#i think in rin's last moments alive

[psychelockswriting]

@remwantsmorewords thank you for your perfect tags. you get it.

it was never mentioned whether rin knew about what happened to kakashi's dad or not. when minato told obito, it was late at night and we were supposed to think that everyone else was asleep, but who's to say she was actually awake and heard them anyway?

i vaguely remember a short filler arc about rin, kakashi and gai going on a mission together. but it was mostly a kakagai thing? no rin character study bc we can't get anything in this house :/

i think it was kakashi who eventually got distant. it was too painful for either of them to talk about obito's "death" - probably more so for rin, since he was her best friend and she was closer to him. (i could be wrong)

i just wish we could learn more about her life outside of team minato? how did she come to learn medical ninjutsu? why? what were her goals in life? was it her clan's specialty? maybe her clan are all seasoned warriors and she hated violence and so she decided to be a medic instead? or was she born to a normal family of civilians?

she and shizune were the only medics in their year, were they friends? were they both tsunade's students?

(i imagine she and shizune and obito used their collective power of the Puppy Dog Eyes to convince tsunade to train them -- tho obito was only there for emotional support lol)

also was it around that time shizune left the village? was she also affected by rin's death? (this turned into a ramble too, sorry about that 😆)

also it's been almost a decade since i last read/watched naruto, so i don't really remember much about shizune's background, her leaving the village might be completely unrelated to this.

thinking about rin again and it's making me feel a mix of emotions. i wish we could learn more about her, not through the eyes of other characters, but from her own perspective. there’s no way she was okay after witnessing the death of her best friend. (she was understandably very reluctant to leave obito behind, regardless of the danger they were in)

what was it like for her, now that the person she spent most of her time with was gone?

did she ever go to the places where they usually spent their time together expecting to see him there and then remembering that he's gone now?

did she keep her habit of reserving an extra seat for him because she knows he'd be late again? or taking an extra copy of the mission report for him before aggressively crumbling it and throwing it away?

did she take a page out of kakashi's book and try to "kill" her feelings?

did she ever blame herself for getting captured in the first place? did she feel frustrated for not being as capable a combatant as the rest of her classmates? did she spend her free days training until she couldn’t move anymore?

what were her interactions with the rest of her classmates like? did she feel any resentment towards them? towards kakashi? minato?

how much of her sacrifice was madara's manipulation? how much of it was rin's desperation to do something "right" for once?

kishimoto i have so many questions please call me back.

[littlelightfish]

Holm nation... I have a heartbreaking announcement to make.

We didn't get to see this panels animated.

(I wanted to see Laios helping him, this one isn't the one this post is all about)

I feel it's important to his character enough that Kui decided to dedicate three panels about how he aproaches and resurrects Kabru.

He is used to resurrecting people, his party sucks at keeping themselves alive. He walks up to Kabru's corpse with a worried look on his face. Then he kneels besides him and takes a second to process what he is seeing. He is seeing a young man, Kabru, dead. It makes him feel unseasy, a bit of shock that he can't take the luxury of process at the moment. He doesn't want to look, so he closes his eyes and focuses on his spell. He is realizing he is the only one alive from his party (he doesn't know where Mick is or how he is). He is the last one standing. The reality of it all slaps him in the face.

The panel of him just... looking at the mess Kabru's corpse is was just... It was important. It talked about him as a character. "I'm not doing this because I want to, but because I have to". He doesn't has time for emotions. He has a job to do.

It's just three panels. But they provide lots of context between the ones that came before and after.

He doesn't just rubs Kabru's head because he's being afective. He does it because he cares. He does it out of relief. "As long as I'm here, any of you'll be dying soon. And I'll always be here. Don't worry." He is far from being OK after all this. Marillier died, Daya died, Kuro died, Kabru died, Rin died, Mick probably died too (but he doesn't saw it). He... By the time he was the only one standing, the fight was over, and he could alredy resurrect them. He wants to feel sad. To worry, to be concerned, to mourn. But he can't. It isn't necessary.

He is a cleric. He for sure has a notion of dead way different than anyone and feels a certain way about resurrection. "Dying is dying, even if you resurrect." It's a bug at the corner of his mind, he doesn't pay it any attention. He gets resurrected multiple times, he is gratefull he is alive. But seeing all his friends dead? And the most of them mutilated? Covered in their own blood? He has this desire to mourn. To cry the loss. To panic. "They are all dead."

He knows they'll come back. He has to make them come back. So he does. And they are alive. But they weren't a few seconds ago. And he just plays it off, he puts his calm face on as soon as there is another party member alive that could ask him what happened that it disturbed him so much. He throws all those sad feelings under the rug and focuses at the task at hand.

They're going to be ok, he just has to do his job: bring them back from death. They shouldn't even be dead. But they are. And he's going to fix it. No point on feeling sad about them dying if they can be alive soon!

I think the concern that the anime puts here it's something that could come close to what he feels inside. Those seconds are the only ones we see him looking something akin to worried for his friends.

But then...

His worry vanishes in seconds. The moment Kabru revives, he does it in such a "Kabru" way, that he tells himself: "This is fine, they're going to be back soon, nothing to worry about, I just have to hurry". He wants them all back to live. We know for sure that in his priority list there wasn't any "reviving Toshiro's party members first". He was going to make sure all his party, all his friends, were alive before even thinking of resurrecting other people if he still had the magic.

Those three panels they didn't animate are something that was there for a reason. To give depth to Holm. This last episode is definitely the one in wich he shines the most. He isn't the main character at all this episode, but he does the most important stuff on the background. He revives them all. This all lack of something if you don't show what Kuy drew on those panels.

Here he just... goes to work. He says: "lemme handle it" and he does. No concern, no worry, no, nothing. He just does. No thoughts.

It makes me sad. Those panels were important. :(

[nariism]

come out and haunt me

pair. itoshi sae x ghost!reader

content: fluff, angst/comfort with a happy ending, reader is a ghost, platonic + romantic interactions, strangers to friends (to more?), slight pining

synopsis. sae is 13 years old when he moves to madrid. his temporary apartment is old and cheap, and worst of all it's haunted. but he finds your company better than nothing, even if you do tend to knock all of his belongings over.

wc. 5.7k

You are dead.

As it comes to all mortal humans, you have died. You can't remember when, or how, or why— only that it is your duty to haunt this home, that you are abysmally cold, and that you are dead.

You don't know if you had any last words, what it was like to draw a breath, or how to stop feeling so cold. Cradling yourself somehow makes it worse. But you are dead, so what does it matter if you can't remember?

If you had aspirations and meaning in life, then you suppose you should try to find them in death, too. So you float around empty halls, deliberately bump into things just for the fun of it, and pretend that you aren't dead. It is purposeful enough.

There's a boy who lives with you.

You are dead, and he is alive, yet he seems completely unbothered by your loud, obnoxious presence.

Sae feels more dead than alive.

He is 13 years old when he moves into his temporary home in Madrid. It's old and worn. It is all his parents could afford with Yen in a foreign country.

His new home is despairingly lonely. It makes the heart in his chest sink into the pit of his stomach. He misses Rin. His parents. Japan.

He should be thankful. He doesn't mean to be a brat. But the small apartment is cramped and cold and smells like mildew. He's allergic to something in the walls. His light buzzes horribly when it turns on.

And, well. The place is haunted.

You are a ghost haunting an old, rickety apartment in Madrid.

You've never seen your reflection in the mirror, but you're pretty sure you look scary. There has been others before him— a young couple with a dog; a retired carpenter; a businessman complaining about how shitty work is over the phone. Each and every one of them have left you the same way: screaming, crying, colour drained from their faces and packing their suitcase before you could even say hello.

It's a little lonely, being a ghost. Sometimes you wish you came off a little friendlier. You have no ill intent, you're just bored. Bored and lonely and wishing to know why everyone thinks you're so terrifying.

The boy who lives with you is the first. He's the first to look you dead in the eyes and shrug you off. He's the first to fall asleep knowing your presence is watching. He's the first to leave out a bowl of warm, steaming rice for you even though he seems to know you can't physically eat it.

His company is silent, as is yours. It's better than nothing.

Sae is 13 years and 5 months old when he tells Rin his apartment is haunted.

"A ghost? Seriously?" Rin sounds unimpressed even through the static of the phone call. Take it from the kid who watches horror movies in his spare time. Freak, Sae thinks.

"Seriously. I have a picture."

He can hear his brother pulling his phone away from his ear to look at the image he just sent. The call goes quiet for a moment, and then Rin is scoffing in the microphone again.

"Quit messing with me." The younger Itoshi sighs. "This isn't funny."

Rin is only 11. He lives at home with Mom and Dad. He's not alone right now, in a place where everyone speaks a jumbled language he can't decipher yet.

He doesn't understand that even if Sae isn't being haunted, he shouldn't crush his brother's hopes that someone, or something, is watching over him.

"I'm not," Sae deadpans.

"Yeah, okay, and what does this ghost do, then?" He still sounds skeptical.

"Mostly just knocks over my books and stuff."

From his couch, he watches you bristle in embarrassment and scurry away into the darkness of the hall.

You are some sort of untethered soul, unsure of where your actual body rests. It could be 10 meters from this apartment. It could be in Antarctica, for all you know.

Okay, well, Antarctica is a bit of a reach, but you're certain that your body is somewhere. You wonder what kind of clothes you used to wear; what kind of music you used to listen to; what kind of hairstyle you used to prefer.

You wonder if these things are anything like Sae's.

He's all you have right now. It would be nice if you had some things in common. Maybe you could be friends, if he was ever going to acknowledge you to your face instead of gossiping to his brother.

You watch him quietly from the kitchen table, waiting for your bowl of rice. You must make some kind of face when he instead places a plate of eggs in front of you.

He almost laughs, you think. He hasn't shown any sort of emotion in response to you thus far, so it's hard to tell.

"Coaches told me I have to be stricter about my diet," he says out loud. It's the first words he has ever spoken to you. It's the first words anyone has ever spoken to you.

He eats his bland eggs silently after that remark, eyeing them disdainfully.

You have that in common, at least. You miss your warm bowl of rice.

Sae thinks you are funny.

He's only ever known ghosts to be malicious, benevolent beings. Things stuck in purgatory with no way out, forced to wander the mortal plane and thus turning into baneful monsters. Watching spooky movies with Rin has ingrained this into him—  hardwired his brain into giving him goosebumps whenever you're around even though he knows you're harmless.

He has to wonder how anyone could ever find a ghost like you genuinely scary, with your avoidant eyes and that patience while you wait for breakfast.

He doesn't mind doing twice the amount of dishes. Not if it means he doesn't feel alone.

You do silly things, like shoving his belongings over when you want his attention, or sitting on the floor and blowing bone-chillingly cold air into his face when he's taking his midday nap.

He's discovered that your inconsistent corporeal interactions with the world are quite amusing.

"What's your name?" He asks one day over eggs that he's shoving around on his plate.

Silence. Of course.

"Don't have one?"

You shake your head, but really, you don't know. You can't remember.

Sae has never been the talkative type, but for some reason he just can't keep his mouth closed. Being a complete shut-in and not having anyone to talk to outside of his team would do that to him, he guesses. He's thankful that you at least don't seem to have a language barrier when he speaks Japanese.

"Should I name you?"

Your offended expression screams: What am I, a pet?

He just smiles, placing his fork down and observing you carefully. And the name he decides on dances at the tip of his tongue, sounds so sweet coming from his lips.

You can't help but think the name was meant for you, in life or in death.

You like listening to Sae talk.

He has a voice smooth as silk, so charming and boyish. He's young, you think. He told you once that you also looked rather young, and asked you how old you were when you died.

Even if you had an answer for him, it's not like you could have told him.

Sae is famous for his age, you discover one night while watching television with him. You're sitting on the floor and he's on the couch. You cause the TV to frizzle and crack with static but he doesn't shoo you away. Maybe he finds your presence more valuable than the background noise of the screen.

He's in a recording, playing what he calls "football"— light blue uniform, eyes wide with adrenaline, sweat sticking to his forehead and a proud shine in his expression. He isn't smiling by any means (you've also discovered that he rarely does), but you can tell he's happy.

"I'm going to be the greatest striker," he says from the couch. He talks about his dreams a lot, which is apparently what he used to do with Rin, but you don't mind filling in that role temporarily. "I'm going to be the best in the entire world."

You don't know anything about football, but you believe him anyways.

Sae is 14 years old when he gets his first contract payment.

This is his chance, he realizes, to move out of his shitty little apartment and into an actual livable home.

He has to consider if you'll feel lonely, if you even can feel lonely, and if you'll like hanging out with your next housemate, whoever it is that's unlucky enough to have a ghost befall them.

He's getting soft. If it were any other point in his life, Sae would have taken the chance to move out without hesitation. But you've been there for him since day one, kept him enough company — no matter how quiet — for him not to go literally insane.

You're the only thing he has in Madrid that he can come home to right now. You’re the only reason he even comes home at night instead of just sleeping in the locker rooms.

If not him, who else would feed you crappy bland eggs in the morning?

You, football, sleep. You, football, sleep. You, football, sleep. At some point, it became his routine.

"I was thinking of moving out."

Your head tilts to the side. You seem perplexed by his statement.

"Like, leaving. Leaving here."

You blink at him, head tilting the other way. There's a look in your eyes that tells him you understand. There's also a look that tells him it's not your first time being abandoned, left in this terribly lonely, smelly apartment.

"I can never tell what you're thinking," he huffs.

You're still for a moment, just staring at him as if you suddenly can't understand Japanese. But then you get up from the table, walk over to the container of dry rice that's been untouched for so long that it's gathering dust, and knock it over.

"Hey," he scolds sharply, chair screeching as he stands. "I have to clean that, you know?"

You start moving the spilled rice into place. He watches curiously as you sort dry rice into a pile. You don't know any Kanji, he isn't surprised. But you know enough to draw him a universally understood symbol.

When he peers over at the messy counter, he finds himself staring at a giant X. Stay, it means. Don't leave.

That night, when he knows you've retreated into the closet where you seemingly go to sleep, he crumples up the lease for his new place without signing and burns the paper.

It's because he needs to make you eggs tomorrow morning. Only he would know to do that.

"Do ghosts ever have dreams?"

You raise your head from the edge of the bed. You've made it a new habit to protect him in his sleep, from what he can tell. Perching yourself on the floor beside the mattress and resting there, head in your arms, making his sheets cold.

You shake your head. Of course not, he internally smacks himself. What a ridiculous notion.

He rolls himself over onto his side, looking at you from under his duvet. "So when you sleep, you don't see anything?"

Another shake of the head. He isn't sure you're understanding him. There's another pause as he peers at you, and then he sighs, eyes sliding shut.

"Do ghosts ever have dreams?" He asks again, this time emphasizing his words in a different way and hoping you'll answer him the way he wants.

Your eyes shift away for a second, as if pondering. When you look back he's surprised to see that you look... bashful?

You point at him, then at yourself, then shy away again.

You. Me. Friends.

Sae feels silly that it makes his heart ache a little— the sadness carried in your face and a loneliness so powerful he feels it rattling in his own bones.

Well, the two of you have a lot more in common than he thought. How long had you been alone? Was that really all you ever dreamed of? Having a friend?

Suddenly, his doubts about his own dreams feel immeasurably small.

He reaches out to pat your head. His hand goes through you.

Sae is 15 years old when he packs up his belongings for a flight to Japan.

"I'll be back," he promises with a small smile. You believe him. He doesn't lie to you.

You wait patiently at the door for him for two weeks, three days, and sixteen hours. When he comes home, he finds you sitting on the floor like you always do with your head in your knees and a sleepy expression on your face.

He seems colder. More withdrawn, for some reason.

"Miss me?" Sae asks, but he's not even looking at you. He makes his way over to the kitchen and dumps a cup of rice into the cooker, suitcase abandoned at the door unpacked.

You trail behind him curiously, watching him in confusion as he washes it in the sink. He pauses, finally glancing at you before reaching over and dumping a second cup of rice in.

"I stress eat. Don't tell my coach."

The words don't make much sense to you, but you nod anyways.

For the first time in months, he places a bowl of warm rice in front of you. You do as he does, say thanks for the food in your head even though you can't eat, and observe him. You both sit quietly in the dim light of the apartment, moonlight beaming through your single rickety window.

He only gets four bites in before he puts his head in his hands and sobs.

You've never seen someone cry so hard before. Usually, they only do it when they first catch a glimpse of you and flee in terror. You've never known it to be such a painful sound— like a bird singing for the sky but never finding it.

Sae sits there for a long time just crying to himself, not caring that your presence is still watching. It's not like you'd ever judge him or have the voice to speak this secret, anyways.

"Fuck—" he hiccups, wiping up his face. "—Sorry."

You look at him funny. He has no reason to apologize. He's just a kid. A 15 year old kid who needs to stress eat in the solitude of his lonely apartment right now. It makes your chest squeeze; an unfamiliar, horrible feeling that's completely new to you. You wonder if this is what all the anime he watches calls a heart.

By the time he finishes crying, his rice is cold. And when he looks up, his eyes widen. Your lips are trembling and you look like you want to shout at him, but you can't. You are dead. You're a ghost. You can't yell some sense into him, even if you tried.

In the pale moonlight shining into the room, he can see tears illuminated on your cheeks.

Sae is 16 years old when he meets his first partner.

"They're nice," he reassures you as he slicks his bangs up with gel. You shake your head in disapproval and he rolls his eyes. You always liked his bangs down, thinks he looks better that way. "Well, I can't stay single forever."

You scowl at him and swivel on your heel to stubbornly deny his claims. He just laughs.

"You're seriously jealous?"

You shoot him a glare.

"If you really don't like them, you could always scare them away. You are a ghost, aren't you?" He reaches up to pat your head as he always does. And as always, his hand phases through you.

He turns around to fix his hair again, leaning into the mirror to see himself closer.

You're not sure if you even have human features. You can't see them in a reflection, anyways. Even if you did, you're sure they're pretty scary.

You glance at Sae in the reflection. He looks as good as ever, no longer a scrawny little 13 year old kid who eats rice for breakfast every morning. You wonder if his partner is pretty like he is.

He must notice the chill in the air grow ten times colder— a telling sign that your mood is dropping. He turns around to see what has happened, only to find you sulking.

"What?"

You pout, gesturing to the mirror. He looks to the vanity, then to you, and he shakes his head with an exasperated smile.

"I was wondering when you'd ask," he says as if this was a conversation he's been waiting for. And then he talks. Talks more than you've heard in a long time— since he came home from Japan, probably.

He's gotten meaner over the years. He was always a rude little kid, but being pushed around in football must have given him thicker skin and a sharper tongue. You've never known him to be a saint of a human, someone who speaks so eloquently in their descriptions. But here he is now, defying your every expectation like he always does.

He tells you what colour your hair is. Compares the shape of your head to a fruit you can't recall an image of. Gives you a detailed explanation of all your flaws and marks and why he thinks they're so perfect because it proves that you were indeed alive and human at some point.

"You're beautiful," he concludes casually, as if he's not turning the entire world on its head right now.

Silence fills the room as he waits for your response. You don't do anything but gawk at him, and he chuckles.

He doesn't show up to his date that night.

"Your hair got longer," Sae points out one day while he's scrolling through his phone.

Your eyes flutter open from where your head rests on the coffee table. You hadn't even noticed. Can ghosts grow? 

"You know, I used to think you'd stay the same forever, but you've been growing up with me. It's cute."

Have you? Is it cute? Are you seriously so tethered to him that you've been unconsciously changing to match him?

Sae puts his phone down at your confusion. "Should I give you a birthday if you're going to grow up?"

You don't know what a birthday is. When he tries to explain it, you're even more perplexed. Ghosts don't have birthdays. They have... deathdays.

He puts a cake in front of you anyways and lets you blow out the candles.

Sae is 17 years old when he gets the eviction notice.

Four years. Four long, hard, unbelievably painful years later, and he's finally being kicked out of his house.

13 year old Sae would have celebrated. All he feels now is despair.

He doesn't tell you. He can't. How can he explain that he won't wake up every morning at 6am sharp to make you eggs? That you won't have someone around who will tell you every little thing that's changed about you from the last day? That you won't be able to doodle him little incomprehensible blobs with dry rice anymore?

He shouldn't care so much. You're not chained to this Earth. You might just disappear once he leaves, inperceptable to anyone else. The thought makes him so sick that he throws up that night. He tells you he ate some bad food.

Sae doesn't want you to feel sad or lonely, but it's not like he can just become a squatter in this place. His dream is to play football, not be thrown into jail.

You wake up one morning, and he's gone.

There isn't a note. There isn't an explanation anywhere to be found. There isn't even a trace of evidence that Itoshi Sae ever lived here.

Well, except for the plate of eggs and bowl of rice sitting on the stove.

You thought you would have been used to being alone by now. For some time, you were used to it. But that was many years ago.

You're not sure how long you've been haunting this apartment in Madrid, nor do you know how much time passes after Sae leaves. The world seems to come to a halt, actually. Without him, what fun is being a ghost?

Now you're just a lost soul like all the others. There isn't anything special about you. You're just the ghost that used to haunt Itoshi Sae and wake him up from his naps.

For the first time in years, you only know one thing. A singular fact that keeps you bound to this world: it's your duty to haunt this home. There is nothing else.

No one moves in after Sae leaves. No one new comes to be haunted. No one dares to set foot into this apartment. You remember that there were moments when life flickered inside of you, if even for just a fraction of your infinite time. The reason for that has abandoned you without explanation.

There's a knock on the door one day. You can't open it, and the person outside doesn't bother sticking around to see you phasing through the door to look around.

There's a birthday cake on the floor with candles that say '19' sticking out of it.

Only one human in the entire world would have deemed today to be your 19th birthday. He's nowhere to be seen.

He moves back to Japan on his 21st birthday. Sae is having trouble remembering what you look like, despite seeing you in his dreams every night.

It's a terrible realization. So terrible that it makes him sob into his pillow at night when no one in the world is awake to hear his anguish.

Japan is lonelier than Madrid. He never thought it would happen, and he blames you entirely.

He doesn't have anyone waiting for him when he opens the door to his luxury penthouse apartment. He only washes one plate in the morning. He wakes up from his midday naps undisturbed and rested.

Sae misses you deeply. And he can't help but wonder if you feel the same.

(You don't know what the yearning ache inside of you is. You don't know what to call it.

You miss him, too. You just can't put a name to the feeling.)

He doesn't stop seeing you in wisps; little blurs in his peripheral that make his head turn fast as lightning. Wherever he looks, you're gone.

It's not fair that you're a ghost who both literally and figuratively haunts him. He'd like to move on in life and forget about those 4 miserable years he spent living in that damned apartment.

He can't. Sae is incapable of moving on from that place. The irony of it is that you actually can't move on from that place, for some reason.

He would give anything to have you haunting him again. It doesn't matter where in the world the two of you are, if you were together everything would be okay. He's impossibly lonely without you.

You start to think that you're the selfish one.

The idea of leaving this terrible apartment in Madrid scares you to your very core— whatever soul is resting in your incorporeal body. It's not fair to place the blame entirely on Sae. Not when you're too wimpy to leave this place and find him.

Death is lonely without him.

One step forward, one day at a time. It's the advice Sae used to mutter to himself while getting ready in the morning.

One step forward, one day at a time. One step forward, one day at a time. And day by day, you're slowly inching closer to the door.

Sae talks to Rin and all he can think about is your confused smiles and head tilts. He talks to his parents and all he can imagine is how cold the room would be if it were you. He talks to his fucking therapist and thinks that all of her shitty advice can't compare to your quiet understanding— that your tears of solidarity are the only thing that could make him feel better.

It's fucked up, really, that he can't move on. His body is in Japan going through the motions: playing football, being famous, being interviewed and going home to nothing. His heart is in Madrid. You took it with you and refuse to let go.

You're the closest thing to love he's ever felt, perhaps— his only friend in Spain. His only reason not to leave. A ghost from his childhood that protected him in his sleep and ate bland eggs for breakfast across the table from him every morning. A ghost that would sit on the floor and wait for him to come home every day. A ghost that kept him company when he had no one else.

He loves you. He doesn't. He needs you. He doesn't. He misses you. He doesn't. Whatever. What does it matter now?

"So playing football has always been your dream?"

Sae stares blankly at the interviewer. He's reminded of a distant conversation: he is laying in bed looking at a ghost with a lump in his throat, and then he makes his first and only friend in Spain.

"Yes."

"And now that you're back in Japan, will you be playing for the national team?"

"I have no interest in playing on such a weak team." In other words, he has no reason to stay in Japan.

"So where will you go?"

Anywhere but here, he wants to say. In reality, he doesn't know where to go anymore if not to his old apartment in Spain. He just knows that he wants to come home to your sleepy face.

(That night, he makes two bowls of rice. He cries like he's 15 years old again and just ruined his relationship with his brother.)

You've never been outside before.

You've heard about it, almost entirely from Sae but also from little snippets of anime he liked to watch. It's brighter than you imagined it to be, and warmer. You're not sure you've ever felt so warm before— it's hard to when you are a walking freezer.

There isn't anyone to tell you where to go. No one pays you any mind. You wonder if you even exist anymore outside of the small confines of that old apartment.

Something tells you that you do.

You don't know where to start looking. He could be all the way across the globe for all you know, though he did used to talk about his home country.

You have no map. You have no sense of direction. You have no one to ask for help. 

All you have is the soul caged within your ghostly body tugging in one direction, and wispy feet dragging your body along in response.

Sae is 23 years old when he finally signs the contract to play for Japan, after months of being pestered by Rin about it.

His relationship with his brother is complicated. On one hand, he feels as though Rin will never truly forgive him for what he did when he was 15. On the other, he looks so ecstatic to be playing football together again that Sae wonders if their discourse was imaginary.

Japan is just a smidge less lonely with Rin in his life.

He wants to tell you all about it. That everything worked out and it's fine now. That you can stop weeping for him and to wipe up the tears that fall into nothing.

He counts the distance between you. Fourteen thousand kilometres separate him from telling you how he's living his new dream: playing football with his little brother again.

Fourteen thousand kilometers, ten years of needing you, and a reminder set on his phone to buy you a birthday cake again this year.

His heart aches.

Japan is loud and busy and everyone is always in a hurry to get places.

You have to wonder if Sae really grew up in a city like this, and how he turned out so calm and unmovable. The street names are all in Kanji you can't read, but your soul tells you that you're going the right way, anyways.

There's a crowd gathering when your feet finally come to a halt. Lights flash and there are fancy looking people with microphones clamouring toward the center.

It's only a fraction of a second that your eyes meet, and then someone shoves him into the back of the car and they drive off.

He must be famous here, too.

Sae is 24 years old tossing and turning in his bed, wondering if you were just a figment of his imagination or if you were truly standing there under a streetlamp watching him.

It wouldn't be the first time he dreamed you into existence; on some occasions you feel so real that he nearly reaches out to attempt to pat your head, like he always used to do when he was younger.

He goes back to that spot a couple hours later. The crowd is long gone and it's the dead of night— no one would be around to witness Itoshi Sae looking psychotic.

He doesn't find you in that spot. Instead, you're two blocks down and crouched in front of the window of a 24 hour shop. There's an ad for sparklers, and though you can't read the poster itself, the picture makes you stare with wide eyes.

He crouches down beside you as if 7 years of distance never existed between you.

"Do you want one?" He asks. You look at him in a strange way and his knees grow weak beneath him. You nod.

He comes out five minutes later with a few packs in his hand, walking away from you down the street to the park. You follow him quietly as if 7 years of distance never existed between you.

Sae holds one out, flicks the lighter in his pocket open and ignites the first sparkler. You watch it in fascination, ghostly form illuminated in warm orange and yellow light.

He smiles at you as if 7 years of distance never existed between you.

When the sparkler dies out, he lights another. And another. And another, until he's gone through all the packets he could afford with the Yen in his wallet right now.

As if 7 years of distance never existed between you, he reaches out to pat your head. His hand falls through you.

You think Sae's new apartment is pretentious, but it's clean and open and doesn't smell like mildew.

It's hard to imagine what kind of purpose you had before him— all your memories are flooded with his hands and eyes and bangs and small smiles reserved for you. You think that the only reason you were ever materialized into the mortal plane was to haunt him, and only him. Itoshi Sae's permanent looming presence.

He doesn't seem to mind. In fact, you've noticed he's been smiling more lately since you started waiting for him to come home by the door.

Sae is 25 years old when you fall asleep beside him in his bed.

You don't care that he's a kicker or a blanket hog in his sleep. It's not like either of those would affect you. He watches your sleeping face carefully, waiting to see if he would ever wake up from this blissful dream and be alone again.

But every time he wakes up, there you are.

You've grown since he left you in Madrid— you don't look like some lost little kid anymore, at least. He wonders if your souls are truly so intertwined that you would change alongside him, regardless of the distance.

Your eyes flutter open and his breath catches in his throat. You blink at him slowly in the pale moonlight, brows furrowed.

You point at him. Then yourself.

You. Me.

He nods in understanding.

When he drops a plate of protein pancakes in front of you for breakfast, you look confused.

"Oh, sorry. Do you want rice?"

You shake your head. You don't care what's for breakfast, as long as you're sitting across from him while he eats it.

"I'm going to be the world's best midfielder," he tells you one day. You're on the floor and he's on the couch, and it's like time had never even passed.

You don't know what that means, but it's his dream so it must be important. The most important thing in the world.

What you don't know is that it's not his entire dream. World's best midfielder doesn't mean a thing if he can't come home to tell you all about it.

You are dead.

You're a ghost haunting Itoshi Sae— one that followed him from Madrid all the way to Japan. You don't remember how, or when, or why you died. You can't remember what your face looks like either, no matter how much Sae tries to describe it to you. 

You are dead. You're a ghost knocking over Sae's belongings to get his attention when you want it. You're the ghost curled up in bed with him even though he has to wear two layers to stay warm because of it. You're the ghost watching him rotate through different breakfasts that he says could never compare to a good old warm bowl of rice.

You are a ghost, and Itoshi Sae gave you a name. A birthday. A purpose greater than being a loud nuisance.

You are a ghost who likes to watch him light sparklers on his balcony. Who feels the things described only in the books he reads to you. Who learned to love somewhere along the way.

You are dead, and somehow alive at the same time.

(One day, Sae will be brave. One day, he will tell you he loves you. One day, he will thank you for waiting for him at the door when he comes home.)

© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.

[dark-konohagakure2]

hii i love ur work smm <33 do u think u could write an obito x younger sister reader where he still becomes evil but he watches over in the village as the years pass and notices kakashi getting too close, so he kidnaps her and reminds her who she belongs to <3 thank u

tw: incest, brother/sister, noncon, stalking, jealousy, possessiveness, semi-public sex, kidnapping, quickie, manipulation

All characters depicted are 18+

Obito still possesses a deep resentment for the Hidden Leaf Village, and just reality itself, but there are two things that keep Obito spying on the village; Rin's grave, and his younger sister. Obito still has some semblance of love and protectiveness towards his sister, even if she is all grown up now and able to be on her own, Obito just wants to make sure that she's alive and well, as long as she isn't getting involved with the wrong crowd that is.

He's checking up on her one day when Obito gets his worst fears confirmed, his sister has fallen in with the wrong crowd, the worst crowd possible; Kakashi. Obito is enraged, wondering why she would involve herself with Kakashi of all people, she knows damn well that Kakashi was (and still is) his biggest rival, so why would she be getting so friendly with him?

The Uchiha can only reach the conclusion that she's either malicious, getting involved with Kakashi just to spite her dead brother, or she's forgotten about him, about her own brother, the one whose supposed to be the most important man in her life, and Obito just won't let that slide. He's going to make sure his sister learns two thing: that he's still alive and kicking, and that she belongs to him entirely.

He'll snatch her up the very second she's alone and vulnerable, didn't he ever tell her not to walk alone at night? He's disappointed in his dear sister's carelessness. She has no clue who this mysterious masked man grabbing her is, and it takes her a moment to realize who he is even after he removes the mask due to his scarring, but when she realizes that it's her presumed dead older brother, she looked horrified, especially since Obito looks pissed.

"I can't fucking believe you! I leave for a few years and you decide to jump ship to Kakashi of all people?! I think its time to show you who your real big brother is!"

He'll start dragging her away with the intention of taking her to his hideout, but she's struggling and screaming her empty little head off, she's being much too loud and annoying for Obito's liking. He'll take a little detour, one that will shut her up nice and quick. He'll shove her against a nearby tree, covering her mouth with one hand and holding her wrists with the other. He'll hiss at her one last time to keep her mouth shut before he begins to undo his pants.

Obito is normally very gentle with his sister, seeing her as delicate and helpless, but his judgement and rationale is greatly clouded by his anger at the moment, so he'll be anything but gentle as he rips off her panties and forces his cock into her without any preparation or consent. He might apologize to her later, and she has to forgive him, they're family after all.

Normally hearing his sister scream and cry would make Obito upset, even if it is muffled by his hand, but Obito has become nothing but normal since his supposed death, and instead of being saddened by the sight of his sister in pain because of him, it turns him on, his decency and morality seems to have died along with his old self.

He's in a bit of a rush, so Obito will dump his load into her pussy rather quickly, consequences be damned. He'll make a half hearted attempt at apologizing to her as his spent cock slides out of her cunt, but it's clear he doesn't exactly mean it, he just doesn't want her to completely hate him, but he'd be fine with her fearing him, it makes her more obedient that way.

"Don't be like that, this is just a punishment for your bad behavior. Now stop whining already, let's go home so I can make you feel better, like I used to..."

Of course when he says "home" he means his dark and dank cave he calls a hideout, but he can make it comfortable for her, if she's good. If she's an extra good girl, then he might even give her the privilege of having her own bed instead of being forced to share his.

[cool-thymus]

i saw your post on the ninken smelling obito, and also the post on the ninken being on the rin mission, and now i am thinking. au where... we combine those facts.

Ninken: boss, boss! girl-teammate is this way, but goggles-teammate is that way!!!

Kakashi: WHAT.

And Kakashi's brain short-circuited!

That would be such a curious plot bunny to chase! I do realize that teen Kakashi was already a perfect shinobi able to think fast and act efficiently in any situation on the battlefield, but even so... if the ninken mentioned Obito in "yeah he is totally alive" way, Kakashi would momentarily stop functioning. Adult Kakashi had a panic attack mid-battle when he saw Obito (although the impact of the reveal was doubled if not tripled by Obito's "i'm a villain now" attitude). Kid Kakashi is still going through the loss, and his shared-trauma buddy was kidnapped, and he couldn't prevent it from happening yet again. I can see many ways this situation could unfold: Kakashi might go find Obito first and then unite forces and save Rin together (reliving the same horror scenario yet again); he could send ninken to investigate bc wdym it's Obito! go find the source, it can't be him!; he could think he'd been trapped in a genjutsu and his dogs aren't real; or he might just simply freeze.

If it's the last one, it'd be a perfect moment for Pakkun and older dogs to act as Kakashi's guardians and get him through his episode and help him make cohesive decisions. He shouldn't ve been alone out there. He is still a small child with so much pain, fear, and grief trapped underneath his composure that he was bound to break.

[sky-casino]

this love - teenage dad!itoshi sae x fem!reader

pairing: itoshi sae x fem!reader

genre: teenage dad!sae au, fluff, angst, tiny smut

wc: 4,600+

a/n: i started writing this last May, when i was having relentless teenage dad!sae thoughts lol. sae might be OOC in some parts. but honestly, i don't think he's a bad person and i believe that he will mature as he grows old, which is reflected in this story through his character development.

hope you enjoy and feedback/likes/reblogs will be greatly appreciated!

"this love is good this love is bad this love is alive back from the dead these hands had to let it go free and this love came back to me"

you and sae were childhood friends, living close to each other as neighbors for as long as you could remember. you also grew even closer to the entire itoshi family because you lost your parents in a car accident as a kid. and with your parents and sae's parents being family friends, they took care of you as your legal guardians since your parents' deaths.

during your first year in high school, he asked if you could be the soccer team's manager since you were smart, analytical, and organized. you agreed eagerly, excited to be up close to his and rin's exhilarating games that you've always loved.

eventually, the team's captain started making quite aggressive moves on you in secret. and you were getting more and more uncomfortable and afraid. until sae saved you one evening after practice and the both of you reported the captain, resulting to his expulsion.

after he walked you home that night, he made sure that you were feeling better before you parted ways. you were crying not only because the captain scared you, but also because of sae's kindness. you couldn't even imagine what would have happened if sae didn't come to save you.

the fall into sae started getting faster because of that incident. you've always had an inkling that you loved sae ever since you were both young. but you shrugged it off all this time, afraid that acting on it would ruin the friendship.

so you were astounded when sae confessed to you a month after the incident. he said that rin and his friends were so amazed by his courage when he saved you, so they relentlessly encouraged him to finally confess. they believed that if there's one man for you in this world, it's sae, your knight in shining armor, or cleats to be more precise.

after he poured out his feelings, you did the same. and the two of you got together rather pretty quickly, much to the delight of your family and friends.

to be honest, nothing much changed with your daily routine: he still picked you up in the morning so you could walk together to school, eating lunch together, he practices with the club after classes as you watch and take notes as the manager, walking home side-by-side after school. it's mostly the same, except for the hand-holding, the quick kisses, his thumb caressing the back of your hand as you walk together slowly, intending to savor each moment.

but of all the things or changes that happened as a result of being sae's girlfriend, your favorite one takes place every saturday morning. sae goes for a run at 5:30am and at around 7:00am, he quietly enters your home with the key you gave him. he takes a quick shower and gets some clothes from the pile he brought to your home days after becoming official. after he dresses up, he slowly snuggles next to you in bed and spoons you. given how much of a deep sleeper you were, you don't notice him right away until your nose picks up the insane combination of his body wash and shampoo. you're still sleepy but you can't help but turn around and hug him back, basking in his warmth and godly scent. then you two spend a chill and quiet weekend together. cooking, watching shows or movies, napping, and sae even helps you clean your house.

you were very happy together. even though he had to leave after getting scouted by Spain, you were happy and excited for him. but also sad of course because you were gonna miss him for sure. however, you did your best to hide that because if sae aimed to be the best striker in the world, you wanted to be the most supportive girlfriend in the world. you believed that that's what he deserves.

you both managed to do long-distance relationship until he had to return home to renew his passport.

he surprised you and his family, not telling any of you that he's coming home.

you were delighted to see him and spend time with him again.

he was still the same sae you knew, mostly. however, the more you were with him, the more you noticed that something's quite different about him. you didn't think much about it at first because he was still so loving, sweet, and touchy with you. but to others... he has now become rude and disrespectful. he always brought you along to his interviews and other scheduled stuff, and you felt shocked and disappointed by his words, by his answers to the press, and the way he carried himself.

afraid to get into a fight after yearning for his presence but also wanting to say something, you opted to gently reprimand him. sae said yes to your remarks but nothing really changed, which saddened you. the old sae always listened and obliged to you.

eventually, you witnessed his confrontation with rin, whom you have treated as your own younger brother. you were angry and devastated by sae's words to his sibling. you witnessed it from a far and you were on your way to them but your classmates started calling out to you for a project that you had to do together at someone's house, so you had no choice but to leave.

that night, after you left your groupmate's house, you went straight to the itoshi residence. you were fed up with sae and this new person he has become, and his fight with rin was the last straw. the sae you knew would never hurt and speak to his brother like that.

you went to sae's room and said your piece. sae denied to take responsibility for the change he went through, dismissing everything you said with "i'm just being honest. what can I do if I feel that way?"

you couldn't believe that instead of feeling remorsefuland apologizing, sae was being dismissive and even accused you of overreacting, which resulted to you feeling that he's gaslighting you.

you felt completely heartbroken, trembling as you cried. it's like you just got stabbed, and then the knife just keeps turning and turning very slowly. you felt that you had no choice but to break it off with him. his eyes widened and he quickly stopped you from removing the couple ring he gave you to commemorate your first month together. he begged you to stay but at the same time, he still didn't want to take accountability.

you removed the ring and walked out. you even thanked his parents for everything and apologized before leaving.

one night some weeks later, you heard a knock on your door and found sae there with his suitcase. it was a bit surprising to see him, but a part of you expected it. his flight back to Spain is in a few hours and you considered the possibility that despite the messy breakup, he would want to at least say goodbye to you personally. either to just bid farewell, or try to win you back.

you let him in and it was awkward, tension thick as hell in the air. he slowly closed the distance between you and seeing the familiar look in his eyes, you knew what he wanted.

after a short internal battle, you obliged and the two of you made love. sae thought that you've forgiven him and accepted the new him, happy to be back together again. but you clarified everything with a curt, "this is the last time." and with that, sae got his heart broken again. he tried to plead again just like before, but you retorted desperately, "don't make this harder than it already is, please. we're just having the same argument again and again. and it's clear that none of us is gonna let up. i'm tired, sae." and with that, he stared at you for a while with a look of shock, frustration, and pain. he quietly put on his clothes and dragged his suitcase. "goodbye, y/n." he mutters before opening your front door.

a couple of months later, you started having suspicions and went to the doctor. she confirmed that your hunch was correct, you are pregnant.

on your way home after the appointment, you did your best to keep yourself from trembling and crying. you also recalled what happened that night with sae.

sae has always come inside you, always, as the both of you were confident in the pills' effectiveness (and it just feels so much better that way). and so that night, he asked if he could come inside you like usual. you knew that you haven't been taking pills since your breakup with him, but you decided to just buy pills the morning after so you responded to him with a, "yes, you can" because the honest-to-god truth was that you just wanted to feel his warm liquid gush inside you one last time. however, you woke up very late as you didn't hear your alarm. you took your bicycle to rush to the nearby store to buy the pills and took them on the spot after you got out of the store. you had a feeling that it would be ineffective given that it's already past the timeframe, but you were still hoping.

back to the present, you kept reprimanding and blaming yourself over and over again, until you realized that you unconsciously brought yourself to the itoshi residence, which was quite near your own home.

you were about to continue walking home until rin, who was doing his daily jog routine, called out to you. he ran to you and was surprised to see your pale face and how hard you were trembling. he invited you inside their home urgently, but you asked first if his parents are there because you're not yet ready to face them and tell the truth.

rin assured you and said that his mom and dad will come home late. you obliged and went inside to drink some water and rest.

the news of your pregnancy was weighing on you so heavily that you were struggling to breathe. because of this struggle and the panic you've been enduring, you decided to tell rin the truth. he was dumbstruck and speechless as you finally cried.

you poured out all your worries: how would his parents react? how would sae react? would he accept the baby despite the breakup or ask you to get an abortion? how about your studies? your future?

rin suggested for you to tell his parents as soon as possible, as he was certain that they would support and take care of you and the baby. his words brought a sense of relief and you suddenly felt sleepy and exhausted from all the stress. he told you to get some good sleep, and you headed to sae's room because you realized how much you miss him.

you woke up later in the night and sae's parents were in the living room, relaxing after a tiring day of socializing with friends. they happily greeted you, saying that they're happy that you still visit them despite parting ways with their firstborn son.

rin who was sitting on the couch across his parents gave you a knowing yet assuring look, trying to make you remember his suggestion earlier.

you took a deep breath and apologized to them for the sudden news you were about to share. you emphasized your intent to keep the baby, regardless of what they or sae want.

to your surprise, they were happy to hear that they were about to have their first grandchild. sae's mom was even crying tears of joy. his dad said that you and the baby should live in their house and that you don't need to worry about money. they also suggested for you to delay entering college and focus on the pregnancy first. that would be better than entering college and then having to take a break once your tummy grows and labor is coming closer. this way, your entrance will be delayed but  you will have an overall smooth college experience without interruption and judgment from others.

just like his mom, you were also shedding tears of joy now as you hear their reassuring words of support. you're lucky to have them as unofficial in-laws.

the next nine months were surreal. you were happy and grateful for all the support from the itoshi family and from your friends. but missing sae and fearing his reaction were constant part of your days, sometimes even causing you to burst in tears.

you asked your friends to absolutely keep the entire ordeal a secret from sae as you intended to tell him yourself at the right time. as much as you hated the fact that he had changed for the worse, you still wanted to support him in his sports career. him suddenly knowing that you're pregnant might derail his focus and entire career. or it might cause a new fight between the two of you. both of those possible scenarios would not be good for anyone.

three years later, sae came home for the first time since the breakup. he's not the type to make a fuss out of his arrival, so he simply arrived home.

his parents were astonished and reprimanded him for not notifying them in advance, but he nonchalantly replied that it's no big deal. he was embarrassed to show it, but he really missed his parents. his contract with Royale Youth mandated him to play for three years uninterrupted, so he couldn't come home until now.

you could hear them outside your and your son's room and you were practically frozen. you had no choice now but to tell sae everything.

they were near your door when his parents slowly told him—for a lack of better word—that they have a surprise for him in the guest room.

you held your son—who by the way is a carbon copy of sae—as the parents slowly opened the door.

before sae could react, your son ran to his grandparents as he squealed, "granma! granpa!"

your heart was palpitating so hard as you watched sae watch your son with wide eyes. you've never seen him this shocked before. he's literally staring at his mini version.

after your son hugged his grandparents, he noticed sae standing tall before him, unmoving and with wide eyes and furrowed brows. your little boy got scared and ran to you yelping, "mama!".

you carried him onto your lap, comforting him as you finally told the truth, "don't worry, sweetie. no need to be afraid... he's your dad."

you were looking at sae rather nervously but also with mild confidence as you said those words.

you didn't know how he would react beyond his confusion, but you were surprised to see tears fall from his eyes and a smile form on his face as he crouched down to be closer to your little boy, who has calmed down a bit now. sae's parents were also crying as they watch their son and his mini-me finally meet.

sae gently opened his arms to invite his son for a hug, and you also encouraged him to go to his dad. your son was obedient as usual, so he quickly ran to his dad to hug him.

as they embraced, sae looked at you and whispered with an amused smile, "we have a son?". you nodded in reply and finally cried too as you could no longer hold back the tears.

"what's your name?" sae asked.

"seikou!" the little boy answered with excitement as he learned to say his name properly just recently.

that night, you and sae put seikou to bed and had a long conversation afterwards in sae's room. it was getting late and you were sitting on sae's bed while he was on his couch.

"so... how have you been?" sae asked cautiously but with a hint of excitement as he finally gets to talk to you again after a long time.

"i'm doing well, i believe? i postponed starting university for a year, but besides that, there hasn't been any issues at school. i will be graduating next year, as expected. your parents have been a great support... they take care of seikou whenever i couldn't. rin has been a good and cool uncle as well." you let our a chuckle as you recall rin playing robots and soccer with your son.

"that's... that's good to hear."

"how about you?" it was your turn to ask, and yet sae seemed to be surprised when he heard you.

"i'm... good. haven't been back here for years, so... it's a bit jarring, but it feels good."

you smiled at him in response, not knowing what else to say.

awkward silence. tension heavy. air thick.

"why didn't you tell me?" sae finally asked the important question, finally addressed the elephant in the room. he sounded like he was suppressing his desperation for your answer.

"i'm sorry, sae. but you know our breakup was bad... it was painful. we didn't really end things on a good note, remember? i was extremely scared when i found out. all i could think of was you, and how you would react. i considered calling you but i wasn't sure if you would even answer. i was afraid that we would just end up fighting again, that i would hear you say the words, 'abort it.', and i knew that would break me even more." you rambled on, ending up in tears. you realized how much you've been holding these words like a burden.

"baby, why would you think that i would want you to abort our child?" sae asks in a demanding tone, quickly kneeling before you and holding your arms gently but firmly.

"i don't know, sae! you were a different person already. damaging your relationship with your family, with me, all because of soccer? i reached out to you several times back then to tell me what happened in Spain that made you change, but you disregarded me. i just felt like i couldn't trust you anymore. that's why i kept it a secret back then. but i was planning all along to tell you, i was just waiting for the right opportunity and time." you explained, not able to look him in the eye.

"alright, i understand. sorry, i'm not mad, okay? i just... wanted to know why." he loosened his grip on you and rubbed your arms soothingly.

"it's okay. i knew you'd have many questions, and rightfully so." you whispered.

it pained sae that you couldn't look him in the eye, all he could do at the moment was gently touch his forehead with yours as the two of you breathed in sync to calm down as he continued to hold your arms. it was extremely quiet, the only thing you could hear was the clock ticking, sae breathing, and his heart beating.

you stayed like that for a minute, until—

"let's start over." sae states firmly.

"what?" you asked in a whisper, breaking the forehead touch, not believing what you just heard.

"let's start over." sae repeats patiently, in a slower and gentler tone, as gentle as his smile. the smile you fell in love with and the last time you saw it has been ages ago.

you were speechless.

"let's start over, with our son."

you finally let your dam of tears break, hiding your face in your hands.

"y/n, listen to me. i have a plan, an actual plan." sae said as he freed your face from your hands. he delivered the latter part of his sentence while laughing, as he knew how much you loved concrete, actionable plans.

"my contract with Royale Youth has expired and they're currently writing up a new one back in Spain. i was supposed to ask my legal team to review it so i can sign it for renewal before flying here, but there were some delays and Royale Youth hasn't submitted the contract yet. but i didn't want to wait for it anymore and so my original plan was to just renew it when i go back there three months from now. but since i learned about our little family, i've been thinking about... not renewing anymore. i... don't want to go back there anymore. i want to live here and be a proper family with you, our baby, my parents, and rin."

sae shared his plan quite quickly, but you were able to understand everything.

"are you sure? but how about your career?"

"i'll join a team here. i've been getting relentless offers from local teams all this time." he said with a smile.

"but you don't like playing for a Japanese team, right?"

"that's not important. i learned today that i'm a dad, do you think anything else is as important? what matters is that the three of us are together." sae says rather enthusiastically, until his smile faded away as he bit his lip, something he does when he's embarrassed.

"and you know... i've been secretly watching rin's soccer career, so i'm also inadvertently updated on the state of Japanese soccer. it's not so... bad after all? at least compared to before." he admitted hesitantly.

wow. you thought. sae really has changed. or more like, he's back to his old self, the version of him that you knew and loved. he wouldn't admit it yet, but he also wants to play with his brother, and the right opportunity has come.

"that's so good to hear, sae. you just made me extremely happy." you tell him with tears of joy as you lightly squish his cheeks, just like how you did before.

"this might be embarrassing but fuck it i'm gonna say it anyway."

"hmm? what is it?"

"before coming here, i told myself that i had two options: when i arrive and you're happily with someone else, then i'll finally let you go and move on. but if you're single, i'll try one more time for the last time, and if you still say no, then i'll finally give up. it was some sort of ultimatum i imposed on myself." he chuckles as he looks away in embarrassment.

"aww, sae-"

"but today, i found out that we have a child together and honestly, i couldn't ask for anything better. this is it, y/n. this is our sign to start over and try again." his voice is full of hope, and you wanted to give that to him.

"okay... okay, sae. let's try this again." you tell him before the two of you kiss with so much longing, as if both of you were trying to make up for lost time.

sae went through with his plan and after discussions and signing of documents, he is now scheduled to debut in rin's team. their dream of being the best duo will finally come to fruition.

while sae was busy with his own affairs, you were focused on finishing university.

fortunately, you and sae seem like proper parents now as you both help each other with childcare. sae brings seikou to the daycare in the morning thrice a week, sometimes he even watches him secretly as he learns new things from the teacher and plays with his friends. sae picks him up in the afternoon and the two of them go to your university to pick you up as well. the three of you enjoy bonding time by eating ice cream and strolling around in the park.

sometime during the start of your last year in college, sae proposed to you. you said yes (duh) and he told you that he wants to get married soon after you graduate. he excitedly albeit shyly told you that he wants to be an official family as soon as possible because he wants to grow said family. you thought he was joking but he was serious when he said he wants a daughter.

just a few months after your graduation, in a small but beautiful wedding with only close friends and family, you married your childhood friend, your best friend. the whole experience was so surreal and you kept thinking to yourself that you and sae withstood not only the distance of living in two different countries, the messy breakup, the sudden pregnancy that he belatedly knew about, but also the test of time. you realized once more that sae is your person, and that you are his, because you grew up together since you were toddlers and now have your own, and because you are now Mrs. Itoshi Sae. it's something you dreamed of for years but at one point had to let go of, but ultimately still ended up becoming a reality.

juggling motherhood and university exhausted you, and so after your wedding and sae's relentless encouragement, you decided to rest for 1-2 years after your graduation. and it was the perfect time for you to try having a second baby, a daughter, as sae wanted.

your first child, seikou, is five years old by the time your newborn daughter, shiori, arrived. and seikou was so delighted to finally hold his little sister.

while you and sae watch your kids, you giggle as you told sae, "she looks like me, but she got your colors. teal eyes and mauve hair." and sae couldn't help but give a proud smile.

a few years later, sae is (still) the top soccer player in Japan (and is also still quite rude to the media lol. you gently reprimanded him but he said this is the best he can do and you just accepted it lol). and you mostly work from your home studio as a children's book writer. seikou is now 10 years old and is following his father's footsteps, and shiori just said that she wanted to be a singer. but you expect to hear a new dream from her in the following days because lately, she wants to be everything. except to be a soccer player, she said she doesn't want that because she hates sweating and being under the sun.

you're both amused and worried whenever you see how much sae spoils your daughter. you kinda expected this because he's the one who requested a daughter years ago, but shiori thinks she's a literal princess because sae says that she is and treats her like one. you remind sae from time to time to tone it down because you don't want your daughter to be a spoiled brat.

"i spoil her so much because i see her as like, the symbol of our new beginning, you know? we had her after we reconciled and reunited, after you agreed to give me a second chance, so she's very special to me, y/n."

"i know, i feel the same way. but the other day she's yelling at her friends to call her 'princess'. she's starting to demand others and that's not good, sae. we should correct it as early as now. okay?"

sae was surprised to hear about that incident and realized that yes, he's gone overboard as a doting dad.

"yes, y/n. i'm sorry, i'll tone it down." he says with an embarrassed smile and you walked over to hug him.

"why are you laughing?" he asks as he rubs your back.

"nothing, i just never thought you'll be the doting dad type."

"ugh. stop it, y/n. you're embarrassing me." he says as he hides his face in the crook of your neck, and you could feel his face burning with embarrassment.

[hanmaitani]

Pretty Neighbor

PAIRING - Kita Shinsuke x Reader WC - 5.6K GENRE - Slight angst (not with Kita) CW - copious amount of lead up, shitty breakup with an unnamed ex, Suna is an instigative little shit, a creepy neighbor, brief mention of minor injury SYNOPSIS - This wasn't how it was supposed to go. You weren't supposed to feel stuck after a bad breakup, crashing in the spare room of your best friend's older brother. But one of his neighbors starts to make you feel a little alive again. Leadup to part two.

A/N: if you wonder how I envisioned this apartment setup

PART 2

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. How anything was supposed to be.

Tomorrow you were supposed to be moving in with the boy you thought you would be spending the rest of your life with. But one week ago, he had decided that you were never going to work out.

He decided; on his own.

He had places to go. You? You weren’t sure yet.

So here you were, sitting on the floor of what had been both of your house, now empty spare the last of both of your stuff, calling the one friend you thought might be able to help.

“Thanks for calling, please don’t. Send a text. What are we? 80?”

You rolled your eyes and waited for the tone indicating that you could leave your message.

“Sunarin, come on. I know you hate calling when it could be a text. You know I know that. You know I don’t call unless its something that shouldn’t be texted.” You sighed softly, trying to keep the tears out of your voice. You took another shaky breath in, “Could you just call—”

Your phone vibrated in your hand and you glanced at the screen, “thank you.” You tapped quickly on the notification reading ‘accept and hang up’ and pressed the phone back to your ear.

“What d’ya want?” His voice was muffled and you could tell that his mouth was full of something.

You sniffed lightly, “He left me, Rin.” You were met with mostly silence but you could hear the sound of wood dropping against wood. Him putting down his chopsticks.

“The fuck do you mean he left you?” His voice was clear now, it was clear his attention was now fully on you. “For the weekend? The night?” The only thing filling the silence was your sniffles for a moment. He said your name softly to get your attention back.

You could feel the tears fill your eyes slightly. “For good," you finally answered. "That’s what he said. I think it was the truth.” You heard a sigh from the other end of the line, followed by a series of angry grumbles. “Can I crash on your couch until I get back on my feet?”

“Idiot.” He mumbled, you could almost see him rolling his eyes at you. “Why are you even asking? Fuck the couch, you can crash in the second bedroom, lucked out and don’t have a roommate. It’s yours for as long as you need.”

“I won’t be there long, I promise.” You muttered, trying to keep the sound of crying out of your voice, knowing you wouldn’t hear the end of it if he could hear it. “I swear I’m putting in housing applications and I’ll—”

“You’re annoying, shutup.” You felt a small smile tug at your lips, he wouldn’t change, at least that was comforting. “Come pick up your key in like," he paused for a second and you could almost picture him leaning to stare at his kitchen clock, "an hour?”

You nodded before realizing that he couldn’t see you. Before you could correct yourself, and verbalize your agreement he spoke again, “you do know I can’t see you nodding, right?”

You let out a soft laugh. “Hey, but you caught on, right?” You heard a snort from the other line before you both fell quiet for a moment.

“Do you want me to kick his ass?”

You sighed and your voice cracked. “I just need a place to crash.”

The next day and a half consisted of you trying to convince Suna to let you just put your mattress in the spare room, nothing else, just a few boxes and a mattress on the floor. And him promptly and continuously convincing you to put more in. More and more until eventually it almost looked like you lived there.

You tried to leave almost no trace of yourself in the rest of the apartment, plants on the front doorstep, a pair of slippers by the front walkway, the only clues that you were there outside of your room.

Your room had filled up a little, a shelf holding a tv, a drawer nightstand, a closet half full. You’d tucked away your bathroom things into a corner shelf and some food and dishes into a drawer. Not even 10% of your things from a whole house fit into a small room.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Laying on your back on the carpet of the living room of an apartment that wasn’t yours as Suna cooked both of you dinner in the kitchen.

“You have to eat, what do you want?” Suna's voice floated to you from around the corner in the kitchen.

“Ice cream.”

“That’s not food.” He called back. You rolled your eyes and glanced towards the kitchen. You could see his shadow moving across the dining room as he tried to dig in his fridge for food to make the two of you.

“How do we feel about pasta tonight? Got this recipe that Osamu sent over that we could try.” You glared at his shadow. Pasta sounded really good and you hated that he thought of it. “Don’t act like you’re not in love with pasta, I remember from high school.”

“You don’t know me.” You grumbled like a stubborn child from your spot on the floor. You heard a scoff come from the kitchen as you propped yourself up to a sitting position.

“Sure, you only spent, what? 90% of your time at my house with my little sister. But I don’t know you.” You rolled your eyes at him again even though you knew he couldn’t see you. “Go get more of your stuff from your car, bum, I’ll start the food.”

You sighed in annoyance but pulled yourself off the ground anyways, dragging your feet towards the door where you could slide on your slippers. “I’ll be right back, if I don’t get killed.” He barked out a laugh but ignored you as you unlocked the door and stepped out.

You sighed as you shut the door behind yourself, your steps slowing as you made your way down the stairs that led to Suna’s front door. There were a few kids running around the patch of grass that acted as the center of the small apartment complex. Their laughter and chasing made you smile as they tried to take advantage of the dimming sunlight.

Suna had told you that the tenants of his apartments were largely made up of students and recent graduates but that there were a couple families living there. Living right on the edge of the apartments meant you never had to deal with the kids running into your way or with even seeing them from your windows. Most of your windows were covered by trees anyways.

But in moments like this, when you were feeling down and walking the short distance to where your car was parked, seeing them laugh and run so freely brought you a sense of peaceful nostalgia. A longing for the days when you didn’t feel the need to have it all figured out, when you could just laugh and play and your biggest concern was if your mom would force you to eat your vegetables when you got in.

Back in the days when you weren’t aware of the other concerns you should have. When you didn’t get the rug pulled out from under you by a boy who decided randomly to drop you when you’d made him a priority and planned at least your next few years around staying with him.

You scowled as your thoughts turned sour—your nose scrunching up. You bit the inside of your cheek and huffed as you reached your car, easily pulling open the trunk to assess what you had the energy to bring up with you at this moment.

There was a backpack full of random things you’d originally missed, an extra pillow, an extra pair of sneakers—the only pair you brought actually, and a box of cookies you’d impulsively bought yourself this afternoon after 'officially' leaving the house. You huffed as you piled your things into your arms. One item at a time.

You glared at the box of cookies, taunting you from its spot on your car’s seat. You wouldn’t be able to grab it and still open the door. You’d have to come back.

You sighed as you bumped your hip against your car’s back door to close it before rounding to the back. Leaning up on your tiptoes, you reached your free arm up to curl your fingertips over the edge of the trunk door and pull it back down. Adjusting the items in your arms you started your way back to Suna’s apartment.

You hummed along to a tune stuck in your head as you walked carefully, trying to not drop anything as you trekked towards the stairs. The sound of a car door closing pulled your attention over to the parking lot. You glanced over your shoulder as you watched a man ducking to grab a bag out of his back seat.

Carefully tracking him with your eyes, you kept walking. He started to lean up and you saw the top of his head first, grayish hair coming into view. As he leaned up further you noticed the ends of his hair were a different color, black to be exact. You tilted your head. What an interesting choice.

As he started to straighten out, your ignorance caught up to you. Your toe caught on a raised piece of concrete and your eyes widened as your feet stumbled. You flipped your head back to facing forward and struggled to keep your things in your arms as you rebalanced yourself.

You cursed as you dropped one of your shoes. You glared at the shoe for a second before huffing as you bent at your knees to reach it, careful to not let anything else tumble from your arms as you replaced the shoe in the stack.

“Evenin’.” You looked up, blinking in shock as you slowly straightened up, to see the man you had just been staring at standing only a few steps from you. He looked pretty, shiny hair that the last rays of sun bounced off of, shiny brown eyes carefully watching you move. Oh. He was very pretty.

You swallowed nervously and cleared your throat. “Evenin’.” You let out a closed lipped smile and watched the corner of his lips tug in return. The weight of his eyes on you felt heavy, feeling like he witnessed your every move and quickly moved to resume your previous movements.

You took the last few steps towards the stairs and quickly scaled them. Willing the door that shared a porch with Suna’s door, just a couple feet to the right from our door, to not open so you could avoid more possible interaction.

You shifted the things in your arms and reached for the doorknob, twisting to glance back over your shoulder as you did to see the pretty stranger. Or, pretty neighbor? He seemed to have lingered where you both had been for a moment because he was only a couple of paces from it now, walking leisurely towards the stairs just to the left of Suna’s apartment. You willed yourself to look away before you got caught acting like a creep and pushed your way inside the apartment.

You sighed as your shoe tumbled back out of your arms and glared at it again. “Stop dropping stuff.” Suna teased, rounding the corner of the kitchen to see you in the front hall, slipping your slippers off. You glanced up at him, his bangs falling on either side of his face as his yellow eyes squinted at you playfully, smirk pulling on his lips. “Didja get all your stuff out?”

“Nope.” You popped the p and pulled your shoe back into your arms again. “Met a neighbor though.” You tilted your head in thought, “well, kind of. Didn’t actually get a name. Just said hi.” You hummed and shrugged your shoulders as you started towards the hall that led to the rooms. “I think I’m gonna set up a couple things while I wait for your ass to finish my food.”

He scoffed and flicked his eyes up to the ceiling in a half-assed eye roll before dipping back into the kitchen. “Now you want food. Gonna make me into a regular housewife, huh?” He laughed as he raised his voice so you could still hear him as you got further into the house. “Careful now, gonna make Mizu fall in love with ya if you convert me like that.” You snorted as you kicked your door shut behind you.

You sighed as you looked around the room, nothing was organized or put together. Your entire bedding was piled on the bed, other random things piled with it, a box of cords at the very end. Looking at the fading light, you realized that you’d forgotten your room lamp back at the house, suddenly grateful that you’d have to go back the next day to finish the cleaning.

You opened your blinds to try and let the last of the sunlight in, illuminating the room best you could as you searched for something to light up your room. Swiping your phone open, you hit play on some music you could sing along to as you went about sifting through the box of electronics. 10 minutes later and you had your TV plugged in and some fairy lights strung up around the window. Enough for now.

You wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed. To let yourself rot into the mattress. You knew there was a fat chance in hell that Suna would ever let you hide away in you room the whole time. You sighed and went to work quickly on the rest of the room, clearing the bed and making it so that you could easily crawl into it once you were done with Suna’s mandatory socialization.

“Come on, I’ve got food for you.” Suna popped his head into your room easily, watching as you zoned out staring at the bed, pillows arranged in a specific way, the way that your boy- your ex-boyfriend had always liked it.

You shook your head and followed him back out of the room, following when he motioned for you to sit on the couch and set a warm bowl in your lap. You smiled down at the bowl of pasta, your favorite sauce spread across it and laughed a little as Suna pressed a pair of chopsticks into your hand.

“Here, eat, like this-” he teasingly began to adjust your hand to try and puppet your fingers into working the chopsticks properly.

“Fuck off before I stab you with these chopsticks.” He laughed but backed up and plopped down on the couch across from you.

“So what neighbor didja meet?” He asked, shoving his mouth full of food and chewing obnoxiously. You swore he did it just to get on your nerves.

“The one whose stairs are near my window.” He hummed in acknowledgement and mumbled something through a full mouth that you didn’t quite make out. “Huh?” You screwed up your face before taking another bite.

He swallowed his mouthful before talking again. “Nothin’.” He looked at you as you shoved another bite into your mouth, a look with narrowed eyes that tracked your movements easily, a look you knew meant he was analyzing you.

“So, Mizu’s got some guy friends, I’m thinkin’ we could get you some numbers, you could pick your rebound?”

You stopped halfway through putting a bite in your mouth and stared at him in disbelief. You pulled the bite back out of your mouth and let it fall back into the bowl, an act you’d be ashamed of yourself for doing if you were in front of anyone besides him.

“You’re joking.” His silence and expecting stare made you realize he was not, in fact, joking with you. “No. Absolutely not.” You rolled your eyes and resumed eating.

“Don’t say that! It could be good for you!” He exclaimed, waving a hand around at you. You shook your head, knowing that this wouldn’t be the end of this conversation tonight, or for your entire stay.

It was late when Suna finally let you go to sleep, his chatter and constant jokes, skirting around the topic of your now ex, trying to convince you to find someone you could 'use maybe a couple times and then drop.'

You knew it was his way of making sure when you went into your room tonight that you would be going straight to sleep. That you would be too tired to cry or even think about the situation you were in. It somewhat worked.

It felt like you were waiting for everything. Waiting for an apartment application to come back or you would be stuck crashing on Rin’s couch. Waiting for the correct credentials to be posted for a new job or you would be stuck at the one you so desperately wanted to leave.

Waiting for the lost feeling to disappear or you would be stuck crying over the boy that was almost yours forever. Waiting and stuck.

Waiting and stuck.

That was how you were feeling in the morning, as you dragged yourself out of bed early. As you pulled on some workout clothes, the only ones you’d not thrown into temporary storage that you didn’t mind possibly ruining.

How you were feeling as you skipped breakfast, settling on only grabbing your water bottle, and pulled your shoes on at your door. How you felt as you trudged to the car in the cold, telling yourself that while you were working on cleaning your old house the whole day, you would thank yourself for wearing a t-shirt and shorts, even if it was frigid this morning.

That was how you felt when you nearly ran straight into a neighbor.

As you were silently cursing yourself for not looking up as you walked, the sudden stop and step back that came from both your feet as a result of a near collision. You glanced up and were met with the same warm eyes you’d seen last night. The same attractive neighbor that you had embarrassed yourself in front of, twice, now.

“Mornin’.” He gave you a kind smile as he looked down at you.

You found yourself rushing out a “mornin’” as well but dashing away before he could say anything else.

A glance over your shoulder proved that he hadn’t stayed in place for long, moving to his car, placing his bag into the same seat you’d seen him pull it out of the day before. You sighed as you got in your car, stupid cute neighbor.

Your sour mood had lifted a little with the sound of his small drawl, his accent seeping through in just a single word. His deep voice had left you with a warm feeling in your body but you chalked it up to the fact that you kept embarrassing yourself in front of him.

Shaking your head at yourself, you quickly queued up a playlist for the day and plugged in the aux. Pulling out of the parking lot easily, you started your way towards your old house.

It was the last day you were required to be there, your last day to be able to clean the place from the disaster that your roommates and now ex-boyfriend had left you alone to deal with. Your mood mostly stood on the lines of exasperated for the first couple of hours, irritation flooding your veins the more that you had to clean.

And three hours in, when it started to rain outside, you cursed yourself for the outfit decision. And then you cursed the sky for picking up on your bad mood and deciding that the weather needed to match.

Your ex graced you with his presence for a few hours - three to be precise. You counted them. Praying that he’d act slightly torn up for ditching you out of the blue like he was. That he’d show some sign of care that you weren’t going to be around to do things for him anymore, the laundry, the finances, the cleaning and grocery shopping.

And then the wave of irritation hit as you realized... what the hell had he done for you?

You’d glared daggers into his back for the majority of the time he was there. As he tried to be friendly, make jokes with you. And when he was leaving, when you still had to stay and continue cleaning, that’s when the fresh wave of sadness hit. As he hugged you, talking like he wasn’t going to see you again, giving you a kiss on the forehead, his posture dangerously close to that of when he used to dip down to kiss you.

You watched him drive away and sat on the ground for the next half hour, in the rain and crying.

When you finally pulled yourself off the ground again, going back to cleaning, you tried to let irritation seep back into your veins, an easier emotion to deal with than the flurry of others you felt. All you wanted was to get back to Rin’s and collapse.

You were at the house for a total of 13 hours that day. Not even finished by the end of it but content with the work you’d done and the effort you'd put in to try and finish. It was almost 11pm when you were dragging yourself to your car for the last time, the last of your things loaded up, fresh bruises coating your body and a couple gashes across your legs that had dirt and dried blood caked into them.

Your entire body was begging to be cleaned and go to sleep.

Suna wasn’t there when you got back. You knew that the second you pulled up. His car missing from the spot next to where you’d been parking your car.

The achy feeling quickly taking over your body was left ignored as you pulled a few of your items out of your car, choosing carefully what could wait until tomorrow. Your eyes subconsciously scanned for the cute neighbor even though you weren’t exactly expecting him to be out at this time.

You were pleasantly surprised to see him a few doors down, smiling as he helped an elderly woman carry her groceries to her apartment. You were also pleased that he didn’t seem to notice you and that you hadn’t been three for three for embarrassing yourself when you saw him.

Making sure to lock the door after yourself when you entered the empty apartment, you let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. The realization that you’d never be back in that house was weighing heavy on your shoulders, along with the grime and wounds (both physical and mental) of the day.

Nothing sounded better to you than a shower and with Rin not being home, you could take one without worrying he might need to use the bathroom while you were using it. A shower and then immediately you would go to sleep, be productive again tomorrow.

The next morning you let yourself sleep in. Well, not exactly sleep in, but let yourself stay in bed without forcing yourself to get up.

The window in your room let light filter in slowly instead of all at once, your body unaccustomed to no longer having blackout curtains hanging. The cold morning air brushed over your skin and you were reminded that you had gone to sleep clad only in a pair of shorts after your shower.

You stayed in bed for most of the day. Left to go grab a few things from your car and bring them up, put them in their places. Grabbed a snack from the kitchen. Suna being at classes and work most of the day meant no one was there to lecture you when most of your time was spent scrolling though your phone in bed.

You told yourself that you could be an adult again tomorrow.

You were; an adult the next day that is.

You pulled yourself out of bed, finished unloading your car, cleaning Suna’s spare bedroom up. And then, deciding to keep busy, kept cleaning. Did all the dishes in Suna’s sink and swept his floors, vacuumed the carpets. When you were done with that you couldn’t bring yourself to sit back in bed, as much as you wanted to. You’d settled on loading your laptop into its bag and gathering up your laundry basket to head down to the complex’s laundry mat.

You switched between watching shows off your laptop and using it to organize things for your hopeful new job as your laundry ran. Typing out to do lists and not berating yourself when you accidentally let your laundry sit in the machine a little long sometimes.

When you were finally finished and were packing up, the sun had started to pull its light from the sky. It was still plenty bright, but you could tell it was evening now. Suna would be home soon and you’d love to be there when he saw his apartment clean.

Your proud and productive mood came to an abrupt halt; a tight feeling wrapping in your chest as you neared the stairs to Suna’s apartment and there was a figure sitting on the bottom of the stairs.

It wasn’t anyone you recognized, and he’d left enough space where you could possibly squeeze by, but the sudden nerves that ran through your body were enough to keep you from even attempting to do that. Your steps slowed at the prospect of having to talk to a complete stranger wrecked your nerves and you cursed yourself when your voice came out meeker than expected.

“Excuse me, sir, if I could get by?” He’d already been looking at you before you’d spoke and you were now just a few feet away from him.

“Yeah.” Your relief at his words was fleeting as you quickly realized that, despite his affirmative, he was making no move himself out of the way.

“Sorry, I just have to get up the stairs.” The nerves wound tighter in your chest, uneasiness making you queasy as you adjusted your grip on your laundry basket.

“Go ahead.” He said, staring straight at you. It felt like a challenge and it wasn’t one you were willing to take.

“I don’t want to accidentally hit you, if you wouldn’t mind just for a moment—” you were trying to be nice, to keep your voice steady as your hands shook but he cut you off.

“Are you saying I can’t take a hit?” His volume raised slightly, he clearly looked irritated now. “I can take a hit; I’ve been hit before.” You opened your mouth to try and calm him down but someone from behind you replied for you.

“S’common cour’sy.” The voice was deep and held a threatening air to it. You jumped slightly at the suddenness of it but were steadied with a burning hand on your upper arm, making sure you didn’t get closer to the man on the stairs.

You looked up a caught a glimpse of gray and black hair - the cute neighbor. His usually kind eyes were fixed in a glare at the man in front of you both. His touch was light on your arm, gentle as he guided you to take a step back and he stepped in front of you.

“Yer only a couple complaints ‘way from getting’ kicked outta ‘ere. Watch yerself.” His deep voice was intimidating, calm, his words spoken with a matter-of-fact tone. Sure of himself. “Jus’ let the pre’y lady pass.”

Your cheeks burned at the use of ‘pretty lady’ to describe you, coming from the man you’d deemed ‘pretty neighbor.’ The burning was dull in comparison to the anxiousness you were feeling when the man from the stairs stood up, however.

“I don’t like the tone you’re asking in.”

The pretty neighbor seemed almost unphased. He stepped closer to the man, forcing him to step slightly away from the stairs. “Wasn’ askin’.” Almost unphased except for his voice coming out a little deeper than before, slightly darker tone, though still calm.

The pretty neighbor adjusted his stance, hand guiding you to stay behind him as he cleared a path to the stairs for you, now blocking the man from both you and the stairs. A small breath of relief washed over you as you quickly moved towards your now free path.

“Thank you.” You whispered it into his ear as you passed behind him, smiling as he gave you a short nod without taking his eyes from the man in front of him. You made your way up the stairs eager to escape the rising voice of the man you’d just met who was still being blocked by the pretty neighbor that you had now embarrassed yourself in front of all three times he’d seen you.

You locked the door behind you quickly, deadbolting it as well as you quickly retreated into the apartment. You dropped your laundry in your room and decided that a cup of water would probably ease the tightness in your chest that had been caused by the creepy man you’d just met.

You’d barely taken a sip when the handle to the front door started to wriggle. You stared, wide-eyed, frozen in place as fear started to take over. You swore you’d break the glass with how tight your grip had gone when the door creaked open.

“So I’m guessin’ you met the creep next door.” Suna’s voice reached your ears and you breathed out a sigh of relief, legs falling from under you as you moved to sit on the ground.

“Woah,” he held one hand up as the other shut and locked the door behind him, “he must’ve been a real weirdo today.” Suna set his bag down easily and walked over to you, crouching down in front of you with a head tilt. “What happened?”

You sighed as you looked up at him, his eyes held concern even though he seemed to radiate a relaxed demeanor. “Just wouldn’t let me pass to come up the stairs, I don’t know just was super weird.” He scoffed and shook his head. “You should’ve warned me.”

“Didn’t think I had to!” He exclaimed defensively, but helped you back to your feet carefully nonetheless. “Haven’t seen him in what feels like months, thought maybe he finally croaked.”

“Real sensitive of ya, Rin.” You rolled your eyes at him and went to take another sip of water.

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved his hand dismissively as he moved to leave the dining room where you stood and head off to his room. “Hey, y/n?” You looked up easily at the small change in his voice, softer and a little concerned.

“Just be careful ‘round him, he shares a porch with us. Make sure you’re carrying something to protect yourself if you come home late at night.” You swallowed hard at the implications but nodded in acknowledgment. He let a soft smile pass his face before he disappeared around the corner again.

The next few days around the apartments, you picked up working again. Long shifts, anything to distract yourself. You also found yourself peeking out your window, trying to catch a glimpse of the cute neighbor coming or going. You did a few times, always admiring the soft smiles he gave. He radiated a kind sort of energy while looking so put together.

He was very constant, you noticed after a few days. Leaving at the same time in the mornings, where you would briefly pass him on your way out as well, a small 'mornin’' passed between the two of you as you noticed each other. Always coming home just before dark, pulling his bag out of the same spot in his car. And the sun always left a ridiculously attractive shine on his gray and black hair.

You found yourself thinking about him every time Suna tried to convince you that one of Mizuki’s friends would be interested in ‘showing you a good time.’ Always declining Suna’s offers to set you up but secretly thinking about how nice it would be to finally know the name of the pretty neighbor.

It’s not like you were thinking about using him as your way to get over your ex, he was just... genuinely nice. He left you feeling warm and the idea of how constant he was, it was appealing. He wasn’t too awful to look at either. You cursed yourself every time those thoughts popped into your head though.

You couldn’t pretend that Suna’s offers didn’t get to you though. He made some solid points sometimes. Like how it wouldn’t hurt to be a little sexually active.

Coming out of a long relationship, you were used to being sexual active, but you didn’t want to use anybody so you resolved to take care of it yourself. Rin leaving for his weekly date night with Mizuki meant that he wouldn’t be back until late, if at all, tonight.

It meant that you had the perfect excuse to put a show on my tv and some headphones over your ears and to take care of it.

a/n sighs. rewriting this was a walk down memory lane. i first wrote this as i was going through this exact situation - except it was a female friend whose apartment i stayed in and she did not have a pretty neighbor who saved me from dealing with the creepy neighbor aha. anywho... part two next week <3

TAGLIST - OPEN

@tsukiran @awkwardaardvarkforever @all-in-the-fandoms @mightyknight501

[imraespace]

LIFE'S HARD WHEN YOU'RE INLOVE ─

─ WITH RIN ITOSHI !!

━ 5:00 AM

Reo might think it's a miracle! You're up at 5:00 AM? Woah!

Your sleep consists of a total of 8 hours, plus whatever extra time you have. But today you sacrificed ONE hour, isn't that weird. WHY ARE YOU UP?

Yeah, you asked yourself that quite a lot this morning, staring at the ceiling for quite a bit until you got up, gave Choki your morning talk, and then grabbed the book.

For the first time, you're actually going to read it! And not analyze it for "love".

For some reason, you've felt more.. alive? Normally you always felt like, just there. You're alive and living, just there. But ever since these weird heart condition moments, uncontrollable eyes that always landed on this boy. Why did he change your life? Why does it make your life feel so.. pink? Before it was just gray.

This mysterious boy somehow gave a bit of light to your gray life.

Why? You just don't understand it, but you kinda like it. What would happen if you spoke to him? Now that might make your heart condition worse, your eyes might roll out your head and kaboom! Your brain explodes.

Yeah, maybe not speak to him, but sometimes you fantasize about it a bit.

Mysterious boy, what will you do?

You sighed at your thoughts and just read the book. The book that started it all.

Achoo!

The poor boy rubbed his nose. Is it the cold weather, or is someone thinking about him?

Rin Itoshi ignored it though. The big day was soon, in 24 hours he would be on that field in front of a bunch of eyes, proving that he could be the best out there. Proving to his brother how much better he's gotten. To prove to him that he can destroy him.

So that's why, at 5:00 AM for this whole week Rin Itoshi started his day off with a morning jog, then began his practicing.

He doesn't have time for "breaks". So why the hell does Isagi Yoichi not get the hint to stop with these silly notes.

If looks could burn, the crumbled-up paper would burn away right in his hand.

Rin had decided that to not throw away these notes, rather keep them for Isagi, before the big game to ask him what is his problem.

Rin always gave him weird looks when the team but Isagi never really got the hint. Isagi thought it was normal for him.

I mean it's Rin..

He sighed at the memories and thoughts and began is morning jog, stuffing the notes in his bag.

Rin's jog lasts about an hour, then after the jog, he makes his way back home to bathe and get ready for school.

He doesn't really communicate with anyone at home, maybe greets his parents for the morning, completely ignoring his brother as normal.

Sae and Rin attend different schools simply because, before he came back to Japan, he looked at schools who had a great football team. Obviously, to no one surprise, it was a school that Rin doesn't attend.

The brothers don't communicate, not ever. Even being in the same household it's like the other one isn't there. They completely blanked each other out of their mind.

In Rin's world, only he exists. No one else.

So of course, at 7:21 AM he didn't notice the girl from afar whose eyes had uncontrollably landed on him. Hm, at least he made it to school.

As soon as your friends entered the classroom, they met you reading a book.

Meguru was the first to run up to you, snatching the book out of your hand.

A sigh left your lips, as you tried to grab it back.

"Ooou! If there’s a way to put an end to these feelings that burst into my world, then I don’t want to know it. Woah!" Meguru read out loud

"MEGURU GIMMIE BACK MY BOOK!" You yelled, trying to snatch it back. He ran back towards Yoichi, who was still at the door.

He sighed as Meguru tried to hide behind him, with you in front of him.

At least he's getting a free hug? Seems like this is an everyday routine with his friends. Though, he felt bad for you so he got back your book for you.

"Hey! I was reading that!" Meguru argued. He ignored the boy behind him and gave back the book to its rightful owner, you.

"Thank you, Yoichi." You said, giving him a hug, with one hand, the other hand held the book.

Meguru came out from behind the boy and made his way towards you but you thought faster, hugging the book. That's your no-no zone! Meguru can't touch there.

He formed a pout, accepting his defeat.

Your three made it to your desks. The classroom wasn't filled as yet, only person being there was the boy. Of course, you didn't notice him, too in your book.

When Meguru and Yoichi entered the classroom, such things as other students in the classroom weren't on your mind. But then you noticed that he was indeed in the classroom when Yoichi.. called him..

You sat at your desk, witnessing the interaction between the boys. All that's on your mind was that he saw you, and heard you. Embarrassing? Yes.

That means originally, you were alone in this classroom with him.. and you didn't even notice.

Completely blanking out of the conversation, you stared at your desk trying to hide your blush.

What a morning!

Rin on the other hand, he noticed you only because of your loud mouth, nothing else. He was listening to music on his phone, but he paused it to look at a video. In doing so, between the pause he heard you. That's all.

And right now, he found it strange that now you're as quiet as a mouse. Not his problem though. They were talking about football anyway, your knowledge of that topic is about zero percent he's sure.

━ 12:31 PM

"Y/N!" A familiar voice called out to you.

It was Hyoma!

"Hyoma, hi!" He ran up to you with a scrunchie.

You suddenly got the memo. Of course, he would let you touch his hair. You always played in it anyways.

"I would love to tie your hair up for you Hyo but you're a bit tall as of right now." You stated.

Normally, he would be sitting but you both are in the middle of the hall. Then an idea popped into your mind.

"Wait lemme get on you."

"What."

"On your back, duh." You clarified.

"Oh." He answered back.

Hyoma turned around, and got a bit low for you as you hopped on him.

He gave you the scrunchie and you got to work. of course, both of you know that he himself can tie his own hair but who are you to turn down an opportunity to get your hands in his hair? and who would he be to turn down an opportunity to have you in his hair again?

You both may look silly in the hall but happy smiles were plastered on your faces.

"Chigiri? I didn't know you had your own personal hairstylist. Stylish." A male with REALLY LONG HAIR passed by and commented.

Woah, you're jealous of it.

"He's your friend Hyo?" You asked him.

"Yeah, he's on the team." He answered back.

A surprised look found its way onto your face after hearing that. Someone like him should be a model..

You finished up with your friend's hair, the model on the other hand was admiring your work.

"I say, this hairstyle is quite stylish." He commented as you came off Hyoma's back.

"Thank you, kind sir!" You said, giggling at your own joke.

The male held his hand up to his chest, showing off his painted nails, and began speaking.

"My name is Jyubei Aryu, what yours might be?" Aryu asked.

You copied his actions in a friendly manner and introduced yourself.

"Very nice to meet you Aryu! My name is Y/N L/N."

"Quite nice to meet you as well. The ways in which your hands styled Chigiri's hair were amazing, do tell me your secret, L/N."

"Erm, Of course, sir!" You.. told him. You don't know how to communicate with him.

"Aryu I think it's time for practice now." Hyoma brought up.

Aryu nodded at his words and began to walk away, leaving behind sparkles in his trail. Wow..

"Bye Hyoma!" You exclaimed, hugging him for a bit before, walking away.

Either that team is secretly a model agency or everyone there looks like models.

They are also very much tall. It's kinda scary, you almost broke your neck looking up to that Aryu guy. How tall is he?

Now, you're kinda excited to see this match tomorrow.

## LIFE'S HARD WHEN YOU'RE INLOVE. --

╴“ WITH RIN ITOSHI?? „

ฅ^._.^ฅ : some things about y/n !! she mostly sleeps through the day, only does stuff IF needed !! with her given gift of being effortlessly smart , all she does in her free time is : nap , eat , sleep. hmm what if.. one day y/n develops a crush and now has to ACTUALLY work to achieve a goal ? : date rin itoshi !!

7 // 9

TAGLIST: @deezy12299 @kuroronana @khoiyyu @swagkittybear @shidousprincess @starbarfbunni @jealovsie (OPEN)

! if you didn't get tag, that means your acc didn't show up :(

-`♥︎´- for this story, i'm trying a something new, which includes words/phrases, foods and hometowns from japan and germany. if there's any errors please point it out !

-`♥︎´- word count : 1.4K

[saeist]

it was a bad idea honestly. no scratch that, it was a TERRIBLE idea. the idea being of which is that you and the rin would go inside a haunted horror house at the local amusement park. (whose idea came from bachira, who claims that it’d be fun)

now here you were, scared out of your wits, trying to at least make it out alive out of this haunted horror house.

not that rin would admit it, but he was watching you in slight amusement whenever you’d bump into something and scream. to him, this attraction wasn’t even that scary to begin with. he too was forced to enter by his “friends” aka bachira and isagi who both claimed that they haven’t seen him crack a smile throughout the day they were in this amusement park. (which was bullshit as rin thinks)

“dear god.. what have i done to receive this punishment” you cry out, hands trembling as you and rin navigate through the creepy hallways. only to be greeted with another makeshift ghost at the end. of course, rin saw this coming and only huffs as a reaction. you on the other hand..

rin almost felt sorry for you at that point. he notices that your shoulders were trembling and your breath was shaky. were you crying?

“hey..” rin murmurs, standing next to you and thats when he heard your sniffles. ‘goddamn it’ rin thinks to himself. of course he’s the one who gets caught up in this type of situation. a situation that involves someone crying.

as much as rin sucks at comforting people, there’s only little to none he can do at the moment.

your hands were covering your eyes. this whole horror thing was already too much for your scared ass. you wanted this to be over with and beat the shit out of bachira who gave you the idea but you felt yourself stuck in the position you are now. until that is, you felt a tap on your shoulder. instantly you jumped and immediately latched onto the person next to you, which was rin

rin stands there stunned by the way you instinctively latched onto him, your arms wrapped around his torso and head buried in his chest to hide your face

“it’s me, c-calm down” rin stutters. he’s not used to this sort of intimate contact. he can feel his face burn. out of embarrassment? he does not know. all he knows is that he hopes you don’t note how fast and loud his heart was beating

“rin i can’t take it anymore!” you cry, burying your head deeper into his chest. rin panics on the inside. his head chanting ‘what the fuck do i do now’

the only logical way to get out of this was to simply, get moving with you literally sticking by his side. with a heavy sigh, he hesitantly wraps an arm around your shoulders and maneuver around the last corridors of the said horror house.

thankfully, that corridor you two were in was the last corridor before the exit so you guys made it out in no time. there outside waits isagi and bachira who were busy chitchatting amongst themselves about how you two were taking so long. to their surprise, they spot you in rin’s arms, coming out of the exit.

“we’re out, you can open your eyes now” rin says the moment you two step foot out of the attraction. almost immediately you opened your eyes. you don’t even notice the position you and rin were in. the only thing in your mind right now is to find bachira and to literally throttle him for his stupid idea.

“y/n-chan, rin-chan over here!” bachira waves, his face having a mischievous look to it. “i’m going to kill you!” you exclaimed, running after him.

isagi laughs at this while rin merely scoffs. “so did you two have fun?” isagi asks rin who was walking next to him. “what do you think?” rin says sarcastically, giving isagi a glare. only for the latter to give him a knowing look.

[emotionaldepravity]

Your yandere Obito had my heart thumping and my face completely red from embarrassment. (I may or may not have been smiling the whole time reading it, huehuehue.) May I please request more yandere Obito[from Naruto.] once again? Anything, even a sliver of Obito to get me through my day? NSFW, or not, either is completely fine. Thank you, so, so much, you wonderful skeleton covered in flesh. :3

YES I CAN HELP! I'm actually going to be a bit wacky... this builds off the stuff from last time mostly the "feeding his delusion" route for the nsfw stuff. Link here to part 1/context! I'm so excited that I get to write more for this!

-Maybe he was just being stubborn, but Obito was denying how he really felt. So many thoughts ran through his head as he did his best to play his role as Madara.

-Yet no matter how much Zetsu urged him, he just kept going back to your apartment. He had lost count how many "keepsakes" he had "borrowed" from your home. If he wasn't careful, he might end up taking everything. You might move to a less convenient location or not sleep so soundly and sweetly when he made his nightly visit. It was growing more difficult to keep himself from you.

-Why should he? No, why should he deny you of him? There was plenty of time before the Eye of the Moon plan was finalized. The board was running slow, but as long as the pieces kept moving in order, he could spend a little time with you. Not realizing he had to capture the tailed beasts in order showed him how impatient he really was.

-His conflicted heart made his path blurry. It was extremely risky to see you, and the moment he was set on the Uchiha clan's downfall, he knew that he was going to have to make his choice. To take you with him the night before he was set to meet with Itachi or cut himself off from you completely.

-That would have either been the last night you noticed you "lost" random things or the night he revealed himself to you. He never regrets the choice he makes even if it leads to unhappiness. He might long to see your face as he rereads your diary, but he knows you only have to suffer his death not suffer the man he is now. On the other hand, he might see how miserable you are at his side, but he strongly believes you'd be even worse off without knowing that he is alive.

-Living as a member of the Akatsuki, willingly or not, forces you to lie at every turn. You have to feign knowing that Tobi is anything but a silly rookie. Unfortunately, he doesn't let you ignore him either. He pairs you up with himself and has you run missions with him.

-If you enjoy playing with him as Tobi, he gets even deeper into his role for you when alone. Though, he knows its a mockery of him as a child in some ways, he'd happily be that idiot for you as long as you keep smiling for him.

-Just the sight of you keeps him from being lost as the ten tails tries to rip his mind apart. He has a goal he must fulfill for you, sorry I mean you, sorry I mean you, sorry I mean Rin. The lies swim in his head, but he knows he just wants you to be with a version of him that isn't so horrible.

NSFW Warning/ Dub-con Warning

-If he wasn't so deep in denial, he'd actually realize that all his dirty fantasies involved you. He can't think of Rin in such a way so his body desires you, craves you. It might be under layers and layers of "this is what you want to do with him."

-The first time Obito masturbated with your panties wrapped around his cock, he rubbed it raw. He didn't really know what he was doing, but the thought that under different circumstances you could catch him like this, drove him wild. He gets caught up in the loop of using something so intimate to you for his own pleasure that he wouldn't realize that he is ruining the material or hurting himself. The pain makes his cock twitch just as much as the soft material around his sensitive skin does. It makes him drool a bit at the thought of you masturbating to him like this.

-If you end up on the path where you are on his side and feeding into his delusion that its actually you who is obsessed with him, he will eventually succumb to his lust. Without pretense and once you were alone with him in the Kamui dimension, he'd toss his mask away and kiss you without restraint. He'd bring you close to him letting you feel just how hard he is knowing what he planned to do.

"I know I'm spoiling you for the other me, but I don't think you'll mind that much. You've wanted me for so long after all. Let me reward you for your loyalty."

-If he strips you down and you are wet at all, he is going to feel so validated in his actions and so very attractive. Even this version of him that he considered worthless is enough for you to want him. To him that's equally beautiful and tragic.

-This would have been his first time with anyone so he is extremely inexperienced. He'd probably come the instant he was inside you, but he would be very much ready to keep going.

-You being a virgin as well would drive him insane.

"You saved yourself for me? Oh [Y/N], I shouldn't have made you wait so long!"

-He is very vocal switching between growls and whines as he ruts into you. His position preference would be for you be looking up at him. Nothing else really matters to him as long as his dick is inside you. In a different situation he'd have you on all fours and unable to see his scarred face, but you love him right? It would be too cruel for him not to see you looking into his eye with an expression of pure pleasure and too cruel for you not to get to enjoy "the man you love" as he is intimate with you.

-By virtue of being a virgin or a miracle, if you somehow come around his cock, he will take it as permission to take you like this again. Its addicting for him to make you shudder and call his name out like that. Who would have thought being your savior would feel so good for him?

-Depending on how bad his performance was for you, he would be willing to learn how to please you better. Over time he will improve as he explores your body more, but he would only ask how to do better on the chance you complain. He might be a bit embarrassed, but what can he say, he knows he isn't the version you'll be with for the rest of eternity.

-He'd be overly regretful over his actions if he ever saw you cry after sex. It almost hurts him as much as it hurts you. He is just doing what he thinks you want. He is trying to make it easier for you to be around him and easier for him to keep himself in his delusion.

-While he starts off very vanilla, he finds out he has a praise kink and a roleplay kink. He likes to hear you tell him his handsome. Though he'd probably refute the

He wants to hear you say the things that he believes you are thinking. Craving that validation of his delusion, he might have you recite certain entries from your diary while he eats you out. Yes, he figured out where your clit is. It just took him a second.

-Whether its Hokage-personal anbu guard roleplay or him fulling putting himself in the Tobi or Madara roles, he really enjoys imagining that the man he is now isn't the one fucking you senseless in the Kamui dimension. It helps him feel a little less guilty for enjoying himself in a way that's not possible in the Infinite Tsukiyomi. If he is willing to be a little less selfish he might even ask you what sort of scenario you'd enjoy.

-Cumming on your face is where he likes to finish the most. It feels so wrong to see you, a proud shinobi, covered in his fluids, and oh so arousing. He often burns the image into his brain by turning on his sharingan. If he is feeling particularly cruel, he might work on learning genjutsu just so he can make you see yourself.

[shiki-aki]

Do you know how much Akira being Shiki's caretaker and guardian means so much for me in ED1?

Because being caretaker is so frustating (believe me I was the main caretaker for my late grandma in her last months and it isn't easy), I have to be patient to ny grandma who had dementia and regressed to be childish and likes to throw temper tantrum, my mental health went to the sewer, i barely manage to take care myself, my life is falling apart, im sleep deprived, i feel alone, there is many times i want to run away but i have obligation and i loved her so much to abandon her. She was like a second parent to me

My situation with Akira isn't the same, Akira doesn't have to deal Shiki throwing tantrum but he had to deal assassinations going after them in an POST-APOCALYPTIC WORLD WITH NO HEALTHCARE AND STABLE PLACE AND LITTLE TO NO FOOD??? THAT SPEAK SO MUCH DEDICATION, AKIRA DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY OBLIGATION TO TAKE CARE OF SHIKI AFTER WHAT HE HAD DONE?! HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH SHIKI'S SHIT ANYMORE AND LEFT HIM TO DIE BUT NO. THIS MAN JUST STAY WITH HIM

ALSO SANITATION

Sorry, for the capslock, I got excited for a moment...

Ig this speak so much i liked the ED1 too

I definitely wasn't expecting to wake up to this, but thank you so much for this ask, I really loved reading about your experience and how ED1 resonates with you <3.

(Putting a 'read more' because my response is quite lengthy and treads into meta territory)

I don't have any experience with being a caretaker but gosh that sounds so stressful T_T. I really hope you're doing better now, and that hopefully your grandma was still able to live her life peacefully until the end. To be honest, when I think about ED1, I don't really consider the more sad/distressing aspects of it, like Akira having to be on the run with Shiki for 2 years and doing everything for him, so this was a bit of an eye opener for me. I did write an ED1 fic where it kind of detailed their life while on the run, but it wasn't that depressive, and instead focused on Akira's bittersweet feelings toward Shiki TwT.

But same, I really love how dedicated Akira is to taking care of Shiki in ED1. I think that, no matter what, Akira is the determined type of person who won't give up. He already experienced what it was like to lose Keisuke, so he doesn't want to lose Shiki, either. And I know I haven't finished my meta yet but I'll just spill a bit of my thoughts for why Akira follows Shiki in ED1:

Shiki was the one to bring back Akira's will to live when Akira was at the lowest point in his life. If Shiki hadn't found him in that alleyway, Akira would've let himself get killed by any random Igra fighter. Shiki's route is different from Motomi's/Rin's in that Akira actually sees Keisuke die in front of him, while in the other two, Keisuke just runs off, so Akira clings onto the vain hope that Keisuke is still alive. Yeah it's fucked up how Shiki went about bringing back Akira's will to live, but let's be real, that's exactly the type of character he is lol, and what I love about it is how it makes sense for him to kidnap Akira and rape him, based on Shiki's obsession with Akira's determined and defiant nature.

So now, when Shiki is at the lowest point in his life and has lost the will to live, it's Akira's turn to do the same for Shiki and force him to continue living. Which is why he sticks by Shiki's side for 2 years even when life seems absolutely miserable. (GOD I FUCKING LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH I JUST SFDGHFDHGHSDFHSDFHSDH they really get each other tbh).

But even though life seems miserable, Akira doesn't view it that way (and this is also why Shiki's ED1 is my favorite and why I personally think it's the one that most beautifully completes Akira's character arc). Like look at this:

It's so starkly different from Akira's POV at the beginning of the game. When Akira was in the CFC, he didn't care about anything and he certainly didn't wax poetic about the scenery (not that the scenery in CFC is pretty but like, you get what I mean lol). We can tell Akira is different in ED1, that his very philosophy is different, because he's looking at life from a new perspective now, taking the time to appreciate the nature around him and just... the simple fact of being alive. Whereas at the start of the game, Akira didn't see a meaning to his own life and was living just because. In Shiki's ED1, Akira does see a meaning to life, and it's why he takes care of Shiki and protects him. Because he finally understands how valuable life is, and how you should cherish it.

But I'm gonna go back to the tunnel scene real quick to touch upon what exactly Shiki said that changed Akira's perspective and made Akira want to follow him:

Akira, his whole life, was looking for a purpose/meaning to his existence, and now he's finally "found" it, but not in the way he expected. After learning about his own past/backstory and how he was experimented on in the past, Akira starts thinking that the only reason for his existence is to be a test subject/experiment, and that his blood dictates his existence. He starts having an identity crisis basically, especially since he already saw how his blood hurts/kills people (Rein users, Takeru, Keisuke), and that the whole reason for why Emma and Gwen wanted to capture him was for his blood so he could be further experimented on.

So Akira starts falling into this hole, thinking that his worth in life is only determined by his blood. And then he turns to Shiki and asks if Shiki wants to kill him, because he expects Shiki to view him as only the "null-Nicole carrier" and not Akira as a person. He knows that Shiki hated Nano for having a virus in his blood, and Akira also has a virus in his blood, even if the effect is different. So he fully expects Shiki to kill him at this moment.

And then Shiki tells him: "You're mine. That's all there is to it."

Shiki says exactly the right words Akira needed to hear at this time. He's not going to kill Akira, because he doesn't view him for his blood, but for who he is as a person. Now let me make it clear that Shiki isn't the most emotionally intelligent person out there lol but I think, even during this moment, he saw how conflicted Akira was feeling about his own existence, especially with regards to the blood thing.

So Shiki... comforts him in his own special way by saying that he won't kill Akira because Akira is his possession, but also remember that Shiki made Akira his possession in the first place because he was interested in Akira as a person. When he kidnapped Akira, it was because he was fascinated by Akira's resistance and defiance and determination. This is as close to Shiki saying he likes Akira for who he is as you're gonna get, and what I love about this dialogue is how it keeps Shiki entirely in-character. He's not gonna coddle Akira or sugarcoat his words, and he's also going to hide his true feelings by saying that Akira is just his possession, but his true feelings are there in how he refuses to kill Akira. Because again, he views Akira as his own person, and not just as someone carrying a dangerous virus in his blood.

I'M GONNA STOP HERE BEFORE I RAMBLE TOO MUCH BUT. Let me just add this one last scene from the game to end it off on this point lol.

Shiki had told him who he was: that he remained Akira, no more, no less, despite the tainted blood in his veins. That was why Akira had chosen to stay, to be as near as he could to the core of who Shiki was.

At the end of the day, this is what I love about Shikiaki. This is why I ship them so hard. Because they truly understand each other, they see each other for the "core of who they are" and are drawn to each other's character traits. Shiki dedicated his whole life to killing Nano because of the "dirty virus" in Nano's blood, but him refusing to kill Akira even after learning about how Akira has the same blood origin speaks VOLUMES about how fond he actually is of Akira, and how he views Akira as his own person.

And I feel like, at the end of it all, Akira just wanted someone to understand him and see him for who he is. He had a difficult time communicating with others his whole life because people didn't like his terse and reserved nature (even his own best friend didn't like that side of him). But Shiki doesn't care about Akira's emotionally stunted nature; he cares about how Akira is determined, stubborn, prideful, and how he doesn't take shit from anyone lol. And Shiki likes every side of Akira. His route is the only one where Akira didn't have to drastically change his personality just to make the romance work, but Akira's pre-existing character traits were strengthened over the course of Shiki's route.

*TAKES DEEP BREATH* OKAY YEAH SORRY I RAMBLED A LOT THERE and that's not even all my thoughts tbh, that's just like. A third of it LMAO. I'm saving the rest for my meta.

But okay going back to your ask, yeah the sanitation aspect is one that I don't want to think too heavily on lmao. I think it just speaks to how much Akira cares for Shiki though, that he would help "clean" Shiki up, and how again, Akira is doing all of this because he recognizes how precious life is, so he won't abandon Shiki, because Shiki didn't abandon him back in Toshima.

NO DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR BEING EXCITED ABOUT ED1 I LOVE THIS ENDING SO MUCH I LOOOOVE TALKING ABOUT IT. I ALWAYS END UP WRITING A WHOLE ASS ESSAY WHENEVER PEOPLE ASK ME ABOUT IT. I'M REALLY HAPPY THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WHO LIKE ED1 AS WELL, I feel like many Shikiaki shippers hated ED1 back then because it was so sad, but I feel like in recent times people understand and appreciate ED1 for what it is? And that makes me happy ig lol, like don't get me wrong I adore all of Shiki's EDs but ED1 is just. IT HITS DIFFERENT. And I hope that in my meta I'll be able to explain why ED1 is just the perfect ending for Shiki and Akira's story despite how sad and angsty it is sfhsdhfhdghfdghgffdg.

Thank you so much for the ask and I'm sorry I wrote a long ass response in reply omg I was just really excited reading your thoughts!!!

[rinrinx2]

Can we have rin and yn taking renzo to their first day of preschool or even dropping them off at daycare <3

Hope you like it!

.

First Day

Rindou x reader

Warnings: None

"Do you have hat on?" You asked for the millionth time since you had gotten into the car.

"Yes mommy" Renzo replied cheerfully, not noting your stressful mood, and nervous habits occurring. All while Rindou sat peacefully in the driver's seat enjoying what would be the first trip of many dropping his son at preschool.

"Relax (Y/N), his only going to preschool not the military" Rindou said his eyes peaking quickly at you before his attention going back to the road.

"How aren't you worried Rin. It's his first day, what if he thinks we're going to be in class with him? What's going to happen when he realizes we not? You know how he needs tight hugs when he cries whose going to give it? Huh Rin" you said ambushing your husband with questions that any person would think was absurd.

With a calm expression on his face Rindou leaned slightly back eyes still on the road as he began to talk.

"Renzo you do know that mommy and daddy won't be with you in preschool" Rindou said to the Renzo.

"I know daddy" Renzo replied his eyes glued to the outside view of the window.

"You're not going to miss mommy and daddy?"

"No, I'll see you later" the young boy replied nonchalantly.

Rindou's head snapped in your direction with the biggest 'I told you so' smirk. Big enough that you wanted to smack it off your husband that his head would knock the steering wheel.

"See theres no need to stress (Y/N)-chan"

"Fine you're right but I'm just worried about him. Its normal to be concerned" you said in you defence of your nervous about your sons first day at school.

For the rest of the ride you sat silently, trying your best to not let your nervous devour you alive. While your husband drove happily with a smile, merrily humming a tune without a care in the world.

"You ready?" Rindou asked as the car came to a holt. The massive school now in full view.

And you tried you best to remian calm. You watched as Rindou exited the car as he walked around the it to help Renzo out.

"I'm gonna eat my sandwhich in class now" Renzo giggled out as Rindou carried him to the front of the school, as you got out of the car following them quietly trying your best to not let your emotions out.

"You can't eat it now, you've got to keep it for lunch time" Rindou explained to Renzo.

Rindou gently placed the young boy on the ground, crouching down to his level to fix his uniform. Rindou began fixing his jacket and shirt collar, making sure he looked his best.

Rindou looked over his sons appearance one more time, taking in how much bigger his son was now. It felt as if only yesterday he was running after the small Haitani to eat his vegtables. Suddenly the sight of his son felt like to much, as Rindou realized that his child was growing up a bit to fats for his liking, but still he was not going to admit that at this very moment.

"You're a big boy now" Rindou said as he gulped hard.

"So, listen to your teacher and do your work"

"I will" Renzo said with a smile.

"And try to make as many friends as you can"

"Yes, Dad I'll try"

"And" but just as Rindou spoke the bell for the start of school rung loud and clear.

"I've gotta go now dad" Renzo said as he looked back at the school doors, as the last bit of children walked through them.

"I just wanted to say I love you" Rindou said as he watched the little boy zoom away running towards the massive school doors.

Rindou stood up, feeling the tears brim his lashline and how hot his face felt as he watched his son leave.

Rindou turned himself around, now facing you, with his tear stained cheeks and pouty lips, while you stood dry eyed. Just as you were about to comment on who was the more emotional parent you saw the image of a small boy running in your direction.

"I love you too Dad" Renzo said as he hugged at Rindou's legs, before he quickly made hsi way over to you hugging you legs even tighter.

"I love you, Mom. See you later" Renzo said before he quickl made his way back to the school doors, where his teacher stood with a smile waiting on him.

You felt the tears forming in your eyes but quickly blinked them away, as you looked at Rindou. But your husband was now crying full massive tears as he blubbered away.

"His so big now. Does he have to start school. I'm going to miss him. He needs me (Y/N)" Rindou said as he walked over towards you placing his head on your shoulder as he cried away.

"We need to go fetch him, what if he gets hurt, what if he thinks we're going to go to his class and sit with him now (Y/N)-chan"

"Relax Rindou, his only going to pre-school not the millitary"

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All rights resevered to @rinrinx2

[fanfictionstuff]

Red String of Fate part two

Amaimon x Reader soulmate AU

“Let’s go.” The oddly dressed demon starts to tug you towards an alley. “Wait, no! What are you doing? I’m not going anywhere with you.” Amaimon drops your wrist, staring blankly. “Why? Aren’t you my soulmate? I want you with me.” He states bluntly. “Y-yeah.” You stutter, trying to compose yourself. “Yeah, but we need to be realistic. I’m not just leaving with you; I don’t care if you’re my soulmate. Until earlier today, I had just assumed my soulmate was dead, and that’s why I had a broken string.” You measure the length your string had been earlier in the day. “See? This is where the string stopped before.” You point at the spot as you speak. “There’s not enough known about soulmates; I’m not going anywhere with you in the dark.” You notice Rin checking out at the register from the corner of your eye.

“Can we talk later?” You ask cautiously, hoping he’ll agree. He stares at you long and hard; for a moment, you’re fearful he might try to kidnap you or something. “Later?” You nod. “Yes, maybe tomorrow, we can meet up and have time to talk. Preferably in daylight.” You wait with bated breath, silently praying the demon will agree, and to your relief, he finally nods in agreement while sounding completely nonchalant. “Okay, bye.” You watch, slightly miffed, when he turns his back to you and walks away. Why do I feel disappointed, I asked him to leave.

Rin steps out of the shop a few moments later. “Hey ____, I got some snacks we can easily eat without making a mess while looking for your soulmate. I figured these would be less of a mess-“

“Thanks, but I think I’ll return to my dorm.” You grin, but you’re unable to hold it when Rin doesn’t return the gesture. “Something wrong?”

“You were really excited. Did something happen?” His eyes widen when a thought crosses his mind. “Wait, did you find him? Is he actually a baby? I had been joking but-“

You jokingly hit his shoulder. “Oh my god, no. It’s just that I think maybe you were right, and I should look into it during the day. Maybe tomorrow or something.”

Rin gives you a look of confusion, then slowly nods. It’s odd you’d change your mind like this, but he figures maybe you’re a bit overwhelmed at the idea of having a soulmate who is actually alive or something. “Okay, well, let me walk you back to the dorm.”

Shiemi glances at you as you help pull some weeds from the garden. “Rin told me you’re connected to your soulmate now.” She fidgets a bit and continues before you have a chance to answer. “I didn’t know you had a soulmate.”

“Huh?”

Panic crosses her face. “I’m so sorry! Was I not supposed to know? I’m really sorry-“

“Shiemi, relax. I don’t mind that Rin told you. Honestly, I didn’t realize you didn’t know.” You glance at the string. “It’s been here forever, and up until yesterday, it was just about this long.” You raise your other hand to show the length. “I never think about it, so I never talk about it.” You pause to think before continuing. “Because nobody else can see it; it’s just kind of forgotten and just a part of my body.” You laugh awkwardly, unsure if that’s a good explanation or not. “But yeah, it’s been kind of frayed for the last eighteen years; at least, I assume it was there when I was a baby. I don’t remember a time without having it.” You look down at the strong while recalling yesterday’s events. “Yesterday, when I was hanging out with Rin, I looked down and noticed it was long and leading somewhere.” Your gaze follows the thread as you explain it to her. “It’s the same size as a string of thread and can’t be physically touched, so it’s easy to forget about. I don’t know how long it had been extended until I noticed it.”

The blonde stares at your finger, looking curious. “Have you found them yet?”

“…..Do you promise not to tell anyone? Not even Rin?”

Shiemi gives you an unsure look, but after a long moment of silence, she finally nods. “Yes. I promise.”

You glance at your little finger, tracing your fingertip along it just as Amaimon had done with his claw the night before. "What if he's not a good person?”

“Did you meet him?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you think he’s not a good person? Was he mean to you?”

Your focus returns to the weeds you’re pulling from Shiemi’s garden. “No, not to me…” You bite your lip, not wanting to share too much. “He’s so odd, and I want to get to know him, but I’m nervous. I’m so normal and boring compared to him. He seems to be the complete opposite of me.”

“_____, he’s your soulmate. That means he’s your perfect match, right? You’re his perfect match.”

“Ah, Amaimon. Where have you been, dear brother? Did you finally find your soulmate? Is she an infant?” Mephisto jokes as the younger demon king steps into his office.

“No. She’s a student at your school.”

Mephisto quirks a brow. “Oh?”

Amaimon nods, but a flicker of annoyance crosses his face before he regains his composure. "She's Rin Okumura's closest friend," He says with a hint of jealousy. Mephisto observes the shift in Amaimon’s emotions with curiosity; it’s not an emotion he’s seen from the younger king before.

“It's bothering you?” He asks cautiously, knowing that a possessive demon is never a good thing, especially one as powerful as Amaimon.

“She left with him; if she’s my soulmate, why is she with him?” He childishly complains.

Mephisto strokes his chin thoughtfully. "So, she was left with him? Did they appear to be together when you came across them?"

Amaimon nods.

“They’re best friends, _____ wasn’t meant to attend this school.” Mephisto lets out a heavy sigh. “However, Rin needed some extra support, so I had her enroll and placed her in exorcist training. She only discovered the existence of this world recently.” In a puff of pink smoke, a slim file materializes in Mephisto’s grasp. “Would you like to know more about her? There's not much information, but it covers the basics. Then, when she's by herself, you can approach her.”

The Earth King strides over, snatching the file from Mephisto's outstretched hand before quickly disappearing.

You're never alone. Amaimon chews on his thumbnail out of aggravation, peering at you and Rin walking down the sidewalk. If you're not with Rin, then you're with that blond human girl. He's been trailing you for three days now. Why must you always be in someone's company? Amaimon's irritation grows as he wonders if you're trying to avoid him. He can feel the string around his finger tighten whenever he gets near, so he knows that you're aware of his presence.

He's right, you’re fully aware. As Rin launches into a tirade about Yukio’s strange behavior recently, your eyes trail down to the string. You can sense Amaimon’s eyes on you, but you’re too nervous to look in the direction the string leads. You don’t trust yourself not to stare at the alluring demon king.

“Hey, Rin?” You feel the invisible tether between you and him pulling harder; it's impossible to ignore. It started as a subtle tug when you first met, but now it's almost painful. "I think I'm going to skip cram school today." Rin raises an eyebrow in response. "You? Skipping class? You must be sick." He teases, placing his hand on your forehead to check for a fever. Irritated, you swat his hand away. "Cram school isn't like regular high school. It's a lot, and I just need a break today." Pushing him towards the nearest door, you say, "I'm going home to relax."

The moment the door shuts behind Rin, you feel Amaimon’s presence behind you. “Would you like to get dinner?” You question, with your back still to him. “Dinner?” He sounds weirdly bored as he parrots you.

“Yeah, if you don’t want to-“

“What do you want to eat?” As he questions you, he tugs you closer to him and forces you to face him. You’re hit with the scent of blueberry candy, your eyes look at his lips the lollipop hanging from his mouth. “____?” He nudges your shoulder, waiting for your answer.

“Pizza? Do you like pizza?”

He gives a nonchalant shrug, his expression still conveying boredom. "I don’t know," he says. He hasn't had the opportunity to try it in Assiah yet.

“Oh, uh, would you like to try it?”

Amaimon silently nods, motioning for you to lead the way.

An uncomfortable silence falls over the two of you. You fidget as you walk alongside him, tugging at your skirt or a button on your uniform top to keep your hands busy. The stares from strangers don’t help, you can’t blame them though, you’re a normal-looking student while Amaimon looks…odd. It’s even more awkward when those staring suddenly snap their head away after making eye contact with Amaimon. So, you quicken your pace, quickly making your way to the restaurant and away from any staring eyes.

As you walk into the restaurant, a young waitress greets you with a nonjudgmental look. She smiles genuinely and addresses you by name. "A date?" Her tone is playful as she glances between you and Amaimon. Usually, you come in with Rin or Shiemi, so this new companion catches her attention. Panic sets in slightly - would it be considered a date? How should I refer to it? What if he-

“Yes.” Amaimon answers for you.

Hana, the waitress, beckons you to a corner booth for some added privacy. To your surprise (and hers), Amaimon chooses to sit next to you instead of opposite. Hana sets a menu down on the table, giving you a sly wink before leaving you two alone. You open the pizza section and slide the menu towards Amaimon.

His brows slightly furrow at all the options as his eyes scan each photo and carefully reading the description. While he’s focused on that, you can’t help but openly stare at him. As a child, you had dreamed about finding your soulmate, but that dream died as you grew older; you couldn’t find anything about broken strings as you started looking more into it when you could read proper books. At least, you had thought it died. The feeling that washed over you that night when you looked down and saw that the string grew in length is indescribable. The hope you had as a child came back ten times as strong. But then, finding out he’s a demon. Shouldn’t you feel disappointed? Sad? Your soulmate is a being that you hadn’t even known existed until a few months ago. You’re currently being trained to exorcise his kind. Instead, you feel a strong urge to hold him and never let go. A pinch on your little finger snaps you out of your thoughts. Your face burns red as you notice he’s staring back.

“Which one do you like?”

“Huh?”

“The pizza, which one do you like?”

“Oh uh-“ Shit. There’s so much dumb drama over it, and the ones who don’t like it are so loud and dramatic about it. You really don’t want to order it and him not like it so “-cheese.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not; I like cheese.”

“Which one is your favorite?”

“…pineapple and ham.”

“Okay, I want that.”

You stare, unsure what to say. What if he doesn’t like it? It might completely turn him off pizza. You wave the waitress over. “Could we get a large pizza? Half Hawaiian, half cheese.”

As it arrives, you fidget, worried he might hate it or think you’re weird for liking it. Rin teased you endlessly for a year after learning you like pineapple on pizza. Your eyes anxiously watch him pick up a slice of the Hawaiian and slowly bring it to his lips, taking a bite. He swallows and looks at you with an oddly neutral expression. “I like it.”

You grin excitedly; he doesn’t think it’s gross. “Oh good, try the cheese too, and tell me which one you like better.” You probably shouldn’t be staring at him so intensely, but you can’t help but be curious. Which will he prefer? “That one is better.” He points at the Hawaiian while finishing the cheese.

“Oh great, so when we order pizza in the future, we can whole a whole pineapple and ham. I mean, if you want to. I understand if you’re not interested, I’m kind of boring.” You admit awkwardly. He stares long and hard before leaning down and pressing his lips against yours. You lose yourself in the sensation of his lips against yours, a rush of emotions flooding through you. The world around you fades away as you lean into the kiss, feeling the warmth of his touch sear through your being. His kiss is both gentle and demanding, a contradiction that mirrors the complex nature of your relationship.

When you finally pull away, your heart is pounding in your chest, and you can see the intensity in Amaimon's gaze. There is a hunger there, a raw desire that sends shivers down your spine. As you catch your breath, trying to make sense of what just happened, he leans back slightly, his expression unreadable.

"____," he murmurs, his voice low and husky, sending a jolt of electricity through you. "you intrigue me."

The words hang in the air between you, heavy with unspoken meaning. You feel a surge of conflicting emotions - desire, fear, excitement - swirling inside you.

Your eyes widen as you remember you’re in a restaurant, and it’s extremely inappropriate. Your eyes dart across the restaurant to see if anyone noticed, and of course, Hana is grinning like an idiot, openly watching you and Amaimon.

Ignoring Hanna's prying gaze, you clear your throat, attempting to regain some composure after the unexpected kiss. Amaimon's golden eyes watch you intently.

"Um, we should probably finish eating," you mumble, feeling a wave of self-consciousness wash over you. The atmosphere between you two has shifted, charged with a newfound tension that both excites and unsettles you.

Amaimon merely nods in agreement, his expression inscrutable as he continues to observe you with that piercing gaze. As you both turn your focus back to the meal, the silence between you is heavy.

The taste of pineapple and ham pizza lingers on your tongue, mixing with the lingering sensation of Amaimon's kiss.

After finishing the meal in awkward silence, you signal for the check, eager to leave, and silently pray Hana doesn’t tell Rin or Shiemi about what she saw.

You stand in front of your building, a lump forming in your throat as you struggle to say goodbye. Every fiber of your being resists the idea of separating from him. It feels wrong, almost unnatural. You force yourself to say the words, though. “I-I guess I’ll see you later? Maybe tomorrow…” Your voice trails off, unable to completely hide the disappointment. Why am I like this? “…unless.” You bite your tongue. Shut up, idiot. Amaimon leans forward and presses his lips against yours. As he pulls away, his words send a shiver down your spine. “Show me your house. We can decide if you'd rather live here or at Brother’s home.”

“What?!”

[skykashi]

Do you think Kakashi had romantic feelings for Rin? I know they were still just kids when she died, but it is for me so frustrating to see this character living his entire life crying for this loss and staying alone. Is it maybe because he loved her and he can replace her? Isn’t it too painful? I wish he could find some happiness with a love, not only helping the village and his students but nothing… He is just waiting his death to meet her again? And what about Obito? There is this issue in naruto universe that people dies but actually the are alive someway and can interact with the world 🤔this kinda makes the plot controverse… What do you think about it? Thank you.

Thank you for the ask

Tbqh, I don't really think Kakashi had romantic feelings for Rin and if he did, he never showed it. At that time Kakashi was deeply traumatized by what happened to Sakumo so he put his entire focus on trying to be the perfect Shinobi and prove that he won't fail like his dad did so he didn't give himself enough chance to think about anything else other than that, there was no room for romance or anything else.. and that kept dragging on with each new trauma, the poor man kept getting constantly hit with one tragedy after the other and so after Obito's death, that one goal changed from being the perfect Shinobi to protecting everyone and hoping for a better future where no one ever has to get hurt or die like his loved ones did... As much as I too, like you wished to see Kakashi having kids of his own, Kakashi himself gets his happiness from seeing the ppl he loves happy and at peace with their families which are like a family to him too. So yeah, I don't think he's single because he can't get over an old love or anything like that, he just feels content and fulfilled because he did achieve his only dream, his students and friends are fine and alive and happy and the ninja world finally found it's peace and learned to work together for a better future, that's all he ever wished for.

As for how ppl can interact with other ppl after their death, they aren't free to do that whenever they feel like it, no. When Obito died and talked Kakashi for the last time he explained that to Rin by saying that all chakras are connected somehow in the land of living so before he completely moved to the afterlife with the little remaining chakra he still had in the living world he can momentarily contact Kakashi, same thing goes for Minato and Kushina because Minato actually sealed a little bit of their chakra in Naruto before they died and so they were able to contact Naruto momentarily too when their seals were triggered, and same goes for Dan, Asuma and everyone that was reanimated in the war, when the reanimation Jutsu was released they only had a brief moment to talk to their loved ones with their chakra that was brought to the land of living by the reanimation Jutsu before they are forced to go back to the afterlife.

[deevotee]

im still in the school arc reading wise so i dont know everything abt the servants back stories yet, but i cant stop thinking about bard starting work at the manor and just living with this expectation that one day he will watch all of them die too

maybe the feeling slowly starts to go away with time, it may only be a couple years but he watches sebastian and mey rin take down enemies with ease, an old man still in his prime who couldnt be taken down by even a burning house, and two kids who were both the last ones standing of their own pasts, and he starts to think "maybe itll be okay this time"

and THEN the murder arc happens. he comes face to face with his superman, the very best fighter they have, meeting his end. just every hope that had blossomed in his chest being torn out all at once, but thats his life and he keeps moving forward so he can take care of the rest of them. i always imagined that in the time it took for them to set up sebastians funeral that bard had a breakdown the first moment he was alone and not expected to do anything

even when sebastian is 'back alive' i imagine the dread cant go away, nawing at him again and making him see all of the phantom-fam's dead faces in his dreams. him waking up in the middle of the night and going to check on sebastian, who's usually awake and then has to deal with a worried bard nagging at him to sleep and refuses to leave until he does. he'll stay just a touch too long once he thinks sebastian is asleep, staring at him face and his chest to ensure he's breathing and there with him before going to sleep in his own bed

and then the campania arc happens :) where sebastian and ciel miraculously survive a sinking ship but sebastian is ACTUALLY wounded for realsies so he probably looked like shit when they got back to the manor on top of ciel being sick af from asthma. in my heart of hearts bard became the full on commander of the manor for like a week, having mey-rin and tanaka take care of ciel while he forced sebastian to let bard take care of him. sebastian figures out just how annoying someone who cares for him can really be, but he was ordered to rest so he cant even really fight him on it

i could go on and on tbh but ill stop the rambling here i just think about these two a lot lately and esp bard, the poor dude has to be hanging on by a thread

[team7-headquarter]

I think there are very little opportunities where we got to see the different intelligences of og team 7 at the same time, reinforcing each other in a fight.

I'm talking about Sasuke's battle IQ and Naruto's attack creativity and Sakura's pattern recognition, perfectly combined under Kakashi's leadership.

I think it'd have helped a lot to stablish their bond as a team, to show how they all contributed to the dynamic in different yet equal degree, how they're fundamental in their own ways.

We got to see almost every other team actually working together as one —it's like the protagonist status of team 7 robbed them of that chance, as ironic as it sounds. The love triangle certainly had something to do with it, since it isolated them by pairs and prevented them from neutrally engaging in their fight dynamic. Whenever Sakura was in a battle with them, it was all about the differences between how they saw her and she was used to strengthen the Sasuke-Naruto narrative. Even for Kakashi, he was used either to pick a side or the other between Naruto or Sasuke, or protect the kunoichi of the group as the narrative way to keep her alive in the story.

Yet, it worked pretty well in pairs. Sasuke-Naruto, Sakura-Sasuke, Naruto-Sakura, Kakashi with any of them... They are instances in both the classic and shippuden when we are shown how well they can complement each other during duo-works.

The only other team with a love triangle that can be compared to the Team 7 is Team Minato. And as we saw, they didn't last. Without their sensei to protect them, Obito and then Rin died, something that Kakashi saved Team 7 from multiple times. The one time we're shown Team Minato in perfect synergy is during the Fourth Shinobi War, where Rin is already dead so she can freely participate, even if only for a second or two.

You'd thought the fight against Kaguya would be that moment, right? With Kakashi leading, Sasuke and Naruto jumping to seal Kaguya, while Sakura blocks her only escape route. However, there's a level of disconnection there, deepened by the way Sasuke and Naruto leave to fight each other and isolate Kakashi and Sakura once more, allowing them to participate only after is over.

It's clear that —through their many issues— Team 7 love each other, care about each other, consider each other precious and loved people. It's cristal clear that they are all powerful and smart in their own ways, some of the best shinobis in the world. Then again, the main flaw of Kishimoto's writing is how incoherent he can be, saying one thing but showing another. That's why many fans disagree and fight, because some consider what is said to be the canon, while others consider only actions.

I'd like to see a moment of complete teamwork between them. A fight where Sasuke creates an attack plan based on Sakura's input and counting with Naruto's creativity to pull it off, with Kakashi coordinating the details. You can even have the duos, with Sakura and Kakashi observing on the sideline so they can warn Sasuke and Naruto as they fight. You can even add Sai and Yamato as the perimeter guards, making sure to comfine the battle so it won't hurt anyone outside, or taking care of the fleeing enemies.

But then again, maybe it's just me.