#i think it really is worth a watch even if you dont want to consider it canon necessarily

[shoechoe]

People think Homura in Rebellion was out of character? All I could think watching it was "what the hell- actually yeah she would do that"

[todayisafridaynight]

what's also great about the ichi watch is that the gold and red goes well with the arakawa-inspo outfit i have..

[harksness]

Coffee Cake

A/N: ok i don't know a ton about whats going on in the show ive mostly just watched the trailers but i did hear rio is apparently gonna be agathas ex? so that's kinda what i based this around lol if i'm missing any other info thats why tho,, i dont really care for spoilers i just havent been seeking them out yk so i hope this is good!!! im nervous i missed something important but i hope yall like it aidhsjdj :')

the request!

Warnings: None I think?

WC: 3.7K

Agatha Harkness is a greedy, selfish woman who will do anything for power. You know this much about her is true. 

It’s what made you so cautious of her at first. So reluctant to agree to join her and her little band of misfit mages when she sought you out in your dingy little magic shop.

She approached you with a sly grin and praise, telling you that she could see the potential in you. How strong your magic could be and how she can help you harness it.. If you let her.

Everyone that’s remotely aware of the magical world knows about the cruel and crazy Agatha Harkness. But for you, she’s never just been a story to be gossiped about. She’s been a semi-regular customer since you inherited the shop. She’s stopped by for your services once every few months, except for that long gap recently where she was trapped, since you’re able to provide supplies and books for spells that aren’t so easily attainable.

You know she was also an avid customer of your fathers, but he wouldn’t let you around if he knew someone dangerous would be dropping by. So it wasn’t until your father passed away five years ago and you inherited the shop that you really met Agatha. Ever since, she’s been a cautious acquaintance. Someone vaguely on your radar.

You didn’t even consider the possibility of you being on her radar too.

After dwelling on her offer for a few days, reluctantly, you agreed to it. And even more reluctantly, you allowed them all to meet up in the basement of your little magic shop once in a while.

But you remained wary of the older witch. She followed up on her promise to help you grow your knowledge of magic and expand your abilities. But as the two of you spent more time together, you began to warm up to her and she started opening up to you. Her smooth sense of humor and jokes didn’t all seem like a ploy to get you to let your guard down anymore.. You could tell by her soft smiles that weren’t there before that she just enjoyed making you laugh.

And after some time, Agatha started to show a genuine curiosity in you outside of magic. Your life, interests, family, and she even went out of her way to compliment you. She had never done that before. She was putting a lot of effort into really helping you grow, and you were becoming rather grateful for her. 

Your father always pushed the importance of knowing how to supply witches properly. Knowing everything you could possibly know about herbs, potions, crystals, tarot, spells and how to attain them, but not much practice or knowledge in the way of making it all work effortlessly together by yourself. Or even much in the ways of wielding your own magic, for that matter. You’ve always wanted to know more, but your father was adamant against it. So you just settled until now.

You would have late nights spent alone amongst the dust and boxes in the basement of your shop, her hands running over yours to adjust the way you wield your magic during different spells. How close the two of you would get under the bright, fluorescent lights hanging over your head.. And how inevitably, you’d long forget about the lessons and would favor sitting and chatting about anything and everything into the early hours of the morning, perched on an uncomfortable fold out chair that makes your ass hurt but every second was worth it to be with her.

Agatha Harkness is all of those horrible things that you mentioned before. But she’s also so genuinely funny and effortlessly charming, intensely passionate and caring despite those flaws.

You were warming up to her more than you realized. You would frantically practice magic in your time apart, desperate to impress her and earn her praise. Laughing just a bit louder at her jokes and wearing your hair the way she complimented. Picking out more clothes like the ones she said look lovely on you..

You weren’t simply warming up to her. The obvious soon smacked you in the face that you were tumbling down a rabbit hole of romantic feelings for the woman. The realization came in the simplest of ways, Agatha brought you coffee from your favorite cafe down the road that you pass every day on your way to work. She remembered your favorite order and your favorite treat, a proud little smile on her face as she handed you the food. And everything about your developing feelings smacked into you like a semi truck.

Panic coursed through you. You didn’t know what to do, you couldn’t hide these feelings forever. It would become obvious eventually with the amount of time you were spending together and gosh, what then? How would you deal with the suffocating embarrassment of being turned down by her?

She’s the Agatha Harkness. One of the most infamous and influential witches in history, hundreds of years old and a historic icon.. She would never want someone like you. She’s important. She commands powerful, intense magic, goes on great adventures. Her daily life is what great legends and myths are composed of. Agatha’s leaving her mark on the world.

While you’re just here in your rundown store.. Taking orders at your shop, helping people select which crystals they need and counting your register.

You’re lucky enough to play a part in her story, even if it’s just a small one. Even if it’s just supplying her with what she needs and supporting her. Hopefully, when the legend of Agatha Harkness is told for years to come, your name can be mentioned in a brief line.

As if all of those self deprecating, existential feelings weren’t bad enough, Rio soon waltzed into your little group and things were made even more complicated.

It was impossible not to notice the tension between Agatha and Rio. the way their gazes lingered on each other.. Words exchanged that seemed flirty but you couldn’t really tell if that was the case or if you were just jealous, the constant sneaking off together and being found passionately exchanging soft words. And you just felt shoved to the side, pushed out.

No more did you and Agatha have long nights spent in the basement of your shop. You’d slink away from the group the second you got the chance and gave up trying to get Agatha’s attention. Or when you had to stick around, you’d cling to Billy or the lovely Mrs. Hart. The few moments you were able to finally get to Agatha, Rio would always conveniently swoop in and steal her attention away, so you didn’t even bother after long. You felt defeated.

But once in a while, you’d catch her bright blue eyes catching on you. Gaze lingering, features creased with conflict. Once in a while, it seemed as if Agatha was trying to work her way over to you and Rio would conveniently step in the way. Or maybe you’re just being too hopeful.

Already having felt unworthy of Agatha’s attention, you quickly accepted your fate. Rio is so much more powerful and worth Agatha’s time, it makes sense why she’d ditch you for her. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that it feels like a knife was planted in your gut, and it twists every time you see the two of them lingering together.

Eventually, you were so overwhelmed that you just needed a break. So you locked yourself in your little apartment and slept in as late as you could, just wanting to ignore your complicated feelings and problems for one day.

But then you made the mistake of deciding that a little treat would be the best way to give yourself some comfort. So, you exited your little apartment a bit after eleven in the morning, desperately craving your favorite coffee and regular breakfast treat.

Walking back home, you were happily sipping on your coffee but disappointed that your favorite breakfast was all out by the time you got there. So instead you grabbed a coffee cake, happy with it but some of your excitement was stomped out at the fact that it’s not what you were craving, but it will do. You have to eat something.

Your steps come to a sudden halt when you see Agatha a few buildings ahead of you, and you notice she’s at your apartment door. Peeking in your window and taking a step back to do her best to look into the windows of your home situated above the little store. 

You’re so surprised that you’re not able to act quickly enough to avoid her eyes inevitably falling onto you when she turns her head. The street is vacant of any other people, presumably all at their regular nine to fives instead of in the back streets of the city with little stores that aren’t needed much at this time of day.

Her stressed features relax when she sees you, and she’s immediately moving down the sidewalk towards you. The wind catches her long braid and the end of her open black coat, and she’s wearing a white button up and skinny jeans underneath. She bobs with the intensity of each step she takes towards you, and you notice a coffee and a little brown bag pinched between her fingers.

Well. Deciding that there’s no avoiding it, you begin to nervously walk towards her, eventually meeting her almost halfway.

“Where have you been!?”

Agatha exclaims, almost a shout but not quite. It takes you a bit off guard, her features stern with worry and frustration.

“I just decided to stay home today, I needed a day off..”

You speak softly, feeling yourself growing anxious under her gaze. You glance around nervously, unable to decide whether to settle your eyes on the cracked pavement beneath your feet, the large “for sale” sign hanging from a window of an abandoned store across the road, or the trash can sitting outside of the little sandwich shop to your left that closes too early in the day.

“I feel like I haven’t seen much of you lately, I’ve been worried..”

Agatha’s voice drops into something softer when she says that. Your chest tightens at her words, concern heavy in her stunning blue eyes as she regards you for a moment, silence overtaking the two of you. You want to grab her and shake her and yell at her because it’s her fault you haven’t seen each other much, but from the tenderness in her voice and her eyes you don’t have the heart to be angry right now.

“Let’s go up to my apartment and we can talk.”

You gesture back to the door she was just standing outside of. Agatha glances behind her before nodding her head, silence overtaking the two of you as you walk back towards your home. You walk by the barber shop that’s already closed for the day, it’s run by the sweetest little old man that doesn’t have much energy for it anymore, and find your front door.

You fumble with the lock for a moment before it opens and you begin leading her up the narrow, lopsided stairs of the old apartment building. She closes and locks the door behind her as she does so, and once you reach the top of the stairs, you unlock the second door and hold it open for her as she steps into your little old one bedroom apartment.

It’s nice and cheap enough to keep you happy and living comfortably. It has a sizable living room and kitchen, a big bedroom and a bathroom with a washer and dryer crammed into it. There’s no dishwasher, but air conditioning and more than enough space for you and all of your stuff so you absolutely can’t complain. Luckily enough, you do know enough magic to make doing the dishes a lot less of a task.

And with the barber shop below you being closed most of your time home, anyways, you don’t have to worry much about being disturbed or disturbing any neighbors. It’s quiet, cute, and it has everything you need. It’s decorated with everything you love, it feels so homey and comfortable and.. You.

Agatha seems to notice that right away, all of your negative feelings momentarily being forgotten and a warmth spreading throughout your chest as a soft smile spreads on her face at the sight of your little home.

She’s looking around as she sets her bag on your dining room chair, abandoning her food from the cafe on your table before she starts to look around. She looks over all the pictures on your fridge, and you can tell she’s really stopping to take them in as her smiles shift with each photo she looks over and she lets out little laughs through her nose at some of them.

Agatha looks over all of your little decor strewn about, and any pictures you have hung up on the walls as she takes a step into your living room.

“Your place is so.. You. I love it.”

She speaks softly as she approaches the little table under the window that’s overflowing with your own collection of herbs. She leans down, peering at them and smiling at the little trinkets and crystals that you have planted in the soil of the pots.

You feel your face beginning to flush red at that, everything feeling so sweet and intimate suddenly. You fidget with your coffee as she turns around and continues to poke around your apartment, a look of pure adoration on her features.

“Uh.. Why did you say you were worried about me earlier?”

You speak up suddenly, the words tumbling out of your lips as you hope to distract her from looking around further right now. This moment is too sweet, you need to put a stop to it before you have to spend the rest of your life longingly reflecting on it.

Her gaze flickers towards you. Agatha straightens up, clearing her throat as she moves to sit on your couch, perching gracefully on the edge of her seat.

“I feel like we haven’t seen as much of each other lately... I’m just.. Worried.”

You feel yourself getting gassed up at her words. She’s been pushing you out, spending quality time with Rio and she has the audacity to say that? A deep sigh escapes your lips as you set down your cup of coffee a little more firmly than you would have liked.

“Agatha.. We used to be close. I thought we’d build a really strong…”

You pause awkwardly, a frustrated huff of breath pushing past your closed lips as you try to think of the right word to explain the relationship between the two of you. Agatha quirks an eyebrow curiously at the action.

“...Bond.. But then Rio waltzes in and I’m just forgotten about. You’ve barely talked to me, that’s why you haven’t seen much of me lately. You’ve just been too busy sneaking off and flirting with your green witch."

Your eyes narrow, anger seeping into your words as you spit them at her, folding your arms over your chest and huffing angrily. Agatha stares at you for a moment.

“I like you, Agatha! Fuck! I thought we had something!”

She seems surprised when you shout those words out, silence deafening around your angry words as you gesture between the two of you, doing your best to emphasize what you’re trying to say. Your frustration is boiling over, not caring anymore about the embarrassment of your feelings getting out when she’s being so damn oblivious about how she’s treated you.

“But it’s like you’ve just forgotten all about me.”

Those words are soft and quiet, contrasting your previous ones. A smile quickly breaks out on Agatha’s face, her head tilting back as she laughs, her obnoxiously witchy cackle escaping her lips. You feel your face flush, lips pursing in anger as her laughter crescendos.

“Okay, if my feelings are so funny you can just get out!”

You’re shouting over her laughter now, anger bubbling forward as she immediately stands, smile still on her face as she crosses your apartment over to you.

“Sweetheart, I’m laughing because Rio is my ex. There’s no way in hell I’d ever get back with her. We’ve got a long, complicated history, and I’ve been trying to smooth some things out and figure out the best way to explain everything to you. I felt.. Awkward that my ex barged in on everything.. And I didn’t know what to do.”

Agatha gestures around vaguely as she explains. You feel dumbstruck, your mind numb at the information that was just dumped onto you.

“Especially when I do like you so much… Your ex barging in on everything like that can be a bit of a romance killer..”

You blink dumbly at her, shocked at her first admission of having any sort of romantic feelings for you. She sighs as she begins to walk around the table, analyzing your features for any signs of discomfort as she speaks.

“I like you. A lot. I think you’re such a pretty, sweet little thing that swooped in so unexpectedly and stole my heart in a way I’ve never experienced before..”

You feel your anger and frustration ebbing away at her words, instead your chest fills with excitement. She approaches you, cautiously reaching for your hands. You let her take them, her long, soft fingers wrapping around yours as she tilts her head downwards slightly to meet your gaze, soft smile toying on the edge of her lips.

“I haven’t had my eyes set on anyone but you for a long time. And I’m..”

You can’t help the little smile that forces its way onto your lips as she stumbles through her apology. You think how hard she’s trying is cute, especially with how sincerely she’s trying to make things right for you.

“I’m really sorry about how I dealt with everything.”

The words eventually tumble past her lips, and you squeeze her hands softly as you tilt your head up towards her.

“Thank you.. And yeah, knowing she’s your ex.. That’s pretty awkward. You don’t have to explain everything to me right away, what you’ve said is more than enough.. But.. You’re sure, I mean, about me?”

You ask nervously and she looks confused at your words.

“I mean.. I’m not something great, amazing or infamous like you are. Or Rio.. I’m just some girl who runs a store.”

You simply shrug and she stares at you dumbly for a moment before letting out a noise of disbelief.

“Sweetheart, you’re so much more than that. You have to be extraordinary to catch my eye. Trust me.. You’re something special.”

She speaks the last part softly, the most sincere and adoring gleam lighting up her already bright eyes.

“I don’t want her.”

Agatha gestures vaguely, and you know she’s talking about Rio, and you're appreciative that she’s trying to focus more on this moment being about you.

“I don’t want anyone else.. I just want you. Only you.. And I have for a while now.”

She’s smiling down at you, a soft, fond tone lining her voice that’s going to make you turn to mush any second now. You feel as if your heart is going to burst right out of its chest.

After a pause, you can’t help but lean forward and press your lips against hers, a surge of bravery washing over you at her words. You feel her smiling against your lips as she returns the kiss, her soft mouth moving against yours sweetly as she lets go of one of your hands, raising it to cup your jaw.

Your skin feels electric under her touch, and you crave more of it. Your mouth widens into a big smile, leaning further into her as your head grows fuzzy at her attention, desperately craving more of her.

Her other hand trails up your arm to hold your shoulder, digging her fingers into your skin as she holds you softly, pulling you closer to her. You’re grinning like an idiot against her lips, raising your arms to wrap around the back of her neck to pull her even closer.

She pulls away for a moment to laugh softly against your lips, the two of your eyes meeting for a moment as you smile softly at one another. Her eyes crinkle around the edges in the cutest way. Overwhelming excitement washes over you, the room tense with the giddy-ness of new love and the sweet moment. You lean in to kiss her again, but she speaks before your lips can connect with hers.

“I grabbed your favorite coffee and your favorite treat for you.. But I see you already went out and got some..”

Agatha sounds a bit disappointed that she couldn’t surprise you. But your smile widens at her words, a soft laugh escaping your lips.

“Well.. They were all out of my usual food when I got there, so if you really were able to snatch up my favorite treat I just might have to thank you.”

You wink suggestively at her, and a look of excitement crosses her features.

“Oh? And how would you do that?”

She speaks lowly, teasingly as she leans down towards you. 

“It’s your prize, I think you need to tell me what you’d want from me, hm?”

You fight the urge to giggle at the excited grin that grows on her features. Leaning down, her eyes catch on your lips before she softly brushes her nose against yours. The sweetness of the action leaves your mind spinning, dizzy off of the romantic that is Agatha Harkness.

“How about one of these, for starters..”

She’s pressing her lips against yours again. Eagerly, you meet her, pushing your lips into hers. Your arms tighten around her neck, her hands moving downwards to wrap around your waist and you feel like a lovestruck teenager at how your insides turn to mush at the action. Deciding to tease her just a bit, you pull back, just slightly enough to where you can feel the heat of her warm breath brushing against your lips.

“Do you like coffee cake?”

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐋♡𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 [Intro]

"I dont care how many names you've screamed in the past; tonight, you're screaming mine."

Or alternatively: you're moving away in a week, and that gives Jungkook seven days to try and make you stay instead.

Tags/Warnings: Fuckboy!Jungkook, Fuckgirl!Reader, Angst, Misunderstandings, Friends/Enemies to lovers, Very suggestive, adult, hurt and comfort, smut, did I mention angst? It's worth it in the end tho promise

Length: didn't count I wrote this while watching anime oops

There is no taglist for this fic.

A/N: Hello boo haha

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

There's not much you can really say about him that's not just absolutely confusing.

Well- maybe you also kind of are at fault for making things so confusing in the first place, because down the line, everything about this mess is kind of your own fault.

Jungkook knows you as loud, happy, sexy and open-minded. You dress like a barbie, you laugh without trying to appear a certain way, and you know when to act dumb to get your way. He also knows you as sexually adventurous, active, and open for everything if it fits within your own personal boundaries. He himself considers himself a hedonist after all- he chases the purest forms of pleasure, be it sexual or platonic. It's a little cute how he can find a certain sense of fullfillment and happiness from just being hugged or talked to- though you know that he's also very aware of his own charms, and knows when to weaponize them.

He takes good care of himself- something you don't see often to this extend in guys his age. They typically aren't at that stage yet where they realize that their body is something to be cared for to keep it healthy for a long time- and if they do care about their body, they end up almost obsessed with it, never thinking about anything else, suddenly only looking at everything from a purely aesthetic perspective.

He's odd. But in a certain way, he's exactly what you knew you'd end up crushing on. Hard.

And that's the problem. He really, Really wants to hook up with you.

Now that's good, right? Who would say no to their crush asking to fuck them- it's a jackpot, really, is it not? He's also very obvious with his interest beyond just sex as well- he constantly flirts, invites you to his place, or visits yours. He pays for any food you both get together, he visits the movie theater with you, holds your hand in a cheesy way just to make you blush, calls you baby, darling, princess and so much more. So what's the fucking issue?

The issue is that you're an absolute fraud.

You never have wild dates or exciting sex. You never actually experienced most of the stories you've made him believe, and you most certainly aren't more experienced than him. In fact-

you've never had sex. At all.

You're a virgin.

And Jungkook thinks you're an experienced sex-goddess. Because that's what you want him to believe. That's what you made him believe.

It really started with simple white lies- whenever your apartment was cluttered to the point that it made you embarrassed to invite him in, you'd just hiss out the door that you had someone over. Then it evolved into trying to impress him with made up experiences, just to fall into conversation with him.

And suddenly, it all got out of control.

Now you've created a whole entire persona that isn't actually real at all- and it seems like that'll ruin all your chances with him for good. Though, if you think about it, you have to admit, that if he fell for your made-up-character,

did he even fall for you at all?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"I mean that's cool and all but-" Jungkook says as he walks next to you, hands in his pockets. "-how're you gonna travel every day from Seoul to Busan? That's two and a half hours with KTX." He mumbles, looking out for you by gently pushing you closer by your shoulder to make way for a bike riding past you.

You hate how domestic it feels. Like he's your boyfriend or something.

"Uhm yeah well-" you mumble, looking down at the tips of your babypink heels. "-that's why I'm moving. To Busan." You admit, and it's silent for a moment while you both walk around the park together.

You're not sure what he's thinking. Is he giving up? Sure, that would hurt, but it's also for the best. In busan you can start over, away from all the lies you've made up here-

"How can I make you stay?" He asks suddenly, and you re not sure if you've heard him correctly.

"What?" You ask because of that, and he shrugs.

"How can I make you stay?" He repeats. " I can't leave Seoul because of my job and all- but I know that you've got the option to stay here instead of being transferred to Busan." He explains. "I'm not sure why you want to leave, and it's none of my business- so instead I wanna know what I can do to make you stay instead."

"Why would I stay?" You just answer, hands behind your back as you jump a bit with every step next to him, trying to mask your nervousness with your usual childish acting. "You can just fuck someone else and forget about me." You laugh, when his hand reaches out to hold onto your bra strap, keeping you still as you stop walking. "Hey-!" You bark, until you see his face.

"I don't wanna forget about you." He tells you. "And I don't just want to fuck you either." He denies, looking at you now in a more serious manner.

"Well you're gonna have to." You shrug, crossing your arms.

"How long?" He asks suddenly, a challenging glint in his gaze as he crosses his arms as well, muscles in his arms defined as the fabric of the sleeves of his black T-Shirt stretch around his biceps.

"How long what?" You bite back equally as petty in tone.

"How long until you move?" He asks, chin up as he watches down towards you.

"A week-" you start, and he suddenly smirks impishly, before he reaches out to playfully tap underneath your chin, the gesture catching you off guard.

"That's enough time." He chirps happily, starting to walk again, a newfound confidence in his step.

"Enough time for what?" You wonder as you call after him, turning around to look at him.

"Enough time to make you stay." He boldly exclaims back-

Leaving you with an odd feeling in your stomach.

[honkytonk-hangman]

How It's Done (1/2)

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Aviator!Reader

Summary: “Like me? I didn’t even think you wanted me as a squadmate, let alone–” you stop speaking, but only because Hangman cuts his eyes sharply away from you to glare out at the ocean. “Well, I do.” He says kind of indignantly, all things considered, and eyes you almost sourly. “You can just say no if you don’t–” “–No, I do!” you quickly cut him off, because at the end of it all, you’re a little too much of a hopeless romantic to let this moment pass you by.

Warnings: erm maybe just some references to sex? jake being jake? language? minions. big warning for minions xD

Notes: This is part one of a two-parter, the next will be mostly smut lmao. Thank you for reading! I would love any feedback or comments and dont forget to reblog if you feel so inclined!!!

Masterlist

“Well, I’ll be damned…”

You pinch your eyes shut and steel yourself at the sound of the all too familiar Texan drawl, hanging on to the hope that perhaps he isn’t talking to you. You’re out of luck though, and moments later Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin slides into the open space next to you at the bar, already posed in a casual lean as he looks you up and down appraisingly.

It makes your teeth grind.

It makes your face hot.

“If it isn’t Mirage. Would have invited you to play with us if I’d known you were here earlier…” Hangman cocks his head, and his lips tip up in an infuriatingly perfect smile. “But one can never really be sure if you’re around or not… and that's before you get in a cockpit,” he grins, but when you meet his eye at last, he looks away from you, toward Penny who seems to approach in the nick of time, saving you from needing to respond.

You blink down at your drink, and finish it quickly, unnerved by what you think might have just been a compliment of sorts from Hangman. You’d been stationed together previously, though you weren’t friends, so you’d been expecting something a little more acidic in nature. You’d heard him interact with other aviators, knew he liked to push and poke them, usually got away with it too. For some reason though, he’d never really gone there with you and frankly you’ve always just chalked it up to not being worth his time. In fact, you’re pretty sure the only times you’d ever actually spoken had been in the sky. To be completely honest, you’re more than a little surprised that he remembers you at all.

You didn’t exactly go out of your way to stand out…

You were naturally quiet, which wasn’t helped by your social anxiety, resulting in most people describing you as extremely shy. They wouldn’t be wrong, you suppose, you did tend to keep to yourself, the idea of having too many eyes on you all but unbearable to you. But if you’d thought a roomful of people singing happy birthday to you was bad, somehow being under the unwavering stare of Hangman is approximately one thousand times worse.

“Penny, my dear… I’ll have,” he stops to glance pointedly down at your now finished beer, adjusts his stance to lean even more and unwittingly makes the muscles in his bicep bulge.

“Five more on the Old Timer,” Hangman says, nodding to the man who sits on the other side of the bar.

Internally you blanch, but externally, you say nothing and give even less away, feeling a little ping of satisfaction that apparently, you know something Hangman doesn’t. Before he’d come along, you’d been carefully watching the interaction between Penny and Captain Mitchell. You’d never met the man before, but you knew how to read military insignia, which at this point, was more than you could say for Hangman, who dismisses him quickly.

You wonder if Monday morning you’ll be able to work up the nerve to tease him about it.

You’re distracted from your thoughts when Penny returns with the requested drinks. You had no real intentions of going and hanging out with Hangman and the others, but before you can excuse yourself, your empty beer is smoothly plucked from your hands, replaced quickly with a brand new one.

“Help me carry these back?” Hangman asks then, jerking his head in the vague direction of the pool table. You frown when he immediately takes off walking, not actually letting you help him at all, all four beers still slotted between his fingers. You find yourself following him anyway, as if he’d placed some kind of spell over you.

Hangman stops ahead of you at the ancient jukebox, looking back over his shoulder at you, nodding in a pleased manner when he sees you trailing behind. He waits for you, gaze never leaving your form, even as he nods to the space next to him. You awkwardly step up to the spot opposite to him, and look past the glass and at the selection inside. Hangman, once more, takes up a lean, this time against the rickety machine.

“Would you be so kind as to select track number…” he trails off as he checks the list of songs, but quickly flicks his gaze back to you, and smiles bright, tauntingly, again. “Eighty-Six?” he asks, but it's barely a question. You nod, and swallow, shifting from holding your beer with two hands to holding it with just one. You carefully tap the chunky ‘eight’ and ‘six’ keys as he watches. The machine’s little analogue screen confirms that your song is next up, and nervously, you look back up at Hangman, horrified to find he’s just been staring at your face for the past however long.

“S’been a while, Mirage.” He drawls, making you blink rapidly and look away.

“Has it?” Is all you can manage meekly in reply, surprised when he lets out a genuine sounding laugh. He hums warmly, and you practically feel it in your chest.

“And yet,” he lifts hand, two beers held expertly between his fingers, but he extends it to tap your nose, almost making you almost flinch.

“You haven’t changed at all.” Hangman grins Cheshire-like down at you, before his eyes narrow ever so slightly, and he leans in even closer while flicking his eyes up and down your form again.

“I don’t bite you know,” he tells you, his voice sounding serious, but his somberness lasts mere seconds.

“Well, not unless you ask me to first, sweetheart,” he winks and his smile grows large as your eyes grow wide and you splutter, flustered.

Your face grows hot with slight embarrassment, a wave of inner resentment at his teasing washing through you.

Hangman laughs, seemingly bored with you now, and he turns to walk back toward the pool tables. Without even looking, he beckons you to follow with one finger on his still occupied hands. For a moment your pique prevents you from doing so, certain that if you were to dip into the crowd now, he’d not care enough to seek you out again, let alone notice you were missing.

You know he didn’t mean it, you know his flirting is just to get a rise, but you also know that he’d never do it to Phoenix, or Halo, and a little bit of you hates yourself for being such a marked pushover. You make the decision now that you won’t let him do it again, if you can help it.

Your eyes travel past Hangman then, towards the pool tables where you can now see another figure has joined the other gathered aviators, and for the first time all evening, you don’t feel nervous to go join them.

You follow after Hangman, but quickly diverge from his path, cutting around a gathered group of Navy personnel to get there faster. As you approach, you take a moment to shake off any lingering anxiety, before gently laying a hand on the faded Hawaiian shirt in front of you, doing your best to keep yourself from bouncing on your heels.

Rooster half looks ready to wave off whoever is trying to get his attention, but when his shaded eyes land on you, he spins his whole body to face you, grinning widely in unguarded excitement as he gathers you up in his arms.

“Miri!” he exclaims warmly, and you can’t help the laughter that bubbles out of you when he briefly lifts you off the ground.

“I was just about to ask Phoenix if she’d seen you yet.” Rooster informs you. 

“Seen who?” Phoenix steps around him, frowning as she quickly glances you over, though it disappears quickly.

“Yeah, that about tracks…” Rooster mutters mostly to himself.

“Nat, this is Mirage, you know her right?” Rooster introduces the two of you, and while neither of you make to shake hands, you only feel friendly energy radiate off the other woman, even as she openly looks you over now, nodding at Rooster’s words.

“Right, I have heard about you… I guess there's no real mystery behind your callsign… I didn’t even realise you were here… Sorry,” she tells you bluntly, but you appreciate her straightforwardness.

“They said ‘Wallflower’ was too long.” You joke lightly, and the other woman smiles. A moment passes between you, and you get the distinct feeling that Phoenix has become determined to never let you go unnoticed in her presence again.

You aren’t sure just yet if you appreciate that, but you are sure that you’ve just made a friend.

“Mirage?” Another voice joins then and you look to your left, smiling again when you see another familiar face.

“Bob!” you move to embrace him too, not seeing the look shared between Phoenix and Payback who watch you in surprise.

“Huh. Figures.”

---

Neither you or Hangman have moved since Rooster and Mav went down. The rest of Dagger had returned an hour ago, mission complete. There was no reason for either of you to be on standby.

And yet.

When the call came through that Dagger Two had been hit, both you and Hangman had separately requested to be launched, to help, but you’d been denied.

As a rule, you made yourself easy to work with, even if those around you were less compliant, and you’d experienced plenty of that, flying alongside Hangman the past few weeks. Whether it was him leaving you to get shot down in training, or refusing to fly as a team during simulations. And yet, despite his habit of ‘hanging you out to dry’ being the reason behind his callsign, deep down, you’ve never once doubted flying alongside him in the real thing like the others seemed to.

You’re glad for that lack of hesitation now, glad that it only takes a single moment of eye contact from across the tarmac for the two of you to understand one another perfectly. Glad that when you got word that somehow, Rooster was supersonic again, you already know his answer before you even ask.

“Hangman? Hondo’s cleared us for take off with the ground crew, against orders. You with me?” you ask quietly, looking over at your wingman, knowing that when you return you’ll most certainly be court marshalled, but unable to sit and do nothing any longer.

“To hell and back, Mirage,” comes his immediate reply.

You see him move in sync with you, both of your canopy’s lowering at the same time.

You ignore the panicked voices ordering you to stand down, long enough for Hondo and the others to get you on the catapult, and by then it’s too late.

In two seconds you’re propelled from zero to over a hundred and sixty, and in your ears you hear Hangman right behind you.

---

“Do you want to get a coffee with me?” The question makes you jump, your drink almost sloshing everywhere. The sudden voice, as well as the person it belonged to, takes you completely by surprise, but you’re thankful he doesn’t draw attention to your startling.

Up until moments ago, you’d been peacefully watching the ocean toss and turn, burying your feet in the damp sand and thinking about what you were going to do with your upcoming two weeks of post-mission leave.

Most of Dagger were a little further up the shore, a bonfire crackling away, although you weren’t the only one to have splintered off. Mav and Rooster were currently standing in the shallows talking, and you think Halo and Phoenix have moved to sit apart from the others as well. You had managed to sneak away easily enough, content to just sit on your own for a while, though your efforts appear to have been mostly in vain, if the man now plopped in the sand beside you is any indicator.

You blink at each other.

“What?!” you blurt out dumbly, not completely certain you really understood what he’d said. Hangman’s lips press into a thin line, and he looks away from you, linking his hands together around his knees, and staring out at the rolling waves.

“Coffee. Would you like to get one with me?” He repeats, sounding only a smidge impatient, but it still doesn't clear up much for you.

“I… No, I heard you the first time… I… I just don’t understand… why?”

Over the past three weeks you’ve been forced more out of your shell than you ever have before. It was torture. It was wonderful.

Part of you pats yourself on the back for being able to ask him so starightly, but another part of you slaps yourself in the face for questioning him.

Hangman turns to look at you apprehensively.

“Are you asking why coffee or why am I asking you?” He speaks slowly and carefully, his face blank and devoid of any hint he was teasing, though you think he might be anyway.

“Why… Why are you asking me?” You push, shuffling your feet in the sand, drawing his attention for a moment. He looks back at your face and frowns slightly, cocking his head.

“Because I like you? And that is usually what somebody does when they like someone. Ask them.” He answers, and this time you definitely get the impression he’s politely trying not to laugh, but for once, you don’t feel like you’re on the outside of the joke.

Still, you find yourself taken somewhat aback at his confession, admitted so easily and freely, as if it shouldn’t come as a surprise to you, which confuses you.

“Like me? I didn’t even think you wanted me as a squadmate, let alone–” you stop speaking, but only because Hangman cuts his eyes sharply away from you to glare out at the ocean.

“Well, I do.” He says kind of indignantly, all things considered, and eyes you almost sourly. “You can just say no if you don’t–”

“–No, I do!” you quickly cut him off, because at the end of it all, you’re a little too much of a hopeless romantic to let this moment pass you by. Especially when for the past three weeks you haven't been able to get rid of the odd heart skips you got whenever Hangman acknowledged your presence at all.

And besides, you weren’t blind.

Hangman was ridiculously pretty, and not anywhere near as much of an asshole as he wanted people to believe.

He looks at you blankly for a moment, processing your words, before his face breaks out in a smile. It isn’t one of his usual smirks or tauntingly pearly grins, though. It’s softer, sweeter, and you stare mesmerised as he looks away from you again quickly, and down at his linked hands, nodding.

Two days pass, and even when you’re sitting across from him in a small, niche little coffee shop you had no idea existed, you feel like you’re in a dream.

You’ve never seen Hangman out of uniform, you realise, and it’s a whole new experience you’re forced quickly to process when he stands to go get your drinks.

Dark jeans, white shirt, casual jacket. It’s a simple outfit, but goddamn does he make it look good. Nervously you have to wonder if your white and blue sundress, sneakers and bomber jacket were having the same effect on him, though you highly doubt it.

He returns quickly, attentively, placing both your coffees down, before folding himself into his chair once more. You both look at each other awkwardly before you distract yourself by taking a sip of your coffee. Hangman seems to do the same, but instead of drinking, he begins tearing into several little sugar packets, and emptying them into his coffee foam.

You huff out a tiny laugh before you can stop yourself, and his eyes quickly snap to you.

“What?” he asks defensively, but the corners of his mouth twitch.

“I just… I guess I never figured you for a sweet coffee kinda guy…”

“Oh, and why is that?” his twitching lips turn into a full smirk, but it isn’t his usual Hangman smirk. You chew on the inside of your lip, and sip your coffee once more before answering.

“I’m not sure. I guess you just don’t seem like the type of guy who…” you trail off, unsure of what exactly you’re trying to say and even more; how to say it.

“Listen, I may have rippling, glistening abdominals, but I have a sweet tooth,” he says, putting on the defensiveness now, leaning toward you and pointing at himself. You pinch your brows together and purse your lips, nodding vehemently.

“I know how to have fun,” he tells you, tipping a third sugar into his coffee.

“Of that I don’t really doubt, Hangman,” you say, but his gaze snaps back to you again, almost sharply this time.

“Jake.” he corrects you.

You pause.

Of course, you knew his first name, but you’re fairly certain you’ve never once used it. Hangman has just always been, well, Hangman. But you weren’t in a cockpit right now, he’d asked you out, this wasn’t the time and place for callsigns. He wasn’t Hangman, and you weren’t Mirage.

“Jake,” you say slowly, carefully, as if he’ll tell you any moment he’s just kidding around. But he doesn’t.

“Miri,” he replies, slow like you, but softer, and it’s silly, but it sounds so nice coming from him. You shake your head and swallow.

“Jake, if you don’t like coffee, why did you ask me out for one?” you ask him, watching as he blinks slowly at you, before his gaze slowly drops to the latte in front of him.

“If I asked you for a drink, you might’ve got the wrong idea,” he starts, speaking carefully. “If I asked you for dinner, it could be too formal, too awkward–”

“–It’s already awkward,” you point out, making him grimace slightly, so you shrug.

“Coffee just seemed like– I just wanted to–” he cuts himself off and drops both hands to the table.

“Look– I just didn’t want there to be any misunderstanding about what this was. I like you. I know you like coffee.” Jake admits all in a flurry, his voice quiet, and his eyes flickering around as he speaks.

For as long as you’ve known him, you’ve never seen Jake unable to maintain eye contact, actually it seemed to be something he took immense pride in, and it always made you slightly uncomfortable, but right now he appears completely incapable, and it's not a side of Hangman you’ve ever seen before. You realise you might be meeting Jake properly for the first time.

You decide to let him off easy, with all the newfound courage Dagger had been feeding into you the past few weeks, and you change the subject.

“You know, when you came up to me at the Hard Deck that first night, I was kinda surprised you remembered me at all,” you say slowly, sipping your coffee and eying him evenly. Jake frowns then, but it smooths out into a cool grin, and he leans back in his chair, cocking his head.

“Are you kidding? I’m always clocking possible threats.” he tells you, making you cough lightly.

“How am I a threat to you?!” you ask in disbelief.

“Oh, I could name a few,” Jake teases, nodding at you, but flicking his eyes away, almost making a show of clocking an incoming group of customers behind you.

You weren’t clueless, you knew you were a part of Dagger for a reason. You were damn good at your job, but still, Jake was Hangman, not only was he an aviator you respected, he was an aviator with very high personal standards, and for him to see you as comparable to him… well truthfully, you find yourself rather humbled.

And then flustered, at his clear unabashed flirting.

“I always thought you flirting was just you messing with me,” you admit, and he grins wider.

“Can’t it be both?” he asks, leaning forward again, and clasping his hands together. He seems to have no problem maintaining eye contact now, you note. When you cold-stare him, he simply shrugs.

“You’re cute when you get all flustered and nervous, what can I say?”

“Literally anything else.” You grumble back.

You finish your coffee and push the cup to the side, crossing your arms on the table and leaning forward like he was. Jake mimics you, pushing his own coffee away, clearly with no intention to start, let alone finish it. You aren’t as good as him with eye contact though, no matter how much you’d come out of your shell, so you take the opportunity to glance sideways out the window, only for your gaze to catch on something.

Your heart thumps loudly for a moment in your ears, and you wonder briefly if you should act on the thoughts popping around your brain right now, or if you should just stay put.

You lean forward even more, and flick your eyes back to Jake who is staring at you curiously.

“Hey, I have an idea…” you start, chewing on the inside of your lip, before standing up. You only hesitate a little before offering your hand.

“You with me?” you ask without thinking, the words the same as the ones you ask time and again to your wingmen while in flight manoeuvres. Jake stares up at you for a moment, before he too stands, your heart skipping when he takes your hand. With a tiny squeeze you almost don’t notice, Jake grins, and nods.

—

“Oh, hey! Stop! That’s not fair!” You elbow Jake in the side, but it’s already too late. The hand he’d shot out to block your light gun had done its job, and where you’d previously been neck in neck for score on the dual Time Crisis cabinet, Jake’s character was now cheering in victory, while your screen was asking you to insert more coins and try again.

Jake chortles and you both slot your plastic guns back into their plastic holsters at the front of the machine.

“We never agreed to no interference,” he says proudly, and you sock him in the arm only half as hard as you can.

“I didn’t think it needed to be said!” you exclaim pointedly. Jake grins down at you, and collects his tickets.

“Quit complaining, all these are gonna go towards whatever stuffed bear or whatever the hell you want anyway.” He rolls his eyes, and gestures to the shoddy ‘rewards’ counter of the arcade you’d spotted from the coffee shop.

“I want the Minion.” You state firmly after glancing at the redemption counter for three seconds, and spotting the big ugly yellow creature on the top shelf. Jake sighs in a put-upon manner and shakes his head.

“See, this is how you know I really like you. I’m willing to ignore that,” he says, and you actually think he might be serious this time. You grin up at him as he takes your elbow, and begins leading you toward the back of the room.

“What are you going to cheat me out of kicking your ass at this time?” you glance around you, goosebumps trailing up and down your arm as Jake lets his hand slide from around your elbow, down your forearm and into your hand, which he squeezes as if in warning.

“I didn’t cheat, I simply used black ops tactics,” he says, narrowing his eyes at you. You purse your lips at him and narrow your own eyes back.

“Cheat.” you say again, pronouncing each syllable deliberately.

You come to a stop then, and you look up at the old photo booth machine. Jake pulls out a fistfull of tickets, squinting his eyes at the label with instructions, before looking back over at the redemption counter. He seems to run some numbers before he looks back down at you with a grin, and waves the strings of crumpled tickets.

“My cheating means we can use the booth, and still have enough for a Kevin plush, so I don’t wanna hear no more complaining outta you,” he waggles a finger in front of your nose, and you blink up at him sheepishly.

“Jake– I don’t really want the Minion…” you say, before your voice turns suspicious. “Anyway, how do you know which one is Kevin?!” you lift an eyebrow, only for Jake to roll his eyes and push you into the curtained booth.

You orient yourself in the tiny enclosed space, looking around you as Jake takes a moment to feed several lines of win-tickets into the machine before he follows you. He’s forced to duck down real low, making the space even smaller, and you both stare for a moment at the small seat barely big enough for one person, let alone two.

“Well, either you can sit on my lap, or I can sit on yours, darlin’, but I know which one I’d prefer.” Jake intones lowly, and for the first time in an hour or so, you feel yourself get all flustered again. Honestly, you’d kind of forgotten about the explicitly romantic tone of this meeting until now, and more than that, your stomach begins to flip and flop like the first time you’d gotten in a jet when he eases past you and drops himself onto the bench before patting his thighs.

“Jake, maybe if you just move over a litt–”

“No can do, honey,” and he’s not even trying to tease you, he demonstrates the spread of his legs, and the tight fit into the booth, before looking back up at you expectantly again.

“Okay… Okay…” you say more for your own sanity than anything else, and turn, quickly perching yourself on his leg before you can really think too hard about what you're doing.

Your efforts are for naught though, because the moment you’re sat down, Jake’s hands are tugging you against him further, sitting you more comfortably on the thick expanse of his thigh, and you barely repress the noise that nearly escapes you at the feeling of his fingers digging into your hips.

“There we go, sweetheart,” he says softly, almost to himself, and moves his hands to wrap around you completely. If he notices your little noise, which by his self satisfied smirk he definitely has, he thankfully chooses not to say anything. Your face grows warm, not only at the hold he has on you but at the pet name too.

“Did you just call me ‘sweetheart’?” you ask, sounding half bewildered, half incredulous, forgetting for a moment where exactly you were and why. As you look over your shoulder at the man behind you, Jake stares back, his smirk still in place even as his eyes seem to search your face, his own expression mostly unreadable.

“Would you prefer ‘honey’?” he almost purrs, his voice distinctly amused, but you notice that he doesn’t back down, doesn’t apologise or step back.

It makes your stomach twist up in knots. It makes your heartbeat skip like a record.

You turn away from him, shake your head.

“It’s fine,” you tell him bashfully, wanting to grumble slightly when against your back you sense what you think is him puffing his chest a little. Quickly, you add: “Not at work, though…”

Jake chortles, but as you peek over your shoulder to look at him again, he’s relenting, his smirk gone and replaced with a far softer smile as he nods.

“Not at work, though.” he repeats lowly in confirmation, almost making you jump when he shifts one hand to steady you around the waist, his other reaching out to begin fiddling with the controls on the lit up screen in front of you.

“Alright, let's get this show on the road shall we?”

By the time you’re exiting the tiny cubicle, Jake’s hands still attached to your hips as he follows you out, you’re both laughing quietly to yourselves. You’re amazed to find just how much Jake can affect you, either setting you at complete ease or sending you into a tizzy, depending on what he’s said or done. Usually you wouldn’t be surprised by other people’s effects on you, you were jumpy and anxious by nature, but it was rare that somebody who put you on edge as much as Jake did, could also give you such comfort.

When he detaches his hands from your sides at last to survey the sheets of photos spat out by the booth, you marvel at how much you start to miss the contact. With all the subtlety you can muster, you inch closer to him, under the guise of getting a look at the photos as well, though really, you’re only hoping that you might prompt him into reaching out for you again.

Jake chortles and points at a set of two pictures. In one, you’re both grinning madly, pulling silly faces, and in the other, you’re wearing softer smiles, and you notice now, that Jake had pushed his face a little closer to yours. It makes heat rise in your cheeks, not just at the seeming intimacy of the photo, but truthfully, of how much you like seeing the two of you like that.

“You won’t mind if I keep these, will ya?” Jake asks, looking over at you. You simply shake your head, and he grins a little wider, carefully tearing off the two pictures before pulling out his wallet and tucking them inside, for sake keeping, you assume.

Jake lets you keep the rest, and absently, you fold them into the zipper in your purse, too distracted by the fact that he does indeed take your hand again, before quickly releasing it to instead wrap his arm over your shoulder. You can’t stop yourself from smiling a little as you blink dumbly up at him, and he grins down at you, ducking his face even closer to yours.

“Now sweetheart, I believe I was instructed to win you a minion plush.”

---

Jake’s appearance in the women’s locker room should startle you more than it does. As it stands, you barely even bat an eyelash when you spot him all of a sudden in the mirror behind you, like he was enacting some sort of horror movie jumpscare. It doesn’t really have that effect on you though, his presence nowadays is both common enough and exciting enough that he holds your rapt attention whenever he’s around.

In the mirror behind you, he stands at a casual lean against the row of locker doors, making sure to face you, but also making sure he has the opportunity to rifle through your locker, get a good look at the things you kept in there.

“What are you doing?” you ask, sounding less scolding and more genuinely curious, which is a point against you as far as you’re concerned. You turn from the mirror and move back toward your locker, replacing the small toiletries bag you kept with you inside. Jake doesn’t move a muscle, standing exactly in the same position, which meant that now he was practically leaning over you, crowding your space in that way he did sometimes just to make you flustered.

You were long past the point of it really working though, now you revelled in it just as much as he seemed to, eager for any small moment where you had an excuse to be so close to him. Especially at work.

You blink up at him doe-ishly, finding his gaze exactly where you expected it to be, which is trained on your face. His signature smirk grows slightly as he meets your eye, and your stomach explodes in a flurry of butterflies and fireworks at the way he seems to either consciously or subconsciously lean even further in toward you, completely dwarfing you now. It makes you feel small in the best way possible, and you have to actively work to put aside the thoughts of his big hands at your waist, and other such things that make your legs go all wobbly.

“Say, you don’t happen to have any plans for the fourteenth, do you?” Jake ignores your question entirely, but you’re not bothered by it, too caught up now on his own query.

“The fourteenth?” you ask, a little dumbly, racking your mind for something you may have forgotten, which you know is the correct course of action thanks to the amusement currently playing out on his very handsome features.

“Valentine’s Day?” Jake supplies for you eventually, putting you out of one misery and into another.

“You want to do something on Valentine’s Day?” you’re not sure which part of his suggestion you’re not getting, but you do know that something isn’t quite clicking. Jake’s features soften only slightly, and he bends his face even closer to yours, his eyes flickering down to your lips briefly before back to your eyes.

“Mhmm. If my girlfriend is alright with that?” Jake practically purrs the words, and they reverberate down your spine, making you blink rapidly.

You don’t think you’ll ever get over hearing him call you that, although you do note that he definitely shouldn't be doing it at work, considering none of your friends and colleagues know about the two of you yet.

“Y-yes, she is fine with that…” you reply, doing your best not to sound as lovesick as you felt. Jake lifts an eyebrow and turns his body in toward you even more, almost bringing your chests to touch now.

“Just ‘fine’? Sweetheart, I am hoping to get more of a reaction than that,” he again makes a show of trailing his eyes up and down your face, and you feel yourself swallow thickly.

“After all,” Jake continues, lifting an arm now to rest against the locker above your head, actually crowding your space now. “I believe we had a discussion about exactly how Valentine’s Day would play out, around… four weeks ago?” Jake makes a humming noise, as if he himself didn’t remember clearly, despite everything else about his delivery saying otherwise.

Your lips part ever so slightly as you recall the conversation he’s referring to, a heat crackling over your skin when you realise that, despite you not remembering it until now, this had clearly been something Jake was looking forward to.

You definitely were too, now.

“Thank you, Jake… tonight was really great,” you cringe a little at how scripted the words sound, but when you look up at where Jake stands just behind you, waiting for you to slot your key into your door, he’s only gazing down at you in a way that makes you immediately drop them. The sound makes you jump and turn away, but before you can clumsily begin apologising and scooping them up, Jake takes a slight step forward, never breaking your eye contact even as he swipes your fallen keys from your feet.

He’s right in front of you now, still slightly bowed over so that his face hovers right in front of yours as if by accident, though you know it's anything but. You can’t even bring yourself to move, as much as these dates had you a little off-kilter still, you couldn't deny the fact that your feelings for the man in front of you had been increasing exponentially, in a way that was becoming harder and harder to physically hold back from.

You don’t even mean to, but your eyes drop to his lips for several beats, transfixed until you force yourself to look away again. You part your own lips, getting ready to say something, anything, but Jake sees your wandering gaze for what it is, and doesn’t let you ruin the moment.

Instead, Jake surges forward, the hand not holding your keys moving to cup the side of your face, and at the same time, stands to his full height once more, the space previously still left between you now completely nonexistent as you find yourself pushed up against your door.

You’ve had relationships in the past, but you had never, ever, been kissed like this before, all heat and fire and what you can only describe as desire. However, as that thought sets in, you find that oddly, it doesn’t fluster you like you think it should, or would have. In fact, for the first time in a really long time, you don't feel any of your normal anxieties or nerves. Everything is replaced by the knowledge that Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin is currently pressing his body against yours, his hands carefully starting to roam a little and how much you want everything that that strong grip of his promises.

Unfortunately, that's when the one useful anxiety you have left returns to you, and just as always, you can’t bring yourself to ignore it like you so badly wish you could.

It takes only a slight push against Jake’s chest for him to pull away from you, though it's as though he can’t bring himself to go far at all. He stares down at you, lips kiss-swollen and his face so close still that you swear if he blinks, you’ll feel his lashes brush your cheek.

“What’s wrong?” Jake’s voice is incredibly gravely and rough and the sound of it alone is almost enough to push you back in toward him.

“I’m sorry– I just–” the rising panic in your voice makes Jake shift again, though he still doesn’t detach himself from you entirely, he does move his hands to rest on your shoulders.

“We– We work together, and I don’t do this often–ever, actually, and I just don’t want to get into something where we can’t come back from, because I’m actually really starting to like you, a lot, and I know this is a thing normal people totally do all the time– sleep together I mean– but you’re just so– and I’m– and I–”

“Hey, it’s alright, calm down,” Jake’s stern ‘work’ voice startles you a bit, but just like always, he seems to know exactly what it is you need. You blink up at him, realising you’re clinging tightly to his forearms, and he’s looking down at you with so much concern and care you could almost just start crying.

“It’s alright, Miri,” Jake continues after a moment, lifting one hand from your shoulder to cup your cheek again. You stare at him, your brows furrowing into a frown.

“Alright? You’re not– you don’t mind that I don’t want to sleep with you?”

Jake’s lips quirk, and he rolls his eyes a little.

“Miri, the only thing I want more than to take you inside and continue this with far less clothing, is for you to want that too. So, no, I don’t mind.”

You keep staring up at him, unsure of how to proceed now, but once again, Jake swoops in.

“You want to give it time?” he asks, earning a nod from you, but you suddenly feel the need to reassure him of your own affections.

“Just to be clear, this isn’t me not wanting to have sex with you!” you state quickly, earning a somewhat confused frown from the man still cupping your cheek. “I mean, I do, that’s not an issue, my problem is specifically just… rushing into this, when we work together. Our jobs are so high-stress as it is, I just think it would be better to… I’m not sure, ease into it I guess…”

You’re glad you made a point of explaining yourself, because Jake’s face flashes with brief understanding, and his approach seems to switch tact.

“Well…” he clears his throat. “That’s still alright, but it does make it a whole lot harder to resist, I have to tell you,” you know he’s only half serious, but the way he looks at you in the dim lighting of your porch sends your insides twisting and curling.

“So… when do you think it will stop being ‘too soon’?” Jake asks lightly, but you do think it’s an entirely fair question given that you are asking him to wait for you.

“A few weeks? I’m not sure, I just…” you trail off, but watch as Jake appears to do some mental maths, and then his face lights up, his grin pulling his lips in a rather distracting way.

“Valentine's Day?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

Before you can verbally agree, his mood seems to shift, and he’s leaning in a little closer again, lowering his voice. “I’ll take you out, real fancy, suit and tie dress code, you’ll get to wear something slinky and I’ll pretend the way I keep touching you is an accident all night.”

Your breath catches in your throat as Jake crowds in closer to you as he speaks, looking over you as if the things he’s describing were visible to him right now.

“Then, I’ll take you back to mine, maybe I’ll be presumptuous and buy you some lacy little underthings to wear for me, and–” He seems to snap out of the intensity all of a sudden, smirking down at you and cocking his head at your dazed and almost drooling expression.

“Well, the rest is a secret, but for now, let's just pencil all that in, hmn?”

“S-so, what did you have planned?” you bite your lip a little and reach past him to grab a scrunchie from your locker, but before you can slip it onto your wrist, Jake takes it off of your and begins combing your hair back himself. You stand and watch him dumbly as he does, already blanking out when his fingers seem to tighten ever so slightly as he gathers a ponytail at the base of your neck, and tugs.

You almost let out a pitiful little sound at the feeling, but unfortunately you aren’t able to control the fluttering of your eyes the same way. Jake smirks above you as he slips the scrunchie off his wrist and secures your hair into a somewhat regulation bun, all the while still grinning down at you. You want to tell him to screw valentines day and screw you now, but you manage to keep your mouth shut long enough for him to answer your question.

“I’ve already told you too much. Just be ready by seven. Wear something slinky for me, yeah?” he murmurs, letting his hands fall from the back of your head to your waist where he pulls you in.

“Alright,” you confirm, mind already wandering to what on earth you had in your closet right now that would fit the bill of ‘slinky’ and deciding that you were probably going to have to go shopping.

“Don’t worry about the lacy things,” Jake says softly, lips now ghosting over yours as he speaks, though he hasn’t broken your eye contact once yet. “I’ve already got that covered.” He says, making you go blank again.

The thought, no, the mere idea that Jake has bought you lingerie to wear, and that he wanted to see you in it, makes you want to vibrate right out of the room, and possibly several times around the planet, but you manage to resist, and instead just swallow heavily, and nod.

Jake grins wide, no longer smirking cheekily, his smile is nothing but warmth now, and you can’t help but mirror it.

“Great,” he says, giving your waist a squeeze, and you a tiny peck on the lips before he pulls away. “Now, I gotta get outta here before I get court-martialed.”

You snort as he spins on his heel and heads toward the door, but turns back and gives you a lazy salute and wink before he leaves.

When you’re certain that he’s gone, you let out a sigh and fall back against your locker, your heart thumping wildly along in your chest as you mull over your upcoming plans. The thought of shopping enters your mind once again, and you hum to yourself. Reaching for your throne, you shoot off a text to your group chat with Phoenix and Halo, and hope they won’t ask too many questions about your Valentine’s plans.

[mythalism]

Have you ever thought how would a meeting between Mythal and Lavellan go, if inquisitor was the protagonist instead of Rook? (a girl can dream)

I wonder if both of them having history with Solas will be a point of discord between two women, or on the opposite will foster an understanding.

oh boy anon.... have i......

if you had asked me a few years ago id actually tell you that my personal ideal lavellan storyline would have involved her taking on the fragment of mythal. and solas being horrified by it LOL

now, knowing the dynamic between solas and mythal, i dont think i still would have wanted this. it would be horrifyingly tragic. like true classic greek play makes you feel sick kind of tragic. and i do enjoy that but i think it would have actually ruined my life if they went there.

as for what i think it might look like, i think we already have an idea. we did see flemythal and the inquisitor react, and flemythal says she does the people proud. or that they kneel too easily LOL. shes mostly indifferent. morrigythal and the inquisitor also seem fairly close in veilguard, at least far closer than they were when we left them 10 years ago. "speaking from the heart, inquisitor?" was PERSONAL but playful and fond, imo. the way morrigan looks at lavellan when she talks about solas each time also makes me think they've talked about everything. i actually really enjoyed the tidbits of their friendship we saw. bonding over a shared ex boyfriend you will always be famous. even when the ex is shared by uhhhhhhhh ancient goddess fragment hanging out next to your soul.

as for how fragment mythal would have reacted... honestly i dont think she would have treated lavellan that differently from how she treats rook, aka as a mildly interesting bug that has crawled across her carpet that she is contemplating squishing or taking outside in a cup. depending on how it behaves.

we dont know the extent of her ability to "watch" the world but considering she knows about pretty much everything we can assume she is aware of solas and lavellan. and shes even in the same room as them at one point and does not say or do anything. i really dont think she gives a fuck LMAO. i think fragment mythal sees herself as truly god-like and thus she would probably not really clock lavellan as a threat. i also think she does not care about solas enough to be truly jealous. i also think there is a part of her who wants him to be happy because why free him if not? i think all of these things exist inside of her simultaneously and as a result she would prob just be a haughty bitch to lavellan like she is to everyone else. maybe with a few extra zingers thrown in about solas to taunt her and see if she rises to the bait. maybe she'd lay the "test your worth" on a bit thicker because she'd want to see the mettle of the mortal who got the dread wolf's heart.

as for how lavellan would treat mythal that would be sooooo varied based on everyones personal lavellan that i get why we didnt see it in game. mine would be pretty pissed off but she would have a healthy amount of the fear of god in her and probably not be openly antagonistic. but definitely snarky. there is also a place for mythalavellan toxic yuri in my soul but thats a conversation for another time. ultimately i think mythal is putting lavellan in a cup in a rare moment of solidarity and empathy and putting her outside. but not gently. she kind of throws the whole cup out the door y'know and goes "ew. good luck with ur ugly fucking boyfriend" and continues on with her life unbothered. to seek revenge and a horrible reckoning ofc

[archangeldyke-all]

okay hopefully tumblr doesn’t eat this one 😣😣

can we plss get more details about plug!Sevika and reader meeting for the first time at a house party??

& can we pls have a cute moment of reader completing Sevika’s gap until she’s a blushing mess like in this post: https://www.tumblr.com/idyllicbby/747661932204572672/all-im-thinking-about-is-having-a-first-meetdate

yes absolutely!

here's a link to the post mentioned!

men and minors dni

you hate house parties.

especially this one.

the mysterious red liquid coming out of the coolers on the counters are so watered down it's like chugging warm juice, the music is awful, and your friends have all paired off with their partners-- dancing and making out in coupled bliss. you're miserable.

"fuck this." you grunt, pushing yourself off the wall and through the crowds of grinding bodies. you're going to find yourself a decent fucking drink-- not whatever this shit is.

the kitchen is sparsely populated and empty bottles litter the counters.

you start scouring the cabinets and fridge for liquor, and just when you're about to give up, your eyes catch on an unattended, half empty bottle of vodka behind a kissing couple.

you consider the predicament. the guy's got the girl sitting on the counter, pressed between her legs, his hands on her ass and the bottle bumping into the back of his hand. you'd have to get right up on them to reach your prize.

you really don't want to lose a limb to the couple.

you also really want a stronger drink.

you huff, stomp over to the other side of the kitchen, groan, then cringe as you flail your arm behind the couple to grab the bottle.

you get away easily, giggling as you clutch the bottle to your chest and start backing away from the pair. they dont seem to have noticed you, and just when you're sure you've gotten away with your thievery and you start pouring the vodka in your cup, your eyes catch on an amused, sparkling pair of silver irises.

you stiffen, your cup starts overflowing with vodka as you stand frozen, blinking at the woman across the room who seems to have been watching you this whole time.

she grins and raises an eyebrow at you.

you gulp, then smile bashfully, gesturing the bottle out toward her, offering her some. she bursts into laughter.

you find yourself by her side in a moments notice.

"can i top your drink off for you, miss?" you ask, giggling. the woman snorts.

"yes please." she thrusts her red solo cup between the two of you, and you pour a few shots worth of vodka into the juice. "'re these non-alcoholic for a reason or...?" she asks. you laugh.

"right!? how're you gonna throw a party and not even have drinks!" you giggle. she holds her cup out and you clink your plastic rim against hers before taking a sip.

it burns going down, this time.

"ah, much better." she sighs, leaning against the wall. "so, how do you know the shitty hosts?" she asks. you laugh, then shrug.

"i dunno 'em. my friend knows a guy who invited her-- she asked me to tag along." you say. "you?"

"'m just the plug." she says. you grin.

"oh, are you?" you ask. she huffs a laugh, then gestures to the fanny pack on her hip.

"can i interest you in a purchase?" she asks, unzipping the pack. you gasp.

ten minutes later, you and sevika have ditched the loud house party to sit on the back porch and share a joint as you sip on your drinks.

you've got the giggles. sevika's weed is strong, and the drink you poured yourself is strong, and sevika's pretty and she's only looking at you.

"what're you smiling at?" she asks, her own smile pulling up at her lips. you just shrug and pass her back the joint.

"you lookin' for new regular customers?" you ask. sevika chuckles, grins and nods, then takes a hit.

"i certianly am. you lookin' for a new plug?" she asks, exhaling. you don't really hear her question, though, because as she laughs and talks, your eyes catch on the gap in her front teeth. your stomach bursts into butterflies.

"you're so pretty." you whisper. sevika blinks at you. "y'r smile's so..." you trail off. sevika grins.

"really?" she chuckles. you nod, biting your own lip, wondering what it'd feel like if sevika sunk her sharp canines in your bottom lip. "you're high."

"you've got good shit. and a pretty smile." you say, nodding.

this time sevika's smile is more bashful. "what's your number?" she asks. you grin and pass her your phone, and she passes you the joint in exchange.

when she returns the phone, her contact name is '🍃 sevika 🫀'

you have to bite your lip to keep from squealing.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary

[tsukasalvr]

hihi I'm starting to hyperfix on tbhk again and the lack of tbhk writers on here is criminally low :,)

sooo could you do teru minamoto x supernatural!reader but the reader is a type of supernatural that's like a vampire but not really like she needs blood and flesh to survive but she can like be in light. maybe she blends into the school to try to regain any type of humanity and teru notices and thinks shes gonna harm a student but when he confronts her she confesses that she just wants to fit in. So teru kinda just drags her around to make sure she doesn't go bonkers and it turns out she actually is nice and not malicious but still seems extremely weak from the lack of blood to maybe teru offers his arm to drink from and he realizes that not all supernaturals are bad

I'm tried while writing this so sorry if the plot seems to complicated or something

also I dont mind if its headcanons or a one shot whichever fits you're schedule <333

AN: FRRRR like the tbhk writers rn are doing amazingggg!!!!!! But there’s literally so few of them and idk if I would consider myself an active tbhk writer cus I’m so inconsistent with my works LMAO but I do have a lot of tbhk works so I guess I’m pretty good

supernatural!vampire!reader

Anime/fandom: Tbhk

Character: Teru Minamoto

Warnings: I don’t proofread

A/n: I love girls and I love girls girls bless all the girls

Tbhk masterlist | Main masterlist

Teru Minamoto

It’s one thing that you’re a supernatural, but it’s another that you’re also a vampire which makes you an even more danger to other students

He watched you sneakily, hoping to catch you alone, but you’re always hanging around other people smiling and laughing that it makes him curious on what’s your motive. Are you getting close to these people so you can feed on them later? But he hesitates on that thought with how real your smile looks, as if you really do enjoy hanging around others and don’t want to feed on them

It’s hard to catch to you alone and is only able to find you alone when it’s the end of the school day, you looked at him worried and explain your situation on how you don’t want to feed on others and just want to be a normal student and how if he wanted, he can watch until he believes her

Teru doesn’t know why he decides to believe and trust you, he’s never hesitated like this. So the next day he never strays far away from you and it isn’t till a week later where he finally believes you but still wants to watch you just for the safety of others, which you agree with

Teru can’t help but want to smile whenever he sees you and even though he knows it’s wrong, it doesn’t take long until the both of you become a couple and he sees how tired you actually are and how you try to hide it but it only seems to get worse every day

He gets worried and without thinking offers his arm and neck for you bite on so you drink some of his blood. But even after he realizes what he said, he doesn’t go back on what he says and reassures you it’s okay and although your hesitant, you agree and at least once a week, Teru lets you feed on him a little and will ask if raw meat will work the same if he isn’t available

Although Teru thinks it feels weird and can’t help but blush whenever you bite him, it’s all worth it to see you better

[h2bakugou]

hello hello, old friends, fans and readers!

god its been AGES. hi im alive ish-we’ll touch on that in a minute, but hi!

i miss writing so much, so much has happened, and i wish i could say im coming back, but i truly dont see a future for this blog, as much as it means the world to me, it wouldnt feel right coming back when i havent watched mha in years.

for starters, i wanna say thank you for the continued love and appreciation of my works, i know they’re not the best, but they’re what i considered some of my best work, for the time being lol. im 21 now, and its crazy to think about how long ago it really feels to look back at this stuff. i still love writing, i still love to read, i havent written anything worth posting in my opinion but if i do, this blog will be the first to know about it!

onto the health side of things, tw for cancer

i was diagnosed with stage 4 hodgkin’s lymphoma around the end of 2023, and have been undergoing chemotherapy for the past few months. my last scheduled treatment is the beginning of april but things are looking good. im hoping to make a decent recovery or at least have hair by the end of this year. i truly truly want to write again when im done with chemo. i keep telling myself i need to write again, work has kicked back into full gear after taking three months off, which i thought would’ve been the perfect time to stage some sort of writing come back, but life has been so utterly utterly busy. i hate that even with every fibre of my being, most of my ideas trickle down and out of my brain before i can even write them down on a piece of paper or a sticky note.

i miss the connection that writing brought me with like-minded readers and artists, and enjoyers. i miss the bliss of publishing something that felt ready to be published. i miss it all, and im so so so looking forward to that breath of fresh air again when i can calm down and write something that truly feels worth reading. and again, i want all of you to be the first to know about it.

i sound a little silly im sure, i havent posted in ages, and i know this account lays dormant for the most part but i still think about it all the time. this account is truly something special and i hope it is for someone else out there too.

no matter what you face, or what you’re going through, you’re not alone. you are loved. take care of yourselves!!

i shall be plotting a return of some kind, for now one battle at a time, oh yeah and fuck cancer.

[iravinirattu]

ik im late but im playing through kaveh's hangout event and. the haikaveh brainrot is real

since these losers can't do it themselves i am here to offer my translation services ‼️

al haitham you liar. we are in a library using our indoor voices you did NOT hear us.

and even if you did mr. "i hate small talk" why'd u walk over hmm?? hmm??

"dont mind if i ignore you, i've got my earphones in" <- applies to everyone except kaveh

"okay now that i've gotten him distracted tell me what's wrong so i can discreetly fix it"

mans literally sent kaveh away to boost his confidence a bit + find out if he was okay.

"you annoted those books with such long and beautiful notes that eveyone hated lolol anyways check out those shelfs where there's a book with someone appreciating ur notes"

i can't get over how many exceptions al haitham makes for kaveh. he's not heartless and cruel in the way i often see him portrayed... but at the same time his entire demeanor is "i respect you as a person but won't go out of my way to do things for you unless it benefits me"

like he's one of the only characters who isn't super super close with the traveler, at least that's how i see it in the voicelines! he respects them as a friend, would consider doing things for them if they asked, but that's about it really!

but KAVEH. for someone who enjoys a peaceful life and has such a rational and efficient way of working it theoretically makes no sense for him to do all the things he does for kaveh.

like sure "maybe the cheering up kaveh is just to avoid having to deal with him drunk later", but that's too roundabout of a demeanor to be al haitham's style. plus, if he really didn't want to deal with a drunk kaveh, he could just kick him out.

but he doesn't because he cares, and kaveh does not understand that because he has created a vision of what he thinks al haitham is in his head, and in that vision he, kaveh, has no value so why would haitham have him around?? clearly he's got ulterior motives.

and they won't move further until kaveh lets go of that vision, and he can only do that if he truly realises his own worth, and until then haitham's gonna have to keep pushing him towards that from the shadows.

"he overworks himself, it's not healthy. he forgets the practicality of his ideals when he starts something, thinking he can pull through it, but reality hits him halfway. he can keep his ideals, that's fine, but i wish he was a bit more realistic about them."

"and despite all of the above, despite wanting to uphold his artistic integrity, he still puts everyone's needs before his own."

"his approach is too contradictory, and hence people don't see his talent. there are those who's resolve is so brash they are seen as confident and unshakable; and yet he who is more talented than them all falls behind because he's so easy to take advantage of."

al haitham taught me two new words today lol

irascible - someone with a quick temper

paragon - something viewed as a standard

"if he wants things to change he needs to find a balance between compromise and resolve. there is no way to please everyone, but instead of accepting this, he thinks he can nullify it if he takes all the burden instead."

kaveh's altruism stems from his own self-hatred, moreso than his desire to help others. and while doing a good deed puts a smile on his face, the melancholy guilt that trips him when he doesn't is far greater.

"if they are his ideals then i have no right to say anything about them. but he hurts himself so much as a result of that and i wish he would love himself a bit more."

al haitham has a great deal of respect for kaveh, not just as a scholar but as a person. and it's hard watching someone like that dig their own grave, and there's nothing you can do but wait in the sidelines, because they won't believe anything you say.

al haitham is constantly bickering with kaveh to get him to feel a little, challenge his ideals, find a way to make them work without sacrificing himself in return.

"at this poing talking to him is no use, he's convinced himself that his life only has purpose if it's in the hands of others. all people face hardships in life, but he seems to believe he deserves all he gets and more"

and then after kaveh is back he gives him space to talk about things that make him happy, and more importantly, appreciate himself.

how to tell kaveh i want to listen to his silly lil rants without sounding like a sap - al haitham's brain, probably

al haitham knowing all of kaveh's little buttons, and pressing the right ones after determining his mood, so he can show kaveh he loves him but still sound like a bitch.

"you did so well. i am so proud, and i hope you are proud of yourself too."

and sometimes he does click the wrong one, but then immediately goes back on it, becomes soft(er than usual), offers reassurance, changes the topic, and so on

we saw this in the parade of providence event, when kaveh got legitimately upset at one of haitham's remarks and he immediately went into I HAVE UPSET MY BF recovery mode.

and what i love the most in all this is KAVEH'S DUMBASS IS SO OBLIVIOUS TO THIS LMAOOO

but also it's sad because the reason he's oblivious is because he doesn't think he's worth being cared for like that.

haikaveh's whole vibe is "i love you, but i'd much rather you love yourself first" and "i'm your one and only, your only exception, the one you'd break all your rules for" and i love it.

[regular-gnome]

Through many AUs I've been through, yours are the one I like the most, because it's a more realistic one.

I can see that the "cruelty" of other Collectors are not like that they are evil.

For a being that is older than universe, they are like the Gardeners of Stars, as a gardener you have to cut it out what is dead, you have to treat the soil, prepare it for a new tree, now with planets it's kind the same, they visit, they watch, and so they decide if some species is worth to keep and if they are not worth for keeping.

And so, this process of leaving a juvenile collector in a planet till the dominant species dies is kinda a hardening process, in order for them to grow mature and to not let feelings intervene in the decision process, like being a doctor, you must put aside the fear of hurting the patient in order to heal the patient.

But in TOH things got different, they found a species that represented danger to themselves, so they used another species to kill the titans and the little collector paid the piper.

Im very glad you enjoy the AU:D

The concept is rooted in the idea that generally, people or characters don't choose evil simply for the sake of being evil. But nobody is omnicent, they react to whats happening, trying to figure out what might be "best" as they go without really a way to know for sure if its a right call. Having power to destroy a planet with swipe of finger rises the stakes for literally everyone. When the Collector was releashed during King's Tide the game changed. If Belos had managed to control them - nobody would have been able to challenge him. Even Odalia tried to suggest totally reshaping the isles. Seeing anyone as mostly/ only dangerous power sources creates power imbalance, something that can evolve into very shaky and actually dangerous relation when the other side realises they were never really considered a equal person and having the ability to revange. There is a lot of implications and possibilities when someone possesses such power with no oversight and unlimited time but also is a person that doesnt want to be alone:D

If involvement with mortals ends in some kind of complications the collectors will be around to see the consequences, even if they don't directly experience them so sort of desensitization toward the very life they are trying to preserve is bound to happen. "They live for so short and can cause so much change in their own system, its best to control the situation" type of mindset. Also thinking of ecosystem like gardens that need work on makes it easier to deal with, especially since with the scale of galaxy they cant just spend unlimited amout of time in one place full of creatures that do not want to be preserved. Their actions come from a place of care but there is inherent cruelty in their concern

Sooo yeah, its the perspective that might develop in that kind of situation and might end up with leaving one of their own alone for eons. But who knows, this AU is a lot of theories in a trenchcoat and i dont want to defend their actions. Killing all titans? yeah thats bad. It's more about theorizing why anyone would consider that a reasonable option while also not being evil just cuz

[directivexero]

don't give up on fighting games, fighting games won't give up on you

I wanted to make a follow up post to my big spiel from the other night, because tonight really put things into perspective for me. strap in everyone, this is a long one

I played in the PRIDEFGC Strive bracket today, and I got absolutely rinsed. but it didn't feel bad, I lost and it didn't feel bad for the first time in a *looooong* time. In fact, I felt incredible about how i played today. round 2 in losers was against another Sol, and i lost because they were very patient and taking advantage of space and whiff punishing me for everything. but also, my pressure on offense was really good and I managed to take a round off of them! and round 1 was special, and something so important to me and to fighting games as a whole

my round 1 was a bit of a mess, online brackets are never perfect. start.gg in particular is a real stickler for checking in on time and DQ'ing people bc they didnt get an email or a discord notification immediately. it happens, and it gets worse the bigger the bracket, and it was a massive bracket. something like 2 40ish player pools? that's huge for an online *charity* event, its bigger than some locals.

I was really upset about this at first. i was feeling myself today. taking yesterday off to just vibe, eat a decent bento box from my local japanese restaurant and play a bunch of DBD was a really good break for me. and i woke up this morning, nearly forgetting that i had signed up. i was signed up for a bracket last night, my online local Dust Up, but i had been timed out from the server for being a real shithead to myself and generally being unhappy with fighting games, because i had mentally tied my self worth to them without realizing it. but today was different.

I got some work done, got my stream schedule up for the week, played some more DBD (with friends this time) and just enjoyed a nice day. and then I got the email for the bracket and was like "oh shit right, i should probably show up for that". so i booted up Strive and hopped into training mode to warm up. and you know what? that combo that i had been struggling with? the one that took me almost 200 times to get right just the once? i got it on my first try, with the Clean Hit Tyrant Rave even! and while i couldnt replicate the clean hit again, i got the combo 20 more times in a row without a single drop

and this was a real shock to me. i didnt play at all yesterday, and i felt like i wasnt getting anywhere with the game. i was considering even swapping characters again to see if there was something that i was missing, to see if there was some fun i could have somewhere else. but in the end, i dont think i need it anymore. what I really needed, and what everyone was telling me and what i refused to hear, was that i just needed to give myself some room to breathe. taking a *single* day off made me more consistent with this combo, it just gave it time to rest and settle into my brain and hands. it's all i needed, and it was right in front of me the entire time. i just couldnt get it through my head

after this revelation, and was FUCKING *STOKED* to get into bracket. I saw who my first opponent was, Hazel. i recognized the name, they had taken second in the Granblue bracket last night. they were so exciting to watch, i was rooting for them the whole time! how could i not? they were playing my wife Narmaya, i wanted them to win so badly. and after an INCREDIBLE grand finals, they ended up in second. i was a little sad to see them not make it all the way, but I was so thrilled to see such good gameplay last night, and I knew I was gonna get some good games from them today

so we got the whole bracket situated, i messaged her on discord to make sure we were still able to play, got it sorted with a TO and met up in the park. they pulled up with a level 800 Bedman? and i was so excited. it was, a strange feeling, being in bracket, seeing a player i knew was a monster pull up with a character 700 levels above mine, and to be *this* ecstatic to be squaring up. and I have no idea how to play against the bed. nobody plays this guy. and i went in expecting to get rinsed. which i did! but it wasn't actually all that bad on the surface. I managed to block the overhead jump-in for the first time *ever* tonight, and I did it 5 more times over the course of the set. i still got blown up for not blocking the slow overhead and bedman's lows are deceptively far-reaching, and i just wasn't sure how to adapt to those. but that's okay! i did some very good things today, and my pressure was clean enough to take a round off of this very high level player. im so proud of what ive done, and im happy that ive finally escaped the fog that was clouding my mind for so long

and after bracket, i got up, refilled my drink, and hopped into the tower. i was *hungry* for more games. and I got smoked by a Slayer. just absolutely rinsed. but! i caught on to their tricks pretty early, and started to 6S more often than i ever had, and got a lot of counterhits! slowly getting a feel for that matchup, even reading how they follow up after Dandy step and punishing it accordingly. i also got a ping in BAN from RKP, one of the TOs there, looking for games. i responded almost immediately, i wanted to scrap more. they asked for a ft5 at first, but wanted to know if i wanted a ft10. i declined, because i could tell that i was reaching my limit. another step towards progress!

he met me in the park, asking to take player 2 bc he wanted to work on player 2 side inputs. we both pulled up looking to work on stuff, as i wanted to try to implement some of the whiff punishing i was just subjected to by that Sol player. and I got rinsed *again*. but! I landed my corner combo!!! (almost, dropped the HVV at the end, but its still progress) and I also did the correct follow-up after the counter-hit meaty Fafnir setup for the first time! i was so happy, RKP is so fucking good at this game and an incredibly nice person as well. grappler players play like sickos, but they're so sweet in reality.

and this is what its all about. i love fighting games so much. no other community, no other hobby, no other sport will you get camaraderie like this. you won't get this anywhere else. the passion, the love, the friendships. you won't get it anywhere else. everyone's gonna have their bad days, their bad weeks, sometimes even their bad months. but if you just take a breath, take a few steps back, make sure you've taken care of yourself, it will all be okay.

don't give up on fighting games, because no matter what, they won't give up on you

[single-malt-scotch]

Bdubs' speech patterns & quirks

i made a post a while back about Bdubs' typing habits and ya know what. ill be a little stupid obsessed and unhinged again and do this one. might be useful for fics.

been watching this man from day one and im trying to throw together everything i can in my head. he really hasnt changed that much if we arent considering a shift of humor and energy-- but i will regard it at certain points for clarity of how his speech is handled.

General speech pattern

Through time Bdubs has gained more energy in his voice, and more confidence in how he speaks as a person presenting in his videos. But he still has his quirks, quirks that have remained forever.

biggest one. There is a big habit of stuttering in some sense. Either on the same words with the intended phrase:

Example: "You-- you don't- you don't understand!"

or a phrase that is altered during the stutter:

Example: "Yeah but-- you-- I don't think you get it..."

They aren't the stutters people default to in most cases (no "y-yes" "i th-thought.." etc-- in *some* cases you can throw this in but i suggest the bigger ones and never make it too frequent).

Theyre long and very obviously, and make him take longer to get his words out. sometimes it cuts his train of thought and he stops his sentences, maybe even starts over entirely.

in addition to that, bdubs also cuts words in a way i think most people will- goin', gonna, thinkin' etc. however at times he will enunciate the whole word for effect (plays into his "exaggeration" described below)

With his awkward pacing and stumbling, there are times where he fumbles and might say something in a "weird" way. sometimes, it becomes purposeful! he'll keep doing it when its funny, but you can tell its more of a slip than on purpose at first. there are far too many examples of this, but its obvious that he picked up the funny way of saying 'hermitcraft' on purpose at a certain point, for example. this may be hard to get across in writing however and its not as important.

bdubs loves to exaggerate. personality wise, hes like this obviously. and it plays into how he talks. boisterous is the best word. dont be afraid to go hard on the exclamation points or question marks! "!!" and "??" may describe what you want when you need to imply more of his noise.

Exclamations, regarding swearing

Bdubs doesnt swear anymore, but its worth addressing it, in context to what... replaces it, in a sense. or if youre writing something based in the years when he did swear.

Lets get one thing straight. bdubs does not say fuck. like, even back when he swore. there may have been some very light instances of words slipping (the old video where he completely bleeped out his words may have likely had that) but it is not how he spoke on the regular.

bdubs' most used 'bad' words were "damn", not as often "ass". he used a lot of 'safe' words-- shoot, crap (crapper, directed at someone/thing), frick (fricker, directed at someone/thing), dang ('dang man'), freaking (this is exclaimed very strong when it comes up, as if he was saying "fucking". comment phrase "very freaking funny!")....

these are the most frequent choices. id say bdubs has the capability of more swears, but it would be a last resort/under extreme duress.

Other notable phrases

Some of these fall under 'exclamations' at times, but i wanted to address the phrases he says in response to things, one subject is what people like him say in place of things like "oh god". you can see this in some hermits too, but bdubs does not say "oh (my) god". there is no exclamation of "god" when he needs to say something like this.

some are more or less frequent in the overall timeline, but you will likely hear...

"judas priest!" "oh goodness!" "oh jeez/jeezer!" if there is any phrase regarding god its a sorta "dont use the lord's name in vain" situation. none of the "oh god" stuff.

in terms of other frequent phrases,

"Trying my heart out/off" pops up a lot, and it means that he is trying hard at something whilst also saying he is 'putting his whole heart into it'.

Older/less frequent these days:

the good ol 'pet names'. it is/was never a super frequent thing (that bdubs/etho ooge video was surprisingly frequent...) "sweetheart" is most likely, "baby" but not always in a 'pet name' way, just a casual word to throw out at nothing. might get a "darlin'" in there too. the instance of calling someone specific those things is not super common, but still important to note.

a final notable one is "boy", directed at others in a more like. jokingly stern way. "What are you doin' boy?" a direct aim at a person, perhaps in a (joking) accusatory way at times? (wanted to comment there was an early ooge instance where etho picked it up as well lol). and imo i saw this way more in the early days, less so now.

Conclusion

bdubs has a variety of expressions in his speech. generally very relaxed and sometimes even careless, hes not tryin to focus too hard on every word he speaks. which is only natural! imo i think his personality is what affects this more than anything. hes silly, extroverted, and acts first.

his 'loudness' and stutter is important and it can be hard to express through words. outside of the way you describe the way he tackled talking in fics, seriously dont be afraid to double those punctuation marks imo. definitely dont be afraid of those big 'stutters'!! its probably the most defining part of his voice imo. i hope this is useful and feel free to add on or ask about it!

[daydrinking75]

fuck off i just wana get high of prescription medication so my back stops hurting and not participate in society. cant i just DO things? without the weight of having a future and fighting for to keep it. its not that im being forced to, but its my only option. i dont think its worth dying yet, theres nothing to die over really; the cumulative experience of 20 years really is nothing in the grand scheme of things. i have an idea of who i could be, and id like to see that person and be that person, but i can only do so if i keep living. and living means work. it takes a lot of work to live. and that makes me just wana kill myself because why is life--something thats upheld on this stupid pedestal and considered "good"--so damn painful? to me anyway. thats the unfortunate thing, i can only experience the universe through myself. these things are only painful to me, in the sense that without myself present, there wouldn't ve anyone in pain. and the world wold continue to exist. "painful" really just means inconvenient. then again, maybe i just havent felt real pain. im a white girl complaining on the internet with fancy words--i know how it sounds. and even then, pain beyond my understanding is just an extreme inconvenience beyond my understanding. it doesnt devalue it though, what was gained and lost from the pain doesnt go away just because it's a pest. thats the opposite of what they do. some people have wasp nests in their brain. some people clean them out, some let them fester--some people have butterflies (how wonderful that must be), ants, spiders--things of an infestive nature. they accumulate over time, its up to you how to handle it. its a responsibility, to live. to ensure to properly treat the environment of infectents. and ive always struggled to care. to give a fuck. i just dont. for whatever reason, on principle, i couldnt be bothered with responsibility. but i am by the suffering it brings. and the eventual suffocation--forget falling figs, i feel like im watching termites devour my future because of my conscious neglect. i cant stand it. and im sure this is a common occurrence. but i dont have a "will to live" i have a will to become, and the only way to do that is to stay alive long enough for me to understand and grow myself into someone worth dying next to. because im unable to become something when i die, thats all i am, dead. and all the blood and tears and trauma that comes with that concept. but in my experience life is full of that anyway, and the only thing that sets apart the "big sleep" is the act of ending life. it just stops. its a given that im agnostic--i wish i believed in a god that loved me, people often seem happier when they have divine love, even if it hurts others--and for me heaven isnt a place i'll find after i die. hell might be, but that doesnt change the fact that the afterlife remains provably defined as a variable. an entity of limitless possibilities, including nothing at all. the only thing thats known for sure is that its not this, its not life. otherwise it wouldn't end so abruptly. so life and death are antithetical and interchangeable; just two different states of existence. its not by any fault of its own that death is so painful; its a function, a process, it will execute its purpose regardless of if it hurts someone or not. unfortunately all things living, including people, are those who deal with the hurt. no one finds the things that hurt them appealing. well, thats a lie. if you know you know. lets say its at the very least impractical; if you want to live, why would you be attracted towards death? what a wonderful question. its a shame i dont have the answer. i have speculations, educated guesses, impulsive thoughts, but its about time i circle back to the point im trying, flimsily, to make; its impossible to live without thinking. without engaging in life. in society. in people. its those things that give us substance; reality is precious because its uncontrollable, daydreams wont ever compare. so maybe the unknown isnt so scary. its different.

[cocogrrrl]

so ive been kinda down in the dumps and that one angsty thing you wrote for stan about the reader questioning their relationship with stan really got me 😭😭

was wondering if ya could write stan with a reader with depression and shi (personally for me i take prozac and attend therapy sessions ykyk) like that if ya can. probably would be really angsty (or bittersweet?) since stans got his own problems he has yet to deal with💀

selfish

you love stan and he loves you. there's an uncomfortable thought telling you that you're pulling him down, though.

stan marsh x gn!reader cw: bittersweet (?), yn relies on stan as emtional support, also yn is unhealthily in love with their bf wc: 689

an: hiii! i feel like this is a little all over the place and i really dont know if this fits the bill, but ya huhu i hope u like it!

The night is cold, as it often was in the small town. Tonight, however, its harsh temperatures really bit. Luckily, your boyfriend also doubled as a human blanket. It’s a good thing he’s almost always awfully warm. His regular body temperature alarmed you, thinking that he had a fever. He, however, always felt alright.

You two had been spending your time watching some shitty movie neither of you have heard before for the shits and giggles. It was a common occurrence for you two. At this point, you would consider yourselves bad movie connoisseurs. If it doesn’t look like it was made with a budget of two dollars, it’s not worth watching.

His arms were lazily wrapped around you, and you felt your body melting into his. His breath was warm on your neck. Your legs were intertwined, no, entangled with his. You savored quiet moments like this. Everything didn’t exist for you at this moment. Only Stan did.

You felt something bore itself in your brain, though, as your gaze was focused on Stan. You tried to push whatever thought it was away, but you couldn’t.

Were you selfish for wanting Stan to love you while you didn’t even know how to love yourself? It feels like you were taking him for granted sometimes, honestly.

You felt lucky and grateful that you had him, yes, but you wondered why did he even choose you. There are moments where you question if he even loves you. The answer must be a yes, right? If it wasn’t, then what even is the point of being with someone who’s more trouble than anything?

Why do you have to question these types of things anyways? You must be a horrible person. How bad of a person do you have to doubt someone as wonderful as Stan? Stan often made it a point to show you that he loves you, even when it was difficult for him to do so.

You aren’t quite sure how this whole love thing works. Hell, you didn’t even know how your feelings worked. How are you supposed to navigate something that may be even bigger than you?

You find it inspiring how kind and determined he still is. After all the things he’s gone through, he still holds a heart of gold. Sure, it’s somewhat tainted, but who’s to say that it isn’t beautiful? He is sparkling, gleaming. You seemed to pale in comparison.

“Stan?” You called, burying yourself in the crook of his neck.

“Yesss?” He smiled, pulling your face to look at his. You two had some to drink earlier, and it was obvious that the alcohol was starting to kick in. He had the dopiest grin on his face.

Would he ever get tired of you? Sure, he would. Eventually. You’re a tiring person. He’ll learn to grow out of you one day. That’s why you learned how to savor moments like these when everything seems to be alright.

“I think I’m still trying to figure things out,” you admitted. This all felt a little easier since he was drunk. The chance of him forgetting this eased the worry in your mind.

The meaning of your words was purposely left ambiguous. He could fill it in with whatever meaning he wanted though. Besides, did it matter deeply to him? He is drunk. It’s not like this will matter in the morning.

Deep down, you feel bad for Stan. He’s already going through a lot, and you already have an idea of how everything’s going to end. Despite that, you continue lying to yourself that things will go great. Stan’s just here, seemingly unaware of the wreck that is in your mind. 

“Mhm?” He hummed, drawing out his ‘M’s.

As he started to cover your face in kisses, you continued. “But I do know one thing.”

Though he may know that you’ve been thinking of these things, it won’t be confirmed to him. For now, one source of your guilt shall remain a secret.

“That is?”

‘I think you are my dream.’ No, that’s too weird. You might just freak him out.

“You’re so amazing.”

[sweetchaosbabe]

I hope this isnt trauma dumping or sm but i just needed to get this out and also get some advice and i think i really like ur advice. So i have been jn a relationship w my bf for 2 years now and i love him with my heart and soul and we plan to get married ( ee are still young but we see that as the futuregoal) so up tntil a few months back i used to just go to random s*x chat groups and something and would share my nudes nd just stuff like that and would also watch p*rn .. these are both things that me and my bf would a 100% consider cheating and if he did this to me i would kill myself out of sorrow. I absolutely hate myself and am disgusted at myself i was distracted for a little while with my exams but now they are over and now im crying all the time again just thinking about what i did to the boy i love the most. At the time i didnt think much of it and at first i would just talk w people but slowly i started sharing nudes and i did this a couple of times until i realized a few months back how wrong it is. I have no idea how i didnt realise how wrong this is?Up until this i was a really good person i dont think ive ever hurt anybody and i am very nice also but now idk i just hate myself and everything about me .Every day whenever i think aboyt this i cant help but cry and think there really isnt anything else i can do. Of course i have changed and wouldnt think of doing such a thing again but still the fact that i did it in the first place makes me want to die.

Ik its so selfish but i cant keeo thinking that he will do sm like this to me also and that ill get my karma. Does karma really even exist and how do i get myself to atop thinking this now i always suspect him of cheating and talking to other girls. Hes done sm similar to cheating to me but nothing on this level. What he did is nothing ckmpared to what i did.

And in the context of manifesting, should i manifest that none of this ever happened and for me to be a really nice person or shoukd i manifest that this completely gets erased from my memory or what?? This also messes up my manifestion so much i cant helo hut tell myself that i dont deserve good things as im a bad person . Please help. If youre not comfortable answering this then im sorry for wasting ur time

Hey babe, I’m really sorry you're feeling this way. First, let me say this: you are not a bad person. We all make mistakes, and what you did doesn’t define your worth. What’s important is that you recognize the situation and want to grow from it—that shows you have a lot of self-awareness and care.

As for manifesting, this is a beautiful opportunity to shift your mindset. Here’s what I’d suggest:

Forgive Yourself: Manifesting starts with how you see yourself. If you keep telling yourself you’re bad or don’t deserve good things, you’ll stay in that cycle of lack. Start affirming that you deserve love, you are forgiven, and you are enough. We all do things we’re not proud of, but holding onto guilt keeps you stuck.

Focus on the Present: Instead of manifesting that it “never happened,” focus on who you are now. Say things like, “I am always loyal and honest,” “I am growing every day,” and “I create beautiful relationships.” Don’t manifest from guilt or fear—manifest from a place of love for yourself.

Karma and Fear: Karma doesn’t mean you’re doomed to be punished. It’s more about energy. If you keep focusing on fear or punishment, that’s the energy you’ll bring into your life. Instead, shift to trust and positivity. Affirm, “I trust my partner fully,” and “My relationship is healthy and secure.”

Lastly, please take care of your mental health, too. Talking to someone you trust or seeking professional support can really help.

You deserve to feel good and live fully. Sending love your way