#i think it could be a yes or a no bc above all it was
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i wanted to say your post about lu guang's morality is currently my favorite thing ever. im not sure if you're just incredibly smart or have the gift of prophecy but you are so right and the post is very very good
hi! i'm so glad you enjoy my post >.<
i tragically do not have the gift of prophecy, but i'm happy to explain my reasoning! spoilers ahead.
first off, i wanna say that when i made that post, it was less of a prediction and more of a reading of what the show had already laid out.
i've seen a few detractors of my post on twitter, all of them saying things along the lines of "this is a misguided take because lg is selfless. lg only killed vein bc vein killed csx. we have no proof that lg is sacrificing others." there's a lot to pick apart with these rebuttals, and i'll get to that, but i feel there is one essential point they are all missing: time travel in an of itself is an act of hubris.
going back in time with the intention of changing the past is one born out of great hubristic selfishness. anyone doing so is automatically (and wrongfully) assuming the role of a god.
the show is well aware of this. take the earthquake arc for example. as csx takes it upon himself to try and evacuate the village, lg points out that in doing so, he could end up inadvertently killing more people. this is because the butterfly effect is uncertain and lg knows this. that whole interaction functions two-fold. one: it establishes that the narrative itself is aware of the stakes here. it is an in-universe acknowledgment that changing the past, even if it's to save lives, is extremely risky and ultimately selfish. two: it establishes that lg is very aware of this truth, which is what makes the s2 reveal so shocking. despite being aware of the consequences, lg is still trying to change the past to save csx.
it also tells us that lg's steadfastness about csx not changing the past is likely born out of a fear of csx accidentally messing up the timeline lg is cultivating, and not out of some noble effort to minimize their impact on others' lives, which is how it was previously framed. all this evidence paints a very clear picture: lu guang is not the morally just character we once thought. he is placing his own happiness above literally everyone else's wellbeing. yes he is trying to save csx, but he's only doing that because he can't stomach the idea of living without him. his motivations are objectively selfish at their core.
back to the detractors: i feel some people are conflating lg's actions being done out of love for his actions also being selfless. and while i agree there is an (albeit twisted) form of love behind all this, there is nothing selfless about what he's doing. why does lg get to decide what the future should hold? why does any one man get the final say on what happens to the rest of the world, and all the billions of rich lives within it? hell, why does he even get to decide what happens to csx? yes he's acting under the pretense of saving csx, but does csx even want to be saved? would csx even be okay with what he's doing? i honestly don't think so. when csx believed lg had died, he contemplated using his powers to go back in time and save him, but ultimately decided against it because as far as he was concerned, lg wouldn't approve. he understands the potential chain reaction that comes from saving even one life because lg drilled it into his head. even if he is impulsive to a fault, at the end of the day, csx would never want to cause harm to others, especially not at this magnitude.
even if this effort to change the past/future fails, the fact that he was willing to take this massive risk in the first places says a lot about his priorities and overall character. while he probably doesn't actively want to sacrifice others, he absolutely will if it means keeping csx in his life saving csx.
in this most recent episode, just minutes before killing vein, he says to him, "do you know the butterfly effect? in a dynamic system, any subtle change in the initial conditions may lead to different outcomes. i've been thinking how to change a destined ending completely. if there is an additional point before this, an unchangeable point, what will happen? no need to fear the deviation. just let it happen more completely." lg killed vein partly out of revenge yes, but also to create another unchangeable node in the timeline. he is trying to secure csx's future by taking another life.
and none of this is even touching on how lg possessed a woman's body, which is a COMPLETE violation of her autonomy, to kill vein, knowing damn well she'd take the fall for his murder. lol.
so yeah. lu guang is (and always has been) a selfish, immoral bastard (she said with love), and the writers were very deliberate in setting that up.
there's so much more i could say on this but then this would get way too long, which it already lowkey is haha. thank you for the ask! i genuinely appreciate the opportunity to word vomit all this <3
#sympathetic =/= morally grey#link click#shiguang daili ren#link click spoilers#asks#ask#i forgot what tag i use for asks oopps.#i did this instead of working <3
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Ohhhhh so THATS what they changedddd- (ugh it's bad but good...)
Yeah totally agree with you on the "THERE'S A FUCKING APOCALYPSE BRO I DON'T THINK ME KISSING A GIRL WILL MAKE THINGS WORSE-!"
But I understand how Alek probably wants to write Anna off as (Definitely needs more bc it's shit-)
The idea that "it's wrong" isn't really a religious thing as much as you would expect. I say this as someone who didn't really do the "go to church every sunday" or "pray every night" type of thing but I DID have the typical religious household in a Mexican family. I didn't get told "you'll go yo hell" or "God doesn't love you bc your a child of satan-"
No thankfully none of that. But did get indirect signals.
An eyeroll, a groan, a simple comment, or a disgusted expression is ENOUGH for not only internalized homophobia to be developed but fear of acceptance
Which is what I think Anna is going through. It is the stage of acceptance. In which one not only accepts one's self but the fact that there will be people against you for the sole fact of BEING gay. And that THAT won't stop you from being your gay self (is it badly written and makes me want to cry with how bad it is sometimes? Yes but that's another thing-)
Anna isn't in a religious household or constantly being told "being gay is a bad so....no [smack]"
...But she kinda is. Bc that's probably what's going through her head at the slightest interaction with Lane. I can FEEL her internal anxiety and rage at not only Lane but in herself because "friends don't....FEEL things for friends"
"Your mind is not only your permanent home but also your most present one." - Uselessgay 2025 :))
Also we all know Anna treasures Dimitri above almost everything right? She wants his approval and praise and it stems from her want and need for approval from her own FATHER
And from what I've read it's not likely Dimitri is too fond of the idea that his sister is 💅💅💅
From a nasty disgusted look to acting cold and uncaring to her when she need reassurance
That to someone who constantly seeks the approval from those she loves is soul crushing. it's not a simple pain in your chest but something that sticks to you like unactivated slime! It's something you keeps it's claws in a death grip when hugging you and that u remember unconsciously
Now pair that with one's unintentional internalized homophobia and it's enough to not only be cruel to yourself but to whoever one likes in a gay way
The kiss scene in my mind was perfect. (As perfect as bad writing can get but...it's not BAAAD! (She could use a little more experience in writing such scenes))
The kiss and the scene leading up to it wasn't soft nor loving. It's was angry and desperate.
You're allowed to disagree bc I know what I'm saying is infuriating to ppl who just want Anna to stop being so...[wild gestures]
But it's real. It's fucking infuriating that only wlw have to deal with this shit when the straights are off smooching and having sex in the first 💎 diamond 💎 scene
But It's really is only something that straight people could never understand. I know it's hard to live in a time where wlw players are more accepted than ever but still [gestures wildly again]
Anna's route.....isn't BAD nor is it GOOD but it is real in the sense that it give the real experience OF being gay in an otherwise unaccepting environment
Again it's stupid and heartbreaking that's its ONLY wlw but wlw is not straight and it never will be (please don't take that as an insult! I mean that in a "agree to disagree" way and a "appreciate being you" type-pa way)
--- And omg this is so long- sorry I just want everyone to know I'm not COMPLETELY crazy in justifying the route.. I see the good in the bad and willing to ask questions...I'm not being mean I swear- :')
I haven’t caught up to Anna’s route yet on my slot but lowkey what was that…
Apparently there’s variations depending on VoG or WoD/ compassion/no compassion etc and I’ve seen ss for one path only so far.
I just don’t get why Anna, who has so far been presented as being averse to looking at women romantically say something like this ? It feels ooc almost idk. You could argue that she’s opening up slowly, and is still in denial over her feelings and/or sexuality and this was a way to open that avenue but it doesn’t feel right to me idk why.
using the word ‘recoiled’ and then saying she wanted to ‘wash herself’ is genuinely crazy bye. look, I would also recoil if someone kissed me outta nowhere (doubly so if I was struggling with my sexuality) but ‘wash herself off’ IS SO INSANE???? as if it’s a dirty act. and before anyone says anything, I know there are people have repressed desires; they can’t come to terms with themselves being attracted to the same gender and they could potentially feel that way. but oh my god, there has been no nuance in the way this has been handled. no deep religious trauma that could’ve molded her this way, nothing that could even potentially explain why Anna would see same sex relationships and attraction the way she does. (someone correct me if I’m wrong pls it’s been ages since I played my Anna route)
Lada and Tata’s budding relationship has been handled so much better. There’s questions from both and you can see they’re both new to this; Lada even questions herself if ‘it’s okay’ to feel that way but it makes her feel happy so she does what her heart tells her to. What kinda reasoning is it that an apocalypse can happen but heaven forbid u wanna kiss a girl
There were so many ways to write a kiss scene between them. Idk if I’m overthinking or if anyone else felt the same way
ITS SO WEIRD. this woman hates lesbians and bisexual players bruh i cannot.
(also hearing that fucking Boris appears today in a vision made me crash the fuck out)
#heavens secret: requiem#rc hsr#rc anna#rc cain#romance club spoilers#romance club update#romance club#lgbtq#gay awakening
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I do find it kind of funny how everyone is taking the nyarlathotep thing bc they’re all taking it as validation where when I heard it I heard Harlan winding up to hit a bees nest and then go “FUCKING IDIOT SHUT UP.” Directly into my face about one of my fav theories. I need it on the record that this was a positive thing for me I love when Harlan is a bitch.
#malevolent#kayne malevolent#i think it could be a yes or a no bc above all it was#Who fucking cares mind your buisness#But also I’m taking it as a no#Like if I ask if you are a furry#And you say shut the fuck up I’ve always hated you and I am actively about to kill you#And it wasn’t asked in an accusatory way#Then like#Pretty sure they aren’t#Go king give us nothing
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also while we're here i would like to share the two iterations of tumblr user gorespawn that have existed since i abandoned this blog back in like early 2021. Who wants me
#i grew my hair out so i could twirl my hair while giggling about bald men#and also t.o.p of bigbang#and short men i see at the grocery store who honestly make me feel light-headed with raw and unbridled Want#but that's just a joke. i am. Lesbian#''no ur not'' I AM#anyway i used to be so ripped and hunky but now i am frail and sickly#what getting a job can do to a mf#thankfully i quit my job last week YIPPIIIEEEEEEE so now i will work towards becoming an absolute hunk again#wish me luck#ALSO#if anyone is obsessed with me and remembers all my lore i used to be transgender and i still am like lowkey on the down low#but in a new exciting way#anyway i used to be a gay man and then a stone butch dyke (as seen above) but now im practicing being a girl#it is very difficult but it is also fun. ive never been a girl before so it's a lot#anyway i bought two super cool sexy dresses yesterday for the first time ever in my life#sexy dresses meaning up to my neck and down to my feet and past my elbows. kind of like a wardrobe straight out of the handmaid's tale#from (to quote my friend) ''*The* old lady store'' thanks man. well i think theyre pretty and its v exciting bc ive never been a girl befor#anyway#who wants me#i still use the name emil online btw and i honestly always will i think it's just so me and also i do still answer to he/him dw#in a man way not in a he/him lesbian way#''he's LGBTQA+'' what. all at once?#yes.#i have mastered them all i have collected all the genders and all the sexualities and ive never been ''wrong''#it just keeps switching. which is fine. well im a girl now. in a detransitioning man way. who is insanely attracted to men#but you will have to tear this lesbian label out of my cold dead hands#''you can't call urself lesbian if u have sex w men'' well first of all fuck you and second of all i am celibate so you dont need to worry#''what the hell are you talking about'' nothing. now look how hot i am#im just joking around i hope that's fine w y'all
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trying to psych myself up to finally do oc refs by doing fandom-related refs instead: volume 1
wanted to update my yuma from whatever tf this au is so he was a bit more unique... takes inspo from a lot of different things while also trying to be its own sorta thing? which is fitting given the au ;)
bonus chibi now that i'm also figuring out how tf to do chibis lol:
#my art lol#synth v yuma#yuma synthv#synth v#synthv fanart#synthesizer v#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#YES I KNOW ITS DIFFERENT but at this rate its the umbrella tag. all vsynth shit goes under there just like on main 😔#sorry for the annoyign watermarks i just dont want this to get stolennn/traced it'll b my joker arc. is2g#like thats never happened to me before as far as i know but now that my art is getting 'better' i begin to get scared that it will happen#if my fanart got stolen i'd def sting a little yeah but not hurt AS bad as if someone stole my original shit. THAT would hurt#one of many reasons why i post less personal oc stuffs. although as mentioned above i AM in an oc mood so i wanna draw em maybe...#and stuff like this is a step to develop a PROPER FUCKING REF STYLE bc i SUCKKKK AT MAKING REFS LOL 😭 BUT I SHOULD GIT GUD#i have a few other refs planned for vocaloid au (i guess???) related shit but they're not done yet. this one was also a wip that i just??#impulsively decided to redo & finish bc i wanted to draw but nothing else i was trying to draw came out right. advantages of many wips#i have SOOO many things i could say abt some of the things that went into this redesign but i dont wanna come off as pretentious 😔💔#obviously it was primarily inspired by the vimalion yuma design but. there's moreeee that i can't explain here bc tag limits and im shy#i do think i want to try and be more intentional with my character designs now so i'm seeing how that goes as i redesign some old ocs#man though this kind of stuff makes me remember i used to LOVEE doing this stuff. and now its even crazierr given art improvement#uaurhghh my head is buzzing w/. so many thoughts. THIS ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPENS I GET SO MANY IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY GFD#this is actually from today though unlike some other things i might eventually post. that'll make more sense soon#and fuckkk i forgot the chain necklace thing on the chibi yeah but i couldnt get it to look good. whatever
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sighs and collapses and disintegrates into the wind
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#cw vent post#ah yes. another restless nights sleep in a cold room bc i was too upset and sick to eat enough yesterday and my nightmares won’t let up and#my heater isn’t enough to warm the room when it’s this fucking cold outside. but it’s fine bc i don’t think i deserve to be warmer anyway#i should get water but i’ve been stuck laying here for an hour wondering if im racist and feeling like i should just. leave. or smthn. idk#i need a caregiver so there’s someone here to stop me from doomscrolling tumblr and reddit discourse for two hours before bed. lol#but ig no matter how careful i try to be there’ll always be part of me thats. unconsciously? racist? bc im white so its just part of me#idk im not educated enough to talk about it so i guess the real lesson to learn here is to keep my fucking mouth shut. which i can do!#i don’t. know how to apologize correctly. bc no one wants to hear me piss and moan abt my white guilt. if that’s what it even is#im too stupid to understand what to do or say and the more i type the worse it sounds so im just. sorry. i apologize for anything i’ve said#or done. that wasn’t right or was insensitive or thoughtless or uneducated or. whatever else it is i rlly don’t know#i didn’t mean to use AAVE. i really didn’t know. so i’ll go edit the tag where i used it but. that’s only one example. how many more am i#unaware of? how often do i put my foot in my mouth and not know it? im sorry. i’ll try to do better#but there’s so much to be mindful of that i can’t keep track of it all and it’s overwhelming me so i think i should just. be quiet.#‘always a fanfic writer at the scene of the crime’ i. didn’t know there was a connection between racism and fanfic. now im worried#was that just an easy jab to make bc it’s cringe or is it actually problematic. why does it seem like theres smthn wrong w everything i do#anyways. i have to stop thinking abt it or im gonna anxiety vomit. i could go lay on the couch#it in the only warm room of the house but it’s covered in dog hair and i hate the smell from the stupid fucking propane heater#it gives me a headache and makes me paranoid. why did he install gas heat when he could’ve gone with a heat pump. all he did was make#everything harder on everybody. so now we have dangerous gas heat in the winter and shitty mold-filled window ac units in the summer#when he could’ve installed a heat pump/ac unit combo thingy and we would’ve been good to go. why is he like this.#YOURE A GODDAMN ELECTRICIAN. HAVE BEEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. SO ACT LIKE IT.#im staying in bed. the rest of the house reeks of burnt plastic bc SOMEONE decided to take FOUR sedatives and drink a couple beers before#trying to use the stove to cook dinner :))) so now i have to figure out how to clean that up. i take back everything i said about winter#being my favorite season. this shit fucking sucks. there’s so much more to stress over and it’s all so much more expensive and exhausting#i never want another dog or cat ever again after these two pass. im not the person i once was and i cannot care for them like i used to.#i can’t even care for myself. couldn’t if i Wanted to right now bc everything is frozen solid. can’t shower. can’t do any laundry.#just get to sit here filthy cold and miserable in the one clean-ish sweater i have left for ? days until temps get back above freezing#anyways thats enough bitching abt my first world problems. time to shut up and be grateful for what i Do have bc it could be a Lot worse
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been unspeakably horny for like 3 weeks straight im starting to get scared. well anyway. happy year
#scared bc for some reason my brain keeps forcing images of one of my coworker's into my periphery and i do NOT like him like that !!!!!#for once i can confidently say i am not into this man at all in the slightest so i need this to cease before i drive myself insane 🙏#one time like many many months ago idek how long ago me and him and someone else were talking in the office and#idk what it was the angle we were standing or the lighting idk what but he fluttered his little eyelashes and i got instantly wet#it was so weird and sudden and most of all unconscious that i had to walk away#usually i'd have to establish To Myself . In My Brain that im attracted to someone before i have a bodily reaction to them if thatmakessense#ever since then i have been. concerned#but anyway hes a 30-something receding hairline doomer libertarian former army guy. so NO !!!!!!!!#on the other hand he's got rich lesbian moms who already like me 🤔 on the other hand they are old republican white ladies.#on the one hand he's always pretty nice to me even when i dont deserve it and he says yes ma'am when i ask him to do things 👀#on the other hand he will adjust his balls no matter the situation or setting it pisses me off every time.#AND HE STINKS sometimes which is probably the worst of all#but above all else he is the spitting image (and personality) of charlie kelly . truly a mixed bag#anyway i think the scary part is i do think that if i really truly wanted to i could fuck him at a moment's notice i get the feeling he'd be#down. but with all the negatives ik i dont actually want to im just lonely and want some validation more than anything else#so i shant do a thing about it. but tell that to my pussy!#2025: i am mature now. but i be knowing things.
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Got to all the dragon tear memories and noooo whyyyy did my guess with zelda doing it had to be right. More than dragon tears were shed oh dear hylia. Idk if I am just more emotional lately or if that close up with her dragon form crying got to me. She looks absolutely radiant as a dragon but whyyyyyyyyy. Idk if I like or hate it. It is interesting but my emotions </3 Let me at least get close to her as a dragon. I will fail but I will absolutely try to speed after her now.
#totk spoilers#Got to the last then her dragon flew by and I just said 'oh that looks way too close to zelda oh please not tell me I'm wrong'.#Went to the last tear but wasn't sure I was ready. Man.#There are still mems n story I wonder if that like changes or if she truly stays one and that's it#Hnnnnnnnn#Was smth w the last one I got being the 8 one w the three having a nice tea time#and then her dragon form flying above me and reveal the last one#Didn't cry much bc it's genuinely hard to let myself cry but nonetheless totk now counts as a game that made me#Which is an achievement#ganondorf sexy yadayada yes I agree but MY GIRL TURNED INTO AN IMMORTAL DRAGON SO THAT LINK CAN SAVE HYRULE#I might. Have stronger emotions abt zelink/zelda than I think huh.#I am an empath but only with fictional characters /hj#Link and zelda became like children to me. My darling daughter why did you do that. I get it but WHY#I could try to talk abt all this more eloquent all I say is I get why and support her decision. She knows what she does.#Link and me will not let it be in vain but ik you already have absolute faith in him#her dragon eyes truly mesmerize me they feel so full of emotions#a wild lux appears
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Tomorrow I need to do an eye checkup in english (instead of german aka the norm) and I just checked if there are any better ways to explains things or tell people what to do etc instead of my basically direct translations and turns out
nope
it sounds exactly as stupid as i already worded it, no special words or better formed sentences around 10/10 school english is good enough (nice)
#txts#i am not excited#bc its always difficult to do specialized shit in another language#AND the person i am examining doesnt even know english and has a translator#so I speak english and the translator translates it over#which CAN be fine#but for finer reactions it can screw things over a bit so i hope thats not the case (:#also my coworker who can also do these in english got salty and decided to not do them anymore bc its not in his job description#which like-great i guess we can all just decide not to do things#like....an eye exam which IS in our job description with no languages specified (:#but then he is also the first to cry about ppl not going above and beyond#truly amazing thinking there#its not even like its truly hard its just annoying to do if the person you examin doesnt fucking understand you#goes for native german speakers as well#some ppl just dont have braincells#'please look at the number 9 in the 3 line'#//begins to read the entire thing from the top again#look-stupidity is not a sin and neither is misunderstanding stuff even if sometimes idek how you could#but also.....pls just actually listen and comprehend the words i am using#also dont suddenly throw out a 3rd or 4th option on a 2 question answer#or dont fucking interrupt me during a question either (:#'alright so do you prefer 1 or-' 'URGH NO THATS SO BAD NO NEVER' 'OR 2' 'NOOOOOO THATS BAD!!!!! I CANT SEE!!!'#yes m'am we are fuCKING WORKING ON IT#RELAX PLEASE DEAR FUCKNG GOD WE ARE LIKE 30SECONDS IN#this suddenly turned into a tags-rant oops#but yeah#pet peeve is ppl fucking interrupting me (: or not listening at all ever (:
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good morning! give me your opinions on ... okay this is hard i'm trying to come up with something that a) is a decent question that's not just "do you like honeydew milk tea" or something and also b) i genuinely don't know your take on for real. and the problem is that we yell about our takes at each other like daily. um.
okay how's this. open ended. in your opinion, what's the best vibe for tim's hero identity in the future? (not like rebirth future but like. the general postcrisis sandbox where we prefer to live.) any thoughts on names, costumes, etc?
...but also now that i'm thinking about it. in your opinion whats the best cold bevvy?
Hii<3 its good u specified not rebirth actually bc for rebirth i have no idea theyve made him so boring i cant think of anything that could be fun, but in a pre flashpoint future.. Im trying to think of something that would be thematically appropriate/something i can see tim coming up with but im so stumped bc both robin and red robin have been someone elses first and tim feels so tied to being a legacy guy, which isnt bad but. U know. I will take anything but robin at this point. Ive seen cardinal and rook around and i think you mentioned red heron once? Which are all great i enjoy them and i would love to see them. Britta and i also talked a lot about rosefinch but thats for a specific au... The thing is all these feel very random? I like them but i dont think tim would google a list of birds and just pick one he wants to be now (which is what i do. When trying to come up with a new tim identity) like i would like it to be something thats meaningful, like nightwing got offered to dick with a fitting story and robin is already a symbol, but i cant think of anything for tim rn.. It doesnt even have to be a bird tbf as much as i love a good bird. So im open to ideas i would love to hear what takes people have on this
Design wise i think ive been pretty loud about how much i love red robin in my ideal (and laziest) world i would simply keep that suit but thats not how it works.. I would definitely keep the cowl thats my one strong stance of the costume. Like aside from the fact that its sick in a freak way it is actually a good mask that conceals the face which. I know comics dont tend to care about but i do and i like it so<3 I also like this second design i think something like that could be fun it would never happen in rebirth but a girl can dream basically predictably enough my ideal costume would just be a modified red robin costume
Best cold drink imo.. Pineapple juice. Mango juice. Those multivitamin juices. I love a good cocktail a lot also a friend has unfortunately got me into hell (energy drink) and the cherry flavored one especially rules
#Ty rimi<3#Idk i understand why people dont like red robin as an identity but i do. I think its fun#Yea yea it was a punishment and he picked it as a temporary thing but sometimes things change and u grow into it. He could make it his#Thats my argument for red robin in general but i know thats not what anyone wants to hear#I definitely agree that red robin as a name isnt great bc its just 3 letters away from robin and u cant really change the name and keep the#Costume thats not really efficient#But these are my two cents for red robin. I think it doesnt have to be that black and white#I tend to fall back on red robin in my fics mostly bc i dont like making up completely new identities for reasons above#I dont think its bad to be clear. It just never feels right to me personally. Maybe i just need to be convinced of one#Like for kon supernova simply works! It fits perfectly#Also i like red as a nickname which is also why i like red heron. Its cute#Ask#There is just no drawbacks of red robin costume to me. Unnecessarily long cape? Perfect. Cowl? Yes. The boots? Beautiful#Useless bandoliers? Truly what more can u ask for#Also remember how thats the suit he had in convergence batgirl where theyre all clearly adults? A small win for me
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brings me joy to see fanart of hana. she is funny!!
#I’ll always be her defender#writing wise it’s a disappointing and bad choice for gege to write hana and by extension angel out#when there’s SO much there that was skimmed over the second they failed to kill sukuna#and for what? because Hana’s missing an arm?? even then there could be more dialogue between characters or angel flashbacks#but that aside fans also say the worst shit#that typical thing where a teenage girl is kinda cringey and silly. then suddenly there’s people ripping her apart for being annoying/whiny#same w the fan polls where i saw comments saying maki and nobara being low is bc jjk is bad with women#and yes it absolutely is bad in that department. but that is Not why inumaki or naoya place so high above 😭#I’m glad there’s more love for Mai too. she falls into a similar place as hana where she doesn’t have a huge role#and there were missed writing opportunities (although I think Mai’s presence is pretty great tbh)#but fans overlook everything (and esp. their relationships and trauma) and just call her names#that’s enough of my monthly rant where i want to vent a little about characters deserving more from fans and the creator#look all I’m saying is if inumaki can have such a huge fan base just bc people like his design#then why not hana!! she has an interesting backstory - is funny - AND has amazing fashion
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btw controversial but fuckk ptsd dude yohre telling me judt bc my parents shouldnt ever have been parents now i have to be fucked up for the rest of my life .
#i know like..coping mechanisms and ris8ng above and learning to live with it but like its fucking stupid and unfair bc im never gonna stop#having ptsd yk. my episodes might get less frequent i might build happier memories but jm always gonna have these memory blocks and trigger#s and nightmares like. forever. im never gonna get to have had a normal childhood thats the most fuckedbup thing ever#like ik this is whiny but like. why. why me what did i do to deserve that childhood. not that any kid deserves abusive childhoods obviously#it sounds like im like ermmm there r wayyy worse kids who shouldve been the ones to go to the zoo 💀 but like ykwim. why does#thus have to happen to so many ppl i hate it i hate it. i wish i could just Actually forget everything instead of just like. not rly#remembering it but Knowing it..yk. i know everything that happened to me even if its all blocked out#and i still feel like. the effects of it even the stuff thats jncredibly hazy to me. and jm never not gojng to feel that. my personality hs#literally been fucking shaped by the childhood i have and like. yes you can 'change' your personality a bit and your choices blah blah blah#but like. even with that. im still always gonna be like. my first impulse will always be distrust and doubt and fear. even if i train#myself not to Act on those emotions i still will always feel them. im always going to expect people to leave even if they dont even if i#dont let myself push them away its something im always going to be terrified of in the back of my mind. im never gojng to have#proper social skills bc i fully missed out on that stage of development im never going to be like. at the same level as my peers bc i#missed out on those skills. sigh. ik ik ik feeljng inhuman and feeljng different from everybody else is a jniversal thing but i truly think#im like. im missing something that everybody else seems to have and i dont even know what it is but i know i dont have it and everyone#can tell j dont have it and it fucking. sucks . basically
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muse — FAYE BROOKES. 30s. bisexual. journalist / aspiring publisher. karen gillan fc. plot — it’s the holidays and faye has no choice but to visit her family back in glasgow, scotland for the holidays. her mother, ever the church go'er has invited the new young priest for the first family dinner, years spent in catholic school had taught faye to not engage with men of the cloth, but your muse is proving to be quite…different. smut and angst abound, muse can be scottish, can be not. inspo.
It was her childhood bedroom, in the home she grew up, the city she was born into, and she felt like she was a teenager again, smoking out the window so the smell wouldn’t linger in the room and her mother would have something to say about it. Was it ridiculous that a grown woman sought to avoid a lecture from her mother? Absolutely. Then again, being back made her feel like a teenager in all sense of the word. Inhaling deep, it gave a bit of warmth in the crisp Scotland air as she held the smoke and then exhaled, finding her nerves relaxing at least a bit after what was supposed to be a calm, happy family dinner. But, Sheila Brookes was a woman that was almost as inquisitive as her journalist daughter, except her questions were more invasive. Not that she would ask Faye about her work — w e l l, not entirely true. She asked one question and then followed up about any romantic prospects the redhead had. Which was ridiculous, in her mind, her love life certainly active but not at all lasting. Certainly not something she could openly talk to her mother about, at any rate. Perhaps she would tell her uncle about her latest exploits when she was set to meet up at his pub and after a few drinks, but certainly not her mother, and most definitely not at the dinner table with their guest. Sprung last minute on Faye, dressed in casual attire that for a panicked moment, Faye worried this was to be a blind date or set up concocted by her mother. But oh no, it was much worse. Though dressed casual, he was, in fact, the new priest that came into the city and it took all of Faye to not laugh outright when it was explained. Of course her mother would invite a priest the night Faye flew back home! She was surprised Sheila didn’t suggest a baptism renewal or some other god awful thing right there at dinner, to wash away the sin from Faye’s body. For fuck’s sake, she thought, going for another drag, at least thankful it wasn’t her ex that came to supper, small favors and all that —
A knock on the door and a second later it opened. A bit rude, she thought, not waiting for an answer, turning her head to see the holy vessel themselves at her doorway. She let out a soft huff, taking a moment to take yet another drag as she looked at them, “You won’t tell me ma, would you, Father? I dunno if smokin’ in my mother’s house is a sin per say, though I’m sure in her book, not so much yours.” She couldn’t help the snark out of her voice, she never much done well with his type, the holy type, so quick to judge and condemn her. Tapping her cigarette at the ash tray she smuggled in, she let out a sigh, “If your lookin’ for the toilet, it’s the other end of the hallway, unless you want a smoke yourself. I think you lot can do that… Not rightly sure.”
#indie smut rp#every heated whisper evoking desires beyond measure 💋 — stories#watch me go higher and rise above those that didn't think i could 💋 — faye's rising story#just one kiss is all it took and now you can say that you're hooked 💋 — opens#me?? reposting an old open from my old blog?? bc christmas??#yes
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i think if you ask atsumu if he’d still love you if you were a worm one night before bed, he’d get all excited and turn to face you with this huge smile and be like “I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YA TO ASK ME! I’VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT A LOT!” and go on to explain his plan for two different scenarios- one where you get turned into a worm in front of him via wizard/warlock/witch/spell user/some curse, and one where you turn into a worm overnight and he’s not sure where tf you are in the morning bc he wasn’t there to see it happen.
he then goes on to proudly explain that in the first scenario he’d build you this little portable terrarium and carry you around while he finds a cure for you. and he’d take such good care of you.
in the second scenario he freaks out about you being gone, but comes to the conclusion that he’d somehow eventually realize that you were the worm he found on your pillow that morning and take good care of you and work tirelessly to find a cure as well. he tells you about the terrarium he’d build you in extreme detail. you’d apparently be living a luxury life worms could only dream of, according to him. no birds are getting you while you’re under his care. (<- his exact words.) he’ll get you the premium dirt and a huge fish tank.
so short answer is yes, he would absolutely still love you if you were a worm and he would go above and beyond for you.
you’re touched of course, and also very tempted to find a worm to put on your pillow before he wakes up and hide in the bathroom tomorrow morning to scare him a bit.
#rev daydreams#character talks#i. don’t know what this is. genuinely.#i was overtaken and this spawned#i just think he’d be so proud of himself for that answer. he put a lot of thought into it.#he is so cute and I love him and in my heart he is also a little nerd like me who makes full plans for fake scenarios#atsumu miya x reader#atsumu x reader#hq headcanons
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need ellie who can’t stop whining while fucking you with the strap because it feels so good against her clit :(
warnings: 18+ content, sub!top ellie (though its implied she usually isn’t a sub), strap-on sex (r! receiving), strap is referred to as Ellie’s dick
Ellie usually prides herself on her strap game. On a bad day, she can have you still satisfied underneath her and cuddle with you, even if she doesn’t have the energy to pull a second orgasm from you. On a good day, she could be on a late night Mcdonald’s run after fucking you for hours on end.
Currently, Ellie feels almost embarrassed by the way she is sloppily grinding into you. She swears to herself that she just needs a few more seconds of this absolute heavenly feeling, but it’s hard when she can almost feel your silky walls grip her, making it extremely difficult for her to pull away and slam back into you just to hit your g-spot.
If she was honest though, Ellie would admit that what really caused this was the base of the strap hitting right onto her clit, which didn’t help at all because the nub was already swollen with neglected need. She lost herself in that one brush, and soon found herself just..grinding against your pussy, using it shamelessly.
You are really confused. Ellie usually doesn’t fuck you like this, but it still kinda does the job and helps the tip of her dick brush all over your insides. It’s just not like Ellie’s usual methods of movement, but when she starts whining, you catch on.
Her moans have always been glorious, but this is another level. You have this usually composed girl grinding into your cunt so she can get off, and she whines while she does it. You pray to whatever higher being that she does this again.
“Feels good?”
“Yes baby, your pussy feels so good..” She plants a messy, wet smooch on your cheek and buries her face into the junction between your neck and shoulder.
“Gonna cum in me? Make a mess?” You know she can’t actually do that, but your head is fuzzy from your girlfriend literally humping you, so all you can really think about is how good her juices would feel on your pussy.
“Fuck!!” She grabs your thighs, hands spreading over the soft skin, and spreads you wider so that she can at least attempt to bury herself further into you. “I’m gonna cum, can I please cum on your pussy?”
You moan something almost incoherent, but it’s surely permission. Ellie’s movements grow frantic until you feel her tense up above you, letting little breathy pants out that heat up your skin. All of it gets you hot—her sweaty skin against yours, the scent of her shampoo that fills your nostrils, those soft whines and blissful cries, and the movements that somehow have you cumming with her.
Her body is soon limp on yours, clinging to you like a vice. You feel wetness between both of your bodies, and you can’t tell whose is whose. Juices all inbetween your thighs and probably coating her harness and the dildo attached, but you find it almost intimate. Both of you are sharing the same bliss.
“Love you. Sorry for getting carried away,” she mumbled both lazily and apologetically in your ear, making you squeeze her tightly.
“I love you too, Els. And I think I like when you get all whiney on me,” you say with a giggle.
Now, that is something Ellie will keep in mind.
umm so i went overboard with this one thank you for this request though bc it’s a little old but delicious
#ellie williams#tlou2#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us#ellie x reader#the last of us part 2#ellie smut#requests
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i'll hex you, i'll possess you
pairing(s): aegon ii targaryen x wife!reader, aemond "one eye" targaryen x reader (unrequited/one sided)
synopsis: Your husband is gone. He perished in whatever was left of the battle, seared flesh, and dragon’s tar. As unbearable as it was, you fight for his throne against his brother. Believing it is for his for the taking.
notes: mentions of s02ep05, i fr feel so bad for aegon :( also cw: hints of obsessed!aemond (bc he's insane :D)
In quite a haste, you sped past all the onlookers like flies. They were nonexistent in your peripherals, your attention was entirely up ahead to the King’s chambers, the Kingsguards who stood by. Your Grace, they would say before allowing you passage past their protection. You took a glimpse, here in the dressing room for the King. Your King.
“Your Grace!” The seamstress chirped, turning to greet your lovely smile. And your righteous presence everywhere you went. It affected all now that you were the face of King’s Landing. It’s a hefty duty, yes, however, it seemed many subjects were willing, if not encouraged, of your subsequent role as the consoling figure for the realm to look to.
In front of a tall mirror was Aegon, in full Valyrian armor. You’d guessed the armor was passed down through his ancestral line, ancient, and beautiful it was kept. All the plates fit him perfectly with little alterations to adjust. Yet absent of the signature helmet paired with it, his blonde hair lay just above his shoulders, gently.
Ever so kind were your visage toward the King. You could feel the corners of your lips curve warmly at the sight of him. He was handsome and eager to appease the people of his kingdom. Though he may not be the first choice for Throne, you knew he was trying his best to uphold the responsibilities and burden those must bear. You would have to bear it as well if you were Queen.
“Good morrow,” You breathed, flattening the wrinkles of your dress as an excuse to eye at Aegon, openly. There was nothing to hide, simply it was different from his normal attire. In armor, in all of your lifetime, you never had to experience warfare, for better or worse.
“Ah, my lovely wife!” In exclamation, your husband turns to compliment your captivating smile as he gleams contentedly. He takes a few steps down from the small stairway from the miniature podium, while some of his personal Kingsguard can be heard snickering. Which you wholeheartedly ignored as your attention laid straight to your King’s beaming face. “Just who I wanted to see!”
“I must speak with you,” Through your expressed delightfulness, the tone of your voice is quickly replaced with a sour one. And it seemed to have caught the attention of the seamstress and others in the room as they all paused at your subtle notion of privacy. “Alone.” Only when you mention it, it’s as though they were a flock of birds, all fleeing from the chambers at once. A few clatters and suddenly the doors were quietly slammed shut with a whisper of a demand.
However, your husband did not seem fazed at all. He merely shrugged, casually walking to fill a cup or two with wine. Yet a visible glower can be caught right after he steps off the podium and to the table of beverages. Sometimes his reaction to your urgency was comedic. The King was never one to take duties earnestly. It’s one of his eminent flaws that all of the townsfolk and servants knew of. His days by the Silk Roads were but a regular story. But now, he is a changed man, Aegon thinks. They’ve witnessed all of his mistakes and tourneys. He’s young and has never been as interested in duty as his siblings. And now suddenly, he was pulled onto the seat as King. And you would have to sit beside him and watch. As a graceful symbol yet mute on what to say on any matter.
How horrendous was that?
“What troubles you, my sweet?” The sound of liquid plops as all of the noise from the outside world becomes muffled. For the past few days, it has been the most chaotic and tragic period of your life. Not just for you and Aegon, but everyone in King’s Landing. Your son, Jaehaerys, was left for dead at the hands of a murderer and false ruler. Panic was running through the streets of Flea Bottom. People questioned the King’s cruel punishment of the rat catchers though Aegon did not care for their grief.
To you, it was more than sadness. But anger and confusion, all of your pent-up emotions ever since living in King’s Landing have made you become this way. The Capital has changed you. To who you were as a person and figure of nobility. Now you were suddenly the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, yet only moments ago, you were the princess of the firstborn son of the King. You should have expected war to come between siblings over the throne, yet your father persisted that the marriage would’ve led to success. Having lost your child, your son, made the promise to communicate more to Aegon. To somehow seek solace in the empty void of your heart in whatever left the world had.
“You named Ser Criston Cole your Hand…” You mumbled slowly, the last words faded out into thin air. Was he wrong to do so? You did not want to say. For the little you knew about the battle being played at hand, you knew Aegon’s impulsiveness would come to the cost of many. Especially of the Council when they have refused relentlessly his thoughts and suggestions. So perhaps this decision would cause more upbringing for the noblemen to bleat about. “Why?”
A muffled sound and then a snort comes out of his mouth as Aegon proceeds to sip his wine. As if not a care of the world or your concern over the matter. “And why does this concern you?”
He does the courtesy to hand you your cup, as you clasped it eagerly to swallow whatever worry your heart must feel. The Queen Regent, Aegon’s brother, Aemond, and even Criston Cole, all look for you in the guidance you have over their King. You’ve yet to make it clear that you don’t control him like many others would consider to do. You’d think it's heartless to manipulate a man of his feelings, especially your husband.
Eventually, you lay the cup down, trailing your finger around the outer details of the golden goblet. It’s glimmering through the sun, carefully designed with outlines of a dragon and flames that surround the jugular of the base of the cup. It curves and twists under your palm as you proceed to swirl the liquid inside and watch as a mini typhoon is formed.
“Do you believe your decision on making him Hand was just?” You lift your gaze to be met with his bright purple eyes. It always seemed intense and vivid in color whenever his attention was on you. As if you were the only person that mattered in the room. And if not at this moment.
You looked ravishing, decorated in his house colors with pops of gold from the jewelry and headwear. You had no shame in exemplifying wealth because he would give you everything willingly. No matter the cost or debt, every piece of gold, and diamond was meant to be yours. He watches as your golden droplet earrings jingle when you shake your head, contemplating your next words. “Because I do not think that was the wisest decision to be made, husband.”
“And, care to explain why?” Like every little piece of his childhood, Aegon looks at every objective like a game. Though he looked like he was trying to resist your hesitancy for his new Hand, he was staring into space at the glorious jewels that make your figure and face pop out more.
You urged, before meeting the King by the tableside where the pitcher lay. “He is a warrior, not a politician,” You set your goblet aside, to look your husband in the eye more closely. “He does not know the ways of the people, especially those who he surrounds himself with. He was born lowborn, making him more naive than aware of tellings.”
Yes, you make great points, he would say if you did not have that adorable scowl on your face. Aegon would admit, he was getting drunk by the minute. And your presence did not help in his regard to be sober. Regardless, he does take account of your calls, more than most that surround himself with. Everyone at the Council is eager to spout their plans and news, it makes him deaf to the ear when they have nothing to contribute when he suggests something. Nevertheless, you at least are supportive of his thoughts. Despite your constructive nature, he appreciates and craves your attention.
Your King hums, drowsily and that was when you knew his mind was somewhere else. You would admit, you too were becoming tipsy with alcohol. After the morning Council meeting, you rather have your head hung outside with ratcatchers at the mess of the Council. You glance at his attire once more and this time, he catches you. He sees you, the way your doe eyes wander up and down his figure. He rarely has a chance to wear dragon armor like this.
“Distracted, are we?” His breath immediately inches away from yours. And the scent of strong alcohol stings. You’re so accustomed to it, that you’re surprised you would still rebuke the scent of it. Apart from that, the look Aegon gives you makes your heart weak. His smile is sluggish but pulls you in like a serpent in water. It’s alluring and hypnotizing, the way his focus wanders in all of you, and the same for him. You can’t help but wonder if the work of the armor was tricked. And you let your desires plunder when you trace his breastplate armor. Of the harsh outlines it’s supposed to represent dragon scales. It’s majestic and divine, fit for a king.
Almost timidly, your husband giggles at your touch. He separates a stray hair from your cheek, allowing leeway more into your personal space. You can’t feel automatically embarrassed if someone were to barge in. Because anyone could, the seamstress, Kingsguard, or worse, his mother.
“Wear that armor more often and perhaps you’ll receive more than indecent staring,” A mischievous grin forms as again another jingle of your golden jewelry. Gods, you’re enticing and coy. Had he mentioned that? More than once.
The first time you were at Court, it was a spur of surprise. Not only had you arrived with Prince Aemond unannounced, but Aegon encouraged it. You would suspect the disapproving faces of the men, especially coming from the King’s Hand and grandsire. How he ploys and plots with every citizen of King’s Landing to do his bidding. To save the Realm, of course, more to have the most influence in the city. You were aware of what he thinks of you. An obedient and dainty princess. The Queen and wife to the King should have no right to speak of politics.
And yet here you were.
“You do not have a seat in this Council,” Queen Regent, Alicent urges, gazing at her second son with slight apprehension. In doubt, she feels a quick quiver of fear the moment Aemond strides past the Council table. When it came to you, Alicent could only muster a poor glance. The one-eyed prince proceeds towards the map of Westeros that stands beside the King. He strides in confidence, abruptly ignoring every piercing stare bestowed on him. Other than him, you reached towards the seat at the opposing side of your King, hand delicately trailing down the handles of the chair.
“Aemond is my closest blood and our strongest sword. I welcome him,” Aegon lay unfazed at the subtle shocked expressions on everyone’s faces. “As for my wife, I think it should be customary for her to be by my side even in Council. As my father has allowed you to do for him, remember mother?” A playful grin, all-knowing of his lightheartedness, and carelessness of what others thought of his decisions. Surely his mother would be the most understanding, bestowing the same position many years ago when King Viserys was dealt ill and immobile. Shouldn’t the Queen beside her King as should they in every instance?
Alicent is silent in her displeasure. There was no reason to refute the King’s wishes and sometimes made you appreciative of Aegon’s power and status. Being King was a risky position however it offered you more freedom and the ability to speak your mind more often than not. Your husband was the cause of this leverage for the most part. You expected the Queen Dowager to give you any kind of sign of comfort except there was none. Only but a forgotten thought and you were dismissed.
It fills you with dismay, a small black hole for where her approval was meant to be. For the last few days, you’d only wished for Alicent’s consoling eyes.
“We should send troops marching to Harrehal, the Riverlands have the largest force.” Aemond waves his hand over where the location of Riverrun is plastered on the wall. It’s curved in cursive lettering, surrounding soft green fields, most notably of their Southern lands, which was an inhabited place of divided houses and discourse. The largest force, it had many issues of compromises and its lordship. “With them, Rhaenyra’s forces would be left vulnerable on land.”
The accordance of hums coaxed the second son with assurance. A sense of pride if you will, knowing how much more skilled and knowable he was than his brother. But the Hand was quick to question his methods.
“And what of the small Houses of Riverrun? The Brackens and Blackwoods have been fighting each other for centuries. They would never work together as one,” Otto points out and it brings more skepticism and worry to the other Councilmen. Alliances with the Southerners were awkward. They do not know when or where to stop the fight. And it has become extremely bothersome at the time of war. The Bracken and Blackwoods were examples of that. They proceeded with the war more for themselves and would kill hundreds of their men if it meant to end their rivalry before the war even began.
“We should negotiate with smaller Houses beyond the River lands then,” Your lips shudder slightly when the immediate eyes turn to you. Even your husband stares at you in astonishment and curiosity the same. Alicent looks at you warily. And Aemond, all too mysterious, holds a neutral look. “Would it not help Ser Criston Cole secure more of the surrounding Houses towards their larger forces? Gaining allies along the way to Riverrun would only add more to our numbers,”
“And in truth, give us a better advantage to overruling Riverrun altogether?” A devilish grin was on Aegon’s face at your suggestion. Your advice seemed promising and seemed risky but it was the most practical. King’s Landing had more advantage on land than the sea or sky, therefore it was evident in their leverage over the smaller Houses close to Riverrun.
You tilt your head in amusement, all while lowering yourself to sit down. Yes, even though you had no experience in politics or war, you listened. You had ears whenever you managed to walk past one of their meetings. It should be frowned upon but you did not care. You wanted to have more say in protecting your family and House. Most things had been provided for you at an early age. You were a princess with a wealthy father, negotiations were your family’s specialty. You learned early on how to enunciate and please people with the way of your words. And here, you simply voiced what you believed was the safest way to Riverrun. Despite all the demeanors, none of the other Councilmen had anything else to say or disprove of your plans.
“Good! Then it’s settled then,” The king rises, as well as everyone else who feels startled at his shifted demeanor. “Then Ser Criston Cole should prepare some men for the long journey ahead of us by dawn!” It was then you felt some sort of pride that would solidify your position at the Council. As long as you hold a strong mind, should your advice become helpful towards the men, you’d hoped they would see your presence as a blessing.
In some midst of it all or perhaps the end, Aemond is quiet. He’s curious and admires you for everything you strive for. Many people would assume he despises you for taking the initiative to aid his king. But he does not believe in that no, you’re a delicate thing and would never be selfish on greed. Merely he can appreciate your ambitious strides from afar. The way you act around the people, the Council, and his mother makes him believe you were born into the role of Queen. You care for your subjects and think of what’s best for them. You do your best to stay by your king’s side even though he lacks the mind for it.
Perhaps maybe, in some cases, he should’ve had you.
The words struck right out of his head just when everyone was dismissed. While the nobleman rushes out of the council room, he delays his leave momentarily to catch a glimpse of you. You define the example of his House’s wealth, always proud to dress in colors of black and crimson red as if it was your second skin. However you do not forget about your own House colors, you embrace it all together with his own and it makes him wonder what kind of beauty like yourself can be persuaded by the likes of his brother. You were quick-witted, amusing, and altogether undeserving of Aegon’s love.
You do not immediately flee the room as his mother or Ser Criston Cole had done. Instead, you slowly rise from your seat and make your way to your husband, eagerly. Aegon sits comfortably in his golden chair, smug with loving eyes at your figure. He could not help but eye at you openly even with his Kingsguard standing beside him.
“Aemond, may we have the room?” He hears his older brother say. It does not take a blind man to know the following events as the one-eyed prince simply tilts his head in your direction. Before storming out of the room and the slam of the doors. His footsteps clank against the cold cobblestone pavement as he makes his way to his room. But all he could think about was your lively laughter as he disappeared from the scene.
The day after Cole’s troops arrived back at King’s Landing, you felt a string of worry crawling down your spine. As you pace across your bedroom, you fiddle with the ends of your loose hair to solace the anxiety you feel in your stomach. The pit was too unbearable as more men would be escorted out towards Rook’s Rest. After Aegon removed Otto Hightower as Hand, Criston Cole became the primary candidate for the position. You voiced your concerns before but Aegon had yet to change his decisions on your advice.
Now rumors have spread that by the time Cole invades Rook’s Rest, Aemond would be by his side to counter whatever attack Rhaenyra plans to defend her councilman. It would risk losing one dragon, the biggest and largest female beast you’d seen. Doubt fills your mind when you try to shake your worries away. You shook your hands feverishly and swatted away the sweat building up against your palms. You must speak to Aemond. You should warn him of the consequences of this act.
You found the prince outside of the castle. Vhagar resides in a shallow space close to the gateways to the city and is attentively monitored for her whereabouts. Very few dragon keepers watch over the powerful beast for her dangerous nature and size. As a cart, full of sheep was being carried by horses, you looked in awe at the amount of necessity the castle must provide for their dragons now. Surely it would impact the people’s living and cost. It worries you how chaotic and unlawful the palace seemed to behave in times of war. Even though you find yourself wanting to question Aemond’s intentions of helping Cole this way.
Your words settle like a soothing wave in his ears. “Prince Aemond,” And when the one-eyed prince spots you, holding the reins of your horse with a steady hand, he’s not afraid to show his approval of your presence. The colors you wear today are regarded as wealth and beauty. The golden linen stretches along the cloth of obsidian, representative of his House, your House. The gown expands upon your collarbone, allowing the silver necklace you have on to become the ire of his attention. It entices him, brings him into your line of view. Clear cut diamonds you had on your earlobes, they jingle at the slightest movement you make, as you make your way towards him with ease.
“Your Grace,” He prompts, politely. He is a plain canvas for you to paint over, to inspect over. You should not be afraid of his presence because he behaves well under yours. The prince regent eyes you down carefully and you’re vaguely reminded of the day before, the two of you entered the Council room.
“How was your ride with Vhagar?” You tenderly incite, head tilting towards his beast. Vhagar sits lazily with her entire body blended into the environment. Her muddy green scales combine with the grassy interior. The dragon pits were deemed too small for her size. And more so claustrophobic for a creature of her caliber, as a champion of many wars and destruction, Vhagar is rather docile for being the largest dragon.
He hums before easily answering. “The morrow dew is not something to be missed during this time. Vhagar could sense it, and the warm breeze is sure to come sooner for summer,” He crossed his arms behind his back as if analyzing your every breath as you walked in irregular patterns, trailing along where his dragon resides. Your attention was not fully on him. No, not that he wouldn’t mind. But it was ignorant on your part to ignore him so easily. “Now save the rest of this nonsense for supper or shall I ask what were your real intentions for coming here? Though I welcome it,”
You catch onto his coarse tone. Aemond dislikes those who do not take him seriously, like his brother. And you are aware of his estranged heart. You give him a look of consideration. It was the look of someone who had the upper hand. You knew he was becoming impatient with your meddling.
“What are your plans with Criston Cole going to Rook’s Rest?” Your figure fully faces him now as you cup your hands together modestly. Surely the prince of the realm should respect the Queen’s uncertainties when he meets with the King’s Hand behind his back. A sliver of dread falls on the blonde prince as you take a step closer. “Consoling with the Hand without the King’s presence is extremely demeaning, my prince. Surely you have a right reason to go behind his back,”
He takes a step forward, as Aemond’s eye moves back and forth from you. “We have a plan,” He is recursive in his thoughts and manners. Yet under your eyes, he feels utterly weak and broken, as if you have put a spell on him. “It is best if the King does not intervene.”
Shaking your head disapprovingly, you fake disappointment. “Then what do you plan to do?” The longer it went on, the more you could feel his blood rising at the way you glanced and teased at his exploits. “As I, the Queen should know.”
“You need not,” The second son grunts, moving away to leave whatever conversation you were trying to muster with him. You intended to snuff out his plans with Criston Cole and expose them to your King's husband. Your King husband. What would he know of battles and formation? He knew better strategy than him yet you still side with Aegon with his pathetic whims on the townsfolk.
Unsatisfied, you shot a disapproving grin. “I know you intend on attacking Rook’s Rest as a surprise, why else would you go with Cole?” You heard his mudded footsteps stop momentarily as you continued. “My question to it is, what are you trying to prove out of this act of disloyalty?” It flicks a trigger in him. A quick flash of anger, jealousy, and disgust, all coiled into one hole that explodes.
“I intend to prove I am the better fit as heir,” His tone is sharp and alert as he stomps back to you with a violent gaze. His one good remaining eye, unharmed and uncut, shoots daggers at your stern face. A small part of you thinks he is handsome. The way you can rile him within seconds gives you a sense of joy and satisfaction that quenches whatever annoyance you had of him before.
“There is no denying that,” Your lips agape still at how much you were able to pry out of Aemond. However, there was one detail you needed to remind him of. “But you fail to recognize that Aegon still has an heir, Maegor.” With that, you close your mouth to form a thin line as you stand more confidently against the prince’s deadly stare. “And as Queen, I hope you do not try to cross your King’s benevolent trust with your anger.”
It was his turn to remain there motionless. The one-eyed prince repeats your words over and over again. He contemplates them long and hard, glaring at the ground, at where you stood, close to his breath and space. But all of his emotional desires could be examples of an ill temper. You twist and turn his head like a puppeteer to a helpless marionette. And his strings had long sprung and trapped him in an immobile place.
He leaves without a word.
The battle was over. But the war continued. You became increasingly paranoid as no word from Cole’s army of Aegon’s wellbeing. You heard unreliable news. This and that but you wanted the real thing. The truth from a real member who had witnessed the battle at Rook’s Rest. As you twist the ring on your finger, you glance towards the rising crowd in the city. There were so many citizens. They succeeded and followed like colonies of ants.
Your anguish was reassured when the sight of the King’s army appeared. Shouts and screams returned you from your thoughts as hundreds of men walked and rode on horseback. Your lively expression did not last long, only to falter when meant with their solemn faces. What a grim battle it must’ve been.
“All hail King Aegon! Who went against and slain the traitor, Rhaenys, and her dragon, Meleys!” Cole exclaims in a harsh and undeserving undertone. From where you stood, on the high mounts of the castle, you saw the horrors of what they’ve done to the traitors. A severed head of the Red Queen, without her rider. Her flesh was torn and burnt. Charred from the attacks of another dragon, you did not believe Aegon had done so. You had doubts and Criston’s indifferent frown proved your intuition.
Alicent was by the patio where you spied on the citizens of King’s Landing. She observes and feels a familiar dread from the aftermath she has yet to witness for herself. You have taken the position of Queen and in turn, must understand the order of things. Simply because she had a feeling that things did not seem as they were predicted by the townsfolk.
When the wooden carriage of your husband is delivered to your bed chambers, everyone storms aside for the guards to set it on the floor. You arrived shortly after, nails and teeth clenched in fear as your mother-in-law appeared beside you with the same fixation. And somewhere else, your brother-in-law, Aemond carefully watches your scared position. The lid lifts and the soldiers hold onto the emergency bed that protects their King. In a swift motion, they lift and allow the body to hover over your shared bed.
In patience and precision, Maester Orywle walks into the chambers with several other maesters under his wing to begin a procedure and analysis of his injured body. The room is quickly transformed into a medical room, with various tools and gadgets displayed for the maesters disposal. You had little clue what they were doing, worried about your husband’s awakened state.
“How is he?” You stumbled by the foot of the bed, where the other maesters scurry to give off Maester Orwyle a scalpel. Gods, the wounds he had mustered. You felt terrified and rightfully so. This could be the last time you see your husband, alive and breathing. “Is he awake?”
“I’m not sure, Your Grace,” Maester Orwlye replies with adequate patience. Knowing the panic and hysteria you must feel for your king, your husband, he pities in your state. You should not deserve such sorrow. “But I must be given time to work on his fatal wounds. Whether he lives or not will be confirmed afterward.” His unflinching face softens when glances at one of Aegon’s personal Kingsguard to escort you outside. The knight nods and walks forward to excuse himself before coming forward.
“My apologies, Your Grace,”
Yet you did not want to leave. Your palms felt hot and guilt-ridden with the idea of leaving Aegon alone to suffer. You urge, taking a step forward for only Maester Orwyle to hear. “How long can you be sure he will survive?” It’s so hushed with desperation in your voice. But the maester could only respond with a sorrowful shake. It breaks your heart wholly, to know not even the best medical professionals had a clear understanding or answer to their King’s expectancy.
As you feel pathetic tears, ready to fall, the Queen Regent rushes to take hold of your forearm. She drags your pitiful self out of the chambers. The bodies that remained stepped aside for you and Alicent to leave swiftly. A quick flash of silver and black vanishes from your peripherals, but you cannot process anything that is happening anymore.
The syllables of your name ring against your ears as the Queen Regent tries to bring you back to her. “My dear, please focus on me.” Delicate fingers drape a hold of your jaw, firmly. They smooth over the apples of your cheeks, smoothly and soothingly like a gesture a mother would do for their children. “You need to stand strong for Aegon and yourself. Your children, think of Jaehaera and Meagor! Pray to the gods for his health.”
With that, you took a deep breath.
Aemond was avoidant to the whole ordeal. No one besides Criston Cole was there when he found his brother’s scorched body. Alongside his dragon, Sunfrye, it looked as though he was fighting for his last breath. Aemond would’ve taken that chance to send him to eternal sleep if not for Cole’s arrival. A pity for him.
As he watches the scene before him, your grief-stricken features are what caused the most pain. You resembled a tragic painting, so angelic it’s saddening to see you this way. Aemond could’ve done it. He could have killed his brother and taken the glory of killing Meleys. Despite that, he did not and stormed from the scene. Now left in the shadows of what’s to come, he numbly waits for the maester’s work to be done with. The Council meeting will begin shortly. After Aegon’s procedure and Maester Orywle, official confirmation of whether he would live or not would determine whether he would become the true heir or not.
This was what he wanted, yes?
Except, everything was bleak now. All the colors he witnessed were suddenly wiped; now all he saw was black and white. Your tragic face comes into mind, along with your fragile sniffles and tears. Gods, he wanted to comfort your sweet little heart. Yet knowing he was the cause of it, made Aemond strangely more devoted to you. If Aegon does not survive, you are bound to be a widow. Your youngest child, Meagor was still but a babe, unfit and too young to understand what an heir was. Therefore he would be the rightful option if all else failed. He would rule in the King’s stead.
That was what the one-eyed prince considered when he stepped through the doors to begin the Council. The King’s chair was empty as expected, looking lonely and authoritative without its ruler. In the same sense, on the opposite side, you sat soberly with nothing but a blank look. You wore cool-toned colors this morning. It reflected much of what you must be feeling.
Grief, misery, and blame. Even in this poor state, he still considers you attractive and alluring. It’s a shame you looked dejected and lifeless despite all your energy and might to stay awake. Your hair was even braided in a simpler style. Knowing you always had a knack for extraverted taste, Aemond takes in your appearance profoundly. Because perhaps, everyone in the Council can understand the emphasis on the wife of the King. As they eagerly await Maester Orwyle’s results, they all gaze at your seat for any kind of solace.
He takes the chair to your left and sits. While the Grand Maester begins to explain Aegon’s conditions. The longer he spewed, the more you felt your heavy heart fall deeper into your chest. How would the realm react now? Their king suddenly struck and immobile to be by their side. He had defeated Rhaenys in battle however now suffered in a long-inducing coma just as his father did. Who would rule in his absence? It only made sense in your mind but you did not make it become a reality.
“But he is very much alive, Your Grace,” Maester Orywle gives an earnest smile to the Queen Mother as she exhales with the utmost relief. “Though he will need time to recover, I do not think he will ever be the same.”
An unfavorable grunt from Aemond brings attention from you and Cole. “So he is unable to leave his chambers.”
“I’m afraid not,”
“Then we must choose who is to rule in his stead,” Lord Wylde speaks of the obvious, sparing everyone a momentary glance. He clears his throat and rubs his beard, nervously.
“If anyone should come in Aegon’s stead, it is his wife,” Alicent jabs, shooting quick assertiveness when she presses her crossed palms onto the table. Your name leaves her lips as a clear sign of hope. “She was the closest companion to the King and has been since this war started. It is only right for her to continue her husband’s intentions and plans.”
“And what plans did the King have?” A pompous statement coming from her second son, which surprised you as well. Aemond was known for his restrained nature however it seems as days passed, he was slowly losing his grip on his sanity. “I am the closest heir the King has. Would it not be I who rules in his stead?” In the turn of the tides, the room is divided upon their suggestions. You can tell by the wary looks the lords hold with each other. However, you have been grateful for Alicent’s support regardless of the cold shoulder she has given you previously.
“You are not fit, Prince Aemond,” Your fingers slide and take hold of the marble ball in front of you. The weight of the object pleasantly gives you a boost of poise to look him in his one good remaining eye. “The King’s line is still secured for my son, Meagor will become the next heir. But he is young so for the time being, I am naturally the next in line to come to his stead. As his wife and Queen, I should have a say as well.”
It’s what Aegon would’ve wanted.
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