#i think i'm feeling more sensitive to the stuff in my notes today

[traumasurvivors]

What I'm actually stressed about and want to vent about is a personal thing in my life, so feel free to scroll on. But I just want to scream about this and how unfair it is, and have some validation that it is unfair.

I haven't been able to work for months because there isn't work for me. And my husband and I are struggling financially.

Well, on months he doesn't hit a certain "survey" goal at his work, his commission pay gets cut "in half." And while he gets some salary, we really rely on his commission pay to make ends meet right now.

This happened last month, and it really stressed me out because we are struggling so much at the moment. This happens sometimes, but like once in a very rare while. Then I found out that they changed the survey percentage he has to hit to move it up by 15%. And he's informed me that he often doesn't hit the new number.

How it works is anything below an 8 out of 10 is a fail, and he gets a zero for that survey. And he needs a monthly average of 80%. It used to be 65% which felt a lot more fair considering anything below 8 was considered a 0 when the math was done.

But what is extra not fair is the question he loses points on the most is 'would you recommend this place to anyone else' and people often put 'no.' And they even tell him that he was wonderful, but it's about something not related to him. And he gets punished for this. No one in the other jobs at his work deals with this, even if they're the person the customer was really upset at.

What extra sucks is he gets a lot of "well, you were great but like nothing is perfect so I can't give you a high number. I want the company to feel like there's always room for improvement."

I am tired. Even when he makes his full pay, we can't pay for everything we need to. And being shorted by this really threw me this month.

It's why I'm so on edge and stressed. And I am so frustrated and just want to blast his business but that would hurt him as well.

I just think it's so beyond fucked up that they can do that.

[moonrisecoeur]

compliance (how to brainwash your boyfriend) — leon kennedy

author’s note: this was written with re4r!leon in mind bc that’s my boyfriend! angel said so!! i have… so many hypno ideas, some considerably more palatable and some that are Much Worse, so pls let me know if you want more! also this is based off of an audio i listened to once by everdistant-utopia on reddit! the headset concept is kind of (extremely) goofy but i was into it idk. again, i'm aware that mind control isn't real and this is a silly ass concept. i had fun doing it anyway. no leons were hurt in the making of this fic. sorry for not posting it sooner even tho it was done i was extremely embarrassed lol. pls ignore any typos. love you!! thank u!!

wc: 5k

content: sub!leon x fem!reader, afab reader, oral reader receiving, orgasm control, mention of feet for like two seconds

warning: this is dark content. please do not read if the following topics are sensitive to you: noncon, hypnosis, mind control. i dont endorse or encourage this type of behavior irl, its just a fantasy!

—

as you walk down the street, you walk by a flier that’s sitting on the sidewalk. you don’t stop to read it, but one word caught your eye. mind control. it was probably something stupid, something completely made up by some lunatic who thinks mind control is real. mind control is maybe, technically real, in the ‘just relax and close your eyes, breathe deeply and let yourself be at peace’ kind of way. definitely not the ‘put on this headset and let me rewire your brain to make you my pet’ kind of way.

but… would it really hurt to look at the flier? you turn around to see it’s still there, and, against all your better judgment, you decide to walk up to it and pick it up.

it’s dirty, wet because of the rain from last night. even still, you can read the description of the advertised product clearly, along with some more info like a website and contact info for the designers. you take a brief moment to wonder who in the hell comes up with that stuff.

introducing you to the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! perfect for all of your mind control needs! simply place the device over the subjected head and choose what you’d like to do with them. need an obedient housewife? in search of a new pet? want them to be madly in love and obsessed with you? all of that and more is possible with the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! visit our website and order the headset today!

you blink. this is insane. who would do this? who would make this? why would anyone want to make someone do any of this against their will? you feel sick to your stomach as you crumple up the flier and toss it in the nearest trash can.

because that’s… that’s not consensual. that’s wrong in every possible way. unless they gave consent to be, what, turned into an ‘obedient housewife’? that’s really what it said? there’s just no way that’s right. how is that legal to sell? what even was that flier doing?

this feels like the kind of thing that would be sold on the black market, not openly advertised to people on the street. what if some lunatic saw it and just started brainwashing people? no one could stop them, it’s not exactly a crime in and of itself, and any crimes committed would be a little difficult to report if the ‘subject’ was too mindless to notice or to say anything.

whatever. you threw the flier away, you did your job as a good samaritan by tossing it so someone much much worse than you wouldn’t get a chance to look at it, and thus, you can forget all about the headset. pretend you never saw the flier or knew it existed and carry on with your life.

except, you can’t really. it permeates your thoughts, seeps inside of your subconscious until you begin to hypothesize that the headset wasn’t the real hypnosis, it was seeing that flier. you know you must be delusional. it’s not real, you’re not really mind controlled from just reading the flier, but… would it really hurt it buy it? you had the money for it and it’s not too expensive at all.

you hate yourself for it but you look on the website, just as hypnotic as the flier was, and you see multiple variations of the headset. some more suited towards different outcomes for ‘subjects’ and some just different stylistically.

you find the one you were looking at earlier. the ultra brainwasher 3000. it’s a stupid name, you’re aware. it just doesn’t really matter because who’s gonna know that you own this? you’ll keep it, maybe try it out on yourself to see what it’s like. you won’t do anything crazy, maybe like, hypnotize yourself to not be able to sit down until all your household chores are done, just for the day. the ultra brainwasher 3000 claims to have this functionality, and you’re… more or less, curious.

you order it and spend two weeks in absolute hell, making sure your boyfriend is never home alone when the package could arrive. you’re not worried he’d open it and see the device. he doesn’t look through your stuff, but the packing sticker ‘brainmelting industrial company’ would…. catch his eye for sure. try explaining that to your boyfriend, especially because even if you’re a good liar, you’re not to leon.

but, you get it, and it’s perfect because leon isn’t home right now, and you get to play with your new toy for a little bit. the box is smaller than you expected, only including the headset, a charging cord, and a set of instructions.

as you’re reading, the thought only just now hits you. it’s surprising that it’s taken you this long to have this idea, given how it would be someone else’s first instinct.

“should i…” you murmur to yourself, looking around nervously to see if anyone is in earshot, “… should i use this on leon..?”

i don’t know, should you use a mind control headset on your poor boyfriend that was just sent on a mission to save the fucking president’s daughter? maybe not.

you don’t know how it took you this long to come up with the concept. i mean, the flier did mention making someone your obedient housewife, but… they never said that someone had to be a girl…

it’s gross or actually more disgusting, honestly, how excited you get at the prospect of doing this to leon, but you decide that yeah, fuck it, you might as well brainwash your boyfriend. truthfully, what are the consequences? besides… ruining your relationship, betraying his trust, destroying him as a person… eh, it’s only temporary, right? there’s ways to make it only temporary.. and there’s no way he’d remember..

you fiddle with it, curious of all the different things you could do to him. the headset didn’t have presets, you could make up literally anything you wanted him to believe. you could make him the obedient housewife, but you could also make him a servant, maybe even dress him up all pretty as a maid. you could make sure of his loyalty and commitment, make him be so in love with you that even the thought of being with another woman makes him physically ill.

he gets home later that night, worn down and tired and exhausted in every possible way. and you know you’re going to have to put on your best acting skills. you’re not sure if you’re ready to do this, but you’re gonna have to be, so you press a sweet kiss to his lips, one he lingers on for just a moment too long. his lips chase after yours as his eyes open back up slowly, looking at you through his pretty lashes, an eyebrow raised, “what?”

you can’t help but adore him, his bluntness and gruff attitude, yet how soft he touches your waist as he pulls you closer. leon is nothing if not gentle and sweet, and you love that about him, “nothing, i just… i just wanted to look at you,” you say, and it reminds you just how easy leon is. just a couple of words and his eyes get a little glassy, his heart leaping out of his chest just a bit.

it sometimes helps that your boyfriend has been through every form of hell since that day in raccoon city, so sometimes just sweet words and little gestures get a bigger reaction than you’d expect. he’s traumatized and broken down, so the love you give him matters so much more.

in short, he’s easy. he gives in quickly and doesn’t like to fight, not with you. gives you everything you want, doesn’t protest, doesn’t ask for much besides your attention and love.

“you always stare at me,” he says awkwardly. god he’s so not charming that it makes him effortlessly likable.

that’s what’s so sucky about the idea of hypnosis. do you lose the person he used to be? sure, a mindless househusband would be great, helplessly obedient and passive and hardworking, but does this override his actual personality? that’s a bit too scary.

you make an effort to soak in these parts of his personality, enjoying every inch of his pretty little mind. you decide that no matter what you do to him, you can’t ruin him completely. you’d miss his heart, rough and guarded but nonetheless yours.

“i wanna try something,” you murmur to him, your heart pounding a little more than it should, “do you trust me?”

“of course i do,” he says. your heart almost aches, he trusts you so implicitly.

“close your eyes,” you say, and he complies easily.

you step away to grab the headset, and he’s so sweet and good that he doesn’t even peek. you take a deep breath, and commit to it.

you place it on his head, and he grumbles, but doesn’t object. poor thing. doesn’t even realize what’s happening to him.

—

the setting on the headset that you chose wasn’t anything flashy but it was labeled ‘semi-permanent’ and it stated that the subject would not remember anything from the moment of hypnosis to the moment they wake up next. so, all and all, even if you felt horrible, the damage wouldn’t be permanent, and leon wouldn’t even remember what happened.

truthfully, it felt like nothing could go wrong. it wouldn’t alter him too much, just… make him helplessly obedient for a couple hours. you could turn up the intensity if you wanted to, if it wasn’t quite enough to satisfy your curiosity.

you decide that it’s now or never, especially since being lost in your head while your boyfriend is cluelessly wearing what looks like a vr headset is kind of… odd.

you start the application, waiting for it to begin on his end.

“what are you up to?” he asks innocently, probably still not seeing anything while it loads. the question sounds like an accusation, but it’s really not. leon genuinely just wants to know what’s going on. it’s hard not to, but you don’t answer.

you notice the exact moment that it starts because grunts out of nowhere and his whole body tenses, and he clutches onto the fabric of the couch cushions, using that sense as a way to ground himself during an overload of audio and visual stimulation.

you reach to grab his hand, and his grasps yours tightly, desperately, as if physically pleading with you to make it stop.

you whisper to him, “shhh, nice and easy,” you’re not even sure if he can hear you, but you still feel the need to speak. you’re not sure if it’s your voice or your touch but he relaxes just slightly, his breath raggedy and tense. he’s trying like hell to keep himself together, but it’s so overwhelming that it’s hard for him to think, “hey… it’s okay. you’re okay, just… let it happen.”

a pathetic little whimper escapes his throat as his body goes slack, jaw hanging open and arms hanging limply by his sides, “wha… why?” his voice sounds small, weak, and if you weren’t so cruel, you’d immediately take it all back and apologize and just face the consequences.

but you’re too far deep to back out now, even if leon’s pitiful demeanor is almost swaying you to stop, you know you can’t. not now.

“i… i thought you…” he whines, body tensing and spasming as he tries to put some form of coherent thought together, “wha… why..?” he whimpers again, pathetically broken down in just a matter of minutes.

you sit there with him, holding his hand, waiting for the process to be done, and once it is, you take the headset off.

he seems agitated, but doesn’t seem to know what at. his muscles are tense, but he doesn’t make any sudden movements.

“hey,” you mutter gently, and he almost flinches at the sound, looking at you with those wide deer eyes again, scared. you reach out to touch his face, fingers caressing his cheek.

the cogs in his brain turn as he processes what’s happening, and the agitation seems to evaporate and become replaced by a sense of calm and relaxation. he looks into your eyes, and it seems like he’s deciding something.

“leon?”

“yes? how… can i serve you?” he asks, jaw dropping at his own words. he’s so stunned at what he’s saying and how he’s acting yet he can’t help it.

“…address me as… ma’am,” you say, and he shivers, eyes closing tensely as he tries to figure out what the hell is going on, “and go get me something. how about… a cup of coffee? yeah, let’s start there.”

it makes sense that he’s fading in and out, the programming would probably need more time to settle in before it was done and his personality obviously wouldn’t just disappear, but it was still a little bit heartbreaking to watch him fight the voice in his head that is desperate to obey you.

as he disappears into the kitchen, you sit where he was sitting on the couch to take a moment to think it all over.

leon has never been the most… dominant man. he has his moments of aggression and tension that turn into a roughness that his soul seems to often carry, but it’s never controlling. he’s not demanding, he asks nothing of you besides gracing him with your presence.

but due to his past, submission also doesn’t come easy to him. he likes to think he would lean more sub, just because he’s so malleable to your will, so easy to convince. anything you want is yours, and if you want his dignity laid out in the palm of your hand, then it’s yours to keep for eternity. he just struggles to fully give up control, especially since you know he’s not really had much of that in his life.

you kept his personality intact for the most part, but… he just seems so different. he responds pretty much the same, talks the same, acts the same. something just doesn’t seem right.

“here’s the coffee you asked for,” he mutters when he returns, his voice gruff but soft at the same time. he’s… definitely conflicted. the implanted urge to obey you mindlessly and the natural urge to protect his self-respect are fighting in his head. you watch curiously to see which will win.

leon has been through hell, and you can always see it when you look into his eyes. he’s been controlled by the government, a puppet on their strings, since he survived that night in raccoon city. he must be used to a lack of control in his life. but now he’s your puppet, and you have no interest in using him as a killing machine. you have… different plans for him.

“thanks,” you whisper, and he nods, quiet but obedient. just how you wanted him. he stands there beside you, not really knowing what to do with himself as you take a sip, “rub my feet now.”

“..what?”

“you heard me,” you say. and he did.

something in his stomach sinks at the command, a feeling of urgency to do as you say fills his entire being, but it just feels so wrong to him. you’re never this brazen, this demanding.

“come on, leon,” you say, almost condescendingly, pointing to the floor right in front of the couch, “on… your… knees.”

he breathes shakily, but kneels down in front of you, avoiding eye contact as he gives you your damn foot massage. there’s turmoil in his head, easily seen by that deer-like look in his eyes as he stares wide-eyed at the ground. despite his roughness, he’s always had these soft, fragile eyes, reminding you of who he really is. it would be truly heartbreaking to watch him go through this if it also wasn’t incredibly attractive to put him on his knees and order him around.

leon has always been relatively compliant, but now it’s on a whole other level. anything you ask for, despite some inner conflict, he’ll do. you wonder just how far you could push him, but… you don’t decide to test that just yet.

for a few minutes, or however long it takes for you to finish your coffee, you sit there with him. his touch is good but not very skilled. he gets the tension and soreness out though, and you’re sure you could train that into him over time.

“take off your shirt,” you say, and his throws off his t-shirt easily. it lands in the corner unimportantly, and your smirk radiates confidence and something else much more sinister, “stand up, bend over in front of me.”

he closes his eyes tightly, clearly fighting that inner battle but the part of him desperate to get away and to not obey you is losing. he slowly rises to his feet and does as you ask. he places his hands on the coffee table, legs spread slightly like he already knows what’s about to happen. funny, because he doesn’t seem to know much of anything right now.

you stand up, hands touching all over him but particularly grasping at his ass, pulling down his sweatpants and boxers and enjoying the way his muscles flex, tightening and hardening when you grab him, “you never let me spank you,” you muse, almost annoyed, “i get it. you get nervous with power play and letting me dom you or whatever, but i always wanted to hit it just once. just to satisfy the curiosity of what it would be like.”

your hand pulls back and slams against his butt with a loud smacking noise. he gasps, breathing out shakily after the hit, “i… i’m sorry, ma’am.”

“but now that we’re here… and i’ve already got a taste, i don’t think i ever want to stop. so, from now on, no more of that. if i want to slap your ass, i’m going to,” you murmur, “and you will not try to stop me or convince me not to.”

“i.. i…” he whimpers, and for a second you pause, nervously that the real leon, somehow deep down, heard that, “… yes, ma’am.”

“good,” you mutter, slapping it again, feeling the hit in your hand as you pull away, and if you can feel it so clearly then you’re sure he can, “now, be polite and say ‘thank you’. thank me for teaching you how to correctly behave.”

“tha… thank you, ma’am,” he whispers, eyes shutting slowly as his deep inner need to resist is weakening.

“i own you now,” you groan, grasping at his hips posessively, mouth pressing open kisses to his bare shoulder, “no, i… have always owned you. owned your body, you just didn’t realize it.”

he nods, incredibly turned on. his body aches to be claimed, to be made yours.

sure, leon has always been yours, but his body has been purely his. he’s… cautious with it. he’s been more or less just too busy for romantic partners, but somehow you snuck your way into his life and he happily lets you stay. he just… is slowly learning to trust you with himself.

he can do easy, comfortable, casual sex. what he can’t do is hand himself over to you like this, helplessly obedient, submissive in every possible way. as much as leon doesn’t have the energy to fight, tired and worn down, fighting is all he know.

your nails drag against the skin of his torso and back, leaving pretty red lines wherever they go, “no more fighting. no more stressing about it. all you have to do is be mine, unequivocally.”

“i… i am..” he mumbles, and you tilt your head, eyeing him curiously. he notices, shying away, “i… i am yours. unequivocally. you can… you can have me.”

manhandling has always been a little difficult, considering leon is all muscle and he’s a sturdy guy, but you spin him at the hips to face you, and he’s effortlessly moved, “can i… have your body just as much as i have your heart?”

“yes, i… yes, ma’am, it’s yours. do whatever you want with it, ma’am,” he says, a slight daze in his eyes, clearly he’s not all the way there. he's trying. he’s still so soft, so tender and malleable, so leon.

you lean in to press a kiss to his lips, and he melts into your touch, hands grasping him roughly, in a way that might hurt anyone else, but leon is strong. sure, your touch is bruising him, but… he doesn’t have enough

of his mind left to be bothered.

lips trail down his neck and shoulder, but move back up to his ear, sucking on his skin in a vampiric manner. you whisper to him, “you’re gonna only focus on my pleasure.”

“i… i am? i… i am…” he stutters, god it’s so damn cute.

“of course you are. you’d rather eat me out than have an orgasm yourself, wouldn’t you? if i was a crueler person, i would find a way to mind control your orgasms away completely. that way you could… focus on my pleasure, but i’m not that mean.”

he shudders, your lips pressing to the sensitive spot underneath his ear, teeth dragging down his skin, teasing him, taunting him.

“you wanna eat now?” you ask, lips pressed to his collarbone now, and he moans out an affirmative. you suck a hickey against the skin right atop of the bone, admiring the redness, the way you get to watch it turn a disgusting shade of purple. one that should make you nervous to have done to him, only turns you on.

instead of ordering him into his knees this time, you just push him, easily putting his head between your legs. his hands come up to hold your thighs, steadying himself as you half-stand half-sit on the counter. he pulls your pants down enough , but can’t even be bothered to take off your panties, just pushing them to the side.

“can.. i, ma’am?”

you chuckle, not really expecting him to be so polite, “go for it, sweet thing.”

he leans in, pressing a teasing kiss to your clit, just once, before his tongue meets your folds and he licks and sucks like tomorrow won’t come but he’ll make sure you will. he groans into your pussy like he’s the one being pleasured, and that honestly seems like a fair comparison. sure, he was physically pleasing you, but even just the act of giving oral is making his head spin with a satisfaction he has never felt before. he could get high off of this.

leon has always been good at giving head. much better than just good. he’s incredible. it’s the one thing where he can fully just zone out. if you’re too lost in your own pleasure, then you can’t focus on him and how he’s feeling, and there’s something oddly safe about the feeling of being, for all intents and purposes, alone with his thoughts. eating your pussy just comes so natural that it’s second nature.

but now? he can’t get lost in his thoughts if he doesn’t have any. doesn’t mean he’s enjoying it any less. he’s enjoying anything you ask him to do. you could tell him to go fold your laundry and then clean your bathroom and do your dishes and he’s do everything diligently and he’d be satisfied the whole time. god, maybe you do really want a househusband. besides, leon could use the emotional break from his job. he’s content enough serving you.

he makes you cum sooner than you expected, but it’s literally just because he’s that good with his tongue, and when he moved one his hands from your thigh to press two fingers into your cunt, fingering you in thick circular motions as he sucked on your clit, you were gone.

he continues, wet fingers gushing in a fast rhythm as you orgasm, grinding against his mouth, using him completely for your own pleasure. it was always a secret fantasy of his, and now it’s reality, even if his mind isn’t all the way there and the only thoughts running through his head are is she pleased with me? did i do a good job? do i deserve her praise? i should do better next time. i should serve her better. i only want to serve her.

and now that he’s completely helpless, servitude being the only concept he can comprehend, and you come down from a high so intense it took you a second to remember that leon was waiting patiently for your next command, next order.

“put… put me on the couch…” you gasp out in heavy breaths.

he’s strong, and he helps to guide you to the couch, body still part paralyzed from such an intense pleasure. you lay there, still breathing a little heavy.

“go get dressed and cleaned up…” you mutter to him, “and then come back out here and cuddle up next to me.”

he does as you ask, finding his clothes and getting dressed again, and then when he approaches the couch again, you reach out your arms for him. the smile he gives you is almost too real. too… really leon. you still feel that twinge of nervousness in your gut, but then he lays against you, head tucked into the crook of your neck, and you know he doesn’t know. for all that he’s good at, leon’s not a great actor.

you reach your hand up to run your fingers through his hair repeatedly, soft and soothing motions to lull him into a state of compliance.

“you’re mine,” you whisper, hoping he’ll confirm it back.

of course he does, softly, no longer feeling conflicted, “yours, ma’am.”

“you’ll be obedient and submissive from now on,” your voice is soft but carries a dominance he doesn’t quite think he could ever escape nor would he ever want to.

“i’ll be.. obedient and submissive.”

“you’ll only focus on my pleasure,” you say, knowing he’ll repeat it back obediently just like the ones previous, but you feel his rock hard cock against your leg and as much as you want to shove his cock inside of you in an instant, you can’t help but want to control him like that. keep his orgasms just out of reach until he goes mad from the teasing and edging you plan to do to him. keep him nice and horny and desperate, just how you like him. if he wasn’t submissive enough for you before, he is now.

“only yours, only ever yours, please…” his voice is soft and meek and god if you wanted to you could find a mind control that was permanent and just… leave him like this forever. let him take care of your home and future kids and do your household chores and tasks. keep him completely obedient, god it would be…

“you can’t resist,” you whisper, leaning into his hair,

resting your head against his in a soft intimate moment, “i can’t resist, ma’am.”

you nod gently, and after a moment, you sigh, running your fingers through his hair, “i’m.. i love you, leon. sorry about all of this..”

“… why are you apologizing, ma’am?” he asks, tilting his head slightly even in your grasp to show confusion. he really is just like a little puppy sometimes.

“you know.. about the mind control.”

he shrugs, the most unbothered happy smile on his face, “oh, that’s.. that’s okay, i’m fine with it. i.. already belonged to you.”

“but that was in a more… romantic way. an ‘i belong with you’ kind of way. not the kind i did to you,” you say, just a tinge of guilt holding you back, but you push it aside, “it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. i just.. just know i love you. even when i’m ordering you around.”

“i’ll remember that, ma’am,” he smiles up at you just a little softer, just a little more like his true self, just a little more leon. that heavy feeling of guilt in your gut will never quite go away, will it?

you fall asleep on the couch together, knowing or maybe just hoping you’ll wake up to leon not remembering anything. hopefully he doesn’t piece together that he has no memory of you giving him that hickey and those bruises on his hips were definitely not his job's doing.

—

you wake up to a fond smell of breakfast and a bright morning, sitting up off the couch as you look at your phone. leon’s not laying there next to you, which is odd but not completely uncommon. sometimes he goes out in the morning to work out or disappears in the middle of the night when he’s needed somewhere, but most of the time, and today included, he’s just in the kitchen.

you find him there, standing in front of the coffee pot, and you walk up to him to wrap your arms around his midsection, softly burying your face into his back to shyly hide from his gaze.

“awh, morning lovebug,” his sweet raspy morning voice says to you, a hand on your arms, holding you tight so there’s not even a chance you could let go, “missed ya yesterday. did you sleep alright?”

“...mhm,” you hum, pressing a sweet kiss to his shoulder blade.

it’s a sweet moment, full of love and warmth and tenderness and you could have almost forgotten what you did to leon last night had the smell of coffee not been hanging in the air. but hey, at least he doesn’t remember what really happened, though he’s kind of confused just how he forgot how he got all of these bruises and scratches.

[smolvenger]

Hot for Teacher (Professor! Tom Hiddleston x fem! Reader Oneshot)

Summary: After being private about your relationship, your professor boyfriend, Tom Hiddleston, introduces you to his students.

Word Count: 2K

Warnings: Some thirsty comments and cursing, but no smut. Established relationship and lots of fluffy moments. Grammar and spelling mistakes that slipped past me. Reader not being a student and being an Adult Adult (tm). A big fancy ball because I decided not some hum drum party was gonna do. (I'm the writer, I can do what I want). I rip off YouTube comments and Ana Huang and stuff I see on Tiktok and Instagram.

A/N: For @holdmytesseract's request! I am sorry this took a while due to stuff happening, but here it is!!!

A03//My Ko-Fi//My Etsy Shop//Masterlist//Wattpad

Taglist: @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jennyggggrrr @five-miles-over @fictive-sl0th @ladycamillewrites @villainousshakespeare @holdmytesseract @eleniblue @twhxhck @lokisgoodgirl @lovelysizzlingbluebird @raqnarokr @holymultiplefandomsbatman @michelleleewise @wolfsmom1 @cheekyscamp @mochie85 @fandxmslxt69 @skittslackoffilter @mischief2sarawr

You always visited the campus coffee shop on Mondays at 10 am to overhear students being thirsty for your boyfriend. You couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at their comments. They were leaving their English Literature Survey class. Only they weren’t discussing books.  

“Sooo nice of him to lower the word count for the essay, he knows it’s a lot.”

“Holy crap, did you see how tight his shirt was today? I could practically see his titties.”

“He needs to quote Shakespeare again. I think I’m developing a kink.”

“If I caught my girl in bed with Professor Hiddleston, I’d tuck him in.”

“If I was at the club and Professor Hiddleston was hitting on my girl, I’d start to cry…because he didn’t choose me.”

“I’m a hardcore lesbian, but Professor Hiddleston is on my cheat card.”

“I’m a hardcore asexual, but Professor Hiddleston is so hot that if I had to get pregnant I’d want him to do the honors.”

You sipped up your drink, sitting in a far corner. Smiling bright as you heard them. Stifling a laugh so hard you could feel your drink always threatened to snort out of your nose. You would cup your face, ensuring they didn’t take note of you. Even get out the notes app on your phone to type them down. Not that you’d ever show him. 

He was their hot Professor. But to you, he was just Tom.

Just Tom. A boyfriend who cared for you respected you, and listened to you. Who did the bare minimum and so much more. They didn’t know his flaws, living with each other's smells and body odors and functions and insecurities. And the little, beautiful moments that made you all the more in love with him. How you would both go to bookstores and geek out after certain works, make a mess in the kitchen trying a new recipe, or stay in your pajamas until 1 pm watching something on the TV. Did they know how loud he snored at night? Or how sensitive his neck was? Or that he was fidgety if he sat too long? 

Then one of them said “His girlfriend is one lucky ass bitch. I wonder what she’s like?”

“Oh…he hasn’t said anything about a girlfriend, do you think…he’s single?!” one asked.

They all shot up like meerkats with big smiles.

You froze, only staring quietly at your drink. 

Tom didn’t talk about you in class. Nothing. Nada. Goose eggs.  They didn't know you existed.

So far you were sure they were not little homewreckers- not successfully, at least. You trusted Tom and he trusted you and his students respected his boundaries. But he blocked them on social media so they wouldn’t dig anything about him. Tom was a private person and he wanted that to be respected by his students. 

When you both met to hang out and make dinner later that evening- his special Spaghetti bolognese recipe, he gave you a hug and kiss on your head.

“Oh, you missed a spot!” you teased.

His eyes crinkled beneath his glasses.

“Oh- uh,” he voiced out.

You dived in to kiss him on the lips, his beard scratching your chin.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Oh, just fine. Your students were…wondering about me today. I saw them at the shop.”

“They didn’t recognize you?”

“No- they don’t know what I look like. Or about me, period…we’ve kept it that way…”

Both of you got into the kitchen, rolling up your sleeves and preparing the pasta and sauce. It smelled of garlic, onion, and olive oil, making your stomach rumble. How easily smelling that in a kitchen could solve all of your problems!

He smiled at you. Then, as the pasta was set to boil in the pot, he turned to you. His sleeves rolled up (making you giddy inside) and his face was a little flushed from the heat of the steam from cooking.

“My angel, I don’t want to keep you in hiding- and you shouldn’t.”

“Tom, what do you mean?” you asked. You stirred the sauce, then tapped the spoon and set it on a jar for attempted cleanliness.

 I love you. And this is a part of my life…would you like to meet them? I promise you, they won’t hurt you. I won’t let them!” 

He went up to hug you from behind and you watched the simmering food.

You paused, taking in a breath. What were you afraid of? Were you ashamed of Tom or being with him? No, not a bit.

 You turned around to face him.

“They’re college kids. They’re basically puppies…I think I’d like to meet them.” you agreed

--:::------::------------------->◇<--------------------::------:::---

You both decided what event it should be that you would meet them. There were events called Bookish Balls that were all the rage now. It was a prom for adults. Proms where everyone dressed like fantasy characters and showed off costumes and even cosplays. It was everything from complex armor to a dress with some elf ears on. 

You knew he had a Shakespearean-era outfit from a play he did that he kept you just had to find the right look. It would be more exciting and less creepy then if you jumped on them at the mall like a pair of stalkers. 

And the ball looked like fun.

You and Tom both arrived. He was in his Shakespearean garb and crown. You had your own outfit- you adored it. You couldn’t help but look at each large mirror you walked by as you walked down the dim hallways with carpeted floors.

All the students were talking about it- tickets were 60 percent off for students. Since they were all raving about these hot new fantasy books between their required reading of Dickens. They all rattled their iced coffees like maracas and gossiped and shared pics of their outfits on their phones every day before class according to Tom. Most of them would all be there.

Little did they know their Professor was going to be there, as well as his girlfriend.

You both arrived at the fine, fancy hotel. Tom was dressed in his leather doublet and pants with a large cape and a grand crown. Ever the king. You had splurged on the fancy outfit you wanted badly- and you felt as if you were a heroine in a story as you walked through.

“You look stunning- they’re going to adore you,” Tom assured you.

You hoped so. If they met you and humiliated you in some way tonight or after, you would move to Antarctica and learn to speak penguin. 

Taking his arm and feeling like royalty, you both went down the fine large building. You saw people gathered. There were some stage lights and the large gala room had trees with flowers everywhere as well as thrones, little game booths photo booths, and a banquet. And, of course, a packed dance floor. A live band played. Many people wore crowns and wings and elf ears and were dancing away with zeal. Women twirled their ballgown skirts with smiles so big it lit them up. Many flicked their capes dramatically or wrapped around them like blankets. There were fairy lights and glitter everywhere and there were photo ops and even a costume contest. It was in full sway.

 Including a crowd that included Tom’s students. They jumped up in time to the song, breathlessly singing along to every word.

Tom held out your hand, both of you feeling like the king and queen looking over their jubilant subjects. You both walked down. Hoping your outfit looked as nice on you as you hoped it would.

The song was entering its last chorus. The student's backs were turned and their capes and wings were bouncing as they danced. They hadn’t noticed you yet.

He went to his group of students and cleared his throat. At once they turned their heads.

They looked at him and then you and their jaws dropped.

Tom said.“hello, here is  Y/N, my beautiful, amazing girlfriend.” He then leaned you in and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

All of their eyes bugged out of their skulls and jaws dropped like broken nutcrackers among them.

You were worried the girls in the group would glare at you like they were going to rip out your stomach intestines.

But instead, all of them collapsed into a collective “AAaaaaawwwwwww, hello!” and “What?! WHAT?!” Their eyes flitted toward Tom in tight leather (who wouldn’t?) and you in your presence. 

You went up like in any social situation. You gave them a smile- warm, genuine, polite, and friendly.

“Hi there, it’s nice to meet you- I heard all about you guys!”

You shook their hands. You got to meet them and learn names- Kelly, Hailey, Jessie, Emily, Daniel, Isaiah, Chase, Cameron, Kat, Miranda, Edgar, and so many more your head spun. But you eventually got it with practice.

But they let you dance with them. Be relaxed and have fun. It moved from a band to a playlist of all the classic dance songs. The band blasted Single Ladies and the girls invited you, dragging you in. You tried to copy the moves from the music video, but couldn’t quite and they all burst into laughter anyway.

It then slowed down- it was a ballad, the Cody Fry song about falling in love being like a symphony.

“Well…could I have a dance with my lady?” Tom asked, holding out his hand.

They gasped and looked at you.

“Oh, what a gentleman! I’d be delighted!” you said, accepting his hand.

They let you and Tom have a slow dance- how handsome he looked in the light, beaming at you. They smiled as if they were watching a rom-com at the end. There were no angry glares- at most, some looked a little reflective and sad. But none dared interrupt the moment with you and Tom.

Would they hate you after seeing the affection?

If so, they shut their mouths and minded their beeswax about it.

There were loads of pictures- you were willing to take some (they were seeing you as the surrogate Adult Adult more than their adults) and they included you in some, including some selfies.

Tom excused himself and returned with even brought you a little plate of food. a plate full of little sandwiches, cheeses, and fruits. You both rested your feet and shared some, feeling their eyes on you. For dessert, there were some gooey brownies that melted in your mouth. Tom eagerly grabbed some, his large hands packing as many brownies as he could. 

But you realized his beard had streaks of chocolate brownies on it, you burst into laughter and you heard some giggling from the students too.

“Oh, let me take care of that!” you offered.

You got out a handkerchief and wiped it off of him. You definitely heard “awwwws” in the distance. Looking at it, his beard was now clean.

“There you go! But dashing as always!” you said.

He held your hand and kissed it. The “AWWWWWS” got louder in the back and you both had to suppress your laughter.

Rejoining the students, you saw them less as little judges or would-be homewreckers. You got to talk to them. Maybe you judged them harshly- you remembered being in college when you were that young too. Of course, they grumbled about the coursework sometimes and you gave your own insight. 

“Oh- you’re seriously reading Persuasion? Oh, just wait! Austen takes some time to get used to when you read her stuff- read them slowly and you will catch onto what’s happening! The yearning in that one is beautiful” you encouraged a distraught Hailey. 

You even discussed what fantasy books they were into and got some more recommendations for your ever-growing TBR. And at the end, every last person in the crowd gathered and danced. You and Tom joined the students with big grins and aching feet, but you wouldn’t stop until that last song ended its phrase. No drama. No pettiness. And no hiding. No fear. Just people at a party. Young and happy and alive.

--:::------::------------------->◇<--------------------::------:::---

The other morning, you were back at the coffee shop. Waiting on them. Soon enough, they arrived in their band, though you remained in the corner. 

“I couldn’t believe he had a girlfriend!” Daniel gasped.

“Really?! I’m not! A man that fine can have his pick,” Kelly commented.

They began to all get iced coffees and gather around.

“She is gorgeous- didn’t you see her at that ball!? And she’s super nice!”

“Yeah…I want them to be happy and he seems so happy-”

“Oh, he is cheesing after her- you saw how he smiled?! And how he got the plate for her? Like, he’s a walking green flag!”

‘She’s so lucky!

“Listen, I am glad they’re happy…I just wish it were me…”

They all sighed and agreed,. You waited for that whole vibe of that phrase to blow away.

Then, quietly you walked over.

“Hello everyone,” you said.

They gasped and turned heads.

“YN! YN, hi!” one boy, what was his name- oh yes, Cameron!-said.

“Oh, I just wanted to pop by,” you added.

Then, Emily stood up. She got out a chair from one table and moved it over to where everyone sat .

“Do you have anywhere to be? You can…you can join us! You’re welcome to!”

You smiled at them and took a seat.

[nabateaprodigy]

I'm so sorry if you actually aren't taking requests I am a little confused as English is not my first language I'm still learning as I go

could I request for kokichi and nagito for a s/o that's emotionally sensitive, cries alot and comes off as clingy and really enjoys simple physical touch like hand holding and pats, stuff like that generally (thank you if you can and so sorry if you closed requests for all)

Kokichi and Nagito With a Sensitive S/O

Series: Danganronpa.

Characters: Kokichi and Nagito.

Genre: Fluff.

Reader: Gender Neutral.

Notes: Don't worry! Your English is fine! Honestly English is my first language and sometimes I can't even write or speak it lmao.

Kokichi

This little...well at first like anyone else he would trick and play pranks on you. When he first played a prank on you he expected you to be confused or annoyed. He well...he didn't think you would end up crying because of the prank.

Because of this, he ended up feeling pretty guilty about it. So pranks were something he wouldn't do to you. Well, he'd still prank Miu, Gonta, Shuichi, and the others.

So instead he'd tease you! Not nearly as bad as a prank so this would be fine right? Well, it seems not you'd also get upset from the teasing as well. What a horrible boyfriend always making you cry smh. 🙄

But over time he'd come to realize this was just how you were and to keep the pranks and teasing to a minimum or stop all altogether if that's what you wanted. However, in his heart he couldn't stop teasing you he just had to see your cute flustered face!

I feel like Kokichi would at first act annoyed by how clingy you are. But in truth, he loves it oh so much. He loves how you feel comfortable and safe to hold hands and hug him.

In truth, it probably also made him a little overprotective of you. But seeing your smile and just the fact you've stuck with him. Means the world to him and he wants nothing more for you to be safe and happy.

Nagito

"Huh? Why would want to hug trash like me?" This mf I swear it never stops with him 🙄. He knows you're clingy but he still doesn't understand as he puts it to hug. "Trash like me."

(Tbh he should know the answer because he's your boyfriend!) Even though Nagito says things like this he loves how clingy you are with him. Plus in my opinion, he'd be great to cuddle with just look at that hair! It's so soft!

I feel like if you don't see Nagito for a while or if he's with his friends. You can get pretty jealous and even more clingy! If he is talking with someone you'll go up and hug him from behind.

Honestly, if you were to cry or ever feel insecure Nagito wouldn't allow you to feel that way for long. You're his S/O you're amazing and are such a great person! He'll love you no matter what so don't be afraid to tell him anything.

In his eyes, you're an angel and he thanks his luck he was able to be with you. If you ever are feeling down have no fear Nagito is here! He wants you to be happy so if you're feeling down he can be just as clingy!

Of course, he'll get cuddly with you and get you whatever you want! Just ask as long as it's for it's worth it. "You look wonderful today angel. I know trash like me doesn't deserve it but can I have a kiss?"

[schlattslonghairytoes]

chapter three

real life!

talia

ah fuck, I need to stop saying yes to ted. I'm scared, really scared I don't want to see schlatt, he doesn't even know I'm coming. ted won't tell him, nor will hansum or cooper or whoever else lives in that house

they call themselves the lunch club, do I know why, no. do I want to know, also not really, everyone will be arriving today, schlatt, cooper and some guy named travis will be here tomorrow. so at least I can have one day without schlatt. I don't even know what to say to him. 

what if he hates me and I ruin everything for everybody, what if they all hate me cause im annoying or to scared or... ok im spiraling in my head again. everything will be ok, worst comes to worst, I will go back home and forget I ever came here in the first place. my thoughts are silenced by my car arriving at the lunch house.

its actually very nice, its a modern house with three floors overlooking the ocean, I'm starting to feel excited rather then nervous. as I walk up the front steps the door flings open to ted, charlie, tyler, and maddie waiting for me to arrive. they all call out their welcomes and invite me into the house.

"hey guys!" i put down my stuff and bring everyone into a hug. "the house is so nice!" i tell ted, he's the one who everything together.

"thank you I worked hard to find it, hey mads can you help lia set up her stuff in her room?" ted turns to his girlfriend. 

"yes of course lets go talia" she leads me up the stairs, and leads me to a room right near the stairs, "ok so that's my room, here is your room, and I think the room next to you is empty, but it has a connecting bathroom is that alright?" she points to the bathroom shared between the two rooms. 

"yea that's fine whoever it is im sure won't mind." I tell her. she just looks at me.

"are you scared for schlatt to get here?" that question stunned me, I was scared, but I had hoped no one could notice.

"I am yeah, what if he doesn't want to talk to me, or even see me at that, he hurt me so bad mads, but I abandoned him." she understood me, we had been friends for as long as id known ted, she knows everything about me and schlatt, good and bad.

"hey jay can you pass me my drink" I asked as I applied my makeup, we were about to leave for a party the summer before senior year, "yeah but please don't get to drunk, god your fucking annoying when your drunk." he passes the drink and lays down on my bed. "hey don't be a dick ok, you're not any better." I laugh, thinking he's joking, when his tone changed dramatically. "no im serious, your so annoying when your drunk, you're always all over Alex." that caught me off guard, why the hell does he care. I turn around and see him snapping someone but I don't pay that any attention. "hey why are you being like, deadass mean, I thought we were kidding around."

"just don't be fucking annoying, and stop being a sensitive bitch talia, its not that deep"

it was like that a lot with schlatt, always angry at me, I was always doing something wrong. oh but the good times we had, the good times were more then good. they were perfect.

we sat on the swings of the park, high as kites, laughing, pushing each other, holding hands, "holy shit jay I have to get home, oh shit were like thirty blocks from my apartment." I lean over laughing, god we were never serious. "we should city bike to your crib, ill just stay over your mom probably isn't home." he says. "jay we are both so high, do you really think that's a good fucking idea." I laugh back

so that's what we did, we city biked all the way back to my apartment, high as ever, laughing, schlatt crashing into a trash can, and even cuddled in my bed watching a movie. 

maddie left my room, so I could unpack my stuff, I was supposed to stay for two weeks, that was the plan if nothing went wrong. all I could do is hope it stayed that way, I did some work for my classes, taking notes on films and then went downstairs around 6:30, everyone was hanging around the kitchen making something to eat

no one here had any cooking skills except me and Maddie, so I offered to cook. my parents usually weren't around, so I got very good at cooking for myself and schlatt when he was around, I decided I was gonna make my grandmas lasagna recipe, so I got in my car, and went of to the nearest grocery store.

I blast whne i was your man by bruno mars when I get a notification from charlie

 

iMessage!

charles chaplin🥳

hey talia?

what's up charles

ok so two things

one get me chocolate milk from the store

two

schlatt may or may not of arrived a day early. 

what.

this schlatt?

jonathan jedidiah schlatt.

possibly?

fuck.

twitter!

talia😩 @taliatalks4ever

what if i just spun my car off the side of the road and into a ditch and never told anyone.

💬652     ♻️73     🤍6,917

load more replies...

@user3835289

what is with you and cars

            reply:

     @taliatalk4ever

             kachow.

@broskination

"never told anyone" hey so you just told the whole internet, as that's how tweeting works!

@charlieslimecicle

hey can you text someone else before you go, don't wanna be framed or anything.☺️

unblock @jjshlatty?

yes               no

real life!

schlatt's perspective

"ok so we have something to tell you" charlie sits me down on the couch with ted, hansum and cooper.

"why the long face." no one laughs at my joke "hey seriously is everyone alright, why are you guys being so serious." Charlie and ted make eye contact before nodding at each other.

"guys what is going on, I feel like im on trial" I plead as a car pulls into the driveway.

"why don't you go find out." ted pushes me to the front door.

why are they acting so weird, I go to open the front door, and I see a familiar figure standing by a white jeep, unloading what i think is groceries, but its not until I see the license plate, does my mind realize who is standing roughly 20 feet infront of me.

"ok so I was thinking I do either 'ROMANO99' or maybe 'TALIAROM'? something cute." talia points to a baddazled license plate that she wants to customize even further, "talia that thing is so bright. its gonna blind a cop when they, inevitably pull you over, no. also neither of those are cute, just do a normal license plate." I laugh. "how are you even gonna drive this thing in all the traffic here, you're never going to use this car." I ask her.

"you know my dad lives in long Island, im gonna visit him throughout the summer and we can go on drives and stuff, cmon it will be fun, your just mad your dad said no car for you." she laughs as she looks at more license plates. she was right. having a car was a good idea.

she turns around I think I lose all the air in my body, holy shit, what the fuck is she doing here, I know she's friends with ted, cause he can't stop mentioning her to me, but what the actual fuck is she doing here. she's holding maybe 6 grocery bags, and we both haven't said anything. what should I even say, do I even want to talk to her.

god its been way to long I have to say something, ok fuck here I go.

"hi" we both said in unison, shit I can't do this. she starts laughing and I can't help but join her. she drops the grocery bags lightly on the floor and holds out her arms with a sad smile. there has always been a force between us, growing up on the same street, mothers best friends, we were meant to be near each other at all times.

but the force at which I went to hug her, newton would of been floored. I wrap my arms around her and hug her as hard as I can, these last two years without her have been so hard, and here she is.

like it had never even happened, slotting right back into the spot meant to hold her. she wraps her arms around my neck and I lift her off the floor, when I put her down she has tears in her eyes, she never liked being lifted off the ground, but that didn't matter right now.

"hi jay." she says looking up at me through her big eyes, the ones that always made me say yes to her, the ones I loved. "hi lia." I smile back, she's prettier then I remember, shorter aswell, quite short actually.  "when did you get so short?" I laugh

"when did your balls drop?" she quips back like no time had ever passed, like the good old days. I take her right back into another hug, the sun had set. her arms wrap around my waist and my hands go to her hair. ive missed her more then anyone could imagine, the moment she came back to my arms, im now determined I won't let her leave them again.

instagram!

onehansumguy

🤍              💬                                                                                                                            slide 6/10

                     liked by taliasgrill jjshlatty and 34,083 others

onehansumguy first day in san diego pic dumps boutta go crazy

view all 2,492 comments 

2 hours ago

[phoenixastramurdercore]

(Personal Stuff) Survived Yet again! Had a Mini Stroke, Worried bc Stroke Survivor!

Hey, I wanted to get back into art so bad I might need to go a bit slow. I had a major stroke 7 years ago and recovered pretty well over the years despite having multiple physical disabilities, lots of my memories recovered, my mobility recovered(besides pain issues and some other disabilities that spike if I move around TOO much)

And chronic fatigue isn't as bad/fluctuates. But I have to get more excercise even if it hurts me so that also leaves less time to draw and I have to take it easy/not think too hard about anything right now. I was really excited to get back into art and like do a whole bunch of stuff! But for some reason my overexcitement to do all the things game me a ton of symptoms over the past week of when I had a stroke like right before I had one, besides the face droop mostly I had a mini stroke yesterday and It was fairly short. I feel better today, I'm okay, But I wanted to let you guys know I've been gone for a while because my healths been really, really bad hahaha. I keep trying to improve it and do what I can, my physical body is so so sensitive to just mental overthinking and silly stuff to the point where I was overexerting my...brain? it's really hard to explain. Anyways! I'm fine, I'm okay, but I gotta go real slow at everything rn because that leaves me very prone to having an actual stroke again, and I don't want to know what another one would do if I survived it. Just MAN ya'll this just a note like take care of yourself, not trying to make anyone *panic* but stress is so so real and is so dangerous, legitimately. A lot of drs neglected my severe anxiety/panic attacks for yeaaaaarss like I was having panic attacks so often they eventually became seizures, and then I got more and mor health issues wrong with me. Stress can destroy you from the inside out. My dad also thinks I had a stroke or something like a stroke when I was 19/20 or something like that and he didn't know it was one at the time! and I didn't even know it happened. So if you aren't aware please know what the signs are. I had eye twitching and bad dizziness/vertigo for days and I could barely comprehend/what was being said to me, kept misunderstanding stuff and was reading/hearing things wrong and could not process stuff correctly. i kept forgetting what I was doing, or where I was or if some stuff existed. Now it's hard because some of my anxiety stuff can do things like that too. But the migraines and headaches I've been getting have been so bad, but then the numbness on one side came, and it was worse on the left side of my face(which is where I got face droop years ago) and my words werent totally slurred but weren't coming out right. WHEW. Following up with my dr soon and specialists..but they are booked far out so I hope she can see me sooner. But seriously guys take care of your mental health. You NEVER know what will happen fr. Life is so unpredictable! Stay strong <3 And prioritize your health no matter what happens.

[elizabethplaid]

daily notes - april 17, 2024

Idk how y'all deal with how compact everything is on tumblr's mobile site. I just tried it for the first time, and it felt cramped. I'm also fussy about change, so it's more about my hang-ups than something actually being wrong.

Languid, lounging day. Bedroom window was open, so I stayed in bed for an extra few hours, playing on my phone. (Took meds and ate before going to bed this morning, so I am still being mildly responsible.) Moscow was in the window, enjoying the view. The neighborhood livestock made a lot of sounds today, mostly some lamb or kid lamenting frequently. Donkey has been heard but not much today.

Sinuses are draining again, as "seasonal sneezonals" come 'round. I've mentioned being careful about blowing my nose, with the dried stuff being mixed with scabs. Somehow, I loosened something deeper today. Not a bleeder that couldn't be stopped (what I usually call a nosebleed), but certainly bloody and raw from inside my sinuses. If it's not dripping onto my face, I don't usually worry about it.

Dad made something with strong herbs tonight. Not gross or burning like his usual "bad smell" dishes. (Mexican and Indian spices are too strong for my nose. I take a calculated risk with my taquito indulgences, where it smells stronger than it tastes.) Probably some sort of Italian ravioli thing; I didn't look at the package. I'd probably eat it on another occasion. I'm just sensitive tonight.

My sister called, and it seems my younger nephew is graduating high school this year. Dad is thinking about going out to see everyone, but he planned for me to stay behind. The idea of a cross-country trip didn't seem ~as~ scary as it has in the past, but I know I'm not chill enough for my sister's family's chaos. They're wild and loud, and there's a lot of people. Besides, it's my nephew's time to shine; I need a more chill atmosphere.

Speaking of, I talked with LL-K some more about her wedding plans. We talked about snacks and some accommodations. I mentioned preferring not to touch my food when I eat, or needing to wipe my hands and how I wash my hands to self-soothe. "Elizabeth, I would obviously let you in the house to wash your hands!" she said, seeing how I was starting to spiral. I also had to ramble about bananas for a bit, because I just really love them.

I'm also really grateful her older brother is neurodivergent. She's already planned some things with him in mind, and she's said I've helped her gain better insight. It's always good to feel valued. <3

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 9

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Worked on the previously mentioned tapestry style painting thing for like 5-6 hours today (with a few breaks in between), and that's just for the border around the main picture lol.. I think all the little sections and detail always take longer than I think they might. But hopefully the final product will look interesting! :0

I feel like I'm entering another Sick Phase where I just am weird/ill/sleepy/having joint pains much of the day (probably some vitamin deficiencies or hormone imbalances or general bodily inflammation or whatever nonsense seems to randomly pop up from time to time lol), so couldn't focus on anything more intensive like writing or editing videos, unfortunately. It's good to have smaller crafts I can do that don't take much mental effort and are just menial hand tasks (like carving, painting, sculpting, etc.), but I still always feel frustrated falling behind on the things I see as much more broadly significant to my overall life and potential career (making games, writing, finishing videos, socializing, costumes, etc.)

Organized my desk a little. Responded to some doctor emails. Paid bills.

Planned out something I might make with pressed flowers tomorrow.

Edited like 4 costume photos.

Also have a lingering sense of dread due to the weather. The heat often makes me feel terrible, and if I'm already in kind of a Bad Phase at the moment, I'm afraid of it making it even worse... stimky..

Which I know these temperatures are nothing to some people but.. to me... aUGHHHH... I am abnormally heat sensitive + live in a dinky old apartment with no ventilation that gets direct sun the hottest part of the day.. on a 90F day outside, it literally gets about 84F inside.. like.. even people who love the heat I feel like would struggle to sleep at night if their bed is 85F lol... hewwo.. You can spray yourself down with water, drink ice water, put a fan on yourself, etc. etc. but.. sometimes it just feels so oppressive and inescapable..

ANYWAY. Aside from painting, feeling weird, and dreading the upcoming heat/contemplating my entire life and how to get enough money to move to a different climate somehow one day/existential exhaustion/etc., I didn't accomplish very much lol

Spent maybe 30 minutes thinking about a little more worldbuilding stuff, and some things in reference to the game I mentioned resuming work on at some point.

Notable sights: The clouds were really pretty and pastel this afternoon, and some stars are visible in the sky for once since the nights are beginning to be clearer. The 'forget me not' flowers that I thought had died after transplanting actually seemed to be perked up and healthy looking today, and perhaps may actually survive. >:3

Goals moving forward: Do new poll adventure post. focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with the ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.

Notable foods: Not much, kind of a warm day so didn't really want to use the oven. No idea how I'll handle the diet I've been put on by my doctors (involves usually cooking all food fresh, using the stove a lot, nothing is supposed to be canned or processed or premade, so that eliminates a lot of 'quick easy simple warm weather' meals, etc. etc.) during the heatwave. I might just have to break the diet a little and hope it doesn't give me stomach pains while I'm already hot and feeling sick lol..

I did have a boiled egg with some green onions on top, which is very simple but was refreshing somehow lol. Another ice cold ginger ale treat today, and some cold prune juice (which I know most people find gross/it's an old person food/etc., but I like that it's a smooth textured and not very sweet juice? Like it's slightly thicker than apple juice, has a lightly bitter taste, etc. I just find it nice for some reason. More evidence I am secretly an 85 year old wizard)

[onmymasa22]

Do a silk painting without gutta

Thats u, and this is me.

And everything is exactly how it needs to be.

Whatever is going on with u, is going on with u. Im in a world where i want to watch crossing delancy

I find that the body sometimes holds onto dates. I dont know if its scientifically proven. For me it comes from an episode of greys anatomy. A woman has a heart issue on the same day every year, and they find out that that date years ago, her forst love died and since she has suffered from a "broken heart". If your body is shaking today. If you have anxiety that you are trying to keep from being debilitating. If you woke up just wanting to go back to sleep. If breathing exercises aren't doing enough. If things need to get put off from today because you are just trying to keep it together. You are not alone.

Throw up into a diary how you feel

Let yourself cry.

I want a great life

The body holds onto dates. We remember what our body went through a year ago. And while no one is destroying my life this second, a year ago it was, and today my body feels like everything is falling apart, even though it's not. I woke up shaking. I haven't shaken the feeling of wanting to throw up yet and it's 15:35. It feels like the world is falling apart. And today, thats what it feels like. October 7th 2024 feels like my own personal world is falling apart outside of everyone elses and outside out reality. Im happy that i have my stuff figured out. Im waiting to see the contract for living in Jerusalem. Im doing ok. Im paying. Im alright.

U will be ok. Theres no war going on. U can do today. It wont be easy. But the war in your head is not like the war outside. So take a deep breathe. Play guitar today.

Learn ballet. Make mugs and dishes out of clay with your hands. Create art. Learn piano.

I made an instagram page. Its hard not to compaire myself to others. Why dont i get the same opportunities as they do. Why dont people see me. Where is my place. I need to seperate- who inspires me and who makes me feel competitive. Who feed the critic voice in my head, and who feeds the passion voice in my head. In the end, i need to just keep creating. You arent who i want to be. I dont need for u to like me. You arent straight.

I'm so excited to never see you again after my degree. Itll be nice to not need to be around people who are slanted.

Who else is waiting for mani pedis to become

I know when I'm standing across from someone who is slanted. They will live slanted, and they'll die slanted. It has nothing to do with me. I know when im right. I know when im wrong.

I think the reggio emilia approach is the most stupid approach there is for above kindergarten. Its meant for early childhood to age 6. Thats all its for. I think that thats is stupid.

This year i can go in knowing that this isnt for me. I can just play music in my head instead of being in class

What to do instead of listening while the teacher is teaching.

It's been a year that we have felt more connected to being Jewish.

A year that we have shown how brilliant we are. We brought washing machines, dryers, BBQs, generators, and phone chargering stations to the border.

We have given haircuts and shaves out of love.

We have tied tzitzis.

We have helped farmers.

We have fed fish and watered plants for the kindergartens that were evacuated.

We have housed people, we have helped people, we have supported people emotionally and monetarily.

We have given birth to more babies.

We have celebrated marriages.

We have dedicated happiness, joy, dancing, and loving to those we have lost.

We sang zemiros.

We laughed till our stomachs hurt.

We have baked challah, we have sung havdallah as a group.

We have been sensitive to others and what they might be going through.

We have cried from videos of soldiers calling their mothers, and we have hugged people tighter.

We have heard Holocaust survivors remind us that we will get through this.

We saw notes written for religious Jews so they would know that those hostages were rescued that Shabbos in the summer.

We celebrated and could breathe deeply that shabbos.

This year has effected everyone a million different ways. With all the bad, there's also this.

[sleepyivoryrose]

I forgot completely was I wanted to write. I had a little jumpscare right now. Remind me to never, ever put tags in my posts again. People actually finding this blog scares the living shit outta me.

I mean, I'm doing this sort of for mental health purposes. Having a clear line what you wrote, when you wrote it, and why you wrote it, is much easier (and to be fair, feels less like a chore) than keeping a word document or a bullet journal or smt.

I could post everything privately though, now that I think about it...it's at least worth a consideration.

I guess...it's like screaming into an abyss or something. You like hear yourself echo, but there's always the possibilty that someone might greet back? even though everytime it happens, it scares me...

....

Today I ate too much letter soup. I know, it's for kids. I wanted to do myself a f(l)avor and (s)wallow in nostalgia for a while. Just like with everything though, I put a little bit too much. Same with my plants, I don't let them dry out, most of the time I overwater them. I give too much. Too much of a care, too much of a reaction. Maybe it's not enough though. So people would finally take me seriously. So that my own mom stops gaslighting me and the people who are supposed to help me don't believe a word I say. I guess it comes with the schizofrenic and pacifist territory. People suck sometimes.

But there's also a lot of good in the world. People tell me I should stop with the internet, and maybe they're right. I just had the experience that the nicest, most understanding, most lovable people I met, were on the internet.

Not to say that it's all roses and sunshine. Everytime I open twitter, I get a headache (but my longing for good art is stronger.)

I am fully aware that life isn't a walk in the park. I'm very sensitive though, even though online I seem brashen and temperamental and offline I'm kind of stoic, doesn't mean I'm completely either of those things. I hurt easily, and I have my coping mechanisms to protect myself.

----

I already have enough bad vibes as it is. People are instinctively untrusting of me, and my head feels like a black comedy.

I would love to be a more optimistic and fun person, that's why I go so overboeard with the fangirling sometimes. Also, it's fun!

Offline it just doesn't come naturally to me. My grip on myself there is so strong, that I barely talk or show much emotion. One of my caretakers thought I was autistic, and I would love to check it out, but Germanys medical system is on the border of collapse, so it's hard to find medical care for things that aren't, yknow, fatal.

And it's not like I don't get social cues, I think. On the contrary, I am very observant of the people around me. I just don't react much to it, is all.

So I kind of need a way out of this madness, ykno? And that's where this lovely blog comes in. It gives me a place to vent up my inner thoughts and feelings, even if I can't verbalize them spontaneously.

...

Huh, jolly writing about stuff helped me forget my ear pain. Maybe it's stress induced...? - mumble mumble-

Well, anyways. Right now there is still no honking. On the other hand, the soccer game starts in like, 3 mins.

To end this on a good note, my friend came all happy and excited from a convention. I'm so happy for her. She saw a ton of cosplayers, and bought a lot of stuff. I am really glad she had so much fun.

I don't think, with my actual social anxiety and energy levels, that I would survive a convention, even if it sounds really fun.

---

There's a sweet smell in the air...either my roommate just showered (which would be odd, she normally does that in the morning) or the flower bushes three streets away smell into my room. Or are they roses? It's like a floral, sweet smell...! the heavy, hot air of a lingering thunderstorm seems to have carried it here. Nice.

Anyways, on that poetic word I'm gonna end my monologing for today. Or maybe not...who knows.

Deuces!

[arminsumi]

OFFICE PLAYTIME

↳ NANAMI ななみ + fem!reader

"...I think you deserve a raise..."

1.3k

Summary : Nanami and his secretary... doing "work" in his office.

Warnings : 🔞 minors do not interact/read : smut/explicit content : daddy kink, unprotected sex, public setting (office sex), secretary x boss trope, namecalling (wh*re, sl*ut, +++), taboo fantasy (sexual relationship with your boss), creampie, m*sturbation (reader), sex on desk, blowjob, mean dom Nanami + soft sweetheart Nanami, praise, dirty talk, light humiliation, horny!reader, implied breeding kink, referring to c*m as "baby batter"

Note : this came from the heart 👍 i love boss nanami. and he's my true daddy (the rest r fake!!!!!) even if i don't write much for him. reqs open. bring me nanami thank u!

"Daddy... I n-need you..."

Nanami raises his brows, looking down at you pawing his clothed bulge while he's sat in his office doing paperwork. His throat constricts as his length starts hardening under your touch.

"Hm, what? What does my angel need?"

You squeeze the outline of his shaft and nearly moan.

"I need you to fuck me..."

"... well aren't you vulgar?" he stifles a laugh. "Alright. Work for it."

"But I need it so bad!"

"Work for it."

"Please, I'm so wet, j-just stuff your cock in me..."

He finally lets out a laugh, and firmly grabs your hand to stop your movements. "You're being such a slut today. Is it because I fucked you raw this morning? Hm? Is that it? I know it is. You're just a cock hungry slut. Is that right? You just want your boss to fuck you instead of putting that brain to work."

"Daddy's s-so mean..." you sigh erotically. Your bedroom eyes make his tip twitch. He practices self-discipline and refrains from shoving his dick down your throat right then.

He lifts your chin, making you look at him. "But you're the one with a kink for it, aren't you? You begged for me to be meaner. So now I will be. And that wasn't a suggestion... that was a command... work for it, slut."

Nanami looks at you coldly while you rip off his belt eagerly and thumb over his leaky cockhead. He's a silent man. So eliciting a groan or erotic noise from him means you're really doing something good... or maybe he's just sensitive. Or both.

"Such a pretty face... and a slutty mouth." he husks as you lower your lips down his cockhead, swirling your tongue around and around and relishing in the feeling of his meaty cock.

"Daddy..." you try to speak om his cock, and he groans at the vibration of your voice. That nickname drives him insane. He's not been much of a kinky man, but calling him daddy? He insisted you do it from day one. It's his weakness but he won't admit it.

He stoically observes you sucking his cock. "How's that pretty hole feeling? Eager to get stuffed I bet."

You nod and sputter "mhm!", your saliva and spit sloppily dripping down his cock. He admires the sight of your mouth being wide open and filled to the brim with his cock, what's a better way to spend boring office hours than with his secretary on his knees like this?

His big manly hand goes to the back of your head and helps you work up and down on his length, making you take more than you can handle while you whorishly smile.

"Damn slut... imagine if your coworkers knew you called your boss "daddy". Do you think they'd still respect you if they knew you were a fucking whore for me? Bet you'd love for them to walk in on you while you get your throat stuffed like this... f-fuck..."

He broke his stoic expression for a moment when he felt a particularly good pang of pleasure shoot through his cock. Nanami usually has lots of stamina, but when when he's using your throat in his office... well the naughty circumstance makes him bust quickly.

You feel him pulse as he creampies your throat, holding you down on it to make sure not a drop of his precious baby batter is wasted.

"Fuuuck... that's a good little slut..."

You frantically dip your finger into your hole and massage it. It's so sensitive even teasing feels too good.

"Don't play with that pussy without daddy's permission." Nanami seethes.

He forces you to stand up and folds you over his desk roughly, carelessly. A stapler and pen box crashes to the carpeted floor and some coworkers turn their heads, but then return back to focusing in their cubicle.

"Sh-shit... you're this wet for me...? Nasty whore. I'll fuck you good. You better be quiet or you're fired, understood?" he threatens half-heartedly while rubbing his cock sideways on your pussy, slapping and rubbing it through your slit a few times.

And you swallow an erotic squeal as he plunges his meaty cock into your eager pussy. Just the sensation of his length gliding past your folds sent a shockwave of pleasure through your body.

"Da—ddyyy! Fuck! You're so fucking big!" you exclaim.

"Sh-shit... not so loud, not so loud... ghnnnn..." he stifles a grunt and starts pounding into your clingy pussy.

A sloppy slapping sound echoes off his office walls, but he can't slow down or go easier on you; it feels way too good. And you're being too slutty for him to think straight. So what if people hear him fucking his secretary? He doesn't care what anyone thinks when he's balls deep in your hole.

"Fuck that's it... that's it... just let yourself feel me. Feel daddy split you open... oh, god that slutty little hole is gripping me so good today..."

He grits his teeth and holds in his groans. A few grunts slip past his lips, it sounds like they come from deep within his chest.

"I'm gonna cu—mmmmf!"

"Then cum and shut the fuck up. Don't need to announce it to the whole office, do you? Or does thought that make you wanna cum even more?"

His words bring you over the edge. He gulps at the sight, because truly it's so beautiful to see your body freak out while orgasming.

"Fuck... oh you're such a good secretary for daddy; I think you deserve a raise." he groans, pressing a heated kiss to your lips.

Your face is so purely erotic. He's entranced by the way your pussy contracts and squeezes tightly, nearly clamping down on his dick.

"That's it... fuck! Ahhh, milk daddy's dick. Milk me with that slutty hole. Take my creampie."

Just as he cums, you cum too, rubbing sluttily on your clit; it totally breaks him to feel your sweet pussy convulsing around his slick shaft. You feel him pumping cum deep into your hole, his cockhead throbbing scaldingly hot as he snuggles it against a sweet spot.

"Ooh... good girl... good fuckin' g-girl..." he slides out, admiring the sheen on your pussy and the cum streaking his cock.

He soothes your shaking body with his big hands, placing a tender kiss on you.

"You're so cute when you're a horny slut." he gives a light smack to your thigh.

You giggle and let out a small noise as his cock slides out with a pop. There's a string of thick cum connecting from his cockhead to your slit, it drips slowly and melts against your hole.

Nanami's frown is so funny, but he's serious about not wasting his baby batter. He fingers it into you slowly.

"Tighten up. Don't wanna see another drop spill out." he commands. "You did say you wanted daddy's babies this morning, didn't you?"

You nod. "Yeah~"

"Good girl. Now get back to work."

Nanami helps you clean up and compose yourself before shoving you out of his office with a playfulness.

He's trying to focus on his papers, but ohm.. your juices soaked them. And now he's thinking about how you're sitting at your secretary desk with his creampie oozing out of your loosened hole.

"Fuck..." he mutters under his breath.

He texts you a short message;

📨 1 NEW FROM : KENTO NANAMI

Check your balance. Use it to buy a pretty outfit. I'm pampering you tonight, so rest up. ❤️ — Daddy

[frogsandfries]

I'm tiwed and I'm trying to fight with my printer to just......j-j-just print my stuff pleeeeeeaaaaasssssseeeee.

A neighbor hijacked my package with vitamins and colored pencils so I hope they appreciate my expensive vitamins and cat lotion spray stuff. It was an Amazon driver who was supposed to get my stuff to me, so if this package doesn't show up, it's on Amazon. That door clearly said the wrong number.

My face took like two hours to stop being numb, and being a dumbass at times, I tried to eat thin crust pizza. I couldn't really tell if I was chewing it well or if I was drooling, so I gave up for a while. The filling material feels weird, but the actual fillings were done really well. My bite is fine. However, I've got a bit more sensitivity than before, for now.

They had to jab my face like five times because I just kept feeling it. I tried to avoid it, but I kept having to stop him. Funnily, I feel it more in the top, but I was jabbed more in the bottom, I think. I should have cut back on the marijuana, but I didn't think they would need to numb me?? So definitely, when I get my wisdom teeth done, I need to lay off for at least a couple weeks before. The only reason I've been consuming so much is, it's been helping me deal with the stress and anxiety of a high call volume.

Ideally, I can build a habit where I'm chill and relaxed and focused on each call one at a time, and I, ideally, won't need to give myself interventions.............. now if only I could figure out how to use marijuana to train out my depression...........

Oh, and I had something weird happen at the dollar store today. I have like forty bucks left in my checking, but I had to put items back. I just shrugged it off at the moment because the dentist had been a significant amount more than I'd original anticipated and I wasn't going to try even a napkin calculation. Luckily, it was extra stuff, a candy bunny, a couple different types of note/thinking tools, a scrub brush for like, the house. But I completely forgot coffee filters 🤦‍♀️ d'oh!

My "healthy" chewing gum, that I've been looking forward to trying, is supposed to be here tomorrow, along with my coloring book, so I'm going to be super disappointed if my package with my vitamins and colored pencils doesn't show up.

I'm going to check for this package one more time and then I'm going to bed. My ensure was supposed to have been delivered a prior day and showed up the next day and I just thought it was Walmart lying. I did manage to get my cat food but I just cannot fill the bin right now. I can't even think about touch typing.....

[purplesurveys]

1767

Have you had more hot or cold drinks today? More of cold. I will say though(!!!) I've recently...turned a shift towards hot coffee? Like this is not bad at all??? I've been having hot mugs all week long and it may very well grow to become a new habit of mine.

What's a name you like that's similar to yours? There aren't a lot of names that bear a similarity to Robyn per se, but in the sense that it's unisex I am generally a fan of such names – like Stevie, Frankie, Dylan, Billie/Billy...

Where did you get the last plate/bowl you ate with from? I don't know, these were the plates we've had from the day we moved in here. I'm guessing they were bought by my parents at some mall.

How's your mental health today? It is very stable and I can tell you it's because I don't have to think about work until Friday.

What bands and artists did you listen to when you were a teenager? Mainly Paramore, but there was a lot of punk rock in there as well. Rancid, H2O, The Bouncing Souls, Against Me!, The Misfits...I don't listen to them nearly as much anymore but I'll always have a soft spot for each of them and for that phase in my life.

Do your feelings get hurt easily? Yes, I'm quite sensitive.

What sort of restaurant did you last eat at? Well it was a Chili's, so. American and a bit of Mexican in there if I understood their concept correctly lol? Anyway, it was my first time eating there too and tbh I had had a high standard because of its price range, only to not be impressed. Why is it even so expensive there? They serve exactly the same stuff you'd find everywhere else.

Do you have a friend who's always sending you TikTok videos? Do you actually watch them? Kata used to send me TikTok videos until she stopped because I never was on the app, lol. Angela would still send me some occasionally, though.

Have you ever seen a cougar in the wild? Never.

Will you attend a wedding in the next 3 months? Unless I get an invitation from today, no.

Are you good at following instructions? They have to be written/printed out otherwise I'd forget instantly.

What's your backyard or outdoor area like? It's clean and plain, but we don't really do things there. We prefer to entertain guests in the living room or at the rooftop.

Do you like your boss? (or your last boss if you don't currently have one) Bea has always been a fantastic superior and mentor to me from the day I stepped in the workplace, which is why I'm gutted that she's leaving any day now. My personal work morale has been low ever since she announced the news and I still haven't figured out how I'm supposed to manage everything and everyone once she's actually out the door.

When was the last time you took a selfie? Does it count if it's a mirror selfie? I took a few ones at the salon earlier this afternoon when I was getting my hair dyed.

What did you have for breakfast yesterday? Fried rice with egg and ham bits.

What do you do to entertain yourself on a long flight or journey? I would download several YouTube videos in advance so I can watch them while offline.

Where are you right now? I'm at the rooftop but I literally am gonna pack up and go back to my room after this question because holy fuck does my back hurt.

Have you ever done a hearing test? Continued a whole day after. I don't think I have.

Do you hate small talk? Depends on how it goes. I'm pretty good with small talk but you can only do so much if the other person is too shy or is stingy with their responses. If I sense that they're not into conversing then I stop.

What's the hottest temperature your current town/city has ever had? There's no confirmed record for the hottest temperature in my city. I'm gonna guess somewhere between 40-45ºC though as summers can get brutal.

What programs/applications do you currently have open on the device you're using right now? I have Chrome, Spotify, and Notes.

How many steps per day do you do, generally? Hahahaha. I work from home and don't exercise so the average is less than 100 a day, embarrassingly enough. It's a different story when I get the chance to be outside because I do like to catch up on my steps; for days like those I would average anywhere between 8,000 to 10,000.

Have you had any snacks today? Yeah I had a couple bags of my favorite sweet corn chips. It's not as bad as it sounds – the bags are *really* tiny so that's why I had to have two of them lol.

Did you have any exchange students at your high school or university and did you become friends with them? We probably had batches of them come and go in college but I never did recognize them. My university has a huge population and it would've been impossible to know every single student.

What's the next thing you'll tick off your to-do list? It's a holiday tomorrow but I need to do a bit of work here and there just so I'm not completely stacked by Friday.

Have you ever had a chia pet? No.

What's your favourite sandwich filling? Pulled pork.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? Nopes.

What was the last reason you saw a doctor? Dog bite.

Do you use light mode or dark mode on your phone? It's been on dark mode for as long as I've had it.

[arcanemoody]

It's 4:30pm.

I'm in Chicago.

I'm drinking blue sports drink from my Stranger Things customized steel water bottle.

Had a day off today -- originally to attend the Library Leaders Forum put on by the Internet Archive (way back in August when I registered). In a fun coincidence, today was also the day I was supposed to pick up the car from the mechanic's. That has been delayed once more, so we are going to have several more days with our rental car.

I poured the rest of my day into professional development modules -- one on Gender Identity, one on Identity and Race in the Classroom. That's about three more hours on my PDR. I also went ahead and registered for a couple upcoming webinars and I signed up for an account with AFT's Share My Lesson portal.

I ran some errands in the afternoon -- scanned some sticker pages at the office supply store. Got some jewelry pliers and nail polish at Dollar Tree. Got a little milk crate for the car and some E6000 from Wally World. My last stop was at the charity shop, where I found a comfy skirt, a Halloween costume for Washington, and two Black Butler mangas from the late aughts. Not a bad haul.

Got some home-related stuff done: took Washington for a walk. We had a bunch of sliced tomatoes that I needed to cook, so I started a batch of drunken noodles for Rocket and me. she's been working at home all day.

Symptoms check-in: mild to minimal fatigue today. I think it's the weather. No sound sensitivity. Mild constriction, no overheating, LOTS of random itches I chewed off 90 percent of my nail polish and repainted the rest twice. Minimal dysphoria.

Things I feel positive about: going to the Welcome to Night Vale live show at the Vic last night. The zine I have a rough outline for. The notes I took during the Library Leaders Forum. The spicy broth I had to throw together for the drunken noodles when I accidentally let the first batch reduce too quickly. Got a PSL this morning.

[rocksanddeadflowers]

(First off my laptop is uncooperative today and Tumblr is being very glitchy on my phone so this was hard to write...) a master post thingy sounds like a good idea!! This thing is a mess lmao ...

Okay okay very hard to scroll around to read and response with my stuff being glitchy atm but I am gonna try!! Brian being sensitive to touch - yes!!!! I feel like a lot of mechs fics do Brian being unable to feel touch or it being very dulled down because of his being made of metal and all, which works well in the canon material to me. But Carmilla in this AU trying to keep his functions as human as possible (even if she has to use magic all over to ensure that) which includes him being able to feel touch. It's just that it ends up being almost too sensitive at times!! So he gets overwhelmed easy- I love it.

Everything about the west wing scene !!!! :')

Also Lyf totally steals Marius's shoes out of spite after that

GARDENING BRIAN YES!!!!! (Also works to me bc I feel like him being good at medical stuff translating to witchcraft can often include herbal/plant usage a lot) (Also Lyf LOVES the gardens btw that's their safe space.) Consider: Nastya adored tending to the gardens as they're part of Castle Aurora and all and it's just therapeutic for her. Upon returning expecting everything to be overgrown or dead- but finding places that have clearly been recently tended to and absolutely melting. She totally finds out it's Brian and is so happy he did that and those two and Lyf tend to the gardens consistently afterwards!

Dude!!! I really do love your writing so much............. shit talking like that about someone's art is just ridiculous to me. Cause even if you don't like it specifically if doesn't mean it's bad and you should trash it?? Idk probably shouldn't ramble about that just hate it when people dump on any artist's work like that it's so ridiculous... Also I don't like, out up with autistic stuff I fully vibe with any autistic stuff you think you do bc I'm pretty sure I'm autistic and trying to get a proper diagnosis for it atm. Anyways your writing is awesome as it is and the more you do it over time the better it'll get too!! Art is cool like that :) don't let anyone convince you otherwise either as long as you don't overwork yourself (not saying you've done that just noting it).

Also okay I have a few rambles about other stuff for this au too

I feel like there's needs to be more clarification on how or why Carmilla ends up at the castle? Firstly I assume the town is close to the castle but not immediately next to it? (Maybe a full day on horseback? I mean, when I watched the movie I was easily confused bc it seemed like Belle's father was gone a whole day before winding up there but everyone lese managed to talk there in less than a couple hours I think? Maybe it's cause he got lost and turned back weird tho. So maybe closer than I said.)

Carmilla seems, to me at least, to have wanted to avoid the castle, but living close by gives her the comfort of an easy return? (vs Nastya who I think got as far away as possible, for her safety and to travel wider, but mainly bc she knew if she stayed too close she might not be able to stay away.) Maybe she even regularly checks in on the castle in secret. Not enough to make any differences, but enough to note any possible chances (good or bad).

Maybe lost on her way to the inventor's thingy (<- could say routine check in - if she does those - but there's the thing with Brian gifting her the cane) (also Brian having a rose from the rose gardens earlier on before the story bc of one of her checks!!) she only finds her way again when stumbling across the castle. But something - fate, destiny, narrative flow - gets her caught by Jonny when snooping around on the grounds (either trying to get her bearings or find a safe place to wait out the night/possible storm or something). To Jonny, while he thinks Nastya directly cast the enchantment, he clearly considered that Nastya learned it from Carmilla somehow, indirectly or not. Also, I think he feels betrayal the she left. That with him finding her randomly wandering the grounds, he's pissed and grabs her and tosses her in a cell. While Carmilla could probably get her way out, she doesn't want to hurt Jonny or Aurora in the process, and almost plays dead just going along with Jonny. Maybe she'll find an easier way out when he's not looking- besides, Brian thinks she'll be gone for a few days, she has time (<- has no idea someone is gonna find her cane yet)

Jonny might even grill her about lifting the enchantment, and she explains again and again how it's impossible. He must break it in his own. (He doesn't like that answer.)

When Carmilla hears Brian's voice calling for her barely even a day later her heart fucking drops. He's not supposed to be here it's not safe. The whole exchange between Brian and Jonny happen so fast and Brian won't let her object- something deep inside her shifts, as the actual caster of the enchantment she knows. Brian might be Jonny's last hope. This sudden knowledge running deep in her core shocking her so terribly that by the time she's even got a chance to register it Jonny is already sending her away with "she's useless to me now, anyway." Everything is wrong and it hurts- she's never once felt as helpless as she has now.

Even possible that, frozen in indecision, shock, and all the realizations and magic relations could make her somewhat genuinely ill, making it harder for her to find her way back and motivating Brian to return to her. Considering he might stay up to one to three months before looking into the mirror, and seeing her downward spiral sends him out after her.

Still not as cleanly written out as I was hoping, but I just needed more clarification for Carmilla's castle stuff to kick off the plot so there's my toss in!

Also on a lighter note: there's that bit in the audiobook thing we're the enchantress turns Belle's sisters into sentient but immobile statues to be stuck forever watching their sisters joy and fortune they may not obtain. My only issue with that bit was, it sounds uncomfy for Belle knowing her sisters are there watching the whole time? Their vibes are so sour I feel like it'd be weird. But!! Imagine Carmilla doing that to some of the people most directly responsible for Brian's witch trial execution and then selling the statues to other towns. Just as like, as a neat little reference. Well, she either sells them, or keeps them all somewhere to smash up rage room style lmao. ("I wonder if you'll be aware of all of this, the whole time....")

I also brought up Fae Lyf stuff in that other post... I don't think I can get into the war details for them atm (trying to hurry this up cause I gotta go + am losing brain power) BUT i love wild Lyf, and Fae stuff is the perfect excuse/explanation for here.

Like, you know how Tim and Bertie has this aura of like, intense violence and menace? Lyf has an aura of ethereal wildness- it's calm and maintained for the most part, with Lyf's personality you might not even guess it. But being near them, you can feel a call to the forests. Their energy is like running around in the woods after a rain, still cloudy but everything is overgrown and deeply saturated a bright green, and moisture holds in the air curling your hair and filling your lungs with the smell of rain. You look into their eyes, close enough to reflect your face, but instead of your reflection you see the woods, and a stream running down the middle. There's a wild air to them, felt most intense as they tend to the garden (Lyf falls into a bit of a depression over being unable to during the curse). There's something so natural about them that it's unnatural- so of this world that they're not of this world at all. It's easy to picture their hair wild, full of leaves, running about barefoot in the woods, so full of energy and life and joy. Yet, here they are, a servant in a castle, subduing that part of them. Is it shame? Habit? Self preservation? Maybe they're not even sure why they do. Maybe if feels easier that way, even if it hurts...

Anyway hope that made sense but I really gotta get off soon so bye!!

Beauty and the Beast, but it's the Mechanisms.

Jonny must be the beast because feral Jonny and the whole heart thing... prove me wrong.

Tim or Brian is Belle.

Rest of the Mechs are the servants in the Beast's house. With an exception for Marius as Gaston cause I can totally fucking see it. He would suck at it though because it's Marius. And also, short Marius HC.

This is probably not new. But it's been brewing in my head for a good few months, ever since I put my Mechs OC in the iconic Belle dress.

[kaveuh]

hii , i was wondering if you write for comfort ? ^^ if you do, may i request a rinne and/or leo comforting their s/o who s/hs ? sorry if this is a heavy topic for you and youre free to ignore this request. but ty if you decide to write it ! have a great day ^^

"LET IT OUT, I'M HERE."

rinne amagi & leo tsukinaga (separate)

warnings : angst, hurt/comfort, sensitive topics (s/hs), mentions of panic attacks, reader gets anxious

author’s note — goofy ass title how do people come up with them. anyway, dw anon it’s all good, i don’t mind requests with heavy topics at all! (to an extent, at least) i will forever be a rinne is a green flag truther i dont care! he is my little boo boo bear 🔥

RINNE AMAGI !!

"[Name], my beloved~! Your incredibly handsome boyfriend is home!" The redhead was greeted with nothing but silence upon stepping foot inside your house. He thought, 'strange.' Rinne noticed that all your shoes were neatly placed on the rack, no doubt you were home. Maybe you're sleeping? No— it's way too early, and he knew that.

Rinne pouted, scratching the back of his head as he threw his stuff on the couch and proceeded to walk into your bedroom. "[Name]? Are you in the bathroom?" He knocked on the door once before he threw himself on the bed, exhausted from being out the whole entire day.

Despite this, he overheard a quiet 'shit' and a wince that came from the bathroom. A look for concern displayed all over Rinne's face, forcing himself to get up from comfortable bed.

"Don't come in! I'll be— ah, I'll be out in a second…" You tried to cover up your sniffles with water running in the background. Quickly gathering everything and cleaning yourself up, you opened the door, and was greeted by your tired boyfriend. "Have you eaten? I'll go heat up the leftovers." Rushing away from Rinne, you hastily made your way to the kitchen.

"…" Oh.

—

"Rinne! Come sit and eat, it's delicious~" You sighed happily, picking up your utensils as he quietly obliged. "Are you okay? You seem a bit down, love. It's weird when you're not—" You trailed off, panic and anxiety washing all over your whole entire body. Oh no, did I do something wrong? Was it my fault? Did he find out?

"[Name]," Rinne started, hesitating whether he should confront you about it or wait for you to tell him. But, he couldn't bear the fact that you were constantly hurting yourself. Why? Why are you hurting yourself? He sighed, locking his gaze towards you and your slightly trembling body.

You quickly placed your hands under the table, biting your inner cheek as you nervously looked at the floor while picking on the skin of your fingers.

"-o..rry…" You choked out a sob, failing to notice that your boyfriend was now kneeling down beside you, taking your hand in his. "Rinne… I'm so—" He quickly interrupts you with a shush, his gaze softening upon seeing your trembling hands and tears.

"You have nothing to apologize for, love." He reassured, caressing your hand with his thumb, carefully wiping your tears with his free one. "May I take a look at them?" Rinne spoke softly, his usual loud and eccentric persona replaced with a concerned, genuine and caring one. After he was given an ‘okay’ with a slight nod of your head, he carefully rolled up your sleeves, and almost teared up at the sight of fresh and old scars— some clean from today.

"Rinne, I—" You whimpered, feeling his soft touch on your arm. But it was comforting. "I didn't… want you to think of me differently, judge me, or think I'm… disgusting. I want to stop so badly, but—" You felt more tears threatening to come up, along with hiccups that interrupted your explanation. Your boyfriend shakes his head, comforting you with reassuring hushes.

"No, no. You're not disgusting, never. You're okay." Just like that, you could tell that he was being genuine— he wasn’t mocking you, nor was he doing this out of pity. He was genuinely concerned for your well-being. Thinking about it only made your breakdown worst, in a good way, this time.

"It'll be okay. Let's talk about this later, or whenever you're ready. For now, let it out. I'll be here, no matter what."

LEO TSUKINAGA !!

Leo is an analytical person. He’s type to eventually know if something is off about you, which is why he knew that you were struggling since the beginning of your relationship. He's extremely careful, and is more mindful of what he does or says when he's around you.

"Ucchu ~☆ Good morning, my dearest, how are you today?" Your eccentric boyfriend beamed, jumping around and clinging onto you as usual. "Let's go out on a date after practice! I haven't been hanging out with you since Sena keeps holding back~" He whined, glaring at the model, who was already growing impatient.

"Haha, of course. I'm not busy today, thankfully. And you shouldn’t keep your friend waiting, Leo-kun, it's rude!" Too busy with scolding your boyfriend, you hadn't notice your sleeves slightly rolling back, exposing… bruises and scars. Leo had caught a glance, and his mood slowly dropped. "Leo?" You called out, making him snap out of his thoughts.

Leo reveals a faux grin, forcing himself to act like he saw nothing. "I don't want to leave yet… but I'll see you later for our date! Sena might get mad at me and make me go home late again, so I'll get going." He says, leaving a quick peck on your cheek, running to Izumi afterwards.

—

You don't know what caused it. You came home, overwhelmed, and your first initial reaction was to breakdown and lock yourself in your room. It was like this all the time. You're supposed to be used to it. So why does it still hurt so much?

Quiet whimpers and sniffs filled in the room, completely forgetting about your promised date with Leo.

'I'm so useless.' 'Why can't I just stop?' 'This is pathetic.'

You didn't notice that your boyfriend had entered the house. Too engrossed in your thoughts to care. It was like you were alone, like how you always were. You were alone, all over again.

Knock, knock, knock.

You panicked. "L-Leo?" A hum could be heard from the other side of the door, followed by a soft thud. The panic made the overwhelming feeling increase, your breath quickening as you attempted to gather and hide your things.

"[Name], may I come in?" He didn't call you by a nickname. He seemed more… serious. As if he had already known what you were doing behind closed doors. "Please?" You gave in, slowly unlocking the door with your trembling hand and let him open the door.

Right in front of you, was Leo. Though, the smile that he usually wore was gone, replaced with a frown. He eventually brought you into a warm embrace, catching you by surprise. "I love you… s'much… so please, let me." His voice cracked, "Forget about going out. Let's stay home, and you can let it all out, 'kay?"