#i think i am done entertaining all these “what if the world were made of pudding” level takes in my inbox though

[draconym]

I am so sorry for you, sometimes. I wish you a safe haven from Tumblr Discourse™. You need it I think.

All things considered this is a pretty ridiculous thing for people to start Discourse about, so I'm not taking it personally. It is yet another example of people on tumblr turning a low-stakes matter of personal preference into some kind of moral issue. Many such cases.

[drewsbraziliangf]

nothing to say when heaven falls | Drew Starkey x black!reader

summary: what can you do when the person that’s supposed to understand and be on your side chooses to doubt your fears?

Word count: 1388

a/n: not edited, we die like soldiers!!!!! pls let me know if you wish to be added to my taglist

"How can't you see how disrespectful this is to me, Drew?" You ask with a strained voice and teary eyes. "Everywhere you go she's looming like a shadow."

"She's my friend, what do you want me to do?" Exasperated, he asks.

"I don't know. Maybe tell her that your fiancé doesn't feel comfortable with her following you around, traveling abroad to see you or fuck, being all fucking touchy and handsy with you in public."

My throat was burning as the words slipped my mouth but I simply couldn't avoid it any longer. I am so tired of this whole situation and it has been going on for far too long. I just can't hold it back anymore.

"Can't exactly tell her what to do," he rolled his eyes this time.

"Really? Am I really asking for that much?" I look at the man in front of me with disbelief, "I just want to feel like I'm not invisible in my own goddamn relationship. She sees you more than I do and I am the one with a ring on my finger. How is this fair?" 

"Babe, listen, there's nothing going on between me and her. You have to believe me," he pleads as he runs his hands through his hair.

"You don't think I'm trying to believe you? I'm in the trenches everyday telling myself this over and over again, but how can I turn a blind eye to it when the first thing I see whenever I'm online is that you're both coincidently in the same city. For the millionth time."

I know that pulling this out in the open this way isn't the best option. But how could I keep bottling all of this up when it's causing such a heavy pain in my chest every time I see their names together?

It was always clear the perks of dating a public figure and I never backed out on it. Now seeing the man who asked me to spend the rest of my life with him and have his babies walking around with the woman everyone swears he was romantically involved with is messed up.

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” he admits as he walks away from me.

That felt like a punch. Because how could I make it anymore obvious? Do I have to draw it to a thirty year old why he should respect the woman he chose to propose to? 

“Are you for real right now?” I asked as I follow him into the kitchen of our shared apartment. “Did you really just said that to me, Joseph?”

At this point it felt like there was no going back anymore, either this was going to be totally fixed here or it wouldn’t at all. The bandaid was ripped and the wound was open and burning.

“How can you be so dull? You really can’t see what the problem here is?” 

I watch as he fills a glass with water and turns his back to me. He did it twice already. The off white walls of the kitchen lacked the warm they always brought when we were in it together. It felt claustrophobic and like the roof was going to fall over our heads at any given minute.

“You’re acting like I’m cheating on you. Like this is some major fuck up. It isn’t, you’re turning it into something it isn’t.” His tone was cold but looking at his posture it was clear that he was trying to maintain his calm.

The condescending tone in his voice made me want to shrink into myself and hide away from the world.

“Oh, right. Yeah, blame it on me for thinking that my fiancé going out of his way to be with his ex fuck buddy isn’t normal.”

“Careful,” he warns once finally looks at me.

“Or what, Drew? What else could you possibly do that will make me feel worse than I already do?” I challenge, my gaze locked on him as I wait.

After a few minutes of us staring down at each other, he shakes his head and sighs. 

“I’m not doing whatever this is. I’m done entertaining this,” he declares and he leans against the countertop.

Drew and I met around two years ago through a mutual friend. We instantly hit off and after a few dates, he officially asked me to be his girlfriend - which I obviously accepted. We had this instant connection that isn’t common. At first I was terrified of it, I knew who he was and the fact that his life was always being scrutinized by thousands of people. I knew what people said online about him and as we got closer and closer I couldn’t help but lose myself in the speculations about him even more.

Our relationship was great and we always made sure that each others boundaries were respected, so color me stoked to be in this situation right now. I am not dumb and every single day there is a needle pinching me making me think of stuff and situations like the one we find ourselves right now just indulge those thoughts.

In the early days of our relationship we made sure there were no secrets between us and past relationships. I knew I was his first black girlfriend, I knew he was born and raised in the South too. So joining that and the fact that I am an immigrant did make me scared of a lot of things, the main of them being the fact that it isn’t uncommon at all for men to always find their way back to that they are used to. 

So seeing her upon him all the time while people online barely know about our relationship feels like hell. Because even though I’m in family pictures that his sisters post online, and the very visible ring on my finger I am never considered the option of being his significant other. She is. Every single time. And he never did anything about it - hell, he never even set boundaries with her and she knows that we’re together. Am I really reading too much into things? 

Being three months away from our wedding day, this isn’t the kind of thought or conversations I would like to be having. I should be fucking excited and dress hunting, but lately the only thing that I feel like doing is swallowing lumps and holding back tears, faking smiles and pretending I’m fine. I’m not, I’m fucking falling apart and I’m so tired of begging to be seen. 

“I don’t know how else to tell you that I am not comfortable with this and that you shouldn’t be either,” I point out as the first tear cross the edges of my cheeks. “I don’t know how else to ask you to respect our relationship.”

“I respect our relationship, I always did. I just don’t think that what you’re saying right now makes any sense. Whatever I had with her in the past is over.” He says as he runs one of his hands through his face.

“Drew, honey, you’re not seeing things from my point of view. Imagine if it was me catching planes every other day to be with someone that I was involved in with in the past. And all of our friends know that you and I are together. How would that make you feel?”

At that he says nothing but silence can mean many things, and in this case it means consent. 

Tired of this back in forth conversation, I reach for my phone that was besides his on the counter and as if the timing couldn’t be more right, the screen of his phone lights up with an incoming call. No surprise flashes through my features as I see the picture on the caller id, both of them in a mirror picture as they brush their teeth.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I confess watching as he reaches for his phone quickly declining the call. “Not when you’re up to your eyeballs into whatever this is. I’ll make the calls tomorrow and cancel the dates with the venue.”

I grab my phone and my purse and I walk towards the front door before he can say anything else, I’m closing it behind me. 

[nanamiscocksleeve]

May I request a situation where Kento suddenly turns corrupt in a way that he loses all respect and simply wants to sexually take advantage of fem!reader? Just fucking her rough like a rag doll. Whether it be a curse or aphrodisiac (that can be up to your amazing imagination) But of course, there’s consent and miss reader has a ball with it.

Ohhhh! This is what I needed to break back into writing JJK. But I feel like there's defiinitely some work out there where Kento rough fucks his s/o thanks to a curse or aphrodisiac and I was struggling to write something that felt fresh. This might be a little softer than what was asked because while I'm ok with writing degradation, I think Kento would struggle quite a bit with this.

I hope I've done this justice!

Warnings: MDNI, degradation, derogatory name calling, CNC, objectification, dacryphilia, free use, rough sex, S&M

Use Me

It's a quiet evening as your husband brings you a warm cup of coffee, pressing a kiss to you head as he sits next to you. He stretches and lets out a breath, relishing the peace, and puts an arm around you, drawing you closer for comfort. You sip quietly and appear lost in thought. Ever observant, Kento quirks an eyebrow at you.

"Something on your mind?" To his surprise, your eyes flick up to his over the coffee cup and a blush starts to dust over your cheeks and nose. "What's with that face?" Kento smiles, flattered at the sight and puts a hand on your wrist to lower the coffee cup. Your lips twist into an embarrassed smile and you shake your head, looking away.

"It's nothing I was just thinking about something." You sip and put the mug down on the table. Kento notices the way you hold yourself, the slight tension in your shoulders and the way your eyes look like you want to divulge a secret but were unsure if you should do so. The hand on your wrist slides and he lays his large, warm, hand over yours.

"What is it sweetheart?" He brushes away some stray strands of hair from your face. You bite your lip doubtfully, then decide to spill the beans. "Kento, there's something I want us to...try." You say in a strange tone, like you're still weighing the cons. Kento nods, encouraging you to go on.

"It's...related to sex."

This catches his interest. "Oh?"

"Yeah. It might not be something you're into."

"Try me." He reassuringly pulls you against him, allowing you a grateful moment of privacy as you hide your face in his neck. You clear your throat and continue.

"I want you to take advantage of me. Sexually."

"Am I not already doing that?" Kento jokes but you shake your head, your hair tickling his skin.

"I mean...I want to be used. Objectified. Degraded. Made to feel like I'm just a toy for your entertainment." You pause and he feels you take in a deep breath before continuing. "I basically want you to reduce me to being holes that you use for your pleasure and nothing more."

Kento's heart pounds in his chest as you word your request. "You want me to use you like that?"

"Yeah. And like, I don't want you to be gentle either. I want you to be rough. Like leave bite marks all over me. Don't have sex with me. Fuck me. Roughly. Hard." The blood in his veins grows hot and he pets your hair.

"Are you sure?"

"It's something I always wanted to try. Not that I don't like how it is now. But. I didn't know how to ask." You feel his lips nuzzle your ear and his hands reassuringly stroke your back.

"Sweetheart you know I'm willing to try a lot of things. But I never want to compromise your safety or well-being. I can be rough if you want. But you need to tell me if it's too much. I can't stand the thought of doing something that'll hurt you."

"You won't hurt me. And we have our safe word. I promise to use it." There's a moment of silence as Kento imagines how this would go. You're his favorite person in the whole world, whom he loves and respects. But at the same time, this idea has him incredibly aroused, the thought of using you to his will and forcing you to submit to debauched acts that he's never allowed himself to think about.

He presses another soft kiss to your forehead.

"If it'll make you happy then all right."

--------

You whimper as Kento bites your lower lip hard enough to draw blood, wiping away the blotch with his thumb. He's unrecognizable to you. You've only seen him like before for a specific scenario; when he's hunting down a curse. It sends a skitter of fear through you but also brings forth a strong rush of arousal that makes your cunt clench in need.

"Now remember slut, you're mine to be used. And I'm only letting you rest after I've fucked and filled you to my satisfaction. And if I hear you complaining, know that I have better uses for that mouth. Now on your knees."

You kneel, keeping your eyes trained on the floor, feeling your heart pounding at what was about to happen. Kento roughly yanks your head up by your hair. "Open."

You part your lips then gasp as he shoves his cock without warning, sliding the hard flesh down your throat. You try to relax your muscles, choking in relief as he comes up then repeats the action. You're on the verge of gagging before he gives you reprieve. Saliva drips from your mouth as he gathers your hair and pushes back in, holding you firmly in place until your nose hits his pubes before thursting forcefully, grunting at the slickness of your wet, willing mouth.

You feel your breathless from the effort of keeping him in your mouth, feeling him nearly touching the entrance to your throat, tears streaming from your eyes as you struggle to accomodate all of him. When he finally pulls out you take in a thankful breath of air, spluttering from the freedom.

"Pathetic. Can't even deepthroat cock. What good are you?" His hands wrap around your throat just hard enough to give you that dizzying light-headed feeling as your brain is deprived of air before letting go. He pauses, watching you writhe on the floor to catch your breath. Once it steadies, he commands you.

"Crawl."

Turned on and feeling debased, you get on your hands and knees and start crawling on the floor, your ass jiggling with each movement that you make. You hear footsteps then squeal as Kento's hand slaps the soft flesh. You freeze as the sting ripples through you before Kento jerks your head back by your hair.

"I didn't say to stop crawling. Stupid whore. Who said you can stop just because you felt a little pain?" He brings his hand down repeatedly as you pathetically begin to crawl again, sniffing as you go.

"Crying when you know this all you're good for? Stop acting like you're above this." He leaves your ass smarting, red and pulsing from his abuse. His calloused hands grab your fleshy cheeks and spread them apart and he chuckles darkly. "Don't tell me you're turned on."

You whimper as you feel him insert a finger into your moist hole, probing forcefully before withdrawing. "Just when I thought you could sink no lower. You really are nothing but a basic piece of meat just hoping a cock will fill you and make you feel like you have a purpose."

His finger withdraws and he pulls you up abruptly, his hands harshly squeezing your breasts, pinching your nipples aggressively and earning a keening noise from you, your whole body feeling a sensitive blob. He twists and pulls, and you squirm in his grasp, causing him to growl and grip your chin, his fingers digging into your skin.

"Stop acting like you want to escape." He firmly spanks your pussy and your body jolts from the surprise, a cry leaving you. "You crave this. Want this. Because deep down, you know there's nothing more you want than to be a glorified fucktoy. That's all. You're a vessel to hold my cum, if I decide you're worthy enough to receive it."

He pushes one of your breasts up to his mouth and suckles roughly and you can feel the edges of his teeth skimming along the sensitive peaks. Kento releases it and does the same for the other, and just when your senses start to calm down, he sinks his teeth into the nipple, just hard enough for you make a noise of pain. He smirks.

"Oh. So you do have a limit." He bites the other nipple with similar force and you let out a broken sob. "Tsk. You're not very good at being a fucktoy are you?"

He shoves you to the bed and you fall on the soft mattress. You hear the clink of chains and see him securing handcuffs around your ankles before securing the free ends to the bedposts, angling your legs so that they're spread apart wide. Your wet pussy is exposed to his feral eyes and he licks his lips at the sight of the glistening membranes. He flicks your clit cruelly, enjoying the way you twitch and struggle.

"Oh you're dumb aren't you? Haven't you learned what happens when you try to avoid me?" He spanks your clit again, and your eyes roll back into your head as you try to separate the confusing blur of pain and pleasure that shoots through you body.

"Why is it that the more pain I give you, the wetter your dumb whore cunt gets?" The resounding echo of his palm on your wet folds gets louder with each slap until your clit is swollen and red from the repeated blows.

"Look at that. You actually want more after all that." Before you can process what's happening, Kento shifts on the bed and plunges his hard cock into your pussy. The stretch makes you sob because you weren't quite ready for him, the push slightly painful, but as you adjust to him, the feeling fades. His movements are harsh and selfish, swiftly bottoming out each time and hitting your cervix, setting a brutal pace that has you feeling like you might black out.

You let out a shocked squeak as his thumb starts to manhandle your clit, brushing over it in savage strokes that bring you dangerously close to the edge. Strings of incoherent noises spill from your lips, sounding more and more animalistic as your brain turns off all rational thought and begins to fill with need. You just wanted to orgasm, then have the satisfaction of Kento's seed filling your wet channel, to feel him soften inside you before the next round....

You let a quivering wail as your orgasm hits and Kento huffs in satisfaction as he feels your walls clenching him as you cum. Your feet thrash against their restraints as the ripple of orgasmic pleasure rocks your body. "You can't help it can you? Being a cumslut?"

His hips start to pick up pace and slam into you as he chases his orgasm, his breathing becoming ragged, hands digging into your skin hard enough to leave bruises as he uses your hole to satisfy the raging, primal need that's fuelling his actions. His movements become sloppy and the edges of his vision start to blur.

"Here it comes. Your reward. Try not to spend it all in once place." With a final thrust, thick ropes of cum start to fill your insides and he shudders with the satisfaction. A moment passes before he pulls out of you, leaking his seed as he withdraws. You lay spent and exhausted on the bed.

Kento finally breaks character and crouches over you. "You didn't use your safe word."

"I didn't need to."

© nanamiscocksleeve original work | no copying, plagiarizing or translating

[botnasty]

The Missing Link

Pornstar!Bucky Barnes X Director!Reader

Words: 2.2k words

Warnings: Smut (Duh), lill past trauma, but sweet ass bucky.

Note: I am getting rid of some of my draft and this was part of it.

Main Masterlist

“Where is she? She was the one who begged to do a shoot with him!” It was almost chaos in the house you rented. Everyone was ready for today; the cameras were set up, Bucky Barnes, aka The White Wolf as the porn industry calls him, was in the back getting ready with his fluffer. Everything was set and ready, except for his co-star. She was the one who approached you in the first place, Bucky’s manager, to do this shoot with him. She had begged you for months to be able to do a video with him, and the moment it was supposed to happen, she disappeared.

“Did you contact her manager?” asked one of the cameramen. You almost wanted to roll your eyes. “Of course I did, John. What do you think I’ve been doing all this time? He says he can’t contact her either. She is completely AWOL.” Your hands were almost shaking. You couldn’t just ask everyone who came; unfortunately, they weren’t needed... And Bucky, you made him come out here on his day off. You couldn’t just tell him it was all for nothing.

“Think, think.” You said to yourself as you kept on pacing in the white hallway that led to the bedroom where the shooting was supposed to happen – hopefully. What did your own manager do when you were a pornstar? You sighed and leaned against the wall. He would have done nothing, since he was a sack of shit who literally stole money from you, which was the reason you left being a porn star to become a manager yourself.

Years ago, being a pornstar was some of the worst times of your life. The lack of respect and regulation in the industry made it hard for anyone to truly enjoy what they did. It was a world where exploitation lurked behind the glamor, where your worth was often measured by your ability to perform on camera rather than your humanity. 

But now, times have changed. The industry has evolved, becoming more professional and respectful of its performers. Your own experiences in the past have shaped the way you approach your current role as a manager. You left behind the world of adult entertainment, partly because of the exploitation you faced, but also because of a manager who took advantage of you, stealing money and betraying your trust.

Despite the challenges you faced, you've found a way to navigate the industry with integrity. Your decision to step back into a role you thought you had left behind speaks to your dedication to ensuring the success of this shoot. You're willing to do what it takes to make sure everything goes smoothly, even if it means revisiting a past you'd rather forget.

“Boss, you okay?” You jumped back to see Bucky out of the room that was assigned to his dressing room. He had no shirt on, only a pair of jeans, which was how he was supposed to be in the scene. “Yeah, all is good, but I think you heard about the problem.”

“She still hasn’t shown up?” He tossed his hair back with his hand. “Well, this complicates things… Maybe I could do a solo shoot? It could be a solution,” he grinned, "because I do not think any random co-star will pop out of nowhere.”

You walked closer to him and looked up into his eyes. “You could, but there is also another solution, only if you are comfortable with it…”

It’s like he knew exactly what you were talking about because his eyes widened. “You would do that? But wasn’t your experience in the past something you told me you never would’ve wanted to do again?”

You looked at the time on your phone. “I know, but it would be necessary. We are on contract, and the agency wants a full video, not just a solo one.” You tried your best to keep your voice steady. You trusted Bucky; you knew him ever since he was an amateur in the porn industry, and you knew how he was with all his co-stars. He always tried to make them comfortable, get to know them a little so that when the camera rolled, everything went smoothly.

“You would trust me with that?” He scratched his pec and leaned closer to you as you nodded. “Okay, and I am comfortable doing that with you too, but if at any time, it gets too much, we stop, and I do not care what the agency says. It’s not our fault she didn’t show up.” His eyes went back and forth between yours. “Are we clear?” You wanted to laugh. You were the manager here; you were supposed to be the one comforting and all that, but here he was doing that to you.

“Yeah, big guy, I guess it’s time for me to go get ready. I'll tell everyone it’s almost ‘go’ time. And you,” you pointed at him, “Go back to your fluffer and get ready.” You said with a smile.

He smiled back. “Oh, I do not think I’ll need one for this shoot.”

After the decision is made for you to step in as Bucky's co-star, the atmosphere on set shifts. The initial tension and uncertainty give way to a focused determination to make the best of the situation. As you both prepare for the scene, there's a sense of mutual respect and understanding between you and Bucky, forged through years of working in the industry.

As the cameras start rolling, the room falls into a hushed anticipation, a quiet reverence for the performance about to unfold. You and Bucky stand facing each other, the air thick with tension and unspoken words. The set fades away, and it's just the two of you, locked in a moment that feels both intimate and exhilarating.

Bucky's touch is like fire against your skin, igniting a passion that burns brightly between you. His eyes are intense, filled with a hunger that mirrors your own. Your head is all over the place as to what is about to unfold. You can feel the heat of his body radiating against yours, heightening every sensation, every touch.

"You ready?" Bucky's voice is a low growl, sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine. His fingers start stroking the skin on your arms.

You nodded, your voice barely a whisper. "More than ready."

He grins, “Well then, let’s start this.” He grabbed your head in his big hands and kissed you on the lips. Never in your life would you have ever thought of being on the receiving end of Bucky Barnes. You had always guiltily imagined it: being his co-star. Your arm traveled around his neck as your other hand explored his tone body. He was so firm at all the right places. You wanted to smirk when you heard him growl as you reached lower and lower.

Suddenly, before you could even reach his bulge, he let go of you. “Get on your knees, baby. Come on.” He let you slide down on your knee as he held to your hair. “Get in out for me.”

“I happily will.” You couldn’t help but say. You licked your lips when you saw a glimpse of the head poking out from the top of his boxer. He was so big, you were already salivating at the thought of having him in your mouth. 

As you pulled down the boxers, his dick springs out, the tip so red it looked uncomfortable. You placed your hands on his thighs and let a drool of spit land on the tip. It’s so thick you couldn’t help but think. You wrapped your hand around the base and you heard his breath hitch. You looked up at him and saw his eyes were dark with desire. “Fuck my face, big guy.” Was the last thing you said before he took your head in his hands and pushed his dick deep inside your mouth, almost choking you. He must have realized his mistake because he asked you: “If it’s too much, tap my thigh twice.” You never did. 

His dick was so heavy in your mouth, so hot. You had never liked sucking your co-star’s dick before, but his dick was now part of the exception. Hesitantly, he let out a low groan, shutting his eyes tightly as he gripped onto your hair even more tightly. His free hand went instinctively towards his chest- covering his heart that was now racing wildly.”Fucking hell, baby. You have such a wet mouth. It feels so good.”

His head fell back slightly, letting out a shaky exhale." Jesus fucking Christ." He muttered, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. A small smile appeared on his lips though as he opened them again.”Squeeze my balls, baby. Grab them in your hands.” As you did a loud groan left his mouth and he suddenly pulled out.

“I was about to cum, baby. Oh, fuck.” You smirked.

“Oh really? And here I thought the big bad wolf had more in him.” You taunted him. You saw a big smirk appear on his face. “Oh, you asked for it baby.” He grabbed you suddenly, a little gasp leaving your mouth, and threw you on the bed.

“Touch yourself. I want to see what you do when you think of my dick every night.” Slowly you brought your hands to your tits, your fingers twisting your nipples as you looked straight in his eyes. You saw him swallowed thickly, still staring at you with an unreadable expression. For a moment, it’s like he was simply watching  you – taking in every detail of your appearance, committing it to memory.

With one last pinch you brought your hand to your clit, never in your life had you been this wet in a shoot. Always, before, the guy needed to use lube with you, but this time, you could feel some wetness dripping down your thighs and also down your ass. It had been such a long time since you’ve felt pleasure at all.

He got on top of you, hid dick in his hand. "I’m going to fuck you so hard, baby.” He said loud enough for the camera to pick it up, but in your ears he whispered: “You okay?" he asks, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort.

You smile, a mix of gratitude and admiration in your gaze. "I'm perfect. You're amazing."

He pecked your lips. “I’m gonna put it in…” He slapped his dick twice against your clip, making you jolt with a moan. The tip of his dick gently breached your opening and already you felt full. He was so big. You placed a hand on his lower back and bit on his neck as he went deeper. “OH, fuck. So fucking tight.”

Your hands grabbed whatever you could have he trusted deep inside of you. The wet sound of sex vibrating in the air, as he kept going. He growled. “I fucking love your pussy.” He grabbed your waist and pulled you closer as he went on his knees. “How come you hid this from me, huh?” You could feel all the ridges of his dick, how veiny it was and the tip always brushing your sweet spot inside in this position. 

You grabbed one of his hands and tried to bring it to your clit. “Please, please, please.” Once he understood, he started rubbing your clit with his thumb as he forced his dic depper in you. Everything was too much.

You let out a moan and tossed your head back, your legs were shaking all over the place. “I can feel you tightening, baby. Are you gonna cum like a good slut on my dick? You are, aren't you.” You tried to nod, but to no avail. Your body was just completely shaking, before you let out a loud moan and you felt your pussy tighten around him. Somehow this was enough to make Bucky Barnes, the man you knew could last for hours, to cum in you. He groaned and moaned as he kept on doing little thrust in you, making all of his cum pooling inside of you just as he fell down on you. Both sweaty bodies against each other and heavy breath mingling.

The room seems to pulse with a shared energy, a connection between you and Bucky that transcends the physical. When the director finally calls "cut," there's a moment of stillness, as if everyone is caught in the spell you've woven.

"You were incredible," Bucky says, his voice filled with genuine admiration and he kissed your cheek. "I couldn't have asked for a better co-star. Maybe we should do this again sometime"

You smile, feeling a sense of pride wash over you, a sense of reborn. "You weren't so bad yourself.”

Thank you so much for reading! PLease do not hesitate to let me know what y'all think:)

[wildestdreamsblog]

Latibule Spinoff: Elysian II

Pairing: Doctor/Mafia!Kim Seokjin x Intern!Reader 

Warnings: Yandere behavior, Possessiveness, Manipulative behavior, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.

A/N: heheheheheee

Masterlist, Part II of __

Kim Seokjin blinked owlishly as you run past him in a hurry with your white coat hanging on your arm and the sound of your heels hitting the floor before completely skidding to a stop. It was already late in the evening and you still had energy to run in the hospital lobby. Seokjin was starting to wonder what you were fed as a child to be this vibrant. Additionally, though, he was now starting to think what he fed Jungkook as a child for him to be as energetic as you.

“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I run again?” you asked with a teasing smile on your face, your breaths huffing. You saw the most handsome man walked confidently across the lobby, his hand clutching his briefcase and you knew he was done for the day. That was the moment you ran from the second floor to the ground floor just to annoy your crush. You were too busy today with your patients and papers that you had no time to go to his office and bat your eyelashes at him.

It was entertaining to watch his cheeks and ears reddened whenever he saw you doing that, or whenever you verbally appreciated his beauty. You thought he was embarrassed for you and you found it immensely charming. In fact, flirting with him was the highlight of your day and you always made sure to see him on a daily basis which you noted was difficult.

Sometimes, Kim Seokjin was nowhere to be found for days. You wondered where he went whenever he disappeared. On days after he was gone, he seemed to be more tolerant of your teasing quips. On days after he returned, you could have sworn he looked at you a little bit fondly for a second and then it was gone.

“This is not the first time I saw you, Doctor Y/N,” he replied calmly, his hand in his pocket as he rested his eyes on yours.

“Yes, but I’m running out of pickup lines to use. I still need conduct further research,” you tilted your head to the side as you looked up at the tall man. “When are you even going to ask me out, Doctor Kim?”

“W-what?”

“I mean, you better hurry up or else someone might snatch me up. My mother did say that I’m the most beautiful girl in the world and I am known for being a good girl and believing every word my mother said.”

His brows furrowed at the thought of someone snatching you away from his grasp. But, you weren’t his, right? He had no hold over you, right? So why did that leave a sour taste on his mouth? Why then did he fist his hands so tight he almost felt pain knowing that he had long couldn’t?

You had no idea of the darkness that was clouding his mind and instead, you smiled sweetly at him before waving him goodbye, satisfied that you once again managed to render the smartest man in this hospital speechless and blushing profusely. That was an achievement, you giggled.

But then you turned to look at him again, your hand touching your lips and then dramatically pointing it to him. That was all it took to get him out of the darkness that was caging him once again. The mafia prince didn’t know what to make of the power you had over his darkness, a darkness that he spent a good decade reigning in.

You tapped your knuckles against his office door twice before opening the door. Kim Seokjin was the image of focus as he stared intensely at his laptop, his brows slightly furrowed with his glasses resting on his aristocrat nose. He looked up when he heard the sound of several tupperwares hitting his table.

“Eomeoni said that she courted appa by cooking and bringing him meals everyday in his office,” you started conversationally as you opened the lids. Seokjin was helpless as soon as the aromatic smell reached him that his own stomach decided to betray him and communicate how empty it was.

He coughed to cover his embarrassment, “Your mother courted your father?”

“Yes. Her method was effective, though,” you grinned at him as you placed the chopsticks in front of him. You sat in front of him before starting to eat. “She also did say to follow my dreams, so here I am.”

You met his eyes before winking at him. Seokjin’s face radiated with a warm, pinkish blush which happened to be a true testament to his extremely flustered state that only you could bring out of him. And you staring at him like that was not helping him at all.

His hands shook as his mind went to the default setting: to push you away.

“I have patients coming in…”

You blinked owlishly at him before looking down at your wristwatch. “It’s 5:47 am. Check-ups starts at 7:00 am. We have time.”

“I-I don’t eat.”

The silence was loud as you processed what he just said, and you knew what an ‘I don’t want to spend time with you’ looked like. You nodded your head before standing up. “Okay.”

You stopped yourself from showing your disappointment. You brought your chopsticks down before wordlessly closing the lids on the meals your prepared at an ungodly hour. You returned them all in the paper bag before bowing at him and leaving. He watched it all as you refused to meet his eyes for the first time since you met him.

He groaned when you closed the door, and he was once again left with the silence he was used to. He rested his head on his hands in frustration. What was wrong with him, he thought. He didn’t eat? What was he, a fucking vampire? Yes, he had a clear and fair skin, and yes, he looked like he was not aging. And of course, his beauty was out of this world. But he was just beautiful! What could he do? Should he blame his mother that used to be a top model for his good genes?

Or should he blame his already system that was already beyond repair even before you came into his life?  

Kim Seokjin eyes kept on shifting to the door and then back to his screen for a moment. However, it was as though he was powerless from looking back to the door again. The presentation that they deemed to be important was merely a white noise to him, even as the doctors kept on looking at him for approval. They found none as his face remained impassive.

He looked down on his phone, and even your usual good morning was not there and he loathed it. Granted that he never replied, but he still kept the messages. It brought him something akin to warmth in his chest when he received your messages on his phone. Reading your adorable messages was the highlight of his morning. But now, his phone was unusually quiet and you were nowhere to be found. It displaced him. It vexed him. And it confused him. Seokjin glared at the emptiness of your chair with such disgust and irritation that the presenter gulped from the darkness that crossed his face. They all wanted to please him, not only was he in the highest position but he was also the major stockholder of the hospital.

Suffice to say, Kim Seokjin was the most powerful man in the hospital. Unbeknownst to them though, his power spread beyond the corners of the hospital and into the darkness of the world.

“Director Kim?” the presenter he didn’t care to remember the name called for his attention. Leisurely, he brought his eyes from his phone to the sweating man. He didn’t even care to hide the fact that he was more focused on the phone than the presentation. He read all about it and he was not pleased one bit.

“I believe you graduated at the top of your class, Doctor Choi, am I correct?” he regarded him with an unimpressed look. He waved his hand before the man could even respond. He didn’t need his affirmation. “Did your school have an extremely low population? Did they have-“ he tilted his head to come up with a better word than what he was thinking. “-subpar qualifications? Was bribery involved?”

He met each and everyone’s eyes before standing up slowly in heavy disappointment. “Fix this. Or I’ll personally call all the organizations that awarded this hospital as the best and tell them that they made a terribly, colossal blunder and have them take all the certifications away.”

—-

“Hyuuuuung, why are you even doing here?” Jungkook, their youngest brother, whined as he watched his oldest hyung laid out on his office sofa. He had his phone up, glaring at it as though it personally did him wrong.

“Hanging out with you,” he murmured before throwing his phone away. He pulled his arm on his face and started groaning.

Jungkook wanted to smash his head against his table littered with thousands of documents he needed to go into- which he couldn’t do because his hyung just wouldn’t leave him in peace!

“You’re distracting me!”

“Tough luck. I need to be around someone who’s as lonely as I am.”

“Then go to the others! Why me?! Why not Namjoon hyung?!”

“He’s not lonely. He has his secretary,” Jin softly explained before putting down his arm and turning to look at Jungkook. “Besides, no one is as lonelier as you. Your wife is out there running from you.”

“No, she’s not! She’s just lost! What about Taehyung? Go to him!” he huffed as he was reminded yet again that his wife left him. His brows were now in a pinched as he pouted at his hyung.

Jin waved his suggestion away before closing his eyes. “Tae Tae does not feel any emotion, Kookie. He doesn’t even know he’s lonely because he is a high-functioning pain in the ass psychopath that needs to be put down as soon as pos-“

His slander on Taehyung was cut short as the sound of his phone alerting him of a message from the floor chimed. Jungkook watched his hyung scrambled on the floor to where he threw his phone both in confusion and disgust. He never saw his hyung behaved this way when he was the one who always insisted in proprietary and manners because they as he said, they might be cold-blooded criminals but they were not barbarians.

You were back, he read as the personnel from the Human Resources department he bribed messaged him. Apparently, you were on a week-long leave that required him suffering because you weren’t in his vicinity. Yet again, he had no time to dissect his feelings…

He just needed to see you.

It felt like everything was displaced when you were gone, yet at the same time it was how he was living before you came into his life and painted his world with colors he didn’t know existed. That was the thing, you came and changed his world. He didn’t know how to go back to his colorless world now.

“Okay, bye.”

Jungkook watched dumbfoundedly as his hyung ran out of his office.

Part III

[soapssuds]

Infinity

Yandere ! Gojo Satoru x Female ! Reader

Part 12 | another simple beginning

Summary | And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

Warnings | short chapter, grammatical errors, etc.

Infinity Masterlist

“You think you’re funny, you damned Gojo?”

The sorcerer grinned at Sukuna whose mouth appeared on Itadori’s cheek, “very much so. Here we are in a new time and you’re stuck in a teenager’s body. She won’t ever look your way.”

“Gojo-sensei?”

He smiled when Itadori questioned him as to what he and Sukuna were possibly going on about, but the sorcerer merely shrugged with an aloof expression etching across his face, “who knows? I’m just entertaining him is all. Curses like Sukuna need to be entertained every once and awhile, you know?”

“Is that why you fought him when we first met?”

“Yeah … something like that.”

“You both did wonderful! Congrats on a mission well done!”

Gojo brought his attention forward, both him and Itadori went on a sort of solo training mission while Y/n took Fushiguro and Kugisaki on another. And afterwards, they all had agreed to meet at a particular restaurant in both in celebration for a job well done and for welcoming Y/n as a new teacher.

“Gojo, Itadori! I’m glad to see you both made it here safely.”

Gojo could feel how his heart swooned at the sight of her smile. His grin infectious as he reached for her, his hand gently patting her head, “please, a mission like that is but a simple one.”

“That so? Are all missions easy for you, Gojo?”

He found it adorable with how curious she was about him, it made him want to squish her cute cheeks. But he managed to refrain himself as they all entered the restaurant with him making sure that she stood right next to him.

“Of course they are, I am the strongest after all.”

“The strongest? Stronger than anyone then?”

“Anyone and everyone.”

“Even Sukuna?”

“Him too.”

She laughed as the waitress showed them there table, “it must be tiring, huh?”

As the three students sat on one side, he was sure to pull her to him so she would be sitting next to him. Though, he didn’t like how Itadori unconsciously sat in front of y/n on the other side. Must have been Sukuna’s doing.

“Tiring,” he questioned.

“Well… since you’re the strongest, you must always be called on missions, right? Isn’t that tiring?”

“Not at all.”

“Well, if you want, if you ever need a break or a vacation, then I would be happy to take on your missions for you,” she happily exclaimed while digging into her pocket and pulling out her jujutsu sorcerer card, “I am a special rank sorcerer after all!”

Marry me.

He shook his thoughts out before he could utter those words to her, and just as he opened his mouth to thank her, Itadori cut right into the conversation.

“A special grade?! But you look our age! How did you get to that rank already?!”

She laughed at that too, “I’m not that young, I’m actually 22.”

“That’s still young!”

She grinned and Gojo pouted while pointing to himself, “hey, I’m a special grade sorcerer too.”

“Oh, youre like what? 40?”

Gojo huffed at Itadori, “I’ll have you know I’m 28!”

“Close enough.”

“Kugisaki?!”

“I thought he was 50 when I first met him.”

“Not you too, Megumi!”

It was a good day. Everyone was laughing and poking fun at one another. No one would expect anything was wrong or that Gojo was planning to get rid of Sukuna in some way, shape, or form.

No one noticed how Sukuna kept his eyes on you either. A special grade sorcerer? A young woman trying to make it in the jujutsu world?

Seems like he’ll be able to keep an eye on you way easier than he originally thought.

Infinity Taglist | pls note that some i could not tag due to "no blogs found"

@whore-for-hawks @esthelily @huicitawrites @flaming-vulpix @zeniiis @rin1802 @mrowwww @kenstarsworld @bubera974 @littleplantofdeath @fangirl-332 @thaliadoesthings @hellsingalucard18 @tamaki-simp @obsessedwithfanfiction @babygivertyrant @carvelcakes

@itzmeme @nervouschocolatecat @aspiring-bookworm @babyorphanstastegood @lilacskyly @ilovethegold @mythicalsongbird

[goldsainz]

ECHOES OF LOVE — one shot.

pairing: charles leclerc x reader

2K CELEBRATION. MASTERLIST.

taglist: @lorarri @lpab @whatthefuckerr @noncannonships @lunnnix @elliegrey2803 @schumacheer @saintslewis

summary: you can only watch as the man you love becomes a shell of who he once was.

request: “i would like to have ✒️— with prompt “i don’t even recognize you anymore.” with Charles!”

warnings: angst, ferrari being enemy #1, poorly proof-read, charles’s an asshole.

NOTE: this is all over the place but i kinda like the mess. every time i write for charles i read it over and over bc i don’t know if i am doing him justice. i hope you all enjoy this and find it entertaining, at least.

[ word count: 1,2k ]

Forza Ferrari sempre. 

You didn’t know when, but somewhere along the way you grew to hate the phrase. You suppose it was when Charles started to lose himself in his devotion to the team or when he no longer had time to even look at you some days. 

It didn’t take a genius to know that Ferrari was one of the main priorities Charles had in his life, what you didn’t know or even have in mind, is that it went above you. You who had stuck by him through thick and thin, who heard him cry out of frustration when the team made a decision not even then could comprehend; you who loved him for Charles and not il Predestinato. 

Sometimes you miss the past. It wasn’t always that you indulged in nostalgia, but when you did, it made you resent what your life has become. How could you not? Everywhere you went there was a reminder of all the things you had lost, all the little things you slowly left behind and now missed. 

You remember a time where talking about Ferrari was fun. When all was hush-hush and Charles had just signed his contract with the Scuderia, rambling on and on about all the things that could happen if he was on the team; from fulfilling his family’s dream to becoming a World Champion. Ferrari signified hope to Charles, so it was the same to you.

Now, Ferrari was the breaking point in your relationship. It wasn’t about ultimatums, you were almost certain that if it were you would have to pack your bags and start fresh somewhere else. No, this was about putting effort into a relationship, one that over time seemed to be one-sided.

Being home — if it could still be called that — was awkward and not like it once was. You watched Charles fumble around the kitchen as he pretended to cook, something he wasn’t fond of or good at. There were so many things you wanted to say, so many thoughts to be shared, and you would’ve kept them under lock and key if it weren’t for the fact that you were supposed to be spending time together.

It was unbearable to live with someone who you once knew so well and now was someone else entirely. The same could probably be said for you, but you knew that it didn’t matter how you changed, you love for Charles didn’t.

“I was thinking on going to Maranello on Friday.” Your boyfriend said, breaking the silence that loomed over you.

“What?”

“Yeah, get some stuff done. Just for the weekend, though.” You waited for Charles to turn around, to face the words he was saying. But once more, you are left behind in his plans: in his life.

“You’re not being serious, right?”

“Of course I am, Y/N.”

That was when he turned around. If there was something you rarely did was complain to him about his work trips, because most of the time you went him. But you knew that he knew that what he was telling you was outrageous.

“We have this one week to ourselves, Charles. You promised to leave work related stuff behind for one week.”

“I know that, but things came up.”

“Things came up? Come on, Charles.” You heard his exasperated sigh, now frustrated you weren’t bending to his wishes.

“Look, I’m sorry that me working to maintain the life we live is such an inconvenience for you.”

“I never complain about anything!” You exclaim, shaking your head at the absurdity of his words, “I’m your biggest supporter, Charles. I just wanted one week to enjoy ourselves.”

You hear pans clattering as he abandons his attempt at cooking, his attention now fully on you.

“This whole week is a distraction, and I can’t have distractions right now, Y/N.” There is a silence that builds the moment he says that, as you look at him you wonder when it was that all the time you spent together ended up in this.

“Oh, so I’m a distraction now?” You finally speak up, watching as the situation fully clicks for Charles. You watch him move from behind the kitchen counter, approaching you like a wounded animal.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” You almost laugh at his words, you want to tear your hair out from your scalp from frustration.

“It’s not?” You ask, watching as he falters at the brashness of your words, “Because from what I see, Ferrari will always come first.”

He doesn’t say anything. Nothing to deny the claims you are making, and that is when you truly know. That despite the way you want to delude yourself that the current Charles is the same Charles you met all those years ago and fell in love with, you know that the man who stands before you is not him.

“You can’t even deny it! You are so far gone on this quest to make Ferrari the team you want them to be, that you’ve lost sight of everything else around you. Including me.”

You wait for him to say something, but nothing comes out of his mouth, nothing at all.

“Say something, Charles!”

“What do you want me to say? That me driving for Ferrari is the worst thing ever? Because I can’t.”

Despite the urge to cry you manage to keep your composure. You hope that the gloss in your eyes isn’t noticiable, that he doesn’t see how tired of your situation you are.

“If I don’t work with Ferrari, what do I have left?”

That is when a tear slips. That exact moment were he utters those dreaded words, is when you falter before him. His dismissal of your relationship breaks your heart, it breaks your heart that he believes Ferrari is all he is worth. As if he isn’t one of the best drivers on the Grid currently, as if there aren’t various teams interested in him if he wanted them.

“I don’t even recognise you anymore.” You whisper to him, watching as his posture tightens and the look in his eyes turns cold.

It is then when you truly know that there is no going back to who you once were. That your relationship, however much of it was left, is now over.

He takes a deep breath, dragging his hand down his face. His brows furrowed, considering what to do of the predicament his in.

“If you dislike who I am so much, leave.” Charles says with no remorse in his voice, no care for the fact that you have limited places to go to in Monaco. “Nobody is stopping, if this situation is so bad for you, leave.”

You watch him for a second, this time you don’t look for regret, you look for love. If you had more time in your hands you could probably dig some up, but you shouldn’t grasp at straws to find love. And so you do what he wants. Once more. But this time will be the last time.

With little fuss, little care, you grabbed your necessities that were laying around and left. Opening the door to leave his flat feels like relief.

It isn’t until you are standing in the street that you realise that all those years with Charles would now remain in the past. Forever frozen on what could’ve been if life were fair.

[woaza]

Since you do requests, could I request Gerhard with a reader who is the world's best smithy? Whether it be jewellery, tools, weapons, or anything made of metal, they can make it.

If this is ok with you, of course.

Gerhard F. x Smith!(GN) Reader

Contains : Head cannons and Small fic.

Word count : 1.5k words!

Warnings : None other than Gerhard.

A/N : Gerhard is insane. ALSO I love requests, I did my best to follow my understanding of what you requested. If it’s not to your liking please let me know! Tysm!🌬️

—— (Married before your recived title.)

- Gerhard was originally unsure about your ‘hobbies’ as he would say. He believed his partner didn’t need to work you had other duties as an aristocrat. (Even if you weren’t an aristocrat before you married, you are now and he wants you to act like it.)

You were working in the small shop out in the garden you had the servants of the estate set up for you. Sitting at your table learning over as you focus on the gold ring. The rubies were an intense red and it was beautiful. Although that isn’t what made the ring so beautiful. This particular ring was special. It was going to be the first gift that you’d hand made for your husband since starting your new hobby. It had the Fra family crest engraved in the back of the ruby. You squinted as you moved your tools slowly across the expensive material. After awhile you are satisfied with that you had done when you hear your husband approaching from behind. “This is frivolous my love, surely you are not still at this? Think of your duties.” He says as you roll your eyes and cover the ring with your hands. It wasn’t quite time to reveal the surprise.

- Yet you were relentless and It slowly grows on him. He watches as his spouses skills grow and not to mention your natural talent. He’s a bit shocked, almost feeling a bit stupid to even had suggested that you give up this passions of yours.

His birthday, which to him had lost the meaning it once held to him long ago. He an eternal being had celebrated his name day many times but as he aged decades its seemed useless to waste his time on a party he rarely ever enjoyed. A vampire and aristocrat such as himself has no needs for such things. You knew of this and respected your husband’s desire for a non-celebratory day. All he wanted was to enjoy a nice patio dinner with you, and as the night came to close you politely handed the stunning ring you had made. You even made a custom box fitted with velvet. “You are well aware of the fact that I didn’t wish for any gifts?” He said rising a brow at you. Looking at you from across the small romantic table. “Yes, I am well aware Gerhard but I will only wish that you entertain me with opening the gift.” Gerhard sighed, truly you were the only person that could make him engage in such activities. He opened the box with a stern face. His eyes carefully exclaimed the ring, picking it up and admiring the ruby and the family crest engraved into the peice of gold. Before his gently slides it onto one of his fingers. He lets out a small hum of satisfaction as you let out a small breath you didn’t know you were holding. “My compliments to the jeweler.” He said before you smiled “Gerhard I am the one who crafted the piece.”. His eyes widen slightly but his ego won’t let him compliment you quite yet.

- As you start to grow fame, he starts to finally express his appreciation for your craft. Not a lot, don’t expect much but he starts to stop by the workshop on the estate and starts to personally supply you. Making sure you get real gems and the highest quality of metals. It’s the most subtle way to show his care.

- Finally you start getting so many orders and wining competitions, he now will hint at his appreciation with his words. Other lords and lady’s start to talk of the reputation and all the new profits you’ll bring for the Fra name.

- “Yes my betrothed is an exploratory smith, only a fool wouldn’t see that.” He states it as if it’s matter of fact.

You and Gerhard were hosting a Holiday Party as the Fra family occasionally does. Currently Gerhard is left to welcome the guests alone, which he isn’t thrilled about. Where could you possibly be? His stunning spouse not next to him is a crime. He thinks to himself but keeps a straight face and he welcomes all the guests as they exit their carriages. Suddenly he sees you walk down the hallway in a fresh, new, and proper gown. He frowns at you as you walk up to him.“Have you forgotten your duties or do you simply wish to embarrass me?” His tone is always grouchy but Your used to it. This is just who he is. You shrug off the snotty comment and move to stand next to him. “I’m sorry, it was of the utmost importance that I fished a dagger for the lord of house Belmont.” You whisper softly in his ear. Which he ignores as he welcomes the next guest, you quickly followed suit. The Nobel Lady and Her husband walk in, the older Women reached for a polite handshake. You reach out to return the action but before your hands coiled she let out a small gasp. Your eyes shoot down to see a large cut you hadn’t noticed earlier. Now Gerhard and the Nobel look down, Gerhard is immediately embarrassed. How could he not have noticed? The Nobel man places a hand on his wife’s back. “Oh My! Quite the cut, I can only assume it’s from your craft no? I hope this isn’t too impolite but I’ve heard many things, and since this Opportunity had presented it I’d like to order a ring from you.” He says politely, his wife’s smiles as she hears the mention of a new ring. You smile, happy to discuss with the man and Gerhard happy to have avoided an improper situation.

- Finally after years your skills are unmatched and simply renown world wide, techniques are being named after you and you are deemed the world’s best smith. You’re invited to teach and do speeches. Gerhard simply can’t be more proud. The reputation is so good for the Fra name. He still doesn’t express himself much, never a person to let his emotions get the better of him. Yet as his walks into your workshop, seeing all the workers you hired, and filled with customers, he can’t help but feel a bit amazed to be your spouse. (Not that he will EVER say that.)

- He Also helps you buy a shop and manage the money. The business and the reputation will certainly be passed down through the Generations of Fra family.

—— (Married after your received title.)

- Gerhard had heard of you before, your name was iconic among High Aristocats. Due to your reputation of the finest weapon, jewelry and, well just about anything that involved metal. Everyone who was important either had some of your jewelry or one of your fine crafted pieces above the mantle. A talking piece, an exquisite show of craftsmanship.

Gerhard had decided to make a trip personally to your workshop, which was located in the high end of town. His carriage stopped right outside of your shop. The building was exquisite within itself. Mostly made of bricks and glass but lined with unique metal art pieces. Metal framed the building and windows. Along with a hand crafted sign.

He walked in, seeing a couple familiar faces. Other nobles and aristocrats pondering over your vast selection. He spoke to none of them. He simply couldn’t care less as he walked up straight to the counter and requested to speak with you. “Hello, I received a later from the Smith, that I was approved to see them this afternoon.” He didn’t even need to say your name ‘the smith’ was all he had to say and they understood. In a few moments he was seated across from you as you and his were discussing a new pocket watch for him. You were leaned over the table looking down at the papers were you’ve blueprinted the patterns. Talking in depth of every design choice and details. Yet even as foolish as it was he couldn’t help but lose his focus. His eyes eagerly drinking in the way your mouth moved and hands glided across the blueprints.

- Gerhard is not a romantic man by any means. He isn’t big on affection, anything that is isn’t for profit or a duty is simply put on the back burner. He would never tell anyone but he is incredibly impressed by the reputation and craftsmanship.

- This is one thing that will always get his attention is someone who is well rounded and a hard worker. He finds that impressive. Which he would never admit but so be it.

- After a while he starts to visit and order more from your shop. Sometimes just to discus with you, anything really. Eventfully it leads to his proposal but be patient despite how confident he is, it will take a while for him to come up with a proper reason to marry you other than how amazing you are.

- You’ll never know how long it took him to finally ask him. Though if he had it his way you’ll never know.

(Angelico absolutely looks up to you and sees how impressed his father is with your craft and begs for you to teach him. Or at least let him watch you! Please teach him it will mean the world to him, of course things that are only appropriate for his age. But he truly has a fascination and wants to learn!)

[str8rat]

Drawing request, if it is still open: Siffrin becomes aware of the player and tries to talk to them. Make it as harsh or as silly as you want it.

Also, love your ISAT x F&H crossover art, especially Sif's breakdown. God that scene is RAW.

( You. You’re there, aren’t you? Watching. I can feel it. Does it entertain you, dragging us through this over and over? Is this fun for you? )

( You could stop it, couldn’t you? End this right now. But you won’t. No, you like this, don’t you? Watching us die over and over, as if we’re some twisted little game for you to play with. Do you enjoy watching me suffer? My friends suffer? How many times have you watched me die now? )

( Please.. I know you’re there. You have to help me. End this. Just.. let me rest. I don’t want to do this anymore. Please, just let me go. Let us go. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t watch them die anymore. )

Siffrin becomes existentially horrified at the realization that all his decisions, his choices, have been yours all along. His autonomy stripped away, every decision he thought he made was just an illusion of choice. This would shatter him, his sense of identity unraveling.

( Was any of it real? My choices, my thoughts- were they ever mine? Or was I always just.. following orders? Your orders? Am I even me, or am I just a puppet on your string? No, you’re not just some God. You're something worse. You don’t even belong to this world, and yet.. you’re stronger than everything in it. You’re stronger than the blinding Universe. And yet.. you're still here. Why are you here!? )

( Look at me. Look at me! Stop hiding and face what you’ve done. You think you can just watch me bleed, break, and die, without consequences? I see you. You’re here. I’m real, damn it! We’re real! You have no right to do this to us! No right..! )

( Please.. just let me go. I’m begging you. Let me go. Stop watching me. Stop following me. Please please please stop. )

( STOP WATCHING ME STOP WATCHING ME STOP WATCHING ME STOP WATCHING ME STOP STOP STOP STOP!!! )

- - -

i love existential crisis uwu

also thank you for the request and for enjoying my art and my AU ^^

Speaking of, some extra art below that i doodled in class. All related to my isat/funger AU

[kates-dump]

My experience with Analog Horror/ARGs and why you should check them out

Marble Hornets: the classic, and a big favorite of mine for obvious reasons. I cannot stress enough how good and spooky that series is, and the ToTheArk videos gave me nightmares, love it! <3

If you're into Slenderman stories, you should definitely check it out. The acting is very well done and the story is awesome overall :)

The Sun Vanished: the ARG that started my interest for ARGs, and especially enigmas/internet puzzles. Unfortunately I was not smart enough to figure the stuff out by myself, so I just watched explanations on it. Highly recommended if you like post-apocalyptic settings and subtle horror.

The Mandela Catalogue: possibly the series that brought back my interest for these things. I have only watched the first two seasons of it, as I sadly lost interest after a while, but from what I have watched, I would recommend it to those of you who like horror with religious themes (which is a big thing for me) and most importantly, trust issues. Do keep in mind this series deals with more serious and dark topics, though you have probably heard it already.

Local58: the analog horror of all analog horrors, Local58 barged in before TMC took the spotlight. There is so much going on and all of it is very interesting and scary. America's pride leads to its doom, the moon can control electronic devices, and weird creatures spread through the world. If you like stories that leave you not understanding what the hell just happened but loving it anyway, you will love Local58.

Rocket Archives: A single-video series that has unfortunately been taken down for reasons I am not certain of. But if you're curious what it was about, the video presented a reality where us humans were forced to leave Earth with how hot it was getting, and moved to contained bubbles in space. Suddenly, uh oh! The sun's getting closer! Outer Wilds moment! Everything is melting! Humans are gone and the sun is... alive???

Analog Archives: made by the creator of Rocket Archives, has also been taken down but can still be found re-uploaded. The series is slightly similar to Local58, as in it also focuses on broadcast hijacking used for ending off humans. The series also includes a few religious topics that can get very dark. I love it. "Nature Show" makes me tear up with fear every time.

Gemini Home Entertainment: ALL-TIME FAVORITE MOMENT!!! I don't think I need to explain why I love this one so much. GHE leaves a lot to your imagination/speculation, while also twisting your head directly into the direction of the threat and forcing you to look at it while you squirm in fear. GHE is subtle in the most obvious way, obvious in the most subtle way, and most importantly, IT'S COSMIC HORROR, BABY!!! THERE IS A PLANET IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM THAT GOT HERE UNINVITED AND NOW IT WANTS TO EAT US!!! UGHHHH I can't put in words why I think it's so good, it just is. Watch it. The Gardeners are cute, I swear. There's even a plush of them.

Monument Mythos: something something alternate realities, something something time loops. I have not watched all of it, barely even half, but I deemed it a little bit too confusing for my brain. BUT! If you're into things that boogle your mind, you might really like this series! I mean, world monuments are alive, what could be scarier?

Vita Carnis: EW. (affectionate)

But, seriously, if you like gross, you are certainly going to like this series. It's meat, and it's alive. Although, I did stop watching it because it got a tad too graphic and violent for my taste, but if that doesn't bother you, then I recommend it a lot! The editing is soooo good, and some of the creatures are very likable and cute ^v^ (the others are gross and I do not want them near me I do not WANT FUCK OFF)

Don't Look at the Moon: Minecraft spooky. Do I need to say more?

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

So like I am not huge on prison aus, it’s not my personal cup of tea but I just watched Shawshank redemption (and idk if anyone else gets like this where they see a movie and idea fill your head but that’s what happened to me)

A scared, barely twenty year old Eddie Munsons life ends with the clack of the gavel. The eyes of the judge staring and judging down at him, a glimmer of satisfaction in his eyes as the guards on either side of him move forward and take his left and right arm.

He’s in shock.

He didn’t do it.

Eddie Munsons world ends when he’s stripped naked, sprayed down, ass checked and tossed into a cell with his new identity in his hands. The hoots and hollers of other men echoing into his cell as he puts a brave face on.

His father didn’t raise a bitch, even though he barely raised him at all.

Eddie becomes what society wants him to be, after so many years of trying to prove them wrong he becomes the crook that everyone has seen since his birth. Not necessarily a monster but not necessarily an angel either.

The first two years in prison he finds himself in solitary confinement for numerous reasons. Looking at a guard wrong, making the wardens breakfast wrong, getting into a fight, caught fucking around, or his personal favorite talking too much.

The next two years he becomes pretty popular amongst fellow cellmates. Known to be able to entertain when things got boring. Not in a sexual way, as much as that sounded like an innuendo Eddie Munson actually made everyone laugh. With his story telling, jokes or charm. His talkative nature earning friends amongst the crowds.

Which was a good thing, he was living here for life.

Eddie’s twenty five when his world starts spinning again. His brown eyes landing on a newbie. A man whose name was currently blasted all over the radios.

Steve Harrington was a peculiar man. Walked around like he owned the place, something that most men around here didn’t appreciate. Whenever his eyes landed on Eddie, his stomach did flips. The guys joked about how he was pretty much drooling, twirling his hair and kicking his feet all at once when prissy boy was around.

It was no secret that Eddie had a thing for men, it was also no secret that Eddie never fucked around with anyone who didn’t give consent.

It must have been some sick joke from one of the guys, who must have pulled some strings to get the joke done. Eddie had a bunk mate already, one that slept above him and had ever since he got there. So when it was announced he was transferring out Eddie was suspicious.

His suspicions were answered when a certain brunette landed in his cell.

Neither of the say anything to each other the first three nights of sharing the cell. Eddie had taken over the top bunk, an unspoken rule that whoever was there first got it.

Steve slept on the bottom and didn’t put much fight to switching. It’s on the fourth night when the radio silence was broken. It was one of the guys from the cell next to them.

“Do you think they’re silently fucking in their frank?” Whoever had said it purposely made it come out louder so that both men could hear it.

“Nah, you know how loud Eddie gets his men. He’s been caught how many times by the guards?” Another voice returns, it’s further down the hall and Eddie can’t help but roll his eyes.

“Shut the fuck up frank! Or I’ll make sure the guards hear you choking on my fist!”

“Is that a promise pretty boy?!” Laughter goes through out the hall. Eddie’s rolling his eyes before he moves to glance down at the man below him. Who seemed a little red in the face and a bit scared, this was the first time Eddie’s ever seen him hold any obvious emotion to his face.

“Don’t worry sweetheart you’re not my type if I ain’t yours.” Eddie assures. Watching the others shoulders relax a bit.

Eddie’s hair is falling forward, hanging down as he grins a little. Moving his hand forward to the other. Careful not to fall as he holds his balance with the other. “Names Eddie.”

Steve hesitated before he moves forward and shakes his hand carefully. His hands smooth like he’s never worked a day of his life.

“Steve.”

“I know.” Eddie grins as he asks, “so how long you in for. Need to know how long I got before I get a new face coming in here.”

“Oh- uh two years.” Steve answers gently.

“Oh that’s a cake walk, you’ve got this princess.” He winks before he moves to lay back on his own bed.

“How long you have?”

“I’m here until I stop breathing Stevie,” Eddie chuckles as he messes with the guitar pick he had. Scratching at it gently as he listens below him carefully.

“Oh.” A pause, “what did you do?”

“They say I killed a cheerleader,” Eddie answers easily. No longer bothered by answering that question. There wasn’t any point in trying to fight anymore. He was stuck in here forever anyway.

“Did you?”

Eddie snorts gently, “Nope. But lesson number one darling, we’re all innocent in here. Never gonna know who’s guilty until you get to know them, and even then that’s difficult.”

Silence falls over them once more before Steve asks, “how long have you been in here?”

“Going on five years,” Eddie moves and hops down from his cell. Moving to the built in shelf they had and grabs one of his comics.

“That’s a long time,”

“That it is.”

After that conversation things went more smoothly between the two of them. Casual conversations here and there, neither of them bothered bringing up the jokes that other cell mates made about them.

They don’t start to really get close until a year later. When Steve starts to grow out of his own shell and not the manufactured one his father made him. Eddie can feel the slight movement of his life going again, moving a few centimeters every couple of months.

It’s not until eight months after that when he starts feeling alive again. The hidden kisses, the silent moans and gentle touches of Steve Harrington fuel every beat of his heart.

It’s close to six years since Eddie’s been in here, and now he can confidently say that his father didn’t raise no bitch, because he didn’t raise him at all. It’s Wayne Munson who didn’t raise a bitch, he raised a lover.

And boy does Eddie love Steve Harrington. Every time the others hand carefully slides into his pants he feels like he can explode in more ways then just the obvious one. The way he tilts his head back and lets his mouth fall open, he doesn’t let a sound leave his mouth. Not wanting this place to claim anything else from him.

Though it’s not the prison that ruins it, it’s time. Steve’s last night comes way faster than either of them had expected. Both of them lay in the bottom bunk, carefully holding each other. Stars started to dim in both of their eyes as they talk about everything they wished they could do together.

Neither man knows what to do with themselves.

Eddie’s world stops spinning again when Steve leaves, his life leaving with him as he walks out of the cell and doesn’t return. He comes to visit once or twice but it hurts both of them more than it does any good.

Two years pass and it’s Eddie’s eighth anniversary of being in this cell. Cellmates coming and going.

It’s when a man comes to meet him when things start to change. Claiming to work for the innocence project who has gotten evidence (from another case similar to his) that proves Eddie didn’t do it. Eddie doesn’t know all the basics but he does end up walking out the door of that prison two years later. After a lengthy legal battle.

It’s been ten years and Eddie’s now thirty and unsure what to do with himself. Finding a job and place was difficult before he finds himself back at home with Wayne Munson.

Eddies life and world begin again when he hears the knock on his trailer door at the age of thirty five. When his eyes meet Steve Harringtons, whose eyes now have crow feet.

And as they land in his bed minutes later like they were at their prime Eddie lets the world, his world, Steve Harrington hear him for who he truly is.

[tuliptic]

So Much I Miss You

I miss you, even when you have not entered my life, I still miss you.

Guess what? We’re doing Mamamoo’s song this time. This is one of my faves from them and I feel like it would be great to do a reading based on it. I mean… I have not done PACs for quite a long time and am finally back a bit! Will proceed to do the rest but am suddenly in the mood to do a love reading so uhhh… Yeah…

Anyways, we all know the drill. Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: “Who is this potential romantic partner that has not entered into your life?” Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1    -     Pile 2

Pile 3    -     Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever that you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. That aside, I do not consent to my work or here to be used by third parties on this platform or other websites.

Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Kawaii Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made lyrics deck.

Pile 1:

Card of querent: The Chariot

I feel that you’re the type of person who’d be on your toes, knowing where you want to go and how you want to achieve. Constantly moving, constantly pushing yourself to grow. It feels like you’ve been letting the waves bring you along because you were tired or lost. But now you’re on land and you feel like you’re in your element, and now you’re riding the Chariot and redirecting your life to where you want to go, which kinda explains why you can be slightly gungho and excited, sometimes others may even view you as aggressive.

1. What type of relationship will we have? - Nine of Cups

I would say that the relationship is very fulfilling, something like a dream come true. I wouldn’t paint it in a fantasy, love story, happily forever kinda way tho. It’s like… There’s some sort of relief, that you finally met the other person and the other person finally has you in their arms. This person is someone who you’d consider having a marriage with, where you want to be together with them. The emotional fulfilment is very strong and there’s some sort of pampering with each other there.

2. How will I meet them? - The Fool rx

I feel that you will meet them when you’re not really ready for a romantic relationship. You’ll be focused on doing other things and have no time for love, but they’ll just appear there and for some reason, I feel that you may even want to push them away. There may be a conflict between your heart and mind, where your heart doesn’t want to fall for this person, but your brain is telling you that this is a suitable person to have a relationship with. There’s an oracle card here, Love, for you, allowing your heart to open to love as it manifests into the world.

3. What type of person are they? - The Magician rx

This person… I feel like there’s a lot in their head and they don’t really verbally express their thoughts. They may find it… Embarrassing? Like… They want to be pampered but they don’t think they deserve to ask but still they have that thought and the cycle goes on. Self-doubt and cloudiness in their mind as well. Tho I do not doubt the passion they have for you and the relationship you both share. They probably have some Fifth House placement as well.

4. How will I feel about them? - Five of Cups

I feel like… There’s gonna be some not so happy emotions here. It feels like your person will be coming at a time when you’re not feeling like yourself, and you’re not able to really… Enjoy and let yourself be free to accept your person. It’s like you want this person, but whatever situation you’re in is not helping you and you’re burdened with a lot of things, to the point that romantic love is at the back of your head. I think you might even have put interpersonal relationships aside to deal with whatever that’s happening to you. You know you have manifested them into your life and as much as you wanna appreciate them, you were unable to do so full-heartedly.

5. How will they feel about me? - Ten of Wands

Somehow I feel that they may feel tired. It’s like… They’ve tried to be by your side but things don’t seem like they’re working out. They might even feel like they’ve been taken advantage of. Tho I’m seeing this as temporary. Cuz feeling about it is one thing and understanding it is different. They understand that you’re going through hard times and they are determined to walk through this path with you. They may feel upset and all but they kinda put responsibility as their priority. 

But also, one thing I’m seeing is that they know that this is a period of transition and both of you are moving from the old to the new. Which is why they stand strong and stay in this relationship.

6. Our future together, what will they want from the relationship, etc. - Knight of Cups, Three of Cups, Nine of Pentacles

I’m seeing that they would want to build a future together, want the both of you to grow together, in wealth and in emotional fulfilment. I’m somehow picking up that either one of you, or maybe the both of you have been through not so nice childhood, which makes you crave for the emotional fulfilment, for the fairytale romance that’s always shown in the movies. It may sound too naive but I’m seeing that both of you will work towards that goal, wanting the love you both share to be as magical as it seems. And to achieve that, one will need a certain level of financial independence as well as abundance. You two fill in the missing pieces within each other and complete them, contributing equally in this relationship.

The relationship may start with some sort of mystery, but as you grow together, you explore the various aspects of a romantic relationship, finding which love language the other person responds to. I’m seeing that both of you will set some sort of goals and maybe visioning how the relationship will flourish. Love is an open door, and you can just step into the happiness that you’re meant to receive. They would want to wear happiness on your face and show you off to the whole world.

Overall energy: The Star, Page of Cups rx

I have to say something. Tho the cards may not look… good, I feel that the overall vibe and energy for the reading isn’t bad. Like… It shows the ups and downs of the relationship, and not everything has a fairytale ending. I feel that this is the combination of The Star and Page of Cups rx, where the reality is painted here. You two will need to work with your dreams and spirit’s energy to reach your highest good, and to know what’s the best for you. There’s a lot of transits I’m seeing, where you two progress and learn, tho there are times that y’all are content with where you are right now.

A reminder: this reading is not for your future spouse, but for a potential romantic partner who’s gonna enter into your life. So it’s perfectly alright if you do not resonate with this reading.

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Pile 2:

Card of querent: The Tower rx

First thought I’m getting is that you’ve been through A Lot. Each of us have been through a bunch of ups and downs in life, but what you’ve gone through is much more… Heavier than the rest. There’s a certain sadness, coldness, helplessness that you’ve experienced, which have affected your life in ways that you can’t explain. I’m seeing a lot of hysterical screaming and crying as well. This card being here is like… A message. A message to you that it’s not your fault that things have happened, that things have to be broken down only then it can be rebuilt.

1. What type of relationship will we have? - Ten of Swords rx

I’m seeing that this relationship that you guys will be sharing is something… Healing. I see this healing will be more towards a mental and emotional healing instead of a spiritual one. It feels like all the knives that are sticking at your back (you prolly may have been backstabbed by people you’ve trusted, and for some reasons I’m thinking it’s friends rather than lovers) are being pulled out, the wounds cleaned and treated. This relationship will give you the time, space and energy to heal, where they create and introduce peace, prosperity and joy in your life.

2. How will I meet them? - The Empress rx

I feel that you’ll meet them when you’re not feeling yourself. You have a lot of things going on in your life, and for some reason you’ll not see them as a potential romantic partner. It probably may be due to the betrayals you’ve just experienced and hence, losing faith in most things. Most, not all. Which made you put a distance between them and you. I have a feeling that you’ll also focus more on yourself and stop being self-sacrificial during those times, keeping things to yourself. A very introverted energy compared to how you usually are.

3. What type of person are they? - Eight of Swords rx

They prolly will be your type of person lol. They find solutions to problems and they give me the feeling that they’re capable of guiding you through your problems. You not only find a lover in them, but also a friend, a guide, someone who walks beside you and is ready to help you. I see that they’re also someone who will help you out from all and everything that’s restricting you, especially your past beliefs that have been pushed onto you ever since your childhood. They’re open minded, but not freely open kinda thing? They’re willing to try certain things up to a certain level, but still will opt for the safer option or something that they’re more used to. Like… Taking calculated risk but only for a period that they deem safe. Kinda thing. Comfort is a thing for them. Weirdly I’m feeling Taurus vibes lol.

4. How will I feel about them? - Queen of Wands

You will be attracted by their confidence and courage, a soft and graceful maturity that comes from it. I somehow see a soft glow that’s warm, like the dawn instead of an afternoon bright gaze kinda thing. I see that you may be an introvert and they would probably be slightly extroverted than you. Just… Slightly. Lol. But they are capable of socialising. Very good interpersonal skills, observant and can capture your thoughts easily. It feels like they’re someone who you want to be? With those skills and charisma. It’s like they’re a dream that you wanna achieve, and you find inspiration from them and thrive to improve yourself better. 

5. How will they feel about me? - Knight of Swords rx

I’m seeing that they are observant of you and are able to zoom in to the quiet power you hold, being firm with whatever beliefs you hold. Not to go uhhhh NSFW but I feel like they may feel morally challenged with you at times? They may be interested in some risque acts in places that don’t seem to be appropriate. They wanna try a lot of things with you, but will not push it when you say no. I’m also seeing some dominance here? They may also wanna feel that rush of adrenaline in the sense of “conquering” you. I hope I’m making sense with my words here.

6. Our future together, what will they want from the relationship, etc. - Knight of Wands, Four of Wands rx

They’ll want to go on adventures with you, grow with you and experience a lot of new and old things together. I’m seeing some travelling through memory lane kinda thing? Where you two constantly revisit certain comfort memories. You two may go on spontaneous trips together when you two are feeling like it, and you two complement each other’s energies well, working with one another’s dreams to reach the highest good of you two. Sometimes, you two may have some differing opinions, but you guys are able to look at things from different perspectives, from outside the box, and figure out how to solve the problems together. Tho not gonna lie, you two may have some over-spending from all those spontaneous trips, and will learn the lessons together. Whatever difficulties you two experience will make you two grow stronger, connecting your dreams to the next. Whatever tears you have right now will teach you the importance and preciousness of happiness, making you find the reason to live and love.

Overall energy:The Emperor, Six of Wands

The Emperor here gives me the “conquering” kinda feeling. It’s giving me the vibe that this person isn’t as harmless as they appear to be. But they’re proud of you, and you’re proud of them as well. There’s also some form of glow up from this relationship as well, where you improve yourself so that you can stand on equal grounds with the other person, but they’re also doing the same for you. I’m also seeing a lot of attraction and there’s some sort of fulfilment that you two find in each other. It’s like,,, you two are meant to be, that it’s natural that you two end up together, like it’s common sense. For some reason I’m also seeing love letters? So maybe one of you may have words of affirmation as your top love language.

A reminder: this reading is not for your future spouse, but for a potential romantic partner who’s gonna enter into your life. So it’s perfectly alright if you do not resonate with this reading.

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Pile 3:

Card of querent: The Devil

First thought I’m getting here is Lilith in 1H kinda vibe. You know who you are, and there’s some devilish charm that you put to great use. Badass, sexy, sultry, seducing vibes. You pay close attention to your heart and mind, not allowing fear to distract you (cues Lesserafim’s I’m Fearless). Straightforward, not hiding, out under the sun and making things your way. You know your cards and you play them well, mainly to protect yourself. But remember, some mischief of yours can accidentally cause a fire so please exercise caution. 

1. What type of relationship will we have? - Seven of Wands

There’s some sort of challenge I’m seeing here? Where you challenge each other and push each other to be better. But unlike Pile 2, this “better” is like… To be able to win against the other person. You two prolly have some form of conflict or competition going on. Highkey giving me enemies to lovers kinda energy. You two also persevere through the waves, where you two protect each other when someone wants to come in between you two. It’s like… “I’m the only one that’s allowed to win against them,” kinda energy, protective yet fiery.

2. How will I meet them? - Five of Cups rx

You’ll be meeting them when you’ve forgiven yourself and move on from whatever that’s been hurting you. This hurt is something that has been running deep in you and you’ve been held back by it, focusing on something else in order to forget the pain and disappointment that you’ve experienced. The reason for this pain is cuz this is something that has been running in your roots, something in your family that has affected you and has made you change your perspective of the meaning of Family. Perhaps there’s some form of betrayal? 

3. What type of person are they? - The Lovers rx

The Lovers rx really gives me the enemies to lovers vibe. A chance that this relationship can begin is that they’re not a typical lover. They’ve seen you at your worst, at your lowest, and know what your anger is like. And probably knows that you two complement each other’s goods and flaws. They accept who they are and their feelings for you, being open to new possibilities and welcoming new beginnings, especially new beginnings with you. They may be hard on you during the enemies phase, but once they’re in a relationship with you, they will not hesitate to pamper you.

4. How will I feel about them? - Queen of Pentacles rx

You’ll actually admire them with how they hold themselves, how they put themselves as their first priority. Some people may think of them as ruthless, self-centred, and for some reason I’m also picking up that some will also see your person as someone who’s unwilling to socialise. You may also think so at first. But as time passes, you’ll notice that the so-called self-centred is just them not willing to compromise as it will harm themselves and their loved ones; unwilling to socialise is cuz those kinda socialisation is energy draining; ruthless is just because they stand on their ground to fight for their own rights. You’ll slowly notice the quiet energy they have and how they don’t care about being misunderstood, which slowly draws you in, feeling secure having them by your side, supporting you.

5. How will they feel about me? - The Moon

There are a few words I’m picking up from here: mysterious, emotional, bubbly, charming, lovely. They find you charming and adorable, loving how you surround yourself with a certain mystery that is not… Attacking? Lemme try rephrasing myself. There are some mysteries that throw yourself into danger or unpleasant feelings when you try to uncover them. But not you. Your mystery is like a gift to be unboxed, allowing the bubbly and loving side of yours to be shown. They will also notice your emotional outburst is because you were wronged or justice was not on your side, and I’m seeing that they’ll be hella protective over you. You two may also share a past without y’all knowing about it. Maybe you two met before when you guys were kids? Or maybe a past life as well. They’ll find this nostalgia with you when they’re with you.

6. Our future together, what will they want from the relationship, etc. - Five of Swords rx, The Chariot, The High Priestess

I’m seeing that you guys may want to put down the swords, the fights, and to love you like the typical romantic partners. Y’know, instead of all the teasing and challenging and sometimes wanting to fist fight the other person, they wanna bring you out on dates and have fancy dinners and maybe go on a ferris wheel and kiss you kinda thing. It may sound cliche but they want to pamper you, to answer to your love languages. They appreciate you for who you are and enjoy being with you when you’re being yourself, being comfortable in your own skin. 

I’m also seeing that they have every intention to pursue this relationship with you, and prolly at a rather quick pace. There’s something that will trigger in them, letting them know that you’re the person that they wanna be with for the rest of their life, wanting you to be in their future plans as well. That’s when they start to push for the relationship and to marry you in the future. You may not know but their feelings for you are real and they love you more than you think it is. Unlike the other piles, I’m seeing there’s a marriage happening for this pile.

Overall energy: The Star, Justice rx

This reading gives me a warm, fun and honestly, fanfic kinda energy. You two shine bright in each other’s eyes, which kinda lights up the competitive streak in you two. But once you’ve gotten together, you guys will be siding with each other. It’s like us against the world kinda energy. You two are down for anything the other person wants to do, no matter how… Not good it can be. The passion for individual wins evolved into a passion for winning together, and this transition happens smoothly. You guys spend no time being confused, or questioning if this relationship will work. They’ll remember whatever promises they’ve made with you and will follow you wherever you wanna go. 

A reminder: this reading is not for your future spouse, but for a potential romantic partner who’s gonna enter into your life. So it’s perfectly alright if you do not resonate with this reading.

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Pile 4:

Card of querent: Justice rx

First question that I wanna ask you is that have you been treating yourself right? Been feeding yourself good food, staying hydrated, having enough rest? Cuz it feels like you’re not doing justice to yourself. You’re prolly in a burnout as well with you trying to focus on others instead of your own priority. Alternatively, you may also be facing some injustice yourself, where others took your credit and put the blame on you. Tho I’m seeing more of you not treating yourself right, or have been self-sabotaging. There’s also a chance of you not willing to take the best course of action. But whatever that you do, it’s causing you distress and you feel like you’re unable to find a way out.

1. What type of relationship will we have? - Seven of Pentacles

You guys will have a solid, grounded and fruitful relationship. You’ll put in the effort and work hard together to achieve what you aim. I feel that you two will know the importance of working the relationship together, knowing that the effort put in equates to the strength of the bond in relationships. Like,,, you guys do not take things for granted, and will learn that love is not just words but actions, and caring for someone is much better when you do things instead of like… Having empty words. The passion is there, but there’s an earthly, practical sense to it as well.

2. How will I meet them? - Ten of Cups

One funny thing about this was that when the card fell out, it was in reverse. But when I took it and placed it on the uhhh… Place where it’s supposed to be (spread and all), I placed it upright. And it felt right, so I went along with it.

With all that happened, it felt like the timing was right for things to happen. You’ve experienced unhappy times (and uhhhhh it’s VERY unhappy times), yet you still grit through them. It was difficult, but you decided to make changes and twisted your fate, being in content with yourself and your found family. And because of that, you were able to welcome this new person into your life as you were in a better place to manifest your dreams and desires (aka them, and other things, of course).

3. What type of person are they? - Nine of Cups rx

I feel that they’re someone who won’t be satisfied easily. They have a direction they want to head to but no final destination, which in a sense, means that they’ll constantly want more, constantly aim for more. For example, they’ve already gotten the job they wanted, then they’ll slowly climb the ladders, wanting to earn more. Firstly, they wanted to be able to afford a new phone, then a new car, then a new house. It’s like their goals keep growing and hence they need to continue improving themselves, not gonna stay satisfied wherever they are. I’m also seeing this in a sense in y’all’s relationship? But they’re more harsh towards themselves, feeling like they’re not doing enough, not loving you enough.

4. How will I feel about them? - Six of Swords rx

You may feel overwhelmed and have some trouble walking away from it. There’s a certain mystery in them that lure you in, probably there’s some eighth house synastry between you two, and that draws you in. I’m not sure what had happened, but there definitely was a time where you wanted to walk away from them, believing that you’re not suitable for them. Which… Actually isn’t. But yeah, with this, you may also feel some sort of inferiority with them, tho that’s not the case with them.

5. How will they feel about me? - Eight of Cups

You’re someone different, someone special who came into their life. They were walking away from things that have been tying them down, and they were afraid to have you in their life, tbh. They were afraid that they’d hold you down, weigh you down with whatever that’s happening with them. But despite the fear, they still want to welcome you into their life, inviting the magical you since you showed up and they took it as a sign that you’re meant to be with them. I’m seeing there’s some form of walking away from trauma together.

6. Our future together, what will they want from the relationship, etc. - Knight of Wands rx, Five of Swords, Ten of Swords rx

Honestly,  there’s a lot of fighting energy, a lot of conflict I’m seeing here. However, I don’t feel that there’s anger. The conflict is mainly due to impulsivity and fear. Lemme try to illustrate it.. Uhhh… For example, you’ve gotten into this relationship for like three months and you’ve already wanted to live with them, which you do. However, you guys barely know each other and you realise that the quirks they have frustrates you. Like, they do their share of housework but the way they do it just makes you oof. And as you continue living with them, you notice the differences you have in thinking. It’s like you two are from two different worlds and have different ways and views on how the world works. 

You guys can feel defeated by everything that’s happening, but if it’s resolved well and healthy boundaries are placed, the future will be a comfortable one. Sometimes, you’ll need to fight for your love, fight the expectations and filters of love that you’ve had, face the reality, and believe that there’s no fixed definition of love. It’s an open question and you’ll need to figure out which works for you, and what works in this relationship you share with them. I’m seeing that if all goes well, the future between you two will be very down-to-earth and realistic.

Overall energy: Death, Six of Wands

There’s pain, change and rebirth I’m seeing here. I think the Death card really symbolises the various changes and transformation you’ll experience in this possible upcoming relationship, and that you guys can come out victorious as long as you guys put in the effort. I feel like the word “effort” appeared a lot in your pile. No matter what happens, know that you both are divinely guided, and that your intuition will show you the way. It feels like a lot of challenges will be coming for you guys, but as long as you guys are constant with the effort to put things together, you guys will be fine. It’s alright to remain as who you are right now, because the you right now will grow up to tackle the problems at said time.

A reminder: this reading is not for your future spouse, but for a potential romantic partner who’s gonna enter into your life. So it’s perfectly alright if you do not resonate with this reading.

[corruptedcaps]

Possessive

Oh, quiet your whining. I'll give this body back to your girlfriend when I've completed my unfinished business or whatever. You think I want to possess your Rebecca’s body? It's so dorky and unathletic. Don't forget that I used to be head cheerleader before I died, so this is a huge step down in my eyes. It's not my fault her body is the only one I could possess.

But let me tell you something, I won't waste this opportunity. Being stuck as a ghost as so dull, and now I get to experience the living again. Sure, her body might not be perfect, but I'll make it work. And hey, I'll even bring some of that cheerleading spirit into her life. She'll thank me later when she's the most popular girl in school. So, quit complaining and let me do my thing. I promise you, I'll give her body back in top-notch condition. Besides, it's not like you have any other options. You want me gone? Help me finish my business, and then I'll leave you all alone. Deal?

How am I supposed to find out my unfinished business if I have to be stuck in your girlfriend’s clothes? That's why I went shopping for clothes more my style. It's not like I can roam around in those frumpy outfits of hers. I need something more alluring and fabulous. More my liking. Her body actually isn’t as bad as I thought. Especially after I hit the gym with it. Only a week in and it’s already more flexible.

So, I hit the stores and picked out some seriously sexy clothes that will make her old wardrobe look like a joke. Picture this: a sleek, black leather mini-skirt that shows off her now toned legs. I paired it with a low-cut, crimson crop top that accentuates her nearly perfect curves. Oh, and let's not forget the stilettos that add a touch of sophistication and make me feel powerful.

But the real showstopper is the crimson lace lingerie set I bought. What a peek? Of course you do. It's daring, it's fierce, and it's exactly what I need to remind myself that I'm still desirable in this world. It may be Rebecca's body, but I'm the one wearing it, and I'm determined to make the most of it.

So, here I am, looking fabulous, ready to take on the world. This unfinished business won't know what hit it once I get started. Oh, and don't worry, I'll return all of Rebecca's clothes to their boring place in the closet when I'm done. But until then, this body is all mine, and I'm going to make the most of it.

I was finding it hard and frankly boring trying to figure out what unfinished business I had so I recruited my old friends to help. I must say, it's been quite entertaining to see how easily I've manipulated them into following me, all without them knowing it's me inside Rebecca's body. It turns out that all she ever needed was a strong personality at the wheel.

My old clique fell right into line, just like the good old days. They can't resist being around the "it" girl that I’ve made Rebecca into. It's amusing to watch them compete for my attention, trying to be the one closest to the new popular girl. It’s kind of hawt making them bend to my will as Rebecca, when only a few weeks ago they were her bullies.

They listen to my every word, take my suggestions as law, and treat me like a queen bee as they should. I've perfected the art of a withering stare and a cutting remark that leaves them quivering in their boots. They want to be me, to be close to me, and they're falling over themselves to earn my approval.

I know you're mad that I've been taking so long, but you can't deny the improvements I've made to Rebecca's life, her body, her social status. Look at how she's thriving now, thanks to me! Besides, it's not every day your girlfriend becomes the center of attention and the most sought-after girl in town, you should be happy.

I get it, you miss the girl you knew, but let's be real, she was never this captivating. With me in control, she's more confident, more assertive, and more irresistible. I may be in her body, but I've taken it to heights she never dreamed of reaching. Never in a million years would she had tried out for the cheerleading team let alone run it like I do now.

Plus you can’t say you’re not happy with how hot I’ve made her. Weeks in the gym has given her an even better body than I had before. Her naturally slender frame was crying out to be whipped into shape. Plus look at the added effect it’s had on these tits, aren’t they glorious?

Tell you what, why don’t you touch them? Hell, give them a good squeeze. Oh fuuuuck yessss just like that. Bet Rebecca didn’t let you do this. You’re getting horny for bitchy little Rebecca aren’t you? Go on big boy, show me how much you love what I’ve done to her by taking out your dick and stroking it for me. Oh my, that’s certainly bigger than I expected from you. Yes stroke it for me baby, stroke it for baddie Becky. Oh you like that don’t you? Becky is a much better name don’t you think. Cum for me baby, cum for Becky.

You can’t be mad at me for making you cum every day this week, I’m just doing what comes natural to me, which is being a hawt piece of ass. Plus I’m not forcing you to do anything. I know you’ve been looking up ways to exercise me from Rebecca’s body to try and soothe your guilty conscience but I’m sorry to tell you babe, I’m never leaving. It’s my body now.

I’ve realized my unfinished business is to live a long and full life as Becky, the ultimate bitch. Come closer, darling. Look into my eyes and see the fire that burns within me. I’m more alive now then she ever was and even more than I had ever been in my own body. Being Becky has been the best thing to ever happen to me and soon it will be for you too.

You see, while you were busy searching for ways to banish me, I was doing my own research. Those books you've been reading, the ones on magic and exorcism, well, they caught my interest too. And I've delved into the dark arts, learning things that would make your skin crawl.

I now possess power beyond your wildest imagination, and I must say, it's quite liberating. I've discovered spells that can bend the very fabric of reality, including one that allows me to remove someone's morals. It's a fascinating little trick, and I believe you'll find it quite enlightening.

Like right now I’m sure you’re feeling all urges to purge me from this gorgeous body I’ve perfected just evaporate from your mind. In fact you feel a deep devotion to me, Becky, your gorgeous girlfriend. As much as I love that dick of yours i need a man to match it but don’t worry, I’ve got that all worked out. I’m a matter of moments you’ll be my handsome, strong and arrogant boyfriend who loves to bully as much as I do. You’ll have no memory of Rebecca or the loser that she was. All that you’ll remember is Becky.

Oh, darling, you know how much it excites me to see you bullying others. It's hard to keep my hands off you when you're radiating that aura of arrogance and charm. Who would have thought that beneath that sexy exterior, there was a deliciously dark and handsome bully? The way you sneer at those lesser souls, mock them, and make them tremble in fear—it's a work of art. Ugh I can’t stand it anymore, let’s get back to your car and fuck, it’s so hawt to hear you yell out Becky!

[rpstartersinc]

* 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝟑: 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐.

feel free to change pronouns / wording! potential spoilers!

" it is said that surprise is one part secrecy and one part speed. "

" we are engaged. "

" what is your sour expression for? "

" for how long has this been going on? "

" until he knows the real you, he cannot possibly love you. "

" is that lady whistledown? "

" it is anything but common to be a lady who speaks her mind. "

" what the city lacks in natural beauty, it certainly makes up for in entertainment. "

" who needs fresh air when there is fresh gossip? "

" i hope you are thinking pure thoughts. "

" i think of you as the family pet. "

" that was not meant for your ears. "

" no one has ever stood up for me like that. "

" i will always stand up for you. "

" because [ pet name ] is watching. "

" would you be nauseated by the idea of marriage for yourself? "

" there is no better feeling than the truth. "

" do i look a mess? "

" the decorations are somewhat more drab than i remember, are they not? "

" it seems you host a hell of a party. "

" perhaps she would love to be unmasked, the power, the infamy, freedom to do whatever she wants. "

" i could not keep that secret for more than an hour. "

" there is nowhere else i would rather be. "

" i am always pleased when people take my advice. "

" know thine enemy. "

" ladies do not have dreams. "

" i have loved you since the moment we met. "

" i will spend a lifetime begging your forgiveness for not seeing you sooner. "

" were you ever punished as a child? "

" if you wish to repent, you must go inside the church. "

" you are clearly just envious that i have made something of myself. "

" of all bitches, dead or alive, a scribbling woman is the most canine. "

" i do not wish to ruin things for you. "

" not every attachment must be dramatic and hard-fought. "

" i do not spend much time in society. "

" i cannot imagine what anyone would judge you for. "

" well, this is one of the more amusing parties i have been to. "

" i want to be worthy of you. "

" if you thought revealing my true identity would stifle me, guess again. "

" gossip as i might, i always tell the truth, and i cannot tolerate a lie. "

" you do not sound like yourself. "

" i hope you know that my care for you is not contingent on your aid. "

" patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. "

" i am not uninterested in exploration. "

" in this world, it is every person for themselves. "

" in my defence, your mother does not like me. "

" if i am to be bold... i shall need some time to think about it. "

" there's no such thing as true love, without first embracing your true self. "

" you are putting yourself in danger being out here tonight. "

" the smell of fermented fruit emanating from your person would indicate otherwise. "

" it is not your footman's fault - i slipped in. "

" i suppose you got all the good joints in the family. "

" i love weddings. "

" would you like to say how you really feel now? "

" why do you look so vacant? "

" making peace is a relief. "

" simply tears at losing another friend to marriage. "

" love is not finite. "

" please do not make me love you more. "

" i have not had time to meddle. "

" i have spent so long clinging to walls like this i do not wish to do that any longer. "

" i do not think i have it in me to greet any more guests. "

" do you know what it is like, to have no where in the world you can truly be yourself? "

" whatever you think you know, you are incorrect. "

" clearly, my word is not one you choose to follow. "

" i cannot wait for the quiet. "

" i no longer trust anyone but myself. "

" that must feel terribly lonely. "

" perhaps we might aim a little higher with our positive thinking? "

" i am not so petty. "

" it is certainly not my place to give or withhold a blessing on the matter. "

" how do you stand society events? "

" i have not come on happy business. "

" some have told me they do find release from deception a comforting feeling. "

" what you and i have done is not different. "

" what you have done is a crime! "

" it is a great regret of mine, that i have overlooked you for so long. "

" we have done the best we can with the opportunities that society has afforded us. "

" perhaps we are more alike than i care to admit. "

" one day, you too will have a heart. "

" just being you is enough. "

" i do not need you to save me, i just need you to stand by me. "

" you would truly allow me to succumb to such a fate? "

" i am beginning to care for you, [ name ], as more than friends. "

" it felt good, for once, to want to commit to someone. "

" does your silence betray that you know something that i do not? "

" the more i learn, the more i realise how little i know. "

" i know it is no laughing matter, what i have done. "

" gossip is information. "

" what is life without a little gossip? "

" i have been envious of you. "

" how lucky i am to stand by your side and soak up even a little bit of your light. "

" i shall join you in your hiding place, then. "

" it has been quite a journey we have taken together. "

" are you old enough to read that? "

" i have my moments. "

[ponyosmom35]

show him

Simon Ghost Riley x reader

Liability series chapter three!

synopsis: reader is struggling with the aftermath of disrespecting Ghost. Everyone seems to avoid her now. Gaz and Soap come to the rescue and enlighten her about Ghost.

Link to full Liability series!

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733401347573088256/simon-ghost-riley?source=share

She walks into the lunchroom, her back aching. She’d been with a soldier all day dealing with an impalement. She was able to save him and keep his vitals stable. She made herself a plate of the food being served, it was taco Tuesday her favorite day of the week. Walking over to an empty table and sits down, she looks over her shoulder at the others staring back at her. She’d made quite a reputation for herself as rumors spread around that she’d spoken to Ghost. She rolls her eyes, feeling like she was back in high school all over again. 

“Hey ankle biter what are you doing over here?” Soap asks as he plops down across from her with a plate packed to the brim with food.

“Hungry?” she asks 

“Starved” he says inhaling his first taco

“I don’t think anybody wants to associate with me right now” she admits “feels like high school all over again”

“Eh fuck em’, they don’t know what to make of you lass. Nobody speaks to Ghost the way that you did, plus there ain’t many young American beauties around here” he adds, she rolls her eyes and sets down her food. 

“He’s hated me from the moment I got here, I shouldn’t have done it but I’ve had enough, someone needs to take him down a peg” she explains causing soap to cackle. “That you certainly did, you’ve got quite a reputation round here. You’re the bravest person here, I’m surprised you survived, LT ain’t one to take back talk” Gaz says as he sits beside her.

“Hey Gaz” she says 

“I don’t know how you did it, I work with the man everyday and you’d never catch me mouthing off to him, look I’ve got chills just thinkin bout it” Gaz says showing them his forearm

“Whats his deal?” she asks “I mean the mask, the attitude? Why is he like this?”

“Not my story to tell love” Gaz says with his hands raised in defense

“LT doesn’t hate you, he wasn’t trying to be rude, he just comes off that way” Soap explains

“What do you mean?” 

“Ghost ain’t afraid to speak his mind, doesn’t matter if it hurts. He’s blunt and straight to the point. He takes his job seriously, this is his life. He’s got high expectations of everyone he works with. He doesn’t accept failure, he doesn’t entertain anything less than perfection” Gaz says

“How am I supposed to be perfect with him breathing down my neck? I’m not one of his soldiers, I mean who does he think he is?” she exclaims angrily 

“He’s the greatest fucking solider I’ve ever seen” Soap says defending his leader

“Ghost isn’t some random LT bossing people around, the guy is fucking lethal. He’s the greatest asset the SAS has, there ain’t nobody in the world like him” Gaz explains 

“He’s a fucking legend, half the world is terrified of him” Soap adds 

“Great, now I’ve got a target on my back then?” she asks 

“He’s not like that love, you’ve just got to earn his respect. It’s tough but once you do, there is nothing that man wouldn’t do for you. He’s a loyal motherfucker, does anything for his team, there is nobody else I would want leading me into war. You just have to give it time, you’re here because you’re good at your job. We’ve all seen it, now show him” Soap says placing a hand on her forearm “you got this ankle biter”

“Stop fucking calling me that” she laughs 

“How about ginger snap?” Gaz asks 

“Even worse! You guys are so unoriginal” she responds, finishing off her taco. In the time they’d spoke, Soap had demolished at least seven tacos and a side of dip. 

“Jesus take a breath” she jokes 

“No time” he responds before standing up

“Where are you going mate?” Gaz asks 

“Seconds” he deadpans, staring at them like they were crazy

“He doesn’t joke about taco tuesday” Gaz says nudging her shoulder to cheer her up. She sends him a smile.

chapter 4:

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733948907969740800/my-sisters-keeper?source=share

[ayaisokay]

The Kids Aren't Alright

* ~ I'm sorry for making this ~ *

Doomers & Fatalism

Regardless of your age, you need a reason to move forward. You need hope. Yet, it's hard to find hope for teens and young adults.

Not a year goes by without an update on the planet's decline (at our hand), wealth is only feeling more unstable and unequally distributed, a pandemic destroyed any hope of sociability for some, and social media does more harm than good when it "connects" people.

There's no true community, nothing to take pride in, there's hardly motivation for ambition or wealth. Hell, we grow up being told we'll be a generation of renters, because it's a statistical improbability than any of us will EVER afford a home without working 3 jobs into our grave.

I can't speak for America, but I know my government haven't made any real effort to prevent renter's from taking that news and slowly inflating rent costs each month.

I'm a part of the generation that is thought to deal with the broadest range of mental health concerns; however, I'm also part of the generation that's most likely to be told to "deal with it," or "grow up," by the people perpetuating our suffering, or the peers that fell victim to toxic hustle culture— enabling the shitty circumstances.

When you start adulthood with so many problems that directly impact your life, most of which come at no fault of your own, you'd hope for help in addressing those matters, but it never comes.

We're told we're lazy, we don't try hard enough, and we've got it easy (which is a demonstrable lie). How is it any surprise we became hopeless doomers? At some point you just get the idea that we were destined to fail.

Threats of War

Now we're told to be ready for World War 3 and I'm struggling to understand why. What values am I defending? Why should I die for a country that doesn't care about me?

Sure, Ukraine and Palestine are in shitty situations, but saying that doesn't require me to do anything. Though they demonstrate something: the government will risk our lives for money, and turn a blind eye to genocide if it suits them.

All that matters is that we're made to feel like our interests align. They don't represent us. They represent themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I don't support either conflict, and I sympathise with the aforementioned nations; however, I am not willing to die for them— I don't think you are. So is it even fair for us to bother complaining? It's not like diplomacy has done a thing so far.

Whether we're roped into a war or not, it doesn't feel like we'd have a choice.

Hobbies and Corporations

Normally I'd propose finding an outlet for everything. I'm not sure that's ideal anymore. Commonplace hobbies like gaming, sports, martial arts, reading, and art, they require 3 things: time, motivation, and effort.

Thanks to hustle culture, holding 3 jobs, running a drop shipping business, and abandoning any meaningful social life is considered just enough and reasonable. That doesn't leave time for personal hobbies, entertainment, or time to actually live. A life like that is no life at all. You're an animal operating on the exclusive goal of survival. You're alive, but you're not living.

Among those of us too physically or mentally scarred to work like our peers, we compassionately took to pen and paper, or software and devices, writing stories, drawing and animating worlds, or making music.

I fear that pocket of joy is getting smaller. AI image generation has already impacted artists, AI voice recreations are already being used in place of some voice actors, and we've all seen the AI voice covers for songs— claiming "you don't need to learn to sing." It didn't take long for me to see "generative AI" being proposed as a source for track samples and stems in music production.

Considering such things, it's hard to motivate yourself to put your work out there. You struggle to justify spending time creating anything, and you're probably not ready to put the effort into producing enough algorithm optimised works per day. After all, no one will see it. No one cares.

That's how it feels.

Social Media

Maybe we still have digital spaces? Really. Are cespools like Twitter spaces you can enjoy? Even Tumblr is quite detached, with small accounts struggling to get so much as a couple likes— nevermind a reblog, and god forbid you get a comment or DM.

That's minor though, it's the relationships that bother me. The ability to lock someone out of your life, within 5 seconds, for the slightest of perceived infractions. You're sensitive and a snowflake if you need boundaries, and you're "rude" and "mean" when you're pushed too far for not establishing them.

You can join a fandom or community and run into those issues, but do you really need more trouble? Ive hung around with furries since I was 13 or 14. It wasn't a furry that SA'd me, and I've never been groomed. But as a child online, I was labelled as a dog fucking groomer (at 15), because I was in a furry community discord server. I don't like to think about how that made the young adult owner of the server feel.

Social media is good for "satirical trolls," who take pleasure in hurting as many people as they can, and then claiming it's OK because they're joking, and you should've known. Is it really worth the effort for anyone else? You know, us "normal people," not bogged down by million strong fanbases, actively managing parasocial relationships and morally questionable stalking.

Closing Statements

I'm not entirely sure why I wrote this post. I guess I'm just another girl crying on the internet when I should save it for the therapy I can't actually afford.

I want to be hopeful, to feel like there's something attainable to desire, or even just things to look forward to. It's been a long time since I woke up and felt there was a good reason to be awake or even alive.

Thanks,

- The Girl That Doesn't Exist