#i think if we really want to go all memory is the monster la la la

[uozlulu]

Watching Daniel and Louis joining their brain cells together in the rock garden to figure things out like "Oh just wait until you two find out about like the entire decade or so you're both actually missing."

[doctorsiren]

Finally some Silly Little Monster AU designs! Here we have Thalassa, Lamiroir, Jove, and Zak

Thalassa is the name of one of those ancient primordial Greek gods, and she was the personification of the ocean. This goes along with Lamiroir being the “siren”. Since her kids are an angel and a demon, I thought going the goddess route would work since they aren’t hybrids and I can do what I want with my lore :3

As I was drawing up the design, I realized that what I was wanting was literally just Sea Fairy Cookie from Cookie Run, so I went with it. The goddess Thalassa has horns made of crab arms, so I gave this Thalassa some horns as well. Her hair and dress are always flowing like water.

Next we have Lamiroir. Since her design with the cloak is more based around constellations, I went the space route. I decided it worked since the moon controls the tide anyways, so there’s already a connection between the sea and the sky. When she lost her memory in The Incident, it caused her form to change, resulting in what we have here. It’s essentially a cracked gem Lapis situation, which is what I based her design off of. I thought the mirror eyes was perfect, and that actually makes her (la)Mirror Gem and makes Thalassa the Ocean Gem. I’ve always associated her with Blue Diamond anyways, so it works! Also I was just a big fan of both design concepts, so I did both.

Then we have Jove, who is a demon like his son. Apollo’s hair horns translated into his demon horns in his design, but Jove’s hair goes down, so I opted to give him both his hair horns and regular demon horns. I also decided to have one of his horns be broken just to spice up the design a little.

Finally, we have Zak. He’s an angel like his daughter. I started off the design wanting him to have silly little tiny wings, but as I drew, I couldn’t decide if I wanted that or if I wanted him to have big giant wings. The discord decided that small wings were funnier and so I went with those. His design didn’t change much, save for the halo hat, his ears, the wings, and the silly sparkles. Also, I believe that he wasn’t bald on the top before the 7yg lmao so yeah 😁

Thalassa’s husbands were both really warm toned while she was all blue and watery, which I think worked out.

[crazykuroneko]

Saw this old article (early last year) getting shared again on Twitter. There are some parts I didn't remember reading, so I'm sharing it here

(All automatically translated by Google Translate)

Alternative translation by Deepl:

Hovering over the story of the relationship between Louis and Lestat is a question that, for whoever created the series, is the real central theme and was always what interested him most about the script. "For me, the most interesting thing is the memory. There are a few little moments in episode three where he wonders if it was raining or not raining. That's really the most important thing that happens in the first season in terms of where we're going to go in the second season," he analyzes. One of the resources to explore the concept of memory is, as he adds, to put a good journalist in the room to ask questions and even push the interviewee to go "deeper into their memories to see how fragile and malleable they are". Objectivity, when someone tells the story of their own life, is not always present, even if they are not aware of it.

"I think these things are really hard, in the series we address issues of race, queer and other things that are really important," Jones continues, "but the series talks about the act of telling my life story and how hard it is. Because it affects more people beyond oneself, because it involves "strange decisions" made over time and even manipulations because you can't "face the trauma or because you want to think better of yourself". In this sense, adds the creator of 'Interview with the Vampire', "there is a significant little line in episode two, when Molloy says that memory is a monster. I think this is the biggest monster in this series, memory".

[dankdungeonsrpg]

Dungeon Meshi Devblog 1

The Challenge!

Recently…

Mirke the Meek, amateur podcaster and really nice guy decided to make a podcast about Delicious in Dungeon, the netflix series from Studio Trigger (Gurren Lagann, Kill la Kill). This anime, like many, is based on a wildly successful manga, which Mirke is also into.

He called his project Euphonious in Dungeon and it exists primarily as a call-in show where listeners can share their thoughts on the anime, one episode at a time.

It’s wonderfully short form, like Mirke’s primary self-titled podcast, and features some delightful cooking folly from Mirke’s own kitchen.

Now, while I’m happy to jaw about any show I enjoy, Euphonious requests we focus on the gameable aspects of the series.

Ah, I forgot to mention. Mirke comes out of an excellent community of podcasters producing TTRPG related content. I’ll probably mention them more later but such members include: FreeThrall of Keep Off The Borderlands, Jason of Nerds RPG Variety Cast, Joe of Hindsightless, and Daniel of Bandit’s Keep. (plus many more!)

Central to this community is that they are all in conversation with each other. Allowing the listener to piece together a greater narrative the more shows they consume.

While Mirke is perhaps the most junior member of the group, he should not be overlooked.

Now, to the Gameable Aspects

Some may know that my first best selling title was Joy of Monster Cooking over on the Dungeon Master’s Guild. So eating monsters is hardly a new concept to me. However, in the past I have always considered: “how can I add a monster eating mechanic?” whereas now I consider “how can I build a game about monster eating?”

The differences, I believe, are quite extreme.

Have you (the reader) read Into the Odd? Or Knave? Or Maze Rats? Or Cairn?

One thing these games have in common is that inventory defines character abilities.

You wanna be a fighter? Better get a big sword. You wanna be a wizard? Better stock up on spellbooks.

With this in mind I thought…”what if we had a game in which diet defined character abilities?”

You wanna be a fighter? Better eat a lot of protein. You wanna be a wizard? Better eat foods high in vitamin B12 (yes I had to look up the memory vitamin).

Could I go on? Yes.

Will I? No.

I want to string these into a series of blog posts so next time we’re going to talk about character stats and charts! (wowee)

P.S. I have no doubt others have tried to do this exact design exercise. I would like (for now) to pretend that is not the case. Once I have a system *then* I intend to look over other’s work to compare and contrast. I think this is a useful method when entering your first round of major edits.

[themadsquirrel09]

Chosen one

Fandom ☆ South Park 

Ship ☆ Creek (Craig TuckerxTweek Tweak)

Characters ☆ Craig Tucker, Tweek Tweak, Guinea Pirate

Rating ☆ K+

Warnings ☆ None.

Summary ☆ Craig has to save the word (again), when he would have rather just walked away.

About it ☆ I wanted to write something special for this ship, exploring their dynamic in a way I usually don’t see portrayed. It is basically care, drama and fluff. They are 27 here.

☆ Words 1030 ☆

With love: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Stan

“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” 

— Jean de La Fontaine 

My name is Craig and I am 27 years old. When I was 10, I found out I was the chosen one to save the world from the giant guinea pig invasion: I did, even if not on purpose. The leader, the Guinea Pirate, escaped and, after all this time, he is back for revenge. 

Am I really the only one who can stop him? 

I never wanted this. 

All I wanted was to go on vacation with Tweek and have a good time together. So how is it that I find myself in the middle of the Peruvian jungle, again? I try to walk away, just to end up inside that cave, facing the hieroglyphics that somehow have changed. 

“Craig, that’s you!” Tweek exclaims, as he pulls his clothes nervously.

“Yes, honey. That’s me.”

“So this happened to you when you were 10? This is insane!” He pulls his hair now.

“Yes, I know. I think it is useless, but how about we bail from all this?” He considers it.

“Well, we were supposed to be celebrating our anniversary. Let 's do it.” He smiles at me reassuringly and I grab his hand. 

“Ok. I think we went this way all those years ago. Let’s take the opposite road.”

We do and, by being there, I get memories of how it felt when I was a kid; I just wanted out. It is nicer now. Maybe the years made me care less, but I think it is mostly because Tweek is here with me. 

This was supposed to be our anniversary vacation. We weren't coming to Peru, we were going to Bali, to get away from it all just for a couple of weeks. When we ended up on the wrong flight, I got the feeling that something I didn’t like was happening. 

We decided to enjoy this place because we don’t have that much free time, went on a nature walk and somehow got separated from the group. I know by now I can’t control it: neither this prophecy, nor the power hidden in me. I squeeze Tweek’s hand.

After a couple of hours, we stop, Tweek takes out the portable coffee maker and gets it to work; then he walks towards me and puts his hands on my shoulders.

“What?” 

“You have to relax.” He chuckles a bit. “Sorry, it is weird that I am the one saying it, but this isn’t easy for you, is it?” I swallow hard.

“How do you do it? Relaxing.” 

“I just try to breathe deep and picture myself in a happy place. Maybe surrounded by a bunch of Stripes?” I try it and as I do, I drowse. “Does this feel good?” He massages my shoulders a bit. 

“Yes. Thank you, honey.”

After that, we keep going for a couple of hours. Suddenly, something doesn't feel right, I stop, pulling Tweek. We look at each other in some sort of instinctive panic, a low roar is heard and the ground bursts open. We try to hold onto each other, but the Guinea Pirate emerges, taking Tweek in his teeth.

“Tweek!”

“Craig.” Announces the creature. “You can’t stop me this time.”

“I won’t. I don’t want to.” I raise my hands in a defensive motion. “I promise I will just go away if you let Tweek go now.”

“You are trying to trick me, Craig, but it won’t work like the last time.” I find myself out of words, but Tweek screams and hits the monster in the nose. He is released and falls to the ground, making a pained noise. 

“Honey!” I get close and when I do, I accidentally step on one of those sacred platforms. “Oh no. It is happening again.” The power that hides in me is released as sparks shooting out of my eyes, hitting the Guinea Pirate until it is defeated.

A SWAT team shows up with tanks and helicopters.

“Take him down before he escapes!” I look around and hear Tweek exclaim: 

“Don’t worry, I’m ok!” I sigh out of relief and tiresome. I wait until it all ends and I can step off the platform. I don’t feel so good. 

“You didn’t hurt yourself, right?” He shakes his head. “Good.” I help him up.

“How about you? Are you ok?”

“I’m…” I don’t have an answer. 

“Craig?” He asks, but a member of the SWAT team intervenes and I let Tweek handle that. Meanwhile, I go to a nearby grass and lay down, then close my eyes. After a while, I hear near steps.

“Hey, it seems like we are close to a hotel,” Says Tweek. "We should—” He gasps, cutting his own phrase to exclaim. “Oh my god, you are crying! I thought you didn’t get hurt!”

“I didn't. I just,” I can’t really talk much. “I’m ok,” I get to see how he looks at me, like he doesn’t believe me. “I will be fine.” But the tears keep rolling down my expressionless face, so I just shut my eyes and let it happen. 

Tweek gets close, his movements slower than usual. I feel him sit by my side. Then he lays down too and reaches for my hand, I take it. We stay like that for a while, until I start feeling better. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It is not your fault, honey.”

“I know. But I’m sorry this happened. Again.” I look around, it seems like the SWAT team is gone with their prisoner and Tweek said there’s a hotel close by.

This is actually nice: just the two of us, in the middle of nowhere. 

“I guess it is not that bad. I’m doing what I wanted right now.” Maybe I’ll keep coming back to this place and situation, whether I want it or not, but at least now I get to do it by Tweek’s side. 

“Really, are you happy with this?” I look at his worried face and sit up just to lean and kiss him.

“Now I am. I’m soo happy.” And for that reason, I kiss him again.

────── ⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹ ──────

The end. 

────── ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ──────

Final notes 🍯

This one really makes me emotional 😅 I hope you enjoyed the read! Special thanks to the ones who voted on the poll 🌠

Fun facts:

🥠 The quote for the epigraph is also included in Kung Fu Panda.

🪐 I headcanon that Super Craig’s suit is so lazy because he knows he is a hero with no mask. 

All kinds of support are really appreciated! ♡ 

I just opened writing commissions! Click to find the details.

Here you have the info for drawing commission 🎨

[neroli9]

APJFM Truth Or Dare!

I meant to post this at New Year’s. Alas, I didn’t finish it until now! So pretend we’re still in that happy time when Reader and Sans are still together...

Sans looks around at the assembled group: Reader, Sasha, Asriel, Frisk and Jerren. Then he looks back at Sasha. “i thought you said you were gonna be, and i quote, ‘as far away from you two horndogs as i can possibly get.’”

“We just got four questions that my sister said we couldn’t use if I was around,” she says, shrugging. “So my eyes are safe.”

“what, seriously?” Sans turns towards the fourth wall, rapping it with his knuckles. “i was counting on you people for some sexy fun! instead you send in shit like —“ He takes one of the four discarded questions, written out on a slip of paper, and presses it up to the wall. It reads ‘turn your junk into a magical teacup.’ He jabs his finger at it angrily, then flips off the wall.

“You and I already had a hot game of Truth or Dare," Reader reminds him. “You'll survive a PG-13 one.” She takes one of the slips of paper. “Sasha, truth or dare?”

“Dare!” she says, grinning.

Reader unfolds the paper. “Uh. You’re supposed to rob a bank."

“Heck yeah! Stepstool Man, take us to a bank,” she orders, gesturing to Asriel and Frisk.

Sans glances at Reader, who shrugs. “what else am i doing with my life,” he mutters. Then he and the three teenagers disappear.

“Are we getting the sexy ones done now?” Jerren asks.

“They were all for Sans,” says Reader with a shrug.

“No one wanted to see my drag act?"

“No one knew you had a drag act until chapter 85.”

Sans, Reader, Frisk and Asriel return with six bags of money. Sasha opens up one of the two that she’s carrying and starts dumping the money out on the floor. “It’s pretty nice to have a lackey that can take us right to the bank vault!”

“And create light for us,” Frisk adds.

“And get us out before we run out of oxygen,” Asriel chimes in.  

Reader raises an eyebrow at her sister. “So it sounds like you didn’t really do anything.”

“I used my powers of persuasion and excellent people skills,” Sasha says with wounded dignity. “Who’s next?”

Reader picks out another piece of paper. “Sans, truth or dare?"

“dare.”

She unfolds the paper. “Show off the socks you’re wearing.”

Sans shrugs and kicks off his shoes. He’s wearing plain black suit socks, but he poses his feet as if he’s modeling. “gorgeous, right?”

Everyone stares at his feet. “Isn’t that scandalous or something?” Sasha asks. “For monsters, I mean.”

“Not exactly,” Asriel says. “It depends on the context.”

“I don’t think anyone’s getting turned on by those,” Frisk notes dispassionately. “Now, if they were leopard print or something, that’d be scandalous.”

“You hear that? Stop going all gooey over his boring black socks,” Sasha says to her sister, elbowing her.

“I am not going all gooey," Reader says with a failed attempt at dignity. Sans grins as he swings his feet over to her lap. She gives them an affectionate pat. “Well, maybe a little gooey.”

“Did anyone dare one of us to jab out their own eyeballs with a hatpin? Because I’ll take that one,” Sasha says, reaching for the slips of paper.

“You already went,” Asriel reminds her. “My turn! Give me truth.”

Reader pulls out one of the slips of paper. “What is your most mortifying memory?”

Asriel and Frisk glance at each other. “Uhhh. Can I switch to dare?”

“That bad?” Reader asks. “I don’t mind if you switch, but…”

“Definitely switch,” Asriel says.

“Fine, then. ‘Impersonate someone in this room for 20 seconds.’”

Asriel looks at Sans, and Sans smacks his forehead. Asriel smacks his forehead, too. “don’t try to impersonate me, kiddo,” he says in a gruff voice. “ya really gotta BELIEVE nothing matters to get me right. you’re not jaded enough yet.” He shrugs, his hands out to the sides in a comically helpless pose.

“cripes,” Sans grumbles, wincing. But everyone else is laughing uproariously, even Reader.

“frisk, truth or dare? not that it matters,” Asriel continues.

“Dare,” Frisk answers, laughing.

Reader fishes out a piece of paper and reads it. “Perform the most advanced dance and/or gymnastic move you know.”

“Easy,” Frisk says. They launch themselves into a perfect cartwheel, hopping back to their feet and taking a bow to applause from the group.

“That was great!” Reader says, beaming. “Jerren, you’re up."

“Truth,” he says with a superior grin. “I seem to be the only one willing to tell it.”

Reader picks out another slip of paper and unfolds it. “Jerren, why are you a bitch?”

His grin turns to a scowl as the rest of the room laughs at him. “That’s not even a proper question,” he protests. “That’s just someone being a little troll.”

“So you’re not going to answer?"

“I’ll answer a real question,” he says with wounded dignity.

“All right, all right.” Reader picks out another one. “What’s the cringiest thing you’ve done in any timeline? I --“

But Jerren interrupts her before she can finish the question. “You would have loved the timeline where I was a fashion designer,” he says with relish. “I took it in my head that I needed to do something truly avant garde! I needed to shake up the world of New Ebott fashion and show them something no one had ever seen before! I was going to hang out with all the fashionistas and trendsetters, and they would all be amazed by me!” He sighs. “They fawned over my designs so much that I started to feel disdainful of them. I kept pushing the envelope, wondering how far I could go. I kept hoping someone would realize it was all a big joke on them, that all I was doing was shitting out ugly designs and they were acting like I was a genius. Finally, I recreated the Emperor’s New Clothes, just to see if I could really get away with it. I made a big show of tailoring a whole collection with this special new material I’d designed. The rarest, most refined fabric that only the most elite names in fashion could possibly appreciate properly. I sent out model after model on the runway, stark naked, as the biggest names in fashion oohed and aahed. Finally, I strode out onto the runway myself, clad in what I deemed my finest creation. I struck a pose as they applauded.” He jumps to his feet and mimics a model’s pose. "Then I mooned them and called them a pack of bloody idiots. It was hilarious.”

There’s silence.

“That does sound hilarious,” Reader says tentatively. “But that wasn’t the end of the question. ‘I give Chara use of a felt puppet to speak on Jerrens behalf because I know for a fact that he has no honesty left in his soul.’”

“No, no, we’re done, I answered the question," Jerren says irritably. "It's your turn.”

He tries to sit back down, but Chara's already there, looking smug. “Definitely when Ceridwen died,” they say.

Jerren’s expression is murderous. “Don’t you dare —"

“Not the first time. I think it was the sixth time, when you’d tried a bunch of different ways to save her. Do you remember that?”

Jerren tries to put his hand over Chara’s mouth, but it goes right through their face. Chara continues, unfazed. “He ran all through the hospital yelling, ‘I wish you all were dead! I’d kill you all myself if it’d save her! I’d kill you all with my bare hands!’”

“Enough!” Jerren yells. “Shut your goddamn mouth!”

“I realized he was running towards the maternity ward, and I was like, wow, you’re not really gonna do this, are you? But he opens the door and shouts “None of you little pieces of shit are EVER gonna be HALF the person she was! None of you PUT TOGETHER!”

Everyone in the room is cringing now, except Sans who’s grinning from ear hole to ear hole. “you were grieving so hard you cussed out a room full of babies?”

Jerren picks up the chair and slams it against the wall. The back and one of the legs cracks off, and it falls to the ground in a heap. Chara is still standing there, grinning insolently —

Reader picks out another slip of paper and unfolds it. “Jerren, why are you a bitch?”

His jaw seems tense, but he smooths it out into a smile. “Because I dare to do what most would never consider,” he answers with a faint air of superiority. “It’s no surprise I’m resented for that. But the best most people can do is fling pathetic, anonymous insults at me.”

“that’s seriously your answer?” Sans says sourly.

“Take it or leave it,” Jerren answers, still wearing that supercilious smile. “Your turn, my dear.”

“I’ll do truth, too,” Reader says, picking out a slip of paper. “’What’s the most intriguing thing about Sans? Body, personality, whatever.’ Hmmm…” She looks at Sans, putting her hand to her lips. “I’m always trying to figure him out. The scary, intense Sans is no more the true Sans than the laid-back, fun-loving Sans. Same for the Sans who knows everything, and the Sans who’s a complete mess. He’s changed a lot since I first knew him, and… I wonder how he’s going to end up.”

“He’s going to fail,” Jerren says shortly, getting to his feet. “It’s going to be embarrassing and painful, and in the end none of it will matter anyway. If you’ll excuse me…” He nods to the group, then makes a quick exit.

“I’ve got to get to work,” Frisk mumbles.

“Undyne’s probably looking for me,” Asriel says, just as unconvincingly.

“I said I’d help Myrdi do some filing,” Reader adds.

The three of them follow Jerren out the door, leaving Sans and Sasha.

Sasha turns to Sans with a gleam in her eye. “Boy, do I have some intel for you.”

[trashyinfernomusic]

WIP Wednesday

Did someone say PJO/9-1-1 AU? I think someone said that... --------

Eddie’s shoulders tense when he catches Buck’s eye, but he doesn’t say anything. In fact, he doesn’t acknowledge Buck at all, even when Buck steps into the room to change for their shift. “I’m telling you, man, you’re super photogenic,” Eddie remarks loudly. “I bet if you showed Hen, she’d agree with me.”

Chimney hums tunelessly. “You think?” he asks, tapping at the laptop in his hands with his fingers.

“Definitely. I think she’s here already – Cap brought in donuts from some shop near his house, so she’s upstairs taking first crack at them.”

Chimney grins delightedly at the mention of donuts. “Oh, I love it when he brings donuts.” He looks at Buck and winks. “We used to get them from the Monster Donut a few blocks away, but both Cap and Buck aren’t huge fans of the place.”

Buck shifts uncomfortably at the reminder of how close the monster-run chain is to their location. “Cap says they over fry their dough,” he says quickly, “and I had a bad experience with their customer service when I was in New York.”

“Bad experience” really means almost got eaten by a hydra and “when I was in New York” translates to when I was fighting a war that decided the fate of the world while every mortal in the tristate area was asleep, but Buck doesn’t mention those parts of the story.

Eddie nods slowly. “And an experience in New York would absolutely translate to an LA branch.” Buck does not appreciate the dry sarcasm.

“Yeah, well you don’t know Monster Donut,” Buck mutters, pulling his work boots from his duffel bag. He’d thought about changing at home this morning, but his boots are loud. He hadn’t wanted to disturb Maddie.

Unfortunately, that gives Eddie the chance to look into his duffel. “Is that a sword?” he asks incredulously.

Buck blinks. Well, shit. “No,” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “It’s a pen.” It’s a knife, actually. More specifically, it’s the knife he keeps in his boot just in case he comes across something on a call that he really doesn’t want to deal with – which has happened a couple of times.

He shudders at the memory of the angry ocean spirits that had nearly killed Bobby at the plane crash. He remembers their long, clawed hands wrapped tightly around Bobby’s legs as they pulled him down, down, down into the depths as retribution for pollution that hadn’t been his fault.

He remembers the flash of bronze in the murky haze and the feeling of cool hands tugging harshly at his legs.

Chimney pushes past both of them to peer into Buck’s bag. “Dude, it’s just a Swiss Army knife,” he says between smacks of gum in his mouth. “Some firefighters carry them in case of emergency. It’s just a personal thing.” He pats Buck on the back. “Besides, swords are for LARPers. Not really Buckaroo’s scene.”

He chuckles to himself and walks out the room with a wave, leaving Buck and Eddie to themselves.

“But,” Eddie mutters, “that’s not a Swiss Army knife.”

Buck slams his locker closed, taking great pains to ensure that Eddie can’t see his combination and go snooping further. “Maybe you should get your eyes checked,” Buck replies darkly. “Those iPhone filters don’t seem to be doing you much good.”

He stalks out of the room and lets the door slam behind him.

At least he was right about Chimney; he doesn’t have the sight.

It’s a small comfort.

[eric-the-bmo]

It appers you are a lost and Dreaming Fan What do you think of the rest of the World of darkness and Chronicles of darkness catalog?

AAa sorry, i just now saw this!!! this might be incoherent, here we go:

Changeling the Dreaming is the first WoD game I'm getting into, so I know the most about that one! It's the forgotten middle child of WoD games, and oh my god? the lore is so cool (I'm so fascinated by Dauntain and Bedlam). I like Vampire, since it was the Gateway to me discovering these games (thank you LA By Night), so i know a bit about VtM? But not all of it. I've got a character concept just in case I ever get to play. I know there's a Hunter and Werewolf game- those seem a bit interesting, and I've considered looking into them to make characters for fun (in fact, I plan for my Hunter character to be my Vampire's sibling). However, I know very little about both- also Mage. I dont know about that one either. And I know there's other games? Like with ghosts and demons. I'm not very interested in those guys, to be honest- ghosts seem a bit? boring?? and since the first Demon game i checked out was Descent, i was a bit disappointed with Fallen. It seems like a typical "demons possessing people" kinda thing.

Speaking about Descent- I am ENAMORED with that setting! Religious imagery and robotic angels are some of the Best Things, I think, and the fact their false disguises become reality!! and they are now people, kinda? ugh i love it. I've got a character concept ready for this one, too.

My sister knows more about Lost than me, but I find CtL Fascinating when viewed through the lense of all of it being metaphors for varying trauma and how people deal with them (and in a sense, that IS the game, just filtered through 5 layers of fantasy).

I literally have Zero Knowledge about the other Chronicle games, so I can't really give my opinions on them.

However, I will take this opportunity to list off the Character Concepts i mentioned throughout this ask:

Leo West [Vampire the Masquerade]: The most-thought-about within this list, he used to be a librarian before he was Embraced and became a Malkavian. His backstory is vague, as I havent decided on what's true or not- but perhaps he was a ghoul for a short time, and the gaps in his memory caused him to try and figure out what was going on, leading him to become a conspiracy theorist who possibly broke the Masquerade (ik that seems like more of a Nosferatu thing to do, but maybe he was supposed to be one? who knows? certainly not me.) He ended up leaving in order to prevent his sister (his Touchstone) from getting involved/being in danger. He might also dissociate a lot, and was raised Christian (and maybe used to smoke weed???). Has a Contact named Richard "Compass" North, a young Ravnos he met on his travels.

Jericho/ Murmur [Demon the Descent]: A messenger angel! they Fell for unknown reasons, but ended up falling in love with all the music and parties that were to be found. They're a Vocaloid artist, and are generally just here to have fun- maybe to distract themself from all the religious guilt, and the fact they maybe lowkey want to Reintegrate.

Ginger [Werewolf the Apocalypse(?)]: I literally dont know anything about this one, I doodled a girl on a scrap of paper and decided she was a werewolf. that's it.

Amy West [Hunter the Reckoning]: Leo's younger sister! It's Undetermined if she knows what happened to her brother or not- does she know he's a vampire, or is she just trying to find him, and got tangled up with monster hunting? Amy's lore is More Vague than Leo's tbh, what's up with her. She goes by the nickname Dragonfly, and frequently gets phone calls from various unknown numbers- whoever's on the other end never says anything if she picks up; they just listen.

[transexualgerard]

sometimes its better to shut the fuck up and throw your phone at your neighbours window at least you'll get a fucking conversation out of that.

Alt title: sometimes it's better to throw your phone at your neighbours window just to start a fucking conversation.

4/12/2024

beds are only as fun as the time you spent playing super mario 64 in them. you thought it was good finical decision to buy the expansion pack version of nintendo online subscription with all the riveting wealth communication you have with other fellow switchers rather than spending every wonder trade getting a website nicknamed articuno, level hundred, with two illegal moves and like your even going to use it but you feel you can't trade a legendary pokemon that you cant even catch in this game. you keep wonder trading praying that one day you'll complete your pokedex because not even with the devils money am i ever going to buy violet. though you did spend forty hours playing a twenty year old tactical jrpg game which you could have emulated for free but now you can play it while lying on your bed. so maybe everything was all worth it.

when its pitch black and the knives are dancing in my little head, i really wish the switch would have a darker setting or maybe i should just shut the fuck up and live with the monsters under my bed and not try fighting them off with silly little magical animals.

expect for the hours i do spent with the monsters, and the witches, and the blades and the ghosts on hold with electrical company because we need to explain how we definitely paid all our bills so why the fuck are they cutting our electricity. waiting just to find out that customer service keeps failing to spell our name no matter how many times we scream it into the pay phone. we spent all our battery watching youtube videos of people picking locks that we might need to put around the knives so maybe they might hurt a bit less. and its not as if we're going to ask the neighbours for help.

they said they might accept a letter. a letter written by all five of us at once? i think we would have more luck trying to figure out how to mooch of the neighbours electricity, at least we can see their wires. we thought about a computer in public libraries but when we tried to get our license after all of us sitting in the car, the driving instructor wasn't really found of the idea of to sit on the monsters lap. his loss. we cant call our mum because why the fuck would we memories her phone number when we have a little green button that does it all for us. how many more days can i spend with at darkness council meetings before i just take the knives in my head and stab them through the witches heart. she's the only one who has one.

im always seeing those men in white jackets though they really dress however they want these days and they say they don’t know about many way to get rid of the monsters and knives, well sometimes they can help a bit with the knives but they always come back. though it's not always knives, sometimes daggers or razor blades or some of those crazy looking ones with little blades point out of the big blade or whatever the fuck it is. and they keep thinking the monsters might be those crazy deep ocean fish like anglerfish or whatever, but they've only ever seen the fish in a textbook before and how would any fish live in my room? 

so here i am in the dark, surrounded by the monsters, ghosts, witches and blades who couldn’t even understand the idea of internet addiction even if they tried. it's like when you're bored and you feel compelled by god to pick up a black little box that blasts little vertical videos of someones doing a simple dance in a hotel room. the people who you assume are friends but the longer you watch maybe they just paid their way to be there because how the fuck else do you convince someone to spend hours getting ready in hair and makeup after their ten hour shift. call an uber in la traffic. you're rich tonight. turn up at some internet girl's hotel room. spend the next hour re-performing the simplest dance in the world because internet girl keeps bumping into you. maybe you spent yesterday night memorising the wrong moves. you finish the dance. leave or be subtextually kicked out. but she offers to wait with you while you're uber comes. can you really afford this? fake it til you make it babygirl. cry yourself to sleep the next day. only go three thousand new followers from the dance. but it got three million views. someone commented about you're pretty little face. and you did work so hard on those eyebrows. maybe it's all worth the paid exposure after all. 

if this is on your fyp then your bestie is pregnant. a man who is barely dance to well… to something. i don’t know. why the fuck would i remember the song, probably tolerable enough to keep me watching but not enough of banger to actually close the app and listen to the song. perhaps it was silence? do you think the tiktok dancers dance to song and then mute their audio or just dance in silence and match it to the song in post? i guess it doesn’t fucking matter. he was more swaying, than real dancing, in the kind of way so you don’t mistake it for a fucking picture. watch until the end because i thought the plot would thicken but no alas a kind man wanted to inform me that one of the blades in my house is pregnant and for that i should thank him. thank you, kind man. i guess i now need to start pawning my band tshirts or something to find the thousands to actually pay for the besties medical bills to come. god that’s the kind of fun i'm looking for.

cats. cats. catttssssss. brown little cat clawing on the stairs. making biscuits. but he keeps getting his little claws stuck in the carpet :( oh no :( poor little boy. so cute. day saved. watch my deaf cat realise that ive come home. and so now i have to watch. whatever could this cat do! run around in a circle? fall off the stairs? attack her with love scratches? what if the cat cry? oh my god can cats even cry. oh no she just walks up to the cat and the cat just walks towards her. like a normal cat. day still saved.

do you even enjoy it?

what a fucking stupid question.

then why do you do it?

because god tells me to and who am i to defy god!?

is this god in the room with us right now?

this is why the fuck the fucking ghosts don’t get it.

you know i can hear you…

yeah, i know and every thought i have and well, at least you got a whole lot of fucking and crazy polariods out of your vices.

i don’t know think that’s completely how any of that works.

you know the type of polariods that your little grandghosties find behind the wedding pictures and are like oh is that your mommy?

who does that even happen to?

and now, you know, you're quite lucky if you get a dissociative disorder out of it.

i think you should see a therapist.

at least i can make quite a few tiktoks out of it.

[dododan]

Forgotten Perseverance - Chapter 10

Masterpost

Prologue

Previous

It was possible to convince Katharina to go on another trip through the Underground. A group of friends is to go to the Dump. Will this place manage to erase the unpleasant memories of Doggo? Or will another unforeseen adventure await her there?

It's only been two days since our discovery. Father agreed to let Katharina come out with us for a little trip. The state of her magic had stabilized enough for her not to accidentally destroy anything. Although he continued not to allow Kath to use magic. The doctor had not yet determined its source and whether it would stay with her permanently. He preferred to be sure that she would be fine. Today was our trip to the Landfill. Alphys wanted to go with us, however, she had to take care of her younger cousin. She only asked us to find her a working hard drive. The one in her computer is barely holding up.   

“Don't lean out or you'll fall into the water,” Katharina said to Papyrus, who was looking at the icy surface of the river.   

“Please sit down,” added the tall, hooded figure guiding the boat.   

Papyrus puffed out his cheeks. He sat down next to Kath on the boat. He crossed his arms, pretending to be angry. I snorted while watching this. Young was always so funny when he got angry. We took River Persona's boat to Waterfall. River was the only person who guided the residents from Snowdin to the Hotland border. It took almost two hours to cross the river. We only made it to Waterfall as close to the Dump as possible.   

A hike from the pier to the Dump still awaited us. I looked at Kath. She was talking to Papyrus, who had already stopped sulking. She was wearing a hoodie, although no one but Rivera was with us. Most of the route went through the forest, and there was no one here but the Guard.   

And River?   

He was probably the nicest person there was in the Underground. He never forbade anyone to get on the boat. Unless he was aggressive, but that was another matter. He also didn't care if he was guiding a human or a monster. If you paid you could go where you wanted. I smiled slightly.   

“Something happened?” asked Katharina, breaking away from the conversation with my brother.   

Her voice snapped me out of my reverie. I didn't realize that I had been staring at her the whole time. I looked away, getting slightly flustered at the same time. 

“Nothing, I was thinking,” I replied.  

“Tra la la” hummed River under his breath, glancing at me. I had the impression that he was smiling slightly. However, it was hard for me to tell through his large hood. His face was always in shadow, so it was hard to even determine what race he was. No one ever asked about it either. “Something is going on here. Trala la la.”   

Kath looked at me, not really understanding River's words. I just shrugged my shoulders in response. Hardly anyone understood what River Person was talking about. Often, he said nonsensical things. We usually let it go by the ears. That was the case this time, too. His words were out of all contexts. They seemed to be part of a larger thought that was known only to him.  

“We'll be there in a minute!” shouted Papyrus, leaning out of the boat and pointing to the waterfalls.   

  ... 

“I didn't expect such a difference in temperature,” announced Katharina, pulling on her jacket.   

“I warned you to take something light,” I said, turning to her.   

We left the boat and had been walking for a good half hour. We should soon be at the Dump. We walked along the path that led us to the Echo Flowers field, and just beyond it was the Dump.   

“But I thought it wouldn't be more than ten degrees plus,” groaned Katharina, wrapping her jacket around her waist. “Isn't it strange that it's more than twenty degrees here and the temperature in Snowdin is negative?” asked Katharina.   

“Snowdin, Waterfall and Hotland are at the same depth. They are lower than the Ruins. Therefore, theoretically, it should be as cold here as in Snowdin,” I explained to Katharina, who leveled with me. “However, there is a river of lava in Hotland. An offshoot from some underground volcano. That's why Hotland is the warmest - I glanced at Paps from time to time to see if he was moving away too much. He was playing with Echo-flowers. - And Waterfall is located in between. Two fronts meet there. Icy air from Snowdin and hot air from Hotland, mix in Waterfall. They create an ideal climate for growing plants,” I finished.   

Katharina listened to me with bated breath. She absorbed every word I said. For me, the affairs of the Underground are something normal. The eternal winter in Snowdin. Rivers of lava and blue flowers. I often forgot that she did not know my world. She had no way to know it. I, on the other hand, could read books about her world. Hardly a fair deal, but somehow I liked that I could explain everything to her.   

 “Or Echo-flowers!” shouted Papyrus, running up to us.   

Katharina looked at me questioningly. In all this, I did not explain to her what Echo-flowers are. The most beautiful and magical thing in the entire Underworld.   

“They are those blue big flowers. Like most of the plants in Waterfall they are bioluminescent,” I explained further to Kath, and Papyrus grabbed my hand pulling me forward. “They repeat the last words we heard,” I added. "Paps, don't pull me like that!”  

“Let's show Kath the flowers!” cried Papyrus. “So that she can listen to them!”  

I looked at the girl with a questioning gaze. She only glanced at Paps, smiling slightly. She sped up her step, overtaking me and her brother.   

“Then let's go!”, she said cheerfully. Papyrus immediately let me go. He ran up to her. He grabbed her hand and together they ran to a nearby field of Echo Flowers.   

Katharina crouched by one of the flowers. Next to her stood Papyrus, who was saying something to the Echo-Flower. I was too far away to hear anything of it. However, Kath's gentle smile and my brother's happy face looked really nice. The two of them had really become friends with each other in a very short time. Despite what she said, Katharina had a good rapport with the children. She was able to approach Papyrus in such a way that he wanted to do something himself. He even started to clean up after himself, and he had a lot of resistance to that. She was able to convince him somehow. She was really good. If only I had been more careful. Maybe we wouldn't have lost her. People had more to offer us than just hatred.   

... 

Somehow, I find it hard to focus. The more I tell you, the harder it is for me. Even though so much time has passed. It's hard to get over the loss of someone close to you. No matter how hard you try. Along with your loved one, a part of you also dies.   

The day at the dump was special because Kath changed another person's life.   

... 

The dump made a big impression on Katharina. Three-meter-high mountains of various things. From various trinkets such as books, jewelry or toys. One could also find furniture. Wooden, often damaged, but it was no problem to fix them. The eager ones found electronics. Computer parts, tattered televisions or other electronic equipment.   

Such treasures were useful. Not everything could be obtained in the Underground or manufactured. The barrier severely limited us. It was important to distribute resources wisely. As far as I can tell, we were at the same level of development as humans or even a little better developed. This is not known. Human computers were useful to us as sources of information. We used memory cards and read information from them. Thanks to them we learned about human discoveries, or at least some of them, most of the information we got from books.   

But not about that.  

Papyrus, as always when we were at the Dump, was looking for toys or new movies. He would climb to the very top of those mountains and look out. He looked around in all directions. He believed that the higher he climbed the more he would see. In this way, it was difficult for him to find any toys. I used to pull him down and search each of the mounds with him in turn. Only then did we find what we were looking for. Then it was different. Katharina was with us, so I didn't have to watch my brother so much. The girl takes good care of him and doesn't let him do dangerous things. I doubted that anything bad would happen to him.  We shouldn't meet anyone either. We came at lunchtime, which is why it's so empty here. The only person we might run into then was Gerson. An old turtle, a salesman. He has a store nearby. Sometimes he looks into the Dump to replenish the store. No one knows how he does it, that he finds real treasures. Gold or silver jewelry, books and cassettes in great condition. Also many interesting things. They cost a lot at his place, but they were worth the price. Unfortunately, Gerson never had an assortment of electrical parts. He was completely ignorant about it. He also considered some to be superfluous. He was still stuck in the analog era.   

But I diverge from history.  

At that time, I didn't really know what Kath and my brother were doing. I heard some crackling of metal, something sliding, rolling. Normal sounds for the Landfill. Something might have fallen down the hill or slipped because someone stood on an unstable piece. I didn't know what was going on there until I heard Kath scream. I immediately tensed up, and a shiver ran down the back of my neck. I raised my head and looked around. I didn't see Paps or Katharina anywhere. I began to get nervous, and all possible black thoughts came to my mind.   

The ground had settled under Kath. She fell and did something to herself. Maybe Doggo followed us and attacked her? Many things could have happened then.   

The worst part was that I had no idea where they were. I could hear Katharina screaming behind me. However, it was a large area to search. I wanted to teleport to the tops of the nearby mountains of debris to somehow locate them.   

 “Sans!"shouted my brother.   

This time I realized that they were a few meters in front of me. Behind some big mountain of rupees. If he hadn't spoken then, I don't know how long I would have looked for them.   

I transported myself and my breath was taken away. I didn't expect her to be here then. Kath was lying on the ground. Next to her were several broken chairs. She may have fallen, but not alone. In front of her stood Undyne. Her legs were shaking, and in one hand she held a green spear. She probably created it herself with her magic. The sight of her surprised me. Undyne had tried to fight in her youth, but she didn't have too much confidence. She was afraid of fighting, however, she thought she should take revenge. One of the people who fell into the Underworld killed her parents. Since then, she has been under the care of the royal orphanage. The king established it after the war, and often visited the place and spent time with the children. There were not many of them. As far as I can tell at the time there were only three of them in the orphanage. The youngest of them was Undyne. She saw her parents killed. She wanted people to pay for what they took from her. However, she was afraid. Of fighting. The pain. The wounds suffered. Confrontation. Briefly, she was cowardly. She shook with fear whenever she was about to approach a fight. I would never have suspected at the time that she would try to fight. She pointed her spear at Kath. It was all a split second.  

“ I'll show what I'm worth,” she said, taking a swing.   

The spear was approaching Kath. I raised my hand with the intention of pushing Undyne away. I didn't manage to do so. Before my eyes I saw Undyne's spear hit the purple shield. Kath was lying on the ground covering herself with her hands. In front of her was a purple shield. It absorbed the force of the impact. The spear fell out of Undyne's hand, and the concentrated magic disintegrated.   

We were all stunned.   

I did not know that Kath was capable of this. She had not mastered the basics of magic, and she managed to create a shield. Something material. This is really difficult magic. It often takes many years to learn something like this. Kath's shield disappeared as the girl lowered her hands. She looked at them as confused as we were. I quickly shrugged it off. I had to do something. Undyne was too close. She was a threat, and I wouldn't let anything happen to Katharina. I raised my hand, surrounding Undyne with blue magic.    

[perpetual-fool]

Music?

In my blind writhing I've picked up guitar again. By 'guitar' I mean 'making music generally', entails means 'guitar + singing'. And it's making me feel a little better? which is very strange for a couple reasons.

Mainly, nothing should be making me feel any better. I've tried everything, there's nothing left. I thought. So I don't know what's going on. Speculating, it might feel like putting feelings to music gives it legitimacy. Like, she has a couple songs that sound like they're about what happened, except the events are completely flipped around. Like "..can't bear you to leave.." when she was the one who abandoned me. And the songs feel like hard proof that she's right and good and perfect and I'm lying and wrong and evil and crazy. So having my own as rebuttal would mean I'm not crazy?

But also, this should be extremely triggering. She's the root of this torment and this was very very much her thing. Professional musician, album on spotify, opened for a big famous band once (supposedly). And it's just not? I think, somehow, this never got contaminated. Like pretty much everything is like: I tried picking up card stacking, then when I told someone about it they it was inherently unethical because the national card stacking association supports a known hate group, and it doesn't make any sense but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth about the whole thing. Which is to say, pretty much everything has bad memories attached. And we just never got into it. I tried. I asked about how to go about writing songs or learning to sing and play. But the shit she told me was like "just do it" and "finish what you started". So she never told me anything about it, actually.

If I keep thinking about her the daymares are going to start up again.

So, music and stuff. As a bass, this is actually fairly complicated. The voice is going to be lead melody of course, would sound very strange otherwise. The problem is that the lowest notes are the foundation of the harmony. And with a single instrument or one that blends really well I can do some interesting stuff. Like, you can play a chord on guitar and keep moving the bass note down one fret, and that still sounds good. But with a different instrument it just sounds out of tune. And up in alto range you can sing/play whatever note you want and it'll sound right so long as it's in the same key. But me, if there's a chord happening anywhere in the low end, then I have to be singing one of those notes, else it sounds off. And singing arpeggios as a melody would be very limiting and strange, so what I'll have to do is rapidly change the chord to keep up with the melody.

Here's a video of that being done well: (https://youtu.be/TLvtw4nXou0?si=nQDI0QGqkjRJulKX)

I don't think this instrument is at all appropriate. I can't change chords that fast, even ignoring the screeching. I could maybe play fast and loose with dyads but the instrument really is optimized for fat six-string filler chords. And anything whose range overlaps mine significantly is going to sound very muddy or be very awkward to play around that. So what then? Bass wasn't totally off base, I could directly harmonize with that. Would be awkward. A chord instrument an octave or more above me would work, ukulele or something. I hate how those sound, not my thing. (https://youtu.be/Vqbk9cDX0l0?si=nYme3tApMTzFwSUG) So it seems like my best option is my first love, viola. I can make that work now. Also, my fingers are too fat for guitar, it's really hard to play. I'd be better off with something more like piccolo bass. Though I also don't have monster bass hands a la Justin Chancellor, so I guess I have cello-sized hands? And speaking of, bass would be more suitable for the kind of thing I'd want to play anyway. (https://youtu.be/ke6Qxkel8cU?si=NAM9FFFQ9haj1pYcl)

I want to hear what bass rock-voice sounds like. Like Chester but down an octave.

Anyway, running out of steam and the daymares are coming back. I should try and go to sleep. I don't hurt when I sleep. currently.

[mechanicalinertia]

Saw this gif, and I couldn't help but be reminded of how good Sylia's introduction is from a storytelling standpoint. It's right at the fifteen-minute mark, it's two minutes-ish, and the dialogue is fairly minimal even while the emotional beats slam into place one after another. I wouldn't say it's my favorite sequence in OVA 1, because this is an episode where Konya Wa Hurricane dominates everything else, but it's still really good.

Think about it. First we have her swimming under the moonlight. Cool, calm, the only sound some surprisingly loud foleying of her swimming. Then: Okay, we know she's Saber White. We don't know her name, but we know who she is. Then, close up: There's something about her expression that suggests - concern. Depth under still waters. Then, as if to dispel the thoughts of what she's been doing, she flips around, floating on her back, hardly swimming at all. Her eyes shut. She remembers something else - and there's the audio bridge of the phone before we see what's going on.

Okay, flash back. She's a kid. She wants to know when papa's coming home. Mama's nowhere to be seen, so she puts on a brave face: "I'm all right, but Mackie's feeling lonely." Oh, she's not all right. Mackie waves happily - look, hi dad! How are you? - when she's the one who misses him. And dad just kinda brushes her off - 'be patient just a little while longer - and we see the prototype Boomer, all artificial muscle fibers and that same snarling visage of the 55C. And Boomers, at this point, are fairly monstrous. The only context we see them in are as skin-bursting murder-monsters Quincy happily sells for the Polar War. We haven't seen sympathetic machines yet.

Okay, another audio feed-in as Sylia plays the role of big sister and puts Mackie to bed - sirens. And Sylia watches as her father disappears from her life, and then she's disraught, and then we get the data unit, and then every memory seems to overwhelm her as music starts to build, and then that same shocked expression on little Sylia's face cuts back to her older self as music cuts out.

It's incredible. It tells us about how, for all that Sylia seems to be the cool-beauty type, utterly unflappable, there is some shit going on in her head, things even her little brother can never understand. She inherited the hardsuits and a revenge quest from a father that didn't seem to be there for her often, but who is she really? How much of Sylia is Sylia? Sure, she has her more straightforward moments when she says that her objective is to 'protect peace and justice and rid the world of evil', but this little sequence tells us a great deal about the character that isn't really explored much. We get that strange sad look on her face when she stabs Mason in the throat, and then her true motives around Dr. Stingray aren't really discussed until Crash, of all times. I wish we'd gotten to get more inside her head - especially if the theory that she's some sort of transhuman a la Grand Mal is true.

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Sylvie Playlist

I previously posted my Loki playlist. I also have a Sylvie-specific playlist. Several of these are transferred over from my Loki playlist, because originally I was using my Loki playlist as a catch-all for everything Loki-related, but then decided to create just a Sylvie playlist. Some of them just fit Sylvie, also.

"After the Storm", Mumford and Sons: Either running from the TVA after getting arrested as a child or post-killing Kang.

"Keeping Your Head Up," Birdie: Running from the TVA through all the apocalypses her entire life

"Heirloom," Sleeping at Last: trans-girl Sylvie ("You are so much more than your father's son," because she's not her father's son, she's a girl!) And also being her own person, because she doesn't have a family anymore :(

"C'est La Mort," The Civil Wars: Platonic Loki and Sylvie, and also loving her family.

"Left Behind," from Spring Awakening: She lost her whole family

"Hold My Girl," George Ezra: me @ Sylvie, cuz I love her and she's perfect and she can do no wrong.

"She Used to Be Mine," from Waitress: Fucking hell, this song is perfect for Sylvie, just all of it is quintessential Sylvie.

"Hymn for N," The Cottars: Sylvie and Loki, but again, not romantic, because the very first line is, "I may not have a heart to give you." I don't ship this, but I will acknowledge that Loki thinks that he loves her. And I think Sylvie will acknowledge that he thinks he does.

"Send Me a River," The Cottars: "Send her a river, because she's not where she wants to be." Again, Sylvie just on the run. And also, that shot we get of her in the season two trailer or promotional something or other where she's sitting on that couch with the headphones on, she just looks like she'd rather be anywhere else.

"I'm Still Here," from Treasure Planet: Again, on the run. And also being taken in by the TVA in the first place for being or doing wrong in some, unknown way. Like, she was a child. No matter how you spin it, she couldn't help whatever her Nexus Event was (I mean, I guess unless she'd just killed Thor like Kid Loki, but you'd think if that was the case it would've been her first theory of why she got arrested, rather than that she's a girl...unless she lied about what she thought her nexus event was!!! OOOH, betcha didn't expect to find the beginning of a theory in the middle of a playlist post. Neither did I.)

"Where Do I Go From Here?" from Pocahontas II: Post-killing Kang

"He Who Remains," "Be," and "B-15's Memories," from Loki: All tracks from the Loki soundtrack, either from scenes she was in or plot points she was a hand in or just tracks that at least made me think of her.

"Let It Go," from Frozen (specifically the Broadway soundtrack): I don't know, it just feels like a good song for her.

"Wasteland, Baby!," by Hozier: It's all about the apocalypse

"I Have Made Mistakes," by The Oh Hellos: That's just a Loki song, it fits all the variants

"Fear of Fear," by Passenger: "Fill my past with regret/Wrap my present in brown paper/Fill my future with promises, the promise to come later" Kind of just about time and regret

"Monster," from Frozen (the Broadway soundtrack): It's fitting for Sylvie, because it's this moment of Elsa being like, 'Am I the monster that I was trying not to be, because I've frozen my sister's heart and frozen the only home I've ever known?' And Sylvie was taken in as a child and not really told why, so she's just kind of like 'Am I just a terrible person, inherently? Because I had to have done something wrong if they took me in.' And she's had to make terrible decisions just to stay alive, so I don't think she would ever say now that she's a good person at all, just because of what she's had to do.

"Alone," by Trampled By Turtles: She's been alone her entire life

"If You Run," by The Desert Sessions: She's been running her entire life

"Darkest Days," by Passenger: "See the lights of your town slowly sink and drown," Asgard was reset when she was arrested

"Only Us," from Dear Evan Hansen: So canonically this is a romantic song, but it is on here as a purely platonic song in my interpretation of it.

"I Dreamed a Dream," from Les Mis (but it's the Darren Criss cover, because I love him): It's just a song about all the expectations you have for your life, and now it's all gone to shit, which I feel like is Sylvie.

"The Next Right Thing," from Frozen II: Again, she's fucked up her entire life. She stabbed He Who Remains, and now the timeline is splintering like a tree that's been struck by lightning. What is she gonna do now? The next right thing. Getting hired by McDonald's in the seventies is the next right thing she came up with apparently, I don't fucking know.

"Please Don't Say You Love Me," by Gabrielle Aplin: I mean, Loki: "Don't say you love me, because I might not say it back."

"Let's Fall in Love for the Night," by FINNEAS: Listen. I don't know why I put this. Why are some of these songs kind of selfcest romantic? I'm just noticing this now; I'm kind of mad at myself actually.

"Kingdom Come," by the Civil Wars: "Run, run, run away/Buy yourself another day." That's why.

"no body no crime," by Taylor Swift: I found this on another Sylvie playlist, but it makes perfect sense.

"Flaws," by Bastille: This is Loki and Sylvie platonically.

"Need the Sun to Break," by James Bay: Sylvie on the run, again. Or also right after she kills Kang

"Carry You," by The Native Sibling: Loki talking to Sylvie while she's trying to kill Kang and he's trying to get her to stop

"This Time," by Mandy Harvey: "I'm not the same kid I used to be." She's changing, she's been changed.

[latinopercy]

hi!!! i just finished episode 3 of monster donut and i have a few thoughts/questions (i wrote this all out and then got distracted and accidentally closed the page, so I’m gonna do my best to rewrite it from memory):

1) thalia’s faith in her father vs luke’s lack of faith in his father is mentioned, and how signs from zeus are enough for thalia but luke wants more than a sign from hermes. do you think it’s possible that this is partly just because of their experiences with the gods so far / how the gods have influenced their lives thus far? bc luke’s life was heavily influenced by the gods bc of his mom’s curse. on the other hand, we don’t really know if thalia’s life has been influenced by the gods so far (aside from learning in HoO that her mom traded jason’s life away to a goddess, though I wonder if she blames her mom for that more than the gods), since she believes zeus helped her meet luke and so far that’s been a good thing

2) i think the question of how long luke kept the diary is really interesting. at one point it was mentioned that maybe he kept the diary for as long as he still believed he could change fate, so i wonder if maybe he kept it until thalia’s death. but also, the idea that he kept it up until right before he left CHB is sooo intriguing, especially with the idea y’all mentioned of him intentionally leaving the diary in the hermes cabin for someone like him to find

anyway yeah those are my thoughts, i might have missed something i wrote in the original message but c’est la vie ig

THANK YOU FOR THESE

1) yes!! i think that's absolutely part of it. emily actually mentioned something like this outside the podcast but neither of us could fully remember how often zeus was supposedly around in thalia's life before she ran so we figured we'd talk about it when it comes up in the reread, but my thought right now before rereading is yes, i think thalia probably blames her mom more for sacrificing jason than she blames the gods and being raised in an environment where zeus is in and out of her life and her mother is constantly searching for signs from zeus could easily have rubbed off on her, while luke is only living with the consequences of hermes' actions and so has never had any reason to yearn for more of his influence in his life. we'll see if that changes once we actually get to thalia & jason's backstory though

2) ok this is where emily's and my thought differs, because i actually think these ideas can co-exist. i don't think luke gave up on the idea he could change fate when he saw thalia turn into a tree, i think he blamed the gods/fates for it but believes his choices can still change the trajectory of his life even after he leaves camp. in this scenario, leaving the diary behind was a strategic decision rather than a declaration of his loss of faith in his ability to change fate though (HOWEVER in a way this version IS giving into fate bc he knows the diary is meant to help him work his way through a world-changing choice and likely feels he's made it when he leaves camp, though considering the choice is to challenge the gods idk if he wants to think of it that way). or maybe he kept it up through botl. though i think he probably feels fate bearing down on him around ttc/botl and starts to give up that hope that he has any choice in any of this.... actually i think we just need a full version of luke's diary with handwritten notes and doodles and interludes where annabeth found it while they were on the run and made a little page for herself and also torn out pages and scratched out paragraphs that make you go Hm.

[stillness-in-green]

AFO is a victim of the biological determinism of his own quirk--like Toga, but moreso.  But damned if I could tell you how the greater narrative about Hero Society and inequality benefits from that. 👀 oh??

Ahaha, well, that's more a "looking for Watsonian answers to Doylist questions" theory than one I'm ready to seriously declare for, BUT.  It is a theory I've had at the back of my mind for somewhere in the neighborhood of two years now, since I first brought it up in discussion with a friend. 

It's largely a theory aimed at addressing why All For One is Like That, beyond a handwave of, "He was just born Like That.  You know—a monster."  I'd say there are two main parts—the biological determinism, and the vestige mechanics.

Hit the jump!

Firstly, we know that people can be influenced by their quirk.  The standard bearer is, of course, Toga, whose quirk gives her an innate attraction to blood that her trying to suppress for a decade eventually led to tragedy.  She's an extreme case, but Re-Destro makes the observation as well, that there is a connection between one's personality and one's quirk.  Think of something like Bakugou's explosive personality, or La Brava's stalker tendencies.

Re-Destro obviously overstates somewhat; there are plenty of characters whose personality and quirk seem to have no notable connection (say Tamaki for example), as well as characters who seem to have a personality that matches their quirk, but may also just be playing up that personality up as part of their social persona (Present Mic).  Still, it wouldn’t be very hard to read a certain amount of compulsion into AFO. There's even some decent evidence for it, in AFO's interactions with the Pussycats!

I could also see his compulsion being—let’s say, enabled by whatever his and Yoichi’s circumstances demanded of him back when they were young.  In such a dangerous world, with the social order having completely broken down, what was he supposed to do?  Just lie down and let them both be trampled over because, without using his quirk, he was as defenseless as his brother? Not likely!

Of course, him telling himself it’s for his and Yoichi’s sake as an excuse for doing what he wants to do anyway doesn’t excuse his many crimes, no more than Toga’s compulsion and family circumstances excuse hers.  Also too, whatever faux-altruism he might once have claimed, he’s clearly long shaken it off by now.  It’s always been notable to me, though, that he did once try to make excuses for his actions.  In the OFA dream flashbacks, he talked about bringing order to a world gone mad; he framed giving and taking quirks in exchange for favors explicitly as a middle ground he was graciously taking between just stockpiling all the quirks he liked and not bothering with social networking at all versus using his quirk only for the sake of others and asking nothing in return.

He’d clearly already gone full-tilt megalomaniac even then, but all the Demon Lord talk was much more vague, only coming up at the tail end of the dream, and only in the form of a stray reference to, “that comic you used to read.”  That was all likely over a century ago, though, and a hundred years is a lot of time to go all-in on the evil overlord thing, especially after his brother was no longer around to make justifications to, and especially after being defeated by All Might.

Secondly, as regards the vestige mechanics, we know that carrying too many quirks can cause mental breakdowns, even catatonia.  AFO, of course, has some natural resistance to this due to the nature of his quirk, but how much resistance does he have?  Particularly given what we now know about quirks having vestiges, what’s the effect on AFO of spending over a hundred years filling up his hind brain with other peoples’ voices, instincts, memories and wills?  How much can we really say that the present AFO much resembles the person Shigaraki Yoichi’s older brother once was?

To be clear, I don't think this idea is very well-supported by the canon.  As far as the story as we have it is concerned, AFO has just been bad news from the start, at least until Yoichi condescends to tell Deku any different.  Likewise, AFO is clearly capable of being discerning about which quirks he takes and which he doesn’t; he further doesn’t seem to have any reluctance to giving quirks away if it suits his needs.  So I don’t think “biological compulsion” is a thing that has a strong sway over him, and any claims he makes that suggest otherwise (as in the images above) are just him being a big chortling sophist.

In terms of “how I’d treat it if I were to write the fanfic,” however, I think it would be interesting to treat All for One (the quirk) as something of an addiction meeting an addictive personality. To wit, AFO was always going to be susceptible to his quirk’s influence, but once he started using it, his ability to resist the impulse eroded further and further over time.  The same thing happened to his mentality—as he fell farther and farther, he threw away the excuses he once relied on and just embraced his hedonistic desire to possess.

As to how this fits the overarching themes of HeroAca?  Well, I don’t really think it does.  For starters, it would have required a take on Deku and One For All that was much less simplistic than the one we wound up with.  If the narrative had really leaned into the idea of OFA as a “cursed” power, if Deku had run into much more serious opposition from the previous bearers over his “save Shigaraki” notion, that would have paralleled an AFO who was ultimately a slave to his own desires better. 

(I’d also want that version of the story to examine All Might’s “Pillar” ideal and his decision to pass OFA forward even after he seemingly defeated AFO. Have Deku question how much of those decisions were really Toshinori Yagi’s and how much were the influence of One For All seeking to propagate itself forward and transform its bearer into a selfless vessel for service, a literal "One" to serve "All," regardless of the pain endured by the vessel. Look, too, at All Might's paternalism, of his and Deku's tendency to deny other people their say in what burdens they would choose to shoulder! There's so much interesting you could do with OFA if it weren't so damned idealized.)

The story we have, though, isn't a psychological horror about subverted identity hiding in the skin of an optimistic shonen action comic. It's about the impact of superpowers on society at large, about structural complacency, quirk-based prejudice, the correct actions of those who have power and those who lack it, about legacy and about what is meant by terms like “winning” and “saving.”  I think quirks with compulsive underpinnings like Toga’s are an important facet of that story, but shouldn’t be the explanation for the man shaping up to be the ultimate face of The Opponent The Main Characters Must Overcome.

Thanks for your interest, anon!  Other anon(?) who asked about the AFO Retcon Theory, that one’s going to take a bit longer, but I will do my best to get it put together in a reasonably timely fashion.

[panlight]

Let's say that YOU are writing the Leah sequel. You HAVE to follow canon but otherwise have free reign to do what you want with her. How would YOU write Leah's story, following off of Breaking Dawn?

I mean, I want her to get the hell out of there and away from all this supernatural drama that keeps upending her life, but a story needs conflict, so if I have to actually write a story about it, she'll have to either a) stay or b) be drawn back in.

I think I'd choose b, where she gets to go away for awhile, have a life. Maybe moves to Seattle or Portland or whatever, goes to college, dates a bit, keeping it casual because she's worried about imprinting and breaking someone's heart as hers was broken. She's stopped phasing and has just started aging again. She's independent and mostly happy . . . and then she gets the wedding invitation. Her mom is marrying Charlie Swan.

She's got no problem with Charlie, really, he's been good for Mom since Dad died and has never tried to overstep his role with her and Seth. Harry's memory is kept alive by both Sue and Charlie and Leah appreciates that. But, ugh, being step-sisters with Bella Cullen is just the worst. She's going to have to be around all the vampires again. She's avoiding holidays unless she knew (via Jacob, since he's still obsessed with Renesmee, UGH sticking to canon!!) that Bella, Edward and the Spawn weren't going to be there.

So she goes back to La Push. The Pack is much smaller now: Sam, Paul and Jared have stopped phasing to age with their imprints. Quil hasn't stopped yet because Claire is still so young (UGGGGGH), Embry and Seth haven't imprinted and are still phasing, and then like, Brady and Colin etc. Jacob is nominally the leader but he's following Renesmee wherever she and the Cullens go, so he's not around that much, which everyone else seems weirdly cool with but Leah resents. She's not mad at Jacob so much as that damned imprint that scrambled his brain the creepy Cullen spawn.

Obviously something big goes down at the wedding that sets a larger plot in motion. Renesmee is fully grown at this point, or close to it. SM would probably have the Big Thing That Happanes be Jake/Nessie getting married and the pregnancy with the inevitable Wolfpire Wonder Twins but um, big no thanks to that.

Maybe we bring in the Children of the Moon somehow? Since SM didn't really do anything with them. They aren't protectors like the Shapeshifters, they kill humans in their wolf-like form, but they are normal people most of the time, so that's not quite the same as vampires being vampires 24/7/eternity. Interesting morality issues there--are they monsters? Or humans who suffer a curse once a month? Maybe Leah falls in love with a CoM werewolf (SM would make them a man, but I'd probably go with a girl) and that's what causes the drama. Like some wedding guest--child of a co-worker of Charlie's, distant Swan cousin, IDK--and Drama Ensues.

Anything to keep her from imprinting of one of the Wolfpire Twins. Although ugh, that's what SM would write, wouldn't she? A boy and a girl, and Leah imprints on the boy and Seth or Embry imprint on the girl. But IF that happened I'd have Leah fight it and choose her Child of the Moon werewolf significant other instead. Leah's got all three bloodlines; maybe she's the one strong enough to break an imprint.