#i think it's a good idea to look up the play to see if the premise interests you before jumping in

[lucidfairies]

— pretty in pink [sevika]

synopsis: after you lose your final strike, your parents all but banish you to their old friend's farm, and well, as much as you hate it, the woman happens to be obscenely attractive

pairing: rich!bimbo!reader x farmer! sevika

warnings: younger!reader (twenties, sevika is thirties/forties), mean!sevika, pussy eating, backshots, fingering, orgasm denial, domestic kink, breeding kink, free use mentioned, dirty talk, pet names, fucking in front of a mirror, breath play, oral fixation, spanking + counting spanks, degradation, stomach bulge, squirting strap, strap referred to as cock/dick

wc: 4.8k

a/n: lots of quick notes! this fic is very much based on this post by @polkadotzzzz !!! and per usual, so many thanks to my dearest @sevsgiirl for helping me out with this one 🩷

It was only one party.

Your best friend, Jinx, invited you, and it was a well known fact that Jinx knew the best parties, with the best drugs and the best drinks. So of course you couldn’t turn her down, and thank god you didn’t. The party was packed, and the drinks and drugs were more than anything you had ever dreamt of.

That being said, when a picture of you snorting a line circled all of the tabloids, it was easy to say that your parents wanted your head on a stick. Your parents were notorious in town, seeing as they were the wealthiest. Somehow, their money got them top spots in every celebrity gossip magazine, and you were in no way except from it.

The idea was ridiculous. You were an adult, standing tall in your twenties, and it wasn’t anyone’s right (especially your parents) to tell you how to live your life. If you wanted to snort coke at a party with fifty of your closest friends, then you were going to. No magazine was going to stop you.

That was how you landed here, on the front porch of a woman that you didn’t even know the name of. Your parents stood in front of you as you waited for her to answer the door, and when she finally did, you hardly bothered looking up from your phone. This wasn’t going to last long, you were sure of it. Your parents wanted you to live on a farm, tending to animals like some kind of slob. They claimed it would “get you in line”, as if your life meant that much to them.

You had several men behind you, shuffling in your number of suitcases as your parents hugged the woman before you and made efforts to catch up. For someone they claimed to have known for so long, you had never heard of the woman, and when you looked up and finally got a good look at her, you only remembered her face from one meager photo on the wall.

She was tall, taller than your father even, and she was packed with pure muscle. The woman was truly intimidating, but you attempted to shrug it off. Maybe you could offer her money in return for not making you work with anything dirty.

“Sevika, we are so grateful for you,” your mother spoke softly, taking her hand and patting it like she was doing some innumerable service to them. “This is our daughter, I don’t think you’ve ever met her,” you stepped forward, still scrolling on your phone as you popped a large bubble of gum. Your mother wacked your arm and you rolled your eyes, turning off your phone.

“‘m Sevika,” she reached a hand out and you looked at it for a moment, noticing every speck of dirt that graced her palm. “Y’r daddy says you’re in need of someone to set you straight, sound about right?” Your dad chuckled and you sighed.

“That’s not exactly how I’d phrase it, pretty sure I’m just living my life as an adult,” you side-eyed him with a glare. “And regardless, none of this is any of your business.” You huffed. To you, it truly wasn’t anyone’s. Your parents' public image didn’t matter to you, you didn’t want any part in it.

Sevika hummed, turning to your dad. “Don’t you worry, boss. I’ll get ‘er in line. Thanks for stoppin’ by, ‘m sure you’ve got a lot to get to.” With a long bunch of final goodbyes, your parents were gone, and you were left alone with a stranger. The idea pissed you off - your parents were tired of dealing with you, and instead of wiping that picture off of the internet, they decided to dump you on a random woman.

“So what exactly will I be doing here?” You said, twirling a piece of hair around your finger as you popped another bubble. “I won’t have to like… clean up animal shit, right? I just got a manicure and I didn’t pay two hundred dollars just to ruin my hands, y’know?” Sevika rolled her eyes.

“You’re gon’ do what I tell you to do. That’s the point of this lil’ apprenticeship. Your bedroom is upstairs on the right. We wake at five, feed the animals, eat, and spend the rest of the day outside.” Your jaw dropped, eyebrows knitting. Sevika could see the piece of gum chewed into your teeth.

“Five in the morning? Why on earth would I get up that early?” You scoffed, pulling your phone out again. You could hardly wait to tell Jinx about this, but halfway through your message, your phone was being snatched from your hands.

“Jus’ because your father let you get away with being a brat don’t mean that I will. This,” she waved your phone around, “is mine now. For the rest of the summer, you work for me, and you work when I work, y’hear me?” You almost wanted to laugh at her. Yeah, this definitely wasn’t going to work.

“Whatever you say, boss,” you popped yet another bubble in her face this time, mocking the title she used for your dad mere minutes ago. “Do you have people who can like, take these up for me?” You looked over at your bags and she laughed at you.

“It don’t work like that out here, darlin. You carry your own things up. Since y’r new, I’ll take one for y’a. But only one.” You groaned, grabbing one of the suitcases as she did and following her upstairs. Compared to your bedroom at home, this room was like a closet. She dropped the luggage on the floor as if it wasn’t a ten thousand dollar handmade pink set.

“Well, where I’m from, we don’t throw expensive things on the ground like animals,” you shot, picking up the suitcase. “This is so not going to work out.” Sevika rolled her eyes, disappearing down the hall for the evening. Thank god you finally got a break from her.

The next morning was like hell. She woke you up bright and early, just like she said she would, and tossed you a disgusting pair of overalls that she instructed you to put on. Not only was the outfit ugly, but she also gave you no time to do your hair and makeup before she was yelling at you to get out the door.

“I’m not touching that,” you pulled your hands back as she handed you a bucket full of god knows what. “That’s disgusting, I already told you-”

“You ain’t breakin’ a nail, I get it. Suck it up and go feed the pigs. It ain’t gonna kill y’a.” You rolled your eyes, still not taking the bucket from her hands.

“No.” Her jaw tightened, and her angry gaze fell upon you. You noticed, then, that her eyes were grey, and they shined. If you didn’t hate her guts already, you would obviously coin that they were gorgeous, like the rest of her. But you hated her guts.

“Listen here, you brat,” her accent got thicker. “I’m not any happier about this than you are. But we’re here, and my job is to set you straight. So man up and go feed the pigs.” You glared, but took the bucket regardless. She rolled her eyes as you stormed off, the heavy bucket weighing you down.

You had to admit, the pigs were quite cute, especially the small ones. But that didn’t outweigh the muck on your hands, or the fact that this jackass woman insisted that you were a brat.

-

Two weeks of absolute torture had gone by. There was no way in hell that you would keep this up, not for the whole summer. You couldn’t even get through a month, let alone four. Not to mention the woman hadn’t even hinted at the idea of giving you a break. You didn’t go out for dinner, didn’t take days off, didn’t go to clubs. It was the worst possible life of a rich city girl.

Sevika was a terrible boss. She was mean and strict and she hated everything about you, you were sure of it. However, the woman was undeniably attractive, in a terrible way. She was mean to you and it made your knees weak, she called you a brat and you thought about her taking the brat out of you. I mean, look at those arms. She could take you whenever and wherever she wanted.

You were sure, though, that this was simply because you hadn’t had sex in three weeks.

“Sev,” you wandered downstairs, crop top and shorts clinging to your body like it was life support. She was on the couch, reading the newspaper in her reading glasses like it was 1983. She looked up, eyes dancing down the curves of your figure before snapping back to her paper. “Are there any local bars? I’m thinking of going out.”

“No and no.” She grumbled. “‘s jus’ gonna land you in the same situation that got you here. You’re not doin’ that.” You sighed. Luckily, contrary to her knowledge, you knew where your phone was, and Google Maps would happily show you local bars.

Without responding, you strolled your way back upstairs, gracefully grabbing your phone and typing in bars. To your dismay, only one came up, but it didn’t matter to you. That was the one you would go to, and the thought of getting drunk gave you a buzz almost better than weed.

You planned it perfectly: Sevika went to bed early, of course, so you could easily sneak out once she was asleep. You didn’t leave your slutty clothes at home, in fact, you filled two suitcases with them, so when the day came, the glittery, pink dress that was far shorter than it should be called your name loudly. It was a v-neck, falling far into the crack of your tits, with a south Asian inspired scarf. You paired it with pink heeled boots, and pink makeup to finish the look. The night was going to be amazing, you could tell just from the outfit.

The plan started well.

Sevika went to bed, as you planned, and you were able to get out with your phone, no less. You called yourself a taxi and got to the bar without a problem, practically welcomed like a queen. You tried to tell yourself that all of the stares and hoots and free drinks were because people knew you and not because all of the old men thought that you were hot, but it was notably the latter.

You loved free drinks, at the end of the day it didn’t matter who they were from or why they were sending them. So, as the shots poured in, you were more than happy to take them, and take them and take them.

Fortunately, some strange men also paid for your food, sobering you up every couple of shots. You didn't want to be drunk when you got home, fearing that it would interrupt Sevika's sleep, and lead to her finding out that you snuck out. So, the random meals and several glasses of water allowed you to maintain a constant state of switching between sober and not sober.

You all but sobered up when the bar doors slammed open, and Sevika appeared in the middle. She came towards you, grabbed your arm, and dragged you off of the barstool. She tossed some cash on the bar and turned towards you, furious. “What the fuck were you thinking?” She hissed, grinding her teeth together.

“Sev,” you groaned, looking around at all the eyes looking at you. “Can we not do this here?” You attempted to pull your arm from her grip with no avail. Instead, she spun the two of you around, pushing you towards the door and out of the bar with the grip still right on your arm.

She didn't release you until the both of you made it into her truck, where she slammed the door in your face and got into the driver's seat. “D’you think about things before you do ‘em? At all?” She roared, pulling out of the bar. “Did you see the way those men looked at you? You coulda gotten yourself in serious trouble.” You rolled your eyes, your favorite thing to do when she was around.

“It’s not your job to police what I do. In fact, I think you’re jealous. At least I have men paying for my drinks. You wish.” She practically cackled at that, and your already lame comeback made you feel even smaller. You were sure Sevika didn’t even like men, especially when you were digging through one of her drawers looking for your phone and stumbled across some interesting magazines.

“If I wanted that, I could have that, and y’know it, peach. This ain’t about me, though. Get your ass in line or I’m tellin’ your daddy to leave you out here, ‘nd you know he will.” The thought of staying here any longer than you had to made you want to tear your hair out. Maybe the thought alone was enough to keep you in line. She pulled into the driveway and turned the car off, turning to you with a sigh. “Don’t do that shit again. ’m not like your parents, ’m not writin’ off y’r dumbass choices.”

“Let me go out then, for the love of god. Drinking won’t kill me.” You turned your attention to your hand, picking at your nail. “Not to mention, I haven’t had sex in weeks. Weeks! I could’ve checked that box tonight and you wouldn’t have had to deal with me like this anymore.” She was clearly unamused, wide lips remaining downturned.

“You’re actin’ the same way now that you do all the time; like a fuckin’ brat. Go inside and go to bed, for god’s sake.” She popped her door open and got out, slamming the door behind her. You waited a moment before following her, still angry from her slew of comments throughout the evening.

“Maybe it’s your fault,” you said when you stepped into the home, “you’re the one who’s mean to me, taking my things, making fun of my clothes. You’re a fucking jackass. I have no reason to listen to you. Full grown adult, remember?” You sneered, gesturing up and down your body.

“I did what I was told. Take a fuckin’ chill pill. I ain’t gon’ stand here arguin’ with you, it’s a waste of time.” She began to walk past you and you grabbed her arm, pulling as hard as you could. She was significantly larger and stronger than you, so you weren’t surprised when your efforts made little difference.

“You don’t get to just walk away in the middle of an important conversation! Stop being a fuckin-” She turned quickly, large body almost caging you against the wall. If you wanted to, it wouldn’t be hard for you to simply go left or right and move away from her. But now, her body was close, and warmth was bouncing between the two of you, and well, the same need from earlier came back.

“Stop.” She demanded, tone low. Her chest rose and fell quickly, as if talking to you was the most taxing thing on this earth. She stood there for more than a moment, eyes drilled into yours with an innate sense of fury. This was her breaking point. She wondered how long it would take when she first met you. You were driving her fucking insane.

“Make me.” You spat, angrily. She almost did. Truly. Well, until you did it for her.

She backed up and you followed her, chasing her heat. Before you knew it, the cotton of her shirt was in your hands and you were clumsily pulling her forward, pressing up on your toes until your mouth was pressed against hers. By some miracle, she didn’t fight it. Her large hands cupped your face, pulling you in and pressed her lips harshly to yours.

She wasted no time before she was running her tongue along your lips and pushing it into your mouth, knees practically weak when you moaned like a fucking slut. She wasn’t especially gentle when she pushed you against the wall behind you, but her tongue down your throat and her knee between your legs made up for it.

Your hands begged to run down her figure, but you weren’t exactly in the position to take control, so you instead placed them around her neck, pulling on the short hair on the back of it. Her hands met your hips, pinning you to the wall so that you wouldn’t grind against her. You pulled back from her lips, meeting her angry eyes once again before dropping your lips to her neck, sucking a dark hickey into it.

“Fuck,” she groaned, “‘course you like trashy shit like this.” she continued as you left several more. Your hands dragged down her front, finding her chest promptly. “Upstairs, now.” She pulled back from you, but you grabbed her hand and pulled her behind you. You had only been in her room briefly to acquire your phone, so the details of it had never been your focus. But now, you focused on the purple color of her sheets and the ambiance of it.

Like a pornstar, you pushed her back onto the bed, slipping your dress over her head and finding purchase in her lap. Her hand ran along your stomach, admiring your body briefly before closing her eyes. “This isn’t right, darlin’. ‘m too mad, and I promised y’r daddy I would get you straight.” You giggled.

“I like mad.” you insisted, tugging your lip between your teeth and grinding your hips into her, urging her to open her eyes. You leaned in, warm breath hitting her ear. “Put me in my place?” You squealed when she lifted you up and flipped you, trapping you under her.

“You ain’t gonna get what you want from this. ‘m gon’ fuck some sense into that pretty head, huh?” You nodded, smiling too wide to focus on anything she was saying. You were a fucking airhead, god, there were so many things she wanted to do to you.

You didn’t have anything but a cheap pair of panties under the dress, meaning that she had spent the last several minutes attempting to focus on anything that wasn’t your tits. But now? Now her mouth was blessing your left nipple, tugging it into her mouth and sucking, pinning you down with a hand on your lower stomach once again. She wanted to fuck the shit out of you, sure, but you weren’t getting what you wanted any time soon.

She switched tits, kneading the other with her palm. As she sucked, her fingers pulled at your nipple, creating the perfect combination of soft and rough. You were moaning like a bitch in heat, and she adored it. You were so fucking easy, letting her in your pants like it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t long before she was kissing her way down to your panties, keeping eye contact with you as she did it. She looked like an animal hunting its prey, and the prey was you. You realized, then, that she had you exactly where she wanted you.

You knew you were in for it when she took a fat lick from the bottom of your cunt to the top, over your panties. You whined, back arching off the bed as your head fell back. She planned to eat you over your panties until you cried and begged for her, but she couldn’t take it. You were soaked through, like floodgates opened between your legs, and she needed you.

She pulled your panties down your legs, pushing your thighs apart until you were fully on display for her. “She’s so pretty, isn’t she?” she mocked, not breaking her gaze on your pussy. She leaned in, hands dropping to the backs of your thighs, and pressed a kiss to your clit. Your hips twitched and you whined again, lacing one of your hands in her hair.

She ate you like the world was ending.

Her tongue blessed all the pretty places that you needed it, flicking against your clit and fucking into you, sucking up every last drop that you had. She loved it, loved the way you moaned and twitched and begged for her to not stop, never stop. You were halfway to your orgasm and she pulled up, looking as if she was in an absolute daze.

“Gon’ make you a housewife, baby. Eat this pussy whenever I want, how’s that sound? Fuck, look at you,” her middle finger circled your entrance, gathering all of her spit and your slick. You sucked her in as she pushed it in knuckle by knuckle, and she swore she blacked out. “Pretty girl just needed the snob fucked out of her, didn’t you?” you could’ve cried when she added another finger, crooking them up into the perfect spot. “Answer me, slut.”

“Yes, yes,” you cried, “please, whenever you want.” She grinned, like this was the best day of her life. With two fingers pumping in you, she kept her mouth busy on your clit, sucking hard until you were quite literally crying, tears streaming down your face as your stomach twisted.

You clenched down hard on her fingers and she pulled them out, stopping everything. You whined, lifting your hips to chase her. “Bad girls don’t get to come. Open,” she tapped your bottom lip and you did as told, taking her wet fingers in your mouth. She couldn’t stand you, couldn’t stand the way you squirmed and pushed your thighs together as you sucked her fingers, knowing that it made you so wet. “Lay across my lap, yeah, good girl.”

Notably, her kind sense of security was short lived once you were across her lap.

“Count. If you stop counting we start over, y’understand?” You nodded, unsure of what was about to happen until her mech hand came in harsh against your left ass cheek. You squeaked, hurling forward and gripping the sheets. “What’d I say, peach? Gonna count or get hit?”

“One,” you whimpered, crying out again when her hand came down on the other side. It felt so good. “Two,” she went back and forth until your ass was beet red, and you got to a sparse ten. You almost asked her to keep going, but with the way your cunt was drooling on her lap, she couldn’t possibly keep going.

“Up,” she instructed, tapping your ass twice. “Face the mirror, ass up, tits down.” You giggled again, knowing exactly what was coming. Doggy was probably your favorite position, but doggy facing a mirror had to be heaven on earth.

By the time you got your shit together enough to do as told, she was already back, pajama pants stripped and harness clinging to her hips. Sevika had the body of a god, truthfully. You had always gotten wet over her arms, but her abs and her hips were nothing less than god-like. All of her was simply perfect.

The strap hanging from the harness wasn’t anything like something you had seen or taken before. It was long and wide, with veins to detail. She had lube in one hand, from what you could see over your shoulder, but you couldn’t see what was in the other. She climbed up on the bed, kneeling behind you as she placed her series of materials down. First, she took your wrists and pinned them behind your back with a pair of silk handcuffs, and then she lubed up her strap until it was ready for you.

Gods, she could’ve come on spot when she teased your entrance with the tip. You moaned like a fucking whore, rocking back into her as your cunt begged. The tip alone had your eyes rolling back in your head, and your state didn’t improve as she continued pushing. “Sev,” you whined, “it won’t fit, ‘s too big,” you cried out, and she laughed at you.

“You’ll make it fit, won’t you, bunny? Yeah, you will.” And, well, you did. The strap hit its hilt, filling you to the absolute brim. Watching your pussy stretch around her dick had to be the best thing she’d ever seen. “Fuck, peach, knew you were trouble but I didn’t think you’d be such a whore, too.” She placed her large palm on your back, pressing down on your shoulder blades so that your back arched as far as it could.

She moved slowly, head thrown back as she listened to the noises you made. Not only were you moaning out of your mind, but your cunt squelched with every thrust, wetting her hips as your skin slapped together. The scene in the mirror was obscene, filthy even. You looked like a whore, jaw slacked and eyes in the back of your head as she plowed into you.

However, it all got dramatically worse when she pulled you up, so that you kneeled in front of her as she fucked you. Her large arm wrapped around your throat, bicep digging into your windpipe. Your hands wrapped around her arm, but in comparison, they were small. She held you like that until your brain got fuzzy, unrelenting in her pace. She used her free hand on your clit, rubbing it just the way you needed.

“Y’r so fuckin’ full, sweet girl. See that in y’r belly? ‘s my dick.” You could see it, the way her strap poked out in your stomach with every thrust of her hips. Filthy. It was the only way to describe it. “God, imagine if I could jus’ have you whenever I wanted you,” her arm loosened around your throat, but instead of pushing you back down, she pressed two fingers into your mouth.

Sevika could hardly deal with the sight of you. She had already come once, most definitely, but the vision of you in front of her could make her come again on command. You were so fucked out, so pliant. So willing to do whatever she wanted. “What’d y’r parents think if they saw you like this, huh? What if I fill you up, get you pregnant?” You could’ve screamed, but a loud whimper was the best she got.

She pulled her fingers from her mouth and bent you back over, grabbing your hips rather than pressing between your shoulder blades. “Please,” you begged, “please get me pregnant,” she threw her head back yet again, orgasm building in her stomach. “Please, please please, fill me up, Vika, please,” she groaned as she came against the back of the harness, hips stuttering and abs flexing.

“Gonna fill you up and make you a mommy, ain’t that right, pretty baby?” You moaned again, too gone for words. Tears streamed down your face as her pace started again, unrelenting yet again. She fucked into you so hard that the bedframe shook, and soon enough, that familiar feeling was developing in your stomach. “‘m gon’ stuff you full of my dick everyday, shit,”

You screamed when you came, and it got a million times better when a warm liquid filled you, making it feel like Sevika had, in fact, filled you up. When she pulled out of you, she almost came again. Your cum and hers dripped from your hole down your cunt, and she watched you twitch and drool into the bedsheets.

She was going to clean you up, of course, but your pussy had her fucking entranced.She knew she was fucked, she knew there wasn’t ever going to be a moment moving forward where she didn’t want you on her face. And now, every time you acted up, she could fuck you into oblivion.

She got you cleaned up and in clean clothes, tucked into her bed with her, head on her chest. “That get you in line?” She joked, brushing hair off of your face.

“I don’t know, maybe we’ll have to go again for good measure.” You teased, pressing your nose into her jaw as your lips found her neck again. You left a couple more hickies on the side of her neck that you didn’t hit earlier and she chuckled.

“Why’d’ya like those so much? Looks a little trashy to me.” You sighed. Of course it did, it was a younger group thing, and she was not in your age range.

“Jus’ makin’ what’s mine.” You giggled. She laughed with you, until you were both laughing. Maybe this arrangement wasn’t going to be as bad as you thought it would be.

tags: @ferxanda @skullsbown @watashiwaglr38 @angelllbabyy @rbnvrnxoxo @sweetnfemme @abbyanderswife @ellieshothousewife @2sosa @averysmorgue @ivorydevil @bunbunpudding @beatdariceee @that-one-daydream-you-forgot @jennylettersonsgf @furrytaesss @sunflowerwinds @ghost-queen101 @prettyyyy-girl

[sparklingchim]

game on | jjk

pairing: jungkook x oc

word count: 2.7k

tropes: footballer!jungkook, fake dating, f2l

rating: pg

warnings: jk is a huge flirt, mentions of jk's past fights in school, lots of hand holding, paparazzi!!!, mentions of jk's flings 🫢, they love to bicker <3

summary: your fake relationship goes public - cue the unexpected butterflies.

a/n: she's finally back !!!! n i rlly hope u like it 😋

masterlist

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

So many nights spent wondering about the future, but you never imagined yourself in this scenario.

“I can see someone across the street.”

“That’s good – that's perfect.” Jungkook doesn’t even look back to catch a glimpse of what’s happening outside when he says, “Let them get their little shots. We’ll pretend we don’t notice.” He leans closer, elbows on the table. A grin lights his eyes. “Maybe we can even start the show right here.”

Jungkook begins to play with your fingers, gently tracing his fingertips along yours. Slowly, he lifts your hand, your elbow grazing the edge of the table, and links your fingers with his in the air.

You hesitantly mimic his smile. “Sure you don’t wanna switch paths and become an actor?”

“Hmm, maybe in my next life,” he ponders. “But only if you’re the co-star.”

“Can’t even leave me alone in our next life? I’d categorise that as obsessive behaviour, Jungkook.”

Kind of like the way most people in this café are obsessively watching you two.

The plan is simple: sit in a café with Jungkook, pretend you’re lost in your own little world, play the part of a love-struck couple – and wait. Wait until people become suspicious that this isn’t just another casual lunch between childhood friends, but that maybe there’s something more. Wait until a few more onlookers gather outside, cameras ready, eager to capture the moment your friendship seems to blur into something else.

“That’s just how a boyfriend would act, no? Be obsessed with his girl.”

“I guess? No one’s ever been obsessed with me.”

“Wasn’t Junwoo?”

You sigh deeply at the mention of your high-school ex-boyfriend. “Yeah, after I broke up with him.” If a two-month thing even qualifies as a relationship.

“Should’ve let me punch that fucker for treating you that way, seriously.” He says it with such contempt dripping from his voice, you’d think this happened recently and not nearly three years ago.

When Junwoo and you got official and had your first time, suddenly that’s all he was interested in. No more fun dates or random calls just to talk. Just a guy who liked the idea of you more than actually spending time with you. And once you called him out on it, he pretended it wasn’t true at all and tried to win you back with cute letters, random gifts or cringey apologies over voice notes.

“You got into trouble for that way too many times,” you remind him pointedly.

Whether it was for the sake of protecting you or losing his temper on the field – Jungkook had squared up to other guys more times than you could count. And still continues to do so on the field. Boys.

Jungkook’s sweet, charming, total golden retriever, until you piss him off.

“Ah, I really miss it,” Jungkook mumbles, wistfully brushing his thumb over your skin.

“Fighting?”

“No, just school in general. It was a silly time back then.”

“Don’t remind me. Life was so carefree.”

“Was it really for you, though?” Jungkook asks, tilting his head like he already knows the answer. “You were, and still are, a study maniac. Dragged me to the library so many times.” Jungkook rolls his eyes at the memory of the times you’ve spent in the library to study for exams and you nearly swat his arm for that.

You were stressed out and trying to survive under all the pressure of acing your exams. He was there for the vibes. You hunched over textbooks with color-coded tabs, he sprawled across the seat next to you, nearly falling asleep from boredom. Jungkook used to doodle on your notes while you crammed for midterms. At the time, it drove you up the wall. You’d flick his pen away, scold him for distracting you, threaten to ban him from ever coming again.

He always came anyway. And you always let him.

Now, whenever you’re studying – whether alone or with a study group – you catch yourself having memories popping up in your mind of Jungkook sitting next to you, twirling a pen, asking dumb questions like do you think mitochondria ever get tired of being the powerhouse?

You don’t miss the stress of high school. God, no. But you do miss that. Him in those moments. The silly distractions. The way he annoyed you so much it looped around into comfort.

“And you got us kicked out so many times,” you argue. “I get your hatred for studying, but you were doing too much.”

Jungkook shrugs, unbothered. “I did the best I could, honestly.”

Right then, the waitress appears with your drinks. Two iced americanos, his with an extra shot, yours with oat milk. She places them on the table with a polite smile before vanishing again. Jungkook thanks her absently, stirring his coffee with the paper straw.

“Kinda wish we could go back for a day. Just one,” he says, eyes fixed on the swirling coffee. “Walk the halls, eat lunch together, annoy each other in class.”

“You just want to relive the time you sneaked off with Hyejin and made out behind the gym hall.” You sip on your drink, eyeing him.

Jungkook nearly chokes on his coffee. “You know what, I wouldn’t say no to that,” he replies, a sly smirk forming on his face. But then he recoils dramatically. “No, ___. How dare you say that when we’re on a date? I don’t wanna go back in time to kiss other girls.”

You quirk your eyebrow, but he doesn’t budge from that statement. "You just said you wouldn’t say no.”

“Slip of the tongue.” He waves it off. “I’m – we’re still new to this,” he adds, eyes wide with mock innocence. “But I’m fully reformed now. Monogamous. Loyal. Emotionally available.”

“Oh wow. All three?”

“All three.” He nods solemnly. “All for you.” Jungkook leans closer, conspiratorially. “Do you wanna sneak off and kiss behind the building?” he teases, voice dropping the tiniest bit. A soft, short chuckle escapes him like he’s proud of his flirty jab.

You can’t help the smile tugging at your lips. “You wish.”

He sips on his drink, sparkling eyes trained on you. “Should we really, though?” he asks more seriously. “Maybe not in the back of the café but my car or something?”

“I don’t know. Is hand holding enough? Did Taesung tell you something about a kiss?”

“Lemme just ask him.”

Jungkook lets go of your hand. He grabs his phone and types.

You squint suspiciously. “What did you text him?”

Without a hint of shame, he flips the screen around.

should we kiss?

You nearly laugh. What an unprofessional, unhinged text message to your manager. But then you catch sight of his grin behind his phone – that wide, dimpled, full-teeth kind of grin that makes him look way too pleased with himself – and annoyance melts away.

“You’re so lucky he puts up with your shit.”

“I just add a little fun to his job. He needs it.” His phone pings. He reads the message aloud. “He said it’s not necessary. Do what you’re comfortable with.”

Suddenly, worry tightens your chest. “Do you think they’ll follow us? To your car?” you ask, voice low as your eyes flick to the café window, though you force yourself not to actually look.

“They’ll keep their distance,” Jungkook says calmly.

Your worry turns out to be nothing more than a fleeting flicker. Here one second, gone the next. Especially when he gives your hand a reassuring squeeze.

“I told you not to stress over these things. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I can’t stop the worrying.” You tap a finger to your temple. “This thing won’t shut up.”

“It doesn’t have to work when I’m around.”

“I believe you when we survive the day.”

“Yah,” Jungkook breathes out affronted, his shoulders sagging dramatically like you just wounded him. “Do I not take care of you?” he pouts, the expression softening every line of his face.

“I’m just joking,” you giggle, nudging his foot under the table with yours. “Don’t be upset.”

Jungkook crosses his arms, lips still pursed in that exaggerated pout. “I’m not upset,” he says, clearly upset. Or pretending to be. His foot nudges yours back, a petty little kick that barely has any force behind it.

“Thank you for risking your life in public with me,” you try, waiting for his reaction.

“Risking my life is crazy, no?” he says, drinking his coffee. “We’re just having overpriced americanos.”

“So you do still know the value of money and have a concept of what’s normal. We haven’t completely lost you yet.”

“Yeah, what can I say. I’m still grounded.”

“You’re paying a monthly fee for a dog-walking app, and you don’t even have a dog. I don’t think that’s exactly grounded.”

“I just like to know what’s going on in the dog community. Sue me.”

“That’s called being rich,” you shoot back, lifting your drink. “Meanwhile, I was checking my bank app before I said yes to this fake date.”

“You wound me again.” A disappointed sigh slips past his mouth as he slouches back in his seat. “It’s those boys you hang out with at university, isn’t it?” he asks, shaking his head slowly, dramatically. “Feeding you cafeteria food and making you split Ubers.” He tuts, tongue clicking. “You’ve been through so much.”

Jungkook is ridiculous. But he also has a point.

“Maybe this fake dating situation won’t be only beneficial for me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll show you how a man treats his girl properly.” He leans forward slightly.

“You don’t even date.” And yet, throughout your friendship, he still manages to do better than half the boys you’ve talked to.

“Exactly.” He shrugs like it proves something. “And I’m still ahead of the curve.” On a more serious note, he adds, “It’s not that hard to not be weird.”

“Low bar, huh.”

“Painfully low.” Jungkook winks at you. “But I’ll raise it for you. Temporarily.”

“Until you send me off to the college boys?”

“The finance bros you’ve been collecting?” At least Jungkook has the decency to try and hide the smile that threatens to break across his face, but it’s a miserable attempt.

“It was one date,” you groan, slumping back in your chair. “Will you ever stop annoying me about it?”

“I fear I can’t.” He reaches out, fingers brushing yours before he gently takes your hand. He gives a light tug, coaxing you to lean forward again, and you do. “How long did it take him to bring up crypto again?” Your fingers end up loosely threaded with his, resting on the table. The contact makes the teasing a little less annoying.

“I think he made it a whole five minutes before he went into a deep dive of explaining cryptocurrency to me.” You swirl your straw in slow, disappointed circles. Whoever started the myth of meeting the love of your life at university is a big, fat liar. Or maybe just works in admissions. And definitely deserves jail time.

“Wow.” Jungkook nods impressed. “Do you want a moment of silence for your brain cells?”

“I’m surrounded by idiots. I’m used to it.”

“You’re a med student. How does that work?”

“Men. Lots of emotionally unintelligent men.”

“But now you have me!” Jungkook exclaims, eyes big and sparkly. He squeezes your hand as he triumphantly holds them up a little. “Isn’t that fun?”

You laugh at his silly antics. “It’s an upgrade, for sure.”

Jungkook drinks up your words with a huge smile. “I’m so honoured. You’re, like, the smartest girl I’ve ever had.” he says. “I won’t disappoint you.”

“Do you even know anything about the girls you’ve been with?”

“They’re pretty?” he answers hesitantly. “And they have amazing taste.”

“Finish your drink before I throw up, please.”

“Wanna end our date already?”

“Didn’t you want to head to the gym after this?” You take a final sip of your coffee, pushing the empty glass away from you.

“I can cancel.”

“For me?”

“For us.”

“All it took for you to spend more time with me is fake date you?”

“Says you,” he shoots back. “The one who always bails on me because she has to study.” He mimics your voice when he says it and does a terrible job at that. It’s awful, but he still manages to pull a little laugh from you.

“Speaking of,” you say, glancing at the time. “I actually have a study date in an hour. So I don’t have time to hang that long.”

“This relationship’s doomed to fail,” he says flatly.

You gasp. “Excuse me?”

“Fully admitting to going on another date during our first date?”

“A study date,” you clarify, rolling your eyes at his theatrics. “With my study buddy.”

“Side chick, you mean.”

“I should accuse you of that, not the other way around.”

“Doubting my loyalty already, I see.” Jungkook taps his fingers against his glass. “I told you, I’m a brand-new man. I’ve got the big three now.” He raises a finger for each one: “Loyal. Monogamous. Emotionally available.”

“I truly love that for you, Jungkook. Growth looks good on you. But I still need to study.”

Jungkook finishes his coffee, sighing when he places his glass on the table. “Lets go then.” But then suddenly he goes, “Hold on – what would you rate this date? One to ten.”

You ponder. “Like, maybe a seven?”

“Seven? Damn.” Jungkook exclaims. “What are you deducting three points for?” He tilts his head with a genuine confused pout.

“It was a cute date. Conversation was fun, good banter but...” You trail off, thinking. Jungkook raises his eyebrows expectantly. “The butterflies were missing.”

He scoffs. “I can give you lots of butterflies if you let me.”

“Don’t make me deduct more points,” you warn, unfazed.

“Ah, okay.” He bows his head in apology, muttering, “I’ll do better next time.”

You giggle, comforting him with small pats on his head. “Don’t feel too burdened. I really liked it.”

~

Leaving the cafe hand in hand, a shy smile playing on your lips, you walk beside Jungkook towards his car. Your shoulders are tense, awareness prickling at your skin as you feel the distant hums of cameras capturing every step.

You try to play it cool, telling yourself that this isn’t different from any other day, but the little waves of anxiety still roll through you.

Jungkook seems unfazed. When you glance at him, he’s already looking at you, the edge of his mouth curved upward. He pulls you closer, his body shifting ever so slightly to shield you from curious eyes.

Once you reach his black Bugatti tucked away in a quiet street, he opens the door for you, his hand brushing lightly against your back as you slide in.

He rounds the car and settles in beside you.

“You okay?” he asks softly.

You nod. “Are you?”

Concern flickers over his face. “Yeah, as long as you are okay.”

“No, I am. Really. Just worried that they would be more annoying about following us, but it’s all good.”

“They know better.”

“Think we did good?” You turn your body a little towards him as he starts the car.

“Of course we did,” he replies. “You looked like you were seconds away from falling in love with me. Got excited for a sec.”

“Delusional and confident.”

Jungkook checks the rearview mirror, his gaze flickering over the street behind you. “They’re probably still around.”

“You think?”

“Probably. But let them look. We are kinda adorable.”

You huff out a laugh. “You’re not wrong.”

Jungkook’s fingers rest lazily on the steering wheel. He turns his head to you again, eyes twinkling like he’s had an idea.

“Maybe we could do a bit better?”

“Better how?”

He leans a little closer, his cologne wrapping around you. His voice drops slightly when he says, “Come here.”

Jungkook cups your cheek, gently guiding you towards him. You lean into it without a second thought. Your eyes fall close, and you wait, expecting him to kiss you just like you had practised it at your place, but you don’t feel the gentle touch of his lips against your mouth.

Instead, you feel him press a slow, lingering kiss to your forehead.

Your chest stirs at his unexpected move.

There they are.

Butterflies.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

a little extra from me to u 😋:

[understrangeforbiddenskies]

+ .✦ i need your love so bad

abby anderson x fem reader

↣ took a little scroll through the abby tag and noticed almost no fluff so i'm filling that void with girlfriend!abby headcanons hehe

*+:｡.｡ warnings / kissing, established relationship, very self indulgent oops, ow*n

𝄞 need your love so bad - fleetwood mac

author's note: this is my first tlou fic pls dont kill me if it sucks

+ you were definitely the first girl abby ever dated. the only other experience with dating she had was ow*n... so you obviously had to swoop in and show her what she was missing out on.

+ i know deep in my heart and soul that abby would hold your face when she kissed you. not your waist, or your neck, or your back. no. she would genty cradle your face, studying your features before leaning in and pressing her soft lips against yours.

+ she gives the BEST bear hugs ever, especially after a long patrol. she'll sneak into your room and just collapse against you, one arm wrapped tightly around your middle while the other cradled your head.

+ it's literally canon that abby smells of pine and every time i remember that all i can think of is cuddling with her after she showers while you both ramble to each other about anything and everything.

+ you read to each other!!! as a huge bookworm, i love the idea of just cozying up with abby in the library as she reads to you and vice versa. sometimes you'll both end up falling asleep halfway through a chapter only for manny to find you both way later.

+ adding onto that, you'd find literally any excuse to listen to her voice. whether that would be asking her questions about patrol, books, working out, etc. she's too oblivious to realise you aren't even paying attention half the time.

+ she would remember even the littlest of things about you. it can range from your favourite book to the colour of your socks on monday. she has an insanely good memory but only when it comes to you.

+ unpopular opinion but i don't think abby would work out with you. hear me out on this; i think she would prefer to have some alone time and what other place to do that than the gym! it's nothing against you, it's just that she likes to focus on working out.

+ if you offered to braid her hair when you just started dating, i think she would say no but at least let you brush it. however, once you two were together for a good while, it felt like second nature to come up to you, hairbrush in hand, with a knowing smile on her face.

+ you would play with her hair any chance you could. sometimes she would fall asleep with her head in your lap and you'd slowly untangle the braid she had in, raking your fingers through her hair as a way to soothe yourself.

+ the way abby looks at you makes you swoon every. damn. time. it could be during patrol, when you read to her, or even when you're eating. she looks at you with so much love. every time you catch her eyes you feel butterflies in your stomach.

+ i think abby would be very comfortable saying 'i love you'. she would prefer say how she feels rather than show you. it's important you hear the words so they can be engraved in your mind.

+ abby is scary. she has huge muscles, she's one of the best soldiers, and people who go on patrol with her know what she is capable of. it's only natural that people started treating you with more respect when you two got together.

+ if she heard anyone talking badly about you or gossipping she would shut it down immediately. there's literally a part of the game where she goes around humbling the fuck out of people for talking about ow*n. so yes, best believe she's doing that for you too.

bonus:

+ i LUV the wlf!nurse x abby anderson fics so here's something about that; she would spot the smallest cut on her arm after patrol and her first instinct would be to see you. you'd laugh at how silly it was while you cleaned the wound, not realising abby was only here to see you.

[mintmatcha]

cw: death

Everything in your house is the same as it ever was. All of your dishes are stacked in the sink, your mail is piled on the hall, the floors need a good polish: Sero kicks off his shoes and quietly observes it all, soaking in the familiarity.

Because the second he sees you, things will no longer be normal.

The usual was thrown out the window months ago, when you strolled up to his apartment and announced you were dying.

"Terminal," you had said. "Less than a year, probably."

Neither one of you had cried in that moment. Nothing had been tangible yet. He thinks, maybe, he had even laughed at the thought. The idea of his longest friendship ending so abruptly, so early felt impossible.

Today, as Sero walks into your living room, it's real.

From your indent on the couch, it takes a moment for you to even process he's entered the room. You full body jump, scrambling to grab the television remote.

"Oh-" you throw a hand over your heart. "You can't scare me like that."

Sero cackles as he leans against the wall. A rerun of your least favorite show is playing. Turns out, even when your time is limited, you still like hate watching things.

"Did you think I was that fox again?" Sero asks and you gasp indignantly.

"Oh my--" You toss your hands up in the air with an insulted scoff. "I swear to god that actually happened. Cross my heart!"

The animation returns to your face when you laugh. It makes Sero's heart ache to see that you haven't faded, even as your body goes.

"I told you. I literally left my front door open to take out the trash and I turn around-" Sero's heard this story at least a fozen times, but he nods along like it's new. "That fox was in my doorway! Just looking at me like-"

Your eyes widen and bulge. It's a familiar lyrics good for impression, Sero thinks. He can picture it's red eyes boring into his.

"It just watched me and I watched it watching me. Then it turned around and calmly walked away, like it was no big deal." The spike of energy in your voice is fading. You settle back into the couch with a placid look, watching him with a passive interest.

Sero strolls over and joins you on the couch. You move your legs to give him room, but he pulls them back over his lap.

"You're so full of shit," he says. "I've lived in this city my whole life and I've never seen a fox."

The smile on your face splits wider. The two of you sit with it for a long while, watching the subtitles on the television flip by. Sero keeps his hands on your ankles, squeezing them as if it's a shape he needs to remember.

What are the things he should be holding on to now? Should he be having grand conversation with you, something kind of final, impossible talk that's going to make the inevitable easier?

"When I die-" you say suddenly. "I'm coming back as a fox and I'm going to sneak into your house."

"Really?" Sero asks. He's no longer playful, just genuine. "You're gonna be a fox?"

You shrug with one shoulder, never looking away from the screen. It's getting close, he thinks. There's nothing he can truly pinpoint, but there's something about you that's slipping away.

"Yeah, why not?" you muse. "There are worse lives."

"Okay." He squeezes your ankles again. "I'll keep an eye out for you."

Sero considers saying that he loves you, or that he can't imagine the world without you, or that the grief he's already carrying feels so ridiculous because you're still here, still in reach but all of it feels unfair to say. Instead, he holds it in until the corners of his eyes burn and his breathing hiccups.

"Or maybe an oarfish," you say. "That'd be sick."

Sero palms away his tears. "You just wanna play Animal Crossing."

"Busted." You crack a smile. "Can you grab another carton of ice cream for me? The last one melted."

Yesterday's container is half full and completely melted, sitting on your coffee table, but Sero gets up anyway. He tosses you your switch, then strolls to the kitchen.

"You can't just eat garbage, you know," he calls back. "It'll kill you."

Your guffaw rings throughout the whole apartment. "I'll eat garbage all I want."

.

It's three weeks later when he passes your place again. A big, red sign is in the window declaring it's for sale. Your parents had placed your furniture on the curb and the neighbors had already claimed all of the pieces, including your misshapen couch. Sero knows there is no piece of you in any of those items, but it feels cathartic, like spreading your ashes across the street.

There's one trash bag on the curb, filled with things your family didn't want. He wonders if you threw out your vibrator before you died, or if it's in that black bag, fully charged, never to be used again. An animal is picking at the plastic, rustling at the plastic.

"Pst," Sero calls out to scare it away. "Scat-"

A head peeks up and he catches red eyes, wide and bulged, boring into his. A fox, with bits of garbage stuck to its muzzle. It regards him for a long while, watching him watching it.

"Hey," he says. "You're supposed to be at my apartment, not yours."

The animal doesn't blink.

"I'll-" A wave of sorrow hits all at once. Every tear he didn't shed, every joke he didn't tell or story he didn't share, every little moment that'll never happen. It hits like a train, right into his forehead. It's the calm kind of cry, the one without gasps or sobs, but an abnormal amount of tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I'll keep the door open for you, okay?" he whispers. "Just visit soon."

The fox turns and lopes off into the dusk.

[lo1k-diamonds]

Make It Right 💜 Part 1

Would you do anything different if you could?

PAIRING: Idol!Jungkook x (f) Reader

SUMMARY: After the last concert in Busan, Jungkook decides to stay at his parents' and make the best of that pause. He never dreamed he would have the chance to meet you again, but now that he has, he won't give up. This is his chance to make things right.

WORD COUNT: 13.6k

GENRE: Idol AU, childhood friends to lovers, reunions, angst

RATING: Explicit

WARNINGS: arguing, resentment, JK said stupid things as a teenager, heartache, angst, semi-public mutual masturbation, nipple play, dry humping, fingering, handjob, cum eating, reader calls Jungkook by his actual name (Jeongguk), reader has a nickname

A.N. I have so much to say!!! First, thank you so much for 1k followers 🙏💜 To think that there are one thousand people in this world who like my stories makes me very emotional, it's crazy, and I'm incredibly touched and grateful for all the positive interactions and love for my stories! A fun fact about this story is that I had the idea for it the day of the Yet To Come concert 🥲😅 Oh yes, am I late or what 🤣 It's been years and I miss them so... I think I needed to write this even more. I really like the dynamic in this fic... Try not to fall in love with JK ;) This is my entry for Bangtan Writers HQ's Second Quarter 2025 event: ‘Home Is Where The Heart Is’, and a huge thank you to @downbad4yoongi Jasz for helping me fine-tune this one 💜 Now before you reach the end, remember there will be a part 2 😇 Enjoy 💜

(Thank you @eerieedits for the cool banner 💜)

Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad | Part 2 >

Jungkook woke up with a groan, hugging the pillow under him. Its perfume made him smile instantly, but his toes touching the footboard made him grin.

He rolled over, instantly sensing he was just on the edge of his childhood bed. Opening his eyes, he stayed still as the daylight scarcely lit up the room and just looked around. There were toys and medals on the shelves alongside children’s books and photos of him as a baby and a kid. The small desk in the corner was just as he remembered, prepared for him to do his homework. The fact that his legs wouldn’t fit under it anymore made him chuckle and sit up.

His parents were rarely loud in the morning, even when he was a child. Still, it wasn’t every day that he crashed here with no plans to leave immediately after. Actually, he realized that this hadn’t happened in twelve years, give or take. He sighed, listening to his mother’s muffled voice as she spoke with someone outside.

His curiosity got him out of bed, taking a peek out of the window through a narrow gap between the heavy light-blue curtains. Instantly, pure delight curved his lips as he saw the neighbour in the garden. Twelve years may have passed, but nothing changed.

He found the closest pair of sweats and a t-shirt and got dressed in a flash, making his way downstairs. He could still hear his mother talking to the neighbor as he pushed the front door open quietly, hoping he’d get outside before the conversation ended.

He knew he succeeded when the neighbor gasped, “Aigoo, Jungkook! You’re so grown up!”

“Imo-nim!” He exclaimed brazenly, making his mother sigh and try to snipe him once he was out the door with slippers. “You’re visiting today?”

The woman, his mother’s age, laughed happily, bowing her head to his deep, full body bows while his mother whispered, “You’re no longer a child!”

“Nobody else calls me that!” She laughed, quickly telling his mother, “It’s fine! If not him, then who? It’s so good to see you, your mother is so happy to have her baby boy home.”

Jungkook grinned at his mother, who easily pouted, then turned to the neighbor again. “As soon as I heard you two talking, I knew I was home.”

His mother smacked his arm playfully while the neighbor, who was his mother’s lifelong best friend, laughed again.

“He is as charming as he is on TV!”

He bowed again, his smile lingering, and promptly let his mother continue their conversation about his visit.

“Oh, and I saw the concert on TV! Soooo cool,” she gave him a thumbs up as she went on about all of BTS looking so great in concert. “Putting Busan on the map for the whole country! I told your mother we’re all so proud of you! Now, on to the military, right? Tough, but an important duty.”

Jungkook’s smile held as he nodded, letting his mind wander. Not that he felt ready to go on to the military right away, especially after just announcing BTS’s hiatus.

Before he could gently tell her that, her phone rang. As her friend was distracted, his mother made sure to brush his hair out of his eyes properly.

“You just woke up? You haven’t even showered? Or ate?” Her tone and demeanor were just as sweet and caring as always. “Just so you know your father went to get more meat; can’t have you starving while you’re home. Maybe you should go back inside? We don’t want people to find out where you are.”

He quickly hugged his mom and squeezed her gently, lifting her so her feet wouldn’t touch the ground for a second. “It’s fine. I want to be here without worries for just a little bit.”

“Ahhh,” the neighbor interrupted them, putting the phone back inside her handbag. “Mimi is here to pick me up.”

“Mimi?” he asked out loud before he could help himself. He hadn’t heard that name in a long time.

“Yeah, that’s right,” she smiled. “Do you remember her?”

“Of course, I do,” he confirmed quietly.

“Come say hi, then!”

She left his mother’s garden and made her way to the main road at the end of the driveway. Jungkook was frozen for a moment, but his mother beckoned him to follow along, and finally, his feet began to move. She probably didn’t mean you, even though that was your nickname and—

It was like a dream when he saw you getting out of the car. Your face had all the telltale signs that you were forced to personally get your mother if you wanted to have any chances of leaving with her today, and the way his mother greeted you made it even more apparent.

“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting, Mimi!”

Jungkook’s stomach somersaulted. Mimi. The name he gave you because he couldn’t pronounce your name right when you were kids. And now, you were right there with long, luscious hair falling over your shoulders, and dressed in dark blue professional attire that made him wonder where you were going.

“It’s alright, Mrs Jeon. I already know the drill,” you said after you gave your cheerful mother a look. Then you bowed deeply, respectfully, and he kept waiting, anticipating the moment your eyes would meet. “We’re going to be late,” you said as you raised an eyebrow at your mother.

“Oh, come on,” your mother insisted playfully. “Don’t you want to say hi?”

“I’m sorry, Mrs Jeon,” you bowed deeply by the waist again. “But we’ll be late.”

You didn’t look at him, not once. You got back inside your car, and your mother quickly followed you after apologizing for the rush, and then you were gone. Like a mirage, like a product of his wildest imagination. And he stood there in silence, watching you disappear. 

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” his mother commented, next to him. He nodded.

“Jungkook, stay with Mimi, okay?”

Jungkook looked up at his mom and nodded, staying next to you while she figured things out at the counter. He was so excited, he couldn’t stop grinning. The sounds of the pins being knocked down, the bowling balls rolling along, and the music made it the best birthday party ever!

He could already see most of his classmates arriving, and so could you. Yet unlike him, you pursed your lips in an angry pout.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, confused about why you’d be angry. You had given him the idea and even helped him convince his mom.

You looked at him with watery eyes, your short hair cut just above them, much like his own hair. “The whole class is here.”

“Isn’t it cool?!” He wanted to jump around and go crazy, but when he looked at you, you looked sad. “What?”

“Well… Youngsook and Seohyeon said the prettiest girl and the most handsome boy in class should date.”

His face twisted in all sorts of ways. “What?”

“They mean you,” you pointed out, teary-eyed, and he laughed.

“What are you talking about?” 

“Jungkook, Mimi, come,” his mother called, reaching to grab his hand, and he impulsively started pulling her, eager to get his birthday party started as soon as possible.

Yet suddenly, his heart felt heavy. He forced himself to stay still and look beyond his mother, trying to see you, but you were looking away, out of reach.

Jungkook woke up with a start, pushing the covers away and spreading his legs to cool off as much as possible. His feet dangled from his childhood bed as he took deep breaths, annoyed that he was sweating.

His chest was suddenly filled with feelings he had long thought forgotten alongside memories he didn’t even know he was still holding on to.

He closed his eyes; he remembered that birthday party. It was an amazing celebration; he seldom had as much fun as when he turned thirteen. That was his last party in Busan before leaving for Seoul, when everything changed.

He rubbed his eyes and got up, finding a set of clothes and a bucket hat so he could go out. His phone showed him it was 00:47, but he didn’t care. He needed a bit of air, and walking around in the neighbourhood he grew up in had to be safe. He needed to believe he still had that piece of normalcy in his life.

He walked down the illuminated suburban street calmly. For the first time in over a decade, he had time. He could slow down, go down memory lane, and recall the streets he used to bike or walk almost every day. He could finally think about seeing you for the first time in over a decade.

It had to be why he was dreaming of you. Though perhaps it wasn’t the only reason. He sometimes dreamed of you when he was really stressed, and paradoxically, this time, you were the cause of his stress. Why wouldn’t you even look at him? He could understand you had lost touch, many years had gone by, and you didn’t have to be best of friends again. But still. Your moms were still the closest friends, and your families were neighbours. The least you could have done was say hi. Or let him see the recognition in your eyes after so many years.

He chuckled when he saw a familiar playground on the street corner. He strolled idly in its direction and instantly made his way to the swings. Both your moms knew a lot about their children, but he doubted that even they knew you two sneaked out after bedtime to meet there, especially during school breaks. He sat on the swing, letting the quiet night soothe him. It was the only time you had, between school and cram schools, to play a bit and talk. Jungkook didn’t remember most of it, but at least it gave his heart a fuzzy feeling.

Before he could reminisce further, he heard a quiet noise and turned on the swing to check. Everything looked empty until suddenly he heard rustling and saw someone crawling out of the nearby tunnel.

“You’re kidding,” you grumbled, getting up, and he paused.

Not only were you hiding in the place that both of you used to hide in, but you looked… different. Your hair was still over your shoulders, but now you were wearing a sweater and sweatpants, much like his, in the same black color, but a different brand. For a split second, he thought he caught your eyes, but they instantly dodged to the side. It made him miss the first beat, but not a second one.

He got up, eager to take this opportunity, and bowed as respectfully as he could at the waist. Instead of bowing back, you huffed, and the first thing he noticed when he straightened up was that you weren’t just avoiding looking at him. You didn’t want to acknowledge him.

“I’m leaving first.”

“No, wait.” He was firm, unlike when he had seen you earlier. The more this distance was confirmed between you, the more he needed to get to the bottom of it. “How are you?”

He could see the way your jawline sharpened as you said, “Are you going to take off that stupid hat?”

His fingers moved automatically, taking off the bucket hat and running through his hair. And finally, he was able to lock eyes with yours. You didn’t just look incredible, you looked breath-taking, like nothing his imagination could have made up. Your cheekbones were more defined, your lips fuller, your eyes…

He got lost for a moment until you looked away. 

“How are you?” he asked again, unable to give up.

You licked your lips. “Good, and you?”

He smiled. “Good. I missed this.”

He raised his hand, meaning to include everything, the streets, the park, the quiet, the night, you… And you bristled.

“Well, then.” Your curt head nod was enough for him to know you wanted to leave, but he had to push for more.

“Wait. It’s been so long, I—I can’t help being curious. How have you been? What have you been up to?”

You shrugged slightly. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”

Your eyes weren’t letting him see anything, and everything about you exuded stoicism. He couldn’t help but chuckle “You’re not going to tell me? Is it a secret?”

“I can’t imagine why you’d need my credentials.”

“Credentials? I’m just curious about an old friend.”

“If you’re curious, you can ask your mom.” Your shoulders squared as you crossed your arms over your chest. “She knows about as much as mine does.”

His brow furrowed. “Well… I have asked, of course. But I want to hear from you.”

“I have nothing to tell you,” you stated, bowing curtly and spinning around to leave.

“This isn’t right,” he voiced his thoughts out loud, and didn’t even expect you to turn back to look at him, but you did. “You’re treating me worse than you would a stranger.”

You didn’t have to answer; rolling your eyes was enough.

“Why?” he asked more sternly.

“I just don’t want anything to do with you.”

“What?” He couldn’t believe his ears. “Why?”

“Because.”

His expression sombered. “What did I ever do to you?”

“Why do you think you did something?” Your arms crossed over your chest again.

“Call it a hunch.”

Jungkook didn’t imagine something like this would ever happen. He wasn’t just back home, retracing the steps of his childhood; he was reuniting with you. Facing you, confronting you, more like. His heart thumped, like it did when he was waiting to get on stage, eager but no longer restless. Like he wanted to do his best, and he was ready. And facing your harsh stare, he realized that was precisely what this was. Because one thing was to have lost you to time, another was to find out you hated him, and he didn’t even know why.

You scoffed, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. “I don’t see why you’d care.”

“I’m here, asking you.”

“Right, missing this. Well, then, do what you have to do and leave.”

“Is it hard seeing me or something?” He stepped forward, and you didn’t flinch. 

“Pretending you care? Yeah, it’s hard!”

“Pretending? I’m not—”

You rolled your eyes again, cutting him off, “You show up here after how many years, saying you miss this?”

“It’s been twelve years since—”

“Twelve! Well, forgive me for calling you out on your bullshit. If you want to be pampered, ask literally anyone else.”

“I’m not asking to be pampered, and there's no one else here,” he pointed out, now so close to you that he could finally see the freckles on your nose. It made his stomach flutter. “Why would you doubt I miss this? You, of all people?”

Your eyes widened suddenly as though you were about to explode, but then you subsided. “Yeah, me. Of all people, I would know that it's bullshit.”

A spark of anger took over the flutters in his stomach. “How can you say that?”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, give me a break. Do you hear yourself? Perhaps you're so used to the sound of your voice that you forgot to think about what you're saying.” His eyes were sharp now as the anger you stirred up spread through his chest. “Maybe everyone else is so charmed by your face that you can never be wrong. Well, I'm here to tell you to your face that coming back here, pretending you give a fuck is comical at best, and hypocrisy at worst. So do what you have to do and leave.”

He could see the anger in your eyes, and he was starting to share the same feeling. And yet, it was just that. After seeing the spark in your gaze, the firmness of your belief, and finding you in your special hiding place, the way you thought he was self-centered and narcissistic didn't even bother him. Of course, he didn't want you to feel that way about him. He was eager to change your mind, but he was so happy you two were talking that he kinda just wanted to smile and hug you and ask so many questions.

He couldn’t, though. “Good,” he muttered. “Good that you're here to tell me to my face why you'd think this way.”

Your cheeks gained the lightest hue, and he licked his lip ring.

“Usually, people's words match their actions,” you said. “That's how you get them to believe you.”

“And mine don't?”

“No, they don't.”

You lowered your eyes, and he couldn’t let it end there. “How do you know?” You scoffed, and he insisted, “How would you know how I feel? Or how much I missed this place? Or how many times I came here in the middle of the night instead of sleeping, despite how packed my schedule was, just because I missed all of this.”

His heart shook with the words out of his mouth, only to be met with your angry expression. “I would have known.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” you stated, sure of yourself.

“You live in this park, do you?”

You sneered, “I would have seen you. Crossed paths with you. Heard that you were in town or—”

“My mom doesn't know half the time when I'm going to visit, since I don't know it myself,” he explained. “So, unless you live here, how would you know—”

“Oh, shut up!” you snapped angrily. “You were never here and you never cared!”

“Why would you say that?!”

“Because you never once reached out!”

“Neither did you!”

“You left!” Your shout echoed in the night. “You left, so why would I?”

He didn't let himself overthink. “Because you wanted to talk to me again.”

His heart thumped at the possibility and skipped when you admitted, “Sure, I did. Did you? Did you ever want to talk to me again?”

“Yes,” he breathed.

“I don't believe you.” You shook your head. “Even when I think all the way back, you were already acting distant before you left. Too busy with your own things to notice anything or anyone else. You already didn't care back then.”

He frowned. “I always cared. But it's true I had a lot going on back then. I was stressing about getting into a good school, I wasn’t paying attention.”

Your expression closed off as you nodded. Your voice was quiet, as though his admission settled it. “I'm happy you did, and that everything worked out for you.”

“Then why would you be so mad about this? I mean, I’m not thrilled about it, but it happened like it happened.”

“Oh for fucks sake, Jeongguk!” you blew up again, and he had to fist his hands at his sides not to impulsively grab you somehow. “You left! And left everything and everyone behind!”

You were finally talking, and he was so eager to hear you that he was almost leaning toward you. “Everything? What are you talking about?”

“You got into a good school in Seoul and moved, and everything was gone,” you insisted, with the strength behind your words waning. “We were the closest friends, and then suddenly you left and…” You visibly swallowed, then faced him again. “I was…” It must have been harder than you thought because you needed a second try to reveal, “I had a silly crush on you. You were my best friend. There were a lot of things I wanted us to do together. For a thirteen-year-old girl, it was all very new and at the center of everything. You didn’t care about any of it until you did, and I didn’t know how to deal with any of it, obviously. I honestly didn't even know what was happening. I thought I’d have time to bring up those things, to—” You cut yourself short. “I never had the time.”

“What things?” He got even closer, searching in your eyes. “Tell me what things.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you said, deflating a little bit as you stepped back. “I’m over it now.”

“You don’t sound over it.” He followed you with his eyes. “You sound angry.”

“I’m not.”

Your eyes stayed low, and he pursed his lips, unable to believe you but wary to insist.

“Well, I obviously had no idea you had a crush on me.” Saying it out loud had a smile blossoming on his face that he immediately tried to tone down. Your eyes showed vulnerability again, and he licked his lip ring before continuing, “Honestly, those sorts of feelings took a while to appear. I only realized I had a crush on you so much later.”

Your eyes hardened as you scoffed. “Why are you lying?”

“What? I’m not.” He instantly frowned. 

“You are.”

“Mimi,” he called, not knowing exactly why his heart felt so heavy. “I’m not lying.”

“Wait, let me try to remember your exact words…” You mused, tapping your chin. “She’s just like a boy, with short hair and everything,” you said, looking so firmly into his eyes, he needed a moment to catch up. “I could have called her hyung and nobody would have noticed.”

His stomach instantly churned. “You— You heard me say that?”

“Yes.”

“At my mom’s BTS debut party?”

“Yes.”

“You… heard us talk?”

“Yes.”

He groaned, nervously raking his fingers through his hair to get it out of his eyes. “Is that why you left that day? And I never got to see you?” You stayed quiet, but now he knew the answer. “My mom said you were so sick you were crying, I was so worried, and it was because—”

“Worried?” you interrupted with a sneer. “You’re funny.”

“I was worried!”

“If you really were, you would have come next door to say something!”

“I had to leave the next day and thought you didn’t want to see me!”

“I went to your house, you were the one who couldn't bother to send a stupid message when you were worried that I was sick!”

“Because my mom said you never once asked about me. When your mom said you were really sick, I thought—” He groaned. “I thought you had faked it just so that you wouldn’t bother putting up with me.”

“That’s ridiculous,” you said, and he scoffed. You insisted, “It is.”

“And you never asking about me is normal?”

“You left,” you deadpanned. “With no goodbyes and no messages, I had to hear it from my mom.”

His stomach turned. “Wait a minute.”

“Then three years later, that was what you had to say about me!”

“I was sixteen! And so stupid! My hyungs knew I had a crush before I did, and by then… I had nothing on my mind but work.”

You pursed your lips, and the way you moved away stung him. He could see that he was losing you, that everything had eroded and disintegrated much more than he thought. But he had a chance to tell you everything now and right his wrongs, and he would. No matter how much it hurt to reopen old wounds.

“When I said that, I had spent the last three years forgetting about you. I wasn't about to admit to Jimin that I still thought about you and missed you, not after working so hard to let go, and not when we were just debuting and everything was so hard.”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“When I moved to Seoul, everything changed. I never had the chance to say goodbye, and it weighed on me a lot. Just a phone call all of a sudden about a school opening, and hours later, I was already there. I still remember crying in the car and my mom promising she'd talk to you.” His smile was painful as he shook his head. “But she stayed with me for a while in Seoul, so I guess she just called your mom instead. A lot was going on; it just happened too fast.”

You stood quiet, just listening as you probably matched his words with what you knew, and he kept going.

“Everything was harder than I thought it would be. I knew nobody in Seoul, but it wasn't just that. You weren't there anymore, and I never knew how overwhelming it would all be. I'd ask about you, and you were doing well, with good grades and plenty of friends. You forgot all about me when I missed you every single day.”

“That's not true.”

He couldn’t help but scoff as he teared up with the memories. “See how everything is a matter of perspective? It took me three years of working day and night to feel remotely confident. Without you, I— I had to learn to be confident and make friends without you.”

“You were always the popular one,” you said cautiously.

“Because I had you backing me up!” he affirmed, stepping closer to you. “Every time I looked to the side, you'd give me that grin, and I knew that you had me, no matter what. That nothing could go wrong.”

He could see the pain in your eyes; maybe you were starting to get it.

“You mean you were lonely?”

“For a very long time,” he confirmed.

You shook your head, unsettled. “That's crazy. If you needed me… why didn't you say something?”

“I did,” he confessed with a smile that surely revealed the ache he felt at the time. “I was under a lot of pressure not to waste that opportunity. I had no social media and trained day and night. Whenever I'd speak with my mom, she'd just tell me to work hard, that everyone was proud, and that she'd pass it on to you. Until the day I asked if you asked about me, and she said not really.”

“I didn't ask about anything!” You crossed your arms over your chest. “My best friend left without a word. How do you think I felt?”

“Lonely,” he replied, looking into your eyes. “Though probably not as much as me.”

Your lips trembled. “I… Shit, I… I was so angry that I just refused to talk about you, even when my mom or yours wanted to tell me things.” Your confession brought tears to your eyes, and it stung Jungkook’s chest. “I don’t remember how things happened at school or anything, I just remember going to school and home alone every day and… coming here to be alone until I just… I was angry. I heard your mom telling mine you had changed, but I… I refused to ask when you clearly didn’t care, so I just—”

You were holding back tears, and he just nodded, assuring you gently, “It’s okay. We were kids.”

“Then you debuted.” You managed to look at him, and he realized he couldn’t stop breathing in your presence. Your every word. “And I thought, well, at least it was for something. I wanted to support you, even though I cried a lot.”

You chuckled to hide a snifle, and he was worried. “Why did you cry?” he asked.

“I don’t know…” Your gaze wandered, thinking back. “I don’t know if I was proud or grieving. Because I felt left behind, but perhaps that was worth it, because you made it. You were on TV, being amazing, looking so cool,” your voice wavered as you wiped the tears from your cheeks. “Of course, you had to leave and go to Seoul and be amazing. A true friend wouldn’t hold you back.”

Your shoulders trembled, and you turned around to hide the tears that kept falling despite your best attempts to keep them in. You didn’t see him stepping forward or his fingers twitching. You couldn’t know how much his heart ached at learning all this.

“I missed you every day,” was all he could say.

You chuckled, but he could hear the fragility in your voice. “It’s fine. It’s good that everything turned out well.” After several sniffles, you took a deep breath and turned back to look at him. “I may have been angry, but I never wished for you to be unhappy. I’m happy your dreams came true.”

He scanned your face in silence as you handled your tears. He had so much he wanted to say about how much he missed you, but it didn’t feel right to insist. He could feel the distance between the two of you grow whenever he voiced his feelings, whether because you didn’t believe him or it hurt too much.

So he didn’t insist. “So… you are our fan, then?”

He tried a light tone and was mesmerized when you laughed. “Absolutely not!”

He smiled. “Why not?”

“I mean, at first I was,” you explained with a faint smile. “I wanted to support my friend, or, well, you know.” You were embarrassed enough that you weren’t looking at him. “Until that time when your mom wanted to celebrate your debut, and I heard you saying those things about me. I was so upset, I threw away everything BTS-related and swore I’d never look at anything related to you again.”

He groaned and rubbed his face. “All because I said something so stupid…”

You shrugged and looked away, and when he revealed his face, he licked his lip ring nervously.

“I said all manner of stupid things back then, especially about… I didn’t know how to handle my feelings,” he hurriedly explained. “I wanted to come off strong and cool. To think you had a crush on me back then… Honestly, I was so blind to it all.”

You raised a skeptical eyebrow. “To it all? No, you weren’t.”

“What do you mean?”

You shrugged casually. “You dated Seo Soyeon before you left.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened in bewilderment, as though he had no idea what you were talking about. Then, his eyebrows jumped. “Seo Soyeon? Oh my— I had forgotten all about that. They pushed for it, the class couple or whatever. I didn't care.”

“She was your first kiss.”

Your voice was small, and he shrugged with a small smile. “I didn't realize then what that meant. Now, it doesn't matter anymore, but for a while, I wished it had been different. More special.”

As he spoke, he remembered how he had revolted once he was mature enough to realize what had happened. He still remembered complaining about it to Jimin, frustrated that he had let it happen like that instead of realizing that whoever his lips touched should be memorable. Especially after Jimin asked if he had ever kissed you, since he assumed Jungkook’s best friend would have surely been his first.

“Right. You're right,” you agreed, still lost in your thoughts. “It doesn't matter anymore.”

“Who was your first?” Jungkook could have kicked himself for asking you so directly, but your answer was automatic.

“Yoon Jiryun.”

“Ahh…” Jungkook pressed his lips. He remembered the boy with the glasses who ran super fast. But he didn’t know what to do with this information now that he had it, especially since it made his stomach feel funny. “I… hope it was nice.”

You nodded. “It was nice.”

Your certainty made him smile. “You mean it wasn't in front of the whole class by sheer peer pressure?”

He saw the second it dawned on you. “That's… I'm so sorry, that must have been horrible!”

He shrugged. “It wasn't great, but hey. It was a long time ago.”

You looked at him, still with worry on your light frown, then your eyes shifted behind him. Jungkook was so focused on looking at you and appreciating that newfound connection that he didn’t expect you to step forward. His stomach instantly fluttered as he held his breath, but then you moved to the side. He saw you as you put your handbag down and sat on the swing next to the one he was on before.

“I dated him for a couple of years in high school,” you started, and Jungkook didn’t hesitate to sit on the swing next to yours. “He was very supportive of me when I was going through the worst of it.”

“You had issues in high school?”

“Who doesn't?”

“Fair.”

“He was very patient and supportive, even when he knew I was pissed about… you know.”

“What?”

“My former best friend saying stupid shit.”

“You were dating him then?” he asked instantly, surprised.

“No, a few months after that. I'm thankful for him. He made me feel pretty and special after my crush said I looked like a boy.”

He sighed. “Your crush was an idiot. A foolish idiot.”

“You can stop that now.”

“It's true,” he insisted, taking a look at you, even though you were staring ahead. It wasn’t lost on him that you just implied you still had a crush on him at sixteen. If only he had seen you that day. He sighed again. “You know, I don't remember when, but around when we graduated, my mother showed me a photo of our class, and I saw you. I was so shocked,” he breathed, remembering that moment. “You had long hair,” he chuckled, glancing at you to find your eyes this time. “In my mind, you looked and dressed the same, but at that moment, I realized we both had changed. I had my ears pierced, and you had long hair. I was happy. And sad.”

“Sad? Why?”

“Just… because. I didn't see it happen. That made me think back, which at that time I couldn't handle.” He laced his arms around the swing chains and, looking into your eyes, he knew he didn’t want to hide anything. “Everything related to before training is… clouded. I don't remember everything anymore. What I remember most are moments of us together. Like coming here to play at this hour after sneaking out.”

You smirked and looked around the park as though suddenly reminded it was probably almost two in the morning. “We were crazy.”

“Maybe. But I liked it when it was just the two of us talking about… whatever we talked about at the time.”

“I can't remember either,” you confessed, and when you looked at him, he had the most amazing desire to laugh, and you both did quietly. “I thought you would have forgotten about all of that.”

He shook his head. “Not that. It makes me who I am.”

You nodded. “I get that. What you said that one time marked me so much, I’ve never cut my hair above my chest since.”

His heart dropped as he forced his swing to stand still, unlike you, who kept a gentle sway. “I’m so sorry!” You nodded but kept your back and forth, your eyes on the floor, and he didn’t know why, but it felt like he was desperately trying to hold onto grains of sand slipping between his fingers. “I should never have said that, and your hair was beautiful back then, as it is now. I was just stupid!”

“It’s fine,” you assured him. “Like you said, we were kids, and it makes us who we are.”

His expression hardened. “I meant that in a positive way. To think that what you remember most about me is something stupid and harmful I said makes me sick to my stomach.”

“It’s fine,” you repeated, still looking at the floor absentmindedly. “It was painful, but it’s in the past.”

Jungkook didn’t feel like it was okay, much less in the past. Not when he could still see the traces of pain in your eyes or feel in his gut that his fate was sealed. All you’d ever see was the sixteen-year-old boy who needed to deny his feelings because he feared the alternative would block him even more. Who, by saying whatever stupid thing that came to mind, had inflicted a wound instead of being the one who looked after you. No wonder you hated him. He hadn’t just left; he had actively made you feel less even when you meant the world to him.

“Would you do anything different if you could?”

Your voice was gentle and reflective, and he pushed away the tears. “Definitely. Miscommunications can happen at all ages, but it wouldn’t have happened like this if I had asked to talk to you directly. If we had talked, everything would have been easier for both of us. But I think it could have also been harder for you. Because the distance would always be there, and it took me way too long to figure out how much you meant to me.”

“Maybe… Well… It wasn’t meant to be. You’re right, you’re always in Seoul. We would have drifted apart anyway.”

“Maybe not… that wouldn’t happen with the right person, right?” he asked quietly.

“I’m not sure. It was different then. Our lives were different and our worlds were small. It’s all different now.”

Somehow, your words didn’t make him feel any better, even while implying that you might have been the right person for him once. Because it also implied that he had missed that window. He had missed the opportunity to have you in his life, to be with you, to be the one who made you feel pretty and special.

He sighed. “You still haven't told me what you've been up to,” he hinted, deciding a lighter topic would be best for his heart. “It's unfair, you know about me.”

He said it payfully, and you chuckled. “Who doesn't? I tried to stay away, but you're everywhere.”

“Yeah, I… get it.”

You glanced at him, and fortunately, your expression was light. “I've become an interpreter and a translator. I’m mostly connected with the tourism department of Busan, but I also consult for other institutions.”

His eyes widened. He would have never guessed.

“Your concert really gave me a lot of work,” you teased, giving him a look, and he instantly bowed.

“Thank you for your hard work.”

You bowed back. “Thank you for doing this event in Busan.”

He had to grin after a few more head bows back and forth as though they were competing for who would bow last. “You've become great at something I struggle with.”

You raised your eyebrows. “English?” He nodded and saw the surprise on your face. Yet you quickly smirked. “And you? I sing horribly.”

He grinned. “You were never easy on the ears…”

You kicked his foot, and he chuckled, his grin bigger than ever.

“But that's okay,” he assured. “I sing enough for us both.”

Your smile faltered ever so slightly, and so did his.

“What about Yoon Jiryun?” he asked, changing the subject. “Did you guys see each other after high school?”

“No, he studied computer science in Seoul and got married last year.”

“Woah!”

“Yeah, I don't know how he did it,” you voiced incredulously, and he raised a quizzical eyebrow. “I mean, getting married is expensive. The families turn the women into slaves, then they expect kids, but it's so competitive and—” You realized you were rambling. “Ah, whatever. Even dating… It's hard enough as it is.”

Jungkook was listening carefully, trying not to give away how interested he was in hearing your thoughts. “Maybe he just found the right person.”

“Yeah, I think he did,” you mused. “Did you?”

“Me? Nah. With what time?” He shook his head with a smile. “I'm taking time off now, but I want to focus on myself and my family for a bit. On my friends, too.”

You stopped your gentle swinging and eyed him. “Doesn't it get lonely?”

“It does,” he admitted, stopping his back and forth to talk while looking directly at you. “I'll tell you a secret: it's like a vice. The highs are amazing, nothing feels close. But the lows are… soul-crushing. The lowest low. The silence and the absence are deadly.”

Your brow furrowed. “But you can connect with your fans all the time.”

He shook his head firmly. “It's not healthy. Life can't be lived through a camera or a screen. Disconnecting is important. I struggled with that in the beginning, but now… I'm living every day doing my best.”

“That's good, I'm happy for you.”

Your tone was soft and your eyes sincere, and his stomach felt fuzzy again. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that break would start or even imply a chance to reconnect with you, but he wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Yet as you looked away again, he licked his lip ring absentmindedly as he realized there was still one thing he didn’t know.

“Have you? Found the right person?”

You chortled openly. “Nope! I'm starting to think they don't exist, but it's fine.”

“What?! Why?”

You shrugged, too focused on scrunching up your nose while you thought of a reply to notice how agitated he had become, tapping his foot and nibbling his lip.

“I tried too long and now I think I'm just fatigued.”

His foot stopped as his voice became gentle. “What was the problem?”

“The entitlement, or the need to be controlling, or the ‘man’,” you air quoted. It was as though you had a list on the tip of your tongue. “Dating doesn't mean you can boss me around. Oh and the god-awful sex.”

He didn’t realize the way his eyes widened, but you noticed the silence and looked at him. Your features contorted to hold back laughter, but in a second, you were both laughing quietly.

“What was worse,” you laughed. “Was the men trying to convince me it's good when it's just— ah shit, just— yeah, you get it.”

The way you both laughed and were at ease talking about it made him feel like you were back to the old days when you could talk about anything. When nothing could go wrong, and he could just be himself.

He hummed thoughtfully. “Well, some of it must have been good.”

You sighed. “Sure. It can't all be bad.” You looked up at the night sky. “I guess I just remember the bad now.”

His eyes betrayed him and quickly took you in from head to toe while you weren’t looking. Then, he looked ahead as he tried to sound nonchalant and pretend he wasn’t curious or attracted to you. “I'm sure it will get better.”

You scoffed and glanced at him. “Yeah, sure.”

He could only nibble his lip ring while stifling the promises he would have made in a heartbeat if he didn’t believe that would make you slap him across the face and never speak to him again.

“Can I ask about what you meant earlier?” he asked casually. “You said there were things you wanted us to do together, but you didn’t have the time to talk to me about them.”

You glanced at him as though you could see right through his fake halo. “Stop joking.”

And he was surprised. “I'm not.”

“You're not?”

“No. I have no idea what went through your mind at the time.” 

He was being sincere, yet you still gave him a look and a skeptical huff, and he fiddled with his lip ring.

“But you’re bringing it up right now,” you underlined, eying him so fearlessly his knees were weak. Thankfully, he was sitting.

“I don’t think you meant sex, but—”

“No!! Of course not!” You flustered visibly, blushing and closing your eyes with embarrassment, and he had to bite his lip not to smile widely. “Why would you say that?!”

He shrugged, although by the way you blushed and stirred, he instantly knew the answer. Teasing you was so much more fun than he remembered.

“I guess you have no way of remembering or imagining what a thirteen-year-old girl wonders about,” you acknowledged, then heaved a deep breath. “Well, I thought you were the cutest and coolest boy ever, and that it would have been perfect for our first kiss to be together. It sounds ridiculous now, but yeah.” Your eyes stayed glued to the floor. “Just dating, whatever that meant at the time. Holding hands, kissing, hugging, talking, I don't know.”

He bit his lip so hard he tasted blood, yet all he could do was swallow the torrent of heat climbing up his chest. “It doesn't sound ridiculous,” he croaked, then cleared his throat. “So that's what you thought at the time…”

“Yeah, it's that phase,” you commented, and for the first time, he wondered if you really felt so casually about seeing him again. “Of entering our teens and becoming adults. For some reason, I was very confident we'd do all those firsts together. Meanwhile, you thought I was a boy.”

“I never thought that!!” he countered instinctively. “I hate that I ever said that. I said whatever came to mind, but I never thought that. Short or long hair, you were always cute and feminine. When I saw that photo of you when you graduated, it hit me hard. How dainty you had become. The same face I’d recognize anywhere, but so much prettier and mature. Seeing you now, it’s one hundred times better. In-person and now as a woman, you're…”

He was finally able to breathe and realize the heat he had swallowed down had just gushed out uncontrollably. 

“Not a boy?”

You had an amused spark in your eyes, and he couldn’t think. “Fuck no.”

You chuckled. “Go figure.”

Finally, he rubbed his face to hide the things that were all too clearly shown there. “I wish it had been different. It's not possible, but I wish I were able to tell you all this at the time.”

“Go back in time and call me through our moms,” you joked, kicking his foot.

“Mom,” he pretended to talk on the phone. “Can you tell Mimi's mom that Mimi looks so pretty now? Someone needs to stay by her side to make sure she's not bothered.”

“Bothered?” you laughed in disbelief, and he smirked.

“Yeah, guys probably won't leave her alone,” he continued, then got up and put his fingers to his ear, pressing a non-existent earpiece. Then, he grabbed your hand and raised his other hand protectively, shielding you from invisible enemies coming from all angles. “No, I need to protect her!” He pretended to struggle, then groaned with his palm to his stomach, raising it while trembling as if it were covered in blood. “No!” He succumbed to his knees while you laughed and shook your head, still holding his hand. “Oh no, they'll kidnap you. Nooo!”

He fell dramatically to the floor, keeping his hand tethered to yours while you laughed quietly. Although his eyes were closed, he gave your hand a slight squeeze to help him up, but you just kept laughing. So instead, he stayed put, listening to you laugh giddily. When he looked up at you from the floor, splayed like a star, he saw you smiling upside down, filling his heart. He couldn’t even describe how complete he felt at that moment.

You stood up from the swing and faced him, raising your free hand to offer help, but he gave you a small shake of his head. Instead, he moved his free arm as though welcoming you to join him. In that split second, he braced for the coldness to return to your features and wash the happiness away. But it didn’t.

You lay down next to him, resting your head on his bicep. He adjusted his arm around you, trying to increase your comfort, only to realize you snuggled up to him seamlessly. You fit in his arms so perfectly that he couldn’t help but embrace you fully.

You hid in his chest, and he let his nose draw closer to the top of your head, letting every little detail relax him. He didn’t remember ever holding you in his arms like this, and he knew he would have never forgotten if he had. To be there with you, alone, breathing you in while your legs tangled with his made him so fuzzy and happy, there was no holding back. There was nothing he wished to keep secret anymore.

“I wish we had our firsts together,” he whispered to the top of your head, and you raised your head to look up at him. “Maybe it wasn’t meant to be, but you’ll always be that one person.”

His heart felt heavy in his chest as you both observed each other so closely. He knew by the trajectory of your eyes that you were rediscovering his features, from the mole on his nose to the small scar on his cheek. His cheeks warmed under your attentive eyes, even as he tried to take advantage to memorize your face, from the freckles on your nose to your full lips.

But then you looked up at him as his breath caught with the sparkly stars in your eyes.

“Even now?” you whispered, and he had to try hard to remember what you were talking about.

Before he could think, his inked fingers traced your cheek. Your lashes fluttered as you looked at him, with warm cheeks and the sweetest expression that told him everything he needed to know. His eyes fell to your lips.

“Now,” he muttered, leaning in, and your eyelashes fluttered again. “Always… Just right…”

He stopped mumbling in time before his lips pressed to yours, and time stopped. His breath caught as his sole focus became that moment, with you, on the cold rubber mat of the playground, having the only first that mattered.

You took a shaky breath, pressing your palm to his chest as you moved your lips, and he waited. He preferred to follow you, graze and taste your kiss with the same cadence and pressure you used, taking only what you gave him. And it quickly became everything he thought it would be.

Your lips touched tentatively at first, carefully making sure the other wanted this, but quickly things changed. He knew it wasn’t just him free-falling and letting that incoming fever take over because he was following your lead. And you were not shy about following your instincts either.

The first kiss was a touch, the second a delicate brush, the third a firm press, the fourth the first taste, the fifth wet, and finally, it became impossible to count. He was already dizzy with what was happening, but the way you invaded his senses overcame him.  He was eager to drink down every drop of your presence and attention, but he didn’t realize it would come with such force. Your kiss became searing and brazen, unapologetically punishing him for the wait, and his body reacted in a flash.

It took him seconds to ignite for you, burning with a passion that he only ever dreamed possible. And then you pulled away, and everything dawned on him—your kisses weren’t innocent. He wanted you in every way possible, and he’d likely follow you to the end of the world now that he found you again and knew exactly what you tasted like.

But you sat up and faced away from him. “I’m sorry, that was…”

“Don’t say sorry,” he croaked, sitting up behind you. He could tell you were panting; his heart was also racing. “You don’t… You didn’t like it?”

In the silence, he raised his hand to touch you but gave up, fearing invading your space. He thought all he had to do was wait, but in a second, you were getting on your knees to reach your handbag ahead, on the ground, next to the swings.

“Mimi…”

You grabbed your handbag. “Don’t call me that.”

“I’ve always called you that. I gave you that name.”

You froze, still facing away from him. “We’re not kids anymore.”

“No, we’re adults.”

You stayed quiet, but at least you weren’t moving further away. He didn’t even know how he was so calm, but he embraced it.

“So tell me,” he said quietly, hoping you’d turn around to look at him. “Was our kiss just now… weird to you?”

“No.”

His lips curved in the most endearing smile. “That’s a relief.”

You finally faced him. “But we can’t do this.”

Your eyes were big and glazed, and he focused. “Why not?”

“Because… It’s not the same.”

Your voice shook, and he frowned ever so slightly. “The same?”

“It’s not our first…”

“Who cares?!” he blurted out, but he couldn’t help himself. He saw hesitation but also so much more in your eyes that he couldn’t hold back. “Mimi, who cares who our firsts were? Do you care that much about who we’ve kissed before?”

“No!”

“No? You sure?”

“I’m sure!” you confirmed firmly. “It’s not that!”

“Then what is it?”

Your eyes met his, and he saw the moment you realized what you had just said. You admitted — insisted — that the past was not what was bothering you. He could only hope you’d be willing to tell him what the real problem was so he could help you. So he could fix it and never have to let you go.

“I thought—” Your voice wavered, so you whispered, “I thought I was over you.”

He couldn’t help a knowing smile. “Ditto.”

Did you notice you were leaning in again? Did you notice you were looking at him like nothing else existed? Or how you raised a curious yet shy hand to touch him, and he leaned forward, savoring the way you brushed his hair out of his face. When he opened his eyes again, you were much closer, and he had no qualms brushing his hand down your forearm and raising his other hand in an invitation for you to come closer.

Your handbag fell to the ground again as you took his hand, and he pulled you in. The objective was never for you to straddle him, but as soon as you did, his arm wrapped around you possessively. Anyone would have a hard time convincing him to let you go now, not when you were sitting so perfectly on his lap, looking at him like the world was that moment.

“Are we crazy?” you whispered, and his blood ran hot again.

“Maybe.”

His hands held you firmly, almost afraid of losing that moment somehow, yet there was no need to. You pushed forward, crashing your mouth to his, unabashedly picking up where you had left off. He was already not in his right mind, but the moment your tongue pushed through the seam of his lips, he felt his brakes disintegrate. There could be no inhibitions when you were pressing yourself like that to him, breathing heavy, sharing your air, taste, and visceral curiosity. It was too easy to become inebriated, relaxing while burning so intensely, it was hard to explain. It was as though he knew he’d be consumed by the desire, the lust, and the affection in his heart, all with your name so deeply rooted in him, it was more than inked, it was branded. Part of his DNA, his psyche, his soul. And to elevate it all, the way you showed him there was something inside you, too. Something that pushed you to kiss him harder, cup his cheek, and mold your bodies so closely that you ended up pushing him back until he was lying on the ground again.

As you dove into the kiss, the air dissipated from his lungs, and he surrendered completely. Kissing you and absorbing every little detail from the way you breathed or caressed his face was already enough to erase every thought that could try to interrupt that moment. But now, he felt everything. Your weight over him, the warmth, the way your chest expanded against him, letting him catch hints of your form above him. He couldn’t help the hard-on in his pants more than he could help breathing in your perfume between fevered kisses, and it was divine.

He never pushed you or pressed for anything in any way. You'd undoubtedly realize his excitement, but he trusted you not to go further than you were comfortable with. No matter how curious he was to learn and explore every detail about you, he'd gladly kiss you all night long if that was what you wanted.

But he wouldn’t push you away if you wanted more. He sighed when your hands felt the expanse of his shoulders and chest, feeling every inch of his body tingle and react under your touch. His fingers twitched on your waist, eager to feel more, but he reeled it in. One deep breath while your tongue licked against his could have easily flipped his mindset, but he was disciplined enough to stay put.

Until your fingers explored down at his sides, framing his waist until they reached your legs. Realizing your knees were pressing into his sides, you opened your legs further, and his brain turned to goo. Your weight shifted enough for you to sit straight on his hard-on while your fingers eagerly pulled his sweater so you could touch him, and he groaned into your kiss.

It was a visceral, unadulterated sound dripping with desire, and you paused. You pulled away to eye him, looking like sin incarnate with your swollen lips and blown pupils, and he licked his lips.

“Keep going,” he rasped, looking at you hungrily. “Whatever you want.”

You looked down at the hem of his sweater, crumpled in your hands, as he pulled on the fabric to reveal his lower abdomen. Dragging your hands along wasn't enough for you to break away from your hesitation, so he took them. Your eyes were locked with his as your fingers interlaced, making his heart flutter. You dropped your mouth back to his, pressing a chaste kiss, and he closed his eyes. Yes, his heart was singing, but he wanted you to keep going.

So he placed your hands on his lower stomach, instantly shuddering, and not from the night's October cold. Your fingers untangled from his, touching and feeling his warm skin, and he groaned again. This time, he didn't hold back from opening his mouth and searching to deepen your kiss, and his hands returned to your waist, squeezing it firmly.

You took everything he offered, no longer surprised when he groaned as you pressed and scratched lightly over his abs and sides. You reached his chest once, and his breath caught. He couldn’t control his reaction; his dick throbbed under you and he nibbled your lip, so eager to eat you whole he didn't even know how he was holding back. But he knew then you had to know it. You had to feel how hard he was underneath you, and yet you didn't move to the side or pull away. As if you wanted to feel his excitement pressed to you, and it was maddening.

He felt his sanity pushed further when you grabbed his hands and guided him. He held his breath as you dragged his hands to your hips before making way underneath your sweater until you placed them back on your waist, directly on your soft skin.

He could barely breathe, and you knew it. You ghosted his lips the whole time as your eyes stayed locked with his, observing his reaction. He couldn’t think, suddenly absolutely stiff and tense. If he moved and touched you, it would be like jumping off a cliff — wishing the untamed ocean would catch him while he would be completely at a loss.

“Touch me,” you whispered against his lips, and he heard it as both a command and a wish, so he did.

Your skin was so soft and warm, he wondered how it could be so perfect. Your curves instantly turned his legs to goo underneath you, so maddening they were, but something else almost made him choke.

Several times, he palmed your sides from your armpits to the hem of your sweatpants, and there was nothing but soft skin. No elastic, no other fabric, nothing but supple skin.

His eyes met yours again as you kept brushing his lips and skin without properly kissing him, as though you were waiting for something.

“Don't stop,” you whispered, nuzzling him, and he leaped.

His palms moved in, thumbs brushing the side of your chest, and your breath shook. He caressed the sensitive skin, feeling how warm and inviting it was, and as he did, you melted over him. You kissed him, then turned to the side to breathe, then pressed his lips again, then had to part them to moan softly, and by the time he realized what was happening, you were both too far gone.

You were moving over him at the cadence of his hands, and it felt too good for both of you. You rocked your hips as slowly as his hands, savoring every millimeter his fingers explored of your breasts little by little while you pressed your core to his hard cock. It was incredibly worth it to do it slowly and feel you falling apart over him, cracking his control as yours dissipated as well. The tension was so sweet and sublime, he let it develop to the last second. Brushing his fingers ever so slightly over your breasts without ever forming a hold. At least until you whimpered. 

Then, he cupped your breasts in his hands and squeezed, and you moaned, grinding on his erection so perfectly, he throbbed. He did it again and again, reveling in the way you reacted and gave back to him. Until you hid in his neck to moan your pleasure, and he bit down on your exposed neck, rutting into you unapologetically.

You were just perfect. The sounds you breathed drove his sanity away, but the way you felt over him made him want to get lost in you. He was crazy, both about feeling you and driving you just as crazy, and for a moment, he thought it would work. He was teasing your nipples while groping your tits harshly, arriving at that point by the way you moaned and humped him harder with every touch in the right direction. He was listening to you attentively, so turned on by your excitement, he wondered if he could cum like this if you did.

But then you relented, stopping your hips despite the way you were moaning and breathing into his ear, messing him up. 

His instincts roared, and he rolled over you, letting you stay hidden in his neck. Then he humped sharply into you to elicit that strong reaction out of you again and there it was, that sweet breathless moan in his ear. Your hands found their way to his lower back under his sweater, and the slightest push was enough to unleash him. He hid in your neck to suckle your skin while humping your core and squeezing your tits in his hands. Everything heated him unbearably, melting away any thoughts before they could form. Yet as you moaned into his ear and sank your nails into his lower back, moving with him, he pulled away to look at you. He was suddenly overwhelmed by curiosity — what did you look like at his exact moment?

His cock throbbed so painfully he had to slow down, making you whimper and open your eyes. It made it even worse, and he bit his lip to simmer down. Just seconds before, you were breathing heavily with your lips parted, shuddering underneath him. He could still feel your heart racing under his hands as your tongue peeked out to lick your lips, and he dove in.

He was fully inebriated, wholly converted, and ready to learn everything about you from A to Z. What he had learned so far was not enough; he couldn't stop now.

You tapped his back, and he let you breathe, pecking your cheek instead.

You rasped, “Everyone can see us.”

He raised his head to look at you, his heart pumping loudly. You didn't say stop, no, or that you should end it there. Your eyes showed as much desire as he felt drumming in his veins, and he kissed you hard. You wanted to be with him, and if he had somewhere to take you, he wouldn't have hesitated for a second.

He couldn’t take you to his parents' place as it stood. So he guided your legs to lock behind him. “Hang on.”

Once he was sure you could hold, he rose to his knees and crawled into the tunnel you had been hiding in earlier. When he laid you down gently, you giggled and instantly covered your mouth. He had to chuckle at the way you blushed, surprised by the echo.

“Don't you remember when we'd shout from one end to the other, pretending to be pirates and thieves?”

Your eyes crinkled. “It's a miracle we were never caught and grounded.”

He let his body fall to yours gently. “It's because there's nobody around at this hour.”

He pecked the tip of your nose, and you smiled, happily still holding onto him. It made him pause. He just looked at you, relishing that closeness and singular moment with none other than you. He couldn't see you as well, now hidden from the streetlights, but he could still distinguish the lines of your smile. You looked happy. He had to wonder if it was all a dream.

Your legs stayed laced around him, and as he felt the outlines of your body underneath him, he was reminded of just how turned on he was. His cock was so hard and swollen, and after humping you so crazily, his clothes were pressing on it uncomfortably.

He supported himself on one hand, feeling the tight tunnel frame his shoulders as he used his free hand to adjust his dick. His head was completely elsewhere, locked on how he’d touch you again under your sweater as soon as humanly possible, when he felt your hand over his.

His thoughts collapsed in on themselves as you looked up at him and followed his hand to his hard-on. His breath caught when you didn’t just feel around, but purposefully found his length.

“May I?”

His brain had to do backflips to articulate a simple, Yeah.

Worse than feeling like he was drooling all over you and unable to attach two words together was the way you looked at him. The more his eyes adjusted to the darkness, the more he saw the look on your face — of someone who knew what they wanted and weren’t afraid to get it. It made him weak in the knees before your hand had the chance to grab his hard length.

You squeezed him over his sweatpants, learning the outline of his dick before moving beyond his hand and burrowing inside. He had no time to process, only to catch himself before he collapsed on top of you. He couldn’t stop a deep groan, nor the precum from spilling over your hand, but there was no hiding it, not at this stage. Not when your fingers wrapped around him and felt him from base to tip, and not just once or twice.

He opened his eyes to look at you, and you almost blew him away. You weren’t just sure you wanted to touch him; you had the most confident and sexy look on your face. Like you knew what you were doing to him and wanted exactly that to happen. Like you intended for his toes to curl as he stopped himself from rutting into your hand and kissing you desperately as he spilled all over you.

He had given up on stifling his groans or heavy breathing; the way you seemed to delightedly observe every reaction only made him more beside himself. He wanted you to look at him and want him as crazily as he wanted you, but he also didn’t want to cum in two minutes.

His eyes flickered down to your stomach, and you whispered, “You can pull it up.”

He met your eyes and supported himself on both his hands, pressing his thumbs to distract himself from your hand jerking him off steadily and perfectly. “No,” he muttered, then tried again. “I don’t want you to be cold.”

You definitely knew what you were doing when you used your free hand to pull your sweater so far up on one side that your breast showed. It was enough for him to groan and almost try to escape your hand, because it was too good. You felt too good and looked too perfect, and his instinct won again. In a split second, he wasn’t just looking at the outline of your chest, trying to learn all the details in the dark, but diving in with his mouth latching onto a nipple he had teased relentlessly before.

You threw your head back and moaned, and his hand darted to stop yours. You couldn’t have known how close he was to blowing, especially as he didn’t relent from licking and nibbling on your perked nipple. He couldn’t help himself, especially when you grabbed his hair and moaned softly like that.

The moment you moaned his name, his eyes closed as he felt it in his entire body. He’d never forget that sound.

“Can you multitask?”

He opened his eyes, so utterly dazed he couldn’t have heard you. “What?”

“Can you touch me, too?” you asked, batting your eyelashes at him, and he realized what you meant.

Your legs had loosened their hold around him, but were still open under him, molding to him in the perfect position for him to sink deeply into you.

He shook those thoughts away. “If you let me, I’d love to.”

You were quick to make space for him beside you while he tried to wrap his head around what was happening. He used to think it was unlikely that he’d ever meet you again. But now, not only were you kissing, but you were touching each other in ways that crossed lines like they were meant to be erased. Asserting what he instinctively knew but was never able to act upon.

He lay next to you, noticing how you adjusted to still be comfortable while you held onto his dick. Not that you had let it go, but at least you seemed okay with waiting for him to be comfortable before you restarted your strokes.

But first, he needed to touch you and brace himself for it. This was such an important moment that his heart started racing inside his chest. Not just because you were letting him touch you, but because of everything it meant. You trusted him, you wanted him, you had expectations that he could make you feel good, and suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to do exactly that while stressing like hell that he’d do everything wrong.

His hand moved in the dark, trembling, to find you, and it did. Your legs opened further as his palm settled on your inner thigh, firm and warm, and he opened his eyes. Instantly, he knew he was fucked and blessed. The streetlights somehow managed to shine on you, giving him a view he had only ever dared to dream of — you, lying next to him, with your sweater raised, exposing one side of you, stomach to breast, while one of your legs was open with his inked hand resting on it.

He was probably drooling, and once his eyes met yours, he guessed you knew.

“Please,” you breathed, and the back of his neck burned. Your eyes were hungry as you moved your hips ever so slightly, and he didn’t want to keep you waiting.

Still, his hand darted to your nipple first, pinching it softly. His dick throbbed in your hand as you moaned, and one glance was enough to know his next step. He brushed his fingers gently down your chest to your stomach on a sure path to where you wanted him, and in a second, his hand slipped inside your pants.

His eyes focused on you as your wetness guided him, and although he tried not to be rough, his fingers slipped. You instantly gasped and let your head fall back, and his curiosity became untamable. His fingers brushed up and down along your folds, a feather touch opposed to the first contact with your sensitive clit, but you enjoyed it. You squirmed ever so slightly, giving him even more space to touch you however he pleased, and he did.

He took in the way his hand disappeared inside your pants in the same way yours disappeared inside his, both stroking at a slow, exploratory rhythm. While you kept a firm, steady hand from head to base, almost as if not to distract him, he kept focused on your little eyelash flutters and gasps as he discovered every inch of you.

Despite your quiet whimpers, he retreated to your thighs, determined not to leave a single stone unturned. Only when your hand around his dick became impatient did he move back up and touched your slit again, having to close his eyes with how much wetter you were, if that was even possible. 

Your whimpering moans caught him by surprise, and as you breathed heavily, he focused. You weren’t a dream or a fantasy; you were so very real, and he wanted you to enjoy every second with him.

“Tell me how,” he asked gently, grazing over your clit without staying there.

“You don’t know?” You were breathlessly surprised, and he chuckled.

“I don't know how you like it.”

You matched his smile as your hand slowed down around his length. He took that as a positive reaction — you wanted this to last, and so did he.

You bit your lip and turned your face closer to his, whispering, “Can you do it slowly in big circles?”

He instantly changed his touch to match your request, and your reaction was almost instantaneous. Your hips moved against his fingers, and in seconds, you were biting your lip, stifling your moans. He found it curious that you reacted so strongly to such a simple touch, but he knew it was more than that. Your hips were adding to the feeling, not to mention you had to be turned on by his hard dick in your hand. Being half-naked in a public playground might have also contributed, though he wasn’t thinking about any of those details right now. For him, what mattered was how much wetter you were, trying not to squirm under his touch.

“A bit harder,” you breathed, looking at him, and he nibbled his lip ring.

He did as you asked, pressing more firmly, noticing how he wouldn’t touch your clit directly unless when you wanted him to, and you controlled this by moving your hips. He was getting you off under your rules and by the way you were breathing and pumping his cock, he knew you were almost there. He himself would have been cumming soon if not for the fact that he wanted to learn every single detail about you while you felt like this.

Your chest heaved harder as your hand slid alongside his length perfectly, yet your eyes closed as you tried to hide. You turned your face down, bringing it closer to him. He pecked your forehead as you squirmed under his hand, stifling your moans, until you seemed to change your mind. You pressed your lips feverishly to his and he had to redouble his effort to not change the rhythm for you, sliding perfectly around your wet entrance and brushing your clit just like you liked it, again and again, until you gasped.

Your back arched violently, breaking apart your kiss, and letting him see everything as you climaxed. How you moaned softly, letting it echo around you two, as you trembled. Your hips slowed down, and so did his fingers, able to feel your clenching hole enticing the hard dick still in your hand that you were squeezing hard. Fortunately, not hard enough to hurt, but surely enough for you to know how ready he was to feel you closely. Not that he would, but not that he could help thinking about it now that he could imagine how you’d feel cumming around him.

Your whole body relaxed next to him as your hand lost its strength, and he understood. All the sexual tension was gone for you. He brought his lips to your forehead, pecking you as his hand slipped from your pants, hoping you wouldn’t feel pressured to continue. Because if it were up to him, he’d be begging for more, but he hoped you were comfortable enough to do as you pleased. 

You raised your head to meet his lips in a languid kiss, and that intimacy swayed him. He was ready to kiss you until the sun dawned, but you were quick to wrap your fingers firmly around him again, and with a renewed intent this time.

He opened his eyes, meaning to pull away and ask you if you really wanted to continue, but your gaze made his breath catch. You didn’t want to just get him off; you were in charge of the way his pleasure developed, and it brought him straight back to the thick of it.

You were very close to each other, but no longer kissing, so he did something out of instinct — he brought his fingers, still covered in your slick, to his mouth. A small part of him feared he’d weird you out, but somehow he knew you were on the same wavelength.

He groaned with your taste, throbbing in your hand, turned on beyond belief, and your reaction was to pull his hand away and dive in tongue first into his mouth. You both moaned into the kiss, and Jungkook was so beside himself, he didn’t last a minute with you assaulting his mouth like that. It was too much on top of your hand squeezing around the tip of his cock, edging him for all the precum he possibly he had. 

He had to break your kiss apart. You were perfect for him, but— “I’ll cum.”

You smirked. “I hope so, I want to taste you, too.”

Every word sparked him, and looking into your eyes, he was certain you had thought of him before. At least once. In all those years, you had thought of doing this with him before, and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. He wrapped his hand around yours, squeezing your fingers into a fist, and spilled.

Instantly, warm spurts of cum had nowhere to go but to drip in between your fingers, but you didn’t shy away. You pumped him for all he was worth, making him groan and squirm as he held you while you emptied him.

As soon as he was spent, his first instinct was to search for your kiss. Not consuming, not searing, just calming and soothing like the sigh that escaped his lips. Then, he let go of your hand and fell back, ready to bask in that peace when he noticed out the corner of his eye that you took your hand still dripping with his cum to your mouth and licked it.

You closed your eyes, savoring it, and he groaned, so euphoric at that moment, he couldn’t describe it. He rose from the ground to kiss you again, temporarily overriding that newfound peace with his inextinguishable desire for you, until you squirmed and chuckled.

His cum was dripping down your wrist into your sweater and you quickly pulled on your sleeve. “Wait.”

You crawled back out of the tunnel to reach your handbag, and he lay back, relaxedly, letting what just happened wash over him. You two together felt amazing, and it was no longer a fantasy or a dream of his teenage years. He didn’t have to imagine that the two of you would work out together; you just did. 

You sat down at the entrance of the tunnel next to his knees and passed him a tissue so he could clean his hand, which he did absentmindedly as he waited for you to join him again. He didn’t know what the future held, but he’d start by holding you and go from there.

Except you weren’t back yet, so he looked at his feet again. He could see your calves, immediately noticing that you were standing at the tunnel entrance with your handbag nowhere in sight.

“Mimi?”

“I need to go.”

You instantly rushed away out of sight, and he sat up instinctively, hitting his head so hard that the whole plastic tunnel resonated. He rubbed his head as he tried to crawl outside, and when he finally managed to stand up, you were nowhere in sight. 

He quickly shook off the dizziness and ran back to where both your parents lived. He didn’t understand why you would just leave like that, but above all things, he didn’t want any misunderstandings.

When he got on the right street, he ran through your mother’s garden all the way to the front door and raised his hand, but stopped before he knocked. If he did, he’d wake up your parents, and that would create more problems. 

So he nibbled on his lip ring and walked away, throwing your parents’ place a couple of glances before making his way to his parents’. You were safe there, and he knew just where to find you in the morning.

Next Part >

[stevesgother]

emmmm!!!!!!!! i’m thinking “well you are cute, ah! i mean- you’re not cute, but you are? i’m just going to shut up now.” with steve & coworker!reader please and thank you love you mwuah mwuah

oh em gee this is so sweet ! i changed the dialogue of the prompt just a teeny bit but it's still the same idea hope thats okay <3 sfw, fluff, coworker!steve being flustered, fem!reader, two idiots crushing on each other

stumbling

"So," a greasy-haired ginger man leans against the checkout counter in front of you, "What kind of songs do girls like on mixtapes?"

You have to entertain this conversation for the sake of your job, but if someone were to ask, you'd rather be shot. "I dunno, depends on the girl, I guess," you tell him absentmindedly, collecting his change from the cash register. You swear this dude comes in here at least once every other day; it gives you a headache to fathom how much of his paycheck he's spending each week just to torture you with creepy pick-up maneuvers.

"Well, what kind of music do you like?" He lilts.

"Death metal. Is there any else I can help you with today?" You deadpan, hoping your lack of interest in anything that's coming out of his mouth will be enough to get him to leave the damn record store.

"Noted," the man winks, it makes your stomach churn, and you have to try your hardest to school your expression quickly, "I'll see you around then."

The smile you give him isn't in response to his terrible flirting or bad breath, but out of pure relief that he's finally left the building.

"God, that guy is insufferable," Steve laments from where he's reshelving this week's new release vinyls.

"Astute observation, asshole. Would it have killed you to throw me a lifeline?"

"Sorry, you know Cathy doesn't like me scaring off the customers with my charming disposition and devilish good looks," he shrugs, and you hurl a pencil cap eraser at his big block head.

"I just don't understand what I need to do for him to get the goddamn hint. I mean, this is ridiculous, right? Am I overreacting?"

"I mean, I don't know-- is it such an awful thing to be flirted with?" Steve asks, pushing the shelving cart to begin stocking closer to you.

"By that greaseball? Yes."

"Well, you know, you're cute so--" his eyes widen as he realizes the admission he's just made, "I mean-- ah-- i mean, not like that--" Steve stutters, practically tripping over himself. You narrow your eyes at him, gesturing for him to continue making a fool of himself.

"Not that you're not cute, I just mean. What I meant was." He leans against the CD shelf adjacent to him in an attempt to play it cool. Or maybe because suddenly his collar was too tight, and his armpits were sweating and had you turned the heat up when you went on lunch earlier?

"Geez, Harrington, tell me how you really feel," you try to joke though secretly your stomach sinks a little each time he recovers from saying he thinks that you're cute. Steve Harrington, the boy you've had a crush on since junior year, can't even admit that he might find you objectively pretty. Ouch.

With a sudden crash, the entire CD case becomes top heavy and spills its contents all over the floor. Steve's cheeks redden to a bright crimson; he wishes he could go back to three minutes ago and suture his lips shut with the staple gun you've been using for the packages.

"I'm going to just...stop talking. And clean this up." He says timidly, crouching down to collect the scattered merchandise. You abandon your station at the checkout counter to help him; there weren't customers inside anyway.

The two of you pick the shelf up and clean in silence for a few excruciating minutes, the tension brewing between your bodies like a tea kettle, until Steve clears his throat and says, "For the record, I do think you're cute. Beautiful, actually."

You're momentarily stunned at his confession, so he continues, "And if I didn't work here, I'd probably be another one of those losers coming in everyday just to see you," he chuckles, maybe a little self-deprecatingly though you can't understand why.

"You think I'm beautiful?" You breathe in partial disbelief. It's not that you weren't confident in your appearance but hearing it from someone you've admired since you were a teenager feels unbelievable.

"'Course I do," Steve says, deathly serious, "I have eyes. Plus, you're like, super funny. I used to think I was quick witted until I met you."

You're grateful for the wooden barrier of the shelf blocking the way you flush at his words. Once the shelf is picked up and properly arranged again, you make your move: "Hey, um, I was thinking about going to see The Princess Bride tonight? At The Hawk?" You're not sure why you're infecting your voice as if every statement is a question. Nervous habit, you suppose. "Would you wanna come with?"

Steve physically trips over himself again and you're nervous he's about to knock another display case over, "Uh, sure, yeah--definitely." He says, a little too enthusiastically, "Pick you up at eight?"

You can't seem to stop fidgeting with the loose strands of baby hairs curling behind your ears, twirling them around your fingers to give yourself something to focus on other than the way Steve's looking at you now with his big, hazel doe-eyes.

"Yeah, yeah that's perfect," you grin.

[littlegrapejuice]

Grid Mum 4 | MV1

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Reader

Summary: The calm before the storm- and the storm - that was the Miami Grand Prix.

Author's Note: idk what happened but inspo was just gone???? Like the miami gp was just not it and i wasn't motivated at all to write it, esp when i was getting ideas for the next parts given that imola was already happening😭 hope you still enjoy this part, even tho it was made w half love lol

F1 MASTERLIST🏎 | Previous Part | Next Part

You needed a break. Max needed a break.

You both debated going away for a week before the Miami Grand Prix was to happen, but then you decided otherwise. You and Max would simply stay home in Monaco, not putting one foot outside until you would have to leave for the US.

The plan was simple: sleep, eat, drink, watch stupid TV shows, and repeat that every day.

But then, the plan changed when your phone started blowing up.

You and Max had been back for a couple days already, having updated the rookies about your whereabouts and wishing them a good rest before the next race. However, it seemed that they eventually took it as their cue to invade your couple time and transform it into family time.

The first text was from Ollie, wondering if you wanted to have lunch with him after he had finished biking with Carlos.

The second was from Liam, asking if you were free to play some video games.

The third from Kimi, needing a reminder on how to use a maths formula because he couldn’t read his own handwriting.

The fourth from Gabriel, sending you a recipe that you could try together.

The fifth from Isack, just wanting to visit you.

And the sixth from Jack, offering you to join him on a shopping trip.

You were about to reply to all of them, until Max stole your phone and started typing.

“You better be nice to them!” You warned Max, trying to read what he was writing.

“I always am”, he claimed while hiding the screen away from you. “Please, don’t contact my girlfriend anymore during our break. You’ll see her next week in Miami”, Max read out loud as he typed the words. “And I signed my name, obviously.”

“Obviously”, you repeated as you rolled your eyes. “I would enjoy seeing them, though. You know that?”

“I know, yeah.” Max handed you your phone back, leaning back on the couch as he glanced at you. “But focus on me for the next few days, please?”

It was hard to refuse his request when he was looking at you with such love in his eyes, his voice soft and almost pleading. You had to admit that spending some peaceful and romantic time with Max sounded perfect right now – exactly what you needed after the triple header.

And Max was right, you could always wait until Miami to see the rookies.

But it seemed like they couldn’t wait until then.

After texting each other in a groupchat you weren’t a part of, they agreed to give you a couple days of rest alone. Then, some of them decided that they missed you a bit too much. So that’s why one evening, you ended up with a facetime from Ollie and Gabriel.

“Hello!” Ollie said as soon as he saw your face on his screen. He turned his phone to the side for a second, showing Gabriel who waved at you. “I hope I’m not bothering you by calling, but we have a slight issue.”

“Hi, you’re not bothering at all. Everything alright?” You noticed that Ollie and Gabriel were outside, and wondered if they were having a problem in the streets of Monaco.

“You can’t be mad,” Ollie warned.

“Why would I be?” Straightening up on the couch, you were almost getting worried.

“We wanted to surprise you with dinner”, Gabriel explained as he re-entered the frame, “but we got lost.”

“Lost? Wait, we’ll circle back to the dinner thing after. But what do you mean you’re lost?”

“Well…” Ollie scratched the back of his neck, seemingly nervous. “I asked Liam for your address, and he didn’t really give it. Like–”

“He just gave us directions from Ollie’s place, but I think we took a wrong turn somewhere.”

“How do you even get lost in Monaco?” Max, who had just appeared behind you, asked. He had his arms crossed, and raised an eyebrow at the rookies.

“Give them a break, Max.” You then focused back on Ollie and Gabriel. “He’s not wrong, though. Kinda hard to get lost in such a small city.”

“Not our proudest moment for sure”, Gabriel admitted.

A silence then settled for a few seconds, as you debated over your next course of actions. While you were thinking, the rookies were already expecting you to tell them to go home and forget about their surprise dinner. But you thought about how sweet it was of them, and decided to welcome them to your home after you exchanged a glance of confirmation with Max.

“Tell you what: Gabriel, I’ll text you my address and you look it up. Ollie, you stay on the phone with me and I’ll guide you if necessary. Does that sound good?”

“Yes, thank you so much!” Ollie’s smile was bright and wide on your screen. “You won’t regret it, I promise.”

“I’ll set the table, then”. Max sighed and then left from where he had been standing behind you, walking to the kitchen.

For the next ten minutes or so, you stayed on facetime with Ollie. You could hear Gabriel guiding him through the streets of Monaco, occasionally confirming to him that it was the right way. Then, the two rookies eventually arrived in front of your building and you hung up before ringing them in.

It seemed that they hadn’t been lying about their so-called surprise dinner, as you noticed that they both had their hands full with bags when they entered. You helped them settle everything down on the counter, putting out the food as they listed what they had brought.

“Okay, so I made mini pizzas. Like loads of them with different garnitures, we just gotta cook them. I also brought muffins – Liam recommended a place where he bought some when he was here.”

“Thank you so much, Ollie.” You smiled at him, before handing the pizzas to Max for him to put them in the oven.

“And I brought feijoada, which my mum helped me make. It’s a specialty from back home,” Gabriel explained.

“Okay, wow. This all sounds great, thank you boys.” You didn’t think your smile could get bigger, but it did. “Go sit down if you want, Max and I will finish preparing everything.”

“You’re sure?” Gabriel asked. “We can help.”

“Yeah, we definitely can!” Ollie agreed with a passionate nod.

“It’s fine, don't worry. Just go and watch some TV,” Max told them as he motioned to the living-room. “We’ll take care of the rest, thanks for the food.”

“No problem”, Ollie said before he and Gabriel went to sit on the couch.

The rookies observed the room, trying to look for every little detail that would help them know more about you and Max. They obviously noticed the rather out-of-place simulator, which was a harsh contrast to the carefully decorated shelf next to it. They saw that there were a lot of pictures of you and Max throughout the years, amongst which a few seemed to have been taken during race weekends.

After they had analysed almost every picture depicting yours and Max’s love story, they decided to follow Max’s instructions and turned on the TV to find something to watch while waiting for the food to heat. Meanwhile, you and Max were still in the kitchen.

“So much for a bit of peace before Miami,” Max mumbled into your shoulder as he hugged you from behind.

“I know, I’m sorry. But how could I have refused when they just wanted to get dinner with us?”

“It’s okay,” Max assured you. “They’re lucky they didn’t try to pull this move last week because you were all mine.”

“I’m always yours, though. You know that,” you reminded him as you turned around to face him.

“Except when I have to share you with the kids”, Max said. His arms were around your waist, which helped him pull you closer to him.

“Even then, I’m still yours.” Your tone was soft and loving, almost making Max fall all over again for you. You gave him a kiss during which you felt him smile against your lips, before you escaped his hold. “Gonna check on the food, wait.”

Max leaned back against the counter as he observed you making your way around the kitchen, opening the oven and carefully looking at the food as if it would tell you itself that it was ready. You confirmed to Max that it was indeed good to go, and you both brought the food to the table.

“What are you kids watching?” Max asked as he stood behind the couch where Ollie and Gabriel were sitting.

“Still channel-hopping,” Gabriel replied. “We’ll just turn off the TV anyways if we’re eating.”

“Wait, no. Check the sports channel first,” you requested.

The Brazilian driver did as he was told, suddenly aware of how focused you were on the TV as you were waiting to see what was on. A couple seconds later, burnt orange filled the screen as the sound of applause could be heard.

“Okay, that seems like a good one.” You quickly sat down next to Ollie, waiting to see more info about what was happening. “Food is ready, by the way. So we can eat after they finally show who the hell is playing.”

Fortunately for you, and unfortunately for the drivers, there was a tennis match ongoing. As soon as you were aware of the current score and watched a couple points, you reluctantly got up from the couch and made your way to the table – your eyes weren’t leaving the TV and Max knew he now had to explain your attitude to the rookies.

“We’re done for, guys.” Max sighed, as he shook his head with a smile on his face. “She won’t pay attention to us if there’s tennis.”

“That’s a lie!” You denied. “I’ll talk to you during changeovers”, you told them with an innocent smile.

“Do you like those players?” Ollie wondered. “I never knew you followed tennis.”

“Because I have to pretend to like the padel you all seem to enjoy so much.” You tried to be dramatic, but there was honestly a part of truth. Padel wasn’t as entertaining as tennis to you, and you were definitely complaining everytime Max wanted to talk to you about it. “Tennis is superior, and you need to realise it.”

“You’re very passionate about it”, Gabriel pointed out.

“Trust me, she is. I remember when Sinner was in Abu Dhabi last year, she begged me to arrange a meeting between them.” Max was teasing you, never planning on letting you live this down.

“Because you were literally hiding the fact that you had met him!” You reminded him. “I had to hear about it from Oscar, who casually mentions my favourite player is in the same paddock as me.”

“Oh, I met him too!” Ollie added. “He’s such a nice guy, really cool too!”

“And that’s why he’s my back-up plan if Max ever leaves me. Those two would be as well if they weren’t happily taken,” you said as you pointed to the TV where Ruud and Fritz were playing.

“Once again, I am not planning on ever leaving you because you are happily taken too”

“You better not,” Gabriel warned. “We’ll take her side anyway.”

“True”, Ollie agreed with a confident nod.

You laughed at the support the rookies were showing you, knowing that you would win custody against Max. Not that you would ever have to fight him for it, because Max would soon make sure that you were tied to him for life.

Although it had become kind of a late dinner due to Ollie and Gabriel getting lost, the four of you still enjoyed the food while the tennis match was playing in the background. You thanked the rookies for taking the time to cook, complimenting their skills that easily surpassed Max’s – he tried to accuse you of lying, but you both knew that Max was a good cook only if you were not far away from him and the dish was simple enough.

If anyone were to observe the scene that was taking place, they could only be able to guess that you were a real family. You and Max might be seen as very young parents, probably victims of teen pregnancy, but the love and care that you were giving the rookies would be extremely obvious to everyone around you.

You thought that you would only be talking about racing with three drivers sitting at the table, but you realised that you had more in common as you all shared bits and pieces of information about your respective lives. The rookies told you about their girlfriends with wide smiles, and Gabriel promised to introduce you to his in Miami. You told them about the first time you went on Max’s jet, still unable to properly register how normal it was for him.

The atmosphere was warm and light-hearted just like when Jack and Liam had been here, but this was still a unique moment. A moment that would only belong to you, Max, Ollie, and Gabriel.

…..

It was quite late when you were done with dinner. You were munching on the last muffin – the three men having silently agreed on leaving it for you – as you noticed the time.

“We won’t have any right to complain about the new timezone if we don’t make any effort to rest before having to adjust to it”, you pointed out.

“I’m comfortable here, though. But I hate that you’re right”, Ollie sighed as he reluctantly got up.

“You’ll come to realise that she’s always right”, Max joked.

“I already realised that you are always on her side”, Gabriel said.

“Because it’s either I’m right or he’s wrong”, you explained. Seeing the gears turning in Ollie’s and Gabriel’s heads was hilarious as they tried to understand your words. “Do you want us to walk you back? Monaco’s pretty safe but I wouldn’t want you to get lost, again.”

“We should be fine”, Ollie assured.

“I’ll walk you back, don’t worry. That’ll be the post-meal physical activity”, Max said as he stretched his arms.

“I’m coming too, then. Nothing like a good late-night walk.” You were ready to put on your shoes like the drivers, until Max stopped you.

“You can stay here,” Max told you. “Finish watching your little match and tell me all about it when I’m back, okay? I’ll bring them home safely.”

You nodded, before kissing Max on the cheek and hugging the rookies goodbye. They thanked you for the hundredth time to have welcomed them into your home, and wished you a good night. You would next see them in Miami for the upcoming race weekend, hoping that this one would be good to them.

When the drivers left, you immediately went back to watching tennis as told by your boyfriend while he led Ollie and Gabriel in the streets of Monaco.

“Sorry if it annoyed you that we came tonight,” Gabriel eventually said. “We just wanted to spend time with you and her.”

“Mostly her,” Ollie added with a teasing tone. “But yeah, I know we were supposed to wait until Miami.”

“Which we absolutely didn’t”, Gabriel concluded.

“I would have refused if I didn’t want you there,” Max told them. “I know I was all grumpy about it last week, but tonight was actually nice. And it makes her happy as well to see you, so I won’t go against that. Plus, the food was great so thanks for that because we were actually ordering way too much take out recently.”

“Next time, we’ll call before we go out and not while we’re in the middle of going to yours.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Max put his arms around Gabriel’s shoulders. “Or I’ll tell Fernando to drop you, I don’t know.”

“You do know you don’t sound really threatening right now?” Ollie pointed out.

“Because I’m not trying to be,” Max admitted.

This was the type of conversation Max enjoyed having with the rookies: pretending to be a bit mad with their overwhelming presence when he was actually soft around them, almost showing them more love than you did. But Ollie and Gabriel knew that Max was being genuine. They had eventually heard a bit more from Liam and Jack’s dinner, which confirmed that it was just Max’s personality.

It highlighted how well you and Max worked together: you were the extroverted one and he was more introverted, but deep down you were both the same. Max was more subtle: he didn’t use his words as much as you did, rather showing things through actions that could sometimes go unnoticed. You loved loudly and proudly, while he did it more quietly in ways that felt just as meaningful.

And this was how it went with the rookies, which was something they wouldn’t trade for anything else in the world.

…..

If anyone asked you how you would describe Miami this year, you would answer that it was… eventful.

And not necessarily in a good way.

It had started somehow fine.

Although flashy and packed with celebrities, the atmosphere was one of your favourites. Sure, you didn’t think that three races in the US were needed; but they knew how to bring out good vibes.

Friday had gone particularly well; you were especially happy for Max and Isack, but even more for Kimi. After a good FP1 session, Kimi had become the youngest pole sitter in the history of Formula 1 during the Sprint Qualifying. Barely four hundredths were putting him in front of Oscar, and you could only hope that Kimi wouldn’t trample down the grid to get his first F1 podium.

“I’m so so proud of you Kimi”, you had told him once he was done with his interviews. “That’s a huge achievement, congrats!”

“Thank you!” Kimi was beaming with happiness, over the moon due to his performance. “I don’t know if I can keep the lead tomorrow, but I’ll try my best to at least stay within points.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great,” you encouraged him.

“Also, small request: can you tell your boyfriend to let me get a podium?” Kimi was mostly joking, but he knew he would be under threat from Max who was starting right behind the two McLaren.

“I could try, but no promises.” You chuckled at Kimi’s words, knowing that Max would do everything in his power to get above his starting position and you couldn’t do anything against it.

For once in your life, you were clearly going to be supporting someone other than Max. Kimi definitely deserved his sprint pole, and he was also absolutely deserving of a win one day. Maybe it wouldn’t happen in his rookie year, but points had been a constant result for him and a podium was therefore at least possible before the end of the season.

Still, you would obviously be rooting for your boyfriend too and that’s what you did on the next day during the sprint race. But then, everything went downhill: Red Bull messed up Max's pit stop, which led him to an unsafe release as he slightly collided with Kimi who was in the pit lane to box as well.

You couldn’t help but wince as the TV showed the replay of the incident, and you hoped that it wasn’t going to put either of them at a disadvantage given that Kimi hadn’t had the opportunity to actually change his tyres. Even if it hadn’t been Max’s fault, he would still get penalised from his team’s mistake and that would eventually lead to the less than glorious result that was P17.

Safe to say, Miami wasn’t treating your boyfriend nor the rookies well for now. The groan you let out when you saw Max’s name dropping to the last place was filled with annoyance at Red Bull, as you cursed them in your head. Due to the safety car that had been triggered by Alonso crashing a couple laps before the end, the gaps had been so close between everyone that Max didn’t have a chance of at least staying in points.

The weekend hadn’t really started as a lucky one for Max. But fortunately, he proved to everyone that he was still at the top of his game when he put his car on pole later in the afternoon during qualifying. The margins were really close between Max and the cars behind – barely a few hundreds of a second separating each driver. Kimi would eventually get another chance at a podium, starting P3 on the grid, while the rest of the rookies were scattered once again outside of points.

You wanted to be hopeful, wishing for your boyfriend and grid kids to have a good race. Max would get a second opportunity at winning something in Miami this weekend, and Gabriel would be ever so close to finally scoring points as he had reached his first Q2 of the season.

You wanted everyone to do well, you really did.

…..

However, things didn’t go as you wished and you were now clearly unwell after the race – it almost made you think that you were actually cursing the drivers with your hopes and support.

Max going from pole position to right outside the podium was something – the McLaren were in a whole other league this weekend, but four out of the six rookies DNFing was worse. You didn’t think a race this year would be as traumatising as Melbourne, and yet here you were in Miami.

Thankfully, everyone was physically fine. It was the mentally part that you couldn’t be sure about, though. It was really a sharp contrast from the joy the drivers had all felt earlier during the Lego cars race that had replaced the traditional drivers’ parade. They had all been so happy, having fun like little kids opening their presents on Christmas day.

And now, it almost seemed like they had spent a day experiencing the horrors of Ferrari with how down they all were.

“I wish we were legal so you could take us out drinking”, Ollie told you with a sigh. “We need to drown our sorrows in alcohol.”

“Even if you were, we’re not getting drunk to forget the race. Usually we get drunk to celebrate the race,” you clarified.

“Then we get drunk to celebrate my P6?” Kimi suggested.

“Shouldn’t you be working on your homework instead?” Liam teased. “It’s almost past your bedtime, and you wanna be drinking.”

The other rookies snickered at Liam’s words, while Kimi frowned.

“Says the guy who didn’t even finish the race…” Kimi mumbled, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Okay, that’s it. No race talk anymore”, you warned. You weren’t about to hear any more comments about the race results, knowing that they could still hurt some of the drivers even when disguised as a joke. “We’re not going out to drink. I think we all need a good night of sleep, so I suggest you get back to your hotel rooms and rest. Is that okay with everyone?”

“Yes, mum.”

Despite their voices being filled with sarcasm, you couldn’t help the smile that appeared on your face. You would never dare consider yourself their actual parent, but being their grid mum always left a warm feeling in your chest whenever you remembered that they actually enjoyed your presence.

After agreeing to get some sleep – and also realising that they definitely had early flights the next day, the rookies reluctantly left you alone. Bidding them goodbye, you didn’t hesitate to give a longer hug to the ones who’d had unlucky races. You could feel the way they were holding you a bit tighter than the others, not really wanting to let go of the comfort you were providing them.

Now alone, you decided to find Max. He had told you earlier after the race how he wanted to spend a bit of time on his own, which you didn’t mind. It only took him one second to answer your call, and the loud background noise that could be heard made you think that he wasn’t on his own anymore.

“So much for alone time?” You rhetorically asked with a scoff.

“Well, Lando and George were quite persuasive. Wanna join us? I could really use some moral support after this difficult weekend.” Max’s tone could only indicate that he was exaggerating, as a dramatic sigh left his mouth.

“You’re asking so nicely, how could I say no? Text me your location and I’ll be there when I can,” you told Max. Looking down at your outfit, you figured it could survive a longer night than planned.

Max was over the moon when he saw you walk up to him – the alcohol in his blood definitely made him happier – and you were immediately engulfed into a hug when you were within his reach. Chuckling at his attitude, you then didn’t hesitate to kiss back when Max’s lips were suddenly on yours.

“No PDA tonight, please.” Lando’s voice interrupted your kiss with Max. Putting an arm around your shoulders, Lando tried to pull you away from your needy boyfriend. “You, my friend, are going to be drinking the night away with us. The party can finally start now that we have the better Verstappen here!”

“She’s not a Verstappen yet, Lando.”

“Yet?” You repeated with a smirk. “You plan on marrying me one day, then?”

“Of course, I’d be dumb not to.”

If you and Max were having this conversation just the two of you in a quiet place, maybe it would’ve been romantic. But the loud music combined with Max being more than tipsy, as well as Lando third-wheeling, just made the moment funny to you.

“Glad we’ve cleared up the obvious,” Lando said in reference to you and Max being married in the future. “Now, it’s time to have fun!”

Finally pulling you away from Max, Lando led you towards the bar where George already was.

One shot turned into two, then three. Soon enough, you weren’t really counting anymore and were simply enjoying the night. You danced with Lando – terrible dancer when sober and even worse when drunk, then with George – you had to admit he had some moves, before finding yourself in Max’s arms once again.

You were definitely having the most fun ever. It was always chaotic to party with drivers, but you didn’t care about how loud the music was or how drunk you were getting when the atmosphere was just the right one.

And maybe you would regret it the next morning, especially when your head would be throbbing in pain, but for now you weren’t thinking about the consequences.

Except that one consequence would eventually be a dozen texts from the rookies who had seen you partying – courtesy of Lando who had posted pictures – after you had told them to go to sleep early.

So much for resting

Hope the hungover was worth lying to your KIDS – Gabi

“Good night of sleep” she said🙄 – Liam

Can’t believe that “WE are not going out drinking” was actually just meant for us – Kimi

That’s like next level betrayal💔💔

We might forgive, but we won’t forget – Ollie

Unbelievable… – Isack

The fact that I was legally allowed to come with you – Jack

..........

Next one should be out before monaco, and it'll be a v short part focused on jack after he got sacked by alpine (I'm still sad and heartbroken for him😔)

Taglist: @umm-i-love-u @callsign-mirage @freyathehuntress @elieanana @suns3treading @fastandcurious16 @l3thal-l0lita

Thank you sm for reading🫶🏻🫶🏻 hope you liked this chap!!

Don't hesitate to like, reblog, or comment<3 also you can request some stuff you'd want to happen next and I'll do my best to include it if it works w what i planned to write :)

See you soon, take care of yourselves, love y'all xx

[princess35azzi]

you never see it coming 'cause you're blinded from the start

Hiiiii friends.... I don't know what this is tbh. I am just so grateful for all the love yall gave my first fic. I have been thinking a lot about writing Azzi and Paige's relationship at different stages. I hope you enjoy this one. Let me know if you have any prompts or ideas you would like to see me try? I am having fun trying to write fanfic. Can't promise is good but hope you enjoy it.

the first look

Paige sat cross-legged on the hardwood floor, stretching her legs and half listening to the coaches shout about drills. She could smell the nerves of everyone around her—her favorite smell before a big game or big moment. She thrived in this environment. She scanned the court casually, trying to scope out the competition.

That's when it happened.

A girl—no, the girl— draining a three from the wing line like it was the easiest thing in the world. Curls bouncing perfectly, face pure concentration, her form perfect and effortless. Paige blinked. She had never seen her before. She would remember those big brown eyes. Those perfect curls. And there was no way Paige had looked at the dimples uncovered by her smile and not remembered.

The girl turned, effortlessly, jogging back on defense, curls bouncing with each step. She saw her smile at another girl and that is when she felt it. Her heart stuttered.

what the hell was that?

Paige pressed her hand flat on her chest willing it to quiet down...to go back to its steady pace. But it didn't. The moment the girl was running towards her she could feel it...her palms were sweaty. Her pulse thudded in her ears. Her heart beating fast against her ribcage. Pure adrenaline. She had never felt this with a boy or a girl, but definitely not a boy. The closest thing she had ever felt to this feeling was a game-winning buzzer beater.

She pressed her hands flat to the floor like it might steady her. Maybe I'm just nervous. She told herself that, but her body knew otherwise. Her cheeks were burning. Her palms sweaty. She wanted to walk up to the girl, introduce herself, say a joke that brought out her dimples, compliment her shot. Say anything that would make her look at her.

That was the start of it all for Paige. The first moment she craved Azzi Fudd's attention like her life depended on the warmth of her stare.

I was made and meant to look for you

Paige prided herself in how fearless she was. She always took the shot. She always believed it was going in until proven otherwise. She believe she was the best shooter. No doubts about it. But the last few days she had to admit she was everything but fearless. She woke up every day telling herself that this was the day she was asking Azzi Fudd for her number. They had exchanged a couple of conversations. Always complimenting each other. Always in awe of a natural chemistry that allowed them to explode their talent on the court. But every time Paige thought about asking her for her number the words would get stuck in her throat.

And now, here she was running to board her flight back to Minnesota. Knowing she likely missed her change getting Azzi's number. Already trying to hype herself up to follow her on instagram.

Paige dragged her suitcase behind her, her legs still sore from the last two weeks of workouts. She felt that soft ache of exhaustion — the good kind— like every muscle in her body had worked for something worth having and remembering.

As she moved down the narrow plane aisle, earbuds in but nothing playing, she glanced up out of habit. A few roads ahead, he eyes caught a familiar shaped— curly hair pulled into a bun, a goodie bunched at her neck. Azzi.

Her heart did that little stuttered she had grown used every time Azzi was near. It felt like when static shocked her in the winter. Knowing it was bound to happen, but still shocked at her body's reaction to the electricity.

Yep. There she was. A few rows back on the other side, window seat. Empty seat next to her.

She was not one for praying. But she found herself thinking please, please, please let the seat next to her be open.

She almost walked past her. Pretended she didn't see her. Avoided the potential awkwardness of fumbling through conversation for the next 8 hours. But she couldn't. This was her chance. And she knew in that airplane's hallway that this would mark a before and after in her life.

Azzi looked up. Her eyes lit up. "Paige?" Paige gave what she hoped was a cual smile, "hey...mind if I—?

"No, sit!" Azzi scooted over quickly, like she had been hoping for the same outcome. Paige released the breath she didn't realize she was holding.

Azzi broke the silence, "you were crazy good at trials...never seen anything like it."

Paige smiled, the apples of her cheeks in full display and a faint blush making an appearance. "Thank you. Appreciate it. But you were unstoppable. Not a flaw in your game. You're like a princess of basketball."

Paige knows she talked Azzi's ears off during the entire 8 hours flight. They talked about everything. How nervous they had been about the trial. Their families. Azzi told her about her parents and how her mom and dad taught her everything she knows about basketball. And Paige told her about her younger siblings and how much she loved being a big sister. She told her about how Minnesota winters were brutal but gave the most beautiful sunsets and sunrises. She made her laugh.

Every time Paige made Azzi laugh she swore it echoed right through her ribs and lodged itself in the little cavities of her heart.

At one point Paige leaned her head back against her seat and tilted it towards Azzi. Both their arms resting in the armrest. "This is nice," she said, so quietly she wasn't even sure Azzi heard her.

Azzi stayed quiet for a couple of seconds and then softly said: "Yeah. it really is."

For the first time in two weeks they both felt they didn't need to prove anything. Azzi was not overthinking her next steps. Paige was not feeling the pressure of every breath.

This time Paige did not miss the opportunity to grab Azzi's number.

That very night she laid in her childhood bed realizing that since the moment she set eyes on Azzi she hadn't stopped thinking about her. She thought back to all the times her friends had tried to explain this feeling when they told her about their crushes on boys. How they told her they would sit by their phones waiting for a text or how they would agonize about what to text them first.

This was the first time Paige felt that feeling. She had spent the last hour looking at the blinking cursor on her phone "Hi Az, hope u are having a good time with ur grandparents. I miss u...is that crazy?"

i shouldn't be jealous you aren't even mine

Paige's senior year had been ruined by COVID. She might never admit it outloud but it had also been the best year of her life? In a truly miracle event Azzi and Paige had convinced their parents to let Paige quarantine with the Fudds. Seeing Azzi every day had only been a possibility in Paige's wildest dreams. Dreams where they attended Uconn together. Dreams where she saw herself holding her hand and being more than friends.

They were sitting on the floor of Azzi's room, backs against the bed, socks half on after their backyard one-on-one. Paige crashing out about losing a game of HORSE. Azzi looking at her similing and dimples out "relax...there is no need for you to be this dramatic."

Paige let out a dramatic sigh "you are a cheater...tomorrow I want my rematch."

Azzi scoffed. They remained sprawled out, shoulders brushing every so often, Paige's playlist playing in the background. Azzi was scrolling through her phone. Paige was trying not to look like she was staring. She was trying and failing.

A name lit up Azzi's screen: Kyle

Paige didn't realize she was holding her breath until Azzi picked up the phone, thumbed the notification away, and said casually, "He's so annoying."

Paige tried to sound casual. "Who?"

Azzi smiled just a bit, "this guy I volunteered with at camp. He's been texting a lot lately."

"Oh."

Azzi glanced at her, her eyes searching for something, "he asked me out."

Something in Paige went quiet. Her throat felt suddenly dry. Her ears buzzing. The air became thick.

"Oh. umm...do you...have you...do you like him?" she asked quietely bracing herself for Azzi's reply.

Azzi stared at her smiling softly and shaking her head, "i ...i don't know...i might like someone else it doesn't leave much room for thinking about others."

Paige's heart felt like it was dislodging from her chest. She tried her hardest to control her face. Tried to smile. To stay unreadable.

"someone else, huh?" she joked, voice light but forced. "You've never mentioned anyone?"

Azzi sat playing with the cords of her hoodie between her fingers, eyes on the floor, not meeting her gaze.

"I don't know if she would ever see me that way."

Paige felt the buzzing in her ears intensify. Her heart beating out of her chest. Her palms sweating. She felt like her world had shifted. Azzi. Her Azzi. Liked girls?

She was afraid to ask but still offered, "do you wanna talk about it? she asked softly.

Azzi hesitated. Holding her eyes for a couple of seconds. "It's complicated." she said.

Paige swallowed hard. Taking a deep breath she stretch her head a little. Brushing her pinky against Azzi's. She held it while her thumb rubbed over it.

Paige knew it in that moment. That Azzi's confession about liking a girl shed light into what they had become over the last year. The late-night, early morning, midday, any available minute Facetimes. The way they always touched and reached for one another, always a second longer than necessary. The way Paige dreamed about her and woke up with her name stuck in her chest. The way her breath caught in her throat every time Azzi was close enough for her to smell her vanilla and coconut lotion.

"Well," Paige said picking at a loose thread in the carpet, "whoever she is...she is lucky?

"Yeah?" said Azzi finally glancing at those blue eyes. Her smile small and unsure.

Paige nodded. "Azzi. You are extraordinary. Impossible not to like."

The beat of silenced stretched between them, quiet and tender, like something was about to be born— or broken.

you got me kissing the ground

Azzi has committed to Uconn and Paige thinks it might be the best day of her life.

The gym was empty, the air still warm from the earlier drills, smelling like the rubber soles and sweat around. Paige kind of loved it here— the quiet moment after all the noise. The calm earned by exhaustion.

She and Azzi lay side by side at the half court, both sprawled out on their backs, breathing hard from a one-on-one that had ended with Paige collapsing dramatically and yelling, "I am dead. You officially have killed me."

Azzi's soft laugh echoing in the quietness. "You are a drama queen, Bueckers. What would people say if they knew I had you begging for forgiveness? I thought I was going to Uconn to play with the baddest of them all"

Paige laughed softly turning to look at her. They were so close their shoulders were touching each other. Paige reached out hesitantly, and hooked her pinky around Azzi's.

Azzi didn't pull away.

Paige stared up at the ceiling. "You ever feel like the world's just...too much sometimes?"

Azzi hummed quietly.

"And then..." Paige's voice cracked a little, but kept going, eyes fixed on the ceiling lights, "then you're with someone and the noise stops? Just for a bit. Everything slows down. It's quiet...and you can breathe again?:

Azzi turned her head, facing her now. Their pinkies still linked.

"That's how I feel when I am with you," Paige whispered. "Like I don't have to try to be anything else. Like being just me is enough for once."

Azzi's eyes glistened, her mouth parting like she wanted to say something.

"Being with you feels like the first time I ever played basketball."

Paige turned her head, breath catching, "yeah?"

Azzi nodded slowly. "All nerves. Sweaty hands. Fast heartbeats. Like I know its right...but still scares the hell out of me...like—"

Paige can't help anymore. She leaned in, interrupting her, hand brushing against Azzi's jaw and her breath warm against her lips. It was slow but sure, hungry in a way that had nothing to do with urgency and everything to do with the fact that she had been waiting years to feel the pillowy feel of Azzi's lips between her own. Azzi kissed her back like she had been waiting just as long.

When they parted, barely an inch between them, Paige whispered, "You taste like Gatorate."

Azzi laughed, soft and breathy, lips capturing Paige's again biting lightly. "You're not complaining."

"I really, really am not." she breathed while she dragged Azzi onto her lap.

friends don't kiss and rip you apart

It continues like the most natural thing in the world. After that first kiss, it was impossible to stop.

The touches lingered too long. Looks that said too much. Late-night visits that ended with lips brushing and hands roaming, their bodies closer than either of them would admit come daylight.

Paige showing up at Azzi's suite late at night, hoodie pulled over her head, pretending she just wanted to watch film or grab a snack, listen to music...Azzi would let her in without a word, already knowing they would end entangled limps, muffled giggles, a shared shaky breath in the dark.

It wasn't just physical. But they tried to convinced themselves it was. Until they couldn't. They thought they could handle it. They thought they were protecting each other from all their flaws. Until they couldn't.

It started breaking quietly, like a floorboard bending under too much weight. A sideway glance at a party. An unanswered text.

The worst came one night.

The lights in Paige's room were low, Paige's playlist filling the silence. Azzi stood near the door, jacket still on, hands clenched at her sides.

She hadn't sat down.

Paige could feel her pacing energy from across the room, even without looking up. She pretended not to be terrified by the fact that for the first time ever she didn't know what to do to quiet Azzi's mind. To bring calm to her. All she had been able to do lately is bring her pain.

Azzi finally spoke. "I can't keep doing this."

Paige closed her laptop. Her throat tightened. "Doing what, Azzi?"

Azzi gave her a short and humorless laugh. "Exactly this. Pretending we are fine. Pretending this is casual when it's not. At least not for me."

Paige stood "We said no feelings, Az."

"You said no feelings," Azzi snapped. "And I agreed because I thought...maybe...maybe you just needed time to figure things out. But it's been months, Paige. And all I get from you are these pieces of you. You pull me close enough to taste something real and then you disappear again."

Paige paced the small area of her room, restless. "It's not about you. You're...you've always been everything...I just...Azzi...I just don't want to burn us. I don't want to burn you with...everything just everything always ends. I could not handle losing you forever....not you."

"That's the problem," Azzi said, her voice quieter now. "You don't believe you deserve this. Us. You hide behind the team, the pressure, or whatever version of yourself you think I'd be better off without."

"Maybe is for the best" she says as she looks down.

Azzi stares at her, her jaw clenched. "Do you even want me? Or do you just want me when its convenient —when the gym is empty and your head is too loud and I am the only one that knows how to quiet it down?"

Paige's silence is enough.

Azzi steps back like she's been shocked. "I can't love someone who won't love me back. Who won't fight for me."

And she leaves.

the post-mortem

It had been weeks since Azzi stormed out of her room. To most people they were doing okay. Or at least pretending to be okay.

Paige and Azzi still passed each other water bottles at practice. On the court they were still tethered to one another. They still sat next to each other on the bench, knees bumping, pretending it meant nothing. Pretending they could go back to a version of them that no longest existed.

It was clean. It was safe.

Until it wasn't.

Four months after Azzi walked out of her room with her heart.

The team had gone out for a post-win hangout at Ted's. Nothing crazy, just music, fries, and a couple of dirty shirleys. Paige had been leaning against the wall, drink in hand, half-listening to Nika talk about some viral video when her eyes locked on the scene across the room.

Curly hair pulled into half-up ponytail, her laugh cutting through the thrum of music and chatter like it always did. She was standing with Ice and KK near the bar. One of the softball girls was talking to her. Blonde. Predictably. Azzi had a type apparently. Baseball cap flipped backwards. Hand on Azzi's arm.

Paige's stomach flipped. And she knew it was not from mixing her drinks.

She downed the rest of her drink burning down her throat.

Nika appeared beside her, looking concerned. "You good?"

"Totally," Paige said, her voice loud and too bright. "So so good, Nika"

Carolina gave her a sideways glance. "that your fourth drink?"

"Fifth" Paige said, raising the empty cup like a toast. "Who's counting?"

"You're a lightweight," Nika muttered gently taking the cup from her hands. "Why don't we get you some water...whats going on?"

Paige didn't speak. She didn't have to. They followed her gaze.

Azzi still laughing. The blonde girl leaning closer.

Paige tore her eyes away and pushed off the wall. "I am going outside"

Caroline held her arm "You sure? We can go home."

"Nope. I'm chill" Paige forced a smile " I just need...I am just gonna— need air."

Outside, the cool air hit her like a slap. She wasn't sure if the cold air or the tightness on her chest were making it hard to breathe. She sat down on the stairs, elbows on her knees, head in her hands.

She had made a mess of the most beautiful thing she ever had.

You don't get to be mad, she told herself. You said she deserved better. You told her no feelings. You told her you didn't know what to do with all her love.

But she was mad. Mad and hurting and so in love it was tearing her chest open.

Paige went back inside. And she should have known better. This night was never going to end well for her.

Nika was holding her up on one side, Caroline on the other, both of them exchanging looks over Paige's head like what the fuck are we supposed to do with her.

"She's never like this," Carlina muttered.

"She is having a hard time with...well you know" Nike said

Azzi trailed behind them arms crossed over her chest, jaw clenched.

She knew.

They finally got Paige up the steps to her apartment, the keys fumbled from her hoodie.

"Alright, Bueckers, you little superstar," Nike said as they shuffled inside. "Time to sit before you faceplant on the carpet."

Paige stumbled onto the couch and mumbled something about the room spinning too fast.

"I will get her water," Caroline offered, disappearing into the kitchen.

"I got her," Azzi said quietly.

"I got her", she repeated quietly.

Nike hesitated, then nodded. "Call us if you need anything."

Finally, alone. Azzi knelt in front of Paige, who was now slouched over, tugging at the bottom of her Uconn hoodie like it offended her.

"I'm hot" Paige complained.

"Okay" Azzi said gently, "lets get you into some pijamas"

She helped her sit up and peeled the hoodie over her head. Paige didn't fight, just blinked with bleary eyes. Azzi tried not to look at the way her fingers trembled as she helped her out of the rest of her clothes and into an oversized t-shirt. One of Azzi's favorite. The memory like pouring salt on a very tender wound.

"You're so good to me," whispered Paige as Azzi helped her onto her bed.

Paige closed her eyes. Azzi couldn't help but brush the hair away from her forehead. She leaned in and gave her a small kiss on the forehead. She missed her so much. It broke her to see her this way.

As Azzi turned to leave the room Paige lifted her head turning it towards the door and whispered "Azzi..." Azzi turned to look at her "Azzi...I hate you. I wish you never came to Uconn. I wish you never made me love you."

If you jump, I jump

The sun cracked through the blinds like a punishment.

Paige groaned, rolling over in her bed, her head pounding and her mouth dry. She felt like she had ran 100 miles. And then slowly— worse than any hangover— the memories of the night before.

The bar. The girl. Azzi.

Azzi, I hate you.

She sat up too fast, heart lurching, guilt settling in the pit of her stomach, despair crashing into her chest with the weight of everything she said to Azzi. Or more exactly what she hadn't had the courage to say.

Her shirt clung to her skin with sweat, her blankets on the floors. And then she saw it: a glass of water on her nightstand, half-drunk, and a folded hoodie — it smelled like Azzi. She had stayed. She had taken care of her. Even after everything she said.

Paige couldn't think. She grabbed her phone, shoved her feet into her sneakers, put her pants on and grabbed the first hoodie she saw, and left.

Azzi was walking back from class when she saw her.

Paige, standing on the steps of her dorm, hoodie pulled up, hands buried deep in the pockets. She looked distraught.

Azzi kept walking. She wasn't going to make this easy. Not after what she said.

Paige stepped forward immediately, jumping in front of her "Azzi"

"I remember," Paige said "i remember everything I said last night. I was drunk but not that drunk. I need you to know I don't hate you."

Silence stretched between them, students passing by in waves.

"I don't hate you," Paige said her voice softer now. Honest. "I don't hate you. I remember the first time I ever saw you...curly haired...skinny arms...perfect form...breathtaking dimples." she lowered her eyes to the floor.

"It was hard letting you leave, Azzi. It was hard losing you. And it's hard seeing you everyday. And I am afraid it will always be this hard. Because I have been in love with you since before I knew what love was." she reached for Azzi's hand and Azzi let her. Paige linked her pinky to hers.

"I grew up not believing in love. My parents divorce showed me that it always ended. My mom leaving showed me that maybe I wasn't worth loving not when it was inconvenient, anyways." she gave her a sad smile.

"I hate that I screwed this up. That I made you feel like I didn't want you that I didn't love you. I hate that I let you walked away and didn't fight for us."

"Why didn't you say something before?" said Azzi her eyes still guarded.

"Because Azzi...I have never been enough for someone to stay."

"And Azzi, you...you love with your whole heart. And I thought...If I let myself be loved by you and I am not enough. I could not survive it."

Paige stepped closer, "But I am tired, Azzi. I am tired of running. I am tired of pretending I would rather be loved by you and love you than pretend I don't want this more than I've ever wanted anything in my life."

Azzi searched her face, her eyes full of fear and hope. Then she finally— finally— took a breath after months of her chest pressing against her ribcage.

"You have one chance."

Paige smiled, a real smile one that reached her eyes

"I only need one."

Paige stepped forward, closing the space between them, and pulled Azzi into a hug that felt like home — real, full, and everything they hadn't let themselves feel for months.

Azzi unlocked the door and stepped inside to let her in. The door clicked shut behind them.

"I meant it today," Paige said softly. "Every word."

Azzi nodded, stepping closer. "Good."

She closed the space between them and kissed her— slow at first, like she was relearning Paige's lips. Paige melted into it, her hands gripping Azzi's waste like she was afraid if she let go Azzi would vanish. The kiss deepened, heat unfurling between them like a fire that was breathing back to life.

Azzi's hand moved up under Paige's shirt, resting on her ribs like she was holding something precious. Paige's fingers traced Azzi's spine, slow and reverent.

When they finally pulled back, breathless and flushed, Paige stared up at her, eyes soft. " I was so scared...that you'd moved on. That I was too late. That I was too much. That I had pushed you too far."

Azzi kissed the corner of her mouth, her eyes, her jaw, and then her collarbone. "You weren't. I know you better than anyone."

"Thank you for loving me even at my worst" Paige said closing her eyes and whispering to her ear "I have loved you since we were kids and I am going to love you for the rest of my life, Azzi Fudd."

[moonstruckme]

Hi Mae! I humbly request poly!Steddie with the cuddle prompt - “oh god, did i fall asleep?”

Thank you for requesting my love!

poly!Steddie x fem!reader ♡ 737 words

There’s something simultaneously soft and hard pillowing your cheek. It’s warm. And your neck hurts. You peel your eyes open to a blue-lit room. 

It takes you a handful of seconds to realize you’re not in your bed. The room is so familiar that it almost seems like you could be, Steve’s basement the backdrop for enough of your memories to make you feel lazy and safe. But it’s not your bedroom, and you’re not lying down, you’re upright. Mostly. You’re slumped against someone’s side with a blanket over your lap and your head on their shoulder. Eddie’s, if the feel of ringed fingers wrapped around your thigh is any indication. 

You look up, and there he is: turning his head to look back at you, eyebrows raised amusedly. 

“Oh god,” you croak, “did I fall asleep?” 

There’s a smile playing on the ends of your boyfriend’s lips. “Take a wild guess.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, you better be.” Eddie leans down the short distance to kiss your nose, his own all scrunched up in faux upset. “It wasn’t just you, either.” 

His gaze slips downward, and you follow it to find Steve asleep in your lap. He’s taking up more than half the couch, one leg stretched out to dangle off the armrest and the other bent at an angle. The blanket across your lap is strewn half over his shoulders. 

“Figured you guys wouldn’t mind if I started the second movie without you,” Eddie says wryly, affection coating his tone. “You didn’t seem super invested.” 

“Sorry,” you say again, yawning. “What time is it?” 

Eddie softens. “Pretty late. You wanna go home?” 

“I feel like I probably should. I’m just so…” Another massive yawn takes you. Your eyes water. “...tired, all of a sudden.” 

“You don’t say.” There’s laughter in Eddie’s voice, quieted due to the late hour. You think he has to be tired, too. “Alright, I’ll take you home, but you have to wake up sleeping beauty first.” 

Steve is already rousing at the sounds of your voices. You put a hand in his hair, and he mumbles, “M’watching. It’s good.” 

Eddie chokes out a laugh. “Fuck you. You two have no appreciation for art.” 

“Steve.” You smile, scratching gently at his scalp. “We have to go, baby.” 

“Hm?” Your boyfriend’s eyes crack open as he rolls over in your lap, looking between you and Eddie with bunched brows. “Where are we going?” 

“Eddie and I have to go,” you correct yourself, “home.” 

“Oh.” Steve doesn’t look pleased about this. His cheek squishes closer to your thigh. “Already?” 

“Guess you’re probably wishing you hadn’t slept through all our time together,” Eddie hums. 

You scoff and bat the back of your hand lightly against his chest. “Mean.” 

“Yeah, I know.” He pats Steve’s back, impenitent. “Get off her, babe.” 

Steve groans but does, sitting up to watch in petulant silence as you and Eddie put your shoes on and get ready to go. It’s the sort of needy he only ever owns when he’s tired, and it makes you genuinely sorry you can’t stay. 

“Have a good night.” You kiss him, smoothing a piece of hair from his face as you do. Steve squeezes your waist. 

“Stop pouting,” Eddie teases when it’s his turn. He cups your boyfriend by the back of the neck and gives him the sort of kiss sure to wake him up. “We’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll make sure to put on another cinematic masterpiece you two can both sleep through.” 

Steve makes some muttery comment about Eddie’s idea of a cinematic masterpiece when you’re too far up the stairs to really hear him. You think that’s probably by design, but Eddie calls back that he’d better watch his pretty mouth anyway. Steve can’t see the fondness in his expression, but you do. It’s only then, as you’re emerging from the basement into the lit hallway, that you see the dark splotch on the sleeve of Eddie’s t-shirt. 

“Oh my god.” You stare at it, horrified. “Did I drool on you?” 

“Oh, yeah.” Eddie doesn’t even have to look to know what you’re talking about. He holds the front door open for you to go outside. “Big time. It was pretty impressive considering you weren’t asleep for that long, honestly.” 

You cover your face with your hands. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Baby, are you kidding me? I’m never washing this shirt again.” 

[purinfelix]

───★ ˙ ̟ nerd bf! heeseung headcanons

a/n: as much as i enjoy playboy, flirty heeseung i think we all need to remember that he's just a loser nerd trapped in a hot body .... and i want to kiss him for that

✦ If you’re being honest, you’d always found him cute, at least from afar whenever you’d spot him in lecture rooms or pass by him in hallways 

✦ Maybe it was something about the fact that you never saw him at an parties or events, or how he rarely spoke in classes - but still managed to always be at the top of the class ranking lists

✦ You figured asking for some help on your upcoming exam would be a good idea because obviously you were worried about your grades, and it had nothing to do with the fact that you felt a quiet flutter in your heart everytime he caught your eye, definitely not

✦ You manage to get his contact info through a classmate, and whilst he seems pretty unineterested when you first message him, all it takes is you offering to treat him to lunch after for him to accept almost immediately 

✦ And even though you didn’t have any intention in actually studying, you can’t help but be a little shocked when he turns out to be completely useless with helping you

✦ His responses are curt, that is, if he manages to get them out without studying, and even though you’ve been sitting beside each other for almost two hours he’s yet to look at you once 

✦ You’re starting to get frustrated, since you’ve been stuck on the same question for what feels like forever and can’t help but let out a soft sigh 

✦ He catches on immediately, his shoulder slumping as he lowers his head even more, mumbling in a tiny voice, “sorry, i’ve just never studied with someone this pretty before…”  

✦ Immediately, it all makes sense - why he was so reluctant to meet up, why his hair looks just a little neater today, and why he’s struggling to even look at you 

✦ You bite back a smile, suggesting that you ditch the study session and skip straight to lunch and the look of relief in his big round eyes gives you all the answers you need 

✦ From that point on, you basically have him wrapped around your finger - like this man is DOWN BADD…

✦ It’s so endearing once you finally get a glimpse at the other side of him. You’re so used to his stern, focused expressions in class that the first time you make him blush, all just by letting your hand brush over his, it catches you by surprise 

✦ But then it becomes your favourite thing, finding out all the ways you can make him flustered - because there’s a lot. Whispering in his ear, holding onto his ear, tugging on his shirt to get his attention, he’ll forget how to breathe. 

✦ At first, he really tries to play it cool - even when he starts putting in a little more effort to iron his shirts or style his hair, even when you catch him staring at you, he doesn’t want to embarrass himself by being too forward with how he feels 

✦ But slowly, as you learn to reassure him about the fact that you’re truly with him for him, he’ll start feeling more comfortable being a little more shameless about how head over heels he is with you 

✦ Like he used to be too shy to initiate skinship, always reaching for your hand before pulling back nervously - now, he grabs your hand like it hurts not to be holding it. 

✦ He’s so defensive and protective of you - you never have to carry your own bag or save yourself a seat in the library anymore, and god forbid any guy try to ask you out because he’ll switch immediately into a scarily cold version of himself 

✦ Always, always thinking ahead, and so observant! If he knows you have an exam coming up he’ll stock your fridge with your favourite snacks, will make a playlist for you to listen to while you study, reminds you to sleep on time and sends you morning texts reminding you to work hard, but not too hard! 

✦ But the most interesting thing is - he doesn’t really get jealous, he gets motivated. If he sees someone flirting with you he doesn’t try to pick too much of a fight, instead going a little quiter and suddenly turning in three assignments early - like he’s trying to ‘be better’ for you. 

✦ And he tries to hide it, but sometimes he just gets really passionate about his interests and just starts yapping about them to you and catches himself half way, tries to stop but then as soon as you assure him that you’re actually interested, the look of relief on his face is adorable 

✦ Wants you close alllll of the time - you have to walk to a class that he isn’t in? He’ll come with you. Going to study in the library? Even if he’s covered all the content already he’ll be beside you, making sure you don’t overwork yourself. If he’s staying up late to game he’ll want you in his lap, mumbling some excuse about how you’re his “lucky charm” 

✦ He can’t flirt to save his life, so when he tries it just comes out as really sudden and bold statements that he gets shy about after. “You looked really pretty today- not that you don’t look pretty normally! Just- like- extra pretty today, if that’s possible.” 

✦ I’m crying guys I just want my shy nerdy bf ueueueueeue …��… 

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

Hrn. All the vamp talk got me thinking about vamp Stan and hunter Ford. Just gonna throw this out there and run away.

Au where Bills some mega lord vampire, sealed away for millennia that tricks Ford in a very similar manner, except here Bill does get out and starts the vampire apocalypse. Ford, betrayed, works on becoming a vampire hunter and putting an end to Bills reign before it can begin. Becomes a super vampire hunter badass and tries to track Bill across the country, staking all the baby vamps he can on the way.

Bill wants to turn Ford into a vamp and make him his right hand vamp man, because he's obsessed and doesn't understand 'no' just thinks Fords playing hard to get while Bill's vamps start spreading further and further than can be controlled by only Ford. Ford unintentionally starts a vampire hunting party of some kind, and gets more and more allies against the rising undead. Bill puts a bounty on Fords head to bring him to Bill alive, so that he can do a whole 'seducing to the dark side' bit with him.

Then he gets Stan instead, who has no idea whats happening to him and Bill is not happy to see. Figures 'hey! I'll just drain spare parts dry and leave him as a present for Fordsy to find. He'll totally freak over his brother's husk, or he'll be grateful i took out his worthless brother who he hates. Either way, fun for me.'

Drains Stan, leaves him in a box in a warehouse or something for Ford to find. Except when Ford rolls up Stan's already long gone, and he has no idea what Bill was keeping there. Makes a whole conspiracy about it, while Bills wtf's about how Stan turned into a full vamp and busted out. He didn't do that, unless he did? Did he accidentally turn the lesser Stan before getting the one worth anything? Disgusting, he doesn't want this knock off Stan in his vampire army, and hey! What happened to all the other vampires he left in the warehouse to jump Ford!

Bill did not turn Stan. Stan's got a smorgasbord board of vamp blood in his system that turned him when Bill bit him. So i guess Bill sort of did it? on complete accident and not even trying.

Because when the vampocalypse started and Stan, a lone homeless man and therefore perfect target, got jumped immediately and bitten by some rando, his reaction, as a known crazy person, was to bite them back about it. Instant vampire reaction of pulling away and going 'wtf' at this guy who bit them? Thats not how this works? Gives Stan just enough time to clock them in the face and run for the hills while they compute whatever just happened to them.

Stan has no idea he's been jumped by dozens of vampires, he just thinks muggers are really into biting lately, and none of them like it when he bits back. His teeth hurt because of his partials acting up from all the biting he's been doing. He feels sick because he accidentally ingested just, so much blood lately from all the self defense biting. Who knows what kinds of diseases those weirdo's have in their blood. Food doesnt taste as good because, again, he's sick. Same with the sun piercing his eyes. Except eventually he freaks himself out by actually looking forward to the next time he gets jumped, because he's gotten a taste for vampire blood.

Oh god, its some kind of disease that makes people bite each other! Except Stan doesn't want to jump a random passerby, just the guys that jump him. Maybe's hes got some mutant biting strain, he doesnt know. Starts making himself even more of a target, just to bite more vampires that he thinks are messed up muggers.

Then he gets nabbed, dragged to Bill, eaten, and wakes up in a box, for extra truama. He's hungry, terrified, retraumatiazed, and needs out.

So he does, then uses his much better, none fake new chompers to drain all the vamps Bill had stuck around, since he's already got a taste for vampire blood. Unsure if Stan's a vampire eating vampire, or if he's just a cannibal here. Either way, he's undead and still has no idea whats going on, just that a creepy guys obsessed with his brother and was mad he wasn't him and also tried to kill him? Good thing Stan's got the luck of the devil and the survivability of a cockroach!

No idea Bill still wants to kill him for daring to not be Ford and now a vampire. No idea Ford thinks he was some sort of super vampire Bill sent to kill him or terrorize people and is now trying to kill him. Thinks he's suffering from some kind of biting disease, because vampire's arent real, and he doesnt really remember slaughtering all the vamps due to hunger and blood craze. Just woke up back at his car and covered in blood. Which is normal, because people keep biting him. If we go by vampire rules of 'not fully turned until they drink human blood' he can still sort of go in the sun and eat food without vomiting, he just feels awful. Obviously because he's ill from all the blood he's been drinking, because people keep biting him.

Really, the idea of vampires biting him but Stan getting away by biting back just amused me. Plus all the vampire Stan i've been seeing around

[hyunjinsmuze]

First Time For Everything

warnings: ⛔️18+, first time, fingering, making out, dirty talk, soft!dom felix, praise

pairing: felix x reader

summary: What starts as practice kissing with Felix turns into something neither of you expected

words: 2.5k

You had no idea how it started — your friendship with Stray Kids, that is.

It just happened. One minute, you were awkwardly tagging along to a mutual friend’s birthday dinner, the next, you were curled up on Chan’s couch, surrounded by empty snack bags and limbs tangled between Hyunjin and Han like it was your second home. But among all of them, there was one person you felt closest to the one who always noticed when you were quiet, who made sure you ate when they were ordering food, who waited for your reaction first when he showed you a new song.

Felix.

Felix was the type of person who made space for you. Not because he had to, but because he wanted to. He made you feel like the most important person in the room, even when there were seven other boys shouting over each other about fried chicken and anime.

You didn’t know when it shifted, when your feelings toward him started to twist into something that felt more than platonic. It wasn’t obvious. It wasn’t loud.

It was in the small things.

Like the way he’d smile when you laughed. Or how his hand would linger just a second longer on your back. Or how he looked at you like he knew something you didn’t.

You were already at the dorm when he walked in hoodie loose, hair slightly damp like he’d just come from dance practice. He froze when he saw you sprawled on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and a half-finished can of Coke in your lap.

“Y/N,” he said, grinning. “Didn’t know you were coming over.”

“Seungmin invited me,” you said casually. “But he ditched me for a nap, so now I’m hanging out with your cereal and this very unimpressive Netflix selection.”

He laughed, dropping onto the couch next to you with a soft grunt. His thigh brushed yours — just enough to notice, but not enough to move.

You turned to him, chewing your bottom lip.

“Oh, by the way…”

His brows lifted. “Hmm?”

You tried to play it off like it was no big deal. “You know your friend Jake? From Enhypen?”

Felix’s smile dipped slightly. “Yeah…”

“He DM’d me last night,” you said, keeping your tone light. “He asked me out.”

Silence.

“Wait, what?” Felix blinked at you, straightening slightly. “Jake… DMed you?”

“Yeah,” you said, scrolling through your phone and flashing him the screen. “See? He was like, ‘Hey, I saw you in that photo with Lix. Thought you were really pretty.’ And then he asked if I wanted to get coffee this weekend.”

He wanted to be happy for you. Really, he did. But behind the easy smile, jealousy twisted in his chest like a slow burn. Of course Jake noticed you — everyone did. You were bright, beautiful, magnetic. But the thought of you going out with someone else, someone who wasn’t him, made him feel… small.

Stupid, even.

He’d had years. Years to say something. To tell you that his feelings had shifted, that somewhere along the line, you stopped being just a friend. But he didn’t. He’d kept quiet, convincing himself it was better this way safe, simple.

And now someone else was going to take you out. Make you laugh. Maybe even kiss you.

He swallowed hard, nodding like it didn’t tear him apart inside.

Felix leaned back against the couch, his voice careful. “When did this happen?”

“Last night.”

“Huh.”

You glanced at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said quickly. “That’s great. I mean, he’s a good guy.”

“But?” you prompted.

“No but,” he said, too fast.

You gave him a look, and he sighed. “I just didn’t know he was interested in you. That’s all.”

You laughed. “Why? You gatekeeping me from your idol friends now?”

“No, no,” he said, waving you off. “Just… surprised.”

A beat passed.

“You’re really going?” he asked.

“I think so,” you said. “He seems sweet. And I haven’t been on a real date in, like, forever.”

Felix smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Well… make sure you wear your good lipstick.”

You rolled your eyes. “Why?”

“So your lips look good when you kiss him.”

You choked. “I’m not gonna kiss him!”

He turned to you, eyebrows raised. “You’re not?”

“No!”

“Why not?”

You hesitated.

Felix’s eyes narrowed slightly, curiosity piqued. “Y/N…”

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

The silence that followed was heavy.

“…Seriously?” he said softly.

You nodded, cheeks flushing. “Never found the right time. Or person.”

Felix’s voice dropped just a bit. “You nervous?”

“A little,” you admitted.

He smiled again, softer this time. “Want me to teach you?”

You froze.

“Wait, are you serious?”

“I mean…” he chuckled. “Only if you want me to.”

You looked at him. Really looked.

He was leaning back casually, but his gaze was steady. Focused. You couldn’t read his expression was he joking? Was he teasing you? Or… did he want to?

“Okay,” you said.

His head tilted. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” you repeated. “Teach me.”

The room suddenly felt warmer. Closer.

Felix shifted to face you more fully, one leg bent beneath him. “Alright then,” he said, voice low.

You swallowed.

His hand lifted, fingertips brushing lightly under your chin to tilt your face up.

“You don’t have to if you’re not ready,” he said, and his voice was so gentle, so Felix, it made your chest ache.

“I want to,” you whispered.

His lips brushed yours like a question. Soft. Barely there.

Your breath caught. He pulled back just enough to look at you.

“You okay?” he murmured.

You nodded.

This time, he kissed you properly.

It wasn’t clumsy or rushed. It was careful thoughtful, like he was mapping you out. His lips moved slowly against yours, pausing occasionally like he was listening for your reaction. When your fingers brushed the hem of his hoodie, he let out a quiet breath against your mouth.

You leaned in instinctively, and suddenly it wasn’t practice anymore.

Your fingers slid into his hair, and his hands found your waist. The kiss deepened, his tongue brushing against yours gently. The way he kissed like he wanted to take his time, like this was something he’d dreamed about, making your heart thud wildly in your chest.

When he pulled back, his lips were pink, his voice low.

“You’re a fast learner,” he murmured.

You were breathing hard. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said, eyes dark.

Your hand rested on his chest now, his heartbeat as fast as yours.

“I should probably cancel the date,” you whispered.

Felix blinked. “Wait, what?”

You met his eyes. “I don’t… want to kiss Jake. Not after this.”

He stared at you.

Then his lips curled into the smallest smirk.

“You can still go,” he said, voice dipping. “But just remember who taught you how to kiss.”

Your breath hitched.

“What if I want more?” you asked, barely above a whisper.

He was quiet for a second. Then he leaned in, his lips brushing your jaw.

“Then you’ll get more,” he murmured.

His hand slipped beneath the hem of your shirt, fingers grazing your bare waist. “But only if you want it.”

“I do,” you whispered, trembling slightly.

He kissed you again, rougher this time — more sure. His hand slid to the back of your neck, tilting your head just enough to deepen the kiss.

And then his lips found your throat. Open-mouthed, slow, until he found a spot just beneath your ear that made your stomach flip. He sucked gently, leaving a blooming hickey there, and your breath hitched so hard it made him chuckle against your skin.

“You’re so sensitive,” he said, dragging his teeth lightly across your skin.

His fingers moved lower, brushing along the top of your jeans. You tensed slightly not from discomfort, but anticipation.

He paused. “Can I…?”

You nodded.

His mouth was on yours again before you could second-guess it.

This time, it wasn’t careful or polite it was heat and need. His hands gripped your waist with more certainty, more hunger, pulling you into him like he couldn’t get close enough.

Felix’s lips moved against yours like he’d been waiting to do this for a long time. Every tilt of his head, every brush of his tongue against yours, felt deliberate. Focused. And yet… tender.

Your fingers curled into his hoodie, grounding yourself as his hand slid beneath your shirt again warm, gentle, but insistent. When his palm pressed against the bare skin of your back, you shivered.

“You okay?” he murmured against your lips.

You nodded. “Yeah. I just…”

Your voice trembled slightly, and he kissed the corner of your mouth.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered.

He leaned in again, slower this time savoring the kiss, letting it linger. You could feel his breath hitch slightly when your hand skimmed up his chest. When your fingers brushed his throat, his eyes fluttered shut.

Then he pulled back, resting his forehead against yours.

“Tell me to stop if it’s too much,” he said softly.

You swallowed, heart pounding. “I don’t want you to stop.”

His eyes flicked open. They were darker now deeper, filled with something unspoken.

“I don’t want to stop either,” he admitted.

You barely had time to breathe before his lips were on you again. He pushed you gently back against the couch cushions, bracing himself over you. His thigh slid between yours, pressing just right against your core, and when his hands found your waist again, your hips arched instinctively into his touch.

Felix groaned low in his throat quiet, but real.

“You feel that?” he murmured, brushing his lips along your jaw. “That’s what you do to me.”

Your skin buzzed, every nerve alive.

“I’ve wanted this,” he whispered. “So many times.”

“I didn’t think you—” you started.

“I tried not to,” he said honestly. “You’re my best friend. I didn’t want to ruin anything. But watching someone else try to take you out—” His jaw tensed.

Your hand found the side of his face, thumb brushing his cheekbone. “It wouldn’t have meant anything.”

“This means something,” he whispered.

You didn’t realize your shirt had ridden up until you felt his fingers under your bra line. When you tensed, he paused — not pulling away, just waiting.

He kissed down your stomach slowly, reaching your chest, brushing his lips over your clothed nipple. You squirmed, and he pulled back, smirking.

“I’ve never done this,” you admitted quietly.

“I know,” he said, kissing your collarbone. “That’s why I’m going slow.”

“I want you to touch me,” you whispered.

He exhaled, voice rough.

“Y/N…” His voice cracked. “I’ll make you feel good. I promise.”

He slipped his hand into your waistband, every move careful and patient. His fingers moved gently over your warmth soft, teasing strokes. He didn’t rush. He circled your entrance with the tip of his finger, slow and steady, watching your face.

You gasped — not just at the contact, but the intimacy.

His other hand found yours again, thumb stroking over your knuckles.

“Breathe,” he murmured.

The first brush of his finger inside you was slow, deliberate and when he curled it slightly, your hips jumped. His thumb moved to your clit, circling it gently as he slowly pumped his finger.

Then he added a second.

Your breath stuttered. He groaned softly.

“You’re doing so well,” he whispered, kissing your temple. “So perfect for me.”

His eyes didn’t leave yours not once as his fingers found a rhythm, hitting just the right spot. Your hands gripped his arms, nails dragging down as your thighs trembled around him.

“Lix…” you moaned, breathless.

He kissed your throat again, lips dragging over your jaw. “That’s it. Say my name.”

You whimpered again, unable to help it.

His pace picked up just slightly enough to build. You couldn’t keep your eyes open. The pressure was unbearable and euphoric.

His pace stayed the same curling his fingers at the perfect angle as his thumb stayed on your clit applying the slightest bit of pleasure.

You didn’t even realise how loud your moans were getting but felix was sure seungmin could hear, but he didn’t slow down he didn’t ask you to be quiet. Infact he sped up drawing more moans from you thinking it’s the hottest thing how your so close to coming undone on just his fingers.

“You’re mine,” he whispered against your skin, his voice suddenly low and firm. “Not Jake’s. Not anyone’s. Mine.”

His thumb stroked your hand in time with his fingers inside you, grounding you as you spiraled higher.

Your whole body arched.

He kept whispering, lips at your ear.

“Let go for me, baby. I’ve got you.”

When it hit, it crashed through you — hot, tight, overwhelming. You cried out his name, trembling, and he kissed you through it, holding you close like you were something sacred.

Your whole body shook, you kept your head hidden in the crook of his neck, whimpering and babbling random words as you come down from your orgasm.

Afterward, you lay curled against him, panting, his fingers tangled gently with yours.

“No one’s ever touched me like that,” you whispered.

“No one’s going to again,” he said softly.

You blinked up at him.

He swallowed. “I mean… unless you want this to be—”

“I don’t.”

His relief was instant.

“I don’t think Jake’s getting that coffee,” you added.

Felix laughed quietly. “Good. I like being your first.”

“You’re smug.”

He kissed your cheek. “I’m yours.”

You paused. “Really?”

He cupped your face and kissed you slowly, deeply.

“Always.”

[smuttybucktommyanon]

Ravi’s not exactly sure how he got here, naked on his co-worker’s boyfriend's bed with said co-worker and his boyfriend.

It could have started last week, when he’d had a few too many at the bar and accidentally used Tommy’s leg to help push himself out of the booth, his hand a lot higher up his thigh than was socially acceptable. He had actually been aiming for the bench.

It could have been two weeks ago, when he thought Tommy caught him checking out Buck’s ass as he was bent over the pool table.

He quickly decides it doesn’t matter as Buck starts to suck on his neck and Tommy runs his hands down Ravi’s chest.

“Evan wasn’t sure you’d say yes to us,” Tommy murmurs, tracing over Ravi’s abs and smiling when he sucks in a breath.

“I didn’t say that,” Buck protests as he pulls away from Ravi’s neck. He pushes himself up a bit so he can look at Ravi more easily. “I was worried you’d feel weird about it, or like, pressured.”

“You didn’t see the way he looked at your ass,” Tommy counters.

“You saw that?” Ravi knows he’s blushing, knows even his darker skin tone won’t hide it from them.

“Yeah, and I felt the way you squeezed my leg,” Tommy slides his hand farther down to demonstrate. Ravi can’t help the squeak that escapes him.

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he confesses. “And I kinda like having both my ankles intact.”

Buck rolls onto his back to cover his face and groan. “No one’s ever going to let that go, are they?”

Tommy laughs and leans across Ravi to kiss Buck on the lips, one hand still holding Ravi’s hip. “Probably not.”

Ravi leans up to lick Tommy’s neck.

“Oh hello,” Tommy says, turning to look at him. “Are you a little jealous too, hmm?” He moves so he can kiss his way up Ravi’s stomach, gently sucking on first one nipple and then the other, scraping his teeth over them as he moves up towards his collarbone.

Buck rolls back onto his side, plastering himself against Ravi and attacking his neck, leaving what is sure to be the largest hickey Ravi’s ever had. He resigns himself to wearing his collared shirt for the next few shifts.

“Can you believe he’s been hiding all of this, all this time?” Buck asks Tommy, pulling back a little to admire his handiwork.

“We should be glad, someone else could have stolen him away by now,” Tommy says, pulling Ravi into a proper kiss. Ravi sighs into the kiss, feels Buck’s hands move across his chest, tweak one of his nipples. He arches his back up towards the feeling, accidentally biting down on Tommy’s lip.

Tommy groans and rolls his hips against Ravi’s thigh.

“More,” Ravi begs, legs pinned down under Tommy and Buck, nerves lighting up everywhere he can feel their hands and lips.

“What do you think Evan? What should we do with him? One of us could fuck him,” Tommy says casually, like they’re having an everyday conversation and not naked in bed while he plays with Ravi’s balls. Ravi moves under them, not opposed to the idea but it’s not quite what he wants, if he gets the choice. Buck makes a thoughtful noise.

“Or,” Tommy suggests, taking in both of their reactions, “maybe he could fuck one of us?”

Buck’s mouth falls open as he nods in agreement.

“You want him to fuck you, Evan?” Tommy asks, slowly stroking Ravi’s cock as he speaks. Ravi is trying not to pant with want. Buck nods vigorously. “Ravi, does that sound good to you?”

“Ye-yeah,” Ravi pants, giving up trying to keep his composure.

“Excellent,” Tommy says, his grin verging on feral. His hand disappears from Ravi’s cock and he whimpers.

“Don’t worry,” Buck says soothingly, running his hand down the outside of Ravi’s thigh. “We’ll take care of you. Tommy’s going to open me up so you can get exactly what you want.”

“We started before we met up with you,” Tommy says with a smirk. “But he needs to be opened up a little bit more.”

Ravi thinks about Tommy opening up Buck before they met at the bar, watches as he moves down the bed and holds Buck’s legs open, diving in tongue first. Thinks about the fact that Tommy’s tongue was just in his mouth, that his spit is helping to open Buck open, and he moans. If he was with anyone else he’d be embarrassed about the noise but Buck and Tommy seem delighted by it.

Buck dives in to kiss Ravi, lips warm against his, hands roving across his body. He catches one of Ravi’s hands and moves it to Tommy’s head, getting Ravi to hold onto his curls gently. Ravi can hear him moan and feels Buck’s reaction to the vibration as he jolts against Ravi. Ravi gets his other hand on Buck, looping it around the back of his neck to keep him close as they have to pull back to breath. Buck jolts again, and Ravi looks down to see Tommy’s replaced his tongue with his fingers slowly working three of them in and out of Buck’s body.

Tommy looks up at Ravi, moving his head closer and closer to Ravi’s groin. Ravi nods at him, and Tommy immediately gets his mouth on Ravi’s cock. Ravi knows he isn’t trying to get him to come, just wants to make sure he’s ready for Buck, but he’s a little worried he might come anyways. Tommy’s mouth just feels so good on him.

“Tommy, Tommy, I’m good, I’m ready,” Buck gasps, trying to bat Tommy’s hand away from him.

Tommy pulls away from Ravi, which he both mourns and is thankful for. Misses Tommy’s mouth, is glad he’s not going to embarrass himself.

“You can come twice,” Tommy says, “you’ve come more than that in one night. I want you to come now and then come again when Ravi fucks you.”

Buck and Ravi moan in unison.

“O-okay,” Buck manages to get out. Ravi and Tommy get him on his back, Tommy still working him with his fingers and giving him a blowjob, Ravi getting his mouth and hands on every part of Buck’s chest that he can, sucking and biting wherever he wants.

Even with Tommy’s arm across his hips, Buck can barely keep still. Tommy crooks his fingers in way that makes Buck grab Ravi’s hair and pull. He opens his mouth to apologize, but Ravi kisses him before he can.

Ravi loses himself in kissing Buck,marvelling in how their lips fit together and how Buck kisses like it’s the last thing he’s ever going to do. He’s not thinking about anything other than the places where their bodies meet when all of a sudden Buck wrenches his mouth away, gasping as he comes down Tommy’s throat.

Tommy moves back up the bed, straddling Buck’s chest as he leans down and cradles his head, kisses him deeply and gently. Tommy turns to Ravi next, pulling him up to meet him, kissing him just as deeply and gently as he’d kissed Buck, hands pulling Ravi close, urging their hips together.

They kiss and kiss and kiss above Buck until he pinches Tommy’s thigh.

“Ow,” Tommy complains, finally breaking the kiss with Ravi.

“Lucky it wasn’t your ankle,” Ravi whispers.

“Let’s go,” Buck wiggles under them.

“Impatient,” Tommy chides him.

“Tommy,” Buck pulls out the sad eyes and the pout.

Tommy climbs off of Buck and pulls Ravi to the end of the bed with him. He gets Ravi positioned on his knees and gives Buck a tug to move him down the bed. Tommy stands behind Ravi, loosely stroking his cock.

“You ready?” He asks in a low voice that makes Ravi shiver.

Ravi nods.

“Words, Ravi,” Tommy encourages.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m ready,” Ravi says.

“Good,” Tommy whispers. He kisses behind Ravi’s ear as he lines him up with Buck’s hole. Ravi can feel the heat of Tommy’s skin behind him, feels the hard line of Tommy’s cock against his back, slick precome getting all over him. Tommy seems content to ignore it, so Ravi does too for the moment.

“Evan?”

“Please, please fuck me,” Buck begs.

Tommy thrusts at Ravi’s back, pushing him into Buck. Ravi gasps as he enters him, feeling the warm heat surround him. Buck’s mouth is open as he lets out little gasps and moans, trying to move his hips closer to Ravi.

“Evan.”

Buck stills.

“Good, let Ravi get used to it,” Tommy encourages him. One of his hands is stroking Ravi’s hip and the other is pinching and rolling his nipples.

Ravi feels surrounded, overwhelmed in the best way. “Sh-shit,” he gasps out. “You both feel so good.”

Buck clenches around him and Tommy places open mouthed kisses along his neck and shoulder.

Ravi’s hips stutter forward.

“Yeah, just like that,” Tommy says. He uses his hips to drive Ravi forward, deeper into Buck.

“Mm, right there,” he says as Buck pants below them. “Get your hands on him.”

Ravi leans forward to do as Tommy says, scratching gently against Buck’s stomach, rolling his nipples between his fingers, pinching them on each forward thrust. Tommy mirrors his movements, putting Ravi into a pleasure echo chamber.

As it looks like Buck’s getting closer to his release, Tommy pushes him down so he blankets Buck, each of them taking one side of his neck as they lick and suck at it, Buck letting out needier and needier noises beneath them.

Tommy pulls back a little bit, hands moving to Ravi’s hips to help him keep his rhythm as he fucks Buck, watching as Buck grabs desperately for Ravi and kisses him, though it’s really more breathing into each other’s mouths at this point, one of Buck’s legs hooked around Ravi and Tommy’s legs to hold them in place.

Ravi can feel Tommy’s cock sliding against his back, sliding against his ass, more and more precome leaking out as Tommy fights to keep the rhythm for Buck.

Ravi gets a hand between them and strokes Buck’s cock in time with his thrusts, watching him fall over the edge. Tommy keeps them moving until Ravi comes, then lets him collapse onto of Buck. He takes himself into his own hand and comes on Ravi’s back. Buck drags his hand along Ravi’s back, getting as much of Tommy’s come as he can, licking it off his fingers while the other two watch.

“Fuck, you two are so fucking hot,” Ravi gasps.

“Thank you,” Buck says, grinning up at him.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up before you pass out,” Tommy says, hauling Ravi upright and into the bathroom. Ravi’s legs still feel a little bit like jello, so he let’s himself be moved. Tommy turns on the shower and bundles Ravi into it, stepping in behind him.

He kisses Ravi as the water warms up, running his hands up and down Ravi’s arms. “I’m so glad you said yes to us,” Tommy murmurs. “That was incredible.”

“Shouldn’t we wait for Buck?” Ravi asks somewhat nonsensically.

“Evan’s going to change the sheets and then he’ll be here,” Tommy promises him.

“Okay,” Ravi relaxes against Tommy as Tommy washes his hair.

“Think you can stand up for a minute?” Tommy asks once he’s washed the conditioner out of Ravi’s hair.

Ravi ends up having to lean against the shower wall while Tommy gently cleans the rest of his body. He stays there while Tommy cleans himself off as well.

Buck comes into the bathroom and he and Tommy have a quiet conversation before Tommy leaves the shower and Buck gets in.

“Hey,” Buck says gently. “How are you doing?”

“Still trying to get my legs under me,” Ravi chuckles. “You two are… amazing.”

“So are you,” Buck tells him. “I can't wait until we do that again.”

“You - you'd want too do that again?” Ravi asks.

“If you want,” Buck hastens to add.

“Oh absolutely,” Ravi says, “I just didn’t realize it was more than a one time deal .”

“We were hoping it could be.”

“Okay,” Ravi says. He watches shamelessly as Buck washes himself off, and Buck dries him off when they get out of the shower. They stumble back into the bedroom naked and attached at the lips, Buck all but throwing Ravi onto the bed next to Tommy.

“You two might be having a little too much fun without me,” Tommy says, arching an eyebrow at them.

Buck laughs and clambers into the bed, pulling the covers over the three of them. Tommy hands them both a glass of water, which Ravi happily drinks down. Tommy smiles and takes the glass from him, setting it on the bedside table.

“Hungry?” Tommy asks.

“A little.”

Tommy picks up a bowl of fruit Ravi hadn’t noticed before, and feeds him piece by piece. Ravi licks the dripping fruit juice off Tommy’s hand with more than a little enthusiasm, enjoying the way that both Buck and Tommy can’t keep their eyes off him.

Tommy lasts a couple more pieces of fruit before his composure breaks, and he drops the bowl back onto the table with a clatter, seizing Ravi’s. face in his hands and doing his best to lick the fruit juice back out of Ravi’s mouth.

“Goddamn,” Buck groans behind them.

Ravi completely breaks the mood by yawning in Tommy’s face.

“I think we tired him out babe,” Tommy says.

“It looks good on him,” Buck says with a smirk.

“Maybe we can do it again in the in the morning?” Ravi asks hopefully.

“Absolutely,” Buck says.

Tommy pulls Ravi down on the bed, letting Ravi tuck his head under his chin. Buck cuddles up behind him, his skin still warm and slightly damp from the shower.

“Maybe I can blow you in the morning,” Ravi mumbles into Tommy’s chest.

“Whatever you want,” Tommy says, laughing vibrating through his chest. “Now go to sleep.”

Ravi feels first Tommy, then Buck, kiss his head before he falls asleep.

[mewfistoe]

Sylus tries to deepen your relationship by confirming if you two are dating and you rebuff him.

Warnings: Hurt/comfort, angst, crying, insecure & anxious reader, lots of internal negative self hatred talk on reader’s part

A/N: felt sad and bad about myself and wrote this.

————

“I’m sorry Sylus, I can’t.”

You have never seen him look as dismayed and distressed as he does right now. He isn’t even trying to hide it.

“I’m sorry. I can’t date you.”

He takes a careful step back from you, clearly trying to put some distance between the two of you, “I…apologize if I overstepped.” His voice isn’t shaky but only just. “I misread the situation. I’m deeply sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he says, uncharacteristically awkward.

You bite your lower lip, flustered, “…No, no. It’s fine. It’s not- You didn’t- I’m sorry… You didn’t make me…uncomfortable. I- I just can’t. I’m sorry.” A cowardly answer, you think.

Sylus was always braver than you though. More willing to show you his vulnerable belly than you ever were to show him yours. He visibly swallows, gathering that bravery, before starting up, “If I… If you don’t mind my asking, is there someone else? Did I misread the situation? Us? How you feel about me?” He pauses briefly, “I thought that we were on our way to a…more intimate relationship of sorts.”

You turn red, “No, there’s no one else… I…I just. I apologize if I gave you the wrong idea, but I just want to be friends.” You fidget. Coward, you think again.

You swallow. You know Sylus would never press an issue that you were obviously distressed by. But, you think, he deserves more than this. He had been so good to you. Made you feel…special, for a while. Looked at you and saw you. Allowed you to play pretend that maybe you could have something nice with someone nice. Sometimes he even made you forget your own self-loathing. He deserves to know, at least a bit of it, to not be left in a foggy muddle of where things stood, and where they had been.

You try to be brave too, “It’s not you, I know that we were…flirting with something like that. Well I guess just flirting too, in general.” You try a joke to lighten the mood. It doesn’t really work.

You can’t look at him so you look to the side. Your voice comes out soft, barely a whisper, “I liked it. I…I do like you. I just. I can’t date anyone, that’s all.”

He frowns, “I’m afraid I… I don’t understand? I don’t…” He stops. You look like you’re about to cry. You are about to cry.

“Oh kitten, I… It. It’s fine. Don’t feel pressured to explain. I understand that you have your own reasons and I respect that.”

You do start to cry. Messily, snot and all. You’re embarrassed to do this in front of him, ashamed of your own weakness, “I’m really sorry, Sylus,” you choke out between tears.

His fingers twitch, unsure of what to do at first. You reach up to try and wipe at your eyes sloppily. You go to wipe your nose against your arm and his mind is made up.

He pulls you into a hug, and holds you protectively. Your tears and runny nose are undoubtedly making a disgusting mess against his fancy designer shirt. “Shh…it’s okay. It’s okay. You are always allowed to say no. You don’t owe me or anyone else an explanation. Your reasons are your own and that’s more than enough.”

His breathing is steady and you can feel his warmth against you. It feels nice. It always does. “Shh…I’m here. I’ll always be here for you if you need someone. If you need me. We don’t have to do anything or be anything you don’t want to. We can just be here like this.”

And it feels so good to be comforted, to let him hold you.

Sylus deserves better than you and your non-answers. You want to tell him that. You want to tell him that you’re scared he won’t like you anymore the more he gets to know you. That you’re scared he’ll avoid you and reject you if he sees deeper into all the disgusting and terrible and ugly parts of you. You want to tell him that you hope he finds someone better than you, someone more worthy of being loved. That you hate yourself. That you don’t deserve to be cared for. You don’t deserve to be held like this. That you are so flawed and so ugly and so awful and so pathetic in so many ways that he cannot even imagine.

But you know him well enough by now to know that saying those things would only upset him. Infinitely patient with you as he is, there is nothing he would hate more than hearing you tear yourself down. Even if it’s all the truth.

So you choke the words down and say nothing instead. Just stand there and allow yourself to be soothed and held. Even though you don’t deserve it.

[lostazuree]

Hey there! >.<

Can I request some fluff Relationship HCs for Blue Lock boys? (Please add Isagi and Rin)

✰  ࣪ 𝜗𝜚 ̟ 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝑪𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔 ⸻ 𝑩𝒍𝒖𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝑩𝒐𝒚𝒔.

☆𝑭𝒕. —𝑰𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒊 𝒀𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒉𝒊, 𝑰𝒕𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒊 𝑹𝒊𝒏, 𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒂 𝑴𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒖, 𝑵𝒂𝒈𝒊 𝑺𝒆𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒐.☆

✦ 𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈 𝐘𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐈

•Inexperienced ASF and I mean it. He never really had interest in dating until he got with you.

• Completely opposite of what he is on the field, of course. He's soft with you (or tries to be, really 😭)

• His idea of a date would be a picnic or a movie.

• He'd like cuddles and stuff, as much as he wouldn't admit.

• Will wake you up with forehead kisses. LOVES texting you. Will tell you where he is, where he's going, when and how.

• Possessive even if he doesn't mean to be.

•Love language? Words of affection. (Beware of any slipped slurs)

✦ 𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐑𝐈𝐍

• Now Rin, may be known as the Nonchalant Final Boss but he's very chalant(?)when it comes to you (or he tries to be).

• His Idea of a date would definitely be a quiet coffee date, or a horror movie-binge night.

• I see him wanting to be on the receiving end of affection, definitely loves forehead kisses, hand holding and stuff.

• NOT a fan of PDA. Doesn't mean he'll ignore you, but he'll hold hands at max.

• Thinks petnames are cheezy, but will blush when you call him something cute. Dry texter for sure. He has trouble expressing himself.

• Before any match, he'll hand you his spare jersey without any word, and you know what that means. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘵 to his match.

• Will buy you stuff if he sees you eyeing something.

• He doesn't have a love language. He speaks fluent INGARISHU. (Acts of service for sure.) He gives you head pats.

✦ 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐀 𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

• Now, Bachira is a certified baby boy. (GREEN FLAG FR). He will treat you like you're divine, but will also treat you like a demon.

• Bachira's idea of a date would be playing soccer in the rain, no fancy stuff. Sprawled out on the couch? Date.

• Clingy. Loves PDA. He'll hold your waist, hand, whatever he can in public. Very possessive in a loving way.

• He loves talking, but if there's something he likes more than soccer and yapping, it's to hear you yap. Great listener, will hold your hand while you talk.

• He gets the 'heart in eyes' look when you wear his clothes. He gets shy. YES. Best texter too, sends you memes and very enthusiastic responses.

• Calls you stuff like 'Sunshine', 'My love', 'Sweetheart'. And he expects you to call him something cute too!

• His love language is Physical touch for sure.

✦ 𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐈 𝐒𝐄𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐎

• Lazy AF, if you didn't already know. But believe me, he will try to put efforts.

• His idea of a date is chilling at home, playing video games. Sleeping together? Date.

• He's a very dry texter, and a good(?)listener. Or rather, tries to be one.

• Clingy. Very Clingy. Then comes Nagi Seishiro. He'll won't let you go. PDA? Hah! As if he touches grass aside from soccer.

• He sends you random game-related memes. If he folds your laundry for you, he's damn well committed.

• His love language is using his revives on you after you die in some stupid game (Romantic).

• He lets you eat all his snacks. Brushes your hair away from your face while you sleep, because if he can't fall asleep (barely ever), he'll look at you while you sleep.

Thank you so much for reading! It was my first time writing HCs, I had fun. Hopefully, gonna write more in future. Reblogs highly appreciated 🖐🏻🎀

[mjldx7]

Jiuyuan Idea!

...

The Warm Red Pavilion always smelled of incense, the smell was overwhelming. Shen Jiu hated it. But he would deal with it, it sorta helped when everything else in his head was overwhelming him as well. One big thing to cancel out all of the small thought adding up...

It didn't help he hasn't gotten the chance to sleep in over a month. Being a cultivator, yeah he could still live with it, but his whole body ached, he was tired. Qi-ge, no, Yue Qingyuan kept bothering him. Apologies, 'Xiao-Jiu. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'M sorry, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY XIAO-JIU!'

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SORRY FOR!? LEAVING ME IN HELL, NOT COMING BACK FOR ME, LETTING ME DIE AT HIS HANDS!?! WHY QI-GE, WHY-"

How he wished he could say that to Yue Qingyuan, he wished he could bash that idiots brains in for leaving him there to die. For just apologizing without truth or reason behind it. He just wanted an answer-

"I'm so sorry A-Jiu but... all of the girls have been booked out for the night."

What? Why, the one time he was able to come? Why did this have to happen!?

He sighed, he knew it wasn't thier faults if all these disgusting men- the word made him roll his eyes internally. "Are you sure Madam Yu, what about Su-Jiejie, or Xin-Jiejie. Are either of them booked tonight?" They couldn't be, they were high ranking, anyone who wanted to spend a night with then even just to play a simple game of go would go broke for the next decade. Surely they wouldn't be-

"I'm afraid them too A-Jiu, a few rich merchants stopped by the Pavilion tonight and booked out most of the girls including them. We still have a few male courtesan but..."

"Absolutely not"

"A-Jiu, I know you don't feel comfortable--" Ha... if only that was the whole story. "But they would never do anything to you. Please, at least try, Mingshan was so concerned after last time. Maybe this could be good for you!"

Last time he had decided to go to the Warm Red Pavilion, some drunk had tried touching him while he was having tea with Lan Yuqin in the main room. He felt filthy after, his guard was down because he thought he was safe when he was surrounded by people he trusted but no. Of course not. He felt sick after all of it and Mingshan, one of the newer courtesans who he had recently become close with, had seen him getting sick in his room with Lan Yuqin and Su Jinmao there.

"What about A-Yuan, he's-"

"Madam Yu I would rather not go all the way to the Lotus Pavilion near Hua Huan just to see A-Yuan"

A-Yuan was a mystery, Shen Jiu hated him... but he was still safe. Unlike every other men Shen Jiu had ever met, A-Yuan felt safe. He would talk on and on about the dumbest of things, but Shen Jiu could never get mad at him for it. He was too kind, too innocent and naive. He even looked at Shen Jiu as if he meant something, even knowing who he was.

Madam Yu and the girls knew about A-Yuan of course, he had told them about him after his first time at the Lotus Pavilion. He had... fallen asleep with A-Yuan in the small room he had been given at the Lotus Pavilion. It scared him, but he was warm upon waking up. Something he didn't think was possible anymore near a man.

Shen Yuan was a mystery, and Shen Jiu almost didn't want to find out just what he was hiding anytime he was in Hua Huan' territory near the Lotus Pavilion. If not just for one more chance to feel safe around one man who seemed to truly care for him if nothing else.

"-that was changed, A-Jiu. He was bought off-"

Right, he had tuned Madam Yu out... 'He was bought off', what? Is she talking about A-Yuan, where was he then? Did his contract get paid for by some rich man or-

"--A-Yuan is supposed to be done playing a game of go with a client in the main room soon if-"

"He's here!?"

Oops, bit too loud...

A couple drunk heads turned towards the front desk where Shen Jiu and Madam Yu was standing, along with a few of the newer courtesans who were playing games with clients.

"Were you not listening to anything I was saying boy!?" Madam Yu exclaimed before sighing. "We had a courtesan exchange between a couple of the nearby brothels, one of those including the Lotus Pavilion. A-Yuan was one of the courtesan that transferred here for the exchange."

Well that was... shocking. A-Yuan was pretty high ranking even at the Lotus Pavilion, what did they have to trade here for him to be moved here?

"I see, then, may I spend the night here with him after he is done with his client?" At least he could still sleep tonight...

"Yeah, yeah, silly boy. Just go find him in the main room and after he is done you can head to your normal room" Madam Yu sighed again before waving Shen Jiu off, not even seeming to remember to charge him for the night. Oh well, he will drop off the money in the morning, after he is able to sleep.

...

"Oh hell no! You absolutely cheated-"

"Hey pretty lady~ surely you-"

"Good game-"

"Hey! Where is the alcohol!?-"

The main room was too loud, to crowded. Shen Jiu hated when it was this busy. He's too tired now, he just wants to find A-Yuan and sleep.

"-You did amazing in that game! I'm impressed-"

A-Yuan, that was his voice. Where-

Shen Jiu saw Shen Yuan near the stage. Cleaning up a go board while a drunk, greasy looking client sat across from him. The Lotus Pavilion always had thier courtesans wear purple or pink, as the name. The Warm Red Pavilion had no such rules.

Maybe the reason Shen Jiu always felt so comfortable around A-Yuan was because his voice was a lot softer, more like a woman's. Or how the pink robes he nornally had on made him more feminine. He had always used that excuse as to why A-Yuan felt safe.

A-Yuan looked better though now, he had on a light green robe, it matched nicely with his eyes... It was far to low cut to be truly comfortable for anyone not used to wearing such garments. But it suited A-Yuan somehow. He had his hair fully down this time. The light pink rouge that stained his lips and cheeks made him look even softer, matching the expression on his face.

He looked like a god, no, better. He shouldn't be socializing with some nobody. He shouldn't be treating some nobody like he cares when he clearly doesn't. Maybe the man is just to drunk to realize that little crease between A-Yuan' eyes, the way his smile twitched down a little whenever the man tried to touch his hands.

It annoyed Shen Jiu to no end seeing that man touch A-Yuan like that. Shouldn't he be able to tell how uncomfortable it makes him!? Shen Jiu must have been glaring because a couple of customers nearby backed away slightly apon seeing him.

"A-Yuan"

A warmth seemed to show up in his stomach upon seeing A-Yuan turn to him smiling. Not a fake smile he'd give clients, a real one. He looked at Shen Jiu as if he was world. Shen Jiu hated to say that he almost liked the feeling.

"A-Jiu! When did you get here? OMG, please tell me your spending the night! I have so much gossip to tell you since the last time you visited the Lotus Pavilion! You would not believe what Lan-Jiejie did to one of the customers. Oh and I have that bestiary that you let me borrow from last time! I had completely forgot to return it back to you. Oh, Oh! How have things been on Qing Jing Peak, have-"

A-Yuan had stood up from his seat beaming, running over to Shen Jiu and grabbing his hand. Only looking at the brothel madam (who gave an annoyed look before waving him off quickly to say yes) for a quick moment before dragging Shen Jiu to the stairs up to his room. Completely seeming to forget about the drunk man he was originally playing with.

"A-Yuan, calm down." A-Yuan's hands were always so warm compared to his own. But, he let himself be held by the other man for some reason he still had yet to figure out. "You didn't say that you were moving to the Warm Red Pavilion?"

"Oh yeah! That was pretty recent so I never got the chance to send a letter up to you. It took way to long to get rooms set up and everything!" A-Yuan said with a sigh, though the excitement not really leaving his face as he let go of Shen Jiu's hand to grab a small jade tablet and held it up to the Shen Jiu's room door. The door quickly swinging open as Shen Jiu was dragged yet again, this time into the room.

...

I have no more ideas, so,

THE END