#i think i was like 12 or something at the time?

[muniimyg]

♡ 04: how you're lookin' at me, yeah, i know what that means and i'm obsessed

series m.list // taglist

note: a wild ride…. good luck y’all ,, THANKS FOR 1K 😻 my kitty is happy !!! hauwhahahahaa this part is lengthy so pls take a mfking SEAT. pls lmk what y’all think ,, send in asks 🫵 we’re headed towards the finale 💛 much wuv !!

warnings: tension/tampo vibes (whats that in english? lol) ,, male masturbation (jk gets himself off as he recalls oc slapping him) ,, jealousy (lots of it. like 90% of this part is filled with it) ,, oc has a hickey ,, angst ,, and a little mwaamwaaaa moment :')

//

life sucks. 

for jungkook, at least. 

it’s been almost a month since the incident, and you’ve done everything in your power to avoid him.

the memory of the fight—the words exchanged, the way he said your name—still lingers in the air between you like smoke, suffocating and inescapable.

at first, jungkook tried.

he texted you the next day and every day after that. his messages were hesitant and apologetic... and each one was left unanswered.

nerd [11:11PM]: ___, can we talk? sent nerd [11:28PM]: please? sent nerd [12:01AM]: i’m sorry. i mean it. sent nerd [12:03AM]: it wasn’t even like that. not with her.  sent nerd [1:09AM]: ik i’m gonna sound like a total douche no matter what so let me do it please sent nerd [1:15AM]: let me say sorry, let me fuck up, let me make it up to u sent nerd [2:01AM]: i really hate begging  sent nerd [2:01AM]: but i really hate u not wanting me even more seen

he did try to call though.

just once.

the ringtone barely lasted before he hung up, realizing how futile it was.

at one point, he showed up at your favorite coffee shop one afternoon. he sat alone by the window with an untouched drink, waiting. 

his eyes flicked to the door every time it opened, a glimmer of hope lighting his expression for a split second before fading when it wasn’t you.

after two hours, he left.

but now, almost four weeks later, jungkook has stopped trying (so hard).

it wasn’t a sudden decision, more of a gradual acceptance that whatever connection you’d shared—whatever you’d been to each other—was slipping through his fingers.

he told himself you needed time, that maybe this space was what you wanted, what you deserved. and so, he gave it to you.

he told himself it wasn’t the end. 

it couldn’t be.

he refuses for it to be. 

this is just… complicated. 

he gets that.

he's a smart guy after all!

but late at night, when the world was quiet and he was left alone with his thoughts, the weight of your absence pressed against his chest like an ache he couldn’t soothe. it... burns? it throbs in this aching rhythm that he can't quite figure the melody to.

jungkook thinks about the way you banter with him and how much it makes his day. how closely you sit next to him. how effortlessly you mesmerize him… 

how you flirted with him for a few days and now he's malfunctioning. how he spent the last month memorizing every detail of those days and can't get over it. he has convinced himself you're into him...  

like, remember how your fingers would brush his when you handed him something? that meant something, right? or how about the way you looked at him and tilted your head? shit, yeah.

that meant something.

fuck, the way you laugh and throw your head back and he gets a glance at your perfect neck—how he wants to leave kisses on it. how he… 

how he had you. 

for a moment, he really had you. 

under him, tangled, and messy. 

how he was so close to your lips. 

he should’ve kissed you. 

he should’ve locked the fucking door. 

he should’ve ran after you even more. 

but he didn’t…

and now? 

now you aren’t even around. 

he recalls what taehyung said to him night at the arcade. taehyung's words rub into his wound like salt. it stings. it makes him feel sick to his stomach and he just... get can't stomach it.

“she isn't gonna stick around forever... especially with all the shit you pull…”

there are no words to describe how incredibly helpless he feels.

if anything, he goes through circles in his mind; completely in disbelief he could fuck up this bad with you.

he hates that he can't think straight. he hates that he can't study properly. he hates that he stopped tutoring and even got in trouble with his profs for letting them down (they really counted on jungkook to help other students out).

he hates that he can't fucking breathe lately.

he can't sleep.

he can't eat.

jungkook hates the growing distance, but more than that, he hates how much it hurts.

he hates how much he wants to fix things even when he doesn’t know how. he just knows he wants to. god, fuck it—

fine. 

he hates how much he misses you.

but most of all, he hates that he was wrong. 

it was entirely his fault. 

jungkook hates it all.

by chance, you and jungkook run into each other. 

the scene is perfect.

it's the perfect set up to cry over when you get home—that is.

the rain starts just as you’re leaving the library, soft at first but quickly turning heavier. you don’t expect to see him—not here, not now—but there he is, standing under the awning of the café across the street, shaking out his umbrella. the door chimes as you step outside, and he looks up.

for a moment, neither of you move, caught in the heavy stillness of the moment.

jungkook freezes when he sees you. 

his eyes widen briefly, then soften into something cautious, hesitant. he tucks his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, fingers flexing nervously against the fabric as he steps forward.

“hey,” he says, his voice careful, like he’s offering a truce.

the sound of him makes your heart clench, the warmth in his tone threatening to undo you. but you don’t let it show. you nod once, lips pressed into a thin line, and move to step around him.

“wait—” his hand shoots out, not to grab you, just to stop you. his fingers hover midair, unsure if he even has the right to reach for you anymore. “___, please?”

the rain is falling harder now, pooling on the sidewalk and soaking into the edges of your shoes. you glance at him, taking in the way his hair clings to his forehead, the way his hoodie looks just a little too big on him, like he hasn’t been sleeping well or eating much.

“can you not pretend like this is a coincidence?” you ask quietly, refusing to meet his gaze. 

he stays silent. 

it wasn’t. 

truth be told, he’s been waiting outside for almost 45 minutes. he didn’t even know if you were at the library today�� he just had to wait and find out for himself. 

"do you have an umbrella?" he asks, breaking the silence. 

"what—"

"here." 

he cuts you off, pushing the umbrella toward you.

you blink, startled, as he places the handle firmly in your hand. your fingers wrap around it instinctively, the metal cool against your palm.

"jungkook—" you start, your voice faltering.

he shakes his head, stepping back into the rain without a word. the downpour hits him almost instantly, soaking through his hoodie as he shoves his hands into his pockets and starts walking away.

you stand there, the umbrella trembling in your grip, watching him go. the rain comes down harder, cascading off the awning above you, but you barely notice. your gaze stays locked on him—on the way his shoulders hunch against the storm, on the slow but steady steps that carry him farther and farther away.

something tightens in your chest. 

maybe it’s regret or maybe longing… but as his figure grows smaller and the storm swallows him—you feel it.

the warmth of his lingering presence and the chill of it all—

—of your favourite almost.

a few days later, jungkook finds his umbrella in his bedroom. 

he takes out his phone to send you a text, prepared to humiliate himself and to beg for a second of your attention. he’d trade all tonight’s focus for a moment of you.

just as he picks the umbrella up, he finds a note. 

___ told me to give it back to you. she says thanks (whore). ps: she said don’t text her. — taehyung

jungkook sighs. 

does he listen? 

obviously not. 

nerd [6:19PM]: don’t tell me what to do  nerd [6:20PM]: i hate this nerd [6:21PM]: u should’ve jus kept the umbrella. giving it back to taehyung and telling him to tell me not to text u is sick.  seen. nerd [6:22PM]: reply pls seen.  nerd [6:26PM]: fine. i’ll jus talk to myself  nerd [6:31PM]: i miss u sm i jerked off the other night thinking abt the way u slapped me  seen nerd [6:33PM]: come on, kitty  nerd [6:34PM]: promise to think abt me tn :(  nerd [6:35PM]: cos i’m gonna think abt u tn nerd [6:36PM]: ignore me if u want proof  typing…  nerd [6:37PM]: kitty? seen nerd [6:40PM]: fuck. nerd [6:41PM]: how do u get me so fucking hard thru text? maybe i jus miss u too much  nerd [6:42PM]: excited for my proof?  seen nerd [6:45PM]: ft?  seen nerd [6:46PM]: keep seenzoning me and i’ll cum typing... seen ___ has notifications silenced

but it's too late.

jungkook meant it.

he's sat on his gaming chair, cock heavy.

his phone is out with that group picture from the arcade (zoomed into you) as lewd thoughts of you fill his mind. jungkook runs his thumb across his tip, hissing at the way it feels over his slit. 

he flicks his wrists, gripping his dick with just enough pressure to grow the hardness. it’s already stiff and he can feel the need to cum—but he just can’t.

he can’t without thinking of you. 

so, his eyes flutter shut as his memories of you replay in his mind. 

from the way your lips winced when he ate you out—to the way that mini skirt looked on you that day. he thinks about the way you say his name; in any and every way. angry, teasingly, and desperately… he thinks about how pretty it sounds rolling off your tongue. 

how pretty you looked under him.

how good you smelt when he kissed your neck. 

how close you sat next to him—fingertips lingering... god, what he would do to be close to you again. 

jungkook thinks about the slap. 

how hard your palms hit his cheek and how angry you looked at him. despite the negativity surrounding the situation—he can’t help it. 

you looked so hot. 

it just… gets to him. 

before he knows it, his hand is covered in his sticky cum. 

he’s a loser—a nerd in your words. 

he always has been… and here he is; jerking himself off to the pretty girl he lost his chance with.

the night is supposed to be nothing special. 

for jungkook, it’s just another event for his precious marine conservation club—a fundraiser, a schmooze-fest for potential investors, and a chance to hand out awards to appease the donors. sure, he’s getting an award, but it doesn’t feel like much.

the room buzzes with polite conversation and clinking glasses. jungkook adjusts his tie for the hundredth time, barely paying attention to the speeches and presentations. he stands off to the side with the other club members, blending into the background until his name is called.

“jeon jungkook, for outstanding contributions to marine conservation and innovation. mr. jeon has been working towards innovative chemical solutions for marine conservation, focusing on sustainable practices to protect endangered species like dolphins, and developing eco-friendly alternatives to reduce their environmental impact.”

the applause is polite but hearty.

jungkook steps onto the stage, the spotlight hitting him square in the face. as he accepts the plaque, his gaze instinctively sweeps over the audience—and then it stops.

you’re here.

sitting with the guys, casually chatting like you belong there, like you haven’t been avoiding him for a month and a half (at this point).

his heart trips over itself. 

he’s not even sure if it’s relief or panic or something else entirely, but it rattles him. he forces his attention back to the microphone, holding the plaque in his slightly sweaty hands.

“uh, thank you,” he begins, his voice steady enough, though his pulse is anything but. “our club’s mission has always been to protect and preserve marine life through education, community projects, and outreach. with this award…”

his eyes flick back to you. 

you’re laughing at something taehyung just said, your smile bright, your whole demeanor light and carefree.

“…we want to focus on…”

he falters, the words slipping from his mind as his gaze lingers on you.

“…we want to focus on… f-focus…”

a ripple of laughter spreads through the audience. someone whistles playfully. he blinks, startled back into the moment.

“…focus on sustainable practices and expanding our projects,” he finishes, clearing his throat as heat rises to his cheeks.

you’re laughing too, your head tilted slightly as you join the others. it should make him feel worse, but somehow, seeing you like that—smiling, present—grounds him.

he powers through the rest of the speech, keeping his gaze firmly away from where you’re sitting. when it’s over, he accepts the handshake from the host and makes his way offstage, barely registering the applause.

as soon as the ceremony ends, jungkook doesn’t even think. 

he weaves through the crowd, ignoring congratulatory pats on the back and comments from investors, his eyes scanning for you.

how did you know about tonight?

wait. 

shit.

he’s been texting you every day with random ass updates. of course you know. he’s yapped about it… but why? why did you come? don’t you hate his guts?

you're here so... maybe you don't hate him as much as he has convinced himself you do.

jungkook finds you near the back with the friend group, holding a glass of champagne and listening to hoseok animatedly retell a story.

“congratulations,” you say lightly, lifting your glass in a mock toast. your words are casual, but there's an edge to them, a distance you've kept between the two of you for far too long.

his chest tightens at the awkwardness of your tone, but he nods, his hands slipping into his pockets. the space between you feels impossibly wide now, though only a few feet separate you.

“thanks,” he says, his voice quieter than he intended. “... thanks for coming.”

his gaze flickers to yours for a second before dropping to the floor, and he shifts, a little uncertain, taking a half-step closer.

hesitantly, you inch back. 

his presence is suddenly overwhelming, more than you’re ready for.

“yeah… of course,” you murmur, unsure how to navigate the new dynamic between you two. the tension is thick, but there's something else there too. an unspoken history. “what are friends for, you know?”

he hates that. 

friends. 

yeah fucking right.

jungkook tries to break the tension.

he takes a risk.

he takes a small step forward, hoping you don’t move. this is the closest he’s gotten to you in over a month—he needs this. it’s like euphoria in his veins—being with you again.

he needs this.

“how have you been?” he asks, the question coming out softer than he anticipated. jungkook scratches the back of his neck and continues. “a-are you coming to the afterparty?”

your lips part, a pause hanging between you.

you don’t want to admit how much you’ve missed this. how much you’ve missed him.

but the words slip out, more natural than you expect.

“yeah,” you say, giving him a brief but warm look. “i’ll be there.”

for a moment, your eyes lock, and something shifts. 

it’s like you’ve both forgotten all the walls, the space between you collapsing. he can feel his heart rate quicken, like his knees might give out, but he forces himself to stay grounded, to act nonchalant.

“cool,” he says, trying to brush off the sudden rush of emotions. “i’ll.. i’ll be there too.” he smiles, but it’s the kind of smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes—not yet, anyway.

“i sure hope so,” you laugh. “it’s your party, nerd.”

nerd. 

holy shit. 

never has he ever felt so relieved to hear you call him that. 

as he’s about to say more, taehyung appears out of nowhere, slapping his arm and giving him a congratulatory squeeze. 

“hey, man, nice speech. well deserved,” taehyung says, grinning like an idiot. “what did you want to focus on, again?”

you laugh while jungkook rolls his eyes. he shoves taehyung playfully. 

suddenly, you can’t help but feel the awkwardness settle back in, like something’s shifted again. you feel a pang in your chest as you turn toward the other people nearby, the ones you've been socializing with before jungkook showed up. the buzz of the conversation pulls you away, and you focus on the group, hoping to escape the overwhelming emotions that jungkook’s presence stirs.

jungkook watches you go, his eyes lingering as you slip away from the conversation. 

he can’t help it. 

you’re in his head again.

he looks over at taehyung, catching his eye. 

“hyung, is she coming to the dinner before the afterparty?” he asks, trying to sound casual. his voice betrays him, cracking with just the faintest hint of hope.

taehyung raises an eyebrow, taking a sip of his drink. 

“yeah. excited?”

“no.”

taehyung scoffs. “say that again but take away the lying.”

“fuck off.”

“___’s a good friend, man,” taehyung chuckles, redirecting the conversation. “you’re lucky. you just might be back in her good graces.”

jungkook’s heart skips a beat. 

“really?” he asks, trying not to sound too eager.

taehyung grins, leaning in a little. 

“yeah, but... she’s bringing her little boyfriend with her.”

you’re doing what?

jungkook feels the need to rub his eyes or something.

was taehyung shitting on him? boyfriend? when did this happen? no fucking way. 

jungkook refuses to believe it. 

… yet, the words hit jungkook like a punch to the gut. his breath catches, and his stomach tightens. 

"what?" his voice is barely a whisper, the weight of it settling in. 

"she didn't tell you?"

"we haven't been talking."

"rightfully so."

fuck. 

no. 

he doesn’t want to believe it, but the hurt is already seeping through.

taehyung shrugs, oblivious to the internal storm brewing in jungkook. 

“shit, well... yeah, she’s been seeing him for a while. dunno if they’re officially together, but… guess she’s really moving on. good for her, right? i mean, now you can really focus on just being her friend.”

the air stills. 

the reality of it all comes crashing down. jungkook’s heart sinks, his chest tightening in that all-too-familiar ache. 

that's why you’ve been busy... 

you’ve been moving on.

his fingers curl into fists, the anger bubbling up before he can suppress it. but he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t let his emotions spill out in front of taehyung, even though every part of him is screaming. 

“yeah,” he forces a smile. “i guess.”

as the night goes on, jungkook can’t shake the feeling that he’s lost something he can’t get back. something that’s slipping further away with every step you take, every laugh you share with someone else. and no matter how much he wants to fight for it, he’s afraid it’s already too late.

jungkook doesn’t want to go to dinner anymore.

he has no appetite.

jungkook is already at the dinner when you arrive. 

his mood is off, grumpy but with an undercurrent of sadness that he can’t quite shake. he’s forcing a smile when people congratulate him for the award, but it’s clear it’s not reaching his eyes. the night’s just been a blur of congratulations and polite smiles, but all he can think about who will walk in with you. 

does he know him?

is he gonna be some super cool prince charming?

does he know that jungkook was eating you out just a month ago? 

all valid questions…

however, you arrive a little late, and immediately his gaze searches for you in the crowd. when he sees you, his heart lurches. he spots you talking to someone, and the knot in his stomach tightens.

you make your way to the table, your eyes scanning it before you stop. for a moment, you aren’t sure where to sit. usually, you sit next to jungkook… but the spot is occupied by jimin. 

not by choice.

jungkook had saved the spot for you… you just came too late and he didn’t have it in him to tell jimin to move. but, jimin catches the milli-second exchanged look you have with jungkook and immediately shifts. 

“oh,” jimin begins. “shit, i forgot… didn’t know you were gonna show up so late—”

you chuckle, shaking your head. “it’s fine we’re gonna sit on the other side! by the way,” you pause and push the guy you came with forward. “this is do-hwan. he’s a biochem major and we have a few electives together… um, what else?” 

biochem?

serisouly?

do you have a thing for nerds or something? bro doesn't even look the part. he should be majoring in physics or something even more lame.

jungkook's thoughts cut short when he hears you giggling.

“hi,” do-hwan says with a grins at everyone. then, he turns and extends his hand to jungkook. “jungkook? shit, man. congrats on the award.”

he chuckles, giving jungkook a playful look. “organic chem, huh? i guess someone has to study the pretty side of chemistry.” 

what the fuck does that mean?

jungkook’s ears turn red. 

“yeah,” he grumbles under his breath. “nice to meet you too.”

with that, you and do-hwan make your way to the other side of the table. jungkook watches, his gaze hardening as you take a seat beside him.

he’s trying his best to stay calm and to not show it—not show how absolutely fucking mad this entire thing is.

this is ridiculous! 

his chest tightens painfully at the sight of you sitting with him. his fingers curl into his glass as he watches you laugh and chat with others, inserting do-hwan like you’re some proud girlfriend. 

you've probably known do-hwan like 10 seconds.

and jungkook can’t help it! every word you exchange with do-hwan makes him feel like he’s being crushed from the inside out. 

he’s trying to focus on the conversation happening around him, but his mind keeps wandering, drifting to you.

he watches as you lean in to talk to do-hwan, the way your eyes light up when you laugh at something he says. it’s the same laugh, the same warmth in your smile, but somehow it feels so much farther away from him now—like a memory that he’s trying to hold onto but can’t quite grasp.

he forces himself to look at the group again, but his gaze keeps slipping back to you. every word you exchange with do-hwan makes his chest tighten.

it's like he’s suffocating, and he can’t tear his eyes away. the way he moves so casually, his hand brushing against yours as he reaches for his drink. 

it’s too much.

it’s too familiar.

and then, as you turn your head to respond to someone else, he sees it.

just a flash of it—right there on your neck. 

a small hickey, barely visible, but it might as well be a brand. his heart stops for a beat. the sight burns in his chest, and before he can stop himself, his breath catches in his throat.

his stomach churns violently, a rush of heat flooding his veins. everything feels like it’s collapsing inward. the noise around him fades, and all he can hear is the pounding of his own heartbeat. the world shrinks, and the weight of the jealousy hits him like a truck.

he can’t stay here. 

not like this. 

not with this tightness in his chest, not with the ache in his stomach. the room feels like it’s closing in on him, and he knows—he knows he has to get out.

without a word, he stands abruptly, pushing his chair back. his heart races as he excuses himself from the table, slipping away into the hallway outside the main dining area.

the rest of the table doesn’t seem to notice his sudden departure, but your friends quickly start murmuring, and one of them nudges you. 

"you should probably go check on him," taehyung says, giving you an almost knowing look. “i told you not to bring him.”

you hesitate for a second, then stand, glancing at do-hwan.

“it’s not do-hwan's fault.”

taehyung rolls his eyes at you. 

“you’re playing it kinda mean tonight though,” he tells you. “jungkook’s been miserable. sure he deserves to be dragged through mud for whatever happened and for whatever he said, but this? on his night? i don’t know ___…”

you gulp.

maybe taehyung is right.

but you didn’t intend for it to be like this. you genuinely brought a friend you’ve been spending time with! and, sure… yeah. you’ve been kissing him for a few weeks now, but so what? jungkook has probably been fucking every student he’s been tutoring so why the fuck does this matter?

“___…” taehyung urges you. 

“yeah, yeah… i’m going.” 

you wave taehyung off as you get up from your seat. you excuse yourself and let do-hwan know you’ll be right back.

you find jungkook outside. 

he stands with his back pressed against the cool metal of his car, arms crossed loosely over his chest. you notice that his posture is stiff... like he’s trying to keep himself grounded, but his shoulders still carry the weight of what he’s just seen.

his jaw clenches every so often, like he’s holding something back, but when his muscles tense, it’s almost as if the anger or hurt inside him is too much to contain.

as you walk towards him and he notices you. he runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends, clearly agitated. he lets out a slow, shaky breath, his eyes cast down toward the ground as if trying to collect his thoughts. he shakes his head slightly, as if to shake off the frustration that has settled in his chest, but it doesn’t seem to help. 

then, he looks up at the sky, his gaze distant, unfocused, lost in the swirl of thoughts that seem to chase him in circles. his arms drop to his sides for a moment, his fingers flexing and unflexing like he’s trying to release the tension that has built up in his body.

after a long pause, he lets out a frustrated sigh, raking his hand through his hair again, this time pushing it back as he exhales sharply.

his whole stance is restless.

it’s like he can’t quite settle his thoughts or his body, caught between what he feels and the reality of what’s happening. 

he’s trapped in his own head, unable to escape the weight of the situation.

by now, you’re next to him.

are you here to set him free?

“so… have the dolphins ever thanked you for your hard work?” you ask, trying to break both the silence and tension with your light tone. “you do so much for them… ungrateful little brats—you know they’re psychos right? they bully—”

he doesn’t turn around. 

“what’s on your neck?” he asks. “did your boyfriend do that?”

your chest hurts at his words. “he’s not... he’s not my boyfriend.” you swallow, trying to keep your voice steady. “he’s just a friend.”

there’s a long pause, and when he finally turns to face you, his eyes are a mixture of frustration and hurt. 

“the same kind of friend i am to you?”

he’s trying to sound nonchalant, but there’s a tremor in his voice.

you shake your head, not knowing how to explain, not knowing how to make him understand.

“you know what? i didn’t come here to make you feel like this…” your voice cracks slightly. “i didn’t... i don’t want to hurt you. i didn’t want to come.”

he scoffs bitterly.

“maybe you shouldn’t have.”

his words sting, but you can’t back down. 

“what do you want me to do?” you ask, frustrated. “if i didn’t show up, you’d be upset and blow up my phone. now that i’m here, you’re still upset—”

“and this is how you chose to show up?” jungkook raises his voice, turning to you. he steps forward, towering over you. he brings his hands to your hair, pushing it back and leaning in to look at your hickey properly. 

he squints. 

“are you proud of this?” he hisses. “fucking bug bite bullshit.”

“stop—” you snap, cutting him off now. “don’t—”

“okay. sorry, fuck..."

a beat.

"___, i miss you,” he breathes. “i just… shit. can you stay still for a second?”

there’s a long silence between you two, the air thick with things unsaid. jungkook looks like he’s about to say something, but his mouth closes, his frustration evident in the way he grits his teeth. 

instead, he just breathes you in. 

for the first time in a month and a half; jungkook can breathe.

then, he steps away and sighs. 

“think i’m gonna head home first. i… i need some space or something,” jungkook tells you. “let them know for me?”

“y-yeah. sure.”

“okay,” jungkook nods. “i’ll see you later.”

“see you.”

for the first time in a while, jungkook offers you a smile and you return it. 

short and sweet—he takes it. 

he leaves and thinks about it the entire drive home.

when you arrive at the party, you’re still reeling from the brief exchange with jungkook. 

your thoughts are completely a tangled mess. 

from the words he didn’t say to the way his eyes held that edge of something unspoken—it all lingers in your mind like an unsolved puzzle. you thought you had it all figured out…

that you could be fine.

that you could move on—but now, after that moment, you’re not so sure anymore. 

your heart races in a way that you can’t explain. why does it feel like you’re standing on the edge of something—something big, something scary—and yet, you're not sure if you want to fall or pull back?

your mind keeps returning to the way he looked at you, like he was caught between wanting to say everything and nothing at all. it’s not a feeling you can shake off easily.

it’s heavier than you thought it would be.

at the party, you try your best to focus on the people around you. do-hwan is by your side, chatting casually with a few people, most of them strangers to you. some faces are familiar—people from jungkook’s marine conservation club, and others... just people. 

you make your rounds, greeting them politely, exchanging pleasantries, but your thoughts are still drifting back to him. to jungkook. the air is thick with anticipation, and no matter how much you try to focus on the conversations happening around you, your mind keeps wandering.

and then, there he is.

jungkook is standing by the drink table, his posture relaxed but not at ease. 

his gaze flicks to you for a moment, a brief flicker of something—maybe surprise, maybe something more—before he meets your eyes. there’s a tense, palpable moment of silence.

he’s holding a red cup in one hand, his fingers wrapped loosely around it. his other hand rests in his pocket, but his stance is still too rigid... too guarded.

it’s like he’s waiting for something to happen, for you to do something.

he doesn’t smile. 

he just nods at you. 

a small, deliberate movement that somehow feels too formal, too distant.

no words.

just acknowledgment.

you feel the knot tighten in your stomach, the nervous energy in your chest quickening. it’s the simplest thing, but it feels loaded with so much more.

you can’t look away. 

something inside you is aching to go over, to close the space between you, to ask if everything’s okay, to say something—but you're frozen. the tension in the air between you is thick enough to suffocate.

you swallow hard, trying to calm the unease building in your chest, but it's no use.

the silence stretches out, heavy and thick, as you stand there, caught between the desire to run or to take a step closer, not sure if you're brave enough for either.

you take a step back, trying to break eye contact, when suddenly, someone bumps into you from behind. you stumble forward, your feet catching on the edge of a rug, and you let out a startled breath as you lose your balance.

before you can fully fall, a strong hand grips your wrist, pulling you back against something solid. your breath catches as you feel the warmth of someone’s body close to you.

it’s jungkook.

without a word, his other hand slides around your waist, steadying you, his fingers briefly pressing against the fabric of your shirt. the contact is brief but grounding, like the world, slows for a moment, just the two of you, suspended in time.

he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t offer the usual reassuring words. 

his grip is firm, and steady, but he doesn’t linger. as quickly as it happens, he pulls away, his hand leaving your waist just as the tension between you starts to build.

you open your mouth to say something, maybe a thank you, but before the words leave your lips, he’s already moving away, stepping back with that familiar, unreadable expression.

you stand there. 

you’re frozen for a beat longer than necessary. your chest tight as you try to catch your breath… his sudden departure stings more than you care to admit. there’s no time for you to process what just happened, what that touch meant—or didn't mean—before he vanishes back into the crowd.

fuck.

the night only gets louder as more people flood into the house. 

the music thrums through the walls, bass-heavy and relentless, blending with the clatter of cups and the hum of overlapping conversations.

you weave through the crowd, the heat of so many bodies pressed together almost suffocating. your heart races—not from the chaos around you but from the weight of the unspoken tension that’s followed you since you walked in.

you couldn’t bring yourself to drink, though do-hwan had handed you a cup earlier. 

it’s long forgotten somewhere, left behind on a table. you’re too afraid of what a single drink might loosen in you—afraid of saying or doing something you’re not ready for.

you don’t want to make worse what already feels so broken.

“hey.” do-hwan’s voice cuts through the noise, his hand resting lightly on your arm. he pulls you aside to a quieter corner of the room, away from the crush of people. “you okay?”

you nod, a small, uncertain smile tugging at your lips. “yeah. just... a little overwhelmed, i guess.”

he watches you closely, his expression softening as if he’s trying to read between the lines. “you sure? you’ve been kind of quiet tonight.”

“i’m fine, really.”

“you don’t have to be,” he says, and it’s the way he says it—gentle, almost understanding—that makes you crack a real smile. “pretty sure jungkook hates me. pretty sure he’s killed me 10 times in his head in the past hour or so… and he knows all the organic chem shit to make it a really clean murder, you know? “

you let out a weak laugh, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. 

he grins at the sight, his confidence blooming as he leans in closer, his shoulder brushing against yours. 

“there it is,” he says playfully. “i was starting to think you didn’t know how to smile anymore.”

you laugh softly despite yourself, and his grin widens. 

do-hwan then dips his head lower as he talks, his voice dropping slightly, as if the two of you are sharing a secret. it’s intimate in a way that makes your cheeks flush, his proximity unnerving. his eyes flick to yours, and he leans in just a little more.

across the room, jungkook sees everything. 

is it hot in here?

because fuck, he’s burning up.

actually, the entire house is on fire in his mind. 

he’s been watching you for most of the night, though he pretends not to be.

the way do-hwan hovers near you, the way you laugh at something he says—it feels like a punch to the chest. every small interaction between you two is a reminder of what he’s lost, of what he could’ve had if he’d been braver, better.

his grip on his cup tightens, his knuckles white against the red plastic. he can’t hear what you’re saying, but he doesn’t need to. the way do-hwan leans closer, the way his hand brushes your arm—it’s enough to make jealousy coil hot and bitter in jungkook’s stomach. it burns through him, unbearable, as he watches do-hwan dip his head lower, his lips so close to yours.

and then something inside him snaps.

fuck it. 

before he knows it, he’s moving through the crowd, his feet carrying him faster than his mind can keep up. his hand reaches out, fingers wrapping firmly around your wrist just as do-hwan’s face nears yours. you barely have time to process the sudden motion before you’re being yanked back, stumbling slightly into jungkook’s chest.

“what the hell?” do-hwan says, his tone sharp, but jungkook doesn’t even look at him. his focus is entirely on you, his jaw tight and eyes dark with something unreadable.

your breath catches, your heart hammering in your chest as you look up at him, startled. 

“jungkook—”

he doesn’t let you finish. 

his hand wraps firmly around your wrist, and before you can process what’s happening, he’s pulling you away. his grip is steady but not rough, a silent insistence that leaves no room for argument.

“jungkook, wait—” you try again, glancing back at do-hwan, whose confused expression barely registers in the rush of your heartbeat.

jungkook doesn’t look back, his jaw tight and his steps purposeful as he weaves through the crowd, his hand never leaving yours. the air around you feels heavy, the muffled music and chatter blurring into white noise as he leads you up the stairs.

your pulse thrums in your ears as he pushes open a door and pulls you inside, closing it behind you with a quiet but final click. the sudden silence of the room contrasts sharply with the chaos outside, and for a moment, you can only stare at him, your chest rising and falling as you catch your breath.

he finally lets go of your wrist, his hand lingering for a split second longer than necessary before he steps back. his gaze is dark, unreadable, but the tension radiating off him is palpable. the weight of the moment presses down on you, thick and suffocating, as you wait for him to speak.

a moment passes.

then, another.

and another.

and another.

and then—

“dump him.” 

you clearly your throat.

“can’t dump him. he’s not my boyfriend—“

“you and your fucking situationships.”

you gulp.

you hate the way he says it.

situationship… fuck him.

the room feels smaller than it is, the air thick with the weight of the moment. jungkook’s jaw ticks as he stares at you, the sharpness in his voice cutting through the silence.

“you’re… fucking with me, right?” he spits out, his tone teetering between disbelief and frustration. “you can’t be fucking real right now. you were just—”

“i was just what?” you snap, your glare matching his. “no fair, jungkook. i got to hear you fuck some girl, but you don’t want to watch me kiss—”

“did i ask you to?” he cuts in, his voice rising.

“no,” you huff, crossing your arms. “but what are you asking from me right now? huh? jungkook… i don’t understand you—”

“what do you think i’m asking?” his voice lowers, but the intensity behind it doesn’t waver. he steps closer, his presence almost suffocating. “you’re always trying to act like this doesn’t matter. like i don’t matter.”

“maybe it doesn’t,” you challenge, even though the words taste bitter on your tongue.

jungkook laughs, but it’s humorless, sharp. 

“yeah, sure. that’s why you still give a fuck about me fucking—”

you snap. “don’t tell me her name.”

“what?” jungkook grumbles. “is that it? you get to parade around, yelling his fucking name and announcing it to the entire fucking world but i don’t get to tell you about the girl that came onto me for months? do-hwan biochem this, do-hwan that—do-hwan kiss me! is that it?"

"jungkook—"

"fuck, ___... listen to me, okay? let me tell you what i've been rehearsing for the past month and a half.... the girl i declined over and over again and fucked a total of 3 times because i was thinking with my dick is done. okay? if you’re trying to tell me that i fucked up—fine. yeah. i fucked up. but i meant it when i said it’s not what it looked like. ___, it wasn't like that. she spread shit about me being a good tutor and twisted it. how the fuck do you think i feel about myself? how the fuck do you think i feel about you seeing it differently—seeing me differently?”

your throat tightens, and you look away, desperate for a moment to compose yourself. 

“jungkook—”

“tell me how to fix it,” he cries, his frustration spilling over. “tell me what you want, because i’ll do it. i’ll stop tutoring if that’s what you want. fuck, i already did to be honest with you.”

you glance up at him, startled.

“why? that’s not going to change anything.”

“but i have to try…” his voice cracks, and he runs a hand through his hair, his exasperation evident. “i’ll give up anything—whatever it takes. just tell me what you need, and i’ll do it. want me to stop wearing ugly ass shirts? fine. want me to stop saving the dolphins you hate so much—”

“i don’t hate dolphins—”

“you’re scared of them.”

your eyes soften. 

“how’d you know—”

“it’s obvious,” jungkook breathes. “the same way it’s obvious you’re scared of this.”

this...

what even is this?

the silence that follows is deafening. you don’t say anything, and the tension between you stretches taut, threatening to snap. his chest rises and falls heavily, his eyes searching yours, desperate for something you’re not sure you can give him.

he takes another step closer, his proximity making it impossible to think straight.

“say something,” he pleads, his voice barely above a whisper now.

but you can’t.

you don’t trust your voice, don’t trust yourself not to break under the weight of it all. so you stay quiet, the space between you charged with everything unsaid.

the weight of unsaid words and unresolved feelings pressing down on both of you. you take a step back, trying to create some space to breathe, but jungkook mirrors you, closing the distance effortlessly.

then, you look around his room for some kind of break… but it backfires as your eyes meet a plushie, laying on his bed.

hello kitty.

“what’s that?” you ask a little shyly.

jungkook turns his head, feeling a little embarrassed at what you’ve seen.

“what do you think it is?” jungkook asks gently. "___... i... i can't do it. i'm sorry, i can't..."

"can't what?"

"i can't want you," he confesses. "i can't want you when i need you that bad."

he points at the plushie and sighs. "fuck, do you know how stupid that fucking claw machine made me feel? i spent like 1 or 2—"

"hours?" your eyes widen.

he shakes his head. "hundred."

hundred.

you stay silent.

"i'm sorry, ___... for everything. i'm a shithead. i'm mean and inconsiderate. i'm a waste of time—i know... but i want you to know that... everything about my life feels so weird without you in it. the past month and half has been absolute hell. it's like... if you're not around, all i do is think about you and it fucks with me. i wonder what you're eating, who you're with, and what you're going to do next... i get excited when you seenzone me. i feel like i can finally breathe when you're near. i don't know what you did and what fucking pavlov doggy shit experiment you did on me—but fuck. woof woof. whatever you want, ___. seriously."

then, you do what you fear.

you give in.

“how am i supposed to trust you,” you start, your voice shaky but firm, “when you’re not even a good friend? you’re always so mean to me, jungkook. think about it… when have we ever been good friends?”

he scoffs, the corner of his mouth twisting into a bitter smile. 

“maybe it’s because i don’t want to be your friend.”

the words hit you like a slap, your breath catching in your throat. 

“what if i want you to be?” 

his eyes search yours, as if trying to figure out if you’re serious. 

“really?” he asks, his voice dropping lower, softer.

“really.”

his gaze flickers down to your lips, then back to your eyes, and his voice drops even lower, a dangerous edge creeping into it. 

you can feel it… you can feel it about to happen. 

“even when i’m about to do this?”

before you can process his words, his hand moves to your waist, fingers curling around you in a way that sends a shiver down your spine. he pulls you closer, the heat of his touch searing through the fabric of your clothes.

his lips find yours in a kiss that’s as sudden as it is inevitable. 

it’s not gentle—it’s firm, deliberate, and entirely consuming. his other hand comes up to cradle your jaw, tilting your head just enough to deepen the kiss. your hands instinctively reach for his shoulders, gripping him as if to steady yourself against the storm he’s unleashing.

when he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, both of you breathing hard. the air between you feels different now—heavier, laden with something you can’t quite name but can’t deny.

when jungkook finally pulls away, the world feels quieter, as though it’s holding its breath. his hand slides up, brushing a loose strand of hair from your face, and he looks at you softly, his dark eyes searching yours. the tender gesture sends a fresh wave of confusion—and longing—coursing through you.

“bad friend,” you scold him in a whisper.

his lips twitch, a soft laugh escaping him as his thumb grazes your cheek.

“don’t do that,” he says, his voice low, almost pleading. 

you raise a brow at him. "do what?"

"don’t friendzone me.”

“why not?” 

“i just kissed you.”

“so?”

“so?” he mimics, his tone teasing, but there’s a sharpness in his voice that makes you squirm. his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. 

“kitty,” he murmurs, his voice dropping to a rough whisper, “i’m gonna be impossible to get rid of now."

[tpwrtrmnky]

invaders

[ID: Thirteen panel comic with crudely drawn stick people divided across four images.

Panel 1: A blue person with pointy ears on top of their square head watches two grayscale stick people argue.

Grayscale 1: "Hah, you fool! Nobody actually thinks they're blue, we're just being polite because they look blue enough!"

Grayscale 2: "You admit it openly! You admit the lies of chroma ideology, greenie!"

Grayscale 1: "Owned again! I am not green!"

Panel 2: A reddish-orange person talks to another grayscale person while Blue watches dejectedly.

Reddish-orange: "I mean back in my day we were content with just getting to be primary colors, but now that they're also asking for us to be treated like fully worthwhile people rather than freaks? I think the chromatic movement's gone too far."

Grayscale: "Wow! A reasonable one!"

R.O.: "Yeah I'm one of the good ones. Will you respect me for it?"

Grayscale: "Haha no, but I'll exploit you as long as you're useful to me!"

Panel 3: A grayscale person approaches blue from behind.

Grayscale: "Hey why do you have to go all the way to being an entire blue dog person? Can't you just be a normal person who pees outside?"

Blue, in narration: "And so, on that day, I finally accepted that it was time to leave."

Panel 4: The blue dogperson is now in a more deliberately rendered room with beige walls, kneeling and wearing sunglasses. An orange dogperson is laying on the floor next to them.

Blue: "I… We only wanted to be left alone. But even this place isn't safe from them anymore."

Orange: "Why is it so bad to have to deal with people who disagree with us?"

Panel 5: Blue looks dejectedly, with dramatic shadows across their face.

Blue: "This is why you've yet to earn our trust, Orangepup Dogsaturated. You fail to distinguish between legitimate debate and thinly veiled harassment."

Panel 6: The Most Illiterate Person Alive, a grayscale stick person riddled with still-bleeding bullet wounds, looms ominously at the outskirts of a nearby forest.

Blue, narrating: "As for that thing… Far from a person with legitimate views to debate, I have doubts regarding whether it is even a person."

Illiterate: "I am… the most… ill…itt…er…ate….. person…. alive….."

Panel 7: The most illiterate person alive leans down, breathing heavily. The dialogue is just "h" over and over.

Panel 8: Indoors, a hot pink person with fluffy fur is talking into a walkie-talkie, and an onyx-colored person is aiming a sniper rifle out the window.

Hot Pink: "Comrades! There's movement again! They're up to something!"

Panel 9: The most illiterate person alive leans back, screaming: "Holy fucking shitfuck"

Panel 10: A dramatic zoom out shows more of the forest as the most illiterate person alive screams: "I can't fucking believe these dogpeople want to make everywhere a public bathroom!"

Panel 11: A view of the dog people's barn from within the dark depths of the woods, where grayscale people are lurking. The most illiterate person alive is continuing to scream: "They hate supply chains for lifesaving medicine! They want to force everyone to be green and worship Barxism!"

Panel 12: A view of the sky with a mountain in the distance. A large number of voices with increasing frequency and intensity say "Holy shit" over and over.

Panel 13: Out of the woods a swarm of grayscale people emerge, using a variety of creative approaches to movement, screaming:

"I have some concerns!" "Would you like to debate this issue?" "You need a healthy debate climate!" "You should hear out opposing viewpoints!" "Stop censoring me"

The comic ends at this and you are left questioning what the fuck that was.

End ID.]

Start - Previous - Next

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

big question. i'm cis (afab) and my gf is trans (amab) and i'm sorta having a hard time reconciling something. i've been a hard line feminist since i was about 8, by 12 i was a practical library on everything and anything womens lib. i'm spending a lot more time around trans people especially my gf now and i'm sorta struggling to reconcile the trans experience with my feminism. like- i'll see trans women being like "i hate my body :(" "my voice is awful" "i need [x thing to try to pass] ugh" and like my first thought is always "NO! THATS HOW THEY FUCKING GET YOU!!! THE PATRIARCHY WANTS YOU TO HATE YOURSELF SO YOU ENSLAVE YOURSELF TO CAPITALISM AND LIVE IN A CONSTANT STATE OF NEED FOR NEW PRODUCTS TO WARD OFF THE EVER PRESENT SELF HATRED BROUGHT ON YOU BY SOCIETY" and they go "well then how do i pass/transition?" and i honestly don't know and i also don't know how far it goes before its no longer dysphoria but instead the intentional subjugation of women by patriarchy for profit. i wanna help my fellow ladies but i honestly don't know how to like- apply the feminism i was taught as a child to trans women and i want to learn as soon as possible so that i can start doing it like yesterday

hi there,

I'll be honest: if it feels hard to apply the feminism you learned as a kid to your trans friends, that's probably because the feminism you were taught didn't have trans woman in mind.

luckily, the answer to this is something that I consider to be feminism 101: what a woman does with her body is, ultimately, her fucking business.

listen: I agree with you that the beauty industry(TM) is evil. it's misogynistic, it's exploitative, it thrives by making women feel bad enough about themselves to make them spend money on shit they don't need, etc. we all know this.

now, having said that: women who like makeup or wear heels or get laser hair removal or whatever other asinine thing are not my oppressor, nor are they my enemy. dare I say, we have bigger problems.

we also need to consider that many trans women are coming to these choices from a VERY different place than many cis women are. while I think my fellow cis women really benefit from reminders that they're allowed to stop shaving or wearing eyeliner or dieting or whatever, that's because most of us have had those actions forced on us from very young ages and may genuinely need a hand to feel secure breaking out of those behaviors.

the majority of trans women are not coming from a background where they were encouraged to partake in the same personal grooming habits and modes of presentation as cis women; many of them have, in fact, been ostracized, bullied, threatened, and otherwise hurt because of forays into forms of presentation that are considered feminine. no matter how good your intentions may be, approaching your advice indelicately can, unfortunately, make you come across as no different than any transphobe on the street trying to enforce cisnormative societal expectations. it also must be said that, for many trans women, the ability to "pass" is a matter of security - for having their status as women recognized at all, and to avoid harassment and abuse in public spaces. if you live in America, like I do, politicians in power currently have an extremely explicit anti-trans agenda that can make it harrowing to be visible as a trans person, and trans women in particular are frequently targeted for violence.

there are absolutely critiques to be made the way the many trans women are expected to perform hyperfemininity. the notion that someone is duty bound to drastically change their appearance in order to transition at all is itself extremely rooted in cisnormativity, and "passing" is often contingent on being young, thin, able-bodied, reasonably wealthy, and hewing as closely to Eurocentric standards of beauty as possible. that's not awesome! but that's also not the fault of any individual; no trans person asked to be born into a world where gender norms are so narrow and failing to pass can come with a very real risk of physical danger.

also, if I can circle back to this: again, women who participate in aspects of the beauty industry are not our enemies. there are always going to be some number of women who enjoy doing their makeup or like spending time fussing over their little outfits or want breast implants or whatever. some of those women are going to be trans. my official feminist stance on this is that I don't give a shit, because I believe in bodily autonomy even when it involves things I would not do personally and the choices that individual women make about how they want to style their little meat body don't even crack the top 100 things that I'm worried about right now. it's actually kind of vitally important, politically, that trans people be able to safely pursue their preferred gender expression; while it's not particularly revolutionary for a cis woman to go outside all dolled up, whether a trans woman can do that safely is a pretty basic litmus test for how safe a given space is for queer people. it's a ridiculously low bar, and many places will still fail to clear it.

so, yeah, I don't know, dude. be there to talk to your trans girlies if they want to start unpacking some of the pressure they feel to conform to a very rigid idea of womanhood, but whether or not they can walk down the street in your neighborhood safely is a WAY bigger issue than whether they decide to do voice training or not.

if you really want to cut to the root of the insecurity and vulnerability that the beauty industry thrives on exploiting, your time is much better spent working to ensure the trans women in your life feel safe and supported and have a community where they can find support regardless of how they look.

necessary disclaimer I'm a cis girl, any transfemme folks please share your voice here and feel free to clap my ass if I've said something out of line.

[bcbryar]

Text from Tom's music video:

TommyInnit just posted a song and a video, and in the video there's a bunch of quick, flashing screens with text. I screenshotted them all and transcribed them in this post (below the cut because it's kind of long).

If you find a corner of this world wide web that has any substance at all, then please stick to it. The hundreds of millions of people that now place absolutely no value on their time, their precious time, and spend it watching soulless content designed to hold their attention is depressing. This all depressed me. There is so little substance in this mess of a world wide web. So little heart or soul or love. If you find any substance, stick to it.

A Tribute To Minecraft, The Great Potato War, TheOriginalAce's Q&A's, Ludwig's 2020 streams, SMPLive Talent Show. This was everything to me.

Status is irrational & nature is cyclical It's attention porn. Don't get addicted to it. It's nothing. It means nothing. They are more insecure than you. But what the fuck do I know?

When I was a boy, alone, this meant everything to me. I found my people. My place. Along the way I was a part of something that really meant something. That is the only good bit. Whatever I did that meant something, that is the only good bit.

I CAN'T WATCH BACK MY OLD VIDEOS BECAUSE EVERYONE IN THEM WASN'T WHO THEY SAID THEY WERE. DO YOU KNOW HOW SAD THIS MAKES ME FEEL. DO YOU KNOW HOW SAD I HAVE FELT ALL YEAR.

HOW COULD ANYONE POSSIBLY FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE WHEN YOU ARE ALL IMMERSED IN THIS NEEDLESS, SELF INDULGENT SPIRAL OF INSTANT GRATIFICATION AND DISTRACTION. THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

[Text is upside down in the video] I don't think I trust anyone here. I don't think anyone trusts anyone here. the poor 12 year old watching this sad ass video when he subscribed for funny minecraft videos. poor guy lmao.

yeah i know it's too much like bo burnham. It won't be in a year though. IN a year it will be like Tom Simons. Just let me figure out what that means, OK?

I used to feel like I was just doing everything wrong. That I just wasn't smart or good like any of my friends. I realise now I was the only one doing the right thing. I just wanted to have fun. What I'd do to get that back, my god. What I'd do. To have things be simple again.

I just don't want to slip back into who I was. A year ago I needed you. A year ago most of my self esteem and worth and love came from you. A year ago I wasn't happy unless you were. I don't think I can ever do that again. That really was wrong. How did I possibly end up there?

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

PART 4

"July 1, 2013: 

Cross on hand (Harry) - NYC [Harry's 42th tattoo]

August 9, 2013:

Tic-Tac-Toe board (Louis) - FN [Louis' 25th tattoo]

Band with card suites (Louis) - FN [Louis' 26th tattoo]

Bus 1 (Louis) - FN [Louis' 27th tattoo]

Meta: Louis went to the tattoo parlor very late Friday night/very early Saturday morning (August 9/10). He went with Eleanor, Zayn, Liam, Liam’s mother and several other people. Zayn also has the “Bus 1” tattoo (as does their bus driver).  It is interesting to note that the heart on the band may be turned toward Louis intentionally as the club and spade face outward. The diamond makes it difficult to tell.

September 10, 2013*:

Rose Tattoo (Harry) - Unknown L.A. [Harry's 43rd tattoo]

October 11, 2013:

Pacman Tattoo (Louis) - Unknown Auckland, NZ [Louis' 28th tattoo]

October 26, 2013*:

Spider web (Louis) - Unknown [Louis' 29th tattoo]

January 11, 2014*: 

Anchor (Harry) - Unknown L.A. [Harry's 44th tattoo]

Meta: [Just with the 2 swallows he got on November 8, 2012, which covered up his "LOVE banner", the anchor was Harry's 2nd cover-up. It now covers his "I CAN'T CHANGE..." tattoo (his 5th, first seen on July 27, 2012), which many suspect he got in place of the tattered Leeds Festival 2011 bracelet. (He went to Leeds 2011 festival with Louis and still wore the festival bracelet until long after)]

The anchor is yet another tattoo from this website [link no longer active], which is nothing definitive but something to file away because wow, that’s a lot of tattoos coming from the same website that Harry & Louis both have.

Most anchor tattoos are done with a rope, but Harry’s doesn’t have a rope. Guess who has a rope... In the same mirrored position on the opposite wrist. Yes. This is real life.

To add insult to injury, the first time we saw Louis in England in 2014 was miraculously the same day we first saw Harry with the anchor tattoo (there is cause to believe Louis was in LA the previous week).

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, Louis showed up in England wearing a shirt with a giant anchor on it (much like when he wore the “it is what it is” shirt after he got that tattoo in 2013, but before we could tell what the tattoo said).

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHY.

And here is more meta on how the "It is what it is" and the butterfly were 2 designs from the same flash design sheet by Liam Sparkes:

January 16, 2014*: 

Holy Bible/Book (Harry) - Unknown L.A. [Harry's 45th tattoo]

[Meta: This is Harry's 3rd cover up, covering his "Things I can't", which we had first seen on October 12, 2012. It's interesting that the "can't" was still left somewhat visible.]

February 18, 2014:

Anatomical heart (Harry) - LS [Harry's 46th tattoo]

[Meta: It's interesting to note that the heart is mirrored, as if it's not his own heart, but the heart of someone he's embracing/standing opposite him.]

Laurels (Harry) - LS [Harry's 47th tattoo]

Meta: [This is Harry's 4th cover up, covering up his "Might as well..." tattoo which we had seen first on October 18, 2012.]

I put the laurels here on the same day as the anatomical heart, because we know Harry was at Liam’s shop that day and got the heart.  Liam recently posted this image on his instagram of laurels he did..

..and they are very similar to Harry’s design, as well. I think it’s most likely Harry got them this day, as well. 

March 8, 2014: 

Arrow (Louis) - FN [Louis' 30th tattoo]

Meta: So a little over 2 weeks after Harry got the anatomical heart, Louis got an arrow. [Yes, again, this is real life. Now I go cry.]

Much like this concept, except spread over 2 people:

May 8, 2014:

Brasil! (Harry) - Unknown (Brazil) [Harry's 48th tattoo]

August 15, 2014: 

Skull & Crossbones (Louis) - East River Tattoo (NYC) [Louis' 31st tattoo]

September 7, 2014*:

Smiley face on left thigh (Louis) - Unknown [Louis' 32nd tattoo]

November 10, 2014:

Mermaid (Harry) - LS [Harry's 49th tattoo]

"Meta: "In an interview with Hollywood Life, [Harry] revealed the inspiration behind this one: “I am a mermaid,” he said when asked about it. So there’s that." (source) - Never change, Harold, never change lmao]

You Booze, You Lose & Liquor Bottle (Harry) - LS [Harry's 50th tattoo]

November 25, 2014:

Dagger (Louis) - Bondi Ink [Louis 33rd tattoo]

[in case anyone ever doubted that he indeed got a d a g g e r

and once more, with feeling...

--

continued in Part 5

TIMELINE: TATTOOS TO DATE

This is organized by date. All tattoos are linked to photos, unless they are major tattoos I want to talk about, in which case I have inserted the photos into the post. (Special thanks to thelegohouselove and their wonderful tattoo masterposts with pictures)

Dates are dates I believe they actually got the tattoos. If I can’t find a date they got the tattoo, I have indicated it with a “*” which is the first date we saw the tattoo. 

Before we begin, fun facts that might blow your mind:

Harry has 56 tattoos that we know of.

Louis 38 tattoos that we know of. 

Harry got 30 of his 56 tattoos between June and October 2012. That’s, on average, about 8/month.

Louis got 10 of his 37 between October and December 2012. That’s, on average, about 5/month.

The most Harry ever got on one day is 4. He got 13 in a 7 day period in October 2012. The most Louis ever got on one day was 5 on February 25 of 2013.

Artist counts for Harry: Tom Atkins (10); Liam Sparkes (10); Freddy Negrete (8); Kevin Paul (3). 

Artist counts for Louis: Skunx (7); Liam Sparkes (4); Freddy Negrete (4).

Some of this stuff isn’t an exact science. Some of it is me making an educated guess, especially involving some of Harry’s tattoos in October and Louis’ “The Rogue” vs. “It is what it is” and Harry’s 3 Nails. So bear that in mind. 

Over all, this should give you a good idea of just how much the tattoos seem to be an outlet during highly-closeted and stressful times (Harry’s June-October spree that gave way to the birds, ship & compass and butterfly and Louis’ October-December Haylor spree), not only in date alone, but also in the subject of the tattoo.

Thank you to Kerry, Jess & awesomeanonfriend for the cheerleading and fact-checking and Angela for her insight. 

Let’s do this.

Keep reading

[solxamber]

Romance Clichés with: Riddle Rosehearts

Cliché: The Grand Romantic Gesture

Others: Leona ; Azul ; Vil ; Kalim ; Idia ; Jamil

The moment you decided to court Riddle Rosehearts, you knew you had to bring your A-game. And by A-game, you meant memorizing all 810 laws of the Queen of Hearts.

Did anyone ask you to? No.

Did anyone want you to? Probably not.

But that didn’t matter. What mattered was Riddle noticing you.

The first rule you put into practice was Rule 178: "When presenting flowers, they must be in groups of three, six, or nine." So, naturally, you showed up at Heartslabyul one day holding a perfectly arranged bouquet of nine red roses.

"For you," you said, holding them out with a bow that lingered precisely three seconds, no more, no less (Rule 12).

Riddle blinked, his face shifting from neutral to the faintest pink. “You— You’re following the rules?”

“Of course,” you replied smoothly. “I wouldn’t dare present flowers improperly to the Heartslabyul Dorm Leader.”

Cater whistled from somewhere behind him. Trey raised a brow. Riddle, meanwhile, looked like he might short-circuit.

“W-Well, good,” he managed, clutching the roses like they were something sacred. “It’s refreshing to see someone with proper manners.”

You grinned, internally high-fiving yourself. Step one: complete.

You’d researched extensively for your next move. Rule 47: “A surprise tea party must include the guest bringing their own cup and saucer.”

When Riddle called an impromptu tea party, you arrived armed with not only a cup and saucer but a tiny tray of perfectly portioned sweets, arranged in compliance with Rule 290: “Desserts served at tea parties must be bite-sized and arranged symmetrically.”

The silence as you set them on the table was deafening.

Trey looked mildly impressed. Cater snapped a picture. Riddle, on the other hand, stared at you like you’d just recited Shakespeare in iambic pentameter while juggling teacups.

“You…” He cleared his throat. “You’ve been studying the rules?”

“Of course,” you said, taking your seat and stirring your tea exactly three times counterclockwise (Rule 723). “It’s only proper.”

“I—Yes, well—” His ears turned bright red as he took a bite of one of your desserts. “You’ve done well,” he muttered, almost too quietly to hear.

You didn’t miss the way his gaze lingered on you for the rest of the tea party.

By the time you hit Rule 810—“A declaration of admiration must be made with precision, sincerity, and a token of affection”—Riddle was this close to losing it.

You didn’t plan to deploy it that day. You were just practicing it in your head when you ran into him at the rose garden. He was inspecting the flowers, his brows furrowed in that way that somehow made him even cuter.

“Rule 810,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

Riddle turned to you, confused. “What?”

Crap. No turning back now.

You cleared your throat, stepping closer. “Rule 810 states that a declaration of admiration must be precise, sincere, and accompanied by a token of affection.” You pulled a small, hand-embroidered handkerchief from your pocket. It was decorated with roses and a tiny “R” stitched in the corner.

You held it out to him, your hands only trembling slightly. “I… I’ve memorized all the rules because I wanted to court you properly. Because I admire you. And because—well—because I love you.”

Riddle’s mouth opened, then closed. His face turned such a bright shade of red that you worried he might actually faint.

“You—” His voice cracked, and he quickly cleared his throat. “You… love me?”

“Yes,” you said, letting out a nervous laugh. “Honestly, after memorizing 810 rules for you, I don’t think I could possibly love anyone else.”

Riddle stared at you, his gloved hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. For a moment, you thought he might actually explode. Then, all at once, he stepped forward, took the handkerchief, and pressed it to his chest like it was something priceless.

“I—” He took a shaky breath. “You’re absolutely ridiculous.”

You blinked. “I—what?”

“Who memorizes 810 rules for someone?” he said, his voice rising slightly. “You’re—You’re maddening! Impossible! Utterly—” He cut himself off, taking another breath before meeting your gaze.

“…And yet, I can’t imagine anyone else doing something so utterly… thoughtful.”

You felt your heart leap into your throat as his expression softened. “You’ve done all this for me,” he continued, his voice quieter now. “And I… I’d be a fool not to accept such a heartfelt gesture.”

“So… is that a yes?” you asked, trying (and failing) not to grin.

Riddle’s blush deepened, but he nodded. “Yes.”

And then, to your utter shock, he stepped closer, reaching for your hand. “But I hope you realize,” he said, a small smile tugging at his lips, “that now I’ll expect you to uphold all the rules of the Queen of Hearts from now on.”

You laughed, your heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks. “I wouldn’t dream of doing otherwise.”

Masterlist

[sagethesmol1]

the fast clips in tommy’s new video :)

i can’t watch back my old videos because everyone in them wasn’t who they said they were. do you know how sad this makes me feel. do you know how sad i have been all year.

When I was a boy, alone, this means everything to me. I found my people. My place. And along the way I was part of something that really meant something. This is the only good bit of this. Whatever I did that meant something, that’s the good bit.

Status is irrational and nature is cyclical. it’s attention porn. Don’t get addicted to it. It’s nothing. It means nothing. They are more insecure than you. But what the fuck [can’t read the last bit]

How could anyone possibly find out who they are when you are all immersed in the needless, self indulgent spiral of instant gratification. This is not good for you.

I don’t think I trust anyone here. I don’t think anyone trusts anyone here. the poor 12 year old watching this sad ass video when he subscribes for funny minecraft video. poor guy lmao

yeah i know it’s too much like bo burnham. It won’t be in a year though. In a year it will be like Tom Simons. Just let me figure out what that means, OK?

I used to feel like I was doin everything wrong. That i just wasn’t as smart or good like any of my friends. I realized I was the only one doing the right thing. I just would to have fun. What i’d do to get that back, my god. What id do to for things to be simple again.

I just don’t want to slip back into who I was. A year ago, I needed you. A year ago, all my self-esteem and worth and love came from you. A year ago i wasn’t happy unless you were. I don’t think I can ever do that again. That was really wrong. How did I possibly end up there.

If you find a corner of this world wide web with any substance at all, please stick to it. The hundreds of millions of people that now place absolutely no value on their time, their precious time, and spend it watching soulless content designed to hold their attention is depressing. This all depressed me. There is so little substance in this mess of a world wide web, so little art or soul or love. If you find any substance, stick to it.

A tribute to Minecraft. The Great Potato War. TheOriginalAce’s Q&A’s. Ludwig’s 2020 Streams. SMPLive Talent Show. This was everything to me.

oh my god please help him

The fast clips in Tommy's new music video

[liveyun]

you’re an idiot (so am i) | j.jk

pairing. jeon jungkook x fem oc/reader

rating. M

genre. enemies to 👀, university AU, neighbours AU, comedy, drama, romance, angst, slight smut

warnings. coarse language, crACK like lOTS OF IT, theyre both idiots. excessive bickering,,, gym related stuff,,, Medical school itself is a warning,, unhealthy amounts of protein mentions,, i’m Sorry if you’re a gymbro 😭🙏🏾, awkwardness, oc gets slightly injured, it gets slightly smutty 👀, unspoken feelings bc they both suck at communicating, some Cute stuff, that should be it but lmk if i missed any, its 4am

wc. 4.5k +

if this writing style flops, i’ll probably quit writing too 💀

it’s 7:04 AM

or is it really. what is the time again

unfortunately you are awake.

and it’s not by choice.

it’s because your protein 💪 PROTEIN 💪 MORE PROTEIN 🏋️ gymrat neighbour is up, doing burpees in his living room

and the walls between your apartments are criminally thin

and you’re convinced he’s trying to invent a new form of torture through burpees because the sQUEAKING OF HIS DAMN SHOES ARE JUST AS LOUD AS AN ALARM CLOCK!!

why is he even awake at this ungodly hour, you wonder for the 8293838th time since moving in

you feel like crying

for rEAL.

it was around 5:30 am when u finally had let out a sigh of relief at having finally completed your assignment

you roll out of bed, hair resembling a bird’s nest

what else is bed hair supposed to look like

“O YEA!”

here we go

again

you feel like ripping your already damaged hair bc why does he have to be so damn loud

has no occupant not filed a complaint against him yet?

so now u consider knocking on his door to complain... but you remember what happened the last time you tried

jungkook had answered the door holding two dumbbells liKe they were extensions of his arms, shirtless, smiling so brightly it could cure vitamin D deficiency

you knew you were cooked the moment smirked at you gawkinG at his physique and you felt your cheeks warming up

“oh, hey, Y/N,” he’d said, casually flexing mid-sentence with that stupid grin on his face “need something? Or just admiring the view?”

you haven’t known peace ever since

by 8:15 AM, you’ve surrendered to fate and shuffled into the kitchen for coffee

you swEar you hear Jungkook’s blender whirring as he makes another one of his infamous protein shakes

does he even eat anything which does not have protein powder

like ok you understand the value of protein

but anything which has that stupid thing in it automatically tastes like the Biggest Piece of Dogshit

and somehow that’s what you neighbour has 24/7

last week he had accidentally left one in the communal fridge

it smelled like death and regret.

absolute L

anyway u think u need to get something in ur system too and thats when u open your fridge

and sigh

it’s empty.

except for a jar of pickles and a, uh, questionable carton of oat milk

yea. you’ll have to get brunch today. no futher questions asked

10:32 AM

ur first class of the day

and guess what

u have made the mistake of sitting near Jungkook in the lecture hall.

again! 😍

u swear that u are trying to focus on the lecture but is it really your fault that jungkook looks extra,,,...,,,

beefy

his notebook is open, but instead of notes, he’s drawing a disturbingly accurate diagram of biceps

and the shading looks pretty accurate too

he notices you staring, oof “anatomy is about more than just books, Y/N.”

you feel a muscle near your eye twitch

“i really don’t remember asking.”

ouch

that came out a bit too rude. . .

you feel like u should say sorry or something but he just flashes you that golden retriever grin

and somehow, you’re the one who feels stupid

12:10 PM

you’d think a med school lunch break would feel like a break

but no

the first thing you hear is the unmistakable pop of jungkook’s tupperware lid. it’s like pavlov’s bell, but instead of a dog, it triggers your impending irritation

of course it’s chicken, broccoli, and rice. gymrat starter pack™

does this man even know other foods exist?

atleast it doesn’t look unseasoned so maybe you can take it

you’re not the one having it anyway

“bon appétit,” he says with that smug grin, shoveling a forkful into his mouth like he’s filming a mukbang

you side-eye your sad excuse of a sandwich. “don’t you ever get bored of eating that?”

he gasps like a victorian man having seen the ankle of his wife for the first time

“bored? of gains? never.”

the chewing. oh god, the chewing. it’s so loud you’re convinced he’s doing it on purpose

crunch. chew. sip of water from the world’s largest bottle. repeat.

“do you have to eat like a vacuum?”

he pauses, fork mid-air, and looks at you with wide, innocent eyes. then he grins. “do you have to be this cute when you’re annoyed?”

wha— cough!!

did you just choke at your sandwich infront of him?

-100 aura points

your brain just blue-screens

what the hell are you supposed to do with that information

12:22 pm

you haven’t touched your chips yet. you’re saving them for after jungkook’s food massacre ends

his tupperware is licked clean but he’s already eyeing your bag of chips like a hawk

“you gonna eat those?”

“yes, jungkook, i’m gonna eat my chips”

“cool”

c r u n c h

he’s already eaten half the bag.

u are genuinely considering homicide now

the girl from the next table suddenly waves at him, all giggly and twirling her hair like she’s auditioning for a romcom

“hey, jungkook! you should totally sit with us!”

he glances at you, one brow raised. “should i?”

“why are you asking me?” you snap, already annoyed (but like, annoyed in a normal way, not jealous. definitely not jealous)

you miss the way his lips quirk in the corners

“nah, i think i’ll stay here,” he says, smirking. “you’re better company anyway”

...

why is your face heating up. why. stop it

1:00 PM

you’re walking to your next class when jungkook catches up, sipping his protein shake. the smell is somewhere between expired yogurt and pure evil

“so, lunch was fun,” he says casually, like he didn’t commit multiple crimes against your sanity earlier

“for who?” you mumble, giving him the nastiest bombastic side eye

“for both of us,” he replies, grinning. “don’t lie, y/n, you’d miss me if i wasn’t around”

“i’d miss the peace”

he laughs heartily and it’s the kind of laugh that makes you want to both strangle him and maybe... smile a little

1:12 PM

ur phone dings

dumb(bell)kook : (now) bring more chips tomorrow

or don’t. i’ll just steal them again

>:D

you stare at your screen for a second, debating whether to respond or block his number

you type back

you : (1:13PM) touch my chips again and i’ll report you to student conduct

his reply is instant.

dumb(bell)kook : (now) bet they’d let me off for good behavior 😛

2:47 pm.

group project time!

otherwise known as “watch y/n slowly lose her sanity” time

you're hunched over your notes, trying to come up with literally anything for this cursed assignment while everyone else is glued to their phones

“guys, any ideas?” you try, for the fifth time, because teamwork makes the dream work, right?

wrong. dead silence. you can practically hear your soul exiting your body

one guy mutters, "we could... idk, make a powerpoint?" and goes back to scrolling on instagram. helpful king

you’re about three seconds away from making a powerpoint on why you hate everyone here when the door swings open

in walks jungkook, twenty minutes late, balancing a protein shake in one hand and a clipboard in the other

like he’s about to announce his plan for world domination

he slides into the chair next to you, annoyingly fresh, as if he hasn’t just already benched three cows at the gym

“did i miss anything?” he asks, sipping his shake and eyeing you with those boba lookalike peepers like he’s the main character

why are his eyes so

cute

“yeah, we solved climate change and made contact with aliens. you're late.”

he smirks. smirks. “nice. guess i’ll tackle world hunger next.”

one of your lab mates looks up from her phone just to whisper, “he’s so hot..”

my ass.

“he’s useless”

you’re about to drop-kick the clipboard out of his hands when he lazily stretches and says, “so what’s the plan, y/n? you always have the best ideas”

and just like that, everyone turns to you like a pack of hyenas waiting for their next meal

you might actually murder him. right after you finish this stupid project.

>:-)

midnight.

you’re staring at your notes like they’re written in ancient alien hieroglyphics. focus? yup, that’s a myth

through the wall, you hear it. again.

jungkook’s obnoxious gym playlist thumping loud enough to summon the gods of protein.

how about you just summon the reaper to maybe reap your soul or his

you try to ignore it. you really do. but then the bass drops, and you swear the walls start vibrating

ARGH

that’s it. you’ve snapped. you slam your pen down and march out of your apartment like a woman on a mission

by the time you’re at his door, you’re already regretting this decision

but sleep-deprived y/n? she’s not known for her impulse control

you bang on the door like your life depends on it

>:-(

after a moment, jungkook opens up, looking like he just stepped out of a gym rat rom-com. damp hair, earbuds in, wearing a tank top that shows off way too much arm.

good lord, those tattoos..

“what’s up?” he asks casually, pulling out an earbud, as if you didn’t just nearly break his door down

whats up? what thE hELL DOES HE MEAN WHATS UP??

“it’s midnight!” you yell, waving a hand in the general direction of your apartment. “some of us need sleep to survive!”

he blinks at you, tilting his head like a confused golden retriever. “but you’re awake now. want to do a quick set of push-ups?

you stare at him. you need to go to the store from where he bought the audacity. “push-ups?!”

“yeah,” he says, dead serious. “it’s a good way to burn off frustration. i do them all the time when i’m annoyed.”

“maybe i should start,” you mutter, narrowing your eyes. “because i’m annoyed right now.”

jungkook grins like the demon he is. “great! i’ll grab my mat.”

before you can stop him, he’s already turned back into his apartment. you briefly consider running, but it’s too late.

this is your life now.

five minutes later, you’re on the floor of his apartment, struggling to do one (1) push-up while he effortlessly does twenty in the same time it takes you to collapse in defeat

you feel like someone has bathed you in sweat

“this is humiliating,” you groan, face smushed into the mat

maybe you should’ve just slept

“nah, you’re doing great,” he says, way too cheerfully for someone torturing you. “just three more and you’ll hit... like, five total.”

you debate throwing a dumbbell at him but decide against it

jail isn’t worth it.

yet.

five minutes later you’re on the floor of his apartment, now two (2) push-ups deep and already regretting every decision you’ve made up to this point

you try again, your arms shaking with the effort, your brain screaming for mercy, when—

crack

“ow, ow, ow!” you yelp as your shoulder protests in a way that’s probably not supposed to happen

“that’s it, i’m dOne” you wince, face red from the sheer humiliation and pain

jungkook is standing there with a weirdly sympathetic expression that’s 90% amusement and 10% concern

he’s crouching beside you now, and you can't help but notice his Bambi eyes, all big and concerned, looking at your shoulder like he's actually worried for you

fml

this is so unfair

“u good?” he asks, voice unusually soft, and you can’t help but notice that barely there scar on his left cheek pulling slightly as he frowns and looks down at you

you glare at him, wincing a little more than you’d like to admit

does it look like ur good lol

“i think i pulled something” you mutter, still holding your shoulder, and mentally kicking yourself for agreeing to do this in the first place

you knew you shouldn’t have agreed to him

“mm,” he hums thoughtfully, his gaze flicking to your face, and then down to your shoulder with that gentle focus you didn’t think he was capable of

oUuu

“you should’ve asked for help, rookie” he says with that familiar cocky grin, but you catch the slight crinkle of concern in his brow, the mole beneath his lips almost beckoning you to stare at it

why is he so dumb but also so stupidly handsome?

and then his fingers are brushing against your shoulder again, carefully massaging the area in a way that’s too intimate for someone who’s just your annoying gym-obsessed neighbor

your heart rate spikes, and suddenly the injury doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore

“i’m fine, really,” you lie, trying to brush it off, but the way his Bambi eyes are looking at you—all soft and worried—has your head spinning

oh god

“i don’t think you are” he mutters, voice low, as he places a hand gently on your waist, pulling you just a little closer

god, stop being so touchy

the fact that he smells like musk and with some citrus-y notes underneath doesn’t help either

you feel your cheeks warming and lips parting

you feel yourself leaning in despite all logic telling you to stop, and then his eyes flicker down to your lips and back to your eyes, slow and cautious, like he’s waiting for your permission

you really cannot help but feel your heart skip a beat at how beautiful he looks. no like for real, his hair is slightly overgrown, curled at the ends which fall gracefully over his face

and how soft his lips look

your brain is too far gone, and the next thing you know, you’re kissing him, hand tangled in his hair, pulling him even closer

his hair feels so silky soft

but his lips are even softer, but there’s a desperate edge to the kiss, and you don’t know if it's because of your injury or the fact that you’ve both been playing this weird tension game for far too long

you feel like u can finally die kissing him like this

his hand slides down your back, pressing you into him as if you might disappear, and you pull away, gasping for air

jungkook’s eyes are wide, his pupils blown and heavy-lidded, his chest rising and falling quickly as he looks at you with an unreadable expression

“shit, i… i didn’t think i was actually going to do that” he murmurs, his voice rough and nearly trembling if u hear closely

you stare at his lips again, the mole under them, the way he looks so dumb but also so dumb handsome

his mouth parts to say something stupid again but you shush him with your pointer on his lips

“shut up and kiss me again, you idiot” you mutter, pulling him back in without a second thought

oH WOW

Jungkook doesn’t need any more encouragement. this time, it’s all teeth and heat, a kiss that feels like it might burn the air around you both

and your shoulder? completely forgotten, left in the dust

the kiss doesn’t end in some grand, romantic crescendo like the movies promised

you both were shamelessly making out on his mat

you were perched on his lap and both of u were busy eating eachother’s mouths (it sounds gross but that’s what exactly u two were doing) when suddenly you give his hair a tug

and you hear a moan spilling from him

his hips buck up and you gasp, but it ends with him abruptly pulling away

he’s breathing like he just ran an hour on the treadmill. cheeks all flushed, lips shining with saliva and eyes wide

and your heart is hammering in your chest like it’s trying to escape

jungkook stares at you, lips slightly swollen, eyes wide and wild, and for once, the idiot looks just as lost as you feel

“i—uh—” you stammer, the words tangling in your throat because what the hell are you supposed to say after something like that

“y- yeah,” he cuts in, his voice rough and strained like he’s been punched in the gut, “same”

same? SAME?!

you glare at him, more out of panic than anger, because suddenly the room feels too small, and his scent—something annoyingly musky and Jungkook-ish—is now overwhelming you

“i, uh, should go” you blurt out, scrambling to your feet and clutching your sore shoulder like a lifeline

jungkook doesn’t stop you, just sits there on the floor, looking up at you with a furrowed brow and an expression you can’t quite place

“cool” he mutters, dragging a hand through his messy hair as his jaw clenches

you don’t say anything else, don’t even look back as you practically bolt out of his apartment and into the safety of your own, slamming the door shut behind you

breathe, you tell yourself, leaning against the door, your heart still racing, your lips still tingling from his kiss

you won’t lie, you really didn’t think it would take just a tug of hair to have Mr. Muscle moaning under you

and that kind of inflated ur ego too

>:-)

but now

as u stand behind your closed door

the warmth that had filled your chest moments ago is quickly replaced by a knot of confusion and panic

because this wasn’t supposed to happen, not with Jungkook of all people

he’s my annoying gym-rat neighbor. this is… this is stupid

or is this really?..

no matter how much you try to convince yourself, your fingers keep brushing your lips absentmindedly, and your brain replays the moment over and over again like some kind of cruel joke

the next morning, you half expect him to blast his gym playlist at full volume to piss you off like he always does

but it’s quiet

too quiet

jungkook doesn’t blast music. doesn’t clank weights around. doesn’t do anything to make his presence known, and it’s driving you insane

you don’t know why it bothers you so much, but it does

when you leave for class, you catch a glimpse of him locking his door, but he doesn’t even glance your way

just slings his backpack over his shoulder and walks off like you don’t exist

asshole

yea that hurt. a Lot. like a good amount, because you are sure that you felt that pain in the centre of your chest

but it’s not like you’re any better

you bury yourself in your textbooks, pretending the kiss never happened, even though your stupid brain refuses to let it go

your chest feels tight every time you hear his door open or his voice filter through the thin walls

and you hate how you feel disappointed every time he doesn’t acknowledge you

like you really are a stranger to him

:-(

it’s pathetic, but you can’t help it

the silence between the two of you stretches on like an invisible barrier

days pass, and the two of you become masters of the fine art of avoidance

there’s a strange art to it, like walking on eggshells in your own apartment

even if u two live in separate apartments, it just feels

weird

you are so used to him being so noisy and what not

but the silence is heavy, uncomfortable, like an unfinished sentence hanging in the air

and it’s clEar neither of you know how to handle whatever the hell this is

you can’t figure out whether it’s a relief or suffocating

and every time you pass him in the hallway or see him through your apartment window, it’s like a silent conversation you’re not having

and that, somehow, feels worse than everything else

you want him to say something. anything.

but he doesn’t

and neither do you

and it makes you sick how easy it is to fall back into the rhythm of pretending he doesn’t exist

even when he’s right there.

you go to class and he’s there

sitting three rows ahead of you like he’s deliberately trying to ignore you

and with that girl who cannot seem to have her hands off his bicep

and you’re… fine with it

totally fine

you are just hoping that your glare is enough to burn a hole in her skull

it’s just that you can’t stop staring at the back of his head

like maybe he’ll turn around and say something but nope

the entire lecture passes and he doesn’t even glance over

and you try not to overthink it but you’re pretty sure jungkook is doing the same thing to you

ignoring you

on purpose

you’re not imagining it, right?

lunch rolls around and you sit down at your usual spot

jungkook’s sitting at the table next to you with his back to you

he doesn’t even look up when you sit down

normally, he would’ve sent you a little half-smile or asked about your day or whatever. .

but now? nothing

it’s like you’re invisible

and that’s fine. you don’t care.

but deep down, you feel this weird lump in your chest

because you didn’t expect this coldness from him

even after everything that’s happened

and you’d even unconsciously brought his favourite flavour of chips he especially likes..

:(

then you see him texting on his phone

and you can’t help but peek over at his screen

jungkook is texting someone

and it’s not you

for some reason, that stings more than it should, but you swallow it down and pretend you didn’t notice

the silence between the two of you stretches out for days

it’s like the entire universe is pretending you never had that moment together

the night when everything took a wild ass turn

but jungkook’s acting like it never happened

and so are you.

and maybe, just maybe, that’s better

maybe he regrets kissing you.

maybe you even made him uncomfortable?..

and maybe this is easier

you can’t decide if it hurts or if you’re just overthinking it

either way, you stop checking his texts, stop wondering what he’s doing in his apartment

you try your best to pretend it’s okay

but deep down, you miss the stupid moments

the ones where he wasn’t so distant where it feels like something ended between you two before it could even start.

it feels like it’s been over a decade

:(

and you hate it.

but you push it aside

it’s just… the silence is way too loud now.

you’re sitting in your room, trying to convince yourself that letting go of jungkook is the right thing to do

and perhaps ur failing miserably lol

but it’s hard because every five minutes you catch yourself staring at something that reminds you of him

your notes? he doodled on them during lectures

your hoodie? yeah, it’s his. he lent it to you one day and never asked for it back

your heart? yeah. he kind of stole that too

you’re spiraling between sleep and insanity when there’s a knock on your door

no, wait—it’s not a knock

it’s banging — like someone’s fist is about to break through the wood

WHO CALLED THE COPS ON YOU ONG

you jump up, your heart pounding, and open the door

and there he is

jungkook—standing there, looking like he just ran a marathon and fought a bear at the same time

hair all messy, slight bags underneath his eyes and kinda disheveled outfit

for a split second, you freeze, your breath catching in your throat

oh

it’s been weeks since you’ve seen him, and suddenly having him standing in front of you is making your heart race like crazy

“i can’t—” he stops, breathless, hands on his knees like he’s about to collapse

you’re standing there, eyes wide, totally taken aback by the sight of him, feeling a mix of relief and something else you can’t quite place

yet

“i can’t take it anymore,” he says, looking up at you with that ridiculous face of his

you grab that meaty bicep of him, ushering him to stand up

“what are you talking about?” you ask, completely confused

“you. i’m talking about you,” he says, taking a step closer

hUH

the air around you feels like it’s being sucked out of the room

your head is spinning because after all this time, here he is, right in front of you

“i like you. i’ve always liked you. and i didn’t know how to tell you, so i…”

“i got all this gym equipment just to bother you. i’d turn the music up way too loud, and i thought that’d make you notice me. i sat next to you at lunch, even in lectures, doing everything to annoy you because i didn’t know how else to approach you, i really thought—”

“jungkook.”

you blink, processing everything in a blur, your heart still hammering in your chest

but he doesn’t quite listen to you. “i knew you liked my sketches we had during cardio lectures, so i always made sure to draw—”

“juNGKOOK!”

you cut him off, smacking his idiotic shoulders “you’re an idiot.”

jungkook stops, eyes widening a little, but there’s this look of relief on his face

like a huge weight has just been lifted off him

almost like when u get to pee after holding it in for hours

“i know,” he says softly, and for the first time, you realize how vulnerable he looks standing there

he somehow looks

small.

“then why didn’t you just talk to me like a normal person?” you ask, your voice a mix of exasperation and amusement

jungkook smiles sheepishly, his pearly whites flashing. “i guess i thought this would be easier.”

easier.

only if he knew that each moment without him felt like the earth opening up and swallowing you

AND!!! HIS FAVOURITE ONION VINEGAR FLAVORED CHIPS!! which used to be your absolutely hated flavour but somehow you’ve caught a liking to them recently

how ironic

the room feels heavy with tension as you both stand there, unsure of what to say next, but his gaze is so intense, it makes your heart skip

“say something,” he says, his voice quieter now, almost pleading. “please.”

you can feel the heat rising in your cheeks, still flustered, but there’s something about his earnestness that makes everything else fade into the background

and the way his caramel brown eyes nearly sparkle underneath your dimly lit apartment lights

you shake your head with a smile.

“you’re an idiot.”

but you're smiling like a total fool because what else are you supposed to do when the guy you’ve been in love with just confessed to you?

jungkook’s face softens, and then he smiles too

a smile which looks so adorable you feel your heart will burst

and it’s over for you

“so, uh…” he scratches the back of his neck, looking bashful. “does that mean you like me too?”

you roll your eyes, your heart racing all over again, and grab the front of his shirt to pull him inside

“kiss me already”

the door slams shut behind you.

and the rest

as they say, is history

:-)

a/n : i love them bad :’(

mlist | let me know what you think anonymously :))

[dissapointu]

I'm dying here, 4 tests, course, my house is a mess and I just wanted to sleep 12 hours straight.

Can I request for Arcane X characters scary!reader I think they would be a big person with a look at me and I'll break your neck vibe, but they are sweet with their partners.

Drink water, stay well 👋🏻

I totally get the feeling of being overwhelmed, but take a deep breath! You’ve got this. I’ll take your request and make it worth your while with some headcanons. These characters would absolutely be intrigued by an intimidating, “look at me and I’ll break your neck” type of reader who is sweet with them.

————————————————————————

Jinx

Jinx’s initial reaction is pure curiosity mixed with excitement. She’s not intimidated easily, so when she first meets you, she’s all over the place—sizing you up with a wild grin. The cold stare you give anyone who dares challenge you only fuels her chaos-loving spirit.

“Oh, I like this one!” Jinx cackles, bouncing around you with pure glee. “You could totally crush someone with just a look!” Her eyes gleam as she watches you—she admires your confidence.

When you’re sweet to her, though, Jinx melts. Your soft side balances out the sharp edges of your persona, and she clings to you like a koala. “You’re so soft with me, though,” she says with a grin, “but the second someone tries to mess with us… BAM! I’ll be ready to blow something up!”

Vi

Vi respects strength, and she can immediately tell you have it. The way you carry yourself, the air around you—it speaks volumes. While most people might shrink back, Vi doesn’t flinch. She’s more intrigued by the fact that you’re a force to be reckoned with, yet you’re still affectionate with her.

When you show her your softer side, she feels an intense mix of pride and adoration. “I gotta admit, babe,” she says, flashing a grin, “seeing you toss someone into the nearest wall makes me a little jealous… but I love how gentle you are with me.”

Vi would always stand by your side in a fight, but she’ll be the first to keep you grounded and remind you that you don’t have to use your strength all the time. She’s happy to see the layers beneath your intimidating exterior.

Sevika

Sevika sees herself in you—a strong, no-nonsense type who doesn’t take crap from anyone. She’s genuinely impressed by your intimidating aura, and she can’t help but feel a little protective. She might be a bit reserved, but she always notices the way people act around you.

“Not many can make people shut up with a glance,” she muses, her eyes narrowing with admiration. When you’re sweet with her, Sevika’s face softens, and she’ll often pull you close, knowing no one else will get close to you as easily. “Don’t let your guard down, babe,” she’ll whisper, “But don’t worry—I’ll take care of you.”

She knows what you’re capable of, and she finds comfort in the fact that you’re with her—someone who’s just as tough as you are.

Silco

Silco is drawn to power, and he immediately recognizes the authority you carry. There’s something magnetic about you—people step aside when you walk through a room, and Silco is no exception. He knows your power can match his, and he admires that.

But when you show him your softer, loving side, it takes him by surprise. Silco is used to cold, calculated relationships, but you bring something else—a warmth he didn’t expect. “So you have this… other side,” he muses, his gaze intense. “I’d say I’m the only one who gets to see it, but I don’t want to share you with anyone.”

When you’re around him, Silco sees you as more than just a weapon. You’re someone who complements his ambitions and understands his dark side—but also reminds him of the humanity he’s lost.

Vander

Vander would be a little more cautious when he first meets you. He knows strength, and he knows how intimidating you are, but he’s always been a protector, so he’d approach you with care. Still, he can see your sweet nature beneath the surface, especially when you’re with him.

Vander would soften when you show him affection, seeing that you’re not all about intimidation. “You’ve got this fierce side, I see that,” he’d say with a chuckle, pulling you close. “But with me? You’re just my baby. I’ll take care of you.”

Vander would always remind you to keep your temper in check, especially around others, but he loves the balance you bring to the relationship.

Ekko

Ekko respects strength, but he’s the type to see through tough exteriors. He’d be a little intimidated at first, but once he realizes you have a gentle side when you’re with him, he’s putty in your hands.

“You’re like a force of nature, but when it’s just us…” he’d say, his voice teasing. “I’m your soft spot, huh?”

He would love how protective you are over him and always make sure you’re not just scaring people away with your strength. He sees that vulnerability in you and always offers his support. “You don’t have to scare everyone off, y’know,” Ekko would chuckle, “But I can’t lie—I love how you just walk in like you own the place.”

Jayce

Jayce has never been intimidated by anyone, but when he sees you command attention with just your presence, he’s intrigued. He might try to act like he’s unaffected, but there’s a clear glimmer of admiration in his eyes.

“You don’t have to use that aura on me,” Jayce would say with a smirk, feeling the weight of your power. But when you’re affectionate with him, he lets out a relieved sigh. “Good thing I get to see you when you’re not throwing people across the room.”

Jayce loves your strength and the security you bring to the relationship, and he secretly loves how you take charge in situations. He’s all about teamwork, and your balance of power and tenderness is exactly what he needs.

Viktor

Viktor might be a little shy when he first meets you, sensing the overwhelming presence you give off. But as he gets to know you, he becomes fascinated by your strength and how you seem to effortlessly control a room.

When you’re gentle with him, it blows his mind. “You’re the most intimidating person I’ve met…” he’d say, adjusting his glasses nervously, “But with me, you’re kind. I don’t understand how, but… I think I like it.”

Viktor loves how you balance your fierce exterior with a soft side that’s only for him. He admires your intelligence and strength, and it makes him feel safe and cherished.

Caitlyn

Caitlyn is not easily intimidated, but when she sees how effortlessly people back away when you enter the room, she’s impressed. However, she’s not afraid to challenge you—she respects your strength, but she doesn’t let it overpower her.

“You’ve got quite the reputation,” Caitlyn would say with a smile. “But when you’re with me, no one else matters, right?”

She’ll show you that she’s not intimidated by your power, but she’ll also soften when she sees the gentle side you reserve for her. “You don’t have to act tough with me. I know what you’re really like,” she’ll say, snuggling into your side.

Mel Medarda

Mel doesn’t get intimidated easily, but there’s something about your commanding presence that fascinates her. She loves the power you exude, but she’ll also quickly recognize your soft side, especially when you’re with her.

“You make the whole room stand still when you walk in,” Mel would say, impressed. “It’s captivating… but I’m the one who gets to see the real you.”

Mel loves how you balance the tough exterior with your caring, affectionate nature. She feels like she’s the only one who gets to witness your gentleness, and she’ll savor every moment.

Ambessa Medarda

Ambessa respects strength more than anything, and she’s immediately drawn to your power. She recognizes that you could crush anyone who stands in your way, but she’s not intimidated—rather, she’s intrigued.

“You’re a force to be reckoned with,” Ambessa would say, her voice low and admiring. “But I’m the one who gets to keep you, aren’t I?”

She’d always keep you close, making sure you’re hers. Ambessa would love how you soften in her presence, and she’d hold onto you with pride.

Maddie Nolen

Maddie might be a little intimidated at first, but as she gets to know you, she’s in awe of how you can be both powerful and gentle. Your presence commands attention, but when you’re with her, you’re warm and kind.

“You’re so strong,” Maddie would say, her voice filled with admiration. “But you never make me feel small. How do you do it?”

She’d absolutely adore your sweet side, and she’d love being the one to see you at your most vulnerable.

Lest

Lest isn’t someone who gets intimidated by anyone, but when she sees how others react to your mere presence, she’s amused. Still, she knows how to keep you close and keep others in line.

“I’m not worried about your strength,” Lest would say with a smirk. “But you’ve got me wrapped around your finger with that sweetness of yours.”

She’d love how you balance the toughness with tenderness, and she’d always make sure to keep you close and remind you that she’s the only one who gets your sweet side.

[wils-brother-tommy]

all hidden messages in Tommy's new music video "The Internet's Getting Worse"

"If you find a corner of this world wide web that has any substance at all, then please stick to it. The hundreds of millions of people that now place absolutely no value on their time, their precious time, and spend it watching souless content designed to hold their attention is depressing. This all depressed me. There is so little substance in this mess of a world wide web, so little heart or soul or love. If you find any substance, stick to it."

"They want you to be angry-

Stop being angry."

"When I was a boy, alone, this meant everything to me. I found my people. My place. All along the way I was a part of something that really meant something. That is the only good bit of this. Whatever I did that meant something, that is the only good bit."

"A Tribute To Minecraft.

The Great Potato War.

The Original Ace's Q&A's.

Ludwig's 2020 streams.

SMPLive Talent Show.

This was everything to me."

"Status is irrational & nature is cynical"

"It's attention porn. 

Don't get addicted to it.

It's nothing. 

It means nothing."

"They are more insecure than you. But what the fuck do I know?"

"I can't watch back my old videos because everyone in them wasn't who they said they were. Do you know how sad this makes me feel. Do you know how sad I have felt all year."

"How could anyone possibly find out who they are when you are all immersed in this needless, self indulgent spiral of instant gratification and distraction. This is not good for you."

"the poor 12 year old watching this sad ass video when he subscribed for funny minecraft videos. poor guy lmao."

"I don't think I trust anyone here. I don't think anyone trusts anyone here."

"Yeah, I know it's too much like bo burnham. it won't be in a year though. In a year it will be like Tom Simons. Just let me figure out what that means, OK?"

"I used to feel like I was doing everything wrong. That I just wasn't smart or good like any of my friends. I realise now I was the only one doing the right thing. I just wanted to have fun. What I'd do to get that back, my god. What I'd do. To have things be simple again."

"I just don't want to slip back to who I was. A year ago I needed you. A year ago most of my self esteem and worth came from you. A year ago I wasn't happy unless you were. I don't think I can ever do that again. That was really wrong. How did I possibly end up there?"

[woozisguitar]

happy fuckin' birthday

pairing: jihoon x reader (afab)

warnings: kissing, swearing, suggestive towards the end so MDNI, bad bad ideas

word count: 1.2k

a/n: happy birthday to my girlfriend, husband, princess, the real love of my life, lee jihoon. idk what id do without you, my loverboy. everyday im so grateful you and me exist in the same timeline. please always be happier than me <3 (lowercase intended and not beta)

the fast bustling and the faint smell of coffee, which once felt intimidating, now feels like home. it’s been 8 months since you were last here, and god, you missed this. the overseas project took longer than anticipated, but none of that matters now that you’re back with the one you love. you slowly make your way to the floor where his studio is, trying to be as lowkey as possible. see, the thing is, you were supposed to arrive a week later, but the project wrapped up early, and there was no reason for you to stay away from your lover on his birthday. cue a last-minute birthday surprise which only you and his manager knew about.

when the elevator opened on his studio floor, you came face to face with none other than kwon soonyoung. soonyoung is a close friend, but you knew his hyperactivity would give away your plans in a second.

“yn, what are you—”

“shhhhhhhhhhh!” you shushed soonyoung, pulling him into the elevator and pressing the button to the top floor.

“dude, what the hell are you doing back so early?”

“jihoon’s birthday. the project wrapped up, and there was no reason for me to miss it,” you explained and saw a smile creeping up on your friend’s face.

“so, i’m guessing he doesn’t know?”

“nope. i planned this so last minute i’m not even sure if he’s free today.”

“he’s free. working as usual,” soonyoung rolled his eyes, “but i think i have an idea.”

“uh-oh.”

“so your great idea was to tell everyone except jihoon that i’m here? way to keep things lowkey, soonie,” you rolled your eyes, trying to figure out which idea would involve all 12 of jihoon’s members and his manager.

“nooo,” he dragged out the 'o', “the great idea is that we will distract him and sneak you into the studio where you can hide. then, once we leave, you can surprise him!”

“or give him a heart attack and an early death, which would be one hell of a birthday gift,” seungkwan commented, side-eyeing soonyoung.

“well, do you have a better idea?” seungkwan slowly shook his head no. “that’s what i thought. anyways, yn, trust me—he will like this.”

you gave his idea a second thought. well, it’s not like you had something better in mind anyway.

“god, this better work, soonyoung, or i’ll have your head.”

so the idea was indeed stupid.

the plan was that jihoon’s manager would first enter the studio to discuss next week’s schedule, and once he gave you a thumbs-up, the members would all file in and ‘discuss the latest album.’ 12 men filing in to talk at the same time about the same thing? totally not suspicious.

but somehow, this was the best bet you had. so now you were outside the universe factory with the members, waiting for jihoon’s manager to give a thumbs-up. after what felt like an eternity (it was 5 minutes), his manager emerged and gave a subtle thumbs-up.

this was truly starting to feel more and more stupid as the plan progressed.

“everyone ready?” whispered mingyu, and the others nodded in confirmation. slowly, they all started to file in, and you heard them greet jihoon. once all of them were inside, you slowly peeped in to see them form a subtle wall between jihoon and the back of the couch where you were planning to hide.

slowly, you crept in, crouching low and making your way toward the back of the couch. you heard the boys discuss concepts and styles they wanted to try out for the new album. from this angle, it looked like jihoon was undergoing an intervention, and you stifled a small giggle at the mental image. after making sure you were hidden properly behind the couch, you slowly peeked out from the side to see jihoon between jun’s and dino’s legs.

god, he looks so pretty, were your first thoughts. it had been 8 months since you last saw him in person, felt his touch, and kissed his lips. you wanted nothing more than for this plan to be over so you could kiss your boyfriend. you slid back into your hiding spot and texted soonyoung that you were in place. you heard his phone buzz and received a thumbs-up in response.

the members slowly started to wrap up their ‘discussion’ and leave the studio after making some kind of excuse. if jihoon noticed their weird behavior, he sure as hell didn’t comment on it. once all the members left, you slowly peeked out again to see jihoon turned to his computer with his headphones in place. you could hear the loud bass from his headphones and made a mental note to reprimand him about it later.

you crawled from your hiding spot toward jihoon’s chair. from your position, you saw seokmin, soonyoung, and seungkwan hiding behind a partially obstructive door, phones already recording. you quietly rose to your feet, making sure not to touch anything that could alert him to your presence. you leaned down and pressed a small kiss to his cheek.

“happy birthday, baby.”

jihoon jumped from his chair, arms raised to fight whoever broke in. his sudden movement shook you off balance, and you grabbed his now discarded chair to stabilize yourself.

“calm down—it’s me!” you exclaimed, giggling at his confused face.

“y/n,” jihoon blinked, lowering his hands, “what..? i don’t...?”

you heard booseoksoon giggling outside and yelled at them to leave you two alone. once you heard the door click shut, you got closer to jihoon, pressing another kiss to his nose.

“yes, y/n, you dork.”

“you’re here.”

“mhm.”

“you’re actually here? i’m not, like, hallucinating or anything, right?” jihoon blinked, trying to figure out what was happening, making you giggle.

“yes, yes, i’m actually here.”

upon hearing this, jihoon grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer, nuzzling his face into your neck. “what are you doing here? you’re supposed to be back next week.”

“well, you see,” you hugged him tighter, “i finished the project early and had a lovely guy waiting for me on the other side of the world. and i wanted to celebrate his birthday with him.”

“you did this all for me?” he breathed out.

“of course. who else would i do this for?”

jihoon shook his head, falling back into his chair and dragging you to straddle him.

“god, i fucking missed you,” he said, pulling you in for a heated kiss.

all the months of missing, yearning, and longing manifested in desperate kisses shared between the two of you. you slid your fingers into his hair while his found home in the curve of your waist, pulling you into him. jihoon slid his tongue into your mouth while you started to slowly grind yourself against him. he let out a moan, prompting you to keep grinding, feeling yourself heat at the core. jihoon’s moans grew louder as you felt him harden below you.

“wait,” you pulled back breathless, “not yet.”

“mhmm..?” jihoon made a confused sound at the lack of contact. his eyes were blown with desire, and his fingers held you close, almost as if he were worried you’d disappear.

“i want to give you your first birthday present,” you smirked mischievously, getting off his lap and kneeling in front of him.

“what are you...oh.”

jihoon leaned back, a sigh escaping his lips. “well, happy fucking birthday to me.”

and after a series of birthday ‘gifts,’ it was indeed a happy birthday.

a/n: heh sorry for teasing but I really do wish 100000/10 that jihoon gets the best birthday head he deserves one so bad (I volunteer as tribute-)

[vinxle]

clocks are set by 12 system, so it would be 2:08pm in am/pm time.

if i had to make a guess, maybe chapter 208 is where they plan to end tbhk?? or something significant to mitsuba's character arc will happen that chapter?

i find it unlikely though, i feel like tbhk is coming to a close soon, but if we get up to chapter 208 i think it will be a very important chapter for mitsuba.

Seeing Sousuke's room genuinely makes me so sad. His desk looks like it's remained untouched after his death. As if it's waiting for him to return and finish his school work.

[onlyjjong]

엔하이픈 --- EMAILS I NEVER MEANT TO SEND (PART 4)

　　 박성훈　 x　 fem!reader　x 　심재윤 　　┊　　a very late and long birthday gift for jennifer!! :> 　　┊　　 wc 2.7k

GENERE　┊ 　!oneshot, !nonidol , !fluff , !hints of angst , !high school, !childhood best friends to lovers , !best friend's brother , !love triangle , !hockey player sunghoon , !basketball player jake , !academic weapon reader

DISCLAIMER 　┊ 　depictions may be inaccurate , contains swear words, mentions of hospital and sickness, y/n is lee heeseung's sister , sunghoon calls y/n 'princess' , y/n calls jake 'jaeyun' , mentions of ocs and random characters here and there.

⟡ 📩 𑁋 TAGGING : @a-dream-bookmark , @/k-labels , @k-nets , @k-films , @en-diaries

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Dear Sunghoon,

I’m so nervous. On Tuesday, we’ll have the orchestra concert—and Miss Jeon, this morning, had suddenly told me that I have to replace Gaeul as concertmaster as she had an accident, broke her leg and was hospitalised, so she can’t play. I went to visit Gaeul just now, and she told me not to feel bad because I’m replacing her, but rather that I should feel proud because Miss Jeon knows that I’m capable enough to be a good concertmaster. 

I don’t know… I don’t know if I’ll play well enough.

Sent 10:12 AM, 20th October.

You adjust your sitting posture, taking a deep breath of the fresh air around you. You had walked over to the park to clear your thoughts. The concert that you’re going to play in as concertmaster is coming in less than two days, and since it is the biggest concert you’ve ever played in, you’re more nervous than you ever were. 

The weather is getting colder and colder with each passing day as winter approaches—so, even though your panicking thoughts prevented you from dressing as warmly you wished you did, you did at least wear one of Heeseung’s hoodies. 

Though, you kind of regret not grabbing a thicker coat. 

“Y/N!” you hear Jake’s voice, and as you look up, he’s already making his way towards you. 

“Hi,” he smiles as he greets you. “What are you doing out here alone? Without a coat, too.”

You shove your hands into the pockets of the hoodie, grinning sheepishly. “It’s okay, it’s not too cold.”

“You okay?” he asks as he takes a seat next to you. Jake looks a tad bit reluctant to do so, but the tension present in his features relaxes a little as you give him a reassuring smile. “You look a little off right now—I-I mean, like, you don’t have that kind of confidence I’d always see in your eyes, and your smile is less enthusiastic too–”

You laugh, patting Jake’s arm. “Okay, okay, I get it.”

Jake looks at you, his eyes filled with adoration. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s October, but lately, he’s constantly thinking about you. Recently, all he’s curious about is if you’ve eaten, if you’re taking good care of yourself, if you’re feeling okay. 

Though, Jake knows that he’s just a friend. Jake knows, perfectly enough, that he’s just your deskmate, who you talk to only out of courtesy or when Sunghoon’s away. 

October is the month of plot twists and surprises, and for Jake, it is wishing that you would see him as something more. 

“I’m just wondering,” you begin, “if I’ll do good enough for the concert. I’m really, really nervous. I feel like my heart’s about to burst.”

“Oh?” Jake tilts his head slightly. “I think you’ll do okay.”

You lower your head. “I don’t think ‘okay’ is enough. I need this to be perfect—it’s my last orchestra concert, and-and I don’t think I’ve been practising as much as I wanted to, with all the studying–”

Jake grabs your hand and places it on his racing heart. Lub dub. Lub dub. Lub dub.  “Here. Can you feel it?”

Too flustered—both from the sudden form of intimacy and the feeling of Jake’s heartbeats—to form any words, you simply nod. 

“This is how I feel every single time a basketball match is about to start, or whenever I’m with someone I enjoy being around,” Jake continues, “it’s as if my heart is running faster than I do… but anyway, my point is that it’s okay to feel nervous, even when you’re doing something you’ve done so many times. You’ve worked hard for this concert, right?”

Jake looks at you, directly in the eye, and he gives you a gentle smile. It’s reassuring and comforting, conveying to you more than his words did. 

“Yeah,” you mumble. 

“Then, you don’t have to be afraid,” Jake says, “you’ll do well—just like you always do. If you don’t believe in that, it’s okay. Just know that I believe in you. A lot of people do.”

“Thank you, Jaeyun,” you sigh, after taking a few minutes to process Jake’s words—and the fact that you’re sitting there, with him, hand in hand. 

It gives you tingles, exciting your nerves—Jake’s presence is gentle and warm, even if it’s a little sudden and abrupt. You enjoy being around him, and seeing another side to the well-known basketball talent—who’s always seen as someone who is carefree and laid-back. Honestly, you’re surprised to find out that the caring side of Jake was so much more than just smiling frequently at people. You’re surprised to find that Jake is a soul made out of compassion and kindness, and you’re ever so grateful to befriend someone like him. 

“My pleasure,” he replies, squeezing your hand once. “I’m-I’m glad to be of help.”

You let go of his hand, standing up. “I’m going to go home and practise some more,” you tell Jake, who’s listening to you attentively. “I’ll see you later?”

“Alright—you don’t want me to walk you home?”

You shake your head, “it’s okay, I can manage.”

Jake nods, and waves you goodbye. 

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Today’s the day of the concert. I’m very scared, but I’ll try to shrug it off. I woke up super early today, despite not being able to sleep that well last night. I’m all dressed, I did my hair and makeup for school; I even have the dress for the concert all ready. I already double checked my violin and memorised my music sheets (even though I’ll be having them on display for the concert later)... but I just still feel so anxious.

Help me, Sunghoon, I don’t know what to do.

Sent 6:32 AM, 22nd October.

“Hi, Y/N,” Jake greets you, knocking you out of your train of thought. You look to your side and see him hopping off his bicycle, pushing it slowly to match your walking pace. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” you smile back, your cheeks itching due to the insincerity of the smile. “Where’s Danielle?” 

“She’s still at home,” Jake answers, “we don’t live too far away, so she’s always out at around half past seven.”

You nod, aware of what he’s talking about. “I see. Why are you out so early, though? It’s only seven o’clock.”

Jake chuckles. “Well I figured I had to start out early to catch up with you. Turns out my timing is perfect today. I always catch you at school already.”

“Yeah,” you give him a courteous smile. “I noticed that too.”

“So, how’ve you been doing?” Jake asks, after around five minutes of silence.  

“I’m fine,” you simply say. You’re lying, as who would be absolutely fine when they’ve got an extremely important and big event coming up in a few hours? Though, you didn’t feel the need to explain to Jake. 

“Are you?” he counters, an eyebrow raised in the following. “I’m really amazed if you truly are, considering that you’ve been balancing studying for midterms and national entrance exams—which at the same time, you’ve also been practising violin.”

You choke out some laughter. “You’ve been observant of me, huh? Don’t think that’s a little creepy?”

Satisfaction and a little bit of guilt washes through you as you delightfully watch Jake’s eyes widen. “I-oh my,” he stumbles over his words the same way he’s tripping on air out of pure embarrassment. He quickly catches up with you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come off as a creep, Y/N. I’m just quite… observant, that’s all.”

You chortle, feeling in the mood to tease the five feet nine inches dude walking beside you. “Are you?” you tease, mimicking his accent and the way he said it to you earlier, “then, Jaeyun, tell me what are the ten enzymes in the glycolysis process?”

Jake’s jaw drops wide open. “I-I mean–”

You burst out laughing, clutching your stomach to prevent it from bursting. “Gotcha. Knew you weren’t thoroughly observant.”

“Hey! That isn’t fair, you’re asking me about biology,” Jake pouts. “Who on earth would pay attention in Mrs Nelly’s class?”

“Y/N would.”

You pause in your tracks, shock sending chills throughout your body as you feel Sunghoon’s voice to your right. You look in his direction, and he’s already walking in synchronisation of your tempo. Sunghoon slides his arm around your shoulder, giving you a grin. “Good morning, princess,” he says casually. 

 You clear your throat, your cheeks coloured pink at the close vicinity. “Good morning, Hoon.”

“Good morning, Sunghoon,” Jake says plainly. 

“Oh, Jake?” Sunghoon tilts his head, giving the basketball jock a taunting yet innocent look—as if he’s just noticed his presence. “G’morning.” 

You manage to catch a glimpse of Sunghoon’s smug face: his left eyebrow raised and his slight  smile was evidently one-sided—directed straight to Jake. 

“Have you eaten breakfast, princess?” Sunghoon asks, turning back to you.

You shake your head, flexing your shoulders to adjust the position of both your backpack and your violin case backpack. “I don’t have the appetite.”

Both Sunghoon and Jake form a perplexed look simultaneously. Sunghoon smacks the back of your head feebly, rolling his eyes. “Yah! What did I tell you? Eat your breakfast!” he scolds, “do you want me to die?”

“What does my breakfast have to do with you dying?” you retort. 

“Well–” your best friend of 13 years pauses. “It doesn’t matter, but, c’mon,” he changes the topic, grabbing your hand. He glances at Jake, who’s biting his lips shut, before dragging you away. “Let’s get to school early so we can grab some breakfast.”

“Oomf–” you manage, stumbling. “See you later, Jaeyun!” you give Jake a wave with your free hand. Jake forms a smile upon seeing it, and in return, he waves. 

　　 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ˚　　 ▒ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ₊ㅤ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Ⳋ᧙ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ⁺

“ARE YOU NERVOUS?” SUNGHOON ASKS AS THE TWO OF YOU ARE PACKING YOUR BAGS AT THE END OF THE DAY’S LESSONS. 

“Well, if you can’t tell,” you joke, zipping your school backpack shut. “Yes.”

Sunghoon runs a hand through his hair, smiling meekly. “I mean, you’re so good at the violin, so I didn’t think you’d be nervous.”

“Are you insane?” you gasp, smacking the 12th grader’s head. He blocks your hit effortlessly with his arm. “It’s my biggest concert as a freaking concertmaster!”

Sunghoon grins. “So? You’re going to ace it either way,” he grabs you, and before you could react, puts you in a headlock. “Won’t you?”

“Hey!” you scream, frantically pulling yourself away from him. Luckily for you, his grip is purposefully loose, so you quickly stand back on your feet. “What was that for?”

Sunghoon merely smiles—it’s gentler and comforting this time—as if he’s silently reassuring you that everything will go just fine. 

“Y/N,” Jake calls, shattering the moment you’re having with Sunghoon. You quickly turn to face him, unaware of the grim change in Sunghoon’s expression. Jake hands you a canned ice lemon tea. “Here, um, I don’t know if you like lemon tea or not–”

“I do!” you animatedly beam. Jake sighs in gratitude.

“–thank God. anyway, um, I got these for you… my grandma said that tea’s good for calming your nerves down,” Jake continues. 

“The sugar will make her energetic anyway,” you hear Sunghoon mutter grumpily behind you. You’re not sure if Jake hears it, because the smile on his face is unwavering. 

“Thanks,” you say. Jake nods, and before he can say anything in reply, Sunghoon snatches the can of ice lemon tea in your hand. 

“This looks good,” he muses, his smirk evident. You turn towards him, confused. What is he really trying to do? “I’m gonna have some, eh?”

You wear your backpack, shrugging. “You do you, Park Sunghoon. I’m going to go now, I’ve got to get ready for the concert.”

“Wait up!” Sunghoon exclaims, running after you. 

　　 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ˚　　 ▒ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ₊ㅤ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Ⳋ᧙ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ⁺

SUNGHOON RUNS INTO THE WAITING AREA, 15 MINUTES BEFORE THE CONCERT STARTS. He tries to spot you—or simply anyone he knows to help him find you. He sees plenty of people: a group of violinists, another group of people tuning their cellos and violas. His eyes scan through the crowd, and spots you in a corner, pacing here and there to calm yourself down.  

“Y/N,” he says, a little softer than he intended. You turn around—the ankle-length black skirt creating a flower around you as it swirls, your hair gently hitting your face. Sunghoon clears his throat in an attempt to drive away the fluttering butterflies in his stomach. 

“Oh, you look beautiful,” he blurts out, leaving you wide-eyed and as flustered as he is. 

“T-thanks,” you manage. 

Sunghoon takes a deep breath, hesitating at the last minute. He brings out his arms and pulls you into a hug, embracing you in his warmth; at the same time stepping over the line he’s placed between himself and you. He lingers around longer than you expect him to, and when he finally pulls away, the tip of his ears are flushed red. 

“You’ll do great,” Sunghoon whispers, squeezing your shoulders in hopes of channelling the confidence he has in your ability, to you. “I know that.”

You smile warmly at him. 

This is why you can’t stop falling in love with him—Park Sunghoon—your own best friend. He knows you so well, probably even more than you know yourself. He knows exactly when you need anything, and perfectly how you need things. He makes you feel like it’s so easy to befriend you—like loving you is the easiest thing in the world, even if it was platonic. 

Everything is simple and easy when you’re with Sunghoon. 

　　 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ˚　　 ▒ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ₊ㅤ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Ⳋ᧙ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ⁺

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Dear Sunghoon, 

I hope you’re doing okay. National state exams are coming in less than a week, and I’m a total nervous wreck. I’ve been studying every single day, but I don’t know… I wish I planned things out better. I don’t know if I’ve memorised everything, if I’ve reviewed everything, and if I’ve done enough practice questions. 

I’m laughing at myself right now. So ironic, right? I’m Decelis Academy’s prodigy, the so-called “academic weapon” of our school, but I can’t even get studying right. 

I haven’t been studying properly these past few days. I can’t even open my eyes… my head hurts and nothing makes sense. I don’t know, Sunghoon. I wish burnout didn’t exist. And I sincerely hope that you’re not going through the same thing as me. 

Sent 12:48 PM, 9th November. 

　　 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ˚　　 ▒ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ₊ㅤ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Ⳋ᧙ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ⁺

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com

Hoon,

Why am I like this? Why can’t I study properly? Every passing minute I feel more like a failure. Why can’t I memorise anything? I’m so dumb. So stupid. 

I don’t know anymore.

Sent 8:03 AM, 10th November.

Sunghoon grabs a coat and quickly heads out of his house, desperate to get fresh air. Studying has gotten his head clogged, and for the first time in a while, he believes that burnout is real. He hasn’t even been to two weeks of hockey practice, and that is significant for someone like Sunghoon. 

He grabs his smartphone out of his pocket and opens one of the only pinned contacts in his messages—you. He’s worried; you haven’t texted him back in three days. And knowing you, Sunghoon guesses that you probably forgot to respond to him due to your intense studying. 

Since he’s already out and about to talk a walk, he might as well grab a refresher or two and visit you. Sunghoon stops by a cafe near your school, one that he specifically knew to always have your favourite strawberry danish. He buys two of them along with two cups of lemon sprite, swiftly catching a taxi to arrive at your house faster. 

After sitting down, Sunghoon texts you. 

　　 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ hey, have you had lunch?

And to his surprise, he gets a response within three minutes. 

Though, it wasn’t from you. 

　　 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ sunghoon, this is heeseung

　　 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ y/n’s in the hospital

　　 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ she collapsed 

　　 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ the doctor said it’s bc she hasn’t eaten the past few days

Sunghoon feels his heart stop for a split second. His world starts spinning as his eyes widen in shock. His hands start to shake, making it hard for him to type a response to Heeseung. Fear starts to creep up on him, and malicious thoughts fill his brain. 

Sunghoon shakily calls out to the driver to change the route and bring him to the hospital—his heart banging loudly against his chest every second of it.

　　　 teaser 　　　　　┊　　　　　　previous 　　　　　　┊　　　　　　next

― © onlyjjong, 2024.

⟡ 🎧 𑁋 ‘EMAILS I NEVER MEANT TO SEND’ TAGLIST! (OPEN) : send an ask to be added! @flwrstqr , @coqhee , @tzyunaes , @junislqve , @helenngxz , @nenesz , @rikiscarf , @machambrx , @vixialuvs , @ritahyelee-blog , @hveanlyanqelic , @questionsdearreader , @jiiyen , @somuchdard , @miniature-tragedy , @firstclassjaylee , @seuliecore , @joieouioui , @prettyange1 , @srehkoo , @amazingpersonever , @kyshhhhhh

⟡ 📬 𑁋 𝓛𝐈𝐋𝐈's PERMANENT TAGLIST! (OPEN) : send an ask to be added! @flwrstqr , @junislqve , @tzyunaes , @who-tf-soddhi , @wonsdoll , @blvengene , @nxzz-skz , @amazingpersonever

[dreamsofmoney]

-> L&DS Men as catboys ! x reader - Headcanons

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹. ฅ^.ᆺ.^ฅ

―୨୧⋆ ˚. Inspired from the current in-game event obviously, a bunch of headcanons imagining what it's like for you to leave everyday with them as catboys.

SFW, gn! Reader, very fluffy, cute and domestic, lots of comfort, just talking about what kind of cat they are, what personality they have, their habits and hobbies, their relationship with reader etc. Just a little CW for Sylus's part where I talk about dead animals and his sadistic tendencies, because it's Sylus after all.

ฅ≽^•⩊•^≼ฅ 𓆝 ✮彡🐾~ enter ! ~🐾✮彡 𓆞 ฅ^>⩊<^ฅ

XAVIER ᡣ𐭩

• Not much of a surprise if I tell you that catboy Xavier is the most chill and sleepy cat ever.

• He sleeps for around 12 to 15 hours a day, and 12 hours is really the minimum, otherwise he gets grumpy.

• I imagine him to be either a British shorthair or a Ragdoll. Probably more of a Ragdoll because of his blue eyes and how chill he is, but the roundness of a British shorthair also fits him in my opinion. You can carry a Ragdoll, lift it up, move it around and yet the cat stays very relaxed most of the time. I think Xavier is similar in that sense, he doesn't really budge no matter what you do. You can poke him, pet him, scratch him, cup his face, give him belly rubs, annoy him by breathing on his ears, yap for hours next to him and he has to listen to you, carry him around whatever you want, and he won't say much, he'll be as limp as a mop.

• Cat Xavier considers you as the only person with whom he feels fully comfortable. There's nobody else but you to make him feel safe enough to put his guard down and relinquish his wary personality.

• Therefore, for cat Xavier, as long as he can spend time next to you, safe and sound in the comfort of your warm mutual home and safe place, the rest does not matter much.

• So he is very easy-going with pretty much anything. However, as much as he is compliant and he never complains, that does not mean he won't hold a grudge against you for what you have done. Cat Xavier, just like any cat, has his limits, the only difference is that he is more tolerant with your bullshit than most cats.

• But he'll let you know when he is upset at you because you either went too far, you bothered him a little too much or he was missing you too much because you were away for too long. He's not very mean, he just gets very pouty and he sulks in his little corner, ignoring you for a while. (like 10 minutes lol) Sometimes he can gently tease with humour about you doing something wrong, but he'll always accept your apologies and he'll forgive you.

• Cat Xavier has a preference for the particularly warmest places of the house, which are sometimes a little strange. It goes from his little cushion/bed, to the pile of pillows and plushies, then to the closet with your clothes inside, literally on top of the freakin' radiator, inside the washing machine's drum, and finally ; and most importantly, your belly <3.

• Cat Xavier absolutely loves sleeping on your belly, or just sleeping on any body parts of yours in general, or even just laying there putting half of his weight on top of you for no reason other than appreciating the warmth of your body. In his daily life, it's very important for him to constantly have physical contact with you, it could be just a light brushing of his tail around your body, or a well-deserved pat on the head, a little rub on your arm or leg, or better : his very favorite scratches around his ears.

• He's not a loud cat at all, very quiet and rarely ever makes noise except for purring. The only downside is that sometimes when you call him and he doesn't answer because he is sleeping or quietly focused on his activity, then you have to search for him everywhere around the house, while imagining the worst case scenarios. It's very stressful.

• His favorite hobbies include napping, getting pets and scratches around his ears from you, playing video games and board games, reading, eating fried chicken, finding new napping spots around the house, cuddling on the couch with you, and bathing. He is definitely an only indoor cat, I believe. Rarely, he accepts going outside with you for a stroll at a calm park or to do some grocery shopping.

• Yes! Catboy Xavier likes bathing! He is one of those rare cats who actually appreciates being washed with warm water. He likes swimming in it too, as long as it's very warm.

• When it comes to what he doesn't like ; Xavier despises getting his claws trimmed, being cold and coming in contact with cold stuff, rain, you being away for multiple days, and being brushed.

• But you absolutely have to brush him or else your home would be covered with white fur everywhere. His fur is quite thick and fluffy and he sheds a lot. He knows that well, so he'll stay patient and won't complain, but deep inside he really wants to escape the brush.

• Cat Xavier is a very obedient cat, he can be just a bit reluctant to do certain things when he doesn't appreciate them or when he feels very lazy (just like anyone). But he won't be stubborn about it and eventually he'll give in.

• He is a little bit of a glutton, you have to hide away some food or else he'll eat almost everything and then he will have a stomach ache, whining about the consequences of his own actions. Secretly, he does try to steal some food from time to time by avoiding your surveillance and unfortunately for you, it works.

• Cat Xavier is not a mischievous cat tho, he doesn't play tricks or tries to mess things up, in fact he is so wise and well-behaved that he even learned to scratch his nails on nothing else but the cat tree you got him ; so your furniture was absolutely never damaged.

• Cat Xavier is usually a very lazy cat who doesn't push himself to hard when it comes to tasks. However, he does like to take care of your home and to partake in some little domestic activities alongside you, such as doing the laundry and changing the bedsheets after cleaning them ; even if he's not the most dutiful, he is willing to accomplish those things if it means making you proud of him.

• For example, a nice attention of his is to do little tasks around the house while you're not there or while you are resting, in hopes that you'll praise him or that you'll reward him later. Like watering the plants or picking up the trash.

• And that's it, don't expect him to do more than that. Catboy Xavier is too lazy to do something that requires too much effort, either mental or physical.

• Instead, what you can expect out of him everyday is his ability to monopolize the sofa and keep it warm by doing so. Reaching his arms to you with open hands, demanding a cuddle or a pet out of you, you don't know which exactly, but you just gotta approach him a little bit and you'll know soon enough when he'll lock you in his embrace and he'll nuzzle his face against you.

• Catboy Xavier looks up at you, with no words out of his mouth you can still identify this typical naive pleading look of his ; the one that says "please, give me your affection too".

• Basically, Xavier as a catboy is a very quiet, well-behaved, cuddly and clingy companion, who appreciates nothing more and nothing less, than the domesticity of indoor activities and the comforting warmth of your presence.

≽ܫ≼ ⋆˚🐾˖°

ZAYNE ᡣ𐭩

• Catboy Zayne is, as expected, a very calm pet and a good caretaker of your home, one who rarely ever complains and who does his work dutifully.

• Catboy Xavier is like a true perfect butler who takes care of everything. Or maybe more like a maide actually. He takes care of all the tasks around the house ; cleaning, sweeping, cooking, ironing, washing, folding, refreshing, repairing, doing the laundry, collecting the trash, making the bed etc. He takes care of your garden too, gets rid of the weeds, gives a cut to your plants after watering them. He also manages your paperwork and your schedule (such as your taxes). And of course he takes care of you and your health, helping you relax when you need to, advising you proper medication and sometimes provides a massage as a supplement. He's basically an excellent handyman, the perfect man you could imagine, always ready to be at your service, and not because he is forced to but because he genuinely believes it is his obligation. Catboy Zayne loves to take care of everything for you; for him it is a synonym of taking care of you too.

• Therefore, it's very comforting to live alongside him when all the sheets and clothes smell fresh and clean, every room is perfectly dusted and neatly organized, the flowers are beautiful and lively, the meals are delicious and nutritious, and a cat is there to greet you every morning when you wake up and every night when you come back home.

• Although, what you don't know, is that housework isn't only the way for him to take care of you, it is also his way to indulge in his obsession with you. Cat Zayne is obsessed with your scent and he loves holding on to everything that belongs to you ; so much so that doing housework becomes a pretense for him to indulge in his guilty pleasure.

• Every time he grasps in his hands an object you own, he feels content with the idea that he is sharing it with you, that everything which is yours is now also his, that everything you have touched is linked to him when he touches them. Sometimes he even keeps a few insignificant trinkets that he puts in a little box, dedicated to your items. Every time he is folding your clothes, he inhales a few of them, feeling satisfied with how good his owner smells. He previously questioned himself if what he was doing was perverted and wrong, but he estimated that it was not since he has no sexual interest in it. And it might be a little dirty and weird, but truly, he is just merely enjoying your scent because he loves you and misses you so much while he works, nothing more and nothing less.

• As you would expect he never ever tells you about all of this, and somehow you never really notice his strange behavior. He isn't ashamed of the passion he has for you, but he is a little scared you might take your distance with him after knowing about it while he kept it as a secret for so long. Moreover, he is terrified that you'll consider him a bad and unruly pet.

• His slight obsessiveness also translates into him watching over you constantly when you don't notice it, particularly when you have your back turned away from him. Cat Zayne is constantly surveiling you and that is also his own way of taking care of you ; he could be behind the corner of your bedroom's door without you knowing and looking at you discreetly because he doesn't want to disturb you, he could be looking at you through the window while you enjoy some time in the garden, or he could be silently watching over you when you are working, passing behind you multiple times to observe what you do with curiosity and to admire your figure. It might seem really creepy but it isn't (please believe me). Catboy Zayne observes you a lot but not in a controlling manner, it's more of a constant admiration and curiosity towards you. Think of those cats who follow you when you go to the toilets for example, it is strange but it's usually out of care and appreciation. Similarly, cat Zayne appreciates watching you from afar, because he knows most of the time he's too busy and shy to get closer to you.

• He watches you so often, that he developed a certain skill to know in advance what you are going to do and what you are going to say sometimes. For example, he is quick to catch a glass or a mug you accidentally knocked, based on your position and his prediction of your next movements, as you angrily tell him what your boss did today. Or he warns you when you are about to bump your head onto the door-frame as he puts his hand over it. Or he can also complete some of your sentences when you converse with him.

• In general, cat Zayne is very quick to react and possesses good reflexes. Probably the most skilled out of all the catboys.

• In all logic, he is also very meticulous, which goes along with his responsibilities and his carefulness around you.

• Catboy Zayne has a certain degree of obsession with order and perfection ; if your home would be a mess, he would never forgive himself, as he considers it his duty to take care of the safe and harmonious place for your well-being.

• You tend to worry about his own well-being when you witness him working so much, so you try to help him to relieve him of his workload. Zayne appreciates the gesture, but he still insists on putting you aside so that you can let him take the matters in his hands.

• Instead, you suggest him to take some time off more often, and encourage him to develop his hobbies in his free-time.

• Catboy Zayne rarely allows himself to take breaks, but with time he does start to develop certain hobbies (outside of the obsessive ones), supported by the enthusiasm of your encouragement. As a result, he started to read more often, to play chess, to play with a few feathery toys you bought him, to listen to music, to run outside, to contemplate the birds and the shining sun by the window, and most importantly, he takes advantage of this precious time to stay glued to you.

• As much as he is shy and discreet around you, catboy Zayne is most definitely a very cuddly cat who loves being held in your arms. Most definitely a Main coon in my opinion, and I cannot imagine him as any other breed other than this one. Main coons are known to be giant cats with a very long and thick fur, big pointy ears, as well as a very big fluffy tail too. Paradoxical to their size and their fit body, they're usually not very courageous and physically strong cats, nor do they have a particular inclination to outdoor activities. Instead, they prefer living a comfortable life without too much physical effort, just enough to explore a little and satisfy their curiosity, while they enjoy their leisurely activities at home most of the time. They are also very cuddly and affectionate, they love to have lazy cuddle sessions. Thus, I believe catboy Zayne would be more similar to this breed both physically and in terms of personality.

• So typically like a Main coon, cat Zayne is very cuddly and he is definitely not a courageous cat outdoors. He doesn't hunt, he only goes out when it's sunny and when he's not too busy, and he would much rather stay inside with you to continue observing you.

• Since he doesn't have a lot of time off, you can be sure he'll be really clingy when he has the opportunity to do so. It's his most favorite activity, to just lay with you and cuddle in bed or on the couch, or really just anywhere in the house. He also wants to be held and picked up but it can be a little difficult considering his size and weight. He can be a little suffocating, because he constantly lays on top of you when you sleep and rubs himself on you to smell you and leave his scent above, which are signs of great possessiveness over you. But if you tell him to stop, he will. Cat Zayne wants to be the most obedient cat in all circumstances.

• Actually, at any of your orders cat Zayne will listen and execute those orders of yours immediately. He doesn't listen to anybody else, only you. Not that he meets a lot of people anyway, since he prefers to stay at home during 90% of his time, but even if he would, he'd feel very uneasy around new people.

• I guess he is sort of a "scaredy cat", if you could call him like that. He is scared of strangers and gets easily startled by sudden movements or by very loud noises, it makes him wince and cover his ears because of his highly sensitive hearing.

• Catboy Zayne dislikes anything which disturbs his tranquility. Meaning : sudden or brutal movements like a door closed by the wind, loud noises like the honking of cars, when he cannot get his work properly done, when it is stormy outside, thunderstorms, dogs barking, and the absolute worst being strangers coming over to your house.

• When a stranger invades your home, he hides pathetically in a closet or under your bed, far away from the menace, and he only comes out once it goes away.

• To make up for the mental disturbance of this event, Catboy Zayne tends to come over to you, and it's one of those rare times when he allows himself to be visibly vulnerable around you, by asking you to comfort him. Sometimes he doesn't even say it verbally, he just silently approaches you, and after so much time spent living alongside him, you can already guess he is feeling unwell by just looking at his expression, and you know exactly what to do.

• The only thing which could revitalize him is you and your cuddles, and the only other thing which could do the same is : salmon. Salmon being cat Zayne's favorite meal and you being aware about it, you decide to cook for him a big juicy piece of salmon.

• It's probably more than just the salmon that he finds comforting ; it is the fact that you act so patiently and you take your time to cook for him, it is the special and meticulous attention of yours to make it the most delicious meal, it is the kindness and altruism of your action. Basically, it is the fact that he witnesses you being good, amazing even, at taking care of him, at imitating the way he usually acts ; while you are supposed to be the one that he serves. Zayne is reminded that, as him being your pet and as you being his owner, the roles should be reversed from time to time, and he can definitely count on you to be a good caretaker for him.

• Zayne as a catboy is an obedient and attentive pet, one who perfectly accomplishes his obligations and who greatly takes care of his owner, because he immensely cherishes them. But in reality, he is a gentle giant who needs a lot of comfort and care too.

≽ܫ≼ ⋆˚🐾˖°

RAFAYEL ᡣ𐭩

• Catboy Rafayel is a very playful and active kind of cat. Probably one the most energetic cats out of them all.

• He is a goofball, he likes to play with various things such as : toys, furniture that he can scratch, your hair, your hands, your legs, a bunch of random trinkets you buy that he likes to push to the edge until it drops to the ground.

• He is playful but he is not a meanie, therefore he won't purposely play with something which is too valuable to you or something which looks too fragile to be played with, at the risk of breaking it. And catboy Rafayel is a very witty cat with good observation skills, and an excellent capacity at understanding his surroundings to easily identify exactly those objects.

• However, occasionally they do break. Rafayel immediately apologizes and begs for forgiveness, teary eyed and feeling guilty for overestimating his judgment capacities. You, of course, forgive him ; no little trinket is more important than your precious kitty.

• His playfulness also consists of him teasing you a little bit. Again, not in a mean way, but just enough to catch your attention. For example, he'll brush his tail under your nose, he'll rub himself all over you, he will run around your legs for no reason, he'll lightly push his claws inside your arm, not enough to hurt you but enough to mark it with punctured dots. Or he will call you ridiculous nicknames that only he finds funny.

• In general, cat Rafayel is a harmless being, he could never hurt you or any living thing, not even a fly. He knows how to use his fangs and claws if he really feels in danger, just like any adult cat, but he tends to be naive and wimpy. Therefore he's not really alert enough to raise his guard fast enough in some situations, and you have to intervene to protect him instead. The advantage is that when he grabs your arm or leg, bites it and scratches it like a madman, it doesn't hurt at all, it's like those kittens who try to act fiercely.

• Cat Rafayel is definitely more of an outdoor cat. Home for him is the place where he knows he can always return safely to. Home is the place where he can sleep, eat, leisurely rest, and selfishly enjoy all of your attention all for himself. He requires it almost constantly and orders you around for things he wants. Which doesn't mean you necessarily indulge in his requests, but he'll continue to meow, whine and act needy in hopes you accept, until eventually he gives up, and just an hour later he'll already forget about it.

• Cat Rafayel being essentially an outdoor cat means he loves exploring nature, laying in the grass, sunbathing, and hunting. Now, he's not a very good hunter, but nothing makes him prouder than bringing you an object he found (like a little trinket to make himself forgiven) or a little prey he caught between his claws. It's usually a small lizard or a baby mouse. Birds are too fast for him. He never kills them because he feels too bad about it, so he only brings it to you and then releases the poor creature. One time, he brought you a big rat, his biggest catch, then you had to eradicate it from your place and it took a whole week...

• Ah also, he is surprisingly a very good swimmer who's not afraid of the water at all. The bath isn't his favorite thing but he tolerates it since it helps him to be clean, and ironically, later on you see him literally swimming in the lake nearby.

• Indoors, he likes painting of course, crafting little gifts for you, sleeping with you when he comes back home, playing with you, fetch the ball and bring it back to you, watching movies and series, as well as wild life documentaries, especially the ones about fish and other oceanic species.

• Noticing his interest in this very specific topic, you decide to buy him an aquarium full of little fishies, specifically made out for little kitties like him to put their paws in from the top, catch a fish and eat it. However, cat Rafayel only plays with them and stays there watching them for hours on end.

• It turns out he categorically refuses to eat fish. How strange... He's quite a picky eater of a cat. Instead, he only accepts eating other kinds of meat, especially turkey meat being his favorite. He's also addicted to these little cat treats you give him after you play with him or after learning him a trick.

• Other things he dislikes are : getting dirty outside, staining his fur with paint, being bored and not entertained enough, breaking something or making a mistake you warned him not to do, when you don't play with him, when you don't pay attention to him, when you leave him alone at home.

• Catboy Rafayel hates staying at home alone so much, that he even begs to follow you when you leave the house, pretending he does it to protect you (even if you just go out for a 5 min walk). Accompanying you wherever you go is also one of his favorite things.

• You just have to understand that, Rafayel essentially lives for your attention and your care for him, he craves it all the time and if he doesn't get it, suddenly the walls of your house feel immensely suffocating.

• I think cat Rafayel is most similar to a Somali cat. It's a breed of cat with thin and long fur, large ears and a very fluffy tail ; a type of cat which is very energetic and lively, hence the need to go outside and to be regularly entertained with games. But most importantly, it is a breed of cat that is very VERY possessive of their owner ; as much as they like to have their independence, they value their owner more than anything and cannot stand being on their own for a long time. Similarly, cat Rafayel values your presence a lot and he doesn't know what to do anymore without you.

• He's not the most physically affectionate cat ; he accepts everything and he does like it when you pet him, hug him and give him little pecks since it shows him you pay attention to him, but he doesn't require it all the time, and he doesn't like when the petting sessions take too long, otherwise he gets bored. His favorite spot to be pet is around his neck.

• Catboy Rafayel is a very intelligent and observant cat I believe, he can easily discern when you are feeling unwell, either sad or mad or tired ; whatever it is, he can make out your emotions even if you don't verbally tell him.

• Therefore, catboy Rafayel is very good at comforting you, always in a very gentle way. He doesn't need you to tell him what happened if you don't want to, without that he can still wrap his body around you, embrace your figure and softly pat your head, with an additional kiss on your forehead if he has to wipe away your tears. And if you need to let it all out, of course he is also all ears for you, he can quietly sit while listening to you for as long as you need ; after all, if you're not feeling well enough, then he doesn't have anybody to play with.

• I think he'd lift up your spirits by bringing you to a nice spot outside, to have some fresh air and change your mind with something else, like seeing fireworks or going to the beach, or play with snow if it's winter, or jumping into puddles after the rain. After all, those are the activities that he likes to do, so naturally he wants to share them with you too.

• He could also comfort you by suggesting to do something for you. Although, he isn't the most skilled with his hands when it comes to doing something other than painting or crafting stuff. So if you tell him that you want him to cook, or take care of some stuff around the house, he'll do it but it's not certain it'll come out great. He really tries his best tho lol.

• For example, one morning he tried to make some pancakes with a fruit salad, scrambled eggs and bacon, tea and coffee and your favorite fruit juice. He decided he'll do everything on his own without your help, while you'll be sleeping, and then he'd be able to bring you an amazing plate right at your bed when you wake up, because he knew you were working a lot and you were very tired lately.

• Unfortunately, his plan didn't go as well as he thought ; he burnt the bacon, he couldn't even cook the eggs because he kept piercing them too hard with his claws and they would drop to the floor (it's hard to cook with these...), he cut his fingers multiple times while cutting the fruits, he teared apart the bag of flour while trying to open it, etc...

• Cat Rafayel felt so disappointed, all he had left was a tiny fruit salad, coffee and tea and a fruit juice to bring you. With his bandaged hand, he brings you the plate at your bed and looks down in embrassement, telling you he tried to make it better than this but he failed. That's when you notice a little heart made with cream on top of the coffee's foam, a sign of his hard work and dedication.

• Rafayel as a catboy is truly a dedicated pet to his owner, ready to do anything for them because they are the most essential being in his life. While he may sometimes act selfish, wimpy, clumsy, possessive and capricious ; his playful and witty personality is at the service of his one and only.

≽ܫ≼ ⋆˚🐾˖°

SYLUS ᡣ𐭩

• It's not very easy to live with Catboy Sylus, he's a very unruly cat, it is useless to expect him to act exactly like you want him to, to follow your orders or your advice, or to wait for him to come back home.

• Catboy Sylus is absent most of the time, busying himself with stuff that you don't even know about and roaming around only God knows where. You've tried to ask him about it sometimes but he refused to tell you anything. So you can only hope he comes back home safely every now and then, and that he doesn't act too recklessly outside.

• It worries you, because when he does come back home every 2 or 3 days, it's usually in the middle of the night or right at dawn, and occasionally his body is covered with scars and bruises. Most of the time it's nothing too serious, but you still have to take care of those, otherwise the veterinary bills would wreck your bank account.

• Most of his scars are rather small, but one of his ears is chipped off and he's got two big scars on his lower back, maybe from an opponent who tried to catch him from behind.

• Cat Sylus is most likely a moggy or a sort of unknown mixed breed ; a very tall cat with very pointy ears, short white and brownish fur, a short tail as well and an angular face. If I'd really try to assign him a certain cat breed, then he'd be most similar to a skinny Siamese or an Oriental shorthair, or some sort of mix of the two (both breeds are pretty similar anyway). But again, I imagine him more to be a moggy stray cat that you found one day, badly injured and alone in the streets, and brought home despite his unknown origins. He does have some similarities with the two breeds aforementioned ; he's very energetic and highly intelligent, you can never try to trick him and you can never put him down to calm him.

• For example, once you had to give him medication, on veterinary's orders, just one pill everyday. Such a tiny little thing to make him swallow just once at one moment of the day, yet a merciful battle. The only way to make him eat it was to negotiate with him ; for one pill swallowed, he was granted a chicken leg.

• It is rather strange to witness that cat Sylus has very carnal instincts, and it might be because he used to live in the dangerous streets, but then again he doesn't look like a cat with direct wild feline genes. Whatever it is, it causes him to require a strictly carnivore diet and he also has a refined palate, meaning he only accepts to eat the best quality meat, real whole meat that humans also eat instead of the foul processed stuff given to regular cats. Or worse, smelly biscuits as treats. He'd be greatly insulted if you gave him those.

• About his hobbies, you don't know exactly what he does outside except than fighting and hunting, but he is supposedly a very good fighter, and most certainly a very good hunter, considering how many dead animals he brings you. It can be small lizards, mice, rats and other rodents. He also brings birds quite often ; from a tiny sparrow to a very large starling or crow. Although he strangely never kills those unlike his other prey, he keeps them alive and leaves them injured in your care, like you don't have enough work taking care of him already...

• In any case, you do take care of these little birds, feeding them and keeping them at your home so they can rest and heal their wounds, until you can let them fly away when they are healthy enough. Their wounds are always shallow and never enough to kill them, but still hurtful enough to leave them immobilized, which makes you wonder if Sylus doesn't purposely hunt them this way to satisfy his cruel and sadistic tendencies. You see him standing next to these birds when they are in cage, quietly trying to rest, and for unknown reasons he doesn't attack them but he just sits there peacefully, admiring them. When you asked him about it and pointed out his cruel behavior, he got offended by your words and retorted that you mistakenly considered him as a blood thirsty creature because of your prejudice against him, and at those words he left by jumping out of the window.

• In contrast, at home, he is very tranquil and mostly quiet, except those few times when he chooses to meow very loudly to annoy you, other than that he rarely interacts with you. He usually keeps his distances from you and he sleeps at the top of his cat tree, or any other high spot that he can find at your place. You've never seen him sleep very soundly tho, you notice that he always stays half awake, keeping his guard up even inside your home, suspecting whoever might try to break in, and positioned at a strategical spot, ready to pounce on them.

• During those moments, it's best to stay away and not bother him, cat Sylus might hiss at you if you get too close when he wants to be alone, and he is usually not a cuddly cat. If you force him into pets or a hug he will definitely make you regret it. He does not hesitate to scratch or bite you, thus injuring you and letting blood gush out of your wound. However, you can sense that he doesn't use his full strength on you, he could hurt you much more if he wanted to, considering how strong and fierce he is, but you notice that he holds back to push his claws or fangs too deep into your skin, and he carefully avoids the most delicate parts of your body such as your face.

• Gradually, he becomes nicer around you and is more inclined to get closer to you. For example, he likes to rest next to you on the couch, while you watch the TV or read a book, and the background sound of the variety show or of the book's pages being turned lulls him to sleep. He also appreciates sitting on the counter top of your kitchen while you cook and make yourself some tea or coffee, the buzzing noise of the teapot and the crackling sounds of the pan's oil give him a peculiar feeling of familiarity, that he does not remember to have ever experienced before.

• Cat Sylus starts to take a liking into those pets you give him after a few months since you rescued him. When you argued that you cared for him and you loved him, and you were there for him no matter what, he started thinking that maybe you're right, maybe he could lower his guard a little more when he is at home, with only you and him. So now, he accepts getting pets every once in a while, mostly being caressed on his head and back, and getting head pats. He despises getting scratches, and don't you dare touch him anywhere else other than his back and head ; but other than that he likes your gentle and slow touch, one that he never had the privilege to deserve before because he was considered a bad cat.

• The more catboy Sylus gets comfortable around your home and around you, the more he starts acting in surprising ways. For example, he started smelling your potted flowers that you keep by your window while he watches over the street, seemingly pleased by their smell, and he doesn't even try to eat the leaves or play with them like most cats do. He also started appreciating the music you play on your vinyl, he likes everything but particularly jazz, r&b and some classical music. As another example, he started asking you if he can eat the exact same meals as you every day, especially if it's meat nicely seasoned and cooked. The more he'd spend time with you, the more he seemed to develop a certain refined and sophisticated taste.

• Overall, it turns out that Sylus respects your home a lot. He considers it a safe haven that he was extremely lucky to be brought to, so he'll never damage it and little by little he learns to love its little details that makes it such a special place for you and him. Like the flowers and plants, your collection of CDs and vinyls, a framed photo of you and a bunch of silly magnets as souvenirs on the fridge, the dent on the couch after so many years of you sitting there, and his own dent he started creating right next to it. He doesn't know if he really deserves this, after all he could've continued his life as a stray cat wandering the streets and never have the chance to experience this, and it wouldn't have changed much. But he is glad you gave him the opportunity to live something like this, and he could never be more grateful to you.

• Catboy Sylus does not tell you how grateful he really is, because he struggles to express his feelings, but instead he tries to show it. He does not know how to take care of a home and how to do housework, at all, but he decided he'll do things his own way.

• A special activity of his, that you don't know about, is guarding your home while you are away and guarding your bed while you are sleeping. Similarly to a dog, cat Sylus likes to do surveillance work around his territory, and most importantly around his owner. He paces around the house, doing some rounds to check every weak spot of your defenses. For example, at the back of your house, the fence is slightly crooked, which could become an opening for the enemy's strike. Which enemy? Who knows... But Sylus won't back down when it comes to your safety. At night, when he guards your bed, he lays at its foot and waits patiently for any suspicious sign, while keeping his senses alert. Later on, he even came to lay directly next to you, stayed closer to you to guarantee your protection in the most optimal way ; the warmth of your sleeping body next to him and the slight brushing of your ticking finger on his tail could never distract him! Then, just a few minutes before you wake up, when he senses you moving slightly, as the sun starts rising up at the same time, he promptly leaves to continue his duties outside.

• His strong territorial instincts and his possessiveness are at the same time a blessing and a curse. One day, one of your close relatives came by while you were absent, to drop off some of your belongings and a delicious home-made meal out of family generosity. Having called you prior and since they had a copy of your keys, they entered your home without knocking. Suddenly, something jumped on them and pushed them to the floor, keeping them locked with a strong grip as they panicked. When you came back home, it was difficult to explain to them that the enormous and threatening beast who attacked them, was actually the nice little catboy you rescued a while back, and that he wasn't a dangerous monster, he was just very protective and rigorous to his duties. For Sylus, anybody coming into your home, except you and him, is a threat, and he has a hard time understanding that it's not always true, but he might learn with time.

• One of the most difficult things with Catboy Sylus is the bath. When you thought that giving him his meds was already the hardest task you were ever given to, the bath was the ultimate challenge you could've never imagined, especially considering that he needs it quite often since he goes outside a lot. Sylus absolutely despises the water and the shampoo. It's probably because he never had the opportunity to get used to it and to get regularly bathed while living on the streets, but still he is particularly stubborn and difficult to handle. So it's a battle (again), where he sometimes slips out of your grasp, but you do manage to give him his bath after negotiating with him (again) a whole rotisserie chicken to eat after, only if he behaves. Sylus stays still, grumbling a little bit.

• About his emotions, catboy Sylus used to be a very grumpy cat, always with an angry expression with his eyebrows frowned and a mean look directed towards you. Now that he is less wary around you, he shifted his irritated look to a snarky smirk constantly plastered on his face, that you cannot seem to know how to remove. When he does his regular surveillance, he smirks, when he eats his food out of the plate you just gave him, he smirks, when he spends time sitting next to you, he smirks, and when you call him and his ears twitch and perk up just before he turns his head to look at you : his smirk grows even wider.

• Scrutinizing his face while he smirks at you like that, you notice the faint squinting of his crimson eyes, which indicates you the only thing you need to know now : Sylus is very content around you in your home.

• Sylus as a catboy is the most loyal and protective companion. As much as you take care of him and of his wounds, and you satisfy his refined taste, he does not require anything out of you in exchange ; being the true guardian that he is, all that matters for him is accomplishing his duty to protect your home, with you and him around.

≽ܫ≼ ⋆˚🐾˖°

Pulled an all-nighter for my assignment only to get a shitty grade, so now I comfort myself with fictional catboys stories.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

After I wrote this (and you have to believe me), it turned out that Xavier is canonically a Ragdoll and Zayne is canonically a Main coon in the cat event, and it makes me so happy to know I guessed it right. Also, I do not know if I exactly wrote this as them being cats or catboys, it's a little difference so it doesn't matter much right? I guess it's kind of both.

I hope I didn't make the characters too ooc since I don't know them all that well in-game as of right now. Let me know in the comments.

Anyway, this took me a whole week to write ; so thank you very much for reading and coming all this way, I hope you liked it just as much as I liked writing it ! ദ്ദി（• ˕ •マ.ᐟ

[pedroscurls]

training partners (pt. 12)

summary: without another word from jack, you and hugh continue your relationship without any issue or distraction. filming comes close to an end and there's one scene that hugh needs your assistance with. pairing: hugh jackman x fem!reader warnings: smut (18+, mdni), lots of oil (duh, someone's gotta lube hugh up for that end scene), dirty talk, teasing, sex in hugh's trailer, oral - f & m receiving, unprotected p in v, swallowing, missionary, hugh covers your mouth (to keep you quiet), implied age gap (hugh is 55, reader is in late 20s-early 30s), no use of y/n. word count: 3.6k a/n: ok, this is complete filth lol. i had to write something about this scene because when hugh said that there were people whose sole job was to lube him up??? well, let's just say my mind went places lol. hope y'all enjoy! (needed some good fluff / smut before we get back into the angst hehe) as always, this is purely fictional! i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman. prev part.

Filming continues and you’re grateful that Jack hasn’t tried to reach out to you nor does he try to look for you either. Knowing that he got the hint that you no longer are giving him control of your life, it gives you relief. You feel like you can finally breathe again, can finally move forward with your life, with Hugh. 

Without worrying about Jack coming back, you’re able to get back to enjoying your day-to-day responsibilities of continuing to take photographs on set of the movie. Every day, you wake up feeling immensely grateful for Hugh, Ryan, and Shawn for giving you this opportunity. While you normally take photographs of couples who have recently gotten engaged and have occasionally worked a small wedding, being an on-set photographer and capturing behind the scenes content is so much more enjoyable. It gives you a glimpse of how movies are made, shows you the passion and dedication of each cast and crew member. 

But Hugh… you had always been a fan of his work and being able to see him in his element left you speechless every time. The way he’s able to switch into character so easily and become Logan Howlett - a character that you’ve always loved. 

Throughout filming, you’re just in awe of everyone on set and to be able to see the movie unfold right before your eyes is an experience that you’re sure will only happen once in a lifetime. 

And as the end of filming fast approaches, you embrace every second of every day you’re on set. You find that you fall more in love with Hugh, watching him interact with every single person and making sure that they feel seen and heard - he truly is perfect, and a really good man, and you have to wonder what you did to deserve him. 

Hugh hadn’t brought up Jack in months since the last argument you both had and you’re grateful. You never wanted Jack to ever be the reason to get in between you and Hugh. While you feel partially responsible, you have come to realize that it was bound to happen eventually. It was naive to think that Hugh wouldn’t have reacted the way he did. 

“So,” Hugh says, pulling you from your thoughts as you both remain lying in bed, limbs entangled after yet another intimate session of lovemaking. 

“Hm?” You ask, turning to look over at him as your fingertips run across his bare chest. 

“How are we going to go back to New York and not be with each other every night and morning?”

You arch a brow in his direction. You know what he’s implying and he’s just staring at you with a small smile. A hopeful smile. “I don’t know about you, but I’m glad to have my own space after–,” you tease, trying to keep a straight face. 

Hugh narrows his eyes and moves to hover above you, hands grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your heads. You’re both still naked and he makes sure to press his hips into you. You can feel him getting harder and harder by the second. 

“Wanna say that again, baby?” 

“How are you getting hard again?” You ask, lifting your hips to roll against his. 

“You make it easy,” he winks. “Now, don’t go and change the subject.” 

“Well, that’s really difficult when you’re literally distracting me!” 

Hugh smirks, his grip around your wrist tightening as he leans down to brush his lips against yours. “You ain’t gonna miss me?” He whispers, moving his hips as his tip brush against you. “Not gonna miss sleeping next to me and waking up next to me, baby?” 

“Hugh…” your eyes flutter and your legs wrap around his hips, locking your ankles at his lower back. “I will… I will miss you. I was just teasing and–”

Hugh grins and slides into you in one thrust, growling as your walls surround him. “That’s what I thought.” 

—

Later that week, you’re staring up at Hugh who’s grinning down at you. You’re in his trailer and he’s already in his Wolverine suit - albeit a little dirtier than when he first put it on and his arms now in full display. 

“You’re telling me that I will need to oil you up?” You ask, eyes wide. “For what? Why? Oh my god, I’m gonna– How will I do that?!” 

“Well, you put oil on your hands and–”

“Okay, ha ha.” You roll your eyes playfully, feeling his hands move to your hips. “Hugh…” 

“What? You want someone else to oil me up? That it? First you say you won’t miss me when we go back home, that you want your space, and now you don’t wanna touch me?” He teases with a smirk. “What’s next, baby?” 

“Oh stop, you’re being dramatic.” You laugh quietly, looking into his eyes. 

“So, you’ll oil me up?” He grins. 

“If I must,” you tease. “But you owe me.” 

“Oh, baby, just you wait.” He winks. 

“What does the scene even consist of where I have to put oil on you?” 

“You’ll see.” 

“Not even a hint?” 

Hugh shakes his head and leans down to peck your lips lightly. “Nope. I will say, though,” he whispers, moving his lips along your jawline to your ear. “I’m gonna try my very best not to get excited when your hands are all over me.”  

“Oh my god, you’re going to be shirtless, aren’t you?” 

His lips grow into a wide grin as he gently nips along the side of your neck, hands gripping your hips. “Yeah, baby.” 

You look at him from top to bottom, biting down on your lower lip as your gaze darkens at the thought. You clear your throat and look back into his eyes, slowly shaking your head. “Yeah, you owe me because I don’t know how I’m going to oil you up without wanting to–”

“Oh, I know,” Hugh chuckles, interrupting you. “Good thing it’s the last scene to shoot before we call it a day.”

“So, what I’m hearing is that after that scene, you’re going to take me back to the hotel and…” you wiggle your brows together. “You know.”

Hugh smirks, hands slowly moving from your hips to wrap around your waist, dipping low to rest on your backside. “I don’t know,” he lies. “Why don’t you tell me what I’ll be doing when we get back to the hotel room?” 

“You’re gonna let me have my way with you,” you grin, nodding excitedly. 

“Oh, I’m gonna let you, will I?” 

“Yes.” you answer, matter-of-factly. 

“Love the confidence, baby,” Hugh grins as he leans down to peck your lips lightly. “Gotta get back on set. I’ll see you later.” 

“You’re such a tease.” 

“Am I?” 

“Yes, Hugh,” you answer, pulling back and looking up at him with a small pout on your lips.

“I’ll make it up to you,” he winks. “You know I will.”

“You better.”

“I promise,” Hugh says. “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” you smile. 

—

Throughout the rest of the day, you find yourself distracted with the thought of having to oil Hugh up for the last scene of the day. While you’re still in awe of the acting from both Ryan and Hugh, you can’t help but your eyes deviate to Hugh’s arms as he says his lines. 

And even as that scene approaches, Shawn is the first one to walk up to you, a teasing grin on his lips. “So, you’re okay with oiling Hugh up for this last scene?” 

“I think it’d be weird if I wasn’t,” you tease, biting the inside of your cheek in anticipation. 

“That’s true,” he chuckles. “Ryan’s been teasing him all day about it,” Shawn points out. 

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” you smile. “How much oil will I have to put on him, by the way?” 

“Um,” Shawn grins. “Quite a lot and depending on how many takes we’ll need to get the right one…”

“Okay, so we might need more than one bottle.”

“Oh, we have plenty.” 

“And this scene…” you begin, playing with your camera strap. 

“It’s a good one,” Shawn finishes for you. 

“I mean, it wouldn’t be Wolverine if there wasn’t at least one shot of him without a shirt, right?” 

Shawn laughs quietly. “That’s right… Speaking of the devil,” he nods his head over your shoulder and you turn slightly to see Hugh without his shirt, simply dressed in only the yellow and blue pants with the matching boots and cowl. 

You clear your throat at the sight of him, his muscles clearly defined as you bite your lower lip. Your eyes linger on his chest and abdomen, moving along his strong arms and shoulders. Ryan’s voice breaks you out of your thoughts and you turn your gaze on the other man, who’s dressed in his entire Deadpool gear.

“You might want to pick up your jaw off the floor,” Ryan chuckles. 

“Oh, shut up,” you reply, gently smacking his chest. “I see this every day, it’s nothing new to me,” you lie.

Hugh places his hands on his hips, staring at you with a slight tilt to his head and a small smirk on his lips. He can see your eyes flitting back to him, can see the way you're gently gnawing at your lower lip and he knows exactly what kind of look you’re giving him. 

“I know,” Ryan sighs dramatically. “Lucky you.” 

“Got the oil for you,” Hugh says, handing it to you and breaking you out of your thoughts. You take it from him slowly, fingers brushing against his. 

“Right. So, we’re doing this now.” you say, gripping the bottle of oil tightly in your grasp. 

Shawn nods and then looks over at you. “Don’t put too much,” he advises. “Just enough to make his skin glisten, like he’s sweating.” 

“Right, right,” you nod, clearing your throat. “Not too much, but just enough.”

Ryan and Shawn quietly chuckle to themselves before giving the both of you some privacy. You look up at Hugh and bite your lower lip, eyes lingering on his lips as it moves down the side of his neck, to his chest and down his abdomen and back up. 

“You nervous, baby?” Hugh whispers. 

“N– No,” you stammer. “I just don’t want to mess up.”

“I don’t even think that’s possible,” he chuckles. “I’m ready for you, love.” 

You nod slowly and then open the bottle of oil, squeezing just enough onto your palm. You set the bottle aside and rub your hands together to evenly distribute the oil before you reach out to place your hands on his shoulders, slowly moving them up and down before you move to his chest. 

Hugh smirks, flexing his chest for you and he lets out a quiet chuckle when he hears you quietly gasp. “Love feeling your hands on me, baby,” he whispers. 

“Stop distracting me,” you tease, pouring just a bit more oil onto your hands before you reach out to spread it along his chest down to his abdomen, feeling each ridge and muscle of his abs. Your hands move dangerously closer to the waistband of his pants, feeling Hugh’s hand immediately dart out to rest on your hip. 

“Careful, baby.”

“Just making sure I got everything.” Slowly, you pull away and look at him, his upper half glistening with the oil you just applied. “I think– I think you’re ready to go.”

Hugh smiles and leans down to peck your lips lightly. “Thank you, baby.”

“I miss seeing your eyes,” you point out, motioning towards the cowl that’s placed atop of his head. “But I can’t lie… this is just as good a view.” 

Hugh opens his mouth to say something, but hears his name being called by Ryan and Shawn. “Duty calls.”

“Try and get this in one take so you can take me back to the hotel.”

Hugh smirks. “Impatient, aren’t you?” 

“Do you see yourself? I’d jump you right here if I could.” 

“Naughty girl,” he whispers lowly. 

“Hugh!” Ryan calls out. “Come on, buddy. I’m sure she will oil you up soon enough.” 

“Go,” you say quietly. 

Hugh nods and then turns on his heel to take his place on set. 

—

It takes more than one take to complete the scene. After about two and a half bottles of oil and intense sexual tension radiating off you and Hugh, Shawn finally calls cut. Hugh walks over to you and takes the towel from your hands to wipe off the immense amount of oil that’s dripping from him, but he can’t help but watch your eyes ogle him. It always made him feel so special and borderline shy when your eyes linger on him, especially with the way you’re staring at him now. 

“Just gotta head back to the trailer and change,” Hugh says. “Then we can go back to the hotel.”

Anticipation courses through your veins as you keep a tight hold on Hugh’s hand, fingers laced together as you walk alongside him. Once at his trailer, Hugh shuts the door and locks it behind him. 

Before you can even ask what he’s doing, Hugh turns to face you and removes the cowl to set it aside. His gaze darkens at the sight of you and in just a few strides in your direction, he’s wrapping his strong arms around your waist and lifting you off your feet. 

Your legs immediately wrap around his waist and your arms move around his shoulders. Letting out a quiet gasp, Hugh gently rests you on your back against the couch, kneeling on the floor between your legs.

“Hugh, what are you–”

“Been wanting you all day,” he says, his large hands moving to your jeans and undoing the button and zipper of it all too quickly. “Can’t wait anymore.”

“Baby–”

“Shh,” Hugh whispers, tugging your jeans down your legs and tossing the fabric over his shoulder. He looks up at you and then moves his hands to the waistband of your black lace panties, slowly tugging them down your legs as well. Once your lower half is completely exposed for him, Hugh holds your legs apart and growls at the sight of your slickened sex. He leans in and brushes the bridge of his nose against you, hands gripping your legs tightly. “Goddamn, baby. You’re already so wet for me.”

“It was because of all that oil,” you whimper, moving your hands to rest in his hair. “Please…”

“And here I thought you were gonna have your way with me,” he grins, pulling back just enough to brush the pad of his thumb against your bundle of nerves. Hugh looks up at you, watches you tilt your head back and your eyes fall shut at the lightest of touches.

“Oh, I will,” you groan. “But first, how about you do what you need to do and–”

“So demanding lately,” he grins, leaning in to lick a stripe along your soaking heat. A loud moan escapes your lips and Hugh smiles, pulling away. “Baby, you gotta stay quiet for me. There are still people on set and we can’t have them hearing you, hearing what I’m doing to you.”

“Fuck,” you whimper, nodding and moving your hands from his hair to cover your mouth instead. “I’ll try my best,” you mumble.

“Atta girl,” he praises and leans back in to lap at your juices, your wetness slowly beginning to trickle down his chest. Hugh grips your hips, holding you firmly against the couch as he moves his lips to your clit, flicking his tongue against it as he brings one hand between your legs. Without hesitation, he slides in two fingers as he sucks at your clit, beginning to pump his two digits in and out of your depths. 

The sounds of your wetness squelches with each thrust of his fingers and he stares up at you to see how hard you’re trying to stay quiet. He smirks against you and slowly adds a third finger, a loud whimper escaping your lips at the intrusion. 

Hugh turns his head and places soft kisses on the inside of your thigh as he leans back, continuing to move his fingers in and out of your depths as he leans over you. With his free hand, he gently removes your own from your mouth and leans in to brush his lips against yours. 

“Feel good, baby?” he whispers, keeping his fingers deep within your depths as he begins to curl them inside of you. “Oh yeah, I can feel you trembling…”

You stare up at him, biting your lower lip as you try to hold back your moans. “Hugh, baby…” 

“Doing so good for me, staying so quiet,” he grins, his fingers curling inwards as your walls begin to tremble and he knows you’re close. Knows that you’re about to reach a heightened pleasure that he leans in and presses his lips against yours in hopes to quiet your moans. 

You reach down and grip his wrist, fingertips digging into his skin as you arch your back. You moan against his lips, feeling his tongue slide past your own and the sensations are just too much, too overwhelming. Hugh pumps his fingers in and out of you to help you ride out your climax, slowly pulling away to hold up his fingers in your direction.

“Look how wet you are for me,” he grins. 

You look up at him, biting your lower lip as you watch him suck on his fingers, cleaning your slick free from his digits. “Hugh…”

“So fucking good,” he winks. 

You’re breathing heavily, but you reach down for his pants and tug on it, seeing the length of his manhood pressing against the yellow fabric. “Take these off.”

Hugh smirks. “Yes, ma’am.” He makes quick work to remove his boots and his pants, kicking them off to the side carelessly. He looks down at himself, his manhood at attention and he settles himself once more between your legs. He holds onto the base of his length and runs his tip across your sex, growling lowly. 

“Gonna fuck you now,” he groans. 

“Please,” you whimper. 

“Being such a good girl, baby,” Hugh smirks, slowly sliding into you in one thrust. He groans at your wetness, your warmth walls surrounding every inch of him. He leans down and rests his forehead against yours, pulling his hips back before he slides back in. 

“Hugh, I don’t think…” you moan, moving your hands to his shoulders. “I can’t– I can’t stay quiet and–”

“Shh,” he whispers, moving his large hand over your mouth as he delivers a sharp thrust. “Yeah, you can, baby.” 

You let out a loud moan, muffled by his hand as you stare up at him. Hugh pulls out to his tip and slides back into you in one thrust, your legs moving to wrap around his waist. 

Hugh rests his forehead against yours, staring into your eyes as he keeps his hand over your mouth. Your moans and whimpers are muffled by his large hand and with each thrust, he can see the way your eyes flutter. Hugh’s thrusts continue at a rhythmic pace, your walls sliding along each inch and vein of his manhood. You’re so wet, so tight and warm and Hugh knows he can’t keep this up any longer. 

“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna–” Hugh’s hips begin to stutter, but you reach down and push him away from you, causing a loud groan to escape his lips. He’s quick to grasp his manhood to slide back into you, but you shake your head and sit up on the couch, urging him to stand up. “What?”

“I want you to come in my mouth,” you tell him, biting your lower lip. “That’s one way you can keep me quiet.”

Hugh growls and nods, standing up like you asked. He brings a hand down to your cheek, brushing his thumb across your soft skin and gently tucking a fallen strand behind your ear. “Well?” 

“Now, who’s impatient, hm?” you grin, reaching up to wrap your hand around his slick coated base as your lips move to his tip. Wrapping your lips around him, you begin to bob your head, hollowing your cheeks as your hand strokes the rest of him. You keep your eyes focused on him, watching as he tilts his head back and a hand moves to tangle his fingers into your hair. 

“Oh, baby,” he groans, the grip in your tightening as you continue to bob your head in time with your strokes. Hugh can feel the tightness build once again in the pit of his stomach. He looks down at you and groans at the sight, your eyes staring up at him with his cock in his mouth. 

God, if he could spend the rest of his days like this, Hugh would die a happy man. 

“I’m close, I’m gonna–” Hugh’s voice cuts off as you take him even deeper into your mouth and he can feel the tip of his length hit the back of your throat. He groans loudly and gently brushes your hand away from him as he takes a hold of his base. He strokes himself once, twice, three times before spurts of his come release into your mouth. 

You feel his warm spend fill your mouth, a mixture of salty and sweet taste. You swallow it eagerly, slowly bobbing your head as you feel him shudder against you, his hand in your release loosening its grip. When he pulls away, you smile up at him and gently place a soft and light kiss on his tip. 

“Did you really just–”

“Swallow?” you finish for him and nod. “Yup… Is that okay?” 

“Is that okay?” Hugh repeats. “Baby, you’re fucking perfect.”

---

taglist (if links don't work, i'm sorry!): @corvusmorte - @dragonqueen89 - @whimsiwitchy - @kellyxo1

@wolviehugh - @moonxknightx - @sullyselena - @angelofthorr - @spectorrrhgf

@needz1nk - @fandomxo00 - @godlypresley - @kythefangirl25 - @callsignyourmom

@sue8724 - @squishyfruitloop - @sylviavf - @emotrash1 - @dissentientss

@sir-thisisadndserver - @absolutepie - @millajay - @itsallyscorner - @haytchee

@wolverigrl - @its-in-the-woods - @d3ad2you - @definitely-not-chill - @khxna

@jules-and-gemss

[slimeyoldman]

1. Rick for sure, I like everyone in the family tho ! My favorite specific Rick's are Toxic(because he's awful and very very short sighted, idk i just think he's interesting in a sopping wet pathetic way.) and Flesh Curtains era(because let's be real how am I going to look at a 30 something grungey drunk and not be obsessed. thats like, some of my favorite people irl.)

2. I don't think it matters! Probably space beth, but eh 🤷‍♀️

3. No not canonically. I think it'd be really fun tho and I like all the theories. Ricks do mess around tho, hes a horndog and the citadel exists, a huge conglomeration of Him, i think it happens more often then it seems to.

4. Tilda. I will not elaborate.

5. Errh idk! A lot i guess. Theyve said before they want the like, classic adult cartoon run time(think futurama, family guy, simpsons), so as many seasons as humanly possible if the writers get their way. I think they step on their own toes a little since they seem to toggle between wanting to be an episodic sitcom, but ALSO a serial scifi thriller. I dont think theyve done badly in that regard so far, but theres absolutely aspects of both that are suffering because of the other's presence.(plot inconsistencies n that kinda thing.)

6. Smash, it would be a bad decision for both of us, but itd be fun !

7. Does the galactic federation count? Probably not since its an organization, but for sure that one. Super interesting stuff u can do with space bureaucracy(bc im boring) and state-sponsored violence. But as for an individual, I really really like Beths mytholog, that whole concept is really cool, and her design is hella badass lol. Also i guess Toxic Rick is a villain too !

8. oof I've tried to figure this out and i dont think i can narrow it down, but i really like Rattlestar Ricklactica, Vat of Acid, and a Rickle in Time.

9. uhh idk the one with the giant incest baby? I didn't enjoy Story Train either tbh. I don't think any of the episodes are like, unwatchably bad, but theres absolutely a few I skip when i rewatch the show.

10. I don't care about story lord like, at all. hes just. deeply uninteresting. Not a huge fan of Mr. Poopybutthole, but i think i just thought we were reminded of him too often.(i liked the intervention episode well enough tho)

11. Oh man this is hard to answer cuz hes just done So Much. Like, guys a shithead. The reckless disregard for innocent bystanders is pretty bad. I think it sucks when he orchestrates situations in which morty has to lethally defend himself, and then totally disregards his feelings(which is literally all the time lmfao). like, the kids 14. His casual manipulation of Beth is super fucked, cuz he knows how much he means to her and he exploits that. yeah idk, guys just a pos all around lol

12. Dated question, luckily no! I think the new voice actors are great :3

13. All the rnm blogs i follow are badass as hell. idk how to pick ill prob edit this l8r

14. Can I say rick without sounding like a total loser. mentally ill, substance abuse issues, ruled entirely by emotions, hedonistic while paradoxically engaging in self-harm/hatred. nihilistic(silly flavor). freaked out by commitment/attachment. the party friend(as opposed to someone you invite for brunch or to meet ur parents). also science is cool.

15. the entire "...couldn't let a dead snake be dead even after it bit his ankle, next time stay in the fucking car!" monologue. and the "a vat of fake acid are you Dying of Dementia?!" fight.

16. i havent finished my brackets yet ill get back to you.

17. same as above.

18. man idk probably. i dont actually watch it in a way that supports them(financially) anyway, but that would suck balls cuz its a fixation of mine.

19. done to death probably but mortys "come watch tv?" quote is my fave. it reads to me as incredibly reassuring. optimistic nihilism. like, "nothing means anything, nothings a big deal, lets chill and enjoy it while we can." ya know? like dying is the same as before you were born, and Everyones gonna do it, but we're here together right now, so lets eat pasta and get a little drunk.

20. i know hes doing his own thing but can i be snowball. hes cool and empathetic and capable of growth, also i wanna see how the dog utopia is going.

20 SHORT-ANSWER* RICK AND MORTY QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

*You can write long answers, if you'd like! Feel free to skip questions, too!

Who is your favourite Rick and Morty Character?

Which Beth is the clone: Domestic Beth or Space Beth?

Do you think that Rick-C137 and Rick Prime were previously romantically involved?

What do you think would be a good name for Birdperson and Tammy's daughter?

How many seasons do you think Rick and Morty will eventually have?

Rick C-137: smash or pass?

Who is your favourite Rick and Morty villain?

Your favourite Rick and Morty episode?

Your least favourite Rick and Morty episode?

Who is your least favourite Rick and Morty character?

What is, in your opinion, the worst thing that Rick C-137 has ever done?

Do you think that Rick and Morty will be affected substantially by having to change the voice actor for Rick and Morty and a bunch of other characters?

What's a good Rick and Morty blog?

Who is the Rick and Morty character that you relate to the most?

The funniest Rick and Morty bit/scene, in your opinion?

Best Rick and Morty season?

Worst Rick and Morty season?

Would you stop watching the show if Justin Roiland returned?

Your favourite Rick and Morty quote?

If you had to be one member of the smith family in the next season, who would you want to be?