#i think i gained like 15 new followers?? like holy cOW

[investighost]

also im not sure where all the new followers have come from but thank you for following my boy!? i was a little surprised to have so many new followers but i am excited to interact with you all 🥰

[peppersonironi]

Batfam/Avengers Crossover Chapter One: Arrival

Yo, this has been on Ao3 for a while and people seem to really love it, So I thought I’d post it here! Chapter below the cut.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Category: Gen Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types Relationships: Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Natasha Romanov & Damian Wayne, Clint Barton & Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tim Drake & Duke Thomas, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Dick Grayson/Wally West, Roy Harper/Koriand'r/Jason Todd, Characters: Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Barbara Gordon, Justice League (DCU), Alfred Pennyworth, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Thor (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Peter Parker, Alfred the Cat (DCU), Bat-Cow (DCU), Goliath (DCU), Selina Kyle's Cat Isis, Kate Kane (DCU), Duke Thomas, Additional Tags: Batbrothers (DCU), Avengers Meet The Batfam, MCU/Batfam crossover, Crossover, no beta we die like robins, rated T for Jason's language, I bleeped it out though. Just to be safe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, canon? What's canon?, Deaf Clint Barton,Deaf Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Happy Batfamily (DCU), Birdflash and joyfire are implied/referenced,

Summary:

The Avengers find themselves in an alternate universe where none of them exist. Instead, there is a different group of heroes: The Justice League. They decide to work together to get the Avengers home. But not not everything is instantaneous, so the Avengers need a place to stay. The only place available is Wayne Manor.

Que Batfamily shenanigans!

Multi-chapter fanfic, with some one shots that go along with the plot thrown in.

Notes:

This is my first time writing anything with the Avengers - especially a deaf!clint - and the Batfam, so I apologize if anything is doc. Constructive criticism is appreciated!

This is mainly comic DCU with Movie Avengers (Set after the first avengers movie, plus Spiderman, cause I can ;-)

Crack! Bang! There was a flash of blindingly bright light, followed by a huge explosion.

"Wha- where are we?"

Tony Stark looked over to Peter who had been the first to speak. Crap, the kid had come here too. But wherever here was, he did not know.

Tony, Steve, Hulk, Thor, Clint, Peter, and Natasha stood in a loose clump at the center of a smoking crater. The sky was cloudy  and dark, and they appeared to be at least five miles outside of a big city, judging from the buildings in the distance. There was also a highway filled with streaming cars a couple of miles to Tony’s right.

“This isn’t right,” He muttered, opening his faceplate. Where were the sunny tropical trees that housed the compound of Anagnorisis - weird name, he knew - who was some D-list villain who thought some slightly advanced tech made them a world-conqueror. But Tony was beginning to think that those guns were a bit stranger and more advanced than he had previously believed.

“Tell me about it,” replied Steve. “Any idea where we are? Was it some sort of teleportation gun that was shot at us? This looks nothing like the Amazon.”

Before anyone could speak, Tony received a notification. Multiple incoming objects were approaching, fast . With the exception of the second fastest, they seemed to be airborne. “Multiple incomings, perhaps hostile. Most are flying. And they aren’t missiles. I think people ? But -”

“Who are you?”

Suddenly the first object arrived, and Stark was right. It was a black haired man in a blue skin tight suit with a red “S” on it and a flowing red cape. It would look ridiculous if he wasn’t glaring daggers at the group while flying .

He was joined almost immediately by another man, this time wearing an all red bodysuit with a lightning bolt on the chest and cowl. He was not flying though. He stopped in front of them swinging his arms as lightning dissipated. He had run there.

Next came a woman dressed in the colors of the american flag, with golden cuffs, tiara, and lasso by her side. She came with a man in a green, white, and black skin tight suit with some sort of symbol - perhaps a lantern? - on his chest. He also wore a green ring and black domino mask with white lenses on his face. They were both joined by another, a split second later. This was by far the strangest arrival. He was completely bald, with green skin and red eyes. He wore navy blue pants and cape, with only a red “X” over his chest. All three were floating.

“Who are you?” The blue and red man repeated.

Tony scoffed. Was this guy serious? “We’re the Avengers, obviously.”

The group shared a look. “Is that some new kind of villain group? I swear to all that is good and holy if I need to deal with another group who think they can rule the world, I. Will. Quit.” This time the man who spoke was the runner.

Steve replied, confusion clear on his face. “We’re not villains! We’re the Avengers; Earth’s mightiest heroes!”

Instead of coming to their senses, the strangely dressed newcomers laughed .

“You do realize you are speaking to members of the Justice League?” The woman spoke, her lips pursed.

“The who now?”

“Be quiet Kid, we don’t know what we’re dealing with.” Tony spoke to Peter. He was getting more worried by the second. Something was seriously wrong.

“Dealing with?” The green dressed man frowned, clearly suspicious of the Avengers. He started to fidget with his ring. “Well, since you don’t seem to know, let me enlighten you.” He gestured to each of his companions. “Superman, son of Krypton. Wonder Woman, Amazonian Princess. The Flash, fastest man alive. Martian Manhunter, well, a martian. And Me, Green Lantern. Member of the Green Lantern Core.”

Well, that explained everything. Not.

“We do not know you, strangers.” Thor spoke this time. “Perhaps you leave us be, our green friend over here gets frustrated easily.” He pointed to Hulk, who was breathing heavily.

The green man - martian, apparently - spoke for the first time. “Not until you tell us who you are and why you are in a smoking crater near His city.”

“His?” Clint clearly did not like the way the martian spoke of this character. To be honest, Stark didn’t either.

This got the most surprised reactions from the five. They looked at each other, and Tony could have sworn there was a hint of fear in their faces.

“Oh, He is so not going to like that.” Green Lantern said.

“Combined with the fact that we ditched Him.” The Flash cringed. Then looked worried again. “Yo, green grape, you okay.

The Hulk’s breathing was growing heavier, his face contorted into that of utter rage.

“Uh-oh,” Steve said.

“I . . . Not . . . GRAPE!” Hulk roared as he charged the The Flash who nimbly dodged. Superman went down to intercede, and just got punched by the Hulk. Though it did not seem to physically bother him, he was clearly angry.

Tony shut his face plate and moved forward, intending to stop the fight, but he only got attacked by the martian. Peter jumped forward to help, and soon everyone was fighting.

Thor was pitted against the Wonder Woman, and they seemed evenly matched. ��Black Widow was against The flash, and despite his incredible speed she seemed to be almost winning. Both Hawkeye and Captain America were battling Green Lantern.

No one seemed to have the upper hand, which worried Tony. These people were tough. If they couldn’t beat them . . . he didn’t know what would happen.

Peter didn’t seem to share his worry though. He instead seemed to be having fun. Tony could tell the kid was smiling beneath his mask, and his body language screamed hyper and happy. He seemed to get that way whenever they fought together, and a small part of Tony was filled with a sense of parental pride.

The fight seemed endless, no one gaining traction. Until something incredible happened. Thor threw Mjolnir directly at his opponent, and instead of being knocked down like everyone else, she caught the hammer. Every Avenger - even the Hulk - immediately froze, catching the attention of the newcomers.

“This is a very well crafted weapon, though a bit clunky,” Wonder Woman said as she tossed the hammer from one hand to the other. She paused, seeing their reactions.

“You are worthy.” Thor spoke with disbelief and a tint of resignation in his voice.

“Pardon?” Superman spoke, his frown apparent.

“Only those worthy can lift Mjolnir - my hammer. She clearly can, which means that you are trustworthy.”

*****

Five minutes of somewhat confused conversation later, they had reached an uneasy truce. Neither spoke much at first, but they soon began to compare notes. Apparently They both believed themselves to be the protectors of Earth, which brought on a bout of argument before Peter stepped in.

“Woah hold on, calm down. Something is clearly up, so there’s no need to argue!”

Wonder Woman looked contemplative. “How old are you boy, you seem young.”

Peter bristled. “I’m 15, and I’ve been a superhero for a while now, so I’m not inexperienced!”

Green Lantern laughed. “That’s not what she met, kid. We aren’t going to tell you how old you need to be to fight crime. The amount of we work with, and some even younger than you . . .” He shook his head and laughed. Then he realised how he had sounded. “I mean, we don’t force them, it's up to each individual to make that choice for themselves. Well, with the mentor’s approval of course.”

Natasha furrowed her brows. “How young are some of these kids?” Tony knew she had a thing against child soldiers, so he wasn’t surprised she was disapproving.

Green Lantern looks to the Flash. “How old is Robin at this point? 9?”

Flash laughed. “Naw, that little devil is 11. He was very adamant on that fact when he threatened me with his katana.” He shook his head.

Green Lantern laughed. “Yeah, most of the others are teenagers. Robin is the youngest, and I’d say most deadly, but Red Hood . . .”

“The Dark Knight really does have a problem,” Flash said.

His last comment made Green Lantern freeze. They both looked at each other then turned to Peter.

“Kid, stay away from The Dark Knight.” Green Lantern says.

“Yeah, if He sees you, there’s no way you’ll ever leave.”

“He’s the most dangerous man on earth,” Green Lantern adds.

“Guys, stop. You’re scaring him.” Superman looks disappointedly at the two heroes who Tony pegged as the trouble makers of the group. This idea was further cemented in Tony when they started laughing. Despite this, he decided to keep Peter as far away from this supposed Dark Knight as possible.

“Speak of the devil, he’s on his way.” Superman says this with a smile, then he cringes. “And we’re going to get an earful alright. Ten minutes ahead of him is a big deal apparently.”

In a moment. Tony got an alert that something was approaching. Fast. Soon he saw a large black military type armoured car fly down the highway from the city and off the road. It zoomed toward them.

It was a sight indeed to see the menacing black car swerve and expertly stop a few yards from the group. The top opened and a dark form shot straight up before landing in a kneeling position in front of them. The figure rose, and Tony got the first good look at him. He was a tall man with a broad chest and shoulders, dresses in complete black. There was a bat-like symbol on his chest, also in black. He wore a cape that flowed around menacingly. His face was covered by a cowl with pointed ears, like that of an owl, or perhaps a bat. The only part of his costume that was not black was the dark gold utility belt at his waist. Altogether, he was utterly frightening.

Tony took a step forward, effectively blocking Peter, who scoffed.

“Batman,” Superman said, a smile on his face.

Batman fixed the most impressive and terrifying glare upon the man that Stark had ever seen. “You broke protocol by going ahead of me. You are in my territory Superman. And you know that I cannot fly or run at the speed of sound.” He fixed his glare on the rest of his group who all reacted with either flinches or sheepish shrugs.

Batman grunted before looking at the Avengers. He sized each of them up, staying longest on Stark. Tony felt as if his entire being was being stripped away under the scrutiny.

“Alternate Dimension jumpers, not by choice I’m assuming.”

He spoke so simply that it took a minute for Tony to react. Even then, the man was already on his way back to his car.

“We’re near Gotham, let’s regroup at the Cave.”

Tony didn’t know what this Cave was, but he wasn’t sure he liked it. “Are you the Dark Knight?” He asked, before he lost his nerve.

The man looked immediately at the Flash and Green Lantern, who looked both scared and amused. Their sheepish smirks and chuckles dissipated when Batman looked away and back to Tony.

“The Dark Knight, The World’s Greatest Detective, The Caped Crusader, The Batman. All are titles I have earned. See you at the cave.”

And with that he hopped in his car and sped off back toward the gloomy city beyond.

[cricketnationrise]

March 2021 Reading Roundup

jan 2021 | feb 2021

quarantine reads

below the cut there be book thoughts

Come Tumbling Down by Seanan McGuire: book 5 in the wayward children series. characters from earlier books make a reappearance i am once again begging you to read them in order

Juice Like Wounds by Seanan McGuire: tor.com short story set between books 4 and 5 of the wayward children series

#Spring Love, #Pichal Pairi by Usman Malik: tor.com short story

The Ruin of a Rake by Cat Sebastian: book 3 of the Turners sereis, romance, sex on the page, can be read out of order

A Little Light Mischief by Cat Sebastian: novella in the turners series, set after book 3, helps to have read the others, but isn’t that important, single lesbian raising her child in secret while working for a wealthy family, falls in love with the daughter

Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett: book 14 in the discworld series, part of the witches strand of books, but technically you could read these in any order. i think it helps to start with the first book of the witches strand but thats just me, technically picks up after events of wyrd sisters and immediately after the plot of witches abroad

The Island by Ben Bender: book 1 of the comic “Beorn: The Littlest Viking Saga,” got it from kickstarter, art reminds me of calvin and hobbs, but basically this small viking child sails off to seek his fortune and finds an island

Theatre of Cruelty by Terry Pratchett: short story set in the discworld series between 14 and 15, part of the City Watch strand, free to read here

A History of Reading by Alberto Manguel: nonfiction, series of essays about books and reading and how trends around reading and writing evolved, kinda dry at times, but ultimately pretty interesting

Follow Me to Ground by Sue Rainsford: woof okay. so. its a novella, and its very dark, theres a father and his daughter living on the edge of town and most of the townspeople are scared of them because they don’t age and seem to be magic. hard to tell what time period this is supposed to be, but there are fairly modern cars. trigger warning for blood, sexual situations, eldritch stuff, buried alive, violence, mind control? sort of; im sure somewhere else has a better list of triggers, please do your research before reading especially if youre a sensitive reader.

Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein: ww2 novel told from 2 perspectives, a lot of it is epistolary, follows a pilot and a spy, time jumps, warnings for nazis/the holocaust and all that goes along with those, major character death

Magic Kingdom by ExtendedPlay: volume 2 of the webcomic Stuffed, also found here on webtoons

Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh: novella, mlm relationship, the forest as a character, wood nymphs, malevolent ghosts/fae/creatures, new historian moves to town and proceeds to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong and mess up local hermits life (all of that is a major oversimplification but it amuses me sooooo), book 1 in a duology

Sing, Unburied, Sing by Jesmyn Ward: novel following 3 narrators, a mother, her son, and the ghost of a young teenager that knew the son’s grandfather when they were both in jail, i would call this magical realism; warnings for racism, violence, murder, prison system, drug addiction, harm to children, acab, character death

Masquerade Season by ‘Pemi Aguda: tor.com short story, a young boy gains 3 spirits?? who follow him around and his mom starts trying to take advantage

A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik: book 1 in the scholomance series, dark fantasy, the characters are all magic teenagers with different specialties and trapped in a school in the void that appears to be trying to kill them, fast-paced, lots of snark, has that trope of oh i have no friends everyone hates me (except that they do have people who want to be their friend if they just looked up once in a while), felt a lot like hunger games in places; warnings for murder, death, violence, blood, teenagers, dark magical creatures trying to digest you slowly over decades (and other horrible things), very buffy vibes of “oh my town is a hellmouth”

The Stone Sky by N. K. Jemisin: book 3 in the broken earth trilogy. holy cow this series is amazing please read them in order, awesome worldbuilding, she definitely desrved the 3 hugos she won for each of these books; warnings for violence, major character death, body horror, mind control, the planet as a malevolent character bent on wiping out humanity, harm to children/teenagers, murder

Across the Grass Green Fields by Seanan McGuire: book 6 in the wayward children series, this one i think you only need to have read the first one before this, novella, portal fantasy, the world the protagonist enters is populated entirely by talking creatures except for a single human “hero” that stumbles into their midst once a generation or so, as always with seanan mcguire, all is not as it seems; warnings for harm to children, kidnapping, violence

[rwmhunt]

Leviticus, Chapter 23

1. Substitute day, and a return unto A sender of something, as to another place, That hasn't the wherewithal to get there either; I will open it again and learn That which is already known to be such As isn't so much.

2. And it's not mine, but a, And is the right way round. For as I set the seasons, I reprise, reply, replay; It's substitution day.

3. And Sabbath is the seventh, Whence the lord, in all thy dwellings, Is up for doing nothing; Or Sabbath is the sixth; I don't care.

4. And welcome to my channel, It's great to have each of you still with me- A man who speaks of people By their purpose, Himself as his own singer, With- such are the seasons, Even, holy convocations, For want to be sure of a constant, It's Senhal, An obscure term For an old friend.

5. Love, love, lo, this is not Of a cloven love, Leviticus, I will speak of it Unto sundry strangers and neighbours, As just one more month's dusk Then it'll be passover, Not once. Not twice, Not once. Love. So we can still imagine a time When all of this will go again;

6. But a day will approach When, if there is something That can look back, Could think that 'here' and 'then' Are really very close;- And I wonder if they saw The strings of direct attachment, Lining their behaviours; Just flour and water, But I don't think so; Still, anytime was closer to history than this one, So what do I know?

7. If I were to put the onus On to the impossible, Then what was light-hearted and playful, Would be wont to become ridden and surly; Lord, being an influencer is a serious endeavour, For how many unsuccessful oblations are there That are out there? Lo, state your appreciation; Don’t just wing it. Plan it out in kalends, Of which are reckon'd to be backwards; so, To start, do nothing.

8. After a week, Let's go- Gift your influencers' grift, For, when you so do this, It strokes the ego of the flames, Who then add unto the savour of sacrifice, Thus, get me it up; Make it smolder, Then, use its fatal nature To activate the future.

9. And simple: These are nacks, To muster control Over gods; Are junk and have been; That we all have interest vested- Let ignorance of it control Hereafter, same, so anon and amen.

10. Crowdsplain- First fruit the priest Hard and long, Find the tunnels, Writing what's impossible For the brain to conceive, That it may then be read back of, To supplant and supersede; So become possible.

11. And thither, the Wheatchief Will wave the sheaf Tomorrow- See how it goes? Ol' Cathode Ray, and Non-mathmatical aesthetic identities, The spirit of the radio take her.

12. That once the sheaf And all the while Be specific unto thy niche- Nativize unto thy platform, For, the experience shall follow The rhyzome's swerve and function, So that the user-expectation be wrought From whence the contents be placed- In this case, Add in a lamb shank ponzi scheme to my platform; Smells wonderful.

13. So unto the titular character, Exerting such low level leverage as Begetteth me of an ephah cake, And a quarter hin of wine; I don't need the free stuff, I am a successful influencer, But shouldst you want me to advertise for suckers On my platform that I have built myself for free; Well, we're all getting along so good.

14. Then it's me first, And simple: see- That our boldest endeavours, And most exciting adventures- They have not yet even begun; That, in spite of all the detritus, In the teeth of all that we've done, my boys, I tell you: The best Is yet To come.

15. Then, 49 days later, Seek whence Thought might come in sequence, And I'm really so blessed and thankful to you all for being here; So, as thought comes  in sequence And thus, it wasn't known where We are going here as we begun. O tensions, retensions- I use to used to run.

16.  Know, influencers, I am the hype; So on-brand that I can give unto you, And through you, the trick- Pyramid that still stands For the thousands- Round it up; So nice.

17. And, super relevant- Optimize continuously, also, Compensate me handsomely; while Sacrifice may seem like a quick-success marketing strategy, It isn’t so. Such are the things that keep not happening; More food please.

18. Lots more, This is why the burden of proof for rhetorical claim Shall falleth shortly As among the Open Wounde who should maketh of such a claim; It is not upon the world to provide him a fallacy, But he, who's to prove the world its truth; which, Across all channels, He, rerewise, hath been completely unable to do.

19. So suffer him his own precarity; And then some; Think back to when, Twirrup twipip,-pwiwip, Suwee, psu, swoo swsoo, So sweepeth they in song, As we, quiet, Through our blossom comedown, That hideth our tiny singers, And the bulgence behind the wiltage, In the verges, Be of burgeoning seed.

20. And everyone wave; All this- so good as is it to be; And though under a hail Of black tormentors, Our torment, And through its over-drone, With no one remembering it happening, But, who'll remember the photograph?

21. Sit back; You've lost everything, So lo, olah, you remember how mother died- Bringing cow parsley into the tent of meaning; For she went by the umbels as we'd walked on the plain, And they had reminded her of those lace cushions That her ladies-in-waiting had carried, And so gave them the name.

22. Embassadors, Leave thy corners to disillusion; A true influencer ideally keeps doing What they genuinely gain of a passion for. They know their value and their need is not to shew it, So spend a lot of time reading news and sharing opinions with others online. By buying-up dozens of potential plots, They help to plot the exodus to less, And stake an astronaut over the shape of a woman. But politics isn’t about the weird worship of one dude, So his words became their actions.

23.  Is it worth your time To try and ignore that, if, What you are listening to Is  the most effective form of advertising- A babbling of a technique That hath impostulated language, Then, should things go well, We may even be able to rend a cross-paracleation With phantom trust-collaborators, Interested in guest-posting for backlinks and exposure, Thus, marrying into micro-influencers, And so tap into our y.

24. But be consistent: For my favourite casts come out the same- Here, crowdplain how a seventh month is a Sound the trumpet month; See how it goes? Lo, but half of me struggles with the whimsy Of the other side that's yet so entranced; No, I'm not sure why, it's just the way I feel.

25. Down tools, more please. Gnaw your own head off. All things positivity- and It is always negotiation; Not: You bring it to the tabernacle, I sing- There is no shortness of spirit In opinion To be cut down. Equal positives, so unto Those things that keep not happening.

26. There are voices you hear of, As quoted as begetters of insightful opinion, Who art themselves never made extant, Being only reported hereto as sources, And lo, that they are the influencers. And I'm super curious as to know what you guys think; Please be sure to leave your comments amid the margins.

27. Thence, afflict thy souls, For, tis atonement day- We're ten into the seventh, And the snap's back when I was An offensive lineman, And the pass sent over- The big lie, long, long to the long deceiver, Ah, burnt offerings- How original, Best look unto the analytics, And if they give you not access there unto , Verily, you are going to have to fight, Fight as peaceful as Sheol, Down, deep down and dirty- I'm not going to call it off.

28. Down tools; Atone to the dial tone, No one calls; Let Ladder Capital Createth of the sponsored post- Like many on the medium, To use an ode- I used to play the role; To laugh and laugh; Laugh til I despised all there was to laugh at, And then I stopped, And in the silence, saw what I had done.

29. But laughing is not so bad.

We've been a good wee band. Yes we have. No one is coming after us. And if you're alright, mack, You'll get cut off.

30. So workers got destroyed That day, And Aaron was frustrated, And livid. Reach round; Feel thy spine. The way people stop you From being helpful When you are helpful, So that you cannot be helpful, So that they can cut you From your people.

31. Tardiness in perpetuity, Aye, today, it is Yplangenday- Well, I'll have to put myself Through some more adamantine Paces than god allows, else I'll never get enough done.

32. And be bold, For, you'll need to deracinate; Chancers are toxic vocations Within the tent of meaning; It's content; it's all content- Divide and game, so- Focus and grow. I mean to make sure That you are a consistent- Start of the ninth evening , End of the next.

33. God doesn't eat though, That I can see- For all that we give him, God doesn't eat.

34. Crowd, 15/7, and tabernacle feast week; Still his words became their actions, Shrill, until the doctrine of laches, When the searched-after Faithless elector went libertarian, Like many on the medium, Clade unto such bolled and novel obstacles What stretched where chance was slim, And slim was still in quarantine.

35. To start again, down tools, For, lo, if you want to be in a prison camp, You needst allow yourself the luxury Of being stupid enough to get captured.

36. Sacrifice? Spluttereth the LORD: But I'm fed up with so much burnt rubbish, I wish for forced fresh rhubarb, So shunt and jive; I've Optimized, and optimize continuously.

37. Drinks break; take life indicting, Gratify all at a local craven hire scheme, Go abroad singing, so merrylike, To slough off the whole As one enormous rhyzome. Deus Hic! God is drunk! I heard that, Brian Leg-Coverall.

38. O well done Jehus, And good to be with you, Yes you, Who are good in a crisis; A reminder- I'm working with mischief.

39. Wait, rest again, To live is to live through An embarrassment of times, Damarkated as meaningful riches, That will not be well remembered. Really, I am so blessed.

40. But try to ask of a question; So that thy congregation Might make communion in answer, See how it goes? Say, But why, isn't it A bit like palm sunday? The stream changeth its name As it passeth through each neighbourhood. I knew it as; Well it doesn't matter- You're not reposting, nor liking my banal repartee, So, unfollow.

41. And it goes; for I have giv'n unto them a scapegoat, But they cast it not out; So shall there be a reaving that will follow, and Themselves, they shall be cut off from.

42. Then all ye home-born booth dwellers In dwelling booths, Shall dwell in booths seven days and know That you are living in the rhyzome..

43. And everyone will know that I made you do this- The old booth dwellers, needing my rescue out of Egypt, So weakened,  the Open Wounde stayeth open; And remember to tell us what you think, Way down, deep down, down in the margins.

44. And Mose went about with the crowdsplaining Old loud-haler; A simple fellow out of storybook glen, From the tent of meaning, From the twilight men, He ran and told- And the thing is, They were too clever To not know what they were doing- So the target becomes bios; Is the common psychle, The answer- How would you like it? Is - 'I didn't'. And that therein has a hold and salience, As before tends to be the best time to regret- It is a kind of nonsense. I'm so merry

I'm so merry and sad.

[amnachil]

The High School Game Part 15

Hi everyone ! I know the story is kinda long and it’s hard to follow... But I want to post it until the end anyway x) Don’t worry, we already exceeded the halfway point !

Gregory DAY 109 Saturday

Exceptionnally, Finn organized a party depiste not being an after-match saturday. The dark-haired boy went his head full of expectation. The 3rd week of January ended and depiste some setback, his plans were working well. His own popularity started to rise again. They all had forgotten his dramatic "perverse" attitude, from now on, and with his new behavior he attracted sympathy. Plus, with his bulk-up, he would soon be better than Raphaël, and took his place. By the way, Gregory had found a new partner in crime : Kim. They had been talking lengthily. The girl had been expelled from her last school because she had insulted and assaulted physically a schoolmate. But she had big expectations for her new high school. Raphaël and Shirley were exactly the kind of people she hated. She planned to humiliate them, one after another, with his help. And Gregory was happy to help, of course. Plus, tonight, she prepared something for another bitch he hated. But right now, the lad was eating joyfully at the buffet with Sam. Shirley's boyfriend, despite being the fatty, was quite popular among the 11th grade. Several student still respected the ex-right arm of Raphaël. Gregory hated Shirley, but he learnt to appreciate Sam. His advice were usefull, after all. And while he’s with me, he isn’t with his fucking girlfriend. She was not here, by the way, and Sam told Gregory she was busy, without details.

"Jeez, it was a good meal." whispered the fatty while patting his belly.

Gregory looked at him with a glint a challenge.

"Are you seriously stuffed ? I can eat at least a whole pizza by myself because of my bulk-up."

Sam smiled.

"Do you imply you can eat more than me ? Man, you already tried to overfeed me, and you never succeed."

"We'll see."

I know I’ll not gain weight, by the way, while you will balloon even more... Stupid cow. They both dug in wishing to win this food contest. Gregory took a slice of pizza, then a can of beer, and then a slice of pizza. He repeated the little game several time, only taking break to belch loudly and evacuate the air. After a while, feeling bloated, he discreetly unbuttoned his belt and jeans in order to let his expanding belly breathe. Sam smiled while swallowing a big slice of pizza.

"Are you stuffed little boy ? I'm only starting, you know ?"

Liar. His opponent's paunch was bloated, hard, and pushing against his shirt, and he rubbed it with his free hand. Gregory took a can of beer, and gulped.

"I'm, buuurrp, not finished yet. Burp. You'll be.. buuuurrp, surprised."

He began again to stuff his face. He could feel his shirt button having an hard time holding the pressure, but did not care. He ate again a whole pizza, while drinking beer. Sam was right on his heels, but he did not care. He swallowed again a slice, burping loudly. I can't lose this again. No way. He rushed another pizza and polished it as fast as possible. He bloated belly was heavy now. He had some difficulties to walk, but he did not care. Eat was his only aim. After a while, he took a break and sighed, overstuffed. His belly gurgled, in pain, and he rubbed it slowly. Woah... However, Sam smiled, himself rounder and bigger, but still eating.

"Do you give up ?" he asked.

"Nah... buuuuurp... I know I can.... buuuuurp.... eat more."

His opponent pushed a big container towards him.

"This is chocolat mousse. Easy to eat. Let's see if you can do this."

Gregory nodded, took a big spoon and swallowed. Wow, this is tasty... Slowly, under Sam eyes, he ate spoon after spoon. His belly, gurgling, was pushing against his shirt. Oooh. Sometimes, he drank another beer and burped. After a long time, he succeeded to finish the container. He was so stuffed he could barely move, and certainly not get up. His both hands rubbing his belly, he closed his eyes, be prey to a succession of belch. He was near to a food-coma, and unable to speak. Did I won ?

"I think, burp, you did a good job." whispered Sam. "But I'm, brup, still better. Maybe you should try, burp, again later."

A clamor woke Gregory up. His friend were gathered in Finn's garden, and laughing. What’s happening ? Slowly, he stood up. Wow... He felt his belly, still complety bloated, heavier than usual. Sam was sleeping on a chair next to him, but he ignored him. Groggy, he headed towards the gathering. He glimpsed Raphaël, sat on a corner, his legs spreaded while speaking with Liam. Otherwise, the room was wasteland : they all were in the garden. Gregory arrived and watched what triggered this laughs. Barbara, the class delegate he hated, was in the pool, half-naked, trying to wash the vomit covering her hairs and clothes. Kim, apparently drunk, was yelling :

"I'm sorry ! So sorry ! Please, let me help you !"

She dived into the water and reached their schoolmate while screaming like a pig. My god, she's so funny. I love her. Finn gave him a beer and laughed :

"She's awesome ! Just watch her Gerg !"

The supporting striker agreed. He took a mouthful of his can and laughed when Kim, pretending to help Barbara, took this one pants off. The class delegate shouted :

"Stop it ! Stop it ! You're drunk ! Let me alone !"

Holy shit... They all were in stitches. Kim threw up her diner on Barbara, who screamed with horror. My fuckin' god ! Barbara headed towards the edge and got out of the pool, only with her lingeries, soaked. Kim yelled :

"I'm sorry ! Really sorry ! Can I help you ?"

"Hell no ! You did enough !" retorted the class delegate.

She looked for Jessy, but Liam's girlfriend was too busy laughing to help her. Consequently, Barbara left them running towards the exit. Gregory drank the rest of his can, patted his still bloated belly with satisfaction, and came near to the edge. Kim smiled. He loved this. She was ready to humiliate herself in order to beat her opponent. And she was perfectly serving his interest by doing so.

"Did you liked this ?" she asked, not in the least drunk.

He opened his mouth and belched loudly.

"Yeah, I kinda liked, buuuuurp. You know what ? I think you're my favourite... buuuurp... evil girl."

I need another beer, by the way. She smiled spitefully.

"I guess you're me favourite burping man. Did someone already tell you that you were good at belching ?"

Again, he burped loudly, and shook his head. Except you of course, because you already understood I'm the best for everything.

Liam DAY 111 Monday

Last monday of January came with a good new : snow. The entire town was under a covering of snow. Cool ! This morning, Liam woke up earlier, excited like a kid, and rushed outside in pajamas despite the cold. He ran in circle during at least 5 minutes, before his sister shouted :

"Brother ! Come here before getting sick !"

"Chloe ! It's snow !!!"

"Yeah, I saw !"

He made a snowball, and watched her with a smile. (Okay, he maybe grew in height, but his mind was still 10 years old). She screamed when he threw his missile.

"Seriously ?!"

Liam nodded. Suddenly, he glimpsed Raphaël, in sportwear, running next to them. Hum... This was a terrible idea. A bad idea. But boy with a 10 years old maturity would probably do it. However, he did not have time to attack, because a big and soft snowball hit him in the belly. His captain smirked.

"I know what you were thinking, dude."

" How ?"

Raphaël smiled, but Chloe, who took his winter jacket and was now making a snowball, answered :

"You did the same thing last year brother. And the year before. I think we are used to it, now."

"Remember, do not hit under the belt." ordered Raphaël.

Liam spirit was suddenly excited like for christmas. Oh yeah ! He rushed a tree to hide and collect his munitions. This is the best day of my life ! (Okay, not the best, but as every 10 years old kid, every day was the best day of his life). Anyway, it was time to win a battle.

Latter, during the afternoon break, Liam sneezed. I think I caught a cold... Obviously, playing in the snow in pajamas was probably the cause, but he had a lot of fun, and it was worthy. The goalkeeper ate slowly his donut (this donut was supposed to be eaten by Jessy, but whatever) and sighed. With the snow, the heated spirits were gone, and everyone just enjoyed the day, without any complaint. Raphaël, sat on the bench, stared at him and frowned.

"Why aren’t you with Jessy, by the way ?"

"She is comforting Barbara... They decided to stay together today, even if my love didn’t help our delegate during the party... I wonder if Kim apologised."

"Probably..." replied softly Raphaël. "Are you bulking-up, or somethin' ?"

Liam turned his head towards his friend, surprised.

"No. Why ?"

"Well, you just eat more than before, but it's not a big deal I guess."

Oh... well... this food is supposed to feed Jessy... To be honest, Jessy ate enough by herself, and she was gaining weight by being lazy and gourmand. However, Liam did not realized he was becoming like her.

"Do you fear I gain weight ?" he asked prudently.

He knew his captain was a sport addict. Workout was his religion. And Liam feared his judgment. (Not only his judgment, by the way...).

"Absolutely not." replied Raphaël with a smile. "Firstly, you just did a growth spurt, and your weight have to catch up. Secondly, you have a fast metabolism to help you, and I'm sure indulging a little is not a big deal. Thirdly, you're our goalkeeper, not our supporting striker. You could have some meat on your bones you know, we're not playing at national level."

Liam nodded silently. This reaction was unexpected. Raphaël noticed, because he laughed.

"Being a workout passionate don't mean I will oblige my friends to do the same, you know ? As much as you respect the rules, I'm fine with you."

The rules. The team captain often spoke about the rules. However, the goalkeeper was not sure to understand well.

"Well, you gave up Sam because he was not respecting the rules, so ? I thought it was because he became fat."

"That's funny, because I never gave up Sam. He left by himself, convinced I would abandon him, but I never intended to. As far as you're conforming to the rules Liam, I have nothing against you. Sam could be a little overweight, I did not care until he decided to encourage this way of life. He became a deviant. Do you get it ?"

"Not really, but don't worry. I'm not becoming fat, and I'm not a chubby chaser."

(A little lie from time to time was not serious... Okay, it was serious, but Liam refused to lost Raphaël's friendship only because they had a different point of view).

His captain nodded, and they went to the class, as close as ever.

Shirley DAY 113 Wednesday – 114 Thursday

This evening, the girl sat nervously on the couch. She was alone, for now, and stressed. According to her mother, Dan would be back today, only for the night. He had been sleeping at a friend's flat, still according to her. Tonight, I will apologise... Shirley did not see him since their argument, and each day, she felt more pathetic. Plus, she tried to offer Kilian some food, and help for his homework, but he always declined. Sam supported her in this initiative, but still, their schoolmate was too afraid about his family's reaction. She heard the door opening. Dan was there. Quite stressed, she waited him. Her brother dressed with a black jeans and a tigh white shirt (the buttons were compressing his belly), looked at her. He is mad...

"Hi brother. I waited you to talk." she hesitantly said.

He ignored her, put his bag on the floor and then opened the cookie box (they had a cookie box in the living room). While eating, he turned towards her. He knew I was here... Mum likely told him before going at the restaurant.

"I'm sorry." she proclaimed. "I was selfish and blind. I did not understand your feelings. But I do now, and I want to help you with all this stuff."

"Do you know what is an erogenous zone ? And how it could be weak with some people ?"

"What do you mean ?"

He was eating a cookie, patting peacefully his belly, but his tone was cold. And she glimpsed a glint of rancor in his eyes.

"You want to help me ? Apologise to Raphaël for everything you did."

"What Raphaël is doing in this stuff ? Who care about him ?"

"I do. I knew you disliked him, but I did not expected you would kick him in the balls and then punch him like a barbarian !"

Shirley did not understand. She felt her rancor against the devil growing inside. Jeezus, I need to control myself. Dan is my brother, not one of his minions... And Kilian told me Raphaël did something good for him.

"Look, I don't really get it, but I think he lied to you and told some bullshits about me. I just want to help you. I'm not a bad sister."

"Can you, for once, stop thinking only about you ? You said you're selfish, and again, you proved this. I'm just asking you to apologise."

This is the best. She skipped the restaurant in order to make up with him, and he came here, insulting her and speaking about the devil ?

"I will not apologise to him, brother. He lied to you, I swear. Yes, I kicked him, but it was not that violent or..."

"Shut the fuck up Shirley. You're a fucking disappointment. I thought we were inseparable, but it seems I was wrong. You only think about your person, and you don't care about the other, including me."

"That's a lie !" she shouted. "How can I prove you I'm not selfish ? You're just blinkered ! How can I convince you ?"

"Not by yelling on me." he whispered before taking his bag.

He went upstairs, leaving her alone and tembling. How the fuck it degenerated like this ?

The next morning, when she woke up for her daily workout, Dan was already gone. Her mother told her he was not coming back for a while, feeling uncomfortable here. The most ironic ? Mr and Ms Vince, as her twins sisters all accepted kindly Dan's coming out. I'm the only one being so selfish. She felt even more pathetic. But, in order to do the right thing, she could not feel demoralized. Sam was busy with Gregory, trying to fatten this asshole. And by the way, it was slowly working. His high consumption of energy drinks and beer made his belly slightly round the whole day. Sadly, it was hard to say if he was gaining weight or only bloated. Anyway, Sam was working on it, and she was useless, Gregory hating her. She decided to focus on another problem. Raphaël being out of range, and Barbara too cautious since the last party, Shirley tried to help Kilian. But today, she needed to shift into high gear. She did her workout, showered, and then left the house. In 15 minutes, she reached her schoolmate's home (being the only De Beauchêne in town, it was easy to find him). Feeling brave for once, she knocked. A giant opened. Kilian's father was really tall (like 200 cm) and Shirley needed to look up in order to see his face. Futhermore, he was quite muscled, and she gulped, suddenly less brave. Behind him, two guys exactly like him, tall and impressive, stared at her. Holy shit... I start to understand... In comparison, Kilian was like a tiny little kid.

"Who are you ?" asked Mr. De Beauchêne with a booming voice.

Oh wow... Maybe this was not a really good idea after all...

"I'm Kilian's friend, and I went to pick him up." she eventually say timidly.

The father scrutinized her like if she was for sale. The tow brothers were smiling maliciously, and she seriously considered running (despite their physics, at least she was pretty sure to win a race).

"Have you a boyfriend ?" asked Mr. De Beauchêne suddenly.

She nodded, and the atmosphere relaxed a bit. Kilian was serious, about this anti-gay and lesbian stuff. His schoolmate showed up, and stared at her with a glint saying "you're mad Shirley" in his eyes. I'm here now, so please, come. Slowly, he came closer.

"She pretended to be your friend." proclaimed his father. "Is that true ?"

Kilian nodded carefully. Then, he went in the street and intimated her to follow. She felt Mr. De Beauchêne and his sons staring at them until they disapeared behind a house. At this moment, Kilian sighed loudly.

"I did not know you wanted to die, Shirley." he whispered.

She smiled. I'm not committing suicide. I'm proving to myself I'm not selfish. They went to Ms. Liliano's bakery (where she glimpsed Gregory buying his donuts, just before they entered).

"Choose somethin', I will buy it." she said.

Kilian stared at her, amazed.

"You sure ?"

"Well, I did this for Sam before he decided to buy it by himself because I was not providing enough, so yes, I'm sure. I guess you have no breakfast, and everyone need a breakfast."

He smiled like a kid. Behind the plaster, his black eye (apparently, his brothers made sure he always had one) and his hood, she glimpsed his cute face. The face of an happy man. And this was all she wanted right now. Someone happy and thanksful.

Gregory DAY 116 Saturday

"Come on, it's like protein shake you know ?"

The lad watched the mixture with reluctance. I don't know, I already ate a lot and drank a lot too... He patted his bloated belly, convinced he had already enough energy. But Kim, who offered him this mixture, was insistent.

"You know, it's not a drug or something. It's a protein mixture, in order to have a good condition during your match. Don't be silly, for god sake."

"Are you sure it will work ?"

"Sure. And no one need to know. You and me, that's all. You said you wanted to surpass Raphaël, don't you ?"

Well... I guess I can take it, after all. He prudently took the mixture, and injected it himself. He felt his whole body shaking when his musled recieved the excess of energy. Kim smiled, satisfied :

"Are you ready to win like a superstar ?"

"Hell yes !"

They suddenly heard clapping. Surprised, Gregory tunerd towards the sound : it was Jessy, proudly holding her phone.

"I wonder what I will do with those photo..." she laughed. "I bet Raphaël will expell you from the team."

Gregory rushed her and stood in front of her, menacing.

"You'll not do that, fucking bitch."

"Why not ?" she asked.

This asshole. Fucking slut. Come on, we already humiliated you...Do you really want to do this again ?

"Barbara will be pleased to finally punish you Kim. She did not like you, in case you care."

The chubby girl smiled.

"Neither do I, little girl. But I know you will ask something for yourself before all."

Gregory gave her a dirty look. No way. We don't negociate with this bitch. She's a fucking defeated slut.

"Delete those photo, Jessy, or I will." he threatened.

She stared at him, smiling.

"You'll not. Because you're a coward Greg." she looked at Kim. "I want your help for a plan I made."

"Why on Earth do you think I will agreed ?" asked the chubby girl.

Did they are negociating ? We don't negociate. Fuck off. Fuck off. Gregory tried to took her phone, but Jessy moved backwards easily.

"Come on Kim. You're a nuisance. I'm a nuisance. We can do something big together. But firstly, you should join the team Gregory, I heard the signal of the beginning of the match."

The lad hesitated. Fuck you. Both of you. I'm trapped now... He left them, enraged, and ran towards the field.

Embolden by the mixture, Gregory did quite a good match. He scored two time, as much as Raphaël, and their team won 4-1. However, he was worried about Jessy and Kim alliance. They were both fucking bitches, and he feared a noxious plan. During the party Finn organized for the after match, he felt a little paranoid. Plus, his body quivered, demanding more energy than usual to hold on his feet. Jeezus, I consumed more than I expected during this match. The montlhy check-up was Monday, and he was convinced he gained a lot of muscle mass. But right now, he needed some supply. Drinking beer after beer, he was constantly eating, until 3:00. Then, he left the party bloated, feeling heavy and sick. Holy shit, what is happening to me ? His belly was gurgling in pain, and he had some difficulties to walk. Moreover, he felt exhausted despite his stuffing session. Slowly, he headed towards his house, but did not reached it. Groggy, he fell onto the sidewalk. What is happening ? My stomach hurt so much... He vomited without even noticed. His whole body shivered. I need help. His thoughts was clouded. He never ate and drank that much. And he never consumed a mixture like Kim's one before. His hands tried, with much effort, to rub his distended tummy. Around him, there was nothing. The city block was sleeping. In a food-coma, drowsy, he tried to get up, but failed. It hurt. Please, help me. He cried, like a stupid kid, afraid. He was alone, in pain, and nobody would help him. He fell asleep, despite the pain. The only thing he heard was Raphaël cold tone, telling him how much this mixture was harmful for his body. And then, he reached the realm of the dreams.

To be continued

Gregory met the badest girl of them all... Where it will lead ? In the same time, Shirley is struggling with Kilian (I like this kiddo) and Dan... At least there is Liam, without any problem, who help us to understand a bit more Raphaël. I think I love them both ! :) See you soon (I hope) for the next part !

[thecollegefootballguy]

2017 Top Games of the Week Recap: Week 11

Week 11 was pretty much everything I wanted it to be. It had big games, big upsets, and the Playoff picture getting a bit clearer. Let’s assess the damage.

Top Ten Games of the Week

10. #19 Washington State 33-Utah 25

SEVEN Utah turnover helped Washington State eke out a win in Salt Lake City. The Cougars got lucky, but that luck is keeping them in the PAC-12 North race.

9. Georgia Tech 28-#17 Virginia Tech 22

Ah yes, this feels much more ACC Coastal than what we had before. A clear #1 and #2 just doesn’t fit this division. Oh yeah, and GT’s go ahead touchdown was on an 80 yard pass play. Very triple option.

8. #15 Oklahoma State 49-#21 Iowa State 42

Well Cyclones, it was a good run. It was your run of the mill, high scoring Big 12 affair. I have to admit I’m a bit disappointed. I think it would have been cool to see Iowa State beat the three best teams in the conference.

7. #8 Wisconsin 38-#20 Iowa 14

Iowa’s only touchdowns came on pick-sixes. Wisconsin allowed the Hawkeyes to gain 66 yards. The Badgers walloped Iowa worse than Iowa walloped Ohio State last week. Via the transitive property, I think we can safely award Wisconsin the Big Ten title already.

6. Stanford 30-#9 Washington 22

PAC-12 After Dark strikes again. Stanford didn’t do much of anything special, they just did everything well enough to slow down Washington. Bryce Love gashed the Huskies defense more than any other RB has so far, but that was pretty much expected. With Washington’s second loss, it’s pretty fair to say that the PAC-12 as a league is out of the Playoff race.

5. #13 Ohio State 48-#12 Michigan State 3

Too bad Ohio State won’t make the Playoff, at their best they’d win the thing.

4. #2 Alabama 31-#16 Mississippi State 24

A perfect final drive helped Alabama avoid an upset on the road to Mississippi State. The Crimson Tide are back on top of the SEC. Undisputed.

3. #7 Miami FL 41-#3 Notre Dame 8

Holy cow. I know there was some turnover help, but this game was basically decided by halftime. I know a lot of people are saying Miami is back, and maybe some of them are joking the way we made jokes about Texas being back, but this sure looks like a BACK kind of statement game.

2. #5 Oklahoma 38-#6 TCU 20

Oklahoma very carefully picked apart TCU in workmanlike fashion. The Sooners have been playing their best football against good opponents. I anticipate them making the Big 12 Championship, bringing them to the precipice of the Playoff, with everything depending on the new Championship Game. 

1. #10 Auburn 40-#1 Georgia 17

I thought Auburn had a decent chance at winning but wow. The Tigers totally took it to their little brother. It was close for a while but things got out of hand in the third quarter and the rout was on. Georgia is still in line for the SEC Championship Game, and they might even get a rematch.

-

5 Group of 5 Games of the Week

2. Navy 43-SMU 40

Navy raced out to a big lead and then held SMU off as the Mustangs put on a furious comeback attempt. The Midshipmen likely won’t make the AAC title game, but they have had a successful season so far.

1. Ohio 38-Toledo 10

This was very surprising. If you follow the MAC you know that Toledo never gets bodied like this, let alone by Ohio. The Bobcats most likely have the MAC East wrapped up. A rematch is a definite possibility.

-

FCS Games of the Week

3. #6 South Dakota State 27-#17 Illinois State 24 (OT)

The Jackrabbits scraped by Illinois State in overtime, further solidifying their first round bye in the FCS Playoff. 

2. #18 New Hampshire 16-#7 Elon 6

Elon’s ridiculous single score win streak ends.

1. #5 North Dakota State 49-#10 South Dakota 14

Yeah that seems about right. North Dakota State haven’t lost back to back games since 2009.

[mitchbeck]

CANTLON'S CORNER: WAYNE BABYCH RETURNS TO HARTFORD

BY: Gerry Cantlon, Howlings HARTFORD, CT - Every July over the last three years, the Babych brothers, Dave and Wayne, make a pilgrimage from Canada to Hartford, CT to share and enjoy the Whalers alumni weekend with the Hartford Yard Goats. The two played briefly together in Hartford, an experience that Wayne treasures greatly. “It was short, but such a pleasure for us,“ Wayne, with his trademark big smile, said. “We hadn’t played together since we were eight-years-old together and there is a two-year difference. It was clearly one of the highlights of my career. To play again with Emile Francis, who I was with in St. Louis, he put together a real good crew and made it a lot of fun a very special place as far I was concerned." For Babych, his connection with the fans was so important. “I always love to play for the fans. You really feed off them as a player. My time in Hartford I saw both ends of it. When I was traded from Quebec, the Nordiques were in first place, and the Whalers were in last place the year before. So, it was a tough adjustment, but the following season was one of my best as a pro. That’s why I come back. I really love to talk to people, hear their stories of what the Whalers meant to them. The folks here (the Yard Goats) are doing everything first class. I can’t thank them enough. We'll be back next year.” The 1985-86 season was the high watermark in the NHL portion of the Whalers life. Babych would gain a measure of revenge against Quebec when they swept the first place Nordiques in three straight - a team many felt that year would be a Stanley Cup Finalist. Babych enjoyed his time in the majestic Quebec City and playing at the now-closed Le Colisee for an all too brief 15 games. “I was on a line with the Dale Hunter, and Michel Goulet. We really worked well together and were a solid second scoring line behind the Stastny’s (Anton, and Peter) and Peter was simply among the best players in that generation. It was great to have played with a guy like that. Then to go to the Whalers, I admit I was a little skeptical at first, I didn’t like the trade.” He was dealt to Hartford for Greg Malone. He posted 28 points in 37 games for the Whalers. The Whalers played the behemoth Montreal Canadiens, the royalty of the NHL who featured Larry Robinson, Patrick Roy, and Bob Gainey in the second round. The Whalers won Game Six in dramatic fashion when Kevin Dineen (who was just hired to be the head coach for the AHL San Diego Gulls) got around Robinson off the left-wing and slipped the game’s only goal past Roy to force a Game 7. “We weren’t the biggest, fastest or strongest team, but we jelled over the last twenty games of the regular season and we battled right to the end of the series. Those two series are clearly among the highlights of my career. The reception we got back in Hartford was amazing (the parade). It was like we had won the Stanley Cup. There was so much pride in the team that spring, in Hartford. It was pretty special.” In Game 7, Roy was his usual stingy self in goal and then-rookie, Claude Lemieux, tallied a goal at 6:65 of overtime to end the Whalers' dream. “That was such a great series and easily the toughest loss you can suffer…Game 7 and Hartford was electric. Then everybody was talking Whalers hockey and game night you felt the real energy. "I always wonder had we won that series, I really believe we would have gone to the Finals. Beating that Canadiens would have been a rocket booster for us. We had really jelled as a team, and we had a lot of the right pieces that year,” Babych said. He had suffered an injury that altered his career in training camp in a game in Quebec City. A strong, two-handed but clean hit from behind to his right knee that he received from one of the Nordiques ruffians, Ken McRae, leveled him. To this day it still isn’t the same. “I played physical. It was part of my game, but he took exception to it then nailed me with a two-hander. I never saw it coming.” Babych lost all feeling to his knee and underwent a mid-1980’s style reconstructive knee surgery. “The techniques were nothing like they are today if I had the surgery today I could’ve come back for a few more years. They were using different body parts and everything to put it back together,” Babych joked. “When I went to a disability exam in California when they looked at my knee on MRI’s and x-rays, they laughed at me and said, 'Holy cow,' and asked, 'How are you still even walking?' It came at a really bad time because we were talking to Mr. Francis on a longer-term deal. I wanted to stay here. Of course, my brother was here and I really liked that group. It's one of the reasons we come back. I had so many fond memories.” Babych eventually sued McRae. The case was settled out of court, but as the saying goes, the damage was done. The end of his Whaler and NHL career was neither smooth or graceful. After returning from surgery he played four games, a three-in-three at home, then Pittsburgh, and Babych knew there was a problem. “I skated up to my brother during the game and said, 'Dave, I don’t think I can do this anymore.' The pain, I knew my skating was way off. When you have no feeling in your knee and parts of your leg makes it very difficult to play hockey. “ He was assigned to their AHL affiliate in Binghamton, but he refused the assignment and was suspended by the team. “A lot of people at the time thought I quit or was angling for a trade, that wasn’t the case. Even after the surgery, nothing felt right. I did go to Binghamton, put up some points (seven in six games), but I was nowhere near 100%. I tried to come back in the next training camp, but it was still very difficult. Several ice bags after a game, the pain was still there, and the loss of feeling around the knee was still there and still is.” At that point, Babych, like ex-Wolf Pack’s Stefan Cherneski, fulfilled the insurance requirements and retired with his disability claim The Babychs are a part of a rare fraternity of brothers to have played in Hartford. Just seven pairs have done so with the WHA or NHL editions of the team. The others included, among the first Europeans to come over to play hockey in North America, in goalie Christer and defenseman Thommy Abrahamsson (Thommy played half-a-season with the NHL Whalers in 1980-81), Jack “Killer” Carlson and Steve Carson (WHA only) who were the inspiration for the Hanson brother characters in Slapshot. Doug Roberts played just two seasons, both with his brothers, Gordie who played four WHA Whalers seasons. Gordie Roberts would skate just a season and a half years with the NHL squad before being traded. Mark and Marty Howe, of course, played in NHL and WHA along with their late great father Gordie. Tim and Neil Sheehy with Tim playing with the WHA team from 1972-1975 and in 1977-78 ) and 15 games with the Whalers in their first season. Brother Neil who famously wore 0 as a uniform number (the only player in NHL history to do so) for his 26 games with the 1985-‘86 Whalers. There were also the Wesley brothers, Blake Wesley (1981-82) and Glen (1994-1997) skated for the Whalers and Glen’s son, Josh, skated for the Wolf Pack last spring appearing in 15 games. The last of the brothers' crew was the Brownschidle’s. Jack played just 39 games over a three-season span claimed off waivers from St. Louis in March 1984 and Jeff played just seven games with the Whalers (1981-1983). Babych, now 61, resides in the Winnipeg area. He has a 12-year-old son, Cole, who's playing hockey with the St. James Canadiens (MBAAA). He wasn’t sure if his father’s tales of the NHL were real until a special lunch. Babych was taking him to Vancouver to see Uncle Dave and his cousins and wound up having lunch with Wayne Gretzky. “He never saw me or Dave play, so he wasn’t really sure about us whether we were putting him on or not, but last year we took him to lunch with Wayne. He and I go back to when we were kids and played in the World Junior championship (1977) in Montreal and I think the stories and Wayne’s presence made it click for him; like you really played with him,” said Babych with a good laugh at the irony. In fact, Babych playing with the young version of Gretzky in his coming out debut at the WJC at the fabled Montreal Forum, and two years he played in Pittsburgh with Mario Lemieux, so he got see greatness up close and personal. “Some guys would say they would pass you the puck and you never got it back,“ Babych said with a chuckle. “Wayne’s skill level was simply incredible, and his ability to pass was unbelievable, but not just where and when was his gift. He passed it and he not only got it on your stick but at the moment you were in the best position to shoot on a goalie. Mario’s size and agility were so difficult for a defenseman to play against. He could be tied up and yet still send a pass from twelve feet the other way in the other direction with a flick of his wrists. He was a scary big man to play against.” Babych also scored 54 goals in St. Louis in 1980-81 who had selected him in the first round (third overall) in the 1978 NHL Draft after back-to-back 50 goal seasons with the Portland Winter Hawks (WHL) with another great center, Bernie Federko. “l played a lot of time with Bernie and Brian (Sutter), but I really did even better when our coach (the great Red Berenson) switched me to the left-wing on the second line with Larry Patey and Blake Dunlop and getting a pass from a person’s backhand on the off-wing was so good and it really worked for me. The previous two years, I was on pace for 40 goals but had some shoulder issues, but that year everything clicked." He is a Tim Horton hockey Dad now and that brings Babych a lot of joy and new dreams. “I told him, 'You keep getting better and get that NHL bonus so I get that condo in Tampa and enjoy life on the beach. He is a forward and going through a growth spurt, but he wanted to play goalie at one point. He was doing well until one game he faced like 50 shots. He comes home and says, 'I don’t want to be a goalie anymore.' Seriously, whatever he does I’ll be proud of, and it's a lot of fun right watching him grow and develop." Hartford is certainly a hockey home for Wayne Babych. (Brother Dave was in attendance, but wasn’t available for the night session) Read the full article

[rjlouro]

Day 2, from Potes to Pau

Chapter 2 - The Longest Day of the trip

Waking up at 5:30AM is never easy, but I wanted to leave before the sunrise because I knew the Pyrenees would offer so many great roads and surreal landscapes that the planned 590km in 12,5 hours could easily be extended, and I really wanted to reach Pau in the second day.

06:20 - As soon as I drove the first meters there was a surprise waiting for me, a baby deer just by the road that reacted as if he was shocked to see me that early. I guess I seemed as shocked as well, and after some seconds staring at each other I decided to make a move for the camera but he was far too quick for me.

Next I stopped by a gas station to fill up the tank and clean up the windshield and just as I started driving north to Panes, the road transformed yet again to the most amazing canyon road through the mountains.

That early there was very little traffic and the road as mostly empty, which allowed me to warm up the tires quite quickly. It does help that the design of the air cooled 911′s redirect the engine’s hot air to the rear tires, so I quickly was feeling like a kid on his favourite kiddie ride with a bag full of coins.

The road extended for about 20km and I was enjoying every meter of it. It follows the river and occasionally switches margins with some narrow bridges, it seems it was made purely for driving pleasure. Once again the car felt small and light and in those narrow roads it felt perfectly adapted, the 231hp felt adequate when leaving the turns and the front of the car with the high headlights are great guides for the dimensions of the front allowing great precision finding the apex.

After Panes the fun roads stopped and I was back at a not so interesting road, but the smile on my face would still last for minutes to come.

The moment I had to stop to enjoy the view

All of a sudden, I stopped climbing and there was a landscape so amazing I had to stop. Meet San Vicente de la Barquera, a small island in the middle of a river with a castle in the middle ad surrounded by glorious green mountains! I probably spent 10 minutes just enjoying the view, then headed in direction to the bridge that connects mainland with the small island.

Leaving the island the landscape wouldn’t changed much, and I could foresee some more mountain roads on my journey to Pamplona before crossing the Pyrenees.

The new Best Driving road in the world

08:46 - Moving back to the interior of Spain the plan was to cross “Sierra del Escudo” and was I in for a treat. After following a river in CA-263 and thinking that was an amazing road, all of a sudden it was time to start climbing. Meet CA-631.

There was a sign about how the road was being paved, but it seemed that the work was finished since even the road markings were complete. This road is a joy to drive and combines breath taking views with a perfect tarmac and to top it off, not a single vehicle in sight! In fact I did not encounter a single vehicle until I reached the very top of the mountains.

The weather was perfect, the temperature was warm but not too hot and once again I had the perfect conditions to enjoy driving the 911. There was a slight need to be extra careful since there were times without any road protections and the height was quite big, but the twisty road provided enough twists and turns to allow the enjoyment of the car without driving excessively fast.

Closer to the top of the mountains it was clear why the signs of the road being paved were still present, and there were areas of the road that still had loose gravel. The slower speed allowed to take a more relaxed driving and enjoy the views which were stunning.

The reason follow this route included a stop at a ski station (Lunada), which I expected to have some interesting view and a place to buy some cold water. Not the case, and specially without any kind of cell phone reception I had to give up on Google Maps and follow my gut for a change.

Fortunately it was quite easy, as long as it was paved it was probably the only road going down the mountains. Once again I had to stop for some cows to cross the road, all closely monitored by a curious Border Collie who decided to take a closer look at the car. He went around the car smelling all 4 tires and must have been happy with the new set of Pirelli P6000, quickly went back to make sure the cows were on their way.

Poppy fields

After the mountains were done, it was back to not so twisty roads but with wonderful poppy fields that painted the landscape. It was also time for me to check the oil level and add a bit since it was close to the minimum. These air cooled 911′s do burn oil even when new, so that was one thing I had to keep my eyes on. They do have an oil pressure, temperature and level indicators, so it’s very easy to understand when it’s time to add oil, just make sure the engine is quite hot so you do not exceed the maximum level. 

To my surprise, I forgot to bring a funnel for this operations, but the girl at the gas station where I stopped was extremely kind and offered me an empty water bottle and scissors to make one. I retributed the favor by filling up the tank, and off I went.

12:26 - Before arriving in Pamplona there was one last stop, a santuary on top of a mountain accessible only by a steep concrete road: Santuario San Miguel de Aralar. This was another of the findings on the website http://www.dangerousroads.org/ which I used as “inspiration” when choosing which roads to follow. The road was terrible, too bumpy and uncomfortable and you couldn’t drive faster than 30km/h, but this turned out to be an extremely lucky stop.

That was a Zoom H2N recording device that I used to record the sound of the engine, since the GoPro’s would only record wind. I found a neat place to install it inside the engine compartment and on the first day it did not move nor was the location hot enough to sustain damage.

On the second day I might have not placed it that well and it became loose in the engine compartment, finding a permanent place between the bumper and the pulley protection. It did not survive the heat and several components melted, but more worrying were the AA batteries, they were extremely hot! A few more minutes driving and who know what could have happened.

Remove the unit from the engine compartment with gloves, removed the batteries and displaced them on a garbage container inside a glass bottle. Although I was relived that nothing bad happened to the car, this costed me precious minutes and I was starting to get late if I wanted to sleep in Pau.

The Pyrenees, the driving holy grail of the Iberian Peninsula

15:20 - After crossing Pamplona I was ready to start climbing the pyrenees, that meant I had roughly 3 hours of driving on what I thought were going to be great roads. I was wrong, the Pyrenees are astonishing and by far the best roads of the entire trip!

Between stopping to enjoy the view and taking pictures there were some of the best driving moments I’ve ever experienced. I know time was short, so I couldn’t stop too long, and whenever I was driving speed was crucial (great excuse huh?)

There was little traffic and the few cars I encountered most of them were locals, which provided a huge challenge when I was ahead. I clearly had the car but not the road knowledge to take full advantage of every turn, so only when there was enough visibility to understand the road I could gain advantage. It still was fun and I’m sure they had a story to tell when they arrive =)

The weather was superb all the way to the top, until I noticed some lower altitude clouds on my way. This would further reduce the time I had to reach pau, but it did allow for some great photos.

The clouds were not too tal, and after reaching the summit I was able to contemplate the amazing view with the clouds below me.

A few meters away, there was still snow on the side of the road! 

Now it was time to start descending to Pau, and I had around 3 hours to reach Pau which was less than 100km away. Easy, right? 

I was above the clouds, which meant I had to go through them once again. The problem was, this side of the mountain it was very thick fog! Not only that but it was starting to rain as well.

Just as I though it couldn’t get much worse, a sign of cattle by the side of the road. “There are lots of signs like these around the mountains, no big deal” I thought just when a sound of a huge cow bell echoed. Fortunately she was by the side of the road, but I could only see her less than 5m away, the fog was that dense.

Many more km’s and the fog simply wouldn’t go away all of a sudden, a very slow car waving a safety vest. Yet, another cow herd moving along the road. This time with surveillance, but still it was better to shut down the card and wait for them to pass safely around me.

Time to change plans

The fog simply would not go away, and one of the twisty roads I had selected was narrow, was incredibly steep and had no markings. Too risky for my taste, so I decided to keep on the main road.

Fortunately the fog started to clear, only to give way to a very dark, cloudy and humid weather. Keeping on the main road had an unfortunate side effect, I was not getting closer to Pau. Time to trust GPS, abandon all the previous routes, ignore the rules about avoiding highways and try to arrive as soon as possible to Pau. There were none to help me get there faster, so I tried to drive as fast as possible to Pau.

I arrived on the camping site just a few minutes before 20:00, and the reception was already closed. Fortunately there was a bell and after explaining it was just for a single night, they were kind enough to let me in.

After setting up the tent, time to drive to the city for a hot meal and a drive around the circuit (videos to follow).

Stats of the day

Distance: 534km (332 miles)

Total Duration: 13 hours and 52 minutes

Stops: Approximately 2 hours

Average speed: 45km/h (28 mph)

Refuels: 2

Average fuel consumption: 9.72 L/100km (24.2 US MPG or 29.1 UK MPG)

[andrewmawby]

June 13, 2021 AsktheBuilder Newsletter

Did you just subscribe to this newsletter in the last few days? Welcome aboard! This top paragraph is where I extend my gratitude for your trust. Trust is an interesting concept. I recently saw a TV commercial that got me thinking about how important it is. But more on that later in the newsletter.

You, though, might have been part of my crew for so many years you might recall when my Roofing Ripoff book debuted. It reads like a murder mystery that you can get through in less than one hour.

CLICK HERE to read the first three chapters for FREE!

Remember when I was hot and bothered about my 30-year asphalt shingles that were beginning to fall apart in just nine years? Well, the cosmic tumblers aligned perfectly enabling me to interview a top official in the asphalt shingle industry.

I had to promise his identity would never be revealed. For this guarantee, he spilled the beans about why my, and your, shingles were falling apart.

But that’s not the best part. As you help me get to the bottom of the debacle, you’ll discover I was the first person in the world to discover that a wide copper strip on the top of your roof will dramatically extend the life of your shingles, assuming they’re new or in great shape.

Look at the photo below to see proof. Look really closely and tell me if you can figure out the prevailing weather direction.

Imagine having your new asphalt shingle roof last for 40, 50 or more years. HOLY COW!

It’s all in my Roofing Ripoff book. If you’re going to be putting a new roof on soon, you really need to peruse it. Trust me, I guarantee you’ll be aghast at how you and millions of others were played.

But what do I know? I ate lunch sitting on overturned empty drywall mud buckets for 21+ years…

White Residue on Wood

Have you seen this residue on outdoor wood you’ve just cleaned?

Do you know what it is, what causes it to appear, and how to get rid of it?

But most importantly, do you know how to make sure it NEVER COMES BACK AGAIN?

I know the answers to all those questions and more. Days ago, I decided to create a wonderful 2-page PDF file that will allow you to save all sorts of time and headaches in the future.

CLICK or TAP HERE to gain access to it.

FREE BIDS - Local Contractors

CLICK or TAP HERE to get FREE BIDS for any job inside or outside your home. You’ll get calls within an hour.

Easy Wood Fascia

Wall-mount doors are gaining in popularity. But some don’t want their home to look like a barn. Now realize, I’m not saying barns are bad!

What if you could find magic simple easy-to-install hardware like this to solve the conundrum? Look:

CLICK or TAP HERE and then tell me what you think of this absolutely amazing invention.

While watching my latest video, you may note there appears to be a defect in the lens. For some reason, it’s not registering hair pixels on top of my head and in one scene it created some strange distortion of my upper torso. I’ve since sent the camera in for testing.

Common Sense Might Be Uncommon

About a week ago, I was watching TV and started to howl with laughter. It was a hokey huckster commercial selling this miracle product you can spray on the outside of your home to make algae and mildew disappear. I felt like I had stepped into a time machine and was standing next to a traveling snake-oil salesman’s wagon in a tiny dusty out-West town 150 years ago.

The name of the product is not important as you’ll immediately identify this commercial. If your vision is poor, you may not be able to discern that much of what you saw in the commercial was CGI - computer generated imagery. That’s what you see in many of the big-screen action movies.

In other words, what you’re seeing is FAKE. There’s lots of fake stuff out there inundating you and me each day. It’s your job to separate the wheat from the chaff. But I can help.

While trying to control my laughter, I was immediately reminded of a product that’s quite similar and has been on the market for years - Wet & Forget. Several months ago, I got an email from another home improvement website pounding their chest about how good the product is. I saved it for this newsletter.

This past week, I decided to dedicate my syndicated newspaper column, yes, it still runs in over 60+ papers in the USA, to the topic of how to best clean algae off siding.

I BEG YOU TO READ the column to understand why these miracle easy-to-use products don’t live up to their expectations. Peer at the product labels and my guess is you’ll discover both of these products probably contain a VERY TOXIC chemical you’d never ever ever want to spray on the outside of your home. I talk about this chemical in my latest column. CLICK or TAP HERE to read it.

I’ll leave you with this. When you see a website say that something is the BEST and then you discover it’s not, does that shake you to your core? It should. I recall the one script line in the first Spiderman movie:

With great power comes great responsibility.

Stop being played.

Stop consuming fake commercials, fake reviews, fake anything. Instead, start using your tiny gray cells and put all you are seeing and hearing to the smell test.

Who You Gonna Call?

Bob Abel lives in hot and humid Florida. He reached out to me a few days ago with a question I get all the time. He was asking about a tankless water heater, but it could have been any product. You’ll immediately see how you could ask this question about hundreds of things:

“My wife and I will be building a home in Port St Lucie, FL. We are looking at installing a tankless water heater. The builder only installs these units on the outside of the home. I've heard that this might not be a good option because there is a history of these units "frying" in a hot-weather climate. Your thoughts?”

How might you answer this question?

Imagine you’re on a huge TV game show and you’re on stage in the game where you might win $1,000,000 if you can answer the following question:

Who do you think has the most authoritative answer to Bob’s question?

Tick tick tick tick tick - you only have 15 seconds to answer. Who is it?

Well, we know you’re not going to reach out to Bill Murray or Dan Aykroyd, right?

CLUE: Think product warranty!

The correct answer is the product manufacturer. You read the written installation instructions for each product you’re going to use to ensure it’s being installed correctly so as to not void the warranty.

There’s another nugget of information in Bob’s question. Did you pick up on it?

He said, “I’ve heard that….”

Heard it from whom? Are they an expert? Was it on some forum where clueless people babble on or speculate? Was it from some young contractor with a whopping six months total lifetime experience working with tankless water heaters?

Bottom Line: STOP being so trusting.

STOP TRUSTING everything you hear or see. Question everything for goodness sake.

Each week, I do countless autopsies on horrible homeowner problems where the ROOT CAUSE of the problem is the homeowner TRUSTED the contractor or the person wearing an apron at a big box store.

Please, STOP DOING THIS.

Use your tiny gray cells and shift them into critical-thinking gear.

Invest the time and read the written instructions from the manufacturer. If they’re not clear, then I can help you for goodness sake. I’m happy to call you on the phone.

That’s quite enough for a HOT Sunday in June.

Tim Carter Founder - www.AsktheBuilder.com Certified Organic Cleaner - www.StainSolver.com DX Fun - www.W3ATB.com

Do It Right, Not Over!

P.S. What’s the best exterior house paint? What's the resin or GLUE component of the paint that’s the best? Do you know? Should you know? CLICK or TAP HERE to discover if you were right.

The post June 13, 2021 AsktheBuilder Newsletter appeared first on Ask the Builder.

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[minimoe19743]

New Covenant

I know yesterday's post was a tough pill to swallow.  No one likes hearing our nation is sinful and needs to repent.  Repenting means we must swallow our pride and admit several things.

1. We are not as awesome and amazing as we all think (this includes me, hence the use of we).   The world tells us we "deserve" only the best, but the truth is if we follow Jesus we should be like Jesus.  Philippians 2: 5-8 says,

"Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus,6

who, existing in the form of God,did not consider equality with God as something to be exploited.[a]7 Instead he emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant,taking on the likeness of humanity.And when he had come as a man,8 he humbled himself by becoming obedientto the point of death—even to death on a cross." 

Jesus never came saying, "Look at me, I'm so wonderful and amazing.  He came quietly, sharing the good news of a new covenant being offered from God.  A new covenant similar to the Abramic Covenant in Genesis 15.

 Let's look at that for a moment.  In Abraham's day covenants were made between people by cutting an animal in half and both parties would walk through it.  But God knew only He could keep the covenant He was about to make and after Abram (God had not renamed him yet, but it's coming, hold on to your seat) - Genesis 15: 8 - 20,

"8 But he said, “Lord God, how can I know that I will possess it?”9 He said to him, “Bring me a three-year-old cow, a three-year-old female goat, a three-year-old ram, a turtledove, and a young pigeon.”10 So he brought all these to him, cut them in half, and laid the pieces opposite each other, but he did not cut the birds in half. 11 Birds of prey came down on the carcasses, but Abram drove them away. 12 As the sun was setting, a deep sleep came over Abram, and suddenly great terror and darkness descended on him.13 Then the Lord said to Abram, “Know this for certain: Your offspring will be resident aliens for four hundred years in a land that does not belong to them and will be enslaved and oppressed.[d] 14 However, I will judge the nation they serve, and afterward they will go out with many possessions. 15 But you will go to your ancestors in peace and be buried at a good old age. 16 In the fourth generation they will return here, for the iniquity of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure.”[e]17 When the sun had set and it was dark, a smoking fire pot and a flaming torch appeared and passed between the divided animals. 18 On that day the Lord made a covenant with Abram, saying, “I give this land to your offspring, from the Brook of Egypt to the great river, the Euphrates River: 19 the land of the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, 20 Hethites, Perizzites, Rephaim, 21 Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites, and Jebusites.'"

Notice Abram falls into a deep sleep - then God passes through the two halves - Abram never walks through, God covers Abram's side of the bargain and He is still covering our side of the bargain today.   

2.  To follow God mean and to be like Jesus means that we must come away and be separate from the world.  That means at times we have to walk away from what everyone else is doing - even when it is one of the hardest things we will ever do.   The world says, "if it feels good do it.  Christ says, "please don't be like the world, it will be hard and the road that leads to me will be narrow and many will fall by the wayside, but if you follow me you gain the gift of eternal life."

 3.   For some of us following Christ means we face persecution or even just have people make fun of us.  When my dad came to Christ at the time his family were not followers of Christ.  My grandmother was the worst (he had been her favorite and she was at a loss what he meant and what it looked like).  Eventually over time, they saw his witness lived out in his obedience to God and my aunt and uncle came to Christ and many in my family love and serve God now on Dad's side.  I am the only sibling who claims God.  My brother and sister have turned away - a fact that breaks my heart.  Worse is my sister's enjoyment of mocking me when I talk about God.  She thinks it's cute and funny - it isn't.  It breaks my heart because I know she isn't rejecting me but God and even God has a limit.  

The good news is that God sent Christ to create a New Covenant and once again God came down and walked through the sacrifice and became the sacrifice for us!  Only God who is perfect and holy could do that, only God was spotless enough to become the ultimate sacrifice and He did that FOR US!  NOTHING we have done can separate us from God except our own stubborn refusal to listen and obey.

1 John 1: 9 says if we confess our sins God is faithful and He is just and He will forgive us.   You can come to know Christ today if you don't already.  It isn't hard, it's as simple as accepting we are sinners in need of God's grace, believing Jesus can save us from our sins and asking Him into our hearts and confessing to Him our need for him.  My prayer for each of us today is that we become more like the followers of Christ and less like Israel pre-exile lost in their sin. 

Let's pray.

Abba,  Thank You so much that Your gift of forgiveness, grace, and mercy.  Thank You that even when we reject You at first, You still pursue us with a neverending unfathomable love that knows no boundaries.  Lord, we come and we repent our sins to You.  Forgive us for our stubbornness and our pride and our selfishness.  Forgive us, when we hear You and refuse to listen, much less obey You.  Lord, we are a nation in desperate need of revival.  We need Your Holy Spirit to sweep through the homes and hearts of all of us today.  Just as you brought dry bones back to life in the Old Testament, bring America and the world back to life.  Remove from us our hearts of stone and give us a new spirit and a heart of flesh.  Open our hearts, minds, and souls and help us to seek You and long for You in a new and exciting way.  Teach us to hunger and thirst for righteousness.  Teach us to become more like You and less of ourselves so we can have the heart of a servant as Your Son, Jesus came to serve us.  Transform us, refine us, purify us, Lord, and help us see our need for You. Amen

[dailychapel]

Lord, thank you for your abundant, abounding grace. Thank you that we don't have to earn a drop of the mighty river of grace that flows freely for us today. Thank you for the unexpected, unmerited favor you've showered on my life. Help me put myself in the path of your love and grace. Help me not neglect the disciplines I need to meet with you regularly and to drink from the water of life. Thank you for your rich love. Amen.

[Psa 128:1-6 NLT] 1 A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem. How joyful are those who fear the LORD--all who follow his ways! 2 You will enjoy the fruit of your labor. How joyful and prosperous you will be! 3 Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine, flourishing within your home. Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around your table. 4 That is the LORD's blessing for those who fear him. 5 May the LORD continually bless you from Zion. May you see Jerusalem prosper as long as you live. 6 May you live to enjoy your grandchildren. May Israel have peace!

[Isa 65:15-25 NLT] 15 Your name will be a curse word among my people, for the Sovereign LORD will destroy you and will call his true servants by another name. 16 All who invoke a blessing or take an oath will do so by the God of truth. For I will put aside my anger and forget the evil of earlier days. 17 "Look! I am creating new heavens and a new earth, and no one will even think about the old ones anymore. 18 Be glad; rejoice forever in my creation! And look! I will create Jerusalem as a place of happiness. Her people will be a source of joy. 19 I will rejoice over Jerusalem and delight in my people. And the sound of weeping and crying will be heard in it no more. 20 "No longer will babies die when only a few days old. No longer will adults die before they have lived a full life. No longer will people be considered old at one hundred! Only the cursed will die that young! 21 In those days people will live in the houses they build and eat the fruit of their own vineyards. 22 Unlike the past, invaders will not take their houses and confiscate their vineyards. For my people will live as long as trees, and my chosen ones will have time to enjoy their hard-won gains. 23 They will not work in vain, and their children will not be doomed to misfortune. For they are people blessed by the LORD, and their children, too, will be blessed. 24 I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers! 25 The wolf and the lamb will feed together. The lion will eat hay like a cow. But the snakes will eat dust. In those days no one will be hurt or destroyed on my holy mountain. I, the LORD, have spoken!"

[Luk 4:14-21 NLT] 14 Then Jesus returned to Galilee, filled with the Holy Spirit's power. Reports about him spread quickly through the whole region. 15 He taught regularly in their synagogues and was praised by everyone. 16 When he came to the village of Nazareth, his boyhood home, he went as usual to the synagogue on the Sabbath and stood up to read the Scriptures. 17 The scroll of Isaiah the prophet was handed to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where this was written: 18 "The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, 19 and that the time of the LORD's favor has come." 20 He rolled up the scroll, handed it back to the attendant, and sat down. All eyes in the synagogue looked at him intently. 21 Then he began to speak to them. "The Scripture you've just heard has been fulfilled this very day!"

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

Lord Jesus Christ, send us out with confidence in your word, to tell the world of your saving acts, and bring glory to your name. Amen.

[weightloss18-blog1]

I Trained at OPEX for 2 Months & Here’s What Happened

New Post has been published on http://designweightloss.com/i-trained-at-opex-for-2-months-heres-what-happened/

I Trained at OPEX for 2 Months & Here’s What Happened

Hi, guys!

If you follow CNC on Instagram, you probably saw my fitness adventures at OPEX South Shore. I shared them pretty much everyday I went as part of a partnership with the owner, Bobby Scott. Our partnership was 2 months long, so I’m no longer working out at OPEX, but it was a tough decision to stop since I saw such great results. I might actually go back in the fall when things settle down – more on that below.

OPEX is a nationwide chain of fitness facilities that offer personalized one-on-one programing and coaching. The core of OPEX is based in functional fitness (the founder was a CrossFit guy), and your workouts are tailored to your individual needs, goals, lifestyle, and more. Your coach creates your workout plan, which progresses and changes from week-to-week. You use the OPEX facility like a regular gym and on your own schedule. There aren’t any classes, so you can pop in for your workout during “open gym” hours. I actually really liked this aspect of OPEX with regard to my morning schedule. I was typically in and out in about 45 minutes, and I worked out 3 times per week (with 1-2 CrossFit workouts mixed in).

I initially started OPEX after dealing with a number of injuries due to muscle imbalances and scoliosis. Here’s the full story. Obviously, I love CrossFit, but the workouts are created for a class, and I really needed something more personalized if I wanted to deal with my (ugh, frequent) injuries and imbalances, and this is where OPEX South Shore came in.

I actually learned about OPEX South Shore through friends, who did an InBody assessment at our local Lululemon store. (Local readers: OPEX does free assessments at the location at the Derby Street Shoppes about once a month.) They told us about their experience, including how the InBody assessment identifies muscle imbalances. Obviously, I was intrigued. The next day, I sent an inquiry to Bobby to see what OPEX was all about.

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My first session at OPEX included an InBody assessment followed by one of three 60-minute assessments where Bobby tested a number of aspects of my fitness – everything from Bench Press and Pull-Ups to my cardio capacity via Airdyne bike. It was quite comprehensive and much more so than any other fitness assessment that I’ve ever done.

OPEX is big on testing, so this initial assessment was my starting point for working together. Typically, clients complete their InBody assessment monthly and fitness assessment as needed – it just depends on the client. I ended up pushing out my assessments to the 2-month mark because “I didn’t think I’d see much change.” Well, to my surprise, I saw quite a bit of change!

MY RESULTS

Body composition

When I did my InBody assessment after 2 months, I was so surprised by the results because I really didn’t think my body changed all that much. I definitely FELT better because I wasn’t beating myself up like I had been in the past at CrossFit, but I didn’t realize this more personalized training would benefit me so much. I actually think NOT stressing out my body  and working out LESS was really good for it. Additionally, I was counting macros and paying attention to my diet, so I’m pretty sure the good nutrition and proper fueling gave me results too.

As you’ll see below, my weight on the scale went up a little more than a pound as well as my muscle mass, which increased 3 pounds. Holy cow! My body fat percentage went down 3%, which just shows you the scale does not tell the whole story.

A little side story: I shared these results on Instagram Stories and received so many questions from followers asking how tall I am. On a good day, I’m 5’4″. I then received a lot of replies commenting that it doesn’t look like I “weigh that much.” Again, the scale is not an accurate measurement of body composition or progress toward your goals.

Muscle imbalances

Because I have scoliosis, I will always deal with muscle imbalances, but OPEX helped to even them out a bit – or at least make my arms and legs more proportional to one another overall.

Left arm

5.97 pounds –> 6.37 pounds

123.3% –> 134.6%

Right arm

6.11 pounds –> 6.44 pounds

130.2% –> 135.9%

Left leg

16.14 pounds –> 16.91 pounds

108.7% –> 113.0%

Right leg

16.07 pounds –> 16.65 pounds

108.2% –> 111.4%

Strength gains 

Close Grip Bench Press: Increased by 5.26% (100 pounds)

Strict Press: Increased by 6.67% (80 pounds)

Weighted Dip: Increased by 30% (32.5 pounds)

Weighted Pullup: Increased by 20% (30 pounds)

Strict Knees to Elbow: Increased by 300% (15 reps)

The increase in Knees to Elbows was crazy. I could only do 3 strict during my initial assessment, but 2 months of serious core work made all the difference – and I couldn’t believe how easy they were to do! Holy gains!

On the CrossFit front, I finished “Murph” (a hero WOD) a whole 3 minutes faster than the previous year, which is a huge improvement – AND I did the workout by myself and not in a class, so I definitely wasn’t going all out. I can only imagine how much faster I would have been with the community support. Even still, I credit OPEX with this time improvement!

Overall, I’m so pleased with my experience at OPEX South Shore. It was a hard decision to stop going because I saw so many awesome results. Sadly, I’m not sure I can swing a membership there + my CrossFit membership. OPEX is not cheap (double the price of CrossFit per month). I really love CrossFit and my friends there, so I’m still on the fence about what to do. OPEX definitely gives you results, but I enjoy working out in a class setting more. OPEX also doesn’t have childcare.

My plan moving forward is to treat my CrossFit class workouts more like the ones that I did at OPEX (i.e. single-limb movements, focus on core and glutes) and not go all out during them. I’m too old for that! 😉 I also plan to do more low-key strength training like I did at OPEX – most days I didn’t even break a sweat, but I realize my body likes these workouts quite a bit!

Question of the Day

Have you ever heard of OPEX? What are your thoughts on one-on-one/personalized training?

What I’m Loving Lately 116

Morning Ice Cream Delivery

[apsbicepstraining]

Can You Lose 8 Pounds?

This peculiarity compels JavaScript to function.

Hello. If youre learn this right now, its because you want to make a change. Youre here because youve always been huge, but now your largeness has already become revolt. You are here because God has cursed you with a flabby paunch, and you dislike the style it rebounds and oozes.

You are here, candidly, because you have nowhere else to turn.

I want to take control of my life.

I want to die a lonely, ruined person who is full of bitternes because I never took community initiatives.

Yes! The first step to succumbing a lonely, broken person who is full of regret is admitting to yourself that you want to die a lonely, busted person who is full of bitternes. Today is the day you embark on that footpath. Disappear out in the world, get down this computer, and hug the darkness.

Start Over

Incredible. Its time to begin anew! Its duration for a brand-new, less fleshy assembly. To start, take a good, hard look at yourself. Thisthis is you now.

Okay.

And this was youthis was you 8 glorious pounds ago.

Oh, wow.

No, its not.

Look, denial is a sign of weakness. Seem into your own sees. If youre going to make a change, you must accept that this perfect, chiseled muscle domain used to be yours.

I countenanced myself.

Yes! The actuality is, “you think youre” 8 pounds away from true-life joy. Your brand-new, lip-smacking person is almost within reach, but only if you vow worked very hard to and systematically destroy every inch of your old-time soul. So, how would you like to lose 8 pounds?

Exercise and borrow a healthy diet.

Take a dietary supplement.

Hurt my figure with the influenza!

I do not want to lose 8 pounds, because I am an idiot.

-Aha! You seem to be a stupid person who does not want to lose 8 pounds. Well, beneath that additional load is a beautiful and muscular Adonis just waiting to kill the old-fashioned you.

So, how will you get gushed for your total 8-pound makeover?

Check out some weight-loss message boards.

Look at your fantastically scrawny girlfriend.

Remember the days when you werent 8 pounds heavier.

You decide to log onto lard.edu, your favorite bodybuilding health resource.

Log onto lard.com and speak some testimonials.

Log onto lad.com and look at porn.

Incredible. Lad.com is unfortunately best available website on the internet. While the actors svelte forms did in fact see you want to lose 8 pounds, you were so drawn to the red-hot, attractive copulation that you didnt leave your computer for hours. Instead, you gained 2 pounds from sitting and neglected! Whoops.

Log onto the computer again.

Try another weight-loss method.

Start Over

You go to the testimonials section. Yes, this is the stuff you need.

Comment I WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFE.

Exit the computer and start your journey.

You retain scrolling. Its incredible.

Comment THIS IS RELATABLE TO ME.

Exit the computer and start your journey.

Great, youre motivated! Now gives lose those pounds!

Comment PLEASE SEND DETAILS ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH YOUR BROTHER.

Exit the computer and start your journey.

Hi, lover, says your scrawny lover, ogling you up and down. I heard you are trying to lose 8 pounds. Hey, we should engage in the primal ordinance of sexits great for losing 8 pounds.

Yes, satisfy!

No thanks.

Actually, just kidding, she adds. Sex is for people who have lost 8 pounds. Well have sex when youve lost 8 pounds.

Okay.

Oh, okay, thats penalty, I understand, she supposes. I will break up with you then! Makes have sex when youve lost 8 pounds.

Okay.

Ah, the days when you were 8 pounds lighter and the world was brighter…the days when all your breathes were unfathomably loose….

Yes, I remember…

I do not remember that.

The dates when you deemed an apple in your hands at all times and smiled…when you wore a tape measure around your waist as jewelry….

Ah, yes…

Still I do not remember…

The dates when your family was still alive….

I remember…my God….

I am ready to lose 8 poundsI swear it.

Ah, the flu! An superb choice. The influenza is the worlds No. 1 sicknes for inducing pounds and pounds of liquid secretion. How would you like to get a slimming, fat-burning sprain of the flu today?

Lick the hands of this flu seasons patient zero.

Ask the hospital for their exploited needles and then jump in a accumulation of them.

Go to the doctor and implore for the most slimming flu he has.

Incredible! You got the flu. The good word is that youre now sicker than youve ever seen, and 3 pounds of liquids “ve already” secreted from your loopholes! The bad news is that your person stands swollen and unsightly. What do you do now?

Go to the doctor and implore for a worse disease.

Continue trying to lose weight with this potentially inept flu.

Great choice! You go to the doctor and entreat for the influenza, best available weight-loss program in the world.

Oh, God, only look at youyou urgently need to lose 8 pounds, does the doctor. I could give you the flu, or I could give you a more extreme weight-loss procedure Ive been working on.

Ask him for the flu.

Ask him for the revolutionary medical procedure.

Great choiceIve been meaning to commit a fun felony and finally play-act this weight-loss procedure on someone, he replies, laying you down. Im going to applied this monkey soul in you and just see what happens with your 8 pounds. How does that voice?

Yes, satisfy, I want to be slim! Make me that monkey heart.

No thanks, Ill take the skinny cancer instead!

While lying lifelessly next to the toilet, you try on your old breathes. Wow, they scarcely fit! Your lip may be parched and your eyes crusted closed, but if you took a shower, youd be 10 days hotter than you were before!

So, how will you lose those remaining 5 pounds?

Keep having the flujust 5 more pounds!

Get some broth to suck on and to continue efforts to dry yourself.

Oh , no! You lost 5 pounds, and then 4 more pounds! The flu was unfortunately more effective, and you discontinued up losing 12 pounds total. You appear scrawny and disgusting, a merely skeleton of the hunk you once were. Maybe try gaining heavines, because right now youre a fitness disaster.

Wait, its not over! Try to gain the load back.

Start Over

Well, you steamed some hot water over a moo-cow and made yourself some beef broth. But unfortunately, you got better, and you stopped losing load when you were only 2 pounds short of your goal! Sadly, it seems like youre still a blob-like fitness tragedy. Would you like to try another way?

Go back and try another way!

Great choice! You go to the doctor and sidestep for the most difficult, most infectious disease hes get. Perhaps malaria, if he has it.

Oh, Jesus, you urgently need to lose 8 pounds, reads the doctor. I could give you either a altogether untested infection I invented or a radical weight-loss procedure Ive been working on.

Ask him for the skinny disease.

Ask him for the revolutionary medical procedure.

This disease progressed from monkey DNA, but dont perturb, its not AIDS, says your doctor. Hopefully, itll get those 5 standing pounds off!

Sprout hair from every limb.

Pick up a lodge and begin trying to jab it into numerous punctures in the office to look for bugs.

The results are great at first! You eat a healthy, clean nutrition of maggots and vegetation, and almost instantly embarked wincing. Unfortunately, you became more being than monkey, and while your skeleton was contracting into the exact size of a primate, you lost 25 additional pounds. Looks like youll have to try again if you want to lose precisely 8.

Wait, its not over! Try to gain the load back.

Start Over

Congrats! You now have a monkey heart, which is already 2 pounds lighter than a human nerve. And holy moo-cow, you examine hotbut you feel even hotter. How will you lose those last-place 3 pounds?

By eating chows and vegetation.

By mistaking a squirrel for a potential teammate and trying to persuasion it.

Mmm, beautiful. Mating with a squirrel can burn up to 500 calories in an hour. How will you follow?

Seduce it.

Pass for now and chew some grubs.

You did it! You lost 8 pounds! Its uncertain whether you lost the weight from your brand-new relationship or due to the fact that monkey souls beat 10 meters faster than those of human rights, but no matter! Youre a perfect 8 pounds lighter now, healthy and hot as is also possible. Well done!

Start Over

Great! Seeming hungry, you leave the hospital and see this: a delicious chow! Mmm…what would you like to do?

Eat the grub.

Go for the squirrel instead.

Well, “youve lost” heavines, but you lost too much. This grub was high-flown in protein and low-grade in fat, but its high poison material likewise killed you, developing in too much weight loss( 15 pounds too many !). Next time, try losing less, because this ended up with you looking like a terrifying skeleton creature.

Wait, its not over! Try to gain the load back.

Start Over

Excellent! Youve chosen to try to lose weight through both rehearsal and a healthy nutrition! But makes be real, large-scale guyyou can probably simply manage doing one of those at a time. Which one would you preferably do?

Exercise.

Diet.

Great! Effort, the brutality we set our figures through in order to look sex. How would you like to start employing today?

Join a gym.

Get a personal trainer.

Try meditating, if that is technically exercise.

Perfect. This is Quinn, your personal trainer.

You will never lose 8 pounds, says your Quinn.

Yes, Quinn, I know.

Sure, youre quiet or some shit for 25 minutes. Fucking cool-ass theme to sit on the storey to employ. Your heavines remains exactly the same. Who attends?

Get up, loser.

Ah, the gym! Therefore welcomed 24 -Hour Muscle Hell, the gym in your metropolitan that you can render! Its adage is You Will Lose 8 Pound Here, so things are finally examining up. What part of the gym would you like to start in?

The weights section.

The cardio section.

The Zumba studio.

The locker room section!

Yes, the heaviness area. The area of the gym that makes your flesh sing in pain! Time to sculpt a brand-new, lighter self from your old, heavier soul!

You look at the coach, who sides you two large metal devices. How will you follow?

Ask for a spotter.

Try to find people form to lift.

We can recognize you, say the strongest people in the gym, grabbing each of your barbells. With our help, youll be able to raise without cracking your sticker in half, and youll lose those 8 poundsguaranteed.

Lift heaviness with them.

Go back to the gym and try something else.

Each of them grabs one of your weights and embarks lifting it on their own. You try to grab on, but they both remark, No, dont contact. Were spotting you , not the other way around.

You eventually give up, but as a result, lose no load. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

You can face-lift us up, say the strongest parties in the gym, ambling up to you with their taut forms on display. If you lift us up, youll lose 8 pounds in no timethats a guarantee.

Lift them up.

Go back to the gym and try something else.

You try and try to lift them up. Were heavy, merely swollen with strong muscle tissue, they bellow each time “youre just trying to” lift them up. Hoisting two heavy beings is just the first step to changing their own lives!

You eventually give up, but as a result, lose no load. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

Yes, the cardio slouse. The area of the gym that becomes your middle explode!

Help me, suggests the cardio trainer. The gym has been downloading my muscles through these cables for years.

How will you continue?

Find somebody to chase on the treadmill.

Find somebody to pursue you on the treadmill.

The cardio trainer tries to build opening on the treadmill in order to be allowed to chase him, but suddenly, the gyms general manager comes up and starts touching his electric nipples.

More downloadingweve nearly replenished the mainframe with muscle, she responds. This being can lose 8 pounds later.

You eventually give up, but as a result, lose no heavines. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

The cardio trainer tries to constitute cavity on the treadmill so he can chase you, but suddenly, the gyms general manager comes up and starts touching his electric nipples.

More downloadingweve virtually replenished the mainframe with muscle, she adds. This soldier can lose 8 pounds later.

You eventually give up, but as a result, lose no weight. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

Zumba it is! You walk into the studio, bloated with your 8 additional pounds still lodged deep under your skin.

Kill, your Zumba dojos yell in unison. Kill the man who is slightly heavier than he used to be.

How do you follow?

Fight your dojos.

Surrender to your dojos.

You have chosen to fight your Zumba dojos.

Zumba is a great way to shed additional weight, they wail one by one.

How would you like to fight your antagonists?

Sit on them one by one.

Break a brick in front of them.

Straight up roundhouse-kick them.

Your additional load throws off your aerodynamics a bit, and you end up piercing a pit through the wall.

Okay, sure, they say, bowing. You overcame us. Heres a Zumba belt for all your troubles.

Unfortunately, Zumba is a dance that is mostly self-defense, so it really doesnt concern too much push. As a upshot, you lost no load. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

You have chosen to surrender to your dojos. You are weak and will never lose 8 pounds, they yell one by one.

How would you like to surrender to your opponents?

Lie on the soil and shriek I continue heavy.

Hit your chief against the stack of ruin committees, but not so difficult that it does any damage.

Okay, sure, “theyre saying”, bowing. Youve emphatically have confirmed that you dont belong here. Heres a Zumba belt for all your troubles.

Unfortunately, Zumba is a dance that is mostly self-defense, it was therefore certainly doesnt involve too much gesture. As a result, “youve lost” no heavines. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

Welcome to the locker room, the premier plaza to lose 8 pounds, mentions this gentleman, the cupboard room manager. This is a 24 -hour gym, so Ill be here 24 hours today. Would you like to sign up for a two-hour session of sitting with me?

Do a two-hour session with this man.

Go back to the gym.

Leave the gym and try another weight-loss method.

Two hours pass. You sat well, but somehow you lost no weight.

Great job! he answers, patting you on the back. Would you like to stay for another two-hour session?

Do another two-hour session with this man.

Go back to the gym.

Leave the gym and try another weight-loss method.

<div class="clickventure-node

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[apsbicepstraining]

Can You Lose 8 Pounds?

This peculiarity compels JavaScript to function.

Hello. If youre learn this right now, its because you want to make a change. Youre here because youve always been huge, but now your largeness has already become revolt. You are here because God has cursed you with a flabby paunch, and you dislike the style it rebounds and oozes.

You are here, candidly, because you have nowhere else to turn.

I want to take control of my life.

I want to die a lonely, ruined person who is full of bitternes because I never took community initiatives.

Yes! The first step to succumbing a lonely, broken person who is full of regret is admitting to yourself that you want to die a lonely, busted person who is full of bitternes. Today is the day you embark on that footpath. Disappear out in the world, get down this computer, and hug the darkness.

Start Over

Incredible. Its time to begin anew! Its duration for a brand-new, less fleshy assembly. To start, take a good, hard look at yourself. Thisthis is you now.

Okay.

And this was youthis was you 8 glorious pounds ago.

Oh, wow.

No, its not.

Look, denial is a sign of weakness. Seem into your own sees. If youre going to make a change, you must accept that this perfect, chiseled muscle domain used to be yours.

I countenanced myself.

Yes! The actuality is, “you think youre” 8 pounds away from true-life joy. Your brand-new, lip-smacking person is almost within reach, but only if you vow worked very hard to and systematically destroy every inch of your old-time soul. So, how would you like to lose 8 pounds?

Exercise and borrow a healthy diet.

Take a dietary supplement.

Hurt my figure with the influenza!

I do not want to lose 8 pounds, because I am an idiot.

-Aha! You seem to be a stupid person who does not want to lose 8 pounds. Well, beneath that additional load is a beautiful and muscular Adonis just waiting to kill the old-fashioned you.

So, how will you get gushed for your total 8-pound makeover?

Check out some weight-loss message boards.

Look at your fantastically scrawny girlfriend.

Remember the days when you werent 8 pounds heavier.

You decide to log onto lard.edu, your favorite bodybuilding health resource.

Log onto lard.com and speak some testimonials.

Log onto lad.com and look at porn.

Incredible. Lad.com is unfortunately best available website on the internet. While the actors svelte forms did in fact see you want to lose 8 pounds, you were so drawn to the red-hot, attractive copulation that you didnt leave your computer for hours. Instead, you gained 2 pounds from sitting and neglected! Whoops.

Log onto the computer again.

Try another weight-loss method.

Start Over

You go to the testimonials section. Yes, this is the stuff you need.

Comment I WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFE.

Exit the computer and start your journey.

You retain scrolling. Its incredible.

Comment THIS IS RELATABLE TO ME.

Exit the computer and start your journey.

Great, youre motivated! Now gives lose those pounds!

Comment PLEASE SEND DETAILS ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH YOUR BROTHER.

Exit the computer and start your journey.

Hi, lover, says your scrawny lover, ogling you up and down. I heard you are trying to lose 8 pounds. Hey, we should engage in the primal ordinance of sexits great for losing 8 pounds.

Yes, satisfy!

No thanks.

Actually, just kidding, she adds. Sex is for people who have lost 8 pounds. Well have sex when youve lost 8 pounds.

Okay.

Oh, okay, thats penalty, I understand, she supposes. I will break up with you then! Makes have sex when youve lost 8 pounds.

Okay.

Ah, the days when you were 8 pounds lighter and the world was brighter…the days when all your breathes were unfathomably loose….

Yes, I remember…

I do not remember that.

The dates when you deemed an apple in your hands at all times and smiled…when you wore a tape measure around your waist as jewelry….

Ah, yes…

Still I do not remember…

The dates when your family was still alive….

I remember…my God….

I am ready to lose 8 poundsI swear it.

Ah, the flu! An superb choice. The influenza is the worlds No. 1 sicknes for inducing pounds and pounds of liquid secretion. How would you like to get a slimming, fat-burning sprain of the flu today?

Lick the hands of this flu seasons patient zero.

Ask the hospital for their exploited needles and then jump in a accumulation of them.

Go to the doctor and implore for the most slimming flu he has.

Incredible! You got the flu. The good word is that youre now sicker than youve ever seen, and 3 pounds of liquids “ve already” secreted from your loopholes! The bad news is that your person stands swollen and unsightly. What do you do now?

Go to the doctor and implore for a worse disease.

Continue trying to lose weight with this potentially inept flu.

Great choice! You go to the doctor and entreat for the influenza, best available weight-loss program in the world.

Oh, God, only look at youyou urgently need to lose 8 pounds, does the doctor. I could give you the flu, or I could give you a more extreme weight-loss procedure Ive been working on.

Ask him for the flu.

Ask him for the revolutionary medical procedure.

Great choiceIve been meaning to commit a fun felony and finally play-act this weight-loss procedure on someone, he replies, laying you down. Im going to applied this monkey soul in you and just see what happens with your 8 pounds. How does that voice?

Yes, satisfy, I want to be slim! Make me that monkey heart.

No thanks, Ill take the skinny cancer instead!

While lying lifelessly next to the toilet, you try on your old breathes. Wow, they scarcely fit! Your lip may be parched and your eyes crusted closed, but if you took a shower, youd be 10 days hotter than you were before!

So, how will you lose those remaining 5 pounds?

Keep having the flujust 5 more pounds!

Get some broth to suck on and to continue efforts to dry yourself.

Oh , no! You lost 5 pounds, and then 4 more pounds! The flu was unfortunately more effective, and you discontinued up losing 12 pounds total. You appear scrawny and disgusting, a merely skeleton of the hunk you once were. Maybe try gaining heavines, because right now youre a fitness disaster.

Wait, its not over! Try to gain the load back.

Start Over

Well, you steamed some hot water over a moo-cow and made yourself some beef broth. But unfortunately, you got better, and you stopped losing load when you were only 2 pounds short of your goal! Sadly, it seems like youre still a blob-like fitness tragedy. Would you like to try another way?

Go back and try another way!

Great choice! You go to the doctor and sidestep for the most difficult, most infectious disease hes get. Perhaps malaria, if he has it.

Oh, Jesus, you urgently need to lose 8 pounds, reads the doctor. I could give you either a altogether untested infection I invented or a radical weight-loss procedure Ive been working on.

Ask him for the skinny disease.

Ask him for the revolutionary medical procedure.

This disease progressed from monkey DNA, but dont perturb, its not AIDS, says your doctor. Hopefully, itll get those 5 standing pounds off!

Sprout hair from every limb.

Pick up a lodge and begin trying to jab it into numerous punctures in the office to look for bugs.

The results are great at first! You eat a healthy, clean nutrition of maggots and vegetation, and almost instantly embarked wincing. Unfortunately, you became more being than monkey, and while your skeleton was contracting into the exact size of a primate, you lost 25 additional pounds. Looks like youll have to try again if you want to lose precisely 8.

Wait, its not over! Try to gain the load back.

Start Over

Congrats! You now have a monkey heart, which is already 2 pounds lighter than a human nerve. And holy moo-cow, you examine hotbut you feel even hotter. How will you lose those last-place 3 pounds?

By eating chows and vegetation.

By mistaking a squirrel for a potential teammate and trying to persuasion it.

Mmm, beautiful. Mating with a squirrel can burn up to 500 calories in an hour. How will you follow?

Seduce it.

Pass for now and chew some grubs.

You did it! You lost 8 pounds! Its uncertain whether you lost the weight from your brand-new relationship or due to the fact that monkey souls beat 10 meters faster than those of human rights, but no matter! Youre a perfect 8 pounds lighter now, healthy and hot as is also possible. Well done!

Start Over

Great! Seeming hungry, you leave the hospital and see this: a delicious chow! Mmm…what would you like to do?

Eat the grub.

Go for the squirrel instead.

Well, “youve lost” heavines, but you lost too much. This grub was high-flown in protein and low-grade in fat, but its high poison material likewise killed you, developing in too much weight loss( 15 pounds too many !). Next time, try losing less, because this ended up with you looking like a terrifying skeleton creature.

Wait, its not over! Try to gain the load back.

Start Over

Excellent! Youve chosen to try to lose weight through both rehearsal and a healthy nutrition! But makes be real, large-scale guyyou can probably simply manage doing one of those at a time. Which one would you preferably do?

Exercise.

Diet.

Great! Effort, the brutality we set our figures through in order to look sex. How would you like to start employing today?

Join a gym.

Get a personal trainer.

Try meditating, if that is technically exercise.

Perfect. This is Quinn, your personal trainer.

You will never lose 8 pounds, says your Quinn.

Yes, Quinn, I know.

Sure, youre quiet or some shit for 25 minutes. Fucking cool-ass theme to sit on the storey to employ. Your heavines remains exactly the same. Who attends?

Get up, loser.

Ah, the gym! Therefore welcomed 24 -Hour Muscle Hell, the gym in your metropolitan that you can render! Its adage is You Will Lose 8 Pound Here, so things are finally examining up. What part of the gym would you like to start in?

The weights section.

The cardio section.

The Zumba studio.

The locker room section!

Yes, the heaviness area. The area of the gym that makes your flesh sing in pain! Time to sculpt a brand-new, lighter self from your old, heavier soul!

You look at the coach, who sides you two large metal devices. How will you follow?

Ask for a spotter.

Try to find people form to lift.

We can recognize you, say the strongest people in the gym, grabbing each of your barbells. With our help, youll be able to raise without cracking your sticker in half, and youll lose those 8 poundsguaranteed.

Lift heaviness with them.

Go back to the gym and try something else.

Each of them grabs one of your weights and embarks lifting it on their own. You try to grab on, but they both remark, No, dont contact. Were spotting you , not the other way around.

You eventually give up, but as a result, lose no load. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

You can face-lift us up, say the strongest parties in the gym, ambling up to you with their taut forms on display. If you lift us up, youll lose 8 pounds in no timethats a guarantee.

Lift them up.

Go back to the gym and try something else.

You try and try to lift them up. Were heavy, merely swollen with strong muscle tissue, they bellow each time “youre just trying to” lift them up. Hoisting two heavy beings is just the first step to changing their own lives!

You eventually give up, but as a result, lose no load. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

Yes, the cardio slouse. The area of the gym that becomes your middle explode!

Help me, suggests the cardio trainer. The gym has been downloading my muscles through these cables for years.

How will you continue?

Find somebody to chase on the treadmill.

Find somebody to pursue you on the treadmill.

The cardio trainer tries to build opening on the treadmill in order to be allowed to chase him, but suddenly, the gyms general manager comes up and starts touching his electric nipples.

More downloadingweve nearly replenished the mainframe with muscle, she responds. This being can lose 8 pounds later.

You eventually give up, but as a result, lose no heavines. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

The cardio trainer tries to constitute cavity on the treadmill so he can chase you, but suddenly, the gyms general manager comes up and starts touching his electric nipples.

More downloadingweve virtually replenished the mainframe with muscle, she adds. This soldier can lose 8 pounds later.

You eventually give up, but as a result, lose no weight. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

Zumba it is! You walk into the studio, bloated with your 8 additional pounds still lodged deep under your skin.

Kill, your Zumba dojos yell in unison. Kill the man who is slightly heavier than he used to be.

How do you follow?

Fight your dojos.

Surrender to your dojos.

You have chosen to fight your Zumba dojos.

Zumba is a great way to shed additional weight, they wail one by one.

How would you like to fight your antagonists?

Sit on them one by one.

Break a brick in front of them.

Straight up roundhouse-kick them.

Your additional load throws off your aerodynamics a bit, and you end up piercing a pit through the wall.

Okay, sure, they say, bowing. You overcame us. Heres a Zumba belt for all your troubles.

Unfortunately, Zumba is a dance that is mostly self-defense, so it really doesnt concern too much push. As a upshot, you lost no load. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

You have chosen to surrender to your dojos. You are weak and will never lose 8 pounds, they yell one by one.

How would you like to surrender to your opponents?

Lie on the soil and shriek I continue heavy.

Hit your chief against the stack of ruin committees, but not so difficult that it does any damage.

Okay, sure, “theyre saying”, bowing. Youve emphatically have confirmed that you dont belong here. Heres a Zumba belt for all your troubles.

Unfortunately, Zumba is a dance that is mostly self-defense, it was therefore certainly doesnt involve too much gesture. As a result, “youve lost” no heavines. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

Welcome to the locker room, the premier plaza to lose 8 pounds, mentions this gentleman, the cupboard room manager. This is a 24 -hour gym, so Ill be here 24 hours today. Would you like to sign up for a two-hour session of sitting with me?

Do a two-hour session with this man.

Go back to the gym.

Leave the gym and try another weight-loss method.

Two hours pass. You sat well, but somehow you lost no weight.

Great job! he answers, patting you on the back. Would you like to stay for another two-hour session?

Do another two-hour session with this man.

Go back to the gym.

Leave the gym and try another weight-loss method.

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[apsbicepstraining]

Can You Lose 8 Pounds?

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Hello. If youre learn this right now, its because you want to make a change. Youre here because youve always been huge, but now your largeness has already become revolt. You are here because God has cursed you with a flabby paunch, and you dislike the style it rebounds and oozes.

You are here, candidly, because you have nowhere else to turn.

I want to take control of my life.

I want to die a lonely, ruined person who is full of bitternes because I never took community initiatives.

Yes! The first step to succumbing a lonely, broken person who is full of regret is admitting to yourself that you want to die a lonely, busted person who is full of bitternes. Today is the day you embark on that footpath. Disappear out in the world, get down this computer, and hug the darkness.

Start Over

Incredible. Its time to begin anew! Its duration for a brand-new, less fleshy assembly. To start, take a good, hard look at yourself. Thisthis is you now.

Okay.

And this was youthis was you 8 glorious pounds ago.

Oh, wow.

No, its not.

Look, denial is a sign of weakness. Seem into your own sees. If youre going to make a change, you must accept that this perfect, chiseled muscle domain used to be yours.

I countenanced myself.

Yes! The actuality is, “you think youre” 8 pounds away from true-life joy. Your brand-new, lip-smacking person is almost within reach, but only if you vow worked very hard to and systematically destroy every inch of your old-time soul. So, how would you like to lose 8 pounds?

Exercise and borrow a healthy diet.

Take a dietary supplement.

Hurt my figure with the influenza!

I do not want to lose 8 pounds, because I am an idiot.

-Aha! You seem to be a stupid person who does not want to lose 8 pounds. Well, beneath that additional load is a beautiful and muscular Adonis just waiting to kill the old-fashioned you.

So, how will you get gushed for your total 8-pound makeover?

Check out some weight-loss message boards.

Look at your fantastically scrawny girlfriend.

Remember the days when you werent 8 pounds heavier.

You decide to log onto lard.edu, your favorite bodybuilding health resource.

Log onto lard.com and speak some testimonials.

Log onto lad.com and look at porn.

Incredible. Lad.com is unfortunately best available website on the internet. While the actors svelte forms did in fact see you want to lose 8 pounds, you were so drawn to the red-hot, attractive copulation that you didnt leave your computer for hours. Instead, you gained 2 pounds from sitting and neglected! Whoops.

Log onto the computer again.

Try another weight-loss method.

Start Over

You go to the testimonials section. Yes, this is the stuff you need.

Comment I WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFE.

Exit the computer and start your journey.

You retain scrolling. Its incredible.

Comment THIS IS RELATABLE TO ME.

Exit the computer and start your journey.

Great, youre motivated! Now gives lose those pounds!

Comment PLEASE SEND DETAILS ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH YOUR BROTHER.

Exit the computer and start your journey.

Hi, lover, says your scrawny lover, ogling you up and down. I heard you are trying to lose 8 pounds. Hey, we should engage in the primal ordinance of sexits great for losing 8 pounds.

Yes, satisfy!

No thanks.

Actually, just kidding, she adds. Sex is for people who have lost 8 pounds. Well have sex when youve lost 8 pounds.

Okay.

Oh, okay, thats penalty, I understand, she supposes. I will break up with you then! Makes have sex when youve lost 8 pounds.

Okay.

Ah, the days when you were 8 pounds lighter and the world was brighter…the days when all your breathes were unfathomably loose….

Yes, I remember…

I do not remember that.

The dates when you deemed an apple in your hands at all times and smiled…when you wore a tape measure around your waist as jewelry….

Ah, yes…

Still I do not remember…

The dates when your family was still alive….

I remember…my God….

I am ready to lose 8 poundsI swear it.

Ah, the flu! An superb choice. The influenza is the worlds No. 1 sicknes for inducing pounds and pounds of liquid secretion. How would you like to get a slimming, fat-burning sprain of the flu today?

Lick the hands of this flu seasons patient zero.

Ask the hospital for their exploited needles and then jump in a accumulation of them.

Go to the doctor and implore for the most slimming flu he has.

Incredible! You got the flu. The good word is that youre now sicker than youve ever seen, and 3 pounds of liquids “ve already” secreted from your loopholes! The bad news is that your person stands swollen and unsightly. What do you do now?

Go to the doctor and implore for a worse disease.

Continue trying to lose weight with this potentially inept flu.

Great choice! You go to the doctor and entreat for the influenza, best available weight-loss program in the world.

Oh, God, only look at youyou urgently need to lose 8 pounds, does the doctor. I could give you the flu, or I could give you a more extreme weight-loss procedure Ive been working on.

Ask him for the flu.

Ask him for the revolutionary medical procedure.

Great choiceIve been meaning to commit a fun felony and finally play-act this weight-loss procedure on someone, he replies, laying you down. Im going to applied this monkey soul in you and just see what happens with your 8 pounds. How does that voice?

Yes, satisfy, I want to be slim! Make me that monkey heart.

No thanks, Ill take the skinny cancer instead!

While lying lifelessly next to the toilet, you try on your old breathes. Wow, they scarcely fit! Your lip may be parched and your eyes crusted closed, but if you took a shower, youd be 10 days hotter than you were before!

So, how will you lose those remaining 5 pounds?

Keep having the flujust 5 more pounds!

Get some broth to suck on and to continue efforts to dry yourself.

Oh , no! You lost 5 pounds, and then 4 more pounds! The flu was unfortunately more effective, and you discontinued up losing 12 pounds total. You appear scrawny and disgusting, a merely skeleton of the hunk you once were. Maybe try gaining heavines, because right now youre a fitness disaster.

Wait, its not over! Try to gain the load back.

Start Over

Well, you steamed some hot water over a moo-cow and made yourself some beef broth. But unfortunately, you got better, and you stopped losing load when you were only 2 pounds short of your goal! Sadly, it seems like youre still a blob-like fitness tragedy. Would you like to try another way?

Go back and try another way!

Great choice! You go to the doctor and sidestep for the most difficult, most infectious disease hes get. Perhaps malaria, if he has it.

Oh, Jesus, you urgently need to lose 8 pounds, reads the doctor. I could give you either a altogether untested infection I invented or a radical weight-loss procedure Ive been working on.

Ask him for the skinny disease.

Ask him for the revolutionary medical procedure.

This disease progressed from monkey DNA, but dont perturb, its not AIDS, says your doctor. Hopefully, itll get those 5 standing pounds off!

Sprout hair from every limb.

Pick up a lodge and begin trying to jab it into numerous punctures in the office to look for bugs.

The results are great at first! You eat a healthy, clean nutrition of maggots and vegetation, and almost instantly embarked wincing. Unfortunately, you became more being than monkey, and while your skeleton was contracting into the exact size of a primate, you lost 25 additional pounds. Looks like youll have to try again if you want to lose precisely 8.

Wait, its not over! Try to gain the load back.

Start Over

Congrats! You now have a monkey heart, which is already 2 pounds lighter than a human nerve. And holy moo-cow, you examine hotbut you feel even hotter. How will you lose those last-place 3 pounds?

By eating chows and vegetation.

By mistaking a squirrel for a potential teammate and trying to persuasion it.

Mmm, beautiful. Mating with a squirrel can burn up to 500 calories in an hour. How will you follow?

Seduce it.

Pass for now and chew some grubs.

You did it! You lost 8 pounds! Its uncertain whether you lost the weight from your brand-new relationship or due to the fact that monkey souls beat 10 meters faster than those of human rights, but no matter! Youre a perfect 8 pounds lighter now, healthy and hot as is also possible. Well done!

Start Over

Great! Seeming hungry, you leave the hospital and see this: a delicious chow! Mmm…what would you like to do?

Eat the grub.

Go for the squirrel instead.

Well, “youve lost” heavines, but you lost too much. This grub was high-flown in protein and low-grade in fat, but its high poison material likewise killed you, developing in too much weight loss( 15 pounds too many !). Next time, try losing less, because this ended up with you looking like a terrifying skeleton creature.

Wait, its not over! Try to gain the load back.

Start Over

Excellent! Youve chosen to try to lose weight through both rehearsal and a healthy nutrition! But makes be real, large-scale guyyou can probably simply manage doing one of those at a time. Which one would you preferably do?

Exercise.

Diet.

Great! Effort, the brutality we set our figures through in order to look sex. How would you like to start employing today?

Join a gym.

Get a personal trainer.

Try meditating, if that is technically exercise.

Perfect. This is Quinn, your personal trainer.

You will never lose 8 pounds, says your Quinn.

Yes, Quinn, I know.

Sure, youre quiet or some shit for 25 minutes. Fucking cool-ass theme to sit on the storey to employ. Your heavines remains exactly the same. Who attends?

Get up, loser.

Ah, the gym! Therefore welcomed 24 -Hour Muscle Hell, the gym in your metropolitan that you can render! Its adage is You Will Lose 8 Pound Here, so things are finally examining up. What part of the gym would you like to start in?

The weights section.

The cardio section.

The Zumba studio.

The locker room section!

Yes, the heaviness area. The area of the gym that makes your flesh sing in pain! Time to sculpt a brand-new, lighter self from your old, heavier soul!

You look at the coach, who sides you two large metal devices. How will you follow?

Ask for a spotter.

Try to find people form to lift.

We can recognize you, say the strongest people in the gym, grabbing each of your barbells. With our help, youll be able to raise without cracking your sticker in half, and youll lose those 8 poundsguaranteed.

Lift heaviness with them.

Go back to the gym and try something else.

Each of them grabs one of your weights and embarks lifting it on their own. You try to grab on, but they both remark, No, dont contact. Were spotting you , not the other way around.

You eventually give up, but as a result, lose no load. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

You can face-lift us up, say the strongest parties in the gym, ambling up to you with their taut forms on display. If you lift us up, youll lose 8 pounds in no timethats a guarantee.

Lift them up.

Go back to the gym and try something else.

You try and try to lift them up. Were heavy, merely swollen with strong muscle tissue, they bellow each time “youre just trying to” lift them up. Hoisting two heavy beings is just the first step to changing their own lives!

You eventually give up, but as a result, lose no load. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

Yes, the cardio slouse. The area of the gym that becomes your middle explode!

Help me, suggests the cardio trainer. The gym has been downloading my muscles through these cables for years.

How will you continue?

Find somebody to chase on the treadmill.

Find somebody to pursue you on the treadmill.

The cardio trainer tries to build opening on the treadmill in order to be allowed to chase him, but suddenly, the gyms general manager comes up and starts touching his electric nipples.

More downloadingweve nearly replenished the mainframe with muscle, she responds. This being can lose 8 pounds later.

You eventually give up, but as a result, lose no heavines. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

The cardio trainer tries to constitute cavity on the treadmill so he can chase you, but suddenly, the gyms general manager comes up and starts touching his electric nipples.

More downloadingweve virtually replenished the mainframe with muscle, she adds. This soldier can lose 8 pounds later.

You eventually give up, but as a result, lose no weight. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

Zumba it is! You walk into the studio, bloated with your 8 additional pounds still lodged deep under your skin.

Kill, your Zumba dojos yell in unison. Kill the man who is slightly heavier than he used to be.

How do you follow?

Fight your dojos.

Surrender to your dojos.

You have chosen to fight your Zumba dojos.

Zumba is a great way to shed additional weight, they wail one by one.

How would you like to fight your antagonists?

Sit on them one by one.

Break a brick in front of them.

Straight up roundhouse-kick them.

Your additional load throws off your aerodynamics a bit, and you end up piercing a pit through the wall.

Okay, sure, they say, bowing. You overcame us. Heres a Zumba belt for all your troubles.

Unfortunately, Zumba is a dance that is mostly self-defense, so it really doesnt concern too much push. As a upshot, you lost no load. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

You have chosen to surrender to your dojos. You are weak and will never lose 8 pounds, they yell one by one.

How would you like to surrender to your opponents?

Lie on the soil and shriek I continue heavy.

Hit your chief against the stack of ruin committees, but not so difficult that it does any damage.

Okay, sure, “theyre saying”, bowing. Youve emphatically have confirmed that you dont belong here. Heres a Zumba belt for all your troubles.

Unfortunately, Zumba is a dance that is mostly self-defense, it was therefore certainly doesnt involve too much gesture. As a result, “youve lost” no heavines. You still have 8 pounds to gowhat should you do?

Go try something else at the gym.

Try dieting instead.

Leave the gym and try to lose 8 pounds another way.

Welcome to the locker room, the premier plaza to lose 8 pounds, mentions this gentleman, the cupboard room manager. This is a 24 -hour gym, so Ill be here 24 hours today. Would you like to sign up for a two-hour session of sitting with me?

Do a two-hour session with this man.

Go back to the gym.

Leave the gym and try another weight-loss method.

Two hours pass. You sat well, but somehow you lost no weight.

Great job! he answers, patting you on the back. Would you like to stay for another two-hour session?

Do another two-hour session with this man.

Go back to the gym.

Leave the gym and try another weight-loss method.

<div class="clickventure-node

The post Can You Lose 8 Pounds? appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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