#i think i'm feeling more sensitive to the stuff in my notes today

[traumasurvivors]

What I'm actually stressed about and want to vent about is a personal thing in my life, so feel free to scroll on. But I just want to scream about this and how unfair it is, and have some validation that it is unfair.

I haven't been able to work for months because there isn't work for me. And my husband and I are struggling financially.

Well, on months he doesn't hit a certain "survey" goal at his work, his commission pay gets cut "in half." And while he gets some salary, we really rely on his commission pay to make ends meet right now.

This happened last month, and it really stressed me out because we are struggling so much at the moment. This happens sometimes, but like once in a very rare while. Then I found out that they changed the survey percentage he has to hit to move it up by 15%. And he's informed me that he often doesn't hit the new number.

How it works is anything below an 8 out of 10 is a fail, and he gets a zero for that survey. And he needs a monthly average of 80%. It used to be 65% which felt a lot more fair considering anything below 8 was considered a 0 when the math was done.

But what is extra not fair is the question he loses points on the most is 'would you recommend this place to anyone else' and people often put 'no.' And they even tell him that he was wonderful, but it's about something not related to him. And he gets punished for this. No one in the other jobs at his work deals with this, even if they're the person the customer was really upset at.

What extra sucks is he gets a lot of "well, you were great but like nothing is perfect so I can't give you a high number. I want the company to feel like there's always room for improvement."

I am tired. Even when he makes his full pay, we can't pay for everything we need to. And being shorted by this really threw me this month.

It's why I'm so on edge and stressed. And I am so frustrated and just want to blast his business but that would hurt him as well.

I just think it's so beyond fucked up that they can do that.

[moonrisecoeur]

compliance (how to brainwash your boyfriend) — leon kennedy

author’s note: this was written with re4r!leon in mind bc that’s my boyfriend! angel said so!! i have… so many hypno ideas, some considerably more palatable and some that are Much Worse, so pls let me know if you want more! also this is based off of an audio i listened to once by everdistant-utopia on reddit! the headset concept is kind of (extremely) goofy but i was into it idk. again, i'm aware that mind control isn't real and this is a silly ass concept. i had fun doing it anyway. no leons were hurt in the making of this fic. sorry for not posting it sooner even tho it was done i was extremely embarrassed lol. pls ignore any typos. love you!! thank u!!

wc: 5k

content: sub!leon x fem!reader, afab reader, oral reader receiving, orgasm control, mention of feet for like two seconds

warning: this is dark content. please do not read if the following topics are sensitive to you: noncon, hypnosis, mind control. i dont endorse or encourage this type of behavior irl, its just a fantasy!

—

as you walk down the street, you walk by a flier that’s sitting on the sidewalk. you don’t stop to read it, but one word caught your eye. mind control. it was probably something stupid, something completely made up by some lunatic who thinks mind control is real. mind control is maybe, technically real, in the ‘just relax and close your eyes, breathe deeply and let yourself be at peace’ kind of way. definitely not the ‘put on this headset and let me rewire your brain to make you my pet’ kind of way.

but… would it really hurt to look at the flier? you turn around to see it’s still there, and, against all your better judgment, you decide to walk up to it and pick it up.

it’s dirty, wet because of the rain from last night. even still, you can read the description of the advertised product clearly, along with some more info like a website and contact info for the designers. you take a brief moment to wonder who in the hell comes up with that stuff.

introducing you to the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! perfect for all of your mind control needs! simply place the device over the subjected head and choose what you’d like to do with them. need an obedient housewife? in search of a new pet? want them to be madly in love and obsessed with you? all of that and more is possible with the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! visit our website and order the headset today!

you blink. this is insane. who would do this? who would make this? why would anyone want to make someone do any of this against their will? you feel sick to your stomach as you crumple up the flier and toss it in the nearest trash can.

because that’s… that’s not consensual. that’s wrong in every possible way. unless they gave consent to be, what, turned into an ‘obedient housewife’? that’s really what it said? there’s just no way that’s right. how is that legal to sell? what even was that flier doing?

this feels like the kind of thing that would be sold on the black market, not openly advertised to people on the street. what if some lunatic saw it and just started brainwashing people? no one could stop them, it’s not exactly a crime in and of itself, and any crimes committed would be a little difficult to report if the ‘subject’ was too mindless to notice or to say anything.

whatever. you threw the flier away, you did your job as a good samaritan by tossing it so someone much much worse than you wouldn’t get a chance to look at it, and thus, you can forget all about the headset. pretend you never saw the flier or knew it existed and carry on with your life.

except, you can’t really. it permeates your thoughts, seeps inside of your subconscious until you begin to hypothesize that the headset wasn’t the real hypnosis, it was seeing that flier. you know you must be delusional. it’s not real, you’re not really mind controlled from just reading the flier, but… would it really hurt it buy it? you had the money for it and it’s not too expensive at all.

you hate yourself for it but you look on the website, just as hypnotic as the flier was, and you see multiple variations of the headset. some more suited towards different outcomes for ‘subjects’ and some just different stylistically.

you find the one you were looking at earlier. the ultra brainwasher 3000. it’s a stupid name, you’re aware. it just doesn’t really matter because who’s gonna know that you own this? you’ll keep it, maybe try it out on yourself to see what it’s like. you won’t do anything crazy, maybe like, hypnotize yourself to not be able to sit down until all your household chores are done, just for the day. the ultra brainwasher 3000 claims to have this functionality, and you’re… more or less, curious.

you order it and spend two weeks in absolute hell, making sure your boyfriend is never home alone when the package could arrive. you’re not worried he’d open it and see the device. he doesn’t look through your stuff, but the packing sticker ‘brainmelting industrial company’ would…. catch his eye for sure. try explaining that to your boyfriend, especially because even if you’re a good liar, you’re not to leon.

but, you get it, and it’s perfect because leon isn’t home right now, and you get to play with your new toy for a little bit. the box is smaller than you expected, only including the headset, a charging cord, and a set of instructions.

as you’re reading, the thought only just now hits you. it’s surprising that it’s taken you this long to have this idea, given how it would be someone else’s first instinct.

“should i…” you murmur to yourself, looking around nervously to see if anyone is in earshot, “… should i use this on leon..?”

i don’t know, should you use a mind control headset on your poor boyfriend that was just sent on a mission to save the fucking president’s daughter? maybe not.

you don’t know how it took you this long to come up with the concept. i mean, the flier did mention making someone your obedient housewife, but… they never said that someone had to be a girl…

it’s gross or actually more disgusting, honestly, how excited you get at the prospect of doing this to leon, but you decide that yeah, fuck it, you might as well brainwash your boyfriend. truthfully, what are the consequences? besides… ruining your relationship, betraying his trust, destroying him as a person… eh, it’s only temporary, right? there’s ways to make it only temporary.. and there’s no way he’d remember..

you fiddle with it, curious of all the different things you could do to him. the headset didn’t have presets, you could make up literally anything you wanted him to believe. you could make him the obedient housewife, but you could also make him a servant, maybe even dress him up all pretty as a maid. you could make sure of his loyalty and commitment, make him be so in love with you that even the thought of being with another woman makes him physically ill.

he gets home later that night, worn down and tired and exhausted in every possible way. and you know you’re going to have to put on your best acting skills. you’re not sure if you’re ready to do this, but you’re gonna have to be, so you press a sweet kiss to his lips, one he lingers on for just a moment too long. his lips chase after yours as his eyes open back up slowly, looking at you through his pretty lashes, an eyebrow raised, “what?”

you can’t help but adore him, his bluntness and gruff attitude, yet how soft he touches your waist as he pulls you closer. leon is nothing if not gentle and sweet, and you love that about him, “nothing, i just… i just wanted to look at you,” you say, and it reminds you just how easy leon is. just a couple of words and his eyes get a little glassy, his heart leaping out of his chest just a bit.

it sometimes helps that your boyfriend has been through every form of hell since that day in raccoon city, so sometimes just sweet words and little gestures get a bigger reaction than you’d expect. he’s traumatized and broken down, so the love you give him matters so much more.

in short, he’s easy. he gives in quickly and doesn’t like to fight, not with you. gives you everything you want, doesn’t protest, doesn’t ask for much besides your attention and love.

“you always stare at me,” he says awkwardly. god he’s so not charming that it makes him effortlessly likable.

that’s what’s so sucky about the idea of hypnosis. do you lose the person he used to be? sure, a mindless househusband would be great, helplessly obedient and passive and hardworking, but does this override his actual personality? that’s a bit too scary.

you make an effort to soak in these parts of his personality, enjoying every inch of his pretty little mind. you decide that no matter what you do to him, you can’t ruin him completely. you’d miss his heart, rough and guarded but nonetheless yours.

“i wanna try something,” you murmur to him, your heart pounding a little more than it should, “do you trust me?”

“of course i do,” he says. your heart almost aches, he trusts you so implicitly.

“close your eyes,” you say, and he complies easily.

you step away to grab the headset, and he’s so sweet and good that he doesn’t even peek. you take a deep breath, and commit to it.

you place it on his head, and he grumbles, but doesn’t object. poor thing. doesn’t even realize what’s happening to him.

—

the setting on the headset that you chose wasn’t anything flashy but it was labeled ‘semi-permanent’ and it stated that the subject would not remember anything from the moment of hypnosis to the moment they wake up next. so, all and all, even if you felt horrible, the damage wouldn’t be permanent, and leon wouldn’t even remember what happened.

truthfully, it felt like nothing could go wrong. it wouldn’t alter him too much, just… make him helplessly obedient for a couple hours. you could turn up the intensity if you wanted to, if it wasn’t quite enough to satisfy your curiosity.

you decide that it’s now or never, especially since being lost in your head while your boyfriend is cluelessly wearing what looks like a vr headset is kind of… odd.

you start the application, waiting for it to begin on his end.

“what are you up to?” he asks innocently, probably still not seeing anything while it loads. the question sounds like an accusation, but it’s really not. leon genuinely just wants to know what’s going on. it’s hard not to, but you don’t answer.

you notice the exact moment that it starts because grunts out of nowhere and his whole body tenses, and he clutches onto the fabric of the couch cushions, using that sense as a way to ground himself during an overload of audio and visual stimulation.

you reach to grab his hand, and his grasps yours tightly, desperately, as if physically pleading with you to make it stop.

you whisper to him, “shhh, nice and easy,” you’re not even sure if he can hear you, but you still feel the need to speak. you’re not sure if it’s your voice or your touch but he relaxes just slightly, his breath raggedy and tense. he’s trying like hell to keep himself together, but it’s so overwhelming that it’s hard for him to think, “hey… it’s okay. you’re okay, just… let it happen.”

a pathetic little whimper escapes his throat as his body goes slack, jaw hanging open and arms hanging limply by his sides, “wha… why?” his voice sounds small, weak, and if you weren’t so cruel, you’d immediately take it all back and apologize and just face the consequences.

but you’re too far deep to back out now, even if leon’s pitiful demeanor is almost swaying you to stop, you know you can’t. not now.

“i… i thought you…” he whines, body tensing and spasming as he tries to put some form of coherent thought together, “wha… why..?” he whimpers again, pathetically broken down in just a matter of minutes.

you sit there with him, holding his hand, waiting for the process to be done, and once it is, you take the headset off.

he seems agitated, but doesn’t seem to know what at. his muscles are tense, but he doesn’t make any sudden movements.

“hey,” you mutter gently, and he almost flinches at the sound, looking at you with those wide deer eyes again, scared. you reach out to touch his face, fingers caressing his cheek.

the cogs in his brain turn as he processes what’s happening, and the agitation seems to evaporate and become replaced by a sense of calm and relaxation. he looks into your eyes, and it seems like he’s deciding something.

“leon?”

“yes? how… can i serve you?” he asks, jaw dropping at his own words. he’s so stunned at what he’s saying and how he’s acting yet he can’t help it.

“…address me as… ma’am,” you say, and he shivers, eyes closing tensely as he tries to figure out what the hell is going on, “and go get me something. how about… a cup of coffee? yeah, let’s start there.”

it makes sense that he’s fading in and out, the programming would probably need more time to settle in before it was done and his personality obviously wouldn’t just disappear, but it was still a little bit heartbreaking to watch him fight the voice in his head that is desperate to obey you.

as he disappears into the kitchen, you sit where he was sitting on the couch to take a moment to think it all over.

leon has never been the most… dominant man. he has his moments of aggression and tension that turn into a roughness that his soul seems to often carry, but it’s never controlling. he’s not demanding, he asks nothing of you besides gracing him with your presence.

but due to his past, submission also doesn’t come easy to him. he likes to think he would lean more sub, just because he’s so malleable to your will, so easy to convince. anything you want is yours, and if you want his dignity laid out in the palm of your hand, then it’s yours to keep for eternity. he just struggles to fully give up control, especially since you know he’s not really had much of that in his life.

you kept his personality intact for the most part, but… he just seems so different. he responds pretty much the same, talks the same, acts the same. something just doesn’t seem right.

“here’s the coffee you asked for,” he mutters when he returns, his voice gruff but soft at the same time. he’s… definitely conflicted. the implanted urge to obey you mindlessly and the natural urge to protect his self-respect are fighting in his head. you watch curiously to see which will win.

leon has been through hell, and you can always see it when you look into his eyes. he’s been controlled by the government, a puppet on their strings, since he survived that night in raccoon city. he must be used to a lack of control in his life. but now he’s your puppet, and you have no interest in using him as a killing machine. you have… different plans for him.

“thanks,” you whisper, and he nods, quiet but obedient. just how you wanted him. he stands there beside you, not really knowing what to do with himself as you take a sip, “rub my feet now.”

“..what?”

“you heard me,” you say. and he did.

something in his stomach sinks at the command, a feeling of urgency to do as you say fills his entire being, but it just feels so wrong to him. you’re never this brazen, this demanding.

“come on, leon,” you say, almost condescendingly, pointing to the floor right in front of the couch, “on… your… knees.”

he breathes shakily, but kneels down in front of you, avoiding eye contact as he gives you your damn foot massage. there’s turmoil in his head, easily seen by that deer-like look in his eyes as he stares wide-eyed at the ground. despite his roughness, he’s always had these soft, fragile eyes, reminding you of who he really is. it would be truly heartbreaking to watch him go through this if it also wasn’t incredibly attractive to put him on his knees and order him around.

leon has always been relatively compliant, but now it’s on a whole other level. anything you ask for, despite some inner conflict, he’ll do. you wonder just how far you could push him, but… you don’t decide to test that just yet.

for a few minutes, or however long it takes for you to finish your coffee, you sit there with him. his touch is good but not very skilled. he gets the tension and soreness out though, and you’re sure you could train that into him over time.

“take off your shirt,” you say, and his throws off his t-shirt easily. it lands in the corner unimportantly, and your smirk radiates confidence and something else much more sinister, “stand up, bend over in front of me.”

he closes his eyes tightly, clearly fighting that inner battle but the part of him desperate to get away and to not obey you is losing. he slowly rises to his feet and does as you ask. he places his hands on the coffee table, legs spread slightly like he already knows what’s about to happen. funny, because he doesn’t seem to know much of anything right now.

you stand up, hands touching all over him but particularly grasping at his ass, pulling down his sweatpants and boxers and enjoying the way his muscles flex, tightening and hardening when you grab him, “you never let me spank you,” you muse, almost annoyed, “i get it. you get nervous with power play and letting me dom you or whatever, but i always wanted to hit it just once. just to satisfy the curiosity of what it would be like.”

your hand pulls back and slams against his butt with a loud smacking noise. he gasps, breathing out shakily after the hit, “i… i’m sorry, ma’am.”

“but now that we’re here… and i’ve already got a taste, i don’t think i ever want to stop. so, from now on, no more of that. if i want to slap your ass, i’m going to,” you murmur, “and you will not try to stop me or convince me not to.”

“i.. i…” he whimpers, and for a second you pause, nervously that the real leon, somehow deep down, heard that, “… yes, ma’am.”

“good,” you mutter, slapping it again, feeling the hit in your hand as you pull away, and if you can feel it so clearly then you’re sure he can, “now, be polite and say ‘thank you’. thank me for teaching you how to correctly behave.”

“tha… thank you, ma’am,” he whispers, eyes shutting slowly as his deep inner need to resist is weakening.

“i own you now,” you groan, grasping at his hips posessively, mouth pressing open kisses to his bare shoulder, “no, i… have always owned you. owned your body, you just didn’t realize it.”

he nods, incredibly turned on. his body aches to be claimed, to be made yours.

sure, leon has always been yours, but his body has been purely his. he’s… cautious with it. he’s been more or less just too busy for romantic partners, but somehow you snuck your way into his life and he happily lets you stay. he just… is slowly learning to trust you with himself.

he can do easy, comfortable, casual sex. what he can’t do is hand himself over to you like this, helplessly obedient, submissive in every possible way. as much as leon doesn’t have the energy to fight, tired and worn down, fighting is all he know.

your nails drag against the skin of his torso and back, leaving pretty red lines wherever they go, “no more fighting. no more stressing about it. all you have to do is be mine, unequivocally.”

“i… i am..” he mumbles, and you tilt your head, eyeing him curiously. he notices, shying away, “i… i am yours. unequivocally. you can… you can have me.”

manhandling has always been a little difficult, considering leon is all muscle and he’s a sturdy guy, but you spin him at the hips to face you, and he’s effortlessly moved, “can i… have your body just as much as i have your heart?”

“yes, i… yes, ma’am, it’s yours. do whatever you want with it, ma’am,” he says, a slight daze in his eyes, clearly he’s not all the way there. he's trying. he’s still so soft, so tender and malleable, so leon.

you lean in to press a kiss to his lips, and he melts into your touch, hands grasping him roughly, in a way that might hurt anyone else, but leon is strong. sure, your touch is bruising him, but… he doesn’t have enough

of his mind left to be bothered.

lips trail down his neck and shoulder, but move back up to his ear, sucking on his skin in a vampiric manner. you whisper to him, “you’re gonna only focus on my pleasure.”

“i… i am? i… i am…” he stutters, god it’s so damn cute.

“of course you are. you’d rather eat me out than have an orgasm yourself, wouldn’t you? if i was a crueler person, i would find a way to mind control your orgasms away completely. that way you could… focus on my pleasure, but i’m not that mean.”

he shudders, your lips pressing to the sensitive spot underneath his ear, teeth dragging down his skin, teasing him, taunting him.

“you wanna eat now?” you ask, lips pressed to his collarbone now, and he moans out an affirmative. you suck a hickey against the skin right atop of the bone, admiring the redness, the way you get to watch it turn a disgusting shade of purple. one that should make you nervous to have done to him, only turns you on.

instead of ordering him into his knees this time, you just push him, easily putting his head between your legs. his hands come up to hold your thighs, steadying himself as you half-stand half-sit on the counter. he pulls your pants down enough , but can’t even be bothered to take off your panties, just pushing them to the side.

“can.. i, ma’am?”

you chuckle, not really expecting him to be so polite, “go for it, sweet thing.”

he leans in, pressing a teasing kiss to your clit, just once, before his tongue meets your folds and he licks and sucks like tomorrow won’t come but he’ll make sure you will. he groans into your pussy like he’s the one being pleasured, and that honestly seems like a fair comparison. sure, he was physically pleasing you, but even just the act of giving oral is making his head spin with a satisfaction he has never felt before. he could get high off of this.

leon has always been good at giving head. much better than just good. he’s incredible. it’s the one thing where he can fully just zone out. if you’re too lost in your own pleasure, then you can’t focus on him and how he’s feeling, and there’s something oddly safe about the feeling of being, for all intents and purposes, alone with his thoughts. eating your pussy just comes so natural that it’s second nature.

but now? he can’t get lost in his thoughts if he doesn’t have any. doesn’t mean he’s enjoying it any less. he’s enjoying anything you ask him to do. you could tell him to go fold your laundry and then clean your bathroom and do your dishes and he’s do everything diligently and he’d be satisfied the whole time. god, maybe you do really want a househusband. besides, leon could use the emotional break from his job. he’s content enough serving you.

he makes you cum sooner than you expected, but it’s literally just because he’s that good with his tongue, and when he moved one his hands from your thigh to press two fingers into your cunt, fingering you in thick circular motions as he sucked on your clit, you were gone.

he continues, wet fingers gushing in a fast rhythm as you orgasm, grinding against his mouth, using him completely for your own pleasure. it was always a secret fantasy of his, and now it’s reality, even if his mind isn’t all the way there and the only thoughts running through his head are is she pleased with me? did i do a good job? do i deserve her praise? i should do better next time. i should serve her better. i only want to serve her.

and now that he’s completely helpless, servitude being the only concept he can comprehend, and you come down from a high so intense it took you a second to remember that leon was waiting patiently for your next command, next order.

“put… put me on the couch…” you gasp out in heavy breaths.

he’s strong, and he helps to guide you to the couch, body still part paralyzed from such an intense pleasure. you lay there, still breathing a little heavy.

“go get dressed and cleaned up…” you mutter to him, “and then come back out here and cuddle up next to me.”

he does as you ask, finding his clothes and getting dressed again, and then when he approaches the couch again, you reach out your arms for him. the smile he gives you is almost too real. too… really leon. you still feel that twinge of nervousness in your gut, but then he lays against you, head tucked into the crook of your neck, and you know he doesn’t know. for all that he’s good at, leon’s not a great actor.

you reach your hand up to run your fingers through his hair repeatedly, soft and soothing motions to lull him into a state of compliance.

“you’re mine,” you whisper, hoping he’ll confirm it back.

of course he does, softly, no longer feeling conflicted, “yours, ma’am.”

“you’ll be obedient and submissive from now on,” your voice is soft but carries a dominance he doesn’t quite think he could ever escape nor would he ever want to.

“i’ll be.. obedient and submissive.”

“you’ll only focus on my pleasure,” you say, knowing he’ll repeat it back obediently just like the ones previous, but you feel his rock hard cock against your leg and as much as you want to shove his cock inside of you in an instant, you can’t help but want to control him like that. keep his orgasms just out of reach until he goes mad from the teasing and edging you plan to do to him. keep him nice and horny and desperate, just how you like him. if he wasn’t submissive enough for you before, he is now.

“only yours, only ever yours, please…” his voice is soft and meek and god if you wanted to you could find a mind control that was permanent and just… leave him like this forever. let him take care of your home and future kids and do your household chores and tasks. keep him completely obedient, god it would be…

“you can’t resist,” you whisper, leaning into his hair,

resting your head against his in a soft intimate moment, “i can’t resist, ma’am.”

you nod gently, and after a moment, you sigh, running your fingers through his hair, “i’m.. i love you, leon. sorry about all of this..”

“… why are you apologizing, ma’am?” he asks, tilting his head slightly even in your grasp to show confusion. he really is just like a little puppy sometimes.

“you know.. about the mind control.”

he shrugs, the most unbothered happy smile on his face, “oh, that’s.. that’s okay, i’m fine with it. i.. already belonged to you.”

“but that was in a more… romantic way. an ‘i belong with you’ kind of way. not the kind i did to you,” you say, just a tinge of guilt holding you back, but you push it aside, “it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. i just.. just know i love you. even when i’m ordering you around.”

“i’ll remember that, ma’am,” he smiles up at you just a little softer, just a little more like his true self, just a little more leon. that heavy feeling of guilt in your gut will never quite go away, will it?

you fall asleep on the couch together, knowing or maybe just hoping you’ll wake up to leon not remembering anything. hopefully he doesn’t piece together that he has no memory of you giving him that hickey and those bruises on his hips were definitely not his job's doing.

—

you wake up to a fond smell of breakfast and a bright morning, sitting up off the couch as you look at your phone. leon’s not laying there next to you, which is odd but not completely uncommon. sometimes he goes out in the morning to work out or disappears in the middle of the night when he’s needed somewhere, but most of the time, and today included, he’s just in the kitchen.

you find him there, standing in front of the coffee pot, and you walk up to him to wrap your arms around his midsection, softly burying your face into his back to shyly hide from his gaze.

“awh, morning lovebug,” his sweet raspy morning voice says to you, a hand on your arms, holding you tight so there’s not even a chance you could let go, “missed ya yesterday. did you sleep alright?”

“...mhm,” you hum, pressing a sweet kiss to his shoulder blade.

it’s a sweet moment, full of love and warmth and tenderness and you could have almost forgotten what you did to leon last night had the smell of coffee not been hanging in the air. but hey, at least he doesn’t remember what really happened, though he’s kind of confused just how he forgot how he got all of these bruises and scratches.

[smolvenger]

Hot for Teacher (Professor! Tom Hiddleston x fem! Reader Oneshot)

Summary: After being private about your relationship, your professor boyfriend, Tom Hiddleston, introduces you to his students.

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Some thirsty comments and cursing, but no smut. Established relationship and lots of fluffy moments. Grammar and spelling mistakes that slipped past me. Reader not being a student and being an Adult Adult (tm). A big fancy ball because I decided not some hum drum party was gonna do. (I'm the writer, I can do what I want). I rip off YouTube comments and Ana Huang and stuff I see on Tiktok and Instagram.

A/N: For @holdmytesseract's request! I am sorry this took a while due to stuff happening, but here it is!!!

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Taglist: @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @fandxmslxt69 @skittslackoffilter @mischief2sarawr

You always visited the campus coffee shop on Mondays at 10 am to overhear students being thirsty for your boyfriend. You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at their comments. They were leaving their English Literature Survey class. Only they weren’t discussing books.  

“Sooo nice of him to lower the word count for the essay, he knows it’s a lot.”

“Holy crap, did you see how tight his shirt was today? I could practically see his titties.”

“He needs to quote Shakespeare again. I think I’m developing a kink.”

“If I caught my girl in bed with Professor Hiddleston, I’d tuck him in.”

“If I was at the club and Professor Hiddleston was hitting on my girl, I’d start to cry…because he didn’t choose me.”

“I’m a hardcore lesbian, but Professor Hiddleston is on my cheat card.”

“I’m a hardcore asexual, but Professor Hiddleston is so hot that if I had to get pregnant I’d want him to do the honors.”

You sipped up your drink, sitting in a far corner. Smiling bright as you heard them. Stifling a laugh so hard you could feel your drink always threatened to snort out of your nose. You would cup your face, ensuring they didn’t take note of you. Even get out the notes app on your phone to type them down. Not that you’d ever show him. 

He was their hot Professor. But to you, he was just Tom.

Just Tom. A boyfriend who cared for you respected you, and listened to you. Who did the bare minimum and so much more. They didn’t know his flaws, living with each other's smells and body odors and functions and insecurities. And the little, beautiful moments that made you all the more in love with him. How you would both go to bookstores and geek out after certain works, make a mess in the kitchen trying a new recipe, or stay in your pajamas until 1 pm watching something on the TV. Did they know how loud he snored at night? Or how sensitive his neck was? Or that he was fidgety if he sat too long? 

Then one of them said “His girlfriend is one lucky ass bitch. I wonder what she’s like?”

“Oh…he hasn’t said anything about a girlfriend, do you think…he’s single?!” one asked.

They all shot up like meerkats with big smiles.

You froze, only staring quietly at your drink. 

Tom didn’t talk about you in class. Nothing. Nada. Goose eggs.  They didn't know you existed.

So far you were sure they were not little homewreckers- not successfully, at least. You trusted Tom and he trusted you and his students respected his boundaries. But he blocked them on social media so they wouldn’t dig anything about him. Tom was a private person and he wanted that to be respected by his students. 

When you both met to hang out and make dinner later that evening- his special Spaghetti bolognese recipe, he gave you a hug and kiss on your head.

“Oh, you missed a spot!” you teased.

His eyes crinkled beneath his glasses.

“Oh- uh,” he voiced out.

You dived in to kiss him on the lips, his beard scratching your chin.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Oh, just fine. Your students were…wondering about me today. I saw them at the shop.”

“They didn’t recognize you?”

“No- they don’t know what I look like. Or about me, period…we’ve kept it that way…”

Both of you got into the kitchen, rolling up your sleeves and preparing the pasta and sauce. It smelled of garlic, onion, and olive oil, making your stomach rumble. How easily smelling that in a kitchen could solve all of your problems!

He smiled at you. Then, as the pasta was set to boil in the pot, he turned to you. His sleeves rolled up (making you giddy inside) and his face was a little flushed from the heat of the steam from cooking.

“My angel, I don’t want to keep you in hiding- and you shouldn’t.”

“Tom, what do you mean?” you asked. You stirred the sauce, then tapped the spoon and set it on a jar for attempted cleanliness.

 I love you. And this is a part of my life…would you like to meet them? I promise you, they won’t hurt you. I won’t let them!” 

He went up to hug you from behind and you watched the simmering food.

You paused, taking in a breath. What were you afraid of? Were you ashamed of Tom or being with him? No, not a bit.

 You turned around to face him.

“They’re college kids. They’re basically puppies…I think I’d like to meet them.” you agreed

--:::------::------------------->◇<--------------------::------:::---

You both decided what event it should be that you would meet them. There were events called Bookish Balls that were all the rage now. It was a prom for adults. Proms where everyone dressed like fantasy characters and showed off costumes and even cosplays. It was everything from complex armor to a dress with some elf ears on. 

You knew he had a Shakespearean-era outfit from a play he did that he kept you just had to find the right look. It would be more exciting and less creepy then if you jumped on them at the mall like a pair of stalkers. 

And the ball looked like fun.

You and Tom both arrived. He was in his Shakespearean garb and crown. You had your own outfit- you adored it. You couldn’t help but look at each large mirror you walked by as you walked down the dim hallways with carpeted floors.

All the students were talking about it- tickets were 60 percent off for students. Since they were all raving about these hot new fantasy books between their required reading of Dickens. They all rattled their iced coffees like maracas and gossiped and shared pics of their outfits on their phones every day before class according to Tom. Most of them would all be there.

Little did they know their Professor was going to be there, as well as his girlfriend.

You both arrived at the fine, fancy hotel. Tom was dressed in his leather doublet and pants with a large cape and a grand crown. Ever the king. You had splurged on the fancy outfit you wanted badly- and you felt as if you were a heroine in a story as you walked through.

“You look stunning- they’re going to adore you,” Tom assured you.

You hoped so. If they met you and humiliated you in some way tonight or after, you would move to Antarctica and learn to speak penguin. 

Taking his arm and feeling like royalty, you both went down the fine large building. You saw people gathered. There were some stage lights and the large gala room had trees with flowers everywhere as well as thrones, little game booths photo booths, and a banquet. And, of course, a packed dance floor. A live band played. Many people wore crowns and wings and elf ears and were dancing away with zeal. Women twirled their ballgown skirts with smiles so big it lit them up. Many flicked their capes dramatically or wrapped around them like blankets. There were fairy lights and glitter everywhere and there were photo ops and even a costume contest. It was in full sway.

 Including a crowd that included Tom’s students. They jumped up in time to the song, breathlessly singing along to every word.

Tom held out your hand, both of you feeling like the king and queen looking over their jubilant subjects. You both walked down. Hoping your outfit looked as nice on you as you hoped it would.

The song was entering its last chorus. The student's backs were turned and their capes and wings were bouncing as they danced. They hadn’t noticed you yet.

He went to his group of students and cleared his throat. At once they turned their heads.

They looked at him and then you and their jaws dropped.

Tom said.“hello, here is  Y/N, my beautiful, amazing girlfriend.” He then leaned you in and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

All of their eyes bugged out of their skulls and jaws dropped like broken nutcrackers among them.

You were worried the girls in the group would glare at you like they were going to rip out your stomach intestines.

But instead, all of them collapsed into a collective “AAaaaaawwwwwww, hello!” and “What?! WHAT?!” Their eyes flitted toward Tom in tight leather (who wouldn’t?) and you in your presence. 

You went up like in any social situation. You gave them a smile- warm, genuine, polite, and friendly.

“Hi there, it’s nice to meet you- I heard all about you guys!”

You shook their hands. You got to meet them and learn names- Kelly, Hailey, Jessie, Emily, Daniel, Isaiah, Chase, Cameron, Kat, Miranda, Edgar, and so many more your head spun. But you eventually got it with practice.

But they let you dance with them. Be relaxed and have fun. It moved from a band to a playlist of all the classic dance songs. The band blasted Single Ladies and the girls invited you, dragging you in. You tried to copy the moves from the music video, but couldn’t quite and they all burst into laughter anyway.

It then slowed down- it was a ballad, the Cody Fry song about falling in love being like a symphony.

“Well…could I have a dance with my lady?” Tom asked, holding out his hand.

They gasped and looked at you.

“Oh, what a gentleman! I’d be delighted!” you said, accepting his hand.

They let you and Tom have a slow dance- how handsome he looked in the light, beaming at you. They smiled as if they were watching a rom-com at the end. There were no angry glares- at most, some looked a little reflective and sad. But none dared interrupt the moment with you and Tom.

Would they hate you after seeing the affection?

If so, they shut their mouths and minded their beeswax about it.

There were loads of pictures- you were willing to take some (they were seeing you as the surrogate Adult Adult more than their adults) and they included you in some, including some selfies.

Tom excused himself and returned with even brought you a little plate of food. a plate full of little sandwiches, cheeses, and fruits. You both rested your feet and shared some, feeling their eyes on you. For dessert, there were some gooey brownies that melted in your mouth. Tom eagerly grabbed some, his large hands packing as many brownies as he could. 

But you realized his beard had streaks of chocolate brownies on it, you burst into laughter and you heard some giggling from the students too.

“Oh, let me take care of that!” you offered.

You got out a handkerchief and wiped it off of him. You definitely heard “awwwws” in the distance. Looking at it, his beard was now clean.

“There you go! But dashing as always!” you said.

He held your hand and kissed it. The “AWWWWWS” got louder in the back and you both had to suppress your laughter.

Rejoining the students, you saw them less as little judges or would-be homewreckers. You got to talk to them. Maybe you judged them harshly- you remembered being in college when you were that young too. Of course, they grumbled about the coursework sometimes and you gave your own insight. 

“Oh- you’re seriously reading Persuasion? Oh, just wait! Austen takes some time to get used to when you read her stuff- read them slowly and you will catch onto what’s happening! The yearning in that one is beautiful” you encouraged a distraught Hailey. 

You even discussed what fantasy books they were into and got some more recommendations for your ever-growing TBR. And at the end, every last person in the crowd gathered and danced. You and Tom joined the students with big grins and aching feet, but you wouldn’t stop until that last song ended its phrase. No drama. No pettiness. And no hiding. No fear. Just people at a party. Young and happy and alive.

--:::------::------------------->◇<--------------------::------:::---

The other morning, you were back at the coffee shop. Waiting on them. Soon enough, they arrived in their band, though you remained in the corner. 

“I couldn’t believe he had a girlfriend!” Daniel gasped.

“Really?! I’m not! A man that fine can have his pick,” Kelly commented.

They began to all get iced coffees and gather around.

“She is gorgeous- didn’t you see her at that ball!? And she’s super nice!”

“Yeah…I want them to be happy and he seems so happy-”

“Oh, he is cheesing after her- you saw how he smiled?! And how he got the plate for her? Like, he’s a walking green flag!”

‘She’s so lucky!

“Listen, I am glad they’re happy…I just wish it were me…”

They all sighed and agreed,. You waited for that whole vibe of that phrase to blow away.

Then, quietly you walked over.

“Hello everyone,” you said.

They gasped and turned heads.

“YN! YN, hi!” one boy, what was his name- oh yes, Cameron!-said.

“Oh, I just wanted to pop by,” you added.

Then, Emily stood up. She got out a chair from one table and moved it over to where everyone sat .

“Do you have anywhere to be? You can…you can join us! You’re welcome to!”

You smiled at them and took a seat.

[wheels-of-despair]

A Situation Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: There's only one thing in the world that could make Eddie turn Evil Woman Action down… and it's down there. Contains: Embarrassment, vague mentions of an uncomfortable development in a sensitive area, lying, angry eating, Uncle Wayne being glad he doesn't have the full story, kind of a fight, eventual reconciliation… oh, and some good old-fashioned fruit-fucking. Words: 2.4k

Note: Youths and ageless blogs, DNI. Writer will block your ass.

Other Note: This will never come close to My Beloved Melon Fic, but @fictionaldaze bullied me into another fruit fic anyway. Enjoy! 😂

"Hey," she purrs. Wrapping her arms around his waist. Nuzzling her face into his chest. Breathing out a satisfied sigh that permeates his t-shirt and warms his skin more than the afternoon sun beaming down in the parking lot of Hawkins High.

Eddie relaxes into her and inhales deeply, getting a heavenly whiff of his favorite smell: his one and only.

"Wanna go fool around?" she mumbles.

Eddie feels his dick twitch at the suggestion. No! Stop that!

"Uh… can't today. Promised Wayne I'd scrub the bathroom." Right. Bathroom. Cleaning. Scum in the tub. Hair in the drain. Things that are not at all sexy.

"Need help?" She would really help him with this? That's so sex--NO. Not sexy! Plunger! Wads of slimy hair! The smells!

"Nah, wouldn't want to subject you to that."

She sighs, but it's not the good kind of sigh. She's getting mad. This is the third time this week that he's rejected her advances. And he feels terrible about it. But it's for her own good! Really!

There's something going on down there. He doesn't know what it is. He doesn't know why it's there. He doesn't know how he got it. But he knows that it's ruining his fucking life.

Is it a disease? A rash? Something he picked up in the locker room? Or The Hideout's bathroom, which hasn't been cleaned since 1959? It looks a little less horrifying that it did yesterday, but what if it's a fake-out? What if that's what it wants him to think? What if it's contagious? What if he gave it to her? He'd never forgive himself.

He'd picked up the phone to call the free clinic three times. Once, he even dialed a few numbers before hanging up. He was too ashamed to show anyone, even if they could help him. He'd rather just let his dick fall off and die horny and alone.

"What's with you this week? You're usually all over me, but you have now turned me down THREE times. What are you, on the rag?" She's pulled away. She's glaring. Not good.

"I'm just… not in the mood," he lies, rubbing the back of his neck.

She rolls her eyes and starts walking in the other direction.

"I thought I was taking you home?"

"Not in the mood," she yells without looking back.

Fuck.

Eddie watches her stomp onto the big yellow school bus that she loathes. Oh, boy, is he in for it.

Stop that, he grumbles at himself, adjusting the front of his jeans with a wince as he hops into his van. He speeds home wondering what's more likely to happen first; his dick shriveling up and falling off, or his girl getting mad enough to rip it off and feed it to him. Either way, he's fucking doomed.

When he gets home, he enters quietly, hoping not to disturb a snoring Wayne. He steps into the bathroom to rid himself of the Mountain Dew he sucked down at lunch… and glares at the object of his ruination. Betrayed by his own cock. He sighs at the sight of it - although it does look less alarming than it did yesterday - and after a gentle shake, stuffs it back into his boxers with a hiss.

Eddie's stomach rumbles while he's washing his hands. Don't want that spreading, he thinks as he dries his hands on his shirt. He tiptoes to the kitchen and stares into the pathetically stocked cabinets, hoping for a snack to present itself. He never had this problem at her house. As soon as they got there, she'd throw a bunch of seemingly random stuff together and turn it into something creative that he'd happily bust a gut on… if Gareth would let him.

Shit. Forgot he was supposed to take some of the guys home. It's literally why they were there, loitering in the parking lot instead of peeling out of Hawkins High like two bats outta hell.

Eddie sighs and reaches for a can of pineapple. He'll save the Spaghetti-O's for dinner. And definitely go buy some damn groceries tomorrow.

He grabs the dull can opener, and after a fight, finally gets the top most of the way off. He bends it out of his way and grabs a fork from the dish drainer, leaning up against the kitchen counter to eat right there and reflect on what a shit-show his life has become.

She bought him the pineapple. And the fruit cocktail he ate a few days ago. And the green beans Wayne heated up for dinner last night. Just walked right in and started putting away groceries and lecturing him on "vitamins" and "minerals" and "eating a damn vegetable every once in a while."

He'd blushed and thanked her at the time, but now he wishes he could thank her over the kitchen table. Hard. Deep. Fuck. Stop it!

He stabs a ring of pineapple and lifts it out of the can, letting it drip for a second before tilting his head back and cramming the circle into his mouth. He stares at the takeout coupons on the fridge as he chews, wishing anything sounded appealing right now.

He'll never get to thank her properly ever again. Not that he'd have a reason to, since he'd rejected her so many times, she didn't even want him anymore. What an idiot. He had one thing going for him, and his dick fucked it all up.

He stabs another ring and lifts it to his mouth, spilling the juice down his chin and onto the front of his shirt. He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand and chews angrily.

Why does his mouth feel weird?

Eddie looks at the can. Ingredients: Pineapple. Pineapple juice. This isn't any different than the other can, is it?

Oh.

He didn't exactly eat the other can.

He'd opened the can a few nights ago, being unable to find any proper junk food as a midnight snack, and after he got the lid off... he looked down to see a perfect hole just waiting for him.

He'd been all alone. So lonely. Thinking about his girl.

A strong man would've been able to say no to that perfect hole.

But Eddie Munson was not a strong man.

But after… wait.

Is this it?

Is he allergic to pineapple?

Did he stick his dick in something he's fucking allergic to?

The realization makes him choke. He coughs, leaning over the kitchen sink as chunks of yellow devil-fruit fly out of his mouth at high speeds.

"Y'alright, boy?"

Shit. He woke Wayne up.

Eddie tries to answer, but it kicks off another coughing fit.

When he finally catches his breath and rinses the sink out, he turns… to see Wayne sitting at the table.

"I taught you to chew before you swallow, right?"

"Yes," Eddie sighs with a roll of his eyes. And then he remembers what set him off. "Can you be allergic to pineapple?"

"Is that what you were choking on?"

"Yeah."

"You ate fruit voluntarily?"

"For the very last time. Am I allergic?"

"Mouth feel weird?"

Eddie nods.

"Bromelain."

"What?"

"Bromelain. Meat tenderizer."

"I didn't eat any freakin' meat tenderizers!"

"It's in the pineapple. That's what makes your mouth feel weird. Something with the enzymes trying to bite back or something, I don't know. Used to bother your grandma real bad."

"So it's genetic? I'm allergic?"

"Can you breathe?"

"Yeah."

"Just a weird feelin'?"

"Yeah," Eddie says, shifting uncomfortably.

"You'll be fine. It'll ease up when you quit eatin' it."

Son of a bitch.

"Wayne, I gotta go. Sorry for waking you up."

"Almost time to get up anyway. Stop by the store on your way back."

"I will," Eddie says, darting around Wayne and grabbing his keys.

A knock on your bedroom door interrupts your wallowing.

"No," you grumble into your pillow. When the bus dropped you off a few minutes ago, you'd walked straight to your bed and fallen into it face-first. You hadn't moved since.

You'd spent the loud and bumpy ride home wondering why Eddie didn't want you anymore. You don't know what changed. He was always ready to go at the drop of a hat. Hell, he'd get horny if the wind changed directions and blew against him just right. And then, all of a sudden… nothing. Even when you made the first move - which he used to love - you got shut down. What was the fucking problem?

You hear your door open, and wish you had the energy to throw something at your dumb brother.

But Eddie is the one who crawls into bed next to you.

You don't want to look at him. You turn your head so you're facing the other direction.

"I brought you a flower."

"Kay."

"I stole it from Mrs. Wallace's garden."

You smile, even though he can't see you. Mrs. Wallace is the old bat down the street from him who's always yelling at kids for playing too loudly and creating a public nuisance. Like her screeching isn't a public nuisance of its own. It's a wonder she has any blooms left, with all her spite-pickers.

"I love you," he says.

"Doesn't feel like it."

Eddie sighs a deep sigh.

"What changed?"

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"I mean, a week ago, you were practically humping my leg every time we got a second alone together. Now it's like…"

"It's not like that."

"What's it like, then?"

"I had… I had kind of a scare."

He pauses so long, you prod him with a "Continue."

"I had kind of a situation down there and I thought something was wrong but it's getting better and I didn't want to freak you out."

You turn your head back toward Eddie, who is lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. "A situation?" you ask.

"It was nothing, it's getting better, everything's okay, it'll be back to normal in a few days."

"A situation like a zit, or a situation like something you need to go to the clinic for?"

His face goes red. Your blood turns to lava. You prop yourself up on your elbows and glare down at him.

"Because I know I'm clean, and since you were a fucking virgin when we met, there is no reason for you to--"

"It's not that!" he cuts you off.

"Because if it's that, you need to tell me right the fuck now."

"It's not!"

"Then what the fuck is it, Eddie?!"

He brings his hands to his face and presses the heels of his palms into his eyes.

"Eddie!"

"I…" he squirms. "Did something stupid."

"How stupid?" you spit.

"So stupid we're gonna laugh about it one day."

"Spit it out, fucker."

He spreads his hands to cover more of his face.

"Eddie," you warn him.

He slowly drags his fingers down his face and exhales.

"Ifuckedacanofpineapple."

"What?"

He winces.

"I fucked a can of pineapple."

He… what?

"And apparently there's something in pineapple that I'm allergic to or something? Wayne said my grandma had it too. But it fucked me up for a few days and getting hard hurt so fucking bad and that's why I've been distant but it's getting better and it's gonna be fine."

You stay silent for a minute, trying to process Eddie's confession. How the fuck… why the fuck… how?

"You fucked a can of pineapple?"

Eddie rubs his face. "Yeah."

"How?"

"I just… don't make me say it."

"Oh, you're gonna say it," you tell him, turning to lie on your side. "I need details. I need to know everything."

"No you don't."

"Eddie, I have never wanted to understand something so desperately in my life. Explain it, or we're going into the kitchen for a demonstration."

"No!" he barks, instinctively drawing his legs up and covering his crotch.

"Explain!"

He whines, and he squirms, and he looks at you pathetically. But you're far too curious to let this slide. Eddie pulls the pillow out from under his head and covers his face with it.

"Edward."

He lets out a long groan, and eventually moves the pillow out of his face. He hugs it to his chest.

"I was high and bored and lonely and hungry and I figured I'd try it so I could tell you I ate fruit and you'd be proud of me and stuff and I got the top off and there was just this… big… wet… hole? UGH!" Eddie groans and flips over to his stomach, taking the pillow with him to cover his head. You watch him wallow in his misery, becoming more amused by the second.

"Oh my god," you say in wonder. "I'm in love with a moron who literally fucked a can of pineapple."

Eddie tilts his head just enough so that you can make out his mumble: "I took it out."

"Took what out?"

"The can had sharp edges. I took out the pineapple and put it in a sour cream container before…"

You snort. He hides his face again, and you picture Eddie Munson dumping a can of pineapple rings into an old sour cream container the Munsons use as Tupperware and going to town on it. Right there in the kitchen. Sloshing pineapple juice down his legs and the cabinets and onto the floor.

You lose it. You cackle until your sides ache and tears stream down your face. You wipe them away with the backs of your hands, and look to Eddie. He's less red, but still clearly embarrassed as he stares at the ceiling.

"I take it you're not mad?" he asks.

"That you cheated on me with a can of fruit?" Another giggle fit erupts, and he lays there calmly while it passes. "Sorry," you say finally. "So you're allergic to pineapple?"

"I think it's safe to say that it's not something I'll be trying again anytime soon."

"What did it do to you?" you ask curiously.

"It kinda… it… uh… wasn't pretty."

"Can I see it?"

"No."

"Are you okay?"

"Will be."

You scooch closer, and he holds out his arm so you can snuggle into his side. You rest your head on his chest and slide your hand across his stomach until it reaches the other side.

"I'm glad you're okay," you say quietly. Eddie's hand begins stroking up and down your back. A thought occurs to you, and you smirk. "But it serves you right for trying to cheat on me with a can of fruit."

[nabateaprodigy]

I'm so sorry if you actually aren't taking requests I am a little confused as English is not my first language I'm still learning as I go

could I request for kokichi and nagito for a s/o that's emotionally sensitive, cries alot and comes off as clingy and really enjoys simple physical touch like hand holding and pats, stuff like that generally (thank you if you can and so sorry if you closed requests for all)

Kokichi and Nagito With a Sensitive S/O

Series: Danganronpa.

Characters: Kokichi and Nagito.

Genre: Fluff.

Reader: Gender Neutral.

Notes: Don't worry! Your English is fine! Honestly English is my first language and sometimes I can't even write or speak it lmao.

Kokichi

This little...well at first like anyone else he would trick and play pranks on you. When he first played a prank on you he expected you to be confused or annoyed. He well...he didn't think you would end up crying because of the prank.

Because of this, he ended up feeling pretty guilty about it. So pranks were something he wouldn't do to you. Well, he'd still prank Miu, Gonta, Shuichi, and the others.

So instead he'd tease you! Not nearly as bad as a prank so this would be fine right? Well, it seems not you'd also get upset from the teasing as well. What a horrible boyfriend always making you cry smh. 🙄

But over time he'd come to realize this was just how you were and to keep the pranks and teasing to a minimum or stop all altogether if that's what you wanted. However, in his heart he couldn't stop teasing you he just had to see your cute flustered face!

I feel like Kokichi would at first act annoyed by how clingy you are. But in truth, he loves it oh so much. He loves how you feel comfortable and safe to hold hands and hug him.

In truth, it probably also made him a little overprotective of you. But seeing your smile and just the fact you've stuck with him. Means the world to him and he wants nothing more for you to be safe and happy.

Nagito

"Huh? Why would want to hug trash like me?" This mf I swear it never stops with him 🙄. He knows you're clingy but he still doesn't understand as he puts it to hug. "Trash like me."

(Tbh he should know the answer because he's your boyfriend!) Even though Nagito says things like this he loves how clingy you are with him. Plus in my opinion, he'd be great to cuddle with just look at that hair! It's so soft!

I feel like if you don't see Nagito for a while or if he's with his friends. You can get pretty jealous and even more clingy! If he is talking with someone you'll go up and hug him from behind.

Honestly, if you were to cry or ever feel insecure Nagito wouldn't allow you to feel that way for long. You're his S/O you're amazing and are such a great person! He'll love you no matter what so don't be afraid to tell him anything.

In his eyes, you're an angel and he thanks his luck he was able to be with you. If you ever are feeling down have no fear Nagito is here! He wants you to be happy so if you're feeling down he can be just as clingy!

Of course, he'll get cuddly with you and get you whatever you want! Just ask as long as it's for it's worth it. "You look wonderful today angel. I know trash like me doesn't deserve it but can I have a kiss?"

[phoenixastramurdercore]

(Personal Stuff) Survived Yet again! Had a Mini Stroke, Worried bc Stroke Survivor!

Hey, I wanted to get back into art so bad I might need to go a bit slow. I had a major stroke 7 years ago and recovered pretty well over the years despite having multiple physical disabilities, lots of my memories recovered, my mobility recovered(besides pain issues and some other disabilities that spike if I move around TOO much)

And chronic fatigue isn't as bad/fluctuates. But I have to get more excercise even if it hurts me so that also leaves less time to draw and I have to take it easy/not think too hard about anything right now. I was really excited to get back into art and like do a whole bunch of stuff! But for some reason my overexcitement to do all the things game me a ton of symptoms over the past week of when I had a stroke like right before I had one, besides the face droop mostly I had a mini stroke yesterday and It was fairly short. I feel better today, I'm okay, But I wanted to let you guys know I've been gone for a while because my healths been really, really bad hahaha. I keep trying to improve it and do what I can, my physical body is so so sensitive to just mental overthinking and silly stuff to the point where I was overexerting my...brain? it's really hard to explain. Anyways! I'm fine, I'm okay, but I gotta go real slow at everything rn because that leaves me very prone to having an actual stroke again, and I don't want to know what another one would do if I survived it. Just MAN ya'll this just a note like take care of yourself, not trying to make anyone *panic* but stress is so so real and is so dangerous, legitimately. A lot of drs neglected my severe anxiety/panic attacks for yeaaaaarss like I was having panic attacks so often they eventually became seizures, and then I got more and mor health issues wrong with me. Stress can destroy you from the inside out. My dad also thinks I had a stroke or something like a stroke when I was 19/20 or something like that and he didn't know it was one at the time! and I didn't even know it happened. So if you aren't aware please know what the signs are. I had eye twitching and bad dizziness/vertigo for days and I could barely comprehend/what was being said to me, kept misunderstanding stuff and was reading/hearing things wrong and could not process stuff correctly. i kept forgetting what I was doing, or where I was or if some stuff existed. Now it's hard because some of my anxiety stuff can do things like that too. But the migraines and headaches I've been getting have been so bad, but then the numbness on one side came, and it was worse on the left side of my face(which is where I got face droop years ago) and my words werent totally slurred but weren't coming out right. WHEW. Following up with my dr soon and specialists..but they are booked far out so I hope she can see me sooner. But seriously guys take care of your mental health. You NEVER know what will happen fr. Life is so unpredictable! Stay strong <3 And prioritize your health no matter what happens.

[elizabethplaid]

daily notes - april 17, 2024

Idk how y'all deal with how compact everything is on tumblr's mobile site. I just tried it for the first time, and it felt cramped. I'm also fussy about change, so it's more about my hang-ups than something actually being wrong.

Languid, lounging day. Bedroom window was open, so I stayed in bed for an extra few hours, playing on my phone. (Took meds and ate before going to bed this morning, so I am still being mildly responsible.) Moscow was in the window, enjoying the view. The neighborhood livestock made a lot of sounds today, mostly some lamb or kid lamenting frequently. Donkey has been heard but not much today.

Sinuses are draining again, as "seasonal sneezonals" come 'round. I've mentioned being careful about blowing my nose, with the dried stuff being mixed with scabs. Somehow, I loosened something deeper today. Not a bleeder that couldn't be stopped (what I usually call a nosebleed), but certainly bloody and raw from inside my sinuses. If it's not dripping onto my face, I don't usually worry about it.

Dad made something with strong herbs tonight. Not gross or burning like his usual "bad smell" dishes. (Mexican and Indian spices are too strong for my nose. I take a calculated risk with my taquito indulgences, where it smells stronger than it tastes.) Probably some sort of Italian ravioli thing; I didn't look at the package. I'd probably eat it on another occasion. I'm just sensitive tonight.

My sister called, and it seems my younger nephew is graduating high school this year. Dad is thinking about going out to see everyone, but he planned for me to stay behind. The idea of a cross-country trip didn't seem ~as~ scary as it has in the past, but I know I'm not chill enough for my sister's family's chaos. They're wild and loud, and there's a lot of people. Besides, it's my nephew's time to shine; I need a more chill atmosphere.

Speaking of, I talked with LL-K some more about her wedding plans. We talked about snacks and some accommodations. I mentioned preferring not to touch my food when I eat, or needing to wipe my hands and how I wash my hands to self-soothe. "Elizabeth, I would obviously let you in the house to wash your hands!" she said, seeing how I was starting to spiral. I also had to ramble about bananas for a bit, because I just really love them.

I'm also really grateful her older brother is neurodivergent. She's already planned some things with him in mind, and she's said I've helped her gain better insight. It's always good to feel valued. <3

[anythingelsereally014]

I had this one in my private notes, so yay! Not many sneezes, loads of angst, mentions of death and intravenous stuff. No one dies, though, just a really really bad flu

I don't know the word cound, I'm sorry, but it's big

ma/rauders sick j/ames

"I think you're getting sick, mate," Peter says casually to James at the coffee shop. James is on his break, Sirius told him to take his time because he isn't feeling great. "Take it easy today, are you sure you can't leave early?"

"You know I can't, not today."

Normally, Sirius and Remus would be fine on their own, the three of them run the coffee shop by themselves and when one of them needs to leave early or stay home, it's not a problem. But it is the day of the full moon, meaning that Remus is in pain and mustn't overwork himself.

They have a rule for that, the Marauders, a rule they can't break, Remus isn't allowed to tire or overwhelm himself next to the full, it may lead to terrible consequences.

Peter sighs. "I know that you're right, but Merlin, the way you run this shop it's annoying sometimes. You should hire people, you own this fucking place, having staff would help you."

"Nuh uh," James shakes his head, they have had that talk before. "You know we don't want a big shop, just a family thing, but I can't leave them alone today, no matter how awful I'm feeling."

"Right, I get it," Peter looks at his phone and gets up. "I have to go, take it easy, don't force yourself too much, save your strength. I'll tell Regulus to meet you here and drive you home."

"He doesn't like to drive."

"I'm sure he won't mind, he knows we have to go with Moony tonight."

And with that, Peter leaves, his break is over and he needs to go back to the hospital, so James decides to get back to work too, clean the counters and wash the dishes, at least. He'll try not to interact with costumers too much, besides the possibility of him being actually sick and infecting them, socializing always drains him.

He isn't feeling so bad, really, just overly tired and sensitive, could be an emotional thing, he can get like this, even achy and weak sometimes.

"Are you sure you don't want to leave, James?" Remus asks in the kitchen. "You're looking pale."

"I'll stay, I'm sure I'm just tired."

Remus pulls James' eyelids with his thumbs and tutts. "What the fuck, Moony?"

"Even your eyes are pale."

"I'll be fine, we're slow today, you know the rule, you have to take it easy, especially today."

"Alright," he nods with a frown. "if anything changes you'll tell us, promise you'll tell us."

"I promise."

The day was pretty slow, as James had said, and they closed early. The coffee shop isn't really for money, more of a hobby, so it isn't really a problem. "I'll see you at eight, Reg said he'll make us something for breakfast, so we're going straight to my house after, alright?"

"Are you sure you're coming today?" Sirius asks with a frown. People are frowning at him too much today. "It'll be a good moon, we'll be fine."

"I am, don't worry, I know what I can or can't take."

"And are you sure you're alright to drive home on your own? Don't you want us to stay with you and wait for Reg?"

"Merlin, Sirius, I'm fine, just a bit tired. I already texted him to say he can go straight home, he likes apparating better, cars make him sick." They nod. "See you soon."

"Take care of yourself."

James rolls his eyes, but smiles at them. He'd probably do the same thing if it was Peter or Sirius on his place, but he won't be able to live with himself if he doesn't go tonight.

Sure, he was feeling a bit weird on the drive home, but he got there safe and texted his friends to make sure they knew he was alive.

.

He wakes up with Regulus' hand on his forehead. "Peter said you're ill, I do think you're a bit warm."

"Welcome home, Reg," he smiles. "I would kiss you but if I'm sick, maybe I shouldn't."

"You know I don't care about it, don't you?"

"Well, I do," he gets up and walks to the kitchen. "I brought scones and bread for us, could you set the table so I can get ready?"

"Are you sure you're going?"

"I'm just a bit tired, Reg, it's a short night and Moony is in a good mood, I'll be fine."

"Alright," he bites his lip. "I'll make breakfast for you and if anything happens, send me a patronus."

"I will, don't worry."

He walks to the bedroom and all but collapses on his bed, sighing and rubbing his eyes. His head is starting to hurt and his skin is sensitive, not just the regular emotional tiredness, then. He gathers all his things and takes a deep breath. He'll be fine, he always is.

It was half past seven when he got ready, so he had to eat quickly, kissing Regulus' head in goodbye and apparating to Sirius' house, the moon would rise at nine and set at five, it'd be fine.

"You're looking even worse, James," Remus points as soon as he gets there. "Are you sure you're coming?"

"I am," he sighs, rubbing his temples. "Just a headache, do you think a painkiller would be a bad idea?"

Peter doesn't need to be asked twice, finding a bottle of ibuprofen out of nowhere and giving him two pills. "It'll be a great idea."

James isn't one to take medicine, he doesn't like it, but desperate times asks for desperate measures.

.

The night wasn't bad, as they had predicted, Moony was in a great mood and didn't even try to hurt himself, they mostly ran through the forest until the sun started to appear. That's the worst part, seeing Remus in pain, rearranging all his organs and breaking all his bones just to come back to his human form, they were really disturbed when they first saw it happening. When Remus said it was painful, they didn't really understand how painful. Seeing his brother like that always breaks his heart.

Soon enough, James is back home. It's a sunny and warm day, the only problem is that he was shivering just as much as Remus.

It's alright, really. Staying awake and active all night just made him feel worse, but he'll be fine once he can rest.

"You're not going to work today," Sirius tells him at breakfast. "Moony and I can take it, stay home and rest."

"Isn't he tired?" He asks them, then looks at Remus. "Aren't you tired?"

"I'm better than you, please stay home today, we'll see how you feel tomorrow."

He looks at Peter and Regulus, seeking professional opinions, but both of them agree. "I can take Regulus' patients today," Peter says. "This way you won't be alone."

"I just have a slight fever," he looks at his husband. "You can go to work, I'll be alright on my own and I will call you if anything happens."

"Alright, I'll have my phone with me."

James actually slept the whole day, only waking up to the sound of the door being unlocked and Regulus coming in. He managed to feel even worse than before, not only is he shivering, he's freezing cold, his skin is sensitive and achy and his head feels clogged.

"You didn't send any news, James, what happened?"

"W'time is it?"

"About seven, I got caught up with a patient and had to stay for a bit longer, I texted you, but you didn't reply, I was worried sick."

"I'm glad you didn't leave early," Merlin, his throat is burning with every word. "I just slept the whole day."

Reggie leans to kiss his head and widens his eyes, he didn't even touch him, why did he widen his eyes?

"Take of your clothes and take a warm shower."

He wants to tease him or complain, but he doesn't have the strength, everything is feeling slow and weird. Moving isn't so easy either, even the effort of lifting his head makes him dizzy.

Oh, bloody hell, he is worse than he thought.

"Reg," he whispers. "I'm not feeling well."

"I know, James," he says softly. "You feel really warm, I need you to get up and take a warm shower."

"I can't," he feels his eyes burning. "I'm sorry, I should have stayed home last night."

"It's alright, it's alright. I'll help you, do you think you can get up with help?" He doesn't think so, but nods anyway. "Are you sure? I can just get a wet cloth if you think you can't get up."

Merlin, he can't even answer him. What is happening to him?

"I'll be right back, alright? Just stay awake."

Things feel foggy, he doesn't think he'll be able to stay awake, he wishes he hadn't woken up.

"James," Regulus calls from somewhere in their flat. "Talk to me, can you talk to me?"

"I guess," he croaks thickly, but it comes out no louder than a whisper.

"Talk to me, what about that thing you were reading? That character you told me about?"

Oh, that. He usually feels so excited when thinking about that. He can't, though, everything is hurting. A painful cough escapes when he opens his mouth to speak.

"I'll be right back, please stay awake."

He's trying to. He is, he promises he's trying.

.

He wakes up with Regulus lightly shaking his arm, the lights have changed, it's darker now. And Regulus had showered, his hair is wet.

"I think I managed to bring your fever down a little."

"I tried to stay awake, Reg."

"I know you did, I'm not angry, I promise."

"But you told me tohh heh'tshiew huh'eshiew snfff." Oh Merlin, he sneezed on his husband's face. Wetly. But he can't gather enough strength to apologise properly. "You should stay away from me, I'm obviously sick and I don't want you to get sick too. I'm sorry. I don't know what happened, I couldn't hold it, I'm sorry."

"Oh, James, don't worry. I'm not leaving you for this, I see worse every day, I might even be the one who got you this sick."

"But you're fine, aren't you?"

"Fine people can still transmit viruses, love. I had a patient with a high fever and a bad upper respiratory infection a couple of days ago, she was dreadful, the poor thing. I've already been exposed to this and you don't have to worry about getting me sick."

"Alright."

"Can you sit up for me?"

He does with Regulus' help, but not without feeling dizzy again. "I really don't feel well."

"I can see that," he says softly with a kiss on his temple. "Do you think you can drink some water, at least?" He shakes his head. "Could you please try?"

"Do you think I got them sick too?"

"No water, then?" He asks, the glass already in his hand.

"I can try." It would have been more embarrassing, weren't he feeling so bad. He is literally drinking water with a straw and his husband's help because he can't hold a fucking glass.

"Thank you, honey, you did a good job."

"Do you think I got them sick?"

"No, I don't think so. The girl's parents were fine and so was her brother, they said she woke up feeling weird and suddenly she felt like that, we didn't have time to run more tests, but I'm pretty sure it was the flu. If they were getting sick, they would have shown the symptoms already."

"What do you mean you didn't have time? Did she die?"

"James..." He doesn't answer. Nobody speak for a while, Regulus keeps caressing his hair in complete silence. "Do you think you can drink more water?"

He doesn't answer again, but Regulus put the straw in his mouth and he drinks a bit more.

"Will you be alright on your own for a couple of minutes? I'll be quick." He doesn't answer again, he can't. "James, love, please answer me."

"Alright."

Regulus leaves and the room immediately feels colder.

The thing about living in a flat with thin walls is that you can hear everything that's happening in the whole apartment. "He's really sick, Barty, I don't know what to do... I know, I know, but what happened to her... But I'm so worried... Do you think so?... Shouldn't I take him to the hospital?..." The hospital? James freezes. He's really going to die. He hears Regulus sobbing. Oh, Merlin, Regulus will be so sad, and his friends too. Oh no, his parents, it'll break their hearts. "Right, I'll do that. Are you at the hospital right now?... Good, please tell Peter to come here when he can, would you?... Thank you, Barty, thank you so much... I love you too... I know, I know. God, I know, Barty, I'm just worried, I hate to see him like this, he can barely drink water... I know, I will... I will... Bye."

He hears some shuffling in the kitchen and soon Regulus comes back with another glass. "Can you drink this for me? All of it."

It tasts terrible, but he has to drink it. If he is going to die, he'll do everything to make sure Regulus knows it's not his fault. James knows him, he's already blaming himself.

"I work with people, Reg, this could be anything, you can't be sure it's what she had and you can't be sure you brought it home. We both work with people all day."

"I know." His voice is so thick, he'll start crying again. "I need you to drink all of it, James."

"All of it," he echoes. "All of it. All of it—"

"James."

"I'm just repeating it."

"I know you think it's soothing, but can you say something else?"

"Why did you call Barty?"

"You heard me?"

"I'm sohh heh'tishh hah'ishhh heh'tshiew snfff sorry. I didn't mean to."

"God bless you, love," he says while kissing his forehead. "I called him because he was there with me. Her parents didn't believe she was feeling bad at first, they weren't really..." He sighs. "They reminded me of my parents, that's why Barty was there with me, I couldn't stay alone with them and he was the only one I trusted to stay there with me without judging." It got even worse, how did it get even worse? He needs to comfort him. "It took them over a week to take her there, she was dehydrated. Of course they didn't tell me that, her older brother did, he told me he tried to make her eat and drink, but she couldn't, and their parents didn't bother even looking at her until he made a scene in front of guests."

"Oh, Reg, I'm sorry you had to take that case, it must have been terrible for you."

"I think it was for the best, I could talk to her brother and call the police on their parents. It didn't end well, but I think it could have ended up worse, if the boy had to go back with his parents."

"It still must have been really hard, you know you can talk to me, don't you?"

"Do you know the craziest part? His name is Rigel, her name was Zeta," he laughs, but there are tears in his eyes. "It's like I managed to save Sirius, in a way, just like they saved me."

"Did you get to talk to them about that? I think it'll be good for both of you."

"You're not going to die, James."

"But she did."

"I'm keeping you hydrated and if you're not better until tomorrow morning we're going to the hospital so we can treat you there."

"If I die—"

"You won't."

"Listen to me," he says hoarsely. "If I do die, it'll not be your fault."

"You won't die."

"I feel awful, Reg. I don't think I've ever felt this bad before. I need you to understand it won't be your fault. You have to promise me you understand that."

"I do, but you won't die, I won't let you."

"And you'll talk to my parents, you'll tell them what happened and what you told me, they'll be happy to know you helped Rigel. They won't blame you, no one will. Please don't blame yourself."

"I need you to stop."

"Do you understand?"

"James, you will not die, please stop saying that."

"Tell me you understand."

"James," he sobs. "You can't die because I won't let you, I forbid you. She was neglected and you're not, I'm here for you and I'll take care of you. You're already sounding a bit better than you did when I got home."

He isn't really feeling better, but decides against saying that. "What did you make me drink?"

"It's something to keep your electrolytes normal, water isn't enough to keep your brain working."

"You're so smart, I love you so much. You know that, don't you?"

"You can tell it to me throughout our whole lives, you don't have to tell me now."

"I still want to."

He is actually really calm about it, it's a part of life isn't it? He just hopes his family will be alright. "Peter will be here soon."

"Why did you ask him to come?"

"Because he's more experienced than I am and I want more than one doctor with you." He closes his eyes, his headache is getting worse and he starts shivering again. "James, honey, look at me."

"Cold."

"Your fever's back. Can you drink more water?"

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright, James, you'll be alright."

"Do you think I can sleep? Or is it dangerous?"

"Of course you can sleep, love, it's not dangerous. But I'll have to wake you up from time to time, make sure you drink water and talk a bit."

"Alright," he sighs softly. "Will you stay with me?"

"I won't leave your side."

"You can leave if you need to, you have to eat and drink water too. And use the bathroom."

Regulus chuckles and kisses his head. "You're alright, you'll be alright."

"Reg, don't let mom and dad near me. I know you'll probably tell them I'm ill, but don't let them come."

"I won't," he caresses his cheek. "Sleep now, you'll feel better soon."

.

He wakes up again with Peter's soft voice. "Can you wake up for me, Prongs?" Merlin, he is still feeling horrible, even worse than before. He opens his eyes, but doesn't speak. "James, I know you find speaking hard sometimes, but I need you to answer me. I need you to say something to show me you're lucid and understanding me."

Of course he's lucid and understanding him, he's awake for Merlin's sake.

"What's your name?"

"What do you mean what's my name? You know my name."

"Then tell us, darling, please."

"My name is—" He freezes. "My name is—"

"Prongs, tell us your name."

"My name is—"

"Oh, God, oh God, oh God," Regulus chants with his hands over his face. "Oh God what did I do."

"I'm alright, Reg, I promise I'm alright."

"You don't know your fucking name, James. You're not alright."

"Regulus, I need you to calm down, drink some water and wash your face, then make another salt and sugar drink."

"I'm calm, I'm calm, I'll be right back."

"He's not calm and I'm lucid," he tells Peter. "Help him first, please."

"Can you tell me your name, then?"

"I know my name."

"I know you do," Peter puts a hand on his forehead and hisses. "Oh, mate, you're feeling awful, aren't you?"

He fells his eyes watering, he's going to cry. Why is he going to cry? So what if he's feeling awful? He shouldn't cry because of it. "My mind is weird."

"I bet it is," his voice is soft, as if he's soothing a child. "We'll get this fever down and you'll feel better."

"You should be a doctor, a kid's doctor."

"James, I—"

"Honey," he hears. .. Reg. Reg. He hears Reg calling him calmly. "Can you tell me what a kid's doctor is called?"

"A pediatrician, I'm not daft."

"And do you know who he is?"

"Of course I know who he is."

"Tell me, then."

"He's... He's my friend, he's one of my best mates, he's Wormtail."

"Great, and what's my name?"

He isn't feeling well. "Please stop. I know you. I know who you are and I know your name," his breath hitches. "Just stop asking me questions, please."

"James, mate, I need you to try," he turns to the other man. "Give him the water, he's severely dehydrated. I'm calling Moony."

He's calling Moony. Moony... "Don't call him, he needs rest. I don't remember why, but he does."

"James, honey, I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

He shakes his head and basically forces the straw into his mouth. "Drink this, for the love of God, drink this."

He does, slowly. It takes him some time to finish the whole glass, it was a big glass full of nasty water. "Why does it taste so bad?"

"It's salt and sugar, it's going to help your brain to function, you'll feel better soon."

"I'm cold, Reg," he whines. "You're a doctor, can't you make me feel better?"

"I'm trying to, James," he whispers. "You will feel better soon."

"Can I sleep again?"

"Can I try to get your temperature down while you sleep?" He nods. "Then sleep, I'll stay with you."

.

He wakes up to a lot of noise, his flat is too small to fit that amount of people. Regulus is still next to him, he has changed his clothes and is asleep next to him.

He should wake him up, shouldn't he? Even though he doesn't want to, he should. He can think clearer now.

"Reg?" He jumps. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you but—"

"What's your name?"

"My name is James. You should know that by now."

Regulus smiles, a tiny smile, but a smile nonetheless. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shite."

"Is your brain better?" He nods. "Can I ask Peter and Lily to come here?"

"They're here? Why are they here? When did they get here?"

"Oh, you don't remember, do you? Peter came a few hours ago, he helped bring your fever down when you were delirious. Lily came a bit after you slept, she brought supplies from the hospital," he points the catheter in his hand. "We managed to get your fever down and keep you hydrated."

"Is this even legal?"

"I promise it is, it's homecare, better than taking you to the hospital and risk you getting pneumonia or something worse."

"You can let them in, please."

Regulus nods and leaves the room, all the noise coming from the living room cease and he closes his eyes and takes some deep breaths. Not his best move, though, he has to sneeze and he only has a hand towel next to him.

Oh well.

"God bless you, James," Lily says cheerfully. "How are you feeling?"

"I can say my name now, so that's something."

"It definitely is, but other than that? I can see you're pretty congested, is there anything else?"

"I'm not sure, I'm feeling better than I was before, but still horrible."

"Regulus said that you had a sore throat and that you were coughing, right?" He nods, he had forgotten about that part, that brain fog he was feeling before was too terrifying for him to pay attention to anything else. "A bad case of the flu, I think."

"Bad?!" Remus says at the door. "Lily the man was delirious, he didn't know his name, he didn't know Pete's name and he didn't know exactly who I am."

"He's prone to high fevers, though," Sirius says behind Remus. "And with those, comes the chills, the sweating, loss of fluids and whatnot."

"Peter's prone to high fevers and I've never seen him like that."

"If you're done," Peter says harshly. "Out, all of you."

"You sound like madam Pomfrey," James chuckles. "I mean it, you said that exactly like she does."

"I get her now. Merlin, they're nosy. Menaces, all of them," he sits down next to him. "What are you feeling? Tell us everything."

"My head hurts, my whole body hurts, my fucking joints feel on fire."

"Anything else?"

Lily is taking notes. That's serious, she never takes notes, not even in history of magic when they were at school. "My whole head is clogged up, feels like cement, my eyes are burning, my throat is sore, I think I have cold sores all over my mouth and all I want to do is go back to sleep."

"Can I see your mouth?" He opens it and puts his tongue out. "Looks like your immune system quit or went on vacation, Prongs, that's probably why you're feeling so bad."

"Where's Reg?"

"He's coming, can we cast some diagnostic spells?"

"I thought you had already done it."

"Didn't have the time, we were running with the medicine and the paperwork to be able to bring this all here without you having a fit when you started feeling better."

"Oh Pete, you know me so wehh heh'tishh hah'tSHH sdrrrk well," he sneezes at the hand towel again. "I'm glad you do."

"I'm glad you're not delirious anymore."

"So am I, really," he sighs. "But I'm still feeling awful."

Reg enters the room with a cup of tea and some crackers. "No pressure at all," he starts, "but can you try to sit up and eat something?"

He doesn't answer, he doesn't think he can.

"It's alright, don't worry."

"I'm sorry, Reg, I know I should, but moving my head is making me dizzy."

"Don't worry, we'll figure something out. We just need you to be comfortable now."

"I'll try my best."

"I'm going to cast the spells now, alright?" He nods and closes his eyes as Lily moves her wand and casts some spells James has never heard before. "Alright, this is a bad case of the flu, your lungs aren't great, so that's probably where this high fever is coming from, we could give you an antiviral treatment, but it'd be hard on your body; or we could wait it out while controlling your fever and keeping you hydrated. As your doctor, I would tell you to take the medicine, but as your friend..."

"As my friend what?"

"We gave you a potion so you're not contagious anymore, I talked to madam Pomfrey and with your mom, but they couldn't find anything that could cure you or even keep your fever down, muggle medicine tends to be better at that."

"And...?"

"I'm not trying to say you are weak, James, I promise you."

"But...?"

Regulus sighs. "Your body is weird when it comes to medicine, as you know, we never know how it'll react, do you remember the penicillin incident?"

"When I almost died? I do."

"We have all the means to make you as comfortable as possible, Lily bought intravenous medication that I can administer, Peter said he'll take some time off to stay with us, Sirius and Remus will probably want to stay as well..." He caresses James' hand. "I think it's safer if we treat you like this, I don't want to see you almost dying again, the antiviral wouldn't help that much, we don't think it's worth the risk."

"Alright."

"If you want to take it, it's alright."

"I'd rather not, better stick to the medicine I know won't kill me."

"Now try to rest for a bit, I think you might be able to sleep better now that you only have a low-grade fever."

Peter and Lily leave, but Regulus stays with him. "Are you sure you're alright? You can take the medicine if you feel you need to."

"I'm as alright as I can be and I trust you, whatever you think it's best for me, I'll do it."

"I'm sorry I got you sick."

"Don't blame yourself, you heard Peter, my immune system is on vacation. I don't know why, though."

"We don't know either, but we'll find out. As soon as you're feeling better, we can't examine it much further while you're ill."

"See? Don't blame yourself for it, it could've happened with any other virus or bacteria, at least you know this one."

Regulus' breath hitches, but someone knocks at the door and he gets up quickly, wiping his eyes with fists. "Isn't your back hurting? Do you want to use the bathroom?"

"I'm fine, Reg, tell them to come in."

He opens the door and his parents rush to his bed. Normally, they would never ignore Regulus, but apparently the news had been spread, they know.

"Oh, Jimmy, Regulus called us, but he said you ask us not to come. You shouldn't have said that, we worry about you."

"What if I had gotten you sick? I'm young, dad, you're not. Not anymore."

He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter, you'll always be our priority."

"Thank you for respecting my wishes."

"We would never disrespect you, honey," his mom says while caressing his hair. "It doesn't matter how painful it it, we'll never disrespect you. But you scared us so much, Jimmy, please don't do that again."

"Lily said you helped."

"Maybe with selfish intents, I know there aren't potions to heal you the way muggle medicine does, but there is one that makes you not contagious anymore, and I needed to see you, honey. We needed to see you."

"I'm alright. I feel awful, but I'm alright. I'll make you dinner once I'm better."

"We'll leave you to rest, but please keep us updated."

"I will. Thank you for coming, I love you."

"We love you, son."

James looks at Regulus after they leave. "Thank you for not letting them come."

"I'd never endanger them. If there was any chance of contagion, I wouldn't have let them near you."

"I know, I trust you."

"Rest now, love, you need it."

"Who else is here?"

"Remus and Sirius, I think Lily left, Peter's still here, Barty and Dorcas are here, Marlene and Mary couldn't leave work and will come tomorrow, Pandora and Evan are at the hospital, but they'll be here soon."

"Why so many people?"

"Because you're loved and everyone is worried. I can ask then to leave and they'll come back when you're feeling better."

"It's alright, they can stay if they want."

Sirius and Remus knock at the door and enter the room.

"Hope you two are decent," Sirius says laughing. "Can we come in?"

"Of course, just please don't speak so loudly, my head hurts and I'm itchy."

"Itchy like do you need to sneeze or like you feel when you're overwhelmed with sensory overload?"

"Both, but I meant the sensory overload."

"Oh," Regulus cries. "Why didn't you say something? I can cast silencing spells."

"Didn't cross my mind, things are still a bit weird."

"Weird how?"

He doesn't want to speak anything, it feels like it'd be too tiring.

"How weird, James?"

"heh'tTSHH sdrrk hAH'TISHH AH'ISHH sdrrk"

"Oh, bloody hell, why is he sneezing like that?" Remus asks to no one in particular. "James never sneezes like that."

"Reg," Sirius continues. "Why is James sneezing like that?"

"This is one of the worst cases of the flu I have ever seen and he's full of fever. It's better this way, stifling like he does isn't healthy."

"I know it isn't, but..." Remus sighs and looks at James. "You're feeling awful, aren't you?"

He nods.

"Can you describe the weirdness you're feeling, love?" He shakes his head. "James, I need you to say something so I know you're not delirious like you were before."

He is not delirious, just overwhelmed.

"I know you find speaking hard sometimes, I do. But it's really important."

"Overwhelmed. Name's James Potter."

"Can you tell me something else? What was your favourite subject at school?"

"Transfiguration," he sighs. "Can I stop now?"

"You can, I think we'll let you rest a bit more, call us if something happens, alright? I'll be in the living room."

He closes his eyes, feeling like he has been run over by a train.

.

He wakes up without knowing what day it is, he had slept and woken up too many times and it messed up his perception of time.

He's feeling feverish again, but Reg isn't there. He must be tired, taking care of James like that is draining. James is draining. He wishes he wasn't a burden to his husband.

Maybe he should get up and shower, surely it won't hurt, he must be stinking, nobody will want to come near him.

He manages to take two steps before thinking bad idea. The world starts spinning because of course he wouldn't be able to walk on his own.

He's fucking pathetic.

.

Well, it had been, indeed, a bad idea because, apparently, he had collapsed.

"Darling, why didn't you ask for help?"

He shrugs, he doesn't want to burden Reg any further, he's already done it enough. It is a bit frustrating, really, he is feeling like a piece of shite. Useless, stinky and annoying.

"James, honey, answer me."

His eyes start to water and he shakes his head. Merlin, he's pathetic.

"Oh, James," he says in a soft voice. "Don't cry, honey, please. Don't cry. Why are you crying?"

Regulus sits down and starts caressing his hair when he doesn't answer. "Alright, your fever's back, time to take another medication. Is your brain feeling fuzzy again?" He nods. "Got it, I'll be right back."

He starts crying even more when Regulus leaves. He's utterly and completely useless, he's going to end up killing his boyfr– husband. He's going to end up killing his husband from exhaustion. Regulus will probably collapse and die from fatigue because James is too tiring.

"Oh God," Reg cries. "Hush now, James. Everything is alright, you're alright, nothing bad will happen."

"You don't have to stay."

Regulus tenses. "Do you want me to leave?" He doesn't, but he nods anyway, because Reggie needs a time from him, he needs a time for himself. He doesn't seem happy with the answer, but hurt. He nods back at James. "I'll put the medication and leave you alone."

"You should leave now."

Right, maybe it wasn't the most intelligent move, now not only is he feeling like shite, he is feeling lonely, cold and even more guilty for saying that.

He closes his eyes again, opening them with the sound of the door opening violently.

"What is wrong with you?" Remus asks harshly. "Merlin, James, are you daft? Asking Reg to leave you? Hurting his feelings? Worrying all of us? Jeopardising your recovery? Endangering your life? Just because of what? Do you think you're helping anyone by doing that?"

His breath hitches and he turns to lay on his side, his back is killing him from all that time laying down in the same position.

"Oh, James," his voice softens. "How many times will we have to tell you you're not a burden? Trust me, I know the feeling, but you're self-sabotaging and it's literally going to get you killed." He feels Remus stroking his hair. "You know that Regulus is too respectful. So respectful that he was willing to ask me, evem though I quit being a doctor last year, to put those things back in your veins just because he can't leave you without medication and you don't want him here." He opens his mouth, but Remus continues. "But you do want him here, don't you?"

He nods. "He needs rest."

"He won't be able to rest if he doesn't know you're well," he says with a sad smile. "Close your eyes, I'll explain everything to him."

.

The next time he wakes up, Regulus was laying on his side of the bed, holding James' left arm with his life. There are tubes on his right hand and the crook of his elbow, he's really uncomfortable and he really needs to pee. But he won't be able to leave the bed on his own. Merlin, he still doesn't feel better, he feels feverish and dizzy and tired, his chest is hurting and his nose is still blocked, but running constantly, there is a pool of snot on his pillow.

He's disgusting.

The hand towel he was using to sneeze on isn't in sight, which is another problem, his nose is burning and itching and he really needs to sneeze.

He didn't have time to think before releasing five giant sneezes in his pillow. It's totally ruined. Great. Why is he like that? He's useless, he's disgusting.

"Oh, honey, God bless you," Regulus cooes. He had woken him up, he didn't want to wake him up, but he did. "I'll be right back, don't move."

"You don't have to," he mumbles with his face still buried in the pillow, afraid to worsen everything and make more of a mess. "Reg, you really don't have to, I'm fine."

He doesn't think he sounded convincing, his voice is stuffy and muffled. Regulus leaves anyway.

"Here you go," he says while showing him a box of tissues. "Now lift your head so I can clean you up."

He shakes his head, he's not a baby. Not even toddlers need to be cleaned up, he shouldn't need to either.

"James, lift your head, we'll get you cleaned up and I'll scourgify our bed."

He really doesn't want to, but he'll always do anything Regulus asks him to.

"I can't."

And because James is the luckiest person alive and found the most perfect person alive to marry, Regulus helps him get up.

"Do you need to use the toilet?"

"I'd like to, and then take a shower."

"We'll compromise on a bath, what do you think?"

He shrugs, trying to leave the bed on his own. It's still a bad idea, though, he isn't strong enough for it, which is frustrating. He just wants to feel alright again.

"Come on," Regulus takes his hand. "I'll help you."

"You don't hahh HAH'TSHH HEH'SHGGD HAH'ISSHEW sndrkk sorry."

"Don't apologise for sneezing, James, you're sick, you have the one of the worst cases of flu that I've ever seen. People sneeze when they have the flu."

"But I'll get you sick."

"You won't, remember? Your mom gave you a potion that stopped you from being contagious."

"They came? You promised me you wouldn't let them come."

"Don't you remember? What's the last thing you remember?"

"I don't know, it's all fuzzy. Pete was here, Lily too, they helped me. Moony and Sirius came too, didn't they?"

"They're in the living room."

"What time is it?"

"Half past four, they're asleep now."

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"I'm glad you did, now come on, let's get you cleaned up, a warm bath will do you good."

"Aren't you tired? You need to rest too, Reg."

"I know what I can or can't take, James."

"I told Moony the same thing the other night."

Regulus freezes in place, his face blank. "James, love," he says in a soft and caring way, like he's pitying James. "I should have known better than letting you go with them that night."

"We would have probably fought if you had tried to forbid me from going," he takes off his clothes, his whole body starting to shiver, and gets in the bathtub. "And I wasn't feeling so bad then, truly."

"I just think... I don't know, I should have known you weren't well, I shouldn't have gone to work."

James shakes his head. "Don't blame yourself, how would you know? It sounded like a mild cold."

"I don't know, I just wish I could have done more to help, if I had noticed it sooner, you wouldn't have gotten dehydrated to the point of being delirious."

"You couldn't have known, Reggie, you can't see the future, you didn't even take divination in Hogwarts."

"You're still my husband and I should have paid more attention to you. I'm a bloody doctor, I should have noticed."

"Being my husband doesn't maah snff make you able toh heh heh'tshhh huh'ishhh HEH'ISHH snff Merlin," he sniffles and sighs. "Bei'g mby husba'd sdrrrk hih'tshh snffff doesn't make you able to read my mind. It doesn't make you a lehh heh'ISHH snff a legilimens."

"Oh, James, is your nose bothering you?" Regulus seems to be mocking him, is he mocking him? Maybe he doesn't love him anymore, James is a nuisance. A bloody liability. Regulus puts a folded piece of toilet paper over James' nose. "Come on, blow your nose. It'll help you, I promise."

See? James is a liability. A very sick one, he's violently shivering and his nose is running, maybe that's why Reg asked him to blow it, he's disgusting.

He does blow his nose, though, because he'll do any and everything Regulus asks him to. Regulus has him at the palm of his hand, really. Oh, he's ridiculously in love with him.

He hears Regulus chuckling. "I'm ridiculously in love with you too."

James blushes. "I didn't say anything, did I?"

"What do you mean? Of course you did, you've just said that," he says in a rush. "James, tell me you remember saying that."

"I remember thinking that."

"Oh, no," he cries. "No, no, no. No. It's fine. You're fine. Deep breaths, slow and deep breaths. We're fine, everything is fine. You're fine. You're fine, aren't you?"

"Reg, you're scaring me." He has to do something, doesn't he? He should know how to help. He does know how to help, but he can't access this bloody part of his brain. He's feeling weird again. His brain is weird.

Reg had told him he felt confused before because he was dehydrated, so maybe he should drink water.

"James, what are you doing?!" He hears Regulus screaming and stops, freezing in place, his hands cupped, trying to take the water to his mouth.

"You're going to have a panic attack. I'm feeling woozy. So I'm drinking water so I can help you."

Regulus shakes his head, his eyes wide and unfocused. "I'll get you some water, alright? Don't drink your bath's water."

He doesn't really know how to answer. He needs to feel alright quickly so he can help Reg. He has to help Reg.

"Here you go, love, do you need help?"

"'m alright," he assures him, "you don't have to worry."

"Do you need help, James?"

"I'm alright, really, just give it to me."

"James, love, I can't understand what you're saying."

"What do you mean you can't understand me?"

"Don't move. Don't you fucking dare to do anything but breathe until I'm back here. You can understand me, right? I hope you do. Please don't move."

"You're scared. Don't be scared, I'm alright."

"Don't move, James."

He doesn't.

Regulus leaves the bathroom and doesn't come back for some time, he can't tell how long, but he's feeling colder than before, his whole body shivering and his teeth shattering.

As soon as he comes back, he grabs his wand to do something, then his face shifts from a bit scared to a full panic. No, Reg, there's no need to be afraid, everything is fine.

Strangely, he can't feel his mouth moving, he thinks it didn't.

"This is bad," he whispers to him. "James, love, you're really really sick right now. I need you to get up so we can take you back to bed. I'll dry you with a spell so you don't feel colder than you already are."

He doesn't have the strength to get up and Regulus can't lift him on his own. he'll have to stay there. He's not feeling so bad, is he? "huh'tshh hah'tishh hah'ishh" Alright, something's off. He tries to lift his arm to rub his nose (Merlin, it's itching), but it isn't obeying his brain. And sneezing is so tiring, why is sneezing so tiring?

"Oh, love," Regulus cooes while cleaning his nose for him. That's a bit embarrassing. "You must be feeling awful."

I'm alright.

"I'll ask Sirius for help, alright? They'll help

[septembersghost]

Do you think when they were together-ish(anything from 2012-15) Taylor and harry ever confided their traumas with each other or were completely open with each other about their past? I think harry was judging by the sheer vulnerability in his songs. But do you think taylor ever was? There are hints he knew more(he's gonna say its 'love' you never called it what it was// 'love' was something you never heard enough). She said she got Jake's mail regarding red when she was dating harry. She cried during 'all too well' in 2014 june when she was close to harry. So do you think she ever opened up about jake?

On that note, do you think they ever talked about kanye,john stuff. She went through hell because of ye and I don't think WCS feelings developed overnight. How do you think all of this affected their relationship? Was harry ever jealous of jake because Taylor loved him?Or did he think he was a d___ for treating her like shit? (We know harry easily gets jealous)

not in an unkind way, but in a general one, i don't think taylor was capable of verbalizing the depth of her trauma until now. she literally had to find safety and healing to begin to express it. they both pour things into their music that they probably only felt able to say there, because that form is confessional and the safe place to explore it. it's not that i don't think she shared anything, of course, but i doubt she had the language at that time to even explain it all, and she was trying so hard to gloss over it, to make it all seem fine, to pack it away, to seem nonchalant (which doesn't work in the long run). and harry wasn't nearly at the place he is now in regards to the philosophical outlook and open approach to therapy. there was a lot of common ground between them at their levels of fame and coming up in the industry, and regarding musicianship, emotional sensitivity, etc, but there were barriers too. i'm sure he knew she'd been deeply heartbroken, idk how far into that she would've been willing to share at that point, though. especially since they got stuck in that on/off cycle, so many factors kept intruding and coming between them, including their own issues at that point. knowing someone was hurt and didn't feel loved is a little different from knowing how profoundly broken they felt as a human being. doubtless harry thought jake was terrible for that, but it's hard to say how far into the pain and belittlement she would've gone. or taking the john issue, what's shattering there is she believed she'd escaped it (i took your matches before fire could catch me), and now she realizes she didn't and it's had a lasting effect. and then with k*nye at that point in time, she was striving to make peace and be friends with him. i saw a quote from...2015 earlier today, let me see if i can find it again. "we actually, i guess, could be called friends now! i honestly think i needed to continue to prove myself in my career and i think it finally got to a place where he realized he respected what i do as a musician." she just so badly wanted his approval and wanted to make things okay that i don't think she'd have said anything negative about him at the time, which is...very upsetting considering how that ultimately went (and the type of person he has proven himself to be in general).

this is really sad and telling of her mindset at that time too, she didn't really think she was allowed or deserved love: "Yeah, I do feel jaded about relationships, to be honest. I think the media has sent me a really unfair message over the past couple of years, which is that I'm not allowed to date for excitement, or fun, or new experiences or learning lessons. I'm only allowed to date if it's for a lasting, multiple-year relationship. Otherwise I'm a, quote, 'serial dater'. Or, quote, 'boy crazy'. The narrative has been so wrong, every time it was the same. It's 'Taylor spotted talking to this guy, she's chasing him.' They create a beginning to the story that didn't happen most of the time, so then they have to create an ending. So they always go to the same fabricated ending that every other tabloid has used in my story, which is, 'She got too clingy', or 'Taylor has too many emotions, she scared him away'. Which has honestly never been the reason for any of my break-ups. You know what has been the reason? The media. You take something very fragile, like trying to get to know someone, and it feels like walking out into the middle of a gladiator arena with someone you've just met. And all of a sudden the public and the media are allowed to say thumbs up or thumbs down. So I just don't try it any more."

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 9

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Worked on the previously mentioned tapestry style painting thing for like 5-6 hours today (with a few breaks in between), and that's just for the border around the main picture lol.. I think all the little sections and detail always take longer than I think they might. But hopefully the final product will look interesting! :0

I feel like I'm entering another Sick Phase where I just am weird/ill/sleepy/having joint pains much of the day (probably some vitamin deficiencies or hormone imbalances or general bodily inflammation or whatever nonsense seems to randomly pop up from time to time lol), so couldn't focus on anything more intensive like writing or editing videos, unfortunately. It's good to have smaller crafts I can do that don't take much mental effort and are just menial hand tasks (like carving, painting, sculpting, etc.), but I still always feel frustrated falling behind on the things I see as much more broadly significant to my overall life and potential career (making games, writing, finishing videos, socializing, costumes, etc.)

Organized my desk a little. Responded to some doctor emails. Paid bills.

Planned out something I might make with pressed flowers tomorrow.

Edited like 4 costume photos.

Also have a lingering sense of dread due to the weather. The heat often makes me feel terrible, and if I'm already in kind of a Bad Phase at the moment, I'm afraid of it making it even worse... stimky..

Which I know these temperatures are nothing to some people but.. to me... aUGHHHH... I am abnormally heat sensitive + live in a dinky old apartment with no ventilation that gets direct sun the hottest part of the day.. on a 90F day outside, it literally gets about 84F inside.. like.. even people who love the heat I feel like would struggle to sleep at night if their bed is 85F lol... hewwo.. You can spray yourself down with water, drink ice water, put a fan on yourself, etc. etc. but.. sometimes it just feels so oppressive and inescapable..

ANYWAY. Aside from painting, feeling weird, and dreading the upcoming heat/contemplating my entire life and how to get enough money to move to a different climate somehow one day/existential exhaustion/etc., I didn't accomplish very much lol

Spent maybe 30 minutes thinking about a little more worldbuilding stuff, and some things in reference to the game I mentioned resuming work on at some point.

Notable sights: The clouds were really pretty and pastel this afternoon, and some stars are visible in the sky for once since the nights are beginning to be clearer. The 'forget me not' flowers that I thought had died after transplanting actually seemed to be perked up and healthy looking today, and perhaps may actually survive. >:3

Goals moving forward: Do new poll adventure post. focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with the ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Not much, kind of a warm day so didn't really want to use the oven. No idea how I'll handle the diet I've been put on by my doctors (involves usually cooking all food fresh, using the stove a lot, nothing is supposed to be canned or processed or premade, so that eliminates a lot of 'quick easy simple warm weather' meals, etc. etc.) during the heatwave. I might just have to break the diet a little and hope it doesn't give me stomach pains while I'm already hot and feeling sick lol..

I did have a boiled egg with some green onions on top, which is very simple but was refreshing somehow lol. Another ice cold ginger ale treat today, and some cold prune juice (which I know most people find gross/it's an old person food/etc., but I like that it's a smooth textured and not very sweet juice? Like it's slightly thicker than apple juice, has a lightly bitter taste, etc. I just find it nice for some reason. More evidence I am secretly an 85 year old wizard)

[arminsumi]

OFFICE PLAYTIME

↳ NANAMI ななみ + fem!reader

"...I think you deserve a raise..."

1.3k

Summary : Nanami and his secretary... doing "work" in his office.

Warnings : 🔞 minors do not interact/read : smut/explicit content : daddy kink, unprotected sex, public setting (office sex), secretary x boss trope, namecalling (wh*re, sl*ut, +++), taboo fantasy (sexual relationship with your boss), creampie, m*sturbation (reader), sex on desk, blowjob, mean dom Nanami + soft sweetheart Nanami, praise, dirty talk, light humiliation, horny!reader, implied breeding kink, referring to c*m as "baby batter"

Note : this came from the heart 👍 i love boss nanami. and he's my true daddy (the rest r fake!!!!!) even if i don't write much for him. reqs open. bring me nanami thank u!

"Daddy... I n-need you..."

Nanami raises his brows, looking down at you pawing his clothed bulge while he's sat in his office doing paperwork. His throat constricts as his length starts hardening under your touch.

"Hm, what? What does my angel need?"

You squeeze the outline of his shaft and nearly moan.

"I need you to fuck me..."

"... well aren't you vulgar?" he stifles a laugh. "Alright. Work for it."

"But I need it so bad!"

"Work for it."

"Please, I'm so wet, j-just stuff your cock in me..."

He finally lets out a laugh, and firmly grabs your hand to stop your movements. "You're being such a slut today. Is it because I fucked you raw this morning? Hm? Is that it? I know it is. You're just a cock hungry slut. Is that right? You just want your boss to fuck you instead of putting that brain to work."

"Daddy's s-so mean..." you sigh erotically. Your bedroom eyes make his tip twitch. He practices self-discipline and refrains from shoving his dick down your throat right then.

He lifts your chin, making you look at him. "But you're the one with a kink for it, aren't you? You begged for me to be meaner. So now I will be. And that wasn't a suggestion... that was a command... work for it, slut."

Nanami looks at you coldly while you rip off his belt eagerly and thumb over his leaky cockhead. He's a silent man. So eliciting a groan or erotic noise from him means you're really doing something good... or maybe he's just sensitive. Or both.

"Such a pretty face... and a slutty mouth." he husks as you lower your lips down his cockhead, swirling your tongue around and around and relishing in the feeling of his meaty cock.

"Daddy..." you try to speak om his cock, and he groans at the vibration of your voice. That nickname drives him insane. He's not been much of a kinky man, but calling him daddy? He insisted you do it from day one. It's his weakness but he won't admit it.

He stoically observes you sucking his cock. "How's that pretty hole feeling? Eager to get stuffed I bet."

You nod and sputter "mhm!", your saliva and spit sloppily dripping down his cock. He admires the sight of your mouth being wide open and filled to the brim with his cock, what's a better way to spend boring office hours than with his secretary on his knees like this?

His big manly hand goes to the back of your head and helps you work up and down on his length, making you take more than you can handle while you whorishly smile.

"Damn slut... imagine if your coworkers knew you called your boss "daddy". Do you think they'd still respect you if they knew you were a fucking whore for me? Bet you'd love for them to walk in on you while you get your throat stuffed like this... f-fuck..."

He broke his stoic expression for a moment when he felt a particularly good pang of pleasure shoot through his cock. Nanami usually has lots of stamina, but when when he's using your throat in his office... well the naughty circumstance makes him bust quickly.

You feel him pulse as he creampies your throat, holding you down on it to make sure not a drop of his precious baby batter is wasted.

"Fuuuck... that's a good little slut..."

You frantically dip your finger into your hole and massage it. It's so sensitive even teasing feels too good.

"Don't play with that pussy without daddy's permission." Nanami seethes.

He forces you to stand up and folds you over his desk roughly, carelessly. A stapler and pen box crashes to the carpeted floor and some coworkers turn their heads, but then return back to focusing in their cubicle.

"Sh-shit... you're this wet for me...? Nasty whore. I'll fuck you good. You better be quiet or you're fired, understood?" he threatens half-heartedly while rubbing his cock sideways on your pussy, slapping and rubbing it through your slit a few times.

And you swallow an erotic squeal as he plunges his meaty cock into your eager pussy. Just the sensation of his length gliding past your folds sent a shockwave of pleasure through your body.

"Da—ddyyy! Fuck! You're so fucking big!" you exclaim.

"Sh-shit... not so loud, not so loud... ghnnnn..." he stifles a grunt and starts pounding into your clingy pussy.

A sloppy slapping sound echoes off his office walls, but he can't slow down or go easier on you; it feels way too good. And you're being too slutty for him to think straight. So what if people hear him fucking his secretary? He doesn't care what anyone thinks when he's balls deep in your hole.

"Fuck that's it... that's it... just let yourself feel me. Feel daddy split you open... oh, god that slutty little hole is gripping me so good today..."

He grits his teeth and holds in his groans. A few grunts slip past his lips, it sounds like they come from deep within his chest.

"I'm gonna cu—mmmmf!"

"Then cum and shut the fuck up. Don't need to announce it to the whole office, do you? Or does thought that make you wanna cum even more?"

His words bring you over the edge. He gulps at the sight, because truly it's so beautiful to see your body freak out while orgasming.

"Fuck... oh you're such a good secretary for daddy; I think you deserve a raise." he groans, pressing a heated kiss to your lips.

Your face is so purely erotic. He's entranced by the way your pussy contracts and squeezes tightly, nearly clamping down on his dick.

"That's it... fuck! Ahhh, milk daddy's dick. Milk me with that slutty hole. Take my creampie."

Just as he cums, you cum too, rubbing sluttily on your clit; it totally breaks him to feel your sweet pussy convulsing around his slick shaft. You feel him pumping cum deep into your hole, his cockhead throbbing scaldingly hot as he snuggles it against a sweet spot.

"Ooh... good girl... good fuckin' g-girl..." he slides out, admiring the sheen on your pussy and the cum streaking his cock.

He soothes your shaking body with his big hands, placing a tender kiss on you.

"You're so cute when you're a horny slut." he gives a light smack to your thigh.

You giggle and let out a small noise as his cock slides out with a pop. There's a string of thick cum connecting from his cockhead to your slit, it drips slowly and melts against your hole.

Nanami's frown is so funny, but he's serious about not wasting his baby batter. He fingers it into you slowly.

"Tighten up. Don't wanna see another drop spill out." he commands. "You did say you wanted daddy's babies this morning, didn't you?"

You nod. "Yeah~"

"Good girl. Now get back to work."

Nanami helps you clean up and compose yourself before shoving you out of his office with a playfulness.

He's trying to focus on his papers, but ohm.. your juices soaked them. And now he's thinking about how you're sitting at your secretary desk with his creampie oozing out of your loosened hole.

"Fuck..." he mutters under his breath.

He texts you a short message;

📨 1 NEW FROM : KENTO NANAMI

Check your balance. Use it to buy a pretty outfit. I'm pampering you tonight, so rest up. ❤️ — Daddy

[onmymasa22]

Do a silk painting without gutta

Thats u, and this is me.

And everything is exactly how it needs to be.

Whatever is going on with u, is going on with u. Im in a world where i want to watch crossing delancy

I find that the body sometimes holds onto dates. I dont know if its scientifically proven. For me it comes from an episode of greys anatomy. A woman has a heart issue on the same day every year, and they find out that that date years ago, her forst love died and since she has suffered from a "broken heart". If your body is shaking today. If you have anxiety that you are trying to keep from being debilitating. If you woke up just wanting to go back to sleep. If breathing exercises aren't doing enough. If things need to get put off from today because you are just trying to keep it together. You are not alone.

Throw up into a diary how you feel

Let yourself cry.

I want a great life

The body holds onto dates. We remember what our body went through a year ago. And while no one is destroying my life this second, a year ago it was, and today my body feels like everything is falling apart, even though it's not. I woke up shaking. I haven't shaken the feeling of wanting to throw up yet and it's 15:35. It feels like the world is falling apart. And today, thats what it feels like. October 7th 2024 feels like my own personal world is falling apart outside of everyone elses and outside out reality. Im happy that i have my stuff figured out. Im waiting to see the contract for living in Jerusalem. Im doing ok. Im paying. Im alright.

U will be ok. Theres no war going on. U can do today. It wont be easy. But the war in your head is not like the war outside. So take a deep breathe. Play guitar today.

Learn ballet. Make mugs and dishes out of clay with your hands. Create art. Learn piano.

I made an instagram page. Its hard not to compaire myself to others. Why dont i get the same opportunities as they do. Why dont people see me. Where is my place. I need to seperate- who inspires me and who makes me feel competitive. Who feed the critic voice in my head, and who feeds the passion voice in my head. In the end, i need to just keep creating. You arent who i want to be. I dont need for u to like me. You arent straight.

I'm so excited to never see you again after my degree. Itll be nice to not need to be around people who are slanted.

Who else is waiting for mani pedis to become

I know when I'm standing across from someone who is slanted. They will live slanted, and they'll die slanted. It has nothing to do with me. I know when im right. I know when im wrong.

I think the reggio emilia approach is the most stupid approach there is for above kindergarten. Its meant for early childhood to age 6. Thats all its for. I think that thats is stupid.

This year i can go in knowing that this isnt for me. I can just play music in my head instead of being in class

What to do instead of listening while the teacher is teaching.

It's been a year that we have felt more connected to being Jewish.

A year that we have shown how brilliant we are. We brought washing machines, dryers, BBQs, generators, and phone chargering stations to the border.

We have given haircuts and shaves out of love.

We have tied tzitzis.

We have helped farmers.

We have fed fish and watered plants for the kindergartens that were evacuated.

We have housed people, we have helped people, we have supported people emotionally and monetarily.

We have given birth to more babies.

We have celebrated marriages.

We have dedicated happiness, joy, dancing, and loving to those we have lost.

We sang zemiros.

We laughed till our stomachs hurt.

We have baked challah, we have sung havdallah as a group.

We have been sensitive to others and what they might be going through.

We have cried from videos of soldiers calling their mothers, and we have hugged people tighter.

We have heard Holocaust survivors remind us that we will get through this.

We saw notes written for religious Jews so they would know that those hostages were rescued that Shabbos in the summer.

We celebrated and could breathe deeply that shabbos.

This year has effected everyone a million different ways. With all the bad, there's also this.

[sleepyivoryrose]

I forgot completely was I wanted to write. I had a little jumpscare right now. Remind me to never, ever put tags in my posts again. People actually finding this blog scares the living shit outta me.

I mean, I'm doing this sort of for mental health purposes. Having a clear line what you wrote, when you wrote it, and why you wrote it, is much easier (and to be fair, feels less like a chore) than keeping a word document or a bullet journal or smt.

I could post everything privately though, now that I think about it...it's at least worth a consideration.

I guess...it's like screaming into an abyss or something. You like hear yourself echo, but there's always the possibilty that someone might greet back? even though everytime it happens, it scares me...

....

Today I ate too much letter soup. I know, it's for kids. I wanted to do myself a f(l)avor and (s)wallow in nostalgia for a while. Just like with everything though, I put a little bit too much. Same with my plants, I don't let them dry out, most of the time I overwater them. I give too much. Too much of a care, too much of a reaction. Maybe it's not enough though. So people would finally take me seriously. So that my own mom stops gaslighting me and the people who are supposed to help me don't believe a word I say. I guess it comes with the schizofrenic and pacifist territory. People suck sometimes.

But there's also a lot of good in the world. People tell me I should stop with the internet, and maybe they're right. I just had the experience that the nicest, most understanding, most lovable people I met, were on the internet.

Not to say that it's all roses and sunshine. Everytime I open twitter, I get a headache (but my longing for good art is stronger.)

I am fully aware that life isn't a walk in the park. I'm very sensitive though, even though online I seem brashen and temperamental and offline I'm kind of stoic, doesn't mean I'm completely either of those things. I hurt easily, and I have my coping mechanisms to protect myself.

----

I already have enough bad vibes as it is. People are instinctively untrusting of me, and my head feels like a black comedy.

I would love to be a more optimistic and fun person, that's why I go so overboeard with the fangirling sometimes. Also, it's fun!

Offline it just doesn't come naturally to me. My grip on myself there is so strong, that I barely talk or show much emotion. One of my caretakers thought I was autistic, and I would love to check it out, but Germanys medical system is on the border of collapse, so it's hard to find medical care for things that aren't, yknow, fatal.

And it's not like I don't get social cues, I think. On the contrary, I am very observant of the people around me. I just don't react much to it, is all.

So I kind of need a way out of this madness, ykno? And that's where this lovely blog comes in. It gives me a place to vent up my inner thoughts and feelings, even if I can't verbalize them spontaneously.

...

Huh, jolly writing about stuff helped me forget my ear pain. Maybe it's stress induced...? - mumble mumble-

Well, anyways. Right now there is still no honking. On the other hand, the soccer game starts in like, 3 mins.

To end this on a good note, my friend came all happy and excited from a convention. I'm so happy for her. She saw a ton of cosplayers, and bought a lot of stuff. I am really glad she had so much fun.

I don't think, with my actual social anxiety and energy levels, that I would survive a convention, even if it sounds really fun.

---

There's a sweet smell in the air...either my roommate just showered (which would be odd, she normally does that in the morning) or the flower bushes three streets away smell into my room. Or are they roses? It's like a floral, sweet smell...! the heavy, hot air of a lingering thunderstorm seems to have carried it here. Nice.

Anyways, on that poetic word I'm gonna end my monologing for today. Or maybe not...who knows.

Deuces!

[frogsandfries]

I'm tiwed and I'm trying to fight with my printer to just......j-j-just print my stuff pleeeeeeaaaaasssssseeeee.

A neighbor hijacked my package with vitamins and colored pencils so I hope they appreciate my expensive vitamins and cat lotion spray stuff. It was an Amazon driver who was supposed to get my stuff to me, so if this package doesn't show up, it's on Amazon. That door clearly said the wrong number.

My face took like two hours to stop being numb, and being a dumbass at times, I tried to eat thin crust pizza. I couldn't really tell if I was chewing it well or if I was drooling, so I gave up for a while. The filling material feels weird, but the actual fillings were done really well. My bite is fine. However, I've got a bit more sensitivity than before, for now.

They had to jab my face like five times because I just kept feeling it. I tried to avoid it, but I kept having to stop him. Funnily, I feel it more in the top, but I was jabbed more in the bottom, I think. I should have cut back on the marijuana, but I didn't think they would need to numb me?? So definitely, when I get my wisdom teeth done, I need to lay off for at least a couple weeks before. The only reason I've been consuming so much is, it's been helping me deal with the stress and anxiety of a high call volume.

Ideally, I can build a habit where I'm chill and relaxed and focused on each call one at a time, and I, ideally, won't need to give myself interventions.............. now if only I could figure out how to use marijuana to train out my depression...........

Oh, and I had something weird happen at the dollar store today. I have like forty bucks left in my checking, but I had to put items back. I just shrugged it off at the moment because the dentist had been a significant amount more than I'd original anticipated and I wasn't going to try even a napkin calculation. Luckily, it was extra stuff, a candy bunny, a couple different types of note/thinking tools, a scrub brush for like, the house. But I completely forgot coffee filters 🤦‍♀️ d'oh!

My "healthy" chewing gum, that I've been looking forward to trying, is supposed to be here tomorrow, along with my coloring book, so I'm going to be super disappointed if my package with my vitamins and colored pencils doesn't show up.

I'm going to check for this package one more time and then I'm going to bed. My ensure was supposed to have been delivered a prior day and showed up the next day and I just thought it was Walmart lying. I did manage to get my cat food but I just cannot fill the bin right now. I can't even think about touch typing.....

[purplesurveys]

1767

Have you had more hot or cold drinks today? More of cold. I will say though(!!!) I've recently...turned a shift towards hot coffee? Like this is not bad at all??? I've been having hot mugs all week long and it may very well grow to become a new habit of mine.

What's a name you like that's similar to yours? There aren't a lot of names that bear a similarity to Robyn per se, but in the sense that it's unisex I am generally a fan of such names – like Stevie, Frankie, Dylan, Billie/Billy...

Where did you get the last plate/bowl you ate with from? I don't know, these were the plates we've had from the day we moved in here. I'm guessing they were bought by my parents at some mall.

How's your mental health today? It is very stable and I can tell you it's because I don't have to think about work until Friday.

What bands and artists did you listen to when you were a teenager? Mainly Paramore, but there was a lot of punk rock in there as well. Rancid, H2O, The Bouncing Souls, Against Me!, The Misfits...I don't listen to them nearly as much anymore but I'll always have a soft spot for each of them and for that phase in my life.

Do your feelings get hurt easily? Yes, I'm quite sensitive.

What sort of restaurant did you last eat at? Well it was a Chili's, so. American and a bit of Mexican in there if I understood their concept correctly lol? Anyway, it was my first time eating there too and tbh I had had a high standard because of its price range, only to not be impressed. Why is it even so expensive there? They serve exactly the same stuff you'd find everywhere else.

Do you have a friend who's always sending you TikTok videos? Do you actually watch them? Kata used to send me TikTok videos until she stopped because I never was on the app, lol. Angela would still send me some occasionally, though.

Have you ever seen a cougar in the wild? Never.

Will you attend a wedding in the next 3 months? Unless I get an invitation from today, no.

Are you good at following instructions? They have to be written/printed out otherwise I'd forget instantly.

What's your backyard or outdoor area like? It's clean and plain, but we don't really do things there. We prefer to entertain guests in the living room or at the rooftop.

Do you like your boss? (or your last boss if you don't currently have one) Bea has always been a fantastic superior and mentor to me from the day I stepped in the workplace, which is why I'm gutted that she's leaving any day now. My personal work morale has been low ever since she announced the news and I still haven't figured out how I'm supposed to manage everything and everyone once she's actually out the door.

When was the last time you took a selfie? Does it count if it's a mirror selfie? I took a few ones at the salon earlier this afternoon when I was getting my hair dyed.

What did you have for breakfast yesterday? Fried rice with egg and ham bits.

What do you do to entertain yourself on a long flight or journey? I would download several YouTube videos in advance so I can watch them while offline.

Where are you right now? I'm at the rooftop but I literally am gonna pack up and go back to my room after this question because holy fuck does my back hurt.

Have you ever done a hearing test? Continued a whole day after. I don't think I have.

Do you hate small talk? Depends on how it goes. I'm pretty good with small talk but you can only do so much if the other person is too shy or is stingy with their responses. If I sense that they're not into conversing then I stop.

What's the hottest temperature your current town/city has ever had? There's no confirmed record for the hottest temperature in my city. I'm gonna guess somewhere between 40-45ºC though as summers can get brutal.

What programs/applications do you currently have open on the device you're using right now? I have Chrome, Spotify, and Notes.

How many steps per day do you do, generally? Hahahaha. I work from home and don't exercise so the average is less than 100 a day, embarrassingly enough. It's a different story when I get the chance to be outside because I do like to catch up on my steps; for days like those I would average anywhere between 8,000 to 10,000.

Have you had any snacks today? Yeah I had a couple bags of my favorite sweet corn chips. It's not as bad as it sounds – the bags are *really* tiny so that's why I had to have two of them lol.

Did you have any exchange students at your high school or university and did you become friends with them? We probably had batches of them come and go in college but I never did recognize them. My university has a huge population and it would've been impossible to know every single student.

What's the next thing you'll tick off your to-do list? It's a holiday tomorrow but I need to do a bit of work here and there just so I'm not completely stacked by Friday.

Have you ever had a chia pet? No.

What's your favourite sandwich filling? Pulled pork.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? Nopes.

What was the last reason you saw a doctor? Dog bite.

Do you use light mode or dark mode on your phone? It's been on dark mode for as long as I've had it.

[arcanemoody]

It's 4:30pm.

I'm in Chicago.

I'm drinking blue sports drink from my Stranger Things customized steel water bottle.

Had a day off today -- originally to attend the Library Leaders Forum put on by the Internet Archive (way back in August when I registered). In a fun coincidence, today was also the day I was supposed to pick up the car from the mechanic's. That has been delayed once more, so we are going to have several more days with our rental car.

I poured the rest of my day into professional development modules -- one on Gender Identity, one on Identity and Race in the Classroom. That's about three more hours on my PDR. I also went ahead and registered for a couple upcoming webinars and I signed up for an account with AFT's Share My Lesson portal.

I ran some errands in the afternoon -- scanned some sticker pages at the office supply store. Got some jewelry pliers and nail polish at Dollar Tree. Got a little milk crate for the car and some E6000 from Wally World. My last stop was at the charity shop, where I found a comfy skirt, a Halloween costume for Washington, and two Black Butler mangas from the late aughts. Not a bad haul.

Got some home-related stuff done: took Washington for a walk. We had a bunch of sliced tomatoes that I needed to cook, so I started a batch of drunken noodles for Rocket and me. she's been working at home all day.

Symptoms check-in: mild to minimal fatigue today. I think it's the weather. No sound sensitivity. Mild constriction, no overheating, LOTS of random itches I chewed off 90 percent of my nail polish and repainted the rest twice. Minimal dysphoria.

Things I feel positive about: going to the Welcome to Night Vale live show at the Vic last night. The zine I have a rough outline for. The notes I took during the Library Leaders Forum. The spicy broth I had to throw together for the drunken noodles when I accidentally let the first batch reduce too quickly. Got a PSL this morning.