#i think i did an okay job!

[yourlocaluser48]

ACTUAL DECENT HUMAN WALLY ART I MADE⁉️⁉️🗣️

Inspired by this:

🔥🔥🔥🔥

[atomicpowered]

Wow! I can't believe I forgor to post this here but this is a redraw I made forever ago because I wanted a nice desktop wallpaper. It's based off my Absolute Favorite manga (4koma) broho illustration. I took the liberty of not only redrawing it completely but adding about twenty characters, HA.

[deoidesign]

Ray of sunshine

(pre-launch page for their comic)

[chiropteracupola]

there's no rule saying you can't turn medieval kings into magical girls.

[dendroaspis-viridis]

I'm begging you, BioWare... Learn from the mistakes of Baldur's Gates past...

[ultopias]

an old comic from 2021 that i never posted here :)

william and sherlock got invited to a dinner as a thank you but the client's daughter kept playing with sherlock's hair and william couldn't stop laughing

[merlins-strawberriesandroses]

The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.

[shepscapades]

GLAD EVERYONE ENJOYED THE ANDROID INFO UPDATE ABOUT INTERFACING DFGJNDGKGNMXGHNCBNM

[im-smart-i-swear]

ok google voltron legendary defender season 6 episode 5 the black paladins free online watch where

[necrotic-nephilim]

this is not a ship post, but something that frustrates me a lot in fanon concerning Jason Todd that attempts to soften Jason's return to Gotham for the sake of found family domesticity or easy hurt/comfort or just sliding him into the Batfam sooner, is they all seem to fundamentally misunderstand Jason.

because there seem to be a lot of fandom popular concepts of Jason coming home much sooner and just not having his whole Under The Red Hood arc. which in theory is fine and i can see the want to simplify canon to make room for your lighthearted more fluff-leaning concepts. but in everyone without fail, the way they address the clown-shaped elephant in the room is by having some throwaway line that "oh Jason quietly kills the Joker and moves on".

when the Joker being dead or alive is not the *point*. if by some chance accident, the Joker had died prior to Jason's return, whether by ridiculous freak accident, getting whacked by a fellow villain, hell even someone actually doing so to avenge Jason, it *would not* satiate Jason's anger. because Jason's end goal in UtRH is not to simply kill the Joker: it is to make *Bruce* kill the Joker. Jason's anger is directed to the idea that to Jason, if Bruce truly loved Jason, he would've killed the Joker. that is love, for Jason. compromising your personal values for love and not letting someone go unavenged. when Jason was Robin, almost every angry or misguided thing he did was born of love. he wanted to kill/hurt Two-Face because he believed Dent killed his father. he was so angry at Felipe because an innocent woman was dead due to that man's actions. he wanted to save his mother in a situation he knew he shouldn't be in because he loved her. his anger, his violence, it is driven by love and feelings of righting wrongs. that is how he thinks wrongs *should* be righted. that is how you avenge and *love* someone.

because so long as Jason's return to Gotham doesn't end in Bruce killing the Joker (which, it never will bc Bruce is Bruce), Jason will never forgive Bruce. you cannot wave away the layers of hurt and complicated trauma by killing Joker offscreen. because Jason will still be angry that Bruce didn't avenge him. in his eyes, that means Bruce did not love him enough. he was not truly loved by Bruce the way he loved Bruce. bc Bruce was Jason's whole *world*. prior to being taken in, Dick and Tim, they had support systems. they had loved ones. they knew what stability and healthy family love looked like. Jason *didn't*. and that's not to say that Catherine Todd did not love him with her whole heart and thus he loved her, but it certainly wasn't a stable and safe support system for Jason to grow up in. Bruce was Jason's first real sense of a stable, healthy life. and so of course Jason poured everything into Bruce and loved Bruce so devoutly. Bruce was his world. like he says, if it had been Bruce, Jason would've stopped at nothing.

so his betrayal is rooted in that he was not avenged, not that Joker is alive. so long as the Joker does not die by Bruce's hands, it will never be enough for Jason. (in this era, at least.) notably, this is also why i don't think it would change a thing if Jason knew the whole "oh Bruce wanted to kill the Joker but Superman stopped him" tidbit that fanon has really latched onto as a way to pacify Jason's anger toward Bruce. Jason knowing that wouldn't change a thing, in my opinion. because Jason knows Bruce. and a tenant of Bruce's character is that he grapples with murder *every day*. the whole point is how *easy* it would be for him. he is a human weapon, trained by killers, trained to be deadly. he is the greatest strategist to exist. he knows he could kill someone and get away with it. *no* trace, no proof, nothing. and he knows he *wants* to. wants to kill the Joker, Joe Chill, anyone who's hurt him that viscerally.

but he *doesn't*. that's the point. Bruce wakes up every day with that question on his mind, and every day the answer is the same. Bruce's morality is not a decision he made in an alleyway when his parents died, it's a decision he continues to make every day and he *must* continue to make in order to remain who he is. Jason is quite familiar with the fact that Bruce grapples with this daily. i do not think it surprised nor fazed Jason to know that Bruce did *consider* killing the Joker. that he wanted to. maybe even planned to. but a consideration, a want, a plan, is just a thought. it's nothing substantial, and substance is everything to Jason. at the end of the day, Bruce didn't. he was talked down by *Clark* of all people with an excuse of diplomatic immunity, as if Jason and Bruce don't both know that Bruce could've *easily* found a way to make it look like an accident or some other loophole. because he's Batman. there's always a loophole. he always finds a way when he actually intends to. but he never actually intended to kill the Joker. so he didn't. and Jason would know that there was never an intent. it's an interesting piece of fodder to add to the nuance of Jason and Bruce, but honestly, i think it'd make Jason angrier to have that excuse thrown in his face. as if Bruce hasn't beaten Clark half a dozen times by now. it's a flimsy nonsense excuse that Jason would rip to shreds.

so while yes, i understand the wish for easy lighthearted fanfic that doesn't have to deal with the nuances of canon, i think that Jason's character will always be so deeply robbed and altered if you try to fix his thirst for vengeance with an off-page killing of Joker at Jason's hands. it was never the point. the point was that -in his own eyes- he wasn't loved enough for Bruce to make an acception. he realized that not even his *death* would come before Bruce's Mission. Jason truly believed that Bruce loved him and held him as the most important thing in the world, and now he has proof that Bruce didn't. because the Mission mattered more.

i'm not saying i have a solution to this conundrum if you're attempting to solve it for fanfic/fanon, nor am i even saying it's a bad thing it exists. i just think it becoming overwhelmingly common has led to misunderstandings surrounding Jason's motivations and feelings about this arc and it's an unsatisfying solution that only seeks to pacify Jason's rage and his trauma responses for the sake of found family-ification.

[keiachi-chan]

Shipping TartaLi, Arlefuri, and Mavuitano is so so funny because it implies

A. The Tsaritsa's master plan involves rizzing the other Archons I guess, excluding Nahida who just became a mom (and shipping Xiaoven & Eimiko is funny because it means she should've recruited Xiao and Yae Miko for her mission)

B. She keeps sending her harbingers to complete missions and coincidentally keeps sending the ones that they'll fall in love with

C. She's doing this on purpose for fun because Kdramas don't exist in Teyvat yet

[thelien-art]

Nerdanel, the wise

[nottheratking]

Hi, I drew Hector :D

Season 2 spoilers

Hector is literally like my second favorite character and I think it’s criminal I haven’t drawn him earlier, also the scene when he was carving out the heart was so sweet I can’t

Had to include the best girls ever, I would die for both of these dogs

[fumifooms]

Makima, devils and self-fulfillment

Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?

The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:

"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)

So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time

She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"

~

The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.

Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.

And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.

This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.

She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.

And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.

In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.

Devils and agency

Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.

Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~

But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?

And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.

We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.

Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.

Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.

Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

[sleepy-crypt1d]

the people have spoken!! (3 people) and now i shall be continuing my rambling about all the implications in COF that simon was a victim of CSA (and that his mom might be dead): an 8am caffeine induced word vomit post brought to you by a guy with over 80 hours in COF <3

under the cut because it's SUPER long.

Trigger Warnings for: talk of abuse, CSA, SA, obsessive behavior, suicide, death, and general COF fucked up-ness.

Not entirely sure on a place to start so I will begin with one of the more obvious places: the enemies.

Each enemy shows us something about Simon, either something overt that is shown to us through other aspects of the game, or things that dig deeper into his mind and point out stuff that we might not notice on a first glance.

For one, the Sewmo, an older male enemy that's bound in chains whose attack is licking the player. There are a handful of possible explanations for what the Sewmos could represent, but for this posts purpose it will be the obvious.

Simon having some sort of deep fear of an older man licking him in some way, a man who is bound in chains and is then released if hit. If defended against, breaks from his bonds and lashes him with a serpentine tongue. The visual of a balding, shirtless man licking Simon as a way of hurting him, of attacking him, is a visceral one that leaves very little in way of nuance to me.

These are an enemy that attacks you in groups and surrounds you in the dark, mainly being in the sewers and hiding in the shadows before stomping toward you. Whether this is a manifestation of someone he knows or simply the fear of older men, I'm not sure.

On top of this, there are also the Children. Enemies in the apartments that are mangled kids in trash bags, which could be read as how Simon sees himself. A child in a body bag that has broken from it's grave, or a way of showing how he feels about his own body, as something deserving of disgust. Something to be thrown away, a sense of revulsion that comes at the idea of one's own skin.

Now, for the most part, the Children enemies seem to be connected to the pedophile in the apartments, who we learn about through notes describing his fantasies surrounding the kids who live in the building. But this doesn't necessarily mean it doesn't have anything to do with Simon, due to the fact that I believe Simon and the apartment predator are connected in some way.

This is where we get very theory heavy- and I won't be surprised if not everyone follows but it's something I'd like to point out. A few things, actually.

For one, the predator in the apartments looks like Simon- if we are assuming the man who gets his head chopped off in the video tape we get from the basement is the predator, which here, I am- just older.

This is where I make the connection that this trauma could stem from his own father or someone he's related to but I know that that link is shaky at best and even I have my own doubts about it (especially since I'm pretty sure we see Simon's dad in game and the models don't look alike), but I figured it was still worth mentioning since the similarities between them are uncanny. The first time I played the game I thought that model was Simon, so the idea that it's the visual of someone related to him still sticks out in my mind as a possibility.

Even stepping away from the 'it was his dad' theory, Simon and the apartment predator are still connected, they still lived in the same building.

There's been a lot of debate on why these notes are in Simon's delusion, why he's seeing them outside of 'oh here's something scary we can put in'. Some people believe that maybe Simon knew about him being in the building, saw his victims or caught him in the act and didn't say anything, and this grew into a deep guilt for not doing so, and when presented with the idea that maybe Simon was a victim of the man in the apartments you usually get the argument that he would have 'aged-out' of his preference but I don't really agree, due to two things, one of which we have proof of and the other I am simply going to need you to believe me about.

The predator canonically lives in the same apartment as Simon after the accident. Simon moves there only after his accident, when he's lost the support of his family and friends and is forced out on his own, meaning he only lives there while in his wheelchair. And the man breaks the elevator in the game. He locks it in the basement, explaining in note #3 that the 'kiddies will just have to take the stairs' leaving Simon locked in his apartment on the third floor. Whether this was a real thing or not, it adds to this feeling of Simon feeling trapped with this man, stuck in place and unable to escape from a predator that haunts his building. There is a fear here, a genuine one, that implies him having been a victim. Either in the past, or now, at the hands of the man in the apartments. He is scared of his man, for one reason or another.

And for evidence of the previous point- he shows up outside Simon's apartment. We see him standing outside his door at one point in the game. At least, I think we do? This is gonna be a stretch and I could very well be wrong here but during my latest run through the game, in the section where you go back to the apartments to get the two fuses and finally go into Simon's roped off apartment- you see him. If you run up the stairs quick enough to the third floor where it's barred off he appears, for a split second, standing outside the apartment. Now, I could be wrong here! It might have been a different enemy that showed up, but I swear it was his model, with the black hair, white over shirt, and blue pants, standing there on the third floor right past the bars. It startled me so much that I paused the game and just sorta, sat there, because I wasn't sure if I actually saw him or not and I'm still not sure since I haven't been able to go back and check. But if I'm right then that's even more of a connection between these two, placing him right outside his door. Further showing us Simon's fear of being trapped, because during this part of the game, the elevator is gone and the entrance is the third floor is blocked off, leaving Simon no escape. He is trapped here, and the man is outside his door. (so small edit, I went back and replayed the game JUST to make sure and uh, yeah, he shows up. If we are to assume that the apartment predator is the model we see get his head cut off then yes, he shows up outside Simon's apartment for a split second during the game when you go back to get the fuses. If anyone wants like, proof of this I can try to get a recording but I PROMISE YOU he is there, adding more to the theory that Simon was assaulted by this man.)

I could also go into how Simon decorates his space as well, how barren his bedroom at his mom's house is, how cold and clinical it feels, as well as him straight up not having a bedroom in his apartment but that may just be a game limitation more than anything else?

Still, the added detail that the only space in Simon's apartment that has nothing in it is his bedroom is something interesting that I've never seen anyone mention. And you can't say it's because you never see it, because you do, you can go in there.

And it's empty.

His bathroom, which we only ever see in a cutscene, is furnished and modeled but his bedroom isn't. A room we physically go into, seeming to suggest that Simon just sleeps on his couch and spends all his time in his living room, which might explain why it's so dirty and disheveled when we see it.

But again, could be a game limitation, so I won't spend a ton of time on it. Instead, I'm going to shift to his relationships with other people. Specifically with Sophie, since I feel she gives a better read of how he sees personal relationships. But first I'll start with Purnell.

We see that Simon is distrusting of his doctor, antagonistic and refusing to open up about his home life. His friends and his school things that he won't touch when in session. Now, depending on which ending you get, changes Simon's opinion of the man. either someone who he apologizes to and praises for his attempt at helping him, or lambastes and curses for being incompetent.

His lack of trust in people, and his inability to feel comfortable around Purnell seems to wrap back around to my point made in the beginning: Simon seems to hold a fear of older men.

This fear could very much be manifesting in Purnell in his delusions, especially with him appearing as this dangerous force you are constantly chasing. And once you do catch up with him, his death is violent, it's personal. Simon stomping in his head with his heel born of a visceral hatred of the man. A desire to cave in his identity, to crush his skull and leave nothing but a bloody mess of the face he's been forced to stare at for hours at a time.

Alongside this is the note from the bowling alley which state "Something is off about Doctor Purnell" pointing towards other patients also feeling uncomfortable about him.

I'm not saying for sure that Purnell hurt Simon in any way, but I will point out here that- if you hit the bars of the gate Purnell is behind in the mental hospital enough times- one of his lines of dialogue is "Don't make me angry, Simon" which leads to an unpleasant visual of what their doctor - patient relationship is like in the real world.

Overall, I'd say that Simon's distrust of his own doctor and the image he paints of him in his delusion points to, if nothing else, Simon's aversion to older men.

Now Sophie is where it gets interesting.

Simon is obsessive, dangerously so, viewing Sophie on a pedestal above everyone else. Seeing her as his 'special person', his everything. He hinges his health and happiness on her, becoming overwhelming obsessed with the idea of them being together, going as far to write his happy ending with them together. His doctors even prohibit her from seeing him under the basis that she is bad for his progress, that she hinders his healing and sends him back into delusion.

In his confession, he corners her on the street, seeking her out and falling to his knees holding onto her desperate for her to listen to him, to hear him out, that if he tries hard enough she'll understand, she'll love him back, that he just needs to explain it better.

He's desperate for her, even going as far as to kill her in ending 2 to 'keep her all for himself', viewing violence as the final romantic act he can attempt. The final confession of his devotion. Seeing violence as love, killing her as the ultimate way to control her. You can never say her name without thinking of him, each thought of her memory now tainted with him, an eternal way to intertwine them.

This shows us how Simon sees love, romance in general, as something devastating. Something bloody and visceral. Something he yearns to have control over. Something he's been taught is violent.

There are a few ways to read this, the possibility of his mother in an abusive marriage and seeing how his father treats her, a possibility that his self-hatred leads to a desire to be together in death- saved from their pain together- or, in this reading, a twisting of his mind from a young age. Something that happened to him that created this view of love as obsessive, as painful, his desire to want to protect her stemming from his own victim-hood.

He's terrified of being alone, of being trapped in a body that he views as disgusting, trapped in a house he feels violated in and cornered by a man outside his door, resulting in a deep obsession with someone who makes it all go away, that makes him feel good. That brightens his day, so when she says no, he doesn't know how to handle it, and it gets twisted in his head that he just needs to convince her. Because if she doesn't love him, who will?

It's also possible that he was never in love with her, only thought he was, confusing platonic feelings and romantic feelings due to them being tangled in his brain. A possible symptom of CSA being a difficulty to distinguished between platonic, familial, and romantic feelings, resulting in a skewed perception of relationships.

His obsession with Sophie is a cry for help that goes unnoticed. He clings to her and destroys her in the process, unsure how to love without hurting someone, as he never has been. His brain desperate for connection, for friendship, but being unable to see friendship without love. Without sex. Unsure how to even grasp a relationship that isn't inherently harmful.

Kids who have gone through something as traumatic as CSA react in different ways, and to me, Simon's view of himself as a disease, his knee jerk reaction to push people away, his dirty bedroom and inability to feel romance without twisting it into something violent reads as someone who went through severe sexual abuse as a child and didn't have the words to put to it.

Wasn't told that what happened to him was bad, wasn't given the space to deal with those emotions or taught ways to heal from it, didn't grasp how much it hurt him until he had hurt someone else and had to see it in their eyes instead of through his own, as someone desperate to feel normal.

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One last thing I'd like to touch on here- even if it is off topic, I mentioned it in my original post so why not- is the continued hint that Simon's mom is dead. Either leaving him in his father's care, or the reason why he moves into the apartments. This also adds to Simon's fear of abandonment. His sentiment of being lonely his entire life coming to a head with the death of the one person we know truly does love him.

In the apartments, there is the Drowned enemy, a ghostly figure that is suspended as if hanged that directs you to kill yourself if you look at her for too long.

Additionally, a baby bursts from her stomach and begins to stab you if you get too close- and this could be a reference to his mom, an older woman figure with long black hair that haunts you through the entire experience.

Now, I'm not entirely saying that the amount of 'pale ghost with long hair' enemies aren't just, references to The Grudge (since it's implied it's his favorite movie) but I'd like to ignore that in favor of theorizing for a moment.

(Though I am aware of the similarities don't worry. Especially the whole baby thing, if you've seen The Grudge 2 (which he literally has a poster of in his room like a dweeb) then you know exactly what I'm talking about. Weird movie. Go watch it. )

But following the idea that these enemies represent his mom, it gets darker as you venture into the forest sections. Namely, the Hanger enemy type.

The same ghostly women from before, clad in a white nightgown with long black hair that drops down from the trees with a scream and a noose around their neck. These enemies are also in the suicide hallways in endings 1-3, the bloody halls you have to parkour through to get to the sick Simon fight.

They are everywhere as the booming voice in the background screams and roars over itself 'kill yourself' and 'I'm sick'. It's not hard to imagine at all that these are his mother. Either having killed herself from the abuse at the hands of his father or after his accident, leading to him having to move out and find his own place- leaving him with the predator in the building.

Now, I can hear you saying 'but she's texting him? how could she be dead?' and here I would like to posit the idea that his mother acts as a call to the void type character.

A voice urging him to the other side, a gentle sway coaxing the gun to his head. Which could also explain why the Drowned enemies attempt to get you to kill yourself.

Simon taking his own life as a way to reunite with his mother, someone who we see deeply cared about and loved him, a calming voice throughout the runtime of COF that grounds you. Simon's breaking voice calling out for her when he get to his house also implies a disconnect, an empty house with a made bed and dust covered furniture that he weeps at. He's returning to a void. A comforting mirage that once held the things he loved.

His mother is never mentioned in any of the endings, neither is his father, the only hint towards their existence being his mention of how his family abandoned him in ending 2 but still his parents are not mentioned by name. He's alone at the end of this story. Just as he started it.

Overall, Simon is a kid who, no matter how you read the story, has experienced severe trauma all throughout his life. Whether you read it as him having been assaulted, his mother taking her own life, him living under an abusive father or simply being a kid riddled with depression and severe psychosis- he is a wounded mind. Someone who has been fucking through it, and I think there are several things that imply he's been through more than the game lets on.

The Sewmo's violating attack to the visual of children in trash bags and the continued theme of Simon feeling trapped at the hands of a predator are things that linger through the entirety of Cry Of Fear and to me, at the very least, make a very compelling argument for Simon having been a victim of CSA.

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I hope this wasn't too confusing to follow? I haven't slept and am hopped up on caffeine right now so it might be a little all over the place. I've been working on this for like, two hours? and I think my brain is scrambled.

I'm sure I missed a few details here and there that also point towards this theory and if you have anything you noticed that I didn't, feel free to send me an ask about it! Analyzing this game and digging into the meat of it's story is really interesting to me and I think there are dozens of ways to interpret it's enemies and reoccurring themes. This is just one of them.

Also, this is coming from personal experience, as someone who has been through some shit in his life this is just how I see his trauma and how it could manifest. I understand that not every victim is going to see themselves in Simon or agree with this post or how I phrased things and that's entirely okay, this is simply my lived experience and how my trauma has effected my life.

I had some trouble with articulating some of my points, especially around Sophie, so I'm hoping it's still like, intelligible ya know? Mainly my point with her is that, him being so lonely, and with his view of affection stemming from a place of violation, he has a hard time feeling emotions that are not all consuming. Either extreme anger or extreme devotion, he flips between the two constantly throughout the game. He wants to keep her to himself, have her be completely his, he doesn't have a healthy view of romance and this could VERY likely be because he is a victim of CSA. That shit fucks with you and your perception of what a healthy relationship is.

Point is? get this guy a fucking break.