he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
this just in: danny fenton is just as much of a mask as Brucie Wayne? - another danyal al ghul au
Turns out, being placed in a civilian family who have no knowledge of your background is actually detrimental to the health and development of a child assassin due to lack of proper support! Surrounded by strangers in a foreign city, Danyal Al Ghul does as assassins do best. He hides. Espionage is one of many teachings one learns in the League, and it only takes half a day for Danyal to construct a new persona to hide behind: Daniel Fenton.
By the time dinner rolls around, Danyal al Ghul is safely and securely tucked behind the face of Danny Fenton; brand new adoptive child of the Fenton family who came from overseas. A shy, quiet little boy with a thick accent and curly hair, with brown skin and blue eyes, and an avid interest in the stars. The best fictions are always cobbled together in a little bit of truth, it's some of the only truth he ever lets through. He apologizes in a meek voice for his behavior early, he didn't mean to be rude, and he watches the three of them eat it up with coos.
Lies roll like silk against his lips, he struggles to meet their eyes and offers them his weakest, shyest smile. It's too easy. It's easy to go from there.
Danny Fenton, adoptive son, shy and awkward and unconfident but friendly. Who struggles in his classes and isn't the brightest, but tries his hardest. He makes bad jokes and has a quick tongue and a sarcastic mouth. He wants to be an astronaut. He's got the best aim in school, and is a terrifying dodgeball player. He's one of the least athletic kids in his grade.
It's like playing two truths and a lie, but there's only one truth, and the rest are lies. It's easy to pretend when he knows it's insincere.
Danyal Al Ghul, grandson to the Demon Head. Deadly, trained assassin. Has spilled blood, has had blood spilt from. Environmentalist, animal activist. He loves the stars. He owns a calligraphy set. A sharp tongue, an even sharper blade. He's clever, quick-witted, he would be top of his grade if he tried harder. He purposely doesn't.
He misses his family. He misses his mother, and he misses his brother. Mother visits a few times a year, so few times that he can count it on both hands. He cherishes every visit, as brief as they are. It helps remind him who he is.
Sam and Tucker are Danny's best friends. They've never met Danyal, but Danyal's met them.
It becomes routine to become Danny Fenton. As familiar and as easy as pulling on a shirt in the morning. Danyal wakes up and is always first to the bathroom in the mornings; stares at himself in the mirror until he can finally see Danny staring back at him. At night, he locks his door and sheds the mask.
Dying throws a wrench in his mask; splits a crack straight through the porcelain. He's able to smooth it over with sandpaper and liquid gold, but it's a little hard keeping his ghost form under wraps. It instinctively wants to shift to show his true self. Danyal can't have that, he's spent four years as Danny Fenton, he'll spend another four as him as well. Even if the feeling of the hazmat suit in his ghost form feels restrictive, like a too-small shirt suctioned to his skin that needs to be peeled off.
He'll live. Er-- well, you know what he means. It's frustrating however, trying to keep his Danny Fenton mask up even as Phantom - fighting in the air is something he needs to get used to, and the sudden propping of powers throws him off. But he is nothing if not adaptive, and he hates that he needs to slow his own skills down in order to keep pretenses up in front of Sam and Tucker.
The first time Danyal summons a sword when he's alone, is one of the few times Danyal gets to grin instead of Danny. He's fighting Skulker, and from an invisible hilt he draws a katana from thin air. It startles them both. Skulker takes a step back at the smile that spreads across his face.
They're both silent as Danyal examines his new sword.
"Do you know what people like me do to people like you, poacher?" Danyal finally asks him, the accent he began to hide a few months in slipping through. He drops all pretense, dragging the flat end of the blade slow and appreciatively against his palm. It's a good make, and when he cuts it through the air, it slices through like butter. He looks up at Skulker with a smile; "are you ready to find out?"
When Sam and Tucker ask about why Skulker seems so skittish around Danny now, Danny shrugs at them and says with a playful smile; "I don't know, I guess I kicked his butt too hard after our last fight." and he watches as Sam rolls her eyes exasperatedly, and Tucker snickers with his own joke.
By the time he reunites with Damian before their 15th birthday, Danyal is buried beneath so many layers of Danny Fenton that his brother will need a shovel to dig him out. He's not sure what he'll find.
Tired: Tav that’s good for Astarion cause they play therapist and give him support and space to heal
Wired: Tav that’s good for Astarion cause they’re such a disaster he has to get his shit together cause gods above one of them needs to be a functional adult
Thinking about how long both Stans were alone for. Stanley trying and failing to not be alone while Ford pushed everyone away. How everything would be different if they just always had each other. It all came to an end with Dipper and Mabel omg sedate me
Spring is here , the true beginning of the year , the season where my soul reborns and blooms .
I have made some progress in terms of the person I am becoming, truly in all my honesty all that i have done is to stop caring for everything that once used to matter , the less I care about anything in particular the less I am bothered and the happier i stay. And i really hope everyone here is doing well and I appreciate all the love that was sent.
The problem is I care a lot about everything and i don't even get the bare minimum in return and when i do get it it's too late, so much time has passed by then ,when it comes by then i do not want or need it because it's the not care that came out of love it came out of their guilts. And the longer i wait for it to come by -the more I learn why I don't need it anymore .
I am slowly learning to value myself ,trying to put myself in a position where I can agree that i too deserve all the good things and love even on the days when i have nothing to offer .
Idk guys I am just here to rant and to be stupid
Better late than never they say , I guess it's not too late for me either, I will start my life and live up to what I want & how I feel ,i don't have to care about anything else as long as I feel alive in my bones things will eventually flow, I will fall in love with myself little by little day after day.
I will choose myself instead of choosing others and I will fall in love with my solitude instead of bearing it with me , i don't care if I end up alone if I do end up all by myself I will be with someone who i know has a tendency not to give up .
Life is really short i just don't want to sit and watch it pass by , if I am lucky enough I will have 40 more springs to experience , I have clear boundaries and thoughts in my head now, eventually i will find peace through it I hope so.
Ramdan kareem to people who celebrate it here please remember gaza in your prayers and fastings
You know those video games where the character has to complete puzzles and work through their trauma to escape/wake up/something? Obstacles getting in their way and being tied to their past as they delve more into their trauma and have to learn/heal from it before they can progress?
Danny has been around a loooong time. He's old, he's powerful, and has a space in the ghost zone that he controls much like a god. The ghosts have long since started leaving him alone, the ones he's friends with have their own affaires to deal with, and in his ever shifting labyrinthian layer he's too powerful, and even outside of it he can still kick their asses.
and he's without a purpose
His friends had long since passed on after leading long and wonderful lives with him, not even leaving a ghost behind. His Family as well. Jazz had never had children, and try as he and Sam might have, half dead as he was he couldn't have children. He had no one left and nothing to do, and all of eternity to do it in.
Thinking of Jazz is what made him do it the first time
She loved helping people with her psychology, and Danny decided to do it in his own way. It hadn't been pretty, and it hadn't been easy, but he had found his method. Some took to it better than others, and many had different theories about his lair and his motives, but he helped people move past their trauma. Some believed his lair was some kind of purgatory, and... they weren't totally off
So, when Danny moved on to the timeline of the DC multiverse, he had some experience under his belt
He just underestimated how much trauma superheroes can have
I think if Mairon had to acknowledge exactly how fucking messed up he is because of Melkor and everything he did to survive Angband and what he built himself into during the First Age, I think he would-- well. I think he wouldn't, is the thing.
I think he can't allow himself to think about it too hard. What was it Charlie Vickers said about him still putting himself down through the rabbit hole-- he's been moving forward so long that he can't stop and look his own darkness in the eye. None of this can be about him, about fixing him. He utterly refuses the self-scrutiny. It has to be about fixing the world, about finding that perfect peace at any cost. I really don't think he thought about the elvish rings healing him. And actually I think if he put Nenya on and had a moment of-- idk, peace or healing or some distance from the scars Melkor left, I think it would be absolutely agonizing to him.
And you know, if he got to the end of his ruthless pursuit for perfect order and got everything he thinks he wants, I don't even know if he could look at the ruin of himself and what all the means have done to him in pursuit of an end.
I don't know that he could stop! He's been running so long!!!! I like to think that part of his refusal to plead with the Valar for pardon and mercy-- in addition to not wanting to be shamed and beholden to other people for the work of repair-- is that he can't listen when anyone says, you need to sit down and look at the trauma in you, it'll feel so bad, but you need to do it to really move past it, and then you'll need to see the steps you took in His shadow, as His shadow-- he can't, he can't, he doesn't want to, he won't, he'll keep running, there is no stopping--
gets on my knees please could we have any will solace angst hcs 🙏
cracks knuckles
it’s wild to me that will calls himself a killer, supposedly over losing patients. i’m sure that when he first started out as a field medic, it was plenty traumatic when patients died in his care, but calling himself a killer seems extreme. for this reason i think that this line refers to the trauma of emergency triage, which i had him address in my fic guilt
In general, i can think of few things more horrifying than a child surgeon. the kinds of injuries will tends to are nightmare fuel and he’s so young. i’m always thinking about how upset he is in this scene from tho:
in tsats will seemed to have a bit of an inferiority complex, like he always had to be proving himself to nico as useful. he had that nightmare where nico accused him of holding him back, and another where his father told him the only thing he was good for was being a “spare battery.” will’s self worth seems to be tied to his usefulness to other people, which is depressing as fuck.
not only does will have anxiety and fear about not measuring up, he tends to catastrophize when he perceives that he’s failed. after the scene with amphithemis when nico yells at him, he automatically jumps to the worst case scenario, which is nico not only breaking up with him but leaving him to die in the wretched wasteland of tartarus. my boy needs therapy bad
the amount of responsibility on his shoulders is immense, between leading the second largest cabin at camp half blood and running the infirmary, where he’s charged with saving lives. that’s too much for any one person, let alone a teenager, to handle
he was lonely growing up and had pretty much no friends his age. and he doesn’t really appear to have friends at camp either — i know fan works have cecil and lou ellen has his besties, but they were only in one scene together and will doesn’t talk about them at all in tsats. he doesn’t talk or even think about any friends at all, except kayla and austin, who are his siblings. i wonder if he’s just too busy to make friends or if he still feels alone.
his cabin lost two head counselors in as many years and when will had to take on the role, i wonder if he feared that he would be next, like a curse had been passed to him. because lee and michael died in such quick succession, i doubt they had time to teach will anything about how to run the cabin and he had to figure it out himself
i think will was probably fairly close to michael, considering it’s now canon that michael taught him field medicine. michael probably truly felt like a big brother to him, and will had to watch him die
will reacted so strongly to nico saying that nobody at camp half blood wanted him, it makes me think that that genuinely hurt his feelings. since it’s now canon that will and nico met during the events of titans curse, i wonder if will considered nico to be his friend and was worried about him when he disappeared. i wonder if he developed feelings and pined for nico before that point, and hearing nico say that he was going to leave because no one wanted him broke will’s heart