and lae’zel’s abilities to absolutely eviscerate their enemies. they’ve all got the same taste in women, which is “she could gut the big scary man chasing me, and then princess carry me to safety in her blood spattered arms.” and I respect and relate to that, as a bisexual man myself.
#bg3#thoughts about media#I actually love all combinations between any of the guys and lae or karlach. all very good pairings.#honestly hard to choose a fave... but I do quite like wyll & lae and star & karlach.#idk. something about a guy exiled by his own father and then alienated by fiend’s blood with a girl entirely outcast by her people.#in both cases they are punished despite doing the right thing all because they questioned someone of a lawful alignment.#and then star and karlach... both stripped of their autonomy and treated as nothing but a means to an end...#and the unique romance cutscenes they can get with each other!! actually so sweet.#but don’t get me wrong. I still do love all the other combos too.#and it goes without saying that lae & karlach is a great pair too. nothing like a warrior’s bond.#meanwhile my approval the m/m ships is...well. limited.#I love wyll & star together. I like gale & wyll. I am okay with halsin & any of the boys...but he has to be written better.#and by better I mean give him a little more character and make it less about sex only. because the game largely reduces him to sex alone.#no shart mention because I never take her anywhere unless I have to.#sorry. I do not hate her but she just isn’t interesting to me.#and although there’s writing to acknowledge shartstarion as a possible pair.#I think it’s the worst companion/companion pair and I refuse to think about it.#I mean seriously. it’s a combination of two polyamorous bisexuals and yet the pair feels heterosexual.#please don’t to that to my darling vampire. let him be princess carried by the hot warrior gals.
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i’m gonna be so for real, if things don’t start changing for me in good ways i will be disappearing off the face of the earth
#Rasp Rambles#vent#my mental health is already in a shitty state and i am already considering multiple different ways to end my own fucking life#suicide mention#like i’m genuinely hanging on by the thinnest fucking thread only because i have friends that care about me. i don’t want any of them to be#sad about me dying. i’d say the same for my family but i don’t they ever have really given a shit about me so what does it matter.#i’ve been forced to be the perfect; quite child my entire fucking life and that was never good enough. i had to be kind and respectful#even though none of the adults in my family ever really were that to me. and the ones who were didn’t stay that way for long. it truly#sucks so fucking badly that i can’t get away from any of them. i don’t have a job because mental health issues; some physical health issues#and my lack of drivers license and car. i can’t financially support myself. i never get to fucking leave the house and go anywhere but the#store or my grandparent’s house with my mom and sister. i have ONE irl friend who i’m not even sure considers me a friend because#we haven’t gotten to hang out much since i graduated in 2023. i have practically no fucking support system in the physical world.#i don’t get to do fun things i enjoy that aren’t internet related besides drawing. but artblock and general depression are doing their#damn best to prevent me from even enjoying the creative process at all. one may think its difficult to feel lonely when you’re living in a#house with at least one other person but its fully fucking possible apparently. for me at least. i really wish my mom would actually get me#a therapist or psychiatrist i can see in person but we all know that’ll never fucking happen because again; she doesn’t fucking care enough#to make any actually helpful attempts to get me medicated for whatever the fucks going on in this stupid head of mine.#sorry for being incredibly fucking depressed and mad at 3am. it will happen again unfortunately for all of us.
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Everyone's on about Miguel beefing with a 15 yo, which sure it's funny, but y'all are letting the Spot, "I now declare this child that MY INVENTION inflicted this anomalous occurrence on, my lifelong nemesis", the ULTIMATE beef haver, to go unchecked.
#spireverse spoilers#across the spiderverse spoilers#you know at least miguel has the excuse that 15yo or not Miles's actions might cause TWO whole dimensions to collapse#assuming both pavitr's and miles' own dimension have a similar population to ours#thats SIXTEEN BILLION LIVES at stake babes#yah like no i'd also be going kooky crazy in his shoes#ofc his handling of Miles' situation wasn't good but that's not. precisely his job? Breaking the news shouldve fallen on Peter and Gwen#yanno. his actual friends? but they skirted around the subject too much so woops it falls on Miguel now#the most emotionally unsuited for this task guy possible. woopsies.#get ready for the most projection filled fight of your life kid cause it sure is cheaper quicker and easier than therapy!#I jest and the projection part is true but tbh i think too many people in the tags are interpreting Miguel being antagonistic to the rest-#as him having personal beef with children instead of him focusing (too much) on the bigger picture. like..isnt that his entire personality?#the 'fate of the multiverse' guy? cmon now.#the main issue is that miles Does Have To TRY- that's part of the canon event in the first place#trying and failing. if his plan of keeping him trapped until jeff died had worked then his dimension would most likely also collapse#if anything the way things are set up rn is sooo interesting because miles IS precisely on the way to fulfill a canon event#the question is - are they going to play into that- or is there going to be a twist. Gwen's realization that Her dad could in fact Quit -#comes to mind#i for one would find it really funny if the plot of the next movie is trying to convince jeff to quit his job but i doubt it jxnsn#my guess is that since this is basically the variation of the trolley problem where the singular person on the tracks is one you care about#(but said person is simultaneously also on the 5 person rail because if they don't die everyone does)#and miles has decided to just go and stop the fucking trolley itself fnsjsj#the plot's gonna go a bit more all out . /Beyond/ the previous scope- if you will#the only sticking point i have with this movie in general though is pavitr sticking with the group like.#“obviously he would've stuck with miles- he wouldn't want the guy to die!”so you think he prefers the version of events where everyone does#his friends? his aunt - whatever family he has- his girlfriend? EVERYONE?#yeah like nah until he can solidly know that shits gonna be fine in his home world i don't think it makes sense for him to fuck around more#yanno?#not that I dont want to see more of him- on the contrary I fuckin love his design to bits#just saying if miguel drops the bomb that his universe collapsed and my guy switches sides i would not be surprised
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no amount of description will be able to express how funny this instance of the classic “never mention your wife if you want to live” war movie trope is
#red randomness#wwi#a little-known fact about german snipers is that they were actually specifically trained to listen for the word 'wife' and fire at will#that or. considering the fact that this character is introduced with a comment about him trying to get with the general's daughter#meaning he is literally cheating on said wife#it is entirely possible that his wife was holding the gun#anyway this show is. It's not good.#I think some of the Indiana Jones movies are quite fun but this supposed edutainment show for kids is poorly-plotted boringly-written#and not even that educational#like it's actively inaccurate about shit. bestie the pyramids aren't in the middle of the open desert#and there was no significant franco-belgian beef during wwi#this episode would have been greatly improved if it had focused less on indy not being able to sufficiently show trauma through his acting#and more on him spending time at the cafe with robert graves and siegfried sassoon#speaking of which remy immediately ditches indy to go sleep with women in this episode. once again some friend he is#which is how indy gets adopted into the sassoon-graves friend group#the queer community calls to you indy. they care. they listen.#remy's married too btw. if anything there should be no franco-belgian beef in this universe#because the show has established that they should instead bond over cheating on their wives
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me wanting to make a dress for irene that would align with my fav skins of his BRBRRHFHRJHR
#WE GOT TROUBADOUR AND HIS CORDIERITE SKIN#me thinking for the black tulip and soul catcher.... i have two media posters i wanna redraw for these two#(whispers its castle of cagliostro and grim fandango) MEOOWWWWWWWW#~ rambling#I DONT KNOW HOW ILL GO ABOUT THE SOUL CATCHER SKIN i would love to try to make it mexican inspired too but i'm quite shy to ... base it-#- off a culture i dont personally know well? idk idk but yes#i actually made an old skin that was meant to align with ronald of nice years ago in my old yume blog#but i feel she needs a diff dress. she was like some water nymph for that skin but maybe ill change it :3#hmhmhm me thinking me thinknng#for black tulip hes entirely in black so i wanted to contrast it by making her dress as white as possible#me gonna look for nicey white dresses hehehe
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yeah, so i just finished cataclysm
#spoilers in tags#do not read unless you've already gone thru phase 2#the high republic liveblogging#the high republic spoilers#cataclysm#i am....... in agony#i spent pretty much the entire last 20 pages crying#I THOUGHT I WAS HEARTBROKEN WHEN AIDA ACTUALLY DIED. SO IMAGINE MY PAIN WHEN THE LAST LINE TO REFERENCE HER SAYS#''[ENYA ZIRI AND PHAN-TU'S LAUGHTER] ECHOED THROUGH THE TEMPLE HALLS AND MADE THE OTHER JEDI SMILE BECAUSE IT SOUNDED LIKE AIDA'S LAUGHTER'#SHUT THE FUCK UP#SHUT UP#WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME#THE FIRST THING CREIGHTON DID WHEN HE WOKE UP WAS TRY TO FIND HER#I'M DISINTEGRATING AS WE SPEAK#WHAT THE FUCK#CREIGHTON TAKES ON ENYA???? THEY'RE GONNA HELP EACH OTHER THRU THEIR GRIEF??? HE BEFRIENDED THE MED DROID?????????#the entire funeral for the 3 fallen jedi had me fucking sobbing btw i was a mess#also. wasn't expecting this but axel's redemption did end up winning me over. i was so sure i would continue to hate him#he's very much in love w/ gella and that means i love him very much as well#cataclysm also keeps up a 2/2 record that it shares w/ convergence by way of:#gella nattai says a deeply profound and spiritually moving/comforting line in each book and it hits me right in my religious trauma#the whole 2nd half of the book was incredible. i quite literally spent about 7 hours reading it as fast as i possibly could#i'm not the biggest fan of certain parts of kang's writing but her strength ABSOLUTELY lies in describing battle scenes#those were the easiest to read battle sequences i've ever read in my life and that's out of the entire phase 2 + other prequel books#i think the only other book whose combat didn't confuse me was the 1st republic commando but it's been long enough that i'm not sure#chancellor greylark is so interesting i'm obsessed and also the end scenes w/ her and axel had me weeping like a babe#anyways. that's all for now#my posts
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