#i think im not too familiar with the bible

[starscream-is-my-wife]

God dam a Sunstorm and Galvatron sparkling would be terrifying unless the concept of two negatives make a positive take effect.

Anon you have given me the most cursed idea

If Rung is Robot Jesus then is Sunstorm Mary??

[bucephaly]

🎧!

Glowing by The Oh Hellos

But I bet when you can't find an edge By a map half-written It could feel like the end to have to keep going

[mxtantrights]

Omg, girl!! Im the one who requested the "enemies" to lovers with Jason Todd one, and GIRL. I loved it. Was better than i was expecting. Please, write part two!( kiss scene? Hehe)Or a whole Bible if you want. Honestly, i only said a "quick" one because i was trying to be polite, didn't want to push or anything lol.

Anyway, thank you for writing my request!!

thank you soo much!! <333 this is a second parter to this post, but it can be read as a stand alone. hope you enjoy it as much as I liked continuing it!!

The kiss happens in two parts. Not to say that you can carefully dissect it into two parts, but that the kiss almost happens once and then it finally does, kind of.

Once when the two of you are on mission. In a slimy dive bar in some redacted location. You've been following your mark all day and ended up here. He's slinging back cheap shots of an off brand liquor as you and Red watch from the roof of the place.

He's been followed all day and hasn't made you once, which is a good thing. Or a bad thing. So you and Red decide to switch it up. There was no need to drag it out any longer. You could confront him and get the info you needed.

That was the plan.

Until the two of you were about to corner your mark. You were waiting on the street and Red was on the other side of it. It was going well until all of a sudden he met up with a familiar face. Falcone. Red pulled off his side of the street quickly and met up with you.

He doesn't say much. He doesn't say anything at all as he takes your arm and drags you around the wall of a store. You have half the mind to question him but you don't. Until he starts taking off the bottom part of his mask.

You try to stop him, but he crowds into your space. He whispers a very clear apology for being too close to you. And then he explains that him being here, would be a dead give away to Falcone. He might blow up whatever plans he has.

Both of you can hear them walking your way. And the only thing you can think of is apologizing to Red before fitting his fcae right into your neck. In the darkness of the night no one can really see his helmet. Or both of your suits.

They walk by without any second thought to the two of you. And you wait about five seconds before telling Red he was okay to pick his head up from your neck.

The drive to he motel was awkward to say the least.

The second time is when you're in the middle of changing in said motel. It's the last night of the mission. You're just about ready to go home to your comfortable bed and front door that has more than one lock.

Red is in a room on this floor. But the two of you haven't run into each other outside of your masks. It's weird. Like weird as in, it probably should have happened by now, but it hasn't. You think to yourself maybe the universe isn't ready to answer that question yet.

With a towel wrapped around your body you're about to start changing into your sleep wear when you hear something odd. A pop coming from outside. Then another one.

You grab your firearm and go over to the door. You look through the peep hole and see nothing. But you know you heard something. So you open the door , just to peek your head out. And at the right time too.

All of a sudden you see a tall man, white streak of hair, coming your way. He's wearing sweatpants and a black muscle tee. Once he makes eye contact with you, he starts running your way. You don't have time to close the door before he's standing in your face begging you to kiss him.

He's out a breath, and he's practically begging at this point. You're not about to kiss a random man. But when you hear the following footsteps you know he is in danger.

So you agree. And this guy apologizes to you in advance as he leans you against your door and cradles the back of your head with his hand. You almost sort of melt into the kiss. Just for a second. only for a second actually.

Because you realize, the way this man just apologized for what he was about to do, is the same way Red apologized to you the other night. And your brain feels like it's on fire because you realize this isn't some random man. This is Red.

This is Red and you know what he looks like. And he definitely knows it you because your'e the same person he saved in the alleyway in Gotham. Coincidences like that don't happen. Especially when you kind of hinted at it with the first word you said to him as a civilian.

🏷️ @12134z03

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Hey so you know how you made Dick speak sanskrit in your fic? lives in my head rent free.

Why did he not speak romanian. how far back in the historical timeline was his clan(??? idk how to translate the word im thinking of into english but its “ନକ୍ଷ୍ୟତ୍ର”/ “ଗୋତ୍ର”) separated from the rest? How was it not prakrit? Were his parents just trying to reconnect to their roots? Did he learn it from his parents or was it learned while trying to connect with his roots? Does he ever realise that any songs and texts are all religious? Is HE religious with how many words in sanskrit straight up reference god?Does he feel alienated with how his culture is romani but his language is indian? Does he ever realise theres only one village in the world that speaks sanskrit as a native language and its over 13,000 km away? Does it get lonely realising that even damian’s knowledge of languages cant cover it?

Im sorry for ranting but my struggle to reconnect w my culture has me projecting HARD 😭

OH BOY- I have been avoiding some asks (because I haven't had the mental strength to give each the time and love response they deserves I swear im getting to yall) But THIS one was just far too good to pass (and im bored as hell in class)

I would say I do dive a little more into my headcanon culture stuff involving Dick and even Damien in Mama Bird (which again I REALLY NEED TO UPDATE)

BUT Let the rambling begin <33

Why does he speak Sanskrit in the fic vs any other language? Simply it was the closest language I could trace similar roots to Romani ancestery too that was easily acsessible dictionary/translator that I could use in my writings.

Canonically he probably WOULD speak a dilect of Romani or Prakrit etc, but in my desperate trying to look into the language and culture half of the resources I came upon were incredibly racist even for someone who had no idea about the culture before then.

How far back in the historical timeline was his clan??? (Clan/Tribe/Family are good english translation's) Im not familiar enough with Romanian clans to assign a specific one (Though from my understanding of research, The Grayson family would be desenced from Romani people lineages that used to reside in the Indus Valley region- yet another reason for the use of Sanskrit)

Were his parents just trying to reconnect to their roots? Did he learn it from his parents or was it learned while trying to connect with his roots? I havent thought into this TOO much, but i'll say as a headcanon that his family felt a great pride in their culture as some of the lucky few who could maintain their nomadic lifestyle with the circus. His Mother was probably less connected (only knowing from her grandparents sort of thing) and rediscovered her roots after meeting his Father who was VERY in tune with his culture.

And as such tried their best to reclaim those roots and share them with Dick. So yes he learned from his parents- but they were still fully connecting themselves.

Does he ever realise that any songs and texts are all religious? Is HE religious with how many words in sanskrit straight up reference god? This is more projection but as someone who grew up in the bible belt, (Translation- American southern region nicknamed "The bible belt" because of how ingrained the Christian Faith is in both religious practice and general culture) Dick is less belief religious and more culturally religious- he will use religious phrasing, have some habits/beliefs FROM religious background without being fully invested, and even some things he doesn't realize are heavily religious until pointed out.

Aka religious pratices in the way of how your mother would teach you to put knifes in the dishwasher upside down (so they wouldnt be as much of a hazard) but something you do because its how you were told instead of thinking about the WHY as much.

Does he feel alienated with how his culture is romani but his language is indian? Does he ever realise theres only one village in the world that speaks sanskrit as a native language and its over 13,000 km away?

Now this is more complicated, I don't know much about circus life (though I do actually have a friend I can ask so might change this later) But from what I know its a VERY mixed enviornment so Dick was both entrenched in his cultural lifestyle as a nomad with his parents proudly sharing their roots, while also being exposed to dozens of other cultures that were also "his".

Aka- Dick is an amalgamation of culture to the point he both belongs in more ways than most people could ever have, and yet feels completely isolated as a result since no one else understands why he gets upset when people wish him Happy Birthday early, why he always dumps the first steep of tea, why he "pays respects" to his bike and tools, why he sets aside food just to be thrown out, etc etc

Its nice, to be able to connect with people over so much, but at the same time it sucks when his family points out "weird habits" that he hadnt even realized were strange. (Thankfully after a few long talks, people stopped commenting on Dicks habits, anyone who does faces the wrath of the Batclan and just about every Hero from Metropolis to the edge of the Milky way)

Does it get lonely realising that even damian’s knowledge of languages cant cover it?

Actually Batfam DOES know some Sanskrit just by exposure of living with Dick. The one who knows the most is probably Alfred since he was the one dealing with the rambunctious kid who would get frustrated with instructions he didnt understand (and that frustration only getting worse for English being like 5th or so language)

None of them are anywhere near fluent though, but I like to think Dick has a pen pal/friends he practices with. Also because he's terrified of losing his proficency and in turn, losing another part of his culture his parents tried so hard to give to him.

And No need to apologize! Like I said, im an outsider looking in from a very different culture but I loved reading (what little good sources I could find) about this topic. Of course if you have any insights/comments/crituqes I would love to hear about them and thank you for the ask!!

[giyrut-girlie]

(queer) jews in my phone i need help/love

this is a long ass post im so sorry lmfao, im putting it in under the cut to save you all but also if people have head space pls read <3

on friday night, i found myself the last of the shabbat guests (who weren't staying the night) at the Rabbi's house. i had asked my housemate to pick me up at 10:30, but everyone else left before 10.

the kids and rabbi's wife had gone to bed, so it was me, the Rabbi, and two older frum guys who stay over shabbat most weeks to be closer to shul.

for some context, earlier in the evening one of these guys had asked another dinner guest (a med student who I'm good friends with, she's a year or two younger than me) whether trans issues came up in her study. the two of us youngins made brief "help me" eye contact and she answered saying that yes, they did cover trans issues given that as a doctor she will, at some point or another, treat trans patients. the subject was changed, but the room was a bit tense.

so: 10pm, i'm sitting at the table, a little tipsy from all the wine, just hanging out until my ride comes.

the rabbi says "hey ella, i have a question for you now that everyone else (by which he means the not-so-frum people) is gone." and i Just Knew what he was about to ask.

i won't go into extreme detail about the actual conversation, but to sum it up: I was asked my opinion on trans folk, i said that i am supportive and do in fact believe trans people about their identities and was Shut All The Way Down. if i cited statistics i was told that actually they'd seen the opposite, if i tried to explain a study i was familiar with, i was told that they didn't think that was true. i actually don't know how i stayed calm, bc my mind and body were telling me that i was Unsafe basically the entire time (thanks anxiety disorder really did me a solid there /s).

eventually 10:30 rolled around and i had a get out of jail free to skip the rest of that fuck awful conversation, and my housemate was very nice to listen to my debriefing. while talking to her i came to the realisation that one of the main factors in the disagreement was that the rabbi didn't actually value the wisdom of any cultures/teachings/histories outside of judaism. if I talked about sistergirls of the torres strait, or māhū of hawai'i, that was dismissed essentially as goyische nonsense.

this whole conversation has been a Fucking Downer for my mental health. i actually broke shabbat (beyond my usual one melacha to be in the clear and sneaky housemate taxi service) that night bc my thoughts were racing too much to sleep without putting on some comfort media.

but beyond the mental health stuff (though probably actually very related) i've found myself really struggling with judaism since friday night. having my rabbi, who has been helping me through conversion, and who i have really valued as a teacher, and the only two other frum people in the community be so overtly transphobic all at once has really taken me for a spin. like, my rabbi is a lubavitcher, i knew that he was going to be fairly conservative about some stuff, but he literally told me that he only uses the correct pronouns for one of our community members as a "personal favour", and essentially told me that she was good evidence against trans acceptance bc nothing she could ever do would ever make her not a man (and you better believe this involved a lot of comments about her appearance)

to put the icing on the cake, when i dropped off his kids today (i nanny for them once a week), he handed me a book that upon research is basically the jk rowling talking point bible. he said to me that it was a really good book for me to read and that it might help fight some of the "mob mentality" (interesting term for scientific consensus but okay)

(also i had actually looked up my own citations from the discussion later and found myself to be very much correct in my recitation of statistics, but you better believe i wasn't petty enough to forward them on)

ANYWAY if anyone is still reading i'm fucking bummed and super anxious about interacting with my community, my conversion, finding the balance between really truly wanting to pursue an orthodox lifestyle and also being queer myself etc etc

i live in a really small jewish community and can't really leave until i finish my degree in 2026, so i can't exactly just find a more accepting rabbi or shul.

anyone have any advice, or just some solidarity for feeling shitty in this space? love u jews in my phone xx

[k4txlulzz]

i headcannon dick grayson to be PARTIALLY georgian/kartveli/ქართველი:3 (and no i don't mean the state i mean the COUNTRY in the caucasus region) because i like projecting a lot and its how i show love for my favorite characters tehee🤭 ANYWHO if i recall correctly his dad is non-romani in the current canon (he's white american i think?) so i just made him georgian instead! that makes grayson romani from his mom's side and georgian from his dad's side; im leaving the stuff with his romani heritage as it currently is in canon because i dont think its my place to really get into all that cuz im not romani myself

but i AM georgian so i'll just portray a part of his character that i know best<3 just want to focus on what im 100% educated on and familiar with cuz again, its not my place to portray something i dont have experience with/am not part of

i have a ton of other little headcannon tied to this and the main one is that bruce is also georgian + since wine is an incredibly important part of our culture (its what we are known for) and there are a ton of georgian wine companies, in my hc bruce inherited a very successful huge wine making business! i felt that if i made bruce georgian too it would connect them more and it did!! they talk to each other in georgian often + at first bonded over "the knight in the panther's skin" aka "ვეფხისტყაოსანი"/"vepkhistkhaosani" which is an huge epic poem that is like a second bible to us, i got the idea for dick's georgian name from there<3 one of the characters is named avtandili (ავთანდილი) and he's my favorite + reminds me of grayson sometimes so i just went with that! plus it suits him; i headcannon that bruce and dick would quote this epic poem to each other often:) OH AND speaking of bruce !! his georgian name would be abesalom/აბესალომ and the georgian version of his last name wayne would be-vakhtangishvili/ვახტან��იშვილი

bonus hc->wally is georgian(at least partially) as well and his georgian name is vazha/ვაჟა

[leynaeithnea]

Question

Are there other musicals that you like a lot ? ( If yes you're very welcome to yap about them 🙃 )

Im so behind on musicals ngl lmaooo and none of the ones I've watched ever caused such hyperfocus obsession as Epic, back in 2020 (?) I listened a LOT to hamiltion, its a really great musical, "Who lives who dies who tells your story" still makes me tear up as well as "quiet uptwn", and im still avoiding phillips songs, "Wait for it" is probably one of my favorite songs because a lot of the time I can really relate to Burrs sentiment, and "dear theodorisa" is so beautiful....mmhh, many many good songs there! could probabyl ramble a bunch more abotu them, but my love for them dont reach as deep as for epic i also like some songs from a few other musicals, evan hansen (they accompanied me a lot through 2021) , be more chill, heathers, .....OH yeah i love hazbin hotel, thats a lot of fun, but yeah for those kind of except hazbin bc its a show, i just tend to pick out my favorite songs and im not too much into the rest of them mhhhh besides that Ive been going to musicals and plays with my family for as long as i can remember to some local stages, theres a big-ish small one near my moms where we went regularly for years with elementary school and in private and at my dads we would go to the christmas play/musical almost ever year at the local stage there with my whole family there I miss that tbh, i gotta do that more often since im watching Casper and Mortius a lot right now who do a lot of muscial content im probably going to get to know a few others soon, like hadestown (been aware of it for a while but never really got into it) and SIX Oh I forgorrr, sometime around christmas or so a concept album for a christian musical came out and i was obssessed with that for a week or two, the vocals in that are REALLY good, its called "Of Ashes", and its a retelling of the leper and uh...a story about a whore...? (...yeah no im not that familiar with the bible) im also not that religious or christian but it rly is a great musical and has some amazingggg vocals my obssesion with epic makes me realize i shouldve really been a theatre kid, i was a choir kid up until 10th grade and i really miss that but i rly love acting, i just need a LOT of practice and i also suck at improvisation....im..trying, but its a looot easier when i have a script I can follow, thats why acitng out epic wiht my friend was so fun! bc i knew what was coming and because we didnt really discuss it long beforehand so stagefright and overthinking about being perceived didnt kick in seigjseg ...and it was just the two of us so that helped too...ANYWYA yeah i gotta go to cultural events like choir and theatre stuff soo much often and try to get active in them myself... pfffttt, here i was thinking my response to this would be very short bc "i dont know that many other musicals" .....thank you for the ask 💗

EDIT: the one BIG Stage Musical i watched was "starlight express" as a kid, that was a LOT of fun, i gotta go to one of these again

[gibbearish]

something i need to clarify a bit: the point i was making here is not that bigoted christians are sitting there literally thinking "the bible says gay people are bad and that heaven is real, but if gay people aren't bad then the whole bible is wrong and heaven is fake, and im scared of that so gay people have to be bad." the fears and beliefs i'm talking about here are deeply subconscious. the way each individual person looks at the world is a complicated web of connecting ideas, towers of beliefs stacks on top of each other, "if x is true, then that means y, and if y is true then that means z," branching on and on and on, stringing back so far that you might never even know two disparate ideas were connected. it takes a lot of work mapping out how you see the world, and it's a process that doesn't come naturally to pretty much anyone. and why would it? you can't see the inside of your own eyes.

but sometimes. sometimes you look at a bright sky and you can see the floaters, and it hits you harder than ever before that you are a complicated web of meat and goo and electricity. and you laugh it off with a "haha how weird is it that we're really just jello inside a skull", but there is a tightness in your sternum as you say it. you wonder if this is what it feels like to lie to yourself, and pretend that you don't know the answer. you wonder if anyone else feels it looming there too.

and then, you pay attention. and you start to realize something. you start to realize that... yeah, actually. other people do feel it. come to think of it, sure seems like right near everybody feels it. and so... you stop laughing. you stop pretending. you turn around and look, give a name to your fear. and it takes so much work and is terrifying and you don't want to look at it but you know it's never going to go away so you might as well get it over with so at the very least you can stop running from it. you would wonder how other people manage to spend their whole lives never facing it (you still do when you can't help it), but you know why. of course you do. it hurts to look at, hurts to think about, hurts to name, but it hurts just as much trying desperately, fruitlessly to balance the towers in your mind as it gnaws away at the bases, and so you must. you look because there is no other option. you look because you are afraid. you give it a name and hope that something good will come of it, that in naming it you can help name it for others, too.

and sometimes it doesn't work. sometimes the towers others have built are so tall and the supports so strong that everything you try to say falls on deaf ears, and they twist your words into something entirely unrelated so they don't have to face it, so they don't have to give it a name yet. but sometimes it does work. sometimes the people in your phone leave you little notes saying it helped them heal from a hurt they didn't know was there, and you feel... proud. you are still afraid and it still hurts and sometimes you wish you never bothered to look at it in the first place. but only sometimes.

make no mistake, this post may be specifically about christians, but there is a scared little kid buried deep inside all of us. and step one to learning how to find that kid in others is finding them within yourself first. a scared animal will lash out in self defense. just because you cant see what theyre afraid of doesnt mean they aren't afraid. why do you think i'm so familiar with it?

smth i think ppl who werent raised christian need to understand is that a) fear of death will make you do things you wouldnt otherwise do and b) being raised christian fundamentally kneecaps your ability to process death. most christians are the way that they are because if the bible isnt true, if god isnt real, then neither is heaven. if there is no heaven, then all their loved ones who have died arent actually waiting for them, there is no place theyll get to spend forever with the people they love now, there is no eternal reward for being good, there is no guarantee of any afterlife whatsoever. and as science progresses and christianity becomes harder and harder to maintain, as various claims in the bible get disproven and we learn more about how life actually came to be, that possibility that Death Might Actually Be Something They Have To Fear After All gets stronger, and so that protection of the idea must get stronger too. the bits of the bible that are too hard to defend have to be removed or papered over or talked around, the rules that dont make sense have to be explained or maintained without question, the people who dont believe must be agents of satan sent to damn their soul to hell. the way they learned to cope with death is to say it didnt happen, not really, not in a way that mattered, theyre still out there somewhere, youll see them again someday. and with that came a promise that their death wouldnt be permanent either. it all has to be true, that heart has to be maintained, because otherwise. otherwise, this is it, and we dont know what happens next. otherwise, death becomes scary again. otherwise, death is no longer the loading screen before your eternal reward. otherwise, they have to think about what might come next, how their actions affect others here and now, fully grieve the people theyve lost, grieve the eternal life of happiness and love they were promised from birth. and that is. hard. and while obviously none of this excuses the way they treat people, i do think that like. keeping that in mind during interactions with them, being aware of how high the stakes are for them, can very much effect the way you approach those conversations.

at the heart of every horrible christian with bigoted views and worse actions is a scared little kid who doesnt know where you go when you die, because the answer they were given when they first asked is turning out to be full of holes. and while you may not be able to work with the adult in front of you here and now, maybe you can at least find that little kid for a moment. maybe you can sit down with them and say yeah bud, that is pretty scary, isnt it? it's scary not knowing what's gonna happen to you. it's scary learning something you thought was true might not be. maybe you can tell the kid that theyre allowed to be scared, that being scared doesnt have to mean hurting others. and maybe the kid wont listen, maybe youll have wasted your time, who knows. but maybe not. and even if you did, youll have learned something about how to find that kid in others, so was it really a waste?

[junglehomo]

i just got to sing again

theyve been quieter lately

i like to sing to stim

it's one of my things

vocal stimming

i like screamo songs and i like r n b

i love singing along in the car i love karaoke even if its bad

its like you cant be 100% sad or mad singing something

i like to practice it until I remember the words if it's a song i really like or if its fun to sing it

i really wanted to start a screamo band when i was a kid

but nobody wanted to do it or nobody really knew drums lol

people were jealous and didnt want to put me on to anyone

i used to want to start a music channel too where i just did covers because

not to toot my horn, but a lot of screaming these days is ass

like kids are getting it wrong ? or idk

like mixing 90's punk with what they want to be 2006 hardcore

and they just butcher it and sound like grandmas on ventilator

it took me years even through transitioning to

get there

my biggest idol was Oliver Sykes of bring me the horizon

his style was the best to me also his voice

but up until...2015 to me

i stopped listening after thats the spirit.

before he had to alter his style to save his vocal cords

I'm very good at the whole album of Count Your Blessings it's like my bible

I really like death metal but not as familiar

suicide silence is another good point of reference for me

but i have yet to find people who also live in that decade or era

i dont know anyone who is mentally still in 2008 lol

to get that ssound im talking about that mood

the partying the drinking the weird emo emulation of "70's 80's rock n roll glam rock hard core" like really weird

people wanted to be aerosmith but

were doing emo and screamo but it was so dope it was so cool and all the genres mixed too

like people werent so stuck on clothes like they are now.....

the type of music u listened to through your headphones and what blared outside the plastic to the person next to you

was what made you cool and was the accessory

i had to walk to the mall or bike

to go to hot topic and buy the cd's in real life with my hands and with cash

that was the aesthetic

bc it was harder to obtain it was all for the love of the genre and music and the bands

not "i wanna look like" "where to buy"

people did want to emulate models back then or what we now call "influencers"

they were on myspace

ndyou had to go on the PC or Apple clam shell if ur rich or dell hp whatever

and go on myspace . com

and friend them and post your photos of yourself you downloaded from your digital camera

which you plugged into the computer or laptop via usb and dragged the file onto desktop to post to myspace or facebook

going home was part of going on social media

until Ipod touch and Blackberry

then it kind of changed but you still needed wifi public wifi which wasnt as available or good

so it would tale hours to post sometimes lol

the new music would be found on youtube thru a music video the artist posted or audio version etc

to be fair , there was "hype" brands at the time for scene and emo people. Like DROP DEAD and i think SKELANIMALS Lmao SANRIO . but not as over saturated as it was today

also not really represented on TV at all much

there was Tila Tequila ashlee simpson MTV

the aesthetic was in cartoon network shows like

adventure time

it's "quirky" it's "random XD"

this is where i go in my mind when i listen to this music lol

i am a millenial. I am RandomxD

these people dont understand I dont get these serial killer ipad children..............

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[herecomesmary]

I wrote this when I was seventeen.

One of my favorite paintings is called Fallen Angel, by Alexandre Cabanel. He was a french artist from the academicist movement and painted this piece in 1823. It shocked the public the first time it was exposed. That was cause it was, in fact, the fist time someone represented, in this particular way, the Devil. I find it curious, the shock, considering the devils probably one of the most registered figure in history. But everything about this painting is different from any other representation the Devil had before, at least that im awere of, and the people that first saw the work too, probably, if we consider their reactions. The key's that the Fallen Angel's the picture of an actual angel. The classic figure the church and the bible describe, the beautiful and perfect figure that we imagine and associate with the human countenance in some ways. And thats the controversial thing about the piece. Also why, sometimes, when im alone and I think about it specifically.

According to the bible Lucifer was the most gorgeous and perfect angel, the favorite son of the one that supposedly is the father of e everything. He defys his controller father that, outraged by his bravery to simply ask a question, throws away his most beloved child without secound thoughts. "What kind of love is that?" was the first thing I thought when came across that image. And Lucifer falls down from heaven. I imagine a long and fast fall. And right after he hits the ground. Trys to stand but can't do it properly so he sits. Thats the moment Cabanel painted. The story tells that everything happened that way. The bible says it. Simultaneously, historicaly the most common imagetic representations of the Devil, the fallen angel, the one with many names, are grotesc. A monstrous figure with horns, surrounded by fire and blood. Suffering and making every pagain soul suffer as well, for eternity. It took a long time for me to realize that was the same character that, at the beginning of the story, was the most flawless and loved angel. The contrast was huge. So here we have two very specific and crucial moments: the first when Lucifers the most pure creature and the secound one when he became the opposite.

I became aware of the Devils story when i asked my father about it, age six or seven. We aint religious, so i was already a child capable of comprehend a certain level of complex information when questioned him about the subject. He told me what the book said happened. And i asked how a father can kick out their son from home like that. I dont remember what he answered. The arise of the Devil, as a story, got stuck with me since then. Also, my many interpretations of it. In my head there was a gap between the perfect angel figure and the horrible creature with horns, a missing link between both that could explain this transition, from one image to another. Like the missing link on human evolution.

When i first came across Cabanels work i paralized. It was like finding this entry in a dictionary that you've been looking for so long. There it was. My answer. The moment i thought about in this story that everyone seemed to ignore and i couldnt. And he was beautiful. Perfect. The very first secound i noticed his eyes were one of the most intense experiences ive ever had in my life. Like having your first kiss when you're young. The waterlines blush red. The single tear. His brows flexed. The single tear. If you look for art criticism or analyzes you'll find out that the classic interpretention to his expression remits to anger. Once i saw something mentioning the feeling of the beginning of a revenge odyssey. When i stared at his eyes for the fist time, i felt resentment, loneliness and hurt. Like when you have a broken heart. The most unespected one. That came from the love you thought was unconditional.

And i know i interpreted that way cause i recognized that. I found that expression so familiar i could feel the heat coming up to my chest, and my cheeks burn. And it was sublime and scary to connect with a work with this intensity, all at the same time. Like being dragged by a violent wave but in warm water and let yourself sink in for a bit. Those eyes explained everything. And i could think about myself doing the same gaze, the times i had this reaction. With a single tear, too, cause i never cry in front of other that i dont know well. This paint was the physical register of one of my most familiar feelings and now i had no choice but embrace it.

Lucifers eyes became mine. At that moment. And through them i could enter the rest of the image the made my internal self tremble and the borders of my body stay still. I was turning into him and he was turning into myself at the same time. I wanted to hold him and be hold. Slowly the heat that hit my chest started to cold down as i noticed the body of the angel in front of my sight. The flawless anatomy, though obviously i didnt missed, wasnt what definitely caught my attention. I became completely absorbed by his skin. And the reason wasnt the smooth texture, neither the pale tone. It was the temperature. If you recall basic color theory you can assure that it have everything to do with temperature and, of course, thats true. But the freezing sensation i had looking at his skin was like watching someone diving under the ice. And I was afraid he could die from being so cold and with him, as we were havind this symbiotic moment, i would die too.

In the middle of this fear, loosing warm and felling the tips of my fingers getting colder, i felt his feathers. Through my gaze i could feel the silky body structure that shines, in such a unique way. You have to lean on a bit to the front to see but each feather of Lucifers wings is different. They have singular tones acordding to the position they're placed. As the light hits they turn different colors, like the kaleidoscopes i used to make when i was a child and already unconformed about reality. And you can feel like thats the only thing preventing him from being completely exposed and vulnerable. Like i already was at this point and couldnt protect myself anymore. There wasnt a single apparatus that could cover my fragility. And i was even more aware of that when the other angels in the sky started to bother me deeply.

When you manage to take your eyes out of Lucifer and look up a bit you can see the other angels. Flying. I cant count how many of them are there, though, only three actually seem to be looking down at their brother, fallen down, renegaded by their father. With expressions resembleing pity, sadness, a iner fear of the father, thinking about the possibility of anything similar happening to them, obedience, conformity, but never compassion. The others have turned their back to him, like its not their concern, and even seem to play cheerfully while flying in the blue sky, unaware of Lucifers state. As trying to hide or establish self preservation, he puts his arms in front of his face, both hands together. All muscles tense, like his expression. Strength to handle being looked at and at the same time not being trully seen. As i havent being trully heard.

I thought i could understand so completely that pack full of uncontrollable feelings at this point, i was almost fully absorbed by the piece. Cause even when i was inside his heart, cause he wears it on his sleeve and you can access it so easily if you're willing to, i still felt a veil that didnt allowed me to see everything, also so familiar this veil was. Like when somethings happening in my head and, at the same time, i let it escape through my face but keep the deepest stuff in the most dark places of my soul so no one can find it till i show them. It was the same thing, for me.

I wonder if, one day, ill find someone that can see the same things I see on Cabanel's Fallen Angel, so I know im not completely lost projecting myself on his shadow.

[electraslight]

ive been indulged.... i want to preface this w the more biblical allusions are probably 100% unintentional and im just putting one of my interests onto another, as ya do, and, in my opinion, it's way more funny if you interpret them as Belos kinassigning everyone he knows bible characters bc he sees himself as a christ figure, but thats not to say they arent there, the most obvious thing being Luz, literally a child of light who turns into a horned demon at one point and has a shape changing snake familiar. There's also the Whore of Babylon reference in Eda, a woman with gray hair bedecked in gold and scarlet color, who rides on a king of beasts and is refered to as 'the great city who reigneth over the kings of the earth' (Revalation 17:18), which is a little more obscure but hey, the Whore is a favorite of mine and i have to shoehorn her in. Caleb Wittebane is a carpenter who is perpetually revived and is slain by one close to him, etc etc.

what i was thinking about today, since i was reminded of the story, was the tale of Blue Beard. Quick summary for non nerds: a woman marries a wealthy man called blue beard, and shes lavished with everything she could ever want, just as long as she never opens the doors of his castle. one day, curiosity gets the best of her, and she opens the doors to find mountains of corpses of other women, still covered in the gold he lavished them with. Blue Beard confronts her and says that this is the fate anyone meets if they open the doors, and it will be her fate now too, but before he kills her, she begs to say her last prayers, but in his hesitation she runs to the balcony and screams for help like a bird call, and knights nearby save her and kill blue beard.

I especially drew parallels between these stories because of the line from the Collector where he asks Belos if he creates the Grimwalkers just to break them again. Belos says he doesn't and it hurts him every time they betray him, but even though that's the truth, like in the story of Blue Beard, even if the controlling party desires that companion, their desire to control them and turn them into their ideal caged bird trumps all. Belos doesn't enjoy killing the people he created in the image of Caleb, but he also doesn't see them as people. He never even saw Caleb as a person, more of an ideal person that was faded white over time, more like a religious figure than a brother.

The other part I drew parallels with was one, of course the protagonist discovering the long line of death before them, but also the idea that they barely got out alive, and they only were able to escape due to the help of others. The theme of Bluebeard is that to change your situation, you must first open your eyes to it. When your eyes are open, you are in the most danger, but that also means you are the most likely to escape.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my obscure interest corner. I love folklore and theology lol but i dont get to express it a lot bc im mostly a fanartist, so this is fun. Fellow theologins feel free to correct or add your own paralells, and also, this isnt that serious, im just having fun

no one talk to me or else ill start infodumping about the owl house's references to european folklore and biblical stories, usually as an act of subversion or making fun of belos for caring so hard. (i know its not that deep but cmon. you think eda wouldnt love to call herself Mystery, Babylon the Great, the Mother of Harlots and Abominations of the Earth *explosion sound effects*) specifically lately ive been thinking about hunter and belos as an interpretation of the tale of blue beard

[papirouge]

im interested in converting to christianism but im confused as i dont know what are the differences between christians, catholics, orthodoxes and protestants. how do i chose? how do i know which one is the correct one? i heard there are also several different bibles? i got one free "the bible" in my non-christian country christians and i dont even know which version it is

Basically speaking, the biggest crux of opposition between Catholics and Protestans is that Catholics worship Mary, pray with idols and sustain the idea the Mary remained virgin AFTER Jesus birth, when the very two commandments and Matthew 12:46-50 contradict such positions😭 They also have a whole literature called Cathechism where they establish a set of rules and you'll often see Catholics pull it out to explain their doctrine...to defend their belief system going against what Bible explicitely condemns (ex: praying for the dead, idols, saints worshipping, etc).

Protestant have their whole share of questionnable beliefs too - especially USAmerican evangelicals. They're the ones who've been managing the church like a whole business - which is ironically what they've been accusing the Catholics of doing during the Roman Catholic Empire era lel. They don't have the same concern about social issues as Catholics do (in Europe, many NGO are Catholics, and help the poor, offer shelter, etc) ; they tend to be quite hypocrite too : like they'll go off against gays and abortion but will be silent about any social injustice they'll snarkily downplay as "woke culture".....

I'm not familiar with Orthodoxy but it comes off as Catholicism lite™️

And you don't have to "choose" any denomination, anon. There are thousands of Christian denomination, which is a heresy. There shouldn't be any divison within the Church. No denomination is "correct" in the sense that there shouldn't be any to begin with.

And yes, there are countless versions of the Bible. I often see debate of USAmericans as of which version is the best (King James Version, NIV, ESV, NASB, etc.) and all of this so.....pointless and tone deaf? 1 BILLION of Christian and there you have, a handful of self centered english speaking Americans arguing over one (1) version of the bible just because...?

Real talk anon: unlike what's often being said, the Bible can be altered. Look at the Jehova Witnesses. Seventh Day Adventists, Mormons.... Even during slavery, slave owners cropped some Bible passages (about freedom) to not give ideas to slaves....

Yes, the Bible is the Word of God, but these words on a paper can be altered and manipulated. The Bible isn't some sort of magical book turning any person reading it a Christian granted you read the "right" version. Some atheists have read the Bible more than actual Christians. I knew an agnostic Christian theologian student ; she was studying the Bible while not being Saved herself. Jehova Witnesses do think that "their" bible is the real deal. Same for Mormons or whatever other Christian sect.

That's why THE HOLY SPIRIT is so important. Because while human can twist and alter words written on a book, the Holy Spirit will never lie and no one can bend it over falsehood. That's precisely why Jesus is called "the Word" "made flesh" (John 1). By PRAYING and asking the Holy Spirit for guidance, you can be set free from the bondage of falsehood and He will guide you towards truth.

I've read/watched plentiful of testimonies from former Mormons/Jehova Witness/7th Day Adventist/witches/satanists, etc, etc and guess what? Not a single one said "I read the KJV version of the Bible and realized I was wrong". It just....doesn't work this way. They instead went to a point were they got troubled in their belief, prayed, and asked for the Lord to show them the way. This leap of faith happened because of the Holy Spirit ; the change of heart that changes us from sinners to repentance comes from God, not a Bible version.

You'll be good with your random Bible anon. It's already a blessing you've got one between your hands. Just rely to the Lord, not a name stamped Bible version to build a real relationship with God. First Christians didn't have any Bible to build up their walk with God (could they even read?). Yes, the Bible is extremely helpful, but it shouldn't be the be all and end all of Christianhood.

[hotbucket404]

hi! i saw a post of yours with your favorite artists and i saw andrew bird and hozier and mitski and i was wondering if you had any music recommendations/any cool music you’re listening to right now? <3

hi there!! im so glad you asked ive got a few recommendations:

the decemberists- indie folk/rock; VERY lyrical, lots of story songs. 'Picaresque' is a great starting album

shawn james- indie folk/blues rock; got me into hozier! he has a very blusey voice like hozier but its a lot louder lol, got a lot of bible references and greek mythology. 'Shadows' is a great folk album and 'Through The Valley' is a classic!

joanna newsom- indie folk; SHE PLAYS THE HARP!!!! i really love her music because shes a real storyteller and uses the harp in a lot of her songs. her songs can be quite long though, and you might find her voice a bit grating. 'Bridges and Balloons' is a really nice song about childhood stories! I'd recommend her whole album 'The Milk-Eyed Mender' (the songs aren't too long on it lol). shes not on spotify tho :(

beirut- folk pop?; they use a lot of traditional eastern european sounds which i love. 'Nantes' is a banger

sufjan stevens- indie folk; hes best known for making the soundtrack to call me by your name if youre familiar with that! 'Seven Swans' is a really good soft folk album, i think 'Abraham' is a really nice song with some biblical imagery

st vincent- indie pop; im specifically recommending her early work here, her first two albums have some really soft moments and can feel quite cinematic imo. 'All My Stars Aligned' rlly takes me places lol. id also strongly recommend this video which has her and andrew bird doing an acoustic concert in a house, its like a comfort video for me tbh

neko case- indie rock?; shes someone ive only been getting into recently but i feel like she kinda fits. she reminds me of mitski a bit. her song 'Star Witness' rlly hits and is a bit of a folky-dreamy vibe

ive also got a playlist with a lot of these artists on them if you want to check it out! i would go on about more artists but i dont wanna overwhelm you lol

hope you enjoy!

[heliosoll]

Do you think we are not meant to know were god? I used to be Muslim, and it was this things said like “when a human saw Allah and his true identity and his power he got blinded and he died” I think knowing im god is making me mad? Idk I think it’s too much knowledge I feel like im alone and I feel like im not supposed to know this, I need someone to talk about this but Ik if I tell a therapist or my mom or friend about this, they’re gonna think I’m crazy. I don’t know what to do. Sorry for dumping this on you but I’m spiralling

Well, I think it really depends on how you look at it. Neville very much thought that people were supposed to know. He considered this a promise actually. I talk about it briefly here!

However, regardless of whether you consider yourself God, you're still manifesting. You don't need to acknowledge or even know this to manifest. We manifest every single moment of our lives! We literally don't stop. Neville didn't say that "to manifest you need to know you're god". He essentially believed that all humans were once God and that we sacrificed this knowledge to experience the 3D and that all people would "awaken" and know they are God.

This may be controversial in this community since it's very "religion bad" but you don't need to believe you're God. At least, not in the religious sense. Neville calls us God because that's honestly one of the best words to describe how manifestation works. Our assumptions create our reality. We are literally creators and we can change anything we want with a snap of our fingers. That's pretty Godlike huh? But still, while the word "god" is religious in nature, the true meaning of it within the law isn't. It's literally just a word that most people understand to mean "real fucking powerful creator". I fully believe that people can believe in whatever religion they want while still calling themselves God. I talk about this a little here if you're interested.

At the end of the day, what you're feeling is completely normal. A lot of people go through it! There are tons of people who know about the law and we're not all the same. Some people found relief in knowing they are God and immediately denounced whatever religion they grew up with. Others still found relief but also had a healthy relationship with their religion and wanted to keep believing in it. Others weren't religious at all and had a hard time believing in the law because let's be real, it can sound a little religiousy. And others who weren't religious found it easy because they separated the law from religion, even with the use of the word "God".

I know I kind of rambled on this one but I just want you to know that you're going to be okay. I know it can be confusing, you might feel like you're betraying someone/something. It's hard! And that's perfectly okay to recognize. I can't tell you what to believe or how to feel because that will be different for everyone. From what you're saying it does sound like you have some religious trauma to unpack.

I think you should try to divorce the word "god" from the concept of religion. Don't think of it as religious! It really isn't. Neville uses that word because he read the Bible and it was easy to explain the concept of manifestation to a bunch of american christians using stories and words that they were familiar with. Hell, it was easier for him to understand too. You can try to completely separate manifestation from religion or you can try to understand it using stories/lessons from the Quran. It's up to you! Whatever will make you feel better. And don't rush it either. Take your time and do what you have to do.

[enden-k]

i was wondering why i randomly thought of a title like ‘prince of dreams’ for a childe that dropped into ,, an opposite-of-the-abyss ig and came out of it ,,, (more struggling to explain) better…. as in maybe even an adepti-like defender of children’s hopes and desires rather than the center of chaos/harbinger, yada yada

then i realized i was thinking of dreamworks’ animated ‘king of dreams’ about that joseph guy in the bible smh

((( also if the prince of dreams AU doesn’t sound too ridiculous hehe i imagine childe like a sandman type character who guards kids while they’re asleep, chasing away nightmares, and his spirit-y presence comes with the calming noise of distant tides and whale (narwhal?) sounds… etc etc. a snezhnayan folk hero almost? )))

man my head’s really on dreamworks today huh!! but anyway love this blog! <3 <3

this sounds so nice!! the part where he guards childrens dreams and the whale and tide noises waa

im not familiar with this king of dreams (?) so i cant really add more thoughts to that if your AU is based on it, never saw that 😭 but the idea of childe being a defender or protector of childrens dreams and hopes is so lovely!! it doesnt sound ridiculous at all 💜

[space-city-traffic]

yet again im back on my bullshit so... (gazes with mixed feelings at the TV show Firefly) i could fix him.

my extremely long thoughts about my Own Personal Good Version of Firefly (with plenty of spoilers for the show and the movie) under the cut:

things that are getting axed first thing no question:

out with the whole “let’s add in a thin veneer of Chinese cultural aesthetics out of context for ~flavor~” deal. just no.

instead, let’s hire some actors from a bunch of different cultures and work with them to figure out how their characters would bring those cultures into space with them!! and also hopefully bring some experiences with immigration/alienation/travel into it, since the Whole Core of Firefly is about how humanity always brings our doomed and silly and stubborn and unique warmth with us even into the cold void where nothing is familiar or homey in the slightest.

let’s respect our sex worker character shall we?

i do appreciate that Inara’s work as a companion is described as legitimate and well respected in the show. however please stop having your captain and hero call her a wh*re every five seconds against her clearly expressed wishes and portraying this as just a totally acceptable thing

let’s be more respectful of our characters of color and also have some more diversity, shall we?

others have put it better than me but yeah, the way Zoe and Book are treated is very uncomfy, and the rest of the show is depressingly monochromatic. come on let’s do better.

stop the weird confederacy hat tips

again others have pointed these out with much more thoroughness than I could, but the names of some characters and locations, as well as some of the language used to describe the browncoats, has uncomfortably confederate vibes. instead i propose we very Clearly tip our hats to the Alliance equaling space capitalism instead! you can’t go wrong with space capitalism as a villain.

don’t! make! the! psychotic! character! violent!

listen i love River Tam with my whole heart. but you should absolutely not portray your only character with psychosis as violent because of that psychosis!!!!!!! and yeah, a huge part of her character is that her brain got fucked up by the alliance and so she hallucinates and is also a super ninja. but like. she doesn’t need to be a super ninja for her character to work, okay? the crew does not need to be scared of her for her character to work, okay??? more on this later bc it would take a lot of care and nuance to make her character work but i really think it can be done

things we are absolutely keeping:

found family tropes my fucking beloved

this should be self evident. this is why the show is as appealing as it is despite its flaws, at least in my eyes.

malcolm reynolds, the knight in dusty armor

there’s something so appealing to me about what Mal stands for. because at his core is this ridiculous, silly, stubborn, doomed devotion to what he thinks is important and right, a romantic idealism thinly covered by cynical cowboy platitudes that he thinks make his bleeding heart totally invisible. and he is so obvious and entirely incorrect. bless. this is a man who will do anything for his family, who charges into swordfights to defend his friend from a man who wants to turn her into an object despite having no clue how to hold a sword. at his worst, he starts brawls in bars just for the martyr’s thrill of being persecuted for supporting the right; at his best, he inspires downright religious belief from his crew because he represents a romantic and chivalrous and doomed dedication to the right thing over any practical concerns. and then he throws a “selfish” quip over it with 100% confidence that everyone fell for his clever distraction and believes him to be a dirtbag. he’s oblivious and ridiculous and god he makes me want to be a better person because he’s just so goddamned sincere. stupid, but sincere. 10/10 himbo. <3

Mal and Inara ultraslowburn friends to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to friends to...

there’s nothing i love more than a ship that’s just two people who know each other way too well, and they’re each the only one who knows the other well enough to call them out on their bullshit. the way Mal and Inara interact in the show sometimes makes me uncomfy but like. the core of their relationship has to stay.

space western aesthetic

i need the cows on a spaceship scene to stay like i need air okay

that sweet sweet religious shit

mal, who lost his faith in gd and a whole lot else during the war. who lost his faith in himself, and now feels he has to hide the part of him that still wants to be good, because he knows he can’t be anymore, and he feels like it’s embarrassing for a guy like him to want something so unattainable. who takes a preacher on board, and the preacher has lost something, too. the preacher has his own past, and his own questions. but not questions like the observant neurodivergent girl, the one who wants to interact with and understand this thing that’s so important to him, but it just doesn’t click with how her brain works and she feels like something needs to be fixed, either the Bible or herself. and Mal takes care of them all, and slowly, he begins to find gd again, not in a prayer but in humanity. humanity doesn’t need to be fixed, like the alliance thinks. the shining imperfect strawberry sweetness of it in his family’s smiles is something to be worshiped and served and devoted to. and he finds he has something to believe in again. (and his crew find that he’s given them someone to believe in, too. and maybe suddenly he’s a saint.)

and finally, my brilliant ideas as to what i would like to add:

TRANS WOMAN KAYLEE RIGHTS

listen her femininity is so important to me okay? it’s so thrilled about everything that’s pretty, from dresses to the spaceship’s electric innards, and it’s so non-traditional and grease stained until it’s not and it’s pink and ruffly and twirly, and she never sees any of it as a contradiction, because none of it contradicts, it’s all just her! her gender is warmth and love and prettiness, feeling pretty and appreciating the pretty and making her friends’ days pretty too.

i want us to find out she’s trans in that episode with the ball, and i want us to find out alongside Mal who just never asked or never realized. Kaylee gasps and squeals at the dress in the shop window and Mal makes an off handed, ill considered comment, and then... someone yanks him aside and hisses a few very significant words in his ear. and suddenly he remembers what the blue white and pink she painted all over the engine room means, and he knows he has something to make right. so he buys her that dress himself and lets her know just how pretty she looks, and when he walks into that ball with her displayed on his arm like something precious, he looks the proudest out of any man there. and she notices. for a few seconds, of course, until there’s chocolate, and ‘nara, and a chandelier—and some horrible girls, but she’s used to that, until—suddenly, she finds her people. a group of old men who light up when she jokes about compression coils and whack presumptuous boys who ask her to dance. they adopt her as a treasured granddaughter, and Mal is beaming at her like a proud dad, and she finds that one of her new elderly friends gazes a little too long at her bracelet, and so she gives it to xem and teaches xem a few new words, and... it’s a good day, huh? it’s a really good day. (of course, then the captain has to go and punch somebody in the face, but it was a real nice party up until then.)

also she and Simon are both transhet t4t im correct and you know it

time for a better River Tam

the first thing we’ve established is that this version of her is not unpredictably violent and the crew is not scared of her!!!! it makes no sense to take a kid who’s primarily brilliant, experiment on her brain, give her telepathic powers....... and tack on the fact that she also has super strength and speed and dexterity and what not, AND say that they programmed her to be super violent. no! no. not only is that extremely harmful rep, that’s also just stupid.

instead!! my version of River is in fact not terrifying to the crew, but is actually the one they feel safest around. River has always been totally blunt, she was one of those kids you could tell realllllly early was autistic, and she doesn’t like being disengenous at all. so you can always trust her to tell the truth and not play weird passive aggressive games or have any hidden agenda, which makes her just a really chill person to be around. also, one of her longtime special interests is music and dance, so whether or not she’s nonverbal on a given day, there will always be some sort of beautiful sound when she’s around. she does have the singing voice of a dying crow unfortunately but that’s ok bc Simon’s is even worse and they’re both incredibly competitive so you’ll at least get free entertainment out of the affair.

my version of River does have psychosis and hallucinations because of the trauma of the experiments, and they are really troubling to her. she and Simon work together to find ways to cope and meds that help, and it’s a process, but there are some things that help.

the only thing she gained from the academy was the ability to hear people’s thoughts and sense the future a little bit. and yeah, that led to her picking up a few spooky secrets at the beginning, which, yikes. and for a while, it was hard to figure out which voices were real and which were hallucinations. but around her friends, she always feels safe to ask “did you just think about triple cheese burritos or was that just a me thing?”, and they’ll always tell her the truth no matter how embarrassing their thoughts are, bc it’s important to all of them to respect her and help her sort accurately through what’s reality and what’s not. and bit by bit, she gets better and better at figuring out what kinds of things tend to be telepathy and what kinds of things tend to be psychosis, and that each one feels a little different. and because of the trust and respect and support of her found family she’s able to do that in a safe environment!!!

trans man Simon rights

listen i wanted to keep him as just a side note on Kaylee’s list but he is my son and he’s important to my heart so here goes

out on the outer rim where Kaylee’s from, gender ain’t much of a big deal, there’s an individualistic quality to life out there, and so if the trail you blaze is the trail of a woman or a man or neither or both, that’s respected even in the rare cases where it’s not outright encouraged. but in the inner planets, where competition and connections and public faces and family names are everything, you have to be what’s expected of you to survive. you can’t change your brand, you can’t be anything other than what your family planned for you since before you were born, it’s incredibly hard to survive in such a hyper competitive environment, and so your very identity becomes just a tool in how to market yourself for better success.

needless to say Simon (just as autistic as his little sister and also very trans) fuckin hated it there. but he was very good at it. correction: he was very good at his very specific field of STEM, good enough to where people stopped talking about how cute he looked in bows and started talking about how impressive his work was from a very young age. and his work had no gender. he could be whatever he wanted to in equations. so that was where he could express himself, and gd, he got so much praise for it, he never wanted to stop.

not until he discovered that his sister needed him, and ran away, and needed a disguise, and realized... suddenly, every stifling rule and prying eye was a million miles away. he was freefloating, freefalling, with none of the charted paths he’d been following all his life... so you know what? fuck it. he’s always enjoyed the name Simon. and since it’s not on any legal records, it’ll make him just that much more untraceable.

and on Serenity, starting over with new people who never knew him before his transition feels like an unbelievable blessing that just dropped right into his lap. he has to keep up the secrecy, he has to make sure they never find out who he used to be, because gd, it’s so nice when they look at him and say his name right, and he doesn’t know if he can handle losing that, not when it’s so new and so important to the person he’s finally becoming. but then one day, the unthinkable happens, the wanted posters for his arrest have an old name on them, they’re looking for the Tam sisters, and... nothing changes. the crew of Serenity could not give even a tenth of a percent of a fuck, and it doesn’t seem like they even know they’re supposed to. huh. that’s new. Simon could get used to that, he thinks.

i’m sure there’s more i could add, but it’s 4:30 in the morning now, so if more occurs to me, ill simply add it in a reblog tomorrow. if you’ve read down this far, i am in love with you. please let me know your Better Firefly ideas, too, bc im always down to yell about this show!!!