#i think he also wakes up reeeeally easily

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

stsg are equally prone to watching you sleep i think

[soda-pop-kandy-krush]

uhhhh dukeceit if youre comfortable w/ the dark sides, if not maybe analogical

unfortunately i’m not suuuper comfy with dukeceit but will gladly take any other pairing with deciet and another side 💗 but in the mean time, go go analogical!! my two faves hehe 🥺

-

1. Who has the cutest tickle laugh?

godddddd this is so! hard! they both have adorable laughs... but i want to say maybe logan JUST BECAUSE it’s slightly goofier than virgil’s and being all happy and giggly and flustered is a really good look on him. virgil gets embarrassed, but in a sweet, shy sort of way where he obviously wants you to tease him about it- logan’s brain just short-circuits and he is not in control of his laughter when you tickle him ahsgshjdgh

-

2. Who is ticklish in unusual places and where would that be?

i think i’ve already put it in other posts with different pairings, but both of them! virgil’s spots are his back and ears, logan’s are his ears and wrists! i feel like they would gently brush their fingers near those spots whilst cuddling and smirk when they notice the other trying to hide a wobbly grin 🥺💗

-

3. Who gets cheer-up tickles?

both of themmmm hehe especially logan, because i feel like his first instinct when virgil is sad/grumpy isn’t to tickle him (plus it’s more fun to cheer him up and then make him ask for it asjhsjdgh), but it definitely is for virgil LMAO- only when he can tell it’s nothing super serious, though. logan will just be sulking and virgil will sigh and shake his head and pin him to the bed and blow raspberries against his sides and tummy until he’s aaaall cheered up (and a couple extra, just to make sure 😉)

-

4. Who takes advantage of the other one getting their arms stuck while taking off their shirt?

much like he does to roman, logan likes to play games with virgil BUT this time he takes full advantage and will wrap his arms around his torso from behind and get him good (how can you blame him, there are just too many good spots that he can never get at normally because virgil is a squirmer and will wriggle around like a worm) ((also virgil loves it and will make a point of yawning and stretching as much as possible in logan’s presence so he’ll spider his fingers up his ribs and trap him and make him curl into a lil giggly ball))

-

5. How did they discover each other’s ticklishness?

i feel like virgil would probably have been teasing logan about how uptight he is and telling him to ‘loosen up a little’ and logan just narrows his eyes and is like ‘i’ll show you how to loosen up’... cue what virgil will say was a tickle fight, but really he only got in a good five minutes before logan turns the tables and figures out that his torso is all one big death spot ashgdhdgh

-

6. Who can’t take tickle bites?

NEITHER OF THEM AHHHHHH they’re both so easily flustered and this is the quickest way to do it because the shrieking/squealing/snorting etc. noises they make are a) the most adorable thing to ever exist to the ler, but b) horribly embarrassing to the lee LMAO (but honestly, /hj because they secretly love it, it’s so fun and silly and makes them feel all bubbly and giddy and like they’re floating). also, they’re most susceptible to them in different places- for virgil it’s his neck and ears, for logi it’s his shoulder blades 😭💗

-

7. Who has to be tickle-forced out of bed in the morning?

virgeyyyyy- logan likes to stick to a tight schedule, so he’s always awake before virgil, but he’s never truly merciless because he knows that sometimes he has trouble getting a good night’s sleep and so he figures that maybe a pleasant wake-up call will make up for it. he’ll wake up and get dressed and tick a couple of things off of the to-do list, before slinking back up to their room and sitting on the bed and rubbing a hand up and down his back before gently brushing his fingertips against the backs of his ribs (super secret death spot BUT also a melt spot if it’s really light touches like this) until virgil drifts awake with a soft, sleepy smile on his face

-

8. Who gives up in a tickle fight?

listen... virgil may be stubborn but logan is built like a trojan warrior and also knows virgil’s worst spots way better than virgil knows his. unfair? perhaps. does that stop virgil from baiting him into starting a fight he knows he won’t be able to win? absolutely not. also, i know technically they’re all the same height, but in my head logan has an extra 2-3 inches on virgil and so essentially towers over him once logan has him pinned against the bed with his shirt pushed up and his hands trapped under his knees, which makes him feel even smaller and more trapped than he already is and has virgil begging for mercy within minutes ahshsjdghh

-

9. Who is in danger of getting hurt when attacking the other?

virgil is super squirmy but will take everything that’s dished out to him pretty well (mostly because he’s so ticklish that he’s usually too weak to fight back properly so all he can do is wiggle around wahhhhh), and logan is a tiiiiny bit less ticklish than virgil so doesn’t struggle as much, HOWEVER if virgil can manage to shove him onto his front and sit on his legs to get at his feet, he is in imminent danger of being kicked. honestly, the reason why logan is reigning tickle fight champion is 30% his skill/strength and 70% the fear that virgil will get his feet because it’s his worst spot and he CAN’T TAKE IT lmaoooooo

-

10. Who always provokes the other into tickling them and how?

i love this question LMAO i genuinely think i’ve put ‘both teehee <3′ for every single pairing, so why break tradition now? of COURSE both of them provoke one another, but they do so in different ways. here, i think virgil would be a little bit less shy around logan and so will poke and prod him until he yanks him onto his lap and pins his arms against his chest so he has free access to all of the spots around his sides and belly. logan, on the other hand, gets all huffy and flustered when virgil catches him trying to ‘ask’ for tickles by being all cuddly and wrapping virgil’s arm around him so that his hand is closer to some of his better spots, so virgil tells him to ‘use your words, braniac...’ if he reeeeally wants to be tickled. which, he does, so he’ll bury his face into virgil’s chest and mumble them, barely loud enough to be heard, but virgil doesn’t need to be told twice before digging his fingers up underneath his arms and making him shriek hehe 💗

[kitsmits]

KaiKashi Fluff Alphabet!

So @eye-of-moon-15 had an interesting request: the Fluff Alphabet for KaiKashi! This was lots of fun, thank you so much for asking for this! (It’s actually helping me get my mojo back for TUTN, too!) :)

Activities -What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Mostly they’re pretty content to just be in the same room, doing their own things. In a more “modern/AU” setting where TV is a thing (or I guess the...shudder...Boruto era?), they’d definitely do Netflix binges.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Kaiya has a thing for Kakashi’s facial bone structure. I mean, the man is practically chiseled from marble. She also reeeeally loves his shoulders. And back. And chest. Basically, the whole upper torso. Oh, and that lazy smile he has when he first wakes up.

Kakashi admires a lot about Kaiya...though if he HAD to pick...she has a great ass. He also loves how her whole face lights up when she’s excited about something, and how energetic she becomes.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Kaiya is more prone to panic attacks than depressive episodes, so when one happens, Kakashi first reminds her to breathe. He usually also stays near her, having her focus on him until she calms down, then holding her if she needs it.

Kakashi, on the flip side, is more prone to depressive episodes. When Kaiya notices one happening, she’ll often come up behind him and wrap her arms around him, just reminding him that he isn’t alone, he isn’t worthless or a failure, he is loved.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

For Kakashi, this is perhaps the first time he’s ever seen himself settling down, or even wanting to. He imagines the two of them traveling together, raising dogs or kids or both, and - wonder of wonders - growing old together.

Kaiya cannot imagine her future without Kakashi. Period. Whatever happens, whatever they wind up doing, it’ll be together. So...kind of the same ^_^

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Kaiya’s the dominant one. Kakashi is more passive and tends to defer to her :P

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Well, considering that Kaiya’s forgiven Kakashi for essentially lying about her own identity to her for much of her life...there isn’t much they can’t work through :P When they do fight or argue, they’re pretty opposite: Kaiya NEEDS to talk and express what she’s thinking and feeling, but Kakashi tends to process things internally. Especially in the beginning of their relationship (and long before it was romantic), this was very difficult for Kaiya especially to adjust to and understand. She would misinterpret his lack of communication as apathy, rather than recognize that Kakashi is just a much more introverted person who’s unused to expressing himself openly.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Sooooo grateful on both ends! Kaiya sometimes can’t believe that Kakashi has been with her, in one way or other, for so long - even during a more tumultuous period where she went back to a certain old flame. He understands her better than anyone has before, and his steady presence is like a rock for her.

Kakashi also can’t believe that this gorgeous, smart, witty woman sees anything in him - and not least of all because of the major lie that loomed over their friendship in the beginning! He’s long assumed he was either unworthy of love, or that even if he did get close to someone, that just meant that he’d lose them. Or - his worst nightmare - that HE would be the one to end their life somehow. He’s grateful for every day they’re alive together. Also, Kaiya challenges him, pushes him to be a more actively involved person in the village rather than simply following orders. She helped him become more proactive at a time in his life when he’d stagnated a bit. 

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Uhhhh....well, not anymore. After the Big Lie about Kaiya’s identity, they’ve endeavored to be honest with each other.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Lol - I feel like “G” kind of touched on this :P For Kaiya, Kakashi is a grounding force. Also, by learning to trust him again after the Big Lie, she learned to trust herself again as well - her instinct about him, that he was a good person, really had been right. After Itachi and the massacre...she’d lost that confidence in her own judgment.

Kakashi did change as well. By opening himself up to Kaiya, he opened himself up to living life and having a future.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Eh, not really on either side, actually. They trust each other - though they might get annoyed with people who are overly persistent with the other :P

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Kakashi is a GREAT kisser. Assertive, but not aggressive - a perfect balance of give and take. Very much a tease with his tongue :P

Kaiya is a passionate kisser, though she tends to let the other person take the lead. However, she’s more than happy to initiate :P

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

I’ll answer this as a hypothetical, though it happened in the old TUTN :P Kaiya would be pretty straightforward, though she’d ramble her way through it out of nervousness!

Kakashi...I think he’d be straight-forward too, but in a casual way. Like...he’d just say something like, “So...I like you.” And it would be out of nowhere, apropos of nothing. But it would also take him a looooooong time to finally say it :P

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

When the question of marriage comes up, it’s after they’ve been together for a while. They already live together. Heck, they may have already had a kid. It only comes up as a practical concern, or because other people have been hounding them about it. They wouldn’t want a big wedding, and would prefer to just elope. However, if that wasn’t an option (and it probably wouldn’t be), Kaiya would have Gorou give her away, and Kakashi would have Guy as his best man. After the wedding, it’d be back to life as usual, though they’d each get a kick out of calling each other “husband” and “wife” :P

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Kaiya has several for Kakashi: Old man, Copy-Nin, (teasing) sensei, (also teasing) Hokage-sama

Kakashi doesn’t have many for Kaiya. But when he is Hokage, he’ll call Kaiya “Hokage-sama” and insist she’s the one who does all the work. Partly in an attempt to make her do the work. :P

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Omg...just about everyone could tell these two would be a Thing long before they finally got together. They were constantly teasing and bantering with each other. Kakashi would actually show up on time to things having to do with Kaiya (well, sometimes). When they do finally get together, they don’t think they act any different...but they do. It’s in how they look at each other, how they always seem to be close together.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

They don’t actively hide it, but they don’t advertise, either. People know they’re together (See “O”), but they’re not big into PDA, at least at first. Later on, after they’ve been together a while and things are less tense in the village overall, they’re more open about having arms around each other and little pecks. They still save the heavier stuff for more private places.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Kakashi’s a good cook - better than Kaiya is! Kaiya CAN cook, and she’s learned a lot from Hikaru, but she’s more used to quick, convenient meals with long shelf lives.

Kaiya...well, her barrier jutsu has come in very handy at times...if ya know what I’m sayin’ ;)

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Kakashi likes making candlelit dinners for them. He definitely prefers it to going out! Kaiya humors Kakashi’s requests to try out things from Icha Icha ;) She’d never admit it out loud, but once she got past the squick factor of her godfather being the creator of that series, she actually has fun playing out the scenarios.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Definitely! These two are partners in many things - life, work. Even at the start, Kakashi supported and low-key mentored Kaiya, training with her so she could be a stronger fighter and being a sounding board for her Fuinjutsu work. For a while, Kaiya actually felt inadequate, like she didn’t have any way to reciprocate; Kakashi is older, more experienced...what did she offer? But she pushes him, keeps him on his toes, and provides confidence when he’s lacking. Eventually, they’re on more even footing in a lot of ways.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out their relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Sometimes, yes, they do try out new things - usually in the bedroom (or wherever they happen to be trying those new things!). There isn’t much in everyday life they try, though. They’re usually just relieved to have a relatively calmer, less drama- and danger-filled life.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

They’ve gotten to know each other very well. Again, in the beginning, Kaiya had a hard time with Kakashi because he just isn’t very outwardly expressive. But once she learned to interpret his subtle tells, and once he learned how to talk about his thoughts and feelings more, they’ve gotten very good at reading each other.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

It’s one of the most important things in each of their lives. It’s not the ONLY thing - there’s family, friends, their commitment to making the world better, etc. But they never take it for granted.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Behind closed doors, Kakashi is very cuddle-hungry! He loves to just hold Kaiya or rest on her lap or chest with her massaging his scalp. Sometimes he lays his head over her heart just to hear it beating.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Yes, just not as much in public view!

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

They’ll distract themselves, usually with work, or if possible (ie, they’re not on a lonely mission), with friends and family. If/when phones become a thing in the Narutoverse, they’d definitely call each other at least once a day to check in (assuming circumstances allowed).

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

I think so. It goes without saying that they’d die - or kill - for each other, but I see this question as being about other parts of a long term relationship. They’d be open to things like counseling. One might think that their busy, mission-filled lives would get in the way and create resentment on at least one side...but for the most part, it doesn’t. One of the reasons they work so well together is that they both understand how important the village and their work is. They’re used to putting other things above their own needs and desires. However...sometimes they do need to just take time off to be together, just the two of them. Sometimes that’s harder for them to do than arguing or fighting off enemies. Again, they don’t take their relationship for granted necessarily...but they do forget that they’re allowed to be selfish sometimes for their own sakes.

[im-no-jedi]

ok! here’s the first set of questions for my Voltron OCs. since there’s so many of them, I’m splitting them into two posts. here’s Faelyn first:

1. What do they smell like? - probably a mixture of sweat and whatever soap she uses to clean her armor with LOL 

2. What is their voice like? - Daisy Ridley

3. What is their biggest motivator? - she made a vow to protect Princess Allura at all costs to both her brother and King Alfor, so you better believe she’s gonna do that

4. What is their most embarrassing memory? - she doesn’t really get embarrassed?? she gets flustered around Keith sometimes but that’s about it LOL

5. How do they deal with/react to pain? - she shrugs it off, usually tries to make light of the situation, no matter how bad it is. she’s literally like that part in Frozen with Olaf, “oh look, I’ve been impaled” XD

6. What do they like to wear? - she wears her Altean Guard armor pretty much every waking moment. hardly anyone outside of Allura has seen her without her armor on

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively? - Allura, because she’s her best friend and would do anything for her. and Shiro, because he reminds her of her brother.

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten? - all Altean food is weird LOL

9. Describe the way that they sleep. - she sleeps very soundly, she can get to sleep pretty easily, but she’ll pop up at a moment’s notice, ready for anything 

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food? - she loves the food goo, but her favorite is Nunvil. she went around asking all the paladins if she could have their Nunvil at that party when she found out nobody liked it LOL

11. What do they feel most insecure about? - that she’s not doing enough for her friends, even after they’ve told her that she’s more than helped them, it’s just never enough for her

12. How do they like to dress? - again, she wears her armor pretty much all the time except when she’s sleeping

13. How do they react to feelings of guilt? - she is soooo hard on herself, she never thinks she’s doing enough for anyone, and even though she wears a happy face 99% of the time, she always manages to make herself feel guilty about something (probably due to what happened to her brother during the start of the war)

14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal? - LOL you better run cause she gon frick you up son. if S3 Shiro turns out to be an evil clone, he’s gonna get socked in the face real hard haha

15. What is their greatest achievement? - overcoming her fears and owning up to her duty as Allura’s official bodyguard

16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep? - exactly like Leslie in that one episode of Parks & Rec, she acts like everything’s fine, but she just starts spouting nonsense LOL

17. What are they like when they’re drunk? - similar to when she’s sleep deprived, she acts like everything’s fine, but she’ll run into walls and say weird things and stuff like that LOL

18. What kind of music do they enjoy? - she likes whatever the other paladins listen to, but Shiro and Keith’s music are her favorite kind (also when she finds out the both of them can sing and Keith can play guitar, she’s just like *heart eyes* XD)

19. Are they right or left handed? - she’s ambidextrous, but mostly right-handed

20. Fears? - losing loved ones :c

21. Favorite kind of weather? - she looooves the rain, she’ll go out and dance barefoot in the rain she loves it so much X3

22. Favorite color? - blue!

23. Do they collect anything? - battle scars >:D

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more? - hot, but she’s good with either

25. What is their eye color? - blue-green

26. What is their race/ethnicity? - Altean, skin tone similar to Coran’s

27. Hair color? - it’s really hard to describe... it’s an orange pinky brown color... like imagine Coran’s hair but more brown and also slightly pink? I’ll have to post a pic of it sometime LOL

28. Are they happy where they are currently? - very much so

29. Are they a morning person? - absolutely

30. Sunrise or sunset? - both

31. Are they more messy or more organized? - pretty organized, but she’s not afraid to get messy ;)

32. Pet peeves? - when someone doesn’t listen or pay attention to what someone else is saying

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance? - her sword used to belong to her brother, he gave it to her when she became Allura’s bodyguard. it’s the only thing she has to remember him by :c

34. Least favorite food? - idk she’s not very picky LOL

35. Least favorite color? - she loves all the colors! \o/

36. Least favorite smell? - the paladins’ dirty laundry ROFL

37. When was the last time they cried? - ....when her brother was killed ;__;

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried? - Allura and Coran were both there. they’ve never seen Fae so upset before or since that moment :c

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured? - her arm nearly got impaled by a sword once. that was one of those laugh-it-off moments LOL

40. Do they have any scars? - pretty much everywhere yeah haha

41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues? - well, she often hides her pain behind a happy and cheerful attitude, but I wouldn’t call that a “mental health issue”, just a problem with admitting her true feelings

42. Do they have any bad habits? - she has a tendency to punch first, ask questions later ROFL

43. Why might someone dislike them? - I guess if you don’t like perky people, she could come across as annoying

44. Why might someone love them? - she’s a very caring person, also quite goofy and just fun overall. also she stronk LOL

45. Do they believe in ghosts? - LOL nah

46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives? - all of her friends, she trusts them very much

47. Are they romantically interested in anyone? - she has a reeeeeeeeeally big crush on Keith. like, she’ll go out of her way to ask him to spar with her just so she can spend time with him LOL

48. Are they dating/married to anyone? - I’ve thought up instances where she gets with Keith, Shiro, or Tyzh; my preference is Keith, but she could easily get with Shiro or Tyzh too

49. Do they like surprises? - YES. if she was given a surprise party, she would absolutely LOVE IT.

50. When is their birthday? - sometime in the spring, haven’t decided exactly when yet

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday? - not very big, usually only with the people closest to her. she’s never had a real birthday party before, but she’d love to have one

52. Do they have any family? - she used to have an older brother, but he died at the beginning of the war with the Galra. the paladins, Allura, and Coran are her family now :3

53. Are they close to their family? - VERY MUCH SO

54. What is their MBTI type? - I took two different quizzes, and she came out as ESFP for both of them, so I guess that’s the one!

55. What is their zodiac sign? - *shrugs*

56. What Hogwarts House would they be in? - Hufflepuff, definitely. she could easily be a Gryffindor too though

57. What D&D alignment are they? - Chaotic Good haha

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about? - she has dreams about the day her brother died sometimes :c

59. What are their views on death? - NOPE. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. NOBODY DIES WHILE SHE’S AROUND NOPE.

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at? - literally anything, she even laughs at Lance’s bad jokes, even when she doesn’t understand them LOL

61. When bored, how do they pass time? - she’s like, always in the training rooms tbh

62. Do they enjoy being outside? - oh yes

63. Do they have an accent? - British, she sounds exactly like Daisy Ridley’s normal voice

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction? - she’s never had cake before, but she reeeeally wants to try it after hearing the paladins describe it to her. she would gobble it down as soon as she saw it LOL

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say? - she would tell everyone how much she loves them and give everyone a big bear hug

66. How do they feel about sex? - she’s... definitely thought about it haha

67. What is their sexuality? - pansexual, but she leans more towards masculine people

68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood? - nah LOL

69. Is there anything that they find really gross? - not that I can think of, she’s pretty tolerant of stuff

70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them? - Beware the Nice Ones LOL 

71. Do they enjoy helping people? - TOO MUCH LOL

72. Are they allergic to anything? - nope

73. Do they have a pet? - no, but she loves playing with the castle mice

74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper? - only if someone or something threatens Allura or one of her other friends. she’s VERY protective of Allura especially. she will not hesitate to punch a man if need be for insulting the princess LOL

75. How patient are they? - quite patient!

76. Are they good at cooking? - she’s ok at it, she’d much rather have Hunk do the cooking though

77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often? - only playfully or if she’s really mad

78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy? - she’s happy like, all the time, that’s her thing LOL

79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears? - she’s very understanding and tries to be as encouraging as possible to help them work through their fears

80. Are they trustworthy? - the most trustworthy person you’ll ever meet :3

81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it? -  YES.

82. Do they exercise regularly? - all the friggin time LOL

83. Are they comfortable with the way they look? - yup!

84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people? - good physical prowess, being good with a sword, and just being a good fighter in general.

85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive? - aggressive, emo guys I guess LOL

86. Do they like sweet foods? - OH YES

87. What is their age? - 18 human years, +10,000 from being in cryostasis for so long

88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between? - she’s considered tall for a female, she’s about an inch taller than Keith

89. Do they wear glasses or contacts? - nope

90. Do they consider themselves attractive? - not as much as Allura

91. What is their sense of humor like? - she’ll laugh at literally anything, even the dumbest things

92. What mood are they most often in? - cheerful, happy, positive, upbeat, all that stuff :3

93. What kinds of things anger them? - insulting or threatening Allura or her other friends and just the Galra army in general

94. Outlook on life? - positive, very positive

95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed? - when her friends are sad or depressed

96. What is their greatest weakness? - not being open about her true feelings

97. What is their greatest strength? - being able to see the good in pretty much anyone and anything, and being super supportive of other people

98. Something that they regret? - not accepting her role as Allura’s bodyguard sooner and just overall being a stinker about being a bodyguard instead of a soldier like her brother

99. Biggest accomplishment? - realizing that she didn’t need to be a soldier to make a difference in the war and accepting where she needed to be with Allura so that she could protect her c’:

[inscmniac]

taejae💘

ship meme : taejae edition.

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation: jaesung. i feel like he’s more impulsive when it comes to that and, besides, taemin is a cat person, pls. on top of that, he’s not too crazy about having a pet. it’s much more expected of him to bring a random baby/child and be like HEY HELLO YES I ADOPTED THIS HUMAN I’M A DAD NOW. 

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them: jaesung. taemin despises having his picture taken and despises having to take pictures of others, so this would rile him up beyond belief. GET THAT CAMERA AWAY FROM ME, BAK. I SWEAR TO GOD. BAK. I WILL BREAK IT. I. WILL. BREAK. IT.

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy: jaesung grwobgwr i think he’s more prone to being zany?? i don’t think taemin would actually put a crazy amount of effort into making jaesung laugh. you know that he doesn’t do stuff the conventional way, so doing stupid shit and making a fool of himself to make someone else happy? no. no, thank you. but when jaesung does it, he laughs quietly and tells him that he’s dumb but his mood always improves.

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them: taemin. and not because he expects jaesung to be scared and cling to him because of that. taemin has nightmares and seeing gore and carnage on the screen only makes it worse for him, since it triggers his surpressed memories. however, whenever they’re voting on a movie to watch during movie night, taemin always goes for a horror one bc he knows jaesung will always be there to hold his hand under a blanket or hold him in a way that others can’t see. plus, he always has an excuse to crawl into bed with jaesung after a scary movie.

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them: taemin. i mean pls, he has his nose buried in his math problems most of the time and always complains about being too busy and having a lot to study. and jaesung is the one who’s constantly distracting his nerd.

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated: taemin. mostly because he reaaaaaally hates texting and he never replies to anyone’s messages on time, so when he really wants to talk to jaesung, he just facetimes him. plus, he loooves seeing his stupid face ok.

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do: taemin storms out and leaves jaesung behind to cry ( or not ). this is mostly because anger quickly consumes him but he doesn’t want to say something too horrible or physically hurt him, so most of the time he bolts the fuck away and probably goes somewhere to fuck shit up and cry by himself until he’s stone cold again. 

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows: both. they have sleeping problems so they stay up together and watch a couple of different shows. sometimes when jaesung falls asleep during an episode, taemin continues to watch it but then watches it again with jaesung next time.

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky: taemin. he generally looooves biting jaesung everywhere. poor jaesung probably always has at least one bite mark from taemin somewhere on his body. but biting his ear and whispering and moaning into it? he lives for that shit. 

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car: jaesung. i feel like he’s more playful and more likely to tease taemin and do random shit just to get a reaction out of him because tae’s reactions are priceless.

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays: jaesung. taemin loves having his house looking nice and decorated and appropriate during holidays but he finds the entire process nerve-wrecking because everything needs to be organized and well thought out and just the way he sees it in his head. this is why i think jaesung has more fun with it and gets into the whole holiday spirit easier - taemin is just like THIS IS ONLY A BIG FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY I HATE THIS GOD I HAVE TO GO BUY PRESENTS AND DO ALL SORTS OF STUPID SHIT HFLEFEFEL I JUST WANNA SIT DOWN AND SHUT DOWN PLEASE SPARE ME *has his 305th mental breakdown*

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other: taemin. can jaesung shut up even when he’s mad ?? but listen taemin can easily cut ties with people in his life and never speak to them again. when it comes to jaesung, it’s different. he won’t speak to him for an hour and then he’ll get over himself just to tell him that he’s an irritating dumbass who makes him want to tear his hair out.

who plays with the others’ hair more: taemin. he’s more likely to do subtle things like that. besides, he doesn’t enjoy having people play with his hair a lot. he might let jaesung do it sometimes, but it makes him shiver and flinch and he does nooot enjoy it. but?? tugging on his hair???? do that.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored: jaesung. i think he really loves to bother taemin and ask for his attention and i feel like this is mostly when taemin’s studying or watching something online and not paying attention to his needy roommate oops. 

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can: taemin. shocker. but he reeeeally loves kissing. all types of it. he’d be fine with staying in bed and lazily kissing all day while it’s cold and raining outside. though, sometimes he is like… am i suffocating him? does he really want to kiss me? so he goes a long time without initiating kisses and waits for jaesung to be the one to do it. tbh he doesn’t kiss him directly all the time but he loves getting only inch away from jaesung’s mouth and just staying there in order to see who’s going to be the first one to give in.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up: jaesung. probably does it on purpose because he knows taemin won’t be able to resist him and will lean in in order to bite his pouty lip gently.

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up: both initiate it. and i feel like both of them do it at the most inappropriate times? like, jaesung ?? 100% allowed to drive him mental while he’s doing homework and request for him to do him instead lmao. taemin has this weird thing where he loves to tease him when they’re in front of other people ?? like, movie night would be the perfect opportunity for him to play with jaesung bc he’s an asshole. also, @cash never let them in your pool/hot tub bc taemin will press against jaesung and try some freaky shit. he’s also always looking for ways to spice it up bc he’d rather kill himself or jaesung or both than have their sex life become boring. taemin is the one who walks away when he gets jaesung riled up too. pardon my french in the following sentence but he lives for grinding against him until he’s hard and then leaving, denying him orgasms and edging him HE’S AN ASSHOLE OK BUT that’s a huge turn on for him. he may be a bottom but he’s a power bottom who knows what he’s doing.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one: jaesung forgets it and taemin carries it. this is because taemin never forgets his shit. he checks whether he has everything twelve times before leaving the house. i think that even when jaesung forgets it, taemin is like oh guess you’re going back home to grab it now, what a shame. and he lets him turn around and head home or somewhere to buy a new umbrella and then he screams out I BROUGHT IT, YOU DICKHOLE. and ofc taemin carries it because jaesung is taller than him and taemin is like I’M WET BC OF YOU CAN YOU EITHER HOLD THAT SHIT LOWER OR I CAN BREAK YOUR LEGS. and basically taemin smacks jaesung’s head with the umbrella a lot. sometimes on purpose but most of the time because he’s short and too lazy to raise his arm more.

who demands showering first in the mornings: taemin. he has a strict morning routine and he has to do it every single morning or else he’ll die. he’s really slow so he generally needs more time to do shit and he has the reputation of being extremely punctual so he can never be late in his entire life. maybe once jaesung fooled him over and went to the bathroom first and taemin had a meltdown and was like NEVER AGAIN.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings: jaesung. and taemin’s reaction to it depends on what exactly he needs to do after it and where he needs to be. if it’s not a busy morning for him, he definitely chooses to have fun with the other but when he’s in a hurry, he teases him and leaves him in the shower with blue balls and is like SO LONG SUCKA. he sometimes also wakes up feeling suuuuper annoyed and self-conscious so that’s when he’s like… leave me the fuck alone. probably gets out and waits naked in their room for jaesung to finish so that he can get ready in peace.

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games: taemin prefers riding the roller coasters and jaesung prefers playing the games. taemin is a much quieter person and holds all of his emotions in so roller coasters are one of his favorite things in the world because he gets to scream his lungs out and let out all of his emotions at once. besides, he finds games boring most of the time and is a sore loser.

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond: jaesung. i feel like jaesung does that because taemin is a sloth and it takes him a lot to reply but he also does it when taemin randomly doesn’t come home after midnight and he knows he’s all alone. taemin doesn’t text him in that situation, he always calls and yells at him lol.

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight: taemin. that’s why he always whines about his battery being extremely low during the day and asks people for a charger. but he needs to have his phone in his bed at night and needs to play with it until he falls asleep or else he’ll die. he also needs it right next to his head so that he’d hear the alarm go off in the morning - again, he’d rather die than be late for something.

who comes up behind the other and slides their hands into their back pockets: jaesung. this is mostly because taemin has a perfect butt that needs to be appreciated glwjhogw. one of his favorite things is when he’s kissing a guy who’s taller than him and that dude slides his hands in his back pockets and grabs his booty in a way that he pulls him up a lil?? and tae’s on his tiptoes with his hands in his hair !! he loooves that. and it doesn’t matter that they’re friends, whenever he and jaesung are cuddling at night, he sort of guides his hand down bc he lives for booty grabs bc he generally loves feeling smaller and that entire thing kinda says you’re mine in his head and he’s into that so.

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can: jaesung. this is because i want a lot of taejae backhugs and taemin is sorta smol for it to be as enjoyable for them as it would be if jaesung was the one hugging taemin. 

who is louder and who constantly has to tell the other to be quiet: jaesung is definitely louder and he talks all the time, we all know that. taemin doesn’t tell him to be quiet, he tells him to shut the fuck up. sometimes he’s genuinelly annoyed and sometimes he just says it in hopes that jaesung will reply with shut me up so that he could yk… punch him in the mouth… iM KIDDINGHGOIWAGHBWEGO

[flatsuke]

The bidders as best friends

lmao if i had any of them as my best friend….what a shitstorm

@maidofstars @bolt8826 @tsundere-eevee @themysticaldaydreamer @alolan-lillie @2bedroom-baddestbidderlove

Eisuke:

He surprisingly doesn’t have a lot of friends because of his…personality, so if you can stand his ego, he’s actually a pretty decent friend. 

He’s a pretty honest friend. Sometimes, too honest. He’s not afraid to question your life choices or talk shit to you in front of your face. According to him, he’s the only one who can tell you how ugly your shirt is. If anyone else does it, he’ll gladly roast them for you.

He buys the most unnecessary, extravagant gifts for birthdays and Christmases. No matter how much you try to give them back to him, he won’t have it.

Though he does talk shit to you, he’s willing to talk shit about others with you! He’s always down for drama, so long as it doesn’t involve him, of course.

It’s hard to get him drunk, but when he is, he gets reeeeally clingy. Good luck trying to shake him off. 

He’s the cause of 95% of the fights. Still, he secretly feels guilty about it and tries to make it up to you by treating you out to food because there’s no way in hell he’d ever apologize out loud.

Sometimes, you get random texts and calls from him at 2AM about god-knows-what. He claims it’s because he’s trying to annoy you, but it’s honestly because he’s a bit lonely. 2AM makes people think about deep shit, after all.

Soryu: 

He doubles as your best confidante. He’s not exactly the best talker between the both of you, but he’ll gladly listen to you vent for hours on end.

No matter how terrible you cook, he’ll always tell you how great the food tastes because a) he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and b) he’s an even worse cook than you are.

People sometimes mistake him for your bodyguard or boyfriend because of how tough he looks. He always rejects the former, but he never denies the latter for some reason…

He gives you self-defense items for your birthday every year. Last year, he gave you a stun gun with a million volts.

If anyone’s giving you a hard time, he’ll willingly take care of them for you. Sometimes, he doesn’t even have to do anything but glare to get the job done.

Shopping with him is…awkward. He always gets flustered when you guys enter the women’s clothing store. Hell, he almost fainted when you were buying feminine hygiene products with him. At least he tries, the poor bean.

You’re the only person who knows how much he loves his detective novels. His eyes sparkle every time he talks about them with you.

Baba: 

He’s the life of the party! You guys always have fun whenever you go out. Of course, he almost never gets drunk and always takes you home after a wild night.

He’s the friend who always has a plan. Need a ride? He’ll ask if you want a cab or his car. Stuck in a boring event? No problem, he’ll find a way to get you. Need a date to your company gala? He’ll even bring flowers.

Sometimes, you just want to text him, but he always calls you.

He calls you around 50 different nicknames. You stopped trying to keep track of them.

He always tags you in pictures, even the ones you look ugly in. 

If you’re stressed, he’s the best person to go to because he knows just how to have a good time, whether it be to go out and party, or relax at home.

Whenever he tells you jokes, you laugh hysterically not because the joke itself was funny, but because his laugh was hilarious.

Ota:

This guy always wants to take a selfie with you, even if you just saw him the day before. He has an album on his phone full of selfies with you.

Hell, whenever you go out with him, it’s like he’s filming a documentary. He always tries to Snapchat everything smh

His way of cheering you up on a bad day is spamming your phone with doggo memes and embarrassing pictures he took of other people.

Sometimes, a simple text ends up becoming a full-blown, 4-hour conversation, full of memes or heart-to-heart confessions.

For your birthday, he gave you a handmade collage of all the selfies you had together.

He gets bored easily, so he always drags you with him when he wants to go somewhere or do something.

You’re honestly a bit jealous of him because he eats so much junk, yet his skin stays flawless all the damn time. He never fails to rub it in when he has a chance.

Mamoru:

He’s the friend that says he’s on the way, when in reality, he still hasn’t gotten out of bed.

You always end up feeding him or treating him whenever you go out. He swears he’ll pay you back…when he gets his paycheck.

He sometimes seen zones you not because he’s purposely ignoring you, but because he forgets to reply.

One time, he forgot your birthday and felt so guilty about it that he gave you “Ask Mamoru to do whatever you want” coupons to last a month.

He smokes in front of you, but he won’t let you try any of his cigarettes because he doesn’t want you to smoke.

He always carries the heavy stuff/moves the bulky items before you even ask him.

He’ll walk you to your house to make you feel safe. However, if you ask him, he’ll deny it altogether.

Shuichi:

He’s the Mom Friend™. He always reminds you of the stuff you forget, and even though you find it annoying sometimes, you remember he nags because he cares.

He seems so stressed all the time that sometimes you want to let him kick back and let loose for a bit. You were surprised to find out that he does let loose — so much that he becomes a completely different person.

He granted you the special, once-in-a-lifetime privilege of calling him “Shu.”

Whenever he sees how messy your house is, he doesn’t hesitate to nag you about it and start cleaning.

He’s not ashamed to walk around in his underwear in front of you. Even if you get flustered, too bad. It’s your problem now.

He also gave you the elusive privilege of watering his cactus.

Before you think of doing anything remotely stupid, he’ll always be there to give you the full cost-benefit analysis, coupled with a list of every single back-up plan just in case something goes wrong.

Luke:

You became friends through chance. One day, you were feeding some stray cats with him near a store, and it was history from there.

He prefers to stay home rather than go out. He’ll only go out if you really, really want him to, but even then, he’ll stay in his own corner or cling to you the whole time.

He forgets to take care of himself often, so you have to text him every day to remind him to eat breakfast or go to bed.

But whenever you get sick, he goes full-blown doctor mode. Medicine, food, hugs — you name it, he’ll have it.

He’s normally pretty docile and absentminded, but if anyone hurts you, there will be hell to pay. Nobody hurts his friends and lives to tell the tale.

At first, he was afraid you’d find his interests strange, but once you reassured you him you weren’t weirded out, he was so happy he even teared up a little.

He got you a kitty plushie with a card for your birthday!

Hikaru:

Being friends with him is like being in a never-ending prank war. You never know when he’s cooking something up. 

People always think the both of you are mortal enemies because of the way you insult each other, but in reality, that’s just how both of you normally talk.

He’s hacked into your phone and changed your wallpaper more times than you can count.

Like Ota, he spams you with memes when you’re feeling down.

He tried comforting you once, but it ended with him saying “Well, even a dummy like you needs to let out their snot and tears sometimes.” He’s secretly trying to work on his brusque speech.

Both of you always fight about stupid things. Pineapple pizza or no pineapple pizza, the color of the dress, and even how “gif” is pronounced.

When both of you play pranks on others, both of you are unstoppable.

Bonus - MC: 

Literally the best friend you could ever ask for. She understands what you need without you having to say anything.

She’ll make you food if you’re feeling down, and damn, her food is delicious.

She gets a little emotional after movies, so you have to hug her for a bit to cheer her up.

If you ever feel insecure, she’ll try to make you feel better by telling you how precious you are…plus, she’ll also tell you how insecure she is.

She’ll chide you if you do something dumb, but she’ll always forgive you in the end.

She sends you little messages when you wake up to brighten your day every morning.

No matter what you do, she’ll never judge you for it. In fact, she’ll be your number one supporter!

[pet-diary]

Negative rant about school & life...

Been feeling really unmotivated to do anything lately. Just feel like watching YouTube videos or Netflix or just literally doing nothing all the time. Been feeling sorta down about school and life in general.

Having to drop that class was sort of a “wake up call” for me (I mean, not really bc I don’t think that was a *normal* situation. That class was very poorly run and I was making the best decision I could by dropping it while I still had the chance before drop period was over)... But it made me realize that this little streak of ~good experiences~ in school could be screwed up pretty easily. I could screw things up pretty easily. I already feel like I’m on thin ice because of my social anxiety and phobias or whatever you want to call them (i.e. talking on the phone, driving). I feel like my chances at success in life are SO FRAGILE. Like, ok, if I make really good grades and graduate maintaining my GPA, MAYBE that’ll make up for my other failures. If I do well on the GRE (which is like... Totally unknown territory for me rn) MAYBE that'll make up for my other failures. But maybe it won't.

I felt pretty good for about a yr bc the grad school I wanted to apply to felt unintimidating. It was close by, it's small and private, it boasts about teaching equal rights and advocacy, it's not super focused on math and scary things like that. It's mostly focused on conseling but offers a masters, PsyD, and PhD program too (although the PhD might have been not the program I wanted I don't remember now).... But the other day I did this informational interview for my class with a psychologist who stressed the NECESSITY of APA accredidation. She said that if a school isn't accredited I should see that as a big red flag. That they're just fishing for money... That made me feel really really really sad and small because the school I've been thinking I would go to is not currently accredited. They're being reviewed I think, they applied for one of their programs, but they haven't been approved yet and idk if they will be... I actually met with the academic counselor at this school (which was a big moment for me bc I had to prepare for the interview and like, practice questions and stuff of what to say and ask) back in March last year, and I felt reeeeally good about the school! They're building a new campus even closer to my apartment which would be... So perfect... But now I'm doubting all my plans, all my hopes...

Anyway. Trev has been trying to continue to encourage me. But he's going overbboard with it, looking up places like University of Virginia (where he went to school), and Harvard (WTF) because they have an online program now, and William and Mary who accepts 7 people a fucking year (I didn't even know that was normal?? I feel like I'm totally clueless about how everything works)... If I went to a different school than what I was planning we would have to move again. And there's such very little hope that I could ever get into schools like those!! I mean, wtf (ignore the Harvard one, that would literally never happen I wouldn't even try). It all just feels so impossible suddenly... I've been feeling really incapable.

It doesn't help that Dump is in the news all the time saying and doing more fucked up stuff. The world has been so scary lately that I even wonder if school is a viable future choice anymore? Like, at what point does the sky fall? The other day Trev was saying that maybe we should hang on to the money we were going to use to start paying off student loans bc you never know what the future will bring. :( And the scariest part is, I know other people have *REAL* scary problems and things actually are falling down around them...... :((( Fuck it makes me feel so scared and sad.

It also doesn't help that I'm screening my parents. I'm avoiding my dad completely. I'm not exactly avoiding my mom but I'm not going out of my way right now to talk to her... Which feels horrible. I had so much hope for our relationship when I was living there over the summer in 2015. I was really excited to get back to my roots and feel close to my family again. I feel so confused about what went wrong. How did our family get so far apart, gain so much baggage. What happend to us? I feel bad for my grandma because I was visiting them so much for a while. And right now the thought of visiting them again feels so unappealing. But my grandma is getting older and I feel like I need to see her as much as possible... I feel anxious about how to deal with the situation.

I guess for the first time in a while I just don't feel hopeful. We're here in Seattle, there's nothing on the horizon promising greener grass. We don't know if we wanna live here forever (in this apartment, working the same job, applying to schools here, etc). I feel scared about the changes coming, especially because they're coming at me so slow and unclear but always looming. We've had this reeeally long life plan for years now. We'd move to Virginia, then Trev would start school, we'd move again, he'd do an internship in Seattle, we'd move again, he'd finish school, we'd move again, he'd study for the bar, we'd move again, he'd do a clerkship in Richmond, we'd move again, we'd live in Seattle. I feel a little lost. I thought when we moved to Virginia we'd buy an old farmhouse and settle down. Get some goats maybe, lol. Visit family more often... I thought I would do art full time. I thought I might learn to drive. Make some friends. Feel complete.

I just feel exactly as confused and lost and small as I always do...

[doedipus]

LP D&D: It’s Getting Boring by the Sea

It’s finally time for the party to attend the dinner party at Lord Heir’s estate, where they’ve heard rumors that there may be an attempt on John Merrow, the Visible Lord of Waterdeep’s life. Failure to protect him would mean that the city-state would fall completely into the hands of the Anonymous Lords, many of whom had already been swayed by the Sisters of the Night. The gang must work quickly to unravel the conspiracy before it’s too late!

Content under the break.

Trouble at the Mister Mister //A brothel by the harbor in Waterdeep

While Graham was visiting the brothel, his father wanders in out of nowhere

Mr. Broyer is perplexed

“Esmeralda is my friend,” explained the Graham

“Sh-she works here... as a dancer, I think”

Sir Huey, who was supposed to be engaged to (deadname), is also there, and is generally confused.

They want Graham to come back to the estate they’ve been staying at

Grandchildren

Marry Huey

Go back with mother

Condescension and misgendering abound

Jake wants to pause

But there is no pause in d&d

Mr. Broyer finds out that Graham is using his late brother’s name, and is infuriated

He attempts to flip the table and bolt for the door

The family is blocking the door

Graham bungles the table flip

Mr. Broyer attempts to restrain Graham, but he shoulder checks his father, knocking the old man over

He escapes the building, and runs through the streets of Waterdeep

House Broyer chases Graham through the city

Graham is surprisingly nimble, and navigates the goods in the street easily

Some cargo is strewn about the road, and Graham misty steps over it

He tries to hide in Lupe’s hangar //In the gang’s desperate struggle to derive utility from the semi-tame wyvern, they set her up in a warehouse with a receding roof.

Successfully

House Broyer runs past the warehouse, losing Graham

Lupe is nonplussed by his intrusion

She needs her beauty sleep, yo

Lupe happens to have tongues on her from last session //Phrasing!

A “moment” occurs between Graham and Lupe

Graham fills Lupe in on what’s just happened

His explanation rambles a bit

It’s basically his whole life story

...but Lupe went back to sleep

Graham falls asleep on top of Lupe

He dreams of his father’s words, his mother turning into a snake, and the skyline of Calimport

The next morning

Lucas teleports onto the ship

Greg says he was worried

Lucas is a wreck after the incident in Proskur

They go to their room below decks

Lucas tells Greg everything

Gandalf turned out to be a necromancer

He was “experimenting” on the locals

He had to die

Lucas and a friend were able to kill the wizard, but the friend died

When she died, Lucas absorbed her soul

Multiclassing, folks!

Lucas says the “L” word //“Lesbian?” “No, Scott.” “...Lesbians?”

Greg and Lucas make out

Lucas says they’ll get married after they take back Beydale //An inland duchy Greg is the heir to.

Greg seems pleased with this development

The two can rule Beydale

Greg wants to use the party as a platform to raise support for the reconquista of Beydale

Lucas gives Greg the raven statuette //I forget what the significance of this is

The planeswalkers return from Sigil

Without tote bags! What even was the point??

Coy realizes that world geometry makes sense again, kisses the ground

Escrima wants to give “baby girl Coy” a piggyback ride

But Coy wants to get down

Coy wanders off

They remember that they’re missing some party members, and head towards the ship

They pass by Lupe’s hangar, waking up Graham

Graham sees the party, and Coy’s tits

He kisses Coy’s hand

Coy is flustered

Max is also flustered

Coy tries to explain that she’s Coy, but Graham isn’t having it

But eventually, he recognizes her

Graham is confused

“I’m a paladin”

“Esmeralda is my friend”

Escrima sort of explains what happened with Narcovi

Escrima shows Graham his new tramp stamp

It was an ode to mother

Sometimes, Escrima doesn’t feel like he has a body.

Something possesses Graham to try and hug Escrima

...Who is entirely uncomfortable

Graham realizes that Coy transitioned, suddenly

“Coy, you cut your hair!”

“Where did you get... those..?”

Coy explains that she was transformed in a “flesh carving” shop in Sigil

Graham is curious about how to get there

The gang reminds him about the portal in Neverwinter

Everyone’s exhausted, and they head back to the Tavern Estate

Graham is trying reeeeally hard not to stare at Coy’s breasts

Shopping ensues

Coy needs to fix her order with the armorer, and the gang heads to the market district

The Planeswalkers run into Lucas and Greg, who were out buying clothes for the party

Lucas doesn’t recognize Coy

Coy introduces herself, but Lucas doesn’t believe that it’s her

She has big boobs. Coy does not have big boobs

Lucas tries to ask her a question that only she would know the answer to

Coy answers correctly, convincing Lucas of her identity

Lucas realizes that Coy was on the receiving end of a high level spell

He looks around in the book on 9th level spells for an idea of what it was

He takes some brain damage from reading forbidden knowledge

The spell is in there somewhere, but he can’t understand the words

Coy explains everything again

“YOU WENT TO SIGIL WITHOUT ME AGAIN??? MY ADVENTURE SUCKED!”

The gears in Lucas’ head start turning at the mention of that kind of power

He would never turn Coy into a kaiju for fun and profit.

Coy playfully punches Lucas’s shoulder, specifically the one that just got blown to bits

Lucas gets a good enough suit from a good enough shop

Coy goes looking for a dress, but she can’t find exactly what she wants

She gets something anyway, I think (?)

Coy goes to the armorer to be remeasured

It’s gonna take a couple hours and a few more gold.

They arrive back at the estate //Rocky generously allowed the party to stay at a pretty nice mansion in town while we were in the city

Coy wants to know about Akim

The butler is a little confused, but Coy explains herself again

Akim is in Coy’s room

Coy worries about what Akim will think

She goes to visit Akim

But falls asleep instantly

Lucas accidentally calls Jeeves a bartender, and he is indignant

Rolen gives Jeeves some of the wyvern venom, and asks him to sell it

Escrima goes to sleep by the pond

Everyone else goes to sleep in their bed, like normal people

During his trance, Rolen notices that something is trying to get out of his stomach

It has 8 legs

He concentrates real hard, and it goes away

Rolen gets up before everyone else, because elf

He does something clandestine

Graham grows personally to catch up with everyone else 

Rolen reveals that he went out in the night to get a cake and some things for Escrima

The whole lobby of the mansion is decorated

There’s 3 gifts by the cake

Bald head shine oil

Deck of cards from calimport

The bestiary

Rolen and everyone sings “Happy Birthday”

Escrima is confused

Rolen explains that it’s for mothers’ day

He figured that since Escrima was interested in Lupe, he should have some animal handling supplies

Rolen becomes inspired!

The cake gives the gang advantage against fear

Escrima is confused, but pleased

Akim stumbles in

“Oh, there’s cake!”

He’s not used to nice beds... or beds at all, really

He wants to know where Coy is

Coy hides behind Graham

Lucas attempts to explain things

Akim doesn’t care as long as Coy still loves him

Tbh the meme of “what’ll the kids think?” is the dumbest thing. It’s the adults that are the problem.

Coy is nervous about being a teen parent

The party is in 2 hours

Coy picks up her armor

Graham picks up Esmeralda

Esmeralda is working a customer when he gets there

Graham awkwardly asks if she can go to the party

She’s reluctant after the fit that was pitched last night

He gives her some cash, and she agrees to go

Lucas & Greg “prepare” for the party

Lucas applies mage armor to the both of them

The gang picks up their stuff from the tailor

The stuff there gives a +1 to CHA

Neverwinter styles rock, apparently

The merchant wants some of the fabric that Connie’s dress is made of

She says that all attendees need to make a donation to the sisters to enter

Escrima goes to Lupe’s Hangar

Escrima uses beast speech to talk to Lupe

Lupe confers that it will protect the party

...but Escrima forgot to unchain her

Connie disguises herself as a noble-looking human //Specifically, a different one than the last time she ran into the Sisters

They reach the entrance

Inventories are reduced

Coy is wearing some kinda armor, because she’s too good for the dress Connie got her in Sigil

The guards don’t care anyway

Plebs!

The gang flashes their invitations

It’s 100 gp per person to enter

The highest donation gets to chill with Elsa and Lord Heir

Greg talk about Beydale with some nobles

The town of MossStone was destroyed recently, which worries Lucas

His brother lived there

Greg mentions his quest

But the nobles aren’t having it

The sisters have told the nobles that they’ll take care of the hordes in the south

Greg blows his stack

The nobles tell them to cool it

Lucas yanks Greg away, and tells him that the nobles might not be worth it.

He tries to console him. The gang can handle anything the sisters can throw at them

...But it’s still not an army

One of the nobles has a sisters of the night logo

Sister Melina

The gang wanders around

Coy runs into that guy he stole the pendant from

But the guy doesn’t notice the pendant around her neck

Coy enters one of the buildings

A handful of sisters are milling about

Lord Heir is there, talking about how great the sisters are //The Sisters were calling themselves the “Sisters of Dawn,” and trying to act like humanitarians or something. The city apparently believed them, and allowed them to park airships above the city for some reason.

Coy has an idea. Oh no!

The players tell Max to not get them all arrested

She checks to see if Hier is married

There’s no ring there...

She tries to awkwardly hit on Hier

Hier introduces some of his bros

He talks about how he met the sisters of the night

Connie and Rolen try to save Merrow

Connie uses sending to tell him that his life might be in danger

Merrow tells her to meet him in a shed on the edge of the estate

The pair start heading over

Graham bumps into Merrow on the way over

Merrow says that he’d seen the rest of House Broyer at the party

Graham tries to brag about Esmeralda

But Merrow’s having none of it

Esmeralda remarks that she knows a lot of people at the party

She’s had a “professional” relationship with Merrow in the past

Somehow Graham is oblivious to all the innuendo being thrown around

Some bard intercepts Graham and Esmeralda

He says some absurd limerick

Graham is amused by his jokes

Merrow, Connie, and Rolen meet in the shed

They try to be stealthy, but the door is real squeaky

He deduces the pair works for Rocky

Rolen explains the theory about the assassination attempt

Merrow tells the pair that he isn’t in more danger than usual

He wants to gather information at the party

Merrow wants to raise a levy to reconquer the south

Rolen gives Merrow a death ward, and leaves

At this point, Kim had to leave to yell at kids for 3 hours, and the session ended prematurely.

Escrima is nervous about all the socializing, and does some people watching

A waiter offers him a drink

Escrima wants to know if there are any ponds

There aren’t, but there’s a fountain

It has frogs in it

Escrima heads for the pond

Escrima gets to the pond

There’s a jester/bard there, hyucking it up

Escrima asks if he “can see the ripples in the sky make it boom boom”

Jester hands him a frog, and turns it into a rabbit

Escrima is nonplussed

Escrima really wants the boom boom

Jester appeases him with some fireworks

“You need to pacify the people,” he asks the jester

Escrima wants the jester to gtfo of the fountain so he can drink

He has to make a CON saving throw

It doesn’t sit well, and he pukes his guts out

The noblery leave in disgust

Jester is pissed, that was a lot of tip money

Rolen and Connie discuss plans

They decide they want to try and get into the VIP table

Escrima can use suggestion, maybe

Failing that, they’re pretty loaded

Rolen goes to find Escrima, and Connie tails Merrow

Rolen goes looking for Escrima

He’s not by the gates anymore, but the guards know who he’s looking for

Rolen goes to the pond

The jester is mad

Rolen eggs him on a bit

Jester wants to do something really amazing

He turns Escrima into a dragon briefly

Jester gets a lot of tips

Rolen points out that they’re probably even at this point

Rolen tries to explain that Connie wants to talk to him

“Carry me!”

Mother hasn’t been contacting Escrima recently, and he’s distraught

“Oh nevermind, where’s Constanza?”

A noblewoman tries to distract Connie, but she isn't having it

Merrow is talking with a knight and a sister

Connie tells Merrow to watch his ass

Merrow invites her over

Knight is a sheriff of Waterdeep

Sister is Sister Sasha

Greg is dejected about the nobles sandbagging his reconquista

Lucas is worried for his safety

Greg wants to talk to Merrow

He doesn’t want to stay away from the sisters, because-

FUCK YOU LUCAS YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM

Rich reminds JP that Greg was the one who was worried about the sisters

Greg starts to agree with Lucas

It’s possible that he’s connected to Amarak somehow //Amarak was an ancient kingdom that occupied most of the Sword Coast. She previously repelled an earlier uprising by the Sisters.

Sister Melina approaches Lucas

She reminds him that Elsa doesn’t like him very much, and not to cause any trouble

Lucas gets his edge on

It’s best if nobody causes trouble

Lucas talks to greg about how his brother might be dead

A bard approaches Graham and Esmeralda

He tells the most lewd poem he could think of, at Esmeralda’s expense

Graham and the bard bicker about whether Esmeralda is a lady or a whore

Esmeralda is angry Graham didn’t just glass him

Graham reminds her that it would ruin the entire party

OH SHIT COY’S STILL IN THE BALLROOM

Hier talks about how Merrow has been blocking the sisters from

“Do I have to make a CON save to not fall asleep?”

WAITWAITWAIT NO

But JP moves forward with it

She falls asleep for a bit

Hier asks her name

Coy can’t think of a new name on the spot

Hier assumes she’s just smashed

Hier invites her to the most prestigious of places to bang: the utility closet

In his own damned house

5 minutes later, the two head to the closet

Coy wants to hold hands, but Hier tells her to not make things conspicuous

Coy and Hier move to his study

Hier locks the doors behind them

Coy notices that Hier looks a bit like her dad

“A fat, bald Danny DeVito”

Hier’s getting all handsy

Coy asks if he owns the airship

Proposes they bang on the ship

Hier says that there’s no time

“Watchu doin’, Coy?”

AAAAAAAUGH

“HE’S MOVING FOR HIS PANTS, COY”

Coy uses the potion of invisibility, confusing Hier

She jumps to the ceiling to try and hang onto the rafters

Hier wonders if he’s hallucinated the whole scenario

Coy says that the sisters are not to be trusted

Hier still can’t find her. He leaves the room, and locks several door behind him on the way out

Coy attempts to investigate, but the dice aren’t having it

There’s a letter from Elsa about murdering Merrow and putting Hier in control

The sisters want his army, and for him to sign a non-aggression pact

Make Waterdeep great again!

There’s some heavy armor in there too, and it looks enchanted

“I’m gonna take it.”

Rich suggests a “bra of holding”

Merrow introduces Vigo and Sasha to the other party members

Lucas is obviously not enjoying the party

Greg introduces himself to Merrow

Lucas glares at Sasha

Sasha appears to be salivating a bit

Lucas calls her out, and she leaves

Merrow seems interested in helping

But his hands are a bit tied

If Beydale becomes a vassal of Waterdeep, he’ll help

Greg doesn’t know what to say

Merrow mentions that Waterdeep thinks of Beydale as being fairly insignificant

Lucas mentions the possible assassination attempt again

He lends Merrow his bird //Lucas has a raven as a familiar. It’s named “Siegfried”

It’s totes fashionable

Lucas asks Vigo about his brother //A Military officer

Drow sacked Mossstone

Vigo says that he’ll try and look his name up tomorrow

Merrow confirms that house Broyer is at the table

Merrow is friendly with Esmeralda of course

“Esmeralda is my friend”

“She’s friends with a lot of people”

“Well, you can never have too many friends.”

After much bickering, the party decides that-

Escrima accidentally says something about the blueblood virgins or something out loud //Part of the lore the party picked up in the Candlekeep basement archives. It implies that Greg and Beydale are lore-important

Lucas & Greg, Connie & Graham shell out to go to the table

Graham leaves Esmeralda with Rolen and Escrima while he goes to the table

He wants her to make sure they’re “happy and satisfied”

Greg and Lucas make out, attracting a passing fujoshi

Lucas glares at her

OH YOU MUST BE THE SEME THEN LOL XD XD XD XD

Esmeralda manages to get a few more GP out of Graham

Esmeralda encounters Escrima

Escrima doesn’t like to be touched

He’s not into lovemaking

...though who knows where he heard that language from

A waiter tells the gang that the VIP dinner is starting

Lucas tells Connie that he’s not feeling very social, and she may need to smooth things over for him

He briefly considers using minor illusion to obscure his face, but everyone knows him already

“We’ll wing it, it’ll be great” -Rich

Rolen attempts some infiltration

He tries to explore the kitchen, but a guard says no

Coy is still stuck in Hier’s study

Hier left the window open

Coy climbs out the window, and closes the window behind her

Graham notices that Osric and Viper are already in the main room //His parents. Viper is not actually his mother’s name, she’s just an asshole.

Coy sneaks into the main room

A butler asks who he should announce as the gang as they enter

The players are confused

They settle on “Sir Graham Broyer and Lady of Athkatla Constanza de Catarina”

...and guest

That damned vampire is here //One of the nobles was revealed to be a vampire during that abandoned plotline

Coy slips the letter into Merrow’s pocket

Coy and Merrow’s pocket OTP

Graham and Connie enter the dining hall

House Broyer is pissed

Viper begins drinking. It’s not known if she will ever stop //She doesn’t.

Coy uncloaks in the middle of the room, and insists that she follow Lucas

Elsa brings up that she was a captive on the gang’s ship wayyyy back in session 1 or something

Graham corrects her. They saved her ass, tbh

Viper drinks more

“Ladies shouldn’t talk politics.”

Graham gets in a weird argument withe Viper

She drops the G-bomb //Graham’s deadname starts with “G”

Viper complains about Graham’s company

Lucas is not in the mood for little digs

Graham wants to know about Elsa’s mission

She spins the same yarn we’ve been hearing all night

But that’s not good enough

Coy mage hands Merrow in the pocket with the letter

Elsa has trouble providing detail

Merrow reads the letter.

Rolen & co. continue their exterior collisions matrix of the house

Escrima gets a guard to vacate his post with suggestion

They enter the pleb’s dining hall

Escrima asks Greg if he wants to go looking for treasure

Rolen attempts to freeze-break the lock on Hier’s room

It is pulverized

They investigate, but the dice are pissed tonight, and they find nothing

Hier asks Merrow to help the sisters

Vampire brown noses for no reason

Graham drops the name “sisters of the night”

Lucas notices that the waiters have been super quiet

He asks one of they speak common

Hier says they shouldn’t talk to the lower class

The servant attempts to leave quietly

Connie calls Viper a Viper

Osric and Viper attempt to leave, but Hier stops them

There’s some kind of magic in the servants

Merrow brings up the letter

Coy reveals that she found the note in Hier office

And also that he tried to rape her

The servants were Gnolls all along!

They sneak attack everyone

Battle against Elsa, Melina and their Gnoll henchmen

The gang is caught off guard

Connie casts evard’s black tentacles, restraining several of the gnolls

Lucas begins bladesinging

Lucas uses hypnotic pattern on the other gnolls, incapacitating several of them

Coy stabs the gnoll behind her

And by “stab,” I mean “instantly beheads”

At this point, Rolen, Escrima, and the others realize there’s a problem

There’s some gnolls wrestling with the tentacles in the other end of the hall

They head towards the dining hall

Elsa attempts to send to someone, but Lucas stops her

Elsa swears like a sailor

Vampire turns into a bat, and flies to the giant chandelier

A guard runs over and tries to attack one of the gnolls

But misses twice

A gnoll stabs Viper for not much damage

Connie spends inspiration to not lose concentration on her spell

Connie gets a solid shot off on Elsa

The tentacles gib one of the gnolls

Lucas misty steps to Elsa, and tries to stab her, but misses

Lucas spends inspiration to land a second stab, dealing heavy damage

Coy bounds across the table, landing next to Elsa

She misses her slash with the odachi

Rolen continues running towards the dining hall

Escrima runs into a sister on the way over

Blight turns her into mush

Mother compliments his handiwork

Elsa tries to run through the window

Coy gets an attack, but she misses

Lucas’ booming blade deals some damage

She takes fall damage

She tries to turn a guard on the party, but fails miserably

The tentacles finish off the other 3 gnolls on their side of the room

Graham jumps out the window after Elsa, landing two deadly blows

“I spared you once, and it was a huge mistake.”

He runs her through. The holy damage causes her to explode into bright lights and viscera

Sister Elsa of the Night is killed.

The guard next to Elsa and Graham attempts to attack the gnoll next to her, but misses twice

The guard in the dining room attacks a gnoll with a crit

Greg congratulates Escrima on his last turn

The sister by Connie tries to send a message, and Lucas stops her

She runs away, giving Connie an attack of opportunity

Connie grabs a kitchen knife off the table and stabs her in the neck, killing her

Viper continues to drink heavily

A few sisters attack Rolen in the hall

Lucas reminds Viper that the party is saving her ass

Viper continues to drink heavily

He gibs a gnoll, and reminds her again

Coy polymorphs into a bat, and chases vampire man

Rolen fights off the sisters in the hall

The sending appears to have alerted the airship

The ship blasts the roof off the dining hall

Lord Osric Broyer of Sorabia is killed in the impact

Viper is understandably distraught

The folks at the Mister Mister will probably send flowers

Escrima casts eldritch blast on the sisters in the hall

The bolts fly out the door behind them

Escrima panics a bit

A gnoll stabs Connie

The gnolls on the other side of the wall escape the tentacles, finally

Graham beats one of the gnolls that was trapped in the tentacles half to death

Merrow shivs a gnoll from across the table

Greg runs away, using his action to disengage

All magic seems to get sucked out of the building

We had to roll damage anyway. Spooky!

Rolen puts the hurt on the hallway sisters with spirit guardian

Lucas identifies the magic sucking device as being a spellskite

It’s a monster that eats spells. Eating enough makes it explode or something

Escrima wants to lick the sack

Coy continues to chase vampire man and evade more cannon fire

She picks some locks upstairs

Rolen regroups with Escrima

Vigo flees the manor like a huge yellow coward

The npcs in the room jump out the window

Lots of nobles have been gibbed

The airship fires another volley, and the shot lands in the great hall

Escrima bolts for the door, and spots the gnoll woman

The gnoll woman dumps a cloud kill on most of the party

Viper breaks the news of Osric’s death to Graham

Graham severely wounds one of the gnolls next to him

Connie screams for help and bolts for the window.

Lucas runs away from the fart gas, and to the window Connie jumped out of

Coy attempts to climb a ladder to the airship, but falls to the ground in front of the mansion

Rolen nearly dies in the fart gas

He heals himself and tries to flee with Greg

The airship fires another volley, and the shot lands in the great hall again

Escrima ducks into a coat closet and gives himself an HP buff

The gnoll woman goes looking for him

He closed the door behind him, but gnolls have a strong sense of smell

She KNOWS where he is

She casts blight!

Escrima fails his throw, barely hanging on //“JUST END ME” -Rap

Mother won’t let him die just yet

The gnolls in the alley attack Graham

They beat him half to death

Viper chides him for being in a bad spot

Graham kills the two gnolls easily

Greg hides in Hier’s rape study

A sister runs into the alley looking for Elsa, but realizes she’s dead as a doornail

Coy repositions herself in the courtyard, and spots the spellskite

She decides to try and climb the rope to the airship

...but then JP reminds her that she has the teleportation hat

She teleports to the other end of the rope, and climbs aboard

There’s a few dozen soldiers on board. How fun! //”‘A few dozen’ = 300″ -Rich “Okay, several dozen!” -Kim

Another volley from the ship gibs a bunch of civilians

Escrima attempts to smash through a wall, but he fails

He runs away, and uses his pact weapon to bar a door behind him

The priestess uses acid splash on the door, and it dissolves the door

“The Graham train is gonna do something!”

The Graham train wants to smash a wall to get to Escrima, but can’t tell which part of the wall escrima is behind

He gets lucky and smashes the right wall

Graham makes a kool-aid man noise as he smashes the wall

Connie ushers Viper and Hier through an open window

Mind the tentacles!

Connie takes a swig of Viper’s wine

They move through the building towards the front hall

The remaining sister leaves the alleyway, and calls to the gnoll woman to bail

Lucas jumps out the window into the alley, taking a crit from one of the gnolls on the way out

Merrow follows him

Coy tries to intimidate the soldiers on the ship

Predictably, it doesn’t work very well

JP didn’t expect Coy to try and board the airship

She teleports to the balloon and starts cutting the ropes attaching it to the ship

The ship is off balance, and lurches around unevenly

Rolen runs to the front door, and is confused about the plan

The gnoll woman conjures a pair of hyenas next to her and misty steps away

The gnolls in the dining hall burst out the window and chase lucas down the alley

The Graham train attacks the hyenas, wounding one of them

Graham and Lucas decide they should just leave

The gnoll woman and the remaining sister teleport away

The hyenas attack Graham

Lucas reactivates bladesinging, and heals Graham a bit

He remembers that if he says “explosion,” people will run faster

Coy does a really cool ninja move, and cuts through one of the ropes and part of the balloon

The ship is hanging by one rope, but is vertical. The soldiers fall onto the mansion from about 300 feet up

An orc splats in front of Lucas

Luckily, none of the party members gets hit by the falling soldiers

Coy becomes inspired!

Escrima manages to scare one of the hyenas away

Graham kills a hyena, but his sword is really wedged in its corpse

Connie catches up to Rolen, and asks for first aid

The remaining hyena disappears

Coy attempts to grab the remaining rope, but fails

She teleports next to Connie

...But lands next to Lucas, about 15 feet off the mark

Lucas wants to know if the airship was Coy’s fault

Of course it was. Why wouldn’t it be?

The spellskite ceases to exist, since the gnoll woman fell off the airship.

Apparently, she summoned it

The ship crashes through the northeastern quadrant of the mansion, obliterating the structure

The force of the blast pushes everyone out of the front door

Combat ends

WHAT A GREAT PARTY GUYS

The gang curses out Hier

Merrow agrees to help reconquer Beydale

Lucas realizes Greg is still alive, and gives him a big hug. Aww.

Coy points out that they just barely saved Waterdeep from total destruction

The second airship sails away

The braindead guards finally open the damn gates

#personal growth

[lj-writes]

Finn the cold-blooded killer?

I have one question for people who believe that Finn, as written in The Force Awakens, never showed regret for killing his former comrades:

Do they also believe Leia, as written in the original trilogy and more recently in TFA, never grieved her family and friends lost in Alderaan?

We never get a scene with Leia explicitly mourning the destruction of Alderaan, after all. (I’m talking about the theatrical releases of Episodes IV-VII, not media tie-ins and EU works.) We don’t see her wake screaming from nightmares, we don’t see her break down crying, we don’t see her discussing her feelings about Alderaan. Therefore she never cared about her family, friends, and people lost with her home planet, right?

Because, when you think about it, this is the exact same metric that’s being applied to Finn when some fans say he never regretted attacking his comrades and possibly killing them. We don’t see him discussing what he did during his escape from Starkiller Base, we don’t see him talk about or otherwise express his feelings. Ergo, he never had any bad or conflicting feelings about shooting at his former comrades. Right?

But, you might say, of course Leia deeply mourned the destruction of Alderaan. We know that she cares deeply for people and would go to any lengths for those she loves. Besides, what kind of unfeeling monster would feel nothing for the destruction of her home planet?

Oh, really. Oh, reeeeally. Because Leia is a warm, caring person and not a cold-hearted monster, it stands to reason that she was deeply traumatized by what happened to Alderaan even if the movies did not explicitly show it. So, applying that same logic to Finn, it stands to reason he was unaffacted by shooting at his Stormtrooper comrades because...? Because he’s a violent inhuman monster because Reasons? And what would that Reason be? Because he shot at his former comrades and never showed regret- oh, snap! Circular reasoning! Finn is bad because Finn is bad, what a feat of logic!

The above in itself should demonstrate how ridiculous this whole attempt to smear Finn is, but I’ll go further and demonstrate that TFA does in fact provide clues to show that Finn had very conflicting feelings indeed about his actions, exactly as Episodes IV onward had many clues to show Leia grieving Alderaan and grappling with her trauma. The only requirement in both cases is that you start out with the premise, or even just the benefit of the doubt, that both characters are capable of empathy and love. If you accept this premise for Leia but not for Finn, then really you’ll have to examine your own reasons why.

(TW discussions of trauma, survivor’s guilt, and suicide below the fold)

Leia first: After escaping the Death Star she consoles Luke about the loss of Obi-Wan, telling him there wasn’t anything he could have done. That scene can read very easily as Leia talking to herself as much as Luke. Her own grief is too huge and raw to touch at the moment, and if she were to start talking about her own feelings she could very well break down and stop functioning. Taking care of a grieving Luke, on the other hand, that was a manageable task and a way to start poking at the edges of her own crushing wound.

Also, when Leia told Han and Luke that the escape from the Death Star was too easy and they were being tracked, that showed two things: a) She’s really freaking smart, and b) she was knowingly leading the Death Star to the rebels’ secret base. Let that swirl around your head a little; she was leading the weapon of mass destruction that had destroyed her home planet before her eyes straight to the heart of the rebellion. It was a brilliant and desperate last gambit, of course, to bring the Death Star to the very place where the Rebellion’s full strength was gathered for a kill-or-be-killed fight. It paid off beautifully in the end, too.

However, while the strategem was ultimately a success, and it’s possible there was no other time or means to meet the Empire at the Rebellion’s peak strength (the way they were close to disintegrating in Rogue One certainly suggests so), it was still unthinkably risky. The Rebellion would have been dealt a blow it would never have recovered from had Luke not made his slam dunk.

So yes, Leia was brilliant but also incredibly reckless. I wonder what made her so willing to brave the risks to herself and the entire Rebellion from the very superweapon that had (we assume, again the premise being that she is a human being capable of emotional devastation) dealt her indelible trauma. It’s almost as if she was acting recklessly out of grief, isn’t it? As if she were suffering from survivor’s guilt and wouldn’t mind too much if she met the same fate as her people who had been destroyed before her eyes?

Then there’s Episode V and the evacuation from the Rebellion’s new secret base in Hoth, where Han shadowed Leia making sure she also left and did not stay behind in a base under Imperial bombardment. Again, in the same context as the leadup to the Episode IV finale, it stands to reason that she has been showing disregard of her personal safety and those closest to her were keeping an eye out that she did not commit, in effect, suicide by enemy--likely the only form of suicide she could accept, due to the circumstances of her loss and the kind of person she was.

I could go on, but I think this is enough to show that it’s a very reasonable conclusion, though not made explicit, that Leia felt severe grief and survivor’s guilt from the destruction of Alderaan, and showed classic symptoms such as focusing on others who had suffered loss and recklessness about her own--and in some cases others’--safety. Again, this is assuming that you accept it as a given, or at least a strong possibility, that she is capable of such feelings.

What about Finn? I have only one movie’s worth of material to examine about him, but one basic contradiction shows up very clearly to me. This is Finn’s outright refusal, at first, to face the First Order in a fight once he got away from Death Star Jr. Starkiller Base. And that should feel odd, because we know Finn did not back away from a fight with armed opponents--that he’d fired without seeming hesitation, even with evident fience joy, at former comrades in the course of his escape. This incident is at the center of anti-Finn fans’ charge that he is a ruthless killer. Yet, due to his unwillingnes to face the First Order, other anti-Finn fans call him a coward for wanting to run away. So which is it?

One possibility is that he fought in an adrenaline-induced berserker state when he was defending himself, but later realized what a close call he’d had and that he should get as far away from the First Order as possible before his luck ran out. And while that’s not an unreasonable inference, it also conflicts with the fact that Finn is not known to back down from challenging and dangerous confrontations. This is the guy who couldn’t go through with the easy “fight” of mowing down unarmed villagers, putting himself at immediate risk for his refusal, and then willingly chose the infinitely more dangerous path of freeing a Resistance pilot and breaking through the defenses of the First Order’s premier weapons facility. So it doesn’t quite fit that Finn would not willingly choose risk outside the heat of battle.

Remember our starting assumption here, the same assumption that makes it possible and reasonable to read heavy trauma and survivor’s guilt into Leia’s actions: That Finn, like Leia, has relatable human feelings. When you plug in that assumption, it becomes possible to read another dimension into Finn’s fear of the First Order: That it wasn’t confronting the First Order that he feared, but rather what he would have to do to fight it.

I mean, think about it. Where did Finn’s seeming joy at shooting his way out of Starkiller Base come from? In no small part from having a fight he could finally believe in, no doubt, but doesn’t it also stand to reason that it was actively cultivated in soldiers like him? He was, after all, taken from his family and trained up for one purpose: To be a mindless soldier for the First Order. Isn’t it not only possible that probable that a lifetime of training surfaced in the heat of the fight, leading him to fire on the enemy of the moment to survive?

Isn’t it also very possible that he felt sick once the dust had settled and he could think clearly again, thinking of the people he might have hurt, wondering if the people he knew were among the dead and wounded, hating what the Order had made him into?

Is it possible that he was willing to run to the literal edges of the known galaxy and lose himself forever rather than have to face that part of himself again, to become what the Order had made of him?

That he was, deep down, more afraid of himself and what he might become than of the First Order, and was running from being put in a situation where he might have to kill and hurt slave soldiers like he himself had been?

I’m not saying this is the only way to read his story, and in fact the layers of conflicting motivations and complex emotions are precisely what make this character so fascinating. But it is eminently reasonable to read deep regret and trauma about fighting his former comrades into Finn’s actions and choices in TFA, much like it is reasonable to read grief and survivor’s guilt into Leia’s actions and choices in the original trilogy.

We only require the starting premise that Finn is fully human with relatable human feelings, much like Leia.

And if you find that premise easy to accept for Leia but not for Finn, then you need to ask yourself some hard questions why that is.

[emoselenas]

summer tour day 9

i was going to make this entry the last few days of tour, but i typed too much for day 9 so now pittsburgh gets its own whole post HAHAHA. 

day 9 - pittsburgh, pa

photo credit: julie yi photography

p i t t s b u r g h. 

what a weird day. we had the least amount of time in the city but it was definitely not short of action and adventure.

on friday june 8th, day 9, we slowly woke up in Q’s basement one by one. actually it was more like, all of WSA woke up one by one, jaime waking up in a crevice between the wall and the furnace LMAO, and destination dimension already being packed up and up and at ‘em before we could even wake up shindle fully.  it was hard to get ready because we didn’t have a full bathroom in the basement, just a toilet. joe was bugging about not having showered. at this point i was personally going on day three or four without a shower because i was just using baby wipes and dry shampoo. i’m gross and i didn’t care whether or not i got a full shower in every single day. 

this was also the day anthony bourdain died so i was not in a super cheery mood. it didn’t affect me fully but enough to feel a sad pit in my stomach. coverage surrounding his death played on TVs hanging inside the bridge stone diner in reading, OH where the tour package ate breakfast together. i ordered an omelette and vegetable soup (yeah idk i could not explain to you my train of thought there), noooot jersey diner food but not awful. just a cheap breakfast before the next drive. 

i volunteered to drive us to pittsburgh since santino was feeling wiped and i felt pretty alert. we listened to the new dance gavin dance as we drove through northern ohio and then western virginia. we arrived to pittsburgh about an hour before load-in. i hadn’t done my makeup and reeeeally needed to get ready, and wasn’t done by the time the pittsburgh local bands showed up for load-in. makeup in the van took me FOREVER even though the mirror was RIGHT THERE in front of me in the driver’s seat because i kept getting eyeliner in my FRICKIN eye and had to wipe the entire eyeball ZONE and do it ALL OVER AGAIN. 

we played with two bands- haven state, and then we’re gonna call the other band, led zepplin. 

led zepplin was a band that we were in contact for weeks leading up to the show. they told destination dimension a long time ago they were welcome to use their gear because they understood the touring band struggle. but a week before the gig i have the drummer hitting me up to ask if they can borrow our band’s gear. weird, but i didn’t second guess because he had also offered weeks prior to put us up for the night. figured, he’s doing us a huge solid. why wouldn’t we loan our gear? it was super nice of him, and we were excited to meet him and the rest of his band. 

so we show up to load in and led zepplin is there early to help us load in all of our gear (awesome!) and introduce themselves. they were friendly and helpful. the other band haven state also shows up to load-in, and somehow they and led zepplin got into some confusion about the line-up order. led zepplin thought they were going first, but they were going last after destination dimension. originally led zepplin were borrowing our gear, but now they were going to ask destination dimension, and then use santino’s WHOLE rig. 

photo credit: julie yi photography

haven state were so wonderful. i forget how we found them but they were a band i was easily excited to see play on this tour. i was shy at first because of the confusion going down over the line-up and i wondered if it was my fault LMAO, but i later learned it was all led zepplin apparently.

haven state’s sound can be explained like this- think the contortionist or northlane, but with just a singer and no screams. josie had such beautiful tone and then the band was playing some really cool poly-rhythmic stuff. we all bonded with them very quickly. santino bought one of their shirts and instantly threw it on haha. they said they were happy to meet us because it was nice for them to play with a similar band - one that borrows inspiration from heavy bands but doesn’t succumb to the pressure of adding screams to fit in with a certain sound. 

our set went pretty well, and we sold merch! i was very happy, i felt pretty good. i didn’t feel like it was a perfect set- i actually killed it on “willow” but ate shit on “sooner or later” LMAO, but everyone in the room was really receptive to our performance which was great. 

i find it weird that led zepplin is still downstairs for haven state and then during our set. they brought a lot of people, but they nor anyone they brought came upstairs at any point until right before they had to go on. hmm. whatever. after we played i ran down quickly to order beer and food so that i didn’t miss too much of destination dimension. i asked the bartender (who was from jersey! small world) what beers she had on tap that might be from pittsburgh and all she had to offer was this pineapple beer. it was a little too sweet for me, but i paid for it so i drank it! it also wasn’t bad i just don’t like sugary drinks haha. 

some biker guy came over to hit on me and it SUCKED. i should have told him i shidded and farded my pants but as always i chickened out and just said “okay thank you” until he went away. he was like, “i just wanted to let you know that you are absolutely STUNNING,,, and i think,,,,, all beautiful girls deserve to be told they are beautiful,,,,” he continues, “well i am going to go hang out with my FRIENDS over THERE --------> ;) ;) ;) now ;) so have a GOOD night” and then it was over finally!

i also let the santana jukebox meme die in pittsburgh. all these venues use touch tunes which i have the app installed for, and every single time the app would prompt me to reload credits even though i already wasted like $10 doing so each fucking time, which i thought would be enough for plays ALL OF TOUR but i guess not. i refused to waste any more money i was done haha. 

smiling moose had some delicious food. i got pierogies that came with a beer cheese dip and a garden salad. later on i ended up also ordering another beer, a sole artisian terp lord double IPA with honey that was INCREDIBLE. sooo good. that one might be my favorite all of tour.

during destination dimension’s set, i notice led zepplin finally came upstairs during their last 2-3 songs. but their heads were down looking at their phones the whole time. apparently the second that DD was done, they approached them shaking their hands and saying “awesome set dude! can we use all of your gear?”

literally all of it. the drummer only brought STICKS.

they also asked for a guitar. tony grabbed his second guitar from the DD van and the guitarist tuned it down. the guitarist that used santino’s rig broke his noise reduction pedal. both nights after, santino had to just ditch that pedal because it started causing signal issues. 

not all of us watched them. we were pretty pissed off and lamenting the fact we had to stay with these clowns. we were getting pretty bad vibes from them.

well, there was somewhat good news lmao.

after led zepplin plays, the drummer who was putting us up for the night disappears. his friends are still kind of hanging around as we are packing our gear and merch up. we had until 10 to get out of there because the side of the street we were parked on was only for the public until then. the drummer messages me on facebook saying “hey i had to run because of an emergency, but message me when you’re leaving”. so we start to formulate a game plan for food before settling in for the night. it’s like, 9:20ish at this point. santino really wants food (it was probably milk and cookies i dont remember lmao), and so we figure we’ll stop somewhere along the way. i’m about to ask the drummer for his address when i see DD talking to one of the guys from led zepplin. 

they seem to be asking the guy for the drummer’s number or contact but i hear him say something about not being able to access the internet or his data? he then turns to me and was like “well, i can give you his number...” and gives me the drummer’s number.

i queue up a text to the phone number and say, “hey! we were just about to head over, wanted to get your address before we left so that we could figure out a place to stop for food on the way.”

a few minutes pass. we’re all shooting the shit outside the venue kinda talking about how weird the night was. i remember clearly anthony, jeremy and jaime were standing in front of me when i finally got a response back. my mouth was agape before i started laughing:

“HEY! Fuck, we kind of had an emergency at our house, my roommate got robbed at gunpoint deliving pizza and hes not doing so well. He kinda freaked out on me when I told him I was having you guys stay. Im so sorry, I forgot to check with my roommates, theyre not gonna be down with anyone crashing here tonight, Im so fucking sorry. I'm gonna ask around for you guys tho, I feel absolutely terrible”

i turn to josef and santino and say, “pull up hotwire.com right now.”

photo credit: julie yi photography

the whole lot of us erupt in raucous yelling and disbelief hahaha. after not watching any of the bands and borrowing all of our gear, this WHOLE time, the dude had NOT ASKED HIS ROOMMATES IF THE TOUR COULD CRASH EVEN THOUGH HE WAS THE ONE WHO OFFERED US A PLACE TO STAY AND HAD BEEN TALKING TO US WEEKS LEADING UP TO THE SHOW.

the bit about his roommate being robbed at gunpoint, in my opinion, could be true. and was grounds to maybe not have us stay over last minute. maybe we were fucked either way. but it was the fact that he never asked his roommates, and he admitted that. this was someone who was also in a pretty popular touring band. how could he not have asked ahead of time if it was cool? he could have even omitted that part completely, and the fact that he didn’t makes the ‘robbed at gunpoint’ alibi questionable. 

chris takes out his phone and makes a phone call. by some divine miracle his friend jorge was awake, answered, and was able to house all 10 of us last minute. the only catch was that we had to drive out three hours to state college, PA - now. 

we ran across the street just in time before the nearby coffee shop closed and we got coffee for the drive. bizzarely enough, i felt so amped up and kind of excited at the prospect of a last-minute three hour drive that i volunteered to drive. the barista was not excited that we were coming in 15 minutes before closing, but after some chatting and some apologizing on my behalf because i apologize for everything lmao, it turns out he’s a huge springsteen fan and goes out to LBI in jersey every year for summer vacation. in that moment i felt so dumb for not having my friend bobby mahoney’s band cards because this guy needed to hear them, so i prayed he would remember his band off the weight of our coincidental meeting alone. 

i wanted to make this drive fun, so i played the first 90′s playlist on spotify that i could and we had our most fun drive all of tour. we stopped at sheetz on the way to pick up some alcohol about an hour in (PA u lucky jerks y’all got convenience stores with liquor), and then we were back on the road. after the playlist played for a bit, we took turns playing requests. we played everything from TLC, to destiny’s child, to aaron carter, to the pokemon: the movie soundtrack. we reveled in nostalgia like a bunch of LOSERS but it was so much fun and as a result the drive flew by. 

we arrived to jorge’s house in state college around 1:30 am. though a little worn out we drank beers and hung out for a couple hours before going to sleep. instantly several people queued up to shower lmao. 

i took this pic at like 2:15 am and sent it to my mom bc she love shandy

i felt like this happened for a reason haha. and i think we were actually much happier with this outcome, which was why we were blissfully having conversation and enjoying each other’s company. this was probably our third tour package sleepover in a row and neither band was getting sick of the other. by this point i think we also had started up our tour group chat too, someone lumped us together so that we could more easily communicate but most importantly share memes haha. 

it’s happy mishaps like this, these spontaneous adventures, that make tour so fulfilling. on tour, i escape from the draining monotony of my life and am liberated by solely having the obligation to wake up and gig every day. it’s such a freeing feeling. which is why the last stretch and coming home were so, so difficult.

oh, and the drummer never followed up to check if we found a place to stay.

[dreamtogether2000]

#with suguru it’s like . he doesn’t fall asleep easily. so he makes a habit out of watching you doze off#it puts his heart at ease !!!!#when it’s Really bad he stays up and just watches you all night and somehow doesn’t get bored in the slightest#and with gojo it’s like …….#i think he’s a little vulnerable during the late hours#can fall asleep easily if he tries but sometimes there are too many thoughts in his head#so he just watches you with this solemn expression#i think he also wakes up reeeeally easily#you start stirring in your sleep and boom he’s awake …….#anyway what i’m saying is i think they’re a nightmare to sleep with .#imagine waking up to not one but TWO sets of eyes staring at you in the dark . i would cry

stsg are equally prone to watching you sleep i think