#i think it was less than an hour tbh because i did get lost first. still. a long time!

[wildwood-faun]

Ireland report pt 8: that picture that made the friends who got it in real time think they were gonna lose me forever

[yourlegacysnotyourstosee]

Late ahh dnp 2024 predictions:

- Valentines Day Heartthrob episode (they love this game so much) with another twist of some kind is the first dapg video of 2024

❌ first video back on the gaming channel is “will you press the button?”

- WDAPTEO 2023 comes out on very last day of January

❌ technically I predicted wdapteo but it wasn’t put out on January 31st

- Playing the next chapter of poppy playtime during spooky week

❌ they played it in February

- Sims episode of Spooky Week following Daliens emo ass

- Bob and Eliza die of old age, Dil befriends the Grim Reaper when he comes to collect their souls

- Dan and Phil Crafts revival video is taken down no more than 24 hours after it’s posted

✅❌1/2 points. Dnpcrafts video did not get deleted, but it was posted

- Dan makes it his mission to do the worst spon breaks ever/sabotage Phil, whose actually trying (like NordVPN)

✅ counting this as a successful prediction after Dans NordVPN fanfiction moment

- Heart Eyes Howell mention

- Phil wears an Extremely Expensive Shirt and everyone freaks out when those blogs that find people’s clothes post the price

- More crazy conspiracies about a wedding/child/pet/honeymoon

✅ these Phagenda theories are getting out of hand guys…

- Phil goes to the ER at least once

✅Good Lord I didn’t think it would be that bad…

- Dab and Evan make a science baby because Phil wants to know how it works

- They both get Hotter

✅BLONDE PHIL IS DOING THINGS TO ME IM SORRY

- They finally rid the Howlters of Drago, only for the game to crash and the progress to be lost. They view it as a sign that Drago cannot be removed from the household or terrible things will happen

- Alluding to a popular Phanfic that they Shouldn’t Know About

✅ok I know they’ve referenced some before now but the visceral reaction I had to Phil saying “lets not mention any sunburn or hamsters.” Made me qualify it here

- They continue to talk about cursed Lore and make fun of old conspiracy theories that get gradually more niche

✅ yeah that’s happening

- One of Daliens high school friends is abducted while they’re hanging out at the Howlter residence

- DITL of Dan and Phil at Pride

❌wishful thinking tbh

- Some kind of house tour that shows little to none of the actual house

❌dnpcrafts came close…

- Less frequent posting on the gaming channel

[foxaftershocks]

Hi!! I just wanna say first that I absolutely adore ur writing :) and I've literally never done this before, tbh, so I'm so sry if I've done anything wrong or smth. :)

But I wanted to suggest maybe a reader thats also an engineer and scientist for the Ghostbusters, who Lars always considered less able than him since reader was quite quiet, and would run their expermients in peace, never rly interacting with people. Until one day reader is talking to lucky or phoebe or smth, and goes off on a tangent when talking abt smth they're working on, and it's a very sudden realisation to him that reader is actually rly knowledgeable, that their intelligence is much greater than he anticipated.

Totally fine if u don't wanna write it, remember to take care of urself!! <3

I always take care of myself <3 you did nothing wrong, a totally perfect request. I hope you like it

You were sitting across the room from Lars, absorbed in your work, headphones on as your head nodded in time to the beat of whatever music you were listening to. He hadn’t heard you arrive that morning. Not an unusual situation. He never heard much from you ever.

You seemed to be so unaware of his gaze on you, watching as your hands moved, fingers typing, adjusting your equipment, writing something down in a notebook. That was something he’d noticed. You kept paper notes.

Insane. Absolutely nuts.

Your head tilted up and he realised he’d been caught watching. His nose wrinkled and he looked back to his own work. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t busy. He had enough to get on with.

There was no reason for you to be there. He kept trying to figure out what it was you did, what you contributed to the lab. You kept to yourself and no one else could tell him what it was you did. You preferred to work alone, and while he could empathise with that as someone who didn’t love working in a team, he did enjoy leading a team of researchers. You’d never agreed to joining him.

He had to assume it’s because you knew you weren’t up to the task.

When he next looked up, you were gone. The workstation was empty and there was nothing to indicate where you’d gone. He couldn’t imagine you were rushing off to tell someone of a great discovery.

You’d never had one before now.

It wasn’t that he felt contempt for you. Surely there was a reason you’d been hired. He just thought everyone should be on his level and you just weren’t. The proof was in the output.

Stretching, arms above his head, he figured it was time for another cup of tea, the one he’d made earlier having gotten cold as he lost himself in his work. Taking the mug, he sauntered towards the small kitchen set up in the back corner.

“So if I can just figure out where the spectrometer has gone then I think I’ll be back on track.”

He paused outside the door. That was your voice. At least, he was pretty sure it was. From the few times he’d heard it he thought it probably was.

There was something there in your voice, not something he’d heard from you before. It was close to excitement. Lingering out of sight, he continued to listen. He certainly wasn’t about to offer the information that he had the spectrometer you were looking for. It would be put to better work in his possession.

“You really think you’ll be able to figure it out?” That would be Lucky. He didn’t realise the two of you talked. Lucky was meant to be his intern, not yours. He didn’t know why it rankled him so much.

“Sure. I mean, Nadeem keeps letting me study him to figure out where the source of his magic is so… I can’t see why I wouldn’t,” you said, “oh but you remember when I hooked him up to the EEG machine?”

“Yeah. You got those weird readings, right?” Lucky prompted.

“Right and I spent hours staring at them trying to work it out. And then inspiration struck. So I thought maybe there was some kind of electrical field going on. Which would be crazy because usually we don’t think the two are linked. But fire conducts electricity and so can humans. So what if the magic is connected to ions? Seems simple, right? Only, the electrical charge usually comes from the gas around the flame rather than the flame itself. So does he actually manipulate the gas? Or, is it this pyrotron subatomic particle we haven’t found yet? I mean, in order to prove that one I have to find quarks in isolation and I think that would rock the science community more than proving the science behind pyrokinesis,” you said, almost all in one breath.

It was easily the most he’d ever heard you say before.

“Because in order to prove that I’d need to show that Nadeem is manipulating pyrotrons with psychic powers, probably through the electric signals in his brain, and making them hit isolated quarks, which don’t exist so… I’m back to looking at electricity in flames because clearly it’s to do with the electrical activity in his brain,” you said, with a sigh at the end.

Lars felt his breath catch. There was so much going on in your brain, so many thoughts, so many theories, and you were investigating something he hadn’t even considered looking at. Maybe that’s why you always worked alone. Your projects were on things no one considered researching. You looked at the world differently.

It was… refreshing.

He’d thought you’d ket silent because you knew you couldn’t keep up with the rest of the scientists. Instead, it looked as if you kept silent because your research was so different from everyone else’s. They were so focused on ghosts. You were trying to understand everything in its entirety.

He felt dumbstruck. Everything he thought he knew was wrong. It wasn’t usual for him and he felt on the backfoot. It was like you’d been lying to him but for that to be true you would have had to have talked to him. This was so much worse. This was him lying to himself.

You were so much smarter than he’d thought and it left him questioning so many things.

Walking through the door, he felt combative, like he wanted to start a fight. Your voice died as he did, eyes widening when you saw him. He offered a tight smile, pouring out the cold tea into the sink. He glanced over his shoulder, finding you turning away.

“I’ll see you later,” you mumbled to Lucky.

You slipped out of the room, not even offering him another look. He scrubbed at the mug, not wanting to bother making another cup, taking his frustration out on it.

“Rough day?” Lucky asked, sliding up to him.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he replied.

“No sweat,” she said, “but maybe don’t glare at people when you enter a room. It sure does clear it.”

He didn’t have a response to that, refusing to be shamed by a teenager. He left the mug on the rack to dry and walked out of the room, lips pursed, trying to work out how to feel about everything. He wasn’t used to feeling stupid and yet that’s where he was. He’d judged you because he never heard you talk. Because you kept to yourself. Because you didn’t feel the need to show off like the others around the lab did.

You were sitting in his sight again, the headphones back in place over your ear, pen tapping your notebook in time with your music. You didn’t even look up when he sat down, staring at you. If he allowed himself to admit it, you were lovely to look at. Even trapped in a world of your own, there was something there that he found pleasing. You were soft, like the worries of the world had never curved your shoulders, and your wide eyed gaze left him feeling like there was no pretence. You had never lied. He’d just been a fool.

He stood, hands already grasping the spectrometer he’d stashed in the storage behind his desk. trying to project confidence, he sauntered over with it. Placing it down in front of you, he waited a moment for you to notice. Your gaze dragged up to him and once again he was struck by how lovely your face was. You were slow to tug he headphones off, leaving them hanging around your neck.

“I heard you were looking for this,” he said.

You looked down at the machine in front of you then back up to him. There was a slight curve to your lips, an almost smile marred with a hint of confusion. Your eyelashes fluttered and you tilted your head down, looking back to the spectrometer.

“Thank you,” you said, voice sweet.

It was a sudden thought that he could probably listen to you talk for hours. Not that he’d ever be offered the chance.

“And uh, if you ever need help or want to talk through anything.” His hand came up, rubbing at the back of his neck. He hadn’t felt this awkward since his university days, “I’m just over there. I don’t know if you know. You seem to keep to yourself. So maybe you don’t want the interruption. But yeah, I’m just over there if you need anything.”

Christ, he was rambling. It wasn’t like you were the first pretty girl he’d ever talked to. He didn’t even have a crush on you. What was wrong with him today?

“I’m sure you’re too busy to help me,” you replied, voice quiet and far more put together than him, “you’re always working on something.”

“Oh,” he said, shoulders deflating. You were being polite but of course you didn’t want his help. Especially when you seemed to be a genius in your own right and more than capable of being brilliant without his input.

“Not that I don’t appreciate the offer. But you’re working on important things and I don’t want to bother you with my stuff. You’re probably working on some new weapon that will save someone’s life or something. My stuff is pretty silly in comparison.” Your head was bowed and he wished he could see the expression in your eyes.

“All science is important,” he said.

“No, I know but you know, my stuff isn’t saving the world like yours so, I don’t want to take time away from that,” you said, voice growing quieter the further along you went.

“I’m always happy to help,” he said, hoping it would be enough.

Your eyes darted up to him and he saw panic there. He took a step back, reeling from the look. He knew he wasn’t always the friendliest guy but this was a not the kind of reaction he ever expected from his words, especially when they were meant to be nice. He took another step back.

“Right, well, I’ll stop bothering you,” he said.

Thrusting his hands in his pockets, he wandered back to his own station, shoulders curved forward, trying to figure out what he’d done wrong. Other than ignore you, he couldn’t think of anything you would know about. It’s not as if his thoughts were broadcast over the tannoy system.

Only he hadn’t really been ignoring you, had he? He’d noticed you enough to form an opinion. He watched you. He’d grown used to your habits. He thought about you. Earlier that day he’d been watching you. There was no way he could pretend like you had been a non-entity in his life.

When he looked up at you again, your head dipped down as if you’re been looking at him just a moment ago. He found a flutter in his stomach, like a butterfly taking flight. The thought of you watching him was pleasing. Unless it was because you were wary of him and felt you had to keep an eye on him.

Finally taking the chance, he went to make himself another cup of tea, if only to try and ease you again. Maybe his presence made you uncomfortable. He didn’t like the thought that he made you uncomfortable.

He decided perhaps to keep his distance for a while.

A few days and he stayed away. He didn’t try to engage you in conversation, allowing himself to watch you when he thought you wouldn’t notice. The more attention he paid, the more he realised exactly how wrong he’d been. You kept to yourself, but you were confident in what you were doing. Something had alighted in him, the flame fanned by your confidence. Someone so capable at science was a turn on. He hadn’t expected that. He should have. But he hadn’t.

And he should have expected to hear you in the kitchen again.

“I just find him really intimidating,” you said, just through the doorway.

“Why?” Lucky laughed.

“He’s so smart and I know you’re going to make fun of me for this, but he’s really handsome. I’ve never been good around smart pretty people,” you said.

He lent closer, wanting to hear more. He didn’t know who you were talking about and the thought someone else in the lab was receiving such compliments made him feel disgruntled.

“Just talk to him,” Lucky said, “he’s not that scary.”

“I can’t,” you whined, “I get all tongue tied around him and he offered to help me and I just… I totally put my foot in it.”

Who else had been offering you help? He would hunt them down and make it clear to stay away from you. Or, no, that would just make you more scared of him. He had to gentle dissuade them from helping you.

“Yeah, trust me, he’s done that plenty of times,” Lucky snorted, “seriously, just talk to him again. Two awkward nerds deserve each other.”

You gave a small chuckle and he could imagine the soft smile on you face, small, underfed, and yet still there.

“I didn’t think he even know I existed,” you eventually said.

“Look, Pinfield is awkward and not always nice. But it sounds like at the very least he’s never outright insulted you. That’s more than Dan over in R&D can say,” Lucky said.

Pinfield. He was Pinfield. You were talking about him.

“Yeah, well, you crush on guys who actually give you the time of day. I crush on the silent guy who’s science is brilliant but who couldn’t be bothered with so much as a hello,” you said.

That wasn’t true, was it? He’d offered you help. And then gone back to not talking to you at all. He’d gone about this all wrong.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t take my frustration out on you,” you said.

“No, you should take it out on him.”

This was met with silence before Lucky’s laughter burst out, loud and long and he could inly imagine the look on your face. Not that he wouldn’t enjoy… He was sure it would be… Well, he was very open to it if the chance arose.

He slipped away to mull over what he’d overheard. He intimidated you. Because you had a crush on him. And you thought he didn’t like you in any way, that he didn’t even notice you.

Yeah, he’d fucked that one up. No one but himself to blame.

He paid attention for when you returned to your work station, across the other side of the room, quiet and focused. And beautiful. How hadn’t he thought that before? Or rather, how hadn’t he noticed it?

He was so caught up in his own assumptions about you he hadn’t taken the time to notice. He cursed his past self for being so caught up in his own ego to notice what was sitting right under his nose.

Steeling himself, he rose and made his way over to you. He loitered across the bench from you. You were still listening to music and hadn’t seemed to notice him. Tapping his finger on your notebook, he tried to get your attention. You looked up, startled, eyes widening when you laid eyes on him.

“I was thinking of going out for lunch and was wondering if you wanted to join me,” he said, trying to sound confident but also approachable. He realised he was treating you like an animal prone to startling.

“Oh, uh, I actually brought lunch today,” you said.

“Maybe tomorrow?” he asked, “I’d love to hear more about your work.”

“Why?” You sounded so bewildered it was almost offensive.

“I don’t know much about what you’ve been working on. Is it so odd I might want to know about it?” he asked.

“You’ve never asked before. Have I done something wrong? Because if I have I’m really sorry and I’ll stop doing whatever it is,” tumbled from your lips and he was reminded that you found him intimidating, “I really am sorry. If you just let me know what it is I can stop doing it.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” he was quick to say before you could continue rambling an apology for something that hadn’t happened, “I’m just interested in what you’re working on.”

“Why?” You sounded defensive now.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was trying. He was really trying. And you just weren’t getting it. You were making it so difficult.

When he opened his eyes you were frozen, as if waiting to be told off. Taking a deep breath in, he offered you a smile, his best attempt as he tried to when he felt such roiling emotions.

“You’re an asset to our team and you’re working on things I’m not involved in. I’m curious. That’s all,” he said, desperate to put you at ease.

“Oh.” You voice was so quiet.

“If you don’t want my company I understand. I thought it would be nice to get to know one another a bit better. Whatever. I see I was wrong.”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned away from you. He must have misheard. Clearly you and Lucky hadn’t been talking about him.

“Wait,” you said. He paused, looking back at you over his shoulder, “lunch would be nice.”

His shoulders relaxed and he let the corner of his lips curl up in a small smile. Your answering one stole his breath.

“Come on then,” he said.

You hopped off your stool and he realised you didn’t even come up to his shoulder. He could wrap you up in his arms and you would be completely engulfed in him. He found that thought tempting.

Walking beside him as you left the lab, you weren’t looking at him, gaze turned towards your feet. His hand closed around your arm, steering you in the right direction. You looked up at him, eyelashes fluttering. His head dipped towards you, not able to stop himself. There was something about you.

He spent the entire lunch watching you, basking in your presence. You were slow to open up, answering his questions about your work softly. But once he got you going, your eyes sparked and the words tumbled from your lips faster than he could have thought possible. Your passion was clear and it only drew him in further.

“I dunno. Maybe’s its stupid,” you said, tucking some hair behind your ear.

“I don’t think it sounds stupid at all,” he said and noticed the way that seemed to turn you bashful. Your chin dipped and you couldn’t look at him. He lent forward again, over the table, trying to catch your eye, “you sound like you know what you’re talking about.”

It was a quick flash of a smile, that same piece of hair falling forward again. You reached up to tuck it back again but his fingers were already there, doing it for you. You looked up, mouth falling open but you didn’t seem to be drawing back from him. His fingertips brushed over your jaw before he retracted his hand, pulling it back to his side of the table.

“Oh,” you said, almost a whisper, practically nothing but the movement of lips without sound.

“I’d like to do this again,” he said, assuming honesty was better than beating around the bush.

The look of surprise that passed over your face wasn’t what he’d been hoping for. But then you softened, that small smile reappearing.

“Really?” you asked.

“Sure. I find myself fascinated by you,” he said.

“Like I’m one of your experiments?”

He hadn’t expected that.

“No. Christ no,” he said, perhaps louder than intended, “fascinated like I like you.”

“Oh.”

“Can you say something other than that,” he demanded, then realised that wasn’t a good idea, “please?”

“Okay,” you said, giving him a shallow nod, “we can do this again.”

“We can?” He brightened, “we can.”

“But only because I like you too,” you said, not looking at him again.

So he had heard right. He felt a sense of satisfaction hearing the words from you. He would never admit it, but it wasn’t often someone liked him. Maybe that’s why he’d been doing so badly with you. Or not so badly since you were going to go out with him again.

He led you back to the lab, hand resting on the small of your back, the material of your jumper soft against his skin. You were half a step closer, leaning into his touch more.

It was a good sign.

Thank god he’s listened in to your conversation with Lucky otherwise he never would have been able to find you. And he thought you might be changing his life for the better. Your smile was already capable of brightening his day.

He was excited to see what was to come with you.

[sky-kenobye]

Fic idea that I've been obsessing over in the last couple of days:

TLDR: Obi-Wan gets dumped on his wedding day, Anakin suggests they get married instead to save Obi-Wan the humiliation (and money), he agrees, they get married and nobody realises the stunt they pulled (except for the few people they told), and they both realise that actually it's great to be married to each other and that they wouldn't have it any other way, and probably get their happily ever after.

(A lot more details under the cut for those who are interested!)

Obi-Wan is getting married to someone (I was thinking Satine at first but I don't want to bash on her just because she's in the way of my ship so let's say an original character 🤷), Anakin is his best man, and it's a kinda big and traditional wedding and they did the 'you can't see your bride until the ceremony' stuff, so Obi-Wan is already at the city hall(?), while the bride will be coming later, just before the start of the ceremony.

It's less than an hour before the start and some early guests are already getting there. One of the bride's guest (Padmé?) is arriving when she gets a phone call from the bride, telling her that the wedding is canceled, sorry for calling at the last minute but she had to call all the guests and she was the last one. At the same time Anakin is coming out of the building for whatever reason and Padmé is like 'wdym it's canceled? The best man is here, and I can see other guests!'. The bride kinda panicks and hangs up, and Padmé flags Anakin down to ask what's going on.

He's also baffled because Obi-Wan didn't say it was cancelled, he's ready to get married and everything and he saw him about 10 seconds ago. They try to call the bride back but she doesn't answer, then they try to call another guest of the bride that Padmé knows. She answers and they learn that apparently the bride called in the morning and said that Obi-Wan had cancelled the wedding and dumped her at the last minute and they were each calling their half of the guests to tell them not to show up (which is clearly a bunch of lies from the bride).

They go and explain all of this to Obi-Wan who's confused and angry and heartbroken. He manages to get on the phone with the bride who properly dumps him, and by that time there's very little time before the ceremony was supposed to start. Most of the (Obi-Wan's) guests are there, and it's kind of (very) humiliating to have to go in front of all these people that he knows and tell them "wedding cancelled, I've been dumped, you can go home", and on top of that it wasn't a super cheap wedding so that sucks, and the catering is already ready so he'll have to throw away a ton of food? Not a great situation.

So Anakin has an idea: what if they get married instead? It's crazy so Obi-Wan tries to argue against it:

We can't get fake married! Then let's get real married!

People will still know I've been dumped and I'm pathetically trying to save face! None of the bride's guests will be there so i doubt it.

It was still her name on the wedding announcement. Okay then, maybe she dumped you like idk a month ago and I took the opportunity to declare my secret love for you!

And we got married less than a month later? It's hard and expensive as shit to cancel a wedding on such a short notice so we took the opportunity! It's not so unrealistic for me and I could probably convince you to do it.

But then we'll be married. Yeah, so? There are worst things in the world.

Obi-Wan is skeptical but not saying no yet, and Padmé is like 'honestly coming from anybody else I'd think they lost it, but from you two? I can see it. Not even sure I'd be all that surprised tbh'.

Obi-Wan's not having a great time and getting married to Anakin sounds a thousand times better than telling people what actually happened so he says fuck it let's do it.

They form a quick battle plan: Obi-Wan will go talk to the officiant to change the bride's name to anakin's (is it legally possible in any country? Probably not but let's pretend it is and that the marriage is still valid), Anakin will find them new best men/women (probably quinlan for obi-wan and ahsoka for anakin? Or padmé since she's already in the loop) and brief them on the situation, and Padmé will find a ring that fits Anakin (she borrows one of the guest's, maybe Owen Lars'?).

Only a few minutes late, they come out in front of all the guests, do a quick speech explaining the unexpected change (with a few lies of course), and the ceremony begins. Everything goes smoothly, Obi-Wan improvises very moving (and actually 100% honest) wedding vows, Anakin is crying and forgot they needed wedding vows but manages to put a few sentences together which are equally as honest as Obi-Wan's and make people cry too (they think he forgot his vows because of the emotion). They put the rings on each other, kiss and all of that, and when they leave the building they're both beaming so wide that it doesn't occur to anybody to be suspicious, the grooms look so happy and in love!

Then it's time for the reception and everybody has a great time, the grooms have a very sweet first dance, and they're all over each other the entire evening, how adorable! And if they disappear for a little while (Obi-Wan may be happy to get married to Anakin but he still just got dumped, so he may want to have a few minutes to breath in a quiet corner and get a good hug) then everybody assumes they're making out in a closet or something. Owen laughs at them for forgetting the rings (which is what he assumes is the reason they needed his ring), and they get a lot of friendly ribbing for 'keeping their wedding a secret' from pretty much everybody.

And maybe after a few drink they do really disappear to make out and decide that marrying your best friend that you've always kind of been into without ever admitting it is pretty amazing actually.

[w0rmm1lk]

Hiiii! I’m back in my bnha phase and I’m here for a request!

Could you write Bakugo (or Kirishima) x nonbinary! S/o who’s like, extremely selfless and tends to forget about taking care of themselves since they’re usually focused on taking care/helping other people?

yesss ofc!

(I wrote this in a headcannon format I hope u don’t mind <3)

characters: kirishima

summary: nb!reader needs to take care of themself but luckily they have a certain someone there for them.

warnings: swearing

🪨- when I say you are selfless I mean I’m the way of— carrying around a bag constantly filled with snacks, bandaids, water ect. You don’t like fountain water? You also have bottled. Even carrying pads in shit for the girls

🪨-Kiri loves how much you be taking care of everyone tbh. 🪨- gets stressed out bc he can’t rlly call you manly or womanly.

🪨- ends up just calling you humanly.

🪨- he didn’t notice at first that you weren’t taking care of yourself.

🪨- mainly because you were concerningly good at hiding it.

🪨- he noticed the first signs when you had slight dark circles under your eyes.

🪨- he mentioned it around some classmates only to quickly learn you had been acting as a therapist for todoroki like every night????

🪨- he then soon realised how dehydrated you were when someone offered you some water and you downed the entire bottle in less than thirty seconds.

🪨- he was genuinely concerned. Like asked you about it with this really weird look on his face.

🪨- “uh— Y/N? You doin okay— I swear I just watched you unhinged your jaw for that water—“

🪨- “oh yeah I’m doin great! Don’t worry about me I just haven’t drank water in a while lol.”

🪨- “a while as in a few hours…right”

🪨- “right…?”

🪨- “…”

🪨- “y/n. When did you last drink water—“

🪨- at first he didn’t think much of it— maybe you were just a little forgetful recently since exams were coming up.

🪨- he was very wrong.

🪨- he watch you as you basically teleported across the room because someone lost their pen.

🪨- kirishima finally realised he need to talk to you about it when he noticed you hauling about 3x the normal amount of clothing you washed towards the laundry room.

🪨- “hey y/n-! I— I didn’t know you owned *that* much clothing—“ he sounded weirdly awkward as he tried to not be too forward about the situation.

🪨- “oh! I heard denki and Mina mention they were behind on chores because of how much they’ve both been studying compared to normal since Momo offered to tutor them… so I decided I would help them out!”

🪨- “y/n… as a man I really respect how much you care about out class but— isn’t this a little too much? You should really take care of yourself more…”

🪨- his words made you think a bit… it had been a really long time since you did anything for yourself.

🪨- “well… I feel like it’s a little rude to stop what I’m doing right now after I promised them—“

🪨- “after you finish this then.. and let me help! It’s not very manly of me to watch my partner carry this much stuff without helping!”

🪨- his idea of you resting was watching movies in his dorm as he heald onto you so tight that you didn’t even have a chance to attempt to escape.

Ngl I was struggling wit this one but that’s 1 more post out there so 🕺🕺

[youremyheaven]

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/757046870112681984/httpswwwtumblrcomyouremyheaven75703907683788?source=share 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭ohh my god really my college boys are so immature 😫😫 that's why they treat my freinds like this btw your 24 are you pursuing you master's or job really i am studying in college and intrested in vedic ans stuff but bruhh i hate my college boys they are just 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 we all need a responsible man just like him hope i find one can you tell what your experience in first relationship and firt time in ✨️it ( if you not comfortable don't tell just need some advice) AND FOR YOU I AM MANIFESTING THAT GUY AS YOUR HUSBAND

Cheek dapat dam dam chuu swaha ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ heaven giel get this guy as husband with more greatness 👏

😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹🥺🥺🥺you're SOOOO SWEET, pura ka pura cutie pie <333

i graduated already and im just working at the moment. i dont really feel like studying further tbh lmao and im entering an industry where work exp matters more than degrees so✌🏻

and yes college boys will always be shitty, dont lose hope, after college you'll meet better guys!!! <3 and the thing is dudes under 25 are just little boys,, veryyyy few of them are mature and this guy is the rare exception

NSFW CONTENT MINORS DNI

my first time was when i was 16-17 and the guy was 18 and a major asshole and he forced me to "date" him and then he r*ped me 🤡🤡🤡so i technically lost my virginity to r*pe but i dont want to think about that or consider that as my first time

i had my first "real" boyfriend in 12th grade and on Farewell day (its like the Indian version of Prom for all of you non-desis) he took me to his house and no one was home so we banged hehe<3333 he had a huge dick and it hurt and im pretty sure the whole thing did not fit lmao

i feel like a lot of virgins dont understand this but (and this also depends on the guy's penis size) penises dont often go all the way in when you're having sex for the first time!! and it takes a while for your punani to stretch comfortably and "take" d*ck. ALWAYS USE LUBE, the more lubricated you are down there, the easier it will be to take him in. your partner should be understanding and considerate of the fact that penetration is a physically painful experience initially and they should do whatever they can to make it less so.

that said, penetration SHOULD NOT HURT after the first few times, it SHOULD feel good. you dont have to be waxed bare down there or anything, obviously its nice to be groomed but its okay to have a little hair (or a full bush, thats up to you but i feel like first impressions matter so i like to keep it trimmed hehe, ik a lot of feminists are going to be like 😠😠no i wont shave for a man😠😠 but honestly he's shaving his balls for me and id feel a bit awkward if he was veryyy hairy down there so i get it and dont mind grooming in return<33)

sex should be enjoyable for both parties??? and remember real life is not porn!! he's not going to last for 6 hours and neither do you want him to because being pounded into for more than like 10 mins is annoying tbh and you'd just wish he'd come asap ,,, remember that sex is like physical exercise so u get tired after a while,, the whole "fuck all night" stuff is rare and mostly happens in movies lmao,, as long as you have time with them, you can go multiple rounds but feeling tired is real asf

ALWAYS USE PROTECTION, they might try to pull the "my dick is too big for these local condoms/it doesnt feel good with condoms" etc excuses BUT TRUST ME THOSE ARE LIES,, just USE PROTECTION

in india, we have something called an "i-pill" (morning after pill for non desis) and its less than 100 bucks at the medical store. no one will ask you anything for getting it, they usually dont care so dont hesitate!!! its better if the guy can get it for you and if your guy wont even buy you an i-pill then should you even be having sex with him????

there are side effects to taking the i-pill, your period may be late/have heavy flow/irregular bleeding, or you can experience nausea/dizziness etc after taking it. thankfully i have no symptoms and it feels normal ish but exercise CAUTION!!!

put a pillow under your back when you have sex, it helps make it hurt less!! bc your back is supported.

always clean up after you have sex!! go take a shower, gargle your mouth, make sure you dont have any of his cum near your kitty because semen will find its way inside you in mysterious ways 💀💀

STAY SAFE, HAVE FUN <333

AYYYYY 😭😭😭idk about husband stuff yet but I do hope my future husband is just as attentive, caring, considerate, loving, warm and kind as him

but u are soooo sweet MWAH MWAH

love,

Heaven

[gabzilla-z]

ok quick thoughts, spoilers behind the cut.

Pros:

Halle. HALLE. H a l l e. Her voice, her face, her mannerisms. They took what made Ariel special in the animated movie and built on it and she was the perfect person to pull it off.

Her beauty was distracting.

So glad they finally got a singer for a live action, I couldn’t take another B&B autotuned disaster.

Made me want to get to the nearest rock and play mermaid ngl.

I had my doubts with Jonah but he did a great job with Eric, played the shy, kinda awkward potato prince charming to perfection. Loved that they expanded his backstory and his interest in adventure and the sea. Also A+ for the movie knowing he had a white shirt on while surrounded by water and using every chance it had to drench him.

Eric still being caring and worried about Ariel even under Ursula’s spell? 10/10 no notes.

He came to chew bubblegum and be dreamy and he was all out of bubblegum.

Halle and Jonah’s chemistry was insane, I need them to do ten movies making eyes at each other.

Seriously the movie could have been 2 hours of them interacting in that library and it would have been money well spent.

or just two hours of them being cute smol and tol in a boat idc

TRUE LOVE INDEED

Can’t wait for this movie to be out in D+ so I can reblog all the gifs.

Part of Your World and all reprises were ofc gorgeous. Vanessa’s Trick is haunting and exactly what one would want for a siren song. For the First Time is gorgeous and underrated, felt very Broadway-esque. Eric’s song was corny but in a good way.

The rest of the songs are adequate but are not as good as the original ones.

Gotta said, song aside, the Kiss the Girl scene was more endearing in this version. When she helps him figure out her name?

Melissa was good as Ursula and made the character her own, though I think she was not as scary as she could have been. Better than I expected, though.

The actress that plays Vanessa knew she had 5 minutes to make an impression and used them to the fullest. Delightful.

Cons:

The CGI felt unfinished and so did the color grading/lighting. I edited all the movie images in this post (just played with the saturation and the contrast) and I’m mediocre at best. HIRE TUMBLR EDITORS, DISNEY.

Halle deserved to wear more outfits, I can't believe Disney missed an opportunity to sell more dolls. Would have given her a dress for each day on land and the water dress. Mouse, I thought you liked money.

we could have had it all

Wanted more of her sisters tbh. And less Triton, Javier phoned it in imo. I know Triton and Ariel’s relationship is an important part of the original movie but idk if it was his half assed acting or me wanting more of the sisters, but I wasn’t moved.

Flounder's weird character design was saved by his stellar voice actor and Sebastian grew on me, he was hilarious. Scuttlefina was tolerable but gosh she’s always playing the same character, stop casting her in everything.

Less I say about Scuttlebutt the better. Kids are probably gonna love it, though.

The ending was kinda weird? It felt rushed and the battle with Ursula was disappointing. Which is a surprise because the OTHER stormy scene at night was wonderfully done. 

Up to Ursula taking Ariel back to the ocean it felt really cohesive but the second Triton appears to save her it was like they were trying to speed things up and it got... weird.

Didn’t mind Ariel being the one that killed Ursula, after everything she put her through.

Cannot believe the movie robbed us of Jonah screaming “I lost her once, I’m not gonna lose her again!”

Overall it was a well paced (up to the finale), entertaining, charming movie. Despite its faults, the only Disney live action I want to rewatch (outside MAYBE Cinderella).

8/10 Justice for the foam dress.

[gentle-hero-blog]

ummm i've been having thoughts about that game again :] i wanted to do a sort of review-style post because I have a wide range of feelings about it and. I want to ^.^ this is my blog where only the strong survive

Thoughts about Metroid Prime 3: Corruption (pt. 1/3)

starting with: The Bad

the beginning 😑

I've heard this complaint from a lot of other people and I agree. unlike Prime 1 and Echoes the first 1-2 hours of Corruption can feel like a hurdle to complete before you get to actually play. imo this is the only metroid game i've played that feels this way and I feel a lot of it has to do with a) the drawn-out dialogue (see below) b) the length and c) the very on-rails structure of the tutorial which doesn't give you much room to explore (at least to the degree that MP1 and 2 did)

some of the dialogue is just word salad tbh

corruption likes to use way too many words. I feel like just condensing the dialogue throughout the game (esp. with regards to the AUs) would make it more impactful and easier to digest imo.

I almost feel like you can see the seeds of Other M's notoriously hated monologues in this aspect of Corruption ToT

uhhh. i'll call this "hurry up and wait syndrome"

this kind of ties into the beginning again...there are certain sections where the game/other characters WILL NOT stop telling you how urgent the situation is, but the pacing itself is so slow that it almost negates it in a way?? a small example is the cutscene where you find Ghor in the hallway on Norion. iirc during this cutscene he urges Samus to get moving at least 3 separate times, but you the player physically can't until the cutscene stops. samus just stands there like she's dissociating so he can finish his dialogue. the game tries so hard to "build tension" by telling you to MOVE YOUR ASS and yet it's also constantly forcing you to slow down. <not as much of a problem after the beginning but there are still plenty of examples

more of a generic sci-fi game vibe than the previous two games??

maybe this is personal preference but MP3 doesn't feel quite as unique as MP1 and 2. not a totally bad thing and it makes sense with the added story elements, but some of that definitive Metroid feeling gets lost I think. there's a lot less of that restraint Metroid is known for just due the cinematic spin this game has

suchhh a small complaint. I don't like how The Samus Jingle plays every single time you get off the ship

it just feels cheesy idk. it's like if the jingle played every time you used an elevator in MP1 and 2. only hearing it when you start playing (like in most other metroids) would've been my preference

[ozai-the-bonsai]

I will be raging on and on about damn stupid f*cking hormonal birth control fyi I NEED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

I have been using combi pills for almost 18 months now, the first 9 months were literally perfect compared to my previous experiences with the pills, I didn’t really experience any side effects. But then it started with the constipation cycle, where I would get constipated for a WHOLE FCKING WEEK every month either on the third week or during the week off. I mentioned this to my obgyn and she said constipation is normally not a side effect of the pills WHICH IS PURE BULLSHIT I HAVE RECENTLY FOUND OUT AFTER GETTING LOST IN SUBREDDITS FOR HOURS DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY WOMEN ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING CONSTANTLY BLOATED AND CONSTIPATED BECAUSE OF THE FCKING PILLS?!?!

Anyways I was gaslighted into thinking my body simply hated me but since I could not (yet) pin the bloatedness and constipation to the pills I did nothing. And it was fine considering all else.

Then my headaches got more and more frequent. I mean, I have never known myself without headaches, I think I have something chronic but they do even less research for headaches and migraines compared to women birth control so no hopes here. Mama has migraine, grandma had them too so OF COURSE I have it as well but mine is milder, without aura, however even though it is not always sooo bad that I want to scratch my eyes out, it happens too often for my liking. Moreover, if I don’t get migraines I get other kinds of headaches like whenever the weather makes me feel too much pressure or when it suddenly changes from summer to winter (which happens A LOT in Germany). Anyways, I give my best to avoid taking painkillers too often but I am tracking the shit and I now (in my exam phase) tend to get headaches four fcking days in a row each week.

I know I have always had headache problems but it has never been this bad.

Oh and not to mention that my obgyn prescribed me the pills with the lowest dosage of hormones since my only concern is not to get pregnant (and not to have my period shift +7/-7 days each month it was exhausting with pregnancy fear and so forth). I guess pills with even less hormones is not an option.

But the worst thing started three months ago. I HAVE LOST MY FCKING SEX DRIVE. To provide more context here, I have been like super horny ever since I can recall (ever since puberty hit and stuff), and I loved it tbh. Normally, my boyfriend and I would have some sexy time at least once a day (we got together a month before I started the pills) if we had enough time maybe more. But lately, he is glad if it happens twice a week. I have literally stopped thinking about sex and I HATE IT I USED TO LOVE THINKING ABOUT SEX!!!!

Currently I have constant headaches, I am constantly bloated and constipated more often than it is healthy and I have nearly zero interest in sex anymore. I mean, what it the fucking point of taking hormones to prevent pregnancy IF I NO LONGER WANT TO HAVE SEX, PEOPLE?!?

I just hate it. I started hating my body because I look like I am pregnant all the time - I have what some might call “a pilates body” like lean and low fat and some muscle and stuff, and my body doesn’t really hold fat so whenever I follow a good schedule it takes only a month for my abs to show. And imagine now how such a woman would look like if she were constantly bloated. I look literally pregnant all the damn time with my lower belly sticking out like a fucking balloon so I stopped wearing figure toning clothes I USED TO LOVE THEM

I will be switching to IUD in a month and initial plan was to switch to a hormonal one but I have been reading and reading and I am not sure anymore if I should prefer the copper one. I am completely lost. I won’t be returning to condom only because I have had more than enough accidents with it and had to take plan b before often times, this is a risk I simply cannot take. Plus the irregular periods make it harder to track when my ovulation can possibly happen…

Long story short: I hate the way birth control industry is only interested in giving the male all the freedom while showing zero fucking interest in the way all this stuff is effecting the female. Most doctors do not even ACKNOWLEDGE side effects like losing sex drive and constipation and bloating WHICH ARE MORE COMMON THAN YOU WOULD THINK, ask any women with hormonal bc experience for more than a year. I hate it all with so much passion I hope these people spend the rest of their lives constantly stepping on sharp lego pieces and having chronic migraines and I wish erectile dysfunction to the males involved in this business. Have a good day.

[theinfinitedivides]

I thought I was seeing things when I first saw the oneus news today. They aren't my ults nor was ravn my bias (keonhee hello) but my friend loves him and I've had to console her all day.

Regardless of if it's true or not, or half true half a lie, it's B A D and I can't really see anything other than him leaving.

At first it read so much like Lucas' situation last year in NCT for me so I was a bit unsure, but there seems to be far more evidence. Also, I'm not one to discredit someone making such serious accusations. It should be taken seriously.

I don't really know how to feel. I was meant to see them live and I do like their music a lot and enjoyed his voice, and now it just feels... empty?

Not to mention it makes me scared. It may sound selfish (because it partially very much is), but it makes me wonder what other group is next. If there's anything else that someone I look up to has done that goes along these lines. It makes me feel sick. It makes me want to tune off anyone I may enjoy watching or listening to.

It just makes me wonder what else is secretly tainted and I HATE that. I really hope this situation is resolved and taken seriously by the company and that he leaves. And to anyone who loved ravn or oneus, I hope you're doing as well as you can right now 💕

i completely understand, tbh—i starting following oneus during their pre-debut days and then really got into them after their official debut in mid January of 2019, which was a really rough period for me since i had just lost my aunt a few weeks prior at the beginning of the month. i think my relationship with them was more of a comfort group than an ult, in a sense? even if after this news i do decide to continue listening to them (which, depending on what RBW decides to do, is still an option) that's the category they'd stay in, although i'm not sure how much comfort they'll offer.

i was also hesitant to talk about it here bc it did feel like the Lucas situation (which still has some contradictory points in my opinion/much less evidence for the case), but as soon as i saw the OP talk about how he gaslighted her and mentioned wanting to kill his ex-girlfriend i knew i had to speak up. on the writeblr side of Tumblr i've been gaslighted and threatened by several users over the years (all of whom i have blocked and reported), so ik how terrifying that can be in my own life. no one should have to go through that, especially at the hands of someone who claims to love them/wants to marry them in the future.

my Spotify library has been..... in limbo, during the last few hours, and i haven't touched a single song from them. it sucks, and it's not fair to the rest of the members, but this isn't like with Woojin or Wonho where we had circumstantial evidence (which was shaky at best and eventually proved to be downright false in both cases), or with Hanbin, where the evidence we did have was greatly blown out of proportion and the actual crime was much milder than we thought. this is a detailed list of allegations with electronic trails, and he has had his hands in most of the group's work. Blood Moon, which earned them several awards, opens the album with a prequel track—an absolutely gorgeous piece and some of their best work to date—where he raps through a lot of the lines with Leedo. i don't know if i'll be able to separate the art from this part of the artist, and frankly i don't want to think about that rn when everything is so fresh.

pls know, however, that you are completely valid in being worried about other groups—not a day goes by where there's a new scandal in the industry and i don't immediately think of some of my own biases, and i wonder if getting into k-pop was worth it. but you do not deserve to have your happiness taken away from you bc of things that have not happened yet (and may never happen) to people that you enjoy listening to.

at the time i'm answering this RBW has put out a statement saying that they're investigating the charges and taking them seriously, but they won't be commenting on anything else until the internal investigation is finished. even if he is proven innocent (which is looking to be more and more unlikely) he's pretty much ruined his career, damaged those of his fellow members, and ended years long friendships with other 4th generation idols. (CyA from onewe [oneus' sister band] privating all of the tracks they produced together and unfollowing him on SoundCloud is a pretty clear sign in my book that this is as bad, if not worse, as we think it is—they've been friends for years, and him taking this step [after most likely trying to confirm the details himself] means both bands are on very shaky ground.) i don't want oneus to disband—not when everything is finally starting to look up for them—but i want people to be held accountable for what they've done. if him leaving is equivalent to that, then let him leave. let him leave, and let the others live in peace. let them come to terms with this, and figure out what they want to do next. let them be able, in the future, to stand on their own two feet, so that fans can hear about oneus and think of their music and their accomplishments. not this.

[muffin-man-marq-lynch]

It's been almost 24 hours since the pre-show and I feel I'm just finally processing what we just saw? Like were my expectations just set too low for my first live PPV or was that really good for Forbidden Door?

Just off the top of my head and skipping the pre-show:

- MJF gets thrown as a warm up pleaser act for the Long Island crowd in another pleather robe and bright blue and orange gear and tries to crowd-surf.

- MJF then mugs hard with as many of his specials as possible in 10 minutes including one of Adam's finishers and an Ole Ole Kick bit outside the ring straight out of Punk vs Joe 1 & 2.

- The Robe game is so on point for Forbidden Door that Tanahashi came out in something covered in Boas that would make Cruella De Ville jelly (This isn't even touching The Day Glow Eye Robe) and we didn't even notice once Platinum Max dropped the line "I'mma kill you like you killed Okada's Career"

- Elite Hardy Brothers Kissies barely made the top three Kissies this PPV insane

- I loved Mina before this match and I knew she wouldn't win and there was no way they could make it okay is there a loophole where Mariah can just pin the victor and win because we're not allowed to actually have the secret lesbian polyamory endin- oh we are?! And we have!!

- Nigel McGuiness's level of commentary Pettiness for Bryan's match was unmatched and I am so so so glad I caught up on watching This Documentary like a day before the PPV.

- The growing disconnect between commentary and textual on-screen queerness happenings growing wider and wider until it feels deliberate and hilariously played into halfway through like a dubbed Sailor Moon joke. Watching video of Mina and Mariah make out while talking about how they're best friends and Toni is a mother to her. Nigel calling Wheeler Yuta 'Danielson's Young Boy'.

- Gonna be honest I'm not following the Zack Sabre Jr & Orange Cassidy yaoi plotline yet but 'freshly squashed' Orange Cassidy did look very sad when he got fucked hard in front of all those people, forced to safeword, then got handed his sunglasses, and told to call an Uber with no aftercare.

- Absolute tonal whiplash then (or not if you're into that, we do not kinkshame here at AEW) when Samoa Joe's twink of the season forgot his compression shorts and Hook wanders out with a prominent boner?! With some staying power, and I am reminded like three minutes in that his father is one of the commentators and not Mr 'we do not kinkshame here at AEW' so I'm sorry it's all I can think about while they're getting CAMERA angles for the big screen and his dad is talking about how his son is the least experienced of all the guys on the mat

- LADDER MATCH GOOD. Everyone in it so sexy holy shit. Mark Briscoe you feral little demon what was that jump from the chair in the ring? Titty twister. We need to keep Takeshita more often too goddamn, sign something. He should have won. Shocker at who did but eh. No surprise wins this PPV.

- Speaking of, Stephanie Vacquer? Holy shit? Uhhh can we get her vs Mina? Please? Forever?

- Jon Moxley is a puppy and he was so lost they dropped him off at the wrong door and he was wandering around trying to find the ring and say hello everyone for so long.

- When you've been intimately engaged with someone's body 63 times before it says a lot to pull out the toys (Steel Chair) less than 2 minutes into the fight.

- The kind of muted and very split approaches to Swerve vs Will made me really nervous tbh, like were these very casual fans? More New Japan people? I was very worried with Ospreay being a fan fave for so many people that even with him being set up as the heel in this fight, and given the kind of Meh response to the reigning champ who is cool as fuck (but West Coast and black and more of a brawler in his best fights) they were going to do some disrespectful shit and yank it off him like they did to Kofi Kingston to try and help ratings.

- Holy shit can I say that that fear was misplaced? That was a Hell of a fight. Great story. Swerve is SO much better at story than Ospreay and he sold that shit as well as showed off the technical chops that got him the championship but I have Never Liked Will more than after watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Swerve. His selling has always been meh to non-existent, but it was way better here, and some of that is the camera focus on Swerve yeah but the ending? And the Post-PPV clips in the ring and behind the scenes? I am EXCITED for Wednesday. BANGER fight. THAT'S MY CHAMP.

[xb0rder-7inex]

I'm still blocked and he wasn't on RS last night so that makes two nights that I've been blocked now lol. Except he was on RS the night before which I made a post or two about but I think they got lost somehow. I suspected he was going to remain abusive and he was. One night of him offline isn't enough for me to assume anything though. I had a feeling he wouldn't be on and Im pretty sure he did it on purpose lol.

I'm curious if he will unblock me today or if he'll keep me blocked.

After the first 24 hours it gets easier. Which is why I was hoping he'd eventually stay away this long. Because I need to get to a point where idc if he comes back. I truly don't even care what he's doing while he's gone because he talks a lot of shit. I know for a fact he hasn't done some of the shit he's said lol.

I don't really but I know he will probably pop back up at the last minute. Every time he blocks me he leaves it a little bit longer. Idk what he's trying to do tbh or if he's just trying to get a reaction.

Our trial is in less than two months and a lot can happen in that time but it's also not very far away at all. I've decided not to make any concrete decisions until the week of, that way I'm not acting on impulse and I know what I'm going to do.

I'm still pretty set on having him removed from the courtroom while I testify because I don't need to give him more ammunition to abuse me with. I don't need him to be sitting there taking mental notes. He doesn't need to know what I say.

Other than that I'm just gonna go with it and see what happens lol.

Last time I tried to move on he had a meltdown and tried saying that I cheated on him even though this is exactly how he was acting. It made things so much fucking harder for me and he wouldn't just let me live my life and Im not fucking dealing with that right now.

[arleneworld22]

Blessed & tiredness

Last weekend I went to Ensenada with my brother and father, it was a kind of rollercoaster trip, there were many moments where I felt stressed and my bro too because my dad wasn’t exactly organized about where to go, but for the rest, everything was fine.

We went to walk at the pier and the rain caught us, it was very light rain, we went to one of the most old buildings of the town but before that, my father let us by our own to find the entrance to this place while he go for something to eat and the principal entrance was closed so my brother and I just walked around there looking for another entrance, in the middle of nowhere we found this canal where I see too much potential for a photoshoot and I took… idk like 20 photos I guess xd (but I don’t regret anything *extremely proud* lol ) I’m going to post all the photos in my IG later.

I loved the view, I liked the rain, I liked to saw the sea, I don’t remember when was the last time I saw it, and to be honest I can’t helped but think about you, I always associate the sea with you and it feels great tbh. For the last we went our father’s friend’s house because he had something for him and at first my brother and I felt very stressed about that because it was the house of a stranger, but actually his friend and his wife were very friendly (she thought I was 16 lol, and even my brother could talk to them normally (I forgot to say that we eat some bread and drink coffee together) and they also enjoyed our visit. The way back home was very stressful for me but also very educational, I learn many things about driving in road but the stressful part was the fact it was night and rainy and sometimes the rain was too much and other times stopped and then started again and we’ll, so on. We dinner tacos when we arrived at the city, I felt a dizzy so I just eaten one :( . That was our Sunday’s adventure.

On Monday I go to my work to sign something about the internship, they just want to make sure about my personal information and suddenly they told me I can also add my parents to get the medical services and I was

-wait- but, that’s sounds like something to someone who is already working on this…

-well… yeah(? Basically

-Does that… does that mean I passed the test?…

-yeah! Of course!

-NO-WAY!!!!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😍😍😱😱😱*screams in fangirl* OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

-yeah!! Congratulations!!, now we just have to wait when you are going to start ☺️

* hyperventilating * 🥹

Then I went with my other supervisor to ask her if there was more documentation to sign or something and… yeah it was something more, but it wasn’t about my internship, it was about a complaint when I worked last time in the urgency department 😅 to be honest, they were already late lol, it’s just, the complaint wasn’t directly to me, it was about how VERY VERY slow service were the day this patient came and actually I agreed with him, that day the service sucks, it was just one doctor working and the other… idk what was going, seriously in all the 12 hours I was working he just passed less than 10 patients. So my supervisor was very empathic and trying to make me feel good but I was like “oh it’s ok, actually it wasn’t my fault and I agree with him, and also I was expected other patient to make a complaint” lol so she just said that I had to make a report explaining what happened that day. It was easy. That afternoon I went to a park with him and told him the good news, how was the trip, we see this lady bug 🐞 and saw the Space X pass 🚀

On Tuesday I was planning to go to this municipal place with him to get plants free but… the archive of my report suddenly disappeared and I had to did it AGAIN and my bf already arrived and he was waiting and I get stressed and I lost many time so when we finally arrived at this place was already closed :’( but we remembered there was a new park near to this place so we went to know it and go for a walk, it was very nice, they have gooses! And a lake next to enjoy the view and I played in some park games, it was a good morning. I give the report and had a normal day at home.

Then the Wednesday… I had a normal day, just doing my chores, sleeping and did some exercise, I read about what happened with her and… I have something to say but I’m going to save that for another letter, it deserves a unique letter for that, so, this day my supervisor texted me to work the next week in the laboratory but in less than 10 seconds she said “wait WAIT WAIT, girl, change of plans, I call you now”

-Oh hi girl, how are you, aren’t you busy?

-Oh good night, no, I’m free, what happened?

-Oh perfect just to tell you that you start tomorrow your internship at 8am

…

That I WHAT?!

YES I STARTED MY INTERNSHIP YESTERDAY!!!😭😭😭💕💕💕

[foggyparadisecandy]

[Trauma dumping - scroll on by if you are looking for horny stuff]

I know, I know ... another one. I'm just purging it out as fast as I can. Catharsis in a public blog. Why not?

This one in particular is written for my ex-partner even though I know she won't read it. I just have to play pretend to feel remotely good about things.

Hey D - I want to start off and say that I love you, I care about you, and I forgive you for anything and everything. Please remember that you can always reach back out to me.

Yeah, what you did was pretty shitty tbh. But ... it's ok. I mean ... yeah ... do better. Good people do shitty things on occasion and IDK.

Maybe I'm way off base but everything points to a horrible trauma response. I could be wrong. I don't think so though.

Either way, who gives a shit at this point. I forgive you and the point of this letter is to ask that you don't use your treatment of me or us to beat yourself up.

It hurt. It still hurts. It probably will hurt for awhile but I'm going to come back stronger than I was before so, in the end, it will be a net positive for me. Except for losing you. That ... really ... is awful tbh.

I've told you how much you brightened my life in other letters so I'm moving past that one here. Let's talk about me for a moment and where I'm at and where I'm heading so you can feel like "hey ... Foggy is going to be ok ... I didn't permanently harm him and it seems like he's actually doing well."

And let's really quiet that subconscious that makes you want to feel bad - at least on this particular issue. It's all going to be better than fine for me in the end. I know that and you should feel ok about me.

I've made a lot of new friends who have been very kind and accommodating to my pain. You know I'm a curious dude and it's been very interesting to hear so many stories from other people. Love it.

I've reconnected with some old friends - online and in RL. I've got a pretty full social calendar these days which is a first in ... a loooong time. Pretty ironic considering how much I was always telling you to build connections and my own were thin.

I've started working out. It's only been 7 weeks and I'm doing pretty freaking good tbh. I started doing pushups and planks every time I thought of you but ... that got exhausting fast ... you are always on my mind lol. So I cut back to 30 minutes per day.

I've had it out with my wife about everything. Well ... not exactly everything but most things. I'm not sure where that goes but I know I don't want to go back to a boring status quo situation. You opened my eyes to a new way to exist and I want more, not less. It'll be ok either way - I know that for sure.

I've lost 8 pounds in 7 weeks. This one isn't really a blessing lol. I couldn't eat or hold food down for the first five weeks. Only really started eating again recently. But it is what it is. I wasn't heavy at all but I'm happier thinner so ... a win?

I've ... mostly ... started to be able to sleep through the nights again. For the longest time, the most I could sleep was 3 or 4 hours then wake and could not drift back off. I still ... am struggling ... a bit. Woke up the other morning at 4 am crying. That wasn't fun. But it's rare lately and I'm guessing will be gone soon enough. Not sure if this is a win or if it's me just feeling sorry for myself. I'm guessing the latter but I'm leaving it in here because it *is* better than it was early on so it's progress.

I've started therapy to figure out why I chase after helping others (mostly women) to fill the sad little hole in my soul. Actually ... I already know why. You know all the shit with my mom and ... yeah ... I'm working on it. Trying to get healthy for the first time since I was a ten year old kid. Kind of silly that it took you breaking up with me for me to figure this stuff out. It is really breaking me down to realize my life since ten has been so fucked up with trauma. Can you imagine not clearing your trauma away for that long? Can you imagine that? I hope not. Did you get that hint? I hope so.

I've refocused on work for the first time in a decade. I've set some huge fucking goals. I want to hit it big and I've given my team through the end of next year. I'm going to do it and then I'm going to fuck off from work and shift my priorities to something else - something more fulfilling. It's still to early but I want to take some of those self-improvement things we did together and do something with them for others. I'm using them on myself so I can see how they work and where they need to be fine-tuned. We'll see how it all goes.

I'm trying to figure out what makes me genuinely happy. All of my belief systems have been shattered tbh. I ... don't know yet if that's bad or good or just is what it is. I don't know anything atm about love or happiness or fulfillment or ... anything. I'm still more than a bit lost. You untethered me from everything I knew about myself. I'm not saying this is a bad thing ... I'm saying ... I don't know what comes next. Knowing me, it's going to be fucking great and better than it was. I've always been pretty good at solving problems and making great things happen for myself and those around me (as you know).

I'm doing my best to be kind to myself. I am not sure when the last time I was kind to myself was. I honestly can't remember when I've had a decent thing to say about myself. It's always been "do better" "be better" stuff. I'm working on it as fast as I can. Beating yourself up is an awful way to live. Not sure why I need your splitting on me to figure that out.

I have realized ... despite everything ... I am a good and decent and kind person. I lost sight of that for a hot minute there. I'm not perfect. Hah. Nope. But I do the best I can and I am quick to take steps to change up when I know I've fucked up. But yeah ... I'm good and decent and kind. I know those things now better than I ever have.

And ... you are good too. I know it deep down in my soul.

I see it in you. You are not your father. Far from it.

And you didn't permanently hurt me here. Lots of good will come from this. Believe it. Thank you for everything.

And I believe good things will happen for you. I have full faith in you.

I am no longer in a position to tell you what to do but ... please work on your trauma. For your own sake. And find a new path in life. I know you feel like your current job is your life but ... that job will bring you nothing but misery and sorrow and trauma and damage.

You deserve better. You know that. Deep down, you know everything we shared showed you a different path.

You deserve far better.

You might need to go through some pain to get on a new path but I know who you are. I know you are a fighter and know how to get shit done. You can and will do it. Start planning. Start doing.

And legit ... I'm still here and willing to boost you along in life.

I've always wanted one thing: to see you reach your full potential. It's amazing. The world is waiting to see it.

One final thing that I have discovered and honestly I feel really good about this one - even if you never reach out again:

I love you sincerely and wish nothing but the best.

[lucysweatslove]

Notes of the day:

Went to Winco to get weekly bulk candy, goat cheese, 90 oz of cereal, avocados, and 12 Rockstars because they were $0.88/each for the first 12. Rob got some other stuff too but I can’t remember them all and they’re mostly for him (like deli meat ham)

I actually forgot about the cereal until just now, even though one bag is my absolutely favorite cereal (fruity dyno-bites with marshmallows) and the other is a close second (frosted mini spooners). I’m actually excited to have a bowl tomorrow.

Had my very first Vyvanse dose. It didn’t fuck me over with adrenergic symptoms!! Aside from some slight nausea and dizziness, almost nothing. Overall I felt better physically on 10mg Vyvanse than I did on even just 18mg of Strattera but def WAY better than 36mg Strattera. You can’t really compare them mg to mg, but a normal starting dose for Vyvanse is 30mg (typical max dose for adult ADHD: 70mg), and a normal starting for Strattera is 40mg (typical max dose 100mg). So, it’s the 10s are kind of comparable to the 18mg Strattera in terms of how I’m approaching dosage increases

I actually fell asleep for a short mini nap on the Vyvanse?? The funny thing is, the Strattera made me super tired during the daytime, too, but it was… inappropriate. Today’s sleepiness just felt appropriate for my low sleep last night. And instead of a 1.5-2 hour nap, it was just a normal person’s short 30 min. Much better.

I did finish The Book Eaters and give it a 7.43/10 which rounds down to a 3.5/5 stars on my spreadsheet but rounds up to a 4/5 on Goodreads. It was overall enjoyable but the moral ambiguity and how the little kid is portrayed just… it just wasn’t my thing I guess. I get WHY they didn’t have a 5yo kid act like a 5yo kid, but I also didn’t think it was entirely necessary how they portrayed “his” personality and felt disingenuous. Tbh too much like those tweets where a parent is all “my kid said ___ today, isn’t that so profound and meaningful” but you know that the kid isn’t saying that- the adult wants to say it but knows it’s less profound coming out of their adult mouth. And there were some moments of “this wasn’t thought out and was done this way for plot to keep going rather than having a reason behind it.” Like conveniently placed weapons cabinets that you never heard about until somebody who lost a weapon and then has a new one has to explain where they got the new one, but the lost weapon was this huge plot point earlier where it wouldn’t make sense to have a readily accessible, well stocked weapons cabinets. Anyway. The queer representation was done well IMO!

A lot more of my books came today. Like 6 or 7 I think!

And now little Oreo is fully snuggled into my legs and both my boys are snoring. It’s s good night.

[archive-double-knots]

Seferino claims he has no favorite cousin

it’s ACTUALLY Mirabel.

Perhaps because he looks at her and sees himself. He sees the way that she exists as separated from the casita but still a part of it, he sees the way that the rest of the family looks down at her, and he sees the hurt behind her eyes, the overjoyed and over eager enthusiasm that covers it

He looks at Mirabel, and Seferino sees the kid that lost his father at ten, and the kid that withdrew from the Casita, and that stopped enjoying life, and the kid that hates himself almost as much as the world does.

seferino does NOT get along with Abuela, nor does he spend time with most of the family to be honest. the biggest reason?

HIS PARENTS.

Xiomara and Bruno ended up never getting married, and he was born out of wedlock. And then bruno and xiomara were ‘just friends’ and seferino was both in and out of the family at the same time. He went between the Casita and his mom’s house every week, every day. He’d sleep at the Casita then his dad would walk with him and they’d have lunch with Xiomara, then they’d go around town the three of them. It was nice, but Seferino knew that he wasn’t living the ‘Madrigal life.’

then he turned ten, mirabel didn’t get her gift, and bruno went missing–and Seferino was the new scapegoat of the family. He spent more time with his mom then with the madrigals during the first few months of bruno’s disappearance and this drove a huge wedge between him and them. Abuela saw him as abandoning the family during their time of need, He saw it as taking care of his mom. The madrigal half of his family had each other, his mom had no one.

He thinks he’s “Bruno’s greatest mistake”

Abuela and him don’t get along, and like he feels so bad for Mirabel too. And tbh I can see him thinking (about Mirabel) that it’s okay she didn’t get a gift. Better than getting a gift like his, right? At least no one in town will be scared of her

he was born 5 years before mira, when bruno is 35,and xiomara's 37 and their engagement gets broken just a month before he is born.

mira was born shortly after he got his gift, and he was told by a spirit that mira wasn't going to get a gift a few hours prior to the ceremony. he told his mom, but she hushed him and told him to not tell anyone, "do not add fuel to a wildfire."

So, how he connects to the dead is by drawing circles on his palm.

xiomara helped him create the circle idea. Seferino was worried about being like his tia pepa and being unable to control when he could hear dead people or not 

so they created the ritual as a sign that he is okay to hear them, and it basically causes him to focus in and listen vs just being over whelmed by it all the time he ends his 'ritual' by clapping and throwing salt over his shoulder

During Bruno’s disappearance, He did try to contact his dad. Only because Sef was convinced he wasn’t dead, and wanted to prove it to his mom. So he showed her and she was like “… that’s good… right?” And they both agreed it had to be a good thing. However, he didn’t know his dad was in the walls of the casita

Also; Seferino has tarot cards that he plays with. He can use them for divination too, aka: he can channel the dead thru them. It’s easier to channel them through something tangible mostly because it takes less mental toll on him. So typically he’ll draw a circle on his hand, use his cards, then clap & salt

Because it’s a LOT less mental strain when you just pick cards and interpret VS hearing the voices of many many many dead people all at once

He doesn’t get to pick who he talks too. Not ,,, exactly. It’s more of like: Seferino: Will my mother get married? A chorus of voices: says a lot all at once Seferino: drawing circles on palm The voices: continues “Not now. But in the future.” is heard many times Seferino: claps, throws salt, blocks the voices ™️ out So, he can ask “Is my father dead?” And hear a chorus of voices that will eventually settle into a unified decision of an answer But it could be something like “Only to the family.” Or “Depends on who you ask” Or “No, he’s alive but unwell.” Or “No.” Like ,,, sometimes the answer the dead settle on is straight to the point. Other times it reveals more than wanted. Sometimes it’s cryptic as fuck.