#i think i struggled a bit with the lighting lmao
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pistachions · 2 months ago
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Would you guys believe that I've never drawn love händel before ?!!
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myonmukyuu · 2 years ago
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marker practice ayumu
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jediexile · 1 year ago
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It’s always, always, always a good idea to have the essentials internet-free, or at least have some redundancies, but wow from these comments I can tell the majority of people are not disabled or differently abled
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Welcome to the future, where you don’t own anything and the stuff you rent stops working once your phone has no signal.
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cassmouse · 1 year ago
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The truth is I have no idea how to build a team in Honkai and I was recently informed that I have three DPS characters in my team like I didn't even know what that was until about a week ago
I can't be bothered to change it because I got this far I'll be fine lmao
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woolysium · 18 days ago
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Anatomy Lesson
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﹒♡﹒Pairing: Yunho + Mingi (college AU) x reader
﹒♡﹒Summary: As med students, you, Yunho, and Mingi have spent countless hours studying anatomy together—but in this study session, anatomical diagrams turn into hands-on lessons.
﹒♡﹒Word count: 4k
﹒♡﹒Genre: smut (MDNI)
﹒♡﹒Warning: pure filth, very nsfw, threesome, restraint, hand kink, choking, unprotected sex (a no no irl), double penetration, rough sex, very dom!Yunho, whiny mess!Mingi, Mingi is very desperate, teasing, overstimulation (let me know if i miss anything ig its too long)
﹒♡﹒Request: @mingi-s-dimples "Hey pooks 🙂‍↕️💖 it's me, Bia! I'd love to read something written by your for me sooo here is my request 😋😋 Yungi x reader, college au studying anatomy (I have the biggest yungi brainrot rn I'm so sorry + I'm studying anatomy as we speak). They've been study buddies since they started uni 2 yrs ago and they always met to study tgt. SO I'd love to read how reader is like into them but is too shy to tell them and the boys are like.. also kinda into her but they thought it's be weird to like.. tell her cause it'd be a 3some. NOT ANYMORE !! They study anatomy and reader starts touching them intimately explaining some of the structures (for ex thigh/abs and so on) and Mingi for ex gets turned on from it and gets a boner duh. They have some small talk and then they yk.. have a 3some 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ sigh. Anyways, I'd love to see: restraining with their bodies/hand kink/slight choking/double penetration (is not a kink ik), praise, teasing 😌 Gave you all the details I'd love to see and THANK YOU SO MUCHHHH LOVE YOUU 😋💖💖💖"
﹒♡﹒Author's note: This took longer than I expected, and filthier.... I never knew i could do this good until now lmao. Anyways this is a long ass fic, and cheers to my babe Bia for requesting it, even though i kinda died at the end so it looks rushed but, hope you like it, I love your idea so so much. It was a ride writing this, I had to research a shit ton on anatomy, but it was fun tho. This is not proofread thoroughly since it's too long and i was getting sleepy, so please ignore any errors. Enjoy the meal. I love you Bia 💜
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You’ve known Yunho and Mingi since the first day of med school. Being more of an introvert, you usually keep to yourself, avoiding any unnecessary attention. But that day, the only open seat was right in the middle of the lecture hall. Yunho and Mingi showed up late, looking a bit lost, and ended up grabbing the two seats on either side of you.
At first, you figured they were just two extroverted guys who’d probably drift off to make other friends once they settled in—exactly the type you usually avoid. But as the lecture went on, they kept leaning over to ask for help, clearly struggling with the material. Yunho, with his easy smile and laid-back vibe, nudged you and whispered, “Think you could explain this? We’re kinda lost.” Mingi, with a shy grin that made him seem more approachable than his confident appearance suggested, nodded along.
You explained the basics, and they were grateful enough to ask if you’d study together outside of class. Despite your initial hesitation, you said yes, you couldn’t even believe yourself. From there, study sessions became a regular thing—quiet corners of the library or your living room, where you’d help them with the tough stuff, and they’d bring snacks and keep the mood light. They made everything feel a bit more bearable at least, even the late-night cram sessions.
Two years later, the three of you are still a team, but things have changed. Somewhere along the way, simple glances and casual touches started to linger. And there were moments—small, fleeting ones—where you could swear they were feeling it too. Like when Yunho would shift closer to you on the couch, his arm draped casually behind your shoulders, his fingers brushing the back of your neck just enough to make your skin tingle. Or when Mingi’s hand would find your lower back during those late-night coffee runs, the touch lingering a little too long to be just friendly. But no one ever said anything about it, all of you dancing around the unspoken tension that had begun to define your time together.
Tonight is just another study session at your place, and you don’t really think much about anything else other than the lessons. You're all spread out across your bed—Yunho sitting up against the headboard, his long legs stretched out, Mingi lying on his side next to him, propped up on one elbow. You sit cross-legged facing them, surrounded by notes and anatomy diagrams.
You're pointing out different muscle groups and explaining their connections, but you notice the looks of confusion on their faces. With a little laugh, you suggest, “Guys, I think it would be better to show you directly. How about I demonstrate them on your body?” Totally innocent request, or so you thought.
Yunho glances at Mingi, who shrugs with a faint smirk. “Yeah sure. Might be easier to understand that way,” Yunho says, scooching to the side a bit to make space for you. Mingi stretches out beside him, nodding along.
You start with Yunho, tracing the lines of his arm, outlining the biceps and triceps as you explain each muscle group. “So, here’s the biceps brachii,” you murmur, fingers gently pressing along the length of his upper arm, feeling the firmness beneath. Yunho listens intently, his usual playful smile tempered by a newfound focus as he watches your hand. “And just behind here, the triceps—helps with arm extension,” you continue, trailing your hand down the back of his arm. His body is relaxed under your touch, but there’s a slight shift in his breathing when your fingers glide over his chest and down to his abs, the smooth firmness beneath your fingertips making you a little more aware of the warmth radiating between you.
When you move over to Mingi, the atmosphere tenses up even more, you are oblivious, somehow. You run your fingers along his chest, explaining the pectorals. “This is the pectoralis major—it’s responsible for moving the arm across the body,” you say softly, your hand tracing the broad curve of his chest. He listens closely, his breathing grows a bit deeper as you outline each muscle. You continue downward, fingertips gliding over his defined abs. “And here’s the rectus abdominis… your core muscles.” Mingi’s body tenses beneath your touch, brows furrowing as he bites his lips, trying to control his reaction.
“This part—your obliques, they help with twisting movements,” you add, tracing the defined muscles, feeling the warmth of his skin through the thin fabric of his shirt. Your touch follows the natural curve of his hip, then skims lower. It’s meant to be purely academic, but then your fingers slide over the curve of his hip and graze against the waistband of his jeans.
You’re about to pull away when your hand slips, just slightly, brushing over his crotch. You freeze, the realization hitting you like a jolt, the feeling of Mingi’s arousal under your fingertips sending a rush of warmth to your own cheeks. Mingi’s breath catches audibly, his body tensing beneath your touch. You glance up at him, heart racing, but his expression is caught somewhere between surprise and something more intense, his face flushed.
Before you can say anything, you catch the way Yunho's expression has changed too. There’s a heat in his eyes as he looks between you and Mingi, cheeks a little flushed and his breath coming out uneven, though he’s still trying to keep up his usual playful front. "You know, you might be a little too good at this," he says, his voice dropping, teasing but rougher than usual.
The air in the room feels thicker, making your heart beat faster. Yunho moves in closer, his gaze darker, watching you in a way that makes you swallow hard. There’s this electric charge between the three of you now, impossible to ignore. For a second, it’s like time stops—none of you quite sure how to navigate this shift, but aware that something's definitely changed.
Yunho’s usual teasing grin fades when he catches your gaze, something more serious in his eyes. His breath hitches, and you notice how he glances from your eyes to your lips, then back again, like he’s debating what to do. The room goes quiet, and the tension is thick enough to make you feel like you’re holding your breath.
You swallow hard, nerves making your voice waver as you finally break the silence. “I... I’ve liked both of you for a while now,” you admit, your cheeks heating with embarrassment. “But I was too scared to say anything. I thought... I thought you’d find it weird, or that it would ruin everything.”
Mingi lets out a breath he’s been holding, his expression softening even as his lips curl into a smirk, a mixture of relief and disbelief paints his face. “You serious?” He glances over at Yunho, who gives a slow, almost doubtful nod, as if he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing either. Mingi’s hand moves to rest on your thigh, his grip firm, sending a jolt through you. “Look, Y/N. We’ve been into you for so long, but we thought you’d be freaked out by the idea... of being with both of us like this, you know.”
Yunho’s hand tilts your chin so you’re looking right at him. His thumb brushes over your bottom lip, and his voice drops lower. “Yeah, we didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. But if you’re saying you’re into this too...” His other hand slides to your waist, tugging you a bit closer. “Maybe we’ve been holding back for no reason.”
You shiver under their touch, heat pooling low in your stomach as the reality of the situation sinks in. Mingi’s thumb strokes slow circles on your thigh, his other hand trailing up your back. Yunho leans in closer, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as he murmurs, “So... what do you want, really?” 
You catch your breath, feeling their warmth pressed against you from both sides. You look at them, and it’s like all the unspoken feelings are right there on their faces. A nervous smile tugs at your lips as you admit, “I want... both of you.”
Mingi’s grip tightens, and Yunho’s breath comes out in a low, almost relieved sigh, his fingers slipping beneath the hem of your shirt. It’s like a dam breaking—no more restraint, just the three of you finally letting go of the tension that’s been building for so long.
The bed dips under their weight as Yunho settles behind you, Mingi in front. The heat radiating from their bodies is intoxicating, and you shiver as Yunho’s rough hand grips your jaw, tilting your head back. “Look at you. Already so needy,” he growls, the pad of his thumb grazing your lower lip, sending a thrill straight to your core.
His lips crash into yours, rough and eager, as if he can’t hold back a second longer. His hands are everywhere—one cupping your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek, the other slipping beneath your shirt, his touch leaving a trail of heat in its wake. His grip is firm, possessive, his fingers digging into your skin as he pulls you closer.
Mingi’s hands tug at the hem of your shirt, impatience lacing his movements. He pulls the fabric up and over your head, his fingers fumbling slightly as he tosses it aside. “He’s always in such a hurry,” Yunho teases, his voice a low rumble against your lips, but there’s a smirk in his tone that says he’s just as eager.
Your bra is the next to go, Mingi’s hands quickly unhook it and slide it down your arms. His eyes darken as he takes in the sight of you, his tongue wetting his lips. “You look so good like this,” he murmurs, his breath coming in shallow pants. He palms your chest, thumbs brushing over your nipples, drawing a gasp from you as he rolls them between his fingers, his touch alternating between gentle and rough.
Yunho’s hand trails down your side, fingers hooking into the waistband of your pants. He yanks them down in one swift motion, along with your panties, leaving you completely bare between them. He pulls back just enough to admire the sight, his lips curving into a satisfied smirk. “You’re beautiful, I’ve dreamed of this for so long,” he says, but there’s a rough edge to his voice that sends a shiver through you.
His breath is warm against your ear, his hands trailing down your sides, tracing the curves of your body with a possessive touch. He pulls you closer against him, his large hands sliding over your thighs before gently urging them apart. He holds you open, one arm wrapped around your waist to keep you steady while the other spreads you wider, his fingers brushing against your slickness as he exposes you to Mingi.
Meanwhile, Mingi’s hands roam over your thighs, pushing them apart as he leans in, his breath hot against your skin. His fingers tease along the edge of your crotch, just barely brushing over your wetness.
“Already soaked, huh?” Mingi’s voice is husky, tinged with a whine as his fingers press harder, rubbing slow circles over the soaked heat. He’s watching you, eyes blown wide with lust, lips parted as he takes in every little reaction. He lets out a shaky breath, his impatience bleeding through. “You’re so fucking desperate for it, aren’t you?”
Yunho’s hand wraps around your throat, fingers tighten slightly, cutting off your reply. “Mingi, quit messing around,” he commands, his tone leaving no room for argument. His fingers slowly twisting your nipples, hard enough to make you gasp. “She wants it rough, so let’s not make her wait.”
Mingi, positioned between your legs, drinks in the sight of you with darkened eyes, a low groan escaping him. “Yunho, she’s so wet for us,” he mutters, his voice husky with desire. He presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, his lips trailing a path closer to where you need him most, his breath teasing your skin and making you squirm in Yunho’s hold.
Yunho tightens his grip, keeping you steady, a smirk playing on his lips as he feels you try to press closer to Mingi. “Easy, baby. Let him take his time with you,” Yunho murmurs, his tone low and commanding, his fingers brushing along your inner thigh as he keeps you spread wide for Mingi.
Mingi glances up at you through half-lidded eyes, his mouth hovering just inches away from your core, and you can feel the heat of his breath ghosting over your most sensitive spot. “You ready for this?” he asks, his usual confidence cracking just enough to reveal the desperation underneath. He doesn’t wait for your answer before leaning in, his tongue dragging slowly over your folds, tasting you with a groan that vibrates against your skin.
You gasp, your head falling back against Yunho’s shoulder as the sensation crashes through you. Mingi’s mouth is relentless, his tongue working you over with a rhythm that has your thighs shaking, but Yunho’s grip keeps you from closing your legs, keeps you open and exposed to every lick, every gentle suck. He spreads you wider with his fingers, giving Mingi the perfect angle, and Mingi takes full advantage, his tongue dipping inside you before dragging back up to circle your clit, teasing you mercilessly.
Yunho’s lips find your neck again, pressing rough kisses along your skin, his teeth grazing over your pulse point. “Look at you, falling apart already,” he whispers, his voice filled with amusement as he watches the way your chest heaves with every breath. “Mingi, I think she likes that,” he teases, his hand sliding down to cup your breast, his thumb brushing over your nipple in slow, deliberate circles.
Mingi pulls back just enough to speak, his voice low and rough. “She tastes so good, Yunho... I don’t think I can stop,” he admits, his usual confidence slipping into a more desperate edge. He dives back in with a hunger, his tongue working faster now, alternating between soft licks and harsher, more focused attention on your clit, sucking it into his mouth and flicking it with his tongue until you’re crying out, your hands clutching at Yunho’s arm for support.
Yunho groans softly at the sound of your moans, his own arousal pressing hard against your lower back. He lets one hand drift down, his fingers grazing over Mingi’s jaw as he works, a silent encouragement as he keeps you pinned in place, making sure you can’t escape the overwhelming pleasure. “Yeah, that’s it, Mingi... make her fall apart,” Yunho breathes, his own voice thick with desire as he watches the scene unfold.
Mingi’s pace grows more frantic, his lips and tongue driving you to the edge, his hands gripping your thighs to keep you steady as he devours you like he’s starving. The combination of Yunho’s firm, steady grip and Mingi’s relentless mouth leaves you helpless between them, your body arching as the tension builds, heat pooling low in your belly until you can’t hold back anymore.
“Yunho, please... I—” Your words dissolve into a choked moan as Mingi’s tongue circles your clit faster, pushing you right to the brink. Yunho’s hand slides back to your throat, not applying pressure but just resting there, a reminder that he’s the one in control, a reminder of how completely you’re at their mercy.
“That’s it, baby. Come for us,” Yunho whispers against your ear, his thumb stroking over your pulse as if feeling the way it races beneath his touch. His other hand tightens on your thigh, holding you wide open for Mingi’s tongue, making sure you can’t escape the intense sensations that roll through you in waves.
And when your release finally crashes over you, it’s like everything shatters—your body shaking between them as Mingi holds you steady, his tongue slowing but never stopping, drawing out every last aftershock until you’re a trembling mess in their hands. Yunho’s grip softens, turning soothing as he brushes his lips against your temple, “Good girl,” his voice soft in a low register.
Mingi pulls away from you, lips slick and pupils blown wide, catching his breath as he watches the way your body trembles. He flashes you a wild grin, his lips curling into a satisfied smirk as he takes in the sight of you coming undone. “You’ve got no idea how good you look like this,” he murmurs, voice rough and low, sending a shiver down your spine.
Yunho’s large hand cups your jaw, his fingers pressing gently but firmly as he tilts your head back, stealing your breath with a demanding kiss. His tongue slides against yours, leaving you dizzy with the heat of his mouth, while his free hand drifts between your legs. His long fingers find the slickness Mingi left behind, sliding inside you with ease, spreading your pussy open, curling to press against that sensitive spot that makes you gasp into his mouth. He groans at how ready you are, his own control slipping as he pumps his fingers slowly, making you arch against him.
“Think she’s ready for us, Yunho?” Mingi teases, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your thighs, his voice tinged with a playful edge even as his own breath comes out shaky. His hands press your legs open wider, his grip rough and eager, holding you in place beneath him.
Yunho pulls back, letting his lips ghost over the shell of your ear as he speaks. “More than ready,” he murmurs, his tone low and dark. He withdraws his fingers, leaving you clenching around nothing, and Mingi’s lips twitch into a smirk as he watches the way your hips move, seeking more. He pulls his own shirt over his head, revealing the toned muscles beneath, and shoves his jeans down in a hurry, his cock heavy in his hand as he strokes himself, his eyes glued to the way you tremble beneath them.
They both shed the last of their clothes, and the sight of them—Mingi with a desperation in his eyes, his cock hard and leaking, and Yunho’s self-assured composure as he strokes himself slowly—has heat pooling in your belly all over again.
Yunho catches Mingi’s eye, and there’s a shared look between them—a look that you can’t quite make out of. Mingi huffs out a breath, a smirk curling his lips even as his hands tighten on your thighs. “Ready to make her feel good, aren’t we?” Yunho taunts, his tone edged with a dangerous kind of promise.
Mingi’s response is a low hum as he settles between your legs again, his breath ghosting over your sensitive skin. He presses a final kiss to your thigh, his lips soft before he lines himself up with your entrance. “You’re gonna take us both, sweetheart. You up for that?”
Yunho’s grip tightens on your jaw, guiding your head back so you’re looking at him, his expression dark and intense. “She can take it. Can’t you?” he challenges, his thumb brushing over your lips, the pressure making your breath hitch. You nod, can’t even form words, and a satisfied smirk tugs at Yunho’s mouth.
Mingi eases himself inside you, inch by inch, his moan vibrating through you as he stretches you open. The way his big dick fills you is almost overwhelming, his rough grip grounding you as he bottoms out, shuddering against you. “Fuck, she’s so tight... I’m not gonna last if you keep squeezing me like that,” he’s breathless, barely keeping himself together as your body tightens around him.
Yunho smirks, his fingers flexing against your throat. “She likes it, Mingi,” he murmurs, the dominance in his tone sending a thrill through you both. He moves his hand to your clit, his touch unrelenting, and the added sensation sends you spiraling, your body arching back into him as he drives you higher.
Yunho’s smirk widens, his gaze tracking every twitch of your expression as he positions himself behind you, the thick head of his cock pressing against your entrance alongside Mingi’s. He moves slowly, letting the stretch settle in, and you gasp at the sensation, the stretch is intense, burning in the most delicious way as your body struggles to adjust. They both push forward, filling you to the brim, and you can’t hold back the sharp cry that escapes you, the sensation leaving you breathless.
Yunho’s breath ghosts over your skin, his voice a low growl in your ear. “Look at how desperate he is for you,” he taunts, his fingers pressing down on your clit, rubbing rough circles. “But you love it, don’t you? Being filled like this, over and over until you can’t even think straight.”
Mingi’s head snaps up at that, his lips curling into a defiant smirk even as his movements falter, every thrust turning sloppy and wild. “She loves it... I can feel how tight she gets every time you touch her,” he gasps out, his voice cracking into a moan as Yunho’s fingers tighten their grip, applying just enough pressure to make you gasp, and he holds you there, his grip firm as he watches the way your lips part, vision going hazy. Mingi loses himself in the rhythm, his cock twitching inside you as he chases the edge of release, his desperation palpable in every shuddering breath.
You can feel Mingi’s pace falters, his head dropping to your shoulder as his breath stutters against your skin. “Fuck, I can’t hold back... she’s driving me crazy,” he groans, his voice breaking on a whimper as he feels the way you clench around him.
From behind you, Yunho chuckles, his own control slipping as his hips snap forward, burying himself deeper inside you. “Don’t hold back,” he growls. “Make her come again.” The dual sensations of their thrusts, the weight of their bodies, and the intimacy of the moment push you closer to the edge, and you feel the tension building again. “I can’t—oh, God, I’m so close!” you cry, your nails digging into Mingi’s arms as you cling to him.
The room fills with the sounds of your combined breaths, the wet slap of skin against skin, and the low, breathless curses spilling from Mingi’s lips. His hand slips, reaching back to grip Yunho’s wrist, grounding himself as he rocks into you with wild abandon, his moans turning needy and high-pitched as he finally loses himself in the pleasure.
Yunho increases his pace, and Mingi’s fingers dig into your skin as he matches the intensity. “That’s it, just let go,” he encourages, his voice a desperate plea.
The heat spirals through you, the sensation of being double filled amplifying everything. Your body arches back against Yunho, and with a final thrust from both sides—it pushes you over, and you come with a broken cry, clenching down around them.
Mingi loses it then, his hips stuttering as he spills inside you with a choked moan, his whole body shuddering against yours. Yunho isn’t far behind, his grip on you steady as he pushes deep one last time, burying himself as he loses control. He keeps moving through the aftershocks, drawing out every last drop of pleasure until you’re a trembling, spent mess in their arms.
They hold you there, their bodies pressed against yours, the heat of the moment fading into a heavy, sated silence. Mingi’s head rests on your shoulder, his breath ragged against your skin, while Yunho’s hand gently loosens around your throat, his lips pressing a softer kiss to the side of your neck.
You’re all left panting, tangled together in a messy heap, the air thick with the scent of sex and satisfaction. Mingi pulls out first, dropping back onto the bed with a breathless laugh. “Fuck, that was... intense.”
Yunho wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you against him as he presses a kiss to your shoulder. “Yeah, it was an intense anatomy lesson, but she took it like a champ,” he murmurs, voice full of pride. “Didn’t you, babe?”
You nod weakly, a small smile tugging at your lips as you relax into their warmth. “Yeah... I did.”
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by @woolysium
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redwineandtarot · 7 months ago
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your future spouse's first impression of you
hi! after a long time i am back with another reading❣️ i asked spirit using the term fs but you can use this for soulmates as well. please remember we have free will, i am just reading energies so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. i would love to hear your feedbacks <3
🥀paid readings🥀
Disclaimer: My readings do NOT replace any professional advice. Use your own judgment while making decisions. You have your own free will. Take everything I say light-heartedly. All of my readings are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.
pick a pile
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piles 1-2-3
all pictures are from pinterest.
pile 1
They will think that you are a selfless person. And that you are always ready to help others. Or fight for your values. But in a subtle way. To them you have a calming aura. They will also see you as someone reserved, someone who prefers to keep to themselves and speak less. From the first impression, you are someone who is a bit passive. 
They will think that you have a rich inner self. However you seem to be avoiding it. I don't really know what exactly this is but your fs will be confused as to why you are avoiding this amazing part of you.
You have a mystic and wise energy to you. And to them you look like someone that trusts the universe (or whatever you believe in). You also seem mysterious to them. They will be intrigued by you and will want to know more about you. Maybe it's because you are somewhat different from them. Like they may be an atheist and you may be a pagan or you two may come from different cultures etc. This difference will spark their interest in you. Because to them, you bring a different outlook on life.
They will think that you know how to balance things and can see the different parts of a situation. They will think that you try to be fair.
I don't know how your person will see this but they will think that you accept change as it is and with peace. Maybe it's your calm demeanor that made them think this way.
They will see you as someone who takes a lot on their plate. Maybe you struggle with saying no and end up helping everyone even if it burdens you. Or it's just the way they see you.
Around the time you first meet them you may be very busy. Also you or them (or both) maybe in your 30s. And you may have a 2 year age gap for some of you.
your song: intro: singularity-bts
significant placements: libra, pluto, 3rd house aquarius, uranus, 12th house leo, south node, 4th house
thank you for reading ❤️
pile 2
They will see you as someone reliable and nurturing. You have an earthy vibe to you (also fiery), to them. You look like that friend who never leaves their friends alone in their hard times. 
They will think that you have a lot of potential in you. And already doing quite good in life. You move slowly while making decisions. You think before you act. However when you decide something you move swiftly and get what you want. You seem passionate to them. The line “I want it, I got it” from 7 rings-ariana grande is your line!
They will think that you are quite attracted to them, lmao. But they may think that you already have someone in your life. Again they make a lot of assumptions so you may have not said anything about this topic but still they just can't sit still lol. They think that you shine a lot so maybe that's why they assume you are not alone or at least people are chasing you. 
They will think that you have a lot to offer. Emotion and passion wise.
To them you are quite firm on your beliefs. For some of you they may see you have a debate with someone or you may have a debate with them in your first meeting. Or it's just something that will allow them to see your argumentative side. 🔞They will think that you are s3xy when you get all bossy(?) like that lol.
You seem like someone who is quite comfortable in their own skin. However they will see the hard work behind this confidence. Idk they will try to analyze a lot probably. Like try to see through you. You may have had to work hard to gain your confidence and maybe you were self conscious/had a low self esteem but worked hard and became who you are today. Again this is in their eyes.
Some of you here could have brownish-reddish hair here. Or will have that color when you meet your fs.
you got two songs: better by myself- hey violet, to me-alina baraz
significant placements: saturn, 2nd house, cancer south node, 7th house, leo south node, 11th house, libra
thank you for reading ❤️
pile 3
First of all, you may have a purple aura. I know this is a bit off topic but it came through.
You may have a darker aesthetic or may prefer darker colors on your clothes around the time you meet your fs. And they notice this. They may notice your legs and think that they are beautiful. Also I heard, boobs/chest area for some of you.
They will think that you know how to enjoy life and enjoy yourself. You have this nonchalant energy to them. And they see you as someone who is not afraid to express themselves and live authentically. You are at peace in life. You love your life and seem to enjoy it. To them, you are like a “no bs” person. 
Like your clothing, you may like/like to search about what society deems as “dark”, like occult etc.
They will think that you are a disciplined person. However at first they may understand you wrong, this discipline can seem like the will to win no matter what, to them. They may see you as someone who is defensive and does not accept their faults. Someone who is willing to do almost everything to win. However I am not seeing that this is the case with you. Because of this later they may be ashamed of themselves. 
You also seem somewhat unattainable and unpredictable to them. But it's not like you do stupid things. It's more like when they think they know you, you say something totally unexpected about yourself. 
You have this great personality inside you. For them to see this side of you may take a while. I am not saying they will hate you but they will be a bit judgemental of you. You seem like the life of the party and like you are an authentic person but you are also such a deep person. However nonchalant you seem, you also have worries. And you have such a strong and a soft person inside you. They will see this eventually and embrace every part of you.
(For some of you this judgment may be because they are a bit more of a reserved person)
your song: take me-miso
significant placements: taurus, 3rd house, uranus leo, 11th house, neptune capricorn, 12th house, mercury
thank you for reading ❤️
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makeitmingi · 25 days ago
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Snuggles and Cuddles
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Genre: Romance, Comedy, Fluff
Pairing: Yunho x Reader (y/n)
Characters: Girlfriend!Reader, Boyfriend!Yunho, Mingi (Cameo)
Summary: Yunho has the best alcohol tolerance amongst his friends. However, after a night out, you didn't think that his best friend would bring him home, absolutely wasted. Seems like alcohol unlocks a whole new side of your boyfriend you didn't know existed
Word count: 3.4K
Warning(s): Alcohol consumption, drunk-ness, y/n babies Yunho and teases him but all in good fun
A/N: I started this, not really having idol Yunho in mind. But I guess with Puddeongi, it means he's an idol right? Idk, I mainly wanted Yunho and Puddeongi in this story lmao
Tonight was finally a night to relax. No late night meetings, no work assignments to complete, nothing. So you put a movie on, turned off the light and nestled a tub of ice cream in your hand, enjoying your night off to the max.
"What time in Yunho getting back?" You thought out loud, checking your phone. Before knowing you had a night off, Yunho had made plans to go out for drinks with his friends.
Of course, your ever loving, sweet boyfriend immediately wanted to cancel to spend time with you when he found out but you insisted he go.
'Don't wait up for me, lovey~ I might be back late or go crash at Mingi's. - your Yuyu'
The last text he sent you was at 9:30pm. It was approaching midnight but you were not that worried. Yunho could handle himself.
*DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG*
"Ah! Coming." You put your bowl down and shuffled over to the door, wondering who was ringing your doorbell so incessantly. When you opened it, you were surprised to see Mingi standing there, struggling to hold up your drunk boyfriend. Mingi's face brightened up when he saw you there.
"(y/n)! Thank god." Mingi let out a sigh of relief. You blinked, taking in the scene before you. You've never seen Yunho so intoxicated before, he usually holds his liquor well compared to his friends.
"I-Is he okay?" You were unsure of what to do. Yunho's face was so flushed and eyes were closed.
"He's fine. Just had a little bit too much to drink. I wanted to bring him back to mine but he insisted on coming back here." He sighed.
"Oh... Thanks for bringing him home, Mingi. Are you sober enough to go home on your own? You can crash here if you'd like." You offered with a soft smile.
"I'm fine. One drunk is enough to keep you busy." He chuckled, stumbling a little as Yunho swayed.
"Alright, let me know when you get back." You said. Mingi nodded and you went over to help him, softly cupping Yunho's cheeks.
"(y/n)!" Yunho suddenly exclaimed loudly, making you and Mingi jump. He opened his arms and threw them around you, causing you to almost fall over. Luckily you held the wall.
"Yah. Don't hurt her." Mingi slapped the back of Yunho's head.
"Owww, don't hit me." Yunho pouted, nuzzling his head against yours affectionately. You patted his back to comfort him. It wasn't easy to balance yourself when your giant boyfriend decided to put almost his entire weight on you.
"I've got it, Mingi. Thanks again." You giggled. Mingi nodded and patted Yunho's head.
"Don't give (y/n) a hard time, Yunho ah." Mingi chided before leaving. You closed the door with your foot and guided Yunho in. There was no choice but to put him on the couch first.
"Yunho, are you alright?" You asked. He maintained his pout and shook his head.
"What's wrong?" You went closer to him. He didn't say anything but hugged your waist, burying his face against your stomach.
"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. Does your stomach not feel good?" You asked, running your fingers through his hair lovingly. His face and body was so warm compared to yours.
"My head hurts~" He whined.
"Alright, let me get you some medicine." You wanted to pull away but he only tightened his grip on you, shaking his head again.
"Silly, the medicine will make your head feel better." You chuckled.
"Noooooo~ I just want you~" He whined. You let out a soft sigh, unsure of what to do with a drunk, whiny Yunho. But he was honestly so cute. Normally, he was always such a gentle giant, a golden retriever, but he was never this needy and clingy with you. It was a whole new side of him that was so endearing.
"Yuyu, why don't we change and go to bed? We can cuddle then go to sleep." You offered. He looked up at you with excitement and nodded his head.
"Come on." You held your hand out to him, still supporting his body as you entered your shared bedroom to go to the bathroom.
"Sit here." You closed the toilet cover and let Yunho sit there while you grabbed his clothes.
"Where are you going?" Yunho asked but still stayed in his spot.
"I just went to get you some clean clothes, babe. It'll be more comfortable for you." You replied, putting the shirt and pajama pants by the sink. Yunho tilted his head.
"Arms up." You instructed. Yunho obediently raised his arms as you removed his shirt and helped him into one of his home shirts. It was hard when it came to changing his pants since his legs were so long, it was a struggle but you managed to do it.
"You're pretty." He giggled as he watched you wet a cloth with a dreamy grin on his face.
"Thanks?" You chuckled and wrung the cloth, proceeding to wipe his face gently since you didn't want to risk him showering and possibly falling or hurting himself in any way.
"I want to hold you." He said, arms reaching out for you like a sad child.
"I promise you can later, hmm?" You stroked his head. You rinsed the cloth and wiped his arms.
"This should cool you down." You carefully wiped his neck as well, which made him laugh and squirm. Yunho's laugh was always so infectious to you, the way he throws his head back to laugh.
"That tickles! And it's cold~." He giggled. You laughed along with him and grabbed his mouthwash.
"Do you think you can you rinse your mouth?" You asked since you didn't know how to help someone brush their teeth. He looked at you then the mouthwash, thinking for a while before nodding his head slowly. You had a watchful eye as he gargled the mouthwash.
"Spit." You instructed and he did. Thankfully he didn't swallow it.
"Good job, Yuyu." You reached up to pat his head. Yunho grinned bashfully at your praise and threw his arms around you.
"You smell nice~ So nice~" He buried his face against your shoulder, making you melt. You were wearing Yunho's shirt as a dress since he was so tall, like you always did. So you basically smelt like him.
"Let's get you to bed." You moved him out of the bathroom and to the bed.
"Here, I'll let you hug Puddeongi tonight." You helped him under the covers, grabbing Puddeongi and putting in into his arms.
"Hi, Puddeongi." He shyly waved to the plush as it stared back at him. He giggled and patted the plush's tummy. You had a stifle a laugh. You were usually the one to hug Puddeongi to sleep since Yunho preferred to hug you. Sometimes, he would even steal Puddeongi so you had 'no choice' but to hug him instead.
"Wait! Where are you going?!" Yunho genuinely looked like he was going to cry when he felt you pulling away from him. You stroked his hand to calm him down.
"I'm just gonna clear up, Yun. I'll be right back, I promise." You squeezed his hand.
"Promise?" Yunho pouted sadly and it did tug at your heart a little, seeing him so sad. You nodded your head.
"Okay..." He reluctantly let go of your hand, letting you go clean up. You went out to the living to wash your dirty ice cream bowl and turn off the television.
"See? I told you I'll be back, Yunho." You re-entered the room, seeing Yunho sulk, his cheek squished against Puddeongi's body. But when he heard you, he immediately perked up with a bright smile.
However, you didn't come back to bed immediately. Instead, you went to the bathroom to grab his dirty clothes that were on the ground and threw them into the laundry basket. You didn't want you or Yunho to trip while coming in. But you made sure you were in Yunho's view the entire time.
"(y/n)... Do you have a boyfriend?" Yunho asked as you moved around the room. From your position at the sink, you turned to see him sitting up, Puddeongi in his lap.
"Why is he so cute?" You mumbled to yourself, taking your phone to quickly snap a picture of him.
"I do." You nodded with a chuckle, washing your own face since you did sweat a little while helping Yunho. Yunho appreciated that you kept the door to the bathroom open so he could see you.
"Your boyfriend is very lucky to have you. You're so pretty." He replied with a serious tone.
"Yun, you are my boyfriend." You reminded.
"Oh... I am? Then I am very lucky to have you." He smiled, letting out a big sigh of relief. You laughed at him and hung the rinsed cloth up to dry then crawled into bed with him.
"Comfy?" You pulled the covers up after he laid back down, Puddeongi squished against his cheek. He nodded his head.
"Goodnight, Yun. I love you." You leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. But before you could turn around to turn off the bedside lamp, you noticed the pout and frown that was still on his face as he looked up at you.
"What's wrong? Does your head still hurt? Or your tummy?" You asked worriedly, stroking his head. Since he didn't let you get the medicine for him earlier, you didn't want him to be in pain.
"I want to hold you. Just now, you promised I could." He said with disappointment.
"I know, Yun. I'm just turning off the light and we can cuddle after." You smiled, turning off the light.
"I'm right here, okay?" You laced fingers with him. Yunho somehow managed to put Puddeongi on top of you to hug both you the plush in his arms.
"Hmm~ Hmm~" You heard Yunho making little noises.
"What's up, Yun?" You asked.
"Nothing. I'm just happy. I have you~ Puddeongi~" He said, kicking his feet with excitement. You were sure that if he was really a golden retriever, his tail would be thumping against the bed in happiness.
"Alright, happy boy. Go to sleep." You reached up to pat his head. You changed your position, letting Yunho hug your waist alongside Puddeongi, so he could lay his head on your chest to be the small spoon. His face and body were still a little warm but you liked having him close to you.
"Your heartbeat is pretty." He mumbled. Now you knew he was spewing nonsense. You giggled and stroked his head to try to lull him to sleep.
*BZZ BZZ*
"Hang on." You moved away to check your phone, unaware that Yunho was looking over your shoulder with a frown on his face.
'Hey, sorry I forgot to shoot you a text. I guess I fell asleep on the couch the moment I got back, didn't even have time to remove my shoes. But I'm back safe. - Mingi'
"Your phone light makes my head hurt. Stop." He whined, burying his face against your back.
"It's just your best friend telling me he's home safe." You informed, sending a quick reply to Mingi to give him an update about Yunho too.
"Ugh! Why are you talking to other guys? You said I am your boyfriend!" He huffed angrily, showing his frustration. You turned to look at him with a raised eyebrow. The room was dark but the light from your phone illuminated his face a little.
"Yun... He's your best friend. He brought you home safely, we should make sure he got home safe too." You spoke to him slowly. Yunho turned his nose up from you.
"You big baby." You rolled your eyes but put your phone down. You were actually a little worried that your phone hurt his head.
"Okay, you just cuddle Puddeongi tonight. Goodnight, Yun." You wished. But suddenly, Yunho glued himself to you.
"Am not a baby." He mumbled against your chest as he hugged you like before, sandwiching you between the bed and Puddeongi. You hummed to appease him.
"I love you." He murmured as he drifted off to sleep.
"Love you too." You kissed his head and joined Yunho in dreamland.
The next time you woke up, Yunho had rolled away from you, snuggling with Puddeongi. You smiled softly and brushed his fringe away from his face so it wouldn't bother him.
"Rest well." You whispered. You couldn't help it, grabbing your phone to take a picture. Seeing Yunho's face squished against Puddeongi, it was too cute not to take a pic. After that, you tucked your phone away and adjusted the blanket over him before leaving the bedroom to let him sleep more.
When Yunho reached over, he expected his hand to reach yours or at least, your body. He didn't expect the empty space.
"Baby???" He sat up, looking at the Puddeongi in his lap in confusion. Why was he hugging Puddeongi and not you? He winced as he felt the pounding in his head.
"God..." He groaned, falling forward. When he heard the door open, he sat back up immediately.
"(y/n)?!"
"Woah, woah. Slow down, big guy. Are you alright?" You blinked in surprise at his reaction. He seemed like he was about to leap into your arms or something.
"You were not here." He sulked.
"I know, I wanted you to sleep more. And I cooked you food, you're always hungry after a night of drinking." You replied, sitting down.
"Gosh, what happened last night...? My head hurts so bad." He groaned and fell forward, leaning his head on your shoulder. You reached up to try and massage his head, hopefully being able to alleviate some of his pain.
"You don't remember anything?" You asked. He shook his head.
"It's okay. Here, I brought you some hangover cure and ginger ale, it'll help your head and tum. You can take meds later if you need." You told him, retrieving what you brought in for him.
"Lifesaver." Yunho said, downing the hangover cure. His face scrunched up at the bitterness but he chased it with the ginger ale.
"H-How did I get home? A taxi?" He asked.
"Mingi brought you home. He said he was going to bring you back to his to crash but you insisted on being brought home." You smiled. Yunho frowned slightly, trying to remember what happened.
"I'm drawing blanks here. I guess I really overdid it last night. Thank you for taking care of me, sorry if I troubled you." He sighed.
"What are you saying? Don't apologise, it's no trouble at all. You always take care of me when I'm on my period, we take care of each other when we're sick. It's just what we do, hmm? So no need to thank me and no need to apologise." You stroked his cheek and he leaned into your touch.
"That's right." He smiled, lifting your hand to kiss the back of it.
"So you really don't get remember anything?" You checked. Yunho's eyes widened at your words, shaking his head slowly.
"I-I didn't do anything, did I? Oh my god, did I hurt you?!" Yunho's hands flew to cover his mouth as he moved back from you, as if he was really scared.
"No! No, not at all, Yun. You didn't hurt me. I trust that you would never hurt me, no matter how intoxicated." You smiled softly.
"Phew! Cause if I did, I'll never forgive myself. I'll pack up and leave now." He let out a shaky sigh of relief.
"Okay, calm down. You didn't hurt me, no need to pack up and go anywhere." You chuckled. He smiled and leaned over to give you a kiss to your forehead, he was really the sweetest.
"You were mighty adorable though. I've never seen you like that before in all our years of being together." You giggled. Yunho merely looked at you and blinked in confusion at your words. You took your phone out and showed him the pictures that you took of him with Puddeongi.
"Delete this!" He yelled, grasping the device, his ears and neck turning red in embarrassment.
"No way! You were so cute. You were all whiny and clingy, wanting to hold me the entire time, kept saying I was pretty. I even needed to remind you that my boyfriend was you." You said.
"Please, if you love me, delete this. And delete from your brain what happened last night." He begged.
"I love you and I'm keeping this. When I let you hug Puddeongi, you even went 'hi Puddeongi'." You imitated the cute wave he did.
"Please stop, I beg you." He buried his face in his hands.
"Alright, I'll stop. Let's go eat the ramen I cooked you before it gets cold and soggy." You patted his head. Yunho nodded and went to brush his teeth before coming out to the kitchen.
You won't tell him that he was jealous of you texting Mingi last night, he seemed embarrassed enough. But thinking about it again made you laugh to yourself.
"Wait, are you still laughing at me?" Yunho stopped in his tracks when he caught you laughing quietly on your own. You lied and shook your head, putting the bowl of spicy ramen in front of him then grabbing him chopsticks and a spoon.
"Mmm, that hits the spot." He sighed blissfully after taking a sip of the salty, spicy soup. Thankfully it distracted him from how you were laughing at him.
"Are you eating, baby? You can have some." Yunho held his bowl out to you.
"It's alright, I had toast and coffee earlier when I woke up." You told him with a smile, placing your hand over his.
"That was great, just what I needed. Thank you, baby." Yunho leaned over to give you a kiss. You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck, Yunho took the opportunity to pull you down into his lap.
"Can we spend the rest of the day in bed?" He asked, resting his cheek against your shoulder.
"Of course, you might want to shower first though. I only wiped your face, neck and arms when you came back." You informed.
"Are you telling me I smell?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Well, even with a change of clothes, you did spend the night out in a public place and you kind of smell like day-old booze." You wrinkled your nose. Yunho rolled his eyes but leaned in to nuzzle his cheek against yours lovingly. While you cleaned up and did the dishes, Yunho went to take a shower.
"Ah, that was great." Yunho sighed blissfully as he stepped out of the bathroom. You sat up on the bed, putting your phone aside.
"Come." You patted the space in front of you. Yunho happily climbed over to you, leaning down as you helped him towel dry his hair like you always do.
"You have to comb your hair. It's always so frizzy and poofy." You giggled as you grabbed his brush.
"I know, that's why I have you to do it for me." He turned around to smile at you.
"All done." You went to put the towel back in the bathroom. When you came out, you saw Yunho laying there with his arm around Puddeongi as he checked his phone.
"Look at you being best friends after I let you spend the night holding him." You teased. Yunho shot you a glare and shoved Puddeongi back into your arms.
"Come here. I would rather hug you." He opened his arms and you slotted yourself in them. Yunho always insisted that you fit so perfectly in his arms. You hugged Puddeongi tight, he smelt like a mix of you and Yunho now.
"So, why did you and the boys drink so much last night? I mean, you've never gotten so drunk before." You asked.
"Oh... I don't know, I can't remember." Yunho shook his head. You hummed. You didn't know that Yunho was lying, he knew why the boys kept pouring him drinks last night.
It had to do with the small velvet ring box that was hidden in the pocket of his blazer in the closet.
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jjunieworld · 2 months ago
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ˋ🧾 ‎⸝⸝⸝ interview with the rockstars
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hehe this one is for @ghstzzn and @silvergyus (´▽`ʃƪ)♡ these elle korea pictures sent me into an absolute frenzy, i just had to write something about it!! hehe so enjoy this quick intermission ^^
𝔀arnings ⦂ nsfw minors dni. rockstar!tyunning, journalist!reader, threesome, unprotected sex, face fucking / deep throating, oral (m. rec), dirty talk, degradation, name calling & petnames, kinda mean dom!taehyun (i’m sorry i’m obsessed!!), soft dom!kai, some praise, creampie, facial, cum eating?, manhandling, there’s a lot of cum lmao
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that elle korea photoshoot made me think of late 80s rockstar!tyunning who are in the middle of touring and you as a small journalist trying to get an interview with them… elbowing other bigger journalists for a fighting chance in the crowd but to no use.
that is… until the interview of a lifetime gets landed on your desk. somehow, someway, your boss managed to get them to agree to have you interview them, and you jumped at the opportunity!
now here you were, sitting in front of them with the bright lights and cameras surrounding you as you asked them various questions—trying to not think about how all of their answers are just the slightesttt bit suggestive…! (∩˃o˂∩)
“i like to get ‘em real wet, it’s easier to slide in that way,” taehyun responded. you momentarily blinked, completely caught off guard. a smirk was playing on his lips as he stared you down while kai chuckled at your reaction.
you glanced over towards the camera crew quickly and cleared your throat. “pardon?”
kai leaned forward in his seat that he was lounging in, a playful smile tugging the corners of his mouth up. “it’s notoriously difficult to get in leather pants, you know! and we wear them almost every night!” he then looked you up and down as he settled back in his seat. “have you ever worn them? leather? or perhaps latex? you look like you know how to slide on latex.”
the heat in your face was increasingly growing and you squirmed in the uncomfortable chair you were sitting in as more and more sexual innuendos fell from their lips. your thighs pressed together to try and help stop the slick forming in your panties, but it was absolutely useless, and your heart raced so fast and so loud you were sure they heard it. they just smirked more at you, heads tilted to the side as they awaited more of your questions.
“fuckkk, who knew you could suck cock as well as you could talk…” taehyun moaned as he thrusted deeper down your throat, holding your head in place. you felt him twitch as you gagged around his length. behind you, kai moaned loudly at the sudden way your pussy clenched down on him as you bounced. his fingers dug into your hips as he guided you up and down faster.
fat tears streamed down your face as you looked up at taehyun, drool dripping down your chin from the corners of your mouth. “awee, do you not have anymore questions for us?” taehyun cooed as his hips snapped against you. “is your mouth too full? hm, slut?”
you whimpered around his thick cock just as kai started fucking up into your already overstimulated cunt. your eyes squeezed shut as more cum dripped out of you and down his length, making where the two of you joined together more messy and white. more whimpers and whines struggled to leave your mouth as kai kept fucking you, hips shaking as they slammed up into yours with another release. loud squelching and creamy wet sounds reverberated off the walls of the room that you were in.
“a-answer him. he doesn’t like to be kept waiting,” kai exhaled sharply as he pulled your hips down so none of his cum dripped out of you. “you liked our answers, didn’t you, baby? don’t think i didn’t notice the way your thighs were pressing together.” he spoke through jagged breaths. his hands grabbed at the plush of your thighs and pulled them further apart.
you lost your balance and fell forward, gagging loudly as you took more of taehyun down your throat by accident. you used his hips to steady yourself as you nodded. “mhm,” you mumbled in responded and taehyun swore sharply before pulling his cock out of your mouth.
“of course she liked them, look at her now��letting the two of us stuff her full of our cum like our own little cumslut.” he stroked himself, soft whimpers emitting from him until he finally came all over your pretty face. “f-fuck!” he shakily swore.
taehyun pulled you off of kai and in the process all of his cum dripped out of you and down your thighs. you were then dragged to the edge of the bed with taehyun situated behind you, standing, his hands at your hips. kai moved from his laying position and moved towards you on the bed, still-hard cock wet with both of your previous releases and dripping cum. “be a good little whore and suck him off, will you?” taehyun said.
taehyun didn’t waste any pushing himself into your sensitive pussy, making you lurch forward into kai. you cried out in shock as kai steadied you, that same playful smile from earlier on his face. “you’re doing so well, baby.”
kai placed the tip of his cock onto your wet and swollen lips and tapped them as taehyun harshly fucked you from behind. you sniffled and slowly opened your mouth, taking him down your throat inch by inch as he let out a string of moans. “just like that, that’s it,” he breathed.
you inhaled hard through your nose as you stared up at him, bobbing your head and sucking in your cheeks. kai cupped your face, subtly moving your head up and down on his cock faster. “if you keep being a good girl for us we might even give you an exclusive.”
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[ kipo’s note . . . ] claws at the bars of my enclosure and howls at the moon as i transform into a werewolf.. I NEED THEM SO BAD. hehe can you tell the title is based off of interview with the vampire (´ω`*) save me rockstar!tyunning who uses my body for their own personal gain… save me…. rips clothes off as i run into the woods.
∿ [ continue on to . . . masterlist , taglist , request ] all feedback and reblogs are welcome! ♡
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punkpandapatrixk · 4 months ago
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🏖Your Own Standards of Beauty ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card
I’ve seen one too many times East Asian YouTubers, when talking about EA’s ‘rigid standards of beauty’ giving this sense of defensiveness or helplessness—because it’s culture, right? With every fibre of my mixed ancestry I loathed that particular brand of apologist behaviour.
‘Nature is busy creating absolutely unique individuals, whereas culture has invented a single mold to which all must conform. It is grotesque.’ – U.G. Krishnamurti
Up until fairly recently, I was still struggling with comprehending the thought process behind this ‘invention’ of a grotesquely small and narrow mould of beauty and conduct to which ALL East Asians must abide lest you’re a total disharmonious failure. After some long and hard rumination, frustration, accompanied by occasional bouts of repugnance, I think I finally get ‘why’.
Almost ALL people in East Asia ALL LOOK THE SAME!!! By nature!!! LMAO LMAO People can ONLY have black hair and black eyes LMAO Ahahahohohhahah I think these Asians were never ‘socialised’ to appreciate variety. Hahhh that’s so pathetic. If this really is the reason, man, it’s pathetic as fuck. Ionno tho. You think I’ve figured it out.
All I know is that East Asians must repent for all the sins they’ve committed against childhood, individuality, creativity, aaand society and Humanity itself. Yes, Humanity. Standing on the side of all genetically diverse peoples of Asia, such as the Ainus, Mongols, Uyghurs, to some extent the Zainichis, and sooo many other ‘anomalies’ who, in recent history, have been cast aside and treated poorly only because they don’t ‘fit in’ to the ideals and cultures of the main races of some purebred fucks.
For all I care, the part of East Asian culture that has birthed this infamous ‘rigid standards of beauty, and, conduct’ can go to fucking hell. If you’re the type of person who’s even the slightest bit proud—or defensive—of this you can go and fuck yourself. No one should be proud of that kind of a racist, fascist, repulsive, little bitch mindset. Are you a little bitch? I ain’t one.
I am a Supreme Bitch! Imma be myself and do whatever the fuck I want and look however I want. And if my society can’t take that? Those types of people—Asian or no Asian—can die on the wrong side of history! I. AM. MY OWN. PROTOTYPE.
perspective: Why BUSHIDO Is The Root of All Social Problems in Japan by Let’s ask Shogo
documentary: WE ARE X on YouTube (watch before it’s taken down LOL)
‘X challenged a conservative Japanese society and showed us a new way to be. They started a revolution, honestly.’
‘Be proud!! Be proud of yourself! We are!! X!!!’
deck-bottom: X(!?!) The Wheel of Fortune, Priestess of Ambition, Gold Magus (Johannes Faustus)
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings]
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – A Light of Innocence in this Insanely Debased World
playlist: silly playlist for silly people with rare songs!! by Rita wild
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the TYPA beauty you are – Page of Cups
You are someone who’s known for being quite childlike. It could be that you do look young, but it’s mostly your mannerism. Technically speaking, it’s just YOU being the happy pill that you are. Listen, some of you tuning into this Pile could be dark and sombre on the inside—especially if you have a significant Scorpio/Pluto about you or if you’ve had a very unhappy childhood—but the way you’re perceived on the outside is totally bright, beautifully soft and pleasant, and dang, people really be liking your aenergy when you’re in a room.
You’re the type of beauty that exudes ‘purity’ in the most innocent way, no matter how you look or dress. You could be perceived as ethereal or unreal. otherworldly in a sense that you don’t seem to fit in this dimension. Are you an alien? Are you a goddess? Are you a fairy, elf, or an anime character? People may not have the exact words to describe you but you’re INTERDIMENSIONAL is what’s going on.
It isn’t just your physical beauty or the attractive way that you smile. People may not realise this themselves either but what’s truly beautiful about you is this VIBE or AURA that you generate from having a vastly pure heart. No, no, not pure in the sense that you never think sexy thoughts, what? Pure in the sense that you really operate from your Higher Heart and has very little ego driving your ambitions in Life~^_☆-v
effects on the world around you – Ace of Cups Rx
Basically, you just love beautiful things. You always look for beautiful things. And you make an effort to surround yourself with things you find beautiful in your own standards. And in a way, you’re also the kind of person who sees beauty in everything and everybody. You’re the type of person who sees Light even in a narc’s darkest corners of their blackened heart (if they had one), which is really such a beautiful thing but could also prove DANGEROUS!
It’s wonderful to have childlike wonder but it ain’t cool whatsoever to be childish enough not to acknowledge the presence of evil fucks. Bad people exist, OK? Very predatory and murderous people exist, OK? And it’s a spectrum. And you’ve been such an easy target for those on the milder spectrum of psychopathy! Babe! OMG You’re often drained of good aenergy after catering to the stupid whims of very narcissistic, histrionic, pathetic, selfish and whiney fucks.
STOP THAT. Of all the Piles, you’re the type of soft beauty who’s often underestimated and taken for granted just because you’re always so positive. If not ‘positive’ per se, you’re perceived as ‘strong’, so those types of people don’t even feel shame for constantly taking and demanding your aenergy. Keep allowing that long enough and your physical beauty could be drained out of you by the time your First Saturn Return jaywalks along and smacks you in the head.
keep being you, Glorious One – 6 of Swords Rx
Truly, you’re a silly angel who holds the power to absorb other people’s pain and gloomy feelings. But if this is your main pile, thing is, you might not have learnt how to release or transmute the negativity you’ve absorbed from your surroundings. It is paramount that you learn to call upon divine protection so that you’re shielded from the Evil Eye of those who are envious of your beauty and feel silly in your purity. Your Spirit Guides aren’t saying that you should stop being innocent, right?
A Soul like you is very rare in this perverted world. Some people might say, ‘They don’t make people like you anymore…’ WRONG. You’re the catalyst, if anything. By your example, there’s gonna be MORE people who are gonna be comfortable in their purity. Knowing that there’s nothing wrong with them for being this way. Fully comprehending that it is this world that’s gone too insane, and DEBASED. And this world has been this way for far longer than people realise. I mean, I’m sure you’re aware of how inhumane most people were in the medieval times LOL
Keep being the innocent and pure you, Glorious One. What you’re being advised to do is learn to set healthy boundaries from which you can still shine your Light safely. I’m being told that many of you choosing this Pile, due to your heightened sense of aesthetic, might want to have a social media presence or any kind of public platform where you’re free to share bits and pieces of your beautiful Life as a form of your Lightwork. Some kind of a lifestyle influencer?
I’m thinking of channels and blogs that typically share aesthetic daily vlogs and stuff like that—like nemui atelier on YouTube. You know what I mean; I don’t know what I mean XD
YOUR BEAUTY KILLS🔻💙
story of your evolution – Priestess of Prosperity
a legacy of authenticity – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – An Unexpectedly Romantic Dreamer of Luxury
playlist: songs like 𝑚𝑦 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒 (MITSKI) by song with love
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the TYPA beauty you are – 2 of Cups
Ah~! You are such a dreamy and romantic beauty! You’re soft, elegant, sweet and lovely, with a kicking spice for those who would get on your bad side LMAO You’re actually a lot tougher than appearances give but most people don’t always get this until they’ve gotten to know you. For the most part, at first glance, at first encounter, you’re a sweet goddess, who probably gets projected on a lot.
You really have an unassuming quality about you. So then, people think there’s not much going on within and think it’s easy to typecast you into something, with some simplistic label. People think it’s easy to figure you out and classify you into some kind of a dream girl who’s always going to be nice, warm and friendly with everybody. You’re not. You’re a totally self-respecting babe. Actually, you really hate it when people act like they know you.
When people act like they’re close, buddy-buddy with you, it’s super annoying and depending on your mood that day, you could sometimes feel this urge to break people’s faces. But you don’t do that; you’re too nice. And you’ve got a plethora of coping mechanisms to deal with how annoyed you are with your surrounding XD Good for you!
effects on the world around you – 5 of Swords Rx
First of all, I think many of you tapping into this Pile love shopping. Retail is definitely your therapy. Is this good? Is this bad? Depends, I guess. You tend to spend money gregariously or consume a lot of food, or buy a lot of aesthetic knickknacks, or buy a lot of arts and craft as a means of therapy. Deep down, you’re somebody who has a lot of anger or a general sense of dissatisfaction with the world you’re a part of and this rage, almost, needs to be channelled creatively.
There’s a perpetual sense of disgust inside of you. You’re keen to observe and notice how much Humanity is failing. Everything that is ugly about society and people in general disgusts you. That’s why it’s important for you to live in beauty or indulge in creativity. That’s why it is paramount that your immediate surrounding, that your own Life, within what you’re able to control, is beautified to the max. You could be quite desperate in this pursuit because this is some kind of an overcompensation for the beauty and creativity that you feel is lacking in the world.
Your aenergy is kinda reminding me of this quote by the iconic Edie Sedgwick when describing why she dressed up the way she did:
‘When I was girl of the year and superstar and all that crap, everything I did was really…motivated by psychological disturbance. But I’d make a mask out of my face because I didn’t realize I was quite beautiful…I had to wear heavy black eyelashes like bat wings and dark lines under my eyes. Cut all of my hair off and strip it silver and blond. All these little manoeuvres I did out of things that were happening in my life that upset me. I’d freak out in a very physical way, and…it was all taken in a fashion trend.’
In fact, I think all of her famous words here could resonate with you. You are what trend-setters and superstars are made of, that much of your effect on the world is certain~
keep being you, Glorious One – Queen of Pentacles
Really, that’s all dandy as long as you can make a living out of your pursuit of beauty and creativity. This about you is really something that you can utilise as a means of therapy, self-care and self-improvement because you really are an artist, one way or another. It would be wonderful if you could monetise your beauty and creativity in some trendy way.
If you feel that you’re not particularly good at any kind of ‘real’ art, then you can ‘serve face’ to help other people sell their shit. You don’t think this is smart enough? Muses are often people who don’t do art—rather they inspire Art in the minds and hearts of other artists. Truly, you are an artist; but those of you tuning into this Pile who feel like you’re not one…you are potentially someone’s Muse.
Luxury is yours for the taking. But a lot of people in this world pursue luxury and some form of fame for vapid reasons and that often makes people very unhappy. Your Spirit Guides are saying that you do have a talent for balancing modern money-making and self-care. I think what they mean to say is that, you can be the prototype for how people can be completely and uniquely offbeat whilst still maintaining a good work-life balance.
After all, you do remember how much people like to project on you, right? Well, use them to make Life a lot easier! XD After all, it’s not like their projection and labelling would be useful any other way LOL🐙
YOUR BEAUTY KILLS🔻💜
story of your evolution – Priestess of Luxury
a legacy of authenticity – Green Historian (Herodotus)
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – A Ghostly Bitch Witch Who’s Quite Literally a Fucken Sigma
playlist: Everything Is Still Under Control by Mabisyo
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the TYPA beauty you are – Queen of Wands Rx
You, are, by nature, magical. You’re incredibly magnetic and this ain’t even something you’ve needed to work on; it all comes naturally. If anything, it seems you’ve needed to learn the very hard way how to shield yourself from aenergy vampires. You’ve needed to work on your boundary. This is because it took you such a long time to realise most everybody around you was nothing but anklebiters. These were people who just wanted to be seen orbiting you because doing so would elevate their status or image.
Whether or not you’re aware of it, you’re quite literally thee IT girl. You’re also THAT girl, because a lot of what you do and just who you are is very aspirational. Well of course aspirational to the motivated ones; to the weak, lame-ass ones? Almost everything about you is irritating. And most people are really lame, don’t we all agree on this? So you may have felt like you’re really quite an unlikeable character. WRONG. Dead wrong. It’s not you; it’s your lame-ass environment.
You’re a Queen of Passion who’s been living in peasant quarters, figuratively speaking. You’ve been surrounded by misers who don’t even understand why it’s deeply important for them to raise their own standards of authenticity. Thing is, they can’t afford to be authentic. It’s probably not entirely their fault—after all, peasants are highly dependent on thee System. Not you. You’re the menacingly magnetic bitch witch of a system buster!
effects on the world around you – 8 of Cups
As much as you make an effort to be left alone, you magnetise admirers to no end. This is reminiscent of Greta Garbo’s famous quote, ‘I never said, "I want to be alone". I only said, "I want to be left alone". There is a whole world of difference.’ It’s true with you as well. You’re not necessarily an antisocial bitch who hates people; you just want to be left alone by gluttonous gossipers and silly simpers. You find it hard to grasp why people behave unreasonably in society, all, the, time.
You yearn for a more intellectual world where people behave honourably, which is quite paradoxical considering you’re often perceived as quite scandalous in your behaviour and lifestyle choices as well. For example, you could be gay or queer? You could desire to defy social norms such as ‘having to marry by a certain age’? You either reject social norms or you live completely opposite to what’s expected of your gender, nationality or age. You don’t like being told how to live your Life as if you couldn’t work it out yourself. It's YOUR Life, right?
It’s MY Life! My Story! Is what you say.
You’re the kind of super bad bitch that gives no one permission to decide how you should sail your ship. You’re at the wheel so you’re gonna sail the world however best you know. You’re gonna learn a ton because you’re not afraid of detours or delays or whatever—you could meet accidents, hopefully not fatal ones, but you’re going to learn. That’s what growing up well is all about for you. And if you meet the right kind of audience, your whole AURA is going to empower them to do just the same for themselves~
keep being you, Glorious One – 4 of Cups Rx
You are destined for an exciting Life. In fact, you’re meant to have an audience, have some kind of impact on the world, you’re meant to become some kind of a famous person. Could be a celeb, yeah, but in this social media era, literally everybody can have their own unique kind of celebrity, right? You’re meant to be seen, heard, listened to, watched, analysed (LOL), and learn from.
You’re somebody who’s rare and your perspectives are deeply needed by this world. This world that’s often blindsided by optical illusions. Of all people, you’re the only one who’s not getting sucked into the mirage of mass media and deceitful politicians. You’re the one who’s noticing where the lies are all at. And you need to point that shit out, spell it out for other people to see what’s truly going on in this world.
You could gain enemies, lots of them, in fact; but you are definitely gaining a massive following far greater than that if you remain authentic and courageous. Stay spooky. Stay scandalous. Stay gloriously YOU~ You’ve no idea just how much that Light of yours is needed in this world of long shadows. Keep your Third Eye open and keep your divine protection. Most people have yet to catch on to the one thing that makes YOU superfluously attractive: a courageous Heart that seeks to liberate others from the chains of their own cowardice.
YOUR BEAUTY KILLS🔻🧡
story of your evolution – Priestess of Luck
a legacy of authenticity – Green Magus (John Dee)
Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸
☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 2]
[Patreon] [Paid Readings]
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sserasin · 3 months ago
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i'm gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure. g!p minji x stepsis!reader.. a little dumbification.. mommy kink as a treat.. those r my only requests . everything else i trust ur creative process Blindly and Patiently
cw nsfw under cut, stepcest, mommy kink, g!p minji, dumbification, breeding kink, breathplay, light praise, unprotected sex be smart, hint towards puppy play at the end lmao
at times like this, minji loves that she lives in the same house as you. it meant she didn’t need to sneak in through a window to be able to fuck you.
she has you sprawled out on your back, staring up at her with thinly glossed eyes. she guides her cock up and down your slit, not fully going in yet. your hips wriggle, shifting up so her cock will slip into you but she tuts, shaking her head and uses her free hand to lay on your abdomen to keep you still. “what did mommy say? don’t— move—” she sighs, pressing harder into your abdomen when you still try and struggle.
“mo—mommy,” you cry out but she quickly shushes you, pecking your lips.
“be quiet, baby. you don’t wanna mom to hear you and come in, thinking you’re in trouble, do we?” she hums condescendingly, and she watches your eyes grow wide in fear and shake your head furiously. she smiles, “good girl. be patient.”
minji coats her cock in your juices, teasing you at the same time. “don’t— don’t do that,” you whine, “i’ll cum!”
her brows raise, “with just me rubbing my dick over your pretty pussy? wow, honey. you must be really, really needy,” she wants to push your hair out of your face, but she keeps her hands where they are. “you gotta be quiet, okay?” she reminds you.
you nod hurriedly, “i kno—” your voice breaks off into a squeak as she shoves herself in you, her cock stretching your walls deliciously. your mouth is wide open, a silent moan leaving your lips. you feel so, so full— it’s a bit overwhelming.
minji doesn’t give you a second to adjust to her, rocking her hips forward into you and watching your eyes roll to the back of your head. “there you go,” she grunts, biting back a smirk as she lifts your legs up over her thighs. “such a good girl for me, aren’t you? leaving your door unlocked for me… sleeping without any panties on…”
the new angle makes you gasp, hands clutching her forearms tightly as a small moan leaves your lips. it seems like she’s fucking the sounds right out of you with each thrust, the bed creaking and making enough noise for the both of you. you’d be a bit worried your parents would hear, but you couldn’t exactly find yourself caring right now.
“mommy, please,” you whimper, body jerking back and forth as your nails cut half moon shaped in her arms. “i’ve been a—a good girl, p-please…” your lip is trembling as a tear slips down your face, face screwing up in pleasure.
“please what, hm?” she asks, slowing her pace down and quickly clamping a hand over your mouth before you can shriek at her for slowing down. “please let you cum?” you nod.
minji doesn’t give you another reply, pulling out of you with her hand moving to cover both your mouth and nose, constricting your breath. your eyes widen at her, feeling your throat close up as she slams forward, filling you up. without another word, she’s fucking into you like your parents aren’t in the next room over and can probably hear the bed-frame slamming against your wall.
your hand clutches at her wrist, tugging and tapping at it but she doesn’t let up. her other thumb slips down between you to rub at your clit, the added simulation making your legs twitch painfully. “you gonna take it?” she asks, breathing heavily as she pulls your legs over her shoulders now. “take all my cum and not let a single drop drip out of you? gonna keep it in you for the rest of the night and hope it takes? i hope it does.” it’s sloppy and messy, but she keeps hitting your g-spot perfectly and you can’t find yourself to care that your juices are leaking to your sheets or that every time her pelvis hits yours, it hurts. you can’t think of anything, actually— just the need and want for her to finally let you cum and fill you up with her own.
you don’t reply, eyes rolling back as you become a fucktoy for her to use as she pleases. spots cloud your vision, and at first you can’t tell if it’s because you’re losing unconsciousness or just because she’s fucked you that good.
with a loud groan, she releases into you at the same time you come around her cock. she rocks her hips back and forth, finally letting go of your mouth and nose to catch the drops that fall with each movement. you cough, gratefully welcoming the air that goes into your lungs.
minji doesn’t pull out of you, pushing the bits that drop out back in with her fingers. she looks down at you, but she can tell you’re not really all there. your eyes are lidded, chest stuttering as you gasp for breath. your hand is still loosely gripping her wrist, staring up at the ceiling with your tongue half out your mouth.
“maybe i should call you puppy instead of baby, hm?” she whispers, knowing you couldn’t actually hear her.
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wheeboo · 7 months ago
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laundry day | hansol vernon chwe
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SYNOPSIS. in which it's laundry day and you're in a bit of an embarrassing predicament. PAIRING. hansol vernon chwe x gn!reader (however, sorta implied that reader is more leaning toward fem) GENRE. fluff, humour?, best friends/roommates to lovers WARNINGS. cursing, vernon is checking reader out lowkey, reader embarrassingly wears hello kitty underwear i don't make the rules, ik vernon is mainly chill but in this they bicker <3, this was very stupid n silly lmfao WORD COUNT. 1.6k
requested from @weird-bookworm: lemme be annoying already— noni + #16 and #59 from list 1!! - #16: "You hugged me like your personal pillow." - #59: "Laundry day doesn’t mean walking around in your underwear, but for you, I’ll make an exception."
notes: i'm never good with writing humour but i thought of this stupid scenario and idk how i feel BYEE (cuz ur girl lowkey struggled on figuring out how to put #59 in the story lmao) tysm for submitting this in sky <3 and ty @bananabubble for reading it over for me!
join the 2k celebration!
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You are so stupid.
So fucking stupid.
How could you let yourself get carried away in loading all your laundry that you forgot to save a pair of pants to wear in the meantime?
You replay everything in your head: your overflowing, neglected laundry basket, the utter satisfaction you felt after loading it... right up until the moment you realised every single pair of pants you own was now basically swimming around in a goddamn whirlpool, and now you're left sporting nothing but your underwear and a shirt that didn't offer much coverage than expected.
You let out an annoyed groan, burying your face into your hands and mentally slapping yourself in the face. The chill of your room sends a trail of goosebumps running up the exposed skin of your legs. There really was nothing you could do but wait for your laundry to finish.
Then your head shoots back up, and maybe your bedroom lights up a bit brighter at your metaphorical lightbulb moment, because you think of Vernon. He's the only other option you have.
Tip-toeing up to your closed door, a bit of hesitancy gnaws at you for being so dumb, before you yell out, "Vernon!"
He's probably in the living room right now𑁋you can overhear the faint music of the record player the two of you snagged at this vintage thrift store the other week. A very good and lucky find, nonetheless.
Taking another (and maybe regrettable) deep breath, you call out again, a little louder this time. "Vernon! Can you hear me?"
The music seems to dip down slightly, and after a moment, the record stops spinning, replaced by the sound of footsteps approaching the door. You brace yourself for the door to swing open to reveal the embarrassing state you're in right now, but it doesn't.
Instead, you hear Vernon's voice respond to you through the door, "Yeah?"
"Uh..." You bite your lip because you can't believe you're about to ask this. "Do you have, um... a pair of pants or shorts I can borrow? I'll give it back to you tomorrow."
For a moment you think he didn't hear you because it's completely silent on the other side of the door, and it does absolutely nothing at calming down your racing heart. You see, you probably should be fine with walking around in your underwear with Vernon because he's your best friend and roommate and he definitely would not judge at all, but it's simply not that simple𑁋
"Did you, like, spill Monster on yourself again?" Vernon asks casually, as if it was the most normal thing in the world that you would do (it's happened one too many times).
"Yes, I mean, no, I mean𑁋look, just fetch me a pair and I'll bring it back to you later?"
"Uh, yeah, about that..." He pauses. "I'm wearing my only pair right now since you loaded yours first."
You really should've considered that being best friends with Vernon meant collectively sharing the brain cell of procrastinating when it comes to doing your laundry. Great, just absolutely fantastic. This was very much how you wanted your day to go. Perhaps this is why you're best friends, after all.
"Well, shit," You murmur, more to yourself but Vernon hears it anyway.
"Look, I'm sure it's not that bad, right?" Does he seriously still think you spilled Monster on yourself? "You could probably just𑁋"
You can hardly act by the time the doorknob twists and Vernon peeks his head around the door. But the second he catches sight of you, his eyes flicker over you, before he quickly averts his gaze to the Radiohead poster on your wall. Was it the lighting in your room that's making his face look pink?
You stand there awkwardly, suddenly feeling so exposed in front of him as if some sort of gigantic spotlight was shining down on you. It's not like you haven't been half-naked around each other before, but this feels different... somehow. You don't know why, or maybe you don't want to know.
A cough erupts from Vernon, breaking the sudden silence.
"Oh, wow, um..." He toys with the black hoodie around his head. "I didn't look. I swear."
His eyes dart everywhere except back to you, lingering on the Radiohead poster, the slightly askew picture frame on your desk, just anywhere but you. You don’t know whether to feel relieved or embarrassed.
"Ugh, I'm so stupid." You run a frustrated hand through your hair. "And I have this meeting for work in an hour and I know the laundry won't be done by then. I'm actually screwed."
Vernon thinks for a minute. "You can't like... virtually attend the meeting?
"No."
"Or it can't be postponed?"
"Nope."
"What if I file you as a missing person to the police?"
"You're seriously no help, dude," You say, giving him a light shove to the shoulder, but it's hard to suppress the curve to your lips and the small chuckle that leaves your mouth when you see him fall back dramatically.
Vernon snorts lightly. "Well, it's probably better than showing up to work in your Hello Kitty underwear𑁋"
"You said you didn't look, you idiot!" You exclaim furiously, and Vernon literally does not see the way a pillow practically spawns in your grasp and flinging toward him before he can even react. The pillow hits him square in the chest, causing him to stumble backward with a surprised yelp. "Oh my god, just report me missing at this point."
Vernon just laughs as he catches his breath to stand back up, grabbing the pillow up the floor and lifting it up like a shield as if to defend himself from you. Your face is burning brighter than the lava lamp glowing on your bedside table.
"This is so embarrassing," You mutter sheepishly, wanting to unleash another defeated groan again. "I can't believe I'm this stupid to forget to..."
"You're cute."
"...and then I'm probably going to get fired𑁋what?"
Vernon tosses the pillow back onto your bed and clears his throat.
"I said you're really dumb."
That is not what he said.
For a second, the disastrous situation seems to lighten up just a little bit, and your heart is doing some intense, unrhythmic tap dance against your ribs. You heard exactly what he said𑁋that he called you cute in this ungodly predicament𑁋and now he's trying to brush it off?
Vernon cracks a teasing, boyish smile. "And stupid, yeah. You're not wrong about that."
You open your mouth to retort, but the words get caught in your throat, almost like a choked sound coming out instead. So you point an interrogative finger and step closer to him (and yes, still in your underwear), eyebrows furrowing together.
"You called me cute," You state, all firm and serious now.
Vernon's playful look falters slightly, expression shifting to something a bit more guarded now. He rubs a hand at the back of his neck, that nervous habit you've always found sort of endearing throughout time. Perhaps there's a bit more meaning to it now.
The few moments of silence that follow is absolutely suffocating. You can't even tell if time is passing by quicker or slower as the two of you stand there, shifting this uncomfortable weight between both of your feet.
"Yeah," Vernon says simply, quietly. "I did."
You nearly want to laugh for some reason, but you can feel the nerves tickle up your spine. "I'm standing here in fucking Hello Kitty underwear and you think I'm cute?"
You can visibly see the way the lump in his throat tightens as he swallows, his eyes flickering uncertainly between you and the floor.
"Look you just... You caught me off-guard. Like... laundry day doesn't mean walking around in your underwear and all that," Vernon explains, in a tone like he's trying to reason with you. "but for you, I'll make an exception because𑁋"
"𑁋because I'm cute?"
"Because you're so stupidly cute from freaking out when I could just go to the store right now and buy you a pair of pants to wear." Then he sucks in a breath. "And yeah, the Hello Kitty underwear is cute, I guess."
You feign a shocked, traitorous look to your face. "You guess?! It's Hello Kitty, man."
"Dude, do you want me to snatch you some pants to wear or not? Because I'm deadass about the missing persons report," Vernon asks, half-annoyed yet somewhat half-amused. The twitch to his lips doesn't go unnoticed. And the voice of him calling you cute just minutes earlier also doesn't go unheard of too.
You wear a cringy, exaggerated pout to your lips. "Please."
Vernon's face contorts in slight disgust at that. "Please don't do that eve𑁋I'm leaving." And before you can say anything, he's turning around and leaving your room.
You hear the clinking of keys, assuming that Vernon is getting ready to leave to presumably retrieve you a pair of pants to wear for the day. You step up to your doorway to peek into the living room.
"Hey, I owe you!" You holler out to him. "Let me know how much it costs and I'll pay you back."
"No need," Vernon calls back over his shoulder.
"Come on, I'll feel bad," You insist, leaning against the doorframe. "I'll do anything, I swear."
Now that seems to intrigue him, and you watch the way Vernon slowly turns back to you, and maybe you're starting to regret ever saying that to him.
"Okay," he says lightly. "We're watching a movie tonight."
"A movie? What are we..." Then your eyes widen in realisation. "We are not watching Shrek again. I'll end up falling asleep on you because we've rewatched too much."
Vernon just shrugs. "Yeah, like last time. You hugged me like your personal pillow, remember?"
"I..." You stop yourself from responding immediately, feeling a flush creeping up your cheeks at the memory. "Fine, whatever. If I fall asleep again, you can just wake me up this time."
A low, thoughtful hum runs out of Vernon's mouth. "I mean, I really don't mind if you fall asleep, you know. If you're tired and stuff."
You blink up at him dazedly. "Really?"
"Yeah," he answers, and the corners of his lips lift up ever so slightly. "You're cute when you fall asleep on me, anyway."
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another note: guys idk what i just wrote lol its like 90% dialogue n rushed HAHSADSA
taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair @wonwooz1 @woohaeyo @mark-geolli @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @aaniag @wootify @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @phenomenalgirl9 @roziesmei @mirxzii @bookyeom @parkjennykim @melodicrabbit @bewoyewo @honglynights @bananabubble @treehouse-mouse @tanya596carat @starshuas @totomoshi
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dirtytransmasc · 1 year ago
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really fair statement, I'm autistic as well and get this point wholeheartedly, I just felt I couldn't properly put it into words and was worried about this post specifically falling into hot water with certain people and didn't want to risk misspeaking (even if I was directly taking from my own experiences) and dealing with all of that.
I do think Helaena has a lot of the struggles and mental health issues that autistic people have due to their autism, like specific anxieties, phobia's, restrictions, which effects their overall lives. there's also the effects of isolation, even when surrounded by people trying to support her that contributes to social issues and depression. all things I think are very likely in Helaena, even if there's barely enough screen time to catch a hint of it.
I could probably go on forever about this if I could just find the right words, cause even with myself and my friends, this specific type of mental illness tends to be touchy and I myself struggle to talk about it outside of playful jokes with my friends, so I wouldn't know where to even start going into it full analysis mode.
Do you think that alicent rhaenyra and haelena suffer from mental health?
Alicent is most certainly mentally ill from the moment she is married off to viserys, while I think Helaena is neurodivergent, not necessarily mentally ill until after Blood and Cheese. Rhaenyra is more complicated, I think there were times she was faced with mental illness, I think there also times she was not and that these times were greater. (this is all within the show, I'm not sure about the books)
Alicent was being raped and forced to bear children from a very young age, that is so much pain and suffering, so much trauma to go through. from a young age she is shown to have a lot of signs of ptsd, anxiety, ppd (postpartum depression) especially after Helaena is born, it seems, and depression. there are few moments she seems truly happy and at ease, constantly worn by stress. I don't think she ever recovered from those early years, and she remains mentally ill until the end, where it festers in the aftermath of the end of the war, and she dies of insanity.
Helaena definitely came off as autistic to me, even in her little screen time. I won't discredit the possible trauma of her father's neglect or being married off to Aegon (though there is no proof he is abusive or forceful upon her, she was married off to someone some could say she did not love and did not love her), she seems mostly unaffected by this. I think her mental illness will come into play after B&C and the loss of her children.
Rhaenyra is the most complicated to me. we don't really see the aftermath of her births, so I can't say if she experienced any ppd/ppp, she might have, she might not have. she lived a relatively easy life outside of her mother's death, which did seem to cause some depression while she was young, but she seemed to move on from that in time. she does seem to have some depression and anxiety during her time at the keep, the stress weighing on her, but it never seemed to be as constant or heavy as Alicents (not to downplay, just to give a comparison). after the loss of her daughter is would be beyond cruel to deny that she would sink into a depression. she miscarried horribly essentially alone to a deformed stillborn little girl. miscarrying on it own is horrific and traumatizing, but the circumstances make it even more horrific. so while there are instances she shows signs of mental health issues, I don't believe she was wholly afflicted until after she lost Visenya.
this just my opinion on the matter, and I will give Rhaenyra credit by saying she was definitely very good at keeping up her wits and appearances, so finding moments of "weakness" or mental illness are definitely harder to spot, especially when the show tends to shy away from showing her low points and panders to her moments of strength.
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wolverigrl · 30 days ago
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Hugh x reader.
Reader is a mom of two young kids, something like Pre-K and 4/5th grade. She gets her hopes too high thinking her ex husband will at least show up for the kids 1st day of school but they all get disappointed; Hugh as the gentleman/sweetest dad he is steps up and takes care of it making a surprise for them
Broken Promises
Hugh Jackman x f!reader
A/N: I hope I won't trigger someone's serious daddy issues like I did to me lmao. But seriously, I had fun writing this one, too!
Warnings: angst, some swearing here and there, mentions of unavailable parent
---------------------------------------------------
The house was unusually quiet for a Saturday afternoon. Too quiet. I found myself pacing the living room again, eyeing the clock, then the door, and back to the clock. I had done this routine enough times to know how it usually ended. Ethan and Mason were perched on the couch, peeking out the window every now and then, waiting for the unmistakable sound of their father’s car pulling into the driveway.
"Mom, when's Dad coming?" Ethan asked for what felt like the hundredth time. His voice had that hopeful, uncertain edge that always tore at my heart.
Ethan was nine now, old enough to sense when something wasn’t quite right but still young enough to wish it wasn’t true.
I ran a hand through my hair and forced a smile.
"Soon, sweetheart. He said he’d be here."
Ethan nodded, though he didn’t look entirely convinced. He was too smart for his own good. Mason, on the other hand, was sprawled across the floor with his toys, blissfully unaware of time and promises. At four, he was still full of that magical childhood innocence where you believe everything will always work out.
The boys weren’t the only ones waiting. Hugh, Ava, and Oscar were here too. Ava, Hugh’s 12-year-old daughter, was curled up on the couch, nose buried in a book while Oscar, his 17-year-old son, was tapping away on his phone, though he glanced at me from time to time with a knowing look. Hugh was in the kitchen, pretending to busy himself, but I knew him well enough to catch his subtle glances toward the front door. He was watching too.
Waiting.
The doorbell rang, cutting through the tense silence like a knife. Mason jumped up immediately, his little face lighting up with excitement as he dashed to the door. "Daddy!" he shouted, his tiny hands struggling to twist the doorknob before Ethan quickly helped him.
And there he was. Matthew.
My ex-husband.
Standing there with that familiar polished grin, the same one that had fooled me for years before I realized it was more charm than substance.
He looked every bit the smooth-talking lawyer he was, hair neatly combed, wearing an expensive suit that screamed 'I don’t have time for this', but here I am anyway.
"Hey, buddy!" Matthew exclaimed as Mason leapt into his arms, his voice dripping with enthusiasm. He shot a quick glance at me, his smile faltering for a second before he smoothly recovered. "Sorry I’m late. Busy day at work."
"Of course you are." I muttered under my breath. But the boys didn’t care.
They only saw their dad, and that was enough for them. Ethan approached more cautiously, his eyes studying Matthew, almost as if he were waiting to see if this time would be different. I knew that look all too well.
"Hey, Ethan!" Matthew said, ruffling his son’s hair. "Got something for you both." He reached into the sleek black bag slung over his shoulder and pulled out two shiny, brand-new backpacks.
Mason squealed with delight, clutching his in his arms like it was made of gold, while Ethan’s expression shifted from excitement to hesitation.
"Cool, thanks, Dad." He said, a polite smile on his face. I could see the wheels turning in his head, though. A backpack didn’t make up for missed promises, no matter how shiny it was.
"Are you gonna come tomorrow?" Ethan asked quietly, looking up at his father with those wide, hopeful eyes that always broke my heart. "For the first day of school?"
"Of course, buddy!" Matthew said without hesitation. He leaned down, crouching to their level and placing a hand on Ethan’s shoulder. "I wouldn’t miss it for the world! I’ll be there, bright and early."
I crossed my arms, leaning against the wall, watching this scene play out like it always did. Matthew was nothing if not consistent in his ability to make promises he couldn’t keep.
Before I could say anything, Hugh walked out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dish towel. His presence was calming, always steady and reassuring. He gave me a small, knowing smile before turning his attention to Matthew.
"Matthew." Hugh said, his voice polite but firm as he extended his hand.
"Hugh." Matthew replied, shaking it with the same rehearsed friendliness he used with clients.
They had met a handful of times, and while Matthew had never said anything outright, I could tell he wasn’t thrilled about another man stepping into the lives of his children.
The boys were still fawning over their backpacks when Ava and Oscar joined us in the living room. Ava smiled warmly at Mason, ruffling his hair.
"Nice backpack boys!"
Oscar stood beside Hugh, his tall frame giving him an almost protective air.
"You guys excited for school tomorrow?" he asked, nudging Ethan playfully. Ethan grinned full of excitement.
Matthew didn’t stay long. He never did. After about twenty minutes of small talk and handing out gifts, he was already looking at his watch. "Alright, I’ve gotta go." he said, standing up and straightening his suit. "But I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay? Bright and early as I said!"
The boys hugged him, clinging to him like they always did, desperate for any time they could get with him. And just like that, he was gone.
I watched the door close behind him, and a familiar tightness settled in my chest. The boys turned back to their new backpacks, their excitement renewed, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that tomorrow would end in disappointment. Again.
Hugh caught my eye from across the room, sensing my unease. He walked over, his hand resting on the small of my back, and leaned in to whisper. "You okay?"
I sighed, rubbing my temples. "I don’t know. I want to believe him, but… I can’t keep letting the boys get hurt. Ethan’s starting to get it, Hugh. He knows when Matthew’s lying now."
Hugh’s expression softened, and he pulled me closer. "Hey, I’ll be there. We’ll be there. They won’t be alone. I promise."
I leaned into him, closing my eyes, letting his warmth seep into me. "I don’t know what I’d do without you."
"You’ll never have to find out, love." he whispered into my hair, kissing the top of my head.
The next morning, I woke up to the smell of pancakes. The house was already buzzing with energy, far earlier than I expected. I shuffled downstairs, still groggy, only to stop in my tracks at the sight that greeted me.
The living room was transformed. Balloons and streamers hung from the ceiling, and a colorful banner that read 'First Day of School!' stretched across the doorway. The kitchen table was covered in every breakfast food imaginable - pancakes, bacon, eggs, fruit, even little bowls of candy that Mason would definitely notice first.
I blinked, rubbing my eyes. "Hugh, did you…?"
He turned from the stove, grinning at me like a kid who had just pulled off the best surprise. "Figured we’d make it special."
Tears welled up in my eyes, unbidden, and I pressed a hand to my mouth. "I-I can’t believe you did all this!"
Hugh crossed the room in a few strides, pulling me into his arms.
"It’s their first day of school. Gotta make it a big deal, right?"
The kids came rushing down the stairs next, their faces lighting up at the sight. Ethan and Mason squealed in delight, darting between the living room and the kitchen like it was the best thing they had ever seen.
"This is awesome!" Ethan shouted, his eyes wide with excitement.
Ava grinned as she joined us at the table, patting the seat next to her for Mason, while Oscar laughed at his little brother’s excitement. "Told you Dad goes all out!" Oscar teased.
Hugh winked at me, flipping another pancake onto the stack.
"It's a big day. Gotta start it right!"
And it was. For a few precious moments, everything felt perfect. The kids were happy, the atmosphere light and joyous, and the worries from yesterday seemed far away.
But when we got to the school, reality came crashing back. We stood outside the classroom door, surrounded by other excited parents and their children, and the boys kept glancing toward the entrance. Waiting.
"Is Daddy coming?" Mason asked again, his voice laced with hope.
"He said he would." I murmured, though I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince anymore.
The minutes ticked by, and the crowd around us thinned as more and more families said their goodbyes and headed inside. But Matthew never showed. And I could see the hope fading from Ethan’s eyes.
Hugh stepped forward, crouching down to their level. "Hey, guys.." he said, his voice soft but upbeat. "Your dad’s probably stuck at work, but that doesn’t mean today isn’t special. You’ve got all of us here, and we’re so proud of you. Right, Ava?"
Ava nodded, smiling warmly at Ethan. "You’re gonna rock it, Ethan! I just know it."
Oscar clapped Mason on the back, grinning. "And Mason, you better show them how it’s done, okay?"
Mason giggled, his spirits lifting, but Ethan was still quiet. Hugh reached out, gently tilting Ethan’s chin up. "You’re gonna be amazing today. And no matter what, we’re always here for you. Okay?"
Ethan swallowed, his eyes glistening a little, but then he nodded, managing a small smile. "Okay."
I pulled him into a hug, my heart aching for him. "I love you so so much, Ethan. You’re going to do great!"
Mason was next, clinging to my leg before I knelt down to hug him properly.
"Be good, okay? Listen to your teacher, and have fun. I love you so much!" He nodded eagerly, bouncing on his toes, the weight of disappointment not yet touching him the way it did Ethan.
We said our goodbyes to Ava and Oscar, sending them off to their own classes, before Hugh and I turned to leave. As we walked out of the school, my chest felt tight.
The weight of everything - the missed promises, the endless hope that Matthew would change, the constant pain in Ethan’s eyes - was pressing down on me harder than usual.
I could feel Hugh’s arm around my shoulders, warm and reassuring, but it wasn’t enough to chase away the hurt. We stepped out into the parking lot when I heard someone call my name.
"Y/n! Wait!"
I froze, my blood running cold as I turned to see Matthew jogging up the sidewalk, his suit jacket slightly askew, as if he had hurried over at the last minute.
My stomach twisted in knots.
Now?
After all this time, after the boys had gone inside? My hands balled into fists at my sides.
"I’m sorry!" Matthew said, breathless, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. "I got caught up at the office, but I’m here now. I didn’t want to miss it."
Something in me snapped. All the hurt, all the frustration, all the times he had let our boys down over the years, rushed to the surface. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, my vision blurring as they spilled over before I could stop them.
"You’re sorry?" I spat, the words escaping me in a choked sob. I stormed toward him, fists clenched, my body trembling with rage. "You missed it, Matthew! You missed everything! They went into class without you!"
He looked startled, stepping back as I shoved his chest. "Y/n, come on, I said I’m sorry- "
"Sorry doesn’t fix it!" I screamed, slamming my fists into his chest again, harder this time.
"Do you have any idea how much Ethan was looking for you? How many times he asked about you?! Mason kept asking when you’d get here, and you didn’t show up! You weren’t here, Matthew! Again!"
I kept hitting his chest, my tears flowing freely now. My voice was loud, too loud, but I didn’t care. The dam had broken, and everything I had bottled up for years came pouring out.
"You promised me! You promised them you’d be here, and you weren’t! You never are!"
Matthew tried to catch my wrists, his face pale, eyes wide. “Y/n, stop- "
But I couldn’t stop.
The pain of watching my boys be disappointed time and time again was too much.
"You don’t get it! You don’t get to swoop in at the last second and act like everything’s fine!" I sobbed, my fists still pounding against his chest until I felt Hugh’s hands gently but firmly wrap around me, pulling me back.
"Y/n.." Hugh’s voice was steady, his grip gentle but unyielding as he pulled me away from Matthew. "That’s enough."
I collapsed into Hugh’s chest, my body trembling as I sobbed, the fight draining out of me as quickly as it had come. Hugh held me close, one hand cradling the back of my head, while I clung to him, my tears soaking into his shirt. He rocked me gently, whispering soothing words I couldn’t quite make out, but the warmth of his embrace calmed me, slowly but surely.
Matthew, still standing a few feet away, looked completely stunned, his mouth opening and closing as if he didn’t know what to say. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to regain his composure.
"Look.. I’m sorry.." he said again, his voice weaker this time. "I really did try to make it.:
"That’s the problem, Matthew.." I whispered, my voice hoarse from crying. "You always try. But trying isn’t enough anymore."
Matthew’s face twisted with frustration. "I’m doing my best! It’s not like I’m trying to miss these things, you know. I have a job- "
"A job?!" I cut him off, my voice rising again despite myself. "I have a fucking job too! You think that’s an excuse? Ethan sees it, Matthew! He knows when you’re lying. And Mason? He’ll start seeing it soon too. They don’t care about your job. They care about you being here!"
Matthew clenched his jaw, his own frustration building.
"I don’t have the luxury of just playing house like you do, y/n! I have more responsibilities!"
"Playing house?" I laughed bitterly, shaking my head. "You have no idea what it's like to raise them. No idea what it feels like to watch their hearts break every time you don’t show up!"
"You don’t think I care?" Matthew shot back, his voice growing louder. "I’m doing the best I can with the time I have!"
"And it’s never enough.." I whispered, the fight leaving me again. I wiped at my eyes, exhausted.
"Hey." Hugh’s voice cut through the tension like a knife. His tone was sharp, but not raised. "That’s enough. You should be ashamed of yourself, Matthew."
As soon as Hugh said it, I saw Matthew’s posture change.
His eyes narrowed, his fists clenching at his sides. For a split second, I could see the switch flip in him, the smooth, collected persona cracking. Matthew wasn’t used to being challenged, especially not by someone like Hugh. Not by someone who had quietly stepped into the role Matthew had always fumbled.
"Excuse me?" Matthew’s voice was low, his eyes locked on Hugh. "Who the hell do you think you are?"
Hugh didn’t flinch.
He met Matthew’s glare head-on, his expression calm but firm.
"I think I’m the man who’s been here for your kids when you couldn’t be bothered to show up. And I’m telling you - what you’re doing is hurting them and y/n."
Matthew took a step forward, his face flushed with anger now. "You think you can just walk in and play daddy, huh? That you know what it’s like to juggle everything I do? You don’t get to stand there and judge me, Jackman."
I could feel the tension crackling between them, thick and heavy. Hugh was calm, still, like a rock against the storm that was Matthew’s rising temper.
My heart was pounding, the last remnants of my tears still clinging to my lashes as I watched, half-dazed from the emotional rollercoaster of the last few minutes.
Matthew sneered, stepping even closer. "You think you're so perfect, don’t you? Mr. Hollywood star, swooping in to save the day. You’re not their father. You’re nothing to them. Just a simple placeholder."
Hugh’s jaw tightened, and I saw the muscle twitch there. But he didn’t react the way Matthew clearly wanted him to. Instead, he exhaled slowly and said, "You’re right. I’m not their father. But I’m the one they can count on. I’m the one who’s here when they need someone. That’s what matters."
Matthew’s face twisted in frustration, his fists clenching tighter. He pointed at Hugh, his voice rising.
"You have no idea what it’s like to have your own life, your own responsibilities, and try to make time for everyone. It’s easy for you to stand there and act like the hero when you’ve got nothing else pulling you in a million directions!"
I stepped forward before Hugh could respond, my voice shaking with anger. "You think Hugh doesn’t have responsibilities? You think he doesn’t make sacrifices? He does all of this for our kids while you barely lift a finger! And you know what? He never complains! Never makes excuses. He just shows up. That’s what they need, Matthew - someone who shows up."
Matthew’s gaze flicked between me and Hugh, his expression growing darker by the second. He laughed sarcastically.
"You’re really going to take his side over mine, y/n? After everything?"
I scoffed, wiping the lingering tears from my eyes.
"I'm taking my sons’ side, Matthew. Because they deserve better than what you’re giving them. This isn’t about sides. It’s about what’s right for them."
Matthew again let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "Unbelievable. You really think I don’t care, don’t you? That I don’t want to be there for them?"
"Well, If you wanted to be here, you would be." Hugh cut in, his voice sharp now, no longer willing to play nice.
"You wouldn’t be showing up late, making excuses, and disappointing them over and over. You’d be here, Matthew. It’s that simple."
"That simple?" Matthew’s voice was nearly a growl now.
"You have no idea what I go through - what I have to balance! It’s not as easy as you think, playing ‘Super Dad.’!" He stepped forward again, and for a second, I thought it might come to blows.
But Hugh, steady and calm, took a deliberate step forward too, closing the distance.
"As we said before.. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being there. No one’s asking for you to be a superhero. They just want their dad to show up. You owe it to them to do better."
The tension between them felt like it was about to explode, and I could barely breathe, watching it unfold. I knew Matthew’s temper. I had seen it flare too many times. And I knew Hugh was protective, fiercely so, but not one to back down when it came to the people he loved.
Matthew’s nostrils flared, his fists still clenched at his sides.
"You think you’re so much better than me, don’t you? You think you can just walk into my life and replace me?"
Hugh’s gaze was steady, unwavering, but he couldn't help himself and let out a soft laugh.
"I don’t want to replace you, Matthew. But I won’t stand by and watch those boys get hurt because you can’t figure out your priorities."
I felt my body trembling again, but this time from the frustration and helplessness of it all. I had spent so long trying to protect my boys from this, trying to shield them from the disappointment of their father’s broken promises. And now, here it was, boiling over in front of me.
"Enough!" I yelled, my voice breaking as I stepped between them.
"This isn’t about either of you! It’s about Ethan and Mason. And I’m so tired of seeing them get hurt because you can’t keep your word."
Matthew blinked at me, his anger momentarily giving way to something else - something that looked like shame. But just as quickly, his walls went back up, and he shook his head, stepping back.
"This is ridiculous." he muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I didn’t come here to be ganged up on."
I crossed my arms, feeling the weight of exhaustion press down on me.
"Then what did you come for, Matthew? Because if it wasn’t to be there for your sons before they go attend their very first day of school, I don’t see the point."
For a long moment, Matthew just stared at us, his jaw tight, his expression a mixture of anger and something else I couldn’t quite place. Then, without another word, he turned on his heel and stormed off down the sidewalk, leaving us standing there in the empty schoolyard.
I let out a shaky breath, my legs suddenly feeling like jelly as the weight of the moment caught up with me. Before I knew it, Hugh’s arms were around me again, pulling me close, holding me up as I leaned into him.
"You okay, love?" he whispered, his voice gentle, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back.
I nodded, though I didn’t trust my voice just yet. The anger, the hurt, the frustration - it was all still swirling inside me, but Hugh’s presence, his steady calmness, helped anchor me.
"I'm sorry.." I whispered, wiping at my tear-streaked face. "I didn’t mean to… to lose it like that."
"Don’t apologize." Hugh said softly, kissing the top of my head. "You had every right to say what you did. He needed to hear it."
I took a deep breath, finally pulling back to look up at him.
"I just… I hate that this is what it’s come to. That the boys keep getting hurt like this."
"They have you." Hugh said, his voice firm but full of warmth. "And they have me. We’ll get through this."
I nodded, though my heart still ached. "Thank you." I whispered. "For everything. For being here."
Hugh smiled softly, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I’m always here, y/n. You and the boys - you’re my family too."
I felt a fresh wave of emotion wash over me, but this time, it was mixed with gratitude and love.
As we walked back to the car, hand in hand, I knew that no matter what happened with Matthew, no matter how many times he failed to show up, we would be okay. Because Hugh was right.
We had each other.
And that was enough.
---------------------------------------------------
Tags: @angelofthorr @haytchee
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kivino · 1 year ago
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BIG GUY || SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY X GN!READER
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my masterlist
ao3 link to this fic
Word counter – ~1,8k
Tags/Warnings – Fluff, a bit of miscommunication and jealousy, nothing much.
Summary – Ghost takes a liking to the nickname you give him, but struggles to understand just how much he likes it.
A/n – I’m still struggling with my school projects so wish me luck, I made this instead of making a video for my language class lmao, enjoy! i’ll add the ao3 link a bit later.
upd. link added for ao3 enjoyers!
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It didn't miss anybody, the way Ghost seemed more easygoing and light-hearted on certain days, letting recruits get away with a bit more than usual. Coincidentally, it was right after various interactions with you, be it training or sparring together, doing reports, moving some shit around the base, or just hanging out in the common room. Nobody could just figure out what it was about your interactions that lifted Simon’s spirits so high, which was notoriously hard, courtesy of how gloomy or menacing the man usually appeared. But the answer was quite simple, really.
“Thanks, big guy. Always a huge help.” Simon catches your small smile as you pat him on the shoulder and nods, barely containing his joy, he’d hate to make it too obvious. He was wearing a balaclava after all, and the smallest stretch of the fabric on his cheeks and around his mouth could easily give away how joy spread itself in his chest at the affectionate nickname.
Big guy. Big guy. Your big guy.
Nickname reserved only for him, exclusively from you. Of course, Ghost knew he’d be larger than your average soldier, and that regularly got acknowledged by others, but something about you calling him like this made it different. That pleasant warmth inside, which reminded him of the sun, or that stupid fluttering in his stomach, was…unusual to say the least. It made his mood better almost instantly, an interaction he eagerly, but silently looked forward to each day. Something about you calling him a big guy made his head spin, swimming in the endless clouds. Something Ghost hasn't felt in a long time and didn’t think he’d ever experience.
It was easy to let down his guard around you, you stripped him of the metaphorical armor just like this, with an effortless joke and that godforsaken pet name thrown in somewhere in the conversation. And just like that - Ghost’s low laugh rumbled in unison with yours, heart missing a beat when he looked into your eyes that sparkled with something unknown and captivating. It felt…good. New. And so fucking warm, Ghost felt like he was about to suffocate.
You were the newbie, your reputation preceded you but Ghost didn’t pay much attention to all the rumors swirling around on the base, like some suspicious soup in a boiling pot. He had better things to do. Like following you similarly to a lost puppy, maybe staring intently right at you with his huge brown eyes, if he was feeling brave. Or lingering somewhere around, just to make sure you’re adjusting alright. After all, all of you soldiers have to look out for each other, right? Right. Definitely.
It felt good to finally be able to just laugh and play around with someone, who didn’t seem scared shitless by his presence, mask and, well…everything about him, that seemingly drove people away. Not that he didn’t understand the reasoning for that – quite on the contrary. But you were probably just built differently, drawn to the weird, unappealing, and scary. Maybe Ghost should feel lucky that you were like that. And truth be told, he did. He liked it and he liked you.
Ghost could only hope that he lightened up the things for you the way you did for him. To ask and dig deeper would probably be too much, Simon could still feel that caution and tremble at the mere thought of trying to grow closer to you and spend even more time together. Like he’ll put a curse on you the moment he decides to open up a bit more and show you at least some inner workings of his mind on a more intimate level than just some stupid puns, or gossip and discussions about the way you spent your day. Although they were certainly pleasant, with you giving him a subtle, understanding smile from across the table, while steam from your coffee mug made it seem so domestic and wholesome like Ghost was in a dream. So, Ghost kept what little distance he could, despite his wishes, and hoped that you take your time and be patient with him.
That is until he overheard something that startled him, to say the least.  
“Well, your jokes are a bit too much for me, big guy.” You say, letting out a clear, loud laugh, as you patted Soap’s chest. Scotsman straightened up almost immediately in front of you, a proud toothy smile beaming on his face. Now Ghost felt like he just got punched in the gut, for some reason. Annoyed and on edge in a split second. But why? He truly couldn’t seem to pin down the reason for the surge of anger and something bitter in his chest, bubbling right under his skin.
It was probably nothing worth his attention. Just something weird with his body, exhaustion from the training, muscle cramps...or whatever it could be. In any case, running headfirst into dissecting his mind for something so small and minuscule? Ridiculous, really. Completely unnecessary. Of course, Simon knew that both you and Johnny weren’t saints, two rascals more like, but he had no obvious reason to feel this bitter stinging inside of him, that slithered and slipped around, followed by tightening of his throat and bobbing of his Adam’s apple. He swallowed loudly, trying to wash down that gross aftertaste on his tongue hours after he saw that interaction. And the fact that he couldn’t get it out of his head was telling enough, that he was, in fact, bothered by something.
So, Simon decided to do what he did best. Bottle it up. But then it just kept sitting in his head, that nasty feeling still eating him from the inside out. It didn’t help that he started seeing you talking with Johnny more often, while Simon unintentionally avoided you, still buried deep in his thoughts and contemplations about what caused him to feel the way he did. Of course, he couldn’t help but eavesdrop. And there you were. Laughing with him. Calling him “big guy”. Again. This only caused Simon to become more cranky and unfriendly, taking his frustrations out on poor privates who’ve never ran so many laps in their entire lives.
The only people Ghost was outright cruel and merciless to were his enemies. He wasn’t the friendliest guy, of course, but everyone noticed when the lieutenant who usually would crack jokes and dumb puns at the expense of others at most suddenly started to get annoyed at smaller mistakes more, using harsher words and overall look like he was down in the dumps. Nobody dared to talk about the subject though, so Ghost was left terrorizing the privates and recruits, having lunches in his office and avoiding areas where he knew you’d be at certain times of the day from your long talks before. Which, of course, didn’t help him to understand what was wrong at all.
So, all Ghost was left with were his own thoughts. He didn’t feel jealous of you interacting with other people before. You were never his, so he had no right for that at all. But there had to be something else that pushed Simon to where he was now, tired, unsatisfied, and craving at least a passing smile and a short “Hey there” from you. So that the two of you could sit down somewhere together, and you’d talk about some irrelevant nonsense, and then you’d open your mouth again and call him “big guy”. It didn’t feel fair that Johnny got to be called that. It was Simon’s nickname. From you. Wait-wait-wait, hold on a second.
The sudden revelation as to why exactly Ghost was feeling that way when he saw you talk with the sergeant hit him like a damn bus. Fuck, that is childish. Weird. God, Simon feels like a damn creep. Getting upset because of a damn nickname, way to fucking go, you oaf. This felt confusing. Irrational. Absolutely fucking stupid. To think that something that simple threw him off so easily. That’s human relationships for you. Now it felt like he needed even more time. Not to make it complicated. Not to hurt you and himself.
Regardless of his wishes, he didn’t have any more time to think when he was soon approached by you, a concerned frown adorning your face, along with a look full of sympathy and understanding. Ghost already dreaded the conversation that hadn’t even begun. And he wasn’t even the one reaching out first. Which makes it even more embarrassing.
“Hey, Simon. I have something I want to talk about with you.” You, bless your heart, probably thought something terrible happened in Simon's life when in reality he was just running away from you and his feelings like a whole wildfire was chasing him. The only correlation he could think of is dumb teenagers, which is…remotely fitting with his recent behavior. “I’ve noticed you’ve been kind of…avoiding me? Did something happen, or am I just overthinking everything?”
“It’s stupid, really. Nothing you should be worrying yourself about.” Ghost blurts out before he can even think. Great, now he can only tell you the whole truth, without the options to back out or lie. But it was truly so unusual for him because Simon never expected to get attached to a nickname and to you.
“Well, let’s hear you out. I won’t judge.” Again, with your perfect reassuring smile and your calming presence. Simon lets out a deep sigh, his throat itching from what is about to ensue. He knew he was going to embarrass himself, but he just couldn’t bring himself to lie. Which would’ve been so much easier, instead of baring his true feelings in front of you.
“Well, your nickname for me…You know what I’m talking about.” Simon’s tone is deep and gruff as he tries to conceal that uncertainty in his voice. You appear to be listening attentively, your eyes trained on him, head slightly tilted to the side, which makes his heart melt. You give him a confident nod at the mention of the nickname, and Ghost continues. “I want you to call only me like that. And I mean, only me” He can see your eyebrow rising, your expression more teasing than questioning. There we go, now you’re going to mock him or laugh at him. Just perfect.
“Sure thing, big guy.” A shudder runs down Simon’s spine from your words, a sweet, saccharine feeling immediately blossoming in his chest. Oh, he had no words to describe how hard he missed it. All his worries lifted immediately. You didn’t find it weird. In fact, from what Ghost could tell by your satisfied expression, it was quite the opposite of the reaction Simon initially expected. Which was extremely relieving. He would hate to lose your intriguing relationship to the miscommunication of his own making. “Could’ve just said that you wanted it reserved just for you.”
Oh, it wasn’t just the nickname that did it to him. But it’s a bit too early to tell you that.
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crescenthistory · 5 days ago
Note
May I request C6 with Regulus? I’m in some desperate need of Reggie comforting reader 😭😭😭
there are sosososo many different ways to interpret this prompt, and somehow i chose? perhaps the darkest one? so sorry, you are really going to need that comforting now... thanks for requesting lmao xx
Prompt: C.6 "I don't know, it just happened"
Words: 5.5k
Warnings: not proofread, fem!reader, blood racism, internalised blood racism, hate crime/minor assault, emotional breakdown, mutual self-hatred, regulus has not left the black family, alluded black brothers drama, undecided side regulus, perhaps a bit cliche/romanticising, established relationship, your dad is dead (long ago, mentioned), heavy hurt/comfort, happy ending
Notes: lol i am not okay
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It was a rare occurrence that Regulus Black felt light these days, in any meaning of the word. 
His feet felt shackled as he trekked through the Hogwarts halls he felt were increasingly unwelcoming to him. His consciousness weighed him down like a thousand bricks as he knew he had to either take a stance against his parents or become complacent in a hope of survival. He knew he had to do the former; he had no idea how to stop himself from the latter. Trapped, cornered, cowardly – heavy.
Yet, when walking the final few metres to your dormitory that he knew housed your soft self now that you were done with tutoring first years, he felt undeservingly light. A sensation only you could inspire in him these days.
While conversations were growing tenser and tenser between you the more Regulus struggled with freeing himself from his family, your love for him had yet to falter. He knew he was only biding his time, but until then he could not help revelling in it, albeit guilt ridden. 
He does not knock before entering, just carefully pushes the ajar door further open. You had told him off for knocking so primly every time – “you’re always welcome here, Reggie” – and he wanted nothing more than to please you.
“Amour?” he called out as he closed the door softly behind him, looking around the dorm for a trace of you, or at least one of your dorm mates.
None to be found.
He dropped his bookbag by the end of your bed, reaching up to scratch the back of his head as he looked around. Some of that heaviness began returning to his limbs at your absence, his hope of slipping away from the world with you for the next few hours dissolving.
Then, he heard the water running from the adjunct bathroom. A sigh of relief escaped him, though his body remained tense, and he made his way over. He could hear the water splashing from the sink and he carefully knocked on the door with one knuckle.
“Amour?” he tried again.
This time he technically got a response of sorts, though nowhere near the one he had been hoping for. All movement behind the door stilled. The water was still running in a steady stream, but whatever you had been doing with it, you had stopped. Regulus could almost picture you standing like a deer in headlights – his brows furrowed unhappily at the thought.
“Are you alright, love?” 
Finally, your voice answered, but the fragility of it rattled him. “Oh, um, hi Reggie, I– I’m alright, be with you in a minute, yeah?”
You seemed distressed. Regulus did not care for it at all.
“Could I come in, amour?” He spoke to the door as if it was not there, as if he was looking you in the eyes, willing you to let him in.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you murmured, but he just barely caught it through the wood.
Regulus seemed to have met a divulge where he had to make a choice – a relatively minor one, but it felt important nonetheless.
A large, painful part of his mind was screaming at him to leave you alone. She doesn’t want you, she’s finally seen you for what you are. Scum staining the story of her life. It is this voice that rules most of his actions, the voice keeping him and Sirius apart, the voice tying him to something he does not feel comfortable with. 
Then there is another, burning hot part that aches to reach for you. The part that knows you better than the first thinks he deserves, the part that can tell by the tone of your voice, by a jerk of your finger, exactly how you are feeling and, hopefully, what you need. This part is one Regulus takes a great deal of pride in, this part feels good. Though it scares him and the first part tries to quell it, he holds it near his heart.
And it is this part that opens his mouth and says, “Could I come in anyway?”
A minute. A hesitation. A sigh.
“Yes,” you whispered.
His hand is tentative as it grips the doorhandle to the bathroom, as if it has become a part of your body from him talking to it, deserving of that same care he attempts to show you. He twists it and pushes it open.
The bathroom is swept in darkness – a conscious choice on your part, seeing as you would have to magically blow out the candles that lined the walls. He could still see you, leaning against the counter with the sink, face turned slightly away from him.
“Hi, my love,” you greeted, trying to seem casual as if he had just walked into your dorm under usual circumstances. With your hand awkwardly angled so that he only saw the inside of your palm, you adjusted the faucet. “How was practise?”
Regulus ignored your small-talk, walking up to stand beside you, body angled fully towards you as you began scrubbing at your hands once more. With the light trickling in through the open door, he swore the water looked pinkish. His breath hitched, eyes flickering all over you and the room to make sense of whatever was happening.
“Amour, what’s wrong?” His voice was rawer than he was comfortable with.
“Oh, it’s nothing, really.” You were getting a hang of the bright and airy tone of voice you were going for, but it was too late for that. “Just a long day, you know? Do you want to go get the bed ready so we can relax?”
The voices were warring in Regulus’ head at the rejection of his presence, but once more the part he could only describe as lovesick took a step closer to you, so your bodies were just barely touching. “Y/N,” was all he said.
Your ministrations grew more desperate, scrubbing water up and down your hands and forearms, breath laboured. He lifted a hand to brush against your face – when you flinched, his heart broke. 
She’s scared of you.
No, she’s just scared.
He let his hand ever so slowly land on the cheek furthest away from him, cradling your jaw with the kind of light touch reserved for baby birds and broken children. He found the skin there soft and wet, and he swore he could cut himself on the shards of his broken heart.
He guided your head to turn towards him, his grip loose so that you could stop him if you wanted. Once your face was opposite his, Regulus fought every instinct in his body that told him to study you, search your face for the spawn of your pain. Instead, he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against yours. Giving you space, privacy even, giving you the moment you clearly needed – but sparing you from doing it alone
Your hands slowed down in their scrubbing, and with his free hand reaching out blindly, he turned off the faucet. Your breath stuttered where it spilled over his lips.
“Do you reckon you want to sit down? Talk about it?” Regulus whispered, eyes still closed.
He felt you nod against his skin, grabbing a hand towel as you walked backwards the few steps needed before you could sit down on the toilet lid. Regulus followed you, eyes opening and attempting to adjust to this darker corner of the bathroom. He sat down on his knees between your legs, painful tiles be damned, and looked up at you intently. 
In front of him sat the light of his life, visibly sullied. Your face was red and he could make out the tear tracks and smudged mascara underneath your eyes. You clutched the towel, hands buried within it and out of sight.
“Amour,” he whispered dumbly, unsure of what else to say, as he carefully brought his hands up to wipe at your tears. 
You mumbled his name and it almost sounded like a sob. 
Your hands were writhing in your lap around the towel, and he reached down to take it and help you dry yourself when you jerked your hands closer to you, towel still in grasp. “No,” you whispered.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” you lied through your teeth. “I’ve just had a bad day and– and felt anxious. Couldn't help but cry over it. I don’t know, it just happened.” 
Regulus gave you a sad smile, squeezing the still-wet skin on your forearms. “Uh-huh. And you felt like taking it out on your hands?”
A sob finally tore through your body properly and you brought your hands up – still in the towel – to cover your face. You leaned forward and cried into it, and Regulus immediately opened his arms to hold your shaking frame. Your towel and face were smushed into the crook of his neck and he drew big circles on your back with one hand, the other securely holding the back of your head. 
He was broken, at a loss for words, trying to recall any and every memory he could find of witnessing others comforting, not trusting his own instincts. Through them all, out flashed a memory of Sirius humming to him when he had nightmares as a child, how the vibrations soothed through him until he could finally fall asleep again, in his big brother’s bed this time. Without any distinct melody or song in mind, Regulus began to hum as he swayed you just ever so slightly back and forth, hoping to bring you some semblance of safety.
Your gasps lessened until the bathroom was near-quiet again, but he did not stop his movements with you or the humming. Your heart blossomed from his efforts and broke at what you knew was to come.
You lowered your hands from your face, letting them fall into your lap with their towel. Your face was now in direct contact with the soft skin of his neck and you took the opportunity to press a soft kiss there.
“Can I please do something to help you?” he whispered into your hair.
“You are.”
He breathed in slowly. He is. “With your hands, I mean. Are you hurt?”
Tears slipped quietly down the expanse of Regulus’ neck, trailing down underneath his shirt. You tried to nuzzle deeper into him.
“I–” you stop, seemingly changing your mind. “I’m alright, I just need to… to remove magical ink from them and I can’t get it off.”
Regulus fought back the that’s all? that was creeping up his throat. He knows at least two spells that work for most permanent inks and can brew a potion for it within the hour if those don't work. 
Your head squeezed against his shoulder as he nodded his head, still stroking your back. “No problem, beautiful, I can fix that.”
“No,” you whispered once more, seeming to shrink in his grasp. “I have to.”
He helped ease you out from his neck so that you were face to face once more, his hands coming up to brush over the sides of your arms. The look in your eyes was one he struggled to decipher, apart from the shine of anxiety. 
“Why do you have to? Let me help you, amour.”
You took another shuddering breath, brazing yourself for impact. “You can’t see,” you whispered finally, fighting the quiver of your lips.
“I… I don’t understand.”
“You can’t see them, Reg, I’m sorry.”
“Did someone do something to you?” It was the only explanation he could conjure up for why any permanent ink would make you this distraught – and why you would hide from him like this.
You searched his face carefully, faintly nodding in a way that made him think it was a response to your own thoughts and not his question. Like you decided on something. 
“Someone wrote something. I just want it gone.”
Regulus’ stomach churned. He regretted the harsh tone of his voice as he demanded, “Who?”
“It’s not important.” 
“It is to me. Please. Who?”
You pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth, gnawing at it as you realised he would find out. Someone would tell him, even if you refused to show him. He would know. You tasted blood in your mouth.
With his eyes adjusted to the dark, Regulus saw the faint red on your lips as well and immediately reached out to gently pull your lip free from its torment. His fingertips lingered on your lips until he replaced them with his own with a short, tentative kiss. If you were to have blood in your mouth, he would too.
Lips still against yours he whispered again, more pleadingly this time, “Who?”
You let your walls crumble. This sweet, caring boy was in your grasp for now and you could not help but let him care while he still wanted to. “Mulciber,” you whispered back.
Regulus pulled back enough to meet your gaze, confusion filling his. “Why Mulciber? What would he have to write on you?” 
Up until now he had half-thought that some of your first year tutees had pranked you in some ungraceful manner. He was certain he had never seen you and Mulciber even talk before, let alone have an altercation that could involve magical ink. He was one of the more brutal Slytherins, but he had never had any reason to talk to you, and he knew that you were someone Regulus cared for. What he had hoped would let him in on your pain only confused him further away from any answer.
“Regulus, please,” you begged, ignorant to his confusion. Tears were once more filling your eyes and he wished for nothing but to stop them.
“Okay, okay,” he whispered, hoping to convince your tears to stay where they are. “You– you don’t have to explain it, love. I can just remove it for you.”
“Could you teach me instead?” Your lip was back between your teeth, lightening in colour underneath the force it was exerted to.
“I’m afraid you wouldn’t be able to remove something from your hands yourself, you need them for the spell.” Regulus hoped his gaze seemed sympathetic.
You squeezed your eyes shut, moving your head slightly to your side. Regulus recognised your breathing pattern to follow a technique you had taught him to calm down the first time he had a panic attack around you. Afterwards, you didn't mention it, only giving him space to talk about what he was comfortable with, comfort at the ready.
His own breath was bated as he watched you make your decision. A definite tear slid down the cheek closest to him, in a hauntingly cinematic manner. At last, your eyes slowly fluttered open and you looked back into his eyes with the most devastating expression. Slipping a hand slowly out from your towel – out of Regulus’ line of sight – you brought it up to his cheek to bring his face closer to yours.
The kiss was searing, filled with a love and devotion he was not prepared for in a situation like this. He was enveloped by the smell of you, and though you still tasted of copper, your lips were painfully soft and he let himself fall deeper into you. When you pulled away, you pressed a lingering kiss to the side of his mouth.
“I love you,” you whispered. Regulus hated how it sounded like you were saying goodbye. 
His brows were furrowed as he looked at you, and he hoped it looked like confusion and nothing more sinister. “I love you too, amour. You know.”
“I’ll let you remove it, if you want.”
“Please.”
Your gaze fell to your lap and remained there as you let both hands out of the towel, placing them palm-down on your thighs. Regulus had begun reaching for his wand in a holster on his belt, ready to rid you of the source of your discontent, but he was frozen still when his own eyes finally took in your hands and the two bold, dark words written on each one.
MUD on the left. BLOOD on the right.
Mudblood. 
Regulus’ blood had run cold in his veins and he found himself having to adopt your breathing technique. His vision blurred as the two words seemed to grow larger, which seemed impossible considering they were written to take up as much space as possible. The handwriting was shaky, as if there had been a struggle when they were written. There were some light bruises already forming around your wrists and upper arms that further proved his fear. Mudblood. With red streaks over both works, likely from how hard you had been trying to wash them, all but scraping them off. Mudblood. The word was choking him. His hand that had remained still midair by his belt began to tremble.
He was knocked out of his trance as he saw a single tear splatter across the lettering on your right hand. 
Regulus moved his gaze back up to yours to find it was still trained on your hands, eyes glossy and unseeing.
“I–” he tried, but his voice broke off. “I don't understand. Y/N, I don’t understand.”
You seemed to flinch a little at the sound of your name, but other than that you made no sign that you heard him.
“Amour,” he rectified. “Why would… what is this?”
You moved your right hand over your left, starting to scratch at the word scribbled there, nails digging deep. Regulus’ hands flew up to stop your ministrations at the sight of the worsening redness, but your whole body physically flinched away from him in a way he was sure must hurt.
Regulus was lost.
“I don’t understand. Why would Mulciber write that? You’re not a–” He cut himself off, scared of what word would slip off his tongue. “You’re not muggleborn.”
Finally, you looked up and met his eyes. Your fearful, heartbroken expression seemed to soften at the sight of him and you gave him the saddest smile that did not reach your eyes. “I’m sorry,” was all you could whisper.
Realisation dawned on him. 
“Your father…?” 
His half-blood best friend turned lover, who he already had not dared tell his parents about, living with her muggle mother after her wizard father passed away. It was a convenient story in times of tension and division. Death is an easy excuse, hard to verify.
Although, clearly, someone had now, and the truth had come out.
“I’m so sorry,” you whispered once more through a sob. Your shoulders were hunched and knees drawn close to your body. You looked like you wanted to disappear. 
It took him a greater amount of strength than he was proud of to push the shock and confusion from the forefront of his mind and pull back up the memories of how to comfort. To focus on those and not the million of questions running through his head.
What does this mean? Why didn't you tell him? Have you been hiding from everyone, or just him? How have you been carrying something so scary and he was none the wiser? Is there an award for shittest boyfriend at Hogwarts that he can be looking forward to?
Regulus reached out for you and pulled you slowly into another hug, arms circling securely around your back. Your body stilled in his grasp, apart from the small heaves for air in between your sobs.
“What are you doing?” Your whisper was muffled into his shirt. Your frail voice and tense limbs cut him deeper than any spell could.
“I'm comforting you, sweet girl,” he mumbled into your hair. “Or at least trying to.”
“Why?” you asked miserably. 
Regulus pulled back just far enough to see your face, making sure his arms were still holding you with love, drawing patterns across your back.
"Because I love you," he whispered intently. His eyes tried his hardest to lock on yours, but you still would not meet his gaze. "Because there is nothing to be sorry for."
Your expression grew incredulous, bordering on angry – if it was with him, yourself or the world he was uncertain. "I've lied to you. I've deceived you into a relationship you wouldn’t have agreed to had you known, I– I’ve put you in an impossible position–” You had to cut yourself off as another sob tore through your body. “I’m so sorry.”
Regulus shuffled impossibly closer to you and brought his hands up to cup your cheeks, thumbs stroking slowly across your cheekbones. He felt his own eyes fill with tears at the sight in front of him, anxiety rising at his chest as he struggled to find the words he knew the situation called for.
This was all unknown territory for Regulus. The two of you had had as few conversations about blood status as possible, both weary about the growing tension at school and in the wider wizarding society. You had held him the one time he dared cry in front of you over a particularly harsh letter from his mother. You had whispered sweet nothings about you're not them and I will always love you, but he thought they were just that – nothings. In turn, you had mentioned your parents and cried over your father a handful of times, but never divulged too much. He had weaved his way through comments from other pureblood students at school regarding his relationship with a half-blood, but most pureblood families have lapses with a half-blood here or there that he could usually throw back in their faces to silence them. No one dared push it further than that. When Andromeda left the family for Ted, he almost had to confront it all, confront what he now knew to be lies that had been spewed to him all his life, but even then, he managed to avoid it as he instead received the beating of his life for not alerting the family about the signs he must have seen at school. He let himself simmer with that pain instead of looking inwards, instead of seeking help. He figured he didn’t have to, not just yet.
That time had evidently passed, as he now held a sobbing and defiled sun in his hands.
No, this was uncharted territory for him entirely – but he could not afford to let it stay like that.
“My love, Y/N,” he said with a surprisingly steady voice, never letting his gaze stray from you. “Please, please listen to me. Please hear me. You are everything; it is you, you are everything. You could be muggleborn, muggle, werewolf, siren or fae. It would not change anything.”
Your eyes met his, red rimmed and glossy, confused and bewildered. This time it was your turn to whisper, “I don’t understand.”
“It is difficult–” Regulus’ voice broke as the first few tears slipped down his face. “It is all so difficult right now, I feel lost and… scared and I don’t know what to do.” The words almost clogged in his throat, like barbed wire to admit, but he knew he had to. “I should have told you all of that already, I should have shared with you so you could feel safe to share with me. I haven’t known what to do, how to do it. The one thing I do know is that I love you and I need you to be safe and I need you to be here with me. I have not been deceived, for I would always choose you.”
Your eyes were wide, but you were not crying at the moment, gaze flitting all across his face, as if to ensure he wasn’t lying, hanging onto his every word. It was the motivation he needed to continue.
“You are not allowed to be sorry, amour, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” A small sob escaped him and his heart flipped when your right hand came forth to just barely touch his shoulder. “I should have been here for you, you shouldn’t have to hide. You should never have had to question my love for you, my loyalty. It will always lay with you, I swear it. Gods–” a heaved breath “– I’m terrible at this, you know I’m terrible, but I’ve been trying so hard for you and I will continue to. Just please let me. Let me and I will try.”
“Regulus…” you whispered, hand creeping from the brush against his shoulder to settle on the side of his neck. 
He looked at you, ready to take any reaction you would give him, to tell him off for his horrible apology, for making things about him, for not being enough. Your mouth opened and closed as if you couldn’t settle on the words. Instead you let out a small breath and pulled him back into you in a tight embrace.
It took him not even a second to hold you in return with passion, hands appraising as they swept up into your hair and around your waist. 
“Do you mean it?” you whimpered into him and he let his forehead fall to your shoulder as he cried.
“Of course, I mean it. Of course, of course.” He kept muttering it into you as he held you tighter and tighter.
His body was filled with an entirely new set of fear. A warm one that spread through his blood at the thought of what you had to face. Mulciber already knew and had taken action on that knowledge seemingly without hesitation. Regulus had heard what was being said amongst the Sacred 28, he knew to what degrees the hatred was building. His entire body was built on fear as he held what he now realised could be disturbingly fragile.
That is, until you whimpered another question into his hold and his body ached with a love so deep he had never thought it possible.
“Do you still love me?”
He had already said so, but he would happily say it again, over and over, damning himself for allowing you to wonder. “Yes, amour, always. Always.” 
Regulus took your face in one of his hands again, cradling you as he brought his forehead back to yours. Angling his face forward, he pressed what he hoped was a sweet kiss to your lips. It was wet, metallic and everything he needed. 
“I’m sorry for lying,” you whispered. He shook his head against yours.
“No, I’m sorry for stalling.”
A beat of silence. “Stalling what?” He thought you knew, but he tried to have no qualms about being explicit about it.
“Leaving.” He said it simply, hoping it would will it to be.
This time it was your turn to shake your head. “Can you leave, though? Safely? They’re becoming more and more fanatical, Reg, what if they hurt you? I’ve seen the letters.”
The fact that you have experienced what can only be classified as a hate crime, yet you have the goodness in your heart to worry about him in this way only makes him more certain of his choice.
“I have to, my love. I have to. It’s time.” He took a deep breath. “I will… I will ask Sirius for help.” 
You looked into his eyes, vision blurry from your proximity. “I’m scared for you, but I’m so proud of you at the same time.”
“The feeling is entirely mutual.” Regulus tried to huff out a small laugh, but it just came out teary. “Will you please come with me?”
“To Sirius?”
“Yes.”
“Of course.”
His hand on your squeeze pressed further into you, reverent. “We can ask for help for us both. They practically wanted Ted dead when they disowned Andromeda, and she was not even the sole heir. I’m so sorry for putting you in that situation, I–”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you assured, voice more stable and beautifully soft. “You are everything to me too, you know.”
“I’m scared,” Regulus whimpered. It’s the first time he can remember saying that out loud to someone since he was 6.
“I’m scared, too. But less so, now that I know I still have you. I couldn’t handle losing you, Reg.” Your eyes teared up again and he leaned up to kiss the corners of your eyes sweetly, collecting the tears before they had a chance to spill.
“You have me, you have me,” he whispered almost feverishly against your skin. “And I’ve got you.”
You sighed, the closest to contently you think you can get at this moment. “Will you please help me?” you whispered as you looked down at your hands.
Regulus shook himself out of his mini spiral, shook off that first voice in his head that reared its head once more and over and over, shook off anything that was not you. He mumbled an of course against your cheek before he kissed it, taking your hands in one of his. 
Unsheathing his wand he never managed to retrieve the first time around, he took one last look at the ugly markings on your hands – the hate was precisely that, ugly, and it had no place on your skin. Starting with the left – MUD – he tried the first spell he knew, and it did nothing. The bile rose in his throat as he went to try the next, fearing the worst, but by the grace of a nonexistent god, the letters finally melted away. He repeated the process on the other one.
You tried to pull your hands out of his grasp at that, but his hold tightened. He healed the viscous red streaks and peeling skin from where you had scratched at them, a cold sensation soothing over your skin as he moved his wand. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes at the gentleness, but you found yourself beginning to become completely dehydrated.
Regulus brought your hands up to his lips while he put his wand away to grasp at them with both hands. He kissed the spots he had just cleared up. Long, lingering kisses in the middle of your hand, followed by soft butterfly kisses all over it. His fingers intertwined with yours, squeezing tightly, giving the flesh new sensations to remember instead.
“You’re so good to me,” you whispered, almost like a revelation. You had loved him and you had trusted him, you had just not trusted that it would be forever, that it would be more than any loyalty to his family. You were ashamed at the thought now, as you looked at the boy on his knees in front of you, crying from loving you, kissing away your pain. It filled you with something you had not believed this day would hold for you – hope.
“I’m not,” he whispered, letting your hands settle together in your lap. “But I hope to be. I want to be. I will be.”
You smiled wetly at him and leaned forward to kiss him once more. Originally intended as a peck, the kiss grew deeper, a slow passion as you held his lips between yours, feeling the love seep through the thin skin. He continued pressing kisses all over your face, much like your hands. Any teary or red skin had his lips faintly brushing over it, taking his time to dote on you. You let your breath calm down in the meantime, panic and tension slipping away from you to be replaced by a deep exhaustion as you leaned into him.
He noticed – he had to notice, swore he always would from now on.
“Are you ready to lay down in bed, amour. Face the light?” He smiled sheepishly at the poor attempt at a joke. You seemed surprised as you looked around, almost like you had forgotten you were in a shadowy dorm bathroom.
“Only if you will lay with me.” Your tone was nearing teasing, though not quite there. He was determined to achieve it within the hour.
“I promise,” he whispered, kissing you one last time before helping you up.
And he would go on to help you to bed and hold you tight for as long as you would let him. He would listen to you cry and laugh and worry without a second thought. He would take you with him to ask Sirius for help on escaping and keeping you safe and he would devote himself to being better. He would do anything for you – because you were, after all, everything.
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koyagifs · 1 month ago
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Hidden Messages
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pairing: san x reader genre: fluff au: idol | friends to lover summary: san had tried confessing through subtle messages but he finally had enough. a/n: i just realized tumblr deleted a few lines and i don't remember them :(. I promise i know english LMAO
──・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.────
You laid on San couch, wearing his t-shirt as well as some shorts as Byeol laid on your chest. San had invited you over, saying he'll meet you there after he had finish up a few verses with Hongjoong. As you laid comfortably, San was standing by a flower shop, wondering which one to get for you.
The amount of times San had tried to confess, he had lost count.
As you relaxed on the couch, Byeol curled up on your chest, her soft purring creating a soothing rhythm. The afternoon light filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow around the room. You smiled, feeling content in this little moment of peace.
San’s playful banter echoed in your mind—how he always teased about bringing you flowers. It was sweet how much thought he put into it, even if he struggled to actually confess his feelings. You could imagine him standing there, deliberating over the vibrant blooms, his brow furrowed in concentration.
What would he pick? Maybe daisies, bright and cheerful, or perhaps roses, classic yet romantic. You chuckled softly, imagining him overthinking the choice as he always did. He’d probably think about what you might like, what would make you smile.
Your thoughts drifted, imagining what it would be like if he finally found the courage to tell you. The way he’d smile shyly, those deep brown eyes sparkling with hope. The anticipation of that moment felt thrilling and terrifying all at once.
Just then, you heard the door click open. San stepped in, a goofy grin on his face, a bouquet of sunflowers in hand. “I figured you could use a little sunshine,” he said, his voice bright and teasing.
You couldn’t help but smile back, your heart racing a bit. “You know me so well,” you replied, glancing down at Byeol, who was now wide awake and curious.
As he approached, you could see the way his cheeks flushed slightly, a hint of nervousness creeping into his demeanor. “I… uh, I’ve been meaning to tell you something,” he started, his voice wavering just a bit.
Your heart skipped a beat. Here it was—the moment you both had danced around for so long. You met his gaze, feeling the weight of the unspoken words lingering in the air, and waited for him to continue.
San took a deep breath, his fingers nervously twisting the stem of the sunflowers. “I’ve been thinking a lot about us,” he said, his voice dropping to a softer tone. “About how much I value our friendship and… how much I wish it could be more.”
The words hung in the air, a mix of hope and vulnerability. Your heart raced as you searched his expression, wanting to convey your own feelings without breaking the moment.
He stepped a little closer, his eyes locked on yours. “I just… I really like you. Like, a lot. And I’ve been too scared to say anything because I didn’t want to ruin what we have.” His cheeks were flushed, the honesty of his confession making him even more endearing.
You felt a wave of warmth rush through you, and a smile broke across your face. “San,” you started, your voice steady despite the excitement bubbling inside. You sat up, moving an upset Byeol as you left the couch. San looked at you nervously, but was soon at ease when you took the flowers from him.
“i knew the whole time," you said, smiling up at him.
San’s jaw dropped in surprise, his cheeks flushing an even deeper shade of red. “Wait, really? You knew?”
You nodded, a playful grin spreading across your face. “Yeah! All those little hints? I might be slow sometimes, but I wasn’t completely oblivious.”
He let out a soft laugh, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I thought I was being so subtle!”
“You were cute about it, but not as subtle as you think,” you teased. “Like the time you kept bringing up that café with the cute flower arrangements. I saw right through you.”
San huffed, " does this mean you like me?"
As you wrapped your arms around San’s neck and pressed your lips to his, the world around you faded away. His surprise melted into warmth, and you felt him lean into the kiss, his hands gently finding your waist.
The moment was electric—sweet and tender, yet filled with the weight of all the unspoken feelings that had been building between you. When you finally pulled away, breathless, you looked into his eyes, which sparkled with a mixture of shock and joy.
“Wow,” he breathed, a grin spreading across his face. “So that’s what you meant by ‘liking’ me.”
You chuckled softly, feeling giddy. “Yeah, I think that qualifies.”
San let out a breathe he didn't realized that he held in, making you giggle. He placed another kiss on your lips, his heart racing as he finally got the girl of his dream.
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