#i think i overthink/over explain these a lot tbh but i just want them to look good :')

[fantasticalleigh]

some of my current WIPs! tagging @thlayli-ra since you were interested in seeing them :)

the sketch of drew lying on the ground bleeding was actually part of the CM Punk Bad Blood sketchpage on top but the sketch came out so good i realized i wanted it to be its own piece so i took it out and put it on its own canvas. All the Bad Blood drawings were probably started like two months ago or so, except for the Punk page which i started the day after Bad Blood. The most recent drawing here is the Drew image in blue, which I started maybe two or three days ago.

(top right looks half done like that bc the top half comes from another (completed) DM sketchpage i just finished. I really liked how it looked and wanted to draw a larger version of it on its own page so i transferred it over and might redo it all and line the bottom next)

last image is something i'm on the verge of deleting entirely bc it's old and i hate it and i don't see myself committing to fixing or completing. just not vibing with it anymore. ah well.

[haikyuubby]

𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 - 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬!

❀ - featuring: death the kid, soul, blackstar, maka, tsubaki, liz, patty, and crona.

death the kid

• good luck

• in a relationship, he’d want you to look as symmetrical as possible to him. (i’m outta luck 😍)

• he’s the typa guy to lint roll ur clothes if he sees a piece of dog or cat hair on them.

• dtk is definitely anxious and an overthinker in a relationship

• his love language is gift giving

• he’s not really into too much pda, but if someone starts eyeing you when you’re with him, he’ll start holding your hand or put his arm around your waist.

• he def needs a s/o who has a lot of patience.

• overall he’d be a pretty good boyfriend

soul

• basic teenage boy

• what more can i say

• likes pda

• his love language is physical touch

• he def always have a arm around your shoulder or waist most the time

• he likes when you take care of him

• yk making sure he’s okay, tending to his wounds and such

• he’d be a pretty chill bf, he is the jealous type tho

blackstar

• slightly annoying boyfriend

• maybe more than slightly

• but if you’re already dating him you should know about his…beaming personality by now

• he’s always doing things to impress you

• like crazy stunts and trying to fight randos

• he def gets super worried abt you if you get hurt or sick

• very protective over you

• love language is words of affirmation

• he’s also another jealous type

• and immature

• but super loving

maka

• a good s/o

• puts all her trust in you to do the right things, have her back, etc

• not really the jealous type but if she does happen to get jealous, she’ll be quiet about it

• she’ll cook, clean, basically do anything for you

• she loves when you compliment her, anything about her tbh

• not really too into pda, but a little hand holding and hugging is okay.

• her love language is a mix of gift giving and words of affirmation

tsubaki

• very good gf

• she doesn’t rlly get jealous because she trusts you and she knows that she has nothing to worry about

• her love language is physical touch

• she loves when you hold her hand or when you give her small kisses on the cheek

• she loves it when you rake your hands through her hair

• she also loves when you feel her up (🤭)

• overall she’s pretty chill, but she does get nervous about some things

• and any time she does, she goes to you right away.

liz

• very mature

• she is just simple in a relationship

• like don’t lie, don’t cheat, and it’s all good

• she knows when she’s in the wrong, and she’ll call you out for the same thing too.

• only gets jealous when it’s justified

• like if someone started flirting with you right in front of her

• her love language is quality time

patty

• good gf

• she’s just a ray of sunshine tbh

• only time y’all have relationship problems is when she feels like you aren’t giving her enough attention

• her love language is physical touch

• she’s always on you in some way

• her favorite way to be on you is by piggyback riding

• she doesn’t rlly get jealous tbh

• she don’t think of things that deeply 😭

crona

• oh my

• VERY anxious s/o

• they don’t rlly know what to do

• for like anything

• so crona’s always like “Am I doing this wrong?” when it comes to ANYTHING in the relationship

• def needs a s/o that can give lots of reassurance and has patience.

• crona would get jealous often, and it would be obvious

• love language is def quality time

• you just have to be patient with crona, if something happens and they don’t understand what they did wrong, you’d just need to be able to explain everything in GREAT detail so crona understands.

[tsxkkis]

# tsukishima kei - no words exchanged

a/n = i had two bigger tests today and i studied for both of them a lot BUT i think i did well?? let's hope so cuz i'll die if i end up failing them fr... ALSO idk abt this one cuz i didn't have much time to write lately (which resulted in me being dissatisfied with everything i write) but i hope you like it anyways ^^

summary = a school project finally bonds you with the tall blonde from your friend group.

warnings = none tbh, except for kinda ooc tsukki?

if someone had no bigger knowledge of tsukishima kei as a person, they would immediately assume he was greatly annoyed by your presence.

your rambling seemed to not have an end, the excitement in your voice and sparkly eyes clearly indicating just how into the conversation you really were. tsukishima glanced over to your side for a spare second, the sight of you happily explaining something to hinata and yamaguchi in a high-pitched voice gracing his eyes, taking in every bit of emotion in your face, every word you said.

ever since you became karasuno's manager along with yachi, tsukishima has been stuck with that weird feeling inside his gut, one that he so desperately tried to get rid of from the very moment he made notice of it. he couldn't afford himself to waste time on such stupid things as love; or maybe, more precisely, he didn't want to admit to himself he was actually feeling that way towards someone.

on the contrary, you actively thought that tsukishima kei hated you.

for you, the quick glances he stole your way were nothing but an indicator of being annoyed by the amount of words that left your mouth, and it didn't help you were the only person he never directed his snarky comments to. in fact, he didn't even speak to you, almost at all; aside from an occasional small talk with him and yamaguchi or greeting you at school.

out of your entire friend group, it was always the most awkward between you two, a surprising fact when you considered that even someone such as kageyama talked with tsukishima more in his life than you have. and if you were being completely honest, it made you a tad bit sad.

and if things couldn't get worse than they already were, a project for chemistry class with random partners hit you like a smack to the face.

"it's a good thing, though, don't you think so, yamaguchi?" yachi's voice echoed from beside you, the dark-haired boy giving her a nod and a little hum in response. "maybe the two of you will finally bond a little."

"yeah, if we even exchange a word." you murmured, feet carrying you to your locker as you took out the books you needed for your next class.

you couldn't deny that maybe yachi was right. maybe it was the chance you needed to finally break the ice of awkwardness between you two, to finally act like actual friends.

as you parted your ways with yachi, the blonde girl going to her class, your eyes caught a glimpse of a different blonde, much taller, walking out of the bathroom and towards you and yamaguchi.

"[name]."

you almost flinched at the sound of your name from his mouth, and yet something in the way he said it sounded so warm and familiar. your eyes met his as you fully turned your body around towards the boy, head turned slightly upward as you waited for him to continue speaking.

"we should probably meet after school sometime this week to do the project."

you fiddled with your fingers as you stood in tsukishima's doorway, an unsure look on your face as you tried your best not to overthink the situation too much. it couldn't go wrong, right? it's just a project for school. maybe you and him will actually get along.

as you caught a glimpse of tsukishima's frame on the other side of the door, a small smile appeared on your face, the boy waiting for you to take off your shoes before motioning for you to follow him, heading inside his room.

not a word exchanged.

his room was none other than what you expected it to be; everything was neat and organized, and it looked almost untouched. as you sat down on the edge of the bed, eyes still roaming through the unfamiliar place you were in, a small detail occurred to you.

"you have a collection of dinosaur figurines?"

tsukishima tried to hide his embarrassment, but it was evident the second you noticed how the tips of his ears turned red when hearing your question.

"so what?" he cleared his throat, voice as nonchalant as possible as he opened his laptop, sitting down at his desk.

"nothing." you mumbled, eyes following his movements. "i think it's sweet."

he only hummed in response, fingers swiftly moving across the keyboard as he typed in something into the internet, silence taking over the room; so thick you doubt you would've been able to cut it with a perfectly sharpened knife.

ten minutes passed, and tsukishima still didn't seem even remotely interested in starting a conversation with you, a fact that both annoyed and worried you. ignoring the "bonding experience" yachi mentioned it could be for you two, you also had a school project to do.

and that project wasn't even touched yet.

"you know, if you didn't want to work with me, you could've always switched partners."

tsukishima, although taken aback by your question, gave you only a slight shrug in response, seated with his back facing you.

"i wanted to work with you." his words confused you, eyes glued to the back of his purple t-shirt as you tried to process what he could possibly mean by that.

"you hate me, though." you mumbled, barely loud enough for the blonde haired boy to hear you. this time, he did turn around to face you; and as much as you tried, you couldn't exactly understand the emotions behind the expression he had. he looked like he didn't believe what he just heard and, to some extent, that was the truth.

his eyes were fixated on your face, a rare occurrence considering that most of the time the two of you wouldn't even share eye contact.

"i don't."

"you don't really do anything to prove that."

he sighed, hand instinctively going to brush through his hair.

"i'm not used to having friends." his words echoed through the room. "let alone friends like you."

you didn't quite understand what he meant, looking at him with a confused look painted on your face.

"you're loud, and annoying, and you talk so much it makes me wanna throw myself out the window." his words hit you like a knife through your heart. the remains of a faint smile immediately dissapearing from your face. but from what it looked like, he wasn't close to being done talking.

"and yet i can't seem to hate you at all. you make all those traits seem like the most loveable things on the planet."

he stopped for a couple of seconds, as if trying to decide what to say next. tsukishima wasn't used to talking a lot, and talking to you greatly stressed him, as much as he wanted to deny it.

"i don't hate you, [name]. don't make me repeat myself again." he finally added, trying to come back to his usual, cold demeanor. but you could still feel the bits of softness left in his voice, the faintest shade of pink gracing his cheeks.

you smiled, seeing as he turned back to his laptop, typing away again.

"i won't, don't worry." you said, standing up to look at whatever tsukishima was writing down, a grin on your face. "but i am telling kageyama about your dinosaur figurine collection."

he turned to you abruptly, a sight of annoyance mixed with an amused smile on his face, almost as if he enjoyed the playful comment from you.

"don't you even dare."

taglist: @ox1-lovesick @moonswolfie @wyrcan

[dangopango00]

ABYSS RAZOR CRUSH HCS BC IF I DONT GET SOME CONTENT I WILL DIE

Abyss Razor x gn reader

Prompt: yall r madly in love he has a crush on youuu (boyfail situationship hcs more like tbh)

A/N: sorry if this is rambly i cant live like this i keep rereading the same 4 or 5 posts over and over again ive been waiting for like a year and im getting teased with the tip PLEASEEE WRITE HIM 😭😭🤞 i cant ever escape the ‘nobodys fave but mine’ curse help

Ily losermen

Ily high ponytail men

Ily abyss razor

more utc

- Im gonna jump he is so kewt. Idek what to say im just ill

- You’d probably often compliment his eyes and you have this image that hes so calm and collected— which he is! But! Not with you! So every conversation with you is him just fighting for his life trying to look cool and not implode at the same time

- ^^^ THIS is one thing. But what really gets him falling for you is when you get a bit closer and have a talk with him, telling him in no uncertain terms that he’ll always have someone to return to if others are cruel because you won’t be leaving him

- Gives you things VERY often, usually little things because hed die if he had to directly give you a gift and then have to explain why, so he shows his affection in little ways like letting you have his best pencils and pens if you need it (lets you keep it too)

- oh he absolutely loses it if he sees you continue to use his pen hes so touched that you’re taking good care of what he gives you it shows that it means a lot to you and that he means a lot to you

- The only actual gift he gives you during this stage are things he has an excuse for like origami (idk why but i feel like he makes cool ass origami) he can just say he made too many so hes giving them away yet you and maybe Abel are the only ones who received some…

- He wants so badly to be useful to you he gets so flustered and happy just hearing you say thanks when he answers your question about the assignment or when he lends you his materials

- Immediately stiffens when you make any sort of contact. Dont stop though, he can count the times hes been hugged on one hand

- Speaking of his touch starvation, he’d let you play with his hair and looks forward to it tbh he’d just rather not initiate anything it’s too much for his heart

- If you have him take down his hair and play with it (like braid it or try different hairstyles) he’d feel so content; ofc he’s nervous but at the same time he just feels so at peace as if it’s only you two in the world and all the people who have ever wronged him never existed in the first place

- He’s a little bit delulu, i fear

- He gets so nervous texting and calling you bc what if you tell him ily. No that could never happen. Wait but what if it did— do you see his dilemma?

- He’s a chronic overthinker and in a way its a bit sweet because he used to worry about you randomly saying you didn’t want to be friends with him but now he wouldn’t even consider that possibility; it just no longer enters his mind

- He’d also find himself drifting off, losing himself in thought and end up daydreaming about if you two were in a relationship

- It’s very innocent, it’s just you two being cute and going places together while holding hands and such until it drifts even further to imagining you two kissing

- His face is on fire and he has to stop thinking NOW but hes in too deep hes imagining kissing ice cream off the side of your mouth and other cliches like that it’s so over

- Abel wondering wth is wrong with his right hand; all he said was that he was going to make mother happy by doing his homework today meanwhile Abyss can no longer be normal

- The kissing is just his guilty pleasure but Abyss constantly imagines holding hands with you like if you walk too close to him his hands will get clammy and his fingertips will get cold because he wants to hold your hand but is scared to initiate it

- God forbid you actually hold his hand even for a second while he’s having his entire internal monologue. He will die. You killed him. How could you?

- He won’t let go though like. Ever . Handholding is his favorite thing 5ever and as soon as he gets a taste he’s hooked

- He likes handholding so much that if you held his hand enough times then one time he’d accidentally grab your hand and initiate for once (immediately gets flustered after but it counts)

- Really really REALLY likes when u trace over his magic lines. Ruins his life everytime and he just melts in your touch; subconsciously leans in and his face softens and EVERYTHING

- Ok i wasn’t gonna say it bc itd probably involve sm sneaking but: Sleepovers. IM JUST SAYING 🤞🤞🤞 I feel like this is where most of the softer moments happen tbh like your roommate being out and you two have a sleepover

- I think this is where the playing with his hair and tracing the lines on his face would happen if not this then when you’re bored in class

- Not a fan of PDA even if ur not dating so he does play with your hair but usually during the sleepovers if you’ll allow him (not quite trying new hairstyles like you do but letting it fall through his fingers, running his hands through it or just rubbing the ends with his fingers to feel how soft it is)

- If you are bald he would slightly hold the back of your head and rub your temples with his thumb to help you relax

- Idk ik i just went on about how hes a loser but I feel like when it comes to affection relating to hair or like anything not affectionate in a cliche sense he doesn’t really pay attention and does it without thinking; only realizes its too affectionate if you point it out (please do not, he feels very comfortable right now. He will stop and never do it again if you point it out)

- You have a lot of deep talks and give him encouraging words during sleepovers tbh it just gives you both time to just… enjoy each other uninterrupted

- Sometimes instinctually distances himself from you because you make his heart do somersaults and his head feels like it’ll explode around you though he doesn’t last long, he needs you with him everyday atp 😭

- Although the above is true, sometimes he gets clingy ish (just by your side all the time) and protective over you even knowing you aren’t his

A/N: a ridonkulous amount of these r based on things ive done erm. Ok. Ig next thing i should write is him with an equally loser gf i def fit the bill LOL

[misscherrys-world]

Welcome back to:

Random things I think about.

Starring: from the k-movie “Exhuma”,

Bong-Gil

Warnings: Spoilers obvs, nsfw, me simping over his tattoos?

First let’s appreciate Lee Do Hyun’s acting skills, he amazed me by his performance switching between the character and the spirit.

So let’s start:

So tbh we thought Bong-gil and Lee Hwa-rim would be a couple and got a little disappointed.

But the chemistry guyssss it’s something about the chemistry.

When you watch the movie it’s not a chemistry between couples but more of a siblings relationship thing.

The way he protected Hwa-rim from the Japanese evil spirit and she didn’t runaway although anyone would’ve done it.

You can’t tell me it’s not a sibling kind of a relationship because if you have siblings you’ll understand my point.

I think no one told him what happened exactly when he was unconscious in the hospital and the evil spirit possessed him. Or maybe they told him he was just possessed, nothing more, no details.

He is either an only child no other siblings or he’s the youngest.

In my opinion the youngest is more open to the spirit world. Not in all cases though.

If he’s an only child it explains his behavior towards the others, very kind and caring because he sees them as his family.

He’s a foodie, you’ll always find him with something to munch on. If it’s not a snack it will be a piece of gum.

It came from his anxiety, his interactions with spirits are sometimes overwhelming and by time he became anxious.

He used to wear earings. You can’t tell me otherwise he will look so cute with earrings.

That man has no idea the girls in his gym are drooling over him every time he walks in, the tattoos and the man bun are so damn good.

Although most of these girls have no idea what does his tattoos mean but they think it’s hot anyways.

When he’s in a relationship he’s a puppy, loyal and would follow his s/o anywhere she goes.

His love language is food, he likes someone? would know their favorite drink and brings it to them out of the blue.

He’s into vanilla sex more than anything else.

His favorite positions are missionary and spooning.

He wants to see his partner’s face in this intimate moment, he loves to kiss and hug them.

He’s talkative too, loves to whisper sweet words.

He’s goofy and laughs a lot when he’s doing the thing yk.

His kisses are sweet and soft. He takes his time in his kisses, and don’t you dare break that kiss he’ll just think you’re mad at him and would overthink everything.

Although he loves his partner so much, he doesn’t talk about them a lot, maybe he mentioned them to Hwa-rim few times.

He’s the kind to blush when someone mentions his s/o.

Overall I think Bong-gil is a sweet, caring and a reliable person. And I’m glad he lived.

So tell me what do you think? Send me your headcanons too, I’ll gladly share them. Have a nice day!

🤍🎀

[faetaiity]

Hallo, hate to bother ya but is it okay if I request poly turtles (dark au or normal) x y/n who like physical affection but is kinda selective about affection (don’t know how to describe it, kinda like Donnie I guess).

You don’t have to, just wondering!

Two posts within a week?? wow I might actually get back to a decent schedule, hopefully. I went with Normal! bc I have so much shit for Dark AU, I just wanna appreciate my original boys, y'know? (also, I'm fucking around with how my posts look, so, sorry abt that besties :'}) I left the cause of Reader's Selective Affection/Selective Touch up to interpretation but it's mainly written for those who get overstimulated (ASD)

✩ Poly! Rise! Turtles x GN! Selectively Affectionate! Reader ✩

Post Format: Headcanons

CW/TW: angst for Leo's areas and possible hints of Mikey guilt tripping you unintentionally at the end

✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩

They actually take it pretty well once it's explained to them.

Donnie takes it the easiest, obviously, But Raph also takes it generally well, maybe not as well as Donnie but that's to be expected tbh, I can't decide who would take it the worst though, definitely Mikey or Leo, though.

Now that I think about it, Leo probably takes it worse but gets over it VERY quickly

Why?

Donnie. Donnie will actually beat his twin's ass over it, understanding how it feels to be touched when you don't want to be (even if your issues don't stem from overstimulation.)

But Mikey very rarely gets punished from it due to baby sibling privileges, it'll take him longer to respect that boundary, especially if you don't regularly enforce it with him.

Now that's not to say that he doesn't respect it, it's just, like Leo, he's a very touchy person affection-wise, his preferred choice of showing love is physical touch.

He'll end up stopping all-together until you tell him it's okay, until then? Surprise hugs from behind!

I'll get more into them now, that's just the things that came to mind immediately.

Raph respects it, he might mess up a little bit every once in a while, and he apologizes profusely once it happens

Because while he definitely respects your boundaries 1000%, his usual form of affection is physical touch, but he'll try to find other ways! It'll just take a bit :}

Donnie definitely respects it, scarily so, often avoiding even brushing against you if he can help it

As he has Overstimulation issues and hates being touched at times, he understands the feeling, often he struggles to understand if your selective touch doesn't stem from ASD/SPD (Autism Spectrum Disorder/Sensory Processing Disorder), but he treats it like it is so it's easier for him to relate to.

Leo is difficult about this, I consider Leo a boundary pusher when he doesn't understand or agree with something, for this, it's the former

He doesn't understand why you don't want him to touch you sometimes, if it goes on long enough, he might start to doubt you love him, as his insecurities kick in and overthink about it, he'll think you hate him and just can't find a way to break it to him that you don't love him as much as his brothers

His walls get wrecked and forcefully torn down during this, which is why he gets desperate for affection from you, leading to him getting his shit kicked in by Donnie, just treat him with patience and have a talk with him about it, okay? It'll make him feel a lot better

Mikey is also a Boundary pusher, but not intentionally! He's just.... super Physically affectionate..... he wants to cuddle his darling 24/7 and gets a little bummed during your No-Touch/Affection periods

He still tries to sneak in a hug or cuddle, leading to Donnie scolding him (Donnie is the only brother who calls him out on this behavior lmao), he slowly gets more and more respectful, especially if you call him out on it. He doesn't want to make you uncomfortable after all!

Unlike Leo, he doesn't get insecure about this, he knows you love him, you say it all the time! Why would you lie?

Once you get out of these moods or if this is a constant thing, warm up to the idea of being touched by them, they're ecstatic.

Raph loves cuddling and peppering you with kisses for hours and playing cutesy games like AC:NH on the switch, probably tickles you if you're okay with it.

Leo gets emotional and just clings to you, especially if his insecurities were really bad before you gave the go ahead, you're not allowed to pee or get up for ANYTHING for a couple hours lmao.

Donnie is a 50/50, mainly because if you are okay with touch again, he might be in an Overstimulated state, so sometimes you don't get to cuddle him, but when you do? He's clingy like Leo, understanding that he doesn't know when he'll get the chance to do this again.

Mikey lovebombs you, dragging you to the couch to hug and kiss, constantly complimenting you and whining about how hard it was to not hug you, because he loves you so much!!

All in all, just give them patience and communication and they'll try their best to make you comfortable

7/10, communication is key, boys, communication is key.

✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩✩

Sorry if it's bad by the end, I'm super tired lmao, but I had the motivation to write and idk when I'll get more :'}

[novemberdevils]

very lonely. maybe i need to do more with that... how do I stop you from teasing me? But like please spoil more I beg you, jack makes me wants to study him because from my pov-meaning me and therapist friend over analysing everything- it feels that he is lonely in the way that doesn’t simply disappear when you are around loved ones because you spent a lot of time being set aside whether it was by choice or not but it make him cautious to every time he feels safe or at “home” as he will be waiting for the I guess carpet to be swept from underneath him because nothing could last for him you know??, also this is me making you overthink even more but I have no idea if you mentioned it and I somehow I completely overlooked it but did jack come up with any of the other drivers or did he go a completely different route? I feel if he did go a different route it would make his outcastness even more because it would mean no one really understands what he has gone through they only know what jack decides to tell.

Honestly poor carlos for dealing with nicojack because no matter how much he tries to guess what the fuck is going on with them he will never get it right because come on how can he thinks that they are fucking, chocking, and taking pictures of each other after having sex??, somehow being gentle with yourself is always harder and being yourself biggest critic can be really damaging but it’s nearly impossible to be gentle when you feel that you don’t deserve or want that gentleness even when it’s what you actually need, ohh ok thanks for explaining the luke and nico it makes more sense than nico being in his room; but both of them thinking that oh jack must come to his room but then they both find each other but not jack hilarious if you ask me, maybe that will be a scene i write from nico's perspective and put on tumblr actually... PLEASE DO IT 🙏 YOU CANNOT SAY THIS AND NOT DO IT, jack and luke are not even in the same genre of books let alone being on the same page they need a therapist and just talk, don't worry the liar will be revealed in monaco. i've already written the scene I LOVE YOU.

Tbh I don’t want this fic to end so the scene running away and writing itself makes me happy but I don’t think it makes you as happy, I need to know who was lying and why NOW or I might day, Yeah. the creative writing to aviation major pipeline doesn't exist i created it hey high five for going the pipeline that don’t exists mine is from computer science to forensic anthropology, also you being in aviation is insane like that must be some cool degree that you get to have not my forensic anthropology and digging around in dirt, yayy for them unlocking a new space hopefully next it would be buying a house together-too much?-.

But instead of saying anything sane or normal, Jack opens his mouth and says, “I wanna cash in.”

Nico barely looks at him. “What?”

“I want a picture of you like this,” Jack says. It sounds completely ridiculous now that he’s said it all out loud, but— “You owe me. From Imola.”

For a moment, Nico just blinks at him. Then, “Where’s your phone?” HOW DARE YOU!!!! I need more please please please get the chapter out now like this was the perfect snippet because it doesn’t give us anything major except for the pic so we will want to read more and see what lead to this I hate you.

i cannot remember what game this was about but i hope they didn’t fumble!! I too cannot remember what game it was but I remember they didn’t fumble it; it was maybe against the blues?? I have no clue, yeah jack is, as always, on the struggle bus me and him both but he has a nico and I don’t so im judging him for thinking bad, I feel this what makes jack more complex the fact he determines his worth over what he achieved so if he feels he didn’t meet the impossible expectations he set for himself he will not feel worthy of the love he gets, honestly i have also forgotten if jack told anyone about what carlos said in shanghai look I reread a couple of scenes last few days and I believe this was the first time he says carlos was the one who said that to him, and the thing with the quinn nico parallel with the control is that both of them meant it in different situations-nico the sex and quinn with general life- but jack still doesn’t believe either of them even when one proved that he was the one in control he still doesn’t believe that, also please yap about the playlist I need your thoughts about every song.

STOP BEING VAGUELY MEAN!!! You break my heart every time you tease, jack being noo nico is so nice to me he is the best but as soon as nico is in front of me and he doesn’t cater to every whim jack has he becomes the meanest person ever; nico I would say poor you but you were the one who chose to deal with the brattiness that is jack, the draisaitl and nico fight is quite literally everything for me so thanks for including it, unforch i do kind of like mclaren I unfortunately will have to inform you we should stop yapping to each other this is a betrayal I cannot handle or forgive, it’s evil as hell! It hurts as hell but sure you can use evil, omg please commission it I will chip in or give you ideas!!,  (which involved a notebook and a pen, it was getting serious in the campus library) you and me both a coworker of mine was telling me the other day like wow filling out reports even on your break I was not filling out reports.

No like sometimes a fic is so good but then you reach a smut section and it would be just bad smut and then you can’t continue it but yours ranks top three in the best smut I have ever read so you absolutely knocked out of the park, also you writers scare me because what do you mean you have these masterpiece laying around when I can’t even comment without commenting major crimes against the English language??? A round of applause because you 100% deserve it, ha ha. Images. the snippet i posted the other day references the cashing in thing but it arguably brings more questions than answers. point is he cashes in in the next chapter so Soon you will discover yeah I hate you, im glad that asking when the next chapter comes out doesn’t annoy you but please do take care of yourself I might be annoying you about the chapter but please always priority yourself, I can’t believe that we are already have reached Spain like I know there is still so many rounds left but im already experiencing withdrawal symptoms, I will be not so patiently waiting for the chapter!! 2/2

i will never stop teasing re: i am evil. so yeah jack is a very lonely guy. shoutout to the shit from pre-spain i just posted where he’s insistent that nico can’t be his friend because then he’s be his only friend… womp. and i have totally not mentioned it because i am a dumb who didn’t outline this fic lmao but. ? it’s Very much established that he was in karting with nico but nico is older so he went through the cars series faster — jack did come up through the standard f1 ladder (he’s an f3 & f2 champion, and in my head those are consecutive) but i never really specified who on the grid he raced against in those series… mathematically he should’ve come up around the same time as drysdale and holtz so let’s call that canon 😁 neither of them were ever FDA drivers so jack likely gave few fucks about them. also implied that it’s only jamie’s second year in f1 and it is jack’s. fourth. wait have i ever explicitly given the timeline or is it all implicit my bad don’t ask me what team jamie drove for in his rookie season i have no fucking idea. this is what i get for not planning anything

feeder series tangent aside. actually no. jack was too busy still giving a fuck about nico even when he wasn’t directly competing against him because he is a Crazy person. jack doesn’t even know what his f2 teammate is up to lmao like he didn’t care about anything except winning and getting an f1 drive. and did i ever imply that nico skipped f2. i cannot remember how max-coded i made the guy 😭 he won an f3 championship as established in ch5. jack you are a crazy person

carlos is actually fed up to the max even if he doesn’t know Exactly what anything is to be fed up with. he probably assumes some racing conspiracy shit not. crazy sex. the friend thing from the new chapter definitely threw carlos for a loop but he is highkey being a cartoon villain about it 😭 and yeah i love imagining nico coming into jack’s room and luke is just sitting there like wtf are you doing in here. i should write that scene. i know i’ve said i might. and. maybe. probably. there is a likelihood. don’t let me forget about that because literally i always remember i said i was going to write a scene from nico’s pov but i can never remember which scene i said. and it’s that one. so

MY BEAUTIFUL PIPELINE. i keep getting crazy emails and i’m like wtf have i gotten myself into. $25 fine if i don’t wear my id badge when required… like don’t you know i am coming from a major where you sit in a conference room with the worst people in the world and criticize each other. the switch up is insane lowkey

if i ever post a snippet i will post an evil snippet just know that 😈😈😈 now that the chapter is out i hope you liked the scene lol it’s one i’ve had cooking up in my brain for like a month and a half. maybe minus the taking a picture part. but like. the whole Concept of it. sometimes smut scenes can be. emotionally symbolic. is that the term i want? like. yknow. the taking control thing. and then. the spain one. uhh do with that what you will

yayyy glad they didn’t fumble Mystery Game! and so true jack puts a lot a lot of weight on his accomplishments, not to keep yapping about ch5 but in my defense it was like the only thing i looked at yesterday — he fr believes that not at minimum getting on the podium after his shit pit stop is as good as losing. like dawg. calm down. and thank you for the confirmation on the shanghai thing lmao i was pretty sure i had only implied that someone had said something mean to him. at this point, will jack ever refer to carlos as carlos again 😭 he’s been sainz for like ever. and on the control parallel — my beloved — nico does also mean in general life but him choosing to establish that thought during a sex thing was definitely. a choice. but he is very adamant in telling jack that he wants to know what he thinks, he wants jack to say and do what he wants without stopping to be concerned about how it will be received, but jack obviously sucks at that. either way he does not believe he is in control ever at any point in time. and i have admittedly started the unnecessary song analysis google doc so the thoughts are coming!

i will never stop being mean… nico has his reasons. lots of them. Ha. ha ha. and vouch on all the stuff about bad smut ruining a good fic 😭 like i hate to be that guy… but i have sooo many fic opinions oopsies. i’m glad you enjoy the scenes i write though thank you! and i have been writing for years and years and years so i did my time writing god awful smut, i have officially graduated to being. not terrible 😁

[trentskis]

hi claudia! as a spurs fan i agree with you that a lot of the language used to talk about bukayo today (and obviously in general, it's just today it's been apparent from spurs fans bc nld) has been nasty and i'm disappointed in some fellow spurs fans tbh. i understand banter and i understand getting heated during a derby but it's like why is he so often the main target? people will say it's cause he's the most important arsenal player rn, cause he's used madders' celebration etc and yeah ok the main players usually get the most heat, yeah ok i also find the celebration copying annoying, but none of that can explain away certain comments that are definitely charged. they might not be explicitly antiblack (or at least those i have seen weren't) but you're right when you say saying certain things about a black player is different than saying them about a white player AND also that there wasn't nearly the same amount of vitriol against white arsenal players. made me very uncomfortable. regarding your post about sonny i understand being hurt by that, bc i'll admit i was a bit too, simply bc i love him so much and i don't like that kind of comment (in general but especially) about players i love. but that said yeah i don't think it's the same. you said you say that about players often and while yes heungmin gets A LOT of racist hate and i'll always be the first to call that out, how does one kys comment on the kys website mean you're holding double standards or smth and only caring about racism when it's against arsenal players.. idk it doesn't look like that to me. i don't follow many arsenal fans so i can't say if there was sonny hate that i didn't see, but i can say i've seen multiple comments about bukayo's behavior on the pitch which made it seem like he's a disgusting player and that to me doesn't reflect reality and while again i understand hating players during a derby and he's the goalscorer and all, it just DOES seem targeted, even if it might not be meant not be that way. when multiple ppl in a fanbase gang up on a black player that's never a good look. and bukayo has BEEN the target of antiblackness, the people saying shit know that and therefore should at least be aware of the weight of their words. anyway, sorry for the rant, i've been following you for a while and this isn't even to defend you specifically, it's just i've noticed that shit too and it doesn't make me proud to be a spurs fan, and i think you're generally an honest person and level headed and i'm glad you talked about this bc football rivalries are fun and games but it's just a sport, no need to get nasty over it. just wanted to give my 2 cents as a spurs fan, you can also not post this if you don't want to, that's fine of course! much love 💖 - nico

thank u for taking the time to say all this nico i really appreciate it!!! 💓 and i'm really sorry that i upset u with that post, i will be more mindful about throwing that comment around in the future and thank u for making me aware and considering it 💓

i'm glad you feel this way! sometimes when i see posts like that and everyone seems fine with it/is laughing along i think that i'm overthinking/overreacting or something so it's nice to hear that you think some of the comments were too much today too. i follow lots of arsenal blogs and didn't personally see any son hate (actually there weren't really any comments about any player apart from a couple about romero) but i'm definitely aware it exists and have seen it before on twitter, many people direct racism towards him like its second nature and its horrible. i hope there is more understanding overall of the racism players experience and how someone can contribute to that kind of language whether they intend to or not. thank u again for sending love u lots 💖💖

[noahschnappinfs]

how many asks do you have rn?

i have a little bit over 100 asks in my inbox atm and most of them will be stuck there forever if i’m being honest lol it’s nothing personal, it’s just that i think everybody that follows me have noticed by now that i like to give long answers so most of the time, some asks get repetitive so i feel like i already answered everything about certain topic so i don’t know what else to say. there’s also some that i genuinely don’t know how to answer and there’s also some things that i can’t answer if you get what i mean lol i just wanted to clear this up a bit in case somebody feels like i’m ignoring them. it’s a combination of me being a bit of an overthinker and taking all that mentioned before in consideration bc also i don’t want to spam you all a lot with asks. my blog is still relatively new so i’m still trying to find the right balance.

right now i have like 5 asks in my drafts that i’ll post soon but i don’t know how to yet. my inbox was getting a bit messy and that’s why i missed a few so now i’m starting this strategy of saving the ones i want to reply in my drafts. tbh even some of those asks won’t see the light because sometimes i wait too long due to wanting to give the asks more thought to give a proper answer but then i feel like we already moved on from a certain topic so i end up not posting them anymore.

look i already wrote two paragraphs explaining how my process of answering asks/anon works but it’s mostly because i want everybody to know that if i end up not posting your anons, it’s nothing personal. just wanted to let you all know that i’ll always welcome people sending me stuff and that i enjoy it a lot.

[mayssa-m]

" I wanna finally achieve all I dream about every single day, i wanna become the "me" that I'm picturing every single day, I wanna get the life I've been dreaming of n understand that the others who did it aren't any better than me, I want this same "every day" thought to go away, it's been stuck with me, I jus wanna be able to get it off my chest, I can't even focus in school anymore, I wanna finally get where I've been doubting myself to be as a kid n finally learned to love myself n believe in myself during ly teenage years which are supposedly a phase, I learned to love myself during the thoughest times n finally believed in myself, but I feel like something from the back is pulling me n while in school I can't stop thinking of that life, i don't seem like I'm overthinking, so nobody is stopping me from not focusing in class making my thoughts go deeper n deeper, I reflect so much to the point where it destroys me internally, I have so much inside of me, so much to say but as a quiet person I keep everything in n never communicate it with anaybody, n it jus stacks up over time n destroys me internally n there's nothing to explain as I myself cannot understand, there's so much that stacked up overtime that there no official explanation to anything, its jus even about the simplest stuff throughout the day, making a comment on any basic stuff would overtime prevent everything from stacking up, but I don't do that. Back to where I was, I just want to be happy, sitting down in school overthinking its jus my mind thinking of how beautiful that life would be n it jus seems like I need to act n work towards it n being right now sitting down in school, I'm wasting even more time I could've been working on acomplishing my one dream, but listen even when I do work towards it n finally start being proud of myself, I look around n see people living the life I'm dying to have n that only makes me realize how far I am, n then realize that they have done the same sht too n look at where they are, its jus they started working their way up before me n I know for a fact that they've been through a lot also whether it was when starting or during the process, tbh I know the first kick is always the hardest n then you find your way n levelling happens so smoothly, so if you find it tough, jus know that's the first level n that's what God puts you through at first so that once you've crossed this barrier then everything would becomre so much eaesier that you wouldn't feel any efforts you do anymore, n I felt that last week at some point where I felt like if I did the move my whole life is gonna change n I knew for a fact its jus time went by n that feeling faded away, it was jus foreshadowing so, I promise I'll make it happen. N to my family, mostly to my parents you guys would be the first to get rewarded, before anybody else, even before myself I'll make sure my family gets a taste too. Whenever I feel like giving up on anything I jus look around n see how hard my parents are working especially for me n it jus keeps me going to want to reward them even more cus no matter how much I'll do I'll never be able to pay back, and I promise I'll do it. I'm shaking I was jus crying but I know it's part of the lane I'm taking, so I gotta go through those things in order to get to where I want.

"

[free--therapy]

Hi it's anon again!

I've sort of asked about this before I think but I've been wondering about certain things related to anxiety and stuff.

Anxiety is something everyone experiences, right? Like getting very nervous, worrying a lot over something, overthinking, panicking a bit in certain situations, etc. And from what I've learnt in the last three years, when all of those "symptoms" get too frequent or to put it simply, when they start disrupting or negatively affecting daily life, we call it a disorder, right? Like any anxiety disorder- could be gad, ocd, panic disorder, ptsd, etc. I'm not too sure though but that's my general understanding.

You know how I've mentioned about me not liking labels before? I've been wondering....suppose a person gets diagnosed with any anxiety disorder, I'm assuming, in those cases, most times, the person does have their daily life or functioning affected in a certain way, is it not?

Hmm then when can we say that person no longer has that disorder? What I mean is, a person isn't going to completely forget their thoughts or worries or triggers, right? Even in recovery, there's bound to be times where someone sees/hears something triggering which might make them worry or make them anxious for a small while. Does that mean their "disorder" never went away? Or like.....do they have their diagnosis back? Umm I don't know how to explain this properly tbh.

For example, if a person has a GAD diagnosis but then they work through it and start recovering, they learn to not react too anxiously in regards to most of their symptoms, or don't get as triggered by their symptoms....like getting worried/anxious for a few seconds to minutes but letting it go, then does that count as recovery?

And if that same person, suppose stumbles upon something too triggering which might make them have certain symptoms back for a few days, does that mean they completely relapsed and have their diagnosis back again?

I'm confused by this because most people (those who do not have anxiety disorders) still feel anxiety at a general level, right? Since it's a human thing, a normal emotion/feeling or response to a scary situation. And I'm assuming most people have certain things or topics that make them anxious and make them worry. So for those people, just because they feel anxious when it comes to certain things doesn't mean they have an anxiety disorder, does it? Because that would mean almost everyone has an anxiety disorder which isn't true I guess. So I just wanted to ask about that oh and I'm not asking for a medical or professional opinion of any sort! It's just a genuine question I wonder about sometimes.

If I have to explain my situation.... I've talked many times about how throughout second half of 2020 and more or less 2021 too, I had more anxiety issues but I was in therapy for about half a year and by the beginning of 2022, I was doing much better.

Since 2022, I've had ups and downs ofc. Like moments of worry here and there but also longer periods like the whole July of 2022 was just me worrying and being anxious and overthinking and stuff. But just that one month. After that passed, it was back to like a few small moments of worry/anxiety, at most a day or two or three. Even in 2023, the worrying came back around late June and since then until now, it's been fairly....idk how to say this.....it's been well?

Since July 2023, I've had times where I've worried a lot, or ended up overthinking way too much about really really silly stuff or even had one moment where I almost started feeling shaky from anxiety but it didn't happen because I managed myself well in that moment.

For the most part, for me, it's almost always just excessive worrying and overthinking. Most times, I'll just worry for a few minutes, sometimes it takes me like a day to get over something, sometimes it takes multiple days to a week. A major contributing factor to this is also that I'm home with really no schedule to follow because I've noticed whenever I go out, I pretty much never think about my worries.

Also in the last two months, I've really managed my thoughts well I'd say. Even if a certain "worry" thought comes up, even if it pops up in my mind more than once throughout the day, I don't dwell too much on it or even if I do, I don't do it with fear but try to do it with a curious outlook. And I try to rationalise a little (not too much because that doesn't end well), I try to simplify it and let it go.

To put it simply, I've felt pretty good mentally since 2024 started. I've had occasional worries about the same old topics I always mention to it (just lots of what ifs about my mistakes, if I deserve stuff, about ocd a panic disorder, intrusive thoughts like what ifs and about if anxiety will "ruin" my future, about apologising, if I should be moving on with my life without guilt, etc.) These are all topics that mostly I've always talked about to you so even now when a thought does pop up that makes me worry or anxious, it's almost always related to one of those topics but I can manage it well, that's what I'm saying.

Throughout 2022 and first half of 2023 and last two months, when I say I've been doing good, I mean, worrying intrusive thoughts (like what ifs) do pop up but I don't let them affect me too much, I keep my focus on my ongoing tasks and remind myself that those are just thoughts and old negative thinking patterns. Simply put, I don't let those thoughts take over my day, my week or my life. Something like that.

And I'm assuming that is more or less how someone without any anxiety disorder feels too? Like having certain old/new worries pop up, those worries might come and go throughout their day or week and they might have moments of worry and anxiety over those but they don't let it affect them or their life too much. Isn't that normal for most people?

So if my days or my experience is similar to that for weeks or months, does that mean, my anxiety is no longer "disordered" and back to normal levels more or less? I mean, the "topic" of the worry doesn't really matter, does it? Like for me, it's those topics I mentioned above, for someone else, it might be some other things that they worry about sometimes like finances, health, etc.

And if so, then if somehow it happens that in the future, I end up getting triggered enough that it sends me into an on and off overthinking spiral that lasts for a few days, then will that mean that my anxiety disorder is back? Or will it just be a normal anxiety flare and not that diagnosis which can be labelled again?

Like if you've recovered now and no longer hold that diagnosis which you initially had but still if you might get triggered by something in the future and have an anxiety spiral over it for a few days or so, does that mean you have that disorder that you were diagnosed with again? Or does that simply mean, it's just a longer than usual anxiety spiral but not that anxiety disorder that you used to have before..... something like that.

Because if someone recovers from whatever they were diagnosed with, they still might have times here and there where they think about those things they used to be anxious about, they might get a symptom or two sometimes too because it's not like we are erasing the memory by recovering, right? So any small setback or any time in the future where they have a day (or a few days) worrying or getting anxious about their worries or certain thoughts, doesn't have to mean that they never recovered or that their disorder or diagnosis is back again, does it?

And recovery doesn't mean the complete absence of worries or triggers does it? At least, I think that recovery is more of a habit of outlook of not letting the triggers affect you so much that the anxiety takes over your life again. Like it's natural to have moments of uneasiness and anxiety still about things you thought you were over but just because of that, it doesn't mean that you never recovered or that you are back to your condition again or something, right? That's what I meant....

Am I making any sense? I'm hoping my point reaches across to you because it's a bit hard to explain this.....

Also, you don't have to answer if this makes you uncomfortable in anyway! And as always, thank you for hearing me out 💖

Hey Anon,

Yes, anxiety is something everyone experiences at some point in their life, to varying degrees. It's considered a survival mechanism that we all possess. If it gets to a point where it disrupts your quality of life for longer periods of time, then yes, I'd consider it to be a disorder.

Hmm then when can we say that person no longer has that disorder? What I mean is, a person isn't going to completely forget their thoughts or worries or triggers, right? Even in recovery, there's bound to be times where someone sees/hears something triggering which might make them worry or make them anxious for a small while. Does that mean their "disorder" never went away? Or like…..do they have their diagnosis back? Umm I don't know how to explain this properly tbh.

Anxiety is something that comes in waves. If you know anything about your Autonomic Nervous System, it's made up of 2 divisions: sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic (rest-and-digest). We're supposed to be in rest-and-digest mode 80% of the time, while fight-or-flight should be 20%. However, someone with anxiety is likely in fight-or-flight mode 70%-100% of the time. When you're able to regulate your nervous system to the point where you're only in that fight-or-flight mode for less than probably 50%, I'd say that you've overcome that disorder. Anxiety is a survival mechanism so it'll never be 0% because our brain will never operate that way for us to be able to react to threats/danger.

As someone who used to suffer from depression, I knew I was healed when I no longer thought about killing myself or wanting to die every day. I knew how to combat the thoughts that used to take me down and win those battles, but also could sustain that. Do I still get depressing thoughts? Yes…but I know how to let them go without it bringing me down to those low places where I would beat myself up or turn to self-destructive behaviors (but it doesn't mean I havent tried doing them in the past!) Things just no longer have the same power as they used to before. That's how I knew.

And if that same person, suppose stumbles upon something too triggering which might make them have certain symptoms back for a few days, does that mean they completely relapsed and have their diagnosis back again?

Recovery is not a linear process, so I get why it's hard to grasp. Given that they learned the proper tools how to handle any triggers, then they just have to apply what they've learned before to get themselves out of this trigger too. Healing is a constant and never-ending battle. I still find myself being triggered here and there with things, but I know how to handle them and disarm them fairly quickly instead of letting it consume me entirely. As you go along in your journey, you should already be well equipped to figure out how to handle things…and even if you can't do it on your own, you should already hopefully have a support network to help give you insight into how you can handle this particular trigger this time. I've never experienced total relapse where I've gone all the way back to the bottom of the staircase. Yes, I've had setbacks, but never to the point where I felt like I should give up and resort back to my destructive and unhelpful behaviors. To me, I found that I wouldn't let myself go back there.

And I'm assuming that is more or less how someone without any anxiety disorder feels too? Like having certain old/new worries pop up, those worries might come and go throughout their day or week and they might have moments of worry and anxiety over those but they don't let it affect them or their life too much. Isn't that normal for most people?

I'm starting to find that the common misconception people feel about "those without anxiety disorders" is that they've never experienced before, but that's not true. A lot of the time, people have learned to copy with them. Just like weight training, the weights never get lighter, YOU just get stronger and are better able to lift them. The weight has never changed, but YOU have. These people (myself included) have learned the right tools to be able to deal with these worries because it's something that will never go away. Like I mentioned above, that fight-or-flight mode is a survival mechanism that will never be 0%

Like if you've recovered now and no longer hold that diagnosis which you initially had but still if you might get triggered by something in the future and have an anxiety spiral over it for a few days or so, does that mean you have that disorder that you were diagnosed with again? Or does that simply mean, it's just a longer than usual anxiety spiral but not that anxiety disorder that you used to have before….. something like that.

I think you have to be suffering with the anxiety for several months and even years for it to be considered a disorder. I think it's natural to dwell on certain triggering things for some time, but if you're able to eventually overcome it, then no, I wouldn't consider it being something you're diagnosed with again.

And recovery doesn't mean the complete absence of worries or triggers does it?

Recovery means being able to handle the worries and triggers right as they happen and not letting it consume you for long periods of time :) The weight doesn't get lighter, YOU get stronger.

[valentinerose529]

I checked my copy of Unlocked, and it doesn’t explain anything about the economy and working society besides birth funds, treasury cubes, and deductors (functionally similar to a credit card reader), and the fact that elves don’t need to work and treat it as a hobby or occupation. So *cracks knuckles* it’s theory time!     To be honest, since the series is targeted at kids, the worldbuilding tends to be lax and thin in some places and this is probably the case with money? to a young reader, the explanation need only be “sophie doesn’t have to worry about money when she’s transplanted into the lost cities, because everyone is given money at birth and it’s worth a lot more than human money”     (although i don’t remember how they explained sophie’s birth fund if she legally didn’t exist for the first twelve years of her life?)     tbh that’s probably also why the luster-dollar conversion rate is so astonishingly high, just because “one luster is worth a million human dollars” sounds cool to a young reader without considering all the practicalities.

But as a serious and overthought answer, I’m gonna extrapolate that the actual monetary number value of a luster isn’t the same as the economical worth. If lusters really had the same economical worth as a million dollars does in the human economy, such a high monetary value would probably end in everyone using fractional lusters or exclusively bartering for their things. Since the elven world has very little narrative focus, and a seemingly nonexistent reliance, on business and blue collar jobs (the gnomes almost exclusively handle the Lost Cities food production and distribution, for example), that’s probably not the case. Which means it’s more likely that, in some point in elven history (possibly before the Lost Cities cut contact with humanity, to explain the comparison to human money) all monetary values plummeted and inflation skyrocketed. After the economy stabilized, the actual economical value of a luster stabilized to be something more sustainable, but the now-archaic conversion rate remained the same.

Alternatively, maybe the elves just don’t know diddly-squat about human currency and assume that dollars have a much lower value than lusters, generating that million-dollar conversion rate! Who knows, it’s children’s fantasy; I’m overthinking this!

As for with jobs and working and whatnot, the series says that working is done out of want, not need. Which reads like a watered-down version of the guaranteed living income model seen in certain parts of the real world, although with a lot of unanswered worldbuilding questions. (Maybe this is why there are only two doctors so far in the series, and one of them is a school nurse? Nobody else wants that kind of job?) Unlocked says that elves can earn money through working and they can have more money than others, but this has no social importance. In the real-life guaranteed living income model, humans can and will still choose to work (in jobs that aren’t soul-sucking and exploitative, mind you) simply because we need some way to occupy ourselves and, in the ideal society, because we want to mutually contribute to our community and keep it running. (You’d think in an immortal society with such a high birth rate, a lot more elves would get jobs to occupy themselves and share their skills with the younger generations, but i honestly don’t know what most of the elven population does. Makes art? Eats vegetables? Joins a rebel group?)     It seems like the Lost Cities have a similar business model due to the two factors of birth funds and elective workforces, but as I said above, the series says nothing about the essential services and blue collar jobs of the elven world. Despite the majority of their population having skills and abilities that would improve working conditions considerably, I think the only mention of abilities having practical and everyday uses are in Atlantis when the Psionipaths maintain the shield over the city, or Flashers being well-suited to operating medical technology.     Finally, there’s a dark implication in the series that the Talentless, canonically the secondary social class, can’t get the “good” jobs that the Nobility have and may end up being the ones working the unwanted but essential jobs like waste disposal, power plant production. Which, yikes, I hope that’s not the case.

The economy in the Lost Cities makes… no sense. How do they even get their money? What is it worth on an international scale?

What’s even the point of working when there’s nothing received in return? I know it’s just a pastime, but it’s still kind of… not well thought out. Why do they even have a currency if everything’s passed out by the Nobility government? Are most jobs within the Nobility because it’s said that working within the Nobility is very prestigious… but those are the main jobs shown? Most of the ones that aren’t are looked down upon and seem to be the kind of jobs that don’t require much skill so their wouldn’t be paid as much. Actually, pay doesn’t matter so that last point was kind of irrelevant.

Why is their currency even worth so much in comparison to human money like American dollars when they don’t involve themselves with that species? Do they just use really expensive things to make their money? Why? For such an advanced society, why would it be through physics representation?

Like, Messenger couldn’t have just made it like where free enterprise is a thing so they can make money in the first place then have social institutions and advanced, unbiased tech or other redistribute the money equally through high taxes?

I’m almost certainly over thinking this. It just… I don’t understand it at all. Did I miss something in the books that explains this? I haven’t gone through all the info in Unlocked so maybe that explains it. Idk.

[urfavweeb]

feels - albedo x fem!reader

summary: albedo feels things for you that he’s not used to, but you feel them too.

MINORS PLS DNI!!!!! THX

word count: 1.9k

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, grinding, fingering, semi-public sex, virgin!albedo, idk what else tbh

author's note: if there are any issues pls lmk <3 i'm bad at endings lol so i'm sorry about that! i didn't proofread so if any errors pls say so!

days spent on dragonspine tend to drag on longer than others in your opinion. most of your friends would agree, but albedo is an exception to this opinion.

since he isn’t human, he doesn’t feel the cold quite as much as you do. that’s why whenever you mention being cold, he just raises an eyebrow at you as if you’re exaggerating.

you spend a lot of time at the mountain in albedo’s lab, often helping him gather materials or test out different potions and concoctions he creates.

you’d never been very good with creating things in the topic of alchemy, so you had decided to take up the position as his second assistant as well as a tester. sucrose had gotten more busy in mondstadt, which led to him needing more help.

being friends with albedo, you’d applied as quickly as possible. you couldn’t deny the fact that he was attractive to you (and thus caused your want to work with him to be emphasized).

and here you are now, almost a year into this job, shocked because it’s still not nightfall yet after hours of working on what feels like the coldest day of the year. you’re outside, looking in between bushes and trees trying to find different herbs for albedo.

you finally find a handful of the ones that albedo had explained, grinning at the thought of finally being able to go back to the campsite and curl up with a book by the fire. as you start your walk back, you look out towards mondstadt and admire the sunset.

eventually you reach the campsite, noticing albedo staring at a small stack of papers with an annoyed look on his face. his eyes go from the papers to you and a small smirk forms on his lips before disappearing right after.

“hello, y/n. did you get what i asked you for?” he asks softly as you approach him. you nod, setting down the pouch of herbs beside his workspace and showing him which ones you were able to find and telling which ones you weren’t able to find.

“it was a little hard to find a lot of them since so many were near groups of hilichurls and stuff. i really didn’t want to fight with any monsters or treasure hoarders today.” you say, looking up and meeting his eyes.

he nods, “that’s fine. i can go out later to fetch them.”

you notice that he seems a little off, expression more distant than it had been before you left. “is everything okay?” you ask, turning and walking up to the small fire pit and sitting down on one of the chairs.

“yes. i’ve just been dealing with some new thoughts and emotions recently, so i’ve been trying to get to the bottom of what they entail.” he says, and you nod as he speaks.

new emotions and thoughts? that’s interesting. you don’t want to press him for answers, but now you can’t help but wonder what he means by that, sending a questionable gaze in his direction.

you decide to reach over for a book you’ve been reading and pick it up, opening up to the page that you left off on and opting to occupy yourself instead of overthinking about what albedo could possibly be dealing with.

a few minutes go by before you can hear him sigh a few times and eventually approach you, standing in front of you and clearing his throat. you look up at him and raise your eyebrows, waiting for him to say something.

“i am attracted to you. i’ve been reading about human attraction and how different emotions can cause different bodily predicaments to occur, which has been happening to me whenever you’re around.” you look up at him, feeling your face go hot at his words.

you clear your throat. “um, what do you mean by that?”

his hand touches your face, stroking your cheek lightly whilst he smirks. “i think you’re smart enough to know what i’m saying to you.”

you swallow harshly, staring into his eyes as he leans in closer to you. you can feel his breath on your lips as he closes his eyes, hands falling down onto your waist as his nails dig into your skin.

once your lips meet, your lips move erratically against each other’s. his lips are as soft as you’d always imagined they’d be, and he seems more experienced than you would’ve expected. the way his fingers massage into your hips sends you reeling, whimpers escaping from your mouth.

eventually, he lifts you and leads you to a little cot placed near a small fire, pushing your back down into the mattress and kissing you once more. his body is on top of yours, his hips pushing into yours as his tongue finds its way into your mouth.

the feeling of his tongue swiping against your own overwhelms your senses, your panties growing more soaked by the second. little grunts bubble up from your throat when his clothed dick begins grinding harder against you.

his hands eventually move to your breasts and he begins groping them softly, hands eventually unzipping your coat and skillfully sliding if off while your lips stay glued together. his hands go underneath your shirt as he pulls away from your lips for a moment.

“are you okay with going any further?” he asks, voice sounding a lot more deep than usual. you nod quickly and he laughs softly, helping you get undressed until you’re in your bra and panties.

his eyes look over your body as he smirks, a hand reaching out and squeezing at one of your breasts. “you’re beautiful.” he says.

you smile up at him, tugging on his clothes and raising your eyebrows. “i’d like to compliment you too, so take off your clothes.”

minutes later, you’re both kissing again. this time both of you are in your underwear as his teeth nibble at your lips and tug a few times. his hips rut into yours, sending your head back as you gasp into his mouth.

his fingers play with the waistband of your panties before dipping down, his index finger reaching down and toying with your clit softly. you moan into his mouth at his touch, fingers digging into his arms.

his fingers enter you slowly, one after the next as they curl against your g-spot. your eyes are rolled back as he thrusts them fast, thumb brushing against your clit as his tongue swirls against your own.

you can feel your orgasm approaching quickly as you grind your hips against his hand, his lips finally leaving yours as he looks down at you and watches your face closely with a smug smirk on his face.

his face leans down and his free hand pulls one of your tits out from your bra, his lips kissing all over and sucking dark marks into your skin. you breathlessly moan his name out, feeling like you’re on the edge of cumming before his movements become more harsh and quick.

your toes curl as your orgasm washes over you, a moan escaping your lips as his teeth tug on your nipple roughly. his fingers don’t stop moving, your hips pushing back from the overstimulation.

“p-please stop, i’m too sensitive!” you cry out, hearing him chuckle lightly as he removes his fingers from your hole.

he’s quick to pull his cock out of his underwear, stroking the tip up and down your pussy. it hits your clit occasionally, sending you reeling into his touch as you shake from the stimulation.

as he gathers up your slick, he begins putting the tip in. he bites down on his bottom lip as he slowly slides in, and the stretch makes you moan loudly. once he bottoms out, he sighs at the feeling of your walls clenching against him.

his hands reach out for yours as he looks down into your eyes. “are you okay?”

you nod at him, “yes, now please move.” you whisper, feeling your thigh muscles twitching from arousal.

he begins thrusting slowly at first, having never felt this before. his movements aren’t as awkward as you would’ve expected, hands gripping onto your hips while he gets used to moving around.

once he starts going harder your moans become louder, feeling his tip hit your sweet spot repeatedly. your fingers grip onto his shoulders, trying to give your body some leverage against his movements.

despite his fast movements, you can’t help but crave more. you want him to make you sore for days on end. “harder, please!” you moan out.

you feel his hips move rougher against yours, smacking harshly and creating loud noises that echo against the walls of the campsite. the force of his movements causes your breath to shorten, shaky gasps coming from your throat.

the lack of airflow mixed with his hard thrusts have you going dizzy, eyes rolling back and tongue lulling out of your mouth. you’re close to cumming for the second time, your walls clenching involuntarily.

he grunts as he lifts up your legs, pushing them towards your shoulders as he thrusts at a new angle. your toes curl at the feeling, and one of his hands reaches down and he starts rubbing at your clit again.

this makes you moan his name out loudly, cumming against his cock and feeling your juices drip all over him.

he keeps going at the fast pace, thrusts eventually getting sloppier as he gets closer to cumming. his fingers dig into your hips, nails leaving marks as he grunts. the overstimulation of his movements hurts so good as you whine out.

eventually his hips stutter and you can feel him cum inside of you, thick cum filling up against your walls as he continues his movements through his orgasm.

after he’s finished cumming, he pulls out slowly and watches as his cum leaks from your pussy and down onto the cot. you adjust your body and stretch out your legs, wincing at the soreness between your legs.

“are you alright?” albedo asks, out of breath as he begins getting dressed. as he hands you your clothes, you nod at him.

you start getting dressed too, “yes. i honestly didn’t expect that to be so good, especially since you’re a virgin.” you tease him, a small smile on your face.

he laughs softly. “you’d be surprised what one can learn from reading.” he says, winking at you while he adjusts his papers that’d been sitting on one of the many tables in the campsite. as he finishes up, he decides to walk back over to you shortly after.

“thank you for allowing me to… experiment with you. it was an unforgettable experience, and i hope we can do it again soon.” he says, one of his hands reaching out and tucking hair behind your ear.

you giggle and press a chaste kiss on his lips, grasping onto his now gloved hands. “of course. i really do like you, albedo. i didn’t want that to be a one time thing.” you say, looking into his eyes.

you can hear shuffling behind you and turn to see sucrose walking in. “hey y/n! uh, your pants are on backwards…” she says, blushing as she looks between you and albedo.

you awkwardly look away from her, trying not to meet her eyes. “oh, thanks for letting me know.”

a look of realization forms on her face. “wait a minute! did you guys fornicate on MY cot?!” she shouts.

[masterthespianduchovny]

Tbh, I think the idea of Carmy not listening to Sydney is overstated.

He didn’t listen to her one time and that was with the brigade implementation.

The other times he didn’t “listen” to her wasn’t him not listening, it was Sydney being impatient. Carmy takes his time when making decisions. He likes to think things over and carefully consider them. And that’s not to say this is always the right approach, he comes off as a bit too cautious and overthinking things sometimes. Where as Sydney can definitely be impulsive.

Sydney gives him the COGs and he reads them, and then agrees that sandwiches at night are killing them. He later starts serving other food at night due to Sydney’s suggestions. Sydney wants to do pre orders, which Carmy is apprehensive and uneasy about, but he agrees anyways. Sydney wants to introduce a new dish on the menu, Carmy asks for her to ask him at another time. He also asks her follow up questions, which shows that he’s not saying no just to say it. He literally says, “now you see where I’m coming from…” to give Syd an idea of why he’s being cautious: Then when he agrees for her to make her dish for him to try, he says it’s not ready yet not that he won’t put it out in the floor.

Truth be told, Carmy listens to Sydney more than he doesn’t even when it’s brings him out his comfort zone.

There is a time that he didn’t listen to her that had nothing to do with ignoring her and was him teaching her a leadership moment. Now before some assume that this is me trying to excuse Carmy, I’ve written a meta on how that moment later goes on to show why Carmy was wrong to explode on her and Marcus.

The ep Tina sabotaged Sydney and she kept trying to explain herself, but Carmy wouldn’t allow her to…that wasn’t him not trying to listen to her. It was him saying it doesn’t matter, she’s the sous chef and she just needs to take care of it regardless of who was supposed to do it. They’re behind and she shouldn’t be focusing on that. Even with the pot, regardless of what the truth is, it still needs to be redone and explaining the situation only postpones getting it completed.

So when Carmy freaks out later on in the season, he completely disregarded his own lesson and did the very thing he and Sydney were trying to avoid: verbal abuse in the kitchen.

But Carmy does listen to Syd. He listens to her more than anyone else and implements a lot of her ideas and suggestions. It’s kinda weird to read some people say/suggest that he doesn’t (do it as much as he does).

[taleasnewastime]

Back in your bed

Summary: Rule number one, never text your ex, especially for a booty call. You know it, everyone knows it, but you’re only in New York for one night and sat alone at the bar you used to go to together it becomes too easy to slip. You send him a text before you can overthink it. What you don’t expect is for him to reply, but more than that, for him to invite you over.

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: pwp; ex relationship.

Word count: 7.1k

Warnings: Relationship post break up, talk of the break up, mentions of feeling sad, talk of missing each other, basically a recent break up so lots of different emotions around that, explicit sexual content, sex with an ex, unprotected sex (the reason is explained), dom!Yoongi, rough sex, teasing, sir kink, face fucking, oral, dirty talk, manhandling, light chocking, aftercare, tbh it’s kind of depressing in place, and *spoiler* this doesn’t have the happiest of endings, Yoongi is still soft though.

Authors Note: Another pwp story, this one based off the song sex (with my ex) by FLETCHER. It’s not the happiest of stories, but lets be honest, everyone is here for the sex. I hope you enjoy!

You shouldn’t text him. Isn’t that rule number one after breaking up with someone? Don’t text them late at night when you’ve had a few drinks.

But you’re in New York, just for the night, and wouldn’t it be ruder to not message him? You ended it on good terms after all. Friends, wasn’t that the word he used when you last saw him? If he is truly a friend, then shouldn’t you message him? Ask if he wants to meet for a drink? Because that’s all it would be. Just a drink between friends.

You stare down at the brightly lit screen of your phone, the message thread between you and Yoongi glaring back at you. Even as you stare at the date the last message was sent your heart cracks a little. Nearly three weeks ago. You used to text daily, hourly, hardly a minute away from each other spent not texting. And now you don’t even know his evening plans, let alone whether he’d even want to see you.

You know you’re being delusional thinking that all you want from him is to talk. You want far more than that. Want to feel his hands on you. Want to feel his lips on yours. Want to just feel him, all of him. Want to feel wanted again.

Maybe you’ve had one too many drinks, but you still feel in your right mind as you start typing out a message. You don’t think about it, don’t reread the message again knowing you’ll chicken out the minute you think too hard about what you’re doing. Your finger clicks send and you watch as the message turns blue, two grey ticks appear before you lock your phone and put it face down.

You pick up your half-finished drink, take a long sip as you try not to threat over what you’ve done.

It would be embarrassing if he didn’t reply. Probably more so if he calls you out and doesn’t want to see you. But you’re so desperate you don’t care. Barely a few weeks have passed and yet you still can’t stop thinking of him.

You should take your friends advice; get under someone else to get over Yoongi. But no one has made you feel the way Yoongi made you feel. Granted you’ve never given anyone much of a chance, but all their sleezy talk and looks, none of it had exactly made you want to take it any further.

You take slow sips of your drink, as if the act is helping to distract you, but all to soon you’re picking up your phone again.

No message waits for you. Yours still sits unread.

You shouldn’t be surprised, but your heart still drops at the sight. Maybe he’s blocked your number. Maybe he’s seen it and is ignoring you. Or maybe you just need to give him a bit more time, it has barely been five minutes after all.

Hand raised; you signal to the bartender that you want another drink. The place is pretty quiet, it’s only a Wednesday night, the only reason you’re here is because your flight is in the morning and you needed something to occupy your time. Sitting in your hotel room felt too lonely, but now sat in this bar on your own; you don’t feel much better.

Still, at least being one of the only people in here means the service is quick. The bartender doesn’t stand around long enough to chat, just takes your money and disappears, as if you’re contagious.

If you’re being honest with yourself, you don’t blame him, you feel contagious. Since Yoongi essentially dumped you, you felt like a dark cloud was constantly over your head. You had told your friends it was a mutual decision, but are break ups ever mutual? Both parties may ultimately agree that it’s for the best, but it is always initiated by one person, the feelings always stronger on one side.

You don’t blame Yoongi and in hindsight can see that the decision was for the best. You’d been going through a rough patch anyway, and then when you got offered a job that meant you’d have to move away Yoongi said you should take it, but that he wouldn’t come with you.

Friends. You could still stay friends. The word like a dagger through your heart. Something someone says to try and make the whole thing sound better, but just ends up making it worse. You don’t want to be his friend. Don’t want to see the pictures on Instagram of him moving on from you. Don’t want to have to pretend that you’re fine with it all, because you’re his friend and have no right to say anything anymore.

You still want him in your life. But you don’t know if you could deal with anything less than what you had before.

Maybe it’s best if he doesn’t reply. Maybe you should just finish this drink and head back to your hotel room. Maybe you should finally move on from Yoongi.

As the thought passes through your mind your phone dings, and as if you hadn’t just thought about how you shouldn’t see Yoongi, you snatch your phone up off the table.

Y/N [22:34]: I’m in New York for the night with work. Flight leaves tomorrow morning but in Tonic if you want to join me for a drink?

Yoongi [22:48]: I’ve just cracked open a bottle of whiskey. Fancy coming over? Will be nice to see you.

Your heart pounds as if it’s not everything you’d wished for. But with your earlier thoughts of thinking it’s best not to go, you can’t help but hesitate. Still, it’s no surprise to anyone when you send your reply to Yoongi and head out of the bar.

You’ve missed New York. The noise, the fact everything is seemingly on your doorstep, the familiarity of everything. It’s easy to jump into a cab, easy to sit back and watch the lights flit past your window, easy to pay the necessary fee and get out the cab at your destination.

Maybe it’s the alcohol that’s still in your system, but you don’t even think as you press the buzzer for Yoongi’s apartment. It all feels so natural, as if it hasn’t been weeks since you last climbed these stairs. It’s not until the door is opening and Yoongi is stood in front of you that everything comes back.

He’s not yours anymore.

Still, you plaster your best smile on your face as he regards you. You’re glad you at least look put together today, still in the smart clothes you wore for your work conference. Hair tidy, makeup on. You don’t look like the broken woman you feel inside, the one that you normally look.

“Hey,” you chirp, your voice sounding weird even to your own ears. You need to chill, to calm down, to not be so weird.

Yoongi just nods his head at you, a small smile gracing his lips as he steps back and pulls the door open. A silent invitation for you to enter.

He looks as good as he always has. Loose sweats gracing his body, yet still somehow showing off his trim physic. It’s always made you jealous, and it still does today. He seemingly makes no effort and yet still looks good.

“I believe I promised you whiskey,” Yoongi says as he walks away from you.

You follow him the short distance to his sofa. Everything looks the same as when you were last here. You’d be fooled into thinking nothing had changed if it weren’t for the fact there is not a single thing linked to you here. There was never much in the first place, and you’d made sure to pick up everything before you left. Still, to not even see a picture with your face makes your steps stutter.

Yoongi pours you a glass of whiskey and leaves it on the coffee table as he reclines and sips at his. You can feel his eyes watching you as you take the seat next to him. Try not to act suspiciously as you pick up your own glass and take a sip.

“How have you been?” The question feels awkward coming out of your lips. You can’t even look at him, as if you’ll break down when your eyes meet.

“Good,” a single word is all you get now. You used to get full sentences and spiels and rants when you used to ask that question. “You?”

You nod your head, take another sip of your drink as you do. This wasn’t how you expected this to go, though you hadn’t really put much thought into what would happen when you actually got here. Had been too caught up in trying to get here to think past the moment.

“Yeah, good thanks. The job is going well, had to travel here for this conference, which went well. It all feels very important.”

“You’re smashing it,” he says it easily, like it’s a fact everyone knows. “I knew you would.”

You nod again. He was always your biggest supporter, always the one pushing you and encouraging you. Isn’t that one of the reasons you broke up in the first place? He thought you should take the job over him? The thought makes you take another sip of your drink.

“The flat looks good.” It’s lame and awkward, but you have nothing else to say, plus the statement allows you to scan your eyes around the room, gives you an excuse to avoid looking at him a bit longer.

He hums, and though you can’t see him, you can picture his eyes following the same course as yours around the room.

“Not much has changed,” he says.

Except it has, you want to say, because I’m not here.

You finally look at him. And it’s as if he can read every thought going through your mind. His eyes are soft and caring, and where you thought he might be stiff and trying to stay as far away from you as possible, he’s actually turned towards you, leaning in slightly.

“I’ve missed you.” The words crack through you, each raw with emotion.

You know they’re not words you should admit out loud, at least not to Yoongi. But sat here, staring at the man you still love, you can’t help it.

And really, you both know why you’re here, so is there any use it skirting around the topic? You miss him. You don’t know if he feels the same, but the fact he invited you here, you’re willing to risk it.

“You’re only here for one night.” You don’t know if he’s asking a question, to check that if he does anything more right now there won’t be additional consequences tomorrow, or whether he’s stating a fact as to why he doesn’t want anything to happen, as if one night and then you going isn’t a good thing.

You know it’s not a good thing, not healthy, especially when you’re not over the man. It will be pointless sex, sex for the sake of sex and not sex because you love each other. Still, you crave it. You don’t really care about the future, just the here and now.

“One night,” you reply.

It’s enough to convince him. He leans forward and his movement is enough for you to follow his lead. You both meet each other in the middle, lips clashing against each other. You scramble to get rid of your glass, spilling liquid on the floor as you shove the glass on the table. Hands now free, you lurch for Yoongi, hands grabbing at his shirt in an attempt to pull him closer to you.

It’s not the kiss of two lovers who have spent time apart, no, it’s the kiss of two people who know this will be the last time. Hungry and desperate and full of heat. Your lips don’t slowly mould together, they move as if to devour the other person.

Yoongi pushes his weight into you causing to you to lean backwards and he doesn’t stop until you are fully reclined on the sofa. His lips still attached to yours, he now dives his tongue into your mouth. You’ve had sex with Yoongi so many times, and yet none had ever felt like this, at least not so early on. Normally it takes the two of you a while to get to a point where you’d even start taking off clothes, but tonight, with Yoongi grinding down into you, you don’t even know whether you’ll make it to the point of your clothes coming off. Like an over excited virgin, coming after barely being touched.

Wetness pools in your pants as Yoongi takes your bottom lip between his teeth and you arch your back up into him so that when he grinds into you it’s that much harder.

Your lips break away from his as your throw your head backwards, a moan escaping your mouth. A chuckle leaves Yoongi’s lips at the sight, a cockiness taking over him at how he’s making you feel. But you feel no shame as you continue to arch into him. If this is only going to be for one night, if this is truly going to be the last time, you’re going to enjoy every second, going to take everything you can from it, are not going to care about being self-conscious.

“You missed me, huh?” Yoongi’s voice is deep as he brushes his lips down your exposed throat. The tone would give away the fact he is feeling the same way as you are if you hadn’t already felt his swollen cock brushing up against your core.

You moan in reply as his teeth lightly nip down your neck. The noise doesn’t seem to satisfy Yoongi though, he pulls away from you enough that he can stare down at you.

“Say it,” his voice is still deep, his pupils blown out with desire, the look makes your stomach twist into knots, causes your pants to become wetter. “Say you missed me.”

“I’ve already said it,” you push, annoyed that so far you’re the only one to have voiced such an opinion.

It’s obviously not the right time to say it, not the night to be bratty with Yoongi. Your relationship was always pretty even, neither of you more dominate than the other, in either the bedroom or out of it. But tonight seems to be one of those nights that Yoongi is on a power trip. You don’t mind it, in fact you find it incredibly hot when he starts ordering you around.

Still, a whiney noise escapes you as Yoongi pushes off you. While he stands up, you sit up and stare at him, worried you’ve pushed him away, worried he’s realised that this is a mistake. But he doesn’t move away, stands with his knees touching yours, looking down at you.

“Has it been too long? Am I going to have to remind you how to respect me? Am I going to have to remind you what happens when you don’t do what I say?”

You almost salivate as you watch his long, ringed fingers work at the buckle of his belt. You’d reach out to help him if the whole thing wasn’t so hot, and if you knew he wouldn’t punish you for doing something without him telling you to do it first. You knew what he wanted, had played this role with him before, and if it’s what he wanted, if it will mean he’ll give you what you want, you’ll go along with it.

“I’m sorry sir,” you suppress the grin that threatens to show when Yoongi’s fingers stumble at the name, instead look up at him through your eyelashes. “I’ll be good I promise.”

He pauses, looking down at you. And then as quick as lightning, one of his hands come out and tugs your hair. It’s not so harsh that it hurts, but it’s enough to tilt your head back so that you are looking at him square on.

“Don’t mock me,” he says through gritted teeth.

“I – I wasn’t sir,” you stutter, the arrogance you previously felt gone, but wetness still continues to pool between your legs.

“Then you won’t mind putting that mouth to better use,” he says.

He lets go of your hair as he straightens, but you don’t move your head, just continue to obediently stare up at him. He looks satisfied as his fingers go back to his belt, as if you’re a well-trained pet doing exactly what he’s said.

You can tell he’s teasing you, that he’s purposefully opening his belt slowly. But you can also tell that he can’t wait, that although he’s doing everything slowly, he can’t do it too slowly. He wants this too, he can’t wait to have you just like you can’t. Something that should long be dead blossoms inside you.

He pushes his trousers and pants down just enough to let his cock spring free. It looks more beautiful than when you last saw it. You never gave it too much thought before, had taken it for granted. But not now, now you take in the thickness, the veins running down its length, the pre-come seeping from the bulbus tip. It shouldn’t be beautiful, but it is.

You only have eyes for it, watch as Yoongi’s long fingers wrap around it and slowly pump up and down. It feels like you’re in a trance, like you couldn’t pull your eyes away from the sight even if you wanted to.

Yoongi doesn’t even have to ask, your mouth pops open on its own accord, wide and ready to take him.

A chuckle sounds out from above you as you sit waiting. Yoongi continues to stroke himself, not taking you up on your request yet, continuing to tease you.

“You really did miss me,” you can hear the pride in his voice, but still don’t look up at him. “Fine, if you’re really going to act like a needy bitch, I guess I should give you what you want.”

You salivate as his hips move towards you. Pop your mouth open with just enough time for him to guide his tip between your lips. You hear his sigh, as if he’s relived to be back in your mouth. The noise spurs you on, as Yoongi pushes his hips towards you, you push your head towards him. You gag as his tip touches the back of your throat, and though Yoongi lets out a moan, he also places a hand on your head and pulls fully out of you. You whine at the loss, lips pop out into a pout.

“Do you ever do what you’re told?” He snaps at you as if you’re a misbehaving child. “Do you want to be punished? Do you want me to lie you down and fuck your face? Is that it?”

He must see the way your legs rub against each other to get some form of release for your aching core as his tone, once again, turns cocky.

“That’s it isn’t it. You actually want this, will do anything just to have this cock back in you.”

You don’t want to admit it’s true, but your silence must be telling enough.

“You’ll do as I say, or you’ll get nothing,” he says, one hand holding his cock, the other going to grab your chin.

He inches closer to you again, enough to rub his pre come along the lips you can’t open. Yoongi’s ragged breaths sound out from above you as he trails a pattern on your lips. Though his voice is level and calm, he is clearly enjoying the sight.

“Now open up,” he whispers the words, hand releasing your chin so you can follow his orders. “Now be a good girl and sit still for me.”

It’s a hard order to follow. You want to reach out and touch him. You want to bob your head in rhythm with his hips. You want to make him feel good. But you do as he says, sit, mouth open and you let him slowly fuck into your mouth.

Still, there are things you can do to help him. You can hollow your cheeks. You can run your tongue on the underside of his cock, drag it along the bulbus head when he withdraws far enough for you to do it. All things he allows, so all things you do.

“Look at me,” his voice is deep and raspy.

You do as he says. Eyes rolling up as far as they can to catch a glimpse of his face, and the sight you see is worth everything you’ve done to get here.

A bead of sweat runs down his face, his hair sticks to his forehead. His eyes are blown wide but look unfocused and wild. His lips are red from where you kissed him earlier and have been made worse by the teeth that tug at his bottom lip now.

“Fuck, you’re so good,” he rasps, hips speeding up. “So fucking good.”

You hum as if to agree with him, you just want him to know that you’re enjoying this as much as him, but the vibrations go through him and cause his face to contort with pleasure.

His hand grabs a fistful of hair, tugging your head back a bit more forcefully than earlier. His cock slips in deeper, tears well in your eyes as you gag. And this time the noise doesn’t draw him away, if anything, it encourages him.

“Fucking slut,” he says the words with no offence, hips stilling when his pubic bone is nestled against your nose.

You chock, but he holds your head still for a second or two before drawing away to let you breathe.

His hand falls away as he steps away from you, giving you room to pant and get air back into your

lungs. Still, it doesn’t take you long before you’re looking back expectantly at him. Your breath barely caught and you’re already for him again.

He chuckles at you, and you’re sure a glint of pride passes through his eyes.

“I think we’re both ready for a bit more.”

Like Pavlov’s dog, your core clenches around nothing at the words. You’re ready for him, it’s what you’ve wanted since walking through the door, and though you should probably drag this out for as long as possible, you also just want it all now.

“What? Are you suddenly mute?” Yoongi’s voice is hard again, and you stiffen at the fact that you’re still in this, he still wants to be the dominating one here. “Use your words love.”

“Yes sir.” You say the only words that come to your mind.

“And what does that mean?” He snaps. “What exactly is it you want Y/N?”

“You sir,” you say and then rush to clarify. “I want you in me. Please, sir.”

He hums, the sound long and deep. You’re worried he’s going to deprive you. But from everything you’ve seen, you should have known he wouldn’t. He was the one that suggested taking it further in the first place.

“Take off your clothes and follow me.”

He doesn’t wait to see if you follow his order, just turns and walks away. It takes a second for your mind to catch up, but as soon as it does, you’re standing and almost falling over yourself to get your outfit off. You leave the clothes in a pool on the floor, not caring if your skirt creases or your shirt gets rumpled, purely focused on the door that Yoongi’s disappeared through.

You go the familiar route to Yoongi’s room and the sight you are met with stops you in your tracks.

He’s sat completely naked on his bed, back pushed up against the headboard, cock in hand. His eyes land on you and he doesn’t have to say anything, expectancy swims in his eyes. You know what he wants, and for the first time tonight you don’t rush to him.

“Do you – I mean – have you slept with anyone?”

There’s no other way to ask it. Your heart pounds harder with every second that passes as you wait for the answer. It’s not that you wouldn’t sleep with him if he had, though the fact would break your heart. No, it was what was so clearly missing from this situation, something you’d talked about before, but now you’re not together needs to be re-raised. As always, he reads the meaning behind your words.

“No. I’m clean. I haven’t been with anyone since you.” Clear and simple. No way to misinterpret it. But there’s a pause and then he carries on less certain. “What about you?”

You’re faster to answer. Shaking your head as if the thought disgusts you and you need to get rid of it.

“No, no one.”

He nods, and though his face remains emotionless, you swear you can see the hint of a smile on his lips.

“We can still use a condom if you want. I have some in the bathroom.”

Your heart swells at the thoughtfulness, but you still shake your head at his offer. “It’s ok, I trust you.”

He nods again, his eyes glinting in the low light. You can’t read him from this far away, can’t work out what’s going through his mind as he sits naked watching you. And maybe it’s been too long anyway, maybe even if you were face to face with him you wouldn’t be able to read him anymore. It’s only been a few weeks since you broke up, and yet you’ve never felt further away from him.

“What you waiting for then?” He snaps you out of your thoughts. “Come and sit on my lap.”

The orders are back, the deep demanding voice returning. After the previous moment you realise why he’s probably doing it, why he’s slipping into a role he so rarely took when you were together; he’s deflecting, protecting himself as if, if you both do this how you used to then it will be like nothing has changed. You don’t blame him. Your already broken heart will probably not even be able to cope with what’s currently going on, let alone if you do this as if you’re still in love.

You walk towards him; it doesn’t feel particularly sexy and yet Yoongi can’t take his eyes off you. When you make it to the bed you shuffle along the length so that your legs straddle his. You only come to a stop when you’re hovering above him.

His hands come to grasp your hips, stopping you from moving.

“And are you ready?”

It’s a rhetorical question, one of his hands coming round to your stomach before you can answer. His eyes don’t leave yours as his fingers dip down between your folds. A noise comes to life in your throat as his fingers first circle your clit and then run down to your entrance. He doesn’t linger long, just circles your entrance before pulling away again.

“You’re ready,” he says, satisfied as he pulls away, waiting for you to make the next move.

The power now in your hands, you know you could try and take advantage, but you also know that he’s only letting you feel this way, that really the power is still with him. And really, you couldn’t tease him even if you wanted to; you want this too much to go slow.

You reach down so that you can line his tip up with you and then you sit down fully on him. He feels big, bigger than you remember. There were times when you would be away from each other, times where you wouldn’t have sex for a week or so, but first that after that never felt like this.

It’s probably all the emotions attached to this moment. The fact that you felt so lonely and missed him so much, and now you’re completely and utterly full of him.

It feels good. It feels so unbelievably fucking good.

You don’t wait to adjust, don’t wait to see if he needs a minute, just lift your hips up and then plunge back down onto him.

You set a steady pace, eyes fluttering shut, head tipping back. Yoongi’s fingers flutter around your hips before they more firmly rest on the flesh, not there to help you move, but there to just feel you, to feel your skin on his.

You want to feel him too, want to quicken your pace, for him to get impossibly deeper in you.

You force your eyes open intending to place your hands on his shoulders or his chest, but the sight of Yoongi’s face makes your hips stutter to a stop. You’re quick to recover, hips moving up and down again. But Yoongi’s face stays the same. He’s not looking at your face, he’s leant back, relaxed, eyes trained on where your bodies meet. He’s drinking everything in, a small smile on his lips while his eyes are completely blown open.

You place your hands on his shoulders, the act causing you to lean into him slightly which creates a different angle and ultimately means he slips in deeper. A moan escapes you, the noise seeming to break something between you.

“That’s it,” his voice is raspy, his eyes not leaving the spot where he enters you. “Fucking use me.”

You moan again, his words causing you to set a different pace. Slower but more forceful. It feels like you’re clamping down on him and you know you’re going to come any second. But you keep going, keep moving your hips, keep focusing on the pure pleasure that he is creating in you.

“Come,” he orders. “Come on me. I want to feel you.”

“I – I don’t – I want you to come first,” you stutter.

A small chuckle leaves his lips, his eyes finally moving, coming to a rest when he meets your gaze. It’s nearly your undoing, but you manage to hold it, if only for a few minutes more.

“I will,” he promises. “But I need to feel you first.”

You swallow. Consider his words. And then nod, words unable to form in your mouth anymore.

You refocus on the feeling welling up in your core as you pound down on Yoongi. Your eyes flutter shut as moans blossom in your throat.

“That’s it,” Yoongi whispers the words. “Come on me.”

You moan louder as you fall forward into him. You can feel him reaching places in you that haven’t been touched in so long. Pleasure courses through you and you wouldn’t be able to stop it even if you want to. You try to keep moving, try to elongate the pleasure coursing through you but your movements become sloppier, less force between each thrust.

Yoongi’s hands, still on your hips, start to help. He helps to guide you up and down, helps you to ride out the feeling. And when the last shudder goes through you, you collapse onto Yoongi’s chest. Nose pressed to his skin you breath in his scent, sweet from sweat, but still woody with a hint of citrus from the shower gel he has always used. It’s a scent you know so well, a smell you’ve missed, one you can’t draw away from.

Yoongi gives you time. His hard cock still buried deep in you, one of his hands has moved to your back, the fingers splayed over the skin as if to keep you close.

You’re both silent as you take in the moment. It’s soft and gentle, the closest to how you used to be you’ve been all night. And maybe the same thought passes through Yoongi’s mind as his hands move, drawing away from you. It’s dangerous, everything you’ve done tonight is dangerous, but this, the almost cuddle, the comfort, the closeness, is the most dangerous. You can’t afford to pretend this is anything but sex.

“I want you on your hands and knees.”

You don’t move for a beat, stay with your head pressed to his chest. And even when you sit up straight and look at him, you don’t rush to do what he’s requested.

You want to protest, want to say that you want to see him when he comes. But you don’t say anything, just raise off him and scramble away from him.

On your hands and knees you wait for him, feel the bed dip and move as Yoongi moves to perch behind you. A shudder goes through you when his hand comes to rest on your ass. He runs his palm across the skin, it’s soft and you can almost imagine his eyes watching the spot as if trying to drink in every moment of this.

“You’ve always been good,” his voice is more composed now, no longer raspy.

His hand moves from your ass up your back until it comes to a stop between your shoulder blades. He applies a bit of pressure, a request that you follow. Your arms fold under you, shoulders and head hit the bed while your ass stays up in the air.

“So fucking beautiful,”

His hand retreats back to your ass, caressing the skin there again, and then his other hand goes to your other cheek. He pushes the skin in opposing directions, exposing your cunt, and then you feel his still wet cock run through the valley he’s created. You almost buckle under the feeling; you’ve just come and yet you’re already ready again.

He moves slowly, his tip toying with your puckered hole. Jagged breaths come out of him as he keeps rolling his hips into you. It’s slow and calculated and it feels so fucking good.

“You like that, huh?” You want to say the same back to him, but just moan in response to his question. “You’ve missed this, missed this massive cock in you.”

It’s not a question but you know he wants a response. “Missed it so much. Please, Yoongi.”

“Fucking slut,” he says with a chuckle, hips still grinding into your ass. “Beg for it.”

You pause only for a moment, but it’s enough for Yoongi to become a bit more forceful.

“Beg for it, slut.”

“Please Yoongi,” you sound as desperate as you feel, the words falling out of you with no hesitation now. “Please. I need you. Please fuck me.”

A chuckle leaves his lips. You can imagine the cocky smile on his lips as he hips stop moving. He draws away from you, but you don’t worry, just wiggle your hips in anticipation for what’s about to happen.

His hands grasp your hips, stopping any movement.

“Stay nice and still for me,” he whispers.

And then, with no warning, he enters you. Even his hands can’t stop your hips moving as your back involuntarily arches up into him, a loud moan escaping you.

Just like you hadn’t waited before, he doesn’t wait now. He holds your hips still as he pounds into you. You thought you’d been hard with him earlier, but that was nothing in comparison to now. His balls slap against your clit, his hips pound against yours, you’re sure there will be bruises in the morning, but you don’t care, it feels too good to care.

“Yes, Yoongi, yes,” you encourage, the only words you can manage to let him know that he should keep going, that you’re enjoying this.

“You like this?” The raspy quality has returned to his voice. “You’ve missed this?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” you cry out into the bed.

Another chuckle leaves his lips, your words just spurring him on. He goes impossibly faster, his hips slamming into yours as his cock reaches deep inside you. Your body is jostled forward on the bed, but his hands on your hips keep you where he wants you. The headboard bashes against the wall, the noise reflecting the noise of his balls slapping against you. Just like you think there will be bruises on you tomorrow, you’re sure there will be a mark on the wall, the thought makes you proud, something for Yoongi to remember you by.

“You’re already close?” Yoongi growls above you. “I can feel you clenching me.”

He’s not lying. You’re trying to stop it, trying to stay in this as long as you can, but already you feel like you’re going to come undone. It’s taking everything to not let go.

“Just fucking come,” he sounds annoyed, but you know he wouldn’t have said it if he wasn’t close too. He’s using you to cover how much he wants to come.

You don’t care, don’t feel embarrassed about how little time has passed since he entered you, just moan out as you let go. White blinds you even as your vision is obscured by the bed. Yoongi continues to pound into you even as your core clenches him like a vice.

“Fuck,” he curses. “So fucking tight.”

His voice is breathy, his hips stutter, his thrusts become sloppier. But you’re hardly aware of it as your orgasm continues to rack through you. It’s the most pleasure you’ve had in a while, probably one of the best orgasms you’ve ever had. And you focus on the sensation, sure that it will be the best you have for a while yet, you want to remember it.

You’re aware of Yoongi releasing into you, can feel his come in you as he comes to a stop. He pulls your hips as close to his as he can, his hips spluttering as he gives a low and deep moan. Even when his movements completely still, he doesn’t draw out of you. His cock now soft inside you, you both remain where you are, trying to make the moment last as long as you can.

But it���s still too soon when Yoongi pulls out of you. He doesn’t remain on the bed, gets up and disappears somewhere while you collapse onto the bed.

His footsteps return seconds later and then something soft and damp is pressed between your legs. You quiver as it runs through your folds, sensitive to his touch even though he is being impossibly soft.

“When’s your flight?” His voice is as soft as his touch, no longer the dominating man but the sweet man you’ve always loved.

You roll onto your side to look at him when he’s finished cleaning you. He’s towering over you, his eyes much smaller than when he was pounding into you. You don’t know if the question is his way of asking you to leave, barely five minutes have passed since he was inside you and he already wants you gone.

“You’re right, I still need to pack.”

His face scrunches in confusion. You’ve not answered the question he’s asked and then his face relaxes slightly when he realises the question you’ve answered.

“I didn’t mean that. You can stay.”

An offer that is hard to refuse, another thing you want, to be held by him all night. But the sex was already too much, you shouldn’t stay any longer.

“My flights early, and like I said, I still need to pack,” the words feel like lead as they leave your mouth.

“Right,” voice flat, Yoongi looks away from you, but you catch the disappointment before he can hide it.

You push yourself up on heavy arms, unable to look at him as you walk back into the living room, back to the pile of clothes you left. Everything feels heavy, but you manage to pull the clothes back on even as everything in you is screaming to stay.

You hear Yoongi walk into the room before you see him and when you twist to look, he’s back in his comfy clothes. Your heart plumets, but you try not to cripple under the weight.

Silently you walk towards the front door, Yoongi’s steps echo behind you. You shouldn’t have come here tonight, the goodbye is way too hard, as if you’re losing him all over again. But still, you can’t seem to regret your decision, even if just for a few hours, it was worth it.

You open the door and only twist to look behind you when you’ve stepped out into the hallway. Yoongi’s face reflects how you feel, body slouched under an unseen weight, eyes swimming with emotion. At least you’re not the only one feeling like shit.

You take a deep breath unsure what to say. Thanks doesn’t really feel appropriate. But before you can say any idiotic words, Yoongi opens up his arms in a silent request. It’s so easy to slip into his embrace, so easy to wrap your arms around him and rest your cheek on the spot it always used to sit.

You stem the tears that threaten to spill as Yoongi presses his nose into your hair. The both of you stay like this, silent for a few minutes before Yoongi breaks it.

“If you’re ever in New York again.”

You understand the meaning and know that he also doesn’t mean he’d want to see you just for sex. Still, all you can manage is a nod.

He squeezes you tighter into him before releasing you.

Tears well in your eyes as you step away from him again. You don’t let them fall, bite the inside of your cheek to try and stem the emotions. Yoongi’s head tilts to the side as he looks at you. You can tell he wants to comfort you, that he wants to close the distance between the two of you again, but he’s holding himself back.

“I missed you too,” the raw emotion in his voice breaks you, a single tear falls down your face and you see Yoongi’s hand twitch with a need to wipe it away.

You take a deep breath, but are still unable to talk, can only nod at him.

A smile spreads on his lips as if he can see everything you want to say to him. It doesn’t feel enough, but you know you need to leave.

Neither of you say anything as you turn and start walking away. You can feel his eyes on your back as you walk away, don’t hear the door close until you round the corner. You don’t let the tears fully escape until you’re safely back in your hotel room.

[yokohamabeans]

TR 246: Kakucho Thoughts 

As a Kakucho fan, chapters like 246 are a godsend! Any new chapter with more insight to Kakucho’s character instantly becomes my new favourite one. I may be overthinking things / nitpicking too much, but here are some tiny things I got from 246!

1. Relationships with other Tenjiku/Rokuhara/Kanto members

The reactions shown from Kanto when “Takemichi punched the hell out of Kakucho!!” are of Ran, Mochi and Sanzu, which I’m taking to be who in Kanto are most impacted by Kakucho’s ‘loss’. I guess this clues us in a tiny bit more about his relationships with them. 

Nothing much more to say about Ran as it’s well known that he admires Kakucho (though I love the Ran-crumb of course). 

Sanzu has openly acknowledged Kakucho’s strength before, but his reaction being featured is more telling of his shock at Takemichi’s strength than his relation to Kakucho here.

The interesting part of this is that Mochi gets the feature over Rindou or Shion, which might mean that after Ran, Mochi is Kakucho’s second closest friend/gangmate. This is pretty plausible I think. Mochi’s gig is being a total muscle-powerhouse and he is especially eager to fight strong opponents, so he’s probably asked to spar and train with Kakucho a lot. Mochi also has a sense of honour in fighting, which Kakucho shares so they likely got along well (with Mucho too in Tenjiku). 

2. Kakucho’s Exclusivity in his Relationships

Bad sub-heading and even worse explanation below, but I can’t think of a better way to describe it now (it’s midnight where I am). 

Kakucho has twice told someone that they ‘don’t understand’ an aspect about a bond he shares with someone else: first to Takemichi about his loyalty to and history with Izana; second to Mikey about Takemichi’s effect on him and, by inference, their past as childhood friends. 

My interpretation: it feels exclusive. Kakucho’s really a ‘one-person’ kinda guy who reserves his loyalty and guards it, and he won’t let anyone else get in the way. It’ll take a lot (and what seems like a long time) for Kakucho to give anyone that kind of reverence, and it looks like shared experiences are one way to get into his books. 

I’m explaining this really lousily, but I guess what I wanted to say is that it seems the first step to gaining Kakucho’s trust and friendship is to ‘get’ him, and to directly reach out to him. (I.e. Takemichi saved him from the other brats; Izana took him under his wing)

3. “You’re Back!”

Not meta, just wanna appreciate Kakucho’s grin. It’s the first time he’s smiled since Izana’s death!!

And also: his ‘come!!’ hand gesture!! GAHHH!!! 😩

(Others - Mikey’s words to Kakucho) 

As Mina already pointed out, Mikey’s words to Kakucho in the original Japanese text is more callous than the fan-translation on Mangadex. He basically called Kakucho a ‘廃人’ which translates to ‘a cripple / disabled person’, but can also be a term to describe someone who is mentally a wreck / someone unable to function. Oof.

Also, this may just be me being biased, but I’m glad that Wakui didn’t throw Kakucho under a bus just to show off Takemichi’s renewed strength and determination. Tbh after reading 245, I was a little worried that Wakui would just have Takemichi knock Kakucho out and call it a day, and the 246-leaks looked Toman-centric too, so I’m really happy that the spotlight on Kakucho is continued and that he’s getting more development!