#i think im fucking sick of this ive had to miss class ive had days where im just nonfunctional because of this shit

[fappellmoan]

i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there

[kibty]

why do steriods (the ones u take for illnesses) Like That. Why does it make me cry so fucking much oh my god i cried 6 times in the span of like 6 - 8 hours 😭😭

[teenagefeeling]

was so happy to have a day off and sleep in and i am awoken at 5:30 am because i have cramps 🙃🙃

[ilovecoelacanths]

actually seriously though sorry to vent but this quarter has been like one of the worst times of my life i didnt really think it could get worse from last year but it did and also my whole family life kinda fell apart which didnt help.

i thought going part time this quarter could help me but it just gave me more time to do nothing and then feel bad about doing nothing. i only have two classes this quarter and im definitely gonna fail one and im maybe gonna barely pass the other one. plus my financial aid changed so school is literally 3 times more expensive which means im running out of money way faster than i have the past two years, i thought that since i worked 3 jobs this summer i had finally saved enough to pay for the whole school year but instead i barely paid for the quarter.

literally the only thing that makes school worth it right now is the rowing team and tbh half the time i cant even drag myself out of bed to get to practice because we meet at fuckin 4:30 in the morning so im just disappointing them and wasting all the fucking money in dues because we don’t get money from the school so we have to pay a lot to fund the club and yeah. i just. need a break. i thought i could do better this year but nothing ive done has helped and trying to fix whatever is wrong with me and do school at the same time is just too much.

im just so tired. im tired of doing nothing and then feeling bad about it and overwhelmed even though i havent done anything and all my tasks are very manageable. im tired of not being able to fall asleep on time because i managed my time badly or my roommates were being loud and then either getting up for rowing or sleeping way too long. im tired of getting 3 hours of sleep one day and then 10 hours the next. i feel like shit and i cant even tell people how bad it really is because i dont want to disappoint them but here i am disappointing them anyway. i want to fix it but for some reason things that should be easy are so so so hard. i didnt even brush my fucking teeth today man.

my professor sent me a message a week and a half ago telling me im gonna fail the class because ive missed too many classes and im too far behind and i still havent responded. she probably thinks i dont care but the truth is every time i think about responding i feel sick. i just want to go home but now everything is different and my mom and brothers moved to a new house and my aunt and uncle moved to a new state and i have to go home to a house that isnt mine and not all my family will be there. or i go to a different house that isnt mine and not all my family will be there. and they say they dont want me to pick sides but somehow going to either place feels like im betraying someone. cant a guy catch a fucking break around here

[dykeseesgod]

what well its just that you havent spoken to me in years except to call me a faggot or to dislocate my shoulder and you know what else is missing besides an attentive listener a segue i suppose forgive my bluntness please dont hit me but i could giv two shits about you or your vacant mind or your morbid curiosities or your dead fucking dog so why dont you just leave i never dislocated your shoulder according to my doctor you did in shop class last spring you twisted my arm behind my back and said you wouldnt let go until i said and i quote i like to get it up the ass i was just playing around with you oh that makes me feel so much better you know through my screams and the searing pain i can definely recall hearing laughter any way i can contribute to the fun of the group we were just messing around with you fuck you cb id rather you say we beat the shit out of you because we cant stand you rather than youre just messing with me that implies light teasing or slightly oproprious behavior i havent eaten in the cafeteria in 2 years for fear of going home with some part of it smeared across my shirt i havent been to the bathroom on campus since my head got slammed into a wall i believe you were there i didnt do that well you didnt stop it either and the faculty doesnt care you know what im tired of hearing they only pick on you because of your own insecurities aw jeez mrs blank now that you said that my head doesnt hurt so much and people wonder why kids bring guns to school to shoot you fuckers down maybe youre not the bully but you stand idly by and watch and to me thats even worse so please just go youre being hostile and im just trying to have a conversation with you like a civilized i dont want to talk to you i just want to be left alone i dont need social pointers i just want an apology for the five minutes youve stolen from my day see this is why you dont have friends i think we both know why i dont have any friends oh dont be so melodramatic youre in here crying about a dead dog and im being melodramatic shut the fuck up about my dog ok or what youll hit me go ahead ill show you how people get hurt and dont run away to cry like a big fucking baby whats so funny asshole im sorry nothing i dont see anything to laugh at its nothing its just that i was scared of you for like a second im sorry no its ok i deserved it promise me you wont bring a gun to school i dont even know where id get one you were one of my best friends you all were i just dont get it can i be honest if its any consolation none of us knew what to say to you after your dad got arrested it was pretty awkward it was more awkward for me im sorry we werent there for you that means a lot see now youre being sarcastic again no i wasnt its hard to tell with you truce i wasnt fighting a war but sure truce are you i dont know ive never had sex so kinda hard to tell at this point what about my dad im not sure thats considered sex you remember how my dog used to howl when you played the piano yeah i always found it pretty annoying he was singing along what do you think happens to animals when they die they go to heaven you believe in heaven sure there has to be some reward for living through all this and you think there are animals there in heaven the wolf will live with the lamb the lion will lie down with the goat and the calf the lion and the yearling together and a child will lead them the cow will feed with the bear their young will lie down together and the lion will eat straw like the ox the infant will play near the hole of the cobra and the child will put his hand into the vipers nest but my dog killed a living thing wouldnt god be mad he was sick cb he couldnt help it you know they say a dog sees god in his master and a cat looks in the mirror i hate cats me too

[jintatk]

My Biggest Pineapple Promise

My girlfriend and I broke up 3 days ago and we're gonna go out to celebrate our friends birthday and this is my rendition of what i hope to happen

There's a lot of backstory to this but I'm just posting this for manifestation. maybe if people are interested I'll start writing!

*I catch Z or bump into Z while rollerblading or we keep bumping into each other in bubble bash because she genuinely hates me*

*we form a bit of chemistry, we laugh together but not a word spoken between us*

_she still utterly hates me and im too scared to open my mouth_

*after the game i gather all my courage and i go up to her*

*her friends all shoot sharp cold stares at me.*

"this boys fucking up our girl again, he's nothing but trouble" they think to themselves

*the tension is so think you could cut it with a knife, the silence is so deafening you could hear your own heartbeat, and mine was practically trying to escape my ribcage*

_gulp_

J: Z please lets give this one more try

Z: No I've had enough of you I'm never trying again

J: Please Z or real this time Z. No more fucking bullshit. No more getting mad at you and starting shit up every 2 days. no more bullshit jealousy. no more too shy or lazy to socialise. no more lazing around spending the day doing nothing. no more indecisiveness. no more pressure for sex. no more constant physical affection when you don't want it. ive changed. ive been changing slowly over the months but the past few days has been my metamorphosis. the pain i feel has been nothing short of extraordinary; a living hell. everything i felt, all the jealousy, anxiety and stress is really nothing in comparison to this. i know ive been shit for so long and ive been working on myself but now ive really had time to reflect and really i wont be so retarded anymore, i wont get overwhelmed by my emotions because i know now that nothing is worse than losing you. nothing.

Z: jinta im so sick and tired of all your shit, and i still cant forgive you for what you did.

J: i know youre sick if my shit, im sick of it too. i pineapple promise i changed. and you dont have to forgive me. you just have to love me more than you hate me. and I'll move the sun in order to make you happy. i promise. pineapple promise. I've always meant it when i pineapple promise but I've never meant it as much as now. things will change. ive already changed. i was always so worked up about how you dont love me but i realise i need to earn your love. ill show you i can be the future. ill be the boy you always knew i could be. ill be the man.

Z:...

J: I know, I don't deserve to be given another chance, that's why I'll earn it. I'll work so hard for the both of us, for our future, I'll love you so fucking much. Please just give it a go until the end of the year at least. let me prove it.

Z: It's too late jinta.

J: Please. Better late than never. The past is just Mr Kumar's class, it doesn't matter and It's okay if I'm late right?

Z: what the fuck are you saying

J: Okay nevermind. just... just please. its no use Z we gotta have it out.

Z: ... fine. just keep your fucking pineapple promise. alright?

J: alright. *hugs her and lifts her off the ground* thank you so much Z... *tears come pouring out my eyes* ive really missed you 🥹

[sixosix]

ok hi im BACK. i may have been procrastinating reading ur thawed series (like a total loser?? how did i procrastinate that) but now that i finally did it i am so infatuated ?!?!?!? i fucking love how badass the reader is and i loved her silly little friendship with lynette and fremi (and lyney too, no matter how much they denied its existence (('its' like the friendship. not lyney. love him)). ever since i started genshining (crowd boos) ive been obsessed with polearms .. theyre just so ??? aghmakdmf ?? ? they feel like water. flowey. like. yk. rivers (woah high class poet here watch out). i think theyre not as restricting as swords, bows, etc. honestly, a polearm is like .. a sword and bow in one. a sword bc. swoosh, kachow, yk? but a bow if you're bold. like, imagine throwing ur polearm like its some fucking arrow. sick as FUCK!! it would just be embarrassing to walk to ur (hopefully) dead enemy to pick it back up like 'ooh. that may have been dramatic u guys. mb.' also i. im wondering if i missed something while reading bc the knave just let the reader go?? like that?? nuh uh. i dont believe that. shes definitely keeping an eye out on her, making sure no fatui secrets get out .. i think im more excited abt the probability of an encounter between reader and arlecchino than one with the siblings fdjfidj. readers fight or flight goes crazy, and i dont think neither of those are really an option against a fatui harbringer, especially one that watched you train for most of your life.. probably knows everything about you, too ... yeuugh. i love the thawed series, and im really looking forward to seeing more of it!!! its really well done, i was giggling and kicking my feet while reading. im probably gonna reread it a couple times so if u see any of my crazy ass asks rambling, theorizing, and whatnot (just like this one), dont mind them ^__^

TAKE CARE!!!!

hi oh my gosh it was such a joy to wake up to a long ask THIS MADE MY DAY WAAHH AND ITS JUST STARTED TOO

THANK YOU reader’s personality was one of my favorite parts to write in the series especially after a lightbulb moment where i was like. I’m going to make reader have a cryo vision.

LMFAOO yes I LOVE THE SIBLINGS SO MUCH i knew i was eventually going to make sure you guys know how much i love their dynamic. (you implying i wouldve thought of lyney as an ‘it’ LMFAOO HELPP)

I KNOW WHAT U MEAN!!!! polearms are just the COOLEST weapon. i made a poll a while back asking my readers to see what kind of weapon they want and catalyst won. but at the time i was playing xiao (duh) and i watched this cool fan animation from the genshin anniversary (i dont know if you know it; it had a part two. it was basically about albedo? and the part two had albedo, klee, scara, and raiden. AND RAIDEN!! did this very cool fight scene with a polearm and it BLEW MY MIND! it looked exactly as you described it. water flowey. Rivers. AND SHE ALSO THREW IT!!! i was like. Okay. i have to make this the weapon.)

hehe i dont want to say anything about the arlecchino’s stance on reader leaving but i will say i’m glad to know that you know her well.

im so so glad that u like my series!!! honestly i say it a lot but i didnt expect it to get this much support so each ask like this really makes me feel so blessed T__T and of course i dont mind!!! are you kidding!! it was really really fun to go through your thought process

[evathekoolestt]

somerimes i get so sick of living . who am i to be who i am ? i dont think im real . i think if god is real , im some sort of guinea pig or sick joke that he decided to play on the people around me . i destroy everyone im around . ive done nothing but hurt the people around me . even the good things come with the bad and i hate it . i just want the people i love to feel reassured and not have to read between lines or look deeply within the stuff i say . i dont ever mean any of the mean stuff i say. i feel like theres a bug inside my head that tells me what to do except i listen to everything it says becuaese i dont know how not to. i think in scents and textures and faces and lpoks and colors and shapes and the way things sound or the way they crack when they hit concrete . i dont think befote i speak . im making up this very paragraph as i write it . i want a loving father so bad . i want to be a daddys girl . i want to feel comfort when hr hugs me and i want to feel safe when i hear his voice. i feel a part of me craxk every time i think about him . if i have to feel this way any longer im gonna start cutting myself ahain i finally stopped a motnh ago but my mind is so fuckrd up i camt resist anymore . i never feel satisfied. i never feel complete . i just feel dull . constantly. i want to rip out my ribs and suck the fat from my stomach and shrink my chest and grow my hair and cahnge everything to the point where i am unrecognizable . i hate everytjing so much and i dont rven know why . well not everything . i love laynee . and my grandma . and my mom and my brother and my papa . everyone else can go fuck themselves . i love them all so much . i love grandma and laynee the most . theyre everythung to me . i see laynee as a sortof skeptical person . not in a bad way , however , i think she sees people for what they are , for the most part (... she has this absolutely stupid (now ex) best friend who she still misses alot i think . but she had a sentimental connection to him because theyd been friends for years , so i get it . its hard to let go of people .) i feel like she doesnt 100% fully believe anything , but i hope she fully believes that i love her . i love her with all my heart . id fucking kill for laynee . i want to be with her every day. anwyays sorry i gushed a little bit . i think one day ill actually be happy . years and years from now . i think i do have a chance . but whether i waste that chance or not depends on how i play my cards . i feel as though my life is irrelevant . im a 12 year old , lower middle class , obese , ugly girl in a stupid , forgettable , trumphumping city whos school system has about a quarter of the funding that everett has because taxes go to the fucking churches because a god that we dont know is real or not is more important than people that we know are real's eduacation . i hate thjs city . jesus christ tjis is so many words

[zorbik-guligan]

Not really sure what incongruous means so I'll look it up after but it does feel like as i get older life gets more complex theres more things i understand now that sure i knew about them before but not in great detail but it feels like I've become so fucking complex as a person that if i tried to explain what i actually think and feel it would just overwhelm a person so i try and section myself off into pieces and just use different parts of me with different situations or people and it may just be because ive spent most of my time these past 2 almost 3 years now alone with nothing to do but think and figure myself out that when im asked what i think about something slightly personal its kinda hard to say it just got lost in my head somewhere and that whatever i think will change at a moments notice like i can bring up memories of lots of things and remember nostalgic times but i spent so long thinking about why i feel a certain way or what makes me feel a certain way in order to try and get a better hold of myself that ive kinda forgotten alot of my past like so many memories that i made are just gone because remembering them made me feel a way i dont want to feel like i remember realizing the beginning of 6th grade that i had completely forgotten 5th grade and the reason why was because that time i had was so nice yet not at the same time my brain just frogot because it didn't want a reminder of how good yet not something can be like great teachers who for the first time ever actually seemed to care as far as i could tell class mates who were generally friendly and occasionally checked on me if i seemed off yet i felt so alone cause nobody there really seemed like a real friend like the friends i had before who even when we were in deep trouble wouldn't rat me out and would stick with me who genuinely cared and missed me if i was sick getting older and not having anyone to socialize with for really formative years off my life has made understand those really old dudes who are nice and always up to make friends but just seem extra lonely for some reason despite knowing so many people i guess technically being that alone did hurt me but i kinda learned that im just not alone ever when im outside theres always some squirrels birds or plants nearby that make it more lively its why ive grown so fond of certain forested spots they are always lively and it feels like hanging out with all my friends its also why i enjoy making things like with metal or wood stone or even writing and painting those things feel alive in a way same with music and having time to think so much has made me reflect and realize that no day is the same and even when something changes something else stays the same or gos back to how it was in a weird cycle like growing but remembering where you were growing older for me anyways is like gaining more skills and more knowledge not just on the stuff around me but on myself too obviously people change sometimes pretty quickly too but getting older makes you learn more about yourself which duh that how life works but still it feels weird to be aware of it at 17 when it feels like i should still be trying to figure out my favorite youtuber or something not contemplate who i am as a person and what makes me feel the way i do but its a good kind of weird and theres always more to learn and find so i still have plenty of room to learn more about myself still not being able to really fully let a person know you kinda sucks but to be fair that is a rather special thing its also nice being able to put into words why i feel a certain way so that i can actually explain myself instead of just going quiet cause i dont know myself that well still kinda funny to know your own problems but not be able to jusy fix them when you know its a very deep problem even when it seems surface level and damn i got kinda personal there woops also just noticed that im shaking so might be overwhelmed remembering 5th grade which is probably why i frogot it or at least thought i did

anybody else feel that being human is like being a long-time syndicated cartoon character watching the world get more complex while your own design stays the same until youre incongruous with the reality around you??

[bubsub69]

Entry 2

14/05/2023 22:47

Well might as well start all entries with how my sleep schedule is, i had an afternoon nap so i might not sleep enough tonight but better than being up at 4am because i tried going to sleep at like 11pm and it went horribly wrong.

Reason for writing today? well while before looking at cute couple stuff like hugging and cuddling would make me cry now a porn video that wasnt even my first time watching made me cry because the couple seemed really happy and having a good time even though the girl was probably laughing cause she ruined the dudes orgasm on his face (video: https://www.redgifs.com/watch/quaintelderlyvireo#rel=tag%3Aruined-orgasm%2Cchastity%2Ca;order=trending)

I guess i should start with yesterday, with the blessing of the folders/briefcases whatever, it was as bad as expected so at least not worse than expectations, a very late start as a lot of people expected followed by a walk a queue to sit down, a small sermon and then speeches from each course. The worst part honestly might have just been the sun, it was blazing hot and i think i got sick from it, my nose was extremely fucked last night and still kinda is. After that we went to have lunch at a crisp 3pm and the food arrived at like 4, thank god my body has a high hunger resistance or i mightve killed someone, i spent a lot of time at the restaurant but at least i got to be with my cousin so it was actually pleasant, at the end we went to the lake garden to take some pictures for some reason and then went home (the for some reason comes from the fact we already had like 40 photos on the camera alone and went to take more).

idk why i wanted to write down what happened yesterday this was supposed to be more about emotions than story but oh well who can stop an autist from rambling.

But going to aforementioned (wow that was the word whos spelling i really had to look up, why am i spellchecking a personal diary? cause fuck you i want to, anyway another autistic rambling aside) emotions, those ribbons made me feel kinda weird when i reread them cause everyone was saying congrats on the hard work and for beating this challenge but i feel like its undeserved cause its not like i put a huge amount of effort studying, i barely passed some stuff which is definetly something im not proud of but yeah i feel like i slacked off most of the year even though ive never missed classes or failed to deliver a project, i guess im just associated with the studying part of school instead of this which is better honestly, even if i get stressed like now where i have a shit ton of stuff to do and am over procastinating as usual, but yeah, a lot of good jobs for a meh performance feels kinda weird.

But enough about school heres an update on D, today is sunday which matches the same day as the day of the call so how was her availability? well she gave me a maybe and then said that apparently her visa is expiring and shes super stressed out, well that seems like something way too complex for an excuse/lie so i believe her more but yeah her moving again is definetely going to make her busy again so i guess no calls for me.

Really feeling like a piece of shit that thats all the care i can muster for it, shes like about to get formally deported and im out here complaining shes too busy for me, and the worst is i decided to get a keyholder on chaster just to satisfy me, it feels like cheating i dont know why, we had some mild texting and a call and ive already like fallen in love and feel like a traitor, but i guess im tired of waiting and it might be for the best to move on if she just wants to stay an acquaintance (well new record for biggest spelling blunder), but yeah i feel like im giving up too soon cause i really liked her and just moving on feels really bad but what can i do when she doesnt show any interest, i mean not only does she not text back she also hasnt asked anything about me, which i guess is kinda fair for most boring person in the world whos hobbies are gaming and youtube, yippy, i guess ill wait again, this time im gonna do a week of no texting to see if she ever sends me something, she will be busy with the moving so she probably wont but oh well whatcha gonna do, not like shed say yes to a call in these circumstances either, i still wish i could help her but i dont think i can just ask dad if he has a contact with the visa man to hurry her process, but i did imagine that cenario

I guess switching to a different type of emotion to put some variety in this yesterday i fucked up the gamepads usb port out of anger but i think i tricked my parents by saying i saved the computer from falling, and on other hardware problem news theres a screw that i think broke the plastic around it so know the case keeps disconnecting from the rest. This was a shitty story but at least its not all about being sad and lonely

Well a bit of a blunder of an ending but oh well heres entry two, if the lady i messaged to be my keyholder replies the update will be here:

[ultraviolencced]

this is so sad alexa play summertime sadness

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from The Lost Tomb, part 3

I didn’t mean for this to stray into angst but like the lack of updates with Li Cu in LTR?? I had to do it to em.

Wushanju Crew Chat, 11:05pm

Li Cu: what’s up losers I’m outside

Li Cu: someone come on and open the damn door

Wang Meng: Language:(

Li Cu: fine, someone come on and open the damn door please

Snake Eyes Chat, 7:00am

Wu Xie: hey are you awake? Sorry I missed you coming in:) was finishing up some work. How was the end of your first semester? Did that geology paper go well? Did the food budget work out or do you need some extra money next semester?

Li Cu: yeah about your work

Li Cu: heard a little rumor

Li Cu: about you going through some stuff during ur recent trip

Li Cu: some stuff you maybe forgot to mention

Li Cu: and you told me we gotta check in with stuff, so this is me checking in, okay

Wu Xie: oh? What stuff?

Li Cu: idk just like

Li Cu: THE STUFF WITH YOU ALMOST FUCKING DYING FOR FUCKING MONTHS AND THE WAREHOUSE SHIT AND ERJING AND PEOPLE HURT YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK IS A THUNDER CITY AND NOONE FUCKING CALLED ME ABT THOSE PARTS ONCE

Wu Xie: oh. That stuff.

Li Cu: yeah asshat I’m in the kitchen whenever you’re ready to explain your fucking bullshit. Also you’re out of milk wtf how am I supposed to make breakfast here

Main Chat, 11:14am

Wu Xie: okay so it’s possible I fucked up a little bit.

Wang Pangzi: THERES JUST SO MUCH YOU COULD BE REFERRING TO I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START

Zhang Qiling: What’s wrong?

Honorary Wu Chat, 11:30am

Wang Pangzi: KID IM SO SORRY THAT PUNK IS A TRAINWRECK BUT YOU KNEW THAT

Wang Meng: Welcome home, Li Cu <3 not much has changed, ultimately.

Wang Pangzi: IT DIDNT EVEN OCCUR TO ME THAT HE WOULDNT TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT IT ONCE THE REST OF US FIGURED IT OUT

WAIT HOW DID YOU FIND OUT

Li Cu: it’s okay. not your fault, uncle. Doesn’t matter how I found out. Wait wait hold on what do you mean “the rest of us figured it out” who figured it out

Wang Pangzi: SAY HELLO LIU SANG

Liu Sang: …hello.

Wang Pangzi: SAY MORE THAN THAT.

Liu Sang: uh…so you’re Wu Xie’s protégé, huh?

Li Cu: oh well howdy there homewrecker

Liu Sang: Excuse me??

Zhang Qiling: I think someone on the roof is calling me and I should go find out.

Wang Meng: I would also very much like to be removed from this conversation.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHAHA KIDDO IVE MISSED YOU

Li Cu: all I’m saying is aren’t you the little creep who’s obsessed with Xiao Ge

Liu Sang: ???

Zhang Qiling: Li Cu is referring to a brief period of irrational thought on Wu Xie’s part, where he mistakenly believed you to be a threat to our relationship.

Liu Sang: what do you mean a threat??

Wang Pangzi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN TIANZHEN HAD “A BRIEF PERIOD OF IRRATIONAL THOUGHT”

YOUVE MET YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT

Wang Meng: can you please take me off this chat.

Liu Sang: Wait, so Wu Xie told you about me, but…reading between the lines, he didn’t mention the cancer or anything bad that happened? Oh yikes.

Li Cu: don’t change the subject “Liu Sang”

if that is your real name

Like yeah you’re right abt it but still

just saying

heard you got good ears but I’ve got snake powers

kinda

so like no more funny business okay you superhearing harlot

Wang Meng: LANGUAGE, LI CU. IN THIS HOUSE WE SHOW GOOD MANNERS.

Wang Pangzi: LMAO OH DO WE NOW

Zhang Qiling: Li Cu, this is all unnecessary and childish. Please apologize.

Li Cu: you say that now bruh but apparently you weren’t complaining when he was all “idol this” and “idol that”

oh and hey Wang Meng while we’re here can I show you my business class grade report later bc Wu Xie is all “what matters is that you learned and enjoyed the experience” blah blah all eat pray love you know how he gets and I want to actually discuss areas to improve so that when I take over this joint I do better than Wu Xie? Tho that shouldnt be hard lol

Wang Meng: hurtful but accurate. I’ll bring my best red pen:)

Liu Sang: oh my god. I’m too jetlagged to keep up with any of this.

Wang Pangzi: BEST. DAY. EVER. IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR HEI XIAZI.

Not A Homewrecker Chat, 11:52am

Liu Sang: Okay, we started off on the wrong foot.

Li Cu: I agree let’s start over

Start with how your little prank game almost got ppl killed

Liu Sang: And I seriously regret that. But we moved past that.

Wow, he seriously skipped over so much bullshit but didn’t skimp on mine, huh.

Li Cu: AHA so you ADMIT IT

Liu Sang: I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. That I’ve come to see Xiao Ge as a person and mentor, rather than an idol. I count Pangzi and Wu Xie as my close friends. I’m going to be staying here with them right now, I hope you can be okay with that.

Li Cu: see in my head you were going to be a lot less mature about it and I had a bunch of great follow-up insults planned

Liu Sang: I figured. I’d like us to be friends, though. Or at least not enemies.

Li Cu: okay but only bc you don’t know me yet so you won’t judge too much for this and I need to get this out to somebody I’ve been thinking about it for hours and my friends are still in finals and I’m stressing a little bit maybe

Liu Sang: ?

Li Cu: I yelled at dad

*Wu Xie sorry autocorrect

Liu Sang: …uh huh.

Li Cu: I yelled at him earlier. for keeping all that stuff from me. He started crying

Liu Sang: Wu Xie has been pretty emotional since we got back. Not necessarily your fault.

Li Cu: I made him cry right there at the kitchen sink and it felt like maybe the worst thing I’ve ever done

Snake venom and stabbings, no tears

Me saying I wouldn’t have gone to his funeral, all tears

Which I know was shitty to say but I was really mad

Liu Sang: If it’s any consolation, I think Wu Xie can understand the concept of being led by his emotions to make bad decisions…better than most people.

Li Cu: Xiao Ge came in then and looked weird

Like weirder than usual

Like he didn’t know which of us to be more mad at

Liu Sang: A common problem for the iron triangle, I understand.

Li Cu: I just ran out I didn’t have words right then and I feel stupid

but whenever they come back from their walk I’m gonna say sorry and stuff bc i could’ve come home to his funeral and I’m mad about it but also like. I could have come home to his funeral. I can get mean when I’m in a freakout mood. It’s not like I was scared or anything at all I don’t get scared really anymore ever but just like. Freaked out.

Liu Sang: He’s probably going to say sorry, too.

Li Cu: sorry I called you a homewrecker. Didn’t mean to slut-shame either

Liu Sang: I admit that after the initial shock, it was pretty funny. Super hearing harlot, it should be on my business card;)

Li Cu: this situation with Wu Xie is weird but kinda good ya know. And I have these freakouts sometimes that something maybe bad could happen to this situation. So consider this a shovel talk. But like, also not a shovel talk at the same time.

also I appreciate you saving his life and whatnot

Liu Sang: Noted. Now. Coffee?

Li Cu: sounds sick.

Be in the kitchen in 10. You can pick out what we watch for the household tv show tonight. no way is Wu Xie choosing some dry documentary about gravestone rubbings again. Pangzi just watches real housewives reruns and Xiao Ge won’t watch tv after he caught the last half hour of A Walk To Remember. Also i need my phone now to send some $ to Hei Xiazi since I owe him for…providing some intel

Liu Sang: Not even surprised.

[duncanxtrent]

F is for Fever

(Another prompt done by the always amazing @trash-that-loves-total-drama cause My brain is short circuiting and honestly they have helped a ton with me writing ok let’s go)

(Also for context Trent and Duncan both are students of Hopes Peak in a non despair universe cause I REALLY WANTED TO WRITE THIS BUT I HAVENT HAD OPPORTUNITIES TO!!!)

“Where’s Duncan been?” I ask

“I don’t know… He’s been hanging out in his room all day…” Jake mumbles.

“That’s… Mildly concerning…” I say

“Aren’t you his roommate? You should know!” Huey shouts.

“I don’t know, he’s usually asleep when I wake up, and today was the same. He might have just slept in.” Jake shrugs.

“Well if that idiot misses another class unexcused I guarantee the school will be sent into another killing game panic…” Sonic groans.

“Do you think you could check on him, Trent?” Monika asks

“Could you excuse me from class? Then if so sure!” I respond.

“I can get you pulled out of class! Though I will be dropping off any homework by your dorm.” Athena adds.

“Yeah that’s what I expected…” I say rolling my eyes.

I quietly get up from class and walk down to the boys dorm house. I quietly knock on Duncan’s door.

“Hey dude you doing ok?” I ask

Silence.

“It’s your boyfriend!” I call out.

Still silent.

“If you open the door, I’ll cuddle you for the next hour.”

I hear some mild groaning from inside. And then some shuffling as the door unlocks. Duncan opens up and I nearly gag.

He has snot and various other liquids dripping from every pore on his face. He has cold sweat running down his forehead and his cheeks are red. There are bags under his eyes and he looks like he just faught off an army of Monokumas.

“Dude!!! What happened?” I shout.

“Eh whaddya mean?” He groans.

“You’ve been missing from school all day! And you look like absolute garbage!” I cry out.

“Whaddya mean? I just slept in a little…” He mumbles.

“Dude… It’s 2 in the afternoon…” I explain.

Duncan looks at me shocked.

“You’re not fucking serious?”

“I am…”

“Dear fucking god…” He groans nearly face planting into the door.

“You doing ok?” I ask

“I’ve just been dealing with something ok? Tell the teacher I’ll be back Tommorow or whatever…” He groans trying to shut the door.

I stop the door from shutting and slide in. “Nope… You’re clearly sick as fuck and I am not letting you get away like that…”

“What the fuck are you gonna do?” He says letting me into his room.

“This” O say scooping him up on my way him. His face goes redder than it already is as I carry him bridal style to his couch.

I plop him down on it and take out some toast I had saved for tommoroww breakfast. I hand him some and he quietly starts munxhing on it.

I pull up the blanket around the two of us and I qrap his arm around him as we sit there quietly.

“So this is what were doing huh?” Duncan asks muffled

“Until you’re better? Yes.” I say cuddling closer to him.

“… Alright” He says snuggling next to me. “Just dont blame me if you get sick too.”

“Why would I do that to my boyfriend?” I say smooching him.

“Still cant believe You and I can say that now.” Duncan mumbles.

“What? That were boyfriends?” I ask

“Its still crazy. I never thought you would actually like me back” He says sniffling.

“Ive always liked you back, idiot.” I say comforting him.

“I know… I guess Im just… Happy”

“Good. Thats all I need to hear.

(God this is short but here it is)

[scarlethallow160]

as someone who was repeatedly on the receiving end of being used as an outlet by ex-friends talking about their love lives Constantly i refuse to subject anyone else to that

but i will also put a one-time cringefilled rambling post out

it has literally been so long since ive liked someone? the last person i “liked” was the only guy in my painting class i think like my freshman or sophomore year of college, and even then i just thought he was nice and like.....one of the hottest guys i’ve ever seen irl so i didnt technically like-like him bc we also barely interacted

but this is....different. i think he’s only been here like a month now? close to it? this was before my promotion so i didnt rly have to go out of my way to talk to anyone, so anytime someone starts chatting with me first at work i get pleasantly surprised, and hes pretty quiet so i was just like oh a nice new work acquaintance person to talk to at work?? when he’d occasionally talk to me (at my job sometimes even when ur working the same or similar shifts u may not ever see people lol). i’ve seen him talking with some other rly nice dudes at work i consider my work-friends so i thought maybe they mentioned me to him as one of the cool ppl at work and thats why he felt comfortable enough to start talking to me?

idk so whenever i’d see his name in the dash i’d be like oh cool x is here but again sometimes we’d rarely see each other cuz thats just how it is at work....but it is EXTREMELYYY rare that anyone shows any romantic interest in me--bc i was Absolutely the person assholes asked out as a joke in school--or any sort of interest really? so anytime someone (mostly guys if im being honest bc despite being queer, my brain can still be stuck in heteronormative ways....) goes out of their way to talk to me/be nice, i get like a little spasm in my brain?? and get a mixture of paranoia and anxiety thinking things like hm why are they talking to me? why are they being nice to me? are they just nice or do they like me/want something from me? shit like that. so whenever he’d talk to me i’d be like hmmmmmm why tho bc i overthink literally everything

and then one afternoon i was by myself finishing bagging my cart, and he was off already but when he walked past he was like “have a nice afternoon :)“ and i was like omg thanks u too?? bc even tho there are ppl i talk with at work, we dont usually say anything to each other when we pass in the store lol

i dont think me n the guy saw each other much after that or that thing happened where he’d be busy shopping and i’d be stuck in the box for us to interact much (and i also missed like three days a couple days ago from being really sick lmao) so yesterday when i saw we basically had almost the same shift cuz he was the 10pm and i was the closing specialist, i got happy bc initially i was like oh nice, one of the nice acquaintance ppl i talk to is here

but yesterday was a fucking shitshow and we were SO busy and honestly it was super disappointing cuz normally for closing shifts it gets chill and me and the other work ppl just relax and chat until closing so i was hoping that would happen but it didnt....and hes again pretty quiet so i cant tell if at times maybe hes too tired from the work to want to talk so i also dont want to bug him by trying to chat him up? but there was actually some moments that got chill where we were able to chat, and ive been wearing my dgd hat to work and it says their name on the back of it, and he saw it and asked if i listened to them and i was like !!!! bc ppl rarely have heard of them so i was kinda like oh shit wow hes actually heard of them and he mentioned that he i think listened to them in back high school?

(which.........if im being honest was kind of a relief to hear cuz that means hes not underage. but hopefully he’s like 20 or older bc i will feel shitty if i ended up liking a 19yearold without realizing it lmaooo and also at work its at the point where u literally cant tell how old some ppl are now)

but he mentioned he preferred another band i’d heard of in passing lol but then also i happened to look at him when his mask was kind of off, and i’d alrdy seen him without his mask before, but in that moment my brain spasm made me think ummm he kinda hot tho? and thats when i came to my extremely unfortunate realization.

and today his shift didnt start til much later, so technically if i had left my shift on time i wouldve seen him Maybe for an hour at most, but we were also rly fuckin busy today so i stayed a couple hours extra to help...and it fucking sucks now cuz anytime i saw him in the store, the monkey part of my brain would have that little spasm. and like...again i dont want to go out of my way to talk to him bc hes kinda hard to read on his mood but i also? Do want to talk to him when i can?? but at the same time i dont want to get my hopes up cuz ive literally never dated anyone before, and now that im a specialist and have like the tiniest bit of authority over the regular partners, id be worried if dating would even be allowed cuz we work in the same department, BUT AGAIN even thinking that is me getting my hopes up which i rly do not want to do.

this is so so so fucking stupid and cringey and embarrassing but even if nothing happens i kind of look forward now to seeing if we’ll have intersecting shifts? so in a weird cringey way i get kind of excited about future shifts and working now???

im trying to look on the bright side of things even if nothing happens lmaoaoao part of me also kind of wants to mention this to my friends who also work with me in case they....happen to hear of anything.....but at the same time i dont want them to see me talking to him/sending him out to shop knowing that i like him???

idk idk idk rambling about this shit helps even tho i also dont want anyone to see this and see how lame i’m being :))))))) this is literally such an unexpected turn of events. theres a guy in the produce department who made it clear he likes me but makes me uncomfortable (and also annoys me when he constantly tries to talk to me, tbh, hence my reservations abt wanting to talk to The Guy) with how....strong he comes on, and im like.........if someone were to like me could i pls change who it is hahahahhahahahah

things have been tough as of late so at least this is a Distraction?

it’s also a fucking sick joke bc our store puts out announcements congratulating the employees if they first started, if it’s their work anniversary, or their birthday, etc. and i saw one for The Guy last month bc he has the same birthday as my super shitty ex-friend/roommate lollllllllll

[noorengels]

reasons i am sad (friendship edition)

in year 4 my best friend invited everyone to her birthday party and not me and they all actually kept it a secret really well they almost pulled it off except she held her party in la plaza which basically is the hangout spot for families in that area i spent all my fridays there playing until midnight bc literally everyone from school would go. so i was walking home with my entire family inc grandparents and uncles and we went through la plaza and there they were! every single one of my friends at her party! apparently her mum didnt let her invite me bc apparently i hit her which i didn’t i hit another girl so her excuse is invalid and its the first time ive been so publicly excluded i cried on a bench.

in year 7 we hated this girl bc she was so fake i genuinely believe she is a psychopath like she has all the symptoms except shes in set 5 maths lol so my friend was like what if i spread a rumour about her and i was like lol do it and she did and for some reason i was blamed??? and lost all of my friends and she bullied me so hard but i didnt realise bc i was “friends” with her bc our mums were friends so shed like walk with me to lessons and talk to me while belittleing me and idk she was just a fucking bitch she made me feel so horrible like it was emotional bullying but also like telling everyone who i liked and saying lmao you literally have no friends “count how many friends you have? omg you literally cant even reach ten can you???” like in front of everyone but then shed also be really nice to me at the same time like idk it was like she was my friend but she bullied me it was so horrible saffa i hate you and the original friend who spread the rumour went on to become her best friend for like 6 years so uh hate that

managed to make friends with people not in my class in year 8! which sucked bc saffa had alienated people in my class so now they all just didnt like me i was the weird girl with no friends because of her and it was so horrible bc id always be forced to join the ready made groups between friends by the teacher  bc i didnt have a group to work with or id get paired with the weird girl like i was only the weird girl after saffa made everyone hate me this girl was weird bc she just is idk 

in year 10 they made a gc without me! i basically created that group tho like i gathered these friends i hade made in different lessons (obviously not in my main class lol) and they literally just??? decided to exclude me for no reason. and then theyd talk about what they talked about in the gc in front of me like “omg remember last night on the gc” isha ur so fucking boring no normal person talks about their gc with the same people again do u have no other conversational points smh

in year 11 it got so bad to the point where once i sat with them and they all just left! like they took their stuff and moved to the table behind me i wanted to cry so bad i did at home i think its the worst one out of all of these because it happened to my face? idk saffa was horrible too but this was just “were leaving” idk like ive never felt as horrible as i did in that moment i cant even describe how im feeling rn reliving it

its okay bc i made friends with my best friend from sciences + history bc our surnames are next to each other so we always sat together! i honestly clung to this girl after that bc i refused to spend a second longer with that other group after 3 years of enduring not even being liked by ur friends so i made friends with her friends which was easy bc yes! 

so by the first term of year 12 i had three friends! in fact one of them was like ur not having a birthday party??? im taking u out to eat so my first birthday event thing in literally years was all thanks to arun i am honestly so grateful for him he didnt even go bc he was busy and we planned it the day before my birthday but it was literally me and two friends eating pizza at zizzis and im crying so much rn but year 12 was when i found people who genuinely cared about me

we established a group of like 8 lol and were planning a holiday for the end of year 13! very skam of us! we had a gc and everything! we were gonna go to spain bc im spanish so i could speak!

this trip was unspoken of in year 13 and i was like lol kinda weird um okay but nope nothing weird about it they just created a chat without me and were still going to spain!!! one of them even sent me screenshots of their airbnb to translate its like u want me to know lol

i did complain to one of them but thats it i was just hurt on my own and coronavirus happened so it got cancelled anyways so i won really

in yr 13 i also got closer to this boy called adam! i remember my friend was like you two would get on so well idk why ur not friends and i was like idk its adam lol do i really want to and yes i did bc he is in fact the isak to my sana! but anyways i hate him but i love him we have that kinda friendship where were alwAYS trying to beat the other one up and honestly the most heart felt goodbye when schools shut was between us both bc at first we were fighting and then he just stopped and his eyes softened and i was like whats wrong with you why arent u punching me and he went come here and we hugged and its like wow despite being a dick ill miss you

anyways so uhhh quarantine we skyped often it was fun and then restrictions were lifted i went to spain and the second i land they all stop talking in the gc????? like im abroad not dead why are u creating a new one??? this gc was agressively spammed so i know for a fact theres another im not stupid

i come back from spain and theyre like can we meet!!! we meet three weeks later and theyr like i missed u so much im so happy uou came i love you and it felt really genuine like they genuinely missed me

two days later i find out through snapchat theyve all gone on holiday together!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of them and just ofc didnt invite me they went to the beach for two days and kept posting about it and im so bitter about it like bro???????? why so secretive????? like i cried so much when i saw bc they still just idk why does every single friendgroup ive ever been in exclude me like i must be the problem theres no other explanation for it i am not the kind of person people want to have around i am so funny but im a bitch and will come for ur ass because i have the inability to lie i have no filter either which i know makes them dislike me i know it does but thats the price you oay for being my friend i just say things as it is becauxe i hate secrets bc secrets are always about excluding me so i rather be honest and upfront but that clearly puts people off bc im too upfront and im not getting a personality transplant im not tryna be boring but im so sick of always being the one on her own

adam was relevant uh hews my only friend rn he checked up on me the other day so cheers adam for making sure im not completely isolated

the funny thing is that all my friends hate adam bc “hes a dick” hes not he just says things how it is were so similar so if they hate adam they hate me and im over being hated lol bye!

i start uni next week and i clearly have no social skills so im not gonna make friends im so scared of being lonely i hate being left out

this went from sad to full on angry like i was crying at some point and now im fuming like im so hot rn my blood pressure isnt doing okay

[rvnjun]

healing smile | jaemin

genre: super power au!  warnings: mentions of violence and blood  a/n: ive finally finished this au that has been sitting in my drafts for nearly two whole fucking years

The Dream Team M.List

Jaemin, was born with his powers, both his parents had them

he always loved to help people so he did his best to smile a lot, so everyone would feel better

although his parents told him to stop, they scolded him for wanting to help others

for using his powers so “carelessly,”

and for awhile, he believed and listen to them

until his power therapist introduced him to a boy named Donghyuck

Donghyuck was like him, he wanted to use his powers for good, to help people

but unlike Jaemin, Donghyucks powers had the ability to cause some serious harm 

with Donghyuck, he meant his current group of best friends

a group of teenagers who may seem ordinary to others but who were all gifted with powers 

now to current time ~

It only started as a joke between your small little friend group, calling the schools heartthrob “Healing Smile Jaemin.”

you guys gave him that nickname after seeing his smile practically work powers on people

there was the time you felt incredibly sick, you spent the whole lunch practically crying in your friends arms

after casually glancing over at Jaemin while he laughed with his friends, you felt way better

all your pains and aches started to disappear and you felt 10 times better 

then there was the time a couple of guys got into a fight over some chick, they started to punch each other in the middle of the hallway 

while you and your friends leaned against the lockers and watched with amused expression, Jaemin casually walked up to them and smiled while telling them to calm down that they were being irresponsible 

withins seconds they were apologizing to each other and willingly following a teacher to the principal's office

the last thing that caused you and your friends to dub him “Healing Smile Jaemin,”  was when he made the teacher relax

you had calculus with Jaemin, the teacher was known for being the reincarnation of Satan 

however Jaemin always seemed to make him calm down and relax, no matter how pissed and angry he was, Jaemin made him smile 

“Its like he has powers or something,” your friend joked while you guys all stared at him at lunch 

“Well he is friends with Renjun and Haechan,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders

they all hummed in agreement “You’d think those with powers would stick together,” your other friend pointed out 

glancing back at your friend you nodded your head in agreement

her words stuck in your head and you couldn't get them out, she had a point and now you felt like you needed to know 

the next few days you watched Jaemin with curious eyes, taking note of everything he did and he all looked at him

knowing he worked in the school nursery you purposefully drank a nasty concoction to cause you stomach pain so you'd get sent there 

walking into the nurses office you gave her a small smile and sat in one of the chairs, waiting for assistance, begging that it would be Jaemin

as if luck was on your side Jaemin appeared before you, staring at you with curious eyes, almost like he was reading with you were feeling he smiled

instantly all the pain in your stomach went away, confirming your suspicions

on instinct your eyes widened and you gasped “you are like them,” you said what was on your mind out loud in disbelief 

Jaemins smile quickly went away and his brows furrowed in confusion

“what do you mean?” he asked pretending to be oblivious 

realizing what you had done, you didn't want to call him out just yet

nervously laughing and scratching the back of your neck you 

“like one of my friends, you remind me so much of him,” you lied while standing up 

“im missing too much class and I just don't know if being in the nurse office is worth it,” you added before quickly leaving the room

Jaemin stared at you before shaking his head

you definitely were on to him which made him pout

he knew that someone wasn’t as dumb as seemingly everyone in the school and would catch on but he didn't want it to be you

not everyone understood or accept the gifted and he wanted you to accept him

that day Jaemin left the office feeling defeated and disappointed

walking over to his best friends they all asked what was wrong and he safely confided in them with his worries

Haechan and Renjun swore that you werent the type to hate the gifted 

“I have Y/n in my bio class and they are super chill about my powers, they actually seem fascinated by them, always asking me questions and listening,” Renjun said making Jaemin feel better 

you watched them from afar, not being able to hear what they were saying at all but keeping your eyes on Jaemin

sighing you walked past them, making sure to smile at them and headed home

mind filled with thoughts of Jaemin and his powers

Jaemin watched as you leave, smiling at your figure and making at least 6 kids feel better in the process

glancing at his friends they encouraged him to go talk to you

despite his protests they pushed him in the direction he went

sighing he nodded and began to jog to try and catch up with you

you on the other hand, were so Jaemin focused that you didn't see the guy in front of you

shoulder bumping him you yelped and apologized 

“watch where you are going, bitch,” he yelled, pushing you back into the brick wall

you cried out in pain, not knowing what to say or do

“what you ain't gonna apologize?’ the guy scoffed and slammed his hands into your shoulder causing you to hit the wall once again but even harder

rolling his eyes he walked away as if he hadn't done anything

Jaemin eyes widened when he saw your figure against the wall, crying while holding your right shoulder

looking around he saw a guy walking away and immediately knew what happened

“Y/n!” he called out while running to you

glancing past your shoulder he saw a piece of metal sticking out of the wall, jabbed into your shoulder

blood stained your uniform and slowly trailed down your arm

“Look at me,” he instructed

you listened and stared into his eyes, a gut feeling telling you what was about to happen 

he smiled while staring intensely back

“Y/n i dont know how to say this but my friends encouraged me too. i like you, i noticed you awhile ago and as much as i tried i couldn't push those feeling out of my chest. yes, i am like them. i'm just like Haechan and Renjun. i have the ability to heal people with my smile and i can feel aura. in the nurse's office i felt your aura, it was full of curiosity and nerves. i wasn't so sure what to think then but now i know,” he couldn't finish his words

you leaned up, wound healed and pain all gone from Jameins smile

deep down you know it was because of his powers but you felt like his words were what healed you

leaning up you pressed a quick kiss to his lips

“i feel the same way. i used my excuse of being curious if you had powers or not to look at you or come into the nurses office but that wasn't the full reason,” your voice as quiet as you spoke

Jaemin smiled, brightly this time and hugged you

“let me take you out for some tea,” he grabbed your hand and lead you in the direction of an amazing cafe he knew

Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Chenle, and Jisung watched the interaction form afar

“Haechan,,,” Jeno spoke

“Don't you think hiring a guy to push Y/n into a wall was a terrible idea that could have gone really bad?” Renjun finished

Haechan shook his head “Nope, it was a brilliant idea that worked out better than I thought. You guys are just jealous cause you didnt think of it.”

The clouds in the sky cleared a bit thanks to Haechans “brilliance”