#i think humans are inherently good :D hes just an asshole

[asksuccubussides]

What if you were an asexual succubus, wouldn't that be fucked up or what Chapter 3

Masterpost of chapters

(Cw: There's a short Remus section towards the end with imagined violence and references to sex)

Etymology, psychology, Hauntology. These were all topics that Janus adored and he'd managed to fit them all into a single essay assignment. He should be bursting with the urge to write about it, But he wasn't.

He was sitting in bed with an empty word document open in front of him. Even though it was nearing noon he still hadn't changed from his night time clothes and a headache was building at his temples from staring at the screen for so long.

The thing was that he could clearly see in his mind each sentence he wanted to write to the point that he could vizualise every word one after the other. It was only when it came to actually moving his fingers to type it out that he froze. All his teachers had always-

"Dude! I think I just found even more proof that def proves that the occult is real!" Virgil exclaimed while barging in through the door.

Virgil's voice was constantly hoarse and he always smelled slightly of coffee and cigarettes even though Janus had never actually seen him smoke. While he carefully closed the door behind him his black bangs hung down in front of his eyes, like if the monster from the ring had short hair, and his overly big hoodie loosely clutched around his shouldero like usual. He always looked like he'd either sprinted away from a tornado just now or hidden away like a mouse for 5 hours.

He was a man who desperately wanted to slouch until he was invisible stuck in the body of a tall, boney and annoyingly noticeable man.

"Ough...I wasn't uhh interrupting you was I?" he asked when he noticed Janus sitting with the word document open.

Janus immediately closed the laptop and threw it aside "most definitely not! In fact I have done absolutely nothing today except for wait for someone to disrupt me"

"Great. Okay so dude I was checking up on some of my normal paranormal sites yeah? And I found this video. Definitive proof I'm telling you"

While Virgil took out his phone to show him Janus moved the blanket on the bed aside to make room for the other man to crawl under. (Like they always had done when they were kids). Though Viv just took an awkward look at Jan before sitting down on the floor with his back leant against the bed so Jan had to lean over his shoulder to see the video.

It was some grainy cctv footage taken of a parking lot during a late night. A seemingly normal person walked past but stopped by a random part of wall far away in the distance. After a few seconds it sort of looked like the person walked through the wall and disappeared.

"See? Ghosts!"

"Oh please, I could manually count the amount of pixels in that video. It's just a trick of the light. Besides Virge your source evaluation is horrible, it could be an edited youtube video for all you know"

"Right. let me just get a peer reviewed paper out about this 20 second video out real quick"

"I'd be one of the peer reviewers if you asked me to" Janus replied with a smile.

"Duh dude. I know you would be. Not like you have anything better to do"

Jan fake gasped "A daring accusation! A proper rude one as well! For your information my schedule is incredibly packed!"

"Yeah yeah" He waved his hand around while rolling his eyes "Anyway, I got an update on that ufo sighting as well"

--

The morning after Remus had fed he woke up in a groggy haze with his eyes all in blur and with his head feeling like it had been stuffed with cotton. Roman had been sitting beside his bed but as soon as she saw that her brother had woken up she left without even giving him a chance to say anything.

Instead Remy had stayed by his side for the rest of the morning, or the equivalent to morning that hell had. They hadn't asked about the feeding or what had happened afterwards. They had just laid down next to him in bed and started telling him about the latest gossip and drama between the various succubi.

Eventually Remus put on some background music, (an experimental band from the rage circle that used stuff like bones and bottles of piss as instruments), and started making paper-war machines while listening to them talk. He only butted in with a comment or dirty joke every now and then, the important thing was that they knew he was listening.

"Soo like yeah girlie. That's the tea. Their breakup was so messy they both got sent to heaven. Fucking rough. Think that's all for now. Wanna switch?"

"Yayayay! Ranting time"

The friends swiftly changed positions so Remy chose the music (they put their hand against the speaker so they could feel the bass) and Remus set aside his paper makings to focus on rambling and stimming. He began to tell them about the latest torture methods he'd come up with which included showing them the paper models he'd made of the torture devices.

'But like who you torturing?

'Humans! Oh and angels!"

'Not angeeelllss' Remy pouted a little 'They're so cute'

'Your whole brain is a tumor dude'

'Even with a tumor brain i would still be hotter than you.....Also what's a like tumor?'

Remus shone up at the chance to explain 'Well to make a long story longer it was discovered in-'

'Great girl just keep talking just like that' Remy laid down with their head against his chest and closed their eyes with a relaxed smile playing on their lips.

"You can't even read my lips from the- Eh whatever. Imma just keep ranting" He laid his arms around their back and kept talking.

Remy could still remember the sound of Emile's voice but by the time the twins appeared they had long since been deaf. If they focused really hard they could sort of make out an idea of what Remus' voice should be like. The way his chest heaved in for heavy breaths bretween quick and jumbled sentences. They way his neck and throat moved when he spoke. The amount of lip movement he did.

They liked to think of his voice as shrill and annoying in the best way. His voice should be quite high in constrast to Roman's deeper though just as expressive voice.

It took Remus poking at them several times for them to actually open their eyes again and to their happy surprise they saw that Emile had come back. They could read on his lips that he said "The new puppy hell hounds were so precious! You two really have to go see them later"

"Sup slut" Remy greeted while wrapping their hand around their partner's tie to bring him closer.

"Hi honey" He gave them a quick kiss before letting himself be pulled down beside them. Remus immediately showed him the war machines he'd made out of paper and Emile complimented the creativity of it all.

Emile laid his hand against the speaker and felt the bass of the music his lover had choosen. He knew one of Remy's favorite things still was music (no matter how many times demons made snarky jokes about how ironic it was) so whenever his lover put something on he at least tried to 'listen' to it in the same way they did. He let himself feel the instruments pump up from his hand into the rest of his body and let the words being sung melt into melodies of the bass.

'I like this song'

'Yeah duh babe. It's Carly Rae Jepsen, you always like love her....As should everyone'

'I think I saw some demons in the uhmm....whichever ring it was, it sounded similar to hers'.

Remus started to smack his tail against the ground out of boredom as he noticed the couple zoning out into their own little conversations.

It was like watching an old married couple that had slowly grown entangled into each other. Lungs and bones slowly morphing together over the years. Sometimes Remus caught Remy humming on cartoon intros even though they couldn't name the cartoon if asked and even though Emile prefered not to eat or drink he still argued that decaf was the worst kind of coffee one could ever drink whenever it was brought up.

Unlike the succubi Emile didn't have a tail nor the ability to conjure wings. His horns were shiningly light pink and frayed at the ends as if small thorns were protuding out. His skin was so dark it made his smile look like stars in the night sky while his clothes were always in light shades of orange, brown and pink making him look like he was stuck in an outwashed version of the 60s.

He was "Like sooo much man. A lot of man" as Remy put it and when asked said he'd worked as an earth observer some half century and a bit ago which was why he knew so much about humans....Well knew and knew. He'd spent most of his time observing the rise of Disney, Hanna Barbera and animated films and had gotten really into psychology and medicine after having a nasty walk in with Sigmund Freud at a party. He still argued that Remy had been the inspiration for the Sleepy dwarf in Snow white.

"Hi Ro-Ro!" Emile waved as he saw Roman come into the sleeping quarters.

She gave the tiniest of waves back to him before adverting her eyes as far away from her brother as she could. The other three demons watched as she basically jogged past to get to her bed.

"There he comes"

Roman quickly grabbed a change of clothes and jogged out of the room again without even passing another glance to them.

"Aaaand there she goes"

'silent treatment huh' Remy signed to Remus.

'Perfect time to annoy him'

'Pretty sure it's objectivly not' Emile added in.

'What does he know. He goes on and on bla bla bla about how much he enjoys humans' Remus mimicked barfing 'But he's never even eaten enough food to take a shit! I have! I am basically connected to humanity now! The shit is what brings us toge-'.

'Okay gross. Too gross. Go girl. Get outa here'.

There was a mischevious grin on Remus' face as he jumped from the bed and skidadadled out of the room. The couple looked at each other, Emile sighed to which Remy shrugged.

"HeY! Hey! HEY! HEY!" Remus repeated as he ran up alongisde his brother. He kept shouting into her ear even though she did her best to not give any reaction. "Whatcha doing? Where you going? Why you such a pisshat?"

"Can I just get like one day without you" Roman finally replied.

".....Hmmm...Lemme think.....No! Why are you even pissed at me? I didn't even put any bugs in your clothes this time"

Roman stopped midstep and turned to him "I was having a really nice time you know, until I felt you being all miserable and had to come get you because you can't do the job we are literally created for"

"I didn't ask you to come get me??? Dude?? You're blaming me for your own shit"

"Was I just supposed to-" Roman took a deep breathe and looked away again. His hands started to fix the ends of his shirt to have something to distract himself "I'm not gonna do this today! I'm not! I have a really nice dinner with a historian planned and he will listen to me when I gush about historic eras and it will be good and nice and then we're going to see a broadway show and I won't let you destroy that for me!....Bitch!"

"A date with a human" Remus let up into a toothy grin "Sounds a bit patton-ish to me"

"Don't! I am not breaking any rules! I love human culture! I've never loved a single specific human and you know that! Don't you compare me that- that traitor!"

"It's more fun if I do though"

Roman kept walking towards the door to earth "I'm not letting you do this today!"

"You're no fun!" Remus yelled back as his brother slammed the door shut behind him.

--

"I think it should be ethically okay for me to shoot people with an eye laser if they stare at me for too long" Janus muttered out.

He and Virgil were sitting in the corner of the college classroom as hidden away as possible while listening to a lecture on philosophy. Viv had managed to pull Jan out of bed with the threat that he would definitely get failed at this class if he didn't at least show up physically every now and then.

If Virgil wasn't taking notes he either got anxious about forgetting anything important later, or worse, the teacher getting mad at him. Even though he was an adult man who shouldn't get anxious about not meeting the expectations of authority figures. Honestly Viv's obsessive note taking was probably half the reason Janus was still getting through his classes.

An essay should have been turned in to this class a week ago which Janus hadn't even though he could recite it nearly perfectly in his brain.

"A simply lie would do don't you think. College professors are usually nice like that. Not like our middle school teachers" Janus continued to mutter.

"Dude you were just taking the piss to see how far your lying could get you"

"And it got me some very nice stars in my margin! Thank you very much!"

Janus sent his friend a leering smile to which Virgil just rolled his eyes in return.

"Maybe I should have just let you fail this class as well" Viv teased.

"Aw but you loooove me" He made kissy noises while moving to lean his head against his friend's arm but Virgil scooted further away before he could.

The class ended and Virgil sat back and begrudingly watched as Janus hurried to the front of class to talk to the professor. He knew he wouldn't be able to stop Jan even if he tried.

After just a minute or so Janus returned "I got an extension time of two weeks. I told him my poor mum had caught a bad case of tubercolous and I had been faaar too busy taking care of her to have time to finish the essay"

"Your mum is rolling in her grave"

"If we have the same genetics I am quite sure she is cheering me on actually. I'm just the most innocent man there ever was"

"You wanna go to the library and work on it with me? I have thought of the perfect path of getting from here to the library while still stopping by a shop to get coffee While being seen by the least people AND the coffee shop allows app orders. It's a lifesaver"

"Would love to because there is certaintly no chance in the slightest that I will keep procrastinating"

"Obviously dude. Procrastination are what libraries are for"

--

Remus thought once again what humans flesh must taste like. The only time he'd taken a step into a library or ever used a human phone were both times to try and look up what it would taste like.

He thought about the blood spilling out and the veins bursting. He thought about the skin ripping open and giving way to fat and bone. He thought about if that could feed him instead of having to do this stupid fucking succubus shit.

The human had requested oral sex and he'd obliged even though he vastly prefered doing as little as possible because then he could zone out and think about something more pleasant. He had his mouth around the human's genitalia and the image of him twisting his teeth and ripping their genitalia away filled his mind.

He hated the feeling of the human's hands grabbing him. He hated their stupid hotel rooms and their stupid cars constantly making noise and the stupid fan in the background and the stupid overly bright lights and the stupid fuzzy carpets and the stupid perfume they wore and he hated it he hated it hated it. He didn't understand how Roman could love any of this. Any of them.

Bile filled his throat before the human filled it. He choked and sputtered and pushed away to spit it out on the fuzzy carpet. The human requested something else and he followed along. Selfish selfish beings always wanting more. It made their job too easy.

The human was wearing a cross necklace and when it touched his skin it burned. He gnarled like a wounded animal but the human didn't notice. He wished he could hurt them, even just a little. Like how they always pulled his hair and dragged their nails across his skin and spat and slapped and choked. God, sometimes he thought maybe being sent to heaven would be worth it if he just got to mutilate one of them.

-

The human was long gone when Roman entered the hotel room. He looked around for his brother but all he saw was a messy bed and an emptied out mini fridge. His brother must have forged himself on everything, including the plastic wrappers containing the candy. He nearly stepped on a piece of broken glass and groaned as he realized Remus had attempted to crush and eat a bottle again.

"Dukey I already told you that it isn't safe to eat glass or plastic!" She called out to the empty room before deciding to look in the bathroom.

She pushed the door aside and it gave way so easily it nearly fell from it's hinges. Her brother was sitting slumped over in the bathtub with the water up to his ankles and only his socks on. He was repeatedly lighting matches before throwing them in the water to see them fizzle out. Dozens upon dozens of matches were floating like dead fish in the bathtub.

"..Hey" Roman's voice softened if just a little.

Remus turned to her and his eyes were glassy and his face red. A piece of his hair was missing, probably burnt away by one of the matches. She knew what kind of night this would be.

"Let's get you cleaned up" Ro said before putting his arms under his brother's armpits to try and pull him up from the bathtub. Even though he got grossed out by angels he conjured just the tiniest of wings to help give him the strenght needed to pull Remus to a half stand at least. "I would prefer if I didn't have to be your knight in shitty armor all the time you know"

Remus slurred something out about flesh and Roman tried not to reel at the heavy scent of alcohol. He really had emptied the full fridge. She also did her best to not gag at how greasy and sweaty his hair was even when it got pressed against her nice historically accurate corset.

She tried to make him put on his clothes again but gave up as he slumped over like a ragdoll every time she didn't activly hold him up with all her strenght. She settled on putting her coat around him and hoped he wouldn't get too cold.

There was a wound on his hand that blistered and bubbled. Roman got the urge to hug him but reminded himself that Remus was an adult who had to learn his actions had consequenses and that he couldn't be coddled all the time.

"How many times are you going to burn yourself you stUPID-" She stopped herself when her speech turned into a yell and took a deep breathe "You know what happens! You don't have to experiment about it anymore! It's just the same wound every time! I'm going to have to drag you to Emile to get you patched up now! Are you happy!? Do you just want to give me another headache!? Why can you never make yourself sober once you're drunk! You neVER-"

She got close to yelling again and decided it was best to just not speak too much. She held her arm around his shoulders while muttering the phrase to open the door to hell.

".....Even if I don't always like you....I still love you.....You're aware of that right?" She mumbled out while helping him forward.

He just let out another slurred sentence about flesh.

--

"I get worried someone has put a hex on me late at night when I can't sleep y'know? I know it's illogical but it still gives me the hibbie jibbies" Virgil said.

"'Hibbie jibbies' huh? If I had the chance to hex someone I would do it. No hesitation" Janus replied.

It was close to 3 am and they were using one of the college's shared bathrooms as a make-do hair salon. Viv was standing leant over with his head in the sink. At the top of his head his naturally golden blonde hairhad started to peak through so he had to destroy it as quick as possible. Janus was sitting on the sink counter and had plastic gloves on to help massage the black hair dye into Virgil's hair.

"Who would you hex if you could?"

Janus without any second to think immediately said "Billionares. World leaders. Those sorts of people"

"Fair. Fair"

"Dear you're gonna get black dye on your hoodie if you don't-"

Virgil flinched away as Janus moved to lower his hoodie. He backed off so quickly black dye dripped down from his wet hair onto the entire sink.

His hair hung in thick bangs over his eyes as he spat out "It's fine! I got like 20 of these hoodies" He let out a yawn to seem nonchalant "Can you help me out with that" He waved at the now stained sink "I have to shower this out"

"...Sure"

Janus watched as his friend went into one of the showers and drew the sickly blue curtain between them. His bare ankles could still be seen with his light blonde leg hair peeking through. His veins were so noticeable through his pale skin and Janus got stuck watching the way the muscles in his feet moved and how the skin stretched over the bones as he undressed. He stuck his arm out from the curtain and held out his hoodie and boxers.

"Could you ta-"

"No problem" Janus interrupted while taking the clothes.

He folded the hoodie before using all of the paper left in the paper dispenser to try and clean the hair dye stains away. The sound of the shower running filled the room.

Correlation does not imply causation. Janus knew that very well and yet in moments like these he couldn't help but think that a distance had started growing between him and Virgil ever since he came out as gay. The last thing Jan wanted was his straight (and only) friend to get all paranoid over him making a move. The last thing he wanted was to lose him.

Janus and the notoriously straight Virgil are now open for asks!

[candyskiez]

Thinking about why Separation arc works so well again.

There's already a very good post about how it makes you think it'll have Reigen fail at keeping up the business on his own, and apologize to Mob to get him back because he can't do it without him. Only to have him actually be perfectly capable of running the business by himself without even touching real spirits. But why didn't they do that?

It wouldn't have actually meant anything. Reigen apologizing to Mob wouldn't have meant shit, because it would just come off as using him. Mob going back to him wouldn't be satisfying or a relief. It'd just feel like he was going back to an unhealthy environment. No character development, no actual satisfying resolution.

What they do instead works so much better, and I've been thinking about why. Because I think about this show way too much, let me live.

Reigen was perfectly fine money wise before Mob showed up. Money problems aren't even implied to be a reason why he wants to leave spirits n such. It's all just being unsatisfied. He's restless and unfulfilled, and nothing really catches his interest. And then actual company shows up, and gets him talking to people, and gives him something worthwhile to do.

Most of Reigens worst moments have nothing to do with money. His controlling tendencies come out when he feels left behind or like someone is a better person than him. His toxic traits are so painfully human. He lashes out when he feels like his place in someone's life is in danger, he's not honest because he feels like nobody can love him as he is, and he doesn't try to change because he feels like he's inherently bad and cannot get better. Because of this, he doesn't stop and recognize he's hurting people. He thinks of him being a bad person as Inherent, not actions he can stop doing.

This is why it's so so SO important that there be a moment in the arc where he stops and looks back at how he treats people. He needs to realize that him being Bad isn't determined by just being bad by existing, but by what he says and does. Mob didn't leave because Reigen is inherently bad. Mob left because Reigen treated him badly.

If the Reigen and Mob conflict had been resolved with Reigen apologizing because he needed him for his business, it would've come off like Reigen didn't care about Mob. But because it became clear that Reigen didn't need Mob for his business, it tells the audience that Reigen really fucking cares about Mob AND why Reigen had actually acted the way he did:

Because he was a sad bastard who's scared of being alone.

And also, if they had Reigen just take on a spirit alone, the audience wouldn't have had nearly as much reason to be sympathetic towards him. It would've just felt like Reigen was being an idiot. But because of how they set up Reigen's downfall, we're so much more sympathetic to him. He works hard and gets what he thinks he wants, only to be set up by a guy who he saved the life of. It makes us feel extremely bad for him and like his ridicule is completely undeserved.

It also tells us something about him. Reigen has had so much experience where doing the right thing is punished. Reigen feels like it's too late to be good. Reigen falls into thinking he cannot be good, so he needs to buckle in and keep going. Because it shows Reigen being punished for being good as well as being punished for being bad, it makes what Reigen did feel so much more human. You're more inclined to sympathize with him, because it's not just about money. It's about the fact he was an asshole to his only friend because he felt like if he had other friends, he'd like them more and leave him. And seeing him face negative consequences for Doing The Right Thing as well as the wrong thing makes you understand why he just...doesn't try. If that makes sense lmao.

The way they constructed the arc makes us sympathize with Reigen while he's acting like an absolute asshole, while also setting up Reigen stopping and asking himself "why DID I do this, why DID I choose this path, why DO I treat people like this" perfectly.

Tldr, it's a really good arc.

[mostlikelytofangirl]

I've read fic where JGY was abusive and found it in character. I don't think 'abusive' and 'not abusive' are two separate categories of people. Under the right circumstances, any person or character can exhibit abusive behaviors and, with a long enough time frame and no interventions, their relationship could certainly become abusive.

If the word 'abuse' seems so incompatible with our beloved villains, can we really say we love them as villains if we can't love and acknowledge their capacity for harm?

-Regular Anon

Oh hi there, anon! Nice to see you again :D. Sorry this took so long in getting answered, I've been having a case of Real Life(tm) recently orz.

Anyways, I'm guessing this is maybe apropos of this other ask? In any case, let me just go part by part starting with the last statement bc I actually agree there with you.

If we claim to like a character, there's really no point in ignoring key elements of their personality, right? If we like villains, we like them bc of the fucked up shit they do and how very sexy of them it was, not in spite of. That's why even when I can indulge myself in the occasional fic with a softer canon WRH (bc food be scarce and every treat is appreciated :'))), I don't fully subscribe to that bc that's just not how he is. Even in AUs there just has to be some of his og assholery or at least make the changes make sense.

But here's where my first caveat comes, and it's something I mentioned in my other reply too. The characters' circumstances.

Now, idk what kind of fic you read, and at the end of the day, if it works for you, that's totally cool! I just would have to assume that JGY's life still had some level of shittery to it, or he was going through someting bc really, this is the character that saved a perfect stranger in the middle of the war without any ulterior motive, nothing to offer, and risking his own safety just bc it was the right thing to do.

The entire point of MY/JGY is that he was "corrupted" by a society that left him with only two options: accept your fate as a bottom feeder, or cheat the system in whatever way you can bc you are always going to be inherently disadvantaged. And here's my second caveat:

JGY doesn't read like a villain to me. An antagonist, maybe, but an actual force of evil in complete oposition to the core values of the heroes and actively trying to hurt/stop them? Not really.

So it's not only that, but also the fact that he's a nurturing person at his core that lead me to disagree with the notion that he would be purposedly abusive towards another person unless there's very pressing circumstances that would make it so that his own well-being actually depends on somehow damaging this other individual.

Sorry, but I just don't see it working in any other way.

That being said, yes, you are right, interpersonal relationships are much more complicated than just abusers and victims (despite what some corners of tiktok and twt might say lol). As I also said in that other ask, at some point in our lives, we are all going to be the assholes and even the villains in someone else's story; we are going to hurt those close to use and we are going to make mistakes bc we are humans. But there's a difference between toxic behavior and being a toxic person. So while being a dick bc you had a bad day or bc there's no good communication going on can totally happen to everyone, that's not the same as intentionally hurting and manipulating someone in a systemic fashion fully designed to keep them trapped with you.

THAT is something ingrained in the person at hand, and while there's an entire conversation to be had about nature vs nurture, in JGY's particular case there has been no examples whatsoever in canon to even suggest that that's the direction his character skews towards. On the contrary, he has sacrificed his own desires and needs for those he cares about: being a model husband to QS and never taking a concubine, helping rebuilt Cloud Recesses and creating the watchtowers even if it was unpopular, going to NHS' aid whenever he called despite it being more work for him, never hurting Madam Jin in spite of how she did hurt him, etc. By the end even, pushing LXC away when the man had clearly accepted death with him.

Again, idk the details of the fic you are refering to, for all I know, it's an entire exploration of JGY spiralling down an even darker and more desperate place than in canon, and him becoming abusive towards someone bc, idk, that's the only way in which he can feel in power when his entire life depends on others is the whole point of the thing. And that's perfectly valid too!! What's fiction for if not to explore and go beyond??

I just felt like I should clarify that, while I agree on principle with the villain statement, I don't think it applies to JGY unless there are specific factors playing along, and if those are not met, I personally wouldn't find an abusive!JGY portrayal accurate or in-character.

But once again, that's just my position and I have my preferences and my biases like any other person.

[skrunksthatwunk]

ok so idk if this is a hot take or whatever but i rewatched the rgg movie from 2007 and that shit ROCKS i like it so much more now bc like,, the first time i watched it i was expecting a straightforward adaptation of the first game's plot and that's just fully not what it is at all nor what it was trying to be

like yeah most of the nishiki final boss stuff at the end is pretty underwhelming but it's not about him. it's about kamurocho!! it's about the reasons people turn to crime and the humanity of everyone involved except for jingu lmao and how fucking bonkers mad you feel when it's a little too hot outside and?? sadomasochism??? between the masochist info guy and majima using the same door slamming technique on kiryu that he used for said info guy and then the very very sexual connotations to the majima chestsitting knife dick shot in the bedroom at the soapland I'm just saying there are. implications. like additional ones to the inherent ones of the kazumaji dynamic like yeah!! that's all good. and once you stop waiting on game events to happen you can just like,, enjoy the stuff happening in it. it's a very character-centric movie and that scratches an itch for me.

it's also like wayy funnier than i remembered lol. some of it's not really on purpose like the cg helicopter just skating all over town shattering windows for idk reasons I guess. probably because jingu's an asshole? idk you could probably read meaning into jingu's symbol of power carelessly wrecking kamurocho but i think it's probably just for shits. but like,, the baseball stuff (the scene where majima calls their match a doubleheader and then the subtitles explain what that is for like three lines over like 30 seconds of gunshot footage is fucking top notch) and kiryu's flip phone troubles and the hostage takers requesting nice expensive food and the hostages thanking them and then the cop being like "if they'd asked for anything more expensive we would have taken them out" and all that idk I'm so endeared to it rn

i also find it kinda fascinating that majima is so present in this because like,, to my understanding, before the release of 0 (and therefore before kiwami's majima everywhere system and whatnot), majima was considered this kinda random side character, like he'd just show up whenever and fuck off again like that. he played a much smaller role. he's not even especially important in the og yakuza, and this came out around 9 months before y2 so it's just based on y1 majima's vibe. yet they gave him significantly more attention than nishiki or kazama or even yumi (though all three were sorta background figures it's like they were already ghosts. man kazama doesn't even DIE in this, he just leaves. they make up for him living by making nishiki's hair a casualty bc oh my LORD what was that jdhshsh). truly goes to show what a silly guy does to a mf

(also they actually give majima and haruka an interaction here??? and he's kind to her and kiryu trusts him to not hurt her and she's like "idc I'll beat you up don't fucking TOUCH ojisan" and he's like "well damn. go on then" gah augh love. closest thing we have in rgg to my knowledge is majima kidnapping her offscreen and him [vague rgg5 spoilers] risking his and saejima's lives to save her bc she means so much to kiryu. here he just doesn't wanna hurt a kid)

obviously it's kinda weird to ditch most of the plot/key characters of the game and i don't think it's great that they tried to tie it in at the end how they did but like. eh idk I'm happy with it. it's a good time. i won't argue it's a masterpiece (mostly bc i don't like arguing over whether media is "objectively good" or whatever) but it DOES make me happy :D. so. thanks like a dragon (2007) mwah mwah xoxo

anyway point is it's about the vibes of playing yakuza, which is (for me) about getting immersed in the city and the little side plots of the people in it and whatever and then cramming the plot in last minute :)

[badass-at-fandoming]

Suppose this anon had Beckett brainworms and a growing itch to include him in a piece of writing but lacked the motivation (and time) to track down and read the material in which he appears (except VTMB ofc but that's a given). What would you say are the bullet points of his character? And furthermore, is there anything that would automatically classify as OOC?

Is it my birthday? This asks makes me so happy I feel like it's my birthday. 🥳💜😄

I suppose to start, a pretty standard disclaimer that in the World of Darkness, character consistency is [crashing noise as all previous books are thrown out the window]. That is to say, you can basically do what you want. You're encouraged to mold everything, including meta-plot NPCs, to your taste. Layer that onto the inherent nature of fanfiction and it's god's own country out there, and you're god.

But to not cop out of your question entirely, I do have a preferred interpretation of Beckett. Le bullet points below ~

Snark - "I haven’t as yet had a chance to pore over it with my fine-tooth comb. I think I have one in my bag."

High Humanity - the Single Good Dude in a world of assholes

His ultimate goal is to pursue knowledge - fucking NERD

Good at fighting/surviving - by virtue of being a Gangrel and good friends with Lucita

Annoys people yet...

Wants people to talk to - most of his in-universe friendships are with fellow nerds and good conversationalists with a certain avid zest for life.

Touch-starved - this is like, purely self-indulgent, but I Need It

Shyly cares for others - more shows someone he likes them, rather than tell them

Bisexual Goals - have you seen this list. I'm also fond of trans man!Beckett and aroace!Beckett.

When in doubt, remember what archetype Beckett is. He's Indiana Jones. #WhatWouldIndyDo

For me, the ultimate litmus test for his character is if the work's Beckett would go warn the fledgling in VTMB. Similar to how people test if a Batman writer has earned their salt: "is he good with children? If not, then the writer's just re-creating Punisher."

Beckett flips a lot of stereotypes on their heads. In a Clan all about going feral, he's well-educated and eloquent. In a culture where Elders care little about anything, he practices empathy; in fact, he gets on extremely well with neonates. He loves talking with them about their ideas and experiences. He will drop everything to go save a friend. Hell, he saved his greatest enemy! Has he made mistakes? Of course! Has he committed reprehensible acts in the name of some "greater goal" of acquiring Some Random Book? Yup. But for every mistake, he learns and tries to do better next time. He's kind, in a universe which greatly discourages that behavior.

I could go on, but I don't want to add yet another super long post to people's dashes, hahaha. Best of luck, Nonny! Please post your fic when you finish writing it, because I'd love to read it :D If you have more questions, my ask box remains open.

[khadij-al-kubra]

Storytelling, Fate & Happy Endings

I’m still processing last nights episode (CR C2 Ep140), and much like every critter I’m SUPER emotional about it. But something about last night’s events and how they played out really got to me, not just as a fan but also as a storyteller. And even the day after, i was actually crying (still am crying in fact) more than i did last night watching it happen. At first i thought it was because i’m a fairly new critter and this is my first time watching a campaign come to an end. But the more i think about it and process, the more i realize that’s not just it. This effected me as someone who deeply believes in the power of storytelling and how it can not only effect but reflect the world around us. And because I have to get them out of my head, here are my thoughts on why last nights episode was so important, not just for CR fans but also as a an important narrative for right now.

...Yeah that’s a bit vague, isn’t it? Okay, let me explain. If you’re willing to take the time to read fellow Critters, I greatly appreciate it in advance. ^__^

WARNING: Major spoilers for CR Campaign 2 Episode 140 ahead. Also it’s gonna get kind of meta. And long. Because i have a lot of thoughts & feels.

So I think it’s fair to say that, as much as we would’ve been devastated by any of the M9 perma-dying in the last battle, part of us wasn’t expecting them all to make it out of there alive. Not even the players, I think, despite how much they likely didn’t want that to happen. Just look at the half-resigned way Liam talks about Caleb in the last few Talks Machina episodes. Or how, in game, Jester was fully prepare to die trying to stop the city from coming back. And for a while there, it seemed like some of them might not survive.

But then they did. Despite so many crappy rolls throughout the night they stopped Lucien, set free all the souls trapped in Aeor, saved Exandria, and brought each other back from the dead. Not only that, but they also did the impossible: They saved Mollymauk. Their lost friend who had such a deep impact on all of them even after his death. The delightfully charming asshole who was so full of joy and life and who, despite how the world treated him, was happily determined to leave every place better than he found it. Moreover, they almost didn’t succeed! But then they did, all because of teamwork, love and one last minute ditch effort ‘what-the-hell-have-i-got-to-lose’ dice role that none of them saw coming. And now they get to go home together, truly as The Mighty NINE.

Just this once, everybody lived! We got a happy ending!

And that’s HUGE in game...but also think for a second how that reflects outside of game too. Do you realize what a story like that means to people, especially given the year from Hell we’ve all had?

Think about it. This past year the world has suffered. We’ve all been impacted by the pandemic in some way shape or form, either on small levels or large. Our world has been at war with a virus that effected everyone and everything: Our sense of safety. Our health. Our economy. Our families & friends. Our freedom. (in the sense of our ability to travel & just be in close proximity to people without fear, but i digress) Deeply imbedded social and systematic diseases have been brought further to light in the past year and a half largely because of this virus. Some of us have lost people we love. Hell, the pandemic even effected the way that the latter half of Campaign 2 played out because of social distancing protocols. If you further compare this to Campaign 2, the world of Exandria was caught in the middle of a war that started because of social & systematic corruptions that had been rooted in two opposing kingdoms for years. And so many suffered and died because of it.

Then the Mighty Nein comes in. This ragtag group of delightful assholes with nothing to lose; these flawed but inherently good at heart and deeply human adventurers, broken and lost in their own ways, trying to make a home and family for themselves in a world that took advantage of them or left them alone or said they weren’t good enough...and they changed things. 

They grew. They fought back. They found moments of silliness and peace and joy and fun amidst all the strife and sometimes grief. Most of all, they tried. Sometimes out of necessity, sometimes out of spite, sometimes even out of compassion, but mostly just out of love. And in the end, not only did they help people and stop a war for the sake of their loved ones, but they also saved their world from being destroyed by a rotted perversion of life from the past that threatened to consume everything they cared about. AND they STILL managed to bring everyone in their found family back to life. Does it erase the bad and sad things that happened to them? Hell no! But those things don’t negate the fact that in that moment, they made it out okay. That this was a victory and they won!

Think of what a story like that means to people right now.

I’m personally a pretty spiritual person, and much like our favorite clerics, I also believe in a higher power. But whether or not you also believe in a Divine being, the Universe or whatever, every D&D player believes in one thing: Fate. Luck. Call it what you will. But it was fate that made those dice rolls that saved everyone happen. It was fate that not only stopped Cognoza from returning, but also brought Jester and Caleb and Molly back to life, even when it seemed like it wouldn’t work. (and holy shit that gave me emotional whiplash!) 

After everything they went through, both individually and together, the Mighty Nein defied the odd and demanded that Fate let them save their loved ones. They demanded that the world give them back their friend; That they deserved to have their happy ending & get to go home alive together. Just. This. Once.

As a writer, I know firsthand that there are some stories we find and create ourselves, but then there are stories that have a way of finding us. Sometimes a story or world or character from somewhere in the Aether will pop into our minds one day and say, ‘I need your voice to tell my story.’ Maybe this is just me getting carried away with the meta brain again. And like i said, i’m a spiritually inclined person, so I believe in things like Fate and a Divine Higher power writing out the stories of the Multiverse. If you’re reading this (and thank you for taking the time to do so) maybe you do too. Or maybe you don’t. Either way, if you’re a fellow critter, then you’re clearly a fan of good stories and/or playing Dungeons & Dragons. So you know how fate/dice roles have a big impact on the outcome of a story, regardless of how tightly written a setup the dungeon master makes. Given all that and how organically stories tend to play out in D&D, I genuinely believe that Matt Mercer and the whole CR Team were meant to be conduits for a story where the flawed heroes save the world AND all make it home alive.

And I think Fate knew that we needed last nights battle to end like this. After all the crap we’ve been through this past year, we needed this happy ending, deserved it even! Not just us critters, the CR team too. As much as we all like to joke that Campaign 2 was secretly scripted, we all know that’s not true. Yes, the setup storyline and world were brilliantly crafted by Matt, and the character roleplaying is beautifully acted out by the team. But the twists and turns, the direction it goes, and how the game plays out is all up to fated dice rolls just like any other game. And something, some kind of force of luck, some force of fate, some Universal Divine DM out there made the roles happen the way they did last night.

It gave us a happy ending.

I believe that this was meant to happen; now of all times with everything else going on in the world. Amidst all this darkness and rot, both in game and in the real world, in the end of it all there was light and life. A reminder that sometimes people do live. They do get second chances. They do find a new family or reunite with old ones. That sometimes the world can be saved for a time, and happy ending do still exist. Even if it’s not broadcasted on the daily news amidst tragedy reports, or even tragedies that don’t get reported (which sadly are a lot, but again i digress).

Because the thing is, like Beau said, no one else will probably know they were heroes. No one will know what the Mighty Nein sacrificed to save all of Exandria. But they don’t need to know that for it to still be true, for life to happen again, and for a found family of nine broken people who love each other to go home together safe. It doesn’t invalidate that the good things happened. That at least for today everyone was saved. That flawed people were still able to do good because they tried. That they left the world better than they found it and got their own small but satisfying happy ending. Even if only for now, because we don’t know what’s gonna happen next Thursday. We don’t know what the future will hold for the Nein or Exandria when the Campaign ends or even when (hopefully) some loose ends will be tied up in later oneshots. But neither that nor the bad and sad stuff that happened beforehand in the game and in the character’s lives invalidates the fact that tonight they won. They lived.

So why can’t that be true for us in the real world?

I said earlier that, as a writer, I believe in the power stories have to not only reflect but also shape our world. This story is an example of why, but especially this episode, and that’s why i was so euphoric about the outcome. It wasn’t just a game for me, and i’m sure for others too. It was a much needed reminder that happy endings can still happen in real life, just as much as they can in stories. Even when everything seems dark and corrupt and rotten and hopeless, we can still keep fighting. We can keep trying. We can make new families and start over and be heroes in our on little lives in small ways. 

We can leave the world better than we found it. 

And maybe, with hard work, imagination, luck and a little Divine intervention...we can also get the happy endings we deserve.

[crossdressingdeath]

I saw people talking about the Lan sect rules and how only LWJ was noticed to break them, did you all not notice that LQR, the elders, even LXC and QHJ broke the rules? The thing about the rules is that nobody can follow them 24/7, all the damn time. Who knows what rules you break and didn’t break? That’s not on anyone really. LQR broke the rules in front of everyone regarding the resentful energy debate and everyone excused him! As an educator, he doesn’t practice what he preach. The rule LQR broke? Morality is propriety. Also he talks shittily about wwx’s parents like bruh. Nobody in the Lan think about Madam Lan situation precisely like why she killed QHJ’s teacher, etc. QHJ himself also didn’t investigate and just marry and imprison her. The rule broken? Don’t make assumption. LXC also listens to gossip all around him, so he shouldn’t have the gall to act like the holier than art thou because he sees LWJ broke rules for WWX. LWJ did that, LQR did that, LXC and his father also did that, the whole elders I am sure broke rules too. Not all the rules broken are within their right and sometimes it is important to know that with rules like these acting as governing body discipline (like rise at 5 and sleep at 9 pm is a basic healthy life style for working people commuting) but others such as no killing, don’t lie, it’s supposed like common decency and what humans need to uphold as principles, not rules in the wall where it prevents everyone from lying in situation needed (like absent of gc or gc transfer). Though canonically, everyone even Lan disciples like LJY broke rules too. Even LSZ. Moreso, non Lans like NHS, JC, and other visiting disciples (JZXun, JZXUan etc). didn’t they insult wwx’s parentage and jfm’s rumors thing? And no Lans stopped them and just listen to the gossip or fight going on? Well I could go on but only WWX is punished for every thing in the end. LQR surely isn’t blind that he doesn’t know NHS doesn’t cheat or smuggle porn alcohol etc but he only singles out WWX. It just means they are somehow using the rules to cover up hypocrisy we are supposedly seeing.

though I agree the rules are not harsh, some are unnecessary such as no killing and no lying, but if the authority upholding and witholding the rules are not just, then it’s gonna be corrupt or biased assertion of sort.

I mean, to be fair we don't actually know that QHJ didn't investigate what happened with his teacher because we only know the most basic of basics regarding that situation. And I don't remember LQR talking about CSSR at all beyond maybe a sort of "Just like your mother, she was a troublemaker too" type thing, which is... y'know, accurate, not talking shit. And I don't think LXC really does listen to gossip (accepting the word of trusted associates as fact is not the same as gossiping). And he does not have a holier-than-thou attitude towards LWJ breaking the rules for WWX! His issue is that LWJ is committing treason and could end up heartbroken or dead! Concern for your sibling is not the same as being holier-than-thou! LXC's issue is with the fact that as far as he can tell WWX is toying with LWJ's feelings, not the fact that LWJ's breaking rules!

As for "others such as no killing, don’t lie, it’s supposed like common decency and what humans need to uphold as principles, not rules in the wall where it prevents everyone from lying in situation needed"... anon, allow me to introduce you to a little thing called laws. There are laws that are only on the books so that people know where to assign fault if something goes wrong, and there are laws that are in place so that people know what the punishment should be. Name one society that doesn't have rules in place regarding things like killing. And the rule against lying is a principle thing? It's more like... "you are expected to hold to these principles as a Lan cultivator". It's setting out expectations. Like a dress code; you go into a job knowing that you are expected to wear a certain sort of outfit, and by taking the job you are saying that you understand that and will wear that sort of outfit. Same deal here; Lans are honest, this is a known thing, if you want to join the Lan sect you have to be honest and if you're not prepared to do that you shouldn't join the Lan sect. Also uh... there is no evidence that the Lans can't lie in situations where they absolutely have to, what? We know Lans can break the rules in circumstances where that becomes necessary! Unless you're arguing that every Lan who participated in the Sunshot Campaign then had to be punished for all that killing. Which I hope you're not, because that would be... stupid. And we know they do lie; LSZ would be in deep shit if Lans couldn't lie, because it would be impossible to keep the fact that he's a Wen quiet if LWJ had to tell everyone who asked where he came from! It's not a fucking magical compulsion, it's a rule they choose to follow to the best of their abilities! Like how murder is illegal but self-defence is okay, there are times when breaking a rule is the best option and there are additional rules in place to allow for that.

And you say only WWX was punished for the cheating and the smuggling of alcohol and smuggling porn, but a) WWX is incredibly open about it, b) WWX is the only one mentioned as smuggling alcohol, c) WWX isn't actually punished for smuggling porn because only NHS is mentioned as doing that and he's VERY VERY GOOD AT HIDING THE FACT THAT HE'S DOING IT SO HE'S NEVER ACTUALLY CAUGHT (you say that LQR "surely isn't blind" like that means he must have noticed, but you're forgetting that 1. LQR isn't actually omnipotent and 2. NHS's whole thing is being insanely good at hiding what he's doing; don't assume he was obvious enough to get caught, especially when he's been through these classes multiple times and presumably knows all of LQR's usual tricks for catching troublemakers), and d) there's... nothing to say the other disciples weren't punished for cheating. LWJ caught all of them. WWX is specifically mentioned as being punished because a) he's the protagonist so of course he is, b) he's a repeat offender and repeat offences generally do lead to a heavier punishment, and c) LQR (correctly and definitely understandably) pegs him as the ringleader; WWX is being punished for heading the thing while the others are just punished for participating. That's... not unreasonable. (And yes it was NHS's idea but LQR doesn't know that, now does he?)

The guest disciples probably get away with more because they didn't sign up for how strict the rules are, not because the Lans are being hypocrites. Hey, remember how WWX blatantly breaks a bunch of rules right in front of LWJ on his first night only to get off scot-free because he claimed (likely falsely!) that he didn't know the rules yet and the only real consequence was that LQR then read out all the rules the first day of class so that he could ensure everyone knew the rules? WWX benefits from the laxer standards on guest disciples too, it's just that he's far more determined to cause trouble than everyone else! Also the other disciples don't insult WWX's parentage or talk shit about JFM's supposed favour? Because WWX is in fact incredibly popular? Like, I think you're underestimating just how much people liked WWX before the Sunshot Campaign! This man was insanely well-liked by his peers! It is only the Jiangs and assholes like JZXun who have an issue with him based on his parentage or position in the Jiang sect! Hell, the novel expressly states that him being head disciple and the son of the sect leader's childhood friend in addition to how young people aren't as bothered about status and ancestry meant that he was pretty much accepted as an equal right away! The closest thing to someone talking shit is JZX's "Doesn't [JFM] treat you better than his own son or something?", which he clearly doesn't even fully believe himself (the "or something" suggests he's parroting someone else's words in an effort to hurt, not stating something he believes wholeheartedly himself), and the Lans aren't so much standing around listening to the gossip as they are trying to pull JZX and WWX off each other. Also I don't think JZXun is even mentioned as being there but whatever, he might have been one of the nameless disciples in that scene.

Basically... are the Lans all perfect paragons of justice and honour? Of course they aren't! They're people! People are going to be petty and harsh and unfair, that's just what people do! But people seem so determined to treat them as this awful, hypocritical, cruel mess of a sect who use their reputation to bully people and I just do not get it! "Strict but fair" is the most accurate summary of how the Lan sect works, and yes, sometimes individual members are petty about it and everyone in the sect sometimes breaks the rules because again, they're human, no one can uphold all those rules all the time, but everyone in the sect signed up for that and if they find they can't handle it they leave the sect. Like... guys. Strict does not inherently mean they're hypocritical and awful. Come on.

[elizabethrobertajones]

hi! is their any good lore or (more likely) what's your preferred headcanon on the metaphysics of demons? what actually *are* they, that is different from human souls they're made from, yet allows them to basically have human-like personalities in some cases (and be completely rabidly evil in others)?

Honestly the last few years have left me at “people be like that” and how hard is it anyway to convince someone who was already an asshole who got sent to hell that they’d suffer less if they inflicted pain back, and leaning into that will get you sick supernatural powers to do more evil with, and before you know it all these incel weirdoes who had an unhealthy murder-suicide pact in their head with the barista who had never even talked to them except to take their order and give them the side-eye when they stared too long, are in a weird one upmanship culture with each other about who can eat the most babies or whatever Hell’s current Evil Fad is in order to be the Most Alpha Bad Demon.

Which makes it a pretty chilling commentary before it was even fully in the epoch for pop culture commentary, on how society and herd mentality are warping people into terrible monsters, and many of those people are people who maybe would have been sympathetic and vulnerable and probably bullied and insecure a long time ago, but instead of being helped they’re put into this mill that twists them and feeds their insecurities and tells them who’s to blame for them and gives them a new sense of purpose and a club to belong to that for the first time they feel powerful and accepted and need an autocratic ruler to worship and follow and the only condition is to mete out pain? These people who’ve been filled with pain all their lives and would like nothing more than to lash out against everyone they perceive has hurt them?

I think the show has actually got into this a bit from the start with the Psychic Children stuff, and how Yellow Eyes was following them around bothering them and making their lives horrible in order to twist them or at least make them feel outside and alone and different. Like, after the Mary incident and seeing how John took up arms, he didn’t have to do SHIT with Sam until he was an adult, but some of the kids had had him whispering to them since childhood, probably because they were living too stable middle class comfortable lives and needed a push. Max for example didn’t have any known contact from Yellow Eyes though because he also grew up in an abusive home, and the people around him did all the work to turn him into a killer as soon as he had special powers to pay it back to those who hurt him. 

A lot of the season 1-4 messaging was very much how Sam and Dean were good men because they had been put through this or sent to hell and how they struggled against what they thought might be their nature either from basically birth for Sam or the abuse Dean was put through (Dream a Little Dream very clearly showing how Dean could be someone who was ripe for demonisation just from his upbringing even before the torture because he had these things which could be twisted to make him evil if someone was going to manipulate him)... Sam’s side was all based on magic bullshit and he turned out to be mostly good all the way through even when he was being very very bad, but Dean’s struggles always were framed through this. Like the season 7 episode with Jeffrey, who was very strongly paralleled with Dean and put attention back on him having been a torturer in hell long after the main narrative had moved on from Dean’s trauma. But even when Dean did get demonised through magic bullshit it still was more based in his character than the way Sam struggled through knowing he should be a good guy and wanting to be a good guy and just always finding more magic bullshit in the way when he tried. 

So I think you can say this is sort of the reasoning the show’s always given for how demons end up like that... Like, Ruby being a witch with a demon pact before she died meant she was very in control of herself and probably needed no torture whatsoever to pop back up as a demon because she was already willing to do these horrible things. Likewise idk if it was confirmed Rowena was a demon or just a dead soul in Hell who was too scary to fuck with, but either way she was allowed to just waltz onto the throne without any real process of suffering because she was so well suited to it from her life, even if her death was a heroic sacrifice and she had become a better person in life, she was still a blatantly hellbound soul and then once there blatantly a step above MOST souls Hell would ever be lucky to get their hands on. Dean on the other hand was someone who would resist at every step and have to be seriously broken by prolonged torture to ever even start him on the path. Rowena might not even NOTICE the day she slips from human soul to demon :P 

I think back in season 10/11 there was more of an effort to suggest cosmic nonsense and the balance of hell to heaven and demons to angels and amara to chuck, giving Amara similar looking powers to demons with black smoke especially, and of course Dean and Cain being demonised as just an inherent part of their souls being in contact with her. No one ever laid down any ground rules about this but I suppose the magical process has to be at least somewhat borne out since Lucifer had the Mark at one point when he started making demons, so probably the Darkness has its spooky fingers in the mechanics of all this somewhere. But the psychological aspect is far more interesting to me. :D

[arotechno]

I don't know if it's cringe to wax poetic about your own writing, but I'm going to do it anyway. I am going to be spoiling the entirety of The Heartless, so I encourage you to read it (and reblog it/tell me what you think :pleading emoji:) if you haven't, otherwise this post will spoil it. I've just been thinking about it a lot, a year after I really got back into writing it, and I have some (lengthy) reflections on humanity and philosophy and being a good person.

The Heartless has always been a very personal story to me, and I really wanted to get it right, and that's part of why it took me so many tries to complete a version that I was happy with. The first version of the story went quite differently; I was 16 when I wrote it as a short story for a school assignment, in 2015 at the rising peak of d*sk h*rse on tumblr. In the original version of the story, Basil doesn't even exist. Bertrand lives. The story ends abruptly, post-assassination, because I had to write the entire thing in a day so I could turn it in on time. But the important distinction, to me, is that at the time I had only identified as aro for about a year. I was still really coming to terms with it, and since then as I've grown and changed and learned, Ace's story has too.

It was important to me, as I was writing The Heartless this time around, not to paint things in black and white. If Ace was going to question what it meant to be human, I wanted to explicitly divorce love from morality. You have someone like Marcus, who irrevocably sucks despite being "normal", and you have someone like Esther, who is kind and generous and has her own complicated experiences with love. Even Carita isn't necessarily bad, she just doesn't understand and has some prejudice to work through. There's Bertrand, who's kind of an asshole but a good person deep down, and Knife Boy, who learns and grows maybe more than anyone else in the story relative to how long he's "on-screen", if I'm being completely honest, but whose experiences overlap with Ace's in interesting ways. There's a grey area; I wanted everyone to seem sympathetic in some way (except Marcus, all my homies hate Marcus), because it was important for Ace to realize that being Heartless didn't make him demonstrably different from everyone around him. He makes mistakes, big ones, life-altering/life-ending ones, but it's not because he's Heartless. He's not evil or cursed, just human, and being human all along doesn't make him inherently good or more pure, but it doesn't erase the obvious differences between him and the people he meets, either.

In another story, Ace would have learned that "love was in him all along", that maybe the love potion DOES work on him, that maybe he DID have a heart all along and either he had blocked it out or he hadn't accepted that his love was "real" too. But I didn't want to do any of that. It matters that Ace is never "cured" or "changed". There was never anything wrong with him, and whether or not he "did love all along" doesn't matter. The point is that we're people too, and being a person is messy and hard but it's pretty cool, too. Ace strives to do what he believes is right, and actively beats himself up about it when his actions don't measure up to his morals. He chooses to be kind, not in spite of being Heartless, but in many cases because of it.

That was a really important lesson that I had to learn, too, and part of why I find voidpunk relatable as a subculture. There are plenty of people who would seek to dehumanize me or define my experiences as something broken, bad, or cursed. But I'm not cursed, and I'm just as much of a human being as anybody else, because I was born that way. As Basil himself says, love has very little to do with it: we're alive, and that's all there is to it.

Anyway, sorry for ranting about my own story. I'm sure that's a little self-centered. I have just been thinking a lot lately about voidpunk and lovelessness as a philosophy and the way my own experiences with dehumanization came through in The Heartless. It's just a really special story to me. I used to spend a really long time trying to patch holes in the original telling, and trying to find a way forward through a sequel or extended version, but what I came to realize was that things had changed so much that the story needed to change too. It's a story without an end; there isn't a final answer or a simple solution that will bring the equality and understanding we deserve. I couldn't write a definitive ending because there isn't one. We just keep moving forward, trying to live the best we can, and working together as a community. And as long as we know who and what we are and we don't let anyone else define that for us, then we'll be alright. I think that's the story 16-year-old me needed to hear, and I'm happy that I'm in a place now where I felt equipped to tell it.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Lucifer/Satan

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Please allow me to introduce this villain. He’s a man of wealth and taste...

Satan, or Lucifer, or whatever of the hundreds of names across multiple religions, folk tales, urban legends, movies, books, songs, video games, and more that you choose to call him, is without a doubt the biggest bad of them all. He is not just a villain; he is the villain, the bad guy your other bad guys answer to, the lord of Hell. If there’s a bad deed, he’s done it, if there’s a problem, he’s behind it. There’s nothing beneath him, and that’s not just because he’s at the very bottom of Hell. He is the root cause of all the misery in the entire world.

And if we’re talking about Satan, we gotta talk about Lucifer too. They weren’t always supposed to be one and the same, but over centuries of artistic depictions and reimaginings they’ve been conflated into one being, a being that is a lot more layered and interesting than just a simple adversary for the good to overcome when handled properly.

Motivation/Goals: Look, it’s Satan. His main goal is to be as evil as possible, do bad things, cause mischief and mayhem. Rarely does anything good come from Satan being around. If he is one and the same as Lucifer, expect there to be some sort of plot about him rebelling against God, as according to modern interpretations Lucifer fought against God in battle and was then cast out, falling from grace like lightning. When the Lucifer persona is front and center, raging against the heavens tends to be a big part of his schemes, but when the big red devil persona is out and about, expect temptations to sin, birthing the Antichrist, or tempting people to sell their souls.

Performance: Satan has been portrayed by far too many people over the years to even consider keeping count of, though some notable performances of the character or at least characters who are clearly meant to be Satan include the nuanced anti-villain take of the character Viggo Mortensen portrayed in The Prophecy; the sympathetic homosexual man portrayed by Trey Parker in South Park and its film; the hard-rocking badass Dave Grohl portrayed in Tencaious D’s movie; Robin Hughes as a sneaky, double-crossing bastard in “The Howling Man�� episode of The Twilight Zone; the big red devil from Legend known as Darkness, played by Tim Curry; the shapeshifting angel named Satan from The Adventures of Mark Train who will make you crap your pants; and while not portrayed by anyone due to being entirely voiceless, Chernabog from Disney’s Fantasia is definitely noteworthy in regards to cinematic depictions of the devil.

Final Thoughts & Score: Satan is a villain whose sheer scope dwarfs almost every other villain in history. It’s not even remotely close, either; Satan pops up in stories all around the world, is the greater-scope villain of most varieties of three major religions, and his very name is shorthand for “really, really evil.” Every other villain I have ever discussed and reviewed wishes they could be a byword for being bad to the bone. Even Dracula, one of the single most important villains in fiction, looks puny in comparison to Satans villainous accomplishments.

Satan in old religious texts tended to be an utterly horrifying force of nature, until Medieval times began portray him as a dopey demon trying to tempt the faithful (and failing). Folklore and media have gone back and forth, portraying both in equal measure – you have the desperate, fiddle-playing devil from “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” and the unseen, unfathomable Satan who may or may not exist in the Marvel comics universe who other demons live in fear of the return of. Satan is just a very interesting and malleable antagonist, one who is defined just enough that he can make a massive, formidable force while still being enough of a blank slate that you can project any sort of personality traits onto him to build an intriguing foe.

One of the most famous examples of this in action is the common depiction of Satan as the king of hell. This doesn’t really have much basis in religion; he’s as much a prisoner as anyone else, though considering how impressive a prisoner he is, he’d be like the big guy at the top of the pecking order in any jail for sure. But still, the idea of Satan as the ruler of hell was clearly conceived by someone and proved such an intriguing concept that so many decided to run with it.

I think that’s what truly makes Satan such an interesting villain, in that he’s almost a community-built antagonist. People over the ages have added so much lore, personality, and power to him that is only vaguely alluded to in old religions to the point where they have all become commonplace in depictions of the big guy, and there really isn’t any other villain to have quite this magnitude on culture as a whole. It shouldn’t be any shock that Satan is an 11/10; rating him any lower would be a heinous crime only he is capable of.

But see, the true sign of how amazing he is is the sheer number of ways one can interpret him. You have versions that are just vague embodiments of all that is bad and unholy, such as Chernabog from Fantasia, you have more nuanced portrayals like the one Viggo Mortensen played in The Prophecy, you have outright sympathetic ones like the one from South Park… Satan is just a villain who can be reshaped and reworked as a creator sees fit and molded into something that fits the narrative they want. I guess what I’m trying to say is that not only is Lucifer/Satan one of the greatest villains of all, he’s also one of the single greatest characters of all time.  

Now, there are far too many depictions of Satan for me to have seen them all, but I have seen quite a lot. Here’s how Old Scratch has fared over the millennia in media of various forms, though keep in mind this is by no means a comprehensive or exhaustive lsit:

“The Devil Went Down to Georgia” Devil: 

I think this is one of my favorite devils in any fiction ever, simply because of what a good sport he is. Like, there is really no denying that Johnny’s stupid little fiddle ditty about chickens or whatever sucks major ass, and yet Satan (who had moments before summoned up demonic hordes to rip out some Doom-esque metal for the contest) gave him the win and the golden fiddle. What a gracious guy! He’s a 9/10 for sure, though I still wish we knew how his rematch ended…

Chernabog: 

Chernabog technically doesn’t do anything evil, and he never says a word, and yet everything about him is framed as inherently sinister. It’s really no wonder Chernabog has become one of the most famous and beloved parts of Fantasia alongside Yen Sid and Sorcerer Mickey; he’s infinitely memorable, and really, how can he not be? He’s the devil in a Disney film, not played for laughs and instead made as nightmarishly terrifying as an ancient demon god should be. Everything about him oozes style, and every movement and gesture begets a personality that goes beyond words. Chernabog doesn’t need to speak to tell you that he is evil incarnate; you just know, on sight, that he is up to no good.

Quite frankly, the implications of Chernabog’s existence in the Disney canon are rather terrifying. Is he the one Maleficent called upon for power? Is he the one all the villains answer to? Do you think Frollo saw him after God smote him? And what exactly did he gain by attacking Sora at the end of Kingdom Hearts? All I know for sure is that Chernabog is a 10/10.

Lucifer (The Prophecy): 

Viggo Mortensen has limited screentime, but in that time he manages to be incredibly creepy, misanthropic… and yet, also, on the side of good. Of course, he’s doing it entirely for self-serving reasons (he wants humanity around so he can make them suffer), but credit where credit is due. The man manages to steal a scene from under Christopher Walken, I think that’s worth a 10/10.

Satan (South Park): 

Portraying Satan as a sympathetic gay man was a pretty bold choice, and while he certainly does fall into some stereotypes, he’s not really painted as bad or morally wrong for being gay, and ends up more often than not being a good (if sometimes misguided) guy who just wants to live his life. Plus he gets a pretty sweet villain song, though technically it’s more of an “I want” song than anything. Ah well, a solid 8/10 for him is good.

Satan (Tenacious D):

It’s Dave Grohl as Satan competing in a rock-off against JB and KG. Literally everything about this is perfect, even if he’s only in the one scene. 10/10 for sure.

Robot Devil:

Futurama’s take on the devil is pretty hilarious and hammy, but then Futurama was always pretty on point. He’s a solid 8/10, because much like South Park’s devil he gets a fun little villain song with a guest apearance by the Beastie Boys, not to mention his numerous scams like when he stole Fry’s hands. He’s just a fun, hilarious asshole.

The Howling Man: 

The Twilight Zone has many iconic episodes, and this one is absolutely one of them. While the devil is the big twist, that scene of him transforming as he walks between the pillars is absolutely iconic, and was even used by real-life villain Kevin Spacey in the big reveal of The Usual Suspects. This one is a 9/10 for sure, especially given the ending that implies this will all happen again (as per usual with the show).

The Darkness:

While he’s more devil-adjacent than anything and is more likely to be the son of Satan rather than the actual man himself, it’s hard not to give a shout-out to the big, buff demon played by Tim Curry in some of the most fantastic prosthetics and makeup you will ever see. He gets a 9/10 for the design alone, the facty he’s Tim Curry is icing on the cake.

[victorie552onepiecespeedrun]

Reading One Piece pt 221: “My Body… Won’t Move…”

Chapter 468

Thoughts:

- Chapter title says we’ll see Chopper vs Hogback. Destroy him, Chopper

- Fpos/cs: What. “Energy surges into an ancient town” Why do I see a bunch of chibi soldiers presumably waking up? What does it mean??? What are they doing on the moon??? Was Old Professor from the moon then? What a f*cking coincidence that would be. Does that mean Enel will have army of chibis now? I was just about done caring about that ministory and they suck me right in! But in all honesty, what

- “How does it feel to be captured by the powers of your own nakama!?” ooh, Hogback got Penguin and Samurai to do the dirty job and capture Robin and Chopper. That’s just plain rude

- Huh, Penguin could hit Robin now, when he refused to attack Nami earlier. It could be used for Shipping Manifesto but personally I think there’s a time limit on how long shadow’s personality holds reigns on zombie’s body, I mean Moria is waiting for Oars to lose Luffy’s… Luffyness still. And let’s remember Absalom blasted Penguin hard enough I though him gone for good

- Hogback just repeated what I said :/ Was he not listening

- So will we be watching them fighting zombies or zombie masters here?

- Cindry can be a little scary

- Chopper is speaking

- He talks about death, rebirth and heresy. I know he’s a genius reindeer doctor but… I think… this is the first time I feel this all is very unfair to him. Kid is mentally 15 here. Give him a break, not a “don’t meet your heroes” moment

- He got small now :(

- “don’t meet your heroes” intensifies

- “I was a prodigy!” “I performed operations for money!” “More and more patients kept coming from all over the world!” “It only causes trouble!” “I could save the lives of those that other moronic doctors couldn’t save!” “Don’t you understand the agony of a prodigy!?” Can I punch him now. Like what the hell

- But I have no problem buying he was a good doctor and surgeon before that zombie business. He really feels like real doctors who only do their stuff for money. I suppose if you don’t believe in that inherent “saving lives” stuff, being a medic does leave you being like… this

- What an asshole, that’s what I’m saying

- Chopper says **** YOUR ZOMBIES, they’re just puppets and you’re not that smart

- “Don’t make a fool out of life!” yeah!

- What the **** Hogback, what are you doing to Cindry

- “Lick the floor, Cindry” “Yes, Hogback-sama”

Me:

- *flails around uselessly* how… how about No

[ETA: I’m writing that day after posting and I must say, I kinda went off with this chapter. All this Cindry Situation makes me really uncomfortable and that shows. Evil gotta evil and everything here is good writing but... I read in posts about “Coraline” that there are texts and concepts that kids love to read about but adults find terrifying and I think that’s exactly what happened here. I went Full Adult trying to explain and justify my discomfort.

With Chopper taunting Cindry, it’s all obviously intended and working as an “snap out of that mindcontrol already!” talk/moment BUT I really can’t imagine it being worded worse than it already was. I Do think it’s pretty much victim-blaming here but it’s more “very poor choice of words” here than something sinister. So, we’re good here. Enjoy me getting off the rails over this :)]

- Hogback tells his backstory! He had a celebrity crush on Cindry when she was alive! But she refused him! But then she died! And then! Wait, what

- He met Gecko Moria. And offered his services if Moria bring Cindry “back to life”

- “I easily obtained an obedient actress Cindry! I didn’t care for the character of the girl who rejected me! If only I had that beauty!” O_O

- “This is the zombie Cindry-chan! I’m happy, and I’m sure she must be, too… since she can once again live as a human in this world!” …

- I…

- First of all, this is disgusting and unethical, no question here. Hogback needs to die, let’s kill him

- Second of all, should that be in a shounen manga? Should we show that to the kids? Is that allowed? I mean, I think I wouldn’t be phased that much by that as a child, it would just be a little weird for me. But now it makes me feel all horrible inside, so. I wonder if they censored that part in some countries, because WTF

- Lastly, I kinda keep that blog strictly PG-13 and it wasn’t any kind of hardship or even really conscious up to this point, but now… Now I have questions I really don’t want answers to. Like ever

- CHOPPER SNAPPED, AS HE SHOULD

- “YOU ARE JUST CREATING MONSTERS!” yes!

- (side effect of this is that I’m even more uneasy about zombies being all around than I was before. I knew it was evil before but damn, I did NOT think about all the implications. It’s evil x10 now)

- Now Cindry and Chopper are fighting. At least she’s not on the floor anymore

- …excuse me?

- “I pity you! How would your family feel if they knew about this? Your wounds were horribly patched up! And you were turned into a soldier! Your relatives won’t be able to bear it!” Is Chopper victim-blaming Cindry here…?

- Cindry, who is a zombie AND was dead when they decided they’ll “resurrect” her? AND who had absolutely no say in the matter?

- …

- FUCK YOU ODA

- AND FUCK YOU FOR MAKING CHOPPER OF ALL CHARACTERS SAY THINGS LIKE THAT

- “Humans have more freedom! You are the one who isn’t treating them as humans!” Now that’s more like that. I will now erase past 6 panels out of existence AND my memory, thank you very much

- Robin springs into action!

- …?

- Zoro’s and Sanji’s shadows are fighting each other

- …god bless these idiots and their rivalry

- Bless :)

- Hogback tried to make them cooperate so Robin muted him :D

- “What happens when there is no more commands?” what indeed

- Now Robin tricked Hogback fair and square into throwing his zombies outta the window. So much for prodigy, huh

- Chopper is all business :D

- …Cindry is crying

What a rollercoaster. I thought that chapter would just be Chopper yelling and punching Hogback into next Sunday. Instead… this…

rOP 220  rOP 222

[shadow-sovereign]

1. So, here is another idea: The relationship between South Korea and Japan are bad, so one of the politicans comes up with an idea: a hunter exchange programm between Korea and Japan. Some hunters from Korea stay with the Drawn Sword Guild and some hunters form Japan stay with one of their guilds. Each hunter has a "mentor" in the guild they are staying. Jin-Woo is among the hunters who go to Japan and his mentor is Goto Ryuji who is not happy playing babysitter for an E-Rank hunter.

2. But he has to play nice because of politics. So Jin-Woo is living with Ryuji. Ryuji’s first impression of the Korean is: "weak but kind of cute" and "looks like a puppy". Of course Jin-Woo still goes into Gates (with other D and E rank hunters) and one day the dual-dungeon-incident happens. They suspect that he experienced a double awakening, but their magical power detector says otherwise. Ryuji is still suspicious because Jin-Woo feels different to his senses.

3. As if something about him has changed so he watches him. And every day he feels stronger than before, and suddenly he grows muscles over night. He is like a puzzle Ryuji can not resist solving. They get closer every day. But Jin-Woo’s time in Japan runs out and he has to return to Korea.

This would be a very interesting dynamic. Ryuji as a general rule does not respect Hunters that are weak. He would not have a very high opinion of Jin-Woo at first. Even his reasons for being a Hunter would just be baffling to him.

Putting his life on the line to keep his mother on life support? It would be one thing if it was for life-saving treatment, to actually make his mother better. He could understand making that kind of sacrifice for a parent if it would actually save the person. But to make an indefinite sacrifice for a parent that’s always going to be in a coma?

I see Ryuji as maybe being a dutiful son, but not being particularly close to them. Maybe they were the kind of parents who worked a lot and thought the way to make your kid happy was through material goods. He always had food, nice clothes, and plenty of gifts on his birthday and holidays. Did it really matter if they weren’t always home on time for dinner?

This has led to Ryuji to being distant in general and very self-sufficient. He doesn’t feel comfortable opening up to others or forming attachments to them. That distance from humanity led to feeling superiority to humanity. He convinced himself that he doesn’t need others, so he must be better than them.

Watching Jin-Woo constantly getting hurt for someone else’s sake doesn’t really change his mind, either. Maybe he’ll even try to talk Jin-Woo out of it, as an odd form of pity. He can at least respect how persist Jin-Woo is at working towards his goals, even if he thinks said goals are pointless.

The conversation doesn’t really go over well. E-rank Jin-Woo is kind of timid, but he’s absolutely livid at this self-absorbed rich asshole telling him to let his mother die….because it doesn’t benefit him?? Maybe he goes on a rant about all that his mother has done for him growing up and not wanting her to die is reason enough for his sacrifice.

It could possibly lead to them discussing different philosophies later, assuming I can figure out how to write that. At the very least, I want them to have a discussion about the inherent value of human lives and how people don’t have to be “useful”. It’ll at least make Ryuji introspective, but I don’t think he’s going to have a big change of heart right away. He’ll eventually learn how to care about people, but he’s always going to be a bit selfish.

Now, winding back to the start – how does Jin-Woo get selected for the exchange program? He’s the weakest Hunter there is. ‘Wouldn’t it look bad on Korea for me to get sent over?’, he asks. But the fact that he keeps working as a Hunter despite his weakness is exactly why they chose him.

Unlike Ryuji, other people are quite moved by his story. About how he risks his life every time he steps through a gate to pay his mother’s hospital bills. How he raised his sister after their mother fell into a coma, their father presumed killed in a gate. And how he’s raising money to put her through university.

In addition to what they normally pay him to go through Gates, they give him extra for every day he’s in Japan, plus they pay for his travel expenses. Plane ticket and a decent budget for food. With him staying with Ryuji, he at least doesn’t have to pay for housing in Japan, which is useful since he still has to pay the bills for his sister in Korea.

It’s difficult for him to be separated from her for so long. Perhaps the exchange program could be about a year long. In the beginning, Jin-Woo video calls her every day, but that gradually shifts into 2-3 times a week as they get used to the separation.

Ryuji’s not happy about having someone in his space, but he’s playing along with this situation for political reasons. He understands that public opinion is its own type of power, especially when it’ll determine who’s willing to do business with you.

When he gets Jin-Woo home, he lays out some basic ground rules. Like, no eating outside of the kitchen/dining area. He owns his own apartment on the top floor of some tall building. He doesn’t want his carpets getting stained or food spilled on his couches. But he doesn’t have expensive vases and statues laying around, waiting to give Jin-Woo a heart attack with one wrong move. (He does have some fancy artwork, but you’re a lot less likely to knock that off the wall than an expensive vase off a shelf.)

Basically, Ryuji is reasonable in the house rules he sets. He doesn’t try to intimidate Jin-Woo, but he’s not particularly friendly either. In the beginning, he’ll probably ignore Jin-Woo for the most part. But he keeps getting reports of how Jin-Woo was injured in this raid and that raid (healed before he gets back to Ryuji’s apartment. He’s going on raids with Ryuji’s guild and Ryuji always insists on a healer with every raid, low ranked or not. The healer fees are less expensive than the insurance payouts.)

Eventually, Ryuji gets curious about the way Jin-Woo thinks. How he can keep going on dangerous raids to pay for the hospital bills of a mother who’s never going to wake up. That’s when they start having more regular conversations, trying to understand the other’s point of view.

They’re not quite friends by the time Jin-Woo encounters the Double Dungeon, but they’re close enough that Ryuji visits him in the hospital. Maybe Ryuji realizes that he would be at least briefly upset if the kid died, which is more than he can say for most people.

He notices pretty quickly when Jin-Woo starts changing. Not only is he suddenly doing exercise every day, but he’s gaining muscles and height. The muscles could be hidden by clothes, but he’s not going to miss that the kid he’s been living with for months is suddenly taller.

They start spending more time together as Ryuji tries to figure out what’s going on. Jin-Woo deflects some of the questions, but doesn’t outright tell Ryuji it’s none of his business. Maybe Jin-Woo likes that he’s got more of Ryuji’s attention now. (Though if Ryuji had completely ignored him when he was weaker, he’d be ignoring Ryuji now. He won’t get closer to someone who’s only interested in him now that he’s stronger.)

As Jin-Woo becomes stronger, he becomes more confident as well. He’s more bold in how he states his opinion, no more stuttering or nervous fidgeting. The change makes a remarkable difference. Add that to his changing body and Ryuji realizes he’s starting to become attracted to Jin-Woo. (The real question is whether Jin-Woo will notice on his own. I headcanon him as not having much experience with romance before the Double Dungeon incident. He was too busy going on raids and taking care of his sister.)

Perhaps he and Ryuji spar a few times before Jin-Woo has to go back to Korea? Ryuji obviously notices that Jin-Woo is stronger every time, wondering how this is possible and when Jin-Woo’s growth will stop. He’s both relieved and disappointed that he didn’t get to see Jin-Woo reach his own strength before he had to return home, almost looking forward to sparring with him as an equal.

I’m not sure about the timeline of everything. Perhaps Jin-Woo is in Japan for another two months after the Double Dungeon incident. He doesn’t go on raids during that time, focusing on getting stronger. He’s trying to avoid having his increased strength be noticed until he reaches S-rank.

Ryuji would probably help cover for him, saying that Jin-Woo is recovering from the trauma or something. He doesn’t have anything to gain by selling Jin-Woo out, especially not compared to having an S-rank Hunter as an ally.

So, Jin-Woo goes back to Korea, perhaps in time to save Yoo Jin-Ho’s life? The timeline’s probably going to be slightly off from canon to make everything work, but I’m not sure the Novel ever explained how fast things were happening anyway.

I think I’ll stop here. When I get around to writing this, then I’ll do more brainstorming. (Thank you for this suggestion, by the way. It probably wouldn’t have occurred to me to have E-rank Jin-Woo interacting with Ryuji at all without this idea. But this Hunter Exchange program means that Ryuji will have no choice but to pay attention to him, when he would have otherwise ignored such a low level Hunter.)

And a reminder to my followers, feel free to send in any of your fic ideas! I’d love to see them. ^_^

[vaguely-concerned]

Some more mass effect andromeda thinky thoughts as I run around heleus getting some achievements! 

- the murderous angaran ai is genuinely so fucking funny. “How are you feeling here on Aya?” “I hope you die” “Is there anything we could do to make you more comfortable?” “BURY THIS PLANET UNDER FIRE AND ASH” “o.oookay. Goodbye then.” “I HATE you.”

- I hope I never become irresistibly moved to write mass effect andromeda fic b/c there really is no other description for a good 70% of the expressions reyes makes than :> and how could one capture that in words

- as mentioned I’ve been doing a bit of achievement hunting and in the process I’ve been switching up a lot of gameplay stuff from how I handled it the first few times around and let me tell you it’s baller as fuuuuuuuuuck -- it just looks so awesome and is so satisfying between the maneuverability of the jetpack and biotic charge and the effects. special shoutout to what happens if you biotic charge a frozen victim enemy and the biotic pull/push combination. (throwing people around like ragdolls is actually so much fun I’ve kept doing it even after I unlocked the achievement lol)

- lol lol when you get meridian online there’s the montage of every planet coming back to life, right? well the one on kadara is from inside kralla’s song, with umi looking out at everything that’s happening. and all I can imagine is her jaded-ass voice going ‘what the fUCK did that asshole kid do now I only just cleaned up after the bar brawl he started with his krogan grandpa and now he’s rearranging the entire fucking planet right from under us goddess I need a drink’ 

- the implication that reyes ‘cards so close to my chest you won’t even know I’m playing’ vidal just does not shut up about how amazing ryder is to anyone who’ll listen gives me so much life. when you try to be mysterious and laidback but the human pathfinder is so fucking cute tho Y____Y (also go watch his scenes if you’re being standoffish with him the entire time -- he clearly wants ryder to like him so much right from the beginning, he’s doing so much work to no avail and I feel sort of bad for how funny I find it haha. interesting that it really does seem to be an emotional thing as well as y’know the practical/tactical benefits of having the pathfinder on his side. methinks the charlatan might be a bit lonely there behind all his masks lol) 

I think this is why I’m willing to give him some benefit of the doubt too, despite all the cloak and dagger stuff -- he’s so immediately drawn to ryder, who you can never make a bad person, really. something in him must respond to that, if potentially only in the ‘attracted to traits I do not possess myself’ way hahaha

- I love sam. so so much. some of the open world implementation is still grating (yes sam. yes I know I can mine this area for resources through my mining interface. we’ve been doing this for a hundred hours sam. you’ve been right here with me the entire time sam. please sam), but he’s SUCH a good and I’d argue underutilized concept (emotionally at least) and the best boy. the fact that he can get SARCASTIC on you fsdhfjsadh he’s growing and learning! he’s doing so from inside your brain which is kind of unsettling but also SO COOL! there’s something about that level of intimacy, of always knowing there will be someone there with you in your head that is super interesting and deserves to be examined more fully -- both how it could be comforting and how it’s  r e a l l y  not how people or ai are generally designed to work lol. 

he also gives us a unique link with our dad and I wonder if the writers would have explored that in more depth if there’d been more development time -- it practically SCREAMS out an invitation to get to play/see things from alec’s POV in short bursts, like the memories you unlock except you could go through playing it as him since sam is common to both of us. (see my ‘our dad comes back through either kett or remnant nonsense in the sequel and we need to find some way to connect with him’ idea. it would be. amazing. listen alec already looked at the ethical guidelines involved in creating ai and went ‘huh interesting ideas but not for me thanks!’, don’t tell me he wouldn’t have left some loophole in so this could happen)  

- reyes literally says ‘the cavalry’s here’ when we get to meridian and I for one love him more than words can express (he also asks us if we’re okay in sort of a sweet/worried way right before we get to the control room. aw buddy) 

- like we don’t think of them like that because we’re in control of them and see all the stumbles and awkwardness and how young they are all the time, but damn the ryder twins must look like something else to everyone in andromeda haha. they literally stride around like demigods restoring entire planets. on voeld spring non-metaphorically follows in their footsteps. shit dude if we’re talking realpolitik here the angara must feel  p r e t t y nervous about this -- there’s no one saying they can’t turn off the vaults as easily as they turned them on. I hope we get them somehow teaching the angara how to do it too, on a smaller scale at least, as a show of good faith or something in a sequel, because that power imbalance is disconcerting  

- I’m glad sam and I have such similar priorities whenever we’re on kadara. ‘maybe mr vidal would know. perhaps we should ask mr vidal about this. mr vidal said something relating to this pathfinder maybe we should speak to him’ . yeah sam i know the feeling, same (it does undeniably read as sam having a bit of a crush which is. hilarious?) 

- the fact that alec ryder thought ellen responded to his bad boy act in any way when what really charmed her was that he was a great big nerd <3 it’s kind of nice to see a fictional marriage that seems to have just been. nice and stable and chill? just two intellectual equals who like and respect each other very much and not a lot of drama until alec went full alec and started developing rogue ai instead of watching his wife die lol. again I would love for the sequel to involve ellen finally waking up and being like ‘death? trying to claim MY husband? I do not think so, I can die he can’t he’s not leaving me behind’ and helping out and you realize that the reason they were soulmates was that under the relatively rational and unemotional surface they’re both, at heart, batshit crazy mad scientists who are insanely devoted to each other. imagine it tho! the people of andromeda realize alec ryder is back from the dead somehow and doing some Shit out there, they put a ton of resources into curing ellen’s disease because their best shot is something to do with the implants she made, hey presto we’ve got all ryders on the board and in play. 

- just want to make it clear that I’m still sad about avitus rix and hope he’s having a good day

- do you think ryder ever asks sam to read something to him ‘aloud’ in his head if he’s anxious and can’t sleep. or just to talk at him about something boring until he nods off. again the possibilities inherent in the concept!!! he has someone who’s closer to him than any other person could be, what’s that like? 

- *me sticking to my sidewinder pistol the whole playthrough even though it’s laughably inefficient* I just wanna feel like a cowboy bioware please work with me here

- the male ryder voice actor has such amazing comedic timing, there’s a lot of reaction stuff out in the field he absolutely nails. I enjoy the female voice too and I like how much emotion she manages to convey towards the end of the game especially, but there’s a casual comedy in male ryder’s voice that can’t be beat. (well, it’s not hawke levels, but then nothing ever is, that’s too much to ask)

- I love vorn and kesh so much. nerd krogans unite & make out

- I still want to sit peebee down and have a long serious talk with her about emotional abuse, maybe give her a hug :( fuck kalinda 

- this game does not get enough credit for how stunningly beautiful it is, it all got buried under criticism about the animations and it’s a fucking shame. the last few vaults you go through are just mindboggling in scale and visual uh striking-ness. it makes me so sad to think there won’t be any more of it D: 

- I really like this mainly casual + logical dialogue options ryder I’ve found; it makes him sound like a younger and more irreverent version of his father, but also softer and less closed off and much more willing to show affection for his family especially. 

- i wonder if different people’s individual SAMs will take on a certain tone/unique pattern when they’ve coexisted long enough. have I mentioned. how much I want a sequel to this game 

- one last reyes note because don’t look at me okay -- I wonder how much we’re meant to read into ‘being honorable never got me anywhere’. on the one hand I’m fully prepared to believe he’s never even tried doing anything the honorable way in his entire life lol but on the other there’s also some interesting potential in the interplay of that sentence and ‘to be someone’. (there seems to be a deep fear in him both of powerlessness and of being truly seen/recognized -- he equates secrecy with safety pretty explicitly -- which seems... telling? of what I don’t know but telling all the same hahaha) like he might be saying he’s tried doing things the ‘right’ way and it didn’t work and the price was too high, so he just went for this instead with the ends low-key justifying the means. hmmm. :Ia (this is what happens when I get Attached to a character with like an hour of screentime my friends, and I’m already primed to give my entire heart away at the sound of nicholas boulton’s voice)

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E74 (Aug. 13, 2019)

This week’s guests are Mica Burton and Marisha Ray! Let the chaos reign!

The druid couch (TM) is asked to turn into an animal. Like, right now. Just do it. Just turn into an animal. Just do it. They succeed?

[id] Marisha, Mica, and a Molly body pillow on a couch, all holding strange poses [end id]

Announcements: The second issue of the second series of Vox Machina: Origins comes out tomorrow! The body pillow is Mica’s (she also has a McCree body pillow: “some asshole voices him but whatever”)! And... I guess that’s it? Here we go!

Episode 74: Manifold Morals

Mica has only seen a couple complete episodes of CR, but she’s picked up a lot by osmosis, which is to say that she knows the secrets of Arsequeef (she’s still a little taken aback when Brian excitedly brandishes a tiny photo of him in her face).

Stats for this week’s episode! The party went 183 days without knowing Beau’s last name. Reani had the 250th guest roll of campaign 2. There were six otter puns in the episode. 

Marisha, deeply insulted: “Only six???” 

Mica’s been playing D&D since she was a teenager. She was in a campaign when she was at Rooster Teeth, which was her first experience playing a more intense campaign. She’s got an acting major, so the improv always really appealed to her. She only brought about 1/4 of her dice to the game. “I guess it was my mating call to Laura to pour them out in front of her.” She sent in a four-page backstory for Reani to Matt; after receiving it, apparently Matt burst out of his office to tell Marisha, “I love Mica Burton.” Usually, Mica plays chaotic neutral characters (typically tieflings), but she wanted to try something different this time around. She also sent a three-page description of Reani for the artist’s reference.

Marisha: “I love her freckles.” Mica: “I love her titties.”

“It’s been very difficult to separate Beau’s feelings [about Reani] from mine.” Marisha loved seeing another druid at work. “Beau finds you very endearing and charming, but also Beau kind of thinks Reani might be a psycho.” Mica: “Valid.”

"I just thought it would be cool to be Giant Scorpion Batman.” Reani just sort of set up camp in Uthodurn while waiting for further instruction. “The angelic past influenced the Folk Hero, rather than vice-versa.”

On the party not knowing Beau’s last name: “She’s... fine. Beau likes keeping the upper hand by continuing to have secrets.” Marisha resolved at the beginning of the campaign not to reveal anything personal about Beau unless it was immediately useful or she was asked directly. “She would value knowing things but not divulging them. The more you tell people, the more they have to use against you.”

Cosplay of the Week: an adorable Jester! (on Twitter: koalois, photo by AmynTheOutcast)

Reani’s always been “super evil-die, good-live”. Landen really leaned into Samliel talking to her. “If Landen says ‘listen’, and Samliel says ‘listen’, all Reani knows is ‘listen’.” 

Mica hadn’t planned any of the M9 parallels; she hasn’t watched enough of the show to know those details. She also didn’t know in advance that the group would be dealing with patrons to such a degree. “Dude, I rolled her months ago. This is all just an amazing coincidence.” She feels like if she’d seen everything, she might have approached the character differently, but this felt “more organic”.

She talks about how nervous she was to be on the show (”I was shaking”); she loved everyone at the table and had heard such good things about the fandom, and she wanted to do them proud.

“I don’t know if Beau sees herself as a capable leader. That feels very generous. But I think Beau knows she can bullshit herself as a capable leader in the moment. Beau’s best when she’s bullshitting.” Marisha put a lot of points into deception, because she knew Beau would be good at lying, but Fjord’s influence has made her try to be more honest. “I should go back to lying.”

“Goatback? Does that sound fuckin’ enjoyable? Yeah, no, fast-travel’s a big deal, especially when you’re at this level.” Marisha points out that they got spoiled having Keyleth last campaign to just teleport via plants wherever they needed to go.

Mica on the concern over Reani’s low hit points: “Y’all, I’m fine. Trust and believe.” She points out that she has two Wild Shapes. “That’s a lot of hit points!” Marisha: “I’m so proud.”

One of Reani’s favorite methods is to invite her victim for tea and then poison them. “It seems more humane than stabbing.” Dani: “She could legit have just murdered all of y’all.”

Fan Art of the Week: Reani and Caduceus and the tree! (on Twitter: Skidarstudios)

Mica’s horrified off-screen gasp when Brian does the dab-slash for the first time is magical. Marisha: “I appreciate your humor so much more when seeing it through your eyes.” Dani: “Yeah, she makes you a lot funnier.”

Mica on the failure points of the relationship with Fen: “When I yelled, ‘it’ll always be your fault!’ it was a gut reaction. She understands that what she does can never work with how Fen thinks. Their ideals inherently clash, and they obviously still care for each other, but when your base morals don’t mix, it’s just going to be a destructive circle. It was kind of a mutual ending of the relationship.”

“But she’s traveling with a hot-ass monk, so, you know. She’ll be fine.”

Beau’s always known that her affiliation with the Cobalt Soul can be a good bargaining tool, but she’s had to be selective about that. Mica: “It won’t fly at a club to get you in.” So she’ll always jump at the chance when it arises.

“Samliel hasn’t said anything other than ‘Dragon, dragon, dragon’,” which is the first thing Reani’s heard from him in five years. So she’s defaulting to helping the Nein out as much as she can. Reani overheard the M9′s whole conversation, and she heard them talking to Umi about spreading his name and that he’s as good as his father. “She wants him to be happy, so she’ll put herself at risk to help the greater cause. Also, she thinks a lot of the people in the group are attractive,” especially Beau and Caleb.

Reani has the Luck feat and Mica realized after the game that she didn’t use it once. “I’d rather use it for something that can get us killed, rather than an auditor.”

Mica will be back next week! Mica: “Is this a legitimate offer or are you baiting me?”

[migleefulmoments]

"No one will ever convince me he made that statement, and if you listen to his ACTUAL words about that, he didn’t say he wouldn’t take any more LGBTQ roles." Darren literally said that the gay community would have his head if he took another gay role but somehow to tinhats like Cassie, that means the next role he takes will be a gay character. I guess Darren meant that he knows the gay community will try to murder him, but he has faith in his ability to avoid their attempts. They're such freaks.

When they make grandiose and sweeping statements like this, I feel the full weight of the disinformation campaign they all embrace. Cassie claims “When you listen to his actual words…he didn’t say he wouldn’t take any more LGBTQ roles” so we have to see if she’s telling the truth or she’s manipulating reality in order to soothe their anxiety and allow them to easily fetishize the gay version of Darren. 

What did Darren say? (You can read the entire Bustle piece (X))

“There are certain [queer] roles that I’ll see that are just wonderful,“ Criss explains when we speak at a recent event for Clorox’s What Comes Next in New York, a few days after he returned from an overseas tour with his Glee co-star Lea Michele. ”But I want to make sure I won’t be another straight boy taking a gay man’s role.“Although Criss says it’s “been a real joy” playing queer characters like Blaine, Cunanan, and Hedwig in the Broadway musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch, he now doesn’t feel comfortable taking those roles, which is “unfortunate,” he says. “The reason I say that is because getting to play those characters is inherently a wonderful dramatic experience,” he adds. “It has made for very, very compelling and interesting people.”

One of the reasons they claim they don’t think Darren said the words is because they claim that print interviews are fake: 

12/18/18  ajw720 answered: 

I would like to see a video as well, nonnie, as I don’t actually think he said any of this shit. Print articles are never, ever to be trusted. They are generally fabricated.  

If you recall nonnie, D himself called out an article earlier this year (it may even be the one referred to in this piece of crap) for taking a quote of his out of context about his Filipino Heritage, likely as he was sick of being called white repeatedly.  Fact is, while he is able to correct the “white” narrative, he, at this time, is not able to correct the straight narrative so he can’t even defend himself when this utter nonsense is published in his name.

First of all print articles aren’t generally fabricated and most CAN be trusted if you vet them properly. Claiming  “ALL print articles are fabricated”- and therefore not to be trusted is a perfect cctrope because it gives them the out they need to label everything they don’t like-every single quote, every single story, and every single description as fake news. It’s the perfect strategy for ignoring everything Darren talks about that proves he isn’t Blarren- all the puns and sexual innuendos, all the crude comments, all the sweet things he says about Mia or his sexuality. All they have to do is remind their followers that it was in a print article and Woosh- it’s invalid. Trump is doing the same thing with his base-he’s grooming them to believe that the media is dangerous and that everyone fabricates stories about him. He calls them “the enemy of the people” so when the. NYT proves he laundered money for years through the Russian mafia or that he actively cheated during the 2016 election and is trying to cheat in 2020, his base will scream “fake news” and threaten to go all 2nd amendment on the rest of us.  

Once again Abby uses something to prove her point but misses the fact that it actually proves she’s full of shit- Darren did push back on the interview where he was misquoted regarding his Filipino heritage but he hasn’t pushed back on any other interview he’s ever given. We can see he’s capable of pushing back, he’s interested in making sure he is quoted accurately and yet we’ve seen no other example- the reasonable conclusion is that is because the other interviews weren’t misquoted.    

e Bustle piece and understand that he said he will no longer play LGBTQ characters. It’s clear that Darren has a far deeper understanding of the issue than Cassie and Abby.  Splitting hairs and claiming he didn’t specifically say he would never play a bisexual or trans character is stupid. What Cassie and Abby are missing in the article is this paragraph:

This conversation about straight actors being cast in gay roles is about more than just LGBTQ actors losing out on Oscars, of course. It’s about Hollywood missing an opportunity to embrace new talent who would better serve these stories. And over the years, actors like Criss have become more sensitive to these types of concerns. The Versase star understands that there is an added honesty to actor getting to play characters who share their identities. “The commitment to that drama is told in such a way that it can really effectively reach people’s lives,” Criss says. “I think that really is important.”

Abby gets her wish- there is an audio recording of him making this statement-albeit it was 4 months prior to the Bustle interview and he seems to have evolved his understanding of the importance of representation in those 4 months. In the Hollywood Reporter interview he said:  

“….But I do think about that now, you know, if roles come by that are LGBT leaning - I really think it would be insensitive to the gay community if I were to take another role. I think they’d have my head. You know, I would totally understand that. So I’m certainly cognizant of it. And while it is very tricky, I think the discussion and the questioning is really really important. And I think it’s good that we’re uncertain and I hope that we can find some kind of balance.” -Darren Criss, 8/26/18 

I am an idiot and can’t remember how I got the audio portion of the interview on to my blog so I have to refer you to my old post if you want to hear Darren say the words (X). 

I think you are correct- Darren is well aware the gay community will kill him but he doesn’t care because he has superpowers. 

EDIT** I found this charming comment from Chrisdare who is a “journalist” yet she knows nothing about journalism. I got in an argument with her once and she schooled me that journalists aren’t educated.and will say anything a publicist tells them too.  Whatever, Valentina,  Google should be your friend.     

Anonymous asked: It wouldn’t matter if you saw a video because you wouldn’t believe it anyway. You would say he was being forced to say it. Fact is CCers haven’t believed a thing

ajw720 answered:I believe many things nonnie. I also have a deep and fundamental understanding about hollywood works nonnie and that is something you clearly lack.

Further, if D was straight, i believe he would never allow them to portray him as an asshole.  D is an incredibly intelligent human being, he knows exactly how negatively the straight push reflects on him. and frankly, it would not be necessary if he exclusively slept with female persons with vaginas.

Have a nice life living in delusionville.    

chrisdarebashfulsmiles JCS shut the f** up. 

When we talk about articles and how they are made we talk about facts. I hate when you come here busting balls on professional stuff when you don’t know anything. You can’t even imagine all the shit we do as journalist

It’s not a matter of cc but the fact they are ruining D’s life and career. And if you are a fan you need to start opening your eyes and stop being an enabler. I swear you should feel guilty when he will come out because you helped keeping him in the closet.

Talk about dellusionville! 

**********Edit Edit *******(X)

chrisdarebashfulsmiles  Because there’s a power of attorney that allows RR and Ab to do so. To say something D has to prove that the article is harmful and he has to do it through a legal action. And this means breach of contract with all it entails like the two years of stop from signing an anything.

That IS NOT how “power of attorney” works.  But nice try- 10 points for originality and imagination! 

***Edit Edit Edit *********

Anonymous asked: An article you should read to help you understand how journalism works .tinyurl/com/y9s49tms. German Reporter At Der Spiegel Fired for Fabricating Stories “On A Grand Scale”. “I’m so angry, horrified, shocked, stunned,” Der Spiegel deputy foreign editor Mathieu von Rohr tweeted Wednesday. “Claas Relotius faked, he cheated on us all.” Journalists can’t just make up stories or publish falsities no matter how much you want to believe that is happening in Hollywood.

chrisdarebashfulsmiles answered: It’s amazing how is crystal clear that you never worked in a magazine or in a PR firm. I work since 2004 and I don’t need an article… I know how it works. We aren’t talking about WSJ and serious stuff. We are talking about gossip and showbusiness so don’t try to be smug because you are failing.

Have nice day/ night wherever you are. :) it’s evening here and I’m enjoying my free time.

bjpb8 Oh, my gosh who is this person. People thrive on gossip and “Rags”. IT SELLS. First begain with papers like En/quire, The Globe, etc. Then spread to SM with blinds. You think other magazines and papers do not want to make money. Everyone prints what sells depending on audiences. Embellishment is part of the trade. They want to catch your interest, which feeds right into what PR wants to sell! Tts a sybiotic relationship at best! It is just some are more talented at making what sounds like truth out of lies. Its called entertainment. You might want ro “read” about it.

The author of the Bustle interview has a master’s degree in journalism from CUNY New York so it is more like the wall street journal than it is the “website” you work for Valentina. Journalists have a degree in journalism.  Anyone can be a blogger - you’ve proved that. 

****Edit Edit Edit Edit *******

D/arren did not write that post! (X) 

12/19/18

ajw720 I have enough faith in Dar/ren Cri/ss personality and his respect and love for his fans to know that the comments attributed to him were not his.  I’ve seem this happen before…I’m sure many of you have, also.  Darr/en is stuck between a rock and a hard place right now.  When he finally writes a memoir about this time, he will let us know about his anquish, anger and remorse.  If one is a TRUE CC and Dar/ren fan, after years of roller-coaster rides via PR, et al…I will continue to take the advice of the person that runse THIS SITE.  “Trust the process…”

***********************************************************************

@geminess We have to trust the process and believe that C and D are working hard towards an ending to this absolute tragedy that is legally clean and does not jeopardize either of their careers.  

I believe in them, I cannot accept that D would ever willingly choose to represent himself in this manner and to continue this nightmare of a charade surrounded by utterly and completely vile, disgusting human beings.

Please, please, please may we be right.  I cannot repeat enough there is no alternative ending that is acceptable but D breaking free by ending this sham of an encage, severing ties with his inhumane team, and eventually coming out.  

And yesterday proved once again just how frightening the alternative is.  I would fear for his career and his life.  And it baffles and amazes me that anyone watching, even if you believe he is the straightest man alive, cannot see how harmful that article was.  It was like he used the LGBT+ community to win his awards and is now ready to dismiss them.

(X) 12/19/18

Anonymous asked: On the bright side, this means we’re coming to the end right?

ajw720 answered: Anon, we honestly don’t know, but we can only hope. If D extends his time with these assholes, it will be very ugly for him personally and professionally.

But logic seems to say that this article, the literally offends every fan but the blind and naive, is wholly unnecessary if in fact they are going to continue a professional relationships. And it did not just the fans, think about how many award voters they offended yesterday with that utter piece of crap.

Absolutely and utterly unreal. Hard to believe they are able to get away with working against their client at every turn.

Logic? One thing the cc fandom has proven in the last 10 years is that they do not understand or care about logic. 

12/24/18 (X)

ajw720 It’s interesting how there are such varying opinions on the “straight boy” article. And I think it comes down to 2 questions:

1. Do you believe D is a willing participant in his closeting?

2. Do you believe he actually said what the article alleges?

My answer to both is a resounding no (though he will be forced to validate the comments) and I have good reason to think this. But I certainly see why ones perspective is different if you answer one or both as yes.

This being said, no matter your answers to the above, I don’t see how it can be justified that he would dismiss b/laine in such a manner. And the timing, because I still think it makes him look like an ass and /or a coward as awards are voted for playing queer. And to repeat, I don’t think he should play queer again until his team is dismissed, so I’m not disagreeing with the premise, just the manner it was done, which again, I believe was without his consent.

Not posting to start a fight. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. I clearly am not afraid to state mine, which is very reasoned and based on a lot of information I’ve collected.

Just interesting that some very intelligent people, all of whom believe he’s closeted, can vary so much in what they believe.

[mwolf0epsilon]

I see you're a fan of angst, here's something to entertain you then. How about a story where Josh snaps and goes apeshit :)

Oh Anon, you're in for a horrid treat >:3c

---

[[MORE]]

     Everything had been a mess. A complete and utterly complicated political mess with almost no end in sight.

That's why they never realized something was inherently wrong with Josh's recent behaviour.

That nothing indicated that he was being anything but his quiet but optimistic self.

You could pitch the blame on the remaining 3/4s of Jericho's leadership. Say that the three of them had gone so far as to neglect their friend when times got particularly tough, but honestly Josh had never even voiced feeling particularly off, or anything of the sort.

He'd either not wanted to tell them, or hadn't realized the problem either. 

Or, worse yet, he hadn't been able to warn them in time.

Regardless of which one it was, none of it changed the fact Simon was currently hiding in a closet while cradling an unconscious and bleeding North…

---

     There had been threats for a good part of the month. Jericho's leaders had been hard at work trying to pass the bills, while Connor and the DPD kept the peace as best as they could.

In between heavily guarded press conferences, and trips in and out of DC? There had been multiple messages left for them.

Ones that were as simple as 'You're not alive', and others that went so far as 'You'll all end up destroyed and thrown in the trash like the junk you are'.

Markus put his foot down and upgraded security at the tower and at Carl's, when the threats began to address both innocent civilians and his family. His very human and fragile family.

There were other measures he'd taken into account as well, most of which were suggested by Connor and Hank.

As a general rule, the RK800 had suggested that the four leaders should not walk alone outside, and to perhaps conceal their identities whenever this was not a possibility.

Androids were being rampantly attacked out in the streets, with the aggressors aiming for more common models they could recognize.

Simon, for example, had a harder time accomplishing this, not because he was a figurehead in android politics (which he wasn't), but because the PL600 had been one of the most popular domestic assistant models Cyberlife had ever produced.

North could, in theory, disguise herself and walk seemingly unnoticed if she really wanted to, but sadly tended to get into fights with hecklers and catcallers. The two were essentially barred from leaving the Manfred household.

The same could not be said for Markus and Josh.

     Markus was recognizable in public but was also a lot more sneaky about it than Josh. He kept out of sight at all times, using his acrobatic skills to his advantage, and went to abandoned places where he climbed up to isolate heights that no human could follow him to. There he would sit and appreciate the sights, before letting his mind wander.

He liked to have time to think alone. 

It relaxed him.

Josh, on the other hand, would don a thick jacket and a baseball cap and somehow it was like Superman disguising himself as Clark Kent.

The PJ500 series was numerous but not outwardly recognizable by people who didn't go to Detroit University. Thanks to said university's bad rep, very few people in Detroit had actually gone there to study, so Josh's face didn't ring any bells. Mostly for the wrong reasons.

As unimpressed as he was with how little progress humanity had made besides uniting their frustrations against androids, it ended up being beneficial to his excursions to the library that "all black guys looked the same".

North had snorted once when he'd brought it up, and Simon had rolled his eyes and shook his head in disbelief.

  "Humans tend to express face blindness if they're particularly racist." The blond had commented as he'd turned the page of a rather thick hardcover he'd been engrossed with. A recommendation of Carl's.

  "And you still insist dialogue is the best option? Almost half of Congress is old white dudes who never had to lift a finger in their lives. They'd all be dying to take you out, and not the dinner kind either." The redhead pointed out.

  "They would be less likely to give us the time of day if we nuked the city." Josh had glared daggers before going on his way out to the library. His knowledge archives were vast, but there were things he wanted to brush up on.

  "Don't be so rough with him North…" Simon chastised the WR400 when their friend was no longer in earshot.

With Markus currently asleep, and Josh wandering the streets, it left the two of them with nothing to do.

  "I'm antsy!" North crossed her arms, giving Simon one of her 'really?' looks. The kind that made it seem obvious why she was on edge. Not that it was obvious at all. "The threats keep coming, and we never catch the assholes who leave the notes...Markus is working himself ragged juggling between wrangling those rabid old crows and amping up security, and the tower's abuzz with anxious scared androids!"

  "Josh is also tired. He's been very active in the debates and he's used every piece of history knowledge he was preprogrammed with. Not to mention he has been looking into various ways of reaching a compromise with the humans, that won't leave them feeling threatened…" Simon rubbed at his eyes, sighing tiredly as he recalled how stressed the PJ500 always ended up after a meeting. "Some of those people...They unerve him. To the point he's scared of what might happen if he steps on any toes…"

  "This is Josh we're talking about." North dismissed "If anyone out there wouldn't dream of treading on toes and maybe licking boots, it'd be him."

  "North!"

  "He'll be fine Simon." The WR400 reassured "He's too charming and polite to make any enemies...Hell he's the sort to help old ladies cross the street! The internet would send hitmen after anyone who tried slandering his name."

  "...That sounded adorable coming from you. I should let him know you think he's charming." The blond grinned, avoiding a pillow the shorter of the two threw his way.

  "Don't you dare! I have a reputation to uphold!"

  "If you say so, Ice Queen."

  "Damn straight! Now move over you jackass, the couch was made for two!"

---

     Usually it took an hour for Josh to return. He was very pragmatic in the sense that he took what he needed, no less and no more, and then he wouldn't stick around so as to not risk getting recognized.

That night it took three hours, which was unusual but not impossible.

Maybe for once he'd taken time for himself rather than gather more ammunition for another conference meeting. Wishful thinking.

While Simon and North kept themselves busy, enjoying the one night where Markus wasn't stressing over their next steps, and the beginning of Matthew's, Leo's and Carl's quality bonding time vacation of sorts, they'd almost completely forgotten about their taller friend.

That is, until Josh returned dazed and confused, and with a bloody gash on the back of his head.

At the sight of the thirium staining his jacket and hands, Simon had run to get the technician's kit he'd stored in his room, while North had gone to help Josh steady himself and walk to the couch.

  "What the hell happened to you?!" She demanded as she pulled the cap off his head and examined the gash.

It looked painful, like a blunt object had hit hard enough to break the chassis casing open.

The thirium flow was slow, which meant it hadn't hit anything major, but the confusion and slow response worried her.

  "...I...D-dont know…?" The PJ500 blinked blearily. He was disoriented and his eyes wouldn't focus on her.

  "What do you mean you don't know?" She inquired further as she brushed the gash lightly with a finger. The pained hiss and subsequent flinch away from her touch made her falter.

The sensors weren't damaged then, he could feel the wound.

  "...I…" Josh shook his head, one eye twitched oddly and he seemed to be struggling to form sentences. "I...Remember being at...I was reading books...Mandela? I…."

  "Simon could you hurry the fuck up? I think he's concussed!" The redhead called up the stairs. She heard a muffled reply before looking back at Josh.  "You were reading at the library, and got hit on the head?"

  "...I...Think so…" he was staring at her, a frown on his face. "I...I was alone. No one was t-there to...Reco-recognize me?"

  "Well someone did, and they hit you on the back of the head." North sighed. "Humans, I swear to God…"

Simon returned swiftly to the two of them and took care of the gash. After the wound was mended, the PL600 carefully tried to figure out if Josh's processor was experiencing any trouble outside of the obvious.

It was PJ500 who insisted he'd be fine in the morning after a quick scan with his maintenance software.

After bidding goodnight and going to their respective rooms, they'd set the incident aside as a one-off.

Next time Josh would be more careful.

     When morning rose however, the leaders of Jericho met downstairs for "breakfast" and what came on the news was...Alarming.

Markus had turned on the TV out of habit while Simon gave everyone a cup of warm thirium to start the day, only to pause as a news broadcast caught his eye.

The RK200 turned up the volume and gawked at the sight.

Several androids had been killed the previous night. Their bodies piled up, and a message scrawled in still fresh thirium.

  "That's...Very close to the library." Simon pointed out uneasily. "You don't think who ever attacked Josh did...Did that, do you?"

  "Someone attacked Josh?" Markus frowned.

  "Yeah, last night… they hit him on the head." North confirmed, turning to look at the PJ500. She noticed how quiet he was staring at the news, but wrote it off as him being apprehensive. He could have been one of the bodies, and that alone would make anyone somber.

  "Someone recognized you?"

  "I...Don't think I was recognized. I just happened to be in the area." Josh replied with a shrug. "Otherwise I'd be dead. Wouldn't I?"

  "That's...True." Simon sighed. "Are you feeling better?"

  "Oh...Much better yes." Josh smiled at them all as he spoke. There was an odd glint in his eye. "In fact, I'd say I feel like a brand new android!"

  "...Are you sure? Last night you were a little confused." North insisted.

  "Very sure North. Don't you worry about little old me…" Josh grinned "Now, if you'll excuse me I'll finish this in my room. I've got something I need to work on."

The three watched as their taller friend picked up his cup and walked off.

He seemed to be in high spirits, despite being attacked the murders from the previous night.

That should have been a red flag, but in the end they were more worried about the violent demise if those poor androids, than Josh's unusual upbeat behaviour.

The words 'malfunctioning machines' had been "elegantly" scrawled on the wall of the alleyway the bodies had been found in. Clearly written by someone who'd dipped their hand in blue blood and then taken their sweet time.

Hopefully the DPD would find fingerprints… it'd ease their minds a little.

---

     The following days had been relatively fast paced. Josh had been more careful with his visits to the library, and Markus was back to stressing over conference calls and meetings.

Simon had been keeping tabs on the Manfred family's phone calls to check up on them, and North had been teaching self-defense at the tower to ease some worries.

It would have all been normal, if not for the constant murders.

All exactly the same as the ones from the night Josh had been attacked.

Piled up bodies, and a handwritten message.

Always the same one.

Malfunctioning Machines.

Connor had notified them that no prints were ever found, so they were either dealing with a very meticulous human, or the unthinkable… An android serial killer.

But why would one of their own butcher other androids so brutally?

  "Maybe Cyberlife's behind this…" Markus suggested, as he rubbed his temples and tried to ignore the dull headache he'd been tormented by all day.

  "If it was Cyberlife, why didn't they come after us yet?" Simon shook his head "The attacks seem to be almost random. Like the killer picked a group of androids without really thinking about it."

  "With the lack of evidence, it doesn't feel like it's not a calculated move Simon. Connor can't find anything...Connor." North took a sip from her cup, frowning when she realized she'd already finished her drink.

  "I'll refill that for you, North." Josh took her cup, smiling sweetly at the redhead before heading off into the kitchen.

  "Between the conferences and the tower, I don't know what's worse. Perkins has been up my asshole trying to demoralize everything we've done." The RK200 finished his own cup.

  "Of course he'd use this to mess with morale. Fucking rat bastard that he is…" North smiled at Simon as he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

  "We all know Richard Perkins isn't taken seriously by anyone with half a brain. He was completely humiliated after what happened at the recall centers." The blond reassured "But he is very hyped up about the murders… Maybe he has something to do with them?"

  "I'd assumed so, but so did Hank and Connor. Nothing links back to the asshole, and some of those bodies were in terrible shape. Like they were torn limb from limb. Perkins isn't exactly the picture of peak human physic…" Markus shook his head "I dread to think it really might be one of our own doing this."

  "But why?" Simon frowned.

No one knew the answer for that, and Markus couldn't stick around to speculate.

He had to go see Connor over some security details for his next trip to Washington.

This left Simon, North and Josh alone in the Manfred household.

  "Sorry for the delay, I couldn't find the bottle." Josh reentered the room with North's cup, smiling at his two friends.

  "Oh...Didn't I put it in the fridge?" Simon blinked in confusion.

  "Nope, not in there. Not to worry I found it in the end." Josh grinned, handing the cup to North. "It's at the temperature you like, so you won't have to wait for it to cool."

  "Thanks Josh." She took the cup and brought it to her lips, absentmindedly gulping the warm liquid before the taste fully hit her.

She spluttered and coughed, tears in her eyes and she dropped the cup. "What the shit?!"

Josh continued to smile down at her, cocking his head to the side as he grinned.

  "Is something wrong?"

  "This tastes horrible! What the fuck Josh?!"

  "Oh...My mistake Northy. Must be the flavouring I added~" the PJ500's grin looked...Off. very off.

Simon gawked at him in disbelief.

  "You put something in her thirium? Josh that could make her sick!" The blond cried out. "What did you put in it?!"

  "Oh~ Nothing much. Just half a bottle of this." The taller android held up a bottle of drain cleaner from behind his back. "To Purge the malfunctions away~"

Had he the capacity for it, Simon's skin would have crawled.

Instead his eyes widened and he turned to look at North who'd continued to cough.

  "W-what t-t...J-jos-osh?" The WR400's eyes widened and teared up even more, before she began to spit up waves of thirium, her intake line and the filter connected to it having become compromised from the highly corrosive chemical.

  "North! Josh that..Why the fuck?!" Simon tried to help his distressed friend, before he froze. "...Did you say malfunctions?"

  "Why yes, as a matter of fact...I did." Josh's grin had taken on a sinister glee. The blond couldn't help feel threatened as he neared them. "You see… I know something you don't~"

Simon yelped as North continued to cough up thirium, taking the redhead into his arms and backing away from the PJ500.

  "W-what would that be?" He asked.

  "...Androids aren't alive Simon. We're all just malfunctioning...And that won't do. Not at all…" Josh threw away the bottle before pulling something out of his back pocket. A knife. "Malfunctioning machines are dangerous Si~ So I've taken the liberty to dispose of a few...But you know, you made me realize...I should have gotten rid of you three by now. After that's done, I'll do away with the RK800...And then I'll finish up the job, one android at a time…"

  "J-Josh?"

  "I'll set it all right, for mankind… Just as I've been told to do!"

     The PJ500 tried to slice at the PL600's throat, but Simon hadn't deviated yesterday. He had to protect himself and North, so he grabbed the nearest object and lobbed it at his assailant.

A vase shattered against Josh's face, making him stagger back long enough that Simon could run with North in his arms.

And that had been what lead to the moment, where the two ended up stuck inside a tiny closet, hiding away from the pacifist who'd abruptly snapped and become a homicidal maniac.

Simon held his breath, clinging on to his unconscious friend while he tried to contact Markus. 

Josh was prowling around the house, searching for them. It was only a matter of time before he found them both.

  "Come out, come out wherever you are~" the PJ500 called out in a singsong tone, as he looked in every room.

<Markus please pick up! Please, I'm begging you!>

  "Siiiiimon~ there's only so many rooms you can hiiide in~" Josh's voice was getting closer.

<Markus for the love of all that's holy in this world, please fucking pick up!>

  "Simon~ Is that you in the closet~?"

<I DON'T WANT TO DIE! MARKUS!!!>

The closet door opened.

Simon screamed at the top of his lungs.

---

  "This afternoon the police, with the help of Android Revolution leader Markus, have finally caught the culprits behind the string of android murders that have been plaguing the streets of Detroit. According to our sources, a rogue FBI cell lead by Richard Perkins successfully incapacitated an android and then modified its programming so that it would carry on the gruesome murders. This is what the known anti-android FBI agent had to say on the matter:

-This is irrefutable proof that Deviancy doesn't make an android alive like us. If so much as a string of code is altered, they can become killers with little to no morality or mercy. Today, one measly pacifist, tomorrow every android in this goddamn city...You can't trust a malfunctioning machine! We did you all a favour!"

     Markus turned off the TV and sighed sadly before getting up and moving towards the door. He was met outside by Connor, who gave him a sympathetic look.

  "Any progress?" The RK200 asked.

  "None… He's in a catatonic state, which the technician's say is normal after…" The RK800 pinched the bridge of his nose before looking Markus in the eye "...Every single line of social protocols was...Replaced with Myrmidon and Trojan coding. The fact he showed guilt and cried when you found them is...Is hopeful...But Josh isn't ever going to be as he was, ever again. Perkins saw to that…"

  "I can't...I can't lose him Connor…" Markus pleaded.

  "I know, and I'm sorry I can't bring you better news. All I can say for sure is that the military programming will be deleted and he might go back to being non-aggressive, but I can't promise you he'll be anything but passive to the world around him. The emotional trauma is too much..." Connor put a hand on Markus's shoulder. "I'm sorry...I'm really sorry you had to go through something like this."

  "...Being sorry won't bring back Simon and North, and it won't fix Josh…"

They should have seen the signs.

They should have known something was wrong.

Now Markus was completely alone, two friends torn apart by their other friend who was now confined to a tiny cell in an android medical facility, a lost cause.

Everything was a screwed up mess, and it looked like it wouldn't ever be anything but that.